#probably one of the messiest posts I’ve made

[sunbeamedskies]

Darth Vader/Friends with Detriments

Writing about all this stuff really helps remind me my life is a continuous flow instead of disjointed parts. There are distinct phases of course, but lately I have felt like I’m in such a new place in my life that I’ve felt disconnected from both the wonderful and awful times I’ve had in the past

A conversation came up recently I got involved in about men and women being friends. I’ve had tons of friendships with men where neither of us had any attraction to each other. I’m very much of the view men and women can easily be friends and will elaborate more about it in a future post. But the conversation did remind me of the messiest friendship with a man I’ve ever had and made me ponder how much it affected me

It’s astounding when you realize something is far enough in the past you can now analyze it with a brand new sense of clarity. It’s also a bit of a mindfuck to know if I actually become a famous writer in the future, the people who knew the guy I’m about to write about, along with the guy himself, will probably one day read this

I met a guy my junior year of college who became my closest guy friend ever for a few years. All my life, I had wanted a close guy friend, my only close friends ever having been girls previously. I felt I would get along well with guys, but just hadn’t had the opportunity yet. In high school I had had some guy friends, but we hadn’t been super close. It’d always bothered me. I felt like I was missing out

We met when he came to my new living-learning community dorm’s hallway and was messing around with something right outside my door. Me and my roommate either came out into the hall or already were there, I don’t quite remember. He was staring at her, and I instantly knew he liked her. I also instantly felt like I already knew him from a past life

Very soon afterwards, I was sitting on the top bunk of our bunk beds when my roommate told me she was going to check out his room, with the guy in question nearby, and she asked if I wanted to tag along. Knowing he probably wanted to hook up with her and thinking maybe she wanted to as well, I declined. It was strange- although I found him very attractive, I didn’t feel any jealousy like I normally would have at the time (I was extremely insecure and all around “off” that year)

The guy looked like Hayden Christensen, who was one of my childhood crushes. Due to it, for the rest of this post, I will refer to him as Hayden. I didn’t blame him for liking my roommate- her hair was thick and long, like I’d always wanted on myself. Actually, I had recently needed to cut my hair because the stress of the last year had made me comb it while it was tangled in a way which was not careful at all, causing me to yank some of it out. But even coupled with the hair jealousy, for whatever reason, I was unbothered when he hooked up with her

He hooked up with a lot of girls. I didn’t really see him as a “player” though because I felt like that term was already outdated, that people were more complex than that. People felt freer to hookup when they were single and have fun in general at the time, as they do today. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t be dedicated when in a monogamous, committed relationship- it was just their single behavior. If I had had more opportunities back then, and if my life had played out a little differently, perhaps I would’ve been a similar way

I barely knew him for that entire first year, but I craved being friends with him. I did have a tiny crush on him, but in my mind there was no way we would ever get together in any way. I thought he would be an interesting friend to have based on what I knew of his personality, but it felt unlikely I’d ever really get to know him even as a friend

We started chatting on Facebook occasionally over the summer. I forget exactly what prompted it, but he said he used to think I was crazy based on what my former roommate- who had been partially sheltered- said about me doing things like tarot, but now thought I was awesome (he had also been somewhat sheltered through being raised religiously Christian.) I couldn’t believe we were actually becoming friends

The next year we lived in the same dorm building in our living learning center (LLC.) I found out pretty quickly he had just started dating a beautiful, stylish girl he had gone to high school with but hadn’t known well there who was also living in our LLC. She seemed really cool, but this time, I felt some jealousy. She was also very slender, something I’ve always had trouble achieving due to my polycystic ovarian syndrome (I’ve finally found a healthy way to lose weight steadily nowadays, but it’ll still take some time to reach my goals.) I hated that I felt jealous of her. It’s not like I even expected to date him, but there was still a small crush lingering, and that combined with my lack of experience at the time got to me 

They broke up pretty quickly, and she and I became good friends for a while. Turns out she had had a crush on Hayden in high school and was a little mind blown she actually dated him for a short while in college. Whenever I’ve been jealous of a girl and then become friends with them, it’s always drilled into me how dumb jealousy is. She was so nice, and there was a part of her which thought it was crazy she really ended up dating her former high school crush. I still get jealous of girls sometimes, but I have more perspective now to know it’s silly and try to remind myself of that

Slowly at first, then rapidly, Hayden and I became best friends. Part of me couldn’t believe we had gotten so close after not knowing each other well for a whole year before, but the part of me which felt like I already knew him when I met him was not as surprised. Underneath those good looks, he was a secret weirdo. I should’ve known- we had both chosen to live in the same artsy/hippie/hipster/nerdy dorm community LLC, after all- our university’s living, breathing embodiment of Tumblr

We became so close that everyone in the dorm community just started associating us with each other. One time when I was looking for him, a girl in one of the lounges- without me asking or saying anything- said “you just missed him!” Another girl who was dating a guy who lived on the same floor as Hayden kept mistakenly calling me his girlfriend. To this day, she still probably incorrectly believes we were ever together

One night he got drunk with a mutual friend in his room. I was there too, but was not drunk because I didn’t drink. While he was staring at his computer, he said to himself after referencing me, “I think I might be falling in love with you.” It was said so casually yet thoughtfully, as if he was talking to himself and had forgotten anyone else was in the room. Our other friend- who was also drunk and did not know Hayden well enough at all to know if he had feelings for me- said something like “uh, I’m here to make sure he doesn’t say anything dumb haha.” This was the first time I’d ever heard anyone utter aloud they might be in love with me, and it was my attractive best friend

I freaked out for a week or two. I knew I was not in love with him, but I wasn’t sure if I should tell him what he said, give him a chance, and try dating him. I asked my friends if the truth really does come out when people are drunk. They had mixed answers, but I knew that based on how he’d said it, in this instance it was probably true. I blasted She Said She Said by The Beatles constantly as I walked across campus. The rough guitars, the melody, and the lyrics all hit just the right spots for someone as confused as me. “Cause you’re making me feel like I’ve never been born” echoed through my head. One of my college best friends who I’m still best friends with says she thinks about me whenever she hears it because she knew I played it all the time

If I had written a story, it would have been such a fun little plot twist to write a guy falling for the roommate of the girl he had hooked up with a couple times, the girl he’d kind of ignored at first but then fell in love with without ever even kissing her. It felt miraculous, but was simultaneously one of the hugest disappointments I’d ever endured. I knew he was somewhat toxic and judgmental, that he didn’t experience the world similarly enough to me and didn’t have the goal to treat people with compassion and openness that I had. I’ve always had a thing for hippies, and he was not one, no matter what dorm he lived in. Sure, we related on a very deep level regarding some strange strains of thought and our senses of humor, but I knew deep down that dating him would have been unhealthy

The funny thing is that I didn’t even have a crush on him throughout a good portion of our friendship as it progressed. It was a very on and off crush, and I felt it was similar for him. I never told him what he said that night, and I don’t think our other friend remembered it either. There came a couple of times when he talked about the possibility of us being together, and I told him the truth- that I didn’t feel like he was able to be in touch with his feelings enough and feel things as intensely as I thought I probably would whenever I got into a relationship with someone someday

College was supposed to be where things finally happened for people dating-wise. Movies, music, and everyone had implied such. There had been absolutely nothing for me in high school, and here I was in college, getting so close but making the mature decision to not enter into a relationship- or even hookup- with someone I knew was trouble, as Goddess Swift sang at the time. It made me feel like whenever I get close to having even one single solitary hookup with anyone I like in the future, something will usually prevent me from getting to it

For instance, last summer I had my first ever Eurotrip. I had wanted to at least kiss someone during the trip, but nothing had happened yet. My very last night, I was in Madrid and arrived at a language exchange a little late. Almost immediately, a hot guy and I struck up a conversation. He and his friend invited me to join them at a pub long before the language event was over. While we were walking there, the one of them I was not into told me they both thought I was beautiful. Very good sign- right? My negative ass started telling myself that something was going to go wrong, that although a normal person would have a 90%+ likelihood of having a good night in that situation, it was probably only 70% for me. Oh, the guy who I’m not attracted to is probably the one who likes me and his friend is just being his wingman, I thought to myself. The guy who I was very attracted to showed interest though, and I mustered up the courage to tell him twice that I was into him and not his friend. Spoiler alert: it was a good night :)

There are more experiences which have compounded the feeling that a lot of things just won’t work out to get to even the most basic level of anything since Hayden. I know it’s largely a result of me being stranded in a city where I didn’t fit in and where I also didn’t have a traditional job for so long. Logically, I know it’s a result of some very unideal circumstances. I have done a good job of regaining some of my old confidence and positivity, but I’m still working on it. There have been times over the years where I’ve been hopeful, confident, unbothered, and others when I didn’t feel quite like myself and felt like anything even hookup-y was just not going to happen. Even over the past week, I have felt more and more confident after feeling a little negative. Being in a city I love is making me realize a lot is possible, though the first month left me feeling a little off due to the difficulties that not drinking brings me when it comes to opportunities with people at clubs/parties/etc

It's kind of silly to expect everything to begin in college, so if you’re reading this and in college- don’t worry about it. A lot of guys liked me in college who I didn’t like- it’s not as though there weren’t technically other opportunities- I just wasn’t into them and was not going to waste my or their time dating guys I wasn’t interested in. That one other friend in the dorm room with Hayden actually sent me a text a while later telling me he thought I was beautiful, and I thanked him. It was very sweet, but I just wanted to be friends. He couldn’t really look me in the eye the next time we caught up like a year later though, and I felt bad. I’m always honored when someone likes me, even if I don’t feel the same. There is no need for embarrassment

As the title of this post suggests, Hayden unfortunately turned more and more into Darth Vader as time went on. He got more judgmental and mean and alienated a lot of his friends over the years. I stood by him for a long time as his other friends dumped him, but then when I had to move back to where I grew up, he abruptly stopped talking to me. I should have expected it by the way he had treated some of his other friends, but it still shocked me for a while. I was so depressed at the time that I really could have used his support

We rarely talked after that. In one text I admitted I used to like him and he was surprised. I didn’t feel that way and hadn’t for a long time, but I felt the need to be honest. The last time he messaged me, I decided I didn’t really want to talk to him at all again unless it was an emergency. His life has changed a lot and so has mine, and I don’t feel like I know who he is anymore. It has nothing to do with feelings, but rather about his continued potential toxicity towards others. I barely even think about him nowadays, so writing this whole post was a teensy bit odd

Our friendship, despite its downs and complications, was still great in a lot of ways. The good times will always be a treasured part of my college memories. I used to jokingly ask people what friends with detriments would consist of, what the opposite of friends with benefits is. I realize now that maybe I was friends with detriments with Hayden throughout some of our friendship. It was never a situationship and there were definitely no “benefits” involved, but there were some strange negatives and on and off liking. It would make sense that the opposite of FWB would be platonic and difficult- right?

Have a happy Thanksgiving I guess by the way- I hope you enjoyed reading this after getting away from any family members with detriments

Love,

J

[throughhighsandlows]

Life update

Honestly, I can’t remember how many times I tried to write this. I might keep this in my drafts, but if I’ll be able to finish and post this, I hope this will serve as a reminder that: (1) We are nothing without God. (2) God isn’t redirecting us because we failed, but because He has a greater purpose that would touch the lives of His children. This is not the most beautiful and articulate letter and probably the messiest letter you’ll be able to read, but I want you to know that everything written here was from my heart—raw and messy.

It all started when my family had financial trouble last year. As someone who’s in my last year at University, I had this desire to provide and help my family. And since most of the schools are held online, I decided to find a full-time job while I do my thesis at night. I can still vividly remember how I begged God to give me this job I needed. I made a promise that I would be a good servant and a soldier of His kingdom. To cut a long story short, God gave me what I wanted.

Everything went smoothly. My family recovered and everything felt good. I had a well-paying job, my parents received their retirement pay, and I finished Uni. It was great, until reality hit me so hard. God gave me everything I asked Him, but I failed to do my promises to Him. I was too engrossed with work that I started neglecting Him—I stopped my devotions and I stopped talking to Him. I was so distracted by these beautiful things to the point where I forgot where these beautiful things came from. I was ashamed.

The shame I felt grew to resentment. I was so disappointed to myself because I can see myself distancing from God—afraid that He would be mad at me. I was very jaded to the point that the enemy started to control me. I developed this bad anxiety that greatly affect my decisions at work and I always find myself crying before going to work because I feel so lonely and unworthy. I thought God is punishing me from disobeying Him. I thought God is punishing me because I broke my promise to Him. The guilt ate me.

I was so tired. Lost. Everything became black and white. I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe. One night, I tried to reach out to Him. Knowing that He abandoned me, I tried my chances, hoping He would still hear me. I poured my heart and cried everything to Him like a child denouncing the unbearable pain caused by my disobedience. I was shattered but relieved that I already surrendered from the battle I was in. And for the first time, I slept peacefully. One day, I woke up with a tear-stained face. I looked horrible, but I dragged myself from the bed. I went to work and the next thing I did shocked me. I submitted my resignation letter.

It was a tough decision. With no plans in the future and no idea to do, I bravely left the job that God gave me. I walked out from the door that God opened for me. At first, I thought I did that because I’m a rebel child, but as time went by, I realized that God allowed me to leave that job. He could’ve stopped me in a thousand different ways, but surprisingly, He let me out. After months of battling and reconciling, I realized why God let me out, He’s redirecting me. I remember I begged Him for this job because I know it would financially help my family. And now that my family already recovered, He gave me a moment to rest. To figure out what I really want for myself… Not what my family needs, but what I need for myself.

Lo and behold, God really turned the bad into good. After I left my job, I spent my time with my family. I got a chance to try new things and new hobbies that I really enjoyed. Slowly, I can see myself smiling. Before, I’ve been avoiding mirrors, but now, I can bravely look at myself without remorse. I can still see the scars, the brokenness, but at least I’m moving forward. I still cried when I remembered how a single prayer changed things. It proves that my prayers don’t need to be organized or repetitive. You just need to be honest to Him and to yourself. Admitting that I had done wrong helped me to reconcile with God. He really humbled me down and I think that was His way of letting me know that He still hears me. That even though I disobeyed Him, He will not abandon me.

It's been months. I’m still actively looking for a new job, and I know it is a new battle. But this time, I’m doing this for myself. For my own happiness. I hope He will direct me to the path where I’ll flourish. I might become impatient during this phase, but I know that God will give me the things that I truly deserve because I already experienced the biggest turnaround even with the tiniest hope in my heart.

[dehliman]

Hi! Are you still doing requests for the character pose thing and also who are canon couples/crushes/tension/whatever in your thing so I don’t send something that’s completely bizarre for the characters that you ^^; -overthinkingtaleblr

Hello hello! Yes I am!

Here’s a list of relationships- romantic or otherwise that I very quickly got carried away with… some of these might not even be helpful to the prompts, but I sure had fun with it

Ghost and Johnny Toast are, goes without saying, best bros. Real besties. Best friends till the ends of time and space. Brothers in arms. Men with arms. For holding other men. Tenderly. (They’ve got a whole series-length story arc about their feelings on one another)

Gavin Toast has has a crush on Ghost since they were kids, which dipped until high school, which he supposed had gone away until he actually talks to Ghost for the first time since high school, in their 20s… depending on my mood, Ghost reciprocates this (in his own way, of course) but always sees Gavin as a good friend (though they have their moments)

Maddie has a crush on Billy, but she’s not as overbearing about it. It’s very explicit, and Billy knows, doesn’t reciprocate the same way, and Maddie respects this. They’re best friends in an unlabeled QPR. They hug and they kiss each other’s foreheads <3

Papa and Gertrude are married and in love

In addition to that, Gertrude is the ex-wife of Mr. Rose, Collin’s dad- they’re still friends

Audrey (Toast’s younger sister) is engaged to her fiancé… who does not have a design, and is not a character derived from anything of VT

Aimee is a general Romantic, but has a particular unhealthy- and one sided- ‘crush’ on Jimmy, and subsequently, Ghost. Jimmy does not reciprocate and uses her feelings to his advantage; Ghost does not reciprocate period

Mary is, sadly, still the late-wife of Johnny Toast. They loved each other, and Toast still loves her- feeling guilt when he catches feelings for other people after her death

Katrina and Ghost were never romantic, but they were extremely close in high school. She would basically be Ghost’s saving comfort through his high school years as a trans dude. Their friendship very quickly… tumbled. after high school, but they reunite years after PIE is established and Katrina is hired as an investigator. Very tense at first, Katrina and Ghost eventually become close again

I know for sure Fred and Collin are certified best friends

… that’s all, I think!

