#school stinks kids rule

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

the real og childhood crush

[timmydraker]

Tim vapes.

To his friends, namely the ones at school and not so much in Young Justice, this ain’t anything surprising. It’s popular for his age group and given how he has various roles in life that cause anxiety and his poorly concealed PTSD from being Red Robin, it makes sense he’d turn to something for comfort.

That comfort just happens to be an addiction to the ‘cancer usb’s his brother Dick once went on a two hour rant about.

Jason once got grounded and forced to watch a PowerPoint video made by Dick and Bruce after he was caught with a cigarette while still Robin. Jason still kept up the bad habits, but he normally turned to a drink or smoke when things were really bad. It was both recreational and a treat that he only had a few times a year, or month in the case of alcohol.

Tim doesn’t take breaks unless he’s on patrol.

It started when he was thirteen and was so tired from starting work with Wayne Enterprise and Robin that he didn’t give his usual response to his friends offer of a hit.

The passion fruit guava flavour settled easily in his chest, most likely due to how he had a lot of self control with his body. He coughed a storm afterwards but quickly found himself coming back for a hit or two during school breaks.

It only took a month for him to buy his first one after some research. He bought the least damaging one for his body even if he knew that lessening such damage didn’t fully remove it.

He started with grape.

Then once that died, he bought sour apple.

Then fairyfloss.

Then strawberry mango.

Then birthday cake, which he genuinely didn’t think could be real but alas.

It took almost four years for anyone in his family to notice and by pure luck it was his actual father who would end up dying a few months later. Tim remembers how guilty he felt when he realised his father would no longer be yelling at him for his ‘fruity fucking stink’ and that such a thing gave him genuine relief. He shouldn’t want his dad to be dead, yet…

It was then Tim realised that maybe he should try slow down his usage, and challenged himself to go a whole hour before a hit, then two and then finally three before he decided that would be enough for a while.

It’s on a particularly bad patrol when he saw a kid get hurt and wasn’t in time to save her from some likely permanent damage that he forwent his rule of vaping in the suit and took several hits while against a wall in his Red Robin attire.

He was just stating to feel the calm fully settle in his bones as his last puff of sour rainbow exited his lunged when he heard a voice just a few feet away.

“How dare you disgrace the name of Robin with that filth!”

Tim jumps up immediately but no training would prepare him for how quickly Damian comes over and snatches the vape from his hand.

Damian is gone quicker than he can get himself together and he only just managed to shout and run after him with his growing panic.

Tim watches his youngest brother vanish from sight and knows he’s doomed.

When he gets back to the cave a few hours later after trying to hide away from his problems, he’s finished his second vape (star fruit grape) from pure stress.

He’s met with the entire family sans Jason giving him the most disappointed and concerned look he’s seen since he confessed he lost his spleen and didn’t tell anyone.

Damian won’t meet his eye but even then Tim can tell from years of studying his younger that even Damian feels a little guilty for outing him, but as Dick looks close to tears with how upset he is the others resolve clearly strengthens.

Tim doesn’t blame him, even if he’s mentally going over all the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal.

[violetdaphne]

percabeth tv show-verse headcanons because middle school me is frothing at the mouth at her fav book series being adapted

when it comes time for offerings, percy does not move. he doesn't move a goddamn muscle, staying put at the poseidon table because, sure, his dad helped him during the quest but that doesn't mean he can forget so easily the shadow that came over luke's face when the older demigod explained how the gods expect their children to burn their own food just for a sliver of attention so percy chooses to just. not move. he sits and eats and ignores the curious glances he gets from other campers when its their turn. so no, he doesn't offer anything to his dad or any other god, even when Mr. D gives him the stink eye but what he does do is spot the glaring mission portion on annabeth's plate from her scraping off her own offering (she sits with him now, at the poseidon table breaking many rules about sitting with your own cabin because she can't stand seeing percy all alone, and, well, he's actually kind of fun to hang around for a seaweed brain), he sees the gaps on her plate and instead of offering anything to his dad he offers his own food to her, insisting when she protests and scoping a portion of his own meal onto her plate the moment he has an opening because he doesn't want her going hungry, not because of athena. it feels a little bit like blasphemy but also achingly devotional so he hides his grin behind a proud smirk and says no take-backies while she just raises her brows amusedly.

percy has developed a scary, uncanny habit that freaks out grover and other campers of being able to tell exactly where annabeth is even when she's wearing the invisibility cap. whether it be during capture the flag, sword training, climbing the lava wall, or just meandering about camp to avoid clarisse, percy just has a sort of annabeth-sense and can point with near complete accuracy where she stands when completely invisible to the naked eye. it becomes a camp favorite spectacle to watch them during games and training, fighting back to back, or against each other, and just how swiftly they move, even when percy can't see his partner. he's not sure how or why he is able to know where she is, but secretly loves how he is the only one able to pick her out in a crowd. percy jokes he has his very own spidey-sense geared toward annabeth but she stares at him blankly, the reference going over her head and he just mentally adds it to the very long list of movies he needs to show her. (he does end up, eventually, showing her spiderman but ends up shutting it off quickly when the sight of the spider biting peter parker send her spiraling)

sometimes, when her cabin is just too loud and her bunkmates are too rambunctious and the noise pulses in her ears and she just wants some peace and fucking quiet for once annabeth will slip her cap on and sneak away from her siblings and most often ends up outside the poseidon cabin, asking percy shyly if he minds if she hides out here for a bit because everywhere else is too loud and too much. she doesn't even get to finish her sentence before percy ushers her in and says she's welcome in his cabin anytime. it suprises her, an athena kid, how much she ends up liking the tranquility and ocean-air scent of the poseidon cabin. there's only a few bunks compared to the many that line the walls of her own cabin, so percy lets her chose one (she chooses the one closest to his own and decidedly doesn't think about what it means) and she finally gets some quiet time for her to read or work on blueprints or whatever else she wants to do. sometimes percy is there, sitting idly with his own craft or book to keep him occupied, and annabeth finds she quite likes these times where she and him can just sit together in a contented peace. it becomes common knowledge at camp that when one can't find annabeth the best place to look is the poseidon cabin, and when that doesn't work just find percy because the two are quickly becoming attached at the hip, much to grover's delighted annoyance.

speaking of grover, he gets first row seats to the developing friendship between the two and he knows, knows that this is it. this right in front of him, the bickering and arguing that can flip to deep understanding and compassion at the flick of a hat is fucking endgame, or the closest to it at just 12 years old. he watches how they work together during capture the flag, so scarily in tune that they are able to more than once outsmart clarisse and the other team. he watches percy practice controlling his powers and water abilities at the shoreline of camp, annabeth just feet away and watching in a poorly hidden awe as he moves the tide and waves with a flick of his wrist. he watches them sneak around after curfew because annabeth wanted to show percy the constellations and the best time to see them is in the dead of night so they brave the harpies and Mr. D's wrath to lay out on the pier of camp to see the stars. he watches them on the quest when annabeth insists he is alive after the arch, watches them hug like he isn't standing right there and the relief is palpable, and he just. knows. its so obvious and he loves to claim, years later, that he knew first.

the ocean and water and all its inhabitants are all extensions of percy, right? they're all in poseidon's, and therefore percy's domain so its only natural for them follow in his lead when he's around. therefore, its only natural for the water and it's grace to treat annabeth with the same respect it treats their demigod. percy makes sure of it, if inadvertently, chiding the tide to be careful and warning the waves to not chill her. and the kicker? he doesn't even realize he's doing it until annabeth mentions offhand that the water during her canoe lesson at camp was particularly and oddly calm when everyone else's was rough and choppy. he blushes so bad she offers to take him to the infirmary, which evidently only makes him flush harder.

poseidon realizes it too, of course, the ocean is primarily his domain and he knows well what's going on in every inch of it, so he senses immediately how percy is growing into his powers, exercising his control over the sea and growing more powerful day by day, and how it all seems to center around a certain athena kid. he rubs it in athena's face, the growing friendship between their kids, but find himself getting really quiet when she sends her owl after his eyes.

luke calls them an old married couple and they hate how right he is, and how they keep accidently proving him right. they argue over the littlest of things; the best type of jam to put on toast at breakfast, the pronunciation of greek words and monsters, the best way for percy to take care of his curls, anything and everything they will find something to bicker over until grover or whoever is with them just stares until the argument peters out and they move on to the next subject without missing a beat, leaving whoever their unfortunate third wheel is feeling very adrift.

