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e-pluribus-unum-e · 4 months

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Haunted (1/?)

A/N#1: This is a Mattheo Riddle x OC fanfic, I did this just because I struggle with writing "Y/N" over and over again. I feel like an actual name for the reader helps you connect better, and I already struggle with being a personable writer. Please forgive me. The OC is named Veralynn Post, she goes by Vera. Idk her middle name yet so don't ask. She has long curly blonde hair, it reaches to her mid to lower back, it's also very poofy (think Hermione Granger). She has amber eyes, almost like whiskey and honey. She's 5'2 and a Hufflepuff. And she's from the US of A 🗽. It probably doesn't make sense why she's in a wizarding school in England but bare with me. Also I'll probably have smut in this at some point but that won't be until they're well into their 7th year.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Mattheo 🥵, my terrible writing, eventual smut but not until much later in the series

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Fem!OC

Summary: Vera's best friend finds herself in a whirlwind romance with none other than Theodore Nott. Vera reflects on her own love, how ever unrequited it is, and wonders when she'll finally confess to the man that holds her heart in his hands. 6.0k+ words

A/N#2: Dear Reader, Hello! This is the start of my very first attempt at a series LOL. I've written for my own enjoyment for years, but never on a blog or anything even similar to Tumblr. Last night at 2 AM I was hit with inspiration after hearing a series of songs play one after the other that reminded me so much of our baby boy Matty <3. So I have a timeline worked out and a list of songs I want to incorporate, one song per chapter, but that list is constantly changing because I'm trying to find the best ones possible to make this work. Also I'm starting them off in 6th year because yes, while they are minors, I need the time afforded to me by starting them off that young. No smut, NO SMUT, will happen before they're both well established 18 year olds in year 7. Please let me know how I can improve with my writing, it means a lot. It is my absolute pleasure to present you with the very first chapter in my Haunted series, When Emma Falls in Love. ---Sincerely, Me

When Emma Falls in Love

When Emma falls in love, she paces the floor Closes the blinds and locks the door When Emma falls in love, she calls up her mom Jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong She waits and takes her time 'Cause Little Miss Sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain When Emma falls in love, I know That boy will never be the same

Emma Hemlock is my best friend. I met her at Platform 9¾ on our first day at Hogwarts, and ever since then, we've been joined at the hip. With her dazzling blue eyes and her straight brown hair, her tan complexion, and her warm smile, she drew the boys' attention immediately. They would scramble to write her love letters, asking her on dates and whether or not she'd give them a chance. And she never said yes. Until, now.

Theodore Nott had been asking her out since 3rd year, always being met with a resounding "NO." He even asked me for advice!-- "C'mon Veralynn! What's her favorite flowers? Does she like butter beer? When does she-" "PISS OFF THEO"-- (spoiler alert: we didn't get along). But it seems he finally 'wore her down.'

That's such a terrible expression. At least, that's what Emma says. She explained that 'no, he didn't wear me down, I just finally had the courage to say yes.' Or something like that. In all honesty, her hesitation to say yes in the first place made sense. Theo had gained the reputation of a ladies' man, him and the rest of his crew. Draco Malfoy, Lorenzo Montague, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, and Mattheo Riddle.

Mattheo.

A man who could simultaneously get my heart racing out of fear and attraction. Fear of him, fear of the attraction, attraction because of the fear, however, you want to put it I don't care. But we'll get back to him later. Right now, it's all about Emma and her love life.

Emma finally said yes to Theo's persistent nagging, making him quite literally the happiest man in all of Hogwarts. No seriously, he ran into the Great Hall shouting "SHE SAID YES! WE'RE GETTING MARRI- OW, DAMN IT VERA!" (I may have thrown a dinner plate at his head).

So here I am. Waiting, sitting on the couch in our dorm, my arms wrapped around a pillow as I sat on my legs, watching the door in anticipation. They started dating in the summer. Emma's family had decided to spend their two months break on vacation in Italy. They ran into the Nott's while they were there. I have a theory that Theo caught wind of where the Hemlock family would be that June, and he begged his parents to let him go spend the summer in their family villa.

All that being said, they had had a whirlwind romance that didn't end when the warmer months came to a close. It's only the second week of our 6th year and they've gone on a total of four dates. It's almost hilarious how utterly whipped Theo is for her. That boy will never be the same.

Creeeeak. The door was pushed open—interrupting my thoughts—and Emma slipped into the room. She locked the door behind herself, her face looking... oh that's weird. She paced across the floor, closing the blinds, effectively putting an end to the bright sun I was basking in. I had expected her to come in, huffing and annoyed with the latest story on Theo's escapades. But this time, no, this time was different. Her eyes held a different story. "Vera..." Her grip on the window loosened as she turned towards me. Her lip trembling, and her eyes squinting. Suddenly her face split into the widest grin she's ever given me. "Vera-" "I know." We smiled at each other, one sincere and one feigned.

"I need- I need to send an owl to my parents. I need to ask my mom- oh shit this has never happened to me before. Vera, what do I do? What is this?" She started rambling, all the while her smile remained and she ran over to her desk. She pulled out her stationary and began her letter to her mother. "Ughhh I shouldn't even be writing to her about this, it's going to end in disaster anyway!"

What made me chuckle was the way she said it. The words were foreboding, but her smile never slipped. She didn't really expect this to end in a 'disaster.' "Write your letter, Em. Tell your Momma you're falling in love." I encourage softly from where I remain seated, nuzzling my face further into the pillow between my arms. Emma nods at me, eyes crinkling yet again as she leans back over her letter.

Okay, sure, maybe I don't sound as excited as I should for my closest friend. That's not the case, I am excited for her! But now's the time when we finally get to talk about Mattheo.

Chocolate eyes, curls the color of rich dark dirt, dimples when he smiles, and the scent of cigarettes and rain that clings to him no matter where he's been. To be frank, the man is liquid fire. And everyone else in Hogwarts noticed that too. And he took advantage of that fact. He had a new girl on his arm almost every day, never coming up empty in the 'love department.' But it was never love. Everyone understood he was never and would never be interested in anything serious. The problem with this?

Well that requires a bit of explanation.

I met him the same day I met Emma. Before her, even. I had gotten lost in the muggle train station trying to find the right platform, getting bumped into by grown strangers who didn't seem to notice the lost little girl tripping under their feet. I was born and raised in America until being invited to Hogwarts, and unfortunately, my parents couldn't afford to come with me to this wild train station. So I was all alone, trying desperately to find my way to Platform 9¾.

~flashback to that day~

I huff, dragging my luggage behind me as I try my best to push through the crowd. I couldn't see many children, which gave me my first clue that I wasn't in the right place. It was mostly muggle adults going to and fro, not glancing down to notice the small poofy-haired kid all alone. My thoughts were interrupted as someone slammed into me, "OW" I cried as the luggage slipped from my fingers. It hit the pavement floor below my feet, buckles popping open as the contents spill out. I shake my head in disbelief, looking up to see who knocked into me. All I saw was the back of a grown man walking away from me, seemingly the culprit, and also seemingly ignoring the fact that he just ruined an 11-year-old's day. "Hey wanker, watch where you're going!" I jump, startled at the grumbling voice ringing in my ear.

That wasn't my voice. No, that was behind me. Turning around, I gaze upon—for the very first time—the boy who would turn my whole world upside down. He was wearing jeans, and an almost too-big-for-him flannel, his curls falling effortlessly over his forehead as he glared past me at the man who just Kool-Aided into my back.

His eyes flickered from over my shoulder to my belongings on the ground. Wordlessly, he crouched down and started folding up the clothes and slipping them back into my suitcase. "Oh- no no that's okay you don't have to- I mean- agh this is such a mess." I scramble, trying to stop him from helping any further. 'This is so embarrassing.'

I squat down next to him, working side by side to get everything packed away. His hands stopped moving at the sound of my own voice, his head turning toward me as he took in my appearance for the first time. "You're American?" "Uh-" I blush, distracted by his pretty frown. "-yeah." I finally answer, a bit dazedly. "Cool." He responded. We just sat there, chocolate eyes looking into amber, until the distant sound of a train's horn broke us out of our trance. "Riddle. Mattheo Riddle. Where are you headed?" The boy asked, sticking his hand out for me to shake.

"Oh! I'm Veralynn Post, um, you can call me Vera. Everyone does." His eyebrow raised at that. "E-Everyone back in my- HEY!" I gasp as he starts laughing. "I was just teasing you Anna, no need to fret. But seriously where are you headed?" He tried to quiet his chuckling as he lifts my bag from the ground, carrying it along with his (and refusing to let me take it off his hands).

I took out the letter in my pocket, looking at the information it contained. "Platform 9¾." He seemed to ponder that for a minute. "I don't think that exists..." My eyes widen. How could I be so stupid? He's a normal not-wizardy-boy and here I am, spilling all of Hogwarts beans to the first person who would listen. Maybe if I play it off like I'm a dumb tourist he'll just forget all about it. Wait- is he laughing? OH THIS BOY- "Man it's easy to trick you. Lighten up, Vera."

My blush deepens, but not out of embarrassment. No, I was mad. "That's not funny Mattheo, I'm genuinely lost and alone and you're laughing at me." He seemed to soften at that, his laughter quieting down. "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you." "I'm not laughing." "Hmm... touché." The way he said it made me want to punch him in the face.

Mattheo seemed to notice the anger in my eyes as he straightened up. "All jokes aside, I'm headed there too. We can walk together?" He offered, looking at me apologetically. "...fine, but no more teasing." "That's too high a price." "Fine," another huff from me, "you can tease if you want to but at least make it obvious you're not being serious."

His grin grew. "You're funny, Vera."

~end of flashback~

I met Emma when we got onto the train, and ever since then, I've had an unrequited crush and a best friend. Emma was everything I could have asked for; a dear friend, a confidant, and a sister. And I will always remember that day in fondness for when I met her, but alongside the sweet memories of a friendship comes the tainted recollection of a lost love.

Mattheo and I have remained friendly up to this very moment, as I watch Emma fall in love with his best friend, Theodore. But after I was sorted into Hufflepuff and he into Slytherin, we went our separate ways. Never being close but always painfully aware whenever he walked into the room. In his defense, it's not like he ignored me or anything. We were amicable with one another, just not in each other's core friend group.

The sad truth is, is that girls tripped over themselves because the kind boy I met seven years ago grew into Adonis reincarnate. They notice him because he's effortlessly good-looking and always seems to get great grades, even when he's constantly skipping class to smoke or make out with some girl in the broom closet.

His chiseled abs, strong jawline, and generally Greek-god-like physique (thank you Quidditch) made him a heart throb.

However, the female population of Hogwarts treat him like a piece of meat. Even though they're aware that he’ll cast them aside after just one night of being in his embrace, not only being aware but wanting it because no one really wanted to love him. Him. I've had to watch as everyone acted as if he really was just a carnal beautiful body and not a soul.

Sure, his core friend group (Pansy, Theodore, Blaise, Enzo, and Draco) didn't care about his looks. From what I've observed, they genuinely care about him. But after years of almost the entirety of Hogwarts not caring, I've noticed how it's worn on him.

And it's not just Hogwarts and their obsessive drooling over him, it's his home life. His father in Azkaban, his mother dead, his brother ignoring his existence. He had an abusive childhood and the roughest of up bringings. The very same women who will beg him for one night in his bed, turn around to gossip about how he's the next Voldemort.

So very few people cared about him.

And I've noticed how it's worn on him.

I've noticed lots of things.

I've noticed how when he walks through the food line, he never takes the last of anything, always leaving it for the person behind him. How he hangs behind after dinner to pick up the plates and trays our fellow students were too lazy to clean up themselves. I've noticed that whenever a girl in our year comes into class with bruises on her body, her boyfriend is in the infirmary the next day and there are cuts on Mattheo's knuckles. How he slips treats to the magical creatures when everyone's too busy listening to Hagrid's lecture to even notice the exchange. Everyone is too busy to notice, except for me.

I've spent my entire Hogwarts career falling in love with a boy, who grew into a man, all while I remained unnoticed.

