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#sigh. im just tired i wanna experience things again ;;
the-kipsabian · 8 months
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i just think seeing kip would fix me
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you know??
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snghnlvr · 2 months
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delicate | nishimura riki
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౨ৎ ## love so delicate like yours, synopsis: you've realized how far you've gotten with your boyfriend now that both of you are adults.
includes: 1.9k words | soft fluff | yn is anxious asf but riki comforts them | we love reassurance | movie notebook reference 😎 | yn got a tattoo and it makes riki fall in love with them more 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️ | coming of age¿?
extra: at this point, all of the members are taylor swift coded | soft love is the best love | yn is me because im also 18 and i dont wanna pay taxes D:
likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! <3
[below the cut]
you sighed as you laid yourself flat against the blankets. you smiled in delight as if your troubles and worries left you. 
“school’s over.” you said, feeling your chest heavy. you recalled the school memories that you’ve experienced; both happy and sad, now that you’re taking the next chapter of your life; college. 
it’s leaving a bittersweet feeling on your whole body. 
“it is.” you looked over your shoulder, to see your boyfriend, riki fiddling with his yearbook. his fingers spotted towards the back of the book, heartfelt messages and inspiring words that his friends wrote for him. 
you’re in riki’s backyard, inside of a treehouse both of you built since children with the help of your parents. you’re so lucky your dad is a constructor. 
riki is sitting, one leg sticking out and one knee bent as he leans into the wooden walls. this position allows you to admire him from below as the sunlight flashes on his beautiful features. 
he’s reading every single message with sincerity and care, from his senior friends that he will probably never see again and his younger juniors that he can’t annoy anymore as he pleases. despite hating waking up early every morning and him dealing with tiring lectures, he has to admit he made memories and friends that’s worth a life time.
“i can’t believe we’re gonna be college students now. where we have to pay off debts, start our career paths, those people who are gonna be closer to 20 than 16 - it’s just,” you took in a breath. “surreal. surreal that we are growing up.”
you had always had a fear of growing up. not wanting to achieve the things and goals you’ve planned on time. you felt like you’re rushing to do everything at once before it becomes too late. you always wanna stay 16 forever; forever naive to understand the real world. how you’re closest friends will separate from you. how everything you’re experiencing right now will be just a memory. 
riki glanced down on you where you’re staring off of space. he can sense the anxiety in your tone. 
he closes the book after he was staring at a picture. a picture titled, “best couple” and it’s a picture of the both of you standing next to each other, smiling widely. he smiled at how adorable you looked next to him.
he scooted closer to you, making himself comfortable once he lays down next to you. his back lays flat, mimicking your position. 
“are you scared?” riki likes to question the obvious, but it helps you reflect on your feelings; how fear is just a feeling and to understand your emotions a bit better.
“just a little anxious just all,” you confessed, looking at riki whose eyes never left yours. “i’m sure it will disappear soon. i mean, everyone experiences this.” you reassure yourself and riki sense it, enjoying your honesty.
“mhm,” riki mumbles. “it’s okay to feel anxious, the future is scary.” he looks down. “it’s only a matter of time how you’re gonna handle it. you create your own future.” 
his words ring in your head. he’s right.
riki took your silence as a way that you agree with him. 
he then glanced down towards your arm, a black-inked drawing that attracted him. riki scooted closer, his body turned to yours. he propped himself up with his elbow.
no matter how close the proximity is between the both of you, it still makes you nervous til this day. especially with how much older and mature-looking your boyfriend of 6 years is. 
“your parents aren’t mad about this?” riki gently poked on your arm, eyes analyzing the art in your arm. it’s only been a week since you decided to get your first tattoo.
it’s beautiful, he thinks. 
“not anymore, i’m 18 now.” you huffed out. you remembered the horror on your parents’ faces but a sigh of defeat when they realized you’re now responsible of yourself. it makes you chuckle about their panicked expressions, slowly making themselves aware that you’re not gonna be their little 4 year old reckless daughter anymore. 
“i can imagine your mom shrieking.” riki giggled which made you scoffed because he wasn’t wrong. 
“your birth flower?” riki asked, his fingertips gently tracing the traces of your birth flower. 
your eyes widened a bit at his sudden touch then you looked down at how focused riki was. his eyes were staring at it as if your tattoo was a museum. 
your heart beat quickened at the sight. 
“the flower that i drew for you in your math notebook in 6th grade.” riki smiled, realizing how much time flies since you guys called it official since middle school. you’ve remembered the nervousness riki’s hands were, fiddling the bouquet of origami flowers. flowers he made for each that day that he fell in love with you. you thought it was silly. riki has always been caring and kind to you so it was natural for you to reprociate the feelings back. and so, without any pressure or doubts, you guys called it official.
“i thought you threw your old notebooks away..” his voice still remains soft and delicate, still smiling at your tattoo. he started to reminisce the times he would doodle on your notebook without you noticing. like a surprise.
“i ripped the page and kept it since.” when you were going into your freshman self, you looked back into the notebooks to reminsince your middle school memories. you’ve came across a drawing — no other than riki’s in one of your notebooks. you ripped it out and hid it in a safe spot until you get a tattoo of it ever since.  
some people thought you guys weren’t gonna make it past middle school — even you too, but since both of you got in the same highschool, it remained strong. a strong string holding your relationship tight.
yes, with hormones acting up and puberty getting in the way, there were times where you guys had fought and argued together to the point it was nearing breaking apart but both of you shouldn’t let it slide. not when it has reached this far. and how much you love each other.
although your boyfriend has grown up, there are occasionally times where he teases you and becomes childish around you, it makes you soft-hearted at how he still has a soul of his 12-year old self. especially moments where he look similar to a duck, which made you think about how much duck plushies you have on your bed because it reminds you of riki. 
you’re happy that you’re growing up with him.
“what are you thinking about pretty girl?” 
you gasped lightly, realizing that you’re spacing out. you looked at him and you see a small smirk implemented on his face, curious of what your pretty head is thinking about.
your face relaxes, trying to calm yourself. you’re nervous over nothing.
you looked down at your hands, then glance at riki’s hand comfortably resting, then back to your hands. your fingers slowly creep upon riki’s fingers, slowly rubbing them with yours. you smiled at the sight.
“it’s insane to think about how much we’ve grown.” you paused. “together.”
riki’s eyes looked at the sight, his heart beat echoing and growing louder. no matter what you do, you always make him think irrational. he then glances at you smiling when you’re playing with his fingers. “not many people believed in us lasting this long, not even me. i was worried if one of us lost feelings, found someone else better, or get something in our way, but im glad that we didn’t give up.” you looked at riki where his attention was diverted to you. he raised an eyebrow to indicate that he was listening.
“i’m happy that i’m dating you, i can’t express how much i adore you, how much you mean to me, i’ve never felt love this strong before — you’re just everything to me. i can’t imagine laughing harder than with anyone else, smile so much with anyone else. with you, it’s different. thank you for loving me.” 
you’re cringing on the inside at how much you confessed in such a short amount of time. you’re met with silence from your boyfriend who seem atonished from your words. you’re embarrassed, pulling back your fingers to cover your blushing cheeks in front of your boyfriend.
riki’s lips twitched, happy for you to express your feelings more comfortably now compared to the past situations. (one of the reasons that you’ve guys argued before) his chest felt light, his grin becoming bigger when you’re hiding from him.
you hear the blankets rustling, you felt riki’s arm slowly snake around your wrist to lightly remove your hand from your face. you removed your embarrassed hands and your eyes followed his hand clasping onto yours. the sight of his veiny hands makes you silent.
you admire the two of you holding hands. your stomach was feeling butterflies just as it was the first time riki confessed his feelings to you. riki twists your wrist, allowing you to see the sight from all angles. it looks so perfect. your hand perfectly structured to hold his. 
“you’re just as perfect as to what i am seeing right now.” riki spoke with a soft tone, chuckling when he kept twisting and turning your wrist. “you have a place in my heart no one else could ever have. my heart is so full of you i can hardly call it my own. i choose you. and i’ll choose you over and over. without a pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat, i’ll keep choosing you. as long as i’m alive, you will always be loved.”
you’re speechless at your boyfriend’s words to the point you feel like crying. riki still kept smiling at you, giggling. you saw the crescents formed in his eyes whenever he smiled at you and it never fails to make yourself love him more.
riki took this opportunity to lift himself up, hovering above you. he pecked your forehead. you felt his warm lips touching your skin and the goosebumps always forms whenever he makes you flustered.
you looked up at him, surprised. he looked down at you with his head tilted and a scrunched nose like a puppy, as if he was proud to do that.
nothing but an exchange of loud heart beats matching with one another and genuine giggles back and forth. 
riki then leaned in towards you. you closed your eyes at the expected action. his lips touching with yours. electricity flows when he rubs his fingers on your hands. it always make you feel all tingly on the inside. 
riki then pulls back, “cute.” he teases you, making your cheeks grow hotter. “shut up.” you rolled eyes, earning a little laugh from him.
riki still doesn’t let go of your intertwined hands as he returns to his original position where you’re laying flat on the ground, shoulder to shoulder. 
“so your summer plans?” riki asked casually. he lifted his head as his arm was under his head to act as support.
you then touched your bangs, realizing that you still have that caramel-like highlights since march. you were starting to get bored of it.
you pursed your lips. “maybe dye my hair next week back to black.” 
riki’s eyes shined. “match with me.” he spoke without thinking. you turned your head to him, realizing that his hair is black now. 
your boyfriend likes it alot when both of you match. 
“if you bleach it next month to some color then what?” you pointed out because sometimes your boyfriend makes impulsive decisions on his hair whenever he sees a cool hairstyles. you’re not angry whenever he does this because he’s good looking with whatever hair color he has.
“i won’t bleach it, i promise. i’ll follow you.” riki spoke and it makes you chuckle that he probably doesn’t realize the importance of his words. “red? blue? silver, i’ll do it for you.” you froze at his sudden deep voice erupting from him. your heart beat also freezes when his lips touches the location of your tattoo. you looked down and see his lips pushed forward. your heart flutters once again.
“you’re dumb.” you spoke, eyes softening at what you were hearing. 
gosh, you really love this man.
riki smiles against your skin, looking up and your heart twists at an umfamiliar sight. “i can be that.” he whispers like it was a promise.
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hxjikonn · 1 year
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HI HIIII CONGRATS ON YOUR 143 FOLLOWERS OR MILESTONE??? IDK WHICH ONE I SHOULD USE FOR THIS IM SORRY 😭
May i request a long fic comfort with Azul ashengrotto, with Reader who has been hiding their true feelings from everyone and even observant person can’t tell if they’re hiding it or not and tend to avoid certain question, because they’re used to be not hear out/has experience their problems spread around school(perhaps), pls?
IM SORRY IF THIS TOO MUCH BUT REALLY NO PRESSURE FOR YOU DOING THIS—I JUST WANT TO MAKE MYSELF CRY HARDER AND I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCH🥹💕
A/N: OMG ILYT DUDE UR ALWAYS SO INTERACTIVE WHENEVER I POST MY WORK I HOPE YOU CAN STILL CRY TO THIS EVEN THOUGH IT TOOK SO LONG🥹♥︎
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Put on a show!
☆Staring☆: Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader
Synopsis: When you chose to hide your emotions from everyone, Azul wondered why it had to include him…why can’t you let anyone in your head? How long do you think you can hold it together before you fall apart.
“Why do you shut me out? Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?” - Anna (Frozen)
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Artist: @/uri_hir on twtr
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To most people, you were an open book, you always spoke your mind, you always showed them how you felt, and let them know if you were okay…at least that’s how you play your little illusion. Little did they know that you had chapters hidden from within the pages they read, things that you swore you’d never let anyone know, in fear of allowing them to see your weaknesses that they can use against you.
It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t always this way, ever since then you bottled up everything, that particular day when…“Y/N!!!” Ace called out, snapping you out of your thoughts, “hm?” You hummed, once again silently putting on the mask you were used to showing everyone. “Wanna go to Monstro Lounge with me and Deuce? We thought it’d be nice to chill after that hellish spell drive training” He offered.
The training was hellish, and you were tired…no screw that, you were drained, you didn’t just keep up with them, you were also keeping up the facade you played, this other ‘you’ who everyone knows and loves. But of course, this version of ‘you’ is also a people pleaser, so reluctantly you said agreed to go. “Sure! I’ll come with” enthusiastically you stood up and grabbed your stuff.
Deuce smiled seeing you still so active “I wish I had Y/n’s personality…” No you don’t. Ace agreed and stood up to grab his stuff aswell “I know right, always so energetically postive” No I’m not. You just laughed at the two, halfheartedly but you didn’t let it show since you didn’t want them to think otherwise.
