#self loathing to tolerance to acceptance

[nereidprinc3ss]

do you believe me now?

in which fem!reader is insecure around spencer until she finally asks him to take matters into his own hands (literally)

series masterlist

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: inexperienced reader, fingering, softdom!spencer my sweet sweet beloved angel, sub reader, praise, you know he talks you through it, brief mention of drinking wine, i think that's it a/n: i hope u guys like this ! slightly different dynamic than my other stuff maybe but let me know what u think!! i love feedback and i love YOU!!!

“You’re so pretty.”

It’s the first thing Spencer has said since you two landed on his couch, exhausted from one of Rossi’s extravagant soirées. It was your first of many, if Spencer’s entire team is to be believed. More nights featuring Italian food and wine you could never afford don’t sound half bad—but for now you’re drained. You barely had the energy to kick off your heels and topple into Spencer’s lap five minutes ago. The silk dress still pools over his knees and your hair still falls in curls around your face. He brushes one aside as he continues. 

“I mean—you always look beautiful. But I’ve never seen you all done up. You’re obscenely gorgeous.”

You groan awkwardly, burying your face in Spencer’s collar as your face heats. Taking compliments has never been your strong suit, especially from someone who you perceive to be so out of your league. The relationship you have with Spencer is relatively new, and sometimes you worry delicate; like one slip-up revealing the real you and he’ll go running. So far, though, he seems hellbent on proving you wrong. 

His hand finds the bare skin of your arm, passing up and down gently. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“…I do.”

It’s unconvincing. Spencer scoffs. 

“No, you don’t. You never believe me when I compliment you.”

The cadence of his voice is light enough, but it’s evident that there’s some genuine frustration there, lurking just under the surface. 

Your head lolls over his shoulder and he angles his neck to look down at you. Hair falls over his eyes, and you’d fix it if he didn’t look so damn perfect. Everything about him looks intentional, like he was designed by someone who took great pride in their work. Not at all like you—a collage of features and spare parts you guess whatever force created you had lying around. Nothing about you feels on purpose. But that’s a hard thing to explain.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s impolite. It just feels disingenuous to accept compliments like that.”

Goosebumps arise on your arm where he touches you.

“You being polite isn’t what I’m concerned about. I just wish I could make you understand that I mean it when I compliment you. You’d know if I didn’t. I’m a terrible liar.”

That earns a giggle from you. Your boyfriend smiles, sparkling eyes darting over your face like he’s trying to bottle the sound, the memory—and you realize he probably is. What a terrifying thought. You look away, abashed once more. 

“I’m a woman, Spencer. I’m not allowed to like myself. That’s the whole thing with Eve and the snake and the apple and whatever. Eternal inescapable shame.”

“Are you trying to justify your self-loathing by making it biblical? You know I’m the last person that would work on, right? Both as an agnostic-leaning-athiest and someone who thinks you’re beautiful and wonderful.”

Another groan claws its way from your throat as you slide down in embarrassment. 

“You’re killing me here, Spencer.”

“What can I do to do to make you believe me?” he murmurs, carefully brushing tangles from your hair as you now rest practically prone across his lap. The ceiling light stretches behind him, haloing him in a soft glowing crown and making everything a bit more hazy and tolerable. 

“It’s not your fight.” It’s meant to be playfully dramatic, but it hangs from your lips with a painful amount of earnestness. 

“If it’s yours, it’s mine. That’s kind of the whole point of a relationship, right? Being a team?”

His fingers are nimble and warm between yours as you interlace them, steepling and bumping them together as you speak. 

“Well, if you know so much, why are you asking me? It sounds like you know exactly what to do to make me magically love myself.”

A dangerous twitch plays at the corner of his lips as he gazes sleepily down at you. 

“Oh, I have a few ideas. But I’m asking what you’d be comfortable with.”

“Whoa!” you blurt, giggling self-consciously, covering your face with your (and inadvertently one of his) hands. “Where did that come from?”

He smiles at your response to his mildly suggestive comment. “I lose my filter when I'm tired. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

You sigh gustily, dragging his hand down to fall over your collarbones. His fingers twitch over the delicate skin, like he’d graze it if your hand wasn’t weighing his down. 

“No, no, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, you just… surprised me. I’m really bad at talking about this kind of thing.”

“Sex?”

You yelp, slinging your arm over your face and hiding in the crook of your elbow. “AH! Don’t say it!” 

He laughs again, a little less reserved this time. 

“What? You can’t even listen to me say the word?”

“No! Too scary!”

Eventually you peek out from under your arm to find Spencer still watching you. The humor has faded from his eyes and been replaced by a kind of serene calm. He brushes a lock of hair from your shoulder. 

“Come here,” he says—a request more than a demand. With some wriggling and a bit of help, you manage to reorient yourself into a sitting position across his lap once more. His touch is warm even through the fabric of your dress when he kisses you, hand sliding over your waist before moving to trace your jaw and ending up on the back of your neck, urging you closer ever so slightly. You kiss him back without hesitation or restraint, as you delight in doing when he gives you the opportunity. What you may lack in experience and refinement, you make up for with affection and enthusiasm. He pulls away after a minute, much to your dismay, and brushes his thumb over your lips. For the first time, you think you see a hint of worry in his eyes. Guilt claws at your heart when he quietly asks, “you’re not scared of me, are you?”

“No!” You assure quickly, looping your arms around his neck. “No, it’s not you. You’re perfect and I’m sure you really mean all of the nice things you say. But I just… sometimes I worry I’ll scare you away once you realize I’m not as pretty or… good as you thought.”

“That’s impossible.”

Once more you let your head fall onto his shoulder. “You don’t know that.” 

His hand begins running up and down your back, soothing your sympathetic nervous system in a way that all the deep breaths in the world never could. 

“I know that I really, really like you. And there’s not one part of you that I don’t find genuinely beautiful. I can’t imagine not feeling that way about you.” Your eyes flutter shut and you hum against him—a non-answer, but he doesn’t push it. Minutes go by quietly, ticking later into the night as he continues mindlessly rubbing your back and watching you breathe. “Do you want me to take you home?” He finally asks after a long while. Again, you don’t respond. He smiles. “I know you’re awake.”

The corner of your lip twitches as you attempt to suppress a grin. Spencer sighs. 

“I guess if you’re already asleep you’ll just have to stay here. But it would be convenient if you’d sleepwalk to my bed so that I don’t have to carry you.”

When you begin stirring and sitting up (one eye cracked to navigate) he laughs, hands on your waist. “Would you look at that. Who knew she would be so suggestible in non-REM?” You snort as you push yourself to a standing position using Spencer’s shoulders to support yourself, and ruining the whole act. He smiles up at you like you’re something divine and lets his hands trail over your hips. 

“I sleep with my eyes open.”

“Do you often have coherent conversations in your sleep, too?”

You shrug. “I’m full of surprises.”

“I’m sure you are,” he agrees, finally standing himself. “I’m assuming you don’t want to sleep in your dress?”

“I have shorts on underneath I can wear, but a shirt would be helpful.”

“Then we’ll get you a shirt.”

———————————————

Ten minutes later you’re in Spencer’s bathroom, wearing your shorts and one of his sweatshirts (you cannot imagine Spencer in a hoodie), and wiping black sludge from your eyes with makeup remover he claims was left by a friend after a particularly festive Halloween party. Hopefully he’s telling the truth—you can think of more dubious potential origins of the eye-makeup remover in his bathroom. No toothbrush—you use your finger and a generous amount of toothpaste until the red wine stains fade. 

Spencer is fixing the pillows when you exit the bathroom. You hold up your hands which are completely obscured and then some by the thick fabric of his sweatshirt. 

“Fits like a dream,” you say. A smile tugs at his lips as he finishes his task, before raising his eyes to you. The smile promptly fades and it’s like the sun disappearing behind an oppressive gray cloud. In an instant your stomach curdles and you feel like crawling out of your skin. 

“…what?” you mumble, absolutely terrified that the thing he’d said was impossible just minutes ago has already happened. Without makeup, without a fancy dress, you’re just you, and maybe that’s not good enough.

“Uh…” He blinks, as if he’s buffering for a moment, before snapping back into action, and notably looking away from you. “It’s—it’s nothing. Do you, um—here, I tried to make it—“

“Stop. Just tell me what that was. You got all weird.”

Another pause—he looks back up at you reluctantly with a sigh. 

“I did not get all weird.”

“Yes, you did. You’re still being weird. It’s freaking me out.”

He’s utterly unreadable, which drives you fucking insane, when he eventually says, “come here.” This time, you think with a chill as you shuffle on your knees across the bed to sit in front of him, it really sounds like a demand. Spencer grabs your face in his hands, studying you intently. “I know you think I’ve finally decided you’re hideously deformed, but it’s actually just the opposite. I’m trying to figure out how to keep things polite for you.”

Realization dawns on you and the swarm of new butterflies in your stomach. The usual molten gold of his irises has been encroached upon, masked by blown pupils. Your face gets hot and your voice caves when you speak. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” he agrees quietly. “Do you believe me now?”

And to his credit, you really do. The hot skin, the vibrating cells in every fiber of your being, the racing heart—your body knows he means it. Part of you, the more confident, more desirous part, drags you closer to him, ghosts your lips over his. He chuckles. 

“Now you’re getting brave?”

“Am I not allowed to kiss you?” you whisper, draping your arms over his shoulders. 

“You’re allowed to do whatever you want.”

The words make you shiver—the lowered, gravelly tone of his voice you’ve never heard before snaps your resolve and you lean into him, connecting your lips with a deep urgency. Spencer inhales sharply, hands wandering to your waist and bearing down firmly as you press against him. When you lean back, he follows you, insists without saying a word that you don’t stop kissing him. It sends a thrill down your spine and between your legs, which both gives you pause and eggs you on. In the end, after a very brief internal struggle, curiosity and desire win. You drop to the bed and drag him down with you—he, your willing follower, blindly searches for purchase on the plush comforter. Now he’s on top of you, legs slotted together so that his thigh is temptingly close to your core. Too shy to actually do what you want to do, you clamp your thighs around his and tilt your hips, desperate for friction. He exhales heavily, slowly pulling his lips from yours like it’s the last thing he wants to do. Fingers dig into the flesh of your hip, not enough to ache but enough to draw your attention to your movements. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, firmly, but not like you’re in trouble—it’s a probing question. He’s trying to figure out if you’re aware of the way you’re nearly riding his leg. 

“I don’t know,” you admit breathlessly. 

“You just told me you couldn’t even listen to me say the word sex,” Spencer reminds you. “You said it was too scary.”

A frustrated whine seems to catch him by surprise, and he laughs. 

“That was a long time ago. I’ve matured since then.”

“Is that what happened?” he teases. 

“Honestly, I’m just really turned on right now, please—" you cut yourself off, crashing your lips into his once more. And he almost relents. 

Almost. 

“Slow down.”

He ceases kissing you for a second time and you’re starting to really get annoyed. 

“What?” you groan. “I thought you wanted this.”

His thumbs brush over the apples of your cheeks, demanding your attention. 

“I want you. In every sense of the word. If you make a bad choice tonight and it means you don’t like me anymore tomorrow, that is the opposite of what I want. I’m not saying no. I’m just asking you to think about it for a second.”

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes and attempting to steady your mind and see beyond the thick fog of lust. What you find is a (mildly surprising) complete lack of fear. You’re not scared, like you thought you’d be; you feel utterly safe underneath him, with his hands on you and his heartbeat against your chest. This is a kind of intimacy you want to have with him. 

Your eyes open to reveal his, close enough you can see the tiny flecks of green. And so much warmth. Everything about him is warm. 

“This is what I want,” you assert. “I promise.”

His gaze flits between yours for a moment, pulling the truth from your soul like he might be able to find an imperfection there. But you mean it—and he seems satisfied. He trusts you, like you trust him. 

“Okay.”

A sigh of relief never quite finds completion before he’s kissing you again. Immediately the fire is stoked once more, the heat between your legs getting warmer when he experimentally pushes his thigh against you. You breathe into the kiss, pressing down on him and surrendering to the unconscious rhythm of your hips. He lets that go on for a minute or two until you’re so distracted that you can’t kiss him back. 

Unexpectedly he pulls away, disentangling himself from your legs. You stammer in frustration until his fingers hook under the soft material of your shorts. “Hips up.”

Wordlessly you comply, succumbing to his gentle words and touch. He bows to kiss you as he slides the fabric down unhurriedly. Once the shorts are gone, he sits up, and carefully lifts one of your legs over his lap, gaze unabashedly glued between them. 

