#thanks g for giving me a perfect moment to add at the end tonight

[dumbasssportsboys]

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[mypoisonedvine]

Closer | Bucky Barnes x reader

I wrote this for @mariessecretfantasies’ 500 follower challenge, took me forever but it’s done!!  congrats on 500 love, although I bet (and hope) you’re well past that now.

my ‘prompt’ was a song, specifically Closer by Nine Inch Nails… so it’s filthy.  purely filth, no plot.  don’t say I didn’t warn you.  special thanks to @evnscvll​ for the proofread!

warnings: SMUT of course, mild(?) dub con, d/s dynamics, oral sex (m receiving), vaginal sex, anal sex (and the prep is...not that good), ass-to-mouth (i’m literally blushing as I type this oml i’m so sorry), mentions of blood, slapping, spitting, degradation, semi-public sex, pain kink, and some other generally unhygienic behaviors…  this isn’t a dark fic per se but it’s got 0 fluff.  not even one ounce of fluff detected.  definitely no aftercare lmao.  ain’t nobody got time for that.

word count: a bit under 3k

He couldn’t drink anymore-- well, he could, but he couldn’t get drunk, so there was no use.  Couldn’t get high on any drug, either.  Pain didn’t affect him the way it did other people.  But everybody has their vice, their way of hurting themselves to feel something when they can’t feel anything else.  You were his, and he was yours.

You couldn’t even remember now how it started.  There was definitely alcohol involved, but past that you weren’t sure what had compelled you two to stumble into bed together.  Even at the time you had realized it was irresponsible and probably not worth the trouble, but it seemed inevitable in some weird way.

That was how it always felt, actually.  Like tonight, when he met your gaze from across the bar.  His eyes were so dark, demanding-- it made you shiver even though it only lasted for a moment before he looked away, pulled into conversation with Bruce.  But you knew what it meant.

Didn’t matter anyhow; it was a big party, the whole crew and nearly all of the Tower staff were crawling the halls.  There was no guarantee of privacy at a time like this.  

You were chatting with Wanda when you felt a hand slip around your arm, pulling you back into somebody’s form-- of course you knew it was him, you could tell by the roughness of his skin, the smell of him, the way he pressed against your back…

“Can I speak to you privately for a moment?” Bucky requested with poorly-suppressed irritation, his lips almost pressed against your ear.

“S-sure,” you stumbled over your response.  You got the sense that there wouldn’t be much speaking, but you couldn’t turn him down in front of these people without giving yourself away.

And that was how you ended up in a broom closet, pressed against the wall with his tongue dominating your mouth and his hands somehow feeling like they were touching you everywhere all at once.

“Buck, wait,” you managed to murmur against his mouth as his lips crashed into yours.

“Tired of waiting,” he growled in reply.  “Turn around.”

You didn’t even think to question it, just obeyed his command blindly as he slammed you into the wall and began pushing your dress up, pulling your underwear aside.

“Not here,” you groaned.

“Shut up,” he hissed.

The absolute second that his cock was free he was shoving it between your legs and fucking you with unmatched speed and ferocity.  It nearly burned, the way it forced you open, but it was exactly what you needed.  You arched your back to accept his length more easily, your head falling back in pleasure.  He responded by grabbing your hair and pulling it until your back arched even more.  

“Oh god, Bucky,” you whimpered.  In response, he slammed his hand over your mouth and fucked you even harder, as if it were punishment; he didn’t like when you said his name in times like this.  He didn’t want to think about who he was, or who you were, or what the two of you were doing.  He just wanted to feel you and nothing else.

Funny how a man who’d been unwillingly brainwashed actually craved the chance to forget.

His other hand moved from your hair and slipped down between your legs, roughly rubbing your clit as your hips bucked and thrashed in response.  He held you still through it, biting down on your neck hard enough to make you worry about the skin breaking.  But he knew by now that you liked the threat of pain, which is why he slipped his left hand down from your mouth to your neck.  The sound of your breath halting to silence was so perfect that he had to bite his lip to keep from moaning.

Already your vision was spotting into darkness, starting at the corner of your eyes and moving in.  As you lost your connection with the visual aspects of your reality, everything else became stronger, and it felt like you were somehow seeing better than ever.

He stopped thrusting and leaned closer to your ear.  “When I let go of your neck,” he explained quietly, his voice dark and rough, “get on the floor on your hands and knees.”  

He released his grip and your lungs sucked in air faster than they could handle, making you cough and sputter a little.  Still, you turned around to begin following his instructions.  You got a better look at him than you had before.  His eyes were so blown out that they were nearly black, watching you with hungry rage.  Or maybe it was raging hunger.  

You felt his gaze follow you as you stepped around him, bending down and getting on the floor.  It was cold and a little bit gritty, both of which made you shudder.  You became aware of the wetness which had leaked from your opening, smeared over your thighs and made an uncomfortable patch on the edge of your panties.  You didn’t have to worry about that much longer, though, as he kneeled behind you and ripped them off.  

“Buck, I need those--”

He slapped your ass, with the vibranium hand.  It was so hard that you perceived the sound before your body processed the pain.  As you lurched forward, your squeal of pain tore and cracked in your throat, so much that you could barely recognize it as yourself.   

One hand slid your dress up further, admiring the warmth and smoothness of your skin, two fingers running along your spine; the other guided his cock to your pussy again.

You weren’t quite ready, not exactly wet or warmed up enough for this angle.  You were sure this was the most your body could take, if not a little bit more.  The way he pushed into you-- ignoring the resistance of your inner walls, your skin breaking out into goosebumps, your arms and legs quivering-- put you entirely at his mercy.  Just as you were about to cry out in response to it all, he roughly shoved three fingers into your mouth: flesh, sweaty and dirty, tasting slightly of scotch and gun oil.  They pushed your cheeks out from the inside, stretched your chapped lips until they cracked and you tasted blood.  You swirled your tongue around them anyways, ignoring the way it caused drool to lewdly drip down his hand and your chin.  

He smiled, in a twisted way, as he looked down at you.  “You need it so bad, don’t you?”

You nodded feverishly, groaning around his fingers and letting your eyes flutter shut.  

He used the hand on your back to guide your movements, watching your body as it swallowed his length to the base.  He could tell you were struggling with his size, and he was almost impressed with your fortitude.  Unfortunately for you, it only made him want to push you further.

Pulling his fingers from your mouth, he grabbed your arms at your elbow and held them behind your back, using them to keep you upright as he slammed into you.  Each thrust made your knees scrape on the concrete, and your shoulders were twisted into an awkward position that made your muscles burn, but you didn’t care.  All it did was add tinder to the flame of pleasure.

Tears stung the back of your eyes.  You always cried when he fucked you like this, and he either didn’t care or didn’t notice; it was just so intense, you couldn’t stop yourself.  You would probably be bleeding when he was finally done with you, and you would definitely be sore (on the outside and inside) tomorrow.

“Gonna cry, bitch?  Can’t take it?” he hissed.  You always got wet when he talked like that.  Then again, you got wet whenever he talked at all.

Your voice came out hoarse and cracked when you spoke.  “Harder,” you barely managed to grit out through your teeth.  

Instead what he did was pull out and flip you over, slapping you straight across the face.  There was nowhere to hide from him now, with your legs spread and your clothes torn to shreds, so you didn’t even try to suppress the moan when he hit you.  He grunted and hit you again, spinning your face the other way.  You wanted to ask him to hit you again but he just shoved himself inside you again, putting his weight on your neck as he wrapped a hand around it.  You couldn’t moan but you could arch your back; he pushed down on your stomach until you couldn’t do that anymore either, and it forced your g-spot to push right into his cock.  You would’ve screamed if you could; it felt so fucking good, too good, too much all at once.

Who could say how long that went on for?  It didn’t feel subject to time or space, it all just felt like sensation-- sensation which washed over you until you didn’t know how to experience anything else.  So often our bodies feel like machines, slaves to routine.  A body which must rise in the morning, rest in the evening; a mind which must toil over the past and worry for the future.  Now, you didn’t even know your own name-- you didn’t even understand what a name was for.  Your only purpose now, and your only goal, was to feel.

That was what you craved about this: the chance to forget about everything else.

At some point you were pulled back into reality by the way he was manhandling you, tossing you back onto your knees and pulling your body flush with his by your hair.

“Beg me to let you come,” he growled, but you couldn’t even think long enough to put a sentence together, let alone actually get it out.  He bit down on your shoulder and you whimpered in pain.  

“P-please,” you sighed-- it came out so quiet that even you could barely hear it.  His teeth sunk in deeper; you tried to say it again but it was caught in your throat.

He pulled your head to the side by your hair, and slapped the half that was exposed.  “Beg me to let you come,” he repeated, slower, “you dumb fucking whore.”

“Please… please, let me come,” you mumbled.  

“Louder.”

You hesitated, about to remind him that the hallways outside probably had people passing through and someone might hear you, but your hesitation was rewarded only with more violence as he hit you again-- even harder than the last time.  You yelped and bit down on your lip.

You hadn’t realized how weak you were until he let go and you instantly fell to the floor, your hips held up by his hands but your face pressed against the cold cement.

“You can come,” he decided, almost flippantly, as he fucked into you deeper and harder.  It seemed like he knew your body better than you did: he made you come faster, for one, and he saw it coming sooner as well.  It was slightly embarrassing, but then again, you were on your knees in a broom closet so that was sort of beside the point.

It seemed to hit you all at once, and with no sign of stopping.  You reached up to claw at the wall but it did nothing to keep you stable as shocks reverberated through your body.  You were about to space out again when you felt the metal tip of his thumb press against your tighter rim.  

“W-wait,” you gasped, but he pressed in further and your words were lost to a whimper.

“Oh, you can’t play innocent with me, sweetheart.  I know you want me to fuck this little ass.  Go ahead, say it.”

“F-fuck my ass, please,” you begged.  It sounded shameless, but there was certainly shame (and fear) tingling in your gut.

The thumb pushed in all the way, and before you could deal with the way that felt, it was replaced with two fingers.  You hissed from the sting, but willed your body to relax as you fell back into that headspace and simply let everything happen to you.  

The transition from two to three fingers was barely noticeable.  But you definitely noticed when he pulled everything out of you, guiding the head of his cock higher up.  He moved your hips closer as you went limp in his grasp-- a drooling, mindless fuckdoll who, apparently, spread your legs for him whenever he wanted.  It was some undefinable mixture of demeaning and liberating.

His cock pressed against your opening, and when it finally pushed past the tightness with a nauseating pop, you bit your lip.  

You almost felt prideful when you heard him moan; he was usually pretty quiet.  How you managed to feel any sense of achievement or value when you were face down in a broom closet getting fucked up the ass… that was a different issue.

He didn’t give you much time to adjust as he picked up his speed, fucking you so much gentler than he ever did but still rougher than you were expecting, somehow.  Each time he was buried all the way inside, you felt like you were miles beyond your body’s limits, fuller and wider than was possible.  It made you wet, uselessly.

When he moved faster, his balls slapped against your pussy and you could hear how much you were loving this, even as disgusting and painful as it was.  He leaned forward to push your face into the ground and fucked you harder.  The new angle pushed him even deeper, opened you up even more brutally, and you couldn’t suppress a cry of pain.

“How’s it feel, huh?” he taunted.

“It hurts,” you told him with a voice much whinier than you intended, but you weren’t exactly complaining.  And you definitely weren’t asking him to stop.

Not that you were worried that he would.  If anything, it only inspired him to push you further as he grabbed your hips tight to slam you back onto his cock.  

He didn’t announce that he was close, but you could just barely tell based on the way your hazy brain couldn’t ignore the rapid increase in his thrusts.  A broken growl was your signal that he was filling you with come but you were too numb to feel any difference.  He kept fucking you through it, only stopping once every drop was inside you.  When he slowed to a stop you sighed with relief, wincing a little as he pulled out and trying to ignore the lewd way that your hole flexed and constricted.  You felt his come leaking as it dripped down over your pussy, down your thighs and onto the floor.  

The smell in this cramped space was inescapable, and putrid, and only now did you really become aware of it.

“Don’t just lay there,” he scoffed as he stood up, “come over here and get on your knees.”

At this point, you were so well-trained that you were obeying his words before you’d even processed them or taken the time to question what his intentions were.  

You looked up at him with watery eyes as he stroked his cock right above your face.  He was looking at you with the most uninterpretable expression… cold eyes, tightened jaw, lips curled into a grimace.

“Clean me off,” he demanded, shoving his softening length into your mouth, “come on, clean my cock off.”

You grimaced but did as he asked, sucking and licking as it slid down your tongue and back into your throat.  Didn’t take much of him for you to start choking, considering his size.

“Breathe through your nose,” he offered as a solution, but you had been trying to avoid smelling or tasting it.  You didn’t even want to think about it.

You even took the time to lick his balls clean, too, and they tasted like your own arousal, bringing back some memories which managed to disturb you in spite of their recentness.  When he was satisfied, he pushed you back onto the floor by your throat, and you swallowed thickly.

As per usual, he said nothing as he stuffed himself back into his jeans, or as he made a hasty exit.  When he shut the door behind him, you were left there used up and tossed aside; dress ruined, mascara smeared, panties torn, come seeping out of you, gasping for breath.  You had no plan for getting out of here without everyone seeing you; you had no plan for getting out of this sick, addictive cycle with him.  In the meantime, you would sit in the empty room and wait for the blood flow to return to your numbed extremities, wait for the aftershocks of arousal and orgasm to subside, and let yourself bask in the comfort of the dark.

[miracle-sham]

Crack Your Bones and Say Those Lies.

| {Jasonette July 2021, Saturday Challenge 3: And They Were Roommates} |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link] | | [Spotify Playlist Link] |

———

| After getting roped into the Vigilante life by Chat Noir, her friend and partner in crime, Maladroit tries her best to help fight crime to make the city a better place, if only Red Hood and his gang would stop causing problems. |

| Or alternatively, Marinette and Jason are roommates with secrets. Both have huge crushes on each other but more importantly, both are trying to juggle moonlighting as their secret identities. However, when watching the nightly news together, everything changes. |

| Word Count: 5,014. |

| Warnings/Tags: No Miraculous/Different Powers Au, Roommates, minor gang mentions/Red Hood is a gang lord, gun violence, Vigilantism, Identity Shenanigans/Mistakes, Miscommunication, some emotional hurt, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, and Domestic fluff. Also Oblivious, Protective, & Mutually Pining Marinette and Jason. |

———

| A/N: Hey! Sorry this is nearly a week late but where I live got hit with a nasty heatwave and I was barely able to write from sheer exhaustion from the heat. But on a happier note, I'm so glad I've finally been able to write and post a proper Vigilantes au (as in like Spidey style vigilantism with homemade gear and all!) Because that kinda Vigilante au especially combined with roommates is my favourite trope ever! Well maybe joint with Dragonrider AUs, but still! I've had multiple Vigilante Aus sitting in my notes and drafts so it's brilliant to finally release one into the wild! Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this! |

| Also side note, Don’t Like? Don’t Read. Also also, please do not criticise any of my writing. This was written for fun and receiving criticism, even in a compliment/criticism sandwich, is the exact opposite of fun. |

———

It's Friday night, and Maladroit and Chat Noir are midway through their usual patrol of their slice of territory in the city.

“Race you to the billboard!” Chat Noir calls out, snickering in an almost cat-like-chitter as he launches himself forwards. Swinging over Maladroit's head with his grapple, he lands on the next roof ahead, in a perfect three-point landing.

Maladroit giggles, “Oh, you're so on!” She grabs her grapple and shoots. Swinging after him and onto the same roof. She instead, dive forward rolls for her landing and uses the momentum to propel her into a run.

Losing his lead due to the momentum loss of the three-point landing, Chat Noir vaults over a roof vent.

Forced to swerve to the side, Maladroit barely dodges a massive puddle of rainwater on her side of the roof.

Neck and Neck, the two raced across the rooftop. Closer and closer to the billboard they raced.

Nearly there! She thinks, c'mon! Reaching an arm out to slap the billboard—

Bzzt!

“Eep!” She yelps, startled by the buzzing crackle of her earring-comms. Unintentionally, she accidentally veers to the side and crashes straight into Chat Noir's side.

They collide with a loud thud, and two of them crumple into a pile.

“Graceful as ever, Mal.” A voice teases over her earring-comms. “Joking aside, didn't mean to spook you, sorry!”

Maladroit groans, “thanks,” and gingerly extracts herself from the vigilante limb pile.

“Gamer!” Chat Noir cheers, having heard him through his own disguised comms. “Got any crimes for us to fight tonight?”

There's a chuckle over the line, “Lucky you should ask, Chat, I do happen to have found some villainous plans for you to thwart.”

Chat Noir cracks his knuckles and stretches. “Oh? What are they?”

“Two which are time-sensitive.” Gamer adds.

Maladroit stifles a squawk, “Two! That are time-sensitive?” Her voice goes up a pitch on the last word, making it sound like a question.

“Uh-huh.” He confirms. “Chat Noir, there's a break-in at a jewellery store two blocks over from you. I'm sending you the directions now to your phone.”

Chat Noir does a two-fingered salute to the nearest security camera. “Got it, G! Detective Noir is on the case!”

“And Maladroit, we've got reports of sightings of Red Hood outside his usual area. By the Warehouses on fourth. There are no security cams around there so I've got nothing but rumours to go on. See if you can check it out and find out what he's up to.” Gamer informs her, sounding slightly irritated at the fact he's got little information to give her.

Maladroit nods, grumbling slightly. “When isn't he up to something.”

Slinging an arm around her shoulder, Chat Noir grins like the Cheshire Cat. “C'mon, Mal! It'll be a quick sweep and nothing will turn up like the last twenty times we've gotten this kinda tip-off!”

“You owe me ice cream from André's when we're in civvies tomorrow!” She huffs. “I made us macarons last time!”

“I haven't forgotten!” Chat Noir protests. “Anyway, see you tomorrow if we don't catch each other for the end of the patrol?”

Maladroit nods. “Yep! See ya later Minou!”

The two split. Chat Noir dashing after the directions, and Maladroit swinging towards the warehouses on fourth.

———

Breathe, Maladroit—reminds herself, perched on the rafters in one of the warehouses on fourth. Staring at the blood-red glowing mask of the red hooded villain, who happens to be oh so creatively named the 'Red Hood', leaning on the balcony railing on the opposite side of the warehouse to her rafter, and presumably glaring up at her.

“It's you again, Maladroit.” He growls, distorted by whatever voice modifier he's got wired into his mask.

She can't help but wince at the reminder of the word she had accidentally said the first time she had ever helped Chat Noir fight crime. Which irritatingly enough, stuck as her vigilante name. Especially since her second attempt at a name, Ladybug, didn't stick. She frowns beneath the black and red spotted bandana covering her mouth, and tightly grips her bladed yo-yo—with piano wire instead of string—of the same colour scheme.

“What are you planning, Red Hood?” She spits out, voice also modified by her bandana, a tad too grumpy and bitterly for the awkward-but-smiley "persona" she's supposed to act like (although it's not so much of a persona when that's just how she is almost all the time). But in her defence, she's had a rough day at uni, things have been awkward at home because of her crush on her roomie lately, and more importantly, Red Hood's lackeys have been a pain in the neck for the past week, so her reaction is more than warranted.

He has the audacity to laugh. “What makes you think I'm going to tell you, Pipsqueak?”

“Well,” Maladroit huffs, “I was hoping you were feeling considerate.”

Red Hood shifts his shoulders. “Aww, sorry Pipsqueak. I'm not feeling particularly considerate today.” In a split second, he slips both guns from his holsters, spins them, and shoots.

Maladroit squeaks, instinctively tugging on her power, and dives off the rafter to dodge the shot. “Rude!”

She's just able to shoot her grapple off and swing up to another metal beam.

“How the fuck do you keep dodging my shots?” He snarls, gesturing at her with his guns in short angry-looking motions.

In response, she throws her yo-yo at him, tugging on her power again. The yo-yo spins through the air, slashing through the Red Hood's jacket sleeve and slicing a deep groove into the gun, then rewinds on the wire back to her. “What makes you think I'm going to tell you, Bullet Boy!” She parrots back, cheekily.

“Hey!” Red Hood snaps, aiming another shot at her.

Tugging on her powers once more, Maladroit yelps as she swings to yet another metal rafter beam in order to avoid the shot. “Your aim sucks!”

“Fuck you!” He retorts, firing off four more shots aimed at her head.

There's a horrifying moment as she barely manages to tug on her powers in time. The bullets barely skimming past her hood, one even tearing the fabric slightly.

“Mal!” Comes Gamer's terrified voice over her earring-comms, “I need you to pull back immediately! Red Hood and his gang have been spotted nearby and Chat can't get to you in time to back you up if you do get into a fight!”

She raises a hand to her earrings and quietly laughs hysterically. “Little too late for that, G! I'm uh currently staring… face to gun to him”

“Oh, fuck!” Gamer responds, voice going up a pitch. “I'm contacting Chat now. Try and get out if you can but prioritise not getting yourself killed, please!”

Red Hood fires his guns again. “Eyes and ears on me, Pipsqueak.”

Squeaking yet again, Maladroit desperately tugs on her power once more and swings to another rafter. Her heart thunders in her chest as loudly as his gunfire. She spits out a frantic, “no promises!” to both of them.

“I've informed him, your backup is on the way.” Gamer tells her.

The main warehouse doors clatter open with a resounding slam! Followed by the stomping of multiple pairs of boots storming inside.

Maladroit waves at Red Hood, the quiet terrified hysterical laughter practically bubbling out of her mouth. “Haha, well I'm afraid that's my cue to Bug Out!”

“Oh, I don't think so, Pipsqueak.” Red Hood taunts, shooting six bullets at her, rapid-fire. “I ain't finished with our convo yet.”

Squeaking for the umpteenth time, and really just giving him even more reason to keep giving her that stupid pipsqueak nickname, she riskily shoots her grapple, aiming and swinging towards the warehouse's large balcony windows.

“Get the fuck back here!” He snarls, voice deepening with fury. Pausing to reload before firing off more shots at her with abandon.

Maladroit wriggles midair, tugging on her powers to try and dodge the shots. She curls into a dive forward roll as the grapple forces her to land onto the balcony. The same one that Red Hood has been stood on this entire time. Oh, help me! She thinks, eyes widening behind her makeshift red with black tinted lenses, goggles-slash-domino mask.

He aims his gun at her once more. “Move and you fucking die, pipsqueak.”

Putting her hands in the air, she swallows a gulp of air. Her body armour is padded beneath her red, and black spotted, hoodie but it isn't bulletproof. And she can feel the straining exhaustion of overusing her powers clawing at her.

They're at a standoff. Still as statues, the both of them. It's almost poetic how they parallel each other. He's got his gun aimed at her, whilst she's desperately clutching at her grappling hook gun in one of her raised hands. Both donned in red. Both committing crimes in the eyes of the law. Two sides of the same coin, one and the same.

Maladroit feels sick to her stomach, staring down the barrels of his guns. Ever so slowly, she tugs on her powers. The window a little bit behind her creaks quietly enough that Red Hood doesn't seem to notice beneath the clamour of his gang doing whatever it is they're doing below.

She counts her breath and tugs on her power. A minute passes with no movement, no words, nothing happening on the balcony. Out of the corner of her eye, she can just see that it's now open enough that she should be able to make it out unscathed. Or at least mostly unscathed.

Closing her eyes, not that he can see, her power snaps. Instinctively she doubles over and slaps a hand over her mouth. Barely in time as a stifled scream is yanked from her throat, leaving her panting for breath. Her knees crash onto the balcony flooring. A bullet whizzes past her neck.

“Shit. What the fuck was that?” Red Hood grumbles, sounding genuinely concerned. He storms across the balcony towards her.

Maladroit can't help but flinch, bodily throwing herself back as far away from him as she can. Mind racing in panic.

He stows one gun back into a holster then reaches a hand towards her. “Hey, hey, hey. Calm down.”

“Gotta go! Bug-bye!” She squeaks out, wrenching on her power with all her remaining strength, and bolting for the window.

“I think the fuck not! Fucking pretending to be hurt.” Red Hood barks, ripping the gun back out of its holster.

Narrowly dodging the spray of bullets shot at her, Maladroit dives through the window and fires off her grapple. Safely swinging far away from the warehouse.

———

Carefully Maladroit drops with the ease of far too many nights of practise, onto the fire escape outside her bedroom window. She crouches and lets the shadows of the night hide her form. Creeping closer, she checks the windowsill for any marks or signs of tampering but it all comes away untouched. Content with her quick security check, she fumbles for the disguised piece of string wedging the window ajar in a way that's barely visible unless you know where to look for it. Got it! She thinks to herself, grabbing ahold of it and prying it, and the window above it, up and open.

Slipping through the open window, she sits on the sill to rip her thankfully not-too-dirty studded steel-toed boots off. Picking them up in one hand, she wiggles the rest of the way into her room and immediately resets the security measures, yanking the curtain down for privacy.

Maladroit then shuffles over to her bed. Tikki—her gorgeous fluffy red and dark brown miniature dachshund—blinks sleepily up at her, from the dog bed next to it. The puppy yaps in greeting before snuffling and curling back up to sleep.

She coos at the cuteness before continuing on. With the other hand not carrying the boots, she pries the blanket covered duffel bag out from underneath. Wrestling to unzip it in one janky and awkward motion, grunting slightly at the exertion. The metal of the zip digs in but the discomfort is mostly mitigated by the padded gloves and wrist guards she's wearing. The easy to clean plastic bag designated for temporary storing of her boots is dragged out of the bag and said boots are tossed in without a second glance.

Huffing, she starts to take the rest of her cross between mostly homemade and refashioned sports kit vigilante gear off. First, tugging down the hood of her hoodie and unclipping the black scrum cap hidden under it. It's dumped unceremoniously into a secondary plastic bag in the open duffel bag. After that, Maladroit removes the black neck guard and pulls her makeshift goggles-slash-domino mask over her head. Those too, are dumped into the other plastic bag. Then she unties the bandana with the nose guard underneath, from around her mouth and nose. Unsurprisingly, they're also dumped in the bag.

Next, she undoes the velcros on her red and black padded gloves, black wrist guards, as well as black elbow, knee, and shin pads. Also dumped into the other bag. With the outer protective wear removed, Maladroit pulls her hoodie over her head. Continuing on, she peels the padded rugby body armour and shorts off, and then the thermal under-armour. All dumped into the third and final plastic bag. “I swear,” Maladroit mumbles to herself, “getting changed out my gear never gets easier. And to think back when I had my last P.E. lesson at school, I thought I'd never have to touch this kinda kit ever again. Rip me.”

Lastly, Marinette—no longer Maladroit seeing as she is no longer in her vigilante gear—throws on her running-to-the-bathroom spare bathrobe to cover herself. She hastily shoves the three plastic bags into the duffel bag and kicks it under her bed. Purposefully leaving it unzipped but quickly fixing the blanket covering the bag, so that she can more easily grab her kit to clean everything later, whilst keeping it sufficiently hidden.

With that mostly taken care of, she nabs the mouthguard case, some clean pyjamas, and dashes out of her room—clinging awkwardly to the bathrobe. She hops in the apartment's shared bathroom, the rest of the place is silent, meaning her roomie, Jason, must have gone out. Still, Marinette locks the door regardless. If there's one thing she's learnt in her foray into the nightly masked vigilantism, is that one can never be too careful.

“Shit! Nearly forgot to take this out.” She grumbles to herself, just as she was stepping into the shower. Prying the mouthguard out of her mouth as she shuffles over to the sink, she gives it a quick rinse under the tap. Followed by a thorough scrubbing with her toothbrush and glob of toothpaste. She pops it into the mouthguard case and leaves it on the side of the sink for now.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Marinette finally allows herself to indulge in a good half an hour-long hot shower to get the grime from a night of crime-fighting off of herself.

She's only just drying off her hair, having already changed into her pyjamas, when the blare of the TV echoes through the apartment. Tensing up, her anxiety runs wild. It's what they get for living in the cheaper but slightly dodgy apartments where the walls are thin and the doors are thinner. Grabbing the mouthguard case, she wraps it up in the bathrobe and peeks out the bathroom door and looks down the hall into the open plan kitchen lounge. Jason's back, he's sitting on the sofa watching the TV.

Shoulders untensing, she finished drying her hair and heads out into the hallway. In place of a greeting, she exclaims, “oh! Jason, you're back!”

Jason flinches slightly and looks over his shoulder back at her. “Yeah, a friend had an emergency so, y'know.”

