#that guy drank too many milk

[bbqhooligan]

The Whisper Of Forest sounds like its on Twilight Soundtrack which is the highest compliment i can pay a song.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Second Time's The Charm IV

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: Alexia gets her puppies

His name was Kitchen Sink Putellas, though everyone just called him Sinky.

His name came about by accident just like him.

Alexia would say that it was fate. You could swear she had set you up for it.

It had happened on one of your night walks.

Maya was a bit of a restless baby so you had found that going out for a little walk in the early evening was good to get her to fall asleep without too many tears.

You were pushing her pram gently as Alexia chattered your ear off about getting a puppy. With the house fully completed and all three of you moved in, Alexia was adamant about getting Maya a puppy.

She seemed to forget that you already had a family pet in the form of old Mr Stinky, the extremely senior cat that you had gotten at seventeen from your parents.

At thirteen years old now, he was very slow and slept a lot but he was your little furbaby and you just adored him.

Alexia, less so but she had always been a dog person, which was why you weren't surprised when you saw she had adopted little Nala.

Even through social media, you could see just how much she adored Nala and just how heartbroken she was when Nala unexpectedly passed away.

You could still see the pain lingering in her eyes now when she spoke about getting a puppy for Maya.

Alexia had adored Nala and hadn't thrown a single thing away, still packed up in a box she thought she had hidden in the back of the closet.

You got into a relationship with Alexia knowing she was a dog person and, while she secretly loved Mr Stinky, you knew no animal would come close to being loved like how a dog would be loved.

You had already been convinced weeks ago but you weren't letting Alexia know that. You were curious to see just how far she was willing to go.

You were focused completely on Maya's sleepy face as Alexia spoke. You hadn't even noticed she stopped talking until you turned to look at her.

She was crouched on the ground, her hand offered out to a little puppy on the side of the road.

"Hi, little guy," She cooed," It's okay. I'm here to help."

The little puppy whined, taking a step forward before retreating again when Alexia reached for him.

"It's okay," She said again," Come here. Let's get you some help."

He was a tiny thing. Absolutely tiny and he shook in Alexia's arms when she finally managed to pick him up.

You reached into Maya's baby bag to pull out a spare blanket, helping Alexia to wrap him up nice and warm.

"We need to take him home, amor," Alexia said, suddenly deadly serious," I can't see his Mama anywhere. He is alone."

You glanced around the area, brows furrowed.

Alexia took that as refusal and she looked ready to get on her knees. "Amor, please! You cannot think we should leave him here!"

"Take the puppy and Maya home, Alexia," You said, whipping out your phone," He doesn't look old enough to be weaned. I'll try and find him some food. I'll meet you back at the house."

You watched Alexia gently place the blanket wrapped puppy in Maya's pram with her before sprinting down the street with the speed only a professional athlete could possess.

It was late out but you paid extra for puppy milk and wet food to be delivered in a few hours. It was a flimsy excuse to make but you just couldn't shake the thought that this puppy wasn't completely alone.

It wasn't a rural area that you lived in but there was a park that backed into a little wooded area and surely you would have noticed if the puppy had been dumped in a box.

You flicked on your phone light to wander through the park. You checked everywhere you could before you came across a little bush.

The soft barks were enough to confirm your suspicions and your heart broke at the sight.

She was panting heavily, lying on her side as a throng of puppies drank from her. A heavy stick of wood was planted firmly in the ground and a piece of rope was fixed like a noose around her neck.

She wasn't aggressive as you released her. If anything, she sagged in relief and allowed you to gently stroke her fure.

She was some kind of collie though in the low light, you couldn't quite tell what kind.

You'd had a rough collie as a child. Good old Mr Porkchop who had been put down when you were eleven.

He had always been well looked after though, the pride of your father's life. This collie was nothing like Mr Porkchop though and you dialled Alba instantly.

"Alba? Can you come to the park near our house? I'm going to need your help."

Alexia was desperately working at the kitchen sink when you came in. Her sleeves were pushed up to her shoulders as she desperately scrubbed at the little puppy, trying to get him all warm.

A ring of soap was around his neck.

Clearly, she had listened to your lecture a few weeks ago about how it prevented fleas from climbing onto the heads of animals.

"Amor!" She called out behind her after hearing the front door open," I'm just getting him washed! I put him up on the counter while I changed Maya into her pjs but he fell in! I think he's chosen his name!"

"Alexia?"

"I know it will be a lot of work," She continued," But I promise I will take great care of him. We can set him up next to one of the portable heaters tonight and I've got the day off tomorrow so I'll take him to the vet and-"

"Alexia."

"I know you said Maya is still young and I know you think keeping a puppy this little is dangerous but-"

"Alexia Putellas!"

She turned. "What is-?"

"I found his Mama and siblings," You said plainly, leading the mama in gently as Alba trailed behind you with the other puppies," I've ordered food already and we'll have to take them in to the vet tomorrow."

"Amor..."

"Now." You gently guided the mama to a pile of pillows as Alba reunited her puppies with her. "What's this about his name?"

The puppies and mama were all healthy or, at least on their way to being healthy. The mama had no collar and no microchip. The vet theorised she was part of some puppy mill because she was barely out of puppyhood herself.

You knew by Alexia's face that you would be keeping them all. The Mama, Sinky and his extra three sisters.

You were nervous about it all but Alexia really took the reigns, a far cry from the thirteen-year-old version of her that once cried when you made her leave a cute dog being walked by its owner at the park.

Maya adored the puppies as well and seemed to know to be gentle. Even Mr Stinky seemed to enjoy their presence, taking shifts when the mama was sleeping to make sure that none of the puppies got into mischief.

Mainly, you were impressed about how long it took Alexia to spill about having puppies in the house.

Four weeks since you found them and you finally allowed Alexia to take them into training.

"I'll be out with the others soon," Alexia promised as she wrapped Sinky up in a blanket.

"Ale," You said," He doesn't need the blanket anymore. He's a big boy."

"He's a baby!" Alexia insisted, wrapping him up like a baby in a swaddle.

You rolled your eyes. "Go and bring out your teammates, Ale."

She practically skipped into the locker room with her little bundle of blankets.

Mapi was the first one she noticed and paled dramatically. "No!" She declared," No, you can't be serious, Alexia! You've already got one baby! You can't have gotten another one so soon!"

"Don't be silly, Mapi!" Alexia laughed," We didn't get another baby. Now yet anyway."

"Then what is that?!"

"Sinky!"

Sinky barked happily as he was uncovered by the blankets.

Ingrid rubbed Mapi's back as she hid in her girlfriend's neck.

"Sinky?" Keira echoed," Like Sinclair from Canada?"

"Don't be silly," Alexia said," Because it's short for Kitchen Sink, which is his name."

Mapi might have burst into tears.

"But there's more!" Alexia continued," Come on, come on! I'll show you!"

She sprinted out of the room and her teammates scrambled to keep up with her.

She'd traded in her old Cupra a few weeks ago for a much more family friendly minivan and she pulled open the door.

The first and most obvious thing everyone saw was Maya, happily in her seat waving one of her stuffed toys to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star which was playing in the car.

The next was the beautiful brown and white Border Collie, Lady. You had laughed a little bit about the name Alexia had bestowed upon her, making a joke about her enjoying naming dogs after Disney characters.

Sweet Lady sat in the seat next to Maya, laying her soft head on your baby's legs.

Her three remaining puppies wrestled in the stair well and all came falling out as soon as the door was open.

"Oh no," You heart Mapi say.

Alexia smiled triumphantly. "Oh yes!"

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 16

Part 16:

Patrick heard Liana vomiting faintly and it made him jump out of bed. "Li, is everything okay?" he asked from outside the bathroom. "Everything's great, go back to sleep," she stammered, and he sighed. He went to the kitchen and filled a glass of water, entered the bathroom, and saw her sitting on the floor, holding her hair with one hand and gripping the edge of the toilet with the other, trying to steady herself.

"Hey, baby, it's okay. I got you," he mumbled, placing the glass on the sink and sitting down next to Liana, holding her hair in place and tracing gentle shapes on her shoulder. She was shaking from the effort as her free hand also moved to hold onto the toilet.

"Sorry I woke you," she mumbled after a few minutes, not moving her head out of fear of vomiting again. "Don't be silly, is it something you ate?" he asked. His eyebrows furrowed as he handed her the water. "There was only regular milk at work, I probably drank one cup of coffee too many yesterday," she mumbled, and as soon as she finished speaking, she vomited again, and they found themselves in the same position.

"Come on," after a few minutes of this, he helped her get up from the floor. Patrick spread toothpaste on her toothbrush and put it in her mouth, starting to move it side to side. Liana could cry. She felt the tears gathering at the back of her eyes, in moments like these she remembers how gentle and sensitive Patrick can be. If he only wants to, if he cares enough.

He stood in the bathroom while she showered and didn't take his eyes off her, not in a sexual way but out of genuine concern. Because at the end of the day, Patrick loves her, even if sometimes he doesn't know how to show it.

"Shall we go back to sleep?" he asked hopefully. "There's no point, I feel better and in half an hour, I would've had to get up anyway," she shrugged as he handed her a towel. "Li, maybe you should stay home today?" he asked, even though he knew the answer. "I'm on a schedule and in a few days, the construction starts, I need to get there to fix some drawings. If I'm lucky, I might be able to leave earlier," she smiled at him. "I don't know..." he tried to protest. Just ten minutes ago, she was shaking in his hands, and now he has to let her get dressed and leave the house. "I'm fine Pat, really. I'll drink tea today, and I'll be okay," she gave him a small kiss on the lips and left the bathroom, concluding the conversation.

"Then there must be a pillar here, otherwise the whole thing will collapse, and we didn't draw it in the sketch." Art heard Liana's voice from afar, like an echo. He automatically found himself walking towards her, because that's why Art came. He didn't really care about the construction schedule; as far as he was concerned, the longer this thing took, the more time he had to come and see her work. An excuse to be close without being creepy.

"Hey," he gave a small wave, keeping his distance from her conversation but letting her know he was there. "Mr. Donaldson," she mumbled, and so did the guy working with her. Art could say that nothing happens in his body when she calls him 'Mr. Donaldson'. That formality in front of people doesn't affect him at all. It doesn't send a little shiver through him. No memories surface, and he certainly doesn't imagine that one day she might be 'Mrs. Donaldson'. He could say all that, but he tries not to lie too much.

"Miss Levy," he returned a toothy smile, and she walked towards him. "Why are you here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Where? On the land I bought?" he was amused. Now that she was closer, he could examine her. He wondered if he would ever get used to the fact that she needed glasses now when she worked. Or the small wrinkle that formed on the side of her mouth from the number of times she smiled and laughed. He wished it was because of him. Too many times he thinks about the number of things he could tell her that would make her laugh enough to deepen that wrinkle.

"You look... green." he mumbled after a few seconds. She was pale, even for her. "It's January, I turn green in January." she retorted. "Liana." he tried a more official tone, a bit more concerned. "I'm fine, Arthur, let it go. Can I ask a favor?" she asked, looking at him with big eyes. Making him raise an eyebrow. There are very few things Liana could ask of him that he wouldn't agree to do. She must know that by now. "Always." he said quicker than his ego was happy to hear. "Can you give me Tashi's number?" she asked and saw his surprised look. "Why? Are you trying to steal my coach for your lazy boyfriend?" he asked, feigning amusement. He didn't understand the endgame of this move. Overall, he didn't understand what Liana had to talk about with Tashi; Liana hates tennis, and from what Art knows, Tashi enjoys talking mostly about tennis. "don't call Patrick lazy, can you give it to me or not?" she didn't answer him. "Will it hurt my interests?" he asked, pulling out his phone. "I would never do that, Art." she sighed, and he sent her the number. There are very few things Art Donaldson wouldn't give to Liana Levy.

Liana waved for a second when she saw Tashi entering the café where they had agreed to meet. She couldn't help but feel tense and wondered how to calm her jittery leg. Why couldn't she just act like a normal person and be more…cool.

"Hey, Liana, what's up? Sorry if I'm late." Tashi was a bit confused. A bit was an understatement. Tashi was very confused. 'Hey, it's Liana, if you have free time, I'd really appreciate it if we could meet' was the message she received yesterday, and that's how she found herself in a café, sitting in front of the girl Art has been trying to fuck without success for God knows how long. Tashi couldn't help but wonder what Art's tennis would look like if he succeeded.

"All good. I'm early." Liana smiled. "Do you want to order something to eat?" she asked, and Tashi waved at the waiter, asking for coffee. Her energy was businesslike. Always in a hurry. Always busy. It didn't matter that she came from the rain. It didn't matter if she was cold or hot. She had no time to waste. "What's up, Liana?" Tashi asked after a few more minutes of awkward silence. "Is this about Art?" she added. "No... Art's not involved." she answered too quickly. Why did she answer so quickly? "So how can I help you?" she asked, taking a sip of the coffee that had just arrived.

"I don't have many friends here." Liana took a deep breath. She knew how it sounded. Desperate and pathetic. But she had no choice. She really didn't know who to talk to. "So... you want me to?" Tashi looked horrified for a moment. Not understanding what situation she had gotten into. "God, no." Liana's eyes widened. "Can you stop with the leg? It's driving me crazy." Tashi said. All the chaotic energy Liana was emitting didn't suit her. It almost threw her off balance.

