#possible scenario

[soukokumychildren]

Has a citizen ever seen Chuuya flying and been frightened or flat out confused? I feel like a hilarious scenario could evolve from that?

Oh yeah plenty of people have seen Chuuya flying. He’s not a fucking chameleon so he could shift his color to match the sky. People ain’t THAT oblivious / stupid ALL the time Y’know.

There’s been even footage taken of Chuuya flying, but nobodies exactly getting GOOD footage, so nobody can really tell who or what the big bird in the sky is.

But it’s all in vain because it mysteriously disappears a few moments after the picture or videos taken……..

Thanks to Ango, of course.

…And people just get used to it after a while

Japan Dweller: ?

Newcomer: OH MY GOD WTF IS THAT THING

Japan Dweller: oh it’s just big mysterious bird creature again. Don’t mind it.

Newcomer: the WHAT

Japan Dweller: Flies around all the time. Shrug We don’t know what it is but it hasn’t harmed anything so…we can’t really do anything about it.

Newcomer: you’re telling me a literal alien flies in your skies and you’re okay with it

Japan Dweller: Live with it for seven years and you tell me you don’t get used to something like that at that point

Newcomer: but the government—

Japan Dweller: —Can’t do anything about it.

Newcomer: …Fair enough.

[kokodrawings]

It's ok, Minato asked for permission first

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[rcjackie]

fun fic idea if anyone wants to read whatever this is!!! It kind of got away from me ngl

!!!!tw for swearing!!!!

okay so soulmates bagginshield au where the name of your soulmate is written on your wrist

except Bilbo’s soulmark is written in Khuzdul, so he had no idea what it says and only knows it’s dwarvish bc of his mother’s books/stories (or maybe he doesn’t know. there are no laws)

So Bilbo at the ripe age of 50 decides to leave the shire to look for his soulmate bc he’s not getting any younger and they have to be out there SOMEWHERE.

on the road he meets Gandalf, and bc that wizard is a grade A Meddler (TM) and knows exactly whose name is on Bilbo’s wrist, he sends Bilbo in the direction of Erebor

now I know what you’re thinking: how is Bilbo, a hobbit, going to get into a dwarf kingdom? well, Gandalf sends him there as his ‘emissary’ bc all good wizards need hobbit secretaries to deal with politics on their behalf, yes this is completely normal.

and that’s how Bilbo ends up as a diplomatic negotiator in a dwarf kingdom while secretly looking for his soulmate. and you best believe he does not know what the hell he’s doing for the first few days, but he’s a baggins AND a took so he bullshits his way through without problem.

and bc of his fake position as Gandalf’s envoy he eventually ends up meeting Thorin, the eldest prince of Erebor, who happens to be deeply suspicious of him and thinks he has ulterior motives besides regular politics

and Bilbo is like yes you’re right I do have ulterior motives but how dare you ASSUME—

cue the beginning of the enemies to friends to lovers pipeline

on the other hand, the first friend he makes in Erebor is Ori, who is the kingdom’s librarian. Bilbo asks him to read the name on his wrist and Ori nearly has a heart attack on the spot before running away bc he found the prince’s soulmate and he HAS TO TELL SOMEONE (that someone being dori)

and, of course, Bilbo misinterprets that as meaning his soulmate is evil. so then Bilbos only thought is FUCK I must have someone absolutely horrible as a soulmate. like how is their reputation THAT bad

so he spends most of his days sulking around Erebor, too scared to ask anyone about the name on his wrist, when he notices some shady figures doing shady figure things

being the naturally nosy hobbit that he is, he listens in, trying to uncover a bit of juicy gossip to entertain himself with.

except that Bilbo uncovers a plot to assassinate the entire royal family and indirectly saves the lives of almost the entire line of Durin. so now he’s being welcomed by open arms by the entire kingdom bc he accidentally speed ran becoming a national hero

this does away with most of Thorin’s distrust, and the two gradually get closer as Bilbo’s place in Erebor becomes more and more permanent.

and just. for plot purposes, Bilbo has been going under a pseudonym this whole time bc it’s a big world and he’s gotta keep himself safe yk, so no one knows his actual name

but now Bilbo’s like we’re friends now and I kind of saved your life, so I feel like I should probably stop lying to you ;)

Bilbo, holding out his hand: Bilbo Baggins, at your service

Thorin, about to keel over: What.

bc Thorin knows that name, as he has in fact been repeating it over and over again for literal decades. it’s the one inscribed on his wrist in a neat cursive, and suddenly everything falls into place.