[powderblueblood]

everything looks better on me (especially you)

eddie's missing something and lacy gets a new accessory. (825) cw: fluff the house down, thank GOD these two get to be CUTE for once in their stinking lives. happy valentines day palentines part of the hellfire & ice universe

that looks familiar.

the note bounces over your shoulder, landing in a crumpled little ball for you to unravel on your desk. first period. monday. history with kaminsky, enforcing tyrannical rule by reading about the ottoman empire at an excruciating pace. the morning is passing at it's usual torturous tick, only helped by the warm reassurance of eddie, sat in place behind you.

you make sure to shake your stupid hair all over his desk as you pass back your reply.

oh, this old thing? you like it?

eddie holds his breath as he watches you slide the slip of paper by your ear for him to snatch, fixated on the flow of your neck to your shoulder. said flow, which he so frequently admires, is now obscured. a wrap of fabric around your neck that he knows well. real well. super well. part of the uniform well.

you'd thought it'd be a cute look--a coquettish little necktie element to set off your otherwise rote skirt-and-satin blouse set. a nod to sexy librarians, contrarians, know-it-alls with edge-- oh, okay, fine. who are you fucking kidding. you wore it around your neck because you knew it'd make eddie's dick twitch from a thousand yard reach.

you knew it'd make him go all doe eyed and grin stupid and maybe even make him do that thing where he hides behind his hair. you love that. it makes your heart flip like a speed freak olympian. makes you want to shove him to the ground and make out with him until he suffocates.

you knew it'd be a statement, too. i'm intentional about every single thing i've ever put on my body. i want you. i want this.

you reach up and wind the end of eddie's bandana around your little finger.

you think you hear his breath hitch. (you totally do.)

you look really pretty.

eddie catches you off guard, y'know. with his earnestness. with how hard he means things.

really pretty.

he'd left his bandana on your bedroom floor the night he stole away out your window. remember? "i'm coming back for you, lacy doevski?" all that? well, you'd found it after getting third-degree cross examined by your father and lay awake with it held close to your face. it'd gotten caught on a pin or something and tore, so you darned it back together with your limited sewing skills. you didn't want to give it back right away--it's such a part of the eddie munson ensemble that it made you feel like you had a real piece of him with you, 'til you could see him again. which was only 48 goddamned hours, but let's slice off a little slack here.

and so came this morning. and you wound it under your collar, tying a windsor knot.

you feel him lean in a little closer to tuck the note next to your shoulder.

really REALLY PRETTY.

pretty enough to meet me in the bathroom? you write, tossing it back to him with a stretch. you don't wait for an answer as the bell trills.

moments later, eddie has you pinned against the wall of that bombed out boy's bathroom (say thank you lack of school funding!), pressing his lush, pink lips to the line of your jaw.

he makes your whole body feel as tingly as tv static.

eddie's forehead finds yours and you don't have anything in you but to sigh and smile, just a breath away from his mouth.

"hello," you say, watching the sparkle in his dark eyes.

"hi," eddie mumbles, grinning away. he brushes a knuckle down the side of your face. "pretty. pretty. you're so pretty, lace."

god, even the way he says it knocks you clean out. pritty. like there's some tennessee twang still left in the highest reaches of his voice.

your lashes flutter. you're lightheaded and girlish and you can't for the life of you stop smiling.

eddie's smile breaks into a little laugh, breath brushing against your nose.

"what's so funny?"

"you like something i wear," he croons, fingers brushing the knot of the bandana, settled beneath your collarbone. "you like me."

"so what if i do?"

"you like me. i melted you."

"i wouldn't call this melting," you chuckle softly, but your eyelids drop and chin tilts back as eddie brings his mouth to your neck. "this is defrosting at best."

"you tryin' to say you want it... wetter?"

"shut up, eddie."

"i could get you so soaked with this wit alone..."

a delicate snort. "ladies and gentlemen, the friars club presents..."

"mm, you lost me."

"i'll tell ya later."

his hands travel all over your body, groping you with a sweetness driven by desire. eddie is all want when it comes to you; wants to touch you, talk to you, listen to you, lay with you. bug the shit out of you.

and you want him too, is the thing. it's reciprocal. you're wearing it right around your neck.

you could both die happy before fourth period.

[saltygilmores]

Fr Lorelai's parenting was so questionable sometimes and not just because of the advice but in general:

1) she let her teenage daughter consume so much caffeine and was even proud of it

2) she let her drive underage and get into an accident (the deer)

3) when Rory came late to the exam and wasn't allowed to take it, Lorelai made a scene and demanded that her daughter be the exemption to the rules because she is so smart and special

4) went on to date Rory's English teacher like that won't leave a mark on the kid

5) pretends to be such a "cool mom" that's not afraid to talk about sex with her daughter except she isn't. The only time birth control is brought up it's a punishment for staying out late with her boyfriend. Which she proceeds to treat her coldly and distantly over for the next week, as if she had never pulled anything like this when she was Rory's age. Like if you're genuinely that worried that she will have sex just ask her?? Take her to the gynecologist? Once she does tell her she may be ready to have sex, Lorelai hangs her head in sadness and acts like she's at a funeral.

6) as you keep pointing out, she is waaay too involved in Rory's relationships and drama and makes it very clear which boyfriend she prefers. Pushes Rory to stay with her boyfriend when she is already unhappy with her relationship, because Lorelai knows that their relationship is so tame she doesn't have to worry about her getting pregnant. She would rather Rory be in a sexless unhappy relationship than a happy one that potentially involves sex.

7) lets Rory drive a car that her 16-year-old boyfriend with no qualifications built from scratch.

8) get ridiculously overprotective (I broke my arm at 4 and no one slept in the room with me to my knowledge) when her friend crashes the car and says she wants to kill him, while not even reprimanding Rory for letting someone else drive her car.

9) throws a fit when Rory applies to other schools than "her dream school" which has an acceptance rate of like 4%

10) pretends like she's such a best friends first mom but she's not. I mean she is but as long as Rory is doing everything she wants and agrees with all her opinions 100%. But any time Rory does something Lorelai doesn't like, she gets silent treatment- when Rory stays out late with Dean and Lorelai doesn't talk to her properly till the episode after, when she does sleep with Dean (🤢) Lorelai ships her off to Europe with her grandma as if Rory was a troubled 16-year-old not an adult and doesn't talk to her all summer or after she decided to take a semester off at Yale. Both were such Emily things to do and the Yale thing is especially vile because she says to Luke that she will only tell Rory about their engagement once Rory "fixes things" aka does what Lorelai wants her to do. It's so clear she was punishing her with silence.

I am ranting to you because you said that you love to discuss how terrible Lorelai is but if it's too much I apologize.

First off pleeeaseee never apologize for sending me asks or DMS even if they are 25 pages long! And "Reasons Why Lorelai Gilmore Is The Worst" is my favorite game. I wanna play! Here's another one of my biggest grievances! Lorelai does not respect Rory's self agency (is that the right term?) Example: Rory trying to impart on Lorelai that she doesnt blame Jess for crashing the car and that the injury was minor and not bothersome to her and that Lorelai is making way too big a stink over it. Lorelai fights her at every turn like Rory is a small child who can' possibly know what she's talking about and doesn't respect her opinions on anything if what Rory feels doesn't align with Lorelai. I believe Lorelai even tried to one up the doctor who tells them (lorelai and rory) in the hospital that the injury is pretty minor and Lorelai is like no, it must be worse than it is because Jess was driving and he was trying to murder my child! (she ALSO states "the accident would never have happened if Dean was behind the wheel", why, just because she thinks Dean is dreamy he's also not a 17 year old inexperienced driver who may not even have a full license yet and is prone to accidents? (she also gleefully and wistfully recalled how when she was first dating Christopher he drove recklessly on purpose and crashed his car with them in it). Countless other times Rory has tried to impart on Lorelai how she feels about something or someone and Lorelai just fucking steamrolls her. Rory wastes too much oxygen trying to convince Lorelai that Jess is a good person and she should give him a chance. But Lorelai has decide she doesn't like him so Rory must be wrong and not know what she's talking about. You know, I don't blame Rory for being such a damn doormat sometimes, I mean, standing up for herself to Lorelai never gets her anywhere so why bother? To number 9, The episode I just finished is a prime example! Lorelai had a literal meltdown in PUBLIC screaming at her parents, because Rory had the audacity to accept an invitation from her grandparents to merely tour a school and in her half baked mind this was some kind of conspiracy cooked up btwn the three of them to spit in Lorelai's face? Rory isn't allowed to go to any college but the one Lorelai picked out for her? Rory was so frightened of Lorelai's reaction to her visiting Yale that she and Richard and had to go behind Lorelai's back to plan the trip and Rory was practically bracing for impact when she had to tell Lorelai. And then is angry like "why did you go behind my back to arrange this?" Jesus Christ. Even Mrs Kim laid out options for Lane when it was time for college. To number 5: Lorelai said "I got the good kid" when she overheard Rory tell Paris she was still a virgin and then treated her to a trip to the mall. This is fun.

[fostercare-expat]

Sad news about the Stateless Baby. She is a former foster baby of Other Foster Mom and I looked after her once for a few hours. She was born to unmarried parents from a country that does not recognise babies born abroad out of wedlock so there’s no way to get citizenship for the baby other than a local adoption. In addition Mom is fairly unstable and has other kids that are being raise by a relative, so she’s not a great mom to begin with. A few months ago I was at a foster care event and I met a local family who was in the process of adopting Stateless Baby. They had committed to having Mom and the maybe Dad in her life. But today I just heard that Mom has taken back Stateless Baby for the last 3 weeks because she felt the potential adoptive family was trying to steal her away. The adoption paperwork here takes 6 months and the Stateless situation has made it even longer so there is no legal leg to stand on to get her back. Apparently Mom has been bringing the baby to work, which is clearly a “house of ill-repute” since she has no child care. The maybe Dad also works there too, so you can guess what his role is likely and you can guess why no one trusts he is the biological father. This is all a giant mess caused by the home country of Mom and maybe Dad, which isn’t the country we all live in here. From all the research that Other Foster Mom has done and from what the local and foreign embassies say, the citizenship issue can’t be resolved and there are tons of people who have just grown up without citizenship because if this ridiculous rule. Most just manage to find other ways to get citizenship by being adopted to a relative or married to someone when they are older. But most of those families are more savvy. This mom isn’t. She prefers to fly under the radar, i.e. she choose a home birth without anyone there as she was trying to have the baby without the authorities knowing. I feel for her because in theory she wants the baby but in reality she’s very stand-off ish and isn’t able to communicate well with all the authorities who are trying to help her. She can’t get Stateless Baby out of this country to her home country because the borders are super strict here, so she can’t even raise the baby informally by a relative over there. But she can’t ever send the kid to local school because only citizens and green card holders are allowed in local school and she doesn’t have $30,000 a year to send her kid to international school. It’s such a mess. The system sucks. But this baby needs some sort of plan. And it sounded like a really good plan of an adoptive family who can care of this darling baby girl safely without lots of scary men around 24/7 (because we are looking at a terrifying vulnerability for abuse with the current “bring your daughter to work” situation) and Mom and maybe Dad could still be part of her life. I guess eventually even if the baby isn’t taken away for abuse or neglect in her younger years, then girl would be taken by CPS for not attending school after age 7 as school is a strict requirement here and she will just end up in CPS care anyways. And she will be heavy damaged by then. Apparently there are other cases like hers here in CPS care too. What a nightmare. The poor kiddo suffers most.

