#that not even themselves knew what they were getting into

[purplestanleypinkblanket]

Clubbing Much to Logan's Distaste:

18+

Pairings: (DP3 Vers.) Logan Howlett x Reader

Summary: Vanessa convinced you to go clubbing with her, claiming that there's 'too much testosterone in that damned apartment.' Logan hadn't realized you two were clubbing until Wade, laughing, shows him a photo of you. Well, Logan greatly dislikes that photo and hunts you down. Vanessa takes advantage of how jealous Logan can get.

Warnings: Heavy drinking, body shots mentioned, age g4p, younger reader (like 21), slight woman on woman (vanessa making logan jealous), angry logan, argument, grinding, drunk reader, sexual themes. 18+, minors don't interact.

Genre: Angst, Slight smut.

Word Count: 1,798

A/N: I've really been wanting to explore various themes, and it's about time I branched into thirsty Logan turf! Feel free to leave feedback, I love knowing what could be improved!

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Vanessa and you swayed on the dance floor, moving to the song 'Nasty Dog' by Sir-Mix-Alot. The club was packed with various sorts of people, all of which you found yourself dancing against as the night progressed. Shot after shot, you found yourself regretting the dress you wore. It was a black off the shoulder, long sleeve dress with a short skirt. As you swayed and danced, grinding your back up against a man you hadn't met before he bought you a shot, you glanced towards Vanessa who was taking a selfie.

"Say cheese!" She announced to you, moving to catch you in the frame. You and the man you moved against.

Wade and Logan found themselves alone in the apartment. It was odd to Logan, he had grown used to you and Wade dancing to suggestive music like 'Goodies' by Ciara in the living room. Tonight was different. You and Vanessa weren't here, and he was alone with Wade who didn't even try to be subtle with his flirts.

"Where's-"

"She's out clubbing with Vanessa." Wade interrupted like a damned mind reader. How had he known Logan was going to ask about you? Logan scowled at Wade, eyes narrowing. And why in hell were you clubbing? Didn't you know how dangerous it was? The ding of Wade's phone interrupted his thoughts. "Holy fuck!" Wade laughed out. "She's getting it on out there!"

"What?" Logan's voice was rougher than usual, strained too. He grabbed Wade's wrist before he could hide his phone. Yanking at the man's wrist, Logan stared at the phone. At the photo of you and Vanessa. Of you...grinding...on another man. "The fuck does she think she's doing?" He erupted with a growl, standing up immediately. The photo still burned in his retinas. The way your skintight dress showed off every inch and curve of your body. That short skirt that was practically nonexistent. The sight of your bare shoulders through the neckline. Logan swore your breasts looked as if they would fall out of it at any given moment.

"Woah there, honey badger." Wade was quick to dive infront of the front door, preventing Logan from leaving.

Vanessa's words echoed in his brain, "Keep Logan here. Make sure he doesn't ruin my girl's night, or I'll-" Wade didn't entirely remember the rest of the threat because God damn did Vanessa look hot when she scolded him.

"Move, lip." Logan growled at him.

"I can't do that." Wade retorted, stretching his body to take up as much of the doorway as possible. "I'd like to keep my dick, and I can't exactly do that if you interrupt their girl's night."

"I don't give a fuck about your dick." Logan huffed, his scowl deepening. Wade was only wasting time by blocking him in. He was going to get you out of that club- even if it meant killing his friend along the way. Or, at least, trying to.

Vanessa and you move against one another, the previous partners you two danced with long forgotten. She knew she had Wade, and that Logan practically claimed you without actually claiming you...but it was still a fun game to play. To flirt with you, to tease you, whether it was friendly or more. It was once only friendly, but after seeing Logan's reaction to when she straddled you and did your make up as you stroked her thighs- well, how could she not amp it up? Vanessa was just as bad as Wade, truth be told. She loved watching Logan's nostrils flare in angered jealousy, in possessiveness. However, he would never interrupt the situation with you present. If he did, then you'd learn how much he wanted you. And that was outright unacceptable. You were too young, too innocent. He felt guilt for even thinking about you. There were plenty of other men your age- but God did he wish you never looked at them.

With your back facing the door as you did a body shot off of Vanessa, Logan's form bursting through the club door went unnoticed by you. His eyes immediately landed on your mouth moving to the shot glass resting in between Vanessa's chest. She had noticed him first and, with a smug smirk. her hand moved to your hair, tugging at it as you downed the shot. Her tongue ran up your face along where a small drip of tequila escaped your mouth. Her eyes remained on his the entire time. Anger coursed through him as he watched you drunkenly melt into her seductions. With clenched teeth, Logan stormed forward to where you and Vanessa were at the bar. Her legs moving to wrap around your hips as she lifted your chin, murmuring a quick apology in your ear.

"Sorry, Hun'" Was all she could get out before you suddenly felt your arm being yanked. Your eyes widened in surprise when you were brought face to face with Logan, who's nose was scrunched in a furious scowl at you.

"Oh-hey, Lo." You smiled brightly at him. His nose scrunched more in distaste. You reeked of alcohol; he could barely even smell the normal scent of you that he adored.

"The hell do you think you're doing?" He spoke through clenched teeth, the vein in his neck popping slightly.

"Um...having fun?" You replied sassily, flashing your own drunk scowl at him.

"That was having fun?" He scoffs, posture straightening as he began to yank your arm.

"Hey, now wait a damn minute!" You huffed, grabbing at a nearby railing that isolated the bar from the dance floor of the club. "I aint going anywhere!"

"The hell you are!" Logan was in your face before you could react, using the only thing he knew- intimidation. He expected you to back down, or at least murmur a smart-ass comment as you surrendered like you always did.

However, you didn't budge. Not this time. You weren't going to be bullied out of having fun. He watched as your cheeks puffed out, a red flush to them from the drinking you had done, your eyes narrowed at him. Your eyebrows furrowed together to in a deadly glare.

"Princess, now is not the time." Logan started, moving to pull your arm once more. You stood your ground firmly, unmoving.

"Don't you princess me, mister. I'm staying." You huffed out, snatching your arm from his grasp as you crossed them over your chest. His eyes flicked to your breasts for a second, he could feel a groan in the back of his throat just at the sight of them. They looked like they'd spill out of your dress's neckline at any minute. He both loved and hated it.

"No, you arnt." He battled.

"You can either stay and party with Vanessa and I or you can leave."

"I aint staying."

"Then you can leave."

"You aint staying either."

"Yes. I. Am."

"Princess..."

"Face it, Lo. I'm not leaving. Now you can either man up and dance with me or leave me the fuck alone." Logan watched as you jutted your chin out, directing your face from his. He sighed over dramatically. You were too damn stubborn for your own good. His hand found your hip.

"Fine."

A grin broke onto your lips as you registered his words. Leaping up, you wrapped your arms around his neck. "Oh! This will be so much fun!" Logn instinctively caught you, gently guiding you back to standing on the floor as you leaned against him, staring into his eyes adamantly. He knew it was wrong to relish the way you pressed against him. It was wrong to enjoy it. You were too young for him, he knew it. Too sweet, too innocent. He didn't deserve you, or your attention. But the way you stared at him now, eyes lidded from a sense of...hell, was that affection he saw in your eyes? It was directed at him? Why? Logan made no move to resist as you pulled him to the dance floor of the club, soon grinding your ass against him.

He watched your hands fly above your head, into your hair, and into the air. He forced his ears to focus on your drunk singing instead of the music the club blasted. He couldn't help but find himself entranced by you. Logan's cock twitched as you grinded your rear against him, his hands instinctively found your hips, guiding you how he wanted you to move as he swayed against you. His mouth soon nipping at the revealed skin of your neck and shoulders.

A groan escaped his throat when your hands moved behind you and into his hair. His hand slid off your hip and towards your thigh, slipping under your dress as his fingertips trailed your inner thigh. Logan buried his face into your neck, sniffing deeply to inhale your scent. The disgusting scent of liquor wafted into his nose. You still smelled too much like cheap gin and shots for his liking. He always considered himself a connoisseur for the smell of alcohol, but he found himself hating it on you. He wanted to smell you, not gin or tequila.

His hand slid out from under your skirt, grasping your hips to stop your movements against him.

"Stop." He grunted out, ignoring the way his body ached to have you against him.

"But..." You pouted softly as you looked back at him, however, upon seeing the seriousness of his expression, you stopped. Pulling away, you turned to face him. "What's wrong?" You asked.

"I can't." He decided with a shake of his head.

"Lo, I'm 21, I'm legal and-" You began, you hated the way he distanced himself from you just because of your age.

"I know you are, Princess." Logan interrupted. "Thats not why I'm stopping." He forced his voice to be softer as he spoke to you, knowing the wrong tone could send you into a drunk crying mess.

"Then why...?" Was all you could get out before his lips pressed against yours, silencing you.

"Because I want you to be fully there when I show you why I'm better than all the shitty men you've taken home." Logan murmured; tone filled with venom when he mentioned your previous flings. A hint of possessiveness clear. You found yourself nodding, silently appreciating the fact that he wasn't going to take advantage of you- even if you were the one throwing yourself at him. "Now come on, let me take you home." His voice was demanding but you were confident it was a request.

"Okay." You nodded, moving to interlock your hands. "Let's get Vanessa."

When Wade saw Vanessa storming his way an hour later, and Logan carrying you over towards his room, drunk and asleep, he was glad he had hidden the knives.

[johnbrand]

New Favorite Brew

With @misctf, continuing their Gridiron Brew series

“David, c’mon we’re gonna be late for yoga!”

Matty shouted, grabbing his mat as he launched himself out of his room. He knew that the pair should not have gotten drunk last night. You could not squeeze that many drinks into twinks skinnier than rails! Matty had stopped while he was ahead–although not super far ahead as he was still a bit hungover–but David had gone hard. He had even pounded back a beer that he had gotten from the liquor store for free before they had arrived at Matty's apartment. They had exclusively drank hard seltzers since graduating a year ago, so when the cashier handed them the beer as a part of a promotion, they laughed. 

But now rushing towards the door, Matty knew they would be doing anything but laughing if they missed this yoga class. They had spent a fortune on securing their spots months ago.

“Ready to go, David?”

“What's goin' on, bro?”

Matty stood in shock for a moment at the naked man on his couch. The brute was large, hairy, and old–probably twice the size, girth, and maturity of Matty. This uber-masculine mammoth of a creature was not at all what Matty had been expecting, causing him to audibly squeak.

“Whatcha lookin’ at, bro?” His voice was deep, resonant and gruff. “Oh yeah, sorry you know how I get when I go too far. Would always lose my clothes by the end of the party, just reliving the good old frat days I guess.”

“I…uh…” Matty stuttered, but quickly recovered himself. Dave was right, this always happened when he got too drunk. “I’ll see you later, I have to get to my yoga class.”

“Sure,” Dave yawned, not even bothering to cover himself as he cracked open another can of beer as his breakfast. “Good luck or whatever, bro!”

Matty left, his bewilderment rapidly evaporating into being simply unfazed. By the time he was in his car, the whole situation was already behind him. Matty’s class was the only thing on his mind. In moments, he had his Top Hits of the 2010s playlist blasting through his earbuds. He luckily made it on time to his class, and afterwards was exhausted. Ripping his sweat-soaked shirt off as soon as he was in his car, Matty took a moment to recover and laid back in his seat. When he opened his eyes again, he was surprised by the metallic glare hitting his eyes.

Twisting around, Matty was surprised to find a can of beer in his car. He presumed it had been misplaced from his and Dave’s shenanigans last night at the liquor store; Matty’s bag of seltzer’s and Dave’s bag of six-packs. The can in question must have slipped out. Curiously, Matty picked up the can, the aluminum exterior slightly warm from having sat in the sun. The label was not anything special, brown with an old-timey football player on the front. The words “Gridiron Brew” were somehow delivered in the most masculine and yet generic font possible.

Feeling a sudden thirst, and growing interest as to why Dave was so addicted to the stuff, Matty carefully cracked it open. He did not know what he expected, but that first sip of standard cheap beer tasted like…cheap beer. There was nothing remarkable, no mouthwatering trigger that made Matty instantly understand why Dave was so obsessed with the stuff. It was probably not fair that he was having it warm, but Matty-

BOOOOOUUUURRRPP!

Matty clasped a hand over his mouth as quickly as possible, his face flushing scarlet. But before the embarrassment had completely resided, his hand moved down to his stomach. His glistening abdominals were cramping up, tightening in on themselves violently underneath his touch. Through his bare skin, it almost felt to Matty as if they were vibrating.

“Oh god…” Matty groaned. Suddenly, the tightness Matty was feeling was softening. Underneath his finger tips, his stomach began to expand, pushing out a thin layer of fat over his abs. A second coat was applied on top of the first, and then a third onto the second, until eventually the bulge emerged over his waistband. And his tight pecs soon jutted out onto his muscle gut with both fat and muscle, their taut nature now loosened dramatically. Frantically, Matty read over the tagline of the beer, his arms and legs bulking up proportionally with his midsection. “Gridiron Brew is for the ex-jock in you!” 

“Nnnhh…broooo…!” Matty pleaded to the open space, his voice taking on a lower and rougher nature. An aggravating warmth began to swarm his already overheated body, testosterone surging as it caused hair to erupt across Matty’s frame. From his dense pubes sprang forth a current of hair tracing over every available inch of his body. Nothing was spared, and Matty could not decipher through his agony if the masculinity upgrade was something to be reviled or cherished.

Matty prayed for his distress to end, gripping his gut and the beer can as his face rounded out, widening before disappearing underneath a thick beard. Age lines and wrinkles carved onto Matty’s once-clean skin, which was quickly growing a bit leathery as his body rapidly aged. Eventually the pain began to fade, and Matty could do nothing beside inhaling and exhaling slowly. Eventually, he realized he had been subconsciously flexing his pecs.

It was a strange sensation, feeling the slabs of meat bounce up and down, but at the same time it was…calming? Matty could not describe it, having never done it before. But then why did it feel so familiar? Feeling his girth, relishing in his massive size. It had been something he had enjoyed since he had discovered it back in high school, right? But that felt like years ago. Was it years ago? Matt nodded slowly–it must have been. Yeah, back when they played good music like the stuff on his Top Hits of the 90s playlist. 

Matt tossed back another swig of his new favorite brew before starting the car. He continued to relish his past glory days, never to realize that moments before he had been living those cherished days, and that they were not mere memories of decades past.

[ashwhowrites]

Hiiii I’m so excited that ur requests are open again!! Could you do a fic with Eddie and reader that are enemies but are in a parenting class and get partnered to take care of a fake baby together this causes them to get to know one another better and eventually fall for each other

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Parenting class

Eddie and Y/N did not get along and everyone knew that. Eddie wasn't sure why he hated Y/N but he knew he did. Y/N thought Eddie was loud and annoying. They bickered anytime they were in a room together.

They only had one class together and it was health. Most of the time Eddie ditched so Y/N lived in her small victories. But a new lesson was being taught- parenting. And to make it worse, they got partnered together.

Y/N groaned as she walked over to Eddie's table and slammed her books down.

"Well hello to you too, gorgeous." Eddie teased. He loved getting under her skin and driving her insane.

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes and sat down

They sat in silence as the teacher explained the project and then handed them a fake baby doll.

"Look, he's kinda ugly, like you!" Eddie smirked as he held the baby and shoved it in her face

"I would rather be a single mom than spend a second pretending to have a child together."

~~~

Eddie had the first shift with the baby. They flipped a coin and he lost. Now he was listening to a fake baby cry non-stop as he tried to sleep. He swore he tried everything, he fed him, changed him, burped him, he did everything Y/N wrote on the list, but the fucker wouldn't stop crying.

He got out of bed and turned on his lamp, he grabbed his dirty jeans off the floor and dug in the pockets. Once he found the piece of paper he was looking for, he walked out to the kitchen to grab the phone.

He tried to zone out the crying as the phone rang, sighing in relief when someone picked up

"Hello?"

"I can't get that baby to shut up," Eddie growled into the phone

"Eddie, I wrote everything down, just read. Goodnight," Y/N yawned

"You don't think I've tried everything? Trust me, calling you is my last resort. Can you come over and just help me?"

"Why should I do that?" she scoffed

"Fine, but if you ever need help I ain't coming," Eddie argued, he went to hang up but she stopped him

"What's your address?"

~

Eddie was cradling the baby doll as he waited for Y/N to arrive. He sighed in relief when he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door and Y/N slipped inside.

"My uncle is in bed so we'll go to my room," Eddie whispered, even though he was sure the baby woke him up

Y/N nodded and followed him into the room

"Hand him over," Y/N sighed, her eyes heavy as the sleep never left her body.

Eddie handed him over, watching with curious eyes as she tucked the baby in her arms. He watched in awe as she cradled the baby and bounced him in her arms, the cries dying out.

Y/N smiled as the baby seemed to calm down

"Do you have a magical touch or something?" Eddie joked, wiping the tiredness from his eyes

Y/N looked up at him, just noticing he was shirtless. She quickly looked at his face and gave him a smirk

"Wouldn't you like to know," she teased

Eddie rolled his eyes but he couldn't help smiling

"Not even if I was dying, dear," he joked.

"Where does he sleep? I'll set him down," Y/N offered as she stood up

"On the bed," Eddie shrugged. He stood up and pulled the sheets back, she stepped next to him. Her soft skin touched his as she set the baby on the bed.

"Hopefully he'll stay asleep until the morning," Y/N said

"I'll walk you out," Eddie offered, Y/N nodded and walked behind him.

"Thank you for helping," he said as he opened the door

"I was helping the baby, don't flatter yourself."

Eddie smiled to himself as she walked out.