Thorin, now ripping his own hair out: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOUR NAME WAS BEEBO TWINDLEWIRE???

Bilbo: I lied :D

unfortunately Thorin’s been having grand delusions of meeting his soulmate since childhood, already planning to woo them by acting like the perfect gentleman and by being on his best behavior—just to find out that it’s the guy that he’s been actively hating on (and also guiltily crushing on) for months

knowing this, Thorin begins pulling out all the stops to make Bilbo like him. he’s sending him handmade gifts, giving him rocks of great value and meaning, showing off his craft, and making sure to train where he knows Bilbo can see. Bilbo may not be in love with him yet but it’s only a matter of time, once he realizes that Thorin is such a skilled provider

Bilbo, however, is just…deeply confused as to why Thorin suddenly seems to go from tolerating his existence to sending him longing looks from across the room, along with many, many shiny rocks and various pretty things. not to say that he doesn’t like the attention, as he’s grown very fond of Thorin over his time spent in the mountain

Bilbo eventually just chalks it up to misplaced gratitude for saving Thorin’s life and moves on. so all of the courting rituals being thrown at him continue to go over his head

meanwhile Thorin is in the midst of planning their wedding bc Bilbo is responding to all of his offerings positively, and he wants to marry his One as soon as possible

(EDIT: IVE SEEN ALL OF UR NICE COMMENTS AND THEY ARE SO SWEET, if anyone writes/draws anything w this please TAG MEEEEE)

[carlyraejepsans]

normal woman with her normal... er. cat.

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[sam-reid]

Sam Reid on the Emsolation podcast

[vivisectedboy]

"Just focus on your breathing. Yeah, good, like that."

Whumpee tries their best to stay in control. To collect themselves. To stop their mind from screaming at how wrong all this is. To ignore Whumper's hand still resting on the knife.

"In," while Whumper counts to three on his fingers, "and out." an other three seconds.

It's uncomfortable at first.

"In,"

Their body isn't used to the rhythm, their lungs fill up too fast and too shallow, and their exhales are accompanied by miserable noises forced out of their throat.

"Out."

But their breathing steadies slowly. Their body isn't shaking violently anymore, their hands aren't desperately grasping Whumper's shirt, their thoughts getting less and less jumbled.

"In."

They recoil at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Sitting in their captors lap, his hands running up and down their exposed back. The same hands that held him down and scarred him forever.

"Out."

They hate how despite this, they managed to calm down. For a moment of impossible peace, only their breaths exist, and the warmth they've been craving for so long.

"In." He says, tightening his grip on the knife.

Their mind switches back instantly as they notice the blade shift in Whumper's hand. With the swiftest movement, it's now held against their throat, threatening to cut if they dare exhale too early. Panic sets in once again, their heart rate rising with every painful second.

They close their eyes as their vision starts to go black. Their chest feels like it's about to burst from the pressure.

"Out." After what feels like several minutes, he finally commands.

Whumpee is only relieved for a moment, as they exhale, but it doesn't last long.

It's even worse this time. Their lungs burn. Their ears start to ring, and they feel their heart pounding in their throat. Black spots start appearing in the corner of their vision again, and they just can't help it. They reflexively suck in a small, hitched breath. They, of course, quickly realise just how big of a mistake that was.

Whumper pushes the knife harder against their throat, and as they try to squirm away, they're stopped by his hands firmly holding his back.

"You only breathe, when I say so. Do that again, and I might just go a lot deeper. Understood?"

Whumpee nods, only driving the knife further into his skin. Whumper grins at their desperate struggle not to breathe, panic growing with each second. Even when he moves the blade, they don't make a sound, only the slightest movement and a small twitch of his facial muscles.

"In."

