#ridiculous story

[lily-of-the-flame]

The Horse and the Squirrel

Belior needs a meaningless, ridiculous story, and it’s your job to help write it!  It should be as ridiculous as possible.  This google doc is open for anyone to edit, so go ahead and write the most ridiculous story you can!

Have as many plot hole as you'd like! It doesn't matter! The story is intended to be ridiculous and make no sense!

Belior would be playing a variation of this song while telling the story if books had audio.

Reblog so more people can participate!

Let's tell the dumbest story we can!

[lore-gore]

Ridiculous things that happened in school:

One guy would always wear his backpack backwards. Like on his chest instead of his back.

A kid set fire to the sink (put papers towels in sink and lit it on fire.) He never got punished cause our school sucked ass. Next year he did it again.

A boy managed to parkour himself onto the roof of the cafeteria. He did not know how to get back down.

Two boys switched pants with each other in class. Like took off their pants and traded them in front of the whole classroom.

A girl asked my friend for a pair of scissors, then asked the teacher to go to the bathroom. She came back with bangs. She cut bangs for herself in the girls bathroom at school using borrowed scissors. Power move.

For a project we had to make brochures and present them. One boy said "I made mine a bit bigger so everyone could see" and then proceeded to pull out a tri-fold board.

During a theatre performance someone's phone went off. It was the Mario theme song. It echoed through the theater, killing everyone instantly. Best part is it wasn't a students phone, but an adult lady's.

We were in theatre and had to write a skit based off of a kids story. A group did Horton Hears a Who. The name was "Horton Hears a Who 2: The Electric Boogaloo: JoJo's not his son. " It was set as a game show meant to reveal your ancestry. What it did reveal was that the mayors wife cheated on him with the mailman. It was a true masterpiece, complete with a squeaky pubescent voice from JoJo, who looked like a human version of the character.

[aye-of-newt]

guillermo del toro’s pinocchio is a beautiful film but my god no one has adapted that story like neverafter. you can never look at it the same way again after listening to lou wilson, a black man, explaining that he chose to play as pinocchio because it’s a story about a little boy who isn’t allowed to make mistakes. that in pinocchio's story, he is fundamentally barred from childhood at once upon a time. he must earn something that everyone else is granted from birth. the other boys get to tell lies and play and get into trouble, but when pinocchio does the same thing there are grave and violent consequences. his pinocchio is trying to understand why the world is so unfair, why the rules are so different for him, why everyone else gets to be a real boy.

and I think about it every day.

[smolphrog-littlebrain]

Kids on the internet now a days are literally wild.. like when I was 12 and on the internet, i was lying out my asshole I was telling people about my kids and my wife. I was talking to them about taxes and how I miss my college days.....now 12 year Olds are out here telling their AGE?!?! OR REAL NAME?!??! I was literally fucking Garry that worked at staples and had 2 children for like 4 years...

[starflungwaddledee]

from: @starflungwaddledee to: @post-it-notes7

message from santa: "happy holidays post-it-notes! 🎄🥳 i know you very politely only wished for a few modest things- characters high fiving, or struggling in christmas attire- but i hope you'll still enjoy this given that i kinda went the opposite direction entirely! i'm an enormous fan of your work and most times you post anything i wind up browsing your art tag from tip-to-tail in enraptured delight. as such, i thought it was only fair i give back something a little more significant in gratitude for all the joy your work has given me. i knew i wanted to do a comic, so i was thrilled you already had a whole storyverse for me to work from!! this scene seemed the most obvious choice (chapter 8 of "wishful thinking" on ao3) given that i enjoy a dramatic fight scene 😂 i tried to stick as beat-by-beat to the writing as i could and worked in as many details as possible; i hope it'll be fun to see it envisioned this way! merry christmas! ~starflung 🎀🔔 "

[riyo-soka]

Why tf were the dog and Crosshair consistently better at sensing incoming danger than the guy who was literally engineered in a lab to sense incoming danger. You’re telling me that when a brainwashed assassin ordered to capture Omega was literally in the same room as him, Hunter “overprotective father figure” badbatch couldn’t pick up on that but their new dog did?

[thankstothe]

One liners the sequel

[shirozora-draws]

I really, really, really wanted a winter vibes doodle, and also I needed to warm up for the next round of fic illustrations. I see this as a win-win scenario.

And then I kept letting the brain talk me into an entire scenario around the doodle. Whoops.

In conclusion, happy holidays, have a human kid!Grogu riding a long-tailed reindeer.

[lonelyzarquon]

THE SARAH JANE ADVENTURES | Death of the Doctor

[mr-smith-stories]

Mr. Smith #15: Mr. Smith Becomes A Professor

Mr. Smith sat back in his chair on a warm September morning, the first day of the autumn semester. The leaves had not started to fall from the trees, and as Mr. Smith peered out his window he could see Greenbirds hopping around on the field by the lake. Mr. Smith sighed, wishing desperately that he could pet those Greenbirds, which for some reason always flew away. Besides, he had an important job to do- today was his first day as a professor, teaching Child Psychology to a bunch of pretentious stuck up nerds and his friends, who he had blackmailed into joining the class.

