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#please don’t give up
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strawb3rrysanrio · 3 months
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this storm will pass
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eeriebpd · 6 months
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Here’s some awareness on thought patterns/behaviour and what is reality for us abuse victims at the hands of family members.
We wake up everyday wishing all of this would be some sort of sick and twisted dream and that everything will be okay and we’ll feel safe around others and also safe within ourself
But no, this is reality, this is not a sick and twisted dream, and we do not feel safe in any way. Nothing is okay and will ever be okay
IT IS REALITY
We think to ourselves “Is it me?, is it my fault this happened?” “Maybe I should’ve just kept quiet” “I don’t blame them for doing that, I’m pathetic”
WE BLAME OURSELVES FOR THE ABUSE WE HAVE EXPERIENCED/ STILL EXPERIENCE
A lot of us get bitter (not everyone) and we lose hope in people and shut ourselves away, building a wall between us
THIS IS BECAUSE THE ABUSE WAS AT THE HANDS OF SOMEONE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF US AND LOVE US. WE FEEL WE CANNOT TRUST ANYONE AND HATE EVERYTHING !
For some of us, a lot of hateful and immoral thoughts occur towards that person such as “I want to hit them so bad, they make me so angry and feel so worthless” “I want to steal from them !” “ I want to make them feel so much emotional pain” “I hope they drop dead”
THIS IS BECAUSE THE ABUSE WE HAVE EXPERIENCED MAKES US HATE THAT PERSON AND WISH FOR THEM TO TASTE THEIR OWN MEDICINE !. BUT WHAT COMES WITH THAT IS ALSO HUGE GUILT FOR EVEN THINKING LIKE THAT !! WE DO NOT WANNA THINK LIKE OUR ABUSERS ! BUT WE KNOW THE TREATMENT WE GET IS NOT RIGHT AT ALL AND WE WISH FOR THEM TO FEEL OUR PAIN. WE DONT WANT TO BE ANYTHING LIKE THEM AND WE GET SCARED THAT ONE DAY WE WILL BE ANYTHING LIKE THEM !
Some of us have nightmares of the worst graphic/traumatic situations happening, we wake up hyperventilating, crying and to put it simply.. we want to die, we can’t take it anymore.. we don’t get peace.
THIS IS BECAUSE WE DO NOT FEEL SAFE AND UNCERTAINTY LOVES TO BURY ITSELF INTO OUR HEADS AND REMIND US THAT MAYBE ONE DAY OUR NIGHTMARES WILL COME TRUE !!
We do not trust people and push people away when they are genuine people who just want to be apart of your life
THIS IS BECAUSE WE NOW QUESTION EVERYONES MOTIVES. WE HAVE BEEN DECEIVED MULTIPLE TIMES BY SOMEONE WHO WE THOUGHT WOULD TAKE CARE OF US.. SO WE THINK EVERYONE IS CAPABLE OF USING US, ABUSING US AND IS SIMPLY THERE TO RUIN OUR LIVES !! WE ARE SCARED !!
I could keep writing everything that comes to mind that I experience as well as lots of people, but what I’m trying to get at is that all of this and MORE is what a lot of abuse victim’s experience and that being abused is VERY real and our state of mind while being victims of abuse IS NOT OUR FAULT.. the abuser is to blame.
Please never think it’s your fault your head is this way, your abuser did this to you and they know that, that’s what they were aiming for, to ruin you.
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sanjiswetcigarettes0 · 5 months
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Teaching someone how to survive their shitty life like how I survived mine, trying for them to not want to die, and teach them that life is worth living, is just…. brutal. I will always be there for them, and always try for them because that’s what I did for myself when life gave me no one to do that. Life is worth living. You are worth of everything. You are loved.
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kabl00eypie · 6 months
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watching someone you love fall into depression<<<<<<<<
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finding-samanthya · 4 months
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I can’t wait to meet my higher self
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instagram
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If there really is a God, you help my grandma NOW! I don’t want her to be sick, I don’t want her to have bad lungs or trouble breathing. I want her to live, I want her to be healthy, I want her to fight back. She always told me No wasn’t an acceptable answer and she’s acting like it is. I need her to stay here with us because it would be too much of a change if she’s not here. And as much as she has changed because of her health and because she’s angry and annoys me sometimes, she’s still my grandma.
