#so um.... have a generation observation i guess

[hangesfavles]

Nerd Hange headcanons

4.1k words. AFAB NB loser! hange x bimbo (ish)! fem reader. <3

Summary: Hange is more of a socially inept lesbian redditor gamer nerd rather than a normal ‘i’m smart’ dweeb :). These are general hcs of how you met loser/streamer Hange, things they like and relationship dynamics including you secretly eating them out on stream. <3

A/N: this is my first ever attempt at nsfw so i’m sorry if it’s bad or nondescript! also i know both of my fics so far have been for afab reader, but going forward i plan to write for a genny nootch reader just because i find it to be inclusive to wider groups of hange lovers <3 lol and last time i posted i said i never wrote fanfiction before but that was a tiny fib because i wrote shitty dumpster fire fanfics in middle school, but i’ve /srsly never tried my hand at nsfw before, but i guess there's a first for everything. pls critique me if u have any thoughts but be nice i’m sensitive. also shoutout to @abbyslev for helping me brainstorm <3 if ur reading my fanfics u probably already do, but pleaaaase follow her if u dont she’s lovely!!!! :3

Warnings: Nsfw content under my 2nd divider, sort of exhibitionism and masturbation. Not all of this is nsfw, but I’d still like for MINORS TO DNI. However, I know that you guys like to ignore those warnings, so I bolded the nsfw sections. At the very least, please don’t read the bolded hcs. Thank you & enjoy reading!

❥Loser! Hange who is in the same math course as you. When you walk in on the first day, you’re drawn to them, but not for the reasons you’d initially think. You were almost positive that they would be a decent person to cheat off of. I mean, they seem to look like they know what they’re doing, right?

❥Loser! Hange that can hear their pulse in their ears when they see a pretty girl take the spot beside them. They feel their heart rattling around in their chest as they sneak glances at you whenever they get the chance.

❥Loser! Hange quickly figures out the reason why you decided to sit next to them, rather than the other isolated chairs inside the lecture hall. But don’t worry, of course they’ll let you cheat off of them. Unfortunately, their performance starts to dip a little when they realize what you’re doing. They’re frequently under your gaze, and they can’t help it that you make them nervous :c 

❥Loser! Hange that is unaware that your eyes aren’t only looking down at their answers. One class when you were copying off of them, you started noticing the way their fingers hold their pencil. How slender their digits are, that their nails are surprisingly short, neat and cleaner than expected. You also started to notice how their veins protrude slightly and move up their arm... You feel yourself biting your lip as you observe their side profile. Their cheeks look soft and pink, similarly to their kissable lips. Your eyes continue to trail over their face: their thin, ovular glasses are slightly pushed down on their hooked nose, and their long eyelashes flutter as they continue to take notes beside you.

❥Loser! Hange can’t not listen to you getting called out by the professor when they notice you copying off of your seatmates’ assignments and notes. It was rather embarrassing, but you’re just happy the professor didn’t catch you cheating on an exam and risking academic misconduct.

❥Loser! Hange nudges your arm lightly after that incident, their voice low so you both don’t get caught by the professor. "Hey, um... I've noticed you've been using my notes and uh... answers. Do you need any help with the material? I mean, like, we could study together or something! If you want." They ask you with an excitement in their eyes and voice.

❥Loser! Hange can’t even feel proud of the fact they managed to talk to you because they barely even got that sentence out, and they couldn’t look you in the eye for more than 2 seconds. But it seems like all that is forgotten when you actually agree to meet up with them. They feel a rush of giddiness, but they try not to make a fool of themself in front of you. “Right! Yeah, so here’s my number... We can plan something, er- sometime.” They write their number down, sliding you the ripped end of their notebook page.

❥Loser! Hange who feels their heart in their throat as they lead you into their bedroom. The study session started off a bit rocky and awkwardly, but the tension in the air decreased as time continued on. As much as you would like to actually learn this material to earn good grades, you find yourself wanting to earn their attention much, much more. I mean, you obviously wore your lowest cut shirt and a pleated skirt for a reason. You look up at them, calling out for them. “Hey, Hange?” You ask, smiling as their head shoots up from their notes. “Can you explain this question to me?” You ask quietly, turning around your notebook to face them. You lean closer to them, purposely displaying your breasts for them to (hopefully) ogle.

❥Loser! Hange who starts to feel like they’re being tested by a higher power. They have to physically stop themself from glancing down and making a fool of themself. They try their best to focus on explaining the math problem to you as you watch their every movement like a hawk. You notice their eyes fall on your chest for a split second, and you pounce on your opportunity to tease them further. You reach up to their face, flicking their nose up so they’re forced to look at you. “My eyes are up here, silly.” “I- Uh- Sorry, just-” Hange trips over their words as they try to formulate a cohesive sentence on the spot. “Don’t worry about it, I’m just teasin’. It’s not so bad to be stared at if it's you.” You say with a playful wink.

❥Loser! Hange folds immediately. “O-Oh... Me? Really?” They ask, their eyes widening and pupils dilating. You can’t help but chuckle at their disbelief and nod your head in confirmation. “Yes, you. Is there anybody else in the room with us?” You joke. They stumble over their words as they think of a response. “W-Well, no, there isn’t, but- y’know- I didn’t think you-” They stutter, pushing the notebook aside and gesturing their hands between the two of you. They feel their cheeks growing warmer from embarrassment as they struggle to coherently voice their jumbled thoughts. “You know, you should at least take me to dinner before looking at me like that.” 

❥Loser! Hange doesn’t need to be told twice. They grab your hand with a cheesy smile, practically dragging you to their car while suggesting all sorts of restaurants that you might agree to. “Is there a certain restaurant you had in mind? We can try something totally different, like a little hole-in-the-wall joint. Ooh, but picture this: hibachi. The whole watching people cook in front of me thing usually makes me feel awkward but the food is always soooo good. Oh, or maybe we could go to a steakhouse! No matter what you choose, I’ll be fine with whatever! What do you think?" GOD they are just so excited and you find it utterly adorable. They remained true to their word and took you to whichever place you decided and paid for both of your meals. (They would have done this even if you didn’t joke about it bless their heart.) But then that first date turned into 2 dates, which quickly became 3, 4, 5, then suddenly you both forgot because anything the two of you do together is a date in your minds.

❥Loser! Hange definitely asks you out after only the second date. But in their defense, you’ve been hanging out after class as well as coming over to their house for “study sessions” that alway turned into watching tv or movies, ordering ubereats, going to the movies, walking around their neighborhood, anything but studying. You even took them to a party once. (You guys left after a half hour because Hange got overwhelmed, but you were still happy they tried something for you.) So by the time you guys went on your second “official date” they definitely felt confident that you would say yes.

❥Loser! Hange who loves talking to you about whatever game they’re playing. If it’s a story game, they’d love to explain anything you missed or don’t understand. They also would voice their predictions about how the game will end or where the story will go. If they see something predictable, they’ll definitely tell you what they think will happen, trying to impress you so when/if it does they’ll look “cool” to you. In reality though, you just find them to be geeky in the most endearing way. “Look, there’s a bunch of ammo in this room. If there’s a boss behind this door, you have to give me a kiss.” They say to you with a sly grin on their face. If it’s a PVP game, they will explain everything about what skills and powers each character has and who their favorite to play is. They’ll talk about what they like and dislike about the different mechanics, their favorite characters, parts they find tricky, etc. And of course, you sit there with a dopey smile while you listen to their rambling without interrupting, even if you don’t understand a word of what they’re saying because they’re just too cute when they’re passionately rambling. 

❥Loser! Hange who loves inviting you over, even if you two are doing absolutely nothing. They adore when you watch them play all sorts of video games. If they’re playing a console game, Hange lays next to you with your head against their shoulder, your arm splaying across their stomach while your hand rests around their waist. You tend to get pretty invested if the game is story based, insisting that they can’t play it without you around to watch the next part of the story unfold. If they’re playing a PC game, you’re sitting in their lap with a skirt that does absolutely nothing to cover your body once you’re seated on top of them. You prefer to face away from them, occasionally squirming in their lap so they can feel your ass pressed against their thighs and stomach. However, you do occasionally enjoy facing them, your arms wrapped around their shoulders as your legs hang off of their gaming chair at either side of their body.

❥Loser! Hange who also loves when you’re sitting in their lap, even if they struggle to focus on the game in front of them when your warm body is pressed against their own. It doesn’t help that they can smell the perfume coming from your neck, tempting them to lean in and kiss you there.

❥Loser! Hange that can’t resist the urge to rest their hands on your thighs during a cutscene, between rounds, during any sort of loading screen or when they’re respawning. They’ll use your thighs to push your ass back and closer to their body. 

❥Loser! Hange kisses your neck from behind, causing you to tilt your head and expose more of your neck for them to kiss. You let out a chuckle at how you effortlessly turned them on just by sitting on their lap and looking pretty.

❥Let’s just say... Loser! Hange finds the opportunity to quit or pause the game as soon as they can. When they eventually return to whatever game they were playing, they find it much easier to focus after you’re both satisfied. ♡

❥Loser! Hange who is also a small streamer! They probably get a few hundred people to watch them game each stream. They may not have a huge community, but their fans are consistent, funny, and always welcoming to new viewers! It’s a comforting little community. Because of this, Hange responds to their chat quite a bit and they’ve made quite a few friends with their mods and regular viewers.

❥Loser! Hange had to explain to you what streaming was. They decided that they would show you what it's like by doing a short stream while you silently watch them game and listen to them talk with their viewers.

❥Loser! Hange never technically introduced you to their fans. Not because they didn’t want to, they just knew that the internet wasn’t always kind, even if their fans are 99% supportive. They wouldn’t mention it much, but they are a little insecure about themself. They know that they treat you like an absolute princess, and they know that you adore them, that’s not the problem. The problem is that they don’t know if they’ll ever feel deserving of you. 

❥Loser! Hange only mentions this to you at late hours of the night when they feel vulnerable and slightly sleepy. You spend countless late nights at sleepovers holding them in your arms and reassuring them just how attractive you find them and that no one has treated you better. They start to feel reassured more once you mention to them that you don’t feel deserving of the endless love they give or of the many ways they spoil you.

anyway back to streamer hcs

❥Loser! Hange didn’t expect you to surprise them one day in their room with their favorite takeout in the middle of a stream. You didn’t know that they were streaming and you wanted to sneak up on them and scare them >:). You slip into their room as quietly as possible, slowly tiptoeing to their form slouched over their desk. Because of the slight delay of their videocam to their viewers, Hange doesn’t get the chance to read all of the different messages of the chatters who spotted your presence and are questioning about it. You silently place the bag of food on the floor, wrapping your arms around their shoulders and kissing their cheek roughly. 

❥Loser! Hange practically jumps out of their chair, yelping from the shock. They realize that it’s you pretty quickly, because no one else would hold or kiss them like that. They pause their game, swiveling around to face you with a wide smile. “Hi, baby!! What are you doin’ here?”

❥Loser! Hange immediately forgets the world around them, forgetting they’re literally live as they try to grab at your hips while they talk to you. “Mmmm,” You hum and giggle. “I just wanted to surprise you. It’s been a few days, I missed you.” You mumble before stepping back so that their hands disconnect from your waist. “Let me get some plates and napkins real quick.” You tell them before you leave the room again.

❥Loser! Hange remembers that they’re streaming, facing their viewers again to read what they missed from chat. “Chat, what do you mean ‘how did you bag a baddie?’” They say, reading some of the messages out loud. “‘How come Hange can get a girlfriend and I can’t? Life isn’t fair-’ WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” They cut themself off, their jaw dropping a little from the comments they read. The chat starts to go crazy after seeing you. Most of the messages are asking who you are, if Hange is dating you, or simply encouraging Hange to stream with you sometime officially. But of course, it’s much easier to take note of bad comments people say rather than nice ones.

❥Loser! Hange pouts when you return with plates in hand, ignoring their chat again in the blink of an eye. "I'm charming, right? and cute?” They look up at you with puppy eyes as you stand in front of them. “I'm desirable." They say those words like a statement, but it sounds like they’re trying to convince themself rather than state a fact. You hear the insecurities dripping from their tone. You promptly climb into their lap, placing a tender kiss to their cheek while your hand cups the opposite one. You progressively start kissing all over their face, and they close their eyes, giggling and getting lost in the moment. When you eventually begin moving down their neck, their eyes snap open as they remember the audience. "AAAAHHHH, I'M LIVE, I'M LIVE!" They warn you frantically, suddenly remembering again why they were a bit insecure in the first place. This causes you to jump a bit from their yelling. They swivel their chair around to face the monitor, looking at it from over your shoulder. "S-Sorry chat, ending stream a bit early today..." They say quickly, turning off their game and switching tabs to end their video. You chuckle, turning to face their camera. "Oops." you say only a few seconds before they end their stream. 

❥Loser! Hange decides that they might as well officially introduce you after that incident, since they know they’ll be getting teased for it for the next few streams.

❥Loser! Hange never thought that they would be in this situation with anyone, no less you. This exact scenario had been nothing but a fantasy in the corners of their mind. A fantasy that would fog up their mind in the late hours of the night, prompting them to slip their fingers under their boxers and lightly circle their clit with their fingertips, eventually slipping them inside of their warm body. Their back would arch up off of the bed, trying their best to picture that their own fingers were instead yours.

❥Loser! Hange that noticed a sort of glint in your eyes when they asked if it was okay to stream while the two of you were still hanging out. They hadn’t been active in the past handful of days because they’ve been spending all their time with you. They just can’t deny you, especially when you both want to spend all your time with the other.

❥Loser! Hange who has to resist the urge to drool as you carefully and quietly crawl under their desk, looking up at them through your long, mascara coated eyelashes as your knees hit the slightly dusty floor... 

❥You aren’t sure what came over you, but when you were watching them put their headphones on and start welcoming people into their stream, you missed the attention being on you. So decided to tease and torture them and force them to give you attention still. 

❥Loser! Hange is forced to pretend you aren’t under their desk and spreading their thighs and pulling down their boxers while giving them that signature sultry smile with your matching lustful look in your eye. You bite your lip as you part their legs, moving in closer to their folds. They can feel your hot breath on their legs as you kiss, lick, and bite the plush skin of their inner thighs. For a few moments, you feel their hand rest on top of your head and stroke your hair approvingly as you start to rile them up. They can feel their face heating up a little, but if anyone in chat mentions it they just explain that their AC isn’t working properly. Even from just your breath and kisses teasing their thighs, they can feel themself getting wet, the stickiness spreading around their groin.

❥Loser! Hange melts under your touches, but they quickly become needy and desperate for more. Their resolve is always weak when it comes to you, and your teasing will be the death of them. They’re trying so hard not to whine and plead because they have to act normal and play their game. Even when your tongue finally reaches out to meet their pussy, you keep teasing them. You give them as little as you possibly can, spreading their folds with the tip of your tongue, only occasionally flicking up to their clit. You also kiss their puffy pussy lips and their clit, showing how much you love them while simultaneously subjecting them to such sweet torture. When they feel your tongue finally giving them what they wanted, their legs start to twitch slightly from the stimulation. They try their best to regulate their breathing so nothing seems out of the ordinary.

❥Loser! Hange doesn’t know how to act when your mouth starts to move faster and faster between their legs. They’ve stopped looking at their chat entirely, just trying to focus on playing the game somewhat coherently and occasionally talking about it or making a random comment without stuttering or sighing from pleasure.

❥Loser! Hange’s pussy is dripping onto their chair from all of your teasing. The combination of your tongue and their pussy makes an audible squelch as you suck, kiss, and lick up their slit and their hips move slightly, trying to keep up with the rhythm of your tongue. At this point, they’re starting to feel the knot in their stomach tighten, and they’re struggling to hold back their sounds. “Chat, I’ve gotta use the bathroom real quick-” They say, closing their webcam and muting their mic as fast as their fingers let them.

❥Loser! Hange’s hand finds its way back to your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pushing you as close to them as biology allows. Their head falls back as they let out a shaky moan. “Ahhh.. F-Fuckk... Please, please more.” They whine, encouraging you to eat them out without fear. You can both feel how their pussy throbs with desire for attention. They’ve been impatiently craving this, so they plan to take full advantage of the fact you’re right where they want you. You pick up the pace, sloppily making out with their pussy and sucking their labia between your lips. They toss one of their legs up onto your shoulder, allowing you more access to them as the knot in their core is almost ready to release. You look up into their eyes, slurping up their juices. The way you look up at them with devotion makes them feel even better due to how much desire is in your expression, adding another layer of eroticism for them from your enjoyment.

❥Loser! Hange feels the tension in their lower stomach releasing. They sigh and moan out into the air lightly as they feel white hot pleasure take their entire mind and body. They arch themself off the chair, trying to meet your mouth even more than already possible. Their body grinds against your tongue as they shiver from the intensity of their orgasm.

❥Immediately after their orgasm subsides, loser! Hange pulls your head up by your hair, kissing you deeply and not caring that they can taste their sticky cum on your plump lips. Their free hand slides down to the back of your thigh, guiding your body to sit on their lap. Their hands are protective and possessive while you make out. They are such a softie, always wanting to cuddle, hug, and kiss after sex. They love you so much and need to let it show, it’s like a warm blanket of warmth and affection covers their heart. They see the world with rose colored glasses for an hour or two after you make them cum, honestly. 

❥Loser! Hange holds you for a little while, their face nuzzled against your neck as they whisper sweet nothings to you. They’ll pepper your neck, collarbones, and face with kisses while telling you how good you made them feel. “I- love- you- so- much- sweet- heart- thank- you-” They’d say between pecks to your skin, causing you to giggle from the slight tickle of their lips moving around your upper body. They only stop their barrage of kisses when you start to push at their shoulders playfully, begging them to stop. “I love youuuu!” They say in a drawn out tone, giving your body a tight squeeze. “But duty calls, so we'll have to continue this later. Don't worry, I'll be thinking about you the whole time!"

❥Loser! Hange loves aftercare, giving and receiving, basically. They’re happy as long as you’re physically close to them <//3.

❥Loser! Hange also used to have inappropriate thoughts about you before you two were officially dating. They knew it was a bit weird to do so without you having any knowledge of it, but they couldn’t help themself. The two of you had exchanged Instagrams after your very first study session and since then, they can’t help but fuck their fingers to your posts. They try to refrain from doing so each time; they attempt to scroll past your stories as if the sight of your face hadn’t already turned them on. Each time it always ends the same, inevitably retyping your name in the search bar to revisit the photo. At this point it had to be some sort of conditioning, the way their body would react to you like clockwork. But they still feel so embarrassed to be so obsessed with you simply because you gave them an ounce of attention.

❥Loser! Hange used to imagine you in all sorts of different positions for them. You name it, they’ve probably thought about it once or maybe even twice. Sometimes they would imagine you sitting on their face, other times they could imagine you under them as they would fuck their strap into you. When Hange feels extra desperate, they like to picture the ways you would take them, perhaps you would trap them against the bed, fingering their throbbing pussy while making out with them to ensure that they weren’t too loud. A favorite daydream of theirs surrounds the different types of faces you would make as they eat you out. They yearn to see how your eyes might look down at them, pleading for them to make you cum, or how they may be shut entirely, your lips parted to sigh out with pleasure from how good they’re making you feel. They’d wonder what kind of sounds you would make. Were you loud? Quiet? Shy? Breathy? Are you the type that moans, or are you the type that whimpers? These questions had plagued their mind until they finally had you for the first time after 4-5 dates. <3

i miss hange rip hange you would’ve loved being the most nerdy loser dork the geek world ever saw.

[badbatchsprincess]

Heated ~ pt.9

Pt.1 ~ Pt.2 ~ Pt.3 ~ Pt.4 ~ Pt.5 ~ Pt.6 ~ Pt.7 ~ Pt.8 ~ Pt.9

Masterlist

Summary: This is an ABO Bad batch!Poly x Omega Reader smut with a plot. This takes place as an AU before order 66. Y/N previously served under the 501st before being transferred to Special Forces 99. This is her adventure with these rowdy Alphas in a quickly changing universe.

THIS IS AN ABO AU ABOUT THE BAD BATCH (NO CANON OMEGA!) Due to the unfortunate situation of her name being Omega… Omega the child from the canon series is not going to be apart of this fanfic/porn with a plot. I feel obligated to put this warning in because it makes my skin crawl thinking anyone could make that mistake. 

Warnings: Awkwardness, cringe, general Echo mischief, smut!!!, crosshair actually has feelings.

Echo 🤝 the Suriel

Mama Echo lives for spilling the tea.... enjoy babessss

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“So…” You clapped your hands together standing awkwardly in the galley walkway, “What did you want to talk about?” You felt your insides tinge with awkwardness. 

“You shouldn’t be standing.” Tech pointed at your bandaged feet. 

Duh.  “I know that…” You scoffed and shuffled over to the dining table to sit on the bench next to Crosshair. Instead, his arm shot out grabbing you, bringing you down into his lap with a squeak. 

“Vod.” Hunter chastised. Crosshair settled you comfortably.

“What?” He bent down running his nose over the shell of your ear, “The lady needed a seat.” 

“We’re supposed to be talking about this.” Hunter sighed rubbing his temple. 

Crosshair was thoroughly enjoying this dress you had. If he was king of the universe he’d write it into law to keep you in outfits like this all the time.  

You had tried your best to tie it back like Taryn had once you got out of the shower hoping you wouldn’t accidentally flash anyone. Not that Crosshair would mind apparently. 

“Then talk vod.” Crosshair sassed keeping a possessive hand on your bare thigh. 

Hunter shifted uncomfortably suddenly feeling awkward, “Okay… So… Uhm…” 

You raised a brow feeling the cringe vibrate in your body. Crosshair sensed you tensing up and started rubbing little circles into your thigh to comfort you. 

“Sarge?” Wrecker raised a brow at Hunter’s warming cheeks as the eldest of them shuddered back and forth trying to find the right words. 

“Yeah. Yeah. I know.” Hunter groused, “Obviously things like this aren’t supposed to happen… and we um… probably should clear the air to know how everyone is feeling…” He was trying to sound as clinical as possible.

“Good job bud.” Echo gave Hunter a thumbs up from the copilot seat. 

“Y/N how about you start.” Hunter coughed and crossed his arms. Clearly you weren’t the only one feeling the cringe. 

