#sometimes in ways that we ourselves don't understand

[milagro-24]

Today's word:

Wait on God!

How many of us have questioned ourselves and despaired of wanting an immediate answer?

Today I leave you this reflection: It's not about what you want, it's about what God wants for you. And believe me, no matter how impatient we may be, this learning moment is

extraordinary. I know that waiting on God is a difficult task, because we are all waiting for something. A miracle. An answer. A dream. I don't know what you have asked for, but I know that what God has prepared is greater. Much larger. Sometimes having a plan thwarted is just God's way of

tell us that there is something bigger. Even if we don't see it. Even if we don't understand it. It has a purpose. Have faith, it will work. Trust and rest knowing that the greatest of all is the one who guides you.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

This is the follow-up to my research call. I really appreciate all the asks you've sent, it was eye-opening. I understand that sometimes it gets difficult to talk about things that show perhaps a more pettier/uglier side of ourselves, but we're human and as much as we try and act as if we have the right opinions all the time, that's mostly not the case.

Before I go on and talk about these asks, I want you to read them first. Please click on each screeshot because some of them are quite long. Tumblr only allows me to post 10 images, so if you don't see your ask here, it means I will add it in the next batch. I also want to mention that you can still send your asks, I decided to post all of them because I think this is an important topic.

I've noticed that a lot of us (including me, because I allowed myself to be anon for this little experiment too), are dealing with a lot of internal conflict between how we are supposed to think and what we actually believe.

Despite this being a way to share our feelings, a lot of people couldn't help but explain the rationalization behind it. Almost as an excuse for our behavior. We judge ourselves so much and there is this awful pressure of being the right type of fan, the right type of person, etc. We know we shouldn't judge the women in the rumors, but we still do. We are aware that our own personal issues are at the roots of why we react the way we do when we see these rumors, but we still feel miserable despite having self awareness.

Someone mentioned something about how it can be taboo to have a real talk about why are drawn so much to these relationships, real or not. I want to expand on that and say that it's also taboo to really express our feelings. Because it can make us look like crazy fangirls and not the mature fans that we are. It's expected to say "I'm happy for my bias either way and from now on I will not ship him romantically with his bandmate". When in fact, it has proven from your own stories, that people would also want to say "I feel weird and hurt because my beliefs don't match with the rumors".

There is no magic switch that will turn someone from shipping two bandmates to suddenly change their mind over night and that to not have an effect on that person and the way they think of their biases and of themselves too. It is about that idol dating rumor, but it is also about the stories we tell ourselves, about what we have come to believe for so long.

And then there are those who are firm in their belief and are displaying this assurance in their own logic and the way they interpret what they see.

There is also shame in judging our bias for their choices in potential partners. I find that absolutely normal. Sometimes we judge our best friend for their shitty choice of partner, why wouldn't we treat that idol the same way?

I'm not here to offer solutions in better dealing with it. I believe we are all aware of how being involved in kpop shipping and having a bias is affecting us on a personal level. Perhaps there's too much self awareness and we should instead have more fun 😅. No, my point was to offer more of a platform and a way to perhaps realize that we struggle with similar things and each can take away from this what they want.

[historicity-was-already-taken]

pixeljade: #it IS very much a complex issue and I feel like saying that has been pissing off a lot of folks on both sides #one fact i would add to the table is that the current actions against palestine DO constitute a genocide by definition #its a word i hear pro-Israel people get very upset by because they think it is inherently comparing this to the holocaust #but its not. some people DO and thats its own discussion. but calling it a “genocide” is simply accurate and undeniable

Speaking as someone who was that pro-Israel person in her teens and very early 20s, the reactions you're describing are 800% cognitive dissonance freak outs. Most of these people, like me, received either directly or indirectly from their Elders in the Jewish community a very trauma-induced and deeply emotional information about the history of this situation, which boils down to: "They tried to kill us all once and they didn't now we finally have returned to the Promised Land, the only place we have to shield ourselves against It Happening Again. Israel's detractors hate that Jews can defend themselves now, and if any of them, including the Palestinians, were to have their way, they'd see us all dead. We must defend ourselves at all costs, and not let anyone ever put us in existential danger as a people ever again."

And then to have some rando 19 year old who knows jack shit about your or your community or your community's trauma to get up in your face and start screaming at you about genocide? It's only going to trigger that intergenerational trauma, and cause the party being screamed at to dig deeper into their defensive, cognitive-dissonance fueled response. Which, if we were to boil that response down to a thought process, looks like "This person hates me and all Jews. They think we're a hive mind who don't deserve to live. Thank G-d for Israel."

What's complex, is that not everything in that trauma response is wrong, and not everything the dumbass 19 yo who has no interest in unpacking their own learned anti-Semitism was wrong.

Israel's actions towards Palestinian Arabs since 1948 does fit several definitions of genocide and/or ethnic cleansing. And many of the Westerners who scream about it the loudest are fairly openly anti-Semitic.

Now, as someone with big Holocaust intergenerational trauma in her family, I am sympathetic to the Jewish kid in this scenario. But cognitive dissonance is just that: the domain of a child. Adults understand that cognitive dissonance is a little voice in our head telling us "Hey comrade our discomfort with this is a little much. Maybe this is a learning opportunity?"

I mean, that's what I did. But it's difficult. Its uncomfortable, and that scares people. It's much easier to believe that "They call it the Naqba because they hate us and think our survival and access to national self-determination is a disaster,"* than it is to understand that "They call it the Naqba because it was the near total dispossession and ethnic cleansing of Palestinian Arab populations from their generational homes and properties."

