#probably not unreality

[facts-i-just-made-up]

If there's no seawater in mountains, then how is Himalayan pink salt made.

If it were made with seawater, the seas would be pink.

Pink salt in the Himalayas is made over millions of years when minerals common to the region work their way into salt deposits left by evaporating moisture.

"Himalayan Pink Salt" as sold in spice and health shops in America are made by an underpaid employee who gets table salt at Wal-Mart and adds a dash of red food coloring so their boss can sell it with labels full of cultural appropriation and fraudulent medical claims at a 3000% markup.

[amtrak-official]

That's right ya'll, Gay Sex is now legal on the trains and we encourage you to do it 24/7 on your trips

[reginaldqueribundus]

taken out of context, Goncharov is actually one of the funniest characters of all time.

he refuses to have sex with his hot wife. she invites him to dinner with Sofia (and was almost CERTAINLY going to propose a threesome) but he's like no thank you. i have to go stare into Andrey's eyes for 3 hours. he gets a motorcycle and crashes it 10 minutes later. he gives a eulogy at the funeral of a guy he killed. he picks a fight with a grandfather clock and the clock wins. his wife loses the mansion in a poker game because he was busy throwing a tantrum in his man cave and then she comes home and points a gun at him and he looks at her like a middle-aged suburban dad whose kids just broke the TV remote for the fifth time.

[realpokemon]

HELP PLEASE MY EEVEE WONT STOP EVOLVING NO MATTER HOW MANY EVERSTONES I GIVE HER SHE WONT STOP DROPPING THEM AND ATTEMPTING TO EVOLVE-

LET! YOUR! EEVEE! EVOLVE!

ITS THE EVOLUTION POKÉMON. ITS THE POKÉMON THAT EVOLVES A LOT. THATS ITS THING. WHY aren't you letting your eevee lution

[azraelcreates]

TW: Scopophobia!!! 👀✨

TW: Scopophobia!!! 👀✨

I’ve been Wanting to draw The Original Wally For WEEKS! @:3

[constantlyfalling]

This is my exit

[phykoha]

turtle tots acting like kittens supremacy

pls watch the original tiktok it runs in a constant loop in my brain

[miraclemaya]

art piece within a museum labeled "a story about your life". you go inside, and it's a tablet and a chair. you sit down and look at the tablet. it reads, "you are human. you enjoy art, especially strange and challenging art." it goes on similarly listing vague generalities. just as you being to understand your takeaway from the piece, that we are all broadly similar, or at least more similar then we are different, it states your exact time of birth. perhaps this was the twist, you think, they took your date of birth from when you bought a ticket and used cameras to pick out which date of birth to display. except it keeps going. it recreates bits of your childhood you don't even remember in perfect detail. it is critical of your actions in highschool, and how poorly you treated your first partner.

it keeps on going. it insults you for stealing food from your coworkers, and tells you that your mother wanted to tell you that she was sorry before she died. it writes a detailed, step by step explanation of how you got into this booth this right now, and it's all true.

it keeps on going, telling you of catastrophe. you will die in a year from a stray bullet and after you die the world will go to hell. the worst atrocities now are only the precursor to what is to come. there will be no humans left alive in 50 years from now.

you leave the museum in a rush and get home, sobbing. you spend the last year of your life drinking and destroying your relationships. you scream about the end of the world and no one is listening. you barely manage to hold on to your shitty day job, if only so you can buy more drink.

the appointed day of your death comes and you hear a knock on the door. you have accepted what is coming. you open the door. there is a package. you quickly open it up. it is a poster, a thomas kinkade painting. it has the quote "you never know when you will die, so remember to always live life to the fullest." it is attributed to gandhi.

