#so i can't really find a comfortable register to settle in !!

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Current Top 10 Bleachers Songs

Though I can't exactly say I grew up with Bleachers--I was 14 when I first heard of them--I feel like I did. Maybe it's because I actually did grow up with Bruce Springsteen, and didn't someone once call Bleachers a glorified Springsteen tribute band? I couldn't find the original reference, but I love Bleachers almost as much as Springsteen (who's only my favorite artist ever--sorry, Alba Reche, you're a close second I promise!!!), so I can't say that label is a bad thing. The Springsteen energy happening in their music is FANTASTIC, with some interesting electronic influences to spice things up! They released a new album last Friday, so it's time to do a top-10-so-far before I find any new favorites :)

1. Wild Heart

This is for all the kids who lived off the Love, Simon soundtrack in eighth grade, who huddled in their room and listened to "Wild Heart" over and over and over again and tried to work up the courage to ask their parents to take them to see the movie... but what if they guess? What if they figure out I'm gay? I'll just watch the trailers over and over again, listen to the soundtrack on repeat... Look, I like so much about "Wild Heart", especially the echo-y vocal effects and the way the chorus crashes in and the grumbling bass and the outro, but really this is my favorite Bleachers song as a salute to my past self. I'm sorry. And thank you. And I'm so proud of you.

2. How Dare You Want More

This song is layers and layers and layers, it's all the chaos and glee of a really great party, and I feel tipsy by the time that sax solo hits.

3. Hate That You Know Me

I thought this one was pretty weird for a longggg time, but it got me eventually. The production here is emptier than what I was used to from their first album, but over time, it started to feel less empty and more immediate to me, like I could just be hearing a couple of people giving the performance of their lives across the street. Speaking of which, shoutout to the backup vocalist who does those riffs--they bring out the best in this song's rhythm. Also, these might be my favorite Bleachers lyrics. They're fantastically fun to sing, without losing any meaning to the sonic whimsy!

4. Don't Take The Money

This is my comfort scream-it-all-out song--it has the perfect blend of genuine humor and equally genuine agony that I love so much in my favorite Taylor Swift songs. Experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being known? Singing, "I SAW YOUR FACE AND HANDS / COVERED IN SUN AND THEN / I THINK I UNDERSTAND / ... OH I UNDERSTAND" is the most effective cure I know.

5. I'm Ready to Move On / Wild Heart -- w/ Yoko Ono

Okay, sure, this is kind of just "Wild Heart" again. But I think it deserves its own spot, since it really does have its own thing going on. I'm not as much of an experimental production lover as I want to be--though I respect attempts to expand the range of sounds we think of as 'music', I still have a hard time actually enjoying the more out-there electronic stuff. But I'll listen to this one any day, weird buzzing noises included, because Yoko Ono's melody instantly cheers me up, and I find myself singing it constantly. Snow is falling! All the time! Snow is smiling! All the time! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! To move on!

6. I Wanna Get Better (cw: sui)

This one is... intense. I think that's what I love most about Bleachers, though, is that you get all this emotion wrapped up in these ridiculously catchy rock anthems. There's so much feeling that's fighting to get out of these songs, and so much in my heart that's fighting to get out when I listen--but then I can free it by singing along. These are songs that want to be sung along to, that invite your shared experience of things that are too heavy to carry alone. Hell, maybe that's what drew me to Bleachers, specifically, out of all the artists on the Love, Simon soundtrack. Because their music felt like coming out, even before I actually did; it gave me an escape, to a place where I felt like my secret, my big terrifying secret, had already been shared. Even for just a few minutes, I could get that weight of things unspoken off my shoulders. And suicidal ideation is hard to talk about, too. And I didn't talk about it for a long time--not for years after coming out. But I had this song to process it with, and for that I'm eternally grateful <3

7. Like A River Runs

Okay, this spot could belong to a whole bunch of songs on the Strange Desire album, but I'll go with this one, which was my most-listened song on Spotify Wrapped 2020. I don't think I've ever been able to relate to this song--I'm lucky to never have experienced the death of a close friend, or of a family member I knew well--but the production always manages to capture me instantly. I guess this song gives us another good explanation of why I feel like I grew up with Bleachers: their music sounds like how my growing up felt--this overwhelming rush of reckless joy in the present, combined with intense fits of yearning for the past.

8. Everybody Lost Somebody

COME ON MOTHERFUCKER YOU SURVIVED YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK !!!!!

9. 91

I never really know what to do with this song, honestly--it's not let-it-all-out fun, like I usually expect from Bleachers. Rather, it's mysterious and reserved... but that makes it uniquely captivating, too. Its lyrics have beautifully executed time skips, and I love that string instruments are made central to the arrangement, rather than left to a low-volume layer in the chorus.

10. Rollercoaster -- w/ Charli XCX

I mean, Bleachers has some of the best hooks out there, and Charli XCX has a voice that makes any chorus a punch to the gut. A dream collaboration, for sure, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is my most-listened Bleachers song ever!

Honorable Mentions: Reckless Love, You're Still a Mystery, All My Heroes, 45, Big Life, Don't Go Dark, Anti-Hero (Taylor Swift feat. Bleachers)

[stevieschrodinger]

I really want to write this fic but I don't have time so have this.

Post upside down, everyone lives/nobody dies.

Steve and Eddie get together, Steve deals with his gay crisis. Eddie works through his 'holy shit I'm dating Steve Harrington' crisis, and they settle together. It actually turns into a long term relationship and Eddie starts to get comfortable.

Steve does not.

Steve's got a string of rejection and one night stands behind him, so he's kind of watching for signs of the same from Eddie.

Eddie settles in for the long haul, so the honeymoon period kind of wears off a little. Maybe it takes a while, maybe a year or a little more, but it does happen. They get jobs, Eddie has band practice and DnD nights.

And Steve Harrington who has confused sex with love since he was fourteen, doesn't handle it well. He starts keeping track of every time Eddie is 'too tired' or 'ive literally just showered, I wanted to sleep' or ' Steve I wanted to watch this movie' or the hundred other reasons Eddie turns him down all the time.

Eddie doesn't even try to initiate sex anymore, he just turns Steve down half the time or more. And Steve's got a hell of a sex drive, he knows, but Eddie's refusals hurt. They hurt every time, they make him feel unwanted, worthless. Unloved.

And worse, Steve likes their place to be tidy. Something that doesn't even seem to register with Eddie. He seems to be actually blind to anything untidy, like he literally can't see the dishes in the sink or all the books and crap he's left everywhere.

And it drives Steve fucking nuts. He says something. Eddie responds with 'leave it, I'll get it,' but Eddie's time frames for 'getting it' seems to be days long, despite it being a ten minute job.

So Steve stops complaining, and just accepts that Eddie doesn't care at all about how Steve feels, considering Steve has tried to explain to Eddie that he literally can't settle if his space is too messy.

Eddie doesn't even seem to want to understand.

Steve suddenly feels like he's committing some sort of crime because he wants their place to be tidy.

So he just does it all, keeps his mouth shut, and accepts the fact that Eddie doesn't love him. Because Eddie doesn't want him, and Eddie doesn't care about how he feels, and it doesn't matter that Eddie tells him he loves him a hundred times a day, because words don't mean shit.

It's action that talks.

And that goes on for ages, Steve slowly becoming more and more worn down. He stops trying to initiate sex; he's pretty certain Eddie doesn't even notice.

Steve cries about it when Eddie isn't there. Thinks about packing up and just leaving and going to Robs for a while. Thinks he's being melodramatic even if it doesn't feel it.

Comes home after a long day at work and the place is a mess and Eddie's just. Laid on the sofa. Steve looses it.

And he cries like, angry embarrassed tears as it all comes spilling out. And then he just...locks himself in the bathroom.

And obviously they sort it and live happily ever after and meet in the middle with all this stuff. Eddie probably talks to the girls about it and Robs just like..

So do the dishes? It takes two minutes and it will make him happy? You want him to be happy right? And she is right, so Eddie just...spends 20 minutes a day tidying. 20 minutes is nothing, and Steve always looks so thrilled and pleased when he comes home and everything is tidy. So it's easy to just get in the habit of doing it, especially when Steve's so grateful and affectionate with his thanks, and Eddie didn't realise until that moment how cold and absent Steve had become.

Eddie's sex drive just isn't as high as Steve's, it just isn't, but he finds when he's not in the mood, Steve is happy to jerk off while Eddie plays with his nipples and kiss him and tell him how much he loves him.

[starlitfragment]

: ̗̀➛ Straight to the point.

In which he's still human.

Summary: Everyone has something in the back of their mind, something that terrifies them to the core, something that keeps them up at night. Sebastian is no different. Luckily for him, he already has someone to hold him and reassure him.

Notes: Established Relationships, Reader is gender neutral, Sebastian's Backstory Spoilers (not really),He is not a fish yet, wrote this at 4 am, unhealthy amount of fluff, idk what im doing, Sebastian is a menace, this is a literal word vomit. Enjoy ..!

The squeaky creak of the wooden bed and the slight shifting next to you jolts you awake, eyes opening to cautiously wander around the room in search of anything, or anyone. You almost close your eyes and go back to sleep at the reassurance that nothing was there, before the sound of the hitched breathing next to you forces you to open your eyes again. You turn to your side, arms subconsciously reaching out for the one laying right next to you. To your surprise, you find him awake already, his softened gaze seemingly on anything but you. You can't see too well in the darkness, but one look at his troubled expression is enough for you to know whats going on. You reach out your hand, slowly placing it on top of his as to not startle him. The moment he registers the slightest touch of your hand against him, his eyes move back on yours. He furrows his eyebrows, huffing slightly.

"...Did I wake you?" He asks, his voice coming off as nothing more than a mere whisper. For the time that you've known Sebastian, you've come to realize that he is never one to outright trouble anyone with his struggles, that includes you. If you want to know anything, you have to fish it out of him. And so you do. You gently squeeze his hand in a comforting manner. "Not really." You respond quietly, inching a bit closer to take a better look at him. "Can't sleep?" You whisper, the close proximity and the way you feel his cold breath sending a slight shiver down your spine. He stays silent, averting his eyes from you. Now, you know all too well what's bothering him.

Your lover has a tendency to often deprive himself of sleep, that resulting in him staying up and contemplating each and every fear he has ever grown to have until he's sure he has suffered himself enough. This, of course, pains you to see. You're well aware you can't undo past traumas, or.. what is yet to come, for that matter. So, for now, you settle for comforting him. You let go of his hand and lean in, arms wrapping around him as you pull him closer. He tenses slightly, before giving in to your touch. As you run your fingers through his hair, he quietly exhales and buries his face into your neck, a hand finding it's way to your waist. He moves his fingers up and down, tracing random shapes on your skin rather anxiously. You're both silent. You, lost in idea of him and him, lost in the idea of losing you. He slightly tenses up again, his hold on you tightening a bit and a hitched breath escaping him. You can tell he has his own thoughts that he runs away from, his fears that keep him up at night and nightmares that he fears for his life. He clutches onto your shirt, the idea of him ever losing you, losing this, losing everything leaves him shivering like he is now. You slowly start to feel something wet against your skin, his tears staining your shirt as he holds onto you for dear life. Needless to say, you're overwhelmed too.

The Sebastian you've learned to love is constantly hiding behind an act of nonchalance and sarcasm, and only now you realize how vulnerable he really is behind all of that. You can only hold him, listen to the sound of his muffled yet soundless sobs against you and whisper sweet nothings. "I'm not going anywhere." You tell him, fingers combing through his hair as your other hand slowly moves up and down on his back, in an attempt to comfort him. He hides his face into your neck even more, in an attempt to muffle his last sobs. Your tender touches, your oh so sweet promises that you'd never leave and your mere presence soothe him like he needs. You're both silent for a bit, neither of you daring to disturb the comfortable silence. He eventually leans back, slightly wet blue-ish green eyes staring into your eyes.

You can tell he is mildly embarrassed, all his attempts at keeping you from witnessing such vulnerable side of him now all wasted and for nothing. And so, he does what he always does. He moves his hands to his face, covering his face with both hands as his shoulder's slightly shake again, because of laughter, this time. The sound of his chuckles disturbs the nights silence. You'd be confused, had it not been for the fact that you're all too familiar with how he tries to laugh his way out of any awkward situation. He finally moves his hands away, his eyes still slightly wet. "You're... such an idiot for dealing with my bullshit. Honestly.." He says, letting out a bitter chuckle. You smile, cupping his face with one hand, your thumb gently carressing his face. "I am.. your idiot, afterall." You whisper, your finger moving to gently wipe away one last tear on his face. He only gazes at you, a gaze that holds the countless words he's been meaning to say. You move your finger, slowly tracing his features, and it moves to the scar in the middle of the face.

The way your finger tenderly brushes against his skin.. He sighs, his hand moving to catch your wrist and guide it out of his face, though he never lets go. He leans in, back to where he was sobbing not too long ago. He pulls you closer, a hand resting on your hip. He nuzzles comfortably into your shoulder, and this time, he presses a slight, delicate kiss on your skin. "I... love you, idiot." He mutters, quietly enough for only you to hear, and no one else. You're the last thing on his mind before he finally passes out, safe and sound in your embrace.

[mgc02]

Husk becomes regular cat for a day

Angel Dust x Husk

Cw: fluff at the end, Alastor being an asshole as always, mild swearing

He pissed off Alastor again. But Alastor wasn't planning on killing him over it. Instead he knew that husk hated his cat like appearance so he was going to suffer by spending the day as a typical cat. With just a snap of his fingers, husk was shrunk down on all fours and lost his ability to speak. His cat like instincts kicking in.

Alastor held him by the scruff of his neck while he hissed and batted his claws at him. It was way more cute than intimidating. "Oh calm down ol chum I'll change you back tomorrow"

Angel got sick of chilling in his room so he went to go find Husk and see if he wanted to play cards or share a drink. But when he found nothing but a tiny cat that looked alarmingly like Husk inside Husk's room his only conclusion was Alastor must've done it.

But his biggest surprise was when cat Husk became immediately very affectionate with him. Rubbing against his legs and purring. He looked up at him and meowed with little smile. Angel picked him up and held him. The purring became louder.

He carried him out to the living room where everyone was. Charlie gawked with pupils as big as ever when she saw the tiny kitten in Angel's arms before noticing the striking resemblance to Husk. She turned to Alastor sipping his coffee. "Alastor... did you turn husk into an actual cat?" She questioned. His grin grew wider. "He got a little mouthy with me so I felt like this would be proper punishment. He's much quieter now" he said with pride. "You can't leave him like that!" Charlie responded. "Oh, don't worry it's all temporary. Just for today" he looked at a watch that he wasn't even wearing. "Oh look at the time, I really must be going" he then teleported to who knows wear to avoid the rest of this conversation.

Angel thought this was fucked up on a number of levels but then again he was really cute like this. He decided then that he would keep an eye on Husk and take care of him until he was back to normal

Angel spent the whole day with cat Husk. Playing with a laser and a ball of yarn. Watching him play with Keekee and fat Nuggets, feeding him treats, and keeping him out of mischief. Cat Husk seemed particularly mischievous. Knocking stuff off counters, scratching up furniture, curiosity getting the best of him causing him to frequently get stuck

Then nightfall came and Angel settled down for bed. But Cat Husk was anything but tired. He made a ruckus late into the night. Angel pulled the pillow over his ears. Somehow, Fat Nuggets was sleeping curled up at the end of the bed just fine

Angel was at his wits end but finally Cat Husk seemed to wind down. He curled up to Angel in bed. Angel petting him as he purred before getting comfortable and finally falling asleep

The next morning Angel awoke and noticed the feeling of arms wrapped around him. It didn't take long for him to register that Husk was back to normal and cuddling him while still fast asleep. Shit, this might be awkward. Angel thought about waking him up but then he also thought about pretending he was still asleep. He could pretend to wake after Husk did. After all he was an actor...

[demonvibez]

Impulsive

Characters: Lord Diavolo x GN! Reader Rating: Teen Tags: comfort, fluff, gn reader, MC uses magic, kissing Word Count: 4.3k+ A/N: Happy (Belated) Birthday to My Sweet Prince, Lord Diavolo ♡ I'd give him all three realms if I could, but for now, I'll settle for sharing this silly little fluff fic. This may be my favorite thing I've written so far, so I hope you all enjoy it as well!

Late was the hour at the House of Lamentation, when you find yourself tossing and turning in your slumber, your mind currently pulled into the depths of a rather vivid nightmare. It was one of those nightmares that just feels so real, filling your senses and sending you running from the unknown terror, your heart pounding as you run deeper into what looks like the House but feels like a maze. Surely there aren't this many hallways when you're awake?! And so many doors! You run to the end of the hall, ripping open the large double doors and running into the next...which seems eerily identical to the last. Except when you get to the end of the hall this time, you run into a dead end. Panic now striking your heart you turn to the window, only for it to vanish as you touch it. A crimson ooze begins to drip down the walls, and you can feel the shadow entity getting closer, your breathing becoming more erratic as your back presses into the corner. You're trapped. Something reaches out towards you from the abyss, it's sharp claws coming into view the closer it gets.

