#somewhere between act 1 and 2
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stonesunk · 4 months ago
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[ pray ] sender puts their hands together in a praying gesture as they silently plead with receiver / from maddie, enjoy
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Her  friends  pleading  face  made  saying  no  a  whole  lot  more  difficult  ,  ❝  it's  out  of  my  hands  ,  Maddie  ❞ sure  Caitlyn  could  put  in  a  good  word  for  her  ,  suggest  that  the  girl  was  ready  to  move  up  the  ranks  ,  but  pulling  those  kind  of  power  moves  was  not  the  kind  of  person  Caitlyn  wanted  to  be.
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❝  I'm  sure  that  you've  done  enough  ,  to  make  it  without  my  interference.  ❞ Caitlyn's  shrugged  turning  away  from  kind  ,  but  sad  eyes  -  she  was  feeling  uncomfortable  ,  the  position  she  was  in  was  not  a  good  one.  Since  losing  Vi  ,  Caitlyn  couldn't  truly  think  straight  -  every  decision  felt  wrong  ,  like  she  was  making  stupid  mistakes  she'd  have  never  made  before.  ❝  I'm  sorry  ❞.
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danielnelsen · 5 months ago
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huh i remember grymforge being really hard to navigate and really frustrating but it’s literally fine lmao. did everything except the actual forge today and that’s all i have left of act 1
#i will say. the first time i played i was a bit overwhelmed by the lore. didn’t know what was going on most of the time#turns out it’s easier to follow when you know the plot already lmao#excited to head into act 2 for a lot more durge-relevant plot#in terms of headcanons for my durge i think he’s probably worked out a lot of what’s going on at this point#like he must have figured out he’s a bhaalist at least#and i feel like the party has probably pieced together the fact that the absolute’s symbol is a combo of the dead three#it’s kinda funny because gale is the one who likes him the least but i feel like they must have some very productive conversations#oh but the fact that i’m about to finish act 1 means i can safely say ive locked myself out of gale’s romance (a shame but not unexpected)#but also astarion’s. i have no idea why#i mean. i feel like i read somewhere that you can only proposition 3 people at the camp celebration so by the time i talked to him—#i already had minthara shadowheart and lae’zel interested so all my options were to turn him down#idk what my goal is for romance. i feel like i shouldn’t have been going for astarion because ive already romanced him#but he has what is undeniably the most evil possible outcome of his companion quest that i think would be really interesting as durge#but alas. never mind. now i’m mostly between shadowheart and minthara#i think i’m expecting to go with minthara but itll be a while before i can actually lock that in#anyway. adamantine forge tomorrow and then onto act 2!#personal#ash plays bg3#also um. the reason grymforge was frustrating on my first playthrough is because i didn’t realise you could shoot the levers#so i ended up with my party split all over the place#also just generally having less of an idea of what i was doing in the game
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daretolovemyrambling · 5 months ago
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This Page in the artbook was hilarious. What 3 months without a Workplace Boyfriend does to a Guy.
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I love S1 Viktor x S2 Jayce so so much as a trope but sometimes I do have to laugh because technically the time between S1 Jayce and S2 Jayce is like... 3 months
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r4di0h3ad · 8 months ago
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just practice part 2
part 1!
pairings! bsf!jj x reader
in which! you cant stop thinking about the night you lost your virginity to jj…. even though you have a boyfriend
warnings! 18+ smut. cheating. fingering. oral sex (m. recieving) pnv sex. unprotected sex. not proof read.
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it had been two months since you lost your virginity to jj and almost a month and a half since you started officially dating your new boyfriend.
he was nice. he took you out to eat once a week, he bought you small gifts, he complimented you and you never argued. but the sex was just…bad. it was always over way too quickly and he never payed any attention to your body or what you wanted. you figured he was just one of those boys who was too scared to go down on a girl, which was fine, but it probably wouldn’t suit you in the long run.
you hadn’t been hanging around your friends very often, usually turning them down to go out with your boyfriend and jj was getting increasingly frustrated with this.
but every time you were around your friends, jj in particular, you couldn’t even look him in the eye. when you talked to him, all you thought about was the way he called you baby when he came on your stomach and the way he made you cum on his face. you felt so completely guilty for these thoughts, but nothing would stop them. you figured the best plan of action was to avoid him. not entirely, but just try not to be around him alone.
but, you did end up alone with jj by mistake one afternoon.
you had just finished surfing with kie as the swell had come in that day. you both planned to stay at the beach a little longer, but you were hungry and didn’t have any food. kie decided to go pick up something from the heyward’s shop and you went back to the chateau to grab a six pack, only to find jj working on his bike, his shirt off and his shorts dirty, probably from engine oil.
you didn’t say anything as you walked up the steps to the porch, but jj noticed you and called out.
“hey, y/n!” he yelled, wiping his hands off on a towel and throwing it on his bike. “thought you were gonna stay at the shore until later?”
you were in your damp bikini top and bottoms and a pair of sandals. you turned around at the sound of his voice and met his gaze.
“yeah..” you said. awkwardly. “i am, i was just grabbing some beers.” you turn back around, pulling open the screen door and stepping inside. once you’re in the kitchen with the refrigerator door cracked, you hear jj come into the château after you.
“what’s going on with you?” he asks, standing in the living room. you shut the refrigerator and look over at him with furrowed brows.
“what do you mean?” you question, although you knew exactly what he meant. you didn’t expect the confrontation to happen now of all times.
“don’t act like you don’t know.” he crosses his arms over his chest. “you’ve been weird around me ever since we..”
you didn’t want to hear him say it.
“jj, i’ve just been hanging around my boyfriend a lot,” you try to defend yourself, hoping he’ll stop questioning you. “i’m sorry i haven’t been talking to you. ‘been busy.”
he nods, biting his lip and looking down at the floor.
“do you regret it?” he asks, looking back up at you.
“what?” you shake your head. “no, i just-“
“you promised you wouldn’t make things weird between us and now you barely even talk to me.” jj said. “you sure i didn’t do something wrong?”
“no jj!” your voice raised slightly. “i-“ you cut yourself off, not knowing what to say. “it’s just that every time i try and talk to you, i think about what we did.” you blurt out, almost making it sound like you both murdered someone and hid the body. you made it sound like a crime, and it pogue rules, it technically was. “i thought that avoiding you was gonna take my mind off it until i got over it.”
he walks closer to the kitchen, tossing his hat somewhere on the counter.
“so you do regret it?” he questions, leaning against the counter and looking straight at you.
you shake your head no.
“i don’t, but it’s kind of wrong of me to think about you while my boyfriend’s fucking me.”
you realized what you said after it had already left your mouth and your eyes widened.
“what’d you say?” he asks, cocking his head a little at your admission, a barely visible smile playing on his lips.
“uh-“
you quickly turn around to open the fridge again, looking for some beers to take and get the hell up out of there.
“no, say it again.” jj pulls your arm, twisting you back around to face him so that your bodies were dangerously close together. your face flushed with embarrassment and your heart was thumping out of your chest.
“jj,” you say, shrugging off his touch. “i really gotta go back to the shore.” you say, but you weren’t moving. jj knew that wasn’t what you really wanted.
“i’m not stopping you.” he pulled back from you and leaned against the counter once again, showing that you had free will to leave, but you still didn’t budge. your feet were glued in place.
you wanted to kiss him so bad and get that ridiculous smile off his lips, but the thought of your boyfriend who did little to please you was the only thing that was keeping you from doing it. you bit the inside of your cheek, nervously. the tension between you two was going to make your head explode.
“he doesn’t fuck you like i do, does he?”
his words were your final straw.
you grabbed both sides of his face and instantly connected you lips with his. he kissed you back without a second thought, wrapping his arms around your waist. he backed you into the refrigerator as his lips moved perfectly with yours.
his fingers trailed down your hips and to your clothed core. he pulled away from the kiss to look at you, silently asking for permission for him to touch you, and you gave it.
still having you against the refrigerator’s surface, he skillfully moved your bikini bottoms to the side as two of his fingers sunk into your entrance. you were embarrassingly soaked already. you fight back a moan as he pulled out of you, just to slide right back in, hitting the spot he knew you needed.
“all this and i’ve barely even touched you?” he mocked, taking his fingers out of you and bringing them to his mouth. he looked you in the eyes as he sucked your slickness from his fingers. your lips were parted as you watched, desperately needing his hands on you again.
he then picked you up, his hands hooked under your thighs. you giggled as he carried you to the bedroom, kicking the door closed.
he gently placed you on the bed and reconnected his lips with yours, his tongue swiping yours. you reached to work on his belt, swiftly undoing it and pulling it off while never breaking the kiss. you slid his shorts down, his boxers barely hiding his desperation for you.
you palm him through the fabric, eliciting a groan from him against your lips that you needed to hear more of.
you sunk to your knees in front of him, yanking his boxers down and allowing his painfully hard cock to spring free. you took him in your hand, pumping a few times before your tongue poked through your lips to lick a long stripe from the base of his shaft to the tip.
he gently grabbed your hair, trying to pull you away, but you licked him again, which loosened his grip.
“you don’t have to-“ his eyes rolled back as you finally took him all in your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks as you sucked his cock. your hands were placed on his knees. the moan you heard from him encouraged you to keep going, although his tip was hitting the back of your throat and you were trying hard not to gag. “fuck- baby, you don’t have to do this.”
you pull him from your mouth, a string of spit connecting your lips with his tip.
“i want to.” you say before taking him in your mouth again. he tries to keep his eyes locked with yours, but his head falls back in pleasure, his fingers lacing into your hair.
you only knew how to do this because your boyfriend showed you. you had to keep your eyes closed the whole time so you could pretend it was jj.
his breathing was getting heavier with each rise and fall of his chest as soft moans and strings of curses fell from his lips. he couldn’t help but thrust his hips forward, forcing his cock farther into your mouth. there were tears brimming your eyes as you tried to focus on pleasuring him.
“fuck- m’not gonna last much longer like this.” he said.
you kept going, desperately wanting to bring him over the edge, but he pulled your hair back, taking you off of him.
“gotta stop you, princess.” he grabbed your hands and helped you up from your knees. you sat on the bed, pouting. he stood over you, brushing your hair out of your face and noticing your change of attitude. “didn’t wanna cum like that.”
as much as you wished you could make him cum by sucking him off, you couldn’t complain now that he was giving you attention.
his hands guided themselves to your waist, where he then told you to turn around so you were now on your hands and knees, your ass facing him. he was still standing as he held your hips from the edge of the bed. you felt his tip at your entrance.
“this okay?” he asked.
you give him a yes, and then you feel him slowly enter you. it felt so much different than when he had been on top of you before. there was a slight pain due to how much deeper he could push into you from this angle, but the pain melted into pleasure within seconds.
he pulled out just to drive himself back into you. his pace was slow until you adjusted to the position, and then he steadily began going faster. his fingers dug into the sides of your ass, pulling you into him with every thrust.
as he went harder, you gripped the sheets and stuffed your face into the mattress under you, trying to keep yourself quiet, but you couldn’t stop the moans that escaped your lips.
“fuck-“ jj cursed under his breath, his grip on you getting even harder. “feel so good, can’t get enough of this pussy”
his words brought you closer and his pace increased. you could feel him getting tenser, his thrusts getting sloppier.
“could have you like this every day if i could- shit.”
you were almost over the edge, the knot in your stomach threatening to undo.
“fuck- m’gonna cum princess” he moaned.
his last thrusts were deep and slow and they led you into perfect ecstasy. you came undone around his cock, moaning into the sheets right in time for him to pull out and finish on your back- your name leaving his mouth with curses and moans.
your body was limp when he cleaned your back with a towel, still in a haze from your orgasm.
“you okay?” he asked, running a hand down the middle of your back, feeling the ridges of your spine.
you nodded and sat up, grabbing your bikini from the floor and slipping it back on.
“kie is gonna kill me.” you say, slipping your sandals on your feet. “she’s not gonna believe any excuse i try to give her.”
“i’ll drive you down there.” jj offered. “i mean- are your legs alright to walk all the way to the shore or-“
you threw his shirt at his face and scoffed at him.
you had agreed to let him drive you to the beach while you fixed your hair in the visor mirror, trying to make yourself look presentable. although the whole way there you could only think about the words he said while he fucked you. you had no idea if he meant it or if it was just a thing he said in the moment. and this definitely wasn’t going to help save your thoughts about your boyfriend.
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a/n: don’t know if i will write a part 3 to this, but requests are open for any jj or rafe fic!
tag list! (comment or message to be added or removed!)
@ifilwtmfc @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @xcallmetaniax @moondustedlily @x-0-madi-0-x @tumb1rgir1z
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trashytracktales · 2 months ago
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teammate!lando x reader where they had a bet and she loses…so he makes her crawl to her, hump the pillow, rub her bare clit against his clothed crotch ALL WHILE HE RECORDS HER (with consent ofc)
Lights, Camera, Action! | LN⁴
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🔹️ summary ──── It was supposed to be a joke, then it became everything.
🔹️ pairing ──── Lando Norris x fem teammate!reader
🔹️ rating ──── explicit
🔹️ warnings ──── 18+, mature/sexual content, descriptive language, smut, nerdy!Lando, soft!dom Lando, recording (consensual), cushion humping, manhandling, orgasm from external stimulation, swearing, unprotected sex, mutual masturbation, overstimulation, playful teasing, camera kink??
🔹️ word count ──── 6.3k
🔹️ date ──── May 6, 2025
🔹️ a/n ──── How tf do I set my intention to go for PURE SMUT NO PLOT, yet still manage to write over 6k 😀 I don’t even know what’s this, nothing makes sense and we are living on a floating rock.
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Hear me out, I usually only link the song, but then I remembered about this music video and I almost had an aneurysm because of how well it fits. I recommend watching it after reading though. Anyway, ENJOY!!
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THE LAST RACE before the break fucked them both. Pretty hard. What was supposed to end with another 1-2 finish for the team turned into a disaster of strategy, pace, and pure bad luck.
Since getting back to Monaco, the fallout hasn’t left them alone. It’s pretty hard when everyone is talking about it; it can get lonely, too. Luckily for them, they’ve been texting back and forth for days, laced with sarcasm, blame, and just enough flirtation to keep the tension at its peak. However, neither of them said what they really wanted to say. But it was always there, between the lines as usual, and in the way her name popped up on his screen, making his stomach flip.
Every single time.
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The bar is loud enough to blur that tension and even Lando, with his no-alcohol rule, is loose and laughing. They dance and talk about anything but racing, and for a while it feels like neither of them are carrying the weight of disappointment.
Friends come and go through their circle, a few fans spot them and ask for pictures — which they take, grinning too wide and standing too close for their own good. Somewhere between the fourth round of mocktails, a familiar song starts pulsing through the speakers, and that’s when she brings up the bet, half-laughing, stepping in front of him like she did back in the garage when she dared him.
“If I finish behind you, I owe you a private dance,” she said, confidence dripping from every word. She’d qualified ahead of Lando, and was so confident she can finish ahead of him, too. But since every race is unpredictable and full of unknowns, she ended up taking the checkered flag after him.
It was a joke, anyway. But she can’t say with all her heart that she hasn’t thought about it at least a few couple of times. Besides, it’s Lando who’s been constantly reminding her throughout the past few days and, even if it was in jest, the curiosity made her spend hours staring at the ceiling of her room, imagining different scenarios.
Now, it’s late when the door to his apartment clicks shut behind them with a clean, satisfying noise. Lando tosses his keys into the ceramic bowl on the console with more force than necessary, and while the keys clatter, one nearly skids off the edge, forcing him to reach for it instinctively. She doesn’t say anything, although she can’t help but finding amusing that the inanimate objects always decide to act up only when her teammate’s patience seems so fragile.
The sudden movement makes Lando whine in exasperation as she watches him kick off his shoes and drag a hand through his curls.
The place is quiet, as if reflecting their inner agitation, silently burning within. He’s not bothering turning on more than a lamp, but it’s enough to bathe the whole living room in a pale silver glow, making everything seem even more intimate than it should be.
As they step further into the apartment, the same silence hits them both, because it’s not just the sudden absence of noise, but the weight of it. They’ve never been this quiet around each other before. Usually, they’re the chaos in the garage, either laughing too loud or teasing mid-debriefs, always bringing the kind of energy that makes their engineers roll their eyes but secretly love it. Now though, it’s the first time neither of them knows what to say. Or how to act.
“Cute place,” she says, partly to break the silence, but mostly because it really is. Spacious, stylish, not super tidy, but very Lando in that sense.
“You know you don’t have to make small talk, right?” he laughs. “It was a stupid bet to begin with, since I was always going to finish ahead of you anyway.”
Her jaw drops slightly at the cockiness in his tone. This is the Lando she knows and, in other circumstances, she would find his confidence hot, but right now it only makes her want to knock that look off his face. Or sit on it just to shut him up. Either works.
“Always eager to finish first? Got it,” the playful jab lands right where she intended without too much effort; it’s a split-second flicker in his expression, the twitch of his jaw, and the way his arms tense.
That’s the spot, she thinks. That’s where it bruises his ego, not because it’s crude, but because it’s enough to sting. Which only makes her want to push harder.
Lando’s grin flattens a bit. “Well, someone’s gotta lead the way,” he replies casually, even though he caught her double meaning phrase.
“Right. Leading the way because you can’t pace yourself,” she fires back.
He chuckles. “Sounds like an excuse from someone who couldn’t keep up.”
They’re toe-to-toe now, all bite and smirk and so much tension. She’s half a second from throwing a cushion at him just to knock that pretty smile off when she glances past his shoulder and, without another word, she steps forward, fingers brushing lightly against Lando’s arm as she urges him to move out of her way, wandering farther into his apartment like she owns the place.
“Interesting,” she mumbles. “I saw you with the camera before,” the girl continues as Lando turns to follow her silhouette. “How about you film me while I dance? Give you some new material for land0.mov?”
Lando’s expression twitches barely, but she’s still able to notice it. That small flash of disbelief, quickly masked by a half-laugh, like he’s not sure if she’s joking or just testing him.
“No way, mate,” says Lando, but it’s already too late.
She nods slowly, letting the weight of her intention settle in the air they share. His boyish smirk fades into curiosity in an instant. It’s like watching him put a helmet on: composed, dialed in, serious in a way most people rarely get to see.
To give him more space to process, she veers toward the low shelf by his TV, crouching slightly. “Let’s see. Which one’s your favorite?” she asks nonchalantly, running her fingers along the row of cameras lined up like little trophies; old film bodies, modern DSLRs, and a few point-and-shoots with scratched lenses.
Lando stares at her like she suddenly grew two more heads in the meantime. “You play too much, you know that?”
“Yeah,” she shrugs, glancing at him over her shoulder. “Which one?” she repeats.
He blinks, opening his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out at first. After he rubs the bridge of his nose, Lando exhales slowly. “The, uh… the Leica. Second from the left. Black one,” he instructs. “I rarely use it, which makes it special, I guess.”
She lifts it delicately, turning it over in her hands. It’s heavier than she expected, sleek and cool against her skin. “Nice,” she grins. “Bet it makes everything look expensive.”
Lando hums in agreement, “Only shoots what’s directly in front of it. Look,” he says, getting so close to her that he’s now towering over her frame, while pointing at the camera. “Fixed lens, see? No lazy zooming, but the resolution is insane. The tricky part is that you have to move it yourself to get the shot you want,” he continues.
She looks up at him, noticing a slight shy grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. And, just when she thought Lando couldn’t get any nerdier, she hears his voice again.
“It’s a twenty-eight millimeter lens. That’s not crazy wide,” he informs her. “If you stay in the middle, the background’s gonna fall off all soft and blurry. Makes it feel…” he trails off, clearing his throat. “Personal. It’s not even about perfect framing or whatever,” he rushes to add. “It just catches whatever’s there, no hiding.”
“Did you use it before?” she asks, curiosity pulling the words out of her mouth without having the time to think them through.
“I did,” he replies with a grin, giving her enough time to come up with her own scenarios before adding, “On my cars.”
She smiles, her eyes sparkling in the dim light of the room. “So. If I move, you have to follow, hm?”
Lando nods.
She sets the camera down gently, then leans against the wall beside the shelf with her arms crossed. She’s aware that what she’s suggesting it’s pure insanity, especially after what’s been happening between them lately.
“Okay,” she finally says, holding her hand toward him, palm open. “Can I see your phone for a sec?”
Lando frowns, trying to hide a curious smile. “Why?” he asks, sliding the phone from his pocket and unlocks it, handing it over with suspicion in his voice.
She only flashes him a smile back, thumbing through his apps until she finds the little Spotify icon. A few seconds later, the speakers come alive with a sultry bassline that wraps the room in a charged ambiance.
The teasing in her voice is easy to catch next time she asks, “You seriously have a sex playlist called sex playlist? Men are so predictable.”
He chuckles, “Yeah? What’s yours called?”
“I’ll send you the link,” she winks at him jokingly, but that still has an unexpected effect on Lando. Maybe because he’s starting to understand that his teammate is hardly ever joking, actually.
For a second that feels like a week, he doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak. Just watches her, every muscle in his body taut like he’s holding himself back from something that’s about to come out anyway. It has to. Because everything has a limit, and theirs was crossed from the moment she entered his apartment.
With a quiet exhale, she presses herself lightly against the wall, then pushes off and crosses the living room in steady, cat-like steps, taking his hand in hers, fingers threading through his. Her touch is warm and somehow reassuring, her palm so small and silky against his. She guides Lando toward the couch with intent as if this isn’t his own home, nudging him gently until he sits.
She breaks away then, walks back across the room, and returns with the Leica in hand. “Turn it on,” she says simply, with enough clarity behind her words.
Lando stares at her, dumbfounded for a beat, before the corner of his mouth twitches upward in disbelief. “You’re insane.”
“I trust you to capture the best in me,” she admits.
He lets out a heavy breath, something between a laugh and a groan, and flips the switch at her insistence. The familiar click of the camera waking up is giving Lando chills, but when he glances up again, his hands still adjusting the ISO, she’s already pulling the shirt over her head, revealing a black bra and her toned shoulders dusted in the dim light.
She tilts her head. “Just make sure I look good, Lando.”
With that, she starts moving as slow as possible, every inch of revealed skin feeling like it’s offered, not given.
Lando’s hands are steady on the camera, but for some reason, breathing doesn’t feel automatic anymore, and he’s currently aware of every shaky breath he takes. His fingers work on instinct, dialing the aperture wider, letting in the glow of the cool lighting. His pulse is racing, heavy in his throat, because he can see everything through the lens, but is still not ready to look at her in the flesh.
For her, it’s easy to notice how focused he is, so she glances straight into the camera on purpose, with a spark of mischief in her gaze, like she knows exactly what she’s doing. To him. As a result, Lando’s knee starts bouncing, restless, his breathing too shallow to be subtle. He can’t remember the last time he felt so tightly wound, but it doesn’t even matter because what happens now will stay with him for a long time, and this is all he needs to remember from now on.
And then, it gets worse.
He stares at her while she’s arching slightly as she undoes her bra clasp, letting it slide off her shoulders and onto the floor without breaking eye contact with the camera. At that, Lando looks away out of instinct — out of that last shred of decency clawing at him. But the camera stays trained on her, and when he lifts his gaze again, it’s like a dam breaks inside him. Violently. The hunger that flashes across his face is instant, and impossible to hide. He doesn’t even try, because what fool could ever take his eyes off her?
Lando adjusts himself without thinking, moving in sync with her teasing gestures as she peels her panties down her legs from under her skirt. He tells himself to stay focused and capture the sensuality of her body with the last fragment of professionalism that he possesses. But that’s a losing game when his own body is burning with need, and every subtle curve and line of her turns into a map that he’s desperate to explore as soon as possible.
His focus lingers on the swell of her breasts, her nipples tightening in the open air. It forces him to swallow hard, a deep ache growing both inside him and his pants, knowing how badly he wants to lean forward and suck them into his mouth, to feel the heat of her skin against his tongue.
The camera dips lower as she dances to the hypnotic rhythm of his music, and Lando keeps working with her, baring the elegant slope of her waist and the strong lines of her thighs. The way she stands there, so natural and confident, feels like a direct hit to his chest that he welcomes without hesitation or any intention of dodging. She’s pure femininity, and that throws him into a black hole made only of her, where the gravity is so strong that there’s no escape.
He’s so focused on her that he almost stops breathing in order to make sure he gets the perfect shot, every shot. That makes Lando’s hand tighten around the camera, his knuckles whitening from the pressure. But his body has a mind on its own, apparently, and his thighs flex like he’s one wrong move away from standing. From closing the distance between them. Against his will, though, he sits there, shivering with the effort to stay still.
“Come on, Norris,” she says, and her voice wakes him up from the trance her shapes put him in. “I’ve seen you take tighter corners at Spa with less hesitation.”
Even though he tries to, he can’t stop the throaty laugh that comes out of him. Only for a moment, Lando lowers the camera again, and lets himself, finally, finally, see her. And this time, he doesn’t look away. He watches her shamelessly, while reaching behind him to take a cushion that he ends up tossing onto the floor near his feet, nodding toward it.
“Go on, then. Show me how desperate you are.”
There is something about the way he says it that sends a thrill straight through her. She heard that Lando is direct when it comes to his wants and needs, but to feel it on her skin hits different. Her pulse suddenly stutters with excitement as she lowers herself in front of him, straddling the cushion, her body already anticipating the liberating feeling.
The moment her hips roll forward and her mouth falls open in surprise at the faint pleasure, Lando is right there, capturing every gasp, every twitch, and every sweet reaction like it’s the only thing that matters. His mind runs wild with all the places he aches to touch — his hand curled around her throat, palms squeezing her breasts, fingers digging into her hips to hold her still while he teases her until she begs.
The temptation claws at him, full throttle. But he forces himself to handle the camera like a pro, because more than anything, he wants her to see what he sees: how devastatingly beautiful she is like this, undone and bold. Through his own lens, she’s a vision, and giving her that full picture keeps him going.
From her perspective, noticing Lando’s determination sends a fresh wave of heat throughout her body, making her rock her hips a little harder, and that puts a tension in his shoulders. A type of need he didn’t feel before.
To stop herself from making more embarrassing sounds, she meets his gaze over the camera, mouth slightly open. “Is this good?” she asks, voice breathy and half-mocking, although there’s something real underneath. A dare. A plea.
Lando looks at her again, revealing a flushed face and his blown wide pupils. “Yeah, don’t stop,” he replies hoarsely.
Her thighs squeeze around the cushion from the moment she hears the first note in voice, the soft fabric teasing against her clit with every slow roll of her hips, pulling breathy sounds from her. Behind the camera, Lando tails closely as she grinds back and forth, his jaw clenching at the small sounds slipping past her lips.
“Shit, that’s hot. Are you always this needy?” he asks out of pure curiosity, but the question is mostly rhetorical; of course she is. Judging by the way her chest heaves and how she leans forward slightly to catch as much friction as possible, the answer is obvious.
She wants to push back against the power shift, but she’s too lost in the rhythmic movement of her body. And it’s not as if Lando’s wrong. Every gentle brush gets increasingly out of control, each desperate grind into the cushion sending small waves of pleasure straight to her nerves, making her fingers curl into the couch for balance. For the control she’s rapidly losing.
Her eyes flutter closed for a moment, mouth constantly parting as the pleasure spirals inside her like a coil wound too tight.
Lando’s fingers flex over the shutter release, but he’s barely present anymore. He’s completely absorbed by what is happening on the other side of his lens, and it’s her moan that pulls him out of it, just as the pressure builds. So he reaches out, his hand entering the frame like an unexpected guest. With ease, his fingers grab the edge of the cushion beneath her, and she pauses, blinking up at him, flushed and dazed, breathing heavily like she just stepped out of the car after a last-lap push. With one strong pull, he slides it out from under her, making her gasp in surprise, her body jolting at the sudden loss.
“Lando,” she exhales irritated.
She gets her hands onto his knees to steady herself, thighs still wobbly, but he’s not looking at her anymore. He’s too busy staring at the soaked fabric instead, darkened with heat and want and everything she didn’t say out loud.
“That good?” he asks, but the arrogance in his voice diminished, giving way to his sincere curiosity.
She shakes her head, looking up at him again. “Not faking it, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
The fact that she is as sincere in her statement, encourages Lando to take things to the next level, just to see how much he can push before it’s too much. He throws the cushion aside with a thud, his eyes lit up with need.
“Come here,” he orders in a gentle tone, patting his lap.
She’s stunned at his words initially, and the way they leave no room for teasing. But then she catches the way his tongue drags slowly across his bottom lip, leaving it wet and shining, and something inside her pushes her to get up. She realizes that there’s nothing she wouldn’t do if he asked.
With calculated steps, she climbs him patiently, her thighs spreading over him. They’ve been in each other’s personal space in the past, when they had to do silly challenges for McLaren to entertain the fans. Still, even though there’s a camera between them just like before, the air feels different, charged with desire, unknown, and heavy lust. Because this time, it’s just them.
When her body sinks onto his, the scabrous fabric of his jeans meets the soaked warmth between her legs, the weight making Lando groan silently, his little sound hitting her low in her stomach. His reaction encourages her to continue, shifting on top of him in order to find the best position, enough to grind against his bulge. It’s thick and hard beneath her, and the simple contact is already maddening. Yet not nearly enough, and the realization that he’s just as affected by this makes the coil in her stomach tighten further.
“Keep going,” he speaks again as he lifts her skirt up to her waist, going back to the camera and angling it to capture the way she moves against him, right where her skin meets the fabric of his pants.
Her palm comes around his bicep for suport, letting the instincts guide her further. The pressure she chased a moment ago is still there, but it’s different this time around. More intense.
Lando grunts, his free hand gripping her hip to show her the pattern to follow. She whimpers while that sweet ache comes back, her body trembling with need. In no time, she can move on her own, and because she’s such a fast learner, Lando points the camera closer, eager to capture the wetness soaking through.
“Fuckin’ hell,” he says. “You’re making such a mess,” he exhales, bringing his hand between her legs to feel it before he could even process his own action. His thumb finds her clit, rubbing it gently, keeping his eyes on her face the whole time, craving to catch every reaction.
She moans, one hand squeezing his arm harder as her body rocks forward, chasing the release that she hopes it’s not that far into the future, especially if his hips continue to twitch beneath her the way they do, so impatient and reliant on her.
Unfortunately, the time almost stops the moment their faces get close enough to kiss. She can feel the heat of his breath and the pull between them, and she’s sure he can feel it too. Her eyes flick to his mouth, and Lando’s eyes stay on her, but no one dares to close the small gap. Because somehow, that would be more intimate than all of this. Kissing would mean acknowledging what’s been burning between them for a while now. It would mean admitting this is real, and admitting will complicate everything in both their personal and professional lives.
And neither of them are ready to take that chance yet.
With that in mind, she doesn’t lean in. She just closes her eyes and grinds harder, her hips rolling against his hand and the hard line of his cock beneath her. The sensation amplifies fast, and Lando never stops working her with his thumb. Soon enough, her breath comes out in spasms and her thighs start to shake. Her pace intensifies, chasing the high that’s been teasing at the edges of her patience, feeling the mess she’s made slick against Lando’s pants with every desperate press on it. Still, his hand stays steady, rubbing perfectly against her clit, matching the rhythm of her hips like he knows exactly all the ways she wants — and craves — to be touched.
With Lando’s help, it doesn’t take long until her body finally seizes, hips jerking forward uncontrollably as pleasure crashes over her. He moves with her, a silent apology for stopping her earlier written into every precise touch, making sure this time she falls apart completely. Because of him.
Luckily, the camera captures everything: his hand on her, the wet spot she’s left on his pants, the way her skin flushes and seems to crave more with each passing second, and the way her thighs shake when the aftershocks hit. It catches the way she starts trembling, too, body overwhelmed, aching for something deeper, something only he can give her right now.
Only he gives her time to ride it out instead, feeling all the ways her walls flutter, hungry and empty, and the sound that tears from his throat is nothing but a helpless moan. The sensation alone, even without him inside her, is enough to make his head spin. It wrecks him completely, makes him ache with the violent need to know how it would feel to be buried deep inside her, to have her tight, needy pussy squeezing around him while she comes undone all over again. Because of him.
The girl barely registers the camera being placed in her hands until Lando nudges her chin. “Here. See for yourself.”
Except, she doesn’t want it. Not yet. By her own choice, she takes it gently from his hand, presses RECORD again and turns it around, placing it on the padded arm of the couch. Facing them. Remembering Lando’s voice earlier, casual and offhand when he said that the camera only captures what’s in front of it.
Her fingers move impatiently, drifting to the hem of his shirt, bunching it in her hands. “Since you let me finish first,” she rushes to explain.
With that, she pulls the shirt up, and he lifts his arms to help her, muscles tightening under skin slick with the faintest sheen of sweat. Once it’s off, she tosses it to the side, her eyes drinking him in. Lando is warm under her palms, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath, and she senses the same tension in him that’s barely holding him together.
She studies his face while her hand drifts lower, trailing down the center of his stomach, pausing at the waistband of his jeans. Carefully, she slips her hand inside, where she finds him hot and so painfully hard that it makes her mouth water. Without any instructions, her fingers curl around his soft skin, and the sight alone makes his stomach flip. She starts to stroke him teasing, but before she can go quicker, Lando grabs her wrist, groaning low in his throat.
“Just a sec,” he pants, voice cracking slightly. His hands are already moving, guiding her hips back over his lap with a need that borders on desperation.
This time, there’s no fabric between them, and her soaked heat presses directly against his length, making them both shuddering at the contact; skin on skin and no more barriers, just the unfiltered reality of what they both want. His hands find home on her hips, big and heavy, his control hanging by a thread.
Agonizingly slow, her clit slides along his hardness, slick and warm, sending sharp jolts of pleasure from one body to another. He can barely contain himself at the way she finds it so easy to rock against him, faster when she feels how thirsty Lando gets in a matter of seconds. He’s leaking already, the head of his cock glistening, smearing against her folds as she moves.
Completely flushed and utterly drunk with pleasure, he shifts beneath her, his arms wrapping tight around her waist, pulling her closer, even though there’s no physical space left between them. But it’s useless. No matter how close they are, there is only one way that would truly satisfy his urge.
“Please,” he whispers next to the shell of her ear, desperate and breathless. “Can I slide in?”
She’s a lost cause by now, and her reply is reduced to a broken hum, while she sits up just enough to guide the thick head of his cock to her entrance. Lando’s patience snaps at her quick response, and he thrusts his hips up in one motion, his hands holding her hips and pulling her down onto him at the same time. The stretch is overwhelming and takes her by surprise, knocking the wind out of her and making her vision blur at the edges as she tries to take all of him.
They moan together, helpless, her hands landing on his chest as she laughs shakily. “You trying to break me in half or?”
“Didn’t think you’d be so tight,” he groans in a strained voice.
Lando tries his best to take it slow, but the way she welcomes him, so warm and perfect, nearly undoes him the moment he’s all in. A shudder runs down his spine as he grips her hips with more force, thinking maybe if he doesn’t hold her right, the world will actually end.
And it may, based on how her hands are sliding up, clawing at his shoulders with her nails digging in to anchor herself. Her breath shudders out in short bursts as she does, her body struggling to adjust, to take everything he has to offer. All of him.
To test the waters, she starts circling her hips, hoping she’ll find the angle that makes her breath hitch, and when she does, it’s like lightning strikes between them. He’s impossibly deep, touching places inside her she didn’t even know could feel this good. Her pussy hugs him so tightly that Lando has to grit his teeth to shut himself up. Then she tilts her hips forward just slightly with every grind, rocking her clit perfectly against his pelvis while he’s buried inside her.
The effect she was looking for is instant, and she hears Lando choking on another moan, finally, “Fuck, yeah. Right there,” his fingers dig into her skin, hunger battling in his wide eyes. “Do that again, it feels so fucking good.”
“Shit, Lando,” she breaths out. “So deep, I can feel you everywhere.”
She pulls him in again and again, until he is practically whining beneath her. Seeing Lando so lost inside her makes her losing the rhythm, her breathing turning ragged, thighs ready to give up as exhaustion and pleasure blur into one. It’s messy and greedy on both sides, and when she finally collapses against his chest, she sobs out a cry, her voice cracking with it.
“Need you,” she exhales. “I can’t hold it anymore.”
Lando doesn’t waste a breath. One sharp, hungry movement and he’s planting his feet against the floor for leverage, thrusting up into her with everything he’s got. She gasps at the same time he groans deep in his chest, the sound vibrating between them as he finally takes her the way they’ve both needed.
Her mouth goes dry.
His jaw tightens.
Their breath grows heavier, shared in the tight, sweaty space. Her body tenses, then squeezes around him with such perfect pressure it leaves him breathless. A high-pitched moan spills from her, unexpected and honest, and she slaps a hand over her mouth, biting at it in order to shut herself up.
Gently, Lando catches her wrist, holding it firm. “If you’re gonna bite something,” he tilts his head, offering his shoulder, “Be a good girl and bite me instead.”
Her breathing is too fast and her mind runs at the speed of an F1 car. She can’t think straight and, for a moment, she just stays there, her forehead brushing the curve of his shoulder as she tries to catch herself from falling in too deep. Then slowly, like she’s giving in to something bigger than her, she places a kiss on his skin. Her lips press gently on it, trailing along the line of his neck to the dip of his collarbone. It’s the closest thing she’ll ever give him. The closest thing to letting herself feel for him.
He’s still warm, salty with sweat, and soft under her lips. And he smells so good, like skin and heat and something clean that clings to her nose and settles in her chest like smoke.
It drugs her.
The way his scent mixes with the feel of his breath against her temple, the way his pulse flutters beneath her lips — she has to stop. It’s too much, too close, too real.
“Think we should bet every race weekend, what do you say?” asks Lando, his pace quickening, hands guiding her up and down his cock like it’s the only thing that keeps him sane. “Would die to have you like this all the time, hm?”
“Mhm,” she grinds down until his name is all she can say. “Fuck. I’m so close.”
“Yeah, baby. I feel you.”
Her voice breaks off into a moan right when she’s about to speak again, to tell him not to go there and call her that. But Lando rolls his hips, pushing deeper, filling her inch by inch until there’s no space left, which shuts her up in an instant. They fuck in a rhythm that shouldn’t work, all sweat-slicked skin and shaky breaths. The air fills up with obscene sounds of them, their bodies colliding with enough force to make her whimper and moan his name all over again, each time he thrusts.
To help himself, he spreads her wider, holding her open for him, watching the way he disappears inside her, utterly wrecked by the sight. “Taking me so fucking well,” he says between thrusts, dragging his mouth over her jaw. “Look.”
She whines while looking down at where they’re joined. Lando moves his gaze on her expression with a grin on his face, so proud when he feels every spasm in her body; it’s a total mess. Her slick is all over him, coating his cock, his thighs, soaking through the waistband of his jeans that are still shoved only halfway down his hips. Each time they meet, there’s a wet sound echoing between them, sticky and warm, ricocheting against the walls in Lando’s living room like a drumbeat pulling them closer to the edge.
“You like how wrecked you’ve got me?”
She nods frantically, squeezing him so tight it makes Lando see stars. At that, he reaches up, brushing the strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ears with his long fingers. His hand stays there a moment, continuing to slide lower, fingertips skimming her jaw, then wrapping gently around her throat, enough to feel her pulse. To hold her in place.
In a matter of seconds, their eyes lock again. Her chest heaves and her eyes shine, but not just from pleasure. It’s because she wants to tell him that this isn’t what she expected. It’s much, much more, and it will leave a deep mark, no matter which path they’ll choose to take tomorrow morning.
His hands move hungrily, down from her neck to her chest, cupping her breasts, thumbs brushing over her nipples. He holds them carefully, wanting to memorize the shape, the weight, and the way they fill his palms, to make sure he won’t forget a single detail about her body.
“Lan,” she warns.
Lando hums, “Mhm. Right there with you, beautiful,” he assures her.
Her breathing is jagged, the rhythm of their hips desperate, chasing the edge that’s been teasing them since the moment she sank down onto him. Every motion drives him deeper, sends wave after wave crashing through her, because she’s right there for quite a while now.
“Hi there,” Lando’s voice brings her back. His hand comes up to cradle the back of her head, gently pulling her to see her face. “Look at me, I want to see you. Let me see you.”
Her body tenses, and just for a split second the frantic rhythm stutters, then finds its pace again as the orgasm rips through her with a blinding force. She keeps her eyes on his the whole time, riding it out with her hands burried in the curls at the back of his head. His hips jerk beneath her as he throbs inside her, overwhelmed by the way she fights to keep him in. It drives him crazy, and he moans loudly, trying to pull out, but her thighs close tighter around him.
“Inside,” she rushes to say, unable to form sentences longer than one word.
Lando’s jaw clenches so hard he feels like his teeth might snap from the force, every muscle in his body pulled tight and shivering. He holds on by a thread for half a second longer, but then her body flutters around him again, and with a loud, guttural gasp, he lets go, spilling inside her in thick pulses that only make her hold him tighter. His hands shake where they clutch at her hips, trying to pull her down even harder, like he can’t bear even a sliver of distance between them right in this moment.
None of them knows how much time passes like that, but neither of them moves again. She’s stays slumped against his chest, her face buried in the crook of his neck, while his arms stay locked around her waist, as if letting go might break whatever just happened between them.
Lando presses his cheek on the top of her head, his heart hammering so hard he’s sure she can feel it. But it’s fine, because he can feel hers, too.
His hands drift up and down her back in aimless strokes and, while she starts to come back to herself, she notices the music still playing softly around them, the same sultry beat from earlier floating through the air.
Her brows pinch together in confusion before realization hits. “How the fuck did you time your playlist so perfectly?”
Lando lets out a breathless laugh, “Talent.”
She snorts, dropping her head back onto his shoulder with a groan. “Goodness gracious, it is so hard tolerate you.”
“Liar,” he says, “You wanna kiss me so bad.”
She scoffs, rolling her eyes, but the way her cheeks heat up gives her away immediately. Lando laughs under his breath again, cocky and so annoyingly right. She opens her mouth to fire back, to tell him that no, she definitely doesn’t want to kiss his smug ass, but then her eyes catch the little red light blinking from across the couch.
The camera. Still recording.
She nudges him softly, grinning against the flush in her cheeks, and points at it. “Smile and wave, Norris,” she whispers, and Lando immediately flashes the most ridiculous smirk at the lens, making her laugh for real this time.
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ MASTERLIST . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
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© trashy track tales, 2025
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cheapshrimpysheep · 10 months ago
Text
Yuu Needs a Hug 1
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SUMMARY: What their comforting hugs are like when you're feeling sad or under the weather? And how would they behave if you started crying in their arms?
CHARACTERS: Heartslabyul (Riddle, Ace; Deuce; Cater; Trey); Savanaclaw (Leona; Jack; Ruggie) & Octavinelle (Azul; Jade; Floyd)
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Comfort; Bullet Points; In a Relationship
WORD COUNT: An average of 280 words per character.
COMMENTS: When I feel a little sad and under the weather, I often imagine these things to help me fall asleep. I thought you might like them too. 😘
Yuu Needs a Hug 2 (Scarabia / Pomefiore / Ignihyde / Diasomnia)
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CONTEXT: They are already in a relationship with you.
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All of Riddle’s hugs happen in private, and comfort hugs are far from the exception.
If he is in his dorm uniform, a very characteristic hug from him is using the cape to cover you like a blanket and as a sign of protection. With his left arm around you.
His most common hugs are the ones where he hugs you with one arm while continuing his duties with the other, like homework, or some dorm-related paperwork. And with the hand that hugs you, absently caressing your back or head.
If you are really feeling very under the blue, he will occasionally kiss your forehead.
He's not the type to hug you tight. His arms will generally be very relaxed and loose around you, as if resting. For someone who is always so uptight and strict, that means a lot.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, then yes, all his attention goes to you immediately and his hug tightens. One arm around your waist and the other on your head, encouraging you to cry all you need on his shoulder.
He will be extremely understanding and act calmly as he knows, and shows you, that it is a normal thing and that he knows it will pass, that you will be fine because he will always be there for you. He himself knows from experience how crying can do a person good, and you were always there for him at those times.
And when you feel better, he will wipe your tears with his handkerchief (I'm sure he carries one somewhere in his clothes) and kiss your forehead with a sweet and reassuring smile.
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Ace will gladly give you all the hugs you want. But he will always tease you saying that he wants something in return for every hug. But if you're really sad, he'll say he was joking.
If you really want hugs to make you feel better you'll have to ask in private, because in public he only gives you those more relaxed and playful hugs.
He can give you hugs standing up, but the ones he likes most are the ones when you're both lying on the couch. He likes to have you on top of him with your head against his chest and both of his arms around you, or to lie on his side between you and the back of the couch with one hand supporting his head and the other arm on top of you.
His main strategy to make you feel better is to talk about things that distract you. Generally silly things to tease you or make you laugh.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, he will panic a little and try to find out if it was something he said. After that, he will stop the jokes and hug you tighter and kiss your forehead.
He will be quieter than usual until your crying stops and only then will he return to his normal self.
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Deuce will be slightly awkward at first. This is most likely the first time someone has asked him for a hug as a form of comfort. And since he doesn't have much experience with hugs either, he's afraid of messing it up.
He will start by hugging you standing up. You will feel his arms feel more comfortable around you as you explain to him that there is no way he could do that wrong. There is no therapeutic technique, he just needs to act as he feels he should.
If you are on the couch you will be sitting side by side. Your head on his shoulder, one of his arms around you, and the other he always not knowing what to do with it.
