#sam: i'm not mad i'm disappointed

[snnynatural]

@ruinedmyself liked for a starter : disappointed starter

"you  lied,  again."  sonny  looked  up  at  the  taller  male  she  considered  a  brother.  the  look  of  disappointment  etched  across  her  freckled  features.  knowing  the  winchesters,  lying  was  their  specialty.  to  each  other,  to  others.  it  was  never  due  to  ill  intentions,  but  it  didn't  mean  she  liked  it.  "you  lied  and  almost  got  yourself  killed,  again.  you  can't  keep  doing  that."  letting  out  a  huff,  she  shook  her  head,  "i'm  not  even  mad  at  this  point.  i'm  disappointed."

[magdaclaire]

something that makes me feel so attached to sam IS that complicated relationship with where he comes from and what he is. his abusive father made him the man he is today even when he's been dead for years

[findmeinforks]

Understanding - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader

A little break up, make up one shot while I work on part two of stay 💕 as always, let me know what you think! 2.4K Words ❤️

You had been understanding. You had been so, incredibly, unbelievably understanding. You had been kind, patient, considerate. You had thrown every insecurity away in your mind. You shoved your feelings right down your throat.

But that was over with now.

Now, you faced him. In the middle of the yard, your throat agonizingly raw from yelling. You were shocked he hadn't phased yet, but he knew the minute he did you would take off. The pack, watching from afar and unbeknownst to you, were also shocked at his restraint.

"I would NEVER do anything to hurt you. Why won't you believe that?"

You laughed wetly through the tears. You were down right manic over what he didn't comprehend.

"Really?? You don't understand why I would be upset by ANY of this? Are you that fucking blind?"

Paul huffed through his nose, attempting to control his temper.

"I have a job, Y/N. There's new bloodsuckers popping up every day now and we have to make sure we're ready for anything. That means stacking up our numbers against them. Guy or girl, they have to be trained."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes,

"And don't you find it at all peculiar that everyone else is out on their own but you're STILL having to train this same girl? DAY IN AND DAY OUT?!"

He sighed.

"She should be ready, I know. But every time we get on patrol, she gets fearful and fails at basic exercises. Sam has me spend extra time with her."

You threw up your hands as if the answer was obvious, "Then TELL Sam to have someone else take a turn?"

"She only likes training with me."

Your eyes went wide, and all you saw was red.

"AND THAT DOESNT GIVE YOU ANY FUCKING CLUE THAT MAYBE SHES FAILING ON PURPOSE FOR YOUR ATTENTION? THAT MAYBE SHE DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IMPRINTS? THAT MAYBE PERHAPS SHE HAS DIFFERENT INTENTIONS?"

Paul shook his head, him now scoffing.

"It's actually really hard to learn to navigate being a wolf. That's something YOU don't seem to understand."

You think you had lost your mind. It seemed as though the world crumbled around you, his words ringing in your ears from the impact. That was not something the imprint you knew before this would have ever dared say to you. It wasn't that you believed Paul would ever be disloyal, but your instincts were damn sure this girl wanted him to be.

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat.

"You're right. I don't. You need to be with someone that understands. We're done."

Paul stepped back like he had taken a blow to the chest. His eyes softened now.

"You....you don't mean that."

You headed towards your car, not being able to face the broken look in his eyes.

"Y/N, wait," he reached out, and even though you were mad, a part of it killed you to deny him.

You shook your head, new tears rehydrating their original streaks.

You sniffled, and took a deep breath.

"I'm tired, Paul. I'm tired of waiting up for you. I'm tired of being left unanswered for hours. I'm tired of making plans that just get canceled. Im tired of being lonely. And most of all, I'm tired of being disappointed."

He grabbed your arm before you could fully get in, and you saw Sam emerge, still at a respectable distance from the two of you.

"Baby listen, okay, I'm sorry. I can do better I-"

"You've said that before Paul. This is not the first time we've fought about this."

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes now.

"Please. Don't." He whispered.

He almost made you cave. You so badly wanted to stay. But you also knew if you did, it would be the same reoccurring cycle. He had to know you were serious. You wanted the relationship you had before she came along. Until you were sure you would get that again, you had to leave.

"I have to go. Call me when your priorities change." You said as you gently pulled out of his grip and shut the door. And with that, you took off to your father's place.

-

Paul stood planted in the same spot you had left him, shattered. What had he done?

He felt a small hand on his shoulder, a feminine voice in his ear,

"Maybe it was for the better. She seems like a total bitch."

Paul's blood turned cold. It was as if in that very moment, he had come to his senses. The smoke had cleared in his crowded mind. You were right. Of course you were right. All the stress that had been on his plate, he hadn't been thinking clearly at all.

He came to realization now, and it was too late.

Paul yanked away his arm, turning with a fury in his eyes to the woman behind him. She shrunk back under his gaze, feigning an innocence he knew good and well was all fake.

He trembled with anger, barely registering that Sam was now in between him and the girl. Paul pointed a finger at her, teeth gritting with anger.

"Get. The FUCK. Away from me."

Paul ripped apart as he phased, having it bottled up for far too long, and dashing off like a mad man into the woods.

The woman gaped like a fish, starting to babble, turning to Sam for reassurance.

"I didn't do anything I-"

Sam huffed a breath through his nose, "You heard him. I think it would be best if you left. Embry's cousin or not, you are no longer welcome here. That's an order."

Sam shook his head, running a hand through his hair as she stormed off. He felt guilty for letting it get like this. He had some suspicions about her joining the pack, seeing as she was always gravitating towards Paul, but he had shrugged it off, too occupied with everything else going on.

Sam also knew too well what it was like to hurt an imprint. Physically or emotionally, the bond felt all the same. Strict alpha or not, he valued Paul as a brother, and just hoped you would come back for him.

-

As Paul laid his head onto his pillow, he watched the days go by before him. Being forced to come eat dinner by Emily and whenever he had patrol were just about the only times Paul left his bed. He would call you once a day, sometimes with a small hope you'd answer, and sometimes just to hear your voicemail. After his patrol shifts ended, he would often sneak off to your house, just to make sure he'd know you were safe, if even from a mile away.

-

"Do you think she'll ever come back?" Kim asked Jared quietly one day, after watching Paul barely eat his food and sulk back up to his room.

"I don't know honestly. Y/N is just as stubborn as he is. But I do miss him. I've never in my life seen Paul like this. His internal thoughts are depressing as hell..."

Kim sighed, "It's not like she's doing any better. She finally answered my call yesterday, and I had to double check who I was talking too. She's miserable, Jare."

He shrugged, "I mean what can we do about it babe? You can't get involved in people's business like that."

"They're not people. They're family." She mumbled as she clutched her coffee mug.

-

Another week had gone by, the pack all sitting in the kitchen getting ready to eat.

"Boys. We have information on the new vampires in town," Sam announced as he walked through the door with Jacob.

"They're after Bella. She had a run in with that red head we keep chasing to the border every night. Her boyfriend had tried to kill her so the Cullen's killed him, and now this bitch is assembling an army to take her out for revenge." Jacob relayed.

This grabbed Paul's attention. If they were after your sister, that meant you were in danger.

"We're going to help them fight. Our people are at risk if we let this get out of hand, or if the Cullen's lose. But until the army comes here, we're going to be sharing shifts with them to watch over the Swan house," Sam said, looking at Paul who was heading out the door.

"Paul."

"You can watch Bella from a distance. I'm taking my imprint home," he slammed the front door.

"I can't imagine that's gonna go good." Embry mumbled.

-

Your body jolted upright from the couch at the abrupt knocking on the front door. You hadn't been expecting anyone, Bella out doing who knows what with Edward, and Charlie hours away on a fishing trip.

Opening the door your breath caught in your throat.

"What are you doing here?"

"We have to go. Now." He said sternly, ignoring your bewildered look as he flew past you and up the stairs to your room.

"And just who the hell do you think you are?!" You stormed after him, appalled he was barging in your house like this.

"There's an entire army of vampires on the hunt for your sister. You're not safe here, I'm taking you to Emily's." he said as he grabbed a suitcase and started throwing random clothes in.

"You don't own me Paul Lahote. I'm not going anywhere with you." You crossed your arms as you looked at him incredulously.

