#screaming throwing shit i need to smash bottles

[bleeding-cyanide]

ugh. vent in tags cuz notes app is too far away just keep scrolling dw abt it

[cyborg-franky]

Prompt: hello friends! thank you for providing us with such a fun event, can it be April already? 🤧 if anyone of you feels inspired from it, can i request grocery shopping headcanons with Law, Thatch, Sanji and Robin? like would they scold you for buying too many sweets or do they leave you at the checkout to fetch something they forgot and you panic like when you did when your parents did the same? lol just thinking out loud 🤣 i’m sure i will love everything you come up with! thanks a lot!!

SFW

Repost of mine from libary of ohara

Chaos, she lives for it.

She will let you get whatever you want, she doesn’t mind.

If it’s Halloween she’ll add almost every decoration she can find in the store, deal with it, this is your life now.

100% takes all the free samples, she has many hands, a sample for each right?

She enjoys watching badly behaved kids run around and trip over, the delight on her face when the little shit walks into something.

A fun person to shop with, will always coax you into shopping at strange times of night because that’s when all the lunatics come out, she enjoys being around ‘interesting’ people despite how you cling to her when the guy arguing with the can of baked beans makes eye contact with you.

Neither of you is going to be the one that reminds the other you need more than coffee and Halloween decorations for substance.

BELOW CUT - LAW - SANJI - THATCH

-Every time he hears a child scream you can feel he has this look on his face even if you can’t see it. - Is the type to move someone’s cart if it’s in the middle of the lane. - Law is already mentally done with the trip the second you set foot in the place. - Hears a child crying and just nods his head and mumbles ‘mood’ under his breath. - You have to bribe him with coffee to get him in and to shop. - Has very few opinions on things but will be vocal if he doesn’t like something. - Tries his best not to throw hands at the next person who gives him and his tattoos a shitty look. - Sometimes you decide to leave him on the magazine row and do the shopping yourself. - It takes you both as a pair two hours of him dragging his feet and being unhappy to shop whereas it takes him five minutes by himself. - Just rooms everything into the cart regardless of if you need it.

Has like five shopping lists.

Spends like an hour caressing the melons and other produce to make sure he’s getting the best.

Will fight to the death with the man at the fish counter over prices.

Will fight to the death with the cheese guy if he thinks he’s being cheaped out on quality.

Will fight to the death with the meat guy who cut a piece with too much fat.

Just expect a battle over everything.

Also mansplains all the wines as you pass them, he gives you like an hour-long ‘pros and cons’ of this wine versus this when all you wanna do is get smashed this weekend on the £2.99 bottle of red with the clip art font on the front.

You can have whatever you want as long as he gets to check the label.

He will also fight you to the death if you pick up instant noodles or microwave meals.

Thatch is just an angel.

He might spend too long picking out bread, you notice how much his hair looks like a fancy loaf.

He can’t walk past the fruit section without picking up a pineapple and making a joke about Marco.

You beat him to it now, just to speed things along.

It’s you who needs to have a magazine to hand when he’s shopping in the hair care section.

He’s talking about how he needs like eight bottles of the £10.99 brand, or his hair will just not behave for him.

Puns, puns oh lord puns.

“We need to grab some buns” “I’ll give you some buns to grab” -EYEBROW WAGGLES IN 4D-

He’s fun though, he lets you have some bad things and treats as well as good choices.

Likes to use the cart to whiz along, enjoy a forty something year old man going ‘weee’

[writeyouin]

How about a platonic request? How would Mtmte Ratchet, Rodimus and Whirl react to seeing their normally quiet and reserved human friend losetheir temper and completely go off on another bot. They might be small but that doesn’t mean they won’t try and defend their friend if needed.

Transformers MTMTE / LL Reader Inserts – Flying Off the Handle

A/N – Here is the first on the headcanons list that I’m shooting out.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

Ratchet

Ratchet is a grown mech, older than most, and far too old to take this slag from a disrespectful young mech.

He’s about to go off on one of his old men tirades. It’s the kind that always makes the younger mechs feel ashamed, but you beat him to it.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You seethe, glaring at a bot six times your size.

“What?” The bot deadpans, looking at you like you’re nothing.

“Ratchet does everything around here. You would be dead if it wasn’t for him and you have the nerve to backtalk?!”

This is where Ratchet jumps in. “I expect nothing from fools like you. Get out of my med-bay. Go on, ”

The other bot leaves grumbling.

You’re still full of energy and wish that you had chance to expend it, but now Ratchet’s attention is on you.

“Don’t ever do that again,” He orders, worried about all the ways that could have ended badly and the ways in which you might have gotten hurt.

“But-” You start.

Ratchet holds up a servo, “I can handle myself. Don’t do it again!”

You wilt slightly, upset that you’ve offended Ratchet when really it’s the opposite, but Ratchet doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea. In all honesty, he’s proud of you. You’re brave, polite, and when push comes to shove, you won’t take shit from anyone. But you’re also human, and humans are delicate.

“Promise me,” Ratchet says sternly.

You nod, then excuse yourself from the med-bay. You want to be alone for a while.

Rodimus

Rodimus is loving this. One minute the two of you were having a laugh at “Visages” then a bot said something about Rodimus being a bad captain and you had completely lost it.

You threw a bottle which smashed off the big bot’s chassis effectively getting his attention and then you started ripping into him, listing off all the good things that Rodimus has done as Captain.

The whole bar is watching you. The music stopped, but the dance lights are still going, painting you in a variety of colours as you continue to yell.

Somewhere across the bar, Rewind is filming this, and afterwards, Rodimus knows he’s going to ask for a copy of that footage.

Still, there is a small part of Rodimus that knows he shouldn’t be enjoying this. He knows that it’s irresponsible. The bot could fight back, or seek revenge and you could get hurt.

But… He’s going to let you go off a little longer before he calls off the attack. He needs to hear why you think he’s a good captain. You’re his friend, and he has to hear you say it, because you’ll tell it like it is; you always do.

Yet, just in case, Rodimus is ready to grab you or plce his servo in front of you at a moment’s notice, just in case.

Yet for now, he needs this, and by the rage in your voice, it seems that you needed to blow of steam too.

Whirl

If Whirl had a jaw to drop, he would. As is, the only difference in demeanour is that his pupil dilates as he watches you scream at the bot in front of you.

It’s usually him that flies off the handle at things. In every instance that he has known you, it has always been Whirl looking out for you, protecting you, and yes, often irrationally losing his temper when there’s an offhanded comment made about you.

You’ve heard other bots insult Whirl before. Usually, they don’t get very far before Whirl throws a punch.

Yet, in those instances, you always remained calm, or hid if Whirl was fighting since that’s what he always told you to do because he doesn’t want to see his human pet hurt.

On the few instances that you thought Whirl wasn’t there, he’s heard you defend him to other mechs. He knows you’re always telling other mechs how good he is but you’re always being polite about it.

Yet this time, a mech said something and Whirl and… For the first time, he really didn’t give a frag.

It was a lazy insult anyway so he just ignored it, thinking about all the times he’s nearly gotten you into trouble.

But this aft of a mech isn’t letting this go that easily. Whirl is trying to walk away with you in tow, and this guy just keeps pushing him,

Yet, before Whirl can lose his cool, you do.

“CAN YOU JUST FUCK OFF?!”

Silence follows. The other mech doesn’t know how to respond. Everyone knows you, and you’ve never once shouted… Except for Mario Kart Rainbow Road, but everybody shouts at that.

You don’t stop. “WHIRL IS DOING HIS BEST AND YOU’RE FUCKING PUSHING HIM. WHY? SO YOU CAN GET A REACTION THEN PRETEND IT’S ALL ‘COS HE HAS A SHORT FUSE. FUCK THAT.”

You stop shouting but you’re no less irate as you continue your tirade about how this is the problem. Everyone is so set on how Cybertronians should act since everyone has long memories, but sometimes, people want to change and personalities aren’t set in stone.

In the end, the offending mech looks a little bit embarrassed. He mumbles an apology to you, and you correct him, telling him it’s not you he should say sorry to.

The mech very bitterly chokes out an apology to Whirl who is all too smug about this and makes a big performance out of accepting the apology, only toning it down when you elbow his leg.

The next day, you wake up to a leather biker jacket lying on your bed. On the back, scribbled messily is one word: Bodyguard.

[maovs]

best friend: chris sturniolo

warnings ; smut , p in v , abusing gf , crying , swearing , fighting , fingering , oral f receiving , gentle sex

summary: you have an abusive boyfriend and you go to your best friends house to explain the argument and he dosent have any of it

‘your such an asshole yk that josh’ i shout at my boyfriend

‘its not my fault you dont want to fuck me’ he says

me and my boyfriend on 2 years are arguing because he told me he was visiting his parents yesterday, when really he was fucking some slut he met at a club

‘listen josh i dont want to be with you anymore , you treat me like im worth nothing’ i say

‘what the fuck did you just say’ he said raising his hand before laying a hard smack to my cheek



‘ow you cunt’ i say grabbing my shit and running out

i grab my phone and call my best friend chris

y/n : chris , please can i come to your house josh just slapped me

chris: he did fucking what

y/n: he hit me chris please

chris; im borrowing matts car stay where you are i have your location

y/n: okay chris , thank you i love you

chris: love you to gorgeous ill b 5

he hung the phone up and i sat down on the side walk and pulled out a joint from my bag lit it and started smoking it a few cars drove by and shouted asking if im good

i had mascara running down my eyes and a hand print on my cheek

suddenly a black truck pulled up and i saw it was matt driving chris is passenger

im assuming matt didnt let him drive it

‘get in ma’ chris says opening the door for me

i step in throwing my joint and grabbing my bags

i lived with josh so now i have no where to stay

‘ you okay y/n’ matt asks me

‘im okay but it all started cause he cheated on me’ i say wiping my tears

chris hops out of the car leaving me confused

‘where is he going’ i ask matt

‘hes going to take care of josh for you , you staying at ours im sure nick will be so happy’ matt says rubbing my back

‘hes gonna kill josh ffs , but yeah i have no where else to really stay thanks for this matt’ i say with a smile

‘always , ive grown up with you we will always be here for you love’ he says

i give him a small smile and turn my head to see chris with bloody knuckles and a bloody nose

he hops in the car looking fuming as ever

‘chris what did you do’

i frown about to cry

‘ walked in and he had some slut bouncing on his dick so i smashed a glass bottle over his head and beat the shit out of him’

*time skip*

we arrive at there house and i walk in first seeing nick eating chips n salsa

‘omg y/n wtf happened’ he says giving me a hug

‘josh happened’ i say rolling my eyes hugging him back

‘girl if you go back to that hoe one more time i swear to god’ he says rubbing my back

i laugh and chris comes behind me and whispers in my ear

‘lets go upstairs beautiful’

i nod and hug matt and nick stepping up to chris room

i sit on his bed and he locks the door

‘should i show you how a real man treats his girl’ he says crawling over me

i shyly nod

as he takes my tank top of slowly

‘ill be gentle with you princess dont worry’ he says kissing my neck

i remove my shorts and bra leaving me in my panties

he takes his shirt and pants off

he kisses down my body as he reaches my wet core breathing his hot breath over my folds

his tongue slides up and down making me grip his hair

‘oh fuck’ i moan

he eats me like a starving dog

‘feels nice does it ma’ he says

his tongue goes inside of me so many times making my body full of pleasure

as his tongue flicks my clit he inserts 3 fingers into me sending me over the moon

‘oh im so close baby fuck’ i scream so everyone could hear me

‘yeah cum then gorgeous’ he says picking up his finger pace

as he said that my load covers his fingers and drips down his chin

‘i bet no man can treat you how i can’ he says taking his boxers of and putting his dick to my entrance

‘no they couldnt baby , please i need you’ i say grabbing his shoulders

he thrust his dick in my slowly and gentle but its not enough

‘mm faster’ i say as he speeds up hitting my g spot

‘did josh fuck you like this princess’ he says putting his head in the crook of my neck

‘no never’ i moan loudly

‘im close ma’ he says speeding up

‘me to chris’ i say clenching my walls around his thick cock

we both cum together as his hand travles to my neck slowly sqeezing

‘oh fuck me ma your so tight’ he says flopping down next to me

‘y/n’ he says

‘yes handsome’ i reply rubbing his cheek

‘do you want to be my girlfriend’ he says

‘of course’ i say kissing his lips

[ravenwitch45]

What if human s/o freaked out on Blitzo for attempting to murder a family along with the kids after he told her sounding like Moxxie?

