#that people are actually going to believe im an aphobe

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia” but where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss? When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet? Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be.

I got my laptop out for this, goddamn. Where would i even start?

"You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia”" This tells me everything about you, you possibly don't believe in aro/ace identities. You don't believe people can hate on, or be hateful to, aro/ace spec people. And yes I am pissed. Because it was fucked up.

I would try to justify it with "if this was transphobic/homophobia you wouldn't be acting this way" but im guess you don't care about that as you obviously don't see it the same way.

you were also probably someone who sent asks like this (but more hateful) in 2016 and before, you were probably also someone who posted and reblogged aphobic content and said it was "just a joke" later while still sending asks like this to people. Take of that anon and show your face coward.

"where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss?"

where is the accountability for the homophobia, biphobia and transphobia still spewing out of ALL lgbtqia+ spaces? Where is the accountability in the REAL world? Where is it anon? Where is the accountability for the acephobia, the arophobia and so many other "not real sexualities/gender identities" -phobias?

You saw a post about aphobia, and instead of being like "yeah that was f-ed up" or "i dont care" you went "but what about meeeeee" which is very all lives matter of you. (I am not comparing racism to homophobia, however the "what about me" bs can be summed up very easily using all lives matter as an example) For the fucking record, all spaces have assholes, all of them. On behalf of the "normal" aro/ace spec folks, i apologise for any homophobia, biphobia and/or transphobia you have experienced from us. "When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet?" This is a main aphobe talking point so thank you for doing this by the text book so i can break it down easier!

Three pages about asexual hate crimes which im sure every average cishet has to deal with (assuming their white and male) 1 2 (a booklet for asexual people to be actually fucking included) 3

An incredible interview is here but im going to quote a few things from it as theres a 99.9% chance aphobes wont click a link

"We know aromantics and asexuals have existed for as long as humans have. However, it’s only through the terminology recently going mainstream"

"Because of Freud’s influence, many of us grew up learning that our sex drive is the primary motivator of human behavior, but that isn’t the case."

"That mindset replicates itself within the community so that when a new identity emerges, or when people try to explain themselves, there is resistance and pushback from within the community with the mindset that “if we let these kinds of people in, then that will dilute the access to power and resources we have.” And it forces the community to maintain adjacency to white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, ableism and classism, all while leaving behind entire groups of people."

" Do you think there will be more identities joining the LGBTQIA+ acronym? JP: Yes. The more words we have to describe ourselves, the better we are understood."

"The biggest comparisons are the lack of visibility and exclusion from communities on the basis that they’re weird, different, othered or “don’t belong in this space.” Every queer person has experienced this narrative and as more join under the umbrella, the newbie will experience the same challenges, discrimination and misunderstandings as those who came before." and here is another article that has a quote i just live by

"When did trauma become the mark of queerness?"

but back to the aphobe ->

"Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. "

if you think queer = sex then so help me. queer does not equal sex, queer is sexuality. and guess what that is NOT always sexual. sexuality is who your attracted to, whether it be romantically OR sexually.

and Asexuality is a spectrum, some asexuals never have sex, some don't want to have sex but have had it due to trauma or peer pressure, some don't care for it, some did it for a partner but just dont care about it.

same with aromantic. Its a spectrum. By your process here, so so so so so many people are removed from the lgbtqia+ community but you couldn't possibly mean that-

"And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be."

-oh you did.

So none of these are part of the community either then? Agender, Bigender, Intersex, genderfluid, pansexual, omnisexual, Omnigender, Questioning, transgender and queer?

interesting anon.

Anyways i hope my followers enjoyed that! Let me know what you think if you finished reading all this!

Love;

An aegosexual, pansexual, aromantic, trans guy with to much fucking time on his hands.