He refused to look you in the eye as he spoke, his breathing heavy from your scent,

"It is still my job to protect you whether we're together or not. You don't have to talk to me at all if you don't want too, and you can sleep in the spare bedroom" He said as he continued to pack.

You laughed.

"Come to Emily's with her there? I think the fuck-"

"She's not there anymore."

"Ohhhh so because she's gone you care about me again."

He stopped, this time turning to look you in the eyes for the first time in two weeks.

"Don't you ever fucking say that. I could give a shit less about her. It's always been you. I'm....look, I'm sorry I didn't make you believe that before. You were right. And I was so unbelievably wrong. I understand why you don't want to be with me anymore. I'm not asking you to forgive me. Im asking, just for the time being, that you do this so that I know you are safe....please."

You wish you could have stopped the tears that welled up in your eyes. A part of you wanted to stay mad forever, just to make a point. But the other just wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. Two weeks felt like two years apart from him, and your heart so desperately ached to be near him again.

"Fine," you whispered.

Paul looked like he wanted to say something more, his eyes lingering on yours, but he decided against it, zipping up your bag and heading to the truck.

-

Once you both arrived to Emily's the pack headed out to train with the Cullen's, leaving you both and Kim at the kitchen table.

"So you guys.....didn't make up?" Kim asked disappointed.

You shook your head, "He just wanted me here. He apologized and said he wanted me to be safe. It was left at that."

Emily reached her hand over into yours,

"Do you want to be with him?" She asked genuinely.

"I.....I mean," you sighed. "Of course I want to be with him. I just was so angry, you know?? I didn't like feeling that way in our relationship. Alone."

The girls nodded understandably.

"If it helps, he's been an absolute wreck without you. I think if anything it was a wake up call." Kim offered.

"I haven't been exactly living the best either," you slightly chuckled.

"Well. We are more than excited to have you back in the house. That being said, I'm going to need both of your help with dinner." Emily smiled as she looked at the clock, standing up.

You grinned, happy to at least be here with your friends.

-

It was the night before the fight. Everything was quiet, but you lie awake, your mind racing. You hadn't said much to Paul in the three days you were here. There were lingering stares, brushing past eachother occasionally in the hall, but no conversations had been had. You felt a pit in your stomach at the idea of this fight. What if something happened and you never got to see him again? What if the last thing you had between you two was this awkward tension? The more you thought about it, the faster the tears spilled down your cheeks. You sniffled hard.

A gentle knock at the door startled you, getting up you frantically tried to wipe them away.

There he stood on the other side, leaning against the frame. His eyes looked so exhausted, like he hadn't gotten sleep either in days. "Whats wrong?" He said softly, taking a look at your face.

His gentle voice was enough to send you flying into his embrace. You arms wrapped around him as you sobbed into his neck.

He held your waist as he walked you both backwards into the room, shutting the door. His hand caressed your face as he leaned his cheek on your forehead.

"Hey, hey. Shhhh. I'm right here. It's okay. You're okay. You're safe."

You leaned back just enough to look at him, shaking your head. Your voice was broken and trembling,

"I-I don't care that I'm safe. T-tomorrow. A-and you. What if we never-"

Paul used both hands to cradle your face.

"Hey. Listen to me. Everything will be okay. This is what we've been training for. It's us and the Cullen's against them, our numbers are stronger. I'll be fine, alright? I'm just happy you're here and away from harm."

"I can't live without you. I love you." You whispered.

Paul instantly kissed you. It was like a wave of relief and happiness washed over you as you kissed him back with every ounce of passion you could muster.

Both your tongues danced as you refused to pull away from eachother. Paul bent down only for a moment to hoist you up in his arms, taking you into his room instead.

Unfortunately due to advanced hearing, the house was no longer quiet that night.

[sheawritesstuff]

Redacted Characters as Things My Partner & I Do - Part 2

✩ Damien writes Huxley love letters in French because, for some unknowable reason, it feels less embarrassing than writing them in English.

✩ Baabe pulls the “I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed” card every time Asher comes home with a Red Bull.

✩ Lasko talks so much on a regular day-to-day basis that whenever he stops talking for longer than 15-ish minutes, Dear is immediately concerned that he's upset or something is wrong.

✩ Before they moved in together, Sweetheart would ask if they could steal Aggro every time they came over - the answer was always no.

✩ Honey has threatened to leave Guy on the side of the road if he said “skibidi” one more time.

✩ Cutie rarely understands the weird songs Geordi gets stuck in his head and inevitably remixes with something else, but at least he's having a good time.

✩ Darlin tries to categorize Sam's sayings / phrases as either southern, old, or just a him thing - he will dispute their ruling no matter what.

✩ David covers Angel's eyes during the especially gorey parts of horror movies but still laughs when they get scared.

✩ Gavin stares at Freelancer any chance he gets, just memorizing every detail about them and smiling to himself.

✩ Aaron will tickle Smartass's sides then get offended when they do it back.

✩ Vincent kisses Lovely's neck when they're not paying attention and scares the daylights out of them.

✩ Ollie hums and pulls a big goofy smile every time Baby kisses him.

[jasmines-library]

Hii my bday is at 18th and i’m spending it alone so i thought of requesting a winchester sister where they just celebrate her birthday softly hahah

A Winchester Surprise

Hello lovely! Happy Birthday! Thank you so much for requesting, it means a lot to hear that people are enjoying my work. I'm sorry to hear that you have to celebrate your special day alone, but I'm hoping that the Winchesters will help cheer you up a little :)

Summary: After years of your birthday being forgotten or consumed by a hunt, your brothers make sure that this one is extra special.

Warnings: None!

Word Count: around 1.6k

⛤ MAIN MASTERLIST ⛤

When you awoke the bunker was silent. Your bare feet padded down the hallway as you made your way towards the kitchen. To your disappointment, Dean wasn't hovering over the cooker, nursing a tray of bacon. He wasn't in the library either. Furrowing your brow, you ventured back down the halls, settling outside of his room. You knocked, bouncing on your heels as you waited for his gruff answer, but you were only met with silence. So, you pushed the door open.

Dean's room was dark, but when you reached blindly for the switch, his bed was empty and unmade. Sighing, you turned up the hall to try your other brother. Similarly there was no sign Sam, though his sheets were neatly tucked into his bed. You figured he must have been on a run, until your phone buzzed and his number flashed up on the screen. Your heart sank when you read the message.

Sam: A hunt came up last minute, didn't want to wake you. It's not far. We should be back in a few hours, if not there's food in the fridge.

You sighed, shutting your phone off and slipping it back into your pocket. They had forgotten. Again.

For years, your birthday had often slipped their minds. When John was still alive, your special day hardly ever crossed his train of thought. When you were too young to hunt, your birthday was often spent with your brothers, locked away in some shitty motel room in the middle of who knows where. Dean was the one who made an effort to get you something. A few times he had even resorted to stealing, though that never really ended well, but the gesture always brought a grin to your face. Sammy always tried hard too, he would draw you pictures of give you one of his precious items that he had stashed away. But as they three of you got older and your brothers began to hunt, you were often left alone.

You wanted to be mad at your brothers for forgetting your birthday, you really did, but with everything that was going on in your lives you supposed it was something that was understandable. Besides, it was too hard to be mad at them when they tried so hard to balance everything.

Slightly disheartened, but trying to to let it ruin your day, you busied yourself with various jobs around the bunker. But as time ticked by and there was still no sign of your brothers, you picked up a book and slunk back into your room, curling up on your bed to read it.

It wasn’t long after you had settled down to read your book that a loud commotion broke through the silence of your room, occasionally broken but the sound of your pages turning. Intrigued, you slid out of bed and into the rest of the bunker.

It was oddly dark in the main entrance to the bunker, which was weird because you didn’t remember turning off the light. It was even stranger because if your brothers were home, they would need the light to see.

“Hello?” You called out into the silence. There was a hubble of whispering and shuffling coming from the library before it fell silent again. “Sam? Dean?”

As you made your way into the library, you reached blindly for the light switch. It flickered on, illuminating the room. When your turned around, your heart swelled.

In front of you stood your two brothers, spaced either side of the closest table, each wearing a party hat that looked far too uncomfortable on their heads. They had decorated the table with a selection of balloons in your favourite colour. In front of them lay a pile of badly wrapped gifts. Some of which were just paper bags from the gas station folded over and taped together with your name or some sort of drawing scrawled along the top.

