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#sirius black hurt to comfort
starstruckwillows · 1 year
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you feel right so stay a sec — sirius black ♡
requested by no one <3
sirius black x fem!reader, hurt/comfort, post hogwarts, swearing&fighting, mention of sirius’ trauma, happy ending + healing
sirius doesn’t want to confront the things preventing him from healing, but he’ll try for you or ‘hostage’ by billie eilish
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any situation with freshly washed, citrus scented bedsheets, was not supposed to be tense.
sirius could only think of the things that were not supposed to be happening.
like the tears pushing on your lower lashline that he caused, and the dent between your brows. the brief crumple that had caught your face at his scathing remark that he hadn’t meant a word of. it felt like a physical wound. he held the knife and no plaster.
“i’m not doing this with you sirius, it’s late.” you whispered, trying to sound composed and mature, but your voice held so much hurt that all sirius felt was the rough touch of regret sewing itself to his heart.
why he continued to bite like a cornered animal, he wasn’t sure. he cooly dismissed your unspoken plea for a ceasefire and turned from you.
he heard your trembling sigh, “i hope the things you can’t talk about will stop hurting you, sirius. but i love you, anyway.”
he heard your acceptance. you were moving and then you were laid down, facing the wall with a chilling distance that sent you both shivering.
you never went to sleep without saying i love you. sirius knew you were waiting for his reply, however it may have sounded, but he couldn’t bring himself to give you one. not because it wasn’t true. merlin, it was true, more than you’d ever know. but the words, they were sticking all wrong.
i love you, i’m sorry, i need you, i want you, you’re right. all true. all silent.
this was relatively new for sirius. usually, when he wanted to break down, he wanted to be alone. a state he feared most of the time, all of the time, but simultaneously sought out. comforting. awful.
alone with you. that was something else, fresh. the safety in isolation, without the terrifying loneliness that pierced his heart. you were safe.
and he’d attacked you, like his house had attacked him. there was a tautness in your relationship that he’d just caused with his volatile comments, and it made him sick.
tentatively, with all the gentleness of someone softer than sirius black, he reached for your arm. the skin there was cold.
“can i?”
you were tense. cautious. but you permitted his touch.
with his girl now close to his chest, your hair spread across it, he wanted to feel better, wanted you to feel better.
“i’m sorry.”
you closed your eyes, “i know, my love.”
the apology wasn’t empty, but it didn’t promise change, sirius could feel that. he tried again, “i’m going to be better. for you.”
“not me, sirius. you’re going to be better, for you.”
he wasn’t sure, but he agreed. he craved your peace now.
“can you look at me? if you want.”
you twisted in his loosening hold so your head was resting in the divot of his neck and shoulder. this was your peace too, in the midst of his tempest.
sirius bent to rest his chin nearer your face, letting his eyelids sink as you pressed a feathery kiss to the dark lines of the tattoo marking his throat.
hope — safety. when had he started to feel those things again? the first time he held you, the first time you kissed? or even earlier, when you locked eyes and sirius felt a pull of his soul to yours.
“i love you.” it was thick, honey, weak, rough. it was sirius black and he was yours.
“i love you too, sirius. you know i’m staying.” your voice low with sleep as you curled your hand into the fake-gold chain he wore. a gift from james.
he breathed unevenly for a moment, lungs stuttered by your pure sincerity, and the true realisation that your promises were to be kept, “yeah. i know.”
you feel right to me.
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🏷️ — @faeriieblush @poppet05 @ariyabella @it-be-me-ella @goodoldfashionedluvergirl @sw34terw34ther @ell0ra-br3kk3r @meredarling
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strawberrysodaslut · 2 years
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Worth the Risk Pt 2. - Sirius Black x Reader
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[ masterlist ] [ taglist ] [ part 1 ]
word count: 5.2k
Summary: “Following your breakup with Sirius, you look back on what lead you to dating him. When you find yourself again, you also find the truth.”
warnings: angst, hurt to comfort, mention of depression, mention of starving, throwing up, break ups, alchohol, mentions of abuse, threats, mentions of blood, violence, reader shows trust issues
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The heartache that you experienced after that night with Sirius could only be described as immeasurable. You only left your dorm for classes- but you weren’t really going to them anymore. Lily would make sure to get food for you in the great hall, but you always ate less than she brought, sometimes even throwing it up.
Obviously, your friends assume your anger and despair stem from what Sirius said to you. Of course, it did, partly. But you were mainly angry at yourself for not seeing this coming, for being surprised that a Black would ever take interest in a muggle-born.
You remember when you first got your letter to Hogwarts, your mother was so confused she turned to an old friend- Clara, who seemed well versed in the mystical world. It was a cold, Sunday afternoon when she took you to visit her.
Clara started laughing and clapping when she found out you shared her magical abilities. Saying that she always had a feeling, but never wanted to mention anything to protect her own secret. The rest of the visit was spent on your mother asking questions about what life was going to be like for you, how different it would be from her own experience.
You started going to her house every Monday, Wednesday and Friday after school to catch up on what the other students at Hogwarts would’ve learned from their parents. You quickly became confident in several spells, acing a levitation spell you apparently learn in your first year.
“So now you’ll be able to show off to the other kids, they’ll be so impressed by you,” Clara whispered, trying to keep your mind focused on the spell while encouraging you.
She wasn’t sure how to approach blood superiority to you, afraid of accidentally making you feel inferior because other people think you so. But when you ask about what the difference is between muggle-borns and people born from magical parents, she decided it was best to explain it to you instead of leaving you to find out the hard way.
She started off by ensuring you that muggle-borns are in no way less witch than “purebloods” she says with quotation marks. Telling you that many muggle-horns actually have stronger control of their magic than those with a magical bloodline.
Then she explained to you the people who didn’t agree with that statement, how it was almost always the people without a drop of muggle blood in them. The Black family got brought up multiple times during her explanation, telling you the lengths they would go through to keep their blood “pure”, accidentally telling you where babies come from in the process.
But the night before you were to leave for Hogwarts, Clara had a pit in her stomach about the black family, knowing they had a child your age. God, what would he do to you? She was almost sure he was a year younger than you- or maybe a year older. She went to check, looking up the family tree they had so proudly displayed. To her dismay she discovered he would be in your year, learning alongside you.
This led to her calling your mother, begging her to tell you to stay away from Sirius Black no matter what I do. Of course, you agreed, already planning on ignoring that family if you ever got the misfortune of meeting them.
After all the practising and training you had done, you walked onto the Hogwarts Express feeling prepared, confident even. Excited to meet more magical people, learn what they know and even teach some of the muggle-borns things that you learnt.
You opened a carriage to find two boys, one with dark, long, straight hair and pale skin and the other with curly, dark hair with a pair of glasses resting on his nose. They looked about your age, maybe they were first-years too!
“Is this carriage taken?” You ask, looking between the two boys. They scrambled to move their stuff, repeatedly assuring you that it was fine.
“It’s nice to meet you both.” You say, telling them your name.
“Same here, I’m James… Potter- James Potter.” The curly-haired boy replied, pushing his glasses back up his nose.
“I’m S-“
He was interrupted by an oldish looking lady, “Anything from the trolley dears?” She asked.
James shot up, asking for a numerous amount of sweets that you had never heard of, surprised to see some of them moving.
The raven-haired boy grabbed a few snacks, but not nearly as much as James. Once he received his items he looked up and gave you a grin, waiting to see what you’d want. You stared at all the different foods, just left completely confused.
You looked up at the lady, she had the kindest eyes. “I don’t know what any of this stuff is…” you whispered, somehow anxious for your compartment buddies to hear you after they effortlessly picked out their food.
“That’s alright dear, what kind of treats do you normally have at home? What’s your favourite?” The lady said with a grin, patting you on the shoulder.
You smiled, “I really like chocolate, and raspberry flavoured stuff…also I love pumpkin” the lady tsked, nodded at you and then handed you a pastry looking thing, a little box and a small bag of raspberry jelly wands.
You go to grab your wallet, the wizarding currency you recently got tucked inside, before the kind lady interrupted you.
“I think we’ll give you a 100% off discount this time okay honey?” She said, beaming up at you.
You thanked her and sat back down with the boys, you were expecting them to ask why you didn’t know what the food was, but all they wanted to know was how you got the goodies for free.
James practically started worshipping you like a god, whereas the raven-haired boy was just telling you the stuff you should’ve ordered to try next time.
“They’re every flavour?” You asked, shocked at the concept. “How do they do that?”
The boys look stumped, they genuinely had no idea how they knew they had all of the flavours. “…magic,” James said, popping one in his mouth before spitting it on the floor. He looked up at you before smiling, “Dog poop.” He said, making you scrunch up your nose, disgusted at the idea of tasting that.
After a lot of talking, you realised that the pale boy sitting next to you hadn’t even told you his name yet. “I completely forgot that the trolley lady had interrupted you saying your name, I’m so sorry what was it?” You asked.
The raven-haired boy smiled, relieved you realised and he didn’t have to bring it up himself. “I’m Sirius- Sirius Black.”
You swore the train stopped at his words.
It was unbelievable, the one person you were meant to stay away from in the entire school ended up being half of the people you’ve met in your first hour.
Sirius noticed your change in demeanour, he wasn’t unfamiliar with that reaction, many wizards were disgusted by his family. But he was sure you were muggle-born… how could you know what his family was like? Maybe you just don’t like the name Sirius.
“I know it’s a little ‘Sirius’ for my taste,” he tries to kid, noticing the small smirk being erased from your face quicker than it arrived.
James was completely oblivious to your reaction, focusing on catching the chocolate toad that had gotten loose in the compartment.
Your heartbeat quickened, his face showed concern, but was it real? No- surely not. His family is just, horrible. You need to get out of this carriage.
“I-I’m gonna… I’m gonna go get changed and maybe check out other compartments, see if I can meet more people. W-we can catch up later okay?” You said, looking at James who just looked at you and nodded, groaning when the toad escaped through the door when you opened it.
You didn’t find another compartment, they were all full aside from the one you had been avidly avoiding. You spent the rest of the train ride in a bathroom, hoping no one would come knocking.
The castle was more beautiful than you could’ve possibly imagined. The welcoming, enchanting energy spreads all over you as you walk with the other first years.
After a short tour, you are taken into the great hall for sorting. With Black starting with a ‘B’, Sirius was one of the first people sorted. Clara told you the blacks always got sorted into Slytherin, always. So you weren’t prepared when the hat went in a different direction.
“Gryffindor!” He boasted against the room. Leading to both cheers and gasps. The people sitting with Slytherin clearly.
You stood there in shock, that was the one Clara said you were probably going to get sorted into. Your hands grew sweaty as you
It’s fine, she could still stay away from Sirius Black. All she had to do was not get into-
“Gryffindor!” The sorting hat yelled before you could even feel the weight of him on your head.
Shit.
-
Although Sirius was in your class, you managed to keep away from him for the first six years at Hogwarts. You had started to wonder if he really believed in his family's ways, being seen hanging out with muggle-borns and one of the members of his little group being a half-blood himself.
You still found him quite cruel, often glaring at them when they would taunt Severus, a Slytherin student in your year. You didn’t speak to him, but it stung seeing how distraught he would get. Sure, sometimes Severus would egg them on, but you still found their bullying difficult to watch.
It was equally as nauseating to see his attempts at “seducing” the upperclassmen. Most wouldn’t oblige, at first.
But as the years passed, you would often walk into the common room to find him making out with someone- always a different person, every time- while the other three nitwits giggled in the corner.
Still, you kept your distance, out of fear and embarrassment. Somehow you never got put together in any group projects even though you were in the same class. Until the last potions assessment of the year.
You spent the next three hours working in near silence aside from questions about the work. Although the last thing you wanted was conversation with Sirius, you were confused about why he wouldn't try to get on your nerves.
You heard all the stories from the people who were partnered with Sirius, if he didn't like them he'd do anything he could to piss them off, if he did he'd get them in an empty stairwell by the second study session. But he wasn't doing either to you, he was just leaving you alone. Why?
The truth was, Sirius knew you didn't like him, and not in a "thinks he's a menace, hot but still a menace" you straight up ignored him, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't figure out why. What did he do to you to make you so upset with him?
He tried to make you like him- like he really tried. Every time a prank was pulled he'd try and find your face to see if you smiled, but you never did. Nor did you ever look at him.
In third year he watched you try to clean up your messed up robes from a prank that went slightly wrong, you were crying. Badly crying.
You’d never learnt the spell to fix ripped clothing and your parents couldn’t afford a whole new uniform. So you spent the next month in detention for “improper uniform” until McGonagall realised the issue and fixed them for you.
He felt such a pang in his heart, he stopped trying to catch your eye and decided to just leave you alone. If he saw you were in a hallway of a prank, he'd organise a 'malfunction' until you were out of the blast zone.
Remus, James and Peter were quick to notice this, and after hours of teasing, they agreed to not pull any pranks on you.
On your way to your third study session, you noticed Sirius walking the opposite way to the library, turning into the prefect's bathroom. You scoffed, assuming he was following some seventh year for a hookup. As much as you didn't want to witness anything, you weren't about to get a bad grade because Sirius Black can't keep it in his pants.
You pull open the unlocked doors to the prefect's bathroom, to find him sitting on the sink counter, alone and... bloody? Why was he bleeding?
He turns to look at you, sending you a soft smile, "Might have to miss this study session if you don't mind doll,"
"What the fuck happened to you?" You said, dropping your books and rushing over to him, trying to see where all the blood was coming from.
"Snape finally stopped being a wimp- ah-" he winced, trying to sit up straight, "used some spell on me, fucking hell."
You search his body, there are dozens of different cuts littered across his face, deep cuts. Seeing the formerly white shirt now pure red, you tug at it, trying to take it off.
You look up at him, wanting permission before undoing his buttons, he sends you a smirk and raises his eyebrows. God, he thinks this is fucking funny.
"Shut up." You mutter, pulling on the shirt so hard the buttons ripped.
"Didn't say anything, maybe you're projecting darling." He tried to act flirty, but the pain just made it kind of sad.
You didnt notice though, your attention stolen by the cuts that seemed to be forming on their own across his chest. "I knew Snape was good at spells but Jesus Christ," you whisper.
Slowly, you trace the few parts of his abdomen that weren't bloody- purposely ignoring the way his muscles flex every place you touch, it's just pain. "We've got to get you Madam Pomfrey, she'll fix you up."
"Yeah, do you think I'm gonna survive that trip? Just- can you just fix the cuts?" He asked, gesturing to your wand.
"No, I can't. Look, just..." You stop to think before pulling off your robe, Sirius's eyes nearly pop out of his head when he sees you unbuttoning your shirt, exposing your bra.
"What... what are you doing?" He says, smirking a little- but mostly confused.
You rolled your eyes, realising what he must be thinking, "I'm gonna wrap these around you to get you to the medical ward."
-
Nothing could explain why you stayed in the medical ward.
It wasn’t that you cared about him, you really didn’t. But come on, anyone would stay for someone beaten down that bad.
After four hours and a lot of questions from the other three marauders, he was finally ready to be seen.
You let the boys go in first, they’re his friends. But Remus comes out of the infirmary after only 5 minutes.
“He wants to see you,” he says, “also he’s surprised that you’re still here.”
You laugh, entering the ward. Peter is staring at you with wide eyes while James is nudging Sirius with his elbow.
As you make your way over the boys get up and leave, James sending you a wink as they walk out.
“Hey,” you say, sitting in an empty chair. “You gave me quite the scare.”
Sirius smiles at you. moving to sit upright, “Oh no need to worry about me, I’ll be up and ready to assert my revenge on Snivellus any day now.” He says, brushing his hand through his hair.
You wince, “When are guys gonna leave him alone? I’m sorry you’re hurt, but if you gave me the shit you give him, you wouldn’t be alive to retaliate.”
Sirius rolls his eyes, "Come on, the prick deserves it.” He says, nudging your arm.
You sit up, “What did he do? What could he have possibly done to deserve this cruelty?”
“Y'know Lily? The girl James has been trying to ask out since forever?” You nod, not only knowing who Lily was but knowing the efforts James was going to to get her to date him. “He called her- uh- that word...“ he sighs, “He called her a mudblood”
You didn’t know that.
“Oh.” You say.
Sirius nods, “Yep.”
-
You drop your notebook on Sirius’s lap, making note that none of the other marauders are in the common room.
“What's this then?” He asks.
You open the book to the page you want, “It's a list of charms I think would help you with…Snivellus...”
He grabs the book from you, looking through the numerous pages of different spells to prank
Sirius looked over a specific spell, he had no idea where you found it. “I've never heard of this one.”
You shrug “Oh yeah, I kind of came up with it… it should still work fine though," You say, explaining the different uses for the spell.
Sirius looks at you with wide eyes, "You wrote this shit yourself?" You nodded, "Damn, you're gonna be useful"
Now it was your turn to roll your eyes, "Don't be stupid, this is just this once. I'm not gonna join you in terrorising the school." You say, taking back your notebook.
Sirius doesn’t try and get the notebook back, watching you leave with a smile on his face. "Yeah, we'll see."
-
It took months for Sirius to finally ask you out. No matter how much the boys tried to convince him you felt the same, he truly believed you said no.
So when you said yes, he was confused. But you weren’t, for the first time in your life, you felt sure.
He was the perfect boyfriend.
Every weekend he would take you to Hogsmeade for date night, showering you in flowers and kisses.
When you told him you wanted to wait to have sex, you were terrified. Well aware of his reputation, so you expected he’d dump you and find someone new.
