#single braincell squad

[starry-skies-116]

Transformers Reboot Incorrect Quotes (but it's chaos™):

Samuel: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Bumblebee, via his speakers: Okay, but what is updog?

Heidi: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Mikaela: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Katya: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Jesse: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Samuel: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Mikaela: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Heidi: No, that's an updraft.An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Bumblebee, also via his speakers: What's a henway??

Samuel: Oh, about five pounds.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: On a scale from ‘damn Daniel’ to ‘fre-sha-vaca-do’, how would you say you are feeling right now?

Mikaela: Ooh, that’s a tough one. I’d say I’m feeling in between ‘it’s an avocado, thanks’ and ‘how do you defeat Captain America’. Oh, but as a solid answer, I would say ‘I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger’. How about you, Heidi?

Heidi: Oh, me? Uhh… probably ‘road work ahead’. Bumblebee, communicating via text to Samuel’s phone: I speak many human languages, and this is none of them.

______________________________________________________________

Jesse, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Mikaela, pulling out an Uno Card: Plus four.

Heidi, pulling out a Pokemon Card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Samuel, pulling out a Yu-Gi-Oh Card: Blue eyes, white dragon!

Bumblebee, utterly perplexed, sending a text message to Samuel’s phone once more: Guys, what are we even playing anymore…? Katya, nonchalantly: Go-Fish.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: My girlfriend’s too tall for me to kiss her on the lips… what do I do, guys? Ironhide: Punch her in the stomach. Then when she doubles over in pain, kiss her. Jazz: Tackle her!

Arcee: Grab her clothes and pull her down.

Wheeljack: Kick her in the shins!

Mikaela: Wh- oye, no to all of those! Just ask me to lean down, what is wrong with you people!

______________________________________________________________

Squad’s reactions to being told ‘I love you’:

Bumblebee via his radio: Thanks, fam!

Samuel: *crying and blushing* I love you too~!

Heidi: Sounds fake, but aight.

Mikaela: Oh, I know you do, cariño. After all, who wouldn’t~?

Katya: *An extremely flustered mess*

Jesse: Can I get a refund?

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Bye Mikaela! Bye Heidi! Bye Katya! Bye Bumblebee! Bye Jesse! Bye Mikaela!

Jesse: You said 'bye Mikaela' twice.

Samuel: Because I love my goddess of a girlfriend.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Christmas lights?

Bumblebee, via radio: Check.

Katya: Thermos of hot cocoa?

Bumblebee, via radio: Check.

Mikaela: Santa suits?

Bumblebee, via radio: Check.

Jesse: Shovel?

Bumblebee, via radio: Check.

Heidi: Alibi and bail money?

Bumblebee, frantically beeping and doing a double take: Check - wait, WHAT?!

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Time for plan G.

Mikaela: Don’t you mean plan B?

Samuel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Heidi: What about plan D?

Samuel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Katya: What about plan E?

Samuel: I’m hoping not to use it. Simmons has to be used as bait in plan E.

Bumblebee, chittering in pleasure and vibrating with excitement: I like plan E.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Heyooo~!  

Bumblebee, via radio, waving cheerily: Hiii~!  

Jesse: Greetings, Humans. 

Katya: Three kinds of people.  

Mikaela: I want pudding.  

Katya: Four kinds of people.  

Heidi: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?!

Katya: Five kinds of people.

______________________________________________________________

Mikaela: We need to distract these guys…

Samuel: Leave it to me!

Samuel: Centaurs have six limbs, and are therefore insects. Discuss.

The Agents: *Immediately begin arguing* 

Bumblebee, watching in horror, sending a text to Samuel’s phone: Oh, I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

______________________________________________________________

Mikaela: Samuel and I don’t use pet names.  

Heidi: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Mikaela: Honey?  

Samuel: Yes, love?  

Mikaela:  

Heidi: Do me a favor and don’t lie about these kinds of things again, heh.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Heidi, Mikaela and I were crossing the street, and some car drove by and honked at us. 

Optimus: *Sighing* What did Heidi do?  

Samuel: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...  

Heidi, nervously chuckling: Whooo wants a steering wheel~?

______________________________________________________________

Mikaela: Yo, do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth? Samuel: Oh, don’t endanger yourself like that, please.

 Bumblebee: You’re a hazard to society.

Heidi: And a coward. Do twenty.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Believe it or not, I was quite the nerd in school~! Jesse, rolling his eyes: I am pretty sure that is a surprise to absolutely no one.

Samuel, making a drinking tea gesture with a pinky sticking out: Whoop, there it is!

((Reference from Sanders Sides)) ______________________________________________________________

Ratchet, talking about human culture: I mean, seriously, who would want to live in a cartoon world, as a cartoon? Mikaela: OHHHH, MY GOODNESS~ THAT WOULD BE THE MOST EPIC THING~!!!

Ratchet, deadpan: Oh. Question answered.

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Heidi: Oh, well. We tried, we failed, let’s go to sleep.

Ironhide: It’s literally 2 PM.

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Heidi: People tell me I have a rather unique way of lighting up the room~! Arcee, sighing and pinching where the bridge of her nose would be: Human, it’s called ‘arson’ and those ‘people’ are Decepticons, a meager percentage of whom you’ve left as witnesses.

______________________________________________________________

Starscream: It’s a white flag, human, and you might as well start waving it~

Heidi, wild-eyed at the top of their lungs: THE ONLY THING I WILL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING COMRADES!

