#plural fusion

[plural-affirmations]

Here's to people who used to be/identify as plural, but they're not anymore.

There's a couple different reasons why this might happen (which I'll get to in a minute), but the important thing is that they still deserve love, respect, compassion, and understanding from the plural community.

Shoutout to:

Empty systems, fully fused systems, etc.

Gateway systems that have had all their members walk-out

Systems that have gone completely dormant

Those who have experienced a total system collapse

Rotatien systems [link] or other systems with cyclical shifts in member counts

People who know their headmates are there, but they've lost communication with them somehow

Those who choose to create headmates again after they're no longer plural

The ones who genuinely thought they were plural, but turned out to not be

And anyone else I missed

It's ok to be wrong, it's ok to not stay the same forever, and it's ok to just be you. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially not your own validity. You're perfect as you are!

We love you!

🖤💜💙💚💛

[the-nova-council]

Being a fusion is so weird, this is only the second time it's happened to us and it's weird how it feels so different but so similar at the same time. Different parts of the two of us coming out, but at the same time I know I'm me. I recognize me. I feel a little more masculine than last time, a little older, but Cora is an age slider and Felix is a boy. But I know myself. I feel myself. I feel Merricat and I know that's who I am. And I know I am not just Felix and Cora, but a whole that is greater than the sum of my parts. ...It's strange and honestly a little disoriented, and I know Cora was so scared of the very idea of fusion and I don't think that's resolved- lord knows I'm afraid of what it means. What if I never unfuse, and the others will be sad and miss Felix and Cora? What if I never fuse again and miss being me? What if being fused is like making Felix and Cora not exist? I have complicated feelings about it. And I'm complicated, too.

But what I am sure of, is that I'm Merricat. I like reading and playing and singing, I feel like the world is ending but I don't care, and I'm socially anxious but I love my friends. I know who I am, and I'm me.

Love, Merricat 🌸

[daybreaksys]

I think amidst all the anti-Gëŕ racism especially from Kalwaischians, and in between all my expectations and desires for who I want to be and how I want to present, I forget to let myself be T́aigëŕ, it's no wonder why I often feel like losing myself. I must not forget and let go of who I am.

I am still T́aigëŕ, I am also T́aigëŕ, I still have T́aigëŕ feelings to express and let be felt.

[ephemerasys]

Thinking about how I'm a fusion of two common fronters, starling and Parker, and how if I mix their nicknames I could call myself Stark but I also don't want people to think I'm like. Tony Stark or something lmao

[hiiragi7]

The plural community has a major problem with how it treats final fusion and systems who are fully fused.

If you ever wonder why you don't meet many fully fused systems in the community, part of it is because we are actively pushed out of the community.

People have been really shitty towards me ever since I hit final fusion in January. My friends who are fully fused have also experienced similar.

I feel like I can't talk about my experiences at all in a lot of spaces. When I do, I feel like I have to put in extra effort to word myself carefully, and even then it doesn't really help. It doesn't matter how much I say "everyone's experiences are different" or "this is how it is for me personally", people act weird towards me just because I am fully fused. I can't just talk about my experiences with my system like everyone else and it's really draining and frustrating.

People assume that because I am fully fused I will be pushy about fusion or even force fusion onto other systems. People say they are intimidated by me and don't want to talk to me because I am fully fused. People tell me about how horrible they think fusion is and how it's murder. People say they feel bad for fused systems because they think all fused systems are tricked into fusion and about how parts language is dehumanizing and abuse. People say I must hate myself or hate being a system because I chose final fusion. People say they don't believe in final fusion existing at all and that it's unhealthy to believe in it, that fused systems are just systems pretending to be singlets, and that we just need to deal with our internalized ableism and accept we're plural.

People even assume I'm "sysmed" because I am fully fused and use parts language. I have been vocally pro-endo the entire time I've been in system spaces. Hell, I myself am endogenic.