“Eyes up here,” you try to joke, but it’s steeped in self-consciousness and your heart is pounding. He manages, stroking the inside of your knee with a thumb as he leans down again. 

“But you’re so pretty,” he murmurs, before he’s kissing you again. “Just like I knew you would be.”

You whimper when his hand skates over your stomach, lower, and lower, and—

“Tell me one more time, sweetheart.”

Your plead is just as hungry and yearning. “Please, Spencer?”

It works for him. 

When his knuckles brush over your clit, you forget to breathe. When they barely skim your entrance, collecting arousal to drag back upward, your brain malfunctions. It is not enough, maddeningly so, but when he finds a careful, introductory rhythm, it’s immediately bordering on too much, too good. 

Your stomach tenses and you are surprised by your own sighs and hesitant gasps as you try to adjust to the feeling of someone else’s hand between your legs. 

“Does that feel good?” he murmurs against your lips. 

“Mhm,” you chirp. Slow but insistent circles elicit a cry that gets caught in your throat, melting into a hum. Your eyes are closed, but you can hear the smile in Spencer’s voice. 

“You’re sensitive, huh?”

“S—sometimes.”

 He hums contemplatively. 

“Sometimes? Can you tell me about that?”

You can’t hardly think around those gentle movements of his hand, let alone speak. He touches you like you’re something delicate. It’s torturous and perfect. But you try to answer anyway, managing to keep the stammering to a minimum. 

“About what?” 

“I want to know what you think about when you touch yourself.” The smooth words in tandem with an incremental increase in pressure earn you first real moan. Timid and unpracticed, but very genuine. 

The answer comes immediately afterward; thoughtlessly and on a shuddering exhalation.

“You.”

“Yeah?” he smiles. “Good answer.”

Your eyes open fractionally to study his expression. You’d felt so much shame every time you’d imagined him in your bed late at night.

“Really?” 

“Really. And now look at you. Letting me do it for you.” As if to remind you, he speeds up the motion of his hand. On instinct you bring your fingers to your lips as you moan through a closed throat, partly to stifle the noise and partly because you don’t know what to do with the hand that’s not gripping the duvet. “Do you only touch here?” His fingers slide down to your slick entrance and your hips buck, mourning the loss of stimulation. “Or do you touch here, too?” 

You shake your head, breathing hard as he teases a finger around the soft place you’ve never really bothered to explore. “Never feels good when I try.”

“We’re gonna make it feel good, okay?”

You nod hesitantly, leaning back into the pillows when he kisses you again. 

His lips are so distracting, so intoxicating you almost forget what he’s doing until he does it. It’s a foreign sensation—not entirely pleasant or unpleasant. For a moment or two your brows furrow as you focus on the feeling, worried that maybe you’re broken just as you thought—until you feel a slight stretch and you realize he’s pushing a second finger into you now. A kiss lands on your cheek when you grab his arm with a choked gasp, and he mutters, “deep breaths,” into your ear. “I know it’s new, honey, just breathe.”

“Fuck,” you whimper as you look down, and you didn’t realize you were going to say it until it’s already passed between your lips. Pressure begins melding with the promise of pleasure, and something about watching his hand move between your legs—the tendons flexing and wrist bending as he eases into what is clearly a perfected motion—arouses you so much you moan at the sight alone. Flipping pages is all you thought that hand was meant for. It’s like a secret revealed as you watch it do something so salacious, and to you. 

A hot spark of pleasure flares deeper in you than you’ve ever felt. It catches and grows faster than you’d of thought—suddenly you can feel everything and it all feels better than you thought possible. Your jaw drops and a surprised huff of air blows a strand of your hair away. 

“Oh my god,” comes your breathy little whisper, unprepared for and intimidated by how good he’s making you feel. Filthy noises come from between your legs and you clench around his fingers. You had no idea you could make those noises. You had no idea you could get so wet. 

“Yeah, there we go.” His voice sounds a little further away now. You manage to tear your eyes away from all the action to his face. Much like you, he’s transfixed by the sight, brow furrowed and pretty lips parted in what could be concentration, or some sort of empathetic pleasure. His face has more color to it than usual and his breaths come heavier—it’s a very pleasant sight. Suddenly his fingers brush against a spot deep within you and your hips cant upward, a mewl pulled from the depths of your throat that has more control over you than you do it. Spencer’s eyes flash back to you, a grin playing at his lips. He does it again, looking right into your eyes, and you whine so pitifully your face flushes. 

“Too much?” he asks. You shake your head firmly, arching your back when he unconsciously slows down. At your response his fingers begin rutting into you again, committing to that spot inside you that makes you see stars. “Of course not. You’re gonna take whatever I give you, huh?”

“Uh-huh,” you nod. You’d do just about anything for him right at this second. Spencer holds an immense amount of power over you in this moment, and potentially in all future moments moving forward. But you trust him with it. 

“You don’t have anything to prove to me. I just want you to feel good. You’ll tell me if it’s too much, right?”

But it’s really not too much. It’s exactly right. Your verbal capacity is acutely limited right now, so you can’t exactly say it, but you lock eyes with him and whine shamelessly, hips twisting against his hand. You think he gets the message. 

Hair falls over his face and he doesn’t fix it, opting instead to alternate his gaze between your cunt and face, cursing to himself lowly. You wouldn’t want him to stop and fix his hair—what you want is this, for him to keep pushing you toward that elusive edge and to keep looking at you like you put all the stars in the sky. 

“Look at you, my pretty girl. I’m so proud of you. I know this isn’t easy. I know you were scared. Thank you for letting me do this, honey.”

It’s the unexpected tenderness of the words, perfectly misplaced in the context of the moment. It’s the devotion, the honesty in his eyes, shining through the haze of lust, which makes your stomach drop and all your muscles tense. A million thoughts jumble in your head, dizzying and thrilling and confusing, but mostly all you can think is Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. Is this how it always is? Your hands tangle in the sheets—and then all the thoughts vanish. Everything is warm and fuzzy and sparkling clean, no worries, no lingering thoughts, no self-awareness at all. It’s nirvana. It’s revelatory. It’s ridiculous that he did this all in under five minutes and you haven’t been able to do it once even with very concerted effort. 

Slowly you float back into your body, breathing hard and watching through half-lidded eyes as Spencer gently pulls his hand away. Without him you feel weirdly empty and cold, like he should have been there all along. But his touch isn’t absent for long—he runs his hand over the bridge between your hips, little finger dipping into the crease of your thigh. 

“That’s never… I’ve never done that before,” you admit, slurring your words only slightly. 

His perfect features contort into a half-frown, half-smile. 

“You’ve never had an orgasm?” You nod. His head tilts. “Really? You didn’t tell me that.”

“When would I have told you?” you laugh, finding his waist with your hand and encouraging him to settle his weight on you. He does, burying his face in your neck and exhaling heavily. 

“Well?” you ask shyly, skating your fingers over his back. “Did I do it right?”

Spencer snorts, but presses a sickeningly sweet kiss to the curve of your neck. 

“Did you like it?”

“Yes,” you admit, voice smaller than you’d have liked. He pushes himself up onto his forearms and kisses you softly. 

“Then we both did it right.”

“But…” you stare up into his warm honey eyes, searching for any bits of hidden truth you can find. He brushes a strand of hair away from your face, utterly unconcerned. “You know what I mean.” 

“I do,” he agrees, “and I’ll say this because I know otherwise you’re going to worry about it forever.” He studies your face reverently for a moment, before parting his lips to speak. The words are slow to come, like he’s trying to figure the sentence out as he goes along. “You… are going to be, problematic, for me.”

Your whisper is almost as small as you feel under his heavy gaze. “What d’you mean?” 

“I mean,” Spencer begins, voice low, “I think I liked that too much. Do you see why that’s troubling?”

The flame you thought had been quenched flickers back to life like a pilot light. Your thighs press together to alleviate a growing ache in a still sensitive area and you answer, “no,” with a small shake of your head. His thumb tenderly traces your jaw, ever-patient despite the fact that you’re obviously playing coy. 

“Because I can’t have you all the time.”

“Yes you can,” you say without hesitation, though your eyes are fluttering. “You can have me whenever you want. Right now.”

He hums, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“Not tonight. You’ve had enough. You’re tired.”

“I’m wide awake,” you slur, tangling a hand in his hair even as you lose the battle against your eyelids. 

He sighs good-naturedly, gently wrapping his fingers around your wrist and brushing his lips over the delicate skin. 

“You’re shockingly precocious.”

You hum. 

“You just unleashed the beast. You’re like Doctor Frankenstein.”

He chuckles, sitting up and finding your shorts. You manage to be semi-helpful, lifting your legs at appropriate junctures as he tugs your clothing back on. “And you’re a nerd.”

“I don’t need to take that from you of all people.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Spencer says, and the smile in his voice makes you smile, a quarter asleep as he leans over to turn off the lamp on your side of the bed before tugging the covers over both of you. 

He pulls you close in the dark, releasing a deep sigh as you curl into him. His heartbeat is steady against your ear, his arms warm around you. You can imagine making a home for yourself here. And you don’t know if he’s thinking it, but you hope he is, as you are silently repeating to yourself with every beat of his heart;

I love you

I love you

I love you. 

-

part two

[sirenmoth]

Monster Mash - Prologue

This is a collection of what was supposed to be small fics accidently turned full fics of you getting fucked by nine monsters, who are also your boyfriends (and each others)

CW: DUBCON, poly relationship with multiple monsters, polyamory, polygamy, polycule, free use, plot what plot/porn without plot, the plot is porn, mentions of anal sex and vaginal sex, mentions of aftercare, monsterfucking (Each chapter will have it's own warnings) This is an 18+ series with a female human

Monsters Included (In order of the series): Vampire, Drider, Satyr, Werewolf + Orc, Centaur, Naga, Siren + Merman, All Present

Monster Mash Masterlist Next ->

Being in a relationship with nine different monsters was a very interesting thing, a day was never dull, watching the various ways they interact with each other and their environment in and around the shared living space, the small petty arguments and minor domestic disputes when one of them did something another didn't like were entertaining but exhausting. But they did agree on one thing, you.

Their little human.

It didn't start out like this, one by one you unknowingly added a monster to your list of lovers, to your harem. You met them at different times at different locations, getting to know them not knowing how they felt and why they started talking to you, if they knew you are talking to different monsters behind their back, they knew, they could smell each other on you. They never liked creatures outside their own kind, barely tolerated them if they had to interact with a different species, hell, most didn't even like their own species, finding them annoying or a waste of time. But with you that changed.

Watching from the shadows, they stayed close to keep you safe and the others away, getting into bloody fights if one got too close for the others liking, they'd sometimes go as far as to let themselves get bloodied and bruised just so you could pamper and coddle them once you saw the state they are in, littered in cuts and bruises, bites and scratches. It never lasted long, you'd yell and scolded them for being so stupid and reckless, for the petty territorial claim they put over you.

"Don't you have at least one thing all of you agree on? Like something in common and like enough to share?" You foolishly asked one day, not knowing what that would lead to, what one, innocent in nature, lone question made them all collectively agree for the first, and probably the last, idea they all agreed on.

Swallowing their self pride and ego, as well as their hatred for one another, they agreed on sharing. With a few conditions, they didn't want to lose their precious human. And if living together with a different species they loathed and could hardly stand meant they got to keep you, so be it.

They hated it at first, wanting you all you had to themselves, growling and snarling and hissing at the other residents if you got too close. Marking you in obvious places for all to see and scent you until the other couldn't stand being around. Fuck you in full view of the rest, knowing they can't get violence or aggressive without risking you avoiding them for a whole day.

It's their way of showing dominance over each other, showing they are the better boyfriend and mate. A way of saying they can please you better, make you cum harder, render you brainless quicker than any of them can, have you drooling and begging for more.

Overtime they adapted and accepted this new living arrangement, learning about each other and their lives, how their species acted and thrived and their cultures. It wasn't all happy and domestic though, arguments were and still are common. Your vampire lover screaming from his section of the manor for one of them to keep it down during the day while he was trying to sleep, the werewolf running around, both indoors and outdoors, to burn energy and disturbing Driders web or the Naga's nest, the list goes on.

Most took to living outside the manor you bought together since it came with a massive plot of land, in a small hut, barn, burrow underground or a body of water, just to live away from the chaos living with nine monsters brought and some alone time, in peace and quite with you, away from the bickering and shouting. A sanctuary for them to rest.