Samuel:

Mikaela:

Bumblebee:

The entirety of both the Autobots and the Decepticons:

Optimus: Good lord…

______________________________________________________________ ((That one episode be like)): Bumblebee: Hey, Prime, what would you say if I came home with, like… let’s say, three humans? Optimus: What’s in your cabin? Bumblebee:

Optimus, more calmly this time: What’s in your cabin, Bumblebee? Bumblebee: …I think you know.

______________________________________________________________ Sam, parking the car outside of a restaurant: Hey- Mikaela, Heidi, can you get us a table? Mikaela and Heidi in unison: Oh, sure thing!

[A few minutes later]

Mikaela and Heidi sprinting out of the restaurant, Mikaela carrying a table and law enforcement tailing close behind: BUMBLEBEE! START THE ENGINES!

______________________________________________________________

Barricade, negotiating with the Autobots: We have Heidi. Give us the boy and they will be returned unharmed. Optimus: Don’t do anything to them!

Barricade: I won’t, as long as you comply with our-

Optimus: No, I’m serious this time. Don’t do anything to them, Heidi!

Heidi, glaring at Barricade with a mischevious smile, already having freed themselves from their restraints: No promises~

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: No, no- c’mon, guys… he regrets his mistakes, so why not hear out whatever information he wants to give to us? Arcee: That… CANNOT be where the bar is!

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Heidi: Just you and me, big guy- two tickets to surprise city! I call dibs on window seat, by the way~

((Reference from Sanders Sides)) ______________________________________________________________

Mikaela, panicking: Help me, please, I beg of you- I told Samuel I’d cook dinner for all of us tonight but I can’t cook!

Jesse, pouring wine directly into the cereal bag: And, let me get this straight- you thought I, of all people, could help?

______________________________________________________________

Jesse: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Mikaela: You think I of all people know how to do that? Samuel: But I’m not… wearing a watch right now.

Heidi: Time is a construct created by us mortals to process the chaos of the world easier.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel, trying to ask Mikaela, his longtime best friend since childhood and his next-door neighbor, out: Would you like to stay for dinner? Samuel’s mother, Hualín from the back: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER!?

((Reference from Mulan 1998))

______________________________________________________________

Starscream: Top ten reasons why the fleshling is coming with me! Number five will surprise you!

Heidi, already lugging out an oversized plasma rifle: Top ten anime deaths. Number one. YOUR SORRY ASS RIGHT NOW.

______________________________________________________________

Jazz, pulling out one of his flashcards on modern 2000’s human slang: D-W-I.

Heidi, with zero hesitation: Driving whilst intoxicated.

Jazz: N-No, ‘Deal with it’! What is wrong with you humans these days…!?

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Jesse, excited and surprised: Wait, the city’s theatre director’s in this!? Katya: Oh, no, his understudy’s going on tonight.

Jazz: And… who’s his understudy?

Katya, twirling gracefully and smiling: Meee~!

Bulkhead, sighing: Of course.

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________ Heidi, smiling: Well, this all went spectacularly according to plan!

Optimus, raising a brow: Surely it didn’t.

((Reference from Sanders Sides))

______________________________________________________________

Bumblebee: What’s a word that’s a mix between ‘mad’ and ‘sad’? Jesse: Disgruntled, desolated, disappointed- Heidi, with a short pause to punctuate: Smad.

______________________________________________________________

Mikaela: Hey, Ratchet? Ratchet: Yes…? Mikaela: Can a human breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Ratchet:Ratchet: …Where’s Heidi?

Mikaela: *nervous whistling*

**gurgling and gasping noises being drowned out by the sound of the washing machine heard faintly in the distance**

Ratchet: …Mikaela, where is Heidi?

______________________________________________________________

Zenith (Decepticon Original Character): Are you sure this is the right way? Knockout: Certainly! I’m as sure as I am honest!

Shockwave: In that case, we’re definitely lost.

______________________________________________________________

((How one S1 EP1 moment would pan out))

Bumblebee: I really like this whole ‘good cop bad cop’ thing you have going on!

Mikaela: It’s not really an act, y’know. It’s just that I’m mean and Samuel isn’t.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Mikaela: Hey.

Heidi: Wassup?

Jesse: Hello. Katya: Hi. Bumblebee: Hi~!

Samuel, facepalming: I gave you the keys to my place for emergencies only, what the dickens is all of this!? Katya: We were out of ice cream.

Samuel, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose: You're lucky that you're my friends and I love you. ______________________________________________________________

Jesse: Nothing in life is free. 

Katya: Love is free! 

Mikaela: Adventure is free. 

Samuel: Knowledge is free. 

Heidi: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

______________________________________________________________

Samuel: Hey, what does ‘take-out’ mean…?

Katya: Food!

Mikaela: Dating. Jesse: Murder. Heidi: It can mean all three if you’re not a coward.

___________________________________________________________

Heidi: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Katya: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Jesse: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Mikaela: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Samuel: I was dragged into joining in on the dumb stuff.

Bumblebee: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

 ___________________________________________________________

Heidi: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses!

Mikaela: This knife is actually a magic wand. 

Katya: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. 

Jesse: *cocks gun* Magic missile. 

Samuel: …I’m calling our group therapist again.

Bumblebee: I don't know if I should be laughing or disappointed in you humans.

 ___________________________________________________________

Bumblebee: Okay, but imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.

Samuel: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years! 

Jesse: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you so much for finding this, I must say!

Mikaela: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! 

Katya: My moral code, is that you? 

Heidi: Oh my gosh, mental stability, my old friend!