Oh Lord. Yeah I could imagine if Blitz was dating a human then this could cause...some tension. Fun prompt, let's see how much fun it is for out favorite Helluva Boss shall we? XP

Blitz's Human S/O Freaking Out at him upon finding out about the Murder Family Incident.

Blitz rarely went into detail about his jobs. You knew about his profession for sure, it was something he was pretty proud of after all, but in terms of knowing his specific targets, you never knew much, and whenever you asked, you'd generally get confusion from Blitz on why you'd want to know about the Asshats he kills.

So you didn't know about the whole thing until one day when you were helping him clean up his office, cause he's a mess generally and get's distracted easily, and when your trying to dust of the shelf he does just that.

He slams his arm into it right above your head in an attempt to loom over you like a flirty bully but he causes the shelf to shake, rattling all the things on it, almost causing a glass bottle filled with water to smash right into his face before you catch it with seconds to spare.

Letting out a hearty sigh, intending to chastise him a little but your eyes go wide when noticing the large red eye staring back at you from inside the bottle, making you scream at the top of your lungs as you impulsvley fling it into the air in a panic. Blitz catching it before it hits the floor and putting it on his desk, asking your still very out of breath self if your alright.

You say your alright, before asking why in Hell he has such a disgusting thing in his office, the ferocity of which makes him surprised, before admitting it's a trophy of sorts, just receiving a questioning look in return.

So he explains the whole thing. Mrs Mayberry's explanation, Moxxie diverting his shot (Which he's still bitter about) The whole mess that happened afterwards when the family proved much more capable then anticapated. And then finally Moxxie coming to the rescue, killing Martha, the owner of the eye in the bottle, ending the whole explanation nonchalantly as he does.

That's before you let a shriek of "What is wrong with you?!" Going into a rant about how awful what he and the team did was, blaming him most for leading the whole operation. And of course, Blitz defends himself, noting how it's his job to do things like this and clarifying it was just the mother he was after.

You don't care though, saying it was still awful to kill a family, even if the intent was just to kill the mother, noting how traumatic it would be to lose a parent at a young age, unintentionally digging at his own sore spot making his face go even more red before he screams

(Shit! I posted this before I I was done! Hold on!)

"I could have fucking died Y/N! Would you have prefered that?! Is me being dead preferable to you compared to people you don't even know!? Is it?!"

You freeze, stammering before realizing you don't have a good answer for that at all. Before groaning as you storm out, telling him that you need time as you leave, slamming the door behind you.

He stands there, in shock for a good while before realizing he could have handled that a lot better. Massaging his temples before he catches sight of the bottle that caused all this, grabbing it by the handle and throwing it into the wall at full force, not caring of the mess it makes, before he sits down in his chair, and covers his face with his hands, trying not to cry...

Okay then! I know that was way more angsty then I usually go with these, especially for a fave like Blitz but wasn't sure what else to do, feel free to send in for a part 2 if you want and I'll figure it out then, or may do it on my own, who knows? But hope it was a good response. However Angsty XP

[caliburn-the-sword]

fhh ch35-40

another day another suffering cause of chloe gong lesgo

scarf and sunglasses look?? did miss chloe just reference the superhero disguise gag in the mcu of sunnies, cap and hoodie?? given she marketed the first book as like captain america,,, it's almost defo the case fvksdjfs

just the entire comedy bit about orion's big head fksdnfs

the way rosalind is inching closer and closer to figuring out that phoebe is priest

omg poor phoebe being approached by her mother's men RIGHT after expressing her abandonment issues

i really hope lady hong's men don't bring back rosalind's blood on the knife a sample for her to study and apply to her supersoldiers,,,

PHOEBE YOU IDIOT WHY WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF UP OMG

orion pov again. especially interesting now that he's more or less seeing rosalind in action for the first time

nation over everything? nation over everything, but never you, sweetheart. and yet here celia is, almost choosing not to sacrifice communist agents even if it means she can't save oliver, because of her principles, because she doesn't want to lie. god i love celia. stop giving her the hardest battles i can't take it

ROSORION KISS ROSORION KISS

"to hear a proper laugh and store it away in a place no one could ever take from him again." THAT'S SO KAZ BREKKER CORE I'M THROWING UP. HE WOULD HAVE BOTTLED HER LAUGH AND GOTTEN DRUNK ON IT EVERY NIGHT

orion likes to get bitten confirmed. kinky bastard. i love knowing where all those "rosalind bites people" memes were coming from now fksjdhn

orion IS a prettyboy

alisa is such a little shit i love her. you go you funky little cockblocker

phoebe's identity crisis and being three girls at once because of all the faces she puts on, not knowing who the real one is >>> there's a reason she's my favourite character i'm smashing my head against a wall again and again and again until a crack forms and brings down the entire roof of the house on my head

poor phoebe my eyes are actually burning i will NOT cry but my poor girl

"there was no such reality where Phoebe could have stayed in the shadows forever protecting Orion. Eventually, people had to face their own danger." phoebe is totally gonna expose herself at the nationalist base to save oli

SILAS WHAT THE FUCK. I AM GNAWING THROUGH SOLID WOOD AND METAL WITH MY TEETH. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN. I REMEMBER THE SILAS IS A QUADRUPLE AGENT THEORIES. BUT THIS IS WORSE. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE. HOW COULD HE BE WITH LADY HONG

phoebe's urge to go all priest on her mum for her betrayal -> she's gonna go all priest on silas. i NEED it

delulu is the solulu i will simply believe that silas is quadruple or quintuple agenting rn until it becomes trululu there is no way he's NOT on our side

"Maybe they ran into each other at headquarters," oh they've run into each other alright celia ksjdnfs (coping with humour is the only thing left for me to do without screaming)

hgdjhb i love orion he's such a little guy for enjoying the wires

"Rosalind and Celia may as well start taking turns on whose mission partner went missing." STOPPPP MISS CHLOE THAT'S FUCKING COLD

SILAS YOU MOTHERFUCKER. N O T H I N G ON PHOEBE??? MOTHERFUCKER. I'M FIGHTING HIM I'M FIGHTING HIM I'M FIGHTING HIM HE HAS NO BUSINESS GOING ON ABOUT THE OLI RESCUE AS IF WE WASN'T TAKING BLOOD FOR LADY HONG. AND THIS IS REALLY BOLD CONSIDERING I DON'T EVEN LIKE OLIVER

I HATE DRAMATIC IRONY THIS IS KILLING ME

silas seems genuine but i don't trust him. i fear he's also brainwashed as lady hong's little spy. he was in london with the others for very long. it would let her have eyes and ears in the two major forces in china, nationalists and commies. or maybe lady hong promised phoebe's safety. who knows

the fact that phoebe was called by her name for the entire chapter, only to be called priest at the end?? chills. also i'm dying

SILAS POV. MOTHERFUCKER

THE FACT THAT SILAS SEES THE MOON AS HE DRIVES TO THE NATIONALIST COMPOUND I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

SILAS IS A GUILTY BASTARD HE'S CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF IT

now celia sees the moon. i want to cry

omg oliver was hallucinating celia. that's almost romantic

oh shit japan is bombing

[blueicequeen19]

Double Cross

Warnings: unprotected threesome, cnc, anal, oral, the works

JJ advances on me in the garage. I quickly scramble away and around the truck he’s working on as he gives chase. My heart raced in my chest as I dodged all the scattered tools and parts on the floor to keep from tripping. I should’ve ran back into the house. Now I was trapped out here with him and he blocked the only exit.

“Come. Here. Now.” JJ barks, jumping up into the bed of the truck and over the side. I scream when he catches my arm and shoved me against the deep freeze, pinning me with his body. I can’t hardly catch my breath. My adrenaline was pumping wildly and my pussy was throbbing.

“Tell me he’s lying.” JJ bites out, glaring down at me with those big baby blues. I stuck my chin out as I glared back up at him.

“You fucked my sister.” I state and his jaw clenched.

“I was drunk.”

“So was I.”

“Goddamn it!” JJ turns and throws his fist against the truck door. Again. And again. I flinch each time. He turns around suddenly and sits me roughly on the freezer then plants himself between my parted thighs, ringed fingers digging into my flesh.

“Did you like the way he felt inside you?” JJ snarls, smashing his lips against mine. I almost give in. Almost. I don’t kiss him back and I push at him instead.

“Yea, I did. He has a big dick.” I spat and JJ laughs, fumbling with his shorts.

“You can tell me how big my dick feels with it buried in your ass.” JJ growls, yanking me off the freezer and spinning me around. He yanks my shorts and panties down before slapping my ass hard.

“JJ, don’t!” I squeal but he shoves my chest down onto the top of the freezer, smashing my tits beneath me.

“Stay still or I’ll tie you up. Your choice.” JJ snaps, slapping my ass again.

“You’re not doing anything without lube.” I cry. He laughs, walking away and grabbing a bottle of baby oil from a shelf. He turns back with a wicked grin.

“Don’t worry, baby. I got you.” My body trembles as he steps out of his shorts and pushes his boxers down. I feel the cold of the baby oil drip between my cheeks before he starts lathering himself up.

“JJ—.”

“Shh. Just shut up and take it.” I jump when his finger presses against my ass, little by little until he’s knuckle deep. I’m panting and whimpering. It’s foreign and it’s burn but my pussy is throbbing violently, begging to be filled.

“JJ—.”

“Take it, baby.” I cry out when he presses a second finger into my ass.

“Hey, J— whoa! What the fuck guys?!” I jump at the sound of Pope’s voice but JJ doesn’t stop.

“Shut up Pope and get over here and lick her clit.” My eyes nearly bug out. There’s a long pause before I feel Pope kneeling beside me. I meet his eyes but he just gives me a small smile before attaching his mouth to my clit. I cry out immediately, lifting up on my toes as JJ fucks me faster with his fingers.

“Don’t let her cum. Not yet.” I hear JJ say and Pope’s mouth slows on my clit, stealing my orgasm as JJ withdraws his fingers.

“Motherfucker.” I pant, my legs shaking with exertion.

“It’s okay, baby. Let me know if it’s too much dick for you to handle.” JJ pushes down on my back and starts to penetrate before I can comment back. It takes my breath away but just as quickly Pope is there taking the edge off. JJ could punish me all he wanted but I was going to enjoy the fuck out of it while he did.

“Oh, God.” I cried, my body trembling with the need to cum already. I started to shake harder and when Pope slid a finger inside my quivering pussy, I came with a scream.

“Shit!” JJ cursed, pushing inside me more. “That was just the tip. I’m not even in yet.” JJ rasps, spreading my ass cheeks as he pushes in more. I reach down and fist Pope hair, holding him to me as another wave quickly approaches.

“Fuck, you feel so good. Like fucking heaven.” JJ starts to ease in and out, making my eyes practically roll back in my skull. It was too much yet not enough.

“Pope.” I moaned his name and his eyes snapped open, looking up at me for a moment before adding another finger.

“Fuck, Pope I can feel you inside her.” JJ groans, picking up his pace. I reach back for something to hold on to and JJ quickly pins my arms to my back, fucking me harder.

“JJ—oh, fuck—JJ!” I cum with a scream, my knees almost buckling, curses filling the air as JJ cums deep in my ass. I sag against the freezer as JJ slips free of me. Pope stands as JJ finds something to clean us up with and wraps his arms around me to steady me.

“Pope, that was amazing.” I rasp, my heart beating wildly as he helps pull up my panties and shorts after JJ cleans me off. I needed a shower.

“You’re welcome.” JJ snaps, his jealous rearing it’s ugly head. I couldn’t help but want to push his buttons further.

“Do you want me to blow you? I’m sure you must need it.” I bat my eyelashes at him, almost laughing at his stunned expression. He looks from me to JJ and back.

“He doesn’t care.” I whisper, cupping Pope in his shorts and swallowing my surprise by what I find. His eyes widen as he swallows, looking to JJ again.