And again, everything I'm saying here is a result of my journey from a hardcore Zionist-in-the-contemporary-sense child (though always left in terms of domestic US Politics), to a grown Holocaust historian who understands that Israel is no better and no worse than all the other nation states (for new readers, I understand the nation-state as a political entity, the logical end point of which is genocide and/or ethnic cleansing), and openly criticizes it on those grounds.

*A rabbi in a youth group I belonged to told me this almost verbatim when I was 15. And when you're 15 and somebody tells you they love you you're gonna believe them.

[ea-paperbits]

we have the fragments of people from 100s of years ago and slowly those fragments gets lesser and lesser with new generation and then new people are formed.

But deep down we are all have tiny fragment of homo erectus within us.

[foxxsong]

Really glad people could be so kind as to further prove to me that there's nowhere for people like me to safely be vulnerable nor are we allowed to point out when we're not Like That :)

[dragonfyre-creations]

I don't think I've ever poured so many of my physical attributes and so much of my heart and soul into a character design before in such a personal way before so fuck it whenever I finish the final design for Faeng and whatever I come up with I'm making her into my sona (dragonsona? Persona? Idk how this works lmfao)

(long dump in the tags and under the cut)

The last time I was even remotely connected this much to a character was when I designed Jaxsu, but honestly never truly made her my sona/main character, she was just the one I used most often in art pieces. I never really actually liked her lore and backstory enough because she was what I wanted to be instead of what I am/was. Jax isnt perfect either, but her parents love her and otherwise has friends and is loved unconditionally. She has a healthy relationship with everyone and everything. This is where the disconnect happened and where I actually started to dislike her despite her being my otherwise favorite character for awhile. Both Faeng and Jaxsu have ADHD and Autism but Jaxsu was able to put that towards a job and becoming a ship captain and winning a colosseum tournament. She's done all of these great things so even if she didn't have a healthy relationship with her parents they'd still love her because she's done something impressive and useful.

Faeng on the other hand, has to fight for everything. Her parents are important and have important jobs, and place all of these unreachable and unrealistic expectations on her and expect her to reach them with minimal effort and be perfect, but she can't no matter how hard she tries. She needs someone to explain it and break it down for her in steps so she understands what do to and how to do it so she doesn't mess it up. She's both strong and smart but it's not in practical "normal" ways or subjects. It's convoluted, It's not in the ways everyone wants her to be, she has no teachers to help her understand how to channel that strength and intelligence into something "useful" so she puts it towards the things she likes and wants to do, and thus struggles in a world that would otherwise be easy to navigate and conquer if she were "normal". Those that do understand her and try to help her are alienated by other people in an attempt to either punish both of them or force her to adapt to be somewhat passing as normal, if not then at least listen to what she's told to do. She does eventually make acquaintances but find that her twisted speech and weird explanations aren't worth trying to decipher and understand so they leave, they don't put in the effort to meet her halfway even though she's struggling and doing her best to speak in a way they'll understand.

Her parents acknowledge her differences but in a way that frames it as flawed and wrong, something that needs to be corrected, and push her to figure out her problems by herself, tearing down any support network she tries to build. She tries her damned hardest but it's not enough, it never is and never will be for them because she's not the perfect child they wanted. She showed promise in her younger years being a "gifted child" so she knows what love and acceptance lies in wait and what could be if she could just be normal and perfect. Her achievements and promise come and show in waves. She burns and fizzles out in one of the most virulent, painful ways possible after getting hurt trying to prove her worth yet again. She holds nothing but criticism, vitriol and contempt for herself because she can't claw her way back to where she was before, this time something happened and something is terribly, horribly wrong this time but she doesn't know that it is and can't figure it out, nor will anyone tell her. Whatever it is, left a mental and several physical injuries and it does nothing but deepen her self hatred and her parent's waning belief in her. She listens to false promises and praise of other people who do nothing but wish to manipulate and harm her but she stays because any form of praise is deemed good, she hungers for more and does worsening things.

She ignores the people who tell her that what she's doing is dangerous and will only end in disaster, because she doesn't believe them. If the people who are saying they're her friends are telling her that the people she hurts deserve it and that what she's doing is good, then surely she needs to believe them over strangers, right? Everything comes to a breaking point and shatters around her leaving her with quite literally nothing but her own self hatred, newfound rage and overbearing mental issues she needs to navigate once again to find out what hell it is and what's wrong with her now. She's scared of everyone and everything with the added bonus of now being hyper-aware and perceptive of people's mannerisms and behaviors, especially those who want to manipulate or harm her again. She wraps every vulnerable part of herself in metaphorical thorns and teeth to bite and maim whoever pries and digs into what she truly is, even people who want to understand her. She suffers at more than her own hand, forcing herself to deal with everything alone, until she finally meets someone that could be considered a true friend. She slowly opens up and helps them as much as they help her before everything comes crashing back down once again upon the reveal that they've been lying to her the entire time about very serious issues, and she's been used as nothing more than an attack dog once again. She burns every bridge and everyone around her in one final breakdown of rage before shutting down completely. One of the groups of friends she's shoved stay comes back and asks if she's ok. She doesn't understand why they're being kind, why they're concerned it why they care and tries to shove them away again. Every single day they still ask, talking even if there's no response from her, until she finally relents and breaks.

