#partners in crime finneas

[faeriegutz]

"but isn't that what friends are for?

even if we used to be more?

like lovers,

or partners,

in crime.

when you were still mine?"

-FINNEAS (partners in crime)

hearing a clip of this song like 10 minutes ago just ripped a hole in my chest oh my goodness i am about to start crying

[mitski-leaked]

good morning aziracrow

[alicerenee]

did you look like mine? or did we look like fools tryna get away with it all?

- finneas

[iloveschiaparelli]

something they don't tell you about dating someone who plays guitar is that they have that one favorite song that they'll absentmindedly strum the guitar line/chords from and you'll get so used to hearing it and it will soothe you and make you feel like everything is ok whenever you hear it and waking up to the sound of that person doing that particular guitar line in the morning is absolutely heaven the way you can hear them in the next room and you can tell that person is totally relaxed just thinking and you sit there and you close your eyes for a moment longer and just breathe in the moment

and then you break up

and then spotify puts that song in your playlist when you least expect it and all of a sudden you're back in March 2023 waking up at 10:17 am in Rosemary Beach, FL with the light in your eyes and the sound of the guitar and the waves wafting into your ears from just around the corner through your open bedroom door and you can feel the soft covers on your skin and smell the salt in the air and you remember what it was like to be completely at peace in that moment and you miss it so desperately that your heart sinks to your chest and you're shook back to the present and you curl forward hugging yourself and gasping for breath because you desperately just want to hear that person play it again because it's the way they play it that made you feel so in love

but you can't because it's over.

[all-of-the-good-ones-are-taken]

FINNEAS | Partners in Crime (2019)

[ma1dita]

partners in crime

luke castellan x fem!dionysus!reader [the trouble!verse]

MAIN SERIES MASTERPOST

summary: few things are certain in this life as a demigod, but one thing is for sure— you can’t fight fate when it pulls you and luke castellan together, over and over again. two young people who hate the gods are more like them than they think, for better or worse. annoyances to best friends to lovers

things to know: dionysus!reader's nickname is trouble & most of these can be read as standalones!

here's a playlist (spotify & apple music links now available!)

child of dionysus headcanons!

trouble!verse moodboard 1 & moodboard 2 & college!trouble by the lovely @24kmar

deleted scenes from a different universe (AUs)

play the extended cuts (blurbs from in-between)

character study: luke castellan & trouble

any works, updates, thoughts, musings, etc about this series will be tagged under #trouble!verse !

key: fluff - ☼ angst - ☽ smut - ☆ jo's favorites - ᥫ᭡

[rewind to before] pre-established relationship

trouble always finds me (trouble!reader origin story) 1.7k ☼

The one where he could tell you were trouble from the day he met you. (You're an annoyance, but not an enemy)

entropy ☼

The one where you both blur the lines between annoyance and admiration. (the promise of becoming partners in crime)

buddy system 4.2k ☼

The one where he comes with you to rescue your younger twin brothers, Pollux & Castor. (this is as close to a real quest that Mr. D will give you--might as well take someone you trust!)

somebody's angel 4.4k ☽

The one where you convince him he’s pretty, even with a scar. (songfic - Die Alone - Finneas)

feed the fire 1.2k ☼

The one where his focus is not on spilled food, but on you. (Luke realizes this is more than playful banter)

bedtime stories 2.4k ☼

The one where night shift with him runs late, but you don’t mind at all. (the both of you have feelings you want to admit, but duty calls!)

crazy little thing 3.4k ☼

The one where he uses all his drachmas to make you smile on Valentine's Day. (the Apollo kids are better matchmakers than Aphrodite, sometimes)

anything you want 1.6k ☼

The one where you and him have your first kiss. (You've always loved teaching the story of Orpheus and Eurydice; except when your Orpheus runs away from you)

said he likes crazy 2.1k ☼ ☽

The one where only he can help you with a bad day, even if he's avoided you since your first kiss. (For being a son of Hermes, he has a way of calming your nerves)

[pause and remember us like this] established relationship

play pretend 5.1k ☼

The one where Mr. D catches you two in the act, but you and him aren’t exactly together yet. (Drunk words are sober thoughts. Your dad just wishes Luke told you instead of him)

a wish your heart makes 1.4k ☼ ☽

The one where you share dreams, burn cookies, and it still reminds him of home. (The dryads will probably ban you from the kitchen after this)

chance encounters ☼

The one where you both daydream about different lives. (You think you'd find him anywhere, by soul alone)

to see the chaos through ☽

The one where he remembers he was never a good guy, just yours. (Luke makes the ultimate deal with the devil in order to save you)

not your goddess ☽

The one where you both know the best of days eventually have to come to an end. (songfic - Goddess - Laufey)

don't blame the kids ☼

The one where you both chaperone a trip to Mount Olympus. (the Olympians are bigger gossips than you thought they'd be)

trouble's coming for you 3.7k ☼

The one where Percy meets his two favorite counselors at Camp Half-Blood. (three times Percy is oblivious (and in the way) and the time he realizes you and Luke are in love)

now that we're older 3.5k ☼

The one where he asks if you can stay the night even if all of cabin 11 makes fun of him. (Luke is tired of the routine. He just needs his girl)

if you need to be mean (be mean to me) 1.5k☽

The one where he leaves before you wake up. (songfic - I Don't Smoke - Mitski )

[fast forward until we meet again] post-tlt

lovers, or partners in crime 2.1k ☽

The one where Annabeth and Percy think you’re guilty too. (the last day leading up to Luke's betrayal)

love like a blister: the five stages of loving losing luke 4.7k ☽

The one where you learn to mourn someone even if they’re still alive. (the five stages of grief after facing a loss)

to catch a thief 3.7k ☼ ☽

The one where duty calls at Camp Half-Blood. Again. (Your reunion with Luke isn't quite what you expected.)

solipsism 5.3k ☽

The one where you finally pray to Hestia to keep your home safe, even if he's also trying to destroy it. (the four times Luke uses Backbiter to visit you during college ft. the first time you trust a god to help you)

angel with a broken wing ☼ ☽

The one where he falls from grace and still thinks of you. (the four women Luke Castellan risked it for and how it will end up killing him)

love me dry 4.5k ☼ ☽

The one where he meets you at his mother's house, though both of you didn't expect the other to be there. (a glimpse into May Castellan's idea of a perfect day)

when the curtains close (LATEST ADD) 5.3k☽

The one where you lose two people in the Labyrinth that day. All strings are cut. (Annabeth and Pollux find out the biggest difference between you and Luke.)

asking for trouble ☽

The one where Luke's final wish is to see you. (He's himself again, and all he wants is to find out if the trouble was worth it all)

as above, so below ☽ ☼

The one where you plead your case with the gods of Olympus. (The one thing the fates didn't expect was how much you'd both be like your fathers; in a way, you and Luke didn't see it coming either)

ask to be added to luke/general taglist 🥹

[thedoorsofmyheart]

“I said you look pretty, All strung out on coke. You said "it's not funny" - But it wasn't a joke. … And you won't remember, But I carried you home. You sat in the shower, While I washed off your clothes - But isn't that what friends are for. Even if we used to be more Like lovers, or partners in crime, When you were still mine.”