What really caught you eye, and allowed a long smile to appear on your face, was the pie placed precariously in the centre of the table. Someone had suck a couple of candles in the middle of it.

“I- I thought you forgot.” You told them.

“How could we forget, sweetheart. It’s our little sisters special day.” Dean said, moving around the table to wrap you up in one of his bearhugs.

“You did all this for me?”

“Of course we did, kiddo.”

You grinned, engulfed in your brothers’ arms.

“There was no hunt, was there?”

Sam shook his head, which only made your heart swell more. They had taken time out of their day to do this for you.

“I know it’s not much, but we didn’t really know what to get you.” Dean told you. “And we couldn’t find a cake we thought you would like so we got you your favourite pie instead. But if you want us to go and get you something else then we can-“

“It’s perfect.” You beamed, cutting off his rambling.

“Dean was planning on cooking you up something to eat tonight. We thought it would be nice to also watch a movie or something together. We’ve got all the snacks you could ever need.”

“I would love that.”

~~~

The rest of the evening was full of laughter. Dean had attempted to cook your mothers famous casserole, but he wasn’t very successful. He ended up spilling half of the contents before burning the rest in the oven, so the three of you ordered your choice of take out. You then retracted to your room and piled up on the bed to watch a movie. You were squashed between the two boys, who took up most of the bed. Especially Sam. It reminded you of when you were small. And it brought a soft smile to your face.

“Thank you.” You told your brothers as the first film rolled to a close.

“For what?” Dean queried, shifting on the bed to face you.

You gestured around the room. “For this.”

“Oh y/n, it’s nothing really kiddo-“ Sam started.

“And for always being there. I don’t know what I’d do without you two.”

Sam looked at you in awe, before using the arm he had wrapped around your shoulder to squeeze you closer to him. “We’re so proud of you, Y/N. So proud.”

You smiled at Sam who returned the gesture without hesitation. Dean watched the two of you closely. He had had never been so proud of two people, ever.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Dean told you. “We love you so much.”

Note: I hope this was satisfactory! And I hope that you have a great birthday. Lots of love :)

[impactedfates]

I really love your blade and pregnant wife fic! Can I request their lives after the reader joins him on Stellaron Hunters?

A/N: I'M BACK, NO MORE WRITERS BLOCK. And hiii, thank you, I'm glad you liked it :)) And of course!! Here's some mini scenarios and HCs of what happened after the reader joined the Stellaron Hunters

Warnings: None (I hope, correct me if I'm wrong)

Extra: AFAB! Reader (GN terms/pronouns used aside from wife and mother) // OOC Blade most likely // Not proofread, as always correct me if I did smt wrong // PT 1 of the Blade x Pregnant Wife Fic here here.

SilverWolf definitely used you as a way to get Blade to do whatever she wants. If she wants to play a game with him and he says no? All she needs to do is mention you once and suddenly his hands all better and he can play.

He very much cuddles with you in bed (if you don't mind) Just note that if he has his arms around you, then it'll be difficult for you to leave.

When your kid is finally born, he's not exactly the best father but not the worst either. He knows his...demeaner can be scary to others, and he usually doesn't care. But if he scares his kid? I can see him sulking as you try to comfort your child and tell him the "scary old man" is in fact his father.

He asked Elio for some time off to help the kid settle in, as well, Being born in pretty much a criminal family isn't the best.

The child definitely sees Kafka and SilverWolf as their aunties and Sam as their uncle.

For some reason, I'd find it funny that when Elio was showing his more human form (he has one right-?) the child called him Grandpa. Didn't matter how young he looked.

Blade will protect you and his kid with his life, he instructs the two of you to stay put as he does his missions. He hasn't seen you in forever and he's not risking loosing you.

Maybe after the kid is born and has grown up a bit to be able to look after themselves and you're capable, he might be okay with you joining in on his missions.

Jing Yuan is disappointed you joined the Stellaron Hunters but not surprised when he found out. He either found out due to Cloud Knights who put two and two together/saw you with Blade OR you and Blade met him during a mission on the Loufu.

Okay but think of this, y'know how the Stellaron Hunters can bascially make a hologram of themselves onto the express? Imagine Blade trying to intimidate the express then his child just appears like-

Blade: "And I'll ensure my blade pierces through your-" Child: *Random child hologram appears* "Dada!!" Blade: *His demeanor changes as the mini hologram of his child appears, he looks at the child* "You're meant to be asleep...here let me take you to bed or else your mother will be mad"

*Cue The Astral Express Family Confusion*

He refuses to admit he has a weakness to you and his child. Like no he is not making you breakfast in bed just because and no he did not just steal a shop full of toys for his kid.

Blade lets you and your kid style is hair and if he's feeling up to it, he might let you put silly make up on. Imagine him going into a Stellaron Hunter meeting and his hair is braided into pigtails and he has pink sparkly make up on.

He cares about his small family...a lot...so if he sees you or his kid with the slightest cut he'll be quick to patch it up and if you ask nicely enough. Maybe kiss it better. (He won't admit he was worried though, just lecture you to be careful)

You're the only one who can see his more soft and caring side, especially alone. If you're with him with others, people will definitely notice how he treats you better then them.

You probably have scary dog privileges, he doesn't trust anyone to not hurt you so he'll come with you everywhere. And if you insist to go alone? He'll ask someone else to go with you so he can ensure your safety. (He's just doesn't wanna loose you again)

His child is home-schooled, even though he is scary and can probably convince someone to teach him at a school, he has a feeling they'd get bullied and/or no one will come near them if they knew he was the father.

All the Stellaron Hunters help teach them, and they even teach them additional things...

Blade: Kafka. Stop teaching them how to shoot a gun Kafka: Come now Bladie, they should know how to protect themselves. Blade: THEY'RE 4.

Your kids eyes are the same colour as yours and their hair the same as Blade...well his old hair anyways.

He's a good husband still, perhaps a bit more violent...never to you and your kid though of course. Just cold to others ESEPCAILLY if they're taking bad about you or his kid.

One of the reasons he acts this way towards youse is because he wants to make up for the amount of time lost when he was gone. So making you happy and ensuring you're still okay and healthy is his top priority. If you or your kid thinks he's getting too much than tell him and he'll agree to stop. He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable either. He just want you and your kid to be safe and happy.

Will be working on the other 2 current requests I have as soon as I can, apologies for the small break :>

This is most definitely not my best work but I hope you like it regardless (┳◡┳)

[chemicallywrit]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! I heard so many good shows this week, let’s goooooo

🥃 I started listening to @breakerwhiskey this week, and I’m on episode 21 (which is nothing, it’s microfic), and it is so compelling. Lauren Shippen said in episode zero that she misses the improvisational feel of early audio dramas and that really comes through in this show—the wandering of the story reflects the wandering of Whiskey herself. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

🎵I am not alone in my reaction to the new season of @hellofromthehallowoods, which I think goes something like, “Wh—who—but—Arnold?????” (Seriously, Arnold???) but I love a mystery, and I love how linear this season is starting out. I’m sure that it’ll all get more complicated soon.

💔 Have you all heard Josie’s Lonely Hearts Club? It’s a call-in advice show from a fictional radio station and it is HILARIOUS. Until this last episode, which got SAD. It's a partially improvised show, so the whole thing feels so incredibly human and it always hits. Please listen, more fictional advice shows all around.

🐺 The Midnight Burger/The Amelia Project crossover was exactly as delightful as I expected. We got two shows that love historical figures and putting people in the deep freeze. What could go wrong! Absolutely nothing. With a crossover episode I always wonder if there will be enough character interaction to slake my insatiable character dynamic thirst and for this one I definitely think there was.

🍺 Inn Between dropped an episode of Dragon’s Rest on their feed this week, and I'm here to say that we did that because it's frikkin hilarious. This last episode was so good, especially with Shax trying to talk to a bartender and the bartender getting mad that Shax was complaining about her friends and not having a professional business conversation. I love you, southern-sounding bartender, and I love you Shax.

🩸Hemophobia continues to scare the heck out of me. This series, Camp Havenside, ended exactly how I expected it to, with the extra twist of that horrible half-possessed state Sam is in. Lordt. Listen to this show. Mind the content warnings. Then like, message me about it, it has taken permanent residence in my brain.

🎭 Oh Malevolent, you never disappoint me. I adore the twists the season finale took, and the real danger Arthur and John were in had me on the edge of my seat. How are we gonna get outta this one boys! Frikkin Kayne.

💎 As it ever is, @kingmakerpod was a blessing visited upon my podcatcher. Oh man though, Lucas Lando, what a scuzbag. Like maybe the worst villain yet in this series for me, and I'm including the psychic child. Lando's just unsavory. The action scenes in this episode were excellent, and I love the use of Pocket Cinnamon. For a minute when they were looking for things in the barn that don't conduct electricity, I was very worried for the cows. Honestly now a little surprised they didn't explode a cow. Hey guys, why didn't you explode a cow?

