#technically she shares a few classes with one of my friends (whom she is also friends with)

[dynamic-k]

Me me has a quetions :3 when did you start writing and where do your ideas come from?

-BK

Ooh, that's a tough one.

Hmm. Well, I know I started getting a like for writing in the 3rd grade. I'd done some random school two-paragraph assignment and Mrs. Meusen, my lovely teacher whom I still remember to this day, had returned everyone's papers with our grades.

And she liked to write custom messages along with the overall score and stars.

She told me in her little markered note at the top of my paper, that my writing was well structured and I make a good author. Something like that, I don't remember exactly how it was phrased, but it was a compliment to my writing.

I have no memory of what I wrote, though. It wasn't significant.

That was probably the first jump-start encouragement I got, though how it affected me in the future was probably subconscious for the most part. It's not the driving force that I remember on a regular basis as "Ah, yes, this event here is what started it all."

That long ago compliment just came to mind when I really started thinking about what the answer to your inquiry was.

My ideas just spawned into existence from my imagination. I was always the kid that found immense joy in reading books and also staring off into space. The wall. The ceiling. Out a window.

I once got lost in space during my 2nd grade Spanish class, while we were doing TESTS.

And I was lost in space, not really looking at what I was looking at... Well, I was apparently looking at someone else's test, lol. Got scolded. XD

My dreams were often the source of cool ideas also. I had entire MOVIES worth of action and everything. Sleeping was always a well anticipated privilege...

I wonder why. 👉👈

I remember my very first fanfiction was written for a comic series, Mega Man by Ian Flynn.

Cool robots, action, adventure, fights, suspense, a whole assortment of my favorite types of things to enjoy from any media, be it novel, comic, or movie.

It was... really bad. My family tells me it was good for my age at the time. The ONE friend I randomly decided to share the old google Docs with also gives me positive feedback, but... ehhhhhh.

There's reasons I haven't continued it further for years. It was pretty bad, in my eyes. I definitely had so much fun writing it though. It was a self-insert, sort of? But with an OC that had cool characteristics I just liked. Not really me, but a character that was an amalgamation of ninja skills, smarts, and powers. And was very much, as the term goes [that I would learn about just a few years later], a "Mary Sue". An overpowered character.

At least, my character still had a plethora of issues, and as the story progressed, I found ways to insert Nora [the aforementioned OC] into problems and lessen the overpowered aspects a bit.

I learned from that work. A lot.

I guess, if anyone is really interested, I can post the links to the old docs. I don't suppose I mind all that much, though I'm warning you all. I ATTEMPTED ROMANCE.

AND IF YOU ALL KNOW ME AND MY CURRENT HABITS... YOU KNOW I SAY ON A REGULAR BASIS THAT I CAN'T WRITE ROMANCE.

It was written by 13-year-old Scarlett. She doesn't exist anymore.

I think I somehow got off topic, why am I talking about my first fanfic...

Anyway!

I wrote a lot of other stories also.

I had originals.

I had fanfics. [My hyperfixation on Beyblade Metal Fusion remains dormant to this day, but I still remember all the ideas I never wrote down yet]

I had dreams that I attempted to normalize and remove dream-weirdness from for story material.

I had school assignments that were fairly tame as far as action, but I kept the docs anyway.

And then I tried to publish stuff.

[By this, I mean, on the Archive. I had technically posted fanfiction before on fanfiction.net but we don't talk about those abominations...]

I was in a Lego Monkie Kid hyperfixation at the time, and was currently on the cliffhanger of season 4. [Before the special came out, I mean.]

And I had a very very vivid dream scenario one night, where my brain decided to imagination its own ending and wrapped up plot for the cliffhanger of season 4.

I decided to post it. And I still have more ideas that I have yet to sort out and add more chapters to the fic, but that was the first published work on the Archive, I think.

And... it was romantic focused, actually. The one OC was a character that fit well into the series, and wasn't just an annoying rendition of overpowered characteristics. (I TELL YOU. I LEARNED FROM "NORA")

And, well, my dreams are good at imaginating romantic scenes. It's just my brain doesn't know how to make it sound good with words yet.

I'll get there... 😅

To get back to the point I seem to keep deviating from as I reminisce over older works and my author journey as a whole: I have come very far.

My first Alan Becker fanfic, was A Second's Tale. Which, until Super Sticks appeared, remained my most popular fic.

It started so SO simply. All I knew was, "NEW HYPERFIXATION GO BRRR!" and "I wanna write a fanfic and post it"

Then it escalated.

The AVA/AVM fandom is still my all-time favorite, and I think it's honestly going to stay that way forever. It's definitely the longest fixation I've ever had.

All my others are dormant, or active in spurts. I have a list of like, 60? 65? fandoms I'm into, lol.

Uhm, anyways, yeah.

That's the summary.

Man, that's another thing I suck at. Summarization.

Look at this long schpiel of words!!

No one gonna read this. XD

TL;DR

I have come far from the 3rd grade.

I still aim to make a difference. Make someone's day with my weird unique sense of humor. Make others inspired. ;]

And my imagination go brrrr for ideas. Dreams are just the best thing ever.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk--

[likeawolfatthemoon]

a couple years after high school, one of our classmates who was bullied very badly committed suicide.

a few months leading up to this, i had been having a very nasty gut feeling and had tried reaching out to a few people to see if i could get in touch with him just to see how he was doing. like we were never really friends, but we were kind to one another and both bullied, so there was a camaraderie in that. but i was never able to reach him, then that happened, and i carried a very heavy survivor's guilt for not trying harder despite drowning in my own depression and traumatic circumstances.

but i've processed that, it's beside the point.

our high school was a small ~christian~ school that fancied themselves a community which...i'm sure you can imagine exactly the dynamic there. all white, upper middle class, conservative on the outside - judgemental, hypocritical, insidious to the core. and all of those families showed up to the funeral. with their kids (i guess technically adults, but i still saw myself as a kid, so they were too). the same kids that i watched day after day, relentlessly beat down the spirit of someone who tried so hard to still find joy and kindness in the world.

and i took such a great, personal offense to the fact that they were even allowed to be present. to share the same space as people who were mourning a loss they undoubtedly had a hand in. and i don't pretend to know what any of them were feeling, whether they were repentant or bored or were secretly joking with each other in texts between the hymns. but that is the exact feeling i carry with me to this day. that people who were raised thinking they deserved grace have absolved themselves of every sin before the effects of it even touch another person.

but even that is beside the point.

the point is, my Significant Blurred Line Codependent Teenage Best Friend With Whom I Would Eventually Have a Very Dramatic Falling Out made me promise her to not let shitty people into her funeral. like, in a very serious way, a way that young girls teetering on the precipice of a lifetime spent in therapy have.

well over ten years since i've seen or heard from her, i still think about that. how i'm not going to fulfill that promise, nor she for me, and in fact either of us may very well be on the shit lists. but i also think...i don't want to see her, or hear her, or talk to her ever again...but i don't think i would begrudge her mourning me. actually, i hope she mourns me and our friendship presently and has been for a decade. she's been a ghost to me longer than i knew her, but i would mourn if i knew of her passing. because even though she's someone i don't know anymore, she still contains all the parts that i do know.

the weird 15 year old wearing shoes with cat ears in bible class. that i got in trouble for holding hands with in the hall. the 16 year old that took me on my first date on valentine's day. that introduced me to my favorite band, that i would fall asleep listening to. who i would send letters back and forth to in the mail, so we would have something to look forward to, always spinning a preposterous web of stories - usually containing dr. phil and this week's list of hilarious vocabulary words from her little sister? the first person i told i was attracted to girls. who "needed a break" after i told her that. the person who inspired me to start looking deeper into borderline personality disorder because it sounded like her (the irony lovers out there waiting for me to hit MY diagnosis 5+ years down the line). the first person (besides my mother) that promised me unconditionally, unequivocally that they loved me. the person who showed me old gregg (and the fact that i could still piss myself laughing over "easy, fuzzy lil man peach"). the person who chose other people over me time and time again, literally *leaving* hanging out with me to go hang out with other people. who cried and screamed when i hung out with people without her. the person with whom i shared a weird obsession with conan o'brien. the person i talked down from hallucinations in my kitchen after she smoked laced weed. the 20 something woman who accused me of being in love with her like a betrayal of her trust. who of course took her customary-by-then several months break after this accusation. and as always waltzed back when she needed someone to listen and be there for her. and i did. until something finally snapped and i just...didn't have the emotional bandwidth anymore. and one unanswered text turned into three, which turned into a voicemail, which turned into a wall of text, and then days and days and days of constant alerts. hundreds of calls. sobbing crying voicemails, threats of suicide, screaming, accusations, name calling, then more sobbing and crying. and it seemed like i never stopped receiving texts. and this entire time, i felt like the person in the wrong, but i just wanted it to stop. i responded one time, the first day, after the first threat of hurting herself. and the tone shift upon my response from desperate and pleading and hopeless to pure anger...solidified my resolve. but it didn't absolve the guilt i felt from every notification. it was months before they finally stopped completely. sometimes i still feel a zap of anxiety when i see her name written out on someone else's social media somewhere, it's a common enough name.

it's a strange burden to bear, a mourning for a person who existed but doesn't now, whose status on the earth is actually unknown to you. schroedinger's grief.

to mourn someone you could've helped, but didn't. or might've helped, but couldn't.

and i wonder how other people seem to not carry grief with them so wholly and ever-present.

and i don't mean the kind you would expect, like for my mom who died long before she took her last breath, or the child i could have been if x, y, and z were different.

i mean the constant grief, for every moment you leave behind and every person you can't content. and maybe that's not grief, maybe that's guilt. and the razor thin line all of these feelings walk over love. maybe love is an accusation of guilt. maybe it's okay to be guilty.

[ubiwrites]

Childhood friend/crush

“Hi Alghi, how have you been? do you remember me?”

That would be the first thing i would’ve said if i ever had a chance to meet him again. Alghifari was my childhood friend/crush whom i knew because we went to the same Islamic school that my parents owned which became the reason why his family and mine became closer later on. We were both kids at that time, i was around 7 or 8 years old and he was probably around the same age as me (or couple years older). Not much thing i can recall about him, but i do still reminisce the essentials one, especially the moments we’ve shared together. To be completely honest, i don’t even remember his full name (Sorry Ghi☹️).

But i do remember clearly, he had one sister that i also used to be so close with, Kak Zahra. We got along so well and the way she treated me as if we both were some sort of like a long lost sister. I think the last time i met her was 7 or 8 years ago, and a few years later she invited my family to her wedding —which unfortunately i didn’t come. The fact that we could’ve met that day kinda made me regret it (again, sorry Ghi 😔). To be frank, i didn’t really know much about his mother —not even her name. However, one thing i was definitely aware that she was such a beautiful woman. Om Indra, Alghi’s father. I don’t remember much about him as we didn’t really interact to each other, but one thing for sure his family was like a family friend to mine. I also remember his nanny —which her name i also can’t put my finger on it. I remember she used to accompany me a lot every day while she waited him to finish the Quran course that he took at my parents’ Islamic school. I still remember she was kind and also such a soft spoken person. She was not only took care of Alghi, but me as well whenever i was around.

Alghi, do you remember our first talent show? Well, i hope you do. It was in 2005, we recited Quran together on a stage in front of my house. I was so nervous but it felt less terrifying because you were there, on that stage, sitting right next to me, calmly. So thanks to you we did a great job that day.

Alghi, i remember, there was a time when i had to skipped my class because i had to go to your grandmother’s funeral. We didn’t really meet at that time, you were probably mourning somewhere. But (technically) i was there for you.

Remember our first playdate? We went to Taman Mini. Well, it wasn’t exactly a playdate, it was more like a field trip —we went there with other students from the Quran course we both took at that time. I still clearly remember i had fun spending time with you and your whole family (and other kids too). Funny thing is, i always have this blurry memory circling around in my head about how we kind of took a picture together —or probably it was me and Kak Zahra. However, the picture was never really seemed to be existed. It didn’t really matter, as long as you were actually there.

It was one evening when the first time I went to your apartment. Our second playdate i guess? I remember it was also the first time i got to play a game console. It was you who taught me, i didn’t know what was the title of that game but i remember it was a fighting game. I didn’t really play a game growing up, the closest game i played was anything on the phone or the computer. Therefore, i was so clueless and so bad at it, i lost the game. It was being around you that mattered the most. I had fun nevertheless.

Alghi, after many years since the last time we met, i would’ve never thought that the first thing i heard from you was the fact that you were no longer around. I still blame myself for the day i wasn’t there when you were gone to a better place. I was devastated and unable to process everything for quite some time. I refused to think that we were no longer breathe the same air. I know it wasn’t really a good excuse so i apologize. God knows how i wish i could turn back the time and run to you right away.

Out of all the traumatizing and terrible childhood memories i’ve been trying to forget, every moments that you were part of it are the one i cherish the most. No matter how long and how far we’ve been apart i will never not keep you in mind and even if it was blurry, our moments will always be my prized possession.

Alghi, if only we could talk about every moments we’ve shared together as a kid in person. You couldn’t imagine how i always wonder what kind of person you would’ve become and how would’ve you looked like if you’d still around, would we even have ended up together?

All i can say now is thank you for being one of the sweetest memories i could ever asked for. I hope you’re in a better and beautiful place wherever it is. I remember you as a quiet and calm boy, i’ll pray for you to have someone you could talk to so you don’t have to feel lonely. I’ll talk to you later Ghi Rest in love, I’ll always miss you,

Y.

[scribbling-dragon]

okay, so, i was thinking about my vigilante au again, but for s2 of empires instead. bc i’ve accepted that i won’t ever write a longfic for the original au, and i probably won’t for this either

so! delving into my thoughts:

it would occur in a similar setting, with the characters attending a sixth-form college (which i’ve got a name for!) while also being vigilantes on the side (because the name “vigilante au” didn’t give that away at all)

- we’ve got jimmy, who would probably be the main focus of this au if i did ever write something (sorry scott, jimmy brainrot is big rn), and he’d be a moobloom hybrid, i feel, just to change it up slightly from my other s2 projects. i’m not sure what type of moobloom he’d be yet, but he’d probably be some kind of flower that can survive well in a hot climate

- anyway! i feel like he’d be doing some kind of environmental science based stuff, or stuff to work towards that (not at all projecting. nope) which means he’d probably be doing geography, chemistry and biology.

- with the kind of power he has, i’m torn between some kind of plant based power (which he could have a small hint of anyway? being a moobloom and all?) or some kind of earth based power (like terrakinesis, because he could do a bunch of cool stuff with that, i reckon)

- his vigilante name would just be the Sheriff. the local police hate him, because he runs around in his dumb outfit with his stupid bandit “friend” (you know i had to do it) and they’re doing their jobs for them smh

- he definitely has a rivalry with Electrostatic (idk, messing around with names for joel’s vigilante persona??), who is someone that has lightning based powers, and seems to find some kind of amusement in tormenting him.

- he has a complicated relationship with the Protector (sausage) because the Protector is technically his ally, but he is also technically Electrostatic’s ally as well.

- on the other hand, sausage and joel are friends, who both help out with tutoring a few kids, one of whom them share: Hermes! yeah, he’s in this au. they try and outdo each other with the prizes they give their students, because Hermes always boasts to the other students about what the other one gave him when he was good, so they’ve obviously gotta do better than the other tutor

- scott seems like he’d be going for some kind of plant based power (which is why i didnt want jimmy to grab that) and he would definitely use it to get a bunch of rare dyes. i feel like he’d take textiles and art, at the very least, maybe maths to go with it idk (he gives off art teacher vibes this season ngl)

- i feel like katherine would have some kind of luck based power, in which she can manipulate the probability of events happening, and this would be really really good if she could fully understand how it works and stop losing her focus with it and causing her pen to explode in the middle of class.

- i feel like gem would be some kind of governor’s daughter, and they’re really protective over her, telling her constantly how she needs to be careful because she could get hurt. so as a massive fuck you to her parents she goes out as the Dawn Princess in the late hours of the evening and beats up criminals. for funsies

- (also the bandit friend is 100% tango, you knew i had to add him) other characters will be from the life series/hermitcraft too! i gotta add my other blorbos in :]

those are the ideas i’ve had for now, but feel free to send in asks for this au :D

[atths--twice]

An Unexpected Discovery

An alternate universe in which Mulder and Scully are college professors working in buildings across from one another. They have become close, but one day, he learns something about her he never would have expected.

A couple of days ago, @msgilliana posted a tweet about an AU involving Mulder and Scully which led to a mini story being created by both of us. People asked for a REAL story, but it wasn’t my baby, I had only added a bit to an adorable idea. I suggested she and I collaborate and we two women, who were “too busy right now,” cranked out a 7,700 word story in two days. 

Hope you all enjoy! 

Fox Mulder knew the start of the new academic year could be daunting for new faculty: Am I teaching this class correctly? Is my syllabus adequate? Where the hell do I park?

When he saw one person in particular however, he knew she meant business. They never technically met, but it was more of a ‘we parked next to each other and your building is right next to mine, so we might as well chat’ situation.

“Hi,” he’d said when he saw her, the first of them to speak. He had been drawn to her beauty, her red hair causing her to stand out.

“Hello,” she’d responded.

“Are you new?” he’d asked.

She pushed a stray piece of that beautiful red hair behind her ear. “Is it that obvious?”

“Oh no, I just have an eidetic memory and haven’t seen you before.” She was impressed, and her face revealed as much before he asked another question.

“What do you teach?”

“A mix. Some general physics, some intro to modern physics. You?”

“Wow, that’s quite impressive. I teach psych. Intro, abnormal, and social. Most people think it’s a ‘soft’ science, but I think it’s pretty important.”

“Psychology is interesting to be fair. Why do people do what they do, what determines our likes and dislikes, or even hyperfixations. And that’s just scratching the surface.”

“I have never met anyone from the science department who sees it that way. It’s quite refreshing, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“Well, my sister’s very into feelings, the energy of the planets, all that kind of stuff. She and I are very close. Well… this is my building.” She pointed to the one right next to the one he would be entering.

“And this is mine. How convenient. I’ll see you around Dr…”

“Scully. Dana Scully.”

“Fox Mulder.” He offered his hand and she shook it.

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Mulder.”

“Oh please, no ‘Dr.’ That’s so boringly formal. ‘Mulder’ is fine,” he had joked with a mock shiver.

“Then you can call me ‘Scully.’” She chuckled and then smiled at him. As he stared at her, he couldn’t help but notice the presence of a beauty mark above her top lip. She had covered it with makeup and he didn’t understand why she would, it was adorable and also incredibly sexy.

Oh, maybe that’s why, he thought, knowing how men could behave.

Pushing aside those thoughts, he smiled as they reached their respective buildings and separated, walking to their offices.

Over time, they’d gotten to know more about each other. He knew she was twenty six and had received her doctorate two years prior. She was Catholic with two older siblings, a brother and a sister, the latter of whom had an interest in all things extraterrestrials, and she also had one younger brother.

Before the end of her first teaching year, they’d managed to park next to each other almost every day. They would chat for the few minutes their walk to the building afforded them, until they had to separate to their own offices. They both looked forward to that time together each day.

At the year's commencement, they had sat next to each other, and she looked extraordinarily extravagant in her doctoral robe and cap. She would say the same about him.

The following school year, they had gone from their morning chats to leaving at the same time as well. It quickly turned into one accompanying the other to their office and continuing their conversations. While almost polar opposites, they felt comfortable with each other and talked about any and everything.

Of all the little things he knew about her, the one thing Mulder knew Scully prided herself on most was punctuality. He knew she arrived in the parking lot at exactly 8:05 every Tuesday and Thursday before her first class began at 8:30. The other three days, she arrived at exactly 9:25 am for her 10 am class. His classes were all later in the day, but he came in early for office hours and to get work done before his classes.

A couple of months later, however, it was 9:27 on a Wednesday morning and she was nowhere to be found. In the nearly one and a half years since she’d been teaching, Scully had never been late. Though he was curious, he decided to head into his office and start his day.

His work, however, didn’t hold his attention. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. What was she doing? Was she sick? Was there a family emergency? She had mentioned that her siblings lived all across the country. Her older brother Bill was in California where he was stationed with his wife Tara. Melissa was traveling, “finding herself” Scully had stated with a slight eye roll, and Charlie was in New York with his girlfriend Elaine. Her parents were in Annapolis, about an hour's drive from the school.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, he decided to email her, something he’d never done nor had any need to do.

Scully,

Are you okay?

Mulder

He forewent formalities because he felt they were on friendly enough terms, or at least he had assumed so. They hadn’t ever socialized outside of school events, but he had lost count of the high school and college friends he no longer spoke to or had only seen on campus.

He was about to get ready to teach his first class of the day when he checked his email one more time and saw a reply from her.

I’m fine.

Nothing further, not even her name, but at least he now knew she was okay. Or at least, Mulder hoped so. She would’ve said if something was wrong.

Right?

He didn’t sleep well that night, his brain unable to stop thinking and wondering if she was okay.

The next day, she still hadn’t arrived on time. He was in his office, about to send her another email, when he heard a car door slam around 8:15. The building was fairly soundproof, but the windows were not.

Curious, he got up from his desk and looked out the window. Seeing Scully’s car, he immediately smiled. She was a little late, but she was there. His brows then furrowed when she opened the door to the backseat. Bending inside, she was there for nearly a minute.

When she pulled back, he let out a gasp as she had reappeared with a small child in her arms. He could see the little girl was limp and appeared to be asleep. Observing Scully’s struggle to get her bags from the front seat while also carrying the child, he quickly left his office.

He tried to keep his pace slow, so as to not disrupt his colleagues, but his mind was racing with a million questions. Mulder made it outside, but didn’t see Scully. Assuming she must’ve gotten to her office already, he hurried up the stairs; he was out of breath when he reached the third floor.

Looking around, he heard a ding, announcing the arrival of the elevator down the hall. The doors opened and he spotted her shining red hair as she exited the elevator, and turned toward her office. Speed walking, he made it to her office at the same moment that she did.

“Oh, God. Mulder, you scared me,” she whispered when she saw him, breathing quickly as she reached for her keys.

“Sorry,” he whispered, matching her volume.

Scully took a minute to find her keys, only having one hand free for the action. She finally got her office unlocked, the little girl sleeping through it all. Propping the door open, she left the light off and set her bags down, a bright pink Dora the Explorer backpack standing out. She picked it up and held it out to him.

“Can you…” she asked him, nodding at the child in her arms.

“Oh. Um, sure. What…”

“Her blanket, please.”

He unzipped the bag and pulled out a small blue blanket with Thomas the Train across it. Versatile, I like it, thought Mulder. He couldn’t help but feel his heart grow as he watched the way she was with the little girl he assumed had to be her daughter.

“Mommy…” the toddler suddenly croaked.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay.” Scully’s voice was soothing and soft for the girl as she ran a hand across her daughter’s long loose curls. It was different from her no-nonsense, low-pitched professor voice, and it made his heart ache.

She mouthed a thank you to Mulder and took the blanket from him. The little girl whimpered as she was covered in the blanket and snuggled closer to her mother. Scully rocked her and smiled at Mulder.

“I’m sure you have some questions.”

“Just a few.”

She sighed and looked at her child. “Please, sit.”

He obeyed, watching as she carefully sat in her leather desk chair.

“How old is she?” Mulder asked.

“Almost three.”