“Start with that? Can Tech go first?” You looked at him then the others. 

“Fine.” Hunter looked to his goggled brother, “Tech starts.” 

The Pilot pushed up his goggles, “I guess I’m just trying to decipher if this was a series of unfortunate events or something that was bound to happen eventually. As we have not ever had a female, or an omega with us before I have no data to compare it to. But if I were making a hypothetical observation based on my own observations, the way Y/N’s eyes are currently dilated and her skin flushing, she’s interested in relations with Crosshair… at least from what I can tell.” 

You visibly tensed and Crosshair wrapped his arm around your chest how hauling you into his front. Damn Tech for airing out your business like that. 

“Is that correct?” Hunter asked with a glint of hope in his eyes. 

“I-I uhh.” You shot Tech a look before shaking your head, “I don’t know. I know this is like, soooo against basically every rule the GAR has, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t interested…clearly.” 

“Interested in all of us?” Wrecker asked with longing eyes. 

“It would appear so…” You couldn’t deny what your hindbrain wanted in the throws of heat, but it didn’t make the embarrassment any softer. 

“Do you feel like this was something you wanted to happen?” Hunter asked dying to know the answer. He’d be lying if he didn’t feel like shit the second he was coming out of the rut. Like they had taken advantage of you, “or were you just reacting to the heat…”

You chewed your lip suddenly feeling ultra vulnerable, Crosshair gave you an encouraging squeeze, “Truthfully, I think it was both.” You were heating up now, “I mean, I think the heat took over and made the decision for me, but I guess I’ve always had those thoughts.” You whispered the last part wishing this whole awkward conversation would be over. 

Echo must have taken pity on you, or felt the undeniable urge to stir the pot because he cleared this throat and spoke up, “Well, as fabulously as Hunter is handling this. I have to let Tiny know that I know for a fact these four idiots have been pining for you since you joined the unit.” 

You quirked your head. What?…no.

“If Hunter hadn’t laid down the “no touch” law in the start, these nerf herders would have been at each other’s throats nine months ago.” Echo raised a brow and pointed an accusatory finger at Hunter, “Sarge over here can’t help but sniff you every time you walk by. Like a fucking blood hound and panics like a mother hen every time you're out of sight. He also looses his damn mind every time another male is mentioned in regard to you. That one…” 

He pointed to Tech, “I’ve caught him reviewing cam footage of you two talking before just so he can look at your face. He also keeps a pin up of a look alike he stole from 501st under his mattress.” 

Then he looks at Wrecker, “I’ve had to listen to Wrecker moaning your name while rubbing one out when he thinks I’m asleep.” The giant gasped turning beet red, “And him… he’s a certified panty snatcher!” He narrowed in on Crosshair who had the audacity to look smug, “and on quarterlies I know he only picks omegas that hold an uncanny resemblance to little miss Pip over here.” 

Suddenly you didn’t feel half as mortified as you did before, now that everyone got aired out.

 “You’re the reason why I can’t find any fucking panties?!” You screeched turning sideways to yell at Crosshair, “I thought the laundry machine was swallowing them up! I made Tech take the damn thing apart!” 

Then there was yelling… 

“Echo what the fuck!” “Why didn’t you say anything!” “Oh my god all this damn time?” “What did I say about the fucking panties?” “Wrecker took a pair too!” “Did not!” “I can’t believe this.” “You literally said not to do anything!” “I cannot fathom how I’m the only one who didn’t know about the panties.” “Euegh! I cannot believe this.” “Well I liked her first!” “No, Wrecker you didn’t!” “How the hell could you have known that?” “You said you liked her from just seeing her photo.” “It was a good photo!” 

You just stared at Echo with a flummoxed expression while he smirked as the chaos unfolded before him. The younger brothers yelled as Hunter melted into the durasteel wall rubbing his temples with stress. Clearly this wasn’t going how sergeant thought it would. 

You sat there in total shock. Sure, you’d had fleeting thoughts about the boys. Who wouldn’t. You’re a young beautiful omega in your prime surrounded by some of the most gorgeous fit alphas in the entire known universe, those kind of thoughts were bound to happen. But you were also a professional, and tried to keep those feelings to yourself. 

But you wouldn’t lie and say it wasn’t beyond flattering to know they each had fantasized about you as well… 

“Okay, hold up!” You raised a hand silencing the arguing clones standing up from Crosshair’s lap and standing in the center of the room, “How long has this been going on?” You had to adjust the red fabric to keep your legs semi covered.

They just blinked at you then at each other. You put your hands on your hips waiting for someone to answer. 

“Since I saw your picture.” Wrecker said sheepishly, “And then when you first treated that stab wound on Corellia.” 

That was your first mission with them… 

“Christophsis.” Tech states. 

“Christophsis?” You were trying to recall that assignment. 

Tech gave you a tiny smile and his neck reddened, “You had to emergency fly the marauder and pick us up from that base.” 

“You liked that?” You smirked. 

He nodded, “I didn’t know you knew how to fly.”

“Hmm.” You crossed your arms and pointed to Crosshair, “Spill.” 

He gruffed. Feelings aren’t his forte. 

“I don’t know Ad’ika it just happened.” He said defensively. 

“Thats not what I remember.” Wrecker poked at him, “You said you wanted her after you walked in on her in the fresher that one time.” 

You gawked. You remembered that day it still haunted you. 

You were mortified, you had just finished up your shower and turned off the water when Crosshair barged into the room not realizing you were in there. He got quite the eye full. You just squeaked and grabbed your towel, covering yourself. He had silently turned on his heel and left, leaving you to die from embarrassment in pained silence. 

Luckily he never spoke about it ever again and you were thankfully able to move past it. Yo didn’t think he had cared one bit.

You then turned to Hunter, “And you, Sarge?” 

He stood up from the wall and crossed his arms looking down at his boots, “It was before we officially met actually.” 

You furrowed your brows.

“We were there when you treated Echo after Sako Minor. You were still with the 501st and we had decided to help in the mission to retrieve him. You were too busy working but I remember seeing you and scenting you before you disappeared into the triage. I’ve never smelled an omega like you before. It stuck with me. When your file came to us I knew I had to approve it.” He sounded a little embarrassed, you were sure because he thought it was a bit selfish. 

You smiled, “You remembered me?” 

He nodded, “Couldn’t ever forget a woman like you Cyra’ika. Wanted to paint you on the side of the ship.” 

“Still can.” Wrecker chuckled. 

“Okay then explain Kashyyyk.” You pointed at Crosshair, “And I still want an apology. That was fucked up.” 

“They were so jealous Adi’ka.” Echo laughed in earnest now crossing his arms and letting the chuckles spill, “Thought you were fucking Wolfee!” 

“I wasn’t!” You screamed. How many times were you going to have to say that!

“Sure seemed like it.” Crosshair accused. 

“Nuh uh. Apologize.” You crossed your arms over your chest accidentally pushing up your breasts. Crosshair zeroed in on your cleavage and swallowed thickly. 

“Crosshair never apologizes.” Tech sighed.

“Well, he’s gonna start now.” You pointed a finger into the ground.

The sniper narrowed his eyes challengingly which you just matched his scowl, “Hunter apologized.” You said walking over to Hunter and leaning into him. The sergeant looped an arm around your middle rubbing your bare ribcage. 

“Wrecker gave me his rations, and Tech fixed my data pad.” You tapped your fingers against your arms. 

Crosshair took a deep breath trying to still himself. He wasn’t going to crack so easily, but you knew there was one way you could get through to the alpha. 

“Fine. Don’t wanna talk?” You drawled spinning around facing Hunter, “Then you only get to watch from here on out…until you apologize.” You brought your hand up to Hunter’s cheek and guided his mouth down to yours for a deep wanton kiss. You whimpered bending your leg into him showing off how high the slits went to the rest of the room.

You heard Echo let out a low whistle. 

Hunter ran his hands up your sides making a show of it, knowing it was driving Crosshair insane.  He knew how badly Crosshair wanted you. Hunter’s hands slid south cupping your ass giving it a good squeeze. 

When Hunter had found Crosshair’s panty stash and he knew his little brother was down bad. 

You moaned into sarge’s mouth and carded your hands through his luscious hair. You gave the strands at the base of his neck a tug and he growled bending down to pick up your thighs and wrap them around his waist. 

“Aren’t we supposed to be talking?” Echo asked amused.

“Later.” You said breaking away from Hunter’s eager lips. 

“We got time.” He smiled before diving back in to capture your mouth and start to walk the two of you into the bunks. 

You giggled as Hunter threw you down onto the plush cot with a bounce before climbing on top of you. You happily wriggled under him seeking out his soft lips again. 

“You’re evil.” Hunter whispered into your ear.

“You have no idea.” You whispered back grabbing at his blacks. 

“Is this actually happening?” Wrecker asked following the two of you in. 

“She did express her interest, Wrecker.” Tech said standing in the doorway, “But this seems to be more about torturing Crosshair than anything else.” 

“You okay with this Mesh’la?” Hunter asked looking down at you. 

“Yes sir.” You watched his iris’ dilate at the use of title. 

The he was on you like a feral nexu. His teeth instantly went to your neck barely missing your gland making you scream. You heard the others shedding their armor as Hunter brought his nimble hands to your core and rubbing sensually through your dampening folds. You weren’t nearly as wet as you were during the heat, but Hunter was satisfied when he pushed a finger in stretching your still slightly sore cunt finding you dripping wet. 

You moaned pathetically rocking your hips down wanting more. He added another finger making you squirm. 

“You ready Adi’ka? He rubbed your clit making you whine. You nodded desperate to be filled. He kissed you once more time before grabbing your hips and lifting you so your dripping core was perfectly angled at Tech. 

“Take him like a good little omega.” Hunter stood up from the cot to start slowly taking off his armor watching you spread your legs even further for Tech. The pilot knelt down on the cot in between your legs leaning over to give you a kiss. He seemed a little stiff at first but when you started grinding down on his codpiece with your soaked cunt, you felt him start to get a little more explorative with his tongue as he deepened the kiss.

~~~

Echo smirked, “You should probably bite the bullet and apologize.” 

He was loving watching Crosshair be miserable hearing your fucked out cries as his brothers pleasured you. 

He just grunted willing his jealousy down. 

“She’s as stubborn as a bantha. She can hold out forever. One time fives thought it would be funny to dump ice water on her during her shower, she didn’t talk to him for three weeks and made sure his sutures were extra painful when he came into her office.” 

He was in shock, he raised brow suddenly realizing that that time of Kashyyyk could have been more much worse if it wasn’t for the dire circumstances.

“Oh yeah.” Echo laughed at the memory, “Made him scrub her quarters for a week as an apology. Little thing has a hidden talent for torture.” 

You let out a particularly pornographic moan that made Crosshair hard and cranky.

Crosshair grunted and stood up deciding he would rather just swallow his pride then to watch his brothers have you over and over again for however long you decided to duel out his punishment. 

“I literally save her ass and this is what she wants from me…” Crosshair shook his head heading to the back of the ship, “omegas…” 

~~~

He turned the corner to stand in the door way arms crossed. He chewed on his toothpick a little too hard once seeing the glorious site in front of him. You were spread out on your back still in that sinful scrap of fabric dress taking Tech in your soaked cunt while you sucked Wrecker into your throat. Hunter leaned against the wall watching his younger vod fuck you dumb. 

“Can’t take the heat?” Hunter eyed Crosshair. 

Tech rubbed at your clit making you arch into the cot while he pounded you. You came with a scream forcing Tech into cumming from how hard you tightened around him. He groaned pumping white ropes into your throbbing cunt gripping your hips with his strong hands.

He pulled out with a squelch letting you roll onto your hands and knees keeping Wrecker in your mouth skillfully. 

From Hunter and Crosshair’s view they could see your glistening thighs and milky cunt leaking with Tech’s spend. You briefly took your mouth off Wrecker stroking him with your hand while you looked back over your shoulder to see their lusty gazes. You arched prettily showing off while returning back to give Wrecker your full attention.

“Kriff.” Crosshair cursed. You knew exactly what you were doing. Echo was right, you weren’t shy in the slightest nor afraid to torture a man.

Crosshair looked psychically pained that he couldn’t touch you, while Hunter didn’t hesitate to slot in behind you, filling you with his hard cock. You moaned taking your sergeant while still stroking Wrecker. You leaned down to suck one of his balls into your mouth making him whine and fist your hair. 

“Such a good girl Mesh’la.” Hunter praised bringing his hand down across your ass cheek with a sharp snap. You yelped then moaned at the burning sensation. You knew you’d have Hunter’s hand print on your ass for a few hours and that made you giddy. He grabbed onto your hips and rocked into you with intention, fisting the red fabric for leverage he shoved you further onto Wrecker. 

Feeling your second orgasm simmering, you reached down to circle your nerves making you twitch and quiver around Hunter. 

“Gonna cum Mesh’la.” Wrecker bit out thrusting slightly into your waiting mouth. You sucked his tip extra hard while he poured his seed down your throat. You swallowed diligently and licked him up before letting him go. He slumped back against the wall and you collapsed onto your chest presenting your ass so perfectly for Hunter. 

Sarge leaned forwards grabbing the back of your neck pinning you to the cot.

When you turned your head to look at Crosshair, you could tell he was standing uncomfortably with his codpiece restricting him. The look was subtle, but you could see the yearning in his eyes. 

It was the same desire he had when you had shot that pirate with firepuncher. It was a hot and heady look. You knew you were close to cracking him so you decided to turn it up a notch. 

You reached behind you to grab at Hunter’s wrists but he just manhandled them behind you securing them to your lower back, “take it omega!” he growled, pounding into you mercilessly. 

You mewled and widened your knees giving your back more of an arch so he could hit even deeper. You both cried out at the change of position. 

“Good girl.”

The you made fierce eye contact with Crosshair and ave him a mischievous wink, “Alpha… please!”  

They were suddenly filled with the deep primal urge to please you. You haven’t used your omega voice since Howzer, and even it made you shiver, just like the boys around you. 

They were on you like flies. 

Tech and Wrecker shoving each other around trying to get to you. Competing for who would make you cum first. 

You watched Crosshair approach but manage to somehow stop himself just a few feet away remembering your punishment could be so much worse if he were to disobey your wishes.

You knew it was paining him not to answer your cry… It was payback. You smiled wolfishly as Hunter took you to pound town to finish the job.

Wrecker used his strength to shove Tech away to slide under your spread thighs to lick at your clit a suckle gently coaxing you to your end. 

You screamed baring down on Wrecker’s face as your pleasure washed over you like a tidal wave with such ferocity. 

You shivered and convulsed as Hunter gave you his last few pumps before filling you with his cum. He leaned forwards biting into your shoulder again careful not to hit the gland as he came down from his high. Clearly your enchanting command had turned on his hindbrain too Hunter was actively fighting off the urges to mate. He must be extra sensitive due to his special abilities.

You quivered around his softening cock feeling the afterglow tingles from the mock bite dissipate from the junction of your neck.

You almost collapsed onto Wrecker but Hunter was holding on tight trying to quell his desire to actually bite you. Fucking without the implants was proving to be dangerous he realized. He nuzzled the back of your neck trying to keep his incisors in check but not ready to let you go quite yet. 

“You want help with that Cross?” You looked down at his crotch. He swallowed thickly. “You know what you need to do…” You smirked sitting up letting Hunter slide out of you. 

He sighed, “Fine, but not in front of them.” He grumbled making you smile. 

“You heard him.” You said readjusting your dress to cover yourself again. The others just left with a grin slapping Crosshair on the shoulder as they stumbled out, feeling the blood rush back to their heads. 

“Go on.” You crossed your arms calming your heart. 

“You’re neglecting your real talents.” He sighed leaning against the wall, “Should be working for the Guard in interrogation and torture tactics.” 

You raised a brow. 

“Ugh.” He looked up at the ceiling before turning his attention to you, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used my voice to command you like that, and I’m sorry.” It wasn’t the best apology, but you knew that was probably more than anything anyone has ever probably received from the prickly sniper. 

“Apology accepted.” You smiled, “On one condition… You give me back my panties.” 

He laughed, “Fine. But you’ll have to raid Wrecker’s drawer too.” 

“Come here.” You ordered. 

He walked over to you as you stood up still being dwarfed by the tall soldier, “Promise you’ll never do that to me ever again. You cannot take my freewill from me.” 

He sighed feeling the guilt in his chest, “I promise ad’ika.” 

You nodded and brought your hands up to his cheeks forcing him to look at you before you leaned up onto your tip toes to press your lips to his. He deepened the kiss lowering his head to your height. 

“I want you Crosshair.” You whispered breaking the kiss, “I wanted you the second I saw you in that temple.” 

He growled backing you up into the cot, “You looked so good holding firepuncher. Looked even better killing that man.” 

You hummed, “You liked that huh?” 

He nodded, “Oh yes, ad’ika.” He snaked his arm around your neck to fist your hair and expose your neck to him, “My omega is fierce.” He ran his incisors over your pulse point where his brother had left his mark making you shiver. 

“Your omega?” You were breathless. 

He hummed approvingly, “Mine.” He snarled launching you down to the cot. You landed with a yelp as he crowded you into the jumbled mattress. 

“This damn dress.” He shook his head taking it all in before yanking down your top to reveal your breasts and hardened nippled. He leaned forwards latching onto one and massaging the other as he nudged your legs apart, “Was gonna take you on that temple floor. M’didn’t wanna wait.” He switched sides giving equal attention to the other breast. 

You whined thinking about that heated look he gave you when the pirate had dropped cold. You knew if the city wasn’t under siege he would have made good on his word and that sent a powerful thrill through your entire being. You carded your fingers through his silver hair massaging his nape making him moan.

“So perfect ad’ika.” He praised pushing the dress slit to the side to reveal your ruined thighs. He smirked seeing the mess his brother had made of you. 

You chewed your lip as he shoved his blacks down revealing his massive cock. It was definitely longer than the others and veiny like Wreckers. You spread your legs letting him see the cum leaking out of you. It made his cock twitch and drip with precum. 

The past 48 hours without you had nearly driven him nearly to insanity, but looking down at you now, he finally felt like he could relax and enjoy you how he wanted. 

Knowing you had already been warmed up, he gripped your thighs placing your ankles on either side of his head and pushed forwards sliding into you with ease. You cried out being stretched again as Cross filled you to the brim. He brushed up against your cervix making you squirm and mewl. 

“Such a good girl.” He smiled flashing his incisors, “Taking all of your alphas so well…like you were made for us.” He thrust hard watching you bounce up and down on his cock. He reached forwards grabbing your tits and massaging them as he continued his precision thrusts. 

“Ah-Crosshair!” You whined grappling for purchase and gripping onto his thighs. 

He rocked the two of you steadily, “Wanted to kill all those fucking people for taking you from us.” He was getting more aggressive in his movements, “Never letting you go ever again ad’ika.” He reached down parting your thighs to rub circles on your clit. He felt you begin to flutter around him, “Gonna kill anyone who tries.” 

“Promise?” You looked up at him with a wicked grin. 

He mimicked your exact expression feeling a bolt of energy run through him, “Promise, sweetheart.” You were going to be the death of him.

He felt you tense up and knew you were about to cum. He kept going until you were arching off the bed moaning like you were in heat again. 

He leaned down to press desperate kisses to your plush lips as he too reached his high adding his seed to the mess between your thighs. 

Once he stilled, he remained there inside you, pressing open mouth kisses all over your face and neck. You squeezed around him as you preened from his attentions. 

“Have you made up now?” Tech asked turning into the doorway. Crosshair let out an exacerbated sigh rolling over, brining you with him as he pulled the sheet up over the two of you. 

“Yes Tech.” You smiled laying your head down onto Crosshair’s thumping chest. 

“Good.” Tech held up his data pad, “We have twelve more hours until we touch down on Coruscant. I think the others want to talk about the logistics of this rather unorthodox relationship.” 

“Then tell them to come in here.” Crosshair petted the stray hairs on your head down and tucked loose strands behind your ear. 

Tech left and returned with the others including Echo who seemed all too pleased with himself. What a little mischief maker.

“Alright.” Hunter seemed a lot less awkward now having a better idea of how you feel about this whole arrangement, “Obviously this is not allowed under GAR regulations.” 

“When have we ever obeys orders?” Tech said. 

“Never.” Hunter shook his head, “So, obviously this doesn’t leave here.” He gestured to the group, “When we return we’ll have to get fresh implants but when they ask what happened we tell them we crash landed. Pip went through an entire cycle locked in this room and the rest of us had to go trade with locals to get replacement parts.” 

“They’ll smell the mixed scents in here.” Crosshair hugged you to his chest like a little doll. 

“We’ll clean the entire ship before we touch down.” Tech answered. 

“Freaking finally.” You said in relief knowing you’d have help this time. 

“What about her?” Echo pointed to you, “She’s covered in bruises.” 

“Pip encountered hostiles and fought them off, as for the bites we’ll use bacta and hope for the best.” 

“You realize you won’t be able to act any different when we're not alone.” Echo reminded, “You can’t be territorial in any sense. If they even begin to pick up on that, you’ll be decommissioned or she’ll be transferred.” 

They visibly tensed. 

“I don’t think the GAR will think anything strange of us.” Tech reasoned, “We’ve always been unorthodox.” 

“That does play to your advantage.” Echo nodded. 

“Are you okay with this Echo?” You asked hoping your longest friend is emotionally alright with this whole thing. 

“Oh yeah pip.” He smiled, “Just glad you idiots finally did something about this. The tension was palpable.” 

“You’re a meddler you know that?” You laughed. 

“Obviously.” He snarked, “How else am I supposed to entertain myself?” 

“Okay everyone needs to get cleaned up and then we need to start scrubbing this entire vessel down ceiling to floor.” Hunter gave the orders, “Then we need to go back to being one big happy platonic family.” 

You giggled. 

“I think we can manage.” Tech slinked out of the room to hunt down the cleaning supplies. 

“Can you carry me to the fresher?” You asked Crosshair who nodded and helped gather you up in his arms. The two of you walked to the fresher where he helped you out of the dress and into the stall where he turned the water to warm. You stood on wobbly legs letting the water wash away evidence of the boys. You started scrubbing yourself down when Crosshair joined you. It was bit of a squish but you two managed. 