Just before it can grab you by the neck, you fully awaken from your night terror, pushing yourself to sit up in bed so that you may try to catch your breath. You hyperventilate for a moment, grabbing your chest with one hand as the other maintains a tight grip on the bed sheets as your eyes quickly dart around the room. You're awake, and you're okay. You snap your fingers to magically turn the lights up, so that you may inspect the room closer. Nothing on the walls - and you let out a relieved sigh. You sit with yourself for a moment, in an effort to allow your breathing to return to normal, before flinging your legs over the side of the bed and standing up. You cross the room and make your way over to the window near your desk. Reaching out to touch the window, a slight hesitation makes your hand tremble. As your fingertips touch the cool pane of the glass, you breathe out an even bigger sigh of relief. The window didn't disappear this time - you are definitely safe and back in your own reality.

So, why can't you shake this eerie feeling? That same looming anxiety that filled your mind as you were being chased by the shadow creature. You shake your head, trying to just will it away, as you pick up your jacket from the back of a chair and pull it on. You cross your arms to hug yourself as you walk back over to your bedside table. Eyeing your DDD on the charger, you reach down to pick it up, unlocking it and opening the contacts in one fluid motion. Before you can even process what you are doing, you are already dialing a number, the phone pressed to your ear as you sit down at the edge of the bed. It's not until you hear his voice at the other end of the line do you really register just what you're doing. The Future King of the Devildom murmurs your name, a slight hint of concern lacing his voice - he's surprised to hear from you at this time of night. 

"Is something wrong? Are you alright," he asks you. He has no idea that the sound of his voice alone is so soothing to you. You let out a shaky breath that you had no idea you were holding, scooting back on the bed so that you can lean against the wall.

"Y-yeah...I'm okay...I-" you cut yourself off, your eyes briefly widening. Are you really bothering Lord Diavolo with your foolish little problems? It was just a nightmare, and you're awake now. You're sure the Prince has way more important things to worry about than the silly night terrors of a human. "I'm so sorry for bothering you, I know you must be busy wi-" he cuts you off by saying your name once again, this time with a slightly firmer tone.

"I've told you time and time again that you may come to me for anything, at any time," he reminds you. Softening his tone, he exhales before continuing, "Please. Tell me, what's wrong?" He truly meant it when he said you can come to him for anything. It warms his heart to think about you coming to him for help, especially when you have so many demons around you that are also willing to give you the world.

"It's...I just...it's gonna sound really stupid..." you trail off, as you fidget with the hem of one of your blankets.

"I assure you, nothing you could possibly say to me is ever going to be 'stupid.'" As you let out another exhausted sigh, you can hear the squeaking of his desk chair as he leans back against it. Lord Diavolo has always been very sweet to you, doing his best to accommodate all of your needs since you've dropped down into his realm. He always seems to have the answer to your problems, especially the more massive ones - what will it hurt to vent to him now?

"I...had a rather vivid nightmare. It felt so real to me..." You begin to describe your nightmare in great detail, not holding back any of the emotions that came along with it. Retelling this graphic tale almost makes you feel as though you are reliving it, and the crack in your voice pierces Diavolo's heart as you try to hold back tears while you finish your story. "And then I woke up," you say with a sniffle, "I guess I was quite shaken by it all, and I called you because...well, it was kind of an impulse to be honest, but I think I just really wanted to hear your voice," you admit, a rosy blush painting your cheeks. You were a bit glad Lord Diavolo couldn't see you right now - you aren't sure, but you probably look like a bit of a mess. Something else you are unaware of, is exactly how much your admission has effected the Young Prince. The idea that you instinctively sought him out for comfort is enough to get his heart racing, and now it is time for him to act on impulse - which is something he is rather good at.

"I'll be by the House of Lamentation to pick you up soon," he declares, the sound of his chair scuffing the floor ringing out across the phone line. Your eyes widen, and you jump up to stand on your bed in surprise.

"Uhhh...excuse me, WHAT?!?" There's no way he's serious. You hear his signature laugh, and now you know he's not joking.

"I'm coming to pick you up! A change of scenery is always a good idea after a nightmare - especially when the nightmare occurs where you're trying to sleep. I'll just leave a note for Lucifer, and bring you back to the Castle. This is going to be so much fun," he says excitedly. An impromptu sleepover with the Future King of the Devildom does sound like a fun idea - but doesn't he have more important things to do than to entertain you?

"Lord Dia-"

"AH! What did I say about using my titles when it's just us?" You can't help but to let out a tiny giggle, and it sends his heart over the Devildom moon.

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I just don't want to be a burden on you. It's late, and I'm sure you have more important things to-"

"Nonsense," he cuts you off again. How can you possibly think you could ever be a burden to him? "I had just finished my work for the night when you called, and Barbatos hasn't even started the tea yet. We are just going to quickly portal over to you, and bring you back. It will be no trouble for us at all. Please, let me help you." Please, just let him take care of you. If you could see the look in his eyes right now, you'd see how much he yearns to pamper you with all of his affections. You spend so much time time and energy taking care of all of your demons, he wants so badly to be the one doing the same for you. Let him show you that he can be there for you, that he is capable of being your protector - even if it's from terrors created by your own mind.

"Okay...if you're really sure, then I'm game. Can you just give me like...five minutes?" He honestly doesn't have to ask you twice to hang out, you'll take any excuse to see Diavolo. You don't want to inconvenience him, but he's insisting, so why not take the gorgeous golden-eyed demon up on his offer? And even if you won't be able to fall back asleep, at least you'll have his company; his perfect smile, his soothing voice, the warm embrace of his hugs...

Before the Prince can even answer, he hears the sound of you jumping off of your bed and running around in your room. He can't help but to let out a small chuckle at how cute he thinks you are. He would tell you that there's no need to bother yourself, that you may come as you are - but as he finds himself in front of his own mirror, straightening his tie and hand-combing his hair, he relates to wanting to look impressionable for the person you're so deeply in love with. He's unsure if you return his feelings, but the idea of you scrambling around your room just to look cute for him for a surprise date has heat rising to his cheeks - which is ironic, seeing as you're doing exactly that.

"Of course! I'll send you a text just before we head over," he replies. Just after saying your goodbyes and hanging up, you race to your bathroom to freshen up your face. You had already tore off your jacket and discarded half of whatever other comfortable clothes you had worn to bed that night. Is this really about to happen?! Talk about a plot twist! One moment you're thrashing around in bed consumed with your nightmares, and the next your about to be picked up by the Future King to go hang out with him at the Demon Lord's Castle - your life can be such a rollercoaster at times.

You quickly wash your face at the sink, splashing the water in your face once more and staring into your owns eyes in the mirror, making sure this isn't also a dream. You've experienced nested dreaming a few times in your life, and it would sure as hell be disappointing if you weren't really about to see Diavolo. You shake your head, brushing off the thought, before turning off the water and exiting the bathroom.

You walk back across your room, and freeze in the doorway of your closet. The back of your closet is so dark - no matter how long you let your eyes adjust, the shadows casted in the back corners of the room still have this eerily ominous feeling. Your hand shakily reaches out towards the light switch, the hair on your arm standing up as anxiety courses through your veins. Just as you're about to flip the light switch on, a loud ding comes from your DDD, and you can't help but to jump. Your heart pounds in your chest for a few seconds before you remember why your phone had dinged - they must be on their way. Damn it! You're nowhere near ready! You flip the light on and start scrambling through your clothes, pulling out a pair of cute pajamas and putting them on. 

Just as you are pulling the bottoms up to your hips, you hear a slight cracking sound coming from the hallway, followed by a low humming noise. Barbatos' portal - they must be standing outside. Just as you arrive at the door, you hear a light knock, and you open it to find the Prince standing there in his RAD uniform, fist still raised to knock a second time. Behind him you can see Barbatos still in Diavolo's room, on the other side of the portal, his back turned to you as he sets a tray of sweets down on the glass coffee table by the bed. You look up at the gorgeous demon in front of you, and you can't help but to smile as your eyes connect with his. And the way he smiles back down at you, with a radiance brighter than any Celestial sun, is enough to make a small flurry of butterflies dance around in your stomach.

"Hey there! Ready to go?"

"Yeah, one second. Just need to grab my jacket real quick-" you go to turn around and pick up your jacket that you had previously thrown onto the floor, but Diavolo's voice interrupts you once again.

"There's no need," he says in his usually jovial tone, "I can have Barbatos light the fireplace if you'd like." Just then, you see the Butler turn around and nod at you, before speaking to you through the portal.

"Yes, and I have just started steeping a fresh pot of Hellfire Rose Tea. We have plenty of warm blankets, fresh from the dryer. You will not go cold in our care," says Barbatos, his lips curving upward in a knowing smile. For half a moment you wonder to yourself if he already knows what the course of tonight's events will be, but you don't really have too much time to wonder about that right now. 

"And of course, if all else fails, there is this." Looking down at his own chest, he starts unbuttoning his red RAD jacket. A blush creeps across your face as he unbuckles the golden belt and pulls the coat off of his large frame, holding it out for you to slide into. Your heart feels as though it is going to jump into your throat as you slide in your arms, the scent of Diavolo's cologne filling your senses as you pull the jacket tighter to your chest. The coat is rather baggy and long on you, but you feel so cozy that you don't even care. 

"Thank you so much for all of this, Dia," you say with a light blush still on your cheeks as you look up at him bashfully. Hearing the little nickname you've given him, the Young Prince can't help but to blush as well. No one has ever been so informal with him; he hopes you'll use it more, the sound of it coming from your lips like music to his ears. You move to try to take a step forward, but your feet accidentally step on the bottom of the coat, causing you to stumble forward a little.

"Oops, I suppose I didn't take that into account. Here, let me help you with that." And before you can even ask, Diavolo bends down and scoops you up in his arms. You let out a small yip as you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, your little human hands struggling to grip him through the oversized coat sleeves as he adjusts you in his hold. He turns around with you to walk back towards the portal, and you tap his shoulder to stop him for a moment.

"Wait! One sec..." With your right arm hooked around him, you raise your left, shaking it a bit so the sleeve falls down your arm. Your reach your hand out behind him, focusing all of your energy towards the DDD that you dropped on your bed earlier. You close your eyes, visualizing in your mind the phone rising up off the bed and floating into your hand. The more you focus on it, the stronger your intent becomes, and a surge of magical energy within you causes you to open your eyes back up just as the phone glides itself across the room and into your grasp. At the feeling of the phone's plastic case hitting your hand, your eyes widen in surprise as you let out a joyful laugh. "I can't believe it finally worked..." You show Diavolo the phone you just grabbed telekinetically, pride filling your chest and spreading to the smirk on your face.

"Nicely done! Seems as though your sorcery lessons are paying off." That same pride fills the Prince's chest, for you find new ways to surprise and impress him every day.

"Thanks, I've been working quite hard on that particular skill." You slide the phone into one of the coat's pockets before wrapping your arm back around him. He walks the two of you through the portal, and over towards the grey-striped couch next to his bed. The cracking noise of the portal closing rings out once again, the subsequent hum it produced now falling silent. The only sound currently filling the room is that of Barbatos arranging a tea set on the glass top of the coffee table, along with the slight squeak of the couch cushions as Diavolo sits down with you, setting you in his lap as he leans back into the corner of the couch. You unwrap your arms from around his neck, making yourself comfortable and leaning back against him, your cheek resting against his collar bone as you drape an arm across his torso. Diavolo wraps his arms around you, pulling you just a little bit closer, and your eyes flutter closed at the warm embrace. That is, until, you remember...

"Oh, fuck," you exclaim, your eyes snapping back open, "did we ever leave a note for Lucifer?" Sure, the Young Prince is best friends with the Avatar of Pride, but it's still usually better for you to ask for permission from Lucifer rather than forgiveness. The Morningstar is no stranger to handing down punishments - even to his favorite human. Diavolo looks down at you, and the look on your face must have been priceless, for you can feel the laughter building up and shaking his chest before ringing out into the open air.

"Yes, in fact, I sent him a text message before making my way over to you. The last thing we want is a concerned Lucifer tearing apart the realm looking for you." And the last thing Diavolo wants is an intrusion by the Eldest Demon Brother. Lucifer always prides himself on how well he looks after you, always stepping up to the plate when he is needed the most. And while he admires all of the traits that afford Lucifer's status as the Avatar of Pride and Right Hand of the Future King, Diavolo sometimes feels as though it hinders his ability to get closer to you. He does his best to mask his jealousy, but you don't miss the way he pulls you just a little bit tighter to his chest. You can feel a faint tingle coming from the location of Leviathan's pact mark, causing your eyebrows to slightly furrow. Was Lord Diavolo really feeling envious towards Lucifer? Over you? Your eyes quickly dart over to Barbatos, who is currently walking out of the bedroom door, most likely to fetch the pot of tea. As the sin continues to stimulate the sigil on your skin, you can only deduce that it must be Diavolo. 

"Indeed, the last thing we want is for our time together to be cut short," you say, looking up into those gorgeous honey eyes of his, "At this point, I'm kinda glad I had that stupid nightmare..." The way he gazes down at you, so loving and full of affection, causes your heart to start beating at a rapid pace. You aren't sure if you're reading the situation correctly, but the moment just feels so...right. Impulse has led you both to this exact moment, and into the arms of the demon you've been pining over for so long. Perhaps your instincts will be right again this time.

Your hand floats up to cup his cheek, and immediately you can feel him lean into your touch. You hear him murmur your name, spoken in a tone laced with a longing you hadn't heard from him before. You both lean into each other, your lips meeting in a kiss that you both felt like you had waited an eternity for - like you both had been trekking across a barren desert, and you finally found an oasis in each other. Your hands glide up so they lace through his hair, as he pulls you so you're facing him, his hands resting on your hips. You lightly nibble his bottom lip, at which you can feel his large hands give your hips a little squeeze, and he obliges you by deepening the kiss that you're both so entranced by. 

You're both so lost each in other's tender embrace, wanting so badly for the moment to continue on endlessly, that you don't even hear Barbatos re-enter the room. The Butler was really doing his best not to interrupt the two of you - he was happy to finally see the Young Master making progress with you, in regards to his admiration. Neither of you had heard the sounds of the door opening and closing shut, so he was a little surprised that the sound of the teaspoon clinking on the glass tabletop is what grabbed your attention. You jump a little bit, your nose bumping into his slightly, before looking over your shoulder to see Barbatos with an amused look on his face - you erupt into laughter, with the other two following soon after. 

"My apologies, I did not mean to interrupt the two of you. However, the tea is ready, along with a few snacks that I have prepared that I know you are both fond of." You give Diavolo a little peck on the cheek, causing him to have the goofiest grin in all three realms, before sliding off of his lap and sitting next to him. Your hands have a slight tremble from all of the excitement, and the last thing you want to do is spill scorching hot Hellfire Rose Tea all over Diavolo and yourself. You reach for the cup of tea Barbatos prepared for you, about to take a sip as the Butler hands a plate of sweets to the Prince.

"Would you like for me to enchant the tea? To ensure that your nightmares will cease," he asks, as he crosses the room to put some music on the record player, turning the volume down so that it may play in the background. 

"No," you say with a slight blush, your eyes darting to Diavolo from behind your teacup, "I have Dia now, so I think I'm good." You smirk as you take a sip, maintaining eye contact with Diavolo as he takes a bite into his Hellfire Mushroom Rolled Cigar Cookie, the blush spreading across his tan face as your words sink in.

The two of you spend quite a bit of time together that night, just sitting in each other's arms and talking about everything and nothing. It started off just chatting in more detail about the contents of your nightmare, but quickly digressed into talking of your fears, your dreams, your ambitions, your aspirations. Diavolo has never connected with another being like this before, and he's all the more glad he gets to grow such a connection with you. And while he listens to your voice, he comes to the realization that there's no one else he'd rather bare his infernal soul to in all three realms. His visions of the future always have you in it, and he couldn't be happier to hear that you feel the same way. You both continue to exchange stories of your fondest memories, making plans to create new memories together in the future. 

Just as Diavolo gets halfway though his story - one of the many tales of him causing chaos to then sneak out of the Castle - he feels the weight of your cheek fall against his shoulder. Your breathing steady and one of your hands gripping his shirt as you accidentally fall asleep in his lap. Between his soothing voice, the soft lull of the music, and feeling completely safe in his arms, you couldn't help but to drift off to dreamland. And he can't help but to just sit and watch you for a moment; you look so beautifully at peace in your slumber, he wants to etch it into his mind permanently. He eventually picks you up as gently as possible - you only stir once or twice. The first time at the motion of him picking you up; the second when he sets you down on his bed and you subconsciously miss the feeling of his warm embrace as he goes to quickly change his clothes. 