“Wow, you’ve got your hands full. What’s her name?”

“Emily.” Scully smiled as she rubbed Emily’s back over the blanket.

Awkward silence washed over them as they both ignored the elephant in the room. Scully wasn’t married and didn’t wear a ring. She had never talked about her child before, let alone a partner that could be the child’s father.

“You’ve shared so much, why not her?”

She sighed again. “I don’t know. I guess I thought… that you would judge me. Everyone else sure does, except Missy and Charlie.”

“You know I’d never.”

“I do, but I was also worried. And I guess I wanted to keep her secret for as long as possible.” She avoided his gaze as she spoke.

“I don’t want to sound insensitive, but I do have one more burning question…”

“You want to know about her dad,” Scully guessed and he looked at her sadly and shrugged, not speaking the words, but obviously curious.

“His name’s Ethan and he had been my boyfriend since grad school. I found out I was pregnant the day I defended my dissertation. We broke up about halfway through my pregnancy. He hadn’t ever wanted children, but also didn’t want to use protection. I… well… now Em’s here. That’s the extremely simplified version.”

Mulder’s eyes were wide as he took in the information. He thought she was pretty badass to be able to raise a kid on her own. He could also hear how she may feel shame about it, because of others' comments and also how society tended to treat women who were single parents.

She sighed and he realized that he hadn’t said anything in response. Feeling like a bit of a jackass, he opened his mouth to speak, but she suddenly stood up and shook her head.

“Sorry to cut this short,” she said, glancing at her watch. “But my first class starts soon and I need to get her stuff to bring.”

He shook his head and stood as well. “I can watch her, if it would make it easier for you.”

“Oh, no. I couldn’t-“

“I insist. Besides, I don’t think she’ll like listening to her mother talk about super smart science stuff.”

“It’ll probably bore her to death,” she agreed with a chuckle.

“Then it’s settled then.”

“Are you sure?” Her expression gave away her uncertainty, her eyes searching his face.

“Really, I’d love to. I promise we’ll just stay in here while you teach.”

“You need to be in your office, Mulder. I can’t do that to you.”

“Then we can go to mine. Look, Scully, I promise we’ll be okay, okay?”

She sighed for the third time. “Okay. I should wake her though, let her know I’m leaving and let her see you. I don’t want her waking up without me and crying. Hey, Em,” she said softly, gently patting her back, waking the child.

“Mama…”

“Hey honey, Mama has to teach her class now. You’re going to spend some time with Mulder today, okay? He’s mommy’s friend.”

The toddler lifted her head and looked at him fearfully, tears running down her cheeks.

“Hey, Emily,” Mulder greeted. “It’s nice to meet you. Do you like Dora? She’s pretty cool.” Emily didn’t answer, but embraced Scully tighter.

“I know baby, but Mommy really needs to get to class. Mulder is a very nice man and he will take care of you. He has fish in his office. Do you want to see them?” She nodded, her eyes still full of tears.

Emily was gently passed to Mulder, Scully making sure she was wrapped in her blanket. The little girl sniffed and whimpered as she watched her mom blow her a kiss and then leave the room, thanking him once again.

“Would you like to go on a trip, Emily?” he asked, hoping to ease the tension. She looked at him, her expression unsure and still slightly fearful. “Let’s go see the fish, okay?” She nodded and he beamed.

He grabbed her backpack and swung it onto his back, closing the door to Sculy’s office as they walked out. He locked the door with the keys he’d taken off her desk, knowing she would come to his before coming back to her own.

Emily was trembling slightly in his arms and he held her closer as they walked to the elevator.

“Would you like to go outside? It feels nice out today.”

Emily slowly nodded her head, her thumb on the tip of her bottom lip, as she put her head on his shoulder. He stepped out of the elevator and then the building. He walked into the little courtyard separating the science and education/psychology buildings. The little girl lifted her head just enough to look around.

“‘Nola,” Emily said quietly, as she pointed with her little finger.

“What was that, Em?” Mulder asked, at a loss of what she was trying to say.

“‘Nola,” she repeated louder.

He looked at the direction she was pointing and chuckled when he realized what she meant. “Oh, you like the magnolia tree?”

Mulder was impressed by her intelligence. Of course, her mother had gotten her doctorate at twenty-four, which was not common amongst the other faculty. Even he hadn’t received his until just before she had started teaching, and he was thirty, nearly thirty-one.

“You’re very smart, Emily,” Mulder praised, but the little girl was uninterested. She put her head back on his shoulder, falling asleep before they made it to the office.

As he arrived at the door, he realized he had left his door unlocked when he found it hanging open and one of his teaching assistants, Tyler, was grading papers.

“Oh, sorry Dr. M, but the door was unlocked and…” Tyler started, but was confused as he saw Emily in his arms.

“I’m watching her for a friend,” Mulder said simply, putting her backpack down on the desk. Tyler nodded and went back to grading papers.

Emily continued to sleep, Mulder holding her as he sat down at his desk. Even as he held her, he managed to send a slowly-typed email to a student about the midterm, enter the test grades Tyler had given him, and sent out an announcement to the class about their extra credit assignment.

Looking down at Emily, he smiled. Other than her blonde hair, she was a mirror image of Scully and he couldn’t imagine anyone but her having a sweeter child.

Tyler left soon after he was done grading, smiling and nodding silently as he walked out the door. Emily began to stir, her eyes slowly opening and taking in her surroundings.

“Hey there, Em,” he said softly, and the toddler mumbled, clutching her blanket closer.

“Do you want to see the fish now?” She nodded and he stood up, his back protesting at the position he had been in for the past forty five minutes. He shifted her to hold her better and walked across the room to show her the fish.

“Oh!” she said, watching the fancy guppies he had bought swimming around the tank. “Fishies!” She pointed at the tank and he grinned.

“Yup! Those are fancy guppies. Can you say guppy?”

“Guppy.”

“Good job,” he said, smiling again and rubbing her back. “See that one there? The blue one with the red spotted tail? That’s my favorite one. Watch how fast he swims.”

“Fish swim fast,” she agreed with a nod and he chuckled, shifting her again.

“They are fast. Good job, Em! Gimme five.” She laughed as she lifted her tiny hand and met Mulder’s large one.

“Having fun?” Scully asked and they turned to look at her, standing in the doorway with a smile.

“Mommy!” Emily said, trying to scramble out of Mulder’s arms. He laughed as he set her down and she ran to Scully, who lifted the squealing toddler in her arms.

“Hey, baby.” Scully kissed Emily’s cheek and looked at Mulder. “Were you good for Mulder?”

Emily vigorously nodded her head while Mulder laughed. “She was very good. She’s a smart kid.”

“She takes after her mother.” The two adults smiled and Emily wrapped her arms around Scully’s neck. “Thank you for looking after her. I only had the one class today, but she was sick yesterday and I had babysitter problems and-“

“I promise it was no trouble and completely my pleasure. She slept most of the time, but she liked the fish. The guppies, right Em?”

“Guppy,” she said with a nod, pointing at the tank. “Guppy fish, Mommy.”

“Yes, I know. I knew you would like them.” Scully smiled. “Hey, are you free tonight?”

“Umm. I… no, I mean yes I’m free.”

“Well, let me buy you a drink. It’s the least I can do to thank you for your help.”

His heart raced. This was the moment he’d been waiting for since he had first looked at her.

“Um, sure, I mean… yeah, I’d love to,” he stammered.

Great job, doofus, he admonished himself, inwardly rolling his eyes.

“Great. I’ll sort out a babysitter for tonight and I’ll see you at six? I’ll send you my address.”

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think Scully was inviting him out on a date. Did she see it that way? They’d never spent time together outside of university functions, but he hoped she’d see it as a date, as he would love for it to be so.

He smiled as he nodded and she smiled back. She lifted Emily a little higher, telling her about her class as Emily continued staring at the fish. The way she doted on her daughter and how her red hair shone in the light, he could feel he was already falling for her.

Yeah… he was in big trouble.

[dancedance-resolution]

for andi mack week, i made this uquiz: who are you in the andi mack cinematic universe?

an anon asked me to post all the possible answers (sorry that i lost your ask haha), so ive included screenshots and image IDs of all the answers below the cut! :)

Image IDs of the answer possibilities:

in jonah's band - when you see jonah beck drawing band logo ideas during study hall, you feel like it's fate: you've always wanted to be friends with jonah, and you've also always wanted to be a part of a band! so you introduce yourself to him at your shared lunch block, and soon, you're the bassist in Otter Galaxy, a five-person band consisting of you, jonah (guitarist), buffy (singer), walker (drummer), and kira (trumpter). you all collaborate to write songs from all sorts of genres, and you develop close friendships with all of your bandmates. fourteen great songs later, jonah introduces you to a man named bowie, and he helps Otter Galaxy record their first whole album. buffy's girlfriend andi designs the album cover art, and kira's girlfriend libby runs the band's social media and marketing. Otter Galaxy reaches its career peak--so far, at least--when they perform a setlist of originals and covers at shadyside high school's homecoming dance. you're glowing the whole night, so happy to have made these connections and produced such amazing art with all these humans you love so deeply.

attending an olivia rodrigo concert with amber - you've always made fun of your friend amber for calling into every single radio station ticket giveaway, but when she manages to win ten tickets to olivia rodrigo's sour tour, you immediately rescind all teasing comments. you can't begin to thank amber enough when she announces that she's taking you, andi, buffy, cyrus, iris, kira, maria from the basketball team, and (reluctantly) her brother tj to the concert. the afternoon of the concert, everyone heads over to the kippen household to dress up and prepare for the concert. ms. kippen drives everyone, herself taking the tenth ticket, and everyone manages to fit into her minivan in a mostly legal seating arrangement (andi may be on buffy's lap, and iris may be crouching in the center section of the car, but hey, at least no one's in the trunk!). the concert itself is electric. despite never having endured heartbreak, cyrus sobs at every single song (but, not to worry, tj's there to supportively hold his hand the whole time). andi and iris sing along so passionately that it's a miracle they haven't lost their voices; you and kira share a pink cotton candy that's bigger than your face! by the end of the concert, everyone's exhausted from the rush of adrenaline and joy, and the car ride home is pretty quiet as everyone basks in the sated feeling. you all sleepover at the kippen house, constructing an elaborate maze of pillow forts in the living room before dozing off. you and your friends end up sleeping in 'til noon, when ms. kippen finally wakes everyone up with the smell of homemade pancakes.

gardening with cece - when andi invites you over to help with the gardening, she fails to mention what a serious matter you've just agreed to undertake. with a cold pitcher of lemonade as your sustenance, you and andi join cece in her meticulous plant upkeep duties. cece is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge about the various flowers spread about the garden, and she offers you her gardening cap when she notices how you're squinting under the hot sun. but don't let her kindness fool you: when cece somehow ends up in a passive-aggressive conversation with the neighbor about the location of some plumerias, cece swiftly dons her weapon of choice--the garden hose--and mercilessly discharges its cold water. the hose fight quickly turns into a fun opportunity to cool off, and soon, you and andi are collapsed in a muddy heap of laughter as cece chastises you for wasting water.

andi's lab partner in chemistry class - despite being an art-focused school, saava also has incredibly strong academic programs. alas, this is very unfortunate for you, as you aren't the best at science classes--so you're relieved when you're paired with a really kind and bright girl, andi, for this semester's chemistry labs. andi always manages to bring a certain magic to the routine and rule-based chemistry class, turning graphs of hydrogen levels into colorful maps that remind you of the astrology posters your friend libby likes to paint. and it's like andi's creativity unlocks your own imagination--with andi's help, you turn your simple coffee-decaffeination lab into a rube goldberg machine that creates splatter art! soon, your formerly most dreaded block becomes an exciting opportunity to collaborate with your new friend to make increasingly complex machines, sculptures, paintings, and other forms of art. your final chemistry lab of the year--an exercise in pH measurement that you and andi turn into a mixed-media installation that comments on the shift of identity many students experience when coming to a new school like saava--even gets featured in the "best of saava" monthly magazine! chemistry still may not be your best subject grade-wise, but thanks to andi's friendship and support, you find that you've learned a lot this year, and you really value the time you spent in this class.

psycholanalyzing beloved fictional characters with cyrus - on the first day of highschool, your first block class is the one you're looking forward to most--psychology. there's only one other freshman in the class, so you make sure to sit next to him. his name is cyrus, and soon, you and cyrus are bonding over your shared interest in the "childish" tv shows that your older brother teases you for liking. "if your brother teases you for watching them, why don't you come over to my place, and we can watch them together?" cyrus offers one day, so that afternoon, you head over to his dad's house. he introduces you to his dad and his step-mom sharon, both of whom are therapists (no wonder he knows so many answers in psychology class!), and you're super excited when they let you and cyrus flip through their paper copy of the dsm. sharon makes a bowl of popcorn for you and cyrus to share, and then you start watching pbs kids shows together, consulting cyrus's online copy of the dsm to jokingly psychoanalyze some of the characters from "arthur." ("technically it's a pirated copy of the dsm," cyrus explains bashfully, "but i was too scared to click on the illegal pdf, so i had my friend buffy save it for me.") after a few episodes of gleefully pathologizing fictional characters together, you hear cyrus's boyfriend tj knock on the front door. tj joins you for two more episodes of "wordgirl" (you find out that his favorite character is chuck the sandwich-making guy), and then the three of you eat dinner with cyrus's dad and step-mom before both you and tj have to head home. cyrus hugs you both, thanking you for coming over, and as you wave "bye," you feel so grateful for your two new friends.

[amethyst-geek]

Characters who haven’t been properly akumatized yet and how their akumatizations might go down

Sabine Cheng- technically she was akumatized in Ladybug, but Gabriel had to shut down the operation before her Verity Queen could properly manifest. I’d like to see her actually become Verity Queen in season 4. I’ve already wrote a few posts speculating how she becomes Verity Queen again and what her powers would, but for those who did not read those posts, I predict that Lila’s lies and/or an encounter with Mrs. Rossi will play a part in it and Verity Queen will expose Lila’s lies to the world. As for her powers, I figure that her auuamitzed item will turn into a lasso of truth and that she will also have the power to transform people into her knights (which may or may not just be their previous akuma forms) and her sentimonster will be an anomatronic knight.

Alim Kubdel- possible circumstances behind his akumatization- he is accused of being Hawk Moth due to the baddies framing him (not helped by a bunch of circumstantial evidence). I said in my “Lila’s downfall part 1″ post, I’d want his to be when Alix makes her debut as Bunnyx, but I can’t think of an Akuma persona that both fits the context “being falsely accused of being a supervillain” and would require the use of the rabbit miraculous to defeat. That said, one idea I came up with regarding his powers is the ability to summon people from he past and turn them into his minions. If Pharaoh and Timebreaker r anything to go by, Alim’s akuma form better be tough

Mrs. Rossi- Again, I have speculated a few times what her akuma person might be and the circumstances behind it. Weirdly enough, both for akuma personas have queen in the title. First is that she’s Queen Banana that has been announced that her devastation over Lila turning out to be a liar and budding super villain draws an akuma, which lands in drawing Lila made for a mom as a child (that depicts Mrs. Rossi as some sort of banana queen, hence, the name of Mrs. Rossi akuma persona). My 2nd idea for how she gets akumatized is her getting frustrated when her efforts to address Ladybug’s supposed incompetence at an embassy meeting are met with laughter (as her collegues assume she was joking), and she become Red Queen (which I originally conceived as a 2nd akuma form for Lila in the both the Lord Rogue AU and the Queen of Hearts AU, two AUs u can find out more about on this page, @princess-of-the-corner Anyway, Red Queen’s Powers (or maybe she should be called White Queen, let Lila keep the Red Queen title) consists being able to morph up to 16 chess pieces into akumas, allowing her to turn people back into their akuam forms and control through the pieces (though thanks to Lila’s lies, she’s under the impression they’re already in the akuma forms and the morphing the pieces simply allows her to get them under her control instead wreaking havoc like Lila says they still r). 

Felix- I already speculated a while back that he might become the new Chat Blanc because he wants to one-up Chat Noir (whom I predict that Felix will identify as Adrien, but doesn't share the info with anyone cause where’s the fun in that). 

Now onto people I haven't already speculated on

Mireille Caquet- maybe her being among the named Dupont students who hasn't been akuamtized leads to people speculating that she might be Ladybug and the resulting harassment leads to her getting akumatized 

Prince Ali- he returns for a visit, and when he expresses confusion when Rose mentions Lila, Lila (realizing that him exposing their supposed friendship as lie could lead to the school faculty realizing that her trip to Achu was also a lie), turns on the crocodile tears and goes “how could u forget about me after all the charity work we did together), and Rose falls for it and tells Ali that their friendship is over. Ali’s devastation over having lost a friend to someone’s lies draws in an akuma, and he then goes after Lila. This maybe the episode where Rose (if not the entire class) realize that Lila is lying rat (no offense Mullo) and apologizes to not only Ali, but also Marinette. After all, if Lila wasn't working with Ali, then why wasn't she in school (because even if her lie about being in Achu was caused by a lying disease, then her mother should have cleared that up month ago, as there’s no way Lila’s lying disease could have been properly diagnosed without her parents knowing). 

The art teacher- maybe some budget cuts lead to the art program being in danger of being shut down and a fundraiser to save the art program is sabotaged. I was thinking his powers could involve transforming people into statues and/or paintings. This might be a good episode for Nathaniel and/or Marc to make their superhero debuts. 

Marlena (Alya’s mom)- two possibilities- either somebody one of her employees sabotaged the order of a customer and Marlena gets blamed for it or someone messed with one of her daughters and got off scot-free

Bob Roth- Maybe Jagged Stone and/or Clara Nightingale quit his label (I wouldn't blame them if they did) and he’s pissed that he’s lost two big clients and he gets akumatized into a supervillain with the power to control all music. Personally I would put this under the ‘you brought this upon your own damn self’ category on Princess-of-the-corner’s “how valid is your akumatization” list.

XY- Either he’s feeling pretty inadequate after hearing his own father call him talentless back in Silencer and Hawk Moth akumatizes him into a Music Meister-esque villain (though I’d rather see Luka akuamatized into a Music Meister-esque, as it’s already been announced that Luka will have a new akuma form, but I don' know what the circumstances behind it will be). 

Alec- maybe whoever is in charge of the tv station r sick and tired go him constantly making fun of the people who lose on the shows he hosts (as it certainly doesn't seem to reduce the risk of the n getting akumatized) and they fire him. 

[bqstqnbruin]

No way

Ok here I am with something that was requested days ago but I suck whoops. I’m always taking requests, especially since it’s now technically my summer vacation (!) and I’m incredibly bored with nothing to do. This also took me like nine years to figure out the title for it and I was so close to leaving it untitled but I’ve been on a roll lately with them I couldn’t let that end.

Here’s the original request!

_______________________________

Just call him. Worst case he says no, and you bring someone else. You tell your mother that he was busy. She knows he’s a hockey player, he could have practice or games or other commitments that she doesn’t know about. She didn’t know he was your best friend. You have to ask him, though. Why are you nervous. 

You dial his number, frantically pacing around your kitchen praying that he answers so you don’t have to call back. “How much do you love me?” you spit into the phone as soon as you hear his voice on the other end.

“What are you going to ask me to do?” You can practically hear him roll his eyes at you, picturing the smile on his face that would also accompany it if this conversation were happening in person. 

You stop pacing for a minute, slightly stunned that he’s caught on to your normal tactic. “How do you know I was going to ask you to do something?” 

“I have known you for five years and not once have you asked me how much I love you without following it up with a favor.” You think back to all the things you’ve asked him to do in the past; go with you to the concerts that no one else was free to, go out to dinner with you when you needed to get out of the house, he’s even come to some of your presentations for classes when he knew he had practice immediately after. You were slightly annoyed that he figured out your plan. 

“Ok, fine, but, you always do the things I ask you to when I start with that, so really, this is your fault.” 

“What am I doing?”

“So you’ll do it?”

“Y/N, I need to know what I’m doing before I say yes.” He laughs, knowing he’s going to end up saying yes anyway.

“So remember how I told you that we’re having that big family reunion in like two weeks?”

You hear him take in a breath, letting out a heavy sigh, “Yes.”

“Well. My mom gave me two tickets.” 

“Why?”

“So remember -” 

“Stop saying so remember and just tell me,” he interrupts. 

“So remember how we took that picture together after the game against the Habs and I posted it on Instagram?” you ask him, ignoring his interruption. 

“Yes. Why? The longer this takes you the more likely I am to say to no.”

“Ok, my Instagram got connected to my Facebook and my dad saw the picture and showed my mom and she assumed we were dating so she sent me two tickets to the family reunion for, and I quote, ‘me and my boyfriend, Matt.’ I’m sorry,” you say really fast, hoping that he won’t process what you just sad in time to say no. 

“What?” he yells. You hear something land with a thud through your speaker, “Ah, fuck. Remind me to clean up my kitchen later.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say again. “Please? Please, please, please? Everything is already paid for. Free flight, free food, free everything. You just have to come and pretend that we’re dating for a weekend and then I can tell my family in like a month that we’re just friends because we’re both wicked busy.” At this point, you’re bouncing up and down on your toes out of the nervousness of a negative answer.

He sighs again, “A few things. One, you’re from Chicago, you don’t say wicked. Two, what if I was busy? Three, why didn’t you tell her I wasn’t your boyfriend.” 

He sounds annoyed. He’s going to say no. “One, I’ve lived here long enough that I pick up the vernacular, you would do the same thing if you lived in the south or something. Two, she would kill you. Three, she would kill me.”

He stays silent, probably trying to think of ways to kill you himself. “I would not be asking unless I really needed you to come.”

“Oh my god, fine.” 

“Matthew Grzelcyk, you do love me!” 

“Whatever.”

 -----------------------------

“I can’t believe you actually roped me into this,” he groans as you work your way through O’Hare Airport. You two had just landed, trying to find your parents who said they would pick you up.

“Think of it this way. You pretend that we’re dating now, and I will owe you for the next fifty years that we are friends.”

“The fact that you’re assuming we’re still going to be friends after this weekend, let alone in fifty years is absurd.” 

You ignore his comment, knowing he’s cranky partially because your mom got you the earliest flight she possibly could, and because he was with you under these circumstances in the first place. 

“Y/N!” You hear someone call, snapping your head into the direction of the sound. You see your twin brother running towards you, looking like a child who hadn’t seen his parent in years. 

“Hey, Tommy!” You hand your bag to Matt, grabbing your brother in for a hug. 

He turns to Matt, “You must be Matthew, she must have some shit on you if she convinced you to come with her.” You had to tell Tommy that this was fake. He would have killed you if you didn’t explain why you all of a sudden had a boyfriend. Your parents didn’t care, but you talk to Tommy every god damn day. No way would it not come up. He and one of your cousins, Julianne, were the only ones who knew. 

“She owes me for the next fifty years of our friendship.” 

“Let’s just get you home before she does something else,” Tommy says, taking yours and Matthew’s bags, “And I would start acting like a couple before we reach the car, Mom and Dad didn’t want to come in.” 

Fuck. When you saw Tommy, you were hoping you could give Matt more of a crash course on the family; your grandparents had eight children, your dad was the youngest. You had 25 first cousins, ten of whom were married, with fourteen first cousins once removed of whatever your cousin’s kids were called. Your family was huge, and you weren’t sure he realized how big it actually was. 

“Hope you’re as good an actor as you are hockey player,” you let out, praying this would actually work. 