Immediately, concern wrenches at Marinette's heart, “oh no, I'm sorry. Are they… okay?”

He waves a hand in a so-so gesture and clears his throat awkwardly. “Uh, yeah. They're fine now.”

“That's good!” She says, nodding, as she makes her way fully into the lounge and the TV catches her attention. “Oh is it nearly the eleven o'clock news already? I need to watch this! Alya texted me earlier saying I have to, and she sounded really excited!” Glancing down at the bundle in her arms and flushes red. “Actually, I'll be back in a second!”

“I'll yell as soon as it actually starts.” Jason offers, smiling warmly at her.

Marinette just misses the smile, rushing back to her room, and throwing a quick, “thanks,” over her shoulder back at him.

Also missing his smile turn fond and the good-natured roll of his eyes at her antics.

Barely half a minute passes before she's bounding back into the lounge, with a sleepy Tikki at her heels. She plops herself down on the sofa next to him and hopes the blush on her face could simply be mistaken for the flush of running about like a mad thing instead. Tikki whines until Marionette picks her up and lets her on the sofa with them, padding over to the furthest corner to curl up in.

Jason points to the pink floral steaming mug on the coffee table, right next to his Pride Prejudice and Zombies themed mug. “Whilst you were in the shower, I made us both hot chocolates with marshmallows, my granddad Alfie's recipe.”

“Oh!” Marinette responds in pleasant surprise. She turns to him and positively beams, eyes shining with happiness. “Thank you so much, Jason! You're always so thoughtful!”

He blushes and rubs the back of his neck bashfully. “Yeah, well, I thought it's only fair since you normally make 'em. And I visited Alfie recently, and I promised to get you his recipe to try, so I thought it'd be a nice surprise for once!” He pauses and points at the big bowl also on the coffee table, “also I cooked us some popcorn.”

“Aw! Thank you again! I really appreciate this!” She scoops up the hot chocolate with slight reverence and takes a sip. Immediately her face lights up even more in joy. “Oh, this is delicious!”

Jason chuckles, “isn't it the best! I'll pass that onto Alfie though, he'll be glad to know you like it so much. Speaking of which, he's gonna give making them a try next time I'm up since I wasn't there long enough this time. Would you fancy coming with me to see him, then?”

Her eyes widen and her heart stutters in her chest, feeling close to bursting from happiness. “I'd love to! Do you have a date when you're thinking of going up?”

He nods. “Yeah, maybe around—”

But he's interrupted by the starting audio of the eleven o'clock news.

They both immediately shut up and watch the screen intently as the news anchors appear on the show. The starting discussion is somewhat boring, talking about the local billionaire Wayne-or-something business and a related upcoming charity event of some sort.

Marinette doesn't pay attention to it, but she does catch Jason wrinkling his nose and scowling at the conversation.

Luckily, the topic shifts quickly enough. “And now, over to our newest reporter, Alya. We hear there's been some rumblings regarding the conflict between local vigilante Chat Noir, his sidekick Maladroit, and the gang controlled by the infamous Red Hood himself.”

“That's stupid,” Jason grumbles, “Maladroit is a fully-fledged vigilante in her own right and not just the catboy's sidekick. That's like saying Nightwing is Batman's sidekick!”

Marinette frowns, very touched by his words and trying her damnedest to appear nonchalant. “I don't know… from all the-uh news clips, Maladroit seems like Chat Noir's sidekick to me. She's always hovering nervously near him like a strong wind would spook her.”

“C'mon! She's been reported to have held her own against Red Hood on multiple occasions, alone!” He argues, sounding rather offended on her alter egos behalf.

Scoffing, she shakes her head. “Clearly that's because he's going easy on her! He's never directly shot her, according to the reports clearly, he's soft on her!” The lies taste bitter on her tongue.

Jason splutters and flushes bright red, turning away from her slightly. “W-well that's obviously a testament to her skill and not Red Hood's mercy! He's always reported as being a merciless killer, why'd he be soft on her!”

“I don't know!” She makes a dying-choking noise as she flushes even more red than earlier. Shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth to avoid having to respond any further.

Luckily, the news shows pans over to Alya standing in front of a screen showing a recorded feed of a warehouse. Not just any warehouse, but specifically the one on fourth that Maladroit had faced Red Hood in less than an hour ago.

Marinette feels her pulse quicken at the reminder of the close shave she'd had.

“Hey wait a second, those warehouses don't have security cameras at all? How'd they get this footage?” Jason complains, eyes narrowed at the TV.

It feels as though ice has been poured down her spine at his words. She freezes, body stiffening in shock. He's right… G said there's none because that's why he asked me to check things out. The only people who'd know this are Chat, Gamer, myself, and Red Hood and his gang. She swallows thickly and tries to subtly side-eye Jason. Oh no. I've been crushing on my roommate who works for Red Hood's gang? Oh god! The friend with the emergency was referring to Red Hood calling him into work!

She can't help but inhale a shallow panicked breath. He could've been one of the lackeys shooting at me and Chat this past week. Or, or I could've hurt him with my yo-yo. Or—

Jason turns to fully face, clearly registering the blatant panic on her face. “Hey, hey, hey, Marinette, you're okay, you're safe. What's wrong?”

“Are you working for Red Hood?” Marinette blurts out, accidentally, the words pouring out in an unintentional panicked rush. “Are you in his gang?”

He jerks back, fear, confusion, and hurt crosses his face. “Wh-what? What makes you think that?”

“His gang was just in that warehouse, and you were out on an emergency for a "friend". And how would you have known unless you were there tonight and working for his gang?” She chews her lip forcefully and winces as the taste of iron floods her mouth.

He reaches towards her, eyes widening concern.

She flinches back, suddenly reminded of how similar this is to that moment with Red Hood on the warehouse balcony.

Jason jerks back as if her flinching burnt him. Raising his hands, he leans away from her to give her some semblance of space. “Fuck. Look, I'm not going to hurt you! Have I ever hurt you whilst we've been roomies?”

Nervously, she shakes her head.

“I really care about you, Marinette. Hell, we've lived together for nearly a year now. I would never hurt you, okay! I promise.” Tears prick in his eyes, and he grimaces slightly, lowering his hands to rest on his lap. “Yeah, I uh, I'm working for him. But I do everything I can to keep work from following me home. I didn't tell you because I never wanted to scare you.”

Guilt gnaws at her. “I'm sorry! I shouldn't have judged. I—” She takes a shaky breath, “I really really care about you too. I'm just worried, what if Red Hood, or even Maladroit, or any of the other vigilantes hurt you? What if you get hurt in one of those gang wars?” Her words aren't lies but they're not the full truth either.

He sighs, “I can't promise I won't ever get hurt on the job. Maladroit and the other vigilantes do a lot of good but Maladroit especially is far too nice to hurt any of us. I've uh, seen her fight some of the others gang members, and been fought by her too. And out of everyone against the gang, she's the one who leaves us with barely more than a scratch at worst.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Most in the gang really respect her for that, y'know.”

Marinette's brain feels like the windows shutting down sound. “Oh. Oh.”

Sheepishly, he smiles half-heartedly at her. “Yeah.”

“So, is that why you were so adamant she's a fully-fledged vigilante in her right?” She asks, feeling bashful yet honoured whilst completely surprised.

Jason clears his throat and glances away. “Uh-huh.”

“Oh.” Her brain rewinds a moment. She splutters for a second, desperation racing through her. “Wait, she's fought you!?”

Full-on grimacing, he nervously laughs. “Left but a scratch!”

“Are you misquoting Monty Python right now? Oh good gods, that's the knight who says that after getting his limbs chopped off!” Marinette exclaims, looking every bit as horrified as her tone of voice conveys.

“Seriously, I've never gotten worse than a couple of minor cuts and bruises, I'm fine!” Jason reiterates.

She frowns and gingerly shuffles across the sofa closer to him. He keeps leaning back away, so she physically throws herself at him, pulling him into a tight hug. Incidentally burying her face in his shirt. “Okay, okay. Just, please let me know next time you get hurt. I've a friend who lived in a bad situation before, so I know how to help patch up minor injuries. Promise?”

Jason stiffens at the hug and slowly moves one hand to cup the back of her head whilst wrapping the other around her back. He shuts his eyes, cocking his head back and sighs. “Alright. I promise I'll tell you. And I'm sorry for keeping something this big from you. As I said, I was worried you'd be scared of me or that you'd get dragged into gang-related shit because of it.”

“You don't need to apologise.” Marinette mumbles in response, “I get it. I really do understand.” She bites at her sore bleeding lips again in guilt, her secret identity left unspoken on her tongue.

He shrugs, “so uh. I'm guessing you're still happy to stay roomies then, right?”

“Of course!” She responds without missing a beat hugging him even tighter.

Eventually, they release each other from the embrace to finish their now lukewarm hot chocolates and popcorn. The news continues playing, no longer forgotten in the background as the two try to act as if nothing has changed.

———

Jason collapses onto his bed with a heavy sigh. He pulls out his phone and rings a number on autopilot.

The dial tone plays as the line connects. “Hey, whaddup Jay?”

“Holy fucking shit balls, man.” Jason groans. “I fucked up.”

Roy hums, “like need help burying a body fucked up or what?”

Jason groans even louder, smushing his face into his bed covers. “My roomie is smart, right. I accidentally let a tiny detail slip when we were chatting whilst watching the eleven o'clock news as usual. And she now thinks that I'm in Red Hood's gang.”

There's a long pause, before Roy bursts into raucous laughter. “Holy shit, I'm dying! She's not wrong!”

“Yeah. I know. She ain't right either though.” He grumbles in response. “She was absolutely terrified when she realised. Nearly had a full-on panic attack and everything.”

“Oh fuck.” Roy helpfully says.

Jason grunts in agreement. “She was also real concerned that Red Hood or the vigilantes have hurt me.”

“Well, that's better?” Roy offers, sounding rather unsure of his own words.

“Yeah but she's taken thinking I'm some low-level member of my gang this badly, how the fuck d'ya think she's gonna take finding out I'm the big bad Red Hood himself?” Jason sighs. “I don't want to ask her out without her knowing this, 'cause it could endanger her.”

Roy hums again, “well, you've been roommates this long already and she's been completely safe from the Vigilante-Gang life so far.”

There's a gentle thump as Jason lifts his head and throws it into the sheets again out of sheer frustration. He relents, reluctantly. “That's true…”

“See. And since it sounds like she's not planning on moving out, clearly she doesn't mind living with you. Just ask her out to dinner already.” Roy adds, cheerfully.

Huffing, he rolls over on the bed. “I'm starting to feel like those weird girl slumber party ads with the creepy phone-a-boy games.”

Roy wheezes, followed by a thudding noise and the distant sound of his cackling.

“Wow. And to think I called you for help. I'm offended.” Jason goads with no bite, waiting a few seconds to hear Roy's response but it's just more laughter.

He rolls his eyes and ends the call, not like Roy will mind. Throwing an arm over his face, Jason barely refrains from grabbing his pillow to scream into. He doesn't, obviously. Because the walls are thin enough that Marinette might hear him and he's worried her enough this night as is.

Sighing like a lovesick protagonist in a period romance novel, Jason moves his arm to run his fingers through his own hair. A date. Just gotta ask her at some point, to dinner at a fancy-ish restaurant. It'll be fine, what's the worst that can happen?

Her terrified reaction on the sofa flashes through his mind, followed by the reminder of how small and scared Maladroit had seemed when she had fallen to her knees on the warehouse balcony. There was no way that she was faking the pain, like he'd initially thought. She had practically staggered in her mad dash to escape. And there's no way for me to find out whether she got to somewhere safe afterwards. God, she could be lying dead in some dank alleyway for all I know right now. Fuck, I hope she's okay...

He groans in distress and shifts in place. Already feeling like he really won't be getting any sleep at all tonight at this rate, thanks to his concern for those two.

———

| Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little fic! Comments, Likes, and Reblogs are much appreciated! |

| I decided to go close to canon for names this time, hence why Chat Noir remains unchanged but Max is Gamer (because A. that was his Akuma name, and B. he's like Player from Carmen Sandiego in this, couldn't help myself), and Marinette is Maladroit (from the first thing she calls herself in Origins). |

| Oh, also whilst it's not explicitly stated in the text; Marinette/Maladroit's has the power of luck/being lucky, Chat Noir has the power of being unlucky, and Red Hood has "Perfect Aim" aka he's a hitscan. Which is why Maladroit is able to dodge his bullets by making herself "lucky enough" to dodge in time. |

| Also feel free to send me any comments with any questions you have regarding this fic, I'll be more than happy to answer! |

| @jasonette-july-event |

[nctsworld]

no filters (just you)

✩ johnny x reader | pining | fluff | photographer au | 1.7k 

→ summary: in which you finally steal a peek at your best friend’s camera gallery and are surprised to find countless photos of you throughout it all.   → warnings: some drinking, few swear words, kissing

→ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

The bustling of the joyous occasion surrounds you. String lights glow under the summer night sky. They encompass the white linen tables topped with delicate flowers and ornaments, alongside all the dressed up people dancing, sitting, laughing, and overall having a great time. 

You’re one of the people sitting at a table, indulging yourself with a glass of champagne in one hand. However, you aren’t alone. Johnny, your best friend, is the photographer for the wedding and was allowed to bring a guest. Not much persuasion was needed when free food and drinks were involved. 

Taking a sip of your drink, you watch your towering friend finish taking a picture of people on the dance floor before he heads straight towards you. His camera sways lightly with his cool walk and when he finally reaches you, he feigns an exhausted sigh and sinks into the chair next to you.

“Man, photography just takes so much out of me,” he shakes his head while loosening his tie. 

“Does it really, though?” you cock an eyebrow, then flash him your signature smile. He reflects your expression, grabs your glass, and takes a sip. Actually, more than a sip, since he finishes all the bubbly without hesitation.

“I thought you don’t drink on the job.” 

Setting the thin vessel down, he shakes his head defensively, “I never said that. I said I don’t get drunk on the job. There’s a difference.” 

You snatch your empty glass back and begin to refill it as Johnny carefully removes the camera strap from his body prior to gently placing the camera on the table. He leaves a hand on it, giving him a sense of security over his prized possession (and because it’s the reason why he’s getting paid tonight). 

Johnny looks back and forth between the floor and the table when he says, “Sorry I couldn’t really be with you tonight.”

In the midst of a sip, you immediately refute his apology. “No, don’t apologize, Johnny. You’re working, and you know I can’t complain.” You gesture towards all the food and drinks. 

“But...” you play with the stem of the glass. “Can I at least see some of the pictures?” 

“No, you cannot,” he quickly answers, shutting you down like he usually does. You pout. 

“You know I couldn’t give two shits if you take pictures of naked girls in your spare time, right?” Sarcasm oozes from your accusation, but anyone walking by and hearing it wouldn’t know otherwise. 

“Oh, my God,” he runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head from your lack of shame. You notice his cheeks start to colour, but you’re unsure if that’s from the drink or embarrassment. 

“Firstly, all the pictures of the naked girls I take are on my other camera,” he begins to count on his fingers, responding against your banter. “And secondly, I’m working on a secret photography project. Once I’m done, then you can see it.” 

“You promise?” you hold your pinky out. 

He chuckles. “I promise.” 

His pinky finger curls around yours, then both of you angle your hand a bit upward to have your thumbs touch. After the promise is sealed, the two of you have some fun on the dance floor until midnight rolls around and guests trickle more and more away. Johnny deals with the last bit of his job before he begins to drive you home. 

You relax into the passenger seat, looking at all the things that pass by in the middle of the night. Johnny’s music softly plays in the background and almost lulls you to sleep until he mentions he has to stop for gas. 

“I’m gonna pick up some snacks. Do you want any?”

A few come to mind, so you list them for him to pick up on your behalf. He smiles, jokingly tells you not to go anywhere, and heads into the gas station’s convenience store as he’s done filling his tank. While you watch him make his way towards the store, a lightbulb goes off in your head. Without thinking, your hand reaches in the back seat of his car and grasps onto his camera; you couldn’t help but jump at the chance to rummage through his camera gallery. 

The camera’s screen glares at you in the darkness of the car. It’s a bit painful, but you persist and smile back at all the people enjoying themselves in the wedding photos. 

Whenever you see Johnny’s shots, they never fail to amaze you. He has the ability to capture a moment in its purest essence. If a picture is worth a thousand words, Johnny’s pictures were worth double.

Suddenly, you notice a photo of yourself sitting at the table, glancing off to one side. You think to yourself that Johnny caught you in such a picture-perfect moment, he probably couldn’t help himself. 

You scroll further through the wedding photos, but realization gradually dawns on you when you notice that there are more photos of you than there should be at an event that wasn’t even your own. 

Hastily, you go to the master gallery page to view several photos at once. The camera almost drops from your hands as your fingers fumble with the back button to view photos that date back from weeks and months ago at mutual friends’ gatherings. 

Earlier in the summer for Taeyong’s birthday, you see glimpses of you in various shots. Laughing, smiling, wincing. You didn’t even know you had such facial expressions. 

There’s shots of your back peering at a sunset, looking off the balcony of Taeil’s new apartment from his housewarming.

Before then, there’s shots of you at a dinner party celebrating Mark’s promotion at work. 

Johnny’s taken so many photos of you without you ever knowing. How did you not realize? 

You hold the camera’s screen close to your body for a second, wondering if you’re simply Johnny’s artistic muse for a mere project or if there is something actually more to all this. 

Did Johnny really see you as more than friends? 

Did he view you the way you silently yearn for him, or did he only like you through a camera lens?

Turning your head, you see Johnny strolling out of the store with snacks in his arms. Faster than the speed of light, you ensure the camera roll is back to the last wedding photo taken and almost throw it against the back seat. You seethe, knowing Johnny would kill you if he knew you did that, but you maintain composure. You pull your phone out, playing cool just in time as he opens the door. 

During the rest of the ride, you try your hardest to pretend nothing’s wrong. Even when silent, Johnny’s known you long enough to know something’s off. He doesn’t say anything until he pulls up in front of your place. When he does, the suited figure turns off the engine, but leaves the music playing still. 

“Hey,” he whispers your name in the night air. It’s tender, but worrisome. Not a common thing you hear from him. “You okay?” 

You lie, barely nodding, and glance down with a slight grip on the snacks he bought you. The crinkle of the bags are a loud intrusion to the background music and silent air. 

“I…” You’re searching for what to say, deciding if you should continue to lie or not. 

“I may have went through your camera.” The truth croaks out of you, and you’re shaking your head because on top of your confusion, you’re feeling waves of guilt from intruding your best friend’s privacy. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” 

From your peripheral vision, you catch Johnny’s hand grip a little tighter on the steering wheel, then his grip relaxes and he rubs his thumb delicately against it. 

“Can I just say,” he speaks after a few passing moments that feel like eternity, into the tension still present in the air. “I’m not a stalker or creeper, I swear.” 

A beat passes. 

You cut the thick tension with a small laugh. He follows and begins to laugh along with you.

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” you sarcastically add and look over at him. 

“Hey, you know I need to cover my grounds. I don’t need my best friend suing my ass.” 

Hearing the term “best friend” lingers and sits with both of you strangely in the air.

“Do you…” you begin to ask the question that may hurt the most, so you elect to ask a less loaded question. “Are you actually doing a photography project using my pictures?” 

He nods with the dim street light shining on him. He’s tired, you can tell, and you feel more guilt for keeping him up any longer than you should. Despite his wariness, Johnny still looks gorgeous, especially with the perfect lighting. Sometimes, he jokes that life is a runway for him, but in this moment, you begin to understand and agree with him. 

“Yeah, it’s a project on something that I consider beautiful,” Johnny glances over to you as the last word rolls off his tongue, and you’re smiling softly at his compliment. “I’m supposed to present it later this week. I was going to figure out a way to break it to you afterwards.” 

Hearing Johnny call you beautiful has your heart fluttering. You just want to jump out of the car, squeal so much that the neighbours would wake up, then you would run into your home and call it a night.

Instead, your body takes control and courage courses through your veins when you reach for the end of his tie. You daintily roll the tip of it between your fingers and let the haunting question free, ready for whatever follows.   

“Do you like me? As more than a friend?” 

You’re suddenly conscious of how hard you’re breathing and your heart flutters become hard knocks against your chest. Johnny’s face is now a few inches away from yours. At this point, you’re unsure if you’re playing with his tie out of nervousness or desiring for something more, or perhaps both. Your eyes attempt to lock with his and you note how he’s breathing just as hard as you are. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Johnny this nervous before. 

“Yeah,” he exhales with a nod. You smell a small hint of the champagne scent against your face from his breath, along with the scent of his faded cologne. Johnny finally manages to match your gaze. “Do you?” 

Without a word, you answer his question by practically yanking his tie closer to you, meeting his lips with yours. 

The night ends with you two kissing breathlessly in the backseat until hues of orange and yellow begin to stain the horizon. 

[anotherplaceintheuniverse]

risotto (portwell first date fic)

As requested by anon, a look at Portwell’s first date

read on A03 here or below the cut

“Ash?” Gina knocked on Ashlyn’s door nervously. Ashlyn knew something was up. Not only did Gina never knock, she always felt more than comfortable telling her absolutely anything and everything.

“What’s up?” Ashlyn placed her guitar down at the foot of her bed. “Are you okay?”

“Um...EJ kind of asked me out-”

“Oh my god! That’s so exciting!” Ashlyn noticed Gina’s long face. “That is exciting, right?”

“Yeah,” Gina sighed. “I just...I’ve never been on a real date before and...I don’t know what you wear to this sort of thing.”

“Say no more,” Ashlyn placed her hands on Gina’s shoulders. “I know exactly who we need to call.”

Before Gina knew what was happening, Kourtney and Nini were running around Gina’s room assembling the perfect look. “Where is he taking you?” Nini smiled as she perfected Gina’s eyeliner.

“Um...we’re getting risotto actually.”

“Risotto?” Kourtney laughed.

“What is with you two and risotto?” Ashlyn giggled.

“It’s a funny story actually.” Gina smiled just thinking about the memory. “Remember when we took our little field trip to North High?”

“Who could forget?” Kourtney grumbled as she held up a shirt before deciding against it.

“Well, when I was standing watch, this guy came up to me and I guess I kind of froze. I didn’t know what to say but EJ swooped in and called me babe and asked if we were getting risotto.” Gina trailed off; the story suddenly felt embarrassing as she shared it aloud.

“What did the guy say?” Nini laughed.

“He just left but EJ and I figured if we were going on a date we could actually get risotto.”

“Okay this might be stupid but what even is risotto?” Ashlyn questioned from her spot on the bed.

“I don’t really know,” Gina whispered which caused all the girls to burst into a fit of laughter.

“You really like him, huh?” Nini smiled at Gina in the mirror.

“Yeah, I do.” Gina nodded slowly. “Is that okay? Like...will that make things weird with us?”

“Don’t worry,” Nini shook her head. “I haven’t thought about EJ in that way in a long time. I’m happy for you.”

“Alright. Enough yapping.” Kourtney held a hanger out to Gina. “This. This is what you should wear.”

“Thank you.” Gina smiled. “All of you. For everything. You guys are the best friends a girl could ask for.”

“Anything for you,” Nini wrapped her arms around Gina’s shoulders from behind.

“Get changed!” Ashlyn squealed. “EJ will be here soon!”

Gina rushed to the bathroom and started to change her clothes. “Guys?” the others heard her call.

“Oh god, what’s wrong?” Kourtney rushed to the door.

“What do you talk about on...you know...on a date?”

“What do you and EJ normally talk about?”

“Everything,” Gina sighed. “He’s just so easy to talk to.”

“Then tonight won’t be any different.”

EJ arrived at Ashlyn and Gina’s house about fifteen minutes later giving Kourtney and Nini just enough time to add finishing touches before being rushed out by Ashlyn. Gina paced around the room until they both heard a knock on the front door. “You got this!” Ashlyn gave her a thumbs up.

Gina slowly made her way to the front of the house fidgeting with her hands all the while. She opened the door and the second she saw EJ’s gentle smile, all her nerves melted away. “Hey,” he bit his lip. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” Gina smiled. “You clean up nicely.”

“Only the best for you, Porter,” EJ chuckled. “Don’t tell anyone though. Don’t want anything to damage my reputation.”

“Of course.”

“Ready to go?” EJ offered his arm. Gina easily linked her arm in his. It was like they were made to be there Gina thought.

“Ash, I’ll have her home by midnight!” EJ called.

“You better!”

Like a true gentleman, EJ opened the passenger door for Gina and made sure she was comfortable before slamming it shut and rushing to the driver’s side. “Music?” EJ smiled at her handing her his phone.

Gina skimmed through his Spotify playlists which were as she had expected: one for studying, one for working out, one for driving. The one that surprised her, however, was his musical theatre playlist. “I didn’t realize you were such a theatre nerd,” she giggled. 

“Yeah, well,” EJ chuckled.

“Is it weird that I want to listen to Beauty and the Beast? I kind of miss it.”

“Haven’t you heard it a thousand times at this point?”

“Yeah but I guess it’s more about the memories. Like the first time you and Big Red performed ‘Gaston’ in your full costumes. I’ll never forget everyone’s reaction to your eyebrows.”

“Hey! You said they weren’t that bad!”

“They weren’t!” She squealed. “You can make anything look good, Caswell.”

“Thanks, G,” he smiled at her. “You’re an amazing dancer, you know?”

“So you’ve said-”

“I mean it. You have this passion and the way you smile like it’s the best performance you’ll ever have but you just keep topping yourself.” He glanced over at her. “You’re just full of surprises, Porter.”

Gina smiled nervously finally settling on “Something There.” EJ laughed when he realized what song was playing. He reached his hand over the center console interlacing his fingers with hers. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze as focused his eyes back on the road.

When they reached the restaurant, Gina was surprised by how fancy it was. She obviously knew what she wanted to order to eat but when the waiter came to ask what they wanted to drink, she had to think for a moment. “Would it be terrible of me to order punch?” She tried to stare at EJ seriously before breaking out in laughter.

“Only if you promise not to pour it all over me this time.”

“Oooh. I don’t know if I can do that. I might-”

“Your order?” The waiter was growing impatient which made Gina to want to laugh even more.

“Two fruit punches please,” EJ replied for the two of them. “Thanks.”

As the waiter walked away, Gina couldn’t hold back her giggles any longer causing her to snort. EJ cackled in response. The two knew that everyone was staring at them; this was no way to behave in an establishment like this. But Gina just couldn’t find it in her to care. Everything felt easy with EJ.

“If you two can’t pull yourselves together, we will have to ask you to leave,” the waiter snarled when he returned with their drinks.

“We’ll behave,” EJ nodded biting his lip to hold back his laughter.

When they finally calmed down, EJ shook his head. “You’re something else, Gina Porter.”

It was late when they finally stepped outside again. The restaurant had been packed and between all the talking and laughing, they were at the table for hours. Then, EJ had insisted they get the supreme brownie dessert which ended up being much larger than either had planned. EJ wrapped his arm around Gina’s shoulders as they made their way to his car. “This was fun,” Gina sighed when they finally got in the car. “You make everything fun.”

EJ smiled as he tried to find the perfect song to play. He laughed at himself as “Music in Me” from High School Musical 2 filled the speakers. “You were a good Troy, you know?” Gina said softly.

“Oh yeah for the five minutes I got to be him.”

“I’m serious,” Gina smacked his arm lightly. “You were so...vulnerable. It was kind of awesome.”

“Just wish the Wonderstudies got their show. The world deserved to see you as Gabriella.”

“I’m kind of happy with the way it all worked out as hectic as it was.”

“It wouldn’t be an East High production without a little chaos, right?”

“And it brought us here, didn’t it?”

They sat in a comfortable silence the rest of the way home. When they weren’t sneaking glances at each other, EJ was thinking about what Gina had said. Sure, High School Musical and Beauty and the Beast had their flaws but they were theirs. And no one could take those memories from them. 

When they finally got to the Caswell-Porter residence, EJ put the car in park and sat there for a moment. “I’m really glad you came back, G.”

“Me, too.” Gina went to open her door.

“Call me in the morning?” EJ asked grabbing her hand.

“Of course,” she nodded. “Thanks for tonight, Eej.”

EJ bit his lip contemplating whether or not it was appropriate for him to kiss her. Before he could think too hard though, Gina leaned over the center console and gave him a soft kiss.  “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Gina.”

Wanting to relish in the moment for as much as she could, Gina slowly exited the car and made her way inside the house. EJ made sure she was inside before he drove away. Ashlyn rushed to the living room the second she heard the front door open and close. “So? How was it?”