It will take a long time for him to have confidence in his comforting hugs because he knows that he is not the type of person who knows how to comfort others, much less physically. But he will always try his best for you.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, he will panic a little and, if he only had one arm around you, he'll quickly put the other one around you too. And he will hug you like you are in danger.
Maybe you will calm down by trying to calm him down and you'll both end up laughing about it.
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Cater is the #best hugger! And as he is a person who likes to show affection, it doesn't matter if you two are alone or in public, he will give you all the hugs you need regardless.
Get ready for him to talk in that cute little voice like someone talking to a child. Not that he sees you as one, but he likes to talk and act cute.
And that's why his comfort hugs are also very cute, like someone hugging a teddy bear. He also gives you lots of kisses on your forehead and cheeks while hugging you.
Although he speaks in a cute way, he doesn't do it in a way that seems like he's minimizing your feelings, but rather in a way that tries to show that everything will be okay, that whatever it is will pass.
He can do this whether the two of you are standing together or if you are sitting on a couch. But in this last option, he will be so close to you that the most comfortable way for you to sit together is with you on his lap.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, he won't change the way he's acting, as if knowing he was doing everything right and you crying was a good sign and an important part of you feeling better in the end.
When your crying calms down or stops, he will smile at you, wipe the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs and say phrases like "Are you feeling better?" and "Everything will be okay."
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In the case of hugging you to make you feel better, Trey has no problem doing it in public if you need to. And he also reacts to your request as naturally as he would if you asked him to make you a sweet dessert.
You might even be surprised by how naturally he hugs you and the way he rubs his hands comfortingly on your back, if you didn't remember that he has younger siblings and probably has some experience comforting them.
He smiles and laughs softly the whole time, as if he finds your attitude cute.
He can do this standing up or, if you are sitting on a couch, sitting next to you. But only if you are alone will he let you sit on his lap.
The relaxed way he comforts you is almost parental, it must be that older brother side of him.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, he may become a little more serious, but he will always act calmly and comes across as having everything under control. One of his hands will also come from your back to the back of your head.
Once your crying calms down or even stops, he will wipe your tears either with a handkerchief he has or with his own blazer or shirt. He will smile at you, showing that everything is fine and ask if you would like one of his sweets to make you feel better.
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Leona cares so much about being seen hugging you publicly that the botanical garden became your spot to take naps together as unbothered as a lion in the middle of savannah. He always wants you to be his pillow, whether it's your thighs or your chest. BUT showing genuine affection is only in private.
He had already noticed that you were sadder than usual, but you were the one who had to ask him for a hug, he was too proud to offer you one non-ironically.
He will open his arms and smile smugly, but he won't be the one to initiate the hug. If you want it, you have to take it.
But as soon as you do, he'll wrap you in a surprisingly affectionate hug. If you're lying down like when he takes a nap with you, his hands will encourage you to come closer and lay your head on his chest. You've just discovered the only way you can reverse your usual roles.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, he will remain calm and surprise you again. He'll start giving you soft kisses on your face and forehead, the equivalent of when felines lick each other's ears as a show of affection.
His tranquility can be contagious, especially because the calm beat of his heart is a reassuring sound.
Only when he is sure that your crying has stopped and you are better will he speak again: *sigh* “You just give me work, herbivore. I just hope you at least thank me in some way.”
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Jack only hugs you in private! And if he ever does it in public, it's because he somehow forgot that you were in public and will quickly break the hug.
He is the complete opposite in private, after all he can be like a puppy: extremely affectionate if he feels comfortable with you. So it was always very common for you to cuddle on the couch.
His comforting hug ends up not being much different from usual, perhaps just less enthusiastic and more delicate. He likes having you in his arms, but he likes having his face close to yours more.
If you're sitting, he won't have any problem letting you sit on his lap and lay your head on his shoulder. He won't take his arms from around you, nor stop kissing your forehead and cheeks softly and affectionately. All his attention is on you, and his main purpose at that moment is to dedicate himself to you.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, he will hug you tighter and the small and calm kisses will turn into love attacks on your face. Do you know when service dogs jump at their owner when they are having a panic attack, for example? It's something like that he's doing, without fully realizing it. Ok, maybe just not as intensely as service dogs do, but with a lot of affection.
This gesture will most likely make you laugh and start telling him you're okay so he can calm down. Which will make you calm yourself down as a result.
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Ruggie doesn't really care if you're in public or not, he'll hug you regardless. And there's the bonus that when he hugs you in public, it's like marking territory and warning others.
He loves being cute and affectionate with you because he loves you being cute and affectionate with him back. He often does for you what he knows you would do for him. And a comforting hug is no different.
He will always tease with you a little at the beginning. "Aww, you want one of my special hugs? That’s so cute. But remember they are expensive, okay? You have to reward me later as a thanks.” He says this in a good mood that tries to put you at ease.
He will open his arms for you to hug him first and he will hold you in his embrace. He will be smiling playfully the whole time because he thinks it's funny how you can be so cute. And he will kiss your forehead with that same smile.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, his smile will fade. It was too serious for him to treat you with humor. He will tighten the hug and start saying sweet, soothing things in your ear like: "hey, don't worry. I'm sure everything will be fine."
When your crying calms down or even stops, he will smile at you again and say that it all made him hungry. What if you two went to eat something? Maybe, just maybe, he'll share some of his food with you if it's something you really like. But DO NOT get used to it!
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ONLY when you are alone, in the VIP Room, Azul likes it when you sit on his lap while he does the Mostro Lounge’s paperwork. It's a healthy balance between the stress of business and the pleasure of having you in his arms.
The only two exceptions to the rule that he doesn't like others seeing you two like this are Jade and Floyd. Why? Because he likes to brag to them about having you all to himself. ("By all means, cry about it.")
He will hug you like he always does when you two are in the VIP Room. One arm around your waist, surprisingly firm, and the other on the papers. His attention is divided between reading and signing the contracts and turning to give you sweet kisses on your face and/or, if you allow it, on your neck.
If he feels you hugging him in a more clingy way than usual, he will comment in a soft voice: “You know, if I could be in my merman form, I'd let my tentacles do the paperwork and give you all the attention of my arms. The inconvenience of having two legs. No offense of course.” If this can get even a little giggle out of you, he'll be very happy.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, his right hand will immediately let go of the pen and join his left in hugging you. He hugs you so tight it's like you're trapped in his loving embrace. He is worried about you, but he does everything he can to not show himself too worried.
“Just never forget that if there is anything I can do, you can ask. Anything. I will solve any problem for you... just for you...”
When your crying calms down or even stops, he will wipe your tears with a handkerchief and give you a pack of tissues. And when you're better, he'll give you one of his most tender kisses on your cheek.
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Jade doesn't like to draw attention, he prefers to observe others than to be observed. That's why his hugs are private, especially those comfort ones that you are asking for.
“You know you can open up to me whenever you need to, but keep doing it only when we're alone, okay? You never know who might be watching you looking for a weakne- I mean, a sensitive moment to use against you, my love.”
He's not much of a hugger in general, so all of his hugs end up being special. And since you're alone, he has no problem having you sit on his lap if you want.
His arms and hands are premeditatedly affectionate and attentive to you, as if he knew exactly how you liked to be hugged at that specific moment and he fulfilled these requirements to the letter. If there's one thing he knows how to do in a frighteningly perfect way, it's how to study and please others. And you are his biggest study interest.
Whatever you wanted him to do, he will know and do it. The way you want him to hug you, whether you want kisses or not, and how you want them.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, you will feel him, in a way, disappointed. With you or with himself, you don't know. “What is the mater? Did I not predict your desires correctly? It seems like I still have a lot to learn about you. How exciting.” He will kiss your forehead and let you cry on his shoulder.
He'll probably compare your crying to Azul's, making fun of him in that passive-aggressive way he does, and end up making you laugh.
When your crying calms down or even stops, he'll help clean your face and suggest that you two go to the Mostro Lounge, where he can prepare your favorite dish to make you feel better if you want. For free? Hmm... he can think about it.
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Floyd can be VERY clingy. He loves to hug you, especially in public. Whether he’s in a good mood or not. Which means that, as he hugs you a lot, he also has many different types of hugs.
The vast majority of his hugs are to satisfy him, but they end up satisfying you too. Don't worry, he never squeezed you. He jokes that he will do it, but never actually does.
No matter what mood he's in, he never refuses to give you a comforting hug. For 3 main reasons: 1st  an Octavinelle student never refuses someone's request for help. 2nd He thinks you're so absolutely cute asking him for a hug! It even makes him smile if he's in a bad mood. And 3rd You always give him the hugs he needs, it's only fair (even in terms of a deal) that he does the same for you.
He'll hug you, but he'll do what he wants in the meantime. Playing with your hair, resting his head on yours, swinging his legs if you are sitting down. And if you are, he will make you sit on his lap, it’s easier and more comfortable to hug you like this. He will probably also say silly things to pass the time or try to make you laugh.
If you happen to be so depressed to the point of crying, he will immediately shut up and if he was swinging his legs he will immediately stop too. He will straighten up, even if your head is resting on his chest. “You'll wash my clothes if you get them dirty, right Koebi-chan~?” He says this while stroking your head.
Even though he likes to provoke others, he has a perfect sense of limits, he just tends to ignore them most of the time. But it's different with you and that situation too.
When your crying stops, he will make you look at him, as if to check that the crying has stopped. If he confirms it, he will smile at you: "Is it over yet? YAY~! Can we make something fun now?”
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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nerdycheol · 4 months ago
Text
Love, On Air || Choi Seungcheol (valentine's special)
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♡ Pairing: choi seungcheol x f!reader
♡ Genre: best friends to lovers, romance, fluff, slice of life
♡ Word Count: 7.8k
note: Happy Valentine’s Day! 💖 This is a special Valentine’s edition based on the poll results(so if you voted—congrats, you manifested this 👀). A massive shoutout to @facethesunflower for proofreading and making sure this didn’t turn into a total disaster. 😆 Hope you enjoy this fluffy, slightly dramatic, finally-they-confess moment.
Remember: if your best friend is acting suspiciously like Cherry… maybe it’s time to connect the dots. 👀💕
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The clock hits 9 PM. You take a deep breath, adjusting the headphones on your ears as the familiar hum of the radio booth wraps around you. The room is small, dimly lit by the soft glow of the equipment and the neon sign flashing LIVE on the wall. 
"Alright, we’re live in 3... 2... 1..."
Your hand hovers over the soundboard as you smile into the mic. 
"Good evening, lovely listeners, and welcome back to The Heartbeat Hour, your go-to late-night show where we talk all things love, relationships, and everything in between," you say, your voice smooth and warm, like a cozy blanket on a cold night. "I’m your host, __ , and tonight is extra special because we’re in the heart of Valentine’s week. So, buckle up, folks—this week’s all about confessions, crushes, and, of course, giving you some advice to help you sort through your feelings."
You press the button for the first song request, the soft strains of a romantic ballad filling the room. As the music plays in the background, your eyes scan the requests that have been flooding in. The chat box is constantly ticking with messages—listeners asking for advice, sharing their love stories, or seeking songs that speak to their hearts. You feel that rush, the adrenaline of knowing you’re connected to so many people in real time.
"Now, I’ve got a message here from a listener who needs a little help," you say, pulling up the request. "This one’s from 'Cherry,' who writes in: ‘I’ve been crushing on someone for a while, but I’m not sure how to confess. Any advice?’"
You let out a small breath, your fingers tapping rhythmically on the desk as you think. This one’s a classic. You've seen it all before, but every confession still feels fresh. You smile softly into the mic.
"Ah, 'Cherry,' I get it. Confessing your feelings can be scary, but it’s also one of the most real things you can do. Here’s my advice: Keep it simple. No need for grand gestures, no elaborate speeches. Sometimes, the best way to let someone know how you feel is through a small, sincere gesture. Maybe write a note or give them a little gift that shows you’ve been thinking about them. And when you tell them how you feel, just be honest—there’s no such thing as a perfect confession. Just be you."
You pause, feeling the warmth of the words settle into your heart. The music swells in the background, adding to the ambiance of the moment.
"Remember, 'Cherry,' it’s not about getting it perfect—it’s about being brave enough to say it. And hey, the worst that can happen is they don’t feel the same way. But you know what? You’ve still won because you were true to yourself. So take a deep breath and go for it. You got this.”
You let the silence linger for a moment, Cherry’s words still hanging in the air. Then, with a small smile, you reached for the controls.
"Alright, Cherry, and everyone out there holding onto feelings they haven’t found the words for—this one’s for you. Maybe it’ll give you the courage to say what’s in your heart, or at the very least, remind you that you’re not alone."
With a soft click, the studio filled with the delicate, wistful melody of "From the start" by Laufey—a song that is the ultimate friends to lovers song for all delusional daydreams.
Leaning back in your chair, you glanced out at the city lights reflecting against the glass. Somewhere, maybe Cherry was listening, hesitating over a letter they weren’t sure they’d ever send. Or maybe, just maybe, they had already begun writing.
After an hour of song requests, confessions, and quiet laughter shared through the airwaves, the LIVE sign dims. You take off your headphones, stretching your neck as the studio falls into silence. Another night, another show wrapped up.
Gathering your notes, you stack them neatly before grabbing your now-lukewarm latte from the desk. The faint chatter of coworkers drifts through the halls—other RJs wrapping up, producers discussing schedules.
"Great show tonight, ___," someone calls out in passing.
"Thanks! See you tomorrow!" you reply with a small smile, pulling on your coat.
Near the exit, your producer glances up. "Don’t forget—tomorrow’s segment is longer for the Valentine’s special. Get some rest!"
"Got it. Night, everyone!"
Pushing open the station doors, you step into the cool night air. The city hums in the distance, but here, it’s quiet—still. You take a slow sip of your latte, savoring the warmth against the crisp breeze.
And then, just a few steps away, you see him.
Leaning against his car, hands tucked into his coat pockets, Seungcheol watches you. The street lamp casts a soft glow over him, catching the faint curve of his lips.
You stop in front of Seungcheol, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?"
He tilts his head, acting like it’s the most casual thing in the world. "I was just passing through."
You narrow your eyes. "Passing through? Your workplace is nowhere near here."
"Okay, fine," he chuckles, pushing himself off the car. "I thought I’d pick you up. It’s been a while since we had dinner together."
"Ah, I see. You missed me." You smirk, taking another sip of your latte.
"Don’t flatter yourself, " he scoffs, but the amusement in his eyes gives him away.
You let out a laugh, shaking your head before walking around the car. "Alright, alright. Let’s go before you start crying about how I never have time for you."
He pulls open the passenger door for you with a teasing bow. "Your chariot awaits, my lady."
Rolling your eyes at his theatrics, you slip inside, and he shuts the door before making his way to the driver’s seat.
As he starts the engine, Seungcheol glances at you. "Nice show today."
You blink. "Oh? What’s up, Choiseung? You’re complimenting me?" You raise an eyebrow, grinning.
He scoffs, shaking his head. "Forget it. Should’ve just let you believe no one listens to your rambling at night."
"Too late. I’m taking this to heart forever," you joke, leaning back in your seat.
A few minutes into the drive, Seungcheol reaches into his coat pocket and hands you a neatly folded envelope.
"Here."
You glance at it, then at him. "What’s this?"
"Just open it."
Curious, you unfold the letter inside. His familiar handwriting stretches across the page, carefully written, filled with warmth. It’s a simple note—thanking you for being in his life, for always listening, for just being you.
Your heart softens as you read.
"Ohh, Cheol... this is so sweet. Thank you so much, friend." You smile, touched by the gesture.
The moment the word leaves your lips, he freezes—just for a second.
Then, with a short nod, he looks away, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter.
"Yeah… friend." His voice is light, but something about it feels off.
You don’t notice. Or maybe, you just don’t understand.
"Hm? Did you say something?"
"Nothing," he clears his throat, turning into a street. "We should hurry before the restaurant gets packed."
You let it go, tucking the letter safely into your bag as the city lights blur past.
Dinner is simple—warm bowls of stew and easy conversation. You catch up on each other’s lives, laugh over childhood memories, and argue over who should pay the bill (which Seungcheol wins, as always). It’s comfortable, familiar—just like it’s always been.
But every now and then, Seungcheol watches you with something unreadable in his gaze. Something just beneath the surface.
Later, he pulls up in front of your place.
"Thanks for dinner, Choiseung." You grin, unbuckling your seatbelt.
"Yeah, yeah. You can pay next time."
"I’ll believe that when it happens." You laugh, stepping out of the car. "Goodnight!"
He waits until you disappear inside, only driving off once your lights flicker on.
And then he waits.
Seated in his car, he watches as your silhouette moves around the room. It’s only when your lights finally turn off that he exhales, rubbing the back of his neck before driving away into the quiet night.
The next day passes in a blur of work, coffee, and the usual routine. You go through meetings, reply to emails, and try not to fall asleep at your desk. It’s just another regular day—until night falls, and you’re back in the studio, headphones on, mic live, slipping into the comfort of your show.
"And that was 'Moonlight' to set the mood for tonight," you say, adjusting the volume on the console. "Now, let’s see what’s on your mind, listeners. Late-night confessions, random thoughts, love letters—I'm here for it all."
A familiar name pops up in the chat, and you smile.
"Ah, a message from ‘Cherry’ again," you muse, skimming through it.
"So, Cherry says: ‘I wrote them my feelings, but I feel like they didn't get the hint. Any advice?’”
You lean back, thoughtful.
"Confessions are tricky, aren’t they? But if words feel too heavy, why not try something else?"
You pause, then smile.
"Here’s an idea—make a playlist. Fill it with songs that subtly express your feelings, and share it with them. You can name it something meaningful, like ‘For You’ or ‘Songs That Remind Me of You.’ Maybe they’ll get the hint, maybe they won’t, but either way… music has a way of saying what we can’t."
A soft melody plays as you set up the next song, your voice lowering.
"Speaking of confessions… Cherry, this one’s for you."
___
After the show, you gather your things, stretching as the familiar hum of the studio fades into the quiet of the night. Stepping outside, the cool air brushes against your skin—and there he is, leaning against his car, arms crossed, waiting.
"You again?" You arch a brow, teasing.
Seungcheol smirks. "What can I say? Madam needs her personal chauffeur." He pushes off the car, opening the door for you with a playful grin.
You scoff, rolling your eyes as you slide in. "More like my chauffeur needs his daily dose of validation."
He chuckles, shutting the door before rounding the car. "Can you blame me? Gotta make sure my most important passenger gets home safe."
You shake your head, biting back a smile as he starts the engine. The familiar warmth of routine settles between you, comfortable and unspoken.
As you drive, soft music fills the space—a melody unfamiliar yet strangely intimate. You pause, listening. It’s not his usual sound. Gone are the heavy beats and sharp rhythms he prefers. Instead, the speakers hum with gentle tunes, lyrics drenched in longing.
You glance at him, amusement flickering in your gaze. "Since when did your taste in music change this much?"
His fingers flex over the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road. "Dunno. Just felt like switching things up."
You hum along absentmindedly, letting the melody wrap around you, comforting in ways you don’t fully understand.
Seungcheol exhales quietly, gripping the wheel a little tighter, sneaking a glance your way. Because this playlist isn’t just a mix of songs—it’s a confession. One he can only hope you’ll hear.
As Seungcheol pulls up in front of your place, he shifts the car into park but doesn’t make a move to unlock the doors just yet. Instead, he drums his fingers against the steering wheel, stealing a glance your way.
"__, since tomorrow’s the weekend... you wanna hang out?" His voice is casual, but there’s something just a little hesitant in the way he says it.
You turn to him, brows raised. "Sure. Where?"
Seungcheol clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks away. "Nothing much… just the amusement park. Maybe a café after, y’know."
You blink before breaking into a small smile. "Huh, it’s been a while since we’ve gone there."
He nods, still avoiding your eyes. "Yeah. Thought it might be fun."
You tilt your head, watching him for a second before nudging his arm. "Well, if you’re paying, I’m definitely in."
He scoffs, rolling his eyes but grinning nonetheless. "Yeah, yeah. Just don’t go overboard with the snacks."
You laugh, reaching for the door handle. "No promises. See you tomorrow, Choiseung."
As you step out, he waits, watching until your lights flicker on inside. Only then does he drive off, the soft hum of the playlist still playing in the background.
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The next day, the weekend air carries a hint of excitement as you step outside, spotting Seungcheol waiting by his car. Dressed casually in a hoodie and jeans, he looks effortlessly relaxed—except for the way he keeps checking his phone, as if trying to act nonchalant.
"Wow, you’re actually on time today," you tease, walking up to him.
He scoffs, sliding his phone into his pocket. "Please, I was born punctual."
You snort. "Sure, if 'punctual' means making me wait at least ten minutes every time."
Seungcheol rolls his eyes but opens the car door for you anyway, his usual playful smirk tugging at his lips. "Just get in, before I make you walk to the amusement park."
You laugh, sliding in as he rounds the car. Soon, you're both on the road, the soft hum of music playing in the background.
"So, what’s the plan, tour guide?" you ask, glancing at him.
He shrugs, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "Nothing fancy. Just rides, food, and you trying not to chicken out on the roller coasters."
You gasp dramatically. "Excuse you, I do not chicken out—"
"You literally backed out last time," he deadpans, making you groan in protest.
The banter continues, filling the car with laughter as the amusement park comes into view, the vibrant lights and distant screams of thrill-seekers setting the perfect scene for the day ahead.
As Seungcheol parks the car, you glance at the towering rides ahead, the excited chatter of parkgoers filling the air.
"Alright, where to first?" he asks, stretching as he steps out of the car.
You scan the park, lips pursed in thought before pointing towards the roller coasters with a challenging grin. "Since you’re so confident, let’s start with that."
His eyes widen for a split second before he huffs. "I wasn’t the one who backed out last time, remember?"
You laugh, linking your arm with his and pulling him along. "Exactly. Time to redeem myself."
The line moves faster than expected, and soon, you're seated, the bar locking in place. You grip the handles tightly, sneaking a glance at Seungcheol. He looks relaxed, but the way he exhales deeply before the ride starts doesn’t go unnoticed.
The moment the coaster shoots forward, your screams mix with laughter, adrenaline rushing through your veins as you grip the bar for dear life. When it finally slows, you glance at Seungcheol, only to see him looking at you instead of the ride’s descent.
"What?" you ask, breathless.
He shakes his head, a small, fond smile on his lips. "Nothing. Just glad you didn’t chicken out this time."
You roll your eyes, nudging him playfully as you both step off the ride, your legs slightly wobbly from the rush.
The day continues with more rides, playful bets on who can win the most arcade games (he cheats, you swear), and an unnecessary but hilarious attempt at a claw machine.
"Face it, I'm just naturally gifted," he boasts, tossing you a small stuffed bear.
"Naturally full of it, maybe," you grumble, but take the bear anyway, hugging it to your chest.
Finally, as the night settles, you both find yourselves on the Ferris wheel, the gentle hum of the ride filling the comfortable silence. The city sprawls below, glowing under the streetlights, and in the distance, fireworks begin to bloom in the sky.
"Didn’t think today would be this fun," you admit, leaning back against the seat, the cool glass behind you a contrast to the warmth in your chest.
Seungcheol glances at you, something unreadable in his expression. He exhales softly, his fingers tapping against his knee.
"Yeah... I, uh—" He hesitates, licking his lips, his voice quieter now. "There's actually something I—"
But before he can finish, a particularly loud firework crackles in the sky, painting the cabin in flickering colors. You turn quickly, eyes lighting up as you take in the view.
"Oh, look at that one! It’s so pretty" you say, completely missing the way Seungcheol sighs, his half-spoken words swallowed by the moment.
He leans back, running a hand through his hair, a wry smile tugging at his lips.
"Yeah," he murmurs, gaze lingering on you instead of the fireworks. "It is pretty."
Eventually, you both find yourselves at a cozy café just outside the park, the scent of coffee and pastries filling the air.
After placing your order, Seungcheol suddenly pushes back his chair. “Be right back,” he says, flashing a quick smile before heading toward the counter.
You don’t think much of it, scrolling through your phone until the waiter returns with your drinks. As they set your cup down, you notice the delicate heart design floating atop the foam.
You tilt your head, stirring it slightly with your spoon. “Oh? Is this some kind of Valentine’s special?” you ask, amused. “Did you get one too?”
Seungcheol, who’s just returned to his seat, glances at his own plain coffee and shrugs. “Yeah… no.”
You raise a brow. “Huh. Guess they just like me more.”
He chuckles, taking a sip of his drink, but you don’t notice the way he hides his small, satisfied smile. Because the truth is, he had asked for that heart—just for you.
//
The next evening, the soft glow of the studio lights casts a warm hue as you settle into your seat, adjusting your headphones. Outside, the city hums with life, but a sudden downpour has turned the streets into shimmering reflections of neon signs.
"Looks like we’re in for an unexpected downpour tonight," you say, adjusting your headphones with a small chuckle. "So if you're heading home, grab an umbrella—or better yet, find someone who’ll share theirs with you—if not, maybe this is your chance for a classic movie moment. You know, the whole ‘one umbrella, two people’ thing."
With a quick tap, you queue up a slow, dreamy melody.
"Wherever you are tonight—rushing through the rain or just watching it fall—I hope this keeps you warm. Stay safe out there." As the song plays, you sit back, stretching your arms with a sigh. 
As the show wraps up, you take off your headphones, letting out a small sigh as the last song fades into silence. The studio, once filled with the hum of voices and music, now feels still. Gathering your things, you push open the door, stepping into the quiet hallway.
Outside, the rain still falls in soft sheets, blurring the glow of streetlights. You pause near the entrance, rummaging through your bag. No umbrella. Right. You meant to bring one this morning, but in the rush, it completely slipped your mind.
 You pause at the entrance, contemplating making a run for it, when a familiar voice calls out.
"Figured you’d forget yours."
You blink as Seungcheol steps forward, holding out an umbrella, his usual smirk in place. His hair is slightly damp, his coat dusted with droplets, like he had hurried here without much thought.
A small flutter, barely noticeable, stirs in your chest. You shake it off with a teasing smile. "What, no chauffeur duty today?"
He chuckles, tucking a hand into his pocket. "Uhh, not tonight. I have to stay late for that project."
You tilt your head, a little surprised. "So you came all the way here just to give me this?" You motion toward the umbrella in your hand.
"Yeah," he says simply, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Before you can say anything else, his phone buzzes. He glances at the screen, sighs, then looks back at you. "I gotta go. Text me when you get home, okay?"
You nod, watching as he jogs toward his car, the red taillights fading into the rain.
For a moment, you just stand there, gripping the umbrella a little tighter. You don’t know why, but the weight of it in your hands feels different.
Then, shaking off the thought, you open it and step into the rain, heading home.
//
As morning arrives, the first thing that comes to mind is Seungcheol. You blink at your phone, thumb hovering over his contact.
Texting him isn’t anything new—you’ve done it countless times before. But for some reason, tonight, it feels… different. Maybe it’s your coworker’s words still echoing in your head, or maybe it’s the way he’s been occupying your thoughts more than usual.
Before you can overthink it, you start typing.
You: Did you get home okay?
A second passes. Then another. You bite your lip, debating whether to add something else.
You: And did you even sleep well? Don’t tell me you stayed up all night working.
You press send before hesitation can creep in. Almost instantly, the dots appear.
Seungcheol: Wow, checking up on me? I must be special.
You roll your eyes, already imagining the smug grin on his face.
You: Forget I asked.
Seungcheol: Wait, wait— I did sleep. Kinda. Had a long day, but I’m home now.
You: Good. Don’t overwork yourself.
Your fingers hover over the screen for a beat before you add one last message.
This time, he takes a little longer to respond.
Seungcheol: You too.
You lock your phone, exhaling softly as you sink into your pillow.
Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe you’re just overthinking. But the warmth unfurling in your chest suggests otherwise.
At work, the usual hum of chatter fills the office. You’re halfway through your emails when a coworker slides into the seat beside you, a teasing grin already in place.
"I saw you yesterday," they start, leaning in slightly. "With a guy. Was he your boyfriend?"
Your fingers freeze over the keyboard.
"What? No!" The denial is immediate, instinctive. Too quick. You clear your throat, forcing a casual shrug. "Just a friend."
Your coworker chuckles, clearly amused. "Mmm, sure. You should’ve seen your face just now."
You scoff, shaking your head. "Oh, please. It’s not like that."
They raise an eyebrow, smirking as they lean against your desk. "Right. Just a friend, huh?"
You roll your eyes, waving them off, but as they walk away, their words linger.
Just a friend. 
You’ve said it a hundred times before. So why does it feel different now?
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The soft glow of the studio lights wraps around you like a familiar embrace as you settle in for another night on air. The playlist hums in the background, filling the quiet spaces between your thoughts as you scroll through messages from listeners.
One catches your eye.
“I think I’ve fallen for my best friend. It wasn’t sudden—more like a slow, creeping realization. One day, I caught myself smiling at my phone just because they texted me. I don’t know if they feel the same, and I’m scared to lose what we have. What do I do?"
You hesitate for a moment, the words settling heavier than they should. There’s a flicker of something familiar in them, something that makes you sit up a little straighter.
You take a breath and lean toward the mic. “That’s… complicated,” you begin, your voice even, steady. “Falling for a best friend is tricky. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. One day, they’re just… them. The same person they’ve always been. And then suddenly, everything feels different.”
Your breath catches slightly. A part of you wants to laugh at the timing, but instead, you clear your throat and lean into the mic.
You exhale softly, fingers absentmindedly tracing the edge of your notes. "I think the scariest part isn’t even confessing—it’s the thought of what happens after. What if they don’t feel the same? What if things change? But… at the same time, isn’t it worth knowing? Isn’t it better than wondering ‘what if’ forever?"
The words come naturally, maybe a little too naturally, and you catch yourself mid-sentence, blinking at the realization. Your fingers tighten slightly around the papers in front of you.
You shake it off with a light laugh. "Anyway, I’m not a love expert. But if you’re listening… maybe ask yourself this—would you rather take the risk or live with the regret?"
As the segment transitions, you queue up the next song, the soft melody of Can't Help Falling in Love by Kina Grannis filling the airwaves. A bittersweet smile tugs at your lips as you lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling.
//
The idea of a team dinner had been floating around the office for weeks, but it wasn’t until today that your producer finally put his foot down.
“We’re going,” he declared, arms crossed as he leaned against your desk. “No more excuses, no more ‘let’s do it next week.’ Tonight, we eat.”
Your coworker snickered, spinning lazily in their chair. “You just don’t want to go home and cook.”
“Exactly,” he admitted shamelessly. “Besides, it’s been a while since we all hung out outside of work. You in?”
You hesitated for a beat, glancing at your screen before sighing. It wasn’t like you had anything better to do. “Yeah, I’m in.”
And that was that. A few hours later, you found yourself walking toward the restaurant with the rest of your team, the air buzzing with conversation. Your producer was still arguing about food, insisting that this place was “decent at best” while another team member defended it with an almost personal level of passion.
You laughed at their banter, falling into step behind them—until something made you slow down.
A familiar figure stood just outside the restaurant, hands tucked into his coat pockets. Even before he turned, you knew who it was.
Seungcheol.
Your brows lifted slightly in amusement. “Are you a stalker?” you teased as you approached. “You’re literally everywhere I go.”
He turned toward you, chuckling under his breath. “No, I’m here with someone. My cli—”
“Shall we go?”
The voice belonged to a woman who stepped up beside him, her posture poised, her tone polite. She looked… elegant. The kind of effortless elegance that didn’t even need to try.
Your gaze flickered between them, something unreadable tightening in your chest before you smoothed your expression. “Who…”
The woman met your eyes and smiled. “Oh, I’m Lee Hana. I’m working with Seungcheol on a project.”
You nodded, lips curving into something light, something easy, even as something else tugged inside you. “Right. Nice to meet you.”
Seungcheol’s gaze lingered on you for a second longer than it should. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh,” you blinked, shifting slightly. “Our team is having dinner.” You motioned toward the restaurant behind you. “You know, bonding and all that.”
He nodded, but before he could say anything else, Hana touched his arm lightly. “Shall we?”
There was a pause—brief, barely there—before he cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah.” Then he glanced at you again. “Bye, then. Have fun.”
And then he was gone, walking away with her at his side.
You watched them leave, something unspoken pressing against your ribs. It’s not jealousy, you told yourself. Not really. But the feeling stayed anyway.
A voice broke through your thoughts. “Oh, isn’t he the umbrella guy?”
You turned to see your coworker standing beside you, glancing after Seungcheol with mild curiosity before their gaze shifted back to you. “Did he come here with a woman?”
You said nothing, but that seemed to be enough of an answer.
They hummed knowingly. “You really must be just friends.” And with that, they walked inside.
You stayed there a second longer, staring at the spot where Seungcheol had just been, before shaking yourself out of it and following them in.
The night air is crisp as you walk back home, the sounds of the city buzzing softly in the background. Your team dinner had ended a while ago, but instead of feeling full and satisfied, there’s a strange heaviness in your chest—a weight you don’t quite understand.  
As you turn the corner to your apartment complex, you slow down, your steps faltering.  
There, leaning against his car with his arms crossed, is Seungcheol.  
Your brows knit together. “What are you doing here?”  
At your voice, he straightens, slipping his hands into his pockets. “You didn’t look well back at the restaurant,” he says, his tone light but laced with something else—concern, maybe. “So, I thought I’d check on you.”  
You blink at him. “You drove all the way here for that?”  
He shrugs. “It’s not far.”  
Liar. His office is nowhere near your place.  
There’s a brief pause. The usual banter is on the tip of your tongue, but for some reason, the words don’t come out as easily tonight. Maybe it’s because he actually showed up. Maybe it’s because you don’t know what to do with the way your heart stutters at the sight of him standing there, waiting for you.  
You shift your weight. “Do you… want to come in for coffee?”  
At that, he chuckles, shaking his head. “Coffee? At this time?” He tilts his head at you, amused. “You must really hate me if you don’t want me to sleep tonight.”  
You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Then I’ll give you plain water. Just come in.”  
His lips twitch into a smirk before he pushes himself off the car. “If you insist.”  
And just like that, he follows you inside.  
The door clicks shut behind you as you step inside, flipping on the lights. The familiar warmth of your home settles around you, but with Seungcheol standing in your living room, it suddenly feels… different.
“You can sit,” you say, gesturing vaguely to the couch as you move toward the kitchen.
He hums in response, wandering over but not immediately sitting down. Instead, he looks around, eyes flickering to the small details of your space—the stack of books on the coffee table, the blanket draped lazily over the couch, the half-full cup on the counter from this morning.
“By the way,” you start, keeping your voice casual as you pour warm milk, “who was that woman earlier?”
Seungcheol hums in acknowledgment, but when he answers, it’s after a slight pause. “Just a client. I’m handling a project for her company.”
“Ah.” You nod, stirring the coffee a little too forcefully. “Looked like you guys were close.”
He lets out a small laugh. “Are you interrogating me right now?”
You scoff, bringing the mugs over to the table and handing him one. “No. Just making conversation.”
You drop onto the couch beside him, curling your legs under you. He’s been here so many times before, and yet tonight, the usual comfort feels a little different—like you’re hyper-aware of the way he leans back, his long legs stretched out in front of him, the way he watches you over the rim of his mug.
“You seemed off earlier,” he says after a beat. “Something wrong?”
“No,” you lie, but even you don’t sound convinced.
Seungcheol doesn’t press, just tilts his head slightly, studying you like he’s figuring out a puzzle. “If you say so.”
After a while, he stretches, glancing at the time. “I should go.”
You nod, following him to the door. He lingers for a second, hands shoved in his pockets.
“Text me when you wake up, yeah?”
You frown. “Why?”
He shrugs. “Just ‘cause.”
You roll your eyes, but something about the way he’s looking at you makes your chest tighten. “Fine.”
He smirks. “Good.”
And then, with a small wave, he’s gone.
You stand there for a second, staring at the closed door, fingers curling tightly around your cup.
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The theater is dim, the soft glow from the screen casting flickering lights across Seungcheol’s face. The film has barely begun, but the hum of quiet conversations and the rustling of popcorn bags fill the space around you.
You’re not sure who suggested this movie. Maybe he did. Maybe you did. Maybe it was just one of those things—where he casually texted, "Movie?" and you didn’t even think before replying, "Sure."
The movie plays, but your focus wavers. You’re aware of him. Of the way his shoulder is just barely brushing yours. The way his fingers drum lazily against his knee. The way he shifts slightly every now and then, getting comfortable.
And then, his hand moves to the popcorn bag between you.
Your fingers accidentally graze his. Just for a second.
You don’t think much of it—until it happens again.
The second time, neither of you pull away immediately. It’s not intentional, not deliberate. Just… a pause. A moment that lingers for a beat too long before he finally retracts his hand.
Your pulse stutters, but you keep your expression neutral.
A few more scenes pass. You’re getting lost in the film when suddenly—
A jump scare.
It’s sudden enough that your breath catches, and before you can stop yourself, your hand darts out, grasping the closest thing—his arm.
Seungcheol doesn’t move. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t say a word. Just glances down at your fingers curled around his sleeve.
You realize what you’ve done a second too late. Heat creeps up your neck as you start to pull away.
But then—
His arm shifts just slightly, just enough that your hand slides from his sleeve to his wrist, fingertips brushing against his skin.
You don’t move. Neither does he.
The moment stretches, unspoken, unacknowledged. Not quite intentional. But not exactly not intentional, either.
And suddenly, the movie is the least interesting thing in the room.
The movie ends, and the crowd slowly shuffles toward the exits. You stretch your arms as you step out of the dimly lit theater, the cool night air greeting you.
"That wasn’t as scary as I thought," you say, glancing at Seungcheol.
He scoffs, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Sure. That explains why you nearly ripped my sleeve off."
You roll your eyes, nudging him lightly with your elbow. "That was one time."
He smirks. "Uh-huh. And what about the other time? And the time after that?"
You narrow your eyes at him, but there’s no real bite behind it. He’s enjoying this way too much.
"Okay, whatever. Where are we eating?" You change the subject swiftly, and Seungcheol hums, pretending to think.
"Ramen?" he suggests.
Your stomach growls at the mention of food, and you nod. "Sounds good."
It’s a short walk to the small ramen shop tucked away on a quieter street. The place is cozy, warm, and familiar—one of those late-night spots you’ve both ended up in more times than you can count. The moment you step inside, the comforting aroma of broth and spices fills the air.
Seungcheol orders for both of you, as he always does, rattling off your usual without even asking. The cashier doesn’t even blink, already used to it by now.
You shake your head with a small smile. "One day, I’m going to switch things up just to mess with you."
He leans against the counter, grinning. "No, you won’t."
He’s right, and you hate that he knows it.
The two of you settle into a booth, the conversation flowing easily between bites of food. Seungcheol steals a piece of your fish cake without asking. You retaliate by swiping a sip of his drink. It's effortless, familiar.
By the time you step back outside, the streets are quieter. The late hour drapes the city in a peaceful hush, the occasional headlights casting long shadows on the pavement.
Neither of you say much as you walk, but it isn’t an awkward silence. Just the kind that lingers when words aren’t needed.
At some point, Seungcheol slows his pace, falling into step beside you instead of slightly ahead.
The street lights flicker above, the air crisp but not too cold. You rub your hands together out of habit.
A beat passes before Seungcheol exhales through his nose and, without a word, reaches out.
His hand brushes yours, just barely.
You think it might be an accident until he does it again.
This time, he doesn’t move away.
And neither do you.
The apartment is quiet when you step inside, the familiar space wrapping around you like a well-worn blanket. You toe off your shoes, set your bag down, and exhale, as if the night still clings to your skin. The soft hum of the refrigerator is the only sound filling the air, but your mind is anything but quiet.
You wander into the kitchen on autopilot, reaching for a glass, but your fingers hesitate over the cabinet handle. The thought slips in, uninvited.
What if he already knows?
The question lingers, settling into the corners of your mind like an echo. You shake your head as if that alone could shove it away, but it doesn’t work.
Maybe it’s the way he laughed tonight—soft, genuine, like the sound itself belonged to you. Or the way he leaned in closer, just enough that his warmth almost touched you. Maybe it’s nothing at all, just the way he exists around you—familiar, steady, yet suddenly… different.
You close your eyes for a moment, trying to chase the feeling away, but it’s stubborn. Because now that you’ve noticed it, you can’t unsee it. Every teasing remark, every lingering glance, every small, meaningless moment—it’s all been leading to this.
And the worst part?
You don’t even know when it started.
You sink onto the couch, pressing the cool glass against your palm, grounding yourself. You try to convince yourself it’s nothing. You’ve always been close. He’s always been there.
But tonight, when his hand brushed yours and he didn’t pull away… when he said goodnight like he meant something else…
Your heart had stuttered.
You bite your lip, staring at the ceiling, willing your heartbeat to settle.
...What if he already knows?
//
The studio is quiet except for the soft hum of the equipment. The city lights flicker through the window, casting faint shadows against the booth. You scroll through the messages, eyes landing on a familiar name.
Cherry.
“I tried everything you said—gave them a letter, took them out, spent so much time together. And honestly? I swear they like me too. But… nothing. What do I do?"
You let out a breath, tapping your fingers lightly against the desk.
"Okay, first of all—don’t give up. I know it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t read between the lines, but sometimes, people need things to be said plainly. No metaphors, no subtlety. Just… real words."
You lean back slightly, eyes flickering toward the dim window of the booth, where the city blurs in the distance.
"Because here’s the thing—what if they do feel the same way? What if they’re just as scared as you are? Wouldn’t you rather know than spend your days wondering?"
The words come easily, almost too easily, and for a split second, you wonder if you’re really just talking to Cherry anymore.
You exhale and push forward.
"So here’s my advice, Cherry. Tell them. No hints, no half-confessions. Just look them in the eyes and say, ‘I like you.’ And if they don’t feel the same? At least you’ll know. At least you won’t have to live with ‘what if.’"
Your hand hovers over the controls for a moment longer than necessary before finally pressing the next song cue.
The melody flows through the studio, soft and steady. And yet, your heart is thudding slightly faster than it should.
The night air is cool against your skin as you step out of the building, the faint hum of the city filling the quiet. Work is done for the day, your coworkers already heading their separate ways after a few lingering goodbyes.
You stretch your arms slightly, exhaling as you adjust the strap of your bag—only to freeze mid-motion.
He’s there.
Standing just outside the entrance, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket—except for one, which lingers behind his back, hiding something.
Your heart stirs, something instinctive. “Seungcheol?”
His lips twitch in a small, almost nervous smile. “Hey.”
“You’re waiting for me?” You shift your bag on your shoulder, stepping toward him.
“Yeah.” A soft exhale. “I had to.”
You tilt your head slightly. “Why?”
Seungcheol hesitates, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Then, with a slow exhale, he pulls his hand from behind his back—revealing a bouquet of flowers, delicate and vibrant under the streetlights.
Your breath catches.
Your fingers brush against his as you take it, the warmth of his skin seeping into yours.
“Seungcheol…” Your voice is softer now, unsure. The gesture feels too deliberate, too thoughtful. It makes your heart ache in a way you don’t fully understand.
He watches you for a second before exhaling, running a hand through his hair. “I should’ve said this sooner. A long time ago, actually.” His voice drops slightly. “I think—no, I know—I’ve liked you for a while now.”
Your breath catches.
He holds it out to you, a faint chuckle escaping his lips. “I know it’s kind of cheesy, but... I saw this and thought of you.”
Your fingers brush against his as you take it, the warmth of his skin seeping into yours.
“Seungcheol…” Your voice is softer now, unsure. The gesture feels too deliberate, too thoughtful. It makes your heart ache in a way you don’t fully understand.
He watches you for a second before exhaling, running a hand through his hair. “I should’ve said this sooner. A long time ago, actually.” His voice drops slightly. “I think—no, I know—I’ve liked you for a while now.”
The world feels like it slows down.
His eyes flicker with something—uncertainty, vulnerability, an honesty so raw it makes your chest tighten.
“I tried not to,” he continues, voice steadier now. “I thought maybe it would pass, that maybe we were just friends and I was misreading things. But then you started showing up in my thoughts at the most random times. I’d hear a song and think of you. I’d pass a café and wonder if you’d like their coffee. And no matter how much I tried to ignore it… it was always you.”
Your fingers tighten around the flower.
“So I’m done pretending.” His voice is quiet but firm. “I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time.”
You swallow, fingers tightening around the flower as your heart stumbles over itself. The weight of his words settles over you—not heavy, not suffocating, but something warm, something undeniable.
For a long moment, you don’t speak. You don’t know if you can.
Seungcheol watches you carefully, his usual confidence laced with something softer, something uncertain. You can tell he’s waiting, bracing himself for whatever comes next.
So you inhale slowly, steadying yourself.
“You—” Your voice falters slightly before you clear your throat. “You’ve liked me for a long time?”
He nods, lips curving into a self-deprecating smile. “Yeah.” A beat. “I thought you knew.”
Your breath catches.
Did you?
You think back—to the lingering glances, the easy laughter, the way he’s always been there, steady and constant. The way he looks at you when he thinks you don’t notice. The way your heart has been shifting, your feelings unraveling into something you weren’t ready to name.
“I…” You pause, lips parting, your heart beating so fast it’s dizzying. And then you laugh, a little breathless, shaking your head. “God, I feel so stupid.”
Seungcheol blinks, caught off guard. “Huh?”
You meet his eyes, and this time, there’s no doubt, no hesitation.
“I like you too, you idiot.”
For a second, everything is still.