“Trust me. Have I ever let you down before?” He puts his arm around you as you approach the car, kissing your head as Tommy opens the trunk to throw your bags in. You have to admit, something about his act was comforting. It almost felt right. For a minute, it didn’t feel fake. 

“My baby is home!” your mother shrieks as soon as you get into the car. 

“And you must be Matt.” your dad echos your brother from earlier, reaching from the front seat to shake his hand. “Hurt my daughter and you’re dead.”

“Oh, my God. Dad!” He was always a protective papa bear when it came to your boyfriends, but he’s never threatened them to their face.

“I’m joking!”

“He can’t even kill a spider, let alone your boyfriend.” Tommy, jokes, knowing that if your dad wasn’t driving, he would be smacked upside the head. 

The entire car ride is spent with your mother interrogating Matt about his family, your dad pretending he knows more about the Bruins other than the fact that they were your favorite team growing up. You were just hoping they didn’t ask him anything too uncomfortable: the last boyfriend you had was asked about his medical records by someone in your family. It wasn’t your parents, but it’s not like they wouldn’t ask something like that. The best thing you could do was try to keep Matt with you, Tommy, and Julianne for as much time as possible. A weekend with your family would drive anyone insane. A weekend with you, your twin and your brother wouldn’t be the worst in comparison.

“Ok, so, you two, will be staying in Y/N’s old room,” your mom says once you pull up to your childhood home. 

“Did you put the air mattress in my room?” you ask, helping Tommy get the bags out of the trunk.

“No, your cousin Danny is using that in the basement. You two can share your bed,” your dad says.

Sharing a bed? Your parents are old fashion, what do they mean you’re sharing a bed with Matt? “Uh, it’s a twin bed, and Matt is kinda big.”

“Well, yes, but, no one else could take Danny in for the weekend, so unless you want to share a bed with your cousin instead of your boyfriend,” your dad starts. 

“It’s fine with me, sir, as long as it’s ok with you,” Matt tells your dad. From the short car ride, it seems like your dad actually likes Matt. Who would have thought the boy he threatened as soon as he sat down in the car would be someone he actually likes. 

You spend the rest of the night with just your immediate family, thankfully. The reunion was a two-day event that was going to start tomorrow, so you could spend the night quizzing Matt as needed. By the time your parents go to their room, you, Tommy, and Matt just sit in the family room with the TV on in the background. Matt had been asking Tommy the entire time about what you were like growing up; how annoying you were as a sister, the iconic fight you had at the bus stop because he was standing on your shadow, when he pulled your loose tooth out at the shoe store as payback for when you pulled his tooth out with a pair of toy plyers because he asked you to, when you nearly pushed him out the window but instead spilled milk all over the dinner table and the floor. 

“So, Y/N never actually told me how you two met.” 

“How did we meet?” you ask. It seems like one day he just showed up in your life and then never left. 

“You don’t remember?” he asks you as you were shaking your head. “We had dinner in the dining hall, you were friends with what’s his face that was friends with one of the guys and you just came and sat with us. Everyone else left and we spent the rest of the night playing bagel hockey with the knives and I haven’t been able to get rid of you since.” 

You think back to your freshman year. Matt was a junior when you were a freshman, but you don’t even remember that day in the dining hall. “I don’t,” you admit.

“It’s something I’ll never forget,” he says, getting up, “I’m going to go start getting ready for bed. I have a feeling that I’m going to need a lot of energy for tomorrow. Goodnight, guys.” 

“Night,” you and Tommy say in unison. 

As soon as you hear your bedroom door close upstairs, Tommy starts, “You’re sure this is fake? What aren’t you telling me?” 

“What do you mean?”

“The last person to act like that around you was your ex.” 

“My ex is the human equivalent of the dog shit you started crying over when you stepped in it when we were five.”

“Yes, but before we agreed he was my stepped in dog shit he acted the same way Matt did around you.” 

“He’s just one of my best friends.” There was no way Matt would like you. There’s no way you liked Matt. No way. 

“If you say so.” 

-------------------

Your house and yard were filled with the million people that made up your immediate family. The children were running around, your cousins were in the backyard drinking, your dad and his siblings were in the kitchen and living room, while you, Matt, Tommy, Julianne, and two of your other cousins were sitting on the front porch. You were doing everything in your power to stay awake, practically falling asleep on Matt’s shoulder while he kept rubbing your arm and nearly force-feeding you in a poor attempt to try to keep you awake. 

You went up to your room right after Tommy said he was sure Matt liked you. With his words ringing through your head and driving you insane, paired with the fact that Matt was sleeping in the bed next to you and at one point was spooning you, you couldn’t fall asleep until 4:30 that morning. Then, at 5:00 on the dot, your mother burst into your room, yelling about how you needed to help get everything ready for when Dad’s family was arriving at 1:00 pm. Except 1:00 pm really meant 2:00 pm or later to your dad’s family, and you had gotten almost everything done the night before. You tried to go back to sleep while Matt was resting peacefully in your bed because your mom insisted your ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t need to help, but she kept thinking of different things for you to do, to go get, to make sure you had enough of. 

You were exhausted, long story short. “Babe, do you need coffee?” he whispers into your ear.

“Yes, please,” You share a quick kiss, Matt getting up to find caffeine as your other two cousins start to grill you on your ‘relationship with Matt. Julianne and Tommy stay silent, trying not to start laughing, exchanging looks that are driving you crazy. Julianne probably thinks the same thing Tommy does: they both think there’s more going on between you and Matt besides a fake relationship. You admit, you’ve always loved Matt, but that love was the same love that you had for Tommy or Jules. 

Eventually, the two others leave to go find more food, leaving you, Tommy and Jules sitting there while Matt is still nowhere to be found.

“Don’t say it,” you start. You know exactly what Julianne is going to bring up, and her having the same wrong opinion as Tommy was dangerous.

“This relationship is in no way fake.” Julianne shrugs, Tommy shooting you his annoying ‘I told you so’ look.

“It’s fake, I promise.”

“It might be, but, Y/N, you like him and he likes you.”

“Not true.” 

“Ok, well. He’s here with our crazy ass family. You look at each other the way Izzy and I look at each other,” Julianne starts, referencing her girlfriend, “That kiss was not something I would do with a fake date. I know what you were like with your dog-shit ex, and it was the same way you are with Matt right now.”

“Could it just be that we’re good at pretending?” 

“No one would play pretend with you because you took everything too literally when we were children and you have not changed,” Tommy butts in.

“Shut up. I’m going to go find Matt with my coffee,” you tell them, getting up to leave them with their ridiculous theory. You didn’t like Matt. You couldn’t like Matt.

You finally find him in the kitchen, surrounded by your aunts and uncles. He looked so natural sitting there with your family. He was making everyone laugh with his stories from the locker room, growing up on the Garden ice with his dad working there. The cup of coffee that he was supposed to bring you, still in his hand as your entire family just stares at him in intrigue, his eyes sparkling, his dimple showing as the smile on his face is plastered there that starts to make you melt.

Wait, shit. He couldn’t make you melt. If he made you melt, that means Tommy and Julianne were right. He makes eye contact with you, but you can’t stay there looking at him. You can’t like him. You don’t like him. You practically run to your bedroom, praying he doesn’t get up and follow you until you hear him say, “Excuse me, I need to deliver this coffee to Y/N.” 

“Hey, what was that about?” he asks, not even bothering to knock on your door as you pace back and forth. You like him. You fucking like him? How did this happen?

“What do you mean?” you try to play it off like you didn’t just look like a deer in headlights once he looked at you with that dumb cute face. You can’t even look him in the eyes right now. Why did you have to bring him? You could have just brought your friend and told your mother he was busy. You shouldn’t have even brought it up in the first place, because then you wouldn’t be in this situation. 

“Did you hear what I just said? Y/N, why are you acting so weird?” You didn’t even notice he had been talking while you were internally freaking out.

“Because I’m sleep deprived and have a crush on you and I don’t know how to act right now!” you spit out, your mouth working faster than your mind. You were stunned that you actually just said that to him. You just told him you had a crush on him? How stupid were you? “This was just a bad idea. I shouldn’t have asked you to come with me in the first place because then I wouldn’t have realized that and Tommy and Julianne wouldn’t have gotten into my head and made me so crazy.”

You look at him. He hasn’t said anything while you’re rambling, his eyebrows still raised in shock over the bomb you just dropped on him. You just ruined your friendship with him. How are the two of you supposed to fly back to Boston and stay friends after this?

“I’m just going to go back to my family and try to not... not cry, I guess?” you say, trying to push past him.

“Y/N,” Matt starts, grabbing your arm trying to keep you from leaving.

“No, it’s-” Before you can finish, his lips find yours, kissing you. Not the kisses that he had been giving you in front of your family. The kind of kiss that would drive you crazy when you were a teenager. The kind of kiss that made you feel like you could travel through to the stars, that you would never come down from the high you were feeling in that moment. You didn’t want it to end, even though you know it would. You could hear your family downstairs start to call everyone in for dessert, Matt pulling away even though it felt like neither of you wanted to. “What?” was all you could let out.

“I might have been a pain when you asked me to come, but you have no idea how excited I was for something like this. You were the girl that I couldn’t get since we met and played bagel hockey all night.”

“This wasn’t fake for you?”

“It was only fake for me because it would be fake for you. It would be pretty pathetic on my end if I thought it was real and you didn’t. It would also be something that would need a restraining order,” he laughs, pulling you closer to him. 

“So then, are we pretending still?” 

“Nah, we don’t have to. Let’s go get some dessert?” he asks, leading out of your room, your mom still trying to round everyone up. 

“Yeah, why not.” 

[nadiaportia]

Prompt 2 - Parents: “De Rubalcaba y Saavedra”

For @arcana-echoes​

Summary: Ximena reminisces over two important people in her life she usually doesn’t think about. 

Word count: ~2000

I had the most annoying case of writer’s block for this one when I didn’t know which way of storytelling I wanted, changed what I originally had (the first draft featured a lot more Rubalcaba sisters and took place in Calpacia) and got the idea for this while cooking with a friend. Apologies for the delay and for any grammatical errors or typos but I had to get it out of my system. Enjoy!

“Y’know, it was my mother’s birthday yesterday.”

The words slipped out of Ximena’s mouth before she realized she had actually voiced them out loud and it wasn’t just a stray thought when she saw Asra looking at her with wide eyes. 

“Oh.” 

He stopped tying together the bundles of sage and reached out to gently touch her hand.

“Ah, it’s fine. I guess I was just too preoccupied with everything going on to remember it. And it’s not like I would have received an invitation to her birthday party anyway.”

Her attempt at a dry laugh was somehow deflated by the sad look Asra gave her, and she immediately felt bad for making light of it. 

“Don’t feel bad about it. I almost forgot about my father’s birthday once, it happens to the best of us.”

Ximena sighed but nodded. The thing was that the relationship between Asra and his parents had been vastly different than the one between hers. 

“What did you usually do on her birthdays?” Asra had leaned with his back against the kitchen counter. Oh, so this was officially a break from work and story time. Ximena thought about whether to indulge him or not; despite knowing each other for quite some time, she had barely talked about her, or her father for that matter. Her sisters, her cousin and her aunt were frequently featured but for some reason she herself didn’t even know both Marisol and Valentín appeared rather rarely in her stories. 

“There usually was a dinner with her favorite foods from all over Calpacia, and each year we gifted her something different - one time Cibela composed a piece for her, Heloisa wrote a play for her with us as the actors and I drew her as the mother of ancient gods once.” Ximena remembered how proud she had been that day when she saw the awe and happiness on her mother’s face. “The dinners were always attended by the nobles closest to her and occasionally also the Zaan, for her 50th they threw her a rightfully huge celebration on the palace grounds, with an orchestra, a huge buffet and everything her heart desired.”   

“Something tells me that this was even more over the top than Count Lucio’s birthday parties.”

Ximena shrugged. She avoided the Palace, and with it the masquerades thrown in honor for Vesuvia’s sovereign, so she couldn’t make a comparison.

“She definitely gave her love for pompous celebrations to Heloisa. They were the only ones who loved those parties and took it way too serious. Agustín, Esmé and I were fine with them, we just retreated into some corner and had conversations but Cibela hated them.”

“What about your father?”

“Well, he wasn’t exactly the social butterfly of the two, but he enjoyed himself. I think part of it is because they met at such a party.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, it was actually Tía Esmé’s birthday party which my mother helped organize. Mamá would occasionally tell us about the first time she saw him --” Ximena shifted her posture, adopted a dreamy look on her face and clasped her hands in front of her chest.

“‘There he stood by the window -- wearing that dashing costume made of golden silk, the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes upon.” She dropped her hands to her sides as Asra watched her with fascination.

“Wait, she invited him to the party despite not knowing him?”

Ximena shrugged. “She invited some members of the Merchant fleet, despite not all of them being nobles but since they were basically aristocracy-adjacent, no one really batted an eye. Now, as for marrying a non-aristocrat, that’s an entirely different thing.”

Asra scoffed. She had told him about the strict division of class back in Calpacia, and had called it horrendously intolerant. Part of this system had been what saw the peasants and ordinary people as disposable tools for the aristocracy to use according to their will, including to fight their petty wars. 

“They married regardless?”

“Well, back in those days, Esmé was the heiress to Marquesa Constanza, and she vouched for my parents. It wasn’t a scandal despite having potential to be one but given that my father was just a few steps away from aristocracy and had an aunt who happened to be a noble, it really helped their case.”

“Good for them.”

“Yeah. The wedding was really grand. Esmé told us all about it when I was younger, it always sounded to me like something out of a fairytale.” She sighed. “But I think if I were to marry, it’d do with as few people as possible. Hell, Segismundo can be the only witness when my spouse and I exchange vows for all I care for, I don’t care much for grand gestures.”

Asra nodded. It was then when Ximena realized just how awkward it was to discuss a potential marriage with her… well, ex-lover. They were too many things at once, roommates, co-workers, close friends, amicable exes, and most conversations didn’t really get weird; except this one. 

For a moment, she wondered what marrying Asra would be like. She doubted much would change between them; not a lot had changed while they were together, except that they became more romantically affectionate and the sex might’ve been gotten more frequent --

She stopped herself at once. Knock it off. Thinking about the sex with the ex with whom you still live and work with while you’re talking about your parents is weird. 

Ximena cleared her throat. “Either way… that’s how my parents got married and when Cibela was born, Tía Esmé abdicated the title of marquesa so my mother really won at the lottery that day. Yay for us, I guess.”

“She abdicated? You never told me that… but wasn’t your aunt a whole general?” Asra furrowed his brows. 

“Yeah, and choosing to not become a courtier was what made her fall out of favor in my grandmother’s eyes. She wanted a pawn at the court, not a grand marshal who acted independently. My mother fulfilled that role just fine by the time Cibela was born so Esmé gave her title and made a name for herself -- well, a bigger one than she already had. That turned my father into a marqués but it’d never be enough of a status elevation to override the Rubalcaba name so that’s why my sisters and me are ‘Rubalcaba y Saavedra and not ‘Saavedra y Rubalcaba.” Ximena gave a sardonic laugh. “Then again, technically speaking, I’m neither these days.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.” Asra said. Something in his voice said clearly that he wanted to know more though, as did his body language. 

This was Asra she was talking to, who shared basically everything with her. The most she could do was give him a little back.

“No, don’t worry, I’m fine.” She paused for a moment and an awkward silence hung in the air between them.

“Sooo, what were your parents like?” Asra asked quickly. “I mean, what kind of people were they? I feel like your mum was the life of the party while your dad was more like… you.”

Ximena scoffed with amusement. “Yeah, I suppose that is kind of fitting. The quiet type, it rubbed off more on Cibela than me though. She was their favorite, which makes sense since she’s the firstborn, he even took her on one of his journeys when she turned fifteen. I don’t think he and Heloisa ever found a lot of common ground but then again, she always was sort of the troublemaker. I think he saw more of himself in me, and he loved the way I painted, how I closed myself off from the world when I was working to the point where I think he wanted me to pursue that career and not at the Guild. He was sweet, very gentle and whenever he sang, Mother would cry because it sounded so beautiful. She was a firecracker, turned heads wherever she went. She could always make me laugh even when I was sad as a small child, and loved seeing me do magic. I always wanted to be her as a kid, have the same way with words, to be instantly liked, hell, even be a courtier. I thought being an apprentice was awfully boring at first, which is hilarious because Heloisa thought being a courtier was boring as hell and all she wished for was to be a warrior like Cibela or a magician like me. But Tía Esmé said that I had gotten my father’s ‘tranquil mystique’ that drew people in, as well as his ability to read people.”

“I mean, you do have a ‘tranquil mystique’ which can be extremely charming.” Asra’s lips curved into a smile.

“Thank you, Asra, really.” Ximena replied. The smile on her face didn’t fade when she spoke next, and it had been something that had been bubbling underneath the surface ever since the conversation had turned towards this topic.

“And yet… in hindsight, they kind of sucked as parents. I mean, sure, they were nice, but… good grief, they were so absent in our lives from some point onwards -- even with Cibela, who they favoured to all hell and back! I really felt more like Esmé was my mother more than my actual mother at times!” She laughed. It wasn’t a particularly nice sound, much too bitter and dry but somehow she just felt the need to air her grievances.

“And then because Father was marqués he became more busy, went on more journeys, spent less time at the residence, and then didn’t come back from his trip to Fuck-knows-where alive and it changed Mother so much -- she was irritated more often than not, angry with Tía Esmé and by the time she became ill, she had all but locked herself up in the Summer Palace on our island in the Gulf of Cartagenth. And you know what’s the weird thing about all of this? I didn’t care about it at all. And that’s why I’m surprised in the first place about even remembering this birthday at all, because I’m so used to not caring that suddenly doing so just feels… idiotic.”

Ximena took a deep breath. Asra reached out as she sighed and rubbed her arm, obviously a bit surprised at her small outburst.

“I’m sorry. I wish… you had spent more time with them, and that they would have there for you when you needed them.”

Part of Ximena welcomed Asra’s sympathy, the other wanted to push it away and wrote it off as pity. She said nothing, merely nodded and wrapped her arms around herself. 

“Do you still want to make something for your mum’s birthday?” Asra asked slowly. “It could feel nice, and maybe then you won’t think of it as ‘idiotic’ anymore.” 

Ximena bit her lip. Maybe he was right… hell, Asra was by some miracle almost always right and taking his advice usually proved to be a step in the right direction. Perhaps swallowing her pride would be nice for a change, considering how admittedly damn hard it tended to be. 

“We could make a cake, and if you want it to not just be the two of us, Sayelle can join us.”

“Well, she doesn’t even know who I really am.”

Asra sighed. “You wouldn’t need to tell her, of course -- unless you want to do that as well. I know it took you some time to tell me, so I don’t wanna push you. But she’s a good person and a dear friend, I trust her to keep your secret.”

Ximena raised an eyebrow and eyed Asra. Truth be told, from the amount of time she had spent with the Bizateni magician who owned a shop for magical supplies as well as antiquities, she liked her but this… it was quite the thing to tell someone else. 

“I’ll think about it. The birthday is over anyway, so one or two days later won’t have my mother spinning in her grave more than she already might be.”

[flufflebones]

some more fun hcs about delphine [mc 1.... closest 2 my heart since ive used her in various settings for a While]! it’s a little long so im slapping it under a cut but its all sfw and all very much in good fun.

you know, mostly. i only really got two headcanons down and one is brief/about michael and the other is about pets in the devildom

- can and will fight michael do you think they saw the angel/anni event and were ok with it? yeah? no! just going to kick him hard enough in the shin to....... probably bust their own foot but its FINE 

- has an approximate accumulated f*ckton of devildom native and possibly (definitely) magical pets

[The list:

Sosig / Sausage - Hellhound - Gift from Beelzebub!:

A beast of considerable size and [reportedly] god awful temperament, bearing charcoal fur and the lingering [faint] scent of sulphur. More vulpine than canine, their frames are typically gaunt, with the flames that fuel their bodies licking out from the ends of their tails, their ankles and wrists [on their normal quadrupedal legs], the inner portions of their ears [leaving them at a disadvantage when it comes to hearing], their somewhat visible / open ribcage, and the corners of their mouth. 

Despite this general introduction, hellhounds are wildly varied and have a number of breeds and variations in recent history, typically intended for one of three purposes.

Companionship - These hellhounds are typically smaller in stature and less sturdy, with a tendency to bond strongly to one or two masters [with some consideration/leeway for those close to their master: See- Cerberus]. Arguably the most docile of any class of hellhound, they are still dangerous if not raised correctly, and have a nasty bite. Though not a true classification and with no formal means of training a hound to do so naturally, some companion hellhounds serve as a psuedo service dog, heavily attuned to the needs and potential problems unique to their primary master. This isn’t to say that they are an alternative to service animals, or anywhere near as well trained, *of course*, but the devildom is hardly the safest place for a regular human realm animal; And sometimes, you’ve just got to work with what you’ve got.

Sport / Show - Typically very much breed standard. While raised to tolerate handling and grooming, these traditionally built hellhounds are temperamental at best and borderline terrifying when their willful nature comes in direct conflict with a demonic handler who bit off more than they can chew. Heavily regulated, and typically owned by the elite.

Protection - The devildom is dangerous, and nobody is questioning that. Demons with a knack for animal handling [or demons who can afford to hire someone skilled with animals, of course!] breed and train these creatures to guard many things; People, places, objects, etc. They’re typically territorial and hard to train as a rule, as one cannot allow for a beast such as this to be tempted by treats or good petting from *anyone*, yfm?

Sausage is a bit of a mixed bag. Born from protective stock and bought by Beelzebub after overhearing Mammon trying to convince Lucifer to get Delphine/my mc a pet [who lays eggs, we’ll get there, that he can sell for a massive profit]. Being the youngest present brother at the time, anything capturing his interest other than food is both welcomed and encouraged in an attempt to positively reinforce him to not put the devildom at risk of a famine.

Delphine unintentionally raised this brick house of a hellhound puppy into a sort of in-between of companion and protector, with him being very social, very sweet, and *fairly* defensive and willful if things aren’t going his way. He’s typically the one to step in most successfully to motivate her to move around [yes, moreso than the brothers!] and do her day to day tasks, and is probably the best way to find out if something’s wrong with her-- Past being able to just kind of drag her off due to their size differential, his general wit and ability to communicate his needs and wants have led to unexpected food deliveries, blankets spread over her shoulders, and human world medicines arriving a few days before she shows any real signs of illness that she can see.

He’s also spoiled as all get out. If you’re sharing a bed/couch/blanket/etc with her, you can bet Sausage is soon to follow. Sorry, Mammon! He loooves table scraps and is almost as bad as Beel when it comes to eating things he shouldn’t [and looking too cute to be scolded about it too heavily].

Rocky - ... That’s just a rock, dude. - Gift from Belphegor:

It’s really hard to tell if Belphegor is messing around when he presents Delphine with a rough hewn black rock bearing two googly eyes, a pair of hilariously out of place crystalized horns, and a pair of similarly out of place crystal wings, but I swear on all things unholy, he’s doing it for a reason.