I hang on to every word I hear him mutter to Theo, to every nod he sends my way as he walks past, and the rare time he asks me for my notes after he misses class.

So here we are, back in my dorm, watching my best friend's love life blossom before my eyes. Yes, I'm happy for her. But yes, I'm also, admittedly and ashamedly, jealous.

'Cause she's the kind of book that you can't put down Like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town And all the bad boys would be good boys If they only had a chance to love her And to tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her

I tried to listen as Cedric droned on, talking excitedly about this new book or muggle movie or something. To be honest, I've missed about 90% of what he's said. I slept roughly two hours last night, staying up to be Emma's sounding board. 'She really has fallen hard for this guy.' I think to myself as I glance across the Great Hall. Theo was sitting at his usual table, with the usual people. One of those people is Mattheo...

Mattheo laughed at something Enzo said, leaning across the table to grab food off of Pansy's plate (much to Pansy's protest). 'I hope he has a good day.' I sigh, looking back down into my cup. I had my hands wrapped firmly around the mug, sipping the warm black nectar. Emma still teased me after all these years, calling me a "Yank" for preferring just plain old coffee over tea.

A masculine rumble broke me out of my thoughts as my eyes flickered up again to see what was happening. Oh. Theo was here. And he was yapping, per usual. What, when did he get here?

The man in question was leaning his hand onto the table to my right, looking down at Emma who was in between us. "Hey, honey..." He muttered, their voices getting collectively quieter as they got wrapped up in each other's presence.

I rolled my eyes, sitting up slightly to grab Cedric. He leaned forward, but not willingly. My hands firmly grasped his collar to pull him halfway across the table. "AH- Vera let go-" "Not until you get me a new dorm and a new table. I can't handle it anymore, DO YOU HEAR ME? TOO MUCH THEO! TOO MUCH!" I shouted, sleep deprivation getting to me.

Theo stopped whatever poem or other crap he was reciting for my friend, looking up just to glare at me. "Oh stop being the anti-Cupid just because you're jealous." I turn my head, poor Cedric still being subject to my grasp, just to glare right back at Theo.

"Jealous? What the hell would I be jealous of? The fact that y'all effortlessly behave as if you got SLEEP LAST NIGHT?" "No, jealous that no one got you flowers." "Flowers? What flow- awwww Emma those are so pretty!" I push Cedric back down, turning fully in my seat to see the pretty roses in her hands.

She smiled up at me, nodding. "Someone told him they were my favorite." Her lovesick grin made me crack a genuine smirk. I sigh, feigning disappointment as I respond, "Too bad they lied."

"WHAT?" Theo exclaimed, eyes widening in horror. "Veralynn Post quit lying to my boyfriend!" Emma cried out as I just laughed harder. "Sorry, sorry, I had to."

I straightened up my posture, leaning back over my food, finishing the rest of my coffee as the lovebirds said their goodbyes. We both watched as Theo made his way back to his side of the Hall, sliding in to sit next to Mattheo.

Mattheo.

He was looking right at me. I smiled hesitantly at him, but he just looked back at his own friends, conversation continuing like it never stopped.

Oh.

My heart skipped a beat and not in a good way. This happened sometimes. I'd think he was encouraging me, I'd make an attempt to reach out, he'd go back to acting like I barely existed. My thoughts wandered to Emma. Emma. She seemed to be a natural at taming the 'bad boys.'

She had broken down the walls of her man, her man who was so misunderstood and underappreciated. Theo wanted to be good for her. It was like she was a drug he couldn't walk away from, a book he just couldn't put down.

My final thought echoed in my head like a constant ringing in between my ears as my eyes felt glued to the man who held my heart. And I knew—I knew that while I was happy to be myself—that sometimes on the coldest of nights and loneliest of days, when the absence of his love and affection rang the loudest... sometimes I wish I was her.

Well, she's so New York when she's in L.A. She won't lose herself in love the way that I did 'Cause she'll call you out, she'll put you in your place When Emma falls in love, I'm learning

It was only the start of our 6th year, but every morning felt as if I was waking up on death row. Like my days were numbered, and with each passing minute, the executioner took another step closer. I've always been able to comfort myself by saying, 'It's okay that I can't hold him in my arms. At least I can be near him.'

Being in his presence alone has always been enough for me. His aura, his being, his soul being in the same room as mine has been enough for me to be content. But with graduation comes the end of it all. The end of us. The end of him. You might be going, 'Ah but graduation is just next year! You have time!'

Time? Time? It's taken me six years to get to this point and you think one more will be the difference between my anguish and my happiness? The time needed to cause a change? When him and I, two separate souls, intwine to become just us? No. There's never enough time and I'm too much of a coward to try it now, with another year in Hogwarts, where I would have to suffer not only 6th but 7th year in embarrassment and rejection. Because Mattheo Riddle doesn't want an us.

'Who am I even kidding? There is no us, there never will be. I sound like a fucking stalker.' I scoff, aggressively zipping up my bag. Potions had ended a while ago but apparently, I spaced out, only coming to when Professor Snape closed a desk draw rather loudly. It was only me and three other students in the room with him, taking our time to pack up and clean our workstations.

"-Vera. VERA." My eyes snapped up, noticing Emma waving her hand in my face. I grimaced, pushing her hand away. "How long...?" "A few seconds." She answered, frowning. I squirmed under her scrutinizing overlook. Her eyes swirled with a flurry of emotions; confusion, doubt, concern, etc. "What? Do I have something on my face?" She frowned deeper at that.

Chuckling nervously I hiked my bag over my shoulder, leading us into the hallway as we began our trek to the courtyard. Once a week we always pack lunch ahead of time, and then walk down to the Black Lake to have a picnic together. It was the highlight of my day and the pick-me-up I've really needed this past week. 'I just hope we can get there before we run into Theo.'

Theo's been really good for her, and he's been really good to her. Honestly, never thought I'd say it, but he's become like a brother to me. I usually look forward to our playful banter and then watching him whine and pout and tell Emma she hasn't spent enough time with him, but something's been off with him lately.

His behavior is as if he's walking on eggshells around me. His glances were full of concern. His questions, 'How are you?', 'Do you need to talk?', etc., etc. have been way more persistent. Nothing about me has changed, at least I don't think it has. I have no clue how he's somehow gotten the skill to look right through my mask.

I risk a glance over at Emma, eyes narrowing. She was chewing her lip, her fingers tap tap tapping. It was a trait she picked up from me. She used to complain about how fidgety I was, constantly having to at least drum my fingers or shake my knee to be able to focus. Something that became more incessant as I would get nervous or uncomfortable.

And then I noticed her doing the same thing whenever she got... nervous. 'You must have rubbed off on me,' she'd say. Well, it's a two-way road, Emma. Because your annoyingly empathetic self rubbed off on me too.

I left her with a habit she hated, and she left me with the ability to read her emotions like a book. It had it's benefits. We push through the bustling crowd, making our way to the ‘glass room,’ as we so eloquently coined it in our 1st year. It was a room with an entire wall made up of windows and an almost simple back-patio-like door that worked as one of the many exits that led to the courtyard. It was our favorite, just because of how homey it felt.

I twist the doorknob, pulling the door open for her before following her outside. There was a small friendly match of quidditch being played on one side of the courtyard, some kids were studying, and there was just a general bustle of life out there. Both from the students and from nature. As we walked down the steps and into the grass, further past everyone, weaving through all the hubbub and finally getting away from all the prying ears, I turned toward Emma. We continued down to the lake but now we finally had privacy.

“Emma, what’s been up with you? You and Theo, now that I mention it. It’s felt as if you’ve both been… watching me. It’s kinda weird.” I nervously laugh, running a hand through my blonde curls to push them out of my face. Our black robes with yellow accents swished with our movement, though Emma’s posture noticeably stiffened when I spoke up.

She slowed to a stop, hand reaching out to grab my own and making me halt right alongside her. “Em?-” “I know.” “Know what?” “I know you’re in love with him.” Time seemed to slow. My heart quickened and my hands started tap tap tapping. I tilted my head slightly, looking at her closer. I never told anyone, I never spoke a word about my feelings.

Which means she noticed, she caught on, and she figured it out. She’s the only one who could’ve figured it out. Theo’s too dense to have- she told him. “Love who?” I spat out, anger simmering just below the surface. She caught on to that too. “Matt-” I yank my hand from hers, stomping away from her and towards the water. “Vera! I’m not judging you- stop just stop running away!” “Running?!” I whip back around. “You told Theo!”

Her eyes looked wet, her lip trembling as she took in my ruffled appearance. “I didn’t.” I scoffed. “I didn’t.” She repeated with a firmer tone this time. “He knows you enough to know something is wrong, but he doesn’t know what is wrong.” “My- my love isn’t wrong. It’s not the end of the world for someone to be loved by me.” I shutter out running a hand down my face as I try not to spiral.

I know she didn’t mean it like that, I know she didn’t mean to have that heart wrenching look of pity in her eyes. But I could just hear what she was thinking, my insecurities clanging like a gong in between my ears, ‘Oh Vera, how could you ever think he’d love you back?’

We stood in a field. Surrounded by tall grass and beautiful wildflowers, a lake just a few feet to our right, a tree about two yards to the left of us, and the sounds of our school echoing down the hill and filling the uncomfortable silence that fell upon us.

“Vera…” My friend’s words cut through that very silence, voice sincere. “...you love with a love so loyal, that you are content with standing on the sidelines for years. You love, with a love so fierce, that you will defend and fight and protect even when the object of your desire doesn’t take notice. You think I haven't noticed your absolute adoration toward the boy? I picked up on it back in 2nd year. You can’t keep secrets from me, you know that.” We both laughed through tears at that one.

I looked at her in shock, not knowing what to say.

But she quickly spoke up before I could even fully process what she said before, “You love with a love anyone would be blessed to receive. But the fact of the matter is, you absolutely suck when it comes to confessions.”

My eyes narrowed at that sudden change in tone, getting whiplash from how fast she went from serious to downright insulting. It would be funny if the situation wasn't so emotional.

“You watch him from afar, you love him at a distance, but graduation is closer than it's ever been and you’re letting him slip through your fingers. I’ve watched you lose yourself in this love for long enough. It’s time, Vera. Tell him or move on but I won’t let you throw away our last years at Hogwarts just because you were trying to hold on to something you’ve never had.” I flinched at that, looking back toward the ground.

“I-I don’t know what you’re saying…” Evidently, Emma crossed the distance separating us, and I felt her hands comfortingly squeezing my shoulders. “I’m saying… it’s time you come clean. It’s time you tell Mattheo you’re in love with him.”

Emma met a boy with eyes like a man Turns out her heart fits right in the palm of his hand Now he'll be her shelter when it rains Little does he know, his whole world's about to change

So I told him I love him.

KIDDING. After Emma surprise attacked me in that field, I ran back to our dorm and hid until noon the next day. She gave me her notes and we caught up on all the classes I missed, and then we talked for hours about him. And I told her everything.

Everything I felt toward him, everything I loved about him, everything I knew about him. She just smiled at me and rubbed my back during it all, giving nods of encouragement as I stuttered over my words.

The days went by as I tried to figure out what to do. I’d sound absolutely bonkers if I just went up to him and professed my undying affection. I’d become every other girl! ‘Except this time, it’d be a girl who truly cares about him…’ I thought bitterly to myself.

Every time I started to brainstorm on how I could run into him or get his attention, I felt like a crazy person. Like someone could peer into my thoughts and watch as I spiraled further and further into the madness of conspiracy theories and red string. It felt wrong to be so… calculated with him. He deserves better than that.

So I stayed quiet, waiting for an opportunity but not pushing it. Waiting for the stars to align and him to drop in my lap. Waiting like I’ve been waiting for the past six years. My frown deepened at that thought, heart weary as I walked into Transfiguration. Three things immediately drew my attention to the far corner of the room.

The object of my affections was actually… attending class.

He was sitting in my seat.

He was staring right at me.

I gulp, hands flexing around the strap of my satchel, nervously and uncomfortably holding eye contact with his gorgeous chocolate pools, the windows to his soul. The only way to describe the emotions swarming in those very same windows, was… curiosity? Amusement? Warmth? It was hard to tell at this distance—the occasional student walking to their seat or passing by to meet up with their friends making it hard to gaze wholly into his eyes.