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loveinlove · 1 year
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sending love to everyone feeling lonely and suicidal ♡ ♡ ♡
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napping-sapphic · 4 months
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PLEASE make a blanket and pillow bed on the floor with me PLEASE get distracted midway through and start a pillow fight PLEASE lay down on it and watch movies on our laptop and cuddle with me PLEASE kiss me goodnight and sleep with me there PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE—
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zee-rambles · 1 year
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Save Rottmnt
@nickelodeon
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bakudekublogblog · 4 months
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it’s so funny to see all these jokes about izuku lashing out at katsuki/finally punching katsuki/beating him up finally for all the stuff he did to him when canonically katsuki had to cry before izuku would fight him
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ewwww-what · 19 days
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If nobody else is going to make them best friends I WILL.
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britcision · 2 months
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Hey by the way if anyone tries to deny Kabru is a judgy bitch I’ll send you the panels of him calling everyone worthless
Respect his duality he’s a good boy who genuinely wants the best for everyone but also thinks he has to do everything himself despite being the Least Qualified Ever because no one else lives up to his standards
He doesn’t even want to look at monsters but oh well every single other person is a piece of shit let’s go get my friends killed over and over again
He’s interesting BECAUSE he’s not one dimensional Good Pure Boy all the time, he’s a judgy manipulative little shit who will eat monsters if it gets him towards his goals, which are “nobody should be killed by monsters actually” and “i want to know what the fuck is going on”
He coulda had ONE honest conversation with Laios and known literally everything about him, Laios has never met a filter
But Kabru was raised for a good chunk of his life (6-18) by Milsiril, and for all he believes elves can never understand short lived people… he picked up the whole “I must be secretive and always conceal my own motivations”
He only breaks under literally the most intense high pressure situation he’s likely to see in his life, which along with being the potential goddamn apocalypse is also a rehashing of All Of His Personal Trauma oh and also Every Suspicion He Ever Had About This One Guy
He’s not more honest because he’s an honest person, he’s more honest because he forgot how sentences work when he finally caught Laios and doesn’t have the bandwidth to play the constant 4D chess in his head that underpins his EVERY INTERACTION WITH EVERYONE EVER until Marcille takes the lion
Kabru’s a pretty good person, with extremely good motivations and goals.
He’s a manipulative son of a bitch who will do anything, anywhere, anytime, to meet those goals, and spends a solid chunk of his time and energy on reading people so he can be someone they like… regardless of his own feelings.
He’s the living The Good Of The Many Outweigh The Needs Of The Few, and solidly puts himself in with “the few” by doing shit he hates because he thinks it’ll help.
Isn’t that more interesting than “oh he would never manipulate anyone, he’s so nice and good all the time”?
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fastidious-and-a-mess · 4 months
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guys can we PLEASE stop shipping riz w people. honestly at this point i kind of don’t even care if you yourself are also acespec/arospec/aspec.
yes, aspec people can be in relationships, etc etc, but riz specifically has expressed over and over and over again that that is something he personally has absolutely zero interest in.
he’s not just canonically aroace, he also canonically does not want a relationship.
“aroace people can be happy in romantic/sexual/queerplatonic relationships” is a true statement. “people who do not want to be in any kind of monogamous committed relationship can be happy in a monogamous committed relationship” is quite a bit harder to argue.
i’m just so sick of it. i’m glad we all understand that there’s nuance to aspec identities, and everyone’s expressions of and experiences with their own aspec identities are going to be different and personal.
like, it’s not even just about the asexual/aromantic aspect anymore. it’s also just refusing to let him not want to be in a relationship. why are so many people so resistant to the idea that he does not want to be in a relationship. like genuinely, why can you not accept that there are people who just don’t want that. who would just be unhappy in a relationship. why can’t you wrap your head around the idea that wanting a relationship is not a thing that everyone secretly wants. like, No, he hasn’t just not “met the right person” yet. because there is no right person. because he’s simply not interested.
this post is kind of rambly and not as effectively phrased as it could be i think but idc.
TL;DR: riz being aroace is not the only reason to not ship him. he also, explicitly and repeatedly, has stated he does not want to be in a relationship. “aspec people can be in relationships” is completely irrelevant because regardless riz simply does not want a relationship. please just respect thag.
edit: plz don’t like this is u wont rb. i won’t guilt you into rbing, it’s ur blog i’m not ur dad do what u want etc etc. it’s just irritating for me personally to see ppl interacting w this but not willing to actually put it on their blogs.