🌈 I've been listening to this actual play, @ourstoriedinsight, and it's about all the typical actual play stuff--a party of misfit adventurers, thrown together by circumstance, trying to stop the end of the world. What stands out about this one is its wonderful sound design and its tone--it's so introspective and kind. The characters are great too. I would die for Vishakapar. If you like an actual play and you don't want to wait for it to get really good, please check out Our Storied Insight.

As for personal news, boy oh boy am I working hard on the Dead! Pray for our recording schedule these next couple weeks. As for Inn Between, we'll be putting up an episode this week that is a true banger, I hope you like it.

That's it for me this week! If you like what I do, send me a tip!

[erikatsu]

even when i'm not with you — blade

cw: gn!reader. hurt/some comfort(?). heavily implied depressive episode (reader). i am 100% projecting, idc. reader has hair long enough to play with. unedited. probably ooc blade.

note: i wasn't gonna post this, but i think we can all use the reminder that its okay to not be okay. aka i feel as if im bearing my soul rn LMAO.

BLADE is not a man of many words. he didn't enjoy meaningless small talk or even elaborate conversation. he simply preferred silence, unless you were the one doing the talking. and just as much, he hated it when you were silent. when you weren't going on about your newest interest or current hobbies, he knew something was wrong.

it wasn't like you to not greet him when he got back to hq, to not smile at him when he'd kiss the top of your head in response. silver wolf had mentioned you didn't seem to be your usual self, but he didn't realize how bad it was until he walked into the room you both shared. at first he thought you were sleeping, possibly due to the assignment you and silver wolf had been assigned to with sam while he was on the xianzhou. but when he sat down and leaned in to kiss your cheek, he realized you were awake and that you were just... staring at the wall.

he was worried before, and now he was also filled with guilt. it was not new to him, as you had your bad days– just like he did. he just hated he wasn't around to help you before it progressed into this. blade frowned, kicking off his shoes before laying down beside you. he pulled you into him, tucking you into his chest and holding you tight.

your lower lip quivered at his embrace, your eyes closing upon feeling the burning of tears that were threatening to spill. and as soon as he whispered, "it's okay, i'm here now", you couldn't hold them back. they fell down your cheeks, leaving glistening trails along your skin before they dripped onto his shirt.

at least you weren't numb yet.

you tried to reign in your emotions, but unfortunately he could tell by the way you were breathing that you were crying. he shushed you, pressing his lips against your hair before he played with the ends, "it's okay, let it out. don't keep it in."

but you didn't want to. you were sick of this feeling, and you were sick of getting into your own head. you had no reason to be this sad, or to feel sorry for yourself. yet... that thought could not break the chains that were tied around your ankles– keeping you shackled and nearly drowning within the depths of your own mind. no matter how hard you tried to claw at them, to break them free, you couldn't and that left you feeling even more trapped than when this had first started.

and you didn't even know when it started– that nagging feeling of worthlessness that had spiraled into the mess you were now. you'd pushed it away for so long and now it was coming back to bite you. your sense of time was skewed, your memory was getting weak, and your judgment was beginning to cloud. if something was not right in front of you, it did not exist and that could lead to mishaps just like what happened on the last mission you had been tasked with.

you'd been benched– elio believing that it was what was best until you got better– and that was what sent you over the edge.

you felt like a failure, and that you always would be one. you thought that the others were disappointed in you, when they were only concerned for your well being. that sinking feeling of not being good enough quickly turned into your heart dropping to your belly, completely breaking what little hope you had left. you had let them down, you were so mad at yourself, and you felt so guilty.

alone, all these thoughts bubbled up with your bottled emotions until they finally boiled over and took the lid with it.

you didn't even know how long you'd been holed up in bed. sam was constantly checking in on you, making sure you were taking care of yourself despite how adamant you were that you were fine, that you didn't need a babysitter, and that you could take care of your fucking self. but you couldn't, and that was the reality of it. if not for sam, blade would've been getting you into the shower while he made you something to eat as soon as he got back.

blade. you tried to hide your face against his chest, muffling a choked sob and a jagged inhale. you didn't deserve what little love he had left to give. didn't deserve to be held like this, to hear him humming a soft tune or feel his finger tips lightly tracing over your skin– much like you did with him when the mara flared up if kafka wasn't around. he deserved so much more than someone who was so... broken. he shouldn't have to comfort you when he had it much worse, but he would argue that demons were demons regardless of how they presented themselves.

he deserved someone who could make him feel more whole.

"im sorry," you tried to apologize, finally finding your voice. you hated being so vulnerable, so weak. you couldn't but to feel pathetic, crying over nothing like a child.

you went to sit up, causing him to follow suit. he caught you by the chin, gently turning you towards him so he could wipe away your tears. he shook his head, "don't apologize."

"but–"

he rubbed his thumb along your cheek, even though there was nothing more to wipe away, "there's no need to apologize for this, ever. we all have our own battles, but this does not mean you're losing yours. i will always be here to help, even if i'm not in person. i won't let you go through this alone."

you closed your eyes, more tears escaping before you finally nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder. he squeezed you back just as tightly, murmuring in your ear, "always, sweetheart. in this life and the next."

[sgiandubh]

Hi, I don't know if you understand me or go through this, I would like to know your feeling about it.

After all this circus (which I can't take anymore and after a few years in the fandom) I can't stand Caitríona anymore. I swear I try, I swear I try to get excited about her projects. I swear I try to understand her reasons, her anger, her antipathy towards us all these years. For a long time I managed to suppress this sad feeling I feel for her, but now it screams. I can not anymore.

On the other hand, I still support Sam, even more than I should, because he, along with her, plays the main role in the narrative and is not a saint. I think these feelings would be the signal to leave the ship. I no longer admire her, I no longer miss her, at least on social media, I no longer even want to see her face.

I feel bad for feeling this way, I don't know what to do. Have you ever felt like that? And before you start offending me, I'll tell you: I'm not anti, only or whatever. I am someone who paid a lot of attention to this narrative and ended up hurt, very hurt by them, by her specially…

Dear Feel Bad Anon,

I was just about to go to bed after a very, very long and dense day, but your question stopped me in my tracks. Story of my life, really: that banging on the dorm's door at midnight ('it's vile X, we just broke up, help') - ah, the memories. So, I will not let you down.

First of all, thank you for this ask. It is a genuine one, I know it. It takes a lot of honesty to write it down without cackle, hysteria and the everlasting 'they owe me' refrain (no, they don't owe anybody anything, because, Anon, do you owe anybody anything when you are that much in love? I am sure you don't give a hoot about Aunt Y and Neighbor Z, Anon, and fuck them and their curiosity, eh?). And, my goodness, you really do sound exhausted, here.

Take a good look at this pic I took in Mandalay (see post below) of a Yama Zatdaw (Ramayana) puppet show:

All these public ten years are summed up in here: the puppeteers (TPTB), the puppets (S&C) and the convenient prop ( T) in the middle.

Where are the private ten years? I could think of this Amarapura pic, taken the day after the puppet show:

And that is ok, Anon. It's them. Their lives. Their love. We are just peepers through a keyhole, in here: let's try and do it gracefully.

You don't like C anymore? S couldn't give a damn about how you feel, Anon, and forgive me if I sound brutal. He loves her and he already did the unthinkable for her. C does give a damn about you, however. Not because she cares about you, but because she probably thinks your intelligence and your questioning endanger her narrative and put at risk all the negotiated perks. This is why she thought intelligent to bark at you and publicly insult you: by a simple zealot reflex, her part of the bargain. It has nothing to do with her private truth. You are disappointed by a puppet, not the real C. Or, using this time Plato's Allegory of the Cave, you are mad at the silhouettes reflected on the walls of that cave, not at the people whose reflections you see - those people are outside the cave.

Get out of that mental cave, Anon. Stop racking your brains off trying to give definitive answers that cannot be honestly given with the amount of information we have. Stop obsessing about a visibly curated social media presence, online times and all this shit - they mean very little, especially at this point in time. Trust your heart and your intuition. Trust your life experience. Trust yourself, not me. All this side of the fandom can offer you is based on our own life paths and street smarts. Do I think it's legit? Of course, otherwise I'd not be here or I'd be a pervert. Do I think that together we'd be a step closer to what really is? Oh, by all means. But you are the only sovereign master of the course, here. You are the only one able to choose between believing or rejecting, staying on deck or jumping ship.

I chose to be interested in the puppeteers, Anon. The paper trail. The minute intricacies. The boring details Mordor does not want to see or doesn't know how to translate in simple English. That is really what keeps me going and that is something I will never publicly trade. The more I look into it, the clearer the picture is. Oh, for sure, I take great pleasure in seeing and discussing the script inconsistencies - don't we all? But to me and as I see it, this is the tip of the iceberg. The bar I set myself for public happenings, statements and all the shit show is very low. It avoids undue disappointment and even allows me to be relaxed about it. Not always. Not a perfect strategy. But it is my way of managing it and so far, it works.