Partners in Crime by FINNEAS

“Have you been half asleep, And have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. Is this the sweet sound? I've heard it too many times to ignore it: It's something that I'm supposed to be. … Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection; The lovers, the dreamers, and me.”

Rainbow Connection

[llovelymoonn]

hi! hope ur doing well. can you do one on loving a friend so much, not just as a friend but as more but you’ll take whatever you get from them just as long as you get to be around them with them whatever. have a nice day :)

two girls asleep on the feve 11:30 AM, 08/07/2001 traslaviña, spain (via @madatmost) \\ lucy dacus triple dog dare \\ dolly alderton everything i know about love \\ laurent anastay ponsolle dindette & dindonneau \\ santhosh c h relation 95 \\ finneas partners in crime \\ viktor tkachenko hugs

kofi

[lucespeaks]

“ made it out of our cages

never made it back home.”

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

songs from my aspec playlist

i have a playlist that's for my aroace OCs, so here's the songs from there so y'all can vibe too, and tell me if you have recommendations that I can add :")

Can We Be Friends? - Conan Gray

All We Ever Wanted Was Everything - Bauhaus

Crush Culture - Conan Gray

It's Nice to Have a Friend - Taylor Swift

The Story - Conan Gray

I Lost a Friend - FINNEAS

It's U - Cavetown

Boys Will Be Bugs - Cavetown

Hug All Ur Friends - Cavetown

Ribs - Lorde

I Need To Be Alone - Girl In Red

Generation Why - Conan Gray

Best Friend - Conan Gray

Someone To Stay (Acoustic) - Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

The Ballad Of Love and Hate - The Avett Brothers

Partners In Crime - FINNEAS

Home - Cavetown

Talk To Me - Cavetown

Lemon Boy - Cavetown

[multifandomxreader]

Hey! My idea is a male reader x chishiya where they survive and came back to the real world. They saw each other near the vending machine. Kind of like the reunite scene of arisu and usagi but just replace arisu with chishiya and usagi with reader. But unlike arisu who doesn't remember usagi's name. Chishiya and reader just kind of remember it and like also kind of remember what their bday was. Like only the first letter of their name and only the month then ending is they just hang out and talk. THXX!

Partners in Crime

male reader x chishiya

“I said you look pretty. All strung out on coke. You said it's not funny. But it wasn't a joke”

You cradled Chishiya in your arms, his blood fusing with yours like your hearts did so many months before. Fireworks lit up Tokyo with bright colors and you felt relief wash over you. “It’s beautiful” the blond whispered. “Just like you” you replied looking into his eyes. You chuckled and his smile was brighter than any of the fireworks. Your foreheads rested on each other and you kissed him “Let’s go home.” 

“Someone I've seen before. You couldn't look any more. Like a lover or a partner in crime. Or something of mine”

You woke up with an empty feeling. You wrote it off as hunger but knew deep down it was something more important. You left your room and were met with the typical hospital smell. Your leg had been injured so you needed a crutch to help you walk. Standing before the vending machine you couldn’t decide what to get. You felt a presence behind you, turning around you apologized “I can’t decide so you can go first.” You were met with familiar eyes. A feeling of comfort bloomed in your chest. The man’s face conveyed the same emotion of recognition. “Excuse me sir, have we met before?” “I think so, surely” you answered. 

There was a silence that wanted to be filled but every word felt meaningless. You smiled and turned back to the vending machine. Picking your option: a yellow package of biscuits. Before you even realized it you handed them to the man. He looked puzzled but accepted them. “I normally don’t accept food from strangers but something tells me you’re not a stranger.” “And it comes directly from the vending machine so it’s not like I could’ve mingled with them… Chishiya?” He looked at you, really looked at you “y/n” You smiled “Yeah.”

“Do you want to share?” he held the package up. “Sure! Wanna go for a walk so maybe we can find out where we know each other from?” Chishiya nodded. You started walking or in your case kind of wobbling. He saw that you were having trouble and offered his arm. You accepted it and it just made sense, you and him.   

“I said you look pretty. All strung out on coke. You said it's not funny. But it wasn't a joke”

The sun was shining bright and it was like there was something in the air that gave you a giddy feeling. You were happy to be alive. Chishiya sat next to you on a bench and occasionally offered you a biscuit. You got up but motioned at him to stay. “Close your eyes” and he did for some reason he knew he could trust you with his life. You picked a white rose from the garden and held it in front of his face. “You can open them” Chisiya smirked and accepted your gift. “Thanks, it’s beautiful.” “Just like you” you replied like it was the most normal thing in the world.

[lebrookestore]

oceans and engines | l.jn

Pairing: Lee Jeno x reader

Themes: strangers to lovers, highschool! au, coming of age, lovers to exes, heavy angst, light fluff,  teenage romance, first love au

Warnings: profanity, mentions of food, heavy angst, underage alcohol consumption, underage substance consumption

Wc : 3.7k

Summary: Standing where the water meets the sand, you reminisce over a love you recently lost, one that you couldn’t help but let slip through your fingers like the very sand beneath your feet. 

Playlist: oceans and engines by niki, another love by tom odell, atlantis by seafret, consequences by camila cabello, meant to be by ber and charlie oriain, exile by taylor swift, emily by jeremy zucker and chelsea cutler, favorite crime by olivia rodrigo, flowers by lauren spencer smith, i should hate you by gracie abrams, partners in crime by finneas

Notes from brooke: i wrote this in a day and it’s been almost 8 months since i’ve been able to write like that, but with this short story, the moment i started, i physically could not stop. everything came out so naturally, and that is because it’s all true. i’ve changed details here and there to support continuity and such, and due to the fact that there are some things i cannot bring myself to write right now, i have omited a lot of the story. maybe one day in the future i’ll be able to write it out in its entirety or maybe i’ll delete this as well, but i wrote this fic to process my emotions, and maybe it might help someone else do the same. i hope you, dear reader, enjoy reading it<3

You liked to think you were a patient lover.

The whispering of the waves cut through what would have been your reverie, jerking your mind back into its previous state of frantic overdrive. Seafoam swept over your bare feet as the ocean water washed off the sand stuck to your soles and carried it back out, only to bring it in again the next moment.

Patience is a virtue, people would say, along with other once-meaningless sayings such as Love is blind. Maybe sometime in the past, you would have laughed at the utterings of such phrases, sure of your sense of self-control and ability to see reality for what it was.

But you had been so very virtuous.

And when your moments of patience came back occasionally, you could still imagine his smile, the way the sides of his eyes crinkled and his lips pressed together to show off his unadulterated, infectious glee. Although fleeting, the thought of it still managed to bring a shallow smile to your mouth, before its sides fell back into forced indifference, an expression you had grown to master over the past few weeks.

Moments of peace, followed by those of absolute torment - a cruel cycle that you fell victim to countless times.