Then Seungcheol lets out a sharp breath—a laugh, almost disbelieving—and suddenly, that teasing smile you know so well is back, but there’s something else in his expression now. Something real. Something unshakable.
“Yeah?” His voice is quieter, laced with something warm.
You nod, lips pressing together. “Yeah.”
And then, he pulls you in—his hand resting at the back of your head, fingers threading into your hair.
His lips press against yours, gentle at first, then firmer, like he’s been holding this in for too long. His other hand stays over yours, the bouquet still between you, petals brushing against your skin.
The city buzzes in the background, but all you can hear is the quiet rush of your own heartbeat. And in that moment, with his warmth, his touch, his everything—
It just feels right.
You pull away just enough to look at him, breathless, your forehead still resting against his. His hands remain on your waist, warm and grounding, as if neither of you wants to let go just yet.
And honestly? You don’t think you ever want to.
A soft laugh escapes you, light and airy. “You know… a listener of mine also loves their best friend,” you murmur, tilting your head slightly. “They tried everything—subtle hints, letters, taking them out—but their best friend was too dense to get it.”
Seungcheol chuckles, his thumb brushing over your wrist. “Sounds familiar.”
“Right?” You sigh dramatically. “So, I told them to just confess. No hints, no half-confessions, just… real words.”
He hums, nodding thoughtfully. “Good advice.”
“Yeah,” you grin, looking up at him. “I wonder how it went for them.”
Seungcheol pauses for a second, then leans in just a little, his voice playful yet quiet. “I’d say pretty well.”
You blink. “Huh?”
His lips quirk up, and suddenly, the way he’s looking at you feels a little too knowing.
And then, before you can process it, he says it—just two words, but they hit you like a ton of bricks.
“I know.”
You stare. “What?”
He grins, tapping a finger against your forehead lightly. “Your listener. Cherry.”
Your brows furrow. The pieces are there, but your brain refuses to connect them. “What about them?”
He hesitates, as if savoring the moment, before finally confessing, “It’s me.”
Silence.
You tilt your head, processing his words. “...You’re Cherry?”
Seungcheol nods, clearly holding back a laugh at your expression.
For a second, you just stand there, staring at him.
Then, with a dramatic gasp, you lightly smack him with the bouquet in your hands.
“Ow—hey!” He feigns pain, stumbling back slightly, but the wide grin on his face betrays him.
“You idiot!” You hit him again, though there’s no real force behind it. “You made me give love advice for your own confession?”
He catches your wrist, still laughing. “Hey, it worked, didn’t it?”
You narrow your eyes at him, but before you can retaliate, he tugs you forward, pulling you into another hug.
This time, it feels different.
Familiar, warm, but with something new. Something neither of you have to question anymore.
You sigh against his shoulder, shaking your head. “I can’t believe you.”
He grins. “Believe it, Baby.”
2K notes · View notes
viridian-fields · 7 months ago
Text
all of caitlyn's scars
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right eyebrow
acquired during jinx's bombing attack on progress day
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left leg
also a jinx special. a shrapnel wound from the bombing on the bridge. we don't actually see this wound after it's healed but I'm sure it left a mark.
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literally every one of her other scars come from her fight with ambessa
right side of abdomen
stabbed by ambessa
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underneath right eye
kicked in the face by ambessa
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nose and lower lip
backhanded by ambessa
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forehead
a gnarly headbutt from ambessa
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left eye
ambessa's blade and caitlyn's sacrifice
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one scar that I'm not quite sure about...
left cheek near the ear
I think this may be a scar she acquired off screen somewhere in between s1 act 1 and 2? her hair is in the way most of the time so it was hard to catch. as far as I can tell she already has it at the time of the progress day bombing, but doesn't appear to have it in her childhood scenes. if anyone has any insight on it let me know.
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& let me know if I've missed any
2K notes · View notes
withlovemark · 17 days ago
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“IRREPLACEABLE”
pairing: enemy! hyuck x ex bff! reader | genre:rom-com | words: 29k
synopsis -> lee haechan, theatre major, absolutely hated your guts. you felt the same exact way. the only girl in this whole university that hasn’t fallen for the most popular fuckboy’s charms. which is why it sucks that you have both landed the main roles in the theater’s upcoming play, romeo and juliet. what was that saying about love and hate being a thin line?
warnings -> i lost count of how many times i used the word hate and all it’s synonyms, pet name unlocked: princess, so much arguing, both of them have major communication issues!, so many side characters i hope you know all of them, too many musical references +18, crude humor, language, mentions of: parties, alcohol, reader gets drugged, drunk calling, so much smut i kinda got carried away! thigh riding, slight exhibitionism, very rough sex, hyuck is a dom bottom who lovesss boobies, dry-humping, use of whore and slut, choking, slapping, oral (m+f), fingering, car sex, dirty dirty dirty talk!
an -> the fourth installment of the loverboy series is yours! i’m gonna be honest, i’ve never gotten through romeo and juliet without falling asleep. i did force myself to watch the movie just for this though! and i took a nap in the middle lol. disclaimer! i know nothing about the theater world, i just like musicals! important things to note: 1) haechan is the most popular fuckboy - everyone loves him, he’s charming and funny and he’s not afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings if he needs to 2) all three couples jaemin x angel; jeno x bunny; and mark x kitten are all happily together! have fun reading! - with love, c.
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“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you mutter under your breath, the words bitter on your tongue. behind you, the hallway erupts with cheers, laughter, congratulations, celebration of their dream roles. you should be one of them. be as elated, as ecstatic, jump around and cheer for landing the role of one of the two protagonists.
but all you could focus on was the name above yours.
your stomach twists, fists clench at your sides. the letters blur for a second and you blink rapidly, as if reading it again will somehow make it go away. you don’t have to turn around to feel him – that distinct, arrogant presence that always makes your skin crawl. the air arounds you tightens, turns electric, suffocating as he steps up beside you, your shoulders instinctively stiffening like your body was preparing for war.
haechan doesn’t say a word first, just reading the cast list you’ve been cursing at for the past fifteen seconds.
romeo - lee, donghyuck
juliet - yln, yfn
tybalt - kim, sunwoo / mercutio - dejun, xiao / benvolio - choi, yeonjun / friar laurence - choi, jongho / count paris - choi, soobin / montague - seo, changbin / capulet - jung, wooyoung / gloria capulet - huh, yunjin / juliet’s nurse - yi zhou, ning /balthasar - yoon, sanha
then he scoffs, “what the hell?,” he hissed venomously, before ripping the sheet off the bulletin board, crinkling the edge between his fingers like it personally offended him.
“hey–!,” you snap, breaking from your stunned silence, spinning on your heel to follow him as he storms across the hall like a live grenade looking for somewhere to detonate.
“mr. doyoung!,” his voice cracks through the hallway like a thunderclap, “this has got to be a mistake!”
there it is. that infuriating, entitled tone, like the spoiled, arrogant bastard he’s always been. always louder. always assuming the world should rearrange itself around him. you roll your eyes so hard it hurts, but for the first time in a long time, you actually agree.
“yeah, there’s no way, in hell, you can make me act opposite of him,” you bite out, folding your arms tightly across your chest as you come to a halt beside him. your voice is sharp, clipped, every word aimed to kill as the two of you glare at each other like two predators forced into a cage.
his eyes glint with the same smug cruelty he’s weaponized against you, “then drop the part,” he sneers, that damned smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, “save us all the agony.”
you scoff, “if anyone’s dropping out, it should be you.” you step closer, close enough to feel the anger radiating off of him. your noses are inches apart, breaths sharp, shallow, matching like clashing rhythms.
his eyes narrow, “not in a million years, princess,” he spits. the nickname laced with the kind of condescension that makes your blood boil — the same nickname he gave you when you first met in freshman year of high school. it used to hold playfulness until junior year when he used it to spite you, calling you a spoiled, whiny brat in front of all your classmates.
“i. hate. you.” you hiss, slow and deliberate, as if saying it any softer wouldn’t do your fury justice.
“not as much as i. hate. you,” he fires back instantly as if he’s been waiting to say it.
and you know you both mean it. every syllable.
the silence between you is razor-sharp, about to break into something neither of you will be able to take back until mr. doyoung finally claps his hands together, far too enthusiastically.
“ahhh, exactly the kind of fire i’d expect from my two star crossed lovers,” he beams, though there’s a flicker of panic behind his eyes for the future of his play, “so much...raw emotion, i’m sure you’ll channel it beautifully!,” he smiles that bunny-like smile. you both turn to glare at him.
mr. doyoung’s smile falters, “orrr maybe i’ll add a few extra rehearsals. just in case.”
you want to scream. you want to throw the script in his face. you want the ground to open up and swallow him whole. transport him somewhere far away from you where you would never have to see him again. instead, you glare at him and know this is going to be war.
ཐིཋ��� the first week of rehearsals
the rehearsal room smells like dust and desperation. the air is heavy, slow, stale and every time the fan completes it’s rotation, it just blow more disappointment into your face.
but none of it compares to the static crackling between you and him.
“i’m not doing that,” you snap, backing away from haechan like his presence is physically repulsive, “if he touches me like that again, i swear to god, i’m walking out.” there’s something about the way haechan put his hand on your waist, not even hard, not even long, that makes your whole body go tight, defensive.
“jesus christ,” haechan groans, dramatically running a hand through his already disheveled hair as he paces like a caged animal, like the floor can somehow absorb his frustration, “it’s called blocking and i’m supposed to stand there. it’s the scene. what are you? an amateur.”
the both of you hate each other but you both knew you were far from amateurs. especially in the theatre world. you were always part of the main ensemble, so was he. it’s almost ironic how you never saw it coming…that one day you would land a role opposite his.
you glare daggers, “it’s called basic respect for personal space, not an invitation to grope me,” you shoot back, matching his volume now, hands on your hips, “and you didn’t follow the mark. you were supposed to take one step forward, not three and a half and a hand on my waist.”
“that’s literally where romeo touches juliet. in the script,” he grits out, teeth clenching, “ever heard of it?,” his eyes flash, jaw tight.
“i’ve read it,” you snap, voice rising in heat, “i just don’t think shakespeare imagined romeo groping juliet like a frat boy.”
“groping?,” he repeats, incredulous, “you’re delusional. talk about overreacting, as if i would ever want to grope you.”
you glare, “at least i can act.” it’s petty. it’s low. but it lands. you see the spark behind his eyes flare into flame.
he barks out a laugh that’s so disbelieving it echoes, “that’s rich coming from you. every time i look at you, you look dead, let me remind you juliet is still alive in this scene.”
“maybe because looking at you makes me want to jump off the balcony and actually end it myself!,” you yell, voice going an octave higher with every word.
you hate him so much. hate the way you act when he’s around. you’re not usually like this. you’re calm, sweet, a walking ray of sunshine. but when he’s around. it’s all a mess.
“okay, ENOUGH!”
mr. doyoung’s voice cuts through the room like a whip, his usual patience obliterated, stepping between the two of you like a human peace treaty, “you are juliet,” he says to you, “-and you are romeo,” he turns to haechan, “i don’t plan on changing any of the cast so if you two don’t find a way to sell the illusion that you’re in love, this entire show is going to be a very expensive dumpster fire.”
neither of you speak. too busy glaring at each other, like eye contact alone might ignite spontaneous combustion. mr. doyoung sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “let’s just…try the balcony scene again. from the top. no improvising. no suicide jokes. just the lines. please. for the love of theater.”
you both reluctantly take your marks, haechan looks up at you, a few feet above the stage, perched on a rickety prop balcony that feels two screws away from collapsing, wobbling under your feet.
he takes his place below, casting a look up at you that’s less romantic longing and more barely restrained murder. then he begins, voice flat, eyes dead, “but, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? it is the east, and juliet is the sun.”
you blink slowly, unimpressed, “really?,” you call down, loud enough to make mr. doyoung’s eye twitch. “that’s your romeo? he sounds like he’s reading from the terms and conditions page,” you insult.
“i’m projecting,” he says defensively, like the word justifies everything.
“you’re projecting boredom,” you deadpan, “romeo’s in love, not filing a complaint with customer service”
“oh, i’m sorry,” he stays stepping forward with mock enthusiasm, “it’s hard to sound passionate when i’m looking at someone who constantly has a resting bitch face.”
“you’re such a dick!,” you snap from the balcony.
“and you’re nothing but a spoiled brat!”
you both shout over each other. mr. doyoung lets out an almost feral scream and hurls his clipboard across the stage. it hits a chair and ricochets loudly, silencing the room. the rest of the cast sharing multiple side-eyes.
“end of rehearsals!,” he bellows, voice cracking with pure, unfiltered despair. you don’t need to be told twice. you turn on your heel and storm off the left side of the stage without looking back. you don’t need to. you can feel him heading the other way, like magnets forced apart.
and yet, even as you leave the room, you can still feel him…under your skin, buzzing through your veins.
ཐིཋྀ the second week of rehearsals
mr. doyoung looks like he’s aged ten years over the week. his clipboard is cracked down the spine, his coffee has gone cold, and his voice has taken on the strained edge of a man dangling off the brink of a nervous breakdown — there has been absolutely no progress when it comes to his leading actors.
he watches, again, as the scene falls apart. you stand center stage, shoulders stiff, delivering your lines like someone reading a grocery list and haechan was delivering his like a stand-up comedian doing shakespeare for drunks.
“you know what?,” mr. doyoung finally snaps, his voice cracking under the strain of suppressed rage, “i’m done. i’m tired of the two of you wasting everyone’s time.” you and haechan glance at each other with deadpan synchronicity and immediately roll your eyes in perfect unison. the only thing you can do in sync.
“i’m not going to waste one more minute pretending this is salvageable until you two get your shit together,” he pulls a key from his pocket, walks toward the back rehearsal room and without warning, yanks the door open, “get in.”
you hesitate. so does haechan. but mr. doyoung’s eyes blaze with the quiet fury of a man who has nothing left to lose. before either of you can protest, he herds you both into the cramped rehearsal room, walls lined with mismatched props and discarded costumes. he slams the door shut behind you, the sound of the lock clicking echoing through the space like a death sentence.
“you’re going to spend the next hour locked in this room. read the lines, build chemistry. i don’t care how you do it but make sure it works or i swear to god i will cast freshmen in the lead roles and let the whole show burn,” he instructs from the other side, his footsteps retreating down the hall.
mr. doyoung knew the two of you too well, both too proud, too consumed by your own egos and the thrill of performing. you didn’t just want to act, you wanted to outshine, to dominate every scene. all it needed was a little push, to finally get you where he wants.
“great,” you mutter, crossing your arms as you lean against the wall, “trapped in a room with you, it’s just like high school all over again.”
haechan stares at you like he’s seconds away from choosing violence, “believe me princess, i’d rather be stuck in a room filled with plague-infested rats than be here with you.”
“let’s just get this over with so we can get out of here,” you roll your eyes as you both grab your scripts. tension hanging like a thundercloud.
“deny thy father and refuse thy name–,” you start.
“maybe try not sounding like you’re ai,” haechan cuts in, already annoyed, tone drenched in mockery.
your eyes narrow, “this is ridiculous,” you mutter, slapping the script onto a table, “he really thinks chemistry can be forced?”
haechan scoffs, “it’s not chemistry that’s the problem. it’s you.”
you spin toward him, a furrow on your features, “right, because the way you butcher romantic lines make the audience swoon.”
“i’m sorry, have you ever heard yourself say ‘oh romeo, oh romeo’ without sounding like you’re a fucking gps?”
your voice rises, “god, you’re not even trying to act like you’re in love with me!,”
“maybe because the idea makes me want to rip out my own eyeballs,” he snarls, stepping closer.
“you are the most arrogant!,” you take a step closer, voice rising, veins protruding, “most infuriating–”
you don’t see it coming.
one second you’re shouting at each other, chest heaving, veins on fire and the next, his hands are tangled in your hair, mouth crushing yours like a threat – the kiss is messy. too much teeth. zero warning. absolute chaos.
you shove him off, lips bruised and tingling, breath ragged, eyes blown out, “are you fucking insane?!”
haechan looks like a deer caught in headlights, eyes flickering with something wild, shock and hunger all at once, but before he can register what he just did, you grab his shirt and pull him down into another kiss – twice as hard, all tongue and fury and years of pent-up hatred combusting between your teeth.
it’s not romantic. it’s war.
he stumbles back into the worn chair and you follow, climbing into his lap and straddling his thigh like you’re still trying to win. your skirt rides up as your knees settle on either side of his leg. hot, wet core pressing against the thick line of muscle beneath you, haechan’s own gym shorts bunching up on his thigh and for the first time, you’re both quiet. just the obscene sound of mouths and breath and friction echoing throughout the room.
your hips rock forward, slow at first, then harder. a needy, broken sound slips past your lips, making his cock twitch in his shorts.
“god,” he breathes into your jaw, “i would’ve done this years ago if i knew it’d finally shut you up,” his lips trail down your jaw, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses.
“you’re such a cocky piece of shit,” you hiss, panting against his mouth, hips still rocking into his thigh.
“and you’re still a brat,” he growls, gripping your waist like he might lose his mind otherwise, “but fuck–keep doing that.”
“i hate you,” you growl against his lips as you continue to ride his thigh anyway. like the words would justify any of this.
“you’re grinding on me like you don’t,” he says smugly.
“shut up.”
“make me.”
you do. you pull his hair and kiss him again, tongue in his mouth – filthy, hot, tangled. the pressure builds fast, molten and sharp. your tits brush his chest, perky nipples peeking through the thin fabric of your white shirt, his hands hot and demanding on your ass. he whines into your mouth and it’s almost enough to make you lose yourself entirely. you pick up rhythm, shameless and hungry, the movement hitting that perfect, aching spot.
haechan loathes how hot you look right now. on top of him, leaving a wet trail all over his leg, tits bouncing to the rhythm you’ve set. and he hates how his body is betraying him even more. absolutely despises the way all his blood is surging straight to his cock.
your nails dig into his shoulders, clutching him like an anchor as your rhythm stutters, speeding up then slowing down as pleasure starts to overtake logic.
“fuck,” you pant, lips brushing his, breath hot and ragged, “i’m gonna–”
“keep going,” he groans, voice whiny and hoarse, almost broken, “don’t stop, just—fuck—,” both of you lost in the heat and pleasure taking over.
his fingers dig into your hips with bruising intensity, like he’s holding on to the last thread of control. his eyes clamp shut, forehead dropping to your shoulder as his breath stutters, shallow, ragged, desperate. he’s completely still for half a second…then a full-body shiver runs through him.
you feel it. the tension. the collapse. the sudden hitch in his breath against your neck. the way he curses under it, low and broken, “shit.”
you freeze, then pull back just far enough to see his face. his eyes are blown wide, pupils drowning in dark, cheeks flushed with something that looks a lot like shame.
“did you just—” you whisper, half breathless, half cruel, hips slowing into a lazy roll meant only to taunt. you’re grinning now, wicked and disbelieving.
“shut up,” he mutters against your skin, but his voice is wrecked. gone. the edge of humiliation bleeding through.
your eyes drag over the heat in his cheeks, the tension in his jaw, the way he refuses to meet your gaze and a laugh slips out, breathy, stunned, “oh my god. you did.”
he glares at you, face still flushed, every muscle taut like he’s deciding whether to deny it or destroy you for saying it. his pride was fraying, splintering – and then his hands fists in your hair, yanks your mouth back to his, eyes darker now, sharp with something feral as he regains his voice “i didn’t tell you, you could stop,” he growls, voice a low snarl against your lips.
then he takes over — in a blink, haechan’s hands clamp down on your hips, commanding your every grind, gripping like he’s trying not to completely lose it again. his mouth latches on that exposed skin above your breast, hot and unrelenting, teeth scraping, tongue following like he wants to mark you. wants you to hate yourself at the reminder of his lips on your skin.
his thigh flexes beneath you, on purpose this time, pushing up against you with just enough force to make you gasp, completely wiping away that smug he despises.
he hates you. god, he hates you. hates how every little thing you do sets off something in him, a chain reaction he can’t control. every movement, every breathy sound wrecking him in ways he’ll never admit.
“fuck, haechan,” you whine, shutting your eyes in pleasure, forehead pressed to his, “don’t stop.”
his breath catches, you’ve never said his name like that before, so raw, so needy, so desperate. it short-circuits something in him.
“wasn’t planning on it,” he mutters, voice low. he rolls your hips faster and faster, practically bouncing you on his thigh. the chair below you creaks but you barely hear it over your own wrecked breathing.
“you’re such a fucking slut, princess, hating me and getting off on my thigh like this,” he smirks, completely taking over the situation now. the words shouldn’t turn you on more. but they do. your body responds before your brain can catch up, lighting up like a match thrown onto gasoline. you can’t stop. you don’t stop. your fingers claw into his shoulders for balance as you grind down harder, breathy whines slipping in between your heavy breathing, entire body on fire, like every nerve has been rewired to respond to him and only him.
“go on princess,” he taunts, voice low, filthy, infuriating, “use me. i’ll let you,” he mocks like you should be grateful. like this is a gift. like he isn’t the one who came untouched in his shorts.
you hate it. you love it. you hate him.
“say it,” you pant, lips grazing his, breathless and daring.
his eyes are on fire, “say what?”
“that you hate me.”
his mouth curls into that cocky, devastating grin that you want to slap and kiss at the same time. “i hate you so fucking much,” he groans against your lips, swallowing the noise you make like he’s starving for it.
then his hand dives under your skirt, fingers rough and urgent, dragging your panties to the side. you don’t stop moving, continuing to ride his thigh, chasing that high. the press of skin against skin pushes you over the edge. you cry out, not caring if there was a chance mr. doyoung was listening in. the room’s spinning, heat rising like a fever. the tension in your stomach ready to explode.
“god,” you choke, voice cracking, “i’m gonna come on your fucking leg.”
his eyes darken, hands gripping tighter as he bites your earlobe with just enough force to run shivers down your spine, “do it,” he hisses, words like sin against your ear, “paint it.”
then his thumb finds your clit, circling harsh, precise circles. and it’s over. your whole body tenses, hips grinding down, breath catching, head tossed back, lips parted in a soft, stunned moan as pleasure rolls through you like a slow explosion. it seizes you from the inside out, heat blooming behind your eyes, your limbs trembling where you straddle him.
haechan swears under his breath, jaw tight, eyes darkening and locked on you like he’s watching something unholy and holy all at once. you slump against his chest, breathless, spent, your hands still clutching the collar of his shirt like it’s the only thing anchoring you to reality. he doesn’t say anything at first, just holds you there, heartbeat loud and frantic under your palm. his thigh still twitching from the aftermath.
eventually, you pull back enough to look at him. his hair’s a mess. his mouth is swollen. there’s a stunned, reverent look in his eyes that he tries, and fails, to cover with a smirk like he’s not sure what the hell just happened. and you’re sure you look the exact same way.
“well,” you breathe, blinking slowly, “that was…”
“method acting” he says, but his voice is hoarse, “completely professional, shakespeare would be proud.”
you let out a stunned laugh and shove his shoulder, “i still hate you.”
“and i, you” his mouth curves into that smug smile that you swore was glued onto his face.
“this isn’t happening again.” you say it sharp, sure.
“wouldn’t dream of it, princess,” he smirks, cocky and vexing.
ཐིཋྀ the third week of rehearsals
the rehearsal space feels different now. it shouldn’t. the floor is the same scuffed black, taped up with the same blocking marks you argued over last time. mr. doyoung is still barking notes from behind his clipboard, a coffee in one hand and a red pen in the other.
everything is the same. except you. except him.
the space between you used to be poison. now it’s something else. it crackles with something hotter, wilder, like dry air before a thunderstorm. charged and dangerous.
neither of you dares to speak of it. admit it.
you haven’t touched since that rehearsal, not so much as a brush of fingers. you haven’t spoken about what happened but your body hasn’t forgotten. neither has his. every glance feels like it could combust on contact. every time your eyes meet across the room, you feel the memory of his mouth. the way he kissed you mid-scream, like anger was just a mask for hunger. the way your hips rocked against his hard thigh. the way you both hated it, and how much worse it was that you enjoyed it, too.
you’re not proud of it. you try to ignore it. try to act normal. professional. just two enemies pretending to be in love. no big deal. you’re adults. adults can handle unresolved sexual tension and violent mutual resentment…right?
“y/n and haechan,” mr. doyoung’s voice cuts through the static in your head. your eyes snap up, heart thudding against your ribs. you grit your teeth.
the “and” makes your skin crawl. you hate how he says it. your name first. then his. like a pair. a duo. like you belong together.
“let’s run the balcony scene again,” mr. doyoung continues, “and this time, try not to fight.”
you let out a slow, measured breath and glance down at your crumpled script. the words blur for a second before snapping back into focus. you know them already. every line, every pause, every look juliet gives romeo – you practiced it all week.
what you don’t know is how to stand next to haechan without remembering what he sounds like with his breath ragged and your name tangled on his tongue. you almost want to start a fight, just to get out of doing this scene.
your pulse stutters before you even lift your head, because you can feel him. the weight of his stare from across the black box stage. for once, he doesn’t open with some smug quip or insult. he just gives a nod. subtle. almost respectful. almost.
you arch a brow, eyes narrowed, finally looking his way. he doesn’t smile. doesn’t smirk. just murmurs under his breath as he steps into place, “don’t look at me like that,” he says under his breath, “i’m trying not to hate you for five minutes.”
“gee, thanks,” you mutter, stepping into position.
you move to the edge of the mock balcony, script still clutched like a shield. but the words feel heavier now. the scene begins. your voice is steady because it has to. because this is theatre.
“o romeo, o romeo…”
you read the lines. and somehow, a true miracle, you don’t argue. not once. he doesn’t interrupt. you don’t roll your eyes. there are no snarky remarks or insults coming from you or him. the tension is still there but it’s different. sharper. controlled. like both of you have locked it in a cage between your ribs and are desperately pretending it isn’t rattling to get out.
when the scene ends, there’s a pause.
then mr. doyoung claps his hands together, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in shock, “holy hell, that was almost convincing! what the hell did you two do, blood sacrifice? therapy? drugs?”
your mouth opens, but no sound comes out.
how do you tell your theater director that the only reason you and your sworn enemy can tolerate each other on stage is because you both got so angry you rode his thigh until you both came?
you can’t — neither of you answers. you just look at each other, both of your cheeks pink, heartbeat in your ears. you swallow hard as haechan clears his throat awkwardly before hopping off the platform.
but that strange, dangerous something hangs in the air. the same something you both refuse to acknowledge — you feel it every time he walks behind you and your back stiffens instinctively. you feel it when his shoulder brushes yours just a little too closely and you pretend not to notice. you look at his mouth a second too long when speaks. he looks at your legs when you pace the stage and quickly looks away.
neither of you says anything. you’re fine. it’s just a normal rehearsal. nothing happened. nothing is happening.
except it is.
and it becomes extremely evident when you’re packing up and someone from the ensemble cracks the wrong joke at the wrong time. you bend to shove your script into your bag and that’s when it happens.
“hey, princess,” someone snorts. you’ve hated that nickname since high school but hearing it from someone else makes your entire body go rigid, “you should really wear something under that skirt besides that black underwear, especially when you’re on that balcony.”
the entire room doesn’t go silent, no one else seems to be paying attention. but your blood roars too loud in your ears. slowly you turn, eyes narrowed at one of your castmates, sunwoo.
you were ready to fire back, eyes already in flames, mouth locked and loaded with a kill shot but before you can open your mouth, haechan’s already moving.
he steps in front of you like it’s instinct. shoulders squared. voice cool, but laced with venom, “say that again,” he says.
sunwoo blinks, caught off guard. haechan was always the first to rag on you, the first to poke until you snapped. he wasn’t supposed to be the one stepping in.
“relax, romeo,” the boy scoffs, “it was a joke–”
“no, go ahead,” haechan interrupts, his voice icy and his smile even colder, “say it louder. maybe you’ll get downgraded to the role of annoying extra who gets their teeth kicked in.”
the threat is quiet. clean. almost polite. but it lands like a fist. sunwoo stares for a second too long, then backs off with a bitter chuckle, “whatever you say, romeo,” he retreats towards the exit.
you’re left staring at haechan, confusion flickering all over your features, “what the hell was that?,” you demand.
he shrugs like it was nothing, like it was completely normal to threaten someone on your behalf, “no one gets to talk to you like that.”
your brows furrow, more confused than ever, “you talk to me like that.”
“exactly,” he says, looking you dead in the eyes, “that’s my job.”
there’s a pause. your heartbeat kicks up. you hate him. you want him. you hate that you want him. and he’s looking at you like he knows every thought you’re having—and is thinking the exact same thing.
you scoff and shove past him, muttering, “asshole.”
his voice follows behind you, low and maddening and far too close, “don’t pretend you didn’t like it.”
you whip your head over your shoulder, cheeks burning, “excuse me?”
“you heard me.”
the dressing room hallway is dim and too quiet now, everyone else has already left. you stop just short of the bathroom door, hearing his footsteps closing the space behind like a slow hung. you don’t look at him. you can’t. not when your skin is already betraying you with how hot it feels.
you shove the door open. he’s right behind you.
it shuts behind you with a sharp click. neither of you speaks. not for a beat. not for two. then you both move at the same time. instinct, gravity, need. whatever the hell it is.
it’s not a kiss. not right away. it’s a clash of bodies, of mouths, of breaths and need and denial imploding all at once. your back slams into the wall, his hand protectively behind your head as yours curls around his neck. you’re both too close and not close enough. teeth graze lips. fingers tangled in fabric.
“you’re so fucking annoying,” you whisper, jaw clenched, forehead pressed to his.
“yeah?,” he breathes, voice rough. his grip tightens on your waist, grinding you against the hard line of him through his jeans, “well, you’re cute and it’s pissing me off.”
“tell me you hate me,” you snarl, like saying it might make this feel less like surrender.
“i do,” he growled, voice thick with fury and something worse, something hungrier. his fingers were already sliding beneath your skirt, knuckles brushing your thigh and your body can’t help but react, arching into his touch, “so much, i can’t think straight” he spits, right before he tore your panties clean in half with a sound that echoes in the tiny room.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?!,” you shoved at his chest, just enough to prove you could. just enough to pretend you didn’t want this. enough to pretend your pride was still intact. like the heat slicking between your legs didn’t mean a damn thing. he was so goddamn hot. so infuriatingly, sinfully hot.
“you’re such a fucking whore,” he snapped, eyes burning into yours, “you knew we were rehearsing the balcony scene and you only wore this underneath,” he holds up the torn fabric like evidence, his smirk pure sin, “you did this for me, didn’t you, princess? wanted my attention that badly, huh?” his voice dripped venom, but his pupils were blown wide, starved.
“you wish,” you shot back, lifting your chin, daring him.
he chuckles, low and lethal, before lifting the torn fabric to his nose and breathing you in like he needed to live.
“you’re sick in the head.”
“and you smell so fucking sweet,” he murmurs, voice dark with need. then, without hesitation, he tucks your panties in his pocket and sinks to his knees like he was praying at an altar, his mouth finding you fast and filthy.
“fuck-” your head tipped back as your fingers clawed for purchase on the edge of the sink next to you, the other tangled tight in his hair, anchoring yourself to the madness he dragged you into.
he groaned into you like he was starved, tongue moving with filthy precision, like he’d mapped you out in a dream and now he was just following directions. you tried to keep quiet, tried to bite your lip, swallow your noises, not wanting to give him any gratification, but when he sucked on your clit like he wanted to ruin you, a sob tore from your throat.
“couldn’t stop thinking about your moans,” he rasps between licks, voice wrecked.
“shut the fuck up,” your hips bucked against his mouth before you could stop yourself.
he laughs into your cunt, the vibration sending lightning up your spine as he licked into you harder, tongue fucking in and out of your entrance. you tug his hair so hard he groans again and you hated how much that sound made you clench.
this is insane. this is toxic. this is absolutely the best head of your life.
“i’m gonna, fuck, if you don’t stop, i’m gonna come,” your panting now, legs shaking. the only thing holding you upright is his grip on your hips.
“good,” he growled, dragging you down further onto his tongue, “fall apart for me, princess.”
the nickname sounded hotter, echoing in your mind, pushing you to your limit as your legs trembled, thighs clamping around his head and then you’re unraveling – moaning, shaking, coming hard on his tongue.
he moaned into your slick, like your orgasm was his reward. like he was addicted to it. your nails scraped down the porcelain sink, the high-pitched whimper that left your throat is so humiliating, so raw, it almost didn’t sound like you.
when you finally loosened your grip on his hair, he pulled back with a wet, obscene sound, mouth glistening.
“still hate me?” he asked, licking your taste off his lips.
you're trembling, panting, mind spinning and completely undone,“more than ever.”
“good,” he said, standing to his full height. his hand curled around your jaw, thumb pressing hard against your bottom lip until it parted, “then you won’t mind if i choke you with my cock.”
you didn’t answer, but your lips stayed open. and that was all the consent he needed. with one hand, he undid his belt, the clink of metal sharp in the silence.
“on your knees,” he ordered, voice dark, deadly. you roll your eyes before you can stop yourself and the defiance crawls under his skin like static. you were so fucking irritating so he grabbed a fistful of your hair and made you, forcing you down until you were kneeling in front of him on the grimy bathroom floor.
face mere inches away from his cock – thick and heavy in his hand, already leaking for you.
“you’re gonna pretend you don’t want this too?” he asked, stroking himself slowly, deliberately, right in front of your mouth.
you hated him. you hated how beautiful his cock was. you hated how your mouth watered.
“fuck you,” you whispered.
“you wish,” he sneered, “now open that pretty, lying mouth, princess,” he slapped his cock lightly against your lips. and you hated how fast you obeyed.
he slid in with a deep groan, slow at first, savoring the heat of your tongue, the way your lips closed tight around him like you were starved for it. his fingers twisted in your hair, guiding your pace, slow, then faster, then rougher, like he was punishing you for every fight you’d ever started.
“look at you,” he snarled, hips snapping forward, “on your knees sucking my cock like it’s all you’ve ever fucking wanted.”
you moaned around him, which only made him twitch harder. he started fucking into your throat with a filthy rhythm, panting, groaning, praising and cursing under his breath.
“take it. come on, princess,” he growled, pushing in impossibly deeper, it felt like you were swallowing him, “-that’s it, fuuuck, just like that.””
your eyes watered, mascara smeared, spit pooling at the corners of your mouth as you gagged and gasped around him. your hands clutched his thighs, not sure anymore if you were pushing him away or pulling him deeper. he looked down at you with a snarl twisted into something almost reverent.
“you’re a fucking dream,” he growled, “wrecked, ruined, all mine to destroy.”
you wanted to slap him. you wanted to make him come so hard he saw stars — so you sucked harder.
his grip tightened in your hair, knuckles white, cock throbbing against your tongue as your head bobbed faster and faster, taking him deeper each time. your jaw ached, throat burned, eyes ruined, spit smeared your chin but you couldn’t stop. not when he was unraveling like that above you. not when his control, his cocky, unbearable composure, was finally cracking.
“fuuuck, y/n,” he groaned, hips stuttering, “y-you’re so fucking good,” he praises, letting out a guttural noise, halfway between a growl and a whimper, and you realized with vicious satisfaction that he was close. desperate. needy. whining like his life depended on it.
you looked up, tongue swirling, and the second your teary, ruined eyes met his, he broke.
“shit, f-fuck,” he slammed deep one last time, cock pulsing against the back of your throat as he came, hard and hot, filling your mouth like he’d been holding it back for days. his whole body shuddered. he cursed again, holding you there, breath ragged, chest heaving like he’d just climbed out of hell.
you swallowed every drop without breaking eye contact. then slowly, so slowly, pulled off him with a slick pop, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand like it was nothing. his eyes were still half-wild when he looked at you, dilated, glassy, like he wasn’t fully back in his body yet.
and yours? flat. cool. detached. or at least trying to be. trying to pick up the pride you let fall. trying to regain the control you easily handed over to him.
you stood, straightened your skirt, ignored the way your knees trembled a little and the way your legs threatened to give out. across from you, he tucked himself back into his pants in silence, hands shaking just slightly as he buckled his belt, your ruined panties peeking from his back pocket.
for a beat, the bathroom was silent, except for your shared breaths and the buzzing of fluorescent lights. then, like flipping a switch, you caught your reflection, instantly reminded of who you were, where you were, who you were with and what you just did. you hate him even more.
you patted your hair back into place, calmly pulling yourself back together and fixing your flushed lips and smeared mascara.
“no one finds out about this,” you said, tone flat, dismissive, like he hadn’t just unraveled inside your mouth.
“please,” he scoffed, lip curling, “i’d rather die than have people know i let your mouth anywhere near my cock.”
your gaze sharpened, but you didn’t flinch, “good,” you muttered, already moving toward the door, head high, ignoring how the air kissed your bare core with every step.
“wait,” his voice halts your movement, before you turn towards him, eyes already sharp, ready to cut.
“what now?,” you snap back. he didn’t answer at first, just shrugged off his jacket. takes three swift steps and he was in front of you, tying it low around your waist with the kind of ease that made your breath hitched.
“your ass bounces with every step, princess,” he said, lips brushing your ear.
you opened your mouth to respond but then he reached into his back pocket, pulled out your torn panties, and with a cocky smirk, stuffed them into his bag, “and this way, we’re even.”
for once, you had no words. you just pushed the door open and walked out. no thanks, no glances back, no trace of the filthy thing you’d just done. you moved through the hallway like your throat hadn’t just been fucked raw. like your pussy wasn’t still throbbing.
and a few seconds later, he followed, jaw tight, eyes dark, body calm, as if nothing had happened. as if he wasn’t still tasting you on the tip of his tongue. as if he wasn’t replaying the sound of your moans in his head.
as if the both of you hadn’t tasted your sworn enemy… and liked it.
ཐིཋྀ the fourth week of rehearsals
the script lay forgotten between you, crumpled in his sheets, its margins scribbled with notes and crossed-out lines. you’d barely made it halfway through act ii before the space on his mattress started feeling too tight. too hot.
you were supposed to be practicing. you were supposed to be fixing what you both ruined in week one. all the wasted rehearsals you spent glaring each other down, aiming snarky remarks instead of script lines.
instead, you were staring at the curve of his throat as he leaned back on his elbows, lips parted, legs spread just wide enough to make you clench. to make you remember how his leg felt between your thighs. and he was staring at you with that same dazed and cocky look. the one full of invitation, almost challenging you to do something about it. the one that says i know you want me too.
“focus,” you snapped, even though your voice sounded thin and you’re not sure whether the word is directed towards him or yourself, your hold tightened around the script like it could stop your traitorous hand from reaching out and doing something that’ll completely crush your ego.
“i am focused,” he murmured, dragging his gaze down over your bare legs, over your thighs, and resting, boldly, in the space between them. you could feel it, the phantom heat of his stare on your skin.
you snapped your fingers, “eyes up here, romeo,” you crossed your arms, “we promised mr. doyoung we’d take this seriously.”
haechan raised a brow, amused, “we’ve been taking it seriously for two weeks, look at us, i literally let you in my room just to rehearse.”
you narrow your eyes at him, “you say that like being in here is a reward.”
he smirks, “c’mon princess, let’s not lie, a million girls would kill to be in your spot right now,” a cocky grin on his face. you wanted to wipe it off. slap it away. kiss it away. you’re not too sure at this point.
“what? sitting on these bed sheets that you haven’t changed in weeks? the smell of axe body spray attacking their nostrils?,” you roll your eyes.
“i change those every week and i don’t even use axe, you must be smelling yourself,” he rolls his eyes.
“please, if i reeked of desperation and cheap cologne, i’d be you,” you shoot back, chin lifted, proud of the way his smirk faltered for half a second. you’ll never admit the way you secretly enjoy the smell of his cologne, the way it intoxicates you like a potion pulling you under a spell.
he sits up a little straighter, elbows propped on his knees now, eyes glinting with an infuriating mix of challenge and amusement. “desperation?,” he echoes, voice low, “princess, if anyone here’s desperate, it’s you. you’ve been eye-fucking me since you got here.”
your breath catches, partly from the audacity, partly because he’s not entirely wrong. but you recover fast, “please,” you scoff, “you’re the one looking at me like i’m your last meal.”
haechan laughs, head tilted back. he taps his fingers against his knee, a thoughtful little rhythm that drives you insane before leaning in again, “okay, fine. you wanna be serious? let’s be serious.”
you raise a brow, “that’d be a first for you.”
“let’s fuck.”
your brain blanks. for a second, it doesn’t even register, “what?!”
“lets just do it. get it out of our systems,” he says casually, like what he suggested wasn’t completely, absolutely, batshit crazy. “all this tension? it’s messing with rehearsals. so let’s just…,” he gestures vaguely between you, “rip the bandaid off. hate-fuck it out.”
you blink, trying to process his words. this had to be a joke. a dare. a trap, “you’re suggesting we sleep together for the sake of the theater department.”
“i’m suggesting we do everyone a favor and stop letting whatever this is,” he gestures again, less vaguely this time, at the very obvious, very mutual heat between you, “sabotage our performances. one time. no repeats. no weirdness.”
“oh there’ll be weirdness,” you mutter, folding your arms, your heart pounding in your throat.
“not if we’re adults about it,” he grins. that infuriating, boyish, charming grin, “can you be an adult, princess?”
you laugh, incredulous, “you? be an adult?, you still giggle when someone says ‘enter from the rear’ in stage directions.”
“okay, first of all, i see you laughing too,” he points a finger at you, that same stupid smirk still glued to his face, “second of all, im serious. we fuck and then we go back to being bitter enemies who can’t stand the sight of each other. clean slate.”
you stare at him, heart thudding, thoughts spiraling. it’s a terrible idea. the worst idea he’s ever had. but what’s even worse is the fact that you’re actually considering it.
“and what if you realize im the best fuck you’ve ever had and start following me around like a lovesick puppy?,” you quip a brow, a teasing smile on your face.
he barks out a laugh, cocky and careless, “never gonna happen, princess,” he says, leaning in so close you can feel the heat of his body radiating, “you’re not that good.”
you raise a brow, “that’s rich coming from someone who came untouched.” his expression darkens instantly, smirk faltering, the memory clearly still a bruise to his pride. you take this time to garner control and with no warning, you lunged — kissing him hard, desperate, sharp, messy. your teeth caught on his lip. you kiss him like he’s your last cigarette, like he’s something you have to burn through just to breathe.
he responds immediately, groaning into your mouth, hands flying to your waist, pulling you onto his lap, like he needed to leave fingerprints there.
you straddle him, fumbling with his shirt, dragging it up and over his head and shoving him backward until his back hits the bed with a grunt, “still think this is a good idea?,” you breathe, throwing your shirt over your head, leaving you in a lacy brown bra that makes his cock twitch in his shorts.
he props himself on his elbows, gaze dark and fixed on you as you strip, “no,” he says, eyes raking over your body like a challenge, “i think it’s the best idea i’ve ever had.”
your signature skirt rides up as you grind down against his hard bulge, enough to make him hiss.
“i still hate you,” you murmur, needing to remind yourself every single time.
“good,” he growls, thumbs digging into your waist, “say it again when i’m inside you.”
his voice grates in your ear. so smug. so loud. you slap him before you can think. not too hard, just enough to make his jaw twitch. he stares at you, stunned for half a second and then he smirks again, “god, you’re such a fucking brat.”
you slap him again, slower this time, deliberately, and he groans like everything about this turns him on. “you like that?,” you whisper, grinding harder now, testing him. he doesn’t answer, he refuses to give you any words of satisfaction.
instead his hand slide up your back, unhooking your bra with a practiced flick, the cool air hitting your hardened nipples before his large hands cupped around them, squeezing, mouth immediately latching on one nipple. he’s been wanting to see your tits since you were locked in that tiny room. and now that he has, he sucked like he was in complete bliss, eyes shut, wet and eager, tongue messily painting your breasts. you gasp, hands coming up to grip his hair, pulling him closer as your hips continue its slow grind against his hard, clothed cock.
“fuck,” you moan, every nerve lighting up. you’re soaking through your panties, whole body vibrating. you bounce harder, using him to reach your high as he continues worshipping your breasts with his lips, trails of his saliva littering your chest. his large hands make their way to your ass, cupping and squeezing but not controlling. not yet.
he lets you hump him harder and harder, trying to control the breathy whimpers slipping from him as he busies himself in between your breasts. your breathing was getting heavier, legs starting to give out, the friction was hitting your clit so perfectly and before you knew it, your orgasm washes over you, unexpected and all-consuming.
“look at you,” he murmurs, that damn smirk back again, breath hot against your ear, “already fucked out and we haven’t even started.” before you could reply, before you could argue, he flips you in a blur, pinning you to the mattress. his eyes are dark now, dangerous.
he yanks your skirt and underwear off in one go, leaving you completely bare for him. you looked so small in between his sheets and it drives him madly insane, “i’m only gonna say this once,” he says, eyes raking over your naked body, voice rough, “but fuck, you’re hot,” he compliments, almost.
you sit up, yanking his shorts down, large cock bouncing free from the last barrier between you, “you’re okay to look at,” you smirk. he rolls his eyes and slaps your hands away before you could reach out for him as he fumbles in his nightstand drawer, pulling out a condom, tearing the foil open with his teeth and rolling it on with ease.
he lines himself in your entrance, teasing his tip, that same devilish smirk plastered on his lips.
“admit you want me,” he grunts, hovering over you, a hand placed calculatedly on your neck, enough to choke you but not enough to completely block off your airways.