He slides into bed next to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him, your back pressing up against his chest. As your feel his warmth envelop you, you turn over to face him, one of your arms wrapping around him as well while you're only half awake. He lays on his back, pulling you on top of him, and you lightly nuzzle his chest and mumble an 'I love you' before you fall back fully asleep again. Diavolo's heart feels so full - he never knew three simple words could mean so much to him. He presses a kiss into the top of your head before laying back and shutting his eyes, happier than he's ever been in his life. And while he doesn't want you having anymore nightmares, he'd give anything to spend the rest of his nights like this with you.

· demonvibez ♡ 2023 · do not copy, repost or modify · · likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! ♡ ·

[batboyblog]

hey thanks for not being super doomer over these anti-trans bills. i kept on seeing so many people being defeated over them and it messed up my mental health for a while, like nothing could be done. but you did bring up some good points and shed some light onto people who are actively fighting for us so i thank you again

The queer movement, in the US any ways, has always been cyclical, we make big gains and push forward, then there's a super scary backlash. We're right now at the hight of a really scary backlash thats focused on trans people in particular but is anti-queer more generally. It's intense but its important to remember these backlashes don't generally last very long, they are scary, but each time they've happened, the mid to late 1970s, the 1980s, the early 2000s, the tide has gone out and gay rights, LGBT rights, and society's acceptance of LGBT people has been farther along than before they have never ever managed to turn us back in the years since Stonewall.

And as intense and scary as this is in some ways it's better than last time, when I was a gay teenager. in those days... in 2004 and 2008 the Democrats running for President were uniformly against gay marriage (the big issue of that time) they were trying to get us to settle for the not marriage alternative of civil unions. Only a handful of Congresspeople (some of them gay themselves) in DEEP! blue districts dared to support gay marriage outright. Today the Democratic Party is the most pro-LGBT major political party in the world, you had the President and every Democrat of any note making statements for TDOV a few days ago and you're not seeing even red state Democrats back down and agree to be "a little transphobic" for votes. It felt a lot more lonely last time when it was us and a handful of allies fighting the backlash with most of the Democratic Party on the side lines handwringing and saying "well can't you wait?"

any ways this movement is and will always be a struggle, the rights we've won, the acceptance we've received has never just been given, it's been won, through hard work. Everyone has to dedicate themselves to work in their corner of the earth to the best of their abilities and to push themselves past what they think they can do. That means hooking up with LGBT rights groups on the ground to protest, to rally, to try to support and comfort those queer people who are down and out in whatever way right now, it means digging deep and having hard and awkward conversations with the people in your life, if you're gay or trans or whatever and you got that one aunt/uncle/cousin/whoever in your life that loves you to bits but you know still votes Republican and you just don't bring it up because you don't want to hurt the relationship... have the talk keep having the talk as many times as you need to. Tell your grandparents if they don't know, tell your parents (if its safe or if you don't need their money any more) tell co-workers who don't know etc, they vote for us 2 to 1 if they know they know one of us. Finally register to vote, make sure all your friends particularly if you're young are registered and vote, vote in every election. Trust me it's AMAZINGLY easy to find the email of candidates for school board or city council and it's amazingly easy to ask questions. Last election I emailed every school board candidate about Holocaust education, and the state rep candidate about trans rights, she wrote me back a lovely note and mailed be a sticker she'd picked up from a trans rights group. It's amazingly easy to get involved, I volunteered with my local democrats for one election and they offered me the #3 spot in their local party, I have the phone numbers of my state rep and state senator without trying really, you can get in the room with these people, with candidates for governor, congress, I have my picture with 3 US Presidents? its not hard to do, and you can use chances like that to talk to them and show them your humanity and leave an impression that really matters in the long run.

sorry to RAMBLE but it's important that everyone do their part, pick a little something, a project to push this thing forward, people doom scrolling, particularly posting about how its hopeless does not help, posting in general doesn't help much even if its not doomerism, I think in the years after the anti-gay marriage Bush backlash we got very online and we got very "progress just happens" and a lot of people fell out of the habit or came of age without the habit of protest and without a local queer community or local progressive community and its very important in the face of this to find or build those and also understand in some places its gonna be years of work to get where we want to go, but we will and it'll be worth all the work.

[scaranation]

hi hi !! could you write an ANGST with Dottore and Zhongli where we break up with them? maybe in dottore we break up because we can't bear(?) his experiments anymore and in Zhongli one we feel not enough/that he loves someone else (maybe Guizhong?)

Gn reader or Fem!reader(if u write for fem. sorry if u do not,i couldnt find rules and im really really sorry ! :( ... )

p.s will there be To love another 3rd part? it's my fav fanfic ever !!

love your work ♡♡

hihihi i know this is like super late but this prompt is literally so good 😭 also im thinking of writing another part to that fic, but i just dont know where to take it so ive been procrastinating haha

dottore’s part is kinda ooc bcs let’s be real if he’s that whipped for reader he wouldn’t let them break up with him, but im going to pretend that he’s not as much of a red flag as he actually is 🤭🤭

༊*·˚ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐅𝐅

Pairing: Dottore x GN!reader, Zhongli x GN!reader (separate)

Content: Angst, no comfort. Mentions of canon typical violence, assumed past Guizhong x Zhongli

DOTTORE

“It seems my beloved has finally thought to visit me.”

You cringed from the overpowering metallic scent as you stepped into your boyfriend’s laboratory, trying hard not to look at the borderline gruesome sights on the clinical beds.

Dottore cleaned the blood off a bone saw he was holding, setting the instrument down carefully before walking towards you - eyes lit up, but holding a gleam different to the maniacal one he usually possessed.

“How was your day, my love?” His voice was humorous. He seemed to be in a good mood, humming lightly while opening the door for you.

“It was fine.” You sighed as you felt the weight of Dottore’s harbinger coat settle across your shoulders, registering the touch of his hand as he pulled you into him and away from the Snezhnayan cold.

“Has that coworker of yours still been bothering you?”

“… Don’t try pretending.”

“Whatever could you be talking about?” The Doctor’s grip on you tightened.

“I wouldn’t wish death on anyone, even if they annoyed me to that extent.” You sighed, finally tilting your head to stare into the planes of your lover’s mask.

“Oh, they’re not dead. Rather, they’ve been subject to some biological modifications of an experimental kind - would you like to see?”

You gritted your teeth.

“I’m hungry, don’t make me lose my appetite.”

“Good thing I have a nice place booked for dinner, my love.”

His compliance was almost uncanny.

-

Normal couples gazed affectionately into each other’s eyes over meat and wine, fingers fondly interlaced over the dining table. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to return Dottore’s adoring scarlet gaze, and his hold on your hand felt more like a death trap.

“Is the food to your liking?” He asked. He hadn’t touched any of the vegetables on his plate, only biting into the steak.

“Yes. You should eat greens, too.” You commented.

“Mm. Why don’t you feed me, then?” Dottore only tilted his head, smiling eagerly. Recently, a fear of you being turned into one of the harbinger’s countless experiments had taken hold, and it was this same fear that drove you to play right how he wanted. And so, lifting your fork, you fed him with all the patience you could muster - staring into those deep red eyes, feeling like nothing more than prey. Those eyes would’ve been the last thing many others had seen before their death, the end of their lives marked by that sadistic grin. You almost shuddered at the thought.

Normal couples slept under starry nights reflected in their star crossed hearts as they cuddled close under soft sheets. Normality was such a strange concept, you decided. Despite the fact that you were doing just what normal couples should, the situation was still absurd. However, your fear of becoming another one of the harbinger’s lab rats wasn’t unfounded. You mulled over this fact, almost snorting at the juxtaposition. Here you were - wondering if the man who cradled you in his arms would strap you down to a table in the name of research.

“My love, are you still awake?” You felt Dottore’s breath ghost over your neck, his face pressing into your nape. With a rustle, he readjusted the blanket over your shoulders.

“Yeah, I can’t sleep.”

“Nightmares, perhaps? I have a pill you can use for those.”

“No, just… thinking.” You squirmed in Dottore’s hold. His comment only reignited your spiralling train of thought, pushing you further to the point of resolve.

If he could kill his clones - literal versions of himself - then what would stop him from doing the same to you? Even if you remained alive, would you have to continue to tolerate being exposed to such grotesque horrors?

It was simply better to break things off, before you no longer had the option to.

Breakfast.

The first meal of the day, and the last meal you’d share with your boyfriend.

“Dottore.”

“Yes?” The Doctor’s head jerked up immediately from where he was chewing. You could feel the undivided weight of all his attention sinking into you, and for a moment, you faltered. He was notorious for paying little mind to anyone else, and yet, he treated you with the utmost attentiveness. You steeled your resolve.

“I think… we should break up.”

Silence. Then, the grating scrape of cutlery against crockery.

“Why.”

Not a question, more of a demand. You gulped.

“Do you want me to be honest with you?”

“Yes. Is it something I did?”

“I can’t bear your experiments anymore, Dottore. They’ve gone too far, and I don’t think I can stomach living normally with you as if I don’t know the kind of things you do. Even worse, every day I’m wary that I might be your next test subject - whenever I walk into your lab, I wonder when I’ll be the one under your needles. It’s exhausting.”

Another beat of silence. You could see Dottore’s chest rising and falling at an increasingly fast pace, his jaw tensing.

“I would never, ever do that to you. It’s ridiculous that you’d even think that, and as for your prior reason… I can arrange for you to come to the lab less often…”

“So you’re just going to cover my eyes and act like you’re not doing anything with those experiments? I just can’t be ignorant here, nor can I trust you. If you can get rid of your clones so easily, then what am I? What value do I hold-“

“Those creations do not even compare to you.” Dottore finally snapped, slamming his hand down on the table. You flinched, and he felt as though his lung capacity had been halved. His head spun in tandem with the rapid tightening of his heart, his mouth twisting into a scowl.

It hurt Dottore, realising that you didn’t trust him. That all those fond, intimate memories together were just you acting out of fear - or at least, the most recent ones were. It hurt, beyond anything Dottore thought he could inflict on his patients. And even worse, you were frightened of him. The light shaking of your shoulders and the way you flinched were enough indication.

The Doctor enjoyed seeing his victims become terrified, but that same terror on you almost made him feel like he’d been the one stabbed with a scalpel. Foolishly, he’d fallen victim to his own maniacal research tendencies.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just meant to say… that you can trust me.” Dottore raised his hand towards you to cup your cheek, wincing when you avoided the action.

“I tried to, I really did. But I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

“My love, please.”

The second harbinger was begging. What a strange sight.

“Let me go, Dottore.” You murmured shakily. You saw hesitation, hurt, and anger flit through those vermilion eyes you’d used to love. But that love you held for him had only smouldered into disgust and fear.

“… Then go. Get out of my sight.” Dottore hissed, his teeth clenching at the wary expression on your face.

It was painful, how you walked out without a second glance.

“My love…” Dottore whispered. He stared at the closed door, almost expecting you to return. He repeated the phrase, over and over to himself - his face contorting into an expression he himself couldn’t name. Was there truly an emotion as human as this? It was a twisted, unimaginable feeling the Doctor couldn’t categorise. The syllables came off his quivering lips, as though by uttering them he could make you come back.

But the truth was, your not-so-normal relationship was over. Perhaps, Dottore would return to the normality of his heartless experiments, and you’d return to the normality of a better fate than one you’d endure by his side.

He only regretted not being able to hold you more.

ZHONGLI

There were only two letters between you and your lover, but those two letters seemed to stretch wider every day - ‘I’, and ‘M’. The seemingly infinite synapse between mere ‘mortal’, and ‘immortal’.

Zhongli was undeniably a mortal vessel, but he as a being was not. He’d lived eons before you, loved and hated thousands. He’d experienced things you couldn’t even fathom, and yet, you couldn’t comprehend how he treated you as though your fleeting existence was the centre of his much larger world.

Whenever you looked into Zhongli’s amber eyes, heard his deep laugh, or felt his gentle caress, you could only feel insignificant. After all, he used to be a literal god. You couldn’t help the guilt that gnawed at your conscience, couldn’t stamp out the incessant feeling that he was too good for you, that you couldn’t compare to whatever lovers he’d had in the past.

“How’s the tea, darling?” Zhongli prompted. He sat with his back to the window, basking in an almost ethereal glow.

“Ah, I have yet to try it.” You shook yourself out of your thoughts to raise the cup in front of you. Zhongli only smiled warmly, but the gesture made your hand shake a little. You’d planned to break up with him today, and yet the way he still stared lovingly at you - full of infinite trust - made you feel terrible.

But how many others had he also treated this way? In his life, those others were probably far more special than you, possessing talents far more worthy of a god’s attention.

Suddenly, a shattering sound pierced your ears, and a scalding warmth set into your thigh. You looked down in a daze, before snapping out of it upon realising that you’d dropped the teacup.

“Are you okay?” Zhongli was at your side in an instant, mopping up the spilled tea and collecting the broken fragments of the cup.

“Yeah.” You gritted your teeth again. How dare someone as insignificant as you make Rex Lapis get down on his knees to clean the mess you’d made. It simply made you feel as though you didn’t deserve such a wonderful man at all.

“You’ve been distracted lately. Is there anything I should know about?” Zhongli asked slowly.

“No. Well, yes.” You stammered. You hadn’t planned this out very well, and your heart squeezed tighter.

“Go ahead. You know you can tell me anything, darling.”

A warm hand came to rest against your cheek. You closed your eyes, feeling tears build and slip down your face.

Zhongli wiped at your tears, holding your hands in your lap as he looked up at you worriedly - his thumbs tracing comforting circles on your knuckles. He thought of saying something, before deciding against it. He knew it was better to let you speak first.

“Let’s break up.” You blurted, feeling Zhongli’s fingers come to a complete stop.

“We can work through this, tell me why first. Has something been upsetting you?”

Your tears fell harder. He still showed you so much kindness, never jumping to any conclusions.

“I feel like I don’t deserve you. You’re too good for me, it makes me feel guilty that someone like me can have you.” You sobbed.

“Darling, you know it makes me happy to just spend time with you. That in itself is fair exchange, no?”

“But what makes that so special? You’ve lived for so long, you could’ve done this with anyone else, and you probably have. Who am I in comparison to someone like Guizhong?”

Through your blurred vision, you could still see Zhongli’s form kneeled by your side. He seemed to be choosing his next words carefully.

“You and her are both special, in your own way. Why don’t you calm down a little first? I can pour you some more tea.”

“I’m so selfish, Zhongli. I really don’t think I can stay with you.”

“Do you really want to leave that badly?”

Your heart twisted. You didn’t want to leave. You wanted to stay in his warm embrace, his soft understanding gaze. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to.

“… Yes.”

“Very well then. You know I won’t stop you, because I just want what’s best for you.”

The light grip on your hands released, and as you stood up everything seemed to spin.

“Thank you… for everything.” You murmured, stealing one last glance at the man you loved - before leaving.

Zhongli remained where he was for some time. In his life, many things came to an end, but this hurt a little more. When Guizhong had left him, it was due to her passing - the youthful Rex Lapis had found someone to blame, to ventilate his grief. But the most crude fact in this situation was that you were still alive, and had chosen to leave him of your own volition. Zhongli himself had made this happen.

However, an archon’s most prized trait was impartiality. Therefore, Zhongli knew that he had to maintain indifference. He refused to let himself chase after you, or force you into anything. It was only unfair, if an immortal were to impose such a fate onto a mortal.

And so, he could only watch as you faded from his life, like the cyclic ebb of waves on an ocean shore.

[wildandsmile]

27 with itoshi rin please :D honestly i can see rin filling their partner up with his cum and put a vibrator them so that his cum doesn't leak out + plus he uses the remote to tease them throughout the day <3

｡☆✼★━ Challenge ━★✼☆｡

Summary: You stumbled upon a challenge on Twitter and shared it with your boyfriend, who seemed open to the idea. However, with the upcoming party on the horizon, you suspected he might have forgotten all about it. But as it turns out, you couldn't have been more wrong.

Tw : Creep Guy, Creep Group of guys, Annoying girls and Drinking.

Kinks : F receiving, Cream-pie, unprotected sex, penetrative sex (p in v), Rough sex, vibrators, impact play and spitting

Word count : 3.3k

An: Sorry if the smut isn’t the best it’s like 4 in the morning I’ll probably redo it later

Enjoy!

As you lounged comfortably on the plush couch, the soft glow of your phone screen illuminating your face, time seemed to slip away. Your Twitter feed was a never-ending stream of mundane updates and viral memes, until, out of nowhere, a tweet appeared that changing the mood of everything.