Jeno had been perfect in your eyes, at least at the beginning, and almost till the very end. From the very minute you set your eyes on him the first time, it was like you knew in your bones that he would be yours. A wordless connection developed between the two of you, born out of the stolen glances from across classrooms and jittery words falling from nervous tongues - it was indisputable that there was something there to anyone who spent even two minutes around the two of you.

You recalled the first time he kissed you, on a Friday evening such as this very one, but much later into the night. Six months ago, in a secluded corner of a terrace and away from the crowd of people that consisted of the party the two of you had found yourselves amidst. You were sixteen, just as you were now, but a much more wide-eyed version of the supposedly sweet age. 

You were tipsy from your first real taste of alcohol, for the previous times you had consumed it, it had been your parents who had let you have a few sips from their glasses while joking about how you were growing up now. This was different though, this was unsupervised and unrestricted access to it, and when he told you he liked you back, you thought it was the result of the liquor in the red solo cup you had somehow misplaced.

Sobriety rushed back to you when he pressed his lips to yours though, chaste and out of the blue. You remember your eyelids fluttering shut, but shock overtaking your every muscle as you froze, only registering what had happened seconds later, when you were staring right at him in disbelief. 

A soft smile played on his lips, a soft word slipping through them and just barely reaching your buzzing ears.

“Good?”

You swallowed, wondering if it had been real with how quickly it took place. Maybe it had been a figment of your imagination.

“Yeah.”

It was the most perfect first kiss you could have asked for.

A best friend and a lover, somehow the two of you were both for each other, being able to talk and laugh about every topic that was brought about. The nerves faded with time, comfort replacing them as you got to know him better. You memorized the sound of his laughter, his stupid jokes that somehow always made you crack a smile even when you tried your hardest not to.

He once told you he loved the pissed-off look that overtook your features when you tried to get him to shut up, or if he cracked a particularly lame joke that day. You told him he was lucky you liked him with the very same look. He agreed wholeheartedly, causing a wave of heat to curl around your neck and up to your cheeks, leaving you to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from grinning too hard.

Jeno made you the happiest person in the world.

Which is why you let go of all the times he managed to make you the saddest.

Love truly did make you blind, and it was so bitterly ironic that you could only see that now. Every red flag seemed white when you looked through the rose-tinted glasses that had been bestowed upon you when he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Everything seemed so perfect, and you had wanted to keep it that way so badly.

He told you he loved you for the first time on this very beach, a little deeper into the ocean than where you currently stood where the water was up to your knees. Your blue dress stuck to your skin, hair matted down against your forehead due to the number of times he had splashed you, and yet you had the biggest grin plastered onto your face. 

The sun beat down on the two of you, and it flitted through the strands of his hair like a halo of sorts, framing his face in such a manner that he seemed like an angel. Three little words flashed through your mind, a startling revelation when it really shouldn’t have been. You had thought about it before, of course, but not so literally and not so forwardly - definitely not right when he was in front of you. 

His shirt was drenched, and he stopped, looking at your face with that soft simper of his. “You okay?”

You were perfect, and you caught your bottom lip between your teeth, wondering if it was the right time. Your parents would have laughed at you for even suggesting the notion of being in love, because you were so young and so very naive, whatever would a sixteen-year-old know about the big scary concept of love? Not that you could ever ask them such questions, since technically you weren’t supposed to be dating anyone, you weren’t allowed to be in a relationship.

And you had risked it anyway for Jeno, so surely this was worth the risk too, right?

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, averting your gaze from his for a moment, the words travelling from the safe confines of your mind to the tip of your tongue. The water suddenly felt too cold on the expanse of your skin, but scathing at the very same time as the sun dried it up. “Jeno, I…I um-”

And they got stuck right there, refusing to be pronounced out into the world as a single shred of fear made itself known. What if he didn’t feel the same way yet? What if you were moving too fast for him?”

“Y/n?”

“I…” And now you wracked your brains for something that would seem passable for the moment, to cover this up. The silence seemed much too loud, weighing down on you with every word left unsaid.

And somehow, he understood, the pause conveying what you wanted to say. He took steps towards you through the water, until he was right in front of you, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“I love you too.”

A sigh barely managed to escape you as he kissed you, hands on your waist as yours gently cradled his face. To be loved was the most beautiful thing you had ever experienced, and more so was the act of actively falling in love with Jeno Lee. It felt as if you were walking on clouds, the world resting at your fingertips.

You were so high from it all that you didn’t realize it when he was hurting you, at least not the first few times. 

Jeno had the habit of thinking too much and sometimes would isolate himself from everything - his family, his friends and even you. He’d be physically present when he had to be, like when classes were in session, but mentally he wouldn’t be there at all. He’d barely look at you sometimes, ignoring your existence almost wholly. 

He was going through something, you told yourself, and it was what his friends said as well. Apparently, it was something he did often. You didn’t mind, everyone had personal problems and you didn’t mind being the one to wait around for him, to be the one to comfort and help him through whatever he was struggling with. 

But when you asked if something was wrong, with hesitant eyes and pursed lips, he lied to your face and denied it. You could tell he was lying, it was so undeniable, but you understood. Some people had a harder time opening up than others did.

The next day it was like nothing had happened, he was talking like he normally did and kissing you like you were so used to, so you pushed the incident aside and decided not to think so much about something that may have not even been that important. You were just glad to have him talking to you again. 

When it continued to happen, it was as if you were desensitized, used to it. He’d walk away and not say a word to you, and you’d shrug and feign a smile, turning to humour to cover up the neglect that you had begun starting to feel. Three months of your relationship slipped by without you even noticing, and these happenings continued to grow, while you continued to suppress the resentment that came with them.

You didn’t want any drama, nor did you want to fight. Everything was perfect and you didn’t dare try to disrupt that perfection.

Another party and another moment of drunken bliss led to the two of you sitting on a couch, lip-locked as music blared on in the background, drowned out to you as all your focus lay upon your boyfriend, acutely aware of the smoky aftertaste that he left on your lips. Later, you found yourself barely comprehensible, but with your head in Jeno’s lap in the backseat of a cab, his fingers playing with your hair as he dropped you home.

“You think you’ll be okay? Manage to get back into your house without your parents realizing?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, or at least tried to as you looked up at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Intoxication is a funny thing, and there are so many ways one can be intoxicated. The most obvious sources are substances - alcohol, cigarettes and drugs - things that shouldn’t have been nearly as accessible as they were for teenagers. The other source was that of comfort and bliss, something that people used substances to achieve.

But you had your very own drug in the form of Jeno, and he was so very intoxicating.

And then it happened again, with him barely saying a word to you for two complete days, even forgetting to say goodbye. Usually, the two of you travelled together, but this time, he simply walked off without you, leaving you to watch his figure grow smaller the farther he travelled. 

High school shouldn’t have been this hard, you realized, and hurt began to settle in the pit of your stomach. The next day, he continued to ignore you, leaving you confused and visibly upset, something your friends noticed, and it was only when they brought it to his attention did he realize what he was doing. 