You carried Grim because the cat was asleep, and you three strolled on to Monstro Lounge together. The odds were somewhat on your favor, because it wasn’t that packed in the Lounge when you arrived, conveniently too, the last thing you want right now is a larger crowed to appease and entertain with your little act. You took a seat at a table as Ace and Deuce chattered along behind you, arguing about who knows what again.
You place Grim down and allowed yourself to ‘let lose’ a little since the other two were still at the bar side getting drinks, you let yourself have a break from smiley, happy, and bright, letting your exhaustion be visible, you sighed somehow calm because you were tucked away in a corner where no one really saw you.
“You look quite worn out prefect, are you not feeling well?” Suddenly a voice from behind you emerged, you looked up to see Jade, leaning from behind you seat, “Oh hi Jade! It’s nothing, the spell drive training was just extra rough today…” you reasoned with him, desperately trying to play your character again. Knowing how Jade is the more observant twin, you were nervous that he saw right through you.
He nodded, “Of course, can I get you anything?” He asked, you shook your head and pointed at Ace and Deuce coming to your table with drinks, “Ah I see, then I’ll let you relax now and enjoy your drinks, let me know if you need anything else” he smiled, striding away to other tables, you let out a silent breath of relief.
You thank the two for getting you your drink and sipped on it, still on edge about the happenings from earlier, you let your mask slip away one time and almost got caught, never again. You thought, breaking away from talking with the voices in your head, you joined in on the other two’s conversation, hoping to forget what just happened.
You three rambled on and on, hoping from one topic to another, you were hoping to finish soon since right now you just wanted to go home and really relax, you can feel the bottle you store your emotions in is already nearing it’s overflow, you needed to let it out, but not here, not now. Just. A. Little. Longer.
As you three stood up leave, Floyd suddenly grabbed both your shoulders, which surprised you, “Shimpyyy~~~ Hello~~~~” he greeted, you smiled, “Hi Floyd! We were just leaving” you said, hoping that you didn’t sound like you were rushing it. “No you’re not, Azul called for ya! You two go on ahead~ We’ll borrow Shimpy for awhile” he shooed off Ace and Deuce and they awkwardly waved you goodbye having no choice.
Great, you quietly took a deep breath, desperately trying to glue the pieces of your mask together as it was wearing off, “Lead the way!” You smiled at Floyd who gladly lead you Azul’s office. Every step you took, you felt it, the weigh on your chest getting heavier, the ringing in your ears getting louder, your eyes starting to sting with hot tears threatening to come out, but it cant, you cant, not here, not now. Just. A. Little. Longer.
Floyd opened the door for you “Shimpy me n’ Jade will take care of baby seal” he took Grim from your arms gently, and you mouthed a silent thank you as you stepped in the room. Azul had always been warry of you, you were always smiling, not the sly kind like Rook’s, or the carefree kind like Kalim’s. It always seemed hollow like we weren’t really there.
He was eager to find out, you had always been a peculiar human from the moment you came here, but what irked him more was why and how you didn’t seem to be bothered by anything, despite countless overblot encounters, the belittling you hear from the students here, you having no way back home…Nothing fazed you, even if you did show other emotions, it always seemed like you dialed it down.
Ever since his overblot, how you’ve helped him overcome it, and how you didn’t treat him any differently despite knowing what he had looked like as a child, He felt safe with you, and wanted you to feel the same way about him. He was curious, but why does it feel like you’ve told him everything about you, yet at same time nothing at all.
When he’d heard from Jade that you were here, he was exhilarated, he wanted to see you since he saw you and the other first years training earlier, and he noticed how tired you looked. So he took it upon himself to make his office nice and cozy, with snacks and drinks, even going as far as replacing the pillows with fluffier ones.
He hoped that maybe this time you’d allow him to break the chains you’ve wrapped around yourself. Maybe this time you’d…”Hi azul” he perked up to look at you, hearing your voice, “Oh Hi! I apologize I didn’t hear you come in…” he explained, he was distracted, but he couldn’t let you know why.
You laughed a little, sitting down on the chair infront of his desk, the relationship you had with him was complicated on your part, you knew everything about him, and grew close to him over time. You even started to think about opening up to him one time, but you stopped yourself, remembering what happened the last time you thought you could trust someone.
You didn’t avoid Azul since then, but made you did make sure to keep your distance, you felt that he was close to figuring you out. And out of all days it had to be now, now that you were close to falling apart, and out of all people it was Azul. You felt weak to your knees but still tried to hold it in. You needed to.
“So what was it that you called me here for?” You asked, you weren’t trying to seem like you wanted to make it quick, worried it’d make him suspicious. “Oh uhm…nothing in particular, Jade mentioned you didn’t look well…” he said, concern lingering in his voice. Oh no. “I’m fine, Just tired from training that’s all” you were desperately not trying to sound in denial but it was slipping out. Just. A. Little.Longer.
“Right…you had spell drive training earlier” he mumbled, you wouldn’t look his way, looking everywhere else but at him. “Is that the only reason?” He couldn’t help it, he wanted to be let in, “yeah…” you simply said, nodding, still flashing him that bright smile, only this time, your act was nearing it’s end, your mask is breaking.
“Y/n…” he called out, oh no. “I’ve noticed…” oh no. “Please, I want you to trust me.” He looked at you, empathy and worry in his eyes. You felt guilty for not trusting him enough to tell him, but it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t let yourself get hurt again. “I’m alright, really. Just really really worn out.” You defended, you avoided saying whether you trusted him or not.
“From practice or From something else?” He pried, you felt your hands shake, you clasped them together tightly, and wish he wouldn’t see. You couldn’t say anything, you couldn’t speak, it was as if there was someone over your shoulder reminding you that if you were to trust anyone again, you’d be broken beyond repair. “just tired..” you croaked out, praying to whatever deity is there that he’d let it go.
Azul had enough, he wasn’t stupid, he knew you’re holding yourself back. Sighing, he stood up and went towards you. You’re done for. That voice inside your head taunted you, as his figure loomed over your shaking one, suddenly the room felt like it was collapsing, like eyes were everywhere just waiting for you to break, you could hear them again, the whispers and mumbles from your past, your little illusion of a happier ‘you’ was shattering.
Show’s over.
Azul, was too busy trying to figure out what to do, how he could make you tell him what’s wrong. He didn’t notice you were crumbling beneath him, your heavy breaths stopped his train of thought, his attention’s now all on you. He panicked, he never meant to push you this far, he only wanted for you to feel safe around him. He crouched down, meeting your eyes.
For the first time, he saw raw emotions, but not the ones he wanted to see from you. You’re eyes wide with fear as hot tears drip and trickle down from them, you were covering your ears, you’re breathing heavily…you were scared. He felt his hand grow cold, the last thing he wanted to make you feel was scared.
He reached out, holding your face on his hands gently, as if you were made out of porcelain. “Y/n…hey….look at me…” he called out, voice barely above a whisper but loud enough for you to hear. You looked up at him, crying, trauma evident within your gaze. You thought he’d be looking at you with disgusting or betrayal in his eyes, but all there were was concern, worry, care.
“I’m sorry, I never wanted to scare you like this…” he apologized, “I only wanted for you tell me what’s wrong, There’s something wrong and I want to help you like you helped me…but I can’t if you don’t let me know…please…” he pleaded, his intentions were good, he wanted you to know that. “I’m tired…” you said. He opened his mouth to say something but you continued on.
“I’m so tired of being scared…I’m so tired of hiding…” you quietly said, your voice was weak…it broke him. “I wanted to tell you, I really did…But I just don’t wanna get hurt again, I feel like if I do, I won’t be able to fix myself…I’m so sorry Azul…” you cried, he felt the fear and pain in your voice, he wondered who could’ve hurt you so bad for you to suffer like this.
He pulled you into a warm embrace, he was also shaking, out of anger that is, he wanted to know who made you this way, who caused you pain, he wanted them to feel as traumatized as you are, but for now all he needed to do was calm you down. “Don’t be sorry…it wasn’t your fault” you sobbed hearing his words, “It’s okay… I wont hurt you, I promise…” he adds caressing your hair.
After a little while, Azul had noticed you stopped shaking, and your cries had been reduced to sniffles, and your body went slump against his. He looked down to see you asleep, he sighed, wiping the tears stains that trailed down your cheek, he felt you flinch against his touch but then eased back up.
He carried you and laid you down the couch that he filled with fluffy pillow and blankets. He made sure to tuck you in, making sure you were comfortable. When he was sure you’re fast asleep, he kissed you hand and left the room for a bit. He asked Floyd to place Grim beside you, and come right out.
When the twins were both present he told them to keep an eye on you starting now. If anyone were to talk badly about you, upset you, threaten you, or hurt you. The tweels were going take out the trash.
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A/N: Once again people, not proofread lol💀 sorry in advance for mistakes I swear I’m fluent in english, just slightly dysfunctional 💀💀
Edit 1: omg I fixed a part that had missing words it was Floyd’s line, I’m so sorry that must’ve been confusing😭🤚🏻
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sammiesonyourleft · 9 months
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city lights - p.p.
pairing: peter parker x black best friend f!reader
summary: your best friend finds you in a strange place mourning your failed relationship
notes: dedicated to everyone who had a bad situationship) (dis my own canon)
word count: 906
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"Y/N?"
"Oh hi, Peter," You say pausing your music, sitting up from your position.
"Don’t just ‘hI pEtEr’ me? What’re you doing up here dude? It's so late!"
"I needed to breathe. I hope you don't mind. What're you doing here?"
"This is where I come when I take breaks from night patrol. Is everything alright?"
Taking a deep breath in, "No Pete, they're not."
Y'all sit in uncomfortable silence before he asks "Do ya wanna talk about it?"
"I loved him but it wasn’t worth the heartache ya know. I lost myself trying to be what he wanted. I changed so much, and not to say those changes were bad… I made some pretty healthy ones. they were just for him. I adapted so that he’d be more comfortable… so he’d love me back… I realized that it was hella wrong. I shouldn’t be hiding parts of myself because he’s uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have to hold my tongue because he doesn’t like my response. I've spent many nights crying over the fact that he didn’t want to be with me and that I was trying to force something that was not there in the first place. I just wanted to see if he’d come around, ya know. that wasn’t my first mistake. my first mistake was not leaving when he told me he didn’t want a relationship when I told him I had feelings for him. my second mistake was staying."
He opens his mouth in disbelief, pausing before deciding his next words, "But you couldn’t have known that, y/n."
Shaking your head, "Peter, when a guy knows he loves you, he loves you. And he means it. no ifs, and, or buts about it. He will do anything to make you happy and keep you happy. I would know… I’ve seen it before. My grandfather… has dementia. He still goes out and buys my grandma flowers every week. I knew. I just wanted to see if he felt the same. Turns out he didn’t, and I'm difficult to deal with, and “I do too much”. Serves me right though… I knew this rel— whatever this was — had an expiration date, no matter how long I pretended it didn’t. I wasted my time." Sighing dramatically, you lay back down, covering your eyes as you finally come to terms with your feelings.
Peter rushes to lie down next to you, "No, you didn’t; This was a learning experience for you. Sometimes we go through stuff that we don’t want to. but it teaches us for the next time. so now if some guy comes to you now, you have the chance to set boundaries and make sure you're being intentional with who you're spending your time with. And if he takes off running then he’s not the one. If he stays and gets to know you, the real you, not the one that dirtbag tried to make you into, he could be the one."
"But how do I know that it’s not gonna end up the same way again? I’ve been in so many talking stages. I'm tired of learning what to do and what not to do to keep a guy. that was the longest one. and this one hurt the most. we had so many plans together. and now they’re all gone. because of me."
"Absolutely not. Wrong. Not because of you. Because of him. He couldn’t see past everything that’s inside you. He only saw what he wanted to see. He waited until you were fragile enough for him to break you over and over again. He decided he wanted to flirt with you after you told him you had feelings. He’s the one who stayed after you said I love you. He got into your head and convinced you that you were crazy. when you’re not. He had so many opportunities to say “hey I’m sorry, I know what you want but we don’t want the same things, so I think it’s best if we go our separate ways.”
"But he told me he wasn’t ready. I should have just listened."
No. Absolutely not. I’ve seen the text messages. He told you that after y'all bared your hearts to one another. Did you forget where he said he loved you back? Because I don't! That was a big thing. Y/N, Im so sorry he played with your feelings for months. You deserve so much better than that. I’m happy he’s gone."
"Well now you sound like MJ."
"Yea she kind of gave me the run down of what happened, but I knew I needed to talk to you. I don't regret any of my actions."
"What'd you do? Web him up in an alley?
His eyes get wide, and he pops up really fast, "Well well well, we have school tomorrow, why don't we get going?
"Peter Parker, what did you do?"
"Imayhavewebbedhimupandlefthiminthealleynearhisapartmentbuilding."