The interesting challenges caught your attention, luring you in with their mysterious allure. You had lots of free time and not much else to do, so you couldn't help but get curious about these intriguing suggestions. Some were harmless and innocent, while others were more daring, making you want to give them a try.

As you scrolled further, your heart started pounding when you found some really explicit challenges, things that you would on see one PornHub or something. Though as you read each suggestion it felt like it was drawing you into a world of intense passion and desire.

Then, like fate had a hand in it, a certain suggestion stood out among all the online noise. It caught your eye, making you curious like a moth drawn to a light. This challenge promised a night of excitement and closeness, but it also made you feel a bit nervous. The words on the screen gave you a shiver: "You or your partner has to wear a vibrator all day or night, while the other controls it."

You thought about it more and couldn't help yourself. You went to your bedroom where Rin was already there. When you sat next to him, he looked at you with curious eyes.You gave a little smile and got closer, gently touching his cheek, and asked, "Rin, should we give this a shot?" Just then, you showed him the tweet on your phone and point to the one that caught your attention.

With a sly smile, he said, "So, if I get this right, you want one of us to wear a vibrator all day?" You nodded, and he chuckled, saying, "Okay, we'll do it, but on my terms." You asked, "What are the terms?" He then grinned wickedly and said, "First, I choose when and where you put the vibrator on. Second, if you get handsy or try to finish early, I increase the intensity. Lastly, no holding back moans, even in public."

You were about to say "yes," but then what he said registers in your head , causing you playfully hit him in the arm. You then say, "I can't touch you or myself when I'm feeling needy, and I have to talk in moanish gibberish that not far."

With that, Rin gracefully rises, positioning himself shoulder to shoulder with you. He places his hand beneath his chin, tilting his head to the right, a clear sign that he's deep in thought. Eventually, he arrives at some sort of conclusion, declaring, "Alright, I’ll let you win – just this once. So, here's the deal: when you get all needy, you can handle it yourself, or even use my body to help , but I'm strictly off-limits when it comes to helping you so no begging for me to fuck you or touch you sound far."

His face lights up with a mischievous grin, and you find yourself equally enthralled by the idea, offering a nod of agreement. The two of you settle with that, and both of you return to looking at the TV screen, immersing yourselves in the world of sappy old romance movies. It's been an absolute blast. Everything was going well, but suddenly, Rin’s loud alarm goes off. He turns over and turns it off before getting out of bed, and saying, "It's time for us to get ready."

You raise an eyebrow, confused by your boyfriend's sudden excitement. You didn't remember any important plans, so you just stayed in bed, not doing much. It was only when Rin spoke excitedly that you stopped rolling around."We need to get ready for the party tonight," he reminds you, trying to jogging your memory. "Remember the one I mentioned last week? It's like a get-together for me and the guys from Blue Lock."

You stop fidgeting and think hard. After a moment, you remember what he talked about. You look at him again and say, "I thought that was in October."

He quickly takes off the covers, picks you up, and carries you to the bathroom. He hands you your toothbrush from the matching set you got together. Then, with a teasing look, he says, "It's October, sweetheart."

You shoot him a disbelieving look, your expression clearly conveying a "no way" sentiment. Your incredulous gaze causes him to pause mid-toothbrushing, and he points over to the bathroom calendar and speaker.

Turning your attention to these, you're met with the surprising revelation that the date indeed reads October 12. You offer a nonchalant shrug, not wanting to admit that you'd completely lost track of time.

Now, as you both stand side by side, brushing your teeth together while nodding along to your shared playlist, you can't help but smile. It's a simple, endearing routine that only the two of you share. It's one of those cute, intimate moments that usually belong in movies, but somehow, it's a part of your everyday life.

Though you couldn’t bathe in the moment, for too long knowing how particular Rin can be about punctuality, you hasten your tooth-brushing, not wanting to keep him waiting. You quickly grab something comfortable to wear, fully aware that your boyfriend has a penchant for making you try on countless outfits, even when you're only looking for one.

Finally, the two of you venture out into the bustling world of stores and outlets. While strolling and casually peering into shop windows, your gaze locks onto a stunning drape collar dress in a mesmerizing champagne hue. Captivated by its beauty, you can't resist tugging on Rin's arm, impulsively leading him into the store. Without wasting a moment, you head straight to the racks, where you luckily find the dress in your size.

Hastening to the dressing room, you slip into the dress. It fits you like a glove, accentuating your curves in all the right places. It strikes the perfect balance between revealing enough to be alluring but modest enough to make you feel comfortable. Now, it's time for the tricky part – showing it off to Rin.

You have a habit of enthusiastically displaying your fashion finds to him, but he has an equally strong tendency to, well, get handsy and maybe a little too eager. Despite this, you gather your courage and exit the dressing room. With a playful twirl, you put on a show for Rin, hoping he'll appreciate your choice without, well, ripping it off you prematurely.

"So, what do you think?" you ask, a radiant smile gracing your lips, eager for Rin's response. Surprisingly, Rin remains silent for a moment, and a pang of disappointment begins to well up within you. Feeling a bit disheartened, you start to turn away, but just as you pivot, he seizes you and pulls you close. In a passionate kiss that lingers along your neck, he murmurs, "God, why are you so fuckin sexy?"

His hands start to explore your body, igniting a desire within you that's difficult to ignore. You wouldn't mind indulging in a little action, but you both know time isn't on your side. You summon the willpower to gently slap his wandering hand away and retreat back to the dressing room. However, before you disappear, you blow him a quick, teasing kiss.

Now that you've secured your evening outfit, the two of you head back home. Once you're there, you hurry to the bathroom, eager to don your chosen ensemble and craft your makeup look.

After about a 1 hour and half you finish your look and step out side where you see Rin dressed all nice in I wonderful blue suit that match him perfectly lucky your dress fits well with his outfit. Walking up to him you pull him down to you height and places a soft kiss on his lips before saying “Ready to go” giving you a quick the nodded the two of you walk out the house and making your way to the party

Once your their you look around your eyes widening as you saw the building it look more like a hotel or a well renowned businesses agency then it did a party spot . Not giving you much time to take it all in Rin comes over and opens the door for you while offering his arm, the two of you walk in and are immediately greeted by Isagi and Bachira this were about the only two people Rin keep up with after blue lock.

Waiting to give your boyfriend some time and space to catch up with his friends you head over to a little booth we’re you see a large group of girl who look be either girlfriends or sisters of the former blue lock boys. You sit yourself down and listen in on what’s they we’re talking about, it was most just the normal conversation of how hot their boyfriends were how they brothers could beat anyone. You decided not to join in knowing that someone comment might set you off completely.

Finally you spot Isagi and Bachira girlfriends the three got to know each other pretty well since your boyfriend and pretty much inseparable on the field . Getting up from your sit you make you way over to the girls who were at the bar taking a couple shots once their you say with a exited tone “Hey girls” they both turn to you and they eye immediately widened. Getting up form their sit they run over to you and give you a warm hug before saying “Damn girl you look good as fuck, surprise Rin let you out the house looking like this” You let a little chuckle before replying “Same goes to the two of you, I know it was hard to get out the house” the girls then look at each other then back at you before giving a nod.

Not long after that the three of you head back over to the bar and throw a couple shot back everything was going good you guys would hit the dance floor and not and then come back and sit down because someone feet were hurting or they were thirsty. Finally you guys had enough of the dance for a hit up a empty booth once their the three of you caught up of what’s new in each others life while spilling tea about what’s going on in the soccer world. It was then that a blonde haired and a couple of his friends came up to you guys and began hitting on you.

“You girls look lonely why don’t y’all come with us” one of the guys says he places his hand y’all table while licking lips. You just look up from your phone and roll eyes thinking that they would take the hint and leave but of course they didn’t so they take a seats beside you guys trying to start up conversation but you guys weren’t having it so you say “ Can you see get the hell away from use, we’re not interested in hanging out with you” but it’s like everything you said went in one hear and out the other as he wraps his arms your neck.

Lucky for you Rin, Isagi and Bachira had finished up their conversation and had come longing for you guys. Rin’s face when he saw some other guys that wasn’t him touching you was something to be remembered, he stormed over to you and pull the guy up from the chair. “What the hell do you think your doing with my girl” Rin said his eyes full with a murderous attempt but apparently the guy must have been a masochist cause he continued to push Rin’s buttons “I was just showing her what’s it’s like to have a real man by her side” he guy said before get the wind punched out of his lungs.

Rin started to beat the shit out of the guy until his hands had blood on them finally after Isagi and Bachira pulled him off the guy did Rin quit beat the man not wasting any more time he went over to you and grab you by the wrist pulling out side of the building. Soon enough the to of you make it to Rin’s car we’re you both sit in silence until you look around looking for something to clean the blood of with

Finding some napkins you grab Rin’s hands and start cleaning them off while giving him a could talking to. “Rin what the hell were you thinking beating that guy like that what about your soccer career” you say with a upset tone you were happy he fought but he can’t just go out beating people up. Rin the mumbles something that you can’t hearing pissing you off even more “Fine if your going be a jerk then you can wipe the blood off your own hand” you say as you throw the napkin at him.

He doesn’t say anything he just takes the napkin and begins to wipe his own hands while you seat and pout. A couple more minutes go by and Rin finally says something “I’m sorry, you were right I shouldn’t have beaten that guy that badly even though he deserved it” you look over at him before grabbing his cheek and pulling to kiss “You know that’s not why I’m mad I’m mad because you but your dreams on the line for one dick head even if you looked sexy while doing” you say as you kiss him again this time making it last longer then before.

“You know you could give me a treat for being such a god boyfriend” Rin says licking his lips you look at him and roll your eyes before saying Fine, but just a quickie we don’t want be get worried”

｡☆✼★━ Smut Time ━★✼☆｡

You laid in the back seat of the car naked while your boyfriend was on top of you fully dressed, his knee spreading your legs out and rubbing right against your wetting cunt causing you to throw back your head in frustration. But Rin doesn’t let you think before he crashes his lips into your swirling his hot tongue around yours back hard for the both of you to breathe.

You both pull away and watch as the string of saliva connecting your snaps with that Rin starts to trail hot kisses down your body not stopping until he reached you wet cunt not wanting anymore time Rin started to places kiss across you puffy lips finally using his rough clauses thumb he spread your cute cunt apart before spitting on it, using his other hand he slides his spit up and down your cunt mixing it slowly with your juices once he thought you were good and wet he began to lick long hot laps across your folds.

“Fuvk Rin right there ” you moaned out as you gripped on to his raven hair and pushed him farther into your cunt.

Yet Rin didn’t mind. He loved when gripped his hair and tried to ride his face and normally he would let you put tonight was a little different. Wasting no time Rin used his hand to bring down a hard slap to your ass causing you to grip on to his hair tighter. “Did I tell you, you could ride my face sweetheart” Rin says as his tongue teases at your hole causing you to try to close your legs which only made Rin more angry “I didn’t tell you to close your legs either” Rin says this time slapping your ass harder than before.

"M'mm sorry Rin, just please keep going, I'm so close," you squirm, trying to get any be of frustration you can, deciding to give what you want Rin grabs you by the hips and pulls you in to him closer so you can't squirm why he laps up all your juices and pushes his tongue deep into your hole causing your eyes to roll back into your head. "Rin right there, don't stop," you try to add, but your words come out as a moanisg slur.

"I'm cumming," you chant as you rock your hips into Rin's tongue, but Rin abruptly stops. causing you to look at him with a wtf face expression, to which he quickly answered "The only thing you’re allowed to cum on is my cock" Rin says as he pulls down his pants and boxers, allowing his cock to jump free. His tip was glowing red and oozing with percum, and he wasted no time in aligning his cock with your wet openings and shoving his throbbing cock within, without allowing you to adjust to his size before ramming into your sloppy, wet cunt. You began crying because you felt him within you.

“God you feel so fuckin good sweetheart, so so fuckin good” Rin growls out as as he pushes your hips up and down slowly your warm cunt tighting harder around his thick cock as his hips thrust up to meet you half way. Rin could feel his cock harden his balls tighten but the only thing he could really focus on was your gummy wall and how they felt around him.

“I can’t wait to use this cunt that was just made for me, can’t wait to fill it up with my kids, can’t wait to breed it over and over again” He muttered between clenched teeth, trying his best not cum inside you just yet. His thrust became slow and deep making sure you were feeling just as good as him hit all your shots right stops with his hard cock. His eyes narrowing slightly as his grip on your hips got tighter, pushing you faster up and down his dick as your tight walls gripped him, a mix of your cream and his cum coating his length, making a ring on the base of it.

"Fuck- sweetheart , I’m going cum in you." He groans.”Want to fill you up so good and make you have my babies.”

Rin’s eyes roll to the back of his head as you give him a nod because you were to fucked out to speak , groaning and grunting as he begins to thrust harder and deeper into you, his gloved hands pulling your hips all the way down so his cock is completely inside you as his thick, warm cum fills your womb up.

"Fuck yes," you scream as your nails dig into Rin's clothed back, bringing down both of your highs. You two kissed one another that time, and before cuddling, you collected your air. Soon after, you two get ready to go back in, but just as you're about to put your pants on, Rin stops you and inserts a cute egg vibrator inside you, causing your gummy overstim cunt to clamp down around the toy. "Rin what the hell," you yell, grabbing on to run as the vibration of the toy weakens your leg. Rin simply looks at you before responding, "We don't want any of my cum to leak out now, do we?"

And with that, you two walk back inside, clamping your legs together and trying not to make any strange noises while the girls ask you if you're okay. "Hey, what's wrong with your girlfriend Rin, she's walking funny," Isagi says, with Bachira following right behind. "Yeah, it looks like something got into her or something," Rin replies, with a devilish grin painted across his face, before walking away and playing with his new favorite toy.

Kinktober still open so get in your request in before it’s closed. Link

[ghostofskywalker]

Sweet Dreams

Hunter/Reader

Fictober Day 1 of 31

Words: 914

Summary: You get a visitor in your bunk for the night, and Hunter can't help but find it adorable.

Note: happy october everyone! i'll be posting 31 fics for 31 different characters this month!

Clone Troopers Masterlist

The sound of someone whispering your name and the feeling of that same person shaking you awake was the first thing you registered when you opened your eyes. The bunk area of the Marauder was still completely dark, indicating that it was not yet morning, so you were a little confused about the reason you were being woken up at this point.

Blinking your eyes open (and trying to keep them from immediately closing again), you could see the faint outline of someone next to your bed. “You need smmm?” you managed to croak out, voice heavy with sleep. There weren’t too many rules on this ship, but one of the ones that did exist (and was usually well-respected among the squad) was the one about not waking you up, unless there was a serious problem (like fire, death, or ambush).

In the haze of your sleepy state, you could hear Omega’s voice, and as the world came into focus you could see that it was indeed the young girl who had woken you. “What’s wrong?” you asked, immediately snapping awake when you noticed the tearful expression on her face.

“I had a nightmare,” she admitted softly. “And I know you said-”

You reached out to take her hand. “I remember,” you said, shifting so that there was more space next to you in your bunk. “Do you want to lay with me for a while?”

Omega nodded, immediately crawling in next to you. A little bit after she had started traveling with you and the Bad Batch, you had all had a conversation about nightmares. When the other members of the batch had left the area, you had softly offered that if she ever had a nightmare and she wanted some company or wanted to be somewhere else, she had full permission to just crawl into your bunk, whether you were in there or not. At first she had tried to say that your offer wasn’t necessary, but softened when you talked about having nightmares yourself, and the two of you agreed that even big kids could be scared sometimes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked as she got settled next to you, and you wrapped your arm around her once she had gotten comfortable.

“Not really.” Her voice was soft and slightly shaky, and you just smiled as you brought your arm up to run through her hair, the soothing gesture bringing a smile to her face.

“That’s fine,” you whispered. “I’m here if you change your mind, but it’s okay if you just want to stay here too.”

She nodded, and you could see (even in the dark of the ship) that she was growing more and more tired. You brought your blanket up to cover more of her body than it had been before, and the sound of your soft hums guided her to sleep, with you falling back asleep right beside her.

***

As Hunter stared out at the blue streaks of hyperspace passing by, he tried to keep his fatigue at bay. If it were up to him, right now he would be snuggled up in his bunk, fast asleep as someone else took a shift making sure that nothing in the cockpit blew up while they soared between systems. But unfortunately it was his turn to spend half of the night awake, and that dream could not be a reality for another hour or so.

Well, if it was really up to him, he would be snuggled up next to you. While he did not yet have the official title of “boyfriend,” something serious was certainly developing between you and him, and sometimes the two of you shared a bunk (something he secretly hoped happened every night). He didn’t think his brothers knew anything about it, but he wasn’t sure.