You love joining them and spending time there too, bathing in the silence, just you and your lover. They are more than happy to keep you there, all to themselves, full of their cock or cocks as they fucked you, or you fucked them, bouncing on their dicks or dicks, using them the way they use you.

One thing they were adamant on not sharing for the longest time, was you, yes, they agreed to live together, but that didn't mean they liked it or agreed to be nice to each other. Sharing you was off the table, if one wanted a turn they could wait, problem being that wait could be a few hours to a whole day, at worst a week or so.

That changed when you begged for two of them to tag team you, have you in the middle with one in your cunt and one in your mouth, maybe add a third. Oh, how could they say no to that? Having you looking all pretty and cute for them while getting treated like the monster cock whore you are.

It very quite became the norm to find one of them balls deep in one of your holes, pounding away like their life depended on it, bending you over every available, fucking you from behind until you were limpless and unable to move, holding you up and your legs open wide or your legs wrapped around their waist as they double dicked you down.

Leaving you spent and used out in the open for the next one, letting whoever decided to use you next had easy access to use you how they liked, to fuck you hard and deep, covered in bite marks and cum and sweat. Sometimes they'd tie you up with the Driders' silky webs or let the Naga wrap his tail around you to keep you in place, having you lay there like a premium sex toy only they can use.

You got used to being covered in some type of marking, bites and bruises was now a warm welcomed part of your life. Having your brain empty when the siren sang his song when you visited the backyard lake turned makeshift ocean for him and the Merman, impaling you o his inhuman cock, the Merman would join in, entering your puckered ass while you pulled you under the water, kissing you deep in heated moments to provide you with air. Leaving you on the shore once done to warm up in the sun as they laid half on the land, half in the sea, stroking your salt soaked hair from your eyes.

They still took care of you afterwards. After fucking you to the nine hells and the heavens and back, after rendering both your mind and body and voice useless, they'd pamper you they way you pamper them, telling you how good you did, how much they love you and are glad and grateful you're theirs. Undoing the silk, or licking up the blood, waiting for the knot to deflate or for you to catch your breath, which every one with you would cuddle you after cleaning you up. One or more would join until you were under a heap of warm and cold bodies, when asked they denied doing it because they loved each other.

Some didn't mind sharing most of the time, working together to ring out countless orgasms from you until it hurt, and you physically couldn't any more. Some refused to, wanting to keep everything you had to give and take to themselves and only sharing if they saw fit, or you begged on your knees. Another common was waking up sore and dripping with cum, sometimes in a new place after you traded you off to another one, you gave your consent for them to use you in your sleep or to continue to keep using you after they fucked you unconscious until they were satisfied.

But that didn't mean they were always in charge of the scenario and situation, they are, especially the werewolf, weak to your pout and puppy eyes when you ask them ever so nicely to tie them up and ride them or peg them until their tired and overstimulated, it was always a fun time, giving the same treatment they gave you, though they never gave in much, wanting you to be on the receiving end of what they have to give and the pleasures they can provide.

Your days are never dull, with nine monsters tending to your every need and whim, and you tending to theirs

[whumpshaped]

this is a disgustingly fluffy prompt so beware slfkdh

caretaker always calls whumpee a word in their (caretaker‘s) native language, which whumpee doesn’t understand. but since they are very self loathing they just assume it’s something negative, since caretaker has to spend so much time and energy caring for and „tolerating“ whumpee. one day whumpee gets too curious though and decides to look up the word, only to find out it’s a pet name and caretaker has been calling them something lovingly the entire time

(bonus points if you do it in your native language i love learning new cute pet names!!)

sorry to all hungarians i know seeing this will cause some whiplash

tw pet whump, past trauma, caretaker new master

‘Easy, szívem.’

‘Szívem, could you bring me some water?’

‘You don’t have to push yourself, szívem.’

Whumpee accepted the nickname as their own easily. Whumper had given them plenty, although never ones they couldn’t even understand; useless, stupid, mutt… who knew which one Caretaker was using on them?

They avoided asking about it for the longest time. They told themself they were prepared for the meaning, that they could handle whatever degrading thing their new master ‘friend’ threw at them, but in reality… They weren’t prepared at all. They didn’t want to know. They wanted to pretend it was something nice, a term of genuine endearment, dear, darling, honey… Something people said to each other with kindness.

But eventually, curiosity won out. Whumpee sneaked into the study one day, picking out one of the dictionaries from the shelf. They thought about using the computer, but they chickened out. It would’ve been a much more egregious crime than opening a book.

The issue was, they had no idea how to spell the word. They started at ‘S’, flipping through pages upon pages and finding nothing. See-vem. See-vem. None of the words looked right. They eventually crossed over into the next letter, ‘Sz’, unsure what sound that would even make. It was all so confusing… How did Caretaker even speak this?

“Can I help you?”

Whumpee flinched at the voice, slamming the dictionary shut immediately. “C-Caretaker– I– I wasn’t– I wasn’t doing anything! I was cleaning, and the book fell down, I was just trying to check whether it was intact–”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” they said with a smile. “I’m not mad, szívem. But if you were looking for something specific in there, maybe I could help.”

“N-no, no, it’s… it’s nothing… I…” They took a deep breath, trying to ground themself. It was now or never, really. They wouldn’t get a better chance to ask. “Well… I, I was wondering about, um… The nickname, I guess. What you always call me.”

“Ah, of course. I’m sorry, I’ve never really explained it, have I? It’s just a term of endearment.” They pulled out their phone and typed something. “I’m pretty sure the dictionary only has the root word. Here.”

Whumpee took the phone gingerly, looking at the translation program. Original word, in Hungarian: szívem. Yeah, they would’ve never gotten that right. Translation, in English…

Their eyes widened in disbelief. Next to them, Caretaker chuckled. “What did you think it meant?” they asked cheerily, seemingly unaware of all the horrible options that had been swirling around in Whumpee’s head before.

“I… I don’t even know,” they breathed.

They definitely didn’t think it meant something as innocent as ‘my heart’.

[luizd3ad]

First Home | Poly!Moonwaterkiller x GN!Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Remus Lupin X Regulus Black X Barty Crouch Jr x GN Reader WC: 1,094 CW: Poly Relationship, Anxiety, talks of Remus being in pain Author's Note: Heyyyy so like I know I haven’t been here for a while but I’m hoping I’ll be getting back into this😌🖤 Summary: Remus nervous about his first full moon in the new house

. ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆₊☽ ◯ ☾. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° .

Remus was pretty happy with his life at this point. 

He had great friends, a promising career and the most perfect and loving partners he could ask for.

But that didn't change the fact that for one night a month he absolutely loathed his life. 

He hated the moon almost as much as he hated himself during the moon.

Though over the years he had learned to accept what he was significantly more than he used to. 

He had learned to tolerate it. To live with it.

But that didn’t mean it didn't scare the absolute hell out of him most of the time. 

Especially when the conversation of moving in with his partners came into the loop. 

He was feeling beyond apprehensive about the idea of it all. 

It wasn't because he didn't love his partners, quite the opposite actually. It was because he loved them so much that the thought of accidentally hurting them or cursing them with the same fate as himself or… worse…  would often send him into a spiral of anxiety, overthinking and self loathing.

But eventually after months of reassurance -and Barty pouting- Remus caved and agreed that the four of you should finally move in together.

So after weeks of searching for a home -which according to you and Barty felt like it was taking ‘fucking forever’- you finally found your perfect home and moved in as soon as possible. 

That was a few weeks ago now and last night was the first full moon in the new house. 

Yesterday before nightfall Remus was beyond terrified. 

His mind had been clouded with overthinking and the absolute worst scenarios his brain could manage all day.

So when he woke up still in the basement that he and your entire friend group had spent countless hours reinforcing and charming -to Remus’s standards and preferences of course- he was so grateful. 

So grateful in fact that he was able to be distracted by the pain in his body a few moments longer than normal.

But eventually the pain consumed his body like it normally did.

For what could have been a few minutes or a few hours -Remus wasn't really sure- he just laid there looking up at the ceiling of the basement basking in the pain that ran through his body and his normal post full moon self loathing. Just completely lost in his own mind that was until he was pulled out by the sound of your voice.

“Moons? Are you awake?”

The sound of your voice had involuntarily brought a smile to Remus’s face and sent a wave of calm and comfort over him.

“Yea I’m awake love.” Remus groaned while sitting up feeling a few of his joints popping and his muscles tensing up.

It didn't take long for him to hear the sound of your footsteps coming down the stairs with a hot cup of coffee -that you meticulously made sure was exactly to his liking- and his favorite blanket in hand. 

Both things Remus had gladly and gratefully accepted.

“We made breakfast, if you're up for it.”

The sweet softens off your voice was slightly interrupted by Regulus chuckling.

“And of course by ‘we’ Y/N means they did the majority of the cooking since we all know I can't cook to save my life and we value our health enough to not want a repeat of when Barty tried to cook dinner for us the other week.”

Remus couldn't help but laugh a little, no matter how much it hurt, when he heard a very dramatic gasp from Barty.

“I'll have you know Black that I'm an excellent cook, you're just too much of a prick to appreciate such perfection.”

Remus continued to chuckle at the very familiar childish bickering happening between two of his lovers. 

He was actually enjoying the small distraction so much that he didn't notice when you sat next to him until he felt your shoulder brush against him.

“How are you feeling really, Remus?”

Remus couldn't help the small sigh that escaped his lips when he heard your words. “As good as to be expected love… I'm just grateful I didn’t get out and hurt one of you or worse...” 

You sighed softly and looked at Remus with a soft and loving look in your eyes. “Remus, I know you're worried but this bassment is a fortress. We'll be fine.”

Though you sounded so sure in your words Remus still wasn't fully convinced. 

His mind was already starting to spiral at this point with the possibilities and of the dangers that he imposed on the three most important people in his life.

Remus hadn't even realized he was now staring off into the black abyss of his coffee cup that was currently warming his hands till you placed your hand on top of his gaining his full attention.

When Remus’s eyes met yours he couldn't deny the love and honesty that he saw swimming in them which made your next words comfort him.

“We are fine. We will be fine. I know your anxiety won't go away but you need to remember that you have done everything in your power to ensure our safety and that's all you can do. Plus you know better than anyone that the three of us are very skilled with our magic so we are more than capable of taking care of ourselves. Not everything is on you Remus. We knew what we were signing up for when we asked for the four of us to move in together. We love you and everything will be fine I promise.”

Remus just sighed and nodded. 

A part of him honestly did feel better, he knew that he would never be a hundred percent comfortable for that one day a month but it made him feel better to know that you genuinely believed in your words and in him.

“Okay, I'll try to calm down more… I’m just so scared that I'm going to hurt one of you but I'll do my best to keep my anxiety at bay... Thank you, my love.”

Remus wrapped his arm around you and kissed the top of your head just being happy in the moment.

Once a month he loathed his life.

But everyday before and after the full moon he genuinely loved his life.

Right now he loves his life.

He had one of his lovers in his arms while his other two lovers were ‘fighting’.

This is the life he will forever be truly grateful for.

. ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆₊☽ ◯ ☾. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° .