Mr. Smith smiled to himself as students began to enter the class and take their seats. Mr. Smith’s friends all sat down next to Mr. Smith’s desk. Mr. Smith stood up, turning on his computer with the syllabus displayed on the screen. It was five minutes until the class began, but Mr. Smith figured it was time to start. “Hello, class. Welcome to Child Psychology. My name is Mr. Smith, but you must call me -“ Mr. Smith paused upon seeing who entered the classroom. He gasped. “YOU! The gay geniuses! Oh no! What do I do? I have to teach a class and now you’re going to make me look STUPID!”

Leo and Ritchie groaned while Alex held back a laugh. “We’re in class with YOU? Oh dear lord. This is going to be a long semester, unless of course you inevitably quit your job once you remember that we’re smarter than you,” Leo said.

“Now you listen here, devil spawn! I’M the genius here! You’d better RESPECT me, or you’ll be forced to leave this class!” Mr. Smith stamped his foot.

“Shouldn’t you be teaching instead of arguing with us?” Asked Ritchie.

Mr. Smith gasped. “You’re right! Oh no! Um, welcome to Child Psychology class. My name is Mr. Smith, but that’s Dr. Smith to you, because I have recently gotten my PhD in psychology, which is why I’M the genius here, and all of you stuck up intellectual rich brats had better not forget it!”

“Did you just insult the entire class?” Alex asked.

“People insult me all the time!” Amy said. “When I was working at Target, I kept forgetting what to type into the cash register, even though what they bought was right in front of me, and people would tell me I wasn’t qualified to work there. It was so annoying!”

“That is annoying! When I worked at Target, I would lose the stuff people bought right after they gave it to me, and spend twenty minutes looking for their purchases when I had put them under the cash register. People talked to my manager and I got fired. It was a-nnoying!” Susan replied.

“Oh my God, that’s so relatable!” Amy high fived Susan, who sat next to her.

“They fired you?!” Frankie asked, alarmed. “What a cruel world for the working class! America is supposed to be land of the free and home of the brave! How villainous your boss must have been! To leave you out on the street like that!”

“Actually, I was living with my parents still, I was sixteen-“ Susan began.

“Oh, you were but a little sixteen year old girl! A child! How sadistic the system is to children! Poor, hard working children slaving away for hours at a cash register! It’s back to the Industrial Revolution! These are tough times for us all! Poor, young, naive, innocent Susan! A victim of the rich liberal elite!” Bob began to sob.

“I hate the rich liberal elite. They refuse to acknowledge hard working kitty cats and how we contribute to society as a whole! Cats should have equal rights with humans! I want a cat to be president one day!” Kitty yelled.

“I want to see a trans person in office one day,” Alex said.

“A trans person?! A cat would make a better president than a trans person! Trans people are delusional!” Kitty paused. “Oh, look at the clock. It’s time for my nap. Cats sleep multiple hours a day, you know.” Kitty laid his head down, closed his eyes and began to meow softly.

“Please, TEACH the class, Mr. Smith.” Ritchie groaned.

“Yes, let’s try not to make this as painful as possible,” Leo remarked.

“That’s DR. Smith to you!” Mr. Smith pounded his fist on the white board.

“Oh yeah?” Ritchie snorted. “What was your dissertation on?”

Mr. Smith began to gesture with his hands and mouth words no one could hear. “Is a dissertation a type of dessert?”

“No. Oh my God!” Leo facepalmed.

“What is your PhD in?” Asked Ritchie.

“I studied genius IQ in children at the puppy farm! Did you know children from the puppy farm have more consistent scores on standardized tests?” Mr. Smith asked.

“Do you mean they all fail?” Asked Leo.

“Yes! Because their minds are pure with the beautiful, creative freedom of thought taught at the puppy farm! These children know all about Greenbirds and Oak Trees, but these tests simply don’t know how to measure intellect. If they did, why do all these geniuses score so low?” Mr. Smith scratched his head.

“Jesus Christ,” Swore Leo.

“Just get on with reading the syllabus.” Ritchie sighed.

“Ok, devil spawn,” Mr. Smith said. “First, there are no tests. You will instead be asked to prove your genius level intellect at the end of the semester by playing a game of Jenga against me. If you lose, you’re obviously not a genius and you fail automatically. If you refuse, you fail again.”

“That’s not very fair-“ Ritchie began.

“Shut up devil spawn! I’m the genius here! I know what I’m doing!” Mr. Smith threw a marker from the board on the ground.

“You’re such a cute professor,” Said Philip. “I’ve never had a professor as handsome as you.” Philip smiled in a daze, then snapped to attention. “But no homo, right?”

