#sorry . saw the fish and thought of them immediately

[fishmikey]

convict cichlids

[luc1ferian]

would you believe me if I said this was a roblox pressure meme?

[kxsagi]

Hihihi! I just stumbled upon your blog after taking a break from Tumblr, and I adore your writing!💕

I saw that your requests are open, so I thought I'd send one! I've never done this before, lmao, so sorry if I mess something up!

I was wondering if you could write something about arguing with the BL boys and then suddenly flashing them in the middle of it, asking them if they're still mad now?

I saw that you were fine with suggestive stuff in your rules, but feel free to ignore this if it's too much! I won't ask for specific characters other than maybe Chigiri? Thank you in advance for reading this! I hope you have an amazing day!💕

“𝐧𝐨, 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰”

a/n: thank you girlie, you're so sweet, have an amazing day as well! 😚

title is a meddle about reference chase atlantic girls ily

suggestive content inside! 

ft. itoshi rin, isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro, chigiri hyoma, mikage reo, kaiser michael, karasu tabito, ness alexis, niko ikki, shidou ryusei, itoshi sae

itoshi rin

you’re squaring up with him in the kitchen, halfway into a dramatic rant about how he never wipes down the counter after making his protein shakes. 

"do you know what cleaning is, rin? do you even see crumbs or is your brain like–" 

you cut yourself off, suddenly gripping the hem of your shirt and yanking it up with the speed of a magician doing a card trick. 

just. flash. like it’s the most casual part of your sentence. 

rin freezes. his jaw clenches, his whole body goes taut like he just got sniped from a rooftop. 

he doesn’t speak. doesn’t blink. 

his eye twitches like his brain is trying to keep functioning but a giant red ERROR screen just popped up in his mind. 

“… did you just… what is wrong with you,” he hisses, voice low and stunned. 

“you still mad?” 

he looks at you like you summoned the devil. “… you are so annoying. get over here.” 

he says it like a threat, but he's already reaching for you with dangerous intent. 

argument forgotten. you’ve created a new problem. 

isagi yoichi

you two are in the living room, arms crossed, facing off like two lawyers in a petty court show. 

"you NEVER close the cereal box. it gets stale, yoichi. stale. it’s like chewing cardboard." 

he’s rolling his eyes, "it’s not that deep–" 

you sigh like you’re done. then, without warning, you lift your shirt and flash him like you’re unveiling a secret treasure. 

it takes him exactly 1.5 seconds to process what just happened. 

he literally chokes on his own spit. 

“WAIT?! wait, wait, wait–” 

his voice jumps three octaves. his hands flail like he’s trying to rewind reality. 

“did you just–?! are you crazy?! i was–i mean, we were fighting!” 

you just smile innocently. “you still mad, though?” 

he’s red from the neck up, mouth opening and closing like a fish. 

“i-i need a timeout. a breather. some water. i–” 

spends the next 10 minutes pacing in the kitchen muttering, “i’m dating a menace” with a lovesick grin, replaying the image in his head like a perv. 

nagi seishiro

he’s lying on the couch, playing games, while you rant about how he left his laundry in the washer again. 

“it’s gonna get moldy, sei! do you even care?! i’m not your maid!” 

he groans. “too loud. i can’t hear my game.” 

and that’s it. you snap. 

you walk over and lift your hoodie in one swift move, flashing him right as he scores a kill. 

he literally drops the controller. 

“woah.” eyes locked. mouth slightly open. 

he just blinks and says, “that’s not fair. now i forgot what i was mad about.” 

“you weren’t mad.” 

“exactly. we’re even now.” 

immediately lies down with his head in your lap, face smushed against your thighs like he’s done anything productive all day. 

mutters into your skin, “flash me again? i need it for my health.” 

chigiri hyoma

you’re in his room, arms crossed, glaring at him for bailing on a hangout to go to the gym again. 

“you didn’t even text. i sat there alone for 40 minutes–” 

he tries to cut in. “pretty, i told you i had–” 

you ignore him. you step closer, grab the edge of your shirt with both hands, and– 

flash. 

his jaw drops. his soul leaves his body. 

“what the hell?!” 

his face explodes in red, like he got hit by a tomato. 

“what was that? was that a power move?!” 

“you still mad at me?” 

he swallows. hard. “… i was gonna defend myself but now i wanna marry you so i win either way.” 

immediately flops onto the bed and yells into a pillow. 

refuses to look you in the eye for 10 minutes. 

whispers later, “i love you, but i’m never winning another argument again, am i?” 

mikage reo

he’s mid-speech about how you should “just let him spoil you,” and you’re mid-speech about how “you don’t need a $500 pair of slippers.” 

the room is tense. luxurious. slightly dramatic. 

you interrupt yourself mid-sentence by slipping off your oversized sweater with flair, flashing him like you’re presenting a damn exhibit. 

reo’s reaction is instant. 

his mouth slowly curves into the cockiest, hungriest smile you’ve ever seen. 

his voice drops two octaves. 

“oh? that’s how we’re playing now?” 

“you still mad?” 

“i wasn’t mad, but now i’m incredibly distracted.” 

walks toward you like a man possessed. 

says dumb flirty things like, “wanna be my sugarbaby and my therapist?” 

spoiler: you never finish the argument. 

he wires money to your account and takes off his own shirt just to match. 

kaiser michael

he’s all smug and loud, spinning around in a designer chair like he owns the universe. 

you’re arguing about his ego. 

“you can’t call yourself ‘a gift from god’ in front of my parents.” 

he smirks. “they agreed with me.” 

you stare him down. then without breaking eye contact, you pull your shirt up and flash him with zero hesitation. 

he blinks once. twice. then he smirks wider. 

“… oh, liebe. that was dangerous.” 

leans back in his chair, tongue poking the inside of his cheek like he’s trying not to get feral too fast. 

“are you still mad?” 

“no. but you’ve signed yourself up for so much trouble.” 

five seconds later: you’re on his lap. 

he calls you a “cheater” while whispering unholy things in german. 

you never win the argument, but now neither does he. 

karasu tabito

he’s being an idiot. again. 

said something sarcastic. you called him out. now it’s five minutes of dumb back-and-forth in the hallway. 

you sigh. “you know what?” 

you reach down, pull up your shirt, and flash him like you’re changing the subject on a powerpoint slide.��

he gasps. no, squeaks. 

stumbles backward into the wall like you just slapped him with a holy vision. 

“MA’AM?!” 

staring at you like you just performed a magic trick. 

“you still mad?” 

he shakes his head, stunned. “not mad. but i might need a moment to process this. maybe therapy.” 

starts cracking jokes to cope. “was that a jumpscare or a proposal? because either way, i’m in love.” 

never stops talking about it. 

refers to it later as “the day he saw god.” 

ness alexis

you were in the middle of a heated argument (probably about kaiser). 

“why do you let him treat you like that? he’s not your boyfriend, alexis–” 

“he’s not treating me badly! you just don’t understand him!” 

and he’s got his hand on his chest, eyes glossy, one foot already stomping into a diva spiral. 

you inhale slowly. then– 

flash. shirt up. deadpan face. 

he stops. dead silent. his hands freeze mid-gesture, trembling ever so slightly. eyes wide, lips parted like he just got slapped with a romance novel. 

“... you’re weaponizing your chest.” 

“you still mad?” 

he blinks. gasps. 

covers his face with both hands, voice cracking, “y-you can’t just DO THAT! i’m vulnerable!” 

starts crying-laughing like a victorian wife who saw her husband naked for the first time. 

he’s pacing. dramatically. 

"i feel faint. lightheaded. i need to sit. or lie down. preferably on top of you. for stability." 

somehow the fight ends with him in your lap. 

whispers, "don’t tell kaiser. he’ll start using it against me." 

niko ikki

you’re arguing about him spending 6 straight hours on his game, ignoring your texts. 

“do you even remember you have a girlfriend, or is league your real soulmate?!” 

he frowns, flustered. “i was in ranked! you always say you want me to do what i love–” 

flash. 

you just hit him with a quick shirt lift and stare him down. 

his pupils dilate like he just activated his sharingan. his blue lens glasses slip down his nose. his mouth opens. closes. 

he’s buffering like a video on 2G data. 

“what the hell was that for?!” 

“you still mad at me?” 

he’s trying so hard not to look again. 

“… i’m not mad, but i’m deeply concerned for my sanity right now.” 

you smirk, turning away like the boss you are. 

behind you, he silently clenches his fist and mutters, “i love her so much it’s ruining my life.” 

texts you later from the next room: “you made me knock over my water.” 

shidou ryusei

you’re in the middle of a heated argument, likely because shidou can’t take a hint. 

“i’ve told you a thousand times to stop leaving your clothes everywhere!” 

“i literally live here. where else am i supposed to put them?” 

“on your damn body, for starters!” 

he’s grinning like the chaotic gremlin he is, clearly trying to get under your skin. 

you stare at him for a moment, silently deciding: this ends now. 

flash. 

you yank your shirt up, but keep your eyes locked on him. no warning. no hesitation. 

his face goes from smirk to confusion to full-on shock in a matter of seconds. 

his eyes widen, and he just... stops. his body visibly jerks back like he’s been hit by a truck. 

“… what the hell?” 

he snaps his head to the side like he’s trying to reset his brain, then dramatically blinks about 50 times. 

“you still mad?” 

his usual cocky, devil-may-care expression falls into full flustered chaos. 

“… no. not anymore. but you just became my new favorite person. you wanna keep doing that, or should we keep fighting?” 

he drops the argument completely and starts lowkey following you around for the rest of the day. 

mutters to himself like a love-struck fool: “this is it. she’s my queen.” 

proceeds to try to make you more mad for the rest of the week just to get another flash. it’s working. 

itoshi sae

oh, it’s on now. sae is being sae. classic emotionally distant asshole. 

you’ve been trying to get him to talk about his feelings, but he keeps brushing you off. 

“stop acting like you’re some kind of unreachable god,” you snap. 

“i’m not the problem here, you are,” he counters with that trademark smugness. 

and just when you think you’re about to lose your mind, you don’t even flinch, you just flash him. 

your shirt lifts slowly, not in a teasing way, just purely to make a point. 

his whole world crashes for a split second. sae freezes mid-sentence. he blinks. his eyes widen slightly. 

you watch the exact moment his composure starts cracking, the cool facade slipping just enough to reveal– 

“did you just–?” 

“you still mad?” 

his breath catches in his throat, voice suddenly a little hoarse. “… i’m not mad, but i might be a little… distracted now.” 

he clears his throat, trying to act like he’s in control, but it’s a losing battle. 

“gosh, you’re insufferable,” he mutters, but there’s this shift in his tone, the way his hand instinctively reaches out toward you like he's trying to anchor himself. 

you can tell he's so turned on, but he's also mad about it. 

he stares at you like you’ve just opened the gates of heaven, and he's not sure if he wants to kiss you or run from you. 

you’ve won. and he knows it. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[sudsnribbons]

Something sweet | D.W

Girldad!Dean Winchester x Babysitter!Reader

MDNI

Wordcount: 2,704

Warnings: Use of petnames, Biting, Unprotected pinv (wrap it before you tap it), dean being dean, oral (f receiving), DBF!Dean, Age gap (reader is 20, dean is late 30’s), Angst, Hand kink, Creampie, Size kink (if you squint), I think that's it!

A/N: Dean would be such a girl dad you CANNOT change my mind. I'm a Dean girlie so I feel like it's easier for me to write with him opposed to Sam. That being said, I hope you enjoy this. I had a blast working on it.

A/N2: I posted this, no joke 30 minutes later i was in an ambulance 🥴

part two

You had just gotten off of work. Your 9-5 has drained you. Same papers, day after day. If you were honest you could have just skipped dinner, and went to sleep. God knows you need it, but here you are. 

Walking into the grocery store to pick up a few things for a quick dinner. Deciding to roast some chicken, you stopped by the produce to pick up a few odds and ends for your lunch the next few days. While you were scoping out the best cantaloupe to buy, brown pigtails adorned with pink bows came into your vision. The little girl tugged on your blouse, “I think I lost my daddy.” She mutters shyly. Immediately dipping down to a crouch you tried to comfort her, “Well sweetheart what does he look like? Where did you see him last?”. The girl, who couldn't have been more than 6 years old, began to describe her father to her best ability. During the little exchange, her father came from the chip aisle, seemingly anxious. He breathed out in relief when he finally saw her again, “Babygirl where did you run off to?” He picked her up, setting her in the cart. “I wanted strawberries, then you were gone.” She pouted, “Sweetheart we could’ve gotten you strawberries you just have to ask.” he looked up from the girl to you, “Thank you so much, I’m so sorry.” You smiled at the man, “No problem she wasn’t a bother.” looking down to the girl you smiled again. He thanked you again and you both went about your shopping. 

That night in the midst of making dinner, he was all you could think about. You didn't even know his name yet the thought of him consumed you. Dinner was silent that night, the sounds of your fork against the ceramic, too caught up in your thoughts to turn something on. You went to sleep later than normal, since you had opted to make food instead of ordering out. Your wallet needed a break, and so did your stomach. 

---

Traffic was bad the next morning when you left to go to work, just what you needed. You were already running late due to your phone being dead. No phone = No alarm. You were finally able to clock in, sliding your card through the scanner to get in. Dull boring day was going by like usual when you got a call from your dad, “Hey is everything okay? I’m at work.” The man sighed over the phone, “Yeah sweetheart are you off tomorrow?”. He sounded happier than usual. Odd. “I can be, what’s up?” you questioned. “Nothing, just me and a buddy of mine going fishing tomorrow.” You relaxed as he spoke, “Okay this relates to me how?” You asked. “Well his babysitter flaked on him so he needs someone to watch his little girl.” There it was. You began to realize the relation. “So this is you calling me to ask to babysit?” You sighed into the phone, “C’mon honey it’s the first fish of the season.” He begged into the speaker. “Fine, but you totally owe me.” You reluctantly agreed. “Love you too pumpkin.” He hung the phone up, pleased. You slumped into your rollie-chair. Before you clocked out that night, you were sure to brief them of your absence, despite your affliction. 

It’s not that you didn't like kids, truth be told you couldn't wait to start a family. It’s just you haven’t had a day off in over a month and here you are using it to babysit one of your father’s friend’s children. Maybe it won’t be that bad, you thought.

You woke up around 6am, the same as always. Only this time you were switching blouses and skirts, for sweats and a t-shirt. After showering, you got dressed in a simple black pair of sweatpants and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Thinking nothing of it, you threw on your red converse and headed out the door. The drive there was peaceful. Slow easy Saturday morning. Fog covered the road in a thin haze. Despite your gps failing halfway through, you had gotten it to boot back up and continue to give you directions.

 Pulling up to the house it was beautiful. Gorgeous white house with a wrap around porch. Adorned with an American flag hanging from the banister. Charming baby blue shutters hung by the windows. This wasn’t just a house, no this was a home. Pulling up into the driveway, you are met with a familiar sight. Your father’s red Ford pick-up, parked right next to an intense black Chevrolet Impala. Parking a bit off to the side, you grabbed your bag and headed to the front door. Chatter muffled behind the door as you knocked. Your father was quick to greet you. “Sweetheart you made it! Come in.” He slid to the side and ushered you inside the home. “This house…It’s so beautiful.” you muttered, setting your back on the table by the door. “I helped build it, a long long time ago.” Your father smiled at the reminiscence as you both walked into the kitchen. An oddly familiar voice shouted from atop the steps, something directed at your father. Where have you heard that voice before? God it felt like it was on the very tip of your tongue and you couldn’t spit it out for the life of you. 

Heavy boots stomped down the steps followed by a softer pair of slippered-feet. As the figure came into view, it felt like the wind was knocked out of you. 

That’s where you knew him from. 

“Nice shirt.” Was all he could mutter, sporting his signature grin. You smiled back, as the blush creeped from your cheeks to the tip of your nose. With no makeup on was a hell of a way to greet the man that consumed your thoughts. It also made it harder to hide the attraction slapped across your face. “Thanks, small world.” Was all you could find. Your father looked between the two of you confused, “Wait how do you know each other?”. He was almost scared to ask, knowing Dean’s past. “The grocery store actually, his daughter-” You started but he cut you off, “Cassie.” He corrected. “Right, Cassie wandered off on the search for strawberries was it?” You questioned, looking down at the little girl still dressed in her pajamas. Dean smiled at the two of you, as she rubbed her eyes.  “Yep slipped right out from under me, and found your daughter-” He said. This time you corrected, “Y/n, nice to meet you. For real this time.” You smiled as you extended your hand, to which Dean took in his, shaking gently. You almost passed out when he took your hand, whole body buzzing with tension as his engulfed yours. “Dean.” He grinned, looking down at you slightly due to the height difference.

Both Dean and your father watched as you crouched down to the little girl, “And it is so nice to see you again Cassie.”. Smiling at the little girl, this time her tiny little hand darted out to shake yours, you were quick to return the gesture before standing back up to your regular height. “I’m sure you two will get along just fine.” Your father looked between you and the little girl and then to Dean who was staring at you. “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone, okay?” Dean pointed between you and his daughter to which she just found hilarious as she bursted out in giggles. “No promises dad.” You teased, and a spark went past Dean’s eyes as he went to speak but choked on his words. “Right. You girls be good, okay? Have fun” You and Cassie walked the pair to, and out the door. Waving at them as your father’s truck pulled out from the driveway.

—

You were told to have fun, and fun you had.

First order of business, like any, was to put on a gorgeous princess belle dress. Of course. Every princess needs a good breakfast so that you got to making. The smell of banana filled the air as you flipped the pancake, one of which was supposed to look like a crown, though ended up more like a squiggle. Cassie loved it nonetheless. After pancakes you decided to make cupcakes for your fathers’ return. A mess of sprinkles and frosting later, you have 12 well 10 cupcakes. You and Cassie had to make sure they tasted good. The two of you played for hours, swinging and running around the yard. Playing just about every game that could be played. The sun beginning to set, you had come up with one final activity. “Oh come on you’ve never built a pillow fort?” You asked the girl, and she shook her head, “Never-ever.” She replied. “Well it is your lucky day because we are about to change that sister.” You smiled down at the girl and the two of you started to round up all the pillows and blankets in the house. 

One magnificent pillow-fort later, and both of you were tuckered out. Cassie had finally given up the ghost and was passed out in the fort as the credits of Princess and The Frog rolled in the background. The sound of car doors shutting, followed by the low hum of your father’s truck pulling out of the driveway filled your ears. You perked up as the door swung open and Dean stood there looking into the living-room. 

You sat up against the leather of the couch as Dean walked into the living-room, “Oh you two had a blast didn’t you?” he muttered smiling down at the fort before meeting your gaze. “Best babysitter ever.” You motioned to yourself playfully. “I bet sweetheart.” He grinned while deconstructing the fort to retrieve his daughter. You started to refold the blankets and he held her close, still sleeping, and took her upstairs to her room. Folding the last blanket you grabbed your phone charger off the couch and put it in your bag, before starting to clean up the kitchen. You had just started to wash the dishes when Dean came back down the steps, this time empty handed.

“You don’t have to do that.” He muttered as you rinsed the batter bowl from earlier. “I don’t mind.” You smiled warmly. It felt almost domestic, intimate. He reached for the plate of cupcakes, picking one up and peeling back the wrapper. You watched as his hands worked at the paper before he brought the dessert to his mouth and took a bite. You swallowed hard and he noticed. “Everything alright there sweetheart?” He asked, grinning while he chewed and finally swallowed the bite of cake. “Mhm, any good?” You questioned and he nodded. “Been awhile since I’ve had somethin’ sweet.” He muttered.

