#so many crashes and bad fatigue days

[homosociallyyours]

My birthday is coming up on Monday--

normally I'm pretty excited but this year I'm very down. I miss my family, who I haven't been able to visit since spring of 2019 due to covid and my health, and things are just hard.

I've shared my Amazon wish list the past couple of years, and getting little prezzies (even very practical things like food staples) is a definite mood booster.

That said:

If you wanna look at my wish list it's here! Feel free to send me something not through Amazon-- if we're friends just message me and I'll probably be happy to send my address. I'll take cards/mail that way too :)

I'm also hoping to be able to afford a takeaway meal on my birthday, so if you can send me a little money to do that I'll always be grateful.

My venmo is Megan-Beene and my PayPal is homosocial.

Also with the state of the world as it is, if you'd rather send $ to fund e-sims to gaza or help a Palestinian family, that would also make me happy. Here's a link to verified gofundmes.

Many of you have helped me out in the past and I always appreciate it so much. Sharing/reblogging this is appreciated, as are birthday messages on Monday (or before or after)

[spacebarbarianweird]

Asking specifically for chronically ill/chronically fatigued Tav?

I have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue and amongst many other symptoms like low energy and crashes, I'm really sensitive to sunlight and loud stimuli.

I think it'd be cute if when the tadpole was removed, all her symptoms came flooding back, and on a mutual decision, they decided to move to the Underdark with the freed spawns and it's so much better low sensory for Tav! 😍😍😍

Love your work, take your time!

Hi! This HCs has been in my drafts for ages (I started to write it a few times but never finised). Thanks for @warmteaslibrary for insights!

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Chronically ill!Tav

Your adventure has not been easy, but quite bearable.

Until the very end.

The wave of necrotic damage murders you on the spot and you remember nothing but blissful darkness.

You are revived - the Jergal's last blessing before he leaves the Prime for good.

You wake up cradled in Astarion's arms as he cries and whispers the words of love.

But you can feel nothing but pain.

Your body remembers being killed.

It remembers the skull being broken, the limbs being torn, and the skin being burnt.

The tadpole is gone but your mind has a new master.

Pain.

Physically, you are healthy but you are constantly exhausted and depressed.

Your brain barely functions, and your memory worsens.

You constantly cry, even though you try your best not to.

You expect Astarion to leave - you are no longer the person you once were. You are a wreck, almost disabled.

You can't even walk on your own sometimes let alone helping him with his sun-sensitivity.

But Astarion doesn't go.

Together you settle down in the outskirts of Baldur's Gate, somewhere Astarion's condition won't get too much attention.

When it's so bad you can't move Astarion touches you gently and assures you he isn't going anywhere, and he will always be here with you.

Astarion never says it's all right and it's going to be better.

He knows your condition is hardly improving.

Astarion helps you to find things you can enjoy, and that won't require too much physical activity.

With the return of vampiric powers, he carries you in his arms when you can't walk anymore.

The thing that brings you pleasure is bathing.

Warm water takes your pain away. Astarion washes your skin, and massages your sore limbs.

You often spend time in the bathtub together - Astarion wraps his hands around you and reads you aloud.

Actually, you've never been a bookish person - you were a fighter, a traveler...

But no more.

Reading brings you a lot of comfort. It doesn't require any physical activity, and books take you places, making you forget the pain.

Especially when Astarion goes away - hunting or working with supernatural contracts (so many stupid people, so many dangerous deals, so much money a former magistrate can make).

What surprises you sometimes as sharp as his tongue is he never makes fun of your state and never complains.

He also brings home healers from time to time but their spells have a temporary effect.

During long sunny days when you are both locked inside, you sometimes wonder if it ever gets better. Will the pain ever go away?

Astarion shrugs.

"I once asked the same about my inability to walk in the sunlight. What did you tell me?"

"That I would stay with you regardless?"

"Yes. That's my answer. I am not going anywhere."

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe 

[mooshywrites]

Is it possible to ask for a Shadowheart x fem durge tiefling please 🙏 I just want a fluffy little fic with gods favourite princess 😔

Dark Heart

Fem!Reader x Shadowheart

Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

A/N - gods favorite princess coming right up :,)

Word count - 1.4K

Warnings - Angstish, major spoilers for durge route, spoilers for Act three

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

“You may not know who you are now, but I do. And the ‘you’ that I know is the you that I love.”

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

The cool night wind did wonders for clearing your mind. It was late, late enough that most of your companions were asleep in their tents, closed off from the outside world.

But not you. No, sleep wouldn’t come for you even if you begged the heavens above. It was frustrating to say the least, needing sleep for the battle ahead but not being able to get it due to what exactly that battle meant. It had been only a couple of days since you had discovered your Bhaalspawn origin. Two days since it felt like your world came crashing down.

You couldn’t decide whether knowing or not knowing what you were was better. You knew there was something dark about your past. Something suffocatingly evil. But, you never would have guessed you were the whole reason behind The Absolute. The reason so many people had died and the reason your companions were now suffering for it.

You weren’t sure how to bring it up to your friends, worried that would be the last conversation you ever had.

Not to mention Shadowheart. Sweet Shadowheart.

Would she still look at you the way she did before? Small smiles and gentle kisses? Would she still stay up late into the night with you, drinking wine and sharing soft whispers? Would she still murmur those three words to you when no one was around to hear?

You weren’t sure. Even further, you weren’t sure you were ready to find out. The thought of giving up her presence was too much to bear. How would you continue on without her laughs, her embraces, her presence. Just without… her.

As if called by your own thoughts, you heard quiet footsteps approaching you. You didn’t have to turn to see who it was, Shadowheart being the only one who could walk so quietly and the only one who would be looking for you so late into the evening.

“Bad dreams?” A light voice prodded, the dark haired half-elf sitting on the ground next to you.

You couldn’t meet her eyes, your fatigue making it all the more difficult to hide your emotions. “You have to sleep to have bad dreams.” You joked, trying to crack a smile.

Leaves crunched beneath Shadowheart as she shifted, leaning against your shoulder slightly. She felt warm against you, comfort seeping through to your bones at even the slightest touch.

“Not sleeping isn’t ideal, we need you strong to take back Baldur’s Gate.” She teased back.

There was a moment of silence and you could feel her eyes on you. You didn’t have to look to know how much concern was probably in her gaze. “I’m worried about you.” She whispered.

You lifted your gaze to the woman, finally meeting her emerald green eyes. Your voice was shaky when you responded, holding much more truth than your words, “I’m fine, my love. Truly.”

Her eyes filled with pity, obviously not believing what you had said. She leaned in close, pressing a gentle kiss against your lips. Your shoulders relaxed as you returned the kiss, inhaling her scent of roses and wine. When you pulled back, the loss tugged at your heart painfully.

“I do not wish for you to see me at my worst.” You offered, wishing to spare her from what you were. What you !really were.

Shadowheart only smiled that sly gentle smile you loved, reaching up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. Her fingertips lingered for a moment before they trailed down to your chin, sending a shiver down your back.

“You’ve seen me at my worst.” She said, giving you a small laugh. “I think it’s high time you returned the favor.”

You bit your lip, weighing your options. Shadowheart would know if you were lying, ever perceptive of even your half truths. “What would you do if who I was before you met me, before I lost my memories… was bad?”

Shadowheart blinked for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. “You’ve already told me about your more violent inclinations. But you’re fighting against them, yes? That’s all that matters to me. Why? Did you remember something about your past?”

You turned your head away, anxiety welling up in your chest. The words were right on the tip of your tongue, a flood of emotion just waiting for the one crack to split the dam. But you couldn’t. Your mouth felt dry, your hands clammy. As if an invisible force was keeping you from telling her the truth.

“You know you don’t have to be afraid to tell me.” Shadowheart assured, stroking your cheek with her thumb. “I don’t know much about my past either. Even after turning from Shar, I still worry there’s some part of me I’ll never get back.”

“But you know you were a good person at some point.” You responded. “Better than I ever could have been.” You leaned into her hand, hoping she would’ve press the subject further.

“How bad could you have possibly be-“ Shadowheart started, quickly cut off by your harsh tone.

“Bad, Shadowheart. Evil. Evil enough to be the reason all of this is happening.” You spit, leaning away from her hand and looking back at the ground. You hated to be so harsh, but part of you hoped that snapping at her would make the conversation go away. The desperate part of you hoped that her hurt feelings would be easier than her hatred if she knew. Knew what you really were.

Shadowheart brought back her hand to rest on her lap, her mouth pressing into a thin line. It was silent for a moment, the only sound being leaves rustled in the night breeze.

“What do you mean?” Shadowheart asked quietly.

You felt tears sting at the corner of your eyes, emotion and turmoil swirling in your chest like a monstrous storm. Some sick part of your mind chided you for being weak. Assured you that you should be !proud of who you once were. You stamped those thoughts down, trying your best to keep the tears from running down your cheeks.

“I’m a Bhaalspawn.” You choked out, “Orin didn’t come up with the plan for The Absolute with Gortash, I did. She just usurped me. I haven’t slept since I found out.” You paused, looking down in shame. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

You sat in silence waiting for Shadowheart to react, harsh words lashing out at you, pure silence as she stood up and left you forever, even a slap would be better than the absence of anything that she was giving you.

