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#talk about things you love!! it's fun and being enthusiastic and invested can get other people interested in the ship too!!
specterthief · 7 months
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we should bring back writing ship manifestos but in the spirit of getting hyped about the things that make you ship them and sharing that love and enthusiasm for the things you like with other fans instead of as a way to put down other people in internet slapfights or harass creators over not making the fan favorite ship canon
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callmearcturus · 4 months
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thoughts on OMITB
yeah my family mainlined the entirety of Only Murders in the Building (3 ten-episode seasons) and I have thoughts and its my blog
This show had SO MUCH AGAINST IT from the onset. I'm too old to have seen Selena Gomez's run as a teenage actor. Worse, I have never in my life found Martin Short or Steve Martin funny. I truly mean that, I have never understood the appeal and eventually just assumed they were part of the early SNL school of comedy, i.e. only every fifth joke lands.
AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT this is gonna sound ridiculous but I didn't know the premise of the show was literally and actually "three people bond over their love of True Crime Podcasts and then decide to start their own podcast about a murder in their apartment building"
I had no idea that was the pitch
I fucking hate True Crime as a genre. I am one of those people who think its a deeply dehumanizing and unethical from top to bottom. so an ENTIRE SHOW about three huge enthusiasts who then make their own?
The deck could not have been more stacked against this fucking show.
AND I DO HAVE SOME COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE SHOW. Let me get those out of the way:
god the cameos make me roll my eyes out of my head. i do not get a thrill out of people playing themselves. I find it super false and annoying. (exception: okay Sting was funny bc he hates dogs and was a legitimate suspect for the murder for like five minutes, lmao)
some of the jokes in the show have a "please clap" vibe to them, and no i will not clap. be funny or gimme more fun character drama.
is that it???
oh yeah a big one: Oliver not being bisexual is so fucking baffling and I just do not buy it.
OKAY BACK TO WHY I LOVE THIS FUCKING SHOW
this show cares so much about its characters and you can say that about a lot of shows but OMITB has two specific skills it deserves kudos for:
ONE: even tho Mabel, Oliver, and Charles are the focus of the show, all the secondary and tertiary characters are important and consistent and are brought back over and over. Like Howard, who in S1 is the Gay Cat Guy and in S2 gets multiple moments of focus for him asking a neighbor out and in S3 is in almost every episode and is Oliver's assistant. The fact the show cares enough to give non-focal characters whole arcs to go through really sells the idea of the Arconia as community of people.
TWO: THE FUCKING ABILITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE YOU LOVE DEEPLY FLAWED, OFTEN ASSHOLISH PEOPLE.
the fucking FLEX that is "The Last Day of Bunny Folger" holy shit. for an entire season, Bunny was this constant nuisance no one liked, then she died, and over the course of one episode that doesn't try to REDEEM her, it just shows MORE of her, I was so fucking invested. And they did the same shit with Ben Gilderoy, it's amazing.
OMITB cares so much about having COMPASSION for everyone and treating all of them like people. There is no one who is purely contemptible
another thing I love is the trio and the various dynamics
all three of them together are adorable and the way they grow to deeply love each other is great. but also the way oliver and charles drive each other nuts and needle each other <3 and how mabel and charles really CARE about trusting each other and how fast they get invested <3 but MABEL AND OLIVER i love them they are hilarious and wonderful and just heighten each other's bullshit
oh my god and the way the show lets each of them have complex backstories and working thru shit. Charles' struggle with his neuroses and years of rejection, Oliver's connection with his son and how he almost throws a case bc he's in love with Meryl Streep (fair), and Mabel being mean and distant and aloof and it all having a REASON
okay fuck this is so long, some quick hits
Theo Dimas is genuinely the best character in the show, the moment he turns to the camera and signs "People in this city talk way too much" was like the moment i was IN on the show for good. thank GOD they keep bringing him back, he's the fucking best.
NATHAN FUCKING LANE AS TEDDY DIMAS, WHAT A FUCKING PERFORMANCE, HOLY SHIT.
wow so many fucking queer people. Mabel, Howard, Jan, Jonathan, Cliff, Jerry, Sazz, Detective Williams and her wife, Alice, and i think Zoe and Uma might be but I'm not sure.
ranking of Mabel's love interests: Oscar (who is great) > Alice (who sucks) > Tobert (boringggg)
the fucking wardrooooobes
the SETS!!!!!!!!!!
selena gomez' rack in the penultimate episode of season 3 holy shit WOW those tits
CHARLES' CAREER-LONG STUNT DOUBLE IS SAZZ, A HOT LESBIAN PLAYED BY JANE LYNCH WHO DOUBLED FOR HIM EVEN IN SEX SCENES AND IS SO MAGNETIC SHE KEEPS ACCIDENTALLY STEALING HIS GIRLFRIENDS
okay i'm done, omitb is good
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Hi, sorry for venting, but I think I need some advice (you can ignore it or just post in case someone else would want to help if you don't want to /nf)
So...Im autistic and always had troubles making friends. Rn I have a friend of almost two years, but Im starting to realise that they affect my mental health. Its hard to talk with them, because:
When I say, that I don't like something in our relationship them would either deny that that thing even exists or make it my fault and call me a crybaby because I don't understand jokes. (Like when I said that im not comfortable with sexual jokes in my direction cuz im a minor and they are not. They got angry cuz ita a joke and "you can't actually think im a pedophilic, thats stupid!" (I didn't, but the jokes can also be weird))
Or sometime she will actually do what I ask, but only for a few days. Like when I asked to use tontegs so I could understand them better and she was so enthusiastic about it, saying that they will learn it all...rn they don't use them at all which make it harder for me. (Like she told me that she would unfriend me if I don't answer her correctly and I got really scared just so her to say afterwards that it was a joke)
And the thing that makes me the most upset: It begins to seem that our communication is a monologue, not a dialogue. Like, she would talk about his day and will get upset when I don't answer vividly enough, however, when I start talking about things that are important to me ( things I'm proud of, my straggles or just the thing I love) she becomes dry and distant, responding with simple "cool" "mhm" or just ignore. I tried to tell her about it for the past two years but she always refused to acknowledge the problem. The last time (a few days before) she just replied "okay" and that it.
I know that all of that can be a lot, but she also a great friend. Like, she tells me how much she loves me or how proud of me she is...and I really like that. I like spending time with her, its fun. I don't have any other friends and Im scared of being alone, but now I just can't talk with her like I used to because of all the problems and I don't know what to do. She doesn't listen to me and Im afraid that if I will tell her all of that again, she will be angry at me and blame me and I will have a panic attack again and I don't want that because my life is already hard.
Im really sorry for the long ask, I just don't know what to do and I don't have anyone to ask for advice...
I get that loneliness and isolation sucks, but in most cases I'd say that it's better to be isolated for a while than to keep investing in friendships with people who treat your badly and don't respect your boundaries and with whom you can't have a constructive conversation about the issues in the relationship. And no matter how much this person claims to care about you or how fun she can be, it doesn't sound like she's actually treating you with respect.
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4ce-of-2pades · 8 months
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Hey I'm that anon from the first ask of this : pick one of your favourite mutals and go into detail why you like them/became mutals with them (has to be different from the last mutual you picked)
One of my favorite mutuals is @cupid-shortcake!!! She is SO SO SO AMAZING!!!
I first met them when we both joined the Better Casino AU, and they immediately struck me as a super interesting and funny person! They seemed to click instantly with @cups-and-pentacles, who is also super awesome, and watching them banter with each other and get really excited over things and build EPIC character lore together in the discord chat was energizing! The way they showed such enthusiasm for the things they cared about made me want to do the same thing! They always made me smile. (They still do all of these things. I’m not sure why I used past tense.)
But THEN I also got to build character lore with Cupid!!! We’ve collaborated a lot actually, and it’s always a blast, because she always has such great ideas, and she’s so encouraging of my own ideas, and the excitement builds as stories go bouncing back and forth with increasing speed as details accumulate and solidify and connect! We collaborated on our TADC OCs, for instance, making them siblings and revising their designs and starting to build their lore, and it was so much more fun than just working on my own OC alone. And of course, in the Better Casino AU we’ve figured out that [PLOT SPOILERS REDACTED] because [PLOT SPOILERS REDACTED] which makes a clever parallel to [PLOT SPOILERS REDACTED]. Ooooh, I’m so PROUD of all that lore you’re not allowed to know yet!!! And it was so much more fun to collaborate on it!!!
And also I will always be ETERNALLY GRATEFUL to Cupid for being the first of my friends that I have managed to convince to read The League of Seven! One of my absolute favorite obscure book series!!! It’s not just a favor to me, they seem to be very invested in the plot by now. Muhahahaha I have trapped her. It’s so amazing that I finally have someone to fangirl over these books with! It makes me happier than I can coherently express!!!
OH, and I almost forgot to talk about Cupid’s actual, y’know, ARTWORK! I LOVE Cupid’s art so freaking much!!! The way she draws all her characters just feels friendly somehow. It’s cute without overdoing it, a gently approachable sort of whimsy. It’s spunky without feeling sharp, and is soft while retaining a reliable solidity. The colors are somehow both bright and pastel simultaneously. It is charming and sweet and I love it so much!!! :) It’s the sort of art style where you instinctively smile when you see it, especially when the character is waving right at you and smiling back.
From their amazing art to their sugary pink aesthetic to the enthusiastic and genuine way they interact with their friends and others, Cupid is just a really wonderful person to know and to create stories with! I feel so so lucky that I’ve gotten to become her friend and make art with her!!!
Also I made her some fanart! Teacup as TLOS Archie:
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ALSO FUN FACT DID YOU KNOW CUPID IS BRITISH??? 😮
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erabundus · 9 months
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@mmriesoftvat &&. said... i know I've said this a million times already, but when i first met you, i was scared as hell. you came into the genpact rpc, guns blazing with the most gorgeous graphics and formatting, and i legitimately didn't think we'd end up becoming friends and partners. i am one of those people that gets incredibly anxious around people i perceive as "popular" and i wanted to really impress you. PLUS, at the time, you were the only other steady wanderer around, i was frothing at the mouth for interactions! AND HOW!! you've become such a good friend over the past several months! i love that we can talk forever about not only plots, but our shared headcanons about wanderer and have the most intense threads. the way you interact with everyone too is nothing short of wonderful. you're so sweet and so fun to talk to! you've also been there for me in those moments where i needed advice or a shoulder to cry on, and i can't thank you enough for being so supportive. the way you build relationships in rp is so indicative of how you work in real life too. you don't just jump into things, but you spend time building up deep bonds and setting up a solid foundation with people. if people get you as an ic partner and are able to get paragraphs of writing out of you, that's when they should know they have an actual friend in you oocly. it's such a cool thing to witness. with me, and the bond you have with milla, it's BEAUTIFUL. i care you so much, you're just an amazing person all around and i am so excited to see what the new year brings for you. love you so much ava, hope you have the best 2024 ever!
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SPENCE  THIS  IS  SO  SWEET?
SVKSD  i  was  genuinely  super  nervous  when  i  first  started  writing  here.  i  felt  like  i  was  starting  to  get  burnt  out  on  rp  in  general  —  although  as  it  turns  out,  i  was  just  having  trouble  getting  invested  in  what  i  was  doing.  there's  been  some  ups  and  downs  over  the  past  year,  but  i  don't  think  i've  ever  clicked  with  a  community  and  blog  as  much  as  i  have  with  this  one,  and  a  huge  part  of  that  definitely  has  to  do  with  all  of  the  wonderful  friends  i've  made  here.  
and  it  goes  without  saying  that  you  are  very  much  one  of  them!  it  feels  like  from  the  very  beginning  you  were  always  so  welcoming  and  really  comfortable  (  and  fun  )  to  write  with!  i'm  so  happy  that  we  got  the  opportunity  to  get  to  know  each  other  better  ooc.  your  ideas  are  always  super  fascinating  to  read,  and  the  enthusiasm  you  feel  for  your  muses  is  so  refreshingly  genuine.  a  good  number  of  my  favorite  threads  have  been  with  you  and  i  always  get  really  excited  whenever  i  see  a  new  response.  in  general  i  have  so  much  respect  for  anyone  who  can  handle  a  multi  because  i  have  space  in  my  brain  for  approximately  one  muse  and  blog  at  any  given  time  —  but  you  not  only  pull  it  off  while  allowing  each  character  their  own  time  in  the  spotlight,  but  you're  able  to  keep  them  all  very  distinct  from  each  other.  that  takes  a  lot  of  talent as well as a lot of attention to detail.
VKJVKS  the  more  excited  i  am  about  a  thread,  the  more  that  i  usually  end  up  writing  —  and  i  think  the  fact  that  i  tend  to  throw  paragraphs  at  people  probably  says  a  lot  about  how  enthusiastic  i  am  about  a  lot  of  my  interactions  on  this  blog.  🥺  and  that  goes  doubly  so  for  when  i'm  writing  with  my  friends  —  because  OF  COURSE  i'm  going  to  be  super  excited  to  respond  to  a  thread  with  a  friend!
i  care  YOU  so  much!  💖  you  deserve  to  have  a  wonderful  year,  and  i'm  really  looking  forward  to  all  of  the  headcanons  and  threads  and  chats  2024  might  hold.  
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2023 IS ALMOST OVER.
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SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.
――WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?
If you've been folllowing my blog for more than 10 minutes you'll know my ships as I frequently interact with them on here! Robin has two ships that encompass all of his verses: ― Khada Jhin @curtain-cxll in his league verse and various skinlines ― Danny Johnson aka The Ghost Face @bells-of-black-sunday for his modern verse, his alternate legaue verse (Locum Tenes) and other private verses.
Haruko has 1 ship and that is with Tarhos Kovács or "The Knight" @bells-of-black-sunday for all of their verses.
――HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?
Haru and Tarhos have a 12 year age gap, and Jhin and Robin have about 8-9 years so... I'm very loose about it, as long as everyone is an adult, consenting, and mature enough to be with one another I'm pretty alright with anything.
――HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?
I'm actually quite shy with writing NSFW but my writings with Spuk have really helped me realize that I don't have to be guilty about those topics. Howevever I still am very quick to put "Read More" on the post if I think it might even lead to something spicier. Usually this occurs when kissing starts getting more intense and hands are placed on one another; it isn't so much that I consider it NSFW, but I like to tag what is going on just so people can decide for themselves if they'd like to read it!
――ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?
I have absolutely no issue with saying that I'm very picky when it comes to shipping any of my characters, I can generally pretty quickly pick up when characters have chemistry together but it takes time for me to be invested and keep interest. Robin has a lot of complexities that tend to not work well in shipping situations and Haru is....an experience. So I tend to be very selective with shipping, there's only a few exceptions to this like how me and Spuk have a lil Frank/Haru thing going on despite Haru being shipped with Tarhos, its a one-off and fun and since most of my ships are with Spuk anyway well...I feel comfortable to explore that with him without worrying about "Ohhh but Tarhos!"
――WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?
quiet cough nightbringer yasuo and whatever-bringer robin are pretty fruity ngl
Haru gets along really well with Durkos, Sander, and Alejandro! While I don't view them as romantically involved with eachother (thats a convo I'd have to have simply bc I never considered it) I do know that they deeply care for eachother and have had some sexual encounters.
――DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?
I generally like to confirm with my shipping partner that they feel the same way - just because I can see something doesn't mean they do, or vice verse and that's completely fine. While chemistry is, mostly, extremely obvious in a lot of cases, I still just prefer to confirm it.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?
To be completely honest I'm so horrible with shipping that I didn't even realize people really shipped things within the game; particularly since Riot isn't the best with making new champion interactions. I enjoy my mutuals ships, frankly, but I don't know if they would ever be something I would have thought of without them. Although a ship I DO love and absolutely delight in is GaloLio from Promare!
FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?
I realize I probably sounded super professional but IN ACTUALITY if theres chemistry please feel free to reach out! If you're enthusiastic about it and the chemistry is there then I'll feel comfortable! I love talking dynamics even past romantic shipping, so if you want to do a friendship or familal bond I'm down for talking about that too!
tagged by: @agonizedembrace @misstantabismuses @saviourofzaun ((thank you!)) tagging: I'm REALLY late with this but @bells-of-black-sunday ♥ and @sxlemnity @piltover-sharpshooter @arkyn-iceborn-vindication @the-flame-blade @thegoldentigress @noxfortid @magicshadowkitten
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Hello once more, dearly beloved Absol.
...Mariposa? Sounds lovely to me. ///// Aha, do not mind my flustered nature. I've never been 'nicknamed' before... and with such a beautiful name too! I have been well, and I hope you have been too. After all, where would I be without my beloved guide?
History does repeat itself! I find it amusing to see how newer trends are older fashion slightly revised to be more 'modern' or revised for a new purpose / movement. It's symbolic... and I think it's cute. The way you speak of fashion reminds me of the magazines I'd seen when I was younger, advertising the latest craze. Very informative, I enjoy it. I will look more into clothing for you, dearest guide. You've spoke life into an interest I hadn't realized I had. Though, I've always liked to study people. The intricate details of someone speak a considerable amount more than any words could! It can influence plenty about a person; self-esteem, mannerisms, etc. Clothing is just one way a person speaks of themselves, but it is sometimes the loudest part. Again, cute, adorbs!
Peppermint tea? Then, I must prepare some for you! ...To repay you for your guidance through Wonderland... and that is me wanting to be able to talk more, haha. I've been drinking green tea recently due to my illness, so what do you say to a toast for good health together?
Do not knock Jade Leech's sexy suspenders with a button up just yet! He's just learning all these different types of styles. After all, he's only just come to land... so he will need some time to explore all his options. He will do it well... I believe in my punk boyfriend!
I do... have 2 self-inserts. ////// 1 of which I pair with Jade Leech, the other with Riddle Rosehearts. Men I see with more of a grunge aesthetic personally! ////// Don't let me discuss my girls for too long. I'd talk and talk until the sun sets tomorrow if I do...!
As for Jade headcanons, any would do well. If I may be frank, I'd like to hear both! I'm enthusiastic for Jade, and I'm even more eager to see more of him here!