“no,” you hiss. he pushes in hard. no warning. no mercy. your back arches with a gasp, hands flying to his shoulders, mouth open in a soundless moan, his hand wrapping tighter around your neck, making your eyes roll back. he’s so so thick, you can feel him all around your walls, stretching you open inch by inch. he feels so good. too good.
“hate you,” you manage to whisper in between your breathy moans, even as your legs wrap around his waist.
“yeah?,” he pants, thrusting into you hard enough to make the headboard knock the wall, “say it louder,” he orders, finally releasing the hold he had on your neck and redirecting it to your breast, large hand squeezing tightly around the supple flesh.
“i hate you,” you moan and then you’re kissing him again, biting his bottom lip, swallowing the grunts he gives you. he sets a brutal pace, every thrust punctuated by the sound of skin on skin, by the filthy words he mutters against your neck. you push him in closer, wanting more, needing more.
“you’re so fucking needy,” he pants, voice tight, desperate.
“shut up,” you growl.
“make me,” he snaps back. so you slap him again and his face twitches, a deep, devilish chuckle slipping past his lips before he pulls out, flipping you over like you weighed nothing and pulling you up on your hands and knees before thrusting into you from behind, your face buried in his pillow.
he fucks you harder. the new angle hitting that spot over and over again you swore you could feel him in your stomach.
it was chaos. it was violence in the shape of pleasure.
“fuck,” you cry, “you’re so deep, so-,” his hand lands a slap on your ass, sharp and hot, the noise echoing throughout the room, making you bite down into the sheets.
“how do you like it?,” he grunts, landing another slap, hot and red, leaving tingles all over your skin. you were sure there were bruises in the shape of his fingertips forming all over you. you’re a mess of moans and incoherent words, each thrust wrecking your thoughts, your dignity, your hate.
you should be fighting him but all you can do is beg for more, “please, please, please, haechan, d-don’t stop,” and your cries do nothing but fuel him. the room continues to echo with the slap of skin and filthy words with your name in his voice and his cock in your pussy like he was trying to break you. you lose track of how many times you say i hate you. how many times he says it back. it becomes a chant. a rhythm. a promise.
you ride that line between loathing and lust until your vision whites out, orgasm hitting you like a punch in the gut, “haechan, fuck, i’m coming!,” you scream and he grabs your hair, pulling you back against him.
“go ahead princess,” he growls, “come all over my cock.” you shatter, gasping for air, jaw hanging open, shaking, as your eyes rolled back in complete pleasure, body going limp in his arms.
haechan doesn’t stop, hellbent on proving that he could last longer than you think. he shoves a pillow under you, continuing his relentless thrusts.
“fuuuck, how are you getting tighter?,” he grits out, “your pussy fucking loves me,” he groans, each hard thrust bringing him closer to that high.
you could cry from the overstimulation, “h-haechan–t-too much,” you stutter, gripping his thigh, tears forming in the corner of your eyes.
“you can take it, princess,” he says, voice low and dark. “i know you can. be a good girl and take it,” he grunts, still pushing into you with a force that rolls the tears down your cheeks.
eventually, the pain turns into pleasure again. blurring the line until you’re moving with him, lost in the pace, the heat, the hate. he chases his own high until his rhythm started shattering into jerky, desperate thrusts, “c’mon, princess, give me one more,” he grunts and all your body could do was follow his voice, immediately tightening around him and sending you to your third orgasm of the night.
he finally gives in with a low, wrecked groan of your name, burying his face in your neck as he shudders through it, hips slowing, grounding down into you until there’s nothing left but heat and sweat and the tremble in his arms as he holds himself over you.
when he pulls out, there’s a slick, lewd sound that makes your already flushed skin go warmer, the pillow beneath you, soaking. then he collapses beside you with a sigh, one arm slung over his eyes like the weight of everything that just happened is finally catching up to him.
silence swells between you. sticky and loud and way too fucking real.
your chest is still rising and falling fast, heartbeat trying to find its regular rhythm as you try to fight off the sleep that was wanting to overtake. you were so tired, so fucked out you almost gave in but your hate was still stronger and somehow your voice cuts through the thick silence, “we’re definitely not doing that again.”
he pauses, “...right.”
you roll onto your side, head propped on your hand, glaring at him like you can set him on fire with just your eyes, “that wasn’t hesitation.” you don’t ask him. you tell him.
he peeks at you from under his arm and shrugs, unbothered, “it was dramatic timing. theater major, remember?”
you groan, flopping back on the bed, rubbing your hands over your face, “god, i really fucking hate you.”
he grins, teeth sharp and full of bite, “yeah, well your pussy doesnt.” you grab the nearest thing, his shirt, and toss it straight to his face and he lets it sit there for a moment before peeling it off with an exaggerated sigh.
“asshole,” you mutter, already reaching for your clothes. ignoring the way your body was burning, a reminder of his touch, as you start dressing like you’re gearing up for a fight, like each item is a piece of armor you’re slapping on.
he watches you dress, that grin never really leaving his face but his eyes are softer than they should be. quieter. and he doesn’t say a word as you reassemble yourself.
within minutes, you’re both back in your roles, fully clothed and composed. like the last hour never happened. like he hadn’t just made you scream his name. like you hadn’t clawed his thighs so hard there’ll probably be marks tomorrow. like he hadn’t left bruises in the shape of his lips all over your skin. like the tear stains you were sporting wasn’t evident.
you pick up your script off the edge of the bed. it’s bent now, pages wrinkled. a souvenir from the chaos you two just unleashed. neither of you acknowledge it.
“start from your cue,” you say flatly.
he leans back against the headboard, flipping lazily through the script like nothing about this is new, like his cock wasn’t just inside you, “with love’s light wings did i o’erperch these walls…”
you roll your eyes, glaring “try saying it like you don’t want to fuck me.”
“i dont want to fuck you,” he deadpans, then glances at you with a smirk, “again.”
you shoot him a look so cold it could kill. he delivers it properly this time, and you move through the scene with professional precision except for the way your voices crack at the edges, how the eye contact lingers a beat too long.
the air between you is no less charged. if anything, it’s worse now. every line feels like a double entendre. every accidental brush of fingers feels like it might ignite something again.
you finish the scene without a word about what happened. no apologies. no acknowledgments. no we shouldn’t have done that.
then you shove the script into your bag, sling it over your shoulder, and walk to the door. “you’re leaving without a goodbye?” he calls out, that cocky lilt back in his voice.
you pause. not enough to turn. just enough to make him think you might. then you say, “we’re not friends, haechan. we don’t joke around. we rehearse. that’s it.”
and you leave. down the hall, around the corner, out the front door, your pulse still racing, his scent still clinging to your skin like it’s branding you. your body aching with the memory of his mouth, his hands, his body.
back in his room, haechan stares at the closed door. the tension in the air still hasn’t left. he sighs, eyes trailing back to the script. he lets it drop from his hand, the pages flopping limply to the floor. then he throws himself back against the mattress like he’s trying to forget the way you felt. the way you sounded.
his body still buzzes. his mind’s a goddamn storm. he drags a hand through his hair and covers his eyes with his arm again, “what the fuck did I just do?”
he’d told himself this was about getting you out of his system. that one fuck would fix it. but now? now you’re under his skin in a way he doesn’t know how to undo. every nerve remembers you. every inch of him aches for you. and every second since you walked out that door feels empty.
he groans to the ceiling, voice thick with frustration and something he won’t name. “well,” he mutters, sarcasm soaked in something bitter, “that worked great.”
ཐིཋྀ the fifth week of rehearsals
it’s been a week since the night that didn’t mean anything. you’d both agreed. no repeats. one time. clean slate. but the slate wasn’t clean. it was cracked and humming with everything you weren’t supposed to feel.
you’re on stage now, under the harsh fluorescents of the theater department’s rehearsal room, with your script in one hand and your heart lodged somewhere in your throat.
the scene is simple. romeo flirts. juliet flirts back. they kiss. easy. you’ve done kissing scenes a thousand times in other productions. but now? now your body remembers the exact weight of him. how he sounds when he groans. how he says your name like a sin he’s proud of committing.
mr. doyoung looks up, “let’s take it from romeo’s line, build the moment, don’t rush it.”
haechan nods, exhales, and steps into character, “have not saint lips, and holy palmers too?” his eyes are on you and it's not romeo’s gaze. it’s haechan’s. intense. knowing. annoyingly smug. feeding his line like nothing happened between you.
he leans in, perfectly in character as you follow through, finding juliet’s voice with ease, “ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”
“o, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, gran thou, lest faith turn to despair,” he continues, both of you smoothly moving through the stage, dancing around each other’s bodies.
“saints do not move, though grant for prayer’s sake,” you deliver the line perfectly, professionally.
“then move not, while my prayer’s effect i take,” he murmurs, inching the space closer and closer, twirling you around in his arms, and finally kissing you like his life depended on it . like he couldn’t wait a single second for this moment. completely capturing romeo’s yearning spirit.
and it’s evident as day that your body remembers everything from that night.
the kiss goes on a beat too long and for a second you almost forget you were in the middle of a scene until he’s in character again, “thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”
“then have my lips the sin they have took,” you respond immediately. his eyes flicker to yours and you see it. he remembers too. every second of it.
“sin from my lips? o trespass sweetly urged!,” he continues, leaning in once again, following the script perfectly, “give me my sin again,” he says, placing a sweet kiss on your lips. all too different from the kisses you’ve shared before.
“you kiss by th’ book,” you end the scene as his lips travel down your neck, igniting that heat in your stomach. mr. doyoung was taking his sweet time yelling out cut. you can feel haechan’s smirk against your neck and it’s taking everything in you to not end the scene yourself.
mr. doyoung rises from his chair, clapping slowly, and finally yelling out the one word you needed to breathe. you both jump back immediately like touching each other burned.
“there it is,” he says, “my romeo and juliet,” he dramatically wipes a fake tear from his eyes, “absolutely beautiful. from the top!,” he says excitedly and all you could do was follow his directions. pretending every single touch isn’t affecting you way more than you would ever admit.
you’re not losing this battle. not letting him know that the one time one fuck proposal didn’t work. and haechan, sure as hell, isn't backing down either.
THE BIGGEST, MOST ANTICIPATED PARTY OF THE YEAR: HALLOWEEN NIGHT @ THE DREAM FRATERNITY
haechan scans the room, it was their busiest party of the year. the most chaotic, most fun, most prepared party he and the boys ever have to plan. and now the dream house is packed with costumes, glitter, smoke, chaos. he’s dressed as some version of a vampire, sexy but not too much, his funny, charming side taking over.
he spots mark and kitten across the room, near the couch, in their spiderman and black cat costumes, trying, and failing, to do the spiderman kiss. there was jaemin and angel groping each other on the dance floor wearing matching hermione and ron costumes and in the corner in the back near the kitchen was jeno and bunny caught in a heated makeout session with their ash and pikachu costumes on. and yes, jeno is pikachu.
and then you walked in. he knew you would be here. it was the only dream party you attended because everyone attends it. it was either this or spending the night alone, watching scary movies by yourself.
you were dressed in a lacy red devil’s costume leaving no room for imagination. he shouldn’t even be looking at you. but he is. and his eyes zero in on the faint marks that were blooming on the exposed skin of your breasts. you didn’t even care that people saw them. but he knew you would have if people knew that those marks came from his lips.
he feels his pants tighten in his jeans. he really needed to get a good fuck. maybe it’ll stop you from plaguing his mind.
“can’t believe i’m part of the singles fuck boy club,” renjun says, snapping him out of the trance you trapped him in.
haechan smirks, “take it as a win,” he takes a sip from his drink, “more ladies for us,” he winks, just as jisung and chenle walked up to them.
“so, who do you have your eyes on tonight?,” chenle asks, a smirk on his lips.
haechan chuckles, looking around, his eyes glossing over your figure for a second before they land on the girl he’s been trying to get with since the first party of this year, “ryujin,” he smirks. ryujin – dance major, one of the university’s best.
“how about you, my little protege?,” haechan asks, turning his attention to jisung, the rest of the boys awaiting his answer.
jisung smirks, already knowing the answer, “wonyoung.”
renjun’s jaw drops, “jisung, she might be a freshman but she’s completely out of your league.”
jisung just chuckles, haechan chuckling with him, “hey, don’t doubt my boy,” he says before patting jisung in the back, “just remember everything mark and i taught you,” he winks before jisung took a shot and disappeared into the crowd.
“his head is getting bigger, you know,” renjun rolls his eyes.
“that’s fine, let him have his fun,” chenle says, “now let’s go find you a girl so you’re not so grumpy all the time,” he drags renjun out of there, leaving haechan to fend for himself, a smirk still playing on his lips. and he can’t help it. his eyes dart back to your figure.
across the room, he sees you laughing, too close, too bright, with some guy he doesn’t recognize. the guy’s in some lazy pirate costume, leaning in like he knows you. like he’s already been invited in and something in his stomach turns. something about you looking that comfortable makes him want to throw the nearest pumpkin straight at his head.
he remembers a time when he was privileged enough to hear your laugh. to make you laugh. to laugh together until your ribs were sore.
he absolutely hates it — the way that memory has been popping up in his head like a haunted time loop. he thought he got rid of it, buried it somewhere deep, he wouldn’t have been able to find it. but just a couple weeks with you and all his work for the last five years go down the drain.
he forces himself to look away, making his way over to ryujin, dressed up as bella from twilight. oh, this was going to be too easy.
“hey pretty, you looking for me?,” he interrupts the conversation she was having with another guy, smoothly and all so charming, the way he usually is.
ryujin lets out a giggle, “hmm, i could’ve sworn i was talking to another vampire,” she says, voice sultry and deep with desire.
“none of those vampires can compare to me,” he winks playfully, cocky as ever. and that was all it took before ryujin was pulling him down for a kiss.
he lets his mouth move against hers, hot and fast, but completely hollow. she tastes like candy, vodka and sticky lip gloss, her hands gripping at his arms like she owns him. his mouth is probably smeared with red now, and she moans like it means something.
but to him, it means absolutely nothing.
there’s no fire. no heat. no pulse-racing thrill behind it. no push and pull. no sharp banter humming beneath the surface. he was making out with a girl he’s been trying to get with since the first party of this year and all he could think about was how different it was from kissing you.
god, you were so fucking irritating.
he opens his eyes in the middle of the kiss, and to his unfortunate luck, he makes direct eye contact with you. across the room, half hidden in shadows and flashing lights, your gaze is locked on him but there’s no challenge there. no eye-roll. no smirk. nothing that makes you, you. just eerie blankness, almost like you were looking through him.
something’s wrong.
he pulls back abruptly, ryujin still chasing his lips with a frustrated sound. “give me a second,” he mutters before completely leaving her standing there on her own. an angry scoff follows him as he pushes through the crowd, all of his attention zeroed in on you.
he walks across the room, watching your every move. you’re swaying a little. not like you’re dancing. like your balance is off, disconnected from gravity, from control. the look in your eyes is unresponsive and you’re blinking so incredibly slow. and the pirate is still right next to you, standing way too close.
his hand lands on your waist. then he presses a kiss on the side of your neck and haechan moves through the crowd like a storm, pushing everyone out of his way.
he grips the guy’s shirt and yanks him back, stepping between you and him like a wall of fire. he grabs your wrist, grounding you, voice low but unshakeable, “we’re leaving.”
you blink up at him like you’re seeing the sun for the first time, “donghyuck?,” you smile softly, too sweetly, and it takes everything in him to not kill the guy who did this to you.
“did you drink something?,” he asks, firm but gentle. you nod slowly, lips parted like you’re stuck in a delayed reaction. he brings the cup to his nose – fruity, sticky-sweet but there’s something else. something chemical. and then he sees it, the powdery film at the bottom, confirming his prediction.
his stomach drops. rage coils in his gut. he grabs the drink, tossing the liquid in the nearest plant and fists a hand in the guy’s shirt before shoving him backward, “touch her again and i’ll break your fucking face,” he seethes. the guy stumbles back, arms raised like he’s innocent.
mark notices the commotion before anyone else does, quickly stepping in, kitten by his side with wide, concerned eyes, “dude, what’s happening?,” he speaks low and in control.
“he drugged her,” he growls into his ear. mark’s eyes widen, sharp and alert “i’ll handle him. you take care of her,” he says.
haechan’s attention was back on you in an instant. your balance is off, feet shifting clumsily, eyes blinking slow and unfocused, pupils dilated.
he crouches slightly so he’s at eye level, “hey, come with me, okay?,” he says softly. you lift your head to look at him, your lips parting into a dreamy, dazed smile. you manage to nod once before your body gives out, knees buckling, weight tipping forward. haechan catches you before you can even fall. you land into him like you were meant to be there, cheeks pressed to his chest, body in his arms.
you giggle softly, the sound barely audible over the music. it’s airy. almost innocent. it breaks his heart in two.
“warm,” you mumble into his shirt. “you’re so warm, hyuck.”
his heart squeezes painfully, trying to push away that all too familiar feeling of his nickname on your tongue. the nickname you gave him. the way it sounds so soft as if somewhere in the haze and fog in your brain, some part of you knows you’re safe with him.
without a word, he lifts you into his arms bridal style. your arms immediately wrap around his neck, hands clinging like he’s your lifeline.
“up we go,” he says softly, carrying you through the house, ignoring every curious stare, every muttered comment.
you nuzzle closer, relaxing into his body like it’s familiar, lips brushing his jaw, and he nearly stumbles, “you smell so good…why do you smell so good…?”
he hides his smirk. you told him he smelled like axe just a week ago. “because i shower, dumbass,” he mutters. the insult wasn’t needed but hey, he can’t help it.
in his room, he kicks the door shut with his foot, setting you gently on the bed.
but you don’t let go.
your hands are still on him, clutching his shoulders, his shirt, anything. you whine when he tries to pull back, “nooo, hyuck, don’t go,” you pout like a child.
your breath fans against his neck, lips brushing so close to his skin that he shivers, “need you…” you whisper, almost too faint to catch. it guts him. he carefully pulls back just enough to look at you, his hand coming up to cradle your cheek and your eyes flutter open, slow and unfocused, but locked on him.
and then you lean in. soft. uncertain. your lips part slightly, tilting toward his like muscle memory.
and his heart lurches. he wants it, god, does he want it. but not like this. not when you’re not fully you. not when you won’t remember. not when it would feel like taking. so he stops you.
he leans back, gently pressing his fingers to your lips, “hey,” he says quietly, “not right now.”
you blink, confused. hurt flickers across your face, “but i want—”
“i know,” he whispers, brushing your hair out of your face with heartbreaking tenderness. “but you’re not… you’re not okay right now. you’re not thinking clearly and you’re gonna hate me even more if i let you do this.”
you stare at him for a long moment, your expression folding into something soft, something fractured. your voice comes out barely audible, “you always ruin everything.”
he lets out a quiet breath through his nose, crouching down to your eye level again, “yeah,” he murmurs, “i’m really good at that.”
you’re trembling now, whether from the drug or emotion he can’t tell. he reaches for the edge of his hoodie draped over his desk chair. then he coaxes you out of your costume.
you let him take care of you.
he slips the oversized hoodie over your head in an instant. it swallows you whole, falling to mid-thigh, sleeves engulfing your hands, covering more than your costume ever did. then he grabs a pair of his clean sweatpants and helps you step into them, rolling the waistband until they don’t fall off.
“there,” he murmurs, tugging the hood up over your head, “much better,” and seeing you in his clothes makes his heart skip a beat.
you blink up at him, dazed and warm, “smells like you.”
he chuckles softly, “well, that’s cause it’s mine, princess” he says, the nickname landing so gently he’s almost glad you won't remember this. he guides you back on the bed, his hands warm and careful on your shoulders, like he’s afraid you’ll break. you lay down like a sleepy cat, limbs loose, fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie.
he crouches in front of you, steady and patient, watching you with an unreadable expression. the room is dim, hushed, wrapped in the kind of silence that comes right after chaos.
then you say it. quiet. barely there. like a secret.
“i didn’t want to hate you.”
his breath catches. he wanted to ask so why do you?
he’s never figured out. why things between you turned so bitter. why you suddenly started twisting a knife behind his back. and why he grabbed that knife and pointed it at you. but he know it’s wrong to get information out of you in this state. not when your eyes are glassy, your words a half-conscious confession spilling out like a secret you didn’t mean to say. you’re too far gone to argue. too soft to lie.
you’re still looking at him, but your eyelids are heavier now. the words just fall from your lips, unguarded. honest in a way you never let yourself be sober, “you made it so easy sometimes though” you murmur, the corners of your mouth tilting in something that’s not quite a smile, not quite pain, “being loud. being cocky. saying shit you didn’t mean just to piss me off…”
his heart is thudding so loud he’s sure you can hear it. there’s so much he wants to say. apologies, defenses, explanations. but before he can say anything, your body shifts, sinks into the pillow, limbs going limp as your breath evens out and your eyes flutter shut.
you’re asleep. just like that.
haechan stays kneeling beside the bed, frozen in place. his gaze traces the soft furrow of your brow, the way your lips part slightly as you breathe. he wonders if you’ll remember any of this tomorrow. if you’ll pretend it never happened. if you’ll regret letting your walls down for even a second.
“i didn’t want to hate you either,” he whispers, voice barely audible over your breathing.
there’s a pause. a longer silence.
“i don’t even know why i hate you,” he admits, softer still. but you’re already gone.
and yet, he stays beside you a little longer, resting his head on the edge of the mattress, eyes never leaving yours, like if he just watches long enough, maybe he’ll figure out where it all went wrong.
the morning light filters through the curtains. everything is quiet. too quiet.
you stir slowly, the ache in your head blooming behind your eyes like a storm cloud. your limbs are heavy, your mouth dry and your body is wrapped around a warmth that doesn’t belong to your bed.
it takes a second for the fog in your mind to lift, but when it does, your heart skips.
you’re not in your room. you’re in his. and he’s right there – lying beside you, one arm flung over his eyes, hair tousled, chest rising and falling with deep, even breaths of someone who stayed up way too late.
you freeze. every part of you tenses as your gaze darts down to your body — hoodie and sweatpants, both way too big, wrapped around you. you exhale in quiet, stunned relief, but your heart is still pounding, “what the hell?” you whisper, rubbing your temples.
at the sound of your voice, he stirs, groaning, blinking against the light like it personally offended him then his eyes land on you.
“you’re up,” he rasps, voice thick with sleep. he stretches lazily like he doesn’t feel the full weight of your stare on him. “you okay?”
you blink, “why am i here?”
“you were drugged,” he says plainly. no softening. no sugar-coating. “some guy slipped something in your drink.”
the room tilts. you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to recollect memories from last night. the fear of what could’ve happened gnaws at your insides.
“i got you out before anything happened,” he adds quietly, “you were… not yourself. clingy. slurring. said i smelled nice, for some reason,” there’s a light, teasing tone in his voice.
you shoot him a glare, despite the pounding in your head, “you do not smell nice.”
he grins faintly, because of course, even now, all you could do was insult him, and it was all he needed to know that you were safe and back to normal, “okay, sure.”
silence stretches between you as you sit up slowly, piecing together flickers of last night. the music, the lights, that sickly sweet drink. the guy in the pirate costume. then — the warmth. the voice you’d know even half-conscious. you glance down at the hoodie you’re drowning in. his scent is faint but still there.
“you changed me?,” you ask, eyes wide.
he nods, propping himself up on one elbow, “you were half-passed out. you needed to sleep it off. i didn’t look, i swear. i just helped.”
you believe him. strangely, you do, “thank you.”
he raises an eyebrow like he wasn’t expecting that.
“you’re welcome,” he says, softer now, “just… be more careful next time, okay?”
you look away, the words settling heavy between you, “i didn’t think…”
“exactly,” he cuts in, voice gentle but tired, “you didn’t. that’s how shit like that happens.” his tone isn’t cruel. he’s not scolding you. he’s just…tired. and worried. and probably more scared last night than he’d ever admit.
you nod once. that’s all you can manage. you don’t want to admit how safe you felt. how it was his arms you clung to. how your body trusted him even when your brain was compromised.
but none of that changes anything.
you clear your throat, “well, thanks. but… that doesn’t mean anything is different between us.”
the faintest flicker crosses his face, unreadable, before it’s gone.
“didn’t say it did,” he says simply. then, “you hungry?”
you blink, “what?”
“i make a decent hangover ramen,” he says, already swinging his legs out of bed, “and i’ll even throw in some kimchi, if you promise not to puke on my carpet.”
you roll your eyes, “you’re such a dumbass.”
he shoots you a crooked smile. “yeah, but not as dumb as you, princess.”
you don’t respond. you just sit there in his bed, swimming in his clothes and your own confusion, watching him move through his room like this was the most normal morning in the world. you slip your shoes back on without a word, still wearing his hoodie and sweats. your costume’s somewhere in a pile on his desk chair, but there’s no way in hell you’re putting that back on. not after last night.
you follow haechan into the kitchen, as he hums some stupid melody, reaching for the pan and boiling the water. you stand awkwardly in the doorway, arms crossed over your chest like it’ll hide how massive his hoodie is on you.
he glances up, “you gonna sit down?”
you shake your head, “i just…i should go.”
he doesn’t fight you on it. just nods, quietly preparing the packs of instant noodles.
you turn to leave but stop short. three of the dream boys are coming down the stairs. they freeze in the hallway when they see you. so do you. the room goes dead silent and you look like a deer caught in headlights. his hoodie feels ten times heavier now, your legs bare in his sweatpants, and your hair a mess from sleep. you look like everything they think happened.
renjun raises a brow, “morning…”
jisung coughs loudly, trying to hide his grin.
chenle looks at haechan, who appears behind you a second later, “really?” he mouths, and haechan shoots him a deadly glare, the kind that says shut up without a single word.
but it’s too late. they all recognize you. of course they do. you’re not just any girl. you’re the girl — the one who’s made haechan stomp through the front door ranting and raving more times than any of them can count. the one whose name used to spark an automatic groan from someone in the room. the one who once made haechan so mad he slammed a door clean off its hinge, then spent two hours denying it had anything to do with you – you’re a household legend. a walking migraine. the ongoing war he never seemed to win but kept returning to like clockwork.
so to see you, standing in their house, in his clothes, the morning after the biggest party of the year is definitely strange. you look like you spent the night tangled up in something intimate. something that doesn’t match the version of events they’ve heard a hundred times over.
the air goes stiff with curiosity and thinly veiled amusement. you straighten your back, refusing to flinch, “nothing happened.”
“sure,” jisung says, not even trying to hide the smirk.
“seriously,” you snap, “i got drugged and he just…helped me.”
renjun tilts his head, worry flashing over all of their features “you good?”
you pause, then nod, “yeah. i’m good.”
haechan steps beside you, voice casual but firm. “she’s telling the truth.”
his words shock you. you were half expecting him to stay quiet.
then you feel the shift in the room like a breeze that slips through a cracked window. they move on, the scent of the ramen calling out to them like moths drawn to the light. you continue your path toward the front door, haechan follows, footsteps soft behind you like a shadow that doesn’t want to overstep.
you reach for the door then pause, glancing over your shoulder, “thanks,” you say again, quieter this time, it slips out like a confession.
his eyes meet yours, steady and unreadable “anytime.”
and somehow, you know he means it. not in the casual way people toss that word around — you see it in the way his posture doesn’t shift, in the way he doesn’t look away, in the quiet steel under his tone. you knew that if it happened again, god forbid, it would be him again. coming to your rescue. without hesitation. without conditions.
something in your chest cracks. not from last night, not from the near-miss or the weight of fear. but from a memory. a time in the past, years ago, that you shoved deep into the vault of things too painful to touch.
as soon as the front door clicks shut behind you, silence settles over the house for a beat. then it erupts.
jisung is the first to crack, “bro,” he looks up at haechan, gaping, as they all sat in the kitchen, “what happened to i hate her so much i’d rather die than be caught with her?’”
renjun chokes on his coffee, suppressing his amusement, “no, no, i think it was more like, if i ever even breathe the same air as her willingly, just kill me,” he says, mocking his friend.
chenle snorts, a playful smirk on his lips, “do we kill you now or later?”
haechan doesn’t even bother trying to defend himself. he just drops his head back with a groan and laughs, loud and shameless, the sound echoing off the kitchen walls, “you guys are so annoying.”
“not as annoying as the fact that she left wearing your clothes,” chenle says, waggling his eyebrows, “your hoodie, dude. the hoodie. the one you said no one’s allowed to borrow because it’s your emotional support layer.’”
“she needed clothes,” haechan says, rolling his eyes and grabbing bowls from the cabinet, like none of it was a big deal. like you didn’t just crack down all the years of hate with one simple call of his name.
“what, i was supposed to let her wander the streets in a lingerie looking like she escaped from a halloween thirst trap?”
renjun squints at him, mock-serious, “you’re in love.”
this elicits a groan from jisung, “oh god, not another one…the other three literally makes me want to vomit.”
haechan rolls his eyes, “i’m not in love.”
“sure,” chenle and renjun say in unison, like a damn choir.
“okay, first of all,” haechan says, gritting his teeth, holding up a finger, “i don’t even like her.”
“uh-huh,” chenle says, “that’s why you stayed up all night babysitting her and making sure she didn’t die.”
“oh my god, did you tuck her in?,” renjun asks.
“i didn’t tuck her in! she just…passed out, and i put a pillow under her head like a civilized human being!,” he reasons out, “plus it’s our party, she’s our responsibility,” he says seriously.
that silences them for half a second. just long enough for his words to land, “yeah, okay,” jisung says squinting, “but you could’ve just called one of her friends to bring her home, not spend the party of the year taking care of her…i mean ryujin was right there!”
haechan slams the ramen bowls down on the counter, harder than necessary, but not quite angry. just exasperated. like he’s been circling this same conversation in his own head since sunrise.
“fine. okay. whatever. you guys win,” he mutters.
there’s a pause, then jisung leans forward, eyes wide with mock innocence, voice pure mischief, “so you do like her?”
“i loathe her,” haechan says with a perfectly straight face, “can’t stand her. makes my blood boil. hate her so much i—”
“—gave her your bed, made her ramen she didn’t even eat, and threatened chenle with your eyes,” renjun finishes without missing a beat, sipping his coffee like he’s watching the best drama of the year unfold in real time.
chenle throws in a lazy, “don’t forget the hoodie,” for good measure.
haechan snorts, “you guys suck.”
they dissolve into laughter around him, loud and chaotic and full of affection. and haechan doesn’t stop them. because deep down, he knows they’re not wrong.
something is changing. cracking open. he felt it when he heard you say his name, all light and smiles like it was genuinely directed at him. he felt it when he saw you asleep in his bed, curled into his hoodie like it was the only safe place in the world. he felt it when your voice cracked saying thank you.
and now that feeling is lodged somewhere between his ribs, sharp and impossible to ignore. but he’s not ready to name it. not yet. so he grins, serves the ramen, and lets the teasing continue, pretending it’s just another morning with his idiot friends.
ཐིཋྀ the sixth week of rehearsals
rehearsals resume like nothing happened. like there wasn’t a near assault. like you didn’t sleep in his bed. like he didn’t stay up all night watching you breathe just to make sure you were okay — but of course, something has changed.
you still bicker. constantly. relentlessly. but it’s not as sharp now. not as mean. it’s irritation tinged with something unspoken. something softer.
mr. doyoung claps his hands, excited and ready. his vision of romeo and juliet when he casted you both slowly coming to life, “okay, let’s do the balcony scene!” the same scene you two could never get through before.
you climb up the makeshift balcony without any further instructions, the rickety platform still wobbling under your feet like it did during the first week. haechan stands below, glancing up just as you grip the railing and start juliet’s lines again, voice laced with practiced longing, “o romeo, o romeo, wherefore art thou–”
before you could finish your line. a crack echoes throughout the stage. it happens fast. the board beneath you splits, you were falling through, a flash of panic in your eyes as you unsuccessfully tried to grip on to whatever you could find.
haechan lunges forward, catching you mid fall with a grunt as your body collapses into his. you hit the ground hard, him first then you crashing into his chest with a force that knocks the air out of your breaths. chaos erupts. voices shouting. mr. doyoung yelling for someone to call the campus’ nurse. a cast member swearing in the background. but haechan doesn’t hear any of it. all he sees is you. your face twisting in pain as you try to sit up, only to wince and clutch your ankle.
“don’t move,” he says quickly, arms tightening around you, “just, stay still.”
“i’m fine,” you mutter through gritted teeth.
“you’re not fine, you idiot,” his voice cracks at the edges. more panic than anger. he shifts carefully, helping you sit upright before reaching down to gently examine your ankle. you hiss when he touches it. he flinches like it hurts him.
“swollen,” he mutters, “probably a sprain,” he says seriously. the kind of serious you’ve never seen him before.
“oh my god, relax, i’m not dying,” you say, managing a breathless laugh.
he glares at you, “you fell off a stage ten feet high. that’s not nothing.”
“yeah. and you saved me. again,” your eyes narrow playfully, “what are you…my guardian angel now?”
“more like your full-time babysitter,” he snaps, but his voice is too soft to land.
“you care too much,” you tease.
“and you scare me too much,” he says, barely louder than a whisper but your heart still races and you’re not too sure if it’s the adrenaline or if it’s him — the crew surrounds you, someone finally arrives with ice and a first-aid kit. mr. doyoung is talking a mile a minute about liability and structural integrity and someone offers to help carry you to the nurse’s office but you wave them off.
“i’ve got him,” you say, jerking your chin toward haechan who still hasn’t taken his hands off you. he doesn’t even argue. just helps you to your feet, arm around your waist, guiding you slowly off the stage as you limp beside him.
no one says it. not you. not him. not any of the wide-eyed castmates watching the two of you walk away like something’s finally cracked open. but they all feel it. something has changed.
the clinic smells like antiseptic and lemon cleaner. you sit stiffly on the padded bed, ankle propped up with a wrapped ice pack, waiting for the nurse —haechan’s right beside you, knee bouncing restlessly like he can’t stand seeing you in pain, “you need anything?,” he asks, voice gentler than it has any right to be, “water? painkillers? i can steal some candy from the front desk if that helps.”
you glance at him, lips parting, then closing. because that tone. that face. that tenderness you never asked for. it reminds you of before. the haechan who sat side by side with you, eating convenience store snacks, watching clouds drift by, sharing a wired earphone like you had all the time in the world. the haechan who walked you home without ever saying why. who pretended he didn’t like mamma mia! but knew every lyric by heart. the haechan who was loud and stupid and kind and yours. before everything fell apart.
the nurse finally walks in and checks your ankle. haechan stays seated in the plastic chair next to you, leg still bouncing as you listen to her instructions. when she finally leaves with a parting, “just rest it for a few days,” silence rushes in to fill the space.
you exhale slowly, “can you stop bouncing your leg? you heard her, it’s a minor sprain, i’ll live.” you can’t help but roll your eyes. he was being too dramatic. too caring.
“you scared the hell out of me,” he blurts, like the words have been clawing their way up his throat all afternoon.
you look at him, surprised by his bluntness, “i’m fine, haechan.”
“you weren’t fine when the stage gave out under you,” he snaps.
your mouth opens. closes. he keeps stealing the words right out of you. then he shifts, shoulders straighter, spine tighter.
“you said something last week,” he says, voice low, barely above a whisper “when you were half-asleep.”
his fingers tighten in his lap. the campus’ clinic is probably the wrong place for this conversation, but it’s been gnawing at him ever since you walked out of the dream house. and now it’s too big to hold in.
“you said you didn’t want to hate me,” you go incredibly still. so still it’s like your whole body locks up. the air in the room changes. you keep staring at the floor like the white tiles might split open and swallow you whole. of course you remember. curse your memory for never ever letting you forget anything, even when you beg it to. even drugged and half-conscious, everything from that night came back to you throughout moments in the week. like you’d be taking a shower and you’d remember the way you fell into his arms and called out his name or when you were eating lunch and the memory of you reaching out to him, trying to kiss him, hits the back of your head, making you cringe.
“so?,” you forced a breath through your nose. it comes out sharper than you mean it to but you don’t deny it.
“so i want to know,” he swallows, his voice is softer now, “why did you start?”
the silence that follows is thick. suffocating. haechan swears the wall inched closer with every second you don’t answer.
“i’ve been trying to figure it out for years,” he says, voice fraying, “what i did. why you started treating me like i was nothing. why you iced me out like i didn’t matter. like i never did.”
you lift your gaze, slow and deliberate and it hits him. not like a punch, but like a car crash. like every part of him is thrown forward, lungs emptied, heart shattered. there’s a grief in your expression he’s never seen before. not even on stage. this is real. too real.
and he waits. like he always used to. back when the two of you were something – not dating, not together, but something solid. something warm. something unshakeable. the kind of friends who stayed behind after rehearsal just to talk. the kind of friends who knew each other’s favorite snacks, who shared playlists and secrets and inside jokes no one else understood. the kind of friends that felt like home.
“don't you remember?” you finally ask, voice quiet, flat, tired.
haechan frowns, “remember what?”
you laugh bitterly, “of course you don’t.” a pause. a breath. a blade. “it wasn’t your name they were writing on the bathroom stalls.”
he sits up, straighter, alarmed, “what?”
“the closet. junior year of high school. you remember that?”
“of course i do,” he says immediately, “we were locked in there for what? half an hour?”
“forty-three minutes,” you reply, sharp as glass. and suddenly the memory slams into both of you — the closet during the winter play production of beauty and the beast. an accidental lock-in during prop duty, the two of you stuck in the cramped space. too much closeness. too many unspoken things. breath catching in your throat.
nothing happened – but by morning, it didn’t matter.
“you told everyone we hooked up,” you say flatly, “that night in the prop closet. you let them believe it.”
haechan’s whole face shifts, like someone just knocked the air out of his lungs, “y/n, i never said anything, i didn’t even–,”
“you didn’t correct anyone,” you cut him off, the memory still holding as much pain as it did before, “and then the rumors started, people were whispering about me in the hallways. calling me easy. and you just smiled and laughed and acted like it was funny,” your voice cracks and you hate that it does.
“what?,” his voice rises, he looks horrified. shaken. like the floor dropped out beneath him, “no, i didn’t know–”
you turn to him now, eyes blazing, every buried wound rising to the surface, “you let me take the fall. you let them slut-shame me into the ground and when i needed you to shut it down, you disappeared.”
he stares at you like something is shattering behind his eyes. he remembered that moment so differently.
“i thought you hated me because we almost kissed,” he says slowly, as if saying it aloud unearths something, “because i leaned in and i thought i ruined it by misreading everything. so when you started ignoring me, i thought i deserved it.”
you stare at him. your whole chest aches.
“i didn’t know they were calling you names,” he says, “if i had known, i would’ve–,”
“you were laughing with your stupid friends in the hallway,” you snap, tears burning behind your eyes, “smirking when someone made a joke. you didn’t care.”
“i did care!,” he fires back, voice breaking, “i was freaking out! i liked you! okay?,” the confession lingers in the air like smoke and all you could do was stare at him, eyes wide.
“—i liked you. and i didn’t know what to do with it and when people started assuming we were a thing, i….i liked it,” he breathes out.
you blink at him. silent. stunned. speechless.
“i was selfish,” he admits, quieter now, shame flooding his expression, “i got caught up in the idea of you and me and i didn’t realize you were paying the price.”
your expression cracks, disbelief twisting with heartbreak, “but you stopped talking to me,” you whisper, “i thought maybe you just saw me the same way that everyone else did.”
his head shakes desperately, over and over, “no. never.”
the silence afterwards is brutal, wrapping around the two of you like barbed wire. “i didn’t know how to fix it,” he breaks helplessly, each word torn straight from the center of his chest, “you looked at me like i was poison. like just being near you made everything worse. so i stopped trying. i didn’t want to make it harder for you.”
he paused, his voice going quieter, tighter, “you hated me so easily. or at least…that’s what i thought. after a while i convinced myself that maybe that’s what you always wanted and it hurt so i decided to hate you back.”
your jaw clenches. you look away, not because you don’t want to see him but because you can’t. because if you do, you might fall apart completely. haechan leans in. voice shaking. his hand tremble slightly where they rest on the edge of the bed, “but i never stopped thinking about you,” he says like he’s been dying to say it, “not once. and if i could go back, if i could take it all back, i would,” his voice cracks, “i don’t care if we’re supposed to be bitter enemies, if that’s the story everyone loves to believe now. i never wanted to lose you,” his hand twitches in his lap, “and i’m sorry y/n, i am so, so fucking sorry,” he finishes softly, voice filled with raw honesty.
you don’t say anything but your silence isn’t angry now. and the tears slip, silent and slow, dripping down your cheeks like memories you can’t scrub away. those were the words you’ve been aching to hear for years. he brings a hand up your face, slowly, carefully, tentatively like you might flinch. but you don’t. his fingertips graze your skin, carefully brushing away the tear that’s already fallen, thumb tracing the curve of your cheek like it’s sacred.
“please,” he whispers, “let me fix it. let me try. we don’t have to be anything big. just…let me be your friend again. i’ll do anything,” his voice breaks at the end and this time it’s desperation.
you say nothing for a long moment. instead, you look at him, really look. and it’s strange. the way grief can sit beside adoration. the way familiarity can hurt as much as it comforts. because you see the boy who made you laugh until your ribs hurt. the boy who stole your last gummy bear and shared his hoodie. the boy who would watch all your favorite movies with you. the boy who memorized all your favorite songs just so you could sing them together. but you also see the boy who stood by and let the world tear you apart. the boy you’ve spent the last five years resenting.
you see all of him. and for a moment, it makes it hard to breathe.
“i felt so alone,” you say at last, your voice so quiet, “you were my best friend and then overnight, it was like i didn’t exist to you. and every time i looked at you, i just kept thinking, why wasn’t i worth defending?”
he makes a pained sound, like the question cuts deeper than anything else. like he couldn’t forgive his own self for the hurt he put you through.
“i kept waiting,” you go on, quieter now, “for you to say something. to explain. to pull me aside and say hey, i didn’t mean for it to go like that. i didn't mean for it to hurt you. but you never did.”
haechan nods, small and slow, his shoulders hunched in shame. he doesn’t argue. doesn’t defend. he just takes every word like he knows he deserves it. another silence passes but this one feels different. lighter, maybe…sadder, definitely.
his gaze flickers to the pillow behind you as if looking at you now is too much. like if he sees the tears on your cheeks, he might start crying himself and never stop. you wipe at your face with the back of your sleeve, sniffling through a shaky breath “i don't know if i can be your friend again…not like before,” you say honestly and you see how the words break him. his chest rises too fast. his mouth parts like he wants to beg. he nods again, visibly swallowing, like he’s choking on all the apologies he can’t say fast enough.
“but,” you add softly, “i think i’m tired of hating you, too.”
his eyes meet yours, something flickering in them. fragile. hope.
“i think…,” you whisper, “maybe i want to know who you are now,” you add and he lets out a breath like he’s been holding it for years. like your words cracked a dam and let him come up for air for the first time in forever.
and then you say the words that make something shift in the air, make the angels sing all around him. “we could try,” you murmur, “not going back but maybe starting over?”
his lips part. body stills, afraid he had just imagined it, “you mean it?,” he whispers, voice trembling.
you nod once, slow, soft, “one chance, hyuck. don’t waste it.”
and the sound of his old nickname, your nickname for him, cracks something wide open in his chest. a broken, stunned smile pulls at his lips, trembles with disbelief. like just hearing it makes him feel alive again.
he nods, eyes wet, heart in his hands, “i won’t,” he says, “i swear, i won’t.”
ཐིཋྀ the seventh week of rehearsals
it starts quietly. no grand announcement. no dramatic reconciliation that leaves the audience gasping. just…a shift. a subtle recalibration in the air.
you walk into rehearsal, script tucked under your arm. you aren’t bracing yourself like you usually do. there’s no adrenaline-fueled armor laced tight around your spine. you just simply walk in, the same way you would if haechan wasn’t there.
and when you spot him across the room, lounging in one of the chairs, thumb lazily scrolling through his phone, something inside you clicks into a different gear. you don’t look through him like he’s invisible. you don’t burn holes into him with your glare. you just look and then…you nod. barely anything. but he sees it. his thumb stills. his head lifts. he meets your gaze. there’s no tension in his shoulders, no spark of challenge in his eyes. and then he nods back. just as slight. just as careful.
to the untrained eye, nothing monumental has happened. but to the handful of castmates who have witnessed your years-long cold war with the icy stares, the sarcastic jabs, the tension so thick it warped the air – it’s seismic. everyone curious as to what happened in the nurse’s clinic.
a pause ripples through the room. like someone's holding their breath. and then…he smiles. not the cocky, smug grin he used to toss your way like a dare. not the smirk that usually meant he was about to say something that would make you want to throw your script at his head. no. this one is soft, small, a little uneven. the kind of smile you give a stray cat you’re hoping won’t run away.
you feel the tug of something low in your stomach, not butterflies, not quite. just movement, a flicker. and your lips twitch into an answering curve. not a full smile. but not nothing.
one of your castmates, also one of your best friends, yujin, jolts so hard she drops her script with a thud that echoes louder than it should. no one helps to pick it up, everyone too busy watching the apocalypse unfold in real time. you pretend not to notice the stares. instead, you slide into your usual seat and flip open your script like it’s just another regular day, not the first page of something new. you don’t look at him again. not right away. but you can feel him. the way you always could.
mr. doyoung claps his hands twice, too enthusiastically, as if to break the spell or maybe because even he feels the tension lifting, “alright! today’s rehearsal…the wedding scene!” he announces, his smile extra bright, eyes darting between you and haechan.
you don’t flinch. you don’t groan or make a joke at haechan’s expense like you might’ve a week ago. you just flip to the page. from beside you, yujin leans in slightly, whispering out of the corner of her mouth, “are you two… friends now?” her voice is half hopeful, half afraid the answer might implode the timeline.
you keep your eyes on the script, “maybe” you murmur back, shrugging, voice calm, “but we’re not enemies anymore.”
she stares at you for a second like she’s trying to decode an alien language, then exhales sharply and mutters, “holy shit, i need a drink.”
across the room, haechan shifted forward in his seat now, elbows on his knees, script open, highlighter cap in his mouth. you glance up once, and he’s already looking at you. his mouth quirks. not a smirk. not a dare. just that same soft expression. your fingers tighten slightly around your script before the two of you take your spots on stage.
the rehearsal is going surprisingly smooth. almost like someone replaced the decades-old scripts of your dynamic with a gentler rewrite. one where your lines don’t burn with anger when you speak them, where eye contact doesn’t feel like a threat. you’re standing across from haechan in the middle of the stage, your fingers laced loosely in front of you, your posture careful but relaxed.