Take at least a day off Tumblr. Think of it as detox. I can guarantee you will see it way clearer. I wish you well, Anon. And I really hope my long, long answer helped at least a little bit.

[mrsnancywheeler]

im so hyperfixated on your billy dunne fics rn, and i cant stop thinking of him getting back from rehab. and reader is just like "wtf why is he being so normal and acting like he didnt make my life hell for so long". and eventually she asks him how come i didnt get this billy years ago. and she just starts sobbing and doing that punching thing on his chest, idk how to describe just throwing a tantrum i guess. and then billy just grabs her and lets her sob into his chest. he finally starts realizing how much he hurt you over the years, and then i feel like he would show his muse how much he loves her later (smut while he is praising her, only focusing on her pleasure) idk sam claflin is making me go feral today

-🦋

billy dunne brain rot is so real, I need him biblically

but you're used to periods of grace before breakdowns so for the first few months it's good, but then it keeps going. he's not perfect, like he'll still have moods, be tempted by things he knows he can't have, but he abstains, and always apologizes now. so it's odd, you start to feel like you're walking on eggshells so eventually something has got to give, right? so you're getting quieter, scared she'll say something that'll set him off, he'll be a few minutes off from when he said he'd be home and you're getting nervous, asking where he was. one morning you're being all quiet again, serving him breakfast, just a small "good morning"

and he's pulling you into his lap, "what's going on, baby?"

"nothing" and when he's in a mood anything can be the trigger, saying that could've set him off on how nothing's enough for you, opening up could've meant that it was a rant about how it's so much worse for him, but apparently not.

"yes there is." he sneaking a small kiss in, "'m worried about you, tell me what's going on in that head of yours." and she's quiet so eventually he's just sighing, hands playing in the ends of your hair. "what can I do? we can go back to bed if you want? go hit the beach later." and suddenly you're sobbing and he's so confused, but trying to be comforting.

"why are you being like this?"

"being like what, baby?"

"you're being different, stop it!" it feels like you can't breathe, not having the cycle is weird, overwhelming

and he's trying to press if forhead to yours, "I'm getting better, baby, getting better for you, for me, for both of us. it's good, what you deserve-"

you're up off of his lap, "did I not deserve it then? why are you changing now? just be angry!" as calmly as he can he's standing, trying to hold you, to calm you down, but he feels like he could cry because now he can clearly see what he's done to you.

"you did deserve it then, baby, you always deserved so much better, and I am so sorry. the shit I pulled really messed you up, but we're gonna get healthier. you didn't deserve for me to always be mad at you, I'm sorry I confused you." he can feel his eyes burning because it's a lot to confess and he hates it, but you need to hear it.

you just stare for a moment before shaking your head, "no, stop it, billy, just be angry." when he doesn't react you're trying to hit his chest, which takes his off guard but does nothing so after a beat you keep going. "you're angry with me, be angry! I'm disappointing and should leave, be angry! I'm being clingy and intense, I know you're mad at me, be mad!" and eventually he's got his arms wrapped around you so you can't hit and you're just sobbing into his chest as he holds you.

"c'mon baby, just let it all out." eventually he just lifts you up to take you back to bed and lays there cuddling with you until you've completely calmed down.

yes, and later there's totally him between your legs for hours and different apologies for things he's done. reminding her that he really does love her, she's the one no one else, his girl, irreplaceable, loveable.

he's my man and I'm in love with him

[thisisnotthenerd]

and the other half of round two, the sidequests!

feel free to give reasoning/propaganda as you like!

the intrepid heroes poll

quick episode descriptions:

volcano of violence: all of the lotr parallels in one place. leiland being a cringefail after casting circle of death. markus negotiating with an eagle. the combination of grasping web and reverse gravity. balloon elf. sokhbarr raising the lava mog. the concept of galfast hamhead. efink facing her father and husband and beign conflicted

the great chase: caravan chase, mad max style on the teenager's bed. ti wants to blow up the boy. car-go and bean are remarkably effective. boomer is a boarding party. jizz balloons. lots of toy vehicles. car-go transforms with felix inside.

the horizon beyond the squall: marcid attacking a chimney. you wrote a whole song just to be mean to me. cheese, prince bitch. no kings for this captain. nat 20 medicine check to revive myrtle. destroy undead. beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker. bob's inflict wounds. ending with cheese getting a ship and the buccaneer buddies sailing off.

unfinished business: splitting up to resolve the mystery. buckster's legendary nat 20 persuasion to give advantage on stealth. daisy and the vicar sneaking in. sylvester failing at climbing the tower. lars killing the constable and pretending to be a ghost for lucretia. gangie and the vicar undulating. daisy and sylvester simultaneously arriving. shitting out of a window to "provide a cushion". daisy getting her story with sylvester's help. gangie falling into mrs. molesly's room. sylvester almost dying but getting a nat 20 death save with buckster's help. a wedding and bacchanal.

we're the heroes: one of these things is not like the others. collecting the bag of socks. jammer crying about weights. sam and philtrum. dates at the questing beast. the tournament. dream's cinderella moment. where did those mice get lithium. you don't get wet fire. i disavow you. what do you want me to tell your family. he had enough. blast him to the underworld. you can gps a phone. my girl just glinda'd your ass! that's some american magic, bitch! evan and dream lock up tallulah's wand in an orb.

i fucking love you: no one is surprised. incendiary cloud. OSTENTATIA'S DIVINE INTERVENTION ON A 19. god wants a bag from ostentatia. antiope will not submit. penny texts i'm in. nta 20 counterspell on finger of death. nonna wallace approves. katja trips a snake. i didn't even know you could trip a snake. antiope's incredible action surge turn that ends with showing her ass. sam is power word killed. that's my sister. danielle channels anima. revivify. bringing talura through the doorway in death. ending with graduation and 'take us to the book!'.

waylaid by werewolves: the werewolves are girls. zarb mini with six buttholes. chewing gum mist. fifi. shooting through the flamethrower. losing dracula. drago was the star. fifi becomes a werewolf. reading a letter in the middle of battle. florina under the carriage. enraged frenzy. i've heard of a cat scan. i make the horse fly. something seems very familiar about her. the dog is my wife! izzy holds with disappointment. a monster has been eating my letters to you.

duel on the southern lawn: rumor phase. rue writes the letter and commands wuvvy to burn it. i drank tea and went to bed. letter to wrackingspelt. rue's assistant. hob getting clocked by rue. wuvvy demanding satisfaction. andhera demanding satisfaction. wet wrestling. this is the biggest stretch of a fuckin' lifetime. nat 20 to be a slippy boy. hoisting andhera up by his taut cotton pants. accepting the hand of friendship.

yonder where the fruit do be lyin': quichei. deli's perception roll. raphaniel as a youth pastor. giant radish head. colin is covered in blue. extremely realistic fake orange. rick perry, you dog. silence. queen's losing it. raphaniel gets the orange down. banana boat guy. come on provolone! deli attacks queen pamela rocks. subtle spell shatter in the carriage. brennan kills pamela rocks again. you died for nothing. chasing and murdering the mushroom guy.

in the heart of death: brennan walks jujubee through an optimized turn. 49 damage immediately. troyánn slips. keekee starts falling. scorching ray. the devil works hard, but d20 works harder. buddy bear shoves zaria into the pit. lightning javelin in the titty. fireball. princess does like 70 damage and pushed kerwyn into the abyss. troyánn goes down. princess gets keena. nat 20 counterspell. twyla crits on morgan to end the battle.

case closed: the party converges on oblongata station once more. they're facing down the don and madam loathing, who can turn them against each other. imelda and dan flash the gangsters to wildly differing results. ivana rolls a 59 on hunch and he still comes back. elias punches his boss. dan goes down. the fix eats the key. conrad rolls a 57 [the number of heinz varieties] to bring down madam loathing. elias steals a birthday cake and runs out into the street, gets a date and reconciles his childhood trauma as he goes into witness protection.

evolution & revolution: warning the populace. pitching scam calls. driving the truck. phoebe is jaegering dr. wenabocker in a very gross maxi. the ground collapses. revenants are charmed. viola is very efficient. thorn calls lightning. tula attacks her son for 67 damage. ava attacks the groun for 109 damage and a long rest. jaysohn gets phoebe. lila fireballs. viola crits twice and kills one guy with paladin/fighter shenanigans and then kills the rest by kicking the trigger of a gun and hitting a gas tank. tula heals jaysohn, lukas, and herself a little bit. battle is over in 1.33 rounds.

[according2thelore]

i love the es/ls verse SO MUCCCHHHH!!! sam’s self-hatred towards his younger self in that last one is just - mwah! chef’s kiss! he’s so jealous of him and he also believes that that kid doesn’t deserve dean!! meanwhile younger sam hates older sam for what he’s become, but he’s jealous, too. ah!! amazing!

and dean not understanding and getting angry with sam’s self hatred is so wonderful. it’s like one if their key issues, but now it’s not a theoretical issue, it’s A Guy. and his name is 23y/o Sam Winchester.

you’re sooo amazing. love this so much. would love to see more if you’ve got it - the deans not understanding the sams’ negative feelings towards each other, and getting protective over it

hello, anon!

you get it: "it’s like one if their key issues, but now it’s not a theoretical issue, it’s A Guy. and his name is 23y/o Sam Winchester." HAHAHAHA you nailed it!

thank you so much!!! that means a lot--mwah mwah! <3

i always have more of it, lol!