You grabbed the soap again and began washing Crosshair. He gave you an unsure look that made you realize he’s probably never had anyone take care of him like this before. Your heart shattered a bit as you made sure to get his hair all the way down his legs. You always had such sympathy for the clone soldiers. They were barely seen as human from the rest of the galaxy…but not to you. To you they were so much more.

When you were both clean, you stepped out wrapping a towel around yourself securing it before walking back into your old bunk. You had found an old uncomfortable binder you didn’t love and pulled that on, securing it to your breasts, then slid on a pair of panties that the pirates hadn’t raided, but that was it. 

You made sure to throw the red dress into the washer along with all of the boys clothes leaving the entire ship in just their boxers and socks. 

Everything else went into the wash including all the bunk sheets and what remained of your ransacked nest. You had whimpered seeing the state of it. All your hard work and comfort, destroyed. The boys made sure to take care of that mess so you didn’t have to dwell on it for too long. 

Walking out into the main cabin you grabbed the cleaning supplies from Tech and started getting to work helping. 

“Here, mesh’la.” Hunter knelt down to you popping a bacta pill into your mouth for the bruising along with the gel on your skin hoping that the few hours left on board the marauder they’d heal up a bit. You swallowed the pill and let Hunter smear the gel around your neck and ribs. He made sure to change your foot bandages and apply more bacta. Those cuts seem to be healing up nicely to both of your satisfaction.

“Damn girl.” Echo let out a low whistle, “Those uniforms are a crime for hiding all that.” He laughed making you scoff. 

“Prefer the red dress trooper?” You play flirted back. 

“If only I wasn’t 80% cyborg.” He winked at you. 

You giggled going back to your cleaning helping Tech get the crevices you couldn’t reach. 

~~~

You blew a piece of hair out of your face, “Alright Hunter how does it smell?” 

He sniffed the air, “Sterile.” He cringed. 

“Perfect.” Tech gave an approving nod. 

“This ship has never been this clean.” Crosshair looked around at the shiny durasteel. They had cleaned every inch of this space craft, put all the bunks back together to regulation, and scrubbed the Mimban mud from their boots. The damn ship looked fresh off the line.

They had slipped their blacks and armor back on making sure those had been cleaned too. You slinked back into the red dress making sure to secure it to your chest binder hiding your nips better. You also kept the panties on, feeling slightly less vulnerable this time. Not having shoes was still drag. Hopefully you’d be able to get a new pair immediately.

You were trying to figure out how you were going to exit the hatch without turning heads. You realized that would probably be impossible given the circumstances. 

“They’re going to ask questions.” You sighed taking a bite of Echo’s ration bar as you leaned against his console. 

“Well, you definitely catch attention.” He laughed thumbing the fabric. 

“I just want my shoes back.” You groaned, “Do you know how long it took me to break those in?” 

“We’ll all have to get new civvies and blacks.” He reminded, “Do you still have that stash at your place?” 

“I think so. I don’t have any of Crosshairs though.” You gave the sniper an apologetic shrug. He just nodded and went back to cleaning firepuncher. 

“My favorite band t-shirts are gone.” Wrecker whined. You knew show special all their things were to them. And you knew it was hard for them to come by certain items. They didn’t get paid for their service to the republic so clones rarely had personal belongings. A fact that  also made your blood boil. 

“I’ll get you a replacement one, honey.” You smiled. It made Wrecker light up. 

“Think you can finesse those good meals from the medic center?” Echo begged, “I’m craving tip-yip.” 

“Yeah, I’ll get Layla to drop some off when we touch down.”

“Now thats a fox.” Echo smirked taking another bite of the bland bar. 

“I’ll tell her you said so.” 

He leaned back in his chair, “She into cyborgs?” 

“I think Layla’s into everyone.” You played. 

“She had Rex’s boys down bad.” Echo laughed recalling the way they couldn’t shut up about the pretty omega nurse on board Skywalker’s Venator.

“Oh yeah. She had Kix on his knees.” You giggles remembering the way she had him blushing like a virgin in the exam room. Echo laughed. 

“We should get her to do a pin up for the boys!” You suggested. 

“Now thats a plan!” Echo bit his lip. 

“When are we getting a pin up of you sweetheart?” Crosshair interjected. 

“Yeah I want one of those!” Wrecker pounded the table sending Crosshair’s stuff flying. 

“In your dreams boys!” You shook your head. 

They groaned in protest. 

“I still think we should paint you on the hull.” Wrecker pouted. 

“I second that.” Tech voted.

“We’re leaving hyperspace, strap in.” Echo tapped your knee making you stand up from the console, you walked over to your jump seat settling in. 

The others prepared for the sudden stop. 

“On approach.” Tech masterfully steered the ship down towards Coruscant’s surface approaching the GAR docking bay. 

Once cleared, the Marauder was set down gently in an open maintenance stall. 

“Havoc Marauder to service bay, requesting immediate repair.” Tech radioed in. 

“Havoc Marauder are you alright?” The service bay clone asked. 

“Our ship crashed on return to Coruscant, we obtained replacement parts but we need a full service to ensure optimal performance.” Tech informed. 

“Noted. We’ll be sending down mechanics and replacement parts shortly please stand by.” 

“Where’s my med kit?” You suddenly asked looking around at the near empty ship. 

“Stolen.” Hunter shrugged. 

“Dammit.” You sighed, “Chief’s gonna rip me a new one.” 

“That might be the least of our problems.” Tech pointed out the view port. 

As the service team arrived with new engine parts and mechanic droids, General Kenobi and General Skywalker approached with the Coruscant guard in tow. 

“Kark.” You sighed. You all were cooked.

“You wanna go talk to your old General?” Echo nudged you. 

“He was your general too!” You shoved him back. 

“Yeah but you’re prettier!” Echo shoved you to the hatch hitting the disengage, “He’ll be easier on you.” 

You were about to protest when Hunter took the lead stepping down the hatch deciding to just get this conversation out of the way. 

“Generals.” He greeted. The other 99’s marched down the stairs leaving you and Echo to watch from the ship’s view port.

“Sergeant Hunter.” They greeted. 

“Can I help you sir?” You looked to the Coruscant Guard. Their crimson uniforms stood out against the starkness of the hangar bay, “My men have had been through an exhausting ordeal and we’d like to get everything in order before returning to the barracks for some much needed rest.” 

“We were sent by the chancellor to escort you.” General Kenobi said, “He has heard about Kashyyyk and has been eagerly awaiting your return. We haven’t heard from you in two standard weeks.” 

“We were shot down and crashed on Mimban sir.” Hunter sighed, “It took longer than expected to find repair parts.” 

“Where is Tiny?” Skywalker asked, “I can sense her anxiety.” 

“Uhh yeah.” Hunter looked back to the ship, “She’s in there. There was an incident sir.” 

“An incident?” Skywalker’s brows furrowed. 

“She’s alright. A little shook up. But we encountered hostiles who kidnapped her and took her back to their home city. We were able to retrieve her, but then pirates raided our ship and took all of our belongings.” He cleared his throat unsure how to explain the rest… “Pip?” He called. He could hear you sigh before he heard Echo shuffle behind you shoving you out of the hatch with a squeak. 

You stumbled down the stairs trying your hardest to keep your modesty by holding the front and back panels of the dress together pathetically trying not to flash the men. You watched everyone shift uncomfortably seeing you. The head guard respectfully lowered his gaze while Skywalker gawked at you.

 It didn’t help that the wind was trying to expose you like a cruel joke.

“What the fuck is that!” He was being protective again. You two had essentially grown up together. Anakin felt like an older brother to you and you knew he’d be upset.

“Language Anakin.” Kenobi sighed also keeping his gaze away and respectful. 

“Hi, Generals.” You squeaked out feeling incredibly exposed. 

“Do I want to know?” Anakin crossed his arms raising a brow. 

You shook your head looking down at the ground wanting to die on the spot. 

“Here little one.” Kenobi shed his outer robe handing it to you so you could cover up. 

You gratefully took the brown fabric and bundled yourself up. The fabric pooled at your feet.

“Where are your shoes!” Anakin stared at your bandaged feet. His tone remarkably similar to when he’d reprimand Ashoka for something reckless. 

“An old lady took them.” You responded softly. You heard Echo choke back a laugh in the background.

“An old-” He shook his head, “Every time I see you Tiny, it’s something new.” 

You sighed knowing he was right. 

“Sorry Anakin.” You snuggled into Kenobi’s robes a little tighter. 

“It’s not your fault Y/N.” Obi wan gave Anakin with a stern look, “We’re glad you’re okay.” 

“Thank you General.” You always liked the older man, he had such wisdom about him. 

“We should get to the Chancellors office promptly, he’s eager to learn more about the chemical attack.” Kenobi nodded. 

Hunter gestured for you to follow the Generals while the others followed in suit preparing to give their report. You just trotted behind Anakin trying to keep up with his long strides incredibly thankful for Obi wan’s robes. 

“Told you he’d take it better from you.” Echo whispered in your ear. 

“What about that seemed better to you?!” You whispered back. 

“His shock at seeing you distracted him from asking about our short comings.” He smiled evil. 

“Kark hole.” You growled lowly. 

“Shut up, you love me.” He shoved you playfully. 

You just scowled at him as your party arrived at the transport. Hunter held out a hand to help you climb into the ship and the guard guided you to a jump seat on the side while the men filed in holding onto the handle bars above. 

You caught Skywalker eyeing you and you smiled sheepishly. The guard reached down to buckle you in but you stopped him, “I got it trooper.” 

“Apologies ma’am.” He quickly stood up seemingly coming to his senses. 

“No problem.” You have him a smile buckling in yourself. 

Ugh you really need to get your implants in stat. That’s probably why Skywalker is giving you an incredulous look. You realized you probably reek of omega and it’s messing with everyone, probably himself too. 

The transport lifted off and made a beeline for the Senate building. You shivered feeling the cold air rush past you. You had never been so grateful for an article of clothing in your entire life. Obi Wan’s robe was so soft and cozy. 

You caught Tech checking in on you with a casual glance. You gave him a tiny nod as he went back to looking out the side of the ship at the city below. 

“Prepare for docking.” The guard barked out over the engines. 

The ship was quick to dock and you unbuckled, following everyone towards the building. This time, the head guard grabbed you by the waist and lifted you down from the ship setting you down on the concrete. 

Your surprised squeak made your squad whip around to stare. Even the guard seemed shocked at his own actions. 

You just patted his chest plate and continued on trying to prevent a scene. This better go quick or you were going to have a line of alphas trailing after you. You could feel your squad’s eyes burning holes into your back.

“Anything I should know about?” Skywalker bit out quietly into your ear. 

“Nothing you want to know.” You replied, “Trust me.” 

He growled urging you forward keeping a distance between you and the soldiers. 

You could feel everyone’s eyes on you. You wished the Generals had at least given you time to get a new uniform from the stock pile or something. Wearing Jedi robes over a crimson red dress was definitely something that caught looks. 

Essentially every senator and Coruscant guard in passing turned to look and sniff. You just sighed wishing for this to be over and to crawl into your bed back home. 

You wanted to tuck yourself into Hunter’s side for comfort, but you knew that wasn’t going to be an option. Instead you stuck it through, all the way to the Chancellors office despite the incredibly awkward lift ride cramped inside with so many alphas. 

“I think it’s probably better if you wait here Y/N.” Kenobi instructed you to sit on the bench outside the Chancellors office. Knowing he was right, given your inappropriate attire, seeing the Chancellor would be improper. 

You were also thankful to not have to stand there and listen to the recount of the last three months you had just experienced.

The guard stood watch outside the chambers stoic as statues as they flanked the doors. However, the same soldier that had tried to buckle you in walked over to you with a confident stride. 

“You were on Kashyyyk?” He asked.

You nodded. 

“We heard about it through some of the radio chatter, what happened to those men?” He slid off his helmet, “I’m Thorne.” He held out his hand for you to shake. He was handsome. Clean cut to regulation, but you noticed his hair was a little curly on top. Must be a slight defect just like Rex you wondered.

You took his hand, “I’m Y/N, and yeah we were there. We were posted for three months on the front lines. The separatists dropped a chemical bomb that turned the entire camp feral. My squad was just out of range and we were able to get away. Tried to relay the message to the General on site, but we were shot down and ended up falling out of hyperspace onto Mimban.” 

He looked shocked, “Mimban?” 

You nodded, “Been a hell of a tour.” 

“I bet.” He agreed. 

“Have you heard what happened?” You wondered thinking about Wolffe and the others, “We were stranded for so long we haven’t been able to hear anything.” 

“Let me ask the commander.” He spun around to wave over his head officer. 

That was the clone that lifted you out of the transport. 

“This is Fox.” Thorne introduced him, “Fox, this is Y/N.” 

“Hi.” You gave him a polite smile. 

“She was on Kashyyyk, she’s asking about the 104th.” Thorn filled him in. 

“Last I heard they were okay. I guess your message got out and they were able to send in reinforcements.” Fox told you. 

You let out a relived sigh, “Thank the maker.” 

“They crash landed on Mimban.” Thorne added, “Sounds awful.” 

“It was.” 

“What’s with the get up?” Fox pointed to the red. 

“An old lady took my clothes.” You kicked your bandaged feet out showing him the damage, “Pirates took the rest. Got kidnapped by a local war party and was held prisoner in an all women’s encampment. Apparently red is their favorite color.” 

He let out a low whistle, “Can’t say I’d trade places with you.” 

You huffed with a smile. 

“You’re with the 99’s?” Thorn asked. 

“Yeah.” You looked to the closed door wondering how it was going in there. 

“You like them?” Fox asked. 

Your eyes widened, “Oh uh, yeah. Took some warming up to, they’re not used to having outsiders.” Your heart pounded.

“Noticed you were close with General Skywalker.” Fox stated. What is this, twenty questions? You felt like you were in one of their interrogation chambers.

“I was his medic for majority of the war. Transferred after General Tano left the order.” You felt a pang of sadness hit your chest. 

Fox just nodded. You knew about his involvement in the whole drama. You couldn’t blame him, he was just doing his job. However, Anakin didn’t see it that way. Poor alpha just wanted his padawan back. She was almost like a pup to him. It broke his heart. 

“You ever leave here?” You asked looking around at this drab building. 

“Hardly.” Thorn laughed clapping his commander on the back.

“Do you know when they’ll be done?” You asked, “I’d really like to get some real clothes and a hot meal.” 

“Should be soon. I can have a droid bring up some basics for you.” Fox offered. 

You thanked him and let him put the order in, thrilled to get out of this awful outfit. It wasn’t long before a service droid reappeared with women’s black basics and a pair of fresh off the line combat boots. 

“Thank you!” You eagerly took the clothes and disappeared into the women’s facilities. When an ecstatic smile you locked yourself into a stall removing Kenobi’s robe and throwing it over the door along with the strip of red fabric. You slid on the loose pants, fastening them to your waist, along with the black form fitting top. You tucked in the shirt and slid the regulation belt through the loops. Last came the socks and the boots which you could have cried with joy finally having something on your feet again. 

When you were done, you chucked the red fabric into the trash receptacle and neatly folded the Jedi robe. The shoes were stiff but you knew you’d have to break them in regardless. Stepping out of the facilities, the guards turned to watch you re-approach. 

“Better?” Thorn gave you a charming smile. 

“I feel human again. Thank you.” You smiled sitting down again and placing the robe in your lap, “My old commander had a defect, his hair was blonde.” You pointed to his head, “Yours as well?” 

“All my batch mates have it.” Thorn nudged Fox, “Even Mr. Grumps over here.” 

Fox grumbled. Grumpy he was…Probably came with the job.

“Show the pretty lady that handsome mug.” Thorne teased. 

Fox took off his helmet resting it on his hip. He was handsome just like his batch mate except his hair wasn’t as curly at Thorne’s, it was more of a loose wave. He kept the sides cropped neatly but there was something so intriguing about this clone, and familiar… 

You narrowed your eyes inspecting his face. He had a small red tattoo peeking out of his collar which you clocked immediately. 

“I’ve treated you.” You stated gettin this full attention. You pointed to his tattoo. 

“When?” He asked curiously. He clearly was riffling through all of this memories trying to place you. 

“Start of the war.” You remembered, “GAR main medical campus. You came in after an injury on the job, a stab wound here.” You poked his upper thigh, “Run in with a bounty hunter and his knife.”

He looked down at you suddenly remembering you, “You were my nurse.” 

You smiled, “Yeah, you’re an awful patient.” You and Thorne laughed. Fox scowled. You remembered him fighting you at every point in his recovery. It took the patience of a Jedi master to keep yourself collected. You were still new to the GAR and Fox had been one of your first solo patients. 

You smirked remembering something else, “Then you railed my friend in the supply closet.” 

Thorne clapped him on the back, “Atta boy.” 

“She still talks about you.” You teased. 

“Layla, was it?” He was getting more confident. You were starting to see the cockiness Layla had yapped about for weeks come forward. Said he was the best ride she ever had. Fox, apparently, was an extremely dominant alpha. Made Layla knot crazy for what felt like forever. 

You hummed leaning back against the wall. 

Just then the door opened and your squad came out, lead by the Jedi Generals. Fox and Thorne scrambled to put their helmets back on realizing they had gone against regulation… in the senate, while talking to you. 

You stood up thanking Obi wan and placing his folded robe back into his hands. 

“I’m glad they were able to retrieve some more comfortable clothing for you.” Kenobi said opening up his robes and sliding them back onto his shoulder. 

“Me too General.” You replied. Turning to look at your squad, you picked out Hunter, “Sarge?” 

“Yeah Y/N?”

“Are we clear to go home?” You were feeling weary desperately wanting sleep.

“Yeah pip, we are.” 

You nodded suddenly feeling excited to curl up in your bed and stuff yourself with real food. 

“Nuh uh.” Skywalker cut in urging the group to get moving, “We’re getting you to the medics first. You can veg out later.” He must have read your thoughts. That still freaked you out even after serving under him for years.

You sighed knowing there wasn’t any other choice once Anakin made up his mind. His brotherliness was stubborn. 

~~~ 

The ride to the ship hangar wasn’t long. You tried separating from the group to go have your exams taken care of but they all insisted on coming along. This included your squad, Anakin, and the guard. 

“General I don’t think you’re allowed to steal the guard from the senate.” You growled feeling like you were being suffocated, “This is not necessary.” You waved a hand at the overly protective men. 

“Actually Tiny I’ve decided it is.” Anakin crossed his arms, “You’re a ticking time bomb.” 

You felt the anger rising in your chest, “Am not! This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with an expired implant. I’m fine!” 

“Then us coming along shouldn’t be a problem.” He argued. 

“Ugh!” You stormed off towards the medical personnel building, “You’re not even authorized to be in here!” 

“It’s Jedi business!” He strode past you arrogantly. 

“What?! You wanna be in there when they’re poking and prodding me too?” You chased after him, “What is it with you freaking alphas!” 

“I’m just watching out for you.” Anakin sassed using that same old excuse for the millionth time. 

“I don’t need you too!” You stopped and then swerved around to look at your unit who was trailing behind you like a death squad, “I know for a fact you all also need new implants too, and that is over there.” You pointed to the clone treatment center to the right of the medic’s clinic. 

“You heard Skywalker, General’s orders.” Crosshair leered. 

You wanted to scream. Why the hell are they acting like this? Anakin opened the blast door holding it so you could walk through.

“Y/N?” 

Layla’s voice sounded a little worried as she peeked up from behind the desk.

“Hi Layla.” You groused. 

“What’s wrong?” She stood up taking in unnecessary amount of alphas crowding into the space, “Are you okay?” Layla was getting suspicious. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” You snarled, “These karking idiots wont leave me alone.” 

“You’re overdue for your implant, want to go somewhere a little more private?” She eyed the men. 

You nodded and took off down the hall to the exam table on the left. 

Layla followed you in clutching her data pad, “What’s that all about? And why is Fox here?” He raised her brows. You noticed the excitement in Layla’s eyes at the thought of her old fling waiting just on the other side of the divider. 

You began stripping from your blacks to put on a sterile gown. 

“I don’t know.” You whispered, “But keep your voice down the sergeant can hear us.” 

She just nodded. 

“Do you need a full exam?” She asked looking at your neck.

“Yeah.” You replied, “I had a heat while stranded on Mimban.” 

“You were on Mimbam?” She was confused. 

You gave her a loose rendition of the story to fill her in. She just nodded picking up the pregnancy test holding it up for you like a question. You gave her a nod not wanting Hunter to hear a thing. 

She put your legs up in the stirrups and began the exam testing for all kinds of things and injury. You just stared up at the ceiling as she did her job expertly without hurting you too much. 

“I think thats why the General is concerned.” Layla whispered, “He probably knows what happened.” 

“What worries me is he can read minds.” You whispered back letting Layla draw a bead of blood for the pregnancy test, “He started acting weird after the debrief.” 

“But was it good?” She asked biting her lip with a mischievous smile.

You nodded, “It was insane.” You thought back to the last week feeling a jolt of arousal rush to your core thinking about the way the men had pleasured you.

“What is taking so long?” Anakin’s booming voice sounded from the other side of the curtain. 

“Karking maker Anakin!” You screamed, “She’s literally digging around inside me, leave me alone!” 

You heard a shuffling letting you know Anakin was leaving you two again. 

Layla placed the various tests into the correct machines before grabbing her implant injector. Just like she had the last time, she plunged the tool into your shoulder injecting you with the pill. 

“Should take a few hours to kick in.” She reminded, “As for everything else you’re clear. Healthy as a can be.” She silently held up the negative pregnancy test results. Thank the maker. 

She uploaded the data to your profile before helping you down the table. You redressed and gathered yourself before stepping out into the hall. Layla pushed the curtain all the way back following behind you, “Make sure to eat something. You’re skinnier than last time I saw you.” She handed you a copy of the report. 

“How much skinnier?” Anakin interrogated. 

You grabbed the data pad and shoved it into his chest, “How about you just read it yourself since you’re so invested.” 

He took the tablet from you and to his credit he did actually read it. You watched him scan for the answer he was so desperately looking for and when he saw the big fat NEGATIVE next to pregnancy test he let out a relived sigh. 

Now you knew he knew, and this proved it. But you know Anakin, luckily he’d never tell a soul. Protective as he may be, he also knew not everything needs to be reported to the higher ups. 