She's finally loved and accepted despite every fault and every flaw she has, and every time she tries to pull away out of fear of being an inconvenience they pull back twice as hard and remind her that she's able to just exist, she doesn't need to constantly be useful and that they care. She finally, finally is comfortable enough to let herself be accepted and then becomes the most clingy little shit, just as they do with her. But yeah, my own life has been very much of the same, especially the last part. Every time I go on another self-hatred spiral and drop off the face of the earth my MonHun bros give me a metaphorical slap to the face and remind me that I don't need to constantly prove my worth to everyone and prove that I'm useful, and that existing every once in awhile is more than enough. If that doesn't work then it's "you need to get your ass back over here because we're failing the Safi siege without the absolutely ridiculous amount of DPS your build Switchaxe does". I was not intending for her to be so much like me but goddamnit she's wormed her way into being my favorite now and I guess Mirage is no longer my impromptu sona

[allsadnshit]

Sometimes I think about my best friend in my 20's response to when I told her I was envious of how talented and skilled she was cause she was always the friend that was doing a million new hobbies and just really had it together in my eyes and she seemed so disappointed in me and said how she's always been perceived as "talented" for things she was not a natural at and had actually worked tirelessly hard to learn to do and how it's never a compliment to assume someone has something you don't simply because they got lucky because more often than not they were just as capable as you and just chose to take risks, dedicate time, push through discomforts or doubts that maybe you succumb to, and really earned things that are often nonchalantly disregarded by peers as having walking in with already in hand

And I feel like that conversation really changed me cause I've always been bad at school and been a slow learner so I just sort of decided I wasn't smart and it wasn't my fault I wasn't born with the same advantages of people around me and I think that's something we all do as self protection from the truth that the only thing truly keeping us from what we want is usually ourselves and our decisions about our own narratives that aren't actually in stone even if we see them that way

I realized my friend was actually just not a quitter, and that she also felt not good enough often but decided to keep going in times where I know I would have stopped in her place

And I feel like taking ownership of my life a lot in the last few years has made me understand her better, even with stuff like chronic illness that practically begs us to victimize ourselves and then that way of thinking makes us sicker and more dependent on others when we could be accepting help without considering ourselves so helpless

It's really weird interacting with anyone once I've realized so much of that because I see my old self in people when they talk to me like I have something they don't because I am finally making different choices than I used to and honestly it is very irritating regardless of intention

If you want something someone else has that doesn't give you permission to assume how they got it or what it is even like having it - and I think more and more people have decided it's not their fault how they are choosing to live and that's why they are so stuck

[solarpunkani]

You know what, while I'm doing hot takes. And this one may be obvious considering I'm actively contributing to hosting the Solarpunk Aesthetic Week event but like.

Dear everyone who's constantly deriding the aesthetic portions of the solarpunk movement/genre; do you just not understand that being able to visualize the future you want is immensely important to being able to work towards it? Being able to get other people on board with it?

When I first got interested in Solarpunk, it wasn't for the hot leftist takes about the top ways to dismantle the government for the people, or top tips on how to build your own solar panel apparatuses. What brought me in? Visions of a hopeful future. I learned and began to love the rest as I dove deeper into solarpunk circles, but there is no denying that my first intro to it--and likely many people's first intro to it--was via the art and aesthetic spheres. The term 'solarpunk' was literally coined to refer to the aesthetic movement, and we've been building up from there ever since.

'When are people going to realize the aesthetic parts don't matter and what really matters is praxis--' dude, the aesthetic parts do matter. Inspiring people does matter. Showing people visions of a hopeful future is immensely important, it's why so many people join this movement. We see glimpses of what a hopeful future could look like, through beautiful art or riveting stories, we're inspired by things like stained glass and organic designs and statues and fashion concepts--and then we think to ourselves 'how can we help make this future happen?' And we learn the praxis and we work towards the goals and we share it with others because that's just how we work.

Seeing isn't always believing, but sometimes in order to believe in something with your whole heart, it helps to be able to visualize what you want. For yourself and for others.

So yes. The aesthetic parts of solarpunk do matter. Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

[fairuzfan]

I have concern that I may still be technically zionist despite claiming to be pro-palestine. This is because I knew very little about Palestine when October 7th happened, so in the time since I have been reluctant to have a stance on a two-state or one-Palestinian-state solution. I know now that almost all of Isreal is stolen land and recognize Isreal only exists due to colonialism, it took me a long time to learn that but I know it now. Before I knew that, I knew that regardless of the prior history that in current day Palestine is being subjected to a genocide. However, I struggle with politics and therefore struggle with understanding how a one-Palestinian-state could be achieved and have concern about what would happen to any genuinely innocent people who live in Isreal. To be clear, Isreal as a whole is guilty and I just have concern about what will happen to the portion of people in Isreal who are just as horrified as the rest of the world at what their government is doing. I do not personally know any Palestinians, so I have not known who to talk to about this especially since I do not want to overstep in any way. Theres more context I could provide but I wont because this is roughly the gist of where I am currently at when it comes to my concerns about whether or not I am still zionist. Do you have any reccomendations as to what I can do about my concerns? I am not sure whether or not I am overstepping right now by asking you this, but I do not know any other Palestians on a personal level that I can go to.

hey thanks for sending this in. i think we all have zionist biases that we have to unlearn, even i catch myself falling for it sometimes. so it's not necessarily a moral failing if you're trying to undo the zionism you've been taught. thanks for trying to undo it!

i do want to correct you a bit thought, in that *all* of israel is stolen land because israel is a settler colonial society. until it is relabeled as "Palestine" it can't not be stolen land.