[asexual-society]

Hii hope you have a wonderful day today! -I wanted to ask something to make sure im not being mean but- is it possible for an Ace person to be Aphobic? Im in a fandom where there used to be a Ace character- he said he was- thing is, the show never said he was SexRepulsed- but fans took his lack of interest as such. believed he was in fact SexRepulsed. -that character is gone- now, there is yet another character (think, a reboot of the old one) believed to be Ace but this time, he seems to be ok with touch an even seems very friendly ~ with only one character. my ask is, if some people view this second version, as still Ace. but sex favorable, is that aphobic? is maybe having another view on this chracter that is questioning himself, a bad thing? because this is said a lot, that ppl is being aphobic for "refusing to accept he is sex repulsed" or "using the fact he is questioning himself to ship him" (mind you-most shipart is literally hand holding and being buddies) hope Im making sense- im so lost and I trust your blog to help me (because im also scared to be harrased for asking this inside that fandom)

Hey! (We got your other ask, I got half way through answering it and then forgot, so I will get to that soon I promise) Good to hear from you again :) I ended up going a little off topic here, but I hope I managed to fully answer this (if not, just send another one). Also get ready for some parentheses.

In answer to the first part of your question, yes ace people can be aphobic (many ace people can be arophobic, but also acephobic, both to people who share their own identity and others who have a different identity under the ace umbrella).

This is a pretty interesting question actually, because there is acephobia at play in the situation you're describing, but not necessarily in the way those people mean. It is NOT acephobic to have a sex favourable ace character, that's fine, because there are sex favourable aces out there and they're just as much a part of our community as those who are indifferent, averse, repulsed, or some sort of mixture. Sex favourable aces have just a much right to see themselves represented as sex averse aces, but unfortunately, there is so little asexual representation that it can feel like if one flavour of ace people are represented, that that representation has been taken away from aces of other flavours.

It's totally understandable to feel that way, but that doesn't mean those feelings are actually justified? And people get pretty negative reactions for complaining about any lack of rep, which can lead to bad feelings all round and just creates even more of a divide between us. We have to understand that our individual experiences not being represented is NOT the fault of other ace people. It's not fair to want one group to miss out on representation, just so another can get theirs. Additionally, it can be important for people who are questioning or struggling with their identity to work through that in their art, and explorations of things like touch aversion and touch starvation can be very nuanced because one person can experience both to very high degrees, and they each can even compound the other. And, a sex favourable asexual person will not feel the same way about sex as an allosexual person, and that is an equally nuanced and interesting (and fun) thing to be able to explore.

I don't know what media this ask is about, so I can't comment on specifics, but I can admit, I've been frustrated by this sort of thing in the past; it can be really hard to shake an instinct to push back when you feel like you're being treated unfairly, but sometimes we do have to step back and understand that everyone in our community feels the same way, we just want to see ourselves and to feel seen by others. As a person who is both aro and ace, and doesn't want to have sex or be in a romantic relationship, I don't feel represented by characters who are alloace in the way an alloace person does, or sex/romance favourable aroace characters in the way sex favourable aroace people do, but they probably feel that same way when they see aro characters or sex averse characters. It does really suck when people outside of the community ignore and erase the identities of aspec characters because they don't feel our experiences are interesting or valuable enough to represent and explore, but that isn't what's happening on an intracommunity level (as in, within the ace community).

The recent discourse about shipping aroace characters has sort of been getting me down, because it's a complex topic and rather than being a black-or-white, two sides thing, there are people with good and bad takes (mostly bad, let's be real) coming from so many different directions, there is so much nuance it would take me much more than one little answer to cover (and let me tell you, if I were to try, it would not be on this blog!). I might have said this before, but I tend to avoid fandoms of media with canon aroace characters for the most part for this exact reason, and within the community we are SO far ahead of where the rest of the world (and even the rest of the queer community) sees aspec people, I genuinely believe (call it cynical if you like) that this will continue to be a problem for several more years. And like, you can just block people and move on with your life, your fandom experience will be so much more enjoyable if you block people who say shit you think sucks, aphobic or not. Everyone should do this.

I think this is probably long enough now, and I've definitely missed something important, but I hope it helped.