“It was...awesome,” Gina sighed.

“Yeah?” Ashlyn pulled Gina onto the couch. “Tell me everything.”

“I don’t even know where to begin.”

[anystalker707]

It’s not going to be alright

Pairing: Gerard x Reader Word count: ~ 2 300 Genre: Angst, fluff, comfort TW: Anxiety attack, sort of Summary: (Y/n) brings Gerard to meet their parents. It doesn’t go as well as expected. Requested by @thegnotecannothurtusanymore​ a/n: I hope this is what you wanted and that you like it

"Do I look fine?" Gerard still sounds insecure as he stands in front of the mirror, adjusting his jacket lightly while also checking his hair and makeup, turning his head from side to side slowly a few times. He repeatedly runs his fingers through his hair, a sharp sigh escaping his nose.

"Of course, you always do," I say with a smile, standing behind him and observing him through the mirror. "C'mon, you don't need to be so nervous. I don't even care if they don't like or approve you, this is just because they're curious about you." Wrapping my hands around his wrists, I pull his hands away from himself in an attempt of helping Gerard with calming down. He's already perfect.

"But... Still, what if they try to separate us?" To say Gerard is worried is a euphemism.

I push Gerard to sit down on his bed and place my hands on his shoulders. "Listen, they're just my parents, not me. It doesn't matter whether they like you or not. They can't control me the whole time. We can, dunno, run away if we need to, don't worry about it!" I smile in an attempt of cheering him up and it seems to work.

Gerard noticeably relaxes under my touch. He wraps his arms around me and brings me closer, his head against my abdomen.

"It's going to be alright, Gee," I tell him softly as playing with his hair. He nods hesitantly.

We've been together for around a year now and, from hearing so much about me having a boyfriend and never seeing him, my parents decided that I should bring him home for dinner. Gerard almost freaked out because of it at first, something I completely don't judge him for. He was desperate about finding formal clothes for the dinner, but I told him to dress... like himself, just a kinda formal due to the occasion, but not completely. There would be no point for him to dress up in something he is uncomfortable with and to pretend to be someone he isn't just for my parents. If they're going to accept him, they must accept him the way he is and the way I love him.

Not to mention that we wouldn't be able to sustain a lie for too long. It's relatively easy hearing rumors about Gerard – after all, there aren't many other punk kids in the city. Also, if they hypothetically liked him like that and called him over for dinner more often, it would be an even harder thing to maintain. He can't hide all the scars or wounds all the time neither lie about some of them.

"What time is it? Maybe we should get going," Gerard says as he reaches for his phone and checks on it without letting me move away. "Yeah, we should," he answers himself and looks up at me, smiling a bit.

Soon, we are in my car and heading over to my place. I had come over to help him with getting ready and just to make sure he wouldn't mess up with anything because of getting too anxious.

"It's going to be alright," I repeat myself before we leave the car. Gerard does his best to smile in response while nodding. We leave the car and move to the front door, where I reassure him once again by giving his hand a light squeeze then I walk in. "Hey, we've arrived," I call to my parents as Gerard closes the door behind us.

"We're over here in the dining room, dear," my mother's voice comes from the said place.

The table is nicely set, the trays and pans filled with food we usually just eat on Sundays or certain occasions, what makes me smile at the same time I see it. Gerard seems just as pleased, an also appreciative air over his features as he looks at everything, cheeks growing red when his eyes meet mine.

When I look at my parents, however, their reaction isn't in any way pleasing. They look at Gerard like if they were expecting gold, but were just given a cheap copy instead or something completely different.

"Um," Gerard breaks the tense silence, seeming to not really have noticed my parents' reaction. "I'm Gerard, Gerard Way. It's nice to finally meet you." He smiles, looking at the two with nervous eyes. Well, now he's noticed it.

"Oh, so you're Gerard." The word sounds bitter coming from my father. He looks away, lips pursed and he doesn't make any effort in hiding his light displeasure. My mother takes the same path, a clearly forced smile decorating her lips as she slowly nods, drowning the room in awkwardness. I hate her for it. I mean, they don't even know Gerard yet.

A sigh escapes my lips as I just pull on Gerard's hand for him to sit down already as I do so myself, concluding my parents won't tell us to do it. Annoying. My parents do the same.

"Okay, so... Gerard," my mother speaks up first while everyone is serving themselves. He hums questioningly, smiling a bit. She continues. "Do you work? Do you do anything besides studying?"

"I actually don't need to work," Gerard replies, pushing his chair closer to the table after taking all the food he wanted. "I draw a lot in my free time and I've been trying to publish a comic."

Approval? No. The same displeasure shows itself on their faces, poorly hidden by fake smiles.

"Oh, that's... interesting," my mother breathes a chuckle, looking down at her food. Her chuckle sounds more of a 'look at how stupid he is' thing. Okay, okay, maybe I'm imagining things, right...? Let me avert my attention away from it.

"Gerard is excellent at drawing." I smile proudly and share a look with Gerard, who seems more relieved with my comment.

My mother makes an unconvinced face, but she doesn't have the opportunity to continue talking because my father speaks up next. "And you're off school soon, right? Have you already applied for any college?" He seems a bit more friendly than my mother, something I believe to be a brief impression due to how he's barely talked until now.

"Yeah, I've been accepted in the school of visual arts in NY," Gerard breathes with a proud air, already concluding how tiring it's all gonna be. In a social battery sense. The two will probably question Gerard until he walks out that door. It's going to be exhausting.

"Arts?" More reproval. My father raises his eyebrows amused after Gerard nods and my mother holds back a sigh, moving to sip on her glass of soda like if she can't handle it all. "That's peculiar, certainly. Something really difficult to get a future in, isn't it?" He says in clear mocking and looks at my mother. Look at this fool; I can practically hear them thinking. I don't know if it makes me angry or sad or both. Honestly, I already predicted things weren't going to turn out well, but this is just terrible.

"Like if Gerard would ever fail in anything while he's got so many talents like that," I roll my eyes. My comment goes ignored apart from how Gerard blushes and grins.

"Oh, but I've got a band in case anything goes wrong!" Gerard shrugs in a sudden wave of confidence.

"His band is awesome," I add. Ignored. Hah.

"A band!" A laughter comes from my father and my mother follows suit. They spend a moment laughing, but reality seems to hit them again before the fact Gerard and I remained in silent, both of us observing them in disbelief.

My mother shakes her head in dismissal as covering her mouth for a moment – at least making an effort, what seemed to be too hard to my father. "Erm, that's wonderful! Wonderful," she says.

A sigh escaped my lips at the thought I'll probably pull Gerard out of here myself soon if things continue like that.

Thankfully, some minutes into the dinner, we've got some peace, but all the evil comments and mocking continue right after. Sometimes my parents do apologize. Not genuinely, tho. For real, I feel like it would've been easier if they just got angry and kicked us out as soon as seeing Gerard or something instead of opting for psychological torture. I'm feeling attacked myself.

The dinner being over almost feels like a miracle to me – I quickly stand up from my chair and pull Gerard along with me.

"So, I'll be heading to Gerard's tonight. I'm spending the night at his place, like I promised," I say as giving his hand a light squeeze, running my thumb over his knuckles softly.

He seems really uncomfortable.

"Oh, you are?" My mother sighs, shaking her head to herself. "Okay then, just remember to come home. Love you, dear, see you," she says to me before she takes a good look at Gerard, then walks away to the kitchen with the dirty dishes in hands, not even bothering to tell him a goodbye or anything.

"Goodbye..." I mutter, starting to walk.

"G-Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. (l/n)! Thanks for the food and for receiving me," Gerard calls, the nervousness starting to show when we're about to leave the house. If I were him, I wouldn't even have said anything.

Feeling the cold night air embracing me is extremely relieving. Being away from the two is relieving. I'm still revolted about everything that has happened; it wasn't kind at all. I look at Gerard, worried. "Are you alright, love?"

"Yeah, sugar, don't worry," he reassures me. His words sound empty. I don't question.

Gerard tries to keep the tough posture until when we arrive to his place and we're already in comfortable clothes, lazing around on his bed. He's clearly not fine – you can notice it through how he acts, his glassy eyes, difficulty on keeping his focus... We will talk about it whenever he is ready.

At some point, my phone starts ringing. My mother. I sigh.

"I'll be right back, Gee, my mom's calling." I press a kiss to his cheek then leave the room and the house, heading to the back porch. It will be uncomfortable having anyone else listening to this while Mikey and Donna are also so nice to me.

"(Y/n)," the angry tone comes from the other end of the line as soon as I answer the call. "That boy is terrible. I'm sure you've noticed how we didn't enjoy him any bit. He's stupid, he's just got no future. You deserve something better, my love," her voice softens. "We just let you go over to his place because it would be impolite to not to after everything."

Ah, there it is. The hypocrisy.

"Well, and I'm sure you've noticed that I don't care about what you two think. You liked Gerard and everything I told you about him until you saw him. That's stupid. You guys didn't even allow yourselves to get to know him properly and already got like that." No, I've got no patience to deal with this. I groan to myself as leaning against the railing and observing what I can see of the back garden.

"We know that kind of people, okay? Trust us, you're not gonna-"

I hang up. And set my phone in the do not disturb mode. I'm not listening to bullshit about Gerard while he's so sweet and loving and...

Putting my phone away, I rub my face and try to get rid of the stress before walking back in.

Gerard is startled by me walking into the bedroom suddenly, eyes widening once they land on me while I close the door. It looks like he's been crying; eyes puffy and red, makeup smudged. "(Y/n)," he cries, reaching his arms towards me as I approach, "don't leave me, oh God, I love you so much. Without you I can't-" He interrupts himself with a sob, starting to cry again.

"I'm not going to leave you!" I sit beside him, pulling Gerard for a hug. I wipe his tears away before pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I would never, I've told you! Their opinion about you isn't relevant to me! They don't know you like I do! I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that."

"Sorry," he sobs against my neck, arms wrapped tightly around me like if I would disappear if he let go. "I wish I was different, damn, I'm sorry."

It's always terrible when Gerard's anxiety attacks, but things seem to be going way worse now and I curse my parents for it. They had literally no reasons to have acted the way they did. Even if they dislike Gerard, everyone must be respected. Seeing Gerard like this hurts.

"You have nothing to apologize for," I rub soft circles into his back as continuing to hold him close, doing it for a few moments in an attempt of getting him to calm down. "Gee, Gerard, listen to me," I say once he's calmed down a bit and take a gentle hold of his face, making him look at me. "All that matters is us and nothing more. I don't care if my parents don't approve of our relationship or if the world does, I just care about us, if we are fine. And, of course, if you are fine. I hated that you needed to go through all of this, I'm so sorry." I press a kiss to his cheek, starting to run my fingers through his hair.

"Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault," Gerard says softly. He is silent for a moment before the tears start again and he buries his face in the crook of my neck again, clutching onto me tightly.

"Let it all out, Gee, it'll help you." I comfort him, pressing kisses to his neck and going back to rubbing his back. "I love you, okay? And that's all that matters."

[physicalturian]

[G] Gentle summer - Rengoku Kyojuro x GN!Reader - Part 5

[Contains spoilers from the movie, and the manga] [No pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]

Words : 11 088

Archive of our own

Warnings : none

--- Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 -

What a restless night. After all, how could I sleep knowing all my patience was finally going to pay off today? As I opened my eyes, I could not help but scoff at the first thought that crossed my mind upon awakening in the morning. Was I this far gone when it came down to this man, that he was all I could think of? Of course, I was, I thought humorously. I had come to that realization the day before but did not want to act on it. He had already expressed some affection for me the first moment he had said he wanted to court me. But liking someone was not loving them. Knowing that, I did not want to burden him by telling him I felt something stronger than simply liking him.

But it was fine. It was great. I could ignore it for some time. If - whenwe will come out of this war victorious, I will tell him. For now, I was going to enjoy his presence for a little longer. As I thought that very thought, I turned to the side to discreetly hold him closer but only found an empty futon. Furrowing my brows, I sat up quickly, letting out a sigh of relief at the same speed upon seeing Rengoku stretching in the room. “You’ve awakened! How did you sleep?” Meeting his wide eyes, I stared for a moment before glancing at his uncovered chest then averted my gaze. “It was slightly restless- would you mind covering-“ Kyojuro had this habit of interrupting me, by surprising me. This time it was with his pretty face right in front of mine, grinning.

He was crouching at the end of my futon, his elbows crossed over his knees, “Myself? But I’m working out!” “You are stretching at best, but I would not call it working out,” I scoffed, pushing his elbows playfully as I stood up. His bum hit the floor and he let out a loud huff before laughing beautifully. Thinking he would have caught himself, I apologized quickly and reached out for his hand to help him stand up. While he did take my hand, he did not use it to balance himself onto his feet, instead he placed it on his head, “Help me stretch?” I quirked a brow, threading my fingers through his tangled mane. It took me a moment to reply, I was enjoying the sight a bit too much that I got lost in his beauty.

How could I not? While he was sitting on the ground, I was standing, his eyes looking up at me as he was smiling oh so handsomely. In my head, I could see him smirk as he’d lean over, wrap his arms around my thighs or my knees and pull me over him, burying his head between- “Or maybe breakfast first, you seem a bit groggy,” He hummed as he rested his hands behind himself to stand up.

“No, it’s alright. I will help, what do you need me to do?” Surprised by my answer, his eyes widened as he pried my hand off his scalp and brought it to his cheek, “Thank you! Just gently push my back, if you can,” Nodding, I knelt behind him and placed my hands on his lower back. On the outside, I was composed and unbothered, but inside I wanted to let my hands roam all over his body. I couldn’t care less about the sweat when he looked so good, I wanted to touch him, kiss him, hold him- I wanted him in every possible form. Shaking my head to focus, I started putting some pressure ever so lightly.

I did not know anything regarding the art of massage. Knowing that, I was cautious in my actions. It seemed I was too cautious to his state, quickly, the Pillar pulled my arm towards his back, startling me in the process as he added, “You can push more, I can barely feel it,” With a confused sound, I followed his instructions but not without complaining, “I do not wish to break your back, it would be a shame to lose my date for the festival,” I trailed off, giving a strong push against his lower back, earning a meaningful grunt from the strong swordsman as his hands reached out in front of him to help the stretch. Thinking I pushed too hard, I quickly held his hips to help him lean back. As I did so, he turned around beaming, his back cracking more from the weird angle he was in.

Still in the same spot I was before, I let go of his hips and as I was about to ask him if he was alright, he excitedly said, “You said date!” “Why yes… After all, you are courting me, what else would I call it?” His eyes softened. He turned around slowly before resting his hands on my knees and leaning over teasingly, “And you are courting me,” He countered, his gaze falling on my lips for a brief moment before meeting my eyes. Feeling my cheeks burning up, I turned my head and huffed, “Yes, we have made that clear too. No need to act so surprised-“ The feeling of Kyojuro’s lips on my shoulder made me shut my mouth in a split second.

Without saying anything, I slowly looked at him with wide eyes. He was getting closer and closer to indecency with every passing day. And now, with only hours before the festival, the lion-like man dared once again, his eyes glimmering with playfulness. “Why did you do that?” I asked, covering my shoulder properly as he leaned back. “Because I like you- and I relish in the sight of your flustered face. I am sure tonight it will be even more beautiful, when I grab you by the waist like this-“ He stood up and pulled me to my feet, holding me close to balance my weight, “Then with the sun setting behind us, maybe fireworks-“ He paused, leaning his forehead against mine. “Oh yes, fireworks would be nice, it will make the moments only greater,” Humming to himself, he gently wrapped his arms around my shoulders instead of my waist.

“Do not think of it too much, you might jinx it, Kyojuro. Then again, I hardly think anything could be ruined if you are by my side,” I told him with a short laugh. I could almost hear the way his heart sped up when I said so as he pulled me away, both his hands on my shoulders. He held me there to stare at me, his expression glowing brighter than the morning sun, “That is very kind! You are right, whatever happens, it will be amazing, and we will make the best of it,” He nodded, perhaps more to motivate himself than to agree with anything. “I will see you tonight songbird, would you mind waiting by the main gate? We will go to the village together,” He then pressed a kiss on my forehead before letting me go.

Curious, I started, “The main gate? Perfect, what time-“ He chuckled timidly while running his fingers through his hair, “I have yet to decide the time, I don’t know which would be-“ This time, I was the one to interrupt him by kissing his forehead, “5pm it is then, I hope you are punctual. I would hate to think you stood me up,” Hearing his soft gasp made my smile broaden as I rushed to the sliding door, almost tripping on the tatami from how excited I was. “I will be there at 4!” he called out from inside the room. I had almost closed the door, but peeked inside the room once more, chuckling, “That is too early, although I must thank you for the enthusiasm,” He snorted a laugh in response. I may have heard him whisper something when I closed the door but wasn’t quite sure.

Something along the lines of “Anything for you”, but it could have been my imagination.

“You’re going to the festival tonight!” Echoed in unison the voices of Kiyo, Naho and Sumi. Laughing nervously, I gestured for them to quiet down as I ushered them away from Rengoku’s room. “You three little minxes do not have to act surprised; I am sure one of you heard us the first time we talked about it. And knowing you,” My eyes travelled over their little faces, trying to gauge who was the culprit, to settle on Kiyo, “You must have told everyone in excitement, yes?” Her face slowly turned red, a pout adorning her features. She crossed her arms over her chest and kept on marching towards the kitchen without answering.

“I was only remarking, Kiyo, do not pout like that,” I called out her name with a huff. Once I caught up with her and asked her to stop running away, I crouched in front of her, the two other girls joining us. “It saves me from explaining the story all over again. Now, you can help me get prepared, how does that sound?” Each of the faces in front of me lit up with pure amazement as they nodded in excitement. Before I could say anything else, they grabbed my hands and guided me towards my room. I did not dare tell them I wanted to have breakfast first and break their stride… But my stomach rumbled the moment we stepped inside the room. Sumi spoke up, “Right, we should bring you food first! You slept in this morning; we didn’t want to wake you up…” She trailed off secretively.

“The Fire Pillar had his entire morning work out while you were asleep,” She smiled sweetly, yet her tone made me feel like she had something to add, but I did not quite know what. So, I asked her, putting her under the spotlight. “Is there something you are hiding from me?” She shook her head in response, ready to follow the two other girls on their way out to get some food. Softly, I spoke her name to have her stay and she did. I prodded her to tell me what was happening, and it’s with a big smile on her face that she said, “We don’t have any lavender- The Pillar asked us but we don’t have those… I hope you’ll like the ones he’s going to give you!”

The look of surprise must have been obvious on my face since the younger girl quickly rambled in apology, “I am sorry! I promise he tried to find some- we had to hold him back from going to the village this morning- the ones we picked-“ Laughing nervously, I petted her head reassuringly as I tried to calm her down, along with my fast beating heart. How could I hide the smile forming on my face? How could I go to that gate later in the evening, and not tell him how grateful I felt when I was told he went out of his way to get me some flowers? Before talking about it with him, I had never once given a thought about what my favourite flower was and told him lavender simply for the nice fragrance of it. Whatever he was about to give me, I was going to be content with. “It is alright, I was simply… taken by surprise. I did not think he would have remembered,” I huffed as I sat down on the pillow, ushering Sumi closer while still cooing her and telling her it was fine.

“I must thank you for keeping him in check. I believe it was enough for him to have worked out this morning, if he had gone to the village he would have helped everyone he would have encountered. Not a great way to rest,” I shook my head in emphasis, making the girl laugh when she agreed with me. She nodded enthusiastically, adding that it was what made him so great, a lot less frightening than the other Pillars, albeit loud. She then continued, praising the blond man a bit longer until the arrival of her friends. I enjoyed listening to Sumi rant about Rengoku, it relieved me to know I was not just biased by how bright he made my life; other people also found him to be a great man, no matter how intimidating his boisterous personality was.

When I was told to eat fast, I had to let out a laugh as I put down my chopsticks. “Are you aware it is in a few hours. I have a lot of time to get prepared-“ “That’s always how it starts! Then we are an hour away, and nothing is done- and where is your formal kimono?” Aoi startled all of us when she slammed the door open, clutter in her arms. She dropped everything on the ground, making a lot of noise in the process. Taking a good look at what she had brought, I quirked a brow in confusion, “And… why would you need this? Or this, or even that one in the back?” I asked, pointing at different items. She slapped my hand away, shooing me and telling me to focus on eating. She even added that everything was under control.

“That, I can believe… However, I hardly think we would need all of this, it is a festival. I am not about to go to a ceremony. It is something casual, enjoyable and I need to be able to run-“ With a frown, her expression turned into something almost close to disgust, “Run? Why would you need to run?” Not expecting such a reaction, I snorted a laugh, but not mockingly so. Rengoku was an adventurous man, and an impulsive one too! The latter some would not believe with the restraint he has demonstrated the past few days, at least regarding the courtship. He did have a hard time staying put, but we managed. And, now that he was almost fully healed, thanks to his focused breathing, he could not stay put any longer.

His body, just like his mind, was all over the place. It warmed my heart to see him back to his full self, not that he had changed too much. “Run, yes. Knowing Kyo- The Fire Pillar, if an idea comes to his head we just might make a run for it. Health gives the man opportunities to be more chaotic, and since we’ve kept the lion in a cage for this long, he is bound to go a little crazy when seeing the wild,” I explained, chuckling to myself at the imagery I had set in my mind.

A mischievous smile made its way on the three younger girls in the room as they each brought a hand on their cheek and started shooing at me playfully. “Kyo-ju-ro,” they spelled out, in a sing-song voice. I could only roll my eyes, but there was no hiding the warmth that slithered to my cheeks. Since they were in a teasing mood, I bore through it while eating, giving them some chuckles to show I did not mind. They had a lot of creativity to find verses that rhymed, almost creating an entire tale about the beautiful Pillar and me. I must admit, it was entertaining to have them present a short show in front of me. I almost forgot they were supposed to be teasing me and instead was enthralled in their spectacle.

Aoi was not in a similar mood as mine. The moment I was done eating, she pushed the tray away and started measuring me, eliciting a nervous smile from my person. “Aoi, maybe you should take a breath- I assure you, there is no fuss that needs to be made over me-“ When I tried to put my hands on her shoulders, she berated me without words. Only clicking her tongue against her teeth. Giving her a short smile, I hesitated to ask if everything was alright. My hesitation was long enough for the three girls to leave the room with the trays and empty bowls. When silence settled between Aoi and I, I said her name softly, effectively getting her attention.

“It is just a festival-“ I started. She sighed loudly, her arms falling to her side as she finally sat down. “I am not stupid, I know what’s coming. I know we- you are going to fight Muzan, the corps…” She trailed off, fiddling with the hem of her sleeve. “We are all acting as if everything is fine but we know what’s brewing, alright? It’s not just a festival, it’s- it might just be the last-“ What I said next, I did not fully believe. Perhaps was I trying to convince myself? I did not know, but I did not like seeing her defeated like that. I cradled her face in my hands and huffed a laugh, “We will win, you know that?” A glimmer of hope lit in her eyes. I was doing well enough that she believed me. I hated it, I hated doing so, but she seemed happy with what I was giving her.

“Master Ubuyashiki has put together a plan, we have to believe in him,” I would love to see that plan too, perhaps being invited to the meetings would be even more interesting. But for now, nothing had been shared yet, we were all on stand-by. “And your boyfriend is super strong too, so obviously-“ Giving her a reprimanding look, albeit playful, my lips curled into a smile, “He is not my boyfriend, that sounds childish-“ “Lover then!” She said excitedly, her eyes almost pouring with fascination and interest in my love life. The more I looked at her, the more I thought she wanted something similar to what we had, Kyojuro and I. I assumed it was with Tanjirou, but I did not want to brusque her by talking about it, instead I indulged her curiosity. “Labels have not been discussed yet,” I paused.

With wide eyes, she waited for me to continue. She was trying to hide how excited she was but I could see through her façade, “However, I would not mind calling him my lover,” I confessed, hoping no one else was eavesdropping on us. With the years I have spent in this estate, I was very aware that the walls had ears, those ears belonging to the three mice called Sumi, Kiyo and Naho. But even they knew when to keep their mouths shut. “It is such a cute love story, two idiots longing for each other from afar-“ Aoi started, I bonked her head gently to stop her, “Not idiots, just…” There was a short silence as I tried to come up with another word to describe us but settled on the one she used, “Alright, perhaps we were idiots-“ “Are! You are still- look at you trying to be proper as if you did not want to jump him!”

I was quick to stand up, making her burst out laughing when I said, “I believe this ends the conversation for now, I will see you in a few hours,” Just as I opened the door, I heard a quick scrambling behind as something hit the ground. Upon letting my eyes fall on the ‘thing’ in question, I could see it was Kyojuro, surrounded by the three girls who looked caught red-handed. The man in question had fallen on his derrière and was looking at me with a face bright red and eyes open wide. We stared at one another for a moment, I could not find the strength to be embarrassed just yet. But as I observed his features longer, and his timid smile made its way to his face, I felt my cheek burn up. “Eavesdropping is bad,” I finally stated.

“Well, no eaves were dropped, only I did, spectacularly so, and on the ground!” He nodded energetically, gesturing to himself. Signalling for the girls to get inside, I reached out for Rengoku’s hands to help him up. Before lifting him off the ground, he grinned and asked, “Can I pull you down to me?” I rolled my eyes in response, but agreed, still yelping at the strong pull of his arm as my knees hit his thighs instead of the ground. I was quick to apologize and sat next to him instead. He reassured me, telling me it was alright then observed me for a moment. Not wanting to keep the silence any longer than necessary, I spoke up, “You should not listen in on conversation that are not yours, Kyo,”

He hummed. “You are right! The girls asked me to follow them, they said it was an emergency! It’s alright, I only heard the end,” While his words were confident, I could see his timid expression when he looked to the side. His hand slid to mine slowly, holding it when he articulated, “If you were talking about me, I can assure you that I would not mind either,” He said with a smile, finally looking at me.

Wanting to make sure of what I heard, I inquired, “Tell me, what would you not mind?” Thinking I was going to fluster him even more, I was surprised when he brought my hand to his face and held my palm open there, his lips brushing the inside of it. My heart skipped a bit, it was my turn to feel embarrassed. It was hard to keep my eyes on him when he was acting as such, but I tried my best. His tone then deepened in something slightly sultrier, “I would like to call you a lot of sweet names,” He nodded, his lips meeting my palm as he did so. He left a few kisses on the way too as he trailed higher, to my wrist, “Lover would be the first one,” He hummed, content as he pressed another kiss on my skin before going even higher, sliding my sleeve up as he held my forearm with both hands.

“Then, perhaps, partner…” This kiss had more pressure, it was followed by, “Then if we get married…” While his lips were on my skin, he looked up at me with a huge grin, his breath tickling my hair and sending chills all over my body. “Yes, if…” He trailed off and let go of my arm gently before smiling sweetly, his tone changing to his usual light one, “Oh well, that is a discussion left for another time! Is that not right, love?” I had to cough upon swallowing my spit down the wrong tube. He had said a lot in the span of a few moments, but it was enough to make my heart want to jump out of my chest. The man dared laugh softly as his hand rubbed my back to help me get through. “We’ll work on that,” I ignored his comment and finally got a hold of myself.

Throwing him a glare from up close, I gripped the front of his jinbei and pulled him even closer. “You are not allowed to be like that,” I whispered, not wanting the others to hear. “Like how?” He asked nervously.

I mulled over my words a moment, hot, beautiful, charming, silver tongued, adorable? I finally uttered, “Smooth,” It made him burst out laughing as he made me release his shirt. “We are the day of the festival, there are a lot more things I can do, care to give it a go?” He asked, licking his lips as he pointed at them. I considered it. Dear, did I consider it. But I wanted him to fall first, no matter how soft his lips seemed to be and no matter how pretty he looked while boasting like that.

Strong will, I am strong willed, I can wait a bit longer, I reminded myself. I can even play the game some more, I thought. With a smirk, I brushed my thumb over his lips and leaned in ever so lightly, “Ah yes, that… I am sure it can wait. It would be indecent without the proper courting steps completed; would you not think?” His mouth was now agape as he stared at me with an almost child-like wonder, if not astonishment. We caught one another off-guard often, but this time it felt even better to be able to see each of his features from up-close.

His brows would turn into a confused frown for the span of a second as his smile turned even more lost, before returning to something softer. There was no way to see such a thing, but I could almost see how fast his heart was beating; from the speed at which his chest was rising and the askance look in his eyes as they’d move from my eyes to my lips every so often. Slowly, he smiled more confidently, his mouth closing as he gulped audibly, “Your will is admirable, I will give you that,” Gradually, he sat up properly instead of being propped on his elbows, making me lean back as he tilted his head forward.