You flinched as you saw her hand out of the corner of your eye, sure she was going to take out her anger, but instead, a gentle touch tilted your head back to Shadowheart.

Her eyes had no anger in them, no downwards pity or distrust. They only held affection. Silent words passing between the two of you as she cupped your face. Tears fell freely now, running in streams down your cheeks. You stifled a sob, worried that once you started, you’d never stop.

“I don’t know who I am anymore.” You whispered, voice wet with emotion.

Shadow heart wiped a tear away with her thumb, reaching with her other hand to pull you into a tight embrace. She held you close, tucking your head against the crook of your neck and wrapping her arm around your waste. She stayed like for a moment, silent, petting your hair as your tears flowed.

Her voice was soft and warm when you spoke, whispering into your ear. “None of that matters to me. You may not know who you are now, but I do. And the ‘you’ that I know is the you that I love.”

Her words cracked the wall, bringing forth everything you had been feeling in the past days. Sobs wracked your body, exhaustion etching through your bones. Shadowheart clutched you tightly, humming a calming lullaby softly. Your eyes fluttered shut, relishing in the warmth and comfort of her arms.

You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until you woke up the next morning, the sunrise peaking above the skyline. You started to sit up before you realized you were still locked in Shadowheart embrace, the half elf fast asleep as she held you.

Her words from the night before played over in your head. They made you feel lighter, more free. Like you had a choice in what your destiny would be henceforth. Even if people considered you a monster, you would push through it, knowing you had Shadowheart’s undying trust.

You brushed Shadowheart’s fringe to the side, allowing yourself the small moment to appreciate her beauty as nature awoke around you. As you placed a gentle kiss against her forehead, you realized you were feeling something you’d never in your life experienced before.

True peace.

[hxney-lemcn]

Worth It — Alex [Adult World] x gn! reader

summary: reader is sick, so they have to call out. Only for Alex to surprise them and becomes their personal nurse for the day.

tw: mentions of insecurity, a bit of self neglect

a/n: I love his character so much. He's such a sweetheart and I needed to write some tooth rotting fluff. Also, I normally don't care for sick fics, I don't typically get sick so it's hard for me to relate to them, but this just hit me out of nowhere.

wc: 2k

Master List

The moment I woke up I realized there was no way in hell that I was going to work. My head held a dull throb and my body was aching even though I hadn’t moved a muscle. My throat was sore and I couldn’t stop sniffling. I blindly reached over to my night stand. Shuffling some random things I swore I was gonna put away but never got to, I finally found my phone. I let out a small groan as the light blinded me, making my head pound a little harder. 

I sleepily messed with my phone, barely registering what appeared on the screen. Before I could debate whether to text or call, my body already seemed to press the call button for my manager. I sleepily closed my eyes as the dial tone sounded through my ears. I willed myself not to fall asleep, blinking my eyes open. 

“Hello?” The soft tone of Alex’s voice greeted me. 

“Hey,” I rasped. Damn I sounded bad. I coughed, trying to clear my throat a bit.

“Are you okay?” He asked. I can practically see the concerned expression he held on his side of the phone.

“Mhm,” I murmured, fluttering my eyes like that would suddenly wake me up. “Well…I guess not. I’m not feeling too good, don’t think I’ll make it to my shift. Sorry.”

“No worries,” Alex replied. “Shit happens.”

“There aren’t many workers though,” I mumbled, fatigue taking over. “I don’t want you having a double shift.”

His soft laugh sounded through the phone, “Don’t worry, you were paired up with Amy. I’m sure she’ll understand. Not like a lot happens there anyways.”

Halfway between sleep and being awake, I managed a hum. It was silent for a minute, and I felt myself slipping deeper into the dark abyss of sleep, only to be violently pulled out of it by Alex’s voice once more.

“You…you got anyone to help you?” He asked. Even with my sick, fuzzy addled mind, I couldn’t help but melt at how much he seemed to care for me. Yet my fuzzy mind seemed to forget how Alex and Amy totally had the hots for each other.

“I’ll be fine,” I hummed. “Jus’ sleep it off like I normally do.”

“...okay,” He replied quietly, I almost missed it if it weren’t for the fact my head throbbed the longer the call went. “Get well soon.”

“You too,” I replied, confused at why Alex chuckled. A few beats too late, I realized my mistake, “I meant thanks.”

“See ya,” He chuckled lightly before the call hung up. I tried to put my phone back on the nightstand…only to hear it go crashing down to the ground. Without an ounce of care, I shuffled into a more comfortable position closing my eyes, finally falling into an okay sleep.

Having woken up a few hours later, I mindlessly scrolled through my social media. It was hard for me to concentrate on anything. My head felt only slightly better, the throbbing has dulled into an ache. I had only gotten up to go to the bathroom, the thought of making something to eat was too big to conquer in my current state. 

The sound of knocking at my door startled me, causing my body to tense, which in turn caused my body to ache. I let out a sigh, unsure who could possibly be visiting me right now. Then my phone buzzed, Alex’s cute smiling face popping up as his contact photo. 

I blinked a few times before answering, “Hello?”

“Hey!” Alex replied, sounding far too chipper for the day you’re having. “I thought I’d stop by to check up on you. Mind letting me in?”

Even though I wasn’t as tired as I was earlier, it still took me a second to comprehend what he said, “Oh, yeah, sorry.”

Hanging up quickly, I stumbled out of my bed, only to pause because the world started to spin around me. Whether it was the lack of food, low iron, or sickness, I wouldn’t know. Perhaps a combination of the three. After I knew I wouldn’t fall or pass out, I rushed to the front door. Alex smiled at me from the other side, his curly hair slightly ruffled, lifting a plastic bag up.

“Come on in,” I mumbled, holding the door open for him. After he entered, he placed the bag on my living room coffee table as I closed the door behind him. “What’cha got there?” I asked as I took a seat on the couch next to Alex. He made himself at home, but we’d hung out quite a bit outside of work.

“I got some cold medicine, cough drops, y’know, the works,” Alex shrugged. “Wasn’t sure what you had. I also got some candy.”

“Oh, Alex,” I crooned, softening at the information. “You really didn’t have to.” 

At that exact moment, like the world wanted to laugh at me, my stomach grumbled. I pressed a hand on it, glaring as it wouldn’t stop. 

“Did you eat anything?” Alex asked, his smile stayed, but the look in his eyes turned to one of concern.

I paused, hesitating to admit it, “Nooooo?” He gave me a disapproving stare and I rambled my excuses, “I was too tired, and okay…yeah and lazy. But I’m so sore, it hurts to exist.”

“You should’ve told me,” Alex replied with a small pout. Damn he was too cute for his own good. “I would’ve picked something up for you to eat.”

I rolled my eyes, leaning my head to rest on the couch, “I’m not gonna make you waste your money on me.”

“It’s not a waste,” Alex fought back, nudging me lightly. Even so it caused my body to flare up with an ache, a small ‘ow’ escaping me. “Sorry,” He winced. “But you gotta eat to get better. And knowing that you're better would never be a waste.” 

I felt warm, warmer than this current sickness was making me. Alex patted my knee on his way up off the couch. I watched as he made his way to my kitchen. I knew that he wouldn’t find much. I’ve been procrastinating on my much needed grocery run, and now it seems to be biting me in my ass. 

Fatigue creeped up on me once more, and I decided to lay down on the couch. I turned the tv on, switching it to something to try and keep me entertained. My eyelids felt so heavy, but my hunger started to overpower it. I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of pans in my kitchen, Alex must’ve found something to make. 

I wasn’t sure how many minutes passed until Alex made his way back into the living room. He placed a steaming hot bowl on the coffee table in front of me, and then started rustling through the bag. 

“Once you get that food in your system I’ll give you a dose of this dayquil,” Alex motioned to the bottle he held. 

I let out a long whine, “Do I have to?” 

He raised his eyebrow and I sighed. Grabbing the bowl, I looked down in surprise, “Chicken noodle soup? I didn’t realize I had any.”

“Lucky find,” Alex smiled, plopping down into the loveseat next to the couch.

“When’s your shift?” I asked before starting to eat the soup. Must I say, it was doing a number on my throat. I took a second to just drink the broth, reveling in the comfort my throat felt. 

“I’m supposed to close,” Alex sighed, kicking his feet up. I let out a sound of disapproval. “I might just tell Amy to close early though.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Why?”

Alex blinked at me, giving me a look like I should already know, “To make sure you don’t rot here.”

“I’m not a kid,” I grumbled, plopping the bowl back on the coffee table.

Alex just shrugged, that boyish grin tugging on his lips, “You just ate for the first time today and it's noon.”

“That's called bad self care,” I pointed at him. 

“Exactly,” He nodded, soft curls bouncing with the motion. “Which means I’ll be here to take care of you.”

I opened my mouth, trying to think of a rebuttal, but the thought of Alex taking care of me somewhat short circuited my brain. No ones ever really taken care of me like that. Especially not since I moved out of my parents place. But even when I was an older teen, my mom just kinda expected me to care for myself. Told me where to find the medicine and left it at that. So for him to be so willing to take care of me, and admit to it so casually, it really threw me for a loop. 