A horrible gasp, on the verge of tears. They can't cry, that would surely be the end. They keep staring at the ceiling. It hurts so bad. Drops of sweat roll down his neck, mixing with the blood from the wound. Their hands start to go numb, either from clenching them too hard, or from the lack of oxygen. Just keep looking up. They let their mouth fall agape, closing their throat instead. Keep looking.

"Don't pass out."

The ceiling is spinning. Is there a fan? Or is that just a lamp?

It won't stop spinning. It's so bright.

Keep looking. Keep looking. Up.

"You can do it. A few more seconds."

Where is that sound coming from? A repetitive thump-thump-thump from afar. The kind of bass that reverberates in your whole body. Must be a concert somewhere.

Did they turn the lamp off-

"Out."

[kisakis-boyfriend]

I am so feral right now because of Mydei-

I need to wrestle with him and ""accidentally"" brush my bulge against his ass. Or lock him into a position where my bulge is rubbing against his face, and all of his senses are suddenly flooded with my cock. Sweaty wrestling and grinding down while I pin him until I'm basically humping him.

The fucking noises he would make!!!!! Grunting nonstop, growling every time I gain the upper hand and make him feel weak and pathetic. Maybe I'll force him to lift his ass up and grind between his cheeks like a depraved animal. Mydei's eyes will roll into his skull, his mouth agape as he gets a preview of my fat throbbing cock.

Then, we actually fuck like animals. Desperate, sweaty, passionate sex. Mydei has never felt so stuffed in his entire life, staring at the shape of my cock as it carves its rightful place in his body.

And after that? We do it all over again. Now we're naked and wrestling again, except Mydeimos has less fight in him than before. His raw strength helps him a little bit, but I still have the upper hand as I toss him around like a doll.

Grinding my semi-hard dick against his chest while I sit on him, keeping him under my control. And all the crowned prince can do is lick his lips and stare at the tip that keeps thrusting toward his face, hypnotizing him. Mydei's own cock is hard again, pointing towards the ceiling and dribbling onto his own abs.

Cum leaks out of his hole the whole time. It drips onto the floor, smearing across the surface with every movement. At one point, Mydei's face is pressed down into a small pool of cum, and of course he licks it up, tasting my semen after it marked the inside of his ass.

We go for round two once I slide my dick back in, Mydei is still wet and ready to take it again, like a good prince. There's less struggling this time around, and instead, he's laying there with his legs spread so far apart, submitting to my superior strength and control.

My tongue is leaving no inch of Mydei's mouth untouched. And with a few more powerful thrusts, I fill him again, pulling out my cock to shoot the last little bit onto his shiny chest. We both smile and I collapse on top of his chest as exhaustion takes over.

[atsumutu]

zoro is not sure how much more of this he can take.

as the right hand man of an emperor, the swordsman had found himself in plenty of perilous predicaments, but never one quite like this. 

“okay, what do you think about this one?”

zoro gives you a once over. this wasn’t his area of expertise but he nods his head in approval anyways, just as he had done for all the previous iterations of your outfit. “looks nice.” 

“the other one goes better with the shoes though,” you hum, turning around to pick up your discarded garment before facing the swordsman again. “and it’s dressier. this is a bit too casual isn't it?” 

if he were a lesser man, zoro would have succumbed to this torture, possibly even stormed out of the room. instead, he takes a deep breath, opting for peace. he had survived worse. 

“i guess so.” he offers. 

“but i did want to wear my new earrings and they definitely don’t go with this...” your words trail off as you start reviewing your options again, getting lost in your thoughts.

groaning, zoro falls back onto the bed with a dull thud. unfazed by his dramatics, you start rummaging through your wardrobe in search of a better option. 

“okay okay, what about this one?” you ask, giving your boyfriend a little twirl. 

this time he doesnt even spare you a glance. “mhm, great.” 

“you’re not even looking.” you huff, lips puckered in dissatisfaction.

the pout is evident in your voice and zoro he knows he’s teetering on dangerous territory. lifting himself up to a sitting position, he rubs his face before peering up at you.