"YOU DID WHAt???"
"I had to do something! He hurt my best friend! So I dragged him out his sleep and he's currently handing above the dumpster behind his apartment building."
You scream, "PETE! He's HANGING???"
"Yea... Please don't be mad. I can go take him down if you'd like." He looks genuinely scared when he says this.
You laugh, pulling him in for a hug, "Thanks Pete, you're the best friend anybody could ask for. Now let's go. We have pictures to take with a certain boy.
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We be word vomiting. Please if you liked it this pic let me know. Any comments or advice will be greatly appreciated!
xo,
dai :)
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callsign-bunnie · 2 years
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look i know im annoying but can i have more ghost whump 🙏 also learning that’s he’s 24 hurts. he’s so young. imma need you to hurt him bad bc currently i need to feel something so whatever you do will be appreciated 🫡
Look, I'm gonna be straight with you guys, if I don't wanna answer, I just delete the ask. Trust me, you guys are so far from annoying. The only thing that gets to me is how many Konig asks I get and when people as for Noncon/Rape and phrase it as BDSM, even there, just be honest as to what you want, I'm probably still gonna write it.
Ghost had been captured and was now stuck in a box of some sort. It was too small, making him have to curl at an odd angle to fit. An ache was spreading through his bones and he started to kick desperately at the wood. 
Faintly, he thought he heard digging and had to resist the urge to scream. He was pretty sure it wasn’t real, that it was all in his head, but he couldn’t focus. The walls were closing in, threatening to crush him. Reduce him to atoms.
No one was coming. The last conversation he had with Johnny was him brushing him off. Price’s was a list of orders on what to do. He couldn’t remember the last time he talked to any of the others. 
Would they even notice he was gone?
Would anyone notice? Or would he just be a shallow grave?
Would they think he just stopped coming? No one knew where he lived. Would he be marked as a deserter, all while he sat there, rotting away while still alive?
He clawed at the wood around him, ignoring the burning sensation behind his eyes. He knew by now he wouldn’t cry. It wasn’t something he was capable of anymore. 
Digging his teeth deep into the flesh of his hand, he tried to calm himself. It felt like Roba all over again. He just hoped this person wasn’t into experimentation the same way. 
Ghost’s nerves were on fire despite the freezing cold creeping from the grave to reclaim him and he gave in to the urge to scream, hoping his captors would hear him and do something. Anything, just take him out of the box. 
They were speaking in a language he didn’t know. Couldn’t piece together. He wanted far, far away. 
Soap shook him awake, holding him tight. “Hey, hey, you’re okay.” He was warm against him, shaking away some of the feeling. 
Ghost touched his face, realizing he wasn’t wearing the mask. Normally he wouldn’t wear it to bed but something about not having it that night got to him. He grabbed it from the nightstand and shoved it on, not wanting to be Simon at the moment.
“Ghost, what happened?” Soap looked tired, holding on to him.
“I was in a box.”
“A box?” Soap mumbled when it was clear Ghost wasn’t going to explain further. “You screamed.”
“I don’t… want to be in a box again.”
Soap sat up, realizing he had an opportunity to get some information. “When were you in a box?”
Ghost sighed and leaned into him. “Roba put me in two. He used to put me in the a box with a scorpion in it when I wouldn’t go all out in the fighting ring. I’d sit there for hours, trying to stay still so it wouldn’t sting me as much.”
Soap hugged him to his chest, letting Simon hide there. He decided not to ask about the fighting ring today. “And the other?”
“He buried me alive with my captain’s body. They dug him up… Roba told me I should try teaching him what its like to be a man.” Simon sniffled a little. “They shoved me down there. It’s cold. It really is freezing. I had to crawl out of the earth. Tear through the ground until I saw the moon again.”
Soap held him closer. “I’m so sorry, Simon.” He held him close, kissing his face. 
Ghost hesitated, but this was… an opportunity. A chance to tell Soap more, in the quiet of their own room.
“They did other things to me… Experiments. They did… things to my hands. Did something to my ligaments or something so they’d bend more. It makes them ache in the cold. And they cut me open and rearranged my insides so many times and….” He buried his face in his neck and held on to Soap.
“Simon, you don’t have to…”
“No. I… want to . I need someone to know. Someone to believe me. No one every believed me…” He held on to him tight. “I got to the border. I got help and they said some of it looked self inflicted. Or like a botched surgery. Said I shouldn’t have went to Mexico. One asked why I’d want to change my figure anyway. They were so clearly blaming me. I tried to tell them about…”
“About what, mo chridhe?”
“I told them I had been raped. They only cared that a man had raped me, they ignored they had women do it too. And they only cared because they needed to do a fucking std test. I told my brother that they had a woman rape me and he said that must’ve been the best part… He didn’t mean it that way… but it felt like one more person blaming me. So I just…. Didn’t bother telling him the rest. I never told anyone. I’m dirty. It feels like the grave dirt is in my cells, packed in every single organ.”
Soap held him tight. “I believe you. I believe you.” 
Ghost sobbed, frustrated that no tears fell. He wanted the emotions out of him. “I can feel their hands sometimes. I fought back. I promise I did.”
“Simon, that doesn’t matter. Even if you didn’t fight, it wasn’t your fault. You were… captured. You couldn’t protect yourself then, but you can protect yourself now. And I’m going to protect you too. Keep you safe with me.” Soap put him to his chest, feeling his LT fall to pieces. He held him tighter, trying desperately to keep him together. 
“I hated it. I didn’t want anyone to touch me for so long. I want… I want to be normal again. I want touch to be safe.” 
Soap frowned. “Is my touch okay?”
“Yes. It’s so good. But I… I just…” 
“You don’t have to explain.” Soap reassured, pulling him so he was laying down. He curled around him as best he could despite Ghost being way too damn big to wrap all the way around him like he wanted.
“Do you… think less of me?”
“No, of course not.” Soap felt his heart squeeze. He’d kick those doctor’s asses one day. 
“Love you, Johnny.”
“Love you too, Simon.”
89 notes · View notes
pixyys · 3 years
Text
every journey has its own end (and yours has come).
what's this? a short fic based on @neetra's genshin gamer au/ player status series. but you, the mc, has been traveling with paimon and aether ever since you came to the world of tevyat.
it is just a shame that out of every eventful things that'd happened, it is the lantern rite that has to witness how your journeys part.
note/warnings. mc with they/them pronouns (+ being referred as tactician), lowercase intended hehe, mediocre writing and very possible grammatical errors.
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"i asked them about what they would do from now on."
it is yet again the time of the year for the lantern rite. unlike twelve moons back, the traveler and the elusive "tactician" are able to be present in this year's festivities. yet, aether can tell that this is not the kind of atmosphere one should be drowning in during such joyous occurence.
he shook off the thought, trailing off, "they said they'll continue on.. but might not be with us."
"they're leaving?!"
a few onlookers turn their head. paimon has always had ample expressions on her speech, and this news wasn't a particularly one could easily foresee. alerted, the floating fairy promptly hushed her voice despite the lingering concern persisting in her tone.
"b-but, they've been gushing about this festival for almost a year! and it's finally..happening.."
the traveler let out an exasperated sigh, silently mulling at the smoking launch tube.
'human lives are fickle things, sometimes so are their resolve. maybe i'm also one with such nature,' the tactician had said after the last firework had been launched. not in a million years would aether have thought that the crimson, dodoco-shaped sparkle in the night sky would be the one witnessing their paths' parting.
kaeya's favonius sword and jean's aquila favonia wouldn't be so different now, nor be the maiden's beloved and the ocean-hued clam "sets", as mouthful as the tactician likes to make them sound.
almost a year's worth of journey and camaraderie. he wonders what would happen to him and paimon when he finally reunites with his sister.
extended ending.
"hold up you guys! ah-"
the shout was followed by a big splash. someone has fallen on the docks, and it was the tactician.
"aether! paimon!"
it took them some gasps and struggle to get her out of the water, but they are finally back on the wooden platforms.
they are very wet (wink) that the wind might as well trigger a frozen reaction. (not possible gameplay-wise but still).
"i forgot i haven't experienced windblume! and archons! i haven't even met ayaka's super hot brother."
aether can only stand in stunned silence when the tactician mumbles something about "venti" and "raiden shogun rerun"
"ah! and yae miko!"
"hey! paimon's asking you! what are you prattling on about?!"
"i don't wanna be broke, im so broke, oh archons.."
yeah, aether would rather stand in stunned silence than partaking in this tomfoolery. maybe he'll just go to zhongli and listen some of his stories.
"i sure hope you didn't think it would be this easy to get rid of me!"
the traveler smiles. now that is a suitable atmosphere for such joyous occasion.
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end note: @neetra !! i really love your genshin gamer au😭❤ been having brainrots about player status mc and i finally came up with something when 2.4 was just released. i hope you dont mind me writing things based on your au. if you do, please don't hesitate to tell me
and wow the title is such a clickbait sjshsjs. in short, mc is getting tired of all this "artifact job" after a while and decided to venture tevyat by themself (because you know, even a very down bad genshin player can experience burnout at some point *coughmecough* but of course hoyoverse can always rake travelers back with their pretty characters :")
and the tactician part, i just figured how mc can make every vision user stronger technically makes them a 'tactician' (? i hope this makes sense sksks)
anyway, thank you for everyone reading this far, wish you best of luck for all of your wishes <33
222 notes · View notes
cornfarm · 3 years
Text
summertime cicadas
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saiki kusuo x reader
word count: 1.6k
synopsis: you go to saiki’s place to play some video games. saiki learns a bit about your dirty laundry.
cw: suggestions of past sexual abuse. it’s not explicitly stated but it’s heavily implied.
genre: fluff, hurt/comfort
reader is gender neutral!
===================================================
notes:
i’ve had this sitting in my drafts for a few weeks now, but i was never happy with it.
it’s implied that you and saiki are in week 2-4 of dating;;;
i have some other stuff in the works but im tired so notes r boring today
enjoy waaaaaa
===================================================
When Saiki and you were left alone together, the tension that hung in the air was fun and playful. Coy glances, the heart jittering brushes of skin, and the almost knowing smiles you two would shoot each other. This time around, it was heavy, and it weighed hefty on both your shoulders.
It was your first time over at his place since you had begun dating.
You had texted him: can i come over? i bought a new game i wanna play it with u
He was very happy you decided to make the first move, he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. 
Immediately, the “devlivered” at the corner of your text changed to “read”. He hastily typed back: Sure, let me know when you’re here. My parents aren’t home.
You saw letters on your screen, but you squinted your eyes shut upon them entering your field of vision. You had thrown your phone across the room, too nervous to look at his response. Tentatively picking it up, your heart nearly exploded at his words. You quickly respond: okay! be there soon :)
Saiki suddenly felt a bit on edge, realization finally striking him that you were about to be in his presence. In his bedroom. Alone. 
Saiki Kusuo never really felt things too intensely, so to feel it strike at his heart and stomach was almost a bit too much for his liking. 
Saiki wound up sitting patiently at the dining room table, using his telekensis to pick things up, rearrange ornaments and fine china, and clean up trash. The last thing he wants is you coming over when the place is a mess.
The doorbell rang, not that he needed it to know you were here. Beckoning you in, you pull out a small disc box from your bag. 
“I heard really good reviews from it. I was interested in it since I liked the art style but I wanted to wait until people played it and reviews came out before I committed.”
He takes it from your hands to inspect it, “I’m not super interested in recent games, I like older ones a bit more. Indie ones too. I’ve heard that the gameplay is really compelling.”
“That’s okay, we can still play together, right?” You almost look a bit nervous. Saiki gnawed at the inside of his lip.
“Sure,” you don’t look satisfied, “I don’t mind, doing things with you is nice.”
The content expression on your face satisfies him. You follow him upstairs.
Then the tension settles. You’re so close, the pleasant floral scent from your detergent lingering where you walk. He peers behind you as you take in his room: simple, clean, minimalistic. It’s painfully in character. You smile, flopping face down on his bed.
“I’ve only ever been here with everyone else, it was so lively then, but it’s so different when it’s quiet!” You situate yourself so you’re sitting at the edge of his bed, legs dangling off the side.
“It’s the same room.”
“Yeah but, now it’s just me and you.”
“I suppose so.”
You watch as he peers to the wall, a bit away from you.
“What, you’re not nervous are you? Do I make you, THE Saiki Kusuo nervous?”
He clicks his tongue, and begins stalking towards you. He stops right in front of you, shins nearly touching the mattress of his bed. He looks down, expression deadpanned like usual. Perhaps thats precisely why you got so flustered. Your hands coming to clasp politely in your lap, you look up at him, determined to hold eye contact.
“Mhm,” he smirks, “you do. What will you do about it?”