Instead, he peppered kisses across your face, assuring you that it didn’t matter to him. All that mattered was that he got to be with you.
You still had your doubts, fearing that eventually he’d get bored and being with you wouldn’t be enough. But as the months passed into a year, that fear had completely gone.
He constantly told you how much he hated his family, terrified that you’d think he agreed with them. Although you used to think so, he had thoroughly explained to you the extremes he had gone to and through to keep away from that part of his family. Including living with James.
You cursed yourself for not meeting him earlier, not giving him the benefit of the doubt. He wasn’t anything like the cruel, blood supremacist, chauvinistic bully you’d built up in your head. He was amazing.
That’s why you were so surprised when he dumped you.
Lily was furious. The second you told her what Sirius said, she banged down the marauder's door to yell at him.
“I get why you had to break up with her, but to do it like that?“ She yelled, “How could you say those things to her?“ 
No matter how much Sirius tried to explain to Lily why he said what he did. She couldn’t understand, continuing to yell at him.
James trying to defend Sirius was the final straw, she dumped James, cursed out Sirius for the last time and stormed out of their room.
After two months, you finally felt ready to face the world again. And where’s a better place to say, “yeah I’ve been heartbroken for two months because of you but I’m even hotter now and look at what your missing.” than the Gryffindor party after winning the Quidditch game against Slytherin.
You were wearing your best dress, Dorcas and Mary did your makeup, the two of them arguably better than you could ever do and you borrowed some of Lily's jewellery.
To put it short, you were ready to show up.
Sirius was sitting with James, listening to all the cheers and compliments the other students were giving them when you walked in, as radiant as ever. Fuck, who was he kidding, you looked better than he had ever seen you.
The past two months had been torture for him. He watched the door of every class the two of you shared begging for you to walk in with that magic smile on your face. But you didn't, for weeks.
He spent every meal wallowed in sadness as he saw Lily grab your favourite foods to take to you. Absorbing every glare she sent him.
Lily was still talking to Remus and she told him all about how sad you were, how you felt too exhausted to get up to go to class, how no matter what food she brought you never finished it. He tried to keep it to himself, but Sirius and James pestered him about it so much.
So then he started to try to make you feel better, he went to the kitchen at the beginning of the day, begging them to make extra of your favourites so you'd hopefully eat more. Then return at the end of the day to see how much Lily gave back. He felt such warmth in his chest the times he saw that you ate most of the food.
He still had the letter, he kept it in the drawer of his bedside table and read it every day. 'It's a reminder,' he thought 'a reminder of why he's doing this.'
So when he saw you at the party, he was surprised. Not that you looked good- you always look good, but that you wore that smile. That damned smile, it could light up anyone's day. Well, anyone who didn't cause that smile to disappear for months.
Sirius tried to keep his eyes off of you for the party, and you did likewise. Only shooting small glances when you were near each other.
To compensate for not getting to talk to you, Sirius drank, a lot. So much he barely noticed you talking to that Hufflepuff guy, dancing with him, kissing hi- kissing him?
His heart dropped, he just wanted to get another drink when he saw the two of you. He ran to Lily, pulling her aside.
"How much has she had to drink?" He asks
She rolls her eyes, "It's none of your business Sirius, leave me alone"
He stopped her from walking away, instead of dragging Lily to the sight of you making out with that guy.
He has all of these thoughts rushing past him. Was that guy taking advantage of you? Surely that wasn't his call to make, he doesn't know your state of mind. Lily knows though, Lily would be able to give him permission to pummel his sorry ass into-
"Oh, that's Marcus." She said, smiling at the scene in front of her.
What does she mean Marcus? Who is Marcus? Why does Marcus get to kiss you?
Lily continues, "He's in Hufflepuff, our year, nice guy. He got paired with her for Potions but she was so de- unwell, so he finished it all himself. Didn't even tell her, she didn't know until she got full marks for the project." She explained.
Even when the two of you left, Sirius stayed. James had to drag him up the stairs to the dorm.
You'd moved on, you were over him. Of course, you were, that's what he wanted right? You had to move on. You wouldn't be safe if you hadn't.
-
The next few months were the worst of his life. He had to watch you with him, in class, at meals, in the common room. You looked so happy.
And you were, Marcus was perfect. He went out of his way to treat you so well, especially after he heard how Sirius dumped you. It took a lot to stop him from banging down the marauders' door and beating Sirius to a bloody pulp.
He took you everywhere, got you everything, listened to everything you had to say, talked about everything you loved. He was the perfect guy.
But there was this twinge, it was barely there. Really, it didn't matter. But from time to time you thought about Sirius, more than that, you missed him.
You cursed yourself for feeling so, but every time Marcus took you to Honeydukes, all you could think about was the times Sirius took you there. Every time Marcus told you a joke that Sirius already did, you couldn't help but wonder if you laughed less because you'd heard it before, or that Sirius was funnier. When Marcus told you he loved you, you wondered why you were happier when Sirius did.
It was horrible, Marcus was wonderful. But so was Sirius until the end. What would stop Marcus from doing the same? What if he was just leading you on just to leave you like Sirius did?
That’s what you claimed when your friends asked why you broke up with him. It was a fair question, everything seemed perfect, even the breakup was smooth. But you couldn’t tell them the real reason.
The truth was, even though he called you that terrible words. Said those horrible things, treated you like a rag that can be hung out to dry, you still loved him. So much.
-
One day, you saw Remus reading one of his books. On a whim, you decided to sit next to him and ask him the question that had plagued you for months.
"Hey Remus," You said, sitting next to him.
He said hello back, you talked for a bit about the book he was reading when you finally decided to ask. "How's Sirius doing?"
You at least partly knew the answer. While you tried your best to ignore him, you couldn't help it. You didn't know why, but he was sad. Really sad. Whenever he smiled, the light never reached his eyes. His mind always seemed somewhere else.
He was like this a bit with you, but you were able to slowly coax him out of it. Out of his own head. But no one seemed to do that. He looked trapped there, for months.
"Yeah, he's fine," Remus said, his eyes no longer meeting yours.
You grab his chin, lifting them to match your glance. "Remus, we both know that's not true. What's going on with him? Is it his parents?" You ask, believing you know how much his family caused him. You had no idea.
Remus winced, "They're a part of it." He said, struggling to come up with the right words. "Look, if you wanna know what's wrong with him, have you thought about talking to him?"
You roll your eyes slightly, "Look I'm worried about him, I'm not looking to be buddies with him. Especially after what he said to me." You said, feeling a twinge of those feelings you felt the night that you broke up.
Remus had been fighting with himself- and Sirius for months. Arguing that regardless of whether you were together or not, you deserved to know the threats that were made against you. That what Sirius said wasn't true, that it was all to protect you.
So when he saw the look in your eye when you said those words, he couldn't take it anymore.
"There's something you don't know." He said, the argument of breaking Sirius's trust still strong in his mind.
You looked up at him, "What is it?"
He got up, walking upstairs to the marauder's dorm. When he came back, he had a letter. Remus handed it to you, whispering "I'm sorry," and sat, waiting for you to read.
“ Dear Sirius,
Your father and I have recently discovered the news that you are in a courtship with a muggle family’s youngest daughter.
I cannot believe you would ever go to such lengths to upset your family. To allow a filthy, disgusting, mudblood to be associated with the black family name is a worse betrayal than you have ever committed against us.
I have asked Narcissa and Bellatrix to contact me if you are seen being intimate with the half-breed again. If I am, there will be beyond serious consequences for both of you.
Much love, Mother. “
Your eyes filled with tears, "How could he hide this from me?" You asked.
Remus scoots towards you and rubs your back. "To protect you."
Deep down, you knew the answer to what you were about to ask. "When did she send this to him?"
Remus sighed, knowing this was going to be the best or the worst thing he's ever done, "A few days before he broke up with you."
You couldn't do this, you had to get out.
You ran until you couldn't anymore. You found yourself in the astronomy tower, but you weren't alone.
The raven hair boy turned around at the sound of your crying. He should've run away, left you alone. But he couldn't.
"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" He asked, bringing you into his arms. But you kept crying. Assuming you were having a panic attack, he tried to use all the techniques he used to do to calm you down, but they only seemed to make your hyperventilating worse.
He whispered reassuring words to you until your sobs were finally coherent. "You. lied to me." You pushed at his chest, not nearly hard enough to push him away.
"What?" He asked, unsure about what he meant.
You sobbed, "The letter, I saw the letter."
His heart dropped. You knew, you knew everything. God, as much as he tried to stop himself, he waited for this moment. To clear his name in your eyes.
His eyes filled with tears, now mixing his heavy breaths with your cries. "I'm sorry, fuck I'm so sorry baby." He whispered into your hair, scolding himself for slipping into the habit.
You didn't even notice. "You promised me," a sniffle escaped, "You promised me w-we would work on these things together. How could you make a decision like that for me?" You said, voice muffled as you press his face in his sweatshirt.
He gripped your chin as soft as he could, lifting your head to look up at him. "If-if..." He choked back sobs of his own, "If her threats were true, and they always are. God, I don't know what would've happened to you. She might've even killed you."
Your eyes widened, "She wouldn't"
He kissed your forehead, "She would, and even if she didn't, how could I live with myself if I knew that I was putting your life at risk."
You sniffled, now pulling his face down for him to look at you, "Don't you get it, Sirius, you're worth the risk." You pushed your lips into his.
God, he'd be stupid if he tried to convince anyone he didn't kiss back. Your lips felt like heaven, how much of an idiot did he have to be to leave this. His grip on you was so strong, like he'd lose you forever if he dared let go.
You weren't sure what would happen, what hurt you'd face. But you knew one thing for certain.
You were never letting Sirius Black go again.
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ellecdc · 2 months
Note
PART 2 PLSSSSSSSSSSS
I need the comfort
ok ok ok ok ok mother's here - I've fixed it for you. Don't say I never did anything for ya 😉
part two of Mistake: poly!wolfstar x fem!reader
CW: angst, hurt and COMFORT read part one here
Remus felt like he’d just been slapped. In fact, he was sure that if he looked in a mirror, he would see a red welt in the shape of your hand across his cheek. 
Lupin?
You haven’t called him that since...well since you started dating. As a matter of fact, he can’t remember the last time you referred to him in any way other than some sickly-sweet pet name that he pretended embarrassed him, but he secretly preened at. 
I’ll see you around.
What the hell did that mean? What just happened?
He felt stuck...perhaps he should go after you? But you told him to go check on Sirius: make sure he’s okay for me, yeah? And he meant what he had said – the three of you would be back to normal in no time. They’d catch up with you tomorrow.
Remus tried to replay every interaction you had tonight. You had asked how their days were...he replied and asked how yours was. Should he have asked you first?
He should have asked you first.
You tried making conversation, but Remus was so hyper focused on Sirius’ mood – afraid that he’d do or say something out of pocket that would hurt your feelings – that each attempt sort of fell flat. Remus had been there before – he’s witnessed Sirius’ tendency to self-sabotage and ruin a good thing once he finally has it, and he didn’t want that to happen again. Not with you.
He knew what Sirius really needed was some quiet; a chance to ponder and lament angrily inside his own head without outside influence.
Maybe they should have cancelled – rescheduled your study date for another time. Clearly his effort to protect you from any negativity was in vain.  
But it was just a bad day, a blip, a one-off. You would all get some good sleep tonight and reconvene tomorrow.
Right?
Maybe he should have followed you.
But by the time he could manage to pry his feet from the floor of the library that he felt cemented to, you were gone. 
He would just have to talk it out with you tomorrow.
Remus entered his dorm to find Peter already asleep on his bed, James finishing the Transfiguration essay that was due tomorrow morning on his own bed, and both Remus and Sirius’ beds empty. 
“Pads around?” Remus asked James quietly as he began to shuck off his uniform. The quiet tone was mostly for courtesy’s sake knowing Peter could sleep through a stampede of hippogriffs.
James peered at Remus from above his glasses before nodding his head towards the bathroom door.
Sure enough, Remus found Sirius leaning against the shower stall with his eyes closed as the water cascaded around his form. 
“You almost done, love?” Remus asked gently. Sirius spooked slightly as he turned to look at Remus; his eyes were red and glossy...he had been crying.
“You didn’t stay with her?”
Remus fought the urge to grimace, to heave, to turn around and run. He opted to gently shake his head. “No, she... said she got most of what she needed to do done.”
Sirius seemed to consider that as he sighed. “Was she terribly upset? I didn’t...I didn’t mean to be an ass. I know James always says I’m quick to take it out on others – I tried really hard not to, honest. I swear it, Rem I-”
Remus began shaking his head as he moved towards Sirius. He could tell by the smell in the bathroom that Sirius had already washed his hair and there were no more suds on his body, so he turned the water off and handed Sirius a towel. 
“You were fine, Sirius. She’s – she’s fine.” He lied.
He lied. He lied to Sirius. About you.
But how could he look Sirius in the eye right now – Sirius who was currently standing naked, soaking wet, nearly hyperventilating, not over his disgusting parents but because he was afraid that he may have upset you – and tell him that between the maybe seven minutes since Sirius had left the library and now, Remus had completely mucked it all up?
The answer was: he couldn’t. He couldn’t look Sirius in the eye and admit that he may have just sabotaged your relationship.
It’s going to be fine. He tried to tell himself. We’ll fix this all tomorrow.
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You felt beyond childish, hiding in your dorm room like some toddler throwing a temper tantrum. But you had decided last night that what you really needed was space. Some breathing room. A chance to see this from a different lens. A different perspective.
And you couldn’t do that when your heart was breaking. And being around Remus and Sirius felt like that right now.
It felt heart breaking. 
And perhaps that was your answer right there. If this was causing you heart ache, why were you doing it to yourself? To them? You didn’t deserve that, and neither did they.
But it wasn’t just this you were worried about. It was more than just this relationship – it was the friendship that preceded it. It was the meshing of you into their circle of friends. You were their friend long before you were ever their girlfriend. You wouldn’t just be losing Remus and Sirius: your boyfriend’s; you’d also be losing Remus and Sirius: your friend’s.
Maybe you should have thought about that before you said yes.
Suddenly, you were a little angry: they had asked you to be their girlfriend – not the other way around! Why would they put you through all of this for, what? For...
Was it really for nothing?
“Are you coming to breakfast?” Shelby asked you quietly from the door. You shifted your head on the pillow to make eye contact with her. “No, I’ve got some things to work on. I think I’ll hang out up here today.”
She seemed to consider you, eyes squinting and mouth pursing before she offered a curt nod. “I’ll bring something back for you then.”
You smiled gratefully at her. At least you knew if you did lose Remus and Sirius, you would still have friends who cared about you. 
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Sirius spent most of his life believing he’d never be worthy of nice things. He was raised by monsters which meant he was a product of monsters; he was basically a monster.
He knew that the Black Darkness was always simmering just below the surface. It was archetypal of Black’s to explode; to lace their words with venom and strike at their victim, always aiming for the jugular. It had been Sirius’ own M.O. for his whole life. He had nearly lost everyone who ever meant anything to him on account of it. He had almost lost Moony.
Which is why it was so important to him that you never end up the latest victim of his Black Darkness. He was so afraid of disappointing you, letting you down, making you feel unloved. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to live with himself if he slipped – if he said something or did something to make you hate him. 
And it wasn’t just you he was worried about hurting; he knew if he hurt you, Remus would likely never forgive him.
Remus may have forgiven Sirius for his Darkness once; he didn’t want to risk trying for a second time. Sirius felt he’d hit his threshold for forgiveness – one more sin and he’d be on his own, surely.
So, he walked away. He tried to do it nicely – to excuse himself politely, assure you he’d be back in no time. 
But he still left.
It was cowardly. 
He needed to talk to you.
Which is why Sirius could be found that morning sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, knee bouncing frantically under the table and his body turned towards the entrance – waiting for you to make an appearance.
Except, you never came.
“Wait, Shelby just walked in without her. Where is she?” He asked despondently, turning towards Remus. 
Remus watched as Shelby and a few of your other friends sat at their usual places without you. “Come on.” He said quickly as the two of them stood and made their way over.
“Hey Shelby. Do you know where Y/N is?” Remus asked quietly, hoping his guilt didn’t permeate his tone. Unfortunately, under Shelby’s scrutinizing glance, he was sure he had been found out. 
“She’s in the dorm.” She said flatly, looking between the two boys. 
Sirius exchanged a glance with Remus before continuing. “Erm, do you...do you know why?” 
Shelby furrowed her brows “all she said was she had ‘some things to work on’ and that she’d be in the room today.”
Remus hissed under his breath and pulled Sirius aside.
“Pads, I’m sorry, but I think-”
“What is going on?” Sirius interrupted.
“Last night, I... I think Y/N was upset?”
“Upset? With me?” Sirius asked, shame worming its way through every cell in his body. 
“I don’t know. I... I don’t think so. But she...she said she’d ‘see me around’ and then called me Lupin.” 
All blood drained from Sirius’ face as he considered Remus’ words.
See him around...see him around!? What the hell did that mean? Did you not plan on seeing them again? Oh gods...you never planned on seeing them again.
“Rem...” Sirius breathed out, leaning against a pillar for support.
“I know, I don’t-”
“Good grief, what’s gotten into you two?” James commented as he walked into the Great Hall with Lily, who opted to carry on in her search for Regulus as James took in the state of his two friends.
“Well? What’s got you in such a twist?” He pressed when neither boy offered an explanation.
“It’s Y/N.” Remus admitted.
“She’s leaving us.” Sirius blurted.
“Okay, we don’t know that.” Remus conceded.