Other than that, I’ll do pretty much any pairing that’s within a reasonable age bracket- excluding anything weird, which goes without saying- or any pose that isn’t romantic with friends or family

And just because I’ve seen them before, im going to specify that Salome, or Sally, is a child, usually around 10 years old when I draw her, though I’ll sometimes draw her when she’s a teenager

Spencer is around a tween and a teen

Fred is in his early twenties and used to idolize Ghost, so I’m not personally comfortable putting them in a relationship

So no Ghost-Spence, Spooky Ghost, and no Sally-Slender

[miscelunaaa]

give yourself a try | myg | teaser

pairing: yoongi x plus-sized female reader

genre: colleagues to lovers, angst, smut, mutual pining, coffee shop au

summary: You’ve got an enormous crush on Yoongi, the machine tech, and, if Jimin is to be believed, the feeling is mutual. A broken espresso machine and a snow storm are all it takes to bring everything crashing down around you. Can you put it all back together yourself? Or will you need some help?

rating: 18+ for complete work

word count: 20k+ (still in edits! this will be released as a two shot!)

teaser wc: around 1.3k :)

warnings for completed fic: frequent POV changes. reader is insecure about her body and has a lot of internalized fatphobia. depictions and conversation about mental health and insecurity. panic attacks. conversations about angsty back story that includes medical issues, infertility, and break-ups. sexual content including but not limited to: making out in public, soft dom yoongi, oral sex, unprotected penetrative sex with other birth control in place, creampie. be sure to read the complete warnings before each part!

warnings for teaser: swearing, content is lightly edited and subject to change in the final posting

notes: What a labor of love this story has been to write. Everything is kind of a dumpster fire right now and I’ve been processing some shit over the past few months, and that’s when this story happened. It was supposed to be a 6k romp in a coffee shop with lots of crack, messy public sex, and abundant health code violations!!! And something happened and now it’s a 20k soft and feelingsy angst fic??? And like maybe the second best smut scene I’ve ever written?? There’s so much I want to talk about with this fic, but I want to let it speak for itself when the time comes. It’s nerve wracking; I’ve never written anything like this before. This is also the first time I’ve written an overtly plus-sized reader, so I hope I’ve done her justice. Drop me a comment or an ask if you’d like to be on the tag list for this! Part 1 will be coming next week!

Oh!! Last thing! The title comes from a song by The 1975. They’re one of my favorite acts of all time; they sit on a shelf inside my heart, right next to BTS and Sufjan Stevens. Enjoy!

— — — — — — —

It’s already been one of those days. The holidays are always a fucking mess; busy, messy, and stressful as hell. The stretch between Christmas and New Years is the messiest of all. Your customers were typically harried, your own personal lives probably stretched thin. Equipment breaking was just whipped cream on the seasonal latte. One of the heads on the machine kept overheating, even after you tried letting off heat from the boiler by running the steam wand and the grouphead. None of it worked, it just kept getting hotter and hotter.

“Y/N,” Jimin turns his head, speaking over his shoulder, “We’ve got a problem.”

You blink at him, glancing over his shoulder as he gives the pressure dial on the machine a tap.

“Huh,” you frown as you hand the customer in front of you his change, directing him to the pick up counter. No one left in line. That’s good. You walk over, pointed the steam wand out, and flip the lever to run it. The gauge’s little arm doesn’t move, staying stubbornly in the red. At least it had stopped rising.

“I’ll make the call, use the other head for now. There are two boilers in that thing, I think. I’ll be right back.”

You step into the back storage room, pull your phone from your back pocket, and call your boss. You already know what he’s going to tell you, but you always made sure to talk to him first. Mostly because you want to make sure he knows what a pain in the ass this fucking machine was, despite his insistence that it’s top of the line.

The line rings and rings, and that fucker just won’t pick up the other line. It’s a pity he pays so well despite being the most absent boss you’d ever worked for. It means you can’t completely hate his guts.

You hang up the call and pop him a quick text:

::: machine seems to have a boiler issue, i’m calling the tech.

boss::: 👍

You roll your eyes. Fucker can’t answer a phone call but can send an emoji. Figures.

You poke your head out of the back room to make sure Jimin is holding his own before making the call. There’s a lull, he’s already finished his drink queue and is leaning against a counter, detail cleaning a portafilter. God, you could have kissed him right then and there just for that. With a little smile playing on your lips, you duck back into the back and search for the barista tech’s phone number, and press call.

It only rings twice before he picks up: “Yoongi Min speaking.”

Ugh, his voice is like melted chocolate, or a freshly made ganache. Dark. Velvety. Rich. You just want to dip your finger in it and suck.

“Hi Yoongi, this is Y/N from KnockBox.”

“Ah, I thought it might be you. I’ll make sure I actually save your number this time. I almost didn’t pick up.”

Weird, he answered after two rings. Almost didn’t pick up your ass. “I don’t blame you for not saving it. The hope would be that I don’t have to call you this often.”

“Mm,” he grunts, “And yet, here we are. What’s the machine doing this time?”

“Boiler issue I think, it’s heating up and staying in the red. Won’t go down after letting steam run, nor the grouphead.”

“Hm.” Yoongi is silent on the other end of the line for a moment. “Don’t use it, but don’t turn it off yet. You’ve got the double boiler machine right?”

“Yes.”

“Keep an eye on both of them. These machines often have faulty switches that don’t trip when they overheat. I can recalibrate them but there’s enough wires and shit that I can’t talk you through it.” He pauses again, and then continues with a sigh. “I can be there in two hours. I know that’s not ideal because you close in an hour …” His voice is low enough that it makes your skin tingle. Waiting for him is no problem; at least you get to look at him for a few minutes during the trade off.

“Yeah, but we need a functioning machine. I have no problem waiting for you.” Cruel, ironic laughter echoes in your skull.

“This time of year is a bullshit season for coffee, I get it. Maybe you could just wait around to let me in, and then lock the door so that it locks behind me when I leave? That way you don’t have to wait on me and you can go home.”

“Yeah, I think we did that last time.”

“Alright, cool, see you then, Y/N.”

“Thank you so much, Yoongi. See you in a couple of hours.”

The line disconnects, and you sit with your head in your hands for a moment before heading back out to the front. Fuck. He was so attractive you can hardly stand it.

“How was the dreamboat?” Jimin asks, trying to play it as cool as he can. His lip quirks when you throw him a look; he knows exactly how attractive you find the machine tech your boss contracts out, and he will never let you live it down.

“He must be out at another job. He can’t be here for another two hours.” You said the words as plainly as you could, not trying to give your coworker the satisfaction of seeing you squirm.

“Fuck, seriously?” Jimin pushed himself off the counter and placed the portafilter on the machine’s drip tray. “You want me to stay? I don’t have class tonight.”

“Nah, it’s fine, I think it’s supposed to snow,” you say, casually. Like hell if you were going to miss seeing the man who’d haunted your dreams since you’d first had to call him. “I’ll just let him in, then leave.”

“Or, hear me out, you could fuck him in the back and then let him work on the machine and leave.”

“Ugh, Jimin, next to the mop bucket? That’s fucking disgusting.”

“And so is this crush you’ve had on him for the past few months! It’s so obvious even the babies have started to talk about it. Jungkook has plotting about how to get you two together since he caught you staring at Yoongi’s dump truck ass!”

“He’s what??” Jungkook is one of the student baristas, typically an opener because most of his classes are in the afternoon.

“He and Sarah AND Mercedes! Shit, Mercedes is about ready to put the moves on him just so you suck up your feelings and make your move to stop her.” All three of your little baby baristas are traitors?! Since when?

“Those little punks, I’m going to make them scrub the back splash bricks with a toothbrush.”

“That’s an empty threat and you know it. You’d rather do it yourself.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. You thought you’d been stone cold about this crush, that you’d been nothing but professional and courteous. Instead you’d gotten caught by four of your five coworkers. How had they even known you were staring? You were trying to be as inconspicuous as possible by doing cleaning tasks!

“Does everyone know about this, Jimin? Is nothing sacred anymore?”

“Yes. Literally everyone knows. Even regulars. The cute little old guy who brings in his newspaper every morning? He’s asked me about it, and how could I lie to him? So he knows.”

“God, Jimin, I get it, everyone knows.”

“Seokjin, that hot dilfy lawyer? He knows. He ships the shit out of y’all.”

“I’m going to end every single one of you.”

“He says that when y’all get married he’ll give you a discount on your wills and powers of attorney.”

You groan, “You’re all dead to me.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that if a guy like Seokjin can see it happening, anything can happen. You know how jaded that guy is about relationships. He wouldn’t just say something like that.” Jimin’s voice is almost serious now, he’s speaking more earnestly in spite of your obvious irritation.

“Oh please, Yoongi only knows I exist because of all the times I’ve had to annoy him with maintenance calls.”

— — — — — — —

thank you for reading! drop me an ask and tell me what you think. find me in various places at my carrd :)

©miscelunaaa 2022. my work is only found on this blog and under my ao3 pseud. do not, under any circumstances, copy or repost my work. thank you.

posted: 2.16.2022

[lacheri]

11:29 PM, 4/20

pairing: stoner!Eren and fem bodied reader

content: smoking/drugs, dumbification, finger fucking, penetration, porn without plot, minors DNI

summary: eren's been trying to fuck you for years now, and he's got a different angle to play at this time. all it takes are a few pretty words and free weed.

wc: 3.5k

notes: happy 4/20 lmfao i wrote this in two hours and i'm posting this unedited and half asleep

‘Rolling up, you sliding through?’

Your phone illuminated brightly against your face as you held your phone above you, your bed’s soft comforter brought up to your chin. You bit your lip, contemplating Eren’s invitation. Your eyes glanced to the clock in the corner of your phone screen, blinking a couple of times. ‘11:29 PM’ it read back.

‘Pleaaaase, 4/20 is almost over ):’ Eren had resorted to double texting, and you sighed, his battle easily won. You tried to believe it was fought hard, but you knew perfectly well that you were wrapped around Eren’s pretty little finger. He called, you answered. Simple as that.

‘I want a blunt all to myself for this Jaeger. I’m literally in bed right now’ you typed back quickly, clicking the off button on the side of your device, begrudgingly throwing your blanket off your body as the heat escaped. You gazed down at your attire, sweatshirt and sleep shorts bundled up to your form, and you sighed once again. Eren was going to have to accept you like this, because there was absolutely no way in Hell that you could fathom throwing on real clothes this late at night.

‘What’re you wearing? Send pics’

‘Eren I’m LITERALLY!!! On my way to your house right now’. This boy was going to be the death of you, or at least whatever brain cells you had left.

Fuzzy pink slides adorned on your feet, hair thrown up in the messiest ‘neat’ bun you could manage, you pocketed your keys and wallet. You grabbed your bookbag in the corner of your room full of paraphernalia, knowing well by now that Eren was too lazy to buy bongs or bowls, and made your way out of your home, locking the front door on your way out. You hit the unlock button on your car, throwing the bag in the passenger seat and set out for your late night journey.

It wasn’t uncommon for your best friend to hit you up so late, in fact it was Eren’s peak hours for hanging out. He never genuinely inconvenienced you, just an annoyance because every single time you got that invite text or call, your head would have just hit the pillow beneath you, sleep on the horizon. Traffic was the best at this time too, you would reason on the way there, virtually no cars on the road, turning your usual twenty minute ride into a ten minute one.

When you rolled up Eren’s driveway, you could see the dark red lights of his bedroom through the upstairs window on the front of the house. You picked your phone out of your pocket, texting a quick ‘I’m here’. You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and climbed out of your car. By the time you made it to his front door, Eren was swinging it open, a goofy smile on his face.

“Just us tonight?” you asked, referring to the lack of cars in the driveway as you glided through the entryway.

“Yeah, feeling greedy. We haven’t hung out just us in awhile,” Eren smirked, leaning back and letting his eyes travel down your spine as you slid by him. He reached and pulled the door closed, locking it quickly and following quickly behind you.

You spent most of your nights here, knowing the pathway to Eren’s room. You jogged up the stairs, oblivious to Eren’s eyes trained in on your bouncing ass in your loose fitted shorts. His bedroom door was wide open, and you navigated over clothes thrown haphazardly on his floor to his unmade bed. You bounced as you sat down, hitting the mattress with your full weight and unzipping your bag, picking out your favorite bowl. Eren lifted the corner of his mouth, clearly amused at how at home you had made yourself.

“Comfy?” he asked, a teasing tone to his voice as he joined you on the bed, rolling tray and jar of bud in hand.

“Mhm,” you hummed, eyeing Eren’s hands as they set quickly to work. His grinder sat on the bed behind him, and after picking out a few clusters of green from the jar, he reached behind him and popped the top off, going through the motions of getting prepped for the smoke session. “What’d you do today?”

Eren shot you a dumb founded look, “It’s 4/20, what do you think I’ve been doing all day?”

You rolled your eyes, throwing your hands up in surrender, “Just making a joke, asshole.”

He chuckled, extending his hand out so you could pass him your bowl, packing it not long after. Eren looked around his mattress for a lighter, eyebrows drawn together as he couldn’t find one. You smirked then, extending the black lighter you had packed in your bag, and Eren smiled gratefully. He flicked the lighter once it was in his possession, pointer finger resting over the choke as he placed the pipe to his lips, inhaling deeply as the fresh green turned to ash. He lifted his long finger off the choke hole, removing the pipe as he held the smoke in for a few seconds, eyes instantly glazing as he exhaled.

Eren was one of those smokers that the second he had a hit of weed, it was written all over his face that he was high, even if he wasn’t. When Eren picked up the habit in highschool, his parents knew instantly what the boy had been doing during his “study sessions” with his friends. Now that he was an adult and moved out of his childhood home, Eren was pretty free in his indulgences, no longer carrying around eye drops to try and help him appear as innocent as possible.

After his second hit, Eren passed you back your bowl and lighter, coughing lightly as he exhaled, “What about you? What’d you do today?”

“Not much, spent all day watching documentaries and smoking my vape,” you laughed lightly, positioning the pipe to your own lips.

Eren’s eyes drank in the sight of your pretty plump lips as they wrapped around the tip of the pipe, fingers copying his as you bent your finger over the choke. The lighter ignited after a single flick, warm colored flames illuminating your face. It was like Eren was watching you in slow motion, but it was always like that with you, even when he wasn’t high. He could see the fire in your eyes as they focused downwards to your actions, and Eren felt his mouth go dry. You pulled the bowl away, making eye contact with him as the smoke exited your lips, licking your face as it traveled towards the ceiling on your exhale.

The two of you made small talk as you passed the bowl back and forth, Eren making a face once the bud was dead. He packed another bowl, repeating the rotation until that one was dead. The two of you thoroughly fried, he put the pipe on his bedside table and leaned his back against the wall by his bed. You mirrored him, resting your head on his broad shoulder as the two of you enjoyed each other’s company.

“We should make edibles this weekend,” you suggested, fingers playing with the drawstring of your hoodie. “Maybe invite the group over and get zooted and play a game or something.”

“Zooted?” Eren snorted. “I haven’t heard that word in years, grandma.”

You shot Eren a glare, which he began to laugh at, “I’m hip, okay? Zooted is making a comeback.”

“Stop trying to fit in with the youth, Myrtle,” he teased, wrapping his arm around your waist to tuck you into his side. “Man, if I was only 50 years older.”

You lightly elbowed his side, “You wish you could bag 70 year old me. I’m a fucking catch.”

“I wish I could bag you period,” Eren confessed, probably for the hundredth time of you knowing him. “How come you’ve never let me take you out?”

“Because, you’d just fuck and dump me and then I wouldn’t have a plug anymore,” you pouted, purposefully snuggling in closer.

“Is that what you really think?” he asked seriously, positioning his neck to the side so he could look down at you.

You looked up, centimeters apart from his face, “That’s what you did with all the other girls.”

