#sirius black x

[starstruckwillows]

♡ girls like me - s.b ♡

this is so self indulgent, i will cry if nobody reads it

starstruckwillows 🂱

pairing; sirius black x reader

category; hurt/comfort, fluff

summary; you're used to being treated wrong, but sirius black isn't okay with that

warnings/content; self-deprecative talk, a bad date

other; fem!reader, post!hogwarts, insecure!reader, reader has a pet

you weren't surprised to find that the tears stinging your eyes didn't fall.

it'd been years of practice now - as another partner blew you off for a more attractive side piece you'd pretended not to know about, the hurt didn't end in crying.

it ended in you cramming yourself into a telephone box to ring your best friend, marlene. she didn't pick up, and you then remembered she was out with her girlfriend. she'd told you this morning.

staring down at the last remnants of muggle money in your palm, as rain began assaulting the sides of the box, you shoved them in with new decision in your mind.

"hello?" the voice on the other end was groggy, and you silently cursed as you checked your watch. it was nearing midnight, of course you'd woken him up.

"sorry, i didn't realise the time..."

there was some shuffling over the phone, a new alertness to sirius as he answered, "ah, s'alright love. are you okay?"

you bit your lip, counting down the minutes you had left on the call in your hand, "not really," pathetic, you thought, "i- i'm in a telephone box right now, it's gonna hang up, but d'ya mind if i come over for a bit?"

anxiety coursed in your stomach as you internally chanted the words sirius had said to you a week prior, trying to soothe the guilt.

y'know you're welcome here anytime, m'never too busy for you.

sirius black may be cocky, and a bit of a flirt, but he loved his friends more than anything. he would drop anything for them.

"of course sweetheart, i'll unlock the door."

his flat was only an eight minute and twenty second walk from where you were.

even though you knew it was open, you knocked before pushing in, just to announce your presence.

sirius was over to you in a flash, shooting up from where he'd been sitting at his kitchen stool. he handed you a mug of tea before guiding you to the sofa.

once you were seated with your jacket drying on the radiator, and a blanket draped over your body in replacement, sirius took a seat on the armchair diagonal to you. he folded his legs underneath him, waiting for you to speak, when you were ready.

you nursed the drink with your cold hands, and he did the same, sipping coffee. he hated tea, he only stocked it for you.

"my date left half way through our meal to go home with our waitress. i sat there for twenty minutes, ate the jerk's pudding, then paid for it all and left."

sirius' jaw clenched at the lack of hope on your face, and he subconsciously pulled his hoodie string too tight.

with a sigh, "we're meeting again on sunday, and i just don't really want to go."

he frowned, "don't go. why would you go?"

"i... we haven't broken it off yet."

this was a common pattern sirius had recognized in you over the years, since hogwarts, even. you never ended things, you just waited until the other person did.

"well, maybe you should break it off, love. you said yourself you don't want to go. so don't."

you twirled the end of your damp hair, "i can't do that, siri. you know that."

he nodded, "i know, but i don't know why."

it was quiet for a moment, and he thought you weren't going to answer him, but you did.

"girls like me don't break up with people, sirius. we get dumped, over and over, until someone just decides it's easier to stay with us."

something you couldn't discern flickered over sirius' face.

he wanted to cut you off and tell you how much more you deserved, but he knew you needed to say this. you'd never said this to anyone, not even marlene.

your beautiful, charismatic best friend could never understand. the man before you, it felt weird to call someone you'd known since you were eleven a man, was both of those things, but you'd started talking now. you couldn't stop.

"and when someone decides that, they marry us for convenience, because their parents like us. we have a single child. they've always wanted two but the marriage doesn't make it that far, because they leave for the more attractive waitress or receptionist or phone operator."

the mood hung heavy in the air, and you were aware of how sad it was. you've done that, you thought, you've brought this sadness to sirius' home.

trying to lighten it up, you added, "or stripper."

sirius smiled slightly, seeing you needed that reassurance.

"you take your child back to your parents because you can't support the two of you alone, and they say they don't mind and they're happy to see you, but they constantly hold over your head how much of a success your siblings are. and they change the topic when their friends ask about you. and one day, if you were the first to have a child, the next grandchild will come along. but they'll call it the first. because you don't really count, so your child doesn't really count."

you were crying now. sirius wanted to cry too.

you'd been friends for eight years, he knew you held yourself to impossibly high standards. he knew you had an unhealthy lack of respect for your feelings. he knew you'd been hurt, and he knew you just wanted to be loved.

you only wanted to be loved.

but now wasn't the time for sirius to tell you he loved you - it wasn't the time to tell you that sure, he loved his friends, but he wouldn't keep tea in his cupboards for them.

it wasn't the time because not only would you think it was pity, he wanted you to understand you were perfect, whether someone loved you or not.

by this point, sirius had moved to sit with you, taking the remains of cold tea and putting your mug onto the table so he could pull you into his chest and tell you that you were worth much more than that.

you were worth the world to your friends, to your family.

to every stranger you smiled at, to everyone you held the door for and bid a good day.

to the people you helped in your job, even the ones who didn't deserve it sometimes.

to the stray animals you fed and helped rehome, to the one you hadn't been able to let go off and was waiting in your apartment now anyway.

to that young girl yesterday who you found crying in a public toilet, stricken with fear at the thought of asking a stranger for sanitary products.