Bumblebee: 

Bumblebee: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk that Ratchet left me but do you guys need a hug? ___________________________________________________________

Samuel: Good morning! Jesse: Good morning. Bumblebee: Good morning. Mikaela: Damn, you all sound so depressed, try spicing it up a bit!

Heidi and Katya together, in perfect synchronization: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

___________________________________________________________

Samuel: Why don’t we bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one?

Mikaela: Tubular AF! 

Heidi: Mood to the max! 

Jesse, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it. 

Katya, joining in: If she breathes, she’s a square!

___________________________________________________________

Samuel: Uh, guys, Jesse’s not moving. Is he sleeping or dead? 

Mikaela: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. 

Heidi: Yeah, so did I. 

Jesse: Okay first of all, fuck you guys-

___________________________________________________________

((During that one episode where the three get arrested)):

Jesse, filling out legal paperwork: Okay, so… when you three were born, were you assigned AMAB or AFAB?

Mikaela: Uh, bold of you to assume I’ve been born at all. Samuel: Given just how strange my body and constitution is compared to the average human, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was created in a lab. Heidi: I just straight up spawned, I guess.

((all of them are trans af and share a single braincell lol))

___________________________________________________________

Ratchet, bursting into the room, faceplates snapping into an expression of pure panic with his optics flickering like a strobelight: “Optimus! You need to see this, the situation’s really-” Optimus, cradling Samuel, Mikaela, Heidi, Jesse and Katya all together in his arms: “Shh… the humans are sleeping.” Ratchet, lowering his voice down to a whisper: “Oh. Sorry.” Optimus, also whispering: “It’s alright, Ratchet, worry not. What did you want to tell me?” Ratchet, still whispering calmly: “The Antimatter Engine caught fire during testing.”

___________________________________________________________

Samuel, Heidi and Mikaela sitting down on a bench together: 

Jesse, walking by: Why do you children look so sad? Heidi: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Jesse sits down, only to hear a wet and quiet squelch*

Mikaela: The bench is freshly painted.

___________________________________________________________Heidi: I don’t get when people ask me if I identify as nonbinary. I am nonbinary.

Heidi: If anything, I identify as a threat to my enemies. ___________________________________________________________

[tis-the-marmot]

Echo's gone and he took the single braincell of the squad with him 🤟😔 and yeah i know i know i'm two episodes late for this and they all look weird don't @ me i sketched this in a rush

[imaginespazzi]

I'm with you on the P defense squad. Beyond making fun of her two braincells, poor dancing, questionable clothing taste, and rizz hands, ofc, I won't stand for any slander for my favorite blonde himbo.

If there's anything we actually know about P it's that she loves Azzi (as a friend or more) and genuinely seems like a good person. So the whole she's cheating or playing in her face just really goes against the few things we actually know about her. They'd never do something to intentionally hurt each other. So if P is in a college let's have fun phase (her right) she's obvi single.

And on the flip side the whole thing is messed up for Azzi too, like as if she's just a doormat without any sort of agency, just sitting around waiting for P to come home after a night of sliding into everyone's dms and hoe-ing around campus. Can we please start respecting the People's Princess? NO ONE in their right minds would run around on her.

I genuinely want to know where the narrative of Paige being anything other than literally the sweetest human (albeit a little annoying) around Azzi even came from? Like first it was the "they hate each other" phase and now this and I really don't know where y'all are getting these weird vibes from like please enlighten me.

Paige is literally a golden retriever. Girlie would not hurt a fly let alone her best friend. And Azzi might be quiet, but there is no world where that girl would stand for that kind of disrespect. Idk why y'all would even wanna believe they're together, if you think their relationship is that messed up?

[tacagen]

rating thawne's deaths on a 10 point scale

snapped neck: 6/10. ok. not good, not bad, well-deserved, timeless, impactful. i love the way thawne is still complaining about that one though.

flashpoint: 9/10. imagine becoming a living paradox and proceeding to rant about how your speedster nemesis cant hurt you now (very normal way to put it btw.) only to be pierced by a fucking sword. dumb and classic, all good here.

the button: 100/10 THE DUMBEST DEATH OF THEM ALL AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE. also a classic, imagine being told multiple times that youre going to die and fucking carry on like youre the Smartest here and nothing could ever happen to you and actually ima adopt you barry. thawne's character at its finest.

running scared: 8/10. not bad. ironic last words and 'on my life i swear' about the promise he intended to break all along. once again, dead because he couldnt shut the fuck up and look around him. iris, my beautiful tired of thawne's shit queen, I STAN.

the flash cw season 1: 5/10. dont remember it much asides from being totally pointless as it has 0 effect on thawne's existence further and our beloved Genius of Time Travel, who can Calculate Every Single Timeline Consequence To His Actions revealing his fucking name to his ancestor and bullying him into murder by suicide.

legends of tomorrow season 2: 10/10. love this one. top 10 reverse-flash moments. my dude got together like 15 other versions of himself for each to do practically fucking nothing other than to group pose and die. an honorable mention: poor black flash who got called a monster just for trying to do his timeline protection job and who endured all of thawne's shit only for it to turn out completely pointless as well. then again if you think about it, everything that happens in cw is pointless.

the flash cw season 6: 2/10. does that even count as a death. makes zero fucking sense. 2 points only for thawne being a total loser and resembling negaduck's 'crisis on infinite darkwings' death.

suicude squad: hell to pay: 10/10. i gave this 10 points already just for his last words 'fuck my life'. again, DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHICH GETS HIM KILLED. thawne believing in the afterlife in the first place feels out of character to me though.