~~~

"hey."

sam looks up sharply, startled. dean--his dean, young dean--is standing in the doorway of their shared bedroom in the bunker. his arms are crossed, and he looks peeved. he leans against the doorway, and he crosses his ankles in a practiced show of nonchalance.

"you don't need to talk to him like that." dean says, jaw ticking. sam snorts derisively, turning back around. he continues folding the shirt in his hand, and smacks it to his bed with enough force that it comes unfolded again.

sam doesn't reach for it again, just grabbing another.

"yeah. great. thanks dean." sam says. he's exhausted. anger--his old friend--rises up in him, but he can't even be bothered to put the energy in to stoke it.

after he confronted older sam in the kitchen, older dean's words pierced deep. i'm disappointed in you. sam feels like a chastened child. he is, in a way.

"what's that supposed to mean?" dean asks, stepping into the room. sam can feel him get closer. hates it. he folds his shirt faster, and doesn't look up at him.

"you took his side. i knew you would." sam spits the words like the poison they are. of course dean would pick the sam that doesn't fight with him, that doesn't want anything else.

dean stops, somewhere behind him, and sam hates that he can feel his brother without seeing him--a skill he had gotten on his knees and thanked god for when he was younger.

"okay what's with this--" dean fumbles for words. "this 'side' thing? it's just one side."

"no." sam finally whirls on him, dropping the shirt onto the bed. "it's not."

"sam." dean's brow is furrowed, and his voice is firm. "you need to back off. he's trying. he's been super cool with us staying here and--"

sam scoffs.

"spare me your hard-on." he spits. dean's eyebrows raise, and heat starts spotting his cheeks. sam wants to take him to the ground, until the reason dean's cheeks are pink are sam's hands, sam.

"that! what the fuck is that? back off!" dean shouts, and his hands ball at his sides. he doesn't deny it.

"back off? back off?" sam is incandescent with rage, his earlier apathy lighting aflame like dry tinder. "am i suddenly an asshole for not wanting to be here? for wanting to get home? i though that's what we wanted."

"it is--you know it is!"

"do i? do i fucking really?" sam gets in dean's face, shoves him back a step. "you're practically salivating whenever he walks into a room, you take his side in everything, you act like he's mother fucking teresa--"

dean's cheeks keep rising in colour, but his face is drawn into a furious scowl. he shoves sam back. sam's skin screams, buzzes, where dean touches it.

"he's you!"

"no, he's not!" sam shoves him back.

"sam." dean looks at him like he's crazy. sam feels like he is crazy, that this whole thing has driven him completely mad. "he is. he literally is. you're dogging on my little brother."

sam blinks hard, trying to fight off the sudden, blinding bite of tears.

"fuck you." sam spits. fuck dean for saying that like it's nothing. for claiming him like it's nothing. my little brother. dean only has one little brother.

"i'm--" sam starts, but cuts himself off because his voice is humiliatingly high. dean's face changes, irritation slipping into incredulity. sam wants him to stop thinking immediately. "stop that."

"are you--" dean's face splits into a grin.

"shut up, i swear to god--" sam begs, sitting down on his bed heavily and covering his eyes with his hands.

"you're jealous! or something! you're weird!" dean crows, and sam pitches to the side as dean's weight slams down onto the bed next to him.

sam moves his hands. dean is sitting on the side of his bed, tilted towards him and looking down at him. sam scowls.

he knows their MO is mockery and sarcasm, but for one fucking second, he just wants his brother to take him seriously. to take his side.

"i will take you down." sam threatens lowly, and throws an arm over his face. he waits for a beat, hoping dean will go away.

"sam." dean's voice is disappointingly close. "sammy, look at me."

sam is so shocked that dean has given him his name back that he moves his arm away. he sits up on his elbows. dean looks surprisingly somber, as he says:

"i'm not built to look at people be mean to 'sam.'" dean puts air quotes around his name. sam snorts, but dean just raises his eyebrows. "i'm not. i am hardwired to want to fuck up sammy's bullies. kinda my whole thing."

he's smiling a little at the end. sam softens. just a bit. he's not used to dean wanting to protect other people. he's not used to becoming a second priority in dean's life, in dean choosing a third party over sam's opinion, not since dad died.

"are you...are you calling me a bully?" sam asks, half-amused, half-irritated. dean rolls his eyes, but looks frustrated, like he can't even tell what he means.

"i'm saying. i...don't know. i'm kinda...protective over the guy. he's a sammy." dean shrugs. sam tilts his head, thinking.

"so you're saying if i get him to be a dick to me, you'll suplex him over a table?"

"oh yeah. i'll get a stepladder to reach him and everything." dean assures. sam snorts.

they sit in silence for a second, dean looking down at sam's face, and sam looking up at the ceiling, to give dean the chance to look. in a few minutes, it'll be sam's turn to look at dean while dean looks away.

a thought occurs to sam, though, and he looks over. dean obediently looks away, though there's a frown tugging at the edge of his lip, like he's annoyed his time was cut short.

"i'm not promising anything until you promise to be nice to big dean." sam says, and dean makes a disapproving, alarmed noise. he looks back at sam, eyes wide.

"that old fart? that's totally different. he's a dick. sammy's actually great and brilliant and nice and huge, so." dean tilts his chin up, like he's made a point. sam's chest seizes briefly around the impression of something--unused to and displeased with hearing dean praise someone else like this.

"hey!" sam says sharply, holding up an accusing finger. "dean's not that bad."