“romeo shall thank thee, daughter, for us both,” jongho says, fully immersed in his friar laurence voice, hands folded solemnly like he’s performing an actual ceremony. you glance at haechan as he steps toward you. he leans in and brushes a kiss to your lips, soft, almost reverent, and you do your best to ignore the tiny spark that settles in your chest and fizzles straight to your toes.
“as much to him, else is his thanks too much,” you say with quiet warmth, smiling through the line. you kiss him again, this one just a touch longer, just a breath closer than necessary.
he pulls back slightly, meeting your eyes, “ah, juliet, if the measure of thy joy be heaped like mine and that thy skill be more. to blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath. this neighbor air and…,” he trails off.
there’s a beat of silence. his eyes flick to the side. nothing comes. you raise an eyebrow, “o romeo, are you lagging?”
a ripple of laughter breaks out across the room. haechan narrows his eyes at you, but he’s grinning, the corners of his mouth twitching, “no my juliet, i’m connecting to the server.”
“oh, sorry, i forgot this version of romeo runs on the internet.” the laughter grows. even mr. doyoung chuckles softly from behind his script.
haechan places a hand dramatically on his chest, staggering back a step, “you wound me, juliet.”
you place a hand on your hip, “you forgot your line in the middle of our wedding. i think i’m the one who should be wounded.”
he opens his mouth to reply, but before he can get a word out, sanha, who’s been watching this unfold with wide eyes, throws in a “i knew it was too good to be true.”
the laughter dies down. there’s a shift, a pause, one of those delicate moments that could tilt either way. everyone glances between the two of you, waiting to see if the air will thicken with old tension again.
but then haechan shrugs, smile still soft, “can’t friends banter?”
the room stills. the word hovers between you like a fragile thing, spoken so casually but carrying so much more weight than anyone expected.
friend wasn’t exactly the word people would describe your relationship to be.
your heart skips, not in a dramatic way, just a quiet flutter, like it’s catching up to something your brain already knew. you look at him and he’s already looking at you. there’s something behind his eyes, a private little spark, a shared joke, like the two of you are in on something no else quite understands.
you smile, slow and real, “exactly,” you say, “friends banter.”
everyone goes quiet again, not with tension but surprise. you can practically hear the mental recalibration of the room. yujin’s mouth is slightly open, xiaojun has an eyebrow raise, jongho is looking back and forth in between you, wondering how he got himself stuck in the middle of all this.
mr. doyoung clears his throat and claps his hands once, “alright, let’s run it again. from romeo’s line.”
haechan pick up his script, quickly reading it over, still grinning. as you take your mark beside him, his shoulder brushes yours, barely noticeable but deliberate. neither of you move away.
the next day, after rehearsal ends and the cast slowly filters out, you find yourself lingering in the black box again, volunteering to put away the chairs. it’s quiet, dimly lit, the echoes of the day still in the air in half-muttered lines, scattered laughter, a crumpled water bottle forgotten in the wings. you’re sitting on the edge of the stage, kicking your heels lightly against the wood. then you hear footsteps, unhurried, familiar. haechan joins you a beat later, collapsing beside you with a dramatic groan.
“remind me why we volunteered for this, again?,” he sighs, eyes closed, head tilted toward the ceiling.
you smirk, “well, i volunteered for this because i haven’t helped out since week one. you just…showed up.”
he cracks one eye open and turns his head toward you, grinning, “right. my hero complex. forgot.”
you nudge him with your shoulder, and for a second it feels like nothing ever changed between you. like the years of eye-rolls and cold shoulders never happened. like you’re just you and he’s just him, and all the old memories you both tried to forget have started quietly knocking again.
“so,” you say playfully, “you do realize you completely blacked out on your monologue yesterday, right?”
he groans again, louder this time, slumping so far sideways he’s almost sliding off the stage, “don’t remind me, i saw my life flash before my eyes, mr. doyoung’s disappointment in 4k.”
you turn toward him, grinning, “my favorite part was when you just stood there, blinking like you got hit with a windows error.”
haechan throws a hand over his eyes, “i was reconnecting!, you caught me mid-update.”
you burst out laughing, the sound echoing off the walls. it makes him look at you again, and not in the usual teasing way. he watches the way your face lights up, the way your shoulders shake with it, and something in his chest aches – warm and familiar.
“i’ll admit,” you say between giggles, “that line delivery of mine? ‘o romeo, are you lagging?’ oscar-worthy.”
“you’re insufferable,” he grumbles, but he’s smiling too.
you both go quiet for a moment, the air between you charged in a way it didn’t used to be — or maybe always was, back before either of you knew what to call it.
“did you see jongho’s face?,” you ask, biting back a grin.
he grins, eyes lighting up, “he looked like he was witnessing a miracle. like we were gonna shake hands and start a foundation for world peace.”
“yujin nearly dropped her phone” you snort, “i think she thought she was hallucinating.”
he chuckles, nudging you slightly, “we should’ve milked it, gone on tour with our peace treaty, sold merch, team haechan and team y/n shirts.”
you roll your eyes, smiling despite yourself, “we’d have sold out shows every night.”
he looks at you for a beat longer than necessary, “you know… it’s weird.”
you glance over, “what is?”
“this,” he says quietly, “us. talking like this again, it feels…,” he pauses, searching for the word, “familiar.”
you don’t say anything right away, because you feel it too. that quiet pull. that ache. the thing that never fully went away. you both know it. you were each other’s person. before the hate took over, before the jabs. before either of you figured out that pushing someone away is sometimes easier than letting them in.
“yeah,” you say softly, “it does.”
then he shifts slightly, glancing sideways, “so…friends banter, huh?”
you raise a brow, “you said it.”
“and you didn’t disagree,” he says softer now. there’s no teasing in his voice, just curiosity.
you nod, “nope, i didn’t.”
he smiles. not that smug, sharp smile you used to hate. this one’s crooked, earnest. and you smile back, the same kind of smile, the kind you don't have to guard. the smile you give to a friend. but something in the way you look at each other says maybe not just that forever. maybe just that for now.
he bumps his shoulder into yours, “so, friend…you buying me lunch tomorrow?”
you scoff, “you forgot your lines. i should be the one charging you.”
he grins, that glint sneaking back into his eyes, “fine, princess. lunch tomorrow. cafeteria. my treat.”
the nickname is gentler now, filled with a sort of affection that makes your heart skip a beat. you tilt your head, pretending to consider, “as long as you don’t freeze mid-sentence again.”
he leans just slightly closer, his voice barely above a murmur, “only if you promise to tease me about it again.”
you pretend to roll your eyes, but you’re smiling…big now. unrestrained. the kind that feels like sunlight in your chest. you think about everything that’s happened. the years of arguing. the pushing and pulling. the kisses that weren’t on the script. the ones that came after, the magnetic pull of him. the electric tension you thought would destroy you both. now somehow reshaped into this — a strange, slow return to something lighter. something that still pulses underneath with heat.
you walk out side by side, the distance between you closer than it was yesterday.
the next day, true to his word, haechan meets you outside the cafeteria, two iced choco’s in hand and a stupidly triumphant grin on his face like he just won a prize.
“you drink this, right?,” he says, handing you one without waiting for an answer, “i know it used to be your favorite, i just don’t know if you still like it now,” he rambles, a little nervous.
you take it, brushing your fingers lightly against his, “of course I still like it now,” you say with a smile that you don’t quite realize is soft enough to knock the wind out of him, “thank you.”
“anything for the princess,” he winks as you roll your eyes playfully. you find a corner table by the windows, where the sun spills across the scratched plastic surface and turns your drinks gold. the campus buzzes around you, students passing by with backpacks slung low, the distant hum of conversations and clinking trays.
haechan orders sandwiches for you both, and without asking, skips the pickles on yours. you notice, and you don’t say anything, but the fact that he remembered that makes something in your chest swell and ache at the same time. there’s something undeniably easy about it all. about him. you fall into a rhythm of banter, half jokes, and snide comments wrapped in smiles that linger just a little too long. it’s almost too easy to forget that the two of you hated each other. almost too easy to remember that once, you didn’t.
you’re in the middle of a joke when a voice interrupts the moment — “hey, haechan,” your eyes turn towards the voice. it’s ryujin. and she’s leaning against the edge of the table, hair in a pretty messy bun in that effortless dancer way, water bottle in hand, wearing one of those crop tops that make everyone in the building do a double take. she flashes him a bright smile.
“you didn’t show up to the party last night,” she says, teasing but with a bite that suggests she noticed and cared.
haechan blinks like he wasn’t expecting her, “oh, yeah, i–uh, fell asleep early,” he shifts in his seat, his legs brushing yours under the table. then he glances at you, a quick flicker of a look, like a reflex. it’s so fast. he probably thinks you missed it. but you didn't.
ryujin giggles lightly and touches his shoulder, a fleeting gesture that might have meant nothing to anyone else, “we’re always missing out on each other,” she pouts.
you glance down at your sandwich. you can’t bring yourself to keep watching. your appetite vanishes somewhere between her hand and his smile.
“yeah,” haechan forced out, then clears his throat, trying to find words.
you miss the awkward way he scratches the back of his neck, the polite distance in his voice that doesn’t quite match ryujin’s energy. he’s not flirting back but he’s not shutting it down either.
ryujin’s gaze finally flickers to you, her smile dimming just slightly, “hey.”
you smile, sharp and polite “hey.”
she lingers. just enough to make it weird. then flicks her hair over her shoulder and turns back to him, “you’re mine at the next party, okay?”
haechan lets out a nervous laugh, “cool. yeah.” it comes out a little too fast, like he’s agreeing just to make the moment end. he wishes the ground could just swallow him whole. he doesn’t even know why the mere action of ryujin flirting with him around you is getting him all flustered.
she finally walks away and you don’t say anything at first. you take a sip from your drink just to have something to do with your hands. haechan exhales like he’s just escaped a fire.
you arch an eyebrow, still not looking at him, “you okay?”
he rubs his hands down his thighs, “yeah. that was…awkward.”
“didn’t look awkward from where i was sitting,” you mutter, voice a little sharper than intended.
he turns to you, caught off guard by your tone, “be serious.”
you poke the lettuce in your sandwich, “haven’t you been flirting with her since forever?,” you comment. it wasn’t exactly a secret to the rest of the university that the two had the hots for each other. just like how it wasn’t a secret that the two of you can’t stand each other.
“yeah, well. that was before,” he says without thinking.
“before what?,” you ask, raising a brow, your eyes finally meeting his.
he goes quiet. you wait. he’s already looking at you, his expression unreadable. there’s a long pause, like he’s debating something. then he looks away, his voice low “nothing. never mind.”
you don’t push. but your stomach twists in a way that’s hard to ignore. you weren’t supposed to care. he’s just a friend. that’s what you agreed on.
then he forces out a laugh, soft and a little shaky, he bumps your foot under the table, voice casual, “so” he murmurs, “you’re totally jealous.”
you nearly choke on your sandwich, “am not.”
“you looked at your sandwich like you wanted it dead,” he points out, teasing.
you narrow your eyes at him, but your lips twitch anyway, “you’re officially delirious.”
he grins, that same crooked, trouble-making grin that used to make your blood boil and now just… makes it rush. you roll your eyes and take another sip of your drink, hiding your smile behind the straw. but your cheeks feel warm. and your heart feels stupid.
because yeah, maybe you were jealous. and maybe that means this thing between you, this not-quite-friends, not-quite-something-else, is barreling toward a truth you’re both trying not to name.
the lights flash neon blue and pink over the velvet booths and sticky tables. it was karaoke night with your castmates. the room filled with laughter, everyone sipping cheap drinks, flipping through the karaoke’s binder, music pulsing through the speakers, everyone pretending they’re not stressed about the upcoming show. haechan leans against the booth, one arm resting over the backrest, drink in hand. usually you sit in the booth farthest away from him, but tonight, tonight you’re sitting right next to him, trying not to notice the way his shoulders brush yours every so often. the way it sparks something irritatingly warm in your chest.
“you do know you’re not getting out of singing, right?” you say, a smirk playing on your lips as you leaned over to talk in his ear, loud enough for him to hear over changbin and wooyoung currently performing hamilton.
he raises an eyebrow, ignoring the way your breath sends goosebumps all over his spine, “who said i was trying to?”
“you haven’t signed up once,” you point out.
“maybe i’m waiting,” he says, turning his head so you're closer than before, so close you catch the faint smell of his cologne, the woody powdery scent that makes your brain fuzzy, “for the right song and the right partner,” he glances at you. there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
“are you asking me to duet, lee donghyuck?,” you smirk.
“only if you think you can keep up,” he says, a playful smile on his lips.
minutes later you’re both up front, two microphones in hand. you give him a sideways glance as the intro to what is this feeling starts playing. haechan smirks when he sees the lyrics pop up on the screen.
“what is this feeling, so sudden and new?,” he starts. of course he was galinda, milking the drama, throwing in that little hair flip that makes you giggle. you both slip into character. the room blurs. it’s just you and him.
“loathing. unadulterated loathing,” he levels you with an exaggerated glare.
“for your face — your voice — your clothing!,” you match his energy, pacing in time with him like two cats ready to pounce. the song becomes a battleground, but its play fighting. banter wrapped around melody. and you feel like a child again.
“let’s just say we loathe it all!” you end, breathless and giddy.
the room erupts, howling with laughter and applause. but something about the moment slows. the harmony lingers longer than it should. haechan’s eyes meet yours, you don’t look away.
an hour later the bar started to empty out. castmates peel off into groups, calling rides or walking to the subway in clumps. you’re slipping your jacket on when you feel someone fall into step beside you.
“you’re walking home?” haechan asks casually, hands shoved in his coat pockets.
you nod, “it’s not far.”
“i’ll walk with you,” he says, like it’s not even a question. like it’s a given.
the streets are quieter now, only the hum of traffic and the occasional siren echoing down the avenue. the moon reflecting shimmer in puddles, and there’s a leftover thrill buzzing under your skin from the performance, from him.
he kicks at a pebble, glancing over at you, “so… we make a pretty good team.”
you bump your shoulder into his lightly, “don’t let it get to your head.”
“too late, princess” he says with a grin.
you walk in silence for a beat, the good kind, where it doesn’t feel like something needs to be said. then, softly, “we’re pretty good at being friends,” you murmur, eyes fixed on the sidewalk.
you feel him glance at you before he answers “yeah,” he says, just as quiet, “we are.”
your fingers don’t touch, but they hang close enough that the space between them feels loud. you look up at him then, and he gives you that crooked, genuine smile that always comes out when he thinks no one’s watching.
“thanks for walking me,” you say when you reach your building.
he nods, “always.” there’s a pause. that kind where you could either wave and walk away or not. then haechan opens his arms slightly, like he’s offering, but not assuming. and you don’t even hesitate. you step into him, arms wrapping around his torso. he’s warm and steady around your shoulders. it’s not rushed. not awkward. it’s one of those hugs that feels like it’s saying a lot more than either of you are willing to put into words just yet.
you breathe him in and for a second, it feels like the rest of the world goes quiet. he pulls back first, but slowly, like he’s not quite ready either. his hands brush your arms before he lets go.
“night, princess,” he says, teasing, voice a little huskier than before.
you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling, “night, hyuck.”
and even though nothing’s said, and nothing happens, it still feels like something changed. like you both felt it, even if you’re pretending not to.
hyuck: wanna come over and watch mamma mia 2 tonight?
princess: the one that came out when we hated each other?
hyuck: yeah, thought it might be poetic or whatever >.<
you almost laugh out loud when you read it. of all the movies. that one. the one released right in the thick of your worst arguments, during the year neither of you could say a full sentence without wanting to kill each other. the one you couldn’t bring yourself to watch in theater because all you could remember was watching the first one with him.
princess: will there be popcorn?
hyuck: of course
princess: see you later ;)
by the time you arrive at the frat house, it’s quiet. most of the guys are out for the night and the place, for once, feels peaceful. lived-in, but cozy. haechan greets you at the door with popcorn in one hand and remote in the other.
“just you, me and ABBA,” he says, a playful smile on his face as you make your way to his living room.
you smirk, stepping inside, “scared i’ll out-sing you?”
his laugh is automatic, “you wish.”
you settle on the couch, blanket tossed between the two of you. you don’t sit close, not at first. but as the movie plays, as waterloo kicks in and the popcorn dwindles and your feet end up tangled somewhere under the blanket, the space between you shrinks. neither of you mentions it. you both sing along, loud and obnoxious, voices overlapping in messy harmonies, especially during why did it have to be me, elbowing each other like teenagers. there’s a softness in it. a safety. like the memories that used to hurt have dulled around the edges and all that’s left now is warmth. you’re both grinning so hard it hurts. the kind of joy you haven’t let yourself feel around him in years. by angel eyes you’re leaning into him more than you mean to. his shoulder’s warm. you let yourself rest there, just for a second. but the second turns into minutes. and by the time my love, my life begins to play, you’ve gone quiet, breaths slow and even, your head tilted gently against him.
he doesn't dare move.
the movie goes on, but he doesn’t register it anymore. not really. he’s too aware of you, curled up beside him, cheek pressed into his hoodie, peacefully asleep. like you completely trust him again. and that’s when it hits him.
it’s not a surprise. not a sudden realization. just something he’s been trying to ignore finally catching up to him — he never stopped liking you.
not when you fought. not when you ignored each other in the hallways and on stage and in classes. not even when he flirted with other girls, trying to replace the hole you burned through him with something lighter, simpler. but no one ever did. no one even came close. because it’s always been you. under his skin. in his lungs. every song he sang louder just so you’d hear it. every stupid joke he cracked just so you would see him.
and now, god, now it’s stronger than ever. because he’s not just thinking about how right this feels. he’s thinking about you. the way you laughed tonight, unguarded. the way you trusted him enough to fall asleep on him like this. the way you’ve been slowly letting him back in.
but underneath that softness, beneath all the fragile peace you’ve built…is something hungrier. something heavier.
because now he knows the way your lips feel on his, hot and frantic, laced with fury and desperation. the weight of your body tangled with his, all tension and sharp edges and need. he remembers the night you both gave in to it. when everything between you collided and combusted and for a few stolen hours, nothing else existed. the sound you made when he was inside you. the way you clung to him like you hated him for how good it felt.
he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about it since. about you. that night. the taste of your skin. the way he wanted more, even then. the way he still wants more now — he wants to feel you again but not like that. not angry. not bitter. not as a mistake to bury. he wants to feel you without the weight of a grudge between you.
that’s what scares him the most. because you’re just starting to rebuild whatever fragile thread of friendship you’ve stitched together. if he leans in again, if he fucks this up, he’s not sure either of you will come back from it.
so he doesn’t move. doesn’t speak. just lets you rest against him, eyes fixed on the credits. heart beating loud and traitorous in his chest. he tells himself it’s enough but he knows it won't be for long because he never wanted to be just your friend — not really. not ever. not then. and definitely not now.
ཐིཋྀ the eight week of rehearsals
monday comes again you spot him in rehearsals, sitting in his usual chair. and for the first time, you chose to sit on the chair next to him. you wait for his usual greeting, that charming smirk, the lifted eyebrows, the dumb pun about how you finally couldn’t resist sitting next to the greatest.
but none of it comes.
he doesn’t raise his brows and say something stupid just to make you roll your eyes. he just nods. quiet and distant.
“hi,” you offer as you approach, a smile on your face.
“hey,” he replies, without looking at you. it throws you off. not completely. just enough that your smile falters a little.
but it doesn't stop there. during rehearsals, he’s all business. focused. he doesn’t crack jokes during warmups like he usually does. even when you fumble a line and instinctively glance at him for a reaction, he doesn’t meet your eyes. there are no friendly banters. it’s like someone hit the switch on him over the weekend. and sure, he talks to you. he doesn’t ignore you completely. but it’s colder. measured. like he’s rehearsing something behind every word.
at break, you sit on the edge of the stage like always but he doesn’t join you. he stretches with the boys instead, laughing a little too loudly at something that isn’t even funny.
you feel it — the difference. the detachment. like he’s edited you out of a movie scene where you once had top billing.
you watch from across the room, trying not to let it show that you notice. but you do. you notice everything. the way he keeps his distance. the way his gaze skips over you in group conversation. the way he leaves rehearsal without waiting, mumbling something about being late for a meeting you’re not even sure exists.
you tell yourself it’s fine. you’re friends. it’s just a weird day. maybe he’s tired. maybe something’s going on. maybe he did have a meeting. maybe it’s nothing.
but the thing is — it doesn’t feel like nothing. and it stings. because just last week you were creating new inside jokes, sharing lunch, singing duets, watching movies, laughing so hard your stomach hurt. and just two nights ago, you fell asleep on his shoulder and he let you and for one quiet, perfect evening, it felt like maybe, maybe, you were finding your way back to something real. and now? now he won’t even look at you.
later, you replay the night in your mind, trying to pinpoint what went wrong. the way he sang with a fake swedish accent, making you laugh until your ribs hurt. the way you caught him watching you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. like you were something precious. something fragile. nothing about that night felt off. but now he’s acting like you’re glass that cracked when he wasn’t looking, and he doesn’t know how to pick up the pieces without bleeding.
you want to call him out. ask what the hell you did. demand to know why he’s shutting you out when you were finally figuring out how to be in the same room without burning. but you don’t. you don’t say a word. because maybe you were just being dramatic. or maybe because part of you is scared of the answer.
and part of you, the part that still aches for him even now, kind of wishes you could just go back to hating each other. at least then, he looked at you like he meant it.
it’s been a few days since and things have gotten worse. you can’t put your finger on it exactly. nothing obvious. no big blow up. no fight. just the absence of something that was almost there.
he shows up to every rehearsal, still jokes with the cast, still reads his lines. but with you? he’s quieter. not cold, not cruel. just careful. like he’s watching every word, every glance, weighing them all in his head before he lets them go. like he’s trying to keep something from slipping out. something that used to dance at the edge of his smirks and linger in the way he looked at you, that soft, half-daring thing that felt almost too real.
you hate it. so you do something about it. you text him on a thursday evening in a moment of impulsive hope or maybe desperation.
princess: you doing anything tomorrow night? a few of us are going to the A.M. 127 bar, you should come.
you watch the message go through, then you toss your phone aside like it didn’t cost you anything to send. it takes him an hour to respond.
hyuck: ah wish i could but i’m busy. have to finish a write-up for theater theory and help mark with something
you stare at it, a little too long. looking for cracks in the excuse. for anything that might explain why it sounds like a gentle rejection and not just a scheduling conflict. and when you finally type out a reply, something nonchalant, unaffected, you send it before you can overthink.
princess: all good. good luck :)
you toss your phone again, harder this time, like the weight in your chest might go with it. you won’t be bitter. you can’t be bitter. he doesn’t owe you anything. he doesn’t have to show up just because you asked. you’re friends now. just friends. friends have boundaries. friends don’t need each other to say yes.
but the next night while waiting for your drink with yujin at the loud, dimly lit bar, you make the mistake of scrolling through your phone. the story flashes before you even realize what you’re watching. a living room, lights flickering, people playing a game of beer pong.
and there, clear as day – haechan. leaning against the arm of the couch. grinning. and next to him? ryujin. tucked comfortably into his side like she’s always belonged there. laughing at something he says, head tipped toward him, her hand casually resting on his thigh like she doesn’t even have to think about it.
the clip is only ten seconds long. but it affects you more than it should. you click it again. watch it one more time. and another. and another — his head leans toward hers. he’s smiling. he looks easy with her. like nothing’s complicated. like nothing happened. like he didn’t freeze up around you this week. like he didn’t pull away just when things started to feel… possible.
you swallow around the twist in your chest, reaching out for your drink. you laugh too, like you’re fine, like you didn’t just get sucker punched by a few pixels on a screen. but inside, you feel like an absolute joke — a stupid, drunk punchline to a story you thought had changed.
you take a couple more shots before you were staring at your phone again. the last text between you still lit up on the screen.
“all good. good luck :)”
you hate the way it reads. detached. not real. not at all how you feel. and before you can stop yourself, before you can listen to your own logic, you’re tapping his name in your contacts and pressing call — it rings once. twice. you don't think he’ll answer. but by the third ring, his voice hits your ear, “hello?,” low, familiar, a little too steady. he’s not drunk.
you try to swallow around the words clogging your throat, “hey,” you say and you wince at how thin it comes out, “it’s me.”
a beat of silence. “yeah. i know,” he sounds softer, cautious now.
you almost laugh, “sorry,” you mutter, “i shouldn’t have called. just…ignore this, okay? just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“wait,” he says, sharp enough to stop you from ending the call, “are you okay?”
there he goes again. pretending he cares. you want to lie. say yeah, of course i’m great. but you’re tired. a little drunk. a little heartbroken. you laugh. it sounds bitter, “what do you think?”
another pause. you can hear the voices in the background. the loud music. ryujin’s laugh. the exact same sound from the video. and it scrapes at your ribs.
“you said you were busy,” you say and this time you don’t try to hide the shake in your voice, “you said you had to help mark with something.”
“i did,” he replies, and god, he sounds so calm it makes your chest burn, “plans changed.”
“right,” you whisper, “funny how that happens.”
he’s quiet again and maybe that should be your cue to hang up. to end this before it gets pathetic. but you can’t. not when it feels like he’s been slipping further and further away all week.
“i just didn’t expect to see you with her,” you admit, a little too bare, too honest, too messy, “that’s all.”
he exhales slowly. you can hear voices in the background, someone calling his name. he murmurs something away from the phone, you can’t make it out. when he speaks again, he’s quieter, “it’s not what you think.”
you smile without warmth, “okay,” you say because what else can you say? you were in no position to tell him who he can and can’t hang out with. you were in no position to even get jealous. he doesn’t explain further. he doesn’t need to. you were just his friend.
“you’ve been weird all week,” you say suddenly, “and i’ve been trying not to take it personally, but–,” you cut yourself off.
“but what?,” he asks. you swallow hard, “i don’t know. i guess i thought we were friends again.”
“we are,” he says quickly. too quickly.
“then why are you pushing me away?,” you ask, voice soft and quiet.
another breath from him, a pause that stretches, “i’m not.”
“you are. you stopped looking at me. you stopped cracking jokes,” you blink hard, throat thick, “did i do something wrong? is this some kind of elaborate plan to hurt me the way i hurt you?”
“no.” he says quickly, “it’s not like that.” then the line goes silent. the music behind him fades.
“i’m just,” he finally says, the words slow and clipped, “trying to keep things simple right now.”
you nod even though he can’t see you. even though it didn’t make sense. even though nothing about you and him has ever been simple.
“okay,” you say again, “i’ll let you get back to your party.”
“princess–,” he starts.
but you’re already pulling the phone away, muttering out a hollow “bye,” and ending the call before he can stop you.
you hang up, phone trembling in your hand, heart heavier than before. you didn’t get answers. didn’t get clarity. didn’t get the version of him who sang ABBA at the top of his lungs and leaned into you like you were home. you just got silence. distance. a half-hearted promise that meant nothing.
you don’t remember how many drinks it takes to get you there – that hazy, floating kind of drunk. the kind that makes everything feel like it’s underwater and glowing. you’re not sad, not exactly. just…empty. tired in a way that no one can see.
yujin left a while ago, with a boy she’s been making out with the whole night. she kissed your cheek goodbye, making you promise to uber home. you said of course and waved her off with a smile too big for your face. then you stayed and ordered another drink. and another. let the night blur until it felt like you didn’t exist anymore.
the bartender starts to notice around 2:00 a.m. – you’re sitting slouched over the counter. your lips are slightly smeared and your mascara smudged just enough to make you look fragile. breakable. like someone who doesn’t know where she is or why she’s still here. you don’t notice the bartender hovering until he gently taps the bar in front of you, “hey” he says, voice low, kind, “you alright?”
you glance up, slow and reluctant, eyes glassy, unfocused, trying to read his blurry nametag: johnny. you try to smile at him but your mouth doesn’t quite cooperate, “mm fine, johnny,” you mumble, slurring your words.
he gives you a long look, his voice is still gentle but it sharpens a little at the edges, “that’s not true.”
you shake your head, try to sit up straighter, but the motion tilts the room again. you let out a soft, pathetic-sounding laugh, “okay, maybe not, but i’ll be fine.”
johnny sighs, the kind of sigh that says he’s seen this before. too many times. he pulls out a clean glass of water, slides it in front of you, “drink this.”
you do. drunk enough to drink anything a stranger would give. then he looks at you again, soft but steady, “i’m gonna call someone for you, okay? just to make sure you get home safe.”
you blink, the words registering slower than normal, “no–it’s—dont. please. i’m fine, i can–”
“you’re not fine,” he says gently but firm. you don’t argue again. you’re too tired.
“here,” you mumble, unlocking your phone with clumsy fingers, “pick whoever you want, i don’t care,” you say, giving in. he scrolls through your recent calls, lifts the phone to his ear.
“yo…hey…is this hyuck?,” his voice rings in your ear but you were too out of it to care, “yeah, hi i’m a bartender at A.M. 01:27, i’ve got a girl here, this is her phone, she’s pretty out of it. not in danger or anything just too drunk to leave alone. you were the last person she called, so…,” his voice drifts off in the background as your forehead sinks into your arms, head dropped to the counter, letting the drowsiness take over.
time passes. or maybe it doesn’t. you don’t really know.
then you hear your name. you lift your head slowly, the bar has started to spin again or maybe your brain has. same difference. you squint your eyes open and he is there, standing next to you, hoodie pulled over his hair, cheeks flushed from the cold.
“you okay?,” haechan asks, voice strained. careful.
“define ‘okay,” you mutter, pushing yourself up. you sway a little and his hand is instantly under your elbow, steadying you.
“got it,” he murmurs, sliding an arm around your waist, “let’s go.”
“wow,” you say under your breath, stumbling slightly as he helps you toward the exit, “my hero, coming to my rescue so fast, didn’t know i still mattered.”
“i got a call from a man who doesn’t even know you,” he mutters, jaw tight, “forgive me if i didn’t love that scenario.”
you glance up at him as he opens the passenger door, “jealous?” he doesn’t answer. doesn’t even look at you. just helps you in, buckles the seatbelt with a sigh and shuts the door.
the drive is quiet. not awkward. not exactly. but there’s a weight between you. thick and humming. some ghost made of the things you never said. haechan’s hands grip the wheel tight, knuckles white, eyes locked on the road. the glow from the dash throws soft light across his face, shadows catching in the curve of his jaw, the dip under his cheekbone. you watch him in sideways glances, arms crossed tight to your chest like you’re holding yourself together. the city fades. buildings blur into darkness. music plays low from the stereo, some playlist he forgot to turn off. you don’t say much. neither does he. but slowly, gradually, the fog in your brain starts to clear. your head feels less floaty. your pulse settles. your tongue feels normal in your mouth again. you blink. you breathe.
you’re starting to sober up. enough to feel the cracks again. enough for the ache to come back clearer than before — and when the gps chimes that you’re ten minutes away from your dorm, something inside you finally breaks.
“i hate you.” you whisper, eyes still on the road ahead.
his brow twitches, and he casts you a quick, startled glance, “what?”
you turn your head now, shoulders squaring toward him, the last drops of alcohol giving you courage, or maybe just stripping your fear down to its bare, shaking bones.
“i said, i hate you.”
maybe you say it because it’s real. maybe you wanted to get a reaction out of him. something. anything.
“okay,” he says, soft and resigned. like he’s letting you go without even trying to hold on. like he knew this was coming, “you’re drunk.
“i’m not that drunk,” you snap.
he continues focusing on the road. jaw tight.
“i hate your stupid face,” you go on, voice low but steady, “i hate your stupid little moles,” you take a breath, “i hate when you laugh without me.”
a pause. he wonders if you could hear the way his heart is thudding in his chest.
“i hate how you asked me to be friends again just to ignore me. i hate the way you act like nothing has happened between us.”
you pause. your chest tight. your throat is burning.
“i hate the way you look at me like you want to say something, but you won’t. i hate the way you leave me guessing, doubting, wondering if any of this is real.”
he doesn’t say a word. just silence so loud it echoes. you stare at him, heart pounding. you don’t cry. you just tell the truth, finally.
“i hate the way you make me feel,” you whisper, “i hate the way it’s so easy for me to fall for you.”
the words hang in the air, awful and honest. you feel them leave your mouth and you can’t take it back. he doesn’t pull over right away. but his jaw locks. his throat bobs with a swallow. and then he takes the next left, turns into a side street, dark and quiet, far from the dorms. no one’s around. just the sound of your breath and his. he parks the car and the silence rushes in. it’s deafening. the kind that drowns out everything else. it’s thick with all the things you’ve never said, with every unfinished sentence and swallowed apology.
then he turns toward you, eyes wide and raw, like he’s been trying to hold something in for so long it’s starting to hurt. like your words have cracked something open in him that he can’t put back.
“don’t.” he says, barely a whisper. “don’t say that. not when you don’t mean it.”
but you don’t look away, “i do mean it.”
and for a second, neither of you speak. neither of you move. it’s all there between you. the longing, the ache, the silence that always meant more — and you’ve filled it up. you’ve cracked the quiet open and poured the truth inside it.
now there’s nothing left to hide behind. you see it. the wreckage in him. the war. the part of him that wants to reach for you. and the part of him terrified that if he does, you’ll disappear.
he exhales, slowly and shaky, like he’s trying to steady himself on the edge of something steep, “i didn’t think you felt it,” he murmurs, voice rough like it’s been scraped raw from the inside, “i kept telling myself you wouldn’t. that you couldn’t.”
you stay quiet, letting him unravel. he laughs then, a broken little sound, hollow and helpless, “i told myself if i just kept my distance, if i just waited long enough… whatever i was feeling would die out. that i’d get over it. that i won’t ruin our friendship again.”
he doesn’t look at you when he says it. he looks straight ahead, like the truth will hurt less if he doesn’t have to see your face when he says it out loud.
“but it didn’t,” he whispered, “it just got worse.”
the confession spills out now, uncontained. he can’t stop it, and he doesn’t try to anymore.
“you were everywhere. in my phone, in my stupid dreams, in every fucking song. and i hated that i couldn’t shake you,” he turns to look at you then, finally. his eyes are glassy, dark and tired. no walls left.
“i tried to be your friend,” he says desperately, “i tried so fucking hard. but every time you smiled at me, it felt like i was falling, every time you laughed, i wanted more and every time i felt you next to me, it’s like i couldn’t control myself.”
your breath hitches, but he doesn’t stop.
“i don’t want to be your friend.”
he looks at you. eyes quickly darting down your lips.
“im in love with you.” he lets the words settle in the air and then he adds, “and i want you in a way that friends shouldn’t. i always have.”
the words fall between you like a match dropped on gasoline. hot and sudden and irreversible.
“i’m tired of pretending this doesn’t wreck me,” he adds, voice low, “that you don’t wreck me.”
you don’t move. you just look at him. and in his eyes, you see it all. the quiet desperation, the resentment at himself for still loving you, the hope he keeps trying to kill. the truth sits heavy in your chest, rising fast, threatening to drown you. but you don't back away from it now. you don’t want to. because you know that you wreck him the same way he wrecks you.
you don’t remember moving. just the heat in your chest, the ache behind your ribs, the sound of your own pulse pounding in your ears. one second, you’re sitting there, breath shallow, heart torn wide open. the next, your hand is on his jaw, guiding his face toward yours and his mouth is crashing into yours. the rawness in the way he kissed you like he was trying to erase every second of space that has ever existed between you.
it’s not soft. it’s not tentative. it’s months of denial, weeks of tension and years of everything left unsaid, finally snapping all at once. and he kisses you like he’s drowning in it. his hands tangle in your hair, bringing you impossibly closer, “fuck, you’re a dream,” he manages to say in between kisses.
you kiss him harder to prove that you weren’t. that you were here and real and his for the taking. his hands are on your thighs, pushing your dress up roughly, bunching the fabric around your waist like he can’t get it out of the way fast enough. you scramble into his lap, straddling him in the driver's seat, your knees bracketing his hips, your breath already coming in fast.
he groans against your mouth, hot and frantic and trembling slightly. you break the kiss to breathe, but it’s useless, he leans in again, pressing his forehead to yours, his breath ragged.
“tell me to stop,” he murmurs, voice wrecked, “just once. say it, and i will.”
your soaked panties brush against the bulge in his jeans and he groans, deep and guttural. you shake your head, lips brushing his “don't tell me you’re gonna go soft on me just because we’re in love now.”
he pulls back slightly, stunned, like he can’t believe what he just heard, “we?”
you give him a soft, unguarded smile, “yes, hyuck. i’m in love with you too.”
that’s all it takes. the look in his eyes changes — burning hotter. darker. his mouth is on your throat, kissing a trail down to your collarbone, hands everywhere, under your dress, against your skin, gripping your waist like he’s scared you’ll vanish. the space is cramped, bodies tangled, breath fogging up the windows, but you don’t care about anything except the way his hands feel on your bare skin, the way he groans when your fingers thread into his hair and pull just a little, the way his hips arch up into yours like he’s come undone.
“you think love means soft?” he rasps, voice shredded, “you think i don’t still want to fuck you like i’ve been starving?”
his hands slide up under your dress, dragging your panties down to your thighs. he leans you back, your spine meeting the steering wheel. it’s a little awkward, a little painful, but it vanishes the moment his fingers slip between your folds.
“god, look at you,” he pants against your mouth, dragging two fingers through your folds. “you’re fucking soaked for me, princess”
you moan when he presses in, one finger at first, rough and fast, no buildup, the feel of his cool rings against your cunt making you jerk in his lap, head thrown back against the roof, thighs already quaking.
“not soft,” he growls into your skin, “not even close.”
“shut up and—fuck—fuck me already,” you moan, hips chasing the rhythm of his finger.
“no,” he snaps, a smirk on his lips, “not until i make you come on my fingers,” he groans, and then he starts really working you open. inserting another digit, angling it just right, fucking into you like he knows exactly where to go, exactly how to ruin you. his palm grinds against your clit in tight, mean circles, and it’s so much, so fast, your knees buckle on either side of him, moans of his name filling the night air, and he has to hold you down with one arm wrapped around your waist.
“you can take it, right?” he hisses, fucking you faster, “don’t tell me you’re gonna break on me now.”
“i won’t,” you whine, “i won’t, hyuck, d-don’t stop,” you beg. his cock twitching in his pants at the mere sound of his name on your lips — all needy and desperate and his. he curls his fingers harder, presses deeper, and the filthy sounds of your wetness fill the car like music to his ears. your dress is hitched around your hips, tits threatening to spill out of the neckline, and you’re so far gone you’re grinding down on his hand like you need it to survive.
“you look so fucking pretty like this,” he growls, thumb swiping across your clit like he’s trying to rip the orgasm out of you, “fucking yourself on my hand, begging for it.”
you gasp, legs trembling, feeling yourself start to come apart. and he’s obsessed with how you clench around him, how your moans go sharp and high and desperate.
“that’s it princess,” he pants, watching you with hooded eyes as you get lost in the pleasure, “let go for me.” you do. you come hard, panting, shaking in his lap as his fingers keep coaxing you through it, soaking his palm as you cry out against his shoulder, nails digging into his biceps.
he doesn’t stop right away. only after your legs go limp, after you push his hand away, after you twitch around him too much to handle another second. then, only then does he pulls his fingers out, slick and glistening, and brings them to his mouth, “tastes like fucking heaven,” he groans, licking them clean like it’s nothing.
“now ride me and take what’s yours, princess,” he grunts in your ear. you’re still panting, legs shaking, but your hands move on instinct, unzipping his jeans, pulling him out. he grabs his wallet, pulling out a small foil wrapper, ripping it open with his teeth and rolling it on with practiced urgency.
the second he’s ready, he drags the blunt head of his cock through your folds, slowly. sending goosebumps throughout your body. you can’t take another second of teasing. you grab the base of his cock, making him grunt in response. then you align him in your entrance and finally sink down, both of you breaking at the feeling.
“ahh, fuck,” he hisses, forehead thudding back against the seat. his hands grip your thighs so tight it borders on bruising, “you’re so fucking tight.”
you don’t give him time to catch his breath. you rise up and drop down again, harder this time. again. and again. the rhythm fast, desperate, almost punishing. the windows fog instantly. your dress is hitched up to your hips, sweat slick on your skin, your shared moans echoing through the small space as you bounce in his lap, riding him hard and reckless, the console digging into your spine with every movement.
“god, you feel so fucking good,” you gasp, fingers tangled in his hair. he yanks your neckline lower, finally letting your tits bounce out of your dress and his mouth is on them in an instant licking, biting, sucking like he wants to mark you up just so everyone knows you’re his.
“i never fucking stopped wanting you,” he growls against your sensitive nipple, “couldn’t sleep. couldn’t think. and now, fuck, you’re mine. you hear me?”
you grind harder, drunk on it now, his voice, the feel of him buried deep inside you, stretching you open, ruining you in the best way, “yes,” you moan, head tipped back, “yours hyuck, a-all yours.”
the car rocks. the wheel presses against your back. your thighs burn, vision blurring. his hands slide to your ass, fingers digging in to your thighs as he holds you up before fucking up into you with a speed that steals all the air from your lungs, each thrust ruining you as your legs shake in his grip and you practically scream.
“come for me,” he pants heavily, sweat dripping down his temple, “come on my cock, princess, come and let me feel it.”
you can’t do anything else but respond to him, tightening around him, crying out as your second orgasm hits you like a freight train. he follows right after, hips jerking, his hold on you loosens and you sink completely into his cock, a whiny moan escaping his lips as he empties into the condom, eyes squeezed shut, completely undone.
everything goes still. your breathing. his hands. the spinning inside your chest. you collapse against him, dress still bunched at your waist, tits on his chest, your forehead pressed to his neck, both of you wrecked and panting and clinging to each other.
haechan strokes your spine absently, soft and gentle, “you okay?” he murmurs, voice raw and hoarse, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder. you nod into him. neither of you moves. then he says it, soft and tentative, “come home with me tonight,” he whispers, not ready for the night to end.
his room smells like his cologne and laundry detergent and he’s kissing you again, slower this time, more like he’s savoring it. like he has all night. because he does. he lays you down on his bed, undresses you piece by piece, there’s none of that urgent need from earlier. just worship. mouth littering kisses all over your skin. hands skating over your hips like he still can’t believe he’s allowed to touch you like this.
you feel him all over again like it’s the first time. body moving together like it’s a dance you’ve always known. you let yourself fall under him. let yourself whimper when his hand slips between your thighs, let yourself pull him in close and kiss him breathless until the two of you reach that addicting high that you can’t seem to get enough of.
and later, when he’s spooning you under the sheets, arms tight around your waist and his mouth pressed to your shoulder, he mumbles, “you know i’m crazy about you, right?”
you smile, eyes fluttering shut, “yeah, i know.”
when morning comes — you wake up alone. the warmth on the other side of the bed is gone, the sheets cooling. for a second, the room feels too quiet. your heart stutters, mind already racing with the outcome that he left.
you sit up, breath caught in your throat, but before you could wallow in the pity, the door creaks open, and there he is — tray in hand, hair still messy, sweatpants barely hanging on, wearing the exact kind of cocky grin that would usually drive you insane, except you’re too relieved to feel anything but full.
“breakfast for my one and only princess,” he says, voice obnoxiously proud. you blink at him, and it must be written all over your face, because his grin falters a little.
“hey,” he says, voice softening, as he places the tray carefully on the foot of the bed, taking a seat next to you, “you okay?”
you pull the covers up around you, shrug a little, “i just didn’t like waking up without you,” you admit, soft and quiet, almost afraid to be this honest, “i thought you left.”
a flicker of guilt passes behind his eyes, a tiny “oh,” slipping from his lips. the moment is soft, vulnerable, for two people who always dance around the other. you laugh a little under your breath, trying to shake it off, “stupid, i know, i mean, it’s you. you made it pretty clear you’re into me.”
“princess,” he says gently, arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you into his side, “it’s not stupid, i should’ve left a note or something.”
“what? ‘gone to make eggs, don’t spiral’?,” you say, realizing how dumb it sounded.
“exactly,” he deadpans, and you both laugh.
he brushes a strand of your hair away, more careful now, “we should probably work on being better at communicating, huh?”
“yeah,” you nod, forehead bumping his, “would’ve saved us, like… years of misery.”
he groans, dramatic this time, “don’t remind me, i was so annoying.”
“you’re still annoying,” you say sweetly, and he bites your shoulder in retaliation, making you squeal.
but when the laughter fades, his voice stays low, that quiet sincerity returning “i’m not gonna disappear, okay?”
you nod, “okay.”