~~~

Over the next few weeks, Eddie and Y/N found themselves calling each other for help. Which forced them to hang out and talk to each other.

They learned a few things about each other, which seemed to humanize them. Y/N learned things about Eddie that she liked, and made her look at him differently. Eddie knew that Y/N had struggles in her own life and maybe he was too hard on her.

They didn't realize how easy it was to get along. Eddie found himself enjoying Y/N's presence and wanted her around more. He liked how soft and gentle she was with the baby, it showed a different side of her that he didn't know existed.

Y/N liked seeing Eddie try at something and seeing him care. She even began to find herself attracted to him. He was more open with her and she found herself wishing she could heal all his wounds.

By the time they finished the project, they both formed a huge crush on each other. They got comfortable and began to flirt, testing the waters.

Eddie wanted to ask her out but he was a bit nervous she would say no. He didn't know if being together changed anything or if it was just him. With the project finished, they didn't have an excuse to see each other and Eddie knew the longer he waited the easier it would be for her to find someone else.

He didn't know that she was thinking the same thing. She noticed that he didn't pick on her to make her insecure, but more of picking on her to make her blush. Their comments were less harsh, and he began to compliment her.

Eddie was too chicken to do it in person, so he waited until he got home from school and could ask over the phone.

He gave himself a little pep-talk before he picked up the phone and dialed her number

"Hello?"

He smiled when he heard her voice

"Hey, it's Eddie, I was wondering if you might be interested in getting food together? Like on a date," he swore he was holding his breath once he finished his sentence.

"I'll be ready at seven, and I'd bring flowers if I were you," she said before she hung up, smiling to herself.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlx @ineedmentalhelp123

[holybibly]

❣ 𝔇𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔱𝔶𝔭𝔢 𝔤𝔲𝔶 𝔖𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔱. 𝔐𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔦 ❣ Your dorm closes for the summer, and you are literally left in the middle of the street with endless stacks of romance novels and fluffy blankets. Luckily, Yunho and Yeosang's friends have kindly agreed to take you in until the academic term starts. What neither Yunho nor Yeosang have warned you about is that your new roommates will be two luxurious Dobermans guys. They look like they've stepped straight out of the pages of those twisted romance novels you've been so obsessed with. ❣ 𝔓𝔯𝔬𝔣𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔬𝔯 ℭ𝔥𝔬𝔦 𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 ℑ ❣ It couldn't be better than Professor Choi's personal lecture on Mondays. ❣ 𝔓𝔯𝔬𝔣𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔬𝔯 ℭ𝔥𝔬𝔦 𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 ℑℑ ❣ Your recently divorced philosophy professor is a sight for sore eyes. How could you resist your sexual desires for him when he was the most amazing man you'd ever seen? It is a pity that you never had the no chance that he would like you —shy, awkward, and a virgin to boot. But what are you going to do when you find out that your perfect Professor Choi San is no angel at all and that he spends too much time thinking about what panties you're wearing during lectures? ❣ 𝔘𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔤𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡 𝔉𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔖𝔞𝔫 ❣ Your roommate San fucks you in the shower when the tension between you two gets too hot for you to handle.

❣ 𝔐𝔞𝔣𝔦𝔞 𝔇𝔞𝔡𝔡𝔶 𝔖𝔞𝔫 ❣ Life sucks, but you suck better. Or your mafia daddy needs to relax and you're more than happy to oblige. ❣ ℑ𝔡𝔬𝔩 𝔖𝔞𝔫 ❣ San is one of the members who really wants to have sex after the concert. He's got too much adrenaline and horny energy in him, even though he's physically tired. He needs it badly. ❣ 𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 𝔇𝔞𝔡𝔡𝔶 𝔖𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔱. 𝔜𝔲𝔫𝔥𝔬 ❣ You can always feel the difference between them. San is quiet and calm; he slowly drives you crazy with his touches, preferring to prolong the pleasure for hours. Yunho, on the other hand, is passionate, hot, and impatient; he likes to take you rough and fast. He was like an icy flame, while San was like scorching ice.

❣ 𝔖𝔱𝔢𝔭𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔖𝔞𝔫 ❣ San looks like real candy, do you want to lick it?

❣ 𝔈𝔪𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔯 𝔖𝔞𝔫 ❣ It was a real surprise when you were invited to his chambers tonight, because you could never tell what he wanted. But you knew that word had probably got around - you have a taste for pain. Just like him. ❣ 𝔚𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔴𝔬𝔩𝔣 𝔖𝔞𝔫 ❣ You should have heeded the warnings before you wandered alone through the woods on a full moon night. Or where you're meeting a big, handsome and very mean wolf from whose clutches you won't easily escape and maybe that's exactly what you want. ❣ ℌ𝔶𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔡 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶 𝔠𝔞𝔱 𝔖𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔱. 𝔖𝔢𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔥𝔴𝔞, 𝔐𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔦, ℌ𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔧𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔤, 𝔚𝔬𝔬 ❣ A feline pride of 5 luxurious predators is moving into the house next door, and perhaps a little sugary lamb is just what they crave for dinner. ❣ ℭ𝔬𝔴𝔟𝔬𝔶 𝔖𝔞𝔫 𝔉𝔱. 𝔖𝔢𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔥𝔴𝔞, 𝔐𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔦, ℌ𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔧𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔤 ❣ Hot cowboys with a lactation kink and a strong oral fixation who find it difficult to keep their hands to themselves when they meet a pretty busty waitress in a saloon who works part-time as a breastfeeding nanny during the day. ❣ 𝔄𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔠𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔠 𝔟𝔩𝔲𝔢 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔳𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔰 𝔖𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔱. 𝔖𝔢𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔥𝔴𝔞 ❣ Aristocratic blue blood vampires Sanhwa who cannot share you with each other.

[sunflowerreid]

Request for a Spencer smut where y/n gets handy under the table while out for drinks with the team after getting back from a case

“Please not now”

Timing - S.R

Warnings: Edging, sub!Spencer, Handjob, Public sex (Kind of)

There are many things you could never get tired of, the deliciously jammy doughnuts from the cafe by yours and Spencer’s apartment, the sounds of the birds first thing in the morning as the sunlight creeps through the shades, the smile on Spencer’s face as he rambles on about something he’s passionate about. But the one thing you know you love the most is the way Spencer squirms. Whether it’s down to your hands touching him in a particularly sensitive spot or when you maintain eye contact across the room while licking a lollipop in a completely innocent manner. You absolutely loved making him squirm. Having been denied this simple pleasure for 4 whole days due to sleeping in different rooms while on a case and having to maintain professional you were dying to get your hands on him.

However, there was one problem, well actually there were six problems, all sat around the table separating you both. After solving a challenging case you’d all agreed to celebrate at your normal bar. You absolutely adore your team with all of your heart but with Spencer sat across from you giggling at a joke Garcia had mentioned, the temptation was beginning to override your common senses. No one could blame you, you had your gorgeous man in front of you causing your thighs to press together, underwear ruined once again. You had to do something about it, the throbbing was becoming too much. Suddenly remembering what had happened earlier that day, the way Spencer had deliberately brushed up against you, pressing his crotch subtly against yours while grinning cheekily. That was enough cause for you to grin to yourself, a wicked idea coming to mind.

You smirked at him from across the table, making eye contact with him as you lifted up your leg, heel slowly brushing up his leg. His eyes widened slightly catching on to your plan as your heel got higher and higher teasingly brushing up his thigh towards his crotch, you knew that look ‘Please not now’. He stiffened up slightly, eyes glossing over as his cheeks began to flush. He squeaked quietly, jumping in his seat as your heel made contact with his growing erection. “God Reid are you drunk already” Garcia giggled next to him. “Maybe had one too many” he answered shyly. “Awww pretty boy I always knew you were a light weight” Morgan teased from across the table next to him. “Leave my boy alone, he’s perfect just as he is” you nudged Morgan, knowing the praise would get Spencer worked up. You could feel him throbbing through his trousers, a noticeable stain appearing through the fabric by the leaking tip of him. He was twitching in his seat, desperate for more friction as you continued your torturously slow pace. Everyone was too busy having conversations amongst themselves to notice what was going on, no matter how obvious Spencer was making it. He couldn’t sit still, as a moment of weakness overcame him, placing his hand on your heel to thrust up against you. You knew the look on his face, eyes rolling back slightly into his head, mouth opened slightly, cheeks flushed, eyebrows rising. He was close, a few more thrusts and he would cum in his boxers. You allowed him a few more jumpy thrusts before removing your heel from him. He groaned quietly, staring at you like you’d just ripped his favourite book apart from across the table while you maintained a conversation with Emily. You knew it was mean, cruel even. But he had to be punished for what he’d done before, he knew better.

“Right guys I’ve got to bounce” Morgan announced, blissfully unaware of an edged Spencer a few feet away. “Yeah we need to go to” you agreed, giving Spencer an out as relief washed over his face “Yeah bye guys see you soon” he whispered following you out of the bar door towards your car since you’d only had one drink, planning on driving home afterwards to save you walking back. “God Y/n so horny please, need you so bad” he whimpered approaching you from behind as you reached the car. You turned around running your hands through his curls as your lips met. “In the car baby” you ordered as he immediately rushed over to the passenger seat. He was on you as soon as you got in your side, hands desperately grabbing onto anything he could reach, “Please fuck please Y/n so hard need to cum so bad” he whimpered kissing down your neck. “Alright honey calm down I’ve got you” you reassured him gently. “Trousers off”. He scrambled back to his seat quickly undoing his belt and pulling his trousers down. He was throbbing for you, streaks of precum running down the side of him from his leaking slit. “Please y/n please” he whined thrusting up into the air. You smirked to yourself running your finger up and down his erection, barely touching him. He twitched, a spurt of precum leaking down towards his base as you finally took pity on him, wrapping your hand around his base before pumping up to his tip. “UGH FUCK YES” he moaned loudly, hips humping up towards you as his head rolled back onto the headrest. “God yes please faster, faster” he whined begging for more friction. You quickened you hand, thumb swiping over his tip after every stroke. “M’sorry gonna cum, can’t hold it, cumming ,cumming,I’M CUMMING FUCKKK” he screamed as you finally granted the relief he’d been waiting for. “That’s it honey, that’s it” you whispered, calming him down as he came down from his high, gentle murmurs from him as he buried his head into your neck, slumping over the centre of the car. “I know honey, did so good for me”. It was peaceful, calm, perfect. Well, it was. The little bubble you two were in was immediately burst the moment you made eye contact with a man leaving the bar. Your boss. Aaron Hotchner. The best profiler you have ever known, the man who knows everything. You had no idea how much he’d seen but from the eyebrow raise and slight smirk on his face you knew he knew exactly what was up. God your timing sucks, you’ll both have to work on that.

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

Gojo and Geto with bad bitch Chubby Reader

Guys, I tried to avoid being a Gojo stan...I tried so hard to hate him...but the pull was too strong. He got my ass. He's too silly. He's too cute the little shit. He's too perfect. Geto's great too before he lost his shit and went psycho the two are just too great to pass up.

2024 WILL BE THE YEAR THAT I GET YOU BITCHES TO PREACH STRONG, CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT but not too independent bc these men are still yummy af CHUBBY READER! No longer will I be insecure about my weight because these men LOVE to see me coming AND going, I can tell you that.

WARNING: Fatphobia (happens when first meeting Gojo & Geto—they’re teens trying to bully Reader, but she handles herself because they’re idiots), A little angst with the small amount of bullying but I hope I made up for it, Cursing

✧༺♥༻✧

Imagine you, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko being classmates and friends during their schooling at Jujutsu High. All of you are powerful threats not to be taken lightly. The boys were undoubtedly freaks of nature with how strong they were—though, you had doubled over laughing alongside Shoko a couple of times when you heard them deem themselves "the strongest duo", as if they were some cool loner wolf types. Shoko was a master in the medicinal field; she made any injury look like a breeze to clean. She'd stitch them up no problem with her cursed energy and send them merrily on their way with a swift kick to their backside.

You definitely have more proficiency with cursed energy usage for combat more so than healing, but you could manage healing yourself just fine. You’d been born into a clan, not as highly revered as the Zenin or Gojo clans but still notable, so you’ve been taught from an early age how to wield cursed energy. Sacrificing yourself for the greater good of the world has been drilled into your head since birth, and you agreed with it. The world’s innocence needs to be protected from the cursed dangers life creates. Sure, there are bad people in the world, but the good people make life worth living. At least, that’s what you choose to believe.

While you’re just a normal—aside from the slight infinite power and jaw-dropping strength—girl, you are different in one more physical way. You’re chubbier than most, and not by a small bit.

Are you insecure about it?

Hell fucking no!

You’re a bad bitch. Fantastic face, banging body, stunning smile, bright eyes, a kind but strong heart, and even a cute butt to top it off. You knew this world inside out with how cruel it could be to plus sized folk, and while you took the beating for far too long without fighting back, you took a couple of steps back a few years ago to look at the situation. Why let people push you around like you didn’t matter? Why let them speak to you like you’re lesser than them simply because you weigh more? You were done being talked to like you were filth underneath their boots.

Since that new perspective, you’ve chosen the road of self love and hands rated E for everyone. You’re kind and sweet to those who reciprocate the respect. To those who try you, you beat their asses with a smile. “Education on Human Decency” is what you’ve begun to call the smackdowns since many want to try casting judgment in snide remarks or sneering looks. They can try these hands instead :)

That’s where Jujutsu High and the headaches you know as Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru fit into this philosophy of yours.

You were homeschooled by your clan in the first year of your sorcery high school. Though, after much begging for a change of scenery and yearning for social interactions other than your family and neighbors, they allowed you to go to a high school centered on jujutsu sorcery the next school year.

When you started Jujutsu High in your second year, that is where you met Shoko, Gojo, and Geto, your classmates. The first thought to cross your mind was how small this crowd was. Sure, it wasn’t like the classes you’ve had before had many students in them either; the world of curses and cursed energy wasn’t exactly a booming population to start with, especially when every year is the same class roster composed of the few brothers and sisters you had. Considering that, three new faces was much better than before! You introduced yourself with a joyful tone and an eager handshake.

You started with Shoko since she was the only other girl. You’re glad you did. Shoko, who you originally thought would be tricky to get along with since she gave off “rebel” vibes with that unlit cigarette dangling from her lips and you were nothing of the sort, held a grin and took your handshake with grace. She told you she liked your spunk, that it was nice to be around another girl rather than more stinking boys. You agreed with her with a relieved sigh. You two shared a laugh and chatted some more, each of you discussing your thoughts of the school and figuring out your mutual interests.

Soon enough, you were interrupted by someone giving a very noticeable and forced cough behind you. You turned and were met with two boys, one with jet black hair and a sly grin and the other one with silvery moonlight colored strands sharing the same expression hidden behind circular sunglasses. The white haired boy was leaning heavily on the black haired boy with one arm propped on his shoulder as the black-haired boy crossed his arms in front of himself. Seems like the two are close. No matter.

You stuck your hand out, another smile—admittedly, this one was a little more forced than the one you shared with Shoko—and gave your name. Suguru was the first to bite. He grabbed your hand with a smooth, warm grip, and exchanged his name. His shake felt sincere, though the cunning smirk still laid on his lips.

You tried to shake the other boy’s hand after letting Suguru go, but he decided otherwise. He swiftly with no mercy said he wasn’t going to shake hands with the likes of “you”. You raised an eyebrow, already sensing the insult he would try to hurl at you. One thing bullies are is predictable. None of them have any creative bone in their body, they’re like leeches, in a way. Mooching off other clever remarks they’ve heard used before through the Internet or their idiot friends. Though, they alway reproduce it much shitter than the first time they heard it.