Mr. Smith sighed. “You’re cute too. No homo.”

“You can’t flirt with the students, that’s completely inappropriate!” Alex said.

“What does the word, “flirt” mean?” Asked Mr. Smith.

“I think it means that thing on a male’s neck that moves when you talk.” Philip said.

“You’re such a genius, Philip. You’re almost as much of a genius as me,” Mr. Smith said. “Anyway, there are no assignments, except one quiz. The quiz is just, ‘True or False: Mr. Smith is the smartest person to ever live.’ If you answer differently than how I want, you fail.

“Next on the syllabus is attendance. If you don’t constantly remind me that I’m smarter than you, I will count it against your class participation and attendance and you will fail. Writing this was a lot of work, so that is the end of my syllabus. Now we will move on to lecturing.” Mr. Smith pressed a button and began his slides.

“Now, before we begin, let’s establish some background knowledge. Does everyone know what a child is?” Mr. Smith addressed the class.

“Are you kidding me? This is Child Psychology. Of course we know what a child is!” Leo exclaimed furiously.

“Well, as your professor, I have to account for the fact that most of you did not attend the school of the puppy farm, and are wherefore not as educated as me. And that some of you are level 10 or 50 IQ.” Mr. Smith said smugly.

“For the last time, I am obviously not a level 10 IQ, and Ritchie is obviously not a level 50 IQ! We are both geniuses and you are just jealous of us!” Leo snapped.

Mr. Smith scatched his chin, then began to gesture with his hands and mouth things. “I didn’t have any jello with the sandwich Mom packed me today.”

“That’s not what jealous means!” Leo snapped.

“Shut up and let me lecture, devil spawn, or I will give you a Detention!” Mr. Smith stamped his foot.

“This is college, you can’t give me a detention-“ Leo began.

“Shh!” Mr. Smith shushed him. “Let’s discuss the maturity of children. Despite common miscontraceptions, children are very mature. I know this because people are always comparing me to a very young child, and I’m very mature. Children must wherefore be very mature and geniuses, and lose their genius intelligence as they get older, except me because I have 1 million level IQ.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Said Leo. “You’re not qualified to teach us anything! That’s it! I’m walking out! Who’s with me?”

Ritchie and Alex got up to leave, followed by several other students. Mr. Smith yelled, “Wait! Don’t go!” More students got up to leave, so Mr. Smith became enraged. He ran to his desk, picked up his computer monitor and chucked it out the window. “Whole lot of good you did me!” Then he picked up one of the student’s backpacks and threw it across the room. Then he tipped his desk over and dumped water all over his computer, and chucked that out the window for good measure. As more students began to leave, Mr. Smith ran to the whiteboard and began to pound on the white board while yelling, until finally everyone was gone, including his friends who thought it would be funny to leave and make Mr. Smith angry.

Mr. Smith ran out into the hallway. “That’s IT! I’ve had it with you gay geniuses! I quit! I’ll never teach ever again!” Then he called the dean and quit his job, which he had only gotten because the dean had eaten yet another apology pot brownie from Mr. Smith’s father.

Fin.

***

[chipper-smol]

you cant do this to me we’ve known each other for less than 30 minutes

[riemmetric]

I was thinking this morning about season 1 Bobby Nash (with the added context of Bobby Begins again). I was thinking about the fact that he didn't come to LA to start a new life. He came to LA to die. He came to save the life of 148 people and end his own life when he was done. I was thinking about Bobby seeing himself as a superhero, invincible and untouchable, then seeing his failures pile up. The shame that comes with that, how heavy it must be. Bobby turning into a monster, people dying on his watch. He wasn't just a father and a husband, he was a first responder. He swore to protect not just his family, but everybody in the world. The guilt. Bobby losing hope. Giving up. Staying alive just to repay a debt, but ultimately choosing death. If God didn't kill him, he would do it himself. And then his new friends, his new family, punching holes in the armor he's created around himself. Putting hand over hand to pull him out of the hole. Bobby Nash is alive today because his friends loved him back to life.

This is the story that made me fall in love with the show.

[daisyswift3]

A Summary of the 🎃 Messages--The Overarching Story

So I just realized sth abt the 🎃 messages while listening to ttpd—they’re in chronological order!! I am going to try to give a summary of these messages and explain why I believe this. This album has made 99% of her songs, mvs, metaphors, and symbols make perfect sense. There were always some things like getaway car, cruel summer, and the palm trees in rep era that I could never quite figure out but now it's all crystal clear. It's like ttpd is the last piece of the puzzle needed to make everything fall right into place and to see the whole messy complicated story. One thing I want you to take note of as you read this summary is how incredibly consistent Taylor is w her use of metaphors and symbols. This makes solving the puzzle that is her music more like solving a cypher that you can know you solved correctly bc all the symbols will fit together perfectly just like a secret code. Once you understand what one symbol represents you now know what it means every time you see it. Every word or phrase she uses is intentional and there's not a single easter egg that's out of place. You'll notice in ttpd there are several words and phrases that are repeated bc she wants us to know that certain songs are related. 🎃 anon said there would be many connections and foretellings in the messages that we could find if we held them to the light in the coming unfoldings, and boy they were not wrong. So w/out further ado let's get into it (just a warning though this will be pretty lengthy so grab your favorite drink, some snacks, and get comfy).