“Lavender? Too simple, as beautiful its meaning is and as gorgeous the flower is…” He trailed, his hands meeting my cheek delicately, tracing up to behind my ear. I leaned in, earning a chuckle from the man. “I should find one that means temptation, it would be more suitable, don’t you think?” Humming calmly, he darted his eyes to my hand and brought it to his chest. I was about to slide it under his shirt, confused but eager, nonetheless. He tutted me and brought my hand over the fabric, right above his heart, “Can you feel it?” I nodded, all my confidence from earlier slowly dripping down the drain, I was sure the girls were listening in but with how low we were talking, they could not have been hearing much.

So, I let him do as he pleased. Even a man as loud as him knew when to tone it down, and that’s what he was doing. His voice was lower, yes, but his actions were nothing close to tamed. Warmth was coursing through my body; I would almost feel dizzy from how hot he made me feel if not for the short distance between us. He then chuckled softly to himself as he held my hand close, as if it were the most precious thing he’s ever held. “I am sure if you started singing right now, it would follow the rhythm,” He said about his heart, “Because the emotions you put in your words make my soul sing,” his eyes met mine anew. I wrapped my hand around his tightly, not knowing what to say. He continued, “And your touch… makes my body sing,” my cheeks burst aflame.

That made him burst out laughing as he let go of me when I suddenly stood up, this time, words flooded off my mouth, “It seems it is a draw, once again,” I started, talking about how no matter how hard I tried to get him flustered, he would get me flustered back, “When two predators encounter, they do not fight, they are wary of one another. They have to make sure the enemy does not catch their prey… Little did they know they were one another’s prey,” I scoffed, shaking my head as I helped him to his feet, this time he complied.

“No need for such beautiful words, neither of us is a prey or a predator,” He smiled, his eyes looking behind for a moment before leaning his forehead against mine. With a content smile, he hummed to himself, “We simply are two idiots, and this little game will end tonight,” I frowned an instant, making him panic, “Not in a threatening way! I just really want to kiss you, and I am not waiting longer- if that’s fine with you!” He stammered. The man was deadly on the battlefield, but seeing him like this, all over the place and blushing, was a sight I could not get enough of.

Playfully, I smirked as I whispered, almost inaudibly, “I am more than fine, maybe you should do something about it now. I would not complain,” He leaned back wide-eyed rapidly, then kissed my cheek with an equal speed before stepping back, “A red tulip, definitely,” were his last words before departing and leaving me with the sudden brouhaha the girls behind the door brought upon pulling me back inside. They were quick to flood me with questions, I felt like a ragdoll being pulled by all sides. It took me satiating their curiosity to be able to go on with my life and to start getting prepared for the evening.

As expected, it did not take too long. I was slightly more dressed up than usual, but not enough to make it look out of place. The additional change would be an ornament on my attire that, as the girls said, made my eyes pop. It was comfortable and airy, which would come in handy with the heat that seemed to be rising.

Since I was prepared a few hours early, we played a few games to relax. It took some time to explain Mahjong to the younger girls, but we managed, along with Aoi. While it was fun, we then decided to play some card games instead so that we could stop at any time. Their company was soothing, but my mind was somewhere else, my look kept diverting to the clock as I would check how much time I had left until I had to join Kyojuro at the gate.

The waiting game was entertaining for a few days, but as time went on, I could not hold still any longer. I stood up and waved the girls goodbye as I rushed to the gate, their voices cooing in the back as they called out, telling me to have fun.

It was only half past four when I reached the gate and as I made my way there, I could see a beautiful man pacing in front of said gate. He was dressed in a glorious red and gold attire that suited him even more than his usual red common one. I also noticed how he had tied his hair, an adorable flame-shaped brooch at the base of his hair.

Making myself known, I spoke a bit louder than usual to get him out of his reverie, “You are here early,” I said, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him from pacing. His entire body tensed up before relaxing as he turned around to face me, his eyes widening in pure awe. I felt as much flattered as I did self-conscious, in a good way. “You-“ He closed his mouth and hummed, composing himself. I was not sure of what I was seeing, but there seemed to be a growing blush on his cheeks as he continued, “So are you! It is not 5 already, is it?- In all honesty, I do not know how long I’ve been standing here,” He chuckled nervously.

Tilting my head to the side, I let go of him and playfully said, “Standing? I am sure you have dug a path where you have been pacing,” He rapidly looked down at the ground, all there was, was some dust on his socks but nothing much more. Feeling the need to calm him down, I started, “Please, don’t be nervous- Or if you wish to be, know that I have been thinking about it the entire day too. My hands might even be a bit damp,” I mumbled the last part, wiping my hands on my clothes just in case. It made Rengoku laugh, loudly. Which was not uncommon, but I was almost certain it was the stress leaving his body in the most natural way.

“I have yet to say it since you’ve startled me, would you give me a moment to start over?” He said enthusiastically, leaving me a bit puzzled but I nodded and watched him turn around. His back rose as he took a deep breath before facing me once again with a huge grin and an overdramatized shock, “You are here already!” He winked at me to go along; I couldn’t help the snort that left my nose. “You are absolutely ravishing, yes, yes,” He nodded, his eyes traveling up and down my body to take a proper look. The smile on his face only grew, it was genuine and so sincere I felt my heart stop for a moment as I waited for more.

“You look gorgeous, I could throw every adjective, and none would compare to how beautiful you are,” The heat rising to my cheeks could not be helped, but the attitude I had upon receiving his shower of compliments, could. “You are right, albeit a bit biased and over the top. I genuinely appreciated it,” He was about to tell me it was not over the top, but I placed my finger over his mouth, shushing him effectively, “It is my turn, then we can go,” He blinked a few times, nodding.

I threw a glance at his hair, “You have tied your hair-“ “Yes! I remembered you liked it a lot like that,” He said confidently, putting me under the spot even when it was my turn to make him feel pretty. “Do not dress for me, do whichever you prefer-“ I started, but he leaned in with a mischievous grin, “But then I don’t get to see you trying to be sneaky about ogling me! I’d rather keep the hair tied, and have all your attention,” He stated, puffing his chest out in pride. Shaking my head with a soft chuckle, I was at loss at how to come back to telling him how divine he looked.

Raising my brows to tell him wordlessly that I’d like to continue, he gestured for me to go on, apologizing in the process, “Red and gold suit you beautifully, you look radiant. So radiant you could compete with the sun itself, both guilty of blinding me. One by his beauty, the other by its glow,” Both were also the reason for my body temperature rising, but one would do it on purpose just by unleashing his heart and letting his feelings pour out.

The Fire Pillar stared at me a moment, the tip of his ears reddening, “Thank you!” He uttered loudly. Only two words and he had managed to stammer slightly. "Does that mean you consider me as your very own God of Sun?” He whispered in a sultry tone, making me rack my brain rapidly to remember the time I had told him I would worship him. I was enthralled by his beauty at the time and had let my body do the talking, not my brain. It brought me here, at this very moment, where the man I had praised was now goading, although playfully. I could either take this further or de-escalate it. I chose the latter, “My first offering will be dumplings, would you care for some?”

His face, just like the sky, could show so much. It said everything he was thinking. And as his interest was piqued, the man beamed and took hold of my hand, “Most definitely! Let’s hurry, we should get the best things first, I will treat you!” he then pulled me with him and started running, never letting go of my hand at first until I pulled back and stopped him dead in his tracks. His hair was already disheveled from the short run, it brought a smile to my face as I spoke, “I have a suggestion,”

“You have my undivided attention my love-“ His eyes widened upon letting the affectionate name slip, both our faces heated up. I did not want to let the silence settle and decided, even though I enjoyed it greatly, to ignore it by continuing with what I was about to say. “If we are both wanting to pay for the other, I suggest we settle it by a race. I am sure it is in your chords, even considering your predicament,” I gazed down at his stomach to make him understand I meant his wound, that was now almost fully healed. A determination lit up in his eyes. It was sparked by the simple idea of a challenge, a challenge that Rengoku Kyojuro could not lose. “The first one who reaches the village will be the one to invite the other?” He was making sure of the terms.

Grinning back, I nodded, “On the count of three- when I say three, we start, understood?” His warm laugh reached my ears as he agreed, adding that he will not slow down for me. “I was not counting on it, I have the advantage of being in top shape,” He once again laughed, confidently so, and readied himself for my count. Doing the same, I lifted the fabric above my knees to be able to run properly and started the count, “One,” his gaze was focused ahead, his mind was already on the race, “Two,” Something was odd with how confident he was, and I realized it upon saying, “Three,” he disappeared out of my sight in the span of a second.

Blinking a few times, I barked a laugh and shook my head a moment before starting to run to the village. Of course, he would do that, I was the fool for not giving clearer instructions. It was obvious that he was going to use his focused breathing to be faster, but I had not given it a single thought since I was too caught up in the moment. I could not be mad at him, but I could ask for a rematch, not that he would accept it. This run gave me some time to reconsider my life choices for a while; The first one being suggesting a run in a kimono, the second was having chosen a smart man to race against. The first one I regretted, it was cumbersome to say the least and made me want to rip the side of the fabric, which I did not. The second one… made the moment even more memorable.

Once I arrived at the village, music was flooding my ears, drums and laughter too. I could feel the vibrations coursing through my body. People walked by, holding their children’s hand or their lover’s, some in small groups of friends.

Lost in the sea of people, I watched them all in awe, along with the beautiful lights that lit up the place, I felt like a child again. The loud voices of the stand owners could not bring me back to reality, but the close voice of Kyojuro did. He said my name softly, startling me in the process. I swore under my breath in panic, shocking him. “You can swear!” “Because you startled me-“ Facing him suddenly, I grabbed his hand in mine to stop him from getting engulfed by the crowd.

“That was cheating,” I said with a smile, making him grin wide, “Now we are both guilty,” He hummed, leading me away from the crowd so that we could talk more calmly. Huffing, I could not believe he accused me of such a thing, but still asked, “Are we both, now?” It turned his smile into a smirk.

Humming playfully, he looked around then set his beautiful gaze on mine, “Need I remind you when you kissed me through your sleeve, songbird?” Mouth agape, I stood in front of him speechless. He was right, not that I wanted to hear about it.

Sighing in resignation, I raised my arms, shrugging. “It is fair, we are even now, I suppose,” I trailed off with a laugh, but Rengoku was not exactly agreeing yet.

“If we stick to details,” He started in a strong voice, pulling me towards him as his free hand placed itself on my lower back, “You lost our little game at that moment, which means I could kiss you right now,” His tone was mix of flirting and being oblivious on purpose, I could not quite tell. All I knew is that his chest against mine felt warm and comfortable, and perhaps that I wanted to hold him closer. But I did not move, I simply smirked at first, “All I hear is that you are trying to find a shortcut to this courtship- I do believe one step is missing, would you not say?” Was what I added.

Oh did I love to see his eyes widen in surprise, even if he was quick to get a hold of himself and turn the situation to his advantage. “What if I did?” Was all he said. With just that, I had to do a double take. He then gently led me against the tree trunk behind, my back hitting it and making me understand I could not back down. Although he was not blocking me in any way, I could tell him off if I wanted, but did I want to? “Because I really want to kiss you right now,” He breathed, his nose brushing against mine, “But I am also craving dumplings right now,” he huffed a laugh, his breath caressing my lips while his mouth did not.

In awe at what he just said, I was about to speak when a small voice was heard nearby. A child, asking his parents about us, about what we were doing. I quickly, yet gently, pushed Rengoku away and grabbed his hand to pull him towards the festival instead of staying out of the festivities. “Then we shall get dumplings,” I chuckled, in false confidence. Why was I embarrassed of being caught so close to him? We were both adults, it was normal. Perhaps it was the shocked look of the parents? Offense was written all over their face, but I shouldn’t care…

“Was that the man who saved that old lady a few months ago? I did not know he was so indecent, he seemed so kind-“ I heard them say when we walked past them. Indecent? How so? Nothing suggestive had happened, if we had kissed they could not say much about it. Lovers did that often, why would it be bad for their child to see it?

As I questioned their attitude, Rengoku let go of my hand and stopped in front of the family. “Hi!” He started, they returned his greeting albeit confusedly. “I don’t believe anything indecent happened, can I not kiss my lover on this beautiful day? A festival makes it even more special; don’t you think? Shaming people for being affectionate is a sad thing to do,” He explained, his voice strong like thunder and unmoving. He was in no way filled with animosity, no. He was being genuine, and that’s what made those people uncomfortable. Gesturing to my form, the lion-like man asked them to apologize, which they did so begrudgingly before leaving. The child happily smiled our way and waved at Kyojuro as he was tugged closer to his mother.

When Kyojuro joined my side once more, he instinctively held my hand and started walking towards the festivities. I was the first one to speak. “It was very kind of you, I do still feel a bit embarrassed. Even if there is no reason for me to be, we did not even kiss-“ “That we did or not, it does not matter! I will not tolerate anyone being ignorant and judgmental over such futile things,” He stated confidently, his eyes set ablaze by how much it seemed to mean to him. A short smile made its way to my lips while I looked around to stop it from growing wider, but it did not help. The Fire Pillar noticed and with a curious look, asked me what I was smiling about.

“You. You are making me smile. I really like how determined you are, it is endearing,” I trailed off before adding, “You have a way of making everyone feel special, it feels nice,”

A weak “oh” left his mouth. It was followed by his face reddening when he beamed at me, laughing nervously, “You are special to me, more than you think. I am glad you feel that way,” Enjoying the comfortable silence that had settled after his words, we walked through the crowded path until we finally reached a stand that sold the dumpling Rengoku was looking for. His eyes lit up in a child-like wonder when he saw how good they looked and tugged me closer to him when he approached the stand. “Shall we get the caramelized one? Oh! Or these ones!” He pointed at another batch, “Vegetables or meat? They all look so good-“

Laughing loudly, I called for the cook and asked him if we could get two of each sort. Thanking us, he nodded and started preparing everything while making small talk. He ushered us to sit under the open tent, “Please, take a seat, everything will be ready in a few minutes,” returning to the food, he greeted more people. When we sat down, a younger girl rushed to our side with two cups and a bottle in hand, “Sake?”

“Gladly! Thank you, young lady,” we both nodded to thank her as she scurried off. Some people were already loudly drinking around us, it was merry and familiar. It made it hard to be heard over their boisterous laughs, leaning over the table, I spoke clearly, “If you do not like some of yours, I will eagerly take them,” I said with a huffed laugh. “They do look good, don’t they?” He said enthusiastically, glancing behind to look at the food, almost drooling.

The food looked good, yes, but so did he. His neck looked so slender in this angle; it was on display with the way his hair was tied. Even with the few wild strands, it looked appropriate and made him so beautiful to me. “I could not agree more,” I said, my eyes focused on him. When he turned back to look at me, I suddenly looked around and quickly said, “I can hear a troupe playing the shamisen somewhere, we should take a look afterwards,” When I glanced back at the ginger in front of me, he was grinning broadly, his elbows resting on the table and his face cradled in his hands. “Should I take that as a yes?” I asked, knowing full well what he was doing. If I play along, he might not say anything.

“Definitely, yes. But you could also take- my hand?” He reached out over the table for my hand, his palm pressing on his cheek making his smile look a bit odd. I complied with a stupid smile. “Do you think there is a painter somewhere? We should get a picture together,” He pondered out loud, “Maybe we should ask-“ “That way you will be able to look at me all day without having to act as if you weren’t!” Why did he say it so innocently? Was it on purpose? Was it to make me flustered? If so, it worked. Tightening my hand around his, I rolled my eyes and focused my gaze on the cook instead of the gorgeous swordsman in front of me.

“Look at me,” His voice rang sternly. Taken aback by his tone, I met his bright eyes rapidly, “There!” His voice had returned to the sweet, loud, one I was used to, oh so quickly. “You can look, ogle, gaze,” He let go of my hand and spread his arms wide, almost hitting the plate the cook was bringing in the process when he said, “I am yours!” he hastily apologized to the man and distanced himself slightly from the table to let him put the plates down. “Enjoy the meal,” the cook bowed before returning to the kitchen where the younger person from earlier had started helping him.

When I returned my gaze to the table, Rengoku was waiting, holding out a dumpling between his chopsticks with a cute smile on his lips. Doing that gave me the opportunity to ignore his sweet ‘outburst’, but for a moment I considered not doing so. Then again, what was one supposed to say when being “I am yours”?

“Take it! You should have the first bite, it is a consolation prize,” His tone ever so loud and determined, he opened his mouth for me to do the same. Clearly, he was not planning on stopping until he had fed me, so I leaned in and took a bite of the dumpling then sat properly on my chair once more. “Is it good!” He asked. No answer was needed; the moment after asking, he brought the other half to his mouth and ate it, humming loudly before exclaiming, “Delicious!”

The whole scene elated joy in me, I couldn’t suppress the snort that escaped from my nose. “It is, we should taste the others,” Thus I ignored his confession of belonging to me. I did not know what to do about it just yet but wanted to say something, anything, to match his energy. Instead, we changed topic and ate happily, enjoying the food as more people gathered under the tent to take a break from the festivities. Half-way through the meal, Kyojuro asked to hold my hand once more. I had to argue that he would not be able to hold his chopsticks if we did. He was holding out his dominant hand and it required promising not letting go of it once we are done, to have him accept to not hold hands the entirety of the meal. When it got too crowded, we brought the plate back to the cook and Rengoku paid for everything before taking my hand and leading us away.

“Should we first find the troupe or find a painter first? With a bit of luck, the painter is close to the troupe!” He exclaimed, pulling me different ways in excitement. His mind was all over the place and I liked seeing him like that, it felt comfortable to know he was enjoying himself, even if he was agitated. “I think it’s this way, I can hear it-“ Pulling him in the proper direction, I was pulled the exact opposite way, “Then let’s go the other way, no need to rush,” He said softly, tugging playfully.

Quirking a brow, I used my other hand and pulled with more force, “That way is the fireworks viewing, it has not started yet. We have time, as you said. So, let’s find a painter,” He seemed surprised and pleased at the same time. Following my footsteps, he did not say much at first, until he had gathered his thoughts once more and uttered, “You have strength, I like that,” “I tugged you, because you are wild. It hardly is a display of strength,” I replied quickly. I almost bumped into by someone when marching ahead, when Rengoku pushed me aside and then stood behind me. Not saying anything about it, he continued the conversation as he let go of my hand and instead placed both of his on my shoulders, “I think it was very…” His tone dropped, making me think he was not going to say ‘cute’.

With his face right next to mine, we kept walking as he confided very suggestively, “-Well I think we should train, just you and me, that is all,” His attention was then turned to the attractions around the square, that is how we then spent a few hours trying a few games that had been set. No prize had been won, but we each made one another a good luck charm at one of the stands. Mine was slightly more appealing than the one he had made for me, and I made sure to tell him. He argued it was one of a kind, which was correct. They both would work the exact same amount anyway, and I liked having the weight of his charm in my pocket. Laughing it off, we walked about to find the most important thing we wanted to do tonight.

Humming a moment, I did not have time to ponder it more that he squeezed my shoulders and turned me suddenly, “There! Found a painter, shall we go?” I was pulled towards the woman sitting on the stool in front of an easel, a beautiful paper resting on it. She seemed to have been scribbling on the side as she waited for people to come by. Most of the street was empty, probably due to the people having left to have dinner or have a drink between friends.

I was not even walking with Rengoku at this point, he was simply pushing me gently towards her with a huge grin on his face and his warm hands engulfing my shoulders. Peeking his head from behind my shoulders, he called her out confidently to get her attention. She was startled by our presence, perhaps also by the loud man that had interrupted her, and almost dropped her charcoal but caught herself. At first she apologized, then she gestured for us to sit. There was a bench in front of the easel, but it did not seem like we would both fit.

Rengoku sat first.

Then he patted his thighs excitedly, “Come! We have to look our best- you do already, but do I look-“ “Good, yes, you do. You look presentable and a bit disheveled from our run earlier, but it adds to the charm,” I chuckled as I tried to tame his hair, he placed his hands on his knees and did not move while I tried my hardest to get his hair to look like something. He was patient, for now. And still. When I let my eyes drop on his, he smiled genuinely but stayed silent. The painter did not pressure us to go faster, and I think I heard her laugh gently when Kyojuro whispered, “You really do not have any bad angle, you look kissable from here too,”

In shock, I dropped my hands on his shoulders and gave him a warning look, albeit it perhaps looking like a panicked one. “Let us start,” I said in a hushed tone. He burst out laughing and pulled me closer while I was still standing up, his hands holding my lower back. He was clearly hidden by my form and yet he loudly said, “We are ready!” It made the artist laugh as she sat properly on her stool, softly telling us it wouldn’t work. With a nervous chuckle, I told her we knew and tried to get away from the warm man in front of me. Determined to keep me by his side, he helped me on his lap and wrapped his arms around my stomach this time.

My back was against his stomach, and his chin was resting over my shoulder. Not knowing what to do with my hands, the artist stood up from her seat with a smile and took my hands, placing them onto Rengoku’s. “There, you two look very cute like that,” She said. When she met my gaze, there was some sort of mischief somewhere behind her eyes. Not the malicious type, but the one that you seemed to have when you shared a secret with someone.

Shortly, she began drawing, her eyes darting from the paper to us, many times. She had to remind the Fire Pillar to say put since he would sometimes start playing with my hands. It made my heart beat so fast, I was wondering if the woman in front of us could see how flustered I was. “This is so great, I cannot wait to see how it’ll turn out,” He whispered, keeping a huge smile on his face. I was half tempted to laugh at how tense he looked, talking through gritted teeth almost, from keeping the smile up and holding a conversation with me. “What are you doing?” I whispered back, only parting my lips a little to let my voice out.

One of his hands had let go of mine and was now grabbing my thigh. “I don’t know what to do with my hands,” He replied, chuckling. “Do you not believe my thigh to be an improper spot to let your hand wander to?”

The artist must have heard us, she chuckled charmingly as she threw us a bright glance, “I can assure you, whatever happens here stays between us. Adultery, sex workers, older people with younger ones, I have seen everything,” It made Rengoku laugh loudly as he moved his hand from my thigh and placed both his hands on my cheeks as he spoke and explained we were making our coming together official tonight. He added that I was simply being playful with his actions, then in a very low tone, barely above a whisper he asked me, “I won’t do it again, I apologize, I did not mean anything by it-“ I bumped my head against his when he let go of my face and mumbled, which was uncommon for me, “I do not mind, if we are alone,” Grabbing his hands, I put them back where they were when we started and continued, “Hold my hands while the lady finishes this, would you please?”

Enthusiastically agreeing, I froze when he pressed a kiss on my cheek before positioning himself exactly as before. This time we were more relaxed for some reason, the artist must have noticed; I could see the content smile on her lips as she focused on her art.

If I had not been requested to keep that very position, odds are that I could have fallen asleep. The comfort of being in the arms of the gentlest person I knew, feeling not only his welcoming aura but the kindness he breathed, it all made the position we were in more intimate. My heart was soaring. I did not want it to end.

Just as that thought crossed my mind, the woman in front of us stood up and showed us the final work. I barely had time to look at it when Kyojuro’s eyes widened in bewilderment and happiness. Compliments poured from his mouth as he praised the hard work of the painter. She was all over the place but tried her best to stay humble. It looked gorgeous indeed, the details made it all the livelier, even more so with the use of colored pastels to bring out the fiery tone of the Pillar’s hair.

Giving her the required sum, Rengoku rolled the drawing and slid it inside his Kimono. Before leaving, the woman grabbed my hand and handed me a folded paper, grinning, “Here, you took some time getting him ready- I scribbled something. It is not as detailed as the final product, it is a cute scene,” Nodding, she hurried back to her seat when another group of people joined her stand and called for her.

I was also called by my name by Rengoku. He seemed in a hurry, so I quickly slid the paper between the layers of my Kimono and joined his side, breathing “I am here,” before being pulled by the man again. He was screaming something over the crowd, but I could not hear what he was saying, only that a big smile was adorning his features and that he was hasting himself. Apologies flooded from my mouth when we kept bumping into people, but there was also the biggest grin on my face as I did so. I couldn’t help but laugh at how wildly he was zigzagging between the masses. His hand was holding onto mine for dear life the entire time we ran.

It was when he finally let go that I realized how tightly we were holding hands. We were both out of breath, but I was the only one who was now leaning forward, my hands resting on my knees for balance. “We have arrived just in time!” Rengoku breathed out loudly, gripping my hands once again to guide me closer to the edge of the cliff where we could see a lot more of everything; forest, village, horizon, everything. I almost fell forward from his sudden hold, but caught myself and gasped at the view in front of me.

I was out of breath, but I couldn’t help but hold my breath at how beautiful everything looked from up here. The village was not only lit from the usual lights, but from paper lanterns people had lit and small campfires that had been started. I could even see a man-animated dragon crossing the streets. Children were petting it, adults were cheering to it, I could see everything. “It is stunning, how did you find it?” I asked Kyojuro, talking about the spot. The man was also in awe, but not at the view. At me. His eyes were riveted on my person. I looked at him only slightly confused about his slow reply, but he then said, “It’s always been there,” His tone made it sound like more was being said “I am quite lucky to have found it, too,” He added.

His hands slid up my arms slowly. Shivers ran down my spine from how cold and dark the night had gotten. Or was it thrills? My mouth felt dry, my throat tight, my hands were freezing and clammy at the same time. “It is quite the find, I’ll admit. I don’t really want to share it,” He shook his head, making a disgruntled noise as if talking to himself. His face was getting closer and closer, I leaned in too, “Are we still talking about the spot-“ Interrupting myself, I turned towards the fireworks that had started. It was beautiful how the colors painted the sky, the roaring as it exploded filled my ears and I was drawn to the patterns it drew in the darkness up above.

Amidst my child-like wonder at the fireworks happening right in front of me, I heard a loud laugh next to me as Rengoku rested his forehead on my shoulder and started laughing. A smile made its way to my lips, it was contagious, how happy the man could make anyone. I asked him what was going on and he turned me around to fully face him, his eyes wrinkled at the corner from how big he was smiling. “I was trying to be romantic and you-“ He rested his forehead against mine, his hands cradling my face, “You are so beautiful, but I really wanted to kiss you and fireworks caught your attention better than my words could,” he huffed, a mix of nervousness and embarrassment. Joy seemed to be coating his voice too.

Mirroring him, I started laughing too, “I am sorry- it is just so beautiful,” I explained quickly. We were surrounded by both the cicada sounds, the thumping of the explosions and the percussions of the drums down in the village; And yet, I could hear how loud my heart was beating, if I paid closer attention I was persuaded I could hear his, too.

“Now that I have your attention, can I kiss you?” His eyes pleading, kind, loving.

“Are we not missing a step?” I whispered teasingly, making him make a sound close to a whine. “Alright, close your eyes!” He said quickly. The warmth of his body close to mine disappeared for a moment, then it came back just as fast when he told me to open my eyes. There he stood with a poppy flower in hand. It was as fiery as his hair, but nothing could match his beauty in my eyes. “I have forgotten your bouquet at the estate, I can only hope this will suffice- if not I will run back there and come back-“

Grabbing the poppy, I pulled him closer and cradled his face in my hand, tilting it towards mine, “Absolutely, it suffices, it works, it is perfect, all the steps have been fulfilled, can we kiss now? I do not wish to wait any longer, nor do I want to-“ Cutting me off, Kyojuro crossed the distance between our lips and crashed his lips against mine. My hands gripped the hem of the collar of his Kimono, his thumbs were on my cheeks while the rest was behind my ears. He was holding me steady, but both of us were leaning against the other; desperate for more, more touch, more intimacy, more passion, more of one another.

We needed to breathe, and the opportunity came shortly after when we heard it.

Our crows.

His, screaming for him to return to the estate.

Mine telling me to run to the entrance of the village where necessities were waiting for me for I was being sent away on a mission.

Confused, we asked what was happening and were informed that the swordsmith village was being attacked and that the Pillars were to return quickly to help. Being a simple Slayer I was sent on a gathering mission to bring back recruits that hadn’t come back yet and to find information on something I had yet to know about.

I tried to argue that I wanted to help defend the village, but my crow kept repeating the order it had received over and over again. There was nothing I could do.

Nodding, we both accepted our orders. Our crows departed soon after.

“It feels like a farce,” I scoffed, reaching out for Rengoku’s hand. “Please be careful,” I whispered, not looking at him.