finish line: 0/10. it was very hard to waste a character like that without even realizing it AFTER WRITING HIM WITH SUCH A DEEP UNDERSTANDING BEFORE but you've done it, williamson ⭐

legends of tomorrow season 7: 7/10. very balanced death, little bit of thawne having zero fucking braincells, little bit of meaning. not even complaining about the concept, silly little domesticated rat doing his silly little job of preserving the timeline. i approve.

jurassic league: 10/10. first i suggest we just stop and think for a moment about the fact that we got a DINOSAUR THAWNE in a list of deaths. second THIS PREHISTORIC DUMPLING GOT FUCKING EATEN. third insert an extinction pun. perfect understanding of thawne being a fucking joke of a character and meme potential.

flashpoint beyond: 12/10. did NOTHING in the plot. meant NOTHING for the plot. just spawned as a corpse and looked pretty in the morgue (10 points already purely for The Page) and i respect that. 1 more point for the button encore and another to martha wayne. thank you for your service queen, we'll never forget your impact on this one.

knight terrors: the flash: 8/10. this mf lasted exactly 3 pages. neat but a bit sad if you think about it. not only got killed unprovokedly but his precious museum he just tried to protect got damaged as well. didnt even get to finish neither the tour or his point about barry not being able to wake up (again, only tried to help in a way by that?). also i like the way he's once again a creation of barry's subconsciousness acting suspiciously fruity.

[theblatantninja]

I love how theres like two majorly different takes on Helia.

The first: Soft boy, sensitive, shy, quiet, refuses to fight because it’s violent, sad and lonely at first, best friends with Timmy because he’s also awkward and quiet

The second: Smart ass, quiet because he’s a Saladin and has been media trained since birth but is silently judging everyone, refuses to fight because he thinks its fucking stupid, best friends with Timmy because he’s the only other member in their squad who is actually mature. Constantly co-parenting Brandon Sky and Riven while the three fight over their single shared braincell.

[morgan-lowell]

Who do you think loves building miniatures in Haikyuu?

Tbh i had to look up what this was cuz I had no idea LOL

But it’s those little DIY building kits!! Those look so fun! There’s like houses and cafes and little nooks for your bookshelf. They kinda remind me of Legos but a lot more detailed. I imagine they’re very relaxing to put together.

Anyway, a few characters did come to mind that I think would enjoy building miniatures :3

First up is Akaashi. We all know our favorite literature major has a mountain of books and what better way to organize them then with some book nook miniatures? It’s relaxing for him to put together and quiets the rush of thoughts that usually flood his mind. Fidgety hands begone! Although he puts them together pretty fast…

EEEEE I JUST LOOKED UP A BUNCH. HE WOULD TOTALLY HAVE AN ALICE IN WONDERLAND THEMED ONE. And I can see him having the one with cherry blossoms and a train in it. Bokuto probably saw them and got interested too. They tried to build one together once. Bokuto’s hands were not very steady lol and he kept losing the smaller pieces. It’s okay tho, he likes watching Akaashi put them together instead.

I can also see Asahi and Yachi liking them. The Karasuno artists✨ Asahi doesn’t like buying them for himself but when Yachi finds out he likes them too, they buy the same one and do it together.

It becomes a whole thing with Karasuno. On days off, they chill at one of the third years’ house and try to help Yachi and Asahi with them. The Single Braincell Squad™️ (Tanaka, Noya, Kags, Hina) don’t find it that interesting. Hinata would be curious but ultimately would be kicked outside with the rest to work off excess energy lmao

Finally, we have the man, the myth, the legend himself Kita. Just try and convince me that Mr. “Being Meticulous and Thorough Just Feels Good” would not enjoy putting together a tiny doll house. YOU CAN’T CUZ HE WOULD!!

Holy crap, I just saw one of a Japanese courtyard. It’s a yaquan courtyard? It looks so cool, we’re giving Kita this one HEHEH

It was actually a gift for his grandmother but she can’t do it by herself. She’s gotta call her beloved grandson to help her out and of course he’s gonna agree cuz why wouldn’t he. This gets added to their ritual. Every day after dinner and cleanup, they take some time to work on the miniature together. This image makes me incredibly soft brb I’m gonna cry.

Honorable mentions: Aone (I have no explanation, it just feels right), Sakusa (the completionist), and Kiryuu (the final member of the anxiety club)

[dailytoukoha]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ day 18 - Vivid BAD SQUAD Meeting

Toya and Kohane are here to show that they have the same mindset (and perhaps share a single braincell)

[found-family-tournament]

Found Family Tournament Round 1 Part 25 Group 123

Propaganda and further pictures under the cut

Floof Squad: Kendal, Alinua, Erin Ruunaser, Falst, Tess Ruunaser, Dainix

Sea Fam: Chongire, Elda, Dr Numeri & Butler

Submissions are still open!

Floof Squad:

Floof.

Sea Fam:

They're a villain team working for a sea witch under the ocean and live together in a mansion, where they all have their respective house chores and jobs. Three out of the four of them are always unmotivated and depressed af and Butler is just trying to have a functional thing going on.

They may sell each other to the devil for one corn chip in order to avoid being the one tasked with the evil work, and steal each other's food from the fridge, but when push comes to shove, they look after, take care of, support and protect each other, and even when ultimately defeated, they never even think about splitting, because in their mind they're a unit, cannot be separated. Also, they vibe together a lot, have one single braincell between all of them (if Butler isn't present, it just bounces between the other three) and pick up phrases from each other as the show progresses and it's adorable. Both Chongire and Numeri have a soft spot for Elda, while Butler very clearly doesn't know how to interact with a child.