“Is that true? You don’t care?” Pope asks JJ. I don’t wait for his answer before tugging Pope’s shorts down to his ankles. I stay on my knees as they have a silent conversation and I pull his cock from his boxers. It’s slightly longer than JJ’s and just as thick. It would hurt like a bitch.

“I guess she owes you one.” I hear JJ say as I meet Pope’s eyes and swipe my tongue over his swollen tip. He hisses, bracing himself against the freezer. “But she doesn’t get to cum again. Her punishment isn’t over.”

[separatist-apologist]

The Enemy

I would make you the enemy if I could

Summary: In order to kill his most hated enemy, Azriel has to kidnap Graysen Nolan's fiance.

Should be easy, right?

Chapter 2/5: You've Got That James Dean Daydream Look In Your Eye | Chapter 1 | Read on AO3

For @elainweekofficial- I am not following the prompts (as no prompts can contain me)

Azriel slept like shit. Elain was silent when he’d expected screaming, vicious rage. More of that bottled anger she’d unleashed in the kitchen. The lack of noise kept him up, knee bouncing as he waited for the inevitable. Rope sat on the coffee table, taunting him. She should have smashed something, giving him an excuse to tie her up. Hatred blazing in those big doe eyes as a stream of curses and pleas fell from her lips. 

He couldn’t take it by four in the morning, and though he swore he didn’t care about her—because he didn’t—he still unlocked her bedroom door to check on her.

Just to make sure she was alive, he told himself. Rhysand would kill him if she injured herself, after all. It had begun to occur to him that maybe she’d found a way to hurt herself that didn’t make noise. Had he cleaned everything out of the cabinet? 

He found her curled up on the bathroom floor, cheek pressed to the cool, dark tile. No blanket, no pillow, just her body curved in on itself, arms over her face to block out the light. He didn’t know how long he stood there staring at her, trying so hard not to think about his childhood—of all the times he’d slept in his bedroom closet, foregoing a blanket because he didn’t think he deserved it, letting himself get used to the rough shag carpet against his skin.

Azriel had kidnapped enough people to understand whatever was happening with Elain was unusual. Some stupid, sentimental part of him wanted to pick her up and dump her in the bed. And another angrier, vicious part of him wanted to throw her over his shoulder and tie her up in the basement for feeling anything for her at all. 

Given he’d never been a good sleeper to begin with, Azriel returned to the kitchen for coffee before fishing out Elain’s phone. He needed her to send a text letting Graysen know she was safe and unharmed.

At least, for now. 

Also, Azriel was mildly curious about the woman Graysen Nolan wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Azriel believed Elain had to be just as bad as her fiance, if not worse. The media called them a power couple, and Azriel knew from experience no one obtained power by being nice. He wanted to see what Elain and Graysen talked about, certain he’d have his proof and could free himself from feeling bad for her. It was her big fucking eyes, he thought with a grumble. It made her seem sweet—innocent. 

He knew better.

Turning on her screen revealed no passcode, which he found odd. No thumbprint, nothing to protect whatever she might try to hide. Her background picture was her and Graysen, cheek to cheek grinning into the camera. He rolled his eyes as his stomach clenched. He hated Graysen, and Elain by association. 

She had a deluge of texts, nearly all from her fiance. Here it was, he thought. Proof that she and Graysen were evenly matched, that the woman who’d tried to sit with him with an easy smile was merely trying to manipulate him. 

Where are you? 

Answer your phone, Elain.

Elain, I swear to God if you don’t open your door. 

Where the fuck are you? 

Answer your goddamn phone Elain or I swear there will be hell to pay. 

On and on, text after text threatening her and pleading in equal measure. Azriel frowned, scrolling up to their last conversation. 

You look like a slut. 

Azriel blinked, thinking of every picture he’d ever seen of Elain. Clean lines, high necks, and skirts well past her knees. Slutty was hardly the word that came to mind.

Sorry. Would you like me to change?

Azriel suddenly felt gross, reading her messages. He closed out her phone and tossed it to the coffee table while pulling his feet closer to his body. If he shut his eyes, he could practically see a similar exchange between his parents during a contentious drop-off. 

“You still look like a whore,” his father had said, having caught his mother in a tank top in the hottest of summer months. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll change,” she’d said, even though they hadn’t been together in years. Azriel had been twelve years old and humiliated on his mothers behalf. She hadn’t owed him that and yet his father had broken her down so thoroughly, had scarred her so deeply that it was easier to yield than to stand up for herself. 

He let his coffee grow cold at the thought that he’d accidentally rescued Elain Archeron. Azriel was no hero, was not the good guy. He didn’t know what to make of her relationship, of which she was still firmly in. She still wore that ostentatious diamond around her finger. 

He didn’t have to wait long for Elain to fly out of the bedroom. She’d yanked at the handle, clearly expecting to be locked, only to tumble into the hallway.

He couldn’t help his laugh, twisting around the back of the couch to watch her scramble to her feet. 

“Ass,” she hissed, rubbing at her knees as she stood. 

He turned, waiting for her to make her way toward him. Elain’s eyes snagged on his coffee, body turning toward the kitchen. He didn’t offer her any, and Elain didn’t ask as she made herself at home. The clinking of cups followed by the sound of the refrigerator opening—and slamming shut when she realized there was no cream—filled the silence. 

“We need rules,” Azriel said when she finished. Elain had found sugar, and when he turned he found her liberally spooning it into her chipped mug. She didn’t bother to look at him, nor did she acknowledge him in any way. 

Obnoxious. 

“Let's start with—”

“I don’t think you get to order me around,” Elain interrupted with faux sweetness. “I’m here, aren’t I? Now you want to control everything else?”

“I’d like to avoid another tantrum,” Azriel snapped, rising from the couch. He leveled a stare that often made grown men’s knees quake with fear. Elain brought her mug to her lips and met it.

There was no visible terror, and Azriel couldn’t help but wonder if that was because Elain was used to living with a violent, capricious man.

He could have chosen to be better than Graysen—if he wanted.

But he didn’t. 

“Oh, well, please accept my sincerest apologies for not being your good, compliant little captive,” she said with eyes that made Azriel feel two feet tall. What the fuck was wrong with him?

“Forgiven,” he said dismissively as he stalked into the kitchen. Elain shrank a little, pressing her back to the counter at his approach. “I still have to live with you.”

Her smile widened. “Oh, that's awful.”

Azriel slid her phone over the island counter, not bothering to conceal he’d gone through her messages. Elain’s face paled when she saw Graysen’s name staring back at her. 

“Tell him you’re safe,” Azriel murmured, watching how her hands trembled as she reached for the phone. “Tell him I haven’t hurt you—yet.”

Her eyes snapped to his face, her bravado gone. “Are you going to hurt me?”

“Are you going to do what I say?” he countered. 

Elain typed out a quick message but didn’t send so he could see. Her message was unusual—almost clinical and so at odds with what other people typically typed.

I’m not coming home, Gray. I’m safe. 

Azriel sent it. Rhys would have let Graysen know they were holding Elain by then. Elain sighed into her mug of coffee, eyes glazed for a moment. Still holding her phone when it went off, Azriel was given the opportunity to read the text as it came in.

If anyone touches you, I’ll kill them. 

Azriel shouldn’t have felt surprise, and yet he was curious as he showed Elain. She expressed no emotion at all, hands wrapped around her mug as she blew absently at steam.

“You know,” he began, wondering why he was hedging around the truth. “Most people ask if you’re okay first.”

“Why would he care about that?” she demanded bitterly. 

“Why wouldn’t he?” Azriel replied, more curious than anything. If she was his girl…if someone had his girl, Azriel would want to know they were safe. 

Right before he ripped apart the world to get her back. Elain didn’t need to know that. 

“You went through my phone,” she reminded him, unaware that he’d only looked through her messages with Graysen. He didn’t care about anything else. Still, he kept his mouth shut as Elain continued. “He’s sleeping with other people—at least one, that I know about. I thought—”

She swallowed whatever she thought, eyes snapping to his face as she realized who she was talking to. 

“Am I supposed to feel bad for you?” Azriel asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Elain slammed her coffee mug onto the counter, unaware of how much he enjoyed her show of temper. 

“How am I allowed to spend my time?” she asked instead. Azriel lowered his gaze.

“In the house, however you like. I don’t care.”

He could feel her eyes on his face—he didn’t think he’d like what he’d find if he looked up. His own phone was buzzing with a text from Cassian.

Lead on Hybern. Tie up Archeron and join me.

Azriel knew he should. There was no reason to leave her standing in the kitchen, to inform her he had cameras everywhere—an objective lie—and he’d hurt her viciously if she tried to leave. And yet Azriel found himself doing just that as he reached for his leather jacket and boots. 

He couldn’t explain why he thought it. But as he slammed the passenger door, Azriel had the strangest sense that Elain wasn’t going anywhere.

That she was exactly where she wanted to be.

ELAIN: 

Azriel left with a snap of the door, locking it behind him. He’d assured her he would hurt her—holding a lethal looking knife as he said it—if she tried to leave. It was tempting to call his bluff, if only to see if she could manage. And once he was gone, Elain unlocked the front door easily and stepped onto the little porch to survey her surroundings.

He’d taken her up into the mountains. Getting down would require trekking the steep, icy roads and hope she wasn’t accidentally struck by a car in the process. She didn’t have snow shoes, either. Only heels and a pair of dressy flats that would be filled with snow the minute she tried.

Elain slammed the door shut, turning in a circle around the cabin. She could destroy it and face his ire—and risk him tying her up or worse. 

She had no doubt that Azriel couldn’t kill her, if he wanted. She wasn’t even convinced he didn’t want to, which depressed and angered her in equal measure. He was merely an extension of whoever Graysen had pissed off. In her fury the night before, Elain had torn apart that bedroom wishing it was Graysen’s face. Wishing he knew how angry she was—how angry she’d been for so, so long.

And as she imagined every hateful thing she’d say to him, and prepared responses for all his rebuttals, Elain had also wondered who he might have pissed off. It could have been anyone. It was that thought that had settled her into a sobbing sleep. Graysen’s cruelty extended well beyond just her and whatever he’d done, Elain suspected it wasn’t deserved. 

And maybe she was the perfect person to pay for his many misdeeds. Elain thought that, too—that she’d sat idly by, well aware of Graysen’s nature. She’d told herself she suffered, too, but Elain could leave. She could. Even if it meant fleeing another city, abandoning her life, her friends, her family…

Elain went to the kitchen, palms braced against the granite countertops. She couldn’t leave and she knew it. This was the closest she’d ever get before she was dragged back by a scowling Azriel, relieved to have washed his hands of her. Elain could only imagine the fall out—if Graysen saw Azriel’s face, he’d think…

He’d punish her for Azriel’s proximity, captor or not. 

Perhaps she could convince Azriel to take her somewhere else when this was all over. Somewhere warm, somewhere sunny and with ocean front access. She wouldn’t have the Archeron money anymore but Elain had a bachelor's degree—she was smart. She could get a job, make her own way like so many other people did. Maybe Azriel could fake her death, even—

She was losing it. 

There was no way he’d do any of those things, and no way Elain was brave enough to ask. It was all just wishful thinking. Her father wanted to see her marry Graysen and Graysen needed her to marry him. Practically, his career was dead if she walked away and her father withdrew his support. 

She suspected Graysen liked some part of her, outside of how useful she was to him. He could be so kind when he wanted to be. Elain often lived for those precious moments, working overtime to bring them back. That was the Gray she loved—the Gray she wanted to marry.

Elain twisted the engagement ring on her finger, slamming it to the counter. That wasn’t enough. She stared at the drain, but someone might fish it out. Someone might find it. 

Marching back to the front door, Elain flung it into the cold, gray gloom. She didn’t let herself track it, didn’t dare let herself see where it had fallen. Twenty thousand dollars, gone. Just like that. Someone else would find it, might sell it for a fraction of what it was worth, but Elain would never wear the hideous, ostentatious ring ever again. If she’d known where it was, guilt would have driven her to pick it up. 

She slammed the door behind her, retreating back to the warmth of the small cabin. If she looked, Elain bet she could have found a gun. Maybe a dagger. Azriel hadn’t hidden anything before he’d left and he seemed like the type who had multiple weapons within grabbing distance. She imagined him returning to find a gun pressed in his face—held by her.

