#our future will be someone else's distant past

[valhahazred]

Ran think the recreation of the ancient person in the 2100s display looks just like Espiritu. How crazy is that?

[daddynattt]

“I’m not cut out for this.”

Nat x Reader

Better off without you

Summary: When you confront Natasha for being distant, she says some things that she can never take back, causing the two of you to go your separate ways.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader / Future Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Warnings: angst, Natasha is an ass, hurtful words, insecurities, one brief mention of cheating, fluff with happy ending

Word Count: 1.1k words

from this list. send some in <3

my masterlist

“Nat? Can I talk to you for a second?” you couldn’t hide the nervousness in your tone, your question instantly alerting Natasha. For the past couple of weeks, Natasha has been distant and quiet, and it has gotten to the point where you can’t take it anymore. You’ve asked yourself questions like “Does she not love me anymore?” or “Is there someone else and she’s cheating on me?” These questions have been running through your mind all day every day for the last couple of weeks and it has been driving you up the wall. You don’t believe either of them for a second, but you know it will only get worse if it doesn’t get resolved.

“Of course, is everything okay?” you laughed to yourself, the confusion on her face causing you to shake your head in disbelief. How clueless can she be? “Is everything okay? Is- of course everything is not okay! You have been cold, and distant, and you’re never around anymore! I stay up late every night, alone in our bed, wondering what I am doing wrong or if you don't love me anymore or if you are cheating on me, so no! Everything is not okay!” Natasha frowns as she properly looks at you. You have bags under your eyes, you look slimmer and overall, you just don't look happy or healthy.

“Look Y/n I-” you cut her off, the anger from the last few weeks that’s been bottled up inside you, coming out full force. “No! Do you know how worthless I feel? How many times have I asked myself what I did wrong, or what I am doing wrong? And you just don’t care! You’re never here! You-” “I don’t love you anymore!” your rant is cut short at her outburst, your heart dropping at her words. “W-what?” Natasha sighs, and runs her hands through her hair as she looks at you. “I don’t love you anymore okay? I thought… I thought I could give you what you wanted and what you were asking for but I can’t. I’m not cut out for this” you wish she didn't get the satisfaction of seeing you cry, but you can’t help it and here you are, looking like an idiot, crying in front of the woman you love who you thought loved you back, but turns out it was all a lie.

“You knew all this time that you didn’t love me anymore and you couldn’t say anything? Yet here I am looking like a fucking fool in front of our friends, crying myself to sleep every night wondering what I did wrong, and you couldn’t say anything? You’re such a coward Natasha!” Natasha scoffs, raising her hands in the air as she paces around. “I can’t say anything to you! You’re so sensitive and emotional all the time and I didn’t know how to tell you! I don’t love you anymore because you bring me down! You’re weak and… I am not cut out to be with someone like you” her words cut you deeper than a knife, your heart breaking at the reality of it all. She thinks you’re weak. She thinks you’re just a useless civilian dating an Avenger. All you’ve ever done was be there for her through every battle, you were patient and understanding, showed her the love she deserved, but to her it wasn’t enough.

“Y/n I-” you put your hand up to cut her off, a sad smile on your face as you look at her. “Don’t. It all makes sense now. But you know what Natasha? I am not weak. I am better than you will ever be. You’re an asshole and you will never find someone like me. Don’t ever speak to me again” you grab your keys and make your way out of your shared apartment, getting into your car and driving to the Avengers compound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She said what? oh I am gonna kill her when I see her!” you grab onto Wanda’s arm to stop her movements, looking up at her with sad eyes. “Don’t Wanda, It’s not worth it. She said exactly how she felt and all I can do is move on” Wanda wraps her arms around you, holding you close to her body as she hugs you and lets you cry into her chest. “Shh it’s okay sweetheart, I won’t let her or anyone hurt you again okay? Let it out I’m right here” You let all your emotions out as you cry into Wanda’s chest, feeling a sense of comfort being in her arms as she says sweet nothings into your ear and runs her hand up and down your back as she slowly calms you down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey! Oh you little shit!” You giggle as you run around the kitchen island, going the opposite direction from her each time she moves, the flour in your hand gone as you threw it onto Wanda as the two of you make cookies together in the compound's kitchen. Months have passed since that day you and Natasha broke up, and you and Wanda have grown closer each and every day since. She helped you move on from Natasha, but now you have a new problem on your hands as you caught feelings for her. You will never tell her though, the words Natasha told you that night lingering in your mind each time you think of Wanda in that way, as you believe that Wanda wouldn’t like a regular civilian like you either. So lost in your head, and oblivious to the grin on Wanda’s face as your thoughts were so loud she couldn’t help but hear them, happy to know you feel the same way and that you are more than just a regular civilian, and she is going to do everything she can to show you how special you are and how you deserve to be treated.

She grabs onto you as she catches you, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you into her, rubbing her flour covered face and hair all over you, laughing as you squeal and try to get away. Her grip on you is strong, and you admit defeat, a light blush on your cheeks at your close proximity, you look up at her and smile, the two of you looking into each other's eyes as you both slowly lean in, her lips meeting yours in a soft kiss.

As you and Wanda share a soft, passionate kiss, you fail to see Natasha walking away as she sees the scene unfold in front of her. She can’t help the tears that fall, realizing that she has truly lost you for good, and she will forever live with the regret of all the things she told you that she didn't mean, and that you will never be hers again. Because at the end of the day you were right, she will never find someone like you again.

[lovebugism]

❛ i’m telling you all of a sudden, but it isn’t new to me. i love you. ❜ with our boy Steve Harrington please?

i wrote this after watching little women, so this is like that one laurie and amy scene but stranger things coded <3 hope you like it!! (this is 5k words btw and barely proofread 🫣)

The R.V. smells like coopery blood, alternate dimension muck, and nine teenagers who haven’t showered in three days. But despite all that, Steve Harrington is next to you, smiling. 

As if there’s anything worth being happy about now. 

He tells you about a dream with a hopeful gleam in his honey eyes, like he believes it’ll all come true — like death is staring him in the face. “I know it’s silly, but I… I always dreamed I’d have this really, really big family. I’m talking like, uh— a full brood of Harrington’s. I don’t know, five… Maybe six kids?”

“Six?” you repeat with an incredulous laugh. You turn your body in the passenger seat to face him more, shoulder pressing into the worn pleather. You’ve got your brows raised to your hairline in shock at his admission and a beam on your face you don’t realize is there.

“Uh-huh. Six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys,” he says with an assured nod. There’s a distant smile hinting at the edges of his lips, and he looks at you with it for a moment before turning back to the road again. 

“And every summer, I figured all of us Harrington’s, we’d pack into something like this, and… just see the country. You know, the Rockies, the Grand Canyon, maybe Yellowstone. We’d end up in some beachside town in California and spend a week parked in the sand, maybe learn how to surf or something.”

You can picture the dream so effortlessly, almost like it’s one you’ve had yourself. 

In some ways, you did.

Steve Harrington was the kind of boy that filled you with butterflies and childlike daydreams. It was more innocent than lusting, more significant than a teenage crush. There was a time you’d wanted to be with him so badly that you could barely breathe. It kept you up at night, fantasizing about a future with a boy that didn’t want you. It haunted your dreams just as often.

You were, perhaps a bit begrudgingly, a part of that stereotype — a girl who wanted all of the things adults thought girls wanted. You longed for a pretty white dress and a husband that cried when you walked down the aisle. You wanted a small house with a white picket fence, a home that’s always loud with laughing children and barking dogs and loving parents.

It was a future you only wanted with Steve.

But he didn’t love you. Not the way he loved Nancy.

Not the way he still loves Nancy.

It’s not a crime he needs to confess to for you to know he’s guilty of it. You can see it written all over his face, in the way he talks about his future family and flits his gaze from the winding backroad up to the rearview mirror to look at her. He’s picturing her in his head the way you picture him in yours.

Knowing someone else is a part of this dreamt-up family and not you is a bitter pill to swallow.

It has you looking back too, at the gang of ragtag soldiers you’re about to save the world with. You glance over your shoulder at all of them, finding them dozing or outright sleeping in the back of the R.V. 

You don’t blame them. The past few days have been hell.

You’re just glad Max has finally found a moment of peace. The redhead lazes between Lucas and Dustin on the couch in the very back. She rests her head on the former boy’s soldier, but you can’t tell if she’s sleeping or not. Lucas has his eyes closed but a smile on his face as he lays his cheek on the crown of her head.

Dustin, on the other hand, looks dreadfully out of place among the two lovebirds. His head is tilted back and his mouth is wide open. Soft snores spill from his throat.

Erica, Robin, and Nancy all sit at the tiny table beside the tinier kitchen. Their heads are either resting on their folded arms or pressing against the window.

The small cushion adjacent to the couch is taken up wholly by Eddie. 

Your Eddie.

His long legs are spread and his back is slouched against the side of the R.V. He’s taking up every bit of room the thing has to offer, which wasn’t very much to begin with. His pink lips are parted and slightly chapped. He blows soft exhales from them that make his chest rise and fall with even breaths. 

Your hands begin to ache with the want to run them through his wild strands of hair, to ease his head to your chest and let the sound of your heartbeat chase away the nightmares that threaten to plague him.

You want so badly to sleep alongside him, but you know that slumber won’t come as easily to you.

Despite the exhaustion that weighs down your tired bones, whenever you close your eyes, you can only see Chrissy’s mangled body on the ceiling of Eddie’s trailer. The image of broken bones and sucked-out eye sockets is stained on the back of your mind.

It’s something you’ll never forget. Not in a billion, trillion lifetimes.

You’re scared you won’t ever sleep peacefully again.

But you’re glad Eddie’s finally resting. Even if you can’t. 

And maybe that’s what love is.

…Love.

You almost can’t believe you’re calling it that. It’s not like you’ve told him as much or anything. You haven’t been together very long, only a few months, but you’re not sure what else to call this feeling. Is it normal for you to want to fight the most powerful dark wizard known to man with your bare hands as long as it means keeping Eddie safe?

The realization that you’re actually moving on from Steve is perhaps more shocking. You were starting to think you’d be fawning over him for the rest of your life, destined to be alone forever while he got married and had kids. But then Eddie came out of nowhere. He swept you off your feet without even trying.

You’d spent so much of your life in love with Steve that you’d forgotten how it felt to be loved. But Eddie reminded you, most ardently so, and you’ve never been happier.

And Steve can see all that.

He can see how you’ve gone to hell and back — quite literally — to keep Eddie safe. He can see how Eddie still manages to make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, even though death looms overhead like a big, gray storm cloud. It almost makes him angry. Not at Eddie, exactly. And certainly not at you. He’s more so mad at himself for waiting until you were out of his grip entirely to need you like air.

Steve wasn’t an idiot; he knew how you felt about him. He’s known for years. But Nancy was the only girl in his purview for… an embarrassingly long amount of time. Maybe that’s because she didn’t want a single damn thing to do with him at first, and it wasn’t like Steve to back down from a challenge.

But you? You were easy. You were always going to be there. Your love was the only constant thing in his life.

And then it just… wasn’t.

It was like his center of gravity had suddenly shifted or his feet had been knocked out from under him. The loss of you, of something that was never his to begin with, jarred him like he’d been awake with most vigor. Now, he finds himself living in a nightmare — forced to watch you fall in love with someone else while he ebbs slowly from your mind.

You sit with him now — with Eddie — while he and Dustin fuck around with the shields they’d crafted out of tin garbage can lids. You watch them with a smile on your face even though you’re shaking your head at them and telling them something that Steve can’t hear. 

You’ve got a sword in your hand, and you sharpen its steel with a rock. The too expensive thing had been hanging on the wall at The War Zone, and you told Eddie you just had to have it. 

“I’ll just… take up extra shifts at Wayne’s shop,” you reason with a shrug, gaze never leaving the bladed weapon.

“Do whatever you want,” the brunette boy responded nonchalantly as he dropped four cases of ammunition into the red basket in your hand. He smiled down at you. “That just means I’ll get to see you more.”

It hurts Steve for you to be so far away from him. 

You’re just across the small clearing. All he’d have to do is walk over to you, really, but it’s more than just the distance. No matter how close he gets to you, or how far you get from Eddie, your soul’s always going to be with him. 

Steve will never have you like that, and that’s what hurts the most.