[ughmerlin]

– I, CARRION (ICARIAN), hozier

[dansemacabre]

i’ve been thinking about “sixer, it would eat you alive” since i read it and. man. every layer you peel back makes it worse. im not a bill apologist but. shit

if you (1) take it at face value, it paints bill as an apologetic murderer in his single (and maybe sole) open moment of regret. he doesn’t let his walls down often- only with ford do we even get to see the remnant of his galaxy, see the “actual remorse” ford describes, get just a hint of his origins. but he does it, because he thinks ford should know.

if you (2) take it from ford’s point of view, as something he committed to journal three, like. wow. imagine being so committed to a being that you’d hunt down and kill the monster that destroyed his home, only to (assumably) figure out later that that being was the monster. the small moments of trust, the “good times”, are so key to manipulation. how long did ford hold onto that one shred of vulnerability? no wonder ford stayed for as long as he did. in his eyes, bill was a survivor. ford wanted to survive too.

(slight tw below for unreality- any time i mention our reality, i mean “our reality” as a narrative device used in the book of bill as a proxy for the idea of bill being in our reality, since he can’t actually be in our reality. all of this is a fictional theory about a show/book with fictional contents!)

but if you (3) remember that “even his lies are lies” and absolutely Nothing bill says should be trusted. Whoo boy. if i read tbob right the book itself is being created in the theraprism (even tho it shows up with the ciphertologists at some point? idk that’s a whole other post). it’s meant to show what the reader wants to see; it manifests in our reality as what the collective fandom wants to see. so if we want to see truth, if we want to see where bill ended up and who he actually is, there’s a non-zero chance that the whole interaction was a complete fabrication.

imagine bill, stuck in the actively harmful, probably earth-illegal theraprism, once again being forced to be “fixed” and molded into something more palatable, being forced to conform no matter how much it hurts. (i know natural uncontrollable mutation ≠ just so much murder and destruction and chaos, but. you can’t ignore the similarities. bill has obviously been thinking about those silly straws.)

he looks back on everything that went wrong, back on his relationship with ford, back through every dimension where he wins. would that one moment, that one truth amid centuries of lies, have saved him from purgatory? if he had just been open? shown his damage? maybe he did think of his parents, or his henchmaniacs (especially the oracle). people who he might have once opened up to. maybe he just wanted to open up to someone again.

so in his own weird way, stuck in a cell, he reshaped reality again. in this reality, for this fleeting moment, he had been someone worth believing. and ford had listened, hell, ford had wanted to help. looking back, knowing how he treated ford, knowing how ford ended up because of it, maybe bill would have said the most honest thing he’d ever told ford: i am the monster, i am not worth your time or belief, and i will eat you alive.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

okay but what about the 1990s?

Most people spent the 1990s asking "What about the 1990s?"

[malcontentonline]

So I watched Goncharov (1973) after seeing a few posts about joe and, can I say, he did not disappoint! I love unhinged quirky characters like this so I was already expecting to like him, but I wasn’t expecting how deep and interesting his character actually was and how much was shown in such a (relatively) short amount of screen time.

[kenchann]

some shroud doodles shroud family my beloved

[professional-termite]

imagine if the star trek tos gang had tumblr lol

🔄 vulcanfuckerjt reblogged 1stofficerspock

😍 vulcanfuckerjt Follow

mannnn why are vulcans so.... ahfhfjfj lik????

🖖 1stofficerspock Follow

Hello captain.

😍 vulcanfuckerjt

sPOCKWHEN DJD YOU GET TUMBLR

🖖 1stofficerspock

Dr. McCoy reccommended this app to me this morning.

😍 vulcanfuckerjt

okkkk i think me and dr mccoy need to have a TALK

#in the meantime i need to purge this blog eughhhh

12 notes

🔄 cptnjtkirk reblogged 1stofficerspock

🎶 music-by-nyota Follow

rb for reach!!

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scottishthings-daily Follow

FLOWER OF SCOTLAND SWEEP!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

🇷🇺 russianthings-daily Follow

RUSSIAN ANTHEM SWEEEP!!! 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺

🟥 redshirt-ensign Follow

who tf submitted a mitski song

🦴 bonesbonesbones Follow

i did. it reminded me of how @'cptnjtkirk feels about @'1stofficerspock :]

🖖 1stofficerspock Follow

What?