The foreign system stinks because it’s perhaps needlessly separating a Mom and her child. (Although from what I’ve seen, this Mom might not be able to successfully parent even without these citizenship issues) and it’s punishing the child for being born to unwed parents, which isn’t her fault. They aren’t taking away the citizenship of the parents, they are doing it to the child. So wrong. And the local system has a very harsh approach to undocumented people so it won’t educate the child, but eventually would allow her to go to school only after removing her from her mother’s care. Also crazy. Just a mess. And none of these systems show signs of changing anytime soon. So we can complain they aren’t fair, but this baby is already 1 years old and isn’t going to stop growing so we need to find a way to give her a chance at a normal life.

[eroticcannibal]

My primary banned us applying sunscreen too. Think it was along the same thinking as kids needing to hand their meds over to the nurse and let them apply it? (Which, unless it's something where a kid can't reasonably be taught to administer themselves, also seems like a bad idea)

But of course one nurse can't apply sunscreen to hundreds of kids multiple times a day so we just. Didn't get it. Well, not until enough parents made a stink about it. But it was banned for a couple years.

Some of my teachers would turn a blind eye bc obviously this rule was ridiculous and putting everyone needlessly at risk, but others were real asses about it.

Bizarre to call bs on that. I remember bitching about it with the other kids at Brownies and they said similar things about their own schools. It seemed common, at least in my area?

Its really not that uncommon. I know the long wear stuff doesn't really work like that but I'd always use that for the child in school because they could not be trusted. Usually its more "we just don't have the time" rather than an outright ban but it is normal. Unfortunately.

[drchenquill]

OC in 15~

Thank you for the tag @the-letterbox-archives and @leitereads!

Rules: share 15 or less lines of dialogue from a character to showcase their personality!

This time i'll go with *drum rolls* Kiki! From "Him and Me - Bound By Fate". Enjoy~

"Are you Mr. Martens? Nice to meet you, I'm Kiki. I'll drive you everywhere. Well, not everywhere, just to school. You're an art teacher, aren't you? Maggie told me about you! This is your first time here, right? We'll have to explain a lot of things to you, because this little town is more complicated than it looks. Oops, I've probably said too much now. Get in, otherwise I'm going without you!"

"Don't piss your pants, Leon. They're just little kids."

"Not even an hour has passed and you're already calling me. Do you miss me that much?"

"Oh my God, I'm so glad you changed your mind after all, Leon. You don't know how relieved I am. I'm sure it will be complicated at first, but me and Maggie will be there to help you. You'll be in good hands."

"With all due love, Leon, but you stink."

"Actually, technically speaking, he could also not be a murderer."

"It would be better if you cooperated, Leon. Otherwise you'll be condemned to live the rest of your life like this."

"You don't have to worry about that, dear Leon. Nothing will change. You will teach as usual and spend the day as you like, with the small catch of babysitting a grown man."

"I'm starting to get the feeling you want it to be him."

" How sweet of you to leave us alone with your Fera! He's tearing the house apart right now."