‘Oh how I wish I knew what you were thinking…’ I shake my head, breaking that train of thought as well as the spell Mattheo and I seemed to be under. A shoulder bumps into me, reminding me I was planted in the doorway. I crossed the threshold, walking towards Mattheo— my desk.

“I’d say I was happy to see you but I’d be happier if I had my own seat.” I prodded jokingly as I sat down rather heavily in the seat to his left. A laugh slipped out of his lips, the corners of his mouth curling into a smile, throwing his head to the side to look at me. “Your seat? I’ve never seen you sit here, baby.” Mattheo teased, eyes glinting with humor.

I felt my cheeks burn at that comment. He said it so casually, that term of endearment that I would give anything to hear him say with meaning.

Our interactions always went this way. He'd shamelessly flirt with me (making me feel as if I couldn't breathe), I tried my best to meet his challenge (occasionally I got him to blush too), and it always ended with him walking away without a backwards glance. ‘Stop, stop thinking that. He’s talking to you, talk back!’ My inner Jiminy Cricket chides.

“You’ve never seen me sit here? Well, darling, I’d have to say this is the first time I’ve seen you in this class. It’s no wonder you’ve never noticed me sitting here.” Mattheo’s eyes widened slightly at that but his smile never faded, pleasantly surprised respond with your own pet-name.

“Wizards and witches, quiet down!” Professor McGonagall called out, dropping a heavy book onto her desk. The sound of the loud thud echoed as the surrounding voices hushed to a silence. She had everyone’s attention. Well, everyone except for the two kids in the far corner.

We continued gazing into each other’s eyes, brows furrowing into an almost challenge to see who’d turn away first. “Ah, Mr. Riddle. Glad to see you bothered to grace us with your presence.” The older woman clicked her tongue, effectively pulling us apart, our eyes breaking contact as our heads whipped toward her. “Talk to me after class.” McGonagall made sure to stare point blank at Mattheo, voice steady and tone devoid of humor. “Fuck, she looks mad.” I put my hand over my mouth, holding in a snicker at Mattheo’s whispered comment as our teacher begins her lesson. “Stop, you’re gonna get us in trouble.” I scold, opening my notebook and reaching into my bag looking for a quill. Oh crap.

My eyes widened in panic. No quill. I started unzipping the different pockets, rummaging around, hoping that with enough silent begging and prayer, one would just magically appear. ‘It’s fitting we’re in Transfiguration… maybe the lesson will be on “Making Your Own Quill.”’

I’m pulled out of my inner grumbling with a tap on my shoulder. I was bent over toward the side, in between Mattheo and I’s tables, searching as silently as possible for anything to write with. So the sudden feeling of two fingers tapping my arm made me jump slightly.

I glance up, seeing the prettiest and most annoyingly smug grin. “If I lend you a quill, will you lend me your seat?” He asked, tapping on the chair he was leaning back in. I frown, eyebrows furrowing yet again as I sit back up. “You not only brought one, but two quills? I didn’t know you owned a notebook.” I whisper back, happily shocked to find out he had planned to pay attention today.

“No, I brought one. And trust me, it was a spur of the moment decision. Deep down we both know I wasn’t gonna use it anyway. Just take it.” He finally pulled out the writing tool from his bag, sliding it onto the wood slab in front of me.

“Mattheo I can’t take your onl-” “You can, and you will.” He smirked, insisting. "Well..." I sigh, nodding as I picked up the feather. "...Mattheo Riddle. You are my hero." "Call me any day baby, I'm happy to rescue such a beautiful damsel." His eyes glinted with amusement at my burning cheeks.

He turned back to face the front of the class, his heart stopping stupid ass grin staying plastered on his gorgeous stupid ass face. ‘He called me bea-HE CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL. What the heck is happening.' I close my eyes, breathing in and out a few times to try to get control over my racing thoughts.

'Will I ever get used to the utter heart palpitations this man causes me to have? It’s like a rabbit is trapped in my chest.’ I shake my head, looking back down at my journal.

I didn’t even know where to begin, utterly lost in this day's lecture as the past however-many-minutes was spent paying attention to Mattheo and panicking over my lack of writing tools rather than the actual subject Professor McGonagall was droning on about.

My thoughts wander back to what I was thinking of before I saw the beautiful boy to the right of me. I’ve been waiting for six years. For six years I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to drop in my lap, or for Riddle to come profess his love to me, or something, anything. I can’t even remember at this point.

I was tired of it all. Tired of waiting, tired of not knowing, tired of not living just because I yearned for something I didn’t have. I dip the quill in the ink, hesitating as the tip hovered over paper. The ink gathered at the point, almost falling off and splattering on the white page.

I glance to my right, gazing fondly at him. His profile, his curls, his general posture as he tried to pretend he was paying attention but he was simultaneously fighting sleep. His eyes kept fluttering shut and he was slumping further and further down into his chair.

I look back down at the paper. I’m tired of waiting. And so I began writing.

I met a boy with eyes like a man Turns out my heart fits right in the palm of his hand Now I’ll be his shelter when it rains Little does he know, his whole world's about to change

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seethesunny · 2 months

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4 what is the plot bunny you've been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven't written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

33 do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

90 do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

Hey Ameera! Thanks for passing by :)

4. What's the plot bunny you've been carrying the longest? Do you ever wonder why you haven't written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Okay so this is kinda tricky because I HAVE played with this concept before (it's one of my favorite things to write), but the "Ellie is Tess and Joel's bio kid who Tess gave away without telling Joel and things happen like canon requires au" Tess POV retelling fic has been a plot bunny of mine since ages and it's been in my head like a little parasite buuuuut nothing has come out of it? At least not being this /canon adjacent/, that's what I mean!

For starters that idea would be overdone by now (and I'm sure people more talented have tackled it well enough) plus mine was also a mix of a Tess origins fic; she's technically Anna in this, or at least that's what Marlene makes Ellie believe, and she's tied to the fireflies while this is all a secret to Joel and only Tommy is aware but he leaves anyway.

Both Joel and Ellie are clearly oblivious, but Joel connects the dots the farther they travel and Tommy confirms this when they reunite + Marlene was supposed to tell the truth in an attempt to get Ellie back and have the cure (you can't let Tess’s sacrifice be in vain, Joel) yet he doesn't spare her life. The last part is going to be recycled for a segment in whumptober, though.

So it hasn't been made and probably won't be made at this point, I can't promise it will 😅 if you want to be devastated the line: "She gave life to Ellie, and gave her life to save her." Is what Joel thinks while he carries her to the car, and he feels no remorse in keeping their daughter alive and safe.

Also you can have this thingy from a random note app between my grocery list and wifi password:

"You know about your parents, girl?" The teenager shakes her head, avoids her eyes, "Marlene never told you anything?"

"Anna." Tess is so confused, but doesn't need to ask when it clicks; a fake story, a lie just like her own reason to give this girl away. "She only told me my mom was named Anna."

They keep walking, Joel is still ahead of them. She sighs relieved.

They will never know.

It's a bit sad, but it's for the best.

33. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

Characters first, then plot! If I have no idea what characters are doing and adding to the plot or how they're supposed to fit, then I can’t work at all haha this is why in my outlines I need to specify their importance to the story so it feels satisfying, you know? It's also that my stories are character centric and they're my main focus 🫠

90. Do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

Annoyingly so! Like I said previously, the more I write, the more I influence everything, and that's very distinct to who I am 🫡 I hope it doesn't come off as pretentious but sometimes you kinda notice those small details only after you've written it, and you understand it's very you.

#ask games #writing ask game #writing asks #fanfic writer ask game #seethesunny mailbox #ameerawrites #my writing #my fic tag

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jedi-qui-gon · 6 months

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Mental health and Comfort Characters

It was difficult to post this, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to...but we all need to pay more attention to mental health.

Here’s a very important video my cousin made, about art and mental health-

Mental health and the arts. I get pretty vulnerable in this one. Probably too vulnerable, but I think this is an important topic we… | Instagram

It really stuck with me.

As an artist – one who writes - I have my mental health struggles. Sometimes I feel like my works are average, never ‘good’ or great’. And sometimes I feel like I’m not improving, that my writings will never reach the levels of the writers who’ve created and published Star Wars novels like E. K. Johnston (writer of the Ahsoka novel) and Claudia Gray (writer of Master & Apprentice). But I know it’s just the mental health issues talking, I just gotta keep practicing!

My cousin does therapy. Though for me, since I’m deaf/hard of hearing and struggle to understand people I don’t know well and often strangers don’t understand me, therapy for mental health the ‘standard way’ just seemed too daunting. But my cousin shared a link more recently for deaf and hard of hearing accessible mental healthcare that’s chat based. Hope to give it a try soon!

And recent events in past months haven’t helped my mental health at all.

I was away on vacation with my mom and my grandma in January of this year to Texas. It started off good but things went awry towards the end and my grandma’s health took a downturn. But thankfully she improved and we were able to go home.

On the 29th of January, I had worked on notes for my therapist for when I do the mental health therapy. It got too much to finish in one day, brought up old painful memories, triggered and upset me. But it is needed for the therapist but didn't want to push myself too hard, it’s not something I need to finish just yet.

If that had been all I would have been back to writing and posting by now, but sadly my grandma passed away on February 6th …still recovering. I was so upset I hadn’t posted any fanfics since then.

Related to my mental health, there’s something called ‘comfort characters’ and here’s what my Bing Search said -

“A comfort character is a fictional character from a film, TV show, book, or video game that someone thinks of in times of distress, to help them feel better. A comfort character can make the person feel comfortable and safe, because they relate to them, look up to them, or feel like they have a special bond with them. A comfort character can also provide a sense of security and order in a chaotic world.”

Qui-Gon Jinn and Ahsoka Tano, both from Star Wars, are surely my comfort characters.

Qui-Gon Jinn used to be my favorite, first got into Star Wars via the Prequel Trilogy long ago.

Back then, I was such a fan of Qui-Gon I had ‘Jedi Qui-Gon’ as my Fanfiction.net username, Xbox gamertag, and used a picture of him as my profile pics on the sites I had accounts on. And have recently changed my usernames on the sites I felt like doing so to ‘Jedi Qui-Gon since he’s still my second favorite in Star Wars.

It’s safe to say he helped me through the last year of High School back in 2011-2012. It got so bad I considered dropping out but hung in there. One saving grace came out of that which was my high school graduation party my family had. I had requested a cake, a Star Wars Qui-Gon Jinn cake and loved it!

More recently, in the new 20’s and onward, Ahsoka Tano became my favorite Star Wars character, Qui-Gon became second place. Ahsoka is my profile pics for most of the sites I have accounts on.

At first I had just liked her. But after the Ahsoka novel, Star Wars Rebels, Season 7 of Star Wars the Clone Wars, and her appearance in The Mandalorian; she became my favorite. And loved her appearances in The Book of Boba Fett and her show too!

And a reason I’m happy for that, her content, Star Wars, and more Qui-Gon content as well is because I used to be a fan of Harry Potter, written by JK R*wl*ng. When she revealed her ugly hateful self and dove into the abyss of evil, I felt betrayed. And that did not help my mental health at all.

To help deal with the hurt jumped in Star Wars more, and Ahsoka Tano. I feel Ahsoka would have some...choice words directed at the sleemo…especially for tricking children…

#writing #mental health #Ahsoka Tano #Qui-Gon Jinn #mental health awareness #mental health matters

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br1ghtestlight · 1 year

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i know you didn’t rb it, but i wanted to send you some fanfic writer asks anyway (if you want to do them!!) how about - 3, 4, 18, 19? 💖

AWWW this is so sweet thank you!! of course!!! <3

3. what’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

i feel like it would be a lie to say anything other than my genderfluid gene fanfiction just bcuz i spent a ridiculous amount of time on it and still reread it somewhat frequently lol but other than that im also proud of the fanfiction i wrote abt bob's mom and her death :) very interesting themes to explore and i liked writing the childhood flashbacks

4. how many wips do you have right now?

there are so many i couldn't even count them all probably at least 30+ but for fanfictions im actively working on or TRYING to work on uhh maybe like 5 or 6 depends on the day. always starting new ideas

18. what’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

i definitely dont remember every line of dialogue ive ever written so i might be forgetting something but i really like linda talking to louise abt consent as a toddler ("Louise, I promise that we will NEVER try to steal your bunny ears, or tell you to take them off and not give them back to you afterwards. Not ever. We know that you love your bunny ears, and I made 'em special for you. Even if you're the baddest, meanest girl in the whole world, those bunny ears belong to you. They'll always be yours. Nobody is ever allowed to take them off without your permission, except for you. Not even Mommy or Daddy is allowed to do that.") and tina telling zeke that she'll always be there for him ("I'll be here for you no matter how scary it gets," Tina whispered.)