#sorry to keep this ‘’’’’’’ discoure ‘’’’’’’ alive#im just sooooo tired#i just don’t understand how so many people can see this character have such a significant part of characterization be about how#he does not want to be in a Relationship at all and how that affects him and his relationships with the people in his life#and then go ‘what if he was in a Relationship with his best friend’#like come on!!#i don’t care how you define the Relationship. i don’t care about your own personal identity.#i don’t care about whatever reasons you come up with the justify why it’s actually totally fine#the bottom line is riz does not want that for himself and you’re deciding that that’s not worth respecting#sorry fabriz enjoyers but i wish you guys would just stfu#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#edit continued: ik it’s all just online fandom stuff. but it’s also representative of a larger issue#of people just being incapable of comprehending that some people don’t want relationships. or even past that; that some people actively want#to Not be in relationships. it’s people coming into contact with a person (character) like that and believing that that just can’t be true#that that person Must secretly actually want a relationship. even if they don’t know it. they just haven’t met the right person yet. etc etc#if you can’t give up outting riz in any kind of relationship then you cannot accept that some people really truly do not want relationships#that’s FINE. PLEASE just respect that
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dragonanon · 2 months
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Death!Reader and God!Brother head cannons
Note: you can thank @sherlockhomies-42 for this, my brain hasn’t known peace since I read their stuff about the reader being Death in Hazbin Hotel. And if I don’t get my thoughts out right now I might honestly combust. 🙃
Lore HCs:
- Before Hell, Earth, and even Heaven existed, there was nothing….Until by some cosmic miracle, God popped into existence. God started by building himself a luxurious paradise; the same paradise that would eventually become Heaven.
- God relished in his wonderful new home for a while, but quickly grew bored with being alone. So he began creating animals and other small creatures to keep him company. At first, this worked out great! But to an ageless, immortal being like God, several years felt like mere moments to him; and before he knew it, his beloved creations had become incredibly old and were in ever increasing pain and discomfort as they continued to age, and there was nothing God could do about it. All he could do was create life, and once life had been created God was powerless to do anything to stop it or take it away.
- Just when it seemed God would be forced to watch his creations suffer forever, another incredible miracle happened; you popped into existence. Sporting six mighty black wings and a set of horns gracing your head, you gently touched each of the suffering creatures, and with your touch each one FINALLY had their suffering come to an end as they died, and their now freed souls traveled down to a newly created realm to rest and wait for whatever came next; Limbo.
- God watched in awe as you gave his beloved friends what he couldn’t; an ending. God realized quickly, based on an instinctual pull he felt towards you, that whatever force had created him had clearly struck again, and brought you into existence.
- God was now in the presence of a being just as powerful as him, but while you may have been his equal in terms of how you both came to be and the sheer power you both held, your powers were VERY different from his; almost like they were the opposite of his. That’s when it dawns on him, you’re his sibling! His counterpart! If his powers are to begin and yours are to end, then you’re meant to bring balance to everything! After all, there can never be a beginning if there’s no end, and there can never be an end if there is no beginning.
- It’s then that you’re given your name; “Death”, and as both the younger sister of God and the only one capable of bringing an end to any life he creates, your very existence leads to you both creating balance in the universe for the very first time.
- As the first order of business, God started creating ageless beings, like the Seraphim and other Angelic beings. And with your input, he gave them the gift of sentience so they could all think, feel emotions, and communicate with each other and you and your older brother, and the ability to create just like him.
- At some point though, God started getting more lazy and careless, given he didn’t have to do much now that he’d created ageless beings capable of thinking and creating things themselves. He suddenly had more free time than he knew what to do with, and it culminated in him pretty much just sitting back in his fancy palace, and allowing allowing his children do as they pleased while he casually observed from time to time from the sidelines. (Dude basically just became super depressed because now he essentially had nothing to do, and felt like he no longer served any purpose in existing. He hasn’t told you or anyone about these feelings tho, just drinks himself silly everyday and vibes in his palace.)
- This annoyed you GREATLY as you now had to essentially step up and provide guidance to the Seraphim and other Angelic beings when they needed it, because your brother couldn’t even be bothered to do that. You started to resent God for his “hands off” approach to running things, while God began to resent you for being “nagging and controlling”.