The next thing you knew, you were in his arms, wrapped in a tight hug as he whispered apologies into your hair. It felt genuine and real, contrition lacing his voice as he held you.

So you said it was okay. You said it was okay because you couldn’t bare to see the conflict in his eyes. You hugged him back and let it go, once again putting yourself on the back burner for his sake, because it was just as painful to see him looking so confused and regretful, struggling to come up with the words to explain why he had acted as he had. 

You forgave.

And it kept happening, but you loved Jeno so much that you trusted that in time, he would tell you what was bothering him. You told him time and time again that he could tell you anything and you’d always be there, waiting and ready to listen when he was ready. 

All your friends were in awe of the two of you, seemingly such an impeccable couple with no problems. Some thought the two of you would end up together with how evident the love there was. Envious of how healthy the relationship was, when in reality it was falling apart and straying away from being healthy with every damn day.

The way just talking to him could brighten up your entire day and make you forget about whatever you were previously upset about. The apparent glee that everyone could make out when he had his arm around you and the affectionate glances you took at him that went unnoticed by only him.

Jeno’s eyes had always been your weakness, expressive and almost always locked on your figure. More often than not, you would have to look away, flustered out of your mind and wishing you could hold his gaze for longer because you adored having it on you.

It was probably why it hurt even more when he would push you away and barely look at you when he did so, then return a day or two later with those pretty little apologies of his, saying he’d be better. Saying he couldn’t talk about what he went through, but then lying through those perfect teeth of his when he said if there was anyone he would tell, it would be you.

Because he never did. 

Over time, you realized you just knew facts about him - his favourite colour, the fact he was born with a good tolerance to alcohol (something you had quickly discovered at parties), common subjects he’d revert to while making jokes - but you didn’t really know him. He had pushed you away so much that he had become the one thing you had feared the most.

A stranger.

And the thing was you had let him in, given so much of yourself to him while he kept you at a distance. 

You were lonely in love.

“Jeno,” you mumbled, reaching out and intertwining your fingers with his. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” The way he lied to you so easily baffled you and you pursed your lips, stopping yourself from saying anything further and swallowing the lump in your throat, one that seemed to constantly be growing as of late. You watched while he focused his eyes on the screen of his phone, scrolling through his Instagram feed without paying much attention to a single thing on it. 

It felt as if he was using it to avoid having to interact with you, and avoid it he did, because he spoke to every single person but you that day, leaving you feeling like an absolute idiot. 

You received another apology a few days later, soft-spoken and as repentant as the last, with the very same promise of bettering himself for your sake, and it was then you started feeling a little stupid, even as you forgave him again. It felt as if you were losing little pieces of yourself now, whatever you hadn’t already given to him. 

Putting him first was something that had been ingrained in you by now, something that had come so naturally from the moment the two of you had begun dating. You welcomed him back with open arms every time he fucked up, whereas he kept his arms crossed, guarded as ever. 

The guise of perfection began to show cracks in its surface, and as hard as you tried to keep intact, it was only a matter of time before it shattered. 

You told him that it was getting too much the next time he did it, that you just wanted him to tell you what was going on in his head so you could be there for him. It was the first time he had seen you express how it hurt you, and for the first time in the four months that you had been with him, he opened up the tiniest bit.

It would be the only time. 

The last time he did it, it completely shattered you, your patience finally running out. Finally, you had managed to break through the armour he always seemed to be wearing and he had gone ahead and put it right back on. Desperation crept through, and it bled into what it truly was in the first place - an emotion you had long been suppressing for his sake.

Unadulterated anger.

The moment you let yourself feel it, it took over every fibre of your being so intensely that you could barely think straight because you were so tired of being constantly alienated from the one person you loved the most in the world. 

This time though, his apologies meant nothing to you, for they had been reduced to simply empty shells constituted of letters strung together that you had heard innumerable times in the past. After all, there were only so many times you could believe what someone says before the words turned meaningless with the sheer number of times you had heard them before. 

When the anger faded, it was replaced by sorrow, the realization that you no longer believed in him. You loved him, of course you did, but not in the same, innocent way you once did. Now, your love was tainted and burned with how much he had hurt you- months upon months of damage that you had tried your best to put aside for him. 

And he had never ever considered how you felt.

Inherently you knew he was trying, but nothing had ever changed and you knew that you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself. You had given far too much of yourself and had lost a lot of who you were along the way and with how much he had pushed you away, you just couldn’t let him in again. 

And as agonizing as it was to see the tortured look in his glasses when you told him the same, no matter how many times he begged you to try to let him fix it, you knew what you had to do.

“I love you Y/n,” he said, voice breaking, as he reached out to try and touch you, only for you to take a step away from him, unable to meet his eyes but for an entirely different reason this time. You couldn’t look at him without second-guessing your decision about what you had to go through for your own sake.

You couldn’t say it back, but not because you were scared. The lump in your throat had expanded so much that it prevented you from even whispering the words. 

The conversation ended with you walking away from him, asking for time and space. You had fought for almost six months to keep your relationship alive, doing everything in your limited power as just a teenager hopelessly in love with a boy who couldn’t give her what she needed no matter how much he tried. 

You decided to put yourself first and be selfish this time and let him go, letting a piece of your heart leave with him in the process. Those sad eyes of his would forever be imprinted in your memory, haunting you for the days that followed with all the things left unknown about the boy you were so completely lovesick for.

Having to keep it together in front of your family bore fruit to sleepless nights filled with tears and staring at your ceiling, thinking back to when you’d have his arms around you in your bed as you cuddled into him when your parents weren’t around and missing him.

It all led you to where you were right now, standing in between the sky and the sand, breathing in the salt air. Now, you were almost seventeen, staring out into the limitless and unpredictable ocean and taking comfort in its constant ebb and flow. 

You were still so young, with so many more loves to experience waiting for you. Just as the ocean recovered from its tides, you too would make it past the crash that followed the initial fall for you. You knew that some would probably think it ridiculous of you to hold on so tightly to a boy you loved when you were just sixteen.

But you would know. You would know of the boy that made you laugh on your darkest days and held your hand underneath the desks, how he kissed you and took care of you, and how he told you he loved you in the very waters that you stood and took comfort in now. You would know what loving Jeno Lee felt like, even if it had been for just six months, and you would choose to remember the good.

Six months of fragmented and yet unsullied bliss, a love so fierce that it would always leave a mark. A love you had fought for and had perhaps lost the war, but you would walk out of the battlefield knowing you tried.

And you’d never know if you had made the right decision or if you’d regret it down the line but as you peered into the horizon, memories of your first magnificent love dancing about, you knew you didn’t regret even a moment spent with him, for they had constituted for some of the happiest moments of your life. Uncertainties crept into your thoughts, but you were sure of one thing as you whispered your last profession of affection to the wind- that you’d be alright.

“I love you too.”

fin.