He watches as your lips part into a small ‘o’, before you turn your head down and begin to pout. He’ll spare you this time. The small proximity between you settles in; he should get out of here, nervousness is finally catching up, it’s a bit too much for him to handle. For such a cocky one-liner, he really can’t keep it together. He exits his room for a moment with a brief “wait here”.
He hears you let out a sigh down the hall. Taking the chance to inspect his belongings, you peer under his bed, nothing suspicious there, before making your way to his desk. There’s his computer, a nice leather desk chair, a lamp, and a small empty mug that holds pens, pencils, and highlighters. You thumb through them.
He re-enters his room, quietly opening the door, but just enough so where you hear. Outstreching his arm, he hands you a bottle of iced tea.
“This is,” inspecting the label, “you don’t usually drink these, right?”
Saiki stays quiet.
“So you got it for me? You remembered I liked it?” 
He nods.
You beam at him, mutter your gratitude, and pull out the games box.
Placing the disc onto the disc reader, and pushing it in, you start up the game, and watch the intro animation. 
“Yeah, the graphics are really nice,” he comments.
You adjust yourself, sitting on top a cushion on the floor, he moves a bit closer. 
Skipping though dialog, tutorials, and the first few levels of the game, Saiki controller finally begins responding. 
“I’m sorry, I thought the multiplayer feature would be available from the start.”
“It’s okay, you can pick first”
“Hmm...” you pause, brows furrowing in focus as you look through the different player avatar options. Finally, you turn to him and smile, “this one! Your turn.”
Saiki bites at the inside of his lip, again, moving his thumb over the joystick, he picks his avatar.
It’s nice, it’s quiet, the sound of cicada’s chirping outside his bedroom window, and the soft hum of his fan are gentle. Neither of you are talking about grand things like aspirations and inhibitions, but you didn’t have to. The soft, casual tone of conversation is something Saiki’s making sure to cherish. The game’s fun, Saiki is enjoying himself, he enjoys you. 
But tension still looms heavy overhead. You aren’t the only one who was thinking about it, how close you two were, how your elbows kept bumping, the small,and the way you both tried to get just a millimeter closer.
Saiki knew what you wanted, but he couldn’t pull himself to take initiative. Why? Was nervousness just another curse set out to plague him?
He’s reading your mind, he knows without a doubt you want to, so why is he so nervous to reach out and touch you? He wants to run away.
“Saiki?”
Your voice broke his thoughts, he turns to you. “Are you okay?”
He does it without thinking, slowly placing the controller down and putting his palms on your shoulders. 
“I’m just not used to this,” he finally says, “like, dating and all that.”
You wrap your fingers around his wrists, “that’s okay, I’ve never dated anyone either, we can just take it slow. We have time.” You reassure, “I’m nervous too,” voice smaller than before. He lifts his hands off, hovering them in front of you, debating on where he should put them. Should he put them back on your shoulders, or would that be weird? Maybe it’s okay if he takes your hands into his, but right now your hands are...
His vision finally focuses, and he looks at your hands, defensively positioned in front of your chest with your palms facing him. You’re looking at him with a half smile, but your brows are pursed down. You’re watching him very carefully.
Your thoughts still, pausing until he moves again, taking your hands in his own. He’s confused, why do you look so skittish?
You look visibily confused that he takes your hands. He’s granted one thought:
He’s not gonna do anything, see? He’s just holding my hands, that’s it. He’s not gonna do anything.
Do what? What do you mean? Do what?
“What do you mean?” He blurts out, voice ringing through your head.
Astonishment paints your face. Shit, you didn’t think you said anything out loud. Could he read your mind? He chooses not to say anything.
You shake your arms, he retracts his hands.
“I’ve just had bad experiences with people in the past, I got nervous, that’s all. I’m sorry.”
Oh. Your internal dialog isn’t as pleasant as the words you choose to say. 
“Maybe I’ll tell you about it more in the future,” you still have the strength to smile at him?
He reaches out to touch you again, but never connecting. He hesitates this time, fingers hovering over your forearm. 
“I’m not really interested in that sort of stuff. I wouldn’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you,” he corrects.
With a smile pained with melancholy, you shift yourself forward, wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into his shoulder, legs finding their way between his. He wastes no time wrapping his own arms around your back, pressing your chest closer to his own. Your hearts pound against each other, breathing syncing as you both exhale a sigh. 
“I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I know,” your voice is muffled. 
You stay like that for a few moments. Cicada’s chirping, fan blowing, there’s nothing to say- the silence is comforting in it’s own way.
You finally pull away from him, voice much brighter, “but I’m not ready to kiss you yet, I think my heart would explode!” He flushes red. Adjusting to sit back onto the cushion, you lean your weight onto his side. He tension has finally settled, and Saiki sighs contently. 
Saiki only uses his powers in ways to convinience himself. Fortunately, keeping you safe was more than convinient to him: it was the bare minimum- an absolute necessity. 
As soon as you leave, he’ll find the bastards that did it. 
339 notes · View notes
maria-akira · 3 years
Text
good girls don't get used: michael langdon x fem! reader
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—♡—
READ PART 2 HERE
summary: michael langdon, your ex, falls into a bet wherein he has to (fake) date you. if he falls in love again, he loses and doesn't get the prize.
warnings: private school au, fuckboy!michael, slight mention of sexual topics + i didnt proofread this mwahaha
this fic is inspired by the song 'good girls (don't get used)' by beach bunny.
i don't know if other private schools have bells, because mine doesn't :(
italicized bold words are direct lyrics from the song. but in this chapter, there are none since this is like an intro :)
—♡—
"Dude, shut the fuck up."
"Are you kidding? She really said that?"
"You really think that's gonna happen?"
"Who's class do you have first?"
Voices of different students flooded the white and grey hallways of the school. Different friend groups and teachers can be seen roaming the halls, getting stuff from their respective lockers as they waited for the bell to ring.
"Y/N! Do you mind if I borrow your calculator? I forgot mine at home and Math is my next class." She said while panting.
"Sure, here it is. If you lose it, I'd probably drop kick your ass." Y/N let out a small laugh and grabbed the calculator from her locker, giving it to her friend.
"Gosh, Y/N. I'll never lose it! I'll give it back during recess. Thanks again!" She flashed Y/N a smile and waved bye, before returning to her locker.
Y/N looked at herself in the mirror she had on her locker, fixing the tie that always seemed to be out of place whenever she checked. Her hair was neat, complete with a white headband that complimented the color of her school's uniform.
A few seconds later, the bell rang and everybody started rushing. Different couples were seen kissing before they parted ways for the mean time.
Cringe. Y/N thought. She shrugged it off and held her books tightly to her chest, walking to her next class.
Walking straight into the classroom, she noticed a group of guys dart their eyes to her direction as she entered. They gave her weird smirks. In return, she stared back at them while she made her way to her seat and never broke eye contact. Eventually, she noticed a familiar face among the group.
Michael, her ex.
How the fuck is he in my English class? She thought, along with a whole hundred thoughts roaming around her head. Michael stared back at her, giving her a wink.
Y/N's face gave a hint of disgust, "The fuck do you want, Langdon?" She stood up from her seat and walked over to Michael, pushing his other friends. She heard his friends coo and tease Michael for his act towards her.
Michael put up his hands in defense, "Chill, is it bad to wink at a pretty girl like you?" He said with a smug look, while he grazed his hand over her arm.
"Shut the fuck up, Langdon. Don't you ever touch me." Y/N slapped his hand away, his friends taken aback from her actions. As she walked back to her seat, the teacher entered as well.
Y/N put her face in her hands. By now, a million thoughts were in her head. It's been 2 years since Michael and her broke up, and since then, she made a promise to herself that she would never fall in love with men like him. She was so tired of all the tears and sleepless nights that Michael gave her.
She let out a sigh and lifted her head from her hands. The soft light from the windows filled her eyes after the darkness formed by her hands, causing her to rub her eyes to adjust from the light.
The rest of the hour went smoothly for Y/N, after English class was recess, her most favorite time of the day— aside from going home, of course.
She glanced at her watch, 10:28 AM.
2 more minutes, and English will be over. She thought.
She averted her gaze back on the white board full of scribbles about some writing lesson she clearly did not listen to. She looked over to her classmates and friends, Well they aren't listening either. She laughed at the thought.
As soon at the bell rang, everyone started packing up their notebooks, textbooks, and whatever they had on their table. Every student was seen rushing out of every classroom in hopes of being the first ones in line for the cafeteria.
On the way there, Y/N bumped into her friend group. "Hey Y/N! We heard about happened in English class. Michael is really in your class?" A friend of hers mentioned, "Yea, and apparently that son of a bitch winked at me, such a disgusting ass motherfucker. he should keep his fuck boy ass to himself." Y/N spat out, earning a chorus of 'oh's' from her friends.
When they arrived at the cafeteria, the line was painfully long, all of them groaned in frustration and they had no choice but to wait for the line to move. But once it did, it was faster than usual. After Y/N and her friends received their food, they left the cafeteria to eat at their usual place.
The school rooftop.
A few students know that staying in the school rooftop is permitted, which was why Y/N and her friends loved eating there.
When they arrived at the rooftop, they saw the usual people that they always encounter while staying there. The view was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. The small garden in the rooftop gave a beautiful and elegant touch.
Though there were a few chairs and tables, Y/N and her friends always preferred to eat on the floor. So, they laid the linen cloth on the ground and sat on it. Y/N was wearing the skirt uniform, thus she removed her tux and placed it on her legs to prevent her skirt from lifting.
They shared a few giggles while they ate their meals, laughing about some life experiences, or whatever they wanted to talk about.
Y/N loved this. She loved how she and her friends would have little moments like these, it was like an escape from reality.
The rest of the day went smoothly for Y/N. She didn't fall asleep in any of her classes, which in this case was a very big accomplishment for her.
As soon as she arrived home, her little brother, Aaron, rushed towards her. "Y/N!! I missed you!" He chimed, Y/N kneeled down onto his level and gave him the tightest hug. "I missed you too, Aaron!" Her mom came into the room and smiled. Y/N stood up and gave her mom a hug as well.
"How was school?" Her mom asked, Y/N placed her tux on the coat hanger by the door. "It was fine, Mom. Where's Dad?" Y/N walked over to the fridge and poured herself a glass of milk, "He'll be home soon, he still has a meeting right now." She took a sip of her milk, "Oh, okay. I'll be upstairs doing school work." The glass of milk that was once full, now empty.
She took her things upstairs and plopped herself on the bed. Out of nowhere she felt a vibrating noise from her bag, she rummaged through her bag to find her phone and once she did, a message was see on her lockscreen.
Unknown Sender has sent you a message.
She unlocked her phone and went to her messages.
Unknown Sender: hey ;)
Her eyebrows furrowed. What the fuck?
(Y/N): hi? whos this?
read 2:29 pm
Unknown Sender: oh shit you deleted my number? damn.
"Huh? I don't recall deleting anyone's number..." She went to her recently deleted contacts and it showed nothing.
(Y/N): im sorry, i haven't deleted anyone's number recently, maybe you have the wrong number?
read 2:32 pm
Unknown Sender: im pretty sure you know me, Y/N.
They know my name. And her heart started pounding.
(Y/N): and im pretty sure i dont, so just reveal yourself before i report this number
read 2:35pm
Unknown Sender: ayo chill 😬 its me michael.
"Michael fucking Langdon? You've got to be fucking me right now." She felt rage fill her, slamming her keyboard.
(Y/N): langdon what the fuck do you want? i made it very clear that i dont want you talking to me.
read 2:40 pm
Before Michael could reply, she changed his contact name to 'Motherfucker'
You have changed Unknown Sender's contact name as 'Motherfucker'
Motherfucker: damn you still mad at me after 2 years? gosh (Y/N). whats with the nickname?
(Y/N): of course im still mad, asshole. ill never forget what you fucking did.
read 2:43 pm
Motherfucker: i thought you forgave me 🥺
(Y/N): FORGIVE YOU???? god langdon you're so fucking stupid, i will never forgive you. you didnt even say sorry in the first place!
Pissed off, Y/N blocked his number. "That fucking asshole." She mumbled to herself.
"Hey! Y/N!" A familar voice called out from the crowd. Y/N removed one earbud and turned around to find the voice that called her.
Once she saw the shiny blonde locks from that stood out in the crowd, she immediately ran in the opposite direction in hopes of avoiding him.
It was Michael, again.
"Y/N wait!" Michael called out again, chasing her
For some reason, Michael was able to catch her. He pulled Y/N into an empty science laboratory and they were both panting.
"What the fuck do you want this time, Langdon?" Y/N was catching her breath, fanning herself with her hand.
"Okay. First off, sorry for the sudden message. I know I pissed you off and that wasn't my intention at a—"
"What was your intention then?" She cut him off.