1st message: The first one starts right before rep era when her rep started going down and she started feuding w her record label. These are the obstacles she didn’t see coming that made her slam on the (getaway bike) brakes (which were cut so she had to use her foot to slow down) and not come out. The "heel damaged" could be a reference to Achilles' heel since this was a weak spot she didn't see or it could be a reference to Jesus' heel being bruised in the 1st ever biblical prophecy (see this post for more on that). This was her first big pivot and change of plans. Many ppl have theorized that TS6 was originally going to be a different album--perhaps lover/daylight--but kimye and BMR got in the way of that. This would explain why she wears an outfit w palm trees on it while cutting the wings off her TS6 jet. She spray paints "reputation" on it which seems to indicate it was a haphazard last minute change of plans (x). Plus the endgame mv has palm trees and shows Miami, Florida (which I think is related to Florida!!! but I'll have to get to that another time) connecting it to "Island breeze and lights down low, no one has to know...In the middle of the night in my dreams I know I'm gonna be with you so I take my time." Miami is the paradise where her endgame happens. This all seems to indicate she was ready for "daylight" or "paradise" during rep era but had to pivot.

The Prophecy: “Hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle, Oh but it’s gone again"

2nd message: This is abt the lover rollout that started in spring of 2019 -> "The time draws near, springtime sunshine causing small drips and fractures." The ice castle likely represents the lover house (her music empire, past eras, and closet) since she burns it down w a match just like she does in the eras tour visuals and midnights -> "You strike a match and blow the smoke toward the structure that shelters and protects you. Suddenly, you hear a crack, a crunch, a whoosh. There is a sudden give beneath you, and you tumble through the broken, melting hole in your palace." The ivy reference (spring breaks loose, the time is near) just solidifies my theory that ivy is a song abt an eventual kaylor reunion that will happen before she burns all the files and deserts all her past lives (eras).

Lover era was her second big pivot. I believe she knew there was a very good chance Scott B would sell her masters all the way back in rep era hence why she says "I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone, devils roll the dice" (see this post for more on that). "However, in this suddenness you find yourself still somehow underprepared, kicking yourself for the time you squandered by wallowing in the seeming endlessness of your predicament" -> Her being unprepared to come out along w the mastersheist is what caused her to miss her 2nd opportunity to come out. She was so caught off guard that it made her indecisive. And so she played it safe and stayed in the closet -> "Our coming of age has come and gone, suddenly this summer it's clear I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near." Remember how I said Taylor is very consistent w her use of metaphors? Well I made a post a while back explaining how folkmore represents the seasons bc summer = daylight and winter = closeting and folkmore was Taylor trying to come to terms w her 2nd failed coming out hence the grey and beige ("I'm just a paperweight in shades of greige"); so that means the ice castle = winter = closeting and springtime sunshine = almost daylight = almost being out of the closet (and spring was also the time when the lover rollout started so it has a more literal 2nd meaning to it as well).

The Albatross: "So I crossed my thoughtless heart spread my wings like a parachute, I'm the albatross, I swept in at the rescue." [I think there's a good chance this song is abt Scoots so it makes sense the parachute metaphor, which relates to her masters and failed coming out, would be used in this song]

The Bolter: "By all accounts, she almost drowned when she was 6 in frigid water...It feels like the time she fell through the ice then came out alive." ['Long story short I survived']

3rd message: This is abt the mastersheist (diamond heist) during the summer of 2019. It parallels the I Can See You mv exactly (see this post). In hindsight it now makes perfect sense why 1989 tv didn't have any mvs--bc the Fortnight mv is a direct continuation of the ICSY mv! Before the Fortnight mv, the ICSY mv was the most recent one. She didn't want anything between those 2 mvs so that it was obvious they were directly related. Her losing her masters and her 2nd opportunity at daylight is what drove her to insanity and caused her to end up in the asylum -> "I find the artifacts, cried over a hat...I trace the evidence" // "And so I enter into evidence my tarnished coat of arms, etc" | "Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away?"

"Mere feet away from the light of freedom...Your getaway bike begins to leave without you, sparks flying as the tires try and fail to slow down for you. You have frozen in this moment of indecision" // "It was the great escape, the prison break, the light of freedom on my face...he was runnin' after us, I was screamin', 'Go, go, go!'" -> There are 2 getaway car mentions in this message which emphasizes its importance. This is likely for a few reasons: 1) To explain what the song getaway car was actually abt--her feud w BMR, not the beards 2) To show that message 1 and 3 are related; the getaway bike is mentioned in both since both are abt her masters 3) To show that the lover era pivot was actually just history repeating itself; this is what Cassandra and the Prophecy are abt.