19. give us a small teaser from one of your wips

not sure if this counts as small but it doesn't make sense without the full context i dont think?? not even sure if im ever going to finish this one but its cute. it isnt from my tina x jimmy jr childhood friends to lovers fanfic btw this is just a silly sleepover fic i was writing

Jimmy Junior looked at Tina as she talked. She was wearing purple horse pajamas and he thought that they looked cool. "Do you want me to paint your nails?"

He had to have zoned out of their conversation, because he had no idea what was going on but Zeke was looking at Tina like everything she was saying made perfect sense. He had a goofy smile.

"Hell yeah! I want you use black for mine, and give 'em red and orange flames comin' off my fingers. That'll look cool as hell."

"What about you, Jimmy Junior?" Tina asked.

Tina was never cruel to him. She'd never teased him for his lisp or said that his dancing was stupid and annoying, even when they were fighting and she had every reason to be insulting to him. He wasn't always an amazing friend to her and he hadn't said enough how much he appreciated that she'd been there for him since preschool. They'd grown up together. Tina had been around when his younger brothers were born, and when his parents got their divorce finalized and he couldn't stop crying during school. They'd played together on the playground and shared their first kiss at her thirteenth birthday party, and through everything Jimmy Junior always knew that Tina loved him and had a good heart. Better than his.

He still couldn't help but pause for a second and try to figure out if she was trying to embarrass him or make a mockery of him somehow. Nobody had ever asked to paint his nails before, and he'd honestly considered makeup something that was completely forbidden. It was condemned only to his mother's bathroom cabinet and taken out when she was going on a date with somebody she wanted to impress. He wasn't ALLOWED to wear makeup.

#idk if i can fully take credit for that tina dialogue bcuz it was partly inspired by something else lol #ask #bob's burgers

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dearestpartnerofgreatness · 2 years

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37 and 42 for the fanfic ask

Ask here

Thank you for the questions!!!

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

Other than the sort of cheesy title, I'm proud of my Tangled fic--I love New Dream and the Lance & Eugene friendship, so that was fun to write. I always look for fics where Lance and his relationship with Rapunzel is a main factor in the central plot and even though there are some really great ones, there are so few that I wanted to write one myself. I feel like I was able to incorporate some interesting aspects of Rapunzel's character, such as how her trauma impacts her relationship with her mom. Also I felt like it was very important to include Pascal and Maximus in some way, because they get ignored a lot, lol.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

Honestly @myargalargan commenting on bruise belies the break made me SCREAM because they are basically the Sukka queen! (I am still working on that by the way, I promise! I have 2/3 of the next chapter done and hope to post it soon.)

Also, SO many of the comments on shadows & steel warmed my heart!!! Of course @shrinkthisviolet and @ohsalamanders' commentary was vital to the piece, and hearing from so many writers I love like @raspberrylimonade, @avrelia, annavale23, starbunny86, Dilittantism, etc. was incredible. I think my all-time favorite comment journey though was this from @savethelastdan (Shespitsfire on ao3) when she was live-reacting:

"You would have simply found her waiting on your bed, draped in silks, ready for you to unwrap.” Somebody's been reading Lo and Li's smutty bodice-rippers in her spare time

"If they’d been caught in a forced marriage, that reunion would have been far more romantic than the one he had just described. They probably would have run away, rejecting the archaic tradition of betrothal altogether. Two heart-eyed outlaws shunning sexist ideals, enjoying plenty of meat and sarcasm along the way" looks like Zuko's been catching up on his own collection of romance novels

"The way the lanterns illuminated her mouth as it moved was fascinating, and he wondered if she knew this. If she was using the fact to her advantage." Maybe I'VE been reading Lo and Li's bodice rippers in my spare time because this is *chef's kiss*

Honestly if you read comments on fics that aren't yours I highly recommend you take a look at hers for each chapter because she is HILARIOUS.

#fic ask #tangled #avatar #fic writer ask #tangled fic #rapunzel fic #maiko #maiko fic #avatar fic

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rayslittlekitten · 2 years

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Can we please have a director's commentary for Captain and the Siren? 💖

Hi!! Thank you for this. Directory's commentary is very fitting because all my fics, I picture them all in my head as if I'm watching them while writing them and sometimes it can be challenging to find ways for me to translate the image to text in a way that the readers can see my vision and how I want to tell the story.

Anyhow, oh, man Captain and the Siren was not originally planned at all. I had wanted to write a fic involving a few things: gun play, primal play/chasing and sundress. Then I thought, I can use water gun play. That would make it a little less intense, but I had written it for Ray in Cooling Off.

While writing "Cooling Off", I had wanted to do a more fun, lighter and sensual version because "Cooling Off" was much kinkier. So I thought, Dad!Will and his wife can use a moment. That universe is mostly about Will and his daughter, but I wanted to give mom and dad some sexy time and I thought this is perfect. So I had to come up with a scenerio that involved all three of those things and it was surprisingly easy.

There were times though in getting to the sexy moments, it was a little clumsy. At some point I almost made Will super prudish, but because my headcanon of this version of Will is, he would always be respectful of his partner and doing things to their partner that seems degrading to him probably wouldn't make him comfortable. So I had to rewrite it in a way that showed that without him being so prudish.

After I think I accomplished that, everything mostly wrote itself. I initially didn't expect it to be as fun and playful as it did in the beginning, but I am very happy with how it came out. The silliness shows how they can still laugh and have fun, but it doesn't ruin their moment.

At some point in the middle of writing this, I also randomly thought about including another element, of the wife feeling insecure with her body and Will showing appreciation for it. That was something I actually had wanted to do, but before this fic idea came so I thought there was an opportunity to slide it in there and when I did, it became a different kind of fic. If anything, it really made it better because on top of the playfulness and silliness, it underlined the kind of relationship they have.

I also feel like Will would be someone who would show so much love for his partner and appreciate every single part of them. Actually, I think this was almost like a sexy and shorter version of Modern Muse which is written almost like a love letter from Will to his partner. He takes his time to show his partner how beautiful she is, even if she thinks it's flawed, in particular to aging and having had a baby.

I was very glad the siren idea came about. It was a continuation and play on their awkward roleplaying in the beginning. The siren thing isn't explored or mentioned too much but I played on the idea a little like when I mentioned how her moans were like music to Will's ears, enticing him. I thought it was going to be a bit cheesy but went with it and I think it worked out well.

I really enjoyed writing this one. Just finally being able to give Will and his wife a true moment to themselves was just great. I'm hoping to write more sexy times for them in the future.

Thank you so much for asking about this ! 💖

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

#inbox #fanfic writers director's cut

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ann-writes-universes · 2 years

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Hello :) this is very random but I feel like I need to get this off of my chest so we will see where this goes. I just wanted to say thank you for not making elain just an absolute monster in you fics. (I mean you definitely can if you want but from what I have seen you don’t) I don’t even know why it means so much to me. I think it might because I feel like I relate to her a little (or quite a bit) and for good or bad.

But I think we all can relate to her a little bit, from situations and the things life throws at us, to personality traits or beliefs, I think there is something we can all relate to elain at least a little.

So why do others make her this monster? Because she is boring? Because she wasn’t in a book as much as other characters? Because of her trauma response? Because she didn’t help feyre growing up? (I feel like this reason only works if said person does not like neesta as well, but every one l o v e s neesta now)

These may be reasons she is not your favorite character, but not reasons to make her the absolute monster a lot of people and fic writers make her out to be. She may not be a real live person, or fae if you will, but she and the other characters live in our hearts, our stories, the books, and how we talk about them and tell others about the stories/characters. Maybe it is because I relate to her, or maybe I see that there is more to her story then what we have been given, but my heart hurts when she is turned into a horrible character in fics. Could Sarah J Maas turn her into a character that is mean and nasty, sure, but she hasn’t. So I don’t see why people make her this big monster that they absolutely hate.

To make a very long story short, thank you for not making elain into the big scary monster that some people have made her, because for some reason it means a lot to me :) (also sorry this is all over the place and probably confusing)

Okay, THIS.

Let me preface this by saying I LOVE a good Elain/Reader angst/brawl (I also live for drama). But to me, Elain is not a malevolent character.

I think we (including myself) tend to forget that the Archeron sisters were children when a lot of their trauma occurred. Feyre was small when their mom died which puts Elain being not much older. I think its easy to separate them as characters and attribute characteristics to them while forgetting that she ALSO had extreme trauma occur.

To me, Elain is often seen in the fanfic world as too in love with Azriel to be kind to other characters. In reality, Elain just seems terrified to me. She doesn't want to be with Lucien because she wants choice. She doesn't want to be a fae, she doesn't want to give up the life she had JUST gotten back. Who else do we know that didn't want to do things because it was forced? Feyre. So why demonize Elain?

Elain is described as having enjoyed the life they lived prior to losing their money. She is by all means the "maiden" archetype for a large amount of the series.

I like writing Elain as a softer and more approachable character because in my head she is. Let's not forget that she was also hardly a late teen when she was kidnapped, and hardly a preteen when their life fell to shit initially. She had never been taught to do things on her own and never been forced to do them. Did she help Feyre? no. But lets keep in mind that Elain was so far into being groomed into a courtier that she didn't even know how to help herself.

I ramble on all of this to say: You arent alone in how you feel. Everything I just said is not to discredit people who write Elain in this way (hell I have some drafts that are anti-elain) but I also think, like anon said, we should keep the field and even playing ground. I (for a long time) was anti-Elain AND anti-nesta (i still have some thoughts on her). But at the end of the day all three sisters are incredibly different characters who responded to their trauma in the best way they knew how.

Thank you for enjoying my writing and sharing your thoughts <3 I love discussing different views/opinions of my work and the ACOTAR series in general!

Please feel free to message me anytime about anything! I loveeeee to talk (this goes for everyone!!!<3333)

#azriel acotar #acotar fanart #acotar fanfiction #acotar #annwrites #annanswers #elain archeron #archeron sisters #feyre archeron #nesta archeron

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linklethehistorian · 2 years

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🤗

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Oh gosh, a lot of things, really; in fact, there are so many things I could say that I’ll probably miss a few along the way as I’m writing this, and have to add to it in reblogs in the future.

For now, though, let’s see…

(Full answer under the cut for length)

1. Ignore the naysayers.

I know, I know — this advice probably sounds cliché and basic as fuck, but hear me out.

One of the most important things I ever started to learn as a writer — and still continue to do so in new and crucial ways, as time marches on and I gain more experience — was the value of not giving a shit about the naysayers.

When I was younger, I used to let the criticism of everyone — both constructive and destructive — live rent free in my head all day, every day, and obsess over making sure that my works were always as picture-perfect, innocent, and problem-free as anyone else told me they should be.

It was the biggest mistake I ever made, it made my life and my hobby a living hell, and looking back, it is the one thing I genuinely and thoroughly regret the most about any of my older works.

To explain this in better detail, here’s a little story-time for you:

When I was little, I would always have my Aunt telling me, “You shouldn’t write stories that are so dark, and [series I was writing for] isn’t meant to be so dark and ugly.” or, “It’s not healthy; there’s something wrong with you if you like writing things like this. You must enjoy things being hurt because then you get to feel good about helping and protecting them. It’s sick; you’re like those disgusting mothers who poison their kids so they can get pity and attention from it.” So, I would hesitate to write any major level of angst in my stories from that point forward.