Though not... Really sentient, initially, Rocky just needs a good, possibly year long charging. Soulstones are sort of... Weird, in that they are inert and lifeless for as long as they remain with the boulders from which they are harvested. but typically-- After being exposed to a single party’s magical runoff and signature for a year or so-- absorb enough energy to come to life, their coloration and mineral makeup adjusting to fit the nature of the being they owe their life to. Delphine’s takes the form of a celestine and blue goldstone peryton; A winged stag. With crystalized wings and antlers, Rocky would almost look majestic; If it weren’t for the fact that the googly eyes have remained a feature that she has never been able to figure out how to remove. Soulstones are typically quiet observers, not requiring active care to thrive but delighting in contact [especially immediately post spell casting or magic use]. They are attuned to the needs of their magic bound masters, and typically exude an air of-- if not positive-- reassurance.

In Delphines Little Canon Divergence Corner, it’s likely that rocky coming into her care is one of the first of many attempts at reconciliation that Belphegor makes with her post chapter 16; And it honestly really, really sets him back, like, even when she returns to the human realm. Forgotten but included in her luggage, it’s a few weeks into her settling down on Earth that she finds the dinky little stone, and an overload of magic-- Possibly emotionally sourced, possibly due to unresolved tension/a discussion that never got to happen because he was being a little jerk about it-- sets off the transformation, which occurs overnight.

She recognizes the little stone figure when it approaches her in the morning, and one of her first texts about it is a simple, succinct “WTF” + an image attachment sent to Belphegor, specifically in the dead of night with the intention to wake him.

Henry “Pogchampion” 6.0, 7.0, and 8.0, A.K.A: “Pip! Minette! Beans!” - Infernal rats - Gift from Leviathan:

A note: If you don’t care for rats or you’re more familiar with their popular association with illness or disease/classification as vermin, and are only capable of thinking of them in that context, I don’t care. I am specifically talking about rats in the context of them being pets-- And good pets, at that. If you want to talk about how much you wish they were dead/didn’t exist, thats not my problem. Just don’t do it on a post discussing them as a pet, or I will block you!

Anyway!

Leviathan is probably the most appropriate person for them to get pet recommendations from, but her asking never winds up a necessity; When he finds out that he’s got another pet enthusiast in the house, he’s *all* about it, and when he finally [very unsubtly] weasels his way into the information he needs, he gets them to come along with him to what’s supposed to be a routine supply trip for Henry that just *CAN’T* be accomplished online. It’s a trip to *a* shop, but not what she’s expecting, especially when she gets to meet a handful of very curious, very playful, larger than a medium sized dog mice and rats. These guys are very much pests turned pets, with a small niche of hobbyists raising them and breeding them for temperament and overall health and disease resistance. Very social and very intelligent, they tend to thrive best in groups if one is not devoting all of their time to them as an individual. The type Leviathan recommends are on the smaller side, with cloudy, soft fur and sweet temperaments. And massive teeth, nubby horns, spade tipped tails, and very large, typically bony or leathery wings.

Levi is... Probably the one who wanted them, really. They get a little big, and tend to like to roughhouse, and they chew like nobody’s business-- And while he can’t risk his figures or merch or other Otaku Trappings or wires for everything in his room, he *CAN* risk Delphine’s. Plus, Sausage needs a friend, right? Or three?

They pick up three, all of whom are sisters, and all of whom on paper are named Henry “Pogchamp”, 6.0, 7.0, and 8.0, since he *is* technically the one paying for them and at least gets to do that much. Even when they start being named Pip, Minette, and Beans, in casual conversation, he can still hold on to the fact that they’ll always be Henries in his heart of hearts.

Sausage loves them to bits, for the record, but their interactions tend to be supervised/very brief even without the worry of him being able to harm any of them due to the general (and very appropriate) ill advisement of large predators interacting with smaller prey animals. It’s cute, sure, but it can be dangerous, and Delphine (and Levi, to a lesser extent, because he’s using the excuse of them being friends to keep Lucifer off of his ass for adding another animal to her menagerie) isn’t about to risk it.

Sweets - .... A black cat? That glitters? - Gift from Satan and Asmodeus:

Small, sleek, and independent, Sweets is probably the pet people see the least of all of Delphine’s little collection-- Though that doesn’t mean she’s not well loved. A pet project between Satan and Asmodeus, Sweets isn’t *technically* a cat; They’re a being comprised of shadow, somewhat similar in nature to a familiar without the connotation of them technically being a demon slash demonic. Who just so happens to have been enchanted to appear like and generally function in their day to day life as a cat. That sparkles, the only concession Satan was willing to grant Asmodeus in return for his help obtaining the materials necessary to create  the little beast (and in return for him taking the heat when Lucifer inevitably got pissy about it). Given its unique nature, very little is actually known about the little being of shadow past basic care and assumptions based on its generally feline behavioral patterns. The rats scare the hell out of it, however, and it tends to be out of sight except when called, hiding in shadows and only occasionally emerging on its own.

... Oh, and be careful. Satan hasn’t told Del yet, but it seems that the belly rubs this shadowy kitty offers tend  to bite off more than they can chew if they’re not careful. Asmodeus thinks its horrible. Who wants a pet with a massive maw of teeth in their stomach? Satan desperately wants to use this quirk in Sweets’ nature for a prank. Delphine already knows, but is playing dumb for the sake of faking surprise when its formally revealed.

Elysia - Gilded Crow - Gift from Lucifer and Mammon:

SO, i”M going to keep this short because i’ve been writing this for several hours at this point on and off and i really really want to be ready for my dinner when its ready, but!

Elysia is a sort of... Special circumstance. Literally. Devotees to Mammon-- And yes, there *are* people who think he’s a legitimate demon lord, the only people really allowed to treat him like garbage are his brothers and a few choice officials too strong to be eradicated as any lesser demon might have been-- with a background in magical augmentation specifically enchanted this line of crows to reflect that which is most valued by their Lord; Riches. They’re technically not legal due to their status as something of an organic money generator, but a select few in a small flockare kept under the watchful eyes of the Demon Lord and his immediate family, and those who have been trusted by his family members. This is where Lucifer comes in.

Understandably, Mammon is not allowed to have care of his flock, though he certainly wouldn’t be the worst at caring for them. He’d just also be selling their products illegally, and you can’t have that!

Elysia wears a small enchanted band comprised of dull, unimpressive iron-- The kind of thing Mammon would neither notice nor have interest in. This band is enchanted, and serves as a sort of storage space for any of Ely’s dropped organic components. Talons, feathers, eggs-- Everything is automatically absorbed into the band, rendering the bird borderline useless outside of being a gorgeous pet, and a gigantic nuisance. 

Lucifer hates to admit it, but he really is a fan of the large, intelligent, gorgeous creature; And Mammon thinks it’s really funny to teach her to take shiny things (like grimm, loose jewelry, gum wrappers, etc), even past the sentimental value of the bird itself and what her kind represents to him. 

Delphine adores her, too, and is about as good an influence on her as Mammon is-- Teaching her to speak, in some capacity, simply by repeating certain words or phrases to herself as she does things in the day to day, especially during feeding time. It’s all fun and games, until this pretty golden bird calls Lucifer a ‘motherf*cker’ while she thinks he’s out of the room while visiting with Diavolo for an update on her health.

[betterbe-ravenclaw]

A HPHM character profile - Naomi Kinnley

Naomi has been being developed for a good while now, and I know that my version of events will clash with that of others (over love interest, profession, interests, family etc) so I really hope that won't be a problem. It's taken a long time for me to post this because I'm extremely nervous but hopefully Naomi and I can fit into the community!

(This wonderful profile template is by @hogwartsmysterystory and made introducing Naomi so much easier than it could have been, so thank you!)

Also the artwork is by me. Still practicing humans.

Identity:

Name: Naomi Justine kinnley

Gender: Female

Age: 15 (in game currently, I guess her age technically changes with each scenario as necessary)

Date of Birth: 27th April 1973

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half-Blood

Sexuality: straight (or heterosexual, they both mean the same thing right?)

Ethnicity: English, Welsh, French

Nationality: English

Residence: The Kinnley Household, #.17 Turley Avenue, Norwich, Norfolk, England

MBPT: ISFP - the adventurer

The Mage:

1st wand: cedar, dragon heartstring core, slightly springy, 11 ½ inches

“...‘you will never fool the cedar carrier,’ and I agree: the cedar wand finds its perfect home where there is perspicacity and perception. I would go further than my father, however, in saying that I have never yet met the owner of a cedar wand whom I would care to cross, especially if harm is done to those of whom they are fond. The witch or wizard who is well-matched with cedar carries the potential to be a frightening adversary, which often comes as a shock to those who have thoughtlessly challenged them”

“As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner.”

2nd wand: willow, phoenix feather core, reasonably supple, 12 ¼ inch

“Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, and I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. While many confident customers insist on trying a willow wand (attracted by their handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn...”

“This is the rarest core type. Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn or dragon cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike.”

Animagus: N/A

Misc magical abilities: Apparition and Disapparition

Boggart form: missing a chance to save somebody special to her (usually Rowan, her brother or Murphy) because she was preoccupied with something novel and insignificant. Knowing she should have and could have been there and would have been able to help - but wasn’t. (Shows up as herself with her back to the incident, not noticing when her loved one calls out for help)

Riddikulus form: in being preoccupied with said novel activity, she misses her loved one(s) not being murdered, but instead making silly faces 0r acting clownish behind her back, a bit like in a pantomime.

Amortentia (their smell): home baked bread, a wildflower field, crisp new parchment, baled hay, plums from her grandparents’ orchard and vanilla.

Amortentia (what they smell): mown grass, cinnamon, old books, home baked cookies, polished leather, lavender laundry detergent and the sea.

Patronus: leopardess

Strong

Graceful

Quiet

Independent

Protective

Patronus memory: sitting at the attic window with her brother early on christmas morning as a child, drinking hot chocolate with those tiny muggle marshmallows and munching on their mother’s cookies that they weren't supposed to have until the afternoon. Talking and playing wizards chess, exploding snap and their dad's old Muggle board games, watching the sunrise and being together.

Mirror of erised:

during hogwarts - reliving her patronus memory every christmas as tradition goes. Still having Jacob shake her awake at ridiculous o’clock and take her upstairs to the window where he’d set up their blanket instead of waking up of her own accord and sitting alone until the sunrise.

As an adult - hosting dinner at the house she shares with her husband and children for all her close friends and family. All of them. Those who are gone would be there too for a night of good food and good company where the children would run around playing and Naomi would get a warm feeling of belonging in her heart.

specialized/favourite spell:

Pretego - she never wants anyone she loves to come to harm, especially after rowans passing.

Expecto Patronum - beautiful, peaceful and protective. Useful and stunning all at the same time. A thing of comfort and joy.

Avis - she’s calmed around animals and birds. Just for fun.

Ferula & episkey - similar to protego, to help those who come to harm and keep them from pain as much as possible.

Lumos - simple and useful. It was one of the first things she learnt at Hogwarts and feels nostalgic.

Appearance:

Faceclaim: Willa Holland (just imagine she has freckles.)

Game appearance:

Height: 5’6” (170.7cm)

Weight: 151lbs (68.5kg)

Physique: Slim

Eye colour: hazel, quite green in places

Hair colour: dark brown, looks ginger in the sun, loosely curly

Skin tone: medium, somewhere in between olive and pale.

Body modifications: she has one piercing in each earlobe that she got aged 10. She mainly just wears studs.

Scarring: nothing major, she has a few little scars from mundane accidents like cutting her knee on a rock but that's about it.

Inventory: wand, quill, ink, chapstick, hair ties, a hairbrush, prefect badge, scrap parchment, glasses, glasses case, half finished bag of sherbet lemons, unopened packet of every flavour beans and a leather notebook with unlimited pages for notes on everything

Fashion: Naomi likes to pair denim bottoms (jeans or shorts or sometimes a skirt if she's in the mood) with a t-shirt - she likes the ones with different coloured sleeves and also ones with words on the front. She'll also wear denim jackets and leggings and knitted sweaters and sometimes summer dresses and skirts. She mostly likes comfortable stuff. If it feels good on her body and she's comfortable in it she'll wear it.

Allegiances:

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Affiliations / organisations: the circle of Khanna, the order of the phoenix, the ministry of magic, the department of magical law enforcement - auror division

Professions:

Age 11-18 : Hogwarts student

Age 18-21 : Trainee Auror, part of the ministry of magic's department of magical law enforcement Auror training programme

Age 21-25 : Junior Auror, department of magical law enforcement - Auror devison

Age 25 - 28 : unemployed, having taken a break from work to focus on the family after the war

Age 28 - 40 : Senior Auror, department of Magical law enforcement - Auror devison

Age 40 - 46 : Head Auror, department of Magical law enforcement - Auror devison

Age 46 - 48 : Assistant manager at Cathy's Bakes (her mother in law's bakery)

Age 48 - Retirement : manager at Cathy's Bakes

Hogwarts info:

Class proficiencies:

Astronomy - E

Charms - O

Defence against the dark arts - O

Flying - O

Herbology - A

History of magic - E

Potions - O

Transfiguration - O

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures - O

Arithmancy - E

Divination - A

Quidditch: Chaser from 2nd year onwards

Extra curricular: Quidditch, Dueling Club, prefect

Favourite professors: Flitwick, McGonagall, Kettleburn

Least favourite professors: Binns, Trelawney, Rakepick

Relationships:

Brother: Jacob William Kinnley

born 5th October, 1964

Goes by J

Ravenclaw

About 8 years older than Naomi

Curly brown hair, green eyes, really tall, stubble

Kind-hearted, witty, humorous and strong, though short tempered and more reserved after his disappearance

Was always Naomi's favourite sibling Because he was similar to her and actually had time for her. They were very close growing up, pushing Naomi to try and find him. She wanted that back.

Misc siblings: Cynthia Eleanor Kinnley

Born 16th January 1968

Goes by Cindy

Gryffindor

About 5 years older than Naomi

Straight black hair, hazel eyes, tall, attractive

Outgoing, kind, reckless and charming. She and Naomi fought more and weren't as close as Naomi and Jacob.

Ran off to study magical creatures in Africa after Jacob's disappearance to escape her troubles.

Independent magizoologist, works with a small team on less explored species

Father: Anthony Kinnley

Born 7th March 1942

Muggleborn

Ravenclaw

Curly dark brown hair, green eyes, tall, stubble

Kind-hearted, protective, quiet, calm and stronger than he looks. Was able to keep himself together following Jacobs disappearance, if only for the sake of his wife and daughters.

Works for the ministry of magic, department of international magical cooperation

Mother: Eleanor Kinnley née Campbell

Born 18th May 1942

Pureblood

Hufflepuff

Straight black hair, hazel eyes, short, curvy, beautiful

Used to be jolly, humorous and charming, though is mentally unstable after Jacob disappeared. Depressed and not like she used to be, particularly around holidays.

Currently unemployed, hardly leaves the house. Previously a nurse at St. Mungo's hospital for magical maladies and injuries

Grandparents: Marigold Kinnley (née West), William Kinnley, Justine Campbell (née Bordeaux), Henry Campbelll (Deceased)

Misc family members: Simon Kinnley (Uncle), Timothy Kinnley (uncle), Flora Kinnley (née Brown, Aunt), Laura Peters (née Kinnley, Aunt), Robert Peters (Uncle), Geraldine Campbell (Great Aunt), Delia Peters (Cousin), Felicity Peters (Cousin), Liam Peters (cousin) , Marcus Kinnley (cousin), Cathleen McNully (Mother-in-law)

Love interest:

Barnaby Lee (Briefly - 4th year)

Attended the celestial ball together

Barnaby broke it off after a few weeks wanting to be just friends

Naomi had much the same feelings

Murphy McNully (Briefly -5th year)

Dated in secret for about a month and a half

Broke it off because they didn't see eye to eye in their relationship.

Ended with an argument

Charlie Weasley (Briefly - 5th year)

Flirted shameless for weeks

Went on about four dates before Naomi realised she didn't feel right with him and stopped the relationship before too much happened

Murphy McNully (5th year onwards - Spouse)

Got back together in undisclosed circumstances after Naomi and Charlie agreed to be just friends

Spent a year doing long distance after Murphy graduated (him being in the year above her)

Moved in together after Naomi graduated

Eventually Married before having five children.

Children:

Marigold Rowan McNully,

born 28th June, 1993

Goes by Goldie

Ravenclaw

Golden child

Lives up to her namesakes dream of becoming hogwarts' youngest ever professor (Transfiguration)

Cathleen Penelope McNully,

born 1st February, 1995

Likes to be called Kitty or Kit

Gryffindor

Bit of a troublemaker

Professional beater and quidditch star before taking over at the bakery for a 3rd generation

Anthony Jacob McNully,

born 2nd December 1998

Has the nickname Tony

Ravenclaw

Bisexual

Qualified healer working with underprivileged wizarding communities

Eleanor Nymphadora McNully,

born 13th August 2002

Everyone calls her Nelly

Hufflepuff

Daddy's girl through and through

Follows in her father's footsteps becoming a professional quidditch commentator

Henry Charles McNully,

born 30th April 2006

Ravenclaw

Bit of a mummy's boy

A surprise baby

An Auror like his mother

Best friends:

Rival: Merula Snyde, Erika Rath

(school) - Rowan Kahnna, Nymphadora Tonks, Tulip Karasu, Charlie Weasley, Skye Parkin, Penny Haywood, Murphy McNully.

Enemy: Patricia Rakepick

Dormmates: Rowan Kahnna, Tulip Karasu, Badeea Ali

Pets:

Toby

Chocolate brown cocker spaniel

Lives at her home with her parents

Miranda

Birman Cat

Accompanies Naomi to Hogwarts

Maurice

Black horse with a balze (white mark on face)

Lives at her grandparents farm

Closest canon friends: Rowan, Penny, Murphy, Skye, Charlie, Tonks, Tulip, Bill, Andre, Barnaby, Orion, Badeea

Closest MC friends:

Ravenna Glynn (@chronic-clinomania )

Calista Slater (@i-am-not-cursed )

Naomi's always willing to make new friends, even if it takes her a while to pluck up the courage to approach somebody. Maybe message me if you want your MC to be friends?

Background / history:

Pre-Hogwarts:

Naomi was born at 7:13am on the 27th of April 1973 (a week late) as the third and youngest child to Eleanor and Anthony Kinnley.

Her childhood is happy. She gets along with both parents and both siblings (though she and Cindy clash more than her and Jacob) and has a pretty normal home life - save for the magic part.

Jacob began attending Hogwarts when Naomi was only 3 years old, And Cynthia when she was 6, making for a good amount of quiet time which Naomi was very fond of.

As soon as Naomi was able to read and write fluently - about aged 6 - she would exchange letters with both her siblings. She and Jacob wrote to each other more often, as they were the closest of the siblings.

She attended a Muggle primary school like her siblings, though only ever made a couple of friends and wasn't too upset to lose contact with them when she left for hogwarts.

Though the first wizarding war was taking place throughout her childhood, Naomi's family had never been a large target or very involved in the war effort - her parents had decided to put safety above all else, therefore neglecting to join the order of the phoenix and keeping themselves to themselves as much as possible.

Naomi was 8, nearing 9, when Jacob went missing in 1981. Old enough to understand and make her own judgements of the situation. She was immediately distraught though found it hard to accept that her beloved big brother would just leave her and spent over a year writing to him to find out where he had gone, without a single reply. In the end, just before she left for Hogwarts, Naomi decided that she'd do whatever it took to find her brother, her stubbornness taking over.

In Hogwarts:

Of course, the events of Hogwarts mystery happen during this time, though other points include the following

After being sorted into Ravenclaw house, Naomi quickly becomes very close friends with Rowan Khanna. After their initial meeting in Diagon alley, Naomi feels comfortable enough to talk freely with the girl and by the time Christmas rolls around she can firmly say that Rowan is her best friend.

Naomi is obviously a competent and talented student in many areas. A lot of teachers take a shine to her as she's focused and a hard worker. Therefore, she's often asked to perform demonstrations and to assist other students.

In her second year, Naomi became the newest chaser on the Ravenclaw quidditch team. To this day, she is grateful to Penny for pushing her to try out because quidditch helped her become the person she is today and introduced her to some of her closest friends and, of course, her now-husband.

Naomi spends a lot of time at the quidditch pitch, In the quidditch stands, in the three broomsticks, by the black lake and, after accidentally stumbling upon it in her 6th year with Tonks, Tulip and Charlie, the room of requirement. After Christmas of 5th year, Naomi also spends a good amount of time in the kitchens, practicing her new hobby of baking.

She and her dorm-mates often stock up on sweets from honeydukes and chose a night to stay up talking and eating until the morning. At some point, they started inviting other girl friends into the dorm for the night (starting after tonks unsuccessfully tried to sneak in behind tulip.)

Post Hogwarts:

Having been unsure about what her career would be all throughout school, Naomi decided to join Tonks in the auror training programme. She deduces that this job would be a good fit for her, and ends up really enjoying it.

Murphy proposes to her 3 years after the initial start of their relationship

They're married not long after, with Penny as Maid of Honour and Orion as best man. Naomi had both her father and brother give her away.

She and Murphy end up living near his mother in a previously abandoned house just outside his home town. It's pretty secluded so they can practice magic without worrying.

By 1995, Naomi and Murphy had had their first two children - Marigold and Cathleen - just as the second wizarding war was beginning.

The second wizarding war:

Both Naomi and Murphy join the order of the phoenix, her auror training coming in handy and him being focused on strategies (what else?). She has many missions, including surveillance and combat.

In joining the order of the phoenix, Naomi gets a chance to meet the golden trio. Harry, Ron and Hermione immediately seem more than capable, and Naomi makes sure she takes the time to let them know she's willing to help them out however she can.

In early 1998, Naomi falls pregnant for a third time, though decides that she won't tell anyone until she has to, trying not to add stress to the already scary times.

During the battle of Hogwarts, Naomi had very close encounters with Bellatrix LeStrange and Augustus Rookwood - both of whom came rather close to finishing her off. Fortunately, her auror training, dueling club experience and protect-don't-harm nature came through, and she managed to stun both death eaters before they took her life.

Naomi was there to witness Tonks' death. That moment was haunting and still shows up in her nightmares from time to time. She was also in the vicinity when Fred Weasley was killed.

Throughout the entire war, Naomi did not use an unforgivable curse once - something she's proud of as she often wanted to murder those death eaters who took her friends.

Post second wizarding war:

Murphy and Naomi both Survive the war, and Naomi took a break from work after the war to recover from the trauma and focus on herself and her family.

When she finally goes back to work, she is able to get to know Harry Potter and Ron Weasley a lot better and they end up becoming good family friends (along with the rest of the weasley family.)

She remains an Auror until the age of 46 (become head auror during this time) before resigning and taking over from her mother in law at the bakery. It's a very much welcomed change of pace (although Naomi is always willing to lend a hand on the odd auror mission at the request of Harry.)

Naomi often invites a large gathering of friends and family over for celebrations - notable occasions include New year's, her children's birthdays and the anniversary of both Rowan's death and the battle of Hogwarts. There's always a lot of food (usually prepared with the help of Cathy and Molly Weasley) and good times.

Home life is wonderful, She and Murphy have a very happy marriage and spend their lives together with their children, and then later their grandchildren.

Personality:

Protective - Naomi is very keen on the defensive way of doing things. She doesn't like to cause harm to anybody unless she can't see any alternative way out of a situation. Along with this, although she is usually pretty quiet and reserved, Naomi will never stand by whilst somebody (especially a friend) is struggling or in trouble. It's one of the few circumstances where Naomi will actually put herself into the action voluntarily.