Sirius scoffed. “Well, she basically told you to go fuck yourself last night and now she’s avoiding us; what do you call that?”
“She didn’t tell me to go fuck myself!”
James groaned and rolled his eyes before grabbing Remus and Sirius’ shirts and dragging them over to the Slytherin table.
“That’s it. You guys need to talk to Regulus.” James muttered.
“Regulus?!” Sirius sputtered, looking at James incredulously. “I’m not asking my baby brother for relationship advice.”
“You’re not asking for relationship advice. You’re asking for his perspective on his own relationship.”
“Ew! That’s worse! I don’t want to hear about my baby brother’s relationship with my adoptive brother.” 
“Oh for- you are going to listen to Regulus’ perspective on what it’s like being added to a polyamorous relationship last.” James pressed, tone implying no nonsense. 
Sirius (unwillingly) and Remus (placidly) were dragged to the dark side (read: the Slytherin table) to be read their Miranda Rights have their asses handed to them by one Regulus Arcturus Black. 
“Reg, dear. I’m begging, pleading, on my hands and knees: put the poor sods out of their misery.” James said as he bodily sat Remus and Sirius on the bench across from Regulus.
Lily snickered and poked her nose into Regulus’ cheek, causing the youngest Black to blush, though the rest of his face remained stoic as he sized Sirius and Remus up.
“What have the two of you done now?” He drawled. “I can’t help but notice one third – arguably the better third - of your little trio is missing.”
Sirius scoffed, though he didn’t argue – Regulus wasn’t wrong per se; he loved Moony, but you were indeed the best of the bunch.
James cleared his throat pointedly as he shot Remus and Sirius a look.
“Right, er” Remus started awkwardly. “We seem to have, uhm. I mean to say that-”
“Why does Y/N hate us?” Sirius spat, slapping a hand over his mouth immediately afterwards as if those words had fallen from his mouth without his consent.
“Y/N? As in your girlfriend, Y/N?” Regulus asked, moving his eyes between his brother and his brother’s boyfriend.
“Yes, as in our girlfriend.” Remus muttered.
“What did you say to offend her?” James asked unhelpfully.
“Do you think if we knew that, we’d be here right now?” Sirius spat back. 
“No, I don’t think that.” Regulus answered for him. “What I think has probably happened is she’s feeling terribly insecure in your relationship and neither of you have done anything to help her.”
Well that shut Sirius up... Sirius noticed that Remus was pretty quiet too.
“Were...” Sirius asked, grimacing when he looked over at Lily and James knowing this was teetering slightly into the realm of things-he-doesn’t-really-want-to-know-about-his-brother’s-relationship-with-his-best-friend territory. But damnit, Sirius was as desperate man. And desperate times called for desperate measures. “Were you terribly insecure when you started dating...these two?” Sirius sneered the end of his sentence earning him a ‘hey!’ from Lily and a solid whack up the back of the head from James.
“Yes.” Regulus answered simply.
“Why?” Remus asked, looking desperately close to pulling out his notebook to take notes. Scratch that, Sirius watched as James swallowed a teasing remark when Remus actually pulled out a notebook to take notes. 
“It’s hard coming after. There’s a part of your brain that convinces you that you are second best; that you’ve somehow come in second place. If that’s not bad enough, then you begin spending time with two people who already have history, already have a connection, and already have a rhythm that doesn’t leave much room to pull you into the mix. And if it does pull you into the mix, you end up feeling terribly guilty for disrupting that rhythm. It’s all quite difficult.”
Sirius’ mouth hung open at Regulus’ demure tone on what sounded like a really heartbreaking situation. 
“Let me ask you this,” Regulus continued, unawares of Sirius’ inner dialogue (which consisted mostly of panicked ‘oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods). “How has your relationship – between the two of you – changed since you added a third?”
Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance before looking back at Regulus. “Uhm...not, really?”
“Not much at all.” Remus admitted more clearly.
“I see...” Regulus said, narrowing his gaze. “And how much time have each of you spent with her individually without the other present?”
Regulus got his answer in the form of awkward silence. 
“How did either of you expect your relationship to work if neither of you were willing to change the nature of yours in order to help it grow?” Regulus spat. 
“Well...” Remus started, but his sentence died when he realized there was nothing to say. 
“But...you stayed? Why?” Sirius asked his brother.
At this, Regulus’s face fell as he gave Sirius a sad smile. “Because of how we were raised, Sirius. I was so excited to be wanted, even for a moment, that I was willing to beg for scraps of whatever I could sink my claws into. She doesn’t strike me as that kind of girl.”
James and Lily looked forlorn as the latter placed her hand on Regulus’ shoulder consolingly. 
“It didn’t hurt to have the walking definition of unconditional love and the smartest, most intuitive witch I know to notice any discontent on my part.” He admitted shyly, earning him a smack of a kiss on the cheek from James.
“Gross. You guys are sickening.” Sirius muttered petulantly.
“So?” Lily interrupted what was close to becoming a squabble between the two Black brothers. “What are you guys going to do?”
Remus sported a determined expression as he looked to Sirius. “We’re going to make it right.”
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Shelby stood by her word and brought your breakfast. She also brought you lunch, and then dinner. But by the following morning, she was tired of playing the role of house elf.
“Alright, are you going to tell me why you’re avoiding Lupin and Black?” She asked plainly, plopping herself down uninvited onto your bed.
“Wha-? I’m ... I’m not avoiding them.” You lied poorly.
“Please; don’t spit on my muffin and call it frosting, Y/N. You’re obviously avoiding them.”
“I...ew?”
She groaned and fell onto her back in defeat. “Please, for all that is holy, tell me why they’ve been following me around like kicked puppies hoping I’ll take them to their master?”
You rolled your eyes and turned back to your book that you held open but had never been reading. “Yeah, I’m sure they’re real upset.” You muttered.
“That’s it.” She spat and plucked your book out of your hands, throwing it over her shoulder unceremoniously. You cringed to think about how Remus would feel seeing a book treated in such a way.
“I was reading that!”
“Don’t lie to me again.” She said, levelling you with a ‘no nonsense’ look. “Spill.”
You sighed deeply, looking toward the window to try and find the words you’d spent the last 24 hours trying to formulate. She never rushed you for your answer, giving you all the time you needed. 
“I feel insignificant.” You admitted finally.
“And?”
You turned to face her, bemusement painting your features. “What do you mean, and?”
“And... have you spoken to them about it?”
You felt a little embarrassed to admit that no, you hadn’t.
“Why not?”
And that simple question seemed to set off all the emotions (mostly frustration) that simmered beneath your surface.
“Because Shelby. Because I don’t want to have to beg for love and affection. I don’t want to have to tell people how to love me; they should just already love me. I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding in someone else’s relationship. I don’t want to have to point out that I’m here and I’m hurting. It’s mortifying. I... I think I’m just done.”
Shelby nodded in understanding before she stood from your bed. “Then you need to finish this today. No more hiding in your room being angry by yourself, and no more letting them sniff around the castle like dejected little runts. Put all three of you out of your misery.” 
It was your turn to nod as you too stood from your bed, ready to face possibly one of the most heartbreaking days of your life.
But Shelby was right; it was time. 
The worst part was that Shelby had been telling the truth; Remus and Sirius did look like kicked puppies. 
The second you had entered the Great Hall you heard a crash of knees against benches and cutlery clashing as Sirius clumsily tried to vacate his seat in record time to make it over to you.
“Y/N!” He called, as if you could have missed the racket he made just prior. 
He looked gaunt – like he hadn’t eaten or slept enough (in the only less than 48 hours) since you’d seen him last. His eyes were red and a little swollen, like he’d been rubbing at them.
You immediately felt sick with guilt; if he really was struggling with things with his family, the last thing you wanted was to add to his stress. But Sirius was looking after himself, and Remus was looking after him too; someone needed to think about you. You had to look after yourself.
Remus didn’t look much better, approaching the two of you much more slowly, hardly making eye contact with you as if you’d lash out at any moment. You had to admit that it annoyed you a little bit.
“Hi Sirius.” You offered, voice grating over the sudden tightness. “Remus.”
Some of the tension seemed to leave Remus’ shoulders as he made an effort to make eye contact with you.
“Can we talk?” He asked timidly. 
You knew what was coming, what was happening, what you yourself had come here planning to do.
But it broke your heart nonetheless.
“Sure.” You whispered, and exited the Great Hall without waiting to see if they were following you. 
You walked into an empty classroom and leaned against one of the walls as Remus and Sirius closed the door behind them. They shared another look and stood opposite of you.
More secret conversations. You thought bitterly. And doesn’t this just paint a lovely picture; them versus you. 
“Y/N. We, uhm...we’ve been talking, and we realized that...that maybe we haven’t gone about this the right way.” Sirius started, looking at Remus continuously as he addressed you. 
We’ve made a terrible mistake. 
“We didn’t take into account the ways in which our relationship would have to change in order to make the three of us work” Remus added.
We didn’t realize how much you’d take away from us, you heard
“We feel like we’ve been unfair to you, and... we’re really sorry.” Sirius concluded, looking like his heart had been ripped out of his rib cage. You supposed that would make sense, considering that’s how you currently felt yourself.
It probably hurt all the same to them – they’d be losing the friendships the three of you had created too; the friendship you had with Remus, the friendship you had with Sirius, and the fun the three of you had all together. But you still loved them, and the last thing you wanted to do was to interfere in their relationship.
“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” You admitted finally. “It was just a mistake.”
Remus’ head cocked to the side like a confused puppy whilst Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed. “Well...I, I’m not sure-” Remus started but was cut off by Sirius.
“Wait, Y/N, what exactly do you think the mistake was?”
You looked between the two of them as you lifted your shoulder. “I... I guess including me?” You stated as a question.
Sirius actually sputtered as Remus stepped towards you, stopping himself seemingly before he made to grab you.
“No! No, Dove. That’s not a mistake!” He insisted.
“Are you kidding? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to us – no, no. This...wow, okay. Can we start from the beginning, please? Why do you think this was a mistake?” Sirius managed to (barely) get out.
You looked to the ceiling, eyes stinging at the reality of having to voice your hurt. “Because” your voice came out embarrassingly high. “Because it-it felt...better when we were friends. I didn’t feel...in the way. And it felt easier. Just - I didn’t mean to come in between you, and I never...” you cut yourself off, quickly moving into hyperventilating territory. 
“But-”
“It’s not a mistake!” Sirius shouted, cutting Remus off. “This wasn’t a mistake! You weren’t a mistake. I... okay. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, that’s true. But I don’t consider that a mistake. Not you, never you.”
“It was a surprise; a happy accident.” Remus added hopefully shy.
You felt drunk...dizzy...beyond confused. Weren’t they breaking up with you? Weren’t you supposed to be breaking up with them!?
“I think it was easier when we were friends because we weren’t putting so much pressure on ourselves to get this right.” Sirius explained.
Remus nodded and continued. “Sirius used to get so jealous if I got to hang out with you without him if he was at practice – took us a while to figure out that it was because he wished he was the one hanging out with you. When we started dating, I guess Sirius and I figured we’d just make sure to always hangout with you together so that neither of us felt left out. But we never even thought about how that must’ve been making you feel, dove. I’m so sorry.” 
“Regulus read us our rights.” Sirius admitted abashedly. “He pointed out that the relationship between the three of us will only work if our relationships with each other are strong. And we didn’t make our individual relationships with you a priority – that was our mistake, Y/N. Not you.” 
“Our mistake was believing you would just ‘catch up’ to where we are – which is years in the making – and also expecting you to somehow do that on your own. It was selfish and thoughtless.” Remus stressed
The things they were saying made sense and spoke to your very soul, but you couldn’t shake off this lingering feeling of dread.
“I... I should have said something... about how I was feeling.”
Sirius sighed, but it was Remus who spoke. “I think all of us could have done a better job communicating, that’s true. But we should have been more considerate. We asked you to join us, dove; we should have made that easy for you to do.”
“To think how much grief we’ve caused ourselves, when we could have just solved this all with a conversation.” Sirius mumbled dejectedly. 
“We’re not too late, are we? To solve this?” Remus asked quietly. Sirius’ eyes looked like they were close to popping out of his skull as he stood and made for you, grabbing your hands pleadingly.
“Oh gods, Y/N. You... you were breaking up with us, weren’t you? You thought we were breaking up with you?” His voice sounded very close to a sob.
“Please...please dove I- I don’t know that we deserve it, but please give us a chance to make this right, to do this properly. Give us a chance to love you the way you deserve.” Remus begged, moving to stand in front of you with Sirius, though he controlled his urge to grab your hands. 
You looked between the two boys; the two boys who you’ve been basically in love with for so long – the two boys who have proclaimed to feel the same way about you - and wondered to yourself again:
Have we made a terrible mistake?
Remus’ golden eyes shimmered with compassion and warmth, and Sirius burned fiercely in devotion and promises.  
Had you made a mistake? Falling in love with them?
No.
Perhaps Remus was right. Perhaps this was a happy accident.
“Okay.” You whispered. Remus exhaled the breath he’d been holding while Sirius’ face morphed into a small, hopeful kind of smile – far shyer than you were used to seeing from the boy.
“Okay?” He asked, moving his hands up from your wrists to your shoulders.
“Yeah... I-I don’t want to lose you guys.” You admitted wetly, a tear betraying you as it fell down your cheek. Sirius was quick to catch it with his thumb.
“Never, dove. Not if I can help it.” Remus promised. 
You believed him.  
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moonstruckme · 1 month
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hi! i've been stalking your page for literal hours and i love how you write poly marauders so much!! could you write how they would react to the reader coming home from a night out with a black eye or something like that?? <33333
Thank you lovely! And thanks for being so patient while I took literal months to get to this request haha, love you! <3
cw: reader is drunk and has a black eye
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words
“Hey, gorgeous,” Sirius says as you come in the door. Remus shushes him, and he lowers his voice. “How’re the girls?” 
“Good,” you reply, cautiously quiet as you kick off your shoes. 
Rounding the couch, you see James asleep on Remus’ shoulder, a small puddle of drool soaking into the material of the taller boy’s pajama shirt. They’re all in pajamas, actually. Envy strikes you through the heart. They look so unbearably cozy, better than you in your scratchy jeans and too-tight top. 
“I hope you didn’t wait up,” you say as Remus flips his book closed, and Sirius chuckles. You’ll learn later that you’d been slurring your words. 
“We don’t mind,” Remus confirms your suspicions. “You didn’t walk home by yourself, did you?” 
You shake your head, flopping into the spot beside James on the couch. Only you hadn’t quite thought that through, and Remus tuts as he starts to rouse. 
“Sorry,” you whisper. “Um, the girls dropped me off out front.” 
Sirius nods his approval. James hums as he picks his head up off Remus’ shoulder, spotting you. 
“Hey, lovie.” He transfers his affections to you, wrapping his arms around your neck and letting himself weigh heavily against your front. You giggle, your favorite monkey. “Did you just get home?” 
“Uh-huh. Oh, Jamie!” You gasp as a memory makes its way out of the fog of your brain. “I saw something you would have loved.” 
“What’s that?” he asks. 
“We came across a dog park, and I didn’t even know those could be open at night but—” 
“No, angel.” He’s stopped hugging you, an unpleasant development, one of his hands leaving your neck to hold your cheek. “What’s that on your face?” 
“Hm?” You don’t remember anything getting on your face. “I dunno. Jamie, I’m trying to tell you about the puppies.” 
“Just hold on, darling, sorry. Is that a bruise?” 
“What?” Sirius is in front of you before you know what’s happened. Vampire-fast, you think fascinatedly, wondering if he’d have been a streak across your vision had you bothered to look. Though, to be fair, your vision is generally streaky at the moment. He takes your chin in his hand, tilting it up and to the side. “Remus, point your light here.” 
There’s a low creaking as Remus adjusts his reading lamp, and then you’re squeezing your eyes shut. 
“Jesus, what the hell?” 
Remus curses softly, and you squint to see him leaning closer to you. Your boyfriends’ faces crowd your vision like a three-headed monster. 
“Baby,” Sirius says, sounding heartbroken, “what happened?” 
“I don’t—can you move the light away?” 
More creaking, and you can see again. You blink, eyes watery, and Sirius lays a painstakingly gentle thumb over the skin beneath your eye. 
“It must be bad if it’s already bruising,” he says. 
Remus stands. “Then we should put ice on it.” 
You pout as he disappears into the kitchen, but Sirius recaptures your attention by turning your face toward his. 
“I need you to think.” He fixes his stare on yours gravely. His eyes are the color of the moon reflecting off water. You try to tell him so, but his frown doesn’t abate. “Listen,” he says, “what happened to hurt your eye? You have to remember.” 
You purse your lips, shaking your head at him. “I feel like I’d know if something happened,” you say self-assuredly. “It’s probably just makeup. Can you get me a wipe?” 
“Angel.” James’ eyebrows have hooked upwards in the middle. He’s looking uncharacteristically serious, too. Your boyfriends are really not being a ton of fun tonight, you think. “It’s all red and purple. You can’t tell me that doesn’t hurt, babydoll.” 
You shrug. That may be so. But if it doesn’t hurt, who really cares? 
Sirius gets up just as Remus comes back with what looks like a balled-up dish towel. He passes it to you with a tender look on his face. 
“Put this on your eye, honey,” he says. Then, “Sirius, love, where are you going?” 
“To call Evans.” 
You touch the cloth to your eye, but it’s freezing cold, and you opt to let it rest in your lap instead.