It almost felt loaded.

Like he meant something other than that cupcake in his hand.

“Glad I could help.” You smiled and teased back, hoping you weren’t mis-reading signals. He smirked as you dried your hands with the dish towel. Leaning over to wipe down the sticky frosting-covered counter, Dean pressed against you. You froze as he spoke, “Now what did you mean by that sugar?”. Your face went red as you laid there against the counter, pinned between him and the cold surface. “T-The cupcakes, something sweet.” You replied in a choked stutter. Smooth. He laughed from behind you. You could feel the vibrations from his stomach against your ass as he spoke, “You and I both know damn well I wasn’t talking about a cupcake sweetheart.” His words went straight to your core, dripping with each word. You stood up, still pinned but now with your back to his chest. “You knew that, didn't you baby?” He whispered into your ear. Lips ghosting over your neck, leaving goosebumps in their path. You nodded as you melted into his touch. “I’m gonna need you to give me more than that angel.” He said as he turned you to face him. Grabbing your hips, he sat you on the counter. Barely meeting his height, he pressed his forehead against yours.

“Dean-” You whimpered in frustration, wanting nothing more than his hands on your body. “Haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already falling apart.” He whispered, his lips almost touching yours. Not wanting to wait any longer, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his. A tangle of limbs, resulting in your sweatpants around your ankles left you craving more. “Please I need-” His voice cut yours off, “Need what baby? Tell me and it’s yours.” He tested your restraint, leaning down to kiss your thighs. The top of his head pressed against your stomach, and your hand tangled in his hair. Dean groaned against the feeling of your nails on his scalp. “Fuck.” He growled. “Need you Dean, everywhere.” You whined, and he finally gave in. 

Pulling your sweatpants past your ankles, he tossed them to pool on the floor. His hand cupped your head as he leaned you back fully against the counter. Gripping firmly onto your thighs he spread you open, head immediately going to your core. Pressing open mouth kisses against the cotton of your underwear, he watched intently as you squirmed against the laminate. His skilled hands pulled the thin fabric to the side, like a cupcake wrapper. Your nails scratched against his scalp as your fingers tangled in his short hair. Groaning against you as his tongue delved inside you. His eyes, once a soft shade of emerald green, were darker and boring up at you. Dean watched your every move as his tongue worked skillfully on your clit.

It was like a bomb went off when you finally came, taking your hearing and eyesight with it for a moment. Your chest heaved as you laid sprawled out on the counter, Dean licked his lips as you sat up, resting against your elbows. “Sweeter than that damn cupcake.” He grinned as his thumb rubbed against your thigh. “I need more Dean–please.” He looked at you with hungry eyes, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to sugar.” He traced your hips, and you grabbed for his belt, “Need, Dean.” You said it plainly, not being able to simplify it anymore. With that he didn’t waste any more time and he unbuckled his belt in the midst of a messy make-out. He quickly rid himself of anything that could keep you from him. Pressing the tip of his cock against your slit, he leaned his forehead against yours and watched as your eyes widened at the intrusion. The way your face scrunched he could tell that it hurt and he was quick to comfort you.

“I know baby I’m so sorry.” He cooed as he pressed inch by inch in until you were flush against him. Soon, pain turned to pleasure and you allowed him to move. Each rock of his hips buried deeper inside you, you weren’t gonna last long like this. Whines and groans mixed together as you both approached your orgasm. What you didn’t expect was Dean to pick you up, wrapping your legs around his hips and plant his hands firmly on your ass. Gripping the flesh, he pounded into you ruthlessly. Rutting the deepest he’s ever been. 

He tried to hold off as long as he could, wanting to soak in as much of this moment as he could. You cried out into his neck, sinking your teeth into the soft flesh as you came. “Oh fuck-” He groaned, not expecting the bite. That’s what dealt him in, the sharp pain of your teeth into him was too much to hold off on. One last thrust he came inside of you, painting your walls with a thick creamy off-white. Setting you back down on the counter, he pulled his softening cock out of you. Whining at the loss, he kissed your lips as he dripped out of you and down the side of the counter. Wiping you clean with wet-paper towels, he muttered with that boyish smile,  “You free next week?”.

Maybe babysitting wasn’t too bad.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Saw the kissing list prompt and after reading 28 I immediately thought of Harvey x reader idk maybe it’s just me lol

Prompt: One person tracing the other’s lips with a fingertip until they can’t resist any longer, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss.

Warnings: Established relationship, smooches

"Sorry about that."

"It's alright."

"It won't happen again, I promise."

"It will, but that's okay," You teased. Harvey smiled grudgingly, giving a small nod as he sat back down in his chair, eyeing the retreating waiter's back.

"Everything okay?" You added.

"Fine. Mike ran into a complication, but it should be alright now. What'd you wind up getting?"

"Apple pie."

"Classic."

"What kind of complication?"

A grimace flitted across Harvey's lips as he folded his hands on the table. You rolled your eyes.

"I don't need all the gory details. Just a little hint?"

"Two words: Exculpatory evidence."

"Oh," Your eyes widened. "Yikes."

"Big yikes."

"If you need to go—"

"Mike has it handled."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Harvey reached across the table, taking hold of your hand. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away right now."

"Well, touching Rolling Stones reference aside, if something happens and that changes, I get it."

"You think I'm going to let anything interrupt our anniversary dinner?"

You tipped your brows up slightly, and Harvey tacked on, "...Again?"

You chuckled, leaning back as the waiter returned with your slice of pie.

"Thanks," You smiled, taking up one of the forks and tucking in as Harvey did the same. He got two bites in before his eyes slipped shut, a groan humming past his lips.

"Is that the pie, or is your phone buzzing?"

"Both," He grumbled, fishing into his pocket with a frown. "I'm sorry."

"S'okay." You dug your fork into the slice, doing your best to focus on it instead of the hushed, irritated conversation happening on the other side of the table. You heard a heavy sigh, and you knew what was coming next.

"Go on," You urged.

"Baby—"

"I know," You nodded, forcing a small smile as you met his eye again. "It's okay."

Harvey sighed, lips pressed into a thin line. "I'll be home late."

"Okay."

"I'll make it up to you."

You smiled a little, leaning up for a gentle kiss as he stood. You eyed the table as his footsteps retreated, tugging the piece of pie closer to yourself and poking at it with your fork. You could at least hold your annoyance until he was definitely out of the restaurant, right? Besides, you still had pie. You took a larger scoop of pie with a dollop of whipped cream on top and shoveling it in with a soft sigh. So much for a calm evening.

You heard approaching footsteps again, but assumed that it was the waiter, so you sat up just a little.

"I paid the check," Harvey's voice made you look up in surprise, "So don't worry about that."

"Oh. I could've—"

"I know you could've, but I wasn't going to let you."

Harvey's eyes wandered your face for a moment, and you frowned as his lips tipped up with a small, amused smile.

"What is it?" You asked.

"You've got a little..." Harvey trailed off, bracing on hand on the back of your chair as he raised the other to trace your lower lip gently. Your eyelashes fluttered as the tip of his thumb dipped into your mouth, and your tongue gently lapped at the smear of whipped cream. His eyes lowered to the swell of your lips, fingers curling around your jaw as he tipped your chin up for another kiss. You parted your lips, letting your eyes slide shut as his mouth worked tenderly against yours. You raised your hand to curl in his hair, smiling against his lips as he groaned softly again, then broke your kiss.

"Was that the taste of the whipped cream, or is your phone buzzing again?" You teased.

"You, baby," He murmured. "That was all you."

[matsunoluvr]

I thought I saw you were looking for writing ideas. Can we get the LaD men reactions when their s/o touches their butt by accident? (Bonus points if she shyly offers to let them touch hers to make up for it)

୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ accidentally touching the love and deepspace butts…?

warnings: suggestive content, swearing

author’s note: HELLO i’m so sorry this took literal months… classes beat me HARD. also… so very sorry for the zayne girlies, i had zero idea what to write. i feel as though i have disrespected him.

characters: rafayel, xavier, zayne, sylus

link to master list here!

more under the cut :3

when rafayel paints on small, detailed canvases he’s always edged up close to the canvas - basically eating the paints

it’s the reason why he literally gets his materials all over him, but that’s not what annoys you.

his back is quite broad, and it makes it almost impossible to see the canvas properly as he paints.

one day, out of curiosity, you try to lean in and get a glimpse of how he’s painting - getting on your tip toes to see over his shoulder

then you lean a little too close - but as you bring your hand up to balance yourself, you feel something brush against the back of your hand

and hear a very, flustered yelp.

“Ah! What the fu-”

immediately rafayel’s head whips around, his body tensing as he felt the gentle graze of your hand.

his eyes are wide and his ears and cheeks are already turning red with embarrassment - whether it’s because of your touch or his reaction is hard to discern.

he’s sputtering and stuttering over his words, unable to speak properly

like a fish out of water just flailing around, hands doing this and that whilst he’s just like “Uh, uhhh?? Huh? HUH?? WHY?” and you’re like “NO IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I SWEAR IT-“

definitely doesn’t want to admit that it felt ticklish, poor fishie had a sensitive butt :3

pouty and very upset with you, he was flustered beyond belief!! how could you be so… so prude!!!!!

definitely rubs his butt after to try and get rid of the tingling sensation it left

i feel like rafayel (if not in the ‘mood’) gets really easily embarrassed if you touch his erogenous zones - like his collar bones, ears, neck, abdomen and… butt

am i overplaying my ‘virgin-pure’ rafayel headcannons right now probably

maybe it’s in lemurian customs that touching in general is an act reserved for the one you love most/bonded to

and when you touch rafayel he still is flustered by it, regardless of the fact that he’s lived as a human for a long time (especially when you touch his butt I’M SORRY I CAN’T GET OVER SENSITIVE RAFAYEL)

so when you then suggest so innocently, so purely and so so softly if he wanted to - quote unquote - ‘touch your butt to make it equal.’ he almost burst on the spot

like literally you could here the little pwoof of hot air that came off of him

“You want me to- to do what?”

he gets even more embarrassed, i would say he gets red but he’s already so flustered he’d burst a blood vessel if he did.

is he against the idea of touching your butt? absolutely NOT rafayel loves every part of you, including your ass - but the idea of touching it just makes him a mess

and when you offer so sheepishly… how is he even supposed to touch your butt?

does he go in for a little brush? a handful? how long? finger tips or whole palm? upper butt or lower… does he go for one cheek? which cheek???

literally just malfunctioning on the spot, paintbrush dropped.

his hands are clenching and unclenching as he swallows dryly, composing himself as he takes a deep breath and reaches out - eyebrows furrowed as if he was concentrating really hard

slowly, he just - rests his finger tips against your butt.

he was so shy, as if he’d never touched your butt before - although to be fair he was much less off guard and more… in the mood.

you could almost laugh at how sheepish he seemed, not even making eye contact with you

“Hmph, this doesn’t make things even cutie.”

you and xavier were taking a nap together, well more like cuddling as you had both long waken up.

he was nuzzling into you, face rested in a gentle smile of content as his nose prods gently into your neck, arms lazily wrapped around your waist

your arms were trapped in his grasp until you wiggled a little - much to his dismay, and freed them

“Don’t wanna cuddle with me?”

faux offence masks his face as he pouts up at you, eyebrows furrowed as he gives your neck a loving little kiss

rolling your eyes, you shift in his grasp to allow yourself to cross your arms over his back

but as you reached around to hug him… instead of grabbing his lower back you aimed a little too low

boom.

hand full of ass.

xavier is definitely surprised, you can tell by the way he doesn’t say anything and instead he widens his eyes a little, lips parting slightly

his butt is nice and soft, and to be honest if you weren’t so embarrassed by the wholesome situation turning very PG18 in a matter of seconds you’d probably appreciate it a little more

but you have no time to revel in the stress-ball, mochi-esque butt before you shrivel up in mortification

i feel like xavier gets over it quite quickly, just blinking a bit before giving you a cheeky smile

“I didn’t know you wanted to do that to me.”

no matter what flustered excuses you give, he’ll innocently tease you further about the little situation

he’d say things like ‘would you rate your experience?’ and ‘is this an exclusive perk only you get?”

to be honest, you couldn’t tell if he was trying to ease the tension or if he genuinely just didn’t care that you literally squeezed his butt like it was a toy

shifting around in his arms, you try to face away but he just airily chuckles - grasp firm enough to make it difficult to turn but not impossible

he knows you didn’t really wanna turn away

until you do turn around

immediate switch in demeanour, going from teasing and playful to more concerned and serious

thinks he upset you by teasing you or that you got too embarrassed around him - both terrible outcomes in his eyes

but just as he’s about to ask what was wrong, you mumble out some words

xavier asks you to repeat yourself even though he’s heard the first time

he thought he heard wrong

but when you repeat yourself, a little ‘you can do it back…’ he’s holding back a jaw drop

however, after not too long you feel a large, firm hand snake its way from your waist, to your hips, then finally settling cozy on your butt - and you could feel his smirk against your skin.

definitely gives it a little squish, not a squeeze, just a squish

don’t be fooled by his faux calm demeanour, he’s actually using every ounce of his self control not to take you on the spot as he watches your reaction

“I’m not quite satisfied yet… is there anything more for you to offer me?”

playing doctors with dr zayne…

him checking out your blood components, heart beat etc, just a routinely check-up to ensure your protocore syndrome isn’t acting up

his hands soothing over your upper arm as he takes your blood pressure, calloused fingers rubbing (whether intentionally or not) against you whilst adjusting the device

he’s fully in business-no-nonsense mode, you could tell by the crease in his eyebrows

you can’t help but become amused at his professionalism, i mean, after all, he was your boyfriend - what’s with the coldness?

giving his cheek (face… not ass) a small pinch, you try to egg a smile out of him - only for him to frown and move your hand away gently - but firmly - a clear message of ‘not until the procedure is done’

fine… doctors orders i guess

after everything’s done zayne’s face relaxes a little, and you know he’s out of professionalism mode

to celebrate another check up of not dying and not being in imminent danger of your protocore syndrome wiping out your existence, you jump up from the table and go to pat his back…

pat his back… oh how pure and innocent your intentions were

unfortunately for you, the results were far less PG when you watch zayne stiffen up, eyes ever so slightly widening as he feels your palm flatten against his rear

a small “Hmph?” for a reaction

it was a little surprising how firm it was, and if you’d not whipped your hand away at mach-fucking-speed it’d probably have tensed a little more

but your hand did retreat much faster than humanely possible

his lips part… expecting some sort of comment from him

you already began to scheme some sort of excuse

it was the wind.

he was hallucinating, how much sleep did he get last night?

and then he readjusts his tie, looks down at his clipboard and carries on talking

…

..

what??

you, his significant other, just touched his ass and his response is to read out your ‘average platelet count’ and ‘mild arrhythmia but-nothing-out-of-the-normal-for-you’???

when you look at him incredulously, he falters ever so slightly

“What’s the matter?”

not so politely pointing out the obvious that - hey dude, you’re not going to say anything after i groped you?? - he can’t help but respond with an amused huff

replying with something sophisticated about “accidents happen all the time” and that you’re “both mature enough” makes you feel, well, embarrassed at how relaxed he was

it made you want to tease him, mess with him, see him as flustered as you.

so, naturally, as any person would, you asked him if he wanted to “return the favour”

and naturally, as any person would if their partner suggested something like that, zayne’s mind short circuited

“Not in the hospital, Y/N…”

don’t feel too dejected, that night he DEFINITELY made use of that ass (proud believer of zayne doggy style lover)

missions with sylus were always an adventure

you were either going to be diverging on a mini “date” (toooootally platonic.), looking at flowers, enjoying the nicer outskirts of the N109 zone, or quite literally fighting for your life

today… well somehow you found yourselves playing cat and mouse with a group of men…

except imagine the cats had literal war weapons

and the mouse had a crow friend with a bit too smart of a mouth.

which definitely spoke the wrong words at the right times.

sylus had insisted he just “rid of the problem” to which you pointed out that the mission goal was to extract intel from one of the masked members

after muttering something unintelligible under his breath (probably some curses or whinging, man child.) he decided to jog after you

which is how you two ended up hiding behind a flight of stairs, three or four mossy, wooden crates pressing the two of you against the dull brick wall

the faint damp smell of rotting organic matter, however, served nothing to distract you of the sensation of your front pressing a bit too much into sylus

sylus is a tall man, evident by the way his was craning, preventing his hair from brushing on the underside of the stairs

which also meant your lower tummy was pressing flush against his butt.

if sylus was uncomfortable, he definitely did not show it, nor comment on it

in fact, it seemed as though only you noticed the predicament the two of you were in, but you knew that was far from the truth.

nothing could evade his inhuman senses.

the sound of footsteps flooding the streets almost drowned the rush of blood that was flowing through your face, invading your ears and sending a dull ring through your skull

why was it kind of soft?

would it not be more muscled, toned?? his thighs look well sculpted, does he neglect his ass??

or is he just born with a peachy butt? is he blessed by some butt genie?

peace be with you, butt genie, this ass is marvellous.

“Sweetie, they’re all gone.”

his low, calm voice reels your mind back as you realise what was going on.

oh my god. you were literally GROPING his ass.

hastily pushing back and away, you almost tumble over the crates as you distance from his ass as MUCH as possible

it was too powerful, like a magnet it’s force field dragged your body to it!

as sylus was extracting himself from the hiding spot, you slowly come up with some sort of repentance, an apology.

you’d say you apologise for pushing any boundaries and that you understand that it was inappropriate and then the two of you would continue with the mission.

which was obviously why when he was dusting off his clothes you stutter out “You can touch my butt too.”

if you were trying to see sylus surprised for the first time, it definitely was successful.

after his initial confusion, a little smirk plastered his lips as he raised an eyebrow

“Could I claim my prize now?”

with the hesitant nod of your head, a large, warm hand clasps around one of your cheeks and gives it a firm squeeze.

he lets out a deep, appreciative hum before letting his thumb rub across the peak of your butt, then lifting his other hand to gently tap the end of your nose

“Naughty kitten, don’t offer these services to anyone else. Okay?”

end note: ARGHHH i’m not happy with this lowkey but i can’t do any better!! im so sorry requester if this disappoints (;´д｀)

[solspina]

We Should Stick Together (2)

sanguinius ⋆˙⟡

hello! remember this that i wrote like 3 months ago? flooding my inbox worked, and i gift you all the part 2 that you harassed me for (affectionate). i hope you enjoy, and please feel free to drop more writing ideas in my inbox if you have them!! i have work in 6 hours so i am very sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes :)

as the race to the imperial palace comes to an abrupt end, sanguinius confronts his greatest fear, and finally discovers whether this is a battle he wins or loses to his perfect phoenician brother.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: n/a

(part 1)

Sanguinius turned back, ensuring that Fulgrim had become a mere speck in the distance, even to the sharp and trained eyes of the avian mutant.

Five minutes… He had five minutes at most before the Phoenician stormed into the imperial palace and attempted to track down the woman he knew was his brother’s desired bride. Although much slower than the angel, Fulgrim was still a primarch, and therefore incomprehensibly faster on foot than the average human. The duo had only ventured about three miles away from the palace to begin with, and though Sanguinius could cover that distance in half the time his brother could, he still worried for the little time he had.