One of them turns out to have manipulated and lied to the rest, and may or may not want to commit world genocide (the rest of the fam included), yet once everything is settled they just pick them up and go back home together without even a second thought bc what are they supposed to do? That's their buddy.

[insideliascrazyhead]

The Sannoh Hoodlum Squad shenanigans 2

Tetsu:Local Cinnamon-roll that blasts the most screeching death metal out there!

Naomi:Cobra who was peacefully and drunkly sleeping nearly jumped out of his skin

Shiba:I loved it

Yamato:It was hilarious.

Dan:I nearly pissed myself laughing man

Noboru:So did Cobra and he wasn´t even laughting

Leave your leader alone

Smokey:The poor bastard

Murayama:Why would Cobra-chan be taking naps on the table anyways?!

Hyuga:Concussion nap.

Smokey:Depression.

Rocky:Tequila

Cobra:You read it Murayama choose your favorite answer.

Tetsu:This man will never be able to dress even if it would be to save his life

Murayama:I ain´t complaining.

Rocky:since when does Cobra wear his tits almost out?

Naomi:Mugen....crazy times for playboy Cobra.

Yamato:Still crazy how he survived this time without STD

Noboru:Or a shit ton of kids

Hyuga:TMI!Now I see it in my head....

Cobra:Congratulations.

Dan:Now he´s sick of being single probably

Cobra:Yeah I´m excluded from nights because I´m in desperate need of some action.

Tetsu:He looks a bit like a escort

Cobra:What?! Chiharu:A luxus escort Cbra-san!

Murayama:Now that´s how he earns money....

Shiba:We told yall gas station constantly closed for a great reason

Dan:He´s on his way to shoot onlyfans content.

Cobra:I will just go get cigarettes,might not be back....

Tetsu:The politeness and rudeness after Cobra´s ridiculus scream

Naomi:how cute Chiharu tries not to laugh

Junko:Cobra screamed so loud we heard it all the way down the street!

Oshiage:we thought someones dead!

Tetsu:Yeah R.i.p Cobra´s dignity.You will be missed

Yamato:pouring out one for our homie dignity!Gonna miss you man....

Cobra:pull that shit again and I swear the members of Sannoh Rengokai go missing!

Noboru:Cobra.Don´t leave social media evidence for crimes.

Cobra:Whatever I would do great in jail.

Hyuga:Not with that face.Or that hair.

Rocky:Or his manly squealing.

Tetsu:On the road reloaded!

Noboru:I don´t even wanna fucking know how you managed this photo

Dan:Let´s just say Chiharu ran over the phone....

Cobra:Dumbasses

Rocky:At least they wear helmets?! Naomi:Because they need each braincell they get.

Smokey:Well Cobra seems like you got some extra to spare then,I never see him wear one

Cobra:Eat me you prick.

Hyuga:With all the hits Cobra took to the head over the years,man gotta start wear one when he ain´t on the damn motorcycle.

Tetsu:Pre-Painkiller giggle Cobra; nearly taken out by a eager Chiharu!

YamatoChiharu nearly offed Cobra with that wannabe bodyslam man!

Noboru:Can you feel his blood on your skin?!Killer!

Cobra:Not dead jet....

Chiharu:For that he did kick me.

Dan:Yeah sadly only nearly in the jewels....

Tetsu:A shame really.

Cobra:and will again I swear you crazy squirrel!

Rocky:That´s the literal even though concerning but only way Cobra has any action in bed

Cobra:wouldn´t you wanna know old man

Hyuga:Cobra´s probably a manwhore,I mean look at him!

Smokey:Yeah the injured guy in the hospital bed it totally being a whore right now.What the hell man?

Cobra:Whores at least get paid for sex.I do that for my own entertainment.

Naomi:Wise words of a total dumbass

Tetsu:Long nights....

Rocky:didn´t we explain it´s wrong to drug your leader

Naomi:Cobra drank on his own grown up free will

Shiba:it´s too easy with that dumbass you just give him a glass and tell him to drink

Tetsu:just like Yamato would eat anything you give him

Dan:even whatever Cobra cooked

Yamato:it wasn´t that bad

Noboru:the shit looked poisonous dude!

Chihaur:and it was on fire!

Cobra:Oh c´mon I survived those years with my cooked food too!

Hyuga:Yeah crazily.

Smokey:Barely.

Yamato:All you eat is takeout and candy!

Cobra:No I don´t!

Yamato:Explain that to your trash!

Cobra:What do you fucking do in my trash?!Stalker!

Noboru:You threw his phone in there when it woke us up at 7 in the morning

Cobra:no human should be awake at that time.

Yamato:Normal people who gotta work a normal job do!

Tetsu:Earned break time

Noboru:Go back to work Yamato you´re poor

Yamato:Oi!Upper middle class!Also on break!

Smokey:You´re always on break with tools in your hands?

Shiba:Tried to eat them probably

Hyuga:Don´t be mean for someone with Yamato´s little amount of brain cells it´s hard to focus on

two tasks so he just makes a break with the tools

Rocky:drunk from last night and thought that´s Cobra and Noboru

Dan:probably was angry they don´t answer him

Chiharu:But Cobra rarely talks

Tetsu:Oh kid you´re gonna learn how to be fluent in Cobra silence and other noises as sign of living soon.

Tetsu:Grumpypants

Oshiage:Screw you or I´m gonna hit you with my damn shoe again!