Cassandra (notice the piano melody from mad woman): “So they set my life in flames, I regret to say do you believe me now? ['If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too']…They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time that I was onto somethin', [She knew there was a good chance her masters would be sold as shown in cruel summer] The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line" ['Now he sits on his thrown in his palace of bones praying to his greed']

Fortnight: "I was supposed to be sent away But they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic 'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic [Her fans didn't notice the shift from rainbows and pastels to black mourning clothes during the lover era] All of this to say I hope you're okay But you're the reason [The you in the song is Taylor; she's the reason she decided to stay in the closet] And no one here's to blame But what about your quiet treason?" [Taylor's indecisiveness is what led her to not come out the 2nd time]

loml (This is from Karlie's pov): "Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry...You shit-talked me under the table talking rings [Paper Rings] and talking cradles, [Lover mv] I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all, [They were so close to daylight]...It was legendary, It was momentary ['I touch you (daylight/sunshine) for only a fortnight']...Our field of dreams engulfed in fire" ['So they set my life in flames']

Florida!!!: "Little did you know your home's really only a town you're just a guest in, ['I touch you (daylight/sunshine) for only a fortnight'; 'And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign'] So you work your life away just to pay for a timeshare down in Destin" [Taylor did all this masterminding and planning just to end up still stuck in the closet and bearding and only being able to see her lover in stolen private moments]

Fresh Out the Slammer: "Another [cruel] summer, taking cover, rolling thunder, he don't understand me"

The Bolter: "But it always ends up with a town car speeding" [getaway car]

Peter: "Forgive me Peter, my lost fearless leader, in closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids, Is it something I did?" [Peter is herself; 'I'd be a fearless leader' and the fearless album; 'closets' is obvious]

How Did It End?: "We were blind to unforeseen circumstances, We learned the right steps to different dances, and fell victim to interlopers' glances, Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?...It's happening again" [This is the 2nd time she's lost the opportunity to come out]

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: "I'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague" [They're in love w each other but can't be together in public; 'Break my soul in 2 looking for you but you're right here']

Down Bad: "For a moment [a fortnight] I knew cosmic love, now I'm down bad crying at the gym...'Fuck it if I can't have him I might just die it would make no difference'" ['You (Taylor) told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I (Karlie) ever leave']

5th message: Out of all the messages this is the one I'm the most uncertain abt. But I think it is possibly about JA leaving before his contract was up. "You are in a kitchen. Not your kitchen, of course. Your kitchen is soft and cozy and sacred. THIS kitchen is hard and cold and purely functional" -> This is not the sacred kitchen from Cornelia Street that she shares w her lover, this is a PR stunting kitchen that's a false imitation of the real domestic bliss she has. A few yrs ago kaylors were talking abt how Karlie has a kitchen that she only uses for PR/social media purposes so pumpkin anon could've been trying to remind us of that. These 3 messages from flag 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 anon make me think the breakup happened sooner than planned.

The July 29 message wasn’t meant to be posted until Oct 8 since it was hinting at the Toe breakup happening 5 months later in mid March, 2023.

The Nov 23 message mentions a “shift of footing” which we all agreed meant Toe 🦶 was over. The Dec 5 message w “the need to flex is sometimes necessary” directly following the Toe breakup message is what really makes me think it wasn’t planned. They had to pivot/flex but “other milestones are resolute” meaning the endgame is still the same—K and T will still reunite and both will be out of the closet at a certain time. Plus there’s the “…” at the end of the Nov 23 message which also indicates the Dec 5 one is a direct continuation of that message.

To add more credibility to this theory, RFI and SIG also have ellipses. RFI always seemed like it was supposed to be a direct continuation of SIG bc SIG sets up the “chess game” w her and her lover doing magic and pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, and RFI is when this chess game officially begins, "baby let the games begin."

Some other kaylors said they thought “the need to flex” meant that she wanted to give anti hero more time on the charts so she was flexing or showing off. But I think it makes more sense for it to be related to London Boy himself and not having him as a beard since that’s the whole purpose of having the 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 flag. I could be wrong though.