“She won’t even be home yet,” Remus argues. “And what do you think you’ll accomplish if you do get ahold of her? She can’t tell us anything now that she won’t still know in the morning.” 
“What if somebody did this to her? If Evans saw, I want to know about it tonight.” 
“Don’t you think,” James says, “that if someone hit her, the girls would’ve come in and told us?” You lean against his side, and he wraps an arm around you automatically, rubbing your shoulder. He smells like strawberries and laundry detergent and something ineffably homey. “They wouldn’t have just dropped her off out front.” 
“What if no one saw?” 
“Then what do you think calling will do, love?” 
“I just…I feel like I have to do something. Don’t you?” 
You lean your head on James’ shoulder and snuggle into the familiar sounds of your boyfriends’ voices, overlapping and intermingling. You don’t realize they’ve gone quiet until Remus’ hand wraps around yours, and you open your eyes. 
“You’ve got to actually hold this on your eye,” he chides lovingly, taking the dish towel from you and pressing it to your face. 
The edge of something hard beneath the cloth digs into a tender spot beneath your eye, and you flinch. “Ow.” 
Remus’ forehead creases sympathetically. “Sorry.” 
But the pain brings another memory out of the fog. You pick your head up as you feel your good eye widen in realization, meeting Sirius’. 
He flicks up an eyebrow. “What’re you smiling about?” 
“I remember what happened,” you admit, a touch of embarrassment to your tone. And if you hadn’t had everyone’s attention before, you do now. 
“What was it?” James rubs your shoulder reassuringly. “You can tell us.” 
“It’s…when we were at the dog park, I got distracted.” 
Remus’ eyes narrow. “Go on.” 
You rub your lips together self-consciously. “I may have walked into a sign. About poop bags.” 
James leans away from you to see you better. “Like, a metal sign?” 
You nod, and he winces. 
“Ouch, lovie.” 
“Fucking hell.” Sirius covers his face with both hands, loosing a big breath through the cracks in his palms. Remus reaches back to pats his leg consolingly. “I was ready to go after whoever did that with a tire iron.” 
You shrink into the couch cushions. “Sorry.” 
“You could still take a tire iron to the sign, I suppose,” James says. 
Sirius ignores him, crouching in front of you and taking your face in both hands. Remus lets the cloth drop rather than maneuver around him. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, understand?” 
“Yeah,” James agrees, “if you injure yourself in the future, ask for a pen and make a note on your arm or something. Save us the worry.” 
You lean forward, pressing a lingering, heartfelt kiss to Sirius’ cheek. 
“Thanks for worrying,” you say, and where your lips touched him the skin glows pink. 
“You’re taking years of my life, you know,” he says quietly. 
Remus chuckles. “Don’t worry. It looks good on you.” 
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bettysupremacy · 3 months
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hii! I was wondering if you could write a fic with reader and any marauder (they all fit) and maybe helping or becoming protective over the reader after a concert or party after a creep follows the reader? 😭
I went through a similar experience with a guy following me around after I went to the restroom after a concert, and it ruined my night if i'm being honest, I was scared 😞 I'm not the most shy of people and usually I can handle myself but it was pretty dark and idk the adrenaline from feeling happy to scared shifted pretty quickly. Luckily I found my friends and let them know and we quickly went back to our car (along with a few dirty looks from my friends god bless lol). I swore I could go to the restroom by myself- will not be doing that again :(
you can ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable!
thank uu
i’m so sorry that happened to you! “(they all fit)”= poly marauders!
There’s something about post concert depression, especially when you’re with the band.
Your glitter eyeshadow is smudged, eyeliner untouched. You’d been shaken around in the pit of your boyfriends fans, and yet the paint hasn’t budged. God bless water-proof makeup. The world seems prettier like this, touched by alcohol and the feeling of soaring pride for your boyfriends. The glittery lights and signs of time square never fail to dazzle you, even now as you lean against Sirius morosely.
“M’hungry.” You frown, toes tipping up towards Sirius, though you fear the mumble may have been more for yourself.
His attention is diverted towards the boys as they discuss what to do now. Plans of how to get home and where to eat. His finger taps your cheek slowly, his focus paying you no mind. Words like Uber, hotel, room service echo throughout their very repetitive conversation.
“Sirius.”
He looks down, a little shocked and sorry at his own attention. “Yes, lovely?”
“M’hungry.”
“Hungry?” He asks, cringing. You’re about thirty minutes from the hotel, and even then, room service will take another thirty.
“So hungry.”
He sighs, unsure of what to do.
“There’s a hotdog stand over there.” You grab his tattooed bicep to balance yourself as you point to your right.
He thinks, peering down at you. “This won’t ruin your dinner?” It’s midnight, but still.
“No,” you sing, reaching up to cup his cheeks. “I really want a hotdog.
He flushes, looking away from your wandering eyes. Normally he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. They would never let you out of their sight in a place like this. But the cart is in eye view of the boys, and he has faith in you not to stray, even in your inebriated manor. It’s not that they don’t trust you, they just prefer to keep you safe themselves. Is that okay?
“Okay,” He murmurs, pulling out his wallet, handing you his card. “At least get the good toppings.”
“I always get the good toppings.” You pull away.
The walk is short and the cart is colorful. Red and white stripes, curvy calligraphy. It shines in your inebriated vision. Beautiful. The queues not long, just an older man waiting in front of you, but it feels like forever as the generous man (with the toppings as well) takes your order and wraps it in warm aluminum foil.
You take the hotdog eagerly. “Thank you.”
It’s heavy in your hands, warm too. You yell Sirius’ name excitedly, waving the hotdog above your head for him to see. He laughs, thumbs up until you bump into a man, smile fading, concern etching his brows.
“Oh,” you murmur, looking up. “I’m sorry.”
“No problem,” he smiles. It’s uncomfortable, not the smile of a friendly civilian.
You laugh. It’s polite, anyone can see that, but he leans closer. He smells like liquor, a disgusting discovery that has you subconsciously leaning away.
“You new around here?”
An actual laugh stumbles out of your lips. “London? No.”
He takes this as an entrance. “You should show me around.”
“No, thank you.” You try to walk past him. Towards Sirius who’s already walking over. “Goodnight.”
“Wait,” he grabs your arm, pulling you back. His fingers dig into your elbow painfully.
“What the fuck,” you gasp, pulling your arm away roughly. “don’t touch me.”
“C’mon,” The man slurs, fingers reaching for you again. “Don’t be-“
“Hello?” Sirius walks up, all stock. He grabs your forearm pulling you to him firmly, getting in between you and the man. He’s not much taller, but more intimidating in demeanor. “Do we have a problem?”
“No,” the man scoffs.
“Cause it looks like you put your hands on her.”
He scoffs again, clearly inebriated. “We were just talking.”
“Well, conversations over now.”
“She can make her own decisions.”
“Fuck off, bro.” Sirius waves his hand dismissively. Quickly, he walks you towards the boys who are peeking their eyes up from the Uber app.
“She was asking for it.”
Sirius reels back, dropping your forearm to shove the scary stranger in the chest. He pushes hard, the man losing his balance as he falls to the ground in a sickening thud. You gasp loudly, the unexpected conflict startling you. Vaguely you hear Sirius say something to him, but you’re too focused on the way the man looks up at you.
James and Remus are there in seconds, quick on Sirius’s heels. They pull at him, up and off the man. There were no real punches thrown, no real injuring blows, it wasn’t even enough to form a crowd. But still, you’re shaken. You shiver like a leaf under your James’ leather jacket, suddenly not feeling the warmth of the alcohol you’d consumed before the concert.
Slowly, you stumble back and way from your boys, to the bench next to the shitty bar you’d passed on your way home. That had been scary, but you’re safe; that had been scary, but Sirius dealt with it. You bring your hand up to your chest, setting the hotdog you had been eager to buy down next to you.
“Hi,” Remus pushes aside the hotdog to sit next to you. “Are you okay?”
You look up to the boy, blindingly beautiful in the streetlights and advertisements. “Yes.”
He pushes some stray hair from your face. “He didn’t hurt you?”
“I think it was more startling.” James sits on the other side of you, kissing your temple firmly. “I’m sorry he did that.”
“It’s okay, I’m okay.”
“She’s okay.” Sirius gruffs from where he walks over.
He sounds cooler than he thinks he looks. He’s not bruised, bloodied, or bandaged, if he were he thinks he’d look cool enough to breeze over. But then again you look mad, so maybe he doesn’t want that.
“Don’t be upset,” Sirius crouches to your level. You’re in the arms of a solid Remus. “he was a creep.”
“Are you hurt?”
“Are you trying to tell me something?” He laughs roguishly. “I thought I looked good tousled.”
He does, and you know he’ll look good on the tabloids tomorrow too. Sirius black gives black eye? You sigh at the thought.
“You do.” James feeds Sirius.
“At least someone in this relationship cares for my ego.”
“You look good.”
“Oh, now you tell me.”
You laugh, letting Sirius stare at you like you hung the moon.
“Kiss em?” He pushes his knuckles in front of your lips. His fingers throb lightly, you can feel it on your lips.
“That was stupid.”
“C’mon,” Sirius’ eyes roll as he pulls you up. “You’ve got a hotdog to eat.”
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bruisedboys · 8 months
Note
Shy!reader who's brain is running a million miles per hour and Sirius who notices and decides to pull her into a secret room for doting kisses and sweet compliments???
thank you for your request lovely! <333
sirius black x fem!reader
You don’t know how Sirius has managed to weasel you out of the thick of the party and into his friend’s bathroom, but here you are, alone with Sirius in Remus Lupin’s bathroom and trying not to act like this is exactly what you wanted.
“Sirius,” you say, breathless as you watch him close the door and then spin round to face you, grinning. “What are you doing?”
Sirius shrugs. “Just trying to get some alone time with my girl. Sue me.”
My girl. You try not to buckle at the knees. “Alone time? I thought you liked parties.”
“I only like whatever you like.”
You glare at him. He’s being awful on purpose. “Don’t you want to go hang out with your friends?”
“Not if you don’t want to,” Sirius says, moving towards you. You know he’s gonna grab you before he does, hands hot at your hips as he pulls you towards him. “I was watching you out there, you know. You looked like you weren’t having a good time.”
“Did I?” You ask, horrified. “Sirius, why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You push at his chest as if that’s gonna do anything. He’s much stronger than you. In more ways than one. “I don’t want Remus to think I’m a priss.”
Sirius laughs. “Dove,” he says, chiding and amused. “He doesn’t think that. The only reason I noticed is ‘cos I know you so well.” He strokes your cheek with his thumb as if to say, yeah, I know you, and I love you all the same. “You’d’ve looked completely lovely to everyone else.”
“Ugh,” you say, as if you’re grossed out by his fondness rather than totally enthralled. Your burning cheeks say otherwise.
“Ugh,” Sirius copies agreeably. “You’re okay, though? We can leave if you need, babe. I swear I don’t mind.”
You’re shaking your head before he’s even finished his sentence. “No, I’m okay. We can stay.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you having an awful time.”
“I’m not,” you say honestly. You were overwhelmed earlier but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have handled it for Sirius’ sake. He’s handled a lot worse for your sake.
Sirius raises his eyebrows, looking incredibly handsome. “Promise?”
You smile at him. “Promise.”
Sirius smiles back, all pearly white teeth and the dusty pink lips. You’re not surprised when he ducks in to kiss you. You let him because you like him a lot and you could really use a kiss right now. He’s right of course, you had been having a hard time out in the living room. You’d just been beginning to spiral when Sirius had appeared out of nowhere and whisked you away like he could read your mind. Now, he kisses you with all the care of someone who knows you like the back of his hand, and all the electricity of a boy in love.
He backs you up against the sink, hands firm at your hips, kissing and kissing, but pulls back just when you think he’s about to really get carried away. You’re grateful because you’d hate to be discovered like this by one of his friends and you think he knows that.
“I love you,” he says, ducking in for another quick kiss that’s brief but sweet enough to leave you reeling. “Promise you’ll let me know if you want to get out of here, yeah?”
“Okay,” you nod, frazzled by his kissing and his sweetness.
Sirius smiles a dizzying smile and chucks you under the chin. “C’mon, lovely girl,” he takes your hand and tugs you towards the door. “Wanna help me win poker?”
He knows you’re no good at card games — he just wants you in his lap as his so-called lucky charm. Lucky for him, you can’t think of anything else you’d rather do.
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jasmines-library · 1 month
Note
hi love! idk if you are interested or not but i had an idea of reader being friends with lilly and severus but also with the marauders untill the oh so fateful day were sev ruined his friendship with lilly and reader. i love the idea of lilly ending up in james's arms and reader in sirius's (they are my boys sorry sev🤭)
thank you and again, only if you want! have a wonderful day lovely!
Only Human
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⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
Warnings: Slurs (mudblood), swearing bullying kinda, negativity but fluffy ending
Word Count: 1.7k
⛧ MARAUDERS MASTERLIST⛧
⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
Severus Snape was resting against a tree when it happened. The castle sat opposite him, just a short way across the clear water. The small ripples created by the creatures in the lake and the summer breeze often distracted him from the book that he rested between his knees and his chest as he tucked them up closely. It was this exact reason that he hadn't noticed the band of robe-clad gryffindors trudging up the slope toward him. James Potter led the group, he wore his signature charismatic grin; a smirk that twinged the corner of his lip upwards and made his nose scrunch beneath his glasses, and he had his wand held loosely in his hand. He twisted the delicate tool between his fingers as you would a drumstick. Sauntering over to Severus, he chuckled at his friends, nudging them playfully with his shoulder. 
“Snape!” He jested, calling out to him. 
His head snapped up, but he kept his back planted firmly against the tree as the group of marauders ran up to him. He squeezed his eyes shut, just hoping that they would turn and leave. But they were bored and Severus, who had been particularly troublesome toward them, had caught their eyes. Severus inched himself up against the tree so that he rose to his feet and began to turn back in the direction of the castle. 
James frowned, a look of mock pity set on his face. “Leaving already, Snivellus?”
Snape reached for his wand, but kept his back to them.  “Fuck off, Potter. I don’t want trouble.”
“Don’t you know it’s rude to turn your back to someone when they’re talking to you, Snape.” Sirius asked him. 
Severus whipped around quickly, his wand poised to cast a spell at them but James beat him to it; with one flick of his hand Snape's wand went flying across the river bank. He paled, the four Marauders stepping closer to him. 
“Nice one, James.” Sirius cheered. 
The dark haired boy backed up slowly, setting his gaze. The four of them were edging closer, threatening him with their wands when you spotted them. You had just finished class and were heading over to the lake with Lily, arm in arm. The two of you were over there in seconds when you saw your friends threatening each other. Much to your boyfriend's dismay, you and Severus had been friends from the beginning of the first year. You met him on the train; a shy boy with long hair who didn’t quite seem certain of the world. Lily bonded with him quickly, and you followed soon after. It wasn’t long after that that you met Sirius Black. Charming, brave, daring; he was the complete opposite to Snape, but you supposed that was what drew you to him so much. It was their clash in personalities that made the two clash. It seemed as though they were always doing something to wind up the other.
This time it had gone too far. You were unsure of what Sev had done to wind up the Marauders so much, but you and Lily were skidding to a stop beside them in a heartbeat. 
James caught a glimpse of Lily’s fiery hair out of the corner of his eye. “Lilyflower-”
“Leave him alone, James.” It wasn’t quite a demand, Lily never had that sort of aggressiveness in her, but her voice was firm. She didn’t want her friend to get hurt. 
“Ah, Evans, Don’t make me hex you.” James sighed, a playful twinge on his tongue.
“I’m serious.” Lily repeated when James refused to lower his wand, letting it loll around between his fingers. 
“No,” Sirius smirked. “I am.”
You gave him a hard stare through narrow eyes, and his smirk dropped. “Siri. Please.”
The boy nodded, nudging his friend who promptly pocketed his wand. Severus seemed taken back, his steps faltering. He glanced gratefully in your direction, though his anger and embarrassment were unmistakable in his eyes. 
“You’re lucky that they were here to help you, Snape.”
“I don’t need help from filthy mudbloods.”
You had expected many things from Severus, but those words were not one of them. He spat them with venom; malice intending to bite deep. And bite deep it did. 
You froze, eyes glassing over with tears. Serverus Snape had made an incredibly low blow; as a muggleborn, it was safe to say that it took some time to come to terms with your letter to Hogwarts. You were excited, of course but your parents were far from keen. Lily experienced the same thing with her sister too. Things didn’t get much better when you arrived at Hogwarts either. Some saw you as ‘impure’. Unworthy. Sev knew this and he had chosen to use it against you. Perhaps it was in a moment of spite, perhaps he hadn’t meant to say it at all. But all that mattered in that moment was that Severus Snape was just like the rest of them.   
You could see Sirius glance your way out of the corner of your eye, but when he took a step toward you you backed away. 
“Fuck you, Snape.” You spat back at him, trying to hide the waver in your voice. 
“You should watch your mouth, Snivellus.” Lily glared at him before turning on her heel and making her way promptly back to the castle before anyone else could say a word. 
You were left standing between the two groups, both slightly shell shocked, in silence.
Sirius, now full of guilt, opened his mouth to talk, but you pursued Lily before he could even form the first syllable.
 The tears came flooding in quickly after that. 
~
Sirius hadn’t seen you for the rest of the day. and that was partly because you refused to come out of the girls bathroom. He had even tried to get Moaning Myrtle to coax you out to talk to him, but still you refused to show your face as you curled up on the bathroom tile. It made his stomach churn. 