Naomi:I´m gonna join the beating

Cobra:I would love to see Tetsu get beaten with a shoe

Noboru:Cobra.no.

Dan:Try again.

Cobra:Whatever then I at least pretend to stop her

Yamato:a true leader everyone

Tetsu:bittersweet beautiful revenge of the Cobra twist.

Cobra:The squeaky toy noises that came out of you where hilaious.

Yamato:No im bruising!

Dan:Tell others it´s lovebites

Noboru:Yeah from a snake.Romantic.

Chiharu:He doesn´t speak to anyone exept us tho...

Tetsu:And his mom

Cobra:revenge wouldn´t be necessary if you don´t open your trap otherwise there´s no forgiveness.only death.:)

Yamato:dramatic motherfucker

Naomi:also  nobody would date him that means you basically date Cobra and Noboru too

Shiba:that would be too exhausting.

Murayama:We love a Cobra twist.

Rocky:You just love Cobra.Not the twisting part idiot.

Murayama:was on the recieving end though!Then he threw me through the room with literally only his legs that´s hella impressive!

Hyuga:In his playboy times he probably trained his legs a lot.In multible positions.

Smokey:You dirty bastard.

Tetsu:Sannoh beauty session!

Rocky:Did he inhale to much face masks?

Hyuga:Hair dye seeks into his brain!

Smokey:Too much hair spray fumes.

Corba:Can´t I just be in a great mood?!Whatßs wrong with you?!

Murayama:You´re Cobra-chan!You don´t have a good mood.Like ever.

Junko:only crazy destruction and sadness

Cobra:Eat me!

Tetsu:Hard times

Naomi:He looks so ashamed it´s adorable.

Shiba:such a beautiful scolding

Junko:sucessful day

Rocky:That´s what he get´s when he behaves like that

Noboru:You don´t even know what he has done now

Rocky:Solidarity.

Murayama:omg I love this

Hyuga:ill pay whatever you want for a video of that scolding

Rocky:Imma double it if Noboru and Cobra get scolded too

Noboru:oh no they love me.So does Yamatos mother.Sorry gonna throw you and Cobra under the bus here man

Murayama:So your mom needed to adopt a kid that turned out to be a dissapointment too.Sorry Cobra-chan.Then another one until she found the right one?!Damn.

Naomi:Naah that woman just has a big heart for strays

Tetsu;So does Yamato.See Chiharu.

Tetsu:Celebrating victory

Smokey:You gotta get your leaders head checked

Murayama:that looks like he took a few nasty hits.

Naomi:I will get the big first aid kit...

Shiba:Cobra and Yamato look like they got hit by a truck.

Cobra:Relax it was just Kohaku.

Yamato:He nearly choked you to death though

Cobra:whatever a lot of people have that urge.

Hyuga:Understandable

Rocky:Cobra does look zoned out you might wanna check on him

Junko:lights on nobody up in there

Tetsu:more painkiller giggles and forced water.Hydrate or Diedrate!

Naomi:I still hear his whine of That teuqila tastes weird!

Yamato:When I tried to explain it´s not tequila and he nearly teared up and said is that supposed to be beer?!That´s even worse you sick Bastard.I nearly peed mysielf laughing.

Noboru:Didn´t he threw the cheese slice from his burger at you then?!

Yamato:Yeah it was horrible.that shit was still hot!

Cobra:luckewarm at best you drama queen

Murayama:I love S.W.O.R..D

Naomi:That smack was great too!it hit you right in the head

Dan:He shoul´ve been in a sugar coma from all the candy by then anyways 

Tetsu:It was great when he basically threw out his money for candy at the grocery store and Noboru tried to argue that future not high Cobra is gonna be pissed!

Chiharu:“Future Cobra is a dick and faaar away!Until then I gotta use that cash now.For candy,cigarettes and dumb unecessary stuff like that which just makes me feel better!“

Rocky:Gotta see that shit

Hyuga:sadly hes relativly okay now

Murayama:I could break his leg!Then off to the emergency room Cobra-chan goes!

Hyuga:Or I hit him with my car!That´s too easy.

Yamato:Nobody goes near him what the fuck you crazy bastards?!

Murayama:No killing Cobra-chan or Imma take you to Oya and let the crazy full timers have your ass!Only leg breaking....Maybe.

[asleepinawell]

my background story for my himbo lizard boy wol has always been fairly vague and mostly along the lines of: he grew up in thavnair, his family were fishers who made him learn to fish even though he preferred fighting things, he attempted to fish by just jumping in the water and wrestling fish, and then a giant fish kicked his ass so hard he left home on a journey to grow into a better fighter so he could come back and get revenge (he never did. he got thancred to beat up the fish for him and now it lives in an aquarium in his house)

but I was thinking of elpis and the wol being told to relate the whole story from the beginning to the elpis squad and like...this boy cannot stay focused on a long story like that, he doesn't have a single braincell, if you tell him to relate the story from the beginning he's gonna go way too far back and spend half an hour complaining about the fish that beat him up back home

and there's hythlodaeus in the corner quietly making notes about this fascinating fish. notes he will find in his pocket after he returns home and turn into a concept leading to the creation of the fish ancestor of the wol's nemesis. the circle of stupidity is complete

other things that probably happened in elpis:

1) the wol almost definitely made some vague comment to hermes that hermes then recalled later as he looked down at meteion and inspired his decision to destroy the world. the comment would have been something you'd expect to find on one of those awful motivational posters that has some trite phrase over a stock photo of the ocean

