#pretty depressing if you ask me

[thankstothe]

...

[tangledinink]

absolutely obsessed with gemini Donnie's piercings! They suit him so much! and i bet theyre fun to draw too!

you also mentioned tattoos! what kind do you think he would get? like what kind of designs and where?

Ah thank you! ; w ; I just think they're fun <;3 he deserves piercings... And yeee he has quite a few tattoos as well that he builds up over the years--

both his arms host meticulously planned, carefully considered, personal and meaningful full-sleeve pieces that were done professionally by sorrelshine's older sister, leafwhistle (she's the one who pierced donnie's eyebrow in that comic!)

his legs are where everything else goes. there are dozens of different pieces patchworked all over-- some done by leafwhistle, some by other artists, some by sorrelshine (who is not a professional, let it be known, but knows how to use a tattoo gun!), some even done by himself. he let leo do one once. mikey has done several. there's everything from stick-and-poke stars to little grayscale robots to brightly colored flowers down here, and he'll shove new things wherever they'll fit whenever he feels the urge.

[ gemini au ]

[myokk]

💘

[mitsybubbles]

Sometimes I remember that when Mob was 3 Reigen was 17 and Reigen makes a lot more sense to me lol

[ghostie-jakxy-gray]

aight, aside from the fact that 3 houses by Dave Malloy is now gonna Haunt My Waking Thoughts For The Week...

nah, that's it. The only pandemic play I can get behind. Proper amount of drunken revelry, fantastic amount of fairytale allegory, Yes She Does Smoke Weed, vindictive dragon spirits and knockoff tom nooks, cairns of amazon boxes, The Ending, The Set, The Parallels...

and the wolf. Gods help me, but I wanna kiss the wolf on his broken-toothed maw. dance with him. ask him for a metal straw. I'd be a furry for that wolf in his stupid knit sweater.

(And then, the harmonieeeeees my love, they're so perfect and ugly and pretty and the genre shifts and and and)

[actual-corpse]

きみとそらをとぶ　/ feat. 初音ミク & 巡音ルカ

Y'all... why does this give me intense nostalgia for a time I know I can never get back to?

Like... That's THE Pokémon song! The one you hear at the end of your journey. The one that makes you wanna go back to your mom and show her your Pokémon badges.

I really do love Pokémon lol. I love the games even though I hate battling. I'm actually in the process of trying to complete my Pokedex in Let's Go! Eevee, before I build my dream team for the Elite Four. I love my Eevee, I named her after my cat (as you do).

Idk... I'm tired, and in pain, and in my feelings about this song.

[ryssbelle]

My cousins made their own troll Ocs and I drew them in my style.

They were very excited about it

[chiimeramanticore]

[coldercreation]

PSA: 

If you have related to how I have described Nathan’s struggles with his mental health and some experiences with life; emotional, physical and social etc (ignore the story/his fam background for this; I mean if you have been able to relate to his feelings/anxiety/negative physical sensations etc.)

Might be worth it to get your blood checked. 

Especially B12, Vitamin D, Iron levels and Ferritin (ferritin should be 100+).

Building on top of the character, character background, and my research into trauma / mental health etc, I have always used a lot of my personal experience when describing emotions, feelings, and how mental health issues can feel like or present. It’s my attempt to make the writing feel realistic, had I experienced the things in the story or not. Aka even if the story was high fantasy and thus not realistic, I’d source my own feelings to make it ‘real’.

So. Regardless of what's causing it in the story: If you have ever related to how Nathan FEELS or describes his experience with the world and his brain… (Anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, feeling like an outsider/in a fishbowl, easily overwhelmed or over tired; social withdrawal, social anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pains, breathlessness, dissociation, irritability, issues with cognitive function; memory, overthinking, insomnia, brain fog, panic attacks, slow recovery from physical activity, etc etc et fucking c) 

Turns out bish has been chronically deficient of many things for a very long time due to stomach issues that stopped nutrients from absorbing. Antidepressants have never successfully worked for me, and it’s now looking like that’s because my mental health stuff could've largely been a physical symptom, instead of just purely mental health?? 

I have been on a pile of supplements for a bit now and uhh… It’s like night and day? Even with the other health stuff I've been getting treated for, it's been... So much better?? Like. Life changing amount of difference?? And I’m only just starting out fixing these deficiencies, which could take a long time. But...

Holy shit, “Better” might actually be a real thing after all?? There was a reason I've been so "stuck"???

Kind of mad… And sad. Because if this is true and I keep feeling like I have been recently, it means I’ve lost a lot of time to this. I try to focus on how good I’ve been feeling though, and stay curious for this journey of what literally feels like a second chance at life.

Just… Wanted to post this in case it could help someone else. This is a highly personal experience, mental health issues absolutely exist on their own too and there's possibly often overlap as well. But stuff like this can make existing mental health conditions worse too, so either way it’s worth checking. 