I guess my advice is that you read scholarship and perspectives on palestinian thought and heritage. i can't tell you what a free palestine will look like but i can tell you what i imagine it to be. but what i can tell you is that the state of israel is fully intent on erasing all traces of palestinian life no matter what.

i guess i can tell you why "two state solutions" don't really work because there is no.... prevention of settlement building in the west bank and they'll never really promote *not* settling in the west bank. like i really cannot imagine a world where there aren't settlers on palestinian land no matter the case. and that's even not allowing palestinians the right of return to their homes and expecting them to give up what they dedicated their lives to. many palestinians in the west bank and gaza are themselves refugees because they were displaced in '48. so no matter what, palestinians will always get the short end of the stick and told to "just deal with it."

plus, why are we concerned with the supposed future danger towards israelis when the current, very real danger towards palestinians exists? shouldn't we prioritize actual events over hypothetical ones? why should we concern ourselves with the future when for palestinians its not a guarantee? i have no idea what's going to happen to gaza, for example.... shouldn't we prioritize that gaza lives on today?

i think i would question why you think israelis are inherently in danger in a one state solution? like do you assume that palestinians will all universally commit violence on all israelis? is it because you believe that hamas wants to kill every single israeli jew no matter what? if so, i think that's where your problem lies — in the assumption that peace can only be achieved through segregation just in a lighter form (because the state of israel relies on segregation as a principal of its existence as a jewish state). what about the palestinians who fear living side by side with the same people who raped, tortured, and murdered them for 75 years, or advocated for their deaths? aren't they inherently in more danger?

i mean palestinians have consistently been painted as the villains for more than 75 years. like in every aspect. i think to really truly be antizionist you need to prioritize palestinian concerns and worries over israeli ones because of how.... unwilling much of the world is to even consider them.

approaching zionism from an idea of an inequality structure is also necessary — rather than assuming its a one off system, we examine it as a perpetuation of multiple types of systems of inequality embedded into one. i recommend the institute for the critical study of zionism (click) for more information on this. There's also this book by Ismail Zayid written in the 80's (click) about the longtime violence the ideology of zionism has done to multiple communities, not just palestinians.

Here's a great reading list by palipunk about different aspects of palestinian thought and culture (click). i suggest looking through them to help decolonize our way of thought.

i might add on to this later if i think of something else to say.

[theminecraftbee]

okay, so in a rare moment for me, there's a discourse thing i want to bring up, and that thing is. okay. so on iskall's stream there's this thing that can happen where someone brings up a criticism of his content or vault hunters. frequently it's self-evidently wrong, but sometimes it's not. and then iskall spends the next thirty minutes shadowboxing this guy, explaining himself, and completely derailed. and this is an iskall trait we all know and sigh bemusedly about, because he cares about the community and wants people to understand his intentions! he wants the community to understand his decisions!

however, it's not the community as a whole he's fighting; he is in fact, arguing with One Guy, who often doesn't represent the wider community, and who normally won't have their mind changed. hell, sometimes it's believable that they're satisfied having just managed to upset iskall, and they'll leave, no change to their mind, perfectly pleased that iskall's responding at all (that's what i firmly believe the people who poke at the 'you don't upload enough and that means you're falling off and a bad person' wound are trying to do, at least).

in the vault hunters community, we refer to this as iskall getting One Guyed, and it's typically viewed as bad, because it ends up focusing an entire moment on a single guy's negative opinion as opposed to on the larger picture. and it's an understandable thing to have happen! but it's frustrating to watch from the outside.

and so now i am looking at that cat poll. and the way everyone is still shadowboxing someone who has since apologized. and the way i would have never ever known about any of the negative comments about jellie if it weren't for fellow mcyt fans constantly putting them on my dash to dunk on them. and it's like. if you look through the notes most of them are just... normal? it's only a tiny few of people (and the pollrunner, who has since apologized) who were being dicks. it's a very, very ignorable demographic.

but. well. there was One Guy. and we had to correct them.

and folks, i don't know how to say that i almost never see "lol mcyt is cringe" type comments unless one of you puts it on my dash. both because i don't go looking through the notes of things that are likely to have them or go looking for reasons to be upset and because it's just... not that common! very frequently these days it is, in fact, One Guy!

i have almost never seen that poll on my dash without at least one instance of the One Guy. instead of being for fun, it's mostly become about explaining ourselves to someone who will not listen and will not change their minds, and treating this as a the whole of the Other Side of that poll, when most people are being... fine. they're fine! the majority of the people voting for the other side are doing it for perfectly normal reasons that don't require fighting about.

and man. let me tell you. after spending as long as i have watching vault hunters development? it can be just as frustrating to watch a fandom get One Guyed as it is to watch iskall.

[alastors-antlers]

Being someone who sees a lot of talk about shipping Alastor (sexually, romantically) in fanworks, I just want to take some time to talk about both sides of the issue. It's long, I know - please, please bear with me until the end, and I hope you'll understand what I mean in a bit.

I hope this helps someone, but as an aroace person who understands the frustration and hurt, this is often how it feels to me:

Alastor, being one of the limited cases of aspec rep that I've seen and one of even fewer which I actually enjoyed, means a lot to me.