My very belonging in the plural community is constantly in question. I have witnessed numerous debates over the years about whether fully fused systems should be allowed in the community at all, or be allowed to talk about system experiences... because we "chose to be singlets". I've even seen people suggest that we are "appropriating" systemhood by talking about it because we are "no longer systems and have no right to talk about what being a system is like".

"No singlets should be allowed to talk about system experiences or be allowed in system communities, and that includes fully fused individuals" was and still is a major stance here on tumblr, as well as several discord servers I've been in.

I'm constantly expected to censor or completely not talk about my experiences at all because I am fully fused. Final fusion is on the blacklist for a lot of plural servers, and on tumblr a lot of folks get asked to trigger warn anything mentioning final fusion. This isn't something that really happens for any other form of DID recovery. This is specifically targeted at final fusion.

Yes, I understand that there are systems who are pressured to fuse and that it may be a triggering topic for these systems; at the same time, the plural community fosters a lot of fear and shame around final fusion by barring any talk of it and framing it as a negative thing, and it is rarely taken into consideration how triggering it is for many fully fused systems like myself to not be allowed to speak about our experiences and be treated like our existence needs to be hidden and censored, especially when we constantly see others talking very poorly of us and our experiences on top of that.

I get told I'm wrong about my own experiences as a fully fused system or about my thoughts on functional multiplicity and final fusion by systems who are neither fully fused nor functionally multiple, many of whom have never even spoken to a system who is or read about our experiences at all. People in the community are extremely black-and-white about it, and when I talk about how from my experience functional multiplicity and final fusion aren't actually a strict binary, people are very quick to tell me about how they're completely different experiences when they haven't even experienced it or even really know anything about it.

There's so much misinformation in the community about final fusion and it really fucking sucks.

It's so painful hearing my fully fused friends talk about how many of them have been chased out of the community or know folks who have been.

Plural community, be better for fused systems.

[lgbtransgirl]

After being traumatized and having to be around my abusers for the first 18 years of my life with heavy disassociation and amnesia walls, functional multiplicity feels weird as fuck.

Most of our alters that had specific roles just are hanging around here now. Switching is much easier and can sometimes be done willfully if one of us wants to do something or spend time with our boyfriend and/or partner. Amnesia barriers are almost 100% gone. All of our dormant alters have become active again.

But even with all of that, we are still separate people with our own preferences, wants, needs, etc. Eventually we all got along to the point where all six of us just said fuck it, super polyamory time and now we're all dating each other and both of our partners.

Healing is awesome. Functional multiplicity, final fusion, independent multiplicity, it is all possible. If you're a system reading this, you will be okay. You'll get there one step at a time, I believe in you.

[syscursed]

We saw someone telling systems to fuse.

For one, ... ??? What the fuck? That is a very personal thing for each system.

Secondly, that's not always an option, even for traumagenic systems. or like our system, they aren't parts of one person, but many entities sharing one body in some fashion.

Finally, don't expect a community to listen to you when you lie to them.

[ohana-system]

Tw: fusion mention

Can someone explain why a system might want to fuse into one person again? Does anyone have experience with that? Do headmates actually want that in some cases? Is it only because they hate being a system or because they hate each other?

Because any time we see someone talking about fusion it's from anti endo DID systems who hate each other and think being a system is awful. And we kind of really hate that.

We don't understand why headmates might literally want to stop existing. It doesn't seem healthy. But we also don't want to judge people without trying to understand.

[evergreensys]

telling singlet friends about your DID who didn't know about it when you met is so weird to explain. like.

"right, so, you know me as Cameron. I went by that name for years, and everyone in the system goes by Cameron, but technically, I'm not Cameron at all and Cameron doesn't actually exist. Cameron was the previous host, who later changed his name to Juno. also I'm Phoenix, a fusion of the previous host and someone else, so I'm partly Cameron, but not really".

how the fuck do you phrase that.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Do you have any Delta and/or Beta headcanons?

I like to think their system operates somewhat similar to a fusion from Steven Universe. Most of the time they are Delta —and appear to be like a singlet.