Michael panicked.
"Uh, you know? I just wanna talk to you again. Clear the bad air between us.."
Y/N let out a laugh, "Clear the bad air?? Oh gooood Langdon, you are really so stupid! You know what? You just made it worse." She pushed him off and walked out of the room,
"Whatever it is your planning, Langdon, I'm telling to stop it. I don't wanna talk to you or even go near you."
Michael was dumbfounded. She changed so much. He thought to himself.
2 years ago, Y/N was the sweetest, most innocent girl he knew. Playing with her feelings was Michael's biggest regret, and he's starting to feel it again.
Michael was about to leave the room until he felt a buzzing from his pocket, He pulls out his phone to see who was calling him.
Duncan, one of his bestfriends.
Michael answered the call, "Hello?"
"What's the update on your little girl?"
"She still doesn't trust me."
"That's sad man."
"I know. She changed alot. "
"What do you mean by 'changed'?" Duncan emphasized,
"I can't point it out, Dunc."
"Whatever you do, don't chicken out. I promise this bet is worth it."
"Fine, I trust you."
Call Ended.
Michael ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and left the room before the bell rang.
It was the last subject of the day. Most students were falling asleep or on their phones.
Y/N was scribbling weird things on the back of her notebook, when suddenly the bell rang. She packed up her stuff and stood up from her seat. Before she could leave the room, she saw a familiar face again.
Michael stood by the doorway of her classroom, the strap of his bag over one shoulder while he looked for Y/N among the other students.
Y/N ignored Michael and walked past him, but he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him.
"Langdon! What the fuck do you want?!" She screamed, all of the students averting their attention to her.
Michael put a finger on his lips, shushing her. "Let's go somewhere private, yea?"
"But—"
Before she could object, Michael dragged her outside towards the parking lot.
"Okay this is actually something serious—"
"CUT THE SHIT LANGDON! IM TIRED OF YOU."
"Woah‐woah! Easy now. I actually need your help, with school..."
Michael rubbed her shoulders, looking straight into her eyes. For once, Y/N believed him. His eyes were speaking the truth.
"Okay, fine. Shoot."
"I can't believe I'm saying this.."
"Don't waste my time, Langdon."
"Fine! I'm failing."
Y/N's mouth hung open. Michael was one of the top students in their batch and this was obviously a huge surprise for her.
"Oh, really? What am I gonna do about that?" She crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side.
"Can you please help me? Like, tutor me?" At this point, Michael was desperate.
"Um, no thanks. Just fuck some other girl's pussy for your grades." Y/N pushed him away, but Michael stopped her again.
"I'm serious, Y/N. I really need your help."
"Why me?"
Now that made Michael nervous.
"Because you happen to be the top of our batch right now?"
"Fine! Under one condition."
Michael was curious, "What?"
"If I do this tutor shit, we're doing it at my place. I can't tutor you in your messy ass room." Y/N said. She always remembered how messy Michael's room was when they were together. He would only clean when he was scolded by Y/N.
"That's fine by me."
"Okay then. 5pm, sharp."
She walked away, but Michael pulled her again.
"Let me go! What do you want now?" Y/N said, clearly annoyed.
"Unblock my number, silly." Michael chuckled,
"No."
"How are you supposed to know if I already arrived?"
"Theres a doorbell, dimwit. I'll be downstairs waiting for you."
"Bu—"
"Bye, Michael. I'll see you later." Y/N flashed him a small smile and continued to walk away.
Once he saw Y/N reach the bus stop, he started walking to his car, until someone tapped him on his shoulder.
"Hey Michael, whats the update? I saw you talking to her." It was Duncan. His brown hair was lightly gelled back and the first two buttons of his white dress shirt were undone.
"I'm still trying to win her back, I lied to her that I was failing so she could tutor me. That way, it'll be easier."
Duncan smirked, "That's my boy! When will this tutor thing start?"
"Later, 5pm."
"Hmm, that's good. Remember, if you fall in love again, bet's over."
"I won't."
—♡—
tags mwah: @kitwalker02 @sojournmichael @angelicmichael @deademobitch @iheartfrogs101 @tatestripedsweater @mrs-march-ahs
i hope you guys enjoyed this. i wrote this while doing schoolwork </3
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eligaxy · 3 years
Text
Wind
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☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader
☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)
☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨
☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)
♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS
basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes
Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too
I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life
i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules
KAY ENJOY <3
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
"Please, anybody... Just help me."
Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.
Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?
You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.
What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?
You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.
The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.
A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?
But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?
The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.
'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?
Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?
You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.
Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-
You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.
Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?
You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.
That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.
Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.
Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?
You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.
Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.
"Please, anybody... Just help me."
-
In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.
The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.
Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.
Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...
Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.
Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.
So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?
The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.
And your twin.
His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?
Oh.
So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.
He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.
A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.
But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.
Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.
"Please, anybody... Just help me."
-
As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.
As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.
A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.
The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said
"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."
You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.
"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.
"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.
"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."
Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)
Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3
Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah
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dmc-tings · 3 years
Note
Sooooo, what about a child who’s a vessel from hollow knight and they have a shy and nervous personality about the outside and how would they react to the 4 lords? (Or maybe get adopted)
Not very familiar with the actual lore of Hollow Knight, so I looked up a little bit of what it was. Still confused, I'm trying.
Hollow Knight Vessel and the Four Lords
Alcina Dimitrescu
"What a ghastly little thing."
Where the first words you heard from Lady Dimitrescu
You looked at your feet... or nubs
This woman was mean...
She bent down to get a better look at you
"What, pray tell, is your business here?"
A plume of smoke hitting your face
Coughing and waving the smoke away, you still didn't look up
"I... i..." You where lost
"Hummm." She straightened up
Bela spoke up, "can we keep it, Mother?"
The Lady looked down at you, then plucked you up by the nape of your neck
Gently she held you, inspecting you with a black eye
"It will stay here... and not be harmed."
You sore you saw some empathy in her eyes
Her tone said otherwise, though
She put you on her shoulder
This started a trend, you always on her shoulder
You even went to meetings with her, due to your quiet nature, she forgot you were there
You didn't mind though, it was nice for the large lady to keep you around
Alcina understood your body language, to her surprise
And you were comforted by her large stature
Despite her strict and ferocious disposition, you knew she had adopted you as her own
Angie and Donna Beneviento
Donna found you in the garden
You were shivering and almost unconscious
She wrapped you up in her dress, trying to warm you
Angie watched over you as you recovered, making sure you kept warm
It was several days before you came to
When you did, you were met with "Hey! What are you!?"
Shocked and scared, backing away into the corner of the wall
You shook with fear, nearly crying
Donna gently pulled you to her side
Comforting you, which worked, and you looked at the woman and doll
"Again. I ask, what are you? Your not a doll... or a human..." Angie mused, looking you over
You just pushed your head into Donna's side again
"Angie. Leave them alone." Donna whimpered, not wanting to upset you further
"Im... im lost..." You murmured
It was true, you were hit with a bright light and found yourself in this frozen land
Afraid and tired, you collapsed in the garden
Donna and Angie cared for you, which gave you a little bit of trust in them
For the following months, the pair kept you in and around the estate
Not letting you out of their sight, and tending to your needs
Comfortable with the two, you rarely left their side
Angie, being the most rambunctious of the pair, kept you entertained
And Donna, though quiet, made you feel safe and protected
Your shy nature, intrigued them
It was your silence that made them keep you
It was nice
And you appreciated being around them
Salvatore Moreau
You ran, at first
Moreau spotted you hopping from rock to rock
When he called out to you, you rushed away
He followed
Squeezing into the smallest crevice you could find you, nearly, escaped his grasp
"C-come out... little thing... I shall not harm you." He promised
You cautiously stepped out, him stepping back to look at you
You looked up at him, and he down at you
"Curious little thing..." he mumbled
You looked up, as he spoke
"H-hello..."
He was surprised that you didn't run away from him, or scream
He leaned down, offering his hand to you
You obliged by stepping on to it
He lifted you up to his eye level
Studying you for a moment
"Are you alright?"
You nodded your response
"Not hurt?" He looked you over once again
You let him, seeing as that he wasn't harming you
"I... im... I dont..." You struggled to say
He gently hushed you, soothing you a little bit
He took you to his reservoir, into his humble abode
He made you a small bed on his table
And gently sat you on your temporary home
"Hungry?" He offered you an odd looking pie
Which you gratefully took, digging in
It didn't look delicious, but it was quite yummy!
And it satisfied your hunger
This started a new friendship
Moreau enjoying your comfortable silence
And you enjoying his ramblings about his family and his experiments
Eventually you got brave enough to ask him about helping
Which he joyfully accepted
You started to be come his apprentice
To your delight you liked
Karl Heisenberg
Karl made a face at you
Had he made you?
Naw... he wouldn't make something so... small...
You were itty-bitty..
You looked at him, fear in your round eyes
A giant, (to you) with a GIANT hammer!
He sighed, throwing his cigar to the side, he bent down, kneeling infront of you
"Look, kid... thing... whatever you are, I aint gonna hurt you." He spoke, as softly as he could
You shuffled away from him as he did so
Karl knew he was intimidating, but not THAT intimidating, the giant bitch was more so, in his opinion
"You wanna come with me? You could get trampled by the lycans out here." He waved his hand to the surroundings
You looked around, not saying anything but nodding at him
Taking that as an ok, he plucked you up, by the small cape your wore around your shoulders
Then placed you in his shoulder, due to him really not wanting to carry you
He took you back to the Factory, right into his quarters
You felt safe next to the man, seeing as how you saw some of the monsters around the place
"And you can stay here, while you figure yourself out." He pointed at a small box, that had some rags he had gathered together
You cautiously touched the rags, then buried yourself in them
It wasn't home, but it was comfortable
You murmured your thanks as you fell asleep
This continued for a few days
Him coming and going, and you looking around the room he left you in
Eventually you got a bit bolder, crawling into his pockets and staying there as he walked around
He forgot your presence, and lit a cigar
Causing you to cough, to which he promptly put it out
"Sorry, kid."
Like Alcina, he would bring you to the "family" meetings
And due to being in his pocket, you were easily hidden
You practically became his kid
And seeing as he called you such, it fit
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jackassbroadcast · 3 years
Text
Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it
(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)
If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)
Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL
Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions
The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.
The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)
Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "
This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-
I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.
This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up
Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"
Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "
Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.
Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)
Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro
Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"
Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."
This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and  how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug
(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."
He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .
Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."
Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh*  i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"
Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:
(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"
Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."
Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."
Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.
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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years
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VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)
yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao
word count: 5.6k
SERIES MASTERPOST
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Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.
Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been. 
You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.
This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already. 
You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.
Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.
At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind. 
These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea. 
After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:
“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”
His response came quickly.
“Done. Both.”
You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.
Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.
“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.
You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.
“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”
“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”
“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.
“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.
“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”
“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table. 
You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently. 
“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.
“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.
“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.
“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.
“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth. 
“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”
“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.
The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.
“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”
Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion. 
“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”
“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”
His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…
Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.
“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way. 
You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.
“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.
“Oh.”
“And… it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”
Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.
“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”
You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.
“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”
“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”
You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him. 
“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”
“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.
“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”
“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”
“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”
“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”
“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”
“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”
“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.
“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.
“I… I’m not sure.”
“That sounded more like a no.”
“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”
“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”
“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”
Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.
“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”
You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.
“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”
“What?” you breathe out.
“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”
“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.
“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”
“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.
“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”
“Harry…”
“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”
You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again. 
Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?
It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run. 
He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance. 
***
It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did. 
You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all. 
For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.
Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.
“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.
“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.
“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.
“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”
The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.
“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.
“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.
“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”
You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.
“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”
“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.
“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”
“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.
“Baba!” she exclaims.
“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.
When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.
“You want me to give you a ride?”
“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”
“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”
“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.
Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”
“Uh, sure. It is.”
“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”
“Great. Talk to you later.”
“Bye, babe.”
The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.
“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.
“Um… neutral, I guess?”
“That doesn’t sound promising.”
“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands. 
“That’s nice, was it his idea?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”
“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”
“Harry, I…”
“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.
“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”
“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.
“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.
“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”
“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”
Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.
“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”
“What?”
“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.
Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.
“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind. 
Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building. 
“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.
“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”
“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”
“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”
“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.
“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”
“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”
At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.
“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”
Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.
“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”
“What?” you gasp.
“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”
Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.
“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”
“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.
“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”
He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again. 
“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”
“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”
“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”
“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”
Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.
“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”
“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”
“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”
“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”
You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?
You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away. 
“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.
“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”
“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”
At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.
“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.
By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor. 
Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.
It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions. 