That being said, his canon rep establishes that he's aroace but not much about how this factors into his life or relationships at all -- and when there's a gap in canon, I turn to fanfiction, which tends to spotlight characters' queerness even when the source material doesn't or can't. Don't we all want to see ourselves in the media we engage with?

When I pull up AO3, there are already a good number of fics about him. Great! Some of them are definitely incredible; but as I read on, it starts to seem like a lot of fics I see acknowledge that he's asexual or aromantic in some way but don't really factor that into the story. It reads like you could have written the story without keeping his queer identity in mind, and it would've come out the same.

Even when representation that does resonate with me exists, it starts to be exhausting to pick through the slash tags to see which ones are written in an aspec-coded way, so I wonder if it would be easier to not read anything with slash at all. On the other hand, when you filter ships out completely, only a tiny fraction of the fanworks are left.

People often respond that aspec people can have relationships, and I think we tend to know that. They can have sex, some can experience sexual attraction in select situations, they can romance others beyond romantic attraction -- any combination of things. But some aroace people don't want either, and sometimes we're struggling to see ourselves in how Alastor is typically portrayed.

Out of all of the fics, sex-repulsed, totally aromantic Alastor isn't seen much. And when Alastor's limited canon seems to be pretty supportive of a reading where he is those things...

Sometimes, you start to feel lost. If fics were evenly distributed along the aroace spectrum of experiences, wouldn't you expect more fics of him being the "totally uninterested" brand of aroace? But there aren't. People seem to have a preference toward seeing him in relationships. Even if they mean well, it can make you think: what does that say about how we view asexuality/aromanticism as a whole?

Is there something less interesting about Alastor, when romance is taken out of the picture? Do others find him less appealing as a character if they can't see him dating, or in love, or having sex or wanting it? Why do we need romance, when romance is already everywhere else, when it doesn't even feel like he was originally really interested? It brings to mind a struggle to be societally accepted, even today.

Even when it's not technically wrong to write Alastor as you see him, being told that we should all be able to ship him however we want can feel like this:

It brings to mind people who try to swing in with misinformed good intentions, telling us "oh, you're aromantic? but you can still have romantic relationships, right? so you can still be normal." when all we want is to be okay outside of the normal.

Or trying to find a partner who can be with us, out of everyone who tells us "I know you don't enjoy sex, and that's okay, but I can't have a romantic relationship with you without it." and being so tired of hoping for someone who gets it.

Or talking with peers, and hearing them all commiserate and fawn over their experiences with love, then telling them about someone you like non-romantically and getting "aww, it sounds like somebody's got a crush!" but not being believed when you tell them it's not like that at all.

Alastor is not a big deal, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. But in an allonormative world, it can feel like a sudden splash of cold water when we were expecting a warm fire to sit around. Even within this ecosystem, we squint to see ourselves reflected.