Until the next time we can speak, I thank you for your time. I'll be sure to return soon so we are not apart for long. - 🦋
My beloved Mariposa. I am happy to see you again, good afternoon. It’s past lunch time and I hope you had something to eat. Please remember to do so, you’ll feel fantastic if you do. I chose Mariposa since its the Spanish word for butterfly. Since I’ve been living in the south, I see the word in exchange more and more often that it becomes unusual to actually see the word ‘butterfly’. And it sounds like a cute name. Very elegant to me. I have been doing well! Mostly… Sleeping. I am getting my car fixed, but really… I am doing wonderful. Much better than ever.
It was my favorite to go shopping with my mom only to read magazines as we walked. Usually I would sneak into Cosmopolitan or if I saw Vogue or Rolling Stone I would grab those. I think fashion is meant to be a form of statement even if people don’t realize it. Like today, I had stayed up extremely late tossing and turning. And I prayed I wouldn’t have to go to work… So instead of properly getting dressed; I wore my pajamas. I agree that body language and studying others can teach you so much more about them than they ever could. Parts of them they won’t open up about you can slowly start to see as you grow closer with them. I think it’s wonderful but also a bit intimidating… I think Jade wouldn’t mind being your little test subject to study. As long as you let him do the same.
Oh I adore green tea. Peppermint helps me with bloating because I’ve been eating bad things my body can’t handle. I love green tea because it helps my metabolism so I don’t feel yucky. I would love to drink tea with you. I will invest in fancy cups and arrange snacks. It’ll be fun. For now, let’s cheer to improving our health. We only have one body per lifetime. So we have to take care of it.
Ahhhhhh… His button ups and suspenders make me feel shaken. I love how it looks but I also am a big fan of ‘flipping the script’. Mostro Lounge/Work Mode Jade… Removing his coat and scarf after a long day… His sleeves rolled up… Ahhhh he’s been gaining muscle so his clothes look tighter… I’m gonna… It’s gonna come out… I have to calm down… I want to see him in lots of different clothes as he experiences the wonders of living a life where clothing is necessary. I will dress him up again soon.
Two of them? Please, introduce me some time. I love Yumejoshi/danshi. I love the idea of falling in love with your favorite character so much that you make an OC to kiss them. I really don’t mind. I would love it. I have an OC I ship with Leona and an entire side blog for it.
I have a headcanon I can share, a small one since my message has gotten long… And I can always make posts about him! It’s a silly one but I think you can tell when Jade is stressed ONLY by if you see lint clinging to his clothes. I see him as a diet version of Patrick Bateman (in the worst way possible) and I think Jade is insanely clean. You can see in his dorm room since the Tweels actually share that Jade is extremely clean and put together. Which means he lint rolls, steams, and folds/hangs everything. I think only when he’s falling apart will you ever see something so… Natural… He’s great at hiding his feelings and keeping himself together visibly but this is the one thing he can’t escape. It’s a bit silly but… I like including it in writing. I have in the past but the fic has been taken down. I want to redo it one day.
Thank you for coming to chat with me, Mariposa. I cannot wait to see you again.
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asbestos-11 · 2 months
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Hi I'm back!!! Again!!! Maybe too soon???
I know that you're an mpreg enthusiast, so I was worried that my foster parent route wouldn't be to your tastes. But I'm glad to see that it is!!
But also I do enjoy ratio mpreg. I just think it's something that would have careful consideration from both parties, and would probably only happen a few years into the future. If they did it early, even by accident, I don't think either of them would call it a mistake. But it is something that can alter the course of their careers, and sometimes you can't predict how it would go. I've seen teachers have to bring in their own babies because they couldn't find a suitable babysitter in time, and the stress of taking care of teenagers/adults as well gets to them. (But this is Yaoi World, so maybe it shouldn't matter as much as it does to me. The need for my yaoi to be vaguely realistic sometimes ruins my brain.)
So maybe Ratio's students would just dote and play with his daughter whenever he has no other option but to bring her along. Whenever Papa Aventurine comes by to pick her up, his students get to witness their strict professor get all domestic. And they get a moment of hope that surely he's softened up today and won't be as difficult as usual! But then someone gets chalk thrown at them and their hopes and dreams are crushed. (One user on the forums comments : At least they make a cute family lol.)
When it comes to biological children designs, I'm such a sucker for making the child vaguely resemble a dead family member. Maybe that's cruel of me to find joy in but still. Though, I am between making their daughter have blonde hair or have her eyes resemble Aventurine's. Or maybe make her have Ratios eyes, so as to make double sure the dawn is shining down onto Aventurine. Or something. That quote did something to me ok. (Also I went to research genetics again, but then decided that family fluff is more important. Fuck logic. Whatever gives me the most joy.)
Honestly, I love exchanging thoughts on these two as well !!!! It's like we're building a little universe together. Or something. (Also, yes, I happen to be the same person, haha....... if you're specifically talking about the one titled Rachael......why do you ask.....,,,,.)
i feel u on the realism in yaoi, there's only so much suspension of disbelief that i can take b4 it gets too much.
tho that being said i'm sure they could find a babysitter/ daycare with all that money and influence they have. but in the times when they can't find someone to take care of the kid they take turns taking her to their workplace. depending on the work load one might stay at home and just do stuff online (i mean whenever aven isn't being a menace, i assume he works a normal office job).
ratio is such a tsundere lol and we love him for that
as for the design i'm a sucker for their daughter to look like mini aventurine, but like sometimes she looks too much like his sister and aven has to do a double take (also ur not cruel at all 4 that, i do that all the time with fankids lol). honestly screw genetics, i just put them in a blender and see what comes out of it :D tho i have 2 other daughters for them. the middle child has purple hair + aven's eyes while the youngest has like blonde hair + ratio's eyes. i also have like whole personalities made up 4 them and what kind of jobs they'd have (i am very invested in them).
ur fic did things to me ok?!!! i was giggling and kicking my feet all the way thru. ughhhh i loved it a lot ok??!!! i felt so so bad for ratio, but the hurt was so good. i'm actually obsessed with the fic, god ratio ddne is so delicious and we as a society should embrace that.
i love this lil universe, it's actually so fun and it makes me really happy bouncing ideas with each other!!
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filliteapot · 2 years
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How did you learn to be fine by yourself? I used to enjoy being alone and having only myself as my company. I was the odd one out in school, I was awkward ADHD kid who was too bubbly and too talktive, people found me annoying and too awkward to hang out with. I had to repeat the second grade of elementary school and there I became friends with a girl (let's call her S) with whom I started to write stories with. But when we moved to middle school and ended up in different classes, S found new, better and more interesting friends. I foolishly and desperately tried to keep this already dead friendship alive instead of letting go, I only hurt myself because S just didn't care about me or our friendship anymore, I didn't matter to her anymore nor did our stories. I guess she didn't have enough courage to tell me that she didn't want to be friends anymore or hang out with me anymore cause she mainly was very passive, like if I messaged her she would answer but her messages were very short and she never messaged me first, it was always me who approached her. I guess she was waiting for me to take a hint and I realize myself that we were over and walk away silently, I guess she felt she would have hurted me if she straightly told me that she didn't care to be friends with me anymore, maybe it felt awkward too for her. I finally gave up and went back to being alone again, but I should have moved on much sooner and earlier cause the aching stayed.
In high school I met another writing and roleplay enthusiast (let's call them K) via a mutual. At first it was so much fun, we talked to each other daily and roleplayed almost daily (many times we even stayed up roleplaying late into the night) we shared story ideas. But then things started to change before the pandemic, they changed even more during it. K didn't talk to me that much anymore. She doesn't talk to me about anything about anymore, she doesn't open up to my anymore. We used to be so close, I supported and comforted her when they were going through a painful one-sided love, and now I have no idea what is going on in her life. When I ask if something is wrong, she refuses to answer. I feel so stupid, especially since I open up to her but she won't do the same. At first I thought that maybe pandemic is affecting her but then I found out that she has been actively roleplaying with other people and she is writing a new story with new characters.
This weekend there was a comic related event in my hometown. And I accidentally bumped into K there. K lives in a different city, she has to take train to get here. She never mentioned that she was coming here nor did she suggest if we could meet or anything. And she was with someone, I didn't know this person cause I indeed don't anymore know what's going on in K's life cause she won't tell me about anything, she won't open up to me, not even when I ask, she just says it's too complicated or too long to tell or that I wouldn't understand cause I am not familiar with her friends. Now I fully realize that what happened with S is happening with K too; they both tolerated me for whatever good I brought to their life and then cut me out when I am not that good anymore.
I can't go through another situation where I try to cling onto a person and friendship which isn't there anymore. I want to back to the days where I liked being by myself, when I didn't long for and ache for companionship. I can't spend my energy on a person who just doesn't care about me or our friendship anymore. But how do I do that? Even now a part of me is trying to think how I can please K and how I can make her invested in our friendship again. But I know it's no use, I have to let go and move on, learn to be alone. Sorry for this horrible essay.
I guess I didn't really learn to be like this, I just was like this from the very start. I had a childhod friend who was 2 years younger than me (I guess at that time two years of difference mean a lot to children in the sense that things change rapidly and someone older than you more than two years is practucally adult) and went to a different school (which is also an important difference) and was way more social and needing people than I and thus she had a life of her own I had no desire to become a part of, with a whole circle of close people I didn't know and interests I didn't share - spending time together from time to time was enough. Years later I realized that I was probably more a safe space than a friend, and nowadays I wouldn't want to be content with just this role.
Anyway, this friendship ended with school, and I took it with no hurt: at that point I saw clearly we had no common ground to stand on and there was nothing to save. All my further exchanges with people went by this scheme: we have fun together > when trying to get closer some disagreements naturally appear and I keep silent about it > people start giving me hints I suck if don't support their point of view or have interests besides our common ground > I regret keeping slient and go off not really mourning the relationship.
I don't realy know what encouraging to say to you. I'm sorry about your situation and I hope things get better and you don't lose hope, but I have no advice. I do think tho that pleasing people and trying to revive a relationship that broke or faded away long ago usually brings no joy or satisfaction to anyone. I also don't think that keeping silent about things that make you uncomfortable and making compromises from one side to make it work without really talking about the problems (my failed strategy) is a good way. Also, a very important thing I got last year is: no common interest will save your relationship if you see the world and people in absolutely different ways, and people are not their interests and pleasant parts of personality they show but firstly these views and feelings and ways they treat people, and you'll have to deal with it if you want to call someone friend.
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elsecrytt · 3 years
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Elsey, elsey, elsey! What do you think of admiral leviathan?
I’m not much of a Levi fan, but I do appreciate a number of things about his character.
[Spoilers for season 3]
We know that Levi straight up fought in a war against the Devildom. And he wasn’t just like, on the frontlines. The dude was a general. He was so invested in this role that he fell into a massive slump when the war was over, and it’s more or less outright stated that manga/anime/games/etc. are his way of coping that’s taken over his life.
And to be fair, there’s not really anything wrong with it necessarily. Levi talks constantly about how he’s a shut-in and an otaku and his brothers kinda drag on him every now and then but nowhere near the level they do Mammon. He leaves his room, his house, AND does things, goes to student council meetings, etc.
Sure, he’s more enthusiastic than other people are about anime and action figures and what have you but like. There’s not actually any signs of him being not well-adjusted? His behaviors aren’t particularly unhealthy or anything, outside of the constant self-effacing attitude. He gets anxiety in some situations, but the dude is actually pretty normal when he’s chatting in scenes with the rest of the cast.
To be fair, “the rest of the cast” is mostly his brothers and his massive weirdo of a boss, but my point still stands. Levi kinda exaggerates his flaws. “Socially inept otaku” Levi you go to student council meetings and get good grades and complete all your work, like, what do you THINK a functional member of society looks like? XD
I wonder if it’s not in part caused by Lucifer. His brothers all SERIOUSLY look up to him and admire him, and I think especially the sins of Pride and Envy have really interesting interactions. Like if Levi’s talking himself down for not being Lucifer then a lot of it makes sense, because Lucifer makes a point of keeping up appearances, even when he’s genuinely uncomfortable (hellooooo season 1 Diavolo).
Anyways, concerning Levi as the Grand Admiral - I like to think, outside of the social situations where he feels an almost obligatory anxiousness, Levi is perfectly fine at performing his duties. If you have a kink for men in uniform (even as someone who doesn’t like Levi,,, I do remember That One Art) he’s probably pretty cool, but honestly I think he’s just? Very normal. Asks questions, gives instructions, does his job and leaves.
Since low key I do know people use “Grand Admiral” as a shorthand for “dom”, I’ll go ahead and give you my take on that, as well; I think Levi could be a pretty entertaining dom if he got into the right mood for it. I’m gonna be real and say the Admiral stuff itself just does nothing for me; this is more about Levi taking a more active/dominant role in general.
For me, the appeal of Levi lies completely in his enthusiasm, in the cute, shy creachure who can blab for hours about his favorite forms of media, who has endless passion and excitement for the things he loves. And I think that CAN translate into some really fun dom!Levi, just as well as sub!Levi… but I don’t think it has much to do with him being an Admiral; it has more to do with him being a gamer and a fan.
[nsfw-ish under the cut, mention of the use of toys, dom!levi, but nothing explicit]
My favorite pet headcanon of Levi as a dom is that he takes a more calculating, strategic approach to sex, like he does with his video games. Like. Man gets out all the toys, and keeps a goddamn scoreboard.
How many orgasms can he get out of you in this one session? How good are they? What’s his fastest time to get you to cum starting from nothing? What’s the longest time he’s managed to edge you while still getting you the orgasm in the end (he is endlessly apologetic after the inevitable session where he edges you for so long you aren’t able to climax at all)?
The goddamn weeb comes up with stats for each toy, what their effectiveness rating is in various categories (novelty, strength, difficulty of use, etc.) and he will give any given form of stimulation with any given toy a special move name, if you let him. Maybe even if you don’t. He is the dom here, after all. If he wants to make you cum with his Extra Press Slow-stroke Spinning Slash, then that’s what he’ll do, and you’ll lie there and take it!
(I know bullying Levi is fun and all, but bullying Levi fans is even more fun)
Leviathan is unironically very good at sex when he’s doing it like this - not necessarily in the emotional intimacy department stuff (although I’m pretty sure he’d do an AMAZING job with role play, so there you go, Admiral fans), but honestly he’s right up there with Asmo in terms of giving you a genuinely comfortable and pleasurable time.
He does a lot of checking in (in hilariously serious or business-like tones lmaooo,,, like think how you’d ask a teammate in a video game, “do you need more ammo?”) and also gets very good at reading your expressions and reactions. Levi compares it to memorizing a boss’s moves. He might even name them, so have fun with that.
Kajdshfkhfh ANYWAYS I hope that was enough food for the Levi stans - I have a few mutuals, on here and other places, who really really like him, so you can thank those people for me indulging you, otherwise this would have contained a lot less Levi praise and a lot more Stupid Sex Move Names hehehehe
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Hi! So, I absolutely love your series where the MC is the kid of Lucifer, and I was wondering if I could request that with Diavolo and Barbatos? •v•
:0 you definitely can! Right now I’m just doing Diavolo, but Barb’s will be up sometime soon!
MC is Half Demon and Oh Shit They’re Diavolo’s Kid-
Diavolo wasn’t exactly what one would expect of the prince of Hell, I mean, he was suppressing the urge to bounce in his seat from pure excitement. I mean, his exchange program was starting! Humans, demons, and angels, all together, his dream was coming true.
All that was left was for the student to arrive, the portal opened, and the human fell flat on their back. Oof, maybe Diavolo should have set up some kind of landing zone filled with pillows. No matter! The human was-
What peculiar eyes this human had…
Oh… oh dear…
Dad-volo
The MC was his child, no question about it. This was… very unexpected. Well, the entire assembly hall was completely quiet, and the kid looked like they were getting impatient.
“HEY! Mind telling me what the hell is going on?!”
After that, Diavolo launches into his explanation, also the explanation that he’s definitely this kid’s dad. Kid was not impressed, they tried to square up with Diavolo and Lucifer had never been more confused as to what to do.
Well, the moment MC sprouted wings and launched themselves at Diavolo, Dia caught them with one hand and continued speaking like nothing happened.
MC, please calm down… Diavolo didn’t know they existed, let him make it up to them! They’re going to stay at the Demon Lord’s Castle! Dia’s going to be a good dad!
“This feels like the plot to the world’s most messed up fairytale.” MC jammed their hands into their pockets and grumbled. “I get sucked into hell and find out I’m royalty there. Great.”
Diavolo managed to smile and awkwardly reach out to give them a pat on the head, then retracted his hand after the kid shot him a glare. “Well, it’s not a very traditional fairytale, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time here.”
“Mm, sure.” MC mumbled.
Okay, so his child wasn’t that enthusiastic about the exchange program, but Diavolo was sure they’d come around.
Dia tried everything he could possibly think of to get his kid to both like him and enjoy their time as an exchange student. A lot of things had… mixed results.
Also, legally recognizing MC as his child and legitimizing them caused a big stink amongst the nobles who were opposed to the exchange program to begin with. So MC then had to deal with a few assassins. Wonderful. Fantastic. Show stopping. Dia, be a good dad and comfort your angsty murder target- I MEAN preteen.
They do manage to build a good relationship fairly quickly despite their less than stellar first impressions, and Diavolo made them a promise that he knew he wouldn’t ever break: he would let them live as normal a childhood as possible.
This means that MC gets to do all the normal kid stuff that Diavolo wasn’t allowed to do. It honestly works out great for everyone. MC gets to live their life, Diavolo gets the satisfaction of knowing that his kid’s having fun, and Barbatos doesn’t need to worry about MC causing chaos in the castle.
Man… does this kid’s magic potential scare the shit out of everyone though…
Tired Uncle Lucifer
No. This has to be a violation of his worker rights. It cannot be legal for him to be this stressed.
He knew this exchange program was a bad idea. LUCIFER FUCKING KNEW IT. This kid was judging him. Why did he suddenly feel self conscious about every single one of his features? This child was picking him apart and they hadn’t even said anything!
He confiscated Asmo’s phone immediately, this was a matter of national security! Satan’s too! Beel as- oh shit Lucifer may have to give Beel the heimlich maneuver, then take his phone.