Creative - Naomi is good at thinking on the spot. She can come up with solutions to a problem when all other possible solutions fall through by thinking outside the box.

Loyal - Naomi hasn't always found it easy to make friends, she's shy and gets very nervous talking to new people, but once she's made friends with somebody Naomi is always going to be there. She's always willing to take on their problems and help in whatever way she can, and makes sure that her friends know how grateful she is to have them and that she's always there when they need her.

Empathetic - Naomi is very good at understanding the feelings of others and knowing exactly what to say to make people calm down and feel better. She can put herself in people's shoes and also acts as the peacekeeper in many arguments as she can .

Easily Stressed - Naomi is an overthinker, she starts to panic when things start to go wrong and gets very stressed. The smallest thing can make her frustrated or worried, and though she can usually hide these feelings in the day, they always come out at night or at any time if they're strong enough. She finds it very hard to let go and let bad things happen.

Stubborn - Naomi isn't likely to back down from many things without a fight. She doesn't like to be wrong, accept too much help or admit she's made a mistake, just as she hates to lose an argument. She always makes sure to be as calm and polite as possible if she has different feelings, but sometimes she can't help but raise her voice.

Naomi is also pretty patient, indecisive, quiet, a good listener, generous and naturally intelligent among other things.

Miscellaneous:

As a baby, Naomi has thick, long, curly hair and was rather chubby, though by the time she reached 7, her curls loosened and her baby fat was no longer a problem. She still had very long hair though.

She goes by Mia to her friends, and Nomi, love and Mia to Murphy. She's also the only person other than his mother who's allowed to call Murphy by his first name or Murph, and also calls him darling, McNully and button (the nickname button has a backstory that I may or may not disclose at some point. She only calls him that when she's teasing him though.)

She was very nearly a hatstall between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff - and she ended up dictating the final decision. Naomi knows she would have been fine in either house now, but at the time, Ravenclaw seemed like the only option because Rowan had just been sorted into it, and it had been the house of her brother.

Although Naomi has glasses, she can usually see just fine without them, and doesn't bother wearing them outside of class.

She's a fiddler a doodler and a nail biter. All happen when she's nervous and/or bored. She'll work her nails down as much as she can and will pick up and play around with just about anything. She's also very prone to drawing and writinh all over her wrists - lists, memos, ideas, harmless pictures of golden snitches and nifflers and Murphy.

Naomi can both ride and drive horses and enjoys it rather a lot. She learnt on her Muggle grandparents' farm where she spent most of her summer holidays as a child and Hogwarts student.

Naomi and Murphy's mother Cathleen, or Cathy, are very good friends. They get along incredibly well and Naomi now comes to Cathy more than her own mother for advice. They spend a lot of time discussing Murphy and other things - often baking in the meantime (Cathy introduced her to baking and Naomi even ends up taking over her bakery business.)

Naomi was one of the few people allowed to attend Tonks and Remus' Wedding, and likes to keep in touch with Teddy Lupin after his parents death (relatively easy as he's good friends with her son Anthony and her Daughter Eleanor.)

She can't decide if her favourite colour is Yellow or blue. They've been her top two since forever but she's never been quite sure which is better.

[fericita-s]

A Woman of Consequence

A new Agduna story from the canon-compliant WAIL series with @the-spastic-fantastic​ who also helped me brainstorm this piece and wrote all of Henrik’s best lines, remaining the best beta ever! This takes place right before Only in Dreams.

Summary: Iduna attends a garden party hosted by the the king and attended by several  eligible young ladies, one of whom is particularly unpleasant.

Agnarr hadn’t even meant to invite her, she didn’t think.  He had mentioned the garden party while she was tending to the comfrey shrubs in her medicinal gardens, pruning them a bit so they didn’t take over other sections of the neatly ordered rows.  Agnarr had come out after a council meeting focused on international relations and sighed.

“Lady Wollen has invited just as many foreign women to come this time as she did for my birthday ball. I’ll have to speak to them all and at least pretend to consider proposing courtship or a better trade partnership.  I’m not even sure which they want.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and then his eyes.   Iduna didn’t know if the flare of anger she felt at his words was for him or these nameless women who would come and hold his hand and promise riches from their kingdom in order to secure a good relationship with his. 

Her response was a muttered “Mmmmmm,” as she continued her work, careful to keep her attention on the purple blooms of comfrey and not on his eyes. What good would it do to even hope she could be one of the women he considered for a bride?  She had lived in Arendelle long enough to learn that kings didn’t marry commoners.  Especially orphaned commoners from lands that were at war with their kingdoms.  His friendship would have to be enough, even if there were days when sharing what was on their minds - like the need to court and marry a foreign royal -  was a thorn deep in her palm, pulsing with every movement.

“Could you come, Iduna?” She moved her hand to the next section of green brush to trim, only then seeing his hand come to rest in the spot where hers had been only a moment before.  She paused and looked at him.  Had he been about to touch her hand? “I would like to have a friend there. Among the wolves.”

She smiled at him like she would for a customer, not letting him see the longing her heart felt for a different question. “Yes, Your Majesty.  Of course I’ll come.”

So now here she was, a month later, pressing her hands along the pleats of her dress, a simple but well-made blue silk borrowed from Maddie.  It was not as formal, perhaps, as the dresses on the other women present at the garden party, but it was fancier than the dresses she wore when working at Mr. Visser’s Apothecary.  Besides, Greet had insisted she at least change clothes before walking to the castle from her job in Market Square and Greet was very convincing when she wanted to be.

The decorative gardens weren’t a part of the castle grounds that Iduna knew very well.  The medicinal gardens felt like her own land and technically they were ever since Agnarr gifted her with the plot upon her graduation from the academy.  The council meeting room, the library, the rooms that had been used for classes – all of them felt comfortable to her. She had even spent the night on two occasions – once during the Rock Pox epidemic and once years before when a blizzard kept her and some of the other students from walking home.

Today, though, the castle felt unfamiliar.

Maybe it was the dozens of visiting dignitaries, most of them young women hoping to find a match with the young king. They were dressed in finery that was surely not borrowed from a slightly shorter friend and walked in the graceful, dainty steps of those not used to avoiding cobblestones cracked in the street or darting past an errant cart or the leavings of a horse.  She recognized a few of them from the ball on Agnarr’s birthday.  Some even wore the crocus pins he had given out that night as gifts from the kingdom.

Her hand went to the necklace hidden beneath the high collar of her dress, a fossil inlaid with gold on a delicate chain.  It had been her present from Agnarr that night and, though she normally admired it from its spot hanging on her bedpost instead of wearing it and worrying it might be damaged during her work, today she had worn it to feel its cool weight on her skin.  It was a reminder that Agnarr thought of her, of the time they had spent together while still young and unencumbered by the future, and of her hope that they could remain friends even as he drew closer to selecting a bride. A talisman she could draw strength from, a token of his care.

She saw Elias and Captain Calder speaking to a man in the naval uniform of the Southern Isles and Henrik smiling winsomely at a woman in a heavily brocaded gown.  Iduna laughed to herself, wondering if she’d soon have to brew one of the remedies that Henrik was so dependent upon for his thriving relationships with women. This woman leaned close to Henrik and whispered something in his ear and Iduna watched as Henrik’s hand disappeared between her shawl and her skirt.

Agnarr, Lady Wollen, and a young woman dressed in a white gown with lace dripping from the sleeves and collar entered the garden from the gate closest to the castle. Agnarr raised a hand in greeting to Iduna and steered his companions over to her.  When they were only a few steps away from each other he made introductions.

“Iduna! This is Lady Alexsandra, sister to the Duke of Weselton.  I believe-”

“And granddaughter to the Tsarina,” the woman said, eyelashes fluttering at Agnarr.  He looked a little confused and Lady Wollen fixed the young woman with the same glare she reserved for councilors who spoke out of turn.

“Um, yes.”  Agnarr rallied.   “I believe you both met briefly at the ball?”

“Enchanté,” she said to Iduna, looking anything but.

“Nice to see you again.”  Iduna nodded to her and was about to ask about her travel when Lady Wollen spoke.

“We were just talking about you, Iduna.  Agnarr mentioned that we should be sure to include your medicinal gardens on a tour for the visitors.” Lady Wollen turned to Alexsandra with a smile and added “Iduna is the best of Arendelle, an example of how well foreigners are welcomed and become citizens, how they have helped build our kingdom into the wealthy state that it is.”

Lady Alexsandra pursed her lips, like she’d just noticed her own hem was already soaked in two inches of mud though Iduna didn’t think the tilt of her upturned chin gave her the range to see down that low. 

“Yes I’ve been quite shocked by how...permissive Arendelle is in citizenry.  In Weselton, only fourth generation families have the right to apply.” She looked over at Elias and Captain Calder, pointing with her pointy chin. “And it’s certainly never granted to those who are more Antilles françaises than français.”

Iduna was so shocked that she could only watch as red crept up from the skin at Agnarr’s collar all the way out to the tips of his ears. “The Calders are a beloved family.”

Alexsandra smiled and put a hand to her chest. “Oh, I’m sure they are! Doubtless they have served the monarchy well to be so close to you.  And a strong queen would no doubt steer you even more dependably.”

Iduna wasn’t sure where to look at that particular pronouncement, but hazarded a quick one at Lady Wollen who seemed to be very preoccupied with breathing through her nose and then at Agnarr who was slowly shaking his head and opening his mouth without any sound.  Eventually, he stumbled over a goodbye.

“If you’ll excuse me, I must make the rounds to my guests.  But Iduna, I will seek you out once that is sorted.”  He kissed the back of Lady Alexsandra’s hand, but his eyes were on Iduna and he bowed his head to her and Lady Wollen before walking briskly towards the groups of ladies who were already watching his approach.

“I must leave as well,” Lady Wollen said and Iduna thought she heard a note of apology in her voice. “We weren’t expecting your presence at the close of our council meeting, Lady Alexsandra. There are some details I must discuss with Lord Hannesel before he leaves.” 

Iduna watched as she left, wondering what she could possibly say to this woman who had apparently attended a council meeting uninvited and then besmirched the heritage of the Calder children.  She watched as Gerda walked nearby with a tray of ice water, offering it to the gathered groups and as Lady Wollen put a hand on Henrik’s arm, drawing him away from his latest lady of interest, and spoke to him.  Alexsandra seized upon the silence between them.

“I remember you from the ball.  The king started the dancing with you. And then he spoke of you through most of our dance.”

Iduna flushed and nodded, unsure what was expected of her in this conversation that felt more like an accusation.

“His little orphan friend, so brave to start anew after losing her whole family.  You know,” she said, as she put a hand on Iduna’s elbow and then took it away quickly, wiping her fingers on the handkerchief that was draped over the beaded reticule on the crook of her own elbow, “Most queens don’t even mind when the king chooses a mistress or continues a romance established prior to the marriage.  Especially with a commoner like a shop girl or a servant. A king can seek satisfaction wherever he pleases, but it’s the queen’s chambers he’ll come to every night for an heir and the glory of the kingdom.”

Iduna blinked and took a step back. “Excuse me?”

“I know I wouldn’t be fussed about a mistress. It’s all very inconsequential when one is wearing a crown.” She reached in her reticule for a fan and snapped it open, waving it quickly in front of her face and sighing.

“But not all the women here are as likely to be as open-minded and understanding as me.  Now, do be a dear and fetch me some water. This bright sun is bringing on a headache.”

Iduna took a breath as if slapped, too stunned to speak.  She thought about telling Alexsandra she would never get her water, or getting a glass and then tossing the contents in her face, but decided appearing to comply with her rude directions gave her the perfect opportunity to just leave. And as her heart was pounding and something was rising in her throat and behind her eyes, leaving quickly was suddenly very important.  She gave an exaggerated curtsey and managed to walk several paces away before she felt tears hot and heavy in her eyes and ran into the solid form of Henrik.  

“Here, come with me,” he said gently.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and he put an arm around her waist and guided her into the castle courtyard, walking briskly all the way across the bridge connecting the castle to Market Square and slowing his pace only when  they were in a small side street that would eventually lead to Fiske’s. As they walked, Iduna untucked the necklace from her bodice, gripping it tightly.

She had been so stupid.   

She was just like the necklace.  That's all she could be to him. Hidden. Something beautiful once, but now on a chain, kept out of sight. 

“Well, she certainly seemed vile,” said Henrik, his voice light and almost teasing, even though the quickness of his pace and the furrow of his brow indicated a different weight to the interaction he must have witnessed.

“She didn’t say anything untrue.  Or nothing much untrue, anyway,” Iduna said softly, straightening a bit so that she wasn’t leaning on Henrik as heavily.

Henrik stopped and dropped his hand from around her waist and looked at her.  “If she said that Agnarr doesn’t care for you, or that you don’t have a place here, that was untrue.  That was a damn lie.”

Iduna had stopped when he did, but began walking instead of answering him.  She didn’t know what to say.

“She was a ridiculous woman in a ridiculous dress, trying to wear white like Queen Victoria on her wedding day.  Like she hoped it might give Agnarr a sudden idea and they could head to the bishop instead of the party.” He huffed a bit as he walked, running to catch up to her. “Slow down, Iddy.  I’m out of breath.”

Iduna slowed her pace but still didn’t speak.  Swallowing down the lump in her throat was taking precedence.

“But listen.  Iddy.” Henrik was next to her again, keeping pace and speaking so earnestly it made the lump bigger and she wished he would stop.  “If you ever want to leave Arendelle, if you ever want to start anew, you can.  My mother is always looking for sound investments and your medical concoctions and skills are sorely needed in England and on the continent.”

Iduna wiped at her eyes and nose, turning her head away from Henrik. He fumbled in his pockets and pulled out a handkerchief, thrusting it into her hands.

“I leave soon for England and I can set you up with a job there. With my mother’s company or as my own personal remedy maker or we set you up with your own shop. Believe me. There is quite the market there."

Iduna used the handkerchief to wipe at her eyes and then nose and then balled it up and clutched it in her hand.  "Caused by you?"

Henrik laughed. “There you are,” he said and Iduna didn’t think he was talking about Fiske’s, now just yards from where they stood.  He patted her awkwardly on the arm.  “But, please, don’t pay any mind to what people like her say.  She’s jealous because for all her airs, she knows that you’re better than her.”  Iduna rolled her eyes, but Henrik just shook his head.  “No, I mean it.  You’re the one who saved Arendelle during an outbreak.  You’re the one who got invited to the council not because of family connections, but because of who you are.  And you’re the one that Agnarr cares about.  And someone like her - who looks at him and just sees a crown, it must drive her mad.”

They stood in silence for a few moments until she gave a small shrug and wiped her eyes.  “He is a good friend.”

Henrik opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, then sighed and rubbed his face.  “Just - Iddy, if you need to leave Arendelle, you’ll have opportunities elsewhere.  You have my word.  But please don’t consider leaving because of a woman like that.”

She held out her hand, offering the handkerchief back and he took it, squeezing her hand as he did.

“Thank you, “ she said.

“You’re welcome, Iddy. And remind those roommates of yours about my going-away party. I want to have everyone I care about there.”

Iduna nodded and took a shaky breath. “Sounds like I should start a new batch of your most frequently requested treatment in preparation.”

Henrik smiled and waggled his eyebrows. “That would be very wise.”

Iduna turned and walked the rest of the way by herself and before she was all the way up the stairs she had taken off the necklace, vowing to find a new place for that wouldn’t be visible from her bed.  She would bury it out of sight and maybe the memory of today would hurt less.

***

Lady Wollen sighed as she undid the buckles on her shoes and rolled down her stockings, then put her feet up on the stool and settled against the down pillow.  The large window of her bedroom looked out over Market Square and had a beautiful view of the castle, but tonight she kept her eyes closed.  

She needed a break.

The young king was so earnest and so kind and had so many wonderful ideas for advancing the kingdom’s interests as well as those of its citizens.  He was more patient than his father had been and more compassionate as well.  He understood the gravity of his position and took it seriously, even at the tender age of eighteen.  But sometimes he could be a complete idiot.

He hadn’t recognized Alexsandra’s uninvited arrival at the council meeting as the serious problem that it was.  He hadn’t perceived the language of manipulation and patronizing tone in her interactions with Iduna.  And he apparently didn’t understand the workings of his own heart which were literally painfully obvious to those around him.  

Today, it had been painful for Iduna.  If Henrik hadn’t gone to rescue her from what was surely a dreadful conversation with Alexsandra, worse things than bee stings and spilled lemonade would have marred the garden party. And perhaps had a permanent international impact if Agnarr had realized what was happening and ordered the Weselton delegation to leave or cut off trade relations to censure the rudeness of its delegates.

She reached for the flask in her pocket and set it down on the side table with a sigh.  Empty.  

If the king didn’t ask to court Iduna soon, she might have to retire early.  Or kidnap them both and lock them in a tower together.  Or the dungeon.  Or the clock tower.  Anywhere that they could remain until he confessed his feelings and Iduna stayed still long enough to hear that no one in Arendelle cared about the bloodline of the king’s bride. 

For now, she could ring the servant for a glass of mulled wine and think on her parting words to Alexsandra, reveling in the delightful look of anger and frustration on the young woman’s face as she had told her “Iduna may have left his party early, but she’s the only one out of the two of you who will be invited back.”

[fallinnflower]

it all goes to you

ten x reader x johnny ?, (angst to fluff, friends to lovers, non-idol!au)

a/n: i don’t wanna spoil it so it’s technically a surprise ending~

You first meet Johnny and Jaehyun during your first year of university, when you land a tech job at the campus radio station. It’s not the most interesting one in the world, but it’s better and more aligned with your interests than working in the campus cafeteria. Their set, Night Night, just happened to be the last one you worked every Friday evening, and so you often ended up walking across campus with them.

The two of them lived in a frat just off the edge of campus with a few of their friends (whom you’d met through their guest hosting on the radio show), but they were always willing to walk you back to your dorm hall before backtracking to their house. 

Eventually, either Johnny or Jaehyun or one of their roommates (serving as a guest for the night) would bring you coffee or food along with them, or invite you out after the show. While you hadn’t gotten the job with the intention of making friends, you suddenly found yourself welcomed into the friendly frat’s circle.

And it's through the frat and radio show that you officially met Ten.

You had a couple of classes with Ten, but neither of you had ever really spoken to each other — in part because you were too intimidated by his good looks. 

(After his first guest radio appearance he suddenly slid into the seat beside you in your shared morning class, leaving you startled and flustered.

“Y/N!” He’d greeted, “I didn’t recognize you without those big headphones on.” You’d been a little confused by his statement, because you didn’t think those radio show headphones made you look very different, but you managed a laugh as he pulled out his notebook and books.

You two have been seat-mates in your shared classes ever since, and you’d only fallen harder.)

Despite seeing Ten more often, you still find yourself being closest with Johnny and Jaehyun (though Lucas argues that he’s your true best friend) as far as the boys in the frat go. It’s not to say that they aren’t all nice, but they’re the ones you spend the most time with. Also, Johnny’s room is the best to nap in; he has a lot of plushies. 

With that being said, you fully expect the invitation you get to celebrate Johnny’s birthday at the frat house when it happens to fall on a weekend, and also fully expect being asked to help set up.

The house is already insane when you show up, and the party hasn’t even properly started; Johnny and Jaehyun are still out getting the alcohol and snacks, and everyone else is rushing to make things looks presentable before Taeyong and Ten got home from dance practice. 

You make your way into Johnny’s room to drop your backpack (and to avoid Mark inevitably asking you for help moving the couch, your back didn’t need that). When you come back downstairs, Lucas has been roped into helping him, and Taeyong and Ten are toeing off their shoes in the entryway. It’s stupid, but you feel butterflies in your stomach as Ten pushes his hair back out of his eyes and looks up to grin at you. Taeyong does the same as they both pass by you to go upstairs and take showers, both of them sweaty and tired from their practice.

You watch Ten go up the stairs, nearly sighing at yourself for not saying anything like the lovesick fool you are, but Taeil doesn’t give you time to mope when he suddenly drags you into the kitchen to help him cook dinner, then set up snack bowls when Johnny and Jaehyun arrive.

“So, are you excited?” Johnny asks, nudging you with his elbow as you both dump bags of chips into bowls. You scoff and nudge him back.

“What, for you to get drunk and clingy? No thanks.” Johnny ruffles your hair, laughing, and you swat his hand away.

“Ten sometimes gets clingy when he’s drunk, too.”

“Shut up,” you whine, pushing him away.

“Hey, don’t be mean,” Johnny pouts. “It’s my birthday.” You roll your eyes but can’t help but smile.

“Yeah.” Johnny slings an arm around your shoulders and you lean into his side for a moment before nudging him to get back to work with you on the snack bowls.

All the boys (excepting Mark and Ten, who are a little too thick to catch on) know how you feel about Ten. You aren’t exactly good at being subtle, quick to blushing and easy to fluster. Normally, it isn’t so bad that they know, but it only gets worse when they got drunk and meddlesome. 

And, oh God, are they getting drunk tonight. 

Johnny in particular seems excited, and you imagine the liquid courage is just making him act on his unfailing optimism when he starts leading you towards the closet and shoving Jaehyun to go get Ten. When he pushes you in and you step on a board game, feeling the box break under your heel, you can only think they deserve it for all the trouble they’re putting you through. 

Just as you turn to try and push the door open, Ten is suddenly thrown in and the door promptly blocked by the coffee table (which you hear Taeyong getting annoyed about somewhere in the kitchen). 

The closet is dark and small, and Ten is so close you can smell his cologne. Your head is already spinning.  Ten stumbles towards you, slightly, leaving you pressed back into the jackets hanging behind you. The rattling of the clothing hangers is the only sound until Ten lets out a gentle laugh, his breath fanning across your cheek. 

“Hi,” he says, and you feel your heart skip a beat. 

“Hey.” You hear him laugh again, and he reaches out with one hand, slowly, until he finds your cheek. A shiver runs down your spine at his light touch, and you can’t seem to stay mad at the circumstances when Ten slowly tilts your chin up to kiss you. 

His lips are warm and soft, and he tastes a little like beer and a little like the frosting from Johnny’s cheap birthday cake, and he’s a good kisser. He’s gentler than you expected, almost hesitant until you reciprocate in earnest, drawing yourself closer to him despite how warm you already feel from your racing heart. His hands move away from your face to wind around your waist, roaming along your spine and causing you to shudder again as you wrap your arms around his neck. He smiles against your lips at your reaction, and you’re just a little too light-headed to be embarrassed. 

Ten’s hair is soft where you run your fringed through it, and he suddenly draws you even closer, so that you can feel his abdomen pressed against your own, the way his heart is beating fast like yours. You never would have imagined things going like this, and suddenly you can’t even remember what being mad at Johnny — at anyone — feels like. 

Ten breaks away and presses his forehead to yours, eyes closed. You can barely make out his face in the darkness. 

“I really like you,” he says, and you feel your heart soar. You take a deep breath, worried that your voice is going to tremble,

“Hana.”

Your stomach drops. 

Ten leans forward and kisses the corner of your lips, along your cheek, trailing towards your neck. You start to press against his shoulders to push him back, but the door is suddenly flung open. Ten hisses something under his breath and covers his eyes against the light, but you turn to meet Johnny and Lucas’s apologetic gazes as they hold the closet door and coffee table respectively. 

Ten moves his hand away and blinks at you, but you rush past Johnny and Lucas with a tight-lipped smile before anyone can say anything. 