Society isn't built for us. It can be exhausting to be reminded of that.

~~~

I hope to support people writing Alastor as any variation of aspec, or not even aspec at all. At the end of the day, I think that fanon is really whatever you want it to be, and everyone has their own reasons for writing what they find enjoyable. They should be allowed to do so, and I want to believe that people do what they do with good intentions.

They want to imagine scenarios with the templates of characters they love, and that's okay; even beyond sexuality/queer identities/etc., fan interpretations of characters can be incredibly, wildly different from who they really are in the story anyway, and that's what I try to remind myself. But still, I also can't help feeling disappointed about the aroace representation we could have seen.

(Is Alastor canonically sex-repulsed? Uhh, maybe. If I had to guess, that'd be my top guess, but this might be a hot take: I wouldn't really say there's enough to go off of considering that this view is supported by Angel propositioning him both times, and it's not like Alastor is a particularly big fan of Angel at those points anyway lol)

To my fellow aroaces struggling with Alastor's fandom rep: if you need a break from it all; if you need to block the tags that you hate; if you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling; that's okay. It makes sense that you'd want more representation in a way that helps you feel seen and validated and less alone. I can't speak for everyone, but I think I get it.

I don't have any solutions for how you're feeling, because sometimes I'm feeling the same way. I understand that you want others to get your position and you have the right to express your feelings, but even if you're correct, often being angry or frustrated won't help change others' minds, so let's try to save our energy and take care of ourselves.

Something that helps me to think about is that even now, asexuality is gaining more visibility. We're gaining support. Real change is happening in the world that's helping incredible amounts of aspec people feel freer to be themselves. And maybe one day, we won't be reaching to protect our scraps of representation.

Let's fight until that day together <3

[aagneauu]

High value habits to elevate yourself 🥂✨

When the term "high value" is mentioned, we often think of things related exclusively to economic wealth, but being a high-value person is an attitude, an attribute founded on habits and a wealthy mentality. So today I wanted to mention a few habits that I personally perceive as something a person with strong standards apply on their lives. ✨

Sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language :b

1. Long-term mentality ✦

Enjoying yourself is very important, but when we only think about the things that give us temporary pleasure, is often very likely that we forget to take care about our future stability. For example, if you want to travel, the smart thing to do would be to save the money in order to be able to afford it, but how many times we just feel the urge to waste money on unnecessary stuff just to get that brief satisfaction, that bad habit will take us far from our goals. This rule can be applied on almost every aspect, and if you're able to stick to your goals and take decisions according to them, trust me, you'll get very far.

2. Invest ✦

Stop wasting and start investing; your money, your time and your energy. In terms of money, you obviously can spend some of it on pretty stuff, but instead of wasting your whole salary on things you want, a smarter move would be to use part of that money to invest it on something that potentially can give us another income, maybe there's a valuable peace of jewelry or clothing that not only we could use, but to sell and trade in the future, or even if you have enough money saved, you can invest in a property, to not only live in it, but to rent it. Our time and energy works in the same way, we could be wasting our time and energy with people that don't give us nothing we can learn from, and you're worth way more than that. Find people and habits that not only make you feel good and appreciated, but that will leave you something interesting for your personal growth, and remember, better alone than in a bad company.

3. Details matter ✦

How we talk, how we decide to present ourselves to the world, our values, the effort we put on what we make. Every little detail says something about us. For example, something as simple as spraying perfume before we go out makes a difference, or if you study, the amount of time and effort you decide to put on certain classes. Socially, what you decide to say, and to develop the hability to stay quiet when necessary. Maybe you think that those little things don't make a huge difference at the long-term, but when you see how your life can change drastically with every little step you take, you learn to pay attention to it.

4. Patience ✦

It is a strong word, it is even harder to apply to our lives sometimes. Being patient not only with people, but with our circumstances. Sometimes things that we don't like happens, and we don't even understand why because we thought that we did everything right, but everything happens for a reason, it's like a fruit, you could take it out of the tree earlier because you're hungry, but it isn't that mature and tasty, but if you just wait, resist the hunger, the fruit will be way better. That applies to money, emotional growth and life changes. Learn to understand that sometimes, pain will be the sign to something better than your current situation.

5. Stop following the crowd ✦

Set standards and learn what is good for you, if you just rely on others to decide what is best for you, or even worse; you know something is bad for you and still do it for others, then expect low quality experiences. People time to time will call you boring or even extreme just because you decide to be loyal to your values. If something that everyone is doing seems beneficial, do it, but because it gives you something valuable, not because of the crowd. You can apply this rule to everything; friends, money, and other experiences. The amount ot peace and comfort that you can get with this transformation is a huge life upgrade.

This were some topics that come to mind when the "high value" term is mentioned. And remember, no one is perfect and every little thing makes us unique. Life is a long journey that you can decide to upgrade with every little move.

Hope u enjoyed! ♡

[littlemoonastrology]

Astro Observations: The Moon ☽

The Moon represents aspects of our cognition and emotion: our memory, comfort zones, reactions, the way we feel fulfilled, where we are satisfied, the way we feel connected to others, nurture ourselves and others, and our intuition.

Not only that, but the Moon can also tell us what aspect of our life we need to nurture, watch over and protect in order to grow and how. When we direct this energy in the right area, it becomes easier to express and allows us to feel more fulfilled in life.

When the Moon is satisfied, it is how you know you are on the right path. Follow your dreams and become the person you want to be - the Moon will guide you... just be careful not to become too emotionally tied to things, overprotective, clingy - sometimes the Moon can also signify what you need to let go of in order to become the best version of you.

What you can also do to learn about this, is see where Cancer is in your chart (or see what sign your 4th House falls in, including the Planets inside of it)!

If you are someone with a Cancer Stellium (like me!); nurturing yourself, self improvement, letting go of things that don't serve you, feeling satisfied and comfortable (whilst still reaching your goals), becoming an individual whilst still feeling comfortable with people may be a priority for you. This may also mean you feel highly tied to your Moon placement, so follow it!

To see a brief explanation of what the Moon means in the Houses, see below!

~

Moon in 1st : You feel at your best when you are making the right impression to people, nurture your appearance and projects you find make you the happiest. You are highly intuitive, able to scope out people's intentions quickly (but this may also mean you could be the sort of person to wear your emotions on your sleeve) - be careful not to let people take advantage of you and manipulate you. Let go of those that make you feel bad about yourself, try to make you compromise for things you don't enjoy or always put you on the short end of the stick - put YOU first! You'll find then you can express your individuality a lot easier and move towards what you really enjoy.