~ mod key

[to-junipterandmars]

hi. i saw your tags on the post about vaspider/prismatic-bell/starlightomatic etc and how you had questions about whether they were actually zionist or how to tell if their claims to be pro-palestine were performative. i want to believe you genuinely are curious so im going to try to respond in good faith.

those three have claimed to not be zionists, yes, and they occasionally reblog a palestinian fundraiser here or there, but they far more frequently reblog from israeli extremists, including people who directly serve in the iof. their claims to record israel's crimes on the israeli side fall flat when they frequently deny that any genocide or war crimes are happening at all, and even justify the imprisonment and murder of children. since last october many of these zionists have instigated outright harassment against outspoken palestinians on this site (el-shab-hussein, fairuzfan, ibtisams, etc) talking about their own experiences with friends and loved ones who are still stuck living under the occupation. you can look at any of their blogs and you'll see them explain much more articulately than i can how insidious these types of liberal zionist arguments are.

finally, as an ace person, the part of your tags where you claim the woc who vaspider and others harassed were being aphobic and ask how that isn't just as bad as being zionist: I agree that aphobia is awful and that it hurts to be excluded from the community, but there is never any excuse or justification for sending harassment. nor are the two comparable imo. aphobia is a bigoted belief, to be sure, but zionism is not only bigoted, it is being used to support and maintain a genocidal occupation.

most aphobes are just kind of assholes, and there's a non-0% chance that maybe they'll learn from their mistakes as they grow. by contrast, there is blood on the hands of every zionist, including the ones who pretend to be neutral, because palestinians are dying as long as the zionist occupation remains without the structures that maintain it being dismantled.

sorry to bother you with this ask, but again, im sending this in good faith and i really hope you'll look into more palestinian blogs on tumblr and listen to palestinians when they talk about their experiences.

Hi yes thank you for this. I guess I'm not familiar enough with the stuff that any of those three blogs post. When i looked up their blogs what i saw from a few posts was that yes they definitely were zionist, but seemed to claim to be zionist in a believe-both-israel-and-palestine-should-exist way, which from what I gather is still being complicit in israels oppression??

After thinking about it more I think my question was more along the lines of But if they use the label of zionist, but still want a ceasefire and believe palestine should exist, is that bad?? (I see a lot of posts about how when you're fighting for a cause you don't have to be entirely morally aligned with every single person as long as they want the same thing yk) Of course you don't have to help me answer that, I can look up other resources/look at their blogs/the palestinian blogs you mentioned more closely myself - at the time, I also did not see this harassment of palestinians on these three blogs when I scrolled through them.

On the part about the vaspider acephobia discourse, I wasn't around when it was happening so I found a blog that seemed to have recorded the entire thing, which is where I found out what the entire dispute was about. (Supposedly some kind of list of ace-exclusionists was released, the woc in qstn said that jewish people and nazis being on the same list was anti semitic, vaspider defended the list etc) I wasn't 'claiming' that they (the woc) were acephobic, I think posting that ace people arent part of the queer community because we're cishet passing very much *Is* Acephobic - I'm not trying to drag up old dead discourse here but (at least as far as I saw) I don't think it's possible to prove concretely that vaspider did actually fake their own doxxing - it's entirely likely they were mistaken. I also hadn't seen any record of them harassing this woc (maybe I didn't scroll far enough). Regardless you're right that harassment is never okay, I just didn't see enough myself to say they were transmisogynist.

[werehamburglar]

The anon that sent the long message here again (with another big message too!): I didn't see that post that you said the OP was probably referring to, my bad. Still, they're being extremely aphobic (ironic, huh?) accusing a literal ace/aro person of being an aphobe, especially when looking at your blog for more than a few minutes, it's CLEAR that you are 100% pro-ace / pro-aro.