“yeah, looks good.”

unimpressed, you cross your arms together, shooting a glare at him. a life of piracy meant that date nights were few and far between so to say you were happy at the prospect of finally spending a romantic evening with your lover would be an understatement. but his lack of enthusiasm was really putting a damper on your mood.

“you’re not being very helpful.”

zoro’s eyebrows twitches. “i said it looks good, they all looked good. shit, what more do you want me to say?”

he regrets his words the second your arms fall to your sides in defeat, the eager spark in your eyes dimming.

sighing, the swordsman curses himself. taking a deep breath, he opens up his arms. “c’mere.”

hesitantly, you take a few steps towards him before his hands settle on your hips and drag you forward, thumbs softly stroking your sides despite his less than gentle handling. with him sat on the bed and you stood between his legs, he rests his forehead against your stomach. 

“sorry, baby. i shouldn't have snapped like that.”

the pet name doesn’t escape you, causing an eruption of butterflies in your stomach. it wasn’t all that common for zoro to be so verbally affectionate, being more of a show you he cares through his actions type of guy.

you sift your fingers through his hair, feeling him relax under your touch. “i just want to look good for you, zo.” you mumble, unable to hide the disappointment in your voice. 

the swordsman leans back sporting a subtle grin. “that’s one thing you never have to worry about.” 

“compliments won't get you out of this, mister.”

“yeah?” he challenges, hands sliding to the back of your thighs. “how about a kiss?” 

you pretend to think it over for a second before shaking your head in disinterest. “eh, what else you got?” 

zoro smirks, the grip on your thighs tightening as he settles them on either side of his hips, effectively placing you on his lap. “what was that? i haven’t heard any complaints before.” he growls, playfully nipping at your neck until you’re reduced to a fit of giggle. 

“fine, fine. but you’re paying for dinner.” 

“always do.” he scoffs. 

you lean forward, a sincere smile on your lips as you peck his. “you do. i appreciate it, a lot.” you say inbetween kisses.

zoro attempts a nonchalant shrug. “it’s nothing.”

“no really, zoro. you can be a real blockhead sometimes but you spoil me rotten, in your own ways.” 

“it’s whatever.” he grumbles, the tips of his ears reddening adorably, but there no chance to comment on it as he grabs your chin. “now, give me a proper kiss.”

[ninyard]

exy fans + Twitter (the au where andreil gets outed)

[strawlessandbraless]

Emmanuel finally convinces Daphne to peg him but the next day a handsome stranger shows up and her depraved husband won’t stop staring at him

And the first ex wife bites the dust…

[moonstruckme]

poly!wolfstar x reader or whimsical!reader would be absolutely wholesome Maee!! Love and hugs 💖 have a lovely day 💫

(to clarify I'm not the anon who mentioned wolfstar previously. I'm just a lovesick of these two lol. hope the request is ok! Sending good vibes your way✨)

Awh I love them so much! Thanks for requesting sweetheart, hope you have a lovely day too <3

cw: squished snail :(

poly!wolfstar x whimsical!reader ♡ 900 words

Remus comes home, juggling his umbrella with three drinks from the coffee shop down the street, to find you and Sirius kneeling outside your front door. You seem to be placing dead leaves in a circle around a wet-looking smudge on the ground.

“Um.” He steps under the overhang of your roof, adjusting his hold on the drinks to set down his umbrella. “What’s going on?”

“We’re surrounding the snail with dead plants so it can be nourished in the next life,” Sirius says easily. Like this is something he does often. “Watch your step, handsome.” 

Remus heeds the warning, stepping carefully around the circle and behind the two of you. That’s when he notices your clothes. 

For Sirius, wearing black isn’t so unusual. He knows it sets off his tattoos and comparatively milky complexion, and he loves nothing more than a dramatic juxtaposition. But you, Remus didn’t even know you owned clothes this colorless. Your dress is loose and flowy, an inky black that’s more of a contrast against your generally lighthearted disposition than it’s ever been against Sirius’ coloring. You look lovely as always, but like a dulled version of your usual self. 

“Are we having a funeral?” Remus asks carefully.