Not having it, he walked to stand in front of me and kissed me deeply one last time. I returned it desperately, a mix of sadness and content filled the kiss. Love being the main ingredient. “Come back to me soon, I cannot defeat Muzan without you by my side, my love,” He smiled, brushing his nose against mine before pecking my lips one last time.

“Please, do not die,” I breathed.

“I will most definitely not, I plan on retiring after all of this,” He chuckled, caressing my hand before letting go.

Did he believe those words? I did not have time to ponder that we parted ways, both off to our designated missions.

[Part 6]

[sondepoch]

Part 1

Paramour (Diavolo x Reader)

You love Diavolo. And Diavolo loves you. But in the Devildom, relationships aren't as straightforward as that—and Diavolo being the future ruler of the Devildom certainly complicates things. So when you learn that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, a human, you're overjoyed. Yet, there are still issues. Big issues. Diavolo wants you to be his paramour—whatever that means. But you want to be his wife. And with each passing moment, it's beginning to feel like even love can't bridge the gap between your worlds.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ✔

MASTERLIST

Tonight will be a night you will never forget. And not just because this is a party that only happens once every one thousand years, or because of the stunning decor of the castle, or even because of how radiant you know you look in this dress, hand-picked by Diavolo.

No.

It is a night you will never forget because tonight will be the night Diavolo proposes to you.

You smile softly, remembering how you'd slipped out of the prince's arms this morning to surprise him by dressing in his shirt—something you'd learned early on that Diavolo absolutely adores—only to find a gorgeous ring in his pocket. As soon as you opened the velvety box and caught a glimpse of the diamond jewel, you'd shut it, not wanting to ruin any more of your surprise.

But you haven't been able to keep a smile off your face all day.

"Are you enjoying the party, darling?" Diavolo asks when he comes up from behind you, running his fingers up and down the length of your arm, another habit you'd learned that he enjoys. "Why are you hidden away on the balcony like this?"

"The sky is too beautiful to miss," You remark. You lean into Diavolo's arms and look up. Back home, you'd thought that the most beautiful sky belonged to the night: when stars rise to decorate the carpet of black draped above like gemstones woven into silk. But after coming to the Devildom, you'd found that the true sight to behold was a Devildom sunset: a sky redder than blood but brighter all the same, orange and yellow stars flying across in a perpetual state of movement and change. And tonight, there's a spot of carmine in the center: a vermillion scar that peels back at the sky itself as a comet drags on by.

"Truly beautiful," Diavolo murmurs in agreement, though his eyes are latched onto you as he says the words.

You let out a light giggle, knowing the real meaning to his words.

"Is this what you do every morning when you escape my arms? Watch the sunrise like this?"

"What else?" You murmur. Though this morning, you'd done a little more than just that. You turn and face Diavolo, cupping his cheek as you give him a chaste kiss. The fabric of your dress is thin, and you try to drag your body close to his to see if you can feel the outline of a ring anywhere on his pockets...to no avail.

"My love, how would you like to see sunrises and sunsets like this forever?" Diavolo murmurs, lacing his fingers in yours. He pulls your gaze up to meet his own with a single finger under your chin. "For tonight and all nights to come?"

A smile blooms on your lips.

You already know what is happening.

Diavolo pulls away to kneel on one knee, never letting go of your hand. He gives it a sultry kiss and looks up at you, eyes locked onto yours.

"MC of the human world, mortal of our immortal love, would you honor me by being at my side?" Diavolo smiles. "From now, until the end of time?"

"Yes," You whisper, breathless. Unable to pull the demon lord up (goodness, with those muscles he's easily double your weight), you lean forward and thrust yourself into his arms, wrapping your limbs around him tightly, basking in his laugh as he returns the embrace.

Is this heaven?

You're grounded in hell, but the happiness flooding your body seems to be lifting you into an entirely new state of being. Your stomach literally feels like it's on fire, burning bright with excitement for the future. It's as if your life has changed with these words, and as if you're no longer just MC, but MC of MC and Diavolo. As if, with that proposal, the demon has made himself a part of you.

And the sheer joy of getting to share your life with another is all you need to be happy forever and ever.

This feeling is so much better than you'd thought it would be.

You knew he would ask, but hearing the words leave Diavolo's lips gave them a different weight than simply seeing a ring in a box. Where is the ring, anyway? Oh, Diavolo probably wants to give it to me later. You push the thoughts from your mind and hold him tighter, and the prince smiles. 

Still wrapped around his body, Diavolo rises and places you on the golden balustrade, admiring the sight before him.

"Thank you, my love. You truly are...perfect." Diavolo murmurs, giving you a kiss. From there, he trails to your neck, going lower and lower. Occasionally, he stops to give a spot of skin a tender suck, but as soon as a moan leaves your lips, he's reminded of his goal and continues downward until his head is directly between your thighs.

"D-Diavolo," You murmur as he presses kisses to the skin. "People will see."

"Let them," He mutter, leaning forward and ravishing you as if you're his last meal. It only then strikes you that Diavolo had planned this. All of this.

You smile as you lean your head back, letting your moans add to the noise of the chattering from within the castle. Such a perfect man, you realize. He'd known you would say yes, of course. It was probably at his instruction that Mammon had chased you to this balcony in the first place. Diavolo had probably even selected this dress because of how it gave him access to the warmth between your legs that he loved so.

"P-people," You stutter out, voice broken by pleasure. "G-going...to stare..." You thread your hand in Diavolo's locks, weakly trying to pull his head away, but in truth you don't want him to stop. A demon who's lived for literal thousands of years, Diavolo knows his way around your body better than you do, and he's always been able to bring you to paradise. Especially with that tongue of his.

"Let them stare," Diavolo mumbles as climax washes over you. "You're mine. All mine. My paramour."

At the back of your mind, something twists at the word. Paramour? Perhaps it means something different in the Devildom. But before you can think more about how humans consider a paramour to be more a mistress than a lover, Diavolo's lips are on your own and all your thoughts drift back to him.

"Shall we return to the party, darling?" He asks. Diavolo smiles his usual teasing smile, instantly back to normal. He winks, acting as if he hadn't just done something horribly indecent where any passing demon could have seen.

"Yes," You mumble, taking his arm. As he guides you back to the ballroom and invites you to dance, you can't help but feel like things are different now. My lover. You recall his words. From now, until the end of time.

Another wave of glee washes through you.

"I love you," You murmur as the waltz slows. Diavolo gives you his usual Prince Charming grin, spinning you in time with the music.

"And I love you," He steals a kiss from your lips. "You're so perfect, MC. I never should have been worried. Everything about you is just so...perfect."

"Aw, were you worried that I wouldn't say yes?" You ask, swaying with him. You bring the hand resting on his shoulder to his cheek.

"Only a little," Diavolo confesses. "I wasn't sure how you'd feel about this whole situation...I know it's different from what humans are used to."

"Different?" You laugh. "Even dating you was different from what humans are used to, given that you're—you know—a demon and all."

"But you love me anyway~" Diavolo cooes.

"But I love you anyway," You agree.

You two must dance for hours, merely waltzing back and forth. All around you, the couples change, stepping on and off the dance floor, but you and Diavolo remain. Arms around his neck, head resting against the firmness of his chest, you two are swaying more than you are dancing. Holding each other, more than you are moving. Loving, more than expressing.

The moment is so delicate. Truly precious. Untouched even by time, as the grandfather clock indicates that another hour has passed.

But like all good things, it too comes to an end.

"Now that you're my paramour," Diavolo murmurs softly, causing your ears to perk up. There's that word again. "I only have one other thing to do. Excuse me, my love."

You give the man a kiss on the cheek as he guides you off the dance floor, leaving you with Lucifer. The two of you busy yourselves with a glass of wine—Diavolo had brought champagne to the party specifically for you.

"It's not bad," Lucifer remarks. "But I must say that I prefer our Devildom alcohols more."

You laugh, taking another sip of your wine, continuing to make small talk with Lucifer. It's been a while since you left the House of Lamentation to come live with Diavolo, but there are more than enough times when you miss the chaotic demon brothers.

Unbeknownst to you, those two minutes while you chat with Lucifer are perhaps the last minutes to true happiness you feel for a very long time. You'll later wish you'd savored the moment more as you spoke with the demon, a small smile on your face with your mind half-lost in thoughts about the future you and Diavolo would be embarking upon. It's a moment of contentment, a moment of peace.

But blissful as it is, it's also a prelude to what must be true misery.

Because all good things must come to an end.

And this day has been far too good.

Or—later, you might realize—perhaps the entire day had been bad, with yourself only being too foolish to understand it? Perhaps this whole thing was, in truth, nothing but the calm before the storm?

Whatever the truth may be, the fact is that the moment you lay your eyes upon Diavolo, you're shattered. And with each word that leaves his mouth, you find your heart breaking into smaller and smaller pieces.

"Honored guests and friends alike, I have an announcement to make." Your eyes widen. At the top of the staircase from where Diavolo had begun the party, he now stands in his demon form, arm-in-arm with another demon. A woman. An exquisitely beautiful one, at that.

"The time for my coronation as king of the Devildom nears, and a king is nothing without a queen beside him. So it is with utmost esteem that I ask this question to my lady."

You watch in a queer mix of pain, confusion, and anger, as Diavolo drops to one knee in front of the woman. You want to close your eyes, want to look away. You can feel Lucifer's gaze on you, watching to see your response, but you can't bring yourself to care. Your mind is a mess. What is going on? You wonder as tears threaten to leave your eyes. Why is he proposing to another woman?

And then you see a shine in his hands as he opens a black velvet box, the very same box you'd opened this morning; and in this light, with this decor, the ring seems to glisten even more beautifully than the stars in the sky that you love so. "Would you, my fair lady, honor me by being my wife? From now, until the end of time?"

And at this moment, when you're positively certain that your heart cannot break any more, you feel the final blow come: with the soft but clear "yes" that echoes through the hall.

Then, chaos.

That's the only word for what happens next.

Chaos everywhere.

All around you, demons cheer and begin whooping in celebration for what they just witnessed. But at the same time, their haphazard chanting can't begin to compare to the distressed frenzy that your mind is in as you tear your way out of the hall, ignoring Lucifer's desperate cries of your name.

Only once you've found shelter behind closed doors do you allow yourself to give in to your emotions. You drop to the ground, clutching it for support when it feels as if the very foundation of your spirit has been ripped out. All you can think about is the image of what just happened: Diavolo, on one knee in front of another woman, holding the ring that you had thought was meant for you.

The only thing that drowns out your broken sobs is the sound of demons as they cheer and laugh, congratulating their lord for his new engagement.

***

Diavolo should have known better.

That's what Lucifer says, at least.

"Did you not account for the fact that she has no understanding of our customs, Diavolo?" The demon practically shouts, causing the prince to flinch. Diavolo is beyond used to Lucifer's wrath, but he's accustomed to seeing it directed at others. Never himself. And on any other occasion, Diavolo would have sharply reminded Lucifer of his place. But as the younger demon continues to rant angrily, even Barbatos stands silently, knowing full-well that Diavolo deserves every bit of it.

"And you! You're the prince! You've been a demon for thousands of years, you know what human customs are like! Their obsession with commitment and having a single spouse is one of the very reasons why they've always believed our polygamic traditions to be evil! No self-respecting human would ever agree to be a paramour—does MC even know what a paramour is?"

Diavolo looks away, shame flooding him. He's never felt this way. He's the future king, for crying out loud. "I had assumed that it was a part of RAD's curriculum. I thought it was all covered in Demon Studies."

"Diavolo," Lucifer begins, pinching the spot between his eyebrows. "The curriculum is designed for demons, not humans. Demon Studies isn't about demon culture, it's about demon history. Important wars. Famous battles. Reputed commanders. Major e-"

"Yes. I get it, Lucifer." Diavolo puts a hand up, silencing the man in front of him. "What's done is done. I know you are upset with me, but we have to figure out what to do about MC."

"My lord?" Barbatos interrupts. "She still hasn't left her room. She isn't responding to my knocks, either."

"Has she escaped?" Lucifer asks, startled.

"No," Barbatos pauses for a moment. "But unless my lord does something, she plans to."

"Thanks," Diavolo mumbles sarcastically, resting his forehead on his palm. Twelve hours ago, things had been going so well. MC had actually agreed to be his paramour—or well, now he knows that she thought he was asking her to be his wife, goodness—and he was finally free to propose to the powerful she-demon that he'd always intended on marrying. And of course, the demon had said yes, and Diavolo's life couldn't be more perfect: he had his wife, his future kingdom to inherit, and his paramour.

And now he's lost the single most important thing from that list.

You.

"I'm going to speak to her," Diavolo blurts, rising. "I need her to understand what I was proposing...and what her new role is. The moment she said yes, she was bound to me by contract. She has to at least try to understand-"

"Diavolo, you can't possibly expect that the contract properly formed under those circumstances."

Diavolo quiets Lucifer in an instant, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal the tattoos that covered his lower body. To anyone else, little change would be noticeable. A prince, Diavolo had been blessed hundreds of times over, and thus had a plethora of protective spells materialized on his skin. But to his right-hand man, who knows Diavolo better than the prince perhaps knows himself, the new tattoo stands out: a small design, just above the V that dips beneath Diavolo's pants.

"The contract...actually formed?" Lucifer mutters in disbelief. "Diavolo, these aren't the standard characters of paramour contract. The markings read 'true lover.' Surely you understand that it is a warning of—"

"It means that MC is my true lover," Diavolo interrupts before Lucifer can dirty the meaning with any other notion. "And that I am hers. If I have the mark, she has it as well. The gods of hell have recognized our union."

"My lord, what if she does not wish to be yours?" Barbatos ventures. "She is a human, after all. They are known to be fickle. And paramour is not a word they consider positive, by any means."

Diavolo doesn't respond. Like his events, his plans are reckless and more driven by emotion than logic and reason.

MC will understand, won't she? Diavolo tries to console himself with the thought. Your understanding and compassionate nature was part of the reason why Diavolo fell in love with you in the first place. You'll understand. You have to.

Diavolo doesn't know what he'll do if you don't.

***

Since coming to the Devildom, you've felt a lot of things. Excitement, at the prospect of new classmates. Frustration, at the antics of your roommates in the House of Lamentation. Worry, when you grew intimate with Diavolo and had to keep it a secret. Happiness, when the two of you decided to finally announce your relationship. And sadness—lots of it—after the events that transpired yesterday.

But this is the first time you've felt such fury.

"You're telling me," You mutter, too livid to even look at the man you'd once been proud to call your lover. "That when you proposed to me yesterday you were asking me to be your paramour? And that by accepting, I gave you permission to take another wife?!"

"Not another wife..." DIavolo trails off, not meeting your gaze. But when he sees you clench your fists and grow even angrier, he's quick to continue. "She's the only one! I won't take any other wives!"

"Does it make a difference? It doesn't matter if there's one other woman or one million in your life. How do you expect me to be okay with this? Why would any woman be okay with this? Who in their right mind would consent to being a paramour?! A paramour is just a glorified concubine—you keep her in your castle because you love her, but she's not good enough to be by your side and be called your 'wife.'"

"No, no, no." Diavolo stands up and forces you to meet his eyes, forces you to see how sincere he is. But somehow, the fact that he genuinely believes that the concept of a paramour is even okay only further enrages you. "Wives and paramours are different, you can't compare them. I know it's different from the human world, but in the Devildom, all the little girls grow up wanting to be paramours. A paramour is special. A person takes a paramour only out of love, not for her last name or her rank or her title. It's the better one. A wife is just someone who bears children. Nothing more. As soon as I have an heir, I won't even need to think about my wife! It'll just be you, my sweet, sweet paramour, and—"

"How can you truly love me if you have children with another woman? Don't act like a wife is nothing special. There's a reason why we in the human world say that the most sacred bond a man and woman can have is that of a husband and wife. You've chosen this woman. You want her. For her looks, for her nobility, her title, her—"

"Her fertility," Diavolo interrupts. "That is all. She bears our relationship no harm."

"You're asking me to be a glorified concubine." You repeat, scowling. "A mistress. The other woman."

"These are human concepts you're bringing in, dear," Diavolo murmurs. "You are my only love. And...MC, you physically cannot be my wife. You..."

You narrow your eyes, daring Diavolo to finish that sentence.

And foolishly, he does.

"You can bear me no children."

You raise your hand, poising it to slap Diavolo across the cheek, when you hesitate. Why? Why should you waste a single second more on this man who would never be fully committed to you? He's already made it clear that he won't be canceling the engagement he has with his future wife.

And you refuse to be any man's side piece.

"Get out." You scowl.

"MC, please, you know that I—"

"If you won't get out, I will."

Before you can leave the room, though, Diavolo has pulled you into his lap. "Let go," You hiss, thrashing in his arms. But the man is a demon, future lord of the Devildom, and is truly the strongest man in the entire kingdom. And you're just a human. Faced with his strength, you're nothing.

"Darling, please. Please. Just let me speak. Give me one minute. That's all I need. One minute." Slowly, you cease your movement. It's a silent indication that, yes, you'll give Diavolo a minute to speak. But no more.

"Darling, I love you. You are everything. I love you so much, and when I asked you to be mine...I truly thought you knew that I was asking you to be my paramour. I am sorry for the distress I have caused you these past hours." Diavolo places a soft kiss to your neck, letting his lips lay on what is normally your weak spot. But when you don't respond, he opts to continue.

"But there's something you need to see. A...a proposal to a paramour in the Devildom is sacred. I know you don't see it that way, but it is even more sacred than a proposal to a wife. And...it's viewed as a contract." Diavolo slowly lifts the edge of your shirt up. Your hands instantly go down to cover yourself, not wanting to give the demon a chance to give you any pleasure that might distract you from your current anger, but then you see what the man must have been trying to show you.

"How...?" You ask, and for the first time today, your words aren't coated with rage as you speak.

You pull yourself out of Diavolo's lap and go to the full-length mirror, raising your shirt higher on your stomach. You remember last night, when you'd felt a burning sensation over your stomach after accepting Diavolo's proposal. You'd thought the feeling to be a part of your happiness at being (you thought) Diavolo's wife, but now it becomes painfully obvious that it had been something else entirely.

There, on your lower abdomen, just above your underwear line but below your belly button, lies a delicate symbol. You squint at it, running your fingers over the mark—but the ebony black characters feel like they're a part of your skin, as if they've always been there.

"I have one to match," Diavolo says with a smile. He unbuttons his shirt and approaches the mirror, standing next to you. "Mine says 'true lover,'" He murmurs into your ear. The proximity makes you shudder, and you have to remind yourself that you're angry with the man. But as he lifts your shirt above your shoulders, shedding his own top in turn, you find that whatever emotions you were feeling before have been replaced with a new sense of longing.

"I'm still angry." The words are more for you than they are for him. It's as if saying them excuses how responsive you're being to Diavolo's touch as he strokes your sides.

"I know you are," He mumbles, kissing you.

"I'm not okay with being your paramour," You continue, only to be met with another 'I know' as Diavolo's lips ghost over your neck.

And as he gives the sensitive skin a tender suck, you can't help but lean into his arms for support, even as he continues to trail lower down to your stomach.

"I love you," he mumbles into your skin, licking the spot where your body is branded with the mark of the paramour. He leans back to admire the character.

And that's when things go downhill.

"Diavolo?" You ask, cupping his cheek. "What's wrong?"

You flinch as the man's grip around your waist tightens, watching in confusion as he stares daggers into the spot on your stomach that he had been gazing at so tenderly before. You see his eye twitch before he abruptly stands up and begins dressing himself.

You watch in disbelief. Diavolo's expression has changed completely, unwilling to meet your eyes and practically ignoring you.

"Diavolo, why—"

"MC, please be quiet. You wanted to be left alone? Very well, you will be left alone." Diavolo is now scowling as he buttons up his shirt, not even bothering to wear his cape as he makes for the door.

"Wh-what happened?" You ask, pulling on his sleeve. It's a futile attempt. The man is double your weight and over ten times as strong, but he humors you and stops before the door. "Diavolo, please. What did I do? Are you angry?"

"MC," Diavolo speaks, not facing you. His tone is dark. "It's best for the both of us if you are not with me right now."

He yanks his sleeve from your grasp, slamming the door shut in your face as he storms out, leaving you an even bigger mess of emotions than when he walked in.

You slowly make your way to the mirror, staring at the character on your stomach. You can't read what it says, but something about it seemed to anger Diavolo. After nearly half an hour of being more furious than you've ever been in your entire life, you know that the dark emotion Diavolo was trying to hide was rage itself.

But what could have made him so angry?

You stare at the spot on your stomach, before frustration begins to amalgamate once more. What right does Diavolo have to be angry with you, right now? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

Right, you remember. When he kissed you, it was so easy to forget that he was asking you to be his paramour, his trophy-wife-that's-not-even-good-enough-to-be-a-wife lover. But now?

You scowl into the mirror, crossing your arms.

Diavolo can be angry all he wants.

His fury won't change yours. And I'm justified in my anger, you think, before a knock breaks you from your thoughts.

Not even bothering to wear your shirt, you march over to the door. This had better be Diavolo, ready to apologize, you think, before swinging it open.

But the face that greets you is smaller. Shorter. Olive eyes and mismatched hair, it's Barbatos who greets you.

"My lady," He murmurs stiffly. For a millisecond, his eyes dart down to your body, and his eyes widen in surprise. You're not sure why the demon butler looks so startled to see your exposed stomach. Demons in the Devildom have little sense of shame when it comes to nudity, as you'd learned from Lucifer's and Barbatos's utter indifference to constantly walking in on your nude form during nights with Diavolo. If anything, you're more covered than usual.

"No need to call me that, Barbatos. I'm Diavolo's secret lover. The only 'lady' you'll be needing to bow to is that wife of his," You sigh and leave the door open, a subtle invitation inside.

Speaking with Diavolo did quell most of your anger. Talking to Barbatos can't hurt, right?"

"If my lady wishes for me to call her MC, I shall," Barbatos says, shutting the door behind him. "But don't delude yourself into thinking that you're Diavolo's secret lover. A paramour is respected more than a wife, here. The whole realm will know you: face, name, history. It will be an honor."

"It will be a humiliation," You interrupt. You throw your shirt on, beginning to rant. "The whole realm will mock me: the prince's concubine. His whore. The idea that I'm not good enough to be his only lover is an insult. A paramour is disgusting and—"

"Then perhaps someone else is better suited for the role?"

You stop, pondering the words.

Barbatos looks at you with one eyebrow raised, gaze unwavering as he sees into your soul. You want to look away, want to ignore him, want to act as if that one question isn't the very conflict you've been torn over.

But you can't.

Diavolo has made it clear that the only way he'll have you be his lover is as his paramour. And every fiber of your being refuses to be paramour to a man who has a separate wife. So that truly only leaves one option, doesn't it?

"I don't have any other choices, do I?" You say dryly, realizing the nature of the situation you're in.

"If you cannot be his paramour," Barbatos agrees. "You cannot be his lover."

You sigh, leaning back against the bed.

It's been dwelling at the back of your mind for hours, but now as the truth begins to unshroud itself, you find the decision at the forefront of your mind.

Perhaps someone else is suited for the role, you think. Against your will, a memory of Diavolo's soft reddish locks flashes through your mind. You've always loved to play with them, and the demon lord always let you. He'd let out a gentle hum as you'd massage his scalp, a smile tugging at his lips as your fingers would lose themselves in his hair.

Perhaps someone else is meant to be Diavolo's paramour.

Another memory jumps into your thoughts, an image of the two of you dancing in the ballroom. Despite the situation, you smile at the thought. Diavolo adores dancing with you. It's his favorite thing to do: a respite from the daily struggles of the Devildom. There hasn't been a single week where he hasn't invited you down to the ballroom at least once. Even if there's no party, he would lead you into the hall, casting a cassette to play for you as the two of you danced the night away.

Perhaps I can never be the woman he needs me to be. The paramour he seeks.

A new image comes to mind, more recent. Diavolo's sleeping face. Normally, you would take to admiring his body in the morning, running your hands over his muscles and abs and sometimes the sensitive organ between his legs - but that morning, you'd been drawn to his face. The face of the man you loved. The face of a prince.

And slowly, you realize the truth.

The face of the man I cannot have.

"You're right," You say to Barbatos. Your voice is barely a whisper, but the butler seems to have heard you all the same.

You cannot carry the weight of being Diavolo's paramour. You're too human. It conflicts with your nature too much. And just as the relation Diavolo sought from you is too horrid for you to bear, the relationship you seek from Diavolo is one that's too far from the demon lord's customs.

He'd told you this when you first kissed him: that a human and a demon have no place together. Much less, a human and the ruler of the Devildom.

At the time, you'd only smiled into his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck for more.

But now those words have hauntingly returned, more true than ever before.

A human and a demon have no place together.

And you and Diavolo are no exception.

"I'll help you move your things into Purgatory Hall. For the remainder of the exchange program, you'll want to be there." Barbatos turns, walking to the door. "I'll leave you to inform lord Diavolo of your decision."

"Wait!" You blurt before you can stop yourself, grabbing the demon's wrist.

He turns to you, expression nonchalant. His gaze is normally intimidating, but as you stand before him all you can think about is the pure apathy in his eyes: now that you've decided to no longer be his lord's lover, he truly does not care about you.

But you won't let that stop you from asking.

"I...Diavolo said that the symbols on my stomach are characters. For words. What..." You trail off, trying to find your courage. "What does it say?"

Barbatos steps toward you, lifting your shirt with his left hand. A gloved finger traces the dark markings, and he begins speaking.

"This is the mark of the paramour. On most, it'll just be the character for 'lover,' but sometimes...in truly special instances, there'll be a description character as well. Diavolo's mark reads: true lover."

"What does mine say?" You whisper.

Barbatos brushes the mark with his thumb, his touch oddly gentle as he strokes the branded skin. His eyes never leave yours, and you think that it's a gesture of kindness until you catch the glint of morbid cruelty as he watches your reaction to his next words.

His gaze bores into you, staring past your eyes and into your heart as he shatters it with the truth.

"False lover."

MASTERLIST

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ✔

Word count: 5.5k

Notes: Ive had this idea for diavolo since the day i opened this game, and i finally got around to writing it x3 its a lil angsty right now, but it gets better~ happy endings here, promise <3 im expecting this to be either 2 parts MAYBE 3, so stay tuned :D

Comment & Like

Next Update: 4/28/20

I do not own the rights to Obey Me! or any of the characters within it.

[saltys-writings]

Yuqi | The One You Need [M]

(G)I-dle - Yuqi x fem. (bi) reader

Fluff, Smut

Dom!Yuqi

Warnings: NSFW

Words: ~2.3k

Desc.: You’re in love with a guy from your college club, but for some reason your best friend Yuqi despises him. And apart from her jealousy, there might be another reason for that too...

It’s the night you’ve been waiting for for weeks. Every last Friday of the semester your club from college holds a huge party, going out to eat and drink together, and to just destress together until well into the night. You know from last time that these kinds of parties usually end with a few very drunk people, and also one or two new couples who finally manage to confess their feelings for each other thanks to the alcohol giving them some courage. And this time it’s you who wants to try her luck.

There’s this guy you’ve been liking for quite a while, and since you’re both members of the same club tonight is the perfect time for you to finally ask him out properly. You’ve been on dates before, but somehow you were never really sure if they counted as dates or not, because you did couple activities, but no stuff like holding hands or hugging. And to be honest this guy just confuses you, so he consumes all your thoughts from dusk till dawn, and to finally clear up that confusion you decided you’d confront him tonight.

Yuqi knows that. She’s one of your best friends and somehow you always come to her first whenever something troubles you, and it isn’t any different this time. She knows your thoughts and feelings about him by heart. And despite her sometimes seeming sceptical of him, she willingly helped you with getting ready for tonight and picking out your best outfit, helping you do your hair and giving you advice on your makeup.

“Are you sure about this?” Yuqi stops you before entering the restaurant where you’d celebrate together.

“About what?” you ask, smiling back at her. You try to seem as calm as possible, because you feel like she won’t let you go through with it if you show even the slightest hint of feeling unsure.

“About asking him out.” In her eyes you see an angry gleam, but you choose to ignore it.

“Come on, he isn’t that bad,” you say over your shoulder before entering together with her. “You just don’t like him.” She doesn’t say anything to that. Not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but because you don’t let her. You hold the door for her and attempt to help her take off her jacket, but she’s already doing it herself. However she wordlessly takes yours from you and puts them both on a hook together. From the frown on her face you can tell she doesn’t like the situation, but upon entering the room booked for all your club members she fakes the best smile she can muster, and greets everyone happily. Except for your crush that is, who gets nothing but a cold stare. You sigh at her childishness, making a mental note to talk this through with her later on. Why can’t she just accept that you like someone she doesn’t? Why can’t she just cheer for you rather than trying everything in her might to chase him away from you?