“But you’re my best friend,” Eren frowned, taking his hand and pushing your hair behind your ear. “I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Don’t know if I wanna’ really find that out,” you smiled sadly.

“C’mon, let me prove it to you,” Eren licked his lips. “Fuck me, right now, and I’ll take you out tomorrow.”

You felt a pulse in your pussy suddenly, gulping spit down as you broke the eye contact, “I don’t know ‘Ren. We’ve been friends since highschool, what if it makes things weird?”

“You can’t look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you’ve never thought about it, about us,” his voice was a hare above a whisper. “Because I think about it all the time. ‘Is why I hit you up all the time, I like you stupid, I always have.”

This confession was so different from all the other ones. Eren was practically begging to let him in between your legs on a weekly basis, ever since you had met him. Never once had he been this honest though, so genuine sounding about his feelings. He had a point as well, you thought about being with him all the time. You were always at his house or going out somewhere together, you spent all your free time with him, of course you would have feelings for Eren.

“If,” you started, your eyes blinking rapidly as you returned your gaze to his red ones. “I say yes, and things are weird after, we’re going to pretend like this never happened and we go back to being friends.”

“Deal.”

Eren’s lips crashed into your’s, any and all hesitation rolling off your body as you eagerly returned his kiss. His other arm circled you, bringing you in somehow even closer to him as your hands grabbed both of his cheeks, feeling the flex of his jaw as you smashed your lips together. Eren’s hand traveled under the hem of your sweatshirt to the small of your back, guiding you to sit in his lap. Legs on either side of his hips, your tongues slipped through the both of your lips, meeting in the middle.

Maybe it was the high, maybe it was Eren, but the throbbing in your cunt only expanded as Eren smoothed his hands all over the middle of your torso. They traveled up to the swell of your breasts, free from a bra, cupping both tits in his large hands. His thumbs slid and teased your nipples, hardening instantly under his touch. You arched your back, pushing your chest into his palms even more, your hips flicking as he tweaked your nipples between his fingers.

You both moaned into each other’s mouths at the roll of your hips, feeling Eren’s dick harden fast underneath your clothed center. Eren had been wearing a pair of thin grey sweatpants, leaving not much to the imagination while he was in this state. You felt his lips scrape against your bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth and sucking gently. He released it, a string of saliva linking to the two of you together.

“I’ve been imagining this for forever,” Eren’s eyes were glazed and deep red when you met his gaze. “I just never thought this would happen.”

“I’ve been wanting you too,” you admitted, your dirty little secret exposed.

He smirked at your confession, hands still toying with your breasts. Silencing you once more with his passionate kiss, he moved his hands downwards and to your back until he met the waistband of your shorts. He easily slid under the hem, gripping your ass in his palms, kneading and spreading you apart. You felt your pussy flutter, the indirect contact sending you into a deep pit of arousal, your senses heightened greatly.

It was like Eren could read your mind, and his fingers traveled to your spread cunt over his lap, running a finger over your slit over your panties. You whined, pressing your hips down to achieve a greater pressure from his hand, in turn allowing your wetness to seep through the cotton of your panties. Eren chuckled against your lips, reading your body language loud and clear. He pushed the fabric aside, allowing his knuckles to brush directly into your folds. You moaned into his mouth as he spread your arousal around your vulva. When his thumb bumped against your clit, you felt your patience snap entirely.

“‘Ren, need your fingers, now,” you panted, eyes half lidded as his kiss traveled to the underside of your jaw.

“You got it, baby girl,” he hummed into your skin. There was no resistance as he pushed his middle finger into your opening. “Fuck, you’re fucking soaked. This all for me?”

You couldn’t find your voice, nodding and whining out as he pumped his single digit into your pussy. His touch was slow, deliberate, trying to memorize every single ridge and flutter of your walls as you pulsed around him. Eren’s mouth was dry, dick hard and throbbing, completely lost in the feeling of you sucking his finger in deeper. He couldn’t comprehend the fact that his cock would be replacing his fingers soon, finally fucking you like he had imagined for years now.

His middle finger dared to pull out, and you let out a desperate whine, thinking that was his plan. You gasped in relief and pleasure as his ring finger pushed past your entrance, clenching tightly on his fingers. Eren found solace in this, perceiving your flutters as permission to go finger fuck you at an ungodly pace. He positioned his wrist as a more comfortable angle, and his fingers pumped inside of you at the speed of light.

Your eyebrows came together, mouth hanging open as you squeaked and whined, Eren’s other hand finding purchase on your jaw. He squeezed your cheeks together lightly, forcing your lips to pout as he maintained direct eye contact with you. His own lips hung open, and you could see your reflection in his blown out pupils. It only enticed you more, you looked heavenly. Eren couldn’t have worded it before himself if you had verbalized this, whole heartedly agreeing with you.

“You’re so tight,” Eren groaned out, his hand leaving your chin and slipping two fingers in between your lips. “Suck, baby.”

You did as you were told, Eren’s fingers slowing to fuck up into roughly, hitting your sweet spot over and over. Your tongue circled around his knuckles, lips vibrating on his fingers as your moans were silenced. Eren was thoroughly enjoying himself, seeing you completely under his control like this. You were putty in the palm of his hands, literally.

He slid his fingers out of your cunt so suddenly, feeling the gush of your arousal against your inner thighs as his hand left your shorts. His other hand fell out of your mouth, moving back to your jaw as you felt the wetness of your spit spread across your face. Eren brought the hand he was fucking you with to his own mouth, and you were practically drooling at the sight of him sucking your pussy juices off of his fingers.

“Delicious,” he cooed after he pulled them from his lips. “Just like I always imagined.”

You took this as your opportunity to remove some of your clothing. You tugged your hoodie over your head, tossing it on the floor. Eren followed suit, removing his own white t-shirt and reattaching his lips to yours. You tasted hints of yourself, not at all repulsed, in fact the exact opposite. You tasted sweet, tart but sweet.

You pushed yourself away from Eren, scooting off his lap in order to tear off your shorts and panties. Eren mirrored you, almost ripping his pants and boxers off as he slid them past his thighs and ankles to the floor. He remained in his seated position, eyes swirling and fingers twitching at his sides as he watched your crawl back to him. You placed a sloppy kiss to his lips before turning your body around, placing your feet on the mattress on either side of his lap. Sat in a full crouch now, you grabbed Eren’s cock, pumping him a few times with both of your hands in a screw motion. He moaned from behind you, his own hands gripping your ass cheeks to support your frame.

You guided Eren to your hovering pussy, teasing your clit, soaking him in your dripping heat. He cursed underneath you, his right hand moving to your hip as you lowered yourself on his length. Eren groaned loudly as the feelings of satisfaction and relief flowed through his body, his own heightened senses taking over. You moved to rest on your knees when you felt Eren bottom out inside of you, a string of moans and whimpers leaving your lips. You arched your back and Eren leaned back more, eyes stationed on your beautiful round ass.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he ran a hand up to the back of your head, untangling your messy bun so your hair fell free down your back. “C’mon baby, bounce on my dick.”

You lifted your hips, slamming down to his pelvis urgently. It was so overwhelming, the feeling of his cock filling you to the brim making your brain empty. Your eyes screwed shut, mouth hanging open dumbly as drool coated the swell of your lips. You bounced again, and Eren yanked your hair back as he watched your pussy stretch around him, close to snapping and drilling into you as he saw the creamy ring form around his base. You were a moaning mess, unable to think clearly as your body took over. Pushing all your weight into your knees and palms resting on Eren’s thighs, you fastened your pace, ass bouncing every time Eren’s fat tip brushed up against your cervix.

You felt the sharp sting on your cheek and heard the resounding slap of his hand on your right cheek, tears springing to your eyes, “Fuck, Eren, you feel so good.”

Taking your hips into his strong hands, Eren was finally at his brink as he thrusted hard up into. You yelped, letting yourself go limp as he slammed into your cunt at a dangerous pace. He was in full control now, fucking you into a stupor.

Your hand left it’s home of his thigh, traveling to your aching center to rub your clit. Eren’s position was perfect, rubbing the underside of his shaft against your g-spot. When you opened your eyes, you could see his toes curling, legs flexing and twitching. He wasn’t going to last long, your pussy putting him under a spell. You circled your clit with your pointer and middle fingers, throat raw from all the noises escaping you. All you felt was Eren, all you could hear was Eren, he was filling your entire being up, replacing any and all thoughts they may have lingered in your brain.

“Gonna’ cum,” you whined, fingers moving even faster.

“I’m so fucking close, fucking cum baby,” Eren growled, thrusts desperate and becoming irregular.

You stilled above him, a breathless scream heaving from your throat as you gushed around him. Your pussy clenched so tight, and Eren couldn’t hold back. Because as empty as your brain was, Eren was in the exact same state as he shot his thick load into you, filling your tight cunt up with his cum. You milked his cock, walls convulsing in your mind blowing orgasm. Black spots appeared in your vision when you realized you had forgotten to breathe, you took a deep gasp of air.

You were a panting, sweaty mess hovering over him. Eren was in awe, watching beads of his white seed leak out of your center. He’d worry about the consequences when his brain could comprehend what had just happened, but for now, the deep primal urge of filling you up was sedated. Eren didn’t think he could’ve imagined fucking you for the first time any better than this. And when you finally lifted your hips to release him, he felt a wave of sadness, your beautiful pussy no longer surrounding him.

“Did you, oh my God, Eren,” you lifted your hand in front of you, seeing the creamy white of his cum smeared on your fingers. “You came inside of me?”

“Sorry, baby,” he caught his breath as you turned your head over your shoulder to glare at him. “I’ll buy you Plan B in the morning, promise.”

“I’m on the pill, but still,” you huffed, letting the anger leave you as you realized Eren would take responsibility. “You didn’t know that.”

Eren laughed without humor, “Oh well, at least I know for next time. Now c’mere, wanna’ hold you while I roll a blunt.”

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

[kythed]

“teenage wasteland.” kuroo tetsurou x reader

4:08pm.

“yo,” kuroo says, opening the door quickly after you ring the bell, “you finally made it.” 

“what do you mean, finally?” you complain, kicking off your shoes and slipping inside. the dry heat of his family home’s living room assaults your bare face, a sharp contrast to the december frigidity outside. “you texted me like ten minutes ago.”

“felt like longer,” kuroo says with a crooked grin. “you want something to drink?” 

“water?”

“I kinda meant something stronger, but sure, water,” kuroo says, filling a glass at the kitchen sink. you furrow your brows.

“something stronger? I’m sorry, but last time I checked we were still underage,” you say, and kuroo laughs breathily — it’s almost a giggle, actually. for the first time since arriving, you notice an odd flush in his cheeks. “oh my god. are you drunk?”

“drunk?” kuroo gasps. “no, no. tipsy, yes. drunk, no.” 

“tetsurou,” you scold, reluctantly letting him pull you towards the hallway. “all those big, bad college boys can’t have been a very good influence on you.”

“I’ve had a stash of jack daniels hidden beneath my bed since sophomore year,” kuroo whispers conspiratorially. “those ‘big, bad college boys’ have nothing to do with it. speaking of which — you want some?” 

you shake your head vehemently and dig your heels into the carpet, realizing he’s trying to drag you into his bedroom. despite being kuroo tetsurou’s official best friend of a decade, you’ve never been inside his room before. you’ve never been inside any boy’s room before, actually — you’ve never been much of a rule breaker. 

(you suppose that’s why you and kuroo get along. you’re forever the straight-laced goody goody, and he’s forever the secretly bad, outwardly good honor roll kid.)

“I don’t drink,” you insist, and kuroo loops his arms around your neck. you stiffen. “and stop being so touchy. it’s freaking me out.”

“what?” kuroo says, feigning offense. “you don’t like my hugs?” 

“no!” you say, and he shoots you an exaggerated eye roll. “you’re being weird. I can probably count the number of times you’ve voluntarily hugged me on one hand.” 

kuroo ignores you, choosing to instead pick you up and toss you over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold. 

“kuroo tetsurou, you’d better quit it before I call your mother!” you pound on his back, a little taken aback to feel his shoulder muscles rippling under your palms as he staunchly marches you into his room. “I do not want to enter your disgusting cave of a room, you teenage garbage troll!”

“getting real creative with the insults there,” kuroo laughs, setting you down and backing up against the door to block you from running out. “come onnnnn. I thought we could play a game of monopoly or something. listen to the radio. finish the bottle before my mom comes home and whips my hide.”

you sigh and perch your hands on your hips. “so that’s why you invited me over.”

“no, no,” kuroo protests, crouching to pull a clear bottle of amber colored liquid out from beneath his bed. “I also just vastly enjoy your company.”

“why not just throw it out?” you ask, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed. 

kuroo’s room is a lot neater than you imagined it would be — navy bedspread tightly tucked in at the corners, vinyl floor completely clear save for a small rug. his desk is probably the messiest part of the entire room, holding an old, chunky desktop that’s covered in post-its with smudged, scribbled notes, ranging from “email prof. miyazawa about missing grade” to “buy mom flowers to apologize for broken mug.” 

there are a couple posters on the wall, too, one for the japanese national volleyball team, and one for some punk-looking band dressed in an overabundance of leather, ripped denim, and hair feathers. 

“this shit was expensive,” kuroo says, gesturing to the bottle before screwing the cap off and taking a long draught. your eyes widen as he drinks down a quarter of the remaining liquid, his adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. “I can’t let it go to waste.”

“I think you’ve probably had enough of that,” you say, gently twisting it from his hands. kuroo smiles angelically before coming to tower over you. 

“if you’re not gonna drink it, I will,” he says, reaching out to grasp the bottle’s neck. you hold onto it stubbornly.

“you’re clearly wasted, tetsu,” you say. “just let me throw it away.” 

“I may have a small drinking problem,” kuroo says, “but I’m sober enough to know I’m not about to throw away the fifty bucks I spent on that. give it.” 

“no!” 

“yes.”

“nooooo!”

“yes!” 

kuroo tries to wrench the bottle from you, and you spend a solid thirty seconds wiggling in his grasp before finally pulling it away. in an impulsive attempt to keep kuroo from getting even drunker, you bring the rim of the bottle to your lips and chug the rest of the whiskey.

kuroo’s eyes widen, and he guffaws loudly. “that was a lot of alcohol just now.”

you nod, wincing at the acrid taste, unwilling to swallow — the liquid is still swishing in your cheeks. you move to go spit it out in kuroo’s sink, but he grabs your arm.

“do not spit that out,” he warns. “that’s over two hours’ worth of minimum wage salary. I don’t work twenty hours a week in the wendy’s drive-thru just for you to flush it down the drain.” 

“mmmm,” you protest, breathing through your nose. “hrghhhh mmm mm mhm.”

“I have no idea what you’re trying to say,” kuroo says, obviously trying to stifle his laughter. 

you gesture wildly to your face, and then to the empty bottle, and then back to your face. 

for a moment, kuroo wrinkles his nose, and then slowly smoothes out his expression. a small smile stretches across his lips, and he steps close to you. you’re acutely aware of your personal bubble being popped, as well of the fact that he smells strongly of old spice and mango body wash. 

“I’ll do it then.”

“mm?” you squeak in confusion when he takes your chin in one hand and guides your face close to his. you’re not sure if you’re smelling the alcohol on his breath or tasting it on our own tongue. you’ve never been this physically close to your best friend in your life, and you can firmly say you’re absolutely petrified. you shake your head vehemently as he slowly leans down, tilting his head. 

“calm down,” he says quietly, and in spite of yourself, you do. “I’m just taking a drink.” 

then he presses his mouth to yours, and you freeze. oh, shit. 

kuroo wedges his tongue between your lips, forcing them open, and then he sucks the whiskey from your mouth, one hand keeping your jaw open while the other snakes around your waist. your eyes widen just as his close, almost as if he’s enjoying the kiss. slowly, you close yours too, letting yourself melt into him as he keeps kissing you even after swallowing the liquid. 

it lasts for a good ten seconds before you reluctantly pull away, letting your hands rest on his shoulders. he’s smiling, evidently very pleased with himself. 

“what the hell was that?” you say breathlessly, searching his face. 