“Satisfied?” You snatched back the tablet handing it to Layla, “Can I be dismissed now, General?” 

He just nodded, “You’re dismissed.” 

Without another word you left the clinic leaving everyone behind. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Bahaha Echo finally spilled that hot tea. Mama Echo lives for the chaos.

Taglist: @substantial-exposure

@rains-on-kamino

@minimissmoo

@z-and-the-batboys

@aynavaano

@9902sgirl

@sideofhorny

[nanamisbitch]

Hii new account!! So um I wanted if you could like write the jjk men when you ask them out! Please and thank youuu !! 💗💗

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Jujutsu kaisen men when: you ask them out ♡

⊹ ࣪ ˖ features : gojo, geto, nanami, Megumi, yuji, yuta, ino ♡

------------------------------------------------------------

P.s. thank you anon!! Omg definitely wasn't expecting my first req to come 40 mins after my guidelines!! Also if the content seems a bit disconnected please let me know. But yeah hope you like it! (It's my first write please be merciful (also critiques are always appreciated just don't be mean love ♡))

⤷G. Satoru

He definitely knew you had a crush on him. I mean who wouldn't! He's THE gojo satoru. And guess what ? He had a crush on you too! In the beginning he denied his feelings, but gradually (as he got to his senses🙄) he realised he had feelings for you. That meant even more teasing than usual, accidentally brushing his hands against yours, accidentally bumping into you in the hallway, accidentally grazing your shoulder etc. He would start subtly flirting with you dropping compliments here and there, just to see your reaction and tease you about it.

Soon after you realised that you liked him (too). But still you were still oblivious to the very obvious hints he was dropping to you! He thought you looked adorable the way you blushed even further now! Yet the way you didn't pick up on the hints he left you, annoyed him. BUT he's not giving up because he's THE gojo satoru 💪. He started straight up flirting with you to the point you'd be a blushing mess, only for shoko to shoo him away.

But when you finally do confess, internally he's doing a hip-hip hooray! But externally he's teasing you, "ohhh of course you have a crush on meeee~ you're absolutely lovesick heh~ I'm so handsome 'uff' it's so exhaustinggg~" you will have to smack his shoulder to quit him from teasing you, he's just gonna chuckle and confess VERY CASUALLY that he likes you too.

He'll take you out on a date to a cute pastry shop and then happily ever after~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

⤷G. Suguru

He tries to ignore the fact that he likes you but eventually he accepts it. He hides it pretty well but eventually the six eyed idiot finds out and teases the hell out of geto.

Ever since the day geto realised his feelings for you, he WILL find every excuse in the damn book to slyly hang out with you more. Means more hanging out with him! Also like his boyfriend (toru), he will most definitely tease you a lot if not more than gojo. Hiding all your stuff like books, glasses, phone etc. Also gives you a crap ton of princess treatment, for example if you're going shopping with shoko and utahime he will not let you lift a single bag, saying stuff like "you're too small lol".

And somehow SOMEHOW you end up having feelings for him. When you start getting flustered when he helps you out or when he teases you, he definitely notices just because he's observant in general. He'll end up teasing you more😒. Always says "oh do you have a crush on me?" "you must have a crush on me, why else would you be acting this way" "do I make you nervous? Ha it’s ‘cause you have a crush on me"

He wants you to admit you have feelings for him before he does himself, it’s part not wanting to face possible rejection part because he likes to see your flustered and annoyed face.

So when you ask him out for lunch, slightly annoyed he got it his way pouty, he's really happy. But of course he'll tease you about it, BUT he didn't deny the offer!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

⤷N. Kento

He didn't think he could be capable of feeling such things. But you, oh you, you barged through the gates of his heart and decided to settle there until the end of time. The moment he sees you his whole being fills with joy. He'd be blushing even when you're just saying a simple "hi kento!". So yes he's head over heels for you. He memorizes all your favourite things : your favourite song, dessert, season, you get the idea. Complimenting you subtly here and there.

Somewhere along the way you fell for him too. The way he was cool headed, respectful, caring and the list goes on...so you decided it's now or never.

The moment you confessed, kento felt such immense happiness, something he had never felt but that all was done internally. "Oh I'm glad you feel this way about me [name]. If I'm being honest I've felt the same too for a long time.......if you wouldn't mind, would you like to go out for dinner sometime, whenever you're free".

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

A/n: yesss nanami's was short (he's my favourite) please don't mind ! I will be writing more lengthy pieces IF DESIRED but otherwise yeah uh hope you liked it !

©nanami's bitch 2024 do not modify, repost, translate on any platform

[esamastation]

Part fifty-four of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three

-

Now, Reno could be an impartial observer about this. He probably should be. Just do his job, sign his report, hand over his duty to someone else, and wash his hands of the whole mess.

But on the other hand, "So. Flying, huh?"

Sephiroth has the gall to look sheepish about it. He is actually fucking blushing. "Well. That's not exactly it, but, yes? Is that a problem?"

Reno eyes him flatly for a moment. Then he shrugs. "Hell if I know. You know, for a while there I thought you were actually trying to keep your magical metamorphosis thing down low, but you just don't give a fuck, do you?" It's kinda impressive, really.

"Um," Sephiroth answers, and takes a dainty little sip of his tea.

Reno snorts. "You're something else," he says and falls to sit across from him on the other side of the tiny little tea table. Then he looks around.

They're alone in the main hall of the safehouse. Hewley and Rude are out picking up Tseng from the town, and it's just him and Mr. No Gravity, and Reno doesn't mind admitting he might actually miss the place. It's still hilarious that Sephiroth turns into a prissy princess when it comes to decor, but Reno can't say he doesn't know what he's on about.

He actually made the place really nice, for an abandoned house. As safehouses went, it was up there.

Sephiroth watches him curiously. "Looking forward to returning to Midgar?"

"God, yes," Reno says emphatically. "I'm going to find the nearest Pilferer's, and I'm going to forget all about your… everything."

"Pilferer's?"

"It's a chain of pubs," Reno explains, waving a hand. "Shit beer for cheap, good for one thing only."

"Ah," Sephiroth huffs in amused offence. "I'm not that bad, surely."

Well, no. Reno once had to act as Scarlet's bodyguard - that is still the worst assignment he's ever had. This doesn't come even close. But… "I don't know, man. You're kinda weird."

Sephiroth blinks at that, and Reno grimaces looking away. Sephiroth it's also kinda terrifying, even like this. Actually maybe especially like this. After his training sessions and meditations Sephiroth is all relaxed and cosy - it's probably the safest he is to be around, but it's weird.

It really brings home the fact that the guy is different from what he was. Even without Hewley there to react to it, you can tell. Sephiroth is someone else these days, and his shitty lying aside, none of them actually know him. And the guy isn't that keen on explaining.

… You know what, fuck it. Reno's out of here by the end of the evening anyway. "Are you ever going to explain what the hell is going on to anyone, or are we going to have to keep on guessing?" he asks.

Sephiroth hums, noncommittal.

"Because dude, it's going to have consequences in the long run. If not for you, then for the other SOLDIERs," Reno points out. "You know that, right?"

That makes the guy react with more than demure deflection, and Sephiroth lowers his cup. "Consequences like what?"

"Oh, you know, life-altering experiments in all the worst ways?" Reno asks and points a finger at him. "You realise what this all looks like from the outside, right? You get a deadly dose of Mako and boom, new abilities? You can be sure they're going to try to recreate those results."

Sephiroth frowns at that, looking down. He taps his finger against the tea cup for a moment and then shrugs. "I don't see what there is that I can do about that," he says and looks up at Reno pointedly. "First sign of trouble, and you ferried me out of Midgar, I assumed it was to get me out of the way."

"Well, yeah. For a reason," Reno shrugs and leans back a little. Fuck, the Mako shine is spooky when it's aimed at you like this, in dim light where you can tell the guy's eyes are actually emitting their own glow. "Seemed kinda necessary to keep you from going berserk again and killing someone important. Like Professor Hojo."

Sephiroth makes a funny sort of face at that, and sips his tea. From scary to embarrassed. Yay.

Never mind, Reno isn't going to miss this place at all. "Fuck it, whatever. I don't care," he decides. "Soon you'll be Tseng's problem, and I won't waste another moment thinking about you."

"I am hurt and heartbroken," Sephiroth says blandly and snorts at the face Reno makes at him. "You have been a most pleasant babysitter, Reno of the Turks. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to get to know you."

"Oh, put a cork in it."

"No, I'm serious," Sephiroth says. "I've always found the Turks to be intriguing. Your… work ethics are almost admirable."

Reno eyes him dubiously. "You're fucking with me."

Sephiroth grins, clasping the little tea cup loosely between both hands. "Not at all. There's a core of morals that runs through your agency that I find fascinating. The scary, underhanded enforcers and spies of Shinra - hiding just enough of a shred of decency to make you… rational. Practical and yet, strangely, sympathetic."

Reno gapes at him. What the fuck - where the hell did that come from?

Sephiroth chuckles at his expression. "I think I would quite like you, if the circumstances were different," he muses and pours himself another cup of tea.

Reno feels like objecting. He can feel his cheeks heating up. "You are absolutely fucking with me."

Sephiroth grins a little wider at that, and - damn, the guy's smiles are kinda devastating. Reno had been carefully not noticing, because, hello, job, but damn. Who the hell made this guy so hot? His lips are insanely pretty.

Reno is suddenly very aware that it's been a while since he last got laid and that he really desperately needs a drink. 

"Tseng is originally from Wutai, isn't he?"

"Wha?"

Sephiroth arches his brows and tilts his head. A stand of silver hair slides across his shoulder. "Tseng. Is he from Wutai?"

Reno thought he'd gotten used to the fancy dress shirts - and hell, Sephiroth had his chest pretty much completely bared before! Why the hell are just two buttons undone so sexy all of a sudden?!

"Oh, um. Yeah?" Reno agrees and clears his throat, shaking his head. Don't look at his collarbones. "He knows the lay of the land better anyway, so, you know, if your little soiree with the Wutai Captain has a follow up, he'll probably know what's up." … Uh.

Sephiroth gives him that slow blink again, and Reno doesn't blame him - it sounds like complete nonsense to him too.

Damn it, get it together, man, the guy isn't that fuckable!

… Except that he really, really is, and Reno wishes he could go back to professionally not noticing it.

"That's good, I suppose," Sephiroth says slowly. "I'll be looking forward to hearing his insights."

"Yeah, yeah, sure…" Tseng also knows more about Ancients than anyone not dead or in the Science Department, so whatever is going on with Sephiroth, Tseng would be able to figure it out. Probably.

Reno looks at Sephiroth's stupidly pretty face and then clears his throat. "Well, it's been - different. Let's never do it again. Try not to go nuts and kill any important scientists in the future, okay?"

Sephiroth looks away, his eyes going a little distant. "... No promises," he murmurs. Except coming from him, it's more of a purr, isn't it?

Fuuuck, Reno really needs to get out of here.

It's probably a good thing Tseng seems to kinda dislike Sephiroth for some reason. He wouldn't have this problem.

-

Get **** beamed.

[zvezdacito]

// TWST Book 7 spoilers, thoughts of Malleus's writing as a character

So I was reading some other people's opinions on why some people consider Malleus overrated/annoying, and tbh this makes me really sad. The general consensus is that a lot of people fixate on certain sides and can only see him as one extreme or the other and it results in many ppl thinking a watered down version of his character is how he is in canon.

I feel that its such a shame because he's the most interesting, compelling and well-rounded take on his character archetype I've seen.

From my observation, usually they kinda make this archetype (the broody misunderstood 'everyone fears him like a monster except for one special person') someone you can't take that seriously, because of how his struggle usually kind of written in a way where everyone involved feel less like actual fully fledged original characters and really just one note tropes interacting with other one note tropes.

To elaborate: What i mean when i say this is usually ppl who hate him kind of just do because of plot requires them to and to show how all their haters are "normies" who can't get him because 'he's not like everyone else'. The misunderstood guy still usually has toxic personality issues but the story really tends to make it feel like they don't fear him for that but because they're shallow and have prejudice to ppl like him, so his personality issues are not framed as wrong or character flaws.

I don't think there's anything inherenrly wrong or mediocre with the "one special person who gives him a chance before anyone else" trope like I'm literally a Malleyuu enjoyer lol but like i said its all in the execution cause otherwise it fails to be compelling and believable. Usually in the poorly written version of this trope the guy doesn't undergo any character development other than showing more emotion and kindess to his partner because they melted his ice I guess so it really makes his whole character feel like its revolves around the sake of romance and fanservice.

Malleus doesn't fall into this trap in my opinion because his situation despite how fantastical it is, the way he was written makes it believable as to why everything is the way it is with him, and it also challenges the viewer if they would be able to say they wouldn't fear him too in that situation.

"We're gonna give you this character who everyone sees as a monster and show you deep down he just wants the same love as everyone else, making you contemplate changing judgement on him. He wants to prove this, but his way of going about it always inadvertently harms others."

"You know where hes coming from and if he had that social connection to give him a better understanding of others this wouldn't be happening, but its also equally understandable that the people hes trying to connect with don't deserve this and fear him even more after this, trapping him in a cycle of isolation."

"Given his track record, do you go about giving him a chance or just considering the repeatedly proven danger he brings. With the valid reasons of both parties, can you really say he isn't a monster and demand that 'if only people be near him'?"

There's just such a tragic and thought-provoking dilemma to his character that adds so many layers that makes him so good.

As omniscient viewers we have the benefit of seeing what he's going through form his POV so we can sympathize with him and understand that he thinks what he's doing is the best course of action and he's just trying to create a "win for everyone" situation.

But also everything he does ironically reaffirms everyone's fear and distrust of someone like him. No one can deny he has a tendency to cause further destruction when he tries to do something "good", examples including: past Briar Valley lantern lighting fire, the Halloween 2 ghost world party, and now his Sleeping Curse stunt in Book 7 Part 2 (they really emphasize this by making the spoken name of his UM basically mean "Malicious Fairy" but have its written name used to convey what its meant to mean be "Blessing").

↑ Given this, it honestly makes sense others, especially those who don't know him all that well, would just expect the worst when he's around already, and you wouldn't be able to blame them for that given the track record. It doesn't help that this impression is worsened since he tends to cause misunderstandings due to his lack of familiarity with human social cues.

Alongside the bias and preconceived notions from his status and reputation, they also make a point on how his personality flaws are still also a huge factor in pushing people away, such as not being able to see things through the perspective of others.

He also holds a subconcious belief due to what has been ingrained in him since childhood as a Draconia and the next in line that because he's superior to others at certain things, he has the right and responsibility to decide on what will protect and help them, disregarding the individual values/priorities of human beings and leading him to take reckless and destructive action with good intentions.

His upbringing, character strengths and character flaws are all realistically connected to each other and the way they are subtly shown to be ever-present in defining his decisions, goals and thoughts throughout the whole story. So we don't really need to have a character go out of their way to exposition this to us this word for word just so we can understand and believe it.

Moving onto something slightly more lighthearted, I really also like how dorky Malleus surprisingly was. Other similar characters in the archetype I usually see don't really have any hobbies, interests, or quirks outside of being a broody authority figure, which might've been appealing to some at first but it really just gets stale and boring after a while.

This should be the bare minimum in making a fleshed out and interesting character so maybe i sound like im giving them too much credit for pointing it out😭 But yeah compared to the other examples it's good that Malleus has his Tamagotchi and Gargoyle interests it makes him feel like a believable person who has his own life going on too (with the bonus that these interests are also metaphors for aspects of his character). The gap moe adds an endearing side to him, and makes the gap between his intent and impact of his actions even more tragic. It wouldn't hit the same without this side.

(^ Forgot how the exact quote goes, but it basically said dark stories are more effective when there are moments of genuine happiness and good in them, compared to if it was always just grim and edgy. The former increases the stakes and tragedy because you have something you to care about losing, while for the latter there is nothing for you to care about so nothing the story does really matters. Same logic applies to Malleus)

Overall, it's just like an unfortunate incompatibility of goals and circumstances, which is what TWST is all about. Another thing I want to say is out of all the characters, I feel like Malleus is the one who is the ultimate embodiment of TWST's main themes:

-> How it's not about "hero" vs "villain" just differing circumstances crossing paths and clashing because of how people on either side have their own complex perspective and dreams they want to realize

-> And how connection and finding community is important to find people who will help you make up for what you lack in reaching your goals and to better understand all the factors that caused the situation in the first place.

As if seeing yourself reflected in a mirror, the more you get to know the people around you, you realize in many ways you are actually quite alike, and through understanding others you could also possibly better understand certain aspects of yourself. It's sort of encouraging you to do the opposite of dehumanizing others and yourself, which is something Malleus has most evidently internalized.

So yeah this was so long😭 I had a lot I wanted to say since Malleus is my favorite TWST character. Idk if I missed anything or if i managed to express my thoughts in a cohesive way but yeah. I kinda go into a rage whenever I see the worst takes ever be put out about his character but tbh sometimes I can't completely blame others since fandom trends and the convenience of simplifying things into tropes can warp your perception of a character and what you associate with them.

Also sometimes twst doesn't do a good job with utilizing his character like Book 5 where he got turned into a deus ex machina and Halloween 2 where they killed any hype and intrigue for the plot we had at the beginning through the ending reveal and gave the worst justification ever for Malleus and Lilia's actions ever.

Regardless, I hope more people manage to move past this and appreciate his character for what it really is soon though. He's an amazingly tragic character; a lot of thought was put into how his experiences, strengths and weaknesses would convincingly connect, and he represents something relevant in the story's plot and themes.

The fact that I've seen some people unironically believe that Malleus may just be faking his cluelessness of social cues to hide his "true evil" is evidence to how convincing his character's situation is, that even some in the audience who know more about him than the characters would still end up in the same place of doubt and distrust of Malleus because of what he's capable of.

Aight thank you for reading👍

[arkhamjack]

Thank you everyone for the reblogs on my "how some of the fandom sees wolfwood vs how I see him" lol I wanted to continue the conversation bc I am very annoying about this stuff and it grosses me out bc I am sensitive or whatever but um yeah 🤓

It's pretty long so TL;DR stop being weird about Wolfwood thanks 👍

I'll talking about objectification, hypersexualisation, and prejudice so a warning I guess --->

The Gaze has been working overtime on Wolfwood's ass (and tits) and it's making me a little nuts. This is not to say his character cannot be presented in a sexy way, or that he cannot perform sexuality without being problematic, it's just... ask yourself: why.

It can be subconscious, you might not even notice it, but media tropes have a way of worming into people's brains to be regurgitated into fan art, especially if the character presents or is coded marginalised in a way you are not. (I do it too!)

It starts from young. I had an adult call me a "hot head Latina" as a child LMAO (I am not even Latin)

Characters and actors that looked like me were worked into typically these roles - If feminine, desired, sexy but crazy, dangerous. If masculine, similarly sexual, either hot or ugly, suspicious.

I feel silly and attention-seeking for speaking up about this kind of stuff, especially as I feel I'm not in a place to cry 'racism' specifically because I'm more 'ethnic' than POC.

I'm a Balkan mongrel - Greek, bits from Turkey, Albania, and fuck knows what else. I've always kept my head down about people being weird to me but it comes to a point like the point of a classmate comparing my hair to an animal's, where I feel I gotta go "ok yeah lets unpack that."

Now about Wolfwood, he's our classic racially/ethnically ambiguous smoky sexy guy. Particularly in the 98 anime, he's pretty bosomy. He's a struggler - swindling Gunsmoke with his charm and portable confessional. This swindler trope, I've observed, tends to go hand in hand with 'suspicious immigrant out for your money'. Again, maybe I've pulled that out my ass and I'm being oversensitive, but I notice things. Tastes left in my mouth. Anyway. Brings to mind the time some other classmate jokingly called me a 'hustler' for *checks notes* making sure my work is submitted on time.??

Now on the subject of NSFW fanart... oh boy I am so uncomfy writing this... I rarely see him depicted.. receiving. You can place the issues here pretty easily. Give him a break. Please. Also I did note this on my original post and also completely my own opinion but PLEASE that man is not bigger than Vash, and I don't mean like not taller, like, thiccer. Calm the fuck down.

I hate having to write this bc it makes me uncomfy and reflects my own experiences of objectification by other people which sounds all very "oh noo its sooo hard being attractive :'((" but I trust y'all smart enough to see where I'm coming from.

The gaze. Othering. Marginalised masculinity (not to mention my intersecting trans identity thats a whole other unrelated convo). Hypersexualisation. Objectification.

But back to Wolfwood!! - are these tropes perpetuated by the original creator? Personally, I don't think so. (Wolfwood's design is based off a Japanese guy btw - musician Tortoise Matsumoto) The 98 anime? Maybe?? Am I reading too much into it? It's hard not to - naturally I'll latch onto the ambiguous guy and go "alright let's see how they do this" so naturally certain things stand out to me.

But when some of that fanart starts rolling out ... Jesus Christ ... MY EYES

On the flipside, I've seen great fanart out there! And I've seen quite a few Latino headcanons for Wolfwood too!(like I mentioned before I am not Latin, I am also not American in general I am a filthy freak Australian with our own colonial racist histories and intricacies) (There is also Latin diaspora here but I don't wanna speak for anyone aaaah)

I'd like to think most of the fandom is cool about him. But um. Yeah.

I said what I said but if I did say anything out of line I am so sorry and PLEASE let me know - I am using my own experiences as reference and acknowledge the intricacies my own privilege

Yap session over 👍

[authorautism]

Always on my Mind

Summary: Bakugou x GN!Reader soulmate au where soulmates are able to share thoughts but are censored/restrained prior to their meeting. Reader has always spoken to their soulmate and with their shared goal of getting into UA they hope to meet and truly fall in love.

Word count: 2.7K

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Hints of injuries

"Mommy! Daddy! Look look look what I can do!"

a young child yelled eagerly running towards their parents in the kitchen only 4 years old today their quirk had finally manifested. In the palm of their left hand lay a single glass marble clear with a stripe of red raising their free hand they focus and slowly the marble lifts out of their hand. "Oh wow baby you have Gran's quirk we're so proud." Their mom says bending down to observe as the marble falls back into their palm.