I would honestly block that person, they seem a little too... unstable? That doesn't feel like the right word because I'm genuinely not trying to insult them. Like I think they fell into the discourse crowd and went to the extremist side of "if it looks like it's supporting shitty people/statements then context is completely unnecessary, they're guilty call them out now". Which has gotten plenty of minorities bullied off of here by "allies" with discourse blogs not checking their sources or information.

They're not worth your time, or your emotions. They're a stranger in a sea of strangers. Block them, and anyone who seems to have appeared through them. Those extremists pockets aren't very big and often never have actual reach, so it'll die with their blogs whenever they grow up and mature.

Lastly -- I would contact your professor and let them know what happened with the internet being down. Especially if this is college. Practically any instructor will brush off any deduction for being little late if it was caused by something out of your control, especially if it doesn't happen often and you make sure to communicate. That's what most instructors (and people in general!) want -- just communication.

i just got to this, sorry.

1. Yeah, I... I don't know. My discourse blog is specifically for being a little shit. And if you look at the rest of the conversation that happened there (on that post), it should be very clear that that's what was happening. Contrasted with my posts on main and my more genuine posts on that blog, I don't know? I genuinely don't know. I don't get it.

2. I don't have to worry about blocking her because she has already blocked me. (She also apparently marked me red on shinigami eyes, which is... wild, because I don't know what I did that was transphobic and nobody has told me yet.)

3. I've already updated my bio to reflect what I'm going to be doing. I'm just going to be on less, for my own sanctity of mind.

4. I did tell my professor what was up, actually! God, I hope she's understanding about my connection issues. On the bright side, I'm done with this semester of college! So there's something silver in this dark cloud. I just have to clean up my dorm and move out.

5. Obviously you shouldn't, like, platform TERFs, especially on your main blog, and I'm sorry about that post I reblogged a few days ago. I should have known better, and I took it down as soon as it was pointed out to me that OP was, in fact, a TERF. But, like... me getting pissed at yet another troll blog made specifically to mock my identity isn't the same as that. Of all the things I could theoretically be called out for, this is the thing?

If anything, all this proves my fears-- that someone is watching every little move and misinterpreting everything I say as something malicious. I know myself and I know that all this is going to make me wildly paranoid and I'm already jumping to the worst possible ends (somehow this gets back to my university, they don't believe me when I defend myself, I get kicked out, someone finds me and recognizes me for what was said, etc.), so I think it really is best if I go on that semi-hiatus. (I want to say, though-- it's not someone else's fault that I'm being so up my own about all this. I'm generally a very anxious person and there's a lot happening right now, so it's making it a little harder to cope with what's happening on here.)

Also, for the record: I'll probably take this ask down when I go through and take down the other posts. Hopefully this all blows over and I can do that soon.

edit: this is the one post I'm going to keep up. i'll link it on the deleted posts log, though.

[chisatowo]

Sometimes I can really tell that some people don't actually know why certain ace/aro hcs are bad

[dyketubbo]

i think maybe one of the most depressing things as an aspec lesbian to go through was the popularization of the sunset lesbian flag during a time where exclusionism was at a peak. the creator seems to have a reputation where people believe that the aphobic claims were fake or debunked

but. as someone who actually saw the aphobic posts made by her (which were very easy to find through simply searching ace on her blog) and all the snarky comments she would make to those who brought it up, along with using the term cishet ace even when people told her it wasnt good to say and having a generally "okay FINE whatever" attitude about it all, it really stinks that so many people bought into the belief that aspec people just. lied about it? or were just trying to take away from lesbians by talking about how hurtful it was to see the most popular design be made by an at-the-time aphobe?

people knew why the lipstick lesbian flag was harmful, but didnt seem to care about the flag the medium article maker (lydia) connected to it, one of which i think is honestly a more thought out flag than one thats just. the lipstick lesbian flag plus the butch lesbian flag put together. not to say it isnt a pretty design but. plphp. not to mention all the other lesbian flag designs that were shoved aside out of an idea that it was "too many" or that the sunset flag was the only valid option

im sure the creator of the sunset flag has changed by now, its been years and while it still exists exclusionism isnt at the all time high it used to be (even if the effects are still heavily felt today). but. it still stings, that so many people were willing to throw aspec people under the bus all for a pretty flag. even aspec people nowadays still think that the claims were lies all along. always gives me a bad taste in my mouth whenever i see the sunset flag now.