“and i love you,” he says, gentler this time, no hesitation. just pure, stupid, real love.
your smile softens, “i love you too,” you say, leaning over to kiss him, not caring about morning breath or bedhead or the toast that’s probably getting cold.
he pulls away, breathless, a grin evident on his face, “the breakfast is gonna have to wait now,” he whispers in your ear.
you raise an eyebrow, “why?”
he leans in, voice low and warm in your ear, “because i’m hard again,” and you burst out laughing, “you’re insane.”
“insanely into my girlfriend,” he smirks, already kissing along your jaw. and you let him. because you’re his and he’s yours and it’s finally, finally, simple.
ཐིཋྀ tech week
it’s disgusting. absolutely, positively disgusting. at least, that’s the general consensus among the rest of the cast. just last month, people couldn’t stand being around the two of you because of how often you fought. every rehearsal a battleground, every interaction laced with venom.
but now? you’ve entered your full blown, pda-plagued, heart-eyes, can’t-stop-touching-each-other in-love era.
now, it’s kisses behind curtains, giggling into each other’s mouths between lighting cues, forehead touches during water breaks, fingers constantly linked even while you’re being given notes. and they don’t know what’s worse.
yeonjun throws a prop sword down dramatically, “i miss when you two hated each other, at least we had peace.”
“you’re just mad no one kisses you in between takes,” haechan fires back, smug, arm slung over your shoulder while you’re giggling into his hoodie.
someone on the crew threatens to hang a “no pda backstage,” sign after catching the two of you in a heated make out session.
but the real problem? the two of you are unstoppable.
even your arguments, and yes, you still argue, don’t last more than five minutes. you’ll bicker about stage directions or costume adjustments or whether haechan needs to dramatically fall to his knees when romeo sees juliet “dead,” and five minutes later he’ll be kissing you against a dressing room door whispering, “you’re hot when you're mad” against your lips.
and while the cast is absolutely suffering through your honeymoon phase – mr. doyoung is thriving. he walked into every rehearsal of this week with stars in his eyes, clapping wildly as you and haechan nail your death scene again. so in sync. so devastating. so tender you can feel every raw emotion behind the lines.
because now when haechan calls you “juliet,” it comes out breathless. now when you say, “my only love sprung from my only hate,” your voice cracks for real.
“do you SEE this chemistry?!,” mr. doyoung once cried, pointing dramatically at the stage, “this! this is art! this is why i casted you two!.” he might have even teared up once during the balcony scene. no one’s confirmed it but no one’s denying it either.
you and haechan just grin like idiots through it all. and when rehearsals wrap for the night, he always kisses you soft and slow and says, “can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow.”
you roll your eyes, pretend it’s annoying, but you never pull away.
ཐིཋྀ opening night
the energy backstage is electric, nerves buzzing like static in the air, costumes perfectly pressed, everyone running through the lines they already know by heart. the theater is full. the lights are hot. mr. doyoung is pacing with a clipboard and thinly veiled tears in his eyes, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.
and you’re doing your opening night ritual – little handwritten letters, folded neatly, handed to each castmate and crew member like clockwork. it’s your thing. everyone knows it. something encouraging, something kind, something just sentimental enough to make people emotional right before they have to go on stage.
you hand one to ningning, who clutches it to her chest and says dramatically, “i’m framing this.” soobin reads his and calls you a menace for making him tear up right before the show. yujin hugs you tightly, muttering something about how she’s so happy she gets to do this with her best friend too.
haechan watches from a distance as you make your rounds. he’s trying to play it cool, arms crossed, leaning against a wall in his stupidly perfect costume, lips pressed together in a barely there smirk. but underneath he’s a little tense. not that he’d ever admit it — it’s been years since he got one of your letters. not since high school. but now, with you officially his girlfriend and practically glowing as you move through the cast, he cant help but wonder, did you write him one?
he doesn’t ask. he doesn’t want to look needy. but his eyes follow you everywhere. and finally, you approach him, holding a single remaining envelope.
you stop in front of him, one brow raised, playing innocent, “oh, looks like i have one more.”
he stares at you, slow and suspicious, “you’re unbelievable.” you just grin, sliding the note into his hand. he opens it. the handwriting is unmistakably yours – familiar and clean, like a secret only he gets to keep:
what do we say when we say juliet? romeo!
every moment with you is like a scene in a movie. going through my head now is the climax. the words i practiced thousands of times as if they were scripted – you are the protagonist of my life. i want to keep you forever. no one can fill your place…you’re irreplaceable.
p.s. you look so hot as romeo, i, too would have left my family just to feel your lips.
p.p.s romeo take me somewhere we can be alone? ;)
for a second, he forgets how to breathe. love coils tightly in his chest, but so does something hotter, something heady and electric. his eyes flick to the last line, and then to you. you’re already walking away, over your shoulder, you toss him a wink. and he nearly chokes on air.
“why would you add that last part?” he hisses, catching up, voice low and wrecked. his eyes are blown wide, desperate, like you’ve lit a fuse inside him, “i just want to fuck you so bad you won’t be able to walk on stage.”
you burst out laughing, smacking his chest, “focus, romeo,” you press a kiss to his cheek and he groans like he’s being tortured, yet his mouth curves upwards into a smile anyway.
and somehow, he makes it through the show — when the lights go up and the crowd goes quiet, you step into juliet’s shoes like you were born to wear them. haechan’s romeo is every bit as dramatic and devastating and alive as he should be. the balcony scene is breathtaking. the fights are insane. the kiss before he dies draws a gasp from the crowd. by the time the final scene ends, with you sobbing over him, your voice cracking on your last words, there’s a pause…then thunderous applause, the crowd roared, standing ovation, flowers tossed on stage, some people are crying. mr. doyoung is definitely part of some people.
but as soon as the curtain closes. haechan is dragging you by the hand through the backstage chaos, ignoring the cheers, the calls, the cast photo attempts.
his grip is firm, focused and needy. you barely have time to ask where you’re going before he yanks open the door to the rehearsal room in the back and pulls you in. the door slams shut. it’s just the two of you. again. in the same, tiny, dusty room where everything shifted.
and his mouth is already on yours, “i can’t believe you wrote that in the letter,” he groans into your mouth, lifting you like it’s muscle memory, “you’re evil. you knew what you were doing.”
you gasp between kisses, clinging to his shoulder, “i don’t know what you mean,” you say innocently.
he rolls his eyes, “i’ve been hard since act i,” he kisses you like he’s starved, like the show was one long tease, every kiss on stage edging him on, every touch of juliet’s hand killing him and now he finally gets to be rewarded.
he spins and sets you down, not on the chair, not on the table — on his thigh. you blink and he grins, cocky and hungry and impossibly hot in the dim light, “you never rode this one,” he murmurs, low and sinful, hands sliding up your thighs under the skirts of juliet’s gown, “thought we’d fix that.”
the breath catches in your throat. his thigh is solid beneath you, strong and flexing, already pressed perfectly against where you need him the most. the second you move, just a little, the pressure makes your whole body jolt. and he feels it.
“fuck,” he hisses, watching you closely, an amused smirk on his lips, hands gripping your hip, “you are so into this.”
you glare at him, but your hips twitch forward again anyway. the friction is delicious. the fabric of your panties drag just right. his thigh tenses beneath you on purpose.
“you gonna come for me like this, princess?,” he whispers, lips brushing your jaw, “gonna mess up your pretty little costume riding my thigh like a desperate girl?,” you gasp, gripping his shoulders for balance, body rocking on instinct now, chasing that pressure, that heat, that release.
“f-feels so good hyuckie,” you moan as he watches, transfixed, pupils blown out, jaw tight, chest rising with every shaky breath you take.
“i could watch you forever,” he groans, “no one else ever gets to see you like this, you know that, right?”
you nod helplessly. completely lost in the pressure that was building in your stomach. and when you finally come, sudden and hot and hard, he groans at the way your whole body tenses, how your thighs shake, how your lips part in a silent moan right against his mouth, your eyes shut.
you collapse against him, but he’s not done, “think you can take me now?”, he asks, voice thick with lust, already untying the back of your costume. you look up at him, dazed, hair a mess, breath shallow and nod like there’s nothing else in the world.
he kisses you again, already sliding the skirt up your hips, making you his all over again.
𓏲 the end.
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18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
bonus: hyuck x princess coded -> video one, video two, video three, video four
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an: HAPPY DONGHYUCK DAY! 🧸🌻 this is one of my gifts for you all today (you’re still getting a birthday blurb, wink wink) i really wanted to finish this in time for haechan day and i can’t believe i actually did. but holy shit guys! we’re halfway done with this series i did not expect to get this far if im being completely honest. thank you all so much for all the love, you don’t know how happy and excited you all make me. i hope you loved haechan and princess too! i think this couple was the most fun to write and i also think they finally beat jaemin x angel as my favorite confession scene so far hehe (don’t tell jaemin!)… as always, thank you for reading! <3
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gutsby · 1 year ago
Text
Benign
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Pairing: Mob!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Marrying a former Soviet sleeper agent was your first mistake. Letting curiosity get the better of you and saying his trigger words before sex was your second.
Warnings: 18+. DUBCON - Bucky is partly brainwashed; R is reluctant at first. Reliving past trauma (i.e., grief, prior HYDRA captivity). Rough, unprotected p-in-v.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
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Marrying into the mob meant one of two things: turning a blind eye to your husband’s crimes or taking them up as your own. Most of the women who had gone before you chose the former, leading lives of willful ignorance while their spouses cut deals, shed blood, stole guns, and submitted only to the laws of secrecy and discretion.
You, unlike those wives, hadn’t had the luxury of choice.
Your life, unlike theirs, had been sold to a man you didn’t know, by a father you couldn’t stand, and now your dad was dead, and this man—your husband—was to blame.
The least Bucky could do was fuck you hard to say sorry.
But no, ever since the Winter Soldier had reared its ugly head that dreadful night in Madripoor two weeks prior, your husband hadn’t laid one finger on your body that was not soft, sweet, and sickeningly apologetic to you. He seemed almost scared to initiate sex, and when he did, couldn’t help but act like a touch might break you.
After all, one almost had. Those hands he’d hear you beg and plead to put on you now were the very same ones he’d used to kill dozens, if not hundreds, including blood of your own blood. To the world, Bucky’s reputation commanded fear. To his wife, now, he felt duly obliged to prove he was more—that you were safe with him, not from him. He’d carted you off to every GP, hematologist, nutritionist, and grief specialist lauded among Brooklyn’s elite to make that happen. Fast. Frankly, these days, the thought of fucking was the furthest thing from his mind.
Unbeknownst to Bucky, somewhere along the spectrum of grief, you’d already come to settle comfortably at the ‘Need-to-be-fucked-until-I-can-no-longer-think-or-feel’ phase, and every bone in your body was crying out for respite in the form of ruthless, mind-numbing sex. It didn’t make sense. You hardly knew what to do with it. You should have lashed out, shut down, cried rivers and lakes of tears for that integral part of family that had been lost, but for whatever reason, you had to go numb.
You wanted to do something really, really fucking dumb.
Remorseful as he was, Bucky and his explanations for who or what the Winter Soldier was had been sparse. He’d told you that he had once been held in captivity by HYDRA, had his brain re-wired some way to make him a merciless Soviet sleeper agent, and that the night in Madripoor was the first in ages he had been ‘activated.’ How did activation happen? Of course, he wouldn’t tell.
But Steve would.
Steve had told you everything you wanted to know about your soldat, describing in painstaking detail how he worked, trained, operated, and could be called to action. You were almost certain Rogers had said it all as a way to assure you that it wasn’t Bucky who’d killed your father—it was someone inside him. You were more than positive Steve had never intended for you to use his intel like this.
You hadn’t believed him. Couldn’t believe him. How the fuck could someone sever all ties to their conscious mind and just transform anew into a killer? You got to be hell-bent on knowing for certain whether it’d been Bucky or him, it, whatever the hell the Winter Solider was, and on knowing it now. If your husband was faking it all and simply using this persona to justify the killing, that would be it. Trust gone, marriage over. If he wasn’t, well…you hadn’t gotten that far into your own line of thinking.
“Tell me what you want, doll,” Bucky said, pulling you back to the present.
He shifted gently against you, cotton trousers raising the friction a little as he slotted between your legs. He was still dressed head-to-toe from his meeting that morning.
“I want you to fuck me. Make me cum. Please.”
You were bare, save for one small scrap of linen and lace that somehow passed as a nightie. Your gaze was soft.
Bucky didn’t want to say no, but he also felt too guilty to say yes. The way you were watching him now, eyes so helpless and pleading, body writhing for contact, he knew you didn’t want his touch so much as needed it. Desperately. Couldn’t bear to be burdened with grief so you brushed it aside, to the furthest recesses of your mind until all that was left was desire. Starvation, really.
He could satiate you for now, but that hunger might not ever leave. The corners of his lips twitched into a frown.
“Gentle?” he mumbled.
“Rough,” you countered.
“Baby—”
“I really don’t need another fucking lecture on death, Bucky. I know I’m not myself right now, but I can still make these decisions, okay? Don’t talk to me like I can’t.”
Anger flashed in your eyes for a second, then indignation, then nothing. Without much energy left, you pushed him away. Flopped back on the bed and, seeming to sink into yourself, heaved a low, feeble sigh.
“I know. Hey,” Bucky leaned over to press a touch to your tummy, and it made you want to hurl, “I’m sorry.”
You turned onto your side.
“You still don’t remember what happened?”
The question came suddenly, almost from somewhere outside your body, it seemed. For the hundredth time.
“No,” Bucky answered, for what felt like the thousandth.
“This Winter Soldier—”
“He isn’t me.”
“You didn’t know?”
“Couldn’t know. Wasn’t…programmed for it.”
Bucky was watching you now, eyes as contrite as they’d ever been while you rehashed this subject to the brink of tears. He never could stay composed when he saw you cry.
“Baby…” he started, arms reaching out for you.
Eyes still filling with tears, you shook your head and swatted him off. You sat up, and your brows pinched together in a look he couldn’t read. Contemplating.
At last, you made up your mind.
You would try something new—and really, really stupid:
“Zhelaniye.”
“What?”
Bucky’s own expression contorted with uncertainty.
“—semnadtsat, rzhaviy, rasvet—”
He heard that. He immediately wished he hadn’t.
“Wait—”
You were curious. You had no idea what you were doing.
“Baby, baby, stop—”
“—pech, devyat—”
You were speaking so fast, surely it wouldn’t work like that. Either way, he had to stop you. He seized your arms, giving a sharp, deliberate shake, pupils blown to the size of saucers in his eyes. There wasn’t much time.
“Don’t—”
“—adin—”
No time at all.
“—dothisdon’tfuckingdothishoneyplease.”
Losing himself already. Feeling it stir inside his mind.
“—dobroserdechniy—”
‘Kind-hearted.’ ‘Benign’. You truly had no clue what these words were liable to do, much less what they meant.
Having enunciated this last part, you swallowed. Took the tip of your tongue and rolled it left-to-right across the backs of your teeth, waiting for your speech to take effect like some magical performance before your eyes.
It hadn’t, it seemed. You blinked. He blinked. You sat in a protracted silence for what seemed like seventeen years, and presently, your stomach began to churn. Nothing happened—you’d been right about this fuckery all along.
Then you remembered one last word of the sequence.
Faintly, you said:
“Soldat.”
The man above you straightened. Sitting. Stiff. Still perched by your legs at a comfortable distance but regarding you now with a pointed stare. Expectancy made manifest in a simple, sharp glare from his eyes to yours.
“...Bucky?”
The look on his face grew even harder. For a time, he persisted in that strange and silent grimace, and just when you started to suspect he was faking this whole demeanor of deadened stoicism, you heard a voice. Clawing out of his throat but sounding nothing like him:
“Who the hell is Bucky?”
The words drove a fear to the greatest depths of your bones, and you hardly knew why. You stared back at the handsome, barren man still watching you with severity, and you couldn’t seem to find your husband anywhere.
“James?” You weren’t sure why you tried his name again. You just didn’t know what else to say.
The scowl seeped into his mouth, and he frowned.
“James,” he repeated, like the word was foreign to him.
You found yourself shuffling back on the bed just then—to what, you didn’t know. You just felt a gnawing need to put some space between you and this person, this glowering face, however you could. When he grabbed your ankle, you let out a startled sound, and when he followed you up on the bed, you did more than just whimper; you lifted your leg to knee him directly in the stomach. He caught it.
Then he stared again, expression bloodless and wan.
“You’re scaring me, Bucky.” Your voice trembled as you tried to free your leg from his fist—grip unusually strong.
The man paused another moment, if only to soak in your words and let his gaze trail over your face. Your exertions did not register. And, for the very first time, you felt as though you were something more like a plaything in your husband’s eyes—not a full-fledged human being but a system to be gamed. The feeling was so unsettling that you had to turn away.
Or try to, anyway.
Craning your neck just far enough to spy your phone on the nightstand, your first thought was Steve; he would know what to do. But before you could even think to twist and lift your body in that direction, you felt a hand yank you to the bed, flat on your back. You looked up at Bucky and found yourself caged between two arms. He lowered himself to his elbows, shifted his weight to one side, and seemed not to notice your movements at all when you tried to slide away. The man just splayed his hand across your stomach and pressed it firmly. Stay.
You weren’t one to shy away from a challenge—or keep hope alive against the odds. You put your hand over his.
“James—”
“Zhena.”
The abruptness of Bucky’s word stole the rest of yours. You cocked a brow and followed his gaze to your hand.
To the gaps between your fingers, then the touch that fanned across them to settle on one digit in particular.
Bucky thumbed at the diamond and smiled. He smiled.
“Zhena,” he repeated.
You blinked.
“I— you...gave me that, Bucky. You did.”
He hummed in acknowledgment.
Bucky stared at the ring for what could’ve been five seconds or several years, and then he did something unexpected. He shifted his touch to the bodice of your dress—again, if you could even call it that—and he began to tug at the satin bow situated between your breasts.
Of course, this nightie being designed for honeymoons and supremely easy access, it didn’t take much effort at all for the folds of your dress to come apart. Your breasts spilled out of the fabric without so much as a hint of protest, your torso was quick to become fully exposed, and suddenly, shortly, your hands were fumbling at your chest in an effort to regain some smidgen of modesty. Your husband just shook his head, following your hands.
“Moya zhena,” he said, a touch more emphasis and fervor to the first of the two words.
Now it was you who was shaking your head. Trying to pry his touch away as you slid up the bed. When he followed, you saw the icy expression had been supplanted by intrigue and, though you still felt ill at ease, you couldn’t deny you were curious to know what he was thinking. Who was thinking it? Soft, plush lips swiftly replaced his hands, and before you even knew what he was doing, Bucky, or someone, was latching onto your left breast. Using teeth to graze the hardened nub and send a ripple of thick, guilty pleasure coursing through you.
You whimpered. Bucky groaned.
Your fingers slotted through his hair with every intention of pushing him away, but when you tried, he just flicked his tongue and made another delicious sound against you.
You pushed with even more force, and he groaned again.
Not Bucky, not Bucky, not him, you have to—
“Stop!” you cried.
A set of soft, warm baby blues darted up to meet you.
Some flicker of recognition seemed to cross them, too.
“Honey?”
You almost lurched toward the sound. It was Bucky.
Suddenly, your hands were making fists in the collar of his crisp white button-up, and you were trying to yank him up. You murmured his name in disbelief, relief, and gathered him up in your arms to pull him in for a kiss.
The lips that met you were soft for a moment—just one.
Then the teeth reappeared. Harsh, jarring, biting. You jerked back at the sensation, and when you found his face again, it seemed your husband was lost to you all over. The eyes were attentive still—nowhere near as cold and aloof as they had been before—but they did not radiate the same warmth and admiration that Bucky’s always did. You almost couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He was gone, just like that, and there was nothing you could do to stop it from happening.
A broad palm cupped your cheek to bring you in for another kiss, and you weren’t sure if you should indulge. It didn’t seem you had much choice anyway, because the lips that were seeking yours were hungry. Starved. Searing into your mouth with a force you couldn’t refuse.
But something inside you wanted to find Bucky again.
Somewhere inside this stranger was lying dormant a trace of your husband; you’d seen it yourself, if only for a second. It made you curious. Where had he gone? What did he do when forced to retreat into this strange, preprogrammed being, and how could you get him back?
“Bucky,” you mumbled, more of a plea than a moan.
You were kissed harder than you had been in a long time. You didn’t have to think, or do, or breathe one puff of air that this man didn’t account for. His tongue wedged a gaping space in your wet, welcoming mouth for him to fill, and somehow, you didn’t feel the urge to protest. A familiarity in the way he kissed almost put you at ease, and when his body lifted slightly, yours lifted with it.
Before long, Bucky was sitting. Kneeling between your legs with an eye to your soft, shaking torso. You’d barely even come to notice just how hard you were breathing until you felt a palm on your stomach again. There was an oddly calming insinuation in that one simple touch.
And again, he smiled. Brighter than before.
“Nashe?” He sounded eager as he said it.
You peered up at him and raised an eyebrow in question. Perhaps you should’ve felt more exposed; after all, you were sitting half-naked with your husband’s assassin alter ego stroking your stomach and beaming over you, eyeing you expectantly, and you didn’t know what to say. Apart from the short set of words Steve had taught you, you were totally clueless to Russian, and you weren’t quite sure you were in a place to ask Bucky to translate.
When it seemed words might never come, the gleaming teeth above you were shrouded in a tighter, close-lipped smile, and Bucky nodded. Appearing to understand. Instead of forcing a response from you, he just let his hand migrate down your belly, fingers tracing the skin, then settle comfortably—momentarily—at the crest of your pubic bone. Then he pressed the heel of his palm into the place residing right below it, and without really meaning to, you moaned. A quiet maelstrom of pleasure circled low in your abdomen, threatening to draw noises from your throat you weren’t planning to make with every gentle gyration of Bucky’s lower hand.
You had to purse your lips to contain the sounds.
Again, he nodded.
“It’s okay,” he said, so quiet he almost couldn’t be heard.
He let the friction continue for a while like that: just palming you, watching you react to the simplest of motions against your swollen, aching clit and try not to writhe. At length, you squirmed a little bit. Bucky seemed to want to wait for something to happen, and when you bucked your hips, a look in his eye said that was enough.
He lowered himself between your legs. Shoulders bumping your thighs as he spread them apart, chest rising and falling in measured breaths, and lips smiling all the while. You sucked in a breath when his face came to rest just a few inches shy of your bare, aching warmth.
“Bucky?”
The man looked up at you and blinked.
“Yeah, honey?”
One thumb traced over the seam of your cunt, and your back nearly arched off the bed. There he was, again, gaze safe and secure to yours and hands moving in tandem as they always would. His tongue calmly followed suit. When you fisted his hair, he blinked once more and then directed his attention back to your wet, warm, velvety folds with a pointed look and a purpose.
The sound that escaped you next could hardly be classed as anything less than a scream, but the soft and unperturbed demeanor of the man between your legs showed he hadn’t noticed at all. He just sucked diligently—damn near dutifully—on your clit with a vigor you’d never felt, and when you yanked at his hair, he hummed.
It was like his lips had been trained for perfect suction; that was how well and thoroughly he descended upon your swollen little bud. An airtight kiss and a quick flick of his tongue, paired with his hot and heavy breaths fanning over your cunt, sent your senses into overdrive. Your toes curled inward, your throat let loose a gasp, and without fully realizing it, your walls were clamping down, pulsing and leaking out desire for more of this touch.
Then, without warning, Bucky brought a hand to the throbbing and slick cunt that was presently clenching around nothing, and he fed it two fingers. So forceful and deep he nearly buried his knuckles right along with them. Then he started scissoring those two fingers, sharply.
“Open, milaya,” he said. Again, it wasn’t entirely Bucky.
But you felt a faint remembrance there. You didn’t want him to stop. Maybe you were led astray by the gentle laps of his tongue or the prodding of his fingertips, or perhaps there was something stubbornly familiar about the way he was touching you now. You couldn’t tell.
All you knew was that both of your hands were holding tight to his head and begging him, wordlessly, for more.
Your moans rang all the way through the bedroom in your new, far-too-big penthouse apartment in Brooklyn, down the hall, reverberating through every inch of the space until all that could be heard were your sounds and his and the delectable little noises of your bodies working together. Bucky hadn’t even stirred to pleasure himself.
You wanted that part to change.
With your hip pinned to the mattress and Bucky’s tongue laving over your clit in ruthlessly quick movements, you probably would’ve liked to cum all over his mouth and fingers, but you wanted to see him pleased even more.
Just when he’d worked a third finger inside you and was driving you close to your peak, you pushed him away.
Bucky parted from your folds with a glistening chin and two furrowed eyebrows, clearly frustrated to have been torn from his mission before you reached completion, but you wouldn’t let that look linger for long. You used your leverage in his hair—however slight, comparatively, that grip might have been—to pull him up on the bed.
Bucky surprised you with just how swiftly he moved.
His steel-blue gaze was on yours in a second, equally penetrating and soft.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“Nothing—”
“My baby okay?”
He surprised you again; this time by how quick his demeanor was to shift the second he sensed something was wrong. Just like Bucky. It had to be him in there.
You nodded, still out of breath from the wonders he’d been working with his tongue. You squeezed his arm and tried to coax him toward you, to help him lower his body some, and when he seemed uncertain, you offered a smile. It’s okay to touch, you won’t break anything.
Bucky eyed you skeptically, but it was clear he was more wary of himself than of you. He glanced over your body, briefly to his, then slowly, apprehensively, sank down.
“Just fine,” you mumbled, hooking your legs around his back the second his chest was close enough to yours.
You felt an uptick in his heartbeat when your heels dug a little more firmly into the waistband of his pants. While your hands started working their way toward the front of that fabric, wedging clumsily between your bodies, his gaze flitted to yours, and his brows drew even tighter together. He didn’t try to stop you, but he certainly seemed confused as to why you wanted to include him so soon. Why you cared to show concern for him at all.
You noticed that then, and in just about every moment preceding, the man was taken aback by kindness.
Whether it was pulling him closer to you, tugging his pants down with a tender touch, running your fingers across the bulge in his boxers, or simply nodding your head and letting him know it was okay to touch you back, Bucky seemed unaccustomed to any care in this area.
When your fingers made it around his cock and started stroking him, gently, he just might’ve come apart.
His chest shuddered with the inhale of a short, strained breath, and his eyelids fluttered, as if meaning to close.
Bucky’s jaw clenched, and he started to shake his head.
“No, let me—”
“Let me,” you finished for him, wrist flicking back and forth quietly. You paused just to rub a quick touch between your folds, collect some arousal, then return to touching him when he met your eyes again and allowed you to continue. You skimmed his sensitive underside with your palm and let the warmth of him bleed into your fingertips as you worked him up to a comfortable pace.
Bucky rutted into your touch, probably harder than he meant to. Then he planted a hand beside your head and anchored his weight above you so that he was close enough to reach your lips—but he didn’t kiss you.
His expression hardened again, and he forcibly removed himself from the pulse of your fingers. He frowned.
“You want me to fuck you, no? Make you cum?”
He sounded irritated again.
Briefly, you recalled your words from earlier and nodded. It was true, you’d said it to him like that, and you’d meant it. You just couldn’t make sense of what he wanted now.
It seemed Bucky couldn’t wait to indulge you any longer. He fisted his cock in one hand, angled the head just outside of your cunt, and burst in with one thrust.
“Then let me,” he muttered, plunging down to the hilt.
The first go was rough, and the second was no kinder. Bucky’s face screwed up with indifference again, like he wanted to get something out of his brain and just do.
Like there was a task at hand that needed to be finished.
You couldn’t deny it felt fine at first. Fucking edifying after all those horrific thoughts had been eating away at your mind and rousing your own hunger for numbness. The drive of Bucky’s thick girth in and out, in and out repeatedly was no doubt capable of rendering you dumb. But being slammed into and taken so roughly was only good for you when you knew he was feeling good too.
This Bucky was back to being entirely flinty and lifeless—practically devoid of all emotion as he railed into you.
The back of your head was forced into the pillow with the weight of each thrust and Bucky’s thumb pushing into your chin—‘Better, milaya? Is this better for you?’—and frankly, you wanted to push him back and ask the same.
But you couldn’t. The pace he’d set was suffocating, and the stretch of his cock inside you was unusually tough.
Instead, you sank your nails into his arm and mumbled:
“Bucky.”
The man’s thrusts were both stabbing and rhythmic, sending a welt of pleasure blossoming up in your chest. You tried again:
“Bucky.”
He blinked.
And slowed.
“Bucky,” he mumbled back.
Seemingly mindless and mechanical, he snaked a hand behind your head to lift your face and tilt it toward the sight below: his cock splitting you open before him, parting your insides with an easy, welcome glide through the slick of your folds. You watched as your arousal enveloped him fully. Not a single inch of his rock-hard, throbbing shaft was spared; even his balls were soaked. They felt even heavier slapping your ass with each thrust.
“You remember?” you asked, hating how small you sounded.
The man’s nostrils flared, but he gave a curt nod. Expression taut and vigilant, as though anticipating something going wrong at any second. Still, he nodded.
“Years,” he answered.
“Years?”
Since he’d done this? Felt good? Become this way?
No, Bucky was activated in Madripoor just weeks ago. He didn’t look like he was ready to indulge in any ‘feel-good’ pleasure, and you weren’t sure when he’d last been with anyone else before you. Years could mean anything.
You chanced a few soft fingertips up to his cheeks, cupping either side of his clean-shaven face in an effort to anchor you both to one place. The pit of your stomach was reeling with warmth, and friction, and fullness. It took everything in you just to pull him in for a quick, grounding kiss before the feeling gave way to even more.
Bucky’s teeth nicked your bottom lip. He flinched back.
You ignored the sting and repeated his name, murmuring it carefully up to the seal of his mouth as if requesting entry with that word alone.
It seemed to work. Bucky kissed you back with a gentle, albeit guarded, sort of tenderness that made him soften. His thrusts weren’t as rough and punishing as they were before. The dull, throbbing ache between your legs transformed into something sweeter, and your body no longer had to brace itself against strokes that, to you, were nearly bruising and, to Bucky, were just necessary.
For once, your husband let out a soft grunt of pleasure.
“They never let us,” Bucky said as his teeth grit together, “It’s been years.”
“Since what?”
The face above you tempered more—this time with a trace of sadness behind it. He continued to rut into you, but now his thrusts were sloppy, and it seemed as though he were battling against his own pleasure with every motion. He lowered one hand between your legs and began to thumb at your clit, gaze torn from yours.
“Close now?” he muttered.
Ignoring the question you’d asked.
“Years since what?” you pressed anyway. The tiny ripples preceding bliss had already begun to stir inside you, maddeningly, with every flick of his thumb, but your curiosity to know the whole truth was stronger still.
Bucky’s hips were moving at a feverish pace now; his free hand made a fist in the sheets beside your head, and his chest heaved with a series of short, ragged breaths that were no doubt meant to mask his moans as well. Notwithstanding the burn you felt between your legs—he really was much rougher and stronger now, you saw—you cupped his cheek again to tilt his face toward yours.
What you saw made your stomach drop.
Your heart clenched like a fist within the confines of your ribcage, and there it was—that terrible ache you felt each time you saw something awful materialize before you.
Bucky’s eyes were wet with tears. He wouldn’t blink.
He tilted his head into your touch, as if for support, but really, the weight of it signaled to you that he just wanted to feel you. Be assured that you were there. His big, broad arms seemed suddenly unable to hold his weight, and then he sank into your frame with a grunt and another stuttered breath. Like he was ready to collapse.
“Don’t leave again,” he said quietly.
The pain in your chest elevated, in bloom.
“Bucky I didn’t— wasn’t—” you started to say.
The friction between your bodies was almost too much to bear. You couldn’t be sure if you were talking to your husband, soldat, or some strange, inconceivable mixture of the two, but you could tell that this one was desperate.
Pleading.
“I can’t lose you again.”
The head of his cock grazed your most sensitive spot inside, and a whine seeped out through your teeth. Bucky’s whole body was blanketing yours, torso flush with your front and hips working an erratic cadence as he got a glimpse of release himself. He groaned out in pleasure and begged you to stay. You promised that you would. Your legs were still wound around his sides, but both of your bodies were slick with a sheen of sweat; it was hard to hang on. Bucky’s hair was wild and pushed back from his face, but his eyes were clear when they finally met yours, and you heard him mumble again, ‘Please stay.’
You didn’t know what else to say but okay, baby, I will.
You swore you would stay, and in between oaths, your mouth was consumed by a barrage of kisses—Bucky got to feast with a full set of teeth again, primal as ever—and then your climax hit. Euphoria washed over you whole with a force you weren’t expecting to feel, and you couldn’t help but cry out and whine as waves of pleasure coursed straight from the innermost depths of your core.
Bucky’s hips collided with yours in two more stuttered thrusts, and when he bottomed out at the last, you felt a heavy spurt of warmth. A groan coiling out of his chest. Muscles growing lax and two sturdy arms coming to bracket your head as your husband’s whole body weight went folding into yours. You kissed some more, in between frenzied intakes of breaths and steadying moments where you were simply trying to ground your body and get your heart to slow down to a normal rate.
You held each other in silence for a while. Bucky’s head fell next to yours on the pillow when the last of his spend had been emptied, but otherwise, he didn’t stir. At some point, his hands slid behind your back, and the second he hugged you to him, you felt secure in that embrace.
You were probably as far as you’d ever been from understanding who the fuck your husband was, but all it seemed you were capable of feeling for now was pity.
Pity for the years he’d lost to captivity; pity for what was little more than mere existence under HYDRA’s thumb; pity for all the things you still didn’t know about his past.
You held Bucky tighter, and, flooded with this strange, grating emotion and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness, you wished you could protect him, too.
“James?” you mumbled into his hair.
Bucky didn’t respond.
You squeezed his shoulder. Still nothing.
Against your better judgment, you tried to shift yourself underneath his body. You figured you wouldn’t make it far at all, but at least he would be aware that you were trying to get up. Maybe even start to move with you.
He didn’t.
It took everything in you just to wedge an elbow back, struggle to prop yourself up against his weight, and when you were about to let out a huff of an exasperated laugh and tell him, Bucky, you’re crushing me, honey, could you please ease up a little, your request was answered before the words could even leave your mouth.
At the sound of two new muffled voices carrying up from the living room and what appeared to be noises from shuffling feet, Bucky rose straight from the bed, off you.
Your gaze trailed his to the door, and you reached for him.
“Baby, it’s just—”
Bucky was back on his feet. Yanking his boxers and pants up his legs and buckling his belt in no time at all.
The movers. It’s just the movers bringing in furniture—
You moved your hand closer to your husband in the hopes of stalling his movements for half a second, but then a set of ruthless blue eyes had you pinned, quick:
“Stay.”
Your outstretched arm was taken up in a much stronger, stiffer one, and you were suddenly pulled over to Bucky.
But you knew from the eyes it wasn’t him at all.
And you weren’t so much being tugged toward him as you were being hauled to the floor. Thrown on your knees beside the bed, next to Bucky. He was about to leave.
Without thinking, you reached for one of the legs of his trousers and sank your nails into the fabric to hold him in place, to tell him again that there was nothing to see out there but the people you knew, no threat outside at all. But Bucky was deaf to your pleas, it seemed. He shrugged you off easily and made a move for his gun, expression blank, stolid, calm, hardened. Decided.
You tried to rise to your feet but were stopped.
“STAY,” Bucky boomed again, this time an order that he didn’t even deign to complete with a look your way.
If he had—if he even possessed the ability to consider anything but the immediate task at hand—he would’ve seen his own hand knock you to the floor to keep you from standing. Might’ve caught a glimpse of the instant your head struck the edge of the nightstand before you hit the ground. Could’ve even made out the first traces of blood that came trickling out from above your temple. Would’ve seen you cower back, viscerally, out of fear.
But holding the side of your head and watching him leave, grim realization twisted at the pit of your stomach, and you knew the man wouldn’t have stopped if he had.
If your soldat’s objective was to protect you from any harm lurking outside that door, real or illusory, nothing you were capable of doing now could stop that. At expense to yourself, at expense to him, at expense to whatever lives stood between the Winter Soldier and that unwavering, hardwired goal, he still would not ever stop.
Thinking of new, innocent lives in the balance, now, you scrambled for your phone the next second to call Steve.
You tried him once. Twice. A third time crawling on your knees, then standing, then staggering over to the door and pulling the phone from your ear just to send a string of texts to your friend while the thing continued to ring.
SOS
Need help
Pick up please
Bucky’s stuck and he’s
About to hurt people here
A crash sounded outside. You hurried to the door. Your hand closed around the knob and tried to turn it. The handle turned freely, but something behind it was refusing to let you leave the room. You pressed again.
“Bucky!”
Your cry was useless in the face of the barricade outside.
You pushed your shoulder and, behind it, the whole force of your weight against it anyway, trying to get out.
The line went dead. You tried again.
Now with your phone to one ear and the bedroom door taking the brunt of your hits from the other, bleeding side of your body, you scarcely heard much of anything else. The ring started. Stopped. Began again when you pressed a shaky finger to Steve’s contact name, and continued in a cycle for some time while you tried to force whatever was on the other side of the door away.
The second a voice broke through the haze of your frantic, half-crazed state of consciousness, you cried:
“STEVE!”
“Mrs. Barnes?”
You were shocked to hear a woman on the other end. Your pulse was still racing, shoulder aching from the impact of each desperate push you’d been forcing against the door, and then you stopped. Another loud something sounded down the hallway, further away, but you were too startled and unnerved to take any note of it.
You started to ask, ‘Where’s Steve?’ when the voice continued:
“This is Mrs. Barnes?”
“Yes,” you answered woodenly.
You held the phone as close to your ear as you could, but still, the woman’s words were coming in and out in bursts. You must’ve mistakenly accepted the call when trying to reach Steve—you couldn’t think right now; could barely retract the phone far enough to see a strange number displayed on the screen. You swallowed.
“—from Lenox Hill Hospital at Northwell Health—”
The high-rise medical center on the Upper East Side you’d visited that week. Bucky had wanted you tested for nutritional deficiencies and anemia, of all fucking things.
“—if you had a moment or two to chat and maybe—”
No, you needed Steve, not this outpatient courtesy call.
You would’ve liked to hang up. Should’ve hung up. In fact, your fingers were practically itching to hit the button the whole time the nurse was speaking to you, but something in you just couldn’t be persuaded to do it. It took several more seconds before your senses began to creep back, and by then, when you were about to drop the call, you heard a phrase that stopped you on a dime.
“—but the doctor advises prenatal vitamins—”
“What?” you snapped, far more harshly than you meant.
The nurse paused a beat, whether from incredulity at how rude you’d just sounded or to consider something. When she resumed, she sounded a little more guarded.
“Yes…Dr. Watkins did reach out to you about your bloodwork from your last visit, didn’t she? I thought—”
“No,” you said, rushed and painfully brusque, again. You tried to rein in your tone some before continuing, “She didn’t—didn’t reach out about anything. What vitamins?”
Another pause.
“Prenatals.”
You hated that she gave you another second to chew on that word before taking a breath and pressing on.
“I’m terribly, terribly sorry to be the one to spring that on you, Mrs. Barnes—I thought you knew…um—” The nurse was sheepish now, almost embarrassed to be speaking, “—you’re about…three weeks along in your pregnancy.”
Three weeks along.
Advised prenatal vitamins.
For the child growing inside of you.
A rivulet of blood trickled into your left eye.
Your whole body was apt to convulse, but it didn’t.
You hung up.
Taglist: (please lmk if I missed anyone! I can only tag 50 at a time so will continue in a separate post) @vicmc624 @she-could-never @mcira @kentokaze @identity2212 @unaxv, @buchi91, @ordelixx @stinkerbelle007 @opibarnes @wilsons-striped-ties @desigirlxx @pono-pura-vida @geminiflanagansblog @buggy14 @sky-full-0f-fl0wers @buckysdoll1520 @armystay89 @minimarvelingmarvel @kunakizen @ghostiebby06 @blackhawkfanatic @dameron-grantspector @sushiseoks @deansapplepie @mrsjoequinn @gyokujyn @lunaroserites @first-edition @kaybaby2494, @jaggedsi @excusememrbarnes @daisychainsoflove @mostlymarvelgirl @diannana @shawnberry @yujyujj @urmomsalex @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @athenabarnes @christinabae @sluttylittlewaistenthusiast @wintrsoldrluvr @bethbunnyy @i-heart-smut @aagn360 @dahliawolfe @fantasyfootballchampion @lilyevanstan1325 @kandis-mom @thealyrs
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cod-bin · 12 days ago
Text
why me?
fuckboy!simon x nerdy!reader
part 1 part 2
a/n: yay it’s here!!
wc: 4k?? i think…
cw: slight mentions of sex, heavy swearing by simon, angst (only a little), angry!simon (not at reader), jealousy
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You’re coughing again.
It’s sharp, chest-deep. Comes from somewhere buried, somewhere tired. You smother it with a pillow like that’s going to do anything, like that’s going to make it invisible.
But it’s not. Not to him.
The door slams open so hard it rattles the hinges.
You jolt upright, breath caught, eyes wide.
And there he is.
Simon Riley—hood up, eyes black, jaw locked so hard it might crack.
You open your mouth to say something, anything, but he’s already stepping inside like a goddamn thunderstorm.
“You’re sick again,” he snaps.
You blink. “I’m fine—”
“Bullshit,” he growls. “You’ve been hacking your lungs out for days, and you just—what? Sit in here and hope it’ll stop on its own?”
He’s never looked more furious.
Not the bar fights. Not the game nights gone wrong. Nothing has touched the fury in his eyes right now, the kind that’s not about being mad at you—it’s about not being able to stop caring.
You push your blanket tighter around your shoulders. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
Simon’s face contorts. “A big deal—? You can barely breathe!”
He starts pacing. Three steps. Turn. Three more.
“You do this every fucking time,” he mutters. “You hole up in here, you act like it’s nothing, and you don’t tell anyone.”
“I didn’t think—”
“You never think,” he spits, eyes flicking to you. “You think being quiet makes you small enough no one’ll notice? Is that it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“No. But you act like it.” He stops pacing. Looks right at you. Voice drops, low and trembling with something more dangerous than rage.
“You act like no one sees you.”
Your mouth goes dry.
The air is heavy now. Close.
“I do,” he says, softer now, but it sounds worse like that. Like it costs him something.
“I see you hiding. I hear you coughing. I watch you disappear into yourself like it’s safer that way. Like you think someone’ll care less if you’re quiet enough.”
You can’t meet his eyes.
But he doesn’t stop.
“You think I haven’t noticed you pulling back? The way you move around this place like you’re an afterthought. Like you’re fucking disposable.”
“Simon—”
He cuts you off, voice rough.
“No. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to shrink and then pretend no one saw it.”
Your breath stutters. “Why do you even care?”
He laughs, but it’s bitter. Broken.
“Why do I care?” He shakes his head like you’ve just asked if the sky is blue. “Because it drives me insane. You walk around here like a ghost and I—”
He stops.
You’re trembling a little now. Not from fear. From the storm of it. From all of this finally spilling out.
He steps closer.
“You think I don’t notice you?” he breathes.
That voice—low, deadly quiet. Not loud. Just… inevitable.
His eyes are wild.
“You think I don’t see how you flinch when someone laughs too loud? Or how you stop breathing when I have someone over? Like if you hold your breath long enough, you’ll vanish.”
You open your mouth, heart thudding.
“I see it all,” he snarls. “I see every time you look at me like you hate me. Like you wish I’d stop. Like maybe, if I didn’t exist, it’d be easier for you to stop wanting me.”
That last word hangs heavy between you.
Wanting.
You don’t know who moves first, but he’s in front of you now. Staring. Breathing hard.
Then—
He grabs your arm.
You gasp.
Not because it hurts—it doesn’t. His grip is firm, yes, but grounding. Like if he doesn’t touch you, he’ll lose the thread of this entire thing.
He drags you up to stand. The blanket falls away. You’re standing there in an oversized hoodie and socks, blinking at him like you’ve never seen him before.
“I can’t fucking take it,” he mutters. “Watching you shrink. Watching you disappear in plain sight.”
“You’re the one who disappears,” you whisper.
His eyes flash.
“You think that’s on purpose?”
“I don’t know, Simon! I don’t know anything with you!”
He steps forward. You step back.
He matches you, one-to-one, until your knees hit the edge of the bed and you have nowhere to go.
“You think I like this?” he growls. “You think I like being an asshole to the one person who actually fucking sees me?”
“I don’t see you,” you say, but it’s a lie, and you both know it.
He leans in.
“Liar.”
The breath leaves your lungs.
Then, out of nowhere—he kisses you.
It’s violent. Not in the way that hurts, but in the way that grips. That shakes something loose in your chest. It’s all teeth and frustration and finally.
You grab the front of his hoodie and drag him closer.
He makes a sound deep in his throat. A groan. Something guttural. It sounds like surrender and defeat and want, all rolled into one.
You break apart only because you have to breathe.
He doesn’t step back.
His forehead presses to yours.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he mutters. “I never say the right thing. I always push too hard or run too fast.”
“You came in here,” you whisper.
“Because I couldn’t not.”
He closes his eyes, brow furrowed.
“I’ve been watching you,” he says. “I watch you every day. I memorize your silences. Your footsteps. The way your door clicks at night.”
Your throat tightens.
“I see you,” he says again, softer now. “Even when you try not to be seen.”
You lean your head against his chest. Let yourself breathe him in—smoke and cold air and home.
For a minute, he doesn’t say anything. Just holds you like he’s afraid you’ll slip through his fingers.