Then, when I wrote a somewhat less “dark” story, she would tell me, for example, “No. You can’t have the Mom be in the wrong for what she did in this story. She was just looking out for her kid, and right to stop him from making friends. The kid is in the wrong and he needs to pay the consequences of his actions. Rewrite it.” So, I started re-writing it, but then quickly lost my passion and eventually abandoned it completely.

After that, I would eventually try to write a story for a different fandom — a book I loved dearly — and she told me, “Oh god, not that. That story is so stupid; you’re too old to like that, anyway.” Depressed and feeling stupid for ever even wanting to write it, I then abandoned that idea, too, before I’d even gotten past the first page.

If I tried to write multiple stories at once, swapping between them whenever I had writer’s block on the other, she would tell me, “Write one story at a time! Real authors don’t do that!” And if I complimented something in a book I read, saying that “as a writer myself, I really enjoy this”, she would quickly snap, “you’re not a real writer.” As a result, I stopped writing multiple books, even if I had the inspiration for them, and for a long time, I stopped daring to even call myself a writer.

Because I listened to someone who wanted to control and ensure that whatever I wrote would stay purely to her personal tastes, values, and interests, I let so many ideas that could have been born into the world die before they’d even taken their first breath and allowed myself to stay feeling inadequate and irrelevant. Would some of them have sucked? Would most of them have been cringe in some shape or form? Yes. I’m sure they would. But…I would rather have had those sucky, cringy books exist than to never get to see what I would have created — to never get to find the bits of good and overall interesting premises that yes, would also have come to be through each and every one of them.

I can never stress this enough, but please, new fanfic writers and even just writers in general: DON’T be like young me; don’t listen to the naysayers in your life who tell you that you shouldn’t write whatever the hell you want, however the hell you want, and whenever the hell you want. Do not let them get in your headspace over anything.

The thing you need to know about these people who tell you that what you want to write is “problematic”, “boring”, “uncreative”, or “cringe” in some way, and that you shouldn’t do it for your own good and reputation, is that they are all just like my Aunt: that is to say, they do not genuinely care about you or what is in your best interest — they are not genuinely trying to protect you or steer you on the right, most healthy path. Yes, they may claim that they do care and want the best for you, and to some extent, they may even think that they do, but at the end of the day, when push comes to shove, what they really want most is just to control you, so that they can stop you from creating content that they dislike and don’t want to have to see. Thus, rather than doing the actually healthy thing by learning to curate their own experiences in life and teach those around them that it is fundamentally okay to not share the same interests and opinions with everyone around you, they choose to guilt trip you and manipulate you into believing you are the one who is in the wrong, and who needs to be re-educated to recognize the dangerous non-conformists who may look like they are just minding their own business and hurting no one, but are definitely abusing and/or encouraging abuse to real live people and animals behind the scenes. (Because they write about the topic, so it must mean they commit or at least condone these things in real life, too, right? /sarcasm)

I promise you that these kinds of people and their moral grandstanding over things that aren’t even real in this world is far more harmful and genuinely problematic than anything fictional you could ever imagine and write or draw, and that if you went to an actual, licensed therapist and asked them their opinion on the matter, they would undoubtedly confirm that with no hesitation.

It may seem harmless on the outside to give in to one of their demands — that it’s not worth the fight, but I promise you, if you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. It will keep extending further and further from one thing to the next until there is basically no longer anything you are “allowed” to write or draw that isn’t one or two universally accepted “completely healthy” pairings, in “completely healthy and happy, ideal” settings, in which nothing even remotely bad or mildly disquieting ever happens or is said — if you can even do that.

And this applies to more than just tropes, genres, characters, ships, plots, or what have you — these controlling people will exist about other things, too, and they must be ignored the same.

There will be people out there who will tell you that fanfic writing isn’t as good, fulfilling or creative as writing original works. It is bullshit — bullshit that, if not based on an intentional desire to control and manipulate your actions, is at the very least born of the incorrect and extremely biased belief that fanfic writing doesn’t count as “real writing”; ignore it, and do not feel pushed to create wholly original works if that is not what you already want for yourself and are passionate about.

There will be people out there who will give you so-called “writing advice” which tells you that you must never do a certain thing (such as using a certain phrase, perspective, or writing style) regardless of circumstance, and that if you do, that’s automatically a negative thing and makes you unprofessional and a bad or fake writer; ignore them the same. The reality is that many famous beloved authors of the world have either intentionally or unintentionally ignored certain so-called “rules” of writing and are still enjoyed and loved all the same — and sometimes even all the more because of that particular, unique, characteristic ‘style’ they created in doing so.

Constructive criticism can be great and help you grow leaps and bounds on your journey, but that’s the key thing about it; it has to be constructive, and furthermore, what may be typically considered constructive for one person may not be for another. If something is negatively effecting your headspace and making you more miserable and unhappy for having experienced it, that is not constructive — it is destructive, and you need to either find a way to make peace with it and be better for it, or cut it out of your life.

If you don’t want any criticism towards your writings, then try your best to communicate that nicely and outright to your readers; most nice communities (especially AO3) will largely accept that, and those that don’t can and should be blocked or ignored.

2. Realize that someday, you are probably going to look back at your old works and think that they are very cringe, and that that is perfectly okay. Remember how I said “ignore the naysayers”? Well, that applies to you, too; remember that you are almost always your own worst critic, and that if you let that hold you back, you will miss out on a lot of good things and experiences in life, too, as well as depriving other people of that privilege through what you could create.

If there is something you want to write, then write it; don’t sit back and overthink all of the potential negatives to doing so until you’ve talked yourself out of the idea, and it never comes to be.

Yes, it is very likely that someday all of the fics you are writing now — even the ones you love the absolute most — someday will be things you will look back on and, in some manner or form, think are “cringe”, but that is okay. It is okay even if you think it is cringe now; don’t be afraid of being ‘cringe’. Cringe culture is dead, as it rightfully should be, and you don’t need to try to resurrect it out of guilt or self-depreciation.

Not only is it a sign of growth for you as a writer to be able to look back on something and say to yourself, “wow, that’s something I would never do if I wrote this today”, but it’s also important to remember that just because something may be cringe or outdated to you and your current style, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone else to whom that very creation means the world or massively brightens their day.

Don’t delete your old works. Don’t prevent yourself from writing new ones by gaslighting yourself into believing they aren’t good or valid. Don’t hold yourself back from experimenting with new things that you may want to try just because it may turn out a disaster; that’s the only way to grow and learn. Don’t be afraid to be derivative or “uncreative” by writing something that’s just barely different from the source material, if that’s what you enjoy. Don’t be afraid to be repetitive by creating five thousand slight variations on the same story or trope; not only is that a valid thing to do, but there are also many people out there who are looking for exactly that.

All in all, just, don’t let you hold yourself back from something you genuinely want to do and will enjoy — in writing or drawing.

3. Don’t pay attention to the numbers. This can be a hard one to stick to, but it’s very important. All too often, we end up getting stuck comparing ourselves to others and the success that they have, instead of enjoying what’s right in front of us, and it’s not healthy or good — not for ourselves, and not even for others around us.

While it may be tempting to pick up the pen and try to write for a more popular series, trope, character, or pairing and rake in some of that sweet, sweet instant gratification with the big numbers, it’s important to remember that not only do those numbers not matter in the grand scheme of things, but also that nothing that is big and popular ever simply started out as being big and popular — and nothing else will ever have hope of joining that list of big and popular if you aren’t willing to take the first or another step in making it so.

That big ship you’re thinking of right now that gets all the kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscriptions, and hits that you wish your fic had? It didn’t start out that big. The most popular and successful fic of all in the biggest fandom you know? It didn’t start out as the most popular or successful; it started out just like your fic did when you first posted it, like your ship did when it first came into being by the first person to think of it.

Things can only gain traction if they have people behind them, loving them, creating for them, and engaging with them, and every person who gives up on them because they’re not popular enough is one less chance that thing had at eventually becoming popular, just as that biggest ship or fic out there needs people who love it to keep engaging with it and standing by it in order for it to remain “the most popular”.

What you love desperately needs you, and you do make a difference for it; don’t turn your back on it and end up doing something that doesn’t make you happy — or at least that makes you less happy — just because it isn’t popular or doing the numbers right now. Someday it might be. Until then, be the change you want to see in the world.

The fic that I’ve written which I love the very most and have worked on the most and the longest is also the most obscure and niche one of them all — and yet, it did gain something of an audience of its own. It is beloved by more people than I ever anticipated it would be, because I didn’t give up on it — because I made it happen and dedicated myself to continuing that, and it can only grow more popular the longer that I do.

You can make your dreams come true, one step at a time. So don’t give up.

4. Write things based on what you love, not what you hate. Obviously, this is advice that requires nuance and extra consideration based on the individual situation, but as a general rule, I feel that this is a very overlooked and yet very valuable piece of advice for all sides of a given matter.

I’m not saying that is always wrong or even completely impossible to write about something you wholly and purely hate, and still have it come out a good and positive thing to put out into the world, but the trouble with writing about something you completely despise — or for which you even just plain feel nothing but a general dislike — is that it is very, very hard to remain unbiased in doing so, and therefore highly increases the chance that you will create an extremely negative misrepresentation of that thing in some way.

If you absolutely must write about something you hate, I strongly advise that you at least tag it as a hate fic and/or (preferably and) put a disclaimer before the fic stating outright that it is such, that you hate or dislike it, and that as a result you may not be capable of accurately representing that thing in every way.

As someone who has accidentally read fics of this nature before about something that I hold very dear, I can tell you firsthand that it is not the least bit enjoyable to go into the tags of your favorite ship or character and stumble upon an untagged, self-congratulating hate fic that pats itself on the back for how ‘accurate’ it is, with no regard or warning for people who actually love or at least enjoy the character or ship.

I, for example, never wrote a fic centered purely around Paul Verlaine and his character pre-Storm Bringer because, at the time, he was the character I just loved to hate; I had nothing good to say about him as an individual, and writing a fic about only him purely for the sake of shitting on him would have been an extremely terrible use of my time and energy, and of the time of people going into the tag for his character looking for nice, or at least accurate, representations of him. Now that I have a better understanding of him and can appreciate all aspects of him — not just the negative — I am happy to write about him, but, I would never write a fic just about Fukuchi in the present moment, because in that same vain as before, I have nothing positive or interesting or wholly true to contribute about him in his tag (not to mention I’m not really particularly interested in him to begin with).

All in all, while I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t do it if you’re willing to give the proper tags and disclaimers, I promise it’s really just not worth your time or energy, when you could be spending it instead on something you love.

And if you do write a hate fic and you don’t tag or at least give it a disclaimer, well, make sure that you at least state outright you don’t want constructive criticism, or else you shouldn’t be surprised if you end up with people who frequent those tags telling you that you’re not writing the character or ship accurately, because it will probably happen sooner or later.

5. Somewhat related to the end paragraphs of advices 1 and 4, don’t ask for constructive criticism if you don’t want it, and make it clear if you absolutely don’t. While most people — especially on AO3 — will not just submit criticism, constructive or otherwise, on a fic unless you make it absolutely clear that you actively want it, if you truly want to avoid having criticism submitted to your fic for any reason, it is best to state that you would prefer positive comments only (especially if your writing community is one that does leave criticism a lot), as it will save you a lot of trouble. Likewise, if you do want more than the usual amount of criticism, you should feel free to ask for it, but please make sure that this is truly what you want, or else you may not like what you receive.

I have encountered fic writers in the past who request, “please tell me what you honestly thought of the fic!”, only to then later delete any and all constructive criticism that their readers take the time to leave them. Please do not do this; it is a waste of time and energy not just for you, but for your commenters, as well. If you don’t want something, don’t communicate to others that you do.

6. Be as passionate as you want; don’t worry about being ‘normal’ about your interests. I know this is technically related to the third bit of advice, but seriously, what is normal is completely subjective to the individual and it is also completely overrated. Don’t sit stressing about if you act ‘normal’ or like something ‘a normal amount’; go crazy with it! Be over-ambitious about your creations and your interests! Make as much content as you want for it, spread it across all mediums if you desire! Make a music playlist that ties into it! Make a blog centered all around it! Post regular updates and exclusive content like it’s famous! I did all of this and more for one of my fics, and I’ve had the time of my life with it.