2) the wol asked venat "have you ever wondered what the ancients really are?" (he probably read a conspiracy theory on tumblr) but he had a brain slip (without the brain part) and said "have you ever sundered what the ancients really are?" and venat was like hmmm while taking notes

3) wol told emet he looked "out of shape" and "not at 110%" in the future and offered to teach him his exercise routine. this would have happened in the middle of him relating how emet was going to have everyone he knew die and then murder millions of people. hyth prevented another murder from taking place but also took notes on the exercise routine and later built a home gym based on them. azem used it regularly. emet threatened to divorce both of them. soon after, emet unmade azem's favorite barbell in a fit of pettiness leading to them squabbling, a fight which started out serious and then drifted into more mundane topics like should we summon zodiark. azem took his gym and left

4) grani bit the wol. this didn't have any far-reaching consequences but it made him sad and he wants you to know

the legend himself:

[amuseoffyre]

I’m in the early 20s of Fairy and Devil and I’m dying. Squad forgot to pack a single braincell for their trip 🤣 At least Shangeque has the excuse of being an adorable himbo.

[papaziggy-devblog]

Im looking at Gavin in the most PLATONIC WAY possible. He looks like a perfect wingman/bestfriend/same 1 braincell squad. Im gonna cry T_T He's so precious. Im gonna fight Harper if something fire-y happens to Gavin 😭😭😭

Gavin confirmed a huge heckin dweeb cause he always insists you use the single braincell u.u

[ladylovesalatte]

I was thinking of the sk8 x bsd thing (again) earlier, imagine kouyou and Chuuya coming to visit cherry, and everyone besides joe is like “who are these people??” And it’s like, this gorgeous badass women with a sword and a demon and her son(brother?) who can manipulate fucking gravity. How would they even react to that?

oh I am SO glad you asked bc I have Thoughts - I'm assuming this is going to take place circa episode 5 once the Sk8 fam has kinda consolidated:

Shadow: First things first, he sees Kouyou's red eyeliner and immediately decides he wants it for his own. He thinks he should be an honorary member of the family because he has orange hair and he owns up to his aesthetic to Kouyou and Chuuya levels. At first he's terrified of Golden Demon (GD) to the point that he faints but once he revives they bond over flowers. GD joins the Shadow defense squad bc she thinks he's a dumb himbo but he would take good care of and adore Kyouka when he eventually meets her.

Miya: Is originally afraid of Kouyou and on first sight thinks Chuuya is thee coolest person ever. Highkey hid behind Joe when Golden Demon appeared (which wasn't the best choice because GD has it out for her brother-in-law). The closer GD got, Miya's survival instincts kicked in and he went into Miyao (Meow) mode (shown below). GD, Kouyou, and Chuuya took one look at him and the adoption papers were signed within 0.1 sec. He follows Chuuya around like a baby duck and they talk, and that's when Chuuya finds out about Adam. In fact, everyone finds out bc Chuuya gets so angry a crater is blown into poor Joe's restaurant's floor. He immediately flies out the door, only to return about 20 minutes later with some suspicious red stains on his gloves and a simple "oh I was taking out the trash". Kouyou pats them both on the head and resolves to pay her own visit later on.

Reki: Our resident disaster bi is overwhelmed and intimidated by Kouyou's ethereal presence to the point that he freezes. However, this is overriden by geek-mode the moment he catches sight of Kouyou's sword. Eyes shining, he looks up to her and interrogates her for 3 whole hours about various sharp objects and absolutely monopolizes her time. Kouyou is reminded of a younger-Chuuya who once did the same thing. GD hovers around them watchfully, occasionally taking out her own sword to show Reki. Chuuya shows him his knife-juggling with gravity manipulation trick and he's delighted. Another set of adoption papers are signed.

Langa: Once you experience Adam's presence, it's a little hard to be shocked by things. As such, Langa doesn't react too strongly to Kouyou's and Chuuya's presence. His single braincell does take a moment to question why Chuuya can control gravity and where GD is coming from, but the thought eventually passes, he shrugs, and moves on. He sticks next to Reki at first, listening to the conversations around and laughing at GD chasing Joe in the background. This no-thoughts-head-empty state disappears when he hears Chuuya talking to Miya about how he knows French. The Canadian part of him emerges, excited to speak in another familiar language with someone who can understand him. One "bonjour" later, another set of adoption papers is signed.

Later on...

Chuuya buys the trio chokers so they can match him: Reki gets a set of colorful thick ones, Miya gets a cat shaped one, and Langa gets one black and one white one.

Kouyou teaches Reki about tea ceremonies. She finds the boy has remarkably steady and dependable hands, and he makes very good tea.

Chuuya takes the trio out for sk8 "practice" which often consists of him using gravity manipulation to help them learn tricks or get more air. Kouyou and Cherry accompany them, but they simply watch elegantly from beneath a red umbrella.

Kouyou becomes a regular patron of Shadow's flower shop. GD comes out when the manager isn't looking. The demon has wonderful taste in blossoms.

The Port Mafia is given strict instructions to protect the trio from Adam. If he deigns to get within 500 meters of any of them, he would be made to disappear. Kouyou delivers the news to him herself, along with a haircut courtesy of GD.

Chuuya thinks skating feels similar to flying-by-gravity-manipulation, so he takes up the sport seriously too (without help from his ability ofc). Dazai tries to get his S-name to be Slug, but it doesn't catch on.