[honeycreammilkshake]

"you are me."

i have a lot of thoughts on this whole scene, both shipping and non-shipping ones. the relationship between yuuji and sukuna is honestly the most fascinating and complex one that i have seen in anime, and one of the reasons for that is just how much these two actually understand each other, which i don't think a lot of people realize. yuuji and sukuna see right through each other, more than anyone else does, and i think that's why their bond is far more personal than it seems to be.

yuuji and sukuna are enemies. they hate each other for their opposing ideals and characteristics. yuuji is caring, empathetic, protective, kind, and willing to put his life on the line for both friends and strangers. sukuna is narcissistic, self-absorbed, indifferent to suffering, murderous, unfeeling, and unconcerned with any life other than his own. they seem to be polar opposites in every way, so why would yuuji say something as contradicting as "you are me" to sukuna?

i think it's widely overlooked just how complex yuuji's character is. he's overall a "sweet" person, but he isn't very stable (he has been described by quite a few characters as being a bit "crazy"), he has a high tolerance for disturbing or gory things (he took learning about curses and fighting them very easily), he doesn't question the danger he's been put into (he actually runs headfirst into it), and he can be really violent and vengeful as well.

this is all explored very well in his confrontation with mahito, where he also says "i am to you" to the curse.

why are these scenes so different? mahito and sukuna both killed people yuuji knew and cared about as well as strangers that yuuji would die to protect. shouldn't yuuji be approaching sukuna with the same hate, disgust, and vengeance that he shows to mahito? shouldn't he be lashing out and making sukuna pay for all that he did?

why is he showing his "crazy side" to mahito but not to sukuna?

to give some context to this scene with mahito, the curse wanted yuuji to accept their similarities. and, in the end, yuuji did.

yuuji is acknowledging that he serves as nothing more than a weapon to keep killing the curses of the world, perhaps with no other deeper purpose than that. just like curses only exist to bring misery and prey on humans, yuuji's sole existence at this point is just to act on the orders of sorcerers: to keep eradicating curses and eventually help kill sukuna by dying with him. he doesn't need more meaning or roles than that.

but sukuna doesn't see yuuji as just another cog. he doesn't respect yuuji, true, and he loathes to give the brat any kind of credit. but he knows yuuji is the only one who really, truly cares about sukuna's devastating impact. the death of innocent strangers doesn't affect others quite as much as it does yuuji (even nanami in the vs mahito arc noted how much yuuji cared about the suffering of others).

and many of the other sorcerers are also not as horrified or repulsed by sukuna's actions as yuuji is. in fact, sorcerers and curses alike look up to sukuna. gojo actually seems to respect the king of curse's lifestyle. it feels like yuuji is really the only one to truly despise sukuna for his actions and ideals.

and sukuna knows this. sukuna knows how much the suffering of others gets to yuuji. which is why he gives yuuji such special treatment: he saves a unique brand of torment just for yuuji that he doesn't really give to anyone else.

sukuna intentionally returned control to yuuji's body just for yuuji to witness the massive damage and death that sukuna's domain expansion caused. it killed thousands of people, innocent strangers included.

it led to yuuji breaking down, even wishing for his own death. but yuuji is strong and, deep down, sukuna knows this. yuuji doesn't give up and instead uses his rage to fuel his fight with mahito, where he snaps and shows us his vengeful side. he doesn't need any other reason than mahito being a curse to want to kill him, over and over. that is yuuji's purpose. which seems like an uninteresting and boring one to someone like sukuna.

but for all that sukuna keeps calling yuuji uninteresting and boring, he shows a lot of investment in yuuji's growth and in their fights.

he's even invested enough to show disappointment when yuuji lost to choso. (if he thought yuuji was so weak, why did he seem so bothered by yuuji's loss here?)

and then sukuna looked surprised and curious when choso got hit with some kind of false memory empathetic attack that included yuuji in it. he's having a lot of strong reactions to someone he claims isn't interesting enough for him.

sukuna also loves to aggravate yuuji, somehow knowing how to provoke a strong reaction from him.

there's a lot of interesting things about this scene, one of them being that yuuji refers to sukuna as a "curse" which is technically untrue. sukuna is a sorcerer who used a set of cursed objects to send his soul into the future, but he isn't a curse himself.

but to yuuji, sukuna is nothing more than a curse because he doesn't show any sort of positive traits. sukuna's mindset reflects that of a curse since he only exists to please himself and loves to cultivate the kind of negative emotions curses are born of (fear, hate, jealousy, selfishness, etc).

there's also a clever reference to sukuna being a cannibal through yuuji saying "let's see if you can chew up me and my suffering." yet what we've seen throughout this story is yuuji essentially cannibalizing sukuna by eating his cursed fingers, which he calls the taste really gross. so i wonder... what would yuuji taste like to sukuna?

every human has a unique taste but all of them are fleeting to sukuna. there's no actual meaning or savoring to it. it's just a way for him to pass the time until death.

both yuuji and sukuna are cannibalizing as a form of destruction. but while yuuji is eating the cursed fingers so that he can hold all of sukuna inside of him for them to be exorcised together, sukuna was eating humans simply because he wanted to. he ate whatever he wanted because he was at the top. he is an apex predator with no real rivals or threats. it was for a completely self-absorbed and depraved indulgence while yuuji is giving up his life on this plan to save others.

yuuji and his suffering is the complete antithesis to how sukuna's eating only serves himself. which is very interesting to see when yuuji challenges sukuna to "chew him up." yuuji is proving to be more predator than prey and is far more of a challenge than sukuna wants to admit.

but maybe something about yuuji's resilience does please sukuna? maybe he actually finds worth in yuuji never giving up?

though he still underestimates and discredits yuuji's strength, he actually looks impressed with yuuji and seems even a bit eager to take him on again.

for someone who claims to find yuuji not worth his time, sukuna is showing yuuji far too much special treatment that he doesn't give to anyone else. he even calls yuuji a specific name (kozou) that he doesn't use with anyone else. others are just various offensive terms, but only yuuji seems to have a name just for himself.

sukuna is a really contradicting and complex character, and his relationship with yuuji really shows that.

i've seen a lot of anti-sukuna sentiment after his death, and i understand why a lot of fans hate him and celebrated when he died. however, i think a lot of fans have this somewhat inaccurate view of him being nothing more than a static villain with zero complexities and no chance of any kind of character development.

some of sukuna's most underrated and interesting traits are that he is actually pretty smart (he has an overall plan and is making all the right moves to get there), he's cultured (a poetry snob who hired a chef just to cook him humans instead of eating them raw, and perhaps he even knows more about flowers than he lets on), he shows respect to those he deems worthy and even seeks to learn from them, and he might not actually be the most "evil" person in jjk (which I consider to be kenjaku, but that warrants another post).

overall, sukuna is and has always been more than what he first seems, but a lot of fans don't want to see this or they overlook it.

after sukuna reveals he was an unwanted curse of a child, there was pushback against fans who interpreted this line as sukuna having a tragic backstory that explained his current self.

i understand why these fans don't want sukuna to be a sympathetic villain and i've read posts on how gege writes his villains to be intentionally unsympathetic.

from here (https://x.com/soukatsu_/status/1520796590612566022)

sukuna is the perfect example of a villain that is unsympathetic. he is horrifyingly strong, lives as he pleases, murders people for fun, is a literal cannibal, acts and appears monstrous, and makes our protagonist yuuji suffer over and over again. he represents exactly all the ideals and traits yuuji despises and the two of them are fighting each other because of this.

however, one thing i want to point out is just because sukuna is completely unsympathetic now doesn't mean he couldn't have had an actually tragic past that made him into this.

i believe that sukuna was seen as a curse from his birth on. much like how jogo wanted curses to be the true humans (sukuna calls this jogo essentially wanting to become human) sukuna became purely curse-like to escape being human. whether or not you empathize with him is irrelevant, because after he became the king of curses, sukuna has committed countless irredeemable horrors that even i, as a sukuna fan, don't ever want him to be forgiven or easily justified for doing.

having a tragic past doesn't justify his crimes, it only provides a catalyst for them. it explains why he, who was born human, became more of a curse than some curses are. you don't need to have sympathy for him after that. just like he has no sympathy for those he considers weak and inferior, he has no more reason to be a tragic character.

a lot of people acted like sukuna potentially having a tragic past that turned him into the monster he is now makes him "uncool" or "uncharacteristic" of himself but, to me, it makes his character all the more detailed without changing the fact that he is still purely "evil" and irredeemable.

but does this all make him incapable of character development?

i personally believe that yuuji has been affecting sukuna throughout the whole series, especially in these last few chapters.

i recently came across a post on reddit on why sukuna could never be more than a static villain character. one of the arguments was that gege never intended for sukuna to have any kind of redemption arc.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/Jujutsufolk/comments/16vphxl/sukuna_is_different_from_other_strongest/?rdt=36326)

(now, i couldn't find the original source where this interview came from, and it's not worded very well so i'm thinking it's been quickly translated. and there's always missed meanings and alterations to the original message when translations have been made, especially with japanese. i'm also not sure if the "him" being referred to is mahito or sukuna, but i'm assuming it can apply to both of them.)

this post was made about a year ago, so i assume this interview with gege is also a bit dated now. i think gege is intentionally vague in their interviews because they don't want to reveal too much, but my own interpretation of this post is that gege never intended for sukuna to get any sort of redemption because he is incapable of being redeemed through any kind of love.

and i agree with that. i don't want sukuna to get redemption. what he has done is unforgivable and i don't want him to get off easy for it. but him showing character development is not the same as him getting redemption. and him being affected by love isn't the same as him fully accepting it either.

in these last few chapters, yuuji has offered mercy to sukuna multiple times, despite how even he himself considered it to be a lost cause.

as i wrote earlier, yuuji is the only character who really understands how terrible and curse-like sukuna is. he hates sukuna on this fact alone. yuuji told mahito that his purpose is to kill curses, and sukuna - in the end - is nothing more than just another curse.

so why did yuuji suddenly change all that up and show empathy and genuine concern for sukuna in these last few chapters? why was he trying so hard to convince sukuna that they can co-exist?

one of my sukuita-cult friends (flight-of-death) pointed out that during his fight with yuuji, sukuna explicitly recalled his conversation with kashimo about not needing another person to fulfill him.

while sukuna saying he didn't anyone else to fulfill him was relevant during his discussion with kashimo, it's very interesting that he was remembering his own exact words about it while facing down yuuji, who was making sukuna doubt some of his previous statements.

my friend has convinced me that sukuna and yuuji have found a "reluctant fulfillment" in each other. and i think this is proving to be very much possible.

yuuji was alone most of his life. without wasuke there for him, he could have turned into a ruthless monster like sukuna. yuuji has so much physical and emotional strength, but it was the catalyst of wasuke's death that motivated yuuji to use that strength for good. he might have chosen to be selfish and only concerned with his own wants and needs like sukuna did, but wasuke provided the role yuuji needed to be the selfless person he is now.

i think that yuuji, in all his loneliness, found a kind of closeness to sukuna, even if it was unwanted. and sukuna has definitely been affected by yuuji, too.

as sukuna is dying, megumi finally regains control. he notices how sukuna seems to be scared of death.

sukuna genuinely does look concerned about dying. his mouths are in the shape of a grin but are turned upside down and look more like actual dread. for someone who claimed that eating people was only a way to pass the time until death, sukuna now looks unwilling to die.

i think that this shows that sukuna gained some sort of respect for life, even if it was only in his will to keep living. he does seem to want to keep existing, and it's interesting that it's what yuuji offered him.

yuuji was created by kenjaku to be sukuna's vessel. the sorcerers wanted to use yuuji as a vessel to hunt down all the cursed fingers so that yuuji and sukuna would die together. no matter how you see it, sukuna and yuuji were bound to end up either living or dying together. that is their fate. but now that he has more power in making his own choices, yuuji seems to genuinely want to share the kinder fate with sukuna: to live together. and if you think about it, them coexisting makes a lot of sense.

sukuna has been described as a natural disaster, so how can yuuji have any kind of empathy for something as devastating and unfeeling as an earthquake or a tsunami? in truth, the human race has been coexisting with natural disasters since the beginning - especially japan, which has weathered many terrible calamities. yuuji is a lot like the embodiment of the resilience and strength needed to survive such disasters, so i think he's more than capable of handling a life with sukuna, especially if sukuna is far more subdued.

and sukuna being allowed to live isn't redemption at all. though it would be a form of character development for him, it would still be one of the most selfish things he could do, as it would mean condemning yuuji to an indefinite amount of time with sukuna.

but yuuji seems to want that. he is willingly offering up the rest of his life to sukuna, for them to live together.

personally, i don't consider this to be a form of redemption in any way. he is proving sukuna's mindset wrong, not forgiving him. just accepting his nature and still offering a way to coexist.

i think that by offering this to sukuna, yuuji would essentially become that person that sukuna claims he doesn't need to feel fulfillment. but it's clear to me sukuna wasn't satisfied with his life in the past, since he couldn't offer an explanation to kashimo about why he chose to cross the ages as cursed objects. he is obviously lying or beginning to doubt his own words.

and i think that's why he chose death.

accepting yuuji's mercy, finding that fulfillment sukuna denies needing, would be very un-curselike of him and he can't have that. he would rather be seen as an inhuman monster than something capable of accepting love.

so in the end, sukuna is doing exactly what gege said he would: rejecting love and rejecting anything that makes him less of a curse.

but yuuji isn't easily pushed away. he kept coming back for wasuke and i think that if he really does care that much about sukuna, that if he's wiling to live with him even if no one else accepts it, he won't let sukuna go without more of a fight either.

they can still find fulfilment in each other. they are capable of coexisting. and if sukuna decides to make that change, it doesn't necessarily mean he's completely broken character. and if they don't get to survive together in this lifetime, there's still a good chance for change if they're reincarnated.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

A show about Self-hatred, Love, & Connection

TW: Self-hatred, Suicide also Sydcarmy warning for the antis

Carmy's self-hatred is a big part of his character and it's his biggest hurdle in getting past his trauma. His self-loathing becomes apparent in the first season, particularly in the episode "Hands," where he tolerates verbal abuse. This inner critic is rooted in familial and complex trauma, existing long before his experiences in NYC.