i guess maybe thats why i always opt to have dyke be at the forefront of my identity with my pride icons usually being any other flag related to my labels. i still love the alt lesbian flag designs a lot, especially the sappho poem one, but theres nearly no one who knows about it anymore, with the sunset one taking the precedent all because it was more recognizable and people didnt care enough about aspec people then.

just sort of stinks as an aspec lesbian now who had kept such a close watch on the discourse because of how much it meant to me. i wonder if people still talk about it at all

[lostmystyx]

Pls enlighten me with ur kankri Hot Takes I don't know alot about the dancestors 🙏🙏🙏

buddy i know EVERYTHING about the dancestors. everything. and im wrong about nothing. i have read meenahbound at least ten times and that is an underestimate and not a joke. i have read every single fucking word kankris ever spoken, even the tiny shit, multiple fucking times, because my dedication to my craft is nothing if not thorough and torturous. ive read every goddamn character analysis there is on kankri, ive seen all the posts, ive read all the fics (not rlly i love myself), and i can tell you for a fact that everything everyone tells you about him is fuckint wrong. i started studying his character because i was mad abt how ooc ppl made him and i just got madder. i learned how to write him. i perfected it. and i havent done it in years because i hate him and his fans so fucking much. the world is not READY for my kankri takes. they do not DESERVE them.

but i love it when ppl ask me things, so for you, anon, i will take the time to divulge some of my secrets. first off, kankri is a bonafide grade a fucking asshole, hes ableist and sexist and abt every -ist under the sun, and he hides biting remarks under layers of political correctness and ranting so that by the time he insults you youre too zoned out to notice. that said, hes also not an outright asshole, hes not blunt with his meanness, hes not straight up about it, and people who just make him an uncaring dick are ALSO wrong. its an extremely thin line to walk and everyone is falling off like a toddler on a tightrope. he cares, deeply, but hes also fed up with everyone around him (and for good reason, because all of the other dancestors are ALSO massive assholes). he cares about being pc more than he cares about the actual issues hes "fighting for," he makes some good points, and he also makes a lot of bad ones. sometimes hes right, and sometimes hes just so caught up in what i believe boils down to a form of self-loathing via extreme policing of himself and others that he says and does the stupidest things known to man that make me want to cut my own dick off and staple it to my forehead so he can call me a whore and a transphobe.

second, hes capable of not ranting. like, he can carry a normal conversation where he talks a normal amount. it happens. inevitably someone will say something that gets him going, but you know. not every sentence has to be an essay.

third, oh my fucking god if one more person writes some fucking shit where hes "cured" of being celibate i am going to print out and laminate cards that say "youre an aphobe" to pass out to the masses. kankri isnt aroace, hes clearly in love with latula and just has self-imposed celibacy on himself possibly bc he thinks its gonna keep him from mucking up his quads, but even though hes not, and even if he was, the way people handle his celibacy is disgusting and offensive. if you dont want to write him celibate just dont make him celibate and pretend that never happened. otherwise it plays into the "ace ppl just havent found the right dick yet" thing, which iS RLLY OFFENSIVE. this is like. one of my number one kankri pet peeves. ill kill someone over this. the sexually repressed kankri hc i constantly see sucks and is objectively wrong anf im going to rip the head off of the next person i see doing it like a rabid fucking dog.