Embrace your inner overenthusiastic eccentric and have fun. That’s what hobbies and fandom are all about.

7. Be kind and supportive to yourself and others wherever you can, and mind your own business when you can’t. It’s unfortunate, but many times in life, when we get caught up in the rush of things and the height of excitement or negative emotions, we can forget to show kindness, love, and understanding to ourselves and to others. It��s important to remember to take a deep breath now and again, and consider those needs and feelings that we would otherwise ignore. The schedules we sometimes create for ourselves are amazing, and they can help us keep on track, but they aren’t the end-all, be-all to writing and being a writer; don’t obsess over them and let them run your life or expect other writers to uphold them all of the time, either. Taking breaks for your mental, emotional, and physical health is so, so important and so necessary, and it’s something we all should be able to do judgement-free from time to time when we need it.

And furthermore, remember that just as you have your own interests, so do your other fellow writers in the world; sometimes they may move on and change fandoms, or have fictional interests that you don’t like or agree with. It’s important in those times to realize that that is okay, and that they are valid. It’s important to be able to say to yourself, “it’s not my business”, respect their right to do what they love, and move on to something that is your business and that you do love, yourself. Don’t harass or insult other writers in the heat of the moment over something that isn’t your business or they didn’t ask you to negatively comment on, and if somehow you do, make sure you apologize and learn from that mistake going forward.

Fandom is a big place, and there’s room in it for us all to co-exist and thrive.

—

Send me another emoji and I’ll tell you about myself as a fic writer.

#linklethehistorian #Thoughts #my thoughts #My writing #meme #fanfic emoji ask #fanfic writing meme #ask #ask game #anon #ily anon #thanks for the ask #writing #advice

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kindchenschema · 4 months

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greys anon back again👋uni was kicking my ass but the semesters over and im caught up now! didn’t really care for the finale/season but i loved reading ur thoughts! im also giving the show an out this season because ik the strike messed things up but how uneven things were made me long for the end tbh😭 bc if this is the writers running on empty it’s kinda embarrassing and cliche and they need to get all the OGs back for s22, give everyone closure and wrap it up on a high note. i need greys to end with dignity lmfao like that’s the bestie

& so is bailey, who was the best part of this episode (saw ur tots about her and simone and although i don’t go there—they had cute tender moments but i rly wanted simone and maggie to smooch last season & im loyal plus ive always been partial to bailey & callie lezzing out together) and amazing in the end. the fact that they’re did all that for lucas tho, laughable—simone needs 2 let that mf go already my god! ik she won’t but im choosing 2 believe they’ll free her next season bc im over it. she’s better than this) as is the fact that lucas is staying and yasuda is leaving. just nasty and cruel and lesbophobic to me specifically. hers and jules’ almost kiss moment was so intimate and convincing i almost looked up fanfic of them but i don’t think there would be any at least not yet. greys non canon lesbian ships are so under-appreciated tbh 1/3 (this is so long sry in advance!)

hey greys anon bestie <3 finally replying to you!! (same here, this one comp sci class i'm taking is like. consuming my life. but in a good way)

aww thank you ^^

girl, i've thought about this SO MUCH like from a writing/showrunning standpoint I have literally no idea how the show could end. imo it has to be some kind of a full circle moment with meredith and ellis and carousels and alzheimers, and probably derek and just as many OGs as they can get to come back. kind of like what they tried to do in season 17, only way less shit. but they would need dempsey&co back for that not to mention ellen (which btw i do not get like is she back or is she not back? wasn't she supposed to leave? like wasn't everyone freaking out that meredith was leaving? So much ado about nothing smh) so i kinda doubt that will happen

it would also be a slay if the last scene of the show is zola visiting meredith in the nursing home (a parallel to meredith and ellis) and meredith has alzheimers but there are photos of derek, lexie, cristina etc beside her bed and zola is telling her how her surgical internship is going and meredith is like "i think i used to be a surgeon once" and zola is like "yes, mom, you were" SDFGHJ or however it went in s1. but ik everyone and their mom has this as their theory for the ending so i doubt it will happen also.

AND something that would be a huge wig in orbit moment is if they already filmed the ending back in 2004 and it's meredith waking up after her one-night-stand with derek in the pilot and it's like woa.. it was just a dream.. and then derek is like hey i'm derek and meredith is like cool can we skip to the part where your wife struts in bc i wanna marry her. which might happen tbh ! we will see 😌

anyway NO I DO NOT WANT IT TO END SOON i need it to get me thru my bachelors at LEAST (which is gonna be a long time bc i'm not the brightest candle on the cake 🤠)

anyway.

Simone and maggie is also intelligent 🙌

omg yes literally after i posted my finale yappings i was like oh shit wait yasuda is leaving 😭 why would they do this to us. i don't super care about them but i like them better than helmika just bec i don't get what helm was trying to do at all, it was funny when she was all about having a crush on meredith (like, same) but she can emigrate to paris with levi now that's ok

i fully block out the fact that simone/lucas is a thing (their scenes are usually my tea breaks tbh) like i feel like my brain isn't entirely processing that info even tho i know it is technically true. i mean simone is a full on dyke in my mind because you expect me not to project onto her? with THOSE mommy issues? when she had that scene with addison in the nicu... i was like 🤔🏳️‍🌈❓ ok now kiss

#also i love reading your asks it's okay!!#asks #anon bestie

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pendragyn · 2 years

Text

So I have a conundrum of a spiritual nature that I don't have anyone to talk to about so I am going to throw it into the void and see if anyone has helpful advice on it. I am NOT interested in the input of non-believers and jerks will be summarily blocked.

With that said, here is some background about me and my situation: I am witchy in a vague low spell-slot / dealing with major burnout sort of way and I have very specific *to me* beliefs about spiritual things that I won't go into, but I do enjoy and believe in tarot/divination as mostly a "headology" sort of thing - a conduit of sorts, though I don't know if it's inner or outer, and I'm not sure it matters.

SO, on the night of the 14th - 15th (which is significant to me) I saw a video of @rrrrriiiiooooottttt on tiktok doing a community tarot reading, which I logically know that masses of people saw but there were parts of it that felt very personal to me.

Firstly, my mom gave me her Waite-Rider-Smith deck like 30 years ago and I am relatively familiar with the deck's imagery, but beyond that it resonated because my mom's passed and I would have discussed this with her.

Secondly, some of the specific cards felt personal too, and when I did a few readings for myself they popped up again. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

The reading itself was titled as "this is a message from Lucifer to you" which certainly had me smirking until it hit a nerve lol. They didn't pull cards so much as ask questions and shuffle until cards slipped from their hands in answer.

The cards in order; King of Cups and 9 Cups together, Emperor alone, King of Wands and 8 Wands, Queen of Pentacles alone, then 6 Wands, The Magician, (9 Pentacles which was mostly hidden behind other cards), Page of Swords, and Temperance all together. They interpreted it all to mean Lucifer was reaching out to work with people to overcome challenges faster than they might otherwise, see the bigger picture and find balance and abundance.

So I did a deep dive into analysing the cards they pulled, finding more stuff that resonated, and contemplated that for a couple days. Then I did my own readings on two different decks asking if a spirit was reaching out to me, yes, if it was malicious, no.

I asked if it was the pre-xian version of Lucifer and had cards falling as I shuffled, which is unusual for me. I interpreted them as a yes. (K of Pent, Strength, Ace of Pent, 6 Wands, 6 Cups)

So I asked "What now?" for lols and pulled the Queen of Cups which made me wonder if I should look for a writing mentor.

Then I asked if I should persue 3 certain writers as mentors and pulled a single card for each name, which got me the 5 Wands, The Devil lmao, and 9 Swords, all of which felt like big nos.

Lastly I asked if I should work on the magnum opus fanfic that I haven't worked on in a year and got the Lovers, which, I mean, yes, but also is a card that I actually reference in the story which knocked me for a loop lmao.

So now I'm at a loss because I've never worked with a spirit and I'm not sure how, or if I actually want to. If I could just write I would have by now lol so it's a real "Now what?" moment. The one person I'd discuss this with isn't exactly available for comment (and would probably freak tf out if she were alive lol). Anyone have experience they're willing to share, with Lucifer or any other spirits?

I am intrigued by the idea of working with a spirit, and am absolutely tickled by the thought of getting to say I made a deal with the devil, ngl, but I need some feedback from more knowledgeable people before I commit.

I don't know if anyone will see this but here's hoping. 💜

#yes I'm serious #tarot cards #spirituality #witchy #halp #hopefully this is coherent I've been working on it for hours #i can go into heavy detail #but wanted to make this initial post more concise #dunno that I succeeded lol #thanks for making it this far

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karlyanalora · 2 years

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Let's Be Friends

Making friends used to be easy. You could be in the play place of McDonalds or Chuck E. Cheese, meet a kid, spend an hour playing, swear to be friends for life, and never meet each other again. For the first seven years of my life, I had a best friend named Hannah. It’s been over a decade since we last spoke to each other, but I still think about her sometimes, especially when her family sends my parents a Christmas card. I wonder about finding a way to reach out to her, to rekindle our friendship. But we were eight the last time we sent a letter to the other, and I know nothing of who she truly is. Who you were at eight and who you are at twenty-one are completely different beasts. To be honest, I’m too afraid.

Hannah, and the period of my childhood she represented, would be the last time I had friends for a long time.

The next four years I was happily oblivious. I thought people being polite meant they were my friends, and seeing the best in people, I failed to notice when they pushed me away. They didn’t want to be my friends, and even at the youth church activites I attended, they didn’t try to include me.

When I was twelve, we moved to be closer to family. I cried, not wanting to leave my friends so close to leaving Primary and entering Young Womens (leaving the children to have Sunday classes and activities with the teens). I didn’t realize I didn’t truly have any, just aquaintences.

The move was rough. I learned I had autism after my first experience with bullying, where those I thought would want to be my friends spurned me. I learned that friends are a broad spectrum, from folks you regularly hang out with, to those you share your more personal feelings and thoughts with, those who you always enjoy but the closeness waxses and wanes, and the very small group you can talk deeply with.

I didn’t have any of those. I had people tell me they would be my friend and change their minds. But they never told me. I had to learn that when they shut out me out of conversations on long car rides, from the sad faces of those who might have wanted to include me but weren’t ready to risk it. I cried when I finally connected the dots. I thought we were getting closer, that we might not be close, but that we were friends. But once again, she’d only been an acquaintance who was playing nice as any Christain should.

I don’t blame her. Jesus said be kind to everyone, not that you had to be friends with everyone. But he also said to be honest. It would have hurt less if she just told me she wasn’t interested in actually being friends.

I have friends now. None of them are in that uber closeness circle. Only my mom and sister are there so far, where I can talk about all my deep crazy thoughts on life, religion, and fandom. Where they open up to me too. (The perk of adulthood is that peer level with your parents now, where you can be friends for real.) I’m still looking and yearning for non-family to enter that tier of friendship with. I know it will take work, and I know my autism makes the process a bit more tumultous, but it will happen. I just have to find the right people who are ready and want all of me.

Perhaps friendship is simpler in childhood because you have less to share. Our thoughts and opinions are not all that deep or varied at five. There’s not much to weaponize or be put off by.

To be clear, I am not dissing on my friends. I care for them all, for the joy they bring to my life. For my tumblr mutuals, who hover in the realm of sharing thoughts and fics about Star Wars, who bring diverse viewpoints to my life by their reblogs and posts that occasionally expand to the real world. To my writer friends, Sara and Sable, who try to zoom once a month to talk about our latest writing projects. Who don’t judge my fanfic and love to hear me rant about it even if they’re not in the fandom and share their glorious original works with me. For the potential friends I’ve made in Pokemon Go who I probably should make the effort to get to know better.