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burnedbyshoto · 4 years
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sex tapes
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— Midoriya Izuku is an overanalyzer in every aspect; it shouldn’t surprise you that he’s into making sex tapes too. When you’re stuck at home for an indefinite period of time, it’s finally time to pull them out and watch them together. —
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pairing: midoriya izuku x fem!reader
warnings: 18+, smut, sex tapes, spanking, sir calling, fuck machine, bondage, choking, slight degradation, dom!midoriya
word count: 3,697
a/n: i’m sososooososoosoosooso tired.... I apologize for any and all mistakes i did this from 2 am to 6 am...........im so tired...... this is for the bnharem collab as always, check out the masterlist for the otherssss buhbye!
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“You want to see our sex tapes?”
Two hours ago, you had complained about needing something to do.
Two weeks ago, Japan had been closed down indefinitely due to a pandemic. A virus sweeping across the nation that had even medical professionals with quirks unable to help. As Pro Heroes, you were given leeway to continue working under specific circumstances. 
Until things improved, Pro Heroes were not allowed out unless circumstances changed. A particular unit of one hundred heroes was permitted to keep up their patrols throughout the entire country because of their immunity to this virus. Unfortunately for you, both you and your boyfriend were not apart of that group.
Thus that meant that you were trapped at home.
Izuku Izuku had been your sweet boyfriend for a little over a year.
Two years after graduating from U.A., you had found yourself falling for your old schoolmate who worked at a nearby agency. He was no longer the short, awkward teenage boy that he was, but instead this tall stupidly buff adult Pro Hero. On top of his flowering, good looks, the two of you began to have instances together. Instances where you would both find yourself running into each other during patrols, having each other backs during team-up missions, and the many parties your old classmates pulled. It was only a matter of time before you held the sweet boy’s collar in your fist, and despite the aggressive look in your grip, you pressed a loving kiss to mouth. 
The rest was history.
He was truly something else. 
But you also learned somethings about your boyfriend that you didn’t realize was a thing until you were far too into this relationship.
For starters, despite how kind he was, how calm, beautiful, altruistic, and self-sacrificing he was in and out of his hero persona, it didn’t bleed into the bedroom.
While there was no arguing that he was a true hero, his aftercare was most definitely the best care of your life, you were almost ashamed to admit that you thought he was vanilla in bed. Not that there was anything wrong with being vanilla, you just didn’t expect him to keep a straight face at the feeling of your breasts pressed against his chest. 
You didn’t expect Izuku to be a sadist of sorts, using his quirk to inflict pain on you. To hold you against ties, sex toys stuffed in every available hole in your body. You didn’t believe he would whisper such lewd things in your ears, taunting you to not cum again despite his cock ramming into you at such bizarre speeds that you were completely overwhelmed. You couldn’t begin to fantasize the way that he would force your body into different positions -- positions you didn’t think possible of yourself! At every instance, he surprised you, destroying all of the theories your old classmates and you had once put together during late-night gossip sessions. As you grew used to this new side of Izuku, the side that made you seriously contemplate if he had some type of split personality, there was one thing you should have noticed from the beginning.
For the most prominent thing that shocked you was the one thing you should have seen coming from the very beginning.
The thing that just made sense for your over-analytical boyfriend to be into.
Sex tapes.
It took a single month of your sexual endeavors to begin for him to ask. You could remember it like yesterday; the way his green curls plastered to his sweaty forehead, his muscles tensing with his heavy breathing when his cock pulled out of your abused cunt. His green eyes, nearly black in their lasting lust, a reminder that you were his, trailed down your body.
“Do you mind if we try something new?” he asked, fingers massaging warm circles into your body. You had nodded, always eager to please your boyfriend in bed. “Do you mind if I film us?”
Had you known what you knew now, you definitely would have said yes still. But maybe you wouldn’t have been so willing to put up with every single time you two fucked if you knew this is what was going to transpire from it.
With the quarantine in place, the two of you could do nothing but watch the news in anticipation for the government to call for more Hero backup. Two minutes under quarantines bleed into two days into one and a half weeks.
The two of you were restless, on edge, and near feral. 
Neither one of you wanted to be stuck indoors, and it was beginning to transpire into your daily interactions. Who knew you would miss physical interaction?
But you two find common ground in releasing this built-up tension through passionate love affairs. You had always believed you and Izuku had a healthy sex life, the both you always finding time to get a good fuck in despite your demanding lifestyle. But this was different.
All-day, the two of you were going at it like horny bunnies in heat. If you hadn’t fucked on every inch of your shared apartment yet, you most definitely have now. The liter of lube the two of you had was gone in five days, and you were beginning to cross off all the sexual fantasies the two of you wanted to try.
Pegging? Done.
Sounding? Done.
Upside down sixty-nine? Done.
Food play? Done.
Every essential role play in existence? Done.
Putting on his costume and fucking him? Done.
You two had definitely gotten a lot of the ‘let’s try it out to see if we like it’ kinks out of the way. As a matter of fact, you were still recovering from wax play gone wrong because you didn’t have the proper wax but were too impatient for the proper one to come in the mail. There was a perk in being a masochist, you guessed. 
If you were honest, you really wanted to watch the sex tapes he had of the two of you. There was something oddly hot about sitting on the couch in front of the T.V. and view the various shots of the two of you fucking. You wondered how different it looked like from an outsider’s position, or if it seemed as good as it had felt. However, you didn’t know how to bring it up without being embarrassed.
So after failing to bring it up, you were stumped on what new to try. To get past this, the two of you had resorted to a website that had over 500 kinks and were now going through it. Things took a turn when Izuku sat behind you on the couch, his hands holding your waist, lips pressing against your neck while you scrolled through the list, trying to find one you both could agree to at the time. But you were never good at paying attention when Izuku’s lips pressed sinfully against your neck.
It took no time for you to straddle his lap, fingers raking through his thick curls, ragged moans pouring from your mouth when you ground against his hardening cock. His fingers gripping your waist in the same spot so hard you wouldn’t be surprised at the time this was all over your skin would be permanently dimpled in that area. Mouths meshed together in wet lust, his tongue coercing you for louder noises, more dramatic reactions to his dizzying force.
It’s when he presses your shoulders against the cushions of the couch, his teeth imprinting against your sensitive skin, do the words slip from your mouth.
“I-I wanna see our s-sex tapes,” you stammer, heat flashing deeply through, burning through your core as if you hadn’t had sex in years. 
For months now, he’s kept the videos hidden from you. You didn’t watch them, they definitely weren’t leaked anywhere, and as you said, your sex life was healthy, so there was no reason for Izuku to be watching them for pleasure afterward. Especially not of late. Your need to watch them on your T.V. was too high, and with them plaguing your mind, it seemed to come out now. 
Thus the question that started this all poured from Izuku’s mouth when he pulled away from you.
“You want to see our sex tapes?”
His forest green eyes peered down at you, they weren’t their usual nearing black with lust eyes, but instead a light green.
Excitement.
Darkened eyes were almost universally known as a promise for something good to happen, but no, not for Izuku. A smile spread across his face, pink tinting his cheeks while he nods his head in that same boy like excitement.
“Such a dirty fucking girl, wanting to get off on watching us fuck? ...I’ll go get it!”
Light eyes on Izuku was a threat. A promise that you had no idea what you were getting yourself into, a sign that you were going to be nothing but an experiment for him to try out. 
Izuku stood up, his tall frame seemingly bigger than he was, and walked away. You let out a ragged breathe that you had no idea that you were holding in while he retreated to where his phone most likely was. 
You lay awkwardly on the couch, pushing up against the plump cushions you could only imagine what his plans for you were. You didn’t expect him to pull out popcorn for the both of you to eat while you watched this, not after feeling his hard cock against your crotch.
But what would he do to you?
You yelped when his fingers grabbed your wrists, tugging them upwards, forcing you onto your feet. Blinking rapidly, you watched while Izuku wrapped a silk tie around your wrists, attaching it to the hook on the ceiling most definitely not to be used to hold your weight.
“Izuku?” you whine when he appears before you in a flash of green electricity. 
“The thing about our sex tapes is that I take them for... educational purposes,” Izuku sighs, his thumb running against your lower lip. He coats his thumb lightly with your saliva, his eyes remaining bright when he pushes your mouth down. “I take them to make sure that I fuck you properly each time.”
You whimper when his fingers hook around the waistband of your shorts and yanks them down. Your mouth drops in a shriek because something cold and full enters your cunt.
“If you want to watch them, that means I expect you to learn to. I want you to be able to fuck my dick the way that I want you to,” he sighs in your ear, obviously pleased by the way you arch into him. “Don’t worry, y/n, if you do well, you’ll get the real deal. If not? Well, we have time to waste until you get it right, don’t we?”
“Izuku, I didn’t think you,” you try to form sentences, but your mind is already foggy when he places a stool between your legs. It dawns on you that this wasn’t just a dildo that he shoved into your cunt, it was a fuck machine. “Holy shit…”
Izuku chuckles, stepping away from you and turning on the T.V. You watch while he connects his phone to the T.V., your arms already feeling like lead above your heads, and nothing had even started yet. His phone connects, and you watch with growing shallow breaths when he makes his way back behind you.
“Don’t look away from the screen, baby girl. I don’t want you to miss anything.”
Your eyes shift to the T.V., a familiar scene of your naked, cum stained body showing up on the pixels before you.
It was the very first sex tape.
“Now, I’m going to be giving you instructions. Pass them, you get my cock. Fail them, and well, we’ll see how long you can last there until you get it right.”
Without a second delay, the video plays, and with it, the fuck machine is turned on.
You watch the screen Izuku, and you kiss sensually. Your body stiff under his, obviously tired from the rounds you’d already endured. Izuku’s arms wrap under your legs, quickly slipping his cock back into your cunt, and the pornstar moan that ripped through your screen you’s voice made you scarlet in embarrassment.
“See, right there,” Izuku speaks to you from behind, and you shudder. The feeling of the cock slamming up into you was something new, the new angle was something similar yet different from riding Izuku’s own. But the tension of keeping yourself was proving to be a challenge. “When you circle your hips, throw your ass out more. Don’t be a prude about it.”
Your eye focuses on your swiveling hips, and you see what he’s talking about. Your ears burn in embarrassment, and you stammer in your discomfort. But before you could genuinely get your opinions out, a heavy hand comes down on your ass. 
He slammed his right hand against your ass cheek, making you shriek while your skin throbbed in his wake. The sharp pain made your legs buckle, a hot pressure igniting in your core, and another loud slap repeated on your opposite cheek.
Fisting in your hair, you yelped loudly when Izuku yanked your head back. The arch in your back was dramatized by this action; your back ached as another heavy slap echoed against your wounded skin. His light, but still wild breathing hits the shell of your ear, chills shoot down your spine when he snarls.
“What did I fucking say?” he whispers in your ear. “I said to follow my instructions—” his hand comes down against your ass with every word, ignoring your growing wails— “I’m the one who’s keeping you from my cock, so you better start listening because my patience is already thin.”
The next spank that comes across your ass nearly sends you stumbling over at the strength and power behind it. Your arms tremble above you, the weight and struggle to keep yourself upright was a challenge as Izuku abused your ass.
“Answer me, baby girl.”
There was no stopping Izuku’s mighty hand against your tender ass, and you could not think of anything but how your cunt throbbed for the man behind you. Your sobs of pain had long ago become those of pleasure, and you could feel the raised prints of his hands on your sore cheeks. 
It delighted you.
“Y-Yes, sir!” You pant, your body trembling in your excitement and need for more.
“You like this, don’t you,” he laughs almost delightfully while he rubs circles against your heated skin. “I guess we’ll have to make this harder for you.”
And harder, he made it.
Izuku came for your speed, intensifying the machine that was currently slamming into your squelching cunt, insisting that you needed to outpace the machine. At one point, he even grabbed your waist and assisted you on your conquest of out fucking the sex machine, but it was overwhelming you. You could barely hear Izuku’s corrections, his demands for you to improve the dipping of your pounding hips, his advice of how you should be louder in bed, of how you should stop using your head so much.
But right now, you could no longer keep the focus on the POV video of you sucking his cock and were entirely mesmerized with the dildo thrusting into you and the way the recently placed gag felt in your mouth.
The fuck machine blows into your tight and slippery cunt, your eyes rolling backward at the mere sensation of the speed it was at, and a loud mewl leaves your throat. His fingers snuck behind your head, unfastening the gag, and was removed with a saliva string, and a sob croaked through your voice as your mouth was finally free. 
“Suck my dick just like that, baby girl,” on-screen Izuku pants, pleasurable noises following after only fueling the hot lava heat in between your legs.
You whimpered, watching yourself take his cock into your sore throat. The ever so eager on-screen Izuku wasting no time starting his face fucking.