When all the brothers eventually got back to the HOL, they were greeted with Mammon getting shaken down by Levi.
“Lucifer! Ya won’t believe this! Levi- what’s wrong with you?” “The exchange student is Diavolo’s child.” “What..?” “*pops the cork off a bottle of Demonus* the exchange student’s Diavolo’s child.”
The worst part about this kid was that they took to the privileges of being royalty like a fish to water. MC went out and did whatever the fuck they wanted, and Lucifer needed to make sure a state of national emergency wasn’t called just because MC picked a fight at RAD.
It didn’t help that MC was just so unimpressed with Lucifer. Anytime Lucifer would tell them not to do something they would just raise their eyebrows and challenge his authority without saying a word.
What the fuck.jpg
The things he does for his prince boyfriend…
Cool Uncle Mammon
Huh, so this little pipsqueak is Lord Diavolo‘s kid? Hm, do ya think they’d let him into the royal treasury? No? Okay… lame.
Mammon then decides this kid would be just perfect for scamming people! Who is going to say no to the Crown Prince’s kid? A suicidal person, that’s who!
And the kid is… up for it? Wow, Mammon didn’t even have to grovel! Awesome!
It’s such a shame that Lucifer came in and promptly removed MC from Mammon’s presence. Tsk, killjoy…
Mammon and MC do get along swimmingly after MC stops angsting. Whenever they hang out it’s pure chaos.
And they would have gotten away with it too- wait, they do get away with it. Because who’s going to question the Crown Prince’s kid? >:)
Reclusive Uncle Leviathan
Levi was in the middle of throttling Mammon for his money back when Lucifer burst through the door looking like he had spent over 1000 Grimm on a gacha game only to not get the card he wanted.
And where was that human he said would be staying with them? Huh? The human’s HUH????!!!!
… wack. Maybe he shouldn’t have skipped out on that Student Council Meeting…
Either way, ew, new person he needed to talk to. NO THANKS. Well, no thanks until MC started to visit the HOL to hang out with Mammon. Of course those two normies decided to bug him. OF COURSE.
Levi finally snapped when MC loudly proclaimed that they could totally beat Levi in Mario Kart. Haha, NO. Levi challenged the little runt to a 1 v 1 race on Rainbow Road.
Kid lost. Obviously. Rainbow Road is rigged.
Honestly, kid’s alright. Still a total normie, but not completely terrible.
Cat Uncle Satan
Huh, a half human child of the soon to be demon king, how very interesting.
Oh, and just look at Lucifer’s face. :D priceless. Satan wished he was fast enough to get his DDD out to snap a picture, but he wasn’t able to…
But back to MC, oh how very intriguing. How much power do they have in comparison to Diavolo? Will using that power rip their fragile little body apart? Would they learn to control it? Satan was just dying to find out.
His feelings on the child themselves were mixed at best. They were clearly unhappy with the situation and Satan could sympathize, being thrust into a completely new world and then being told you can’t leave and are also royalty? That has to be hard. But this kid was still being an unreasonable little shit.
Satan continued to try and study MC from afar until the kid themselves walked right up to him and half demanded half pleaded for his help in studying for a test.
Not being one to avoid an opportunity to flex how smart he is, Satan agreed to help out. (Nerrrrd)
And honestly, it went well. When the kid wasn’t being a little shit, they were actually quite pleasant to be around.
Overly Affectionate Uncle Asmo
…wut
Listen, when Asmo asked Lucifer to pick a cute human, he didn’t mean cute as in CHILD.
This kid was DIAVOLO’S?! What lucky human had gotten to have the experience of [Jesus Fucking Christ, Asmo I’m not writing what he said for the sake of the nation]
Anyhoo~ little MC just made his heart go “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO CUTE!” They were so cute Asmo could just eat them up!
But they were so mean! That scowl they always had on was going to give them wrinkles and ruin their perfectly cute face!
Sigh, oh well. He can’t manually rearrange people’s expressions. What he can do is take this child shopping. Poor Diavolo was constantly in his RAD uniform, this poor innocent baby shouldn’t have to suffer the same fate.
The kid continued to scowl at everything, but at the same time, their little quips were very entertaining. This little kid spitting verbal venom at anyone who displeased them reminded Asmo of someone… he just couldn’t place who, but they definitely had amazing hair and a cute face :3
Hungry Uncle Beel
Where’s the takeout- I mean human? What’s happening? …are all humans this small? Dang, that’s barely enough for a snack.
So the human’s not going to live with us because they’re not fully human and Diavolo’s kid? Huh. Wild. Anyway, what’s for dinner?
Beel’s not too invested in this drama, he misses Belphie too much to be that interested…
The kid’s weirdly interested in how cool and strong Beel is though. MC tails him to the gym pretty often.
Diavolo and Beel already being gym buddies send tweet-
Since this benevolent little shit likes Beel so much, they decided to take it upon themselves to help with the family drama.
Beel finds that very sweet 🥺
Murder sleepy Uncle Belphie
Oh man… if you thought Belphie was being unfair to L!MC due to their parentage… hoo boy…
When this kid waltzed up the attic steps like they ran the place, Belphie needed to hold himself back from trying to break down the door and throttle this kid.
Pff, of course Diavolo would have a half human kid. Of course.
…kid beat the shit out of him when he tried to kill them. We stan this MC.
After all is said and done, Belphie still isn’t overly fond of MC. They’re brash and rude and only funny 40% of the time. They don’t even like napping 😒
But Beel likes the little runt, so Belphie and MC put up with each other.
Bonus! Your Angelic Uncle Simeon’s Chihuahua
:0 friend!
MC: *speaks*
>:0 not friend! Begone! *throws crucifix*
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rebelsandtherest · 2 years
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ok so like i was thinking and america is very science adjacent. so i was wondering if sometimes he goes on these scientific rants and like do older nations just smile and nod? like i know for awhile that france was like the head of science internationally.
but like i can only imagine if he just went on a long science rant with like france or england maybe… they’d just have to grin and bear it.
It highly depends on what kind of science and who the other nation is. Both Francis and Arthur are intellectuals in their own ways, and are both, to a certain point, interested in science. They aren't the "nerdy" sort of science enthusiast that Alfred is, but they love a good rousing discussion on certain topics now and again. However, their preferred topics are fairly straightforward; advances in mechanical engineering, locomotion, etc. Francis is especially fond of all the flashy experiments used in classes to demonstrate scientific laws or principles. Arthur usually becomes a bit preoccupied regaling the youth with rose-tinted tales of the Industrial Revolution. Neither Francis nor Arthur are incredibly invested in earth or life sciences, but will listen and be happy to learn the latest developments from Alfred's ramblings.
However. There comes a point where the eyes glaze over and they nod along, barely withholding the "oh my god Alfred no one cares"—and to be fair, that sometimes slips out too. Astrophysics, theoretical math, atomic physics, quantum theory, and anything having to do with computer technology is where they begin to tune out.
Other older nations are far more likely to meet Alfred in the middle and keep up with his knowledge and enthusiasm. China will certainly meet Alfred's knowledge in most things, but they'll usually end up arguing about something. South Korea absolutely matches Alfred's energy 100%, and even if they start talking about wildly untested theories that only one of them partially understands, they're both having a great time so no need to spoil their fun. India likes discussing science and engineering—particularly aerospace engineering—with Alfred, but often finds him a tiring conversationalist because he tends to bounce from idea to idea without pausing to diver deeper into India's interests, leaving the poor guy with a headache by the time Alfred lets him get a word in edgewise.
The two older nations I think are most receptive to Alfred's ramblings (like, just willing to sit there and listen and occasionally engage when Alfred possibly, hopefully pauses for breath) are Japan and, hear me out, Scotland.
Kiku is and always been an extremely shrewd handler of Alfred, and will happily let the American go off on longwinded tangents, biding his time to speak up so he can direct the trajectory of their discussion into something he is most interested in, allowing Alfred to think it was his idea. That being said, very often they reach a point of mutual interest, and rather than stop him, Kiku starts rambling right back at him, which Alfred does back to him, and so forth, and next thing you know, they're building an honest to god flying car in Alfred's backyard and shhh don't tell the FAA, it's fine, what's the worst that could happen? This is a telecom deadzone, how're they gonna know?
Alisdair is by and large a listener, and he often doesn't fully understand the more digital or theoretical sciences. For Alisdair, half of the enjoyment of listening to Alfred ramble about science is about just how much it lights up his face, how enthused and in love with the scientific world he is. Scotland was and still is in many ways the scientific heart of Britain's intellectuality, and amongst the Kirkland orbit, Alisdair was, until Alfred came along, very much the one in the family most susceptible to long rants about science. His key interests are in medicine, geology, geography, chemistry, and life sciences, but he'll listen to just about anything so long as it's told with enthusiasm. He likes teaching Alfred about the scientific history he's too young to remember, and he likes learning cutting edge developments in his favorite fields that Alfred happened to hear about before him. It's a very "mentor nerd and baby genius nerd" relationship between the two of them. Alfred loves taking Alisdair on hikes, because between the two of them, they can identify just about every flora, fauna, and geology they find.
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alluringjae · 3 years
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au cours de l’été - jjh
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⤑ translation: over the summer
⤑ summary: this is a story of an exhausted painter who needed a breather from the hectic city life. so aside from moving to the countryside, the needed air in your lungs also came in the form of a person. this summer meant for pure relaxation, perhaps your heart may dive into him too.
⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader
⤑ word count: 15.2k (so much for saying that i’ll be writing shorter stories)
⤑ genre: fluff, romance, smut | author!jaehyun, painter!reader, strangers to lovers!au, 50s-60s!au, summer love in france!au
⤑ warnings: me inserting some french phrases because I want to practice (feel free to correct me if I made mistakes, i’ll appreciate them), fictional interpretations of real-life people, explicit language, jaehyun being such a romantic pls im in tears, mentions and scenes of burnout (the worst)
⤑ playlist: everybody loves somebody by dean martin | c’est si bon by eartha kitt | it’s always you by chet baker | les yeux ouverts by emilie-claire barlow | a sunday kind of love by etta james | the most beautiful thing by bruno major | try again by jaehyun and d.ear (duh) | free love (dream edit) by honne | petite fleur by jill barber | plus je t’embrasse by blossom dearie | so this is love by ilene woods and mike douglas
⤑ author’s note: this was an idea that just came to me after pinterest kept recommending me poetic beauty/try again jaehyun, so here we are! i intended to write less than 5k words but sometimes plans don’t go as planned once you really invest in the story yet i’m really happy how this turned out!
the romantic exhilaration in my bones are off the charts because this is jaehyun we’re talking about lol enjoy!
⤑ masterlist
⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!
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3 juin 1957
The city life overstimulated your entire system, losing your brainpower and inspiration. Another exhibition that’ll feature your works with other influential painters was happening at the end of the year, and you had nothing prepared so far. You’ve crashed to the deep end of creative fatigue.
So you needed to get away again; somewhere quieter and surrounded by nature.
That’s why you ended up in the countryside down south, somewhere within Provence. It’s purely just for the summer, but extensions were okay as long you get back at least a month before the show. Filing that leave of absence at the studio you worked at was worth it.
You rented an apartment overlooking the marketplace, where the heart of the village was. After arranging things from your boxes and luggage the entire day, you found out that you lacked in the food department.  
So the succeeding day, the entire morning was spent on grocery shopping downstairs then stocking them inside your refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. Right after changing out of your pajamas into a flowy floral dress and sandals, you decided to bike to the bakery that locals suggested. A must-go place for newcomers, they all raved.
“Café des Étoiles Perdues.” (Café of Lost Stars.)
The clear chimes of the bell resounded through the small, cottage-like lobby as you entered inside. An old woman, whom you assumed was the owner, welcomed you openly.
“Oh la la, vous êtes belle! Vous vous appelez (Y/N), la nouvelle venue, n'est-ce pas?” (Oh la la, you’re beautiful. Your name is (Y/N), the newcomer, right?)
She complimented, making you shyly mutter your answer. Wiping off the flour from her apron, she introduced herself kindly.
“Je m’appelle Camille. Mes spécialités sont les macarons pisctaches et des croissants avec des amandes. Autre chose que tu aimes?” (I’m Camille. My specialties are the pistachio macarons and croissants with almonds. Is there anything else you like?)
“J'aime tout ce que vous suggères, Madame.” (I’d like anything that you suggest, Madame.)
A younger man, who went by Jaemin, was a part-timer barista who asked for your coffee order. As he directed you to the best seat of the café, which was outside overlooking the garden of blooming sunflowers, you pulled out your sketch pad so you could capture this dreamy view. It was nothing like you’ve ever seen in your life.
You’ve decided on a theme already for your exhibit thanks to your conversations with locals yesterday, which was related to freedom. After being chained to cities for so-called better living and financial standards, it’s actually how your inspiration to create squeezed the life out of you like a lemon. Although it was fun at first to see those tourist spots, it eventually got tiring.
Another matchstick to graze intensity through your bones was what you prayed for.
While you’re engaged in a rough sketch of the scenery, the dandy presence of a young man entered the café with his books. White shirt, red trousers with a matching beret, he sported freckles on his pale face. Despite visiting his favorite café numerously, Camille was overjoyed to see him and his serene smiles.
“Jaehyun! What brings you here?”
“Bonjour, Madame! I’m starving for your croissants because I ran out back home.”
“Not to worry! I’ll pack up some so you’re on your way.” She lightened him up like one of her kids, taking one of the bigger paper bags.
“No rush though, Madame. I’ll be reading and working here for a bit here.” Jaehyun affirmed, bringing it out his wallet and called out for Jaemin.
“Un café crème, s’il vous plait.” (One cup of cappuccino, please.)
Jaehyun’s usual chair was by the large window, overseeing the wide garden planted by the citizens of the village way before he was born. It was places like this he missed after moving to the city for his education and work’s sake. 
That’s the thing when you’re coming from a rich family; you don’t have much of say with what your parents order you to do. However, his recent request to stay in his childhood home (or mansion) again was fulfilled because he couldn’t search for what he needed in the cities anymore.
Jaehyun was a sucker for romance; an old romantic others would say. A lot of women mistook his kindness as flirting on many occasions, but ironically he just wasn’t looking for anyone yet. 
Starting as a novelist in the said genre based on real-life stories of people he met in Paris, Barcelona, London, and more, his stories were popular hits especially to young adults who aspire to find love one day.
However, traveling to the known places no longer felt fun as he got older. The stories he gathered were very similar, just in different languages. It took an enthusiastic dinner with his family, specifically his only older sister Krystal retelling fond stories from their younger years to get the idea of moving back for a bit. So consumed with the city life, he wanted to see things from another perspective.
What was the difference between a love story formed in the countryside than in the city?
It’s been a month since he arrived, but he didn’t hurry himself to do his research. He’s been reading books in his family library, revisiting monumental places, exploring around the village, and reconnecting with old friends as if he never left. 
Readjusting to his former life would make writing easier when he’s motivated enough to do it again. Besides, his books were profiting well enough to his taste; good enough for the next 10 years according to his personal accountant, Kim Jungwoo.
Jaehyun resumed reading this book his mother recommended him before he left. Entitled “Réessaye”, which was about a young man who reunites with his childhood sweetheart after his arranged marriage failed. After what she put her through, he’s hesitant whether to try again or let her go.
Jaehyun enjoyed reading books with realistic outlooks on love because he found them more meaningful, enlightening how exactly it makes you feel and do. Even if he enjoyed reading sappy, fairytale-like stories from time to time, he always returned to the real ones as they only displayed the truth.
That love isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, but something that can also break you especially if you go after the wrong person. This kind of mindset was how he toiled on his stories, which gained him a status outside of his unavoidable labels such as “the only striking son of the Jeong family” or “Valentine Boy”.
He diligently browsed through the climax, where the main male character confessed all his constrained emotions to his sweetheart. But it was until Jaemin pressed the bag of croissants in front of his face after placing down his childhood friend’s drink to disturb his peace.
“Reading again?” He taunted, snatching his book away and throwing the bag on Jaehyun’s lap. “When are you writing that book already? Everyone is practically dying for you to release something new again!”
Jaehyun flatly shook his head, drinking his coffee quietly. It’s not the first time anyone asked (or pressured) him about his next release, and it’s the last thing he wanted to think about. “Not in the mood right now, Jaemin. Now off to work before Madame Camille scolds you again.”
“You’re just stalling because you have nothing to write, don’t you?” Jaemin cunningly expressed, raising a brow. He’s known to catch onto the people’s bs easily; the last person you’d want to say your secrets too and Jaehyun realized too late. Though lucky for him, Jaemin shut the topic down right away so he wouldn’t pop a vein.
“Sais-tu de la nouvelle venue dans le village, d'ailleurs?” (Do you know about the newcomer in the village, by the way?)
“Une nouvelle venue?” (A newcomer?)
Being stuck at his mansion recently, news about village affairs were now late to him. Jaemin’s finger discreetly pointed outside the window, pertaining to a young woman sat outside painting her view in front of her.
That would be you, shading all the flowers in bright colors.
Seeing a new face amazed Jaehyun, especially when she was almost someone right out of a book. In a neat bun with white daisies printed in her dress, she crossed her legs whilst continuing her movements. She bit her lower lip, frustrated over an accidental smudge she made and trying to fix it by blending it with another color. When she accomplished it, she swapped brushes. A thinner one, to outline the shapes of the flower. Her lips curved to a smile after finishing another one perfectly with the rest.
“Jaehyun?”
Jaemin snapped his fingers to his distracted friend, zoning out the window. Still something he hasn’t stop doing, he pondered. With a final snap, Jaehyun broke away from falling hard from his abstract. Jaemin calculated the problem so quickly, analyzing his friend breezily like his medical school requirements.
“Elle est splendide, n'est-ce pas?” (She’s gorgeous, right?)
“Elle ressemble à une personne décente.” (She looks like a decent person.)
Jaehyun pushed it aside, flipping back to the page where he stopped reading. Before Jaemin responded, the door chimed open again to alarm him that a new customer came in. He excused himself to his friend, warning him that this wasn’t the last time he’ll talk about the newcomer too.