im going to make this my last note on this, bc i already have a headache just thinking about kankri, but the way ppl characterize his interpersonal relationships is bad. its bad. his relationship with latula is a mirror of karkats with terezi, nothing more, nothing less. his relationship with porrim is fucking bad and unhealthy. porrim babies and infantilizes him and regularly crosses his boundaries, and i t hink (?? dont quote me on this one its been a minute) the only time he rlly gets angry and blows up at someone is bc porrims does something he didnt consent to. at the same time, hes rlly rude to porrim and says loads of bigoted shit to her and treats her like shit. hes super ableist towards mituna, thinks hes an idiot, and treats him like shit. he doesnt really have a good relationship with anyone, because everyone hates him and he hates everyone and all of the dancestors are lions in a cage without enrichment, pacing back and forth and wondering how much longer they can stand each other before one of them snaps and kills the rest (oh wait! damara and meenah kind of did already! and kurloz is actively plotting a second death!)

anyway yeah. this is less of hot takes and more of a list of my pet peeves but yeah. i hate kankri, actually, i think hes the fucking worst, and i obsessively know everything about him out of spite.

disclaimer tho: i like all homestuck charas as charas like its cool its neat theyre cool n i hate kankri like you hate a villain but also i hate the fandoms idea of kankri and i hate kankri fans and if youre going to comment on this post defending ur hcs dont

[daggersandarrows]

i cannot fucking believe i’m having to say this but whatever this fandom is an on fire garbage can

nothing about b*aujes is inherently bad. literally nothing. there’s nothing wrong with shipping it.

the b*aujes fandom is overrun with terfs, which has for the most part in my experience and for everyone i know, resulted in everyone they know who is 1) not a terf and 2) ships b*aujes, leaving the b*aujes fandom.

so now it’s even more majority terfs.

those people have harassed me and my friends incessantly. they have been overwhelmingly racist, ableist, aphobic, misogynistic (ignoring real women’s thoughts and choices to further their own opinion), misandristic (because obviously), and also transphobic (because obviously). many think it is appropriate to harass and threaten the cast

i have seen with my own two eyes a large portion of the b*aujes fandom morph right into the im*dna fandom. which means there are now a lot of terfs in that fandom.

fortunately nowhere near as many, as far as i can tell. still i see them everywhere, and it puts me on edge.

there are also a lot of, i’m sure well meaning but ignorant allosexuals, who either don’t realize or don’t quite understand that they’re stepping on a lot of aspec toes with the fervor of their need for canon to confirm their ship.

having said that, i do tend to get aggressive about that. i see aphobia, intentional or not, and it’s triggery. it’s upsetting. it is also the gateway to terf rhetoric and while obviously not every aphobe is a terf, it’s a slippery slope.

for me to respond to an ask that was TELLING me that i hate lesbians with “oh look a terf” was hasty, yes. i admit that. y’all have to understand that when i post about how much i hate terfs, and how much i hate that they are ignoring real women, and someone responds with “so you hate lesbians”? what that’s telling me is that that person wants someone out there to look at my posts and conflate terfs with lesbians, which is how they recruit. “look see this? anyone who hates terfs hates you.” it also does not help that that is the exact same accusation that i got from a known terf after i’d posted something very personal about being sexually harassed and misgendered by a woman. but out of context it doesn’t make any sense and i should’ve made some room for nuance, even if they didn’t.

it’s obvious to anyone who knows me that i don’t hate lesbians. i’m not gonna waste my time trying to convince random people on the internet of that. if anyone is ACTUALLY concerned that i’m being lesbophobic and thinks i fucked up or am being hurtful, my dms are open. again if y’all know anything about me and are not just trolling the discourse tag to find people to yell at, you know that. my ask box is also still open although anon is off

if one more goddamn person asks me what’s in my pants i am going to fucking lose it. i am not interested in being polite to performative cis assholes.

[littlebabycrybtch]

honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?

holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.

like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.

ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls

[faemytho]

I’m not really in the hazbin hotel fandom ((I love the show don’t get me wrong I’m just not in the fandom)) but I kinda wanna see what you mean? Also I figure you’re still okay with people shipping him just either the fact that people ignore that canonical he is aroace sex repulsed or use it as a “oh we just have to fix him” trope (which fuck that trope)

Same asker that admitted to not really being in the hazbin hotel fandom but liking the show- thought it over and i actually don’t know how you could do Alstser (can’t spell bare with me) without having him as aroace sex repulsed without having him look barely anything like the original- maybe apart from that fic you made a while back

-

okay so, in regards to this post i made earlier about aroace romantic/sex repulsed alastor, that was a headcanon. (i said, and i quote, its canon bc i said so, but in reality ive fooled u all it was just a headcanon i even said so in the tags)

my headcanons aside, alastor IS canonically ace, as referenced by this tweet below (and hey, canon bi character!!! we love that!!)

there is also a footnote on the HH wiki that says alastor is aromantic as well, but the footnote links to a four hour stream video, and i do not actually have the patience to comb through it to see if that's true or not (or if it even came from the mouth of vivzie)

uh, yeah. here's the link to the stream, in case anyone wanted it/was curious.

canonicities aside, lets get one thing out of the way:

i am all for ignoring canon, using fandom to do whatever you want, ect ect, all power to the fans and whatnot, do what you want and be free because its fiction

which means, yes, i am 1000% okay with people shipping alastor with whoever they want! with angel, with charlie, with husk, with vaggie, with nifty, ect ect ect, i don't care, ship what you want, be free, live your best life.

my problem, though, is this: literally nobody in this fandom knows how to write an ace character. and when they do write him as "ace", its OFFENSIVE.

i cannot COUNT the amount of alastor fics ive read where he's supposedly written as asexual (and its usually even tagged in the fic tags, "asexual character"), then ends up sexually attracted to his given partner for that fic, and when they actually go to do the deed, alastor is infantilized to, well, hell and back. and by that, i mean a few things.

he either:

doesn't understand his sudden sexual attraction and/or sexual feelings

doesn't understand what's going on during the sex scene

doesn't know the proper terms for body parts and sexual processes

is HIGHLY feminized and is categorized as "submissive" while the partner becomes the "dominant" and continues on with the sex scene

not only is that fourth one misogynistic and homophobic (an entire other can of worms about how feminine sub/masculine dom in homosexual relationships enforces toxic heteronormativity, aka, the idea that one must "be the girl" and one must "be the man"), but all four of these together are aphobic when you realize, "hey, alastor is an ace character".

off my point a little bit, but ANY relationship (gay, straight, and/or otherwise) should not be using sub/dom as a model to follow - sub/dom is a BDSM kink thing; it should NOT be the normalized sex model for ANY relationship.

there's nothing wrong with kink! but doing BDSM wrong can severely hurt/mentally damage either partner if done incorrectly. normalizing it means that so many young people don't actually understand what sub/dom actually means, and even less the consequences if done wrong.

but back to my point: asexual people get infantilized. and we get infantilized often, because people think "oh, you're not interested in sex/you've never had sex, so you must not 1) know anything about it, 2) know anything about the real world and how nitty gritty it is to survive out here"

basically, ace people get treated like children. a lot.

here is a fantastic article that explains the rampant infantilization of both aro and ace people, and why it is aphobic to do that.

i highly recommend you all read the article, because it is fantastically well written and concise. here's my favorite paragraph:

"Society conditions us to believe that a lack of romantic or sexual attraction is a transitory period. This viewpoint assumes an inevitable progression from a nonsexual to sexual state of being that marks entry into adulthood. Similarly, engaging in romantic relationships is recognized as a milestone of maturity. This stereotyping results in the infantilization of all aromantic and asexual spectra people, especially those who are entirely romance and/or sex-averse. It also incorrectly characterizes asexual people as sex-negative, even though personal sex-aversion and general sex positivity are not mutually exclusive. Moreover, the idea of “being ready” to progress from friendships to romantic and sexual relations undermines the value of platonic relationships, which are integral to our community."