He thinks he’s doing a pretty good job of keeping a stiff upper lip about it. He thinks he’s keeping some deep, dark secret, having no idea that he’s all but spilling his guts to Robin. Honestly, he’s just trying to make conversations while they make homemade bombs out of gasoline and glass bottles, but he’s more than obvious. As per usual.

“How long do you think they’ve got?” Steve asks her out of the blue while he pours the chemicals through the funnel and into the flask Robin holds out for him. He doesn’t wait for an answer. 

“Because I thought they’d be over forever ago, you know? I mean… it’s Eddie. She’s, like, totally out of his league, right? But I’m pretty sure they just had an anniversary or something because I saw him buying flowers at Bradley’s Big Buy the other day…”

Robin opens her mouth to get a word in, but Steve just keeps on going going going.

“Unless you think they were for someone else? But let’s be serious, right? He’s a freak, but he’d never do that to her. I don’t know… Maybe he’s just the sorta guy that gets her flower for no reason, and it hasn’t been as long as it feels.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure they—”

“Let’s face it, if he’s doing that for her, they’re probably gonna make it, right?” the boy laughs bitterly to himself. He stuffs a rag into the neck of the bottle. “God, I’m such an idiot… Maybe if I’d done those things, I’d still—”

“I swear to god, if you say you’d still be with Nancy, I’m gonna punch you in the forehead,” Robin snapped suddenly. She’s got a foreign sternness to her tone and a glacial hardness in her blue eyes. She glares at him with it. “You don’t love Nancy, Steve. And she doesn’t love you. So stop going for the easiest thing when you know it’s not what you want.”

He sighs. He knows she’s right. “I just—”

“I get it. It sucks being lonely. I’m pretty sure I’m destined to spend the rest of my life alone, so join the club,” Robin smiles, a tad bit cynically, at him. “It sucks being in love with someone you can’t have. Trust me, I get it. But you need to move on.”

Steve swallows. He almost winces at the thought of that — of never having you. He shakes his head as though to get rid of the idea entirely. “I can’t… I can’t do that, Rob.”

“Then what are you gonna do, Steve?” she asks him with a mirthless, but not unkind laugh. 

She nods her head over to you. You laugh as Eddie spins you in his arms, both of you marveling at how you’ve just nailed a tree on the far edge of the clearing with the knives you’d thrown at it. Steve can hear the sound of your bubbly laughter from where he sits. Its brightness rivals that of the setting sun. 

“Look at her. She’s happy. Finally. So… Just let her be happy,” Robin advises with a shrug. She sets the glass bottle in the box with the rest of them. “I mean, we’re about to stop a dark wizard from ending the world, you know? Some of us probably won’t make it out—”

“Don’t say that,” Steve scolds.

“Some of us probably won’t make it,” she repeats, firmer this time, like it’s something he really needs to hear. “Something could happen to Eddie. Something could happen to her. Do you really want to be the selfish asshole that ruins what could very well be everyone’s last moments together just because you’ve got a bleeding heart?”

She’s being harsh. He knows it deserves it. Now is virtually the worst time to tell you everything on his mind — just when you’re starting to really settle down with Eddie and about to fight some wizard in an alternate dimension.

Something could happen to her. Those words left Robin’s mouth and stabbed him in the heart like a thousand unforgiving knives. Steve can’t fathom anything ever happening to you. Even with the end of the world, with all of you about to fight a war, it never crossed his mind. He can’t picture his life without you in it.

He can’t lose you without telling you how he feels — that he loves you, that he’s always loved you, and that he’s an oblivious idiot who learned that too late.

He can’t lose you at all.

So, against his better judgment and Robin’s sound advice, Steve abandons his work with her and hikes the relatively short distance over to you.

Eddie hasn’t yet let go of you. He keeps his arms tight around your waist and hugs you from behind, pressing the back of you to his chest while his chin sits along your shoulder. His chocolate eyes are stuck on the bullseye you’d carved into the bark of the tree on the far side of the clearing. The four knives you’d thrown, now stuck at the very center of the target, stare back at him.

“This is probably a bad time to be turned on, huh?” he half-jokes, chin bobbing against your shoulder with every word.

“Eddie!” you scold as you wrench yourself out of his grip.

Dustin’s face screws up from where he lounges on the grass beside the both of you. “Gross…” 

You walk away from the two boys to collect your knives from the poor oak tree. Eddie whistles lowly at you while you go — as though he’s never seen you in a pair of jeans before. You throw your middle finger over your shoulder at him in response.

That’s when Steve catches you, when you’re finally alone, and with a tiny white lie of needing to go back to the R.V. for more gasoline. You offer to walk with him, just like he figured you might, because none of you wants anyone to go off alone. Not with Vecna potentially watching you.

You walk alongside him through the thick wood, dodging low-hanging branches and uplifted roots. Steve notices the distant smile dancing on the corners of your lips — a beautiful stain Eddie’s left there.

“What are you gonna do?” he asks you suddenly. “You know, when this is all over?”

Your brows raise at his question, mouth falling softly agape and eyes widening with a far-off look. You look stumped by the simple inquiry, like it’s something you hadn’t thought of yet — of any of this being over.

“I don’t know…” you murmur. “Go back to work, I guess.”

Steve laughs. “We’re gonna save the world tonight, and you’re gonna be back in the office on Monday?”

“Who knows? Maybe I’ll take a sick day,” you joke, just to hear him laugh again.

He lifts a splintered tree limb to get it out of the way for you, then ushers you to walk ahead of him. You mutter a low and shy “thank you” as you walk beneath it. He lets the branch fall again as he follows behind you.

“What about you, then?” you retort. “What are you gonna do after? Since going back to a nine-to-five is so unreasonable.”

“Actually, I was thinking about writing an opera,” Steve quips with a straight face. “I would be the main character, of course—”

“You’re such an idiot,” you giggle with the shake of your head. The airy, sunshine sound makes him smile down at you. His honey-tined gaze swims with longing. You don’t catch it because you’re not looking back at him.

“What do you want me to do, then?”

You tilt your head to catch his stare. Your eyes sparkle and your brows arch with a look both soft and stern. “Honest answer?”

“Of course.”

“I think you should go work for your dad. Try and… I don’t know… make something for yourself—”

“Alright, that’s not…”

“—Because you can’t work at Family Video forever, Steve!”

“You’re not playing fair,” he concedes quietly, laughing under his breath and shaking his head.

He shouldn’t have expected anything less — you did preface an honest answer, after all. It doesn’t make him feel any less bad about it, though.

You’d supported Steve through a lot of shit. Every mindless fight with his parents, every breakup that had him swearing he would never love again, every aspect of his douchebag phase that almost ruined your friendship. You were always soft with him, but never dishonest.

So when he told you that his dad offered him a well-paying job in Indianapolis, it didn’t surprise him when you told him to take it. Despite all the other shit (his broken relationship with his father and his incessant daydreaming of settling down with Nancy, namely), you knew he wasn’t happy in Hawkins.

“Fuck your dad, Steve. This isn’t about him,” you’d said. “You should take it! Starting building your life in the city! And when you’re finally making more money than your stupid dad, you can rub it in everyone’s stupid faces.”

Steve, of course, ended up turning it down.

The salary was high — too high for a boy just out of high school — but he figured no amount of money was worth a wounded pride. 

Steve was scared that it was all a ploy, another thing his dad could hold over his head, another accomplishment that wasn’t really his. And, truth be told, he was less enthusiastic about leaving Hawkins without you. He isn’t quite sure where he’d be in life without you guiding him through a significant portion of it. It made it nearly impossible to picture a life that didn’t have you at the very center of it.

He happily took to be Robin Buckley’s schmuck at Scoops Ahoy (and then again at Family Video) and Dustin Henderson’s unofficial chauffeur instead. He didn’t mind being a casualty of rattrap small town as long as it meant he didn’t have to stray too far from you.

But here you were now, right next to him in this lonesome forest, and still so far away.

You meet his boyishly forlorn expression with a sincere, tight-lipped smile. “You know that I’m right.”

“Yeah, I do,” he scoffs in response. “That’s the problem.”

“When we kill Vecna and save Hawkins for the… thousandth time… You should take that job. I mean, screw your dad, you deserve a life outside of all this shit—”

“So do you,” he argues.

“I’ll make it without you, Harrington. I’ll try to, anyway,” you quip, turning your gaze up to the family of birds sitting high in an oak tree and wishing you were one of them. You shrug to yourself. “I’ll keep on being a secretary at the car shop… Maybe settle down with Eddie.”

That makes Steve stop dead in his tracks. He laughs bitterly to himself, a quiet and venom-coated scoff. “Right. Because living with his uncle in a one-bedroom trailer is such a dream.”

It makes you stop, too, and turn on your heel to face him. You’re surprised to find him so many paces back. Steve sees a flash of hurt strike like lightning across your features, but he’s too hurt to apologize.

“I get it,” you concede with a small, cynical smile. “You don’t like him. You never have. But… He’s a good guy, Steve. If you just got to know him—”

“It’s not that,” he mumbles, cutting you off before he has to suffer through a list of reasons why Eddie’s so much better than he is. The boy’s gaze falls to the forest floor. He kicks a bunch of green pine needles with the toe of his sneaker rather than meet your prying gaze.

“Then what is it?” you retort. “Because I was just trying to help you. I didn’t say to, like, hurt your feelings or whatever. I just know that you want a life in the city, with a big house and a whole bunch of kids—” A laugh spills from your lips as you remember the dream he was telling you about. “You want that picture-perfect life, right? Now you can have it!”

“You don’t know what I want,” he counters quietly.

“Oh, please. I know you better than you know yourself, Steve Harrington—”

“Break up with him,” he blurts.

Your playful smile fades almost instantly. Your eyes search his face for any hint that he might be joking, but all you find is a deeply heartbroken boy. His bushy brows are scrunched together, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears, a puppy-like hurt painting each of his features.

You match his expression of grief with your own. Your face scrunches with a mixture of confusion and sorrow. “Wh… What?” you manage to stutter after realizing you’d been holding your breath.

“I don’t want you to settle down with Eddie,” Steve confesses. A secret he thought he’d take to his grave before ever telling you.

You’re quiet. For several long moments, you’re eerily silent. Even the forest hangs on bated breath. Birds stop chirping, the wind stops blowing, leaves stop rustling. It’s just you and him and a great big world waiting on the both of you.

A frown pulls down the very corners of your mouth. Your eyes go glassy and wide, like a heartbroken baby, and your head jerks back softly, still defensive and unsure.

“Why?” you force through a tightening throat.

“Why?” Steve repeats, finding it somehow within himself to laugh. He takes several short strides to stand with you again. With him closer now, you can see the sadness in his smile and the flush that blotches his cheeks. “You know why…”

You only shake your head in response. The words are far harder to get out. “No…”

“I just… I know it feels like I’m saying it all of a sudden, but it’s… It’s not new to me, you know?” Steve tries his best to explain to you why he’s choosing now, of all moments, to pour his heart out to you. His eyes are as wide and hopeful as the palms he waves out in front of him. “I don’t wanna go into this without you knowing how I feel about you—” 

“Steve,” you agonize in hopes of ending his rambling. “Don’t.”

“—And I just want you to know, in case something happens, that I love you.”

“No,” you say with the defiant shake of your head, your chin quivering and your gaze ice-cold.

“Yes,” he replies, just as stubborn.

“Steve…” you choke out when the name gets hung in your throat. 

A warm tear falls from your lashes and onto the very apple of your cheek. You wipe it away with the back of your hand and use your free one to bat Steve away when he tries to reach out for you. You stumble back from him, heading back the way you came — back to Eddie.

“Don’t, Steve. Just stop it.”

“Why?” he grieves in the softest voice he can muster, wet and warm with his hurt.

“You’re being mean,” you scold.

“I’m being mean?” he echoes with a sad sort of laugh.

“When it comes to you… I have always been second to Nancy. Always. And I won’t be the person you settle for just because she doesn’t want you, Steve,” you rant, voice fragile like glass or flower petals. 

He wants to tell you that he doesn’t want Nancy — that being with the person he loves won’t be settling — but you continue in your lament, and he misses the chance.

“I can’t… I won’t do it, okay? Not after I’ve spent my entire life loving you,” you confess to him, face scrunched in anger. It’s a subtle sort of rage, pointed both at him and yourself.

He watches, feeling totally helpless, while you wipe bitterly at your damp cheeks. Steve’s seen a lot of assholes make you cry. He never dreamed he’d be one of them. 