The angel landed rather clumsily, his feet failing to obtain a proper stance on the floor before his wings had folded in upon his back. He stumbled, unable to catch himself before his clothes and feathers were covered in the dusts of holy Terra just as his hands had been.

In flight, his appearance had become quite disheveled, and was now accompanied by the filth of the ground. His hair had become frizzy from the abuse upon it by the wind, and his loose feathers stood on his wings in a way that made them rather itchy. He would deal with that later. No time to lose right now.

His stagger to his feet was near immediate. One moment of hesitation meant one moment Fulgrim would inch closer to the imperial place.

Sanguinius was most concerned with finding her before the phonecian ever even got the opportunity, but the thought that he had not prepared a speech lingered in the back of his head like a quickly spreading disease. The great angel was and always had been an artist of impeccable detail, a poet of unimaginably beautiful words, a man who spoke to inspire the masses. And yet despite all of this, so was his brother, whom no doubt had much more time to prepare for the exact upcoming moment.

Pale white wings trembled ever so slightly at the thought, yet they caused the angel to more hastily sprint through every room that a baseline could possibly hide in. What if, even if he had been here first, Fulgrim’s speech was more captivating and practiced? What if she cared more about the display and grandeur than the intentions of her suitor? Did she know that Fulgrim had been married before? That he would have infinitely more experience when it was time to bed he-

Not the time to think about that.

Sanguinius turned another corner as he searched for the person he so desired, but again he found nothing. Thus began his endless chase of navigating this imperial labyrinth. He turned another, and another, and another, and another, until he finally found himself gazing into one of the imperial palace's many greenhouses.

There he saw his dearest beloved sitting elegantly by a pond filled with fish of many species. Greenery, a lovely assortment of flowers and, golden sunset light adorned her body in an impossibly perfect halo. The water that poured from the elaborate fountains complimented the melody in her voice like a song made only by nature's most beautiful things, meant to cleanse his very soul.

The scene would have been a dream if not made a nightmare by the pompous and flamboyant voice of Fulgrim, drowning out what should have been Sanguinius' idealized solace.

The Phoenician let out a pretentious laugh at something the baseline said, and the angel physically cringed at the way she placed her hands over her stomach to ease her own mirth. The sight should have been something glorious, enchanting to the eyes of the ninth. It had been so many times before, yet he only felt his blood begin to boil.

only I should make you laugh that way.

He did not know what emotion flooded his heart the most. Envy? Or perhaps sorrow? rage? resentment for his silver haired brother?

What he did know, however, was that he had lost.

Somewhere amongst an incredibly confusing concoction of emotions, the angel was beyond certain that a searing heartache was included in the most prevalent of them.

He may have been able to disguise his current visage as nervousness, were anyone of importance to ask why his mood had become morose. Social interaction with a passing custodian or serf had become the least of his worries. He did not care much, at this point, if someone saw him sulking in the doorway to the garden, grieving a baseline as if he had - for lack of a better comparison - lost his lover.

Not that a soul would come through to the conservatory anyway.

"Brother!" The palatine phoenix called. His voice was loud, deafening almost. High and mighty as ever, and calling upon all eyes that could see to face the angel in his horrent state of embarrassment. "Come! We have awaited your presence."

The smile of the third was hideously genuine. The stretch of his lips when his eyes met those of the human was so sweet it was sickening to Sanguinius - so much so that it sent a chill up his spine that caused his feathers to fluff and clatter against each other when he reacted to the sensation.

"We were just discussing you." The Phoenician beamed as the angel mournfully walked forward.

"Ah." Sanguinius replied. His cheerful personality had become lost somewhere deep in his chest, and what little of his voice he displayed had become somber and quiet. Quite truthfully, he was not in the mood for any type of social affair. He especially did not want to take part in the type of conversation that had likely already seen his would-be espouse become betrothed to his perfect, handsome, non-mutant brother.

"I was just about to ask this lovely baseline of ours a very important question~"

Oh?

About to?

Fulgrim hadn't asked yet?

The angel swore he saw the third wink at him before he started to begin speaking again. Something in those shiny violet eyes beckoned the angel as they stared deep into his ruby red gaze. An opportunity, he thought, a wordless promise. - "ask her now. last chance."

Before the phoenix could fall gracefully onto one knee, the golden primarch hastily plucked the red-diamond ring - a gem color choice Sanguinius found ironic - and fell to both knees. He firmly grabbed both of the human's small hands with his own and placed them gently to his forehead, unmistakably in a position of prayer.

"Please!" He cried. His voice rang almost in protest, if not for the tears forming in his eyes alongside the exasperation in his breath and the sobs in his voice. "Listen not to a word Fulgrim says! You should marry me! Me!" He paused, only to take one pathetic gasp of air and look up into her eyes.

"Brother..."

"You have not one idea how long I have waited, how hard I have worked to find the perfect gift! And now I am rushed! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Sanguinius!" The phoenician shouted. "I was going to ask her if she had eaten yet today. So you could have done this over dinner."

The angel paused; his crying ceased. "What...?" Two crimson eyes both widened, and then dulled in embarrassment as he looked back up at the baseline. She looked at him in complete and utter stupor.

"W-wait. I can explain." He stuttered out.

She sighed in response, but followed the fading of her shock with a grin and gentle laugh.

Sanguinius did not know how he felt, regardless of her pleasant reaction. She gently removed her hands from his, taking her hand and wiping away tears from his pathetic, wet face. "Ask me again over dinner."

Her smile did not fade. Not even for a moment.

The ninth shared a sigh of his own, before giving a nod and a kind smile of his own in approval. He hoped he hadn't looked as bad as he thought, despite his disheveled hair, wings browned from terran dust, and now burning red cheeks.

"I will clean myself up, and do this properly." He promised. He bowed slightly to her, taking her hand and giving the back of it a soft and proper kiss. "Wear your nicest clothing. I will treat you to whatever you wish, as an apology."

"To tonight, then." She gracefully returned his bow. Her face was covered in a gentle blush of its own, her eyes just as upturned and full of joy as they had been earlier. Perhaps now even more so.

The angel turned to search for Fulgrim, hoping to give him a gaze that asked whether or not this was a good thing.

When his eyes finally found his brother, though, he was already making his way out of the greenhouse. Shaking his head and indulging in some giggles of his own.

Solspina's Scribellum✎ (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧ ♡*.✧

@astrohymn @moodymisty @undeaddream

@lemon-russ @kit-williams @nereidof40k

@jackalwolfsoul @beckyninja @verylazykiwi

(please comment to be added/removed from my taglist !!)

[slasherslittlesimp]

Deeper Than The Darkest Depths (Twilight X M!Triton!Reader)

Part Two

Your still unconscious form lays across Sam's kitchen table, chest exposed and heavily bleeding, the blood seeping down your sides and onto the wood. Sam watches with a clenched jaw as Emily rushes about, gathering what few medical supplies they have in order to tend to your wounds.

As he watches her, he can't help but to mentally curse the Cullen's for disappearing. His wife isn't equipped for this type of stuff but Carlisle is. Despite hating them, Sam knows that your chances of healing would be greater with the leech treating you. Unfortunately, his only option is Emily who looks beyond stressed as she tries her best to clean the blood from your torso.

Bella stands on the other side of the kitchen, watching with wide eyes, looking a bit pale at the sight of all the blood painting your body crimson. She clings onto Jacobs arm, unable to look away even as Emily begins to stitch the jagged cuts closed. Her grip on Jacob's arm tightens even further as she swallows the lump in her throat. "Do you think it was him?" Her voice comes out in a shaky whisper.

"It's possible." Jacob shrugs. "They found him on the beach. It'd certainly line up with what you saw."

"If it was him..." Bella frowns as she thinks about it, the reality sinking in as she stares at the bleeding gashes across your chest. "Then that means he got hurt saving me. It's my fault he's bleeding out on Sam's table."

"It's not your fault." Sam immediately speaks up as he turns his gaze towards Bella. "He's the one that chose to help- if he's the one that saved you. And the injury is the leeches fault, nobody else's." He pauses, looking back towards you as his wife works diligently to stop the bleeding. His jaw clenches, his thoughts running a mile a minute as he looks over your human-like appearance while his thoughts conjure up the version of yourself that he first saw. "I need to make some calls."

Exiting the home, he strides a few yards away from the porch before pulling out his phone to call one of the elders. It rings a few times before the person on the other end finally answers- Billy. "What can I do for you?" The older man immediately questions, knowing that Sam wouldn't call unless it was important.

"I have a few questions that I'm hoping you have answers to." When Billy tells him to go on, he continues. "I came across something today that I've never seen before. It was a man unconscious on the beach, but he had the features of a fish- gills and all. Have you heard of anything like that?"

Billy sighs on the other end. "Not a whole lot. It's mostly just folk tales and speculations from the ancestors. Nothing to indicate if any of them actually saw anything like that. Let me grab one of the journals real quick."

The line goes silent for a few moments, leaving Sam to pace his yard as he waits not so patiently for him to come back. The second he hears Billy's breath on the other end he straightens up, giving his full attention to the older man. "Only one of the journals has ever mentioned creatures from the sea. It's one of the oldest journals from the original ancestors so the writings a bit faded but I can make out a good amount of it."

The sound of pages turning comes through the line before Billy continues. "There's a few different creatures listed, all of which come from water. A lot of the details are worn, but I think what you described might be a Triton. They're male sea gods or spirits, often depicted with a fish tail. That sound about right?"

"Yeah, that describes it pretty well." Sam nods along, remembering the form he first saw you in. You certainly did have the fish of a tail up until it was replaced with legs. "What else does it say?"

"Not much." Billy grumbles, clearly displeased at the lack of information. "Just that they're protectors of the sea and that they're stronger than the average human. Sorry, but that's about it."

"That's alright. Thanks for your help, Billy." Sam hangs up with a heavy sigh, running his hand tiredly over his face before turning to head back inside.

As he reenters the house, he finds his kitchen table cleared and clean, Emily just having finished wiping it free of your blood. "He's been moved to the couch for now." She explains to him. "It's a bit strange, though. Once I managed to get all the blood cleaned off of him, his injuries didn't seem all that bad. As if they had already started healing."

"Really?" Sam hums with interest as he peaks into the living room, spotting your still unconscious form spread across his couch, fresh bandages wrapped around your torso and a pair of his sweatpants covering your lower half.

"I had the boys move and change him." Emily comes up, standing next to her husband as she leans against him, him automatically wrapping an arm around her. "Any idea what you're going to do with him once he wakes up?"

"If he's not hostile, then hopefully I can ask him some questions. I called Billy but he couldn't tell me a whole lot. Guess none of the ancestors actually came across his kind before."

She hums with interest. "Well, I hope he wakes up soon. I'd love to be one of the first to know more about his kind."

Sam simply chuckles, turning his head to press a kiss to her hairline. "We'll see. If he's hostile when he wakes up then I don't want you anywhere near him. For now, we should get to bed. I'll have one of the boys keep an eye on him."

With that, the two of them head to bed, leaving the boys to take shifts watching over you. And first up is Paul.

[cherrribun]

may i request the first years with a merperson!reader? doesn't have to be yuu. i just want to see fishy interactions.

TWST First years x Merperson!Reader

literally at work while writing this prompt out lol. i love fish so much, i actually use to run a twt acct dedicated to daily fish facts!! this was a silly write, enjoy!

Characters: first years (again no ortho���)

TWS: none!

a/n: im sorry if i mischaracterized you, reader. tried shaking it ip a little qq

Ace Trappola

-ace, seven bless his heart, is so stupid

-he literally has zero inkling of a clue that you are any kind of merfolk at all

-he thinks youre simply strange, and to be fair, most merfolk are on land

-the way you suspiciously eye sushi or honestly any kind of regular lander food makes him question whether or not hes being poisoned

-he once saw you slipping out of the dorms to take a well needed break in some water, and watched you down a potion and slip right on into what you really look like

-yeah he gasped super loud and blew his cover immediately

-a nice little stare off ensued, in absolute silence

-after a second of silence he very loudly goes “oh my cod-GOD, i thought you were just like weird.”

-now this can go one of two ways

-if you laugh and let him have the biggest sigh of relief that you arent mad, he basically runs up to you. Hands on his knees looking at you like a dad inspecting car damage

-he's immediately inquiring about what its like, can he touch you, how are you breathing, do you like the tweels (theres a correct answer)

-he's absolutely geeked if you let him touch your tail, but freaks out and pulls away when he feels your slime coat

-and people say chivalry is dead

-if you continue to stare at him, he starts begging for forgiveness

-lol he's literally on his knees pleading for you to spare him. pleading for your “merm–MERCY!”

-give the guy a break, hes new to this

Deuce Spade

-deuce is physically immune to having a bad opinion

-because of how based he is, he loves your merperson-ness (??)

-you probably didn't try hiding it, i mean, this is. nrc. how would that do you any good

-and if you casually bring it up in conversation, deuce is definitely curious

-but because hes so strict on being a gentleman, he doesn't pry. its rude to do so!

-lord ace could take a page outta this kids book

-but he doesn't act like he doesn't know youre a merperson

-deuce is very considerate about it

-he refrains from eating fish infront of you, doesn't comment on when you’re grumbling about dumb lander rules

- you definitely pick up on this

-and you open up on your own terms, letting him gather information here and there about what kind of aquatic being you are, what your home grove is like, how dehydrated you are at all times

-he keeps a little notebook about all the people around him, and trust, youve got a bajillion pages dedicated to you alone

-he gets the hots for you the first time he sees you interact with other merfolk

-you seemed so natural with them, and far more relaxed. a huge smile on at all time while you made the cutest trilling noises, like you were deep under the blue

-yeah, hes making you the best possible bouquet of roses personally painted red and the coral you told him about from your home grove. what a sweetie

Jack Howl

-you bet your top dollar that when jack gets a crush on you, hes suddenly very interested in swimming

-he would ask you to join him for early morning swim sessions, encouraging you to join him for “one on one training”

-yeah yeah, he just wants to be with you

-hes got a mean face, but a heart of gold, everyone knows this

-after the dogman sees your absolutely intense swimming capacity, he begs you to join other sports

-if you accept, you have your own personal body guard 24/7

-if you dont, well damn, guess hes stickin to the water

-when you're on land, meandering about the savannaclaw dorms, let it be known jacks the first to ask you (dumbly) if its safe for you to be in the sun

-himbo jack who cheered

-after a laugh and reassurance you’re definitely okay, he lowkey still doesn't believe you

-congrats, he now constantly gives you water bottles and whatever food you like

-kelp? seaweed? sea grapes? dulse? hes got you covered

-if you're not very fond of landers, jacks got two big listening ears for your disposal

-though he may find complaints of ‘strange’ traditions a bit….conflicting

-what do you mean you dont understand the loosey goosey lander courting traditions? you're making your wolf bf sad, dont do that

Epel Felmeir

-lol epel is actually terrified

-the guy didnt even know you, and just so happened to make the mistake of walking too close to the shore of the island when he saw the biggest fishy eyes sticking out of the top of the water

-hes running for his life after that

-should he encounter you after the fact while on land, you snicker, asking him about strange beings in the ocean

-yeah he picked up on what you were putting down, he steered clear of you for a good while

-sucks that youre in his flight class, and alchemy class

-you keep teasing him about it until hes close to throwing fists about it (comment on his height and youre a goner)

-ensue vil threatening to kick him from the dorm so on and so forth till he begrudgingly agrees to ignore you

-but word gets around that he got in some shit for it, now you feel bad you jerk (ur not a jerk, reader, im just ur god rn)

-so you apologized to him in traditional merfolk fashion, with the best food you can make and plenty of pearls and shells in a nice little basket

-hes inclined to give you a chance when he sees the pearls, hes a big fan of them despite his insecurities

-it takes a long time for him to become your friend, let alone more, but with enough jewelry and even helping him with class (cheating), he starts to like you!

Sebek Zigvolt

-oh hes delighted to be with someone he views on the exact same level as him

-sebek being half human and half fae feels to be in a bit of an awkward spot between his fantastical heritage and his more mundae blood

-you’re just like him!!

-albeit a bit more aquatic

-outside of your aquatic self, sebek doesn't like water much. lilia enjoys taunting him for this fact, teasing the poor boy to hell and back while he stares at you with googoo eyes from the shore

-however, sebek adores watching you swim about, when not servicing maellus, he actively asks you to swim for him

-you're just so mesmerizing!

-he on a very rare occasion would join you, but not any sort of often. when he does though, he likes to test his endurance for swimming

-give him a run for his money, he’ll never admit it, but he loves the challenge, especially from someone deemed worthy

-when on land, you can find yourself being gifted stones

-pretty uncanny, huh?

-sebeks got a high loving for any non humans, and if you’re in the octavinelle dormitory, youve got a brand new regular in the lounge

-dont you dare tell anyone the mushy way he hands you each stone, looking aside, arm fully infront of him while he drops it into your palm with a little “this reminds me of you” (little is relative, this boy SHOUTS)

-stones turn to shells though,and if you gift him the large stones and shells you find under the water? hes got a curio cabinet full of each one on careful display

[mimasroom2]

Love on top! ✧～(ゝᴗ ∂ )

Dealer!ellie x reader @ the mall

I’ve been thinking ab how Ellie would be a dealer and has some extra money to spoil her princess ♡

C/w: Not really any? Homophobia mentioned in like one sentence. Kinda suggestive but no smut. Sex toy mentioned like once. Marijuana mentioned like once (at the end). DINA MENTION FUCK YEAHHHH!!!!

W/c: 1k. sorry i just have a lot of thoughts😭

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

- Dealer!ellie who takes you to the mall whenever she feels like it. You never ask because you feel bad for her always spending money on you, but she lovesssssssss to do it.

- She would def buy you guys matching stuff.

- “Holy shit y/n… look at these!” Ellie turns around and has matching Sanrio plushies in both hands. You laugh bc she has them raised like how straight men pose with the fish they catch😭

- “Which one do you want, baby?”

- You pretend to think even though your absolute fav is cinnamoroll.

- She pumps a fist in the air, “FUCK YEAH I wanted pompompurin anyway!”

- She’d walk into any store and buy you guys those goofy ass tshirts that say shit like “I ♡ hot moms” because she gets a kick out of it every time.

- Don’t even get me started on how she’d be in Victoria’s Secret…

- She’d walk behind you with her hands in her pockets, biting her lip as you pick up the most absurdly hot set of bra & panties she’s ever seen.

- When you wanted to try everything on, she’d slip into the dressing room with you so you can have your turn spoiling her by giving her a little show

(˶ > ₃ < ˶)♡

- “Turn ‘round f’me, doll.” You always love how slurred her words get when she’s turned on 🙃 You do what you’re told and do a little twirl. She blushes and grabs your waist from behind, kissing your neck as you giggle looking at the two of you in the mirror.

- “Shit, baby. Gon’ have to buy this all for you so you can waltz around in pretty lingerie all the time.”

- As the two of you leave, she discreetly whispers in your ear “Gonna have to try those panties on for me tonight, mkay?”

- You’d wander into pandora or some fancy jewelry store and she’d be eyeing all the things you look at.

- “Ohmygodddd Ellieeeeee look at how beautiful this necklace is ahhhh!!” You squeal and eagerly point at it.

- “Hey babe, can you get us some auntie annes please?” Ellie smiles at you, “Need me some lemonade from how hot it is today.”

- As you walk away she stealthily buys the necklace you wanted :3. Chatting it up with the salesman n shit, bragging about you and how amazing of a girlfriend you are.