You try to keep up with the momentum of the toy, pretending they were his viciously thrusting hips on-screen. Your hips fall against the toy despite its insane speed, keeping up with it according to the praises that now fall from Izuku’s mouth. Your breasts bounce with every thrust, and you moan, seeing yourself choke against his cock. Izuku chuckles, standing up behind you, his hands fondling with your breasts, his moans satisfactory and low, he was enjoying this a lot by the feeling of his cock pressed into you from behind. 
“Look at you, so desperate,” Izuku chuckles, his fingers tweaking your hard nipples. “So fucking needy.”
The words ignite a fire within you, and your legs tremble in unspoken glee. You wanted him to fuck you until you were nothing less than a mess. You needed him to give you his cock instead of this stupid fucking machine.
“IZUKU, PLEASE,” you scream, no longer satisfied with the fake cock stimulating your core. “PLEASE FUCK ME! PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR DICK! PLEASE, I NEED IT SO MUCH!”
Izuku chuckled, somehow pleased with your desperation, and with the sloppy noises of you sucking him off on-screen, and the machine billowing into your cunt, he let you free from the ceiling. 
He threw you against the couch, your tied arms moving over his head and pressing your sweating chest against his taut one. His fingers held onto his cock, teasing your entrance while he stared up at your pathetically needy form.
“Let’s see how well you learned.”
Without so much as a warning, his hips slammed entirely into you, and your mouth dropped into a silent scream at the way his thick cock pressed against your cervix. It was a familiar sensation now, and excitement you had grown to lust over despite the pain it brought you. 
You panted as he slammed into you, pulling you by your hips so he could get a rapid rhythm going. You kissed him, saliva, teeth, and tongue clashing together in this desperate clash, you clawed at his back, desperate to hear him snarl. Unsatisfied with his lack of response, you bit down hard against his lip, the familiar taste of iron filling your mouth. 
He let out his own pained moan as you sucked at his skin, which only coaxed him to drill harder into you, driving you further down into the cushioned couch that would have your back imprinted into it permanently.
His hand found your neck. “You’re a fast learner, huh?” he squeezed his hand around your neck, while he found the perfect soft spot above your breast to suck on, your choked moans a song in his ears.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you managed to squeeze out, your eyes clenched shut when you felt the burning coil build up in your stomach. “Oh, fuck, Izuku, I’m… I’m so c-close!”
“Is that right?” He said through his own labored breathing. He sucked on his index finger before trailing it down to your sensitive nub and began rubbing it, making your hair stand up on your skin.
His hand against your throat tightened, and black dots littered your vision; the heat of his hands burned against your skin. His teeth sunk far into your shoulder, enough for you to feel your skin breaking as his tongue moved in heated wet strokes to calm your now irritated skin. Then there were his nimble fingers running against your clit, your spastic walls clamming around his hammering and throbbing cock. But your bouncing and swiveling hips-- his taught lesson -- held no value anymore. Izuku’s hips snapped upwards fast enough and powerful enough to overcome and overwhelm you, disregarding any improvement you had made. The only thing you could make out with the way that you were no longer able to keep your eyes open was that his cock was hitting your bruised cervix. The sounds of your sopping wet pussy crashing against his forceful hips rang in your ears in a primal yet excited fashion, and the familiar sound of him using One for All to intensify everything about this fucking.
Your pussy clenched around his cock, and you dug your nails into his back, crying out when an ecstatic wave shot out through you, causing your legs to shake more than before.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he growls, and once again slams into you.
Your scream is silent, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your fingers digging into his neck, and your toes curl. His hips are driving, persistent, and have a goal in mind. You can barely keep up with him, your long overstimulated body wanting to collapse at the seams, but he doesn’t stop.
The couch creaks loudly under you, shifting against the floor until you swear you can feel Izuku having to take steps to keep with you against his powerful thrusts.
“Cum, Izuku,” you beg, your hips wildly thrashing against his. “Please, fill me with your cum!”
That’s all it takes, and a hot and heavy load shoots through you, and Izuku collapses onto you. His body twitching while his cock remains hard within you, the feeling of his cum swimming in your cunt, making your head spin with euphoria.
“Holy shit,” you mumble, unable to say anything but that. No amount of fucking had made you feel like this yet.
“I didn’t think you’d have such a… such a good reception to the sex tapes,” Izuku admits, pulling out of you and stumbling to his feet. 
“We are pretty hot,” you jest, trying to compose your sweaty and sticky self.
“You are,” he agrees with a sweet smile. “Give me a sec to clean you up!”
You could only hum when he presses a last kiss to your mouth before retreating to get you cleaned up. Your eyes fell on the camera that had been recording everything and was still recording. A smile perked on your face, maybe you did really like this sex tape thing he had.
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tigerdrop · 3 years
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in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that
ta-dah
ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11
so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)
basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out
now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME
he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)
the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"
(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)
vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping
jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off
and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away
and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try
(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise
and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him
unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey
now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.
and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.
(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind
so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)
but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this
lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play
but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later
and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not
i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic
it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)
it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.
and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"
and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"
normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff
its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!
i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?
well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro
anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)
“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion
and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head
gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is
and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair
so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.
and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).
benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is
benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful
so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried
point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best
benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.
he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words
hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus
benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher
he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.
gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!
but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.
anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.
for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.
and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.
gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.
the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!
gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.
benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth
and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—
and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.
then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.
once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself
he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.
“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”
“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”
and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—
except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—
and—
oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.
then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”
“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”
“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”
“im not a bad dog!”
“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”
(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)
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morizoras-cave · 4 years
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Uncomfortable
Jake Gyllenhaal x Teen!Co-star!Reader
Genre: Angst, fluff-ish?? mentions of mature shit
Description: Your boyfriend forces you to do something you’d rather not, and the whole experience has made you feel weird and uncomfortable. Jake certainly knows something is up and when you tell him, he’s not happy.
Warnings: Non consensual shit, sexual assault, mentions of blowjob, asshole bf
(A/N): hey i just wanna say if you wanna request something please do it! im realizing the benefits of having others come up with your one shots hahahaha.. also no one should force ya’ll to do shit!!! freedom baby!!
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You were 5 hours into a 10 hour plane ride, just watching the night sky, as you crossed continents. Your tired eyes blinked at the sparkling stars, but your mind was buzzing too loud for you to sleep. 
Yesterday, right before you left again for the press tour, your boyfriend had forced you to do something. Or, well, not forced. Heavily implied he wanted you to do something. Or made you do something. None of those sounded right. 
You were trying to justify it in your head. “Please,” he’d said, “you’re gonna be away for the press tour. What’s bad about satisfying me just once?” Then slowly, his pleads had morphed into commands. You didn’t want to do oral. It wasn’t something you felt ready to do. And he’d forced you. Or not. 
I mean he was right. You were gone a lot, and if he had to stay faithful, you had to give him something right? But you knew you were worth more than that. But was he justified? I mean, he’d just grabbed your hair and- 
You shuddered. You didn’t want to think about it. Maybe that was best. Just moving forward and forgetting it. It was too difficult to figure out, you decided. 
“Hey, N/n,” Jake mumbled groggily beside you. He’d nuzzled comfortably into his neck pillow, and fallen asleep like virtually everyone else on the plane. You looked at him and smiled softly. “What are you up to?” 
He sat up straight, apparently done sleeping. His hair was messy and his baggy clothes was ruffled and curled. You looked to the screen in front of you, realizing it was pitch black, and you’d done nothing but worry the entire plane ride. 
“Nothing,” you chuckled bitterly. Jake’s eyes furrowed and he frowned. He put his warm hand on yours, that was lying on the arm rest. You snapped your head to him and saw him, searching your eyes.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. You looked down, wondering whether it was too stupid to talk about. 
“It’s just that.. My boyfriend did something that made me kind of.. Uncomfortable, recently,” you choose your words carefully, knowing that if you said something rash, it could make your boyfriend sound very bad. Which he wasn’t. Right?
“What did he do?” Jake’s tone grew much more serious. You blushed, shaking your head. It was a weird thing to say out loud. 
“It’s nothing too serious. It’s just.. You know, I didn’t feel very ready to do.. A certain act with him.. And he kind of.. Made me?” Your tone was almost questioning, reflecting to Jake how you couldn’t quite figure the situation out. 
“He made you do something?” Jake repeated.
“Well, no- no, that makes it sound.. Too real. I guess..” As you were trying to defend your boyfriend, you realized that he did actually force you. I mean, he grabbed your head! “He.. He forced me. But he was justified!” 
“Y/n, forcing someone can never ever be justified..- Okay, tell me what he.. forced you to do.” 
“Jake- Please, just let this go, it’s embarrassing!” you whispered to him.
“Y/n.” 
You sighed. Jake’s eyes wouldn’t leave your distressed form. You were young and inexperienced in relationships, and Jake didn’t want you to be steered into a dark place because of some asshole. His hand was still cemented to yours, and he squeezed it comfortingly. 
“He-.. He wanted me to give him a.. A blow job, or whatever.. And I said I wasn’t ready, but he said that since I was leaving for such a long time, he deserved it. I continually said no, but.. He forced me.” 
As the words left your lips, the reality of it hit you. He forced you. Instead of respecting your comfort, he forced you to do something you didn’t want to, just so he could feel pleasure. Tears pricked your eyes. 
Jake had gone quiet, seemingly bubbling with rage. He clenched and unclenched his jaw. 
“You need to break up with him,” he said finally, his voice low. His eyes found yours again, tears on your face. Putting his hand on your cheek gently, he wiped the tears. “You’re gonna break up with him.” 
“Yes,” you agreed firmly, nodding your head. It was now crystal clear in your head, the act of saying it out loud seemingly clearing your perspective on the matter. You sniffled and smiled at Jake, “Thank you.” 
“Don’t thank you me! Just write him a text already!” You couldn’t help but giggle at Jake’s silliness. It made you feel better.
You and Jake spent the next hour or so crafting the perfect, most hurtful message possible to your soon-to-be-ex. Jake laughed at all the silly and petty stories you told of him, but a part of him remained serious. He never wanted you to go through anything like that. It wasn’t funny to any degree and he made sure you knew that. Lucky you, that Jake would help you like that. No one would ever hurt you like that again, not on his watch.
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taehyungsbabyygirl · 4 years
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Socialità
Chapter 1
Genres: Light fluff, tinge of romance and wholesome(?)
Warning(s): The littlest bit of sexual tension if you squint
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Fortune, fame, beauty.
Those are the things that people had associated you with.
Who does not know Y/F/N Y/L/N? You're basically in every magazine cover, every Youtube thumbnail and news headline. Surpassing Kylie Jenner as quote unquote The World's Richest Young Businesswoman and even beating Ariana Grande as the most followed female influencer on Instagram.
Who really are you? Well, to explain it simply to people who are unaware of you, your businesses and socialite status, you are the owner of a multi-billion dollar brand.
What started with a small online business at 16 which sells nightwear for women with affordable, cheap prices had bloomed into a luxury brand known for their elegant, classy clothing line, ranging from lingerie to formal clothing such as glamorous dresses to charming suits and tuxedos for both men and women.
The brand name? After years of rebranding, it's finally official that the name is, Socialità. Fitting with your brand's target market which were rich socialites from across the globe. Of course there was a reason for that, considering that the materials were high quality, imported ones such as satin and silk from Japan, Egyptian cotton, and French lace, also the designing and productions team who were amongst the best in the art of fashion and exclusivity of everything that was made under the brand, without a doubt would result in a higher cost of production and simultaneously a higher price for the merchandise itself.
And all this success did not come easy, there were countless times when you wanted to hideaway and give up on everything you had invested on. At the age of 28, you finally got to where you are now, thriving with the business that you had built with your own bare hands from the confines of your own bedroom.
But, there was one thing that you were lacking in, the love department. Although you were pretty much well-known by youngsters to elders alike, luck does not seem to be on your side when it comes to romantic relationships. It's not that you weren't romantic or sweet enough, gosh you are a hopeless romantic actually, but you just somehow fall for the wrong person, time and time again.
All the people you had dated once you established a name in the fashion world were either self-centered jerks or gold-digging leeches who were only there for the fame and riches. It's as if you had dated way more men than Taylor Swift ever had, except, you don't call these people out in songs.
Aside from owning a lavish clothing brand and billions to your name, having to work with socialite circles, had granted you the socialite status too. You'd be lying if you say that no rich bachelor had tried to flirt around with you but, your previous horrible experiences with dating as a successful businesswoman made you put your guard up and in the end turning you into the most sought after bachelorette of the 21st century.
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"What??? The Bachelorette?? Gosh guys, that would be a horrible idea." You shook your head, swirling the red wine in your glass before sipping on it.
It was a normal weekend evening for you and your peers aka your personal management team which consisted of Selma, Carrie, Lulu, Trey and Giovanni. Sitting in the dining room of your enormous mansion in Calabasas while drinking cheap wine and munching on Cheeto Puffs.