Your posture is slumped, droopy as a weeping willow. “Yeah,” you reply glumly. “I went to take out the trash, and I couldn’t see in front of me. I crushed them.” Your voice seems to quiet further at the end, some mixture of shame and mourning clogging your throat. 

“Them?”

“The snail,” Sirius clarifies. He rubs between your shoulder blades. “It was an accident, sweetheart.” 

You nod, taking in a bolstering breath. “A funeral feels like the least I can do to try to honor them after cutting their life short.” 

“Oh, that’s very thoughtful of you.” Remus kneels on your other side, ignoring Sirius’ sharp look when he can’t help a little grunt at the ache in his joints. He sets your drinks where they won’t get knocked over. “Maybe this was a very old snail, and you found it at the end of its life.” 

“I just hope they didn’t leave a family behind,” you fret. 

“I’m sure even if they did,” he says, reaching for his most reassuring tone, “their family would appreciate what a nice resting place you’ve made for them.” He pets the back of your head. “And that you’ve dressed up so nicely to say goodbye.” 

You turn your face towards the ground, and Remus notices a soft pout to your bottom lip. Sirius seems to spot it at the same time. The other boy lifts your chin to kiss at it sweetly. 

“Do you want to say a few words, lovely?”

Remus smiles over the top of your head at his softhearted boyfriend. Were it anyone else, Sirius would be making endless fun of them for creating such a fuss over a snail’s death, but because it’s you he’s in all the way. (Evidently, he’s learned his lesson after the time he squashed a mosquito in cold blood. You would hardly look at him for days until he apologized.) 

You nod, clearing your throat. “I hope you’re going somewhere with tall grass,” you say, “and lots of soft, wet dirt. And I hope this food gives you sustenance for the journey.” 

You mean the dead leaves, Remus supposes. He presses a kiss to the side of your head. “I’m sure it appreciates that, darling.” 

“And if you want to reincarnate as an elephant to step on me, I completely understand.” 

“Oh.” Sirius coughs. “Don’t we think that’s a bit far?”

“Yeah,” Remus agrees. “You’ve put yourself through enough already, that’s probably not necessary.” 

You look between your boyfriends, bemused. “I’m only trying to make things fair. I killed them first.” 

“I just think we ought to have a bit more faith in this snail,” says Sirius. “I doubt they’re out for revenge; they strike me as the forgiving sort. No need to relinquish yourself to an untimely squishing.” 

You frown. “I suppose you’re right. Snails don’t have very long memories anyway, so as a group they might not be very inclined to hold grudges…” 

“Exactly.” He gives your shoulder a loving pat. “Now, it looks like Remus has brought us something. Haven't you, handsome?” 

Remus gives you both a small smile, reaching for your drinks. “Here’s a coffee, and a tea for you, dove. Let’s get out of the cold and drink them inside, yeah?” 

“Okay.” You give the snail one last, speaking look before starting to stand. 

Sirius hurries to Remus’ side, forcing him to use the other boy for support as he straightens up, knees protesting. 

“Your hair’s all wet,” he murmurs. 

“I know,” Sirius gripes under his breath, but Remus can hear the fondness hidden beneath his grousing. “I figured you’d be upset if I let her go out in the rain to find her ceremonial leaves alone.” 

Remus chuckles and kisses his part. “I’ll make some soup before you both catch cold.” 

“She’ll only think it’s karmic if we do.” 

“No, not really.” Sirius hasn’t kept his voice quiet enough to avoid your hearing, and now you’re looking at him with an earnest bemusement. “It would be karmic if I got sick, but you haven’t done anything wrong, Sirius.” 

Remus tsks. “I think you’ve repented enough already, dove,” he says. “Let’s get you both dried off.” 

[tonydaddingham]

god is good baby, god is fuuuucking good

[oopshidaisyy]

lol. lmao, even

[koipepo]

It's so creepy (but also horny...) to think that Remmick was planning to turn Sammie while being surrounded by his vampire hivemind minions. Eyes glowing red, all chanting and drooling at the premise. He turned people before with no ceremonies or celebration , just doing it for survival's sake but that scene with Sammie... Maybe it's for dramatic flavor but it's also clear that Remmick is savoring the moment so bad... uwwoooghfoghofogohffl