"Yeah seems it skipped a generation that's so great honey," their dad adds setting down the support gear he was tinkering with. "Are you gonna be a hero like Gran and your mom?" He asks.

"Nope, I wanna be like you Daddy. I wanna make cool laser to help Mommy like you do." They proclaim happily. Mom turns a playful glare to dad who is quick to defend himself, "I don't make that many laser I promise." They all laugh as slowly time skips forward.

It had been only a year since then and everyday you made time to practice your quirk as much as your small body could handle learning from Gran how to use you telekinesis and the limits of it, unlike your Gran you could barely lift heavy things at all so that meant flying and levitating was off the table. But it was during one such time as you were making the tv remote fly that you heard thoughts in a voice that wasn't your own.

'this is so lame i didn't do anything wrong'

Eyes widening I run to find my Daddy and Gran in the living room Gran is watching her soaps half awake while Daddy is reading a magazine.

"I've gone crazy from using my quirk!!!" I cry tears welling in my eyes, "Hey woah sweetie what do you mean?" Daddy asks setting his magazine down on the coffee table and Gran jolts into focus turning down her shows volume.

'WHO THE HELL IS YELLING?'

"I hear a voice I'm crazy!" "Oh dear don't worry that's just your soulmate." Daddy explains patting my head a smile on his face from enjoying my torment. "Ha you two forget to tell them." Gran chortles turning up her soap now that she knows there's no danger present.

"Me and Mommy have been too busy to explain, but the voice you're hearing in your head is your soulmates. Or rather their thoughts." Daddy explains as he picks me up to sit in his lap, "So don't worry my dear because your soulmate is sorta like a best friend but more."

"Are you and Mommy soulmates?" I ask beginning to understand what Daddy was explaining. "Yes, in fact I just told her what happened and she's laughing" Daddy says having closed his eyes briefly as if willing the thought to Mommy. "Tell her its not nice to laugh at her own child!" "Ha ok I will sweetheart, why don't you go talk to your new soulmate?" Daddy says setting me down on my feet the whole time I was listening to the whispers of my soulmates thoughts to quiet to hear but present still.

"Ok." With that I return to my room and sit down at my desk where i had been practicing my quirk.

'Um, Hi my Daddy said you're my soulmate my names ---'

'huh? whatever you said i couldn't hear. whatever my mom said the same this is annoying.'

'I don't think this is annoying actually I'm excited! Its like having an imaginary friend that's all my own but you're real and just far away y'know!'

'i guess but i don't even know your name or nothing. plus what if you're some weirdo huh?'

'Well I could say the very same for you! Plus it's already too late I claim you as my friend and you cant change that so haha ha!'

'ha well fine then don't be annoying i'm gonna be an awesome hero some day so you can't get in my way'

'Well then I'll make all your gear like my Daddy does for my mom so you have to hang out with me!'

'fine, but only because i want friends that aren't weak losers like deku.'

With that promise me and my soulmate Soul as I had nicknamed him talked all the time, I learned about Deku or rather Izuku his childhood friend that was quirkless and scolded him for being such a meanie to Zuzu. Often forcing him to convey my words to Zuzu so that I could be friends with him too. He sometimes did the same especially when it came to the rowdy boys in my class, even though I can handle them myself! But slowly the years passed, both of us training our quirks and sharing small moments of our thoughts. We both learned how to block out one another when need be such as on tests where we wanted to focus.

"Try and keep up Deku." Katsuki shouts leading the shorter male towards the playground. Katsuki using the play structure to dull the sounds of his small explosions as he practices his quirk. Truthfully the only reason he brought the boy was at his soulmates request.

'You really gotta stop pretending you bring Zuzu along just for me Soul, we both know you like how he praises you for your quirk control.'

'whatever.'

"Ah sorry Kacchan, I was distracted." Izuku said sprinting to catch up quickly. "Oh I almost forgot to say hi to your soulmate."

"Whatever they say hi back, ugh Zuzu. Such a stupid nickname." Katsuki groans lighting his palms with tiny explosions. "Hurry up I need to practice before it gets dark and our mom's come looking for us."

"Right, sorry Kacchan, oh Gear you said you were practicing too today?" Izuku asks. He often made conversation through Katsuki rather to said boy which was often considered strange to others. As it's very uncommon for the bond to be used this way before soulmates meet.

'Yeah, I took apart Mom's straightener and Dad had to fix it haha.'

"Of course they did Deku neither of us are slackers after all, why are you asking such dumb questions?"

"Sorry I just, I have another question for you Gear." Izuku stops walking causing Katsuki to pauses too annoyed with the stopping.

Tears gather in the shorter males eyes, "D-do you think, that even though I'm quirkless I can be a hero?" He asks the tears now slowly falling as Katsuki's eyes widen.

'Soul don't say that you know you both have the same dream. So say exactly what I'm saying or gonna be super duper mad at you!'

"Deku- I mean Zuzu what they want to say to you is that the believe in you. Maybe not all quirkless people can become heros, I mean they have a quirk and they're not gonna be a hero but even still they think you can be a hero. I mean not as good as a one as me but whatever." Izuku smiles hugging Kacchan who begrudgingly lets it happen only because he knows its what his soulmate would want. And maybe he kinda sorta does wanna make them happy deep down even if he has to deal with crybaby Deku.

'Finally free!' I laugh along to my thoughts leaving the school for a final time. 'It all really flew by huh?'

'yeah next is ua for us' Soul every cocky replies remarking that he sees Deku leaving at the same time. 'Oh, I wanna say bye to Zuzu come one Soul.' He huffs but as always obliges me fake begrudgingly.

"Oh hey Kacchan. Did your soulmate wanna talk to me?" Izuku asks ever clever it's why I had forced Soul to let me be friend him, and like usual the name he calls Soul is blocked out.

"Of course they do, dunno why they always wanna talk to a useless nerd like you." Soul says 'hey be nice to Zuz!' I scold him making him grumble.

"Whatever, they just wanted to say bye and, ugh really? FINE, and Goodluck." Katsuki grumbles the last bit with an angry expression. "Ah I forgot they're also applying to U.a. with us-" "Not with US with me damn nerd." Katsuki cuts off Izuku with a glare. "But whatever you-- what fine I won't say the TRUTH. Anyways we gotta go bye nerd." With that Katsuki leaves Izuku waving over his shoulder.

'gonna take the shortcut, need to start my summer training quickly.'

'Yeah yeah, always busy Soul but be careful remember what your mom said about villains in the area.'

'i'd blow up and damn villain before it even touched me just wait!'

So Katsuki walked home taking the shifty alleyway just as he said unaware of the slime villain that hide from his sight only to strike now.

'FUCK'

'Soul? What's happening?!' Worry brewed in your chest sure it wasn't unusual for Soul to swear but, but not like this.

'GET THIS SHIT OFF ME! I-I CAN'T BREATHE!' With that I'm cut off from Soul. Blood thunders in my veins I can't hear Gran's soaps or Dad's tinkering I can't hear anything but my own thundering heart, I'm frozen in place fear coiling around me.

'I CAN'T LOSE HIM'

Even as my thoughts turn frantic there's nothing I can do helplessly waiting for anything. After way too long for comfort I get something from Soul 'I CAN'T BELIEVE--' its anger not at me but yet still it fills me with relief 'I was so worried!' But just as quickly I'm cut off though this time its different intentional this continues for days, slowly into months only getting glimpses of his thoughts when his barrier slips slightly. I always offer kind words of what I hope is comfort whenever I can.

Till finally it's the day of the entrance exams or rather the recommendation entrance exams, my Dad having given me one as a well know support item making and an alumni of U.A. I felt out of place around these would be heroes and rich kids but soon it's my turn to shine. I had brought in several small items to showcase my quirk and my own skills. A hair dryer and invention I was working on and the heaviest thing I could find that I could lift with my quirk.

"Ah, you have telekinesis like your grandmother on your mother's side, yet you're following in your dad's footsteps?" The Principle asks with a grin. "Correct sir, thought its the same as my Grans" I say slowly lifting the heaviest item and trying to not let the strain show on my face, "I am able to apply it to support items better." Now I raise the hair dryer into the air focusing on each individual part as slowly its separated into all of its small components hanging in mid air.

"Impressive don't you think Aizawa?" The Principle asks the man in a bright yellow sleeping bag. "So your quirk is more suited towards detail work?" Aizawa asks intrigue in his tired gaze.

'I've got them hook line and sinker now.' Despite the silence I try and involve Soul.

"Yes I can take a part any item so long as I can lift it with my telekinesis and just as quickly--" I snap my fingers and the hair dryer reassembles instantly, "I can reassemble it too." I finish a grin on my face. "As expected from your mother and father, you can expect your letter in the mail soon good job." With that the Principle dismisses me others seem shocked and intrigued as I can't help but grin taking my props with me.

'I did it Soul so you can't fail either!'

'you know i won't idiot.' Eyes widening at his response and I smile wide.

'Good to finally hear from you, I missed you y'know...'

'even though you're annoying i guess i missed you too. i just had a lot of shit to deal with but im back now for good so don't worry yeah.'

'Ok I trust you Soul so know you can trust me too with anything on your mind!'

'yeah yeah i know just don't mention it ok i'll tell you later.'

Walking home with glee I tell my Mom, Dad and Gran the news that I'm probably in already. Being congratulated and warned to not jinx it I slowly unwind getting ready for bed.

Laying look at the ceiling anxiously today was the day well more the morning of our first day. So anxious was practically an understatement I would maybe meet Soul today and yet here I lay frozen in bed.

'are you really that nervous?'

'Yes, I know we've both been working towards this for so so long but, I just...'

'get up. get ready and we won't plan it if we meet by chance today then we meet if we don't that's fine. so stop stressing gearhead our you'll be late.'

Smiling and feeling more confident I get ready for the day. I get well wishes from my family and a knowing look from my mom who leaves with me. We now take the same train to get to work and school.

"Are you excited?" She asks as we walk to the train station.

"Sorta school I know but this is new Soul said we can let our meeting be organic and we don't have to meet today." I explain.

"That's good me and your dad did that actually he was so nervous that it made my hands shake." My mom laughs smiling and no doubt receiving a scolding from my dad in her mind. "But it was good I scared him when I saw him."

"How did you know it was him?"

"Well dear I just knew it was something I knew like breathing and then I clung to him for a whole day straight." My mom finishes with a laugh a smile on her face as we approach the train station.

"Wow a whole day? You really are clingy Mom." I laugh.

"So you'll do fine kid alright."

With that me and my mom parted ways into different train cars so I could face my first day. The ride was uneventful making it to class about fifteen minutes early. I change into my school shoes and look for my class, passing by a rather loud classroom labeled 1-A, none the wiser of what lay inside. Assemblies and meeting classmates and teachers await me this Mei girl seems to be at my level as we chat with one another. Days continue on like that almost in a trance me and Soul still speak to one another in fleeting exchanges but I can tell there's something missing.

'i have a fieldtrip today.'

'Ooh, are you excited Soul? I haven't gone to one with UA yet so you'll have to tell me how it goes.'

'sure, sure. its just a boring search and rescue thing.'

'Still it sounds so exciting I just have normal classes then lab time today.'

'how's the invention coming along?'

'Good! I'm excited to begin testing today actually.'

'hopefully you don't blow it up again idiot.'

'HEY, that wasn't even my fault I shouldn't have let Mei tinker with my baby after all!'

'pfft whatever, i gotta head to class so we can go on this fieldtrip now. maybe i'll see you today...'

'Ha, maybe yeah.'

With that I start another day. Until we're being evacuated from campus due to a nearby villain attack at the place Soul just said he was going. Fear and panic fill my chest was something going to happen to him? Was he going to get hurt or even die before I even got the chance to meet him? Tears well in my eyes but I feel paralyzed stand in the classroom as people start getting their things and clearing out.

"Hey, are you with me now?" Mei asks shaking my shoulder.

"M-my soulmate's in that class..."

"Hey, its going to be ok Almight's on his way over and there was already two proheros there." She tries to reassure me as we both grab my things and leave the school. Mei takes me to a cafe hoping to calm me down a little.

"Pass me your phone I'm gonna text your parents ok?" Wordlessly I hand it over.

'hey, soulmate or whatever don't freak out ok... no matter what I'm going to fight to meet you ok? so just you fucking wait for me!'

[writingpracticetime]

Did you have any thoughts, story-wise, on what Sandy herself thinks of all this and what her circumstances are? There are of course the inferences that can be made from that letter she got sent (and more specifically that it was turned over unopened) but is/was she in the public eye? Is she kept under close observation in case Constructor/Architect tries to approach her directly, and so on?

Oh I absolutely do have story thoughts about Sandy's opinions on everything. But the trouble with Sandy is--

————————————

Excerpts from recordings of meetings between the Architect and various associates.

————————————

CYBERSCOUT

--and, sorry, remind me why we care?

CONSTRUCTOR

We need to try to anticipate the general public objections to this. We won't be able to avoid them, not when we're going to be breaking so many laws. But we can at least anticipate them and get our own narrative out in advance. 

HOBBES

I don't think you get the question. We're villains. Why are we tiptoeing around "public objections?"

CONSTRUCTOR

Because, this is ultimately for the public. We need to try and get out the word about how people are asking for our help, so people know we're responding to their needs. Besides, we can’t accomplish anything for the public without the public. Like Sandy said.

CYBERSCOUT

Who?

CONSTRUCTOR

My--nevermind. Anyway, as I said, let me try to figure things out with Lethe for a minute.

CYBERSCOUT

Alright, alright. I needed to head out anyway, just call me when you have an idea of what shit you want me to spread online.

(Shuffling, people leaving and closing the door behind them.) 

CONSTRUCTOR

So you should have a better idea of what people are going to say to all of this. (Pause) Lethe?

LETHE

Sandy...? Cassandra White?

CONSTRUCTOR

You know her?! (Pause) Wait, then--what does she think about me now? Has she--

LETHE

Oh, u-uh no, sorry. I haven't--I never met her, never stood close enough to read her mind certainly. I-I wouldn't know what she thinks about you.

CONSTRUCTOR

...Oh.

LETHE

I just... heard a lot about her.

CONSTRUCTOR

...Funny. Not many people have.

LETHE

Yeaaaaah, um.

——————————

Blog post by Edward Katzenberger, journalist. Later removed and found on wayback.archive.org.

——————————

WHO IS CASSANDRA WHITE?

So, my long term followers all know about my hilariously derailed profile of Constructor assigned shortly before the stadium incident. I’ve kept you all abreast of the many, many delays related to high security super prisons and then my subject running off to start a supervillain career. Because of course, the second I get assigned this extremely exciting personality piece, Constructor becomes completely unreachable.

Alright, well, you might not believe me, but Constructor's manager/agent turned out to be even harder to reach.

At the time, I decided to take the "Frank Sinatra Has a Cold" approach and paint a portrait of Constructor based on the testimonies of coworkers, friends and family. I then found out that I could get testimonies from construction workers and urban planners about what the hero was like to work with (largely positive, if saddened by the recent turn of events) but nothing on what this incredibly beloved figure was like as a friend or family member.

The one thing I kept hearing from everyone was "Cassandra White would know more. The two of them seemed really close."

Now there was a problem: I couldn't find out who the fuck Cassandra White was.

———————————

BONFIRE

You got a--Oh, sorry. Working on something right now?

CONSTRUCTOR

Not work. I'm just-- (sounds of paper, flipping and folding it as Bonfire gets close) Just writing something.

BONFIRE

Writing...?

CONSTRUCTOR

Just scrawling out some thoughts, I guess.

LETHE

Mm. (Quiet) What are you both looking at me for?!

CONSTRUCTOR

What was that about?

LETHE

What was what about??

BONFIRE

Something about the writing...?

LETHE

Nothing! Nothing about the writing. I was just, I was making a noise. Thinking about something else, hahaha.

BONFIRE

.....What is it?

CONSTRUCTOR

Nothing! ... Lethe.

LETHE

I'm sorry! Don't be mad at me!

CONSTRUCTOR

I'm not mad! That was just--that was private.

BONFIRE

What was private?

LETHE AND CONSTRUCTOR

Nothing!

CONSTRUCTOR

(After a pause) ...I was just writing to Sandy again.

BONFIRE

(Irritated, sizzling noise) Ah, right. Sandy.

CONSTRUCTOR

See! This is why I didn't want to tell you.

BONFIRE

I don't see why you couldn't--

LETHE

Leaving! I'm leaving!

————————

It turns out Cassandra White was Constructor’s agent. I try to look her up online and? Nothing. No facebook profile, no personal website, not even a LinkedIn. 

That has to be odd for someone who works in PR, right?

I do a little searching to find the agents of other superheroes. I contacted one, and got an interview. I've lost the thread of trying to piece together Constructor's life but I'm curious dammit. I mention the issue I've had with finding her anywhere. He nods his head while I explain the wild goose chase I've been on.

"Well, White is a whole other ballgame," he says. "She took her privacy seriously, and I'm also pretty sure she scrubbed a lot of her history. She was meticulous about records--knowing names in media, tech, and various public archives who could help you scrub a dumb tweet before it snowballed into a PR crisis for your client."

"You can get rid of internet records?"

"Well, not easily. And not after people realize they're important, that's for sure," he said. "I once told her things on the internet are forever. She said, 'No. If people pay attention, then they're forever. But if no one cares in the first place, then it never existed at all.'"

"So there was a process she used to make sure people's images stayed clean," I said, "And she used the same process to make herself a ghost?"

"I imagine so. I mean, she's retired from being an agent and has her fingers in all sorts of other pies these days. Businesses, investments, politics. Plus, I imagine becoming a billionaire or whatever has made her priorities shift."

Billionaire. I think I almost choked on my coffee. "You can become a billionaire from being a PR agent?"

"You can't," he said. "But White did."

—————————

DOC

--nd now that we got that patched up, this is the part where you tell my why the fuck the police caught you anyway.

CONSTRUCTOR

Uhh... Dunno. Not sure how they found me.

DOC

Where did they track you down?

CONSTRUCTOR

Um... I'm not feeling up for this conversation right now.

HOBBES

It was that new square in York XIV that looks like a Whole Foods staged a violent invasion.

DOC

....okay, is there a reason you decided to be wandering alone around in an area with shit ton of white moms ready to call the police on your ass?

CONSTRUCTOR

....Yeah, I was alone because I thought everyone here would tell me not to go. (Sigh) Look, I'm not gonna–

CYBERSCOUT

(poking head in) The Whole Foods place? Oy, isn't that where that old chick you're stalking has a house?

CONSTRUCTOR 

I'm not--I was delivering a letter.

HOBBES

 ....wait a minute, I remember this. "Sandy" right? Your mom? The one who turned you into the FBI?

CONSTRUCTOR

She's not my mom. (Pause) And no, she turned in my letter--which she would have to, if she was being monitored. I thought if I--

CYBERSCOUT

Wasn't she also a racist? Wasn't that a whole fight you had with Bonfire?

HOBBES

(Judgmental) You act all woke and then you go and try to be friends a racist who lives in the Whole Foods district.

CONSTRUCTOR

She's not a--That's not what the fight--this is why I went alone!

———————

This conversation afforded me with a lot of more information which I am saving for a piece on the lives of superhero PR agents, which I am now utterly fascinated by. Regarding Cassandra White, the other significant info it afforded me was that Cassandra White does in fact have a twitter account that I missed in my earlier search.

I looked into it. It's the most inoffensive twitter account I've ever seen. It feels like it was generated on a factory belt. There is a headshot of an older white woman--Cassandra White herself, it seems--as the profile pic. She tweets very rarely herself, and instead seems to mostly retweet news updates and positive platitudes or quotes from historical figures. The tweets she does make are all of an extremely inoffensive liberal variety, with the spiciest being one gentle snipe at the Republican party.

There is one other hint of her personality on this twitter. It’s an unexpected photo from inside her home, one with a quick caption that says she regularly uses a whiteboard to write out her resolutions and thoughts, and that she finds the process to clarify her goals and values. 

It reads:

IT WILL BE DONE QUIETLY.  IT WILL BE DONE CIVILLY.  IT WILL BE DONE RIGHT–OR IT WON’T BE DONE AT ALL. 

—————————

CONSTRUCTOR

Alright, alright. We can talk more about this tomorrow but for now tell them no more death matches and any blood feuds need to be put on hold when they enter this fortress.

HOBBES

(Grunts) Pussy move.

CONSTRUCTOR

I don't care if it's a pussy move.

CYBERSCOUT

Ahem--what if I made the point that you're being culturally insensitive by imposing your mainstream standards of civility on a subculture of people, villains, who have their own values in how they deal with conflict, and--

CONSTRUCTOR

I know you bet on the fights and you're not changing my mind.

CYBERSCOUT

No fun. (sigh) Lethe, I TOLD you not to snitch on me!

LETHE

I didn't!

CONSTRUCTOR

Anyway, we can figure out a more long term solution for dealing with serious vendettas but for now--I'm tired. I have something else I need to work on. Tell them not to kill each other.

HOBBES

What are you writing that's more important than a potential deathmatch, anyway?

CONSTRUCTOR

Nothing. Just-- (Shuffling of papers) leave me to it for tonight. I don't want to set a precedent where I rush over every time someone wants to kill someone else, because given the personalities here that would mean never having any time.

CYBERSCOUT

Fiiiiiiiine.

(Grumbling and footsteps as people shuffle out, followed by writing noises.)

LETHE

Hey.

CONSTRUCTOR

What? (Pause) You know what I'm doing.

LETHE

The last time you tried to deliver something….

CONSTRUCTOR

I'll send someone else to deliver it.

(More scribbling. Deep breath.)

LETHE

I lied. I read her mind. She doesn't care about you.

(Writing stops. After a slight pause, there is the sound of paper crinkling and Lethe gasps and steps back.)

LETHE

Don’t be mad at me!

CONSTRUCTOR 

(Deep, strained breath) I’m not mad. You're just wrong.

LETHE

I could literally read her mind!

CONSTRUCTOR

Okay, you're not wrong.  You're lying.

LETHE

What? I'm not!

CONSTRUCTOR

(Fuming) You think I'm an idiot just because I haven't been calling you out on it? Everyone here knows you lie about what your powers show you whenever it suits your purposes.

LETHE

(Wobbly) I--I don't have a reason to lie about this!