"Leon, you ass. You just dumped us."

~~~

Tagging @ghost-type-writer , @paeliae-occasionally , @theink-stainedfolk , @sableglass and open tag~

[cheapcheapfaker]

Thank god the majority of this site does not want children because from this post alone your knowledge of early childhood education is fucking abysmal. It stinks of the same kids in high school art who went uugggh i don’t WANT to draw the FRUIT AGAIN and now they’re still drawing the same 3/4 face how to draw manga style because the only way to be able to successfully break rules is to learn them, for one. And two, proper coloring like this is actually like. Incredibly important for children to learn how to do for hand-eye coordination, to make sure they’re developing normally (if a child continuously uses the ‘wrong’ colors they are probably not a future Picasso their ass may be COLOR BLIND you dumbasses) like. Good god. They can draw and color whatever way they’d like at home. But at school?? At school??? The institution for learning??? Why are all of you so stupid. I wish you paid attention in classes instead of drawing an eye.

[palettepainter]

Weirdos in love

I’ve got Lew Zealand x Crazy Harry brainrot so have some small headcannons while I’m cutting stencils at work:

-Harry sleeps unnaturally still…to the point sometimes people panic and assume he might be dead. It doesn’t help that Harry naturally has a very pale completion which often has people mistaking him for being unwell when they first meet him. Harry is also not apposed to collapsing asleep at a desk or table. When Lew catches Harry asleep and unmoving he’ll place a written note by his head saying “Not dead, sleeping”

-Lew Zealand is trans I don’t make the rules guys 

-Harry loves taking apart random appliances to tinker with them and see how they work. More then once Lew has returned him to find Harry taking apart the toaster 

-They live in a small house together near a lake where Lew likes to go fishing. The house has an old basement Harry hides in to do all his explosive related work, while Lew practises his boomerang skills in the garden 

-Lew likes to go fishing, it’s a hobby he picked up in his teens but his family have always had a knack for fishing. He’s always been a more catch and release type of person though, he’s fine with eating fish based dishes but he doesn’t have the guts to kill a fish himself 

-Lew loves swimming and he used to compete in competitions at his school. He is very aerodynamic in the water and basically considers it a second home with how comfortable he is in the water. Harry on the other hand cannot swim to save his life, he never learnt, ontop of hating how cold water feels on his skin and the feeling of weightless ness Harry avoids large bodies of water at all times 

-Harry and Lew aren’t as smart as Bunsen and Beaker, but they’re not as oblivious as most people think. Lew has always loved and been passionate about sea life, he has a fondness for tropical fish and other species that often look peculiar or silly, like puffer fish.

Harry is also smart. He was the smartest kid in his science class and left with high grades…But he also knows a lot of bizarre weird facts no normal person would think about: like how to make a pipe bomb out of an air fryer, or how quickly acid can burn through metal, or how to pick locks without leaving evidence, how to hot wire a car, how to escape a country in a day (I’m not saying Harry has a past of criminal offences and may have gotten in trouble with police and has a past wrapped in mystery but I am saying it’s a possibility) 

-Harry loves knitted cardigans and sweaters, though he leans more towards cardigans. Maybe he could have grown up somewhere cold and far away from any big city? Hence why he can sometimes be a bit out of the loop with social ques and norms. All of his cardigans are well kept, but they all stink of smoke 

-Lew can’t cook to save his life and Harry only knows how to use a microwave and air fryer, so they often don’t eat the most healthy foods. Mac and Cheese is Harry’s favourite while Lew isn’t fussy and tends to eat whatever Harry does. Chef - as a culinary master - is personally offended at their poor diets and on more then one occasion has cooked meals for them (Lew and Harry are very enthusiastic about Chef’s meals, but his irritation about their poor eating habits fly right over their heads)

-They adopted, aka Harry found and brought home, sphynx cat named Newton. They thought they where a boy but it was only after they’d had the cat for a month did they realise it was a girl. Newton is Lew’s and Harry’s adopted hairless baby and they love love LOVE her. Harry in particular is very fond of their little wrinkly four legged child. If it wasn’t for Lew Harry would have adopted a whole army of hairless cats (he knits Newton sweaters in his free time)

-Harry has a bizarre ability of just…appearing out of no where. You’ll walk round a corner and Harry will unexpectedly be there, unblinking, staring at you 

-Lew and Harry are close with the band, and Harry in particular is good friends with Animal - mostly because the two balance out each other’s craziness. Newton also loves Animal and likes to curl up on his drum stool or lick at his mess of hair. The other band members are sometimes caught off guard by Harry and his ability to appear out of no where, except for Floyd 

-Lew is a big summer guy, while Harry hates the heat. Lew is all about summer fun! Swimming in the sea, sandcastles, ice cream, volley ball on the beach, fishing, kayaking, the whole show! Meanwhile, Harry is huddled under an umbrella at the far end of the beach the furthest away from the sea 

-Harry is the best person for scary stories because he doesn’t hold back, something which Lew learnt the hard way and paid the price for by not sleeping well for the next five days. 

-Lew and Camilla are surprisingly very close, they bond over the fact of them both having crazy, bizarre husbands who they adore dearly. Camilla sometimes asks Lew to “eggsit” for her when she and Gonzo go out for the evening. Harry doesn’t understand why they need to babysit…eggs of all things, but he knits Lew egg cozies for them 

-For some reason I can picture Lew as being Italian, or at least he has strong family ties in Italy 

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

🔪 Revenge for Dummies 💋

jomeg fic - 10k - rating: T - high school AU - 2stab2fest - read on ao3

“You said it yourself that being lesbian has novelty value! So it is a popularity move!” Meg shrieks. With blood smeared across her face and eyes wild with the power of standing on a table in two inch heels, she looks demonic. She looks incredible, Jo thinks. She looks like royalty. “We are being QUEERBAITED."

Jo is the queen bee of Midwest High, all until Meg steals the throne by claiming Jo is queerbaiting the school. What follows is the epic tale of Jo’s homoerotic revenge mission. It’s about girlhood and popularity and lesbianism and being a batshit insane 16 year old—with a knife!

written for the brilliantly run 2stab2fest and accompanied by gorgeous art from @keikakudom !!

chapter 1 of 5 below cut!

High School 101

Though it might’ve come as a shock to her 10 year old self, at 16, Jo Harvelle’s life is one long chick-flick moment. We’re talking resident queen bee of Midwest High with a side-dish of blonde bombshell best served hot. She rules alongside her best friend and loyal confidant Claire Novak, and their passionate alliance is founded on the fact they met in the opening weeks of middle school, when Claire found Jo reading Beginner’s Book to Blade Wielding in the quietest corner of the library and asked if she could read it with her.

It therefore may come as a surprise to some that Jo and Claire have ascended the ranks of social status with such ease and grace. Stabby lesbians with dearly departed daddys don’t often tend to work the runways of high school popularity, after all, but the facts of the matter fall like this: Jo has always been an outcast, but now she gets to be distant in the way royalty is and not in the way lepers are. Like, untouchable, but make it chic. 

The lesbian thing turns out to be pretty helpful too. Jo and Claire are known for their Biker Barbie lesbian swag, which, at Midwest High, provides the perfect intersection of gender. The boys are into their leather jackets, but Jo and Claire don’t want them back, and the girls crave their nonchalantly fashionable attitude, so Jo and Claire can bask in their heterosexually-awed stares. It’s a perfectly measured concoction of being the most beautiful girls in the whole school but not doing it for the guys. Jo and Claire simply aren’t like other girls, and so all the other girls want to be like them. 

So animal skin, pop-punk listening habits, and blonde hair. Paired with the incomprehensible fact they are two sapphic best friends who aren’t in love with each other, the whole school is pliant under their sweet and unbothered thumbs. Claire even had the incredible idea to glue Biker Barbie in pink rhinestones to the backs of their matching leather jackets. They are an inseparable gang of two and they rule the school, stomping past lockers and lesser students in matching black leather jackets, ripped jeans, and gleaming Doc Martens.

And it’s a fucking difficult life.

That’s Jo, right there, the protagonist of our Riverdalian love story. 

Yeah, hi, it’s me. And let me tell you, the pressures of being the lesbian leader of hundreds of high school aged monstrosities are pretty near infinite. Firstly, I’m 16. I’ve never even kissed a girl, and somehow being one of the first kids in my grade to come out means I’m some dykey messiah. It’s a pretty impressionable age to be seen as a sexuality first and a person second. 

Secondly, everyone in this place is like, stinking rich. Yachts and lawyers and mansions abound and so nobody can ever know me and mom scrape by living above a literal bar. All the rich kids have aloof, only vaguely invested parents, so they can do what they want, but I’m cursed with a mom who loves me and so is ridiculously interested (read: controlling) in my life. It’s just a shame my dad makes up for this by not being interested enough, in that he is dead.

Finally, amid the other infinite reasons why maintaining my monarchal image is hellishly hard, I’m not obliviously iconic like Cher from Clueless. I’m not just some dumb box bleach blonde—I’m the girl who’s making ‘freak with the knife collection’ work for her. That’s a hard line to walk. It’s a fucking tightrope. And I’ve been walking it for years. 

On the topic of walking, another of our story’s featured cast is now strutting into view. We’re alongside Jo and Claire in the cafeteria at lunch, gazing down on the masses of normies from the heights of the exclusive Royal Banqueting Table. Popularity is performance, and so the Royal Banqueting Table is the only one in the cafeteria on a raised bit of floor. It’s a stage, essentially; it’s like sitting in the royal box or the back of the bus. 

And through the maze of tables, past the nerds and the basketball team and the theater kids—this is a high school, after all—Meg Masters and The Rubies are winding their way towards Jo and Claire. Jo’s hackles raise at the sight of them, and she points them out to Claire with a nudge and a roll of her eyes. 

Meg Masters is just like the other girls. She wears tight dresses and little tops and buys all-natural avocado shampoo which has the word ‘organic’ on the bottle but which her daddy flies in from Hawaii. She is rich rich, with the kind of house so big her parents keep their sailing boat in the front garden. But with the hordes of hell hounds baying for blood at the grand entrance of the passcode protected gates, it’s not like anyone at Midwest High has ever gotten the chance to really see it. 

Well, anyone at Midwest High apart from Jo. 

Because Jo and Meg had been best friends once upon a time, back in kindergarten and elementary school, in that squishy age where time isn’t real but friends are. They had been everything to each other, vowing solemnly at sleepovers never to lose the friendship which was blossoming so pure between them. 