Yeah. So.

Happy new year?

From someone who might be pulling a whole Phoenix moment???? xx

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Uncle Neen! HYH! It sucks to see you struggling cuz you are a big inspiration of mine :( but you said you did your makeup the other day. Can we seeeeeeeeee maybe?

d'awwww ksahdlkdss, you are so sweet, nonnie! thank you so so soooo much, baby! xx i really needed this. i hope i heal ( i will...i have to, i am too much of an asshole to let god win, fuck him ) and i hope you heal from whatever harms you as well! you can do it! mWAH!~

-- also brb crying ;-; <3333 whenever y'all tell me i inspire you, it seriously makes me want to cry; you mean SO much to me, so to mean so much to you; it's Everything to me, my love. thank you for believing in me, know i believe infinitely in YOU and will keep fighting the good fight, living authentically and modelling pos behavior on this blog bc i take being a role model very seriously. :')

BUT ANYWAYS! sakhdlasd oh my god aaAaaAAAaa please!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE, THIS IS SO CUTE OF YOU, hELP AAAAA!!!!!! but yes, of course, of course. considering i am super bacteria nina right now and had to resign from my ( admittedly ) trash job and am no longer, at this moment, an education girlie ( besides on here, ofc, educating you on my two gay sons in love ), i can freely exist and post pictures of myself again! thank you for for giving me a safe place to do that. <3

i'll elaborate on what 'safe' means to me down below, but just for context i took this...sigh...last week, when i was told i would 'all better', just trying to feel like myself again after a month of being unmadeup and unfitted and ugly and troll-like and on death fucking row and fucking miserable as hell, i had my new hair appointment lined up, was about ready to take life by the balls again...and that shit BLUE BALLED ME SO HARD AND SAID *ravenstan vc* JK, BABY!

okay, sorry i have some really bad scarring and wounding up there by my neck so i had to cover her up but...there she is! the she beast!

as for posting pictures of myself just...please...PLEASE BE KIND. and i wish i meant that as a joke, i mean it very, VERY seriously. i am at a point right now, where i look my very fucking worst, i am weaker than i have ever been in my life, there are abrasions all over my body, which per the results of my culture ( i was right...several fucking times and no one would listen to me ) my body is trying to kill me and right now...it is Winning. ( i'm not gonna lose tho, dw, i am a nasty bitch from hell and i refuse to die this ugly, i fucking won't; choke )

tldr; I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HOW I LOOK. I DO NOT FEEL PRETTY, I AM LIKE ONE BAD COMMENT AWAY FROM TEARING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND I AM TELLING YOU GUYS I CANNOT DO THAT, I CANT CREATE ANY TEARING ON MY BODY OR THE BACTERIA WILL TUNNEL AND ITS HARD ENOUGH AS A BITCH WITH DERMATILOMANIA.

PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.

i know we shoot the shit on here and are funny and clown eachother, you guys are my family; it's what families do, but my boundary is that you can say i am pretty and be objectively kind or Please do not send me anything At ALL about how i look; i CANNOT take it rn. i know were just joking, but please, please, PLEASE Do NOT compare me to any ugly creatures, make me feel weird about any part of my face, tell me i look blurry, say anything is too big or too small…

please don’t meme on me abt my appearance...Ever.

it’s a very sensitive spot for me and makes me v anxious.

all this to say, i love you; thank you for being my home.

HYH.

-uncle nina, single ravesey mother and human petri dish

[napping-sapphic]

my boyfriend is trans, mtf but doesn't like that i consider my sexuality sapphic. what do i do? doesn't sapphic also apply to trans men?

Ah.

Another advice ask😓

Yall i appreciate that some of you feel comfortable asking me for relationship advice or that you might be comfortable here since im an anonymous stranger etc

HOWEVER, let me be straight up honest with you— i havent ever been in an actual relationship, im a MAJOR shut in so i’m not at all up to date with all the minutiae of the queer community, full on i have averaged leaving the house one (1) single time PER MONTH for the last FIVE months

I do not want to give you bad/naive/shortsighted advice

And i promise you do not want my bad advice

I am begging you Please do not ask me for advice i am so stressed

[cuteniarose]

who's lien-hua??

Short answer: My absolute child and the only OC I have cried genuine, REAL tears over. And not tearing up or sniffling a little, full on SOBS. Kat still owes me emotional compensation for that one 😤😤

Long answer: She's one of @katkastrofa’s OCs that I now have partial custody of. P'Li's little sister, born in 136 AG, a sweet cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure, no matter how damn overused that phrase is, it still fits her 🥺🥺🥺 When drawing her last year I accidentally made her look a lot like my friend's little sister so now I am always extra soft about her. But considering what happens, you can imagine the level of emotional devastation this is causing me and just how much this has affected my ability to look at Katya the same way ever again. Doesn't help that her older sister has an annoying tendency to wear her waist length hair in a brushed back braid...