"you make every life you touch better, darling, and if there's people who can't see that for themselves, it is their loss, you hear me?"

you tried to hear him. he helped you try. every day, for weeks, until one day, he showed up at your door, patted your favourite furry friend on the head, and presented you with a boquet of flowers.

before he even asked, you knew what he was going to say. a week ago, you may have hated yourself for hoping, thinking it was stupid to assume he would be interested in someone like you. except you felt better now.

besides, sirius black hated flowers, almost as much as he hated tea.

taglist:

@anordinarymuse @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kingshitonly @slut4benbarnes

[friendly-philosopher]

Why do people hate Remdora so muchhhhh?!!!!! I don't understand!!!!! They are one of the cutest couples! I ship Wolfstar too.......But just because you like one ship, doesn't mean you have to spread hate on another shipppp!!

[aphrcdites]

the bond between a girl and their favorite fictional man is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object

[thatboisus]

“english isn’t my first langua—“ say no more.

[rosieandthethorns]

i don't WANT to read smut right now

i WANT to read a passionate, poetic, jaw dropping, tears streaking down my face, heart wrenching, giggle inducing, feet kicking, cringy yet amazing, gorgeous story written by someone who apologizes for english not being their first language(they're the best writers ever) which has 4 chapters and then makes me scream because it hasnt been updated in months and the author is mia

[natti-ice]

18+ mdni

Me: “fuck, I need his cock”

Him: *is literally just words on tumblr*

[not-rab]

James: How did you get your brother to co-operate with you?

Sirius: I threatened to reveal his dark secret.

James: Which is what?

Sirius: I have no idea, I was bluffing, but it must be something horrible.

James *nervous sweating*:

[starchaserfanatic]

My Friends/Family: Hey can I see your phone? I need to look something up.

Me, closing like 80+ Ao3 Tabs as fast as I can:

[bethsvrse]

pov: I find a good smut fic but it includes a daddy kink

[lovelylily16]

I physically need someone to draw this as wolfstar🙏🏼

[addsalwayssick]

Remus opened his letter, surprised when it appeared to be a howler. The last time he’d heard one was the day before Sirius got disowned back in 5th year.

He was in the dining hall for breakfast, sitting at the staff table. He watched as Harry and Hermione plotted, looking anxious. He blew it off, as it seemed Harry was always weary.

“A howler,” Snape sneered from beside him.

“Astute observation, Severus.” Remus told him, nodding at him.

Remus disregarded Snape, and focused on the howler. There was no name on it, so it was possible it was from a student playing a prank. In good nature, for the prankingnostalgia, Remus opened it.

There was silence for a moment before a loud, booming voice started to yell. “DARLINGGGGG, GUESS WHOS BACK FROM JAIL” And it was his Sirius Black. And he knew they would find each other again.

[starchaser5]

Remus: why is Regulus rolling on the floor laughing? And what happened to James's head?

Sirius: *sighs* James was about to hit his head on the door frame, so I told him to duck and he quacked at me.

Sirius: and then he hit his head.

Remus: *wheezes*

[stareggie]

remus: men have prostates in their ass for a reason.

sirius: you used to be shy, now you’re a whore.

remus: character development.

[thatboisus]

he wants me so bad (he’s fictional and i read a fanfic about him)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Falling asleep in the dorms…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I like Evans anymore.”

“Shit mate, took you long enough.”

“Heh. Yeah.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah, Prongs?”

“I might like boys. Also. Like as well as girls.”

“Join the club, Prongs. Just stay the fuck away from Moony.”

“Noted.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah, mate?”

“What if I like a particular bloke?”

“…it’s not me, is it? Because Moony would probably kill you.”

“No.”

….

“Sirius?”

“Yes, Prongs?”

“It’s your brother.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, I was just fucking with you before.”

“Right.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yes Prongs?”

“That’s…it’s okay?”

“Yes, James. I’d rather it be you than anyone else, to be honest.”

“Alright.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Go the fuck to sleep, Prongs. We’ll come up with a plan to woo him tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

….

“James?”

“What’s up, Padfoot?”

“Take care of him, alright?”

“…..yeah. Yeah, of course.”

[natti-ice]

A man with a pretty face and a slutty waist.