It wasn’t pure, Meg dropped me the second she got the chance to. The instant we reached high school, the ties were cut. 

Jo doesn’t remember exactly how their friendship ended, she just knows it hurt her more than anything else ever has.

Shut up, I remember it. Meg was a bitch. I guess some girls are just built different: she went out shopping with her flaky new rich friends, and me and Claire built a small empire.

It is perhaps pertinent to mention here that while Jo is a very self-aware lesbian, she hasn’t quite mastered the art of feminism yet. She is only 16, after all. 

Meg has equipped herself with new friends since the disintegration of her friendship with Jo, and these new friends take the form of The Rubies. If Meg keeps hell hounds at home, The Rubies are the demonic little chihuahuas who cling to her heels at school. Ruby 1 and Ruby 2 are essentially indifferentiable apart from the fact that Ruby 1 is blonde, with mean little bangs, and Ruby 2 is a pissy brunette. Underneath the skin they are both the same: shallow, devilish girls who delight in igniting chaos and looking good while doing it. So while the words Meg and The Rubies sound like a spunky indie girl band, the reality is that they are beautiful, invulnerably rich teens who love nothing better than making everyone else’s life hell. 

“Meg and The Rubies at 12 o’clock,” Claire announces to the table.

The royal court of Bela Talbot, Rowena MacLeod, and Billie (nobody knows their last name, in the same way nobody knows Adele’s or Madonna’s—you simply don’t need to) chorus a sympathetic sigh. They are staples of the Royal Banquet Table, being more loyal to the power of The Table than to the current monarchy itself, and so Jo and Claire tolerate them. Rowena’s basically a witch, and Bela’s English, and Jo is pretty sure Billie could strangle her with their bare hands and she’d say thank you, so. It’s not like they’re unattractive company.

Besides, there’s another member of the table Jo is more concerned with.

Dean Winchester leans over to Jo, and in a rarely captured example of sensible advice, says, “ignore them, Jo, they’re not worth your time.”

Dean Winchester is different to Bela, Rowena, and Billie. He makes Jo’s very lesbian brain come to an unwilling and baffling stop. She looks into his dewy green eyes and she hears white noise. He’s a senior, and he exclusively wears his dad’s too-big leather jacket because he thinks it makes him look cool (it kinda does) and Jo would die before admitting that sometimes it feels like no one else’s opinion of her in the whole world matters apart from his. 

Hey, fuck off! My feelings about Dean Winchester are perfectly normal.

“Yeah, you too,” Jo replies to Dean. And conversation is a subjective artform, but that is not the correct response to Dean’s previous statement. 

Dean smiles at Jo anyway, like she’s somehow fun to be around, and she’s glad that if being the Teen Queen of the school gets her anything, it’s this. Dean hangs out with them some days, when he feels like it. Mostly he hangs out in the school’s garage working on cars, and more recently he’s been spending time in the gardens with the new transfer student Clarence. 

My gaydar senses something is up there, by the way.

Jo is at least right about that. 

Noice.

But as much as Jo tries to take Dean’s surprisingly sensible advice to ignore Meg and The Rubies, this is proves a lot more difficult than expected when Meg stalks over to the Royal Banqueting Table, steps up on the bench and onto the table itself, and lands the heels of her two inch stilettos right into the bread of Jo’s sandwich.

Jo peers up past the ankle—plump and solid—up the shin—shaved smooth and speckled strawberry—to the thigh—soft and fleshy—and then almost but not quite up her teeny tiny silky skirt.

“The fuck are you doing? Get your weirdly impractical shoes out of my sandwich stat, Masters,” Jo growls. 

“Sorry, Josephine, no can do,” Meg says, her dainty lips curling maliciously around her words.

“You know that’s not my name.”

“Oh, is it not? That fact must have walked out of my brain the day you walked out of my life.”

Jo scoffs. “The day I walked out on you?”

“Okay, Meg, get off the table and stop making a scene,” Dean cuts in, trying to stench the flow of petty words before the drama dam bursts. He is unsuccessful.

Meg smiles. “Sorry, Deano. I have an announcement to make, and this table is my stage.” Her voice is rich as honey but dangerous as dart frog venom.

It is then that Jo sees the Gucci megaphone clutched in Meg’s perfectly manicured hands. 

This is so not groovy. 

“Hear ye, hear ye,” she begins before Claire can swipe the megaphone out of her hands and Dean can try and defuse the situation further. The Rubies are now standing either side of the Royal Banqueting Table like femme-fatale bouncers, effectively immobilizing the royal court. 

The whole cafeteria falls obediently silent. Somewhere among the fringe groups, a phone buzzes, and is quickly stifled.

“I know we’re all obsessed with Jo and Claire, our Biker Barbies. They’re the reigning queens of our little high school, right? And what do we love them for? Their cutesy little rhinestone jackets, their perfectly blonde hair? Their lesbian swag?” 

Jo and Claire exchange perturbed looks. Around the cafeteria, students are nodding affirmatively; if this is Meg trying to start a Les Mis style anti-monarchy rebellion, she’s gonna have to go a little more opera.

“But what if I told you that having matching Hobby-Lobby jackets isn’t the flex you think it is? What if I told you that they bleach their hair to make it that color?” 

An uneasy muttering sweeps across the hall, and Jo suddenly realizes: Meg is working up to something. 

What if she tells them about how I live above a creepy bar? What if she tells them about the dusty-ass van mom drives me halfway to school in? What if she tells them about how invested my mother is in my life and wellbeing and how weird it is that there’s only a twenty year age gap between us and that sometimes I feel more like I’m living in a documentary about troubled young women rather than a chick-flick movie?

“What if I told you that little Joey here isn’t a real lesbian?”

Jo almost spits out her water, the laugh comes out of her so hard. “What? Come on, jello-head, I’ve been averting my eyes from lingerie stores since I came out the womb.”

“Is that so, Harvelle?” Meg sings, and her eyes flash obsidian. “Because I have it on good authority that you, self-proclaimed cowgirl and lover of posse, have a crush on Dean Winchester.”

Suddenly everything about the situation is a lot less funny. The room erupts riotously, screeches of jeers and laughter echoing across the hall. Jo feels the blood rush to her face hard and fast, much like how she imagines an erection might feel if it was brought on by intense shame. Next to her, Dean’s minty eyes are wide and staring. She flinches away from him like his touch might corrupt her all-important lesbianism. 

“No, I don’t!” Jo cries. Her voice goes unheard over the chaos of the hall.

“Awh,” Meg sighs, pouting down patronizingly at where Jo is now shaking with rage in her seat,  “that’s exactly what someone with a massive crush on Dean Winchester would say.”

“You can’t just say she’s not a lesbian, only she can say that!” Claire screams indignantly. She scrambles up beside Meg before The Rubies can pull her down and wrestles the megaphone from her hands, giving her a solid elbow to the nose as she does so. Meg’s head ricochets back and her nose bursts, bloody in her hands. 

“Shut up!” Claire bellows into the megaphone. Her cry rebounds across the far wall of the cafeteria at such a volume several kids covered their ears, and the hall falls sheepishly silent a second time. A few whispers snake across the air, though, and Jo feels her kingdom slip a little further from her grasp. “Use your brains, boneheads. As if Jo would lie about being a lesbian. Where’s the fun in that? This butt-crazy bitch just wants what we have and you can’t let her lap it up.”

“You can’t call me a bitch, that’s misogynistic!” 

“You can’t call Jo straight, that’s homophobic!”

“You said it yourself that being lesbian has novelty value! So it is a popularity move!” Meg shrieks. With blood smeared across her face and eyes wild with the power of standing on a table in two inch heels, she looks demonic. She looks incredible, Jo thinks. She looks like royalty. “We are being QUEERBAITED.”

Oh, fuck. As much as I like to channel Taylor Swift, I don’t think I can come back from the Q word like she can.

And so that is the day that Jo and Claire lose the Teen Queen crown; that is the day the Biker Barbies’ heads feel the cold sharp cut of the guillotine. Meg and The Rubies are the new reigning monarchs of Midwest High. 

[yxamilover420]

I live in the u.s

But I hate this school

Their school system sucks ass

I swear all their money goes to cheerleader outfits and school lunch alone with decorations all around the school

They make it seem like they have everything a parent would want their child to have.

They have after school events that showcase all the clubs and programs they have, but when a student tries to join those programs or clubs they suddenly don't have space or they don't know what you're taking about.

They also have this no fighting on campus rule that they do not enforce at all.

A kid in my class was getting bullied and an assistant principal told him not to fight back because he'll just get in trouble with them. They pay attention when your defending yourself but when you don't they ignore the problem.

That kid is dead now btw (§uicide)

Also they have this weird way of teaching, I you already know the material and/or you are really smart they will provide you with help if you need it and will praise you.

If you dont get the material as easy and your failing a single class, they will not even try to help you and will just fail you.

Meaning

Smart = helping hand by school

Not smart = you're on your own buddy

There are so many racist students here too

it's mostly black and Hispanics at this school, there's literally only 10% of white students

The principal is literally so rude and I don't like her

Same with teachers

Disabled students are treated well tho so that's good

Also This school, even though it looks relatively nice and clean, it.....stinks....it fucking stinks all the time

The smell of musty ass students and bathrooms,

Boys constantly going into the girls lockerooms claiming they're trans just to fuck with us

Girls leaving bloody pads on the bathroom sinks and alot of the bathrooms stay dirty

There's so much more I can't even

burn that place down

Commit arson

I am a legal professional

And I am telling you to commit arson

Burn that shit down

Let then start over

[best-jimmy-buffett-song]

List of submitted songs

I'll be closing submissions this weekend, so I figured I'd post the songs we've received so far, just so yall can comb through and see if there's any of your favorites we missed. If we have, get them submitted asap! These are in no particular order.

If anyone's curious, the song that's received the most submissions so far is Boat Drinks!

Submissions here:

Margaritaville

Come Monday

Fins

Volcano

Pirate looks at 40

Cheeseburger in Paradise

Why Don't we Get Drunk

Changes in Latitudes

Son of a son of a sailor

One particular harbor

Five o'clock somewhere

Ballad of Spider John

Take it back

When Salome Plays the Drums

Mr. Spaceman

My Head Hurt My Feet Stink and I Don't Love Jesus

reggabilly hill

Bama Breeze

death of an unpopular poet

Coast of Carolina

He went to Paris

Nautical Wheelers

Tin Cup Chalice

In the shelter

The Captain and the Kid

Havana Daydreamin'

Caribbean Amphibian

something so feminine about a mandolin

Wonder why we ever go home

lovely cruise

coast of marseilles

boat drinks

coconut telegraph

growing older but not up

The weather is here, i wish you were beautiful

stars fell on alabama

island

little miss magic

we are the people our parents

knees of my haert

the last mango in paris