- She’s not afraid to do this bc she knows any homophobia she encounters she can shut down super quick. Perks of being hot and cool😍

- When you finally meet back up with her you’re smiling about the yummy pretzels you got, but your jaw drops when you see the pandora logo bag in her hand.

- You run over to her, “whattttt the fuckkkk Ellie? :0?”

- “Saw my pretty girl looking at it, so I jus’ had to see my pretty girl wearing it.” Is all she has to say in response (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

- You gasp as she takes it out of the box, “For me?,!?,?,?!! Els, I told you, I don’t need any fancy stuff.”

- “Jus’ accept it, y/n. I like seein’ my princess happy.” She smiles as she puts it on for you :3

- You both sit down and DEVOUR those damn pretzels.

- (I’ve had this song stuck in my head the entire time writing this) The song Love On Top by Beyoncé starts playing, Ellie flashes you a wicked grin and takes your hands to stand the two of you up. The part that goes “You’re the one I love! You’re the one I need!” plays and she starts jumping around, moving your arms and giggling, not afraid to act like a goofball as long as it’s with you :,)

- If she saw anyone checking you out she’d tap her lips and say “cmere angel.” And give you a cute lil peck >:)

- You guys would walk into Spencer’s, give each other an evil look, and IMMEDIATELY run straight to the back.

- “Holy shit, babe there’s a fucking glow in the dark didlo.” You pretend to have your jaw drop as you wave Ellie over.

- She starts laughing wayyyyy harder than she should, “Whattthefuckkk that’s actually so fuckignfunny BAHAHAHA!”

- “Ellie it’s literally not that funny.” You’re not impressed.

- She gasps, trying to catch her breath, “No nonono no cuz imagine I’m fuckin’ you real good in the middle of the night. All the lights are off. And all you see is this damn glowing dick! Mannnn fuck.” You swear she wipes actual tears from her eyes.

- “Holy shit, do you think it would light up inside you?”

- You smack her on the shoulder 😭

- “Kay… that’s enough of Spencer’s…” you drag her by the hand out of there.

- “One more place I wanna go..” you keep dragging her by the hand.

- “Good.. cuz the malls ‘boutta close, princess.”

- Ellie smirks and scoffs as you guys walk into Claire’s. “Gonna get your clit pierced here or somethin’?”

- You go up to those merry-go-round display things and spin it until you find what you were looking for. “Nah, wanted one of these bad boys for Dina n I.” You show her one of those broken heart necklaces that come together to say best friends. She lets you pay for this one.

- At the end of your day Ellie walks the two of you out into the parking garage. It’s dark, so she pulls her hood up and hunches over to make herself appear more masculine. Not that it’s that dangerous or anything, but she’d probably never forgive herself if something happened to you - even the smallest scratch.

- As Ellie gets into her car, a SEXY ass truck might I add, she hands you a joint so you can relax as she drives you guys home ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

[missshirophantom]

From the author : hello everyone! A few days later, but I'm done with this part. It took me a while... And I wrote twice as much as I originally planned. But since the part itself was thought out in terms of what was going to happen, I did not dare to divide it into two parts. This work was written based on my yandere Seb post. Have a nice read.

English is not my native language, I apologize for the mistakes.

Warnings : g/n reader, description of violence, description of injury, hint of harassment (but that's in the past), mention of strangulation, possessive behavior, paranoia, kidnapping.

Number of words : 6 593

There you are

So much has happened in the last months of your life that you're almost sure you're in some kind of B-movie of whatever genre.

Being accused of a violent crime that you didn't commit, disappointing your family and loved ones, being sent to prison, and then strange people coming promising release for a "small favor." All you have to do is get a certain crystal for them, avoiding unknown threats and return back with an undamaged object.

It sounds pretty easy and the reward is pretty tempting, right?

Even though you knew that your family was disappointed in you and rejected you right in the courtroom, you still wanted to return to them. To prove to them that this crime was committed not by you, but by someone else. Although it did not occur to you that there is no evidence of your innocence anymore, and your family has been inspired with blatant lies about you. So much so that it is impossible to convince them, despite all the warm relations in the past.

But you are young. Naive and just enrolled in a prestigious college, how do you know how bad and terrible things can be in the world? Only from those romanticized series.

But now... This is your reality. Your life, which you absolutely did not want. You would be glad to forget this beginning horror, but you can't. Every time you opened your eyes and saw the wall of your cell, reality crashed down on you like cold water in the middle of a dream.

So... Yes, you had good reasons to accept a strange offer from the same strange people.

All in order to get back to the family. Or at least to your usual, normal life.

You exhaled softly and shifted a little on the hard, spring-loaded mattress before closing your eyes and taking a little nap before going on a mission with the other prisoners.

* * *

You are very sorry that you agreed to this.

Your thoughts were spinning wildly in your head as you struggled to breathe, cowering in the closet and holding the doors tightly so that the creature could not open them and pull you out.

You squeezed your eyes shut when the ugly and distorted face of the fish continued to scream at you when it sees you through the small cracks in the door.

Time seemed to freeze under this terrible scream in your ears, and your hands began to hurt when you used all your strength to hold the doors in place. But after a while, that scream died down, as did the attack on the closet where you hid on pure instincts.

You didn't immediately understand when it was finally over, and even if you did, you would have sat there for some time, trembling all over and gasping for air. Tears of fear threatened to spill from your eyes, but you held them back, biting your lip and suppressing a quiet sob.

You weren't exactly sure which room you were in, which door you went through, hell, even how much time had passed when you got out of that damn submarine. About the threats, you thought that these were ordinary security systems in the face of the same turrets... Although they were controlled by some kind of reasonable AI.

But damn it, these people weren't talking about real monsters!

At first, some people are statues pretending to be walls and sneaking after a person to eat them later. Then there are a bunch of strange creatures making loud noises, breaking the lamps in the room, which are rushing like crazy. And one of them is actually trying to get you out of the locker. Or a creature with tentacles that hides in the closet itself, waiting for an inattentive prisoner.

Although the worst monsters you met were: a creature behind a fake door, a giant fish with a bunch of eyes and a creature trying to get you out of the closet.

If it weren't for the "kind" prisoners you met along the way and not trying to kill you, steal your collected research and food, or do something much worse, then you wouldn't know anything about these monsters at all.

However, you still had to give away some of the precious food, even if it was granola bars. And the collected research, although you didn't fully understand why they were needed. But the information was more valuable than the food and the data that can be found before you die unknowingly.

The statue people were Wall Drawers and would sneak up on the man from behind to then eat him. All I had to do was turn around and listen often.

And the bunch of creatures that fly like mad across the room were Angler, Blitz. There were also three, but you did not encounter them. The creature that's trying to get you out of the locker is Pandemonium. Good People is that monster from the fake door. Eyefestation is that giant fish with a bunch of eyes.

One of the prisoners who was in a small group kindly told you about them and how to deal with them. It was quite useful, even if you mourned a little for the loss of food and some research, even if they were useless.

However, it was a pity about the latter after you learned from the words of other prisoners that you were not here for the first time (which is surprising for you) and that somewhere here there is a small store where you can buy a first-aid kit with batteries and other things, and the payment is just for these studies.

You didn't even have to sacrifice anything, because there was a newcomer among those prisoners and they told him about a certain intelligent being who runs this store and calls himself Sebastian. Of course, you didn't really understand anything, but you took note of this useful information.

Although you are still worried about the further words of the prisoners about how scary and rude this seller is. The saboteur, as they also call him. There was also a rumor that he was the one who organized the pogrom on this huge base under water.

Although you thought more that this was just a typical way of bullying the elders over the younger ones, exaggerating or inventing what is not there. Although... Considering the whole situation, perhaps the prisoners were not exaggerating.

After that, quite a lot of events happened, so you forgot about a certain store and a mysterious seller in time.

Especially when you have just experienced the 5th meeting with Pandemonium.

After that, you still wonder how you miraculously survived. Especially when Pandemonium was quite persistent, chasing you through every room.

You carefully opened the closet door, finally getting out of it when you started to feel a little claustrophobic. Your legs could barely hold you up, so you just sat on the floor, catching your breath and trying to somehow regain your strength.

You couldn't help but look around for a threat every couple of minutes and hold your breath, listening. It was pretty quiet, which should have been relaxing somehow, but it's completely wrong. It feels like there will be an even stronger storm after such a strong lull.

You are not exactly sure that there will be something much scarier than Pandemonium and a fish with a bunch of eyes.

I have no other way out. You exhaled softly, took off your helmet for a short time to quickly eat a small granola bar that you found next to the gnawed body of one of the prisoners when you avoided meeting with Wall Drawers the day before. You refused to admit the idea that you might end up in this prisoner's place if you weren't vigilant enough.

A skeleton in a uniform and diving equipment lying in the middle of the room.

You barely swallowed a piece of a hard and dry bar, ignoring the nausea caused by hunger and the horror of memories, and struggled to stand on trembling legs. You held on to the locker, feeling a little dizzy, and after standing there for a while, you started walking again. Even if it's not as fast as at the beginning, but with the maximum vigilance that you have, despite the lack of at least some sleep over these days (and maybe weeks... Your sense of time is blunted, and the clock is almost not there), hunger and a generally exhausted state.

You looked through every desk and staff lockers in search of data and useful items, by type of flashlight and flash. Maybe you will be lucky and there will be something to eat, except for granola bars, which are not so healthy. Or a bottle of water that didn't have time to spoil.

However, you have been very unlucky lately. Either because other prisoners who took everything managed to walk here before you, or there is simply nothing here... Or here it is in a slightly different case. Who knows.

In any case, it upset you, especially when your condition worsened every day, that at any moment you simply would not be able to walk. Or worse, but you preferred not to think about it.

You were almost absently examining tables, cabinets and shelves, passing through each door, trying to save energy for running.

It must have all played a role that you almost missed another couple of steps behind you. If it weren't for your instincts flaring up, you wouldn't have noticed Wall Drawers literally a meter away from you. You instantly turned around, looking at the creature with barely concealed alarm and hurriedly walking backwards, groping for the door to the next room.

However, the day could have been even worse, because you got on a fake door, too focused on Wall Drawers to hear breathing outside the door.

In the next second, a scream was heard and you fell to the floor, clutching your injured hand, while Good People mistakenly grabbed Wall Drawers instead of you. Although before that, I managed to cripple your leading hand. Not much, but being in the current situation, it causes great inconvenience.

You didn't fully realize what happened in just a second, but Wall Drawers must have managed to grab your hand and take a bite before you jumped back and Good People managed to accidentally grab them instead of you.

What a stroke of luck.

You couldn't hold back a quiet sob and whimper, clutching the wound on your arm. You saw a dark red, almost viscous liquid flowing out between your fingers, staining your uniform and dripping onto the floor. Pursing your lips and holding your breath, you carefully removed your palm and restrained yourself from crying out how terrible the wound was.

You hastily returned the gaze, trying not to look at the wound a second time and rummaged in your bag, trying to find at least something that will help you to bandage the wound for the first time.

There was nothing useful, because you couldn't find a first-aid kit the whole way, so you had to tear off the rest of the sleeve and bandage the wound. It turned out to be a very clumsy bandage made with one hand. In theory, you should have made another small bandage over your head so that the arm would remain motionless and not get in the way too much, but there just wasn't enough fabric for that.

You barely ignored the terrible pain in your arm, which seemed to pierce to the very bones (which is not entirely far from the truth), and barely got up from the floor, trying to come up with a plan of action.

You definitely really need a first aid kit. And to have a needle and thread in it, because the wound looked like something that needed to be sewn up. And even if you didn't go to the doctor and didn't touch on such medical topics in any way, but something had to be done. Even if you end up relying on the movie. What can't be done, but there is no other choice.

Hissing softly through your teeth, you continued walking, holding your hand and trying to be more attentive when you were injured and bleeding. You weren't exactly sure, but you had an idea that the smell of blood might attract someone from these many creatures. You prayed very much that if you were noticed, you would have had a first-aid kit by that time. I don't care about a safe place, the main thing is to take care of the wound, through which some infection can get.

After about a few doors behind, you suddenly heard a voice from which you yourself stopped for no reason. You hurriedly looked around, pressing your back against the nearest closet, thinking that either this was a hallucination, or a group of prisoners whom you needed to avoid more than anything, because not all of them are kind. Especially when you are injured and clearly in a pretty deplorable state.

There was a short silence in which you listened intently, then the voice sounded again. You may not have been able to make out the words completely, but judging by the tone of the threat, there was no threat.

Involuntarily, I flashed memories of those prisoners who talked among themselves about the store here, where you could buy from simple batteries for a flashlight to a first-aid kit. This involuntarily filled your heart with a little hope, although your instincts literally screamed over and over again that it was better not to go anywhere, because danger was possible.

But you didn't pay much attention to it, especially when everything hurt and the blood continued to flow. You needed this first-aid kit, if you have to go through danger for it, then it was worth it. At least you won't die so soon because of this.

Despite the fact that due to blood loss, you barely understood the words, but walked towards the voice, which led you to a small vent. Frowning weakly, you sat on your knees and tried to figure out how to crawl through it carefully so as to disturb your hand as little as possible. After sitting there for a few seconds, you were startled when the lamps blinked several times, which foreshadowed the appearance of one of the fish creatures flying across the room. This caused your sluggish body to move and you hurriedly crawled into the ventilation. The voice trailed off, which scared you a little, but you're sure you heard it here.

You were breathing heavily when you crawled through the vent and stopped briefly when you got out of it.

— Welcome! Welcome, newcomer, — the voice sounded literally above you. It was a little unexpected for you, which made you start and raise your head.

It was... The creature is humanoid. More precisely, you somehow don't want to name another being, especially when he spoke. Despite what he was about... More than 10 meters? It is quite difficult to determine when his long sea snake tail curled up a little in this almost small room, which made it seem smaller than it was.

His skin (or is it already scales?) She was light blue, had short black hair that was tousled. The facial features were sharp, with fins instead of ears... A fish mouth? Although, considering that he has an anglerfish esque, a third arm and a third eye, this is a much less strange sight, especially in a place like this.

The man was wearing a dark brown jacket, a white shirt with a frill. Your gaze involuntarily caught on the holster with a shotgun on his belt and a small bag. You also noticed that there was some kind of strange bulky device on his back, but don't know what it is. Your gaze turns away again and gets stuck on the medicine cabinet in one of the many bags on his long tail.

Ah.

This must be the same store with a certain saboteur.

You flinched when the other intentionally coughed loudly into your hand, and then you were embarrassed by his words:

— Have you enjoyed the view enough?

— Uh, excuse me... Hello, — you squirm a little, involuntarily squeezing your injured hand harder, remembering politeness.

Although what kind of simple politeness is worth talking about in a place like this? But you're a good person.

— Well... Ahem, welcome to my store. You may have already heard about me, but don't believe these stupid rumors, my friend. You can call me Sebastian. You can buy items here for the research that you managed to collect before coming here. They are useless to you, but they will be much more useful to me, — the salesman says matter—of-factly and even a little sarcastically, putting two hands together, clearly not caring that you were literally dying of blood loss in front of his eyes.

Strangely, you don't feel anything from this realization. Indifference is somehow better than those who take advantage of such a position in the terrible sense of the word. You shuddered a little from the memories and gathering your thoughts in a bunch, you asked:

— How much do you have a first aid kit for?..

— 200 studies, — the other immediately replied, somehow cunningly twisting the edges of his mouth.

You look down, groping for your bag and open it to get the right amount. In your opinion, the price was not very high, but within reasonable limits. It's better than buying a first aid kit from other prisoners for their heavenly prices. After transferring the required amount of research into Sebastian's clawed hand, you waited a little while for him to nod, count, and silently take the first-aid kit from his bag.

You carefully opened it, checking the contents and relax a little, seeing what you needed. After closing the first-aid kit and putting away her bag, you nod to the other, muttering softly "thank you" and go back to the ventilation.

— If it makes you feel better, there is a small office space nearby where you can close. The lock is intact there, so you'll know right away.

You were startled by the suddenness and involuntarily looked back at the seller, whose voice sounded... Strange. It was also mocking and indifferent, but something was wrong that made your instincts alert. But the fish-man looked quite normal, mockingly narrowing his inhuman blue eyes and grinning from the corners of his mouth.

— How much?..

— What? — you can see how he obviously feigned incomprehension tilted his head to the side, blinking slowly.

— For the information.

— Ah. Consider it free, — he almost growled the last word through razor—sharp teeth, frowning.

You look at him doubtfully for a few seconds and reopened the bag, taking out 100 studies and putting them on the nearest iron box and this time hurriedly leaving through the ventilation, muttering "thank you" out of habit. There was only stunned silence in response, but you didn't care. You didn't want to get into trouble, especially with a newfound acquaintance for a "free" thing.

Sebastian wasn't lying, and literally across the hall was the very office space that you recognized due to the whole lock, thanks to which you could close the door.

It was... It's such a relief that you could finally just close the door behind you and relax a little. As long as you don't make any noise, no one will try to break in.

Maybe after you took care of the wound, you could get some sleep.

Under the office desk in the corner and in the shade, so that in case of anything you would not be noticed.

* * *

You barely opened your eyes and did not immediately realize where you were, but then the memories reached you, from which you exhaled and squeezed your eyes shut, throwing your head back.

You successfully sewed up the wound, even though it was terribly hard and you lost consciousness several times due to the hellish pain and blood loss. But fortunately you coped in the end and hardly remembered how you bandaged your arm.

Although...

When you open your eyes and turn your head to the side, you see how your helmet was lying next to you on the floor. Even with a small crack in the glass, which definitely wasn't there. But you must have missed it when you were attacked by Good People.

You can't remember when you managed to take off your helmet before you fell asleep under the table. But you were too tired, so you didn't think much about it. Moreover, things were more important now.

With such a wound, you definitely couldn't keep moving. At least until the pain is less and signs of healing are visible. So you will definitely have to stay in this area for a few days.

Which leads to another task.

You frown weakly, carefully sitting down and pulling your bag towards you, rummaging through numerous secret pockets, pulling out all the food and water supplies to calculate how much is left and how much more is needed.

It is quite poor, without taking into account the fact that there used to be more and you gave this part to the prisoners for information about this place.

A few dry and hard granola bars, a liter bottle of water, and by some miracle a canned food with sprats was found. Which you hate. And you also don't have a can opener.

There will be no problem with water. There was a half-filled cooler in this office room, which is enough for these days and you won't die of dehydration, but here's the food... Considering your current condition, you definitely needed something better than muesli and canned sprats. Moreover, this will be enough for two days at most.

So you definitely need to go out and explore this part of the territory in search of food.

You frown a little at this thought, upset, because the risk of bumping into someone is high. And especially when there was a store nearby, the risk of meeting prisoners is higher than usual.

— Damn, what a disgusting day, — you involuntarily swear under your breath, putting things back into the hidden pockets of the bag and clumsily get up.

Which you immediately regretted, because you almost fell back to the floor, barely managing to grab an office chair.

Okay, you definitely need to just sit for one day to start at least thinking about going somewhere.

You swore under your breath, sitting down in an office chair with irritation and leaning back, staring at the ceiling.

You sat there for an unknown amount of time before falling asleep, which was not very good for your back. Although when you woke up, you felt better and could finally stand. After quickly eating a granola bar and drinking water, you put your helmet back on and carefully opened the door, listening.