So Long, London: “Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away…Holding tight to your quiet resentment…Every breath feels like rarest air when you’re not sure if he wants to be there” [This may mean that JA kept trying to break free from the contract and Taylor kept trying to convince him to stay but it didn’t work]. "My spine split from carrying us up the hill, Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill" ['They are bowing out, leaving you with double the workload, now half burnt and smoking. Their duties weren’t finished, and yet there is nothing you can do to make them stay. Shaken by this loss, chaos descends upon the team. Most roll up their sleeves to work harder']. "And my friends said it isn't right to be scared, every day of a love affair" [There were several blind items talking abt how JA was hooking up w men in a very unsubtle way; this could be what the 'cheating husband' mentions in ttpd are abt]. “Two graves, one gun” [Makes me think of a smoking gun which could be what the 'smell of smoke' in the message was alluding to. Maybe JA threatened to reveal her secrets if she didn't let him go and he had the smoking gun evidence to do so which was the recipe card. 'This time is different. Because you know this person actually has the means to share the secret menu, and that they have enough proof to make the waiting guests believe them.' -> I mean if anyone could convince the general public it would be the man who was supposed to be her boyfriend for 6 yrs]. “And you say I abandoned the ship but I was going down w it, my white knuckle dying grip” ['But you have never been one to lay your armor down. When you fail, you fail gloriously. When you go, you go kicking and screaming']. "I didn't opt in to be your odd man out" [She didn't want to be his beard just like he didn't want to be hers; and odd man out is a game that's played w 3 ppl where the odd man is the loser who's eliminated bc he didn't have a match]. "I founded the club she's heard great things about" [The Tortured Man Club -> The Tortured Poets Department that she's chairman of]

7th message: This message is all abt the domestic bliss she has away from the public eye. She has worked so hard to make sure her secrets are safe by building a tall impenetrable fence. However, she chooses to intentionally blow a dandelion full of secrets--perhaps ttpd is the dandelion w all the songs being the florets or secrets. There is one floret in particular that she’s worried abt—my guess is it’s Robin since it’s so damning if you know what to look for. Plus the song Robin parallels this message perfectly and evokes the same imagery. And to add even more credibility to this theory, the lyric vid for Robin has dandelion florets in the background. See these posts: (x)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x). "You are walking through your yard. It's one of your favorite places, all sprawling garden rows" -> Betty's garden; "your wife waters flowers," etc. "There are daisies - so many daisies - in every shade of your rainbow"--I don't think I even need to explain this. "Your lover and your fresh baked buns are safe. (The buns, of course, are in the oven turning golden as you speak. It's an old family recipe, jotted lovingly on a recipe card.)" -> The recipe card is perhaps a picture or some other sort of smoking gun evidence of Taylor's family and it connects the 5th and 7th messages together. And the meaning of "buns in the oven" is pretty obvious. "Golden" refers to Karlie.

Robin: "Higher and higher, wilder and lighter" [This may be a double entendre--not only is she encouraging this child to bounce higher on his trampoline or swing higher, she is also encouraging the dandelion floret (the song Robin) to fly higher and go out into the world after she blows on it]

The Albatross: "Wild winds are death to the candle...One bad seed kills the garden" [This may be connected to the dandelion metaphor and I believe there are many layers to these lyrics; wild winds can carry the dandelion seeds into other ppl's yards; if Taylor's secret gets out this can destroy the domestic bliss she has i.e. kill her metaphorical garden or candle; 'love's a fragile little flame it can burn out']

I Hate It Here: "I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind people need a key to get to, the only one is mine" [There is only one way to get into this garden since a tall impenetrable fence surrounds it; there are other layers in these lyrics as well like the escapism aspect of it]

But Daddy I Love Him: "I'm having his baby, no I'm not but you should see your faces" [Bc it's Karlie that had the babies]

8th message: This entire message parallels the Bolter. I believe this is abt Taylor finally choosing her lover over her reputation and choosing to intentionally destroy it in order to meet her lover down at the bottom like 🌋 anon mentioned. This may be the purpose of the whole Ratty debacle—to tarnish her image (by jumping into shark infested waters) so that when kaylor are together in public again her fans won’t be able to hate on KK w/out being hypocrites bc Taylor has already done all the things she knows they’ll accuse KK of, like being connected to someone who’s quite problematic. I believe this takes place from May 2023-now since this is when MH and her started “dating.” The use of all lowercase in the 🌋 messages may be a reference to the reputation album title to indicate that this is going to be a repeat of rep era but this time the damage to her rep will be intentional. I find it very interesting that the Feb 20th 🌋 message is the only one that has a word capitalized and the word that's capitalized is "Gold." This is in contrast to "fools gold" which is not capitalized or colored.

The self-loathing is palpable in Taylor's music (x) and it is displayed heavily in this message as well. I think it's possible the "enemy" is actually just Taylor herself or her public persona to be more exact. She is her own worst enemy; the Anti Hero mv illustrates this. She's the one that spreads the dandelions in message 7 which is what the enemy does in this message; she's the bear, and in the Bolter she (real Taylor) tames the bear (Taylor the brand). I believe TSMWEL could possibly be abt herself as well. I mean TSMWEL literally has "TS" in the track title. The clean version of the Bolter has the line "Then she'll call him a bore" which parallels TSMWEL, "You said normal girls were boring." It's as if real Taylor is doing an UNO reverse on Taylor the brand by treating her public persona the same way she treated real Taylor for years. This is very reminiscent of the Archer, "I've been the archer I've been the prey." I think TSMWEL, while it is abt herself, is simultaneously abt Scott B. And the reason for this relates back to what I said abt the 2nd and 3rd 🎃 messages--she blames both Scott AND herself for her failed coming out. The mastersheist threw her for a loop, yes, but she could've still come out anyway were it not for her indecisiveness. And I haven't have time to fully analyze MBOBHFT yet but I think it's similar where it can either be read from Karlie's perspective to Taylor after the 2019 failed coming out or from Taylor's perspective to Scott B/the industry.