"hypocrite." "hypocrite." they say at once, dean's lower tone layering underneath sam's.

they blink at each other.

and--for the first time in too damn long--two brothers dissolve in, frankly, giggles. sam slumps forward into dean's arm, and dean scrubs a hand through his hair.

~~~

"he's trying his best." dean mutters into sammy's bare shoulder. sammy closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of dean's chapped lip on his skin.

their younger selves were probably hashing it out, too, a wing away.

sammy turns around in dean's arms, and sam nudges his way under dean's chin. dean lifts his head obediently, and sam exhales against dean's bare chest. he wishes he were still small enough to fit here completely.

even his younger self couldn't do this, anymore.

"i know." sam says, finally. he doesn't have to ask "i think...i think i hate him."

dean's arms seize around sam's shoulders.

"no, you don't. he's a kid. a baby."

my kid. my baby. dean's words don't say. sam hears them. he hates them. that's why he hates this kid. among many reasons. he's so blindly arrogant, so violent, so harsh. so fucking prideful. head full of his own words and heart full of fire. and dean looks at him like he looks at sammy.

"no, i don't." sammy acquiesces. and he doesn't. "resent" is probably a better word.

dean reads his silences so well that he starts petting through sam's hair. it should feel infantilizing, but it doesn't. sam sighs. he's an adult. and in a second, he'll pull away and deal with this like a regular person.

"do you miss him?" sam asks, after a long pause. him. sam. the sam i used to be. the sam that sits a dozen rooms over, talking to his own brother.

"i'll always miss you." dean says. "all versions of my pain in the ass are my pains in the ass."

sam snorts, but it's half-hearted, quiet.

there are worse things, sam supposes, than being loved to the point of absurdity. to the point of forgiveness. to the point of dean loving all versions of him, all the time.

"as long as i'm your favourite." sam murmurs. dean noses along his hairline, breathes deep in sam's hair. sammy knows dean isn't good at saying it out loud. but the soft lips at his temple are answer enough for him. dean's horrifyingly sappy when he's quiet.

you're always my favourite.

~~~

thank you for your patience, anon! i hope you enjoyed!!!! life kinda came at me w a baseball bat, so i'm sorry it took so long to respond! i hope you see this :)

-lizzy

[prettypinkporkchop]

Can you please do a Paul x reader where she is trying to make Paul really jealous by flirting with embry or Jared

You set down the tiny shovel and place the seeds in the small hole. You covered it up before a voice calls out to you.

"Y/n! I need you!" It's Emily inside her house.

"Coming!" You yell back and stand up from the grass. You look at the flowers Emily got you to plant on the side of her house. You're satisfied with your work, hoping they live a long life.

You walk inside and see Jared and Embry sitting at the table laughing.

Emily is standing at the end of the table, looking disappointed in the boys.

"What's happening?" You chuckle awkwardly.

"These dumbasses made a bet. How Paul would react if you flirted with one of them." Emily sighs.

You face both of them with a raised eyebrow. "What the fuck? Why?" You laugh.

"Because it's funny." Embry says.

"I say, dude phases." Jared bets.

"No, no! Y/n controls his anger the best. I think he gets to swinging." Embry says. "20 bucks if I'm right."

"Whatever, Call." Jared says.

"Do I get a damn say?" You laugh and place your hand on your hip.

They both nod their heads. "Don't worry, you don't gotta do it. Mostly just a thought." He says to you. "I know if Kim were to flirt with your ugly ass, I'd rip your neck off." Jared points at Embry.

Embry rolls his eyes and then turns to you. "You down?" He asks.

"This isn't a good idea." Emily says.

You think for a moment. You've never seen Paul mad. It would kind of be funny. Maybe.

"Fine. Embry, you're the victim. I don't want to hurt Kim." You say.

And just on time, Sam and Paul step inside. You think fast and stand next to Embry, brushing through his hair. "Your hair is so soft." You gush.

Embry sits there awkwardly, not sure what to do. "Thanks. That feels nice." He sighs.

"Alright. Enough." Paul says, grabbing you and kissing you roughly. You kiss him back but pull away fast. Paul scoffs at the short kiss.

Emily whispers in Sam's ear, and he chuckles. That catches Paul's attention. "What?" He asks.

Sam shakes his head as a response.

You stand behind Embry and rest your hands on his bare shoulders. "Damn, you're so buff." You say.

Embry lifts his head and smiles up at you, winking.

"Oh, fuck no." Paul grabs your arm and pulls you into him. "Embry. Get. Your. Ass. Outside. Now." He growls.

You pull yourself out of his arm. Embry stands up and you stand next to him, leaning your head on his arm.

Paul begins to shake. He reaches for Embry and pulls him outside. "Hey! Hey! It's a prank! It's a joke! We're all in on it!" You hear Embry call out.

Everyone rushes out onto the porch. Sam is laughing, watching closely. Now, you're starting to feel bad.

Paul phases and growls at Embry. Embry phases and then cowers down to let him know he means no harm.

Jared laughs and claps his hands. "Embry's giving me 20 bucks."

Paul starts fighting Embry. Embry isn't causing any harm, just pushing him off of him. Then, Paul runs off into the woods. Embry faces you guys, huffs, and runs off, too.

After all of that, you and Paul are walking inside of your home. Before you can do anything, he roughly grabs your ass and then pushes your stomach against the wall. Your face is pressed up against it. He moves one hand up and wraps his fingers around your throat. He pulls your head back to whisper in your ear. "Don't you ever pull that shit again." He growls.

He forcefully turns you around so your back is against the wall. He lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around him. He kisses you roughly. He's biting. His tongue is forceful. Your hands reach his shoulders and you slightly dig your nails in his skin.

He throws his head back and then smirks. "Bed. Ass up. Don't speak." He warns.

YUH YUH! THANKS!

[ultimate-shipper-trash-blog]

Substitute Teacher Steve Au

Delilah felt nervous. She ran into her little brother Paul in the hall because neither of them were looking in the correct direction...too nervous.

She hurried into her English class and grabbed her seat. The class's energy was off the charts. Everyone was chatting and gossiping.

"-sub! Can you believe THE St-"

"I just don't understand? Arent they fam-"

Uh oh. She thinks she understands now and pulls out her flip phone to type out a quick text to Paul to warn him. It's too late. He already texted her first.

"Code purple"

"Fuck."

"Language B!"

"Shit."

He laughs as he walks into the classroom. Someone slaps her shoulder as if they're trying to tell her "Hey! He looked in your direction!!!!"

Sitting on her teacher's desk is retired pop icon Steve Harrington. He lights up when he sees her looking at him and waves to her. He's waving so fast his hand is a blur.

"Del what the hell is happening?" Mandy, her best friend is looking at her expectantly.

"I-"

"Ok class! Attendance time!!"

'Adams'

'Andrews'

'Chase'

'Finch'

"Henderson!"

"..."

"C'mom B," he looks at her disappointed.

"Here," she grumbles.

A girl in the back raises her hand.

"Can this wait until after the attendance is taken?"

"Unfortunately not Mr. Harrington I just have to know, how do you know Delilah? Why do you call her B? I mean out of everyone we were not expecting you to be here for her." She says the last part kind of like a sneer.

Delilah knew she wasn't the most popular but she made a choice to stay out of the spotlight.

"Well...student-"

"Sam."

"Sam, I'm not here for Delilah."

Gasps went around the room.

"I'm also here for Paul!" His famous bright smile is shining bright. "He's getting his braces off today! Isn't that exciting! Gosh I remember when his dad got his off. Brings a tear to my eye."

Delilah sinks lower into her seat.

"As for the nickname-"

She shoots up, ramrod straight.

"Um Uncle Steve you don't really have to-"

"Now B it's nothing to be embarrassed about. When Del's mom was pregnant with Paul we told her that she wouldn't be the baby anymore. She was so frustrated that was the only name she responded to for six months!"

Sam pipes up again, "so B is short for-"

"Baby." Snickers went around the room. Delilah groans. "Obviously we couldn't go around calling her baby that's weird. So we shortened it, nickname. It also helps because she's baby Henderson, helps to distinguish the difference between them all."

Steve gives her a soft smile, like he's still imagining her as a toddler.

"As most of you may know I retired about five years ago along with my boyfriend." (Gay marriage was not legal yet but she's working on it.)

Josh's hand shoots up. "Your boyfriend famous metal musician Eddie Munson?"