🌠 cptnjtkirk Follow

IGNOREE HIM PLEEASE

#bones istg

1.2k notes

🔄 scottishthings-daily reblogged russianthings-daily

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scottishthings-daily Follow

if the enterprise was a woman id want her to sit on my face

🇷🇺 russianthings-daily Follow

🤨

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scottishthings-daily

wRONG BLOG

26.7k notes

🔄 redshirt-ensign reblogged redshirt-ensign

🟥 redshirt-ensign Follow

abt to go on my first mission, wish me luck!!

🟥 redshirt-ensign

med bay

56.8k notes

🔄 cptnjtkirk reblogged klingon-commander

🤬 klingon-commander Follow

this is a callout post for @'cptnjtkirk hes a vulcan fucker and a war criminal

🦴 bonesbonesbones Follow

you say that like theyre equally bad..?

🤬 klingon-commander

they are.

🌠 cptnjtkirk Follow

too bad im not actually either of those things lmao

#i wish... #not about the war criminak thing obv i mean #wait dammit spock can see this blog nvm

10 notes

🔄 klingon-soldier-6 reblogged scottishthings-daily

🇷🇺 russianthings-daily Follow

Posting Russian things every day, day 567: Nevsky potatoes!

😡 klingon-soldier-6 Follow

they look stupid

🇷🇺 russianthings-daily

i have your family name and home coordinates. you have 3 days to delete that post.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scottishthings-daily Follow

ay, laddy...@'cptnjtkirk said to quit yer fighting!

😡 klingon-soldier-6

stfu ur in love with an ugly ass spaceship

#istg you starfleet ppl are like asking to get bullied or smthn #not my fault ur easy targets

756 notes

🔺️ engineerthrowaway74859 Follow

@'klingon-soldier-6 's full dox

130 notes

🔄 cptnjtkirk reblogged romulan-invasion

🗡 thereal-mrsulu Follow

@'cptnjtkirk Sir, there's an asteroid coming towards the ship at an alarming speed! 3 hours until impact!

🌠 cptnjtkirk Follow

cant we just move out of the way.? or blow it up

🗡 thereal-mrsulu

I can't, sir! Our controls are all jammed!

🪆 russianthings-nav Follow

can confirm, @'cptnjtkirk sir!! nothings working!!

🌠 cptnjtkirk

how?? how could this have happened???

😈 romulan-invasion Follow

:3

🌠 cptnjtkirk

shit

4.3k notes

🦴 bonesbonesbones Follow

"ooo mccoy what do i do" "oooh mccoy im in love with my first officer" "ooh mccoy--" boi stfu im a surgeon not a matchmaker

#go talk to someone else if you want help with that bucko #bones rambles

2 notes

🌠 cptnjtkirk Follow

i wish people would stop vagueposting about me :( at least @ me if ur gonna say something rude

#personal

0 notes

🔄 cptnjtkirk reblogged bonesbonesbones

🦴 bonesbonesbones Follow

@'cptnjtkirk is a massive simp

#not what i meant but thanks i guess

36 notes

[ismellpestilence]

Butchered Tongue is so....

There's something painful about being completely cut off from the culture of your ancestors. You know that there was once a connection there but its gone now and you have no idea how to get it back. You're just stuck wondering when and why things didn't get passed on to your parent or grandparent. Why did they let you assimilate?

Knowing that if your grandparents went to participate in your lost culture, they would be reclaiming it. But somewhere in the generations there is a point where it crosses from reclaiming your culture to being a tourist. And you're pretty sure that you fall directly on the other side of that line.

All you get is an heirloom or two, and a surname no one can pronounce. And that's it's you're lucky.

[sinnamonpork]

resting bitch face? more like resting pretty face