Jaehyun nodded along, not taking his friend’s cheeky words so seriously. However, the final result you attempted to create tickled his curiosity, so he slyly peeked from his book to the window.
You’ve freed your hair down, victorious to have started your collection this early in your break. A fantastic start, you let the paint dry first and munch on the croissant that served as your reward. However, you ‘re quick to notice a manly figure glancing through the window. From the side, his brown eyes appeared lively even if his entire face was hidden by the book.
Réessaye by Mark Lee; he must be a romantic. Every person in your studio read it, excluding yourself. Painfully beautiful, they’d summarize it.
Daring to meet more people, you locked eye contact with him. He didn’t expect it, almost flipping from his chair. Bashfully, you waved him a hello to somewhat break the ice. However, it broke his composure, and suddenly, he scurried off with his things from the café.
Now, you got quite worried. You checked your tiny mirror if he saw anything unpleasant with you, but you’d say you look relatively fine. Oh, maybe you could redeem yourself the next time you saw him. After bidding goodbye to Camille and Jaemin, the latter chased after you when you prepared yourself on your bike.
“By any chance, did you say hi to a guy with brown eyes and a red beret?”
“Well, more like I waved at him, then he zoomed out. Did I do something wrong?” You questioned with concern, putting your hands on the handles.
“That’s my friend, who’s quite reserved with strangers. I’m sorry on his behalf.”
“Nah, it’s fine.” You brushed it off politely. “See you again soon, Jaemin!”
Peddling away, letting the cool breeze fan you, your mind reverted its thoughts to that strange man. Maybe you’ll give it some time; you had a lot of it.
“Shucks, he was pretty cute.”
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12 juin 1957
The world must really be on your side with these good decisions because you crossed paths with the strange man again in the café a week later. But instead of running away, he asked nicely if he could sit across your free chair in front of your table outside. It was a Saturday, and the place was packed.
“Joignez-moi, s’il vous plait.” (Join me, please.)
You insisted, giving yourself time to subtly observe his physique a lot more. Freckles dotted under his eyes like a constellation, bushy eyebrows, pink cheeks to match his pale complexion, and wearing a fuzzy knit sweater that meshed well with his green beret. He had some sort of necklace too; there was a heart pendant.
“Vous êtes une artiste.” (You’re an artist.) The small wooden palette of paint beside your small sketch pad was exposed, finding it as a great icebreaker.
“Une peintre, spécifiquement. Franchement, les visuels ici sont trés captivants qu'à Paris.” (A painter, to be specific. Frankly, the visuals here are more captivating than in Paris.)
“Je suis d’accord,” (I agree,) Jaehyun leaned against his chair, taking a better look at you with the remaining light from the descending sun.
“Oh, vous êtes comme moi. J’habite à Paris aussi.” (Oh, you’re like me. I live in Paris too.)
“Bon, je suis née à Londres. Puis, j’ai déménagé où je voulais en Europe depuis j'avais 18 ans. Mais oui, j’habite définitivement à Paris maintenant.” (Well, I was born in London then moved wherever I wanted in Europe for inspiration since I was 18. But yes, I live permanently in Paris now.)
You clarified, beginning to enjoy his comforting company. Initiating conversations with people you’re not acquainted with wasn’t in your range of skills, though he didn’t have an intimidating vibe. He looked too youthful to act like that.
“Je m’appelle (Y/N), d'ailleurs.” (I’m (Y/N), by the way.) You stuck out your hand as a sign of respect, which he enthusiastically obliged.
“Salut, (Y/N). Je m’appelle Jaehyun.” [Hi, (Y/N). I’m Jaehyun.]
He kissed it in a gentleman fashion, applying the manners he’s been taught since he was a child. Should you have been flustered, but no.  It’s been a long time since anyone greeted you like that, specifically back home.
Throughout your talk, you learned more about who he was, his job, and what his life in the countryside is like. He was an author of romance novels, yet you’ve never heard about him prior. Heavily prioritizing your work, you don’t keep up with the new releases or trends at all. Though after mentioning his last name, it piqued your interest.
“Jeong? As in the business, Jeong Tea Inc.?”
“Correct.”
His family was one of the most affluent families in Parisian society. Old money immigrants from South Korea, they brought their tea business to France and it boomed successfully. You’re quite sure you’ve seen his parents in past exhibits, but never did you approach them because you were a rookie then. But he reassured you that it was fine, and to just treat him like you’d treat your friends. Plus, it came to your knowledge that he was the same age as you too.
He opened up how this village was where he lived his childhood, so he asked his parents if he could hand over their mansion for a while for rest. It then shocked both of you at how identical your reasons were for staying in the countryside.
“I’m burnt out from the city, so I’m trying to regain my spirit here hopefully. Besides, I needed a change of scenery after living there for 3 years. My longest stay yet outside of London!”
“I need new ideas for my books. The cities don’t charm me anymore, so I returned here for peace and quiet. Maybe let these ideas come to me rather than me going after them.”
From a bigger lens, people would conclude your interaction as a sight of two artists who passionately talk about their art. But to you, you’d interpret it as two relaxed, young adults in their twenties who simply wanted to run away from the pressures of their art and enjoy the summer as every young adult should.
Not cooped up in the studio or office, but innocently waltzing around with your youth while it’s still there.
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début de juillet 1957
“Dépêche-toi, (Y/N)!” [Hurry up, (Y/N)!]
Jaehyun yelled at your open balcony from downstairs, parking his mini car beside your bike. He planned on taking you somewhere a little farther this time; to absolutely feel like one of the locals.
The countryside urged you to wear more dresses and flat shoes, so you took out a turquoise dress with a white scarf to wrap on top of your head. Like your relaxed fit, your mindset too was calm. Upon meeting him, he wore his round spectacles with a red knit sweater over a white turtleneck long-sleeved top. His fingers were adorned with silver rings, then around his neck was a thin black ribbon. He curled some of his hair again, a style you really liked of his.
You can’t lie, but this man could pull any trend or style and still look extra pretty.
Out of all the locals you’ve befriended in your stay, Jaehyun was always your companion. He took you to varying places that those locals don’t visit nor tourists acknowledge in their reviews for the past few weeks. For someone who hasn’t been in the village for a long time, his memory didn’t disappoint. His childhood was only filled with cheerful moments.
Today, he was taking you to a peaceful district of shops in the farther part of the village. It’s where he’d buy sweets, journals, and accessories with his mother, Krystal, and one of his housemaids every other weekend.
All the stores there were currently bombarded with blooming flowers along their alley, bringing more enticement to those who were roaming around. There was so much life here; the head waiter of one restaurant smiling at every passing customer, one florist handing a free flower to anyone who asks, and a young lady showcasing her jewelry collection to a bunch of women who looked like tourists.
“Cette librairie vendent des livres enveloppés dans du papier. Ma mère m'a offerte l'un d'eux pour mon anniversaire tous les ans comme une surprise.” (This bookstore sells books wrapped in paper. My mother gifted me one of them on my birthday every year as a surprise.)
He trained his attention at a rustic shop with open wooden windows giving a glimpse of their shelves.
“Avez-vous fini les lisant?” (Have you finished reading them?)
“Du début à la fin.” (From cover to cover.)
He took you to this rooftop restaurant overlooking the entire plaza. Since he didn’t arrange a reservation yet didn’t get rejected, he must know the owner. Especially how a lot of the staff gave casual hellos and high fives.
Speaking of the owner, he walked out of his kitchen to introduce himself to you. He went by the name Moon Taeil, another one of Jaehyun’s childhood friends whom he used to play at his house whenever his parents came along.
Gobbling up in the appetizing food Taeil prepared beforehand, Jaehyun brought up your painting exhibition again. He loved hearing artists talk about their works, wanting to know more about their driven mindset and what their imagination is like. After all, it does vary for everyone.
“So far,” You poked your fork through the chicken, taking a bite of it. “I’ve produced 3 paintings. The garden of flowers outside Café des Étoiles Perdues, the kids playing hopscotch in the alley, and the peach tree outside your house.”
“Woah, you’re on a roll.” Jaehyun clapped across you, pouring you another glass of water. He recalled the nights you ranted not having any clue what to do for the exhibit. Then after taking you to more places, he’s rewarded to see you be creatively active again. “How many artworks do you left to make?”
“Around 3-4 left. I have ideas already, but I’m still brainstorming.” You internally rejoiced, loving how much progress you’ve made. “How about you, Jaehyun? How’s your progress?”
Unlike you, Jaehyun still felt stuck. Although he did find couples around the village, none of them intrigued him as much as his past stories. But he won’t give up easily; that’s not in his work ethic.
“Still searching, but I’ll get there.”
Recently, you got ahold of some of Jaehyun’s books from him personally since they weren’t sold in the village. You wanted to understand how he became so well known outside the labels people put him under. Reading his first novel entitled “Des Papillons” (Butterflies), it was about a couple separated during World War II without contact or knowledge about their well-being. Yet whenever they saw butterflies on the day they parted, they took it as a sign that the other was alive wherever they were.
You’re always hanging on the cliff when the scenes revert back and forth to the main male lead getting stuck in intense war scenarios, rooting for him to get out alive each time. In the end, it took 7 years before they were reunited and wed.
Jaehyun had a wonderful way with his words and descriptions, managing to enwrap you in as if you’re also a character in the book. Like how you rooted for that male lead, you’re rooting for him to find his spark again.
Following this uplifting conversation, Jaehyun finally took to your greatly anticipated spot. It was the main viewpoint of Gordes, one of the most beautiful hilltop villages in the country. The sunset was about to hit, and the lights from the city across you slowly turned on like a bunch of dominos.
As you marveled at its aesthetics, Jaehyun leaned against the hood of his car. He sensed how in awe you were, more than you ever were in the city he assumed. So used to the city that being surrounded with nature became foreign to you.
He took out his polaroid camera from his trunk and captured a photo of you from behind. The shutter sounds were obvious, turning your back at the commotion. Jaehyun fanned the freshly printed photo to dry, giving a mischievous smile.
“What can I say? While you’re fawning over the view, mine was more enamoring.”
Although Jaehyun felt overwhelmed the first time he locked eyes with you, he can’t resist the power of his developing feelings for you. The more time he took you around, the more his heart found different details about you to admire. After listening to all those love stories in the past, the people he spoke to shared how there will be some distinct moment where your heart decides who they’re longing for.
That exact view of you by the cliff, he already knew.
He’s infatuated by you.
“Tu es très ringard, Jaehyun.” (You’re so cheesy, Jaehyun.) You scoffed sassily, with a hand on your waist.
“Un gentleman ne ment jamais, (Y/N). Allez, il fait nuit maintenant.” [A gentleman never lies, (Y/N). Come on, it’s night already.]
He cleverly responded, grabbing his car keys from his pocket. The trip back to the village was energizing, putting down the roof of his car to relish the chill breeze of the night weather. You even raised your arms in the air, losing your scarf even from the speed Jaehyun went at!
The two of you belted along to the songs on the radio when the fields were the only ones surrounding you, no neighbors to shout at your rambunctiousness.
The late-night hours drew by so quickly almost like dinner with more of Jaehyun’s friends didn’t happen. Arriving at the front doors of your apartment complex, Jaehyun raced over to your side to open your door. Always maintained proper observation of manners, you appreciated that side of him. Rarely anyone in Paris that you’ve encountered treated you that way because you were a foreigner.
“Bonsoir, (Y/N).” [Goodnight, (Y/N).]
“Bonsoir, Jaehyun. Quand est-ce que je te revois?” (Goodnight, Jaehyun. When can I see you again?)
“Demain et après-demain. Appelle-moi quand tu es libre.” (Tomorrow, and the day after that. Just give me a call when you’re free.)
With a short wave, you entered your building and marched up to the stairs. A good day only meant being tired to the core, ready to crash and fall in your soft bed. Opening your wide windows to let more of the cool breeze in, your eyes easily caught Jaehyun’s classy car still there. As for the owner, he didn’t move an inch from his leaning position.
“Rentre à la maison, Jaehyun! C’est tard!” (Go home, Jaehyun! It’s late!) You shrieked, peeking side to side to make sure none of the neighbors scold you.
Jaehyun laughed wholeheartedly, not budging at all. “La nuit ne fait que commencer, ma chérie.” (The night has just begun, my darling.)
“Comment tu m'as appelé?” (What did you call me?)
Either your ears were fooling you or he addressed you by a divine pet name. The gasp you swallowed, as your entire body tingled with exhilaration. Your mind would simply disregard it like his former teasing words, but your heart begged to differ.
Rather than responding with words, Jaehyun’s voice serenaded you with a wondrous song, C’est Si Bon by Eartha Kitt, that played on the radio earlier. Out of the blue, a random guitar accompaniment followed his baritone vocals.
“En voyant notre mine ravie,”
Against the railing of your wired balcony, your body shifted forward to watch him better.
“Les passants dans la rue, nous envient,”
Your hand perched on your cheek, admiring his talent.
“C'est si bon de guetter dans ses yeux,”
It was like a lullaby, and here you were drowning in its peacefulness. Sensing the passion he gives off in his singing, your heart couldn’t refrain the strings inside from being swayed and tugged.
This was your moment of realization: that you too were smitten.
“Un espoir merveilleux, qui donne le frisson…”
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À la mi-juillet de 1957
“Hello, nature!” You greeted brightly as your legs raced the huge garden in his manor. It was the first time he invited you over, too lazy to go out of the city. His social battery needed a recharge for the weekend, so a picnic within his home would do the trick. Additionally, it was an excuse to bring you over after the numerous times you’ve begged him to.
Jaehyun merely shook his head, enjoying the rush of childlike fun in your veins while you squealed and grazed your hands through the flowers.
He carried a wooden basket full of treats his family maids cooked, taking his time to venture through the rows of flowers. They were growing healthily and phenomenally these days, sometimes riding his bike to personally water them since he became busy with writing again. Lately, he found inspiration again, and so he wrote day and night to set them free.
“Voila!” You yanked out a sunflower, sniffing it a little. “Come on, Jaehyun! Pick up a few for our lunch!”
He followed your order, picking out some he found ideal. But just for fun, he put down the basket and carried you from behind out of the blue. You tried kicking him away, but his muscular arms can’t compete with your soft ones.
“What are you doing?”
“You said to pick up a flower, so I did. The prettiest of them all.”
His flirtatious words were never serious, yet you took it as a compliment. That’s how high your confidence is. Only we define our own worth, not others. The two of you chatted more about your lives until the first rain of the season poured down, chilling down from the raging heat. None of you had an umbrella; the weather was too unpredictable.
Deciding to just run for it, he gave you the wooden basket to protect yourself whilst he used the blanket you’ve sat on. Running with laughter to return to his mansion in the muddy dirt, the cool drops shivered your figure yet felt fantastic.
If you were in the city, you’d panic because it’d mess your appearance and your boss would be infuriated by your unprofessionalism. But in the countryside, it didn’t matter at all. The condition of the rain wasn’t budging to improve, getting stronger by the minute. His entire house even lost power, his housemaids having to bring candles to his bedroom and your assigned one once night dawned.
It was hopeless to return home for you, plus it’s dangerous to drive in in the dark, narrow streets too. Jaehyun handed you some of his fresh clothes so you’d be free from flinching from cold dress sticking to your body.
“Get dressed and some sleep, (Y/N).”
Nodding, you excused yourself to find the bathroom. You’d assume it’d be easy, but this was your first time in his house; a mansion even. Doors from left to right, long corridors that seemed never-ending, no maids were within the vicinity whom you can ask for guidance.
Resorting to return to Jaehyun’s chamber for help, you were taken aback by what your eyes laid on. In front of his full mirror, he discarded his now-dried shirt. Even with the dim lighting, you could make out that he was fit by the transparent view of his abdomen. Peeping like this was wrong, yet you couldn’t turn away just yet. The heat in your cheeks was inevitable, finding composure in such an unholy sight.
Though a gear in you suddenly twisted; a gear that straightened your nerves. You’re taking a bold move on the chessboard of your feelings. Wholly opening his bedroom door again, you leisurely sauntered inside without warning.
“Oh, (Y/N)! Ne peux pas trouver la salle de bain?” (Oh, (Y/N)! Can’t find the bathroom?)
Unbothered as he stood shirtless, you on the other hand silently dropped his clothes on the floor. Holding intense eye contact, your fingers graciously unzipped the side of your dress. Inch by inch, the tension built up like the strong tiny flames lit on the candles around you two. Joining the pile of clothes, all that remained were your white lace undergarments. Unplanned for the get-go, it’s the ideal set for your earlier outfit at the picnic.
“Je me suis perdue, mais je pense avoir trouvé quelque chose de mieux.” (I got lost, but I think I found something better.)
Your fingers grazed your arm up to your collarbones, faking your naivety. From your lust-filled stare, the glint in Jaehyun’s eyes darkened. He gulped at the revealing sight of you, brushing his hair back to restrain himself.
None of you could utter a single word, only the vivacious rain being the only sounds ringing around you. Thus, you allowed your actions to pursue precisely what you desired to do.
Taking baby steps towards him to test the waters, he met you right in the center and closed the leftover space. His hands cradled your face, whilst yours clung to his chest. His lips tasted like red wine, watching him pour in a glass for himself earlier. He did offer, yet you declined.
Your tongue darted his lower lip, gaining access after. Sensing the edge of his bed, you plopped yourself down the cushion. His knee urged your legs to widen, letting his body slide in. From your face, his fingers lowered to the back of your bra, snapping the clasps open.
“It takes skill to accomplish that in one try, Jaehyun.”
“I lived in Paris too, ma chérie. You out of all people would understand and have the experience.”
His palms massaged your freed breasts, throwing your head back even more to his pillows as his lips ravaged down from your stomach until the fabric of your not-so pure panties.
“Call me that again, please.”
“Ma chérie, seras-tu mienne?” (My darling, will you be mine?) He kissed and licked the tiny ribbon in front repeatedly, where your now-swollen clit laid. It electrified your bones, pulling on to his ruffled hair.
“Tu peux m'avoir.” (You can have me.)