And how even in her fantasy, she knew she couldn’t pull the trigger. That he’d disarm her and then make good on his threat to chain her to the radiator. Naked, as he’d said, though he’d spat it like the very thought of her unclothed disgusted him. So maybe she’d have her clothes, but she wouldn’t have her dignity, and Elain needed to maintain some pride.

She returned to the kitchen, intending to find a snack and watch shameless television until he came back. Upon opening the fridge, she found actual food—strawberries in a container and eggs and butter…and in the pantry, flour and sugar—all the things she needed for strawberry muffins. Elain closed her eyes and thought of the last time she’d made them.

How Graysen had let her, up until they were finished, and then had swept them all into the trash. She didn’t need the carbs, and neither did he. Elain’s eyes burned at the memory, of her hopes dashed as Graysen walked away, unbothered with yet another callous act. He wasn’t there, though.

No one was.

Not even Azriel, who had forbidden her from using a knife despite having a kitchen stocked with them. No one to yell at her or tell her carbs were bad for her or to put down the knife. Elain dug out a cutting board and a comically sharp knife as she assembled her ingredients.

She found, improbably, an Alexa. 

Alexa, call 911, she thought to herself as she plugged it in. She could have laughed at how easy she made it to kidnap her. And as Elain set the oven, she called over her shoulder the only thing she wanted in that moment.

“Alexa. Play Taylor Swift.”

AZRIEL:

FuckfuckFUCK.

Azriel slammed his scraped hand against his steering wheel. He’d been shot—twice—and was no closer to Hybern than he’d been when he left. And though those bullet wounds were shallow, dug out by a grim, bloodied Cassian with his own injuries. Azriel exhaled through the pain, gritting his teeth. 

The jangling of his phone cut through the stereo, silencing what Rhys had once called horrifically emo, even for you. Azriel answered, willing himself to keep the pain from his voice.

“Yes?”

“How are things going?” Rhys asked mildly. Azriel kept his eyes on the winding, icy road in front of him. It might be spring in Velaris, but up in the Illyrian mountains it was still the dead of winter. 

“Fine,” he lied. He needed a stiff drink and a sedative if he could find one. Barring that, he needed absolute silence for the rest of the night, which he doubted Elain would give him. 

“No problems with Elain?”

Azriel paused. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Good, good. Graysen is in a rage, but I expected that. He raided one of the warehouses at the pier.”

“Oh? Find anything interesting?”

“Just empty crates,” Rhys chuckled. “I’ll give it a few days before I reach out to her father and organize a ransom.”

Fine. Two weeks, just as Rhys had promised. Azriel merely grunted his response.

“Oh, Az?” Rhys continued in that cool voice. Azriel’s heart quickened at the sound. How often had he stood beside Rhys, listening to captives lie to Rhys’s face? And how often had he heard that tone, heard that same question?

“Yes?”

“If you leave her to hunt Hybern again, there will be hell to pay. This takes priority over your fucking grudge. Do you understand me?”

Azriel swallowed. “Yes. Of course.”

Rhys paused for a moment, and Azriel wondered if his brother was mad at the deception or at being left out. Azriel didn’t dare ask—not today. Another day, when Rhys had forgotten, when he wasn’t so irritated.

Those were the risks of being king. He had responsibilities, couldn’t run out on the drop of a dime like Azriel and Cassian still could. From the loud breath Rhys blew out on the other end, Azriel suspected it was the latter. 

“First aid is in the master bedroom in the closet. Maybe Elain knows how to sew.”

“Rhys–” Fuck him for not taking his own advice, but he had to know. “How did you know we were out?”

“Outside of the blood trail you left?” Rhys replied on the other end, his voice laced with amusement. “The alexa in the cabin has been playing Taylor Swift for an hour. Figured that wasn’t you.”

Fucking Elain. 

Azriel pulled in the drive, embarrassed and angry and radiating pain. He should have tied her up. Should have locked her in a closet until she sobbed and acted normal.

Acted scared. 

Azriel ended his call and cut the engine, dreading the moment when he’d have to stand. He managed, grunting loud against the howling wind. He was half on fire, cursing himself for rushing after Hybern without support, in a half-cocked scheme that was going to leave him useless and housebound for days. 

Azriel pushed open the front door, and just like Rhys said, Elain was listening to Taylor Swift. Blaring it, so loud it made the headache forming behind his eyes bounce. She hadn’t spotted him from the foyer, dripping blood onto the dark wood. He meant to bark something at her—shut that off, go to your room, what the fuck are you doing—

She was in an ivory sun dress, so out of place in the cold given the little straps that tied over her tanned shoulders and the lacy hem cut against a slim thigh. Half her hair was pulled from her head and tied with a pretty, blush colored bow while the rest cascaded gold down her back. She’d dug out one of Rhys’s aprons—the one that read ask about my sausage—and had a pile of muffins towering on the counter.

She turned, singing into a wooden spoon she’d just washed. James Dean daydream indeed, he thought when her spoon clattered to the floor.

“Alexa, off,” she managed, eyes as round as saucers. He must look pissed, for the color to have drained so quickly from her face. Azriel stared right back, waiting for something, though he didn’t know what. And while he looked, he realized that beneath the make-up she’d been wearing that washed her out, made her seem chiseled into perfection, that Elain Archeron was beautiful.

Stunning.

Ethereal.

He’d never seen anyone that pretty in his life. Azriel’s heart stumbled, his throat closing in the wake of those unadorned, wide, fawn-brown eyes. Freckles were splattered just over the bridge of her nose, likely from the time she spent beneath the sun. Pink lips seemed to curve upward, as though cut into a perpetual smile. He resisted the urge to look lower, to rake his eyes over her.

He hated himself for it.

She would be Graysen’s wife. She was marked, had chosen his greatest enemy and Azriel was standing before her, bleeding and injured and somehow still entranced by how beautiful she was. 

“What,” he whispered as his eyes swept around the room, “the fuck are you doing?” He wanted to punish her.

That was a lie. He wanted to punish himself for the constant weakness. For being caught off guard, for being shot, for thinking Nolan’s soon-to-be-wife was beautiful. Elain’s bottom lip trembled which only made him hate himself more. Why wasn’t she scared? 

“Baking,” she whispered. Azriel forced himself not to betray how badly his body ached. 

“Who said you could do that?” he asked, well aware he’d told her he didn’t care what she did. 

Elain’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears. He could see her dashed hopes—that he’d come back and she’d give him a muffin and maybe he’d thank her. He had the urge to shove them all onto the floor, to crush them beneath his feet until she never looked at him like that again.

Elain didn’t respond. It didn’t matter what she said. Azriel had already made up his mind. He strode toward her and Elain shrieked, though she didn’t move quick enough. With a grunt of pain, Azriel hauled her over his shoulder. This—this was good. This was what he needed. Elain was sobbing now, fists beating into his ruined back. Each new pound reverberated against his bones, sharp and hot and cruel. It was what he needed.

He was a monster and she was a princess. They had their roles and she needed to understand hers. Azriel forced open the basement door, taking the wooden steps quickly despite how badly his lungs burned. Elain was sobbing, and when he dropped her to the concrete floor, she threw her hands up over her face like she expected him to hit her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she chanted, the words a mantra he could see she’d said before. 

She scooted toward a wall while Azriel stood where he was, trying to ignore how spotty his vision was. Elain peeked up through wet lashes, her perfect face splotchy and swollen. Azriel opened his mouth to scream at her—though the words didn’t come.

Fear coated her gaze for the first time and for a miserable second, Azriel knew what his father must have felt like. The rage and the power and the utter insecurity, all battling for dominance. He went to her, knees curled to her chin. Elain winced when he crouched in front of her, betraying that, like his mother, she was too used to making herself small.

To weathering violence by someone much stronger. 

What could he even say? “I—” 

Elain looked back at him, her eyes drifting to his hands. It was the second time he’d caught her staring. He could still remember the last woman who’d looked at his scarred hands. How she’d flinched away every time he’d reached for her. Elain, still trembling, brought her eyes back to his face.

“You’re bleeding,” she whispered and too late, Azriel realized there was wet blood smeared along his fingers. She hadn’t been staring at the scarring at all. 

“I was shot,” he told her, ignoring how wild his heart was. 

Elain blinked away a few more tears, wiping her cheek on her shoulder. He just watched, trying to make sense of her. “Do you need help cleaning them?”

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he didn’t need help from anyone, least of all her. But the memory of how she’d tried to protect herself from blows not a minute before flashed behind his eyes. He couldn’t stomach anymore cruelty. Not to her, anyway. 

“Can—” he swallowed again. “Can you sew?”

She nodded quickly. Azriel rose to his feet, unable to hide a groan of pain. Elain was still at his feet, still red-eyed and nervous. He reached between them, offering her his hand. Elain hesitated only for a moment, looking up at him warily. Like she expected him to explode again, to lose his temper and drag her back to the radiator. 

Still, she accepted and Azriel pulled her up despite the shooting, white hot pain that lanced through him. Her skin was smooth and warm beneath his own, her nails coated in a fine layer of flour and now a smear of his own blood he couldn’t look away from.

She tried to pull her hand away but Azriel closed his fingers around her delicate wrist and yanked her just a little closer.

“Does he hit you, Elain?” he asked, his voice soft enough he could almost pretend he’d said nothing at all. 

She opened her mouth and Azriel silenced her with a soft growl. “No lies.”

“Yes.”

Azriel’s nostrils flared and the pain from his wounds returned. “Rhys is wrong. I should kill him.”

“Rhys?” she asked and fuck—had he let that slip.

“Up,” he said instead, nodding toward the stairs. It was only then that he remembered he was still gripping her hand. Azriel let her go—a mistake. He swayed and Elain caught him before he fell face first onto the same concrete he’d dropped her on. Maybe a few cracked teeth were what he deserved, then.

“Come on,” she murmured, letting him brace some of his weight against her. She was careful with where she put her hand, and patient though he didn’t deserve it. One step after another, encouraging him gently before they reached the landing.

“Couch,” he grunted, catching a whiff of sugar in the air. Azriel wheezed when she dropped him to the leather, hands on her hips. He’d stained her ivory dress splotchy red which satisfied him. He told her where the kit was and then worked off his leather jacket and then his shirt. He couldn’t see the wound in his shoulder, but the one against his ribs seemed shallow enough. 

Elain returned, eyes sliding down his tattooed body for only a moment. “Are those it?” she asked, dropping to her knees as he laid stomach first against the cushions.

“Seen worse?” he tried to joke.There was no amusement on her face, only a grim sort of determination. 

“Are there just the two?” she clarified softly.

“Yes, just the two,” he agreed. Elain nodded, and then got to work. Azriel jerked when the cold antiseptic stung against his inflamed skin, earning a whispered, I’m sorry from Elain.

Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.

He hadn’t meant to say it outloud, but she’d paused to look at him, her eyes wide and startled. They didn’t speak again. Not after she sterilized that needle and began pulling his skin back together. It took every ounce of Azriel's will not to make a sound. Even when his spine arched and his muscles locked, Azriel remained silent. 

He waited until she’d finished, sitting cross-legged on the floor and repacking the red tin box, that he asked, “What did you make?”

She didn’t look up at him, just as she didn’t look at her blood stained fingers. “Strawberry muffins.”

He exhaled. “Can I have one?”

“Yeah.”

She rose to her feet and Azriel tried to, too. Gaping, Elain asked, “What are you doing?”

“Getting…a muffin?” he responded. She scowled.

“I’ll get it. Lay down.”

He fell back dramatically, grunting in pain—and yet relieved when she returned a moment later with a misshapen muffin wrapped in pink paper. Where had she found it? “Is this my punishment?” he asked as she sat carefully on the far end of the sofa. He could have stretched his legs and touched her, could have scooted an inch and dragged her up to him by his calves. It was a tempting thought, even if he had no idea where it came from or what he would even do if he had her. 

“Punishment?”

He held up the droopy muffin. It was as close to an apology as he’d ever get. “Is this my punishment for…?”

“The broken ones taste the best,” she murmured, eyes flicking toward the dark television. “Everyone knows that.”

“I didn’t,” he replied, not daring to read into her words. Elain yanked the blanket from the night before down—the one he’d tried to sleep under while she’d cried—and spread it over her lap and his legs.