After those thoughts slowly leave your head and you enjoy the food and the first few rounds of drinks, the party has become rather enjoyable for you. And Yuqi too, who’s sitting closely next to you, not leaving your side for even a moment, finally let go of herself a bit, now laughing and chatting merrily with the people around her. Truthfully spoken that sight makes you feel happy and also very relieved. If you’re lucky you won’t have to fear any more interruptions from her tonight.

The night goes on and people start leaving the table more often only to come back with that bashful look on their faces that tells the others they just got real lucky, or there’s also one or two people who came back with smudged makeup and puffy eyes because apparently they got rejected. Seeing the young woman who still continued crying and being led out by her friends eventually makes you feel especially scared of facing the same fate as her. You know you have to make your move soon if you don’t want your courage to leave you, and when you see your crush getting up and exiting the room in the direction of the washing rooms, you seize your chance. However, before you can jump up and follow him, Yuqi rises from her seat instead.

“Where are you going?” you ask her, feeling a bad premonition creeping up to you.

“The bathroom,” she answers briefly, and before you can question her or respond she already walks away, wearing a stoic expression. Doubt washes over you, so hesitating for a few seconds you decide to follow her in the end. 

You too slip through the door of your room and find the corridor where one door leads to the male toilet and the other to the female one. And there you also find Yuqi, a slight panic in her eyes as she places herself in between you and the two rooms.

“Let’s go back,” she says, but you don’t listen.

“Why? He’s here isn’t he?” you ask. “I’ll just wait for him to come out and then tell him how I feel.”

“No, I don’t think you will…” she says with force, her voice deeper than usual.

“Don’t be like this now, Yuqi,” you protest, feeling yourself getting frustrated with her yet again.

“Trust you me, you don’t want-”

“Stop sabotaging me just because I’m in love with someone you don’t-” You cut her off, but your voice fails you instead when the door to the women’s toilet opens and your crush stumbles out with another woman in his arms, kissing her passionately, but tearing himself away as soon as he realizes they’re not alone anymore. You can’t believe your eyes, and despite the alcohol offering somewhat of a protection layer to your feelings, your heart drops and pain spreads in your chest, creeping throughout your whole body slowly. You can’t say anything. All you do is stand there and stare, unsure if you’re more sad or more angry or more disappointed in yourself for not trusting Yuqi the countless times she warned you about him. And then she throws him a glare over her shoulder, grabs your hand, and leads you outside.

“We’re going home,” she says, then adding, “My place.”

She shoves you into a taxi like the lifeless shell you are from the shock, and because the ride to her place isn’t very long, you’re almost there when you begin to realize what just happened and the tears are starting to build up in the corners of your eyes. She holds your hand for the entire ride, though she dares not to look at you. Not that you’re focusing on anything but the seat in front of you either. When you arrive at your destination she leads you up to her flat and against your expectations she doesn’t comfort you. Instead she just stands there, her back turned to you and her hands having formed fists.

“I’m sorry-” you whisper weakly through tears, when she abruptly turns around, grabs you by the collar and kisses you. You’re taken by surprise to say the least and your eyes open wide, and when she releases you a few long moments later, you can’t do anything but blink at her in confusion. Still without saying anything, in contrast to her usually so talkative self, she grabs your wrist and pulls you in the direction of her room, where she turns on the bright lamp that ends up blinding you. Using that moment of you letting your guard down, she pushes you down on her bed, now hovering above you. Through her dark brown bangs you can see the glare in her eyes.

“Never talk to that guy ever again.” Her words are demanding, and when she lowers her head to bury her face in your neck you can’t do anything but whimper. You feel her soft lips trailing kisses down the side of your throat, that feel like a mixture of gentle and rough, and without thinking you let your emotions take over your body. Your hand finds its way up into her hair, pulling her closer to you and you shut your eyes, but open them again quickly when the images from earlier appear in your mind.

“I can’t believe he would do such a thing,” you mumble, tears welling up in your eyes again. Yuqi lifts her head.

“Look at me, Y/N,” she orders, locking eyes with you. “He isn’t here. All that’s here is me and you.” Lowering herself again, she adds, “I’m all you need.” And then she kisses you again, moving her lips gently against yours, but it doesn’t take long for her to become more demanding, and the way soft moans escape her time and time again make you feel like you’re starting to lose your mind. Her hands start to wander over your body, pulling up the shirt she lent you, and not hesitating to push your bra to the side as well, starting to knead your breasts as she forcefully breaks the kiss to let her lips wander down your jaw instead. You whisper her name as you get drunk on her touch over and over again. She’s right. There’s really only you and her here.

Pulling the shirt over your head and unclasping and throwing your bra to the side, she kisses her way down your upper body.

“I love you,” she breathes in between kisses. “I’ve loved you for so long, Y/N. And I can’t explain how painful it was to watch you chase that asshole and ignore every single one of my warnings.” Frustration takes over her for a second and she bites the sensitive skin on your chest, nibbling on it when you let out a groan from the sudden pain. She quickly goes back to kissing though, tending to the spot she just hurt carefully to make the pain go away, and then when she feels the tension leave your body again, she works her way further down and over your belly. As she arrives at the hem of your pants she crawls down onto the floor and onto her knees, undoing the buttons calmly, even though you can see the hunger in her eyes. She throws you a look to check if you’re about to protest, but when all you do is lick your lips she pulls down your pants and throws them to the side. Now the only thing that’s left between you and her is the thin fabric of your underwear. She lets out a breath that’s shaky from expectation, and after whispering again that she loves you, she starts kissing your stomach and thighs around your core. You sink your fingers into the bedsheets and crumple them up, bucking your hips in an act of desperation.

“You want me?” she says, lust reflecting in the tone of her voice. You nod. “Then tell me,” she says, and you can feel her warm breath just where you need her the most right now.

“Yuqi, please…” you whimper, feeling a mixture of adrenaline and shame rushing through your veins. “Please show me you’re the only one I need.” A spark flashes in her eyes, and without another word she lets her knuckles brush over your core and you clench your thighs for a second, but release the tension right after. She removes the last piece of your clothing and kisses her way from your inner thigh to your core, and you feel yourself getting dripping wet from the expectations alone. 

When you finally feel her lips reaching your clit and her tongue licking your slit in a painfully slow manner, you can’t keep a moan from escaping you, and your chanting her name is no longer just a whisper.

“Keep saying my name, princess,” she urges you on and pushes a finger inside of you, curling it once to hit that sweet spot that makes you arch your back and let out an uncontrolled sound.

“Yuqi…” you moan. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t stop,” she assures while adding another finger and curling again, causing the same reaction as just now to happen again. “Not until you came all over me.” She keeps moving her fingers inside of you, making you bite down on your lips hard, but in the end nothing can keep your voice from getting louder and louder as you beg her to keep going while moaning her name over and over again. And when you think you can’t take it anymore, you beg more desperately.

“Please, let me cum,” you whine, and with a smirk she starts licking your clit in quick motions, sending you over the edge within seconds. She hums in satisfaction as she feels you clenching around her fingers that don’t slow down until she’s sure you’re done, and she lets you ride out the last waves of your orgasm still staying inside of you. 

When you lie beneath her, having turned into a panting, sweating mess, she licks her hand and your core clean, giving you another aftershock when her tongue accidentally pushes your now very sensitive clit too hard, and then she lies down beside you, wrapping the free part of her blanket over your naked body to keep you warm.

“I didn’t know you felt like this about me,” you say when you finally caught your breath, but she shakes her head and shushes you with a soft peck to your lips.

“Let’s not talk about it anymore,” she whispers. With that she pulls you into a safe embrace and you bury your head into her chest, taking in her sweet scent. You feel how drained of energy you really are and you weakly hug her back. Right, you think, how could I have ever wanted anyone else when the one I need the most was right here all this time?

[bluesfortheredj]

Modern Romance - Epilogue.

Smut ahead.

“Gwil, I can’t do this, I can’t cope,” she sighs, her voice on the verge of cracking with tears.

I can hear our son in the background; his cries coming across loud and clear as if it were him on the phone instead.

“It’s as if I’m not good enough, I’m not you. He doesn’t want his mum, he wants his dad.”

“Don’t say that, he doesn’t want me! He wants you, the person who gave birth to him.”

“He always calms down when you soothe him. I’ve tried everything; his nappy is dry, he’s not hungry, he hasn’t got wind… I don’t know what else to do,” she sounds empty, completely drained from a sleepless night and day.

I’ve only been gone 48 hours and she’s been up for most of those with our little one. I should be there, I say this too many times in our relationship, but I’m out in Europe filming and absent for more important moments as usual. I didn’t want to leave but in all honesty we need the money now we’ve got a tiny human to feed and clothe, and with (Y/N) on maternity leave it’s a struggle at times to make ends meet. Our little Leo is only six months old and it was the toughest decision to make but (Y/N) encouraged me to take it being as it’s only four weeks, despite being apprehensive about being left on her own with the bubba.

“Put me on video,” I instruct, needing to see her face.

It feels like Australia all over again and I might as well be the other side of the world with how isolated she must be feeling right now. She does as I say and now I can see the sheer exhaustion on her face in the suddenly harsh light of our lounge; she’s pale, there are deep dark circles underneath her eyes, and she looks completely beaten. Leo is screaming in the rocker next to her, one of her feet still managing to try and soothe him in spite of the fact that her whole body was now weak with tiredness, and I have to force a reassuring smile.

“He will not. Stop. Crying,” she sobs, “the neighbours must think something terrible is going on in here with the way he’s screaming. I’m an awful mother, I can’t cope being alone with my own child, I-”

“Shh,” I hush, “you’re doing a brilliant job under the circumstances. I should be there to help, there’s absolutely no shame in struggling on your own with a new born! Just look at me… look at me a second… just breathe okay? Take some deep breaths. That’s it. In… and out. Now you’re gonna pick up Leo and do the same okay?”

I’m clutching at straws, I have no more of an idea of what to do than she does, and I’m just making this up in the blind hope that it’ll go some way to calm the two of them down.

“Maybe do the skin to skin thing?” I add, knowing that we were told how it can help with bonding in the early months.

She nods slowly, stands the phone up on the coffee table, undoes the top few buttons on her pyjama shirt, takes one last deep breath, then picks up Leo from the rocker and carefully tucks him inside the clothing with his little red face still crying out for something unknown. I nod and smile as she looks to the phone screen for reassurance, then she wipes her tears away and starts to take deep breaths once more while her finger tips massage Leo’s scalp gently while he cries into her neck.

“You know him better than anyone on this planet,” I remind her, “you nurtured him for nine whole months and made sure he came into this world as safely and healthy as he could.”

Her eyes close as she begins to hum a song and she nods along to what I say until finally those screams begin to fade and I watch as his tiny chunky arms reach out to (Y/N)’s skin and rest upon it as if hugging her. The humming stops and I soon realise the two of them are now asleep in front of me, but I stay on video for another twenty minutes just to watch them both and take in the sight of my little family snoozing happily without me there. Leo stirs a little, his eyes opening slightly to look up at his mum, then he nuzzles into her neck with a yawn and he’s soon off to sleep again before I manage to end the video call.

Everything had been quite the rush since I proposed over a year ago; we had a small wedding ceremony at a country house in the middle of nowhere when she was six months gone with only the closest family and friends being invited, and we chose to forgo a honeymoon in favour of going away after the baby arrived which obviously did not go to plan because babies are notoriously good at messing up plans; it’s lucky they’re so bloody cute. And Leo… well, he’s the cutest of them all, not that I’m biased in any way obviously, but he is definitely the most gorgeous baby I’ve ever laid eyes on, and the most perfect mix of (Y/N) and I with his tiny button nose and piercing blue eyes. It’s funny how you imagine having the perfect little family and yet somehow the reality isn’t as easy as you think; sleepless nights, sick down every top you own, explosive poos in almost every colour of the rainbow, pee on your face if you take the nappy away too quickly… it’s really quite fascinating how much a small human can impact on your life. (Y/N) is a born mother but it hasn’t been easy adjusting to this new way of life for either of us, and I know that this is such a huge step to be left on her own with Leo for so long, and I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to do it, I know that for a fact.

“Gwil!” (Y/N) whispers excitedly when I answer her video call a few days later, “look!”

She switches cameras to show me a sleeping Leo in his cot then backs out of the room and turns the camera on herself to show me a relieved smile on her still slightly sleep deprived face, “it only took a week,” she sighs.

I smile, yet still feel sad that I’m not there to help out, “I’m sorry,” I exhale with a shake of my head, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she reassures, “if I can get through the last week without tearing my hair out then I can get through anything, right?”

“Exactly,” I nod, “you’re the strongest woman I know.”

“I’m nothing without you here.”

“Shut up,” I scoff, “don’t be ridiculous. Now remind me, when are your parents getting there?”

She looks down at her watch briefly, “in about an hour.”

“Good, and did the shopping get delivered alright?”

“Yep,” she nods, “got about 20 packs of nappies now which should last at least a couple of days,” she laughs.

“How’s his poo doing?” the conversations we have these days really are quite unexpected.

“It’s looking more human and less glowing alien goop, so it’s going in the right direction!”

“Oh thank god,” I sigh, “I could not cope with the…” I pause as I almost gag at the thought of what I used to find in his nappy, “yeah… that.”

She laughs at my reaction; a laugh that I hadn’t seen since before I left, and I melt into the seat at the desk in my hotel room at the sight and sound of that beautiful response. It was like cool rain after a sweltering summer’s day, having a mug of hot chocolate while underneath a blanket in winter, or the pure, ecstatic relief of coming home after weeks away. She’s home to me; I don’t even need to be in our house as long as I’m with her and now little Leo as well.

“What are you thinking?” she hums, seeing me drift off to a place with her.

“I’m just-”

Leo’s scream comes across loud and clear on the phone and she sticks out her bottom lip as far as it will go before knocking the back of her head on the wall behind as she tries to muster up some energy to deal with the impending situation.

“I love you, bye,” she sighs, ending the video call just as I open my mouth to reply.

“Love you too,” I say to the photo of us dancing at our wedding that makes up the background on my phone.

I spend far too long looking at pictures on my phone these days, although it’s getting increasingly harder to find the ones of us alone through the many rapid shots of Leo doing completely mundane things like giggling, waving his hands about, sleeping, eating, bathing, and most probably pooing in at least fifty percent of them. I have to scroll for a while before something other than our little man appears, and I end up going all the way back to the first photo I ever took of (Y/N). It’s just as magical as the day I took it; the soft glow of the rising sun illuminating the outline of her body in our bed. Because now it is our bed. The bed we’ve made love in countless times, the bed we’ve both cried in, comforted one another in, laughed until we’ve almost wet ourselves in, and the bed our baby was conceived in. The first thing I do when I get home is take her to bed, as long as Leo can give us five minutes that is; I think I’ll have to call in reinforcements, aka grandparents as childcare.

-

I try to squeeze through the crowds at the airport as quickly as possible so I can jump in a cab and get home, but these people will just not move. My frustrations grow with each person that bumps into me, and I’m a grumbling mess when I finally get outside the prison that is Heathrow, especially when I see that there are no taxis in sight thanks to the mass influx of people tonight. It’s a nightmare and the cheerful and relieved mood I was in when we landed has been stripped away bit by bit in the last half an hour. I finally find myself a cab and pop earphones in for the relatively quick journey considering London traffic, then I breathe a sigh of relief as I arrive home and walk up that familiar path. The door flies open before I even get to the mat and I drop my suitcase and bag as (Y/N) comes running out to greet me, flinging her arms around my neck and almost knocking me over with her enthusiasm. Now I’m really home.

“I missed you so much,” she quietly sobs into my shirt.

“I missed you more,” I whisper back, tears rolling over my cheeks, “are you okay? Is Leo alright? Where is he?”

She pulls away and I wipe her tears as she hangs on to my coat, “please don’t hate me but he’s with my parents until tomorrow…”

My face lights up at the thought of having (Y/N) all to myself again if only for 24 hours, and I can’t help but let out a relieved laugh, “how could I ever hate you? I get you alone for a whole day and we can pretend we’ve got no actual responsibilities. I couldn’t love you any more if I tried. Now come on, we’re having sex in every room.”

I take her hand and pull her inside the house to the sweetest sound of her laughing behind me, and I sit her on the stairs before running back out to grab my luggage. I drop it all in a pile in the hallway before I kick the door shut behind me, then she stands up on the step she stood on the first proper weekend we spent together and we recreate that kiss; the kiss that cemented us as a couple despite there being no labels at that point as we stood in our pyjamas ready for a night of nothing in particular.

“I completely and utterly adore our little Leo, but my god I’ve been aching to have you all to myself since he arrived,” I admit breathlessly, barely parting from our kiss as my hands wander her body unsure of where to stop these days.

“I know,” she nods as her lips move along my jaw lazily, “it’s just you and me until tomorrow night my love. Let’s not waste a minute.”

My eyes roll into the back of my head at those words and she pushes against my chest as she steps down from the stairs, then in a flurry of discarded clothes, wet, messy kisses and bumps into walls, doors, and furniture we somehow end up in the living room with me sat on the sofa and my beautiful (Y/N) bouncing up and down on my lap. I’ve missed this, I’ve missed her, I’ve missed the feeling of being so intimate with the one I love, I’ve missed her body and all the beautiful little changes it’s made to carry and nurture our son. I look up at her in both awe and pure pleasure to see her gaze focused on me and we meet for a sloppy, teeth clashing kiss while our bodies move together as one for the first time since our bubba came along. I’m first to orgasm, with her following shortly after, and we lay in a tangled, naked mess along the sofa as we catch our breath once we’ve finished. Our bodies are stuck together with the thin layers of sweat that coat both of us and the only sound is our breathing as it transitions from pants to soft breaths.

“Pasta?” she eventually asks.

“I fucking love you,” I reply.

She gets up with a grin and I study every inch of her body as she looks around for something to cover her, then I realise just how much it had changed during the pregnancy and the last few months and it’s a bewitching sight to see.

“You look incredible,” I admire, leaning up on one arm as she slips my t-shirt over her head.

“Urgh,” she groans, “I’m fatter than ever, my nipples are so painful, the stretch marks have spread, and I can barely get control over my bladder. I look far from incredible.”

I furrow my brow at her and sit up, “I mean it; you’re absolutely stunning. I hadn’t realised just how much your body had adapted to having our little one but it’s amazing to see, and you’re just as beautiful as the day I met you, if not more.”

“How is it you can still make my knees weak with mere words?” she blushes, backing out of the room to sort out some food.

I dress… well, I put on my pants and the jogging bottoms I wore on the journey back, then join her in the kitchen and it’s as if we’re back to those first couple of months again; the silliness, the passion, the carefree nature of us both, and it’s just as intoxicating now as it was back then. I know it’s completely selfish but having her attention on just me again is what I’ve been craving since our little muffin came along, and I’m sure that this will satiate my need for at least another six months. To be honest, I think she needs this just as much as I do; she’s had a tough month being on her own with Leo and playing both mum and dad while I’ve been away, and now she can have a well deserved day off from it all.

Our day is filled with delicious food, laying on the sofa and watching a whole television programme without being disturbed by cries, getting lost in one another with endless kissing and touching, and we make love two more times with one in our bedroom and the other in the kitchen. By night we don’t even want to go to sleep for fear of missing a second of being with each other, but we soon have to give in to the utter exhaustion of being awake for so long, and we huddle up together for a peaceful nights sleep.

“Morning,” (Y/N) whispers softly as I blink into the light of the room.

“Morning,” I reply groggily, trying my best to sit up.

“I have a confession to make…”

“Go on.”

“I phoned my parents this morning and they’re bringing Leo back in an hour. I loved our time together, it was perfect in every way, but my god am I missing that little sleep stealer!”

I let out a chuckle at her confession, “me too. It just wasn’t the same watching almost a whole series without one interruption. I miss cuddling him in one arm and trying to do something else with the other.”

“Well, it’s official… we’re proper parents now.”

“Yep. Undoubtedly so!”

She slips under the covers and cuddles into my side, running her fingers through the hair on my chest softly, and we both close our eyes to savour the moment before begrudgingly getting up and dressed ready for the return of Leo.

“Thank you,” I say as we spot her parent’s car pulling up outside.

“For what?” she frowns.

“Sticking with me, making me a dad, being my rock… the list goes on.”

She places a hand on my cheek and kisses my lips gently, “you big softie. You’re stuck with me anyway,” she winks.

The arrival of Leo at the door is signified by one of his giggles, and (Y/N) runs to open it and take our son in her arms with me following quickly behind. He wriggles against her and soon starts grabbing at her to get as close as humanly possible to his mum as she peppers his head with kisses while she carefully rocks her body soothingly.

“Daddy’s home!” she whispers excitedly as she passes him to me and ushers her parents into the lounge.

He grumbles a little, having to get used to smelling his dad again after such a long time, but he soon settles and overall seems pleased to see me thank goodness. I rock him in my arms as (Y/N) goes to make the tea and I stand in the kitchen doorway looking between the two loves of my life and completely taken aback by how lucky I got to have them in my life.

“Hey, come here,” I nod as (Y/N) turns to look at me.

She steps towards us both and plants a soft kiss on the little one’s nose as I wrap my free arm around her, then press my lips first to (Y/N)’s head, and secondly to Leo’s. As long as I’ve got these two in my life, I’ll be happy.

[shuadotcom]

Fall for You | MYG & JJK

▸ Summary: Fall was always your favorite time of year and now you get to add two additional things you love to the list of reasons why: Yoongi and Jungkook. ▸ Pairing: Yoongi x Female!Reader x Jungkook ▸ Genre: Farm AU, fluff ▸ Word Count: 1.8k ▸ Rating: G ▸ Warnings: None ▸ A/N: Written for Bangtan HQ’s Bangtan Rodeo. Thank you to the anon that requested the prompts: “yoonkook/reader + barn + dialogue 9″!

It was your favorite time of year again. The leaves on the farm were changing into beautiful oranges and yellows. The apples in the orchard were finally plump and ripe and ready to be picked. The air was getting colder, which meant long-sleeved shirts and jeans instead of shorts and tank tops. Your mother was running around like a madwoman trying to get ready for her annual fall party.

Every year since you were ten, your mother would invite all of your neighbors within a twenty-mile radius over on the first night of fall in celebration of the season. She’d clear the animals out of the barn and clean it up to make space for everyone. As you grew, you went from helping her wrangle the horses up to decorating when you were tall enough, then to baking the pies and preparing the snacks alongside her.

All your friends and their parents showed up, and even if your mother spent weeks beforehand stressing over it, and by extension making you stress, it always turned out to be a fun night for everyone. Last year you had even managed to get two boyfriends out of it, so you weren’t complaining that much.

“Well if it ain’t my favorite girl,” you heard his deep voice before you saw him, his thin arms wrapping around your waist and squeezing.

“Mornin’ Yoongi.” You turned your head to give him a quick kiss before redirecting your attention back to the fairy lights in your hand. You were doing your damndest to untangle them, but they were like Christmas lights.

“Need some help?” He offered, picking up the other end of the lights at your feet.

“Please. Mama just had to rush into town for more cake frosting. We have four cakes in the oven right now and only two jars.”

“She does know that the party is tomorrow night right? She still has plenty of time.”

You shushed him as if horses and goats didn’t only surround you. “Don’t say that so loud! She’ll sense that you’re not taking this seriously and make you work all night! Probably stick you in a tuxedo and make you serve cider, just to show you what’s what.”

Yoongi let out a laugh. “Your mama wouldn’t do that. She loves me, remember? I’m her favorite one of your boyfriends.” He wasn’t wrong. Your mother was surprisingly supportive of you dating two men, but Yoongi was the one you had grown up with so she favored him whether she wanted to admit it or not. She loved Jungkook as well, but as he had moved from the city only three years ago, at times he still wasn’t used to the country life, and you all could tell.

“Speaking of boyfriends, where is my other wonderful beau?”

“You called, little lady?” Both you and Yoongi turned at the sound Jungkook’s voice. You expected to see him bounding into the barn with his usual bright, bunny-toothed grin. Instead, Jungkook was seated atop his horse with a solemn expression. He wasn’t wearing his usual dark jeans and baggy t-shirt either. From head to toe, Jungkook looked like an old western cowboy, down to the chaps and spurs on his cowboy boots.

“Jungkook?” Yoongi asked first. You were still surprised to see your boyfriend decked out in the cliche’ attire.

“Well, howdy there, Yoongi. Y/n.” Jungkook stopped his horse just in front of you and jumped down. You noticed the bouquet of daisies in his hand. He picked one and presented it with a flourish to Yoongi, who accepted it with a broad smile and a bow. Jungkook turned to you next and got down on one knee, holding the rest of the bouquet out to you.

“Jungkook, what on Earth are you doing?” You giggled and took the flowers from him.

“Well, as you know, tomorrow is a special night on this here farm. I’d be mighty honored to escort ya to the hoedown, miss.” He held a straight face as he spoke with the old-timey Southern accent, which you couldn’t deny was incredibly cute.

“Koo, why are you talking like that? Besides, you do realize I’m going to the party with you and Yoongi anyway, right? Seeing how we’re dating and all. ”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Come on, Y/n, don’t ruin the moment! I just wanted to court you,” he whined, a dramatic pout forming on his lips. You leaned down and kissed him until he was smiling.

“I’d be mighty pleased to accompany you to the hoedown tomorrow night, partner.” Jungkook let out an enthusiastic yeehaw in reply.

“You know, Koo, every day, I swear you do something that proves more and more that you’re from the city.” Yoongi laughed, tucking the daisy behind his ear.

“Yeah, but you still think I’m cute,” Jungkook said matter-of-factly. Before Yoongi could hit him with another snarky remark, Jungkook grabbed the front of his t-shirt and brought their lips together in a messy kiss. You saw Yoongi frown into the kiss, but you didn’t miss the way his hands latched onto Jungkook’s hips. You let them have their moment for a while longer before swatting at the two of them.

“Alright, that’s enough you lovebirds. Mama will be back soon, and I need y’all to work on these lights so I can go check on the cakes.” They separated with a final peck and Jungkook’s face lit up at the mention of cakes. “Cakes for tomorrow.” His pout was back, but you rolled your eyes at him this time, handing him the string of lights you had been working on.

You blew them both a kiss as you headed out of the barn, giving Jungkook’s horse a pat on the head on your way.

The next night, you couldn’t help but stand and admire you and your mother’s hard work. The red barn next to your house was full of your neighbors conversing and enjoying the food the two of you had prepared. The bright glowing of the fairy lights your boyfriends had strung up could surely be seen acres away. Music filled the air from the powerful sound system inside that you prided yourself on setting up on your own, even if Yoongi had insisted that he had needed to help you.

Jungkook and Yoongi were standing on either side of you, outfitted in their best party attire, which for Yoongi meant a pair of fitted jeans that didn’t have dirt smudges on them and a brand new flannel. Jungkook on the other hand, still a city boy at heart, opted for dark, ripped jeans and a black, long-sleeved shirt. You were thankful that both of them were casual men. They never made you feel pressured to make yourself look any particular way for them. Your outfit was a simple, knee-length white sundress and your favorite cowboy boots.

“So, are we just going to stand out here and gape at the barn, or are we going to enjoy the party?” Jungkook spoke up first, clearly itching to go inside. You let him take your hand while Yoongi took the other as he practically dragged you both towards the crowd of neighbors.

You gave your obligatory greetings to everyone, each person giving you various compliments on the decorations or the food. After getting roped into about four different conversations, eventually, Jungkook had managed to get the three of you to a less crowded corner of the barn. He was looking around nervously as if checking to see who was watching you.

“Koo, what’s wrong? You seem worried,” Yoongi asked, placing a hand over Jungkook’s that was gripping the end of his t-shirt restlessly.

“I...I just wanted all three of us to be together right now.” You saw his eyes dart over to the sound system, and you listened as the current song ended. The last note of the song tapered off, and almost immediately, the beginning tones of the next song rolled in. You immediately noticed how familiar it sounded. It was a slow, romantic ballad.

Jungkook’s gaze bounced between you and Yoongi as a gentle smile spread across his face. “Don’t you recognize it? It’s the song that played this time last year when I told you both that I liked you. It’s our first anniversary…” he trailed off as his shyness got the best of him, and his cheeks turned a light pink color. 