“But close is when it gets busy,” I muttered back feebly as Alex poured me some dayquil. 

He looked at me with amused eyes handing the cup over, “I think you’re a bit more important.” 

I felt butterflies flow through my stomach, and I started to drink the vile liquid. Alex seemed to falter, losing a bit of confidence, “I mean…if you don’t want me to I can head out.”

I scrunched my face as I finally finished the dayquil and shook my head. I sat up fully on the couch, looking off to the side, “I just don’t want to waste your time.”

I missed the way Alex frowned, eyebrows furrowing. I didn’t realize he sat next to me until the couch dipped, and we sat thigh to thigh. I looked over to him, unsure if I may have gone too far with my self depreciation. I know it can be a drain on people, but most of the time I don’t even realize I do it.

“Hey, look at me,” Alex murmured. My throat tightened and I turned away, coughing into my elbow. 

“I’m gonna get you sick,” I commented, scooching away slightly. Only for Alex to close the gap again.

“I don’t care,” He dismissed. “You’re important to me. Nothing I do for you would be a waste because it’s for you.”

My heart felt like it was going into overdrive. My eyes danced over his face, meeting his dark brown eyes which held such a sincere burning passion it was like I could feel gentle flames lick at my skin. Looking down, my eyes landed on the small freckle on the end of his nose which I always found incredibly cute. Finally ending at his pink lips. I felt myself flush as I realized I was staring at his lips for a little too long before rushing to meet his eyes once more.

“You keep saying stuff like that and I might just fall for you,” I muttered, my brain feeling fuzzy once more. A mix of love sickness and regular sickness. 

Alex hummed, a bashful smile forming on his face, “I’m just sayin’ the truth. But if that's the outcome I won’t complain.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore just how close we were to each other, “You’re gonna get my hopes up that I have a chance.” I said it before I could stop myself. I’ve never been so forward before. Stupid sickness, it was making it hard for me to think, to keep a filter. Stuff I typically keep to myself spilling out through insecure words. 

“With you on my mind 24/7, I think you’ve got the biggest chance,” Alex replied boldly, causing my neck to snap to him. I stared at him in shock, mouth slightly open, unsure how to reply. “N-not in a creepy way though.”

“I-is this a confession?” I asked, letting out a small cough. 

“...only if it doesn’t ruin things between us,” He replied hesitantly, his vulnerability clearly shown. 

I smiled bashfully, not believing that this was actually happening. I looked down at my hands as I fidgeted with them, “Well, it just so happens that I think about you 24/7 too. Not in a weird way.”

Alex let out a soft laugh, our eyes meeting in joy. Reaching over, he grabbed one of my hands with his, and I couldn’t help but notice how his hand seemed to engulf mine. Suddenly, he kissed my cheek.

“You’re seriously gonna get yourself sick,” I grumbled, trying to mask how much he really affected me. 

“You’re worth it.”

[themathomhouse]

I need people to stop acting like me getting a wheelchair would be a bad thing.

I have chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, suspected hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, and a smattering of other illnesses which combine to leave me constantly exhausted and in pain. I'm often housebound, and on my worst days I'm bed-bound.

I've had some adaptations to my house to help me with standing up for more than a couple of minutes, and I'm being assessed to get a carer. People have fully understood without me explaining how these things would really help me and improve my life.

I've also been pushing to be seen by the NHS wheelchair team. Standing and walking is just exhausting, and it's often the reason I can't go to different places. Getting around the supermarket would be so much less of an energy drain if I didn't have to walk. I'd be able to do more than one or two things in a day without risking an energy crash, or making my pain worse, or my joints collapsing and me falling over.

A wheelchair means freedom. I love my house and my cat, but being able to go out more often would be incredible. I'm sure it would do wonders for my mental health.

But so many people react with sadness when I say I'm waiting for assessment to get one. I hired one from the red cross once, and when I returned it the staff said getting "trapped" in one would be "sad", especially given how young I am. People have said things like, "oh I'm so sorry you have to do that", or "that must be so hard."

Part of the reason I struggled to get referred to the wheelchair team in the first place was because doctors would say, "oh you're so young", or "let's only look at that as a last resort."

Mobility aids do not represent giving up. Quite the opposite. As things stand right now, I can only do shorter trips and I can't walk far. Can't stand in queues or to look at things. I love museums and stately homes and aquariums and zoos and parks and gardens and shopping and concerts, but I can't get round them to see them.

A wheelchair isn't a trap. Ableism is a trap. A wheelchair could let me fly.

[trans-axolotl]

i am so so so fucking happy right now. came back to my house today and saw packages and they were my shower chair that i got for christmas and the wheelchair my friend sent me!!!!! i actually have a wheelchair rn!!! like! omg omg omg. i've just been setting it up and rolling around the house and it's like holy shit. there are so many more things i could do now that i've either had to stop doing or have been doing in a way that wrecked my body. and past month has shown me that i need more support than a cane. like. the thought of maybe not having to crash in bed for three days after protesting. being able to cook some meals on bad days instead of only having energy for meal replacement shakes. being able to go out without worrying about how many seizures i'm going to have and if im going to fall and hit my head or if i'm going to have a seizure in a risky situation in front of the cops. even just the thought of being a tiny bit less fatigued is making me so fucking happy. AND HAVING A SHOWER CHAIR!!!! NO MORE HAVING TO SHOWER SITTING ON THE FLOOR! had a seizure on the bathroom floor this week and just. it's such a huge relief to have this i'm so so so fucking grateful right now.

[thouhathservedcunt]

my hot take on how people see professor venomous and fink’s relationship. SPOILERS IF U HAVENT WATCHED ALL THE WAY THROUGH (im actually insane)

so many people depict professor venomous as abusive and neglectful towards FINK, and that just isn’t true. to K.O.? oh 100% he’s a worthless dead beat dad, but Fink? no… that’s his baby girl

i know when people claim venomous is abusive towards fink, they mean shadowy, but neither of these statements are true. in season 3, it starts out with venomous being his normal, villainous self, and then it transitions into shadowy. in ko vs fink, which is the episode everyone seems to take out of context, venomous is quite literally losing his mind and body every single night and has no idea. every day, his body is taken from him and not only is he unaware, but he’s dealing with the fatigue and any physical ailments shadowy may have acquired while out. when he yelled (which it honestly wasn’t even much of a yell) at fink, he was clearly in a state of delirium and dealing with SOMETHING either mental or physical. it was after fink spills the beans about shadowy existing that venomous even started changing in the first place, which is exactly what shadowy said would happen if she ever told him. even as shadowy, he never once causes harm to fink, and fink never once says a bad thing towards venomous.

“but he’s so neglectful to her throughout the series” when? he takes her to a business meeting with him (his first appearance), brings her to villain parties (villain’s night out), lets her sit in at in-home meetings (boxman crashes) and MELTS at the thought of punishing her; he LOVES that baby. he does have flaw, and that’s in PUNISHING HER, which, never happens because he melts and gives her gifts instead.

yes venomous is not a good person, but he’s a VILLAIN, he was never meant to be one. if anything, he achieved what most villains seek after. boxman forgave him and he never mistreated fink. we need to redirect all of our energy on making really good venomous, carol, gar, and k.o. angst because THAT is what he did wrong.

anyway #1 venomous lover and defender for life

[wsdanon]

I'd love to hear the tragic character felps thoughts!

okay echo + anyone else reading this bear with me because i have lots to say and i'm not sure i can get it all down properly. it's worth mentioning my fic "it's not a fashion statement, it's a deathwish" is pretty much directly what i have headcanoned as felps' backstory. but for more detail and breaking things down:

firstly in canon while i think it's accurate to call felps not an active player, he was an active character in the plot. the reason he got kidnapped had a whole lead up to it \o/ one vod's worth (three videos on youtube), but still! he was heavily in character the entire time (even turning his crashing into a character moment--making his character paranoid that he was being watched)

that being said: felps doesn't log in as much. during the vod i mentioned earlier he said his gap was because he was in a mini-coma. i think he sleeps a lot! i've headcanoned him with a fatigue disorder of some kind, and the one month on ice just made it worse. i extrapolated on this idea and decided he'd have difficulty sometimes understanding what was dream and what was reality (i think i got this from narcolepsy? i haven't looked at it in a while but some of the symptoms of that was hallucinations and sleep paralysis I think).

this disconnect from reality was somewhat confirmed in his prison stream \o/ although since i can't pull up the exact quote/timestamp right now don't believe me too much

okay going under the cut now:

one of the "i like dropping that i think felps is a very tragic character" moments i mentioned was if him and pac actually got together, he'd have trouble believing it was real and not a dream. this is extremely self indulgent on the felpac side of things and i'll go back to just felps specifically but: presumably felps has been pining after pac for eight years! i think they're a mess of missed opportunities and both of them being too afraid to try and start anything, so if anything did happen it might not feel real

(the other tragedy is that nothing happens. and he stays pining forever)

back to felps specifically. in my backstory for him i have that he was killed and suddenly revived as a saint in a futuristic (for him) version of his town. this is incredibly alienating for him. he's very very lonely, and confused, and out of place and it's the building blocks for his and cellbit's friendship (as cellbit is also lonely, confused, and out of place). i've had some people mention recently that felps feels out of touch with reality in "it's not a fashion statement" and i'm glad because that was the intention!

first of all, he was dead for many years. second of all, everything is new and different. third of all, he's a saint. it's hard to process

regarding what we specifically see in canon: the "felps has a fatigue disorder" thing was a way to explain why he's away so much. but also… he's a saint. and in the prison stream he leant hard into that. there was no facecam or chat that entire stream. it felt really weird to me because he always has a facecam--or at the very least chat (he went live later on not for qsmp stuff with both). to me it felt like a way to showcase his disconnect from reality and kind of acceptance of his sainthood?