"I'm pregnant." Liana said quietly right after she took a sip of her tea. She examined Tashi, who looked back at her. "Patrick?" Tashi asked, and Liana looked at her horrified. "Of course it's Patrick's. Whose else?!" she defended herself. "So, congratulations, I guess?" Tashi still didn't understand why she was there. Why her time was being wasted with news about her ex from years ago. If it's not Art's child, if it doesn't become Tashi's problem, why bother filling her brain with this unnecessary information.

"No. I don't want this." Liana said, and Tashi couldn't hide her surprise. "I'm Sorry, what?" she couldn't stop herself. "It was a mistake. I'm on the pill, and I really don't know how it happened. I need to stop this..." Liana mumbled. It wasn't coherent, but Tashi understood every word. "You've been together for years, Liana, I don't understand..." Tashi tried to be more sensitive. "It's just not the right time. We need more stability, and bringing a child into something like this is just not fair." she said, looking at her for a change.

"I would go alone, but I need someone to be listed as an escort," she averted her gaze as she said it. Ashamed of what she was asking from the girl in front of her, a complete stranger in her life, yet the only one she could think of. "Patrick?" Tashi asked quietly. "He doesn't know." Liana's eyes filled with tears. "Please-" she had been thinking about this monologue from the moment she found out, three days ago. "Okay" there was no need. Tashi answered immediately. "Okay, I'll go with you." she smiled the most genuine smile she had to offer.  "Thank you." they both took a sip of their drinks.  The rain outside intensified.

When Liana entered the house, Patrick was in the kitchen, and she quietly leaned on the doorframe, watching him while he wasn't looking. Thinking about what she was going to do tomorrow. Knowing it's for their own good. He wouldn't understand if she told him. He wouldn't understand, and he would want to keep it, and neither of them could raise a child right now. She knows that. She knows he will hate her no matter what she decides tomorrow. If he finds out, he will feel trapped. He will feel like she has ruined his life. Again. Little by little. Each time draining him of the last drop of joy left in him. The last drop of youth.

"Are you just staring now? Not saying hello?" he asked, amused. He had felt her gaze on him for a few minutes. "Hey," she approached him and hugged him from behind. Leaning on his shoulder and closing her eyes. "Hey, Lilo," he was confused. Not understanding the sudden closeness. The last few days had been strange, to say the least. Liana and Patrick hadn't fought even once. She hadn't been feeling well, and he mostly tried not to bother her with his presence. He was afraid of making her feel even worse than she already did, and the more he distanced himself, the closer she got. The more space he gave her, the more she sought touch.

"What are you making?" she asked quietly, not moving an inch, still with her eyes closed. "I'm pretty useless, but I called your mom, and she gave me a recipe for the soup you like," he said quietly. "You called my mom?" she asked in a half-broken voice. "You haven't been well for a few days, Lilo. I wanted to make something that would make you feel good," their gazes met.

Liana started crying, and Patrick panicked. These weren't just tears welling up in her eyes but real crying with her hands on her face. "Hey, hey, Liana. What's going on?" he gently took her hands off her face, revealing how red she had become in those seconds, how sad she was. His hug was comforting. More comforting than anything she had felt recently. "I'm such a bitch. Really," she mumbled. "Lilo, you're the kindest person I know," he chuckled above her head, tracing small shapes on her shoulder while gently rocking her, trying to soothe her in any way he could.

"I really love you. You know that, right?" she pulled away from him for a second and studied him. "Of course, I know," he replied, "I don't understand what's going on, Lil. I need you to talk to me." He was half-lost, not understanding what he did or what she did that led to this situation. "I don't say it enough, but I really love you, Patrick. More than I love most people in the world," she said again, unable to stop the tears. "I know. I really know," he replied, hugging her once more, not letting her slip away from him. "You're okay. Whatever it is, we're okay," he said, and she nodded into him.

Liana also thinks that most of the time, they are okay.

The months that passed were more of the same. Liana worked on Art's house, meeting with him once or twice a week to show him the project's progress. Every time he tried to have a conversation beyond professional matters, Liana cut him off. She owed that to Patrick. She owed it to herself and Patrick to be okay. She couldn't let herself betray him emotionally with someone who, the moment he had a hold on her emotions, her entire system would recalibrate around him again.

The calm dynamic between Liana and Patrick lasted exactly two weeks. Liana was quite sure they didn’t know how to manage without fighting to the point where she wanted to smash a plate against the wall. Sometimes they went to bed without exchanging a single word, and those were the days it was hardest for her to be near him. Those were the days she also canceled meetings with Art because Patrick made her so angry she became indifferent. And indifference leads to mistakes. She knew that. She had seen it up close.

Now, with both Art and Patrick participating in the tournament in Atlanta, Liana found herself ordering coffee and soda at the hotel bar while opening her laptop, hoping to tie up some loose ends before sitting down with Art for a few minutes tomorrow. "Hey, Liana," she heard Tashi’s voice from behind. They hadn’t been in touch since that time, when Tashi went with her. But Liana had a soft spot for the woman in front of her. She used to be so afraid of her once, trembling when exchanging more than a word with her. Today she thought she and Tashi saw each other with flaws and strengths. Sometimes Liana didn’t know what her strengths were, but she always knew Tashi’s.

"Hey," she smiled at her. "Mind if I sit for a bit while I wait for my order for Art and me?" she asked. "Is he sending you to fetch orders now?" Liana raised an eyebrow. It was uncharacteristic. "Actually, no, I saw you from afar and didn’t want his mind to be distracted." Tashi said, and Liana rolled her eyes, wanting to say something. "There’s no way I could distract him right now. Not before I finish working, nothing to talk to him about" she said, and Tashi rolled her eyes and chuckled. Liana wasn’t entirely sure if something was happening between Tashi and Art. It wasn’t her place to ask him, she wasn’t in contact with Tashi, and her parents hadn’t told her anything special as gossip as they usually did about his life. Maybe it was just friendly, and she was purely his coach, but Liana didn’t want to be in the middle of it. She wasn’t going to disrupt Art’s happiness. She was with Patrick. Most of the time, she was happy with Patrick.

"Has he ever shown you his necklace?" Tashi asked. "Excuse me?" Liana was confused. "Art, has he ever shown you his necklace?" she asked again, slower, like speaking to a child. "No, I never asked, and it’s always under his shirt," Liana shrugged as Tashi took her order. "He’s such a pussy," she shook her head from side to side, chuckling. "So dominant on the court and yet, such a coward. Unbelievable. Good to see you, send my regards to Patrick," she smiled and walked toward the exit, not giving Liana a chance to respond.

Art was terrified. He was bored, so he went down to the lobby half an hour before the time he had arranged with Liana. He was so happy he could see her in person and knowing she was also in Atlanta, that he didn’t care the only reason they were meeting was to talk about the house. But now he felt the air leave his lungs. He saw Tashi and Patrick. Holding hands. Like that. In the fucking lobby. And while Tashi didn’t owe anyone anything, Patrick owed Liana. And Art was supposed to be happy because he understood what was happening. It was Patrick. No matter how much time passed, he knew Patrick.

When he returned his gaze to where they had been sitting, after giving someone an autograph, they were gone. His heart was beating faster than usual. He felt like crying. He was supposed to be happy, but all he could think about was Liana’s face and that he was about to be someone who told her something that would make her cry. Again. He swore to himself he'd never make her cry again, but he was about to. And he hated it.

"Donaldson," she smiled at him, causing him to jump in his chair. "How did you get so startled, you were practically looking at me," she rolled her eyes, and he smiled at her. "What’s wrong?" she asked. His smile was fake. Liana hated that she could still tell if his smile was fake. "Nothing, just thoughts about the tournament." he said. "You crushed your competitor today, you’ll be fine." she rolled her eyes. "Mind if I order some wine? It’ll help me sleep." she added. He didn’t know she liked to drink wine. "Of course. I would order some too, but, you know." he replied, somewhat pleased she was allowing herself to relax a bit around him. It took her only a year.

"So, I’ll show you a few things and then let you go." she said, sipping her wine, and he nodded. "Hit me." "Question, while the computer loads." she said, and he looked at her. Liana hated how his green hoodie made the bright blue of his eyes stand out. She had never seen so many shades of blue as when she looked closely at Art Donaldson’s eyes.

"Talk to me." he leaned on his elbow, not taking his eyes off her. A little reveling in the moment. A little afraid to ruin it. A little wanting to ruin it. Because the voice in his head told him he had to tell her. Liana had to know. She deserved to know. Art deserved a chance. He would never do this to her.

"What’s the story with your necklace?" she asked, and he raised an eyebrow, quickly running a hand over the back of his neck. "There’s no story." he answered too quickly. He wanted to punch himself for it. "Arthur. Come on, what’s the deal, you didn’t wear a necklace when we were kids. Is it a gift from someone?" she asked. "Are you keeping track of my jewelry, Liana? Be careful, I might think you care about me more than you let on." he knew it would make her change the subject. He wouldn’t tell, but the blush on her cheeks and the big sip she took from her wine only made the conversation better.

"This is the final plan. They started the interior construction two days ago." she showed him a diagram on the computer, moving a bit closer to him. Close enough for her scent to hit him like a slap in the face. He wanted to dive into that closeness. To reach out. To tell her and immediately promise everything would be okay. That he would be there to pick up the pieces. He knew he could.

"I saw Patrick and Tashi earlier." he said quietly, almost in a whisper. Not taking his eyes off her. "Oh, I didn’t know they were in touch..." Liana said, not moving her eyes from the computer. "Liana," he sighed. He hoped she would understand from the previous sentence. That he wouldn’t have to say it. "What?" she looked at him and chuckled, but her smile quickly faded when she saw his expression, "Just say what you have to say, Donaldson." she said with an uncharacteristic coldness.

She knew Art too well. Every time she tried to deny it, she could precisely recognize a look he gave or a joke that no one around understood. She knew how to tell by his walking pace to a construction site if he had a good practice or if he was tired. She knew who he was at his core. And more than anything, she knew how he looked when he was about to break her heart.

"They were holding hands and then disappeared from my sight," he sighed, breathing heavily. He said it in a whisper, almost not wanting to say what had been weighing on him. "Oh." she drank all that was left of her wine in one gulp and signaled the waiter she wanted another glass, returning her gaze to the computer. "I need to finish a few things, and I believe we can wrap everything up in two months. After that, you’ll need to work with an interior designer-" "Liana." Art interrupted her and placed his hand on hers, giving it a slight squeeze. This made her move her hand to her leg.

Without realizing it, tears welled up in her eyes, and the waiter who brought her wine hurried away from the table as fast as he arrived. "Talk to me, please." he was desperate to know what was going through her mind. "It’s okay, it’s whatever," she shrugged and looked at him indifferently, letting one of her tears fall.

"Liana." he sighed. "How is it okay? He’s cheating on you." Art wanted to raise his voice. He wasn’t mad at her. He was mad at Patrick. He was mad at the circumstances. He was mad at himself. "I know what holding hands and disappearing with Tashi Duncan means for someone like Patrick, Art. Contrary to what you think, I’m not stupid." her words were almost venomous, but he knew she wasn’t lashing out at him. He knew he was the closest person right now. He was ready to take it.

"What do you think is happening here?" she asked, taking another big sip of wine. "That I’ll hear about Tashi and Patrick and go up to your room so you can fuck me until I forget all my problems?" she asked, and he almost choked on his own spit. He didn’t expect her to be so blunt. That sentence showed how long she’d been in a relationship with Patrick. He spoke through her.

"No, Liana." he sighed again. Running his hand over the back of his neck once more but this time leaving it there a little longer. "I’m content in my relationship. Shit happens." she finished the second glass in one go and closed the laptop, ready to leave. "Shit happens? How many times has it already happened, Liana?" he couldn’t believe the level of indifference. He wanted to shake her so hard that her brain would reset and go back to the beginning. To reboot her self-respect that had clearly been trampled on more than once.

"Bye Art, good luck tomorrow." she muttered and turned. This time his grip on her hand was firm above the table. She wouldn’t be able to move him. Not now. "You’re making a scene." she whispered. He couldn’t help but think about the power dynamics between them now that she was standing and he was sitting, but he was holding her. She couldn’t move as long as he was holding her. And if it were up to him, he would hold her forever.

"Look. Here." he did the only thing he could think of and pulled the pendant of the necklace over his shirt. Seeing her breath catch for a moment. "Is that...?" She couldn't find the words and automatically moved her free hand over the metal. "Yes." He whispered. His grip loosened, and he let his fingers intertwine with hers over the table without her pulling away. "Why?" She murmured, not stopping her hand from moving over the pendant, her dorm key. The key he refused to return to her time and again. Hanging around his neck. "You know why." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Why?" She asked again. Not letting go. She had to hold on to something, and he knew that if he wanted to give her a moment of peace, even if not for himself—because for himself, he would have chosen another way to tell her, to show her—that all these years, she had been his good luck charm, even from afar. Right now, she was the only one who mattered. Only succeeding in changing the way she looked at herself and what she thought she deserved. "Because I’m yours. I’ve always been only yours."