- The resentment eventually boiled over when Lucifer and Lilith inadvertently created Hell, and the other Seraphim and Angelic beings banished them both into the realm they’d created. Outraged by what God’s lack of involvement had caused, you got into a nasty fight with him as you pleaded with him to intervene and FINALLY put an end to the chaos he’d allowed to run rampant for centuries. God vehemently refused, insisting that the Seraphim and Angelic beings knew what they were doing and didn’t need his input. Furthermore, God believed that the punishment was justified given it was their actions that caused evil to invade the Earth.
- You were getting NO WHERE in this argument, so for the sake of your own sanity, you returned to Limbo to continue your work of bringing death to those who needed it. Along with the new task of taking dead souls back to Limbo, where they would stay until you determined whether to send them to Heaven or Hell based on how the soul had behaved while alive.
- That’s how it went for centuries before you decided you needed a little break, and informed Heaven and Hell that you would be taking a well deserved nap. This would mean that they would need to work together to sort souls in the meantime, as your reapers would ensure that death still continued appropriately on Earth while you sleep. Heaven and Hell agreed to this, and with that you curled up in bed and went to sleep.
- Speaking of reapers, reapers are permanent residents in Limbo. They are neither Angels nor Demons, but they’re ageless all the same. God actually made the first reapers for you, so they’re essentially the Limbo equivalent of Seraphim and other Heaven born angelic beings. These reapers, often called “First Ones”, have sentience and emotions since they were created by God himself. So you typically have First Ones lead the other reapers.
- All the reapers you’ve obtained since the First Ones are Limbo’s equivalent of Sinners, often called “Hollows”. Hollows are souls who in order to avoid eternal suffering in Hell, instead opted to willingly relinquish their humanity entirely and become an undead being working for you. In giving up their humanity however, the souls lose their ability to feel anything whatsoever. They’re little more than robots; doing what they’re told and not questioning it, all while feeling absolutely nothing. They’re called “Hollows” because that’s essentially what they are, hollowed out husks that now only exist to serve you.
- Regardless of whether they’re a First One or Hollow though, they all have the same job; find the humans whom you’ve given death to, reap their souls from their bodies, and guide them down to Limbo and care for them until you’ve sorted them into Heaven or Hell. The only real difference is the First Ones are usually in charge of the Hollows, ensuring that the Hollows reap the correct souls and are doing their jobs.
- If you had only known what your absence would cause, you would’ve NEVER went to sleep. For as SOON as you were out, Heaven took it upon themselves to decide where the souls went, completely defying your orders that Heaven and Hell work TOGETHER to decide that. To add insult to injury, Heaven also became incredibly elitist and picky about who got into Heaven, and this resulted in a vast majority of souls being sent to Hell for even the smallest infractions. The unbalanced approach of sorting souls eventually caused the over population problem and subsequent annual exterminations.
- With Heaven’s incredible arrogance and Hell’s complicity in this, both realms are in for a VERY rude awakening when you eventually wake up prematurely and see what they all have done. You’re gonna read Sera, Lilith, Lucifer, Adam, Lute, AND God the riot act for fucking your shit up
Okay lore time over, here’s the silly, more generalized, shit you’ve all been waiting for!
- When making the Seraphim, God made them in your image. He really just wanted to show his love and appreciation for you in some way, and he decided the best way to that was by basing the physical appearances of his first sentient creations on you. Hence why all the Seraphim are beautiful and have six wings like you do. It was literally like a kid excitedly making a piece of macaroni art of their sibling and being super excited to show it off to them
- All of the beings directly created by God are considered his “children”, so they all refer to him as “father”. Given that you’re God’s younger sister though, it also technically makes them your “nieces/nephews/niblings” and it makes you their “aunt”. You get called “Aunt Death” or “Auntie Death” by them a lot, but you’re cool with it because you think it’s cute.
- You weren’t supposed to have any favorites, but you always did have a soft spot for Lucifer in particular. He reminded you a lot of how God used to be back when you’d first come into existence; so energetic and excited to create things. You affectionately called him your “favorite nephew”.
- You haven’t seen God since the fight you had with him after Lucifer’s banishment into Hell. You actually miss your older brother dearly, but you’re still so pissed at him that you don’t feel like talking to him for the foreseeable future. You temporarily go back on this decision long enough to chew God out for allowing his children to make a complete mess of your realm, and destroying the balance you worked so hard to create and maintain. You’re back to giving him the silent treatment after that.