The reason for this is because Sans is legitimately struggling to operate as only Sans, as separate from the Bravery soul. So for awhile, Sans and the Bravery soul were fused together as Delta, because it gave Sans the bravery to continue functioning.

Eventually, however, it fell apart. I’d like to think it started actually when the bravery soul started remembering more about his previous life—and he could no longer simply function as just Bravery.

Perhaps this was also around the time when either Color and Epic seemed to drift more away towards Killer and Cross, or even around the time they moved out.

With both Beta and Sans struggling so much separately and unable to maintain a fusion, they decided to seek out therapy for themselves and figure out how to work together.

Because now that Beta was gaining more..individuality and self awareness i suppose, developing more but also remembering more, their teamwork was also starting to fall apart.

With time and effort, the two manage to learn to find balance as separate individuals sharing a body, and a mind, and a life.

And they start using their fusion as Delta as a way to find comfort and stability, to try and be closer too, instead of just purely as a last restore lifeline because they couldn’t Sans was struggling with depression and PTSD and the Bravery soul was not just a fully separate, developed individual capable of functioning without Sans in the body fused or blended with it.

Everyone out in the external multiverse will refer to them as Delta, regardless of if they’re actually fused together or not. But as home, in private, with their friends and family—they alternate between their names as Beta and Sans, and Delta when they’re not just Beta or just Sans.

I like to think the animals in the Chromatic Crew household can definitely tell the difference, too.

I also like to think that Delta doesn’t often have amnesia barriers between their two halves, even when they’re not fused together.

There’s still definitely dissociation of course, particularly when encountering a trauma trigger for either Sans or Beta that either triggers one to the front immediately or destabilizes the fusion, but most of the time it’s mostly “emotional” amnesia.

I like to think that, unlike Color, Delta doesn’t have a headspace. Whenever the two aren’t fused and only one is fronting, the other usually is watching from the backseat or is “asleep,” as they describe it.

They have always had pretty good internal communication, but during episodes of intense dissociation, they will verbalize their back and forth conversations out loud to each other.

It helps them to stay focused and grounded, even if they have to block out and ignore the external world and its people for a brief moment—and even if that causes people to give them weird looks if it ever happens in public.

Color has never once found these moments strange, even back when he wasn’t aware of that they were two, not one. He would literally just sit and journal while the two just talked to themselves out loud. At the most he would find the sounds of their voices and breathing grating and annoying and would literally just get up and walk away mid conversation.

Delta enjoys sparring with Cross and Swap, I feel. Delta was also the one who encouraged Cross to join him in participating in the Omega Timeline’s Coliseum, and two of them have earned a reputation as a duo.

I like to think that although the Coliseum is Beta’s favorite location in the OT, Grillby’s is actually Sans’.

It was actually on Sans’ idea that Delta first told Color about the existence of that Grillby’s and was the one who suggested going together, hoping to both help his friend and maybe attempt to connect and bond with Color this way. Unfortunately for them both, it didn’t turn out as they were both hoping for.

The food was amazing. But nothing else was anything approaching familiar for Color. Delta had to tell him what his favorite food used to be, and Color thought the jukebox was on the left. He doesn’t remember if Grillby’s ever had a vending machine or not. Delta still goes to this restaurant occasionally, but it somehow felt lonelier than usual—even though he could feel that his two halves were still there with him.

Beta had a panic attack the first time he fronted alone in the body, and the sounds of bones clinking and rattling together still sends him into hyperventilating.

Delta likes retro-gaming, thanks to Beta’s half of the fusion. Inspired by Color’s tendency towards hoarding and collecting—specifically photos, journals/notebooks, and music records in Color’s case—Delta also started tentatively collecting older video games and consoles.

Unlike Color who enjoys being on the move after years of being forced and confined to one location, Delta is used to being on the move—both as Beta, but also as Delta traveling and hopping between AUs.