He leaned in with a smile and yapped about how if he touches you, some of your fat might rub off on him. Gojo tries to drag Geto into bullying you too by shamelessly asking if Geto is worried that will happen to him now that he’s so brazenly touched you. As much as you wanted Suguru to be his own person, to be better than the loser clinging to him like a koala, he chimed in that while Gojo’s afraid of that, that that could never happen to him. He sneered while looking down at you that he actually has the discipline to keep the weight off. The two of them share an evil snicker together.

Oh, so that’s how they wanna play it.

Okay. You don’t mind showing a bitch their place.

As Shoko pipes up and tells them to shut the hell up, you stop her. You give her a kind smile that says “I love you, but please back the fuck up as I rock these bitches world”. Her eyebrows jump up in surprise, but she gives you a nod. She quiets down.

You choose to laugh with them. They slowly shut their mouths, finding laughing at you not that funny when you don’t crumple under their taunts like they’d expected. You then explain to them that what you find so funny is that punks like them are so easy to read and, subsequently, ruin. You told them they need to find better insults to steal if they wanna cackle like they’re some kind of drunk hyenas and, unless they get more creative, they’re not worth the air they take from others. You turned to walk away, but since you just couldn’t help yourself, you gave the both of them a swift kick to the chest. Unprepared for the action, they both were sent careening back, but remained standing. You also snarkily nagged that being “undisciplined in weight loss” gave you the extra weight to knock their scrawny asses back that far.

Shoko gave you a hearty high five while laughing at them getting what they deserve. Gojo, though baffled at your defiance, is ready to start throwing punches, as he spews half-assed insults left and right. Geto manages to keep his thoughts to himself, but you do note his expression has definitely become sour. This little scrap is swiftly interrupted by your new teacher, Masamichi Yaga, when he enters and orders the class to settle down. He also snuffs Gojo’s babbling tantrum with a merciless smack to his forehead.

You give a small grin stuck your tongue out at the two when Mr. Masamichi turned his back. From then on, it was war.

You, Geto, and Gojo fought constantly in the beginning

When they (mostly Gojo now) tried to stir shit with you, you’d fling their rudeness right back at them

Whether they tried to pick on your weight, or cheery personality, or strength (which they couldn’t make too much fun off since you were only a little less strong than they were, but so was everyone else compared to their insane powers), you were always ready to kick their asses

You didn’t resent them for their teasing, mostly since you had a good head on your shoulders and you know that Gojo’s only deflecting all the shit he hates about himself onto other people, but they sure got on your nerves sometimes

So, you decided soon into your acquaintance with these dopes that instead of simply beating their asses every time they said some wack shit and never correcting the behavior, you’re going put an end to their bullying of based on others appearances

Because, who knows. You have enough self love and confidence to defend yourself against their rude remarks, but not everyone does. What happens if they target other plus sized people who maybe can’t or won’t defend themselves?

So, when they’d try to make fun of you, you’d correct them with sincerity and help them understand why that would hurt to someone

Geto pretty much never made a passing comment like that again towards you. You’re happy to see that change in him

Gojo huffed and puffed after what he called “your lecture”, but you also saw change in him

After that, it was slow progress to all be friends

Shoko and you were doing great! Hanging out outside of school, dragging her along with you to do some window shopping, eating a sit down lunch together, going to the nearest bookstore, grabbing a yummy sweet treat, stargazing—you did it all together!

She always made a fuss that she had “no interest” in what you would force her to do, but you could secretly tell she liked doing girly stuff together. As long as she could have a smoke break in between these hang outs, she was all good

The first time you, Geto, and Gojo made a recovery in your rocky relationship was when they asked if they could come along with the two of you to get a treat together

You were a bit hesitant to share the thing that brings you joy with the two people who tried to make you the butt of the joke, but you threw them bone and agreed

You four walked down the sidewalk, mostly you chit chatting with Shoko, when Gojo butted his way into the conversation at your mention of Kikufuku.

You and him bonded over your mutual love of the delicate, bouncy sweet treat and you watched as his eyes sparkled like a little kid when you said the place you were going to had an excellent Kikufuku

You know, when Gojo isn’t being a menace, he’s actually nice to share a conversation with

Geto teased Gojo for his astounding sweet tooth, and explained to you an embarrassing story of Gojo losing his mind one time when a dog stole one of his dorayaki treats and ran off

You laughed as Gojo tried to hit Geto as payback for sharing the “secret” but Geto fended off his flailing

Maybe I'll come back to this idea one day when I'm not hung up on the bullying. If you guys like this idea, I might continue it with less bullying. I am a baby when it comes to angst lol. I really do love these boys, I just don't think my heart is ready for the subject matter I wrote.

✧༺♥༻✧

[drmaddict]

N.F.I. - Not Fucking Invited

Summary: Michael and his girlfriend are spending Christmas with Michael's family. One morning, when they both just want to enjoy their togetherness, they are both rudely interrupted by somone who what not fucking invited.

Word count: 904

Author's note: Somehow I seem to have an urge to let Ewan's characters get caught.

She doesn't know what she thought Michael's family would be like, but definitely not so... normal.

His father was quite a successful builder. His mother was a hearty housewife. His older brother was training to be a car mechanic and the family dachshund, Baloo, had hip problems.

It had been strange when she first entered the house. He had invited her round for Christmas. He said it was because he wouldn't have a single lively conversation otherwise. But he seemed slightly nervous, when he introduced her to his mother.

A warm, slightly chubby woman who almost broke her back the first time she hugged her. Just like his father crushed her fingers, when he shook her hand.

It was all unexpectedly unremarkable. Most of the time the two of them withdrew and spent a few quiet hours together, but somehow his brother always found a way to interrupt them both.

Whether they were discussing their last lecture, gossiping about fellow students or just sitting together in silence. He found them.

Michael always looked more annoyed than the time before. Siblinglove didn't even seem to spare geniuses.

Only in the morning did they really had their peace from him. He was a late riser and therefore no danger until about eleven o'clock.

They were both still lying under thick down on chistmas day. The sun was just about to stretch over the horizon. She looked at his face. Relaxed. His eyes closed. His glasses were on the bedside table. His hair was tousled. Only his thumb, lazily tracing circles on her hip under the blanket, revealed that he was already awake.

She bit her lip. It had been quite a while. The pre-Christmas stress and preparations for the final tests for the semester had kept them both apart. And nothing had really happened since they'd been here.

But his thumb on her skin made her sigh silently.

She pushed herself even closer to him. With a mischievous grin, she put one leg over his hips and pulled herself as close to his body as possible.

His eyes fluttered open and looked at her questioningly. With a grin, she slipped the pantys off her legs and simply threw them away. Michael's eyes showed her, that he understood.

His gaze flitted briefly to the bedroom door, but then he too pulled his pyjamas and shorts out of the way. They caressed each other lazily. Kissed without haste. He slipped his hands under the sweatshirt he had once 'lent' her. They cheered each other on quietly and then he sliped into her.

Under the protection and warmth of the blanket, they gave themselves to each other.

She knew he liked this kind of sex. There was something meditative about it. It calmed his otherwise restless mind.

She ran her nails lightly over his back under his shirt. He buried his face in his-her  sweatshirt. The world was perfect.

Until the door opened.

"Get up already. There are presents.", his brother whined.

They both looked at him, perplexed.

"You're 24! Can't you wait until after breakfast like any normal person?"

"No!"

"Get out of my room!"

His brother leaned against the doorframe. She realised in that moment all too well, that Michael was still inside her. Involuntarily, her centre tightened at the thought. Michael's breath hitched.

"Am I interrupting something?", his brother grinned.

"Always.", Michael bit out. His hips jerked forwards slightly.

"Then come down." He said sweetly and disappeared. The door still completely open.

Michael took a deep breath. "Fuck.", he whispered. "You like that.", he simply stated. There was no question to be found.

My hips twitched slightly at the thought of the open door.

"It's surprising us both.", she whispered.

Michael picked up his rhythm again. Faster than before, but his hips only moved minimally to minimise the rustling of the blanket.

She buried her hands in his hair. Moved towards him just as quickly. His thumb found its way between her and onto her bundle of nerves.

The knot inside her tightened. Her nails clawed into his shirt and then she fell. With her head buried against his chest, she jerked haphazardly and pulled him into the abyss with her.

They lay there, slightly out of breath. Still entwined. He buried his face in her hair. She savoured the soft, washed-out fabric of his T-shirt on her cheek.

They made no attempt to break away. They both enjoyed the feeling of still being connected. They both let themselves drift with the cosy lightness.

"Are you coming for breakfast? Your brother is driving me crazy.", they both heard Mrs. Gavey's cheerful voice.

"Yes Mum.", Michael said far too quickly and watched tensely as his mother disappeared down the corridor again.

He jumped up frantically, completely ignoring the fact that he was half naked, and quickly slammed the door shut.

"Fuck.", he whispered.

She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. "Sorry.", she whispered back.

He just shook his head. "We'd better get dressed or my dad will be standing here too."

She smirked, but fished for her knickers and reached for her toiletry bag. She planted a quick kiss on his lips and wanted to leave to the bathroom, but he stoped her by the upper arm.

"Don't think we're not repeating this in the library.", he clarified.

She smiled, but her stomach fluttered excitedly at the thought.

"I can hardly wait."

"Little minx."

[cece693]

Sword Fighting (Nico Di Angelo x Son of Aphrodite)

Summary: You were a likable asshole—everything not associated with Aphrodite. You were devilishly handsome but with a temper of Zeus himself. It was as if you were a byproduct of Aphrodite and Ares. Unsurprisingly, you catch the eyes of many, but more so, the son of Hades, Nico Di Angelo.

tags: no specific timeline/book, oblivious idiots in love, Nico isn't dating Will, you did have something with the son of Apollo, dancing around feelings

Nico watched from the shadows, eyes fixed on the training field where you and Percy Jackson were locked in a heated sparring match. Each movement you made was precise, and confident—like you were born with a sword in your hand. The sunlight caught the sharp angles of your face, highlighting the look of sheer determination in your eyes as you deflected Percy’s swing with a graceful sidestep.

Nico tried to look away. He knew he should, but something kept his gaze glued to you. Perhaps it was the influence of Aphrodite in your veins, that inherent allure that seemed to draw in everyone around you, making them wish they could be closer, even when they knew you could be merciless. But deep down, Nico knew it wasn’t just that. He had felt the allure of others before, including Percy, but what he felt now was different. It was stronger.

You were unlike anyone he’d met at camp. A likable asshole, some called you, a paradox that intrigued him. While most children of Aphrodite were known for their beauty and charm, you were the polar opposite. Devilishly handsome, yes, but with a temper that could rival even Zeus himself. It was as if the gods had mixed the charms of your mother with the fierce spirit of Ares, creating something dangerously compelling. And that danger was precisely what caught Nico’s attention.

Your sword collided with Percy’s in a shower of sparks, and a grin spread across your face. The thrill of the fight, the intensity of it—those things stirred something inside you that Nico could almost feel from where he stood. It was part of what made you so maddeningly attractive. While others found themselves drawn to you for your looks or your charisma, Nico was captivated by that spark, that raw, untamed energy you seemed to possess.

And it frustrated him.

Nico wasn’t one to get swept up in emotions, especially not for someone so openly infuriating. You were arrogant, quick-tempered, and brimming with an insufferable confidence. Yet, there you were, invading his every thought. He wanted to hate you, to dismiss you as just another self-absorbed child of Aphrodite. But every time he watched you—whether you were laughing with friends, glaring at someone who had crossed you, or fighting as you were now—he felt his resolve crumble a little more.

Percy swung his sword in a wide arc, but you were faster, ducking under it and stepping to the side. “You’re getting sloppy, Jackson!” you teased, voice tinged with that self-assured arrogance Nico had grown used to hearing.

“Yeah, yeah,” Percy grumbled, adjusting his stance. “Just you wait.”

You turned your head slightly, as if sensing Nico’s gaze on you. For a split second, your eyes met his, a flicker of something unreadable passing between you. Nico’s heart skipped a beat. Then, just as quickly, you turned back to Percy, deflecting another attack with a casual flick of your wrist.

“You’re staring again, Di Angelo.” A familiar voice came from behind him. Not bothering to turn, Nico felt Will Solance come and stand next to him, probably wearing a knowing smirk. He felt his cheeks burning, “Shut up, Solace.”

No heat was behind his words; after all, it seemed foolish to argue with one of his only friends. Will chuckled, glancing past Nico to where you continued to spar with Percy. “He has that effect on people, you know.” he remarked with a knowing smile.

Nico’s jaw tightened, an unexpected pang of jealousy curling in his chest. He knew Will meant nothing by it, but the reminder stirred something inside him, something dark and possessive. You and Will had a brief romance once, something that had lasted only a few months before you both decided to part ways amicably. But despite the clean break, the memory of your closeness with Will gnawed at Nico. He hated that it did. The two of you had managed to stay friends, and he couldn’t deny that Will still harbored a certain fondness for you—one that Nico wasn’t sure he could compete with.

“Right,” Nico muttered, eyes narrowing as he watched you effortlessly parry another of Percy’s attacks. “He seems to have that effect on everyone.”

Will raised an eyebrow, glancing sideways at Nico. “Jealous, are we?”

Nico shot him a glare. “No.” he lied, a little too quickly. He hated how transparent he could be sometimes, especially around Will, who knew him too well for comfort.

Will sighed, his smile softening. “Look, I get it. He’s…hard to ignore.” He paused, choosing his words carefully. “But you should know, our thing was just a fling. We’re friends now, and he’s—”

“Don’t,” Nico cut in sharply, his voice tight. “I don’t need you to explain anything.”

"But—" Will tried to speak, however, Nico had already disappeared. Huffing in frustration, the son of Apollo continued watching as you easily beat Percy, sword hovering dangerously under his chin. When would those two oblivious idiots realize they're pinning for one another?

[it-happened-one-fic]

Sleep Well - Vil

Author Notes: Just based on this and the fact that I have the entire vampires series it looks like I have a serious Vil issue. But, in reality, I've had this written for a bit and it's just been gathering dust in my google docs while I occasionally polish it. This fic was written and edited while I listened to the acoustic version "If I Lose Myself" by OneRepublic. As per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender Neutral Reader/ sfw/ fluff/ romance

Word Count: 1243

Everyone had a safe place that they liked to lose themselves in. This was a simple and true fact. And for Vil, that place was you. 

But, to be honest, he really didn’t know who or what your safe place was. Though he couldn’t entirely deny that he would like for it to be him. 

Though it hadn’t been immediate by any means, you had become his safe place after you accepted him even when you’d seen him at his worst. Not just the pretty face, not just the poised person, and not just the fame.

Him, in his entirety. Everything that was and would always be Vil Schoenheit. 

You weren’t daunted by his fame or sometimes less-than-pleasant demeanor, and you hardly seemed to demand any bizarre expectations of him that so often came along with anyone who was a fan. Instead, you just existed and allowed him to exist in that same way. No real expectations beyond him being himself.

But since the moment Vil had realized that about you, you’d always been in Vil’s world. Even when it wasn’t always obvious.

Sometimes you were just on the outer fringes of his life, attending the very same school he did, but from another dorm. And at other times you would appear in his peripheral vision, laughing alongside your friends and waving at Epel as he walked over to join your little group. And if your eyes met Vil’s then you would always smile and wave at him. 

Joyful and welcoming of his presence even when others were whispering about how Pomefiore’s Housewarden was in this corridor and about what he might be doing.

It was refreshing and even a little startling. Rather like splashing water in one’s face after a lengthy and tiring day. It would surprise him, and then he would immediately relax before raising a hand in a return greeting.

If he was totally honest with himself, Vil far preferred the moments when you were close to him, though.

Even if it was just the two of you sitting side by side as you awaited some sort of class activity or for Crowley to explain his new grand scheme to the entire school, there was something relaxing about your presence and the way you always greeted him with at least a small smile. 

Even when you were perfectly exhausted, just as you obviously were today.

None of you knew exactly what Crowley wanted, and the headmage simply would not get on with his speech. You, Vil, and everyone else of any real importance were assembled here and had been seated for what felt like hours. 

You’d approached the young man and sat down next to him, a slight smile and a weary, “Hello,” on your lips before you’d turned your gaze to the dais that Crowley had appeared on. And that had been at least an hour ago.