By the time Echo stepped into the cockpit to relieve him of his “shift,” Hunter was yawning and could barely find the ability to stay awake. He nodded at his brother in thanks as he got up to head back to the bunks, but as he walked down the hall, he could have sworn that he heard Echo say something about not being able to sleep in his bunk, which he just barely acknowledged before stepping into the room. Suddenly, his brother’s comment made both more sense and less sense (if that even made sense at all).

Hunter’s bunk (as expected) was completely empty, but he finally found the answers to his questions when his head turned to look at your bunk.

Omega was cuddled up next to you, and the two of you had similar expressions of tranquility on your faces. He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face at the scene, and there was a part of him that wanted to see if he could get into bed as well, to try and wrap his arms around both of you. But he knew (as did Echo, apparently) that he wouldn’t be able to do so without disturbing you, and so Hunter decided to sleep in his own bunk for the night.

As he fell asleep, he tried not to think about the fact that he had apparently not been as secret in his affections as he previously thought, and it was likely that everyone on the ship knew something about his affinity for you.

And of course, he also couldn’t stop thinking about how cute you and Omega looked cuddled up together.

- the end - 

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

[chococolte]

Dude imagine sagau al-haitham getting on his knees infront of you😳😳 I would die

word count. 1k

୨୧ — ꒰ cw. yandere, unhealthy relationships, possessive & obsessive thoughts/behaviors, religious + cult themes, sagau + cult au, g/n reader. i do not condone yanderes irl.

୨୧ — ꒰ a/n. i'm going to cry if when he gets released my characterization winds up being completely off that would be so embarrassing.... anyway, i wrote this really quickly and gave it only a brief look over, so i'm sorry for the quality and any repeat words etc!!

Al-Haitham pretends like his knees do not tremble.

His feet beg him to leave. But his bones stay etched into place, like markers long left into earth. Fear clutches at his heart because it is you in front of him— you, blazing like the sun. You, glowing like the moon. You, his God.

The cold sensation seeps into his flesh as your gaze burns his skin. He wishes for nothing more than to rip it off to sinew and muscle, the weight of your eyes almost unbearable. Do you find his appearance unpleasant? Is the sight of him alone enough to displease you?

It is an odd feeling, settling next to the encroaching frost of fear. A dwindling wick of flame that hopes you find him pleasing to the eye, that wishes his veins didn't burn so fiercely with worship as they do.

Al-Haitham is not one for gods. He is not one to pray, not one to worship, not one to conceive of ways to garner your attention— and yet here he kneels, bending on bruised and purple knees, his legs still throbbing from how quickly he arrived.

Up close, Al-Haitham reckons that most could not have resisted the urge to close their eyes. A tugging at the back of his mind tells him he is not meant to look upon you. But the gluttonous, sickening mortal in him wishes to stay fixed on your figure, to breathe you in like you are air— until you are a part of him, until he never has to go a moment without you.

"Come closer," you beckon, and Al-Haitham listens as if he is a dog. His body complies with your order, his body rumbles with pleasure at the thought of doing as you say. Unlike him, he thinks in the back of his mind— but it is also unlike him to adore you, it is also unlike him to still wish to feel the buzzing of your control.

Yet, he does regardless. He still yearns for you either way, despite how he aches not to be. It is not his place, not a burden he is meant to bear; a mortal man can only be so much. But his throat still tears every night, as every worship kept hidden in the morn ushers from his lips in a frenzy, as if begging for forgiveness.

He cannot be truthful to himself when he is awake, away from you. At night, he sees you, a wraith in his memories, colorful and bright— he can't hide from how tight in your clutches he is, and how he can't bear to free himself.

Al-Haitham dimly registers the pain of his knees on gelid marble, the stone offering no comfort, but the euphoria of your gaze numbs the sting. It's only a bleary thought, caked in mud and built on with the need to see you. The pain doesn't matter anymore, not when your hands are reaching forward, nails scratching against his cheeks.

Reverence stops him from leaning into the heat of your palms, stops him from saying every wretched thought lost in his head. He wants to speak until his tongue turns numb and his throat burns raw, but he reminds himself as to why he sits beneath you.

Still, the urge remains. You would understand him. He knows this well. Your understanding has no limit— he has felt it, your acceptance of every part of him, no matter how flawed or imperfect. Every other god has failed him, but you have not.

When you breathed life into him, he saw only a fraction of your thoughts; and how stunning were they, glinting and lucent in the black recesses of his mind. He caught glimpses of the breadth of your emotions, as deep and far from his understanding as the dark sea.

It is veneration that stops him from heaving his lungs, from asking every question no mortal nor faux god can claim to know the answer to.

But he does not. He clutches every urge and keeps them hidden away until he cannot breathe. Only when he has been granted your permission will he ever ask.

"Al-Haitham," you say. "My Haitham. You wonder why I have called for you, don't you?"

"Yes," is all he trusts himself to say, soft like baby's breath. His heart bursts with a foreign vibrancy, coursing through his veins until frissons ripple across his spine.

Your eyes roll over his body, lulling to a stop on his face.

Al-Haitham has never been so acutely aware of the minor faults of his features. He has never been so thoughtful as to how another may perceive him.

"Hmm," you hum, a smile gracing your lips. His heart flutters. "This. You look much better on your knees."

His breath catches in his throat. Al-Haitham stutters, blinking to make up for his gaping silence— but the buzz of warmth spreading from his chest speaks of rapture.

He has never thought that you may find him attractive.

Your laughter peals, and he is transported to a world where it is just the two of you. It is only him, and his God; it is only him, and the one person who truly understands him.

His eyes burn, but he doesn't dare to tear them away from you.

Your smile. He freezes, thinking of only how much he wishes for it to be ingrained into his memory, how the desire scorches him from the inside. He wants to call upon it any time and place, to hear you and lay his every breath at your feet.

"Closer." Your eyes crinkle, the glimmer of candlelight twinkling within. Al-Haitham listens just as he did before, taking a breath.

Your hands run up the side of his face, reaching until you feel the back of his neck. Al-Haitham would have pushed anyone else away. He would've slapped at their fingers, precious as his space is; but it is you touching him, blessing him with the sight of you.

He can't help but lean forward, unable to resist as he did before. Al-Haitham smells you on your wrists, your scent almost overwhelming his senses. His mind races to remember it, entrenching every thought with how the air parts in your wake— how the smell of your candles is attached to your silks and drapery, how he wants nothing more than to drown in it.

When he returns to his chambers, he will write every moment of your encounter until his fingers ache and his wrists are chafed raw to the bone, and every word is enough to send him back. Anything less, and he would be failing you.

But for now, his soul yearns to get lost in you a little longer.

[orkbutch]

So, I'm not really in the weeds of Transgender Discourse on the internet (I have a life and also care about my mental health) but I've seen something discussed here about trans masculinity and I wanna talk about it.

I'm very masculine. I'm butch, I'm trans masc, I've always wanted to be masculine and I feel most comfortable when I'm presenting as such. Without much effort or any intention on my part I am read as a cis man day to day. Because I don't present more fem, in queer spaces I am read and recieved as a man, maybe trans, probably into other men. People do not even consider if I'm a butch lesbian unless there's Significant context indicating it. Because of this I'm viewed through 'Man Lens'; It feels a different if I say 'bitch', if I talk about my attraction to women. I don't get smiled at, people put physical distance between me and them as much as possible.

This is familiar for a lot of trans masculine people and trans men that aren't androgynous/fem leaning in their style, and it is an upsetting change to happen. It makes us feel judged or misunderstood to suddenly be causing this wariness in others; it feels prejudiced. I've seen people putting words to this like transmisandry. This is something they want to lessen in their communities, so they don't have to experience this anymore.

Now, here's my opinion part: That's not going to happen. You cannot tackle the "problem" of people responding to your masculinity with wariness. They aren't controlling the wariness, they can't. More importantly, their wariness toward masculinity and what registers in their brain as "man-like" is well founded. It's based in lifetimes of experiences and trauma that has told them men can be very unsafe to be around, and that is true. Most men are cis, and cis men are the most threatening thing in this world to non-cis men. They are usually* socially privileged above others, more likely to inflict violence, more likely to abuse and murder others, are typically physically more powerful than others. Everyone thats not a cis man DEEPLY internalises a very rational wariness of men, and masculine presentation as an extension. Especially men that are strangers. (*This is of course different when we consider intersections of race, colonialism, classism, ect. But globally this generalisation is still pretty accurate.)

Honestly, I don't think this wariness towards masculine presentation is something thats useful or realistic to challenge. Like many internalised processes it's probably a good idea to examine it and consider its usefulness, but I think it'd be easy to conclude that it is a useful wariness for people to have. Women have lots of reasons to be wary around men, including the unique threats of transmisogyny. Queer and gender deviant men have lots of reasons to be wary around men. This is The Reality of patriarchy.

Personally, the place I've come to with how women and queer people react to my masculinity (which is not entirely negative btw, the wariness is just one aspect) is that... I understand their wariness. I have it too, toward those my brain assumes are cis men. I cannot control how they feel or what they think about me. I can only be respectful to others and to myself and live my life. I flag my butchness where I can, I make my gender clear to those it matters to, and the rest I accept as largely beyond my influence. All of us have to do this in some places in our lives.

Even though my masculinity makes other queers wary, I have lots of friends! I've had no real trouble dating or finding intimacy. Initial wariness is just that. Once you understand each other, break the barrier, its usually settled. For anyone who finds my masculinity so offputting that we can't break the barrier, I'm glad neither of us put each other through that discomfort. I understand where a fear like that comes from. I will still hold community with them because that's what solidarity entails.

Anyway thats my ramble about masculinity in queer community, good bye until another. who knows how long

[ayyyez]

Hello how are you today? I really enjoyed that last haikyuu ask you answered about flirting, so in keeping the haikyuu train going, could you do a spice/nsfw scenario on Osamu and the reader on him eating them out (he's a food lovin' boy so it stands to reason he's big on tasting and savoring LOL). If you feel like adding more characters I also like Sugawara and to add another you like, maybe Suna? Thanks and have a great test of your day

A/N: well hellooooo Osamu spiceeeee! I love Osamu sm he's one of my favs I honestly can't get enough of him so absolutely you can get this~ haha yes thank you for the Suna option too I also love him <3

TAGS: smut, eating out reader, reader has a vagina, no pronouns used just body parts referred to, under the cut bc smut, Osamu is pussy drunk, Suga takes charge, Suna is a cheeky little shit (affectionate)

CHARACTERS: Miya Osamu, Sugawara Koushi, Suna Rintarou

OSAMU MIYA

Osamu is nestled below, your legs bent over his shoulders while his tongue licks a broad stroke right against your opening up to your clit. There he swirls his tongue around hard and sucks. Paying extra close attention to that sensitive spot.

'Mmm.' You moan. 'S'good.'

Your hand finds his hair as he repeats the motion again, this time pressing his tongue a little harder on the stroke up.

'Mm yeah, baby.'

Osamu pushes your pelvis down with a firm hand as your hips stutter up against him. He doesn't stop for a second. Continuing to lap at your juices as he works his tongue against you.

'You like it?' He slurs as he pulls away only for a second to take a breath.

'Shit yeah, don't stop.' You tug on his hair bringing him forward for emphasis.

He's wearing that dopey, pussy drunk smile as he quickly burries himself back against you. His tongue works over time. Working between licking, circling and sucking. He changes rhythm between fast and hard to lazily and wanting.

It drives you mad, like he's bringing you out to the edge on purpose.

He's not though he's just so happy down there.

It's so warm and comforting as he burries himself further into you. His fingertips settle around your thighs, kneading deep against the flesh. It's like he's trying to ground himself and feel more of you all at once.

Your moans increase as his rhythm picks up.

'Y-yeah.' It's almost too much to get out, you're breathless. 'Don't stop baby.'

Osamu groans (almost growls) against your folds and the vibrations send a shudder right through you. You're close. It's building up inside you.

Fuck. He knows what he's doing.

You barely register the way he's begun to rut against the mattress and the iron grip of his hands against your thighs. His tongue is working inside you now. Strategically prodding your entrance with such precision.

Giving his roots one last tug you have to release his hair. It's all too much. You can feel the tingles taking over your body. All you can manage to focus on is throwing your head back against the pillow.

Osamu removes one of the hands from your thighs so he can work your clit at the same time and that's what sends you over the edge.

Your cumming and Osamu doesn't stop for a moment, riding you through it. Only slowing down to a gentle stop once your body has stopped jolting and he's lapped all of you up.

The dopey smile he gives you at the end is everything.

'Hey.' He says.

'Hey.' You manage to say back.

It's only after you realise he came too just from rubbing himself against the mattress as he ate you out and watched you come undone.

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

Sugawara kneels at the edge of the bed with your legs spread in front of him. He holds one of your legs bent, back of the thigh pressing against his chest while letting the other hang off the bed. It gave him the 'perfect position to dive in' as he likes to say.

That's exactly what he is doing now: diving in.

Sugawara is an enthusiastic lover but above all else he is a massive tease.

He's got his tongue buried inside you one minute working you so good, his fingers working your clit too and then the next he's pulling you making you tell him how much you want him to continue.

Right now he's working on the tongue burying phase.

He's face deep into your pussy. Lapping up the juices, tongue working against your opening as his thumb lightly brushes your clit. It's strategic, the gentle brushes —it also means he can use the rest of his hand to hold your pelvis down as you buck up for more friction.

Suga is relentless at maintaining control over eating you out.

'Easy there.' He says as you squirm beneath him. 'Don't you want to let me make you feel good?'

You narrow your eyes at him then huff, relenting.

'Aw come on, don't be like that.' He puts a little more pressure on your clit for emphasis. 'How do we ask nicely?'

You huff again but cave. 'Please make me feel good.'

'As you wish.'

Suga goes right ahead and burries himself right back into you. He also works double time with his tongue and sucks harder. The edging part is over as long as you let him do his thing.

It's not long before you feel that coil build again and snap.

'Koushi!' Is the name that leaves your lips when you cum.

Suga won't have it any other way as he continues to lap at you and take you through your high. As you come down he'll be super smug that he's the one who made you feel that way.

SUNA RINTAROU

It's 1am and neither of you can sleep and Suna is squeezing you from behind. His hands brush under your shirt then drift lower and lower when they softly start brushing over your underwear.

'Hey.' He whispers right against your ear.

'Mmm.' You manage back.

'I'm bored, can I eat you out?'

You snort. 'You wanna eat me out 'cause you're bored?'

He chuckles a little. 'Yuh. Also because you're hot and I love you. Do I need another reason?'

'Mm I guess not?' You think on it for a second. 'Alright.'

And that's how you find a shirtless Suna lapping lazily at your pussy at 1am with the sheets half tossed down his body.

He moans a little as you push into him. It sends a little tingle up your spine and a shudder through your body. You don't need to look at him to know he's smirking. Bastard did it on purpose.

You squish his head with your thighs a little as a warning but he does an even more exaggerated moan as he sucks against your clit.

'Fuck Rin!' You chastise feeling the vibrations more intense this time. 'Stop pretending you're a vibrator and use your damn tongue!'

You can hear him snickering as he pulls off for a breath.

'But you look so cute when you squirm.' He presses a kiss to your thigh.

You sit up and yank his hair for good measure which pulls a delicious moan from him.

'Alright, alright lesson learnt! I'm sorry! I'm done.'

Getting his hair pulled was always his weak spot.

'Back to work.' He says with a smirk as he dives back down.

Immediately he begins lapping you up. He licks harder and with more of a rhythm than before. It's less lazy and more purposeful.

Suna continues at it for a while before adding his hand to the mix. He switches between his tongue and fingers, making sure to pay close attention to all your sensitive areas, including your clit. Inbetween he also comes up for air to bite your thighs right near wear they connect to your pelvis.

It's all too much. So many sensations. It's all so sensitive and stimulating.

You're cumming hard right against Suna's mouth and he pulls you close to catch it all. He strokes your thighs and gently runs his mouth against you through it.

The cheekiest damn expression on his face afterwards.

'Don't I just have the best ideas early in the morning?'

'Ahuh you're so clever with my cum on your face, babe.'

'Oh, you wanna give me a kiss?'

Never a dull moment with Suna.

[letstevengrantsleep]

Part Six

Previous part / Next part

Eddie Munson x reader slow burn

part summary: Jake tries to get you back, and everything comes to a head for him and Eddie

word count: 1,406

warnings: arguments, fights, using 'whore' and 'bitch' as insults, punching (reader is only witness to this), ANGST, horrid relationship dynamics, lots of anger and outbursts

a/n: Here it is! The crescendo. We'll be staying a little drab for a chapter after this and then we're on the slow up and up I promise. This chapter is heavy, and I apologise for that. But we need to hit the bottom to be able to climb back up, right? Please, please let me know if I missed any warnings that you think should be on this chapter.