You just finished ranting about how you are so unlucky in love and that you're almost turning 30, without being cuffed to someone. In your opinion, people in their late 20s had already met that person and having good balance in their work, social and love lives but you're here having a nonexistent love life instead.
Tired of constantly listening to the same rants over and over again, Giovanni proposed that you put yourself in a controversial yet exciting TV show, The Bachelorette.
"Girllll you should give The Bachelorette a try, I mean I know that the show is basically scripted but it seems exciting, no?" Giovanni chirped.
"Oh my god yasssss! I'd have the time of my life if I'm surrounded by a dozen of good-looking hunks!" Carrie joined in and daydreamed.
You snorted and put your glass down on the marble surface of the table.
"Yeah but the men on there are usually insincere and only in it for their 60 seconds of fame and the winner of the show is probably just motivated by money. What difference does it make with me going to a private party or nightclub and getting to know dudes there?" You retorted; brow raising to your two friends.
"Sis, the difference is, these men would have to submit a form regarding their background and audition for the show! If you want, we could even be your reps during the audition. We know who are the best people for you!" Selma answered your rhetorical question while pouring herself another glass of wine. She's your PA and bestie so she knew how to reply with the same energy as yours.
Sighing deeply with your fingers pinching your nose bridge, you thought once, twice, thrice and made your decision. Well, what's the worst that could happen right?
"Fine, fine! I'm in with the idea. But if this thing goes south, I.Am.Out." The dominant businesswoman persona in you presented herself whilst the others, especially Giovanni, cheered upon your agreement with their idea.
-----
After months of preparations for your big reality TV debut, it was finally the day for the first week of The Bachelorette. Although you're the one being the prize and the one being chased, you felt uneasy and nervous to meet the men who had passed the auditions to become contestants.
"Don't worry! Me and Giovanni made sure that we only let the best ones pass the audition. And when I say the best ones, I meant, socialites, doctors, businessmen and even kinsmen of royalty!"
"Only the best for our QUEEN!"
Those were the words that came out of Selma and Gio's mouths. Thankfully you have these reliable people to help filter through the applicants of the program. If you gave the show's producers 100% control over who comes in and comes out of the show, it'll be a hot mess and they'd probably choose the men based on their looks and bulkiness but not necessarily the brains and skills.
Throughout the audition process, all of the men's background and names were kept a secret from you by Selma and Gio, it'll be a surprise, they said and you trusted them with it.
Sitting at the back of a limousine alone, you started to fidget with the dangling diamond of your earring subconsciously; a habit that you developed whenever you had cold feet.
The vehicle was heading towards the villa where the first meeting would happen between you, the bachelorette and your suitors.
You and the production team had discussed about how the first meeting would be. You thought that the idea of having to stand in front of the villa's front door while the men arrive in limos were quite cringy and not to mention time-consuming and unnatural so you proposed the idea of having the men arrive in a first come first serve basis and sit in numbered rooms in the villa while awaiting you. In that way, you could see who was punctual and who was late. But the catch is, the contestants only have 5 minutes to chat up with you and leave a good first impression.
-----
Alas, you finally reached the villa and stepped out of the automobile. Your dress was a satin, rosé coloured one with a modified A-line, basque waist and halter neckline; glamorous yet not over the top, suitable for a socialite like you.
Not wasting any time, once the cameras started rolling, you entered the ginormous villa and headed upstairs to the rooms, knocking the door gently before entering the space.
The first man you met was Kim Namjoon, he introduced himself as an engineer, a sound engineer. He was confident from the get go and eloquent too.
"Hmm an engineer ay?" You propped your head with the palm of your hand; leaning against the couch's back pillows.
"Yeah.. My family insisted I do that. I wanted to be a musician at first, and that's why I took up sound engineering now." He gave out a dimple smile which you couldn't help but grin at. They're adorable.
You liked his presence and how outspoken he was but sadly the 5 minutes were before you knew it.
Next, you met up with a gentleman named Im Jaebum. A winery owner. He gave you a warm hug from the first time you entered the room.
"I heard that you're a wine conoisseur yourself Y/N? I'd love to take you to Napa Valley where my winery is. I'm sure we'll have a blast there." He smiled and acted a bit smug.
"That sounds like a plan.. I'm not a person who would say no to wine." You replied with a light wink, returning the smugness to him.
Continuing on, after Jaebum, you entered a room which looked bigger than the previous two you'd been in.
By the big window, there was a man with broad shoulders who introduced himself as Kim Seokjin, as he turned around, he greeted you and pecked your hand.
"Nice to meet you I'm Kim Seokjin, just call me Jin." He smiled softly, inviting you to sit down next to him.
"Nice to meet you too Jin.. So what do you do?" You asked carefully; quite intrigued by how good-looking he is with the slicked back hairstyle he has.
"Well I'm a professor of English and Korean Literature. Probably one of the most uninteresting jobs among the other guys." He timidly admitted; being quite humble.
You immediately disagreed with his statement, telling him that literature components are fascinating and that educating people about it is a magnificent job.
Afterwards you conversed with a man named Park Jinyoung. He was also extremely dashing and he's a car dealer. But not just any car, the ones he sells are top brands such a Lamborghini, Maserati, Tesla and Ferrari.
"My job is amazing. Good money, good image, but there was something missing and I think we both could relate to that, we both are looking for love." He half-bragged which didn't really impress you but you agreed nonetheless.
As you politely excused yourself to move on to the next room, where the man was leaning back and scrolling through his phone. Fair skin and contrasting ebony coloured hair.
This guy gave off a cold vibe to you but that made you even more intrigued to get to know him.
"Hi..." You sat on the couch with him and he gave a small smile as he put his phone the side.
"Min Yoongi.. Nice to meet you." He extended his hand out to shake yours. A pretty formal greeting despite the consequences you two were in at the moment.
You two kept the conversation going by talking about your jobs and background. Everything you asked, he answered in all honestly and you liked that. The push-and-pull game was a fun one to play but with Yoongi, the small talk you had was chill and relaxed, the most natural one you had the whole night.
Up next was a kind looking male, taller than Yoongi who seem to be nervous about meeting you for the first time.
"Hello!" You greeted him with a bright smile to ease his anxiousness.
"Hi, hi.. I'm Mark Tuan. I'm an artist.." He abruptly greeted you back.
"Ooh! Like musically or..?" You tilted your head.
"Visually.. I draw and paint."
You led the conversation with the man since he looked very hesitant and awkward the whole time.
The next room had a bubbly and energetic man who was basically radiating good vibes as you entered the room. His name was Jung Hoseok. As you peeked into the room, he immediately walked towards you and gave you tight bear hug with a huge smile plastered on his face.
"Well besides my job as a paediatric specialist, I also enjoy dancing. Do you like to dance?" He jumped off the seat and proceeded to pull you up with him to playfully salsa. His actions made you laugh happily.
"You're so spontaneous!" You hit his chest lightly, still laughing at you guys' actions.
After the exciting interaction between you and Hoseok, you had to calm down and lower your expectations again after it skyrocketed because of the doctor earlier.
That's when you met a muscular man, if Hoseok earlier had radiated good boy vibes, this one radiated bad boy vibes.
He was Jackson Wang, a well-known socialite who is the heir of Wang Co. Ltd. A company which sells electronics such as smartphones, tablets and computers.
"Hello.." You said softly, slightly intimidated by the man's comparably bigger size to you.
"Hello, pretty lady." He took your hand in his and kissed it just like Jin had but his way of executing it was different. The male kissed each of your knuckle and it got you culture shocked.
"Oh wow.. Okay.." You laughed awkwardly as you looked at the man kiss your hand.
The conversation went well with him despite you noticing that he was practically staring at your with those deep brown eyes while you spoke about yourself to him.
The sexual tension was there and you were hoping, praying that the next man would tone down a bit and let you relax, thankfully custom jeweler, Park Jimin did.
"I'm a jeweler.. And can I just say, I adore these diamonds. You have remarkable taste." He proceeded to run his hand gently through the diamond earring you were wearing.
"Thank you! And I absolutely adore this choker you have on.." You reciprocated his action which made him smile softly.
Next up was the room of a private jet pilot named Choi Youngjae.
"Nice to meet you Y/N! I hope we could create good memories here. I'd love to bring you on a helicopter and show you the aerial view of California." He mused but you're not entirely impressed but acted as if you were in order to not hurt his feelings.
"Aww I'd like that. The view must be amazing!" You cringed at your own words but smart enough to mask it.
Hmm, you foresee someone who's potentially going to go home first in this show. His words lacked personality and character and not well thought.
Come on, you obviously had rode a helicopter and saw the aerial view of California. You ride it to work whenever the traffic is congested. He could at least thought of another country or state but instead he settled with Cali, the state where you are based in.
Disappointed, you moved on to the next room, surprisingly, the atmosphere was different, the area was dimly lit and the man sitting on the chair had his legs spread.
"Hi.." He spoke with a deep, low voice that caused you to bite your lip.
"Hello.." You smiled amidst the tense situation, making your way towards him.
"Kim Taehyung.. Fashion designer and owner of TH Couture." He answered without you asking.
The male was quite blunt but his demeanor was alluring. There was a mysterious aura circling him, totally someone to keep an eye on. The conversation was as intense as Jackson's but the two of you had the same interest which was fashion so you didn't feel as awkward as when you were with Jackson.
After Taehyung, it is down to three more people, you were already losing momentum and excitement as you already had spoken to 11 men that night. Before entering the next room, you took a deep breathe and loosen up your shoulders.
In the room was a man, he looked the most different, he had a lengthy name, a Thai one.
"Kunpimook Bhuwakul, but just call me Bam Bam.. I know my name's quite long and I'm also more comfy with Bam Bam.." He bowed to you like a gentleman and smiled handsomely at you.
"That's an adorable name! Bam Bam huh?" You sat down and grinned at the latter.
"You think so? You're adorable-er" He winked at you and caught you off-guard.
As the five minutes of jokes and flirty pickup lines ended, you bid farewell to the Thai man, little did you know that the person you just talked to was related to the Thai royal family.
Entering the 2nd last room, there was a tall man, looking around the well-furnished room but as soon as you came in, his attention diverted to you.
He greeted you with enthusiasm, introducing himself as Kim Yugyeom, an app developer and gaming streamer.
"Gosh you're pretty." He said straight-forwardly while smiling brightly and hugging you snugly.
"And GOSH you're tall!" You replied with those words and the same smile as what he had on his face. At this rate, reciprocation is really your best friend when you don't know how to react or reply to a certain remark from the suitors.
You talked about the apps Yugyeom had developed and the variations amazed you. He had created tons of apps such as games, workout apps, e-commerce platforms, online stores and sorts. But when he started talking about games, you began to lose interest in the chatter. Games weren't your strongest suit but you were happy that he is passionate about them and sharing it with you.
Finally! The last room! Which meant that this person is the last person to arrive to the villa. You wonder who this latecomer is and when you got into the area, your eyes widened.
Jeon Jungkook? He was somebody you had worked with and still actively working with. He is the person in charge of the photography and videography for Socialità and seeing him on The Bachelorette is a huge surprise.
"Wait.. JK?" You didn't know how to react.
"Hey! There's my girl!" He walked towards you with his bunny smile and gave you a hug. You couldn't believe that this was happening, Selma and Gio must've put him in to pull a prank on you.
"One question. Why?" You laughed in disbelief.
"Can't a man try?" He questioned back cheekily.
You two continued the conversation casually without any awkwardness as the two of you had known each other already. That was when you got to know that he had taken a liking on you ever since you two started working together. Everything he told you had sounded sincere so far.
-----
After the first meetings were over, all the men were put in the lounge to get to know each other's competition while you were interviewed by the crew regarding your first impressions of all of your suitors.
"Well everyone was pleasant. But there were a few who didn't pass my vibe check. I guess we just gotta see how it goes." You gave an ambiguous answer to the camera.
"Who do you think caught your eyes the most?" Henry, the producer asked.
"Hmm.. I don't want to seem bias, I mean this is the 1st episode after all but... Hoseok was fun to be around.. Jackson came off very strong. And well Jungkook too of course!"
"You seem to know him.." The producer stated.
"Yes yes.. We actually work together.. I didn't know that he'd want to participate in this show too." You shrugged and flashed a pearly white smile.
"Do you see anyone who might be going home soon?"
"Oof.. That's a dangerous question. That'd probably be ..."
To be continued (3 March, 12 AM, KST)
Author's note: Sorry for the delay guys! I underestimated the length of this chapter but I hope you guys like it! Don't forget to like and reblog this to show support! Also follow so you don't miss out on updates! This chapter is more of an introductory chapter so we'll be seeing more action and interaction between Y/N and de boyzzz.
Who do you think would be eliminated first?
Tagging @aretha170
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