But friendship is hard and treacherous. We don’t talk about the struggles to navigate those waters. About the gratitude for what you have but a longing for more, for a deeper connection. About the work, and how it needs to be reciprocated. About the pain of it failing, even if the other person has been nothing but nice. That “I’ll be your friend” are cheap words, because you only know if that will be true as you come to know the other person. You two might not be a good fit, but that broken promise will hurt more than if you two fall apart never having made it.

Get to know your fellow human beings. If you are interested in knowing them better, let them know and open up to them in return. Be open about how deep you want that friendship to be. Be honest, communicate, and reciprocate. But above all, give them a chance. The “let’s be friends of childhood” is the “tell me about yourself, tell me more” of today.

#friends #friendship #making friends #autism #life #maybe this only applies to my autistic experience #but I felt it should be said

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lostinfantasyworlds · 2 years

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The boat has arrived! 🥳 For the emoji ask game, please and thank you, my love! 🙋‍♀️💖❌🎉

🥳 Ahhhh thank you so much love!!🥺🥰 😘

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Yes! I'm actually pretty open about it. My husband knows the most about my stories as far as plots/specifics, and I've offered to let him read if he wants, but he's not much of a reader in general so it hasn't happened yet 😂. My mom also knows and is the most supportive person ever, so she's always encouraging me with my writing. When I first started writing UTNL, I remember her saying something like "I can't wait to read it when it's done!" (she's never even seen Inuyasha) and I was like omg you are the absolute sweetest ever but also nooo mother you will not be reading this story that is chock full of porn that I wrote, thank you very much😂 😂 😂. I think all of my closest friends also know that I write fic, I just don't share many details about it. Other than that though, I don't generally tell people I'm not super close with.

💖 What made you start writing?

I remember loving to write when I was kid. Writing prompts at school were my favorite thing ever, and I wrote a handful of super angsty emo kid short stories while I was in grade school. But once I got to high school I just...stopped? For whatever reason, as I became an adult I came to the conclusion that writing was something I was no longer capable of doing. Then after joining the Inuyasha fandom at the end of 2020, I started having ideas for stories that I would jot down in my phone with no intention of actually trying to write them. But after seeing how incredibly kind and encouraging this fandom is towards new writers/artists, I ended up saying fuck it and just decided to go for it!

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Hmm...I guess I can't see myself ever writing something with mating and/or soulmate marks. I like the general idea behind them, but when I explore the idea of mates/soulmates in writing, I prefer to do it in a more abstract way. Like feeling that intense pull towards each other that makes them feel destined to be together, without having actual matching soulmate marks. Or finding ways for them to share a lifespan without the standard mate marking process. I have no problem at all reading stories with those tropes, and have seen them done really really well, but it's not something I'll probably ever write myself. Also, in general, I probably won't ever write a full story that's focused on any other Inuyasha ships besides InuKag, because I'm a basic bitch when it comes to shipping😂.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

My answer is actually pretty much the same as yours! The greatest measure of success for me is my ability to reread my own work and enjoy it for years to come without feeling the constant urge to edit and/or cringe. It's honestly pretty rare because I feel that way about a lot of what I've written (even when I know I shouldn't, but my brain is an asshole and will always find something to put myself down about). But, for example, Chapter 13 of UTNL is something I can still read and mostly just feel really proud of, rather than 'oh god I can't believe I posted this publicly, MUST GO BACK AND EDIT'

I do also tend to eyeball stats on AO3 more than I'd like to admit...but the ones that mean the most to me (besides comments of course) are Bookmarks and Subscriptions. Knowing that people want to save my fic to return to later on, or actually want emails in their inbox telling them when it's updated makes me feel like I've accomplished something exciting! It depends on the fic though, because there are some that I genuinely pretty much ignore all the stats on because I wrote it completely for me and if anyone else likes it, that's just a bonus (such as The Lover's Tree and I Loved Her First).

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN @anisaanisa YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

For the FanFic Ask Game (asks are always open!)

#ask #ask game #sorry for the long ass answers xD

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cheryblossomdreams · 4 years

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A Discussion About Dramione

This is a very difficult ship in the HP fandom, alongside others like Drarry etc.

However, I think there is something to be said for it regardless, since I’ve seen a lot of anti-Dramione content with some valid points and a lot of non valid ones too, so I suppose I’d like a try my hand at rebuking some of them.

1. Dramione shippers romanticize abuse and bullying.

At first glance, it certainly looks that way. Draco Malfoy was a racist, petty, spoiled bully that jumped on every opportunity to bully Hermione Granger and her friends. He is not a good character. In the Dramione fandom, no one claims he is a good character either. Instead, the Dramione fandom recognized the canon potential for change in Draco and uses that to shape their fanfics. The largest majority of the fandom (There do exist those really young fans that don’t quite yet understand everything that will blindly defend him or create extremely problematic fanart, but they are truly a minority) acknowledges entirely all the wrongs Draco has committed, and they are many. Actually, in most Dramione fics, the writers go to great lengths to process the part of DHr’s past that was filled with hatred and insults. You can find examples of this in the fic Measure of a Man by @inadaze22. Also to the point, most of Dramione fanfiction is written and set in a time many years after the War, after their school years, where they’ve both grown, matured and become adults, changed by time and what they went through, so it is a null point to say Dramione shippers romanticize bullying when their content is almost always set in a time where Draco is no longer a bully and Hermione is no longer a victim.

What the Dramione shippers like to emphasize is the fact that even though Draco used to be a horrible person, he had changed and grown past that, owned up to his mistakes and is now a different man. That’s what the stories they write are about. He had the potential to change already established in canon that he used later through his life to become someone better Hermione could eventually forgive and love.

You’ll be hard pressed to find a Dramione shipper that would say that while they were still in school they should’ve gotten together. Absolutely not. The content most of the Dramione fandom creates is always set post-canon, at a time where Draco’s changed and grown up from who he used to be, and Hermione recognizes his change and forgives him.

She certainly doesn’t have to forgive him, she doesn’t owe him anything, but part of Hermione’s bravery and overall character is that she would have been able to forgive him when she realized he’d changed. Plus, he saved her best friend’s life at a critical point in the war and, even though he did nothing to help her because he literally couldn’t have, which is something I’m pretty sure Hermione would have been grateful for, even a little bit.

The Malfoy family saved Harry’s life TWICE in HP, in both extremely critical moments in the war (Draco lying at the manor, Narcissa lying to Voldemort), which is something Hermione wouldn’t have been able to just ignore and pretend like it never happened, because that’s not who she is.

There probably is a very small percent of the Dramione fandom who create problematic content, but every fandom and every ship has toxic shippers, besides they are simply not the majority.

2. Dramione shippers use Hermione to redeem Draco.

The redemption arc Draco got in HP is extremely flimsy at best, especially considering the amount of damage he’d done prior. He saved Harry’s life, yes, but he did nothing to protect either Ron or Hermione, so personally I wouldn’t harp on about that being much of a redemption arc at all. However, I don’t think any Dramione shippers use Hermione to redeem him. In the Dramione content the things he did wrong and the hurt he inflicted is something Hermione recognizes and then, through the story, eventually chooses to leave behind. Besides, she doesn’t have to redeem him, since we know from canon he’d grown out of his beliefs eventually, privately at least if not publicly (more on this later).

3. Draco had a choice in how to act, if he really didn’t believe in blood supremacy.

No, he didn’t. Let me break it down why.

When he was 11 years old and first coming to Hogwarts, he was too young to understand the beliefs his parents ingrained into him were wrong and harmful, he simply didn’t have the mental capacity to comprehend that. He was a child that hung to every word their mom and dad said and he acted accordingly.

As he grew up though, started going through puberty and maturing, he would’ve realized that blood supremacy is wrong. Let’s say this realization came when he was 14. Lucius and Narcissa weren’t with him at Hogwarts, so if he changed his behavior to reflect his new realizations, they wouldn’t have known, right?

WRONG.

Do you really mean to tell me that if Draco Malfoy, only son and sole heir to the Malfoy family, an extremely wealthy, influential family in the Wizarding World and its politics, part of the sacred 28, well respected and with a high status in society, suddenly started being kinder and friendlier to Muggleborns and Halfbloods, people wouldn’t talk? People wouldn’t wonder, get suspicious? That such news wouldn’t reach his father, who’s got eyes and ears everywhere (evident by the fact he was able to bribe someone in Hogwarts to buy his son a position on the Quidditch team). And how do you think Lucius Malfoy, a devout Death Eater, would have reacted to receiving such news? What do you think would have happened to Draco when he came home that summer?

Draco was never abused and I doubt Lucius would start then, but I am positive he would’ve been disowned, for betraying the values his family had upheld for centuries. Lucius is a staunch blood purist and he absolutely would cut all contact with his son (disown him) when news reached him Draco was making nice with Muggleborns and Halfbloods.

And Draco knew this, he knew how strict his father was, he knew how deeply he believed in blood supremacy and he knew the consequences for stepping out of line and being anything less than the perfect son.

What would a 14-year old kid do being disowned? Homeless essentially?

So, even if he had realized the wrongs of his beliefs and renounced them, he couldn’t have done that publicly, and certainly not with Hermione Granger or Harry Potter much less, seeing as Harry Potter is the nemesis of the man his father believes in.

By the time he reaches 15 and 16, Voldemort is already at full power again and living in Draco’s house. Now things get even worse. After Lucius fails to get the Prophecy in the Department of Mysteries, Voldemort decides he has to punish him for his failure by having Draco take the Dark Mark. By this point, Draco had abandoned ideas of blood supremacy, but at this point, what the fuck is he going to do? Refuse The Dark Lord? The Darkest Wizard in all of Wizarding History? The guy who is living in his house AND holds the lives of him AND his entire family hostage? Who could and would murder Draco’s mother and father and Draco himself if Draco disobeyed? The man who murdered a person right on Draco’s kitchen table and had Nagini swallow them whole?

Even if all of that wasn’t true, and it is, how’s a 16 year old kid going to fight off a house full of seasoned Death Eaters, proficient at the Dark Arts who will use Unforgivables on him, plus Voldemort himself, plus a giant terrifying snake?

At that point, Draco is left with literally zero choice but to take the Mark and obey his mission to murder Dumbledore.

He hatches several plots to kill Dumbledore, all of which fail. When they stand at the Astronomy tower, even Dumbledore himself calls all of his plots halfhearted and weak. Dumbledore offers him help, but Draco is very clear in his regret of the things he’d done and the fact there’s no going back now.

‘I have to do this, I have to kill you, or he’s gonna kill me.’

AND

‘What do you know about me? I’ve done things that would shock you.’

(I’m paraphrasing here, these aren’t the exact quotes).

At which point Snape shows up and kills Dumbledore in Draco’s place because of the Vow he made to Narcissa.

Any way you look at it, he really didn’t have any choice, even if he did at some point during school renounce his beliefs and grow past them.

4. He tried to kill Ron.

I’ve seen antis blame Draco for this one, which is a bit ridiculous. He did not. He had madam Rosmerta poison a bottle of wine, which he sent to Horace Slughorn, hoping Slughorn would pass it onto Dumbledore. Filch hadn’t noticed any traces of poison in it, because he is a Squib, he also didn’t doubt a shipment from Rosmerta, and so he just gave it to Slughorn. Slughorn kept it around and then later he was the one to offer Ron a glass of that wine. In Draco’s plan, Ron wasn’t ever even mentioned nor included in any way. It had been an unlucky coincidence for Ron, and Draco couldn’t have possibly known that Slughorn would hold onto the wine, that Ron would ever be around Slughorn OR that Slughorn would offer Ron that same wine. Sufficed to say, Draco never attempted to murder Ronald Weasley.

5. He did nothing while Bellatrix tortured Hermione.

We’ve been over this, what could he have done? He had saved Harry’s life earlier, but that one lie couldn’t of spared Ron or Hermione, their faces were too recognizable, even if Harry’s wasn’t.

A room full of Death Eaters, some of the cruelest, most dangerous ones mind you (Bellatrix Lestrange) and he’d be 17, if I remember correctly, still not even an adult, plus at this point in the war even more powerless (considering the fact the Malfoys had fallen out of favor with Voldemort, evident by the fact Lucius tells Draco that if they deliver Harry Potter to Voldemort, all would be forgiven).