Vil hadn’t been able to ask how your day had been or if you knew what Crowley wanted this time. But he’d been content to simply sit by your side as the two of you listened to the exuberant headmage prattle on about this, that, and, of course, the other. And at this point, even Vil’s attention was beginning to stray as the headmage continued on.

But Vil stiffened as suddenly he felt a light weight rest against his shoulder. 

He didn’t have to glance to know what it was, but he still found himself looking down and immediately seeing your peaceful, sleeping face.

If it were anyone else, Vil probably would’ve woken them up and even felt slightly miffed. But it wasn’t just anyone. It was you, and you were exhausted. And even if he might never admit it, Vil knew perfectly well that he played favorites when it came to you.

So Vil relaxed, not drawing attention to your relaxed, slumbering position as he continued to listen to Crowley’s droning speech.

A droning speech that lasted for at least another thirty minutes.

Thirty minutes during which Vil carefully slipped an arm around you to better support you as you rested so that you wouldn’t wake with any soreness.

It didn’t take long for everyone to file out of the room after Crowley finished. Everyone filling the area with muttered complaints and sleepy yawns until the room was empty except for two people.

You and Vil.

Your eyelids fluttered as the clatter continued as people finally finished exiting, and Vil felt an amused smile cross his face at the motion. Idly wondering if you were dreaming about something that somehow explained the racket from just moments ago.

Through the window the sky was an exquisite painting of reds, yellows, and oranges. The death of the lengthy day that had seemingly drained you. 

But Vil wasn’t complaining. Instead, he carefully woke you with a gentle squeeze of your shoulder.

You mumbled something unintelligible that had Vil’s smile spreading as your eyes slowly opened. A bleariness to your gaze that clearly revealed exactly how well you’d been resting as you blinked groggily. 

“Vil?” You slowly lifted your head, frowning as you slowly focused your gaze on him. His name was mumbled, but he could at least understand you this time, and he dipped his head in a half-nod to better meet your eyes.

“Did you sleep well, Tater tot?” There was a teasing lilt to his tone that seemed only to make you frown more until realization began to dawn in your eyes as you abruptly finished waking up.

“I-” You glanced around, almost frantically, as you began to register exactly what had happened and where you’d been napping.

“Crowley’s speech is already done. Don’t worry. You didn’t miss anything important. He managed to not say anything in all that time that he spoke,” Vil reassured you in a dry tone as he watched you scan the room with wide eyes before looking back his way, this time with a flustered expression.

“I’m so sorry; I really didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, Tater tot. I didn’t mind.” Vil could practically hear the smile on his face in his own words. And if this were a conversation he were overhearing, he probably would’ve rolled his eyes at how soft his voice sounded. 

But here he was, doting on you and losing his usual chilly demeanor as he smiled fondly at your embarrassment.

“I do recommend that you work on getting more sleep during nighttime hours, though. Not resting is horrible for your skin, your mentality, and your entire body.”  He paused, tilting his head as he scanned your face before he smiled and dropped his scolding tone, “Take better care of yourself, Tater tot. You’ll worry those who care for you.”

He watched as you visibly relaxed, a half-smile appearing on your face as you nodded, “I’ll try.”

You looked out the window towards the slowly darkening sky, “I guess I should let you go though. You’ve got better places to be than sitting here next to me.”

Your words made him frown, simply because of how wrong they were. But he didn’t object as you stood, raising your hand in farewell as you smiled fondly down at him, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Vil. Sleep well.”

A half-smile worked its way onto his face at your well wishes, and he found himself standing and grasping your hand in his. Startling you as he gave it an affectionate squeeze, “Indeed. Sweet dreams, my sweet potato.”

[dovesdreaming]

Deadpools guide to keeping you alive

Summary: You have a habit of reminding everyone to take care of themselves, even though you often forget to do it for yourself. Wade, being Wade, notices, and in his own ridiculous yet sweet way, steps in to help you remember the little things.

Request

Masterlist

-

You sat on the couch, curled up with your phone, scrolling aimlessly through social media while Wade, in full Deadpool attire, was standing on the coffee table, striking ridiculous superhero poses for no apparent reason. He’d started doing it about ten minutes ago, just because he could. One hand on his hip, the other flexed, he looked like a cross between a professional wrestler and an action figure from the 90s. "Looking good, Wade” you said absently, not even glancing up from your screen. "Have you had any water today?". “Hydration is for the weak!" he declared, though he immediately reached for the water bottle you’d left on the coffee table and took a big gulp, mask and all. You weren’t entirely sure how it worked, but you’d stopped asking those kinds of questions a long time ago. You smiled at his antics and shifted, feeling a little light-headed, but brushed it off. It happened sometimes. Not a big deal. Wade, however, noticed the slight wobble in your movement. He paused mid-pose, tilting his head toward you. "Hey, babe, you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out faster than I can regenerate a new spleen”.

You waved him off, though your stomach growled quietly. "Yeah, I’m fine. Just haven’t eaten yet, I guess. No big deal”. Wade’s eyes widened beneath his mask, and he jumped off the coffee table with a surprisingly graceful landing. "Uh, what? You guess? You haven’t eaten yet?" He checked the clock on the wall. "It’s 4 PM. That's not 'yet,' that’s 'barely survived on air alone!”. You frowned, genuinely surprised by the time. You’d gotten up early that morning, thrown yourself into work, and totally lost track of everything else. Again. “Oh…” You blinked. “Right. Oops?”.

Wade crossed his arms and gave you a look you knew well, the ‘I’m about to be ridiculous but also right’ look. “Let me get this straight: you’ve reminded me, multiple times, to drink water today-thank you for that, by the way-but you forgot to eat?” You shrugged, trying to play it off, though the light-headedness was starting to catch up to you. “I get distracted, okay? I’ve got a lot going on in my head sometimes”. Wade didn’t argue with that. Instead, he sighed and sat down next to you, pulling you into his side. “Alright, here's the deal. You’re gonna sit right here, not move a muscle- except to blink, breathe, and keep that heart pumping I guess, and I’m gonna make you some food”.

You started to protest. “Wade, you don’t have to-“ But he was already up, bounding toward the kitchen with surprising energy for a guy who’d been play posing on a coffee table moments before. “I do have to! Because apparently, you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached, and I can’t have that, babe. You’d look weird without it”. You chuckled as you watched him dig through the fridge, though there was a part of you that felt a little guilty. This wasn’t the first time you’d forgotten something important. Wade had found you passed out on the couch before because you’d stayed up working for nearly two days straight. And then there was the time you forgot to drink for an entire day while binge watching a new show. Wade had quickly gotten you a glass of whatever was closest whilst gently scolding you.

Still, despite your forgetfulness, you always made sure to look out for your friends. You’d tell Wade, and anyone else, to “drink more water!” or “take breaks!” but when it came to yourself, you… just forgot. It wasn’t on purpose. It was like your brain got too full, and the little things just slipped through the cracks. You were pulled out of your thoughts by the clatter of pots and pans in the kitchen. Wade was muttering to himself, something about "smoking chimichangas" and “how do normal people make sandwiches without a sword?” But a few minutes later, he returned with a plate in hand, two sandwiches that looked like they’d survived a battle, but were clearly made with love. “Behold!” Wade declared, placing the plate on your lap with a flourish. “A culinary masterpiece. You won’t find this in any Michelin-star restaurant, because they can’t handle the truth”.

You couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, Wade. You didn’t have to, really”. “Of course I did” he said, sitting back down beside you, much more gently this time. “Somebody’s gotta make sure you remember to do basic human things, like eating and sleeping and not turning into a raisin from dehydration”. You took a bite of the sandwich, feeling instantly better. “It’s good” you said through a mouthful of food. “Of course it is. I’m Deadpool. I don’t make bad sandwiches” he replied, leaning in to nudge you with his elbow. “But seriously, you gotta start taking care of yourself. I mean, I can regenerate my liver if it gives out, but you? You get one shot at this whole ‘being alive’ thing”.

You swallowed and nodded, feeling a little sheepish. “I know, I just… I get so caught up in things, I forget”. Wade looked at you, and even through the mask, you could feel the softness in his gaze. He reached over, pulling you into a side hug. “You know what, babe? That’s what I’m here for. To remind you to do all that boring, vital stuff. You remind me to drink water, I remind you to, you know, live. We balance each other out”.

You rested your head on his shoulder, sandwich still in hand. “Yeah, I guess we do”. “And from now on” Wade said, his voice full of determination, “I’m going to make sure you never forget again. I’ll be your personal reminder system. Forget to eat? I’ll hand-feed you if I have to. Forget to sleep? I’ll tuck you in with my very own beddy-bye song. And forget to shower? Well, I’ll.. okay, I’ll just throw you in the shower with a loofah grenade”.

You laughed, the sound muffled by another bite of your sandwich. “I don’t know if I should be scared or touched by that”. “Touched” Wade said, pulling you closer. “Definitely touched. In the heart, not the weird way. Unless you want it to be the weird way. I’m flexible”. You smiled, warmth filling your chest. “Thanks, Wade”. “Don’t mention it, babe” he said softly. Then he looked down at you, his voice dropping to a playful whisper. “Now, finish that sandwich and then we’re going to bed. Not for the fun stuff, mind you, unless you’re into that, but because you need to sleep. Doctor Deadpool’s orders”. You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t deny the yawn that followed. “Fine, but only because Doctor Deadpool said so”. “That’s the spirit!” Wade cheered, and with a surprisingly gentle tug, he pulled you up off the couch and toward the bedroom, all while mumbling something about setting hydration alarms and taping snack bars to the walls as reminders.

And as you curled up in bed that night, Wade snuggled up next to you, you couldn’t help but feel grateful. Because even when you forgot to take care of yourself, Wade was always there to remind you, whether it was about drinking water, getting enough sleep, or just eating a simple sandwich.

And really, that was all you needed.

-

Thank you for reading!!

[fakeboycorrection]

Fakeboy story time! This one's a long one, so I'm sure some of you dumber, hornier fakeboys will have to read it in multiple sittings.

Kai had always known that they were nonbinary, ever since they were young. People had always tried putting them in dresses, or getting them into makeup, but it had never felt right. Though, to be fair, typical masculine things had never felt right either. They just didn't feel like they were drawn towards either of those. And though they didn't have a word for it for the longest time, when they first heard about enby people, they knew that's where they belonged.

Going off to college was great for them. Kai had become part of a community of plenty of other trans people, learning about the culture and understanding that gender wasn't some binary thing based on genitals, but something on a spectrum that couldn't be encapsulated with just the simple terms that they had learned growing up. As Kai educated themselves, they grew more and more into a leadership role. Eventually, they even became the president of a group on campus dedicated to spreading the trans rights movement, focused on educating people and allowing themselves to liberate themselves from the restrictions of their genders, just like Kai had been, years ago. They spoke at events, handed out pamphlets, and spent long nights staying up with their trans friends, being a shoulder to cry on as they would start their journey into transitioning.

Of course, Kai also got up to some fun activities on their own, outside of these movements. As a young, sexually liberated enby, they were always looking for some ways to have fun with others and in private. Though they considered themselves a lesbian, and had plenty nice encounters with girls on campus, they had a lot more fun spending some late nights in their dorm room, masturbating to porn online. Some of it was more tame, some of it was more kinky, but it was always uplifting to women and enbies, showing the ways that their bodies could be used to empower themselves, sharing pleasure with the world. Kai loved it, getting deeper and deeper down these rabbit holes, until one day discovering a forum of people that used remotely controlled toys to connect with others around the world, allowing them to control vibrators and choose when to give pleasure out. Kai rushed off to the store, getting one, and logging back into the forum for some fun. They had a lot of fun with girls around the world, even some from different countries, until one day having an interesting encounter with an anonymous account from the site.

"Hey, you interested in some fun?" Was the message they'd received. Kai looked at the account it came from, but it was mostly blank, just saying that it was from a man who was about their age.

"Hi, sorry, I'm usually only into girls and enbies. Hope you have fun with someone else!" They replied, trying to let him down easy. They were about to set their phone down when they got another message.

"Haha, really? I mean, it all happens through a vibrator, and my account doesn't even have a face on it. You could pretend I'm anyone." Kai considered it for a moment. They were really horny after all, and they hadn't gotten any other requests. They decided to indulge, sticking their vibrator into their pants until it was positioned snuggly on their clit.

"Fine, let's get this going, oh mystery man." They smirked slightly, knowing that it would be fun regardless.

"See, there's a good toy." He replied. Kai felt the vibrator turn on, feeling like it was at max strength, causing an involuntary gasp to come out of their mouth. After taking a moment to collect themselves, they replied.

"Wow, going full force off the bat? Don't you know how to properly tease an enby?"

"Oh I know how to. Just giving you a taste of it, so you'll know what you're missing when I do this." And suddenly, the vibrations disappeared completely.

"Hey hey hey! I didn't mean take it away completely!" Kai sent quickly, wanting the pleasure back immediately.

"Then I guess you shouldn't have been so bratty. Apologize, and you can have it back." Kai rolled his eyes and sent a message back.

"Ugh, fine. I'm sorry." Kai waited for a second, but nothing happened. They checked their phone.

"Now, is that any way to apologize to the guy controlling your cunt? Have some manners." They read. Kai wanted to roll their eyes again, but actually felt something stirring inside them at reading that. They decided to take it seriously.

"Okay, I'm really sorry sir. It won't happen again." They replied. Immediately, the vibrator flipped back on, but only to about half strength. It wasn't perfect, but Kai wasn't going to risk losing it again by talking back.

"There we go, that's better. You look so cute in your profile pic. You shouldn't put such a bratty scowl on it." Kai shuddered with a bit more pleasure. They'd forgotten they'd posted a pic of themselves on there. Whoever this man was, he could see exactly what the toy he was playing with looked like.

"Oh come on, you get to see me, but I don't get to see you?" Kai responded, relishing the small amount of pleasure in their pussy. After a few moments a new message popped up, not text, but a picture of the mystery man's cock.

"You like what you see? I might not post my face on here, but I'd argue this is better." Kai stared at the pic for a moment in shock. It was a sizable cock, bigger than any of the toys they'd used in the past. Right after he sent the pic, the man turned the vibrator up, sending more pleasure into Kai's hole.

"Hey! That's not fair, asking if I like something, then turning the vibe up. Now I basically have to say yes..." Kai moaned slightly again. Though they'd only ever been fucked with straps before, they had to admit, the cock did look enticing.

"The only part of that message I choose to acknowledge is the "Yes". But I think we both already knew that was the answer, didn't we? :)" Kai chuckled to themselves. This guy was smug, but he wasn't wrong. This was already the most turned on they'd been while using this site, and the night had barely started.

"Yeah, you're right, okay... sir? Please, give me some more pleasure. I'll even say more nice things for you, like "sir". Kai responded, partially doing it to get more pleasure, but partially because it felt so good to be submissive. They hadn't talked to someone with this level of dominance in quite a while.

"Mmm, I do like hearing the title, but I think there's some other things you can say to earn more vibrations. Some more fun things... Some things you might not want to say..." Kai looked at their phone with a hint of apprehension, but upon feeling the vibrations drop once more, they responded.

"Like what, sir?" They replied quickly, hoping to get the vibrator turned back up as soon as possible.

"Admit that I turn you on more than any girl ever has." He replied.

Kai stared at their phone for a moment. This guy wasn't serious, right? They responded.

"Oh come on. That's not even true, I've been with plenty of girls. You're good, but you're not better than literally all of them." After sending this, the vibrations in Kai's hole disappeared completely. They frantically messaged again.

"Wait wait wait, turn it back up!"

"Not until I hear what I want to hear." He responded. Kai looked down at their leaking, needy hole, then looked back at their keyboard before typing out the next message.

"Alright, fine. You're... better than any girl I've been with... I'll say it, even if I don't believe it." Kai immediately felt the vibrator turn back up to full power, sending another involuntary moan out of their mouth.

"There we go, that wasn't so hard, now was it? And don't worry, by the end of this, that statement will be true. Trust me." Kai was starting to get annoyed at this guy's smug attitude, but had to admit. It felt a little good to say such dirty things. They'd always been attracted to people with vaginas, so saying that a man was better than them felt like something of a taboo. A good taboo. After a minute or so of relishing in the pleasure, Kai felt the vibrator slowly starting to decrease in power. They messaged back once more.

"Wait! Why are you turning it down??"

"You earned a minute for saying that. You earn more if you say more. That seems fair, doesn't it." Kai didn't feel like holding back anymore.

"Very fair, yes sir! Just give me more..."

"There we go, much better. I'll tell you what. I'll give you five minutes if you admit that you feel like more of a girl than a man."