“What are we watching?” she asked, not looking at him. Azriel groaned softly as he fished out the remote. 

“Do you speak any spanish?” he asked, turning on his mother's favorite soap opera. 

“Enough,” she replied.

A thrill ran through him, tempered almost immediately. He didn’t dare smile, turning his gaze to the actors on the screen.

“If you get lost, I’ll translate.”

[deadwooddross]

gonna go ahead and crack pandora’s wasp nest open here—how could naruto have been good/how would u have written it

*begins chewing at my restraints and rips the iron door of my containment unit off its hinges* okay so the SHORT version is that naruto should have ENDED ssssomewhere around the Pain arc, maybe throw in one more, could probably keep..tobi...if you just make it WAY less convoluted, but. like that's it that's the wrap up on the lesson of NINJAS ARE HUMAN WEAPONS IN THE ARSENAL OF ENDLESS WAR. You can get maybe ONE more amp up, but the actual story did like 40, because it's shonen. Also Naruto could have had at least a LITTLE thought put into how he was like. raised. there is so much retroactive storytelling in this manga but apparently naruto has just been living in an apartment off his government provided milk and ramen since he was an infant. Maybe make me give a shit about Sarutobi by having had him go and bottle feed the demon baby or SOMETHING. Is Jiraiya the deadbeat sending child support checks or something? It's extremely hard to have Naruto exist at all as he is the second you put any thought into his childhood- which is why GAARA EXISTS. THAT'S NARUTO WITH 6 SECONDS OF THOUGHT. GIVE THAT BOY A FRIEND TO EXPLAIN HOW HE'S SO PEPPY!! SOME SORT OF GUARDIAN FIGURE BEFORE HE'S 12, Iruka could Almost count if he didn't act like he barely knew the little guy. Teacher Watches Orphan Go To Empty Home While Sad Flute Song Plays and says: Fuck that little kid, cant stand him, oh shit wait the author realized he needs one (1) parental figure in order to not lose his mind okay here i c Anyway, besides all that. Well for one thing Sasuke is RIGHT. Fuck Konoha! And the Government! did you see what they did to his clan!!! That one dude fucking HARVESTED them!! So you have little renegade fuck the system baby, and "If I'm king president I can fix all the problems!" baby. Good end: Naruto goes damn maybe u right and we should make some steps to try and alter the cycle of war and death and genetic eyeball supremacy. Neji voice: yeah i taught you all about weird bloodline family shit, remember that?? Bad end: The Entire Rest Of Naruto and Boruto, And No One Learned Anything. Also, the retroactive addition of GODS and PROPHECY anD REINCARNATION and MORE BLOODLINE SUPER WIZARD POWERS is so. Lame, Boring, Snore. Giving naruto a special baby background DESTROYS the fact he's kind of a nobody! He's just some kid with ONE skill he worked really hard on and he uses it in order to hack his way into doing all the other stuff he wants to do!! His only boon is haaving a LOT of energy to burn and STUBBORNNESS!! Screams in ADHD child Haku, Gaara, the Akatsuki/Orochimaru, and Pain. Are all good. Those are the arcs that stay and every one of them has a PRETTY STRONG POINT point about what happens when you smash children into little nukes. Eats that with a spoon. (PS JIRAIYA WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU LEAVE THOSE INFANTS IN A WAR Z) Oh also there's a lot to be said on how to rewrite uhhh literally Any of the women characters into relevancy because as they are rn they barely even count as such. But if i talk about that I would be here for the entire rest of the y- IMAGINE IF SAKURA'S FUCKING MEDICAL JUTSU MEANT ANYTHING!! WHAT IF SHE COULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL AGAINST KONAN BECAUSE SHE CAN SEE ALL HER NERVES IN HER HORRIFYING PAPER FLESH NO JUTSU, SOMETHING, ANYTHING, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *i am dragged back into my cell*

[wiltf]

rowan shouldn’t have been the one to find you, but he does.

careful with his movements now, while the glass makes that funky crackling noise under his shoes that would normally itched your brain just right. but the bottle in your hand, held against your head, has long since gone warm.

and you’re mad. sad. hurt, sore, scratchy throat and bottled rage and you want to scream all over again, yet you don’t know if you have it in you anymore. it all left you, all that real, raw feeling, when seven slammed the door behind him.

you’re an asshole and a shithead and the worst person in the world. voting no didn’t count for shit and you’ve lost your fucking other half.

so rowan walks in where he shouldn’t have. crouched down where seven would normally be. invading that space like on a whole other level. don’t open your eyes, don’t look at him, there’s mascara fucking up your tears and if you look, you’ll say.

nothing, really.

“jen, i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry.”

bite down that bile. that angry, broiling bile, that wants to tell him to shove his apology up his ass. grind your back teeth as you finally spare a look out the corner of your eye.

fuck, you think. my contacts. all messed up from all the eye rubbing you’ve been doing. somewhere in the back of your head now probably, just floating there. gotta fix that. gonna hurt in the morning.

maybe there’s something on your face, with how rowan settles now, rocking back on his feet until he’s landed, pulling his knees against his chest. still looking at you. can’t make out his face because you can’t see for shit, and seven had your spare contacts and glasses in his jacket, and he’s fucking gone, and you’re out here, crying your goddamn eyes out and—

breathe, girl, breathe. gotta treat yourself like a fucked up horse. in through the nose, out through the mouth.

“i—i just… it’ll work out, i know it will.” with the way he says it, it’s like he’s trying to convince himself. but he voted yes, and you voted no, so guess who threw his hat in the wrong ring. “we’ll get our shit together and smash out some new songs, revamp ourselves. relentless caller to—two point oh.”

“he chose that name. we need to rebrand.” god, you sound like shit. croaky and hoarse but it gets the message across. “can’t use his fucking name.”

“i mean… you came up with it too, right?”

something in the way rowan says that, like it is a harmless question. sure, hell, they both came up with the name. jennifer and seven, off to take over the goddamn world. scared shitless at sixteen by some telemarketer with perfect timing during a horror movie marathon. but it’s that niggling, itching thought. bubbling over. “kick him out the band, steal his name? was that the plan?”

“jen! you know that’s not true!” arguably, that shock was real. but you can’t see it, so who’s to say.

“could’a convinced me.” god, warm beer is gross. matches everything else about you. so much mascara on your hands. eugh.

“i am so sorry, seriously, i didn’t—we didn’t think he would take it that hard, i mean, he had to have known it was gonna happe—”

you don’t quite recall throwing the bottle, just seeing it shatter into a million pieces as it hits the brick fence. sway to your feet, and you are. a shithead. an asshole. a bitch and a liar. you are the worst person in the world but you stare down at rowan, in that moment, and sure. your heart was broken into more pieces than that bottle, and you’ve spent the last few hours going over it all in your head.

but,

“don’t. you fucking. dare.”

“hey, jen, come on—“

“no, rowan. don’t you dare say that shit to me. what we did to him? what we did to seven? i will never forgive myself for it. so you better take that back, and you better make this shit,” a point now, to the finger he’s sporting, with that goddamn logo staring up at you, “worthwhile. or i am done.”

because, as you turn, you remember. it’s the way it all came down, drowning out your ears. how they tried to convince you, really tried. how your voice appealed more, and how you were more palatable. seven was too hit and miss and people wanted you, not him. a mix of pleasantries and backhanded compliments.

the party stopped somewhere between the screaming and the crying. people had long since filtered out, and those who remained were sitting in awkward drunk silence. watching you, as you stumbled through, throwing back a red cup of something that burns all the way down. two — no, three — more beers.

you’re gonna drink and maybe litter on the way home. and cry and wail and sing at the goddamn top of your lungs. tempted to stand under his window with a boombox that you don’t have.

the beer tastes gross. you manage to rub one of your contacts back around. but your feet carry you home, because someone has to be sad and responsible. and your key clicks in place, no one else is home, but there’s that stupid keychain he bought you, and it’s his posters on your walls, and his shirt that you sleep in.

and you think you deserve this, this fucked up reality where you won’t be able to really ever leave it behind.

after all, you may have voted no. but you never considered walking at the first suggestion.

[unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin]

Can I request Eddie Kingston for the yandere #5 prompt? Him… oh he’s gone now

Prompt: him… oh he’s gone

Taglist: @fiskers7136 @peachmango-kombucha @kcloveswrestling @bellalutionn @xkennyxomegax @tummyyellin @legit9thlunaticwarrior @auburnwrites @melissahausen @thesusbunny @writtingrose

Warnings: Yandere behavior, hinted at stalking, admitting to murder, kidnapping

An: this isn’t super long since I couldn’t think of a full oneshot for this

You didn’t know what to do. It had been three weeks since your husband disappeared, and the police had officially dropped the case. They decided there was no foul play, and there for he had just left.

‘It’s time to dafe the facts. He simply left you’

So many people had said it to you over this time, but when the police told you that? It broke you.

You were at the table, a bottle of wine with no cup on the table. You didn’t just want to get drunk; you wanted to forget. As you took a swig you could hear someone drive up to the house. You sighed while glancing out the window, expecting to see a friends car or something. Instead, it was your husbands truck.

“Holly shit…” you mumbled. The bottle slid from your hand and smashed on the ground while you ran towards the door to yank it open. You ran outside, but came to a stop when someone else got out of the car. One of your brothers friends… Eddie you think his name was.

“Where is He?” You called out, watching as he walked towards you.

“Him…oh! Ya, he’s gone now.” You frowned at his words, taking a step back.

“What?”

“I would have come back sooner, but I had to wait for the investigation to be dropped. To suspicious for your husband AND you to go missing.” He explained, not that it made a lot of sense to you.

“What did you do?” He final got to you, grabbing your arm to stop you from moving away from him.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t actually want answers to,” he practically spit at you. “Now come on, it’s time to leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you!” You attempted to yank your arm away, which just caused him to grip tighter and yank you to his chest.

“Sweetheart, I killed your husband so I could get to you. You’re getting in the fucking car,” he snarled. When you still didn’t move he grabbed you, throwing you over his shoulder and walked towards the truck. You screamed, hitting him and trying to escape, but it was no use. His grip was strong, and you lived in the country. No one would hear you.

“Your lucky I like ‘em feisty,” he chuckled throwing you into the back seat. “But if ya piss me off to much I’ll put a bullet on your head.” He glanced back at you through the mirror. You looked at him, but didn’t make any more to try and get out of the car. “Glad we came to an understanding.”

“I would have been here sooner, but I needed the case to be dropped

[imonawholedifferentlevel]

𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ʏ/ɴ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴀɴᴋꜱᴛᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇꜱꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ꜰᴜɴɴʏ, ꜱʟɪɢʜᴛ ꜰɪɢʜᴛɪɴɢ, ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀʜᴏᴏᴅ, ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ᴄᴜʀꜱɪɴɢ

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢꜱ: ᴄᴀʀᴏʟ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (ᴘʟᴀᴛᴏɴɪᴄ)

ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ: ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ

I heard the sound of stomping footsteps coming up the stairs and I smirked when the doorknob violently turned and the person tried to open the door only for it to be blocked by the chair.

"Y/n, open the damn door! I know you have my fucking jawbreakers you little cunt!" I heard my big sister Carol yell from the other side of the door, if you thought her and Barbra's fights were so bad, you definitely haven't seen ours.

I'm the second youngest in our family, being older than Debbie by a year, but younger than my older sisters by six and seven years. I was the prankster of the family, pulling pranks on everyone in the house and I absolutely enjoyed it.

Me and Debbie were the golden children, which made Barbra and Carol despise us well, mostly me, because I loved making them angry.

But out of everyone in the family, I'm more notorious for picking fights and doing pranks on Carol, since the girl had huge anger issues and was easy to piss off.

There were times when we both ended up getting into multiple fights. Although she wins them, I still get a good few punches at her.

But no matter how much we argued and fought, I knew I was her favorite sibling.

I have been a tough one since growing up, but not in a good way. I had a good relationship with my mom, but not with my dad, who also has anger issues but is way more violent with Barbra and Carol.

There was one time when I came down stairs and saw him beating on Carol. I ended up jumping in and smashing a glass bottle over his head.