Then, finally—
“I’m gonna fuck this up,” he murmurs.
You smile against him. “Probably.”
His arms tighten.
“But I’m still here.”
You nod.
“You’re still here.”
And that, for now, is everything.
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The silence after the kiss is deafening.
Simon’s still so close your lips almost brush when you breathe. His chest rises and falls like he’s just run a mile. You don’t say anything, and neither does he. The air between you is heavy—too heavy. He hasn’t let go of your wrist.
He does now.
Pulls back like the heat of your skin just burned him.
His eyes dart away, jaw tight again, but not from anger this time. He looks shaken. Like he’s regretting something already, even though you kissed him back. Even though you’re still standing there, lips parted, chest heaving.
You shift, wrapping your arms around yourself like armor. Not because you want to push him away. But because if you don’t, you think you might fall apart.
“Simon…” you start.
But he turns.
He moves to leave. Like always.
Like he just did something reckless and now he has to go pretend he didn’t feel anything at all.
Except—
He stops.
Hand still on the doorknob. Back tense.
You wait, breath caught in your throat.
“Do you want me to stay?”
The question is so soft it almost doesn’t reach you. But it does. It lands in your chest like a dropped stone.
You blink. “What?”
He turns halfway, eyes low. That mask of his is gone. There’s nothing behind it but vulnerability, cracked and real. His voice comes quieter the second time.
“I’ll stay… if you want.”
Your room is still. The world outside might not exist.
You nod.
He doesn’t say anything else. Just steps back in and closes the door with more care than he’s ever shown it before. Doesn’t slam it. Doesn’t speak. Just locks it, slowly, and turns to face you again.
And then — without waiting for permission — he toes off his boots, crosses the room, and climbs into your bed.
You stand there frozen, watching the massive weight of him settle onto the mattress, hoodie rumpled, expression unreadable.
“C’mere,” he murmurs, barely audible.
You hesitate. “You don’t have to—”
“I know,” he says quickly. “I know I don’t.”
He shifts back against your pillows, long legs stretching out, gaze flicking up to yours.
“I just… don’t want to leave you like that. Not tonight.”
You move toward him slowly, like you’re dreaming.
When you slide under the blanket beside him, it’s awkward at first. He’s all muscle and warmth, not knowing where to put his hands. You curl into yourself out of habit — defensive — but then his arm reaches out, slow and tentative, and hooks around your waist.
It’s not graceful. Not practiced.
But it’s real.
You stiffen, just for a second.
Then exhale and melt into him.
His hand doesn’t wander. It stays right there — solid, steady, like a promise he doesn’t know how to voice.
The minutes pass without a word.
It’s the quietest it’s ever been between you, and somehow the loudest too.
You can feel his breath in your hair, warm and uneven. His heartbeat against your spine. The barest twitch of his fingers every time you shift.
“You okay?” he murmurs eventually.
“Are you?” you whisper back.
He huffs out a breath. You can’t see his face, but you can feel his smile — tired, wry, a little broken.
“I’m trying.”
You close your eyes.
You’re so tired. Sick, worn down, emotionally wrung out. But the warmth of him behind you… it’s something you’ve never let yourself need before. Never thought you could have.
“You don’t have to fix me,” you whisper.
“I’m not trying to.”
His voice is low. Honest. Frayed at the edges.
“I just wanna be here.”
You press your fingers into his forearm where it wraps around your stomach. Just to make sure he’s still real.
After a long while, he speaks again. This time it sounds like it’s been clawing its way out of him all night.
“I don’t… do this. I don’t stay. I don’t hold people. I don’t let them stay.”
Your throat tightens. “Then why me?”
He doesn’t answer right away.
But when he does, it’s the most open he’s ever been.
“Because you make me want to.”
You swallow hard. His words are simple, but they land like they’re sacred.
Another long pause. The kind that feels like it matters.
“You don’t think you’re worth much,” he adds. “But you are. I see you. All the fucking time. When you don’t think anyone’s looking.”
You shift a little, pressing closer. “I see you too.”
His arm tightens around you instinctively.
You let the silence settle again. This time, it feels softer. Warmer. Like maybe it could stay a while.
Eventually, your eyes start to slip closed.
And Simon doesn’t move.
He stays right there — in your bed, against your back, breathing slow, fingers twitching like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you.
And for once, the apartment isn’t so cold.
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Your sheets are still warm from him. That kiss still on your mouth, smudged like something sinful — and then, just like that, he pulled back, awkwardly sat up like he was leaving, and stared at you like he was furious with himself for it.
He’d started to say something — but it stuck in his throat, like every word was too risky to set free.
And then you were both just breathing.
You feel him move again, the mattress dipping as he shifts. You hadn’t realized he was staying. He’d sat there on the edge for what felt like forever, silent and tense — but now he’s twisting around, one hand bracing himself on the bed.
Then?
Simon Riley climbs in beside you.
Again.
Slowly. Like you might stop him. Like he’s scared you might not want him there.
You turn your head. He’s right next to you now, both of you under the same blanket. He smells like cold air and aftershave and something else, something quiet. His arm brushes yours — and he flinches.
You feel small beside him.
“I can leave,” he says after a beat. Rough, low. But there’s something in it. A crack. “If this is too much.”
You shake your head before you even know what you’re doing.
“No,” you say. Voice raspier than normal, because the fever’s still lingering and your throat hurts and you’ve barely spoken all day. “Stay.”
Simon doesn’t respond with words. He just shifts a little closer, moving slow. One arm curls behind your back, pulling you gently toward him, and you follow like it’s gravity, your head resting on his chest.
It’s… soft.
Dangerously so.
You feel his fingers press into the fabric of your shirt like he’s grounding himself there. Holding you like he’s scared you might drift away.
You don’t know what this is.
You don’t know why he’s doing this.
Which is what scares you the most.
You’re quiet for a long time. His fingers are stroking the curve of your arm now, light and absent, but still real enough to make you ache.
Then — stupidly, too softly — you whisper:
“You hook up with so many girls.”
You feel him stiffen. Just slightly.
You shouldn’t have said it. But the words are already there. Floating in the air between your mouths.
You push on, voice barely a breath.
“You could have anyone. I don’t… I don’t get why you’d pick me.”
Silence.
It stretches out so long it hurts.
You feel your stomach twist. Regret like a second fever under your skin. Simon doesn’t do this — he doesn’t stay. And here you are, ruining it.
But then — finally — he exhales. Not angry. Not dismissive.
Just quiet.
“I didn’t pick anyone.”
You blink.
“I didn’t want to,” he adds, softer now. “Didn’t think I could.”
He’s speaking like this is costing him something. Like every word is peeled out from somewhere he never shows.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing with you,” he admits. “It’s not like—fuck. I don’t do this.”
You press your face a little harder into his chest.
“I know.”
He swallows. You feel the movement against your cheek.
“But you…” His fingers curl gently into the back of your shirt. “You’re not like the others.”
You stiffen.
“I don’t mean it like that,” he says quickly. “I mean—you look at me like I’m not already a lost cause. You… talk to me like you think I can be better.”
You don’t say anything. But your hand shifts, brushes his arm — a silent response.
“I didn’t notice,” he continues, voice more hoarse now, “how fucking much I watched you. How much I needed to.”
You can’t move. Can’t speak.
“I’d bring someone home, and they’d be… whatever. Perfect. Loud. Beautiful. Easy.”
The words sting. But his voice is heavy with something else.
“But none of ‘em ever made me feel like this. Not like you. You’re in the room and it’s like—fuck, I don’t know. I’m twenty goddamn feet underwater.”
You don’t realize you’re crying until he notices first — you feel his arm curl tighter around you, thumb brushing the edge of your jaw.
“Hey,” he says, voice breaking a little. “I didn’t mean to—shit. I’m not good at this. I don’t know what you need me to say.”
You shake your head into him.
“I don’t need anything. I just…”
You sniff. A soft sound.
“I don’t get it. I’m sick all the time. I look like hell. I barely talk. I’m not fun. I’m not anything.”
Simon pulls back just enough to look at you. You can barely meet his eyes.
And then his hand cups your cheek, and his mouth is pressing gently into your forehead. A kiss so quiet you nearly miss it.
“Don’t say that,” he mutters. “Don’t ever fuckin’ say that again.”
You bite the inside of your cheek. Swallow thick.
“Why not?”
He looks down at you, something tortured in his face.
“Because you’re everything to me right now.”
The words hit you like a blow.
You blink, stunned. Your breath stutters.
Simon lets it sit there. Lets it echo.
Then he leans in again — not all at once this time. Slower. Gentler.
And kisses you.
It’s different than before.
This time, it’s not rough or angry. Not a clash of desperation. It’s quiet. Reverent.
Like you’re fragile.
Like you matter.
His lips trace yours like he’s memorizing the shape. One of his hands cups the side of your face — the other drifts down your arm, your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space between you at all.
You melt into it. Into him.
When he pulls back, he rests his forehead against yours again.
“I don’t know how to be soft,” he says. “But I want to try. With you.”
You nod — just a little — because you’re scared if you speak you’ll shatter.
You let him kiss you again. And again.
You let yourself believe, just for now, that this moment is real. That he means it.
That you’re the one he wants.
Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s complicated.
He’s here. In your bed. Holding you like he’s never going to let go.
And that’s enough. For now.
part 4
☆taglist☆
@little-mini-me-world @h0lydrag0ns @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @pixiellove @fruitymoonbeams-blog @jokerivory @arrowacer @4ri3n @yasmin-003 @charliehunnamsleftsock @strawberrymilk99 @queenoflaflames @xigua2kuai5yijin @arnnf @genea-myers @elixir-of-dreams @turtlegreentia @pinkembodiment @bbygirl9 @echo9821 @illyanam1011 @luciferstempest @lostintransist @dethspllz @letstryagaintomorrow @hypertail @cr0wbrz @enfppuff @elegantangelenthusiast @trashprincss @youngandweird @mafer383 @eremika104 @avgdestitute @poshestpigeon
a/n: taglists are stressful af omg 😭😭
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stonesunk · 5 months ago
Note
"Take a deep breath. Look at me."
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Caitlyn  was  so  tired  of  living  on  the  edge  ,  ever  since  Jinx  had  abducted  her  from  what  she  believed  to  be  the  safety  of  her  own  home  ,  she'd  hadn't  felt  an  ounce  of  safety  within  the  Kiramman  grounds.  Jinx  was  still  out  there  and  Vi  was  gone  -  one  of  her  larger  mistakes.  Sleep  deprived  and  overworked  ,  Caitlyn  was  living  in  a  constant  state  of  fight  or  flight  ,  it  was  just  unfortunate  that  her  brain  couldn't  tell  the  difference  between  being  held  at  gun  point  ,  and  a  change  of  lighting  flashing  past  the  window. 
It  was  then  when  the  panic  swallowed  her  ,  Caitlyn  stood  clasping  at  her  desk  until  her  knuckles  turned  white  -  frozen  on  the  spot  ,  her  uniform  suddenly  too  stiff  and  uncomfortable.  This  certainly  wasn't  the  first  time  she'd  felt  the  unwelcoming  tightening  of  her  chest  or  the  quickening  of  her  breath  sneak  up  on  her  out  of  no  where  ,  yet  she  was  still  unable  to  stop  it.  Unable  to  rationalise  that  she  was  safe  because  she  was  at  home  -  because  home  wasn't  safe.
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Indra  entering  the  office  with  her  coffee  caused  the  commanders  heart  to  stop  for  just  a  moment  -  before  resuming  to  an  irregular  pace,  her  head  being  so  far  back  to  when  Jinx  had  snuck  in  on  her  ,  for  a  moment  she  her  worst  fear  felt  like  it  was  replaying.  Caitlyn  didn't  want  to  be  this  shade  of  vulnerable  in  front  of  anybody  ,  but  this  also  wasn't  Indra's  first  time  seeing  Caitlyn  in  a  state  of  full  on  panic.  The  two  had  spent  far  too  much  time  together  over  the  years  ,  through  their  brightest  and  darkest  days.
Caitlyn  can't  focus  on  the  way  Indra  sweeps  across  the  room  ,  her  own  failed  attempts  at  stability  starting  to  weigh  down  on  her  ,  coffee  cups  placed  down  and  suddenly  the  familiar  presence  is  beside  her.  It  felt  like  she  had  no  air  left  in  her  ,  and  nothing  was  getting  through. 
"Take  a  deep  breath.  Look  at  me."
Trying  to  catch  that  breath  was  harder  than  it  should  have  been  ,  Caitlyn  knew  how  to  breathe  ,  knew  how  to  stay  calm  in  strenuous  situations.  She  was  trusted  with  a  gun  and  yet  ?  she  was  here  unable  to  breathe  or  think  straight  because  the  light  changed  and  she  felt  like  she  was  going  insane. 
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Eventually  -  Caitlyn  took  a  full  breath  and  was  even  able  to  hold  it  for  a  moment  ,  looking  to  Indra  like  a  lifeline  ,  breathing  with  her  ,  knowing  that  if  her  friend  hadn't  shown  up  to  be  the  grounding  voice  she  needed  to  hear  ,  Caitlyn  would  have  found  herself  spiralling  further  and  further  down  the  endless  rabbit  hole. 
The  drumming  in  her  ears  was  still  deafening  and  Caitlyn's  entire  body  felt  out  of  sync  ,  but  the  peak  of  it  all  was  ebbing  out  -  she  hoped. 
❝  w-why  this  ❞ she  huffed  out  ,  defeated  and  exhausted.  ❝  why  me  ❞.  Why  was  she  suddenly  left  all  this  responsibility  ,  Caitlyn  hadn't  been  ready  to  take  of  house  Kiramman  ,  she  was  barely  making  it  as  an  enforcer  and  how  she  was  acting  as  part  of  the  council  ,  leading  strikes  teams.  This  wasn't  her  -  wasn't  what  she  wanted  and  yet  it  was  who  she  had  to  be.  No  choice  in  the  matter. 
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kxsagi · 2 months ago
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hiii!!
could you write the blue lock boi eith the falling for you trend on tiktok, basically where the reader does trust falls of all a suddenly unexpectedly over a period of time
“𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲)”
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a/n: okay i didn���t do any research on this trend before writing this so i am just going based off of the description in the request 😭i also made this on a discord call help
+ added a little twist where they end up falling for you (catching feelings) when you keep doing this over and over again
ft. isagi yoichi, chigiri hyoma, itoshi rin, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, bachira meguru, karasu tabito, shidou ryusei, itoshi sae, kaiser michael, ness alexis
isagi yoichi
first time you do it, he SCREAMS. like full-on, “AAH?!” as you fall backwards into his arms. 
catches you though. always catches you. 
“you okay? are you hurt? why did you just –” 
it becomes a thing. once a week, randomly, you’ll fall and he’ll catch you like clockwork. 
starts getting nervous when a whole day passes without you doing it. 
at some point, realizes his heart beats faster every time, not from panic, but from you. 
finally breaks down and mumbles, “you know i’ve been falling, too… for you.” 
and then promptly wants to disappear for being so cheesy. 
chigiri hyoma
reflexes on point. he catches you effortlessly like a damn disney prince. 
but he’s annoyed. like… so annoyed. 
“can you stop doing that, what if i wasn’t ready?” 
still, you never hit the ground. 
catches you with one hand while texting, with an eye roll. 
until the fifth time or so, when he kinda just stares at you longer. 
“you really trust me that much?” 
you smile. “of course.” 
cue blushing. cue internal crisis. cue chigiri trying to act cool while absolutely melting. 
itoshi rin
you trust fall once. he lets you hit the floor. 
“don’t be an idiot.” 
… you keep doing it. 
he tries to pretend like he’s not aware. 
but his reaction time improves every time. 
and eventually, he just stands behind you at all times, quietly waiting. 
one day, you fall and land right in his arms and he just goes, “… you done now?” 
when you ask why he caught you this time, he mutters, “i didn’t want anyone else to.” 
nagi seishiro
the first time you fall on him, he’s too sleepy to react. 
“ow… what was that for?” 
next time, he’s ready. catches you but complains the whole time. 
“ugh… too much effort… can’t we just lie down already?” 
but then he starts enjoying it. 
catches you like a sloth on a tree, no energy, but all heart. 
one time you fall and he doesn’t even open his eyes. just lifts his arms. 
“took you long enough.” 
he’s falling too, but in slow motion. 
mikage reo
lives for it. like, yes. yes, fall into my arms. yes, trust me. 
makes it a competition. tries to surprise you with the reverse trust fall. 
“i gotchu baby, whoa wait no –” 
ends with both of you on the floor laughing. 
buys you one of those cute onesies just for the bit. 
but behind the playful act, he’s seriously touched. 
“you always trust me like this, huh?” 
says it like a joke, but the look in his eyes is anything but. 
he’s already head over heels. 
bachira meguru
you do it once, he does it twice. 
you fall backwards, he falls sideways, diagonally, upside-down. 
“we’re playing fall tag now!” 
he’s obsessed. makes it his mission to invent the dumbest ways to catch you. 
one time he somersaults into position. 
one time he piggybacks you as you fall. 
“meguru, this isn’t how it works.” 
“it is now.” 
calls it “falling for you: deluxe edition.” 
by the time you realize he’s serious, it’s too late. 
he’s already in love with you, and probably upside-down. 
karasu tabito
laughs so hard the first time you do it, he almost doesn’t catch you. 
“bro what are you doing? you wanna die?” 
starts predicting your falls with scary accuracy. 
“3… 2… 1, gotcha.” 
starts catching feelings somewhere between fall #4 and the day you didn’t fall at all. 
“hey… you didn’t try to fall today.” 
you tease him: “missed me that bad?” 
he doesn’t answer. just smirks and shrugs. 
he totally did. 
shidou ryusei
first time you fall, he screams louder than you. 
“YO WTF? damn that was hot. do it again.” 
starts looking forward to it like some weird game. 
“are we falling today or what, babe?” 
sometimes purposefully takes a step back just to see your face mid-fall– 
then dives to catch you at the last second. 
“your life’s in my hands. kinda sexy, huh?” 
one day he catches you a little too gently, arms around your waist for too long. 
“you’re falling for me, but jokes on you… i already hit the ground.” 
unfortunately, he means that in a romantic and deranged way. 
itoshi sae
you fall once. he doesn’t even flinch. 
“you’ll live.” 
except you don’t hit the ground. he catches you. grumbling. 
“why the hell would you do that?” 
you do it again. and again. and each time, he’s annoyed. 
but his arms are already there before you even start falling. 
one day you lean back without warning and he says, “stop doing that. i’m not always gonna catch you.” 
pause. 
“… except i always do.” 
looks away like nothing happened. 
but sir that was basically a proposal? 
kaiser michael
you trust fall on him once and he starts acting like you proposed. 
“i knew it. you’re obsessed with me.” 
is 100% ready to catch you anytime anywhere. 
you fall backwards and he twirls you like it’s a dance move. 
“falling for me already? understandable.” 
makes everything dramatic. roses. slow motion. violins (playing from his phone). 
starts leaning into you randomly too. 
“trust fall, but in reverse. now you catch me.” 
he flirts through every fall, but the way he holds you like you’re glass? 
yeah… he’s fallen. hard. 
ness alexis
panics. every time. 
“oh my gosh, are you okay? are you dizzy? were you about to faint?!” 
you: “ness, it’s a trend.” 
ness: “a… trend that gives me heart attacks???” 
catches you like a nervous golden retriever, limbs flailing, but always manages. 
eventually gets used to it… maybe. 
“okay okay, i’m ready this time–WAIT–don’t do it yet!! okay now!!” 
once it becomes routine, he starts smiling whenever you fall. 
softest “i got you” under his breath every time. 
until one day he whispers, “… i think i’ve been falling too.” 
and then immediately short circuits and hides behind a couch. 
© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢
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flawseer · 2 months ago
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Hi! I’m a big fan of your art and work over all
I’ve been wondering, since I’ve seen you give your thoughts on some other dragons, what are your thoughts on Clay?
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On Clay...
Clay. I’ve talked about him for a bit in a previous post somewhere. He is the first protagonist in the entire series and thus serves as our introduction into this world. While he enters the story with his own emotional baggage, he pretty much resolves all of that within the first book and mellows out from then on, fading into the background as a quiet support character.
Because of that it is maybe easy to dismiss Clay as that big guy who talks about food a lot and doesn’t do much else. But I do think he’s a bit more complex than that and is a well-rounded character with things going on in his own right.
CW: Discussion of physical abuse.
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Formative Years
Clays early years were molded heavily by his belief that he almost killed Tsunami while she was hatching. He believed this because his guardians, mostly Kestrel, insisted this is what happened. Of course at the end of the first book we learn that this wasn’t the case and that they were just misinformed about how Mudwings work.
To us, this may all seem absolutely ridiculous. We look at Clay and see this obvious gentle giant without a malicious bone in his body angsting about being a blood-crazed monster. But for Clay himself, this was a very real, very horrifying situation. Suspend your disbelief for a moment. His entire childhood was marred by the crushing guilt of almost having murdered his surrogate sister at birth, and he couldn’t remember why he did it. He understood nothing about this situation, and didn’t know if this secret violent side could even resurface one day. Basic things like going to sleep would become terrifying; he may have laid awake, wondering whether his body might act on its own as soon as he fell unconscious. Just like back then, when it acted before he could even form coherent thoughts. The fear of losing control to the monster and waking up on top of a loved one’s mangled body was always there.
This perception of himself as a violent killer was at odds with his social nature as a Mudwing. He loved his surrogate siblings with the same intensity that any Mudwing would love their own, and thus he hated the part of himself that threatened them. As a direct response to this dissonant view, Clay developed a desire to protect them. If he willed himself to shield them from getting hurt with all of his strength, he would never be able to harm them again. This was his way of coping with the fear.
It is pretty apparent from the text that at least Kestrel was physically abusive towards them. Dune was possibly too, Webs I don’t think so, but he also didn’t do anything to stop it. As Clay grew older I think he began to recognize the patterns. He would start deliberately acting in ways so that most of Kestrel’s ire would be redirected towards himself instead of the others. This is why all the Dragonets of Destiny have such deep respect for Clay; they remember him always standing between them and Kestrel, even as he ended up with more and more scars for it.
Luckily, he is able to reconnect with his Mudwing heritage at the end of book 1 and learns that he never was that blood-crazed murderer the guardians insisted he was. But even so, the scars and memories would never fully fade, and he’d never lose sight of the need to protect his loved ones.
Personality and Interests
Clay’s love of food and eating is well-established, to the point where it sometimes seems like it is his only character trait from book 2 onwards. This is normal; he’s got a big body and I assume the self-regenerative properties inherent to Mudwings burn a lot of calories, so he needs to eat a lot to refuel them. I think there’s a bit more to him still though.
Clay is at his happiest when he can either prevent someone else’s pain, or take it away. Conversely he becomes distressed when he sees someone suffering. I believe he is incredibly earnest and built close to water. He cries easily, though never in response to his own pain or suffering. He feels positive emotions very strongly and can get overwhelmed that way, especially when he sees his loved ones happy. When he cries, he does so openly and without shame. It is very unsatisfying to tease him because he will usually just take what people say to him at face value and thus make them feel bad.
He’s also very physically affectionate and huggy.
People who meet Clay often get the impression that he is book dumb, or just stupid in general. This is not the case, as Clay does have a capacity for learning even complex subject matter. I just think he struggles with subjects he can’t see a practical application for, or aren’t relevant to things he wants to do. He has little interest in memorizing ancient figures or learning how to measure the sides of a triangle
When Glory fights Deathbringer in book 3, she makes mention of a “dragon anatomy class” which I assume was taught by Webs. Clay, as much as he struggled with history and numbers, excelled at this particular class because its insight could be used to keep people safe. As such, whenever the need for it arises, Clay is usually quick to act as the group’s primary healer/medical advisor.
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(Excerpts from WoF graphic novels 2 and 3, censored for blood.)
This notion is further supported by the fact that, once they all become teachers at the Jade Mountain Academy, Clay is the one to lead an anatomy class, just like the one he attended before.
In conclusion
Clay is pretty much everyone’s big brother. While he isn’t as eccentric and colorful as the people he is surrounded by, his earnestness and general benevolence make him the backbone of the Dragonets of Destiny. Whenever anyone has a deeply-rooted, serious problem they are hesitant to bring up with others, Clay will usually be the first person considered as a confidant. Tsunami and Starflight know he would never judge or shame them no matter how ridiculous the thing they approach him with. Glory trusts him with her emotions whenever her stoic facade cracks. And Sunny has an incredibly strong bond with him.
I think that makes him pretty cool, even if he doesn’t really have much to do anymore once he overcomes his personal demons. I’m happy that he gets to be happy in the end.
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lalo0 · 2 months ago
Text
INSIDE AESPA EP. 2┃ You asked for it
Male reader x Giselle
Word count: 6k
Tags: BDSM, squirting, rough sex, dirty talk, teasing PART 1
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The door clicked shut. The lock turned.
Giselle stood there for a moment, her back to me, her breath still shallow.
She didn’t move right away.
She just pressed her forehead against the door like she was listening for something on the other side — a second knock, maybe, or the sound of footsteps walking back in.
Nothing.
Slowly, she turned around. Her face was still flushed. Lip gloss ruined. A faint pink bite mark at the edge of her collarbone. Her shirt hung wrong. Her eyes scanned me head to toe like she was checking for evidence.
“You’re lucky I like you,” she said, breathless.
I was already walking toward her. She didn’t resist.
The kiss landed fast, messy, a little too desperate — like we needed to remind ourselves that we were still here, still touching, still not caught. Her mouth was slick and soft, and when her hands slid up under my shirt, I didn’t stop her. I didn’t want to.
She was the one who broke away first.
Her laugh came low and a little uneven. “Fuck.”
I swallowed hard. “Think she saw anything?”
Giselle shook her head. “No idea.”
There was a beat of silence. I saw it then — not fear exactly, but tension. Like she wasn’t sure if she’d played it off well enough.
“She asked if I was alone,” she said, quieter now. “I told her I was.”
“Did she believe you?”
She shrugged. “Karina’s hard to read.”
I exhaled. The storm inside me hadn’t passed yet. My pulse was still racing like we were mid-act.
But Giselle looked at me and grinned again — that crooked, chaotic grin — and just like that, it tilted the whole mood back into something dangerous.
“I’m guessing she doesn’t usually walk in on you after you…” I trailed off, motioning vaguely between us.
She tilted her head. “After I what?”
I gave her a look. “You know.”
“Oh,” she said, like it had just occurred to her. “After I fuck someone during intermission?”
“Something like that.”
She grinned. “No. That was a first.”
I nodded. “Glad I could help you check something off your bucket list.”
She took a step closer, her fingers curling into the front of my shirt.
“You’re not off the hook yet,” she said.
My stomach did that twist again. That low, coiled thing she always seemed to provoke.
Then, without warning: “Give me your phone.”
“What?”
She held out her hand. “Phone. Now.”
I hesitated.
She raised an eyebrow. “Don’t make me steal it. I’m good at that.”
I handed it over.
She typed fast, thumbing her number into my contacts like she’d done it a hundred times. Then she hit call on herself.
From somewhere down the hall, a faint buzz.
“There,” she said, handing it back. “Now you have me.”
“Just like that?”
She shrugged. “I’m efficient.”
“You do this often?”
“Only when I want seconds.”
That pulled a quiet laugh out of me.
She stepped back, pulling her hair into a lazy knot that immediately fell apart again.
“I want dinner,” she said.
“Tonight?”
“Tomorrow.” She paused. “Nothing fancy. Just somewhere I can look at you across a table and decide if I want to jump you again.”
My eyebrows rose.
“And if I say no?”
“You won’t.”
Her tone wasn’t arrogant. Just… certain.
I looked at her. Still messy. Still glowing.
“Okay,” I said.
She started toward the door, then turned back one more time.
“Oh,” she said, casual as anything. “Don’t jerk off tonight.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I want you starving.”
She left me there in the hallway, every nerve in my body still lit up and humming like a live wire.
The door closed behind her with a soft click. Just enough to seal the moment in place.
I stood there in the hallway, alone again.
But not the same.
My shirt was still unbuttoned at the top, collar loose. My jeans sat low on my hips, not quite zipped all the way. The heat between my legs had cooled just enough to make my skin start catching up to the air around it. There was still a smear of lipstick under my jaw. Her smell clung to me — skin, sweat, and perfume I didn’t know the name of but would probably chase for the rest of the night.
I rolled my shoulders out, took a breath, and let the weight of everything settle.
She was gone. But the high she left behind hadn’t faded.
Mylo, meet chaos.
And somehow, it suited me.
I wasn’t the type to get swept up in things. I liked knowing the score. Knowing what came next. I handled my own business. Kept things simple. People trusted me because I didn’t get rattled, and I didn’t bullshit.
But Giselle? She was like setting fire to the plans I didn’t know I had. She pulled me into something fast and sharp, and the part of me that should’ve hesitated… didn’t.
It didn’t feel like losing control.
It felt like matching energy.
And yeah — I liked the way it felt.
I rubbed the back of my neck and made my way to the rear stairwell. The hallway lights were soft, gold-toned, humming low like the building was trying not to wake up. I took the steps down two at a time, not rushing — just needing air.
The door opened into the back alley behind the venue. Cool night air hit my face. It smelled like asphalt and leftover smoke and something wet. I leaned against the wall and looked up.
No stars. Just a low ceiling of cloud and haze, washed gray by the city lights.
I stayed there, breathing, not thinking too hard. Just letting it all run through me.
She wanted a date.
That part echoed.
Not a one-night thing. Not a brush-off. A real date.
The girl who walked circles around a stadium full of people had pulled me into her world — and now wanted to see if I could handle it outside the fantasy.
I could.
I didn’t need to prove myself. I didn’t chase. But when I cared? When I gave a fuck? I didn’t back off either.
If I said I’d show up — I would. If I said I’d take care of something — I did. That’s who I was. Always had been.
And right now? I wanted to know what came next. Not because she was beautiful. Not because of the sex. But because… somewhere between her mouth and that look she gave me when she said, “Don’t be boring,” I started to care.
Just a little.
Enough to make it matter.
By the time I got home, I’d stopped sweating, but not thinking.
The city was dead quiet. Just a few late-night food trucks packing up, their metal shutters slamming like distant doors. The kind of hour where even the rats move slower.
I let myself in, shut the door behind me, and leaned back against it for a second before turning on the light.
The room looked the same as always — two-room studio, clean because I didn’t own enough to mess it up. No posters. No souvenirs. Just me, a desk, a couch, and a mattress on the floor. My bag was in the corner where I dropped it this morning, back when today was supposed to be boring.
Now I was standing here, half-undressed, lips still tingling from hers, with dried sweat at the small of my back and the ghost of her mouth burned into my skin.
I dragged my shirt off and tossed it on the bed. Stood in front of the mirror, just for a second.
Neck a little red. Jaw tight. Chest marked up faintly from her hands, her mouth. I looked like someone who’d just had sex in a closet.
And somehow… not out of place.
I rinsed my face, grabbed a clean tee, and sat on the edge of the bed.
I wasn’t spinning. I wasn’t flustered. But there was something in my chest that hadn’t settled — a kind of electric tension, not from the sex, but from the way she looked at me after. Like I’d passed some test without knowing I was being graded.
And maybe I didn’t mind.
I’ve never been someone who needs validation. But when I care — when I really care — it sticks. I remember how people treat me. I remember the way their voice shifts when something real slips out. And I remembered hers, right before I left:
“Pick somewhere good.”
Not fancy. Not performative.
Just… honest.
I leaned back, stared at the ceiling.
This wasn’t some cheap hookup.
She gave me her number. Told me she wanted more.
And whether that was about the sex, or about something else entirely — I already knew I was showing up.
Not because I had something to prove.
Because I wanted to see her again.
That was enough.
I woke up half-hard and annoyed about it.
Not because I didn’t want her — I did, obviously. But because she told me not to jerk off, and now my dick was acting like we were following orders.
The clock said 10:13. Too early for a weekend. Too late to still be pretending last night didn’t happen.
I rolled over and checked my phone.
One notification.
[Unknown Number]
1 new message
9:41 AM
"Still starving?"
No emojis. Just that.
It didn’t say her name, but it didn’t have to.
I stared at it for a second longer than I meant to.
Starving was the right word.
I thumbed out a reply.
"You’re lucky I’m not the type to eat alone."
Three dots. Then a pause.
"Pick a place. Make it worth my time."
I smirked. She really didn’t do emojis.
I pulled myself out of bed and went to make coffee, the kind of slow ritual that kept me grounded. Ground beans. French press. Two fingers of oat milk. A full glass of water on the side. Everything in order, because that’s what I could control.
Her? Not so much.
I sat at my desk in just my boxers, scrolling through places in walking distance. She didn’t seem like a diner girl. But not the type to get impressed by reservations, either.
Somewhere in the middle. Clean lines. Good light. A menu that didn’t try too hard.
I picked a spot. Sent it to her.
"6:30. Laine’s on 4th. Booth by the window’s usually quiet."
Her reply came back instantly.
"If it sucks, you’re paying twice."
I stared at the screen.
I didn’t want to smile.
But I did.
She was already there when I arrived.
Corner booth, back to the wall, hoodie draped over the seat beside her like she owned the place. Black top. Minimal makeup. Hair down. Not stage-ready — real. And somehow even hotter for it.
She didn’t look up right away. Just kept stirring something in her glass. Like I was the one late.
I slid into the booth across from her.
“Hey,” I said.
Now she looked up. And smirked.
“You clean up,” she said. “Didn’t think you’d own pants without holes.”
“You look—” I paused. “Not like someone who gives a fuck about concerts.”
She tilted her head. “You still don’t know anything about me, huh?”
“Nope.”
“Good.”
The waiter came. She ordered a whiskey sour, neat. I asked for the same. She raised an eyebrow, impressed but not surprised.
We didn’t talk about last night.
Not yet.
Not in words.
But I felt it every time her eyes lingered a little too long on my hands. Every time her foot shifted under the table and brushed mine. Every time her fingers ghosted along the rim of her glass like she wanted it to be skin instead.
“You said you do UX,” she said.
“Freelance.”
“You good at it?”
“Yeah.”
“You like it?”
I shrugged. “I like building something clean. That works. That feels right without needing to be explained.”
She nodded once. “That’s sexy.”
I blinked. “UX is sexy?”
She leaned in a little. “Making something intuitive? Something smooth? No friction?” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Yeah. That’s sexy.”
I laughed. Just once.
She smiled like she won that round.
The drinks came.
She sipped hers like it was water. I watched the way her tongue grazed the rim of the glass when she wasn’t thinking about it — or maybe she was. With her, it was hard to tell.
“You really didn’t know who I was?” she asked, finally.
I shook my head. “Didn’t recognize you. Still kinda don’t.”
Her expression flickered. Not offense. Just surprise. Then curiosity.
“Everyone always recognizes us.”
“I’m not everyone.”
“No,” she said, eyes locking onto mine. “You’re not.”
We let the silence sit between us. It wasn’t awkward. It was the kind that says, we could say something important right now, but neither of us is ready to.
“So what’s your deal?” she asked, leaning back. “You live alone. You don’t fanboy. You can hold eye contact without turning red. What’s the catch?”
“No catch.”
“Bullshit.”
I shrugged. “I don’t play games.”
She smirked. “That’s what people say when they’re losing.”
“Or when they’re already winning.”
That earned a real laugh — low, genuine.
“Okay, Mylo.”
She said my name like it tasted good.
She looked at me for a long time after that. No blinking. No cover. Just… looked.
And something about the way her leg brushed mine under the table didn’t feel accidental anymore.
“Bathroom break,” she said suddenly, sliding out of the booth.
I watched her walk away, eyes on her shoulders, the sway of her hips. She didn’t look back.
But I knew she knew I was watching.
She came back with her hands damp, her lips freshly glossed.
The booth creaked when she slid in again. Her knee brushed mine and didn’t move this time.
“Miss me?” she asked, reaching for her drink.
“You were gone thirty seconds.”
“That’s a no.”
“It’s a neutral.”
She grinned. “Noted.”
We didn’t talk about anything serious after that — just movies, food, bullshit. She asked if I liked spicy food. I said yes. She said she didn’t trust people who didn’t sweat.
The vibe shifted halfway through her second drink.
Not dramatic. Just a lean. A look.
She tapped her nails on the table, slow. Let her shoe nudge mine once, twice.
“You’re still not nervous,” she said, not quite a question.
“I don't see a reason to be.”
“That’s new.”
“Why? Because guys usually can’t stop staring at your tits?”
“They usually can’t stop talking. Or apologizing.”
“For what?”
“For wanting something.”
I let that sit a second.
Then: “I’m not sorry.”
She glared, just a little, then bit the cherry floating at the top of her drink. She didn't spit the pit. Just chewed it like it wasn't even there.
“That supposed to scare me?” I asked.
“Is it working?”
“Maybe.”
"You're hard to read."
"Good."
Her smile curved slow.
“You want to get out of here?”
She didn’t whisper it. Didn’t blush.
Just dropped it like a fact on the table between us.
I met her eyes. “Yeah.”
She pulled her phone out, typed fast. Then looked up.
“Ten minutes. Our driver’ll be outside.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Our?”
“You’re coming to my house.”
“Just like that?”
She leaned in close, her voice lower now.
“You think I’m letting you jerk off to me alone after last night?”
Pause.
“You’re cute.”
The car was already waiting when we stepped out.
Not matte black. Not flashy. Just sleek and low enough to say, this ride doesn’t stop for everyone.
The driver didn’t ask questions. Just gave her a nod and pulled off once the doors shut.
She sat beside me, not across. One leg crossed over the other. Close enough that I could smell her again — something floral layered with sweat and leftover lipstick. Her thigh brushed mine, but she didn’t lean in.
She didn’t have to.
I watched the city lights flicker across the windshield. Neither of us talked. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It was a different kind of foreplay.
Her hand landed on my knee. Casual. Like it belonged there. She didn’t move it. Just let it rest — skin to skin through the denim, light enough to make my breath hitch once before I masked it.
“You keep surprising me,” she said.
“Yeah?”
“You’ve got that look. The kind that says you’re either gonna fold, or you’re gonna own the table.”
I glanced at her. “Which is it?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
The car turned sharply. She didn’t flinch. Just kept her hand on my leg like she had the right.
We pulled up to a private building — tall, clean lines, polished glass, the kind of place with no visible front desk and a keycard entry. She thanked the driver. I didn’t ask if he heard anything.
Inside the elevator, it was just us. No music. No mirrors. Just the dull buzz of electric tension and the slow tick of floors passing.
She stepped closer.
Not to kiss.
Not to tease.
Just to stand in my space and look up at me.
I didn’t flinch either.
Ding.
Top floor.
She stepped out without looking back.
I followed.
Her place was quiet.
Big windows. Open space. Low light. No mess. No small talk. The kind of place that doesn’t ask what you think — just waits for your reaction.
She led the way down the hall like she didn’t care if I was impressed. I liked that.
Halfway to the bedroom, she stopped at a drawer. Not a nightstand. Something built into the wall. She opened it and pulled something out without even looking.
I stepped closer.
There were things inside.
A pair of cuffs — soft black metal, with D-rings. Clean, simple, lined with something smooth on the inside. A coil of rope. A slim crop. A blindfold folded tight. A black flogger and a vibrator.
She held up the cuffs by one of the straps.
Then turned to face me.
“You remember the last time?”
Her voice was even. Like this wasn’t a big deal. 
“I do.”
“You were good,” she said. “Very good.”
She stepped closer. Barefoot now. Calm.
“I bought these yesterday,” she said. “After you left.”
“You thinking about me when you picked them out?”
Her mouth twitched. Not quite a smile. Not quite denial.
She handed them to me.
I turned them over in my hand. Light. Smooth. Real.
“You want me to use these on you?”
She didn’t say yes.
She just stepped back.
Turned.
And walked toward the bedroom like she already knew I’d follow.
She didn’t look back.
She didn’t have to.
I followed.
Her bedroom looked exactly how I expected.
Big bed. Dark sheets. Clean lines. Dim light from one warm lamp in the corner. A mirror leaned against the wall, half-dressed in its own shadow. Everything about the space felt intentional. Controlled.
Until she was in it.
Then the room belonged to her.
She stood near the bed, watching me. Still not speaking. Still waiting.
I closed the door behind me.
Held the cuffs up between us.
“Last chance,” I said.
She didn’t move.
“Tell me to stop.”
Nothing.
I stepped closer. Close enough to hear her breathing change.
“Say it.”
Her voice was quiet. Steady. “No.”
I nodded once, then reached for her wrists.
The cuffs clicked around her wrists — metal, cold, and snug.
She didn’t ask questions. Didn’t shift or resist. Just held her arms up and watched me like she already knew what kind of night this would be.
I tied her wrists to the headboard. Not tight. Just enough to remind her she wasn’t going anywhere unless I let her.
Then I reached for the blindfold.
“You want this?”
She nodded, lips slightly parted.
I slipped it over her eyes. Watched the change — the little twitch in her breath, the subtle way her lips curled like she already missed seeing me.
Now she couldn’t.
That was the point.
I stepped back and let the silence build. Let her hear nothing but her own breathing.
Then I opened the drawer again.
Pulled out the flogger.
Metal tails. Weighted. Cool in my hand.
I ran it lightly down her chest. No impact — just tease. Let the cold strands drag across her nipples, over her stomach, between her legs.
She whimpered.
Then I gave her one light strike on the thigh.
She gasped.
Another — higher.
“Ah—!”
A third, between her legs, just barely.
Her hips bucked.
“Mm—please…”
I said nothing. I watched her. Fully exposed. Blindfolded. Hands bound. Legs trembling. Not from fear — from need.
I grabbed the vibrator. Switched it on.
Low hum.
She twitched.
I held it just above her slit, hovering.
“What is that?” she asked, voice already shaky.
I touched it to her clit for one second.
She moaned. Loud.
Then I pulled it away.
“No—!”
I smiled.
Did it again. Again. No rhythm. No warning. Just pulses of pressure and denial. Her body started shaking with every almost-release.
“Fuck—fuck, please—Mylo—let me—”
I pressed it harder.
Her legs tensed.
Then I turned it off.
Her mouth dropped open, desperate.
“You want to cum?” I asked, leaning in close.
“Yes. Please. I—fuck—I need it—”
“Then beg.”
“Please—please, I’ll do anything—just—Mylo—let me—”
I pressed the vibrator against her clit and didn’t move.
She shattered.
“Ahhh—fuuuck—!”
Her whole body jolted — back arched, wrists yanking in the cuffs, thighs clenching around nothing. Her mouth opened wide as she screamed, loud and shameless.
“FUCK—yes—yes—yesyesyes—!”
Her legs trembled, hips rolling, caught in a rhythm she couldn’t stop even if she wanted to. Her pussy twitched, pulsing wet around nothing as the orgasm wrecked her, fast and raw.
But I didn’t take the toy away.
“Ah—ahhh—fuck—wait—!”
She tried to twist her hips. I held her down.
The toy stayed right there — humming directly into her clit, soaked now, slick and swollen.
“No—Mylo—fuck—I—oh fuck, I just—!”
She was shaking. Hard.
She came again.
It ripped out of her like it wasn’t supposed to happen. A scream, broken in half. Her hands clenched into fists above her head, her toes curled, legs kicking against the bed.
“AHH! Ahhh—please—I can’t—I can’t—!”
“You can,” I said.
Her blindfold was wet. Her face flushed, mouth hanging open, drool at the corner of her lips.
The sound coming out of her now wasn’t even a voice — just gasps and cries, high and hitched and cracking under the pressure.
“Stop—stop—no—don’t—ahh—fuck—yes—no—”
Another orgasm hit before the last one finished.
Her entire body locked — then bucked. Her thighs slapped against my arm, then collapsed open again.
“AAHH! OH FUCK—OH FUCK—!”
Her words blurred. Her brain went soft. Her moans turned into something unhinged.
Wet sounds. Slapping skin. Vibrations soaking straight into her.
“No more—please—no more—Mylo—I’m—I’m—I’m—”
“Say it.”
She sobbed. Her chest heaved. Her head rolled.
“I’m yours—fucking—yours—please—don’t stop—just—fuck me—break me—”
Her legs trembled.
Her clit twitched under the toy.
Her body went still — then—
Another wave.
Louder. Harder.
Her scream broke in her throat and came out in a choked sob.
And I still didn’t stop.
She didn’t know what she was saying anymore.
Just noise.
High, fast, broken.
“Ahhh—nnn—ah—Mylo—please—no more—please I—ah—fuck—”
Her legs spasmed. Her hips twitched. Every time I moved the toy, even slightly, her whole body jerked like it was being shocked.
Her pussy clenched under it, dripping, glistening, soaked from her own mess. Every nerve in her was fried, screaming.
But I didn’t lift it.
She sobbed. Loud now. Mouth wide, blindfold soaked with sweat, wrists limp in the cuffs.
“P-please—Mylo—I can’t—I can’t—oh f-fuck—”
“You said don’t stop,” I murmured.
“I didn’t—I didn’t mean—ahhh—ahhh GOD—”
Her thighs fluttered open and closed like she didn’t know what to do with them. Her hips bucked up, then slammed back down, chasing it and running from it at the same time.
Then she came again.
No warning. Just a ragged scream and a full-body snap like her muscles had turned on her.
“FUCK! AHHH—AAAHHH—OHMYGOD—”
Her pussy pulsed hard, again, again, and she lost it — every bit of grace gone, hair stuck to her cheeks, tears down her face, spit on her chin.
I turned off the toy.