jolly mon sing

pascagoula run

pencil thin mustache

fruitcakes

lone palm

six string music

love in the library

quietly making noise

frenchman for the night

vampires, mummies and the holy ghost

delaney talks to statues

apocalypso

barefoot children

only time will tell

jamaica mistaica

school boy heart

banana wind

overkill

desdemona's building a rocket ship

mental floss

cultural infidel

happily ever after

false echoes

beach house on the moon

permanent reminder of a temporary feeling

pacing the cage

flesh and bone

i will play for gumbo

semi-true stories

lucky stars

i dont know and i dont care

mademoiselle

savannah fare you well

someday i will

tonight i just ned my guitar

breathe in, breathe out, move on

bubbles up

Biloxi

i heard i was in town

changing channels

Gypsies in the Palace

The city

brown eyed girl

Knee deep

God's own drunk

Manana

livingston saturday night

Grapefruit Juicy Fruit

migration

Take another road

wings

Sailboat for sale

no plane on sunday

sail on sailor

i wish lunch could last forever

nobody from nowhere

first look

ragtop day

The Christian

[loominggaia]

¿Cómo fue la noche de bodas de los padres de los fgg? (O la primera vez (sexo) de los padres de los fgg con su respectiva pareja)

P.d:ya que el padre es un misterio, skel no cuenta

(Translated via Google Translate)

"How was the fgg parents' wedding night? (Or the first time (sex) of the parents of the fgg with their respective partner) P.s: since the father is a mystery, skel does not count"

--

That's kind of funny to think about! I think each answer could say a lot about their respective cultures, and even more about who they are as people.

There's nothing especially graphic ahead, but I'll put the following text below a cut just in case.

Foster and Sofia probably waited until their wedding night to do anything sexual because they're both Lindists. According to Lindist scripture, it's immoral to have sex before marriage because it "invites bad spirits" and "spoils the body". (In reality, the House of Humanity imposed this rule because Evangelite medical technology sucks, this kingdom is not well-equipped to deal with disease, and monogamous, committed intercourse is less likely to spread diseases.)

Since neither of them had prior experience, I'm sure it was awkward and unpleasant, especially for Sofia. Pleasure is not prioritized for Evangelite women because in their culture, women are seen as beasts of burden, baby-factories, and servants to men. Evangelite women are not supposed to enjoy sex because it's seen as improper, not ladylike behavior. So, sex with Foster was probably pretty awful and I doubt it got much better with time.

Moswen and Ekwame: Moswen was forced to marry Ekwame when she was 16, and she gave birth to her sons at 17. I think we can safely assume that she conceived those children on her wedding night, which is really upsetting considering Ekwame was 40 years older than her. As cruel and hateable as she is, I can't help but feel sympathy for her here, because this had to be a traumatic experience for her no matter how you slice it. She should have been in school with her peers, but instead she was getting railed by some nasty old man and forced into motherhood when she was still a kid herself. I don't want to dwell on this one, I'm sure you can imagine how scary this was for teenage Moswen. And knowing what a selfish, apathetic ass Ekwame was, I'm sure he didn't really care how she felt about anything. Both of them just went through the motions like they were told to, to fulfill political obligations.

Oggsa and Vingevar: We don't know much about Vingevar, so it's tough to say what happened here. But we do know what a tough, domineering personality Oggsa is, so you can bet one thing...she was always on top.

Rene and Sebastian: They were at it long before they got married, and I doubt they even remember their first time because they were both completely wasted. Despite their dysfunction, I think these two did genuinely love eachother, and it must have been a sweet moment for them both. Perhaps they were getting it on in a dirty public bathroom or next to a stinking swamp...but the love was still there!

Ojio and Tarajeen: Sex before marriage is taboo in Damijana, and considering all the agents spying on them, these two wouldn't have risked it. I think both of them were virgins before they married, and their first several times was the most awkward sex ever. Sex education is bad in Damijana--and I mean baaaaad! They don't teach their people anything useful about intercourse because the censorship laws are so over-the-top. Porn and nudity is outright banned, even if it's tasteful. This leaves grown-ass adult citizens very confused about sex and how it actually works. They just clumsily fumble their way through it until offspring happens (and oftentimes, doesn't happen! Damijani fertility rates are low for a reason...People literally forgot how to reproduce here...)

Ojio and Tarajeen knew they were supposed to undress and climb into bed together. After that...??? Something about tab A into slot B??? But they don't realize Ojio is supposed to be erect when it happens, nor do they realize they're supposed to gyrate around until climax. So they just kinda put it in for a while, take it out and then go to sleep. Several confounding trips to the clinic later, they finally discover why they haven't concieved a child...the sex got a lot better after that, but boy did they feel silly. And then Jeimos was born, and they never had time for sex again. :') Ah, parenthood under capitalism.

Darshaan and Karenza: I think they hooked up well before marriage, probably during their journey across the desert as they fled from Alqamah. I can imagine them taking cover in a cave after dark and getting extra cozy in the tiny space. It's a loving encounter and they are sweet and gentle with eachother...then right before climax, Darshaan notices a scorpion on the wall right in front of his face. He screams like a little girl, wraps his arms around Karenza and rolls them out of the cave like a sweaty, naked tumbleweed. They both get sand lodged in unfortunate places. Karenza never lets him forget that moment as for long as they were together.

Riona and Nemeto: Supposedly Nemeto sailed to Umory-Ond in search of old ships to repair and sell, where he met Riona and fell in love with her. Riona chose to sail away with him back to Matuzu Kingdom. I like to think she jumped his bones right there on the boat!

I'll skip Balthazaar and Skel's parents because we just don't have enough information about them. Same for Adel and Zeffer's mother. I'll skip Olandrah too, because her first time was unfortunately very disturbing and not fun to read about. No point in talking about the Tekeetian King and Queen either, because they were cecaelia and had no concept of sex.

I think Eindrid and Jorun waited until marriage as is customary for their culture. But as we learned in "The Stash", the people of Loreham have an unusual practice where the bride and groom get it on for the first time in front of the whole tribe! They do this because centaurs are big, cumbersome creatures who can actually injure eachother pretty bad during sex if they're not careful. Having the tribe there to cheer and backseat them during their first time is probably annoying as hell, but it prevents tragedies and gives the couple confidence. It also ensures that a child is conceived properly, provides witnesses to the consummation, and guarantees the celebration ends with a bang...pun intended.

Anyway, Jorun is Elska's mother, so you know she ended up mangling someone or something by the end of it. I'm just saying, Eindrid always had a little extra bend in his ween from that day forward...

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[itsthenerdwonder]

Okay, before we end the PJO tv show, I’m gonna watch the shitty movie. I’ve reread the book, chapter by chapter, before each episode to compare it for myself. But let’s watch the movie to compare to the show AND book cuz why the eff not?

And since Percy is played by a 21 year old, I will also be drinking during this movie cuz BLEH!

20th Century Fox…you sure did last longer than 1999. For better and worse. And now Disney owns you and you’re nothing but a memory…a little more booze will fix that.

Chris Columbus, because everyone loved the first 2 Harry Potter movies. Well, they loved how good of adaptations they were as well as the Dumbledore actor.

Giant Poseidon rises out of the water…struggling to walk through water like he’s a human. AND A HUMAN SEES HIM AND HE’S JUST LIKE “sup” LIKE….THAT HAD BETTER BE A RANDOM TSUNAMI HE’S FUCKING SEEING! AND THEN POSEIDON JUST WATER MORPHS INTO A REGULAR GUY?! WHY ARE YOU NOW A REGULAR GUY?! WHY NOT JUST START AS A REGULAR GUY? Why be massive at all? Just, why?

You know, Sean Bean probably wishes he DID die in this movie so he’d never have to reprise. But, only the main 4 actually reprised so, you know, whatever. The franchise flopped enough to count as a death.

EXPSITION! TALKING! WALKING! BORING!

Also, this implies that Luke LITERALLY JUST TOOK IT! Like, days/hours ago and Zeus is already like “guess imma just kill a kid and cause WWIII in 2 weeks.” Like, Zeus has no chill, but he’s king of the gods for a reason. Those shits are PETTY! And do ALL KINDS of stuff that could’ve resulted in dozens of power plays/wars/other shitty things happen to the gods or mortals, but they didn’t cuz Zeus…actually knows how to rule. He just doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants. That’s a separate issue.

Such intense. Very dramatique standing. Much wow.

Honestly, even though this is a weird opening, it is a very good opening. Percy just…chilling in his element. Like, yeah, 7 minutes for a high schooler to just hold his breath is bad cuz 6 minutes and you start losing brain cells and teenagers don’t have cells to lose cuz they lost half of them to puberty and spend the next 10-15 years wrestling them back from their hormones and self-worth issues. But still, it’s a nice score after that intensely nothing scene, very calm and soothing, makes the “who could Percy’s dad” question feel very stupid but the movie isn’t trying to make you think, so you can just…be for that underwater scene. It’s nice. But unfortunately we don’t drown and the movie keeps going.

Although, with Rick adding that Percy does have a fear of drowning in later books, that does make this scene…terrifying. Is Percy trying to drown himself?

“It’s like high school without the musical” so…high school. Also, hey, an appropriately 2008 reference cuz these books can’t stop making references. Seriously, Rick, you can stop making references that date the books. You do a yearly reference per book but sometimes it’s multiple books per year. THAT’S NOT HOW DATES WORK.

Mrs. Dodds is teaching English cuz…Shakespeare is harder than high school trig? But it does give us a decent look at Greek letters superimposing over the early modern English as the letters move and rearrange and…this is the second nice thing I’ve said. SHIT! SAY SOMETHING DISPARAGING!

“I think this dyslexia thing is getting worse.” That’s…not how dyslexia works. “Idk, maybe it’s the ADHD.” This movie is dumb. Phew, I said something disparaging.

Percy sassing his mom makes me hate him rather than making me think they have a close relationship and he loves his mom and would literally kill for her.

Ah, the first sexual thing to happen on screen. And this is the only one to not make me mad cuz it’s Gabe being the worst.

“Show some respect. That’s my mom right there.” No, that’s his wife right there. Show him some of you leaving so he can continue to be a mortal pig stinking up the place and making you safe from monsters. God this Gabe is the worst, he’s fucking perfect.

Oh right, and the gods are telepathic too. Cuz…why? That’s never established in ANY myth or book. “I haven’t seen him since he was a baby” yeah, but apparently you guys have one-way phone calls where you give cryptic advice every other Tuesday.