What did you expect him to do? Leap into battle and try to fend off dozens of Death Eaters, effectively betraying the Dark Lord in the process and single-handedly getting his entire family killed, if not even himself?

Would you have done that? No, of course not.

6. Draco Malfoy is not redeemable.

Now Draco’s “redemption arc”, if it can be called that, is a powerful moment but it’s flimsy. JK didn’t really ever intend for him to be redeemed or liked either, but let’s take a look at it anyways.

It is canon that Draco stopped believing in blood supremacy at some point during their school years, though we can’t know exactly when.

How can I say this, when his behavior never indicated that?

Well, I’ve already been over why he couldn’t have suddenly changed his behavior, now let’s go through how I can claim it is canon.

The scene where Draco lies to everyone about Harry’s identity.

That moment could only exist IF Draco didn’t believe in blood supremacy anymore.

Think about it, if Draco was devout to Voldemort and his beliefs like his father, he would have had no problem or conscience to tell everyone ‘Yes, this is Harry Potter, hand him over.’ It would have been favorable to him if Harry died.

And let’s be clear, if Draco had said the truth in that moment, Harry would have died. He was captured, wandless (his is broken, when they escape the Manor he steals Draco’s), Ron and Hermione captured as well, he was entirely helpless and surrounded by powerful Dark Arts wizards and witches who would lead him directly to Voldemort the moment they got confirmation it was indeed him and that would have been it. Voldemort would have killed him. Voldemort would have won.

But that isn’t what happened.

Draco looked at Harry, recognized it was him (evident by a later scene where Harry straight up says that. “Why didn’t you tell her? Bellatrix? You knew it was me, you didn’t say anything.”) and at first, still unsure what to do, asked why Harry’s face was like that, and he’s told Harry just came in like that.

Draco says “I’m not sure.”

At that point Lucius grips him and tells him that if they gave up Harry Potter to Voldemort all would be forgiven, Bellatrix brings him closer to get a second look.

Draco knows all the consequences of what he’s doing at this point, he knows what he’s risking, the literal lives of everyone he loves, and what does he do?

He still lies.

‘I can’t be sure.’

It’s a powerful moment for his character, BUT it’s not enough for redemption. The amount of pain and hatred he’d spewed for 6 years (I say 6 years because The Golden Trio wasn’t attending Hogwarts for year 7) is not redeemed by this one instance. His actions, letting Death Eaters into Hogwarts, likely torturing people on command of the Carrows in 7th year, are not redeemed by this moment, even if he did save Harry’s life.

However, though this instance doesn’t constitute redemption, it is telling of the fact Draco has changed, and changed significantly from the hateful, angry, spoiled, racist brat he used to be, which gives him potential to grow up into a different, better man.

Whether JK intended it or not, the way that was written makes Draco Malfoy more than redeemable, if not for the duration of the books, then later through his life.

Being a horrible person at one point in your life does not make you forever evil, does not mean you can not ever change. To prove this, I’d like to humbly request you to watch this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSH5EY-W5oM

Voldemort’s regime is very similar to Hitler’s Nazi movement, so this video is very fitting to my point and HP in general.

Here’s another three:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORp3q1Oaezw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw0vS0qvYo0&list=TLPQMTcxMjIwMjBZfqJdkbbQJw&index=2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4gly9n9RBo&list=TLPQMTcxMjIwMjBZfqJdkbbQJw&index=3

If you don’t have time to watch, let me sum it up for you.

The first video chronicles the story of a man who’d been part of the Neo-Nazi movement, managed to leave it behind and become an activist and overall an amazing guy now.

The other three links chronicle the story of Daryl Davis, a black man who’d attended KKK rallies and even met with the Imperial Wizard of the KKK Roger Kelly, somehow despite all odds became friends with him and eventually managed to get through to Roger Kelly to the point where this man (The leader of the KKK on a national scale) stepped down from his position and left the Ku Klux Klan.

That’s real life, something like that happened, truly happened, but Draco Malfoy is irredeemable?

PLUS, Draco is hardly the first case like this.

Take James Potter as an example. James was also a rich, racist, privileged white boy, and a bully. He’d bullied Snape severely, even set up a “prank” with his friends that would lead to Snape getting attacked by a WEREWOLF, putting him in mortal peril, with great potential of killing him, that required then a rescue operation.

James attempted murder, or if you don’t want to go that far, he set up a situation that quite possibly could have gotten someone killed, and he got to mature and grow past his behaviors and redeem himself, fall in love with Lily and have a wonderful son.

Why couldn’t Draco change when James had?

In conclusion, I think there’s a big diifference between what the Dramione fandom actually is and what antis think it is.

The heart of the Dramione fandom is about growing and changing and maturing and forgiving and falling in love despite the differences of the past.

It’s not about romanticizing bullying or toxic relationships, life is not black and white people, people can change and grow from their past actions and people can also forgive and move on.

There’s plenty of examples in the books of Harry and Ron mistreating Hermione and they all move past those instances (obviously that can’t be compared to what Draco did, I’m just making a point here).

I do acknowledge that the Dramione shippers have some bad apples among them, some problematic people that take it all too far, but honestly, every fandom and every ship has bad, toxic people so you can’t really use that against them.

All in all, things aren’t the way antis always present them, there’s a lot more gray there, and I hope this entirely too long post helped some of y’all see that.

#dramione #dramione discourse #pro dramione #a defence of dramione #anti dramione discussions

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wannaliveattheholidayinn · 3 years

Text

Ok, But Seriously, I Have Thoughts

I have... really mixed feelings about this episode, so I'm gonna talk about those feelings. And if my feelings about zep as a show and this season come out during that... so be it. (Seriously, this got long. I'd apologize, but I'm not sorry). Also spoilers for the new ep below the cut, but y'all should've been able to guess that

- I... Zimon seriously deserves just so much better. We saw them as a couple together for three episodes, and they honestly weren't explored enough. Zimon... and this is a very personal opinion, but they really do strike me as a couple who never fully leave the honeymoon phase... like ever. Like, of course, they'll fight and disagree on a lot of things, but they also can have adult children, and just kind of act like newlyweds even if they've been married for over twenty years. And again, I know that's a very personal opinion, but I mean... we all knew c/arkeman was gonna be endgame, and it just feels like zimon was never given an actual chance.

- However, I do very much appreciate that their breakup was not messy, there's still clearly a ton of respect for the other on both of their sides, and that Simon is okay.

- "We didn't belong together." No, you fucking did.

- I am not going to stop writing Zimon fanfic either. In fact, this might spur me to write more and work harder on writing Zimon fanfic.

- Rose. Fucking. Deserves. Better. I'm not even gonna elaborate on this one. We all know it.

- Despite the fact that I fucking hate c/arkeman and that it was very, very rushed... I'm giving acting and singing props to Jane. I Melt With You is a song that's extremely personal to me. It helped get me through a point in my life where... I was constantly feeling at war with others, myself, and even felt unsafe in my own home (something I still feel today, no matter how irrational I know it is). I just generally feel a strong connection to every version of the song bc of that, whether it's the original or the Bowling for Soup cover (that was in Sky High!), and... Jane just has a way of making me feel safe when she sings. So, I really, really loved her cover.

- Um... yeah, I'm gonna be real, I don't like the idea of Max having powers. I don't know, I just think it kinda changes the whole original concept of the show, and I'm not a big fan of that...

- Simon! Simon working on changing SPRQ Point!!!!

- I do not really like how they handled Simon's racial bias/systemic racism in coding storyline *after* episode six (aka it only really being mentioned in passing, not being further explored, etc.), but,,, credits due where it's due I guess? I like how they handled him going to Danny Michael Davis, and how DMD listened.

- Sidenote, I kinda find it weird we as a fandom don't refer to him as Danny... it's Danny Michael Davis, DMD, or fucking Willy Wonka jokes. Makes sense I guess.

- Um... the writing was just... so lazy. Yeah. It's... really sad, I think that the show would've benefitted from even one less ep. But on the other hand... lazy writing is lazy writing.

- I think it would've been better - honestly - if Zoey's feelings of loss hadn't been connected to Max in a romantic way, but in a platonic/familial way. We didn't see a ton of their friendship, and yeah,, I hate Max, but there are a few moments there where you can see a legitimate friendship that's really sweet. I also think if they had maybe explored Zoey's fear of losing Simon as well as Max and centered the finale more on Zoey telling Simon about her power, it would've just been a lot better.

- But... honestly, after I just aired out all my issues with this episode (and the season too kinda),,, I honestly liked it. I hate that Zimon broke up and I just generally hate cl*arkeman but... this ep had some really great moments. Zoey and Mitch were beautiful to see again. Mctobin, Davidemily, and Mo x Perry were all absolutely my favorite parts of the episode. Hell, I'll even admit I... well I don't wanna say laughed considering I was so close to crying, but I let out a weird, breathy noise resembling a laugh when Zoey just blurted out she and Simon had broken up.

I don't want to say it was a bad episode, because I did honestly, enjoy ~parts~ of it... but... it wasn't even that cl/arkeman happened, I knew it would, but how it did... it just honestly (my g.od i need to stop writing that word) seemed like they were trying to kill off or like... fucking quash *any* hope Zimon shippers may have had,,, and the writing was just so fucking lazy, I just...

I started the show after dance one night because my teacher showed us the Help! number bc he was an extra in it. And I had already been intrigued by the few ads I had seen for it. So, my mom and I watched it, and we loved it. So we kept watching. And it was good! It was really good! Sure it could be cheesy, but... that didn't matter. I latched on...

I don't know if, ZEP is gonna get renewed, and if it is, I don't know if I'll watch it if/when it does. I latch on to shows really fucking hard when I do latch on. It's why I keep rewatching The Good Place and why I'll never forgive Freeform/Disney/Marvel for canceling Cloak and Dagger. The way I latch onto things is probably a bit unhealthy. And the fact of the matter is, despite everything, my overwhelming feelings about ZEP are positive. And I latched on. I'd honestly do it all over again.

I have a lot of feelings about this fandom and this show, both positive and negative. Still, I love it. Unconditionally. Ultimately, I don't care if Zoey ends up with Max or Simon (though, seriously, she and Simon are made for each other). It's a good fucking show, ships shouldn't be everything that matters.

I began lurking in this fandom when I was fifteen. I began posting fanfic for it when I was sixteen. I'm almost seventeen now. I was planning to get Tumblr when I was seventeen. I also knew I wouldn't forgive myself if I hadn't made my presence here known if it didn't get renewed.

I want to thank @simon-haynes because, uh, holy fuck, I adore you. Running a blog for fandom is something I couldn't even fathom, especially when a large portion of the fandom doesn't like your ship. I legitimately can't believe you followed me.

Thank you to @jennakang. You are, honestly, one of the best writers I've ever read from. You were so incredibly supportive of my writing on ao3, despite the fact you didn't know who I was, and that really meant the world to me. Thank you so much for your contributions to the fandom. Also, uh, fun fact, I was the anon who, after you expressed the want to write the quarantined Zimon fic, sent in that ask that was like "please do!" and also "hope I'm not being pushy about this". I don't know if you remember that at all, but your response meant the world to me.

And uh, lastly @myheartissetinmotion. Um, wow. I know we barely know each other, but I can honestly say, you have been my anchor for this whole show. I love both your Tori content on TikTok as well as just zep content you do on there, and how you wrote her into zep on ao3. I personally like to think of you as the pioneer of Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist Tok. You were pretty unbiased when it came to ships on there, and that made me feel safe in a place where there were virtually no zimon shippers. Your content was funny, and I always found myself laughing or screaming "accurate" at it. I know, I'm the nuisance who every few months DMs you about something zep related, but I hope you know, you made me feel both seen and somewhat appreciated in this fandom. I cannot thank you enough, Isabella 💗

I know Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist may not be ending. But this still oddly feels like the end of an era. I'm not leaving the fandom, I plan to keep posting fanfic for it and everything. I just want everyone who may be reading this to know I love this fandom and I would not take any moment here back.

Also, this is me formally asking for a link to a Discord group chat since I know it exists but I'm too scared to actually ask any of you for it directly.

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