[abisbookshelf]

100+ songs that remind me of kiribaku/bakushima: the ship between eijiro kirishima + katsuki bakugo from my hero academia (anime)

best friend - rex orange county

sunflower - rex orange county

just a friend - jordi

pluto projector - rex orange county

i love you so - the walters

falling for ya - from the "teen beach movie" - grace phipps

line without a hook - ricky montgomery

mr. loverman - ricky montgomery

the only exception - paramore

devil town - cavetown

falling for u - peachy! & mxmtoon

best friend - laufey

let me down slowly - alec benjamin

anxiety - blackbear & FRND

training wheels - melanie martinez

like or like like - miniature tigers

would you be so kind - dodie

i like me better - lauv

nothing - bruno major

paper rings - taylor swift

puppy princess - hot freaks

i wanna be your boyfriend - hot freaks

let's fall in love for the night - FINNEAS

every summertime - NIKI

cloud 9 - beach bunny

wish you were gay - billie eilish

wish you were sober - conan gray

the king - conan gray

sports - beach bunny

say you won't let go - james arthur

fight or flight - conan gray

are you bored yet? - wallows & clairo

heather - conan gray

cruel summer - taylor swift

comfort crowd - conan gray

lemon boy - cavetown

apocalypse - cigarettes after sex

can i call you tonight? - dayglow

this is home - cavetown

everybody talks - neon trees

someone to you - BANNERS

i love you - billie eilish

this side of paradise - coyote theory

mystery of love - sufjan stevens

always forever - cults

silence - marshmello & khalid

safe & sound (taylor's version) - taylor swift, joy williams & john paul white

safe and sound - capital cities

sweet tooth - cavetown

astronomy - conan gray

me and my husband - mitski

my love mine all mine - mitski

as the world caves in - sarah cothran

strawberries & cigarettes - troye sivan

pierre - ryn weaver

eyes closed - ed sheeran

perfect - ed sheeran

photograph - ed sheeran

can't help falling in love - elvis presley

talk to me - cavetown

we fell in love in october - girl in red

hey there delilah - plain white t's

crush culture - conan gray

for him. - troye sivan & allday

make you mine - PUBLIC

loving is easy - rex orange county & benny sings

i hear a symphony - cody fry

daylight - taylor swift

wildest dreams (taylor's version) - taylor swift

juliet - cavetown

this is what falling in love feels like - JVKE

this is what heartbreak feels like - JVKE

what was i made for? - from "barbie" - billie eilish

reflections - the neighbourhood

oh no! - MARINA

cabo - ricky montgomery

partners in crime - set it off & ash costello

it took me by surprise - maria mena

seventeen - MARINA

this december - ricky montgomery

never ever getting rid of me - waitress original broadway cast

guys dont like me - it boys!

deja vu - olivia rodrigo

drivers license - olivia rodrigo

1 step forward, 3 steps back - olivia rodrigo

bad idea right? - olivia rodrigo

teenage dream - olivia rodrigo

meant to be yours - ryan mccartan, barrett wilbert weed & michelle duffy

verbatim - mother mother

lovers rock - TV girl

lover - taylor swift

freaks - surf curse

electric love - BØRNS

sure thing - miguel

ribs - lorde

sofia - clairo

boys will be bugs - cavetown

i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red

people watching - conan gray

as the world caves in - matt maltese

two birds - regina spektor

i can't handle change - roar

cardigan - taylor swift

pretty boy - the neighbourhood

cigarette daydreams - cage the elephant

history hates lovers - oublaire

numb little bug - em beihold

where's my love - SYML

dark red - steve lacy

heart to heart - mac demarco

chamber of reflection - mac demarco

for the first time - mac demarco

my kind of woman - mac demarco

kids - current joys

christmas kids - roar

10 things i hate about you - leah kate

boyfriend - dove cameron

my blood - twenty one pilots

my blood - ellie goulding

drumming song - florence + the machine

you belong with me (taylor's version) - taylor swift

sparks fly (taylor's version) - taylor swift

enchanted (taylor's version) - taylor swift

i knew you were trouble (taylor's version) - taylor swift

all too well (10 minute version - taylor's version) - taylor swift

don't blame me - taylor swift

gorgeous - taylor swift

bags - clairo

open arms - SZA & travis scott

all i wanted - paramore

the great war - taylor swift

i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys

afterglow - taylor swift

you get me so high - the neighbourhood

runaway runaway - lullaby layla & keevin

the night we met - lord huron

watercolor eyes - from "euphoria" - lana del rey

late night talking - harry styles

shameless - camila cabello

those eyes - new west

here with me - d4vd

golden hour - JVKE

what a time - julia michaels & niall horan

we belong together - ritchie valens

can't take my eyes off you - frankie valli

i like you (a happier song) - post malone & doja cat

sweater weather - the neighbourhood

K. - cigarettes after sex

out of my league - fitz and the tantrums

until i found you - stephen sanchez & em beihold

loverboy - a-wall

set fire to the rain - adele

mrs magic - strawberry guy

je te laisserai des mots - patrick watson

rises the moon - liana flores

last dance - scratch massive & maud geffray

crush - cigarettes after sex

trust fund baby - why don't we

hooked - why don't we

jenny (i wanna ruin our friendship) - studio killers

not another song about love - hollywood ending

the red means i love you - madds buckley

i won't say (i'm in love) - disney cast from "hercules"

first love/late spring - mitski

love grows (where my rosemary goes) - edison lighthouse

stereo hearts - gym class heroes & adam levine

did i mention - cast from "descendants"

bad romance - lady gaga

sunsetz - cigarettes after sex

still into you - paramore

i kissed a boy - jupither

bang bang (new version) - K'NAAN & adam levine

dress - taylor swift

midnight rain - taylor swift

baby i'm yours - arctic monkeys

falling - chase atlantic

say yes to heaven - lana del rey

cry - cigarettes after sex

sweet - cigarettes after sex

my type - saint motel

they don't know about us - one direction

something just like this - the chainsmokers & coldplay

no one compares to you - jack & jack

yellow hearts - ant saunders

if we have each other - alec benjamin

hey stupid, i love you - JP saxe

if i saw him, i'd still kiss him - mccafferty

i love you like an alcoholic - the taxpayers

i am falling for you - loving caliber

dream boy - waterparks

disaster - conan gray

@ my worst - blackbear

golden - harry styles

start a riot - BANNERS

i love you - woodkid

maniac - conan gray

there is more in the spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/08jACx5UDxnojbTv4I5NR0

if you have any other recommendations for songs please let me know and they will go straight into the playlist. also, please don't be disrespectful and this is a reminder that these are my opinions, i hope that you enjoy the playlist!! ❤️🧡💋

[ma1dita]

somebody's angel

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 4.4k

summary: (pre-established relationship) descriptions of gore/injury The one where you convince him he’s pretty, even with a scar. The aftermath of helping Luke heal from Hesperides. (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader)

a/n: lyrics from ‘die alone’ by finneas <3 this was originally titled angel face, devilish smile in the masterpost but much has changed since then! lil reminder Mr. D’s kids have violet eyes and god this has heavy foreshadowing; as usual, scream at me in the comments and feel free to reblog :)

(posted 2/25/24, edited!)