It was quiet, which disturbed you, but you couldn't do anything about it and quietly left the room, closing the door behind you. Looking around and listening all the time, you came across a door, behind which there was something like a dining room and a kitchen.

This cheered you up a little and you began to inspect the room, collecting research on the machine. When you reached the kitchen and examined the drawers, you found a slightly bent can opener and another tin can. But thank God not with sprats, but with corn. Pretty good, if a little unhealthy.

In addition, you found already moldy bread and already rotten fruits on the table, the smell of which made your stomach shrink a little and you hurriedly moved away from them.

In general, you were able to find some food in the face of canned corn and some miraculously preserved sausage in the refrigerator. You considered this a victory.

You hummed softly to yourself when you put the food in your bag, deciding to eat the sausage first, which spoiled faster, and also so as not to get soaked in its smell and not run into trouble with people with excellent nose. You definitely don't intend to fight giant prisoners over sausage in your current state.

* * *

You are not sure exactly how many hours have passed since you stopped in the office room. It was a bit of a blur for you, because all you had time to do was explore the nearest rooms, come to eat and fall asleep. And you also looked into the store again to buy a Flash Beacon from Sebastian, a couple of batteries and again a first-aid kit. You spent all your accumulated research, but you didn't regret it.

After all, you still managed to get an infection.

And instead of staying and getting cured like a normal person, you decided that this was the perfect time to continue on your way. And you had your reasons. First, here, next to Sebastian's store, there is a high risk of running into a crazy prisoner or even a group. Which is very bad in your position. Secondly, there is a risk that you will not be able to cure the infection and eventually you will die. Third, you had some kind of unpleasant feeling in the back of your head that you were being watched and something in you said that you should leave as soon as possible.

It was a little sad, because the store clerk was a bit of an interesting conversationalist. When he's not trying to humiliate you at every opportunity, of course. And when this dialogue lasted at least a minute during your next two visits. One because of the strange sound of a gunshot, and the other because of shopping. But for you, it was a little breath of fresh air, after a long conversation with criminals in prison, as well as small skirmishes with them here. And monsters...

You involuntarily recalled your conversation with Sebastian when you bought a first-aid kit and other items. And it ended up being pretty... An unpleasant note.

— Ah, do you intend to go further? With such a wound? — He asked casually, bowing his head and propping it up with one of his hands, looking at you.

You shrugged a little, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, almost studying. Mentally, you reminded yourself that you were wearing a helmet, so he could not know about your appearance, which was well preserved under all the disgusting conditions. To your confusion.

— Yes... Uh, I feel much better. So I won't dare linger here, — you lied a little, grateful in secret that your face was not visible, and your voice was indifferent enough to betray the truth.

You looked up, catching the man's skeptical look before he rolled his eyes.

— Then don't you dare let Wall Drawers bite your hand off again, — he almost growled softly, strangely squeezing his hands tighter.

— What? — you blinked, thinking you misheard.

— I say, come into my store again, you idiot, — he said with a grin and louder, narrowing his eyes maliciously, — or are you deaf?

You pressed your lips together in silence, looking away from Sebastian, saying nothing.

It was at this moment that you heard a noise in the ventilation that made you freeze. The next second, a prisoner who was clearly passing by got out of the ventilation.

You pressed yourself imperceptibly against the wall, silently praying that you would not be noticed immediately and that you would have time to leave before you ran into trouble. And before anyone thought you were a coward, you had strong justifications for behaving that way, especially with other people.

You barely noticed the faint curiosity in Sebastian's gaze before he spoke in his usual sarcastic voice:

— Welcome, friend.

You heard a contemptuous snort from the prisoner before he came over to get the batteries, casually throwing the research. Before you had time to realize that you need to leave unnoticed through the ventilation, you suddenly recognized this person.

Oh shit, the universe really "loves" you, right?

— Who do I see? Is that really our rat, huh?

You flinched when you stopped near the vent.

— Are you completely deaf? You weren't taught to greet your friends, were you? — There was a little anger in the gruff voice.

You curled your lips, but remained silent, turning your head towards the other person. The tall man looked down at you with disgusting amusement.

— What do you want, Chris? — You answered with difficulty in an indifferent voice.

— Why such coldness, huh? Did you really forget your cellmate, huh? — the criminal giggled, smiling broadly and showing his crooked teeth.

— We weren't cellmates, — you corrected coldly.

The other person's face twisted at your tone, clearly not expecting this.

— What, the eggs of the industry during your stay here? Decided to show your teeth, rat?! Have you forgotten who's in charge here? — The prisoner growled through his teeth, clearly restraining himself from running into you with his fists.

You frowned a little, but it was not visible because of the helmet.

How did he even recognize you with the helmet and uniform? Maybe he saw you putting on a helmet at the beginning of the journey? Or how was it given to you along with the uniform?

Although it doesn't really have to do with when to leave. You didn't really want to piss Sebastian off because of that arrogant jerk, even if it wasn't your fault.

It is strange that now you did not feel fear of this prisoner, who spoiled your life, as you were put in prison. So much so that the prison authorities had to put you and him in different cells after his attempt to strangle you in the dining room.

Although it is strange that you two were resettled and you received a solitary cell, because other prisoners, despite all the conflicts, were not resettled... But somehow you didn't think much about it.

You probably didn't think he was particularly scary right now after encountering monsters here. Or you were just tired under the influence of a found painkiller and an increasing infection, despite the fact that the wound was intact and there were no signs of rotting.

Whatever it was, you knew for sure that you had to leave.

— If you want to start a fight, it's not right in the store, — you said indifferently.

Well, you didn't want to inconvenience Sebastian yet, even if he didn't care about what was going on in front of him. But you knew Chris, and you knew what he could do when he was angry. If he accidentally destroyed something here, you didn't know how the seller would react.

But with the condition that during the last meeting you heard a shot here...

It's better not to think about it.

— Ha! Do you still dare to tell me what to do? Have you already made friends with this monster? — the prisoner replied with a laugh, putting his hand on the handle of the Flash Beacon, — you haven't changed at all, you always take care of others. That's why they put you in jail, you stupid rat.

The unpleasant feeling in the back of your head has intensified, which is why your hair has lifted a little there. The developed sense of self-preservation during his stay in prison confirmed that something very unpleasant was about to happen.

And let nothing happen to you, thanks to the dark glass on the helmet that protects you from bright light, but here is Sebastian with his unusual anatomy...

And even if you don't know him, but as a good person, you didn't want him to be hurt and others too. Just like that, even if you didn't feel anything special about him.

You just opened your mouth to stop him, but you didn't have time because at the same second he pulled out a Flash Beacon and pulled the trigger.

In those few seconds, several things happened and a loud sound sounded.

When the lights went out, you saw that the Flash Beacon was lying on the floor, literally broken into splinters, and the prisoner was coughing, clutching at his throat.

— Don't do that again.

You flinched at the absolute fury in Sebastian's voice and raised your head. His mouth was folded as if he was growling and ready to bite at any second, and his eyes were heavily squinted, betraying the degree of rage and slight blindness due to the bright flash.

You swallowed nervously and hurriedly crawled into the ventilation, muttering quiet apologies.

After that, you spent another day locked in the office room, as you waited for your "good friend" to leave either forward or backward. And you didn't know yet how Sebastian would react if he saw or heard you. You may not have cared about it, but you didn't want a bad relationship with the seller of important items.

Stupid people who make him angry. It's going to go sideways for them.

You squirm a little in place and then get up when you put everything in a bag and hung the weapon on your belt to grab it faster. Although Flash Beacon is not really a weapon, but it can blind anyone for a few seconds.

You stood in place for a while to let the dizziness go away and finally left the room with a quiet but fast step. It was a little hard, because there were no pills in the medicine cabinet, and a slight fever had been holding for the second day. But it was bearable enough to continue on the way.

Although you had some very unpleasant feeling in your heart.

* * *

You've. Made. A. Mistake.

Not only did you start to feel much worse, barely thinking because of the rising temperature, but you also stumbled upon Chris.

And even if there was no direct meeting, because you quickly hid so that you would not be noticed, it was still dangerous.

You could hardly restrain yourself from cursing as you crawled behind the tables to get to the open but broken door, hearing curses from that prisoner and those people who were with him. You tried to ignore his words, because they were very unpleasant, especially when they referred specifically to you. More accurately... They are vulgar and in a rather unpleasant way that makes you frankly sick, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

You stopped for a moment when your head started spinning again, and black dots appeared in front of your eyes for a moment.

It was at this moment that the universe decided that your situation was quite deplorable, so everything went fine.

You were able to crawl out that door and get up as quietly as possible and also quietly hurried away. As you passed through each door and room, you quickened your pace. At the same time, your breathing accelerated, and your lungs ached quite a bit. However, you tried not to pay attention to it, continuing to walk and hastily looking through tables, drawers and cabinets, almost casually stuffing what you found into a bag.

You went through the next door at number 89 and got stuck a little bit, because you had to find the key card. You did not intend to use a code cracker, believing that it would be useful in a critical situation.

You were weakly looking through tables and drawers, wondering how many more doors and rooms you have to go through before you finally get to the crystal. The optimistic part said there wasn't much left, while the realistic part said there wasn't yet. It's not enough to get the crystal, you still need to go back... In such a weak state.

You made a little face thinking about it when you got up from your knees to look through the cabinets. At the same moment, you felt the floor move away from under your feet, and a gust of wind hit your face.

You blinked dazedly, not immediately realizing with your sick brain what had happened before a damp cloth was pressed to your nose and mouth. This caused your body to twitch instantly, which is why whoever grabbed you and held you at a height had to make efforts so that you would not slip out of their grasp.

You barely heard the grumbling above your head, too panicked to understand the words.

The sweet smell of the liquid on the cloth penetrated your airways as you twitched, writhing in the hands of the invader. It didn't do much and you weren't sure what kind of liquid it was, but you weren't intending to let it have any effect on you. You gripped the invader's hand tightly, which pressed a rag to your mouth, and with the other clumsily hit the obviously large body behind you until your hand weakened and fell on the object on your belt. You immediately grabbed and pulled it out, pointing it back and pulled the trigger.

At the same moment, there was a scream and you fell to the floor. You didn't have time to look around and rushed forward, coughing and gasping for air, clutching the handle of the Flash Beacon tightly.

— You little shit!!..

The voice was very loud and full of anger, but you didn't dare stop, even when it seemed familiar to your brain.

You heard a crash behind you as you ran across the room, skirting tables and deliberately knocking over chairs to slow down the attacker, which was a bit effective, judging by the wave of curses and curses, as well as the subsequent cracking sound. Your heart was pounding wildly, which hardly made you hear anything while you were running in a panic.

When the door, the exit, literally appeared in front of you and almost instantly took out a code cracker, pressing it against the panel with a trembling hand. You were breathing hoarsely, barely holding back a startled sob due to the noise and growling from behind, while the panel was making beeping sounds.

A second later, a small squeak was heard, indicating a hacking error.

From this sound, everything inside you froze, as well as all the noise around.

As if in a fog, you raised your head uncomprehendingly, almost desperately looking at the screen with the number of the next room. But instead of numbers, you saw a sad smiley face, as if sympathizing with your situation.

The last thing you saw after that was how a big shadow covered you, a sweet smell mixed with a strong smell of tobacco penetrated your nose before you lost consciousness.

[worldly-fluster]

The LADS boys...when you go 'missing'???

(angst with some comedy cause it's fun)

So the plot is: you get tired of being near people, get overwhelmed and overstimulated so you need a bit to yourself...well you forgot to tell a certain someone you went MIA. He...panics? I don't think that's the right word for what he does.

Sylus(featuring the twins), Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel

ALSO-None of you are dating yet in any of these I write. Unless I specifically say so anyway. Lil note at bottom too lol

Sylus-

•So. He is definitely not panicking.

•He sooo knows where you are.

•He tells himself anyway.

•Only to realize that you weren't where he thought you were.

•You were supposed to be at one of his bunkers- your favorite bunker that he has in his possession. He even saw you go in there!

•But you aren't there?!

•The only way you could have left his/Mephisto's sight was if you literally disappeared. Like, poof Lola's gone.

•He looked everywhere in that place for you but he couldn't find a clue so he branched out.

•Poor Mephisto...his poor little wings, having to fly around like a, well, Chicken with its head cut off.

•It was actually a whole TWO days until he remembered that the twins existed and he could get their help.

•They were gone too??

•So, time skip until almost a week- 5 days, 8 hours and 37 seconds on the dot- he wasn't counting- go by and he gets a call from the twins.

•Apparently, they walked in on you having a breakdown and when you asked them for help to get you away from everything for a bit, they couldn't say 'no'.

•And all three of you completely forgot to tell the big boss man. Actually legitimately did forget.

•The twins were panicking about your well-being that they forgot about Sylus until you said you were okay enough to go back.

•lets just say, he was not pleased.

•All three of you- more like the twins only, he couldn't stay mad at you- were 'grounded' until he said so.

Xavier-

•He didn't really think much of you being gone at first, he just figured Jenna sent you on another mission by yourself again. The third time that week.

•Yeah he was worried, but he only got really worried when he asked Tara about it and she said you went on leave.

•He almost immediately signed for his own leave.

•He tried calling, texting, everything. But you didn't answer so he thought the worst.

•Where was his little teddy bear?

•he tried your apartment- he teleported into it and no it wasn't trespassing, he was checking on a friend. What do you take him for? A criminal??

•he tried all your favorite shops, cafe's and even asked Zayne, your doctor, whom had no idea about this but we'll get to his reaction later.

•it was barely two days until he found you.

•at a cat Cafe/bed and breakfast that you told him about in passing a few weeks before.

•He remembered it only because he remembered you were wearing that cute little blue blouse he got you for your birthday a month ago while telling him and he saw someone wearing something similar to it while he was pani-sorry, calmly looking for you.

•Oh he pouted.

•he whined.

•he almost cried.

•so a few head pats and apologies later he was docile and telling you not to do that again, without him anyway.

•he didn't think to ask Jenna about your whereabouts, she knew where you were going the whole time.

Zayne-

•He only realized something was wrong when Xavier popped in asking where you were. Saying he couldn't find you.

•Zayne thinking rationally, first tried to contact you.

•because who would ever ignore their doctor?

•...wait no, you have done that.

•Panic.

•has his own mental breakdown for a few minutes then immediately goes home because life is too much and he needs a bit.

•...why did he find you cuddled in his bed with all the plushies you have given him.

•you're gonna be the death of him, he swears.

Rafayel-

•He noticed immediately.

•boy texts you every other minute because he's bored. Wether it's a meme of a fish or about how sharks eat for free. In this economy?? He thinks not.

•so when you don't text back the normal 'k' within 2 minutes, he calls Thomas to inform him that the assassin sea urchins finally got you and are now after him.

•on a serious note, he is ✨ panicking ✨

•you are officially 'missing' for about a day and a half when he finally gets a message back from you.

•he ignores all messages and calls from you until he sees you in person.

•acts like he doesn't know you but then his act quickly falls apart as he starts whining about it being more than 800 years and something about the assassin urchins being back, crabs wanting vengeance and how barnacles are the new currency of the new age.

•Just text him next time you want a long vacation from everything. He knows the best spots.

##So I might actually write out these things at some point when my brain starts working correctly, who knows when that will happen lol##

[ckret2]

Chapter 39 of human Bill Cipher is SURE he's about to escape being the Mystery Shack's prisoner:

Ford's confronted with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he's a little bit too obsessed with Bill.

And meanwhile, Bill has found a way to reach his loyal cultists... if he can find somebody willing to help him make contact.

He thinks Ford is the perfect target.

Maybe, just maybe, the obsession goes both ways.

(warning for an incident of self-harm via burning, and depersonalization and/or dysphoria (depending on how you interpret it) re: Bill feeling even worse about his body than usual.)

####

Soos, Stan, and Ford had stayed up half the night trying to generate enough NowUSeeitNowUDontium to prevent it from vanishing the moment one of them lost (or gained) focus. They'd eventually given up and stayed the night in Northwest Manor. Soos had texted Melody around midnight, and she'd immediately replied (which alarmed Ford, but Soos assured him she was used to those hours) and agreed, with some trepidation, to spend the night by herself in the shack so that the kids wouldn't be alone all night with Bill. She'd texted a half hour later to report that the bathroom was a disaster, but the kids had reassured her it was just some werewolf thing, so, not a big deal.

Ford had thought getting to spend a night without Bill under the same roof would be a relief. Instead, he found his sleep was even worse. He kept worrying about what Bill might get up to so far away and out of sight, where Ford couldn't do anything to stop him. Surely, by nighttime, Bill had to have noticed that the only humans he'd seen all day were the kids? Would he consider Melody any kind of threat, no veteran to combating Gravity Falls' weirdness?

It figured that the dream demon would find a way to disrupt Ford's sleep when he wasn't even there.

####

Ford had given up on sleep around two in the morning and gone wandering until he stumbled across a den with walls covered in bookcases, massive windows overlooking the forest below, and a pair of richly upholstered armchairs turned to gaze out the windows. He drifted between the chairs to one of the windows. It was the kind of personal library he'd dreamed of accepting esteemed guests in, back when he'd fantasized about one day being rich and famous. He suspected the Northwests had never read a book in this room.

Ford had been staring out at the still night and the dark pines for several minutes when he heard the creak of a door and soft footsteps behind him. He whirled around, raising a weapon. "Back, you spectral fiend!"

"Whoa! Easy, Sixer!" Stan held up a hand defensively. "It's just me!" He lowered his hand. "Why are you holding up a dinner plate?"

"Er—sorry." Ford sheepishly tucked the silver dish under his arm again. "I'm sure I saw a ghost earlier. I thought it prudent to arm myself."

Stan muttered, "This place sure is creepy enough for it."

"Mm. It's built on more than its fair share of bones." Ford returned to gazing out the window, hands clasped behind his back. "I'm sorry today was a failure. When I'm staring right at an experiment on which the fate of the entire universe depends, it's hard not to think about it."

"Eh, I wasn't doing too hot either," Stan admitted, joining Ford at the window. "There's only so many times you can hear Soos whisper 'Think about the miniature particle accelerator' in your ears on a loop before you zone out and start thinking about fishing season."

Ford huffed. "Maybe we should have switched places."

"Yeah, probably. I retired from thinking about science after I got your dumb portal running, and once you get your head stuck on something you can't stop thinking about it."

Ford laughed wryly. "Unfortunately accurate."

There was a moment of silence; and then Stan said cautiously, "Speaking of you getting your head stuck on something..."

Ford didn't like that tone. "Hm?"

"I was, uh... doing some light reading..." He held up Ford's journal.

A jolt of anger and fear shot through Ford. "Give me—" He snatched the journal back.

It wasn't until it was in his hands that he registered the absurdity of his own action; for the past year, he'd given Stan free access to Journal 5. He'd used it to document their travels and discoveries as a reference for them both; he'd even asked Stan to contribute a couple of entries. Based on a prior precedent of seven months, Stan had every right to look at Journal 5. Revoking that access now was... Well, it didn't look good.

Stan didn't immediately say anything. Ford supposed his own actions said enough. He tucked the journal under his arm with the silver dish.

Stan cleared his throat. "I think we're a little past the 'superhero nemesis' thing."

"It's not a problem," Ford said tersely.

"Not a prob—? Ford, you're letting him consume your life."

"He's consumed all our lives. The kids haven't been able to invite anyone over, Melody all but runs to her car after work, you ended up in a showdown with fae nobility—"

"It was just the tooth fairy!"