In all honesty, you had gotten so absorbed in working to make sure tonight was perfect for the guests that it had slipped your mind that this was technically your one year anniversary with your boyfriends.

“Oh Jungkook,” you cooed, reaching out to him to sweep him into a hug. He practically melted as Yoongi hugged him from behind, effectively sandwiching him between you both. “I’m sorry, Koo. I was working so hard that it slipped my mind.”

“Yeah, and you know my memory is just plain terrible,” Yoongi admitted, earning a laugh from both you and Jungkook.

“Is that why you asked us to go with you tonight the way you did yesterday?”

Jungkook buried his face deeper into your neck. “Yes. I just wanted to do something funny and cute.” You and Yoongi both embraced him tighter, beginning to pepper his neck and the top of his head with kisses making the younger boy giggle.

You pulled back then and held your hand out to Jungkook. “I’d be mighty honored if you’d grant me the honor of dancing with you tonight, good sir.” Jungkook played along, bowing to you and delicately placing his hand in yours. Yoongi bowed to him as well and grasped Jungkook’s other hand.

The three of you went towards the middle of the barn where other couples held each other, swaying to the music. You and Yoongi surrounded Jungkook once again, both sets of arms holding him by the waist as his arms were draped around your neck. You all moved fluidly together to the slow beat of the song, enjoying being here with one another.

“Y/n, Yoongi,” Jungkook whispered, loud enough for you both to hear, but quiet enough that no one around you could. “I love you both. A lot.”

This was the first time any of you had said the ‘L-word.’ Your heartbeat sped up, and you could feel yourself grinning like an idiot. “I love you both too.”

“And I obviously love both you saps,” Yoongi said in a joking tone, but you could tell from the look on his face that he meant it. Jungkook pulled you in one at a time to place a kiss on both your lips before he turned in your hold so his arms were around Yoongi’s neck now.

You and Yoongi leaned over his head to share a kiss, lingering a little longer. “I love you. So much,” he murmured, barely pulling away.

“And I love you,” you hummed, eyes closing in bliss. You didn’t know how you had been so lucky to gain the love of two amazing men, but you were so thankful. Starting a new chapter of your life with them was another thing you could add to your list of favorite fall things; this taking the number one spot.

[aubrey-plaza]

hope you're doing good during this crazy time! was wondering if you have any recs for crossbow canary fics to read?

so I have another fic rec list here that also has some dinah x helena recs so check that out too if you need more. 

You can always go to the tag and sort by kudos but the ones below are some of my absolute favourites and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do :)

Crossbow Canary / Dinah x Helena:

In my darkness I remember

by ThanksForListening / @thanks--for--listening (13.154, complete)

summary: Helena gets stabbed, Dinah blows her powers, and everyone needs therapy.

notes: this is hurt/comfort at it’s FINEST. Two chapters, one from each POV with a delicious exploration of backstory and characterisation, and a story that will rip your heart out still beating. It’s a beautiful fic and honestly, any words I say won’t do it justice and you should just read it.  

would you like to cuddle under my weighted blanket?

by tonksremus (3721, rated M, ½ chapters)

summary: Dinah discovers Helena’s weighted blanket and then decides to wife her. Really. That’s the basis of this entire fic.

notes: there are simply no words to describe how fucking hilarious this fic is. Even before the big laugh out loud moment, the author sets up smaller bits and pieces for you to laugh over and the whole time I was reading it I had a smile on my face. I recommend not reading this in public. I don’t think I have ever laughed so much while reading a fic. Add to that a delicious cameo by Poison Ivy and great characterisation all around and you’ve got yourself a pretty stellar piece of writing. I cannot wait for the second part to this!

hoping to find (what i can’t figure out yet)

by sinandmisery / @sinand-misery (6863, T, wip)

summary: “I realized after I got to my class, I never got your name.”

“Oh, um- Helena.” She stands, hand outstretched awkwardly for a handshake. “Helena Rosa.”

“Dinah Lance,” she says, laughing as she shakes Helena’s hand. Her hands are cold from the bottles of beer, but Helena’s hands are warm - so warm - and Dinah doesn’t want to let go.

OR;

The college AU where they become friends and fall a little bit (a lot) in love.

notes: anybody who knows me knows I don’t read WIPs. full stop. I try to keep up and really love supporting my friends but wips are just so hard for me to keep up with and YET. There’s this college AU that’s so riveting and well written that I eagerly await the email that brings the next chapter with it. There’s intrigue and a solid backstory laced with a delicious banter and characterisation that’s just *chefs kiss*. I love it so much I made a social media AU for it.

For a Little While Longer

by Ciocco / @suolasirotin (1664, rated T, tw in story notes)

summary: ‘Psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.’

Helena has a choice to make.

notes: the way this was written had my throat in a knot and my chest warm the whole way out despite knowing that it would end well and there’s a beauty to the prose and the internal monologue that gives it such an authentic feeling. Your heart will hurt for Helena and sympathise and the way this moment was written, you will want to be drawn to Dinah. It’s so well written and I keep coming back to it.  

i don’t wanna be your friend (i wanna kiss your lips)

by MontagueBitch (porcia_catonis) (1090, G)

summary: Helena practiced this moment in front of her mirror a dozen times, and somehow, it still doesn’t come out right. How typical.

notes: Helena is a goddamn disaster and I love her so much. This fic reads like a movie, perfectly described with the right amount of dialogue and feels so natural and like them.  

Quarantine Oneshots / Chapter 17 - You’re So Vain  

by BlueJay_Silvertongue (1588, rated T)

summary: Helena and Diana attend a funeral in Italy, and Dinah finally confronts her feelings for Helena.

notes: so this is I think the second one shot in this series that’s CC, but in the first one it’s basically revealed that Diana and Helena sometimes sleep together. Still, it’s a short piece and manages to be so compelling and really stuck with me and I keep coming back to it. Part of a quarantine collection so I’m p sure author is doing a ficlet a day and I have to say the notes at the end are really uplifting as well!

I Don’t Deserve This (You Look Perfect Tonight)

by Dash_El (1168, rated G)

summary: “What’s wrong, Helena?” Dinah asks curiously. “Never danced with another girl before?”

“No, it’s not that.” Helena’s arms are rigid, her hands balling up into fists. She breathes out slowly before admitting the truth. “I’ve never danced with anyone before.”

notes: is there anything better than two people slowdancing together? the answer is yes: this fic. It’s slow and simple and practically evokes the imagery in your head.  

I’ve been at war for so long.

by D_writes (2235, rated G, will leave you hungry)

summary: One shot exploring a bit of Helena’s Italian heritage and some habits she brought with her from the old continent.

notes: Carla Lalli Music said Love is a thing you can taste, and she was right. I love a fic based around food and eating because what’s more caring that wanting your loved ones to be well fed? The Italians are good at this and having Helena connect with that part of her heritage and basing a story around it? Absolute pinnacle of poeticism.  

Pegasus

by catfishofoldin99colours / @catfishofoldin99colours (3617, rated G)

summary: A chilly rooftop evening, half a bottle of brandy down her throat, and the entire sky mapped out above. Not what Dinah imagined when she’d first thought of kissing Helena, but she’s not one to argue with the universe like that.

notes: will I ever stop recommending this fic? unlikely. I am a SUCKER for pining Dinah. Most fics in the tag are written from Helena’s pov but the absolute deliciousness that is a yearning Dinah is just. There are no words. They’re so goddamn awkward and I love them so much.  

Sleepover

by emmer_gency / @cleanquean (4549, T, wip)

summary: It’s not like Dinah doesn’t realise she’s got it bad for Helena; she knows that all too well, thank you very much. The problem is, what the hell do you do about it when it’s right there in your face, at work, at home, in your kitchen and in your bed? And how do you keep Harley Quinn from unintentionally ruining all of it?

notes: I just. I love this fic so much. Harley is the perfect foil these two morons being incredibly awkward around each other but I still just cannot get enough.  

i’d like it if you stayed (and i like you)

by mess_is_mine (3269, rated E)

summary: Living together, when Dinah hasn’t been laid in months, when they’re spending their nights in situations that get Dinah’s adrenaline going, when Helena has a habit of walking around in sleeveless shirts or even just a sports bra and low slung joggers?

Yeah, it was only a matter of time before Helena walked in at an inopportune moment.

notes: this is. very hot. features a very pent up Dinah being walked in on and hot and (surprisingly) tender smut.  

Hail Mary, Full of Grace

by zxywrites / @zxyjxy​ (3790, explicit)

summary: They have sex in a church. Not sure what else to say.

notes: relapsed gay catholics unite! but seriously, note I didn’t put an E but instead wrote out the word explicit. It’s explicit. They’re in a church. and yet, my favourite line isn’t a piece of smut but instead a section of gorgeous prose sprinkled throughout this story that really elevates it from being gratuitous smut to something absolutely beautiful. But it’s also really hot.  

no fic specifically but all of @thewomanofwonder / thewomanofwonder’s stories are good!

and of course you can read the fics I wrote

Happy reading, Anon!

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Simpson is a Richmond-based singer and rapper who you may also know as Babe Simpson, one-fourth of the Tumblr-born rap collective Barf Troop. They dazed the internet back in the early 2010s with their uncensored, forward-thinking rhymes and aesthetics, and even got the attention of Drake. Though the collective has gone silent in recent years, Simpson has since cultivated her own steady following around her soft, and ruminative tunes. Her latest is 'Cherry Ice Cream Sundae,' a song about "treating ourselves with as much tenderness as we treat everyone else," she says, and is backed by a lush landscape of jazzy guitars and drums — a sound that could be considered a close sibling to the rap lullabies of Noname. Simpson's now sharing the song's peculiar video, which features a charming but eerie cast of marionette puppets. Over email, Simpson explains that she wrote the song after experiencing "a feeling that I’ve always been trying to put into words but I don’t think I was mature enough to be able to sing. I reached my breaking point where I was like, f*ck it, whatever happens, happens, and I’m gonna look on the bright side everywhere I can. I’m going to 'smile because I can.' I actually changed the original opening lyrics from 'The world is in the shitter' to 'Life is kind to who’s kind to it back.' The world has always been in the shitter, but that hasn’t made it any less special or sweet. I think that’s made me much more of a realist. I recorded it tipsy, upside down, hanging off my bed as a freestyle, and it felt so natural saying and listening to it back made me feel so proud." [via NYLON]

Earlier this week, Lana Del Rey revealed the artwork and tracklist for her new album Chemtrails Over The Country Club. Back in October, Del Rey shared the album’s lead single 'Let Me Love You Like A Woman.' It was the first song she shared from the album after postponing its planned September release. Now, she’s sharing the album’s second single and title track. She’s also announced that Chemtrails Over The Country Club will be out March 19. In a lengthy interview with BBC Radio 1 — during which she talked about the Trump insurrection and her album cover controversy — she mentioned that Jack Antonoff produced much of the album, minus 'Yosemite,' which was produced with Rick Nowels. Watch a music video for the album’s title track, directed by BRTHR, above. In a different kind of statement, prior to the release of the 'Chemtrails Over The Country Club' music video, Del Rey explained why she is wearing a cast in it: "When you see my second video for this album, don’t think that the fact I’m wearing a cast is symbolic for anything other than thinking I was still a pro figure skater. I wiped out on my beautiful skates before the video even began after a long day of figure eights and jumps in the twilight of the dezert. Anyways my fracture isn’t that bad kind of goes with my new bucket hat. Thanks to my beautiful family for my gifts." [via Stereogum]

Joining forces for the new uplifting track, G Flip and mxmtoon are sharing new empowerment anthem ‘Queen’, produced by Rostam Batmanglij. "'Queen' was written about the strong women around me, the queens that raised me and the queens I’ve met through my years,” G Flip explains. “My idea of a queen is not necessarily linked to gender; queens come in all forms and walks of life. To me a queen embodies power and strength; they embrace all they are fiercely yet gracefully. The song was written one sunny day in LA, I was chillin on Rostam’s lovely white couch and he turned around to me and said ‘how about we write a song about Queens’ and I replied with ‘F@!K yeah!’. I’m also super stoked to have mxmtoon on the track with me, she is an absolute queen. I first was introduced to her when I was trying to find ukulele chords to a Khalid song and found her cover on YouTube years ago. She makes awesome music and her voice has such a cruisy timbre to it so I was thrilled to have her jump on 'Queen' with me. She is also an avid croc lover and part of the LGBTQIA+ community, so obviously it just made sense!” mxmtoon adds, “So happy to be a part of ‘Queen’ with G! she and Rostam were such a joy to work with and so so much fun to collaborate with on creative as well. I’m so glad that it’s still possible to make art and music with someone even when they’re on the other side of the world, and I’m lucky that I got the opportunity to feature on G’s song. ‘Queen’ is a power anthem for any person, and I’m so excited for people to love it as much as we do!” [via DIY]

With her hotly-anticipated new album Magic Mirror out now, Pearl Charles gave us our latest teaser of what to expect earlier this week, sharing new glitzy bop ‘Only For Tonight’. “‘Only for Tonight’ tells the story of a currently bygone era of wild nights out on the town - the highs and lows of one night stands and the crashes of the morning after,” she explains. “The music video, directed by Bobbi Rich, leans into those excesses, paying a sparkly homage to the late-night musical television shows of the 70’s, from Soul Train to The Midnight Special, as well as the gauzy, Vaseline’d lens of ABBA’s music videos. With an added sprinkling of VHS special effects, you’re likely to feel like you’re watching a home-taped recording of a lost episode of Top of the Pops.” [via DIY]

Alt-pop trailblazer dodie has shared her new single 'Hate Myself' in full. Everything the songwriter touches seems to turn into melodic gold, with her debut album Build A Problem landing this Spring. Out on March 5, it's led by new single 'Hate Myself', which made its bow as Annie Mac's Hottest Record In The World. It's an apt title, with this instantly-viral moment offering an "inner monologue" that touches on some of dodie's inner-most feelings. The song depicts "someone who seems to find themselves in relationships of any kind with people who deal with their feelings internally - unfortunately resulting in assuming the issue is with them." dodie co-directed the video alongside Sammy Paul, shooting at the Cornish seaside village Polperro. The pair "excitedly landed on the silly idea of the training leading up to becoming a post-lady, and thoroughly enjoyed planning the many bizarre exercises she would have to perfect. Our excellent Art Director, Louis Grant, worked on bringing her home and training station to life. Though jogging on cliff tops in the rain, carrying a large sack and slipping in the mud was certainly cold and exhausting, I think I preferred it to slowly feeling sicker, licking stamps on a swaying boat by the Excel." [via Clash]

Berlin-based indie five-piece People Club are back with new single and video 'Francine', following on from their last release 'Lay Down Your Weapons', which focused on police brutality.  The new single 'Francine' tackles the topics of addiction and lovelessness. In the words of the band: "The song speaks from the voice of a lamenting partner whose lover (Francine) is helplessly addicted to drugs. Francine lost interest in her relationship with the narrator a long time ago. It's a song about commitment and how love can fade away leaving only wickedness behind."  Regarding the visuals, the band said "The 'Francine' video is a play on the old idiom of 'being your own worst enemy'. A phrase which quite beautifully captures the inner critic which we know so well, especially during the course of the pandemic - we've had to learn to each give ourselves a break. The video was shot in the depth of the harsh Berlin winter, in the depth of the pandemic." Director Felix Spitta added "I love the band and I love the different personalities. It is always heaps of fun working on creative output together. Riding through Berlin only with bikes and all the film equipment in the freezing cold almost felt like a masochistic idea from Saxon. It's inspiring to be surrounded by so many creative minds.”

Pale Waves are back with 'Easy', the third single to be shared from their highly-anticipated second album Who Am I?. Lead vocalist Heather Baron-Gracie describes the new track as "a song about how love can change your whole entire perspective on life itself. It’s saying ‘being in love with you is so easy, you finally make sense in my life because nothing did before'." The new single is accompanied by a James Slater-directed video that shows Baron-Gracie performing at a Tim Burton/medieval-style wedding in an abandoned church. Baron-Gracie adds, "I wore a wedding dress throughout and we shot the video in an old abandoned church. I’m really inspired by the gothic medieval aesthetic and at the time I was thinking of the video I was watching a lot of Tim Burton films whose creativity really inspires me." Pale Waves' second album will follow their 2018 debut LP My Mind Makes Noises. Baron-Gracie says of their upcoming album, "For me, music and art is for people not to feel so alone and isolated. I want to be that person my fans look up to and find comfort in." [via the Line Of Best Fit]

The official video for Zoe Wees’ new single, 'Girls Like Us,' is online now. Like the song, the clip sends a message of togetherness and solidarity to girls around the world who are feeling the pressures of society. Zoe Wees says, “It’s not always good to think about how you look to the rest of the world. It’s much more important to think about how you feel inside. It is not easy to call yourself beautiful but being confident helps you to accept and love yourself.” The 18-year-old Hamburg, Germany-based artist adds, “We’re walking through a world with blinded eyes. At the end of the day, we all go to bed without make-up with the ugliest clothes and wake up with the messiest hair on earth.”

Julien Baker has shared a new taste of her forthcoming album Little Oblivions by way of a new single ‘Hardline’. Julien says, “A few years ago I started collecting travel ephemera again with a loose idea of making a piece of art with it. I had been touring pretty consistently since 2015 and had been traveling so much that items like plane tickets and hotel keycards didn't have much novelty anymore. So I saved all my travel stuff and made a little collage of a house and a van out of it. I wanted to incorporate it into the record and when we were brainstorming ideas for videos we came across Joe Baughman and really liked his work so we reached out with the idea of making a stop-motion video that had similar aesthetic qualities as the house I built did. I don't know why I have the impulse to write songs or make tiny sculptures out of plane tickets. But here it is anyway: a bunch of things I've collected and carried with me that I've re-organized into a new shape.” The video for ‘Hardline’ was directed by Joe Baughman, who notes: “Man, even after having spent 600 hours immersed in ‘Hardline’ and having listened to it thousands of times, I am still moved by it. It was a fun and ambitious challenge creating something that could accompany such a compelling song. The style of the set design, inspired by a sculpture that Julien created, was especially fun to work in. I loved sifting through magazines, maps, and newspapers from the 60s and 70s and finding the right colors, shapes, and quotes to cover almost every surface in the video.”

Teenage Joans are staying true to their world and unveiling 'Something About Being Sixteen', a new single that's sure to cement their 2021 as victorious. It's the perfect successor to 'Three Leaf Clover' and a track that makes it two-for-two for Teenage Joans, further capturing the excitement and energy within Cahli and Tahlia as they trade catchy riffs and thriving choruses with the combo of light-heartedness and intimateness that seems to define Teenage Joans' work, and how they're able to look in at themselves (and out at the world around them) through a lens that keeps it fun and digestable. "'Something About Being Sixteen' is undoubtedly Teenage Joans' great take on the classic coming of age rock tune, generally closing our live sets with audiences singing along every time without fail," the duo say on the single. [via Pilerats]

Kate Hollowell took a risk going by the moniker Number One Popstar when she released her debut single 'Psycho.' However, Hollowell didn’t mind if that choice set her up for failure or not. She goes with the flow. Luckily, that mentality has advanced her even farther. Now, Number One Popstar releases her second single, 'I Hate Running.' New Year’s resolutions are, most of the times, created for the wrong reasons. It’s also no surprise that majority of people’s goals center around exercising and weight loss. 'I Hate Running', however, challenges that mindset, satirizing the toxic nature of exercise industry and diet culture. Hollowell said herself, “The song explores facing the hard, emotional work instead of the physical.  I really don’t enjoy running, and I wanted to troll the exercise industry and write an anti-motivational song.” In terms of sound, 'I Hate Running' shares similar vibes to her first single with its classic 80s pop of saturated synths. But, this time, there’s a hint of disco with the zealous psychedelic guitar and electric drums and keys. The interludes consist of a symbolic, robotic, and almost sinister snippet from a workout instructor. It all complements well with Hollowell’s escapist lyrics. Even though the lyrics say otherwise, the track’s sound might just spark that motivation to workout or dance, doing mindful movement that makes us feel good. Exercise should never feel like a punishment, and Number One Popstar is here to remind us. She makes us want to stick it to the exercise industry, proving to it that we will only work out for the right reasons. [via Earmilk]

Alt-pop riser Chloe Rodgers has shared her new video 'The Algea' in full. The Nottingham based talent sparkled in 2020 in spite of the pervasive gloom, releasing two startling singles. Her third release could be her best yet, with 'The Algea' hitting streaming services just before Christmas. The video captures those mid-winter chills, while providing a platform for Chloe to express herself. Constructed alongside creative director Kate Lomas, it was shot at Newstead Abbey in Nottingham. Chloe comments... "I wanted to use a music box in the video to represent being objectified and getting stuck in the same cycles, as that’s largely what the song is about. I wrote the song when I was 18, but didn’t add the verse at the end about claiming my power back until a couple of years later when I felt a bit stronger. We tried to reflect this in the video too with the Chloe in white sort of protecting the other Chloe of the past." Kate Lomas adds: "This was such a joy to watch come together, the video concept is based around the idea that Chloe is the character in a music box, she’s the performer that’s spinning round on an endless cycle for other people’s entertainment. The video tells the tale of Chloe definitely breaking this cycle and no longer playing this role." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has announced her ANTIHERO EP will be released on April 16 via Nettwerk Records. With the EP announcement, Deena shares the official music video for her latest single, 'ASTRONAUT,' the follow-up to two previously released videos for 'DEADALIVE' and 'MURDER'. Each of the five music videos for the forthcoming ANTIHERO EP will come together through bold-palette videos that transform into an antihero character “in a cyberpunk, anime, futuristic, graphic, almost sci-fi world,” says Deena. Deena adds, “as ‘ASTRONAUT’ delves into my anxiety, I wanted the film to reflect that in a simple way that helped portray how my anxiety can sometimes manifest - a contradiction between feeling lost in vast spaces and trapped in claustrophobic spaces. I had a specific idea in mind, which meant that I had to undergo stunt training with professionals and learn how to maneuver in a wire harness. Most of the video had to be shot in a single take because of the stunts' nature in safety preparation, time consumption, and impact on the body. I'm still recovering from the bruises, but it was all worth it, and the team was amazing in pulling it all together. I'm proud of this one as it is 3 minutes of my rawest vulnerability, visually interpreted. I'm also finally ready to share it.” 'ASTRONAUT' is the sound of Deena liberating herself from a lifelong battle with anxiety.  “It is a human trait. It’s how we survive in the wild,” she says. “We’re all wired as humans to be quite anxious.  As females more so, because we’re more susceptible to danger.”

Rising star Mulay shares the smoking visuals for her new single, ‘Antracyte’. It’s the culminating release in a three-part video series from the Berlin-based alternative R&B singer-songwriter/producer/artist, ahead of her highly anticipated EP, which comes out at the end of the month via Groenland Records. Mulay explains about the single, “'ANTRACYTE' is the intro and title track to my debut EP. It’s the soundtrack to the birth of a villain and captures the moment of complete honesty to yourself about the awareness of doing wrong by the ones you love while feeling the inability to turn around. It’s about the desire to taste forbidden fruits, to cross and explore what lies beyond the line and the self-empowering feeling of playing by your own rules defeating the fear of consequences and the power of moral concepts. 'ANTRACYTE' tells a story of contradicting emotions, a story of love, lust, pain and a longing for more. It’s about facing your own darkness and sins, about self-revelation, emancipation and about paying its price, resigning to your fate.”

Only a band like shallow pools could make a blast of 'ice water' sound refreshing and necessary in the dead of New England winter. But the Massachusetts indie-pop group is usually pushing against the current of what we’d normally expect, and now the quartet hits us with a dose of cold reality through their new single and video. 'ice water' is a vivid new single that confronts the mental health struggles brought on by quarantine and isolation, and even the shallow pools aesthetic has reflected this by shifting from bright glowing neons to a more subdued color palette of beiges and browns. Call it a sign of the times, and call 'ice water' the sound of now; upbeat and jovial on the surface, a comet of pop smarts and hooks, but with the darker shine that resides in our lives when we’re positioned away from the screens and digital scenes. As Glynnis Brennan sings “Every day’s the same and / There’s no breaking out / Like I’m stuck here / Going through the motions now” well, we feel that. shallow pools describe “ice water” as “a departure from the music we’ve made in the past, but it’s the perfect bridge between our old and new sound.” That is certainly the case, and 'ice water' continues to showcase the group as one of New England’s sharpest, following a string of 2020 singles that included pop standouts like 'Haunted' and 'Afterlight'. “We wrote the song with our friend and producer, Chris Curran, and learned a lot about the type of music we want to be making in the process,” the band adds. “The song is about the impact that the state of the world has had on our mental health, specifically in the last year. We’re excited to share it and hope that anyone who has had similar experiences will find some comfort in knowing that there are others who can relate.” [via Vanyaland]

[writethehousedown]

In My Head, We Belong (Crystal/Gigi) Chapter Three -- Zyan

a/n: hiya! here I come with chapter three :D we’re getting there, folks. For the ones that follow me on my side-blog ( @chachkisalpaca ) and read the mini-fics I’m constantly posting, there might be a familiar bit in the middle of the chapter. ;)

Frey remains the best beta even if she’s tired of my bullshit, love you 🤠

“Let me see if I understand correctly,” Jan says as Gigi takes her measurements. Gigi rolls her eyes, completely embarrassed at Jan’s slightly mocking tone. “You had the perfect opportunity to tell Crystal you like her due to the irony of her comment.” Jan pauses and turns to face Gigi, who groans and tells her to be still. “And then you didn’t?”

“And then I didn’t,” Gigi repeats, staring back at Jan.

Jan snorts as Gigi finishes taking her measurements. The blonde rolls her eyes and walks toward the table, adding the measurements to the sketch of Jan’s dress.

“Y’know, you’re the last person that should be making fun of me,” Gigi points out in an accusatory tone. Jan immediately shuts her mouth, knowing exactly what Gigi’s talking about, but refusing to acknowledge it.

She wanders around the room, trying to look interested in the many mannequins with half-finished dresses. Gigi looks at her over her shoulder, and her face softens up a little.

“Jan, if it helps in any way, I think she definitely likes you too,” she says softly with a smile, and Jan sighs a little before coming closer.

“Is it true? That everyone knows about us already,” she asks with a small voice. Gigi chuckles with a nod and Jan’s cheeks turn red. “Oh my God, it was Yuhua, wasn’t it? She went around spreading it. I knew I saw someone behind the door, but Jaida didn’t believe me.” Jan folds her arms with a pout and Gigi laughs loudly.

“She’s a loud mouthed bitch; you can bet everyone knows already. I think there’s also a bet on when you two are gonna become official, ‘cause, y’know, you usually look at Jaida with heart eyes. Even if Yuhua didn’t discover you two, you kinda just give it away with the way you look at her, which is ironic because everyone but her seems to notice.”

Gigi laughs and Jan hides her face in her palms, her face getting redder with each second. She squeals a little and Gigi goes over to her to pat her shoulder.

“Same,” she merely says as she keeps on patting Jan’s shoulder.

When Jan’s embarrassment washes off, she looks at Gigi bashfully.

“Do you really think she likes me?” She wonders, her voice is small and there’s a tinge of hope in her tone.

Gigi smiles warmly; she knows Jaida, they’ve been friends for years now —Jaida got her the job at the restaurant, actually— and she’s never seen her friend so infatuated with someone. She’s naturally deadpan most of the time, but it took Gigi a total of five seconds to put two and two together, having noticed the way Jaida is more cheerful around Jan, how, when they have night outs, Jaida turns down everyone to dance with her, and she remains sober to take good care of her, how sometimes she smiles at the things Jan does or says when she thinks no one is watching her.

Gigi is positive her friend’s feelings are beyond a simple liking. But she’ll let Jan discover that herself.

She feels a twitch of jealousy when Jan leaves with a promise of asking Jaida out per Gigi’s advice and telling her how it goes. Gigi knows that Jaida will say yes.

She’s happy for her friends, really; she knows they’re good for each other and will make a lovely couple. But she can’t help but want what they have, or will have, anyway.

Gigi starts constructing Jan’s dress and tries, for the love of everything holy, to push Crystal to the back of her brain.

*

The next week Jan calls her and screeches so loud Gigi has to put her phone away until she stops.

It goes without saying that she has a date with Jaida. She pretty much just starts rambling about what she’s going to do now, where she’s going to take her, what she should wear; Jan is freaking out because she asked Jaida out on an impulse and hasn’t planned anything.