Sex in the form of one-night stands were all you’ve invested; upcoming artists like you weren’t capable to maintain long-term relationships. Les plans à trois even if you’re extra freaky or drunk from the afterparties of your events. All that these occurrences had in common were not seeing those men ever again after sneaking out of their apartments in the morning.
This time, it’s different.
When they said that doing the deed with someone you’re romantically entangled with was more special, they didn’t bluff. You could plan bits of your life, but it can sometimes change aspects of it when you least expect it. Sometimes for the best or the worst, but right now, it went beyond your expectations.
It’s rewarding that the man you’ve slowly fallen for within your stay returned your affections.
Around late 3 am that night, your brain jolted with artistic ideas that awoken your sonorous rest. There are no hopes of sleeping them off because they tend to bother you for hours until you do something about it. But you’re already so cozy having Jaehyun’s arms around you, skin to skin under the duvet. His lips daunted right above your forehead, recalling his endless kisses there that helped you fall asleep.
Well, these ideas don’t work themselves unless you do. Untangling him tactfully, you stepped out of the blanket and wore one of his long white shirts he gave you earlier before pulling out your sketchpad and palette of oil paints.
Luckily, there was still one available candle to use as the rest have melted indefinitely. You slid the matchstick again to the sand surface, boring a flame from the friction which you placed on top of the wick.
All your ideas that night leaned towards one thing, or person rather: Jaehyun.
You spent a few minutes retracing how he vividly looked at the picnic, leaning back from the chair of his work desk. His outfit of a turquoise turtleneck underneath a white button-top with trousers matching the said turtleneck looked good together, how his ears tingled red after you complimented his newfound inspiration for his book, and the prominent veins in his arms when he rolled his sleeves due to the heat.
The thin brush you held defined the shape of his face, then paying attention to the messy strands of his hair. Stroking in a circular way to outline his eyelids, a hoarse grunt disturbed the peaceful silence.
“Get back in bed, ma chérie.” His eyes drowsily opened, lying on his side. The moment he no longer felt your warmth, he worried something happened. Instead, you’re working late at night after quite a rough yet romantic night.
“Shush,” You shunned him down with your index finger. “Give me a few more minutes.”
“Perhaps, are you painting me?” He hunched from the covers. “Your eyes looking back and forth would never lie to me, would they?”
“Maybe…” You teased, batting your eyes at him without any risky intentions. Or not?
He deeply chuckled, sluggishly removing himself under the covers. In his pure nudity, he advanced himself towards you. You shrieked, covering yourself with your free hand.
“Jaehyun, stay back! I told you I’ll be there soon!”
Not listening, he carried your bridal style, making you drop your precious palette to the fur rug. Laying you carefully, he popped each button open. By the sight of his cock hardening again, you knew you were in for another round with him.
“Wet again, ma chérie? Oh, this will be fun.”
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Fin de juillet 1957
So this kind of summer romance concept that everyone fantasized about… it became your present.
Together you’d stroll in the smaller streets and immerse yourselves in the unique culture of the village. Whenever anyone saw you together, holding hands, biking, or what-not, they’d praise in the name of love for bringing you both together. A romance like yours in the countryside was a lively sight.
Remember how extensions were a possibility if your search for inspiration wasn’t found? Well, it’s not a question that you’d make one, except inspiration found you instead. And he had one arm around you as he slow danced with you in the open grounds of the village, listening to the live band covering song classics.
In particular, Chet Baker. He was Jaehyun’s favorite artist at the moment.
There was an ongoing week-long festival dedicated to summer, giving more plants their bloom and spreading gratitude to the hardworking people. Especially the students, off on their break.
The faint radiance from the post lights as Jaehyun swayed you around, making you laugh as he tried to mumble the lyrics of the song. All those glasses of wine he tried earlier with you from the bartender offering it for free had its effects, and you weren’t off the hook from them either.
Blisters started to form from your ankles, adjusting to the new pair of heels Jaehyun gave (or insisted to buy) you a while ago after staring at them like lasers. You’ve always provided things for yourself that being spoiled by someone else felt weird to you.
“If there’s anything you want me to buy for you, just tell me.”
“How can I buy you if you’re already mine?”
His smooth talk often made you punch his shoulder, but it’s just a mechanism to hide the exhilaration.
Under each other’s spells in your dance, you laid your head on Jaehyun’s chest. Feeling the strong beat of his heart, you were reminded of how much life he’s filled with. And you became a part of it, in the same way he crossed yours.
Jaehyun’s lips sank to the top of your head, pecking it affectionately. The first-ever summer where he wasn’t stuck at his desk working or drinking his life away with his rich friends in their Parisian homes, it couldn’t get better than this.
“Oiii! Flirtez ailleurs!” (Oiii! Flirt somewhere else!) The distinct voice of Jaemin, handing out pastries to passersby, shouted at the both of you, making you flip your middle finger at him.
“Trouve une copine d’abord, d’accord?!” (Find a girlfriend first, alright?!) You shouted back jokingly, almost falling due to the ache of your feet. Your immodest behavior was censored by Jaehyun’s large palms, not wanting the kids around to see it. Whispering closely to your ear,
“Tu es ivre. Laisse-moi te ramener chez toi.” (You’re drunk. Let me take you home.)
You changed back into your sandals as Jaehyun led you through the different alleys. Your vision was too hazy to navigate, so he had one arm wrapped around your shoulders. The weather grew cold too, shivering your bones so he draped you in his blazer.
“Wait,” You stopped, making him do the same. But before he could ask for your reason, your hands yanked him by his suspenders and your legs walked backward to reach the brick wall. Standing in his 5’11 glory, you were overpowered.
Yet your lips captured his effortlessly, raising to your toes to press yourself closer to him. He moved fast, one arm hugging your waist while the other hoisted your leg up. Tangling around his waist, the urge to move your hips against his crotch couldn’t be contained any longer.
Everyone was probably still out at this time or sleeping. The sloppy sounds you’ve produced were beyond suitable for any audience. Not to mention, the nasty words Jaehyun’s pretty mouth spoke in your ears desired you to fall to your knees.
“Not afraid of getting caught, ma chérie? You want me to ruin you right here, right now?”
“God, Jaehyun,” Your hands tugged his belt forward, the friction it gave to your core twitched the naughty side out of you. “Do it, please.”
The idea of public sex thrilled your mind into overdrive, yet you’ve never done it. In Paris, a city where several people started to know your name, you didn’t need a scandal to be plastered in your resume yet.
Jaehyun himself included, and still opted not to give it to you.
“Another time, ma chérie. Your apartment, now.”
The moment you unlocked your apartment door, Jaehyun was far from gentle like in the mansion. Ripping you out of your frilly dress didn’t take long, so was unbuttoning his trousers down to the floor.
On your knees, his hand gave you a makeshift ponytail as your tongue flicked the slit of his cock. Then slowly taking him inch by inch on your mouth, you’d let out a loud pop when you needed to breathe. Your hands fondling his balls, he groaned from the edge of your bed and tightened his hold on you. Tears formulated in your eyes as you got to swallow him whole, uncontrollably bobbing your head.
He felt like putty when he released, your throat taking the salty base. You hastily unhooked your bra in front of him when suddenly, his hand flicked on the fabric of your panties, cueing you to stop your motion.
“Keep them on when you ride me.”
Straddling on his lap, his head laid against the headboard of his bed. His arms roaming around your back to stabilize you, your fingers pushed your panties to the side as you pushed yourself down his protected length. Your moans became shaky. Up and down, you bounced while bracing on his shoulders.
Against his ear, your moans were harmonious. His hips moved against your beat, hitting your g-spot like the sexual ace he is. His thumb rubbing your clit, you shuttered your eyes at the impending high approaching you like a bus.
“I’m close.” You choked out, the overstimulation overwhelming your nerves.
“Fuck, me too.” He grunted, slapping your butt that made you shriek.
Soon enough, everything hit you both all at once. The knot snapped, and so did your body falling on his chest after a single scream. Panting, Jaehyun pecked on your temple as his cock softened up. Once you returned to your senses, you lifted yourself from his length, laying bare beside him.
His eyes started to fall, but before they did, he muttered huskily. “Je t’aime, (Y/N).”
It was the first time he’s said those words in the way they meant, and he’s more than certain that it’s what he felt with you. Sure, it started as mutual infatuation, but now, it can’t leave. Not on his watch.
Love was a concept unfamiliar to you, but Jaehyun slowly taught you what it was and how it felt like. Books and films may give sneak peeks, but to personally give and receive it back was made possible by him.
From this moment on, you could conclude that yes, you reciprocated it.
“Je t’aime aussi, Jaehyun.”
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16 octobre 1957
Autumn made its way to the countryside.
The leaves switched into red-brown shades, the weather in the south was warmer, and the wine harvest was highly anticipated. Jaehyun’s camera was a common item in your outings, taking as many photos as he could so the two of you had something to look back on.
Planned and candid, his range was wide. These were moments that proved that your youth was as happy as you wished it to be. You wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
Painting in his mansion was a regular thing, having new canvases prepared at his patio. There were so many items that amused you there like you could base your entire collection on his home. It’s not like Jaehyun could argue; it meant more time with you whenever you came over.
“Jaehyun, if you smudge paint on me, so help me Go-” He refused to listen to your “threats”, smearing black paint on your cheek.
“You were saying?” He cockily pestered, showcasing his paint-filled fingers. You dipped one of your brushes into the new paint and chased after him without hesitation. The entire evening became a paint war, a laugh fit even after seeing your reflections in the mirror. But before you could clean yourself, Jaehyun’s camera was by your face and he pressed the button.
“Still breathtaking.”
But the middle of the season arrived, that’s where your planned extension you’ve reached its end. The exhibit was next month, getting calls from your boss regarding your return and the paintings you’ll present. You informed her that you already had them mailed to your studio way back, so there’s nothing much to worry about.
All your bags were packed in the private car Jaehyun rented. Here, you’re bidding your goodbyes to every friend you’ve made outside the doors of your apartment complex, saving your last words with Jaehyun.
The night before, he stayed over and helped you pack your last items in luggage bags. He even brought extra clothes for you so you wouldn’t work extra. You’ve talked it out the whole evening through what happens next to ease your worries. In your bed, he opened the wide windows and pulled you under the sheets.
“Write to me.”
“Call me when you’re free, or whenever you feel like it.”
Leaning against the railing of the stairs, watched the sorrow in your face over this parting. He sensed how bittersweet everything was, but he wouldn’t change anything about it. He’s positive that your story won’t end here, not right now.
Sauntering to him, you sighed whilst taking your bag he held the whole time from him. His touch was tighter as the two of you hugged tenderly, nuzzling his head on your shoulder. The scent of his citrus cologne that implanted in your brain felt comforting, despite the uncertainty of everything between you.
You hinted a minty taste from the menthol candies from his home as his lips brushed yours, colliding it timely. He waited when everyone left, relishing these last seconds.
Stepping inside the vehicle, you waved your summer love farewell one more time before the driver hit the pedal. Your eyes couldn’t stray away from looking back, the distance between him and your former apartment widening. Only when he was no longer in the frame, you shifted your focus back in front.
Your fingers fiddled with the charm bracelet he gifted you from the market. It was custom-made by a jeweler who was great friends with his mother in his younger years. There were two pendants chained on it: a paintbrush and the sun.
“A paintbrush to remind you of your passion, and the sun to remind you of the summer we first met.”
The man was like one of his romance books, in human form. He knew how to catch your breath effortlessly.
Your stay, for now, may have concluded, but there was always next summer. And the ones after that. The village felt like a second home, one you can’t neglect like the other places you’ve lived. Then having Jaehyun here, the more reasons to return.
Undoubtedly the best vacation you’ve ever been in your adult years, one that didn’t sacrifice for your art so you could compete with other artists. The weight on your chest poofed into thin air, and you felt ready for what the next steps as a painter were.
Appreciating the greenery you passed by, you peeked over the side mirror of the car only to find Jaehyun quickly biking in your direction.
Now, what was he up to?
You instantly requested the driver to slow down his pace, rolling down the window of the car. Not caring about the strong winds, “You fool, what are you doing?!”
Although he trusted your last words, he had the greed to see your face again. It would be a long time until he’ll see you in person again. So he pedaled as fast he could to still reach you. Oh, the things you do when you’re in love.
“Mon cœur bat la chamade pour toi, (Y/N)!” [My heart beats loudly for you, (Y/N)!]
You giggled at his silliness, throwing out flying kisses.
“Je reviendrai bientôt, Jaehyun!” (I’ll come back soon, Jaehyun!)
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21 octobre 1957
Only your friends at the studio gave you a warm welcome back, receiving comments like “get back to work” from your first encounter with your boss. Popping a champagne glass open after work hours on the rooftop of your studio, they interrogated you with all the questions they could think of.
“So this village in Provence…. was it beautiful as the tourists said?” Ten, who moved from his home in Thailand to Paris at a young age, expressed his curiosity whilst leaning against the railing overlooking the Eiffel Tower.
“Beautiful is an understatement, Ten. I miss it dearly!” You heaved a sigh, twirling your glass.
“So this inspiration you were looking for…” Amélie, your dear friend since your university days, created some tension as she prolonged her last word. Playfulness twinkled in her eyes, crossing her legs. “Was a person involved by any chance?”
For a moment, your throat almost gagged on the sizzling alcohol going down.
“What do you mean?” You acted clueless, pouring your now empty glass with more booze. But the moment Ten gave you the troublesome look coordinating with Amélie, you already knew you wouldn’t hear the end of it. These two were such gossips in and out of the studio.
Ten took the seat across you on the table and leaked all his pent-up information.
“So you know Seo Youngho, the only son of the Seo family. Rich, socialite, a total hotshot… yeah, all that jazz.” He dived in, seeing you nod over knowing that man. Someone in the past you’ve slept with, but that’s another story. “Well, Amelie and I attended one of his parties at his large penthouse. He had his usual crowd there; Kim Doyoung, Lee Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta, and Lee Minhyung. But fun fact: there’s another member in that friend group who doesn’t go to these kinds of events.”
“Here’s where it gets interesting,” Amélie excitedly took off like the pipelette (chatterbox) she is. “Youngho, who was talking to us for a bit, asked where you’ve run off. Poor him, he must’ve missed you in his bed but anyway! We told him that you went down south somewhere in Provence for a break. Oddly enough, he mentioned how the mentioned member moved back there for the same reason.”
Ten and Amélie gave each other another frisky look, merely to piss you off. So predictable of them.
“Get to the point please!” You screeched.
“Jeong Jaehyun, ever heard of him?” Amélie imitated your tone of voice. “I mean, you should since you made a whole painting of him.”
“H-How,” Speechless, that’s what you were. Ten went on a fit of giggles, signaling the build-up of his intoxication.
“Youngho visited the studio to find a specific painting for his home, and we helped him in choosing. Then when your deliveries of paintings arrived that day and were unwrapped, the look on his face when he saw Jaehyun’s painting was priceless. Things started to add up, especially when he told us that he called up Jaehyun prior, he said that Jaehyun was seeing a girl during his stay there.”
“A young, burnt-out painter from Paris, to be specific.”
They’ve put you on the edge of the cliff, and it was too close to call it a coincidence. Of all things to be revealed, this had to be the first.
“Well, I was waiting for another time to tell you guys about him though.”
Their gasps of joy could give you guys a noise complaint by the neighbors, telling all about your escapades of him and you. During it, the more you missed seeing him daily either on his bike or his car. It was stuck in your routine, but now it’s reverted to your old one.
Could the next summer come any faster?
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14 février 1958
Perhaps your newest collection at the Louvre was your most successful one yet.
Entitled “Inspirez, Expirez” (Breathe In, Breathe Out), your sceneries during your stay in the village varied. An old couple slow dancing under the night sky, and the quiet district of shops Jaehyun took you, those were some of your last additions.
A multitude of positive reviews on the newspapers and art magazines came in, commending on taking on a fresher, brighter outlook for a change whilst finding your spark again. As fulfilling it was, what you longed the most was the one responsible for it.
Lately, it’s been tough to contact him. His maids always answered the calls, informing you that he was busy with work or family matters. It’s so rare for him to act like this. Whatever it was, it wasn’t grand or serious hopefully.
Back to your collection, tonight was the last night of it. Just in time for Valentine’s day, where numerous socialite lovers embarked on this event, but you’re more fixated that it was also Jaehyun’s birthday. A boy full of love born on the day dedicated for it, things made more sense. In case, you’ve sent your birthday wishes to him through letter and passing the message to one of his maids. Even on his special day, he hasn’t reached out to you.
But to momentarily forget about that, there was a closing ceremony held for this exhibit with the other artists involved, and it was your turn to give your final remarks. More esteemed socialites and journalists were present, which didn’t halt your nerves the slightest. You were a professional after all, holding pride in your craft as you stood in front of the microphone wearing your new favorite custom-made gown.
There are perks when you have close friends in the fashion industry, specifically Kim “Key” Kibum from the House of Key. After defending him from a disrespectful client when you were picking up a dress for your boss during your internship years, not only did you earn his respect, but an invite to his shows and first claiming of new items from his collections. Dining in expensive restaurants in the metro was a plus, catching up on your lives. Sometimes calling each other out for your sexcapades too.
Speaking of him, he was in the crowd that night, ordering every photographer to take photos of your gorgeous self in one of his dresses. Or in your opinion, bribing some by how he stuffed a few thick stacks of Euro bills down their pockets.
Only one of it ever made. A dark green satin v-neck off-the-shoulder gown, where diamonds adorned your neck and ears and white stilettos kept your perfect balance. Also courtesy of Key.
Because it’s the winter season, he gifted you a limited edition white fur coat every socialite tried getting their hands on. Your hair was styled in a bun, emphasizing your dark tinted lips from this new lipstick Amelie insisted you buy.
Most people would get the first impression that you were one of the socialites, a child from one of the affluent families even. But you were a lot more remarkable than that, having inborn talent in the arts that you specialized over your youth and rising to the top without any parental help.
“Thank you to everyone for their endless support towards the magnificent collections of each artist present. As for mine, I am grateful to rechannel my creative side by taking a break. Rather than romanticizing overworking our bones to the core, there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back from the pressure. Being alive is a blessing, realizing further how our youth won’t stay with us forever. Being away from the boisterous cities, I found relaxation in the countryside of Provence.”