CONSTRUCTOR

You don't have a reason that I know. But you are such a fucking liar. No one in the fortress trusts a thing you say, and you know it. 

LETHE

Th-that's not--That's not relevant! Oh my god, you're literally never going to even consider this, a-are you? That she was just using you for the cut of your paycheck, making her fortune...

CONSTRUCTOR

I'm not going to re-evaluate a decade long perception of a loved one based on the words of a known liar, Lethe. Get out.

LETHE

But--

(Rumbling, cracking of the floor.)

CONSTRUCTOR

I said get out!

———————————

The twitter account confirms she exists and nothing else. I couldn't tell you what the woman thinks about anything. On a website people use to blast their opinions to the world at all hours, this one seems specifically built to deny the existence of any individual opinions or personality. 

I scrolled all the way back to the time period during which Constructor would have had the big public meltdown at the stadium. I used the wayback machine to see if there were any deleted tweets, just in case she said anything in a fit of frustration or grief and deleted it.

But during the time where she would have been watching Constructor's breakdown, a time when everyone in the world had something to say about what Constructor had done--nothing.

Cassandra White, Constructor's closest person, had nothing to say about them at all.

[transflynnscifo]

Words left unspoken-- Flynn and the XBOX 360 ending

Today, I finally wanted to make a post about something that might be a little obscure. Whether it truly is would depend on whether

a) you’ve watched/seen the original version of Vesperia,

or

b) you enjoyed the game through PS3 or Definitive Edition and have looked into the significant differences done between the same game.

To preface, I think it is no secret to anyone that the original 360 version did not have Flynn as a playable character, whereas Patty was just not present (though there was a hint in the original version, if my memory serves me right, that there were plans to implement her even before the ps3 version)

This is my warning to avoid reading further, as this entire post contains spoilers for the ending of the game, regardless of the version.

To make sure all readers are up to speed, it’s important to mention that Flynn is not brought along for Tarqaron in the 360 version. If the player wants to talk to him as an NPC, he would be present in Aurnion (and the Colosseum as an enemy if you’re doing the 100-man melee). Regardless, this significantly changes the progression of the ending cutscene, once you are able to defeat the end-game boss. I would suggest to take a few minutes to watch and compare the original vs updated ending, which I am providing now, below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e91L4AIKcyg The version used in PS3 and Definitive Edition.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgeMz8Vyocw The version used for the XBOX 360 version, in English.

[I want to mention that I think the part where the rest of the party runs up to Yuri is cute in both versions. In the older one, Yuri kneels to greet Repede! Um, they forgot Patty in the new version somehow, but I imagine she’s doing her Dream Star arte and is about to explode the others.]

Let’s put our focus on Flynn, though!

In the Definitive edition, you know that he approaches Yuri happily, and they both do their little handshake/high-five thing before running up to the others.

In the XBOX 360 version, we get something entirely different! We have Flynn looking up softly at the sky in order to declare his pride for Yuri, without Yuri ever being able to hear that, let alone know it was even said.

Why does he not say it in the newer versions of Vesperia? Your guess is as good as mine, but I will still propose an idea: The moment was different.

Time and time again Flynn witnesses Yuri and the gang do so many good deeds without taking the proper credit for it. In the case of the original, Flynn is not playable, so he witnesses even less of what the party is doing. I think this cut away from the party perspective in the original to show Flynn is meant to assure the player (who usually may be controlling Yuri) that yes, he genuinely considers Yuri in that high of a regard. He doesn’t personally witness the defeat of the Adephagos in the original, so his only line of thought is to assume Yuri was able to defeat it himself. In fact, the original helps the viewer know that Flynn is perfectly certain this was Yuri’s doing.

Though Flynn goes through the same issue of Yuri refusing to take credit in all versions of the game, he is able to travel with the others and establish more of a bond (albeit awkwardly) with them in PS3 and onward. I think part of him not saying the pride line in those endings was also because he was generally relieved to see the Adephagos defeated with his own eyes. I assure you he probably still is proud of Yuri for it.

Let’s move on to a more interesting observation. Since the English XBOX 360 was very big for the west and there was no dual audio at the time, many players have missed out on how the line is spoken in the Japanese version of the original. So I wanted to compare them too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5h6QoedZ9o&t=322s The 360 ending, in Japanese.

INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER:

This part of my post isn’t meant to say which version is superior, but to discuss the choices done that make the lines both similar and different. Please keep this in mind I am saying this as a(n English) Language major thank you and godspeed.

Anyway, let’s put the lines together:

……君こそ僕の誇りだよ。親友 ...I am so proud to call you my friend, Yuri Lowell.

The website I’ve referred to for years by now does not offer a fan translation for the 360 version, but only for PS3 and on. In my experience playing the game in Japanese audio, watching my sibling play it in the dub, studying Japanese, I have found that the only significant times the fan-TL and the localization differ are when translating arte names. (Here is the website https://hyouta.com/vesperia/index.php?version=ps3p&locale=jp&compare=c2)

Some notes: こそ is used to put emphasis after pronouns. だよ is also used to put emphasis too, but in a very informal manner. Flynn typically ends many of his sentences with だ in Japanese, especially when he is speaking casually with Yuri and other party members. He even switches his first person pronoun depending if he’s on duty or not.

(for だよ: https://www.alexrockinjapanese.com/meaning-of-dayo-in-japanese-and-english-how-to-use/, for こそ: https://selftaughtjapanese.com/2015/10/22/japanese-word-koso-%E3%81%93%E3%81%9D-explained-in-detail/)

With my beginner-level Japanese, I will try to offer a translation of the former line, with the help of dictionaries such as https://jisho.org and the above resources to help me parse out a meaning.

“...You are my pride, close friend.” ← where arguably, switching close for the word dear might convey the message better. Frankly speaking, this ended up being the same translation as the one provided by a fluri quote bot that was used on twitter (pay respects for it no longer working).

Now, you might have noticed that I put an emphasis on ‘you’. Well, it’s because Flynn’s wording would be impossible to convey in the translation otherwise.

Let’s compare this and the official English localization! Several elements here are the same. They are marked:

...I am so proud to call you my friend, Yuri Lowell. ← Subject: I, Predicate: am, Complement: to call you. I’m not making the rest of the sentence now as it’s not that important. ...You are my pride, close friend. ← Subject: You, Predicate: are, Direct Object: my pride

So why is the English one so different? I can’t be truly sure, but even with a glance I can say that the syntactic construction is more complex, for one. I am interested in the switch between ‘pride’ and ‘proud’, with the former being a noun, the latter, an adjective.

What I also want to highlight here is that they ARE saying nearly the same thing. With the words ‘pride’ and ‘proud’ being able to be formed from one another, the meaning behind the words are not lost. In fact, when looking up the kanji for pride in the script of Vesperia, it is always translated interchangeably, depending on context.

If I must further simplify Flynn’s words, we get the following:

ENGLISH: I’m proud of my friend JAPANESE: (close) friend is my pride

depending on whether the difference is significant may be subjective.

Let’s determine the reasons /why/ the two versions wind up ultimately different while saying the same thing.

1. This is something my friend Choc pointed out. The possessive adjective. MY FRIEND vs MY PRIDE. When pulled from all context, the Japanese version comes out more intimate. But putting them back in it makes the scale more equal

I am proud + you are my friend = you are my pride + close friend

2. Troubles in translation: 親友 (しんゆう)

This kanji is not easy to translate. I’ve seen posts talking about it used in Naruto, where even there, it is difficult to emphasize the meaning in a translation. Even directly translating it like I did may come off awkward when in English. Translation and localization are one of the hardest parts of offering a Japanese text to non-Japanese speakers. And what can one do when the direct translation fails to impart the word?

You find other words that attempt to impart a similar connotation/meaning. This lies at the core of translation studies. It’s why a translator is REQUIRED to be a good speaker of the source and target language. The capability of having a wide range of vocabulary AS WELL AS being able to use it in the best placements are at the core of what one could consider a good translation. And even then, such a term is very subjective depending on which language speakers you ask. Especially when this comes to languages as different as English and Japanese.

But is 親友 truly lost in translation? I think the average English speaker is still able to infer that Flynn genuinely means his words in regards to Yuri. If not through one word, I think everything else that is said in done in the game is proof enough.

“I am so proud to call you…”

3. Cultural translations and implications

This point arose in further discussion between me and my friend Choc on the topic. Though I have operated with both lines saying they convey the same thing, I have not considered the semantics and cultural aspects of such phrases.

Firstly, Japanese is taught in a way where there is a large emphasis on formality. Most of what is seen in anime/manga/games can be considered at best informal and rude at worst. So it is important to keep such a thing in mind when looking at a Japanese texts. While we can translate something, we also need to understand how intimate it can be read, and subsequently, how would such a sentence come across in English.

“X is my pride” as a phrase is much less common than “I am proud of X”. And, subsequently, a speaker comes to alert if the former would be uttered. Why call someone the noun when you can describe them with the adjective?

This is speculative on my end but, in the case of Flynn’s line, I think it’s perfectly fine to say it’s intimate. That’s the intention! He and Yuri have known each other all their lives, and have been through the roughest parts in their relationship. They already speak informally with each other in Japanese, so such a line should not be too surprising, right?

Well, the perceived issue with using “You are my pride” in the localization could be that its meaning alters when it enters English. Semantically speaking, most English speakers would perceive this as romantically charged in most contexts. Part of it could be due to how direct it is when dissected syntactically, whereas the official localization lengthens the sentence and makes it more complex. In personal experience, many sentence structures I’ve already learned in Japanese are short and direct. Though Flynn’s line breaches intimacy, the structure is not why, but because of “こそ” and “だよ” that I mentioned earlier. Once more, the direct translation would in theory create a miscommunication of intention in the translation.

Ultimately, the most devastating part of Flynn’s line is the fact that Yuri will never be around to witness it. Yes, Flynn is still pretty direct with his feelings, we have that one line before the Aurnion fight, and it seems he can still convey his feelings non-verbally in a fight. But for someone who begins the story as demotivated and depressed, continues on to a point where his self-esteem plunders further, and manages to find what he wants to do while holding certain unhealthy ideas about Flynn (such as putting him on a pedestal, check the conversation with Sodia in Nor), Yuri probably really should hear those words, even if he is allergic to praise or positive affirmations aimed at him.

Ultimately, what can be done as a result is to ponder ideas after the end of the story and hope that Flynn eventually actually uses his words. But who’s to say! What did I do for this? I made edits. This is your reward for making it through my post. Maybe someday I’ll post them separately too.

Thanks for reading. Flynn Scifo is gay

[joons]

barbie is a fun, clever, visual feast with some lovely moments that i am happy to see resonate with people. the movie is definitely worth seeing. but i would only give the film a 3.5/5.

i am now going to talk at length about my thoughts on the film, most of which will be an attempt to understand what is being said here.

i think barbie's acceptance of the gender wars as inevitable and perpetual ends up being more regressive than a lot of what it's trying to critique. it mostly ends in a healthier place, but along the way, it has little ability to make meaning outside of that frame. i loved the interactions barbie had with older women, particularly ruth, and i think there's a wonderful message there about girls needing both aspirational role models and grounded older mentors who can help them manage any obstacles they find. what a wonderful theme, and one that is given subtle, genuine weight, which i prefer over the more overt, "telling" moments the film does throughout. but a lot of the story gets sidetracked in assuming women's role is tricking men (a role foisted on them as a reaction to the patriarchy, so don't blame them) and that any true reconciliation or mutual support between men and women is only based on pity. i think the film could have landed better as a reflection on womanhood if it actually dared to be about ... women. if it could imagine women as more. if it truly tried to show the complex roller-coaster of emotions instead of staying stuck in one gear.

i have seen people say how ironic it is that ken is the best part of a barbie film, but it's true, on even deeper levels than people realize. why is ken the only one with true agency, whose feelings are true to himself and not a reflection of someone playing with him? where is the boy playing with his sister's dolls and desperately trying to understand why he feels so inadequate? why are those questions never asked in a film that generates endless questions and observations about human frailty? none of the barbies are capable of doing anything for themselves; they are easily brainwashed by the kens, and all it takes to shake them out of it is a speech about how "complex" women are. kens just have to accept themselves as they are to be happy; barbies have to believe they are doing something productive and worthwhile. except main barbie, who feels like she can't do anything meaningful, because this movie thinks the different barbies are genuinely incapable of doing something if they don't have an outfit to go with it. if the point is that she feels less than because she has seen the real world and feels unprepared for it, well, none of the other barbies would have fared better. astronaut barbie couldn't get a job at nasa, just like beach ken can't get a job at beach. the one time we see barbie make a choice for herself, unprompted by others, unburdened from her anxieties, is to ... go to the gynecologist. um. empowering. i guess.

(i think the ken/barbie plot would have worked better if they were "packaged" together. there's no real reason this ken has the crisis, why barbie feels any special responsibility for him.)

the fact that barbie begins to feel angst and anxiety as a result of real women's insecurities is fascinating; in being the avatar of girls' hopes, she also becomes their "competition," a symbol of all their grief and all their inadequacies. maybe you can see how kens get off easy here; they are not evolved enough; they will never be chosen by the gods as friends or idols or objects of hatred. that could have been explored more, especially through the mother-daughter relationship. why do teenagers begin pulling away from their mothers? perhaps for the same reason they grow out of barbie, because they want to be something beyond the touchstones of femininity they have. they want to be their own person and have to separate themselves, but the girls their age are obsessed with tearing each other down and taking their insecurities out on each other because they feel broken. barbie was experiencing that rejection for the first time. the film could have had something to say about how women can be cruel to one another as they struggle to find their own paths, but it's understandable and part of learning to identify what feels real and true to you. but none of the human characters have enough screentime to address any of this.

i liked the point that women dolls are saddled with the same impossible standards that many women feel. they're blamed in society for women's insecurities and also become totemic, like, "we gave you barbie, what more do you want?" i get that, i get the frustration that animates some of the plot, but i couldn't relate to it all that much. but it does ring true for me that b a r b i e as a concept, a company, a doll, is not the problem or the solution. she's just cool.

("why not make barbies that are relatable and normal?" the movie suggests. oh my god....... 💀 💀 💀 what year is this?)

i think allan (almost inadvertently, or at least subtly) makes the movie's best point: the lack of expectations can be an incredible gift. without them, you are free to become your own person on your own time instead of feeling less than because you're comparing yourself to others. we must all be allan. allan is our friend.

there are honestly so many smart concepts and sly commentary here that feel buried in Telling Not Showing; like the ken war was SO funny, and it would have hit hard if we saw the barbies struggling to find a way to understand and interact with the kens ... and they decide to play nice before realizing jealousy and competition seem to motivate the kens ... and then the kens do the most ken thing and do a normandy reenactment to gain women's attention. that's so archetypal, such a funny nod to the cyclical weirdness of human history, to the idea that women (and men) work within the system that is created for or against them, using the tools they have, living up to the gender roles/models they've been taught! but because the characters are like "i know what we will do. we will manipulate them and then they will go to war because they are men!" it's like ... ugh. it messes up the pacing of that whole sequence. it kills the surprise and delight of watching it unfold, so all we can react to are the sight gags (giving mouth to mouth to the horse lmaoooo) and the juxtoposition of war film and gene kelly musical. but the actual gender role commentary is stated so explicitly, afraid to question itself, afraid to say anything surprising or insightful, that it amounts to putting everyone right back in their box. the film tries to balance this at the end, pitying patriarchy as a cope against death, trying to empower the kens to be themselves, but it refuses to imagine any true healing or change, anything beyond "well, kids need to imagine barbieland as a matriarchal utopia, even though we have established that doing so leaves them unprepared for a world of unfair standards they can't control." all women can expect to do is fight for a land of dreams, but always know that the most that land can achieve is creating an image that will be sold back to them as empowerment. genuinely, what the FUCK is the point of this film. oh, it's too hard to say that imagination is what makes us human and that ultimately means more than the object. again, the film will outright state some version of this idea ("I want to do the imagining, I don't want to be the idea"), but every other part of the plot undercuts it with its own failure to imagine women as more than reactive.

and it had the chance to let women be real characters! (hell, does this movie even remember that barbie has Lore, a Family, a Last Name, that she hasn't been "just a doll" in a long, long time?) but the film seems to set up plots that would have given us organic interactions and fully realized characters. i got so excited when america's character, gloria, showed up, because okay, we're going to be able to explore womanhood through the eyes of a real person, we're going to see the push and pull between idealized utopias and dreams and real-world survival and hope and despair by learning more about her. but no. gloria is there to give a speech that doesn't sum up her life and her passions but all women in very generic terms. it's not experiential, it's definitional (and it's a definition built on what a woman is not -- not this, not this, can't be that). it is relying on the audience to point and say, "i recognize that," instead of building gloria as a person we love and know and laugh and cry with. you are building a wall between the story and your audience; if they never had "complicated feelings" about barbie, if they aren't sure why gloria cares so much about the doll while her daughter has such a negative reaction, then it is not going to let them in and explain that. it is going to say, "if you don't get it, you are brainwashed, probably, or a man, and you don't want to see it, and i am not going to open it up to you because it is an exclusive club, intentionally, because it is the only club we have, and i am not going to open it up to further ridicule or commentary, even though that is what this entire movie is doing." gah! tell a story! tell a STORY! surprise me! why are we just pointing at things?

i'm telling you, when barbie sits on that bench and has an interaction with an older lady, who is totally at ease in her own skin, who is un-selfconscious and not angry and peaceful, it brought immediate tears to my eyes. it was such a breath of fresh air. a real person, reacting in a way that surprises and moves you. what was her story. who is she. what is her secret to confidence and balance, and how can women share that with one another. no no no, go go go, take on capitalism and patriarchy until you're too tired to remember how to laugh, this is healthy and good. @~@

ultimately i am talking about the themes i wish were there or wish were more emphasized because the messages that are there feel contradictory. for instance, the kens' patriarchy is shallow and cartoonish, both in barbieland and the real world (that mattel executives were just as stupid and pointless as TOY PEOPLE was so INTERESTING to me; like what does it mean that men can still "play," and get paid enormously for it? but it's kind of just "isn't this dumb"), and the barbies are more than happy to manipulate their kens' emotions to get what they want. america ferrera tells barbie she is justified to feel mad at ken for what he did to her and her friends. but in the next scene, barbie comforts ken and connects to his feelings of vulnerability. it feels like the movie is rolling its eyes through the scene, when it could have been a really beautiful, sweet moment where humanity is recognized as universal, a true "man was not meant to be alone" moment of meaning, turned inside out and shaken and reconfigured as complementary and supportive, where barbie and ken realize community is crucial to weathering their own insecurities and flawed emotional responses, and maybe you can need someone without making it your whole personality. maybe the fear of connection is something all girls start to struggle with as they become teenagers, and they need that world where men don't want anything from them, and they want to cling to it a little longer than necessary. but because it's been bookended with "of course he's going to cry about it, don't give in, it's not your job to support him," the emotional core of the scene is undercut by shallower stuff. the scene genuinely reads like "placating men is important and you should do it," which is INSANE to me, but that's what is coming across with the wild whiplash between rage and sweetness, denying kens any humanity the whole film and trying to patch it up right at the end. barbie's ennui stems from the fact that a weary mother is playing with her, but the rest of the barbies - and the film as a whole - feel puppeted by the surly teenager who has not moved beyond rage-filled one-liners. i don't like that this is the case because those moments of human connection (barbie with the older woman on the bench, the mother-daughter relationship, even ken trying to understand why he cares so much what other people think of him) are so great. we're just supposed to ... not apply compassion to characters the film doesn't like. and we are supposed to like the characters we do like not because we are experiencing their lives with them but because they are saying The Right Things Loudly.

(and don't you love how the film even has a prepackaged response to being criticized? wanting men to be real people is brainwashed behavior. wanting women to have thoughts that go beyond regurgitated feminism 101 catchphrases is asking too much of a plastic toy. it's just a reflection or reality, see, but it's also exaggerated satire. i think the glib tone just crept into everything and made for some wild subtext that i don't even think the film recognizes.)

greta gerwig is more successful at dealing with the tension between made "things" and real life in little women. jo, as a stand-in for louisa may alcott, is resistant to getting jo "married off" and only caves in to get the book published. but the life and joy still sing in the scene where she reunites with bhaer, even when the audience is already primed to see it as artificial and cynical. the play between what jo says she wants and what jo indulges in is obvious; we can find joy and light even in the things that feel like a compromise of our principles. sometimes they are better than life, better than what we could imagine, they take on lives of their own, they become little women who exist off the page and no longer have to carry the burden of being "The One Narrative For Women" because they spark thousands of other stories and hopes and longings that the author doesn't have to be responsible for. as much as i waffle on whether i like the ending of gerwig's little women, it's clear that part of greta is throwing up her hands, in a "but what do i know?" gesture ... indulgent romance might just be the little antidote we need to stave off the lonely feelings we get sometimes. it's not weak, it's not a compromise, it's just cool.

for whatever reason, she doesn't bring that same verve or ambiguity to this film; she can't infuse barbie with meaning beyond what her critics say about her. barbies, like women, have to be perfect, but they can't be. they can't be totems, but they are. we must get away from them, but we can't. they are creations of men, but women can't think their way out of the box. barbie is an immortal ideal, but none of what she symbolizes has any impact.

"that's the point. it's complicated," greta says to me. "my job here is done."

"but declaring things complicated is not a point of view!" i yell back. "you didn't do anything!"

maybe i am too invested in barbie to even recognize that people have such negative feelings about her. maybe i have seen this premise done better in the lego movie, teen beach movie, barbie: life in the dreamhouse! (all of which genuinely love toys and kids/teen media and are not using them to sort out their own disgruntled feelings — and have a genuine belief that even flawed media bankrolled into existence can be real art, something gerwig seems so skeptical about that she lets her ambivalence about taking on this particular directorial gig become the driving tension in the story. how ... relatable?) maybe i have unresolved issues with greta's themes from little women and am now realizing how little she seems to get the things that matter to me, and we just need to part ways.

as anthony lane writes in the new yorker, "maybe the movie is for greta gerwig. and, by extension, for anyone as super-smart as her—former barbiephiles, preferably, who have wised up and put away childish things."

to that, i'd put a quote from c.s. lewis, whose work greta will soon try to get her hands around: "when i became a man i put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." the soul shudders at a narnia, a barbieland, a march family home, that are only notable for how "complicated" our feelings about them are supposed to be, and i think that puts my thoughts on greta's work into words.

now ... proust barbie, i would buy.