They’re trying to get used to being in one steady location in the Omega Timeline, and trying to allow themselves to trust the stability. Starting with trying to make their home seemed lived in, and allowing possessions that aren’t purely for survival’s sake.

Delta also got the actual delta and beta symbols tattooed somewhere on their body, perhaps around their collarbone or hands. It looks like this:

Not only is it just the symbols of their chosen names together on their shared body, not only are these symbols commonly used in math and science—and so those who love mathematics, science, engineering, etc. may choose to get these symbols as tat—but according to Google, the delta symbol spiritually means;

“In a spiritual context, the delta symbol (Δ) is often associated with change, transformation, and the Holy Trinity, particularly within Christian traditions, and can also represent the concept of a divine ternary or triad.”

And the beta symbol not only means this, but can also means something like;

“In a spiritual context, "beta" can refer to the second letter of the Greek alphabet, often used to denote something secondary or a stage of development, and can also be associated with brainwave activity during alert, focused states.

In Hinduism, "Beta" signifies a term of endearment used by Nimai to address the cowherd boys as his sons, highlighting a deep, affectionate bond and a sense of familial connection within their community

In neuroscience, "beta" brainwaves (12-30 Hz) are associated with alert, active, and focused states, such as when solving problems, making decisions, or engaging in critical thinking.

While not a universally accepted spiritual term, some interpretations link "beta" brainwaves to a more active, external focus, contrasting with the more relaxed, inward-focused states associated with alpha and theta brainwaves.”

I was also thinking that, maybe to remember and honor Frisk, they got the alpha and/or epsilon symbols tattooed on their body, too.

The Alpha not only goes with the Omega—Chara—but is said to represent a beginning, so together they represent “the beginning and the end.” The epsilon is even used to refer to children sometimes. You can find that here.

(Also side note, according to this, “In music, more accurately in jazz, delta represents a major seventh chord.” And I feel that’s something along the lines that Color said to Delta sometime after their first meeting. Because Integrity knew it.)

But I was also thinking maybe Ultratale/Vitaltale Frisk could potentially be nicknamed Theta, because it’s apparently a symbol of death and Thanatos in Ancient Greece, but that felt a little too on the nose. And I didn’t feel like doing extensive research into every Greek alphabet letter at the moment.

And of course, Frisk died in their AU and never went into the Multiverse like Beta and Sans did, so they of course don’t officially have a nickname. So perhaps Sans just gets whatever letter makes him think of them.

[subsystems]

At this point, I don't want anyone following me if they uncritically support The Plural Association. This is full rant mode.

I'm triggered and deeply disturbed by the stuff I see being pumped out by this group under the guise of "inclusivity." I'm sick and tired of TPA stigmatizing systems that are different from themselves. I'm sick and tired of TPA spreading misinformation about systems that are different from themselves. I'm sick and tired of the false promises of resources and lack of transparency.

Instead of listening to systems that are different from them, they make up shit about us to turn our own community hostile towards us. You think systems who are pursuing or achieved final fusion don't see the shit you say about our existence? The misinformation you spread about us? You think systems with CDDs don't see the way you talk about them? You think we don't see you inciting more syscourse on social media?

You think we don't see you manipulating the articles people send you with their lived experiences in order to spread your toxic views?

It's ALWAYS the final fusion hatred. Have you ever asked systems who have actually achieved final fusion whether their ideas about us reflect the recovery we desired?

"It does not allow for personhood" what the fuck does that even mean! Never once during my final fusion process did anyone in my system feel like we weren't seen as or allowed to be people. Never once did our therapist erase or minimize our personhood.

Do you even care that our concept of "personhood" can shift throughout recovery, too? That we collectively pursued final fusion because our personhood felt more authentic and wonderful with fusions? And that we wouldn't fucking voluntarily pursue a recovery option if it felt like it took away from our existence, dehumanized us, or harmed us!