His pit of guilt dug itself deeper as he sat in class. Sirius’ leg bounced restlessly during potions and there was just as much ink on the page at the start of the lesson as there was at the end. The detention he was also given didn’t help ease his thoughts. His mind wandered to the worse case scenarios. It was his fault for provoking Snape… What if you never wanted to talk to him again? He was up in an instant when the fateful day came to an end and he could return to the common room. He dragged his feet up to the portrait and muttered the words to open it. Every part of him itched to see your face mingling amongst the crowd. 
At first, he didn’t see you. But he managed to make out the crown of your head resting against an armchair tucked away in the corner by the fire. His face softened when he saw the tear tracks staining your face where you had failed to wipe them away properly.  
You had spent practically the last two hours crying. Everytime the flood stopped, it seemed to start up again. Severus was supposed to be your friend and he had discarded you just like that. The back of your eyes stung, glassy beads threatening to spill again. When you finally braved it enough to make it back to the common room, you couldn’t bear to go up to your room. You hardly spent any time there anyway because you spent much of it lounging around in Sirius’ bed with the other marauders…and you were angry and Sirius. 
No… perhaps angry was too strong a word. Hurt. Hurt by his actions and his and James’ thoughtlessness. Being up in your room would have just reminded you of that. So instead you settled down with a book by the fire trying to distract yourself and let the world move around you. 
It didn’t take Sirius very long to reach you. He crossed the common room in a few wide strides. 
“Love?” Siri asked hesitantly. 
You peeked up at him meekly. Your eyes were red raw and puffy, it made the boy frown. Sniffing, you wiped your eyes with the hem of your sleeve. “Oh.. hi Siri.” you mumbled, not quite meeting his eyes. 
“Oh Lovey. I’m so sorry.” He melted, sliding onto the arm of the chair beside you. 
“ ‘ts okay. It’s not your fault…”
Sirius scowled. You were far too kind for your own good. He knew exactly what you had been through and made him sick just thinking that you weren’t allowing anyone to take the blame for it. “But it is, Dove. I shouldn’t have provoked him. If I had stopped James and just kept my mouth shut then you wouldn’t have had to come over in the first place.”
A tear spilled from your eyes and all of a sudden you broke all over again. “He was supposed to be my friend, Pads.” You blubbered, voice wavering. “He’s just like the rest of them…”
Sirius took your hands in his, pressing a kiss to them. “You didn’t deserve any of this, my love. I am so, so sorry.”
“Maybe they’re right….” You trailed off. “Maybe I am worthless. If Sev thinks so too then-”
“Shh.” Sirius pressed another kiss to your temple as he scooped you up into his arms. Burying your face into his chest you continued to cry. He trailed his fingers over your back. “You’ve never been more wrong in your life, Lovey. You are worth so much more than that. You’re kind, brave and not to mention the most beautiful girl in the world. You’re worth everything to me. Who gives a crap what they think?”
You sniffled, unsure. 
“I mean it.”
You looked up at him, wiping away your tears; a ghost of a smile on your lips. 
“I love you.” Siri whispered, kissing you softly.
“I love you too.” You settled your head against his chest, shifting to curl against him. 
It was there that James and Lily found you later, entwined with each other and sleeping peacefully. Safe within each other's arms.
⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
MARAUDERS TAGS:
@hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx
⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
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writtenbymoonflower · 2 months
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Hi omg I just discovered you’re fics and girl 🥰🥰 I love them so I wanted to put in a request could you do a poly!marauders fic where reader has anxiety buts hates taking her medication, thanks!!
thanks for reading and requesting hunny! I hope this is okay. fem!reader x poly!marauders
cw: anxiety, medication, swearing
905 words
You weighed the bottle in your hand, hearing the tablets rattle. You debated your options. It was a safe bet to take them, but they made you feel flighty and drowsy. If you didn’t take them it could end badly, but nothing you weren’t used to. You had been stressed lately, but you could manage. You would regret taking them if nothing happened and you would regret not taking them if something did. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You decided against it for the time being, closing the medicine cabinet and walking into your shared bedroom. 
Sirius was rummaging through his part of the closet, holding various pieces up to his body, while Remus occasionally looked up from his novel to give an indifferent shrug or an approving smirk. James was looking at Sirius with googly eyes while he folded the clothes he was haphazardly tossing. 
“See, I think this one makes- hey, gorgeous! -I think it makes my waist pop. What do you think?” He held the piece to his torso, showing off the top. 
“Can’t tell if you don’t put it on.” Remus said, nonchalant. 
“If you want a strip tease Moons, just say so.” Sirius winked, tossing the shirt into his ‘keep’ pile. You shuffled over to James, sitting next to him and leaning on his bicep as he kissed the top of your head and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. 
“You should do this soon, lovie.” James suggested.
“Yeah! You were just saying you needed to go through your clothes the other day. Might as well give us the pleasure of a fashion show in the process.” Sirius smirked at you. 
“Like I said, it’s only a fashion show if you actually wear clothes.” Remus said again. Sirius just rolled his eyes, going back to his closet rummaging. 
You really did need to clean your part of the closet. You also needed to fill out some paperwork, and do some cleaning, and go through your makeup. Honestly, you had a laundry list of things you needed to get done that you were slowly working through. Slow as in, snail’s pace. An anxious jolt went through your body as you thought about it, making chills spread over your skin and your hands feel fidgety. You tried to take some deep breaths, but they just ended up shaky as you began to pick your cuticles. You could feel James studying the top of your head, and it made you more uneasy. You were running the risk of shredding your nails, squeezing your eyes tightly as if it would keep the anxiety out. 
“You okay, baby dove?” Remus spoke up, setting his book down. This caught Sirius’ attention. Unfortunately, Remus’ words did not comfort you, but rather flustered you further. 
“Y-yeah.” You struggled out, breathing becoming more shallow. 
“What’s going on, sweet girl?” James questioned, backing up to look at your face. 
“I- I think I’m just anxious.” You shook, still picking at your nails. You bit hard on your lip thinking it would help. It didn’t. Sirius dropped the trousers he was holding and hurried over. 
“Shit, baby. Don’t hurt yourself, it’s okay.” He took your offending hands in one of his larger ones and freed your lip from its abuse with the other. They were used to this with you, which you regretted. James was petting your head gently. You could hear the skepticism in Remus’ voice.
“Did you take your medicine today, lovely?” His amber eyes searched your worried face. You just looked down, shaking your head. 
Sirius was exasperated. “Baby,” He chided. “We’ve talked about this.” He said as Remus sighed and stood up to fetch your pill bottle. 
“I know,” You said, shamefully. Sirius decided not to scold you worse in your fragile state. 
“Here, drink this.” James handed you his water bottle, opening it for you. You drank up, the cool liquid helping your state. Remus returned with your medication, watching you intensely as you took the dose. When you swallowed, Remus took your chin in his hand, lifting your face to look at him. 
“I know you have a hard time with this, but you’ve gotta look after yourself. It’s worse when you don’t, sweet girl." He was gentle but desperate as he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. You nodded, hiding in James' chest. He was graceful, and gently rocked you, hoping to calm your nervous system. Sirius grabbed one of your hands again, lifting it to kiss each of your knuckles. 
“You feeling better, baby?” His eyes were unusually round and glossy. 
“Yes, loads better. Thank you guys. I’m sorry I get like this.” 
“Don’t be sorry, sweetness.” James kissed the top of your head again. “Just try to be nicer to yourself. There’s a reason you were given the medication.” 
“I know.” You settled, your breathing finally returning to a normal rate. Sirius looked most relieved, giving in and tackling you onto the bed, making James squawk in protest. 
“Geez Pads, don’t crush the poor thing. She’s fragile.” James relented to stroking Sirius' hair out of his face as the boy grinned on top of you. 
“Shush, Prongs. I’m trying to enjoy this.” He turned his gaze to you. “Besides, I heard pressure helps anxiety.” He put all his weight on you, needling his arms underneath your body to squeeze you against him. 
He was right. It did help.
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underoospeterparker · 2 months
Note
okay i really hope this makes sense because i love your writing - shy!reader x remus <3
reader is in the wrong place at the wrong time and gets detention for something she didn’t do - too shy and nervous to speak up for herself. when reader doesn’t meet up on time with remus he begins to worry
thank you for requesting! writing in the actual harry potter universe is tough, but i really like how it turned out!
grumpy!remus lupin x shy!fem!reader, 0.7k words
Remus paced back and forth in the hallway, frantically trying to think of an excuse as to why you might be late. James and Sirius watched him, clearly amused at his antics.
"Moony," James spoke up, "might I remind you that she's only ten minutes late?"
He turned around with an annoyed look on his face, a frown turning the corner of his lips downward. "No, you may not."
Sirius burst into laughter, clutching at James's blazer to steady himself. When he took a look at Remus's face, he fell silent. "Sorry," he murmured, "that was not funny."
"She's never late," he said, mostly to himself rather than to his best friends, "maybe I should check her classroom?" He paused, then answered his own question. "Yes. I'll do that. See you later, guys," Remus added, before heading off in the opposite direction of the Great Hall for lunch.
James sighed in mock disappointment. "Now what'll we do?"
Sirius played along, grin wide on his face. "Well," he said thoughtfully, "we'll have to follow him. I mean, what else could we possibly do?
-
You sat, hands shaking, in front of your professor. The only sound was the clicking of his pen as he surveyed you. "I don't understand what I did wrong," you managed, looking at your lap because you could not meet his gaze.
Snape stared at you, an incredulous look on his face. "You don't understand what you did wrong?" He repeated your statement. "Well, let me remind you, (Y/N). A student told me that she saw you in the bathroom, attempting to perform an expulso curse."
You didn't say anything. You knew it was Pansy, but if you said anything, which you wouldn't have done anyway, she would do much worse to you. "I'm sorry," you murmured, your voice quiet.
He nodded, a stern look on his face. "Do not let me catch you doing that again," he said, then paused. "Detention, then. Two weeks, starting today. 6'o clock. Don't be late," he added, then motioned for you to leave.
Packing up your things, you left in a hurry. You bumped straight into Remus, who had been making his way to your classroom. He steadied you, setting a hand on your hip. When he spoke, his voice was gentle. "Hey, where've you been? I've been looking for you everywhere, I-"
He was cut off by you promptly bursting into tears, hiding your face in the crook of his blazer. "Oh," he murmured. He wrapped his arms around you, hand going up to soothingly scratch at your scalp. "Oh, angel, you're okay," he murmured softly. "It's okay."
You sniffled, and the sound made his chest hurt as you burrowed your head further into his jacket. Then, you pulled away, bringing your sleeve up to wipe at your eyes hastily.
"I'm sorry," you whispered. You tried to explain yourself. "I was in the bathroom at the wrong time," you said, and Remus raised an eyebrow. "Snape thought I was trying to do an expulso curse."
"But you weren't," Remus said slowly. "Of course you weren't. Must've been Pansy, the little git." When you nodded, he asked, "Why didn't you say anything?"
You shook your head. "I didn't want to get in more trouble."
You looked up at him, and his eyes softened. "I get it," he said, although if it had been up to him, he would have blamed it on her to get you out of trouble. Remus swung an arm around your shoulder, pulling you back into his chest, which you went into gladly. "So, how many days of detention?"
Wincing, you replied, "two weeks."
He groaned, then said, "how am I supposed to go that long without seeing my best girl?"
You laughed. "You'll see me at lunch, and at Charms."
He pressed a kiss to your head. "Nope. I gotta get into some sort of trouble so I can be in detention with you, sweetheart."
Your eyes widened when James and Sirius popped out from behind the corner, identical mischievous grins on their faces.
Sirius was the first to speak up. "Did someone say trouble?"
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itsss4t4n · 2 months
Text
Safe with You - Regulus Black x potter! reader
a/n: THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT. (6558 words)
warnings: mention of abuse, smoking, hurt/comfort, kissing, background wolfstar and (barely mentioned) rosekiller
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You didnt remember a time where Regulus Black didnt hate you.
Being James Potters younger sibling, most of his friends were also yours, so when sirius started talking about how much he hates his family , including Regulus you didnt question it much, but you never really had anything against him personally.
But it didnt help that, from the beginning of yours and Regulus first year he was pretty much a dickhead. He made it a point to be better than everyone and to tell them so. 
That started a rivalry between the both of you. Battleing for top of the class. 
All of this only got worse when, in the middle of the winter holidays in your 5th year, Sirius appeared at your doorstep, bleeding and asking for help.
After that point Regulus made sure to show you how much he hated you even more.
You just assumed that he hated you because of your family. Blood-traitors. 
In the beginning of your 6th year you had started to sneak away onto the astronomy  tower a lot of nights. 
It was nice up here. Quiet. You found solitude from the stressful schoolday and your Brother and his friends. You loved them, of course. But it was a lot of pressure. Most people just saw you as James sibling. And they expected you to be like him. It was honestly really exhausting.
Your parents didnt help a lot either. As much as they said they loved you equally, you always felt like James and now Sirius were more important to them. You were just the perfect little sibling. You were quiet and you had good grades so they didnt need to worry much about you. You felt neglected. But you also understood them. James didnt try as much in school, concentraiting more on pranks than homework and Sirius obviously had a lot to deal with because of his past.
So you snuck away when everyone was sleeping. In your pyjamas and a jacket you quiely left the common room and went to he astronomy tower. 
When you arrived you didnt pay much attention to your surroundings and so you didnt notice the other person that was sitting against the outside wall of the tower. You had already pulled out the pack of cigarettes that you had nicked from Sirius a week prior and were beginning to light it when you stepped against the railing. 
Taking a drag and pulling the cigarette away from your mouth you finally heard shuffling behind you. You quickly turn your head, scared that you're gonna find a prefect, or worse, Filch behind you. But instead you see a boy sitting a few meters away from you, his back to the wall of the tower, his dark hair covering his face. 
"Sorry i didnt realize someone was here." 
He finally looks up at you and you finally see his face.
"Black? The fuck are you doing here?" Your voice is a mix of confusion and annoyance at he fact that your solitide was disturbed by him of all people.
"I could ask you he same thing Potter." His voice was quiet and annoyed. Like he didnt want to deal with this right now. He sounded exhausted.
And at a second glance he looked it too. He had dark bags under his eyes and if you looked closely you could see a bruise at the side of his face. You didnt remember seeing it earlier during potions class but maybe he had covered it with magic. 
You had the urge to comment on it but remembered all the things thatt sirius would tell you about his parents and you had a feeling it had something to do with that. And that was a topic that you were sure wouldnt end well.
So you settled on "You look like shit."
He didnt answer and only looked at you even more annoyed. 
Shrugging, you simply looked away from him and lifted your cigarette back to your lips.
Regulus didnt move from his spot, so you assumed that he didnt care much that you were there.
You didnt feel like standing any longer, so you sat against the same wall regulus was sat against, now only a meter between the two of you. afer a few seconds you held out the pack of cigarettes to him .
"want one?" 
He took one without a word and you handed him your lighter when he put it beween his lips.
After that the two of you sat in silence looking at the nightsky. After almost 30 minutes of sitting in silence, you slowly moved to stand up.
"Well... I better go to bed. goodnight Black." 
You had only taken a step or two when Regulus spoke up for the first time since you got there.
"If you tell anyone i was here, you're dead potter."
You turn to him with a small smile.
"I wont. If i did i would have to tell them that i was here."
With that you left, leaving regulus confused on why you wouldnt want anyone knowing you were there. He left shortly after you did.
That night started a routine of you going up to the tower to find regulus either already there or arriving a few minutes later. You would sit in silence together, smoking a cigarette or two, before leaving again. Neither of you ever talked much.
During the day both of you acted like you always did. Like you werent sitting next to each other in almost friendly silence a few hours prior.
You never told your brother or any of your friends about it.
At some point you had started to talk to him instead of just sitting in silence. Not much. And certainly not anything of sustance. Mostly just complaining about professors and homework. But he never complained about it. He never said anything to be honest. He just sat and listened in silence. This continued almost every night unil the winter holidays.
You were standing on platform 9 3/4 with your family and Sirius, saying goodbye to your parents when you noticed Sirius glaring at something past your head. Turning around you see Regulus and his parents. Regulus looked even more exhausted than usual and even from the distance you could see him tensing up as his father put his hand on Regulus shoulder.
Something had happened over the holydays, you could tell.
James voice ripped you out of your thoughts. "Hey what are you two staring at?"
"Nothing." 
You answer immediately, turning back around and hugging your parents one last time. 
"Come on or we'll miss the train." 
That night during dinner you kept catching yourself looking at Regulus. Each time you seemed to notice a new reason to worry.
First how tense he seemed, then his eyebags, worse than you've ever seen them, how he fully ignored all his friends, how he made sure that his hair was alwas covering his left cheekbone and temple, how he seemed to constantly have a hand holding his ribs.
At one point you cought his eyes, giving him the slightest smile, hoping no one else caught it. 
You mouthed 'astronomy tower' hoping that he saw it, before turning back to your friends to answer the question that Marlene had just asked.
That night when you arrived at the tower Regulus was already there, sitting with his back against the wall and his head down, just like he first time you met him there. 
But this time when you sat next to him and he looked up at you, you could see the tears in his eyes threatening to fall. Without a word you pulled him into a hug, his head laying against your shoulder, and just held him as his tears finally spilled.
He didnt make a sound, he just silently let his tears fall. And you held him through it.
It took him about 20 minutes before he pulled away from you. He didn dare look into your face, just sitting right next to you staring at the stars.
After a minute or so of you observing his face you finally asked softly.
"What happened?"  