Kai looked at this message, confused. They replied quickly, trying to get through this before the vibrator turned off completely.

"What do you mean? I'm an enby. I'm not a man or a girl."

"Yeah, but if you had to pick one, you'd say you're closer to a girl, wouldn't you?" Kai stared at this, thinking about it for a moment. Though they were an enby, they had to admit, they were more feminine than anything. This was just an admittance of that, more than anything.

"Fine, I admit. I'm closer to a girl than a man." Kai responded, feeling another wave of pleasure hit them as the vibrator turned back on. For some reason, this wave felt even more intense than the last.

"See, you're so easy to convince. And you have to say, it feels good to admit that you're a girl, doesn't it?" He replied.

"Hey, I didn't say that. I said I'm closer to a girl than a man. I'm still nonbinary." Kai replied. Though, reading "You're a girl" did send a strange twinge down their body.

"Sure, sure. I'm sure you're not thinking about how you're secretly just a slutty girl. I'm sure it doesn't turn you on to think about admitting that to me, a man, someone you're not even supposed to be turned on by in the first place." Reading that, Kai moaned again. They didn't even fully understand their own feelings at this point, yet it seemed like this man was speaking their thoughts before they could even think them.

"Fuck, how did you know what I was thinking? Also, still not fair! I'm only turned on by that stuff because you're pleasuring my hole when I was thinking about it." Kai responded, denying the allegations as best as possible.

"Maybe, but why were you thinking those things in the first place? Maybe those thoughts are more true than you realize..." Kai read this, getting even more turned on, feeling like they were getting closer and closer to an orgasm. At this point, they didn't care if it was true or not, they just needed to get pushed over that edge.

"Fine, maybe you're right, just please make me cum sir! I'll be a good little enby, or a good girl, just for tonight if you let me!" They responded, knowing that they were closing in on the end of their five minutes.

"Mmm, I don't know about that..." He responded. Kai felt a wave of despair as the pleasure started to fade from their pussy. "But I'll tell you what. If you can think of the most vile, humiliating, pathetic thing that you can admit to me, and promise me that you'll consider actually believing it, I'll let you cum..."

Kai was desperate at this point, so they gave in almost immediately. "I'm a girl. I'm a girl for you and I want to serve your wishes, sir!"

"That's not nearly enough..." He responded. Kai felt the pleasure disappearing even more. They continued, getting more desperate as the orgasm started to seem unreachable.

"Okay, um... I'll never be a man, or an enby! I'll always be a girl! A straight girl a cis girl, who thinks men like you are superior!" Kai held out hope, but the pleasure continued to disappear.

"Not quite enough... I need even more than that, pretty girl..." Kai was on the verge of tears at this point, desperate to cum. So desperate, that she decided to give in, and let out her deepest, darkest, most real thoughts and fears.

"I'll never be an enby because it's all bullshit! None of us are nonbinary, we're all just attention seeking sluts that need men like you to fuck us! Please sir, I'm just a desperate, slutty girl that needs your cock in me to fix me. Please please cum in me so I can cum, knowing that I'm serving my true purpose as girl, please a cis, straight man's cock! That's all that any of us trans whores want!" Right as she sent it, Kai felt a warm wave of pleasure flow into her cunt. Strangely enough, the pleasure hit her before the vibrator even turned on, though it did turn back on in the end, launching her over the edge and giving her the best orgasm of her life. She came, moaning like a girl, barely able to see as the next message came into her phone. She sat there for minutes, trying to get over the massive shocks of pleasure that kept flowing through her body. Eventually, she managed to regain her composure, panting with her tongue out, and picked up her phone. The next message she read made her heart skip a beat, and the needy, aching feeling in her cunt return.

"Good girl, cumming for me. Your moans sounded beautiful, but you're being a bit loud. I'm in the room above you. Come on up and see how a real man treats a girl, little Miss. "Trans Rights Club" President.

She'd never felt fear like she did at that moment. And she had never felt as horny as she did, walking to the stairs, and heading up into his room.

[user211201]

I Was Just Being Ironic, Bro

--- Original author: realhankmccoy ---

That’s how it started, you see. With irony. With a joke. A joke Daniel made about grabbing em by the pussy. Jared said it was kinda offensive, man. Daniel doubled down, saying he was just being ironic, explaining how he’d never be that misogynist, obviously.

Jared did end up laughing, just not wanting to be rude more than anything. I mean, they were friends and obviously Daniel didn’t swing that way.

But one joke turned into another joke, days later. And another. And the ways things were spiraling, soon the two roommates – they lived in a shared house of four – were joking about it all the time. Pretending to be alt-right. Pretending because it was fun, it was funny, it was something to do, a way to make fun of guys who acted like that while simultaneously getting to feel what it was like to be that sort of guy themselves.

They were pretty regular guys. But it became funny to pretend they were jock studs, too. “I dare you to work out, bro,” Daniel goes one night. “I fucking dare you. If you can do 100 pushups consecutively, I’ll even let you grab me by the pussy,” Daniel goes, grabbing his own cock and balls through his shorts for emphasis, which wasn’t hard since he was freeballing that night.

“Oh yeah?” Jared said, “Watch this, bro.” He only made it to fifteen, laughing, but they kept up their dare. Jared was building some pipes on those arms. And months later, after a few shots of whiskey, he hit one hundred pushups for the first time in his life.

“Dude, if I’m gonna grab you by the pussy, I want to see you wearing those Old Glory shorts.” Yeah, the shorts Daniel bought to be ironic. Jared knew those.

And he did grab Daniel’s cock and balls through the shorts, holding onto them tight, laughing, squeezing. “Ouch, dude, that fuckin’ hurts,” Daniel said. It was hilarious. They were so drunk.

But then it was Jared’s turn to dare Daniel, saying he should get as pumped as he was, that is if he could ever catch up. “I’m working on 120 pushups, bro, and look at you. Fuckin’ puny. Little Daniel. I dare you, bro. You can grab me by the pussy if you ever catch up.”

Daniel wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. And soon his guns were just as big, if not bigger. Their jokes were becoming almost infamous in the house.

“Drop and give me 20, Daniel. ‘Merica!” “Come on, tiny hands, let’s see if you can beat me at arm-wrestling.” “Aww, so hot, bro. You and that MAGA cap. I bet you’ll be able to score all the pussy you want if you wear that out to the bars.” “Lock her up, lock her up!” Daniel said to Jared when he was drunk off his ass, trying to tie him to his chair with rope. The guys loved horsing around.

Jared and Daniel both had American flag shorts, now. They had flag tank tops, t-shirts, hats, even MAGA caps. They were getting to be pretty buff guys. Acting like right-wing jockbros had been ironic, but now they looked pretty convincing in the part after working out so much and buying the gear they bought. Vocal inflections, ironic at first, now sounded more and more legit as they got their impersonations down pat. Sometimes they’d go out and hit the bars, ham it up, see who they fooled, which was pretty much everybody.

They were good at this. It was fucking funny and fun as hell.

Drunk one night, Daniel found himself confessing to Jared that he thinks it’s really hot when Jared acts like a MAGA guy. “Yeah bro?” Jared said, “I think it’s hot too. Makes me feel hot. It’s like everything I secretly want to be when I’m like this.”

“Yeah bro?” Daniel said, “I think that’s so fucking hot, man. You look great as one of those guys. I almost feel like I could grab you by the pussy for real, bro.”

“Why don’t you do it then, bro,” Jared said, “When we’re home. I fucking dare you, bro. Get those tiny hands on this big cock of mine. Bet you don’t have the balls.”

But turned out Daniel did have the balls, and when he took Jared’s cock in his mouth behind that locked bedroom door, all Jared could say was, “Fuck, bro. MAGA, bro. That’s so fuckin’ hot, bro,” before he came, five minutes later, flooding Daniel’s mouth with white hot cum.

[joonsmagicshop]

Summer Lovin'

Summary: Every year The Park Family rents a cottage up in the mountains and every year they invite Taehyung, Jimin's best friend. But what happens when Jimin's sister is newly single and just wants some fun?

Paring: Taehyung/Reader

Work Count: 8K

Rating: M/18+ because smut

Tags: Brothers best friend trope, POV switch, Tae and Jimin are cute best friends and I love them okay, Fluffy haired Tae in a baseball cap, he calls her by a nickname, masturbation male and female, accidental walking in on someone naked, dirty thoughts, flirting, smut, dirty talk, fingering, sucking cock, fucking, cliffhanger ending, will there be more? who the heck knows!

Authors Note: Once again blaming Taehyung in a baseball cap for this.

Taehyung adored The Park Family.

He had become like a second son to them after one fateful day in third grade when little Park Jimin whispered a word in his ear he didn’t know, so he did what he thought was right and flagged the teacher down to ask her what it meant.

He missed the way Jimin’s eyes widened and he kept mouthing the word no over and over

When the word left little Taehyung’s mouth the teacher gasped and flung her hand over her mouth and asked him where he learned it from.

Taehyung wasn’t a tattle so he said nothing but the teacher saw how his eyes quickly moved over to Jimin which landed them both in detention and staying inside at recess, which to two overactive eight-year-olds was torture.

Jimin apologized right away, saying he wanted to be friends with Taehyung and tried to impress him by knowing a “grown-up word”

And that was how they became best friends.

Taehyung and Jimin became inseparable throughout grade school and into high school. They seemed always to be attached at the hip, where one went the other did too.

Throughout school, other friends came into the picture, their group growing and shifting as they both got older but one thing was certain: Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung were friends for life.

Every year Jimin’s family rented a cottage in the mountains for an entire week in August. The house was an A-frame cabin with giant windows overlooking the front and back of the property.

The cottage was huge but had a rustic cozy feel, with five bedrooms, a huge living room with a fireplace, and a huge backyard with enough space for lawn game tournaments and bonfires.

The dock was Taehyung’s favorite part of the cottage as it expanded outward quite far and he had fond memories of himself and Jimin lathering themselves in sunscreen to sit out there all day and see who could catch the biggest fish.

This year would be no different and Taehyung was grateful to get a week off from his busy job and be able to spend it with The Park family.

His duffle bag sat by the front door of his apartment as he fished his phone from his pocket to double-check the time Jimin said his family would be coming to pick him up.

Taehyung was no longer a boy, he was an adult now, but still felt the need to text his parents and let them know he was once again going to the mountains with The Park Family.

Not that his parents were surprised, he had been going every year since he was twelve and he was now twenty-seven.

Just as he sent the text, another message came through from Jimin saying that they were about to turn onto his street and Taehyung let out an excited giggle and grabbed his duffle bag, throwing it over his shoulder. He looked around the apartment one more time before fixing his backward baseball cap and heading off to his favorite adventure.

As long as Taehyung lived he knew he would never forget the air in the mountains. It was crisp and cool even in the humid August weather and after the long five-hour drive Mr. Park rolled down all the windows and they all stuck their heads out breathing it in.

The sky was a beautiful blue with huge whispy clouds and when Taehyung stared across the shimmering waters of one of the many lakes, he could feel excitement bubble up inside of him which came out in the form of a huge boxy grin directed at Jimin who was sitting next to him.

The van had not even fully stopped in front of the cottage when Jimin unbuckled his belt and Taehyung followed suit. It was tradition on the first day to see who could race to the dock and jump in the water first and Taehyung was determined not to lose for the third year in a row as he threw open his door and ignored the protests from Mrs. Park.

Jimin managed to get to the dock first but Taehyung was hot on his heels and decided to play dirty as he grabbed Jimin’s tee shirt which was two sizes too big and threw him to the ground.

Jimin’s angry noises could hardly be heard over Taehyung’s giggles as he kicked off his shoes and sprinted down the old wooden dock, carefully holding out his arms as it swayed under him.

“You cheater!” Jimin called out as Taehyung ripped off his shirt and hat and threw them somewhere. He made sure to take his phone out of his pocket and place it in a safe spot too. He could hear Jimin behind him, way too close behind for being thrown to the ground and Tae plugged his nose and jumped into the cold lake water hissing as it nipped at his bare skin.

Another splash could be heard as Jimin hurled himself into the water right next to Taehyung and both boys came up gasping for air and giggling as they splashed each other with cold lake water.

Taehyung pushed his hair back from his face and grinned at Jimin who was grinning right back.

They both swam back to the dock and used the tiny ladder to climb back up. The towels were still packed away so they both sprawled out on the wooden chairs that were placed at the end of the dock and let the sun dry their skin.

Taehyung grabbed his hat and pushed his long dark hair back before placing the hat on his head to block out some of the harsh sun.

“You’re such a cheater Tae,” Jimin whined as he fished around for his sunglasses which got tangled in the mess of clothing left behind.

Taehyung snickered.

“You have played dirty that last couple of years Jimin-ah.” He reminded as Jimin gave a small huff and shoved his sunglasses on his face, tilting his blonde head back to soak up the sun.

Both boys lapsed into silence, taking in the sounds of the lake, the small boats that padded around, and the birds overhead.

Eventually, Taehyung spoke.

“Bug not coming up this year?” He asked Jimin as he smoothed his hands down his front and stretched his arms over his head.

“You know she hates it when you call her that.” Jimin scolded which caused Tae to smirk.

“You both know why I call her that.”

“Yeah. I still can’t believe we counted fifteen bug bites. All in one night too.” Jimin mused as Tae snickered.

“And her making your mom run to the store to get her ointment because she was scared she was going to claw her legs off with all the scratching.”

Jimin laughed at the memory and adjusted his sunglasses which were slowly slipping down his nose.

“Bug is going to come up tomorrow. She tried everything she could to get today off work but management wouldn’t let her and none of her coworkers would switch her. She’s doing half the drive tonight and the rest tomorrow.” Jimin explains as a boat zooms by with someone being pulled behind on an intertube yelling and having the time of their lives.

“She’s coming up alone? What about….Jung…whatever his name was?” Taehyung asked turning his head away from the boaters to stare at Jimin who scowled.

“Jungsoo? They broke up three months ago. Something about them fighting about stupid shit a lot.” He said shrugging.

Taehyung felt his heart ache for Jimin’s younger sister.

“Aww, I’m sorry to hear that. He seemed promising.”

Jimin stretched his arms above his head and let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, she said they were fighting a lot and just couldn’t seem to get along. I never asked what they fought about. But she seems okay. When I visit my parents she seems like my normal annoying little sister. I don’t think the breakup was too bad.” Jimin shrugs as he stands up and Tae follows suit.

“We should probably go in and help the parents.”

Both boys gather their things and head back to the house. Jimin is talking about some TV show he wants Taehyung to get into but Taehyung finds his mind is elsewhere.

The next morning Jimin shakes his friend out of a dead sleep and suggests they go on an early morning boat ride.

Even for August, the mornings are crisp so Taehyung wears shorts and a short-sleeved shirt, throws on a sweater just in case, and grabs his signature red baseball cap smoothing it over his bedhead.

Jimin writes his parents a note so they don’t worry and both boys silently slip out of the cottage and head back down to the dock.

Jimin doesn’t want to fish this morning and Taehyung is more than happy just to cruise around the lake and see if anything has changed since last summer.

The sun is just starting to rise as Jimin pulls the small silver boat from the dock and steers it expertly across the lake as he had done many summers before.

A soft wind ripples the water below as Taehyung pulls his sweater over his hands and takes out his phone to snap some shots of the sun rising over the mountains.

A light fog covers the lake as they both cruise around and everything is silent and peaceful.

The sun is high by the time they make it back and when they finally get the boat tied to the dock Mrs Park is calling them in for breakfast.

Both boys make it to the kitchen in time to see plates piled high with croissants, fruit, and toast with multiple jams.

What really shocks Taehyung is the fact that Jimin’s sister is standing in the kitchen buttering some bread.

Jimin shrieks and wraps his sister in a hug while Tae stands there as if he is a statue, unmoving, unblinking as he takes in Y/N.

Jimin’s sister is not how he remembers and he feels himself swallow nervously when your soft eyes land on his.

You seemed to have gotten taller, and grown your hair out and Taehyung suddenly felt disgusted with the thoughts he was thinking so he resorted to the only thing he knew how to do,

Light teasing.

“Hey, Bug!” He called as you came over and rolled your eyes at him, playfully smacking his arm and giving him a side hug.

“You ever going to let that one go? I was eleven.” You say scrunching your nose as Taehyung tries his best to seem nonchalant and not like he was ogling you.

You were Jimin’s sister after all.

“Nah I don’t think I’ll ever let it go Bug,” Taehyung responds smoothly as you once again roll your eyes and pull away from him to butter more toast as Jimin talks excitedly filling his sister in on the morning boat ride.