- Limbo is ONLY accessible by you, Cerberus, dead souls, and your reapers. No one else is capable of entering Limbo, hence why everyone assumed that the exterminations were successful in getting rid of excess Sinners. In reality however, all the “killed” Sinners were really just getting yeeted back into Limbo for re-sorting since something that’s already dead can’t die again.
- The persistent wailing and cries of the millions and millions of souls who were now trapped in Limbo was eventually what managed to wake you up early from your nap. You were not pleased in the slightest.
- Despite having a very gothic and menacing appearance, you’re incredibly gentle and kind. You feel great honor in being the one tasked with giving everyone the ending they need and deserve, and you take pride in caring for the souls that may have to stay in Limbo for an extended period of time whilst you decide where they will go next.
- You take no satisfaction in having a send ANYONE to Hell. It doesn’t feel good to know that you’re condemning someone to an eternity of suffering, no matter how deserving of that punishment they may be. Hence why it can sometimes take awhile for you to decide where a soul goes, because you want to be sure you’re really making the right decision.
- You’re saddened by how much like your brother Lucifer has become after his banishment, and you wholeheartedly believe that the ONLY reason he hasn’t completely turned into his father is that he has Charlie to think of.
- You and God are both fucking MASSIVE in your true forms. Like, “skyscrapers BARELY reach your hips”, massive. You’re both capable of shrinking down to be able to better interact with people, but even at your smallest you STILL tower over most Sinners.
- You’re low key salty that Lucifer went and had a baby while you were sleeping, because you missed out on getting to play the role of “doting great aunt” while Charlie was growing up. You’re trying really hard to make up for the lost time by visiting frequently. Much to the minor annoyance of a certain radio demon who doesn’t like the feeling of being in the presence of someone FAR more powerful than him. He deals with it and is polite tho because it’s FAR better to have someone as powerful as you be an acquaintance than an enemy.
- You can walk the streets of Hell with complete impunity because everyone either knows EXACTLY who you are and goes out of their way to stay in your good graces, or they end up finding out real fucking quick that you are NOT to be messed with.
- That being said, your presence is generally more accepted in Hell than it is in Heaven. In Hell, you’re far more likely to be willingly approached and have a nice conversation with a Demon. Whereas in Heaven, everyone is scared shitless of you except for Emily and actively tries to avoid even making eye contact with you. It’s like pulling teeth just trying to get someone to tell you what time it is. Of course you can ask anyone in Heaven anything and they’ll respond because they’re too afraid not to lol. But they’ll look like they’re on the verge of fainting then entire time you’re talking to them.
- The aversion to you in Heaven gets better over time as you’re seen having friendly interactions with Emily, but most Angels still get a bit uneasy in your presence. Sera is one of them because she knows that you’re BEYOND pissed at her and she’s one more fuck up away from getting dragged to Limbo and being made into one of your reapers to serve you AND the souls she hurt.
- Much like sending souls to Hell, you get no satisfaction in turning someone into a Hollow. Completely stripping someone of their emotions and sentience is not an enjoyable experience, even if it does result in you getting more help in Limbo. Despite this, you’re still required to make this offer to all souls set to be sent to Hell. You do your best to explain though what the consequences of this decision are though, and thankfully most souls see what becoming a Hollow entails and opt to keep their humanity. However every now and then you’ll get few who insist that becoming a Hollow will be a better fate, so you end up with new reapers.
- Vox is BIG MAD that his biggest rival is now rubbing elbows with the LITERAL Goddess of death. Dumbass had no clue who you even were at first so he didn’t care, but as soon as found out you were Death, the ensuing meltdown he had knocked the power out for the whole Pride ring. Alastor is aware of how pissed Vox is about this, so he purposely goes out of his way to play up his interactions with you when he knows Vox is watching. He can practically hear Vox’s apoplectic screeching when he does it, and it brings him immense joy every time.
- You’re often accompanied by Cerberus; a massive, three headed, doglike beast. God made him for you as a gift AGES ago to be a bodyguard and companion for you. Not that you ever NEED a bodyguard, but the thought was appreciated all the same. You ADORE Cerberus, he is the goodest good boy that ever did a good in your book. Cerberus loves you just as much and loves to give you kisses and cuddles.
- Lucifer was dog sitting Cerberus for you while you slept. Cerberus was a little shit during this time because he missed you, so he would often purposely ignore any commands Lucifer gave him. Charlie loved him though and he was actually great with her, so Lucifer put up with it.
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