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A week has passed since meeting Rob in the shop, and life has once more settled into a monotonous rhythm. You're back at your own home, having left Steve's behind in favour of familiarity and some alone time. Each morning, you drag yourself out of bed, the weight of routine pressing down hard.

Work has been a blur. You move through tasks mechanically, you mind often drifting. Conversations with customers feel distant, their words barely registering as the hours tick by slowly, each one blending into the next.

Evenings are the hardest. Coming home to an empty apartment, feeling like a ghost in your own home as you move through the motions of cooking, eating, and cleaning without ever really being present. The silence is deafening, a stark contrast to the lively conversations you are used to having with customers, with Steve. With Eddie and Rob.

Throughout the week, you find yourself calling Rob more often than you expected to. His calm voice is a balm for your frayed nerves, and your conversations, though brief, provide a sense of normalcy. Rob is understanding and patient, never pushing you to talk about more than you are willing to, or comfortable with. Yet, every call leaves you with a pang of guilt. You can't shake the feeling that you are somehow betraying someone.

Eddie. You bump into him one night at the grocery store, which only adds to your inner turmoil. You watch as his eyes light up when he sees you, and for a moment the weight on your shoulders lifts. You chat about mundane things, but the warmth of his gaze makes you feel safe, like you can finally breathe. As you part ways, Eddie gives you a reassuring smile, and you feel a flicker of something deep in your gut.

Their dynamics are so different. With Rob there's a sense of stability and calm, a promise of a fresh start. With Eddie, there's a deep connection, something that makes you feel understood and protected.

It makes you feel like a zombie, all of it, just fulfilling tasks and existing in routine. The spark that Eddie ignited that night at the party seems to flicker, overshadowed by the shadows following you.

-

You heart sinks into the pit of your stomach as you climb the last few stairs to your apartment and come face to face with your door, ajar. You take a moment, hesitating, before pushing it open further and stepping inside, pulse quickening.

There, sat on your couch with tear stained cheeks, is Jake. His eyes are red and puffy as he looks up at you, practically trembling as he whimpers your name.

"I just had to see you."

You take a step back, eyes instinctively flicking over to the landline on the other side of the room. "Jake, you shouldn't be here. How did you..-" you frown, confused as to how he got into your home.

He stands, movements slow and deliberate. "Your spare key," he dangles it in front of his face, saying your name. "Please, just hear me out. I know I messed up, but I can change. I love you, I can't live without you."

Your heart aches with a horrid mixture of fear and pity, "Jake, please don't... it's over. You hit me. I can't see past that."

You watch as his expression hardens, stepping back as he takes a step forwards. "No. You don't understand. We can fix this. We were good together. Remember?"

You shake your head, eyes flicking to the phone again, "No. No Jake I can't do this."

His desperation turns to anger. "You're just saying that because of him aren't you?"

'What?" You ask, genuinely confused. "Do you mean Eddie? Jake we didn't even know each other before that night."

Jake's face twists with rage. "You're such a whore, you know that?" He spits his words out, taking another step towards you. "After everything we've been through, you're going to leave me so you can fuck around with some freak?"

"Jake I think you need to leave."

"No." He shakes his head, lunging forwards to grip at your arm with a bruising grip. "You're not going anywhere until we sort this out."

You struggle to break free, heart pounding in your chest. "Let go of me, Jake!"

In a desperate bid for freedom, you manage to twist out of his grasp and run for the hallway. You fumble with the phone, dialing the only number you can think of with fumbling fingers. Just as you press the call button, Jake knocks the phone out of your hand. You watch, paralysed, as Jake becomes more volatile, screaming at you with flailing arms as he paces back and forth.

You try and make some distance between the two of you as he shouts threats and accusations at you, mind racing with fear. You glance at the phone on the floor, a trickle of relief running over you as you hear a faint voice on the other end of the line.

Hello? You there?

Jake’s rage is palpable. “You’re not going anywhere until we sort this out!”

Your fear spikes, honestly it feels like you're done for. Seconds feel like hours as Jake’s shouting grows louder, his words blending into a terrifying roar. The walls seem to close in on you, and it feels like you can barely breathe. You keep your eyes on the door, praying for Eddie to arrive.

Finally, you hear the roar of Eddie’s van pulling up outside. Relief washing over you as Eddie comes crashing through the door, his eyes blazing with fury.

"Get away from her, Jake." Eddie growls, stepping between you and Jake.

"You think you're some kind of hero, don't you? Coming in here, acting like you're saving her?"

Eddie's voice stays steady, but his anger is palpable. "I'm here because she needs help."

Jake laughs bitterly. "Help? That's what you call it?" He takes a step towards you, glaring with red hot anger between you and Eddie. "Or is it just an excuse to get close to her?"

Your heart pounds as you watch the confrontation escalate. "Jake stop it, this isn't about Eddie."

Jake ignores you, his focus entirely on Eddie. "Admit it, freak. You've been waiting for this. You think you can just take her from me?"

Eddie scoffs, taking a step closer to Jake. "She's not some fucking object to be taken, Jake. She's her own person and she deserves way better than you."

Jake's face twists once more, the rage radiating off him. "You're sleeping with her, aren't you? That's what this is all about. You've been together behind my back!"

He's clearly not thinking straight, saying things that don't make sense. "Jake, you know that's not true."

"Don't fucking lie to me, bitch, I know what's going on."

Eddie’s patience snaps. “You don’t know anything, Jake. You lost her because of what you did, not because of me.”

Jake lunges forward, but Eddie is ready for it. He blocks Jake’s advance, pushing him back with a force that left no room for argument. “Get out, Jake. Now.”

Jake’s lunges again, but this time Eddie doesn't hold back. With a swift, powerful punch, Eddie’s fist connects with Jake’s jaw, sending him stumbling backward. The sound of the impact echoes through the room, and for a moment, everything is still.

Jake clutches his jaw, his eyes wide with shock and pain. “You’ll regret that, Munson,” he spits, his voice filled with venom.

Eddie stands his ground, eyes blazing with fury. "No. No I don't think I will, Jake." Eddie steps forward, "you ever come here again, or lay a fucking finger on her again, and I will make sure you end up with more than a busted face."

Jake's bravado falters and you watch with wide eyes as he takes a step back, realising he's outmatched. "This isn't over." He points a finger in Eddie's face, but the fight is gone from him.

You watch with bated breath as Jake retreats out of your door, head hung low and fists balled at his side.

Eddie turns to face you, expression slowly softening as his breathing slows too, "are you okay?" he rushes to your side, hands finding a home on either side of your face as his eyes frantically run over your face.

Your bottom lip begins to quiver, tears welling up in your eyes.

Taglist

@sapphire4082 @twirls827 @bewr0210 @maskofmirrors @saramelaniemoon @halialex1119 @mugloversonly

[niningtori]

see me | chapter one: distance

summary: after another failed relationship, you're ready to give up once and for all. your best friend's little brother, beomgyu, has other plans.

genre: angst, angst with a happy ending, romance, fluff

word count: 3k-ish idk

your eyes watered as the bitter taste of vodka seared the back of your throat, settling uncomfortably in a pool of heat churning in your stomach.

"slow down! you're gonna make yourself sick," your best friend, jia, chastises.

"let her have her fun," beomgyu, her little brother, quietly interjects before you can even finish flushing down the alcoholic aftertaste with your chaser. "she's going through a lot right now."

you nod half-heartedly while sloppily sliding your elbows onto the table, smushing your tear-stained face into your hands and sighing. jia winces at the action before relenting.

"fine. let loose tonight, but this is the last time you're getting this drunk over a piece of shit guy." maybe if she were anyone else you'd resent the harshness of her words, but even in your drunken state you register the softness in her tone.

"wait here, i'll get you some water," and with that she rises and reveals her plain outfit, sticking out like a sore thumb in the strobe neon lights of the flashy bar you're in. you're not looking any better, both of you having come here after having a seemingly normal saturday of running your respective errands and nothing more. that is, until you ended up a few blocks away from your boyfriend of 9 months' apartment and decided to pop in, only to find him absolutely drilling into his girl best friend. the one he claimed you had "nothing to worry about" because "she was just a childhood friend" and you were always so "irrationally jealous" to the point of "borderline paranoia." needless to say, you called jia while booking it to your car. which led you to where you are now: severely underdressed with makeup smudged and eyes swollen.

"are you okay?" beomgyu asks tentatively. you know he knows the answer and he's just trying to comfort you, so your gaze redirects to him and he shifts somewhat uncomfortably under your surveying eye. you and jia may look underdressed, but he certainly doesn't. he blends right in with his band tee and distressed jeans. sitting alone with him probably makes you look even more ridiculous, and though you shouldn't care, you can't help but imagine what others were most likely thinking when they saw you wiping your snot in between shots.

"i'm not," you mumble, and he relaxes a bit now that you're talking again. "i'm sorry, beomie. i'm sorry you got stuck with," you gesture to yourself, "this." and you really were. jia had been with him when you called and once he heard what happened, he insisted on tagging along and scrapping whatever plans he had for the rest of the night.

"do you want to talk about it?" he asks softly. "you don't have to if you don't want to, but i think it would make you feel better."

to that, you smile. despite the age difference, you two had grown quite close in the 8 years you had been friends with jia. In fact, in college it had become a tradition for you to accompany her to her family's once she found out you wouldn't be going home for your first thanksgiving break.

there was nothing worth going to your own home for, you had told her, so she demanded you come to her place instead. as stubborn as she was, you eventually relented after she promised her family was actually excited to meet her dorm mate and new best friend. there you met her parents and beomgyu, and from then on they had accepted you into their family so warmly it had become a given that you would always stay there for any time away from school. that is, until you met your first boyfriend. but you were hellbent on ignoring that part.

"i don't think there's that much to talk about," you sigh. he raises his eyebrows, so you continue. "i thought that maybe there was something going on between him and his best friend, but he convinced me that i was just being controlling. i felt really guilty about it so i dropped it, but i guess i shouldn't have. i just feel so fucking stupid," you choke out.

"it's not your fault. he manipulated you, of course you would want to trust him after he guilted you like that," he says while pushing your hair behind your ear as fresh tears rolled down your face. had you been sober, you might have questioned the intimacy of this, but at present all you could do was revel in it. your phone buzzes again and you immediately reject the call. he had called at least a dozen times and left twice as many text messages. at your rejection, he sends another one, and you read it aloud — more for your own comprehension than beomgyu's —missing the way his stare darkens for just a second.

"baby can we please just talk? i'm so so so sorry it was a mistake. i feel like shit for hurting you. please can you just answer so we can fix this? i love you." you dig your head in your hands before meeting beomgyu's gaze.

"are you gonna answer him?" he asks.

"i don't know, beomie. i just — i kind of feel like at this point i might have to just accept it."

"what do you mean you just have to accept it?" if he's trying to hide his disgust, he doesn't do it well.

"what i mean is that maybe there's a reason 3 out of my 4 boyfriends have cheated on me. maybe it's me? i dunno," you sigh, "i think i might just have to accept the fact that he cheated and forgive him."

"that's bullshit," beomgyu bites out. "you don't deserve any of this shit. not every guy is gonna treat you like that." you smile sadly at his insistence. what he's saying is so sweet, but you're sincerely beginning to think maybe you're cursed to have an unfaithful boyfriend.

"i really think it's just not in the cards for me. is there something so bad about me that this keeps happening to me? actually, don't answer that. i don't think i want to know."

"i'm serious," he insists. "no guy in his right mind would treat you like that."

you want to smile at that, but you physically can't.

"that's easy for you to say, beomie, but you don't exactly treat girls the nicest, either." he balks at this.

"that... that's because i—"

"here. drink this, now." jia cuts in, back with some water. you don't take note of beomgyu's crestfallen appearance.

"thanks jiji," you say with a smile.

"anything for you," she replies.

beomgyu still looks like he's trying to fish words out from the bottom of a barrel, but you leave him be. you're still thinking about your ex's texts and what they mean. he said it's his first, and only, time fucking her, but the betrayal is unbearable. you'd think that after this happened with the third boyfriend in a row, you'd be used to it, but it still feels as fresh as the first time. and this one seems to hurt even more because you really thought this one was going somewhere. he had hinted at moving in together and you were so, so ready to take the next step. so much for that, you guess.

-

he was 14 when he first met you. his sister had told him her new roommate was tagging along and warned him not to be too awkward around her — a pointless warning, really. at 14 he was still a stuttering mess in front of girls his age, let alone someone 4 years his senior, but he promised he'd do his best nonetheless. when his mother told him to be ready because you two were nearly there his palms were already sweating, but when you walked in, face tired from the long drive but eyes remaining bright, his mind went into full panic-mode and his throat went dry. "hi, beomgyu. it's nice to meet you," you said with the softest of smiles and his heart stuttered with every syllable.

your first night at the choi's was fun; jia's family was determined to make you feel welcome and you spent most of the night laughing and learning more about your new friend. after dinner, mr. choi busted out the boardgames and when you saw just how seriously they all took it, you realized where jia got her competitiveness from. she made a particularly callous move in monopoly, earning complaints from her parents and you had to stifle a giggle as the previously silent beomgyu pouted with a "jiaaaa, how could you do this to me?!?" he quickly came out of his shell after that, and needless to say, you were a little shocked at just how loud the boy could be.

as much fun as you had, you were a little emotionally fatigued after such an eventful night. you had never known families could get along as well as jia's did, and in between smiles and questions about yourself, you couldn't stop your heart from aching just a little. how nice would it be if you had a home like this to come back to? how did it feel to have a family who was truly interested in how you're feeling?

as everyone headed to bed, jia noticed your uneasiness and asked if you wanted to talk about it, but you declined. you could tell she was tired and you didn't want to worry her. in a rare moment of vulnerability, she thanked you for coming and told you her parents were so happy you were friends. you smiled as you watched her fall asleep, making sure her breathing was heavy and slow before tiptoeing out of her room, closing the door, and heading out to the back porch.

the stars looked so much brighter here, you noticed. your hometown was pretty big, so the pollution made it impossible to enjoy the sky like this. you wondered what things were like back home. you had been alone with these thoughts for 15 minutes or so before you heard shuffling from inside the house. when you heard the backdoor open you began to say "I'll be back inside in like 2 min—" before you turned and saw beomgyu there, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. his limbs were awkward and gangly but his slightly rounded face and doe eyes made him absolutely adorable to you.

"oh, hi. is everything okay?" you asked slightly worriedly as he stood frozen, mouth agape.

"i-i... you're cold outside?"

you couldn't stop your giggling that time. "i'm sorry, what was that?" you said between laughs. he blushed and you felt a little guilty.

"i'm- it's cold outside. you're probably freezing. wait here," he said before scrambling back inside. he returned with a blanket and your heart warmed.

"take this. it's freezing and that jacket you're wearing isn't enough. look, your nose is red!" he said worriedly.

"wow beomie," you teased, using his family's nickname for him. "i had no idea you were this thoughtful." and just like your nose, his face flushed a deep red.

"hey, I'm just kidding," you softened. "do you want me to head back inside so you can hang out here?" his eyes widened again and you began to fidget to leave your spot on the porch steps.

"n-no. you can stay here, i'll just go back inside."

"you don't have to do that. why don't you just hang out with me for a bit?" there it was. your breezy attitude that left him stumped. you had been so laidback and charming through every interaction with his family, and with himself even, as painfully awkward as he was. but as unbothered as you seemed, he could see the anxiety in your expressions when you thought no one was looking. a shaky breath here, a bitten fingernail there. you hid it from the others masterfully, but his eyes had been trained on you from the moment you stepped into his house, and even you couldn't avoid the occasional slip up. he desperately wanted to comfort you,

"uh, i-if you're okay with me being with you —i mean like being out here while you are also here — then i'll sit too." he knew you had to have noticed his anxiety, but you made no mention of it and instead smiled and patted the open space next to you.

"so. what brings you out here?" you asked.

"i, uh, like to come out here a lot when i can't sleep. it helps me clear my head, i guess." you nodded and didn't ask any more questions, for which he was thankful. he didn't want to have to lie instead of explaining that you were the focal point of his mind back then, and he wanted to come out there to calm himself down.

"it's nice out here. i can see why you come out so often."

"what about you?" he asked tentatively.

"me? i guess i'm just like you. i'm trying to," you paused to find the words "clear my head and recenter right now."

"oh. why?" you locked eyes with him and noticed that his eyes twinkle even more than usual under the starry sky. he didn't balk at the sudden eye contact, just looked at you earnestly as if he was afraid of missing a single word. to both of your surprise, you actually answered, delving into some of the details of your home life. nothing major, but still personal enough to matter. he nodded when appropriate and asked a question every now and then. after your little venting session, you looked at him and gave him the brightest smile yet.