Taehyung keeps to himself and slowly fills his plate with food giggling along with Jimin’s story and trying to not stare at you too much.

There was just something about you, maybe it was the way the morning sun was hitting your bare arms or the way you tilted your head back and laughed when Jimin became more animated with his story but it was sending mixed signals to Taehyung’s head

You smiled along to Jimin’s story and unknown to you, your smile gave Taehyung that funny giddy feeling in his stomach that only came along with having a crush on someone.

But he didn’t have a crush on you

That would be ridiculous you were practically his sister after all.

And just because you came here looking good didn’t mean he had to indulge in these feelings.

There were no feelings anyway.

This whole thing was stupid

Jimin nudged his shoulder which jolted him from his thoughts and asked if Tae was up to some fishing on the dock today.

Taehyung found himself nodding and when his eyes met yours across the table his stomach did a silly little flutter again.

Well, shit.

The day was perfectly spent on the dock with Jimin as they chatted and soaked up the warm sun, catching hardly any fish but still having a good time.

Jimin brought a mini speaker and was in charge of music as the day went on, telling Taehyung he could play whatever he wanted to as long as it wasn’t jazz.

Jimin argued that Jazz wasn’t fishing music so they stuck to a mix of oldies and pop music singing along when they knew the words.

The sun was creeping lower in the sky when Mrs. Park called them to get cleaned up because dinner would be ready in an hour.

You had decided to spend your day up at the cottage on the hammock as you read your book and occasionally eyed Taehyung who was looking extra fine this year.

The way he called you by your silly nickname sent a shiver down your spine and you tried your best not to ogle him over the breakfast table.

He was your brother’s best friend after all

Just because Jungsoo spent too much of his time drinking and hanging out with other girls who were not you didn’t mean you had to jump at the first guy you thought was handsome, even though this crush on Taehyung dated way back when you were fifteen.

You tried to stare at your book, not absorbing a single thing as Jimin and Taehyung made their way over. You could feel them getting closer and you tried your best to stay cool, calm, and collected as you pretended to read.

Jimin playfully flicked your arm which caused you to close your book and hit his arm with it making Taehyung laugh.

A hearty laugh that went straight to your stomach and made butterflies erupt as both boys headed into the cottage to get cleaned up. Jimin claimed the upstairs shower and Taehyung settled for the downstairs one.

Your book was suddenly the least interesting thing as you stared at the pages but your mind was elsewhere.

To a certain dark-haired boy who would be taking a shower in the downstairs bathroom, where the lock can be faulty if you don’t close the door hard enough. What would he say if you slipped in with him? Would his eyebrows raise in shock? Or would he mutter a cheeky “finally” and pull you in for a searing kiss?

You had a sneaking suspicion that Taehyung would be a great kisser.

You swallowed hard imagining Taehyung under the spray and how good he would look soaking wet and so very naked.

Your core throbbed at the thought and you nearly screamed when your mom came up behind you and asked if you could help with dinner.

You followed her into the house placing your book on the kitchen counter as you got to work, grateful for a distraction. Soft music was playing from Jimin’s Bluetooth speaker as you cut up vegetables and set the table. You could faintly hear the sounds of Jimin singing over the sound of the running water.

Everything was calm and peaceful.

That was until your mom asked you to go downstairs to grab the potatoes.

You slowly made your way down the narrow stairs and tried your best to ignore the door that Taehyung was behind and instead focus on the task at hand.

“Potatoes, potatoes… grab them and leave, Don’t think about it. Grab and leave.” You muttered to yourself opening up the storage bins your mom brought hoping you could find them quickly.

“Hey uh, Jimin?” Came a deep voice that made the hair on your arms stand and you nearly dropped the bag on your foot as the door creaked open and you were met with a very wet, shirtless Taehyung.

“Oh shit sorry, Bug.” He said cheeks flushing which you were sure your cheeks matched as you held the bag against your chest as if it would protect you from his hotness.

Steam was billowing out from behind him and he looked divine standing there soaking wet as droplets fell from his hair and down his face. Your eyes narrowed in on a fat droplet that was currently making its way down his chest agonizingly slow.

“Want me to grab him for you?” You asked, grateful your voice didn’t crack as you stared at Tae who was half-hidden behind the door and grinning sheepishly at you.

“Uh, I mean. I was wondering if you could go to the laundry room and grab me a towel. Usually, there is one in here but I think your mom forgot.” He says shooting you a small shy smile and your eyes widen when you realize he is naked, fully naked behind the door.

Heat blooms across your face and you nod slowly and put the bag back where you found it in favor of going to the laundry room and grabbing a towel.

You take several deep breaths as your hand connects with the fluffy white towel and you fan your face to make the blush hopefully go down.

You can’t stop thinking about the way his dark locks hung on his forehead and beads of water ran down his beautiful face. His chest was sculpted and he looked like a model straight out of a magazine, and all he did was shower!

You grabbed the towel and hurried back to him desperate to get back upstairs and out of this situation and when you hand it to him you can’t help but stare when he uses one hand to push his hair back from his face.

This man was going to be the death of you.

“Thanks, Bug.” He said with a cheeky wink as you went to grab the potatoes again.

“You know that’s not my name.” You deadpanned shooting him a glare that had him laughing.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and opened the door fully which had you standing there frozen as you completely took him in.

You tried to keep your gaze on his face but found yourself drawn to his toned stomach and how the towel sat so tantalizingly low on his hips.

Right when you were about to open your mouth to say something Taehyung interjected.

“Nah I like calling you Bug. You look so cute when you're all flustered over it.” He says smoothly, leaning against the door frame with a cocky grin plastered on his face.

You don’t know what to do or say

Taehyung was so obviously flirting with you and you were messing it up big time.

Luckily for you, Taehyung interjected again making your stomach flip.

“Well, thanks for the towel Bug.” He teases with a wink before closing the door and leaving you standing in the basement breathlessly holding a bag of potatoes.

Dinner was peaceful as your parents decided to eat outside on the large deck that overlooked the grass and the water.

The sun was starting to slowly set and the air was getting cooler again which meant you were wrapped up in shorts and a sweater as you ate.

You were hyper-aware of Taehyung sitting next to you and tried your best to not stare at him too much as you as you ate.

Because you helped cook it meant the boys had to help clean so you decided to take a quick shower to clean off the day.

Showers were usually pointless as almost every night your parents had a bonfire but you still cleaned your hair and body, humming a song under your breath as you worked.

You turned the shower off and stepped out feeling refreshed as you took your time applying skincare and combing through your soaked hair.

You decided to throw it up in a clip as you didn’t want to go through all the work of styling it and then you sat on the bed scrolling through your phone aimlessly as you could hear the boys talking and joking in the kitchen.

Your thoughts drifted back to Taehyung and you couldn’t help but let out a dreamy sigh as you remembered how he looked out of the shower. How his face was so handsome and how he shot you a cute boxy grin when you handed him a towel.

You could feel your face heat up once more and a persistent throbbing between your legs told you liked the thought of a wet, naked Taehyung.

You checked the little black alarm clock that sat on the nightstand and grinned.

The bonfire didn’t usually start until the sun went down so you had some time to take care of things.

You slipped under the covers and carefully shucked off your pants. You knew you had time, but not enough of it to truly indulge so you gathered some wetness and played with your clit.

Your thoughts went back to wet, naked Taehyung and how he would look in the shower. With water droplets cascading down his chest and back, how his biceps would flex as he washed his hair and you could only imagine how his cock would look under the spray.

Your orgasm crept up on you quicker than you thought and before you knew it your muscles were straining and you were whining into your hand as you rode out your high, whimpering out Tae’s name as if he was the one to bring you sweet relief and not your own imagination.

You slumped down on the bed exhausted and pulled the covers over your naked lower half. You were too tired to get dressed just yet and softly closed your eyes.

The bonfire was raging as Taehyung looked out at the quiet lake and smiled to himself when he caught a glimpse of fireflies dancing on the surface of the water.

Mr and Mrs Park brought everything down for smores and Jimin was poking the fire with a stick as his hair fell in front of his eyes.

“Where’s Y/N?” Mrs. Park asked shooting a look back at the cottage as the smoke from the fire rose in the air.

“Jimin-ah stop poking at it it is fine.” Mr. Park scolded lightly.

Taehyung also looked up at the cottage and frowned, he had not seen you since after dinner and a part of him wondered if he made you uncomfortable when he asked you for a towel and flirted with you.

His initial plan wasn’t to flirt at all. However, something about the way your cheeks tinged pink when he winked at you sent a thrill down his spine and he found once he started flirting with you he had a hard time stopping

“I’ll go up and see. I want to grab some water anyway.” Taehyung announced as he stood up and brushed his hands on his thighs.

He followed the illuminated path to the deck and opened the sliding door.

The cottage was quiet and he opened the fridge and grabbed a couple of water bottles placing them on the counter for later, before making his way to your room.

Your room was at the very end of the hall and honestly, Taehyung was often jealous of it. You had a big bay window that overlooked the forest and a small sliver of the lake which would be the perfect spot to read or write, both of which he enjoyed.

He knocked on the door and waited, shifting foot to foot as he pushed his long hair back from his face.

He really should have gotten a haircut before he came here.

He frowned when you didn’t answer and knocked again, this time a little louder in case you didn’t hear him.

When you still didn’t respond he called your name a couple of times and eventually gave up and pushed the door open.

And what a sight you were.

Taehyung sucked in a harsh breath when his eyes met your sleeping form. It looked like you passed out right after your shower.

You sleeping wasn’t what shocked him.

It was how you were sleeping.

You were wearing a big baggy tee shirt that he was convinced used to belong to Jimin as it looked familiar. Your hair was damp and splayed out on the pillow as your cheek was cutely pushed into it.

You were half on your back half on your side as one leg was sticking straight out and the other was bent at an angle to show off the exquisite curve of your ass and the back of your thighs.

Which were on full display because you weren’t wearing any bottoms.

At all.

Nothing.

Taehyung felt the blood in his body rush south so quickly it made him dizzy and he held onto the door frame for support as his eyes roved your body.

You must have kicked off the sheets in your sleep as they were piled at the end of the bed and even from here Taehyung could see your pussy lips which caused him to let out a low whine and his cock to twitch in his shorts.

Taehyung stood frozen unsure of what to do as you slept peacefully unaware of the turmoil he was in.

He should just shut the door and leave.

Walk away.

Pretend he didn’t see anything

But what if Mr or Mrs Park came in?

Or worse Jimin.

You should at least be covered up.

It would be the right thing to do.

Taehyung sucked in a deep breath and entered the room. He walked up to you and nearly cried out when he got an eyeful of your bare pussy.

Your lips were wet and swollen and it looked like you had recently pleasured yourself as he could still see your arousal leaking out. He could see the little freckles that were on the back of your legs and felt every nerve in his body on fire when he realized how badly he wanted to kiss every single one.

Fucking shit.

You let out a small mumble in your sleep and shifted on the bed, Taehyung stood frozen heart racing in his chest.

What if you woke up and thought he was a pervert?

Taehyung grits his teeth as his cock twitched again in his pants, staining his boxers in wetness as he brought a hand down to his palm at it, just to ease the ache.

You looked so good like this, all sprawled out in bed, pussy exposed to him. He wanted nothing more than to dip a finger in and taste your wetness on his tongue. He had no doubt you would taste divine.

You muttered again in your sleep and shifted on the bed. This time laying on your back and opening your legs wide. Taehyung shoved his knuckles in his mouth to stop himself from moaning as he peeked down and saw your bare pussy on display.

His heart was pounding and his cock was twitching painfully in his pants. You must have pleasured yourself right after dinner. He wondered what got you so worked up and for a brief moment wondered if it had to do with bringing him a towel.

Taehyung snickered when he thought of you getting turned on at the mere thought of him naked behind a door and thought it was the sexiest thing in the world that you made yourself cum because of him.

He carefully grabbed the blankets and threw them over you before he took things too far as you smiled and hummed in your sleep.

Tae could feel the persistent throbbing of his cock as he tucked you in and tried his best to stay as gentlemanly as possible.

Once he left the room he made his way to the downstairs bathroom and closed the door. Within moments he had his cock out and was jerking himself off harshly as his mind replayed the image of you naked and wet in your bed, the way your pussy lips were all puffy and sodden with your arousal. For a brief moment, he once again wondered if you had cum at the thought of him and that alone set him off as he threw his head back and a broken moan left his lips, the veins on his neck bulged as hot ropes of cum coated his fist as Taehyung’s hips jerked as he rode out his high.

Once Taehyung was all cleaned he went back upstairs and knocked on your door loudly. He could hear you wake in your room and he announced that the bonfire was on if you wanted to come out. He didn’t wait for you to answer, instead, he grabbed the bottles of water and headed out with a knowing smirk on his face.

The next morning Taehyung was awoken early once again.

He fully expected it to be Jimin wanting to go on another early morning adventure but he was shocked to see it was you leaning over his bed and biting at your lip shyly.

Even though Taehyung had jerked off last night it seemed his body was still prone to morning erections and he scrunched up the blankets to cover his lap as you stood next to the bed in shorts and an oversized sweater.

The memory of yesterday played through his mind as you stood there and it took him a moment to realize you were speaking.

“Sorry Bug I’m not awake yet. Repeat that?” He said sitting up but keeping the blankets firm on his lap as his erection throbbed.

“I wanted to go on a boat ride and wanted to know if you would come with me. I tried to wake Jimin but he’s dead to the world right now.” You said in a small voice running a hand through your hair and looking nervous.

Taehyung felt his heart hammer in his chest as he nodded.

“Uh yeah sure. Just write a note to the parents and let them know I’m coming with you. Let me get changed and I’ll meet you in the kitchen?” He said in his deep morning voice as you shot him a dazzling smile and left his room.

Taehyung willed his morning hard-on to go down as he stood up and stretched his arms over his head. He stared out the window to see the first rays of the sun and quickly got changed into some mesh shorts and a shirt, opting once again to bring a sweater as he threw his hat over his head and exited the room.

You were scribbling a note on the small pad kept in the kitchen and Taehyung sucked in a breath when he saw the shorts you were wearing that hardly covered your ass and the baggy sweater that made it look like you were wearing nothing at all underneath.

Just like yesterday.

Taehyung forced himself to think about anything else but that as you smiled up at him and you both made your way across the dew-covered grass and to the dock.

The sun was casting a warm glow over everything and Tae quickly shucked off his sweater and left it on one of the chairs as you got to work getting the boat unhooked from the dock.

The only sounds on the lake were the cicadas and the birds overhead as Tae sat in the front and let you steer the boat as you easily navigated the small channels of the lake expertly.

“Dunno why they won’t let you take the boat on your own. You're a natural Y/N.” He musses as he smiles back at you.

“What it’s Y/N now? And not Bug?” You tease as Taehyung feels his face flush and his blinks slowly at you.

Were you…flirting with him?

Yesterday you were all flustered at his flirting and now you were beating him at his own game.

The alarm bells were going off in his head. Last night was hot as hell and he would remember it forever but the morning had also brought a painful realization. This was Jimin’s sister. This was someone he grew up with… a family he could almost call his own. He didn’t want to ruin things or make them awkward by thinking something was there if it wasn’t.

But the way you looked at him when he innocently asked for a towel. The way he walked in with you half-naked sprawled out on your bed. That had to mean something…right?

A new-found confidence surged in Taehyung as he decided to test out his theory.

“Well, I think you're getting a little old for Bug now. You're a grown woman after all” Tae mutters as a fish jumps a couple of miles out and you both startle.

“Glad you finally noticed I’m grown up. Took you long enough” You tease back as you navigate the boat further away from the cottage until it is a pinprick in the distance.

Taehyung feels hot all over and is grateful he ditched his sweater.

“Of course I noticed. You aren’t our little bug anymore.” He responds dipping his hand in the cool lake water as you turn the boat.

“Our little bug or your little bug? You were the only one to call me that Taetae.” You muse as his eyes widen and he licks his lips.

This is flirting

This is definitely flirting.

The alarm bells are still blaring in his head because this is Jimin’s sister after all but Tae can’t help himself as he scoops up some water and flings it backward successfully hitting you and making you shriek which echoes across the lake.

Taehyung throws his head back and laughs until you scoop up some water and fling it at him soaking his bare arms and making him shiver.

“Bug!” he whines as you throw your head back and laugh and navigate the boat to a small inlet parking it safely on the shore and getting out before a full-on water fight can break out.

“Thought I was too old for Bug? No takebacks now!” You call out hopping out of the boat.

Taehyung scrambles after you and you giggle as you throw yourself on the ground and sit back on your hands tilting your face up to the bright blue sky.