Moon in 2nd : When you are investing your time and energy into something you care about it feels very satisfying to you. You enjoy making money and spending it on things that make you happy but for the long-term! (Maybe buying things to further a skill, home decoration maybe!). You are not someone who looks much into the short-term aspects of something - you want something stable you can rely on, trust and really enjoy in your life. Make sure to let go of those who try to sabotage the work you have done if you have a fixed vision of something or if you have strong morals. These kinds of people are not those that will stay in your life and will not invest useful energy into you - so don't spend it on them! Once you're doing that, you will be able to invest a lot more into yourself and your projects!

Moon in 3rd : Communication, growing your intelligence and critical thinking skills are very important to you! You may have a lot of interests/hobbies and enjoy researching/understanding those that give you satisfaction. You are a very curious person, always ready to learn more and grow intellectually. Speaking to people, journaling or engaging in learning about your interests may be a way to help you deal with negative emotions. Let go of people/situations that don't serve your interests and curious nature... and ESPECIALLY let go of people that treat your interests with negativity - you need to be able to learn/communicate and feel comfortable doing so! Once this has been done, you will feel a lot more comfortable with yourself, able to express your interests to a wider range of people.

Moon in 4th : Pay attention to how you feel around your family (or people that feel like family to you) as with this placement it may be pretty easy to get taken advantage of. It's very important you feel nurtured emotionally and secure in whatever setting you're in - you need to feel safe in order for you to grow. You're someone deeply compassionate, maybe with an intense nostalgic quality and get attached to things easily (or you went through a phase like that). When you start to feel unsafe, insecure in your surroundings, like you are being neglected this is how you know you are on the wrong path - maybe this even feels comfortable to you when it shouldn't! Your biggest lesson is to learn to let go, move towards what makes you feel safe and secure - like you can really be yourself and grow into who you want to be.

Moon in 5th : You are someone naturally very expressive and passionate, someone who shares their joy with others and makes others feel good about themselves! Your passions and creative expression are very important to you - they are something you love to share with the world and engage your time in! People or situations that limit this expression, make you feel depressed or make you part of a structure which makes you feel unsafe or unsatisfied should be avoided. You are someone who naturally already wants to commit to your passions and share their desires, learn about them and try new things - a routine may make you feel bored or stagnant. Once you've started avoiding those situations, you'll attract more people around you who want to see what you've been creating/performing!

Moon in 6th : You take care of your health and surroundings very well, maybe also have quite a strong work ethic (or you enjoy staying busy). You are someone who feels satisfied when developing your skills or when you feel capable in doing something, whether that be for people or yourself. If you start to feel like you are being taken advantage of, are confused with what someone wants exactly (maybe through manipulation) or when you start to doubt yourself, it can cause some serious sense of insecurity within you. Avoid vague situations and communicate as directly as possible - don't let people take advantage or be emotionally manipulative towards you to gain something. This will allow you to feel more confident in yourself, meaning you are able to set better boundaries so you can continue developing yourself and your skills to provide for those around you! You are capable, be careful not to burn yourself out!

Moon in 7th : You feel the most satisfied when you are around those you love and feel close to. You may have a reputation for being very kind or emotionally involved in your relationships, often giving as much as possible to your partner without much of a second thought - it makes you happy! Sometimes though, the people you meet may be pretty self serving and only really care about themselves and don't pay any attention to your feelings. This can make you feel alone, dissatisfied, neglected and is something you should avoid at all costs. You deserve to be loved and cared for just as much as anyone else - your needs matter too! Once you've started avoiding situations such as this - where you're giving and giving and not receiving (like a one-sided relationship, pay attention to rewards you receive too) and not getting any respect, you'll notice you start to become more assertive in yourself, able to stand up for what you want and deserve!

Moon in 8th : When you trust someone, you trust HARD or you find you can become pretty selfless to people who you are close to. This is someone very loyal, protective and would do anything to make sure their loved ones are okay! Vulnerability isn't easy depending on the sign, but when you become emotionally attached to someone - you get ATTACHED! However, be careful and avoid those who seek to use you for their gain whatever that may be (or they want you to give more than you can give). This can make you feel used, manipulated, unwanted - maybe even scared and you start to develop trust issues. You deserve someone who cares about your emotions and would be as loyal as you are to them, someone who can relate to you, someone you can really trust. Once you start avoiding those who make you feel used, you'll notice your mood drastically shifting and you start to become more open to new experiences, open to trusting.

Moon in 9th : You may be someone who really enjoys travelling, trying new foods, maybe some kind of introspection or academics - anything to quench your curiosity and excitement! You need to be able to explore all the different aspects of life and follow what you know will make you happiest - whether its a moral or an ambition, it gives you a deep sense of purpose most likely which is very satisfying for you. A major stressor may be those who seem not to care about what YOU want to do or are closed-minded to your opinions, let go of them! They don't serve you. You deserve to live the life you want to live without others telling you what to do and how to do it. You'll notice when you start to let these situations go, you become more open and committed goals you actually want to pursue even if it means you won't stick with it forever!

Moon in 10th : Ambitious is the perfect word to describe you! You may be quite career-oriented, or someone that directs their time to their own goals a lot of the time. You enjoy staying productive, working your way up something to be the best you can be and gain a lot of satisfaction from self-improvement possibly. Situations/people which make you feel stagnant, stuck in your comfort zone, like you can't actually progress in life should definitely be avoided. You're allowed to work on your own ambitions, don't let people sabotage them (especially family). You really want to be able to commit and dedicate yourself to something you genuinely want to do - so once you've started avoiding unhealthy situations which make you feel stuck and unworthy, you'll notice you feel a lot more motivated. Maybe your goals will become even clearer to you! Don't lose sight of what's important to you.