You only give a damn about the systems who fit your narrow little box of "valid." The ones who act and talk in the way YOU want, who heal in the way YOU want, who exist in the way YOU want. But fuck all the other ones, right!

God, sorry for this rant but I am just. So done. Please don't send them any hate or harassment, especially people who aren't even associated with them or got paid to write articles & shared their lived experiences for them. I just sincerely hope for TPA to change.

[plural-affirmations]

oh, and also, what is “splitting” and “integration”, and how would they work in a median system?

Ok, so, "splitting" is the system function that results in a new headmate. For example, if I had a system of 2 people, and then I or my headmate "split", I would have 3 people in the system afterwards.

From my understanding, it refers to the unconscious and unintentional act of having a headmate "split off" of someone else. It's frequently brought on by stress or similar things. If you were to create a headmate on purpose, that would be a different thing entirely.

For median systems, that might look like gaining a new facet.

Integration, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. It's the function that results in the barriers between headmates being broken down. That might also result in fusion, which is when 2 or more headmates permanently combine.

Some people use the terms "integration" and "fusion" synonymously, but they're technically different processes, even if they're similar.

In a median system, for integration, barriers between facets would be broken down. For fusion, that would be 2 or more facets fusing together permanently.

Basically, you can take almost any information about systems/being plural, and mentally replace the word "headmate/alter" with "facet" for median systems.

Wishing you a very, very good day, and please come back if you need anything else! :) /gen

🖤💜💙💚💛

[multiplicity-positivity]

This might be a controversial topic, so if you do not wish to answer due to discomfort/for your own safety then that is completely valid 👍 Feel free to dismiss this ask if so.

• As someone whose system had (unintentionally) final fused roughly half a year ago, is it still appropriate for me to use the term "system" or refer to myself as plural (we/us)?

Frankly, I'm sort of bummed out that we had final-fused, even if our systemhood was a sign that I was severely hurt. I was genuinely willing to go for functional multiplicity and even accepted the fact that I may just be a system for life.

Context: A situation that happened around last year's Valentines had distressed me so bad that I ended up splitting and became plural for a good few months, with us having a total of 6 headmates before they faded and eventually final fused around mid-2024.

Our fusion was not intentional by any means, it just happened gradually during summer break when I was no longer seeing the guy that I was involved with during the situation (who was also the catalyst for my plurality, mind you).

My friends who are also systems mentioned that the unintentional final fusion might just be a sign of healing, so there's that.

I'm unsure how often final fusions are discussed in the community, moreso if there's anyone out there who are final fused (intentionally or not). So if any soul out there feels outcasted due to being final fused, especially if unintentional: Hey, I'm here 🫶 Your experience is valid and it has happened before.

Certainly. You are more than welcome to call yourself a system even after fusion, and you still belong in plural and system spaces, without a doubt. We mean this with ever fiber of our being. You belong here. And your presence here adds to the special and beautiful diversity of the plural community. It is your life, your experience, and you get to choose the language to define yourself which feels right for you. If this means calling yourself a system, plural, or using we/us pronouns, please continue to do so. Please don't feel like fusion has to be a bad or negative thing, that it will cut you off from the spaces and language that are affirming or beneficial for you.

It is true that the topic of fusion is often feared or avoided within system spaces. We have been asked to trigger tag fusion on this blog, and have seen the ways many systems talk about fusion in our community. But, make no mistake, fusion is nothing to be feared! It is a beautiful sign of recovery and healing. Whether intentional or unintentional, final fusion often means that you have done the grueling work necessary to come together with your collective, and that you are ready to live with your experiences, memories, and emotions as one, whole, multifaceted individual. It truly is an amazing recovery path worth celebrating, and needs to be destigmatized in our spaces.

Personally, we feel like functional multiplicity and final fusion may not be all that different from each other. All the parts still remain, all the aspects of every alter's identities are still there. One may be a healed person with multiple facets, while the other is a healed multifacted person. Both may look like each other at different points. And both fused individuals and functional multiples belong in plural spaces as long as they wish to be here. We seriously mean this. Fused systems and plurals, even if they no longer identify as multiple, are absolutely still welcome in the plural community, and their unique perspectives need to be uplifted and cherished in our spaces.