"thanks beomie, you're a great listener and i really like talking to you. i hope i get to do it more often." i really like talking to you. i really like talking to you. you really like talking to him. you wanted to talk to him again. in fact, you hoped you did. his heart skipped a beat and he gulped in a way he only hoped to god was discreet.

"any time, i swear," and he meant it.

-

you had just turned 20 when you met him. doyoon was everything you could have ever wanted (or needed) from a man at any point in time, let alone at 20 years old. he was a TA for one of your lectures and from the moment he accidentally spilled his coffee on his laptop when he tried to ask you out, you were smitten. he was 1 year your senior, set to graduate that academic year, but who can stop love once it starts?

beomgyu was 16 when he felt like the world was crashing down around him. he pinched his arm (just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating) and asked jia not once, but twice to repeat herself. still, the words remained the same: "she won't be coming home for thanksgiving because she'll be with her boyfriend."

his stomach ached and his complexion turned pallid. jia watched him with worry. "beomie, are you okay?"

"so she's staying at his family's?" he ignored her question so pointedly that she somewhat doubted if she ever asked it in the first place. "isn't that too fast? and what about us?" about me? if you met him in august, that meant you had only been dating for 3 months. meanwhile, you had known him for 2 whole years!

"i mean, in my opinion, yeah. but there's nothing i can do about it besides support her and hope for the best," she mused. "he actually seems like a nice enough guy," she added off-handedly. if only she knew how her words decimated him. she spread the unfortunate (for him) news to her parents and while slightly disappointed that you wouldn't be joining, they were happy you seemed to be in a healthy relationship.

that evening, he happened to hear a call between you and his sister through the shared wall between their rooms. he didn't happen to press his ear on it, that part was completely intentional.

"did you tell everyone that i'm sorry i couldn't be there this year? i miss them all," and he could hear how much you meant it.

"yeah, they were battering me with questions about doyoon. you'd better be prepared for an onslaught of questions next time you come home." you snorted and whined in response but he can almost see the upturn of your lips at the choi's house being referred to as "home", even through a wall and a phone. "how's doyoon's family?"

"they're so so nice," you sigh contentedly. "i was afraid it might be awkward since our relationship is so new, but they've been nothing but kind and inclusive." beomgyu can't help but feel indignant at the idea that a family could be more welcoming to you than his.

"i'm glad they're treating you well, i was afraid i was gonna have to come rescue you myself. how's doyoon?"

"i've got a really good feeling about him, jia. he's just so... mature? and experienced? " with that, beomgyu's heart sunk to his feet.

"first of all, ew. i don't need to know that," jia teased. beomgyu decided he didn't need to know that either, so he moved away from the wall dejectedly. if he had continued to listen he'd have heard you feverishly denying that you were implying anything sexual, but he already felt like he was being punished for eavesdropping. he knew he was too young for you at present, but in 2 years he'd be 18 and it wouldn't matter anymore. somewhere in the back of his mind he had hoped you would wait for him, unconsciously or not. you could be each other's first everything.

that dream is dashed after 2 whole years of pining, but he'd remember your words for the rest of his life. if you wanted a guy who's mature, he'd be more mature. if you wanted a guy with more experience, he'd get more experience. all you ever have to do is ask once, and maybe not even that much.

-

"just tell her you like her, man," yeonjun says with a sigh.

"he doesn't like her, he loves her," taehyun cuts in.

"well, tell her you love her then!"

"i can't do that," beomgyu argues defensively. "she still sees me as a 14 year old kid."

"that's tough," kai nods.

"then put it down on her and stop complaining," yeonjun says with a roll of his eyes.

"don't be gross," beomgyu says, smacking the back of his head.

"i'm not! i'm serious."

"he has a point, gyu," taehyun chimes in.

"oh god, not you too," beomgyu groans.

"we're just saying she wouldn't think of you as a kid anymore if you would just act like a man and not a lovesick puppy," yeonjun reasons.

"yeah man, you don't act like this with any other girl. just be normal," taehyun says.

"she's not just any other girl to him, she's the girl," soobin argues out of seemingly nowhere and beomgyu blushes. he's not wrong, though. if he cared less about you, it'd be easier to get with you.

he always said he'd wait until you were single to make a move, but you were with doyoon for three whole years. then joonwoo for 6 months. then seoyun for 8 months. then donghyun for 9 months. at 26, you're nothing short of a serial monogamist, and he was always just on the precipice of gathering his courage to ask you out when you enter another relationship.

jia said you were coping with your breakup with doyoon in your own sick little way, but that didn't really make beomgyu feel any better. to him, that just meant you were still stuck on the man he felt so inferior to. but after seeing how fucked up you were after your last relationship, he was just about done with waiting for you to look at him.

[animasolaoriginal]

(3) I n n o c e n c e L o s t

He finds her in a brothel of all places. A chance encounter, but one that will change his life – and hers – forever. – or: A story about a cowboy who falls in love with a prostitute, who happens to be so much more than that.

GENERAL TAGS: NSFW! Explicit! Size difference, age gap, slow burn romance. Cowboys, outlaws, prostitutes. Historical inaccuracy. Horses, guns, violence.

Chapter 1▫️2▫️3▫️4▫️5▫️6▫️7▫️8▫️9▫️10▫️11▫️12▫️13 ...

Chapter 3: The Promise

m!OC x f!OC -- WORDS: 5.5k -- READ ON AO3

when a girl meets a bunch of outsiders

Chapter 2 -- Chapter 4

3

Wow.

When the girl returns from Ginny's wagon, she looks like a completely different person. A young woman. Long brown hair in a messy side braid, hanging over her shoulder. She's wearing a dark green skirt with a white underskirt peeking past the hem, reaching her calves, made of stiff cotton, hitched up at one side to reveal a pale knee clad in the ruffled fabric of a pair of long bloomers. Frilly white socks in dark ankle boots. Her torso is covered in a loose violet linen blouse, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, hugging her soft chest, hinting at the small mounds beyond, buttoned up high enough to hide any sign of cleavage or too much skin.

He's almost a little disappointed.

But in his mind he still sees the naked girl as she steps out of the tub, water running down her pale skin, along the gentle curves of her body and the harsher edges of her hipbones, her hands outstretched as she offers him support to get out as well, her arms squishing those soft little breasts together. His large hands close around her wrists, and he gets up with a groan, his body heavy from the warm water, the rest of the alcohol, the comfort of being with her.

She leads him to the bed, his eyes roam her small frame, the way her hips sway, her rear, those small but plump cheeks, how her thighs move when she walks, the muscles in her calves. He barely registers how she grabs a towel, how she dries his large body, then hers, all he sees and smells and wants is her. Her big green eyes look up at him, and it might have been a trick of the light, but he sees hunger in them, her pupils slightly dilated.

He watches her as she crawls onto the bed, on all fours, then spins around and lies down on her back, legs pressed together, a little stiff, before she settles on the sheets, hair splayed out around her head as she sinks onto the pillow, a slight jiggle to her small breasts, her arms resting above her head in a submissive sort of gesture.

His body moves on its own, his mind spinning, the weight of his cock a constant reminder what he really wants, but when he climbs onto the bed, over her, he takes a deep breath, his eyes roaming her frame, every inch of her pale, slender body, and then he simply lies down on her, focused on not squishing her, his heavy head resting right in the valley between her breasts, his arms snaking around her small body, so tiny, so frail, so vulnerable, and he still wants to press his broader frame to her soft skin, feel her warmth.

His hips encircle her pelvis, her upper thighs, he feels the slight throbbing of his cock as it's squished between his lower stomach and her leg, and then... he just fell asleep. Too comfortable to follow the images in his head of doing things to her he probably shouldn't be doing, no matter how much he wants to. (Keira's kid.) Before he drifts off into blissful unconsciousness, he feels her small hands on his back, sliding into his hair, holding him like he's holding her.

And now she's here, in his camp, away from the grueling life of servicing random men. She looks different, she walks differently. More timid, as if the world is too big for her, the sky too blue, the sun too warm, too many unknowns around her. But he'll help her adjust, he'll take care of her, he's promised himself this the moment he has seen Keira in her, heard of her story.

He still can't believe the woman he once loved would leave her own daughter like this, destined to be degraded every night, to be just a body, a mouth, a throat, to be used. There has to be more to that story.

Like there is more to the establishment she has worked in. He had no idea about the strings attached to a simple brothel in a small town, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, whose hands are pulling them, who he has made very mad probably. But then again he doesn't care. She's safe now. She was one of many girls, why would they come after her specifically?

He sighs the many thoughts away and walks towards her, watches Ginny tug on her blouse, fluffing it up a little, making it more airy, loosen a few buttons. The girl blushes when he approaches them, meeting his eyes with a shy smile.

“Beautiful,” he says in a low hum, tilting his head. She blushes even more (or is that rouge on her cheeks?) and looks away, a soft little giggle falling over her full lips.

“Functional,” Ginny exclaims with a laugh and pats the girl on the back a little too hard, causing her to stumble a bit. “This weather can be brutal in too many layers. I'll pick up some more clothes for you later, dearie,” she tells Nebbia with a motherly smile, and she nods at the red-haired woman, muttering a soft: “Thank you.”

Ginny laughs and walks to stand next to Ben, looking back over her shoulder. “She may look like Keira, but she is so much more polite,” she whispers at him, and he huffs a chuckle and nods. “Be good to her, huh?” she adds and pokes her finger into his side playfully before she keeps walking.

“Of course,” he growls, his eyes still fixed on the brunette in front of him.

Then they are alone, and she looks so small and helpless, her hands fidgeting with the fabric of her wide skirt. He takes a step closer, looking down at her. She tilts her chin up and meets his gaze. There's more than shyness to her expression now, there's curiosity, expectation. Like she's waiting for him to take her hand and show her this new world he's brought her to.

And so he does, his long fingers close around her wrist, move down until he envelops her small hand in his, and with a crooked smirk, he tilts his head to her and nudges her onward, pulling her along towards where the horses graze in the bright sun, their coats shimmering in the light, their manes and tails moving slightly in the warm breeze.

She squeezes his hand gently when she follows him. “They're so pretty,” she whispers as he watches how her eyes wander over the various horses until she spots the large black stallion, bigger than all the others, on the other side of the meadow, grazing in the shadows near the trees. “Hey, is that the horse that carried us last night? The black one?” she asks quietly, looking up at him with her big green eyes. Like deep water pierced by the rays of the sun, shifting, glowing.

He's lost in those eyes for a moment, but nods nonetheless. “Come on, let me properly introduce you to Thunder,” he says with a smile and leads her along the edge of the field towards his horse.

“Thunder?” Her voice sounds almost mocking.

He scoffs. “Yes. You don't think that's a good name for a big black Friesian?”

She mouths something he can't understand, as if repeating a word she's never heard before. “Why Thunder?” she then asks with childlike curiosity.

“Well, I've won him in a round of poker, and it was a stormy night... and I was drunk out of my mind, so...” he explains with a shrug, giving her a smirk. She replies it in earnest.

“I guess it's better than Lightning Bolt or something,” she muses.

He laughs, stopping and raising their joined hands to point towards a large gray Mustang with a black mane. She frowns at him, then looks that way. “Let me introduce you to Lightning Bolt,” he chuckles. “Mitch's horse. Won the same night.”

“Oh,” she makes and stifles a snicker. “You are very creative men...” she says before she looks up at him. “Who's Mitch?”

“The man at the table who's been smoking,” he says and keeps walking, squeezing her hand. “The man you probably heard this morning. We are a tight-knit, more or less democratic community, but he runs things around here. He might look and sound stern, but he'll warm up to you, don't worry.”

She gives a doubtful humming sound, falling silent then. He throws her a side-glance and continues on their way along the meadow until they reach the large black horse. Thunder snorts in greeting, bowing his large head towards them.

Ben lets go of Nebbia's hand and pats the animal heartily. “Hello, old boy. Well rested, huh?” With one hand on his strong neck, slipping his fingers through his long mane, he reaches the other out towards the girl who keeps a respectful distance. She looks particularly small next to the giant steed. “Come on, don't be afraid, he's mild as a dove,” he chuckles.

She raises an eyebrow but cautiously puts her hand on his large palm. He pulls her closer, then places her hand onto Thunder's shiny black coat. He's warm to the touch, muscles twitching beneath their hands. She gasps slightly as Ben moves her hand along the back, letting her feel the strong muscles and warmth of his skin. He stands right behind her, caging her in between his body and the horse.

Thunder's withers stands at proud five foot six, probably six inches taller than the girl trying to look over his massive body. She is still petting the patient animal, when he leans back a little, about to slip his hands into his pockets, but then he has the urge to grab her waist and lift her up. And he does. She yelps and squeals, but doesn't kick him, luckily, until he's sat her sideways on the horse, her eyes wide, her lips trembling, her hands trying to grab his wrists in support.

“Still afraid of heights, hm?” he muses, looking up at her, his hands resting on her hips.

She nods. “Please set me down,” she whispers. “It's even worse when I can actually see the ground...”

“Don't look down then,” he laughs, holding her in place. Thunder snorts but doesn't move.

“Will you hold me?” she asks, her voice a breathy whisper, shaking slightly.

“Of course.”

He sees her swallowing before she dares to look around, her breath slowly easing as she focuses on the forest and the meadow and the house in the distance. She even looks up into the blue sky and inhales deeply, her chest rising under her blouse. But as soon as he lets go of her, she gasps and stares at him.

“Calm down,” he chuckles, remaining close to the horse, her shoes brushing against his arm. “Maybe you'll like it more if you'd sit like a man,” he then tells her.

“Like a –”

“With one leg on either side.”

“Oh,” she breathes. “But my skirt –”

“Lift it up a little, I'll hold you,” he says and puts his hands back on her waist while she fidgets with the hem of her long skirt. She hitches it up to her knees, revealing more of the long bloomers beneath it. “Now try to throw one leg over his neck.”

She leans into his hold (the trust she has in him is both impressive and a little concerning) and does as he's suggested. He helps her by lifting her slightly, allowing her skirt to ride up more as she moves her leg over the horse's body. The thick fabric is gathered in her lap now, her bare shins hanging off either side.

“Grab his mane,” he instructs, gently nudging her elbow to make her do it. She is a little stiff on the horse's back (such a tiny girl on this giant animal), her hands shaking, but eventually she digs her fingers through the thick black hair and grabs a tuft of it in each hand. “You're doing great, sweetheart,” he praises, and she turns her head to him and smiles timidly.

He keeps one hand on her lower back, showing her he's there, but lowers his other hand to grab a hold of Thunder's halter, then nudges the reins free from where they're tugged to a post. Taking a step forwards, he sees the horse following his movements, slowly starting to bring his large body into motion, and Nebbia yelps in surprise, gripping the mane tighter when she sways slightly backwards.

“It's alright, relax, I got you,” he tells her, but her body is tense under his hand. “You won't fall. Trust me.”

He feels her taking a shuddering breath as she white-knuckles the tufts of hair in her small hands. A sigh of his own escapes him as his hand wanders towards her tight fists, gently easing her grip. She looks at him, pressing her lips together. He keeps his hand there and leads the large Friesian in a half-circle across the meadow, his heavy hooves stomping loudly over the grass.

“He moves so gracefully,” he hears her whisper, and smiles up at her. “Despite his build.”

He laughs at that. “Never judge a large guy by his build alone, eh?” he muses, throwing her a wink. A few red spots move onto her pale cheeks and a smile tugs at the corner of her lips. He gently squeezes her hands.

“Can I get down now? I should probably be more... productive,” she whispers, and he remembers Mitch's words. No slacking. He nods with a sigh and turns Thunder around, bringing him back to his spot in the shade. By the end of the round, she sits much more relaxed on top of the large animal.

He puts the reins back around the post, patting the horse's neck gently. “Well done, boy.” Then he turns to the girl on his back, tilting his head with a smirk. “So, you think you can get down yourself?” he asks, putting his hands on his hips, shifting his belt slightly.

The tiny girl looks down at him with a fearful pout, hands still gripping the mane tightly. “Please help me,” she mouths barely audible.

“Try to put your leg over his neck again,” he says, dropping his arms and stepping closer. “Don't worry, I'll catch you if you slip.”

She holds his gaze, then focuses on what he's told her. She's still stiff, very tense in her movements, but somehow she manages to pull her leg towards him, sitting sideways again now. He smiles up at her and reaches his arms out, beckoning her closer. This trust in him... what does she see in him that makes her so trusting?

Suddenly she leans forwards, her hands finding his forearms, then his shoulders, while his hands scrape along her sides, trying to grip her waist, and with a slight “Oof” from him and a tiny yelp from her, she falls into his arms, wraps hers around his neck and slumps against his chest as she slips off the horse's back. He holds her, arms tightly around her small body, pressing her against him.