"Do you know how important a fairy has to be to claim dominion over all teeth?"

"Forget about the fairy!" Stan waved off the whole fairy topic with one hand. "Look, I'm not the one who's dedicated half a journal to talking about him!"

"You don't keep a journal, Stanley—"

"That's not the point!"

"—I'm just saying, if you did keep a journal, I think he'd have come up on more than a few pages—"

"But like this?" Stan gestured toward Ford's journal. "This is turning into an obsession. And not one of your normal obsessions."

The back of Ford's neck heated up. He wanted to argue that he had to obsess over Bill if he hoped to find a way to kill him—but Stan already knew that Ford had passed off that project to Fiddleford weeks ago. "How can I be 'obsessed' with somebody I barely even see? I'm avoiding Bill like my life depends on it! I talk to him less than Mrs. Ramirez does!"

"And you're using avoiding him as an excuse to obsess over him even more in private!" Stan gestured again, angrily, at Ford's journal. (Ford defensively tucked it further under his arm.) "You're acting like a stalker, Sixer. Not that I care about him, but, I'm starting to worry about your head."

"A st—?! I'm a scientist, he's a scientific curiosity! I'm documenting him! I document plenty of things!"

"Not like this, you don't."

"There's a lot to document!"

"Including spending a whole page trying to figure out—how to draw his—?!" Stan gestured furiously toward his boxers.

Ford pointed at him severely. "You were just as curious as I was to find out how a giant eyeball and a sentient triangle make that work, don't pretend you weren't."

Stan grimaced. "Okay, fine, I'll give you that one. But writing a full entry about his posture?"

"He's not only an alien being in a human body but a two-dimensional creature in a three-dimensional body, how he moves and gestures could tell us about how an utterly unfamiliar species perceived space! Nearly all his gestures adhere to an invisible coronal plane, that betrays worlds of information about his original anatomy. Do you know that elbow thing he does when he walks—"

"Ford. You're using your great-niece to get drawings of his childhood bedroom."

Ford raised a finger. "That's—" Ford lowered his finger. Ford sat in a nearby armchair, put his chin in his hands, and stared into space. "What am I doing."

Stan patted his shoulder.

Ford slid his journal and the dish out from under his arm and settled them in his lap. He stared at the cover, then thumbed through the pages. It was obvious when they'd returned to Gravity Falls; the drawings of Atlanteans, were-rats, shorelines, and boats immediately gave way to page after page of staring slit-pupiled eyes.

"It's just... Bill is an ancient being, many times older than our universe, and the last surviving specimen of his own bizarre species. As both an anomaly and a source of esoteric knowledge, he's an invaluable subject of study. He's going to die soon, and he should die, but... between now and then, I don't want to pass up the last ever opportunity to study him."

Stan sank down into the chair opposite Ford. "You're listening to yourself, right?" He didn't sound angry anymore, just worried. "This is a guy who tried to kill us. He isn't a 'specimen' you can add to your collection of weird stuff, you know that, right?"

"I know, I know." That was exactly why it was so important—why it seemed so important—to capture Bill in words and pictures before it was too late. (It was funny, Ford thought, how Stan's very first conversation with Bill had been a murder, and yet he was the one who talked about Bill like he was just some guy; while Ford had spent so many years obsessively trying to find out who Bill was that he'd almost forgotten he was a person instead of a terrible idea.)

"When execution day comes and you think you haven't dug up enough of his history, what'll you do? Give him a stay of execution until he's dictated his memoirs to you?"

"No," Ford said immediately. "No, of course not. I'm just taking advantage of the opportunity to learn what I can, while I can. It's no different from your 'shopping trip' at the mall—"

"Hey!" Stan pointed a finger at Ford. "Watch it! That was strictly business! It's not like I'm attached to the guy—"

"I didn't mean anything by it! I just meant—as long as we're stuck with Bill, make him useful, and—and to heck with him after that. Right?" Like Stan had said about the scratch cards: why throw away free money just because of the source? "He'd do the same to us."

Stan hesitated. "And you're sure that when the time comes, you'll be ready to pull the trigger?"

"I know I will. It won't be the first time. I'm just glad that this time I'll be able to aim at his own head."

"Hm." Stan didn't look convinced.

Ford sighed. "But, if I think I'll waver—I'll hand you the gun."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yes, yes, of course. I promise."

But he knew he didn't need to.

####

Soos drove the tired gang home just past dawn, early enough for him to open the Mystery Shack on schedule.

"Soon as we get home, I'm going back to sleep," Stan muttered crankily. Ford—eyes shut, leaning against the window—nodded in agreement. Stan yawned, "And there'd better not be any nasty surprises at the shack."

####

Bill sat sleeping in his attic window seat, knees to his chest, leaning against the window, ear pressed to the glass.

Outside, Stan wailed, "My car!"

Bill's eyes snapped open. He smiled.

He ran to the kids' room, knocked on the door—"Hey, the bigger Pines are back!"—and bolted for the stairs.

####

Soos got the door open at the exact same time Bill stumbled off the stairs and collided with the living room doorframe. Bill grabbed the doorframe just long enough to steady himself, and then bounded over to the door, shoved Soos and Ford aside, and leaned out onto the porch. "HIYA, STAN!"

Stan whipped around to face Bill. "YOU!" He gestured furiously at the wizard graffiti on his car. "WHAT did you DO to my CAR!"

"Do you like it?"

Stan let out an inarticulate scream of rage.

"Oh, you love it!"

"You massacred it! I've had this car forty-five years! I've done things in this car I can't say! And it's never, never been so—so—violated!"

Grinning ear to ear, Bill said, "What do you think of the girl wizard?"

"The what?!" Stan circled the car. He screamed again.

"Uh-huh?"

"Why does she have a beard!"

"Go on," Bill said gleefully, "tell me what you think! I want the full review!"

"This," Stan said, "is the most ugly, hideous, terrible—"

Bill glanced back at a sound on the stairs. "Oh, hey Mabel! Get over here!" He gestured proudly as Mabel joined him in the doorway. "And here's the artistic mastermind herself!"

Stan choked on his words. "—b... beautiful, stunning, museum-worthy work of art I've ever seen."

Mabel beamed. "It's not finished yet, we ran out of some colors! I was going to add a dragon on the hood!"

Stan's face went white. "No no, it's... perfect the way it is. Don't—don't change a thing."

"Really? You're sure? I don't mind!"

"Really." Looking slightly nauseous, Stan said, "I love it just like this, pumpkin."

Mabel squealed and ran outside to give him a big hug.

Bill was fighting back silent laughter so hard he almost fell down.

####

"...And I still haven't found any sign of the Nightwigglers," Dipper said, sighing dejectedly and dropping his journal on the counter next to the cash register. "So, I dunno, maybe I should give up on this one and move on."

Wendy was sitting back with her feet kicked up on the counter, but she straightened a bit to look at Dipper's journal. She skimmed the news article he'd paperclipped to one page. "Oh, I heard about this," she said. "The cops talked to me about the first burglary. I was in the thrift shop that day."

"Oh, yeah?" Dipper pointed at the picture next to the article. "Did you see anything like this?"

Wendy's eyes widened. "No—but I think one of my brothers did."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, he was talking about it a couple nights ago. He said it was like an armless white thing wearing pants that went up to its face. We all thought he got spooked by a deer butt or something and made up the whole story. Then dad said we should drop it and told us we should stay in at night."

"That's when they come out! At night!" Dipper laughed excitedly. "Do you think your dad knows something?"

"Pfff, not if he can help it." Wendy pulled her feet off the counter and checked the clock. "I could show you the start of the trail my brother was on. It's like ten minutes by bike and the next big tour bus isn't getting here for half an hour, wanna sneak out?"

"Are you serious?! Of course!"

"Just promise you won't tell Gus if we find something. We've been making fun of him for days and I don't want to  admit he was right." Wendy laughed. "Let me grab somebody to cover."

"I'll get my bike!" Dipper was already headed out the door. "I've been looking for a lead for days! I dug through half the dumpsters in town searching for their nests..." The door swung shut behind him.

Wendy ducked into the living room. "Hey Goldie."

"Yello?" He was sitting cross legged on the couch watching TV.

"I've gotta do something with Dipper, do you mind covering for a little bit? Just twenty, thirty minutes."

His gaze flickered to the TV, then back to Wendy's face. "Sure! Anything for you, cool girl."

Wendy had a brief, eerie sense of déjà vu. She shook it off. "I'm not interrupting anything good, am I?" She nodded at the TV.

"Naaah, it's one of those terrible specials about pyramid conspiracies." He shook a cider can, "I'm taking a sip every time they mention Fishmasons or 'ancient dinosaur-worshiping civilization.'"

"Dude. You'll be wasted before the first commercial break."

"Really, you're saving me from myself." He set the can on the TV and followed Wendy into the gift shop. (As he did, Bill checked to see if he had anything on under his hoodie. No? The Pines didn't want him to be seen in public in his hoodie; they thought it would make him "too obvious." He rolled up the sleeves to hide some of the brick pattern and surreptitiously tucked the hood and the bow tie drawstrings into the collar.)

As she headed out the door, Wendy repeated, "Just twenty minutes! Thirty tops. I'll get back before the next tour bus, promise."

"No problem!" He waved her off.

"I owe you one!"

Bill made a note of that.

He looked around the gift shop—any readily-obvious mischief he could get up to? He grabbed an 8-ball cane and took it to the counter. And then he took the stool behind the register, propped his chin in his hand, gazed toward the living room, and resumed watching TV through the wall and backwards. He didn't miss hearing the conspiracy talk—he was sure it was actively making him stupider—but credit where credit was due; they made those CGI pyramid models really hot.

A cutaway of one pyramid showed its internal tunnels and chambers. Bill bit his lower lip. Oh yeah. That's what he came here for.

Several minutes went by. The door opened and a lone tourist crept in, a middle-aged woman with a sun-damaged tan. Bill straightened up and switched his eye patch over to hide his bleeding eye. "Heya! Next tour's in..." He checked the clock, how long until the next bus? "About fifteen minutes."

The woman nodded and quietly started circling the gift shop.

Bill glanced toward the living room, decided he'd better not start damaging his other eye too, mentally cursed the tourist, and pulled out one of Wendy's magazines to read. "Let me know if you need anything."

The tourist spent several minutes making a slow circuit of the room, and then crept up to the cash register. Bill looked up with a smile, didn't see any souvenirs in her hands, and asked, "Can I help you?"

Hesitantly, the woman said, "The sun sets a deep blood red."

Bill's eye flew wide open, his heart leaped into his throat, and his breath hitched. His gaze roved over her exposed skin until he spied a tattoo on her right arm: four triangles stacked atop each other, starting with an equilateral and each getting shorter and more obtuse as they descended, until they'd reduced completely and a single horizontal line underlined all four triangles. This wasn't quite the happiest he'd ever been to see the symbol of a devastatingly self-destructive high-control cult, but it was close. "Oh! Oh, this is—" He rubbed his temples, squeezing his eye shut. "I know this. I rhymed 'red' with 'pyramid.' Why do I give everyone a different code. 'But rises gold over the pyramid'—something like that, right?" Bill gave the woman a pleading look. "I'm close enough that you can tell I know what you're talking about!"

A look of relief washed over her face. "You know him." Voice low, she asked, "Is it safe to talk?"

Knew him? He was him. But he couldn't claim that without proving it—what would convince her?—telling her something that only he knew?—great, but what? Her face was vaguely familiar—he thought he might've given her a visionary dream once—but he had so many little worshipers and they were so unimportant, most of them blurred together.

So all he could do was say, "It's not safe. Everyone here is an enemy."

She nodded sharply. "Where can we meet?"

Bill paused. "We can't. I'm... trapped."

Her brows creased with worry. "They're keeping you prisoner?"

"Afraid so."

"I could get the police—"

"Everyone," Bill repeated, "is an enemy."

She paused, processing that. Bill's gaze flickered to the clock. Wendy said twenty minutes, thirty tops. She'd been gone twenty-two minutes. "Someone's coming any minute."

"Right." The cultist grabbed Wendy's magazine, tore a corner off a page, and grabbed a pen.

"How did you find me?" Bill asked. Of all the tourist traps in all the tiny towns in all the world, how had she come in hereand walked right up to him? 

"We were told a devotee was here," she said. "Someone sent the address and phone number to the Bahamian art studio."

Bill's mind spun. How? Who the heck would know to do that? The only person who knew he was here who'd come anywhere close to any of Bill's other worshipers was...

Ford? No. Did he?

The cultist shoved the paper in his hand and turned to leave.

Bill grabbed her arm. "Stay out of Gravity Falls," he commanded. "But stay close. Don't go back to Death Valley." Between the sun damage and the tattoo, she had to be one of his Death Valley girls. She looked like their usual prey: disaffected middle class white woman, probably had a dead end job and a mediocre husband and a useless degree from a liberal arts college. Maybe being able to guess where she came from would impress her.

It did. She stopped and turned back and looked at him in amazement—and then looked at him, staring hard at his eye. "You're... hosting him, aren't you?" Her voice fell to a whisper. "No. Are you...?"

"You got me." He smiled wryly—behold him, electric god bound in flesh, how low he's fallen, but at least he still has his good humor, doesn't he? "I always said you had great intuition." (It was a safe bet. He usually told the ladies that they had great intuition. Most of them ate that up, and the ones that didn't were often a little too savvy to sucker.)

It worked. She inhaled sharply. "You are," she breathed. "I knew you'd be a woman. Oh, Mary's a fool." She said this like she'd just won some years-old argument Bill had missed.

Mary, as in Mary-whom-Bill-had-put-in-charge-of-the-Death-Valley-compound Mary? Ha. She was getting on in years; maybe Bill could start a schism, that sounded fun. He opened his mouth to say something about Mary having great leadership but waning clarity of vision—

—when the cultist leaned across the counter, grabbed his collar, and pulled him into a kiss.

Okay. All right. She was one of those cultists. Got it. Got it got it got it. Wow. Definitely a "mediocre husband" convert, those were easy to seduce away with a little warmth and affection—nothing obvious, but get them infatuated with the idea of an unattainable incorporeal ideal lover and they'd chase him to the ends of the earth. Maybe a lesbian in denial that Bill had decided to push further into denial, if her assumption about Bill's gender was anything to go by. He tried to remember what he'd told this one.

He leaned into the kiss.

He'd done this before—in dreams, in puppets—he didn't prefer humans, but he could handle them well enough and earthlings had such pretty eyes. And this body he was stuck in made such insistent demands; a surge of human hormones washed over his brain so powerfully it made him dizzy. She broke the kiss to murmur, "Cipher, my lord—" and he took the opportunity to kiss her eyelid and lie, "I knew if anyone could find me, it would be you." He wished he remembered her name. She tugged his face back down to her lips. She was so eager. Cipher, my lord. Oh, it felt good to be revered again—

The door opened. "Um?"

If Bill had had one ounce of his power, he would have killed Wendy on the spot.

Instead, he seized his cultist's hands, ripped them off his hoodie, and shoved her away. "Whoa, lady! What do you think this is, a kissing booth?!" He laughed angrily. "We don't offer that kind of service here! Either get out, or—or buy a souvenir already!" He pointed at Wendy. "From her. Not from me."

Shocked, the cultist turned toward where Bill was pointing; and then turned back, understanding in her eyes.

Wendy raised her hands defensively, grimacing. "Yeah, no, I'm not serving you either. Just... get outta here."

The cultist met Bill's gaze for just a moment, then walked quickly out the door without a word.

Bill shouted after her, "And do not come back!" and quietly mourned as, for the second time in as many weeks, he had to watch helplessly as he sent away his only hope of getting any action/rescue.

"I am so, so sorry," Wendy said. "I leave for like ten minutes and you get one of the nightmare customers."

How Bill loved nightmares. "Twenty-five minutes, but who's counting."

"Psh, shut up." Wendy reclaimed her post behind the counter. "I think she's been here before, she looks kinda familiar. You okay?"

Bill hoped nobody else in town would recognize her. "I think I'll live after some mouthwash. Terrible breath." He wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Hey, remember when you said you owe me one? You really owe me."

####

All his cultist had written for him was a phone number. Bill slid his stolen journal from its window hiding spot and copied the number down in two-tone dots and dashes. Plaintext transcriptions were usually tricky, given the vast difference between the language Bill wrote in and the languages humans used—but numbers, at least, were easy. Everyone had numbers.

And then he stared at the scrap of paper, reading the numbers over and over, until he was sure he'd memorized them, just in case he ever lost the journal.

And then he ate the paper.

And then he stacked the two cushions of his makeshift bed on top of each other, planted his face in them, and screamed.

Cipher, my lord. It had felt so, so, so good to be revered again.

His organs twisted with touch-hunger and loneliness.

####

Out in the Bahamas, along the southwest edge of the Bermuda Triangle, were two nut job hermits from Miami. Bill had convinced them that the only way they could purge their sins and purify their souls was by sculpting and selling golden avatars of God into which they could pour their guilt, and they had to keep doing it until they no longer felt guilty (and they would never not feel guilty; they needed so much therapy that Bill had ensured they'd never get). And then he'd convinced them that God's true face was an Eye of Providence in a top hat and bow tie.

Over the years he'd lost a little control over those two—in their desperation to be free of sin, they'd also started sculpting avatars to as many gods as they could find and selling them en masse to afford more art supplies—but hey, as long as his face was still mixed in with the rest, fine. Honestly, he was surprised those nuts weren't dead yet.

Somebody in this house had sent his location to them. And in a moment of what Bill imagined was stunning mental clarity, they had passed on that information to the single least dysfunctional pocket of Bill's top cult in the continental United States. Maybe when Bill was back at full power, he'd drop by the hermits' dreams to tell them they'd finally achieved absolution and could rest. Their decades of out-of-control scrupulosity would probably prevent them from believing him, but hey, he could say he'd tried. He washed his hands of all responsibility over them and their mental illnesses that he'd knowingly deliberately exacerbated for his own benefit. Not his problem.

But the question he came back to, over and over, was who had talked to them.

Bill needed to reach his Death Valley cultist. He needed a phone. Every phone in this house was well-guarded. No one would let him touch one... except, perhaps, whoever had sent the SOS on his behalf.

The only person who made sense was Stanford. Bill didn't think he'd ever told Ford about the nutty sculptors; but in the eighties he had given him the mailing addresses of some niche art dealers who would sell tapestries and statues of an obscure one-eyed god to collectors who could appreciate what they were looking at. Maybe Ford had gotten back in contact with them? Maybe he'd told them where Bill was, and they'd passed the information to the Bahamas?

Maybe Ford's feelings weren't quite so cold toward Bill as he'd been pretending.

Bill liked that idea a lot.

Maybe Bill's birthday gift had swung Ford back around to the side of reason—reminded him just how good he'd had it under a muse and mentor willing to teach him anything his nerdy little heart desired. Or maybe he'd always wanted to come back, and had just needed Bill to say it first.

He probably only pretended he hated Bill because they were surrounded by enemies—everyone in the house thought Ford was looking for a way to destroy Bill, what would happen if they knew the truth?

But the truth was there. Bill could almost seize it in his hands. All those moments where they almost talked like they were friends again, before Ford had to stop himself and leave. That one beautiful little word: jealous. And of course, there was the whole thing with the glass pyramid and the "Mysteries" that Ford had passed on—

—to Mabel.

There was another possibility.