You hear Johnny call your name, and think you hear Ten asking if that was you, but you continue to head straight upstairs. When you get to Johnny’s room and flop face down amongst all his plushies, still riding too much of your emotional high to cry. 

You tug one against your chest, curl around it, and text your best friend to come get you. 

While the logical part of you knows that it wasn’t anyone’s intention for your heart to get broken, the part of you that’s still hurt is quick to text your coworker Vernon on Friday afternoon to see if he’s willing to pick up your night shift. It’s childish, and you’re willing to admit that the sight of relief you breathe when he agrees to take it for the night, but you’re hurting and you’re sure that if you see Johnny and his sad, puppy-dog eyes you’ll either burst into tears or throw your water bottle at him.

The only one you haven’t convinced yourself to entirely avoid is Taeyong, if only because his presence is calming in a maternal sort of way. And he doesn’t ask you big questions, or beg you for forgiveness — instead he just asks if you’ve eaten and orders a pizza to be sent to your dorm when you reply that you haven’t. You know he feels guilty, like all the boys do, even though he didn’t have a hand in it, and it simultaneously makes you feel better and worse.

You bury your feelings with a large pizza meant only for yourself (your roommate having gone home for the weekend), and a marathon of your favorite show. And still, somehow, your heart just hurts.

Monday morning rolls around, bringing with it a dark gray sky that threatens rain but never delivers on its promise. It makes it even harder for you to leave your bed, but gives you a good excuse to wear baggy clothes you can hide yourself in and not to bother too much with your hair. (The fact that you would have done things the same way despite the weather no longer matters, but you’re grateful to Mother Nature for letting you indulge in your pity party a little longer.)

Your Monday morning class happens to be one that you share with Ten, and as you near the building you slow your steps and check your phone. There are still almost twenty minutes until your class starts, and you aren’t sure you want to be sitting alone if Ten shows up early.

You make a sharp left and head for the cafe on campus to grab yourself a coffee and muffin, for no reason other than to kill time. As a result, you get to class only five minutes early, and quickly dart into the seat beside Wendy. She looks a little surprised to see you, but doesn’t say anything other than hello. You can feel Ten’s eyes on you the entire time you’re sitting in the lecture, and it makes you feel jittery. If you weren’t such a coward, you're sure you would have up and bolted from the lecture by now. As it is, you stay seated and then bolt from the room the moment the professor dismisses you, not even stopping to put things in your bag before you go. 

Is it foolish? Are you overdoing it? Maybe. But it’s hard to ignore the way your heart is pounding, the clamminess of your hands and the cold sweat you feel breaking out across your skin. You’re so caught up in just getting away, holding your notebook against your chest like a shield, that you don’t even realize Jaehyun is walking your way until you knock shoulders with him. 

“Y/N—” you try to keep walking, but Jaehyun takes a hold of your elbow. It doesn’t hurt you, it isn’t very firm at all, but you still feel the urge to cry out. You barely look up at him before your eyes start to gloss over with tears, and Jaeyhun’s brow furrows. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, softly, and you shake your head. Over his shoulder you can see Ten approaching, and your heart sinks. 

“Jaehyun, please, I have to go—”

“Are you okay?”

“No, I—”

“Y/N!” Ten calls, and attempts to pick up the pace through the swarm of students. Jaehyun looks from him to you hit as the tears start to fall from your eyes, and you feel pathetic as you stare up at him. 

“Jaehyun, please.”

Jaehyun’s mouth opens, then closes. You sniffle. He loosens his grip on your elbow, just slightly—

And you bolt. 

You should have expected that Johnny would learn about your encounter with Jaehyun, but receiving a text from him still makes you feel antsy. He apologizes again, and you curl into your pillows and drag your blanket up under your chin before typing out a simple, it’s okay. As sad as you felt then, you now just feel more embarrassed than anything else, and, in the end, that’s not really Johnny’s fault. Johnny isn’t the malicious type, and he probably just misunderstood Ten’s feelings — if he knew anything about them. 

It’s okay, you tell yourself, just like you told Johnny. I’m okay. You just hope that soon you’ll feel like that’s true. 

Never one to leave anything unresolved, even in the slightest, Johnny (and Jaehyun) comes by later with your favorite kind of pizza. When Johnny takes his backpack off in your dorm room, you’re surprised to find that it’s actually full of stuffed toys and not books, as well as an oversized hoodie bearing the word CHICAGO in bold red letters. He meets your raised eyebrow with a sheepish smile,

“You still seemed kinda down, so I brought you some of your favorites.” The three of you stand in an awkwardly silent triangle for a while, Johnny clutching plushies in his arms and both him and Jaehyun watching you as your gaze travels from the plushies in the bag to the ones Johnny is holding. He does, in fact, have your favorite giant Ryan plush in his hands.

You reach into the backpack and tug the sweatshirt on, then hold both of your arms out and are met with Johnny’s megawatt smile as he transfers the soft pile into your arms. Jaehyun gives you a gentle smile, shaking the pizza box in his hands a little.

“Movie time?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile as you nod, burying your chin in the pile of plush toys in your arms. You don’t feel great, but you certainly feel better.

The boys leave after two movies and an entire box of pizza, but Johnny refuses to take the stuffed toys back from you.

“Keep them as long as you want,” he says, and then, with a laugh, “We both know I have plenty.” You pull your favorite back against your chest and smile down at your sheets as he turns to go, feeling lighter than you have in days. You look up and find Johnny about to walk out your door. Biting down on your lip, you set the plushie down and stand up.

“Johnny?” He turns back, and he looks concerned. You wrap your arms around his middle, squeezing tightly. You feel tears pricking at your eyes, but you don’t feel sad as his arms wind around you, one hand gently smoothing down your hair. In a rare moment of softness with him, you press your forehead into the crook of his neck and let out a shaky breath; you’re grateful when he doesn’t question it, just squeezes you gently for a moment. 

“Thank you.” You feel his lips on the crown of your head, and his expression settles into one of his gentle, warm smiles as he pulls away.

“Anytime, Y/N,” he replies, and then slips out of the door to join Jaehyun.

You fall asleep holding onto your favorite of Johnny’s plushies, surrounded by the others.

You have a dream that night. Maybe it’s because you’re surrounded by warmth and Johnny’s scent, but thoughts of him follow you all through the night. At first, everything feels normal; you’re just sitting around with him on the couch in his living room, and nobody else is home. You’re watching some movie, but once you’re awake you just can’t remember for the life of you what it is. You suppose it doesn’t matter, since the key part of the dream is when he kisses you. 

And you kiss back.

And it just kind of… keeps happening, until you wake up.

You bury your face in the Ryan plush you still have in your arms and scrunch up your face in embarrassment. It would be a lie to say you didn’t think Johnny was attractive — in fact, before you basically fell in love with Ten at first sight, you’d been pretty head over heels for Johnny. Your friends all used to tell you to make a move, but then he’d ruffle your hair or play around with you like you were more of a little sister than a romantic interest, and you’d given up before you’d ever really done anything about your feelings. Johnny was a good friend and, cliche as it was, you weren’t about to risk that.

But as you think back on your dream, you can’t help but recall the evening preceding it, and other moments where Johnny had done heart-fluttering things without a second thought. Usually, you can chock it all up to Johnny just being a nice guy, because he is, but something about the way he had held you the night before feels… different. It’s belated, you know, but you’re realizing that your crush on Ten may have been blown a little out of proportion; in reality, it’s been little more than just a strange form of hero worship than anything concrete. You feel a chill descend in your stomach, suddenly. Had you just been using Ten to get over Johnny?

Your phone buzzes, snapping you out of it, and you let out a groan as you roll over to retrieve it.

good morning, sunshine! how are you feeling? >

The sight of Johnny’s message makes you simultaneously giddy and afraid. You’d spent what felt like forever getting over Johnny and his stupid charisma, and now you suddenly found yourself thrown back into his orbit. The knots in your stomach continue to twist up — if you told Johnny how you felt, would he think he was a rebound? You put your phone face down on the sheets and furrow your brow. Would people judge you for realizing your feelings for Johnny this way? Would they see you as fickle? You suddenly feel guilty, all wrapped up in Johnny’s too-big sweatshirt and surrounded by his pillows and plushies. A small part of you suddenly wishes you’d never met Johnny, or Jaehyun, or Ten or any of those boys, though you immediately feel bad for thinking so. 

The thing is, you realize, as your phone buzzes again to remind you that you have a text waiting to be opened, you can’t really lie to Johnny about your feelings. If you just suddenly changed your demeanor he’d probably think you were upset at him again, which you really don’t want considering he seemed so miserable about it before. You sigh, realizing that you need to put an end to this Ten drama before you do anything else. You pick your phone back up and ignore the message from Johnny, opening your somewhat old conversation with Ten.

< hey, i think we need to talk.

Your stomach twists into uncomfortable knots as you wait for a reply, and you sink your teeth down into your bottom lip as you see those three tell-tale dots pop up on your screen. They appear and disappear for a good minute before a reply comes through.

I think so too. cafe at 2? > 

< perfect. see you then.

< thank you, Ten.

You have roughly three hours to get ready to meet Ten, and despite your revelations so far this morning, you still have butterflies. You drag yourself up out of bed and to the kitchen, Johnny’s message left ignored.

At about 1:45 you find yourself checking that you have everything you need on your person: keys, wallet, chapstick, and your phone at full battery. You take a look at yourself in the mirror and force yourself to take a deep breath, but your small motivational speech to yourself is interrupted by rapid knocks at your door. You wonder, not without a certain spark of nerves, if Ten has decided to come walk you to the coffeeshop.

“Hey, I—” Your thoughts are brought to a halt when you see Johnny standing in your hallway and not Ten, looking rather rumpled and with his brows furrowed in concern. His eyes rake over you, finally settling on the makeup on your face.

“Johnny, what are you doing here?” You ask. He shifts his weight awkwardly, brows still knit together.

“Well, you never opened my texts, so I got a little worried. But, uh, you seem fine… so…” You feel yourself blushing slightly, and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, looking down.

“Sorry, I’m meeting up with Ten at two, and I guess it just slipped my mind.” 

“Oh. Nice. That’s… that’s good.” You can’t remember the last time you felt this embarrassed around Johnny, the last time the two of you stood in such awkward silence with each other.

“Did you… want your stuff back?” Johnny shakes his head almost too quickly, giving you a smile that seems awkward on his face.

“Nah, it’s fine, I didn’t bring a bag anyways.”

“Okay, well,” you start, meeting Johnny’s eyes again finally. “I guess I should get going so I can meet Ten.” 

“Right.” Johnny doesn’t move, however, looking as though he’s thinking intently of something as he watches you fish your keys out of your bag to lock your door. 

“Johnny?” You ask, trying to get past him out of your place. He looks up, gaze determined, and you freeze.

“I don’t think you should meet with Ten,” he says, sternly. It’s your turn to look confused now, adjusting your bag’s strap nervously.

“Why not?”

“I just— I don’t want you to get hurt again over someone who— who doesn’t seem to appreciate you.” He looks like he’s struggling with his words, not even looking at you, and yet you can’t help but be confused.

“I thought you all wanted me to fix things?”  You asked, and he shrugs uncertainly.

“I mean, yeah, but are you sure you’re ready? You were so upset yesterday…” You bite your lip, trying to decide just what to tell Johnny. No lie is going to get you out of this in time to actually go talk to Ten, so you opt for a half-truth instead,

“I’ll be fine, Johnny. I kind of realized this morning that my feelings for Ten were misplaced, so… Yeah. I just want all the awkwardness to be over. I’ll be okay.”

“Misplaced?” He asks, and you curse yourself for your big mouth and inability to properly lie to Johnny — or anyone, really — as you try to find a clean way out of this one.

“Yeah, I just don’t think they were really genuine feelings, you know? It was like… like an idol worship crush, if that makes sense.” Johnny blinks at you, still looking a little confused even as he softly says that he gets it.

“Anyways, I need to go, so—” Johnny hurriedly steps out of your way, apologizing and looking down at his feet. The only sound is your lock clicking and keys jingling together as you drop them into your bag. You start to say goodbye to Johnny, but suddenly you find yourself wrapped up in his arms, your cheek on his shoulder. You hurriedly try to pull away,

“Johnny, I’m gonna get makeup on your clothes—”

“I don’t care,” he mumbles. “I just need to tell you something, and if I don’t do it now then I won’t ever. But I can’t say it to your face, so just be patient, okay?” You nod slightly, relaxing back into his embrace. He lets out a long breath before speaking,

“The real reason I don’t want you to go see Ten is because I like you, and I don’t want you to see him again and get sad all over again. I was really worried this past week and I just want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me, but I don’t think you can be happy with Ten.” Your brows draw together.

“Then why did you tell me to go after him?” You ask, attempting to look up into his face. You’re only able to see enough to show that his cheeks and ears have turned red.

“I wanted you to be happy,” he says, softly, as if he’s embarrassed. “And I didn’t think you would ever like me back.” It feels in poor taste, but you really can’t help but laugh, the sound muffled against Johnny’s shoulder. 

“We’re both idiots, Johnny,” you sigh, and he chuckles but doesn’t disagree,

“Why’s that?” 

“Because I realized this morning that I like you. I’ve liked you since we met, I just didn’t think you would ever like me.” Johnny pulls away from you just to show you his appalled expression.

“I made it so obvious though!” He cries indignantly, and you lightly swat at his chest.

“Shut up! I thought it was just you being nice.” You refuse to look up at him, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. Johnny laughs warmly, taking your hands in his, leaning in close to your ear. You feel heat rising up your neck—

“Does this mean I can have you as a guest star on Night Night and flex on everyone about having a cute girlfriend?” Johnny only laughs when you sigh exaggeratedly, pushing away from his chest and rolling your eyes. 

“We’ll talk about it later,” you say, and his expression falls into a pout — you press your index finger to his lips (which are surprisingly soft, and something you can’t help but dwell on now. Yikes) before he can start complaining. “First, I need to go sort things out with Ten so I don’t make the frat awkward anymore. Okay?”

“Promise?” He asks, the second you move your finger. You hate that his puppy dog eyes make you melt so much, and you can’t help but fall into a fit of giggles, extending your pinkie out to him.

“Promise.” He hooks it with his own and smiles, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your forehead before turning and scampering off. 

“I’ll text you!” He yells before turning the corner, and you only nod, smiling. 

Ten is extremely apologetic when you arrive at the coffee shop, and it takes over twenty minutes (and you spilling about Johnny) for you to finally convince him everything is fine. 

“Does this mean we can be seat buddies again?” He asks, as you’re both getting up to leave, and you can’t help but laugh. You reach over and pat his shoulder.

“Sure thing, Ten.”

And by the start of the next week, everything is back to normal — better than normal, actually, because you’re now officially Johnny’s girlfriend and you’re no longer freaking out over sitting beside Ten in class — and you couldn’t be happier.

[svedone-writes]

it was always you | t.h. | year one, part one

pictures from the esquire china shoot and the man about town shoot, others are stock/public domain, moodboard created by me!

series masterlist

series summary: tom holland is your boy next door–well, technically, he’s the boy across the hall, but that’s not important. what isimportant is that you’re now in college, the perfect time to branch out and try something new. tom is the perfect way to do that: he’s attractive, funny, kind, caring–and unfortunately, not into you…or so you think.

chapter summary:  you arrive at college and quickly become friends with your boy-across-the-hall (gee, that’s a mouthful) tom holland. he’s apparently not into you, though, which makes your drunken confession even more awkward.

warnings: mature language, underage drinking

word count: 9.1k

author’s note: my first series! i’m very excited to share this with you all. a few notes: in this, tom has experience acting/dancing (he mentions he was in billy elliot) but has not made it big. the reader is female--i tried making the reader as gender neutral as possible, but later on in the series there will be smut and i only know how to write that from a female perspective. also, ____ pretty much means y/n, i just prefer to use that instead. anyway, enjoy!

your stomach was a bundle of nerves and excitement. it was your first day of college—the beginning of the rest of your life, or at least that’s what everyone said. you’d take classes, figure out your place in the world, and be on your own for the first time.

yeah, okay, that might be a little too romanticized. and technically it wasn’t your first day of classes (those didn’t start until tomorrow). but! you were moving in, and that felt like enough of a beginning for you. you were pulling a cart full of your belongings, gripping your new room key tight in your hand and carefully reading the numbers on all of the doors to find your dorm. there were a lot of other students here on your floor already, and you passed a few rooms with doors already open and briefly got glances of students and their parents unpacking luggage and setting up futons. unfortunately, your family couldn’t make it to help you move in, but you found that you didn’t mind much. you didn’t have much to move in, anyway, since your roommate graciously offered to bring a lot of the bigger items (like your fridge and futon) as long as you stocked up on snacks and drinks for a while.

finally, you reached your room and found that it was already open. you nervously walked in, leaving your cart of belongings in the hall momentarily. “hello?” you asked into the seemingly empty dorm. your roommate zendaya—whom you had matched with in the university’s roommate matching process—had told you she was arriving before you. there was stuff half unpacked, and one of the beds was made, but you couldn’t see your roommate anywhere—until she popped her head out of your shared closet.

“hey! i was wondering when you would get here!” she smiled and stepped out of the closet to greet you. “do you need any help with your stuff? i know you said your family couldn’t come today.”

you gestured to the cart in the hallway. “nah, i’ve got it all. thank you, though! it’s so good to finally meet you in person, by the way.” zendaya smiled a little brighter at that and continued to hang her clothes up. “i mean, i don’t want to sound weird or anything, but you’re somehow way prettier in person than in your pictures.”

she laughed. “thanks!” she already seemed like an incredibly easy-going and kind person, and that made you feel all the more relieved. you’d heard several roommate horror stories before, and you didn’t want to have any similar experiences.

you brought the cart into the room and started unpacking your things. it was a little overwhelming, to be honest, but you picked a bag and started there, slowly making your side of the room a little more homey. you were making your bed when you heard loud voices from across the hall.

“—i mean jeez, haz, you don’t need that many sneakers here! you’re taking up way too much space for all three of us to have our shoes.”

“well, it’s a little late for that now, huh? and anyway, you don’t see me complaining about your stuff.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean your ratty ass spider-man bed sheets.”

“fuck off, you know i’ve had those since i was 7.”

“are you hearing yourself talk right now, mate?”

you and zendaya burst out laughing, unable to hold it in any longer. you were both clutching each other to keep from falling over when the door across the hall opened and one of the boys poked his head out. “no, please, carry on,” you managed to get out in between laughs. he looked a little sheepish as he opened their door all the way.

“note to self, the rooms are not soundproof,” he said. he had striking blue eyes and slightly ruffled blonde hair, with a smile that was almost blinding.

“what? what are they saying?” the other voice said. another boy came to the door and took your breath away a bit. you couldn’t even pinpoint just one thing about him that made him attractive: maybe it was the strong jawline, or his biceps (i mean come on, what kind of college freshman has arms like that) or maybe it was the way he looked at you, full of kindness and warmth and laughter, like you had already known each other for years. “oh, hi, i’m tom. this is harrison.” the first boy—harrison, you tried to commit to memory—gave a little wave.

“i’m zendaya, and this is my roommate ____.”

you smiled brightly, happy that you were already making friends on your first day here. “it’s really nice to meet you guys.”

“you as well,” harrison replied. “we better get back to it. let us know if you’d like to laugh at tom’s sheets some more.” he turned and went back into their room. tom followed, protesting and cursing in the same breath.

once their door closed, you turned to zendaya and let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. she cracked a smile. “they’re kind of hot.”

“kind of? they’re almost unreal,” you whispered, now wary of how much sound your dorm walls didn’t block out. “and there’s two of them.”

zendaya shrugged a bit and went back to organizing her dresser, still smiling. “one for you, one for me, huh?” you laughed at that and continued organizing your things as well. “nah, that’s not for me.” she continued.

“what?”

“just…dating. we’re so young, and i don’t think commitment works out very well at this age. besides, i want to focus on school.” it almost sounded like she’d been burned before by a relationship, but you could also tell she didn’t really want to talk about it.

instead of questioning her further, you simply said, “that’s fair.” the room stayed silent after that until you both were finally finished putting away all of your things. you both stood back by the door, surveying your hard work. your side was a little…eclectic, but zendaya’s half of the room was sleek and well put together. “wow, you have much better style than me.”

“hm, maybe i’ll have to be your personal stylist this year.” you both laughed. “c’mon, let’s go get something to eat, i’m starving.”

the next morning, you were leaving to go to your first class of the day. as you locked the door—zendaya was already gone, having left for an earlier class about an hour ago—the door across the hall opened, and tom stepped out.

“hey! ____, right?” he greeted.

“yeah! and you’re tom,” you pretended to confirm, like you hadn’t thought of him for an unhealthy amount of time last night.

he grinned. “that’s me, thanks for remembering. you headed to class?”

“yeah, calculus, you?”

“no way, me too! is it with professor lang?” you nodded as he joined you in walking toward the exit. “god, i’m not excited. i’m absolute shit at maths, but i have to take it as a gen-ed.”

you wouldn’t exactly describe yourself as a genius with math, but you had done well enough throughout high school. “hm, well, looks like i’ll have to help you study then, if you want.”

he seemed to smile even wider at that. “that would be great.”

as you walked together to your first college lecture, you both told each other about your respective majors and what you hoped to do with them before transitioning to small talk about your lives. tom was in the middle of telling you a story about his younger brothers when you finally reached the lecture hall. it wasn’t as big as you were expecting it to be; it was definitely larger than any high school classroom you’d been in, but you had been imagining a huge auditorium with hundreds of other students in it. instead, your calculus lecture couldn’t have been more than 50 or 60 students.

you moved to sit in one of the front rows, but tom lightly grabbed your arm and nodded toward the back. “d’you think we could sit back there instead?” you chewed your lip nervously before nodding and following him to one of the last rows. someone had told you that it was best to sit in the front few rows during lectures…but you supposed it wouldn’t hurt to sit in the back for one of your classes.

when you did finally sit, tom looked at you gratefully. “thanks, i just don’t want the professor to call on me or something and embarrass myself in front of the whole class. it’s one of my biggest fears.”

“what, embarrassing yourself?” you asked as you took your notebook out of your bag.

“not exactly. i do theater, and one of my biggest fears is being on stage in front of a lot of people and then forgetting all of my lines.” he looked a little embarrassed as he grabbed his own notebook.

you, however, were incredibly intrigued. “that’s really cool. did you do school plays and stuff?”

tom seemed to get even more flustered. “um, kind of? i was in billy elliot when i was 12. i was one of the billy’s.”

your eyes widened in surprise, and a million other questions filled your mind—but then your professor walked in and started class. in high school, the first day was usually just going over the syllabus and chatting about the summer. turns out, in college, it’s not like that at all. your professor introduced herself and briefly went over the structure of the class—

(“there will be two exams in the semester, not including your final. you will also have quizzes every monday over the previous week’s material,” your professor had said. at this, tom looked over at you with wide, panic-stricken eyes, to which you responded by mouthing i’ll help you study. the relief and gratitude in his eyes made your stomach twist almost painfully).

—which only took 10 minutes. the rest of the class was spent going over the entire first chapter of your behemoth of a textbook. most of it was review, thankfully, but tom looked like he was going to break a finger from how furiously he was taking notes. when class finally let out, he turned to you. “this class might actually be the death of me.”

you laughed as you packed up your bag. “you’ll be fine. we can review sunday nights before the quizzes, if you want.”