Your lips quirked into a grin as every single memory during that time reeled in your head like a movie. “The beauty of Provence cannot be simply put in words. The muses I’ve encountered were more than lovely, especially the man behind the Poetic Rose. With that, I sincerely thank everyone from my bottom of my heart and I hope to continue to support me in the years to come.”
The applause roared once you stepped down the platform, shaking hands with every esteemed guest with more gratitude as they praised you. These days, socializing with them was a lot easier. You’ve even taken more initiative to greet people first before they do, conversing with them easily about anything.
Key definitely noticed that as you toured him around your section, holding his nth glass of wine for the night.
“You, Madame (Y/N), transformed into a social butterfly.” He nudged your shoulder, smirking once he got a better view of his favorite painting from you. “I guess that’s the thing when you’re in love.”
“I beg your pardon?”
With this free hand, he motioned it up and down at the painting in front of you. “The Poetic Rose is none other than the youngest son of the Jeong family, whom I’ve met through his older sister, Krystal.”
“Am I really the only one who doesn’t know him?!” You stressed, jokingly. Key was elated to capture you in his trap, the changes of your personality too evident in his eyes. Figuring it out that it was love took a while, but being acquainted with Krystal, she’s the one who told him that her younger brother was in love with a painter in Provence. Do the math.
“I’ve met him through his older sister, one of my highly favored clients. He’s not much of a socialite like her, so I don’t really blame you for that.”
Searching for a waiter to refill your wine glasses, a surprise emerged the both of you.
“Madame Krystal, you’re absolutely stunning.”  Key complimented her, giving the engaged heiress of Jeong Tea Inc. kisses on the cheek as respect. Her recent engagement to Kim Donghyun, her childhood sweetheart and also the heir of Kim Couture, was the talk of the town.
They arrived at the event together, drawing the attention of everyone in the room earlier. Now, he was speaking to a few influential socialites he made a deal with this week about the art collections present.
“Key, you never fail to look fantastic,” She remarked positively, poking his necktie before placing her undivided attention on you. “So you must be (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You’re beyond bewildering in that gown.”
“Flattered to hear that, Madame Krystal. Such a pleasure to meet you.”
The three of you chatted as if you were the only people there. From art, passion, and love, pride filled in your chest when you toured your collection. It was like walking down memory lane for her, adding out how she used to climb the peach tree with her younger brother during their childhood. Once her eyes laid on Poetic Rose, she took her time admiring it.
“My younger brother grew up well. That’s all I could ever hope for as his only older sister.” She paused, noticing how silent you became when you stared at the painting along with her. She observed the passion lit in your eyes, yet there was longing behind it by the way your lips pouted briefly. “You must really love him, do you?”
“I do, truly. After meeting him, not only was I boosted with so much ideas, but my heart embraced him for what and who he is in this universe.” You professed confidently, earning an approving smile from Krystal.
“If that’s how you feel, why not tell him that yourself?”
Her fingers gestured you to turn around. Stood in a grey suit with his brown hair slicked back, it was like seeing a completely new person. A handsome one though. His fashion in the countryside heavily differed from his fashion in the cities. So sophisticated and refined, he looked like a prince straight out of a fairytale.
Your fairytale.
“Jaehyun.”
It’s like everything stopped once he sprinted towards you, pulling you off your feet for a snug hug. Your arms threw themselves on his neck by instinct, not wasting a single second in his grasp. Your nose inhaled the woody scent of his cologne, something more formal than his usual fruity scent.
The smell of aftershave in his jaw couldn’t go ignored either, assuming that he must have had plans to go out tonight. Nonetheless, you squealed as if you were back in Provence, giggling at his boldness. Once he put you down, neither of you could get your hands off each other.
“What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you’d be in Paris!” Clutching your waist, you gazed at him with doe-like eyes, instilling confusion.
“J’ai voulu te surprendre, my chérie.” (I wanted to surprise you, my darling.)
He chuckled, pushing some straying strands of your hair behind your ear. His eyes evoked so much endearment towards this elegant look you prepared, making his heart race as if he were in the gardens of his manor again.
Hearing his petname for you again attacked your heart every time no matter how much time passed, he lifted your chin high. Jaehyun urged himself to kiss you senseless right there, leaning lower. And yes, you anticipated it by how your eyes instantly closed.
Only if it weren’t for Krystal to clear her throat, obviously ruining the mood. Flinching away from your sensual lover, you rubbed the nape of your neck. Towards an heiress like her, it must’ve been unprofessional.
“Couldn’t you at least wait until I left, younger brother?” Her fingers flicked Jaehyun’s forehead, a teasing trick they used to do as kids. Even if she was a lot shorter now, it didn’t mean the impact was weak. He cursed under his breath, covering his forehead.
Stifling your laughter was a failure, crinkling your eyes to unleash your emotions. So this is what their sibling dynamic was like?
“Now excuse me, older sister. You didn’t tell me you were visiting the exhibit after my birthday dinner with our parents?” He crossed his arms, exchanging a judgmental look. For his sake, he wanted to maintain his pride. “All you said after dinner was that you were going straight home with your fiancé after all the alcohol mother gave you because it made you lightheaded.”
“Well, you know Key and his persuasiveness. He insisted I attend this event last minute because all the collections were amazing.” She explained, shedding a subtle glance at you. “Plus, it’s an excuse to finally meet this lovely girl you raved so much through your letters.”
Jaehyun kept his family life private, so this piece of information was new to you. The unpredicted way the fluttering feeling drew in your stomach, all you could do was smile from the flattery.
“He spoke about me to you?”
“More than speak, my dear. He practically professed his love for you, asking me advice on how to court a girl, make them smile, etcetera. You’re the first girl he’s been this affectionate with, and I completely understand now.” She patted your shoulder, hopeful. She had such a strong older sister vibe, reminding you of your older siblings back home. “You’re a clever, talented woman. I look forward to seeing you more often.”
As you nodded in approval, she turned towards her brother with her recurring teasing look. “Yah, Jaehyun. You better take care of her. If she ever sheds a tear because of you, I’m hunting you down in the gardens.”
“Harsh of you, Krystal.” He planted his hand on his chest, feigning pain. “But no worries. Having you and mother around me kept me well-mannered towards women growing up.”
Playfulness aside, Krystal felt honored towards her younger brother. Men these days maintained their sexist beliefs and rudeness, especially those who doubted her high position in the family business once her father stepped down. Nowadays, it’s men like Jaehyun who could really challenge the patriarchy and make women pursue a lot more than being limited as a housewife.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Now please excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”
Krystal waltzed her way out without tripping from her slight intoxication, which Jaehyun worried about earlier. But anyway, that left him alone with you. Filled with so many questions, you didn’t know where to start.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to Paris? Why didn’t you acknowledge my birthday wishes to you? Why aren’t you answering my calls and letters?” You blurted without wasting a breath, weren’t trying to come off as needy, but it became peculiar when he was contacting you like usual.
You pushed off thinking of the worst scenarios, not wanting it to ruin your drive and your emotions either. Yet you trusted Jaehyun enough to know he wasn’t the type of person either.
“Okay slow down, ma chérie.” His hands maneuvered for you to stop for a bit. “Ask me one by one and I’ll give you a solid answer for each while we roam around.”
He arrived in Paris last week, which was initially for work. Then his birthday clashing was a coincidence. It would be too lonely to go home and celebrate his special day alone, so he extended. But again, it’s his work that caused his abrupt contact.
When you were too busy delving into the success of recovering your inspiration, he also found his spur to write again too. Day and night, his mind kept him tedious with an endless trail of thoughts and words. Overall, he finalized it then brought the end product to the same publishing house where his books in the past went through.
In fact, he decided to publish them specifically today on his birthday. The only day in his itinerary he planned, where after publishing, he’d hang out with his friends, have dinner with his family then run off to reunite with you.
“I didn’t intend to make you feel like a second choice, so please forgive me for that, ma chérie.”
“All is forgiven, Jaehyun.” You held both his hands, kissing them tenderly out of habit. “I’m overjoyed that you rekindled your creative side again.”
You were so understanding and empathetic, and Jaehyun aimed to act that way too. He learned so much from you as his friend before being his lover. Quickly enough, you’re both back to his portrait in the center. Like a critic, he narrowed his eyes and scrunched his nose. Tapping his chin with his finger,
“This man in Poetic Rose, he’s quite dashing.” He commented with conceit, walking closer to it to view it better. “His freckles are on point, his dimples and dazzling eyes too. Why exactly is he described as a Poetic Rose?”
“Well sir,” You stood beside him, imitating his actions. “This man here always spoke so eloquently, like he had a very poetic approach on life. He reminded me also of a rose by his rosy tinted cheeks and his beauty. He was alluring inside and out.”
“Is he your favorite muse?”
“I never quoted him as a muse because he’s more than that. Muses can be replaced once they no longer serve purpose towards the artist. Though with him, he’s the never-ending flame that I want to keep for the rest of time."
You held on to his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. The apparent reddening of his ears proved that he was flustered, yet you spoke no lies.
“Joyeux anniversaire, ma flamme.” (Happy birthday, my flame.)
“Merci beaucoup, ma chérie.” (Thank you, my darling.)
Something about his new release piqued your attention so you brought it up again.
“So tell me about your new book.”
“Let me show you instead.” Inside the blazer, there was an inner pocket that sealed a small hardbound book. Taking it out, he handed it over to you. “This is your copy.”
The cover of the book had an illustration of two young adults running down the fields under the bright sun, with the title written in cursive and placed in the center.
“L’Été de 1957.” (The Summer of 1957.)
Like a child who received a new gift in the mail, you flipped the book open. Seeing the table of contents and credits to other important people involved in the process, there was a detailed dedication right before the starting chapter. It’s an unexpected page, noticing that he never put anything like this in his last works.
“Pour ma chérie, qui a peint les couleurs manquantes de ma vie.” (For my darling, who painted the missing colors of my life.)
Although Jaehyun planned to write about the couples he met in the countryside, he chose to change his perspective. Instead, he based this new book on your summer romance, installing more original characters who made your romance blossom more.
“I was once so engaged in listening to people’s love stories, hung up on what they felt.” He expounded, pacing around the floor whilst you skimmed through the pages. There were black and white photos from your adventures too to wrap the reader further in the story.
“While I was struggling to find the next story, I realized late that my story with you was a perfect choice. When I fell in love with you, it’s like I didn’t have to fret anymore about anything. Everything slowly yet surely aligned into place for me. Like how we found inspiration in each other.”
A poetic speaker meant having a poetic, wise mind. You kept an open mind whenever Jaehyun shared his thoughts on life with you, an intimate time that didn’t require using your bodies. Whether you were stargazing or drinking wine by his patio, his soulful personality never changed.
“So I recapped every single memory we had and compiled them,” He resumed, taking a closer step towards yours. His warm hands grasped your waist again, catching a glimpse of your astonished face. Mostly, towards your lips that he missed feeling against his.
“This book expressed my own take on love this time, the one I want to grow in.”
You’d care less if you dropped the book and your coat right there, your major desire to kiss him again was driving your senses to the edge of a cliff. Nothing could’ve braced yourself the second you fervently collided your lips with his. It didn’t feel like you were in this exhibit, but somewhere back in his mansion engulfed in each other’s presence.
Your legs almost melted by your daring move, if it weren’t for Jaehyun’s arm moving upwards to your back to stabilize you more. Your body tingled with goosebumps due to his relaxing fingers all over your body. His tongue caved in your lips, and you couldn’t ban its access.
Such an explicit sight, it felt forbidden as you were inches away from the public crowd. Yet it was the least of your worries if they made a big fuss over it. Jaehyun was here again with you, and that was more valuable to you. He savored every trace of your touches, taking his delicate time with you. No past birthday could defeat this, especially when it’s the first one to celebrate with you. The first of many.
As much you wanted to keep this up for hours, your lungs started feeling constricted of air so your lips timidly let go. Though your hands couldn’t, your overwhelmed eyes couldn’t shift away from the heart-stopping view of your lover. Wherein even after such a fearless session, his eyes fused with love and need with his plumper lips.
“Everything about Provence, especially you, that’s the life I want.” You confessed this concealed secret that’s revolved your head for a while now. Yet its certainty was true.
“Are you sure, ma chérie? What about work?” As an artist, he believed you should stay where everything is accessible. Yet as his woman, he wanted you to follow your heart. Jaehyun didn’t want you to choose or struggle.
“I’ve grown out from the idea that the city life was the only life meant of an artist like me.” You replied, confident enough to discuss it after deep thought. “Cities like Paris hold exciting, vigorous flames that will have you clinging on to them. But then, they’ll eventually die the longer you stay. You get burned in the process too. However, I stand by what I said earlier. I found an endless flame when I met and began loving you, Jaehyun. It doesn’t sting at all; it illuminates strongly every living day.”
Urging him to lower his stance with your fingers, you stated one last phrase. “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”
“If that’s the case,” Jaehyun acknowledged, sticking his arm out for you. “Let’s get out of here.”
Astounded expressions crowded the socialites in the event as they watched the both of you exit together. If the news of Krystal and Donghyun weren’t crazy enough, some journalists figured the mysterious man behind The Poetic Rose and spread it like wildfire.
How was the youngest son of the Jeong family turned renowned romance novel author connected to the impressive, up-and-coming painter from London?
What really went down in Provence?
“How can you miss out on the signs? Did you not see them share a kiss earlier?” Key protested to those who weren’t approving whatever relationship you guys had. He loved his tea but hated those who simply were money hungry. Wanting a chance to be a part of the rich family, only to fish them out of their riches sooner or later.
Meanwhile, the winter season didn’t stop any of you from roaming the streets of Paris. Moments like these were a preview of the future you’ve envisioned with Jaehyun. Youthful, free, and fiery, a love between two artists created more magic not just in their crafts but to those around them.
Promenading a street overlooking the Seine River, Jaehyun took out a smaller instant camera from his pocket and took a candid shot of you. Stunned, you slapped his chest with your bag.
“Hey! Just how many more things are hidden in your blazer?”
“Just my wallet and a few condoms. Why’d you ask?” He raised a suggestive brow, feigning good intentions.
You hummed, faking your deep thought mindset. “At this rate, I don’t think we’ll make it back to my apartment alive.”
Jaehyun tugged you by your coat, his lips hovering your ear to whisper. “If we call a cab right now, I can finger you in the backseat.”
You chuckled at his vulgar idea, but it seemed ideal. You loved the thrill of getting caught or having someone overhearing you two, just like him. Besides, his fingers don’t match up to yours when you touch yourself alone in your apartment. You bat your eyelashes, giving in.
“Deal.”
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6 ans plus tard (1964)
Summer returned, the sun strongly smiling down to the plentiful flowers at your family garden. By the patio of your home, your canvas was already laid by the easel stand. Shades of yellow were applied first to symbolize the brightness of the day, following the outline of your desired scenery for this piece.
Dipping the brush in water to change colors, you took another glance at the breezy sky. Light blue with clouds resembling soft pillows, you inhaled gently as your brush faintly stroked the canvas again.
Your hair was tied in a bun, meaning that you’re in for a busy session. But a more soothing one as the jazz music flowed from the vinyl player inside. Stress was the last thing you needed right now.
“What’s madame artiste up to right now?” Your husband piped in from behind, placing down a tray of tea and crackers. With some top buttons of his white top left unattended, you glimpsed on his toned chest when he leaned down. But you mustn’t pry whilst working, even when temptation was calling your name repeatedly.
“The summer sunshine healed me of my discomfort, so I think it’s about time I painted again.” You chewed on the snack, looking back and forth to the view. As enchanting as all the flowers you and him planted over the years grew, you’re more amused by a little boy strolling around it with his magnifying glass and tiny wooden basket with his furry puppy by his side.
His tiny legs often troubled the two of you because he enjoyed spending time with nature. Only God knows what he found in the garden this time.
“Adrien est explorer encore. Devrais-je lui dire qu’il change de place, ma chérie?” (Adrien is exploring again. Should I tell him to change places, my darling?) Jaehyun cautiously asked, not wanting his 3 year old son to impair your perspective.
“Non,” (No,) You held on to his hand, kissing it sweetly. Although you peeved any unnecessary details found in your scenery in the past, Adrien was an exception. As his mother, it’s hard to say no to him unless necessary.
“Il est un garçon curieux, alors il devrait explorer et flâner où il veut.” (He’s a curious boy, so he should explore and wander wherever he wants.)
Life ever since you returned to the countryside shifted into something more precious than you imagined. From moving places constantly, you found a home to settle in for good. A home with overflowing love and inspiration. A home within Jeong Jaehyun.
Recently, you halted your work-related activities in Paris and came home because you were heavily homesick. It even affected your health as a whole. So you made adjustments with your schedules, postponing appearances to events to next year.
On the plus side, you could be more active as a mother to Adrien. It felt like you burdened Jaehyun to take care of Adrien most of the time because he mainly worked from home, wherein important people who wanted to meet him would have to fly out to the countryside.
Back and forth to Paris, your presence towards Adrien often lacked. Here came your biggest fear, which was Adrien forgetting you. But Jaehyun told you over and over again that it wasn’t the case. As he listened to every wrenching thought you had, but he’d combat it with heartfelt words of reassurance so you wouldn’t overanalyze things.
He vowed to love and take care of you when times get hard, and he will continue doing so.
Remember when you said how his mansion felt too big?
It no longer did after getting married.
It gave more room to grow and breathe more life into it. When Adrien was born, he was the prime reflection of your and Jaehyun’s love. He mirrored his father’s physical traits but with a daring personality like yours. A perfect mixture, the world worked amazingly to bring a boy like him into your life.
“Maman! Papa!” Adrien bolted to where you and Jaehyun stood. From the clothes he wore, it’s very much clear that his father was in charge of it whilst you slept in the entire morning. Suspenders, capri shorts, a white shirt, and a red beret, he deserved his title as Jaehyun’s mini-me.
Jaehyun swelled with pride and love for his only son, peeking over what he brought to show and tell you both. “Oh Adrien, what do you have for us today?”
In his basket, there were 3 sunflowers stuck out from the edge. It’s been a while since you’ve seen some in full bloom, lowering your stance to get a more vivid view. He took them out to hand them to you and your husband.