—

[ i wasn't lookin' for you || but you found me, you found me || just as the smoke filled the room in the valley ]

Isn’t it funny that when your dreams finally come true it's never in the way you want?

You’ve decided that if you ever make it out of here alive you’re never stepping another foot in San Francisco. There are so many other places to vacation, ones closer to home and without hundred-headed dragons. Granted, the city is beautiful with its winding roads, bustling crowds and oh, Annabeth would love the architecture—but you weren’t really able to admire much as you ran down the marble stepping stones leading to Luke’s body splayed across the grass.

Holy shit, he better not be dead. 

He’s always had a habit of running off without telling you, and well, this was the farthest thing from a vacation. Luke was so sure he’d make his father proud by getting sent off on a solo quest by Hermes—his ultimate test for glory. Everyone revered him and applauded his charisma and confidence in getting these damn golden apples, but staring at them now from afar didn’t convince you of the appeal. Putrid smoke fills your lungs as you cough, the sensation like acid rain grappling your senses as you watch Luke slash his sword toward Ladon one final time before toppling over like a shot bird. You’re crawling to reach him, using your jacket to wipe at your watering eyes and the monster’s shadow envelops both of your hunched forms as you shake him awake. It can’t end like this for him, you won’t let it happen.

This is not a hero’s death, but an idiot’s.

“Luke!” you scream, “if you’re dead, I’ll fucking kill you!”

There’s so much blood covering him that you wonder if he has any left in his body. It pools around his slashed back, making the grass around him dark with his life force. For a moment, you worry you’re too late. Ladon roars above you, piercing your eardrums as you stifle a whimper and bury your face in his chest—but if you stay here with him and accept your fate, the both of you will be dead in minutes. You’ve never been one to give up, and neither has he.

As his vision darkens, he realizes you’re holding onto him for dear life, Luke's sword in your dominant hand and his dead weight against the other. It’s almost as if you need him more than he needs you, and the thought is comforting in comparison to the molten hot pain running through his body. The wafting aroma of the golden apples continues to permeate the air, reflecting his deepest desires. Desperation lured him to the dragon and its protected fruit, and for it, he almost met his death. Luke was so close to glory that he could smell it–he imagined it smelling like burnt cookies and the clothes of an ancient traveler. Salvation was supposed to be crisp and light in his mouth, but now it feels like biting into shards of glass. Through the garden’s miasma, his legs wobble in your embrace as you try to inch away from certain doom.

“Trouble? You’re not supposed to be here,” he croaks, “can’t see me like this…Gotta..”

Luke’s words come out in a wheeze as the bloodied hand he lays on your shoulder sticks to your shirt. 

“I’m here, I’m here…”

Fire licks at your heels, your blood almost boiling in your veins as you try to pull him to look at you, but still he’s determined, almost knocking you off balance as his arms reach towards the tree in visions of glimmering gold and glory. Through his one good eye, he can see you lunge at the dragon, swinging the bronze like it’s an extension of yourself, and then you scream, dropping the weapon as the sizzle of singed flesh echoes through the air. 

You’re hurt, and it’s because of him.

Steadily losing control over his body, he decides to make one last move as life seeps out of him in steps: first his hearing–he watches you say something he can’t make out; what’s left of his blood spills out of his mouth until he chokes it out in a gurgle. 

“Luke, we have to leave! We’re going to die here!”

Luke sways closer to the dragon even as you try your hardest to pull him away from the tree but by the gods, he’s stubborn, wrath emanating from his injured body like an unwelcome friend. If this is his last action on Earth, it will be to protect you. Once he finds it again, he’s convinced his fingertips are soldered onto the hilt of his sword---losing the sensation of his burnt fingertips as he slashes at the one thing between him and his father’s love. Ladon recoils, sharp claws scrambling back to the tree as your hands meld into his wounded form like clay. Luke easily misses the bloodied claw that remains at your feet.

Please, he prays to anyone who will listen, I’m right fucking here! Don’t let me fail, PLEASE. Luke’s brain is still muddled with the magic, but for some reason, his mind has never been clearer. The scent of the air shifts into that of raspberries and soft linen as his body staggers back into the grass. His vision darkens in a vignette, encircling him as he looks away from the golden fruit and into your violet irises, and then, nothing.

[ you asked me, "do you wanna die alone, or watch it all burn down together?” || I said I'd rather try to hold on to you forever ]

Luke wakes up before you, though by the looks of his bandaged body and the pounding in his head, he must have been out for a while. You’re asleep on the floor of the sleeper train facing away from him using your backpack as a pillow and your legs curled underneath you like a purring cat. The purple zippo lighter your dad gave you is nestled against your foot and he uses it to ward off the cabin you’re in, in hopes of continuing whatever illusion you put on to get his mangled body onto public transportation without any questions. The perks of being children of mischief. He flicks the lighter on and off, blood seeping through his bandaged fingers. If this is what he looks like after your stock of ambrosia… he can’t help but be scared to see what’s underneath.

His eyes blink to adjust to the darkness of the carriage, pupils unfocused from an obvious concussion. The water canister falls over with a loud clang, jolting you awake.

“Fuck…” you mumble, turning over to look at him drenched in melancholy and moonlight, “Are you okay? I think I have a bit more ambrosia, let me—” 

He grabs your hands tightly, so much that it hurts him.

“You shouldn’t have been there.”

Shaking your head, you sigh. This was never going to be easy, what comes after. He’d been knocked out for two days, screaming in his sleep. He’ll never know what you’ve been through together to get on this train, and you’re not sure of what he remembers.

“But I was. And we’re alive.”

Tossing his hands aside, you rummage through your pack for the little ambrosia you have left, giving him a piece and almost forcing it into his mouth. If he doesn’t want you to be gentle, he can take you tough. There’s no way out of this where you let him hurt himself more, after that.

“You used my sword. I’ve never seen you use a sword before,” he scoffs, swaying in his seat. Luke’s confused above all his other emotions right now, trying to rub at his eyes until you pull his hand away. There’s a bandage that spans across the right side of his face.

That’s why it’s so dark. 

“I usually don’t, but we were up against a dragon, dumbass. We’re lucky we’re not dead. I’m grateful that you’re not dead,” you say in a strained voice, holding both of his hands. He wonders why you sound like you’re hurting too, until his good eye falls upon your open rucksack.

“Are the apples in there? We gotta meet my dad,” Luke slurs, and you bite your lip in frustration, “he’s gonna be proud of me. I know it.”

“There’s no apples, Luke. We’re going home.”

He cringes, his back hitting the wall as he looks at you like you’ve told him you've eaten them or something. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he sneers, his voice getting louder now as he says your name. Luke pushes your hands away, kicking his feet up to his chest, and you know the actions have reopened some of his wounds. He’s burning up again, from both the fever and your touch, and you take a deep breath to hold back a sob. Your emotions will only amplify his, you remind yourself.

“Luke, you failed your quest. There was no way you would have succeeded.” 

Your words hit him like bullets, and he shakes his head, clawing his way through his bandages like he wants to escape from his own skin. To escape from the fate of being the pride and joy of Hermes. You wrap yourself around him through his pain and yours as he thrashes, though these wounds transcend the physical, and the scars will forever run deep.