‘”i’ll probably need more help than that. i require very individualized attention,” he replied with a cheeky smile and a wink.

in that moment, a girl tapped on his shoulder, holding his pencil that must’ve rolled onto the ground. “i think you dropped this.”

tom took the pencil from her and smiled brightly. “thanks, love.”

the girl smiled too, her face much redder than it had been before, before turning and hurrying away. tom turned back to you, still smiling. “you ready to head back?” you were quickly learning your least favorite thing about tom: you genuinely couldn’t tell when he was flirting or just being nice.

“i actually have another class i’ve got to get to, but i’ll see you later?”

he nodded, his shoulders a little lower than before. he almost seemed disappointed that you were parting ways. “i’ll see you later, then.”

the rest of your classes went well, albeit much more boring than the class you shared with tom. by the time you got back to your dorm, you were dead tired, but you still had a few introductory assignments that you wanted to get started with.

zendaya was back as well. when you walked in, she was sitting at her desk, hunched over her laptop. she leaned back at your arrival, though, and smiled. “hey roomie.”

you scrunched your nose as you set your bag down. “ew. please don’t ever call me that again.”

she laughed. “got it. how were your classes?”

“pretty good,” you shrugged, “how were yours?”

zendaya stood, stretched, and then walked over to your shared mini fridge (which you had stocked as requested). “really good, actually. i’m really excited for my journalism class.” she grabbed herself a drink and tossed you one as well.

“that’s really good, z,” you said in between gulps. “i wish i was in at least one class for my major and not stuck taking all of these gen-eds.”

“but then you might not be in a class with tom.”

you choked on your drink at that. “how did you know?”

“i could see it on your face. nah, harrison told me. we happened to be getting lunch at the same time, and he said that tom had mentioned it.”

“did he say what exactly tom said about me?” you questioned, trying (and failing) to sound nonchalant and unbothered.

zendaya didn’t seem to be fooled. “nope. he did say that you offered to help him study for calc.” you looked a little sheepish at that. “just…be careful, okay? i don’t really know tom that well, but…he seems like a bit of a heartbreaker.”

you weren’t sure if you agreed with her assessment of tom, but you nodded anyway. “i promise i’ll be careful.” she smiled and went back to her work, leaving you to do your own and mull over her words.

the rest of the week happened without incident; while your classes didn’t have anything to do with your major, none of them were that unbearable. your worst class would’ve been calc, but thankfully, you had tom to keep you entertained. he was growing on you incredibly quickly to the point that calculus was your new favorite class.

tom had noticed that, too. “why are you always so excited to go to calc?” he asked as you bounded toward him in the hallway of your dorm. you were headed to your friday lecture, and you almost couldn’t believe you’d already made it through your first week of college.

you shrugged. “maybe i just like math.”

“i doubt that, but whatever, keep your secrets,” he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “hey, uh, can i ask you something? like, for advice?”

“sure, what’s up?”

“well, there’s this girl in one of my classes…i really like her, but i don’t know how to tell her without being a total div.”

you hummed in response, your heart racing. you figured it probably wasn’t you. he obviously had classes outside of the one he shared with you, and they all probably had pretty girls in them. but…you also figured that maybe you had the same chances that they had. “it’s okay if you act like a bit of an idiot. it’s kind of cute, and it shows that you’re really into them.”

“really?” he seemed surprised.

“yeah, guys that are too smooth seem like douches, like they’ve done it a thousand times before and couldn’t be bothered. you can be a little smooth, but being dorky and cheesy is also really attractive, too.”

tom nodded, seeming a lot more confident than before. “i’ll try to remember that then. hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” he asked in a flirty, over-the-top voice. you burst out laughing, and before long, he did too.

that sunday, during your very first study session in your floor’s lounge with tom, you asked him about it. “so, have you tried any of your horrible pick-up lines on mystery girl yet?”

he looked up from his notes and grinned. it was something he did a lot, and yet each smile never failed to make your chest tighten or your stomach do flips. “i did, actually.”

“ooh, how did it go?” despite your cheery tone, your heart had immediately dropped when he said that. a good friend would be happy for him, you reminded yourself, and you should be happy that you at least get to be his friend.

he crossed his arms nervously. “well, she thought it was funny, but i don’t know if she could tell that i wasn’t just having a laugh.”

“aw. well, on the bright side, being funny will probably make her like you even more.”

“more? i don’t even know if she likes me at all.”

you rolled your eyes. “come on, tom, you’re kind of the full package. you’re athletic, sweet, funny, and pretty cute.” tom looked at you a little surprised but incredibly pleased regardless, and you hurried to move the conversation on before he could question you about what you’d just said. “anyway, tell me more about your mystery girl.”

he put his chin on his hand thoughtfully. “well, she’s just…really great, i guess. she’s really nice and funny, and we get on really well, but…i just can’t tell if she’s into me, d’you know what i mean?” he searched your face, then, almost like he was trying to see what your reaction was. after a brief moment, he shook his head a little and turned back to his notes. “what about you? anyone you fancy at all?”

you chewed your lip nervously. you knew if you started rambling, it was possible that you would accidentally give away that you had a little—okay, massive—crush on him. play it safe. “nah, not really. i mean, it’s only been a week, so i haven’t had the time to get to know anyone yet.”

“i’d say we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well,” tom replied carefully. your eyes narrowed, trying to gauge what he meant by that, but he kept his gaze down toward his notes. “hey, could you help me with this problem?”

“sure, what number is it?”

“37.”

“oh, i just finished that one. here, you can look at how i did it.” you grabbed your notebook with the intention of sliding it over to him, but he instead slid behind you to look over your shoulder. he was extremely close, to the point that you could feel his warm breath on your ear. you stilled, then, painfully aware of your proximity to each other and the fact that your heart was beating erratically.

“i’m an idiot. the three is negative, not positive.” tom moved back to his previous position, and like that, the moment was over.

the next day, you and tom were sitting in your calculus lecture hall, glancing over your respective notes before the quiz. suddenly, a girl—the same girl that had given tom his pencil the first day and stared at him every lecture since—tapped on his shoulder. “hi, sorry, i was gone on friday, do you think i could borrow your notes?”

tom smiled and nodded. “of course.” he leafed through his papers before finding friday’s notes and handed them over. a ripple of jealousy went through you. he’s just sharing notes, not marrying the girl. get over yourself, you thought, but it hardly made you feel any better.

soon the professor was striding in and passing out the quizzes. the girl from earlier quickly returned his notes then, and tom stuffed them in his binder. the bottom corner was sticking out, though, which otherwise wouldn’t have caught your eye—except for the fact that the girl had written her number in bright purple ink and signed her name (emma, apparently) with a smiley face.

you took the quiz with your teeth clenched, and for the rest of the class you couldn’t think of anything else but how tom might react. would he be excited? maybe this was the mystery girl he had been talking about. even if it wasn’t, you couldn’t deny that she was pretty and seemed nice, so maybe he’d be excited regardless.

to your surprise, tom didn’t react much at all. “oh,” was all he said before showing you.

“are you going to text her?” you tried to say as nonchalantly as possible.

he looked at you with a curious glint in his eyes. “should i?”

“is she your mystery girl?”

“nope.”

your body finally relaxed at that. “then i don’t know, it’s up to you. you could, to make your mystery girl jealous, but that wouldn’t really be fair to this girl.”

tom looked at it for a little while longer, but before long, he ended up stuffing it in his backpack. “i probably won’t. i don’t want to lead her on or anything. but…you make a good point.”

you smiled. “i always do.”

your suggestion ended up being a horrible move for you. the next study session you had together, tom dropped the bomb. “so i texted that girl.”

“what girl?” you asked distractedly, in the middle of working through a math problem.

“the girl from calc who gave me her number.”

your pencil immediately stilled at that. “i thought you didn’t want to lead her on.”

“well...let’s just say i’m keeping my options open. emma’s really nice, actually. and i don’t think mystery girl is into me, unfortunately.”

you turned fully toward him, your calculus homework forgotten. “what makes you say that?”

tom shrugged like it didn’t really bother him, but you could tell that it did. “she said there’s no one she fancies yet, and that obviously means she doesn’t fancy me. who knows, though, maybe there’s still hope, but i might as well see what emma’s like.” there were several emotions racing through you at that. you were relieved that mystery girl hadn’t worked out, you were frustrated that he had already moved on to a different girl (other than you, that is), but most of all, you were angry with yourself that you couldn’t just be happy for him.

so you forced a smile and turned back to your work. “well, maybe it’s a good thing, then. maybe mystery girl really doesn’t like you, or you and mystery girl weren’t meant to be. maybe emma will be really good for you.”

“do you really think that?” tom quietly asked. you looked at him again and were surprised to see his utterly dejected expression. “i just…really like her.”

“you don’t have to give up hope, then,” you reassured him quickly. “mystery girl could just be nervous, or she didn’t want to give away that she liked you. i mean, it is a little too straightforward to ask if she likes anyone. who knows, maybe she’ll get jealous and realize she liked you all along. or maybe she doesn’t even know you like her! maybe she just thinks you’re being nice.” you’re rambling at this point, because despite the fact that tom was telling you all about the people he liked that weren’t you, you would do anything to make him smile—because he did the same for you.

tom nodded. “how do i make sure she knows, then?”

“well, just be into her, i guess. ask her about herself—not just, like, how her day is going, but about her life and stuff.”

“okay,” he hummed, already looking a bit happier. “hey, you know, i never got to ask you this, but what’s your biggest fear?”

“huh?” you were a little taken aback by the suddenly personal question.

“the first day of classes, you asked me mine, and i never asked you yours. you don’t have to answer if you don’t want, though.”

you closed your textbook, resigned to the fact that you probably wouldn’t get anymore work done that night. “gosh, probably…realizing at the end of my life that i never mattered. like, i never did anything important, or i never truly mattered to someone else.”

both of you were quiet at that, before tom said, “oh. mine seems a little stupid now.”

you cracked a wry smile. “fears are never stupid.”

“if it makes you feel any better, you matter to me. i mean, i know we’ve only been friends for a couple weeks, but you’ve made me feel the most welcome here. you’re like, my best friend after harrison. and i’ll always be here for you, you know that, right?” you met his gaze, and your breath caught in your throat. tom was looking at you earnestly, as if in that moment, you were about the only thing that mattered.

tom had an uncanny ability to make anyone feel important, and that had to be your favorite part of him, you realized in that moment. he was so kind and caring that he genuinely wanted every person he interacted with to feel wanted. he would truly be the death of you, if you weren’t careful enough. (and you weren’t being careful enough, you also realized in that moment, because it had only been two weeks and you already knew that tom could ask you to do anything and you’d say yes.)

“thank you, tom.” you finally replied. there was a sort of tension in the air now—you couldn’t exactly put your finger on it, but it was almost like the entire world was holding its breath.

he stood up and held his arms open. “come on.”

you smiled sheepishly and stood to accept the hug. it immediately felt like the safest thing you had ever experienced. tom rubbed slow circles into your back, and you let yourself bury your face into the crook of his neck. when you both finally stood apart, his hands came back to rest on your arms. you were clutching his shirt, entirely reluctant to go, and all pretense of hiding your attraction to him was out the window.

tom looked at you with eyebrows furrowed, the same way he looked at a calculus problem he couldn’t figure out how to solve. there was a glint of determination in his eyes, too, like he’d do whatever it took to solve the problem he was looking at. at some point, tom’s lips parted slightly, and you couldn’t help but to glance down before quickly looking back up, hoping he hadn’t noticed. when you did meet his eyes again, you immediately knew he had. but whatever he would’ve done about it was interrupted by his phone buzzing.

the spell that had fallen over the two of you was broken, and you jumped apart like you had both been caught doing something wrong. you hurriedly began to put your stuff away.

“sorry, just emma asking if she could sit with us during lecture. is that cool?”

“yeah,” you answered, a little harsher than you intended, “totally cool.”

it was not, in fact, totally cool. during your shared lectures from then on, tom barely paid you any mind, only turning to you to ask for clarification on whatever your professor was talking about. sure, you still walked together in the morning, and during that time it was like nothing had changed. but during and after class, his attention was solely on emma. he was hardly around outside of class, as well, and sometimes missed your study sessions during the week (but never your sunday sessions—you held onto those desperately, because they were the only times you could pretend tom only wanted to be with you). it hurt, deeply, not just because you had feelings for him, but because of all the things he said that night no longer felt true.

however, you couldn’t deny that despite his lessened presence, you were still getting to know him more and more throughout the weeks that went on. you found out all about his childhood full of dancing and gymnastics—which explained his athletic physique—and about his love for acting. (“it’s the best feeling in the world, being on a stage or on set,” tom had said almost breathlessly, his eyes full of light, and you wanted to take a picture in that moment so you would never forget how truly happy he had looked.) in exchange, you told him about your life and your interests, and he paid each story such careful attention that if you tried hard enough, you could forget that you were now his second-best. tom would always be there to listen to your misfortunes, too, and always offered comfort at the end of your more negative stories—although nothing had happened like the night you told him your biggest fear. it all almost, almost made up for the time he was now gone.

in tom’s absence, though, you also got to know his roommates a lot better. you hadn’t found out until recently that he had a third roommate, jacob, who was incredibly witty but also very kind. you, zendaya, harrison, and jacob would get dinner together frequently, and before long, they all knew how hopelessly into tom you were.

“i mean, it just sucks,” you said one night at dinner. zendaya playfully rolled her eyes; she heard about your troubles all day, every day. “one night he’s telling me that i’m super important to him or whatever, and then the following week he barely talks to me except to ask for help in math. who does that?”

harrison chewed on his french fry thoughtfully before swallowing and answering. “he’s always been a bit like that. tom means well, but he’s just a bit clueless, i think.”

jacob nodded in agreement. “his heart is in the right place. tom’s a really good guy, but he can be an idiot sometimes.” he looked like there was more he wanted to say about the subject, but instead he took a bite of his food.

zendaya, meanwhile, merely shrugged. “i’ll kick his ass for you, if it makes you feel any better.” the whole table laughed, and soon the conversation moved on to the topic of all the upcoming exams you all had.

it was already almost the middle of the semester—you couldn’t believe how fast time flied in college—and midterms were rolling around for all of you. you and tom were having your standard sunday study session, but this time it was a lot quieter as you both pored over all the material that would be on your first exam for the class.

“would it be alright if emma joined us? she’s kind of freaking about the exam,” tom asked about an hour into studying.

you turned the page of your textbook, trying to look unbothered. “sure.”

“awesome, she’ll be here in a half hour.”

you simply nodded in response before sitting back and rubbing your eyes. “hey, do you want to order a pizza? i’m getting kind of hungry and—”

“i asked her to be my girlfriend,” tom blurted. you stopped talking, startled into silence at his sudden omission. “sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt, just…thought you ought to know.”

“oh.” you finally managed to say in response.

“oh? what does that mean?”

“nothing, i’m just surprised, i guess. did she say yes?”

“yeah.”

of course she did, why wouldn’t she? “i’m…really happy for you, tom,” you replied carefully.

“you are?”

“of course, you’re one of my best friends. why wouldn’t i be happy for you?”

tom didn’t have anything to say to that, instead turning back to his textbook. an awkward silence fell over the room until emma finally came through the door.

“thank you so much for letting me come study, i’m so nervous for this exam,” she said as she took her things out of her bag. tom gave her a quick kiss on the cheek (which, to you, felt like he was ripping your heart out—wow, get it together, way too melodramatic there, you thought to yourself, it’s been a month and a half, it’s not like you’re in love with him) and, strangely, immediately stole a glance at you, almost as if he wanted to see your reaction. you had quickly looked back at your book, though, so he missed the pained expression in your eyes. “oh! before i forget,” emma continued, “there’s a party one of my friends is throwing this weekend to celebrate being halfway through the semester, you guys should come!”

“i’d love to,” tom responded. he turned to you. “what about you, ____?”

you were about to say no before you stopped yourself. you know what? let’s do this. “absolutely, it’ll be fun,” you answered with a blinding smile. “you know, i’m really tired, and i doubt i’ll remember anything else i study. i can leave my notes for you two to look at, though.”

“that would be so nice, thank you!” emma looked incredibly grateful, while tom looked seriously confused. he was staring at you like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs. you paid him no mind, though, and went back to your room, your shoulders square with determination.

“i need your help,” you said once you got back to your dorm.

zendaya leaned back in her desk chair and turned to look at you. “with what?”

“i’m going to a party this weekend and i need to look hot.”

“this isn’t about tom, is it?” she immediately asked. you smiled guiltily, but all she did was shake her head and stand up. “well, i’m going home this weekend, but i can pick an something out for you now.”

you both began to sort through your clothes. after an hour or so, she had finally assembled an outfit, and you stood in front of your mirror full of gratitude. “damn. thank you, z, this really means a lot.”

“no problem. just…be safe, okay?”

“i will, i promise.” you were 0 for 1 with your promises to zendaya, but you figured this one would be a little bit easier to keep.

the rest of the week was simultaneously a blur and the longest week of your life. your calc exam came and went—

(“____!” tom had yelled from across the hall. you both came out of your rooms at the same time, and he swept you into a bone-crushing hug, lifting you up and spinning you around. you assumed he had gotten his exam score back—your professor promised that scores would be in by the end of the week, assuring everyone that the ta’s would be hard at work to meet that deadline. “i got a b! i did it!”

“i’m so proud of you, tom,” you responded softly, letting yourself be carried around. you truly were proud of him. despite everything, you couldn’t help but be happy for him and proud of him, because he was tom, your boy-across-the-hall, one of the few people that made you feel like you mattered, even when he inevitably left you behind. you’d be damned if you didn’t try to make him feel the same.)

—and before long it was finally the end of the week. you found that you were actually excited for the party, not just because of tom, but because it felt like you were finally going to have the chance to let go and enjoy the fact that you were now a college student, even if it was already halfway through your first semester.

you were just finishing up your makeup for the party when tom knocked on the door. “____? you ready?”

“just a sec!” you called back, giving yourself a once-over in the mirror before opening the door. “sorry, just finishing my makeup.” he was looking down at his phone and tapping out a response to someone—probably emma, if you had to guess.

“no worries, i—” tom finally looked up from his phone. “oh, wow. you, uh, your outfit is really nice.”

you smiled. “thank you, tom. where’s emma?”

he glanced back down at his phone. “she’s waiting in the lobby.” you both headed down, then, and you almost felt like you were glowing from tom’s flustered response.

when you got done to the lobby, emma greeted you both with an enthusiastic grin. “____, you look amazing!” tom walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek as he wound his arm around emma’s waist. “hi, tommy,” she giggled. your stomach lurched, but you shook your head a little and maintained your confidence.

you were quiet on the walk over to emma’s friend’s place, only speaking when directly asked something; you were trying to save your energy for the night ahead. when you finally reached the party, a bundle of nerves and excitement had built inside your stomach. “i’ll catch you later,” you quickly said to the both of them before diving into the crowd to find a drink.

the living room of the house had been turned into a makeshift dancefloor—music played loudly and the center of the room was packed with bodies. most of them were girls dancing with their friends, laughing and taking pictures together, but some pairs of people were dancing a little more sensually (if it could be called that; some were so drunk that they were just sort of moving side to side wildly). it took you a few minutes of navigating through the mass of sweaty, drunk college students, but you finally managed to find the drink table, which was being watched over by a bored-looking—but definitely attractive—boy.

there was an array of bottles laid out, plus a bin full of pink, fruity liquid and stacks of solo cups of regular and shot-glass sizes. you stood back and examined all of them, unsure of where to start. shots might be good to get you buzzed quickly, but maybe it would be better to mix a drink and sip on it.

“having trouble deciding?” the boy watching the drinks asked.

your head snapped up and you smiled sheepishly. “um, yeah, just indecisive. don’t know if i should do a shot first or start with a mixed drink instead.”

he nodded. “well, stay away from the jungle juice,” he gestured to the bin of pink liquid, “i watched them mix it earlier and there’s a whole bottle of vodka in there and then some.”

“oh.” you moved a little closer to hear him better—the music had somehow managed to get louder.

“yeah, in general, avoid drinks that you haven’t mixed yourself, especially at parties like this. you never know what’s in them. obviously, i know what’s in this one, but just for the future.”

you were still straining to hear him until you finally resolved to moving to his side of the table. he raised an eyebrow at that, to which you defensively replied, “i couldn’t hear you! the music is so loud.”

he laughed. “i’m just messing with you. anyway, normally shots are more fun with other people—”

“then i’ll just have a mixed drink then. thanks for the help!”

you moved to make a drink, but he stopped you with his hand. “woah, you didn’t let me finish. who said you’re alone?”

“isn’t it a little irresponsible to take a shot of the drinks you’re supposed to be watching over?” you quipped.

he gave you an overexaggerated smolder. “i like to live life on the edge.” you laughed at that, and he looked a little pleased with himself. “think of it this way: i’m quality checking.”

“oh, well when you put it that way, you’re just doing your job. i can’t fault you for that. in fact, i’d be preventing you from doing your job if i said no.” you cheekily responded. you were surprised at how easy it was to banter with this boy you had just met only five minutes ago. your mind flashed to tom, briefly, before you pushed him out of your mind. he has a girlfriend now. you deserved to enjoy yourself.

“see? somebody gets it!” he grabbed two of the disposable shot glasses and then motioned to the various bottles. “pick your poison.”

your gaze went down the row of drinks before landing on a bottle of blue liquid. “that one,” you pointed.

he chuckled and grabbed it, pouring out the shots. “ah, uv blue. the classic college girl drink. by the way, what’s your name? it’s vital shot-taking information.”

“____, yours?”

“henry. it’s nice to meet you. you ready?”

you nodded and went to immediately knock the drink back. “woah!” henry stopped you before you could. “there’s a little more finesse to it than that.” he grabbed his shot. “okay, so you’ll start with it at the table. then, you’ll bring it up to clink it with mine, then you’ll bring it down to the table again, and finally you’ll bring it up and take it. down, up, down, up. got it?”

“i think so.”

“we’ll do it slow. okay, down,” you both held your drinks at the table, “up,” the plastic glasses clinked together, “down again,” you brought it back down to the table, trying not to spill, “and up again.” you finally brought the drink to your lips and quickly swallowed it.

you shuddered only slightly, surprised at how okay it had ended up tasting. “hey, that wasn’t that bad!”

“yeah, you say that now, but give it until the end of the year. you won’t be able to stand it by then.” henry was throwing away your cups and putting the bottle back while you scanned the crowd. you found tom after only a few moments. he was standing with emma, looking a little bored as she talked animatedly with a few other girls. “is that your boyfriend?” henry asked, making you jump a little.