Chuuya can bake and he and Joe have similar taste in wines so they actually get along well (except for when Cherry is in the room and all bets are off bc Chuuya is a loyal brother/son). He learns how to make many healthy desserts to assuage Miya's sweet tooth.

I have so many more thoughts but this is already long, so I'll add more to another post later!! Thanks for the ask bff <3

[lucentaire]

evergreen & the lightning squad

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: while I think they all do it (and it might have take Freed a bit to get used to this 'improper' behaviour), Laxus is probably the worst offender. Why? Because I imagine he needs every single calorie he can get his little lightning hands on---it just seems like a magic that requires a lot of energy.

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: the family vibes are too strong for anyone with more than two braincells to think it is a dating siuation.

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: they are all in jail together, trying to get Laxus to call someone who can get them out. Which is probably going to be Master Bob, nowadays.

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: see, I think Laxus gets asked. I don't necessarily think he has much more experience than the others, but it is funny for most people involved.

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: three out of four people in this group use Eye Magic. I think if anyone went for eyes, the mood would drop majorly. Tickling is okay, however.

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: Rena, she is not going to miss out on an oppportunity to be the tallest.

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: I think Bix starts them, but I think Freed might win---by enforcing 'rules'

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: I think this one goes to Bix again.

[p5x-theories]

I know we'd never see it but I wanna imagine while the PTs and the Wonder Squad are doing thief stuff Futaba and Okyann are just messaging back and forth like "Girl you see the shit they're doing?" "I know. Not a single braincell detected." Just let the Navigators roast their teams together

Okay first off- Wonder Squad is another great nickname for them (simple, but very effective, and could easily be read with a slight mocking tone that fits what you're saying about the navigators), haha, totally adding that to the collection.

Anyway, back to your actual ask- You are SO correct. I'd like to think that's what happens in the PQ games as well, actually. I think all the navigators should be able to get together to make fun of their teams while the rest of their teammates are out there getting lost and dying. They deserve it.

... Actually, now that I'm really thinking about Oracle and Okyann interactions, I feel like with Futaba's love of tech and introverted personality, vs. Okyann's evident love of outdated tech and (apparent) extroverted personality, they probably wouldn't get along at first? But considering they're on the same team ultimately (... sort of), and they're both navigators, I do think they'd get along eventually, both to the shock of everyone else and to the detriment of their enemies, haha. This is a little more of a shot in the dark since we don't know Okyann that well yet really, but I think Futaba and Okyann would probably encourage each other's more mischievous inclinations, and also Futaba would absolutely come up with the wildest light shows and phone upgrades (that keep the aesthetic) for Okyann, while I think Okyann would probably encourage Futaba's real-world personal sense of fashion to be weirder and more unique (and more in line with her interests and thief aesthetic, perhaps). In other words, I think they'd be good for each other after an initial adjustment period, hehe!

[shytastemakerthing]

hello !! i saw that you're taking request so can i please make a romantic twst request ??

for my personality, i have a kinda hyper and loud personality and can be a little too clingy. i love just vibing and talking random things with people im close to so i really appreciate people who can listen to me talk their ears off. mostly bc i dont like being too alone so i always try to have fun in ways that i know. i have rbf and also has short-temper so other people may not approach me that much but its easy for me to get along with people when i actually talk to them !!

in terms of romantic stuff, i like teasing-flirting with other people but may tend to back away when those romantic gestures are reciprocated. i also dont like confrontations that much so i tend to ghost people when it happens (its a bad trait im sorri) but yeah, i like people who can keep up with my energy or atleast doesnt mind me being randomly hyper :33

i also like to draw and looooves making plans/events/surprises for my friends' birthday !!

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I certainly hope that you like it!😊

Runner ups for this match up include, Deuce, Epel, and, Ruggie!

I match you with.......

Ace Trappola

• Another teasing flirt! In all honesty, the two of you vibe so well, it's almost insane! But that's what makes this relationship so much fun!

• You are 90% of Ace's impulse control in many situations. Either you stop him all together, or the outcome is at least a little hit less terrible than what it could have been if he had been left to his own devices.

• Deuce is a package deal with this. You're dating Ace, this means that Deuce is now a best friend of yours and may or may not help in thr shenanigans that is caused by the Saud Adeuce single braincell duo.

• The rest of the first year gang turned into the biggest hype squad for the both of you. That is all I will say on the manner. Besties for the rest of both your lives, here.

• After the relationship begins, Ace doesn't always mind your clingy nature. He also likes to rub it in everyone's face that he's dating you. Though, he still does blush from time to time when you're holding hands. He's just getting used to a long term relationship!

• Look, he loves you, but this also means he's using you as a shield whenever Riddle gets mad at him. He thinks it helps and will save him from getting collared, even if it has happened less and less since the overblot. It's about a 50/50 chance of this actually working. Chances are, if Ace is running at you, dodge, or you might end up being collared as well (not like Riddle meant to get you, you were just in the line of fire when it happened, he really is sorry.)

• At this point, he is at your dorm and room more often than he is in his own (don't want to assume you're in Ramshackle). This means that he has pairs of clothes at your dorm, spare shoes, a few blankets and pillows for sleepovers, and maybe shower essentials. You're basically non-offial roommates.

• He isn't so much of a planner, but if this is something that is very important to you and this is event needs to 100% go as planned, he will try his best, just for you. There may be a few snags here and there but you can't be mad at him when he is literally trying his best.

• Overall, Ace really does feel like he is a better person ever since he started dating you. Everyone notices it. Sure, he may get teased here and there, but seeing you at the end of it all makes it all worth it for him.