Robin was right. He’d ruined everything. It seems to be the only thing he’s good at these days.

“I’m sorry,” he calls to you as you walk away. “I wasn’t… I didn’t say it to make you sad.”

“You shouldn’t have said it at all!” you shout back, angrier than you’ve ever been with him. You take in a stuttering breath and exhale a shakier sigh, trying to calm yourself down again. “I just don’t get why you waited so long…” you agonize, words wet with tears. “Why did you wait until I was happy? Eddie… Eddie’s so nice to me, Steve. And you just… You just throw this shit at me right before we... That’s not fair.”

“I know…” he murmurs. “I know…”

The world starts turning again. 

Birds sing their songs, sounding somehow sadder than before, as though in lament for the brokenhearted boy. The wind begins to whistle as it brushes through the trees. It’s only half successful in breathing air back into your lungs.

A rustling of the brush gains both of your attention’s. It sounds like something is slithering somewhere in the thick laurel — a rabbit, a snake, a dark wizard out to kill a bunch of sad teenagers. 

You and Steve are alone, heartbroken, and clear targets for a monster who feeds on traumatized kids.

Though it’s entirely unlikely that Vecna has crawled out from the depths of the Upside Down and into these woods, you and Steve reach for your respective weapons anyway — him for the axe strapped to his back and you for the knives hanging on your belt. You’re ready to protect each other despite your distant anger.

But instead of some shriveled skin creep, you find freaks of a different kind.

The pale human faces of Dustin and Eddie peek out from the brush with curious smiles. They maneuver through the thicket and try to avoid the thorns. “What’s going on over here, huh?” the oldest boy wonders with his signature sparkling grin.

It’s almost scary how you so easily contort your features full of grief into a sickly sweet, artificial smile. You swipe the back of your hand over your face again to clear the tears clinging to your lashes, though it looks like you’re only wiping away sweat.

“Nothing,” you answer quickly with the innocent shake of your head. “Steve was just being an idiot—”

“Imagine that,” Dustin scoffs.

“—And saying stuff he doesn’t mean.”

“That’s not true,” Steve mutters, then clears his throat when the words come out more choked than expected.

“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t out here making moves on my girl, Harrington,” Eddie lilts with a playful smile. He reaches you and wraps a heavy arm over your shoulder to tuck you into his side. 

His sudden touches stopped surprising you a long time ago. You realized early on in your relationship that he can’t go without touching you for very long.

Eddie squints teasingly at Steve. “Go get your own.”

The boy doesn’t have a comeback at the ready. He isn’t sure of what to say, anyway. Eddie’s jokes aren’t as funny when they aren’t jokesanymore. He was just sort of professing his love to you and getting his heart stomped on in the process. He should probably be used to the feeling by now, but it stings like it’s brand new.

You’re grateful for Eddie’s appearance and the bickering that seems to follow him wherever he goes. It’s easy to get lost in his words, let all the sarcasm run over you, and forget the bullshit that came before it.

“We should head back before the others think we got abducted by Vecna or something,” you urge, desperate to get away from these woods and from this moment.

Dustin listens to you without question because he always listens to you. And Steve listens because he wants an escape just as much as you do. He’d rather go back to Robin and all her “I told you so”’s than keep watching Eddie hold you like he is now.

“What do ya say we skip this joint and have our own fun out here?” the wild-haired boy jokes, already leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth.

“Eddie, don’t—” you huff, but otherwise don’t fight him. It’s only an innocent peck, a loud smack upon your lips, that makes Dustin mutter “gross…” under his breath as he walks away. 

And if he heard it, that means Steve heard it.

You keep your eyes open all the while. You feel a bit numb, actually. A little like you’ve just kissed a ghost. You feel as cold as one, as distant and not all there. Eddie holds your hand the entire walk back to the clearing, but you have a hard time feeling it.

You feel a bit like woods surrounding you. You’re all crowded and heavy with sadness. You can’t tell if your grief is your own or if you’re feeling Steve’s too, because you can’t seem to take your eyes off him.

There’s an entire forest within you, you find, and Steve’s carved his initials into every tree.

[day-drawn-blog]

Part VII: I went away cause I missed you or maybe You are not mine and am I truly yours? - The Power

Pairing: Astarion x Reader -- This is set in Act I

Tags: angst, fluff, sadness, angst, fluff, then maybe eventually smut because I do love that

Part I. Crowned light moon of mine - I found you too soon

Part II : Lace your heart with mine Let your sleeping soul take flight

Part III : maybe tonight I'll rest in peace

Part IV : There is more to do and I still want to live

Part V : our futures bound, our bodies known

Part VI: These ain't my sins. I broke my chains.

Part VIII: Your blood like wine, invites me in.

Part IX: I'll welcome my sentence and give you my penance

Part X : I can't go yet...don't let me die

You all stayed at camp as two of your party members recovered their physical and psychic damage. Not much happened. The second night, Astarion was able to step out, and sit next to the campfire with everyone. Everyone had spent time on their own way - resting. Wyll seemed to have refined a dance. He wanted to share with everyone, and asked for a partner, just as you walked in with a bunch of firewood. Everyone looked at you and Wyll found his volunteer. You indulged him.

It turned out more fun than you had thought.

You enjoyed dancing in a previous life. A life which you cannot remember much of, anymore. Everyone was being merry. Astarion seemed to be recovering because he made some snarky comment at Wyll's dancing skills. Said he always dreamt of marrying a handsome prince charming like Wyll as a kid - making everyone burst out in laughter. Wyll offered to dance with him in return and Astarion turned him down saying he was afraid of being stepped on. After which a funny banter followed.

All was not as bad as it could be. 

"You seem to be all better, Astarion. Good to see, soldier. It's all thanks to Halsin's medicine that our dear captain so diligently put on you all night" Karlach beamed, gesturing to you. You felt like a deer in the spotlight. "Ah no no no, I hardly -- " "Of course you did, you followed my instructions perfectly" chimed in Halsin, unhelpfully. 

You looked down to the ground blushing. You didn't want to look at Astarion. At this point you may as well hold a sign saying you love him, you thought. "Thank you. Captain." Astarion returned, in a solemn and deep voice. "I owe you my life". "Again." You were sure he said that last word, or did he. It was said very softly, almost to himself.

Everyone was able to march forwards again.

In the underdark the next day, Shadowheart and Karlach were chatting. You wondered if Shadowheart and Astarion had found their way to each other again. You hoped they did. You did not want to come in between real love. "You know, I have a spent time in a crypt. But the underdark, still unsettles me". What? 

Astarion had caught up with you. 

He was trying to make conversation! You were surprised. "Are you still feeling unwell? Maybe you thought I was someone else?". You blurted out unwittingly. Half joking, but also, not. "Why would you say that? I was perfectly aware who I was walking upto to have an idle chatter with. If you are not interested... however" He feigned being hurt. "You never talk to me, Astarion. This feels very, not normal. Why now?". You were genuinely curious. 

"Do I not?" He seemed hurt. 

"We haven't spoken a word except last night in the past week". You reminded him, pettily. " I had, a few things to sort through, in my head." He said, a bit distant. "But I feel much better today. Both in body and in mind". "That is very good to hear. We were all worried that night. You were close to falling in the water". 

You two then talked a fair bit. 

About the incident, about his time as a magistrate in Baldurs gate. A few things about Cazador. You felt there was more to the Cazador story than he let on. But that would have to wait. You were in combat again. 

You started with your back to his back. 

You had never fought this way before. You felt safer. You cancelled someone trying to cast a spell on the party. Then at one point, while you were momentarily distracted, you saw two hands on either side of you, cast 'ignis' from behind you, as hot flames burst forth. It was so warm for a moment. Not just from the spell but his breathy voice right behind you as he took down your enemy for you. 

His face was so close to you. 

"Look out!" You were so distracted by his face, you didn't see the arrows coming. Astarion turned you around while shielding you with his back that took the arrows. His armor was enough to save him but that was dangerous. "What are you doing?!," You demanded, slightly frowning since that was reckless. "Saving your distracted self. You're welcome" he snarked back. 

And whose fault is that, again. You sighed.

Fighting side by side had it's charms. It gave him advantage on his sneak attacks while you took out any enemies in range. But at one point, towards the end of the battle, you were both near a ledge, when someone set off an explosive and you both fell off. Down into the abyss. You cast feather fall to save your lives and braced for impact. 

It didn't hurt as much but you both fell in a pool of rubble dirt and dust that clouded everything. Coughing, you couldn't see in the smoke cloud and dust. The area looked precarious. As if a false step or loud sound would make you go crashing further. Astarion was a few feet away. Coughing.

He crawled towards you. "Are you okay"? 

A wooden beam seemed to fall towards you as you looked up. Your mind went blank. You Eldritch blasted it and realized it splattered into a hundred splinters that were now raining down on you. In an instant, Astarion was on you. Fully armored. And he shielded you from the worst of them. You on your back, him on all fours, protecting you.

"What are you doing?" 

You were genuinely angry. Why does he keep putting himself in danger for you! Those splinters were not enough to hurt you badly, and you did not need saving from something so trivial. What has gotten into him today. Being the Hero. Didn't he find the idea repulsive? You couldn't understand this man. He definitely disapproved of a lot of your more benevolent choices in the past. And now look at who is being the Hero.

Hypocrite.

You expected him to say he was saving you, and you had your reply ready in your head. That you would have survived just fine. You just needed to remember the right spell. 

"I'm being ... grateful". 

Is what he said. What? You looked into his eyes. Once again, his face, was very close to yours. "You are a handful. You know that"? He quipped. You were offended. "Excuse me - I cast feath -- " His lips were on yours. He sucked and pulled on your lower lip before parting. 

"I -- wa --- " 

"Shut up" and he kissed you again. Several times. Quick, rash and hurried. His tongue found yours. You had no time to breathe. Your mind was going blank again. Why does this man do this to you every time. You put your arms around him without thinking when a voice rang out. "You guys ok down there? " Karlach's voice ran out from above. 

He tore away instantly.

"Yes! " He promptly got away and waved "we are here!!" "I saved her but now we need help getting out". "You didn't save ---" " Shut up or I will kiss you again". It wasn't the warning that shut you up. But the shock at what was happening... You just stared at him wide eyed. "If you don't believe me, why don't you test me" he smirked. He helped you up. The party had thrown a rope ladder down to you two. 

After you. He said.

You held the rope. No, after you. "I'm afraid, my love, that can't be helped" he stood behind you and tugged at the rope to check its strength, he was so close again. "I need to keep my eyes on you darling. " He smirked again as he leaned in and kissed you again. This one was longer and more tender. "For the journey back up, my dear. Who knows when I can tear you away again".

His hand was on your stomach. Tantalizingly close to your breasts. "I would like to savor you more ....later" He said in a very low voice, next to your ears, almost in a whisper. Your head tilted back, he planted one more kiss on your lips and let you go. You gripped the rope hard. Your heard pounding from the kisses he lavished on you. 

You tried to focus on the task at hand, and made your way up, slowly. Looking back down every now and again as he smiled up at you.

You resolved to end this turmoil soon.

Back up reunited, you decided to stay with the others the rest of the day. That didn't prevent him from catching your eye and flashing his smile at you every chance he got. You turned away, cheeks flushed and confused, every time.

Back at camp that night, you tore away from everyone, to sort your thoughts through before confronting him. You found a secluded pool, so you stripped to your inners and went in the cool water. You were still uncomfortable being completely naked in the wilderness. Made you feel, vulnerable. Besides - who knew if someone was lurking. These woods were filled with thieves, bandits...vampires.

"There you are, darling. "

Shocked, you turned to see him. "How did you -". He smirked. "Why, I can smell your sweet blood miles away. Did you forget, I'm a... vampire" he winked. You were infuriated - not a moment's peace with this man around. You should have washed your wounds faster. Years of being a predator has given him perfect stalking skills it seemed. Fine. Might as well get it done with. You braced yourself.

Astarion stripped down and got into the water.

Part VIII : Your blood like wine, invites me in.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Once again thinking about how we don't have a culture.

The possibility of an aroace existence is never offered to us. From birth, everyone around us assumes that we will one day feel typical attraction. They imagine helping us plan our weddings. They imagine grandkids. They imagine all the milestones in a row. And if we're very lucky, they open themselves to the possibility of these things happening with someone of our assigned gender instead of someone of the other one.