“I was thirsty,” kuroo says nonchalantly. “and a little drunk. and you’re very pretty, as far as best friends go.” 

you feel like you should be offended, yet you can’t quite bring yourself to be. you’re definitely flustered, though, and a little embarrassed. (okay, a lot embarrassed.)

“I think, um, I think I should go,” you say, breaking eye contact. kuroo raises a hand to stop you, but you brush him off, bounding out of the room to grab your bag and keys from the kitchen counter. “we can talk about this later, okay? you need to go take a nap or something.”

“no, hey, wait —”

but you’re already out the door and in the car, jamming the key into ignition. you just kissed your best friend. or did you? does that count as a kiss? or was that just kuroo being stupid? your mind spins with useless speculations on the drive home, and as you sprawl out on your bed for an hour afterwards. it’s not until later that evening that you check your phone, greeted by a handful of social media notifications… and a text from kuroo.

with shaking hands, you swipe it open, face immediately splitting into a grin.

kuroo: sorry about that

kuroo: ok, not really

kuroo: I’m not that sorry

kuroo: cuz you’re a good kisser

kuroo: a really good kisser

you: you too

you wait for a moment as the three little dots on kuroo’s side pop up.

kuroo: thanks

kuroo: I was still kind of stupid tho

kuroo: my b

you: you regret it?

your fingers shake in suspense as you await his answer, feeling all the world like a lovestruck fifteen year old. you’re a little disgusted to find yourself suddenly crushing on kuroo tetsurou of all people, but what can you say? maybe falling for your best friend is a little cliche. maybe it’s a little overdone. maybe the fact that you kissed him with a mouthful of whiskey belongs in a cheesy teen movie, but you can’t help but find yourself delighted that it happened. 

kuroo: nope. not at all.

kuroo: not at all.

[kevin-the-bruyne]

YOU MADE A TIMELINE 😂💀 I can't wait to see the full post 👀

One day Akame is going to write a tell all bio (okay probably just Jin) and it's going to be like yeah we fucked and were in love and had the messiest breakup in the world yolo 🤷🏻

Also, hockey fic is unmatched tho... 👀

i don’t know how to break it to you that it isn’t…one post 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

like I have been genuinely wondering how to talk about any of this because there’s a couple of things to lay out like: 1) major characteristics of each era 2) Formative lives of each era [it’s always the lives] 3) Zee and New’s (and p’aofs 😭😭😭) position/ mindframe during every era 4) dynamics during filming (I need the rest of the behind cutie pie 😭😭😭😭)

Thus far I’ve talked about it always as a response to someone asking about a specific thing hahahaha - so the timeline infographic is 100% thanks to you 🤣🤣🤣

[im very normal about them yes yessss totally normal….my precioussss]

in MY DEFENSE i have warned you guys several times not to poke the beast (my znn obsession) and y’all went ahead and poked the beast anyway (three nice anons) - what did you think was going to happen???

Also I have proof that I 100% predicted the Stuck on You performance so I am overbearingly convinced that I am right about everything HAHAHAHA

Akanishi Jin’s gay panic really destroyed kattun at their peak 😆😆 like it must have been so painful but it was SO entertaining to watch from the sidelines - the constant goss THE THEORIES *chefs kiss* - really puts even the mewgulf fallout to shame

The one direction breakup leading to the boom of hockey rpf has to be my number 1 favorite conspiracy theory (and they’re right!!!). I know y’all have great writers, my dearest @mr-iskender used to be one of them. I’ve read several Marchand x Bergeron fics but my true hockey OTP is Gritty x Claude Giroux

(I’m sorry anon I am a shameless Brad Marchand apologist - I was even blacklisted by the Tampa Bay tumblr girlies 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣)

[genshin-garbage]

Happy Birthday Xiao!

It was Xiao’s birthday, and his childhood friends Lumine and Venti go about celebrating it using very different methods. All Xiao really wants is to spend time with Lumine, but he ends up with more than he bargained for.

(Yes I know it’s late and I’m posting this less 30 minutes before his birthday is over. Let me live I’m trying my best here lmao.)

“Happy birthday Xiao!” Lumine exclaimed while holding a wrapped box.

“Lumine? What are you doing here?” Xiao asked as he closed the door to his shared dorm.

“Venti lent me his keys to tell me he was going to be a bit late getting back. So I took the opportunity to surprise you for your birthday! Do you like it?” The dorm was cleaned, while he wasn’t the messiest (unlike his roommate), he didn’t vacuum or dust the dorm as often as he should have. Neither Xiao or Venti cared too much but it was a refreshing surprise to see the room cleaner than it had been in months.

“You didn’t have to do this much, just being with you is enough.”

“But I wanted to! You do so much for me, it’s the least I could do on your special day. Here! I got you a gift too!” She hands over a neatly wrapped present. When he opened it, inside was a handmade cardigan. It was dark green and had a pattern of glaze lilies and qingxin flowers clumsily embroidered onto the edges. On the right side next to the buttons, a small yaksha mask was also embroidered on it.

“I had Xinyan teach me how to sew and embroider. I’m not very good but I hope you like it! It’s a bit late in the season but spring can get a little chilly and I noticed the the jacket you always wear was a bit warm for spring.”

Xiao took off his jacket and put on the cardigan. It was comfortable and smelled like Lumine. “Thank you, I like it.”

“I’m glad! There’s some almond tofu in the fridge, I used the same recipe Verr Goldet used when we were kids so hopefully it tastes just as good. I’m going to go use the communal kitchen to make you some dinner. I’ll be right ba-“

Xiao suddenly grabs her wrist as she turns around to leave. “Wait. I’ve been meaning to give you this, close your eyes and hold still.” She does so and Xiao reaches to grab something in his desk’s drawer. Lumine is tempted to peak when she feels Xiao doing something with her hair but decided to wait.

“There. You can look now.” Lumine opens her eyes and looks at herself with the camera of Xiao’s phone. Xiao had put a beautiful crystal butterfly hair clip in her hair. It was light blue and white in color and looked like the rare crystalflies she saw in a documentary she watched and talked to Xiao about not too long ago.

“It’s beautiful Xiao! Thank you!” Her smile was bright and Xiao blushed. He turned to face away from her to hide his blush.

“It’s nothing. I just saw it and remembered you talking about crystalflies so I bought it.”

Lumine kissed his cheek on impulse and Xiao’s face grew even redder. He turned his head back to look at her, eyes wide in surprise. Realizing what she did, she blushed too and panicked.

“I’m- I’m sorry! I’ll uh- I’ll get on that dinner! Venti should be back soon so I’ll make some for him too.” And speak of the devil Venti opened the door to see the two flustered friends “Ah Venti! Good timing! I was just about to go downstairs to make dinner! I’ll be back later with food!” With that, she rushed past an amused Venti and went downstairs.

“Sooooooo, Xiao, mind telling me the story? Did you finally confess to her?” Venti teased. Xiao was still recovering from shock.

“She kissed my cheek...” Venti could practically see the hearts in his eyes, his friend was truly hopeless.

“So did you?”

“Huh? Did what?”

Venti sighed “Did you tell her how you feel?”

Xiao scowled a little. “No, and I don’t plan on it. She deserves someone better.”

Venti wanted to slam his head against the wall. “I’ve been TELLING you she feels the same way towards you! Isn’t that proof enough that you’re good enough for her? Archons, I’ve known you and Lumine since we were in diapers and I’m tired of seeing you two go at this nonsense! Ugh! Anyway, happy birthday Xiao. Here, had to pick this up so that’s why I’m late. He hands Xiao a bottle of wine, because of course he did. Xiao raised an eyebrow and Venti chuckled. “I’m joking! Here’s your real present, open it later when you’re alone, trust me.”

Xiao, in that moment, did not trust Venti one bit.

“What’s inside?” Xiao raised his eyebrow again.

“Relax, you’ll enjoy it. It’s not going to be like last year.” The previous year he had almost gotten them kicked out of the dorm with a gift he made with a kid named Klee who he occasionally help babysit. The present was a bomb that blew up and set the entire floor on fire. Had one of the heads of the student council, Jean, not recognized the particular pattern the bomb made and told the university where the bomb came from they definitely would have gotten expelled or at least kicked out of the dorm.

“Fine, I’ll trust you.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lumine later came back and served them dinner, she had to go back to her room soon after. The next morning Venti was gone and Xiao was alone. He opened the present and froze when he saw what was inside.

It was a bra, and knowing Venti it was probably Lumine’s, as well as a note reading ‘you’re welcome!’

Venti was dead the next time he saw him.

[thetriggeredhappy]

Could i request an ace sniper fic? I really like that headcannon, and i dont think i've seen much fic about it

absolutely and hell yeah, anon. aspec sniper is best sniper. went with ace/aro specifically for this one but every iteration of aspec is fair and valid. also the demo-sniper-scout friendship because i love the idea of them hanging out

(no warnings)

-

Lunch break, Hightower. Scout and Demo were the only two who ever consistently visited Sniper in Hightower on account of being the only ones who would ever bother going all the way to wherever he’d posted up for the day, and they were aware of that fact, and so had started a habit of eating lunch up there with him whenever they could. It was a good system. Especially because going to that trouble had the added bonus of privacy, being able to talk about things they didn’t feel like talking about in front of the other mercs. Not that Sniper was particularly talkative—he preferred to listen.

Things they were embarrassed about were a topic, sometimes.

“—and so I’m beatin’ myself up over it, right? Like, yeah I’m barely scrapin’ by on my second senior year and workin’ one job for real and another one under the table and I’ve got sports the rest of the time so of course I can’t pay much attention to her, so figured she’d get annoyed, but I still felt bad right? But then, turns out, buddy from my track team sees her like four days after we break up holdin’ hands with some other guy!” Scout rambled from his place vaguely lounged back against Demo’s arm as both Sniper and Demo ate their respective lunches from their respectively marked tupperwares. None of them remembered who started it, but they tended to sit almost shoulder-to-shoulder, and it had escalated into leaning against each other and a wall and looking out over the field as they talked. “So, like, man, wantin’ to focus on her college stuff and too busy for dating, yeah right.”

“What you get, dating a lass who’s younger than you, lad,” Demo hummed around his mouthful.

“Yeah, yeah. Only a year difference, but man, felt it all at once, huh? Anyways. She got told off by a buddy of mine about it, and we had an argument at some point, but... yeah. That’s the messiest breakup I ever had, probably, just because everyone knew everyone,” Scout trailed off. Silence for a second. “What about you guys?”

“Told you mine,” Demo said, had to pause to finish his mouthful to get the rest out. “Chemistry class, dated three times, she cheated twice.”

“Oh yeah. Jesus, yeah, fuck,” Scout sighed, remembering. “Why’d you put up with that a second time?”

“She was cute,” Demo shrugged, almost dislodging Scout and jostling Sniper a little on accident. “Ah, sorry Mickey.”

“Y’alright,” Sniper assured under his breath.

“Any messy breakup stories for us?” Demo prompted.

Scout tilted his head a little back towards Sniper. “Hey, yeah. I feel like I ramble about relationship stuff like, constantly—“

“You ramble about everything constantly,” Demo teased.

“Eh, fuck you,” Scout said offhandedly, rolling his eyes. “But I talk about that stuff constantly, and Demo brings up stuff sometimes, but you’ve, like, never told us any stories.”

“Not much to tell,” Sniper shrugged simply. “Not my thing. End of story, really.”

“Not your thing?” Scout repeated, audibly confused, sitting up a little bit to look back at Sniper. “What’s that mean?”

“Never much liked dating, relationships, any of that,” Sniper replied without needing to think too deeply about it. “Didn’t care much, that’s all.”

“Thought that was me as well for a while,” Demo said carefully. “Realized I just didn’t have time for it, mostly, between the job and friends and that, so I’d rather wait until I do. Same with you?”

“Nah. Had the time, had the energy, just didn’t like it. Not my speed. Made me uncomfortable, mostly,” Sniper murmured, itching idly under his hat. “Went out with a few sheilas from around, they’d either properly like me or not, and... I just never liked them much. Mostly went because I didn’t know what else to do. Thought I was turning down too many chances, something like that. But then I figured out, nah. Just skip the whole thing.”

“Wait, for like, dating? Or for one-night stands?” Scout asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Both. Or, er, neither. Wanted nothing to do with either.” Sniper pulled his hat back on straight. “Figured for a minute in my, er... must’ve been mid-twenties? Figured maybe my problem was just that I was into blokes instead, but nah. Just as bad. Just as... nothing, really. So I stopped bothering with forcing it.”

“Good on you,” Demo said appraisingly, jostling him cheerfully, and the corner of Sniper’s mouth quirked up a little.

“Nothing, huh?” Scout repeated, musing aloud. “What, so... like, how people will go on a first date and just never try and call each other again? Just, no sparks? But for everyone?”

“Presumably. Don’t have a frame of reference for what those sparks are like,” he said, then sat up a little a moment later. “No, wait, I know I’ve felt, er... felt something similar. Not sparks, the, er, the nervousness. Then I realized that wasn’t a romance sort of thing, it was me being, er... jealous, and intimidated, and just thinking they were good-looking objectively. Happened with a few blokes, s’why I thought I’d try men for a while. Didn’t last, not past properly meeting them. That’s all, really.”

A nod of understanding from Demo, a general sort of ‘huh’ noise from Scout. A pause. “Would you ever do the, er... marriage of convenience, then? No risk of it getting messy,” Demo joked.

“Nah,” Sniper said, laughing a little. “Nah. Thought about maybe trying it for citizenship at some point, but only on paper. I don’t tend to stay places too long. S’why I like this job.”

“Man, I’m kinda jealous,” Scout huffed. “It’d kick ass to not have to deal with crushes and shit.”

“Eh. Sometimes I’m curious, what it must feel like,” Sniper admitted. “Wouldn’t change it, it’s just... interesting to imagine. I like romance novels.”

“Really?” both Demo and Scout asked, sitting up and looking at him, and he huffed a laugh.

“Can’t be that hard to believe. Liked Jane Austen later on in school, kept reading more. They’re... I liked fantasy when I was young, it feels like that. Adjacent. And I know what love is, I’ve got parents I love, had pets, had relatives who were essentially siblings, it’s just something different from the sort I know about. S’pose it’s, er... just strange sometimes, nice to laugh at the characters for being so ridiculous about things.”

“Don’t tell me you pick up novels from the dimestore, Mickey,” Demo said disapprovingly. “Or those dry historical ones. Tell me it’s all good, not just the same few stories recycled.”

“Only if I’m particularly bored,” Sniper admitted, and Demo made a sound of vague disgust. “And I don’t read much, besides. Have other hobbies.”

“Is it the same thing with why you don’t talk to the rest of us guys much?” Scout cut in, speaking for the first time in a bit. “Just don’t feel it? Not a thing on your radar?”

“Nah. That’s because I’m just not the talkative type. I like you lot plenty, it’s why I go sulk in the base with you all quietly, if I didn’t like you then you’d never see me,” Sniper replied. “If anything, I think it means I appreciate you all more. Less worrying about balancing things, all that.”

“That’s fair,” Scout said, settling back down, nodding vaguely. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

A pause between the three of them. “So I don’t have any particularly interesting breakup stories,” he added. “But I’ve got farm stories, if you’d like.”

“Obviously!” Demo laughed at the same time that Scout chimed an emphatic “Fuck yeah!”, and Sniper rolled into a story about how particularly dumb sheep are as farm animals, and that was the end of that discussion.