One flower for Jaehyun and two for you. You let out a gasp, scrunching your brows to the center. He always gave one of each item to you and Jaehyun, never more or less.
“Ooh, deux fleurs pour Maman. Pourquoi, Rien?” (Ooh, two flowers for Mama. Why, Rien?) Jaehyun let his nickname out for his lips while you grasped his small hand.
“Well, I heard from Olivier next door that on his birthday, he gave extra flowers to his mother so he could have another sibling. And it worked!” He spoke so innocently, yet it hitched a choke from Jaehyun’s chest. Your eyes widened from disbelief. The information he collected due to his curiosity, no boundaries truly.
“Le mois prochain, c’est mon anniversaire. Je me demandais si je peux avoir un frère ou sœur comme Olivier? Tu es toujours occupée, comme Papa. Je ne veux plus être seul, alors je veux une amie aussi.” (It’s my birthday next month, and I was wondering if I can have a sibling like Olivier? You are always busy, like Papa. I don’t want to be alone anymore, so I want a friend too.)
You exchanged looks with Jaehyun, not knowing how exactly to respond. Although you and Jaehyun did agree that you wanted more than one child when you were younger, neither of you brought it up again since your careers were always loaded with plans.
Adrien was a surprise child actually, conceived on the night where you and Jaehyun celebrated after L’Été de 1957 was announced to be the best-selling romance novel of the decade in the country.
In Paris at his family home, where his parents brought out all their prized liquor, the two of you drank the entire night away to the point Krystal and Donghyun had to push you away from each other from your public affections because their children were present.
But it didn’t stop you two once you reached his bedroom, far away from everything and everyone. And you’ll never change it.
“Oh, Rien,” You eased in, consoling him. “Je suis désolé. Mais c’est franchement une grande demande, n'est-ce pas?” (I am sorry. But that’s quite a big request, right?)
“Mom and I will think about it first, okay? Another kid is a big responsibility, and you’ll be their older brother. That’s another important job, can you do it well?”
“Yes, I can, Papa!” He beamed with glee, his covered head patted by his father after. As you placed the sunflowers beside your palette, Adrien then proceeded to ask you if he could paint with you like old times.
Never you refuse especially with his sparkling round eyes and chubby face that makes you want to squish every time.
As you lifted his light body to sit on your lap, you placed your brush between his stubby fingers and carefully aimed in whatever angle seemed fit so the painting process would run smoothly and perfectly. He let out sounds of amazement when the strokes get bigger, jumping slightly too because the picture became more vivid. You’d smile and coo at him, commending whenever he followed instructions well. As his mother, you only encouraged your child in whatever they want to excel in.
Adrien was the child of two artists, so it was only natural that he had an artistic side in his veins.
Too caught up in your fun, hearing the automatic shutter of the camera from your side was delayed. The source was none other than Jaehyun hiding behind his camera. Jaehyun’s heart soared at the heavenly view of the most important people in his life, wanting to treasure the moment as a lovely memory.
“Hey!” You shouted, placing down the messy brush by the palette. “Je suis très laid!” (I am very ugly!)
“Shh! Tu est rayonnant, ma chérie. Papa est juste, Rien?” (Shh! You are glowing, my darling. Papa is right, Rien?)
Jaehyun politely quizzed the peppy boy, nodding excitedly. His dimples deeply showed up, the main trait he claimed from his father.
“Oui, papa! Maman est toujours belle!” (Yes, papa! Mama is always beautiful!)
He exclaimed, pecking your cheek numerously. You squealed, attacking him with tickles and kisses back. His shouts of delight, then he was suddenly carried by your tall husband in the air like he was flying in the sky. Adrien enjoyed that motion highly, ending up on Jaehyun’s shoulders shortly after to play by the garden again.
“Go paint. I’ll take care of him now.” Jaehyun persuaded, roaming through the long rows of flowers in full bloom. Though seconds after adding some strokes to your piece, you let down your hair, put a hat and sandals on, and ran to the cute duo to join them.
And that’s how your family spent the entire afternoon. By the garden, running around and taking photos and short videos from Jaehyun’s camera. Freezing these valuable memories, this was truly the life you loved so much.
After your break, you could convince the company you worked at that you’d prefer fewer trips to Paris and stay in the countryside longer. How badly you’ve wanted to hold your exhibits here instead. Plus like Jaehyun, let influential people visit you. You’ve already made a big name for yourself now, so that should be valid enough.
Dinner time passed by quickly too, eventually putting Adrien to a smooth slumber as you massaged the roots of his soft hair while Jaehyun sang him a lullaby. This was your joint parenting technique with him since he was a newborn, and it worked quickly as lightning.
You redressed into your silk nightgown after bringing your canvas to the master bedroom, opening the balcony doors to invite the cool breeze in. You tweaked some bits of your painting, including a silhouette of your small family. Regarding where to place it, probably by the living room as it matched the theme.
“What a spectacular day, don’t you think, ma chérie?” Jaehyun conversed, admiring the calm movements of your brush. He noticed a quirky smile grace your lips.
“It’s been a long time since we had quality time like that with Rien. He’s a feisty ball of energy these days.” You replied with a nostalgic daze. “It’s so crazy how one day, he was still crawling to us. Now, he could outrun the both of us.”
“Comme le temps passe vite, hmm?” (How time flies fast, hmm?) Nodding, nothing braced for what your husband had in mind. You almost dropped your brush mid-way. Jaehyun’s lips impatiently devoured your neck, his huge hands fondling your breasts. Violently throwing your head back against his chest, a needy moan parted your lips.
“Jae-” His touches reaching south to where you desired him highly, dampening hastily as your legs naturally spread apart. Rushed exhales, “À quoi tu penses maintenant?” (What are you thinking about right now?)
“Rien se sent seul,” (Rien feels alone,) His hot breath whispered against your ear, his fingers dangerously trailing your thin panties up and down. With your hands tightly clutching on his bicep,
“Alors, donnons-lui une amie.” (We should give him a friend.)
Ever since Adrien mentioned such a daring topic, it hasn’t left Jaehyun’s mind the whole day. After seeing you in utter bliss with your son earlier, he found you so majestic and radiant. It’s a different kind of happiness, especially for parents.
Now you went on hiatus, he thought that it was the right time to have another. He enjoyed his younger years with Krystal, and he wanted Adrien to experience it too. 3 years was quite a wait, and it seemed ideal to try again.
From his nude chest, you flipped around to intensely clash his lips with yours. Draping your arms behind his neck, Jaehyun lifted your entire figure from the chair. His hands gripping on your butt, he delicately lowered you down your bed.
Drowning into his sensual kisses with his hands all over you, this could prolong for hours. Reddening love marks started to resurface whilst your fingers tugged on the drawstring of his pajama pants. Jaehyun’s fingers dove under the fabric of your panties, his index finger rubbing figure 8s the sensitive bundle of nerves.
You struggled to swallow your moans, not wanting Rien to hear it. You wouldn’t want to repeat history, covering it as Jaehyun massaging you after a hard day.
“I know you want one too, ma chérie.” His fingers began to drape down the straps of your gown, presenting your breasts in its full, perky view. But before his lips could suck on your erect nipples, you parted momentarily from him and got up on your feet. Pulling up your straps again, Jaehyun simply laid down but he wasn’t pleased from how you left him hanging.
“Où vas-tu, ma chérie?” (Where are you going, sweetheart?)
He was growing impatient. You were never to interrupt such a sexy atmosphere ever.
From one of your drawers in your vanity table, an important, half-opened envelope was hidden. You were supposed to give it tomorrow but now seemed like a perfect time. Reading it as soon one of the maids handed it to you gave you the jitters, but in a positive way. Sitting back down on the edge of your bed, you exhilaratingly passed it to your husband.
“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (What is this?)
“Ouvre-le.” (Open it.)
Jaehyun slowly opened the edges and once he took out the contents. Reading it thoroughly, he couldn’t believe it as his jaw dropped, pacing from the letter and you back and forth.
“Vraiment, ma chérie?” (Really, my darling?)
It was from a doctor you visited in Paris a few days before you left, who confirmed just exactly what caused your health to go feeble suddenly. You already had one certain suspicion, which you addressed in your leave of absence letter. Amelié, who finally got the position as the head, couldn’t believe her ears and insisted you take all the time off you needed.
“On dirait que Adrien a reçu son cadeau d'anniversaire en avance.” (It looks like Adrien received his birthday gift early.)
Overall, it turned out the headaches and repeated vomiting you mistook as motion sickness from traveling was a surprise hello to your second child.
A girl specifically, thanks to the blood test she recommended.
“Je t’aime, (Y/N).”
“Montre moi combien tu m’aimes, Jaehyun.” (Show me how much you love me, Jaehyun.)
The whole night through, the two of you vigorously celebrated with the moonlight from the windows and a few scented candles set in the room. Wet kisses left on your collarbone, words of devotion exchanged, holding his hand as he groaned from heartily thrusting in you, the number of moans from your lips overlapped with the vinyl playing in the room. The intimacy between you two increased, almost as if you made love for the first time again all those years ago.
Excluding being drenched from the rain.
Once the two of you grew tired, Jaehyun lied down beside you. Wrapping one arm around, one hand trailed down your naked skin again. His wedding band flashed your eyes, reminding you of the commitment you promised each other. For better, and for worse.
Jaehyun promised to love you endlessly as a woman and his wife, and it didn’t cease when you became the mother of his children. He respected how strong you are, physically and mentally. He helped you in any way he could as you endured the struggling process.
At the end of the day, his family was his biggest priority. More than ever now, you needed him as you go through the pregnancy phases again. Specifically, his index finger lingered on your stomach. There was no bump or other signs of showing, except for that glow he complimented you earlier on.
“We met and fell in love over the summer, got married in summer, had Adrien mid-summer, and now found out about our daughter at the start of summer.” He smiled, blessed at all the good he’s received during this time.
“The summer gods must adore us.” Your vacant hand with your wedding band topped his. To love and to cherish. “Ils m'ont amené à toi.” (They brought me to you.)
His power on you was simply addicting, as if your early twenties revisited you. You straddled himself once again, your fingers caressing his face sweetly. When it reached his lips, he placed longing kisses there and pulled you closer again for another kiss on your lips. In between, you mumbled in a silvery tone,
“Then they led us to say I do. Pour toujours et à jamais.”
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copyright © 2021 by alluringjae.
890 notes · View notes
doctenwho · 3 years
Text
Hangovers, Love and Space Vodka (PE Pt. 2)
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Hello! Requests are definitely open, even if I’m awfully slow! I feel bad at how slow these are coming out especially since there’s so many in waiting, but writing just hasn’t been on the table recently. Apologies for that!
But I’ve found the time and the motivation, so I decided to get this done! Thank you for your patience! This is such a cute idea, and it always makes me happy that people like the first parts enough to request a continuation. I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you readers like it too! 
So, please enjoy the continuation of Purest Expression (also, you should probably read that one if you haven’t already, this fic heavily references it!) Also, I just thought the name was funny and I was in desperate need for one, so feel free to suggest others if you’ve got one!
Warnings: Talk of alcohol, but no drinking!
Word Count: 4,050
Summary: Check out the prompt above! :)
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(Gif doesn’t belong to me, credit to the talented creator!)
You didn’t really remember a lot when you woke up. All you really knew was you'd drank far too much of that delicious cocktail, and that your brain was pounding in your head. This was quite possibly one of the worst hangovers you’d had, but honestly, you’d do it all over again to have another one of those space cocktails.
You rolled onto your back, lifting your hands to cover your eyes in an attempt to block out what little light managed to stream into the room. Your stomach churned at the movement, but it settled out easily enough after you didn’t move a muscle for a few minutes following your roll.  
You relaxed back into the bed when your stomach settled down, and finally uncovered your eyes, staring up at the ceiling with a bleary gaze.  
As you laid there, you tried to piece together the evening. The bits and pieces between arriving and having enough to drink that you could no longer walk a straight line.  
You knew you’d gone out on the town with the Doctor—he'd been excited to show you things. He'd raved enthusiastically about the planet, and you’d listened along as your own excitement grew too. Then, you remember finally stepping out of the TARDIS and being completely astounded by this new planet, with all its colours, music and general liveliness.  
The cute little bar wedged between two buildings; you remember that too. And of course, you remember the cocktail—you'd had two, or three, or... had it been four? You couldn’t really pinpoint it. The Doctor had said it was weaker than earth vodka, and maybe it was, but the after effects were definitely more intense to a human that human vodka was. That said you’d still be down for another drink or two before you left.  
It was well worth the pain of a hangover to taste that drink again. Just the thought of it made your tastebuds tingle.  
You let out a light laugh before rolling back over onto you side, but this time following it up with pulling yourself to a sitting position. The nausea was still there, but hardly noticeable; just a subtle warning to keep your movements slow and steady lest you start gagging.  
Your head was still pounding, but you knew that wasn’t going to go away without pain killers, so you stumbled to your feet to go find the Doctor. He’d have something that could help, and at this point, you didn’t care what planet it came from, so long as it killed the raging headache and... well, didn’t kill you.  
You found the Doctor in the kitchen of all places.  
He was perched at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee in front of him, as well as a book. He startled when you stepped into the room, breathing a light, “oh, (Y/N),” as a greeting.
You continued into the room, wobbling on your feet for just a second, “good morning,” you greeted in return, forcing a smile onto your lips despite the headache, “you don’t happen to have any pain killers do you?”
The Doctor frowned, “are you unwell?”
“Just a bit of a hangover,” you promised with a wave of your hand, “a little worse than an earth alcohol hangover, but it’s manageable. I’ll be fine, my head just really hurts.”
“Right, of course,” the Doctor nodded, pushing himself up and moving towards the cupboards. He rifled around the cabinets, reading labels of things and putting them back before he finally found what he was looking for, “these aren’t of your earth, but they are basically the same thing as your planet’s Advils. I’m sorry I don’t have anything that’ll help from your earth, I should really invest in some if I’m going to keep soliciting companions from earth.”
“Soliciting?” You snorted a laugh, which made you wince lightly, “really?”
“Well, I do tempt you humans away with the offer of the entirety of the universe, now, don’t I?” You smiled at the Doctor’s cheeky grin as he joined you at your side, setting the pill bottle in front of you to do with as you pleased, whether that was to ignore it, or take a couple, before he carried on to the counter. “No different really, I offer the universe in exchange for companionship, and I’m proud to say very few have ever declined. Now, would you like a tea, or coffee?”
“Jokes on the ones who declined, they’re really missing out,” you huffed out as you picked up the pill bottle, surveying over the list of ingredients. None looked too out of the world, but honestly, you’d do anything at this point to ease the thrum of your headache, so you uncapped the bottle, “surprise me.”
The Doctor turned back to flash you a grin from where he’d busied himself at the counter, “will do, my Dear.”
You shook a few pills into your hand from the bottle, eyeing them as if they were about to change colours or something similarly alien-like, but when none of that happened, you frowned, “how many do I take?”
“Well...” the Doctor turned thoughtfully to lean against the counter, “I’d say to start off with one and see if it does anything for you. There will be small differences from planet to planet, and we wouldn’t want you to overdose. After a half an hour you can try taking another pill if one doesn’t help.”
“Sounds good,” you popped a single pill into your mouth before you could hesitate. As if the Doctor was magic, he slid a mug of you go-to morning beverage towards you, and you washed the pill down with a sip of the perfectly prepared drink.  
You savored the taste of your drink, sighing into the warmth. When you’d had a couple sips, you put the cap back on the pill bottle and slid the bottle to the center of the table. You watched the Doctor move around the small kitchen as he made himself another coffee before joining you at the table.  
The two of you settled into a silence, thankfully. You hunched over the table, your elbows on the surface and your cheeks cupped in your palms, as the Doctor continued reading, but he looked like he was lost in his thoughts instead of actually reading.  
“How long have you been up?” you asked slowly, squeezing your eyes shut before blinking them open again to see the Doctor’s gaze on you. “You’re kinda spacing out.”
“I’ve just... some things on my mind,” the Doctor admits with a tiny curl upwards of his lips. It didn’t really answer the question, but at the same time it did. You didn’t think the Doctor had even gone to sleep. “Has the headache eased at all?”
Your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape noticing suddenly that the headache was in fact almost gone. You hadn’t even realized, “yeah,” you informed with a laugh, “almost gone. I didn’t even notice—space things are so much better than earth things; the drugs and alcohol.”
“That would be a very worrying observation if I didn’t know exactly what you were talking about,” the Doctor snorted a laugh. You laughed along too, even if the statement was completely true—it had only been about ten minutes and the space Advil was already working wonders, where as the earth stuff could take anywhere from fifteen to thirty minutes to actually kick in.  
“So,” you drawled after another string of comfortable silence between the two of you, “what’s been on you mind then?”
The Doctor eyed you up and down briefly before sighing, running his fingers through his hair and making his already untamed locks stand up at odder angles, “I was just thinking about yesterday.”
“Yesterday,” you parroted under your breath. You’d been thinking about yesterday too. How could you not be? There were still gaps in time where you don’t really remember what happened. “What happened yesterday?”
“You don’t remember?” The Doctor blinked.
“No, I do,” you leaned back in your chair with a sigh, “well, most of it, I think. But some of it... I don’t know? It’s kind of a blur. I guess the cocktails started hitting me towards the end of the evening, I barely remember coming back.”
“You were a bit out of it,” the Doctor admits sheepishly, “glad I cut you off at three drinks then.”
“I could’ve handled more,” you scoffed, smiling widely in a teasing way.  
The Doctor rolled his eyes, leaning forwards, closer to you as his voice dropped, “I do believe three is probably your limit, Love.”
You let out a bout of bright laughter and the Doctor smiled softly. You loved how easy it was to banter with the man—how the two of you were so comfortable with the other that you could tease back and forth like this.  
As if to prove his point, your head gave a warning thrum of pain that drew a shallow breath from you, “yeah,” you shook the pain off, “you’re probably right about three being my space-cocktail limit.”
The Doctor shook his head fondly at you as he settled back in his chair, “so, anything you’d like to know about yesterday? I did promise I’d tell you anything you’d like to know?”