These milestones— romance, sex, marriage, children— are a when, not an if. From the beginning, we're given no space to imagine our future. So many of our problems would be solved by that little word. If. If leaves space for the possibility of refusal. Refusal leaves space for the possibility of other options.

I've tried to study history to prove that we've always existed. And the first 100 years of it is medical journals. When we were first acknowledged to exist, it was as a disease. We don't have an Oscar Wilde or a Virginia Woolf or an Elgabalus, any prominent figure from the distant past that we can point to and say "we have always been here". How would we? It's so hard to prove a negative, until you want to say someone has something wrong with them.

Sherronda J. Brown makes a compelling case for Octavia Butler. They talk about how we're afraid to read our heroes of the past asexually, and how it could be liberating to imagine them as such. But if I'm honest, imagining the past in any particular way isn't helpful to me. The past can't be changed. Even if Octavia Butler had an experience that resembled mine externally, projecting my internal subjectivity onto her or anyone else just feels deeply wrong to me. I want to imagine the future so we might create it for ourselves.

A great epistemological injustice has been committed against us and we are prisoners in our own minds. We stand a chance at escaping this prison through art and literature and scholarship made by and for us, visions of the lives we can create with one another in opposition to the normative script we've been sold. There comes a time where we must move from addressing the rest of the world and hoping they deign to listen, to addressing each other as equals and allies in the same fight.

[brabblesblog]

Dancing with your ghost

As the final struggle with the Absolute approaches, The Vampire Ascendant can feel his consort slowly becoming more distant.

"He remembers bedding her every single night after the ascension, desperately trying to use what he knew best to regain what was lost, even though he wasn't exactly sure what it was." (Chapter 9)

This is a small character study I made in preparation for chapter 15 of "Whither is thy beloved gone?"

Smut, with a heavy dose of angst. Can be read as a one-shot.

The title and inspiration for this piece comes from this song. I highly recommend listening to it.

Read on AO3.

Masterlist.

Ban closes the door to their room, readjusting her sleeping tunic. She silently makes her way to the communal area, finding a plush chair by the fireplace to sit in.

What a day.

The Wyrm had not been the salvation they were hoping for. Frankly, she didn’t know what to expect, but an undead dragon with a bone to pick with the Emperor was definitely not on the list.

Astarion, of course, had taken everything in stride.

Ban closes her eyes, recalling what happened earlier in the night.

“-exciting, don’t you think, pet?”

His voice, low and sultry as he stands behind her, undoing her armor. The usual nightly routine: undressing her, bathing her, and then fucking her, his hands fisting in her hair and his cock slamming inside her, again and again and again.

“Ban.”

She hears the last of her armor dropping unceremoniously onto the floor. He’s irritated. She moves to face him, and he cups her cheek.

Astarion stares into her eyes, boring into them, willing himself to see something there that isn’t just emptiness for once.

“Did you hear anything I’ve said for the past five minutes?”

She considers the question. “Sure. Ansur, the Emperor.”

She’s fibbing, and he notices. His eyes narrow.

“I said fighting a dragon, undead as it was, is exciting.” He moves forward, his bare torso coming within inches of her own. “But it won’t be exciting as this is, will it?”

He moves his hand to grasp her chin between thumb and forefinger, tilting her face to the side to inspect her neck - where he had bit her the day he changed her, took her for his own for eternity.

And yet he had been losing her, slowly but irrevocably, like sand sifting through his fingers…

He refuses to let that happen.

“Of course,” Ban says, smiling falsely up at him. His eyes are fierce, glowing with simmering rage and something… else, that she cannot figure out. “What would you like to do for tonight?”

She still enjoys it. Sex, carnal pleasure - the only part of him that was still him, the only part that responded as he did then.

Even if it wasn’t exactly the same. Her Astarion hadn’t been quite ready for this. Back then they had touched each other in all the ways that mattered, save one, and the future had looked bright.

At least she could look at him, let the fire in her loins take over, and pretend.

Ban snaps back to the present, distracted by the sensation of someone watching her.

Wyll offers her a wry grin. “Sleepless night?”

“Sort of.” Ban shifts forward as he sits in the chair opposite her. “I assume you’re thinking about the Wyrm.”

The grin falters at those words. Wyll’s gaze moves off to the distance for a second. “I don’t know what my father thought would happen, but I do wish that Ansur could have helped.”

Ban reaches out, grasping Wyll’s hand and giving it a small squeeze. “Nothing’s changed. It’s always been down to us, no? To our little group.”

He nods. “Not a reassuring thought, leaving the fate of so many to us.”

“And why not?” She tries to cheer him up. “We have the Blade of Frontiers! The archmage of Waterdeep. The fury of Avernus. We have the V-”

Her voice catches, and Wyll looks at her. “The Vampire Ascendant,” he finishes for her.

They’re in the tub, her hands scrubbing Astarion’s scalp. He purrs, leaning into her touch. As she finishes, he turns to face her.

“Very good, pet.” He runs a hand through his wet locks, pushing them away from his eyes. His face works at some unbidden expression before he reins it in, and it settles into his usual confident smirk.

“Now be a good girl and sit up there,” he says, nodding at the lip of the tub.

Ban does so, automatically spreading her thighs apart. Their nightly dance begins.

The Ascendant’s eyes are half-lidded and hungry, and he moves his head between her legs, tongue finding her cunt.

“Yes,” Ban nods. “Him too.”

It is Wyll’s turn to squeeze her hand. “I don’t want to pry, Ban, but… I worry. We all do.”

She stiffens. She considers telling them that she’s trapped, pinned between her love for Astarion and her hatred for what he’s become.

Choose for me. Make that choice for me. Save me.

But she doesn’t.

Not when she still loves him.

“We’re fine,” she says with a laugh that’s so obviously hollow that Wyll raises an eyebrow.

“He’s happy, I’m happy, and -” seeing the look on Wyll’s face makes her scramble for something, anything, “- you do hear us at night, don’t you?”

Wyll flushes. “Unfortunately.”

Astarion pummels into her, hips snapping with almost savage ferocity as he buries himself to the hilt with every thrust. He has her bent over the bed, his hands holding onto her hips for dear life, nails digging into her flesh. He fucks her without restraint, the bed creaking with every move. He wants it that way, wants to mark what’s his, wants everyone to know it.

Her cunt felt incredible, warm and tight and squeezing all around his cock - making him weep for her, just throbbing and aching for that sweet bliss of relief.

Fucking her like this, with her back to him and her face hidden away, is a blessing. He can avoid seeing those eyes - eyes that haunt him, who look at him as if he's already gone.

“You want this, don’t you? You want me, all of me, deep inside you.” he snaps his hips once, hard and punishing. She whimpers in response, the need evident in her voice and in the way her cunt clenches all around him.

He almost comes right there, but manages to hold off. Not quite yet.

“Say it, Ban.”

He is met with silence and thrusts in again, cock hitting her spot. He takes in a shaky breath, realizing just how close he is to the edge. He reaches forward with a hand and tugs on her hair.

“Say it.”

Say it. I need it. I need it to come. I need it to live.

Ban is fully aware of what he wants. Without fail he asks for it every night. She feels the tension on her scalp and her head follows suit, tilting backwards.

“I love you, Astarion.”

A low, rough exhale escapes him as she says it, the words shooting straight to his groin. He begins rolling his hips, gentler this time, skating ever closer to his climax.

“Again.”

“I love you. I love you so much. I won’t ever leave.”

Gods, yes. He can believe it, if only for this moment. His hips increase its pace, and he looks down to watch his own cock pulling out of her, its length glistening with their combined wetness, before he pushes it back in. He makes sure to angle himself, to make every stroke hit her spot; he is rewarded by the feeling of her cunt clenching all around him with every pass.

He’s not going to last. But he wants to hear it one more time. Please, he thinks.

Instead he growls, the hand fisted in her hair tightening, a command she understands only too well. She gives in.

“Astarion, I love you,” she breathes as her own climax threatens to overwhelm her.

For now, this is enough.

“Then come for me, my love.” Purred, his velvety voice dropping an octave.

He can feel her reach her climax, her walls clenching tightly around his cock, a feeling so intensely pleasurable he bares his fangs reflexively in response as he keeps thrusting. One hand moves to grab her ass. He moans, his hips losing its rhythm as he finally comes as well. His eyes fly shut, his entire existence narrowing down to only one thing: the feeling of his cock pulsing inside her, spurting his seed within her, giving her everything.

Ban gives him what he asks, says the words he so longs to hear. She feels the pleasure, feels the girth of his cock stretching her with every thrust, feels his head leaking slickness within her. She can sense him getting close in the way his hips change their pace, in his rough, ragged breathing, and in the way his cock swells ever larger inside her as it drags along her walls.

“Then come for me, my love.”

Those words uttered from that voice in that insistent tone never fail. She comes, legs twitching as her cunt squeezes his cock inside her, moaning his name. She feels ropes of come hit her walls, feels the sudden rush of warmth inside with every spurt, and for a moment things feel at least good, if not right.

Wyll offers her another smile, and then leaves her to her thoughts.

Alone, she thinks, yet again.

She stays in the common area longer, until she feels cold hands grasp her shoulders.

“Time for bed,” Astarion murmurs, his grip on her shoulders soft.

She stands, stretching her tired muscles before facing her lover.

Was he still that? After all this? Her eyes meet his face, and the fireplace bathes them both in firelight.

He offers her a hand, and she lets herself be pulled against his chest. Cupping her cheek, he leans in to kiss her; warm, fervent lips meet hers.

Astarion smiles. Whether it is genuine or not, Ban cannot tell.

In the light of the flickering flames, he looks like he used to.

In the light of their campfire, smiling. Happy. Hers.

If only. She would give everything to have him again.

For now, she can only dance with his ghost.

Taglist: @elora-the-slutty-songstress @tragedybunny @spacebarbarianweird @ayselluna @enterthedreams @coltaire @qiific3 @misscrissfemmefatale @vixstarria @eatyourheartoutmylove @linllewellyn @ battisonsgf @micropoe10 @thegoodwitchs-blog @akirahime @velcyrptrr @i-cant-get-into-my-other-account @babblebrain-blog @asterordinary @last-but-not-the-least @artist4theworld @gracemisconduct @decadentcoffeewizard @rootin-tootin-n-kind@pursuitseternal@youngtacobanana @krispeenuggiez @the0ldmann @vinegarjello @pursuitseternal

[mommyhelgayanderelover]

You're just looking at the stars with Optimus

Pairing: Optimus Prime x human reader

"I want to see Cybertron, Optimus."

You said it, fully expecting Prime to get the wrong idea. He'd say something about a future together or, at the very least, show her pictures. But neither of those things happened.

The mech looked serious. Listening.

"...I just picked up a telescope at a garage sale. An old one. Not very powerful. And it's got a great view of the night sky from the desert. And I thought you might be able to point it out to me."

"Okay. Tomorrow night."

And that was that.

***

The night came quickly. You prepared with a special kind of frenzy: checking the telescope's operation, watching videos on how to use the device.

When Optimus pulled up to the house at the end of the day, you were ready.

They drove in a strange, atmospheric silence. Optimus, contrary to usual, did not make any conversation. He was silent the whole way - silent even when he turned straight into the sands and drove and drove and drove.

"Here will be the most convenient viewing angle," squeaked the brakes quietly. Prime came to a stop.

You slowly stepped out of the cockpit and then looked up. A scattering of stars looked up at her impassively, glowing with a faint white fire.

The installation of the telescope went on in the same silence, and even when everything was ready, Eva did not hurry to speak first.

"If you look up and gaze for three hours, you'll see the constellation Centauri. Cybertron is located there."

You obediently looked up, finding the right constellation. Quietly she hummed.

"Which star is the right one?"

"The brightest."

You shrugged and walked over to the telescope nonetheless. Already looking through it, she found the constellation again. The focus was blurring and the stars were blurring along with it. At some point you stopped.

"Yes. That's Cybertron."

Through the faint telescope you could see a dot. It was indeed larger than the others. Its light was brighter and gave off a blue tint.

Then you understood.

"There are thousands of light years between our planets. Looking at Cybertron from Earth, I can see..."

"The past? Yes. The light and our memories are the only things that have preserved pre-war Cybertron."

You answered nothing, turning back to watching. Somewhere out there, in a distant past that remained only a measly dot in the sky of an equally distant planet, lived Orion Pax. There were other Cybertronians who had never known the ravages of war.