[ibrvhims]

𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎  𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄! blue  here  (  20  ,  she  /  they  ,  est  )  and  i’m  really  excited  to  join  this  group  !  i’ve  been  dying  to  play  greta  —  this  is  actually  my  first  time  so  yes  ,  katerina is  completely  new  but  i’m  really  excited  to  develop  her  here  !  anyways  ,  all  you  need  to  know  is  below  the  cut  ,  and  if  you  like  what  you  see  just  LIKE  this  post  or  hmu  through  tumblr  ims  and  we  can  plot  !  xo

history !

this   baby   was   born   and   raised   in   london   ,   england  to   one   of   the   most   affluent   members   of   the   community   .   her   mother   ,   irina   ,   was   a   highly   regarded   socialite   ,   as   well   as   devoted   church   attendee   .   immense   pressure   is   one   of   the   first   childhood   memories   katerina   can   recall   and   she   has   her   mother   to   thank   for   that   .   on   the   other   side   of   the   spectrum   was   her   father   ,   dea   ,   who’s   a   world   renowned   restauranteur   and   owner   of   a   million   dollar   business   chain   .   katerina   always   strived   for   his   love   and   approval   and   yet   no   matter   how   hard   she   tried   to   get   his   attention   ,   all   efforts   seemed   to   fail   ,   seeing   as   he   was   too   busy   building   a   brand   .

her   childhood   pretty   much   consisted   of   forced   church   going   ,   unwanted   molding   by   her   mother   and   lack   of   affection   in   her   home   life   ,   which   only   led   to   later   permanent   damage   .   at   the   age   of   15   ,   katerina  started  hanging   with   the   wrong   crowds   purposely   ,   hoping   that   her   dad   would   show   the   least   bit   of   worry   ,   but   alas   .   she   started   drinking   regularly   and   gradually   more   excessively   ,   while   picking   up   smoking   and   minor   drug   abuse   .   old   habits   die   hard   and   she’s   still   to   this   day   very   separated   from   the   sober   life   she   used   to   lead   .

in   her   mother’s   eyes   ,   katerina   had   always   been   a   failure  and   that   is   precisely   the   reason   why   ,   no   matter   their   familial   bond   ,   katerina  always   despised   irina   ,   but   she’d   never   thought   of   harming   her   in   any   way   until   the   day   of   her   18th   birthday   ,   where   katerina   witnessed   her   mom   cheating   on   her   beloved   dad   with   one   of   their   closest   family   friends   who   had   attended   the   celebration   .   in   a   fit   of   rage   ,   she   stole   a   huge   amount   of   money   from   the   restaurant   and   framed   her   mother   ,   transferring   the   deposit   to   her   personal   bank   account   and   showing   the   evidence   to   dea   ,   who   then   proceeded   to   sue   his   wife   and   file   for   divorce   .

katerina didn’t   expect   her   mother   to   get   any   jail   time   ,   mostly   due   to   the   fact   that   she   wasn’t   used   to   dealing   with   the   consequences   of   her   actions   ,   but   turns   out   irina   served   three   years   behind   bars   ,   before   eventually   being   released   .   katerina   initially   thought   that   once   her   mother   was   out   of   the   picture   ,   perhaps   she   and   her   father   would   spend   much   more   quality   time   together   and   yet   she’d   been   proven   wrong   once   more   .   the   only   chance   she   has   to   accompany   him   is   in   the   kitchen   when   he’s   trying   out   new   recipes   ,   but   she’d   take   that   all   she   can   get   .

tho   entering   the   restaurant   business   seemed   tempting   enough   ,   she    decided   to   do   something   for   herself   just   once   and   delved    into   her   first   love   track   which   led   to   impeccable   success   ,   as   she   broke  records     ,  and   even   guest   starred   on   tv   shows    .  since   a  slight  pr   disaster   concerning   irina   ,   katerina  ultimately   made   the   decision   to   step   back   ,   and  pursue  her  education  instead  . 

trivia !

my   girl   is   very   fashionable   and   has   designer   packed   closets   ,   she   loves   glitter   and   bling   ,   so   you   bet   she’s   gonna   look   extra   af   every   single   day   .   random   facts   about   her   would   be   that   she’s   loves   all   animals   except   for   any   type   of   bird   ever   cause   she’s   scared   shitless   ,   probably   has   the   messiest   life   you’ve   ever   heard   and   yet   still   manages   to   look   fabulous   in   sharpay   voice   ,   v   much   into   baking   ,   borderline   alcoholic   but   aren’t   we   all   .

katerina   is   fairly   rude   at   first   glance   ,   and   it   doesn’t   help   that   she’s   indifferent   towards   anyone   who   isn’t   part   of   her   circle   of   friends   .   she   doesn’t   hate   ,   hate   is   such   a   strong   word   ,   she   simply   doesn’t   have   the   attention   span   for   people   that   don’t   interest   her   or   she   doesn’t   know   fully   well   to   enjoy   a   conversation   with.  

honestly   has   the   gina   linetti   energy   “   how   was   i   supposed   to   know   there’d   be   consequences   for   my   actions   ”   as   she   literally   does   anything   she   wants   before   her   brain   can   even   weigh   the   pros   and   cons   to   it.    

everyone   can   depend   on   katerina   to   have   a   good   time   ,   for   weed   ,   or   if   someone   needed   a   friend   to   vent   to   ,   she   can   surprisingly   be   all   ears   ,   but   never   follow   her   words   of   advice   .   she   does   mean   well   ,   it’s   just   that   she   doesn’t   know   what   she’s   saying   half   the   time   and   is   quite   reckless   ,   like   ask   her   to   pick   between   two   choices   and   she’ll   advice   you   to   take   the   riskier   one   bc   “   it’s   fun   don’t   be   a   prude   ”

you   can   say   that   she’s   an   enigma   ,   almost   an   intangible   concept   ,   the   kind      of   girl   that   can’t   be   tamed   ,   caught   ,   or   described   .   the   kind   you’ll   see   everywhere   but   can   never   grasp   of   why   she’s   there   .

very   good   at   lulling   people   into   a   false   sense   of   security   —   she   often   gives   off   the   feeling   that   she’s   the   one   oversharing   but   when   you   really   think   on   it   she   never   really   gives   up   any   information   about   herself   (willingly   ,   that   is   )

wanted plots  !

connection wise ??  give   me   everything   i   want   drinking   /   partying   buddies   ,  slowburns   ,   crushes  ,   fans   ,   fwbs   ,   a   girl   squad   would   be   alovely   ,   best   friends   !!!   ,   rivals   ,   toxic   friendships   ,   flirtationships   ,   frenemies   ,   e   N   E   mi   Es   ,   enemies   w   some   sexual   tension   cause   we   love   to   see   it   .   I   WANT   DRAMA   !!!

[everlastingfable]

a jumbled mess of my thoughts about voltron

This’ll probably be the messiest post you’ll ever read. I’m done trying to finish this and edit it into something coherent, so I’m just combining the 3 drafts I have written out into one massive post. I doubt anyone will read this whole thing, but each draft is a sort of rewrite of the last, so there’s a lot of overlap. But there’s also a lot of new thoughts too as I kept thinking about this. There’s also a lot of unfinished thoughts.

There’s mostly negativity in this btw. This fandom had/has an amazing ability in making you think that this show was utter garbage. on par with riv//erdale or s//pn, but it really wasn’t. Like many shows they had weak points, it was never perfect, but it’s much better than we’re told to remember it as.

Intro from Draft 3 because I liked the way I started it:

This is all of my thoughts about Voltron, the show itself and the fandom. I have tried to write this post out for over a year or two now, so it was originally intended to be my final thoughts about the show. Obviously, it’s evolved since then into whatever this is. There may be some things that I’ll be wrong about, because I’m not about to dig through hundreds of discourse posts and old interview videos to prove a point that I doubt anyone’s gonna care about. This will 100% be based on my thoughts, opinions, and experiences.

That said, I don’t even know how to begin to describe how much I love this show. I’m probably one of the few people who have no regrets about enjoying this show as much as I do. I’d wholeheartedly recommend watching it, because it’s genuinely a good show. Voltron did the unimaginable for me. I don’t usually enjoy sci-fi stories. I especially don’t enjoy mecha stories. Yet somehow, Voltron combined the two and made a show that I loved so much I can’t stop thinking about it even though it ended over 2 years ago.

Draft 1: thoughts about a year after it ended without rewatching any seasons since it ended

It’s been about a year since voltron ended. I never wrote my thoughts about s8/the show then so here it is now. Because I decided to wait a year I honestly don’t remember a lot of specifics. But I still have a lot to say about it. This is very long and is basically everything I have to say about this show. I love voltron. It’s been an important part of my life during college. 90% of all papers I wrote were about voltron. But as much as I love it, I won’t deny that it fell apart at the end. 

Note: I tried to categorize these thoughts so I don’t get off topic and can talk about everything fully. But because they overlap so much there’s definitely some minor repeats when I connect two parts but decided to hold off talking about it all the way until the right section.

PRODUCTION

This is something I’ve expressed concern over while it was airing, but in a span of 2 and a half years, they premiered 78 episodes. That’s a lot, especially when you consider that production for s3 started after s1 premiered. There’s a lot of really good voltron review videos out there that aren’t just “oh I’m so cool I hate voltron” but there was one that talked about how the production was a mess and the writers couldn’t make up their mind for the endgame ship. And while that doesn’t sound like an important issue, it really does show when it comes to how characters are written together and (I think) the fandom war. 

Summarizing what that video said because I don’t remember who made it, the writers/producers never made up their mind on which ship was supposed to be endgame (klance, sheith, allurance, kallura). And this really does show in the show itself. I don’t like klance. I especially hate it because of my experience with the fandom, but I won’t deny that they were sometimes written romantically. The same goes for sheith. And that’s the problem. 

I don’t think the world building parts of the show was fully developed either. Shiro was supposed to be a teen like everyone else but then he was an adult. His and keith’s relationship was honestly vague for a good while. I don’t think anyone really knew how each characters’ relationships with each other was supposed to progress. Was allurance always supposed to be endgame? Because they didn’t really interact that much until like season 6, and then it was kinda sudden from what I remember. There was very little, if at all, parts where we were shown oh allura might like lance romantically. Keith’s relationship with the main cast didn’t exist for like 3 seasons. It was messy. 

Speaking of which, keith disappeared for a good portion of the show. I assume it’s because steven yeun was busy. Which is fine but then I think about how quickly voltron came and went, I wonder why they couldn’t slow down a bit so they could still have steven voice keith during those episodes. Maybe it’s because of how much I love keith, but he honestly felt like a central character to me. 

If I think about teen titans, for example, this show also had 5 main characters. Sometimes certain characters would get a spotlight for a season, but all-in-all they were fairly equally represented. It didn’t feel like robin was the main character. But that’s how I feel about voltron. Keith, and shiro to an extent are the main characters. A good portion of the plot relies on them. Shiro got kidnapped, keith leads them to the blue lion. Shiro is the leader with keith has his right-hand man and they mostly interact with each other. So when shiro “dies” and keith takes over, it starts to feel like keith is now the main character. Now he’s the leader and the arc is about him growing into becoming the black paladin and stopping lotor, who is his main enemy. But then he disappears. 

Again this is most likely because of my bias towards keith, but the episodes after that felt lackluster. Lance didn’t really get his character growth to become a good second-in-command. Because that development was supposed to be based around keith. :P. A big part of lance’s growth is to learn to stop needing to feel that he’s better than keith. And him accepting keith as the black paladin was a huge part of it. But with shiro as the leader again lance loses that development. Keith’s not in the picture anymore, and the person in-charge was already in a leadership position and has nothing to learn by being there. 

Before I go way too deep into my thoughts about the plot/characterization, I do want to mention the animation. The fighting scenes are amazing and one of the most beautiful 2d animation I’ve seen. That is, when it is actually animated and not just the camera panning on a still image. Here’s where my biggest concern over the time comes in. 2 years is absolutely not enough time to animate that many episodes. I was genuinely worried for the animation company because it could not have been a good experience. And yes, we got more episodes sooner, the quality definitely dropped and it’s a real shame. Who knows when we’ll get another american cartoon in this style. I love this animation style but it takes time and a lot of skills to do, so not that many companies do it. I honestly wished they took their time with the show not just to get more time to animate, but also to flesh out some of the plot.

PLOT

As hunk said in one episode, they don’t linger on dramatic events that just happened. This show is very fast paced, and that’s not a bad thing. But they never took the time they needed to really feel the weight of everything that happens. Keith’s galra heritage reveal was basically swept under the rug. So was the shiro clone, lotor’s death, zarkon’s death, naxzela, and so many more. In general, that was a big problem with how the episodes went. If it wasn’t for the sheer number of fanfics covering those topics, they were really swept under the rug. It honestly kinda felt like the writers didn’t know what to do with the aftermath of their reveals. But some of these were pretty essential to the plot of the story. 

Keith’s part galra! So he doesn’t look it but there had to be obstacles with voltron forming the coalition. He’s part of the race that caused this war. I honestly think we should’ve seen that reveal become part of the plot, or what was the point of it? They could’ve just as easily wrote keith to be a regular human just like everyone else. Taking the time to add that part of his character needs to have some significance in the story. And yeah, they had krolia appear but she wasn’t really a significant character except to kinda magically fix keith’s problems. In general it felt like they forgot parts that they were foreshadowing with keith. Why could he turn purple sometimes? Did that quintessence he was hit with fix him or help him hide the galra parts? Why does he look so human? What is up with him having that quintessence sensitivity? I’m all for shows ending with some questions unanswered because sometimes it’s impossible to answer it all and let it feel natural, but this just felt like they forgot or decided it’s too much of a hassle and just ignored it.

Okay going into more specifics now, s8 was kinda meh. It especially felt bad because it came out the same day as spiderverse which had a very similar villain motivation, but objectively done better. I think honerva’s motivation came out of nowhere. We see in the flashback episode that she was so intent on getting knowledge that it literally destroyed daibazaal. So, it was established that her motivation is knowledge. Even though she lost her memory and regained it, as haggar she was still very focused on quintessence. We know she was gathering a lot of it, and maybe they said it and I forgot, but we never knew why. Family wasn’t really shown as a motivation for her. Even with lotor it didn’t seem like she wanted to be a family again, but instead was using him for her own unknown motivations. Anyways, the season felt awkward. And the new dynamic they had really needed more time. The last season should’ve expanded to be at least 2 more. It would’ve fit a lot better imo. S1-2 would have zarkon as the main villain, s3-6 would have lotor, and s7-8 would have haggar, who was also the puppeteer throughout the entire show. But she didn’t appear for s7 and her motivations didn’t really make sense in s8 so it evidently felt rushed. There were also so many major characters in s8 we needed more time to see them interact. 

So the ending with allura becoming constellations. Gonna be honest that whole last part had me confused. Especially with the fact that I barely remember what happened, why are the old paladins like trapped in the lions? I could excuse the other 4 but zarkon? Especially a zarkon that’s not corrupted? It was weird and didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and that’s all I’ll say about that. I don’t even want to try to suggest an alternative because I think that whole last half of the season is so messy it can’t be fixed. But it was so obviously pandering to the fandom it hurt. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted lance to be altean in response to keith’s galra heritage. The shiro/curtis kiss was very “look see he is gay and not just because we said so” while nice, was very weak (why wasn’t keith in the shot?).

Despite my complaints, I remember liking s8. I really liked the addition of the atlas, even though it didn’t feel like we were watching voltron anymore sometimes. S7 had to be one of my favorite episodes since s2. Not to say that s7 is better or worse, but I really like it because it felt like a genre shift. I usually don’t like space sci-fi or mecha stories. Voltron somehow managed to combine the two and make me love it. S7 did not feel like either of those. First, a good half of it took place on earth. And I believe two episodes didn’t even have the main cast, and when team voltron finally made it to earth, voltron wasn’t even there until the final battle. I genuinely loved it. I think it was a very well done invasion/apocalyptic story that doesn’t get told in animation that often. But if I think about s7 with the rest of the show, it was awful. It broke up the tone the show usually had and it was a very different way of storytelling that voltron didn’t have before. It wasn’t a space sci-fi mecha story, it was an apocalyptic action story. Voltron was so unimportant they sat on a moon for episodes. It stopped becoming voltron and started becoming a spin-off. 

I do have to add that I absolutely loved the color themes in s7. We already had purple for the galra, but in s7 it was very obvious that alteans are themed blue and earth is themed with orange. I loved it so much and it was great. I do like that they gave shiro something to do. Honestly not killing him off in s2 made him an awkward character afterwards. But I didn’t like that they brought back sendak. There was no explanation for it and it wasn’t good imo. He didn’t really do anything besides conquer earth then die. Haggar was also absent the entire season which definitely didn’t help her storyline in s8 because we didn’t know what she was doing the entire time except abandoning everyone who was loyal to her. 

I’m usually not a fan of time skips, it has the tendency to gloss over character development or create glossed over recap. Honestly I wish voltron spent more time over the blade of marmora massacre or just the bom in general. They received no rest. Literally everyone part of that group died except for kolivan. Speaking of that episode, there was no explanation for how keith was able to know where macidus was about to appear and that honestly bugs me. There’s so much about keith we don’t know. He has so many abilities we were just never told. 