(another post before when i was talking about felps stuff i mentioned a lot of people praying to him is fucking him up a little--i think the more he gets prayed to and accepted as a saint the harder it is for him to grasp onto reality. saints aren't supposed to be alive, after all)

felps has had other occasions of disconnect from reality--he was one of the people to happily play into bad's denial when the eggs were missing. because one of felps' coping mechanisms is actually denial \o/ he doesn't go as full into it as bad, but you see him in other scenarios leaning onto denial. (after the one month on ice + in the prison stream learning how long he was gone for you can see him insisting he was only gone for a day or a few days and getting shocked/upset by the idea he was gone for a month/multiple months)

with felps logging on less, and having enough pieces in canon to explain away why (either he gets lost in his square, or he falls asleep) i think you can do a lot with the idea that sainthood is kind of claiming him and so he's not able to be present in reality anymore. which kind of freaks him out a bit. i said he was lonely in my backstory, and this kind of amplifies that. everyone's been through so much without him. he can't stop falling asleep and not waking up

anyway my final note of rambled felps characterisation is that he's also quite a paranoid character but he's not as loud about it as cellbit is. this is very messy but it's hard to get all my thoughts down about this. hope you enjoyed \o/

[hueningshaped]

★ through the dark | c.yj

▰ genre: comfort, fluff, tinge of angst

▰ word count: 3.2k

▰ synopsis / request: you have many fears and worries for the future but best friend yeonjun is there to help + platonic friendship where yj may or may not love you as more but he still he loves you nonetheless

warnings: lots of self-deprecation, lots of fears and insecurities shared, use of baby + love + angel from yj, thunderstorms (yn is always crying in every single one of my stories haha whoops)

a/n: HI <3 ANON 🥺 you deserve the entire universe and MORE! ur so kind and sweet and i hope ur hard work will be recognized ^^ also my yns are always crybabies so i’m deeply apologetic about that and also i typed this all lowercase not sure why but that’s the style for this

most people enjoy rainy days. they find comfort in the way it falls on earth and evaporates, even in the way the smell lingers long afterwards. some even fall soundly asleep to thunder and the flickering of lightning. you could say the same, but not today.

the sun and its vitamin d could have made your mood significantly better, but you realize it still wouldn’t have fixed whatever else you were feeling. you couldn’t even bring it to words, which is why you’d stayed silent the entire day, or rather since you last spent time with yeonjun, who was one of your, if not your closest, friend.

an indecipherable feeling, or rather, feelings, has been weighing tons on your shoulder these days without the distraction of your dear friend. but, today it has been wrapping itself around your clarity like a boa constrictor. it is bad enough that as days roll by, the monotonous routine of every day is fulfilled endlessly, even if this is your path to forming the career that you were to eventually take. just the thought of your career, of the future, makes your heart quake in your chest and your blood pound in your ears, like it’ll just give out one day against your tense yet fatigued body.

it seems like everyday has become more and more disheartening to live and wake in. you cannot even bear admitting it, even though you live in your head with all these raging thoughts. this is also why you can’t bear to bring it up and tarnish the days you were distracted, the ones where you are temporarily uplifted by your best friend, yeonjun. days with him by your side, with your mind and body occupied by joy, ward off enough of the overwhelming feelings you have.

today, however, is unexpected. days like today where you’re barely making it by with the weight of everything, literally everything, crushing you are ones where it is ensured that you’re but a star that is to crash and burn.

without so much as looking at your phone, as you do your best to peddle to your home, trembling and growing weaker with every step. artificial adrenaline runs through your veins and has your chest heaving in breaths that run faster little by little. the dismal weather of a murky, thundering rain shower surprisingly makes you feel worse, even if you enjoy the rain.

work was okay, you try to calm yourself down with a rundown in your thoughts. it was okay, it was okay, everything is fine, and you can keep going.

your school advisor had emailed you a rundown of which classes you still need and also asked what exactly you still wanted. this conversation took endless little paths of questions you couldn’t answer. but, every time you blink, you only see your shaking hands each time you’re put in a position where you’re asked about what you want to do with life, and it’s reality when you open your eyes. it is a nightmare. why is the world impatient and demanding and why is it so difficult for you to measure up?

despite the daily test of endurance that it is when you go home, walk the walk, you find it all the more challenging when you finally push through your door after unlocking it, your movements are clumsy and curt, you expect nothing more than silence for you to fill with whatever is unfurling in your chest.

the television is blaring and much of your lights are on. you catch that beautiful speck of a birthmark passing through as yeonjun makes his way towards you.

you see him before you hear him. his bright figure and warm smile saunters his way over to you as your shoulder drops your bag. he’s dressed for a nice day out regardless of the gloomy weather, and his piercings ring sweetly in the air just like that dazzling smile on his thick lips. that’s your best friend, alright. and of course, he managed to get into your place before you did. this wasn’t new to you, and as much as his presence is comforting, you’re convinced that this is the last thing he needs, or either of you need.

“hey, silly! how come you didn’t answer my texts! i told you to bring my favorite ramen from the store on your way and a little something extra for the marathon tonight! almost thought you bailed on me. imagine the heartbreak i would have felt, huh!”

he sulks a little. while you toe your shoes off with your back to him, you rub your eyes hastily with the backs of your palm, anything to dissipate the watery film threatening to overflow.

“as if i’d bail you at my own house,” your voice is hoarse, shaky, but you refract your tone enough that he doesn’t suspect (enough). “and what-uh what marathon are you talking about?”

“well, since the new season to stranger things came out, we said we were going to rewatch the whole thing, remember?” he follows closely behind you while slurring his words together the way he always does. you do your best to get him off your back as he tries to jog your memory no matter where you go until you stop.

the tension in your body is binding your emotions further and it only fuels the hurt from today and every other day. this is the last thing you need: trying to get space in your own home. it feels like a joke; you feel like a joke. the muscles in your face wobble from how weak they feel.

“come on, now beautiful,” your mouth draws further into a frown as he moves around from behind you. “let me get a look at those eyes i’ve been waiting to look into all week— oh… oh, y/n,” his voice drops now that his eyes catch your face, intaking all that he can see, as you try to hide from him, feeling so dramatic but so overwhelmed.

“hey,” his tone lowers, clicking his tongue already worried. you wince at being so vulnerable and having to show your weaknesses, which, you felt were already so exposed. sometimes the contrast between you and him makes you wonder why yeonjun stays by your side, why he sticks to you, cares for you, even if you are worlds apart in having it together. how he has the patience for you, or how he–

you bite down the cry building up in your throat, keeping your head down and trying to walk past him, but he knows better. “what’s wrong? are you alright?”

“what,” you gulp between breaths struggling to maintain a decent facade, but it’s all pointless. not when yeonjun knows you like the back of his hand, understands the cues of your emotions, and holds as much sympathy in his heart as the earth holds water. his instinct, especially when it comes to his loved ones, will always be to look out for them. your voice breaks when you try with an incredulous, “i’m fine! i swear!”

you bypass his attempt to keep you put when you speed to your bedroom, collapsing into your bed.

yeonjun blinks a few times in shock before chasing after you, guilt seeping into his mind as he knows he should give you your space but his innate concern takes manually and he finds himself joining you in your bedroom.

it’s dark, but he finds your back to him as you sit atop the covers of your unmade bed. whenever the two of you do hang out, it would be at his place or out in public; in fact, it’s been a while since he’s come over. he curses himself for not noticing and taking action.

he knocks so as not to startle you, and with each step he takes, his mind rattles an idea of how to best attempt to comfort you but he doesn’t even know what the issue is. all he knows is you’re in pain, and his heart aches. you hardly move a muscle, he notes.

yeonjun takes a seat beside you, watching you carefully with his concern showing on his face as it is his own heart on his sleeve.

his vision lapses in blurriness. he curbs the urge to just grab you by placing his palm over the backside of yours.

“i know i ruined our plans and i know i’m acting like a child–”

“hey, don’t worry about that, love, no you didn’t. that’s not even close to the truth,” he hushes. his voice in any width or measure has a rich texture that calms you. your mouth curves into a frown and you swallow hard. “come on, baby. what’s wrong?”

his heart rate picks up at the sudden anxiety he feels, internally panicking over the awkward lilt in his voice, unsure of how to best assess the situation, even unqualified to comfort his best friend who sits beside him so broken. he shuts his eyes in minor pain of the situation but then is brought back to reality when you surprisingly reply.

“i don’t even know where to start,” your voice trembles. your chest feels so tight and your body is so tense it seems that there is no end in sight, but the sensations of yeonjun’s hand moving to your back breathe color into the monochrome world of dread that is wrought by your worries. “there’s too much that’s wrong.”