“I fucking hate you!” he sobs, “you weren't supposed to be there! You were only going to get hurt.” 

Tears mix with blood as you hold him, hands clenched in the shirt on his back at his misplaced anger.

“So fucking stupid!”

His body shakes with rage as he pounds at whatever he can touch, and you take the blows until finally, you yell exasperatedly, “It was a suicide mission, Luke! Get it through your fucking head!”

You push him away to grab his face and make him look at you. He realizes your hand is bandaged when it touches the smooth side of his face. It’s about as wide as a hilt and covers your palm.

“ Your dad sent you there to die. I wasn’t gonna let that happen,” you grit, and he won’t stop crying until he mutters something under his breath.

“I’m so stupid. Why didn’t you just leave me there?”

A fat tear rolls down your cheek mimicking the ripped skin on his newly exposed face. You haven’t had much practice with emotions this strong and only the gods know how desperate you feel right now as you pull out more bandages from the bag and will away his hysteria as best as you can. Until finally, his eyes flutter closed and you help him lay on his side.

You never pray, especially to your dad and especially not fucking Hermes, but you’re already in enough trouble for leaving without telling anyone—so perhaps they’re listening extra carefully. Perhaps D will answer your Iris message too and get you out of this mess. Perhaps Hermes, the god of travelers will at least get you both home safely. It's the least he can do after everything you and Luke have been through. Pulling out a drachma from your coin purse, you realize two things: your fingers are glued together with Luke’s blood, and he hasn’t let go of your other hand.

“The only person I’d get bloody for is you, Castellan,” you sigh, gently leaning against the bed he made and now lies in.

Only your dad answered.

[ this was the place i grew up, now it's ashes to ashes || memories fillin' my cup, it comes in flashes || but when it passes and i see your eyes || i know there's nothin' i'll ever find better ]

You’ve been roommates in the basement of the Big House for about a week and a half now, and cabin fever was making the both of you a bit stir-crazy. At first, he wouldn’t talk to you, simmering in his personal pool of misery, until he ripped his stitches open one night and you had to tend to them since your father was dead asleep. The slashes on his back looked like slots for angel wings. Chiron and Mr. D tended to the both of you since Luke insisted on not having anyone else see what’s become of him. You’re certain everyone thinks you’re dead. Peeking through the window, you wish you could see the blaze left behind in your absence. With Luke on his quest, you were down a counselor in charge of the busiest cabin; with you missing—well you’re surprised everything hasn’t gone up in flames. You ask your dad to bring Annabeth to come see you, and when Luke argues, you clarify that she’s your guest.

He’s still not talking to you, even as Annabeth speaks loudly through the privacy curtain that Chiron set up so you both don’t fight. Your bickering kept your dad up one too many times and he was about to send the both of you into induced comas.

“It’s like the two of you came back and something’s different,” Annie says inquisitively, eyes flickering to the dusty curtain between your beds. She’s made herself comfortable at your feet and stolen your pillow to rest over her lap.

“This doesn’t feel any different. Your brother’s still an asshole, we’re just trauma bonded now,” you say with a lazy grin, and you think you hear him curse you to Tartarus under his breath. You shrug when she rolls her eyes, dark braided hair splaying over her shoulders.

“You came back friends, then,” she hypothesizes, and Annabeth is always right, but you hesitate now, rubbing the thick skin on your palm.

“Are you saying we weren’t? What a surprise…” you mumble, before you nudge her to try again.

“You saved his life,” Annabeth whispers, leaning in closer like that was a secret to keep, and even if Luke can’t hear it, you shake your head.

“Honestly, he saved mine.”

The silence hangs between you two, the both of your eyes falling upon the dragon claw sitting on the side table partially covered by the curtain.

“I’m glad you two are back,” she says softly, reaching for your hand and tracing your scarred palm.

“We’re glad to be back, even if it doesn’t seem like it,” you giggle, pulling her into a hug before you joke, “Can’t believe I left a 10-year-old in charge. Bet the other counselors hated that.”

The curtain rips open, grating against the pole, and with one look from Luke, Annabeth gets up to give you two privacy.

“We? Since when were you two a we?” she mutters, and with the little strength he has, he softly ruffles her head and shoves her to the doorway. After she leaves, he looks at you tentatively, bandaged hands fidgeting with his blanket until you take the hint and make your way over to his bed. Slotting yourself underneath his arm, you settle against him with a sigh and the weight of you against his ribs is comforting despite the ache. Most of your wounds are healed on the surface level now, and soon it’ll be time to get back to your normal routines. That’s the difficult part about all of this, Luke thinks—hoping everyone just brushes his blunder under the rug and wishing that everything stays the same.

But Annabeth is always right, and there are a lot of things that have changed since he left for San Francisco. He can feel it even if his fingerprints won’t ever completely heal, he can see it even through his scarred eye, and he just knows by the way you press a soft kiss to his healing cheek, breathing hot air that gives him goosebumps. This is his reality, a blessing to have after his brush with death even if it wasn’t exactly what he expected. Though it wasn’t your intention, there’s glory in the quirk of your smile as you murmur, “Honestly? Between me and you, I hate this place.”

[ i think i'd rather die alone, together || ‘cause i know that i will love you, and i'm not letting go ]

Luke thought it was bad enough for everyone to coddle him after you both emerged from the darkness of the basement, but to be honest—it’s worse that everyone’s being fake about it. At least with pity, they aren’t trying to hide away what they truly feel. He’s been hiding away in the armory for several days now, trying to tinker away at random things though it’s not his expertise, and the Hephaestus kids are too polite to push him out. Anything to make his weapon swifter and precise—but deep down he knows there’s nothing wrong with the damn sword. It doesn’t feel the same in his hands anymore, badly scarred and out of practice. He actually struggled sparring with Chris, though his brother was kind enough to act like it was a draw. 

A groan escapes him as he almost hammers his thumb. Flexing his fingers, he looks at Ladon’s scale in the light of the little fires surrounding him. Its copper gleam was forever forged into a pendant that shouldn’t have taken him that long to fashion. Previously good at everything, Luke was suddenly down to limited talents. 

For fuck’s sake.

“Luke? Hey, I've been trying to find you everywhere!”

Your head pops in through the doorway, holding a box of miscellaneous things as you skirt around the armory, trying to not bump into other campers’ work.

“Hey…”

You nod your head and place the box in his lap, the necklace still clenched in his grasp as he stands up to help you carry it wherever you want to go. You’ve been asking him for help with a lot of things lately, and though it’s mostly menial tasks he knows you can be done with in a snap, he often uses you as a chance to escape from prying eyes and hushed whispers. With you, there are no false pretenses or bluffs to save his ego. 

It’s just you.

He helps you carry the box across the camp and to the attic of the Big House, the wooden stairs creaking under your heavy footsteps as you pick things out of the box and organize them to be placed around the room. Hundreds of memorabilia and war spoils decorate the walls as you hum a tune under your breath. This time it’s a song from Wicked, you tell him and he gets so lost in your story about two witches being changed for good that he almost misses you placing Ladon’s claw out for display. His hand reaches out for yours and you both stand there in the dust of completed quests and found glory.