He didnt say anything for a few seconds. He didnt react at all. You thought maybe he didnt hear you but right as you opened you mouth to ask again, he finally answered.
"How much has Sirius told you about our family?" His voice was quiet and broken.
"A lot. He's told us pretty much anything they would do to him." 
He took a deep breath before he talked again, still refusing to look at you.
"When he was still there, they never really did anything to me. But when he left..." He swallowed "they needed someone else to blame all their problems on. They started to find faults in me. I pretty much became Sirius replacement. When they were angry they let it out on me. The night he left was the worst. I had begged him too stay. But he didnt. He just left me there. And they let all their anger about the situation out on me."
 His voice was shaky and quiet. He sounded unsure if he should be telling you this.
You honestly were surprised that he told you this. Even if you had been "hanging out" for almost half a year now. You didnt think he trusted you like this. And he proboaly didnt.
"Regulus.." His name left your mouth in a whisper. You had never called him by his first name before. 
Hearing his name out of your mouth finally made him look at you.
You slowly grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "I'm so sorry.." 
His gaze drifted from you face to your now joined hands. You expected him to pull his hand away but he just looked away at the stars again.
Neither of you said anything else.
That night was a turning point for both of you.
You stopped being hateful to each other in public. You werent friendly either. It was a silent truce. Your rivalry for top of the class was still there but it was less hateful.
Your nightly meetings slowly turned into talking about feelings. He told you about his friends, the few that were actually decent. Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch jr and Pandora Lestrange. Those were the three that actually semed pretty nice. According to Regulus they didnt really care that much about blood  status, Regulus didnt either. He had learned a lot from Sirius perspective, he was just way more scared of their parents, so he hid his opinions. 
You told him about your family problems, even though they were miniscule in comparison. About how you always felt like you stood in james shadow. 
Over time you and Regulus had come to a point were you honestly considered each other friends.
You still didnt tell any of your friends or you brother about it. You knew they wouldnt take it well.
But all of them noticed a change in you. How you seemed happier.
"Are you dating someone?" 
You nearly choked on your food, when Marlene asked that all of the sudden during dinner. 
"What?!" All conversation between your friends had halted as they all looked at you expectantly. "No! Why would you think that?" 
James looked stupidly relieved at that. He never liked the thought of you dating someone. 
It was Sirius that answered your question.
"Oh, c'mon. Even a blind person can see that you act different." You just looked at him confused. so he clarified. "You are so much happier, you constantly smile at nothing, you zone out. You're either dating someone or you have a big fat crush on someone. So go on. Spill." 
Your eyes widen in shock. Had you really been that obvious? Yes ,during the past few months you may have developed a little cush on the younger Black. But c'mon that obvious? 
But obviously you couldnt tell your friends that. Especially not Sirius and James. They would die of a heart attack on the spot.
"Do you really think if i had a crush on someone i wouldnt tell any of you? Not even Marlene or Lilly?" That was a good safe. Because yes, you usually told the girl pretty much every detail of your life. Even when you had a crush on Remus back in 4th year before you knew that he was gay. And very much in love with Sirius.
Sirius deflated on that. "Yea.. i guess that is true."
They finally picked up their previous conversations and you stole a quick glance at the slytherin table. But instead of Regulus eyes you met those of Evan Rosier. 
He had his eyes already on you and winked at you with a sly grin when our eyes met. Next to him Regulus had noticed that exchange and hit Evan in the side with his elbow. You looked at them confused as Regulus angrily whispered something to Evan who just laughed in reply.
Had Regulus told them? You made a mental note to ask him that night.
When your eyes finally went back to your friends you met Remus eyes who just lifted one eyebrow and smiled knowingly at you. 
You ignored him and went back to eating.
Later that evening you were sat in the common room doing potions homework when Remus excused himself from the boys to walk over to you. You looked up at him for a second as he sat down next to you before going back to writing. 
"You know, at some point they're gonna find out." 
"I have no idea what you're talking about Rem." He couldnt know. Right?
"Yea you do. You know, you're lucky that i'm the one that keeps the map most nights."
At that you froze. Your quill a few centimeters over your parchment. 
The map. 
Shit.
How did you forget about that.
Remus noticed your stressed facial expression. 
"They dont know. I havent told them dont worry. " You relaxed a little at that. "But you know its only a matter of time before one of them finds out."
You let out a breath that you didnt realize you were holding before putting down your quill, frowning at the spot of ink on you parchment, that had dripped from the quil. 
"How long have you known?" 
"Right before The holidays." 
"Rem that is so long! Why didnt you tell me that you know?!" You whisper yelled to make sure none of the other boys heard you.
"I wanted you to tell me when you were ready."
Your face softens. Of course. You dont answer.
"Sooooooo... you want to talk about it? He sure has you happy so he clearly cant be that bad." He says with a smile.
"You have no idea." You grin.
That conversation led to an almost 1 hour long talk of you talking about Regulus. How nice he is. How attractive, because god did you find him attractive. You told him about Regulus friends. How you think that at least Evan knows. Why Regulus is actually mad at Sirius. Everything. Because you knew that Remus wouldnt tell anyone. He has always been good at keeping secrets.
"You are so whipped for him, oh my god.." He told you at the end of your rant with a small chuckle.
You felt your face get hot. "Oh fuck off. Like you arent evenly as whipped for Sirius."
"Oh low blow." You just stuck out your toungue at him in response.
Remus then got a little more serious again. "Are you gonna tell him that you like him?"
You bit the inside of your lip. "I dont know Rem. I dont think he likes me like that and i dont wanna destroy something good yk."
"Yea i know what you mean." He looks over at Sirius.
You change the topic slightly. "So, uhh.. take the map tonight?"
He looks back at you with a grin. "Yea i got it. I'm gonna go back to the others. You finish that homework before you leave tonight."
"Yea, yea, whatever."
That night your walk to the astronomy tower is interrupted.
"Oi Potter!" You stop and turn around in surprise to see a ginning Evan Rosier.
"Rosier? What do you want?" 
"Oh nothing really" He is a bad liar. "Where're you headed to after curfew?"
You narrow your eyes at him. "I dont see why that is any of your business."
He knows. And you know that.
"Alright fine. I know you're meeting with Reg." You sigh and turn back around to continue your walk to the tower.  Evan quickly follows you.
"Listen, Reg kinda let it slip that you guys have been meeting up." 
"Okay? That still doesnt answer why youre talking to me right now."
"Well our Reggie seems pretty over the moon with you so i wanted to see for myself. He likes you you know. Like a lot." He is grinning from ear too ear now. 
But its what he said that makes you pause in your steps for a second. 
"What?"
"Oh yea, boy is smitten." He grins but immediately notices his mistake and his smile drops. "No wait. Forget i said that. You didnt hear anything okay?"
Your face is flushed now. Did Evan just tell you that Regulus likes you? Like... Like liked you?
"Uhm- Right."
"But just hypothetically... if you did hear something.... Would that something be reciprocated or not? Because if it was i wouldnt feel so bad for you hypothetically hearing something."
You dont even know what to say to that. You really didnt want to tell Evan about your crush on Regulus. Sure he trusts Evan but you really didnt know the guy.
"None of your business Rosier." You start walking again, while Evan just stays were he is. 
"Im taking that as a yes. Dont tell Reg that i hypothetically told you that. Im not ready to die yet." 
"Whatever Rosier!"
Your thoughts are racing. Regulus likes you. Except Evan is just trying to mess with you. But that doesnt seem like something he would do. Atleast not from what Regulus told you.
You are so in thought that you almost dont notice Regulus waiting when you reach the top of the tower.
You only snap out of it when you hear him call your name. 
"You good?"
"Hm? Oh yea. Sorry, just thinking." You sit down next to him, like always and pull out your pack of cigarettes. You kept stealing them from Sirius and he kept wondering how they keep dissappearing.
"About?" 
"Rosier just talked to me." You werent gonna tell him about the hypothetical thing Evan told you. But you were definetely gonna talk to him about the fact that Evan knew.
"Evan? Why?" He reached over, pulling a cigarette out of your pack without asking.
"He knows?" Was all you answered as you pull your lighter out of your jacket.
Regulus laughed nervously. "Uh- yea, i mightve slipped up on that. Sorry. I swear he wont tell anyone." 
"Its fine, you can tell your friends as long as they keep it to themselfs." You lift your lighter to light your own cigarette, when Regulus suddenly leans into your space to light his cigarette at the same time as yours. His face only centimeters away from yours. 
You flush. Fuck that was hot. He leans back with a slight grin. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.
"Any of your friends know?" He asks as if he didnt just do that. Fucker.
"Well.. Remus knows. I didnt tell him. He figured it out on his own." You stammer out. 
Goddamn it. 
"Lupin? Makes sense. Hes smart. He knows everything." 
"Yea except for the fact that Sirius is painfully obvious in love with him. Thats the one thing he doesnt seem to notice."
"Wait what?" He seems confused. Shit. Did you just out Sirius to his brother? You thought he knew.
"Did- Did you not know Sirius is gay?"
"No, that much is obvious." Oh thank god. "I meant, Those two arent a couple?"
That makes you laugh. 
"No! They've been in love with each other for years but are the only ones that havent realized it yet."
Regulus is both surprised and amused by that information.
"They had me fooled. I thought they've been together for forever." He's barely holding back his laughter.
"Nope just incedibly dense. Both of them." 
Neither of you can stop the laughter at that point.
You think that this might be the most genuine laughter and smile you've ever seen from Regulus. 
Your laughter dies down a little as you look at him. His head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open in a bright grin as he laughs. He looks beautiful.
You just stare for a few seconds, with a soft smile on your face.
He stops laughing and notices your staring.
"What?" He asks, smile still on his face.
"You're Beautiful." You answer without thinking about it.
When you see his pale face flush a light pink shade in surprise you realize what you just said and look away in embarrassment.
"I- Uh- I mean.." Fuckfuckfuck. Why did you just say that. Its true yea, but still. Oh my god. You are such an idiot.
"So are you." Those three words are all it takes for your rambling thoughts to dissapper fully. 
Brain empty.
You look back at him. His face is still a little pink but he has a little smile adorning his lips.
You dont know what to answer so you just stare in silence. Evans words from earlier come back to your mind.
Well our Reggie seems pretty over the moon with you ,so i wanted to see for myself. He likes you you know. Like a lot.
FUCK. You are a goner at this point.
Luckily for you Regulus seems to notice your inner turmoil and changes the conversation to something easier without a second thought.
"So, did you finish that potions homework yet?"
You are honestly thankful thatt he is just able to do that. Make you think about something else.
But for the rest of the night, hell for the rest of the week all you can think about is that moment.
The next day all your friends can tell that you are even more in thought than usual but they know better than to press on it.
Except for Remus. Between classes he pulls you aside to ask what happened. You tell him everything. 
From Evans slip up to Regulus calling you beautiful.
"Thats great! To me thats a clear sign that he likes you too." 
"But Rem what if i'm misinterpreting?!"
"You literally have confirmation from his best friend."
You dont have more time to talk about it because both of you have to get to your next classes.
But you keep thinking about the whole thing.
You could tell that something had changed between Regulus and you. Not in a bad way, you dont think.
You caught him looking at you more often. During meals, during class, during your meetings. You noticed because you were also looking at him more often. 
Eye contact for a few seconds to long and smiling before one of you would look away.
This went on for about two weeks. How often had you thought about kissing him during those two weeks? You had lost count. 
Then one night, Regulus had just made a joke that you had both laughed at for far to long, and when you finally stopped you realized how close you faces had gotten. 
Regulus had noticed too.
You were staring at each other, you eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips and back up. Your tongue darting out to wet your lips in a nervous tick as you caught his eyes looking at your lips too.
You subconciously moved even closer, noses now centimeters away from brushing against each other.
Regulus is the one that asks in almost a whisper "Can I kiss you?"
You cant get any words out so you simply nod your head ever so slightly.
Regulus leans towards you, closing the gap between you in a soft kiss. 
Its not heated, not rushed, its slow, soft and full with emotions.
Its perfect.
When you part, neither of want to fully pull back. Your noses still almost touching.
After a few second you gain your voice back and admit in a whisper.
"I really like you Regulus"
"Merlin I would hope so." He answers with chuckle. "I like you too."
You lean in to kiss him again. 
And again.
The rest of that night included a lot more kisses. As well as a talk about what you you were to each other. You were glad about that. Not knowing would have killed you probably.
You both came to the conclusion that you wouldnt be telling people (Except the ones that you trusted) but that you are in fact dating.
You wished that you could stay like that all night but unfortunately both of you needed sleep.
"Goodnight Reg" 
You kissed him one more time before starting to walk away, his hand in yours as long  as you could.
"Goodnight mon cherie." You smiled to yourself all the way back to your dorm.
The next morning Remus knew. He just knew it from one look at you. You were honestly so glad that he knew and you were able to tell him everything.
The last few months until summer went well. Hang outs, kisses and talking. Regulus also at some point properly introduced you to Evan. Honestly the two of you hit it of really well. 
The closer summer got, the more nervous both you and Regulus got. 
He would have to go back to his parents and you wouldnt be able to write each other without his parents asking questions.
You spent the last night before summer in eachothers arms, telling him to be careful. You didnt want to part from each other but reluctantly did so right before sunrise with a long, loving kiss.
That morning both of you kept stealing glances at each other, Remus doing his best to ease your worries.
On the platform you barely had enough time to see Regulus dissappear with his parents.
"You coming?" You turned around at James question.
"Yeah."
The first half of the summer was pretty uneventful, even though you still worried about Regulus.
For the second half, Remus had joined your family.
A week later you were helping your mother prepare dinner when you heard a soft knock on your front door.
Confused you turned toward Euphemia.
"Are we expecting someone mum?"
"Not that i know of. Would you mind checking who it is darling?"
"Sure." You quickly put down the plate you were previously holding and went to answer the door.
On the other side was the last person you expected to see. 
"Reggie?" Your voice filled with worry and almost a whisper. 
Regulus looked bad. Almost worse than Sirius when he appeared at your doorsttep a year and a half prior. He was bleeding and bruised, and looked like he was minutes away from keeling over.
His eyes met yours, filled with tears that were steadily flowing down his cheeks.
"I didnt know were else to go..." His voice was hoarse like he had been screaming and shaky from crying.
Before he had even finished his sentence he had stepped towards you, nearly falling into your arms. You hugged him back while pulling him back into the house with you with a small "cmon..".
Inside you let go of him, carefully guiding him into the living room and onto your couch only stopping near the kitchen to yell to your mother.
"Mum! We need the healing kit!"
Your mother immediately stuck her head out the kitchen door to see what was going on.
"Oh dear." She quickly left to get the kit.
Meanwhile you had carefully sat Regulus onto your couch,sitting next to him and holding his hand, scared that hugging would hurt him. You didnt need to ask what had happened. That much was pretty obvious.
"Regulus." You urged him to look at you with a small squeeze of your hand. "Hey.. Its gonna be okay. Your safe now. I promise."
He didnt answer but layed his forehead onto your shoulder and squezed you hand back. He was still crying although not as hysterically anymore.
Euphemia entered the room, healing kit in hand and carefully sat infront of Regulus on the floor. You had done this before so she knew to be careful as not to scare him.
"Regulus right?" Her voice was soft and quiet as if she was talking to a scared animal. He didnt react so you nodded at your mother to confirm that she had the right name.
"Regulus, I'm gonna heal you now. But i have to touch you for that. Is that alright with you?"
Regulus nodded ever so slightly with his head still against your shoulder. Euphemia caught the slight movement and immediately started to examine the extent of his injuries before starting to heal them one by one. It would take a while and she wouldnt be able to heal all of them fully right that moment. It had been the same with Sirius.
You quietly soothed him through all of it. Continuing to hold his hand, your thumb stroking over the back of his hands while you whispered comforting words into his ear.
Unfortunately in the middle of all this our brother and Sirius had decided to make their entrance.
"Hey mum, is dinner almost ready?" James asked while he and Sirius came down the stairs.
But before Euhemia could answer you heard both boys exclaim at the same time.
"What the fuck??!"
"Regulus?!"
Both of you looked up at them at the same time. Regulus face still stained with tears and blood.
Sirius made his way over in a instant, sitting beside your mother and grasping Regulus other hand in his bigger ones. His eyes were filled with worry. Of course they were. Even if him and Regulus werent on good terms, he was still his brother. And seeing him like that made him fall back into that role within seconds.
"Shit, what happened?? Did they..??" He didnt finish his sentence. He didnt have to. Because he also knew. 
Regulus started tearing up again and turned his head towards you to try and hide it.
You instantly hugged him against you in comfort, your second hand reaching up to the back of his head to cradle it against the junction of your neck and shoulder.
"Sssh, its okay Reg." Your face pressed against the side of his head a told him that.
Your eyes met James over Regulus head. He just stood there perplexed. Not only was Regulus fucking Black bleeding in his living room, but he also cuddled up close to his sister like they were close.
You knew that you had a lot of explaining to do later, but right now you had different priorities.
So you ignored James and continued talking to Reglulus in a quite voice to help him calm down, occasionally pressing little kisses to his temple and hair.
When your mother was done, she slowly got up. "I'll leave you guys alone for a bit. If you need something just call." 
She left the room at the same time as Remus entered, having come down to see what was taking the boys so long.
Remus quickly hid his surprise at the fact that Regulus was here and simply asked "Is he okay?".
You simply looked at him and said "He will be."
After that you all sat in silence for a few minutes, only disruted by Regulus quiet sniffeles.
When he had finally calmed down again he still refused to let go of you.
Remus was the first to speak up. 