After that day, we didn't have a good relationship, but everyone else in the house I was good with.

"I don't know what your talking about?" I said with the innocent voice that I knew pissed her off "Y/n, I swear to god if you don't give me my shit back I'm gonna kick your ass into a coma!" she sneered, banging on the door.

"Girl go stomp the yard with those big ass boots, your not gonna do monkey shit" I replied, rolling my eyes and took a jaw breaker out of the bag and put it in my mouth.

"These boots might be big but your gonna get these size sevens right across your head"

"OK big foot!" I scoffed and turned up the radio, smirking at the sound of her yells of anger as she tried to push the door open.

"I'm telling you right now when I get in that room I'm gonna kick your ass and I don't care about you being smaller than me!" She exclaimed, pushing the door, but to no avail.

"And I'll kick your ass right back, so instead of worrying about me you need to worry about giving the garbage man his boots back" I laughed out, moving the jawbreaker to the other side of my mouth.

But that laughter quickly disappeared when the chair fell to the ground and the door swung open to reveal Carol. Her face was red and she definitely looked like she wanted to kill me. I chuckled nervously and grabbed the jawbreakers.

"Hey sissy, you know I didn't mean what I said", I said, but within a second she lunged at me. I yelled out in surprise and jumped on the bed, dodging her attack, and I quickly jumped off and shot out of the room and down the stairs, hearing her right behind me.

"Coming through! Sorry Barb!" I squeaked, shoving Barbra to the side.

I used everything I could to dodge her grabs at me, kitchen counters, chairs, sofas, anything because I knew once she caught me my ass was grass.

I was gonna run back upstairs when I felt an arm wrap around my neck and put me into a head lock.

I struggled trying to get out of her impossibly strong grip, "Give them back!" Carol yelled, trying to reach for the jawbreaker's jawbreakers, but I flung us to the ground and pulled her hair, making her scream in pain.

We were rolling around throwing punches, pulling hair, and yelling at each other while Barbra watched in amusement and Debbie was trying to stop us, but it all stopped when the doors opened, revealing our parents with groceries in their hands.

We were still rolling around until the voice of our mom stopped us in our tracks. "Carol and Y/n Denning stop this instant!!" We turned our heads to the door and finally saw them and they did not look happy.

I smiled widely and got off, Carol not forgetting to give her a swift but slick kick to her side which made her glare at me and my smile got wider, "Hi mommy, how are you!" I said.

"I'm fine and you are both grounded. Go to your rooms" she said, and walked past us to the kitchen with dad following behind her.

My smile dropped into a pout and I stood back up just in time for Carol to snatch her candy from my hands. "Touch my shit again and I'll break your damn nose". I smirked and got closer to her. Our faces inched from each other's.

"OK carpet muncher", I said looking into her matching eyes. She growled and stormed up the stairs "I'm definitely her favorite", I thought, crossing my arms with a smug look and going upstairs to my room.

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Misadventures of The Solars Scene: “A Monstrous Change for Terry”

Terry sighs as he starts playing a video tape, which he thought was “Get Smart” but it turns out to be footage from his trip from Las Vegas. Terry groans in frustration.

Terry: This isn’t “Get Smart”! What the hell? *sighs in frustration* Better fast forward through this.

The footage fast forwards and then it stops, where is shows the part when Terry was doing poker at the betting card game.

Terry: Whoa! I did that? I bet I had a blast.

Terry looks at the footage closely but then…

Terry: *on footage; takes a deep breath* Easy mode. This is just like in the solo. I call and raise you… *throws the ships keys* An actual spaceship!

Terry gasps.

Terry: Wh-what? *drops his bottle of Mountain Dew*

Terry: *on footage; after losing bet to woman* Holy fuck… well at least no one will ever see this.

A heartbeat is heard. Terry pauses the tape as he began to realize in horror what he has done.

Terry: Oh my God… what have I done…

Terry starts breathing heavily before screaming in rage

Terry: WHY THE FUCK DID I THAT?!

Terry gets onto his knees and repeatedly punches the ground

Terry: GRRRR! I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I DID THAT! NOW EVERYONE IS ON EARTH-4 BECAUSE OF ME!

Terry cries hysterically as his eyes turn orange

Terry: Oh God… I really fucked things big time…

Terry's fingertips turn black

Terry: *looks down at his fingertips and gasp in horror* Wha-what the fuck’s happening to me?!

Terry gets monstrous fangs as his skin turns black.

Terry: *screams in horror*

Terry grows bigger and muscular as he cries out in pain

Terry: *breathing and out as his growing body and his muscle growth causes his clothes to tear apart in pieces while looking at his hands* HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Terry roars in pain

Terry: *voice deepens as he breaks down in tears* Someone Help Me! *crying* Please… Anybody… Help me…

Terry roars as he finishes transforming and pants.

Monster Terry: *in his thoughts; repeating the last words he spoke* Someone Help Me! *crying* Please… Anybody… Help me…

Monster Terry roars and bangs his chest. He then looks at the city and smashes through the walls as he roars. The scene then cuts to the Replicants, Pupa and Replicant Sonya watching the news.

News Reporter: Breaking News Tonight! A huge black monster alien has just been spotting tonight while unknowingly wreaking havoc, such as cravings for meat, citizen attacks and very loud roars

Replicant Sonya: *recognizing the monster* Whoa! Look at Terry! He’s having a cow man!

Jesse gasps

Jesse: Oh no! Guys! We have to go find him!

The Shlorpian gang comes in.

Shlorpian Cheery: What is happening?!

Yumyulack: Why?

Shlropian Cooke: Because the news said there is a fucking monster on Earth-4!

Jesse: No! It’s okay! That’s Terry! We have to go help him!

Replicant Sonya: C'mon! Let's go!

The scene cuts to the woods where the gang (except for Korvo, he is not here in this scene) starts calling out for Terry.

Shlorpian Gang: Terry! Terry, where are you?! Terry?! Here Terry Terry Terry?! Where the fuck are you green ass! Oh good we miss you so much!

Human Jesse: Oh God, I hope he’s okay!

Shlorpian Nova: Man I hope so too!

A roar is heard

Human Yumyulack; Uh guys… di-did you hear that?!

Shlorpian Ms. Perez: I sure did and that doesn’t sound too good.

Another roar is heard. The gang starts back away in fear and caution backwards

Shlorpian Randall: O-okay no need to panic *loud footsteps are here* we just need too… *something appears behind him and his friends*

The gang turns around in fear and it turned out to be Monster Terry.

Shlorpian Gang: Oh shit! Whoa! *exclaims in horror* Oh!

Shlorpian Randall screams like a girl

Human Yumyulack: Oh my God! Terry, what the fuck have you done to yourself?!

Monster Terry roars and attacks the group

Shlorpian Randall: Oh fuck! I know what that means! We’re fucking lunch!

Shlorpian Trevor: Run guys run!

The Shlorpian gang runs for their lives as they head out of the woods with Monster Terry running after them like a savage animal. But then, Human Jesse trips on a rock and falls on her knee. Human Yumyulack gasps and runs up to his sister.

Human Yumyulack: Jesse!

Human Jesse: *sobbing*

Human Jesse cries in pain.

Shlorpian Sonya: Oh no! Sis! We have to get the out of here before-

Monster Terry finds the kids and snarls at them, which made Human Jesse sob harder.

Human Jesse: *tearfully* TERRY!

Monster Terry roars but then…

Human Jesse: *sobs harder* DADDY, STOP!

Monster Terry stops

Monster Terry: *murmuring upon seeing Human Jesse crying*

Monster Terry picks up Human Jesse

Monster Terry: *making soft noises upon seeing his daughter hurt*

Human Jesse: T-Terry?

Monster Terry purrs and looks at Human Jesse and wipes the tears off of her eyes with his hand. Monster Terry struggles to form words.

Replicant Sonya: Aw he miss us guys. But is he struggling to talk?

Human Yumyulack: Don’t know…

Monster Terry: J...J...Jesse?

Human Jesse: *gasp* Terry! *hugs her father while crying*

Monster Terry: It's okay, baby. I'm okay...

Then, Monster Terry sees brights lights and music.

Replicant Sonya: What is it daddy?

Monster Terry leaps up while carrying human Jesse and looks at a music performance happening at a Tiki restaurant.

Human Jesse: Uh guys, I think Terry has gotten interested to something.

Shlorpian Frankie: Well, we better follow him.

[library-of-ohara]

hello friends! thank you for providing us with such a fun event, can it be April already? 🤧 if anyone of you feels inspired from it, can i request grocery shopping headcanons with Law, Thatch, Sanji and Robin? like would they scold you for buying too many sweets or do they leave you at the checkout to fetch something they forgot and you panic like when you did when your parents did the same? lol just thinking out loud 🤣 i'm sure i will love everything you come up with! thanks a lot!!

Request fulfilled by @cyborg-franky

Robin

Chaos, she lives for it.

She will let you get whatever you want, she doesn’t mind.

If it’s Halloween she’ll add almost every decoration she can find in the store, deal with it, this is your life now.

100% takes all the free samples, she has many hands, a sample for each right?

She enjoys watching badly behaved kids run around and trip over, the delight on her face when the little shit walks into something.

A fun person to shop with, will always coax you into shopping at strange times of night because that’s when all the lunatics come out, she enjoys being around ‘interesting’ people despite how you cling to her when the guy arguing with the can of baked beans makes eye contact with you.

Neither of you is going to be the one that reminds the other you need more than coffee and Halloween decorations for substance.

Law -Every time he hears a child scream you can feel he has this look on his face even if you can’t see it. - Is the type to move someone’s cart if it’s in the middle of the lane. - Law is already mentally done with the trip the second you set foot in the place. - Hears a child crying and just nods his head and mumbles ‘mood’ under his breath. - You have to bribe him with coffee to get him in and to shop. - Has very few opinions on things but will be vocal if he doesn’t like something. - Tries his best not to throw hands at the next person who gives him and his tattoos a shitty look. - Sometimes you decide to leave him on the magazine row and do the shopping yourself. - It takes you both as a pair two hours of him dragging his feet and being unhappy to shop whereas it takes him five minutes by himself. - Just rooms everything into the cart regardless of if you need it.

Sanji

Has like five shopping lists.

Spends like an hour caressing the melons and other produce to make sure he’s getting the best.

Will fight to the death with the man at the fish counter over prices.

Will fight to the death with the cheese guy if he thinks he’s being cheaped out on quality.

Will fight to the death with the meat guy who cut a piece with too much fat.

Just expect a battle over everything.

Also mansplains all the wines as you pass them, he gives you like an hour-long ‘pros and cons’ of this wine versus this when all you wanna do is get smashed this weekend on the £2.99 bottle of red with the clip art font on the front.

You can have whatever you want as long as he gets to check the label.

He will also fight you to the death if you pick up instant noodles or microwave meals.

Thatch

Thatch is just an angel.

He might spend too long picking out bread, you notice how much his hair looks like a fancy loaf.

He can’t walk past the fruit section without picking up a pineapple and making a joke about Marco.

You beat him to it now, just to speed things along.

It’s you who needs to have a magazine to hand when he’s shopping in the hair care section.

He’s talking about how he needs like eight bottles of the £10.99 brand, or his hair will just not behave for him.

Puns, puns oh lord puns.

“We need to grab some buns” “I’ll give you some buns to grab” -EYEBROW WAGGLES IN 4D-

He’s fun though, he lets you have some bad things and treats as well as good choices.

Likes to use the cart to whiz along, enjoy a forty something year old man going 'weee'

[finelinevogue]

Obsessed with your imagines you so when they have 3 kids and they’re all older! What about one where Harry has to have a sex talk with his kids OR y/n and Harry come home to find their kids throwing a party? I think both could be super funny

this has me excited cause i love the idea of them throwing a party when y/n and harry are at date night!! (does contain smut)

oli - 21, felix - 19, belle - 16

“We’re so fucking screwed.”

“Belle, for the millionth time, chill the fuck out.”

But how the fuck was anyone supposed to be chill when there was a full-on house party, close to being a rave, occurring in their house? A house that was their mum’s life work. A house party that their parents new nothing about. A night where absolutely anything and everything could go wrong.