And how do you know, maybe at that very moment in the past, left in the night sky, someone else also stuck his head up, found a barely recognizable dot and thought about it?

You pulled away from the telescope, brushing away the obsession. For some reason, warm rivulets of tears ran down her cheeks.

"Thank you for showing me pre-war Cybertron, Optimus."

But he didn't say anything, only his lenses lightened a couple of shades.

[a-complex-joke]

The Farmer, The writer, and the Parrot

Farmer x Elliott (x Leo!platonic)

Stardew MASTERLIST

Farmer is nervous to ask Elliott if he would be up to adopting Leo, or any kids in the future. Farmer is also worried about how Leo might react to the offer.

The farmer had been frantic all morning, they had done all their chores for the day.

Yet they had been avoiding even looking at their partner, Elliott the whole time.

For the past week since Leo had moved to town, The Farmer seemed deep in thought and even a bit skittish. 

Elliott had indeed taken notice of their behavior, noting the fact that they hadn’t even come home that night, opting to stick by the mines.

Was he worried? Sure. but the farmer often lost track of time and would return later than reasonable, while still waking before himself.

Elliot found it admirable, but Ignoring him was a step too far.

“So where are you going?” Elliott said standing between them and the door.

“I was going to the mines, Clint requested way more Iron than I already had” they smiled not meeting the redhead’s eyes.

“Farmer tell me the truth, have I done something to cause you to grow so distant… is there someone else?”

It broke his heart to admit the insecurities he had been feeling, and on the flip side, it saddened The farmer that they had made him feel so.

“No! There is no one else who could ever compare to you” They put a hand to his cheek.

“Then why have you been ignoring me”

The farmer looked to their feet, mumbling something.

“Darling, you know I can’t hear you when you do that” He lifted their chin.

The farmer took a deep breath before letting it out.

“I know he never really discussed the whole if we wanted kids or not and I know it all of a sudden, but seeing Leo living all alone with no one to take care of him, it just feels like a pin is stabbing my heart. So I've been bringing him meals every day, and last night he was already asleep when I got there but I could tell he was having a nightmare so I just stayed there to comfort him. And what I'm trying to say is I want to adopt Leo, but I was scared of how you’d react” 

There was a loud silence in the room as The farmer caught their breath.

“Oh thank Yoba, I thought you were going crazy and acutely doing an order for Clint there for a second, Harvey was on speed dial,” Elliott said releasing a breath himself.

“That’s what you're focusing on, I just spilled that I want us to raise a child together.”

“Hun, I'd love to raise a little army of children if you wanted, honestly the fact that you want to bring Leo into our lives just makes me love you more,” He said embracing his partner.

“But what if that is not what he wants, Linus is perfectly content with being somewhat homeless, and they are close as can be. What if he takes it as an insult” The farmer vented, tears threatening to fall.

“The worst that could happen is that he chooses not to come live with us. Even if we don’t adopt him, he’ll still be in our lives as will we in his. And we’ll care for him no matter what” Elliott said kissing their forehead.

“How did I get so lucky to marry such a caring man”

“It came with the job I guess” He joked.

The two decided to wait till they could commission Robin to build another room, even If Leo rejected the offer they weren’t gonna give up on the prospect of being parents.

To say Robin was ecstatic at the news would have been the biggest understatement since the town ‘learned’ of Mayor Lewis and Manires Affair.

A month had passed before the pair decided they were finally ready to ask Leo. A room decorated with a large window looking out towards the farm, what more could he want?

“Hi Leo, how are you today” Farmer asked sitting down next to him.

“Oh hi, Farmer, I'm good, are you and Mr. Elliott all right, miss Robin said you guys were doing something life-changing, that's why your house was under construction right?”

Oh, Robin and her loud mouth.

“Well, yes we are planning on doing something very different, and it actually why where here. We needed to ask you something really important” Elliot said now getting down to his level.

“Now before we do we want you to know that you can say no, and we won’t hold it against you” 

The child nodded.

“We wanted to know if you’d like to come live with us, we want to adopt you. You’d be our child and we’d be your new parents” The farmer was starting to struggle a bit.

“You’d still have the tree house of course but, maybe this could be more of a clubhouse for Jas, Vincnt, and you.”

Leo stayed silent before speaking in a hushed voice

“What if I lose you like I lost my real parents” tears poked out of his eyes.

“Oh hun come here” The farmer pulled Leo onto their lap, ushering Elliott to come closer.

“We don’t plan on going anywhere, and even if we did that won’t be for a long while”

“Will I still be able to visit with the parrots?” Leo questioned.

“As long as they don’t eat all the crop” Elliott tried lightening the mood.

The three sat cuddled in the tree house till Leo had become tired, falling asleep in the arms of the farmer.

“You know I can carry him” Elliott offered as they walked back home.

“no I've got him, he’s really light, we’ve got to fatten him up,” the farmer said a little concerned.

“I'm sure Gus would love to have a taste tester with an exotic pallet”

“Don’t you think we spend enough money there?” “Crab cakes are good, not my fault

They had finally made it home and placed Leo down in his new bed.

“Good night, my little Parrot,” The farmer said kissing him on the forehead

[zoros-fourth-sword]

Scarlett- Chapter Three

Summary: Portgas D. Scarlett  Ace's older sister, decides to join Trafalgar Law's crew as their navigator after her brother's death. At first, she is distant and consumed with grief over her loss, but as she spends more time with Law and his crew, she begins to find comfort in their shared experiences.

As they journey together through the Grand Line, Law, and Scarlett must face off against dangerous foes and navigate the treacherous waters of the New World. Along the way, they grow closer, and Scarlett begins to see Law in a new light.

But their love is not without its challenges, as Law is still haunted by his past and the events that led him to become a pirate. Scarlett must confront her feelings of guilt and loss over her brother's death if she wants to move forward with Law.

WC: 1.6k

Taglist: @3v37773 @sukunas-play-thing

WARNINGS: depression, grief, mention of death

ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

Chapter Three: Traffy Laffy

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

Today was already a shit fucking day I had zero energy to get up let alone use the bathroom I have been so stuck in my mind thinking about the one hundred different things that I could have done to prevent my little brother's death and it sucked how I desperately wanna live with Dadan aging the troll looking woman actually stole a piece of my heart she did help me keep the boys calm ( more like I helped her). Someone had to be the adult out of the four siblings and of course, it had to be me. The boys weren’t even smart enough to cook in the house; they would probably burn it down in less than 5 seconds.

Imagining the memories I shared with the ASL brothers broke my heart and knowing I couldn't change the past or the future hurt me even more. I'm going to have to accept that Ace is dead, and I'm not quite ready for that. I want to stay in my own little world, where I can see my brothers happy again. I don't want to accept that Luffy and I are missing two people that we may never see again it was a hard pill for me to swallow

“Knock knock can I come in” someone said from behind my door the voice sounding like a females

“Y -yea,” I say clearing my throat as I lean up

“Hi I just wanted to check on you,” the girl said as she entered my room taking a seat at the foot of my bed

“Thank you,” I say giving the girl a weak smile

“I heard what happened and I’m really sorry,” the girl said as she grabbed my hand giving it a light squeeze

“It’s okay I’ll be fine” I softly chuckled not wanting to worry the poor girl she seemed genuinely concerned

“That was a pathetic attempt at masking your emotions” the girl laughed catching me off guard

“I’m sorry I just don’t want anyone to worry about me I’m not the type that likes the attention,” I say as I lean against my headboard

“I understand and that’s completely okay but that won’t stop me from caring you are part of our crew after all so I’m going to treat you like everyone else,” the girl said as she gave me a gentle smile causing it to warm my heart

“Thank you,” I say my voice slightly cracking as I try to fight back tears

“Have you eaten anything?” the girl asked

“No I just haven’t had the stomach for it” I mumble

“Well then I’m going to make you something to eat” the girl happily said as she got up off my bed leaving the room in a flash

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

“Miss Scarlett your food is ready,” Bepo said loudly causing me to wake up from my nap

“I don’t want to leave the room can’t she bring it here” I mumble as I hide myself under my blankets

“Nope we can’t have you being in a slump for the rest of your life,” the Minc said as he pulled the blankets off me causing me to bend my body into a fetal position

“But it’s so cold,” I say trying to make up more excuses to not leave my room

“No need to worry about that I’ll keep you warm,” Bepo said as he carefully picked me up to cradle me against his fury chest

“Hey this actually isn’t so bad” I weakly mumbled against the polar bear trying to fight my sleepiness

“See everything is under control,” Bepo said as he left my room leading us to the dining room/kitchen

“From now on I’m your new best friend,” the polar bear said as he squeezed me tighter

“Fine by me as long as I get to cuddle you when I’m cold” I softly chuckled

“Fine by me Captain does it all the time,” Bepo said

“Wait really grumpy pants is a cuddly person” I asked shocked not being able to see the grumpy man all cuddled up with a giant polar bear

“Yep he might seem like a jerk but behind all that he’s just a normal person that does normal people things (sometimes)” the bear said

“Oh” I mumbled kinda feeling bad about judging the man that kindly took me in

“No hard feelings Scarlett I completely understand believe it or not that was everyone’s first impression we thought he was some grouch but turns out he’s the opposite” Bepo laughed as we entered the kitchen to be greeted by everyone but the captain

“About time you leave your room you vampire,” the guy with the penguin hat said as he sat next to Shachi

“Shut it Penguin before you regret it,” the girl said as she harshly glared at the man

“Yes ma’am I’m sorry ikkaku” Penguin flinched from her harsh tone

“Good,” the woman said that goes by the name Ikkaku

“Anyway I’m glad you agreed to leave your room” Ikkaku smiled at me

“I didn’t agree I was kinda forced to” I weakly chuckle as Bepo placed me on the ground

“Fine by me as long as you get some food in your stomach,” Ikkaku said as she slid a plate of food across the counter for me to grab

“Thank you” I smile as I take the plate of food

“Do you wanna eat with me?” Bepo asked from behind me

“Of course Bepo how could I say no” I slightly smile seeing that it made the polar bear happy

“I wonder how the captains going to feel about Scar taking his first mate” Shachi chuckles

“I think it’s nice to see Bepo hanging out with someone other than the captain,” Ikkaku said as she slid the boys their plates

“Can you all stop talking about us like we’re not here?” Bepo said as we awkwardly stood next to them

“Right my bad guys” Shachi laughed

“Come guys let’s eat up ikkaku didn’t make this delicious food for no reason,” Penguin said as he rubbed his hands together slightly licking his lips

“Eat up Scarlett I won’t eat until you eat,” Ikkaku said as she crossed her arms stubbornly

“I will don’t worry” I laugh taking a bite out of the food

“Oh wow ikkaku this is great” I hum as I take another bite of her food

“Why to thank you Scar I’m glad you like it,” the girl said as she gave me a smile

“I’m glad to see you happy Scarlett” Bepo said as placed one of his paws on top of my head

“Thanks for everything guys I needed this,” I say as my voice begins to crack as I fight back tears

“Of course Scar that’s what crewmates are for,” Ikkaku said

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

I’m currently standing outside on the deck of the Polar Tang after being locked up in a small space for hours I decided to give my lungs some fresh air

“Aren’t you supposed to be in your room moping” I hear a voice approach me seeing that it was my captain

“Trust me I would rather be doing that but Ikakku said she would kill me if I went back to bed” I laugh as I rest my chin in the palm of my hand leaning up against the railing

“Mhm” Law hummed as he stood next to me with his arms crossed over his chest

“I just want to make one thing clear Scarlett if you hurt any of my crew members mentally or physically I’ll make sure you regret it” Law grumbled as he leaned his back against the ship’s railing

“What's your deal with the threats you act like it’s supposed to scare me” I mumble into my palm slightly getting irritated with the man

“It’s not a threat if you mean it,” Law said as he looked me up and down

“Yea yea you don’t have to worry Traffy Laffy I wouldn’t dream of hurting them” I huff as I turn my full attention towards him

“Whether you like it or not we are eventually going to have to trust each other,” I say as I cross my arms over my chest

“You don’t think I know that” Law huffed as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration

“Look I’m sorry that I kinda showed up unexpectedly and that old man Ray kind guilt triped you into letting me join your crew,” I say

“I really appreciate this Law I’m not really good at showing my appreciation but I’ll try my hardest to prove it,” I say looking the man in the eyes letting him know I was completely serious

“It’s fine no need for formality” Law huffed

“Get some shut-eye we have a big day tomorrow,” Law said as he began to walk away

“Oh and don’t ever call me Traffy Laffy again,” Law said as he came to a complete stop

“Yes sir Traffy Laffy” I mumbled under my breath

“I heard that” Law yelled back towards me as he walked away causing me to let out a giggle

Maybe Trafalgar Law isn’t that bad of a guy.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

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. 　　　★ 　° :. ★　 * • ○ ° ★

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° 　. ● . ★ ° . *　　　°　.　°☆

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I hope everyone enjoyed I’m sorry if my writing is horrible I’m trying to make this readable as possible 😭

{A/N look at this man y’all these fan-arts are to die for I swear ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) }

[fantasyfantasygames]

We Were The First

We Were The First, Starfather Games, 2009

You know how some sci-fi settings have one particular alien species that is "the eldest", first in the universe to attain starflight, providing wise guidance to the newer species? No? Well, it's an older trope, it's not as in vogue any more, and it was already getting subverted by the time Babylon 5 came around. But this game puts an interesting twist on it.