[fraterfalls]

Hi, I'm new to Blood Brothers AU and I was curious about it. Can you explain about it or show me where I can see the best explanation about it?

ohhh, dear asker, the rabbit hole i'm about to send you down... >:)

alright let me try and explain it in the most coherent way possible, it's late at night BUT i will try my best!!!

explanation under the cut!

(in general, if you're new to the bb au like this asker and trying to find your way around this overwhelming hell of an au i've concocted, i recommend you start here :D)

wow. i tried SO HARD to make this a semi-concise explanation and YET it somehow turned into a mini-fic in itself towards the end there. sighhh... (lol even still, have fun reading!)

first thing's first i need to tell you aboutttt

The Parallel World / "Better World".

in journal 3, ford mentions visiting a parallel dimension in which stan never pushed him into the portal, and instead took his journal and hid it as ford had requested.

^ some screenshots to give you the basic gist of what's going on in that dimension, everything you need to know for the time being. you can read more about it on internet archive if you like

at some point in august i reread this part of journal 3 and became obsessed with the idea of a parallel dimension. i also noticed that apart from mentioning how he never pushed ford into the portal and took the journal in this world, parallel stan is just... not really brought up. at all. ...which opens up some interesting possibilities.

as you can probably guess, this dimension features in the blood brothers au! in my interpretation, the reason stan was never mentioned is because after leaving with ford's journal, he never came back, just seemingly disappeared off the planet. parallel ford... has not been handling this well (and a certain bastard triangle only serves to play up his worst fears!), and because he has such a large student body to attend to and take care of and protect, he represses his issues, buries them under layers and layers of work and responsibilities. nobody even knows he has a brother...

not even his nephew and niece, dipper and mabel. however, they're observant as all hell. as secretive as ford is, they see past his little white lies, they see how he doesn't eat properly and falls asleep at his desk and laughs nervously when someone asks if he's alright. (i haven't talked much about the role they play in this au on tumblr, but rest assured i'll be elaborating more on it in my upcoming fic that may come out sometime within... um... the next few months to the next few decades. they're still the same old mystery twins we know and love, except now they've set their sights on figuring out what their grunkle ford is hiding. very Not What He Seems reminiscent)

alright, now that i've mostly covered the parallel world, time to move on to:

The Portal Stan AU

while i was obsessing over the Better World, a parallel dimension/"alternate universe" which already exists in canon, i started thinking about another AU which is fairly popular in the gravity falls fandom: the portal stan AU. in which stan, rather than ford, gets sent into the portal. thought it was a fantastic concept ever since i first saw it, because it opens so many doors for interesting characterization and also some good ol' angst (and later a healing arc, of course). portal stan has, after all, spent 40 or so years without a solid family base or anyone to care for him. and i can imagine that in those 30 years he spent dimension-hopping, his only thought was to return to his home dimension and see ford again. yes, he was furious and frustrated when they had that last argument, but surely in hindsight he saw how paranoid and jittery ford had been throughout their meeting. he would want to get back and make sure his brother was safe as soon as possible.

and then i had the thought which kicked off this entire au:

what if portal stan fucked up and somehow stumbled upon the parallel dimension while searching for a way home? what if portal stan and parallel ford... MET?

portal stan sees parallel ford and his situation and comes to the conclusion that, without him in the way, ford would flourish. parallel ford sees portal stan and comes to the conclusion that no matter the universe, he somehow manages to destroy stan's life just by being in it. even just knowing that the other exists exacerbates their own insecurities. IT'S SO AWFUL AND SO PERFECT.

also, portal stan couldn't be more desperate to get out of the parallel dimension- partly because he hates the reminder that ford would be better off without him, but mostly because he wants to see his real brother again. however, parallel ford has other plans for him. he's been in denial about the true fate of his own brother for a long time now, but he sees this version of stan and decides he can't afford to let go of him. (his own mental state is too fragile to accept the idea of losing stan again, even if this isn't his own stan. he already let go of him once after the WCT fiasco, and again after the journal incident. thrice is... thrice is too much.)

you may also be thinking "hey, smart guy, i actually DID read that screenshot you posted above while explaining the parallel dimension. it said parallel ford and fiddleford constructed a little something called a Vortex Neutralizer which allows for safe, bill-free multiversal travel. couldn't portal stan just use that to get out of there?"

yeaaah, parallel ford doesn't tell him about that!

he will do almost anything to keep stan with him. he is sinking his claws into that man begging him not to leave-

and stan hates him for it. tears into him with insult after insult. he can't stand this ford, why's he acting like he doesn't have everything he could ever want? (except, of course, he doesn't really hate him. after all, this is still stanford pines, maybe not his ford but he's certainly a ford. same old easily excitable nerd he used to tease back in high school. but stan still has his own ford to attend to, one who needs him more than anything... probably... hopefully, so he shuts out the part of him which is growing fond of parallel ford. tells himself not to think too much about this one. he hardly even knows him. he shouldn't have to bother.)

-

and yeah that's. i think that's enough information to take in in a single post. there's still plenty more going on with the au that i haven't touched on here, but hey that's just the premise! i would link you to more specific posts which will help you further acquaint yourself with the au, but it's. it's 2am and i am incredibly sleepy, so instead i will simply provide you with the link to the blog archive, where you can look at all the posts on here without having to scroll endlessly trying to find specific things. enjoy!!!

if you have any more questions DON'T BE AFRAID TO COME BOTHER ME ABOUT IT !!! i loved answering this ask... <3 been meaning to rewrite a better AU Premise Post than the one i made back in august anyway lol

[sneezingfetishftw-fics]

Welcome to my sideblog for sneezefics! My main is @sneezingfetishftw and I reblog wavs to @sneezingfetishftw-wavs. A guide to my tags can be found here

Links to my writing

All my writing is tagged with #my snezfic , but here it is with synopses for your convenience. Multi-chapter fics link to the first chapter (which links to all other chapters). Most recent fics up top.

Works in progress

Why is it Always 1/8 of a Sex Thing? Striker captures Blitz by making him sneeze (thus incapacitating him). As usual, Blitz tries to make it a sex thing. Will include Stolas eventually.

Completed

A rigorous training is nothing to sneeze at (330 words, Lev//er//age): Parker trains for every possibility by making herself sneeze. The new guy Mr. Wilson is confused.

Insufferable (11,400 words, Haz/bin Ho/tel): Vox gets a virus right before the Angelic Security interview and the Vees take care of him. Multi-chapter fic that starts with Vox being an asshole and gradually transitions to him being more and more pathetic lmao.

Guessed it on the nose (1,950 words, Haz/bin Ho/tel): Husk has the kink, Angel tries to get him to admit it. Loose sequel to the untitled fic

Not a performance (1,400 words, Haz/bin Ho/tel): Husk is sick and allergic and is self-conscious about it (and about sex with a porn star in general)

Untitled (650 words, Haz/bin Ho/tel): Angel Dust is introduced to the kink

Composure (3,550 words, Dis/co El/ysi/um: Kim trying to hide his kink as he takes care of a sick Harry

Untitled (2,900 words, Dra/gon A/ge Or/ig/ins): Alastair has hayfever and there's some witty banter among the companions

Ideas queue

If any of these look especially good to you, speak up! You might be able to influence the queue order or motivate me to get started

5 + 1 : 5 times Alastor turned Vox on accidentally and one time he did so on purpose. Featuring one-sided radiostatic aka radiosilence and kink!Vox turned on by his own sneezes. Open to ideas for this one, I only have ideas for 2 out of 5 so far

Vox spies on Alastor and, upon observing a sneezing fit, realizes Vox is turned on by watching Alastor sneeze lol

[loopingpyre]

Yeah, fair enough on the needing more detail point, I sort of wanted to test the waters to see if you'd even care first, cause I wasn't gonna waste time typing out a whole thing if the notion of JRPGs being fundamentally flawed didn't interest you and then you deleted my ask. So I guess I'll now oblige and explain in more detail.

I've been playing a few of the SMT games because my girlfriend really likes them and I, being a good girlfriend (trying to!) want to show that I care about her interests. Prior to this I've only really played Persona 3 and 5 and Yakuza 7. For this, I played Soul Hackers 2, and Devil Survivor 1 and 2 (1 to Yuzu's ending, and 2 to Ronaldo's ending), and about an hour of SMT V, which I found boring, and she, having played the whole game (I'm pretty sure) agrees with me that it's boring, so I decided to not keep playing it (for now at least)

My main issue with most all of these games comes mostly threefold: the amount of time and commitment they take, the difficulty and in particular the manner in which it is imposed, and the heavily formulaic nature of their plots. These are sort of holistic issues, I guess, so I can't really neatly divide them, but I'll try.

First of all: the time commitment. Playing both Devil Survivors to a single ending took me around thirty to forty hours each, going off of my save files. (I was playing the 3DS versions, mind, and listening to all the voice acting, which surely extended the time played.) I understand that it gets faster on NG+, and in itself, this isn't exactly the biggest of deals, because video games in general take a long time (it's the way it is really), but JRPGs just feel like they take way longer than the average video game and this issue compounds when one considers the latter two flaws I've observed.

So, secondarily: The difficulty, and the way it's imposed. Soul Hackers 2 obviously is not a hard game, and there's not that much variance in its content, and it's not the longest of these sorts of games, either, so I wouldn't say it's the greatest offender here (using that term feels wrong...), but with Devil Survivor 1, I felt this the most. About 80 percent of the way through the game, which I'd generally found to be quite unchallenging for the most part, I found myself suddenly struggling against Belial (the fire demon). During a grinding session in which I was trying to level myself up so that I could weather my way through this (to my annoyance, as I found the grinding incessantly tedious, more on that later), my girlfriend looked over my shoulder, and said "why do your stats look like that?"

You see, my stats, at the time, all four, magic, vitality, agility, and uh... What was the fourth one. Strength! Yeah, um they were *all* at exactly 17 (give or take 1.) I explained to her, rather calmly, that I had done this because I couldn't really choose which of the four stats I wanted more of, and thought it would be best if I made all of these numbers perfectly balanced and equal.

This is an approach I almost always take in most any video game that offers any form of upgrade or skill tree: I struggle with overchoice, can't choose a priority to go for, so every time I have resources with which to upgrade, I just upgrade whatever is most recently neglected such that I have a generally well-rounded skill set and can do a bit of everything.

She, an SMT veteran, immediately went like, "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO "

And explained to me that the way I was *supposed* to do this, was to specialize in one area or another, magic or strength or tanking damage with high health, or whatever. To which I said "HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!" She insisted I should have just known it, I guess? Anyway, I considered this a grievous design flaw that irreparably impaired my enjoyment of the game. As I did not have an old save file with which to revert my statting decisions, and did not wanted to restart the entire game, nor did I want to grind the same fucking goddamned shibuya battle over and over and over and over and over again for god knows how many hours until I somehow corrected my stats

I opted to use my (hacked) 3DS to install an external cheat which inflated my protagonist's level to 99 with all four stats at their maximum of 40. I did this because I had decided I hated how this game was balanced and wanted to finish it and no longer waste my time. I felt pleased with this decision, because I was playing through the bad ending in which the cast brute forces their way out of the lockdown and ruining the world, while myself brute forcing my way out of the game and ruining the game balance. *ahem* I mean, fixing the game balance

My girlfriend said "I'm glad you had fun ruining one of my favorite games :(((" In response, I opined that Devil Survivor would have been better if it were a straightforward visual novel.

While Soul Hackers 2 does not have this specific issue, given that Ringo's stats are all mostly preset by the game and you can only mildly boost them here and there, I did instead take umbrage with the way that the later floors of the Soul Matrix dungeon were organized around teleporters which teleport you from one island of the floor to another, with no clear sense of rhyme or reason to their routing. I considered these teleporters to be arbitrary and stupid, as they were frustrating, and demanded that I have the capacity for rote memorization of the layout and teleporter placement of an entire dungeon whose corners broadly look all the damn same. I called these a blatantly egregious example of "fake difficulty".

She warned me never to touch several of the older SMT games.

I booted up Devil Survivor 2, with my girlfriend's advice about specialization in mind. I enjoyed the game a lot more than Devil Survivor 1, but, for the sake of mitigating gameplay frustration, I pirated the DLC. I quickly realized I would not enjoy the grinding, even with the reduction of grinding that the DLC enables, and cheated to have infinite money so I could have more fun with the game. I went for Ronaldo's ending, because he's sort of a leftist and his voice acting makes him sound like Knuckles the Echidna from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I thought siding with "communist Knuckles the Echidna" was a very funny image

Anyway, across all three of these experiences, I generally wondered, "do I like these? do I like their stories? do I like their gameplay?" and I feel like the answer is broadly sort of... yes, sometimes, but generally no?

I kinda just don't really understand the appeal of being railroaded into repetitive tasks for the sake of increasing numbers that then decide whether or not you win, rather than like, your actual skill, which is just down to pressing the same buttons over and over. I get that part of the appeal is the long-term strategy of building your party, and that's valid and all, but I tend to very quickly get frustrated with it because often times I fail to intuit the correct strategy ahead of time, and the solution turns out to be "rewind the clock back several hours!" and I don't want to do that and have to redo all the work I did up to that point, and then potentially have to rewind again if I do it wrong.

So, the appeal is supposed to be the strategy, I guess, which just takes a lot of dedication that I don't have in me, but if I dial that down to make it easier, then the game's reduced to pressing more buttons, and, just isn't really fun at all in the way it's supposed to be. And that all might be fine if the story was worth the effort, but... is it?

All of these games have very thin narratives which all more or less boil down to "humanity good" vs "humanity bad" vs "humanity bad but sometimes good so it's worth it (sometimes)" ideological conflicts that all end up with killing one or another divine or cosmic entity with omnipotence of one or another variety, and like, cool, I guess, is that worth 50-100 hours of effort? Is that something I'm invested enough in to throw myself into an entire series, hell, an entire genre, of games for? I'm not really sure that it is, to me, so. Weh?

Is that really all that there is to this entire game genre? Like, outside of indie games that mostly have their own issues (they're all very derivatively ripping off Mother 3 and/or Undertale and/or Chrono Trigger and not generally bringing a lot of new mechanical ideas, and even still they just kinda find their way back to the issue of the grind not being that fun most of the time)

And my girlfriend has just argued to most of this that maybe I just don't like the games, and I shouldn't force myself to like them, and she'd like to please stop rehashing this argument with me, and maybe she's right, maybe I just don't enjoy JRPGs, and that's okay, but uh...

I don't know. I want to try and see what she sees in them and find out if I can really care about them the way she does. She has a Jack Frost plushie that I sometimes play with, and it's cute, and I want to care about him more the way she does, not just because he's cute but because I've played these games and had fun and know who he is and definitely don't hate his stupid little face aaahh I love him so much

and I keep inventing fun little lore for Frosty the Jack Frost plushie (she calls him Frosty) about how he sells stuff he stole to the Black Market which is owned by Black Frost, and he's planning to kill King Frost and overthrow the Frost Monarchy, and all that, and she seems to find that cute even though she keeps contradicting it with lore and trivia from the games and I keep going "well I dunno *in the back of my mind: but maybe I want to know*" and like

I'm sorry if this seems like an insane unhinged rant but I just really love my girlfriend and I think it'd hurt a little to have to give up on something she really loves, even if I know, intellectually, that she loves me more, and that that won't change if I don't like SMT, and it's okay if I don't like them.

But I want to like them. I genuinely do. I don't know how to like them and I don't know how to tell her I want to like them and am not trying to start a fight with her over something she loves. I don't know. Am I missing something?

for the record I kind of like a lot of things Soul Hackers 2 does and I think I'd like it a lot more if it was finished but that's a can of worms I maybe shouldn't open....

Holy shit this is so much and thank you so much also for caring enough for my opinion because i have a whole lot to say here, and I adore these games.

Let's break it down point by point.

Belial is fairly challenging, the game is hard. And I think your girlfriend has done you a severe disservice. If she wanted you to min-max your stats in a certain direction, she should have told you about that straight up. I can understand her immediate reaction due to it being uncommon, but how is that your fault? The game is actually designed for it anyway.

You're given party members that focus on different niches, Yuzu and Midori and Keisuke can all perform powerful magic offensive roles, Atsuro is a strong tank, Kaido has powerful offensive stats, and you share a skill pool, so having a less specialised build is really only going to make it that much harder if you try to make your protag the main attacker, which some SMT vets seem to instinctively do in these games. Having a mix means you could play the healer, carry an extra element or phys attack or status condition to cripple a foe.

I personally would have leant towards a code that lets you boost levels faster, but I think her response to cheating was unreasonable. I think the game is balanced well even if you make an even spread but you're trying to have fun and try her thing. Kind of rude to you really, because sometimes you just need to cheat, these games are HARD. Remember that escort mission earlier on? Kind of needlessly tricky.

There's a reason that new versions of these releases have additional easy modes. In some of their PS2 game promotion, Atlus PR famously said 'we get off on your tears'. That mentality has somewhat changed since. Whilst some, like I, say that the difficulty is kind of part of the point, there's only so much you should have to put up with. I actively reccommend cheats in some games as a way to ease you in, when they are so challenging.

(Were you playing the DS version? The Yuzu ending certainly isnt a 'bad ending' on 3ds. The 8th day makes it one of my fave endings. Trying to complete every ending is a fool's endeavor in my opinion, and you should only lean towards what you think is best. Maybe look up an ending guide on the offchance the cool ending you want is hidden in some way so you never have to touch the game again unless you actually want to. The point is about you making Your Choice.)

Moving along, Ronnie my beloved. Love that guy, his route is easily the best. I love Soul Hackers 2 despite it's frustratingly flaws of 'they ripped half the game out and sold it as day 1 dlc' and 'the fucking soul matrix', and a lot of people just dismiss it out of hand based on early dungeon design and miss out on the way it deals with it's cast. Im so glad you can SEE IT.

Within many Shin Megami Tensei games, the stat grinding difficulty is the point insofar as you are fighting a world that is falling apart and wants you dead. And even so, you keep fighting and surviving. These titles can be rather samey as they go over their various aspects of humanity over and over, but thus can they really be made a representative of the JRPG genre? What about Pokemon, which is about adventuring and bonding with your creatures? SMT has a distinct theme they stick to that they repackage in different flavours. Fuck it, play old ones and cheat in them. Load up on macca and buy a gazillion healing items to cut down the grind and overall playtime.

I've noticed a distinct absence of the Persona games too? Which is strange given how they all differ from traditional smt in terms of theming.

My favourite RPGs are 'The World Ends With You' and 'The Caligula Effect 2'. Entirely different from SMT and dont focus on 'humanity' in that way at all and they absolutely aren't representative of more mainstream JRPGs.

(sidenote, what are your favourite RPGs out of curiosity? I can probably help you hunt down some specific titles that you would like more?)

I adore your Jack Frost lore. Why can't that work in canon? Little fairy friend SHOULD overthrow the frost monarchy!

(and that sort of stuff is encouraged in Atlus' other series Etrian Odyssey, which is a dungeon crawler where you make a team of customised guys (you can start anywhere).

I think the only thing you can really do is play more, but i dont think you should push yourself either or you could burn out and appreciate it less. I'm sorry that I don't have magical advice that will solve that conundrum.

Thank you so much for coming to me though, it means a lot and I hope this ramble does anything for you. Im trying to check on my phone that I covered everything in your post and Im so sorry if I missed anything (please point it out if so).

Best of luck?

[aishangotome]

Minamoto No Yoritomo: Chapter 19

Chapter 18

♡———♡

Yoshino: ...You didn't look like that.

Yoritomo: ......

Yoritomo: What? Were you observing my face without saying anything?

Yoritomo-sama's hand reached out and touched my cheek.

Yoritomo: You're a naughty girl.

Yoshino: I'm not being naughty!

Seeing my reaction, Yoritomo laughed playfully deep in his throat.

(He's teasing me again...)

(Or rather... it's more accurate to say he's evading the question.)

I felt like I was being gently pushed away, and I felt inexplicably lonely.

(We're not really lovers, so there's no need to feel lonely... How strange.)

In the night wind, Yoritomo suddenly spoke.

Yoritomo: Speaking of which, good work.

Yoshino: Eh?

When I asked back, not knowing what he meant, Yoritomo continued bluntly.

Yoritomo: You were treating the wounded until just now, right?

Yoshino: Ah, yes. But it was just simple treatment.

Yoritomo: Stop with the pointless modesty.

Yoritomo: I've heard that you've prepared a large amount of medicine in storage.

Yoritomo: You can just honestly brag about your work, you know.

(This is... the sly part of Yoritomo.)

(Even though he always teases me, he definitely notices when I've made an effort.)

Yoshino: Thank you very much! I hope I can be of some help to everyone.

Yoritomo: You're plenty helpful.

Yoritomo: There will be even more wounded starting tomorrow.

Yoritomo: Some of them will surely have their lives saved by your medicine.

(Ah...)

I gasped in surprise.

Before--Yoritomo had said that the loss of many lives for his sake was the karma of being the heir to the Genji clan.

(What was he thinking as he looked down at the blood-soaked plains?)

I couldn't tell from the eyes of Yoritomo, who was now beside me.

Yoshino: Um, if...

Yoritomo: Hmm?

(If you're feeling anxious, I want to comfort you.)

(...I can't say such an audacious thing, can I?)

There's probably only a little I can do for Yoritomo, who is stronger than anyone.

That's why I couldn't cross the line drawn by Yoritomo.

Yoshino: Well... huh? I forgot what I wanted to say.

Yoritomo: You're an idiot.

Yoritomo laughed, with a kindness that was almost cruel.

It was lonely and loving, and my heart ached with conflicting emotions.

(I fell in love with him, including this part of him.)

Yoritomo: Well, when this battle is over, I'll give you a generous reward.

Yoritomo: With that, you can live comfortably running an apothecary in any town.

Yoshino: Yoritomo-sama... You remembered my dream.

Yoritomo: Of course I did.

I came to Kamakura aiming to become an independent pharmacist.

(I thought I had been working hard towards that goal, but...)