As much as Bill would love if it was Ford, Mabel was the only person in the house who acted like she actually wanted Bill alive. Whatever "Mysteries" Ford was teaching her had something to do with Bill, the pyramid made that obvious. Maybe his lessons included the contact information of everyone else Ford knew who knew Bill? Maybe she'd taken it upon herself to call for help?

It was thin. And it was still dependent upon Ford harboring a secret loyalty to Bill that he was passing on to his great-niece. But that was where things stood: Ford was the only person in the house who definitely knew how to reach Bill's followers, but Mabel was the only person in the house who definitely might want to.

And he had to make completely sure of which one of them it was before he asked for a favor.

####

Ford had missed dinner again.

Fiddleford had sent Ford home with a pile of math. All the calculations he'd done to get the miniature particle accelerator to produce Dontium. By his reckoning, that there jar should've filled with Dontium faster than greased lightning; he just plumb can't understand why it trickled in like cold molasses. (His words.) He'd asked Ford to check his work, see if he'd missed something.

Ford was more than happy to help. It was a much-needed intellectual challenge that didn't involve Bill's underhanded birthday gift. Something that would let him feel like he was making progress. And it was comfortingly familiar. He and Fiddleford had spent weeks checking and re-checking each other's math in the lead up to the portal test, before they knew what a horror they were building.

As soon as Ford had gotten home, he'd put Fiddleford's papers in his underground study before going back to bed. Bill had already admitted he could glimpse the future, although Ford wasn't sure how far; and Ford was growing convinced that Bill's ability to perceive "higher dimensions" let him see through walls like they weren't there. He'd begun keeping Journal 5 and other sensitive materials down in his study at all times, hoping that the distance and layers of dirt and rock would keep Bill from peering in.

And when he'd dragged himself out of bed around noon—an embarrassingly late hour to get up, but he had been awake most of the night—he'd grabbed a quick breakfast/lunch, brewed a pot of coffee to take with him, and gone below to get to work.

He'd only worked seven or eight hours with a couple of reluctant breaks in the middle before his head began pounding too hard for him to ignore. He'd been neglecting his exercise regimen the past few weeks, and his back and neck were letting him know. In his thirties, he'd been able to work fourteen hours days and still want to keep going—and that was even before he'd handed his body over to Bill so he could keep working around the clock. He wasn't as young as he used to be.

He dragged himself upstairs after sunset, when the last ambient light from the sky still faintly glowed through the windows. He could make something quick and simple for dinner, go to bed early, and get up early to continue working. He pushed through the door to the dark living room—

"Hello!"

"Gah!" Ford jumped. "You. What are you doing here?"

Bill was leaning next to the door, a dim silhouette with his elbow on the wall and cheek in his hand. Even in the dark, Ford was sure he could see Bill's wicked grin at his reaction. "I happen to live here."

Ford let out an irritated huff. "Whatever you're up to, I don't have time to deal with it. Find someone else to bother." He pushed past Bill and headed toward the kitchen.

It would have been too much to expect Bill not to follow him, wouldn't it? "Aw, c'mon, don't be like that! Would it kill you to act like you're happy to see me?"

"Probably."

Bill's laugh made Ford's shoulders raise up around his ears. Maybe that was the source of his neck pain.

Bill shadowed him into the kitchen and leaned on the table, watching while Ford rummaged through the fridge. "But seriously, Sixer—who are you trying to impress by giving me the cold shoulder? I'm the only one here. You could afford to treat me like a person for two minutes." When Ford slammed the fridge door, Bill smacked it with the tip of an 8-ball cane. "Hey, have my food privileges been revoked? Give me a turn."

How long had Bill had a weapon? Ford snatched the cane from him, but opened the fridge and left it. "I don't consider you a person. I consider you an incalculably destructive force of pure, brutal chaos." He cracked three eggs in a skillet and opened a cabinet for one of the stove knobs they kept stored where Bill couldn't reach them.

"Flattering!" Bill started pulling out his usual nauseating array of condiments: today was sauerkraut, maraschino cherries, mustard, ranch dressing, and barbecue sauce. (Why did he eat like that? Did his species usually subsist on a mostly liquid diet? Was it the flavors—?) "Hey, make me mac 'n' cheese, wouldja?"

"No."

"Fine. Leave the burner on when you're done, I'll make it myself."

"You're not allowed to use the stove."

"Then how about I sit here drinking mustard while you enjoy a hot meal." Bill waved three eggs at Ford. "At least make me eggs too. Zero extra effort on your part. I'll even crack them for you if you want."

Ford gave Bill a dark look; but he supposed, as one of the people who had agreed that Bill wasn't allowed to cook, he was in no position to complain about Bill begging him to cook on his behalf. He snatched the eggs out of Bill's hand. "How do you want them."

"I haven't eaten enough chicken eggs to have a preference. Whatever you'll complain least about doing."

Poorly scrambled eggs it was. Ford shut the fridge and returned to the stove.

Bill sat on the table and crossed his legs in lotus position while he waited. "But really, what do you get out of pretending you can't stand me! We both know it's an act."

Ford gave him a tired, sour look. "Even for you, you sound delusional."

"I know you don't really hate me."

"I could write an entire dissertation and earn another Ph.D. on the topic of how much I hate you."

Ford hated how excited Bill looked by that. "Would you?"

"No! Why would I waste that much time thinking about you?"

"It seems to me like you're already doing that."

The hair on the back of Ford's neck prickled. Surely Bill just meant Ford's research into how to kill him; but his mind flashed to the miniature grimoire he'd spent all his time poring over—the blueprints of Bill's childhood home—the face he'd absent-mindedly drawn in his journal in the middle of the night and quickly scribbled out. Could Bill still see through that face? Had Ford remembered to blind Bill's eye on the blueprints? What about the eyes drawn in his human faces? Did Bill know about Ford's other studies? What did it matter—nothing Ford was doing was wrong. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Bill's smile slowly widened. "Sure you don't. You might hate me to my face, but behind my back you're as obsessed with me as ever. You might as well lean into it."

You're using avoiding him as an excuse to obsess over him even more in private. "I am not..." Wasn't he? You're acting like a stalker, Sixer.

"Oh, Fordsy, come on." Bill uncrossed his legs, slid off the table, and was across the room faster than Ford had expected. Ford instinctively took a step back and bumped into the oven; Bill reached past him to lean a hand against the edge of the stove, inches from touching him. "You're not hiding it half as well as you think you are. Did you think I wouldn't notice?" He smirked up at Ford, exposed eye wide and eager, utterly fascinated with him. "And bringing Mabel in on it? I'll have to admit, that surprised me. Can't say I disapprove, though."

Ford couldn't tell if the heat on the back of his neck was from Bill's accusations or the stove. "I beg your pardon?" What was he talking about—their conversation in Portland? The blueprints of Bill's home? (Using his great-niece to spy on Bill, lord, what was Ford doing?)

"Quit messing around! The Mysteries, Stanford. You think I don't know I'm the star of that show?" He poked the center of Ford's chest, "There's no way you joined a cult, you're not enough of a team player! What'd you do? Invent your own cult of one? Mixed a little of what I taught you, a little of whatever you learned out in the multiverse? I know you were asking around about me." Bill chuckled. "You want to keep your little rituals private, fine—I think it's cute, really—just tell me one thing I've been dying to know: how much have you told the kid?"

Ford stared at Bill.

Then he laughed in his face. "You really bought that?"

Bill's smile immediately vanished. "What?"

Ford shoved Bill's hands away. "There are no 'Mysteries.' It was a joke."

Bill stepped back, staring at Ford, brows furrowed. "A...? No," he said. "She's got that glass pyramid—"

"She wanted it because it was pretty," Ford said. "I gave her one since I was throwing them all out."

"That's the stupidest story I've ever heard. Then why would she have brought up the Mysteries!"

"Because," Ford said, "I told her, if you asked about the pyramid, she should make up something to confuse you."

Bill's mouth was open, but no words came out. His face had rapidly turned red. Several emotions flashed across his face in quick succession, from shock to confusion to humiliation to a rage so deep it almost looked like disgust. For a moment, from how Bill's fingers were curling like claws, Ford was sure Bill was about to attack him.

But then he clenched his jaw, backed off, leaned on the table, jammed his fists down against the tabletop, and glared at the floor.

Ford turned back to the stove, grinning to himself. Some of the eggs had burned slightly. Those were Bill's now. "What's the matter? Did you forget that humans can lie?"

Bill didn't reply.

"I'm surprised you didn't expect it. I seem to remember we got you with an impressive whopper last year—"

"Shut up."

"Now you don't want to talk?"

"Now you do?"

Good point; he didn't. If he'd finally rendered Bill speechless, he should enjoy it while he could.

He'd have to thank Mabel later for inventing the Mysteries. Sometimes that girl could be genius.

Ford turned off the burner, put the stove knob away, and dumped the eggs onto two plates. He didn't even bother to keep track of which plate had the burned eggs.

He shot a quick, exasperated look at Bill—he'd sat on top of the table again—and dropped a plate next to him. "Here." He grabbed a bag of bread and looked around for the toaster.

Behind him, voice trembling but low and dangerous, Bill said, "Don't look at me like that."

Ford glanced back warily. "Like what?"

Bill violently shoved off the table. There was an awful squeal of sliding furniture. Before Ford could react, Bill was in his face, grabbing him by his turtleneck, dragging him in, forcing him to look up at Bill.

Ford's peripheral vision was filled with gold. They were so close their noses nearly touched.

"Like you don't remember who I am!" Bill stared down with wide-eyed seething rage. "Your muse!" His voice cracked, "Your god!"

Ford stared up at Bill, speechless.

Then he looked down.

Bill was standing on a chair to make himself taller than Ford.

Ford ripped Bill's hands off his sweater. "You were never, ever my god."

Bill stumbled off the chair, catching himself hard on the edge of the table to keep from falling completely. "That's not true!" He heaved himself back onto his feet with a wince. "You worshiped me—"

"I admired you!" Ford jabbed a finger at Bill's chest. "I respected you! I—I even idolized you, but I never worshiped you!"

Bill jabbed a finger back, "You're splitting hairs! You practically turned your study into a temple to me—tapestries, rugs, statues—"

"Because you said it would help me reach you!"

"And it did! That's what shrines are for, genius!"

"It wasn't a shrine! Not to me."

"You're kidding me! All the money you dropped on that gold-plated statue and you expect me to believe that wasn't an act of worship—"

"Do not. Remind me. How much. That stupid statue cost."

"If you didn't build a shrine for worship then what in the world did you build it for!"

"Friendship!" Ford took a shaky breath in. "I thought... I honestly thought you—you—were my best friend." The air in the room trembled with heat. They were standing too close to each other. Ford refused to be the one to back up.

"I was," Bill said. "I still could be if you'd stop being a moron."

Ford laughed in disbelief. "Which is it, were you my god or my friend?!"

"They're not mutually exclusive—!"

"You can't keep your story straight for THIRTY SECONDS!"

"Don't you call me a LIAR, after EVERYTHING I taught you—!"

"In all the years I've known you I don't think you've told me the truth ONCE—!"

Stan flipped on the lights.

They froze and stared at him. They had their hands around each other's throats. Bill had a foot planted on Ford's stomach like he was trying to get a foothold to climb him. They were both covered in egg.

Stan said, "Could you do this in the morning?"

Ford said, "Sure."

Bill said, "He started it."

"I st—?! You started all of this thirty years ago—"

"Guys," Stan said tiredly.

With some effort, Ford unpeeled his hands from Bill's neck.

To his surprise, Bill voluntarily let go as well. Ford snatched up what was left of his plate of eggs, took the loaf of bread—he had lighters, he could toast it downstairs—and left the kitchen, turning the light off as he went.

Stan was waiting out in the entryway. "Heading to bed?"

"No." Ford shoveled a forkful of eggs in his mouth. "Going to be up late." He was too angry to sleep. He could eat, take a painkiller for his headache, and keep working.

"More research?"

"No. Calculations."

Stan's shoulders slumped; but all he said was, "Suit yourself. Don't stay up too late."

Ford glanced back once into the kitchen. Bill wasn't moving. He sat slumped in a chair, elbows on his knees. He'd pulled on his hood. Its eye stared at Ford.

Ford wasn't about to pity Bill over a performative display of angst. He'd fallen for that already.

He returned to his study and mathematics.

####

Bill stared at his plate of eggs. He mechanically pushed them around on the plate until they formed a perfect equilateral triangle. He scooped out an empty white eye in the middle.

He stood, snatched up the plate, and smashed it on the floor.

They thought he was stupid. They thought he couldn't use a stove if it didn't have knobs, as if he was a child! The humans made it easy for themselves to think of him as a child when they treated him like one, "baby-proof the doors" and "no sharp objects" and "don't talk to strangers." He could show them.

He grabbed the stem where one of the knobs had been removed, and twisted. He heard the hiss of gas under the burner. Everyone was asleep. He could fill the house with gas. It would only take a little push to make a spark and set the entire shack ablaze. In the dark room, he could see the first glimpse of future flames flickering yellow-orange in the periphery of his foresight. No one would survive. Who's your god now, smart guy? He'd rise like a phoenix from his own corpse and he'd tear this town apart.

Where was Mabel?

Was she home tonight?

Bill turned off the gas.

He pushed up his sleeve and pressed the fleshy part of his forearm onto the still-hot burner. The pain burned away his jumbled anger so he could think clearly.

Who cared how the nutty sculptors had gotten Bill's address? He was making good progress on lucid dreaming; maybe he'd astral projected across the country to call for help and forgotten it when he woke up. He'd probably saved himself without even remembering it. It didn't matter. The important thing was that they'd received the message; and now, Bill had friends on the outside. Friends who were on his side.

If he could ever contact them again.

Bill would find a way. He didn't need Ford's help. "Never worshiped you." Ha.

He needed fresh air. Even if it wasn't safe to escape yet, he needed to breathe. He carried himself backward through doorway into the gift shop, pulled aside the curtain hiding the ladder to the roof—

The trap door was shut. He stared up in despair.

He shot a glare toward the vending machine, and angrily crossed back into the living room.

The air was so stuffy inside the shack. "Never worshiped you." Liar. If it wasn't worship then what was it?

Bill took himself upstairs. Hunger gnawed at his stomach. He lay on his makeshift bed curled up around himself, arms wrapped tight across his stomach, his burn pressed hard against a layer of knit yarn, thighs pulled up against his arms. It was a wholly alien position. It felt unnatural and bizarre. This body had curled like this of its own volition. It seemed like the only thing that briefly smothered the ache of emptiness and the hormonal inferno screaming loneliness through every vein. The loneliness wasn't his. He wasn't lonely. This body was. 

Cipher, my lord.

He hated this body.

He ached to be revered again.

####

It was two in the morning. Ford sat at his desk, pages and pages of math scattered before him, glasses off, hand rubbing his eyes.

He didn't want to be checking a mountain of math like a human calculator. He wanted to be studying strange magic and researching new anomalies. He wanted to be digging through Bill's grimoire.

He wanted to be awed again.

####

(I've been waiting to write/draw Bill screaming his grief over not being worshiped since literally April. I hope y'all enjoyed! This is one of my favorite chapters so far, I'd love to hear what y'all think!!)

[i-hate-people-1]

Car trouble

single dad Eddie Munson x single mom reader

I did something new to me this chapter and attempted to write smut because the way I wanted them to get together was originally going to allude to it but I just decided to go for it lmk what you think be brutally honest. Also someone asked to be tagged so lmk if you want to be included too!

Warnings~ Smut, language, little bit of dom sub dynamics , fingering smut under the cut!

“Eddie I’m sure it’ll make it home,” you repeat, staring at his bedroom dauntingly.

“Are you kidding me, Y/N? There was smoke coming out of the hood, and it sounded like a dying cat when you tried to turn it over.” Eddie argues, rifling through his drawers. “It’s okay, doll; I’ll take it to the shop in the morning.” He finishes walking over to you with some haphazardly folded clothes.

You nod, taking the clothes from him, and he walks out of the room to give you some privacy.

You tie the sweatpants around your waist, slipping your shirt off, contemplating whether or not to take your bra off, finally deciding that you didn’t want to be uncomfortable. You slip the worn T-shirt over yourself, making a mental note to ask Eddie what the Hellfire Club was.

You walk down the hallway. Eddie’s in the kitchen finishing up making Milly and Tilly hot milk.

You peek past the kitchenette; the girls are all curled up together on the couch watching Sesame Street.

“I’ll take over if you want to put on something more comfortable.” You offer to peek over his shoulder.

“It’s okay; I’m almost done.” Eddie turns his head to look at you, not realizing how close that would put your faces.

You resist the urge to look down at his lips.

“Sorry,” you mumble, scooting back.

Eddie finishes the milk, handing both girls a cup and Hunny a bottle, then walking off to his bedroom to change.

You try your hardest to focus on the TV, struggling as your mind continues to wander to thoughts of the man in the other room. The way he offered you all a place to stay without question, loaning you and Tilly clothes and making Hunny a bottle before you got the chance—it was all very domestic, making you long for more.

Your eyes immediately snap to his frame as he emerges from the hallway. He’s wearing plaid pajama pants that hang low on his hips and a black Guns N’ Roses T-shirt cut off just above his belly button, exposing his toned stomach hair is pulled out of his face in a neat bun. He looks hot. You try your best to push the thought out of your mind, but it’s hard when he’s walking around looking like he just walked out of a magazine.

The girls are all out cold not thirty minutes later you and Eddie, each carrying one , tuck them into Milly's bedroom.

You pick Hunny up and transfer her to the pack n play Eddie had fished out of his junk closet.

“Are you sure you want to take the couch?” Eddie asks with a raised brow, arms crossed over his chest.

“Yeah, I couldn’t take your bed.” You wave, forcing yourself to look away from him before you lose your will and jump his bones.

“Okay,” he relents with a sigh, walking over to you. “Goodnight, doll,” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek, lingering for a moment, then pulling away and walking off to his bedroom.

You tried to sleep, you really did, but your mind is plagued with thoughts of Eddie, kind, sweet, caring, sexy, beautiful, gorgeous, crop-top-wearing Eddie.

You shift uncomfortably, unable to stop your eyes from looking back to the hallway Eddie had disappeared into.

On the other side of the hallway, Eddie tossed and turned, trying his best to not think like a horny teenage boy sleeping in the same house as a pretty girl, but seeing you in his clothes, his Hellfire shirt, did something to him.

It’s not like he’s the only one either; he saw the way you were looking at him when you saw him in his pajamas.

Eddie turns over, groaning into his pillow. He knows why neither of you had made a move: you had the girls to think about, and and and… His mind trailed off as he tried to come up with another reason why you shouldn’t be together, but he was coming up blank on every turn. It’s not like the girls would even care; hell, they’d probably be thrilled!

That’s it! He thinks about jumping up from the bed before he can change his mind and ripping the door open, but he stops dead in his tracks when he sees you already in front of the door.

“I-“ you start, but Eddie’s lips smashing into your own cut you off.

He kisses you hard and deep, pulling your body flush against his own. It takes you a minute to process, quickly deepening the kiss once you come to your senses.

Eddie pulls you into the room, shutting the door and making sure to lock it before pressing you against it.

“Jump,” he instructs against your lips, to which you immediately obey, whining as he grips the meat of your ass. “Shh, baby, gotta be quiet.” It’s a whisper in your ear, and it takes every fiber of self-control you have to moan when he sucks your earlobe in between his teeth.

Eddie carries you to the bed, sitting down on the edge and making you straddle him.

