#please save this man

[codgod]

“HEY ADMINS, CAN YOU DO /SLIMECICLE HAPPY? CAN YOU DO /SLIMECICLE HAPPY? CAN YOU HACK INTO MY COMPUTER AND MAKE ME WELL AGAIN?”

[mochalottie]

How much of a dummy dumb dumb do we think Jake is?

On like a scale ranging from 'laughs at his own dad jokes' to 'burning water whilst attempting to cook'?

It's for scientific research I swear.

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)

[nightowl374art]

Posting because if I spend another second on this I will literally cry

[http-sawposting]

🫀🫀🫀

and he has come to absolve you of your sins, the sacrificial lamb weeps for it knows it’s fate is sealed

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[cometrose]

zhongli is so fucking funny when hes avoiding people like venti last year and neuvillette this year he can’t catch a break he moves like they’re his ex husbands 😭

[islawila]

dont know whats wrong with me but im pretty sure old man logan would fix it x

[ekkoh]

mj said there’s no playbook for people like them. gwen’s dad told her to do things by the book. and miles said there’s a first time for everything.

miles is gonna find his own way, and he’s gonna be the first. he’s an anomaly because he’s not doing it like anyone else. he’s doing it like him.

[sol-thorne-shitpost]

Still reading the Odyssey. How have I never seen anyone bring up a headcanon that Odysseus becomes scared shitless of the ocean after finally coming home to Ithaca? I'm talking mental-breakdown inducing phobia.

The man has spent TEN YEARS lost at sea. Each time he reached land, Poseidon was here to try to drown him. His twelve ships with six hundred men sunk. And later on, when Alcinoos' men sailed him back to Ithaca, Poseidon sunk that ship too. It just never ends. Odysseus has seen hundreds of men, friends, die at sea, he's been whipped by waves, choked by salt, he faced Charybdis on his own, nearly drowned more times than he can count, all of this to finally reach home knowing his journey has drowned hundreds of innocent people.

I'm telling you he'd never heal from that shit. After he finally reclaims the throne of Ithaca, maybe Telemachus mentions that some of his father's old friends are still waiting for news of him, that Nestor has no idea he managed to go home and that Menelaus weeps whenever he thinks of him.

So Odysseus agrees to follow his son to Pylos and Sparta, having to sail across the sea once again, and although the trip goes smoothly it's a living nightmare for Odysseus. The moment the ship departs, he prays Poseidon with all his might, begging him to spare his son. He can't stop puking and crying, choking on his own erratic breath, hallucinating and going paranoid. For a few days Telemachus really thinks he's fallen ill. The trip back is just as terrible and Telemachus has no idea how to comfort his father or to make him understand that the seas are safe for him now, as well as for all the people who travel with him.

Yet another reason why Odysseus needs to spend the rest of his life in a Penelope/Diomedes sandwich hug, I rest my case.

[rubydubsnuby]

Why so sad mister Dompler...

[myriam-draws]

everyone read impulse 1995 for The Guy

[d1rtypuppy]

cis men just don’t get me like another trans man can. i’m not fragile, i can take being shoved around. i’ll put up a fight. i’m not feminine. i’m a man. i’m gross, i’m sweaty, i’m a pervert. i just want a man who will treat me like it. who will understand my masculinity and cherish it the way i do. who will hold me down and make me take it like the man i am.

[rhupi]

" Something stupid "

- Frank sinatra

[dibbs-n-scribbs]

Some Columbo sketches from this past month

[starry-bi-sky]

my martha knight au in a nutshell:

Danny/Martha: see up here?

Danny/Martha: *taps skull*

Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage

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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*

Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--

Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--

Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--

Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--

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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself

Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)

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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid

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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--

Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!

Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?

Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)

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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.

Danny/Martha: do you understand me

Falcone:... crystal, ma'am

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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*

Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*

Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--

(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)

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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.

Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.

Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]