He flops down on the dewy grass and adjusts his cap as you smile at him and pull the sweater over your legs to cover them.

“I’m gonna keep calling you bug if you play dirty like that. Flinging water at me. Aren’t you supposed to respect your elders?” He teases tilting his head playfully as you grin.

“That’s not playing dirty Tae. If I wanted to play dirty I’d do this.”

Before he can think you are on top of him tackling him to the ground and pinning his hands over his head. You push your entire weight into his body to keep him down and both of your giggles can be heard echoing over the quiet of the lake.

Your hands are so small and dainty as you pin him down and when you grin down at him in satisfaction Tae can’t help but feel his heart thrumming rapidly in his chest.

“That’s all you got?” He goats as he easily flips you over so this time your back is pushed into the grass and he takes your arms and expertly holds them over your head. His hands are so large he can hold both your wrists with one hand as the other holds onto your shoulder to keep you pinned.

“Now you’re playing dirty!” You whine as Taehyung shoots you a grin and his eyes wander over your face.

From the mischievous gleam in your eyes to your hair which is splayed out on the grass, to the little freckle right under your lip.

His eyes widen when you lick your lips and he comes to the sudden realization that you are under him.

He is holding you hostage with one hand and you are under him

And his cock is achingly hard and pressing into your side.

Holy fuck.

By the look on your face, he can tell you feel his hard cock pressing into your hip and you both stay frozen in time staring at each other in shock.

Taehyung opens his mouth to apologize though he isn’t sure what he is even supposed to say in this situation, this was what he wanted after all, but you stop him by pushing your hips up to make his hard cock press into you harder.

Taehyung lets out a shuddering breath and his eyes flutter closed as you smirk and try to shift under him to get his cock to press into your core.

Taehyung doesn’t know what to do. Or say. He feels like his brain is short-circling and his lips are dry as he licks them and continues to stare at you.

Everything seems to move in slow motion as you both stare into each other’s eyes. You feel the hard ridge of his cock pressing into your stomach and when you grind against it Tae lets out a low groan that goes straight to your core making you throb.

“Taetae.” You breathe out breaking the silence as he finally blinks and slowly pulls away as if the trance you had him in is suddenly broken.

He pulls away from you forcefully and sits beside you bringing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in his hands. This is more than innocent flirting and even though every part of his body is screaming at him to get his hands on you the rational part of his brain takes over and reminds him you are Jimin’s sister. This was more than innocent flirting. And this could go really bad really quick.

You slowly sit up and feel flushed as you look over at Tae who is taking off his hat and messing with his hair again.

“I-we gotta. I should. Fuck I should apologize I’m so sorry about that. Ohmygod.” Tae stammers as he finally looks at you.

“Taehyung you have nothing to be sorry about.” You say softly as the wind makes the boat knock against the shore and the sun peaks higher over the mountains.

“I didn’t mean to-I mean you were under me- and I- I swear it was an accident.” He stammers as a blush coats his cheeks making him look so sweet and cute.

The poor boy was so flustered from getting hard it made you smile.

“Tae you had me under you and you got hard. It’s biology. It’s normal. I’m not mad I’m actually flattered.” You admit raking a hand through your hair

“F-Flattered?” He asks still looking agonized over the whole thing so you scoot closer to him and grin.

“Yes flattered that my brother’s sexy best friend somehow got even hotter this year and gets turned on when I’m pinned under him��

Taehyung’s jaw drops and you can’t help but let out a giggle at his reaction.

“If it makes you feel better I think it was hot as fuck to have you on top of me.” You admit shyly as Taehying stares at you.

“I-Uh I’m sorry I think my brain is malfunctioning you think I’m hot?” He asks biting at his lips.

“Of course Taehyung you have always been hot.” You say as if it was a common fact.

“Well fuck.”

“And correct me if I’m wrong you think I’m hot too.” You tease wiggling your eyebrows at him as you gesture down to his lap.

Taehyung swallows thickly.

“You're also Jimin’s sister.” He says firmly.

“I don’t see him around do you?”

Taehyung bites his lip and looks conflicted so you decide to take charge.

“Taetae. I’ve always found you attractive. I almost jumped you when you asked me to hand you a towel. I was so flustered and turned on at the thought of you being naked. Dear god the things you do to me.” You say boldly as you slide your body closer to his and run a fingernail up his bare arm.

“I-You can’t say stuff like that. I’m not gonna be able to control myself.” He groans which makes your pussy throb and your heart race.

“Who says you have to control yourself? Isn’t giving in so much more fun?”

Taehyung swallows hard and feels his cock harden once more, straining against his shorts and aching painfully.

“Want to know a secret? I didn’t control myself last night. I came on my fingers at the thought of you wet and naked in the shower.” You say voice dropping low as goosebumps coat his arms and he shivers.

“I-I know. I came in and you were sprawled on the bed…n..naked and I saw. I’m so sorry I covered you up right away.” He says throat bobbing nervously.

“Mhmm did you like what you saw Taetae? My pretty pussy on display for you. Soaking wet for you”

Taehyung can’t handle it anymore. His cock is hard, his balls ache, and the thought of you touching yourself because of him makes the cord snap and he throws all his morals out the window as he grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in for a harsh kiss.

You moan against his lips and tangle your hands at the nape of his neck when he kisses you. His lips mold to yours perfectly and he tastes sweet, so Taehyung, you can’t help but push harder into him desperate for more.

You rip the hat off his head and tangle your fingers in his hair and he grunts in your mouth when you pull on them slightly as you shift your body so you are now sitting on his lap.

You can feel the hot ridge of his cock pressing against you and when you grind down on it Taehyung pulls his lips away from yours and moans against your throat.

“I-I want you so bad.” He growls as he presses hot wet kisses to your neck. You cry out his name and tilt your head back to give him more access and you continue to grind slowly against his clothed bulge.

“Take me Tae. I’m all yours.” You whimper as he pulls away and cups your cheeks with his long fingers.

“What about Jimin? He’s my best friend. I mean. I think we should talk this out first.” He says as he gazes at you softly.

“Tae I’m going to be honest I want you to fuck me. Right now I don’t want a relationship I just want a good fuck. Something my ex could never give me. Show me how good it can be?” You plead batting your eyelashes.

“He didn’t fuck you?” He asks softly as one hand leaves your face to trace lines up and down your thighs.

“He did…doesn’t mean it was good though.” You admit sadly.

“That fucker.” Tae swears and you smirk as you lean forward to press kisses to his neck.

“This doesn’t have to be a big thing. We both get to have mindblowing sex and that can be it. As for Jimin. He doesn’t need to know Taetae. It can be our secret.”

Taehyung nods wordlessly and grabs your jaw to tilt your head back. He begins to pepper kisses along your jawline and you moan and grind down on his cock, giving him the delicious friction he craves.

“God you feel so good on top of me.” He whines out.

“Thought you liked me under you?” You tease.

Taehyung cocks an eyebrow and within seconds you are under him once more and his hands are grabbing at your sweater trying to pull it off your head.

You help him get it off and he lets out a low whine when he sees you are only in a crop top with no bra and the cool morning air has your nipples poking through the shirt.

“You did this on purpose didn’t you?” He asks as you bite your lip and squeeze your legs to help with some of the ache.

Taehyung gets his large hands under your shirt and begins to palm at your nipples making electricity run down your body and your pussy pathetically throb. His fingers are so long, so perfect against your skin it makes you gasp as he rubs your nipples expertly.

You are sure you have soaked your underwear at this point and when Taehyung lifts your shirt higher and leans his face down so he can suck at your nipple you know you are a goner.

Your hands tangle in his hair as he sucks and licks at your nipples humming against your skin making you arch into his warm wet mouth.

He presses hot open-mouthed kisses down your body and when he gets to your shorts you lift your hips as he pulls them down in one swoop taking your underwear with them.

“Fuck you are a vision all spread out for me.” He says shamelessly squeezing his cock over his clothes as you reach to take off his shirt to see him too.

You are met with miles of tanned toned skin and your mouth waters when he shoots you a cocky grin.

“Can I stretch you out so you can take my cock? Is that okay baby?” He asks before slotting two fingers inside your body causing a broken moan to leave your lips and your body to arch up into his touch.

Taehyung’s fingers are long and dainty. When they pump in and out of you and stretch out your walls you find yourself moaning out his name and he grins devilishly as he brings you closer to your high.

“Fuck you are squeezing my fingers, baby. Gonna be so tight on my cock.” He growls as another finger comes up to slowly play with your clit and you throw back your head and cry out his name.

Just as the sun clears the mountains you cum around Taehyung’s skilled fingers.

He coaxes you through it with ease and you whine and thrash under him as your whole body is taken by your orgasm.

You are slumped in the grass breathing heavily when he finally pulls his fingers out and when he pops them in his mouth you swear your pussy throbs again as if you didn’t just cum.

He lets you take your time coming down and when you finally regain your breath you sit up and flip him over with ease straddling his lap and clawing at his shorts to get them off.

Taehyung assists you in getting them off and when his heavy cock slaps against his stomach you nearly moan at the sight.

His cock is rock hard and flushed the prettiest red color. The head is shiny with arousal and the vein that runs on the underside is thick and slightly throbbing.

You waste no time circling his cock with your hand and Taehyung moans when you start to jerk him off expertly running your hand up and down his velvety shaft.

His cock is impossibly hard in your hand and when the head leaks more precum you can’t help but lower down to lick it from Taehyung’s cock making him claw at the ground under him and whine out your name.

“Fuck I- I touched myself to the thought of you last night. Came so hard” He admits as you snicker and begin to jerk his shaft in longer strokes causing him to arch into your touch.

“I-You gotta- You gotta stop I don’t wanna cum like this.” He grunts as you ignore his pleas and instead surprise him by bringing your mouth to his cock and sucking him down hallowing out your cheeks and soaking in all the noises that are leaving his pretty mouth.

“Y/N P-please.” He cries out as you pop off of his cock and grin down at his fucked out expression.

“I-I gotta be inside you.” Taehyung pleads as he sits up and lays you back down on the grass. You open your legs and Taehyung swears under his breath as his long fingers come to jerk off his cock as he positions it at your entrance

“Wait. I don’t have anything. Fuck.” He says lightly smacking his forehead.

You giggle, reach for your discarded sweater, and grab the condom that was hidden in the front pocket. You grin as you hand it to Taehyung.

“So you had this all planned out huh?” He taunts as he expertly rips open the packet and rolls the condom on his hard length, giving it a couple of long slow strokes.

“I said I wanted to be fucked properly I was hoping it would be by you.” You tease back as he presses his tip into your entrance and you hiss when he pushes himself inside.

Even though you came on his fingers his cock still stretches you out and when he finally bottoms out you can feel your walls clamping around him.

He hovers over you and brushes the hair back from your face delicately as he presses small soft kisses to your forehead and cheeks.

“Relax for me love. I can’t fuck you properly if you are so tense” He coos as you take several deep breaths and slowly shift your hips to adjust to his size and girth.

Taehyung looks so handsome on top of you with a soft smile on his face and his curled locks falling in front of his lust-filled eyes.

“Fuck me Tae. Please god fuck me.” You cry out when your body adjusts and Tae smiles wickedly as he pounds into you sending you moaning on the grass.

Taehyung alternates between ramming his cock into you and circling his hips seductively to get his cockhead to hit that spot inside you that makes you see stars.

“Such a slut for me Y/N. Getting yourself off last night. Bringing a condom today. You wanted to be fucked so bad by me I bet you couldn’t stand it could you.” He coos dangerously low in your ear which makes you shiver and cling to his back.

“What were you thinking of when you touched yourself? Tell me, Bug.” He demands as another thrust of his hips makes his cock hit that spot inside you that has you whining out his name and feeling your orgasm build in your stomach.

“Y-You in the shower. Naked.” You cry out as one hand comes down to play with your clit as he continues to drag his cock in and out of you making you cry out his name.

“Mmm you were all big talk a couple of minutes ago and now you’ve gone dumb on my cock. How cute.” He teases as he thrusts harder and his hips stutter a bit causing you to once again cry out his name.

“Tae please mo-more. Fuck me dumb.” You sob out as he does as he’s asked and begins to thrust into you harder. He grabs your hips and pins you to the ground holding you there as his hips fuck wildly into you making your orgasm approach rapidly.

“Fuck baby you are clenching around me. Gonna cum already? Being so naughty fucking your brother’s best friend. Such a slut.” He muses.

Every drag of his cock against your walls brings you closer to the edge and you can’t help but close your eyes and throw your head back as Taehyung continues to give you the best fuck of your life. His mouth is sloppily peppering kissing along your jawline and he is groaning in your ear as he pounds into you harshly.

“F-Full… so full of your cock Tae fuck you are so big” You whine out as he grins.

“Who’s making you feel this good huh? Who’s fucking your pussy this good?” He demands as his fingers dance across your nipples making you cry out.

“You.”

“Try again bug. I want the whole lake to hear who is fucking your pussy this good.”

“Taehyung fuck!” You scream as he chuckles darkly in your ear.

You gasp when he grabs your jaw and forces you to stare at him. He looks dangerous on top of you. Eyes gleaming with lust, lips drawn into a knowing smirk and when his tongue comes out to lick at his lips you swear you are done for as you feel your pussy flutter around him.

“I want you to keep those eyes open bug. Want you to see who is fucking you right. Shit. Your fucking ex wishes he was buried in this pussy right now. You are so wet for me.” He moans.

The noises between you are obscene making you cream his cock even more and when his hand comes down to play with your clit it sets you off.

You can hardly cry out his name before you are arching up and clamping around his cock. Your orgasm rips through you like a hurricane and you close your eyes and bury your face in his shoulder as you ride it out.

“Close,” Tae warns you as you come down from your high, and when you smirk and thrust your hips down to meet his sloppy thrusts he loses it and cums hard inside you.

His grunts are music to your ears and he sounds heavenly as you feel his cock twitch deep inside you.

You rub his back and let him ride out his high and when he slumps against you a giggle leaves your mouth as you feel giddiness bubble up.

Taehyung slowly pulls out, discards the condom in a nearby trash can, and sits back down next to you. The sun fully rises as you both silently get dressed and when you head to the boat Taehyung can’t help but hold your hand.

You make your way back to the cottage as if nothing happened and when you finally get the boat tied to the dock Taehyung stares at you.

“That was incredible Y/N. I’m kinda sad it’s a one-time thing.” He admits shyly scratching the back of his neck.

Before you can answer Jimin is making his way down the dock and you both straighten up as he approaches.

You and Tae were both careful about not leaving marks but you wonder if your brother will be able to see the blush that is currently staining your face.

“A boat ride without me? Really? I wanted to go.” He whines hands on his hips as Taehyung chuckles.

“I tried to wake you, believe me, Chim you were dead to the world. Taetae came with me though.” You said nonchalantly as you grabbed your sweater from the bottom of the boat and sent a cheeky smile Taehyung’s way

He came with you alright.

“You’re lucky I saved you breakfast at all. You tradiors. Also, Y/N what’s with your hair? It has twigs in it?” Jimin asks suspiciously as you swallow hard.

“I was steering and thought it would be funny to run Bug into a low-hanging tree branch.” Taehyung covers as you shoot him a grateful look and Jimin laughs.

Him calling you bug takes on a whole other meaning after he fucked you and you can’t help but feel arousal pool in your panties at his words.

“You two are such dorks. Come on breakfast is ready.” Jimin says turning his back and heading back up to the cottage.

With your brother’s back turned you take a chance and grab Taehyung’s arm to pull him down to you, just enough so you can whisper in his ear

“Who said it was a one-time thing?”

You giggle when you take in his shocked expression and you skip ahead to catch up with your brother.

Taglist

@caught-in-the-afterglow

@hearteyes4hobi

@m00njinnie

@stayonmars

@marihoneywk

@mustbeaweasleyginger

@xmspurple7x

@taekritimin123

@lerasi

@dejaariana

[qiu-yan]

[postcanon] wei wuxian vs the jiang cheng doppelganger

“I’m the real one!” shouted the first Jiang Cheng, who had a broken nose. “Wei Wuxian, listen to me! I’m the real one! He’s the fake!” 

This Jiang Cheng strained against the four or so disciples restraining him from attacking the target of his wrath: another Jiang Cheng, sporting a black eye, who otherwise looked identical to the first. At these words, the second Jiang Cheng lunged at the first one. The four or so disciples holding him back surged forwards, barely managing to keep the two doppelgangers apart. 