The Familial Pattern

Those experiencing self-hatred may or may not, be in a situation that requires them to be in contact with someone from their painful past, causing distress and a tendency to withdraw to avoid experiencing painful memories and emotions...

Jodi Clarke, MA, LPC/MHSP

The Berzatto family has a history of self-loathing, with Donna's mental barriers and emotional and verbal abuse, not just from her but from extended family members, who made an impression on the Berzatto siblings.

The episode Fishes dives into Donna's inner critic that's similar to Carmy's, she says no one would care or miss her, we see the reasoning for self-hatred from the berating of Carmy, to Uncle Lee vehemently telling Mikey he's nothing, to the unforgiving nickname for Natalie, such abuse and extreme criticism is to the point that it becomes ingrained in their thoughts.

Mikey unfortunately succumbs to the pattern, but Natalie breaks the curse by attending Al-Anon meetings and loving those who instills confidence in her.

Her own actions in seeking comfort lessen the impact of Donna's self-loathing influences, as she asks for an embrace from Steven. I believe that this moment shows us how connection can help calm down our extreme inner critic.

Also Natalie's connection with Pete helps her own self compassion and feeling deserving of the good things in life. Pete tells her how great the restaurant is. He easily gives compliments to Carmy. This treatment is foreign to the Berzattos but is embraced by Natalie as she breaks the cycle.

Connecting to those who make you feel good is also foreigner to Carmy, he struggles with Pete's compliments and receiving it, he pushes those away from fear of the unknown territory of feeling good.

Feeling undeserving is one of the reasons he avoids emotional intimacy with Claire. Not only does she remind him of a past filled with ridicule from Richie and Mikey but he can't understand why someone could love him. If he could open up and allow intimacy, he would be on the path towards acceptance.

Solace in Sydney

Theres one significant moment of self-acceptance and that happens in 2x09. Carmy's character growth is clear as he chooses to listen to Sydney's words and affirmation instead of ignoring them.

I want to note that it frustrates me when people comment that Sydney's voice only contributed to Carm's work-life when his self-hatred shows up in his personal life.

From "Let It Rip" to "You Were the Most Excellent CDC," we take a look in Carmy's potential to overcome anxiety and self-loathing. The difference between "Let It Rip" is that Sydney's voice and his bond with her and it gives Carmy moments of feeling good about himself like Natalie feels with Pete. That moment of acceptance is a big step in his relationship with himself and Sydney's love for him serves as one of the remedies for his self-hatred.

I want to emphasize that Sydney can't fix Carmy, but her company, talents, and aspirations help him feel good and encourage self-compassion and confidence. Sometimes, loving someone helps you fall in love with yourself more, as long as this person also supports you in the same way.

To beat loneliness and self-loathing, Carmy needs to open his heart and contribute to filling his own cup, then he could receive love when someone pours into him.

But it's funny because he's already doing this with Sydney. He allows her love to wash over him, and even through mistakes, he tries to believe in her the way she believes in him.

Carmy will experience true love for himself and others when he moves forward and strives toward a genuine connection (forgiveness, compassion, etc.). When Carmy receives that love, he will finally feel deserving of something good happening in his life.

[mrs-snape5984]

“There is no other love, it's only yours…”

“You're all I want, all I love…” (“You’re all I want” by Cigarettes after Sex)

Yesterday I had a really rough day. It didn’t just feel like one of my regular “PEM-Crash-Days” (PEM = post-exertional malaise = the worsening of symptoms after crossing the boundaries of my condition, due to my disease ME/CFS). The whole day was also coated in a thick layer of sadness and grief…an emotional turmoil, which I could only barely endure. Well…mixing these feelings with another wave of fever and pain, seasoned with the incapacity of tolerating screen time, adding the suffocating sensation of loneliness….et voilà! The perfect recipe for a day in hell was created! 🙄

In order to cope with my emotions, I found myself drowning in my fantasies of teenage Severus and my undeniably self-inserted OC Jules…rewriting one of their short fictional scenes. Again, Severus was tormented by his own insecurities, getting carried away in self-loathing. I don’t know, how many times I’ve already written scenes like these. Jules encourages Severus to stay resilient, praising him for all those traits, which he only identifies as his flaws and weaknesses. But for Jules, there’s so much beauty, so much strength in his imperfections. She’s making his blemishes look like the most loveable attributes of Severus’ personality with her passionate speech.

When I wrote this little scene, I recognised something: I already knew, that I’m identifying myself a lot with Severus…but Jules’ words of encouragement and consolation to her beloved friend Sevy…well, they’re are also things, I would crave to hear for myself (how pathetic, huh?!). But since I’m struggling immensely with the acceptance of my own insecurities and fears, I’m not able to reassure myself of my own worth. It’s just not on the table for me!

So…I’ll just keep on telling Severus in my stories, that he deserves nothing less than the whole world…and that Jules will always try to make him feel loved and cared for. She will never stop to compare his flaws with her own weaknesses by explaining to him, how perfectly they’re matching. Jules will never grow tired to assure Severus, that his cynicism is the perfect complement to her sense of sarcasm. For the Slytherin girl, it's a clear sign for Sevy’s extremely high intellect, which is also something, that she adores about her friend. In Jules’ eyes, his bitterness mirrors a form of hypersensitivity, a characteristic, which she knows so well from herself. That’s why she’s acting so empathetically with Severus, whenever he’s suffering with his life…and Jules is convinced, that sharing those feelings will make them less unbearable! The girl even praises Severus’ stubbornness by telling him, that she’s enjoying every good and intelligent argument with him to clear the air between them. All together, Severus’ imperfections are pure perfection to the hopelessly devoted (and obviously love-struck 😅) girl.

I’m aware of the overdramatic nature and the unnecessary fluffiness of my short stories, but that’s the reason, why I’m writing them for my eyes only. It’s my form of a coping mechanism…the only way of allowing myself some kind of self-assurance and comfort…through Severus!

Some time ago, I found an artist here on tumblr, who made me fall head over heels for her tender style of drawing my beloved dungeon bat. Especially an artwork of her interpretation of the younger Snape made my heart ache with longing for him, so of course, I just had to commission @pssherri for an illustration of Severus and my OC Jules in their teenage years.

Sonja, you did an amazing job with this project and I can’t express, how grateful I am for your kindness and the dedication to your profession! It was a pleasure to cooperate with you on this idea of mine and I hope, you’ll be open to work on more of my requests some day. Thank you for everything, my dear!

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[seriousbrat]

I'm extremely unfair to Remus on this blog, the truth is fanon remus is personally offensive to me on many levels so I'm loath to give him protagonism of any kind lol. But that's not fair at all to a character that actually, when all's said and done, I do love. perhaps the marauder I'm least interested in (lol) but he still rates high on my list of fave hp characters and I honestly find him a very pleasant perspective to write from. he's just like some guy. his big crime is negligence/avoidance and I love that for him. to be honest I think his position is a difficult one to fully understand, he is a character that I'm able to muster up a lot of empathy for because of that. like can any of us irl understand what it's like to turn into a literal monster every month since childhood, the point-blank rejection and hatred from society, and what effect that might have on someone's psyche? it's interesting!!!

moony's worst hits, lets go:

remus tolerating the marauders' bullying: obv this was wrong. he was the only one who recognised it was wrong, and he tolerated it. he 'made them feel ashamed of themselves' sometimes per sirius, but honestly I can understand why he never spoke up. I don't think we should underestimate how rare the marauders' tolerance, not only tolerance but the lengths they went to to help remus with his condition was. for a teenager? I can only imagine how that must have felt tbh. he likely thought that he barely deserved their friendship and loyalty and that he was lucky to have it so why would he do anything to ruin that

remus not telling anyone about sirius being an animagus: bad lol, his worst moment probably. again, though, I can understand it even though I don't justify it. the trust dumbledore had placed in him, first to accept him at hogwarts and then again as a professor (we know how difficult it is for werewolves to find employment of any kind) and he just couldn't face betraying that trust. Luckily for Remus it turned out ok but it is kind of insane that he didn't tell dumbledore tbh.

remus not writing to harry: idc about this personally lol but to me it ties into remus's inferiority complex. he doesnt, and will never, see himself as anything like a father figure to harry the way sirius does. he barely sees himself as a worthy father to his own kid let alone the complex case that is harry. is that unfair to harry and unempathetic? yeah probs but also it makes sense to me even beyond the reason Remus gives in canon for not writing. He put Harry in terrible danger in PoA and given Remus's self-hatred he probably feels guilty about that lol.

walking out on Tonks: his other worst hit. But I can understand him, even though I think Harry was 100% right to tell him off. Again we've got this man's crippling inferiority complex, from what he says he thinks he's a burden and a curse to both Tonks and Teddy-- and you know what, society isn't exactly contradicting this belief. Obviously Tonks doesn't agree and that should be all that matters, but sometimes it doesn't seem that way. There's avoidance here (Remus's big flaw) and I legit think he thought he was doing Tonks a favour by disappearing on some quest with Harry and likely dying in the process. Interesting stuff but also very sad.

all this to say, I don't believe in "defending" characters, just understanding them, and even though I barely post about him I do find Remus very interesting, worthy of empathy in many ways. I'll admit the werewolf thing leads me to give him more of a pass than other characters just because I find that so horrible lol and feel so sorry for him but anyway. a good character in my opinion.

[hollowsart]

Guy Gardner: Green Lantern!

Finally finished my redesign and ref sheet for this guy !!

I'm leaving the PL design cuz it slaps and also it's funny and I wanna make it canon that he got that ring at some point and had to deal with that for awhile. (he made it work. had fun)

he had an experience once with a red ring and he hated every minute of it. he's always running from it.

Anyways, he gives me cowboy and punk vibes.

miscellaneous info: (sorry if anything sounds repetitive)

--

Had a terrible upbringing, was not the favored child, often told he was a disgrace and compared often to his brother, really messed with his mental health and self perception.

Rebelled a lot in spite of his father. mother did nothing to help him, only one good point in high eyes is that at least she didn't hurt him. He doesn't have a great relationship with his family and has a bit of loathing towards his brother He has since become estranged from his family by choice.

Further rebellion lead to him living a more punk life, going against his father, a cop. He's living how he feels comfortable and free without the expectations from his family. Anything that would get a rise out of his dad? Oh, he's gonna do it. He's grown out of it, but sometimes the habits die hard Hard to give up, hard to move on.

Guy struggled to keep a job for years, finding and taking whatever he could. The last job he had before he was found by Abin Sur's ring was as a teacher for a local school. He was about to be fired and needed a new job anyway. He was happy to take it and escape his earth life for a little while. A further rebellion against his family, he'll claim, but really it was an escape from his miserable life at the time.

As a result of his constant search for a job, he's gained a lot of experience and knowledge with a wide array of things, such as swimming, coaching, cooking, mechanics, engineering, mending, dancing-- He's not a professional at any of these, he's quite rusty with some of them, but he's still very capable if these skills are ever needed.

With the ring, Guy finally found a job that he was good at, successful. It was one he didn't fumble catastrophically. He loves the GL corps and will do whatever he can to keep it, it's a place he feels accepted and liked. even if his personality and attitude may be a little hard to digest and tolerate for some. He's very passionate and cares a lot despite how stubborn and brash he may act.

The GL corps is really all Guy has. He puts a lot of his devotion into it. it's the only consistently positive things in his life. It's the one thing he would never run from. He would honestly defend the corps with his life, taking the oath to heart. His word is his bond and he values it.

Often gets into fights, is usually the one who starts it whether he intended to or not. He does finish them, at least.... well. If possible, he tries to. Albeit.. not in the best of ways. He still has a lot to learn.

Guy overcompensates his fears and worries, his anxieties with an overconfident and boastful, loud and abrasive attitude. His more vulnerable side is one that less than 5 people have ever seen and know of. He'd rather people see him as a dirtbag than as any less than a man. His dad instilled a lot of negativity towards himself from a young age. Feeling inferior. Anything goes wrong? Guy is bottling that up and taking it out on training dummies and letting it out in his room with a drink or two.

[ttulipwritezz]

Watch You Walk Away.~ R. Lupin

Synopsis: Remus had a hard time accepting that he deserved love, and rejected it when you gave it to him. So he watched as you gave that love to his best friend.

Warnings: ex remus, reader is dating sirius, marriage, mention of love, self depreciation, self loathing, angst, far too much italic font sorry.