Moon in 11th : Your friend groups and ideologies are very very important to you and bring you a lot of happiness. Spending time with people that make you feel good, like you can relate to them and appreciate you for who you are is very satisfying - maybe you are in a few different friend groups and just enjoy meeting new people! However, it may be pretty easy to get caught up in situations or with people that make you feel inferior, excluded - or maybe this is something you are sensitive to. Avoid those who spend too much time talking about themselves - you're just as interesting and important as them! You have valid things to say! Once you stop worrying what those think of you and your opinions out of fear of being excluded or inferior or weird, you'll notice you start to build a friendship group that is just right for you. It will help you grow and feel nurtured, like you can express yourself properly.

Moon in 12th : You feel the most satisfied and nurtured when you are at peace, it's possible you do a lot of inner work or enjoy spending time on your own - sitting with your thoughts and feelings. Maybe you are even quite artistic, anything which allows you to feel more stable and settled, like you can grow in the way you want to. When people want to set very strict schedules on you, force you to a work ethic you don't want to be a part of it can be very stressful for you and is something you should let go of. Your emotional life deserves to be treated with respect - you deserve to feel at peace. Once you start to let go of these situations, you will notice you start to feel less anxious and more authentic to who you are - follow what gives you the deepest sense of peace and satisfaction.

~

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Take Care!

[lostfeb]

language learning is such a personal thing that there is no “right” or “wrong” way of doing it. it’s whatever works on bringing YOU closer to YOUR goal.

you want to watch tv shows but don’t really care for speaking with others? yay!! no speaking practice needed.

you want to learn quickly for an upcoming trip? yay! text book phrases and simple grammar.

you’re a beginner and it’s been 10 years? 2 weeks? 6 months? it doesn’t matter. as long as you are working towards bringing YOURSELF closer to what YOU want to achieve, you have succeeded: you are succeeding; you are doing great.

i find that so much demotivation comes from comparison and/or trying to follow other's advice too closely. if anki decks don't work for you, that's fine! if duolingo works well for you, then use it!

this language learning thing, it should be enjoyed. in the sea full of deceptive polyglot stories and videos on top of videos attempting to understand how to learn languages in "the fastest way possible" sometimes we should sit back and ask ourselves, "when is just learning things, enough"?

with that i hope you all continue working towards your dreams! whether you want to become a translator or just watch a few more movies in your target language, you can do it. i know you have it in you.

[theambitiouswoman]

Being Attracted To Toxicity Is A Sign We Need To Heal Something 🪞✨

When you find yourself drawn to toxic situations or people, it's often a hint that there's some healing to do on your end. Think of it like your mind's way of saying, "Hey, we've got some stuff to work through." It's pretty common to fall into patterns that feel familiar, even if they're not good for us. This could mean getting into relationships that mimic unhealthy ones from the past because they're what we know. If you've ever felt like you don't deserve nice things or good people, that might be low self-esteem talking, making you think it's okay to put up with bad behavior.

Then there's vulnerability. It can be scary, right? So sometimes, without even realizing it, we pick relationships that we know deep down aren't going to last. It's like keeping everyone at arm's length to avoid getting hurt. And let's not forget the drama factor. The ups and downs of a toxic relationship can feel like a rollercoaster, and somehow, we convince ourselves that it's all part of some grand, passionate love story. But it's not.

A lot of this goes back to unresolved issues from our past, maybe even from when we were kids. Working through these things usually means a bit of soul searching. Healing is about learning to value yourself, understanding what a healthy relationship looks like, dealing with any old wounds, and gradually moving towards relationships that actually make you feel good and at peace.

Realizing you're in this pattern is the first big step. Healing isn't something that happens overnight. It's a journey that involves a lot of self reflection, patience, and sometimes, leaning on friends or a therapist for support. So if you catch yourself in a cycle of toxic relationships, take it as a nudge from your psyche to start on a path to healing. It's all about taking care of you, building up that self love, and opening up to healthier, happier relationships with yourself and others.

[kryovene]

the 12th house

loosely based on the twelve houses by howard sasportas & liz greene

surrender, the collective, returning to source, unity

the 12h has an ominous reputation, rightfully so. 12h themes are very difficult for most of us to deal with. the 12h is about our yearning for the safety of the womb, to be surrounded by everything and nothing, to be complete and whole. we suffer the trauma of separation to be born and struggle to find that unity for the rest of our lives. our ego and individuality directly conflicts with this emptiness we subconsciously (usually) want to fill.

we want to be connected and return to source. we want to be bigger than ourselves. but we also are very attached to our identity. this internal struggle especially affects 12h placements. love, sex, drugs, prayer, and power are common things used to deal with this urge of being connected or blurring boundaries.

attachment and identity

most of the things we associate with our identity are external. if we lost everything - family, friends, money, housing - we would still be a person. we do not lose our personhood in losing these external factors. so what is our identity then? what is deeper that is not dependent on our outer world? how much of our inner world is also dependent on our perception of our outer world? does our identity change in losing these things, or was that not our identity in the first place? in the moment of losing them what is your identity? how can it change immediately if identity takes time to develop?

the signs through the 12h

aries 12h brings an unpredictable nature when dealing with these themes. these natives may be unaware of where their urgency comes from.

taurus 12h may not be aware of their need for security. they may try many of the strategies mentioned above to figure out what's missing.

gemini 12h has a lot of mental energy that can be hard to organize. they may not even know what to attach to their identity, but don't feel fully connected to source either.

cancer 12h has a lot of emotional energy to work through. probably very nostalgic. may base their identity on others.

leo 12h has their ego very dominant. they may not know that how they react is because of pride and ego. leans to extremes by either sacrificing only the self or only others. likely to seek power/influence

virgo 12h is very sensitive to the hardships of the collective. They want to help and heal others but they may not know how to do so, and this can cause issues with the self.

libra 12h may struggle a lot with the injustices of the world. they struggle to find their place in it all. they want to do the right thing for others but it's hard for them to know how to do right by themselves.

scorpio 12h brings a lot of doubt around the idea of a universal "source". they want to believe in the universe and generally just want to have faith - but life can sometimes beat them down.

sagittarius 12h is no stranger to the pain of the collective, but they don't like to show it. they feel something there but they shift their focus to the self and put surviving first.

capricorn 12h brings a serious attitude to the conflict between source and self. they feel the world's pain and want to work to change it. this may sacrifice their personal attachments.

aquarius 12h understands the importance of being connected to source. however, others may not understand or see them as someone connected, so they may struggle to express their concerns. may be self-sacrificing

pisces 12h is easily influenced by others and may have a changing identity. their ways for coping with being away from source can vary a lot due to impulsivity. this energy is inconsistent and hard to describe