You see, in this universe, humans are The First Ones. The game is set in the distant future, after humanity has made contact with dozens of other life forms. We also have a Great Disaster in our past, perhaps even the destruction of Earth itself. We Were The First (WWtF, not to be confused with W:tF) has your characters attempting to make peaceful contact with strange aliens and help them avoid the kinds of mistakes your people made in the past.

Violence is a failure state. The entire combat system goes like this: "You can shrug off any harm done to you. If you try to harm someone else or win a fight, you succeed. However, you lose something important that you have gained or could gain this session." The few weapons you bring with you are immensely more powerful than anything you're going to run into, so someone who attacks you just wastes their time. The moment you start striking back, you've lost. Negotiation, give-and-take, and empathy-building are the game's key subsystems.

Core stats are fairly simple, consisting of Professions (Diplomat, Trader, Spacer, etc.) and some Resistances (Tenacity, Wisdom, and Calm). The complex part is your relationships with others. Each relationship has a rating from 1-3, and a Sentiment (love, curiosity, deference, obsession, etc.). You have to have some positive-emotion Sentiments and some negative. You can even have multiple relationships with the same person - You might have Love 2 and Curiosity 1, or even Love 2 and Hate 3 and Obsession 2 all with the same person. It can be a fair amount to keep track of. Luckily it borrows the Exalted 3rd rule of "If it makes sense that you have a particular rating with this person, just write it down when you need it. It doesn't have to be on your character sheet beforehand." Really, the relationship system is very close to Exalted's "intimacies". Building and changing them is a core part of the system.

The random alien and planet tables are my favorite. They flow together such that one roll modifies percentages for other rolls. Certain types of aliens are more likely on certain types of planets, and certain planet types are more likely around certain star types. Communication type, sensorium, mobility, closest Earth equivalent for visual description purposes, linguistic compatibility, emotional spectrum differences... they cover a lot. You roll up how many governments there are, what types they are, who they send as their first-contact teams, what their religions are like, and more. For some people this would be overkill, but they're really well-designed and I like them.

The biggest place where WWtF fails is that it doesn't explain why the ship is entirely humans. Why don't any of the other alien species in the Galactic Unity come along? A few half-assed rationales are given, the best of which is that they have their own ships with different life-support systems, but even that doesn't hold much water for me. It feels like a plot hole. If you can get past that, this game gets a strong recommend from me.

WWtF is distributed as a file package is compatible with Obsidian, Zim, TiddlyWiki, and other desktop wiki things. You can theoretically also just open it with a web browser.

[originalficsyt]

Eren Tells You His Plan to Destroy The World

——————

word count: 1k

warnings: none

click here to listen on YouTube

As you entered the dimly lit jail cell, a sense of anxiousness filled the air. You were here not as a friend, but as the person closest to Eren, chosen by Hange Zoë, the current Commander of the Scout Regiment, to fulfill a critical task.

She believed that you, out of everyone, had the best chance of getting information from Eren, given your past closeness.

The memories of your bond with Eren flooded your mind as you faced him. From the early days of your childhood, you had been inseparable, forming a connection that surpassed mere friendship.

You shared hopes, dreams, and a desire to explore the world beyond the towering walls.

The two of you would spend hours talking about your aspirations, exploring the outskirts of the Shiganshina District, sharing made up stories of distant lands, and imagining what would be beyond the Titans' grasp.

Those moments of joy and laughter had created memories that were etched into your heart, and you cherished the times you spent together.

As you grew older, your bond with Eren only deepened. After surviving through the terrors of Titans destroying Wall Maria, you both vowed to become scouts and eliminate Titans.

You faced the brutal reality of that mission, standing side by side against the relentless horrors threatening humanity's survival. In those moments of fear and uncertainty, your closeness served as a source of strength and comfort.

But as time passed, something changed in Eren. The Eren you once knew seemed to be slipping away, replaced by someone who is distant.

You walked closer to his cell, but he didn’t acknowledge your presence, his eyes were locked on the reflecting image of himself in the mirror.

You looked at him, searching for traces of the boy you once knew, you couldn't help but wonder if your past closeness could bridge the gap between you two.

Could the strength of your friendship reach through the darkness that consumed him and remind him of the dreams you once shared together?

“I know why you’re here.” Eren said as his eyes met yours, and in that moment, you saw the weight of the world etched upon his face. Of course he knew why you were here, you wanted information just like everyone else.

And he knew that the information he held was too sensitive to be overheard by the guards outside.

Without another word, Eren activated his newfound powers, surrounding you in an alternate world shielded from prying eyes and ears.

In this ethereal realm, the outside world seemed to fade away, leaving only you and Eren in an isolated cocoon of existence. The air crackled with an otherworldly energy, and the guards' voices became muffled whispers.

In the isolated realm of the alternate world, Eren began to reveal his plan. He trusted you.

"Eldians have suffered for generations, hunted like animals, blamed for sins they didn't commit," Eren said, his eyes heavy with the weight of his people's history. "I saw a future where our enemies would never stop coming for us, where Paradis would be crushed under the weight of their hatred."

He paused, collecting his thoughts before continuing, "I couldn't stand by and watch it happen. So, I decided to fight back. To use my power to protect our home and our people."

“That’s why you forced us to attack.” You said barely holding it together.

"I've inherited the memories of the past, the truth behind the walls, and the atrocities committed against Eldians," Eren explained, his voice laced with bitterness. "It's a never-ending cycle of violence, and I have to break it, even if it means becoming a monster in the eyes of the world."

His revelations left you speechless, the enormity of his plan sinking in. The sacrifice he was willing to make, the darkness he would have to embrace, it was all too much to comprehend.

"I know it's a heavy burden to bear," Eren said, his voice softer now, almost pleading. "But there’s no other way. I have to protect the people I care about. And I can’t let you all suffer because of the world's hatred anymore."

His words struck a chord in your heart. Eren had always been fiercely protective of those he loved, and now you understood the depths of his resolve.

"But at what cost?" you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "You’re really going to kill millions of people?"

Eren's gaze softened a bit as he heard the fear in your voice. But he quickly regained his composure. "If I don’t protect our people, no one will. This is the only way.”

As the weight of the moment settled upon your shoulders, Eren turned to you, his eyes searching for something – a sign or a glimmer of hope.

"Are you with me?" he asked.

Your heart wavered between the loyalty you once shared and the devastating consequences of his plan. The choice before you was monumental, and you knew that it would alter the course of your life and the world as you knew it.

"I... I need time to process everything," you replied, completely uncertain and taken back by his question.

Eren simply nodded, accepting your response, his eyes reflecting both understanding and a glimmer of hope.

With each passing moment, your understanding of Eren's transformation deepened. You saw how much he had changed since the time you were close, and you realized that the burden he bore had taken a toll on him.

As the alternate world dissolved around you, reality crashed back in, and you were left alone with your thoughts. The guards' voices returned, and the sense of responsibility weighed heavily on your heart.

The path ahead was fraught with complexities, and you knew that your choice would shape the future for both the world and yourself. With a deep breath, you are prepared to face the consequences of your decision, whatever it may be.

As you turned to leave Eren faced the mirror once more and seemingly began talking to himself.

After reporting back that Eren didn't reveal anything, you couldn't shake the weight of the burden he had shared with you. That night you couldn’t sleep as the haunting question replayed in your mind over and over again: are you with him or not?

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

The last interaction Dib has with his father for years.

Things said... things unsaid...

Sometimes... you just need to let them know, the things you hold onto.

An echo return of past conversations

Part of the Post Florpus AU in the somewhat distant future. 

Dib and Zim leave for college or something, I don’t know. 

This comic is ooooooooooold. Like around two years old. I shared an preview update on my Kofi and shared with a few people in discord servers for awhile, but I never posted it publicly. 

Part of the reason I held onto it for such a long time: (personal long ramblings under the cut and talk about my grief experiences.)

....was partly because I felt without context for the overall series huge chunks missing about Dib’s character development in Post Florpus and what I have planned, it would have come across as a shallow thing... Dib forgiving his Dad for being a neglectful father or something akin to that and I feared the protentional backlash something like this could have among the Invader Zim community. Since people who connect personally with that show typically all have their own issues regarding their parents. (not always but I see it very often)

And I changed the dialogue of what Dib said to his father over several times. Like “I love you” “I forgive you....” but it didn’t seem appropriate to me. Nothing felt right other than telling him that He’s proud of him in the same way that Membrane told Dib in Enter the Florpus. 

And no, Dib doesn’t forgive his Dad for having a shitty neglectful childhood. Cause he was, a terrible parent, but Dib can acknowledge that his Dad is getting better... and working to improve... and knows his Dad loves him... but he also can establish boundaries and set his distance... this is the last thing Dib basically says to Membrane before he cuts him out of his life temporarily when he goes to University. 

And it very personally echos the relationship that I had with my Father and Mother. There was a huge period of time where I hated my father after he passed away. For how distant he was in his parenting style and how much he left my controlling Mom to do everything. When he passed away I felt like my Mom was tighter with a leash on me, and it took a long time and therapy on both of our ends to have a healthy relationship with good boundaries. 

I’m on real good terms with my Mom now and I can’t imagine a time where it was ever tense between us, and she’s really a different person then the one I grew up with. Heck, even Mom from seven years ago is a different person and was way were then. I’m glad that I can call my Mom my friend too. 

I know it doesn’t always work out that way in real life for some people.... but this AU is extremely personal to me, and I like to write about my displacement in my family since my Dad died, and what happened over the years as we coped with that. 

Post Florpus AU stemed from me being emotional about ETF due to my grief of losing my father and my own personal experiences with my family just struck the right chord at the right time in 2019. And that has never changed. 

I drew this two years ago angry at the time... thinking that there were many things I wanted to tell my Dad. How he could have been there for Mom more when me and my sister were struggling with heavy bullying in school, how Dad could have took on more responsibilities when my Mom tried to go back to college. And how I still wanted him here.... but in retrospect, he did the best he could do at the time, knowing what he knew... as an undiagnosed autistic and everything else.... 

Like there’s no forgiveness of his favoritism of one child over the other and how he left Mom to do all the parenting. But I feel if he was alive in our family unit today, we’d all have a healthier family dynamic and balance. People can always change, and change every day and I personally don’t hold onto memories of people when I know every five years someone can be reborn. But the effort always needs to be there.

I don’t know. I’m rambling.  

In any case, I just kept this under my belt for so long because I was worried of public perception and worrying people might judge me for “Forgiving shitty dads” or something...

Sorry to break it to you... but in this AU everyone does get better. Dib doesn’t even need to be in contact with his Dad, and he won’t for a long while until he matures more. 

Forgiveness is a choice on the Membrane Sibling’s part, and sometimes, in this case... it isn’t needed. Membrane himself doesn’t even want forgiveness for his shitty parenting in the past. He just wishes for his children to grow up happy and healthy, and if they want to stay in contact with him, great, but he won’t force himself when he’s not wanted. It’s a delicate balance.... He’s not forgiven exactly, but the Siblings appreciate the effort... and they like who he is now, rather than who he was... but it will take a long time before they can have a proper adult child and parent relationship. Baby steps.

TLDR: My au. My rules. Membrane Trying juice. 

[carmendeiact2whenplz]

Hey.

Any interesting thoughts on the implications of Venti directly referencing real life human mythology in the official webcomic? I mean, he’s said before that he knows any song “past, present, and future”, but could that power somehow extend across dimensions and/or worlds?