Oh my god!!! I hope it wasn't too long. I feel like so much has happened in this part, but we are finally in Atlanta. What are you thinking guys? We've got a bit more Tashi on this one. I love hearing from you, so talk to me. Thanks for still reading and commenting. It means the actual world. 

taglist: @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[macabremadness]

fiddleford mcgucket is so AUUUUGHFHSHSGFJ like he is crazy he is a silly goose. just a guy from tennessee who knows how to build literally anything and wanted to make tech to improve peoples lives first like mf built the first portable laptop and cell phone and got NO credit. he wanted to make robot legs cuz he didn't wanna walk but imagine if he was able to actually make some as mobility aid anyways i think about that a lot

that one time ford suggested to gather the cute little living minerals to help them lead them out the cave tunnels while fiddleford instead just picked them up and banged them together to relight the lantern and they all just scattered and one bit ford. he's so smart <3

weird cows producing weird milk that might be dangerous for human consumption? fidds fuckin drank that shit straight out the bucket. and i think he took it with him the rest of the way cuz he dramatically spit it out upon seeing cso

hes like a chihuahua to me he just stands there and pathetically shakes but then he also gets really feisty and bites. he canonically growls as an old man

how many gifts has fiddleford given ford at this point? like hes given him an axolotl, handmade gloves, a handmade snow globe, a custom laptop, squash with a human face, essentially his life. "hey what is the universe was a hologram" had the trajectory of his life changed forever. LIKE BEFORE BACKUPSMORE HE NEVER EVEN DRANK COFFEE and then ford is just "oh yeah i gave him like 15 cups or something"

AUGH THE GLOVES AND THE SNOW GLOBE..... "gee ford how come you get TWO presents" says emma may with nothing. LIKE HIM AND FORD HAD SUCH A GREAT CHRISTMAS AFTER THE KRAMPUS THING BUT LIKE I FEEL BAD FOR TATE MAN AND YALL ALREADY KNOW MCGUCKET CARES ABOUT HIS SON SO GODDAMN MUCH

(violently cries)

his ass is NOT afraid to use the memory gun on people like hes made people build the portal and the bunker for free and wiped their memories and hasnt been afraid to wipe ford's too like damn man. hes a little too trigger happy. he also made an entire cult because of it and then forgot he made an entire cult

he made the bunker security room. he decided it would be a good idea to crush intruders to death. not to mention all the destructive robots hes made in his crazy old man era. i love him at his best and his worst your honor

we salute 45th president mcgucket, gave out free robot spiders. and he prevented the entire covid pandemic. it's so funny to me cuz he took over northwest manor first and then the white house. i would be fine if the whole world had one ruler and it was mcgucket and you know he would find a way to turn himself into an immortal robot he will NEVER die

he's married to a racoon. has not even questioned his marriage once. that racoon is tate's step mom and i don't even think he questions it at this point either. we salute first lady of the united states raccoon wife

also give it up for parallel fiddleford!! literally from the canon "everything went right" au. portal wouldn't exist without our fidds and the quantum destabilizer wouldn't exist without parallel fidds give it up for all two canon fiddlefords carrying ford 🙏 anyways where's all the au content of that specific universe—

not to mention mcgucket's entire story arc which i really cannot put into words rn in this dumb post because its so AAUUUGH you feel me?

anyways yeah. this post is absolutely not coherent but i just think fiddleford mcgucket is neat and underrated (and as much as i love fiddauthor/fiddleauthor/fordsquared/fordford/banjoportal/etc. i feel like he's getting stuck solely in shipping LET HIM BE HIS OWN GUY PLEASE). also thank you book of bill for existing because it made me remember gravity falls was a thing i was obsessed with as a kid and looking back at everything as an adult is CRAZYYY

okay peace out love you mcgucket stans

[simp999]

Medic x Reader - The Red Means I Love You

Wc: 2.7k

Themes: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort(reader was feeling down beforehand)

A/N: I really haven't been writing huh,, sorry about that, guys!! I've been real busy with work n' other stuff- but I promise I still love seeing your ideas! I can't promise I'll get to them, but I still enjoy seeing them :3

Taglist: @electro-omen @skeleton-stomper-xoxo @moopy-milk @pillow-14 @emotionallyunwellmedic

Masterlist

Optional Playlist!!:

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Not again.

It's always that damned static that manages to hum itself back into your ears; almost romantically. The idea sounds so beautifully comforting; lovingly pulling you away from reality, holding you in a close embrace.

It sounds so much nicer in thought than in practice.

But as much as you can't help but zone in and out, every sound around you feels so loud yet hushed at the same time. The buzzing of the lights, the crickets outside, at one point you think you may have heard someone walk past your room to go to the kitchen, but it was just one sound among many.

You sat alone in your bed, staring blankly ahead. You couldn't make out what you were staring at, nor did you care. - It was all just a blurry mess.

But you needed a distraction. You knew that if you were to be left alone it would only get worse.

And suddenly, you were standing in front of Medic's lab. You didn't remember the slow journey there. Maybe you've walked the path so many times that you went on autopilot? That doesn't matter right now.

You can hear footsteps from inside, and a soft, muffled voice. You can't quite make out the words, but with his tone, you can assume that he's talking with his birds.

You reach out for the door handle, hesitating. Did you really need to go bug him? You'll get over it, you're sure.

What exactly is it that your body needed? You shuffled through a short list of things. You ate earlier, drank water, you got an... okay amount of sleep. Well, more than usual- which is a start.

You just needed to be in someone's presence, you think.

But not just anyone, you're sure that someone like Scout would be too energetic, and Soldier would be too loud.

You always end up right back here, don't you? Maybe it's because you feel comfortable around him? You couldn't be too sure.

You lightly shake your head, your vision continuing to stay just a bit more blurry than usual. With the blurred shapes that you know spell "laboratory" in front of you, you finally crack the door open a smidge. Then some more.

Medic was standing in front of his doves, holding his bloody finger up to Archimedes. You're assuming he'd just given him a piece of meat or maybe he was petting him. In the middle of the action, Medic tilts his head your way, opening his mouth for a greeting-but deciding against it when he does a quick once-over of your tired form. Though, a gentle smile does make its way on his face.

You slowly hobble over to an empty counter, ignoring the chair stacked with a lab coat and papers, hopping up on said countertop. You stare ahead at the body on Medic's operating table. You haphazardly analysed it. It sat lifeless, it seems it'd been that way for a while now. Well, at least you knew you and him were truly alone.

You leaned back, letting your arms hold you up. Medic silently went back to his spot beside the corpse, picking up a scalpel with a soft smile. He began to hum. You'd be lying if you said you didn't find it comforting. The buzzing of the lights surely didn't leave, but they felt less overbearing. It was also late, and Medic rarely had all of the lights on at this time, only keeping the one main one he needed for seeing the corpse with.

He could tell something was up, but he didn't want to pry- though it was nagging at him. Perhaps Archimedes could tell, or maybe it was pure luck- or maybe Archimedes saw you as someone to care for too. Soon enough he was carefully flying towards you, gently landing on your shoulder and rubbing his head up against your cheek. It became tough to hold back a small smile, and you relaxed your shoulders. You gently brought up a knuckle to very carefully pet him with. Along with whispering little nothings- most of which Medic couldn't make out, only sometimes hearing his own name.

He couldn't help but admire the sight before him. It's a good thing that the corpse in front of him was indeed just that- a corpse- or else dropping the scalpel in it probably wouldn't have been too good.

"..Hey,"

He snaps back to reality, his face warming up just a bit at how you caught him dazed- one could even say with a somewhat lovestruck expression. You weren't about to point that out though, were you?

"Why'd you stop humming?"

He.. he was humming? No- well, yes he does tend to do that a lot while working to busy himself, but you noticed? His eyes widened a bit. It's not exactly a conscious thing he does- and it doesn't help that now that he's put on the spot he can't quite come up with anything to hum.

So, he carefully sets down whatever tool he was holding and quietly makes his way over to the music player. You recognized the first song as "Bust Your Kneecaps". You giggled at how fitting it seemed to suit him. The song was so calming but morbid at the same time. He carefully adjusts the volume and begins to sway his hips as he once again as he works on the corpse in front of him. The music player sounds a bit staticky, but the music was still enjoyable.

And now it was your turn to admire him.

He sure was skilled at what he did. Even with music playing and him obviously focused on the sounds surrounding him, he nonchalantly makes such precise and careful incisions. The soft smile on his face, and the way his hair was a bit messier than usual- a given after a long day of battles. You caught the way he'd absentmindedly twirl the scalpel between his fingers before deciding where to place his next incision. The blood coating his gloves glistened,- hey, that's odd, he very rarely wore his gloves while working. May he knew you'd-? No, no, you doubted it.

You noticed the way he had a small pep in his step whenever he had to walk around- it seems his boots may be newly polished, too. His voice when he hummed or softly sang any lyrics was always so comforting too. So much so that you'd absentmindedly join in on the humming at times if you knew the song.

Which is what happened. You only noticed that your soft hums could be heard as well when you caught the way his smile grew and he glanced over at you with hope in his eyes. It was always reassuring to him when you'd slowly warm back up in the subtlest of ways. Of course he knew when you weren't doing too well, and he was always glad to help you out. Honoured, even. It made his heart warm knowing that he was your go-to person to feel comfortable and safe again, even if it just meant being in the same room as him.

It means you willingly trust him. Yes of course, people trust him with their wounds in life or death situations- but they have no choice. Yet you come to him for the most mundane of things.

He must admit, he might be catching feelings.

And there wasn't any major event that caused him to realise this- no. Actually, it was something quite small that you'd done many times before.

This must've been roughly a month ago now; he was sat at his desk, his pencil going back and forth over some paperwork at ungodly hours of the morning. Everyone at the base should have been asleep, but he should have known better as mercenaries. None of you were normal- but you all still needed rest.

Which is why he was surprised when he heard soft footsteps slowly approach him. He recognized them, of course- had he not, he would have been reaching for his bonesaw.

Your presence alone relaxed him. But then he remembered how late it was, and was about the question you on why you might be up at this hour- damn hypocrite.

But before he could, there was a small plate with snacks being placed beside his paperwork, and a hand giving his closest shoulder a small, absentminded massage.

Then, you stood behind him, slowly snaked your arms around his shoulders and slowly leaned against him- almost all of your weight. You rested your chin on top of his head and you hadn't said a word.

This meant two things: one, that you had finally accepted that you simply couldn't tell him to get to bed because it would never work, to which you had adapted. Second, you were up at this ungodly time, and the first thing on your mind was taking care of him.

The thought of asking you why you were up at this hour left his mind, instead opting to let you watch whatever he was working on. Well, as much as you could with your eyes half-lidded, sometimes closing on you.

Every so often, he'd grab a piece of the snack you had brought him. One time, he brought a piece to your lips, and you lazily ate it with a hum. From that point on, he'd eat a piece, then offer you one. Then, because he was so entranced in his work, he had forgotten about the snack. Until you gently brought a piece in front of his mouth, still wanting to take care of him.

"...You don't have to do this, you know."

You gently shook your head, leaning a bit more on him and giving him a gentle squeeze, which was enough of an answer.

And yes, he did notice the way you'd begin to lose your balance due to how tired you were. He himself would lean just enough to keep you upright when he could tell you were beginning to doze off.

That was the first night you managed to get him to go to sleep early- and that was without a single word spoken by you.

That was the night he learned he may have feelings for you. He felt a growing urge to care for you; in subtle and non-subtle ways. Of course- the mercs could tell that he'd slowly become more of a pocket Medic, that much was obvious. But he'd also watch out for you in ways he knew how to. He'd make sure to give you a proper dose of anaesthesia, always be gentle when he did anything involving you, clean his lab and equipment thoroughly before even thinking about using any on you. He never thought too much of it, either.

You began living in his presence more often too, and he appreciated it so very much- he'd never brought it up, but he did care. There were a few times where you'd swing by and he'd offered you a snack; or if you were cold, he'd offer you his labcoat.

Then he realised that he became happy when you were happy.

He never thought of himself as an empath- far from it, really. But suddenly when your mood was down, he'd find himself alone in his lab, doing what he always does. It felt like he was on autopilot, and he felt dull. But when your mood was better and you were more excitable- or even simply happier overall, he'd hum more often, and he wouldn't notice the smile that seemed to constantly spread across his lips, nor the pep in his step.

Which brings us to the present moment. You two humming along to the song. It slowly drowned out, and a new song came on, You recognized it as: "The Red Means I Love you."

Medic's lips curled up a bit, and you gently kicked your feet, his seemingly happy mood becoming contagious. You were still somewhat zoned out, now accidentally staring off into space, which just so happened to be his boots this time. And suddenly, they were right in front of you, along with an open hand blocking the view- hey, when did he remove his glove? It just have been just now, as it wasn't bloody.

You looked up to him and recognized the expectant gaze he sent your way. That warm smile on his face was what convinced you to take his hand, and he carefully guided you around with small steps.

He hummed as he gently placed a hand on the small of your back, and held your hand in his as if it were made of glass.

Once you two began moving a little quicker, he began to sing. He started out in a very quiet tone as to not startle you;

"'Cause my insides are red,

And yours are too.

And the red on my face

Is matching you~"

The two of you continued to sway along to the music, slowly becoming more comfortable, but keeping the volume low. The two of you were tired but content. Then, the reoccurring line in the song came up, and the two of you sang it together in hushed voices;

"The red means I love you~"

You couldn't help the small smile that slowly played on your lips, his was contagious. He offered you a wide grin when he noticed you looking up at him, but it quickly went back to a small, calm, and reassuring one once your eyes were elsewhere. One could even say lovestruck. Paired with a gaze that was admiring every part of you, simply glad to be right there, right now, with you. He'd take lives to be able to do this at any given time- there was nothing more perfect to him than this.