“there’s never too much that’s wrong. there’s never a situation that can’t be fixed, y/n,” he tries with a hopeful tone, ducking his head to try and reach your level but your gaze is too fixed to the ground.

“no, yeonjun,” you whisper and move to look at him. “i’m scared. i’m so so scared. my god, you have no idea how scared i am.”

the tears that have been itching for release finally cave and your breaths are airy but broken.

“i’m sorry, angel. but, of what, y/n?” he gasps before cupping your face with his hand and wiping the few tears he can catch with his thumb. you lean into his touch, eyes shut. “what’s got you this scared, hm?”

he doesn’t press, letting you speak when you’re ready but he makes it known to you that he’s here for you by rubbing your knee in comforting motions.

“well, uh,” you sniffle once you’ve gathered the strength to speak. “maybe you won’t understand because you’ve…you’ve got your life together, but i just don’t think i’m gonna make it.”

his eyes sting with the prospect of your words but he bites his lip to keep going.

“what do you mean?”

“well, you know i’m not the brightest person, jun,” your tone is so bitter and cynical even if the pain is glistened in your eyes. “i don’t see myself getting far in life. i don’t have much of a future, and even someone as dumb as me can see that.”

your bottom lip wobbles but you shake your head while wiping some tears with your hand haphazardly.

“woah, woah, y/n,” he takes your face in his hands. yeonjun moves his sleeve over his thumb to dab at your tear stained cheeks. “that’s not true at all! god, i wish you knew how smart you are. to me, you’re so brilliant and passionate that sometimes i don’t know even where you find it. are you kidding me?”

you duck your head down and yeonjun sucks in a breath, feeling like he misspoke.

“don’t lie,” your tone is so untrusting that he can’t help but feel hurt but he brushes it off to return to the matter at hand.

“i’m not lying!”

you still can’t help but cry a little louder because even now as you explain, those worries and insecurities still have a hold on you that you can’t even shake it. yeonjun pouts and wraps you in his arms, holding the back of your head gently.

“i’m so overwhelmed with school and-and work, and even now that i struggle, i just don’t understand how i’d possibly get by in the future and it scares me. it’s just classes, i don’t learn anything, and how can i possibly hope to be any success when i don’t know anything?

everyone our age has their life together, like-like you, and yet i’m just—“

it becomes too difficult to finish, so yeonjun just let your cliff of a sentence transition into a drop off of little sobs. he kisses your temple and rubs up and down on your back, whispering sweet nothings.

after a while, your breaths even out and you quiet down significantly, and then, your best friend pulls away with his hands on your shoulders. his eyes are watery, but somehow he gives the most reassuring smile. so beautiful and warm.

“let me tell you something, y/n,” he whispers, wagging his head to rhythm of your name. the dimness of the room forms a shadow to adorn his ruddy face. as charming as ever. “all your fears and worries are valid and normal. i don’t even have my life together, and i get overwhelmed. hell, we all get overwhelmed, baby, but that is okay. everything will be okay. i promise you, everything will work out.”

you were still pouting and he chuckled wryly at your obvious disagreement.

“sorry if you don’t believe what i say, but take it from me! i’m just…” he sighs. “i’m right, alright? i hate seeing you upset. there’s a storm brewing behind those eyes of yours where there should be clear skies. i can’t imagine how hard things have been for you, even what you haven’t mentioned. but i think, no i know, it doesn’t help that you’re too hard on yourself. i’ve wondered for so long why you don’t give yourself the credit you deserve when you’re the smartest cookie i know. i don’t know why you call yourself dumb because that’s not true at all.” tears were free falling from your eyes and his, at this point.

“school just sucks. that can’t be helped. it’s hard for everyone i promise you. what we can do is take each a day at a time. you keep working hard. you keep learning. you keep breathing. you use the skills that you already have and make ‘em better because that’s how progress works,” yeonjun chuckles his little curt laugh and locks eyes with you, leaning in close as if you’re unable to hear even though his words are all you can hear besides your heartbeat. “you’ve always done well, y/n, and you’ve always been enough. there’s no timeline for life, baby. without a doubt, you’re going to make it especially with what you know so far. there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

the flash of lightning comes but the thunder doesn’t follow. rain has long been staining your windows and the world outside, and even though it had helped drag your mood through the mud, your head didn’t feel as turbulent as it did earlier.

“and you’re crying again, aw i’m sorry, baby!” he sulked but you shook your head and brought him in for a hug which he reciprocated very enthusiastically. the next few minutes were spent with you two hugging and sniffling. arguably, it is gross that you both sniffle a lot and have to run to get tissues to combat the snot and wetness on your faces, but you both giggle afterwards.

the night resumes with a trip to the convenience store even if it stormed nonstop.

you’re in the middle of season 1 of the show when you sit up from lying your head on his chest. he stirs at that. it’s been an hour or so since you both finished snacking and crying. before that, there had been an hour of showers since you both got soaked to the bone during the run through the rain.

you both had dozed off it seems, considering that you don’t remember this part. your cheeks are still wet. the day still weighed on you; it had weathered you and done its damage in eroding you into exhaustion.

though hooded from just waking up, his eyes find yours and that’s when his smile elongates.

“hi, angel,” his voice is raspy. he cups your cheek. you smile uneasily, something still on your mind. and just like the best friend he is, he knows.

“hey,” you reply with a murmur.

“you’ve got something on your mind, hm?”

it takes a while for you to search the words and assemble them in an appropriate way.

“i don’t know how to show the gratitude or pay you back for the things you said to me today,” you were working yourself up again. yeonjun notices and turns his body to face you properly, holding your hands in his to curl against his chest. full of warmth and brushing against your knuckles every time he would inhale. “i don’t want you to think i took your words for granted because i’m — thank you. thank you for being so nice to me like always. i feel like you do all the work in this friendship and i offer nothing. i just wonder why…”

“why what?” his breath tickles since he’s so close to you.

“what do you see in me?”

there was a lot more to your question that you let on, but perceptive yeonjun catches on always.

as for what goes on in his head, yeonjun is unsure of what exactly to say. you are his entire world. you are everything to him. he sees you in everything, and he sees everything in you. he sees his past, present, and future. sometimes he’s unsure of whether to reveal the way he mistakes what kind of love he feels.

so he settles for—

“i see my beautiful best friend with those eyes i could never resist,” his stomach flips at the touched look blossoming on your face. “in all seriousness, love, all that i said earlier — that’s all just facts. i see someone so passionate and strong, who has always been more than capable of getting far into their own future, who has the biggest heart i’ve ever known, who has no reason to be afraid, who will always measure up, who works so hard but devastatingly gets scraps from the world, but most importantly, i see someone who i love.”

your sniffles are practically snivels as you place your face in your palm. yeonjun just chuckles fondly and reaches a hand behind your to push your face into his neck.

“i’d cry, too, if someone as handsome as me—“ he jokes and giggles as you smack his wrist.

“thank you, i love you, junnie,” you mumble while looking up and wiping your face. your best friend smirks at you, colorful light from the tv making his skin glow.

“i’ll always be here for you, y/n.”

the stranger things marathon was very much long forgotten. and even if all you did was cry and the rain still poured on, much to your dismay, still, you couldn’t help but feel relief knowing yeonjun was there to reassure you to the best of his ability. even if life did drain you at times, love always remained at the end of the day, and yeonjun was proof of that.

[whump-help-desk]

What are the consequences for staying awake for 3-4 days on a high risk mission where you have to be constantly vigilant? What would recovery look like and would a medical professional (such as Aramis) know what was happening/how to treat it. Looking to rewrite a fic I wrote with an OC

Tolerance to sleep deprivation varies among different people. Some people tire easily and require more than the average 7-8 hours of sleep. Some can stay awake for 18-20 hours straight with little problem. If you are used to pulling off all nighters [*cries in current MB exams*] you might find yourself being able to resist sleep for longer hours more easily (my current record is 36 hours without sleep lol) (however it doesn't mean that you won't crash and sleep for 16-24 hours straight later lololol). Generally, resisting sleep is easier during the day with bright natural/artificial light and lots of noise and distraction around you than at night when it's dark and quite and your biological clock is shouting at you that IT'S TIME TO SLEEP GODAMMIT! (But if you work at a job that demands frequent night-shifts, your biological clock will adjust to have you alert at night and asleep during the day)

These are some of the effects of sleep deprivation based on studies (and some personal experiences)

24 hours without sleep: You feel drowsy, restless and irritable. Your eyes might be puffy and red, with dark circles under them. If you are actively engaged in some work, then you are probably fine and don't feel the effects too much.

36 hours hours without sleep: The above symptoms intensify. Sitting still or idle might have you unconsciously drifting off to sleep.

48 hours without sleep: A little nap sounds so sweet, so heavenly, you will honestly kill for it. You might start having a phenomenon called microsleeps, where you have an extremely brief nap lasting for a few seconds. Generally, microsleeps happen without the person being even aware of it.

This is also a point where you generally start having a phenomenon called sleep deprivation psychosis. It means that your perception of reality is severely distorted and you begin to hallucinate. You see, hear or feel things that are not there.