The three siblings stood at the bottom of the stairs, in front of the door, looking around at the scenes occurring between each room. There were girls whispering to each other on the sofas, there was a group of guys playing beer pong in the kitchen and there was a large group of people hanging around by the pool and some even taking a dip. What had meant to be a low-key party had managed to turn into the whole neighbourhood plus the next town over. It was completely overboard.

“Who’s idea was this again?” Belle asked, clearly not understanding the full reasoning behind a full fledged party in their house.

“All of ours.” Oli responded, when in reality it was really just his, and a bit of Felix, idea.

“Nope. I’m not getting grounded because you two dickheads wanted to be rebels.” Belle put her hands up as if to stop this whole situation. She did not want to be a part of this and yet had somehow got screwed up with it all.

“So what are you going to do?” Felix asked.

“Anywhere where this doesn’t have my name stamped all over it.” Belle gestured around her, all of them groaning when they heard something smash from a nearby room. They were actually going to be locked up forever after this.

“Belle, mum and dad are out for the night. Dad said he booked a hotel for them to stay over at, so they won’t even be back until tomorrow morning.” Oli explained, trying to calm down his very nervous sister.

“Yeah, plus if you’re so insistent on leaving why did you get so dressed up?” Felix did have a point. Belle had gone through the effort tonight to be looking as best she could. She was sporting a little black dress with black fishnet tights and her trusty Doc Martens. It was a very colourful outfit, as she would explain. Belle had even gone to the effort of adding glue-on gems to her makeup. Whereas her brothers were just wearing sweaters and trousers and trainers. Typical teenage boys.

“I’ll bet that’s why.” Oli nodded behind Belle and smirked as he watched his little sister turn around.

Megan Dover. Belle’s high school crush and cleverest person in the year. Felix and Oli caught Belle blush when their little sister looked at Megan, waving to her cutely. Belle was a lot more introverted than Megan, but Belle didn’t mind. She admired that Megan was so outspoken and kind and smart, but too bad they didn’t truly know of Belle’s existence. At least, not really.

“Alright fine, i’ll stay, but just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Belle rolled her eyes and then walked off in the direction of the kitchen - if she was ever going to speak to Megan she’d need at least 4 shots in her system.

“Be safe little B.” Oli waved her off and then the two brothers looked at each other knowingly. “Is Heather here?”

“Not yet no, think she’s coming with the girls in a bit.” Felix checked his phone as his brother questioned him. “What about Bea?”

“She’s upstairs.”

“Why? I thought we weren’t allowing anyone upstairs?”

“Dude she’s my girlfriend, I think she gets a pass.” Oli patted his brothers back and then saunters up the stairs two at a time to go and find his girlfriend and reintroduce her to the party.

Another smash of something glass sounding came from the kitchen, along with a turn of screams and mumbles of oops.

“Fuck, we are so screwed.” Felix muttered under his breath as he made his way to the kitchen to clean up whatever was now broken.

••••

Meanwhile, you and Harry were basking in each other’s presence at a fancy new restaurant downtown called Caste Inn.

Harry decided it was time for you to have a treat and so was taking you out for dinner and then retreating to a fancy hotel, where he would not let you rest for the whole night. He was already being really handsy this evening, but you kept swatting his prying hands away because you were in public.

“Babe, c’mon i’m dying here!” He whined as you swatted his hand away from the skirt of your dress for the fifth time since mains. You were lucky you were in a crescent shaped booth so it was hard for anyone to see what was going on underneath the table, but you still felt so exposed.

“Quit it Harry.” You sniped, returning your attention back to the desserts menu. The restaurant was that kind of place where the portions are sparrow sized and yet cost you as much as it would to donate a kidney, so there was no surprise that you were still hungry and had room for dessert.

“Just wanna love on my wife.” He pouted next to you, keeping his arm slunk around the back of the booth to continue to caress your far shoulder delicately.

“We’re in the middle of a restaurant, you’re crazy.” You snickered, trying your hardest to focus on the desserts; Tiramisu, Chocolate Orange Gateau, Pecan Pie, Creme Brulé and an endless list of more mouthwatering yumminess.

“Fucking crazy for you, yes.” He kissed your cheek once, twice and then bit it too on the third, making you moan slightly at the exposure of it all. “You used to let me do this kind of thing all the time, what happened hey?”

“I got old.” You laughed, but really you felt saddened by the thought of it. You were approaching your forties and you felt as though time wasn’t on your side anymore. Life was all flying by so fast and it was becoming so hard to stop it for a moment to see how beautiful it all is. Harry could tell you were faking your happiness in that moment and he hated that you felt this way. He loved you. He would worship the ground you walk upon. Nothing would ever be too much of an ask for him if it meant keeping your happy. Yes, you were getting older, but it didn’t mean that was a bad thing. At least you were getting older together and becoming maturer together.

“Talk to me, love.” He gently asked, knowing there was something on your mind that was bothering you.

“I just… I just feel like i’m getting older—”

“You are love, yes.” He interrupted you, which earned him a slap to the thigh. He didn’t let your hand go though, leaving it to rest on his tight thigh.

“And then suddenly that’s going to be it. No more Y/N.”

“Don’t say things like that to me, please love.” Harry shook his head, squeezing your hand a little tighter.

“And I feel like i’ll have regretted not doing so many things. Like I won’t have lived my life.”

“Things like?”

“Things like riding a motorcycle with you. Things like staying up all night with a bottle of wine and a good bit of Elvis. Reckless things, like skinny dipping or crashing a high school party. Things like, having my husband finger fuck me in a public restaurant. I remember when everything seemed so free and chaotic and I loved it. Now I feel stuck.”

“Stuck how, love?” Harry leaned in closer to you, his eyes full of love and determination because if that’s what you wanted he could give you all those things - especially the orgasm.

“I’m a mum, H. You’re a dad. We’re parents,m. Good ones at that. Aren’t we supposed to be grown up and responsible now? We don’t get to take risks anymore, because we have a family right? God, I sound so pathetic.” You sighed and put the menu down, not thinking about which pudding you wanted to fill yourself up with anymore.

“Babe. If you want to ride a motorcycle and go skinny dipping then let’s fucking do it. Why are you so afraid to hold back? Because we have kids, because darling believe me when I tell you - however much it disturbs me - our kids are out doing just as many reckless and crazy things as we used to do. Maybe we should fuck the prestigious system and show our children, all parents - including us - that adulthood, parenthood, doesn’t define the choices you make. We do.”

You couldn’t stop looking at your husband, drinking in every last drop of his beauty. His words filled your heart with rose petals and chocolates, warming you up delightfully. God, you were so lucky to have him. He helped you through the most toughest of times and continued to stick with you, not because a ring says he has to, but because he loves you. Undeniably and irrevocably loves you.

That was all it took for you to comply.

Quickly, you moved one of your legs under the table cloth so it draped over Harry’s thighs and made an opening between your legs. The cloth hid everything well, along with the dirty napkins that sat upon your laps.

“Wh- what are you doing love?” Harry asked confused, after not hearing a word back from you for his earlier speech.

“Harry I love you, I do, but will you just shut up and fuck my pussy with your fingers already.” You whispered wetly against his ear with your lips. He groaned at the words and tightened his grip around your leg, widening the gap he had to work with.

His hand slid underneath your dress slowly, squeezing the flesh of your thighs in tease, until he got to where your panties were. Or at least where they should be.

“Shit, you’re not wearing any pants?” Harry asked quizzically, pushing his fingers against your glistening pussy and feeling just how ready you were for him.

“Oh fuck!” You muffled out before Harry quickly slapped your slit because you were making too much noise, which only then made you squeal a bit more. He slapped your cunt hard enough the second time for you to get the memo that you needed to be quiet - but fuck was that a challenge. As much as you can be quiet, you just don’t like to be. You like knowing that your moans and whines turn Harry in even more, just as much as you love hearing his.

“Fucking hell, soaked already.” His fingers toyed with the folds of your cunt, feeling how puffy they were between his ringed fingers. “Gotta be quiet for me okay?” Just as he started pushing his delicious fingers inside of you, the waiter turned up at the table with a cheery face and not a bouncing clue what was happening between the two of you.

“Desserts?” He asked politely with his charming smile, but you didn’t see it for too long before having to close your eyes shut at the sudden movement of Harrys fingers. He wasn’t stopping on the waiters behalf, in fact he was more forcefully going for it. He moved his fingers in circles inside of you, thumbing over your clit in the way he knew you desired most. He was insatiable.

Reckless.

“No, just the bill please. Need to take my wife home to take care of some things.” Harry spoke for you both, not understanding why he was being so open with the amount of information he was giving away. But fucking hell you didn’t care because his fingers were providing you pleasures beyond reason.

“Yes Sir. I’ll only be two minutes.” He smiled again before he was gone, taking the menus with him.

“Here that baby?” Harry whispered into your ear, moving his fingers more freely now there was less of an audience, “you’ve got two minutes to cum.”

“Wha—”

Questioning his authority would have to wait, for Harry got to work very quickly and perfectly. His fingers slicked in and out of you so erotically and if it wasn’t for the live music and loud chatter of the room, the sounds of his fingers driving in and out of you would be heard by everyone. His fingers curled to all the right places, touching the most sensitive parts of your walls and hell did it feel blissful.

“I’d say you’ve got about a minute left baby, and I think you can cum for me before then. Can’t you? Or am I not good enough for that kind of release anymore?” Harry taunted you and pressed wet kisses to your ear. You were too lost in euphoric paradise to notice, or even care, whether anyone could see or was watching you both. You were too focused on your husband. Your Harry.

“N-no. I can cum. You’re so good - shit - so g-good.” You stammered out, breathless from the air stolen from your lungs because of this erotic moment. This was so bad behaved of you both that you were starting to get a high off of it.

“Cum for me then baby. Do it. I’ve got you.” He kissed your lips to capture the moan that trailed off your tongue as you reached your high. You felt so high and yet so safe. Harry steadied you as your legs shook and kissed you senseless, to quieten your whines. He admired that you had been so willing for this and he would be lying if he said he didn’t have a raging hard-on right now.

“I love you,” you raced out quickly, “I love you.”

“I love you, Y/N.” He kissed your lips again and withdrew his fingers from your dripping cunt. You picked up a napkin but he quite quickly took it away from you, throwing it to the other side of the table.

“What are you doing?” You whisper shouted, needing to clean yourself up.

“More like what are you doing?”

“Cleaning my mess.” You said frustratedly.

“Leave that to me.” He spoke whilst holding intense eye contact with you, bringing his fingers that were coated in your arousal to his lips and sucking them dry. Every last drop worked its way into his mouth and he salivated at the taste - the smell.

“Harry—”

“The bill Sir.” The waiter interrupted you without knowing. Harry took out his wallet and used his card on the card machine, before signing his name on the cheque as if to affirm that he has paid.

“Thank you.” Harry spoke kindly, completely different to how he was with you all but two minutes ago.

“Thank you Sir, Ma’am. Have a lovely rest of your evening.” And he wad gone again with his smile.

Harry turned to you with the largest grin on his face, “Oh we will.”

••••

“Oli stop eating the leftover lasagne it’s for mums lunch!”

Belle was rushing around trying to chill everything down. The party was so out of control that even Oli and Felix were wasted. Megan was blowing hot and cold with her too, so she had no idea where she stood with them.

People were everywhere. Too many people that it was becoming claustrophobic. Felix was currently playing beer pong with a group of his friends, Heather attached at his hip, whilst Oli was sitting on the kitchen countertop eating cold lasagne. The boy was like chuffing Garfield. Belle was doing her best to keep calm, but as the night progressed it started to become worse and worse as it got harder to control.

As Belle turned to leave the kitchen, her brother clearly not listening to her, she bumped into someone. Kyle. Fucking Kyle. The guy who had obsessed over her to the point where Harry was seriously considering getting a restraining order on him to protect his daughter. He was a straight A creep and Belle hadn’t even realised he’d been invited to this party. Then again, over half of these people had most definitely not been invited.

“Oh hey Isabelle.” He stressed her whole name, knowing how much she hated it. Well, she didn’t hate her name she just hated him saying her name.

“Go away Kyle.”

“But I just got here.”