You looked so perfect to him in this very moment. Even the dishevelled hair, darkened eye bags, and slumped shoulders were to be admired. Any imperfections of your skin he found absolutely stunning- they made you unique. But with his background, he's pretty sure that telling you you had fascinating skin wouldn't come off the way he'd hoped- so he'd keep that to himself.

He longed to gently card his fingers through your messy hair, run his finger from your hair to behind your ear, along your jaw and finally tilt your chin up and admire your eyes with the warmest, most loving smile he's ever worn. To pull you a bit closer with the hand that was still resting against the small of your back, with barely any force to be noticeable.

And then he'd lean down, analyse your face for whatever emotions you may be feeling and go from there.

Now, he wasn't a shy man.

So that's what he did.

And that's where the two of you now stand.

After analysing your emotions, checking for any sort of discomfort- he tilted your chin up just enough for you and him to meet halfway.

It was a small kiss- short, sweet and loving. It could even be considered a small peck. There was nothing more to be added, enough was said- even if the only words spoken aloud tonight were mostly just lyrics.

You stood a little stunned, but that was only because you weren't quite ready to fully comprehend what had just happened.

Medic on the other hand was already pulling you into a gentle hug that had the both of you calmly swaying back and forth as he played with your hair. He gave you a small kiss on the crown of your head as you finally relaxed into him, and allowed your hands to rest on his back. Barely audible, he muttered;

"I love you, liebchen."

A gentle squeeze was offered that reassured him that you felt the same way, and you could feel his smile widen before opting to rest his chin on your head, and gently rest his hand on the back of your neck, caressing the base of it with his thumb as the two of you continued to sway together.

He looked forward to more nights like this. Nothing extravagant, just you and him, comfortable in eachother's loving presence.

.

.

.

Nov.10.23

[rubylovessharks]

what would coffee do to them?

this is not a X reader but i have headcannons about this sooo~ here's what i think coffee would do to each twst character :) also i have no idea why but coffee makes me sleepy, so im not going to pull stuff like this outta nowhere-

Heartslabyul

Riddle- i think he's used to it cuz he studies a lot, so he probably needs to get more energy. So it would make sense that Riddle would drink coffee and gain more energy, nothing weird.

Trey- I don't think he's really into bitter tastes, but he doesn't mind them. So I don't think he'll drink coffee that much, it also probably doesn't do too much though. But what if when Trey drinks too much coffee he'd want to bake more?

Cater- Cater probably drinks coffee in the morning. Cater is a character I don't know too much about but with the small information I have on him doesn't really make me think of what coffee would do to him.. So my guess is that he gets more energy and like any normal person and after a while the energy leaves and he gets tired. Nothing special.

Ace- Ace doesn't seem like someone who would drink coffee often. Maaaybe to study? But not that often. At some point if he drank too much he would just pass out, and when I say too much it'll probably be 5 or 6 cups of coffee. One time Duece found him like that and freaked out so hard, he called Riddle and told him this and Riddle also kind of freaks out but seems calm and takes Ace to the nursery. Deuce makes sure Ace never gets to drink that much coffee ever again.

Deuce- We all know that Deuce studies a lot so he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and also I think he doesn't notice when it's the time Riddle set for everyone to sleep, so until Riddle notices that he isn't asleep he scolds him and then immediately feels concerned about the amount of coffee he's been drinking. The same thing will happen with Ace. Ace swears he's stopping Deuce from drinking that much coffee cuz "he's too loud when he studies!" but we all know that's not true..

Savanaclaw

Leona- This guy almost never drinks coffee only because he naps a lot. But I think he would drink coffee when he NEEDS to do something, so that's he's way of getting energy. But here's the thing, when he does drink coffee even though the caffeine works on him he still looks like he's half-asleep.

Ruggie- This guy knows how to do the best coffee you'll ever drink! But it'll cost you a lot.. He probably does drink coffee in the morning so he can get going throughout the day, this guy has many things to do. I also think that every few hours he would drink another coffee to keep going.

Jack- I don't think Jack drinks coffee, at least not often. Nothing special after drinking coffee as well. He's pretty normal about it.

Octavinelle

Azul- He likes he's coffee with milk, I like to think that the first time he heard of coffee on land (they probably have something like coffee under the sea) he wanted to try all types of coffee, just to fully understand what he likes, and what can sell better. He did not like black coffee.. Other than that he's nothing special as well.

Jade- He's the total opposite of Floyd. He becomes really really energetic. He tries to play it cool, like nothing has changed- but you can see that he has more energy. He's movements are way faster than what they are normally, you can see that he's eyes are looking around more often, and things like that.

Floyd- I think that because Floyd has a lot of energy depending on his mood the way to calm him down would be with drinking coffee. I know that caffeine should make a person more energetic, but with personal experience I feel like falling asleep. I think he would be like that too. The only effect other than sleepiness would be the energy in his veins, he's still sleepy though.

Scarabia

Kalim- Don't give this guy coffee- he'd get seriously energetic. If he already has energy on a normal day coffee makes him even more energetic.

Jamil- He's probably not someone who drinks coffee often. I just don't see him as a guy that drinks it regularly, but he definitely drinks it from time to time, just not super often. I think he has normal reactions to it, not too hyper but not like Floyd who'd fall asleep.

Pomefiore

Vil- He's more of a tea guy. He doesn't drink coffee often, but when he does it would probably be closer to things he needs to do during the late evening. Also a guy that doesn't have a weird reaction like some of these guys would.

Rook- Thinks all coffee is good. He enjoys the beauty of everything, coffee is no different. Doesn't have a preference, will drink any and every coffee. It does not work on him, I repeat. Coffee does not work on Rook. Not getting more energy and not getting sleepy. You'll see this guy downing a cup of coffee and see that nothing happens to him. He'll drink coffee just for the taste.

Epel- First thing in the morning he's doing is make a cup of coffee. Black too, he thinks it's manly. He probably doesn't need it though so after some time you can see that in class he looks more sleepy than a regular student should. Vil probably scolds him about it.

Ignihyde

Idia- He doesn't always drink it cuz he has his energy drinks but if he had to he would make a black coffee to get through the night, I think that at some point energy drinks aren't going to work properly on him so coffee is something he'll start getting used to.

Ortho- He's a robot, he doesn't need coffee. And when he was a child and alive I don't think he would've tried it or something- that's it really.

Diasomnia

Malleus- I don't know if he would be into coffee or not, but I think that the first time he did try it his pupils would get bigger? I know our pupils get bigger because of light and stuff- but Malleus isn't human, so maybe some of the energy he got from the caffeine would make his eyes try to focus more on his surroundings??? Even if he's pupils didn't get bigger, he's eyes would still try to focus around.

Lilia- I'm not sure if in cannon it is said that he drinks anything to keep him awake when gaming with Idia or not but I think that he doesn't need coffee during the night, I think it even takes him a while to fall asleep just cuz bats are night animals so it kinda makes sense that he's fully awake at night. I might be breaking canon or something since I don't know too much about him, so sorry if I did- I like to think that in the morning though he has to drink coffee or else he's not able to function throughout the day. (ik he's not a bat but he has similarities so it makes sense)

Silver- It doesn't work on him, He probably tried drinking coffee at some point in his life to get through the day without falling asleep, but it didn't work very well...20 minutes after drinking it he fell asleep. After that he made another coffee and it would repeat like that all day.

Sebek- He would drink coffee on days he feels like he needs to. I don't know much about this guy so I'm not sure of what else to say.. But he probably would drink coffee with milk, not too much milk though, and he probably brags on drinking it black and not actually his taste, but if he tried black coffee again you'll see him throwing it up cuz he probably doesn't like the taste. He's probably more loud and aggressive after drinking coffee though.

[allurilove]

I just read yandere classmate and I am obsessed! Can we get a physical description for him? Like how tall is he and how do you depict him?

Hey there! I usually keep my yandere oc’s pretty vague, so the readers can imagine whoever. But for me, this is how I would imagine him.

Yan!Classmate traits:

Not really athletic, as you could imagine. He doesn’t engage in that many physical activities (does masturbation count?), and he probably would be a slender dude. Pretty wiry, looks a bit awkward in clothing, and he mostly stalks you around so that’s all the exercise he’s doing.

I lean towards guys that have dark hair, like black and dark brown hair. BEFORE he started to try to take care of his appearance, he would have shaggy medium length hair. But this really depends on what you like on guys. If you liked men with longer hair, he would grow his hair out, and if you liked guys with short hair, he could do that too! He would also be bald if you were into that. But for me, I think he would keep his hair short and a bit messy.

In the fic he started to shave and wax his body, but if you liked hairy men then he would grow it out. Maybe style his… sparse mustache LMAO. He doesn’t really grow a lot of hair on his face through. I like guys that are more on the less hairy side but really I have no qualms about it.

He would wear light colors, usually leans towards jeans over shorts though. And he keeps a pair of white and a pair of tan sneakers.

I ALWAYS imagine my men to be a little sleep deprived, idk why. Like he would have a sleepy and raspy voice, sort of calm and soothing. And have eye bags.

I think he’s a bit tall or average height, I would imagine 5’11. His parents have always said that he could’ve been a bit taller if he slept early and drank milk.

He has those skinny and long fingers, like he’s built to be a hand model.

I think dark brown eyes for him too. I don’t know if he would ever get tattoos, but he probably would if you had them. Oh yeah, he does have one earring on his left ear. He was curious and wanted to pierce it for fun. So he has a little diamond stud.

He likes sanrio shit. Hence the sanrio bandaids. He specifically likes pompompurin, the golden retriever dog!

[sunny-mercya]

Cold Coffee

James Maguire x Male Reader

Fandom -> Derry Girls

Requested by -> Anon

Masterlist

The once streaming hot coffee mug—which was scorching when poured into the silly with faces of cartoon characters decorated grey coloured mug—had long gone cold in James hands, who didn't really drank from it anyways—only taking minimal sips from it—but not that he seemed to realise at all, too focused on the boy before him.

When James had strutted down the old creaky squeaky stairs of the [Surname] household, on such faithful sunday morning—having spend the whole weekend over at [Name]'s—and making his way into the crowded kitchen, he literally had thoughts—sending prayers to the Lord above—that he perhaps had died in sleep and this is now an afterlife looping dream.

Seeing you in your baggy oversized shirt—with another row of some cartoon characters printed on it—and the short, orange in colour, pyjama pants, just took James breath away for a moment of minute—making him sucking in a breath.

James had seeing you in many clothes before—from school uniforms, sportswear, daily wear, swimtrunks to even only clad in boxers and their white school shirt—which was because of Mrs.Quinn, who wanted some more dark clothes to wash and demand from the whole squad the uniforms without room for arguments—and he also had seeing you in these pyjamas the whole weekend.

It's just, maybe it's the sunlight—which peeked through the windows and slight open curtains—which makes you look so fairy like, James wasn't sure if that's the right word to use even, so breathtaking in his eyes—that he had to gulp.

»Jamesie! Goo' morning! Ya slept'a wella? I've make us some coffee, well actually'a Dad did, but I'mma put sugar cubes and milk in it'a so I do have helped.«

You gave James his mug of coffee, once he had taken a seat at the small kitchen table—saying a quiet thanks to you, which sounded more like a meek whisper and you couldn't help yourself but to tease him just a bit.

»Don'tcha be shy now, James, it'a after all just'a mere coffee« you said, chuckling a bit when seeing your boyfriends confused face and slight flushed cheeks.

»I ain't scared of some Coffee?« still James eyes the mug with caution—as the amount of sugar cubes in it, a few swimming on top, looked dangerously high of upcoming future diabetics.

»Behave ya two. I ain't wanna funny business from ya two under my roof.« the voice of your dad, who seemed to have appeared from nowhere, had spooked James just a bit.

Now, despite your dad—who James and the girls were allowed, more like granted permission, to call Francis—being 1.80 in height—having the body shape of either an professional boxer or dock worker and the appearance of a pup owner (he does have quite the tattoos and piercings and that certain kind of scowl)—and looking like some scary guy to be feared off, he's in actuality a friendly man.

»Giving wee smooches ain't funny business, dad.« your bottom lip jutted out, creating a slight pout—and James, asking internally for the Lords forgiveness of his sinful thoughts on such a holy sunday, really wants to kiss you now.

Francis had half a mind to tell his dear precious son, that those “wee smooches” are indeed counted as funny business—especially with when it comes to the english fella, his son is having as a boyfriend now—but decided against it, not wanting to upset [Name], knowing well how affectionate his son was.