You thought back to what you remembered about yesterday: the walk from the TARDIS to the bar, the ideal seating at the bar, those amazing rainbow cocktails that tasted like dreams. Drinking and chatting and laughing with the Doctor—splitting a plate of chips that were unbelievably delicious... and then... well, the space English the TARDIS didn’t bother translating for you.  
“What was the bartender saying to you?”
The Doctor drew in a breath as his cheeks dusted the faintest pink, “nothing important, I assure.”
“C’mon,” you pouted, cradling your half drank, significantly cooled drink between your hands as you leaned towards the Doctor this time, “you said you promised to tell me about yesterday, right?”
The man chewed at his lip, subdued, but clearly trying to figure out the best course of action, “alright, well, we... I suppose we were acting a tad bit... involved? And... some assumptions were made about us by the barkeep.”
“Involved how?” you raised a questioning eyebrow. “And... what kind of assumptions?”
“Involved involved,” the Doctor cleared his throat, eyeing your level of understanding before rubbing his forehead and adding, “uhm, romantically involved. Those were, well, the main assumptions made as well.”
You gaped for a second before a thought came back to you suddenly, “he kept calling us lovers.”
“Yes,” the Doctor managed a light, fond smile, “I did try to explain it to him: us, our companionship—but, well, he... he didn’t believe me.”
“He didn’t believe you?” You repeated back, surprised.  
“No,” the Doctor laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, “he made some pretty solid points in favor of us being romantically involved too, actually.”
“Oh yeah?” you teased, “and what points might those be?”
“Well, we were sitting fairly close--”
“As friends do,” the excuse came easily. The Doctor raised an eyebrow, but continued on like you hadn’t spoken.
“--I was hovering close to you, I suppose... A bit at least--”
“You were worried about me,” you interjected with a fond eyeroll at how wrong the bartender had been. Lovers? Come on, no way. You guys were... you were friends. Obviously. Though the thought of the Doctor hovering over you, making sure you were okay warmed your heart.  
“--we leaned into each other’s sides, uhm, multiple times throughout the evening--”
You struggled for an excuse for that one, you did tend to lean into his space, not that the Doctor ever seemed to mind. And he liked to press into your personal space as well—neither of you really cared about proximity, so you managed a one shouldered shrug, “it was just loud in the bar, hard to hear each other.”
“--and, well, he pointed out I was staring at you occasionally; odd for him to have noticed, when I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”
You couldn’t come up with an excuse for that one, eyebrows furrowing in confusion that made your breath catch in the weirdest way. He’d been staring at you? Why did that make you feel so happy?
“And then the fact that you returned the stare when I wasn’t looking. Honestly, that barkeep spent more time watching us than he did working last night, I’m sure.” The Doctor let out a playful scoff, genuinely amused that the bartender had put more time into them than his job.  
You however, were suddenly caught up in the information.  
He’d been staring at you when you weren’t looking—fondly, you were sure, if it had caught the bartender’s attention and led him to believe the two of you were in a relationship. Then there was the fact that you were staring at him in return? You’d been caught by someone staring at the Doctor? You knew you did it sometimes, how could you not? He was a good-looking, kind, compassionate man who liked your company. Just being with him made your heart speed up.
“That doesn’t mean we’re a couple,” you forced yourself to say, even if... well, you were questioning it just slightly. You knew, of course, that the two of you weren’t a couple but... “That bartender was just bored and looking too far into us, I’m sure he was doing it to everyone...”
“Of course not, surely we’d know if we were, right?” the Doctor agreed with a light grin. The grin only lingered for a second before it faltered and he chewed at his bottom lip. You were about to question it, but he spoke again before you could, “but, well, I suppose there is the song he had to go off of as well.”
“The song?” You questioned before it all flooded back—well, most of it, at least, “we were on a stage. We... we sang together. Was that a karaoke bar or something?”
“We were,” the Doctor ducked his head in a nod, “we... did. And it, well, it was kind of like your earth karaoke bar. Do you remember anything about it?”
You tried to remember, you know the Doctor explained it last night after he’d gotten the information from the barkeeper, but you still don’t really know. And you’re sure there were bits and pieces that he didn’t tell you last night as well. So, you shook your head.
“Right,” the man nodded, settling his elbows on the tabletop as he held his chin up, “well, the concept of the song ritual we were roped into performing is that you sing whatever song best corresponds to what you think about your peer. I’m not exactly sure how it works to be honest, the expression through song is just strong.”
“So, whatever I felt about you would be... conveyed through a song?”
“Yes.” The Doctor gives a light nod.
“And whatever you felt about me would... would also be?”
“Indeed,” his head tilts as he surveys you, trying to piece together where you were going with this string of questions.  
“But... we sang a duet, didn’t we?” You furrowed your eyebrows, running a finger along the rim of your mug. You faintly remembered chiming in with the Doctor’s song, instantly knowing the new lines to his song despite not knowing his lines, or the actual song. “Does that happen? What... what does it mean?”
“Well,” the Doctor cleared his throat, looking nervous. “It does happen, it’s just, well, it’s rare? I suppose. The barkeeper, just before we left, told me that the last time he saw a duet happen during the expression through song ceremony was when he was a child.”
“Wow, okay,” you bit the inside of your cheek. You had a feeling you knew what it meant, and the thought made your cheeks heat up, but you asked anyways, “what does a duet mean?”
“Well, generally speaking...” the Doctor shot you a small, crooked smile, “it means that we feel exactly the same way about each other. Exactly the same to the point that our expression would be through the same song, at the same time.”
“Wow,” you couldn’t help but repeat, “that’s... wow. So it really is unusual then? Why did it happen to us? Was it a fluke?”
“No, don’t think so,” the Doctor shakes his head, a blush rising to his cheeks as his fingers tap against the table, “something like that would be hard to fake, so I doubt it was a fluke. We chose the song—deep in our subconscious when thinking of the other... I mean... I didn’t know the lyrics beforehand, did you?”
“No,” you breathed out, fingers fiddling with your empty mug, “I don’t even think I remember the lyrics now. They were just... in my head when they needed to be. I didn’t even know your lines of the song. It’s weird that we were the people that got the duet—random visitors.”
“It was the same for me,” the Doctor sends you a small smile, “I think few people view their... companion the same way their companion views them. It seems highly unlikely that any two people can feel the exact same way...”
You’re not sure why, but there’s something different about the way the Doctor says companion this time around. Maybe he holds a different fondness than you’re used to, or perhaps some other reason, but there’s an unfamiliar warmth in the word.  
“But we did,” you whisper, looking up momentarily and catching the Doctor’s eyes before dropping your gaze back to your cup.
“But we did,” the Doctor repeats, just slightly louder than you. Like he too can’t wrap his brain around it. There’s a pause before the Doctor’s clearing his throat, forcing a crooked smile onto his lips. “Well, I promised you we head to the shops for some alcohol and other treats, didn’t I?”
The Doctor stands, moving swiftly towards the door without looking back.
“I meant it, you know?” You speak before you even realize you’re speaking. You don’t see the Doctor stop, since you’re facing the other direction, but you hear his steps come to a halt, feet planting in spot.  
He doesn’t say anything for a second, which prompts you on, “I do need you.”
He still doesn’t say anything, or move, so you stand and gather both your mug and his own, walking in the opposite direction from him towards the sink. You set the mugs in but don’t touch the faucet, instead mumbling a soft, “I want you.”
You’re not even sure if he’d still there anymore, or if he’d taken you moving as his cue to escape. You don’t turn to look, afraid to not find him there, so instead you whisper what little of your lyrics from yesterday that you remember, “come on back to me.”
Another moment of silence drags in before you hear the Doctor moving. His steps are quick, and you think he’s leaving out the door when suddenly hands are on your waist and he’s swiftly turning you around and gently pushing you against the edge of the counter beside the sink.  
You manage to muffle your surprise as his lips press against yours, soft but urgently all the same.  
You melt into his lips, eyes slipping shut as his hands leave your waist, one wrapping around your middle, as the other rises to cup at your jaw. It spurs you on too, your arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him just slightest bit close, to which he blindly follows your lead.  
You don’t pull away until the need to breath outweighs how good it feels to be kissing him.
You both gasp for breath, but neither of you pull away, lips still touching the faintest bit, “I didn’t think you even remembered the lyrics... how... intimate the duet was...” It’s the first thing the Doctor’s said since trying to flee the room.
You slowly open your eyes, catching his eyes waiting to make contact and a smile pulls at your lips. You pull away a bit, pushing your forehead against his, “I didn’t really remember the lyrics until just now, but I never forgot the feeling of singing them to you, and hearing you singing them back to me.”
The arm around your waist tightens around you, “I didn’t know you felt the same way,” the Doctor whispers. “I didn’t want to... make you uncomfortable, or chase you away. And then you woke up this morning, and didn’t remember anything with the hangover, so I... was going to let it go.”
You’re sure you make a noise of protest, maybe even disappointment, but you only assume because the Doctor lets out a chuckle before stealing another kiss that you’re more than happy to give.  
When he goes to pull back, you snake your hand up to hold him in place, mumbling softly against his lips the last of your lyrics, a message he’d sure to understand, “I love you sundown.”
The Doctor freezes against you pulling back just enough to look into your eyes before a smile creeps onto his face. You smile at his smile, watching him fondly as his head tilts in that adorable way, affection bright in his eyes, “and I, you, my Love.”
You melt at the words leaning into him and pressing your head against his chest, fitted perfectly under his chin like a puzzle piece. Your arms wrap around him, and his move to hold you against himself just as you had done to him seconds earlier.  
You stay like that for a while—you're not sure how long. You feel protected tucked against the Doctor, and it’s a feeling you’re never going to forget.  
“How’s your head?” he asks softly above you, the voice after so long of nothing by his steady heart beats startles you. The Doctor presses an apologetic kiss to the top of your head.
“Better,” you decide, nuzzling closer to him, “why?”
“Well, I did promise we’d check out the shops, if you’re feeling up to it.”
“I almost forgot about that,” you laugh, finally pulling away. The Doctor unwraps his hand begrudgingly, frowning as he does so. You let out a laugh, slipping your hand into his. “I wanna see the shops before we leave this evening. We’ve gotta get some of that vodka.”
“I see more hangovers in your near future,” the Doctor snorts as he leads you along by the hand.  
“Oh, and, we should definitely pick up a gift for the bartender from last night,” you add, ignoring the Doctor’s teasing jab at your weak human alcohol tolerance.
“Why’s that?”
“Well, without his instance that we sing, and his instance that we were a couple, none of this,” you gesture down to your interlocked hands as the two of you step out of the TARDIS and onto the busy, colourful streets, “would’ve happened.”
The Doctor’s quiet for a second as the two of you fall into step. “There’s nothing in the universe that can ever thank him enough for what he’s done,” the man softly admits, giving your hand an adoring squeeze that drives his words home.  
Your cheeks heat up as you tuck yourself in his side. He moves easily to accommodate you, releasing your hand to wrap his arm over your shoulders instead. You move your hand to squeeze around his waist, grinning as you respond cheekily, “I don’t know, Doctor, the space vodka is pretty good...”  
The man sputters at your response, glancing at you with a raised eyebrow, “I was being all cute and you’re comparing the gift of our newfound relationship to vodka?” the man questions, genuinely dumbfounded.  
You give a one shouldered shrug at his side, giggling at his reaction. It wasn’t long until the man was letting out a fond sigh, thumb stroking against your collarbone, “what am I going to do with you?”  
The tease in his words has you smiling. There really is nothing in the universe that seems equivalent to the gift the bartender bestowed to you, but... yeah, a bottle of space vodka was a nice start.  
<><><><>
Hello again! Hopefully you liked this continuation. Not sure if it kept to the prompt exactly, I got a bit carried away writing it, but nonetheless, I hope it was good! Feel free to prompt again if it wasn’t what you were looking for, as always!
I’ll try to keep up with the prompts but idk how well I’ll be able to manage between life and the other works in other fandoms. Anyways, hope you have a great morning/day/night!
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fakecrfan · 2 years
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Why do you think the fandom is so staunchly defensible when it comes to Jon? Don't get me wrong I love the guy but primarily because he's such a mess, that's what makes his character so interesting to me you know!? But I don't understand why it's so hard for the fandom to recognize that he can be a shitty human being sometimes to the point where they go completely insane and say subtly misogynistic things to the girls or downplay the trauma of stalking. Like even the narrative doesn't try to hide it, so I really don't understand where this enthusiastic attachment comes from.
Well, if I have to get veeeeery technical--it varies from individual to individual. "The fandom" is not a singular entity after all, so every Jon stan is going to be their own individual cocktail of Reasons. But if I were to paint a very broad, approximate brush there would a few different trends that I think account for most of it.
1: Main character bias. Viewpoint is a very powerful narrative tool and audiences are usually primed to agree with the protagonist's actions because they've spent more time with them. You’ve listened to Jon talk, scream, cry, struggle with fear and paranoia for hours, so you’re inclined to take his side over characters you’ve only known for 20 minutes tops.
2: Projection. "Jon is like me!" This causes the person to invest in Jon to the point that seeing criticism about him feels like a personal attack on themselves. Not necessarily irrational if said character is actually getting criticized for traits that you have. If Jon is getting criticized for shoving away someone who touches him, and you’ve done that, part of you will jump to go “well hey now--”
3: Trouble/discomfort in liking characters who have done wrong. If you like a character, but also hate things like inconsiderateness, selfishness, stalking, etc. then this creates discomfort. In order to resolve it, you have to stop liking the character, decide that wrongdoing won't stop your enjoyment, or decide that nothing the character did was selfish, inconsiderate, staking, etc. The last option is the easiest.
4: Tumblr fandom culture. The general method of interacting with a text on this website is what I would call a "blorbo sports team" mentality. Everyone on here picks their Boy and then spends a bunch of time hyping him up and tearing down everyone else as though he needs to win an election. Posts that are like “Meta: here is something Blorbo does that makes him good and cool” will get lots of traction.
It’s in good fun and I actually find it endearing, but on the flip side it’s all encompassing, making it difficult to interact with the text in any other way. So if you want to have fun and make friends it’s easier if you just pick a boy and start handing out pamphlets. Anything that you say will get interpreted as either For or Against the chosen Boy anyway, so you might as well go with the flow and group together with other people with similar taste in Boy as you.
(Note: I say Boy because 98% of the characters who get this treatment are men. There is definitely a gendered element to this kind of stanning.)
Pretty wild stuff, right? Good thing I can see through all that. Anyway now let me tell you about our lord and savior Gertrude Robinson, who I definitely don’t project onto, and whose flaws I totally love because I’m cool like that but also most of those murders and arson incidents weren’t that bad. Here, take a look at my pamphlet.
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fairestwriting · 3 years
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May I rq hcs for Idia, Vil, Epel, Lilia and Floyd with a s/o who's a cosplayer and loves dressing up as mainstream characters
Idia Shroud
You know he loves it. Gets starry eyed everytime you show him a new cosplay, listens with the biggest smile on his face whenever you talk about what characters you want to go for next. If you post pictures of your work online, you bet he's your biggest hypeman.
Though... he does wish you'd branch out to some lesser known stuff too. Yeah, Idia's a bit of an elitist when it comes to media, and you don't really get the worst out of this side of his (Since he's so starstruck with your cosplay) but he'll be tugging at your sleeve, recommending you all sorts of obscure anime and games, because to him that stuff's just so much better.
Still your number one fan though. Whenever he has it in him to go to cons, he'll gladly come to them with you, looking so proud whenever anyone asks you for a picture as he steps away.
Vil Schoenheit
Vil doesn't get much about this sort of culture, so there isn't a huge interest overlap like in Idia's case, but he can appreciate good costuming, and just a well done job in general, so he's pretty involved and supportive, just in a less enthusiastic way.
Even though he doesn't know these characters at all, despite them being mainstream, you can totally have a conversation with him about the more general aspects of cosplaying, he has a lot to say when it comes to the proccess of putting the outfits together, due to his experience with costuming from his acting work.
Won't go to cons with you, that's way too many sweaty people for his taste, but he gives some good advice on how to avoid people who don't know what look but don't touch means.
Epel Felmier
Another one that doesn't get the media-focused aspect of cosplaying much. Epel can probably recognize a couple characters you dress up as, but he's just not that into the stuff. He does think it's cool, though, and when he can see the similarities between the characters and your cosplays, he gets pretty excited.
Is vaguely scared by the amount of effort that goes into it as he begins to understand it more. Things like makeup, styling and caring for wigs, contact lenses, having to DYI accessories... Epel feels lost when you talk about it, and he knows he definitely couldn't do something like that at all.
Goes to cons with you if you invite him, though he has no idea what's going on around him. Will have a fun time if he can see stuff on the two or three shounens he's a fan of, though.
Lilia Vanrouge
Really into it actually. Lilia has a bit of an otaku streak too, and with how he saw other people online having that much fun with cosplaying, he felt compelled to try. He never got too serious about it, but seeing how good your cosplays look makes him wish he did.
You going mostly for mainstream content doesn't really bother him. You get recognized more often that way, right? Lilia sees the work you put into your costumes, he knows it'd be a shame if you just did all of that and no one paid much mind to it since they didn't know what character it was.
Will not only attend cons but also cosplay with you too! He jokes about not being nearly as good as you and usually goes for simpler characters, but you two will definitely have a blast together.
Floyd Leech
He thinks you look so cool! Really loves it whenever you show him your new finished costumes, they always have so much detail put into them! Floyd will circle around you and point them out, sometimes compare with what he remembers from previous cosplays, but either way he's just really enjoying how his Shrimpy looks, and will brag about it to anyone willing to listen.
However, he... doesn't understand the stuff going on behind the scenes, really. Maybe he recognizes a character or two but he isn't very invested in any shows or games, being very much the type to drop media in a whim, and all the work you have to do to put the costumes together just... eludes him.
He'll go to cons with you if he feels like it, though! Which ends up being pretty often, since there's always a thing or two at them that grab his attention. Floyd is a surprisingly good con buddy, easy to find in the crowd and scary enough that no weirdos dare to mess with you, plus he's just fun to be around.
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