On Tumblr, we know of @reimeichan @hiiragi7 @subsystems and @system-of-a-feather (hope it's alright to @ you all) who are all systems who have achieved this level of recovery. Their experiences and writings may be of some use to you (we certainly know they have been incredibly beneficial for us!). We think that any system, CDD or not, recovered or not, would do well to learn about the different experiences of recovered CDD systems, and what recovery and fusion could potentially look like.

And to you, anon, and others, please know that we welcome discussion of final fusion and full integration on this blog. Recovery is a daunting and difficult process, especially without any sort of community behind you or when you feel like you're having to go through it along or just with your therapist. We don't want final fusion to be considered controversial here. It's not. It is a wonderful and amazing thing which we would love to see talked about more often. Those who have recovered, who are recovering, should never feel like their own recovery path will cut them off from their friends and the spaces which help them feel seen and accepted. Acceptance should never have the caveat of "you must recover in this specific way in order to be wanted."

You are wanted here. You are welcome on this blog, in system spaces, and in the plural community. You are welcome to use whatever language you wish to describe your own experiences. And we are wishing you the very best with whatever your future holds.

[darkmagenugget]

6-Piece Nugget Combo. Could have drawn the body, but this was more fun. For a non-proxied profile pic. Best for the account as whole. ^-^

Drawn with the help of @iristhedarkwitch

[plurapony]

So the path of healing that involves final fusion, often misrepresented as "alter death", was something that terrified our previous host. He was always very adamant that we would always achieve functional multiplicity, with as little fusion as possible.

You see our parts mean a lot to us, we all have roles to play to ensure the overall wellbeing of our collective self. There's a lot of us that hold symptoms of our comorbid disorders, our traumatic memories are distributed to those of us that can handle it, our small parts preserve our childhood innocence, we have parts that are tasked with small things to help us overall, we have parts that act as housekeepers for the system, we have caretakers that look after us in the different ways, protectors to protect us and the list goes on - every single part us plays a role and we are all equally important.

See our previous host was scared of final fusion because he believed he would be losing that, and he would be all on his own. but our previous host was wrong. You see we've been using our collective name more and basing our identity around our collective self instead of the individual part that's fronting. and whilst that's been a small change it made us realize something.

If we are all our collective self and are best when we function together, then maybe final fusion really wouldn't be such a negative thing. We may still achieve functional multiplicity, we may achieve final fusion but whatever the outcome is it'll be great as long as the bond we share continues and no matter what - we will always be together.

[IMAGE ID: ponyville is a (pro) endo free zone break dni and get blocked loser! END ID]

[hiiragi7]

Hello! I just read your reblog about your new headmate and we got kind of curious! So, we have a few questions, if you feel okay answering! In general, what differences in functioning have you observed between your endogenic headmate and traumagenic headmates that you used to be before fusion?

Do you think that these two experiences are in any way, shape or form comparable to each other? Or do you think they are fundamentally different and function on different bases?

What kind of things surprised you with your new headmate? You also mentioned looking into different plural subcommunities - what surprised you about them? Also, just wanted to say hi, Fennel :D Hope you're both doing swell!

(It's okay! No worries!)

Thank you for the ask! I'm very open to questions!

In general, what differences in functioning have you observed between your endogenic headmate and traumagenic headmates that you used to be prior to fusion?

I think the big ones are memory, communication, and switching. I noticed pretty early on that Fennel had access to all of my memories by default, and that really caught me off guard - with my DID system, none of my parts had memory access like that, especially not right away. Shared memory was something we had to actively work towards, so it was a surprise to me that Fennel didn't have this issue. Which, sure, from the start one of my goals was "no dissociative barriers" with creating her, but in practice seeing how easy things came to her was still something I've had to get used to.