At work she’s got Jan being all giggly around Jaida, and talking to her in hurried whispers, asking for her opinion on various restaurants she thinks Jaida will like. Gigi merely tells Jan to send her a photo of the place later and she’ll judge it, all while juggling her orders.

It’s already confusing as it is, and then Crystal steps into the picture.

“Hey G, have I told you that you look stunning tonight?” She begins with a sing-sang tone and Gigi scoffs, already knowing she needs something.

Gigi’s hair is tied into a bun that is starting to fall apart four hours into her shift, her baby hairs are plastered across her forehead with sweat, there are various stains in her uniform, and she’s not wearing an ounce of make-up; Gigi thinks she’s many things, but right now ‘stunning’ isn’t one of them.

“Yeah, right, and Silky doesn’t cheat in Uno. Spill, what do you need?” She replies bluntly, hearing how Silky complains a few feet away. Crystal acts offended and Gigi chuckles.

“Why do you think I always compliment you when I want a favor? Jeez.” Crystal folds her arms and Gigi cocks a sly brow. “I was gonna ask you to let me borrow the dress you wore at Brianna’s birthday party anyway, compliment or not.”

“Absolutely not,” Gigi replies  without a second thought.

The dress Crystal’s talking about is one of her favorites, not only because she made it, but also because she looks nothing short of a goddess when she wears it. Gigi thinks for a moment how Crystal would look wearing it, and though it’d compliment her strawberry blonde hair, she refuses to give it away, just so Crystal can try to impress a man that doesn’t deserve her.

“Please, G! I’ll take the Sunday shift if you let me borrow it!” Crystal begs, putting on puppy eyes, a pout, and all that jazz. Gigi huffs, tapping her foot on the marble floor waiting for her order.

She knows Crystal has a date with this guy she’s been seeing for the past month, and to be honest, she doesn’t like him. He looks dodgy, he has bad breath, and his eyes seem to scan every girl in the room despite having Crystal hanging from his arm. Gigi can’t wrap her head around why or what does he have that attracts Crystal so much.

(Gigi would give everything she got to have what he has, but that’s not something she’ll ever say out loud.)

“You said that the time I lent you my orange skirt and I’m still here on Saturdays. Save your breath, Crys,” she replies as Dusty hands her order and she leaves.

But Crystal is insistent; she quickly grabs her order from Dusty’s hands and goes after her.

“Please! I’ll go talk to Widow right now if that’s what you want; I swear this time it’s for real!” She puts the clients’ orders down and speaks hurriedly to Gigi, who bites her lower lip. Having Sundays free does sound like a good deal…

(She tries not to think about the part where Crystal adds an extra day to her shift for a guy she’ll eventually regret going out with.)

She gives in with an annoyed groan as they make their way back to the kitchen.

“Fine! But, bitch, I swear, I’ll haunt you down if you return it like you returned my green blouse,” Gigi warns, pressing her finger on Crystal’s chest. The green blouse affair had been with a different man; to this day Gigi feels the stickiness on the fabric. Why hadn’t she thrown it out yet, she doesn’t know.

“Thank you! I’ll go talk to Widow right now, love ya!” Crystal kisses her in the cheek, near her lips in a fast move that leaves Gigi breathless for a couple of seconds before Heidi tells her another one of her orders is up. “Oh, and Gigi?” Crystal says before she goes.

Gigi looks back at Crystal and her heart might just stop right there and then at the sight of her happy smile.

“You do look stunning.” She winks at her, and though Gigi is used to Crystal saying some variation of it whenever she complies with her wishes, it still makes her heart flutter.

The rest of the night goes uneventful, or, well, as uneventful as it can be on a full night; Jan still asks for her opinion in the most mundane things regarding her date, Crystal looks radiant, Jaida tries to keep her cool with asshole customers, and Dusty, Heidi and Silky decide to do their famous Who Can Cook Faster competition in the heat of the night, earning either an eye roll or a cheer from the girls, no in between.

*

“Are you done yet? It’s not that hard to tie the laces!” Gigi asks leaning against the doorframe.

It’s the day of Crystal’s date and she’s trying on the dress for the first time, part of Gigi knows it’s because that if it doesn’t fit her, Gigi is capable of wiping out a dress for her in the blink of an eye — also because she has a massive wardrobe and they’d for sure find something that fits Crystal.

“You say that because you designed it,” Crystal whines and Gigi chuckles. “Can you teach me how to tie it?” She inquires, opening the door and peeking slightly from behind.

Gigi swallows thickly and nods. The dress is made from a shiny black fabric and Gigi could’ve just turned it into a standard black mini dress with thin stripes, but she likes to stand out, so she deepened and widened the cleavage… A lot, and then did a pattern with stripes so the front resembled a corset. It fits her perfectly because her breasts are almost non-existent, but Crystal…

She steps into the room and her breath gets caught in her throat when she looks over at Crystal; she’s untied the stripes and is holding the dress in place, looking at her with a bashful expression. Gigi inhales deeply and comes closer to her, indicating to move her hands aside so she can tie it.

Gigi takes the ends of the stripes and narrates the whole process. Her fingers brush against Crystal’s warm skin while she’s working her way up the dress, and if she hears Crystal inhale sharply and feels her muscles tense under her touch, she doesn’t mention it.

She reaches the end and she’s careful when she tugs at the stripes to tighten the dress.

“… And then you can make a bow with the ends, like this, see?” Gigi instructs, trying not to let her voice quiver as she ties said bow.

When she’s done, she takes a step back and admires Crystal. It’s safe to say she’s lost the ability to speak completely.

When Gigi doesn’t say anything, Crystal heads to Gigi’s mirror and checks herself out. She lets out a little excited squeal that absolutely melts her heart.

“Gigi, it looks beautiful!” She exclaims with a toothy smile, admiring herself in the mirror.

“You are beautiful,” Gigi says without thinking it twice, looking at Crystal as if she’s the reason the sun comes out every day.

Crystal turns to look at her, and Gigi witnesses how her expressions change slowly.

A cold sweat runs down her back when Crystal squints slightly at her and inhales sharply. Has she noticed the way her fingers twitch after touching her skin? The way she looks at her with such yearn; longing to be the one she has a date with?

If she notices she doesn’t say it, and though Gigi is relieved it makes her heart tighten a little.

“Thank you so much, G,” she says softly, a smile blooming on her face. Gigi smiles widely. “You’re a great friend.”

Gigi freezes the smile on her face and nods. Though, on the inside she feels as if she’s wearing socks and just stepped into a puddle.

[burned-to-the-void]

Siegemas Day 17

My prompt: “Everyone shut up and pretend to be happy.”

A pre-Christmas team dinner for GIGN, basically. Or, a tiny step in the process of being accepted.

2.4K words, G rated, no content warnings apply.

Thank you again @dualrainbow​ for giving me the opportunity to participate!!💙 I hope you guys enjoy my contribution to this wonderful event, and please go check their blog to read more from other talented writers if you haven’t yet, you won’t regret! 

🎄 Happy Holidays, everyone ;)

~*~

Twitch leans forward with her hands on the counter, inspecting the food for the umpteenth time despite the fact she knows that everything is up to her standard, which can be considered a synonym for perfection. She has pestered Rook, who volunteered to help her preparing the food, enough times to ensure that. The pâté lorrain smells wonderful, just as her grandma’s used to do, and the roasted turkey, stuffed with plump chestnuts, looks almost heaven-sent with its skin crispy and glistening with rich fat. The desserts are already set on the plates―except for the chocolate mousse that’s still being chilled in the fridge―dazzling in their various colors and shapes.

Really, there is no reason to feel this nervous, it’s just another dinner with her teammates, not a cooking competition. No one is going to point out even if there is something that’s less than perfect, not even Lion would be that blunt.

He's really coming, isn't he. Reminded of the real reason behind her worry, Twitch has to suppress the urge to bury her face in her palms and groan, a bit over-dramatic as she's prone to be.

Inviting him didn’t seem like a bad idea, in the beginning. It’s not Lion himself that she'd like to avoid, it’s the inevitable tension that charges the air like static electricity when him and Doc are in each other’s vicinity, one that she can't help but pick up like a overly sensitive radar, putting her on edge as well. When Doc isn’t involved she has a nice working relationship with Lion, although they rarely interact in more personal settings, making today an unlikely exception.

It was Montagne who suggested that she should invite one more person to the team dinner, which she had meticulously planned out so they can celebrate together before they part ways to spend the actual Christmas with their respective families. Sensing her hesitation, he assured her that he'd have a talk with both of them in advance and personally see to it that they remain civil during the dinner, and this earnest promise from the most reliable man she’s ever known had been enough to persuade her.

Had been, that is, until some assholes decided to celebrate their holiday by threatening the local community with a thrilling promise of random bomb attacks, causing mass panic in the area, and along with several other operators Montagne was picked out to go and intervene. He tried to apologize before he leave, to which Twitch only shook her head because it wasn't his fault terrorists didn't give a shit about other people's holiday plans. But now that the drama of the evening is about to unfold, without him to defuse the situation if the things get heated, she can’t help but lament his absence a little.

“It’s going to be okay,” says Rook, bumping his shoulder with hers lightly, and places a tray of newly baked plum jam cookies on the counter. His eyes linger on them a bit too longingly, and Twitch sighs.

“I envy your optimism. You can have one now if you want, we’re one man short anyway.”

“Well, if you say so,” he grins, and reaches directly for the one that's practically oozing with ruby-red jam, as if he was just waiting for the cue. Twitch is opening her mouth to comment on it but that is the exact moment when the doorbell starts to ring, so she just rolls her eyes and hurries past him to greet the guest.

Doc is standing by the door, the tips of his ears reddened by the cold air but otherwise immaculate from head to toe, with a toned down blue scarf that actually matches the color of his coat, a feat not many men can achieve. Once again Twitch is reminded that without the near perpetual look of bone-deep tiredness he makes a strikingly handsome figure, even to eyes that are uninterested by principle.

Also, surprisingly, he isn't alone.

"We're not too late, are we?" To his credit, Doc's smile doesn't even look that much strained, despite his company.

"You two came together?" Twitch has to ask, blinking up at the hunched form of Lion who is tailing behind Doc, and for the lack of better word, sulking. Doc shakes his head with a chuckle.

"God, no. I just caught him fidgeting in front of the door."

"I didn't fidget," Lion mutters a protest, clearly still fidgeting. Doc, his smile somehow both sympathetic and smug, doesn't bother a reply but Lion glares at him as if he's heard one anyway. Twitch hastily beckons them inside to break the tension before it has a chance to develop.

Doc gives Twitch a quick hug on his way in, careful not to press her against the cold surface of his coat, and brushes past her into the dining room. When it's Lion's turn they both stare at each other, unsure, until he shoves a bottle of wine into her hand, almost as an afterthought.

"Thought I'd bring a gift," Lion explains with a sheepish expression.

"Thanks," Twitch arches her eyebrow, caught by surprise, albeit a pleasant one. Lion nods, looking satisfied, and follows Doc before she can find any more words to add.

"Mmm, something smells wonderful in here," Doc comments, taking his gloves off and rubbing his cold hands together.

"Hey, guys," Rook sticks his head out from the kitchen, oblivious to the fact he's got some cookie crumbs on the corner of his mouth. "And no, everything smells wonderful in here, we really put a lot of effort into it this year. Especially the desserts."

"I can tell," Doc deadpans, but not without a hint of indulgent smile, and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt to help them with the last of the preparation. He's no stranger to her kitchen, after all. Lion hovering near the counter, on the other hand, definitely is, so Twitch ushers him to the table and points down at one of the chairs.

"Sit," she orders, which he follows without any complaint.

"He's only playing nice because it's you, you know," Doc grumbles to her, when they're left alone in the kitchen by chance. Twitch only snorts.

"So, it's a bad thing that he respects me enough to listen to me?"

"Well… no," he admits reluctantly, adding sauce over the plate of oven-baked trout fillet with a skilled flick of his wrist. Twitch steals a glance at the table, where Rook is trying to make a small talk with Lion, although it's impossible to tell about what, and more importantly how smoothly, from where she's standing. Lion is drumming his fingers against the table, feigning collected boredom, while his whole posture screams tension. Not used to saying yes to personal invitations, her brain provides. When he did, he must have had no idea that Montagne, his social bridge when it comes to team dynamic, would be missing from the scene.

"Try to give him a chance, Gus. Just for tonight."

Doc's fingers falter, in the middle of putting up the garnish, but only for a split second. When he answers his voice comes out soft and pensive.

“For tonight,” he agrees, and Twitch lets herself hope that maybe, just maybe this evening won't end as poorly as she had imagined.

~*~

In retrospect, hope rarely does anyone a favor.

With the help of warm, quality food and a few glasses of wine, Lion slowly loosens up, looking less out of place, his answers not so clipped anymore. He participates in the conversation without being pressed to, although his smiles are still rare and fleeting, and as the host Twitch could have counted it as a victory, was it not for the way―

"Your claim here is outrageous, Kateb," Lion blurts out, cutting her off from her thoughts, and at this point, she neither knows nor gives a fuck what their current argument is about, or who started it this time. No point in keeping the score when they're so determined to make it a tie.

"I have statistics to back me up, and I might have shared them with you if you weren't such a stubborn asshole," Doc replies, his enunciation precise, but Twitch knows it's just because he's putting extra effort not to slur. Lion growls, unfailingly rising to the bait.

"Statistics can be flawed, more so when they're taken from the field. Too many variables."

"Actually, they're from the lab. Admit you’re wrong, it really is more fatal than a heart attack. The survival rate is almost―"

Across the table, Rook shares a pained look with Twitch. This semi-drunk, almost childish bickering has been going for god-knows-how-long over several different subjects now, changing the topic only serving as a temporary solution, and while it's better than the full-scale war they usually wage against each other, it's still giving her a migraine. She drinks what's left in her glass nonstop and sets it down with more force than she has to. It's not like they would notice anyway. Her phone buzzes from her pocket, signalling an incoming call. Twitch fishes it out in a heartbeat, eager for anything to distract her from this.

"It's Gilles," she announces, which goes largely unheard amidst the raging debate. Calmly, she takes a deep breath and slams her fist on the table, hard, making all of the plates and glasses shudder and clatter in their places. Instantly three sets of eyes fly up to her, stunned, but finally no one is using their mouth for purposes other than gaping. Good.

“I said, it's Gilles on the phone, and I’m gonna pick up now, so everyone shut up and pretend to be happy.” Just before tapping on the receive button, she adds a belated please, which does nothing to soften the blow.

Lion is the first to recover from the shock, and he gets up from his seat to exit the dining room altogether, huffing out loud. Twitch directs her gaze toward Doc, who is adamantly not meeting her eyes, his face flushed with mild embarrassment. Rook, of all people, is the only one who looks vaguely apologetic.

"Gilles!" She answers, aiming for the bright tone and probably failing, and puts him on speaker. "Glad you called, I was planning to check up on you. The mission went pretty smooth, I heard?"

"Oh, better than smooth. Turned out they were just a bunch of amateurs. The bombs wouldn't have even detonated properly, Monika said. The actual hard part was dealing with the panicked citizens, wanting to know if the packages they've just got can be timebombs in gift wrappers."

Twitch hums sympathetically, the mental image of people swarming up to IQ demanding she should take a look at their present boxes with her detecting device―that may even contain questionable items, only that they’re not bombs―vivid in her head.  Doc and Rook scoot closer to add their own hellos, and Montagne is quick to notice the absence.

“I take it Olivier couldn’t make it?” he asks, and at his troubled tone Rook jumps in hurriedly to correct him.

“No, he's here. He just went to kitchen to fetch, uh, something.”

“He is?” Montagne sounds surprised, but also genuinely pleased, probably seeing the fact he didn't bail out as a personal progress, and would be terribly disappointed to find out he is still, to some degree, trying to. Twitch feels she has no choice but to jump into the lion’s den herself.

“Yeah, I’ll go and see what’s taking him so long,” she mutters and picks herself up from her seat to follow him outside.

She's ready to drag him in by force if needed, nevermind the solid thirty kilograms he has on her, but she hasn’t expected him to be actually heading back in, and almost bumps into him in the doorway. Lion takes a step back, quick apology on his lips.

“Gilles wants to talk with you,” Twitch informs him, but it comes out as an accusation. Lion, having no problem recognizing it, just nods along.

"I just needed to get some fresh air, before I go back to pretending I'm enjoying this... new-found peace treaty with our doctor," he smiles darkly, earning himself an incredulous stare.

“You call that peace?”

“Compared to what we normally do? Yes. We’re talking and not hating each other’s guts for once,” he shrugs, as Twitch steps aside to let him in.

“Whatever you say, but keep it down a notch. I’m positive my ears are bleeding by now.”

He does have a point though, so Twitch is willing to let the conversation slip as it is, but the way he casts his glance down and frowns suggests he has more to say, so she chooses to wait, despite the chilly air.

“I want to… thank you, for inviting me. I know I’m not the most welcomed person in house parties.”

Considering the context, his following smile could be more bitter, but it remains neutral. Not really self-deprecating, just stating what he’s accepted as a fact. The attitude suits him, Twitch thinks. Sharp and precise assessment delivered in the bluntest way possible, applied even to himself.

“No problem. The more the merrier, isn’t it? And cooking for one more isn’t that much of inconvenience,” she replies, and smiles as a thought crosses her mind. “You’re not that bad, as a guest. See, you're the only one with who brought gift today."

Lion makes an noncommittal noise at that, looking skeptical, and yes, maybe that only means he is still a guest in this house, when rest of them is a family, but it's a starting point, one that now Twitch is determined to make the most of it. And the thing about acquired family is, they all started from ground zero.

“Let’s go back in, poor Gilles must be thinking either we lied to him, or that you ran away. And in case you’re considering it, you’re not going anywhere before you try the desserts.”

"I wouldn't dare," Lion chuckles, and opens the door to the dining room. After a short break, the air feels pleasantly warm, overflowing with the rich smell of butter, chocolate, and cinnamon. It seems like Rook has begun to set out all the desserts, ever the enthusiast, while Doc has been keeping Montagne's company. Twitch momentarily forgets to announce their return, in favor of soaking in every detail of the scene, from the way the soft, golden light makes everyone's face glow in the same hue, to the sound of their shared laughter, feeling so fiercely right in place―and hopes one day, if not today, it would be the same for Lion as well.

[madeofstardust17]

Whumptober prompt 21. Hallucinations

Rating: G

Tw: none

Team as family

Oh boy is this angsty. There's a special bonus at the end bc it's my baby boy's bday.

...

The paladins of Voltron looked like scared teenagers.

They were teenagers, so young Shiro sometimes felt angry that they had to fight in a war, that he was leading a team of child soldiers. 

But today they looked like teens. Today, they weren’t the paladins of Voltron, they were lonely kids away from home. 

He scanned the room.

Lance was looking at the floor, hunched over with a sober look on his face. From time to time, his face would crumble as tears would spring to his eyes. He would shake his head and continue like nothing had happened. 

Hunk wasn’t moving at all, and was just covering his face with his hands.

Pidge’s face was blotchy and her eyes were bloodshot, but had stopped crying. 

And Keith just sat there, leaning into the sofa with his eyes closed, almost as if he were sleeping. 

Shiro ran a hand through his hair

“Guys” he called, they all looked at him “we have to talk about what happened”

Lance smiled humorlessly “there’s nothing to talk about” he said “we were captured and led to believe we were home, and then you woke us up and reality punched us in the face”

His voice shook slightly at the end.

No one spoke. 

And as Shiro opened his mouth to say something, Pidge scoffed and rubbed her eyes 

“Look at us, the mighty paladins of Voltron, falling to pieces because of some hallucinations” she barked out a laugh “We’re pathetic”

Shiro sprang up from his eat so fast everyone looked at him in shock.

“No” his voice was hard and even “I want you to listen to me very carefully” he lowered his tone, making it sound almost threatening. Lance and Hunk looked a bit scared but he didn’t care, he needed them to understand. 

He met everyone’s eyes one by one before speaking. 

“What happened today, those hallucinations, they’re psychological torture” he ran a hand through his hair again, suddenly nervous “I’ve seen it before, when I was a prisoner. I don’t know how they do it, but they make you see the people you want to see the most. Then those people ask you questions, regarding the information the galra want from you. If you still don’t answer them, the hallucination changes, and you see the people getting tortured” his expression darkened “I’ve seen the toughest aliens crying and pleading as they ‘see’ their loved ones tortured”

Silence filled the room. Finally, Pidge broke it 

“Have they ever used it on you? Is that why you were able to wake up?”

Shiro shook his head with a wry smile 

“No. They made me see my grandfather... and Adam” Keith, who was looking at the ground again, looked at him briefly, but quickly looked away when Shiro caught his eye.

“My grandfather was the one who raised me. He died shortly after I graduated from the Garrison”

Pidge looked down at her lap

“Oh”

More silence as they all lost themselves in their thoughts.

Shiro allowed this for a few minutes before he spoke again.

“We need to talk about it”

“Why?” He wasn’t surprised when he saw Keith tense up, already defensive. Shiro glared right back

“Because it’s important. Because we have been tortured today and I’d be one shitty leader if I let you walk out of here without talking about it” he looked around the room “now… who’s going to start?”

Silence again. Until…

“You all saw my reaction” Pidge huffed. Shiro was surprised, he had expected Pidge to be second-to-last, Keith being the obvious last. 

“I was crying until we reached the lions. I saw Matt, and my dad, and mom” she didn’t say anything for a few moments “is it wrong that I wanted to stay there? That I wanted to believe it was real?”

“No” Lance told her. He looked like he wanted to reach out and hug her, but looked scared about the reaction. He met Shiro’s eye, asking, and Shiro nodded subtly. Lance put an arm around Pidge. She leaned into him.

“I left my mom alone” she said, and her voice sounded unusually high “she doesn’t know if I’m alive. I told myself that I was doing the right thing when I ran away, but-“ her voice broke

“You feel guilty” Lance finished. She nodded, a few tears running down her cheeks.

“Katie” Pidge looked up, looking at Shiro with big honey eyes, which seemed amplified by the tears.

“We’re going to find your family. And when we do, because we will, you’re going to get them home, and you’re going to give your mom the biggest hug and apologize. And you’ll probably be grounded for the rest of your life” he said the last phrase quickly, and smiled when it made her laugh.

“Yeah” she agreed, rubbing her eye.

It wasn’t a perfect fix, Shiro told himself, but at least she had gotten it out of her chest. 

When she didn’t speak anymore, Shiro looked at the three boys.

And this time it was Hunk who spoke up.

He looked pale, and his eyes were widened with horror.

“I was telling my parents about voltron” he said, and Shiro’s heart sank.

“How much?” 

“I was telling them about you when you woke me up”

Shiro nodded, exhaling slowly 

“They already know a lot about me, I doubt the learnt much”

“I’m so sorry” 

His eyes were filled with tears, and he looked like he was going to be sick.

“It’s okay, Hunk” Shiro smiled at him “you didn’t do any harm”

“I knew there was something off, I could feel it” His voice was unusually husky now, and he was staring at the floor, as if transfixed.

“Hunk. Look at me”

He did, and a few tears escaped his red eyes. 

“You have great instincts, Hunk. Listen to them. Something doesn’t feel right? You come tell me, or whoever you are with at the moment. Your gut hasn’t failed us yet” 

Hunk nodded, sending his way a small but truthful smile. 

Shiro gave Hunk a few moments to add something, and when he didn’t, he turned to the youngest of the boys

“Lance?”

Shiro had been surprised when Lance hadn’t been first to share, as he usually was. Now he looked more like Keith, defensive and closed off.

“I’ve already told” he said, crossing his arms “I thought I was home, and reality punched me in the face”

“You miss your home” 

Lance nodded curtly, and then flicked away a tear like it was a pesky fly.

“It doesn’t matter” 

“It does matter, Lance”

“It doesn’t. Being homesick won’t defeat Zarkon, and I’ve already bothered you all with this before-“

“You’re not a bother, Lance” Shiro cut him off. Lance hung his head but didn’t respond. 

There was silence for a few moments.

“The thing about leaving a home…” Shiro looked at Keith, eyes wide. Keith continued, not looking away from Lance “is that the only way to quell homesickness is to find people that become home”

Lance went to speak, looking doubtful

“Take it from a kid who’s been in the system since he was eight”

The smirk that he sent Lance was gentle, not at all like he’s usual ones. 

“Does it ever stop?” His voice was hoarse 

“Not completely” Keith didn’t hesitate. 

Lance seemed thankful Keith had told the truth, and smiled at him. 

“I saw my dad” Keith said, leaning back and closing his eyes “big surprise there, he’s the only one I miss”

“Hey, Keith?” Pidge seemed hesitant. Keith hummed in question 

“Do you ever miss earth?” 

Keith opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, thinking about it

“Sometimes. I miss sunsets, and my hoverbike, and my shack” he glanced at Pidge and smiled “but like I said, you guys are my home” 

Everyone smiled, and Shiro felt pride rising in his chest. 

He remembered the lonely, angry kid he had met, and marveled at the young man that sat in front of him. 

“Shiro?” 

Shiro jumped a bit, looking at Pidge 

“What?”

“You need to say something too” Shiro frowned

“I already said” 

“That didn’t count”

Shiro thought about it. 

He couldn’t deny seeing Adam had made his heart ache, like an old wound in bad weather. 

“I made peace with my grandfather’s death a long time ago, but I guess it hurt seeing Adam again, so happy to see me”

It was Lance who spoke this time 

“Do you still love him?”

“I… Yeah” he said softly “I do” he scoffed “but I doubt he would take me back even if he hadn’t found someone else. I messed up”

“Yeah you did” 

Shiro turned to look at Keith.

“When you disappeared, we stuck together for a while” he huffed out a laugh “we either cursed you to oblivion or we’d praise you”

He smiled, and then it faltered 

“God, we were so hurt” 

He looked at shiro, his eyes hard

“I don’t know if he’ll take you back, but I can promise you, he loved you even when you left”

Shiro smiled at him, a little sadly, but a little hopeful too.

“Thank you, Keith”

He looked around at his team.

The guilty, the sorry, the hurt and the mourning.

But he also saw something else in their expressions, the strange sort of peace that you get when you’re surrounded by loved ones.

By family.

And shiro knew he had done well today.

…

A bonus for Keith’s b-day:

They all lingered in the lounge room that night after dinner, instead of going to their bedrooms as usual. 

Every time Shiro brought up going to bed, they would all try to ignore the comments. 

Finally, the conversation drifted off, leaving a tense silence. 

Shiro sighed. Teenagers 

“Alright” he called “who wants to stay here tonight”

They all raised their hands.

10 minutes later, they were all laying down in the middle of the circle the couched formed. 

They lay in their usual places: Shiro sandwiched between Keith and Pidge, Hunk in pidges other side, and Lance next to Keith, although this particular combination usually ended in bickering, and the two boys sulking as they were hit with multiple pillows. 

Not tonight though.

Tonight they were all pleasantly dozing, maybe a little closer than they usually were, but no one pointed it out.

Pidge’s clocked bipped, signaling midnight. 

Shiro turned to his side

“Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?” He mumbled 

“Happy birthday kiddo” he muttered, dropping a kiss on his head. 

Keith's eyes opened

“Oh. Right”

They looked at each other before Keith huffed out a laugh 

“I can’t believe you remembered”

“I can’t believe you forgot”

“Shut uuuupppp” Pidge moaned 

“It’s Keith’s birthday” Shiro said. Keith groaned and buried his face on his pillow.

Pidge immediately sat up, wide awake. 

“Whoa, really?”

“Why didn’t you tell, Mullet?” Lance whacked Keith’s shoulder 

“I forgot” he mumbled, still buried underneath his pillow.

“Tomorrow- or later today I suppose- I’ll make those cookies you like so much” Hunk said.

That got Keith to abandon his hiding place. 

He looked at Hunk hopefully

“Really?”

Hunk was weak to those big indigo eyes 

“Of course” 

He beamed at him, his whole face lighting up. 

“We should all go raid Coran’s alcohol stash” Lance said “I know for a fact that he has more than nunvill in there”

“Absolutely not” Shiro spoke up, voice hard 

“You’re no fun” Lance pouted. Keith snickered, feeling warm inside.

Silence followed, only broken by

“Happy birthday, Keith”

“Happy birthday, man”

“Happy b-day, buddy” 

Keith grinned

“Thanks guys”

…

“You know, tomorrow I could cut your mullet, it’d be my birthday present to-“

“GOOD NIGHT LANCE”

...

Would you look at that? Not a cheesy ending. Comments give me life :)