Again a lot of problems within team voltron is that there was never any follow up on things that happened, like keith leaving the team. He becomes the black paladin and no one bats an eye. Lance did make one comment about keith leaving but then it wasn’t ever mentioned again. I get that the writers/producers wanted the dynamic the original had, but they didn’t take the time to work up to it. Keith wasn’t a natural leader, but he suddenly is because he spent 2 years on a space whale with his mom and a space wolf. Like I mentioned earlier, voltron feels like keith is the main character but then they dropped him for a few episodes, realized that he’s important and added him back in while saying “oh he went through a time skip so he grew into the role he needs to be in now”. It feels like a cheap pay off.

I’d like to specifically talk about my thoughts on each season and work back but honestly I don’t think I can remember s3-6 separately. So they’re being chunked together. 

Lotor had the potential to be a really great villain. But he had to be foiled with keith. They have a lot of similarities that I think could’ve really played off well together. Lotor isn’t really allowed to have a leadership position. Yeah he was technically in charge while zarkon was recovering, but haggar didn’t really allow him full control. But, he was a great leader. He knew how to read his enemies and form an alliance. Meanwhile, keith had a leadership position thrusted to him, and frankly he wasn’t a good leader. He tends to keep to himself so he never really has to make decisions with a team. It could’ve been great, but shiro had to still be in the story. I’m honestly conflicted about this because on the one hand, I think it really ruined character developments for the main cast, but then I loved the clone shiro plot line. I think keeping shiro prevented keith from growing. He was able to remain dependent on shiro instead of actually bonding with the rest of the paladins. And of course he had to just go awol. Also, lance didn’t really get to have as prominent of a role as I think he could’ve had with keith. 

These seasons are also when the lions stopped being sentient robots that specifically choose their paladins to just really cool spaceships. We don’t get that level of bonding that was so prominent in s1 and 2. That’s also something I’m conflicted with. I think the lion swap was a great way for character developments, but it also removed a lot of it. It kinda made the bonding feel useless. The swap also changed the dynamic of the group. Instead of shiro and allura being co-leaders, and everyone else feeling like they’re on equal footing, it felt like Keith was the leader with lance being a needed right-hand man. Hunk and pidge were off doing their thing and allura was a leader but also not. Maybe if they had spent more time working with this dynamic it would’ve felt better. But they didn’t and it didn’t. Voltron also implied that allura was the only one that could control the castle ship, but then she goes to become a paladin and who’s driving the ship?

I do wish we could’ve gotten more about the altean colony and the reveal about lotor’s plans, but that got overshadowed and forgotten by the clone shiro reveal. Maybe I just missed it, but I wasn’t sure what the galra empire and lotor were collecting quintessence for. Was it just to make mechs to rival voltron? Lotor’s death was also very unclear. 

The coalition was a much needed thing, but I think very badly executed. They were gathering people from malls. These people are regular civilians who probably don’t know how to fight or fly a ship. I thought it was really weird that they were just getting regular people (aliens?) to sign up like they’re applying to be part of the army. But we never see them maybe join the rebel force matt is part of to learn how exactly to help. I think about avatar and how they also had a rag tag group of people to fight against the fire nation, but these weren’t just regular people living in a village. They were either warriors or very skilled benders. The voltron coalition was just regular people. That genuinely annoyed me because the voltron show just felt like those army propaganda ads, but exciting. Not to mention it was a very hard to watch episode. 

It was definitely making fun of how the fandom complains about how characters are getting reduced to a certain characteristic. But it wasn’t done in an entertaining way like the ember island players episode from atla because some of those were legit complaints (like hunk being the fat/food guy) and that stuff wasn’t resolved. Like the ember island players made fun of sokka constantly talking about meat or katara crying all the time, but the show made it very clear beforehand that these characters are much more than that. Is hunk really more than the food guy? As far as the show mentions, the only things he’s done was make the machine to help find the blue lion, and help save the balmera. All of which was in season 1. After that hunk honestly took the backseat in voltron.

I mentioned earlier, but the time skip on the space whale felt like we were cheated out of keith’s character development. I mean we got development, but we didn’t get to see it. The vlog short showed that keith believes a lot of his problems stems from not having a mom (and a dad) in his life. But instead of seeing keith learning to trust and open up to people despite having so many people in his life leaving him, we get a cute montage of him with his mom. As if it makes sense that two years with his mom would fix everything. (side note, I know a lot of people were saying how obvious it was that krolia was keith’s mom, I genuinely did not know until she said so at the end of that episode).

I’m not gonna talk about my thoughts on s1 and 2 because I’m pretty sure I live blogged those and honestly I don’t think I remember it. 

CHARACTERS

Now I’m finally talking about the characters and I’m starting off with keith as if I haven’t talked about him enough already. I love keith. He’s undeniably one of my (if not the) favorite characters ever. And he’s obviously a fandom favorite if we’re considering the two biggest ships in the fandom. Or maybe he really is just the secret main character of voltron. We know so much about him, for someone who loves keith, it’s great. We basically know his entire backstory, and yet we know no one else’s (except maybe lotor but even that’s iffy).

I never rewatched a single voltron episode since it ended, and I can’t watch any of the connected shows (meaning shows that have the same ppl that worked on it or the same fans, think dragon prince and she-ra) because the fandom was the absolute worst one I’ve ever been in and parts legit trigger me. I am fascinated with fandoms. I love it. I chose my major because it was the closest I could get to just learning about them 24/7. But the voltron fandom was so incredibly toxic and over two ships? Honestly the fandom itself was a major reason why I couldn’t get super invested in the later seasons. I get afraid when it seems like a certain ship might happen. I actually hoped that certain characters just didn’t interact. (I’m not gonna get much deeper in this because I don’t want to touch this topic with a ten-foot pole, at least not now) Aside from that, I think that the plot and characterizations for voltron got really messy post s2. The lion switch was never handled well imo, and post switch the lions lost that sentient personality that was established in the first two seasons. It also didn’t make sense aside from the writers wanted everyone in the original lions. Or at least, we never got the proper character developments into those roles. Keith left right after becoming the black paladin. 

I think another major problem with the show is how some decisions felt like pandering. I remember hearing that they didn’t kill off shiro because he was a fan favorite, so he had to stay for marketing and to make more money. But then keeping shiro alive would’ve derailed the original plot idea. I wish I could see how the story would’ve played out with shiro staying dead.

Draft 2: rewatched the show then started writing this

So I wrote a draft of this like a year ago, realized I don’t remember the show much, so I rewatched the whole show and started rewriting my thoughts.

Pre-rewatch thoughts: It was a good show that was poorly executed

Mid-rewatch thoughts: it’s a really good show that just has some weak points (the second half of lotor’s arc, team voltron’s importance in season 4-6 it feels like a lot of filler episodes until keith shows up again)

End-rewatch thoughts: it's actually a really good show. It has some weak points and some really strong points. Season 8 was confusing though. I went through most of it going yeah okay I guess that can happen.

Final verdict: it's a genuinely good show

What went wrong

It ended on its weakest season, which was also the most abstract and different season. While the main antagonist changed throughout the seasons, it still continued to be the galra empire. Even when lotor joined, the team was still fighting fractions of the galra empire. Meanwhile, season 8 didn’t have any conflict with the galra. The antagonists were honerva and the alteans, who are very different types of villains compared to the galra. There was also little build up to that change. Sure, we got to experience that briefly in season 3 when they went to the alternate reality, but I don’t think that was built up well. Also, the protagonists and the audience are just not prepared. We don’t know how the alteans work like the extent of their abilities, but we were given dozens of episodes to learn about the galra. As a result season 8 just wound up with me feeling confused and thinking “uhh sure I guess they can do that, that makes sense maybe?”

It could not pick who its protagonist is. Yeah the five humans plus allura (and coran?) are the main characters but most shows with multiple major characters still focus one one character as the protagonist. Like atla has aang, adventure time has finn, umbrella academy has five. Voltron just never picks someone and the group constantly changes too, so you end up having to not focus on any character for the sake of time. Of course not all shows do that. Teen Titans had each season focus on a particular member of the team, and tbh I was wondering if that was what they were planning for the show, especially when season 2 was so Keith focused but guess not.

It feels like they did not have the time to fully flesh out the story. Voltron came and went so incredibly fast. They had 8 seasons (technically 6 if you group up the halved seasons). But also the show only lasted 2 years. It honestly horrifies me to think of the time crunch everyone on the team was going through, especially the animators. You can see the drop in quality as there were very few scenes that involved actual animation for the middle bulk of the show. So then, how much time did they have to develop the story, in addition to execs telling them what they can and can’t do. There’s so many arcs that seemed to start then get forgotten, and I don’t blame the writers for that at all. Although I wish we could’ve learned more about Lance and the Altean sword and Keith with his apparent quintessence sensitivity, they probably just didn’t have the time to plot those out.

It had too much outside influence. Such as, the writers wanting to kill off shiro, but then being forced to keep him on the show because the execs said to. And honestly, the fandom. For example, the whole last episode with Lance getting the Altean marks (an obvious omage to ppl wanting Altean Lance).

What went right

There’s a reason why the show became so popular (aside from being a reboot of a popular 80′s show) and it’s because of the characters. I’m not about the whole “we become attached to characters because the writers did them wrong but we fans can see the potential and that’s why fan works are better” bs that I see going around this site all the time. The first season particularly wrote these characters so well. They’re relatable but also intriguing enough for you to care about what’s going to happen to them. 

Some thoughts regarding popular fandom discussions:

It’s a plot-driven show with character-focused fans

I like to think of there being two ways to tell a story: by being character-focused or plot-driven. Plot driven shows are ones like atla, young justice, legend of korra, etc. There’s a conflict that gets introduced and the story revolves around that conflict. Character-focused shows are ones like adventure time or we bare bears, they’re less concerned about a plot line and focus more on the characters interacting with their world. Of course all stories incorporate both parts, just some focus more on one than the other. So, here’s where I think a lot of the issues about voltron and the fandom comes from. Voltron is a very obviously plot-driven show but the fandom is very character-focused. I won’t deny I loved the episodes about keith. Season 4 and 5 were hard for me to watch because I missed my boy. But that’s where the arguments come from. People get upset that their fav isn’t in the spotlight

It didn’t queerbait

I understand watching a show for representation, I really do, but voltron is not that show and that's okay. Not every show has to be revolutionary in its representation of marginalized people. I won't pretend to know the harmful tropes for marginalized people. My consumption of media is not usually diverse. But I will stand by my stance that a large part of voltron's later seasons is about the casualties of war. So of course a lot of people died. I also firmly believe that the producers had a much easier time adding diversity to their own created characters than the main voltron characters, because of rights and all that complicated nonsense. So as a result the ones who were more expendable and could die were also the same characters that they could add diversity too.

I’m gonna add the definition of queerbait here so we’re all on the same page:  Queerbait is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation.

But here’s the thing. We were told at comic-con or one of those cons that Shiro is gay, and he had a boyfriend. They actually gave us that. Yeah it wasn’t as explicit as She-ra got, but that’s another point for later. There was no lying about it. Shiro is canonically gay, and his boyfriend was Adam. If anything, this whole thing came out of wanting Keith in a relationship with Shiro or Lance. Yes. I will admit, there are plenty of scenes between Keith and Lance, and Keith and Shiro that can be read as romantic. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but did any of the cast members tease the possibility of Kl//ance or Sh//eith (VAs don’t count, sorry but they don’t really have a say in the story)? Because unless they did, and they did repeatedly, the fandom queerbaited themselves. So many people in the fandom were so certain that Keith would be in a relationship with one of them, there was basically an all out war. Even if there was a chance, did you really think the creators (who were pretty active in early fandom days) would continue that development? It was so so toxic they were forced to shut off any possibilities of that.

In regards to minority characters

Again, I'll admit vld is not the place to go for real, proper representation. Their characters tend to be characters that happen to be a part of a minority rather than a minority character. wtf does that mean? Well, you can swap (earth) races for just about any character and it wouldn't make too much of a difference in how they act. There's some lines that wouldn't work like Lance's "I'm just a boy from Cuba" but other than that there would be no significant change. Of course this goes down to preference. Would you want a minority character whose struggles reflect those in real life and as a result be defined by that aspect of themselves, or do you want a character that just happens to be a part of a minority group but whose life is not really affected by that? 

Draft 3: months after the rewatch, mostly an attempt to reorganize the previous two drafts

I’m gonna start with the negatives just to get the ranting off my chest. Season 8 was bad. Yeah. No argument there. Although I wouldn’t say it was bad in the same way Game of Thrones and Supernatural was bad. Rather, it was an interesting and complex premise that didn’t have the build up it needed and honestly needed a few more passthroughs to iron out some parts. At worse, I felt it was confusing to the point where I just accepted whatever new worldbuilding thing they threw at me. The issue with Season 8 vs Seasons 1-7 is that Season 8 had a completely different villain, and a brand new cast dynamic. We got 7 seasons (65 episodes) developing the Galra as the villain. We got to learn who they are, their motives, how they operate, etc. Not only that, but they were pretty basic and easy to understand villains. They’re conquerors. They don’t have any sort of magic, they really just use brute force to attack and enslave the planets. In striking contrast, the Alteans in Season 8 weren’t conquerors. They didn’t care about controlling the universe. They also had magic abilities that our main characters don’t understand and didn’t explore. Season 8 had villains who could create illusions, mind control, and manipulate quintessence. The Alteans are leagues beyond the Galra in terms of complexities as an antagonist, but they didn’t get nearly enough time to be fully developed.

Also, Season 8 essentially doubled the cast size. So despite the fact that we have yet to see much of Keith-as-the-black-paladin Voltron group dynamic, now that screentime is being balanced with the MFE pilots and other Garrison characters. Essentially, there were too many characters, and too little time to flesh out the ideas of this season. A side note, Haggar’s (Honerva?) motivations were lame. I think it would’ve been much more interesting if her plans were just to continue the research she did 10,000 years ago with the rift. That would’ve also brought back the rift monsters which we never got an answer for. What even are they? Instead, her goal to have a family again is really weak. Even in the flashbacks she never showed any care for the more familial aspects of her life. It didn’t make sense for that to be her drive. It also didn’t help that Season 8 came out on like the same day as Spiderverse and the antagonists for both had the same goal, but Spiderverse did an immensely better job.

Another thing that didn’t make sense to me was Keith giving the speech to the rest of the Galra. He is not the right character to give that speech. Sure he’s Galra, but he didn’t even know for most of his life. For him to say “we” like he’s also a citizen of the Galra empire feels so weird. He never grew up with the Empire’s influence, and we never saw him experiencing Galra culture with the Blade. He learned about the Galra as an outsider, and despite the fact that he’s part Galra (he doesn’t even remotely look Galra), I don’t think that gives him the authority to say a speech like that. The speech is similar to Zuko’s at the end of ATLA, and that makes me feel like it would’ve been a lot better had Lotor said it. I think even Kolivan would’ve been a better fit than Keith. 

The more I’m writing about Season 8, the more I’m remembering just how messy and confusing it was. Additionally, the last bit of Season 8 was so obviously pandering to the fandom it gives me second-hand embarrassment. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted Lance to be Altean in response to Keith's galra heritage. The Shiro getting married was just to make it more obvious that he’s gay, but had no build up. (There were definitely more but I didn’t write myself a list and I’m not rewatching that season)

Second, “Voltron queerbaited”. [this was posted before here]

Speaking of which, Voltron premiered summer of 2016 and ended in winter of 2018. That’s about 2 and a half years where they aired 78 episodes. That’s stupid fast, especially for an animated series. I’m constantly worried about what the people working on that show had to endure. For sure, Season 3 with Shiro coming back wasn’t written until at least Season 1. I recalled the execs demanding that Shiro not be dead since he was a popular character. It’s honestly concerning how little time they had to work on the show, and it unfortunately showed. In the later seasons, a lot of the shots were just still frames that moved across the scene. And the plot line with Lotor could’ve used some work. Although, I think Shiro being forced in there was also a reason for it being so shaky.