The Bolter: "But as she was leaving, it felt like breathing, ['When I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe'] All her fuckin' lives flashed before her eyes...He [the 'enemy'] was a cad, wanted her bad just like any good trophy hunter and she liked the way it tastes taming a bear, making him care watching him jump then pulling him under" [This connects to the 10th message: 'You limp over uneven ground, smiling at the pain of the shark bite with each excruciating step - replaying the satisfying splash as you finally chose her over the world. As you grabbed the enemy and dove into the infested waters']

loml: "The coward claimed he was a lion" ['You’re a selfish asshole. So much of your fear is your own. You wince at your cowardice like it is a gaping wound. You so often find yourself unable to meet your own eyes. You scramble into shadows like a black cat. Scared, even, of being scared...You are a coward, but you are not a fool']

I Hate It Here: "I was a debutant in another life but now I seem to be scared to go outside" [In another life she already came out but in this one she's too scared to even leave her house let alone come out]

The Tortured Poets Department (This is from Karlie's pov): "You're in self-sabotage mode throwing spikes down on the road"

9th message: This message is abt her finishing her 11th album, the last chapter of her 11 part story, and then sending it out into the world like a message in a bottle (the Manuscript). So I'm assuming this would take place on April 19, 2024, the release date of ttpd. "You are sitting on a beach, cold and windswept. The sea is dark and angry before you." -> This may be the same beach and sea from the folkmore era. "The sun sets in muted colors." -> Describing the sunset colors as muted is quite interesting since sunsets typically have very vivid colors; this makes me think it's related to the eras tour visuals during the transition from august to illicit affairs (which I explained the meaning of in this post), and the folkmore color palette was mainly muted colors. "You finish scrawling on the parchment. Your pen dries up as you reach the end of a story in 11 parts." // "Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen," "my veins of pitch black ink." She is sick of having to dilute her truth through metaphors and allegories which is why she is a tortured poet -> "Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die." Plus there's the "parchment" which she mentioned many times during her eras tour speeches which relates it to the folkmore era (x)(x)(x). "And now it is just a matter of time. The dripping of candle wax. The ticking of a clock." -> (x).

I recommend reading this post which explains how the Manuscript, ATW short film, message in a bottle, the story of us, and 4th, 9th, and 10th 🎃 messages are related. Many ppl pointed out that the Manuscript lyric vid looks like a movie script, and she's been referencing films and books a lot recently which makes me think there's a good chance she's going to release a film and book abt her coming out story. The 9th message and the lyrics in the Manuscript make it clear that Taylor's discography as a whole IS the manuscript i.e. it's the author's (Taylor's) draft of her story that is getting ready to be published. In academia, a manuscript is a draft of your research that you send in to be peer reviewed and if it's accepted it then becomes a published academic article.

The Manuscript: "And the years passed like scenes of a show, the professor said to write what you know, [She's equating her life to a story w the different eras being different scenes or chapters] The only thing that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores, [message in a bottle; 'It may wash up on a sunny beach in Florida, or a rocky shore in the northwest'] Now and then I reread the manuscript but the story isn't mine anymore" ['Once you blow a dandelion, you never get it back. It isn’t yours anymore']

The Bolter: "But she's got the best stories"

10th message: This is a direct continuation of the 8th message and takes place right before she comes out of the closet (the wooden door in the woods). So this would take place after her rep has already been destroyed which I don’t think we’ve gotten to yet. My guess is that things will start ramping up in the next few months. She may start being papped w all her previous beards looking happy w them or sth similar which is all she’d need to do to show that the relationships were all fake and she’s been lying this whole time. This may be the “chaos” that 🫚 anon was referring to (see this post). This lines up with the blood moon glitch vinyl, representing chaos and disruption, being the 2nd quarter of the yr according to the midnights clock (4-6 or April-June, 2024). Plus many ppl think BDILH is abt MH--and Taylor meant for this to happen bc this album is full of red herrings--and in that song she says "He (MH) was chaos" so this might be a hint that the bearding shenanigans are gonna ramp up. Of course things are already plenty chaotic now w everyone thinking ttpd is abt 3 different men, one of which is pretty problematic, so perhaps this is all ginger was referring to. Taylor calling herself "the Bolter" has 2 meanings: 1) She is a coward who often runs away from danger 2) The 2nd more positive interpretation is that she knows "when it's time to go." I think it's very telling that ITTG is the last track on the deluxe edition of evermore and comes right after RWYLM, a song abt being stuck in the closet after the 2019 failed coming out. She's saying that she's not going to stay there forever(more).