Remus and sirius shared a bond like no other. At this point it wasn't even questionable. They were best friends, Brothers from different mothers, if you will.

So it came as a surprise when Remus pulled you back by your hand to hold you back as you were about to make your way towards your boyfriend.

Of course no one would be super pleased to have their ex holding them back from their boyfriend.

So he spoke, as to not startle you further.

"Why him?"

The question was baffling at the least.

"What do you mean, Rem?"

No matter your relationship the name stuck around quite a while.

"Why sirius?"

He repeated with more clarity this time.

"Because..." You began thinking for a moment.

He waited, and he waited patiently. That's all he ever wanted to be. When you left him for the better, he realised just how awful he had been.

It was no question that Remus struggled with self worth and acceptance.

After his father drifted away from him due to his lycanthropy he found it so hard to believe he deserved love.

So he said he didn't. He said he didn't deserve you.

He believed it.

But having the love of your life constantly question their worth can only be tolerated so much.

"Because He loves me."

You answered, glancing anywhere at the room but him.

His heart shattered. He blinked a few times, as if trying to make sure this is real.

He didn't miss the way you said 'he loves me' not 'i love him'.

It made him feel so guilty. He felt as though he never made you feel loved. As if He was never good enough.

To an extent that was true. Sirius made you feel wanted. Loved. He made you feel...happy.

But the words 'i love him' not leaving your mouth stuck with Remus.

It brought about the smallest bit of hope to his shattered heart.

"He's not good for you."

The nerve he has, huh?

"And you are?" You spit back. Venom lacing your voice but never quite meaning it.

"I needed you Remus. I needed my boyfriend then"

His mind lingered on the 'then'

It lingered because it will never be 'now' anymore.

You continued,

"i needed someone who understood what a relationship was, i needed someone who wasn't a self depreciating, self loathing, self hating person. I needed you to love yourself to let me love you!" You took a deep breath after your words, tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

It was true, the number of times you'd heard remus say that he was a monster and he didn't deserve you was infuriating.

You can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped.

"Love please, I-"

"No. You don't get to call me that. You know Remus, Sirius treats me right...he treats me like I'm somebody. He doesn't make me feel invalidated, he trusts me! He makes me so, so happy and I couldn't possibly wish for more."

Without giving him a chance to speak you continued-

"so out of all people- you don't get to decide if he's good for me. Anyone but you does."

Your tears escaped.

And he stood there, out of words, the little bit of hope now crushed, laying beside his shattered heart.

So you walked away, you walked away and he watched you walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I suppose that's how he found himself standing at the altar, watching you walk down the isle as you clutch the bouquet of flowers close to your chest.

He watched with a tear, never letting it slip from his green eyes.

He was the best man, oh how he wished it was him who was marrying you instead.

His desire to hold you again, kiss you again, make you smile again seemed to remain as just that. A desire.

He watched as you beamed up at his best friend.

Beamed with a smile that he didn't put there, he only wished he had.

He watched as vows were exchanged.

This time you did say 'I love him' and it hurt so much worse.

Watched as you cried happy tears, something you never did in front of him before.

He watched as you were happy, you were loved and it wasn't by him.

He watched as you left, this time for good, left and changed your last name to Black.

He watched as you left with his best friend, his brother, and went on to continue whatever you planned for yourself in the future, just without him this time.

So you walked away, you walked away and he watched you walk away.

Again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: so...sad rem. I liked this one tbh

Like, reblog or comment :D

I wanna do a fluff Remus soon probably so feel free to request:D

[itsclydebitches]

I know there's a lot to unpack in James' new interview but I am feral, FERAL I SAY, over this fucking line right here:

"His need was to be loved, and his tragic flaw was the belief that he was unlovable."

Back before Season 3 hit and Tedependent became ~trendy~ (not actually lol) I was heacanoning and writing Trent as a pretty anxious individual, someone with a ton of internalized self-loathing whose "whole vibe" was more of a mask than legitimate self-confidence. At the time I worried about him coming across as too OOC because really, what did we have to support this? Ted Lasso's prevailing theme of men discovering love and support when they previously had none? The lovely parallel of Trent struggling with many of Ted's own flaws, but presenting in opposite ways (cutting cynicism vs. endless optimism)? The then—far less developed—comments from James that Trent might have a rough relationship with his father? It felt unsubstantiated, unpersuasive, built more on my own interest in those kinds of characters and the occasional awkward moment from Trent than actual canon. Even into Season 3 I questioned whether my reading of him as struggling, significantly, with the care Ted offers wasn't just a result of my own, imagined inner life for him.

But NOW.

I'm sorry, hold up, can I just re-confirm that TRENT'S TRAGIC FLAW IS HIS BELIEF THAT HE'S UNLOVABLE? Unlovable??? Thank you, James Lance, for validating every reading I've had of this character since he first appeared on screen. Do people realize the depth this adds to every interaction Trent has? Particularly with Ted? Unlovable Trent Crimm starts off this relationship with a sincere compliment on his style ("I like your glasses"), something that Season 3 will present as a core part of his personality, something he's largely hidden away. Unlovable Trent Crimm grappling with the fact that yes, Ted enjoyed spending time with him. Him. WHILE he was playing the part of the asshole journalist. Unlovable Trent not being rejected when he admits, in moments of vulnerability, that he "Loves [their] chats." Unlovable Trent having his father's (likely snide) "Independent" comment reframed as a fun pun + advice to follow his "bliss": you have support, Trent, no matter what you choose to do. I don't care if you're successful covering a masculine-coded sport, I care if you're happy. Unlovable Trent committing the ultimate betrayal and being forgiven for it, immediately. Unlovable Trent being forcibly integrated into the Richmond family; actively accepted rather than passively tolerated: yes you should work here, yes you're a Diamond Dog, sit your butt down, Trenthouse Magazine, you will never be excluded again.

I'm sorry for the rambling post but I'm just so!! Insane about this!!! So much of Trent's hesitance could have been written off as a result of his career. That is, it might have been merely a learned reaction after decades of deliberately pissing people off. Of course they dislike him, but take him out of that environment and everything's fixed. Yet James has confirmed that he played Trent as intrinsically believing this. The career was a result of that unfounded fear—Might as well keep people at a distance before they hurt me first—as well as, simultaneously, a desire to somehow achieve the love that should have been unconditional from the start—Maybe my father will like me if I can be that "alpha male man's man" in print. Because this isn't just a flaw, it's a tragic flaw, a literary term that denotes a deficiency that leads to the character's downfall. This belief is so entrenched that it has led to Trent actively self-sabotaging his chances of being loved in the first place; a horrible self-fulfilling prophecy. He NEEDED someone like Ted—a fucking love sledgehammer that forces people to accept his care in the least subtle ways possible, even when they're acting as their own worst enemy—and by god, he got him!

Aside from Nate, Trent has always felt like the most isolated character to me at the start of the series (and even Nate has a good relationship with his mother and sister). What we've learned in Season 3 and James' interviews has only reinforced that reading for me: he was closeted in his marriage, unintentionally hurting his daughter, he's suffering under his father's expectations, he hates the press persona he's created to survive, he's bored at his job, footballers and other potential interviewees despise him—and not without reason (Roy). He has no friends that we see pre-Richmond and he's reached a point where the simple act of someone saying that they liked spending the day with him—again, while he's actively TRYING to piss them off and keep his distance—has him in such a state of shock he runs for the door, pens an uncharacteristically hopeful write-up, and is well on his way to upending his entire life for that man.

Because of course he is!!! From Trent's perspective Ted is a fucking impossibility shaped into human form. This is a man in his 40s whose greatest lifelong fear—now all but a certainty at his age—has been dismantled in a matter of hours. I'd write a book-length love letter to him too! And RIP to finale!Trent, but I would have run fucking Rom-Com style after the man who not only changed my life, but my entire sense of self-worth. (Ah fuck, but there's that tragic flaw again, keeping Trent hesitant. I now stand by my reading of the "I'll leave you be" scene as an unrequited goodbye.)

But finale aside, the man who'd convinced himself he was unlovable fell for the man who was love incarnate.

If that's not the most romantic shit you've ever heard idk what is!!!

[sleeplesssmoll]

Reverse 1999 HC: Jealousy

Playing with the idea of jealousy and how it would manifest in the pookies because I couldn't sleep.

Note: I'm a firm believer in emotions existing outside of reason, but it's the way we manage them that reveals who we are. You are not your sadness, anger, or jealousy, but the way you deal with these emotions is a reflection of your character.

Sonetto

Manifestations: Jealousy manifests as anger. If left unaddressed, it will turn into confusion and hurt.

Coping: Sonetto will cling to her partner. She will be vocal about her feelings, though it may be hard for her to put her feelings into words since she struggles understanding them herself. Once she is alone with partner, the clinging will intensify.

What to do: a smile, words of affirmation, a hug, or any signs of affection will dispel the jealousy. She can't stay mad at her partner.

What not to do: do not dismiss her feelings or ignore her. It will absolutely break her heart. Due to her loyalty and devotion she'll stay with her partner even if they make her miserable and may try to "fix" things.

Reversed: putting aside the fact Sonetto isn't a flirtatious person to begin with, she's too loyal and devoted to flirt with anyone else. Because jealousy is such an ugly emotion, she won't inflict it on her partner although she is very curious to see how they would react.

Schneider

Manifestation: depeneds on the situation. If her partner is being flirted with (one-sided), She will make herself known to the threat whisk her partner away. However, if her partner was also flirting, the jealousy will appear as coldness or quiet anger.

Coping: She's fought for everything else in her life, so for once she wants someone to fight for her. She is also not above flirting with someone else to get a reaction from her partner, but this is out of anger and without real investment into the poor soul on the other side. She may also withdraw from her partner and hopes they'll do the right thing and come to her first.

What to do: Because her partner will get the cold shoulder, it's up to them to bridge the gap (if they were the one who screwed up. Schneider wouldn't be mad at them if it was one-sided flirting from the other side). Loyalty and love must be proven if her partner wants forgiveness. However, reconciliation will be full of affection. She loves her partner a lot, but she needs to know they feel the same.

What not to do: the Mafia Boss won't tolerate betrayal and disloyalty. Expect to wake with a gun to your head. A bit of flirting is forgivable, but anything beyond that is unacceptable.

Reversed: Outside of anger, Schneider won't flirt with other people once she's in a relationship. She'd be too occupied with her beloved to even see other people. Non-stop flirting and PDA.

Vertin

Manifestation: Vertin is very hard to make jealous because she is a the "I'm happy as long as you're happy type." However, if her partner is being very brazen about it, that changes things. There will be no outward signs of jealousy, but once she is alone with her partner she will ask them if she did something wrong or if there's something else they want from her but aren't getting. On the inside, she takes this a personal failure to make her partner happy and it manifests as self-loathing or disappointment in herself.

Coping: She will try to find out why her partner acted the way they did, which will end up with her assuming she did something wrong. She will try to make her partner happy and "fix" things and may lather them with gifts and affection. If she believes she can't make you happy, she will end the relationship first. She won't fight for your love if she genuinely believes you'd be happier with someone else. However, she'll always fight for you as a person even if things will never be the same between you.

What to do: Accept her gifts and the extra attention even if they're odd (like when you accept the dead bug your cat brought you because you know they just want to show how much they love you by sharing their hunt). Her partner should be open about their thoughts and feelings. She prefers talking things out and straightforward conversation. She's also a tactile person so physical intimacy can help reinforce the bond.

What not to do: don't dismiss her efforts to make you happy. Don't try to make her jealous, it will backfire. Lack of physical contact could be mistaken for anger (a touch on the hand or a hug would prevent this. I'm talking about absolutely no touch).

Reversed: Vertin is the worst out of the trio because she isn't trying to flirt or come off as interested, but her touchy ways and lack of boundaries lead to misunderstandings. This behavior is hard to curve because she's always been this way but also because she doesn't quite understand what she's doing wrong. That being said, she'd never want to upset her partner and will try to change her ways if they mention it bothers them.