In addition to all of this, you are extremely stressed, irritable and angry. Your fatigue levels are off the charts. Your reaction time is sluggish and your ability to process what's happening around you is severely impaired. Your memory is foggy.

After 72 hours: Life is fucking awful. Your microsleeps are longer and more uncontrollable. Your sense of perception is severely impaired. Your hallucinations are worse and more frightening. In addition to hallucinations, you might also start having illusions (incorrect interpretation by the senses of object which exists) and delusions (incorrect belief about an external reality that is firmly held, despite strong evidence to the contrary). Even your sense of self is taking a hit, a phenomenon called depersonalization, where you feel robotic and detached from your own body. In addition, all of the above mentioned symptoms intensify.

After 96 hours: Basically, everything that I mentioned in the 72 hour mark but much, much worse. Your urge to sleep is overwhelming.

Recovery from sleep deprivation simply involves catching up on all the lost sleep. You might feel groggy even after waking up for a while but that will gradually wear off. Chronic sleep deprivation is bad and can affect your lifestyle but one-off sleep deprivations for long hours doesn't have a long term impact on health. The record for the longest period without sleep is 11 days and many subjects have gone through 8-10 days without sleep under controlled environments. They all recovered after a few days of recovery sleep and none of them suffered from any long term physical, psychological, mental or neurological health problems.

If it is a modern au and assuming Aramis has had some training as a medic, he will likely know of the possible effects. Hell, even some previous personal experiences of long hours without sleep will make him familiar with the effects, modern au or canon timeline. Canon Aramis was involved in a lot of battles pre-series, so it's entirely possible that he has experience in remaining sleep deprived and hypervigilant.

[As payment for this answer, I demand a link to the fic, if and when you publish it >:) ]

[george-weasleys-girl]

North Star Series

Chapter 3 - Lunch

George Weasley x fem!reader

Warnings: using magical stimulant to stay awake, mention of someone hallucinating, a couple of curse words

Summary: The second meeting, in which we learn a little about Y/N.

Start Here:

~•~

George's heart sank when Y/N wasn't in the Great Hall as he arrived for lunch. She'd been on his mind all morning. He was really looking forward to seeing her again.

As he was sitting down, Ron blurted out, "I wonder if Y/N will get detention on her first day?"

George's head snapped up. "What? Why would she get detention?"

"Apparently, she got into a.....heated discussion with Snape over wandless potion making. He made her stay after class." Hermione answered.

"Wandless potion making?" Fred asked, sitting down next to his twin.

Hermione nodded. "Ilvermorny requires students to be adept at it by their third year.

"Brilliant, I wonder--" Harry began, but Fred interrupted him. "Oi! There's our little trouble maker now."

Y/N plopped down on the open spot across from the twins.

"Hi, George," she smiled at George. That same warm glow he felt at breakfast, returned. He smiled back, unable to decide whether he was more elated that she knew he was George or that she made a point to greet him and only him.

Before George could respond, Ron bellowed at Y/N, "Did Snape give you detention?"

"Nah," Y/N shook her head. "But I don't think I'll be in the running for teacher's pet anytime soon." Everyone but Hermione chuckled and nodded knowingly. "So tell me," Y/N continued, "is Snape always an ass or did I just catch him on a bad day?"

"Always an ass," Harry replied.

"Everyday is a bad day for Snape." George added.

"Great..." Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them wide. She could really use a nice twelve hour nap.

"Is he going to let you do wandless potion making?" Ginny asked.

Y/N nodded, rubbing her eyes. "Yep. But he's not happy about it."

George chewed on his lip while he watched Y/N and Ginny. Y/N seemed different from this morning. Less lively. Her movements were slower, shoulders hunched, dark circles forming under her eyes.

"Hey, how are you doing?" he asked.

Y/N gave him a feeble smile. "Ready to fall on my face. I'm lucky if I've managed eight hours of sleep in the last two days."

"How are you going to survive the rest of the day?" Ginny's voice was heavy with concern.

Y/N didn't answer immediately, but reached into her backpack and pulled out a small velvet bag, from which she retrieved something that looked like a gumdrop. "This," she said, before tossing it into her mouth.

"A gumdrop?" Ginny slid closer, peaking into the bag.

"Bright‐Eyes Elixir." Y/N explained. "Pukwudgies invented it as a way to stave off fatigue after all-nighters. It was originally in liquid form, but we figured out how to infuse it into gumdrops in my fourth year."

"How long does it last?" George asked.

"Depends on how long the person has been without sleep. If it's just been one night, it'll last most of the day, about 7-8 hours. In my case, it lasts around 3 to 4."

George nodded, his lips spreading into a small, delighted smile as he watched Y/N go from exhausted to energetic in matter of seconds.

"So you could just take these forever and never need to sleep?" Ron asked.

Y/N chuckled. "Hardly. It temporarily supresses the effects of sleep deprivation. It doesn't eliminate the body's need for sleep. The longer you take it, the less effective it gets. Eventually, you will crash no matter how many you take."

"What's the longest anyone's stayed awake?" Fred asked, leaning over to hear her better.

"Well, we don't recommend taking them for more than three days in a row. Though a few have managed a week." Y/N took a sip of pumpkin juice. "But, there was this one guy in the 70s who went for over three weeks without sleep. Just for the hell of it. He was chugging bottle after bottle of the stuff. According to the stories, by the end, he was hallucinating that he'd seen the moon fall out of the sky and that he was being followed by a gigantic talking toad named Jeffrey."

"What happened to him?" Hermione asked.

"He crashed. Hard. He wasn't in by curfew one night, so they sent out a search party. They found him facedown in the grass with an empty bottle of elixir still in his hand. He slept for four days straight.

"And the professors allow this?" Hermione looked pale.

Y/N helped herself to a slice of apple and butterscotch pie. "Yeah. It's actually encouraged, to a degree. Most of the teachers figure it's best to let us experiment while we're still in school and have easy access to two medical wings."

"Two?" Hermione was incredulous. "Why do you need two? How frequently do these experiments go wrong?"

"Not as often as you might think. There's two because we have the main hospital wing, like here at Hogwarts. Then there's a smaller one attached to Pukwudgie House. Most of us are healers in training, after all."

Hermione stared at Y/N with a mixture of wonder and horror.

Fred leaned over to George. "We went to the wrong school, mate."

"Yeah..." George nodded, captivated by the girl with the sparkling eyes sitting across from him.

~•~

*If you'd like to be added to the taglist, let me know*

~•~

Next Chapter:

[waklman]

Tilly, do you write for Bobby?

not yet! i scrapped so many stories for him, but honestly i really might extend my fake it universe and give bob his own story there, just because i kinda love college frat boy bob

here’s something i scrapped for him tho! i don’t think i’ll ever finish it so i’ll share! (it was about lovers reuniting in the future)

-

Bob’s drawing blank—quite literally.

He’s been staring at the empty sheet of cartridge paper for what feels like hours, when it’s only been a few minutes at best. It’s another mundane Tuesday where he finds himself spending his evening with the only woman in his life—his therapist.

Try drawing what you feel, she told him. As if Bob even knows what he’s feeling, he’s paying her two hundred a week to help him figure that out—no?

If Bobby was a teenager again, sitting with a sketchbook in his lap—he would’ve brushed his digits over the fine toothed sheet just once to know exactly what he wanted there.

But this Bobby didn’t know what he wants there. This Bobby’s too busy trying to revive the dead hobby in his therapist’s office.

“Did I lose you, Robert?” Glenda asks gently, trying to get a read on him.

“No, it’s—yeah, you did,” he replies tiredly, eyes nearly shutting from fatigue. There’s no point in lying to a professional. It’s not like he has the energy to, anyway—not for today’s session at least.

There’s a beat of silence, where he’s left unanswered. Glenda’s waiting for him to look up at her—so he does.

Bob absently smiles. “You lost me,” he reestablishes—maintaining eye contact with her.

“That’s alright.”

It’s not alright actually—far from it, Bob thinks. This used to come so easy to him, it was second nature at one point in his life.

Bob says nothing, watching as she pulls opens her desk drawer, taking out something from there. Gently, she slides a colorful sheet of paper across her desk. “I have a better idea,”

Bob secures the book in his lap, leaning over to look at her “better idea”. Suddenly, he draws back in his seat as if the lifeless piece of paper was biting at him.

He swallows thickly. It's a promotion flier for a planetarium that’s having their grand opening this weekend.

“I can’t go—I’m moving into my new apartment next week,” he deflects.

“You can go the day after.”

—

Bob could recall the day he first met you as if it was yesterday.

It was drizzling outside, another April shower was starting to wash down that afternoon. Once school ended, Bob was quick to get to his car before the end of the day rush came, pulling out of his parking spot with one destination in mind—the planetarium on the far side of town.

As he drove into the guest lot—it rained down harder. And Bob didn’t hate, hate is bad for your heart, his Momma engraved that in him. But in his underwhelming teenage rebellion, Bob decided that he hated the bad weather. Whenever the sky wasn’t clear, neither was his mind.

So he hates it.

Clutching his sketchbook against his chest, Bob runs towards the main entrance, not wanting to watch his new drawings get ruined. But also not watching where he was going.