Honestly? I know that Venti knowing things from other dimensions may or may not depend on how closely connected the Honkai (impact 3, star rail, etc) universes are to eachother and to Genshin, but as to knowing things from our dimension, the best guess I have is that it has something to do with genshin itself referencing tons of mythological figures, even though those gods/entities aren’t actually existing in the game (for lack of better words), like how many of the enkanomiya achievement names are from greek gods, Ajax/childe/tartaglia being named after a greek mythological figure, etc.

One interesting thing of note is how one of the loading screen lines goes something like “the abyss rewards reset twice a month, which is eerily similar to the cycle of a moon in some distant universe”

WHO IS “THEY”? IS IT ISTAROTH? IS IT SOMEONE ELSE???

Note: in real life, the waxing and waning phases of the moon do work this way (it’s not exactly every 1st and 16th of the month, but usually it does occur twice a month)

I do not have an answer for how Venti knows everything. Is it Istaroth? Is it a higher power than that? Is it purely just for coincidence and because Hoyoverse? I don’t know, but I do know is that Venti is incredibly sus and needs to give us more info about him.

[day-drawn-blog]

Part X : I can't go yet...don't let me die. - "I want to live".

Pairing: Astarion x Reader. This is set in Act I.

Tags: angst....

Part I. Crowned light moon of mine - I found you too soon

Part II : Lace your heart with mine Let your sleeping soul take flight

Part III : maybe tonight I'll rest in peace.

Part IV : There is more to do and I still want to live.

Part V : our futures bound, our bodies known.

Part VI: These ain't my sins. I broke my chains.

Part VII: You are not mine and am I truly yours.

Part VIII : Your blood like wine, invites me in.

Part IX : I welcome my sentence, to give you my penance

--------

Into the night, turbulent thoughts led you to dark places in your mind. You got up, and stepped out. The campsite was desolate. Serene. You walked towards the distant hills. Alone. Feelings of loneliness, rejection, abandonment haunting you. The bond you thought you had built with another, these past few weeks, was perhaps too fragile to endure. A shared secret had brought you close. Only a yearning remained. Of what could have been. 

He was holding her, consoling her. 

You reasoned. The cool air on your face brought you back to the present. The great vastness in front of you, made you feel, insignificant. You had been too greedy, and had come full circle to the start. You were here back then. Rejected, and abandoned. But now....amidst the chaos you knew you did the right thing. You would trade guilt for your pain any day. You needed to bring order. 

You needed to refocus. 

The moonlight bathed you. You heard someone approach. You didn't expect him that night. But there he was. You looked at your cut, blood trickling down. "Stay back, Astarion. Do not come closer." He didn't heed your warning. Bad move. You thought through gritted teeth. You had overlooked every transgression of his. No more. 

You reached for your weapon. 

You swung it. The great hallberd gleamed in the moonlight and was met with two of his swords held in each hand. Anger coursing through you, you retreated and attacked. Again and again. What you lacked in martial skill you made up in pure bitterness. He defended himself well. He was more skilled in wielding his melee weapons than you were. 

His eyes were as resolved as yours. 

He hadn't uttered a word till then. But you were beginning to lose your breath, and your footing. You could incinerate him instantly, but that wasn't your goal. That wouldn't suffice, wouldn't calm your wrath. You hit, harder, repeatedly. He parried every single one, swift on his feet. Eventually he overpowered you. 

He had a sword to your throat. 

You fell to your knees. Exhausted. Still in the grips of an unfathomable rage. You cast Eldritch Blast on a nearby rock, shattering it to pieces. Only then did you feel your rage subside a bit. Spent, you on all fours, you hit the ground with a fist. He threw his swords in front of you. "Stop", he growled. "I'm yours... already" he continued. "Stop this madness. Why ...punish yourself in my stead. My body is yours. Just ... use me as you wish...punish me ... or use me for pleasure ..." 

"However you like. As you desire..." 

What nonsense is this?!. Does he understand the gravity of what he is saying? Has he lost his mind? 

"I do not want you, Astarion. You are not a thing, nor mine to claim". You got up. "Why are you here, anyway?" You couldn't mask your resentment. You no longer wished to be caught in his web of lies, ensnared by his charm, in the illusion of love and desire. Yes you craved to be needed, wanted, sought out. But this... was just an mirage. Carefully crafted to manipulate you. 

You were being used the entire time. 

And you would put an end to that now. Fully resolved to not relent to his charm. To none of his advances. You braced for the next honeyed words he would inevitably utter, to pull you back into the dream he wove. But he said something entirely unprecedented. "I ....have nowhere else to be". He said, quietly. 

Another lie. You thought. 

"You abandoned Shadowheart? I cannot help but marvel at the coldness of your heart. But of course, you are a vampire. You do not have one". 

You hoped to cut him. But why. 

He looked at you, searching, with his eyes. Did you really mean that? He could try reading you all he wanted. Your face wouldn't betray your inner turmoil. Unable to fathom you.... He relented. 

"She doesn't ...want me. She never did. All she ever wanted, all anyone...has ever wanted...from me...was pleasure. When someone seeks me out...I do not refuse them. It's what she did. So I gave myself to her. It's what I was taught. It's all I have ever known, to do. As long as I can remember...to be". 

"It's, all ...I am". 

Wait. What? Hold on...

"In another lifetime" he continued. Oblivious to the horror on your face. "I would have taken her to my master, Cazador. No one has ever sought me out, more than once. They never got a chance..you see. They either died...or were enslaved by my master." He looked at you, nonchalantly explaining his life to you... Not realizing how it made you feel. 

Your words failed you. 

Astarion was baring his most vulnerable self to you. He was being....honest. Was that really how he had lived ...under Cazador? How could Cazador do that to him? You needed to help him. The hatred in you, the seething rage was replaced with remorse. That you hadn't known ...about his man. About the darkness he was battling with. He was a prisoner in the past ...and a prisoner now, to the scars he bore. 

"But now...is different". He continued.

"She did seek me out. More than once. And I was happy, to oblige. I was grateful. I was happy ...to be of use to her. She is beautiful...and powerful...and kind. I felt safe... protected. So, I served her, to my best ability." So ... Yes, you both found pleasure in each other. But she probably felt more than that about you, Astarion. Or were you so oblivious to the fact that someone can want you...for more than pleasure....it made you blind to ...her true feelings?

He needed saving. And love. 

"Why abandon her now? If you devote yourself to her, she will continue to cherish and protect you. Im.sure. " you reassured him. "That's what you want isn't it?" You gently led him. Hoping to steer him in the right way. If Shadowheart could bring him out of the darkness, maybe he should ...let her. 

He shook his head. He disagreed. 

"I felt ...empty...with her. Around her. I had to wear my mask. Never let her know who I was, lest she throw me away, because I was a ...monster. I am a monster, you see. I'm prey on the living. I drink...blood." He looked away. 

He really despised himself, you noticed. 

The regret in his voice was palpable. "But you.... You forgave me, for being, who I was. I felt free...with you. I have never been myself, around anyone outside of Cazador's ..."family"...Returning to her ... after you...was exhausting. Unsettling..." 

"I didn't want it anymore. "

"Didn't look forward to it...it was ... difficult. I was growing cold to her...avoiding her. She noticed ...I'm sure. But she never spoke of it. Which led me to believe she never sought me outside of ...carnal pleasure. Perhaps she had tired of me too. Perhaps I wasn't my best... with her anymore. I couldn't force myself anymore. I was happier....when with you..."

You wanted to heal his fragile heart. 

"I do not want you for carnal pleasure Astarion. That's not what I need from you. I will give you my protection freely. And perhaps my blood, should you desperately need it." Astarion looked at you. That was not what he was expecting to hear at all. He was fully prepared to be thrown away. He had had several nights with you. More than he could have wished for. 

He was happy with just that. 

What had he done to deserve that? Him. Why him? He was the lowest of the low. A murderer, evil incarnate. Despicable.  "But ...why? I have given nothing to you. I have only taken .. I have nothing to offer you...I have nothing...I possess nothing, The only thing I know how to do, only thing I'm good at....is ...my body. To serve...to pleasure ..." 

"So ... just use me, please". He pleaded. 

Must he be so used to degrading himself? "You can offer me many things Astarion. Your loyalty to start. Your cheerful disposition. Your strength... both of body and mind. Your... friendship ...your trust." You smiled at him. You could give me your real self, your affection ...your pure, uninhibited love... But you didn't say that. That was not something you would ask. "You can keep your promise to me from the other night. A reason ...for me to live on". You reminded him. 

"I do need you too....your embrace... " 

You said, as you smiled, you looked at him. To reassure him that you meant it. He looked at you blankly at first. Unsure. But ..then...in what felt, forever. His face lit up. "Really? Is that all you want...from me? Can I offer you ... Yes....i promise you...you have my.. my trust and my faith. My loyalty and my unwavering friendship. My gratitude." He walked to you. "You have ...all of me. Every bit of me. The monster and the ally. The sword and the shield. My ..self ..." He held you. 

"I'm yours. Only yours". He smiled.

Looking at you. "Whether you need me or not, I'm here for you. You need not look further.. I devote myself to you. Till you...till you no longer want me". He held your face in his hands. His voiced suddenly tinged with sadness. "But even so ....I only hope and prey, that you don't abandon me. Can you promise me? After making me feel wanted, for who I am.... I would not be able to live on, if you threw me away too...I have no one else..." 

He pleaded with his eyes... Before kissing you.

-------

Epilogue 1 -

Leave the flames and take a chance to be with me tonight

[doubleddenden]

Okay so like... anyone else have some insane theories about wtf happened in the Great Crater? I'm sitting here like

and i saw really good theories, but i had my own takes on how certain things went down. Mind you I'm playing from the perspective of someone that beat Violet, so if there's something slightly different in Scarlet (which I doubt its all that different), i might be a tad off.

But if you want to fall down into this rabbit hole with me, read on what I basically copied from my insane ramblings at my friends and slightly expanded on. BUT, be warned, do not read unless you have beaten all the stories of the game. All of them. There's major spoilers if you do, and I strongly recommend you experience the ending for how powerful it is, and read the Violet book contents for yourself in the Entrance Hall.

There's a book called the Violet/Scarlet book depending on the version, and it was written by a man named Heath from the Area Zero expedition team that explored this huge, unmapped and perilous Great Crater at the center of Paldea/PokeSpain. Heath wrote about a lot of crazy things that the public thought was nothing more than fantasy roughly… I think 200 years ago? Until the professor half proves it true about 10 years ago by discovering the "jewels" that the book talked about that would make Pokemon all sparkly- Terrastilizing basically- and made them a pretty common phenomena in the rest of Paldea. This same book also mentions various weird monsters that look like either ancient versions of Pokemon or futuristic robot versions of Pokemon- again, this is HUNDREDS of years ago written down- and these Pokemon do exist.

Further into the Violet book, Heath talks about a particular… Thing he saw- He's unsure of whether its a Pokemon at all and the text is all garbled, and the picture is hardly any help because it kinda looks about as abstract as an Evangeleon angel. BUT, the Pokemon is said to be comprised of a LOT of hexagonal shapes basically, and since it's heavily hinted like this, it's most likely another legendary Pokemon not covered in base Scarlet or Violet at this point. Here's the creepy part about the hexagons: Professor Turo/Sada- although not really them and more like their AI counterpart- basically gets the player to come down to Area Zero/The Great Crater's very bottom to turn off a time machine that is uncontrollable, following a strict program by the ORIGINAL Professor that is long since dead, and is bringing past/future Pokemon to the present in ways that would destroy or endanger our ecosystems. GUESS WHAT FUCKING SHAPES ARE COMPRISED OF THE TIME MACHINE ROOM??? well, triangles, but also HEXAGONS!!!! LOTS OF MULTICOLOR HEXAGONS!!!

it gets even weirder. Heath wrote an entry about how he and his team found these weird carvings and symbols in Area Zero that cannot be deciphered. He also writes about how he woke up someplace random one night, faintly remembering having a conversation with something or someone but not having the foggiest clue what, and he had notes and shit scribbled down after that. Separate from that, the Time Machine Turo/Sada built is able to send pokeballs to distant eras to capture and bring back those creatures to the present- but they didn't invent it until about 10 years prior to the present day- AND YET Heath still saw Paradox Pokemon. It'd be a simple thing to say the Great Crater acts as a nature preserve to super ancient Pokemon if it were just that- but 200 years ago in VIOLET Specifically, a robot Donphan mortally wounded a team member- same as the ancient Donphan does in Scarlet. That should be impossible because Iron Treads/Robot Donphan is from the FUTURE, not the past.