AND THEY GET GREEK MYTH WRONG! “The Big Three overthrew Kronus.” *Pulls out 3 mythology books, 10 mythology websites and the fucking book.* Now, we’re not leaving until you learn these gods’ dam myths or you are carried away by Thanatos trying.

Mrs. Dodds honestly looks like such a creeper in this scene. Looking like she’s trying to sniff his hair. Ick.

Pierce Brosnan is a brilliant actor. He uses the wheelchair like a fucking pro, but then he keeps propping himself up at an odd angle away from the back like it’s uncomfortable to sit in. Which, would make sense given he’s got a whole other half folded up behind him.

It’s so interesting how the Furies keep getting wings in modern media. Like, classical depictions have them as just really really pissed off ladies. And that’s no lady. That’s a demon.

Logan was clearly thinking the CGI would grab his arms to lift him instead of underneath his arms, so he just looks really stiff cuz the CGI artists messed up.

“I should be on medication.” Well yes but actually no.

Also, how was the show’s lack of a fight scene better than this…almost fight? Pathetic attack and subsequent scolding? At least she died in the show, unlike here.

“Only use it in times of severe distress.” That line…makes no sense…cuz…like…he’s camp activities director for a bunch of demigods he’s training to fight to the death…WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T WANT THIS KID WHO’S IN IMMEDIATE DANGER TO USE A WEAPON?!

“This is a pen. This is a pen!” Well…at least some of this movie is fun/funny/almost enjoyable.

Movie!Percy is an ableist jackass who thinks crutches constitute helplessness. Book!Percy would beat Movie!Percy up for even SUGGESTING Grover couldn’t handle himself, much less kick someone’s ass. He’s seen Grover in the cafeteria line.

“Like I said, I’m your protector.” And suddenly, Eddie and the guys think Grover’s gay for Percy

“He was forced to leave.” I…the tide comes and goes. And so does Poseidon. He’s here, then he’s gone. But he’ll return again. Constant change. How is that so hard to write?

“Leaving you was probably the most difficult thing he ever did.” Okay, I know you’re not Show!Sally, but lady, Imma need you to do your research about your ex. Okay?

“Sally watch out!” For what? The cow didn’t enter the screen until the car was already turning to avoid it.

And this is why you wear a seat belt. All of you should’ve gone flying through that windshield cuz none of you were wearing seat belts.

I’m going to need Grover to never say “Come on” again. Please. For the love of Apollo.

I hate that invisible wall.

You know, it’s supposed to be raining. Which is why Percy does not insta-die. Cuz water. Instead, this kid is just the best at being a matador/sword fighting cuz Gary Stu.

“No. No. No. No. No. No.” LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GIVE IT UP FOR THE WORST LINE DELIVERY IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE! “I’d like to thank my mom, for dying. My teen angst, for not giving a shit for her dying. That math test I was supposed to take today I definitely didn’t study for that I was thinking about the same time as remembering my mom just died. None of you were important to me. And I’ll keep on not caring for the rest of this movie. Good night!”

This is the tiniest Camp Half-Blood ever…and the musical just had a small black box to work with. Sword combat training right next to archers firing at everything leaving the infirmary and both working to put you back in immediately after getting healed?

“I’m a loser. I have dyslexia. ADHD.” Look. 2010 was a different time. But like…did the writers KNOW what those were? That they’re unfortunately not an uncommon disability in America. For one or the other (usually not both, but most people don’t hear about half-bloods unless they make the news for blowing up Mount St. Helens. Again)

Look at Clarise kicking ass, even though she should have her hair up. “That’s Annabeth.” Oh, right. Every time.

Instant connection. Cuz…teenagers be horny I guess. Not like we can actually build up the relationship or anything. NOOOOO. Gotta be horny at first sight.

Pierce Brosnan is a terrible actor with how he’s holding his arms like he Naruto running, but they’re fists so it just looks stiff and awkward.

“A real horse’s ass.” I still don’t understand that joke. Not that one. The one in Aladdin where he says “a horse with two rear ends” but…RIGHT! Gotta focus on the worse movie.

All daughters of Aphrodite are sorority girls with Elle Woods’ body and libido without the Elle Woods brains. Remember when this story was supposed to be for 12-year-olds.

And there’s no question who his dad is cuz Poseidon just came to camp one day and decided to be a carpenter and carved “PεΓ<ψ ωiιι βε HεΓε” right above the door

You know…the CGI on Chiron’s horse half looks pretty good.

“This stuff is so heavy!” That’s light leather! What are you talking about. I can show you several 12-year-olds wearing full metal breastplates, pauldrons and helmets carrying metal shields too (which also looks cheap, but still) that would laugh at how you think THAT is heavy.

Grover’s so upbeat here at camp…which is…interesting…

Camp Leader? Leader? I…what the fuck is happening. Why is Luke…more in charge than Chiron? And Mr. D comes next movie…DID MR. D TAKE LUKE’S JOB?!

Idk…maybe it’s just the Michael lingering in poor Adam Winchester, but…he just RADIATES evil, you know?

“That’s a sword. That’s a sword.” No shit.

But, you know, even with the shaky cam, the fight choreography is pretty good.

“My mother is goddess of wisdom and battle strategy. You know what that means?” You’re an inflated windbag who exposits a lot? Like, didn’t we already establish that 2 scenes ago? Yet, I almost needed it cuz I forgot she was Annabeth again and was like “Hey Clarisse” cuz she looks like how I picture Clarrise (who’s a blonde) and fighting against Percy and being a bitch and…yeah

Cuz she wouldn’t know to not leave a son of Poseidon anywhere near water? Like, even not knowing that it’d heal him, with admittedly decent effects, he’s already claimed and so she’d KNOW that maybe, just maybe, he’s a water boy. That and/or he’s probably pretty good on horseback.

And now the fight choreography sucks. I’m bored. Mostly by the 1-v-1 instead of war between many like we were doing. Like…they would be doing.

Grover isn’t hungry all the time here. He’s horny all the time. I hate it.

“I’m not going to grow a fish tail or gills am I?” Listen, I’d much rather be watching Thirteenth Year. Shut up.

“I have very strong feelings for you. I just haven’t decided if they’re positive or negative yet.” So…you think he’s hot, but a jerk. So…make it negative cuz…yeah, this Percy is a prick and I don’t want to be his friend. Where’s Book or Show!Percy. I miss them.

AND HADES IS SATAN BECAUSE EVERYONE SAW DISNEY’S HERCULES AS WELL AS FUCKING CHRISTIANS AND THEIR HATRED OF DEATH! I HATE THIS! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FOR DISPARAGING THE LORD OF THE DEAD LIKE THIS!

I’m also going to need Grover to stop saying “I’m your protector.” It’s almost as repetitive as “Come on,” but not quite. Not yet.

Luke playing video games is somehow the biggest change from the book. Not Annabeth eating Clarisse’s character. Not Mrs. Dodds teaching Shakespeare. Not that everyone knows Percy’s heritage and thus we cut out the “gods are deadbeats” theme from the books…nope. It’s the fact that this Ancient Greek summer camp has fucking electricity.

“My dad’s a jerk, I’ve never met him.” You know, if it was ONLY book 1, I could forgive this. Knowing several books had come out and May Castellian’s story was able to be known…OOPS! Kinda forgot to read ahead to make sure everything lines up, huh?

I broke into a god’s house and stole stuff (I’m obviously not the Lightning Theif even though I’ve already stolen from the gods) like this book that’s still covered in dust which doesn’t make sense logically.

Shoe flies into the screen for all the 3D movie watchers out there. Honestly, I miss when 3D did gimmicks like that.

Persephone fucking around is not her character. Other than possibly Hades (and, that’s from Ovid, a Roman, who put in a line about her agency rather than the original Greek tale) she’s a virgin goddess. She’s called Kore, The Maiden, before she’s Persephone. Like…what’s with all the sex stuff and tying NONE OF IT TO ZEUS!?

Look, the 3 pearls given by Poseiden being made the 3 stopping points could’ve…not sucked, except, the first few books are very much adventures. Like Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Or any of the Lord of the Rings. We start at Point A and we’re going to Point B and crazy things happen on the way to make it interesting. Those things are just super dangerous cuz it’s an adventure inspired by The Oddessy rather than a Road Trip movie where those things are comedy based.

Map will only show 1 pearl at a time, so how does Luke know how many there are? He could be lying. Also this is why Mrs. Dodds needed to teach you Math, so you could do 1+1+1 DOES NOT EQUAL 4 PEOPLE STUPID!

Also, to get the map to show you the next one, just say I Solemnly Swear That I’m Up To No Good.

And Luke gives them a shield that takes 5 seconds to fully open which isn’t helpful because we saw none of the kids using shields so they probably would suck with them instead of knowing how to use it in a fight/forget it has a timer and they die by being impaled before the shield can fully open.

47 minutes in and we’re JUST NOW getting to the quest. And YET! It felt like we were running through the first 10 chapters.

Honestly, don’t totally hate the Highway to Hell song because it’s super on the nose.

*Grover sees rats* “That’s nasty.” YOU’RE A SATYR! YOU WOULD PROBABLY BE HAPPIER TO SEE NATURE DOING IT’S THING THAN EATING A TIN CAN! Probably…tin cans are also very delicious.

Annabeth is also a thief, stealing from Aunty Em like that.

The woman’s overacting is…why?

Grover should’ve been stabbed with how Percy was holding that thing.

Uma’s decision to rub her hands together to project her evil instead of just…holding herself with the confidence of a villainess was certainly a decision.

Huh, even the movie doing the “Medusa was a pretty woman” story…and even reference that she hates his dad instead of having a sweet spot like in the book…

What, is she just that persuasive? I think her snakes are venomous, so, like, she could do that instead of just…standing there saying “look me in the eye when you know I’m fucking Medusa.”

Percy with the iPod is…regrettably iconic.

Uma running is…regrettably memorable cuz it’s that bad rather than the iPod.

If Annabeth was able to get out with the arm broken off, she should’ve been able to get out with the arm attached, but I guess we can make Grover actually helpful.

“I don’t have the lightning bolt!” Except, since we cut Ares giving it to them in Colorado and put it in the damn shield…YES YOU DO!

Why is Medusa hitting on, supposedly, a teenager! Medusa is a ephebophile and needs to die for that much more than killing a woman who screamed too much.

That truck should be destroyed to hell and Percy should be dead.

No black man is giving up the hoodie under the jacket. That’s not happening.

Medusa is also bisexual if they found the pearl on her wrist like that so she could leave Persephone’s Garden whenever she wanted/needed.

Yay. Everyone hates country music.

I’m glad they have money for a 2 bed motel.

Wow. I’m so glad Percy can heal others with water like he’s frickin Katara.

“It’s a recent thing that Zeus said Fuck Them Kids. Like, 15 years recent.” Yeah, that’s not…that’s not why the gods are deadbeats.

Grover, not so loud. You wanna tell the entire motel ppl that we’re here?

Everyone remembered this scene from the movie and the tourist in the book and decided that’s why the show was bad in waiting until St Louis, like in the book, to say Percy was a fugitive of the law. Instead of, just…a troubled kid with a dead mom.

“That’s what I’m talking about, Gabe always running his mouth.” You met Gabe for 2 seconds at the apartment. You are talking about nothing. Gabe is always nothing with you. You know nothing. Shut up.