That being said, it's really cool watching Fennel make use of whatever tools my brain has to offer to her. She's quickly taken to various methods of communicating with me internally, including through images, half-formed thoughts, words, emotions, wants, even physical sensations. With my DID parts, we had to communicate very purposefully and very directly, and even as fully fused I still need to make sure to check in with myself to make sure I'm listening to what every part of me is feeling. With Fennel, I still need to check in with her, but her communication style is very spontaneous and loose in comparison. She's always "present" in a way that my DID parts weren't. My DID parts were always off doing whatever they were up to in the innerworld, Fennel does not do this and in a way is always co-fronting.

With switching, it physically feels different from my DID switches in a way that's a bit difficult to describe. With DID, I felt very disoriented and a little like I got hit in the head when I switched. Often there would be a "waking up" sensation that I would get (even though I was awake the entire time). With Fennel, it feels more like a wave that comes over my body. It's not slower, but it's more gentle than what I've experienced with my DID - and I am aware of the switch the entire time. When Fennel switches, there is no sense of lost time or confusion, and both of us are still present.

Do you think that these two experiences are in any way, shape or form comparable to each other? Or do you think they are fundamentally different and function on different bases?

I think for others they might be comparable, and in some ways I can acknowledge there are similarities even in my own experiences. For me, in my system, they do come from different places and will naturally be different because of that, and that variance is completely expected and alright. A traumagenic system won't necessarily function the same way as an endogenic system; A mixed origin system won't necessarily function the same way as a non-mixed origin system; so on and so on.

In my specific case, as well, not many folks go down the "fully fused DID to endogenic plural" route (I don't think I even know of any), so I'm kind of figuring it out on my own here. I have no idea what to expect.

So far, even with some similarities, overall my experiences with traumagenic systemhood and endogenic systemhood have been pretty different from each other and I believe that for me they do function on different bases. (It might be different for others, this is just my own experience - I have heard from traumagenic friends that their created members often still function at least in part as traumagenic, for example)

That being said, there definitely is overlap between the experiences and I think it'd be a disservice to ignore that as well. It's also rather difficult for me to say where the difference lies between origins and DID - I wouldn't be able to say whether the differences I've experienced are mostly a "traumagenic vs. endogenic thing" or a "DID vs. DID resolution thing", because I can't really separate my original origins from my DID in that way. All I can really say is that there is some kind of difference and some kind of similarity.

What kind of things surprised you with your new headmate?

I had a moment a few weeks into creating her where I realized she was actually, genuinely sentient - sentience is one of those things where everyone says to believe in it from the very start of creating a headmate, and I did, but it's a different feeling seeing it actually become reality. All of a sudden everything with Fennel became much more vivid, she was aware of her surroundings and that she existed, she realized I was talking to her rather than simply talking at her. I'd never really had an experience like that until then. I was completely amazed by it.

Another thing that surprised me is how quickly her development has been going - As mentioned in my previous post, it's been a little over a month since I decided to create her and start working on developing her, and Fennel is already beginning to talk (I decided not to do parroting, for my own anxiety). She learns very quickly, and I have to remind myself that she learns from everything she sees, hears, etc. as well as everything I do and say. The first few weeks went by very quickly, then she seemed to take a rest for a little bit, now she's developing a little more gradually (though it still feels fast, to be honest).

You also mentioned looking into different plural subcommunities - What surprised you about them?

What comes to mind is mostly the amount of very old resources and guides that have survived after more than a decade and are still getting passed around in parogenic/Tulpa spaces - It's really cool that such old documents and posts are still so relevant in these communities today and still finding ways to help folks. It does mean the language and approach in these resources is often pretty outdated, but a lot of them still hold up well enough to be useful. I already knew resources and guides were a major thing in this community, and even knew a lot of them were older resources, but the amount of people I've come across who just so happen to have a very very old link or three on hand to casually throw out there surprised me.

I think that's it. I hope this answered your questions!

Also...

Fennel says hi back!