"Yes student in the back, we decided it was time to retire and enjoy our time together. Then I got bored. I was always planning on being a teacher if music didn't work out so I became a sub. We have a house here to see the kids and I knew I wanted my first assignment to be one where I could see my favorite Hendersons."

Ok she can't be mad at him. She loves him so much and he obviously is just doing what he can to be closer to her.

"Uncle Steve-"

Uncle is whispered around the room.

"I appreciate you coming here but-"

"Henderson I'd appreciate it if you stayed after school to help me grade papers. I can give you a ride home. Uncle Eds is taking Paul to the orthodontist now so you don't have to worry about driving him."

Conveniently, beeping was heard outside along with the sound of a motor like an engine revving. The students all ran to the window to see what was going on and were shown Paul with his head down running to the convertible.

Poor kid. Everyone would be talking about this for at least a week.

Paul looked over at the window along with Eddie, when he saw Steve he blew him a kiss. As soon as Paul was buckled up he sped off.

Steve sighed wistfully and then headed back to the desk.

"Alright everyone! Let's learn!"

[ghoastixx]

What about Dad!Dean or Dad!Sam with a kid who regularly sneaks out to spray paint things but one night they get caught?

Dad! Dean & Sam (Separate) w/ rebel kid

synopsis above

Notes: What's better than one person request...Two! Thank you for the request...also, damn, you Winchester kids are BRATS. Sneaking in beers..sneaking out..vandalism.. I'm living for it you bastards.

Author's note: Gender neutral reader above the age of 14. I hope you don't mind that I mostly made this head cannons. It was easier since I wrote both.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean Winchester

He's upset when he finds out.

Not as upset about the vandalism, more about you sneaking out.

how can he protect you if he doesn't know where you are??

He never really had to "Sneak out" as a kid since John was basically never there so he doesn't totally understand why you did it.

He's mad, yes, but he at least wants to know if it was worth it.

When he finds out this is a regular thing, he doesn't get angrier, it just stays the same.

he's pissed and doesn't want you sneaking out anymore.

If you want to leave after dark, make sure you let him know where you are going.

You're grounded, but as long as you're home before 12 and now check in regularly, it's whatever to him.

Sam Winchester

Oh my god, he's livid. Bless your soul.

If he had to come pick you up, you're not talking the entire ride home. Heaven forbid you were with a group of people. "Y/N Winchester, in the car. Now."

If he was waiting up for you? He's definitely sitting in your dark room as he watches you sneak back in. When you turn the light on he's just there. Exhausted and Seething. "I will deal with you in the morning."

When he finds out you're sneaking out to spray paint things?? You best pray its not something offensive, because if he finds out, he will be taking your ass to paint over it.

You're so grounded for a long while.

He doesn't understand, to him this is just stupid teenage rebellious stuff he never took part in and doesn't get for the life of him.

He will occasionally pop into your room every once and a while to make sure you haven't snuck out.

he really is worried, but mostly just disappointed. Like that one episode where he scolds castiel for saying hell. (I haven't seen the episode yet, just clips, or else I would've titled it.)

[acklestarkism]

SUPERNATURAL FINALE : an honest, maybe sometimes controversial, take on tv's biggest disappointment of this decade.

DISCLAIMER : in this essay, i will give my opinion about 15x20 of the silly long-running show Supernatural (no kidding???) and i stand by the fact that i hate it, BUT i am not just going to trash talk my comfort show the entire time, and will try to bring into light the things that actually worked (ahem, yes, i will try to find some...) in this episode. i don't need any attacks on my opinion, you can disagree with the things i am going to say, but let's stay civil, right ? hope you enjoy it !

let's face it, no need to beat around the bush : Dean's death is THE worst thing that could've ever happened to us. 15 years of adoring, worshiping THE best character ever created on tv just for losing him ?? this way ?? feels (sorry but...) fucking disrepectful to me. and listen, i haven't seen that cursed episode again in six months, so don't mind me if my blurry memories are failing me... it still makes me so mad, that the episode starts on OUR beloved hero living a peaceful life, happy, kind of, finally free from god's (yeah, more like chuck) who's been through literal hell, faced a hundred deaths, just to end up on that stupid rebar. fuckin stupid quick, meaningless death of a HERO. i can't even think straight when it comes to this but what makes it EVEN WORST is the freakin comedic part of this episode. the pie in the face ??? when THE Dean Winchester is about to die ??? or Sam's fuckin hideous wig ??? the episode focuses on some POINTLESS hunt involving a fuckin vampire literally no soul remembered from season 1 (if you did remember without even looking it up and just happen to have this knowledge, i am sorry AND really impressed) ?? are you just kidding ?? your main character dies, and you just make it absolutely no big of a deal ? i could not. disrespectful, once again.

Dean isn't even the only one who's been failed on this finale because the same disrespect is put on Sam. i'm not bringing back the wig again (BUT THE WIG THO ??? i know the budget is low with covid and everything but come on ??) but the blurry wife is the icing on the cake. but where they failed Sam the most is the way in 15 years (okay this is not only finale related but i thought it deserved to be brought into light) they never EVER gave the man a real closure with Jess. they literally bring every character back from the dead, or at least give the boys an opportunity to say goodbye at some point but they never even cared giving Sam a proper closure from the most important relationship in his life. this, pals, makes me insanely angry. but at least, Sam gets to live and have an ordinary life until his last breathe.

Castiel isn't even really mentioned again ?? i mean, no need for a long thesis about this shame but he's been a fan favorite for YEARS and they just ???

i reached the part where i have to list the things that worked for me in this cursed episode. well. it gave us Dean x Miracle ? the man deserved to have a dog. and it was one of the cutest thing they ever did on this show. Miracle is somehow Dean's little sparkle of joy and hope after losing Cas. kudos (somehow, in a way, i don't know) to Dean's last speech to Sam, and their heartbreaking exchange. it really moved me, and made sense, it was in character. Dean dying on his feet was also appreciated (and those kudos go to Jensen, thank you buddy) but i will explain why in the next paragraph. anyway, i don't have anything more to add, and trust me i tried really hard!! oh, the photography was also decent, but it's one thing Supernatural always did well, so... not surprising.

i am NOT a supporter of Dean dying in the finale, and i am thankful to the wonderful talented writer in this fandom for their amazing fix-it fictions on the finale. this ground is covered, so i am leaving you with ao3 for all the ways the show could have ended WITHOUT Dean dying. my man deserved to be happy and free ans well. i am going to cover the ground of THE WRITERS REALLY WANT DEAN DYING. fine. i don't agree, but you do you baby. 15 years of the show, Dean Winchester was depicted as a HERO. the fanbase has been dedicated for FIFTEEN FUCKIN YEARS and being myself a 2006 Supernatural fan, this finale made me feel like it was a total loss of time. as i said before, i WORSHIPPED (and i still do) this character like i've never worshipped any other character. what he (and we) deserved for always sacrificing his own happiness and life was to die the hero he's always been. to die, i don't know, saving Sam one last time ? with a show with great biblical implication, didn't he deserve a great biblical tragedy ending ? something huge, epic ? and i know this could be controversial because they are no longer under the influence of god himself, but he could have been paralleled to Jesus somehow, just joining heaven next to Jack and Cas as his mission on earth was over. i don't know. just thinking about things.

what could've also been great would have been Dean's life flashing before his eyes as he was dying. glimpse of unseen good moments, memories, as a tribute to the character. once again, he deserved no less than to be praised for everything he did for his family, and for the world.

anyway. revival is now a thing all over social medias and it could both heal us, or destroy us. it raised a lot of concerns, the most important being will Cas' confession finally be aknowledge ? i sure hope it will for misha's perfect delivery of it, and his fight to allow his character to be himself fully. but i also hope this revival finds a way to "cancel" the mistake the writers made with this finally. it could make sense. it could be yet another illusion, trick, anything really and they could (just like us) pretend it never happened (spoiler alert : it really never happened) and i don't want my hopes too high. but it's possible.

thank you so much for your attention. i wanted to write an essay about the finale but i feel like i've been here and there talking nonsense. i've never really expressed my disappointment before, as it was something really personal to me, but i am glad i finally did. there could have been so much more things said. or said in a better way, but i tried my best :(

love y'all, spn family <3