You crashed right into him, nose slamming against the leather cover of his book, triggering a nosebleed.

Bob’s flushed in embarrassment, muttering apologies over and over—as he bends down to pick up the notebook he knocked out your hands.

What happens next, sticks with Bob forever. You giggle—there’s blood is dripping down your chin, but you’re humored by his panic. To anyone else—this might’ve look horrifying, but Bob doesn’t think he’s seen a prettier sight.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[cleolinda]

Weekend links

My posts

I am mostly resting through the post-Halloween crash. I'm not sure whether Thanksgiving week will be extremely hectic here, or will actually provide time to work. It could go either way. I did manage to shake off the sore throat that was turning into an earache, though. In the meantime, I'm now crossposting Weekend Links over at Dreamwidth, and I'll be mirroring anything big there as well. (I've also done a very concise post [not sarcasm] there summarizing my adventures this past year.)

Patreon is still the "see it early" hub for all this, but I'm glad to be catching up with people on all the places I used to post, even if I have to drag myself back to Twitter periodically to throw a "SEE I WROTE" cherry bomb and run.

Reblogs of interest

I want those of you outside the US to understand that everything in this post about canned cranberry sauce ("Can-Berry") is true, and if I can remember, I'll take a picture of ours on Thursday.

A Happy Big Sandwich Night next weekend to all who celebrate

Biomarker for chronic fatigue syndrome identified

The sheer stress of autism, a post that really struck me because just a few days prior, my mom had said offhandedly to me that my life is "so stressful," and I was like, what? I'm not the one with the nutty office job full of ridiculous people? "No, but you are stressed, all the time." This was said in a very supportive way, mind you. And I found it interesting that she perceived and accepted this while I had been spending a lot of my time (for years) telling myself that I didn't "deserve" to feel so stressed about "nothing."

A similar concept: One of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

A massive list of resources for learning stuff

A Kickstarter for The Explorer’s Guide to Mysterious Cryptid Animals of the World

I don't know if Vladimir Nabokov ever had opinions on more than two (2) female writers, but he certainly had the most efficient roasts in all the land when it came to the male ones

Video

The whiniest wet beast of all: the eggseal

"remember when octhony had a hat so bad he had to fight god"

The sacred texts

None this week, unless you count the eggseal, and I do

Personal tag of the week

I'm gonna go with #cats this week

[thesawisfamily]

My full review of the MW3 campaign.

There will be major spoilers ahead

I'm gonna be going in chronological order with the missions. If you want my opinions on *that* scene, then scroll close to the bottom. This is a very lengthy review and I cover every mission.

First of all I absolutely loved all the nods to the original mw games, I noticed the most from mw2 09 since I've actually played that one, but there was some mw3 og references too.

I actually had to pause and take it all in from the first mission. The gulag looked EXACTLY like the one you save Price from in 09. That combined with the fact that Makarov had the same prisoner number as Price did: 627. I really did love the way they set up this mission, I found it a lot easier to play through than previous games. I honestly didn't expect Makarov to be the prisoner until I got to the cell, but it was a great parallel to 09.

I wasn't a fan of how they brought Graves back with no explanation. If they explained it in mw2 raids then I missed it cause I haven't played them all, but I was confused about the timeline and why Graves was even directing Farah in her chapter. This could also just be me being a massive Graves hater, cause I can't stand him. On the plus side ALEX AND FARAH TOGETHER WOOO. I love them they're so married. The open world mission was really unique and fun to play through, the objectives could've been a bit clearer, but again I was kind of ignoring Graves there, half bc i hate him half bc I was focusing on not dying. I need visual cues.

I don't have many thoughts on the Price mission except that it was good to play him first the first time since mw1. I was a bit confused as to how that mission was meant to be done stealthily? The helos were so well guarded, I had to go in loud for all of them.

The next price mission was also pretty fun and was actually pretty easy to do until it came to leaving the bunker. I must've died so many times to that damn juggernaut. I kept getting that "enemies are too close" warning that wouldn't let me finish the mission until I literally had 5 seconds left. I was FRANTIC.

LASWELL MY BELOVED. the first words out of my mouth were "omg laswell looks so good in fatigues" getting to play as her was such a treat bc I LOVE her. It took me a few tries to figure out how to go about it, but I got it. Loved the nods to the og mw3 with Yuri being the Informant. Getting out of the building with the gas chasing me was stressful, but not so bad. Nikolai saves the day. As a metalhead, hearing Nikolai listening to metal at the beginning was really nice since it's a change of pace from what media usually depicts metal listeners as.

I think it was an interesting choice to have us play as Samara in the hijacking chapter. I'm not going to talk much on this one cause it felt a little on the same lines as the mw2 09 airport scene in tasfefulness. I felt so helpless watching everything happen. It really solidifies the kind of antagonist Makarov is going to be for the rest of the campaign.

On the crash site mission it was nice to play Farah again, especially with Alex on overwatch. I was a little lost for most of this mission, but once I figured it out, it was fairly easy. The end wasn't very clear that you had to help Alex, so I failed the first time.

Omg the flashback mission. Loved it so much. Genuinely so well written. 09 refs on 09 refs. It played out so much like a direct opposite to the airport chapter in 09. Definitely didn't hit Makarov too many times cause I could. Seeing 09 Ghost there genuinely made me so happy, I know we've had 09 ghost outfit in game for a while but seeing it in campaign and updated was SO GOOD. The cutscene was another reminder of how 'Two steps ahead" Makarov is. A lot of people had the hc that Ghost and Soap met on the platform in kill or capture in mw2 but this confirmation that they've known each other for at least 4 years was really nice. Gaz was genuinely so beautiful in that cutscene too oml.

I missed a lot of the banter in Oligarch cause I was so focused, but seeing clips of it reminded me of the stealth Gaz Price mission and Alone from mw2. I did notice on the monitor with the codes, it looks like it's literally the coding for the mission. Milena's interrogation was a really good scene of good cop bad good between Ghost and Soap.

Highrise is not only a nod to the old map, but to me it reminded me of the Ramirez mission in the building in mw2 09. It was pretty clear that it was a difficult to navigate mission in game testing since there were SO many arrows spraypainted on the walls. I didn't even notice them until about halfway through and I still got lost. The end with getting Nolan exfil was pretty difficult, but still fun.

Frozen Tundra. oh boy it reminded me so much of the second snow mission in mw2 09. Hated leaving Shepherd to fight, but overall pretty fun mission. Loved everyone's snow camo.

Gora Dam, the first and only Ghost mission. Fun, but I had to restart more than a couple times due to the difficulty. I wish there had been checkpoints. Reminded me a lot of the Atomgrad raid 1. Couldn't take "Makorov poisoning the water supply" line without hearing Woody from toy story saying "someone's poisoning the watering hole"

Don't have much to say about Danger Close other than Gaz is so real for not even acknowledging Graves. I thought it was an odd choice to have Alex and Farah not care about Graves' previous actions. It was pretty much the same as the mw2 22 shadow company overwatch mission, little bit easier though.

And finally the piece de resistance: Trojan Horse. What a whirlwind. very difficult mission that I had to restart many many times. Barely any cover, not clear when more enemies are are spawning. As for the... end. I have a hot take. it didn't feel rushed to me. I think the urgency of diffusing the bomb was a good way to end the playable sections. It was HEAVILY inspired by mw2 09 and I think a lot of people missed that, or just didn't know that. The way Makarov shot soap at first was very reminiscent of the end of mw2 09 where you're fighting Shepard and are under the assumption soap is dying and Price is about to lose. Soap using his last breath to help price, help everyone was very in character, as were everyone else. A lot of people think it was cold and unemotional, but it felt realistic to me. It felt in character, they had a job to do and the only one that strayed from that was Ghost. It hurt of course, I think I spent about 15 seconds just staring at Soap and Ghost trying to process it. I actually Clipped that part and when I rewatched, I realized I completely didn't hear Gaz telling me to help him diffuse the bomb. In fact I didn't hear him until he said "he's gone captain" and then asked for help. The reason it was so different from mw3 was because it happened so suddenly. In the og, Price spent like 20 minutes thinking that soap could live if he got help, them watched him die. Here, however, he saw him get shot in the head, pretty cut and dry no coming back from that.

Soap's funeral was also well done. They don't need to be emotional messes, especially since cremation takes time, it's been at the very least like a week since his death. Everyone grieves differently. I loved that they spent the time to take his remains to Scotland. It shows they care. It shows that they respected him greatly.

The mid credit scene was predictable but exactly what I wanted. When Shepherd walked on screen I audibly said "I hope price is waiting in there with a gun" and sure enough. It did feel open ended to leave room for a mw4, but I think whether or not we get one doesn't matter. This story has been told, if Activision chooses to continue, I'll likely play it, but it isn't needed.

Overall, the campaign did a very good job at its purpose: showcasing gameplay for mw3. It's what the campaigns are for at the end of the day. It showed off guns, controls, operators, and maps. The open combat missions gave us a little insight into what the MWZ gamemode might be like. I personally thought everyone was in character. I know a lot of Soap and GhostSoap fans are disappointed with the outcome, but it felt like a respectful way to end Soap's story. As a GhostSoap shipper myself, i feel like we got enough content and backstory of them.