"I think he should take a shower, get all that blood of him. Prongs, Padfoot, wait in the kitchen well join you in a minute." 
Both boys started to protest but Remus wasnt having it and herded them to the kitchen looking back at you for a second.
" I got it Rem."
You helped Regulus up, guiding him to the bathroom.
Once you were there you closed the door behind you and turned towards Regulus.
He grabbed you by your hips and pulled you towards him. Being close to you always comforted him.
You reached up to carefully hold his face in your hands. 
"Are you okay?" Worry was evident in your eyes and voice.
"Now that im with you i will be." He answered quietly, leaning down to lay his forehead against yours, his eyes closed.
Your quiet moment was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Hey." Remus. "Can i come in? I got you some clothes."
You pulled away from Regulus and opened the door, stepping aside slightly so Remus could hand Regulus the stack of dark clothing. 
"They're Sirius, so the should fit you." He then looked at you. "They have a lot of questions. You should come downsairs and talk to them."
You sigh. This was what you were scared of. "Okay, I'll be down is a few."
Remus nodded and sent one last smile at the two of you before leaving.
You turned towards Regulus again. "Do you need help with anything or are you good?" 
"I think im good" And then quieter. " Thank you. You dont understand how much all of this means to me." 
You smile at him and step closer to press a small kiss to his lips. "Of course. Im here for you. Always." Before leaving him to shower, closing the door behind you.
You take a deep breath before beginning your way to the kitchen. Halfway there you could already hear your brother.
"Why are you so calm about this Moony?! Did you know?!"
"Prongs will you calm down?"
"No-" 
All conversation halted when you entered the kitchen, all eyes turning to you.
James looked both confused and near furious and Sirius just looked confused. Like he wasnt sure what to make of the whole situation yet.
"Explain." Is all James said as he said down at the table and pointed at the chair across from him.
You said down and so did Sirius next to James, and Remus, next to you.
"After summer last year, I've started to go to the astronomy tower at night. Just for some peace and quiet, away from everything you know. 
One night he was there too. A few days after school start. He didnt really say anything. We just sat together. He didnt look good. Like, really tired and he had this giant bruise on his face. He had it hidden during the day, but that night i saw it. I didnt say anything about it, but i knew it was from his parents. 
After that night we just kept meeting there. We didnt talk, we really just sat in silence with each other. At some point i started to tell him about my day. He never said anything but he also kept coming."
You looked from James betrayed eyes down to your hands that layed intertwined with each other on the table.
"Then after christmas break, he looked so much worse than before. And that night he broke down. And he told me everything. About his parents. And how much worse the got after Sirius left." 
Your eyes flicked to Sirius face. Guilt written all over it.
"After that we just started talking to each other. About anything. He even introduced me to a few of his friends. They're honestlyy really nice. They dont support their parents ideas really. And a few months ago..."
You looked at Remus. His expression encouraging you to continue. 
Fuck it. Just rip of the bandaid.
"A few months ago we kissed and we've kinda been dating since then." Your eyes were glued to a little scratch in the surfice of the table. Refusing to meet James or Sirius glances.
"WHAT?!"
"Prongs. Calm down. I think they're good for each other. Its their life. Not yours." Thank merlin that Remus exists. You didnt know what you would do without him.
"How long have you known about is Moony?!"
Remus looked down for a second before meeting James eyes again. "Right before christmas."
James was about to answer something probably dumb, when Sirius suddenly turned towards you.
"I cant believe you wouldnt tell me you were in a relationship."
You chuckled nervously. "Thats the part that bothers you about this?"
"YES! And also I'm trying to focus on something that isnt the fact that your DATING MY LITLE BROTHER... so i dont freak out." You could tell that he was really trying.
"Im sorry i didnt tell you. I was just worried how you would react." You said apologetically.
"For good reason." Remus mumbled making you smile slightly.
James face softened. "Well.. as much as i dont agree with this. And i dont. For the record. Remus is right. Its your life. But if he tries to pull something you tell me alright? And ill take care of it."
"Oi thats my little brother your talking about!" That made you smile. At least they're trying. "But seriously, if he tries something you tell us." 
"He wont. But thank you." You smile at them. Remus laying his hand on your shoulder making you look over at him.
Then Sirius half joking, half serious voice makes you look at him again.
"But seriously my brother? Why? Out of everyone."
"Wow Sirius. I feel kind of attacked." At the sound of Regulus voice you quickly turn around.
He stood a meter behind your chair , black hair wet and tousled, his tall slim frame clad in a pair of black sweatpants and a black sabbath shirt. 
"Reg. How're you feeling?" Your voice was still filled with worry even though Regulus already looked a lot better. You held your hand out towards him, beconing him closer.
He took your hand, walking over to sit in the open chair to your left. Remus being on your right.
"Better." He said a soft smile on his face, as he just looked at you for a moment.
You smiled back at him before saying "I think we should get mum back and finish making dinner. You hungry?" 
"Starving." It sounded like a joke but honestly with his parents you could never know.
"Remus, make sure they're being civil okay?" You spoke as you got up, squeezing Regulus shoulder in passing. "I'll be right back."
Just as you left the room you could hear Sirius whine. "Moony we're always civil! I dont know what they mean."
"Yea yea Padfoot whatever you say." You could pracicaly hear the adoring smile in Remus voice.
Surprisingly when you came back with your mother, no one was dead. 
Your mother had pulled both you and James with her to help with the food, giving him the perfect oppertunity to keep asking you annoying questions about you and Regulus. 
Remus offered to set the table, giving Sirius and Regulus a chance to talk. Something they hadnt properly done in years. You didnt hear what they said but it ended in a hug so at least it was good.
Dinner was kind of awkward. Your Dad having to quickly be filled in on what happened when he arrived in the kitchen.
Regulus was given the guest room to sleep in, Remus had been sleeping in James and Sirius room anyways. So when you were sure he three boys were in bed you snuck into the guest room, cuddling up with Regulus under the blanket.
"I saw you speaking with Sirius earlier." He hummed in reply, his face hidden in your hair, his left arm around your waist, holding you close to him.
"Did you talk everything out?" You turn slightly in his hold so you could look a him. Your faces now right infront of each oher.
"Not everything. Thats gonna take a while. But he apologized. Its a start." His voice was low and tired.
" Thats good. I know how much you both missed each other." Again he simply hummed in response.
"I think we should sleep." You say with a grin. "You're barely awake anyway." Another hum.
You lean forward for a soft kiss. He kissed back. "Goodnight mon cherie."
You smile. "Sleep well Reggie." 
He cuddled back into you, his face against your neck, arms holding you close, legs tangled with yours.
You smile at his almost asleep form. 
He was okay. 
He was safe.
And he was yours.
And maybe. Just maybe. You would be okay.
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leahsdoodles · 1 year
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A late morning lie in the summer after 7th year because they deserve some rest :)
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starstruckwillows · 2 years
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♡ girls like me - s.b ♡
this is so self indulgent, i will cry if nobody reads it
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starstruckwillows 🂱
pairing; sirius black x reader
category; hurt/comfort, fluff
summary; you're used to being treated wrong, but sirius black isn't okay with that
warnings/content; self-deprecative talk, a bad date
other; fem!reader, post!hogwarts, insecure!reader, reader has a pet
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you weren't surprised to find that the tears stinging your eyes didn't fall.
it'd been years of practice now - as another partner blew you off for a more attractive side piece you'd pretended not to know about, the hurt didn't end in crying.
it ended in you cramming yourself into a telephone box to ring your best friend, marlene. she didn't pick up, and you then remembered she was out with her girlfriend. she'd told you this morning.
staring down at the last remnants of muggle money in your palm, as rain began assaulting the sides of the box, you shoved them in with new decision in your mind.
"hello?" the voice on the other end was groggy, and you silently cursed as you checked your watch. it was nearing midnight, of course you'd woken him up.
"sorry, i didn't realise the time..."
there was some shuffling over the phone, a new alertness to sirius as he answered, "ah, s'alright love. are you okay?"
you bit your lip, counting down the minutes you had left on the call in your hand, "not really," pathetic, you thought, "i- i'm in a telephone box right now, it's gonna hang up, but d'ya mind if i come over for a bit?"
anxiety coursed in your stomach as you internally chanted the words sirius had said to you a week prior, trying to soothe the guilt.
y'know you're welcome here anytime, m'never too busy for you.
sirius black may be cocky, and a bit of a flirt, but he loved his friends more than anything. he would drop anything for them.
"of course sweetheart, i'll unlock the door."
his flat was only an eight minute and twenty second walk from where you were.
even though you knew it was open, you knocked before pushing in, just to announce your presence.
sirius was over to you in a flash, shooting up from where he'd been sitting at his kitchen stool. he handed you a mug of tea before guiding you to the sofa.
once you were seated with your jacket drying on the radiator, and a blanket draped over your body in replacement, sirius took a seat on the armchair diagonal to you. he folded his legs underneath him, waiting for you to speak, when you were ready.
you nursed the drink with your cold hands, and he did the same, sipping coffee. he hated tea, he only stocked it for you.
"my date left half way through our meal to go home with our waitress. i sat there for twenty minutes, ate the jerk's pudding, then paid for it all and left."
sirius' jaw clenched at the lack of hope on your face, and he subconsciously pulled his hoodie string too tight.
with a sigh, "we're meeting again on sunday, and i just don't really want to go."
he frowned, "don't go. why would you go?"
"i... we haven't broken it off yet."
this was a common pattern sirius had recognized in you over the years, since hogwarts, even. you never ended things, you just waited until the other person did.
"well, maybe you should break it off, love. you said yourself you don't want to go. so don't."
you twirled the end of your damp hair, "i can't do that, siri. you know that."
he nodded, "i know, but i don't know why."
it was quiet for a moment, and he thought you weren't going to answer him, but you did.
"girls like me don't break up with people, sirius. we get dumped, over and over, until someone just decides it's easier to stay with us."
something you couldn't discern flickered over sirius' face.
he wanted to cut you off and tell you how much more you deserved, but he knew you needed to say this. you'd never said this to anyone, not even marlene.
your beautiful, charismatic best friend could never understand. the man before you, it felt weird to call someone you'd known since you were eleven a man, was both of those things, but you'd started talking now. you couldn't stop.
"and when someone decides that, they marry us for convenience, because their parents like us. we have a single child. they've always wanted two but the marriage doesn't make it that far, because they leave for the more attractive waitress or receptionist or phone operator."
the mood hung heavy in the air, and you were aware of how sad it was. you've done that, you thought, you've brought this sadness to sirius' home.
trying to lighten it up, you added, "or stripper."
sirius smiled slightly, seeing you needed that reassurance.
"you take your child back to your parents because you can't support the two of you alone, and they say they don't mind and they're happy to see you, but they constantly hold over your head how much of a success your siblings are. and they change the topic when their friends ask about you. and one day, if you were the first to have a child, the next grandchild will come along. but they'll call it the first. because you don't really count, so your child doesn't really count."
you were crying now. sirius wanted to cry too.
you'd been friends for eight years, he knew you held yourself to impossibly high standards. he knew you had an unhealthy lack of respect for your feelings. he knew you'd been hurt, and he knew you just wanted to be loved.
you only wanted to be loved.
but now wasn't the time for sirius to tell you he loved you - it wasn't the time to tell you that sure, he loved his friends, but he wouldn't keep tea in his cupboards for them.
it wasn't the time because not only would you think it was pity, he wanted you to understand you were perfect, whether someone loved you or not.
by this point, sirius had moved to sit with you, taking the remains of cold tea and putting your mug onto the table so he could pull you into his chest and tell you that you were worth much more than that.
you were worth the world to your friends, to your family.
to every stranger you smiled at, to everyone you held the door for and bid a good day.
to the people you helped in your job, even the ones who didn't deserve it sometimes.
to the stray animals you fed and helped rehome, to the one you hadn't been able to let go off and was waiting in your apartment now anyway.
to that young girl yesterday who you found crying in a public toilet, stricken with fear at the thought of asking a stranger for sanitary products.
"you make every life you touch better, darling, and if there's people who can't see that for themselves, it is their loss, you hear me?"
you tried to hear him. he helped you try. every day, for weeks, until one day, he showed up at your door, patted your favourite furry friend on the head, and presented you with a boquet of flowers.
before he even asked, you knew what he was going to say. a week ago, you may have hated yourself for hoping, thinking it was stupid to assume he would be interested in someone like you. except you felt better now.
besides, sirius black hated flowers, almost as much as he hated tea.
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taglist:
@anordinarymuse @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kingshitonly @slut4benbarnes
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ellecdc · 2 months
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Can i request something bit angsty? 🥺 its totally fine if you dont wanna write it tho!
I was thinking, wolfstar x reader got into an argument and reader started to occlude and the boys got scared they might be out of line bcs she only occlude when shes really hurting?
this is my SHIT - love me some hurt/comfort. thanks for requesting, lovie 🫶
poly!wolfstar x fem!readerCW: hurt/comfort, arguing, mention of past family discourse, toxic family memories
“I’m sorry. You did what?” Sirius beseeched, walking into the living room from the kitchen and interrupting the points (arguments) you and Remus were each in the process of making. You gave him an unimpressed look, knowing he wasn’t actually asking you to repeat yourself, he just couldn’t believe what he had heard.
“She gave Mary-Ella over a grand.” Remus muttered bitterly.
“I did not give Mary-Ella money, I loaned her money.” You were quick to correct.
Sirius just scoffed. “Sure you did, dollface.” He sneered, making his usual pet-name burn to the touch. “You are never going to see that money again.”
“What were you thinking?” Remus implored.
“I was thinking that my friend was in a bind and needed help. I hardly think that’s a crime.” 
“You didn’t just loan a little bit of money, though. You loaned a lot of money to a friend who is not reliable in the slightest.” Remus asserted.
“We have been working so hard trying to save up to move. To move closer to Diagon Alley so that Remus can be closer to work, and we can finally get out of my uncles flat.” Sirius added.
“I know we’ve been working hard, Sirius. I know this because I too have been working hard. But I’m not going to watch my friend struggle when there’s something I could do to help!”
“This choice impacted all of us. You had no right to make this decision on your own.”
It was your turn to scoff as you turned to glare at Remus incredulously. You had been trying to stay patient, knowing that this close to the moon, Remus was feeling extra sensitive. But him ganging-up on you with Sirius quickly found what little patience you had running thin. “I 'had no right' to make a decision about money that I made on my own?”
“You have no ground to stand on, buttercup. You’re now out more than a grand because of this choice; we’re all out more than a grand because of your choice.” Sirius growled, tone full of derision.
“If the roles were reversed, Mary-Ella would help me out!” You tried to reason, only for Remus to bark a laugh.
“That doesn’t even matter, dove. Because you’d never be in her position and likewise, she’d never be in yours. She’s irresponsible, unreliable, and a mooch.”
You tried to ignore the burning sensation in your sinuses as you spoke to the back of Remus’ head; he apparently had grown so disgusted with you that he couldn’t even look at you anymore. 
“I don’t like you talking about my friends like that. I don’t understand why we’re making such a big deal about this, I jus-” but you were cut off as Remus stood abruptly and turned on you. 
“We’re making this a big deal because it is a big deal!” he bellowed. “You leave this apartment in the morning and it’s like Sirius and I don’t exist anymore. You conduct yourself like some single woman with no responsibility to anyone else but herself.”
“You’re being selfish. You can’t possibly expect to drop a bomb on us like this and, what, expect us to just reply with ‘yes dear’? You fucked up, Y/N.” Sirius added, arms crossed defensively over his chest and cold silver eyes glared daggers that permeated your entire being. Remus carried on, unperturbed by the effects this conversation was having on you.
You felt like you were seventeen again, like you were eleven, nine, six. You felt like a babe whose hand had been slapped for reasons beyond your comprehension.
Do you ever stop and think about the consequences, Y/N?
You were sitting at the dining room table as your father lashed you with his words, each sentence punctuated with the slamming of his fists on the table. You were standing on the platform having just reunited with your parents after the school year as your mother’s claws dug into your arms, warning you that punishment was to come later if you didn’t smarten up. You were cowering in the backyard as your father screamed at you in front of the entire neighbourhood – a free show for all to enjoy. 
You think crying will earn you any sympathy here? You’re a manipulative little witch if you think that will work on me. Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about. 
You felt naked – like your figurative clothes had been violently ripped from your body – and there you stood, stripped bare for all to leer at. Standing before two people...who were meant to love you unconditionally...as they laced their words with venom and spat vitriol at you.
You couldn’t even hear the point Remus was trying to make anymore. It didn’t matter anyway.
He hated you. You were hated. You were a disappointment, a burden, unwanted.
But you couldn’t cry – could never cry. You’d just be manipulating them. You were deceitful. Emotions were deceitful. The way you felt was wrong. And they were right.
Always right. 
So, you did what you always did; you made it quiet. 
You began layering rows of stones around your being. Protection. Space. Distance. Safety.
They couldn’t hurt you from all the way in here, not from the other side of your wall. You’d be safe here. Here in the quiet.
It was safe in the quiet. 
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Sirius felt disgraceful at how long it took him to notice the signs of you pulling away from the conversation. Away from them. Away from him.
Remus – always more sensitive than the two of you when it came to the likes of money, combined with feeling extra flustered with the upcoming full moon – had no reason to expect nor recognize signs of occlusion. 
Suddenly, Sirius was fourteen again. Walburga was standing over him with her wand aimed at his chest, but all he could see was Regulus. He had prayed at the time that his brother could hear him begging in his mind:
Turn it off, Reg. Just turn it off. It can’t hurt you if you turn it off. 
