#severus snape quotes

[luzmiere]

“after all this time?”

“always,” said Snape.

J.K. Rowling, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows".

[ebysse]

the headmasters impart wisdom

[severussnapemylove]

(Looking at a list of Order members names)

Y/N; “Wait, for real? (looks at Sirius) Sirius Orion Black? Your initials are S.O.B? So you’re a son of a bitch by name and by nature.”

Severus; (chokes on his drink)

[snapeingturtle]

McGonagall: the students might put in more effort if you tried to be a bit more likeable

Snape: I didn't like any of my teachers and I did fine

McGonagall:

Sprout:

Flitwick:

Snape: what

[wybiebat]

i cannot BELIEVE i haven't posted this here. anyways heres a doodle i made a while ago, based off this

[sayssnape]

mcgonagall: harry is missing, can you find him?

snape: what, do you think i have him microchipped or something?

mcgonagall: well, do you?

snape:

snape: yeah, hang on.

[overlord-of-fantasy]

This is canon

Severus Snape: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

[394halfbloodprince]

Severus: [taps quill]

Lily: [taps quill back]

James: stop that!

Lily: stop what?

James: you’re talking about me in Morse code.

Severus: yes, that’s exactly what we’re doing. In our very limited free time, Me and Lily took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.

[later]

Severus to regulus: that’s exactly what we did.

[alwaysthehbp]

Snape: I think you should play the role of my father.

Albus: I don’t want to be your father.

Snape: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

[worldofwolfstar]

Sirius: Time for plan F

Remus: Don’t you mean plan B?

Sirius: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Lily: What about plan D?

Sirius: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago

Remus: And what about plan E?

James: We’re hoping not to use it. I die in plan E.

Severus: I like plan E

[crackishincorrecthp]

Harry, to Snape, 5th year, after a failed Occlumency class: Oh yeah, sure, let's blame the teenager that nobody tells nothing for everything! I'm sure it makes total sense! Oh and I'm suppose to let adults handle everything while I just sit and twirl my thumbs, right?! Well, news flash, I'm the one Voldemort is after! I can't let the adults handle that when I have a psycho after me since I was fucking born! So forgive me if I have a hard time "erasing my thoughts" or whatever bullshit! Snape: Snape: Lily, if you're possessing your son, please go and scream at Dumbledore next Harry: Harry: You know what? I might just do that!

[depressed-sugar-baby]

Lily: *clicks pen*

Severus: *clicks pen in response*

James: Stop that.

Lily: Stop what?

James: You’re talking about me in Morse code!

Lily: Yes, that’s what we doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out!

*later*

Severus, to Remus: That’s actually exactly what we were doing.

[severussnapemylove]

Y/N; “I make out with Severus? He's fine. I kiss him on the nose? He's a mess."

Y/N; “I grab his ass? Doesn't care. But if I hold his hand and kiss his knuckles? He's inconsolable.”

Y/N; "Why does simple affection break him?"

[blackbirdi]

Harry Potter Incorrect Quotes #2

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry: So how’d you guys manage to crash the car last night?

Hermione: Ron wasn’t paying attention to the road, and there was a deer. So I shouted, “RON, DEER!”

Ron:

Hermione: Go on. Tell him what you said.

Ron: … “Yes, honey?”

*Cue Harry dying*

———————————

George: *Whispering so they don’t get caught out of bed by Filch* What time is it?

Fred: *Screams loudly*

Snape: WHO THE FUCK IS SCREAMING AT TWO IN THE MORNING!?

Fred: There you go.

———————————

Hermione: *Showing Mr. Weasley how to use muggle technology* There you go. Your laptop is all set up.

Mr. Weasley: Will it get heavier if I put more files in it?

Hermione: What?

Mr. Weasley: Like, if I download files will it weigh more?

Hermione:

———————————

*The girls decorating the Christmas tree*

Hermione: Does anyone know where the angel is?

Ginny: *Pointing at Luna* Found it!

———————————

Mrs. Weasley: When I said bring me something back from Hogwarts I meant something you bought at Hogsmeade.

The Twins: *Struggling to contain a Bludger* Well you didn’t specify that!

———————————

Neville Longbottom: So how’d you know Harry was the one?

Ginny: *Dreamily* He looked at me the way every woman wants to be looked at…

Neville: Awww.

Ginny: With fear in his eyes.

Neville:

Hermione: Awwwww.

———————————

Ron: Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Cause you’re a whole snack.

Hermione: Are you silence? Because you make me speechless.

Ginny: Who do you think is going to make this dirty first?

Harry: Turn this dirty? Neither of them, Gin, they’re too cute for one another.

Ron: Are you my pinky toe? Cause I’m gonna bang you against every piece of furniture I own.

Hermione:

Harry:

Ginny:

Harry: I take back my previous statement.

———————————

*After watching Frosty the Snowman*

Ron: What did Frosty the Snowman do other than come to life, do a little dance, and die?

Harry: Isn’t that what we all do, really?

———————————

Ron: You played me like a fiddle!

Fred: Oh no, Ronniekins. Fiddles are actually very difficult to play.

George: We played you like the cheap kazoo you are.

———————————

Ron: *Walking into the living room to complain* Mum! There’s no more snacks in the kitchen!

Ginny: *From the kitchen* But I’m literally right here!

Ron: *Frustrated groan*

———————————

The Twins: We can assure you, our place of business is extremely safe.

Ron: *Looking up at the ceiling* The smoke detector is a white bowl with a red M&M taped to it…

[strangesthirdeye]

Severus: What would you like to do today, love?

Y/n: Let's go to the woods, sacrifice someone, and dance around a fire naked in the moonlight. I am a witch you know.

Severus: you're fucking creepy, Y/n.. i love you

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Snape: The kids get worse and worse every year, but people keep making them.