“You’re the fake! I’ll fucking kill you! Wei Wuxian, tell them to let me go so I can kill him!” snarled the second Jiang Cheng, his Zidian sparking across his knuckles and casting a dark light over his black eye. As if in response, the Zidian on the first Jiang Cheng’s hand sparked as well. 

“This is getting ridiculous,” muttered Wei Wuxian. He rubbed his temples. To be fair, he had known going in that this night-hunt was going to be annoying. Doppelgangers, after all, were obnoxiously tricky creatures: not only could they shapeshift themselves to perfectly match the physical appearance of their target, they could also read the majority of their target’s memory to boot, making it virtually impossible for a third-party to tell the doppelganger apart from the original. However, since the doppelganger’s mind-reading skills were not perfect, it was theoretically possible for someone who knew the original article well enough to distinguish between the two. 

Theoretically, it was possible. Theoretically. 

Wei Wuxian clapped, then gestured towards the two Jiang Chengs with his flute. He ignored the way several of the disciples flinched. “All right, let’s try this again. Both of you, tell me something only you would know.” 

Honestly, Wei Wuxian should be separating the two Jiang Chengs, such that each one could speak to him without the other one overhearing. And they had done that at first. Except that approach had repeatedly failed so spectacularly to yield fruitful results - both Jiang Chengs merely confessing increasingly inane yet completely truthful secrets - that Wei Wuxian was no longer inclined to stick to protocol. instead, Wei Wuxian’s mind was already flipping through a wide variety of alternatives. One scholar whose work he’d glanced over earlier had mentioned the possibility of doppelgangers emitting a sort of energy unique to them; maybe Wei Wuxian could cook up a talisman that’d react to that energy…

Between the two Jiang Chengs, meanwhile, there was a long silence. 

Then - “Wei Wuxian, I have to tell you something,” burst out the first Jiang Cheng. 

All the blood seemed to have drained out of his face; the skin under the blood splotches around his broken nose was bone-white. His hands were clenched so tight that Wei Wuxian almost imagined he could hear the bones in them creaking. 

“I - back then, I didn’t get caught because I went back for my parents’ bodies. I knew it was futile. But there was this Wen patrol, and they were right about to see you. So I ran out from my hiding spot to draw them away.” 

Wei Wuxian froze. 

“What the fuck are you saying?!” howled the second Jiang Cheng, the one with the black eye. “Wei Wuxian, don’t listen to him - he’s lying! That’s not what happened! He made that up!” 

With a sudden burst of strength, the second Jiang Cheng broke free of the disciples’ grasp; before anyone could stop him, he surged forwards and decked the first Jiang Cheng in the jaw. Even then, Wei Wuxian did not respond. Instead, all he could hear was the dull ringing in his ears. 

follow-up question:

which Jiang Cheng is the real Jiang Cheng?

[toiletclown]

breathless.

spencer agnew x gn!reader

mostly fluff, a little angst.

part one of four or five, depending how much more i add.

summary: you've had feelings for your best friend, spencer, almost as long as you have known him. it isn't getting any easier, and you need to tell him soon, whether he feels the same or not. your friends are pushing you, the fans already ship you, and after courtney and shayne's success, you just couldn’t bare to keep lying anymore. to yourself, or to him.

word count: 2028 for part one.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

It’s been two years since you graduated from Smosh crew member to Smosh cast member. You weren’t the first, and are unlikely to be the last, but it’s still a bit nerve-wracking. You were moved to cast not long after Spencer made his switch to cast, but that was exactly your problem, wasn’t it? When you were both on crew, it was easier. Small smiles, hidden glances, a blush forming under your mask. Once or twice, Brennan had swiveled his camera to the crew to get their reactions and you couldn’t duck fast enough to dodge the shot. 

You both shared moments without fear of judgment, knowing everyone at Smosh knew how close you were. Some more than others. But once you were both on camera more often, those moments dwindled to near nothingness. You couldn’t make eyes at him, he couldn’t flirt with you. Plenty of the cast flirted with each other on and off camera, of course, but it was different somehow. The office flirting became private hangout flirting, which then became no flirting at all. 

He didn’t get jealous anymore when Amanda or Angela flirted with you, and you did your best not to get jealous when he flirted with Tommy or Shayne. It was like your friendship was entirely platonic again. And while that was all it had ever been – platonic – it hurt a little. It was like something happened overnight, and the flirting wasn’t cool anymore.

The last time something happened before your promotion to cast, Spencer, Angela, and Chanse were doing Who Meme’d It with Shayne, and someone had sent in a meme about you always looking at Spencer. As soon as it popped up, everyone was laughing, and Brennan promptly turned his camera to get your face. You were smart enough to expect it, and you managed to push out a laugh and shrug to the camera. All in good fun, it seemed. But really, it was a little bit upsetting to realize you were so obvious about your affection for Spencer. You thought that you were fairly secretive and weren’t too over the top, but apparently not so much.

“Okay, ‘Y/N pretending they weren’t just staring at Spencer’! Spencer, any thoughts?” Shayne said through giggles. 

Spencer made eye contact with you, and you did your best to hold it. “Gotta be honest, Shayne, I wasn’t even aware they stared at me. Guess they’re sneakier than I thought!” Everyone was laughing again, and you joined in. Instead of making a joke about him staring at you, or a joke about you two flirting in your pod, he went with a PR answer. You could barely admit to yourself how bad it had stung. And sure, most people got roasted in Who Meme’d It, especially with the lack of funeral roasts, but it didn’t really feel good to have your private crush on Spencer blasted to not only cast and crew, but whoever ends up watching this video. And his comment was making it seem more one-sided than you liked.

After the laughter settled down, Shayne got back to hosting. “Alright, who meme’d it! Was it Erin Dougal? Courtney? Or Y/N themselves?” You made a silly face when Brennan panned to you, channeling your best mad scientist look. Your face dropped immediately after. No one saw it.

The cast members debated for a second before writing down their answers. It was Courtney across the board. “Alright, so we all think Courtney made this meme. Angela, what makes you think it was Courtney?” 

“Shayne, that’s a great question, thank you so much for being here with me today. I said Court because I have seen them having little whisper sessions with Y/N and I simply don’t trust like that!” Angela laughed, a bright smile on her face. She winked at you once the camera had moved away from her face. She was actually your go-to confidant, and you were sure she knew that. She was your best friend, behind Spencer, after all.

After a dramatic pause, it was revealed that Erin Dougal was the one who made the meme. You could have called that from a mile away, but that was because Erin was constantly telling you to ask Spencer out. You shot her down every time, knowing it was safer and easier to suffer in silence with your feelings rather than to possibly fuck everything up with your best friend. Besides, suffering in silence was what you were best at.

//

And now, a few months later, you were the one in front of the camera for a Who Meme’d It. It was your first time actually competing, although you’ve sent your fair share of memes in. Spencer and Angela were the only two people to continuously guess you correctly, which in the grand scheme of things made the most sense as they were your closest friends at Smosh. However, you were now competing against both of them, and your competitive side didn’t have a concept of “friendship”, unfortunately. 

“Okay! Welcome back to Who Meme’d It! Today we have Angela, Y/N, and Spencer competing. And Y/N is quite competitive so let’s hope they still have their best friends after this!” Shayne introduced you all, smiling at you to ease your anxiety. 

“Lest we forget what happened when they were on Don’t Win Mario Party and nearly killed me,” Spencer said, turning towards you with his hands folded on the table. His eyes were smiling, but he was trying his best to keep a serious face.

You turned to face him, mirroring his expression and hands. “Lest we forget you deserved that attack because you fucked with my controller mid-lap so that you could get seventh.”

“Okay, are we doing Who Meme’d It or the Newlywed Game?” Angela joked, and you and Spencer returned to your normal positions, excited to play.

//

After the shoot, Spencer caught up with you in the kitchen. “You got your first Who Meme’d It win, how’s it feel?” You had indeed won, but only by two points. Spencer was right behind you and Angela frankly tanked it this episode. Usually she wasn’t too bad, but perhaps she knew how competitive you were going to be and decided to focus more on having fun instead of winning. Especially considering there was content being made that needed to be entertaining.

“Eh, I feel like my competitiveness isn’t very fun on camera. I’m hoping we don’t have to scrap the ep simply because I was too locked in.” You grabbed some fruit from the fridge and prepared to make your way to a table so you could sit and destress before your next shoot. You weren’t needed on set for over an hour so you were ready to mindlessly doomscroll while you snacked on your peaches.

Spencer chuckled at your comment, which made your heart flutter a bit. Suddenly, you had the urge to touch him. You put your hand on his shoulder, mostly unconsciously, not actively making the decision but simply just doing it. His giggling stopped instantly, and he looked at your hand cryptically, his expression unreadable. All too suddenly, it felt too serious, too personal, so you instantly pivoted. “But at least you didn’t win, right?” You smiled, patting his shoulder and turning to head to your seat. 

You were hoping, for the first time ever if you were being honest, that he wouldn’t follow you. Things had been weird between you two for a few weeks now, and you almost wanted some space to deal with the pain of your best friend seeming to lose interest in your friendship. And once again, Erin had submitted a meme that made you a little upset. You knew it was unreasonable to be upset with her, as it was all in good fun and she wasn’t actually trying to hurt your feelings. You should probably try to talk to her about that, since you knew she wouldn’t take your upset personally.

This one was arguably worse than the first one though, because instead of it being at your expense, it was technically at Spencer’s. The meme wasn’t mean in any regard, but it was making fun of Spencer for consistently getting “lost in his thoughts” whenever you were on a shoot together. Of course, Erin alluded to those thoughts being romantic in nature, which earned a few oohs and aahs from the crew and cast alike. You had felt your face get warm and tried to remind yourself you were on camera and it was all in good fun. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by Courtney approaching you. “Y/N, Spence! Just the two people I wanted to see. I have a question for you guys.” 

Clearly, Spencer had intended on following you, since Courtney had greeted you both. You sighed as quietly as possible, before asking Court if you could sit down before you all got to talking. Your castmates followed you to a table, and you popped a piece of fruit in your mouth. “Okay, what's up?” 

“Well, we wanted to do a Guitar Hero stream next week. I know you haven't been on any of the livestreams, so I figured I’d ask if you wanted to be in this one. You don't have to play but if you sit and make commentary I’m sure that'll be enough! But of course you can play if you want to.” Courtney was always so thoughtful, and you made a mental note to thank her for always being so considerate. 

“Oh hell yeah, I finally get to show off my guitar skills. It’s been a minute since I’ve played, but if Y/N’s down, I’m down!” Spencer’s eyes lit up. He had been trying to figure out a way to impress you and gauge your reaction before he finally took the leap and asked you on a date.

Everyone had been encouraging him to do so for months at this point, but he still wasn’t so sure about it. Yeah, you blushed whenever he mentioned you on camera and you blushed a lot during the shoot today when Erin’s meme came up. But some part of him felt like that had less to do with reciprocating a crush and more to do with embarrassment. 

You thought for a minute, munching on your peach slice. “Sure, that sounds fun. Spencer, maybe you could teach me how to play?”

Spencer broke out in a grin, “Of course I can. Although I’m surprised you’ve never played it before, it’s an iconic franchise.”

Courtney worked out a few more details with the two of you before making their way back to their pod. When she had left, Spencer turned his attention back to you. “Have you seriously never played Guitar Hero before?” He genuinely was having trouble believing that.

Truthfully, you had played before. Many times. And you were actually quite skilled at it. But it’s been quite some time since you picked up and played it, and you knew you would be rusty. Plus, you were mentally hatching a plan. Have Spence “teach” you the game, play extremely badly the whole time, then on stream you can kick his ass on Expert mode. Perfect plan.

“I have not. I might have played once or twice as a kid but I don’t really remember the controls or, like, speed, since I know some of the songs are really fast.”

“Okay, do you wanna come by my place tonight after work? I have a bunch of the Guitar Hero games but I also have Clone Hero which will probably be what we use on the stream anyway.”

Oh, right. Not-so-perfect plan. If you were to be taught, you needed to be taught before the livestream. Which means you had to hang out with Spencer outside of work. You can survive one night alone with him, right? You’ve done it so many times before. Sure, it’s been a few weeks since you guys hung out, and with your increasing feelings for him you were sure to be awkward. But it was Spencer! Your best friend in the whole world! It would be just fine. Right?

[aziraphales-library]

Y’all are awesome and I appreciate the hell out of this account! Any fics that are an attempt at a season 3? Preferably comedic ones! Thank you so much and keep up the amazing work! ❤️

Hello. We have a #good omens s3 speculation tag, so check that out. Here are more to add that have some kind of humour tag...

a place to be by kaiyen (NR)

In which Crowley moves back into his flat, Aziraphale has problems at work, and the Second Coming of Christ is but a stone's throw away. In the end, Crowley makes it to rolling green hills, leant against a stubbornly yellow Bentley. He remembers the first morning. He had slithered out of the ground not long before dawn, the dirt damp even before the first rain, the grass cool and crisp against his scales. And the sun had risen, jewels spilling across the great blue sky, warm and golden from the East. Crowley – Crawly, then – had wanted to follow it, had felt a great pull Eastwards. He went, too, until he found the ripe red fruit nestled amongst the lush green leaves and knew what they were for. It was luck, then, that the humans had left in the direction of the sunrise. Luck, or– ineffable. The sun rises over the South Downs, and Crowley finally wants to stay.

The Ineffable Shades of Gray (Good Omens Season 3) by altsernative (T)

After returning to Heaven, Aziraphale learns the Metatron's true intentions, finds himself disillusioned, and regrets his choice to leave Crowley, who has been working in the Temptations department. They reunite, and find themselves stopping the final war between Heaven and Hell and learning God and Satan's true intentions for the world and each other.

Demons are Forever by in_a_pickle (T)

After finallly finding the courage to tell his best friend his feelings, Crowley's dreams are shattered when Aziraphale once again chooses Heaven over happiness together. With ‘Great Plans’ afoot upstairs, Aziraphale discovers that the starring role he accepted comes with some unforeseen duties and that Crowley’s kiss has become something of a distraction. Crowley meanwhile is trying to come to terms with a broken heart and is trying to fathom why Heaven is so keen to have Aziraphale back in the fold. A mini adventure with our favourite group of two, written in case I get hit by a bus and never get to find out what happened next.

The Intended Effect by Esme_Abner (E)

A post-S2 fic that begins with a very sad Crowley and a conflicted Aziraphale and a surprisingly not-awful Jesus. It's all building toward our boys reconciling, because like everyone else, my heart is broken and I need to pick up the pieces somehow. And they might try to like save the world again, too.

(I just can't wait for) Season 3 Good Omens! by RCReveal (T)

After Season 2, I really needed to find out how Aziraphale and Crowley could get their reunion: a real reunion & not 'pretendy real'. They both have so much growing to do with neither of them, yet, being able to even say 'I love you' clearly to each other. Angel, what's going on? What kind of doublethink are you doing to still think that Heaven is the Good side & that you can't even admit to being friends? But you'll do anything to protect the World. Crowley, always planning on running. Sorry, but that won't work. If you had run at Armageddon there'd be no here to be in. But somehow, still a little seed of optimism. And wow! what you two can do together! Especially with a little help from old and new friends. So here's a story about averting the Second Coming with that great ensemble cast of characters in Heaven, Hell, and Whickber ST. Long set up, but then starts to speed up, kinda a wild ride from chapter 42 onto the end. This story is at about the same level of cursing, violence (well, maybe a little more Gaiman-esque), humor (definitely much more Terry Pratchett-esque) and romance as that of the second season.

There's a Special Place on Earth for Beings Like You by Kipje (T)

Set two years after Aziraphale leaves to become Supreme Archangel. It’s the Second Coming. Aziraphale is tasked with finding parents for the new Christ and returns to earth. He needs Crowley’s help, but the two haven’t spoken since the break-up. Crowley doesn’t want to forgive the angel, nor does he want to help out with the baby, but he finds it incredibly hard not to get involved. OR Aziraphale and Crowley raise the new Christ together; a girl named Eden. While they try to sort out their feelings and avert the apocalypse. Excerpt: Crowley had always assumed Aziraphale would want to run away with him in order to be together. He had never bothered to ask if there was a version where they would be an ‘us’ on earth. What was Aziraphale supposed to do once they arrived in the Alpha Centauri system. How would that even work with his book collection? Sure, Aziraphale had fallen in love with the demon – and it had taken him a while to be able to admit that – but he had also fallen in love with humanity, with earth. He had never planned on leaving. He knew earth would be no fun without his favourite wily serpent, but that did not mean he would be fine anywhere as long as Crowley was there. He had standards.

- Mod D