So instead, Francis only raised his eyebrow and glared half heartedly in a joking manner at James, before taking a plate of pancakes and venturing into the livingroom.

~~~

When Michelle came over around the late afternoon, letting herself in with the spare key—she and the rest of the squad has gotten one, in terms of emergencies—to drag James back home—well her mother said he could stay till Monday morning, but Michelle needs her partner in crime for whatever Erin seemed to have planned tonight—she narrowed her eyes in motherly disappointment, once discovering James on the couch and with a sleeping [Name] on top of him.

»Ya really wanna get booted outta this household, don't you Jamesie?« Michelle hissed it annoyance, hands stemming onto her hips.

»Please, for the love of our Lord, explain what you mean with this, would you?« James annoyances spiked as well, coming out in a hushed whisper.

»You get all English handsy with [Nickname], don't corrupt him with your english gayness. Christ, if Francis see this, he banns you forever from this household.«

»[Nickname] has drank two whole mug of overdose sugary coffee and passed out on me as soon as we started to watch some Cartoons and that had been hours ago.«

»Oh. Well, that makes sense. Next time you tell me that sooner, asshat. By christ, was I worried there for a second.«

James looked at Michelle in disbelieving exhaustion, sometimes wondering why the girls are like this.

»Well, don't bother to come home tonight anyway. I'll tell Erin and the others you're making sure, [Name] doesn't collapse on the coffee. We're don't need ya ass anyway. Bye!«

Michelle was out of the house, before James could even think of a reply.

~~~

When you woke up some hours later, the first you did was smooching James faces with kisses over and over—getting up from him, stretching your body and proclaiming that it is time for pancakes now.

James face erupted into a shade of redness, when seeing your exposed belly and your kisses have ascended him into a putty mess beneath you.

»James?«

»Yeah?«

»I love ya«

And James thought, while replying you back—getting up from the couch himself and into the kitchen, kissing your cheek—that he too loves you, just how lucky he was to have you as his boyfriend.

And James also thinks, thanking the Lord sometimes for it, his mom leaving him in Derry—was the best thing to happen.

[rosewood-multifandom-writer]

Devil May Cry Spice Tolerance Headcanons:

I had some mango habanero boneless wings (highly recommend if you love and tolerate spicy food), and that made me think of this idea for a series of headcanons.

Abnormally high spice tolerance:

Dante:

Dante can definitely tolerate spicy.

If he was younger (DMC3 Dante) he would definitely be exaggerating about how his mouth was on fire.

Since we’re talking about a much older Dante here, he has built up his spice tolerance.

Give him multiple One Chip Challenges and he just eats them like they are normal potato chips.

Try to prank him by putting pieces of Thai Chili peppers on his pizza, he’ll enjoy it even more.

Dare him to eat a ghost pepper, he will do it.

You cannot get this guy to tap out and drink milk.

Vergil:

Like his twin, he has spice tolerance but for completely different reasons.

He has willingly ate a habanero before and shrugged it off, which horrified Nero.

Hates buffalo sauce, not because it’s too spicy, but because it’s salty to him. Anything that is too salty or too sweet, he can’t eat, because he can’t tolerate it, he says as he pops another habanero in his mouth.

Whenever Dante gets pizza, he tells him to put extra jalapeños on his half when they share. (Or they don’t share and Dante eats the whole thing)

Ghost peppers are his favorite.

He’s been in hell for years. Spicy food can’t phase him.

Sparda:

Has been around for a very long time and has tried various spicy foods.

This is where the twins’ love of spicy food comes from.

He has a bigger appetite than his sons as he eats more portions of food than the two combined, which yes, includes spicy food.

In his opinion, sushi is at its best when spicy. Hence why he seeks out scorpion hot sauce and DRENCHES the sushi in it, which horrified Eva.

He was a legendary demon knight, spicy food can’t phase him. (Like father like son)

Nico:

“HOO-WEE! Who’s ready for an impromptu pepper eatin’ contest?”

Nico is the reason why Dante and Vergil now compete in eating the worst ever peppers.

Nico LOVES eating 4x Spicy Balduk noodles (I can’t even eat these) with some Carolina Reaper Pepper cheese on top, again which horrifies Nero.

Gets giddy at the suggestion of spicy food.

Give her some scorpion hot sauce, Carolina Reaper Pepper cheese, basically any spicy sauce or snack that Nero can’t even eat, you win her over easily.

LOVES Kyrie’s homemade chili especially when she makes a spicier version in a different pot just for her.

One chip challenge? She laughs and eats two and says that the chips ain’t spicy and eats chips like these on her break.

Girl is from the south and has eaten plenty of spicy food, she can handle a lot more heat.

Has Limits:

Trish:

Trish herself can debunk the myth of all demons can handle spice. No, not all of them, she argued.

Jalapeños, spicy chips, red hot pepper flakes on her pizza she can eat with no problems or hesitation.

Trish will beg Dante not to put a crap ton of jalapeños on the other half of the pizza like last time.

Trish has tried mango habaneros wings before. Three wings in, she grabbed the milk and drank it in defeat.

“Yes, I am a demon who shoots lightning bolts who can’t handle a 577,00 Scoville unit pepper, deal with it,” she sassed Dante with her runny mascara.

She will stick with her hot Cheetos.

Lady:

Also hates it when Dante and Vergil put too many jalapeños on the other half of a pizza.

A moderate amount of jalapeños is good enough for her. Same with buffalo wings, ignoring Vergil making a disgusted face.

Has judged the twins hard on eating a ghost pepper and a habanero.

“What the hell is wrong with you guys? Those things light your tongues on fire!”

Ate a small portion of a ghost pepper. Immediately tapped out and Dante quickly gave her the glass of milk.

She prefers to watch Dante and Vergil eat insanely hot peppers rather than participate.

Kyrie:

Is intimidated by the sight of a Thai Chili pepper.

She is willing to sprinkle cayenne pepper seasoning on things like her homemade chili she gives to the kids, Nero and Nico, but doesn’t go too far knowing her limits and Nero’s.

Kyrie coughs after taking a small whiff of Nico’s chili. “Okay, hers is done.”

Jalapeños is something that she also enjoys as it’s not trying to destroy her tongue.

Trying Nico’s 4X Spicy Balduk noodles, even one bite was enough to make her face turn red and tear up.

“Girl, you got guts, but you got limits, drink up.” Nico gave her some milk to extinguish the heat.

“I’m not doing that again.”

Instantly Nopes Out:

Nero:

Nero wanted to eat some pizza with Dante and Vergil, but after opening the pizza box, he immediately closed it.

Is scared by the sight of a ghost pepper. Only to witness Dante eat it like it’s a strawberry. Nero is once again horrified.

The only sensation he likes in his mouth (get your mind out of the gutter) is minty freshness like from gum.

“Does… cinnamon flavored gum count as spicy?” Nero asked Dante.

Dante, “No, that’s just sweetness with a hint of spice.”

Nero hesitantly ate a small piece of habanero. He very quickly went to the fridge to pour milk into his mouth. And onto his clothes. And onto the floor. “Do not tell Nico about this.”

Eva:

Nero definitely inherited his grandmother’s hatred for anything spicy.

Eva absolutely hates the smell as it stings her nose.

She knows her husband loves spicy food and tolerates it, but she cannot handle it.

Because she loved him and wanted to eat some delicious food he made with him, she took a bite.

Sparda said, “My dear, you didn’t have to do that,” and tried offering her water Eva shook her head and said, “If you can handle surely I can…”

Eventually she gives up and drinks the water after snot and comes out of her nose much to her embarrassment.

In conclusion, never give Eva anything spicy. Only give it to Sparda.

[p1nkshield]

Hello Party People and welcome to chapter 5 of a fanfic based on a prompt! We have a title!

At the Core

Jason realized what he just did. Why did he just chug some toxic green substance? Why did he listen to a child about what is good to consume? He’s also a ghost kid! Who knows how poisonous that was! Why did it taste like fancy soda?

Jason managed to sift through his confusion and ask his father.

“What was that I just drank?”

Bruce took a moment to gather himself, there were so many things that confused him today and he really did not enjoy this feeling of perpetual bewilderment.

“That, was an unidentified liquid we confiscated from the obviously incompetent guys in white.”

Danny bristled at the mention of the organization. Jason placed a hand on Danny’s tiny head in a show of comfort.

Bruce continued.

“In my attempts at analysis I’ve found that the substance is extremely corrosive. The steel drums they were keeping it in were almost as thin as paper and just as weak. The end of my micropipette melted as soon as I inserted it into the liquid, the acrylic slides I managed to get it on melted in seconds and the only effective containment has been these custom made ampules.”

“Hmm.” Jason grew more and more pale as Bruce explained the volatility of what he just imbibed. Bruce does not exaggerate. Danny seemed to be the only calm one, continuing to sip on his replacement juice box getting the verdant equivalent of a milk mustache.

“You should currently be suffering severe internal chemical burns.”

“Hmm.”

From what Jason could tell…He was not suffering severe internal chemical burns.

“Hmm.” Dang it, now he was starting to sound like Bruce. Before he could truly spiral into the what ifs of this situation he was interrupted by several small yawns.

“Poor Danny, look at him! I should get him to bed right now! I guess we have to figure this out later!”

Jason’s escape plan was met with protests from both Bruce and Danny. It was too little too late though, Jason was already football carrying Danny to the exit of the bat cave.

Jason’s escape wasn’t much of one. He’d have to take the time to apologize to Alfred for all the grief he’d given him at bed time.

Danny woke up with a start in an unfamiliar place and on an unfamiliar bed. It was far too soft and far too big. He instinctively reached for his hair. It was white and wispy. Now this is bad. He didn’t know where he was or why he was in ghost form. Something else wasn’t right. His hand was too small.

“What?” Danny’s voice was too high pitched for his liking. He stumbled into the en-suite attached to the room and the reflection that met him was a ten year old Danny. That is, if the accident happened four years earlier than normal. Before he could stop himself he let out a surprised yelp and crashed to the ground.

“Danny? Danny! What’s going on? Kid?” A voice called from the hall and quickly made its way towards him. A large man entered the room with a surprisingly frantic look on his face.

Oh it’s just Jason.

Jason? This man’s presence signaled safety in Danny’s mind. Like he had spent a considerable amount of time with him.

Something’s happened.

“You’re Jason right? I don’t really remember everything that happened in the last few days. The only thing I do know right now is that you feel trustworthy.”

Jason blinked as all of this information hit him like a brick wall. The kid he was entrusted to watch had visibly aged over night. Kids don’t normally do that.

“Yeah… I’m Jason.”

“Great! Could you tell m-”

Danny paused his attempt to float only resulted in a hop. He was still on the ground. This is bad. Danny attempted to float again to some success, only to stumble back onto his feet.

“You can fly?” Jason asked with genuine surprise.

“You can’t?” Danny returned his inquiry with genuine confusion.

“No, I can’t.” Jason said matter-of-factly

“I feel like you should be able to fly. That’s like the base stats dude.” Danny looked appraisingly at Jason, who looked just as quizzically at him.

“I’m not a meta or a ghost like you so no, I cannot fly.”

Jason could feel himself getting slightly annoyed at this line of questioning.

“Two corrections. I am actually half ghost.” Danny proved his point by letting a ring of light split and wash over him leaving a raven haired, blue eyed kid in the ghost’s place. “And so are you.”

Jason took a moment to school his surprised expression. “Sure thing sailor moon.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment! Also, it’s true?! I can tell you have a heart beat but too much ectoplasm for a normal human to survive.” Danny continued to look at him for a moment. “Welcome to the club. Also, this may be a personal question but, where’s your core?”

Jason was getting tired of being confused. “What do you mean where’s my core?”

@addie-lover-of-stories @impulsiveasshole @soren1830 @psycoaces21 @tired-yet-awaken @avelnfear @cat-in-a-fedora @overtherose @mewzaque @icecweme @jaytriesstuff @naluforever3 @nappinginhell @terzatheunderscorerima @currant-owo @dontfightmecauseillcry @nixthenerd @pheonixqueen @sarina-elais @wanderer-of-worlds @regressor-marina @sunflowershine03 @sailor-goddess @yjfk @coruscateselene @stargazer-luna @phandomhyperfixationblog

[bluesest]

Do a story about a police offier and a military man who are rivals having a shit holding contest

A Police Station

You might think that in a police office dealing with serious matters such as fugitive investigations, the cops working there must also be serious, but you would be surprised that many of them kill boredom in peculiar ways: Bruce was part of these cops, in fact, he was a military man who constantly worked there, he was a man in his 30's with remarkable muscles thanks to his training at the academy, he was in charge of filling out the data of the different criminals that were captured in the area so they could be processed and sent to jail. He did this job with his partner Dan. Dan was a man in his 30's relaxed and always joking, he trained at the same police academy as Bruce and they always got along badly as both were excellent at the academy and now on the job, they were definitely rivals. They competed in everything: on patrol, at the check-in, and even created their own competitions such as running, lifting, among others. But this time the competition went to a new level. During their coffee break, the two were arguing: Dan: "Don't think you're better than me just because you finished the report earlier…" Bruce: "Please… that shows how efficient I am, and the more efficient a person is, the better they do at work!" Dan: "Really? You're not even a cop!" Bruce: "That's true… I'm somewhat superior to that…" Dan: "If you're a military guy, then why are you working with cops and not other military guys?

Bruce: "Shut the fuck up… *BRRRRRRR* once…." Dan: "What's wrong with you Bruce, did the coffee hurt your weak stomach?" Bruce: "Of course it *PPPFFFFFFTTT* didn't…" Dan: "HA! Did a single cup of coffee really give off such a terrible smell? My stomach is able to handle coffee and much more, it's even better than your weak diarrhea stomach." Bruce: "right… and that time you drank a glass of milk, don't you remember that?" Dan: "THAT MILK WAS BAD!" Bruce: "yeah right…" Dan: "I bet I can hold out longer than you!" Bruce: "Okay… we'll each have to drink what hurts our stomachs, me a cup of hot coffee and you a glass of milk." Dan: "And with Laxatives too! To add more difficulty to the challenge, ready?" Bruce: "Ready." Both taking advantage of their break they left the station and walked to the nearest pharmacy where they bought fast acting laxative powder and together they returned to the station to mix it together with the coffee and milk. Bruce: Are you ready? Dan: Ready to humiliate you? Sure! They both in one sip drank their respective drinks, due to the laxative they tasted bitter, but at least the taste is a seal of quality that the laxative works too well.