Anyway, for reference, the baby girl, sweet girl herself, from about July 2023:

And now that you have been fully taken with this precious thing's cuteness, it is imperative I let you know that she is killed at age 7 by the warlord who tried to turn P'Li into a living weapon 😐

She's the living embodiment of a tragedy, a child born to be collateral damage, the one who could not be saved no matter what was done, the "it was always going to end this way" half of the tragedy dichotomy. A little girl unjustly killed as punishment for her sister not wanting to become a warlord's weapon, forever remaining as nothing more but a hazy memory of someone to protect. And I'm gonna stop now because I will start crying again, istg–

(There is a verse where she lives, though that is part of a much larger AU that can basically be summed up as "completely self indulgent mishmash of ideas, everybody lives/nobody dies, sunshine and rainbows and peace on earth, unless you're a world leader, then RIP", or as we like to call it, the Ultimate AU, because we never came up with a better name :P But getting into it would take too long and there really isn't too much to explain since it lacks a cohesive plot and is more a bunch of family shenanigans thrown together, so... moving on)

In Kat's fic Lost and Found the memory of Lien-Hua is the driving force behind all of P'Li's decisions, and she constantly blames herself for not having been able to save her (despite the fact she was a child herself, no older than 13), right up until the very end where she.. doesn't really get closure, per se, but is able to let Lien go, in the scene which I have affectionately dubbed "F.C. Yee owes Kat major royalties for this one, holy hell" #ifyouknowyouknow. But also Lien is a point of some interpersonal conflict since no one else can quite relate to P'Li in this case. Ming-Hua (while not present in LaF) is an only child, Zaheer is the youngest of three and was never close with his sisters, and Ghazan... well, his sister is two separate cans of worms depending on whether you're talking about Haya or Zada. Some pretty interesting stuff overall, really scratches my soft spot for family related dealings in fics, and I can't believe I just realised that P'Li's the only non-youngest child in the RL foursome, huh. It's oddly fitting, in a way, at least in my opinion

Oh, and also, Midori is a reincarnation of Lien-Hua :)

[mercyluvsyouuu]

People when fucked up media is actually Fucked Up and not just "haha silly little gremlin makes SEX JOKE?!?!🤯 so DEVIOUS..."

[fireheartedpup]

3 7 17!!!

Hi!!

A song you’d choose to introduce someone to your favorite genre:

Uhhhh. I used to use Wanna Talk About Me to convince people country isn't that bad. It worked.

This is how I was introduced to it btw:

These days I'm more likely to recommend someone like Darius Rucker (Wagon Wheel, it was all over every popular radio station here a few years back) because uhhh I am not a conservative Christian anymore. It's been. Interesting. I hate it, honestly. I'm glad I know better now, but believing in something was simpler.

I was thinking the other day. That the fact that I don't want to let go of things like this is probably related to how the church told me to get rid of everything "demonic." I got rid of some comic books I loved because of that. They burned a tapestry I got on a mission trip (while we were still on the trip) because of that.

I don't want to burn it. I want to keep what it means to me and leave the bad shit behind.

Anyway. I don't know if most people know that Darius Rucker is black. I keep meaning to build a list of black country musicians, because they get a lot of flack from racists.

I don't actually have a favorite genre. This one is just inextricably linked with my upbringing.

A song you know every word to:

I'm slowly memorizing most of Dessa's discography, I think. Very thankful for the person who introduced me to The Bullpen.

Yes, it's Marvel. The editing is great. Shh.

Dessa has this line in Dutch that says

"I keep Pope in glovebox, Plath on the dash"

I think that's a good way to summarize her writing. There's a play on words every other line. It's the sort of shit I could probably write essays about. I love her.

You kind of have to be in a specific mental place to appreciate her, I think. I wasn't ready for her at first when another blogger on here started mentioning her. Most of her lyrics are kinda moody and jaded. It felt oppressive until I got sad enough.

She tried to write an upbeat song and came out with something melancholy. She kept trying and came up with one of my favorites, and she's still comparing love to a business transaction. I'm obsessed with her.

"Sealed with a kiss, signed with an epipen

You gotta tolerate some risk if you wanna make a margin

Wanna make a friend? We can live a little large and split the dividends"

Listening to an album feels like reading a book. I like to mix it up most of the time, but sometimes it's time to just listen to a Dessa album again.

If anyone wants a simpler option, I sang Can't Help Falling in Love to myself at least three times today. There's a lot of options here, really.

A cover song:

Haley Reinhart's version of Benny and the Jets. First time I'd heard a woman growl. I want bucketfuls of this please. I'm not kidding, please give it to me

[starman-o7]

too many sad pop songs about breakups, not enough sad pop songs about depression, anxiety and not being able to envision a future for yourself

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.