[flowerslut]

about the last ask you answered, at which point do you think rosalie started to like jasper? (I mean, actually like, and not just tolerate him) Also, isn't it canon that he's her favorite brother? I think they are like the cold pro-murder version of alice and edward but their personal mental issues won't allow them to act like best friends forever and stuff

oh I LOVE talking about rosalie (and jasper) and i'm delighted to see a follow up question about this, thank you anon 🤩

when did rosalie start to like jasper? my guess is in the range of 'anywhere between several months to years', which seems like a pretty wide span of time, but i'm sure the trajectory of rosalie's opinion/feelings on jasper went like: anger at him (and alice) being there, followed by toned-down frustration and annoyance, then a period of her just tolerating his presence that eventually morphed into acceptance, that led to a general feeling of comfort once he became part of the routine, and at one point that feeling of protectiveness she feels over her family probably extended toward him. rose and jasper strike me more as "actions over words" type of people tbh. I like to think that one of them stood up for the other at some point and that sense of loyalty was probably a kick off point for friendship between the two of them

but to analyze rosalie & jasper's relationship you kind of have to look at all of the cullen familial relationships; more specifically, the 'sibling' dynamics

edit: I did not mean for this to turn into a meta-length dissection of their characters, but whoops here we go:

canonically, rosalie is stubborn, intelligent, protective, loyal, vindictive, and fucking hates change. she craves normalcy—specifically the type that lets her pretend like she's not a vampire—and is more affected by, and therefore reacts stronger to, things she dislikes rather than the things that she likes, which is important to note. because that makes her a lot like edward—more like edward than any of her other 'siblings'.

rosalie and edward are alike in ways that cause them to bump heads more often than not—their worldviews are pretty similar, they both have a pretty significant measure of self-loathing/an issue with self-esteem (yes, even though rosalie knows she's hot, she's pretty unhappy with who she is) and they despise anything that messes with the status quo—but they think that they both have very different personalities, which I would categorize as their outward expressions of themselves. (they don't, but stick with me here)

there's a funny line in midnight sun where edward talks about how rosalie's "morbid" sense of humor is more in line with his than anyone else's in the family and, ignoring the fact that we all know edward doesn't have a sense of humor I think that it's because of the fact that they 1) both view the world similarly and 2) as rather 'bitchy' characters, their methods of expression fall in line with each others. in new moon we get to listen to edward cheerfully smash a television in a fit or rage, and in midnight sun edward braces himself for rosalie to fuck up his car because she's mad at him. TheyreTheSamePicture.jpg your honor

if you compare one attention-hog to another, they're going to both get pissy about it. rosalie can't stand edward's know-it-all tendencies and finds him pretty insufferable, and edward thinks she's selfish and shallow. they both view themselves as smarter, more reasonable, and 'better' than the other. ain't nothing is ever going to fix this.

"rosalie and edward are like oil and water" no, rosalie and edward are two types of vinegar that hate being combined in the same carafe because then you can't tell the difference between them and they both individually hate 1) not being the center of attention, 2) being compared to the other one, and 3) themselves 🤐 tbh, I don't think it's a coincidence that the two characters with the lowest self-esteem lowkey hate the character that is most like themselves...but let's move on from that tea ☕️👀

let's shift gears to jasper. jasper is reserved, sensible, intense, and appears to be quite mindful on the effect his presence has on others; probably because he knows what he looks like and he has the added benefit that he can feel how other's react in response to that. this is going to give him a pretty high degree of emotional intelligence and an automatic leg up in any social situation, which is why book jasper is so superior that movie jasper in my opinion 🤷🏼‍♀️ and why I can't read a lot of jasper/jalice fanfiction since people love to characterize him as hot tempered and 'edward-eque'

when you read the books jasper is just so? FUNNY? in midnight sun he's inventing stupid games with emmett. his friends come to visit and they spend their time playing vampire football (SHOW US THE VAMPIRE FOOTBALL SCENE STEPH YOU COWARD). in pre-epilogue twilight outtakes, he's holding hairdriers for alice while she queer-eyes bella.

in twilight/midnight sun he's standing on the steps and abiding by edward's "keep your distance" request when carlisle, esme, and alice welcome bella into their house; he's mellowing out the atmosphere so that these introductions go smoothly and so that bella is full-on VIBING, all while grinning at edward over everyone's head while the little scene progresses perfectly, who thinks "he was laying it on a little thick 🙄" (he even LAUGHS at edward when bella says something to the effect of "what CAN'T edward do?!")

but in bella's pov (and edward's) jasper is portrayed as this miserably suffering little guy who only gives a shit about alice (hot) and is often characterized as 'weak' (ironic). but when you look at the way jasper actually acts, outside of the 'attending high school' bullshit, he seems to be having a pretty good goddamn time.

i'm not the first person in the fandom that thinks that rosalie deserves someone to fight more in her corner, since canon shows us that smeyer is unwilling to let that happen (even emmett isn't allowed to defend her in canon!) the only time we ever see anyone agree with her on a serious issue (minus the renesmee debacle, that we won't acknowledge here) is in midnight sun when she and jasper are the only ones who acknowledge the danger bella poses to them. and I think it would be silly to overlook that!!!!

jasper and rosalie share the same levelheaded ferocity that you would sort of expect from someone who knows that, as vampires, a little murder here and there is necessary to keep you and your loved ones safe. so we get this really interesting framing of their characters via edward & bella and ultimately, via smeyer, where we're supposed to see them as 'less-than' because of this ruthlessness they possess. even stephenie, in interviews, has acknowledged that she doesn't understand why people love jasper and rosalie so much, which is so funny to me since?? they're two of the most interesting cullens?? like steph, you made both of their fucked up backstories central focus in book three? they're two characters ready to kill for the ones they love at a moment's notice, and you think us girls and gays aren't going to LATCH onto that?? you're surprised by that? kdgfhjksdg??? don't admit that out loud girl, that's embarrassinggggg 💀

also it's important to talk about how rosalie is the survivor of a violently traumatic sexual assault that was the catalyst to her loss of humanity and gaining immortality. she joins the family in 1933, is miserable and angry and resentful, but things get a little "better" in 1935 after she finds emmett and he joins the family. then, 15 years pass.

so, imagine this: it's been almost 18 years that you've been immortal. you've been a vampire almost as long as you were a human, and you've had a hard time, but at least you have a little family who loves and cares for you, and you might not be happy but you're content. your life is stressful, but you're safe...when suddenly two strangers show up at the door. you're at home with your surrogate 'parents'—the world's biggest vampire pacifist and his wife, a woman who, like you, was also a victim of intimate partner violence—and now some girl and this fucking ragged-looking dog of a man are standing on your doorstep acting like they're about to move in????

sure, alice can win rosalie over with compliments, make-overs, carefully plotted and expertly tailored conversation, but what's jasper going to do??? in what world would he go out of his way to win someone, who doesn't even like him, over? using his gift is out of the question—rosalie would probably maim him—and the only way he's putting someone else's comfort and well-being above his own is if they're a <5 foot control freak whomst he's obsessed in love with

as far as rosalie is concerned, the facts are this: jasper is from the vampire 'south'. jasper has been through some shit. jasper has, therefore, done some shit (you don't survive in the southern wars for 80 years without committing atrocities). therefore, jasper isn't just scary-looking physically, but he's dangerous and he has a shitty control on his bloodlust. for rosalie, that would be a fucking recipe for disaster. honestly, I can see rosalie getting along better with edward during this period because of jasper. i'm sure jasper was on the receiving end of some nastiness for a good while there, but unlike edward, I can guarantee you he just kind of...let her do it. not in a way where he's like "alas...'tis what I deserve 😞" because again: jasper has that degree of emotional intelligence that a lot of the cullens canonically lack. he knows it's not really about him. he probably lets a lot of it slide off his back; sure, it would be nice if rosalie didn't hate his guts, but hey! it's better than war!

rosalie likely had to warm up to jasper over time, little by little. I can see her easing up after she adjusts to his physical presence, after she realizes that no, he's not as violent as his appearance implies, and after emmett starts getting chummy with him. I think once rosalie realizes she's the only person left who doesn't like or trust jasper, it would have her feeling frustrated or annoyed, and I think this would be when World's Sexiest Number One Schemer, alice cullen, pounces and finally starts creating situations that get them to interact more!!

after all, alice knows what it's like to have to wait a while to approach someone so they don't literally tear your head off 😈

I think alice was probably the architect to whatever helped jasper and rosalie bridge that gap, maybe with an assist from emmett or even edward! it isn't much of a stretch to jump from tolerating/being 'okay with' someone's presence to finding comfort with it or even enjoying it, and again: rosalie is someone who reacts stronger to shit she hates than the stuff she loves (the girl loves to be a hater, and who can blame her tbh?) so you'll probably hear more about her opinion on you if that opinion is negative 💀 (which is absolutely why she's such an antagonist in the series while she watches this edward/bella ridiculousness)

as for jasper being her "favorite brother"? well, it's a pretty low bar. jasper is competing with edward for that title. he wins by default 💀

anyways I don't have a great conclusion to all this rambling, but rosalie probably started viewing jasper as her brother LONG before she ever vocalized anything of the sort. i'm sure there was some sort of conversation or event where rosalie stood up for jasper or just said something complimentary to/about him that probably solidified their camaraderie more than one-on-one bonding or hangouts ever would. maybe her being willing to share her surname with him was that moment!! that action in and of itself is so telling man!!! I love the implications!! idk man their friendship (that we never really see in canon even if it's implied) means so MUCH to meeeeeeeeee. i love the Murder Twins ♡

[meowzfordayz]

when the war is over; will our ghosts dance together, or will we ourselves dance hand in hand

Tomioka Giyuu x Reader

Word Count: ~700

CW: canonical violence, death content, depression, implied self harm, PTSD, traumatic references

Emergency Request Fulfilled: I am, I’m just feeling tired my work is so draining emotionally, mentally, physically and I know I’m burnt out because I’m just apathetic. (...) I want someone to take care of me; like I took care of the people I used to know. I feel like I’m spent and I have nothing left to give. It’s so hard for me to make friends again because I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know how to carry on a conversation anymore, if it’s because I’m scared or what or if I’m tired and I know things are going to end soon. (...) I want to let out the frustrations on me instead of someone else… I’d rather be hurt instead.

I hope this makes sense..? I am feeling like this again and I’m just tired ya know. You can pair it with any character you like, it’s all free reign for you. A comfort angst I suppose.

He knows how you feel

Recognizes the glimmer of defeat

In your soft gaze, so intent on pressing into his chest

Defeat has an odd shine to it

A sense of finality, of strength, at the end of a

Sea of doubt, longing, emptiness accepted in place of

Warmth

Sometimes, he wishes he could ask you

“How are you feeling?”

Oftentimes, he’s afraid your reply will be

“Fine. And you?”

How is he supposed to answer such deflected pain?

How can he reveal his own lonesome while trying to fill yours?

Perhaps this is why they say

You must love yourself before loving

Others

You must look out for yourself before looking out to

The One

Recovery is a fickle creature

As numbing as it is freeing

As quiet as it is difficult to ignore

Screaming in one’s head day in, day out

Etched into one’s skin, the drag of a blade

The shiver of a downpour

Puddles of blood seeping into moistened ground

Why does rain so frequently shed itself on the battlefield?

But he can tell

The lingering taste of war, of death

Is not your sole accompaniment

You are similar, but not the same

Walking a pace a step faster than his, sunken in a different weight of anxiety

Of dread

As he is

He wants, craves, a connection with you

Fixing, helping, someone else

But how?

And what?

And why?

He’s never thought of himself as a savior

A victim, more like it

And is it truly so grand, so honorable, of him

To desire a caress with heroism for the sake of healing

Of selfishness

And not necessarily out of curiosity, compassion, for your haunted tremors

He still remembers the one time you came to him

Well, really, he was the only soul around

“Tomioka-san. How do you tolerate it?”

And he had frowned, unable to meet your shaken stare, blue eyes glazed from an evening of ash and maroon, sunrise an unwilling accomplice in fulfilling his duties

“I don’t,” he’d deadpanned, turning from your telltale scars, so similar

So different

From his

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

He wonders, too

Of course he does

Wonders what he would do if he ever caught you

Caught you in your act of hatred and denial

Physical rendition of the song that’s been on repeat in his head

Wonders if the lyrics are identical

Underlining his every thought, just as they overline your wrists

He likes to imagine he would comfort you

Would be able to tug you into his arm, cool and solid, unfaltering and steady

But he thinks, in fact, that he’d be angry

Upset

Disappointed

Arm crossed, tight, unwelcoming, as his demons fraternize with yours

Lips pursed in desperation

Come here, I promise I won’t hurt you

Stuck beneath loathing

“Do you miss them?” you murmur, village sprawling out below the damp, thatched roof

Stars twinkling, teasing, dancing among the slivers of cloud above

“I do,” Giyuu confesses, inhibitions low, fingers cold with grief, “I’m grateful for this new world, but I fear my existence ceased along with the old one.”