Sirius himself sat in an almost constant state of occlusion during his fifth year, knowing somewhere deep in his gut that the beginning of the end of his life as the heir of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black (or the end of his life in general) was near. 
Growing up wasn’t a whole lot easier for you, it seemed. And he knew that when things got to be too much, you did what you needed to do to protect yourself.
He suddenly hated himself. You weren’t supposed to need to protect yourself from him and Remus. It was their job to protect you; just like you always protected them. 
How you protected Remus from wasting away on the days leading up to and recovering from the full moon. You never let him go hungry or thirsty, you always made sure the space was clean and tidy, and you never let him fall into his typical pre- and post-moon self-loathing.
And you protected Sirius from himself; from saying things that he wouldn’t be able to take back, from being the worst version of himself, from losing you and Remus completely. 
He didn’t deserve you.
You didn’t deserve this.
For fuck’s sake all you had been doing was being kind.
Being a good friend, someone that others could rely on, protecting people who meant so much to you. 
All you were doing was being your kind, courteous, protective, generous self that Remus and Sirius had fallen in love with from the very start.
“Moony!” Sirius pleaded, causing the lycanthrope to pause in his tangent. You didn’t even flinch at the sudden change in the atmosphere as Remus looked at Sirius bewilderedly. 
“We’ve lost her.” Sirius murmured quietly, causing Remus to spin to observe you. 
“Well...” Remus began, still struggling to shake off his anger and the need to argue. “But I-”
“It’s enough, Remus.” Sirius hissed quietly, staring at Remus with a look he hoped conveyed no nonsense.
He apparently succeeded as Remus let out whatever breath he’d been holding as he turned again to face you.
“Dove, I’m sorry.” Remus whispered as he tried to move towards you, but you instinctively took a step back to maintain the distance between you; your arms wrapped around your middle protectively as if that was all that was holding you together. 
Sirius’ heart felt like it split in two – and based off of the look on Remus’ face, he wasn’t fairing any better.
“Y/N?” Sirius tried. You didn’t turn to look at him, but you hummed in quasi-acknowledgement.
“Can you look at me?” He tried quietly, but you shook your head no. 
Remus made a pained sound as he tried to move towards you again, ducking his head down in an attempt to make eye contact with you. You didn’t back away from him this time, but your arms tightened in their hold around your middle.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I...I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I’m...I was out of line.”
“Come back?” Sirius pleaded. “Please.”
You took a deep breath and turned your face towards your boyfriends, but Sirius could tell your eyes were still foggy – you were still hiding.
“We won’t talk about it anymore. That conversation is done.” Sirius said.
“But-” you started, voice grating from the tightness in your throat, but he cut you off.
“The conversation is done. You did what you thought was right, you were being your kind lovely self, helping your friend when they needed you. We shouldn’t have yelled at you, sweets. I’m sorry.”
Remus made another pained sound and moved closer to you again.
“Dovey, I’m so sorry. Please, can I- would you like a hug?”
Sirius watched as you looked at Remus, seeming to weigh your options before you nodded once at him. Remus needn’t any more invitation and quickly (though gently) made for you, enveloping you in his arms. 
The three of you stayed like that – Remus with his arms around you, you with your arms around yourself and your face pushed into his chest, and Sirius standing helplessly at the side – before Sirius started to notice some tension leaving your shoulders.
“Why’d you go?” He asked you quietly, gently placing a hand in the middle of your shoulder blades and rubbing in a way he hoped was soothing.
“I didn’t want to cry.” You admitted into Remus’ chest, neither boy missing how tight your voice seemed to be, even as your voice barely raised above a whisper. 
“Oh, dolly. Just cry. Cry, okay? Make us feel like tossers, but don’t leave.” Sirius said.
“I didn’t want you to feel bad.” You muttered wetly, finally turning so Sirius could see your red and wet face. 
“But we deserved it. Oh, my love.” Remus cooed as he all but picked you up and locked your legs around his hips, forcing you to move your grip from around yourself to around him.
“I’m not s’posed to make you cry. I’m s’posed to make you smile.” He muttered pitifully, pressing his lips into your hair.
“And cum.” Sirius spoke in the same pitiful tone, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead.
You laughed wetly and the last of your occlusion appeared to slip away which was what Sirius had been aiming for. It didn’t make him feel all that much better though.
“Oh, my girl. I’m so sorry, Pads is right. You were just being your lovely self, and I’m a bastard.”
Sirius watched as your brows furrowed. “You’re not a bastard.”
“No,” Sirius agreed readily, “he was just being a bastard. Both of us were. Do you think you can forgive us?”
You nodded quickly but Remus tsked in response.
“Don’t let us off so easily, dovey. Make us pay for it. What do you need? Do you need a foot rub? You want cake? Ice cream? What about a kitten? You’ve always wanted a kitten.”
You had been shaking your head at everything Remus said until the last one, your curiosity obviously piqued.
Fuckin’ hells, Sirius thought, if she gets a kitten everytime one of us acts like an arse, we’re going to be overrun with cats by next month. 
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moonstruckme · 1 month
Note
Hi! I would die for a poly!marauders x reader where reader gets a bloody nose and almost passes out. This has happened to me and I wish I had the boys 😅 of course only if this sounds interesting!! 🫶🏼
Thanks for requesting love!
cw: blood, near fainting
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 642 words
You’re mid-story when Remus’ expression shifts. 
“And he didn’t even…ask…” You trail off as James’ eyes flare suddenly. Remus is scanning the room like he’s searching for something. “...what?” 
“I’m just looking for the tissues…” 
You feel your expression crease.
“Don’t worry,” says Sirius, in a no-nonsense tone you don’t hear often. “Just pinch your nose shut and close your eyes, okay?” 
“What…” You touch your fingertips to your nose, and the second the bright red pads come into your view you’re overcome by a wave of nausea. 
“Don’t, don’t.” James takes your hand, bloody fingers and all, hiding them away. Your head fills with cotton. Remus gets up and goes into the kitchen. “Baby, that’s what we’re trying to keep from happening.” 
The feel of something splattering on your thigh has you looking down on instinct. You barely process the bead of blood curving down your thigh before your vision starts to blacken. 
“Okay.” A hand cups the back of your head, cold fingers pressing into your scalp as it takes your weight, and another pinches your nostrils. “None of that, doll, c’mon. You’re okay.” 
You blink a couple of times before the fuzzy darkness clears enough for you to see Sirius in front of you. He’s the picture of calm, while James’ eyes are magnified cartoonishly wide by his glasses. It takes you a second to figure out you need to breathe through your mouth. 
Sirius nods as you inhale. “Good,” he says. “Just keep your eyes on me, doll.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” James quips, and Sirius’ lips quirk but he doesn’t take his eyes from yours. 
“It’s a happy consequence.” 
“Sorry,” you say, voice sounding whiny all stuffed up. 
“You’re good,” James reassures you. “Rem’s gonna get you cleaned up in just a second. It seems we’ve misplaced the tissues.” 
“Found them!” Remus announces from down the hall. “Who put them under the bed?” 
You and Sirius look to James. He shrugs, sheepish. “That’s my bad,” he admits. “My allergies were bothering me, and I didn’t feel like getting up.” 
“Hoarder,” Sirius accuses fondly, letting go of your nose briefly to allow Remus to swipe at the skin beneath it. 
“Close your eyes,” Remus warns softly, and this time you listen before you can see the tissue. You feel him blot at your nostrils and then wipe up the blood on your hand and leg, keeping your eyes squeezed shut tight. “Good girl.” The lid of the trash bin clangs shut. “You can open now.” 
You replace Sirius’ hand with your own, and he gives you a cautious look as he lets go slowly. “You sure you’ve got it?” He raises an eyebrow at you. “I don’t mind.” 
You smile at him, closed-lipped and trying not to think about what you’re staunching. “I’m good, thanks.” 
Remus sits back down with a heavy sigh. James nods his agreement heartily. 
“Since when do you get nosebleeds?” he asks you. 
“Since now, I guess,” you say. “It’s not my new favorite thing.” 
You’ve always fainted at the sight of blood, so spontaneous bleeding is probably one of the top ten worst things that can happen to you. 
“It’s a bit worrisome,” Remus agrees. “What happens if you’re driving and your nose starts bleeding again? You can’t very well pass out behind the wheel.” 
You level him with a deadpan look. “I’ll try to refrain.” 
“It won’t happen again,” Sirius says surely. He’s eyeing you in a peculiar way, somehow both assessing and decided at once. “We’ll figure out what caused it, and make sure it doesn’t.” 
You look to Remus for an eye roll, but both of your boyfriends look about as trusting in this plan as Sirius. 
“How?” you ask. 
He gives you an indulgent smile. “Don’t worry about it, baby. We’re not gonna let anything happen to you.”
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reysdriver · 1 year
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Wife | S.B.
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(part 1 to this fic) You and Sirius had been married in a wedding arranged by your pureblood parents, and he's the only one you think to go to after running away — sirius x fem!pureblood!reader hurt/comfort
warnings: abusive families (for both reader and Sirius), forced marriage, abuse, mentions of injury, angst
words: 2k
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A frown sat still across your face while your mother tightly strung up the thin braids in your hair with bobby pins. You held back winces every time the metal poked into your already-pained scalp.
She fixed the last braid into the hairdo, then stood in front of you, judging coldly.
"Am I presentable, Mother?" You asked, snark laced in every word.
Normally, you would never dare speak to a relative like this, but today was your wedding day. Your bags were already packed for school in a week, so you wouldn't face her for a while. And, in two years, you were to graduate from Hogwarts and move in with the Blacks, so you really had nothing to lose when it came to your awful pureblood family.
"This attitude is exactly why your marriage prospects were so slim." She tells you. 
They were slim, and your family had warned you several times while arranging the marriage that you would have to be with him forever. They said a divorce would be twice as shameful for your family name since you wouldn't be able to find a new husband. There was a limited dating pool for sacred twenty eight Gryffindor teens who were openly opposed to their family values. 
You tried not to feel upset at the memory of all those times your family had called you a disgrace, claiming that's why you and Sirius Black were perfect for eachother. 
"Well, there's nothing else we can do before the wedding, we should be on our way to the ceremony as soon as possible." Your mother announced curtly. 
You stood up, your giant wedding dress feeling heavier than ever. You placed the veil over your face, the thin material clouding your vision slightly. 
There was no turning back now. There was never any turning back since you had little say in the whole matter, but now there was really no escape. 
Your mother surveyed your look one more time, lacking any visible emotion that should be present on one's daughter's wedding day.
"Don't slouch or speak without being spoken to. Don't embarrass our family name." She ordered.
Although you were young and had no intentions of really being married, you were counting down the days until you would be away from your family.
You said nothing in return as you started to walk towards the door. Your father was standing just outside, ready to walk you down the aisle.
He didn't say anything to you that wasn't already said by your mother, which made you want to roll your eyes harder than anything that day.
Once you started walking down the carpeted aisle, you felt as if all sound flushed from the room. It wasn't that the sounds had really stopped, it was just that you were so nervous, you couldn't process any noise.
Sirius looked handsome, to say the least. You felt slightly guilty for focusing on his looks, but you two were getting married. You were in the same classes at school and you had caught yourself gazing at him in the common room a few times, but never thought about marrying him before your parents set it up.
Your father let go of your arm, and you stepped up to the altar, parallel to Sirius. You looked into his captivating eyes and accepted your fate.
✦✧✦✧✦
Even though you were married, you barely spoke to Sirius. A few words during classes or in the common room, but that was it. You both thought it was best to push each other away and pretend everything was normal for as long as you could. A kiss at the wedding and a long conversation when you were together in his room after the wedding was all that had happened, and it was how you wanted to keep things for the time being. 
Sirius was nowhere near the husband your parents had always wanted for you, but you were at a loss. You tried one last time to think of solutions as you stood on the Potters' porch. You knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. 
An older woman came to the door; you knew it was James' mother since you had seen her on Platform 9 ¾ several times before. She looked shocked at your appearance, and you couldn't blame her. Your eyes red and exhausted, multiple cuts on your face, and blotchy skin caused by a mix of snow and crying. 
"Is Sirius here?" You asked with a sob before she could say anything. 
"Oh dear, come inside, love. Quickly, you look like you've just been dragged here from across the country." The woman placed a hand on your shoulder, ushering you inside her house. 
You let out another sob and more tears started falling down your face the moment she closed the door and you felt the house's heat. "I'm sorry." You mumbled. 
"Don't be sorry, darling. Just come with me so I can make you a nice cup of hot tea." 
While she walked you to the kitchen, she had introduced herself formally. She also recognised you, knowing your name and likely more about your family. It was rare for a person of pureblood status to not recognise you, so you weren't fazed by it. 
You were sitting at her kitchen table, and she handed you a steaming teacup. You took a sip, ignoring how painfully hot it was against your tongue and your throat. 
"Thank you." You sniffled, taking another scalding sip. "I don't mean to burden you, I just need to see Sirius. Please tell me he's here."
"He is, yes. May I ask why you need to see him?" She asked, standing up and walking towards a set of stairs. 
You looked down shamefully, almost embarrassed to admit it. 
"I'm his wife."
Euphemia's eyes widened, and although she had been nothing but sweet to you, you were afraid she was judging. You hoped she would understand as a fellow pureblood, but you knew that your families were vastly different and she likely chose her husband for love. 
She opened her mouth, and you half-expected her to string insults at you and your family. Instead, she looked to the top of the stairs and called for Sirius. "There's a girl here who's asking for you." 
You heard a laugh from James and Sirius, followed by two sets of footsteps coming down the stairs. When they reached Euphemia, she directed Sirius to you, telling him 'your wife is in the kitchen'. 
Sirius walked into the room, and he looked heartbroken to see you. It took just barely a glance for him to understand what was happening. You were going through the same thing he was just a year ago. 
Your head dropped, once again feeling a needless feeling of shame overtake you. 
"I'm sorry." You mumbled as he walked towards you. You weren't quite expecting him to embrace you in a tight hug, but he did, and you weren't going to push him away. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I just had to get away from them. I didn't know where else to go." 
He placed a gentle kiss on your hairline as he rubbed your back. "Don't be sorry, love. I understand. You made the right decision to come here."
He unwrapped his arms from around your torso and looked at your shaking figure. You could see he pitied you, and that felt awful. You had been raised to never let anyone take pity on you. 
Euphemia stood at the other side of the room with a raised eyebrow. "Sirius Black, why didn't you say anything about being married?"
He turned to her, about to explain when you rushed to his defence. "It's not his fault, Mrs. Potter. We both just wanted to pretend it never happened for as long as possible. That was a decision we both made right away."
"We don't wear the rings at school, and we barely even talk to each other." He added. 
"Well, that's a problem." Euphemia told him. "If you had shown you cared about this poor girl, maybe she could have escaped her family before it escalated to this! You could have taken her with you when you first came here."
Neither you or Sirius were going to argue with the woman. She walked towards you with concern in her eyes, then stopped to examine you just as Sirius had done a few seconds previous. 
"We need to get you cleaned up, healed in any way we can, and into some warm clothes. You can stay for as long as you'd like."
You didn't want the family to go through any trouble for you. "No, I don't want to be a burden."
"Stop that, darling. You should stay here, we'll be more than happy to give you anything you need. And what you need first is to get healed, come with me. I can fix you up just fine."
You stood up, ready to go wherever she wanted to take you, but Sirius placed a gentle hand on your wrist that made you shift your attention to him. 
"I can take care of her, Effie." He told her. 
"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius. As much as you want to help, this is important and needs to be taken care of by someone with experience."
"I do have experience. I was in her place just a year ago. I know exactly what she's going through." 
His hand kept its place on your wrist, but he loosened his grip. His eyes were soft and gentle. Both you and Euphemia could tell her really did want to help. He was almost pleading silently, and who were you to decline your husband of that?
Before you could accept his offer, Euphemia spoke up for you, not willing to argue any more as long as it helped you. 
"Alright. I'll get James to make up a guest room for you, dear."
She walked ahead, instructing James to prepare a place for you to sleep while you and Sirius stayed back on the main floor. 
Breaking the tense silence between you, Sirius apologised. "I'm sorry, she's right, I knew what your family was like and I left you there. I should have cared for you." 
"Don't be sorry. You didn't need to do anything, I wasn't your responsibility."
"You're my wife." He said, soft desperation soaking that last word. "And I'm your husband."
"Sirius, we're strangers, classmates at best. We don't even speak at school, let alone invite each other to run away to safety together. Our laundry may have been mixed up before, but other than accidentally sharing ties, we're not close at all."
"I wish we could be. I always have." 
You were shocked by the confession. For practically being strangers, that was quite an admittance of feelings. You could already feel the tears coming back to your eyes and you didn't quite know why they were so insistent on falling now. 
He continued on. "I was too proud to admit it before. All because you were like me and our families chose us for each other. I've always watched you read in the common room and tried to muster up whatever I needed to ask you to be partners in class, but I was just so focused on going against my family to get close to you. I'm sorry." 
"Again, you don't need to be sorry." You said. You weren't sure that was true, but you had thought the exact same thing about him a few times throughout the years, so you couldn't blame him at all. "I just want to go upstairs, and we can talk more later."
"Okay, let's get you fixed up, then."
He gave you another sweet kiss on the forehead, then he wrapped his arm around you while you walked upstairs together. 
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sitorarts · 8 months
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„you'll get better soon
'Cause you have to“
some classic wolfstar hurt/comfort aka the aftermath of a rough full moon
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