Suddenly the boss arrives, a man in his 50's with gray hair, fat and shaggy, and although he is old, the man demonstrates an aura of superiority that instills fear of his inferiors or in general anyone near him. The boss was carrying a cup of hot bitter coffee and saw our protagonists "lounging around." Boss: "What are you two doing here, your coffee hour is over!" Dan: "We're sorry sir, we'll return to our post right away". Chief: "Of course not! Lawkeepers must have discipline, as punishment you must organize the warehouse record boxes at this time!" Bruce: "but…" Chief: "NOW!" With their heads bowed, they both went towards the farthest and darkest room in the station, the warehouse, as they entered through the door a large cloud of dust embraced them as they tried to find the room's light switch. When they turned on the light they saw that they had a lot of work to do and so they got down to work: Bruce organized the titles of the boxes in alphabetical order while Dan cleaned the dust from the place. Bruce: "This is all your fault Dan." Dan: "My fault? If you're the one who wanted to have the receipt when we bought the laxative, we took forever because of you." Bruce: "Technically you're the one who came up with the contest idea" Dan: "don't complain, it's done, how's your tummy doing my little baby". Bruce: "I'm fine and besides I'm not a baby".

Dan: "Sure? Why do I think you'll need a diaper soon?" Bruce: "In this station there are 6 cubicles in the only bathroom, there are only two of us so I don't think anyone here needs a diaper, clown." Dan: "What did you say?" At that moment, Dan threw the broom he was using at that instant at Bruce. Bruce: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! uggghhhh!" Suddenly Bruce grabs his stomach with both hands and starts sweating. Dan: "really, you're a military guy and it hurt something like that? I didn't even pull it hard!" Bruce: "Shut up…" Dan: "Wait, I know what's going on, anger upset your stomach, right?" Bruce: "I said *BURP* you shut up…" Dan: "HAHAHA this challenge is going to be a lot easier than I thought." Bruce still in pain came at Dan and pushed him causing him to fall. Dan: "Hey! BRRRRR oh… *PFFFFFFFTFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT*" Bruce laughed at this situation while Dan was lying on the ground in embarrassment, but Bruce laughed some more, causing a terrible gas to come out of him *PPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTT*. Dan: "aghhh it reeks of the typical coffee smell you emanate every day". Bruce: "This is he who rotted our office the day he drank that milk… ugghhhhhh" The tension was growing in the huge warehouse, everyone doing their job, but little by little the effects of the laxative appeared driving our guys crazy. The warehouse being enclosed without any ventilation caused the heat and odors to build up in the air combining them for a toxic cloud that would disgust anyone who smelled it.

Both couldn't stand the smell and the heat, however, admitting it would be a statement of defeat as they couldn't stand the very odors their bodies produced: a mixture of sweat, carbon dioxide and of course the methane produced by their huge, sweaty bubble butts in the tight uniform. Both boys gave up on at least showing their discomfort in the temperature of the place. Bruce: "Wow, I can't stand the BRRRRR heat in here." Dan: "You're telling me, there should be some kind of fan or window around here." Dan starts scanning the place: "Wow this warehouse stinks horrible, and I'm not even in the place we're working… Damn, are there really not even windows in this place? Ha! I guess I know what it's like to be an intern here *BBRRRRRR* oh shit… *BBRRRRRRRR* I should look to see if there are any bathrooms in this warehouse… I don't plan on losing or cheating, just BBRRRRRRRRRRRR agghhh, just…. I'm getting ready for when Bruce gives up so I can show him where the loser's throne is… HAHAHAHAHAH *BBRRRRRRRRRR* there's no… *PPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT* no no no no no *PPPFFFFTTTTTTT* hang in there, hang in there! *PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT*… it almost all came out, I hope Bruce gives up soon or I'll have more things to clean up in this warehouse." Meanwhile Bruce tries to concentrate on locating the boxes full of reports and records properly, but gradually his vision becomes blurry and he begins to feel slight dizziness and a swelling in his stomach. Bruce gasps in exhaustion and pain.

Bruce gasps tired and sore, but he must prove that he is the best: "I must keep calm, *BURP* I just need more time, wait a minute, what if Dan ran away and went to use the bathroom, I CAN'T ALLOW IT!" Bruce wearily walks slowly to find Dan, after 5 minutes he finally finds him poking around in the old appliances in the storage room: Bruce: "HEY!" Dan: "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH *PPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT*… man enough with that scaring people…" Bruce: "ufffff you're really deflating aren't you, anyway, I came to make sure you didn't cheat trying to get out of the warehouse and find a toilet." Dan: "me cheating? don't you know me or does your mind make you think those things because you're desperate?" Bruce: "of course *PPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT* no…" Dan: "Yuck!" A sound invades the place, it was the creaking door of the warehouse where a young intern is seen entering unannounced. Intern: "ho-hello, the boss asked me to clean the warehouse and… uggghhhh what stinks? No wonder this place needs to be cleaned." Bruce: "Well…" Dan: "You finally got here! We've been waiting for you, on the right is the dust broom." Bruce: "And… you should also organize all these boxes of records in alphabetical order…" Intern: "Okay…" Dan: "Thank you very much boy for choosing to spend your internship here, we will be back soon to see your progress my little cadet." They both fled the place and were saved from working in such high temperatures for a whole day, Bruce was angry because surely the boss sent the intern for Dan and him to help him, but he was left to his fate with a toxic gas in the air, but also, Bruce was grateful to Dan for getting him out of that warehouse hell, now he just had to resist the hell in his stomach until Dan can't take it anymore. An alarming stomach growl invaded Dan's body, suddenly: *PPPFFFFFFFFFTFTTTT* "(oh no, I think here it comes, aghhhhhh I feel like my anus is on fire) … hey Bruce, it really was an oven in the warehouse, I want to cool my face in the…. bathrooms." Bruce: "You really want me to believe that? *BRRRRRR* aghhhh *PPFFFFFFTTT* (I think… I shit my pants, that fart came with surprise) … ok I'm burning up too, come on already BRRRRRR…" They both slyly start walking fast, then run straight to the station bathroom and ran into the surprise of: Dan: "Fuck! There's a long line for the bathroom… Which has six cubicles!" Bruce: "Of course I should have guessed… it's three o'clock, it's the middle of the day, usually that's when most of our fellows get the urge to go pee, or also… well, suffer the effects of coffee…"

Dan: "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! … from this heat I'm having… there's only one bathroom in this office besides this one!" Bruce: "You're not talking about…" Dan: "You know what I'm talking about." Bruce: "The boss's bathroom… are you crazy?" Dan: "Of course I'm not, at this hour the boss usually frequents a restaurant, so his office is empty, there's only one chance, and only one toilet, I'll get there first." Bruce: "Toilet?" Dan: "I DID NOT SAY THAT!" Bruce: "HA! Do you really want to give up? Ughhhhhhh *PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT* *PPRRRRRRR*" Dan: "Don't tell me what…" Bruce: "Fuck you." Then Bruce started running while his wet farts were coming out of his body at an alarming speed, Dan was stunned to learn that his military friend shit his pants, but there was no time, he had to get there first before Bruce. Dan started to run losing control of his bowels: Bruce was approaching the office until suddenly one of his coworkers arrived: Coworker: "Hey Bruce, I heard the boss put you and Dan to work in the warehouse, so I was wondering if you could carry this box there for me?" Bruce: "I…" Suddenly Dan ran past him: Coworker: "That was Dan, why was he running, and why did it start stinking up the place?

Bruce: "Listen I don't have time, it's just…you know…I have to report and…bye." Bruce ran as fast as he could until he could see in the distance how Dan was trying to force the door of the boss's office: Dan: "Fuck, if I apply too much force I'll not only break the door, I'll break my anus too!" Bruce: "GET OUT OF THE WAY!" And with force Bruce broke the door with his forearm, a technique they both learned from the academy, because of that push Bruce fell to the office floor while Dan tried to run, but his legs almost didn't respond to avoid making a mess. Weakened Bruce started to get up and grabbed Dan's elbow: Dan: "Let me use the bathroom first, I'm just going to freshen up, after that you can shit all you want." Bruce: "I don't want to take a shit, I just can't stand the heat, I'll use it first and let you relax your bowels afterwards." Dan: "NO SHIT!" They both started fighting and pushing each other until a misstep caused bruce to back up and clutch his stomach with all his might as the wet gas made its way through his rectum to the outside.

This was taken advantage of by Dan who in desperation began to quickly unbutton his blue pants and began to undress in front of his partner even before he reached the bathroom. His body from the hip down was naked, his sweaty cock and ass were in the air getting oxygen and a break from the tight clothing.

While Bruce looked on in confusion, Dan sat on the toilet without closing the door and finally their struggle ended: *PPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT* *PPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *QSHQSHQSHQHSSQHQHQSS*. Dan started with a fart and then the pressure was released with a torrent of brown diarrhea, the smell wafted out of the small room and came to flood the entire office: *PPFFFTTT* *QHSHQSHQSHQSHQSHQSHQSHQSHSHSHSHSQHSQSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *PRPRPRPRPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *GASP* *BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSP* The look of pain and satisfaction on Dan's face said it all, apparently he waited for this moment all day in silent agony, his face was red and sweaty. *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* "Aggghhhhhhh my god, finally…" In a lull, Dan turned to look at Bruce who was dumbfounded, so much so that his urge to explode the toilet disappeared as well:

Bruce: "Of course not! *FLIPS* that means… I WON!"

Dan: "Fuck you… *BRRRR* *PRPRPRPRPRPRPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSQSQSQSQSQSSHSQHHHHHHHHHHHSSS* AGGHHH" Bruce turned and saw Dan's boxer briefs stained with a deep brown liquid which reminded him that: *PPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT* *BRRRRRRRRRRR*. Bruce: "Well, since I won, I'm going to the bathroom right now." Dan: "which bathroom, genius?" Bruce realized what was going on, he won, but at what cost, desperate he asked Dan where he could "break free". Dan with a smirk said, "well, I don't see any trash cans around here, so how about that coffee pot, the boss's favorite."

Bruce: "Of course I'm not going there asshole." Dan: "Well, there are only two other options: either you can shit in your precious green uniform and go home shitting, or you can also shit in the dumpsters in the hallways with an audience obviously!"

Bruce was about to angrily yell at his partner until another cringe made him panic and he did something he would regret all his life: Just like Dan, Bruce started stripping in front of him, freeing his totally sweaty round bubble butt with brown diarrhea stains and desperately put the boss's coffee pot on the floor and sat on it using it as a toilet: *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *PPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* Dan: "Wow, I didn't think you were capable…" Bruce: "Shut up."

*PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT* *PPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *SQHSHQSHQSHQHSHQSHQSHSQSHSQHSHSHSSSSSSS* *PPFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT* *BRRRRRRR*.

The smell was putrid, it combined in the air along with the smell emanating from Bruce, they both had a big stomach ache from holding it in for so long. The coffee pot was already half full of a coffee-like liquid, but in taste and smell it was the worst thing in the world, a strange mixture of yesterday's dinner and Bruce's breakfast today.

It should be mentioned that the coffee pot was not wide enough to hide and retain the military man's big ass and penis.

Dan: "you really outdid yourself with this one." Bruce: "ohhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Dan: "But if you think you can outdo me, dude I'm telling you no: *PSPSPSPPSSPPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPS* *PFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT* *PFFFFFFFTTTTT* *PLOP* *PPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRP*" Bruce: "…another competition?" Dan: "We always do weird competitions, a battleshit would be the weirdest of all, more so than this one…" Bruce: "I don't feel like thinking about anything right now… AAAHHHHHHHHHH *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *PFFFFFFFTFTFTTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *SQSHQSHQSHQHSHQSHSQSQSQSHSHHHHHHHHH* AGGHHHHH" Dan: "You say you don't want to compete, but that was intentional, wasn't it?" Bruce: "You know coffee makes me sick, obviously it wasn't intentional…oohhhh *BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*"

Dan: "That roar says something else." Bruce: What does it say?Dan: "It says he's setting up heavyweights, and I've already got the guns ready PSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSP SHQSHQSHQSHHQSHHQSHQSHSQHQSHQSHQSHS BRRRRRRRRRR PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSP"

Bruce: "that was…" Dan: "Unbelievable? I know." Bruce: "Nope, disappointing, look at this… or, rather, smell and listen to this: *PPPFFFFFFFFFFFFTTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTFTF* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *PFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT* *PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT* *PRRRRRRRPPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* *SQHSHSHSHSHQHQSHQSHQSHSHS* HA HA HA HA… OHHHH *PLOP* *PFFFTTT* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR*" Dan: "Like this? You haven't seen anything: *PFFTT* *PSPPPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSSPSSPSS* *QSHQSHQSHQSHQSHHQSHQSHQSHQSHQHSQHS* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *BRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *BRBRBRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PFFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFPSSSSSSSSSSSSPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRP* *BRRRRRRRRRR* *PSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH* *SHHQSHSHQSHQSHHSQHSQHQSHQSHQSHQSHS* *PLOP*"

Bruce: "Well….GET READY!: *PFFFTTT* *PRPRPSSSSSSSS*

"Dan: "Apparently you ran out of ammo Bruce."

