#source: incorrect teenwolf
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Stiles: Erica, tell Derek he’s a fucking idiot and I don’t wanna talk to him ever again Erica: Tell him yourself Stiles: I can’t, we’re in a fight Erica: ... you’re sitting on his lap?
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Derek: Ugg, there's nothing in the fridge.
Stiles: Well, you could always eat me.
Isaac: Do you realize there's other people in the room when you say this shit?
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Xigbar: what’s it like dating Marluxia?
Vexen: one time, he asked me what my favorite color was, then told me I was wrong
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ask-stiles-and-pack · 3 years ago
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Stiles: how many people can i have to kill until it becomes illegal?
Sheriff: one. One person.
Stiles: …are you sure?
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jasonpetertoddx · 5 years ago
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Bruce, after a new haircut: Jason, does my hair look weird to you?
Jason: I mean, come on Bruce, someone your age should be glad they still have hair to cut.
Bruce:
Roy: Bruce, I think you look great
Bruce: Why, thank you, kid I should have adopted instead.
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acerbicanimagus · 5 years ago
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Next up in: the real reasons why Voldemort killed Snape
Voldemort: you lied to me, Severus
Snape: well, that depends on how you define lying, my lord
Voldemort: i define it as not telling the truth. how do you define it?
Snape:
Snape: reclining your body in a horizontal position?
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screamxqueenx94 · 6 years ago
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Derek: You really need to stop flirting with every woman you see
Stiles: I don't just flirt with every woman... I flirt with every man to
@write-it-motherfuckers
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Aveline: You lied to me!
Hawke: That depends on how you define lying.
Aveline: I define it as not telling the truth, how do you define it?
Hawke: ... Reclining your body... In a horizontal position.
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animemilkbags · 7 years ago
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Scott: I’m cold
Issac:here take my scarf
Stiles: I’m kinda cold too Derek
Derek:*claws coming out* alright I’ll fight the weather
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Wolf: We shouldn’t have come. I knew it. We shouldn’t have come. 
Iko: We had to. There’s safety in numbers. 
Wolf: Well, there’s also death in numbers, Iko. It’s called a massacre. 
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celestialvoid-fanfiction · 8 years ago
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Derek: *breathes*
Stiles: Flawless, fantastic, incredible, show stopping
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Eli: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Jackson: Please don’t get arrested, your dads will blame me Eli: No promises! Scott: Why not both? Get creative! Eli: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Jackson: Please don’t encourage him, Scott!!!
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hoellandsx · 7 years ago
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stiles: isaac, you can't elope!
isaac: who you callin' cantaloupe, you melon head???
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Derek: YOU MOTHERFUCKER Stiles: Ah! Derek! Derek: What the hell are you doing telling everyone we're a gay couple?! Stiles: Ah, heard that through the grapevine didja
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Jackson: Uhh.. Eli just asked if we want to…“Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?”
Stiles, not even looking up: He's asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees.
Jackson: Oh, that makes more sense.
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Derek: You know what would be great right now? Scott: Eating licorice! Aiden: PUNCHING A SWING SET Ethan: NO FIGHTING A HOVERBOARD Stiles: NO! EATING LICORICE WHILE ON A HOVERBOARD Isaac: NO PUNCH THE HOVERBOARD EAT THE SWING SET *Sometime later!* Stiles: Okay so we're all clear on this. The hoverboard is made of licorice, we can punch it if we want to, but only if it's near a swing set. That good. Are we good? Scott: I like it! Ethan: Sounds good! Isaac: Can the swing set hover? Stiles: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Derek: Um, here's a thought. WHERE WOULD YOU IDIOTS EVEN GET A HOVERBOARD
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