Tim Drake, uncaffeinated and letting the intrusive thoughts talk.
Tim Drake: Pigs can eat human bones and are cannibalistic... They'll eat someone if they want, doesn't even need to be hunger based. They can't digest hair though and I think teeth. So you have to shave the head and pull the teeth.
Dick Grayson: ...
Jason Todd: Christ.
Damian Wayne, sits closer to Tim: Continue on.
Tim: There are pots that can fit a small person.
Damian: Pots that fit humans, all right.
Tim: Harley Quinn isn't necessarily insane, but she battles with finding true love due to men like the Joker.
Jason: Stop it!
Tim: Spinal fluid tastes like a mixture of bananas and a 9 volt battery. And I don’t want to talk about it.
Jason tosses his banana behind his back, losing his appetite.
Dick: Have you had coffee today?
Tim: The coffee maker is broke and I'm too tired to go out. I learned you can survive without a spleen, but you need medication... I should probably look into that.
Jason: Okay, I'm going to another part of the house.
Jason leaves disgusted. Dick follows behind him, speechless and confused. Damian pats Tim on the back.
Damian: You have 20% of my respect. In fact, I know where father keeps his coffee maker. Tell me more facts while we head there.
Tim, blinks surprised: Thanks dude, um sure banks are usually robbed on Friday.
Damien: I figured that, many peoples direct deposits hit on a Friday.
Tim: That is true, this might interest you in the 18th century, a woman actually convinced doctors that she was giving birth to rabbits.
Damian: Get out, tell me more!
203 notes
·
View notes
i'm still stuck on the purgatories so here's a list of purgatory 2 moments simply off the top of my head that deserve to be remembered:
aimsey ducking all of axolotl team alone in a cave with literally half a heart
goose gang fucking descending on the raccoon base and absolutely wrecking shop
ethan crankgameplays clutching up for team panda during the capture the flag game by being the only one hanging out in the center and periodically checking the chests, earning them a shitton of flags and clutching multiple rounds
crow team's egg taking 0 damage
pac doxxing goose gang's egg in the last second
shelby shubble as the last member of her team online writing a letter to aimsey and sharing the world's most devastating ten minutes before her team was eliminated with one of the eye creatures (coco? i forgot lol)
badboyhalo absolutely fucking DEMOLISHING the battleship event on like 2 hours of sleep and a dream
wuant(?) stealing a tv from the battleship event and then playing portuguese ice age on it for the crows lmfao
tubbo djing for his team while waiting for the time for a goose gambit
theguill CRASHING THROUGH THE FUCKING CEILING of the raccoon team's hidey hole like the fucking kool aid man in a last effort to save his team and 4v1 or 5v1 ing team raccoon; he lost but that was such an epic fucking moment
theguill and etoiles pvping and each hyping the other's skills the entire time
seapeekay escaping cellbit and baghera and then stealing their boats and rocketing past to tease them about it; that shit was iconic
kenny going mad with power collecting sand on literally day 1
the english speaking squirrels taking actual physical notes on portuguese phrases (i think)
lgbtiba
i may add more this is an off the top of my head list but like got DAMN i like these events :D i like them a lot
184 notes
·
View notes
I love it when Doctor Who is just stupid. Just fully understands, and tells you wholeheartedly, that it is a ridiculous programme that no one should take seriously. The Daleks are fighting robot Dracula and the Doctor’s defeating Evil Bertie Bassett with lemonade and an alien wasp with psychic powers is impregnating a human woman and everyone’s riding Segways to the final boss chamber. And this horrible creature is the Beep Of All The Meeps and David Tennant has yaoi hands and our villain is dressed as a drum major and dancing to the Spice Girls even though that has nothing whatsoever to do with his evil gimmick and yes. This is it. This is television. What bliss
89 notes
·
View notes
g*le: im not sure i consider myself father material
g*le: quite good at setting relationship boundaries and speaking up abt them
g*le: never mentions wanting kids / actually has / adopts a kid unlike a plethora of other companions
g*le: shoos t*ra away at the mention of grandchildren
fandom: we just don’t have enough information on how g*le really feels about the topic of fatherhood
87 notes
·
View notes