“no, he’s just…he lives across the hall from me. i’ve liked him a lot since the beginning of the year, but he has a girlfriend now, so…” you finally turned back to look at him. “sorry, you probably didn’t want to know that.”

henry shrugged. “nah, it’s fine. i get it, i’ve been through something like that before. it sucks, but you just have to move on, otherwise you’ll always be stuck on that same person.” he glanced over to where tom was standing before looking back at you. “don’t look, but he’s watching us right now. i think he might be coming over.”

it took all of your willpower not to glance over again, but you stayed facing henry. “what do i do?”

he searched your face. “well, what are you comfortable with?”

you looked at him in confusion before it finally dawned on you. “oh. um…” you were already feeling a bit buzzed from the shot, and you almost wanted to ask him to kiss you—almost. you weren’t quite confident enough for that. (and maybe, just maybe, you didn’t quite want to kiss someone other than tom, but you’d never admit it, even to yourself.) “i don’t know, nothing too serious.”

after a few seconds of thought, henry smiled and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear before resting his hand on your shoulder. “now laugh,” he instructed, and you did as you were told, putting all your effort into making it seem genuine. “okay, now look at him while still smiling.”

you did, and your heart dropped despite the smile on your face. tom’s eyebrows were furrowed, and even though he was across the room, you could see the hurt in his eyes, which ultimately accused you. he’s probably mad that you abandoned him to take a shot and flirt with a random stranger, you decided as you looked back to henry. “thank you,” you finally said.

“no problem. wanna do another shot?” you eagerly accepted his offer. this time, you went through the motions a lot quicker and didn’t even shudder after you had swallowed. “see? you’re almost a professional now.”

you were definitely feeling the alcohol now. the music seemed to be calling your name, and you moved along with it. “i think i’m gonna go dance,” you told henry. “feel free to come with.”

he gestured to the table. “sorry, can’t abandon my duty. i think someone’s supposed to come relieve me soon, though, so maybe i’ll come find you.”

“bring me a drink when you do?”

“i’ll think about it. now, go, enjoy yourself. don’t let him ruin your night.”

you walked away before you could even process what he had said. before long, you were in the middle of the crowd, dancing and swaying to the music. it felt a little awkward, being alone, but you were tipsy enough that it didn’t matter much to you. every once in a while, you’d feel a hand on your back or your hips, but if you moved away they would thankfully back off. even then, your mind briefly floated to tom, wondering what he was doing and if you should maybe go find him (just to check in, of course), but then you pictured him and emma dancing and decided you didn’t really need to see him.

about five or six songs had passed when someone tapped on your shoulder. you turned around, still swaying to the beat, and you saw henry holding two cups. “hey! you did come find me!” you yelled over the music. he handed you a drink. “oh, thank you, i was actually just about to go grab one. come dance with me!” you took a big drink before holding your cup up with one hand and resuming your dancing.

“yeah, i’m not that great at dancing. i think i’ll just watch.” you raised your eyebrows at that. “okay, yup, that sounded creepy, and totally not what i meant. you are a really great dancer though.”

your cheeks grew hot (but it could’ve been the alcohol, too), and you smiled. “thank you, henry.” you took another drink from your cup until it was empty.

“you might wanna slow down.”

“why? i’m having so much fun!”

“how fucked up are you planning on getting tonight?”

you were about to shrug and tell him you were probably done for the night when you saw tom and emma sitting on one of the couches. she was practically on top of him, laughing at something he must’ve said, and then they were kissing and it was all a bit too much for you.

turning back to henry, you narrowed your eyes and replied, “i’ll stop before i can get alcohol poisoning.”

his eyes widened. “i definitely can’t condone that, but…i suppose i’ll have to make sure you don’t die in the process. come on.”

two shots, a mixed drink, and a few songs later, you could barely stand without starting to fall one way or the other. “how’re you not even drunk yet?” you slurred at henry.

“this isn’t exactly my first rodeo.”

“so you’re an alcoholic then?”

“no!” he looked a little offended at your suggestion. “i’m just not a lightweight. i don’t do this regularly, i just know how to pace myself.”

“wait, what year are you?” you peered up at him. you really hadn’t noticed before just how tall he was. or how sharp his jawline was…

he met your gaze. “sophomore.”

“oh, that explains a lot. i’m a—”

“freshman. yeah, i figured.”

was it really that obvious? “well, i think one more shot should do it,” you moved toward the drinks and almost fell over.

henry gently grabbed you to keep you from falling to the ground. “nope, i think you’re done.”

you giggled. “thanks for saving me from the ground. my hero.”

“yeah, definitely done for the night. i can either walk you home or you can stay in my room.”

“woah, you live here? that’s so cool. i probably should’ve guessed that. i live in the dorms, but,” you looked up at him through your eyelashes, “staying here probably wouldn’t hurt.”

“i’ll take her home,” an icy voice cut in. you turned your head to see tom, and you instantly wondered how long he had been standing there for. “she’s sure as hell not staying here.”

“okay, whatever. here, ____, give me your phone real quick?” you did as asked and he quickly typed something before handing it back to you. “that’s my number. text me when you get back, okay? i’d feel bad if you died along the way and i didn’t know.”

you giggled again as you walked over to tom. “i will.” tom grabbed your shoulder to steady you with a vice-like grip. “ow, tom, you’re hurting me.”

henry smiled and shook his head. “in more ways then one, huh?” tom looked confused as he loosened his grip. “i’ll see you around, ____.” with that, henry turned around and walked away.

tom steered you toward the door before stopping. “i better tell emma we’re leaving.” he walked you over to wear she was sitting. “hey, em, i gotta take her back, she’s shit-faced.”

“i’m not—” you began to say until you felt like you might throw up. you quickly said, “okay, i might be,” before clamping your mouth shut.

emma looked at you with genuine concern. “oh, well make sure you drink lots of water, ___. you looked really good tonight, by the way,” she smiled before turning to tom, “text me when you get back, okay?” that was the worst thing about emma, you realized: she was really just a nice person. no matter how much you wanted to hate her and looked for reasons to do so, you weren’t justified in it because she was so kind and considerate.

“i will,” was all tom said before he walked you to the door. the walk at back to the dorms was at first quiet. tom held on to your shoulders as you stumbled along the sidewalk, and the only sounds were your footsteps and the occasional passing car.

finally, he broke the silence. “who was that guy you were with?” tom sounded much angrier than you expected.

“his name’s henry. he’s a sophomore, and he’s super nice! he was teaching me how to do shots and i think he lives in the house, he offered to let me stay in his—”

“so he got you drunk and then asked you to sleep in his room?” tom stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched and nostrils flared.

you frowned. “it wasn’t like that, tom, it really wasn’t. he was just being nice since i didn’t really know what i was doing.”

“it sounds to me like he was taking advantage of you. i mean, come on, an older guy teaching you how to drink alcohol and then offering his bed? you really are just oblivious, aren’t you,” he snapped.

the silence returned until you felt yourself tearing up. you tried to keep any tears from falling, but you were ultimately unsuccessful as you began to cry. “i’m sorry,” you hiccupped between sobs. “i don’t mean to be.”

“hey, hey,” he said softly, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “please don’t cry.” he gently wiped the tears from your cheeks. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. you’re drunk, and i don’t really know the guy.”

you nodded, sniffling, before wiping your eyes with your palms. “it’s okay. let’s just go back, i really need to throw up.”

tom laughed and moved his hands back to your shoulders. “let’s get going then.”

by the time you managed to get back to your room, you could barely hold back the urge to vomit, so the minute tom closed the door, you hunched over your trash can and emptied the contents of your stomach.

he came over after shutting the door and gently held your hair out of the way with one hand and rubbed comforting circles on your back with the other. when you were finished, you sat back and wiped the tears that had formed in the corners of your eyes. “sorry,” you croaked, “that was a little gross.”

“it’s fine.” tom smiled softly. “do you need some water?” you nodded, and he stood up and grabbed a water bottle from your fridge.

you gulped it down quickly once he gave it to you. “did you have fun, at least?”

tom shrugged as he sat down next to you. your head was still spinning a bit, and the feeling of his arm pressing into yours didn’t help much. “it was alright,” he admitted. “emma was just mainly talking to her friends, and you vanished once we got to the party. i didn’t really know anyone, so i just sort of…sat there.”

“sorry,” you replied guiltily. “i just thought you’d want some time to be with emma.”

he looked over at you. your room was still dark, and the only light in the room was the light from the hall that spilled through the crack under the door and the salt lamp zendaya had on her desk. the soft glow from the lamp illuminated the outline of his face as he spoke. “doesn’t mean i don’t want to be with you,” he murmured. “you’re still one of my best friends. no one could ever change that.” he gave you a hug, then, which was a little awkward as you were sitting side-by-side, but you didn’t mind. tom was a little sweaty, but underneath that you could smell his cologne and traces of his laundry detergent. it reminded you of home.

“i have to tell you something,” you whispered into the crook of his neck. you sat back to look him in the eyes. “i…look, i know i’m still pretty drunk right now, but please believe me when i say this because it’s true. i—i really like you, tom. like, like like you, if that makes any sense. and i know you’re in a relationship, and i’m so, so happy for you, but i just…” you trailed off before starting again. “i needed to tell you, i guess.”

a pained look flashed in tom’s eyes before he gave you a sad smile. “it’s just not the right time, is it?” what did that even mean? probably just trying to make you feel better, you thought to yourself, because this is super awkward.

“i guess not.”

the silence between you was almost palpable. “i better get going, then,” tom finally said. he went to get up, but stopped to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “goodnight, _____.”

you stood up with him, his arm gripping your elbow to steady you. “goodnight, tom.”

with that, he turned and left your room, leaving you to get ready for bed. you also quickly texted henry to let him know you had gotten back alright. he simply replied with a thumbs-up. by the time you laid down, you were crying once more and felt like you might throw up again—not because you were drunk, but because you might have just ruined one of the closest friendships you’d ever had.

what’s up with tom? is henry really a creep? what do you think? feedback is always greatly appreciated! replies, tags, asks, messenger pigeons--they’re all welcome!

[chaoticoconut]

BARBARA GORDON HEADCANONS THAT MAKE ME SWOON!!

(and so can you!! alfkvoekfndnej does anyone get that reference anyhoo)

I couldn't NOT post these idk I was showering and then I was hit with a mf tornado of hcs about my favorite gal and I figured I'd share :))))

Barbara and Tim are actually the most potty mouthed members of the batfam, excluding Kate. Jason is close, but only when he's upset (which probably seems trivial bc he's yk always upset but I hc him a pretty chill if not bitter and snarky guy). Tim cusses more when he's tired, but he consciously tries to bite his tongue. Barbara has no remorse and cusses very casually and openly, because she sees no point in abstaining. It releases endorphins guys. Duh. She uses those ridiculous "holy heck Batman!" lines as Batgirl unless she's genuinely thrown off her game. She limits her cussing a lot as Oracle bc she's not one to offend people, and you never know. It's most definitely a civilian thing for her, and anyone who knows Babs knows she's a fucking sailor.

Her favorite food of all time is pizza. Her dream house has a brick pizza oven. She has a food blog with every pizzeria in the greater Gotham area ranked from best to worst. Her favorite of all time is the Gotham Pizza Garden, which is located in Old Gotham near the police station. Technically it's the second best pizza in Gotham, second to Gargoyle Pie Company, which is renowned for being the epitome of Gotham-style pizza and is always busy. She has a lot of memories of GPG though, and loves both pies. GPG also has an incredible Chicago style pizza, which is her second favorite type of pizza. She does however believe Gotham style is superior and thinks less of Dick for disagreeing (@blanddcheadcanons tie-in heyo!!) Very few things make Babs as happy as gourmet pizza.

She grew up watching Teenage Mutant Turtles, Powerpuff Girls, and Star Trek. They all hold a very special place in her heart. There is totally a connection between her love of pizza and TMNT and turtles and mixed martial arts. She once got the boys to go as the turtles for Halloween, with her crushing it as April.

Speaking of turtles, she's had a pet turtle named after icon Nichelle Nichols since high school. Yes, she does call her Shelly. Yes it's cliche. No she does not care. She also has a calico cat named Cornflake that Dick gave her as a birthday present. She doesn't have pet dogs until she and Dick finally settle down. She never had them growing up because her father is allergic and her mother was a devout cat lady. She's not really sure why she never got any on her own, she's just more familiar with cats. After her mom passed away, she did get a bunch of bunnies whom she and JJ named after their favorite horror movie monsters and serial killers.

She loves slasher flicks. It's a family thing. JJ was creepy about it, Jim loves the thrill, Babs loves the mythos, and her mom was never really afraid of anything and found them funny.

She inherited her mother's love for baking. She left her her cookbook, which contains an amazing mixed berry pie recipe. Her pie baking abilities rival Alfred's. She even begins to branch out with her recipes and experiment with all sorts of fillings and even cake-pies (fanfic au tie-in heyo). Everybody loves a Barbara baked good. She knows everyone's faves and literally crushes holiday season. Dick is all about the og mixed berry pie, whereas Jay, who loves lemon everything (hc I saw awhile ago that I just love) prefers either a lemon meringue or a raspberry lemon. Tim is all about strawberry open face while Steph prefers cherry cheesecake or pecan pie. Cass and Bruce both love her cinnamon apple pie. Duke loves just about anything she bakes, but especially her more adventurous, contest winning pies like kiwi-blueberry-black cherry and other originals. Kate will die for Babs' cherry pie. Damian prefers blackberry or mixed like Dick. Alfred is a sweet potato pie kind of guy himself. There's a farmer's market in Blüdhaven her mother went with her to when she was a kid that Barbara still goes to get get all the fresh fruit.

Even better than Barbara or Alfred baking alone is them baking together. Roy Harper is also a pretty good baker. They all trade recipes with Martha Kent. M'gann brings wine to the manor and assembles them all for fun days of baking.

She's also totally the type of gal who made a shit ton of cupcakes when she ran for class prez and stayed I from Batgirl duties to finish them. Just saying.

She picks baking back up as Oracle but several hero emergencies lead her to burn perfectly good desserts.

She and Roy will always have puppy-love crushes on one another and be totally oblivious. They both did ballet as kids, love baking, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, shameless empty flirting, and tech. They're completely platonic and really great lifelong friends. They met at a Wayne gala as kids.

As if she wasn't already talented enough, she's completely ambidextrous. I'm jealous. Dick and Wally are left handed. Bruce is similarly ambi. Selina's a leftie. Maybe Alfred too.

She likes to enter contests and win for fun. She's a monster. Everything from baking to video games to weight lifting, she loves showing people up.

Dick, Babs, and Tim all snore atrociously loud. The batfam hates it. She's the quietest out of them all, but she's also a blanket hog. And a major cuddler.

Her favorite colors are grey and green. Purple does deserve an honorable mention however. Her apartment is a fair mix of green and grey decor and covered in books.

She was a total ballerina growing up, just like her mom wanted. That was until she discovered how kick ass martial arts were, and she got a little too jacked to continue with ballet as a formidable career option. Her next best option is becoming a cop at this point, but her father believes that not only would it be far too dangerous but a waste of her skills (like ballet cough cough). This upsets her so much she goes off and invents Batgirl, complete with a stole grappling gun from evidence.

In college she works as a barista and excels at it. Her dream is to open up a cafe/bakery/flower shop with Dinah some day. She wants to call her half Bean Me Up Scotty! (another hc I saw and fell in love with)

Babs is also a pretty good cook being that she became the family chef at a young age (Jim can barbeque and make spaghetti. That's literally it. Maybe some breakfast). Cooking lessons from Alfred certainly helped.

Her personality is so versatile. She can get along with pretty much anyone due to her wide range of interests and skills which is what makes Oracle so bad ass. She's also a Libra so she adapts fairly easily to any group without seeming fake.

She has a podcast where she rants about tech and feminism and politics and plays video games

She SO took Latin in high school and dominated competitions. She loves classical studies and is a dork for Greek and Roman mythology as well as linguistics. She has a pretty good grasp on all of the romance languages, and learns languages fairly quickly.

She always smells like mint and books. She has killer mint shampoo and conditioner, which is a Kean family thing (they just love the scent). She always smells refreshing.

She likes coffee but prefers tea always. She's like Ramona Flowers with tea

Her music taste is total 90s nostalgia (grunge, boybands, air pop, ska, hip hop) meets far too indie 4 u. Yes she's pretentious. Yes she loves chick rock and *NSYNC and Britney and Kurt Cobain and Biggie and deal with it. She also loves shit you've never even heard of. Was totally into the Gotham punk scene as a teen.

She collects vinyl and books and horror flicks ugh hipster queen

She loves spicy food and Dick cannot stand it. They both like sour candy though

If your Barbara Gordon didn't graduate high school at 16 she doesn't have rights

She was all of the Robin's first crush. Duh. Tim will always think she's the gold standard of women. He likes that she usually sticks up for him. He doesn't mind being seen as her male equivalent lmao

At some point Jay and Babs are roommates and it's literally the best I'll talk abt that later

Her type is guys with dark hair or blonde gals.

[loverjohnny]

TAKE ME HOME (Johnny Suh x OC x Qian Kun Fic)

TITLE: Take Me Home (Uni!AU)

GENRE: Fluff x Angst x Smut

PAIRING: Johnny x Chihye (OC) x Kun

WARNINGS: 

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

SUMMARY: Johnny and Chihye were high school sweethearts who fell apart after Chihye mysteriously moved away without telling anyone, not even the love of her life. Two years later, they cross paths once again. Are they still meant for each other? Or is Chihye better off with a fresh romance and a hopeful future with Kun?

A/N: I REALLY do not know if people are reading this or if it just has notes lol but I hope you are and I hope you’re enjoying it so far because I’m learning so much just by writing this story. <3 <3 Message me anytime! Enjoy.

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

“Excuse me, sorry,” Chihye whispered as she tiptoed into the room, “is this the ECON101 class?” 

Minutes before she entered, Chihye had a bit of a hard time navigating around the school on her first day of college. Although she had attended the campus tour weeks earlier, it was all a big maze to her and nonetheless had found it difficult to find her assigned class. 

“Uh yeah, it is,” he answered with a smile. 

The boy she had asked looked charming. Dressed in a simple white shirt with his hat hanging from the edge of his chair, he looked like your typical boy-next-door. His eyes also had a certain twinkle that made her insides go a little bit crazy. He’s actually pretty cute, she thought. Chihye quickly shrugged it off and dismissed herself thinking that her reaction was probably because of her missing breakfast that morning and nothing more than that. 

“Cool, alright. Is it okay if I sit here?” she asked the boy.

“Sure, go ahead.”

She took the spot next to the stranger and placed a few of her school materials on top of the wooden desk. Covered with stickers of bands and cartoon characters all over them, her new seatmate couldn’t help but notice the striking design Chihye had chosen for her binder. 

“Catfish and the Bottlemen, huh?” he whispered while reaching out to point at one of the small decals which was that of an alligator biting its tail.

Despite having a rough start that day, Chihye’s face lit up in excitement, “You know them?”

“Know them? I love them!! I’d say The Ride is by far their superior album for sure,” he chuckled.

“Dude, I know, right?! I just love 7 so much. Have you seen their performances live? They play even better in person!” Chihye responded in delight. 

There were many things in life that Chihye adored, but her ultimate passion was music. It was something that was so personal to her that she never really shared with anyone else. She was always picky with the people she shared her favorite songs to because she felt that singing the lyrics to them was like narrating an intimate part of her life. 

More than that, Chihye never really found people who listened to the same bands and artist as she did. But when she heard her new classmate rave on about her favorite album, she just wanted their conversation to last forever. 

“I haven’t seen them live, but maybe you can take me with you to the next one they have?” he said to her with a look that made her want to melt.  

It was either the fact that she may have potentially found her college best friend whom she could take to Saturday music shows or that he had the sweetest smile from his lips to his eyes, but her heart was beating so fast that she felt like she was going to explode. 

“Sure, I’d love to take you sometime,” Chihye replied. 

It all felt like a scene straight out of a movie for her, but the fantasyland she was living in was suddenly cut short when their professor for that subject had called their attention.

The professor’s loud voice blared from the front-most part of the hall, “Excuse me, you two in the back, I believe I was just explaining my house rules for this course. Now since it’s your first day, I’m going to let this pass. But dare me, if you babble in the middle of my discussion once again, then you are to fail for the rest of the term.”

“Sorry sir,” they answered in unison as they tried to keep their giggles in.

The boy then slipped a paper under her hand that had rested on her table. 

Unfolding the note, it said, I’m Kun, by the way.

She wrote her name and number on the back and passed it back to him. For the rest of the session, they continued to listen to their professor declare his regulations and restrictions as they shared occasional glances at each other and huge grins on their faces. 

The school bell rang and the day carried on for Chihye and Kun, only for them to find out that they had the same exact schedule for Mondays and Fridays of that semester. The duo was more than ecstatic to hear this as they realized they would also be able to watch gigs together as soon as the week ended. Though it was only their first day together, it seemed for Chihye and Kun that they would be inseparable for the rest of their days as their shared passion had instantly bonded them. 

“Hey Chihye, I was wonderi—“ Kun’s question was interrupted by the sound of Chihye’s ringtone. 

Chihye scrambled the contents of her bag looking for her phone and finally found it a few more rings later, “Sorry, hold on,” she said to Kun as she answered the call, “Hello?” 

“Chihye, it’s Jaehyun. Sorry no caller ID, I just got my new sim. Anyway, I’m here outside the main gate. Mom says we have visitors so we have to go home now for dinner.” 

Chihye let out a sigh, “Seriously? Right now? We still have like an hour or two left.”

“She said now. Come on, I’m waiting in the car, okay?”

“No but wait—“ Jaehyun had already ended the call before Chihye could even argue. 

Seeing that it was her first day in college and back in her hometown, all Chihye wanted to do was to spend the rest of the week on her own terms. She wanted to stop by all the cafes she used to frequent, visit the spots she would hang out at, and roam around the city she left two years ago. 

All of a sudden, the many plans she had made were cut short. 

“Kun, it was really nice to meet you and I want to hang out more soon though but I have to go,” said Chihye to Kun who was standing in front of her with his hands on his pockets, “we just have some family things going on tonight, apparently.”

“Wait, you live with your parents?” asked the curious Kun who was obviously eager to know more than just whether or not she still resided with her family. 

Chihye scratched her head and furrowed her eyebrows as she explained her situation.

“Technically, I don’t, since my twin brother and I have an apartment closer to the university. But then again, this is still my hometown and my parents still live nearby, so… plus, ever since we moved back, it’s been a little hard for them to settle in again which is why we still opted to live close to each other. ” 

Nodding at Chihye’s statement with his lips in a slight pout, Kun answered, “I see, I see. But it’s your hometown right? And I’m new here, and I know we still have a lot to talk about so…”

“So… that means I have a lot more to show you around here, Kun. And I will, I promise. But I really have to go. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yes, I’ll see you, Chihye. I gotta check the library anyway for extra readings but I can manage alone. It was enchanting to meet you,” Kun responded with a soft wink. 

She waved goodbye and had parted ways with Kun as he walked back to the university building.  Seconds later, her phone rang once again with her brother on the line asking her to hurry up. 

Annoyed yet confused at her the urgency of the matter, Chihye hurriedly headed for the gate he had asked her to meet him at. She tapped her ID to exit the campus and glanced around to look for her brother’s car. 

Upon seeing the black vehicle, Chihye had spotted Jaehyun through the open space of the car door. To her surprise, their childhood best friend Mark was also seated right beside him in the front. She had excitedly shouted his name as he continued waving at her from where he sat. 

As Chihye approached the automobile, the windows from the back carefully rolled down revealing a figure she didn’t expect to see at all so soon. In her eyes, it suddenly felt like everything started to slow down while the tinted glass gradually revealed whom it was. 

Those were the locks she would spend afternoons stroking her fingers through.  That was the forehead she kissed every time they said their goodbyes. Those were the bright brown eyes she often got lost in.  Those were the lips that first touched hers. 

He was the boy she left behind. 

He was the last thing she saw before she fell to the ground.