She gasped like she was drowning. Like her lungs had only just remembered how to work.
Her head lolled to the side. Her lips trembled.
“…t-thank you…”
I kissed her inner thigh, gently.
She twitched.
Then I reached up and slipped the blindfold off.
Her eyes blinked hard against the low light, glassy and dazed. She looked at me like she wasn’t sure I was real.
But she was still mine.
Still cuffed.
Still open.
Still shaking.
I leaned close, lips at her ear.
“You’re not done.”
“Please—please, I’ll do anything—just—Mylo—let me—”
I pressed the vibrator back to her clit and held it there.
She screamed.
Her body jerked so hard the headboard thudded behind her. Her legs snapped together, then kicked wide open again, as if her muscles couldn’t decide between running and begging for more.
“AHHH—ahhh f-fuck, I’m—I’m—!”
Her whole body seized. She didn’t moan. She sobbed. Wrists pulling against the cuffs like they might magically come loose if she thrashed hard enough.
Her pussy clenched , pulsing visibly, soaking wet, slick and twitching from the force of the orgasm tearing through her.
“FUCK! AHH—AAAHHH—!”
I didn’t move the toy. Didn’t ease off. I kept it right on her clit as it twitched under the pressure, not letting her calm down.
Her hips bucked again, sharper this time, and her breath broke off in a choked whimper.
“Nngh—no—no, I just came—I can’t—I c-can’t—!”
She tried to twist away. Her body shook. Her back arched and dropped, arch and drop, trying to shake me off without saying the words. Her voice cracked.
“Ahhh fuuuck—fuck, Mylo—please—fuck me, or stop, or—something—!”
“Not done,” I whispered. “You asked for this.”
She screamed again as another orgasm ripped through her. Her thighs clamped around my wrist. Her pussy contracted, hard and fast, and she thrashed through it like she’d gone feral.
“AHHH! OH GOD—OH FUCK!”
Tears smeared down both cheeks. Her lip trembled. Her chest rose and fell too fast, air wheezing in and out of her lungs. Her eyes stayed shut behind the blindfold, but everything in her face was naked.
Wrecked.
Ruined.
Perfect.
“Please,” she sobbed. “No more—I’m gonna—I'm gonna—ahhhh!”
Her whole body shivered violently. She came again. It broke her voice, broke her rhythm, broke something deep in her chest.
She was trembling beneath me.
Tears streaked her cheeks. Her lips were parted, slack with exhaustion, but her breath still came in short, rapid gasps. Her legs were twitching—uncontrolled, overstimulated, her pussy pulsing in the aftermath of a climax I hadn’t let her recover from.
Her hands were still cuffed. She didn’t move them. Didn’t even try.
She was wrecked.
And I was still hard.
Still hovering just above her thighs, stroking the vibrator once across her swollen clit as she sobbed and flinched away.
She gasped. “No—no more—please—”
I turned it off and set it down.
Then I kissed her stomach—soft, slow.
One hand reached for her wrists. I unbuckled the cuffs carefully, one at a time, easing her hands down from the headboard like they were fragile. Her arms collapsed onto the sheets.
No resistance.
Just shivers.
I trailed kisses down her chest. Her body twitched at every touch, every shift of pressure.
Then I slid one arm under her waist, the other across her hips.
“Roll over,” I whispered.
She didn’t move.
I waited.
Then, slowly, shakily, she turned.
On her stomach first. Then pushing up, dragging her knees under her, face still pressed to the sheets. She whimpered—too gone to talk.
I knelt behind her.
Ran my hands down her back, over her ass.
Her thighs were still wet, soaked with sweat and slick and everything I’d pulled out of her.
I grabbed her hips and pulled them up—arched her just enough.
“Just breathe,” I said, my voice low, steady.
Then I slid my cock against her—slow at first, just the tip, dragging through the wetness, pressing to her entrance.
She moaned into the mattress. One long, helpless sound.
And I pushed in.
Deep.
She gasped, loud—then choked out a broken moan as I bottomed out inside her.
“Fuuuck—Mylo—!”
Her pussy clenched down around me like it was trying to hold me there. Hot. Tight. Still trembling.
I pulled back slowly.
Then slammed into her.
Hard.
She cried out, arms shaking beneath her, face buried in the sheets.
Again.
And again.
Her moans turned into sobs. Loud, wet, desperate.
But she didn’t say stop.
She pushed her ass back into me every time I slammed in, even when her knees shook and her voice broke. Her whole body was a mess — red, sweating, twitching. Her pussy was drenched, gripping me every time I bottomed out inside her.
I grabbed her hips and used her.
Harder.
Deeper.
Faster.
“AHH—fuck—fucking—yes—!” she cried.
Her head dropped between her arms. Her back arched beautifully, hips bouncing back against me as if her body needed it more than her brain could process. The slap of skin on skin was obscene — wet, punishing, constant.
I reached up and grabbed a fistful of her hair. Pulled back.
She yelped — “Ahh!” — but her pussy clenched tighter around me.
“You’re not done,” I growled.
“N-no—fuck—I’m—ahhh—”
“You’re going to come again,” I said, snapping my hips forward hard enough to make her scream.
She choked out a sob, half-cry, half-moan. Her legs buckled. She collapsed onto her elbows and I didn’t stop. I followed her down, one hand sliding around to grab her throat, the other pinning her ass in place as I fucked her into the mattress.
Each thrust made the bed creak. The headboard hit the wall.
She was gasping.
Sobbing.
Moaning.
“F-fuck me—please—don’t stop—ahhh—oh God—Mylo—yes!”
Her face was pressed to the sheets. Her thighs shook. Her pussy was so tight, so wet, so overused that every movement felt like she was trying to squeeze the cum out of me.
I leaned in, mouth to her ear.
“Say you want it.”
“I—I want it—fuck—I want it so bad—please!”
I pulled all the way out.
She whimpered.
Then screamed when I slammed back in.
She lost it.
“AAAHH—oh fuck—fuck—fuck—I’m gonna—!”
Her pussy started to clench, flutter, lock down. Her body tensed like a live wire, and she screamed one last time—
“MYLO—AHHH—YES—YES—FUCK!”
She came again.
Loud.
Wrecked.
Ruined.
And I fucked her right through it.
She came like she couldn’t take it anymore.
Back arched. Body convulsing. Hands scrabbling at the sheets, mouth open in a soundless cry. Her pussy squeezed me in waves, milking my cock like it didn’t want to let go. She shook. Twitched. Shuddered. Utterly gone.
And I was still inside her.
Still throbbing.
Still right at the edge.
I pulled out, slow, savoring the heat sliding off me as her body clenched once more in aftershock.
“W-wait…” she whimpered, collapsing onto her side. Her voice was hoarse. Her thighs still trembled uncontrollably. Her lips were swollen. Her face glowed with sweat and sex.
I grabbed her by the hair—gently—and guided her onto her back.
“Look at me.”
She blinked up, eyes glassy, mascara smudged, cheeks damp. Her legs fell open again without thinking.
I stroked myself—tight, fast, leaking over her stomach.
Her gaze dropped.
Her mouth opened slowly.
Tongue out.
Like instinct.
Like invitation.
“Good girl,” I muttered, shifting forward to straddle her chest.
My cock hovered just above her lips, dripping.
She kept her tongue out. Didn’t blink. Didn’t move. Just waited.
I tapped the head against it once. She moaned. Just from that.
My hand moved faster. My thighs tensed. She whimpered again, eyes pleading even as she kept her mouth wide, ready to be used.
“You want it?” I growled.
She nodded.
“Say it.”
“I want it,” she whispered. “Cum in my mouth.”
That pushed me over.
I growled—deep and guttural—as the first thick spurt painted her tongue.
She moaned loud.
Another hit her bottom lip. Then her chin. Then more, hot and endless, ropes of cum splashing across her face while she kept her tongue out, greedy, shaking.
Her thighs rubbed together. She was getting wet again. From this.
“Don’t swallow,” I ordered.
She froze.
Mouth full.
Dripping.
Eyes wide.
Obedient.
I leaned in, grabbed her face lightly, thumb brushing her jaw as I watched her tremble with restraint.
“You’ll wait,” I said, cock still twitching. “And then I’ll tell you when.”
She lay beneath me with her mouth open and full.
Cum streaked her lips, her chin, her flushed cheeks — her tongue stretched out like she was starving, and I hadn’t fed her enough. Her hands twitched at her sides, the rest of her still limp from everything I’d already taken from her.
But she kept still.
Didn’t swallow.
Didn’t blink.
My hand was still curled lightly around her throat, just enough to feel the flutter of her pulse. I tilted her face toward the light — slow, deliberate — and looked at what I’d done.
Mess.
Ruin.
Perfect.
“Show me your tongue.”
She lifted it slightly.
A thick line stretched across the middle of it, hot and heavy. She was breathing through her nose now, trying not to choke, eyes wide and wet and waiting.
“Now swallow.”
She did.
Slow. Visibly.
Her throat moved, and her eyes fluttered shut for just a second — like the taste hit somewhere deeper.
When she opened them again, I kissed her.
Hard.
No hesitation. I crushed my mouth to hers, licking the taste of myself off her tongue. She moaned into it, hands lifting to grab weakly at my shoulders, pulling me closer, trying to climb into my skin.
Her legs wrapped around my waist again.
Desperate.
Still not done.
I broke the kiss. Moved my mouth to her ear.
“You liked that.”
She nodded fast. “Yes.”
“You want more?”
“Yes—please—”
I slid two fingers between her thighs and found her soaked again. No surprise. I pressed against her clit and she bucked into my hand like her body was starving.
“You’re still fucking needy,” I growled.
She moaned. “I can’t help it.”
“You don’t have to.”
I dragged the vibrator up from the sheets, switched it back on.
She gasped.
“No—wait—!”
I pressed it against her pussy and she twitched like she’d been shocked, hips jerking hard, a sharp, wild gasp escaping her lips.
“Fuck! Mylo—ahh—n-no, I just—just came—!”
“Too bad.”
I pushed it harder.
And her whole body shook.
She collapsed into me, body still twitching, hair damp, lips parted in stunned silence. Her breath stuttered out of her like she didn’t even remember how to inhale all the way.
I kissed her shoulder.
She flinched. Still sensitive. Still raw.
“Jesus,” she whispered. “I think I’m broken.”
Her arm curled over her face. Her thigh pressed against mine, slick with sweat. Her chest rose and fell fast, erratic.
“I’ve never—” she began, but stopped.
I didn’t need her to finish.
She was wrecked.
Completely.
And then—
Knock knock knock.
Three sharp taps on the door.
She bolted upright.
Eyes wide. Panic blooming instantly.
“Fuck—” she hissed. “No—fuck, that’s Karina.”
I sat up too fast, already looking for the closet, my shirt, anything—
But the door handle turned.
She spun to me, frantic. “Wait—hide—!”
Too late.
The door opened.
Light from the hallway spilled in — and Karina stepped inside. Hair in a loose bun. Hoodie. Phone in hand. She stopped cold.
Giselle stood in the middle of the room, naked except for the sheet clutched to her chest. Her skin still red, thighs visibly trembling. Lip gloss smeared. A trail of sweat at her temple.
Karina blinked once.
Then her eyes slid past Giselle — and landed on me.
Sitting half-covered at the edge of the bed.
Her expression didn’t change.
She didn’t raise her voice.
Didn’t gasp.
Didn’t smile.
She just looked at me for a long second.
Then back to Giselle.
“…Who is this?”
TO BE CONTINUED... PART 3
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2neaky · 1 month ago
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. ۪ ֗ “ 𝑁𝑜—𝐺𝑒𝑡 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑂𝑛𝑒 ”⋆˚🫧
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PART 2 • [this fic has been split into two parts]
21k! CONTENT WARNING (MDNI) • phone s*x (mutual m*sturbation), edg*ng, unprotected s*x, p -> v s*x, b*ckshots, squ*rting, choking, c*rvix kissing, rough consensual s*x, dominating male character, possessive behavior/talk, dummification, foot f*tish, minor size k*nk, tummy bulge, heavy use of dirty talk, use of profanity, nicknames (Mami, Mama, Papa, Pa), use of the n-word (all characters & Author are Black) • INSPIRED BY THIS POST • CHARACTER VISUALZ
PART 1 HERE ->
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DRAGGING A HEAVY HAND DOWN HIS FACE, Sito releases a long-held sigh.
Parked up outside of the auto body shop, he sits in his car with heavy eyes. His cousin is still inside, in a screaming-match with the mechanic about a change in the previously discussed price.
He could only last about two minutes before he had to leave the confrontation behind for his peace of mind.
With dead eyes, he stares blankly ahead. The sun has long since went down, leaving the sky a dark blue. He should be in bed right now, laid back, watching Cimani go on and on about some random topic plaguing her mind at the moment.
He hopes she didn’t forget his call. 
He kisses his teeth. “Matter fact … ‘cause I know she forgot—“
His fingers move as he speaks to himself, tapping to get to her contact. 
For a minute, the FaceTime call rings out until ultimately going unanswered. His face twists up at that.
So, with an even worse attitude, he calls again. Because, who does she think she is, ignoring his call? That is not what they do.
His phone rings out for some time. His frustration is growing. Just as he’s sure the call is about to drop, the phone chimes as it’s answered.
It’s quiet for a few seconds as the call connects, then he hears her shifting around in bed.
“Hello?”
He looks at the screen, her camera turned off.
“So you forgot you had to call me?”
“No?”
Her voice is soft and quiet.
“Why your voice sound like that? You sound like you just waking up.”
There’s a long delay before she answers. “M’not…”
“Yeah, aight.” He stares at the screen, eyes narrowing in a squint. “Why am I looking at myself? I FaceTimed you. This ain’t no regular call.”
A soft, sound comes from her end of the call. He’s not even sure he could tell what kind of sound it was.
“I don’t wanna t-turn it on.”
He lifts a brow. “You want me to hang up? I’m bothering you or something?”
A short breath leaves her. “You’re n-not bothering me.”
“So turn your camera on.”
“Sito—“
“Yo, quit acting like this before I hang up. Forreal, ‘Mani. You sure you not just waking up?”
“Oh my God … I’m not.” There’s some shifting going on, picked up by the mic. It’s about a minute before her camera finally turns on.
Sito finally sees her in her bonneted-glory. And she’s as barefaced as ever, noting in particular how low her eyes are. 
“What day you booked the lash appointment for?”
“Um… “ Her eyes flutter as she pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth. She exhales. “S-Saturday.” There’s a tiny inflection in her voice.
He expects her to go on a tangent about the style of lashes she’s getting, even complain about how long it takes to get them done—the usual whenever she was about to get them done.
But, his expectations are subverted with her short answer and lack of an explanation.
“Okay?” He says, brows pulled together in confusion. “How much is it?”
“Mh—I don’t … I-I think $120?”
“You think? What you stuttering so much for?”
“M-m’not,” she—whines? Not only that, but her eyes almost kind of … roll?
What’s going on?
“You good?” He asks, more confused than concerned.
“Yes … J-just … tell me about your—um … your errands.” The last few words were breathed out in a rush, like she couldn’t hold them in anymore.
He kissed his teeth, his gaze switching to somewhere out of the window. “Haircut was cool, not much to complain about. Y’know, Ray did his thing,” he smiles. 
But his smile is quickly wiped away by the reminder of his current predicament. “But, Jahmere in there, arguing with the fucking mechanic about the price.”
“Mhm…”
“I’m tryna get the fuck outta here. Granted … the nigga is overcharging him, I’m not even gon’ lie. Like, I’m telling you, ‘Mani, he charged him odee for some crazy ass shit—“
His brows pull together as her breathing grows heavier—louder—in the mic. He has to do a double-take. Nevertheless, he continues with his story.
“Uh, they been screaming in there for about a hour now. I wasn’t even tryna hear all that, forreal. So,” he rubs a hand down his face. “I came in here—“
“Hh—mhm.”
He blinks. Slowly, Sito turns his head to finally look at the screen. Cimani is nowhere in sight. Instead, he’s staring up at her dark ceiling.
He expects a quick apology, an explanation—even a small joke from her about the oddness of her breathing. Yet, for the next few seconds it’s nothing but silence.
That is, until he hears it. 
It’s so quiet, it’s really a miracle that the microphone even picked it up; tiny splishes of water growing, almost drowning out the soft squishes of wet, slippery skin.
He angles his phone away from his face, just so she won’t catch it when he hides his mouth with a closed fist. Because there’s no way…
He presses his lips together, trying to keep a grin at bay. His call had definitely interrupted something.
Slowly, he inhales, trying to settle himself. “So, uh … you sure I’m not bothering you?”
Her exhale is loud, he can tell she had breathed out through her mouth. “Hhm—no.”
“I’m not?”
“No, Sito.”
The frail tremble in her voice does something to him. He inhales deeply.
“Aight, I’ma trust you… When you get your lashes done, get that wispy shit. That’s what you had last time, right?”
“Y-yes—“
A whimper hits his ears. 
“Aight, I’ma send you the money.” He licks his lips, looking at the still screen. It takes him less than a minute to send the Apple Cash. “You got it?”
“I-I don’t know.” Her voice is soft, almost whiny.
“Just check,” he begs softly.
She whispers something, but he doesn’t hear it too well. What he does hear is a slopping sound, and he can imagine her fingers, decorated with acrylic, pushing through the mess she’s created. Running through her lips to rub at her sensitive clit.
There’s a soft mewl this time.
“O-okay,” she pants. The camera is jostled around before he finally sees a peek of her bonnet again. “I got it.” Her voice wavered. “Thank you, Sito.”
He bites at his bottom lip, trying to stop himself from grinning any harder.
“You good, Mami.”
Another whimper. He can tell that she’s trying to keep quiet.
“You know you deserve it.”
Again, he hears what she tries so hard to hide: Plap, plap, plap. Like she had just laid three, hard slaps on her pussy.
He swallows, instantly reminded of the dryness in his own throat. There’s a hidden desire for a taste of something wetter. His heart is pounding in his chest.
“Lemme see your nails.”
“S-Sito—“
“Nah, you didn’t even show me when you got back in the car. Lemme see.”
It’s quiet on the other line for a few seconds. There’s no movement.
“Cimani.”
No answer.
He kisses his teeth. “Quit making me ask so many times.”
“Shit … h-hold on—“
There’s some fumbling with the phone before it’s finally picked up. Apprehensive, she lifts a hand to the camera, showing off her brand new nails. 
And as Sito looks at the deep blue acrylics, he notes how shiny they look. 
Glistening, even. 
Wet.
He can’t help the sick chuckle that leaves him. “Oh my fucking God,” he mumbles into his hand.
“D-do you see you it?”
He licks his lips, enjoying too much the desperation in her voice. “Yeah… I like ‘em.”
The hand disappears shortly after, and the screen goes dark.  It’s quiet once again. Well … almost quiet.
That soft, creamy sound is picked up by the mic again. He can tell her hand is moving slow. Probably rubbing slow circles against her clit.
“You like them?”
“M-mhm … yeah.”
“Knew you would.” He rubs the knuckle of his thumb into his lower lip as he eyes the screen. “Should’a just listened to me when I first told you to get ‘em.”
He wishes she would show him something. Even if it’s just her face.
“But that’s just you being a brat.”
He can hear her breathing pick up. Another minute of silence passes by.
“Your hair.”
“What about it, Mami?”
The broken sound that leaves her makes his dick jump.
“Wanna s-see it.”
Without another word, he clicks on the light for her to see. In the camera, he bows his head to show off the fresh line up.
“It’s good, right?”
“Mhm.”
It’s quiet for a moment, and that creamy sound seems to get a fraction louder.
“L-looks so good, Pa.”
Her words were a soft moan. He knows she didn’t mean for that to slip. She’s caught up in the moment.
And he doesn’t mind one bit, as he’s got a hand gripping on his dick. A quick glance out of the car window ensures him that there isn’t a soul outside to catch him. It’s not like they would see him anyway, not with his tints.
He sits up in his seat, gripping his phone a bit tighter.
“That’s my name now?”
Her breathing is heavy, even if she tries to hide it. “Fuck … s-sorry—“
“Are you?”
No answer.
Softly, he kisses his teeth with the shake of his head. “Stop playing, ‘Mani.”
“W-what?”
“Stop playing with me, Cimani.” 
She’s quiet again.
“Answered my phone call while you playing with your pussy.”
He swears he hears a tiny gasp.
“Least you could do is lemme see it … know it’s mine, anyway.”
“Sito—“
“It was just Pa. What happened?”
She doesn’t say anything.
“Don’t get shy on me. You was just playing with her, all loud in the mic,” he chuckles. “Shit was cute, though, I’ll give you that.” 
He doesn’t have a hand in his pants yet, but he’s about two seconds away from doing so. “Put her on camera.”
There’s a bit of shuffling, but it only takes a couple of seconds before he sees her: puffy lips taking up his screen. Freshly done fingers spread her open for him to see pretty, gummy pink walls squeezing in on themselves. 
Her cunt dribbles a cloudy, sticky sap.
He shifts in his seat, feeling on himself through his pants. “She always pretty like this?”
She only moans in response. Her clit jumps with another clench.
“Them long ass nails, bet you can’t even play with her right.”
There’s a whimper. “I can’t,“ she whines.
Finally, Sito unzips his jeans, slowly slipping a hand underneath his boxers. “Lemme see how you been playing with her.”
Her middle finger dips into her honey pot, swiping up a dabble of her pearlescent goo. It’s sticky, stringing between the opening of her lips and the pad of her finger.
As he watches, he runs his hand down his length before holding himself at the head.
“She drooling, baby.”
He sees her other hand pulling a leg back. Hand between her legs, her fingers pull together. This resume a gentle flow as they rub against her clit.
Which is so small. In fact, by the looks of it, she can really cover her whole pussy with just a hand. And as far as he remembers, Cimani’s hands aren’t big at all.
He almost coos, watching her work her little cunt until it sputters out a release from overstimulation.
His hand tightens around his dick as the thought of him stretching her out plays in his mind.
“Couldn’t wait to mess up them nails, huh?” he asks. “Them nails I just paid for.”
“I’m sorry—“
“Nah, you cool, baby. It’s cool. Lemme see how you did ya toes.”
He swipes his tongue over his plump bottom lip just as he passes his fist over himself.
The camera is pushed further back, probably leaned up against the bulk of her sheets. It happens so fast, it’s like he blinks and she’s back in the screen—legs pulled back and spread once more. 
And just above, on either side of her, her toes are curled rather cutely. The fresh acrylic on them is shaped in perfect squares, every last one of them a gentle pink.
“Fuck,” he whispers, twisting a hand over himself as more blood rushes south.
“W-what else, Pa?”
Oh, that got him. Something about that soft voice and her asking him—he’s high off of this fantasy-come-to-life.
“Keep playing with her,” he says, voice ragged.
She listens, no questions asked. As her fingers swipe back and forth over the swollen bud, pushing through puffy lips, he tries his best to mimick the pace at which she goes, on himself.
“You so pretty, Mami. How many times I gotta tell you that?”
The question is rhetorical, his mouth just running as his body breaks down.
His shoulder twitches, he sinks further in his seat. “Pretty ass lil’ pussy.”
With low eyes, he watches her cunt clamp around nothing every few seconds the longer she goes. Her hips twitch as they begin to roll against the air.
“Bet you if was there, I could give her what she really need.”
“Please,” she whines.
“She deserves some good ass dick, don’t she?”
As her fingers flick over herself faster, his hand, too, speeds up.
“Y-yes—“
“How long it’s been? Hm?”
“I … f-fuck—too long,” she hiccups.
Another broken moan falls from her right as her hand freezes. She’s still for a second, before she lays two quick slaps to her clit.
Soft white globs ooze from her, slipping down the terrain of her lips to the stained sheets below.
“U-uh … ffuck!”
She reaches down to scoop up some of her release, spreading it over herself.
Her lips shine like they’ve been glossed, a tantalizing view.
“Keep going for me,” he mumbles, still working himself.
Despite crying out at the overstimulation, she continues. She just keeps rubbing and rubbing.
“Oh, God,” she mewls. Her pussy clenches tighter. “Mh—Sito,” she warns.
“That ain’t my name.”
“I … I—“
She flutters twice, pink walls pushing out for him to see. Then, crystal clear water trickles from her pussy like a water fountain. Her stream gains a bit of height, even hitting the camera as her body bears down.
He can hear the cushioned pattering of her release against the sheets, like rain hitting a roof.
“Shiiit…” He watches in awe. “She get wet like that?” 
A soft, broken moan leaves her as she rides out her high, still rubbing her abused clit until the stream dies down.
When she’s finally done, her soft pants are all picked up by the mic.
“Fuck,” he groans out, a lazy smile on his lips. He’s still got a hand on his dick, having stopped to focus on her.
A gentle silence settles over the call. He looks at the screen. For a moment, everything is still. 
She’s so quiet, he starts to question their connection.
“Yo, ‘Mani,” he calls out.
No answer.
As he opens his mouth to call her again, a soft chime sounds.
She hung up.
Dick in hand, Sito feels like a clown as his face morphs into an expression of confused irritation.
“The fuck?”
ᥫ᭡
HER HEAD REMAINS DOWN as the pads of her middle and pointer fingers press into her temple. There’s a faint pulse there.
As her other hand cradles the cup of tea she prepared for herself, she struggles to even lift the cup to her lips. 
If it isn’t one thing, it’s the next. Last night’s phone call plays over and over in her mind—the second-hand embarrassment paralyzing.
How, in her right mind, could she ever think to do that?
Yeah, he’d caught her at a bad time, but she could’ve hung up. He even asked. 
Why couldn’t she just call him back? What about that felt so thrilling to her that she just had to continue?
He enjoyed it, she’s not stupid enough to ignore that part or even pretend to be oblivious to it. 
Actually, it’s not even all that hard to see that where they stand is as a little more than just friends.
But she hadn’t wanted that to change. Not so soon. Not with everything so unsure in her life right now.
Can she even handle a relationship with Sito? She knows she likes him, the crush has been there for a long time. Hovering in the near-distance. 
Does he feel the same way, is the question.
As she thinks back on how seamlessly he switched up last night, pulling out the dirty talk with no hesitation, it makes her wonder: is this just lust for him?
How seriously does he take her?
Cimani’s never been one to think of Sito as a slut. In fact, the only reason she’ll ever know of a girl he’s talking to or hooking up with is by accident (or snooping). He doesn’t discuss his sexual or romantic life with her, not since high school, honestly.
She can respect that about him, not being a pillow-talker. At the same time, though, Sito doesn’t ever really talk about much that doesn’t pertain to what’s between them.
Even if she can say that she’s known him for years, she doesn’t know everything about Sito. The vagueness scares her.
A heavy sighs leaves her as she finally raises the cup to her lips. The taste of lemon barely touches her tongue when there’s a knock at her door. She freezes up, staring at the door with widened eyes.
She’s not expecting anyone, she never really does.
More knocking.
Carefully, she sets down her cup. On her way to the door, the knocks grow hastened. When she gets close enough, she even hears the faint sound of one kissing their teeth.
The word “fuck” is mouthed quietly.
“Don’t act like you not there. You know we still share locations.”
She throws her head back with a silent groan and the roll of her eyes. Regaining composure, Cimani takes a deep breath before finally unlocking her door and pulling it open.
It’s like coming face to face with your worst nightmare and your greatest dream at the same time.
“I was ‘bout to say, I know you not gonna make me start yelling for you out here.”
She blinks, trying to make sense of the visual before her; Sito stands with an arm at his side while the other is curled around a big bouquet of flowers.
Pink peonies—her favorite.
He’s beaming, solid gold fronts cover his top and bottom row of teeth. And at his feet are several brown bags of groceries. She stares at them for a while. 
The nearest Trader Joe’s is twenty minutes away from her apartment.
She looks back up at him, unable to even process the wide grin on his face.
“Took me like three trips to bring all these bags here. Y’know, I didn’t wanna—“ he pulls the bouquet from the crook of his arm, showing them off. “—crush the flowers.”
She blinks again.
His smile dims a fraction as he looks off to the side. “So … you gonna let me in or…”
Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out.
“Okay, ‘Mani—at least take the flowers.” His face falls with possible rejection. “I’ll take the groceries back if you don’t want ‘em—“
“Sito,” she exhales.
He stands at attention, elated to at least hear her voice.
“W-why … what is this?”
His groomed brows furrow.
“What you mean?” He looks around at all the things he’s bought, before finally looking back to her. “I’m just making sure you good.”
She helped him unpack in silence—or, the other way around. Neither of them were able to say much. 
When they had packed the final bag away, Cimani immediately sprung to her electric kettle, starting it to make him a cup of tea.
It’s already half-past eleven, but she needs to keep busy. 
She doesn’t even ask him what kind of tea he wants.
No need. She already knows. Black tea with milk, and two tablespoons of sugar.
As she stirs his cup, he watches her from the other side of her small island. Every single movement she makes, he eyes carefully, studying her.
Her skin feels hot under his stare. Clearing her throat, Cimani slowly passes him the cup. She doesn’t look at him.
“You’ll make me tea, but you won’t say nothing to me.” He scoffs. “C’mon, now.”
Finally, she dares to look him in the eyes.
“Are we gonna talk about—“
“I don’t think last night should’ve happened.”
His face alights with shock, brows raised and mouth open. “Oh?”
Inhaling deeply, her eye contact with him falters. “I-I don’t know why I did that. It was—that was wrong, I shouldn’t have even answered the phone.”
The worlds tumble out of her mouth, clumsy and loose.
“And that was weird, I just—I feel like I crossed a line.” Her face contorts in mild discomfort, her body beginning to fold in on itself. “I’m sorry—“
“Hol’on—wait.” A breathy laughter leaves him as he shakes his head. “‘Mani, you making it seem like you just assaulted me or some shit.”
“I technically did.” She frowns.
“I mean—“ He looks around, trying his best to come with a way to word his thoughts properly. “Did I expect that shit? Hell no. Did I enjoy it?” His gaze locks dead center with hers. 
“Sito—“
“Yes.” He even nods for emphasis. “I enjoyed it a lot. Matter fact, only thing I didn’t enjoy was you cutting that call short.”
Her heart skips a beat, but still her frown deepens. “You don’t get it.”
His head jerks back, confusion clear on his face? “Get what, ‘Mani? What else is there to get?” He scoffs. “You wanted to put on a show, and I wanted to watch—“
“Oh my God, shut the fuck up,” she groans, hiding her face in her hands.
She takes yet another deep breath, gathering herself to prepare the worst to come. She already fucked things up this bad, there’s really no going back after this. Not with the kind of person Sito is, he’ll never let this shit go.
“I … I feel like that didn’t mean anything to you.” Her brows pull in together, and she looks as if she confused by her own words. “Like, I get that it was … whatever the fuck it was, but like—ugh!”
His face contorts with hers, trying to follow along with her words.
“I-If you just wanna fuck after this, Sito, that’s not what I want. Okay? I don’t just wanna use you, or you use me, for a quick thing whenever we need to get some pressure off. I’m sorry if I even gave you that impression—“
“Woah, woah, woah. What are you talking about?”
She squints at him. “What do you mean what am I talking about? I think I’m making myself pretty clear.”
“Uh—not really. ‘Cause honestly, you bringing claims to the table I ain’t never even claimed!”
She blinks, her face dropping. “Huh?”
For the first time in a few minutes, he actually cracks a smile. “Don’t ‘huh’ me. You heard what I said.”
Slowly, he rounds the island, forgetting all about the drink she had made him.
“Who the fuck told you I only ever wanted to fuck? I give you that vibe?” He gestures between the two of them, his expression teeters the line between confusion and offense.
“Somebody that just wanna fuck, gon’ get you all that shit I bought? They gon’ buy you groceries a-and get you flowers?” He takes slow steps towards her. “They gonna offer to give you rent money and pay to keep you pretty?”
By the time he chooses to stop, her back is pressed against the countertop. Her only option is to remain there, staring up at the man who only leaves a few inches of space between them.
“Cimani,” he chuckles. “Told you, you just like to hear yourself talk, forreal—I’on know what fucking impression I gave you, but I just wanna see you be put up.”
She can hardly swallow with his admission.
“I’on know how many times I gotta say that. I ain’t tryna see you stressed out for nothing. Not when I know I could make it easier.”
His eyes bounce back and forth between her own. 
“Do I need to explain myself anymore?”
Chewing at her bottom lip, she tries her hardest to wrestle her facial expressions under control. So far, it’s not working, because he can see the inklings of a smile on her face.
She shakes her head ‘no.’
Peering down at her, his gaze is focused and intense. There really isn’t much of a smile on his anymore.
“Now that we finally got that shit out the way, I’m tryna finish what you started.”
“That’s it … that’s all I need you to do,” he pants. “Just need you to take it.”
Her vision clouds as her eyes roll back, before her eyes squeeze shut. A rough groan rips from her chest.
His dick, wide and thick, stretches her out in more ways than one. As he peers down between them, where they connect, his dick twitches from the sight.
Her lips mare fully stretched around him, as she feebly clenches around him. Her body is filled to the brim—stuffed.
“She hugging me tight, huh?” He laughs, holding her open with one hand. “Tryna figure out what to do with all this dick she getting.”
She clenches at his words, earning another chuckle out of him.
It’s not even like she can respond—tell him to shut up … not that she wants to. Stuffing her big, pouting lips are Sito’s big, ringed fingers. Her tongue laves at them.
The only semblance of a response she gives, is a moan.
“Don’t gotta do no more thinking, right?”
“Mm—mmh,” she groans, the sides of her mouth leaking with spit. 
Her eyes flutter, only opening when he begins to drag his dick out of her. Her back was barely able to arch against the countertop, body pressed against the cold, hard surface.
“No more thinking,” he coos. “Not when you got all this—dick in you.”
He slides back in, pushing all of those inches up against her cervix. From the small underside of her stomach that he barely catches, he can see himself pressing against the wall of her stomach.
He repeats: pulling out just to push back in. Every revelation of his dick shows him that he’s covered in her glossy slick.
He’s obsessed.
The hand on her left ass cheek grips the little bit of fat tighter as he starts to pull her back against him. And still, he fucks back.
Wet fingers drag from her leaking mouth, to clutch the chamber of her neck. Each heavy stroke punches a new sound out of her.
“Oh—ffuck! … Aauh,” she shudders as he bounces her against him. Her breathing is tight and shaky.
“Pretty ass lil’ bitch,” he grunts. With each movement, he can feel his tip kiss her spongy walls.
She squeals, somehow tightening around him.
“Don’t know … how I let you think you was some fucking bum.”
She’s getting drunk off of his dick and words. Honestly, she can’t get enough of it.
“Just needed me to come remind you, huh?”
“Ye … yes!” she groans out. 
“Needed me … to come straighten you out … w-when you was being a fucking brat—“
His voice wavers only slightly as he uses more power in his hips. She spasms around him.
“Oh—fuck, stop doing that shit,” he pants. “Stop—doing. That—“
The sound their bodies make when they collide gets louder as he fucks into her with more pressure. She can hardly keep up.
The buckle of his B.B. belt scrapes against the floor, his jeans pooled at his ankles.
She’s screaming out, her body inching up against the counter.
The hand around her neck tightens as it pulls her back. Her back curls into an arch as he leans forward to crash his lips against hers. 
Their kiss is sloppy, lips sliding off of each other’s.  Well, it’s more like he’s kissing her. Her lips are parted, moaning in his mouth, loudly.
The sound of her ass clapping against his dick is louder.
“S-so fucking tight,” he gasps against her mouth. His stomach is clenching.
Both of their bodies are covered in a layer of sweat that makes their brown skin shine.
He can’t get enough of her, going back in for another kiss, even when he feels like he’s going to pass out from not breathing.
When he pulls away, their lips smack. He finally releases her neck as he pulls out.
Her body sags against the counter, her toned legs trembling under her own body weight. As her hands feebly grip the counter’s edge, she peers back at him, looking railed. Her slick back bun is past sweated out, decorated with flyaways and frizz. Even her lips are swollen.
Cimani’s blurred vision, mostly full of tears, tracks to between Sito’s legs. She’s staring at the very thing ruining her, wondering how her friend of almost ten years was carrying all this dick around and she hasn’t even known.
Long, thick, and deep brown, with a left curve as it hangs between his tattooed legs. He is, single-handedly, her demise.
He’s saying something, but she can hardly hear him over her own panting.
“You hear me?”
Slowly, she looks up into his lustful eyes.
“Said I’ma show you something,” he repeats.
Before she can ask, a warm hand grasps her inner thigh of her right leg. The warm touch makes her jolt, she’s sensitive.
Carefully, he lifts. And she’s not too sure where this is going, her brain too exhausted to catch on with ease.
In fact, panic doesn’t set in until her knee is put to rest on the cold countertop, level with her hips. A large, warm hand falls back to the junction of her hip and lifted thigh.
This new stretch, he doesn’t even need to hold her open to see the way her pretty pussy drools. Droplets of her wetness dangle from her slickened heat. The leg she balances on, trembles even more.
“It��s good for you?”
She nods, her head dropped between her hiked shoulders.
“Yeah … already knew that.” 
He takes ahold of himself, passing over his dick with ease as the skin is slippery. He comes to hold himself towards the tip.
“Already knew … you could handle that,” he exhales
She shivers, feeling the heat of his wide tip, kiss at her opening. It’s wet, gently passing through her lips. Tickling as it travels to her clit.
Stretched, her cunt flutters at the feeling, missing how deep he was. Lost in a trance, he plays with her, slapping the head of his dick against her clit over and over. 
Her back barely arches as she tries to push back against him. Holding his dick to her swollen bud, he drags a tight fist up and down himself.
“Shit…”
Slowly, he pulls back to her sopping cunt.
“Know you could take it… Know you could—”
A sharp gasp inflates her chest, body locking up as his dick slides back in with too much ease.
The stretch is greater this time, a stronger burn. She almost taps out.
“Fuck, she squeezing me,” Sito groans out. His fingers grip the fat of her hip tight. “Know you feel that shit,” he hisses.
Her eyes roll back to the whites, feeling him reach even deeper than previous. Before she can even moan out, her head is pushed to counter, held down as she begins to fuck her again.
“This … all I w-was tr-tryna … give you, Mami.”
Her pussy hugs him extra tight at the mention of that name.
“Just some … good. Dick.” Every sentence is punctuated with a sharp thrust. “And … make sure you taken care of.” 
Her mouth opens, but there isn’t a sound leaving it.
As he picks back up to a steady pace, her pussy lets go around him. All of the friction has packs her sticky release into a creamy froth at the base of his dick. 
A sharp smack is laid to her asscheek, his heavy hand gripping the little bit of fat immediately after. 
She doesn’t even have it in her to jump from the rough hit. Instead, she just flutters around him.
“This lil’ shit drive me crazy,” he slurs. “This lil’ ass booty,” he chuckles, breathlessly.
Every time they meet, spurts of her cum splat against his pelvis.
“You’on even know … how—how many times I—“ He presses his hips right up against her. “—times I wanted to fuck ya lil’ ass up—“
Her gasp cuts him off as he straight rolls his hips, digging his dick into her drooling cunt.
“Si—Sito—“
She tries to reach back. She doesn’t even make contact with him; he keeps her wrist against her lower back.
“I know, Mami, I know.”
Slowly, he comes to a stop, pulling out just a few, thick inches. His other hand reaches down to readjust her leg, which had slipped some from the island. He pushes it up higher. 
“I know—”
“Augh—FUUUCK!”
Her voice scratches at her throat.
His shoves back in, hitting her g-spot dead-on. She crumbles against the island, gripping onto its edge with everything left in her.
Her ass jiggles cutely every time his pelvis collides with her, bouncing on him.
“All you gotta do is take it … take this dick, ‘Mani. That’s it.”
He raps a hand around her disheveled bun, yanking her head up.
“Don’t even gotta work for it,” he grunts in her ear.
She can feel it, her pussy creaming all around him. He’s slipping and sliding into her walls effortlessly. Every punch his dick gives to her cervix, knocks the wind out of her.
With how fast her heart is beating, she honestly thinks she’s about the faint.
“Ain’t never gonna make you work for it.”
She’s sniffling, her face a mess of tears.
“‘Long as you don’t give my pussy away.”
She shakes her head, lips parted and eyes squeezed shut.
“No, right?”
“N-no Pap-pa—“
“Huh?”
“No!” She wails out, feeling her standing leg shake under her. “Oooohh—uh! Fuuuck!”
“Yeah,” he smiles wildly, grills undoubtedly shining. “Ain’t no nigga giving it to her like this. Ain’t no nigga that’s—dicking her down like this.”
Following every thrust is a spurt of water, splashing down on the hardwood floor.
“Ain’t no one doing it like Sito, right?”
She cries out, unable to even form words as she twitches around him.
“Gonna stamp my name in this shit,” he swears through gritted teeth.
As sweat drips from his forehead, his braids have even started to frizz up.
All of this pleasure, all of this stimulation makes her toes curl cutely. And he catches it, the square shaped acrylics decorating them.
His hand releases her wrist to hold raised foot. He presses his thumb into the sole, immediately triggering another set of kegels off in her. 
The pressure of his thumb to her sole, and his dick against her cervix, drives her body insane. Like a reaction set off by pushing two buttons at the same time, she cums yet again.
The sound of water pouring against wood makes his ears perk up. She almost collapses from the pleasure.
“Pretty ass toes.”
He slows his strokes his focus zeroes in on her foot. She can’t even say that he’s giving her mercy at this moment, as each languid drag of his dick against her spot makes her bawl out.
“Cute ass lil’ feet.”
His dick jumps within her, a recent memory flashing within his head.
“When you put ‘em in the camera,” he huffs. “Right above this pretty ass pussy … damn near nutted.”
She only shudders. Her body spasms around him as he continues massaging her feet. And with that, his pace picks back up again.
“Fuuuck,” he groans out. “You so pretty, Mama.” 
Releasing her hair, he lets her fall back to the counter, watching how he fucks her deeply. His control is slipping from him, his thrusts getting sloppier by the second.
“This shit all yours,” he pants. “This sh— … shit all yours—f-forrea—uhh—“
He doesn’t even get to prepare for his orgasm, but his body couldn’t hold back anymore. The first few spurts were buried deep in her walls.
His brain buffers before he regains enough sense to pull out, still nutting as he does so.
Laying his dick between her cheeks, it dribbles out the last few drops of cum, softening as he finishes.
“Shit...”
He stares, lost in a trance as he stares down at the beautiful mess they made. Her brown skin glistens with a sheen of sweat and his cum decorating her pussy and cheeks.
But it isn’t until she whimpers that he’s knocked out of it. She doesn’t even have to say anything.
So tired and spent, Cimani barely even registers when she’s placed on her back, her legs wrapped around his waist.
Her eyes are barely open, but Sito is all that she sees. Everything is so hazy. 
He leans down, pressing his chest to hers and he holds her close.
And when he puckers his lips to kiss her, her movement is automatic, immediately kissing him back although weakly. 
Their pecks are soft and sweet, almost too sentimental for what just happened.
And that makes her giggle.
He cracks a smile. “What?”
“My feet, Sito? What the fuck?” she slurs with breathless laughter.
He kisses his teeth, hiding his face in her neck. “C’mon, now.”
“I just didn’t expect you to have that big of a foot fetish!” 
Her giggles are music to his ears, pulling a tired chuckle out of him.
“I don’t ... s’just you,” he mumbles, uncaring of how feindish he sounds. Pulling his body up to look at her, his eyes run over her face. “You knew that, though.”
She hums, a dreamy smile on her lips. But as they stare at each other, her mouth falls into a gentle pout.
“You nutted in me,” she whines.
He pushes her fly-aways off of her face.
“My fault, Mami,” he says softly.
It doesn’t fail to make her pussy flutter again, the action pushing more of his cum out.
“Said I was gonna stamp it, though.”
Her faux pout lightens.
“I’ll get you the Plan B.”
“Thank you,” she smiles.
Before any of them can say more, the ringtone of Cimani’s phone goes off. They jump up at the sound.
“My phone,” she says, sitting up on her elbows.
Reaching over her, Sito grabs it up from its spot on the island, closer to the opposite side. He hands it over to her, carefully.
For a second, confusion takes over her face as she reads the unknown number. 
“Who is it?”
She glances up at him. “I don’t know.”
Nevertheless, she decides to answer anyway.
“H-hello?”
Sito watches with great interest, the focused look on her face—threaded brows pulled together in thought.
“This is her.”
As the call continues, that look bleeds off of her face. It’s replaced with a bright smile.
“Yes, yes—I can come by today.” She sits up more, Sito backing up to give her the space.
“Two?” She looks at him.
Confused, he nods nonetheless.
“Y-yeah, two is good for me.”
“What?” he mouths.
But she only looks away. “Alright … yup, that’s perfect … okay. Okay, bye.”
She pulls the phone away, ending the call.
“Who was that?”
She looks up at him. “That was an apartment locator for that place you found. I-I think things fell through with their first option, so they considered me next. They asked to come by for a tour.”
His brows lift. “You deadass?”
“Yes! Oh my God!”
Throwing her phone down on the counter, she jumps on him, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing tight. Luckily his reflexes are quick enough—he catches her before she falls.
“Oh my God!” she squeals.
She pulls back, staring up at him with wide eyes. “Fuck, what time is it?”
Reaching out with one hand, he double taps her screen to get the time—almost one o’clock.
“How fast you think you could shower?” He asks.
“Fast enough.”
His lips curl upward as he gets an idea. 
“Shit, I think if we both get in, we could save some time.”
This sounds like a bad idea.
She can’t help but to mirror his expression.
“I think so, too.”
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PART 1 HERE
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