[bipolarediaz]

hello! I'd love to know more about specific moments that convinced you that eddie is bipolar

so if you don't mind me asking, what are three moments that really stand out to you?

hi hello I love this so much, I've been thinking about this all morning, thank you!!

a lot of it isn't specific moments but more the combination of things that build up over time, but if I had to pick three specific things (not necessarily in order)...

eddie begins--a lot of the flashbacks we see definitely give me hints of it. specifically, we have a very clearly depressed eddie after he comes back to el paso, with him struggling to connect with his loved ones, withdrawing into himself even more than usual. he doesn't smile much in the flashbacks, at least not other than when chris is born. but then, we come to the present during that episode, and we see eddie making impulsive decisions (insisting that he go down in the first place, then cutting his line, naming buck as guardian the next day without thinking about it or talking to buck first, etc) it's not as bad as the impulsive decisions from earlier in s3, but I do think that he was at the tail end of his manic episode at that point in the season, and was still making impulsive decisions because of it. the contrast between depressed past eddie and somewhat manic/hypomanic present-day eddie is a good example of both sides.

also from s3, we have not just the fact that eddie joined a cage fighting ring, but also specifically the way that it ends. he is, once again, not thinking through his actions in the slightest. he has all this pent up energy and all these feelings he doesn't know how to manage, and he literally doesn't know how to stop himself. he's like an impending train crash. in the dsm, this particular symptom is described specifically as "Excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences." and that's exactly what's happening. it's excessive, it's something he can't control, and it's causing him actual serious pain and negatively impacting his life. but even though it's negatively impacting it, he doesn't stop. you see this kind of thing a lot in bipolar in excessive spending or gambling, hypersexuality, etc, but it's no different in this situation. he goes completely over the top with it, completely uncaring about the impending consequences. it also leans a bit into grandiosity, with him thinking, at least a little bit, that he is untouchable during this time. and everyone in his life notices it, even if he brushes them off when they try to bring it up. he's noticeably different from normal, in so many ways, that it's impossible to ignore.

and, of course, I've talked before about just how much 5x11 and 5x13 in particular give me those vibes. he's displaying almost every sign of a major depressive episode with mixed features throughout those tow episodes. he's irritable, he's restless, he makes impulsive decisions without thinking about the consequences, all things that we see during his fight with bobby in particular and during the opening montage. but he's also depressed--he's fatigued, he's feeling completely hopeless and worthless, he isn't finding joy in his life anymore, he's isolating himself just like he did back after his tours, and we see hints of suicidal thoughts as well. we've seen all these symptoms from him before, between flashbacks and s3 (and 5a honestly), it's just that now he's got symptoms of both sides of it at the same time, and that's why it hits him so hard when he breaks down. his depression in particular is just so noticeable during 5b, with everyone in his life commenting on it, and there's just no way of denying that he was severely depressed.

bonus reason because I'm never going to be over how much of a missed opportunity it was: in fear-o-phobia, we have that woman through the whole episode who is set up as a clear parallel to eddie, to the point that he intentionally listens in on the call and notices it himself. and the way they do it... is by basically going through every single symptom of bipolar disorder like it's a goddamn checklist, with her sister even saying how much she's "changed" with her acting the way that she was. and then they just... didn't do it. I'm still annoyed by it and I will be forever, thank you.

even with this I feel like I went beyond just "specific moments" lmao, but honestly that's just how it is--if it's just one or two specific moments, that doesn't really indicate anything when it comes to bipolar disorder. it's about persistent mood changes that are noticeably different from your normal, and about sustained changes. it's the long-term arc and the ups and downs eddie's gone through since s2, and the way that things piled up and changed over time, the clear differences we see in how he acts at various points in his life that indicate there's a lot more going on than just normal level mood fluctuations that everyone experiences.

[thesoulesscollection]

In The Name Of Love & Betrayal

I apologize for the lack of interaction but I do hope you enjoy this even with a rare ship and odder plot. 

CopperRightVin (I may try to think of a different ship name for my sake 🤔 just so it won't be mixed up with CopperRightMin)

Tw/Tags: Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Double Agent Charles, Morally Ambiguous/Grey Charles, Ooc Charles (But for this it's in character if that makes sense?), Domestic Fluff, Minor Angst, & Plot/World Building Heavy(Ish)

From a day so prolonged, Charles is fatigued by the end of it. Within seconds, in a snap of the finger his life is altered drastically and he doesn't know what to ponder about it. Since then to now, tiredly slumped in the backseat to some luxuriant vehicle, he can't even use his brain, or even his body for that matter. 

"Look tired there?" In his haze Charles can hear the familiar accented voice up at the driver's seat. 

"Hmm, You don't look well, darling" A second, softer, smoother voice recalls. Gloved hands then cups his face that brought him to reality again. Past bleary eyes, which showed to be a momentary struggle for him to focus, saw a face looking genuinely concerned for his well being. "You should get some sleep, doll. We had a long day, didn't we, Right, dear?" Not too long after Charles did close his eyes, he barely hears the last conversation between the two men. Some he picks up on, either it relates to him and or the day that led them here, other topic pieces he ignores for the calmingly numb buzz sound in his head. 

"He should. Did so well for us earlier" 

With a broken little whine Charles can't help to preen at the glowing praise, "... I. Y-yeah… I did…" 

"You did. We're so proud. For putting all you knew on the line for us" Life as Charles ever known is uprooted, changed forever to which he can't back out on. 

"Never expect much outta you in the terms of a good strategy plan but that one worked out spectacularly" The driver, Right, says with a chuckle. 

"...They… Didn't know what hit them… I-it. It was amazing …" In between a yawn, Charles continues with them. Once he would've felt bad, still there's a nagging voice saying he should, although pushed back, he's actually expressing pure giddiness. "... You all. You should've seen their faces" He can picture them, no matter how he forced it to dissolve into a faint memory where it is permanently seared into his mind. The looks were an odd combination of shock, anger, sadness, and more importantly, betrayal, if they found out about his status.  

"Yes. We saw a few. They were utterly beside themselves in grief. They think you're dead" 

"... That's … Good" Decidedly Charles laid their head on the man's lap, curling into a tiny ball rather than bother an attempt to sleep in their stiff seat. "I should feel bad for them… I don't though…" Spoken softly in a hush, as if someone could hear them. Maybe that made the (ex) pilot a traitor in the law's eyes, in his old friend's viewpoint nevertheless he'll grow past it. 

"Eh' you shouldn't feel too bad for those dogs anyways" Right snidely remarks, earning a tutting noise from their partner. "You're back with the clan and us" 

"Yes. There's quite a few who miss you. We certainly do"

They cracked their eyes open a little, staring up at Reginald with a sullen expression when they replied, "Not exactly who I was referring to. I could care less, they saw me as a simple minded, naive fool they can use. You won't believe how many times I wanted to shoot them in their smug faces. Better yet crash the plane into the nearest building per my 'great plans' with them in it. Painfully ridiculous in what I had to deal with on a daily basis" 

While rambling on, Charles stops, sensing Reginald's fingers cautiously curl around his thick, white locs. "We know. So who do you mean then?" 

"There were these two people I was assigned to work with during my time with the military" Charles picked up, heavily exhausted, and he fought against it. "In order to take both you and the Toppats down" 

In the internal rear side mirror Charles saw Right perks a brow, suddenly curious. "You mean Stickmin and Ms. Rose?" His robotic eye turns a blazing red, and a scowl on his scruffy face. 

"Yes... A part of me does wish I could've told them. I knew better than to spill. It would've risked everything more than it already did. They were amazing in their skills" Charles sympathetically understood why he couldn't have at the time. His teammates, thinking he was their best friend, were regular, run of the mill thieves turning a brand new leaf for the government. 

Far too much a risk to his main cause. They were more trouble then what Charles thought their worth was to him. 

"You shouldn't miss them" Reginald took his turn to respond, looking rather bristled at the mere mention. "Likely they were only in it for themselves. They're a danger to the clan and I'm amazed we aren't totally inoperative" 

"I know. Still they were something" Charles sighs dismissively. 

"We're home. Finally" Right pipes up, curt, as he stops the car and exits. The back door is opened moments later, Charles stays put on Reginald's lap. A gentle persistent nudge at their sides keeps them awake, just barely. "It was a long ride for us. Do you need help?" 

"U-uh, no… No, I think I'm fine. I can handle it" 

Right hums, not believing a single word with Reginald helping the third party up and out the car. "You need it the most. Today was quite spoiled with excitement" He sleepily imagines Reginald fret over him. 

"Sure" He purrs, "I love a good tending to"

In one swift movement, Charles is swooped into the strong arms, obviously it was Right, cold metal earning a chilled shiver. Again he hears Reginald speak across his head to the man, the man's hands freely brushing a loc behind his ear. Well earned sleep came in a slow progression that is able to fully drown out his problems. Enough he for once could relax, to snuggle into the other's broad chest and notice in his daze they entering a house. Charles is met with a deeply intimate warmth seeping into their skin, soothes the aches in his body. A sleepy smile adorned their worn face, safe to be at ease, be with people he's known and loved for years..

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!