“That doesn’t belong here,” he sighs, and you let him run his rough fingers over the obsidian.

“It’s a feat of strength. Whether you recognize it or not, you should be proud of it. Even Heracles couldn’t—”

He interrupts you, “Why? Why did you follow me there?”

You lick your lips and his eyes trace the movement because he’s scared to look up and see the truth. You’d never lie to him. The both of you are too good at lying to even try it with each other.

“Tell me why. Did you think I couldn't do it?”

You tilt his chin up with your dominant hand, and for the first time in a while, your eyes truly meet. You speak slowly as if begging him to understand the words that come from your mouth. He needs to understand that this was not his fault. Fate dealt him with bad cards, and he did his best.

“What I thought was that it was unfair…what your dad was asking of you. You and I both know that it was,” you explain, “ I was worried about you. You might not agree with me but that’s how I felt.”

Luke tries to argue, you can feel it in the way he quirks his brow and your finger covers his lips to hush him. 

“Nuh-uh. You can’t take that away from me so shut it. I’m already grounded and shoveling horse shit for the next few months, angelface.”

Still, you’re smiling, and he wonders why.

“What did you just call me?"

“Come on, you know you’re still pretty, right? Everyone at camp thinks the whole rugged hero thing is kind of hot,” you giggle, poking his stomach. He rolls his eyes, shoving you away from him until your hip hits the corner of the table.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Ouch, that hurt, asshole!”

Holding your hip with your hand, you lurch towards him, dominant hand pressing against his torso— and you can feel his laughter rumble from underneath your fingers like static shocks. You’ve missed the sound like you’ve missed breathing easily.

“I thought it was angelf— what’s this?”

Luke finally notices the thick raised skin on your palm in the shape of the hilt of his sword. It’s seared onto you forever.

“You’re thinking too hard again. I’m okay,” you mumble, closing your hand around his, “we’re okay. These scars are just souvenirs. They’re a part of us now, but they don’t define us.”

His hands drop to his pocket with a sigh as he looks to the floor.

“Hey. Bold question, but do you think I’m ugly because of it?”

Luke’s head whips up and his eyebrows furrow in disbelief—that’s the stupidest thing you’ve said all day, and he usually likes to keep count to piss you off.

“Trouble, of course no—”

“Then you better believe me when I say you’re pretty. Not perfect, thankfully, your ego needed to get knocked down a peg but you still have the face of an ang—”

He shoves the necklace he tinkered into your scarred hand and your eyes glitter with admiration.

“Not perfect, but pretty,” he swallows, as the both of you look at the dented copper scale, shining in the sunlight. Your hand reaches out to cup his scarred cheek, smiling in silent thanks because there’s nothing either of you can say sufficient and fitting for the worth you see in each other--- even if the gods beg to differ. Luke turns his head gently, pressing his lips against your rough palm and the warmth it brings simmers down to where your spirit meets your bones.

[ if the sky darkens above you, i'll stay by your side in the afterglow || i wasn't lookin' for you, but you found me ]

“I thought we were out here for sword training,” he mumbles, following you closely through the dirt path. It was after dinner and you dragged him by the hand towards the camp boundaries. You’re both skipping out on the bonfire and sing-a-long, but well… they can all fend for themselves for a few hours.

“Like I'd dare teach an old dog new tricks. Ladon or not you’re still the best of us. No one would dare wield a sword against you, oh mighty Luke Castellan!” you say mockingly.

Being out here alone and so close to curfew is a risk you’re willing to take, and you know your dad’s running out of so-called punishments so literally who cares? So you stole the car too. You both stand in front of it now as you unlock it and toss him the keys. Luke fumbles and almost drops them as he looks at you bemusedly.

“Shouldn’t we be back before sundown?”

He settles into the driver’s seat easily, testing the different functions as you watch his eyes move quickly with wonder. The car rolls forward a few inches before nestling against a grassy patch and it makes you raise an eyebrow.

“You scared? If a hellhound comes to get us, maybe you’ll be brave enough to hit the gas. You drive like my grandpa and he’s long dead.”

He scoffs, tapping the gas pedal almost reluctantly before you reach out and fix his rearview mirror. Apollo’s job is almost over for the day, light fading into pinks and purples and though he’s meant to figure out how to get the car onto the road smoothly, Luke can’t help but be transfixed by the image of you framed in the soft light. You are almost one with the sky, sun-kissed and as real as a dream come true. He wonders why people always wish for things they can’t have when everything they need is often right in front of them. Maybe things have changed indeed.

“You can’t say stuff like that.”

He flicks the radio on to something he thinks you like, and he grins when in between your laughter you start vocalizing with the strum of the guitar.

“Why not?” you ask, with a gleam of mischief in your eye. It catches him off guard at how natural you seem when you’re breaking rules. He finds himself wishing you did it more often, then realizes you’ve broken a lot of rules for him lately. Mental reminder to apologize to Mr. D eventually.

“It’s bad luck,” he says stupidly, and it makes you laugh. You’re both bobbing your head to the sound of Radiohead playing softly on the speakers.

“Okay son of Hermes, bestowed with the greatest luck in the world, how’s that going for you?”

You speak before you think, as you often do—and for a split second, you’re afraid you’ve overstepped an unspoken boundary. Luke’s face is frozen as he thinks, but he ends up just rolling his eyes. With a deep breath, you continue.

“Besides, I’m sure with the shit we pull up here, Hades is keeping our spots warm for when we decide we need it. I’ll just pray harder I guess.”

There you go saying we again.

“You never fucking pray,” he laughs, pushing your face back towards the window and you swat at his arms playfully. You think he’d make fun of you forever if you told him about how you cried to both your dads that night in the sleeper train. A tight smile crosses your face as you tease, “That’s why I let you do it for me, kiss ass. Now drive.”

He hesitates, bandaged hands flexing over what to do next before you grab his hand over the console and gently rest it on the gear shift.

“We’ll get there, angelface,” you smile softly. The light from the waning sunset makes your eyes sparkle in the dim light of your dad’s old car. Luke tightens his hand over the lever and shifts the gear to drive, steadily moving forward.

“We’ll get there,” he repeats, nodding his head like he’s trying to convince himself. 

Healing isn’t a process that feels like flying down the I-95 with the wind in your hair and no speed limit to abide by. Your hand drops toward the leather console but he grabs it again with the intention of not letting go, because quite frankly, he can’t do this without you. And you’ll ride with him through Farm Road and any other thing that comes your way, even if he hits another pothole or his eyes stray from the road—because you said you’d do it together.

With everything in him, he believes you.

—

Let me look at your face and see a heaven worth having. -Ruth Awad

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[remuslupinlovebot]

And when the cops broke down our door

And held us both against our floor

Did we look like lovers or partners in crime?

Did you look like mine?

an AU in which Sirius and Remus got to die in each others arms, in love and satisfied.