Bruce: "HAHAHAHAHAH okay, you won at… Who shits the most?"

Dan: "I'll wear that title with honor *PLOP* partner."

Both partners laughed and after 10 minutes fled the crime room without first cleaning the bathroom and throwing the boss's coffee pot in the trash, praying the smell wouldn't clog the office.

[ananxiousgenz]

SONG FOR A CAGED LOVEBIRD: PART 9 (?)

i've lost track by now ngl. we're at over 9,000 words so i get a pass. this part is. ouchie central. so i am expecting a lot of people yelling at me in the comments and tags. this is fun for me.

LETS GO TPP CREW, ROUNDING THE CORNER WITH MY TPP CREW: @smidgen-of-hotboy @ceaseless-watchers-special-girl @urjover @one-joe-spoopy @waters-and-the-wilde @demonic-panini (@the-private-eye i'm tagging you too bc i can :))

The silence was what finally woke him.

Juno had been solidly asleep, dreaming about things he couldn’t quite remember but that made his stomach twist. When he finally opened his eyes, the room was abnormally quiet. No rain, barely any wind, and… he rolled over to check. Nureyev wasn’t next to him in bed. That was not entirely out of the ordinary, as his insomnia often took him on long walks through the woods as he tried to find sleep, but this morning it set his teeth on edge. Something about it felt…  wrong. Like he had walked out of the door for the last time, and would never come back. 

Juno shook the thought away. It was a ridiculous notion. He loved him too much to let that happen. If Nureyev was having trouble, or looking to leave, he would have told him. Juno trusted him.

He dressed and washed his face and walked downstairs to grab some breakfast before starting to get the bar together for opening. Hopefully, the rest of the day would pass without incident, and he could chalk this nauseous, nervous feeling up to a nightmare that he couldn’t quite remember.

It was what he saw at the bar while half-way down the stairs that really made him feel sick to his stomach.

Buddy was leaned over a half-empty bottle of whisky, rubbing the bridge of her nose, tear tracks shiny on her face. That bottle had been full when he had replaced it on the shelf last night. She never drank this early in the morning, and never that much. Always said it made her unfit to serve the public or interact with any decent human being. Jet, the man she had employed as a bar bouncer when times were better, was standing next to her, a large hand on her shoulder. He was crying too. Buddy only called him when things were drastic, like when their latest whiskey shipment had been stolen by pirates on its way to the bar.

And then there was Rita.

Rita, who wore her heart and its many thoughts on her sleeve like a badge of honor for her humanity, was nearly silent. She was snot-nosed and puffy-eyed, like she had been crying for hours, and said absolutely nothing outside of the occasional sniffle and a quiet request for Jet to grab her a glass of milk from the kitchen.

Juno thought he might hurl right there on the stairs. A silent Rita was new. Juno had known her for years, and she had never stopped talking once.

What the hell had happened?

He cautiously came down the rest of the stairs and approached the bar. Buddy looked up at his approach and tried to wipe some of the tears from her face just as Jet returned from the kitchen with the milk for Rita. “Good morning, Juno.”

“Hey, big guy,” Juno responded, nodding in Jet’s direction before looking at each one of the weeping figures in turn. “What happened? You guys look like hell. Did we get another snowstorm in the middle of the night or something?”

The three of them exchanged a look that Juno couldn’t quite decipher before Buddy answered.

“I think Rita can answer that question better than Jet or I can,” she croaked before downing another swig of whisky.

Juno turned to Rita and reached out to wipe a stray hair out of her face. “Hey, Rita, what happened? It’s okay, it can’t be that bad, right?”

At that, Rita burst into tears again. “It is, it really is that bad, Mista Steel! You don’t get it! It’s the worst thing! It’s about Mista Nureyev!”

Juno’s heart dropped through the floor the second she said his name. “Rita. Rita, look at me. Rita. DAMMIT, I need you to tell me what happened to him.”

Rita looked at him then, with such a look of despair and heartbreak on her face that Juno’s heart ached for her. And then he realized. He knew that expression. It was nearly second nature to him. He had seen it every morning on his own face in the mirror after Benten had-

And then he knew.

He breathed in, breathed out. Took a step back. The floor was spinning. He dropped to his knees. “No. No it can’t- no, no, no, no, this can’t be right, Nureyev can’t be…”

Rita nodded, tears still flowing steadily down her face as she clambered off the bar stool to hug Juno. “He came back after dark last night, and I thought he was actin’ real sketchy, so I watched him for a while, and then when the sun started comin’ up, he packed up some stuff and left, but I followed him, only he didn’t know, ‘cause I acted real sneaky-like, and he went to a train station that I’m pretty sure wasn’t there before, and he met these big, creepy guys, and they gave him paypawork to sign, ‘cause I think they were makin’ some kinda deal, and once Mista Nureyev signed it, he fell down and started coughin’, and then one of the big guys said somethin’ about not havin’ enough time to wait for him to die, and then the otha one pulled out a huuuuuge knife, and then he- then he-”

She burst into sobs again on Juno’s shoulder. His ears were ringing and he knew his face was deathly pale. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.

Buddy looked at him hollowly from the bar. “Rita said he called your name. It was the last thing he did before he… before they loaded his body up onto a train and left.”

‘He called your name. It was the last thing he did before he died.’ And Juno didn’t even hear him. He hadn’t been paying attention. How long had he been calling? How long had Juno been ignoring him? Why was he only now hearing his echo instead of his voice? How pathetic was he, that he prioritized a fucking song over his husband? What was wrong with him? But of course, as soon as he realized his problem, it was already too late to solve it. 

He never got to say goodbye.

Dimly, Juno realized he was shivering and tears were flowing down his face and Rita was apologizing profusely that she didn’t do anything to try and save him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so horrible about himself. 

Now, it was all over. He’d lost him forever, and it was all his fault.

He would never get to see Peter Nureyev again.

He sat there, curled up on the floor for a moment longer before a different wave of feeling crept over him.

No.

No.

This was not the end. He wouldn’t let it be the end.

He was going to get his husband back if it was the last thing he ever did.

He sat up, wiped the tears from his face, and grabbed Rita by the shoulders, lightly shaking her out of her self-deprecating ramble.

“Rita. Rita, look at me. I need you to tell me everything you know about the Underworld. It’s important. Really important.”

“Well,” Rita sniffled, wiping her face on the sleeves of her sky blue sweater, “I heard a while back about there bein’ a back door. A way to get in without havin’ to actually, ya know, die or somethin’.”

Jet nodded sagely. “This is true. I walked that road with a friend of mine years ago, trying to save people from unwise decisions.”

“It’s not easy though, Mista Steel. The road is reeeeeaaaaally long and difficult, and with the weatha bein’ the way is it, you could get caught in a storm and get hurt, and I don’t want you to get hurt, Mista Steel!!”

Buddy looked at Juno again, an odd kind of hollow despair marking her face, like she saw something in Juno’s set jaw and bright eyes that made her want to disappear. “I know what you’re thinking, Juno, and it won’t work. I’ve tried. Believe me.”

“I’m not going to give up on him this easily.” There was a defiant flame rising in him now, melting the shards of his broken heart back into a semblance of hope. “I can get him back. I know I can.”

Jet walked over from his perch next to Buddy and crouched on the floor next to Juno. “Rita is right, Juno. The road to Hadestown is not an easy one to take, which is why I must ask you: how far are you willing to go for your husband?”

The flame grew into a wildfire. 

“To the ends of the fucking earth.”

There was silence as Jet examined him for a moment longer, face expressionless, before letting out a small sigh and standing up again. “Very well then. Pack your things. I will take you to where the road to Hadestown begins. If you are going to make stupid choices, I will at least make sure you can begin making them safely.”

Buddy started shaking her head vehemently. “No, no, no. You can’t let him go, Jet darling, he’s just going to get himself killed too. It’s not safe.”

“And yet you took the same course of action all those years ago, Buddy. What does that say about you?”

A muscle in Buddy’s jaw twitched as she took another long swig of whiskey. Juno slowly stood up, like a prey animal caught between two predators trying to remain ignored. He desperately wanted to know what had happened between the two of them, but somehow got the impression that any requests to know would be soundly ignored. 

Buddy glared at Jet with one sharp eye, but said nothing.

Jet sighed again and put a large hand on Juno’s shoulder. “Go grab your things. We will leave in two hours.”

“Wait for me, Mista Steel! I’m comin’ too! I gotta go get my stuff and then I’ll go with ya! Lil old Rita isn’t as fast as she used to be! Wait up!”

Juno sprinted up the stairs, Rita’s voice carrying after him. And in spite of the loss he had just suffered, he was grinning.

Hang on, Nureyev. Just a little longer.

He was going to get his husband back. At any cost.

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

Bucky fattened by a frat as a mascot of some kind? Starts pretty big when he’s a freshman, already pushing 400 — come what would have been his final year and it takes a couple bros to turn him over to fuck. Ah I dunno just free use immobile blob Bucky who’s an absolute cockslut, he’ll do anything so long as he gets as much food as he wants? Pledges have to attend to him 24/7, that includes his bi-hourly funnel feeding, a litre or so of shake every other hour?

Anyway, maybe Steve was his first attendant? Both freshman, Steve was made to feed him and please him and serve him, and now he’s head of the frat or however they work.

Anyway there’s the rambling done waddaya think?

You should check out "teamwork" by caloriebomb!!

I keep, in particular, thinking about this part:

“Steve made this coffeecake just for the team,” Clint said, and levered another vast slice onto Bucky's plate. “You can't make him feel bad by not eating it.” “I'm fucking full,” Bucky said. “I can barely breathe.” But of course, he ate it. And he ate more bacon, too, and let them give him the last chocolate chip muffin, and he drank another glass of milk, and ate another slice of heavily-buttered bread, and, to hell with it, finished off the rest of the bacon entirely. He was moaning a little by the time he was done, shameless in his discomfort, his belly almost hard to the touch and so heavy he felt pinned down by it. “For good luck,” Sam said, and rubbed his belly, and then Clint followed suite, and suddenly Bucky was inundated with a line of football players all trying to get their hands on his swollen gut, and Thor was shouting, “Our good luck charm! Our good luck Buck!” and honestly it felt too good to protest, and he was so stuffed he could barely speak anyway, so he just sat there and let it happen, weighed down by his enormous breakfast and the unbendable dome of his throbbing tummy.

I do, really, really love this idea, though. I keep picturing one of those big snorlax plushies with the huge tummies and short little legs.

Like, c'mon, that is Bucky.

Unbeta'd, you know how it is, warning for Bucky-centric belly kink filth. Implied stucky? Stuffing, funnel feeding, immobility, alcohol consumption, intox kink, slight come inflation, etc.

Or, that's what Bucky turns into after he's hazed and then pledges, and is officially a member of his frat 👀

He absolutely is a big boy going in, but after he's been in for a few years, nearing the end of his college days, he's packed on more than the freshman 15, by far.

After being constantly stuffed and fed and fucked by his bros, he's unbelievably round. So round that his stomach floods between his far spread thick thighs, forcing them apart, and it rests on top of those thick, heavy thighs, leaving him without the ability to stand without help. Really, he can hardly maneuver around it - his belly, that is. It's so heavy. It's always so full. Hell, he can't get his fucking arms around it now! He can't shut his legs, either. Not that that matters when his frat bros are always trying to get them wider, anyhow, using his hole when they can manage to roll Bucky over onto his enormous gut, or just fucking any of his many, many rolls.

He's soft and irresistible all over.

Fat on fat on fat.

Stacking up.

He's overflowing with fat. He's impossibly fat. So much so that when his bros try their best to use their gym-honed muscles - biceps flexing - to lift his massive belly, they sweat and grunt but simply can't always squeeze their arms in between his rolls enough to find his cock. It's buried. Not that Bucky's cock matters to him much now... he gets more than enough pleasure without a finger laid on him there. There's enough pressure and friction from his own fat. He can grind against himself. And his belly is more than sensitive enough. Always bloated tight and packed even fuller. Just touching his gut is enough to make him come.

Whenever the guys can't roll him over - either because there's not enough helping hands around the house at the time, or Bucky is too full to flip, heavier than usual and making sounds like a beached whale, protesting, lest he throw up - they end up fucking all his excess fat. They fuck his love handles and stacking up sides. Plush. They fuck his moobs. Overflowing and flabby and deliciously sensitive, especially those stretched out, hard nipples. They fuck where his belly flops onto his thick, spilled-out thigh. They fuck his belly. They fuck his beanbag like belly.

Heavy.

Thick.

Blubber that rolls like waves when they get going, really into fucking their mascot, and the thrusts push out burps and groans and heavy, gasping breaths from Bucky. He can't handle it. It feels almost as good as being fucked in his hole. He loves having his belly fucked, even if it presses on his stuffed stomach, walking the line of being too much. Pleasure that almost hurts.

Bucky loves it, though.