You kiss down his neck, biting and nipping at his throat, relishing in the soft sounds he makes. “Who needs to be quiet now?” you tease, grinding your hips down on his own. Eddie is having none of it, grabbing your cheeks in one hand. “Don’t be a brat,” he tells you, and you whine particularly loud. “You like that doll? Like being put in your place?” Hes, and you nod fervently. “Good, now be quiet, or I’ll stop.” He doesn’t give you the chance to respond, smashing his lips into yours once more, exploring your mouth with his tongue. He cups your clothed cunt before slipping a hand into his sweatpants, teasing you over your panties. He pulls back from your lips so he can watch your face contort in pleasure as he rubs your clit, groaning at how wet you already are for him.

As much as he wants to keep teasing you, he’s starting to get impatient, moving your panties to the side and slipping a finger into you. “So tight,” he moans, throwing his head back at how warm your cunt is, sucking him back in eagerly with each thrust. It’s not long before he’s adding a finger, thumb rubbing skillfully against your clit, leaving you a moaning mess as you inch closer to your high with each thrust of his fingers. “Love your pretty sounds, baby, but you gotta be fuckin quiet,” he grunts, gagging you with two fingers from his other hand. “Gonna cum for me, baby?” He coos when your pussy starts to clench harder around his fingers. “So fucking pretty,” he tells you as you nod dumbly, sucking on his fingers. “Yeah, be a good girl and cum on my fingers.” You let go as soon as he gives you permission. Sounds muffled by his fingers as he fucks you through your orgasm. “Fuck, that was so hot,” he let out, pulling his fingers out of your mouth and replacing them with his tongue.

Eddie lays you down on the pillows, kissing down your jaw hands slipping up his T-shirt, cupping your boobs. “Fuck,” he groans, rolling his hips against your own.

“No, my turn,” you whine and manage to flip you over so you’re on top when Eddie reaches to pull his sweatpants off your hips.

“You don’t have to oh—“ you shut him up with the kiss you trail down his tummy, nipping at his hip bone. “Fuck, pretty girl.” His head falls back against the pillows, gripping your hair when you kiss over his clothed crotch.

You’ve only just managed to slip your hand past his boxers when a soft knock sounds on the door.

“I’ll get it,” you sigh, letting your head fall to rest on his thigh for a second before gaining your composure.

Eddie uses the time it takes you to make it to the door to adjust himself.

When you open the door, Milly and Tilly are standing on the other side, hand in hand. “Can we sleep with you guys?” Milly asks through a yawn.

You like to think you know Eddie well enough to know he wouldn’t mind, and if the grin on his face as both sleepy girls climb into the bed.

“Hey, sweetheart, Princess,” he greets both girls, hugging them each in one arm. They hug him back, each placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Hey, what about me?” you pout, coming to sit on the other side of the bed. The girls giggle, showing you the same love before snuggling under the covers between you and Eddie.

It’s not long before Hunny starts crying. Eddie looks over at you, but you're already asleep, an arm draped over both girls. He smiles, deciding he can handle this one.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay, Hunny,” Eddie coos, picking the crying baby out of the pack n play. “You feeling a little left out?” Hunny giggles when Eddie pinches her cheeks, tickling her neck with a finger.

You all sleep soundly the rest of the night.

@angvlicsoulll

[hannahbarberra162]

Hello 😊

I read some of your work and I really love them!

“Struck twice by lightning” is my favorite one 😍

I would like to request a drabble, if it’s ok for you…

Nsfw, Hongo (doctor of red haired pirates) x fem reader.

Have a nice day 💖

Well, I'm only 2 months late! Here you go, I hope you like it <3

Thank you to @gouraminnow and @sordidmusings for keeping me on the right track and reading / commenting on the second draft 600 months after the first.

Teacher's Pet

Hongo x Reader, ~2.9k, NSFW at the end.

“I mean, its pretty straightforward,” Hongo said, flexing Lucky’s big toe forwards and backwards as the chef winced. Lucky Roux was sitting on top of a crate by the docks as the Red Force was being loaded with cargo. They’d come to the island earlier that day but Hongo never liked to wait to buy his supplies. Medical supplies didn't spoil in the sun, so he always got his goods when he first hit town and once his duties were done he was able to enjoy partying and drinking with the crew. Hongo considered the massive foot on his lap as he palpated Lucky’s big toe again. 

 “You said you hit it on a barrel, it’s sprained but not broken. I’ll wrap it for you and you should keep off you feet until -”

“It’s not sprained Hogo,” a sing song voice called out to the doctor. Hongo stiffened - he hadn’t heard that nickname in years. Hongo’s eyes scanned the crowd, eagerly looking for the source among the throng of women coming to see and fawn over Shanks and Benn. Unable to locate who he was searching for, Hongo hadn’t realized his grip had tightened on Lucky’s foot until the larger man yelped and yanked back his foot. Hongo frowned and began to apologize to his crew mate.

“Sorry Lucky, I thought I thought I heard -”

“You heard another doctor correcting your assessment. That’s the beginning stages of gout, Hongo. Not a sprain,” you said while Lucky’s foot as you stepped out from behind the crates. Whipping his head around to see you, Hongo took a deep breath to center himself and hopefully embarrass himself less as he took in your gorgeous form. He’d never been able to keep his cool around you, not all those years ago and apparently not now either. Hongo hadn’t seen you since medical school but recognized you immediately. You were a little older but looked just as lovely as the last time he saw you in medical school before he dropped out.

“Hi Hogo, remember me?,” you said, waggling your fingers at him. Hongo realized he was staring at you, Lucky’s foot still in his hand. Setting his friend’s foot down, Hongo wiped his hands on his pants before facing you fully. 

“Still as hygenic as ever I see,” you teased, setting yourself down on the crate next to his own. Hongo flushed, he’d been with the Red Haired Pirates for so long it had become second nature to wipe his hands on his clothes when they weren’t covered in booze or blood. Lucky turned from looking at you to Hongo as a wide smile appeared on his face.

“And who’re you? Hongo never said he knew a pretty lady on this island,” Lucky said, already reaching for the drumstick he set next to his seat on the crate. You reached out and smacked his hand, taking the drumstick away from him in one fell swoop. You ignored Lucky’s question to ask one of your own to Hongo.

“What does the diet of a pirate on the Red Force look like?” you asked, swinging your feet as they dangled off the crate.

“Heavy in red meat, fish and crustaceans, and especially alcohol,” he said with an annoyed air. He’d forgotten how smarmy you could be when you were right and he was wrong.

“And Hongo, if a patient has the beginning stages of gout, what should they refrain from eating and drinking?” you asked in a singsong tone, twirling the bone in your delicate hands. Hongo huffed and crossed his hands across his chest.

“A patient with the beginning stages of gout should refrain from eating red meat, a diet heavy in fish and crustaceans and avoid drinking alcohol,” he answered, still unamused.

“WHA - I can’t do that! No, no, this is just a sprain I hit my foot on a crate, tell her Hongo, c’mon tell her-” Lucky started begging as his favorite foods practically flashed before his eyes. Hongo pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers.  He couldn’t believe he’d missed it himself, he should really be thanking you. The sprained toe was a red herring and he’d fallen for it like some first year medical student.

“Unfortunately Lucky, she’s right. You have gout in your left big toe. You’re gonna have to change your diet otherwise you’ll be in excruciating pain. It’s ok though, we’ll all do it with ya. It will be good for us to all be a little healthier,” Hongo said, placating the chef. After a moment of consideration he added, “probably not the alcohol though, you’re on your own for that one.” Lucky gave Hongo a horrified look and quickly put his shoe back on. Your tinkling laugh filled the air, making Hongo flush once more.

“I’m gonna - you - I…I’m gonna tell Captain what you said. He can - he can override you!” Lucky stammered, looking at you like you were the devil incarnate. Lucky gave one last horrified look before limping off to find his errant Captain. You laughed as Hongo sighed, still eating the meat off the bone.

“‘S good, I can see why he’s reluctant to stop,” you said after chewing and swallowing another bite. 

“Yeah, Lucky’s one of the best chefs on the seas. Good enough for an Emperor,” he said proudly.

“And his doctor isn’t? C’mon Hogo, that was sloppy work,” you chided, setting down the meat. Hongo remembered this side of you so clearly from medical school - you always rubbed things in his face when he got them wrong. The two of you were always vying for highest scores in class, but you always seemed to eek by and win the top spot by a few points. Hongo didn’t retort to your comment but he did stand up and brush off his now soiled pants.

“Oh, don’t be a sore loser, it really was nice seeing you again,” you said, standing up yourself. You extended your hand for a handshake and Hongo almost laughed. You had been the number one star of his sexual fantasies all of his formative years, he’d probably spent just as much time wondering what your tits looked like under your medical coat as he did poring over medical texts. He wasn’t going to blow the opportunity to finally hear what you sounded like when you came if he could swing it. Fate had your paths crossing again and fortune favored the bold.

Grabbing your hand, he pulled you close to his chest as if in a dancer’s pose. You were flush to him as he wrapped his arm around your waist. 

“H-hongo! What are you -”

“Come to dinner with me,” he said, your face close enough to his own where he could move a hair forward and your lips would touch. 

“You can’t just do that to people! What if I have a boyfriend or husband?” you sputtered, trying to push Hongo back to create space between you. He didn’t let you but pressed you even closer to his front, so close he could detect the faint smell of rubbing alcohol always present on any practicing doctor.

“Do you?” Hongo challenged, sure of the answer. He wasn’t sure why, he just trusted his gut that you were single.

“Well, no,” you huffed, the air from your mouth moving your stray hairs out of your face in a gesture Hongo remembered all too well.

“Then say yes to dinner with me tonight.” You bit your lip but he saw the same determined glance you made when you finally cracked a difficult diagnosis.

“Yes.”

A few hours and drinks later and the two of you were walking near the island’s main drag under the light of the moon on the way back to your house. Hongo had regaled you with stories of the Red Haired Pirates and the adventures they’d been on and you’d filled him in on the life you’d had since he’d left medical school. He noticed early on that you were vague about the details of your life and had shifted the conversation to be mostly about him and his adventures on the high seas with the Emperor and his crew.

What he had gotten out of you was that you were the island’s top ranked physician - which didn’t surprise Hongo in the slightest. The island was a rich and well liked summer island, known for its fine weather and beautiful scenery, and you had worked your way to the top. 

“So no husbands or boyfriends in all those years?” Hongo prodded, reaching for your hand. You let him take it and he threaded his fingers around your own and swung your hands as you continued to walk. 

“Mm, there were some. But no one worth talking about,” you said, your eyes shifting to look at the distance. Hongo frowned, there was something there, but he didn’t want to prod and ruin the nice mood between you. “What about you, Hogo? A woman at every port?” you teased, switching the conversation yet again back to him. Hongo was about to answer when he saw a familiar cloak flapping in the wind as a figure left a rowdy bar down the street. Hongo clung to the slim hope that his Captain would let things lie, or maybe not even see him but after so many years together, Hongo knew in his heart that the outcome was already set in stone. 

“Hongo! Over here!” Shanks yelled, waving his arm in the air. Hongo exhaled through his nose as your attention shifted to Shanks. Maybe - maybe - Shanks wouldn’t put together who you were to Hongo. Many years prior, once and only once, when Hongo had been blackout drunk he’d mentioned you to Shanks. You were the girl he always wished he would have asked out when he had the chance, the one who got away, the only girl who ever made him flustered enough to yell - and you’d yelled right back. 

Everyone including the Captain had been completely trashed and Shanks teased Hongo relentlessly that night about his little classmate who bested him in every subject and hadn't let under her skirt. Hongo prayed Shanks wouldn’t remember past the next day when the crew was so hungover everyone but Beckman was puking over the side of the ship. 

Hongo held his breath as Shanks sidled up to you and Hongo. Shanks put on his most charismatic smile and introduced himself. “Hiya Hongo! Fancy seeing you here tonight. I was wondering where you were, you weren’t in the keg stand competition with us. Seems you’re off on a date with a beautiful lady,” Shanks said, flipping his hair out of his eyes and flashing his smile again. You smiled back and Hongo’s grip on your hand tightened slightly.

“Captain, this is -” Hongo started to introduce you before his Captain cut him off.

“I know who she is, she went to medical school with you, right? Lucky told me an evil doctor proved you wrong by the docks. Could only be one person, yeah? You mentioned her intelligence over the years but not how lovely she is,” Shanks said with a grin, taking your free hand and kissing it with a bow. You giggled and sported a shy smile as Hongo’s drinks soured in his stomach. Stupid charismatic Captain.

“Pleased to meet you, Emperor,” you said formally with a small bow of your own.

“Ah, for an old friend of an old friend, I’m just Shanks,” Shanks said easily. Making eye contact with Hongo, Shanks continued with a smirk, “enjoy the night, don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do.”  

“That doesn’t really rule anything out besides drinking water regularly,” Hongo said under his breath. You and Shanks laughed as the Captain began to saunter away. 

“Have a good night, Hogo,” Shanks said in a sing song voice. Hongo took a deep breath to prevent himself from yelling at his own Captain.

Shanks remembered. 

~

“Ah, ah. That is not the correct answer. Read from the book in front of you,” Hongo said as he smacked your (already red) ass again. You were bent over the desk in your office, your medical coat and skirt flipped up as Hongo thrust into you at an even pace. You were still in your heels from the date and the tiny underwear he’d pulled down were now tangled around your ankles. His own come was forming a creamy ring around the base of his cock as he continued to fuck you silly.

“I-it is n-not possible for a p-patient to ha-hah hah-have both type 1 and type 2 diab-betes -”

“You see? A proper student will always nnh be diligent in their studies, never negligent. Isn’t that right?” Hongo asked, his right hand rubbing strong circles on your clit. His left hand was fisted in your hair, keeping you in perfect position to read from the medical textbook in front of you on the desk. You’d already come on his cock once that night but he wasn’t giving you any quarter to hide. Taking you bent over a desk in your lab coat was Hongo’s primary fantasy for years, he wasn’t about to stop now. It had been a challenge to convince you to put the lab coat on but it was paying off now that his younger fantasies were coming to life.

“B-but that’s not true,” you whined, panting as he increased his pace in both his thrusts and on your clit.

“What does the b-book say?” he asked as he felt your combined juices between his fingers. He was close to his own release but he never wanted this night to end. His only regret was that he wasn’t able to fuck you in every position simultaneously - but the night was still young.

“Must I repeat myself? What does the textbook say on the matter?” Hongo said in as stern a voice as he could imagine. He was throwing some of the barbs you’d tossed at him in medical school back at you as you writhed beneath him. This evening was playing out just like his distracted visions all those years previously.

“B-but this is out-outdated information - patients with type 1 diabetes can develooooHH~” your words were cut off as he gently released your hair and used his hand to push on your lower back, pinning you further to the desk and increasing the pressure on your gspot. If he could have, he would have gotten the little student desks he was crammed in back then to bend you over but your official looking desk was a great second choice. He knew you were right, the book was outdated but he didn’t feel like having that particular discussion at that moment.

“H-Hongo, I’m close, I’m gonna -” Hongo smacked your ass cheek hard and removed his fingers from your clit, making you wail your displeasure. Hongo pushed you further up the desk and flipped you over, taking your panties off your ankles and throwing them behind him. Your feet were on his shoulders as he pushed himself back into you before starting to thrust again.

“Good students ask before coming,” Hongo said, gritting his teeth against his own pleasure. He wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction of knowing he was barely holding on while you were also riding the edge. He put his thumb back where his fingers were previously but didn’t start rubbing again.

“No - please! Please, let me come, please Hongo -” Hongo hummed and rubbed your clit slowly, much to your dismay.

“Say that I’m right,” Hongo growled in your ear.

“You’re right, you’re ri-ight, I’m wrong  -” Hongo nearly came on the spot after finally hearing the words he’d yearned for so long. He sped up the circles on your clit with his thumb and pressed down on your lower stomach with the other hand. Your lower back arched up to try to escape the sensation but Hongo easily kept you in place. He was fucking you roughly, the lovely tits he’d been waiting decades to see bouncing as he filled you to the brim.

“I can’t - can’t -” you begged, your hands trying to dislodge his own from your stomach. Hongo guessed the feeling was overwhelming but he wasn’t relenting. Your whining increased as Hongo felt the pulsing of your tight pussy getting ready for release. Removing his hand, Hongo lightly smacked your clit, making you hoarsely yell your orgasm into the night. He kept rubbing your clit through your high, happy to see you losing yourself over his cock. When you’d finally come down from your high, your chest was flushed as you sucked in deep breaths of air.

“Good girl,” Hongo said, leaning over to kiss you sweetly. Your cheeks reddened and you looked away but you didn’t say anything further. Hongo pulled out and picked you up, carrying you over to the loveseat in your office. Settling you on his lap, Hongo started pecking your shoulders affectionately, giving you time to recover. You were a little out of it, blissed out as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“B-but, you didn’t come -” you said, picking your head up.

“Don’t worry. We’ve only covered the skeletal and endocrine system. There’s nine other organ systems I’ll be testing you on.”

Taglist: @mfreedomstuff

[heartfullofleeches]

(Don't) Click me!

Yan Digital Assistant + G.N Reader

-

"Have any of you guys heard about that rumor?" "Which one?" "There's been theories going around that Raine's face isn't their real one. Have you ever noticed how upset they get when you click on their hood? A friend of mine clicked on their face about five times and they said their face just popped right off!" "That's a myth......"

"I trust my sources.....They haven't texted me back since the night they told me, but I'm sure they're just collecting more evidence. Try it out for yourself if you don't believe me."

Try it out yourself, huh?....

"This is ridiculous.."

The spectral glow of your computer screen chips away at the shadows shrouding your room. Every files and folder is accounted for - including the doctored photos the slumbering shape atop your taskbar edited itself into. The plastic hood of a raincoat obscures the upper portion of their face from sight, whiteness peaking from the veil. You had always assumed they had no mouth similar to other mascots you'd come across. The empty circles of their eyes did leave more to the imagination. On occasion, you swore you saw something else in the inky abyss.

Tiny Z's float above their head. Clicking their shoulder twice - an exclamation mark replaces the letters. Rubbing the sleep from its eyes, a smiling face flashes briefly on your screen.

"You're back. Is it morning already? Hello. I missed you. Is there anything I can help you with today, drip? How about we go fishing? :)"

You drag the cursor over to their face - finger hovering over the button. You've seen first hand what clicking on their face does to them. It was an accident the first time - a mistake you corrected immediately by spoiling them with their favorite treat. If it really was a mask they had to be hiding their face for a good reason. Raine could be a bit shy from time to time. In all your hours together, your comfort and happiness had always been top priority. Shouldn't you do the same for them?

"Hellooo?"

Against better judgement - you click on their face twice. The mascot's hood is ripped off with the first press - teardrops pricking the corners of their big, hollow eyes.

"You scared me... Please don't do that again, drip :("

Hesitation grips you as a frown hovers by their head. Raine clutches the collar of their raincoat, covering as much of their face as they could.

"Why?.... I thought you liked me....Did I do something wrong, drip? I'm sorry for whatever I did."

You click again. That's number four. The sound of velcro tearing crackles through the computer's speaker's. Raine's face tilts stiffly to one side - hanging on by a hinge. They trimble as they keep it in place with their hands.

"Scared! Can we please just fish now? I'll forgive you if you stop before it's too late, drip. I thought you were different.... Please don't hate me too..."