“And now you can just leave. Party’s ending anyways.” Belle stood her ground, but her hands were shaking from being even remotely close to this guy. He was disgusting to the point where if you were stuck between having to choose between being with him or eating mouldy cheese, you’d eat the cheese on a fucking silver platter.

“Looks quite alive to me.”

“Well i’m shutting it down and you’re going to leave. Now.”

“You need to liven up Belle.” Kyle chuckled through his nose, making him look scary as he towered over Belle, “let me help you.” He leaned forwards to grab her arm but she was quick to push him away.

“No! Leave me alone!” Belle shouted, trying to dodge around him but he was quicker. He grabbed her arm tight and pulled her back to him, chest touching chest. “Get off me Kyle.” Belle squirmed in his hold, which only made Kyle happier - the creep.

“C’mon Bella, live a little.”

“My name’s not Bella and I told you to get the fuck off of me.” Belle pulled back with all her might, whilst kicking him square in the balls - probably hard enough so he’ll never be able to have children - and then drove her knee up to crack his nose - successfully. Damn, that felt good. Heavily badass, actually.

“You fucking psycho!” Kyle held his nose and his balls in pain, straightening himself up as if to launch himself with fury at Belle. Luckily for her the outburst between the pair had caught attention of people - including Oli and Felix.

Oli was quick to step in front of Kyle, Felix just behind him. “You dare lay a fucking finger on my sister and I swear to you you’ll regret it.” Oli threatened, fists curled tight at his sides.

Heather came to hug Belle, comforting as she cried through the after shock of the situation. She’d been so brave and handled herself so well though. “You okay?” She kindly asked.

“Y-yeah.” No.

Everyone was now watching. The music had been muted to the point where you could tell it was playing but you couldn’t tell which song it was. Friends of Oli and Felix were standing close by in case things got messy, which normally only happened between the two brothers and not this way. Doors could be heard opening and shutting as people came in and out from places to watch the debacle occur between the hosts of the party and the unwelcome visitor. Oli and Felix knew they had to be careful though, because one wrong video and it could badly effect their dad’s career. Belle shook in Heathers arms and wished this nightmare of an evening to be over.

“Oh the whore’s not worth it anyways.” Kyle laughed, rolling his eyes as he pointed towards Belle.

“The fuck did you just call my daughter?”

Oh fucking shit balls.

“Dad?” Belle asked warily, seeing his dad stood in the doorway of the front door, her mum standing close behind him with her hand tightly clutched to his. As much as Belle was terrified that her parents had busted them, she also felt safe in their presence.

“Oh and here comes perfect-dad-of-the-year Harry Styles to the rescue.” Kyle teased which made Felix move forward in protest of his words.

“Fix.” Harry sternly called his name, making his son stop and look towards his dad who was shaking his head with a soft smile. Harry walked over towards Belle first, you still clutched tightly to him. “You alright?” He asked sincerely, not looking cross or disappointed at all. Belle nodded quickly and kept her head pressed to Heather’s chest. Harry turned to see his boys, raising his eyebrows to wordlessly ask them the same question to which they nodded too.

Harry dropped your hand, leaving you to stand with your sons, and left your forehead with a kiss before making his way to Kyle. “You okay boys?” You asked again, even though you knew Harry just asked.

“Yeah. Are you mum?” Oli asked, coming to wrap his arm around his mums neck to comfort her. He was so kind and thoughtful, just like his dad.

“Listen up, Kyle.” Harry started, keeping a good distance between him and the boy, “If you ever come near my family again i’m ordering a restraining order. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise. If you break that order you’ll be going to jail. Big league jail too. Again not a threat, a promise. So you’re going to leave my house, this property in its’ entirety and go home to sit in your room and think about whether you would prefer to be in a prison cell instead. Do you understand?”

Okay, you’d be lying if you said his authority didn’t turn you on.

“Y-yeah.” Kyle mumbled pathetically.

“I said do you understand?” Harry repeated again, clearly not satisfied with the answer given.

“Yes Mr Styles.” Kyle said more surely, before scramming from the house, from the party and from the neighbourhood.

“Now everyone out of my house before I call the police.” Everyone knew how that was not an empty threat and dashed out of his house. Some looked at him in awe, because this was probably their once and only chance of being in the presence of the Harry Styles. He sighed as he walked to the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter to think.

“Should we—” Belle started to talk but you cut her off.

“No, hunny. Let me go talk to your dad. You lot,” referring to your children and girlfriends who’d kindly stayed behind in support, “can go fetch some bin liners and start cleaning this all up.” You pointed around to the mess that was your house, before walking off to the kitchen.

You looked around at the mess. A broken vase. Litter everywhere. Half-drunken drinks left on the table. Bottle openers you definitely didn’t own before tonight. Trousers? You couldn’t help but giggle at the surrounding sight.

“What’s got you laughing?” Harry asked, still in his fancy shoes and fancy coat, you still in your fancy heels and your fancy coat. Yet, you were both standing in what looks like a garbage dump site. Harry moved his hand away from his face and looked at you with a blank expression.

“You were right!” You laughed.

“Your reaction as if that’s a bloody miracle, love, which kind of an ego crush, but continue.” He rolled his eyes and you rolled yours in response. You clicked your way over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist, he kept his wrapped around his own obviously still closing himself off.

“Our kids are being reckless and crazy.” You recalled dinners earlier conversation, smiling up at him in admiration.

“I didn’t actually mean it, it was just a quick way to make you feel better.” He groaned in frustration.

“Well gee thanks babe!” You laughed at the whole irony of this situation. “Harry, babe, look at me,” you had to used your hand to turn his cheek to face you, stroking his cheek to calm him, “adulthood - parenthood - doesn’t define the choices we have to make. We do. And our children, apart from that last little bit, seemed like they had the most freeing and most brilliant night yet! Let them be reckless H. Let them make mistakes. Just because this happened doesn’t make us bad parents, and it doesn’t make us bad parents if we decide no punishment—”

“Ha like that’s going to happen!” Harry cut you off and you glared at him to just shut up.

“Just shut up, you oaf. Let the kids live while they’re young.”

“You did not just reference one of my songs.” Harry looked to the ceiling as he smiled widely, before shortly laughing at how cheesy that was. “Oh my god Y/N!”

“What? Was is that bad?”

“Yes, babe. Yeah it really was.” He looked back down at you to see you smiling and he couldn’t help but cup your cheeks and kiss you silly. His perfect lips fit yours and you tasted him until you couldn’t breathe. “I love you.”

“I love you. Now go help clean up.” You ordered him, making him look at you confused.

“What the hell have I done to deserve this?”

“You booked the hotel for next weekend instead of this weekend you div. Now go.” You smacked his backside and he strolled back over to you and pushed you into the counter. You gasped at the sudden motion.

“Do that again and let’s see what happens.” He whispered dangerously against your lips.

“Go clean up and then see what’s waiting in our bedroom.” You bit your lip and tugged Harry’s hand to under your dress, giving him only a slight feel of how wet you were before letting his hand go and walking away.

“Kids, hand me a bloody bin bag. Now!”

[jaehyunfirstlove]

Hiiii. Please if the request are open. Can you please write something kinda like Jaehyun fuck you so hard after practice because he keep mesing up the dance and come home not in the mood and when the see you the fuck you so manu times until he satisfied and super fluff after pleaseee 🥺

Pairing: idol boyfriend!jaehyun x f.reader

Genre: smut (18+ only)

Warnings: rough sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex (f. and m. receiving)

Word count: 1.1k

A/N: this was a yummy one, thanks for sending it in and i hope you like it :)

You heard the front door slam, signalling that Jaehyun was finally home from practice. He’d told you he was running late and not to wait up for him, but you decided to anyway, just sitting up in bed and scrolling through your phone.

“Babe?” you called out when he didn’t come into the bedroom right away. He came in, water bottle in hand, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

“I thought you’d be sleeping,” he said roughly, running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair, “I told you not to wait up.”

“I just wanted to wait for you,” you pouted, hurt by his reprimanding tone. Seeing your reaction he sighed deeply.

“Fuck it’s just been a shitty day,” he complained, “I just couldn’t get the moves right, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He scrubbed at his head agitatedly, as if he were trying to clear his mind of whatever was preventing him from getting the dance moves right.

“You’re too stressed, you just need an outlet for it,” you tried to soothe him, but at your words he suddenly looked at you with an intense look in his eyes.

“You’re right,” he replied in a hard tone. “Come here.”

The command was followed by a tilt of his head, but no smirk, no smile, just fire in his eyes as he looked at you. You got up from the bed, pulling your (his) sweatshirt down over your ass to afford yourself some modesty, although you don’t know why you were bothering since he’d probably have your panties off within the next few minutes. When you were in front of him he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you to him, your breath caught in your throat at the intensity of his actions. He smashed his lips against yours with little grace, just a hungry urgency that made your core clench. You rubbed your thighs together for some friction as he manhandled you, his hands rough on your body.

“Jae,” you gasped, breaking from his kiss for air, “mmh…”

You couldn’t say more, every word stuck in your throat as he attacked your neck now, sucking marks into your skin and swiping his tongue over each one afterwards. You could only moan, throwing your head back as he took his fill, unleashing his stress and frustrations on your body. Roughly he pulled your sweatshirt off you, and he was rewarded with your nipples already perked for him, since you had foregone wearing a bra. Hungrily he sucked on them in turn, and you couldn’t help but cry out at how rough he was being, taking your pebbled bud between his teeth and biting lightly. His hands went down to your hips, fingers catching in the sides of your panties and pulling them down until they pooled at your ankles. His mouth still on your breast, he slid a hand between your legs, rubbing your pussy, the heel of his hand stimulating your clit.

“You feel good, baby,” he groaned, “damn you feel good.”

He had a singular focus; to use you, to let out all of his frustrations and aggressions on your body. You gave yourself up to him, all of you, and he knew you could take it.

He manhandled you onto the bed, pushing your knees up until you were opened up to him, legs spread wide. He didn’t kiss you softly, caress your thighs like he normally would, he just dove in, licking a harsh stripe up your wet pussy.

“Ah fuck!” you screamed, your body arching off the bed. His strong arms held you down, fingers digging into your thighs as he ate you out, tongue licking and lashing at your folds. You bit down hard on your lip, trying not to cry out, just soft whimpers escaping as he made you so wet you’d definitely have to change the sheets.

He wasn’t the gentle Jaehyun you were used to, his movements were rough and urgent, chasing a satisfaction he could only get through his use of your body. He made you come fast, fingers fucking into you as he sucked your clit into his mouth. Not even giving you a chance to recover he was moving up your body, sliding his cock into your still sensitive pussy as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, making you taste yourself on him.

You moaned into his mouth, dug your fingernails into his back as he railed you, his cock hitting into you so hard and so deep you felt pleasure thrumming through every part of your body.

“That’s it, baby,” he groaned, “I know you can take it.” His voice was husky and deep, sweat starting to trickle down his brow as he looked at you, his eyes burning with a fierce intensity.

“Yes, Jaehyun, I want it,” you moaned, “I want all of you, use me, use my body.” You ran your hands all over his back, feeling his muscles move as he pounded into you. Your words threw him into a frenzy, and he pulled your knees up so he could ram into you deeper. Your breath came in short gasps as the knot in your stomach formed, and seeing that you were close he thrust even harder. You came with your body shuddering, pussy clenching him, when he suddenly pulled out.

“I wanna come in your mouth,” he growled, and you obliged, getting into position and sucking his cock into your mouth. He started to ram it down your throat, and you fought every urge to gag as he grunted with every thrust, fingers tangling in your hair as he held you to him.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna come,” he hissed, bucking one last time as he spilled his cum down your throat. You swallowed it all, coming off his cock with a resounding pop, making him twitch slightly.

“Holy shit,” he fell onto his back on the bed, pulling you with him. “That was incredible.”

You smiled, snuggling into his side as he rubbed his hand up and down your arm. “Do you feel better?” you asked.

“Mm, yeah, so much better,” he kissed the top of your head, his voice soft. “Are you okay though? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You patted his chest, giving it a small kiss before you looked up at him. “Not at all, it felt really good.”

He smiled at you, a beautiful, dazzling smile that made his dimples extra deep, before he squeezed you to him in gratitude.

“Thank you, Y/N, I don’t know what I would ever do without you.”

---

Thank you for 1.3k :)