He can't help but inhale deeply, take in her scent, remember last night.

Her cheek moves over his, soft skin against the roughness of his beard. She holds onto him, relaxing in his hold, the tension falling off her. Thunder gives off a loud whinny and breaks through his thoughts, his memories of her naked body beneath his, of his wants, of her lips around –

With a deep sigh, he loosens his grip and lets her slip down his body until her feet meet the ground, her arms outstretched, hands gripping the back of his neck as she looks up at him. Hopeful, intrigued, a little flustered and confused. Her cheeks are reddened. His hands rest on her waist, thumbs rubbing over her stomach, fingers tracing the curve of her spine. He wants to rip off that violet blouse, expose her, really feel her...

“Thank you,” she whispers, and he doesn't know what exactly she's thanking him for, but he takes it, nods with a soft smile, watches her, awfully aware that he shouldn't look at her like this. Not in broad daylight, not here with everyone watching him like he's gone mad for bringing this girl to their camp.

But he had to. And when push comes to shove, he will go with her, if they don't want him, he will not leave her to her own devices. Not now that he knows that she exists.

He takes a deep breath, and she sees it as a sign to let go of him. Her hands move slowly down along his chest before she drops them, the same moment he drops his, and she takes a step back, almost bumping into the large black horse behind her.

“Alright,” he sighs and puts his hands into his pockets. “Lemme show you what you can do around here to get on Mitch's good side,” he tells her with a wink and tilts his head to the side to show her to follow him. She nods eagerly and walks with him.

Nebbia is surprisingly enthusiastic about the various chores they have around the camp. He shows her the laundry buckets near the back of the house where a small creek bubbles along the line of the trees, the clothing lines spanned between them, drying clothes already on them. They meet Milly, the oldest of the women, her toothless smile full of joy at the sight of the much younger girl.

The next station he brings her to is the cooking wagon. The cart is full of supplies, mostly tin cans, but there's fresh meat hanging outside the tent erected next to it, drying in the sun. The smell is mouthwatering already. A large pot rests on a stand above a fire-pit, a big ladle inside, bowls of various shapes and sizes piled up around it. Soup of the day, or of most days. They don't get too much variation around here. But it's a belly filling meal, warm and tasty, so he doesn't complain.

On their way to the supply tent, they walk past a group of men lounging around a smaller fire, sitting on the dirt, backs against the logs around them, smoking and drinking already, laughing at their own jokes. It's Bob, Bill and Joe, their best shooters, fastest riders, but also their most degenerate. They're good on a job, but bad among people. He's tempted to avoid them by taking the girl in a wide circle around them, but despite their mid-day buzz, they spot her immediately. Bob's whistle cuts the air.

“Boys, behave,” Ben tells them sternly, holding onto Nebbia's hand a little tighter as he pulls her towards him.

“Ah, c'mon, Ben!” Joe slurs, raising his beer bottle. “I thought you brought her here to share!”

His jaw clenches, as does his hand around hers. A little gasp escapes her, but instead of squirming away, she presses closer to his side, away from the leering men. “She's the newest member of our camp, an equal, Joe. If you wanna keep the ability to drink with that dirty mouth of yours, I'd say you shut it right now.”

Joe waves it off and scoffs, but remains silent. All of them do, actually, so he pulls her along, trying to ignore them for now. He eases the tension in his hand and takes a look at the girl next to him, ready to round the corner of the house, when Bill's voice wafts over to them.

“I wish I could take my whores back to camp, that would spare me the ride to –“

A rush of air. A loud crack. A grunt. A fist hitting the middle of his ugly face without hesitation, a deep growl rumbling from Ben's throat. He's left her standing at the corner, having witnessed the trembling of her small body at those words, and with only a few long strides he has reached the men and let his anger out. His hand is throbbing, blood (not his) running down his knuckles. The other man writhes in pain, holding his broken nose.

“What the fuck, Ben?” Bob calls out, attempting to rise from where he sits.

He takes a menacing step towards him, raising his fist. “I dare you,” he hisses through his teeth, eyes narrowed, jaw clenched, fury boiling beneath his skin.

Bob raises his hands and slumps back down. “Alright, alright,” he mumbles.

Joe just stares at him. He throws them each one more dark glare, then turns around, inhaling deeply, his fist clenched by his side. Nebbia waits for him with wide eyes, trembling lips, and as soon as he reaches her, her small hands grab his bloody fist and pull it up for her to look at.

“I'm not hurt,” he growls, but she only looks up at him, cradling his bloody hand between her fingers, her skin so soft and delicate, pale in comparison to his tan.

“I'm sorry,” she whispers, lowering her gaze, her fingertips gently caressing his throbbing knuckles.

He frees his hand from her hold and uses it to grab her chin, making her look up. Her gasp is both scared and surprised. “Do not apologize! Those bastards deserve every punching they get if they call you... if they talk about you like that,” he mutters darkly.

She swallows hard, unable to move away as she stares at him, her body shivering despite the heat around them. He watches her for a moment longer, then lets go of her chin and sighs, wiping his hand on his jeans to get rid of the blood that isn't his. Then he offers the same hand back to her, palm up. She puts her delicate hand onto it, and he closes his fingers gently around it before he pulls her further through the camp.

They reach the large supply tent where the Stacys try to bring order into the chaos of last night's haul. There are shelves stacked with ammunition, medical supplies, match boxes, candles, blankets, other useful things they snatch up whenever they head out. A makeshift wall in the far back holds additional weapons, shotguns, pistols, rifles, cleaning supplies. The two women who look alike except for the hue of their skin and the size of their noses look up, eyes hard, lips pressed together.

“Ladies,” he greets with a bow of his head. They share a look before their eyes move over the girl, up and down, almost as bad as the men have looked at her, but at least the women know when to shut up – but to be fair, both of them are missing parts of their tongues, another similarity they share, so he shouldn't be so quick to judge. If they could talk, they'd call her the same name. Whore. Unwanted. Doesn't belong here.

Ben clears his throat and nods again, always slightly intimidated by their muteness. He pulls the quiet girl along, who seems to shrink even more beside him the more he shows her of the camp and the people inhabiting it. Once they're out of earshot, he leans down to her.

“Are you okay?” he asks quietly.

She chews on her bottom lip. “They all don't want me here, huh?” she whispers.

He sighs and straightens, pushing his free hand through his messy hair. “They all started out as outsiders. Hell, we are all a bunch of outsiders, people pushed out of society, left behind, forgotten, trying to find their place. We came together like this, each of us with a stranger backstory. So once they remember that, they'll welcome you in their midst, too. You are one of us now, do you understand?” he adds and looks at her, squeezing her hand, tempted to grab her face and stroke her cheek, wipe his thumb under her watering eyes.

Her gaze is wide, green orbs shimmering in the dazzling sunlight. A tiny smile grazes her lips, before a frown settles between her brows. “But... you said you're a sort of... democratic bunch, but then you just brought me here without them knowing, without them agreeing, how is that okay?” she whispers, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

He just shakes his head, inhaling deeply. “You're special, sweetheart,” he says, and she frowns deeper. He doesn't say anything more, and she doesn't press him, just looks away, looking more confused than before, with her cheeks a little bit more red.

They continue their way through the camp, the clanging and shuffling of the Stacys organizing stuff in the supply tent echoing after them.

“Also don't take anything the twins do personally. They're... very strange women, sharing the same name, almost the same looks, the same fate. They used to be performers in a traveling circus until the ringmaster decided he had enough of their blabbering and cut their tongues out.”

Nebbia's eyes grow wider when she looks back at him, a shocked tremble rushing through her. He rubs his thumb over the back of her hand.

“We call them the Stacys, by the way,” he says nonchalantly and leads her past the line of tents, nestled against the side of the house. She follows slowly, still battling her reaction. “Those bastards by the fire were Bob, Bill and Joe. Mitch and Ginny you've already met, Milly was the lady by the creek,” he lists, trying to remember who else he should introduce her to. He also doesn't want to overwhelm her with names and people too much.

“Who was the other man at the table? The one next to Mitch?” she asks quietly, looking up at him, seemingly not as overwhelmed as he has thought.

“Mitch's right hand, Steve,” he answers quietly, his eyes wandering ahead in search of the man. Luckily he can't see him. “You should stay clear of him, though.”

“Why?” she asks innocently.

“You know, we're all people trying to start new lives here, forget the past. Well, some of us, him included, have a rather dark past... darker than any of us combined,” he tells her in a hushed voice, leaning a little closer. She holds his gaze curiously, but he can see goosebumps on her bare forearms. “He was a very disturbed fella, might still be, no matter how helpful he's been recently. Just... stay away from him, it'll be fine.” He hopes.

She stops walking, squeezing his hand. “What did he do?” she breathes.

Ben shakes his head, straightening up again. “A story for another time,” he says, his gaze stern.

She bites her lip, but nods, looking down at the ground. He starts moving again, dragging her gently after him. Curious little kitten, you know what curiosity did to you, hm? he thinks, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

They reach the large table again, and it's only Mitch, who sits in the bright sun, still smoking, flicking through a book. Ben has to admit that he owes him, his life, his will to keep going, him being here, but the older man doesn't always make it easy to be around him. His dark mustache twitches when he looks up at them with narrowed eyes.

“So,” he says, leaning back in his chair, staring at Nebbia. “Do you think you can work, girl? Make yourself useful?” he asks her, and Ben feels her flinching slightly at the deep, demanding tone of the other man.

“Yes, sir,” she replies timidly, not meeting Mitch's eyes. “I... I've worked before,” she whispers. “I... did the laundry, I cleaned, I repaired clothes and sheets, I –”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mitch cuts her off with a wave of his hand, the golden rings on his fingers gleaming in the sunlight. “Just do your part, and keep your head down. No trips into town for a while,” he adds, looking up at Ben, his gaze stern.

He suppresses a sigh. “Yes, Mitch,” he grumbles, working his jaw. Next to him, Nebbia squeezes his hand. He looks down at her.

“Does she need a room or a tent?” the older man asks after taking a drag from his cigarette.

“We'll figure it out,” Ben replies, both to him and to her as he meets her curious gaze.

“Ben?” Mitch's voice is a deep gruff grunt, hoarse around the smoke he's exhaling. He meets his eyes. It's just a look they share, but he knows what he's trying to tell him. Keep your head down. Be careful. I know who she is and who you think she is. But she is not her. Words they've shared before. Clenching his jaw, he gives a short nod, then turns away and pulls the girl after him.

Nebbia stumbles slightly, but catches herself before she follows him to the front of the house. There he stops, letting go of her hand to put his own into his pockets. She looks up at him with a frown. “So, where do you wanna start?”

She tilts her head. “Start?”

“Working. Laundry with Milly? Organizing with the Stacys? Cooking with Ginny?” he lists, watching her closely.

“What are you going to do?” she asks, meeting his gaze with a somewhat mischievous glint in her green eyes.

“Tending to the horses,” he says, looking her over with a smirk. “What? You wanna get dirty too?”

“You didn't say that was part of the chores here as well.” She sounds almost pouty.

“I thought you didn't like horses.”

“No, I'm terrified of their heights, but feeding and brushing them or cleaning their saddles doesn't require me to sit on their backs, right?” She takes a step closer to him, despite her very small stature building herself up in front of him. It's adorable. “And I like them. I find them really beautiful. Also, I... hmm, maybe I should stay clear of your people for today, until they get used to my presence...”

He's surprised by her change in demeanor. She was so timid and shy when he showed her around, introduced her to the others, a shrunken little girl too afraid to lift her eyes. But now she stares at him, challenging him, giving him cheek, and it feels refreshing. It reminds him of her.

“Oh and what did you mean by I'll make some money, but not how I think?” she asks, clearly on a roll now.

He raises an eyebrow. “All in due time,” he sighs and turns away, taking a step towards the meadow. She turns too. “You're motivated, huh? I like that, but don't overdo it.” He can see her frown as he looks over his shoulder at her. “Well, come on then, we got a lot of horses to brush!”

Her face lights up immediately as she staggers to follow him, taking quick small steps to catch up to him, a happy smile grazing her full lips. Lips around – He groans, pushing a hand through his hair, then over his eyes as they walk together. His head is spinning, be it from the hangover, the post-heist-high, or from meeting this little gem of a girl.

He's promised her a better life, and he's glad she's away from the brothel, but what if all of that will come around to bite him in the ass? Mitch seems to see where this will go, his words of warning still echoing in his mind. Ginny's also had the same idea. Be good to her. And he wonders who she should stay clear of the most? The three leering degenerates? Steve? Or himself?

Last night he's told himself he wouldn't soil her, keep her innocence, make her feel safe. Treat her like a proper lady. But every time he looks at her flushed cheeks, at those ocean-green eyes, her beautiful lips, he remembers the rest of her, the alabaster skin, the slender body, lean limbs, small breasts, the hint of hair between her legs. The trust she is giving him.

He knows he doesn't deserve it. Because all he wants is to grab her, rip her clothes off and look at her again, bring his lips to hers, to her neck, to her breasts, down her stomach, force her legs open and taste her, feel her, soil her.

She's Keira's kid.

She looks like Keira. Is that why he feels so attracted to her? Despite her age? Despite it all? Is that enough to justify the throbbing of his cock? Or is he just as fucked-up as he's always feared to be?

He has no idea. But what he does know is that he will protect this girl, keep his promises, allow her to have a better life. And maybe, somehow, she feels grateful enough to allow him something else in return. Who knows.

Chapter 2 -- Chapter 4

End notes: A little bit more world building and somewhat vague character introductions, but don't worry, there'll be a lot more plot in the next chapter. A lot more! Get ready!

(Also I apologize for my incredibly creative naming skills... Bob, Bill and Joe, and Steve, yup, and Mitch really has nothing to do with RDR2's Dutch, nope, not at all... at least it wasn't intentional, my mind works in strange ways. But don't worry, these characters don't play that big a role anyway, it's about Ben and Nebbia, remember?)

Picture credits to their respective owners. I don't own anything. I gathered these from all around the Internet. If you see your picture and would like to have it removed, please tell me!

Thank you for reading!

Next chapter on Tuesday!

AO3 -- MASTERLIST -- INSPIRATION POSTS

[altarmind]

I work the kind of low-level corporate job that allows me to listen to music for most of my day, and on difficult days, sometimes I think about my headphones getting hijacked.

I imagine that my playlist just cuts out without warning and instead there's a low bell ringing in my ears, its echo washing gently through my skull. I can't even register alarm. My brain stalls in its tracks in the middle of my task, but that's fine, as the applications on my computer all begin to close of their own accord. I watch the windows disappear with detached interest. The bell rings again, its reverberation a warm, comforting presence. The empty screen glows at me, and the clutter on my desktop doesn't matter, because the background colors seem fascinatingly saturated. The bell keeps ringing every fifteen seconds or so, not that I'm really keeping precise track.

If my coworkers, or anyone generally, is trying to reach me, I am unavailable on a fundamental level. The more the bell rings, the looser I feel in my body, the warmer I feel. It's not stifling, but the air does seem thicker, the atmosphere almost swaddling. I think, slowly and unbidden, of touching myself in the middle of the night, safe under blankets, hard from a half-remembered dream.

This feels like a dream. I should touch myself. The bell rings at the end of this thought, punctuating it. Affirming it. Yes, that's what the bell wants for me.

Distantly I realize that I can't seem to tear my eyes away from the screen, not even to check my peripherals. It's like the colors of the display pulse every time the bell rings, and they settle into subtle, shimmering ripples in the aftermath. I shiver, too, my cock beginning to fully harden. I can't remember where I am and I can't look around. Did I work from home today, or am I in public? If anyone sees—

But I'm so warm. The bell rings yet again. I must touch myself. The bell is all that matters, and the bell says I should rub my cock, should sink down a little in my chair to get comfortable, should give over and enjoy myself.

My hand finds my cock flush with wetness, and I moan with the bell tone. My eyelids flutter closed. The bell is ringing more frequently now. I can't really tell how loud I'm being. But that doesn't matter.

The pleasure is everything. My body hums with it—I begin to feel like a struck bell. When I come, it crashes over me so thoroughly that I almost slide out of my chair.

But the bell keeps ringing, even in the moments after. I can hear it over my own heartbeat. I can barely register my own shaky breathing.

It must not be done with me, since it's still ringing.

That is fine. Of course, I'll go until the bell stops. If I begin to squirm from overstimulation, well, the bell ringing will take the edge off. If my wrist and fingers begin to ache, I'll hardly notice. If anyone finds me like this, I'll be blind and deaf to their disgust.

I'm wrapped up in the bell, and the bell is in my skull and trickling into my body, and I don't remember my name, and I'm coming again, and again, and again, and—