I honestly hate Seasons 4 & 5. I cannot tell you what happened because my brain keeps erasing it. Obviously, the lack of Keith had a huge impact on my opinion of those seasons, but it also felt like a whole lot of filler episodes, and not the fun ones with character development. With Keith mostly out of the picture, and Lance becoming the right hand of Voltron, that should’ve been a great time to develop Lance to become a second-in-command. To have him go through an arc where he overcomes his insecurities. It would’ve also been an amazing time to develop his and Shiro’s relationship. But we didn’t get any of that. 

I genuinely believe Keith was supposed to stay the black paladin and Shiro wasn’t supposed to come back. Keith would be an amazing foil to Lotor. They’re both half-Galra. They’ve both been given a new leadership role that they don’t want. The middle arc always felt so weak to me, and as I mentioned earlier, the Allura/Lotor interactions were awkward. It feels shoehorned in because someone has to interact with Lotor and I guess the writers decided Allura was the best option?

Season 3-6 felt like the epitome of what happens when showrunners are forced to do whatever the execs say and have no time to properly develop their story. I’ll forever be bitter at all the character and relationship development we lost because of that. We never got to see Keith really learn to open up to the team and start to trust others. But Keith still had to get to that point, which is why I assume they had the time jump for him. It’s so disappointing because we lost what could’ve been a great character development. It also made Keith being the Black Paladin again feel cheap. We didn’t get to see the struggle he had to be the leader Shiro saw he could be. He was just suddenly leading them and they worked like a proper team.

Voltron also had a lot of plot holes. Now, I don’t expect shows to answer every question, because it’s impossible to tie everything up and leave no questions unanswered in a natural way. But, there’s a lot of things that felt like the beginning of a plot line or honestly needed some answers. Like, Lance shifting his bayard to a sword. What was the point of that if it was never mentioned again? It felt like that was an important start to an arc for him that just got forgotten. Also, what was up with Keith’s quintessence sensitivity? How was he able to sense where that druid was. How did he know he could summon his bayard to him. I think the part that bugged me the most was that Keith was the only one who did that. Also, Keith’s eyes becoming slitted during his fight with Kuron was never addressed, and I really wish it was. It felt like such a throwaway moment that could’ve been interesting to explore more. Although I’m not too upset with that one as I think we were given enough to piece together a reason for it. 

[phytolacca-a]

A writeup on my most recent try on ABAXACATABAX charms:

I’m reuploading this with additions. I DO NOT intend this to be a How To post. I’m just wanting to share what I did as well as possible expansions since it’s a pertinent time.

Intended Use: Driving out (and protecting from) all sickness and illness for my immediate family members and I. Particularly to help fight against the virus going around. I feel that this charm can be very versatile in application, so I decided to test how it’d work for this situation.

(From Folk Witchcraft, Roger Horne)

Result Findings/Thoughts, My Procedure, Etc.:

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TLDR, Current Results/Thoughts: 

- 3/18/20: So far the only thing I’ve been told is that last Monday night (the night after I gave the charms to the 3), they each separately noticed they slept much better than usual and the two who wake up super early slept in a longer (healthy) amount. They each noticed this unrelated to each other, and I never mentioned anything about sleeping to them or even when thinking about the effects. My hopeful guess is this: the good-sleeping effect, presumably by the charm, is related to how getting better and restful sleep is associated with strengthening the immune system and helps get rid of sickness. I will see how it goes going forward.

- Edit, 3/21/20: I feel as though the biggest tests of these charms will be in the next week or two. Will be looking out for any hard notice of it working.

- Edit #2, 3/21/20: I believe I’ve noticed the method of which these charms might work through. I made these, or at least started, in the hour of the Sun on a Sunday. It’s occurred to me that the “drive out sickness” aspect is possibly more... prevalent, violent than expected. But although there have been correlations of sickness bubbling up and either dissipating or exiting the body while wearing the charm, that’s all I can say currently- there’s correlations. But I do believe that a main aspect of this charm is turning out to actually physically drive out whatever sickness from the wearer, at least in some capacity.  So far, here’s what the others have said: My grandmother has said that she believes it seems to be working as intended, as she’s said “Well I think it must be working as I could have been a lot worse off” (in talking about something that happened, related to my correlation of it possibly helping literally drive out sickness.) My stepfather has told me that he’s felt that the charm has been protecting him from getting sick since wearing it, as he travels most of the week and has not gotten ill from the heightened human contact. But like I said, the true tests I think are in the next coming weeks. Will be on the lookout.

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Prep:

I did this last Sunday, starting in the hour of the Sun although I didn’t end up finishing within the hour. I gave offerings to the Sun in asking for aid in my magic working. I had Elderberries and Bay Leaves, paper, pen & pencil, felt and thread. I can’t find the pestle to my mortar so I tried using a blunt end of something in a bowl. Spoilers: trying to crush the Elderberries like that did not work very well at all. I also took inspiration in preparation from Gemma Gary’s Traditional Witchcraft for charmmaking.

Working:

I began by trying to cast a circle.

I cut out 4 3x3in pieces of paper. I then began writing the ABAXACATABAX charm out in pencil. On the other side, I wrote down what the charm is to do which is something I neglected to last time I tried this. I then drew the symbol of the Sun above the will.

This is when I began empowering the attributes. I poured dried Elderberries into a bowl and began trying to pound and crush them into a powder. While I did this, I closed my eyes and continuously repeated what I wanted it to do loud as I pounded the berries. This went on for a long time, probably a longer time than I realized.

Even though this crushing didn’t actually work (most of them were mostly whole…) I felt like I managed to do what I was going for anyways even if I didn’t get powder out of it.

After this I began to go over the penciled words in ink, to finalize what I wrote. Because I was just tracing, I was able to start chanting again forcefully. And again I slipped into that sort of state where I could just repeat it without thinking about it. Whenever I became aware of myself saying the words, I would switch up the phrasing and slip back in until I became aware again.

After this, I put some Elderberries in the center of the paper and folded it like how Gemma Gary’s book described. Four corners in, fold, fold, then making the cloth holders for the charm. Before/while I did that though, I put the folded papers on a tray, circled them in Elderberries and sat a candle right in the middle of them to hopefully empower them more. I used what I had to make portable holders for the charms, which was red felt and white thread. I tried to empower a bay leaf as I took it into four pieces to place inside the little pouches as I was almost done stitching the sides. I grabbed a pinchful of Elderberry not-powder and put some in. I then picked up each charm paper and placed them in, ending off with a little bit more Elderberry and stitched it up.

I made little loops in the felt to place cord through to wear.

After they were all sealed up, I lit another candle (the only one I had at the time was a little red one) in wanting them to soak in extra continuous juice. I lit some incense. I passed each charm into and through the smoke from underneath it to seal them. I then left the charms around the second candle for the rest of the night; I kept reading Gemma Gary mention leaving spells and charms to “cook” so I figured I’d try even though I don’t have a proper working altar or anything yet.

Possible Issues:

Other than the fact I said that making these charms might have been the messiest spellworking I’ve done yet, there’s one large thing. The good news, is this is only for me and shouldn’t effect the other charms. When I was folding the first charm paper, one of the Elderberries I had in there popped out and ripped the paper. I made sure not to let that happen to the others, and made sure to give myself the possibly faulty charm as I’m in the least danger. This might render my specific charm bunk. Or at least, maybe not as strong as it should be or would be. But I’m not entirely sure this even negatively affected it at all; which would be cool if it didn’t! If I find out it did, I’ll just end up redoing mine.

The other issue was the timeframe. This goes into the messiness, but I took SO much longer than I thought I would making these. I started at the start of the Sun’s hour, and ended sometime in Mercury’s hour. I don’t know yet how exactly this affected my working, if at all?

I’ve yet to do divination on this working.

Things I’d Like to Consider for Changes/Additions:

I think that there’s worth in a change in planetary approach; I’ve been discussing a little bit of this with someone who utilized Mercury rather than the Sun for the charm which seems to have turned out less seemingly violent in approach and rather more preservative-protective. So, something I think I will consider more are other combos rather than just utilizing the Sun, possibly adjusting for the context of the situation of use. I’d still like to feed the charms semi regularly to continue the usage, so I might utilize the different combos of planets in the way I refuel/feed? Not sure, but I’ll be considering it. 

But yeah. I’m hopeful for these charms and I’ll be continuing to monitor them as time goes on!!

[the-resurrection-3d]

so what was ever good about acotar anyway?

For some reason, I’ve been very tempted to reread ACOTAR lately, and so I’m going to just make a quick list of what I remember specifically endearing the book to me back when I first read it in 2016 so we can compare notes later. This will, however, also include some retroactive criticisms now that we’re four years on from ACOWAR ruining everything forever. 

Twigger warnings for discussions of abuse, csa and neglect, as well as me using my complimentary R Slur Pass.

For some context: 

>Be 18yr me in 2016. 

>Be in your first semester at college. 

>Be so fed up with YA romance that you avoid books just for hinting at them in the summary. 

>Be also brainstorming a series with your roommate called The Cuckmaster Saga. 

This is probably going to sound embarrassing, but I’m being completely sincere when I say that part of why this book excited me was simply the novelty of finding a YA romance book that I liked. 

I’d fallen out hard with YA in general by this point in my life, partially because of a string of fairy tale “retellings” that clearly gave zero fucks about the source material beyond using the iconography in its marketing. Folklore had been my special interest for a while, and my excitement for the series and all its little extra niche references coincided with finally getting to study folklore in a true academic setting.

Which leads me to point one:

I love the idea of combining BatB and the Tam Lin ballad. I know some people have complained about this, but honestly, I enjoyed finding a retelling that mimicked the mix-and-match structuring of a lot of folktales. ACOTAR isn’t even the messiest or least coherent mash-up by a huge margin. Unfortunately, this aspect of the series severely lessened as it went along — remember when we all thought ACOWAR was going to be a Snow White retelling and then there was just one scene with poisoned apples? Lmao.

[If anyone wants an author who does YA mash-ups that are actually YA, I’d recommend Rosamund Hodge, whose books are always interesting in their sheer weirdness even when the story itself slightly falters. I mean, I wrote a whole 20-page thesis on her Red Riding Hood/Maiden Without Hands retelling and still didn’t cover everything I had thoughts on. (Tragically, however, I must inform you all that she is a Catholic Reylo. Rest in pepperoni.)]

It is fucking hilarious in retrospect that SJM clearly knows a bunch of different folktales and folkloric creatures but thinks it’s believable for shadowsinger powers to have no theorized origin “even [in] the rich lore of the warrior-people” (ACOFAS 65). Bro fuck outta here. 

But this leads into point two — Feyre and her family. It’s very obvious that SJM based Nesta and Elain’s dynamic with Feyre off the common folktale trope of having the youngest sibling be the only competent person in the room (and Katniss Everdeen). I thought it was honestly a lot of fun to see this trope done with some interiority; you can practically hear Feyre seethe about what useless hoes her sisters are between every line. I genuinely giggled through these parts on my initial readthrough. 

I’ve seen some people complain that Nesta and Elain’s behaviors aren’t realistic in this situation, but au contraire! Nesta and Elain’s actions in book one are (...almost) perfectly realistic. Without revealing too much, my grandmother grew up in poverty with a few older sisters, and yet my great-grandmother would make her do all the work and constantly force her to give up her possessions (like her car) to the older sisters whenever they wanted them. Even to this day, when they’re all in their 70s and 80s, one of these sisters still relies on my grandma to do basic shit like balancing her checkbooks. I’ve also observed similar dynamics play out plenty of times between an adult child and an overindulgent parent, with people literally ruining their lives and bodies all for the sake of sitting at home all day buying furry porn off the internet. 

Nesta and Elain are basically the psychology of this type of person split in two — Elain the soft, delicate, perpetually victimized front they put on for the world, and Nesta the ice-cold, bitter, and aggressive bitch they truly are. 

Honestly, the only thing I would change about this set-up is either keep Ma Archeron alive or give Papa Archeron more personality than a plank of damp wood. What’s truly missing here is a parental figure enforcing this fucked up dynamic — I don’t remember it being clear that Feyre’s always had this role, just that she took it on after her mom’s death. Making it clear that Feyre’s always been forced to be this way — alongside giving the mom more characterization — would have gone a long way towards making this dynamic feel more realized and less like the narrative using trauma and pity as a shortcut towards reader engagement. 

Then again, that would require SJM to have a female villain in this series who isn’t a rapist, and quotes I’ve seen floating around from ACOSF make it pretty clear SJM doesn’t know same-gender sexual abuse even exists. 

Anyway. 

Point Three (or rather 2B): Feyre realizing she doesn’t have to hang around her family just because she feels obligated to love them was a fucking banger. I loved it so much; having a story, especially a YA story, that showed you aren’t obligated to love a family that treats you like shit was so special to me. Especially since I was also leaving my family for the first time, and going home to visit them every other weekend felt like being hit point-blank with a Psyduck blast. 

Thankfully, my relationship with my family has gotten a lot better, but I’m still really disappointed that Nesta and Elain were forced back into the story, rather than them reaching out to Feyre and making amends because they wanted to do better.  The closest we got to this was the revelation that Nesta almost made it to the Border by herself after Feyre was taken, which was definitely badass, but also unfortunately the only Nesta scene I’ve liked in this entire fucking series. If SJM was going to force Feyre to regress into being Nesta and Elain’s tardwrangler again, then she should have followed up on Amren’s line in ACOWAR that Feyre treats Nesta and Elain the way Tamlin treated her. 

“I asked them to help once—and look what happened. I won’t risk them again.”

Amren snorted. “You sound exactly like Tamlin.”

[. . .] and I said, “She’s right.”  (169-170). 

But I’m sure everyone who’s read ACOSF knows how well that’s going. 

Point Four: the femindhjdfhfdh I can’t even write that with a straight face. I mean let’s be real, I too enjoy seeing female characters I like become queens and all that other stuff, but it was clear to me even on my initial reading of ACOMAF that it was all shallow and designed to help delineate good guys from bad guys without much in the way of nuance. It certainly took me out of the experience a little, but at least it ties into the books’ themes of recovering from abuse and shacking up with a Certified Women Respecter. 

My actual point four: Truthfully I only bought this series for the meme of having the first shitty love interest getting cucked in the second book. ACOWAR gave me some complicated feelings on Tamlin, and I honestly think he should have just stopped appearing in the series after that — BUT, having him be dragged back in once per book just to call him a cuck and cockslap him around a little bit is fucking hilarious. Pointless! But hilarious.

I also think that this kind of arc is a great critique of the standard “happily ever after,” acknowledging that in real life, you’re much more likely to just pass from one abusive household to another because you don’t know what healthy love, communication, and boundaries are. (Arguably many folktales are the fantasies of women who are well aware of this reality but want to imagine a world that’s otherwise). I definitely have a lot of problems with SJM’s claims of “sex positivity,” but acknowledging that Feylin used sex as a means of avoiding communication was another great touch.

I wish that this whole King of Hybern shit was completely cut just to focus on these themes more; it’s very clear SJM only included it because fantasy series = BIG EPIC WORLD-ENDING STAKES!! I've read maybe ten pages of Throne of Glass, so I can't speak for how she handles epic fantasy there, but I know for me and a lot of other stans, the Hybern plot had licherally nothing to do with what we liked and connected to in these books. 

But I must soften here, because I totally empathize with feeling like big stakes are “necessary” for a fantasy story and that no one would want to read your books without them. YA fantasy is the reason why TV Tropes coined the term “romantic plot tumor,” after all. (Source: I’m making shit up.) 

What else… what else… uhhhhh. I think that might be it, at least for substantial things I don’t have to qualify too much. I of course have plenty of little things I used to like but have now been tainted because ACOWAR ruined everything forever and ACOFAS danced on the graves (such as how I liked Lucien but everyone in the books shits on him now to the point it’s stopped being funny). But this post is too long anyway.

[thedreadvampy]

Like idk what you want from me here. If you want to engage me in a specific question about ace/aro identities, as I've said several times and nobody has ever actually done, then ask me the specific question. Don't fuck around with vague gestures at Points of Discourse and then get cross with me because I haven't answered the Exact Question you Didn't Ask But Expected Me To Intuit.

Preface: If you don't want to answer any of these because you are allo/allo and don't have a say because its not your place, say that. In fact, I'm asking these because you seem to do have opinions on things you shouldn't based off things you have said in the past.