The Bolter: "But none of it is changing that the chariot is waiting, ['The story of 2 princesses. No place for a prince'; the Cinderella metaphor (x)] Hearts are hers for the breaking, There's escape in escaping...Ended with the slam of a [closet] door but she's got the best stories, You can be sure that as she was leaving it felt like freedom" [The 6/21/2020 ♠️ riddle spells out 'They Are Free']

11th message: This message takes place after midnight at 3am on Nov 1 after she’s gone through the wooden door. In this post I explain how 3am connects to the witching hr or devil's hr. The fact that this takes place right after Halloween is quite significant since it is a day dedicated to remembering the dead, and death and ghosts are a big theme in ttpd. This symbolizes how after Taylor kills her old self (by dragging her into shark infested waters), she will resurrect as a new version of herself and leave the past behind her. And in doing these things, she will finally be able to go back to her figurative home, her cabin, that she was exiled from. -> "I think I've seen this film before so I'm leaving out the side door," "And I was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step...I had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn't be for evermore." "The flame🕯️ finally🕯️flickers🌬️OUT" -> The match that started the "goddamn blaze in the dark" is no longer needed now that the lover house (her closet) has burned down, so the flame flickers out. This metaphor shows up in Peter as well, "But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light," where the light dying represents the woman losing hope that a coming out will happen. Notice in this message from present anon that "Goodbye" has a capital letter G which I believe links it to "Gold" in the volcano message that was mentioned earlier. This may indicate that Karlie is the woman/neighbor holding the light and waiting for Taylor's return home. The Dec 26th 🌋 message is likely from Karlie's pov in this case.

Fresh Out the Slammer: "Now pretty baby I'm runnin back home to you, Fresh out the slammer I know who my first call will be to...But it's gonna be alright I did my time...Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge, [the burning of the lover house] As I said in my letters [the anon messages this corner of the internet has been receiving? Could also just represent her songs] now that I know better I will never lose my baby again...Swirled you into all of my poems ['My mind turns your life into folklore (literally and figuratively)']...To the house where you still wait up and that porch light [jack-o-lantern] gleams" [see this post abt the porch]

The Alchemy (This is from Karlie's pov): "What if I told you I'm back?...I haven't come around in so long, but I'm coming back so strong, ['But I come back stronger than a 90's trend'] Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me"

imgonnagetyouback: "Push the reset button we're becoming something new...Even if it's handcuffed I'm leaving here with you, Bygones will be bygone eras fading into gray, We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game...I'm gonna get you back"

[elvyn]

Anyway, the new Bleach opening has some pretty cool clothes

[neitherlightnordark]

from studying undertale (re: panicking while running from undyne) i have to say that its softness and kindness and sheer emotional weight is made more effective when paired with the fact that its so sarcastic and funny. obviously sans and especially papyrus are a good example here. papyrus follows 'dont kill and dont be killed' to a t bc that doesnt mean he cant be Fucking Brutal i cannot tell you how many times ive been owned by him. and yet there's moments where he casually slips in that youre his good friend. the moment you see the core when his expression crumples? when you try to call him one more time after talking to him before the core and he yells 'you don't have to say goodbye!!!'?all of these are made more effective by him looking me in the eye and saying things like 'it's undynes house. you know, the one with a skeleton in front'

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Oscar: Hey, man-.. didn’t think you’d be here ‘til later. Ivan: I lost my fuckin’ phone. Oscar: Again? Ivan: Will y’ping it on that thing for me? Oscar: If it’s in your garage again, I swear… Ivan: The bastard thing ain’t in there-.. just fuckin’ ping it! Oscar: Okay, okay.. keep your knickers on, geez. Ivan: I could’a done without this today. Oscar: You’re gonna have to start thinking about your blood pressure one day, chill out. Ivan: Yeah, yeah-.. where is it? Oscar: Uh, Oasis Springs..? Ivan: No, it ain’t! Oscar: Well, it is. Ivan: What the… Oscar: Say bye-bye phone. Ivan: God fuckin’ dammit-.. someone must’ve nicked it. Oscar: That’ll teach you. Ivan: [groans] For fuck’s sake. Oscar: Don’t mind uncle Ivan’s terrible language. Ivan: Yours ain’t no better. Oscar: What’ve you done-.. why do you look guilty? [Robin balked, lamenting the lack of control he had over his own face; he definitely had some work to do there] Robin: I don’t! Oscar: Uh-huh-.. who’s done what? [Robin hastily thought of something innocuous that’d still annoy his father enough to distract him whilst he escaped] Robin: Uh-.. I ate the last éclair. Oscar: You little shit… Robin: My bad!