Boy, I’m so glad they slept so they could drive again instead of sleeping in the car, being awake at the motel, and driving all night to be awake in the day. Ugh.

The Athena Parthenos is not allowed to be there cuz we gotta find it in HoO. That’s also not how it looks in Nashville so, like, that’s gotta be the real Parthenos.

People check the bathrooms and would’ve escorted you out.

Annabeth is a racist who goes to kill the black guy first.

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A CROSSBOW?! Since how does she know how to use a crossbow? Since why does she have a crossbow?

Surprised they’re not making a sex joke about groping Athena’s tits or something.

But…why would the hydra want a bolt of lightning? It wouldn’t even be able to use it.

Also, everyone’s seen Disney’s Hercules, and Winter Soldier is coming out in a few years. Grover also should’ve known that that was bad.

AND NOW SHE HAS A BOW AND FULL QUIVER OF ARROWS!

That’s a lot of water for a single water fountain.

Boy. I’m so glad they’re carrying Medusa’s head around instead of sending it to Olympus to get their parents to say “we see you, sweeties! We hate it, but we see you!”

And again, Grover saves the day and Annabeth only makes it worse.

“Several Continents” …you named 2, so it would be over those two continents. Also…how big is it? Is it as big as a mountain range? EQUAL to Europe and straddling the two continents?! ALL OF EUROPE AND ASIA?! Cause, honestly, it’d be weird, but a stormfront covering half of Europe/part of Asia at the same time wouldn’t be impossible. Storms be big. Europe be small.

I will say, points for the show to make it a real casino instead of an amusement park like in the book, cuz…that’s not really how casinos work. Like, they can have a really great secondary, non-casino part, but…a theme park like here in the movie and focusing on the arcade and making it massive like the book is…weird.

I’m gonna need Grover to be a little less horny.

That’s a lot of people for three teens. Instead of it being enticing, it’s forcing. Which…is not how the Lotus Eaters work.

The kids have never done drugs before cuz even the ones that make you happy don’t make you THAT kind of happy.

Honestly, still a great part of the movie, with Grover tearing it up. Get it, Goat Boy.

Percy, stop getting high. This is not part of the drugs, I swear. Percy. I AM YOUR FATHER, wait, Disney doesn’t own both properties yet.

Honestly, I’m expecting the lotus servers to ring security with how insistent they are. Like, damn.

Grover was about to have an orgy, cuz like, ugh!

“I can drive from Vegas to LA in 3 to 4 hours.” NOT WHEN YOU HIT TRAFFIC BITCH! And you will.

The sky doesn’t look like a massive storm cloud, it looks like really bad pollution.

Is Annabeth allowed to do anything? She didn’t read the sign. She didn’t help in Medusa. She BARELY DID ANYTHING in Nashville (not that she did much other than have a personality in St. Louis.) She was the same level of helpful in the Lotus Casino. Annabeth, why are you HERE?!

Grover, why are you asking Percy what anything about Greek Myth is? Again, Annabeth is the smart one!

Percy just gonna casually stab Charon and think he’s going anywhere? This is the Land of the Dead, boy! He cannot die! If he does, it just means a bigger back up in the waiting room.

I love that Death plays Charon. He’s such a good actor.

“We’re in a recession!” When are we not? Fucking American economy.

You know what, the Underworld green screen actually looks impressive. It’s well done.

“All lives end in suffering and tragedy.” This is not Hell. This is Hades. So where are the Fields of Asphodel? Where’s Elysium? It’s more than just the Fields of Torment! Tartarus is UNDER Hades. That’s not all Hades is.

Probably a super cute puppy! Nope, just 2 Hellhounds. But Mrs. O’Leary is so nice!

Persephone trying to hit on Grover is…I’m so done. Why Grover’s new personality gotta be horn dog?

I actually don’t hate Hades looking like an aging rocker look. It’s weird, but it’s at least a look. Unlike Zeus and Poseidon in the first scene with 0 style.

WHY IS PERSEPHONE SO HORNY FOR GOAT?!

“I was banished here by Zeus and Poseidon.” No, just Zeus. And you didn’t hate it. I mean, you hate it cuz it’s constant work, but you do a good job and would hate ruling the sea or sky.

Hades asking the real questions here.

Why is Hades backing out of the deal? Didn’t they see Disney’s Hercules?

“The only time I look forward to is my allotted time away from this hellhole.” You mean summer? Like, right now? Cuz you supposed to be top side, honey.

“Guys, it’s gotta be me, cuz I’m your protector…and also gonna bone a goddess.” I don’t hate him as Grover. I hate the writers for Grover.

How does Sally know where the entrance is, but still can’t get through? Also, another woman running up behind Percy or Annabeth shouting her lines annoyingly. Yay.

Wow, you’re really just gonna say that, huh.

“I was planning on giving the bolt to Hades the whole time.” Cuz fuck Kronos who we DID ESTABLISH VERY EARLY IN THE MOVIE!

This should be a much more intense fight between Annabeth and Luke knowing their history. But…it’s more of a Clarisse vs Luke fight cuz it’s weirdly choreographed and no dialogue to suggest they know each other.

“Why do you want a war with the gods?” Cuz fuck ‘em. “Control.” I…♪Everybody wants to rule the world♪ BUT LIKE! HE’S ALREADY APPARENTLY CAMP LEADER! HE’S ALREADY GOT CONTROL! WHAT WOULD BECOMING A GOD DO????

MISS! MISS! MISS! COME ON IT’S ULTIMATE POWER AND YOU MISSED 3X IN A ROW! MISS! HOW CAN YOU MISS? HE IS 3 FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!

Percy still should not be flying, but we need the battle to be more epic cuz Percy vs Ares isn’t cool enough and a sudden reveal is too subtle and intense. This final battle misses so many marks.

HE IS FLYING THROUGH A METAL BUILDING AND HE MISSED COMPLETELY! Luke is a terrible shot and just sucks. But apparently can throw a dagger at high speeds at a moving target, so he can aim, he just sucks when plot needs them to.

And there’s the movie poster.

And Luke should’ve been electrocuted, drowned, and died. He should not be alive. But then that would imply Percy is okay with killing people. Cuz Medusa clearly doesn’t count.

And another invisible wall. If she shouldn’t have been able to get to out, she honestly shouldn’t have been able to get on the elevator in the first place.

Look at Hogwarts, I mean, Olympus.

Party City called, they want $50 per costume.

“I have no connection to Poseidon.” I…clearly you do cuz you trusted him enough to help you get out of the Lotus Casino.

This Hermes looks like a loser and deserves Luke’s hate. Nathan Fillion Hermes is Nathan Fillion and still deserves Luke’s hate.

Zeus does not have power to bring back someone from the Underworld. That is not his jurisdiction! The gods can have overlap, 2 gods of war stuff kinda deal, but not fully take control of something that is their domain. Ares has fire eyes, but he cannot control the fire of the hearth. Hephestus and Apollo both make things, but the sun and the fire of a forge are NOT THE SAME!

AND THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER! THAT IMMORTALS CAN BECOME MORTAL JUST BY LOVING TOO MUCH?! LIKE?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Tiny baby horns means First Class Protector…that’s not how horns work! Zeus cannot grant a satyr the ability to grow the thing that he’s supposed to grown naturally and say it’s a promotion.

I’m so glad you left the camp where I’m training people to hopefully not die because I clearly don’t care about your safety.

Can Annabeth PLEASE fight with her hair up. “But it makes her look cool and effeminate.” It also means she won’t be able to se when it flies in her face. Like there. And there. And just know.“I kicked him out” she said. And yet, she just keeps the fridge with Medusa’s head and sees no problem with that? Had no plans on killing him with it, just decided that was going to be a better roommate than Gabe? I mean, I guess this Medusa knows how to go down on a woman, but her head is kinda limp and gross.

[wally-the-friendly-puppet]

🍎👻WH: Casper (1995) AU👻🍎

Creator: wally-the-friendly-puppet (me)

Yes, I am making a Welcome Home AU. Not sure what to call it, probably “Wally the Friendly Puppet” or something like that.

It's an AU of the 1995 movie Casper, they are not high school kids, but instead will be college kids to age them up. Wally will take the place of Casper, and Y/N will take the place of Kat. Home will either be Carigan or Casper's father, but I'm still deciding. Im not too sure about the other characters since the three ghosts, Casper's uncles, are kinda mean. They'll probably Sally, Julie, and Barnaby; Sally being Stretch, Julie being Stinkie (she doesn't stink don't worry lol), and Barnaby being Fatso. They'll just pull pranks and not actually be mean to Wally (he means too much to me for his friends to bully him 😭)

Eddie will be Dr. Harvey, Kat's father. So, yes, he will be your father in this AU. I figured that since Eddie is kinda clumsy and a nervous wreck, he'd be perfect for this character. Frank, sadly, will be Dr. Harvey's deceased wife, Emilia (it hurts me to make Frank dead. But if I had a nickel every time in an AU that both Frank and Eddie were married, but Frank is dead and Eddie is alive, I'd have two. Which is not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice *cough* corpse puppet *cough cough*).

Howdy will be playing Ben the college boy (don't worry he's nice in this role unlike Ben in the movie). Poppy will be a teacher at the college (teaches cooking and sewing). I'll have to make an OC for the bitchy girl that I forgot her name who is rude to Kat (Y/N in this AU).

🍎👻Here's the cast!:👻🍎

Y/N-Kat

Wally-Casper

Eddie-Dr. James Harvey (Y/N's dad)

Frank-Emilia (Eddie's deceased husband and Y/N's father)

Sally-Stretch

Julie-Stinkie (she doesn't stink lol)

Barnaby-Fatso

Howdy-Ben (college student)

(WIP OC)-rude college girl who doesn't like Y/N

Poppy-College professor (teaches cooking and sewing)

Home-(WIP) (Possibly Carigan or Casper's father)

Here are the rules for this AU:

Do's ✅:

-Fanart- I'd love to see art of this AU but keep it respectful, please. If you do make fanart and want me to see it of my AU, or just of my Sona, please tag me in it and credit me as the creator of the AU.

-Ask questions if you don't understand- It's okay if you don't know something too well, don't be afraid to ask (I think the best thing for you do to is to watch the movie for yourself to understand a but more).

-Fanfiction- As I said, I would love to see different types of art with this, not just drawings and sketches. If you do make fanfiction, please tag me in it to see it and credit me for the AU.

Don'ts 🚫:

-NSFW- I am a minor and not comfortable with this. Please keep it 13+. If I catch you making any NSFW art of my AU, I will block you. The same goes for me; if I catch you drawing any NSFW about my Sona, I will block you.

-Homophobia or Transphobia- I am a part of the LGBTQ+ community. So for you to disrespect the community, you are disrespecting me as well. I will warn you not to do this, but if you don't stop, I will block you. I don't want to harm anyone of the Welcome Home fandom.

-Racism- If I catch you saying anything rude or racist or white-washing any characters (if I ever do human fanart of them), I will block you. I don't want to harm any person of a different skin tone or race in the Welcome Home fandom and in general.

-Pedophilia- I know there characters in this AU are aged up for this reason, but there will be some children characters now and then. If I catch you saying anything inappropriate about the kids, I will block you. The same goes for me; if I catch you saying anything inappropriate about my Sona, I will block you.

-Tagging- I want to be tagged in stuff about my AU and fanart, but I don't want to be tagged in anything unrelated to Welcome Home, my AU, or anything awful. Please don't do that.

(This may change later on as this AU grows more. Please follow these rules and we'll be fine 🥰)