I put on a joking smile.

Yoshino: If I go back to being an ordinary pharmacist, I won't be able to enter and leave the Imperial Palace anymore, right?

Yoritomo: That's a shame. I'll have to find a new attendant.

Even though I brought up the topic myself, I was momentarily at a loss for words.

--CHOICE--

That's lonely...

Your bullying...

Even if someone else comes...

--------------

Yoshino: I guess it'll soon be over, being bullied by Yoritomo-sama.

Yoritomo: I guess I'll have one less amusement.

Yoshino: That's too bad. If I had a medicine to cure bullying, I would have given it to Yoritomo-sama.

When my cherished dream comes true, I won't be able to see the person I love anymore.

I continued the conversation with a smile, pretending not to know the pain in my chest.

Yoshino: What about you, Yoritomo-sama? Is there anything you want to do after the war is over?

Yoritomo: Nothing different from before.

Yoritomo: I'll expand the shogunate and lay the foundation for the samurai's world. That's all.

Yoshino: I see...

Yoshino: So, Yoritomo-sama's battles will continue from now on.

(No matter how difficult this battle is, it's just a stepping stone for Yoritomo-sama.)

(Because he's moving towards a bigger goal.)

Yoritomo: It's not such a grand thing.

Yoritomo made a sarcastic expression at my cough.

Yoritomo: After all, I'm not a hero.

Yoritomo: It's just a matter of steering the boat I'm on so it doesn't sink.

(Not a hero, huh... It's a twisted way of putting it, typical of Yoritomo.)

I was moved by his unwavering conviction, and at the same time, a question spilled from my lips.

Yoshino: But... don't you have any desires of your own, Yoritomo-sama?

Yoritomo: My own desires?

Yoshino: Yes. Not a great cause you want to achieve for everyone, but a small desire that's just for you.

Yoritomo: .......

Yoritomo: Well, I've never thought about it.

Yoritomo: I can get anything I want now.

Yoritomo: Where is the need to want more?

Yoshino: That may be true, but...

(As I thought... Yoritomo-sama seems to have everything, but he has nothing.)

(Because he doesn't wish for anything for himself.)

I was saddened once again by the realization of the distorted form of his strength.

Yoshino: I think you should be more greedy, Yoritomo-sama.

Yoritomo: What's that?

Yoritomo laughed in astonishment and ruffled my hair.

(Hey... I'm being serious.)

The warmth given by his fingertips disrupts my heart more easily than Yoritomo probably thinks.

(This is no good... I need to be more decisive about my feelings.)

(I'm happy enough just being able to protect Yoritomo-sama.)

(I shouldn't wish for anything more.)

Yoritomo: Let's go back. If you stay up any later and are sleepy tomorrow, I'll be in trouble.

Yoritomo quickly flipped his haori and turned around, the corners of his lips lifting.

Yoritomo: I won't pull you up if you fall off your horse.

Yoshino: ...I won't be that sleepy!

I followed Yoritomo, hiding my feelings that were growing stronger day by day.

-

Meanwhile...

In a simple hut in a village near the battlefield, a secret meeting was taking place.

Yasuchika: For now, it seems like the shogunate has taken the initiative in the battle.

Subordinate 1: Yes. As expected, the shogunate not only has superior numbers, but Yoritomo-sama's leadership is also formidable.

Yasuchika was receiving reports from several subordinates.

Yasuchika: It would be troublesome if only the rebel army's forces were to be depleted.

Yasuchika: It can't be helped, so I'll have to interfere with the shogunate tomorrow.

Subordinate 2: Yes, sir. But are you sure it will work? I've never seen such a technique...

Yasuchika: Oh dear. You don't trust me?

Subordinate 2: N-No... I know you're a genius in Onmyodo.

The subordinates looked fearfully at Yasuchika, who was smiling but whose expression was unreadable.

Yasuchika: That's right. The power of belief creates miracles...

Yasuchika: Now, it's time for conspiracy.

-

The next day --

(The battle is even more intense than yesterday...)

Once again, I was riding on Yoritomo's horse, galloping across the battlefield.

Yoritomo: Yoshino.

Yoshino: Eek!

Yoritomo's sword casually deflected an arrow that came flying with a roar.

Yoritomo: Hey. I told you to keep your head down.

Yoshino: ...Thank you.

Yoritomo: It's getting chaotic. Don't let your guard down and hold on tight, okay?

Yoshino: Yes!

Yoritomo looked back and announced sonorously to the soldiers.

Yoritomo: The formation is already complete! Advance and tighten the encirclement!

In response to Yoritomo's voice, the shogunate's main force quickly changed.

(It's amazing no matter how many times I see it...)

Yoshino: Speaking of which, I wonder if Morinaga-san and Shigehira-kun, who are fighting on the front lines, are safe.

Yoritomo: So far, I haven't received any reports of them being killed.

Yoritomo: We're pushing the battle.

Yoshino: Really...?

Yoritomo: Yes.

I let out a small sigh of relief.

Yoritomo: As planned, Morinaga and Shigehira will strike the rebel army's main force from the left and right, dividing their forces.

Yoritomo: At the same time, we will attack from the front, scattering the enemy's detachments and going for Yoshitsune's throat.

Yoritomo: At that time, I want you to use your fox spirit power. Okay?

Yoshino: Yes, I'll do my best!

(I hope everything goes well without any problems.)

But--

The situation changed when the sun rose to its zenith.

-

Yoritomo: A large number of sudden illnesses?

Vassal: Yes! The cause is unknown, but many are unable to move.

(What happened...?)

Yoshino: Yoritomo-sama! May I examine them?

Yoritomo: Yes.

Yoritomo, still wearing the mask of the perfect Seii Taishogun, furrowed his brow slightly.

Yoritomo: Shall we hide in the mountains for now? It's easy prey to be immobilized in the middle of the battlefield.

Protecting the sick, we entered the mountains.

-

After taking refuge in an empty mountain temple, we laid dozens of sick people in a large room.

Yoritomo: Have you found anything, Yoshino?

Yoshino: No... The symptoms vary from person to person, such as fever, headache, and nausea...

Yoshino: There must be a reason why so many people suddenly fell ill.

Yoritomo: We can't make medicine without identifying the cause.

Yoshino: Yes... I'm sorry.

Yoritomo: It's not your fault.

Perhaps it was my anxiety, or the delirium of the sick, but the air in the room was heavy.

(I felt like the soldiers who weren't bedridden were also lacking in spirit and strangely on edge...)

As I was recalling the state of the soldiers resting in another room...

The sliding door of the room was suddenly opened.

Tamamo: Good grief, what a terrible smell.

Tamamo: A ditch after the rain would be somewhat better.

Yoshino: Tamamo!

Yoritomo: Why are you here?

Tamamo, who had entered, beckoned me and Yoritomo to the corner of the room.

Tamamo: I have a report.

Yoritomo: What is it?

Tamamo: It's about the outbreak of sudden illnesses. The same thing happened in the rear.

Tamamo: And... a large number of low-ranking ayakashi were possessing those who collapsed.

Yoshino: Ayakashi...? It wasn't just a normal illness?

Tamamo: Yeah. I took care of the ayakashi in the rear for now...

Tamamo: But Kagetoki asked me to check on the main force.

Tamamo spread his hands as if to say, "Oh well."

Tamamo: As expected, the smell of ayakashi was strong from the time I arrived here until now...

Yoritomo: So something is possessing them, even though we can't see their form.

Tamamo: Yes. Yoshino can see them if she wants to.

Yoshino: Me? How can I do that?

Tamamo: Here, let me help you.

Saying that, Tamamo gently took my hand.

Tamamo: I'll pour a little bit of my magic power into you.

Tamamo: Don't worry, your hair and eye color won't change.

Yoshino: Okay, I understand...!

As I nodded, the palm of my hand that was touching his became slightly warm.

Tamamo: Good. Now try to concentrate and look at the soldiers.

I followed his instructions and looked...

Yoshino: What's that!?

Yoritomo: Did you see something, Yoshino?

Yoshino: How should I put it... There's something gooey on everyone's heads!

Looking closely, I could see a dim, murky substance writhing eerily throughout the room.

Tamamo: That goo is a formless ayakashi born from human resentment and suffering.

Yoshino: There are ayakashi like that too...

I stared at it fearfully, still unable to believe it.

Tamamo: It's one of the ayakashi you often see in the human world. It originates from human emotions.

Tamamo: Well, it's supposed to only have the power to make people feel down or slightly ill...

Yoritomo: But it's caused quite a disaster, hasn't it?

Tamamo: There are just too many of them.

Tamamo: With this many gathered, it's not unreasonable for those with weak hearts to be affected.

(Those with weak hearts...)

Yoshino: Aside from Yoritomo-sama, I'm not affected at all...

I can't believe my heart is stronger than other samurai.

Yoritomo: Maybe it's because you're shameless?

Yoshino: You're being mean! I have a surprisingly delicate side too, you know.

Tamamo: You two are hopeless.

Tamamo interjected with an exasperated look on his face.

Tamamo: Yoshino is already contracted to me, so she won't be possessed by other ayakashi.

Tamamo: Since my magic power is flowing through her, she should be less susceptible to their influence.

Yoshino: I see... That makes sense.

Yoritomo: I see. It's good news that Yoshino won't collapse.

Yoritomo pointed at the lying soldiers.

Yoritomo: So, if Yoshino takes their magic power and exorcises the ayakashi, they'll get better, right?

Tamamo: For now. Yoshino, you should do it.

Yoshino: Okay!

(Ah, before that... If my hair color changes, it'll be very noticeable...)

I hurriedly pulled out the hood I had prepared in my luggage and put it on, covering my tied-up hair.

Yoshino: Then, I'll start.

Yoritomo: Yeah. I'll leave it to you.

I nervously walked up to one of the soldiers and gently knelt beside him.

I placed my hand near his head and concentrated.

(I want to heal this person. --So, take the magic power.)

My body felt hot, and the heavy air in the room started to move towards me.

Delicate particles of light appeared and were sucked into my palm...

The murky substance clinging to the soldier's head slowly disappeared.

Yoshino: I did it!

Soldier: U-uh... Yoshino-san?

Yoshino: Are you alright!?

The soldier who came to his senses opened his eyes in a daze and looked at me.

Soldier: Somehow, my body suddenly feels lighter... Did you treat me, Yoshino-san?

(Um...)

As I hesitated to answer, Yoritomo placed his hand on my back.

Yoritomo: Yes, it's thanks to her. Get some more sleep and try to recover.

Soldier: Y-Yes, sir! Yoritomo-sama, Yoshino-san, thank you...

I looked at the soldier who fell asleep again and nodded at Yoritomo and Tamamo.

(Let's make everyone feel better like this!)

And then...

-

Yoshino: This is the end of the "treatment" for everyone for now.

After taking the magic power of the ayakashi that had possessed everyone who had been bedridden, we went out to the corridor.

Yoritomo: Well done. Are you tired?

Yoshino: I'm fine! I'm glad everyone is feeling better...

Tamamo: But... unfortunately, this doesn't solve the root of the problem.

Tamamo: Considering the number of ayakashi I saw on the way here, they'll probably be possessed again soon.

(So, what should we do...?)

Yoshino: Do I have to take their magic power every time?

Yoritomo: Or cut off the root cause.

Yoshino: The root cause?

Tamamo: It's unnatural for such a large number of ayakashi to gather.

Tamamo: We can assume that someone is intentionally summoning and manipulating them.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 20

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[esamastation]

Part forty-three of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty, forty-one, forty-two,

-

"No, it was more like this? Legs bent more, and feet like this, yeah? I remember it because he corrected me on it, I had my foot aimed inside too much, and I wasn't in balance."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, he corrected me on that too…"

Kunsel looks between the two SOLDIERs, Second Class Keyes and Third Class Alme, both holding the same pose. "Okay, that's good, hold like that for a moment."

It had taken all his savings to buy a camera on short notice, especially one of the instant cameras, but it was well worth it. With it he managed to capture most of the Training Session second hand, photographing the other SOLDIERs doing what Sephiroth had taught them in that frantic session.

While the pictures develop, Kunsel takes out his notebook. "Okay, what did he say to you, exactly?"

The notebook is already full of quotes and lines from Sephiroth, some of them verified by other SOLDIERs word for word, others contested. The information and the pictures would soon be gathered into one easily distributable leaflet - already, most everyone he'd talked to wanted copies.

"When do you think it will be ready?" Alme asks eagerly.

"I think I got around to everyone - just James and Zadrian left," Kunsel says, adding final notes to the quotes. "They're out on a mission. I'll throw together a mock-up once I've gotten around to them."

"Let me know when, I'll proofread it for you."

"Will do," Kunsel says.

"Heads up," Keyes says. "It's the last batch."

Kunsel looks up to see the three SOLDIERs, the most recent ones to have been called into the labs, heading towards the lounge area. "Hey guys. Everything good?"

"I failed my affinity test," the youngest says while the others shrug uncomfortably. "I don't know if that's good or bad."

"Yeah," another one of them says, looking worried. "Does this mean we can't become Seconds?"

"No, no, the tests are for something else," Kunsel says reassuringly. "Some new thing they're trying. Everyone's going through them, and I don't think they will affect regular injections."

"Sunder passed the test, and he's having a time," Alme comments. "So I think you maybe got lucky."

"Oh, okay," the other Third looks a bit uneasy. "Um. I'm going to head out, I really need a shower. I'll see you guys later."

"Yeah," the quiet one agrees, and they head off together. The Third Class that spoke first waves them off but sticks around, looking worried.

Kunsel hums and glances at Alme. "What's going on with Sunder?"

"I don't know, but they've barely let him out of the labs," Alme says, a bit uncomfortable. "There are all these injections, and they want to keep him under observation for every one. Raiton and Decker are in there too."

"And a bunch of cadets," Keyes adds.

They're all quiet for a moment, uncomfortably aware of the fact that a lot of cadets are way below the usual recruitment age, because the SOLDIER program doesn't have a recruitment age, and trying for SOLDIER is an easy way to get to Infantry early.

"I guess whatever they're looking for, it's easier to get before SOLDIER Mako injections?" Keyes mutters.

"Or they just have a bigger pool of candidates," Kunsel agrees.

The youngest SOLDIER in their little circle looks confused. "Shouldn't that be a good thing? Aren't they coming up with, like, improvements to the program? Maybe the cadets will get better injections than we will."

There's another uncomfortable silence. "Maybe," Kunsel says slowly. 

The rumours of Sephiroth going all glowy before the Incident have been going through the SOLDIER floors, and it's not exactly a secret that it was something new and incredible. The fact that the Science Department is taking bigger interest in the SOLDIER program all of a sudden is without question related.

And there's the rumour of Sephiroth having been given an extra large dose of Mako just before the Incident. Everyone knows Sephiroth's Mako injections are the highest in the program. For anyone else, they'd just give them Mako Poisoning. If the Science Department is trying to recreate what happened to Sephiroth…

That's not something you can just talk about though.

"Genesis isn't happy about it," Keyes points out.

"The Crimson Commander?" the young SOLDIER asks excitedly. "Why not?"

"Well. Because. Uh." Keyes throws a helpless look at Kunsel.

"He's just worried the Science Department is getting a bit…" presumptuous and careless and injection-happy, never a good thing for the SOLDIER program, "... overzealous with their… improvements."

"Aren't improvements a good thing, though?"

Clearly the kid has never heard of the early days - when some SOLDIERs developed Mako stones in their insides. Or the ones that had to be put down. "We just hope they take some caution," Kunsel says awkwardly in face of the kid's confusion. "Mako isn't something you should throw around willy-nilly."

"... But isn't that what Shinra is all about?"

Kunsel laughs, and he's not the only one. "Ain't that the truth," Keyes says and claps the kid on the shoulder. "I gotta go get some sleep - I've got a night mission coming up. You got everything you needed, Kunsel?"

"Yeah, thanks. Good luck on your mission."

The SOLDIERs disperse, aside from the youngest, who stands there, still confused, scratching at the back of his head.

"I don't get it," the young Third Class says. "Did I say something funny?"

"Kinda," Kunsel admits with a smile. "Don't worry about it. You're pretty new, huh? Part of the last group that passed the candidate process?"

"Yeah! My name's Zack," the kid says and offers his hand. "Zack Fair. Nice to meetcha, sir!"

"Just call me Kunsel." They shake hands. "Are you getting the hang of everything alright?"

"It's been a bit weird lately, but yeah," the new Third Class says. "Mostly me and the others have been running around in the slums, taking out monsters."

That's what most Thirds do, yeah. "And how is that going?"

"Eh, I guess it's fine?" Zack shrugs. "I mean, we were given swords and stuff, and it's not like the beasties down there are much of a challenge. I come from Gongaga, and lemme tell you - after Touch Mes, everything else is easy."

Kunsel blinks at that declaration and then snorts. "Touch Mes - you mean the… frogs?"

Zack gives him a disgruntled look. "You don't know what they do, do you?"

"Well, I've heard about them…"

"They put you to sleep and then you wake up as a frog," Zack says. "They are a menace and the worst thing you will ever fight."

Kunsel laughs. "I guess you're well prepared for SOLDIER then, having already gone through the worst."

Zack grins and then gives him a curious look. "So, uh, why were you taking pictures before? Was it for some kind of magazine?"

Kunsel looks down at his notebook. The pictures have finished developing, showing Alme and Keyes striking poses. "Kinda - it's for a tutorial I'm putting together. You wanna take a look?"

-

Ducklings and a puppy

[loosesodamarble]

A Lesson for Young Lions

Summary: Before heading off to work, Fuegoleon takes a moment to impart some words of wisdom to his children (Laura's ocs Leon and Cyra, which I am borrowing for this impromptu fic). Genre: general Word count: ~800 A/N: A longer fic for @thoughtfullyrainynightmare's Fire Vermillion Month. Not really fitting the prompts of "autumn" or "favorite childhood memory" for this week. But I guess it's the FueLara kids being given a quick lesson that could impact their philosophies in the future so... maybe?

..........

Fuegoleon was just about to reach the door to his home when he heard a shout. Or rather two shouts.

“Papa, Papa!”

“Waaaiiiit!”

With warmth blooming in his chest, Fuegoleon turned around to see his children, Cyraleona and Leonidas coming down the stairs as quickly as their little bodies could carry them. Six years old and they were only becoming more energetic. Leon was a little bolder, skipping a step every now and again in his descent. Cyra was just as quick but her hold on the staircase railing to support her steps down hinting at some hesitation.

“My little pride,” Fuegoleon greeted the twins, getting down on one knee so he could embrace them once they were in arm’s reach. “Seeing me off for work?”

“Yeah, we gotta make sure you’re ready to do your best!” Leonidas answered with a nod.

“Well thank you for coming,” Fuegoleon stated. He kissed each child’s forehead and patted them on the head. “Work will be much easier now that I have your encouragement.”

Leonidas grinned and nodded to Fuegoleon. Cyraleona smiled too, but there was a sadness in her eyes.

“Cyra? Is something the matter?”

“Um… I dunno…” Cyraleaona’s eyes flicked to the side before meeting Fuegoleon’s gaze again. “Maybe?” She shook her head. “You can go to work, Papa.”

“Cyra, it’s okay. I can spare a few minutes for you.” Fuegoleon ran a hand over his daughter’s hair. Still, Cyra held her tongue. “Your papa can’t go and help the country if he’s worried that he can’t help his own child…”

“Ah.” After another moment of hesitation, Cyraleona muttered, “w-why do you need to work? If the kingdom is full of heroes like the Magic Knights, how come bad things still happen? Why are bad people still around?”

“To give papa a job!” Leonidas blurted out. “Bad things have to happen, otherwise the Magic Knights don’t have anything to do.”

“Leon, that’s not it at all,” Fuegoleon stated softly and with a shake of his head. Leon’s eyes went wide. “It’s quite the opposite. I have a job because bad things happen and I need to fix them.”

That made Leon frown. “Oh. Hm… So then what’s the real reason?”

Fuegoleon’s mouth pressed into a line.

That question pushed its way into Fuegoleon’s mind every now and then with his line of work. And for it to now be posed by his children…

How could Fuegoleon answer Cyraleona and Leonidas in a way that would make sense to them? In a way that would satisfy them?

“The world isn’t perfect.”

“Good and evil must exist in balance.”

“Some people are just evil.”

Far too simple and some were straight up incorrect beliefs.

But it wasn’t as though Fuegoleon could sit down and explain the complex situation of human psychology and actions and societal impacts. No. Cyraleona and Leonidas would learn that for themselves with time. To simply give a lecture on it, and while they’re still young, would lack any impact.

Fuegoleon took a deep breath.

“Cyra, you said that the kingdom is full of heroes earlier.” The girl nodded to Fuegoleon’s observation. “Well, it’s not quite true.”

The twins let out tiny gasps.

“This is a world that is not full of heroes. But rest assured that neither is it one full of villains,” Fuegoleon stated, casting glances between his kids. “It is a world full of people. People who do heroic things and people who do hurtful things. For better or worse, that’s the way it is.”

The twins were silent for a moment. A part of Fuegoleon worried that maybe he didn’t explain it simply enough for them to understand. Or maybe they were quiet because the answer had upset them.

When Fuegoleon opened his mouth to speak again, Leon piped up first.

“So any person can be nice or mean?" Leon asked bluntly, to which Fuegoleon nodded. "Okay then! I don’t want to be someone who does bad things, so I’m gonna do heroic stuff instead!” For a six-year-old, Leonidas showed a determination that might’ve been bigger than himself.

“Me too!” Cyra squeaked, her voice struggling to match Leon’s volume. “I’ll stop the bad things too when I grow up!”

Fuegoleon blinked a couple of times. A sigh of relief passed his lips.

His children were young, innocent, but already smart enough to grasp his lesson.

“Good, good. I look forward to the good you two can do in the future.” Fuegoleon punctuated his statement with another round of pats to their heads. “But now your papa needs to do his job.” He stood up. “But I’ll be back tonight, got it?”

“Yes Papa!” Cyra and Leon answered, both smiling with ease.

Fuegoleon left feeling lighter at heart and yet somewhat concerned. He could only hope that his kids’ hearts would continue to guide them on paths that led them to do kind things in the future. But, for the time being, he could rest assured that they were learning that they, and others, had a choice in who they were.