BUT for some fucking reason, for some DANG OL REASON, despite us going through several fail safes to turn it off, more and more fail safes come back online despite the AI wanting us to turn it off- because the AI saw that this was dangerous, but Turo for some reason wanted DESPERATELY to keep the Time Machine running. The desperation is so intense that the fail safes are able to overwrite AI Turo's will in order to protect the time machine.

Basically it seems fated that Turo/Sada obtains the Violet/Scarlet book somehow, because it ends up being their favorite childhood book and eventually brings them to the crater where they set up a lab and eventually succeed in building their time machine and proving Terrastilization is real. Turo, from my end anyway because Violet, seems obsessed with making "Paradise" in which Future Pokemon can coexist with present Pokemon- In fact, he seems to be driven somewhat mad by it, because his fellow scientists- including the woman that would become his son/Arven's mother even abandoned him. Turo would eventually create an AI that is a perfect replica of his personality and memories to a certain extent, made only possible due to the energy that is available down there. Turo would eventually be killed by a second Miraidon that he brings back from the future- I assume Sada is killed by a second Koraidon- either way, the robot is now all that's left of the Professor, and it asks us to come down to turn it off.

I believe Turo had some sort of… connection to some sort of entity- probably the same one that conversed with Heath- and the entity basically laid out seeds that would lead to Turo creating the time machine- including having Turo send future Pokemon back to the exact point the Zero Expedition was happening, ensuring the Violet Book would be written and bring him there. But now the issue is this: Why? Why was he so desperate? Why was it so important to keep the portal open? p2

The hexagons play another role in this: In Area Zero, crystals grow rampantly and even swallows technology whole, even trees aren't spared, but it was able to swallow WHOLE BUILDINGS. The mysterious Hexagon thingy Heath found is most likely the progenitor to Terrastilizing- and this is where it gets weirder and weirder- Terrastilized crowns that EVERY POKEMON WEARS all have tiny faces in the crowns. The orb that allows us to Terrastilize is also conveniently shaped like a Pokeball, imo.

Theory time: Terrastilizing is a sort of soft fusion between a regular Pokemon and this hexagonal entity that can alter its types- Which probably means it can be any type like Arceus. And again, the entire room the time machine is in is COVERED in hexagons- rainbow prism hexagons that constantly change and refract colors. Crazy time: The original Turo/Sada was lured into the Crater by some being- maybe from the ancient past or from the far future- so that it could make some sort of bridge to our time from when its most powerful, because as of now, its power barely escapes the crater in the form of Terra crowns. They were sort of driven mad by the same thing that visited Heath until they died. THIS THING IS AN ELDRITCH BEING OF SOME SORT. Maybe it has access to ancient records if its from the future after assimilating with technology, maybe it has clairvoyance about the far future due to being in its prime back in the ancient past- either way, there's something it wants in the present, and it NEEDED the time machine to be open.

And I don't wanna point fingers, but I think Glimmora has something to do with this. Glimmora is relatively... weak? Maybe not quite as imposing Pokemon as something like Garchomp or something to be the ace of a "Top" Champion. BUT, in Violet, this is its dex entry:

Violet: Glimmora's petals are made of crystallized poison energy. It has recently become evident that these petals resemble Tera Jewels. 

Its face also resembles the face in the crowns of each terra crown as well.

Now I'm not saying Glimmora is exactly evil- no no no, I'm merely putting it in the same boat as Cyclizard and Carbink specifically. Cyclizard, as we know, is either the descendant or ancestor to Koraidon and Miraidon, and Diancie is said to have evolved from a Carbink and then created Mega Stones. GUESS WHAT POKEMON IS SUPER FUCKING COMMON DOWN IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF AREA ZERO??? Glimmora! Where all of those crystals grow! What if this super ancient or super future hexoganal Pokemon is some sort of relative to it? Glimmora in the present just being a regular Pokemon or perhaps innocent seeming eyes for it- either way, like Cyclizard, it would become a future evolved from a past variant.

Let's go deeper. Glimmora and Glimmet have 6 flower petals- the Terra jewels are hexagonal. The petals for both are a toxic mineral- Whenever a Trainer Terrastilizes, it seems like it might be slightly painful for them or hard to control- most wince. Geeta... doesn't. She reacts to it, but not like others do, merely glancing at the Terra Orb. The player has no issues with this and seems to do it with zero discomfort.

When Geeta Terrastilizes, she says "Be the light of all trainers, Glimmora." Which... Could just be flavor text, but I feel like there could be more as well.

So now my theory is that this Hexagon Pokemon is likely some sort of eldritch being that can communicate with people via their minds- And mind you, another Rock/Poison type also could poison the minds of someone it possesses, that Pokemon being Nihilego. It could be that this Pokemon is brainwashing or sort of making people do its bidding- all to get the time machine built.

So now we're left with "Why?" and "How."

And I think we have a perhaps even bigger question

What the actual hell made that fucking crater?

and two scarier ones:

What does it want?

Could something turn the machine back on? Because we know things other than Pokeballs can travel through time thanks to AI Turo.

I think future DLC is going to be fucking WILD because holy shit, the story in this game is already freaking fantastic, and now we might havve some major eldritch conspiracy shit going on.

Or I'm probably wrong, reading way too deep into this, and GF is just gonna be like "lol who knows" like they usually do. They tend to do that a lot and just... never elaborate on things. This time just feels way too detailed and interwoven to just be left alone, though.

end Pepe Silvia time

[violetlunette]

Horrortober Day 31: “I can make you feel better.”

(Inspired by the ride Phantom Manor)

“You look wonderful, Silver,” Lilia complimented as he helped his son dress for his wedding. “You look like a Prince out of a fairy tale! Are you sure I can’t get you to ride the white stead down the aisle?” Silver felt his face warm at his father’s praise, his heart aflutter at the excitement for this day.

He couldn’t believe this day had finally come. There had been struggles along the way, especially last week when his fiance told him of a job opportunity that would require them to leave Briar Valley. Silver, however, didn’t want to leave his family, so they came to a compromise where they could have both.

“Thank you, father. I hope you’re right; I want to look my best today,” Silver replied, nervously playing with his sleeve. Lilia tutted at his words.

“Do you doubt my judgment?” he said in a mock pout. Then his expression softened. “I can’t believe my little boy is getting married today. It seems like just yesterday you were trick or treating in the woods near our cottage, practicing swordplay… now look at you. All grown up.” His voice started wistful but cracked near the end. Silver instinctively reached out but Lilia stopped him.

“No, no. I’m fine, really,” he assured the other. He wiped a stray tear from his eye before beaming. “I’m proud of you, Silver. You’ve grown to be a fine young man, and I can’t wait to see how your future unfolds.” Silver nodded as butterflies fluttered around his stomach.

“Same here,” he murmured. At this point, there was a knock at the door. “Ah! Come in…” Silver’s voice trailed off when he saw who entered. “Lord Malleus…”

A tall, pale man with eyes of green flame and hair of midnight stepped into the room, ducking so his horns didn’t scratch the door frame. In his hand, he held a tall green bottle of wine.

Lord Malleus was the Lord of Phantom Manor and had been like a brother to Silver all his life. As such, they were quite close. However, there was tension as of late. 

When Silver told Malleus that he was getting married, the latter had been furious and even tried to forbid it. It took Silver’s desperate pleas and Lilia's stern scolding to get the other to calm down. Malleus apologized and even offered the mansion as a venue. For a while, it seemed things were fine between the two. However, this past week Malleus had been distant and closed off.

Silver shifted on his feet, like a small child, as his eyes darted away. Had Malleus come to try and talk him out of the wedding again? Or something else? 

Lilia seemed just as suspicious as his eyes narrowed at the other.

“Malleus…” he said in a low tone as he stepped between the two, warning the other not to start anything. Malleus may have been the Lord of the manor, but Lilia had a great deal of influence as well, having served his family for three generations now and being the power behind the family. Malleus held up a hand.

“I’ve only come to see if Silver needs anything,” he explained calmly. “And to speak with him alone.” Lilia folded his arms.

“Haven’t you had enough ‘talks’ alone?” he scoffed, recalling the many fights and arguments that had occurred, one that nearly got Silver tossed down the stairs.

Malleus glanced away in shame, lips pressed under a frown at the accusation. Silver’s heart went out to the man. Silver knew Malleus wasn’t a violent person, but ever since they opened that gold mine on Dwarf Hills, he had been acting—odd, and far more aggressive. There were even rumors that Malleus had been possessed by an evil spirit. Even Sebek, who was the most loyal supporter of the Lord could not justify or defend all his actions as of late.

Even so, Malleus was still someone very dear to Silver, and he wouldn’t turn him away for any reason.

“It’s okay Father, I don’t mind,” Silver said to Lilia. Seeing Lilia look unsure, he repeated himself, “It’s okay.” Despite how Malleus had been acting, Silver knew him, and he knew that the Lord would never do him any serious harm. The incident on the stairs had been an accident, he was sure of it and had told Lilia just as much. Lilia pressed his lips and then sighed.

“Oh, alright! But hurry; there’s not a lot of time before the wedding starts!” he said, smoothing his green suit out. He then floated up to kiss Silver’s forehead. “I’ll see you later to walk you down the aisle, dear.” Then, after shooting Malleus a look of warning, the fae left.

The silence that soon fell after his departure was thick. Neither were men of words, so neither knew what to say. Finally, Malleus spoke;

“You look beautiful, Silver,” the Lord said softly. Green eyes were glazed over with several emotions as he looked the silver youth over.

Silver forced a smile, his pleasure at the words drowned by a sense of dread that something bad may happen. He pushed the feeling aside. “Thank you.” Malleus stepped forward, and Silver held his breath as the other reached out a hand. Gloved fingers brushed against his temple as Malleus pushed a lock of hair behind his ear.

“Are you anxious?” he asked in monotone. Silver nodded, swallowing a gulp as his senses screamed at him.

“A little,” he admitted, telling himself that the emotions he was feeling were wedding jitters and had nothing to do with his Lord. “It is my wedding day, after all. My whole life’s gonna change after this.” At the reminder Mallus’ face became as hard as stone, his body just as tense.

“Yes. You’re right,” he said, voice tight. Then his voice shifted, becoming distant. “After today, everything will change.” Silver stiffened at his words, which sounded more like a threat than a thought said aloud.

“Lord Malleus?” But before he could question the man, Malleus turned away.

“I can make you feel better.” As he said this, he held up the bottle he brought in his hand. Malleus didn’t drink, nor did anyone else who lived in the manor, but Malleus kept some liquor for guests and parties.

“I...I don’t think I should,” Silver said, feeling uneasy, his palm sweaty. “The wedding will start soon…”

“One glass won’t hurt. In fact, it’ll help calm your nerves,” Malleus insisted. “Besides, this is a way for me to apologize… for everything.” His eyes drifted to the side at this, and his grip tightened on the bottle. Seeing his anguished features, Silver ignored the warning bells in his head and nodded stiffly.

“Alright,” he agreed. “One glass should be fine.” Malleus hummed.

“One sip will be all it takes.” The Lord poured two glasses of wine, which reminded Silver of freshly spilled blood, a sight he witnessed as a child due to a mistake during sword training. Malleus had bandaged him that day. Despite the rough time they’ve had since Malleus started working in the mine, Malleus had looked after Silver his whole life. He would never do him harm.

Silver took the offered cup, and Malleus held his own above his head.

“To your—new life,” he toasted. Silver nodded and thanked him before gulping the cup, his nerves getting the best of him.

At first, he felt fine. Though the taste was off and tasted of iron and something else--

Silver stumbled into the tray beside him, spilling the contents. His world became hazy as he tried to steady himself. His breathing became hard as his throat tightened like something was strangling him.

‘What in the world…?’ “Malleus…?” Silver’s legs gave out and he fell forward. Two strong arms caught him before encircling him in a tight grip.

“I’m sorry,” Malleus' voice said softly into his ear as he stroked the moonlight hair. “But I won’t let you leave me. Not now, not ever.” Silver’s head fell against Malleus' chest.

“Malleus...” Darkness overtook Silver. 

The last sound he heard was Malleus’ heartbeat.