“Tomioka-san,” you smile faintly, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“We barely know each other,” he mutters

“And are we to blame?” you chuckle, the sound brittle and forced, “It’s always been safer for us.”

To not get attached

“I wish I knew how to live.”

Me too you almost admit, head drooping with fatigue, elbows propped on your knees, legs hugged to your sternum

“I wish I knew how to live for myself,” he clarifies Everyone that mattered is gone

Sleep claims your response, limbs gradually relaxing, the rough fabric of his haori tucked around your shoulders before he leaves

“How about this…”

You glance at him, hesitant

Hopeful

“I’ll care for you. You’ll care for me.”

“You don’t already?” you tease gently, giggling when his eyes widen with alarm

“I-”

“I’m teasing, Tomioka-san,” you quickly assure him, “I appreciate your company.”

“I would like to walk beside you.”

He is shy

Sweet

A realization that

This is what could have been

“Okay,” you nod slowly, “But my pace isn’t consistent.”

“That’s alright,” he shrugs, “As long as we keep walking.”

[sizzal]

You don’t get it! A Bakugou X reader 

A Bakugou X reader 

Angist, and sad topic

(Not my art) Hope you enjoy it!!!! 😆 🌺🪷🌻 The reader has had it with this group of people in 1A. They feel alone and they are outcasted for being different. Bakugou stood up for the reader and reintroduced them into a happy world!  Shitty summary but it’s good I think…?  Enjoy my little angels!!!!

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You were always an outcast. Even in America your homeland.  You thought that being here would be a fresh start but as always you were wrong! Life was always this long drag. You could never find your people It was always just moving from place to place. You went hostile but let’s be real you so were. This causes even more people to hate you. So when you got accepted into UA life felt surreal. You thought that everyone else would feel the same way. This bitter ugly feeling. This self-loathing and this universal drag. But as always you were wrong. You tried to fit in, especially with your classmates but none of them understood you. You were always just the weird kid. You got fiesty over the years and everyone could tell. You started fights and got suspended and shit.

“Try being positive for once y/n” Ochako would often say.

“Be more like Mina. You are such a Debbie downer”!  Izuku would say. You lowkey didn’t want to be so fucked up. But this was how you were. They didn’t hate you but they tolerated you let’s just say.  It felt like there was not even one person in all of Japan who gave a shit! Well except for a particular hot-headed blonde! 

One evening you decided to go to the rooftop to do a little sightseeing. Who knows maybe you may even bust out the weed for this decretive occasion! You liked being alone because you were the only true one who cared about yourself. If no one else would care then you would. You started to love yourself more and more. You had started as a joke in freshmen year and it went on for two years. It made you feel a lot more whole. If the other kids would start excluding you then you would take yourself out on dates and to the movies! You over everyone else. So when Bakugou saw that you were pulling back more he started to blame himself. He had realized he liked you because of how similar you two were. He was not ever going to say it because he thought dating was stupid and for losers but that all changed when he saw how much you cared for yourself. The way you papered yourself, partly because you didn’t have anyone else to pamper. He wanted to reach out and tell you that you were more than just another sidekick or outcast. He understood what it ment to be pushed out except everyone thought there was hope for him and gave up on you. He thought this was dumb and unheroic. He was trying to be more compassionate. So when he saw you slipping away from a party you were never formally invited to he naturally followed. He saw where you were going and wanted to join. 

It was a clear night with the most beautiful view of the city. He saw you sit on the edge and busting out the tin of weed. You had a pre-roll already made and all was left to do was light it. 

You took the freshly rolled joint out. You brought it up to your mouth and set it in between your lips. You took out your lighter and clicked it so it would light. You light your joint and inhale letting all your nerves fade. You heard the door open and flipped around quickly getting ready to throw your joint off the roof. You saw a familiar blonde walking toward you.

“Yeah I know I am not supposed to be up here and blah blah blah”. You said as you got up to walk away.

“No, I wanted to ask if I could join your idiot ass,”  He said pushing lightly on your shoulders to sit you back down. He found a spot right next to you.

“For real? I thought you were going to get on me for smoking and being up here on some shit…, you know” You said as you pulled another big puff out of your joint.

“Are you already high? I mean from you know cuz you always say fuck all to the rules and that’s why we are up here” He asked while pointing at the joint.

“No, not yet… it hasn’t kicked in yet. Well only a little”. You said while handing him the small joint. To your surprise, he picked it up and said:

“So how do you….? I am not much of a smoker, never liked it. Always thought people who smoke are just a bunch of idiots who like wasting money and time” he said while looking into the starry abyss above

“Um, you kinda just inhale it as if it were a normal breath…..Or like you are sucking a straw”. You said while taking it back and showing him. You hit a ghost inhale trick to piss with him. You handed it back and he inhaled. He coughed really badly.  Then hit it again and was fine.

“Damn, you’re a natural…..pass ‘em”? You said as he passed the joint back.

“No. Just had a good teacher…. Why are you always on your own? You know like leaving the group just to be off on your own. It dangerous and idiotic”? He said while taking another inhale and passing it back.

“I don’t know. Maybe because everyone is so boring and a“goody-two-shoes” They don’t understand. It’s like they don’t even live in the real world” You said while looking into the night that captured around you. 

“yea right… you just don’t like us” He said while looking up into the night not caring to face you.

“Are you kidding? No fuck that what are you even doing up here. Here to smoke all my weed and tell me I am wrong...you don’t understand what it’s like to be hated FUCK this”! You said while stating to pack your shit.

“Hey WHAT THE HELL, YOU DUMBASS,” He said while pulling you back onto the ledge. 

“I never ment to offend and I do know what it’s like,” he said while still holding on to you despite your robust efforts to get out of his grip. You thrashed and kicked but nothing… 

“FUCK OFF” you screeched. You were ready to throw hands.

“STFU,” he said as he held you down. 

“NO! You DON’T GET IT. YOU’RE JUST MR MEAN BUT THEY ALL STILL LOVE YOU BUT… but with me, it’s different I am just the mean idiot from America” You said trying to hold in your tears. But they started to pour! You could not hold it in together. The past few days were hard since it was the passing date of your sister who was killed by All Might. It was an accident but he didn’t even care to get her out of the way….she was four. You went into a spiraled mental health and shut the door on everyone. You blamed yourself

“Yes, I do get it I am not the good guy. They just put up with me it not like a real friendship I mean yea I have shitty hair but he is all muscle no brains” He said while continuing to ramble on about useless shit while your tears got worse. 

“NO YOU DON’T!!!!!” 

“For the last time dumbass, I do…” He said as he realized just then that you had stopped moving and just submitted to the tears. He had never seen you cry. He didn’t even realize he had made you cry. 

“Why… WHY did you have to bring yourself into this”. You said while sitting up after he finally let you go. He looked at you with such a fearful look that it confused you. 

“I am sorry or whatever..”. He said as he looked away from you realizing what he had done and who he did it to.

“You could never possibly get it….. my sister was killed by All Might. She was in the way of his fighting area. We had gotten separated and….. an-d she was crushed under his weight when he fell on her. My parents found out shortly after that. My dad drank himself to death after the divorce. My mom killed herself leaving a note saying how much she wished it was me. That’s why I am even out here in the first place. Because I had to move in with my grandma, so NO you Could not passably get it” you said while sobbing and quivering. 

He pulled you into a huge hug while he let that newfound knowledge set! It was hard to think because the weed kicked in but he knew he made a mistake. A big one at that! He pushed you away slightly so he could see your face. He saw how sad he made you feel. He put his hand on your cheek and wiped away the tears that had fallen from your eyes.  You looked away and he put his hand on your chin and tilted your face back to him.  Making you all the more sad that you had been so rude and that maybe he cared…!

“Look, I am sorry. I didn’t know”. He said as you went back into his arms. Needing his embrace. 

“It’s not your fault, I should not have taken this all out of proportion. You had not i-idea” You said still sobbing. You sat like that…in each other’s arms for a while until he asked you:

“Hey, what do you want me to do with this”? He said. You looked up and saw him still holding the joint. It had gone out and neede to be relighted. You had stopped crying almost all the way now. 

“HAhA, give it here”. You said as you relit it and puffed but when you tried to pass he just shook his head. 

“So who are you going to take to prom”? You asked trying to think of anything to talk about.

“Nobody, I am not going. Why do you care”?

“I care because nobody asked me. Ever… and I wanted to know who was going to take out the great Bakugou”! you said laughing! 

“I care,” he said softly. You looked at him pulling away slightly at his words. You wanted to see his face. He was so genuine that it made you bawl, not from unhappiness but from joy and this sweet feeling in your heart.

“No did I say something again…. I am sorry” he said and you giggled at his apology. You looked at him and though you stopped tears asked.

“How long have you had feelings for me” You were not sure if he did or not but you made the leap.

“A long time…. I realized once you started to pull from the group that you were all I wanted. I guess it sounds stupid and shit…” You cut him off by pulling his face toward yours and giving him a kiss. It was the first time Bakugou had had a kiss that was actually worth getting caught up in all the dating drama. You were the one for him. You both had this spunk and he was being driven mad. You stayed at each other’s pace careful not to cross any boundaries. one hand was playing with his hair. You like the softness of his hair. Your other hand was placed gently on his face. His taste and experience was amazing. When his worn-out lips found yours again, you hummed softly and felt them conjuring into a smile as he intensified the kiss. Your hands tightened their hold on the side of his face as his tongue pressed past your parted lips to dig deeper as he brushed against your teeth, trapping your groans in his mouth.

When you parted from his lips a string of saliva was still connecting the both of you. It failed and slipped down his chin. You brought your hand up to his chin, whipped off the string, and chuckled. 

“Should we go? It’s 2:30…“. you said. 

“Yeah, it’s probably for the best,” he said as you both stood up.

“You know I can re-introduce you into the group tomorrow if you don’t hate us yet,” he said 

“You know I lowkey fuck with that,” you said as you opened the door and headed down the stairs to your dorms before giving him a smooch and parting ways.

The rest of the year was a blast. You finally found your people it took some getting used to but you fit right in after awhile. You just had to open up.

Hey guys! This was kinda a mess but let me know what you think! Luv you bye!!!!❤️

[lacrimosathedark]

I want Lian Harper to interact with and get close to Jason Todd for a lot of reasons. Their mutual childhoods as Gotham street urchins and growing up around superheroes (though they did that in like opposite order), they both died tragically at the hands of a villain, their deaths destroyed their parents, they were resurrected by unknown means with their memories fucked up, kept away from their family for years with only a dangerous mother figure knowing where they are, and are actually kindhearted despite everything.

But also, I want her to meet Cassandra Cain.

Like, think about what Lian could learn from Cass! They both have complicated relationships with their mothers who are renowned for their strength, mothers who adore their daughters and want to be part of their lives despite everything (who also contain multitudes of self-loathing yaaaaay). Mothers who also just happen to be also Asian, making them half-Asian and half-white. Not the same, Jade is Vietnamese and Sandra is Chinese, but still.

Lian hasn't had a lot of struggle accepting her mother despite her mother being what she is. Cass, however, has such a visceral disdain for killing that she rejects her mother. She doesn't really hate her, and has respect for her as a fighter, but wants nothing to do with her. And that conflict has, at at least one point, pushed Shiva to try to be better.

I think Cass could get Lian to truly face what Cheshire is, since no one else, Roy especially, seems willing to actually talk to her about that. And because she's in a similar position, she might be able to do it more effectively because Lian won't have to feel alone in it. Hell, Steph could join in too! Though her dad is...Not The Same (his crimes are much lesser but he also has never cared about Stephanie).

And maybe, if Lian realizes Shiva is trying to change, it might give her hope that rejecting her mom could get her to improve too. That maybe one day there'll be no reason to feel guilt for wanting to be with her mom. And we could have a somewhat functional divorced family dynamic rather than...yknow, This. That maybe one day she can actually be with her mom.

I also just love the idea that Lian could get along with Cass. There was this one point where a bunch of orphans were living at Titans Tower, and Lian was going through a phase of being very selfish and wanting her space and loved ones to herself, but the only other kid she could even somewhat tolerate was the kid that was seemingly selectively mute (they thought she was autistic but she was actually possessed sort of? it's a whole thing). So I feel like a more mature and selfless Lian would get along really well with someone like Cass, who relies on actions more than words.

And I actually just have this idea of the two of them dancing together. I love the idea of Cass forcing her brothers to dance with her, but imagine Cass dancing with Lian! Cass teaching Lian ballet! idk it's just adorable to me.

Yeah, "Auntie Cass" should be a thing I think.