Even when he's about to pop, bursting at the seams, unable to stifle the hiccups and burps and deep groans bubbling up from his sloshing tummy with how hard he's being jostled, fucked and toyed with however his bros want. Maybe especially then.

Or, no, the best is when they're all home after a party. When the party upstairs has wound down and all his bros are drunk, not yet passing out or fully blackout drunk, but when they're lose enough that their rougher sides come out. Then, they're rowdy from the pounding music, drinks, and crowded, sweaty bodies, and they all seem to share a single thought, needing to use him; needing to fill him; needing to lavish their lucky and greedy mascot with attention after leaving him alone in the basement for the party. Their dirty little secret. Their sweating, panting, growing mascot.

If Bucky's any mascot, he's a pig.

A big, fat pig.

A pig who's always shoveling food into his mouth with his fat hands, his fat chin doubling and thick throat bobbing with each massive mouthful. Never satisfied.

They're going to satisfy him...

After a party, they're all always hard, barely contained in their jeans and gym shorts - unashamedly obvious. Their faces are flushed, eyes hungry, and lips loose and wet. Beer on their breath. Crowding around him. Everyone is aching to touch. He's so soft. So big. So heavy. So fat.

Now, the fraternity make sure to buy more beer and snacks than a party could ever take down for the sole purpose of feeding their pet pig afterward. They know where they always end up.

Every. single. time.

They tear apart the whole house for Bucky. Not just demolishing the party supplies. Everything. Everything is fair game. They feed him chips and dips and kegs of beer and pizza and all that junk. And then...

And then, they break out the protein powders and blenders and make shake after shake after shake for Bucky.

Weight gain shakes.

None of the protein is going to turn into anything but fat. Bucky doesn't move. Bucky is just a ball.

Bucky is a mascot, a pet - a fun, fat, soft toy for them to use. They'll be fucking him sloppy and messy, after a party, and will forget to keep feeding him. Then. That's what Bucky moans for. He doesn't want to come. No. He wants more.

More food.

God.

More.

He begs so much, so greedy, that they have to feed him to shut him up. And when they do run out of things to feed him, there's nothing to be done but shoving their dicks down his throat and coming, filling him up that way, if he's just so desperate to be full.

He is.

He's so desperate to be full.

And every time he is full, he's not just full. He's overfull. Meaning... next time, he'll be able to take just that much more, ever-increasing his huge stomach capacity 🥵

[svnflowerkae]

tw: estabiloshed relationship, reader is a little bit tipsy from alchool like they can’t walk straight but are complitely fine and consensual!!, oral (m!reciveing),  sloppy blowjob, a bit of fluff at the start, mention of pet names (good girl, darling), praising with a little bit of degrading, reader has pussy and uses sometimes she/her pronouns. I tried to do genderneutral as possible. If i missed smt let me mnow!

an: i just want to say that this is literally a piece of a dream I did some many nights ago so maybe it will be a little self insert but not too much! Plus plus i can’t choose which boy i simp for to write this one so i’ll just put is as your fave x reader! Please enjoy. (ALSO GUYS I'M REALLY SORRY FOR NOT POSTING A SMUT WRITTEN FROM ME FOR SO LONG SORRY)

Y/N entered their appartament - after leaving the elevator -, a bit tipsy at 4.30 am, a little smile plastered on their face. Heels in hand, on the doorway, as Y/N was callin' for him.

Listening to his name being called, he goes to them.

"Why are you still up? You should be sleepin' already"

"I was waiting for you, honey" he smiled and Y/N laughed.

She puts in front of her mouth her fingers, signaling him to not disturb the quiet of the neighbourhood. He laughs. Y/N obviously was a little tipsy from the alchool they drank over the night.

Y/N hugged him and he took her from the hips, lifting her up and doing a twirl. Both of them laughing together. He puts her down, letting the purse and the heels fall on the ground. Taking him by the hand they go to the living and, instead of sitting on the couch, they sit on the floor.

Y/N, on her knees, looks at him with an intense look in her eyes. She crawls towards him, opening his legs and putting herself in between them, while laying completely down. Y/N starts to kiss his bulge keeping eye contact.

"Such a greedy girl, aren't you?" he laughs softly as he starts slowly to pull his pants and underwear down, pulling his cock out. A whine and a gasp leaves her lips as she saw it and she starts kissing it from the base to the top, licking it so slowly and with kitten licks. He moans, blush spreading on his face, his hand on his mouth, tryin’ to not moan. Y/N looks at him, love stuck and her mind floating in the air, the only thought it’s his cock and the way it's not fully erected. She loved doing a blowjob while her lover cock was still soft/half soft. In Y/N opinion it was rather cute and something snaps inside when they has to do it while his cock is, if not completely, almost soft.

It was a big turn on.

As time passed by his cock become fully erected, veins visible.

"Darling, mmh, please don't stop." He was so desperate to cum, bucking his hips and grabbing their hair into a ponytail. "You're such a good girl for me, such a good cock sucker. Mnhp just like that. I'm gonna cum, gonna cum darling."

His raspy moans, his hoarse voice from the moaning, turning them on. Pussy so wet that she could feel her juices running down her thighs.

The pleasure he was feeling was so much, he just wanted to cum in her mouth but didn't want to end all of this. It was too good.

Moaning on his cock she bobs her head down quickly, taking his full lenght in her mouth. She couldn't help but rolling her eyes, only this bringing her so much pleasure. She loved pleasing her lover.

"F-fuck baby yes" he keeps their head down, hips trusting roughly as he cums down their throat.

She moans as she tastes his cum, swallowing like it was milk. His breath unsteady as he takes his cock out of her mouth.

They smile at each other, and sitting on his lap, they share a kiss. His hands on her hair and waist.

"I'll bet you're tired honey, let me help you and then we'll go to sleep, okay?" he asks while getting up with them in his arms. "You did a very good job, I love you"

"I love you too, (name of your fav)"

[nanaooyoo]

riize Seunghan blurb

Just a little idea that came into my head after watching some riize/nct content. Seunghan has that one interview where he says he drank all the banana milk in the fridge before Sungchan and Taro got anyway and he’s always being all rascally and cute in the most 20 year old guy way possible and I was like… Girl I love your vibe. Anyways enjoy ✨

warnings/headsup: mentions of food/eating • 797 words • sounds like reader is annoyed but it’s more just playful observation • unspecified romantic relationship • idk? what are we? • you decide • light proofread

SPRAWL Seunghan x reader pt.I/I

Seunghan’s energy was all encompassing. When it came to you and him, he seemed to like to like to take up a certain amount of space; all of it…

Rather than sleeping next to you… or around you… or near you… or in any way that didn’t make you wake up with an almost six foot something pound something weighing on your back, Seunghan managed to end up more just sort of, on you at least five nights a week. He had a way of effortlessly taking up space and preventing you from ever reclaiming even a smidgen of said space back. His long limbs would enrapture you like a scrawny bird cage before rolling over and whisking up the covers into their own intimate hold. Sometimes you swore his unconscious mind must have thought that stupid comforter was you, the way he held the puffy quilted material like it would leave him if he didn’t cuddle it with all his might.  

That was only if you made it to bed first though. If you had the misfortune to find the young man already laying on your bed than that meant there’d be no cover for either of you at all. He’d lay on top of all the bedding like your own personal Vitruvian man. There was no moving him in that state. He’d be knocked out cold too tired to even change clothes or get truly comfortable so you’d often find yourself laying a throw blanket over him like a picnic blanket over dewy grass and leaving him be.

When sparwling out on couches, particularly yours, he treated it like every crease in the leather was sculpted just for him. Of course over time the couch really had started to mold to his body. The old piece of discount furniture had this perpetual outline of him and his backside stretched across it. The way he laid in it reminded you of someone peacefully adrift on a pool floaty on a hot summer day. You wondered if he was actually comfortable on that old thing but he always looked so serene. Watching tv, neck propped up on one side’s arm rest and both feet propped up on the other. He always had at least one limb (usually his arm) strewn across the floor. The back of his knuckles would absentmindedly tap on your hardwood floors or his bare heel would touch the ground and immediately find it’s way back onto the couch due to the chilly draft emanating from somewhere in the ancient floors. You always told him to wear socks but he never listened.

Any car ride with him was an opportunity to sprawl. He would always recline his seat back and close his eyes proudly announcing that he was not in fact going to sleep but was just resting his eyes. That was never really true of course. He joked about being your passenger princess the way you would chauffeur his sleeping form from activity to activity. You would always gently shake him with your palms flat on his chest as it would rise and fall giving him the chance to come to upon arriving home. This would usually result in a pointless back and forth. 

“You fell asleep again”. 

“No I didn’t”. 

No matter how many times you relayed to him that resting your eyes and flat out snoring were two different things he would simply deny deny deny. 

“I would never sleep in the car and just leave you alone like that”… 

If he wasn’t becoming one with your furniture by lounging on it then he was raiding your fridge. Snacks and drinks were inhaled in the blink of an eye. Of course he always felt guilty when you caught him with his hand in the cookie jar (literally). But you couldn’t stay mad at him. The way his cat like features would fall into an apologetic wide eyed pout when he realized he had just cleaned out your fridge before you got a chance to eat anything always simultaneously annoyed and amused you. No matter how many times it happened he’d still say say sorry and promise it would never happen again.

“I swear it was an accident-“. 

“Yeah yeah…”

Once Seunghan entered your life, it was only a matter of weeks before it felt like he had always been there. His stuff was everywhere. No drawer, no glove box, no cabinet, no pantry, no surface was left untouched by him. Him and his stuff had engulfed you and your heart like quicksand and every time you second guessed that slow sinking he would just drag you in more. You found yourself compromising with his nature. He had a style of affection and closeness similar to that of a bear hug. He pulled you in like a dangerous tide but once the water receded you realized just how calming the ocean was. You wondered what kind of miserable curse he had put on you but pretty soon you realized that all it was was love. A love filled with nuisances and an endless grocery bill but a love nonetheless. 

[rovimrtheduck]

Stuff I've heard at school: Part 15

He didn't lose a braincell he lost the entire brain

So throughout the game he kept going 'you don't want my chunky dick?'

I do not care about your bowl movements

No one cares about your asshole

Strawberry twink

He would taste like strawberry mochi

It would look like someone exploded

P1: Those tasted like my gandmas house

P2: why are you eating your grandmas house

P1: "My grandpas not dead. The other one is, but this one isn't"

P2: "Give him time"

Teacher: yeah that's right! lower your head in shame! lower! lower!

Student, doing a walk of shame for overdue work: any lower than this and I'll be crawling!

Quebec French just, SOUNDS like they're cursing you out

This guy's hiding the fact that he, like, ties a kite to his phone

I was just going to say he has really child bearing hips

P1: "Debrah (a rifle gun) would be happy"

P2: "What's debrahs beef with me"

P1: "She doesn't like you because you've used her one too many times lol"

P2: "…is that a terrorist joke?"

P1: "yeah"

P2: "haha okay cool just checking hahaha"

Please lets refrain from calling teachers twinks

P1: "Guatamala"

P2: "That says Gujrat"

P1: "Guatamalaaa"

P2: "I guess I'm guatamalan now? lol"

P1: "Yeah you're guava"

P1, to P3: Yeah, well, I'm not Indian P2, distracted by his phone: You mean Indigenous P1, gesturing to P3, who is Indian: No I mean Indian P2, not looking up: Yeah, the proper term is Indigenous P1, aggressively gesturing to P3, who is waving awkwardly: No, I mean INDIAN P2, finally looking up: OHH! I thought you were talking about Indigenous 'Indian'! My bad, my bad.

what the hap just fuckened

P1: "Drank perfumes?"

P2: "What?"

P1: "All I heard was you went to bath and body works to drink perfume"

Do you know how balls deep I need to be in a story to be effectively begging my screen to kill off a character?

That is the sauciest look I've ever seen someone give me

Because when they're going out to no-mans land that what they're thinking, 'I want a really nice tank, very visually pleasing tank, I don't want that Mark One'

"Yo, FUCK him I'd smash his mom"

+ "Yeah and after we're done I'm going to look him dead in the eye and say 'I fucked your mom'"

P1: "Thank you for violating my (oc) characters"

P2, in an uncomfortably eager voice: "I can violate them even more if you want"

"It's the cummie water from school" sips "oh yeah, that is cum"

"Where did you get these genes from"

*looks down at his jeans* "Old Navy?"

"and he goes 'My body is my resume!' and takes his shirt off, and I showed it to my manager because I had no idea what to say"

They literally pickled a baby! (in reference to Ares mythology)

You can either be gay or funny, choose one

I identify as out of this-world

The G in LGBT stands for God

OoOoh, I don't know what I did, but I am learning SO MUCH.

Dionysus is his tumor then!

This is my tumor, he's a drunken little shit who we decided to banish to earth for a while

Blowjobs, for anyone who isn't a sex worker, should be called blowhobbies

What do you call two Jewish stoner in a car? A gas chamber

It's not because you're a rabbit, it's bc you're black!

I inhaled a piece of cheese and it won't get UNINHAILED *coughing*

Who needs their liver anyway

We're the testicles

Why did you give me that look? You look like a child seeing their father for the first time after getting the milk

UM NO. I think that's YOU little miss toe-socks

Even your writing looks dyslexic

Lycan we're both failing math, I don't need this right now.

Reverse racism, but not like, in a racist way

Wow, you even SOUND dyslexic