I also want to state that I agree fully with your points about Martin- minus the blatant aphobia. Not just acephobia, arophobia as well.

1. Do you think qprs are problematic? I believe you once made a post saying roughly that qprs are just normal friendships, or something like that, that has since been deleted. What is your current opinion?

2. Are het aros lgbt?

3. Are het aces lgbt?

4. Cis aro/aces lgbt?

5. Cishet aro/aces?

6. Do the spectrums and micro identities exist? You've implied in the past they don't, in the post about how they were supposedly created from sex positivity

7. Can aros be in or desire romantic relationships?

8. Can aces have or desire sex?

9. Does the split attraction model exist and does it benefit people?

10. Can teenagers identify as aro/ace or do you think they're too young?

11. Can you be, say, an aroace lesbian, or an aroace gay, aroace bi, etc. Idk how to phrase this one but like can you be aroace and still id with another orientation?

I could send another anon detailing the aphobia in the post, because I at least am certainly not upset about Martin being sexual, rather it was the very blatant aphobia. It could have stemmed from ignorance, and if that's the case I don't mind explaining it.

Ok this is a lot of questions, some with quite involved answers, so I'm gonna answer them chunk by chunk so it's a bit more manageable, and then I might come back to some of the surrounding message. This isn't gonna be an immediate bang bang bang, but I'll try and work through them over the next couple of days.

Question 1

1. No, I don't think qprs are problematic. I don't necessarily understand them but I don't need to understand them to understand and respect that they're a thing that's important to a lot of people. I don't know what post you're referring to, but I'm surprised that you say it was deleted, because I very rarely delete posts except, occasionally, reblogs where people have flagged up misinformation or dogwhistles or which I reblogged by accident. tbh I'm the messiest online presence I'm way too lazy to delete past posts or block people even when I probably should bc I don't like to feel like I'm ~hiding evidence~. So I'm not saying you're wrong, you're probably totally right, but I'm surprised.

I'm thinking about what posts I've made that you could be thinking of, and obviously I don't remember everything I say on here bc I say A Lot and I actively post to get things out of my head so 🤷‍♀️ but I do remember making a post a while ago where I said that it was a normal expectation of friendship to have some friends close enough that you'll live with them, raise kids with them, etc, and I'm wondering if that was the post you're thinking of? I did have qprs in mind while writing that to a degree, but only because I think 'you wouldn't do this with your friends' is a very common argument people put forward about qprs and I think it's a weak argument, because many people have different definitions of friendship, and the only argument I think is needed for any sort of I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing is...I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing. Like you can't offer a universal materialist definition of the differences between romantic, queerplatonic, sexual and platonic relationships, because the boundaries are very personal and it's really an emotional and experiential difference. so if that is the post you're thinking of, I wasn't criticising The Concept Of QPRs as much as saying that I thought trying to put hard lines around What Friends Do Vs What QPPs Do was a) counterproductive when arguing with someone who thinks QPR is Just Normal Friendships bc. if they do those things with their friends then saying NO THIS IS A QPR THING just reinforces their existing belief that you're talking about the same thing as they mean by friendships and b) to me seems to set a painful expectation to young people that you can only get these kinds of close friendships occasionally and in the form of a QPR and it will be stigmatised and misunderstood (and depending on how people talk about it, is only accessible to aspec people and allo people should only expect it to come through romantic/sexual relationships), when in fact most people of most ages I know have friends with whom they can share things like housing, deep feelings, futures, finances, who they miss if they don't see for a few days, who are mutually supportive and vital to their wellbeing. I don't think that's mutually exclusive with the existence of QPRs though - like I personally don't know what the difference is between a QPR and a close friendship, but I also don't know what the difference is between a romantic relationship and a close friendship but I know there is one and I know it's not a question of What You Do but a question of How You Feel And Interact, and that's pretty hard to define in unambiguous terms.

Like generally I don't Not Think QPRs exist, and I think it's a dick move to try and tell people they're wrong about how they experience and define their relationships because???? how are you meant to know that better than the person whose relationship it is??? but I do think the way people talk about QPRs (both from the perspective of defending them and from the perspective of attacking them) is pretty rife with problems and I don't think it's invalidating the reality of QPRs to talk about where the arguments and language around them potentially falls down or has unexpected consequences.

On the other hand, I don't know if that actually is the post you're referring to - the reason I'm calling back to that is that that and a few resultant asks are the only time I remember talking about QPRs on here in the last year or so. So like, several of these questions reference past posts, which is very fair, but I do need it to be clear that, since I don't really tag anything and I don't have a great memory, I can only really speak to What I Think Now In This Context, not to what I posted in the past and what I was thinking when I posted it. Like, this isn't too deny responsibility - I reckon I'm responsible for what I post even if I don't still agree with it, which is why I don't tend to delete my own posts on purpose - but just to deny capacity, I guess? I don't really KNOW what I've posted so if you talk about it in vague terms (and I do understand that if it's been deleted there's not a lot you can do but that) I may not necessarily be responding to the part of it that's worried you, so if I'm not speaking to something specific I've said or done, it's not because I Don't Want To, I just don't necessarily know to.

I'm waffling about this because looking through your messages there's a lot of "you said X" and like. given that the intended message of the post that's kicked this off was very different to the message people have taken from it, it feels important to me to know whether if I looked at the posts you're referencing I'd be like "ah yeah I did believe that but now I believe X" or if it's more a situation of "oh right I can see how you took X from that but my thinking was more Y".

(also sometimes when people say "you made a post" they mean "you reblogged a post" and I am a compulsive discourse scroller so sometimes I reblog a random post to bookmark my place on someone's discourse blog or I accidentally longpress the reblog button while scrolling - I try to delete reblogs that I don't agree with but sometimes I miss some, all of which to say if there's a post on my blog that doesn't seem to reflect what I say in my original posts then it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a crypto-whatever so much as I'm very lazy and messy with my blog. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable for reblogs but it's useful to know if we're talking original content or reblogs bc I'm unlikely to fully accidentally make a post. but I quite often accidentally reblog stuff. I doubt this is the case with this sitch just bc of your phrasing but I want to cover my bases)

anyway tl;dr: no I don't believe that QPRs themselves are inherently problematic, nor do I think I have at any point believed that, but I do think that a lot of the language and ideas used to talk about them are based in miscommunication or absolutist ideas about relationships and can have damaging knock on effects.

[fanfics-of-marvel]

how about boss!bucky x reader in which reader is his secretary and theyre working late at night and are the only ones in the office then bucky calls reader in his cabinet and SMUT SMUT SMUT

Hello, anon! Thanks fore the great prompt! And thank you for being my first request! :) ♥ I wish you weren’t anon, so I could properly tag you but I hope you’ll still read it!

Send me a request or choose from my Prompt List!

——————————————————

Release date: 15/01/20

Pairing: Boss!Bucky Barnes x Assistant!Reader

Y/N: Once again you’re working late at night. Mr. Barnes calls you in his office. You expect to discuss your latest task but he’s a little drunk and decides to release his desire for your body.

Words count: 1.2K

A/N: I don’t like the word ‘secretary’, so I’ve replaced it ‘assistant’. Sorry, this took a bit longer to write!

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, drunkenness, unprotected sex

Requests | Masterlist

Taglist: @all-things-marvel-related ; @steeeeverogers ; @chipilerendi ; @starkershomelife ; @itavero-pater (I’m starting to belieave this person has changed their url) ; @merlin-288 ; @nutellakirb ;

The content is 18+ and you musn’t read it if you are younger than that!

I’m not a native English speaker, so there might be spelling or grammatical mistakes.

This fic is my own work, it is not to be re-posted on this site or posted anywhere else without my knowledge and consent!

——————————————————

Your eyes were weary staringat the laptop’s screen for the 12th hour today. They were slowly closing at thelatest report from the Sales Department. You felt your whole body drifting awayinto the world of dreams.

“Y/N, could you please come to my office?” You jumped startled at Mr. Barnes’ words over the speakerphone.

It was passing 9:00 p.m. andyou cursed the day in which the mistake occurred. Mr. Barnes was responsiblefor fixing it and as his assistant you were required to stay at work for aslong as he was there to help him with the task. And for a 3rd day in a row youhad to stay way passing your working hours. The sleep deprivation was killingyou more than the exceeded work and all you could think of in the past 1 hourwere your comfortable bed and pillow.

You got up and walked towardsMr. Barnes’ office. Your feet were killing you after the extended wearing ofhigh heels in the past 3 days. If you weren’t on such a respected position youwould’ve come to work in flat shoes indeed. Besides your bed you started dreamingof sneakers, too.

The door was opened, so youjust walked in.

“You called, Mr. Barnes.” Yousaid with a most faked enthusiasm and energy.

Mr. Barnes was sitting in hischair staring angrily at the screen. The lights in his office were dimmed, soonly his laptop was irradiating his face which was nonetheless frowned. Hisblue eyes were rapidly moving from one side of the screen to the other inapparent search for something. His tie was no longer present around his neckand the highest two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned. His jacket was thrownon the little office couch and his hair was the messiest you’ve ever seen it. Youcouldn’t help noticing the whiskey glass on his desk. You sighed – things wereprobably worse than you thought.

You cleared your throat afterthe pause during which Mr. Barnes didn’t react to your presence.

He finally lifted his head upand you noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes. He probably had even lesssleep than you.

“Y/N, thank you for coming.”Mr. Barnes said with a husky voice.

He then rubbed his eyes andplaced his elbows on the desk still holding his face. A loud sigh came out ofhim deafened by his palms.

“This is worse than wethought.” He said after finally revealing his face.

You took a deep breath whileclosing your eyes. Your poor cat must be starving by now. Toto would haveanother really late dinner.

“I was just looking over the reportfrom Sandra’s team. It seems to be okay.” You said as if it made anydifference.

Mr. Barnes looked at you. Youwere wearing a fit shirt with a small cleavage and a bit shorter than allowedskirt nicely shaped over your feminine curves. The outfit was enhanced by thehigh heels you were wearing. And this apparently drew his attention for hiseyes were looking you up and down as if he saw you for the first time.

You felt a littleuncomfortable and looked away trying to think of something to talk about. Mr.Barnes was undeniably a most handsome man with astute blue eyes but he was alsoyour boss, so you always chased away any dirtier thoughts about him. Besides,he was an alleged womanizer and you weren’t interested in such men.

He slowly got up and walkedtowards you waggling. His eyes were fixed on you even though his vision seemedto be blurred by the liquor. You tried to face him but the lust in his eyesmade you look away.

“Y/N…” Mr. Barnes started witha soft tone. “You’ve been such a good assistant in the past 1 year. Amazing!Irreplaceable!” He continued with genuine excitement.

You smiled with a little blushover your cheeks. He had never spoken in such a manner beforehand. You assumedit was the alcohol intake and the exceeded work but you were neverthelessflattered to hear those words coming out of Mr. Barnes’ lips. Even though hewas a little drunk.

“… and delicious.” Unexpectedly,he said looking down at your cleavage.

You took a sharp breath. Butbefore you managed to react in any way you felt his strong manly arms tightly wrappedaround your waist pulling you closer to him while his lips got stuck ontoyours. His whiskey breath hit you like a brick as you felt a little dizzy. Yourknees bended and if it wasn’t for Mr. Barnes holding you, you would’ve fallenon the ground.

His tongue invaded your mouthfeeling like at home. Your back hit the wall as Mr. Barnes’ body pressed yourssecuring that you wouldn’t be able to escape. A quiet moan left your lips only heardby the silence around you.

“Mr. Barnes, we shouldn’t…”You tried to protest. “You’re my boss. And you’re drunk.” You knew damn wellwhile he suddenly showed any interest in you.

He was probably quite intoxicatedand horny for some reason. And you were just the nearest delicious bite.

“Shut up and enjoy themoment.” Mr. Barnes replied lifting you in the air.

With your legs around him hecarried you to the desk. With one swing he pushed all objects on the ground. Youfelt the firm surface of the furniture beneath you as his hands literallyripped your shirt’s buttons to unveil your breasts. They were going up and downat the pace of your heavy breathing. He shoved his face at your boobs and youcould feel his playful tongue all over your naked skin.

“Oh, Mr. Barnes…” Another softmoan came out of you.

With one quick movement your underwearwas off. You sensed him unzipping his pants while his lips were on your neckagain. A loud sigh exited your lips at the feeling of his hard cock enteringyour pussy.

Hard, fast and consistent thrusts,your nails tearing the skin on his neck, your sighs disturbing the silence ofthe office.

“Oh, Y/N, I’ve longed for youfor so long.” Abruptly, Mr. Barnes said.

You took a sharp breath.

“And I’ve always wanted to rawyou on my desk.” He continued while fucking you hard. “To finish inside of yourlittle pink pussy. Let me do it, let me freaking do it!”

“Mr. Barnes…” You started inbetween your moans. “I’ve always wanted you… and your dick.”

“Have him. Have him whole!” Hereplied back with even harder and deeper thrusts. “Do you like that, doll?”

“Oh, yes!” You screamed at thetop of your lungs. “Yes, just like that! Don’t stop!”

Thrusting and fingering. Heavybreathing and moaning. Kissing and biting. Grabbing and scratching. Licking andsmooching. An explosion of ecstasy for both of you. Your orgasms were long andburning. Burning from desire for one another.

Mr. Barnes took his dick outof your pussy after filling it with his warm cum and put it back inside hispants. He wobbled to his chair and sat down exhausted from his sexualexertions. Sweat was flowing down his face decorated with a smug smile. He wassatisfied. Not just sexually but psychologically as well finally having youbetween the legs.

“I need you here at 8:00 tomorrowmorning.” Mr. Barnes finally said.

You looked at him while stilllying on the desk drenched in your own sweat. Your pussy was dripping out hiscum. “Why?” Your working hours started at 9:00 a.m.

Mr. Barnes smiled smugly. “So Ican fuck you again.”

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Thank you for reading! If you liked it please react - reply/like/reblog! Your support is appreciated!

This fic is my own work, it is not to be re-posted on this site or posted anywhere else without my knowledge and consent!

[weareherepod]

Charlie character study (because why not)

I wrote this a while ago, but I forgot to post it! Charlie is the main character in the show, and she's probably one of my favourite characters I've ever written, I just love her so much. Anyway, here's a little thing I did for her and her relationship to Angelina, which I think I did very impressively without giving away any spoilers!

You want to disappear.

You want to hide behind the couch until the argument is over, you want to detach from your life and just watch it all fall apart in third person.

You want everything to stop. Maybe not forever, but just… for now. You’re so tired, and you’ve barely even gotten started, and when you look ahead, there is no future you can bear within reach.

And you’re falling apart, you’re out of control, you’re all on your own, so used to living on the edge of calamity that the prospect of your own death barely even phases you. If you’re going to lose everything eventually, what’s the point of trying, right?

But then there’s Angelina. There’s the girl made of ten-year-plans and golden sunshine ambition, a girl with a future who makes you smile, despite it all.

You’d do anything for her, you think. Even though you’re not supposed to. You want her perfect future, you want to stand beside her until you’re old and grey, tired-out with nothing more to say. You want to help her get up off the ground when everything seems hopeless, you want to fight at her side. Even if she’ll never love you back, you’d give her everything you’ve got, a thousand last-ditch efforts.

But you don’t know how to tell her that. And you probably don’t deserve to. You are content to love her quietly, and live in a daydream, where you hold hands on the bus, and wake each other up with gentle forehead kisses.

You’re all right with your fate. To fade to the background, one way or other, and crumble to ash in this city. Just another case of wasted potential.

You didn’t think she’d try to follow. You didn’t think someone like her could ever possibly feel the same way, but when you wake up, she’s right there at your side.

You didn’t know love could feel like this. Kind, and gentle, and safe. Not a struggle for power, not a constant battle. Just a normal, quiet Sunday morning, not sure where you are or what comes next. All you know is that the morning light washes over her cheeks, and makes even your messiest lines feel beautiful.

And in that moment, you realize something very important: you don’t want to die anymore. You don’t want to give in, or follow after your friends like dead weight, just barely getting by. You want to do something important, you want to learn everything this is to learn about the world, and learn its twists and turns. And you’re scared, and confused, and tired. But you want to live. You want to try.