i'm going to move on to one more point, because i know if i don't, i'll get SO many alastor allo-pologist authors whining and screaming about how ace people can have sex too

and yes, here's the thing: asexual people can have sex, can want to have sex, can be sex positive... but that doesn't change the fact that to be not-asexual (or allosexual, if you'd like to use proper terms), you have to be sexually attracted or experience sexual attraction - WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AS HAVING A LIBIDO, AND ITS NOT SOMETHING ACE PEOPLE CAN DO/HAVE.

what ace people can have:

a libido

sex

sexual arousal

sex drive

kinks

a partner they're not necessarily sexually attracted to, but trust to have sex with them anyways

what ace people can't have (unless they're not actually ace and are instead allosexual):

sexual attraction to someone

wanting to have sex with a specific person because of this attraction (a partner, celebrity, people they find explicitly attractive)

still confused? don't be!

here's a post where i better explain the difference between sexual attraction vs sexual drive and what that means for ace people

to close this out, im going to attempt to summarize why im so pissed about this.

alastor is canonically asexual.

he may be sex negative, sex neutral, or sex positive; we don't know, but this is fandom and we're allowed to headcanon him however we wish - we can even headcanon him as not asexual!

which is great, yea, but when the ace character is the fan favorite...

people constantly and consistently write alastor as "ace".

which would be GREAT! if they ever did it correctly.

here's what i see most often. instead of headcanoning him as not asexual, they've heard something about how ace people can have sex anyways!

so for woke points, they slap their alastor ship/sex fics with the "asexual character" tag, and write alastor in one of two ways

uwu baby "ive never said a bad word in my life and i dont understand how the world works" asexual

allosexual, but call him ace anyways

both of those are aphobic. i have yet to come across ONE fic where alastor's asexuality (negative, neutral, or positive) is written, and labeled, CORRECTLY.

you know, it actually hurts MORE when he's written as "ace (actually allo)" than it does if people just headcanon him as not asexual.

alastor is a successful serial killer. he has spent decades in hell.

ALASTOR IS A SUCCESSFUL SERIAL KILLER. HE HAS SPENT DECADES IN HELL.

and you cowards are going to write him as inexperienced, ""innocent"", sexually uneducated?? i think the fuck NOT.

NOT ONLY THAT.

alastor lived through the roaring 20s. the flapper movement. the harlem renaissance. AND the sexual revolution of the 1920s. HE LIVED THROUGH ALL OF THAT. and you're going to act like he doesn't know what sex is?? we even KNOW he lived through all that because he says it himself, "i havent been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929", and 1929 was the end of all those movements and the beginning of the great depression - and then alastor died in 1933 after living a successful serial killer life in louisiana.

tell me again, why wouldn't alastor know what sex is or how it works? and if you can't, THEN STOP WRITING HIM LIKE THAT.

please please PLEASE educate yourself before you write an asexual character. ESPECIALLY if you're going to write them with a libido, and actually ACTING on that libido.

thank you.

sincerely, an exhausted sex positive asexual.

[callingallcars]

ykno i get that this is an mcr blog and i try to either keep it to that or really bad twitter jokes but as a queer adult with a lot of young followers who identify as some part of the lgbtqia+/mogai spectrum i feel like i should just let yall know that ur valid. all of u. INCLUDING the aces and the aros and agender and demi or gray folks and the enby peeps however u identity and pan folks and 2-spirit friends and everyone else. every once in a while i see some stupid “discourse blog” attack people (a lot of attacking minors) just for being who they are and im so tired of it. and im also rlly tired of seeing terfs and swerfs get attention. if ur anywhere in the lgbtq community mostly online pls kno these exclusionists seem big online but most real life spaces aren’t like this and pls dont be discouraged from actively participating in discussion and like reblogging posts with your flag and going to pride bc of it. if ur a kid with these exclusionist ideologies pls consider doin a lil research, askin a friend in the community, check out aven and galop and teen vogue (believe it or not they’re actually excellent), pls consider maybe an adult passed on some warped views to u and that u should come to your own conclusions after doin ur own research. its ok to make mistakes when ur younger, growth is important and imperative to getting older and wiser.

if ur a wholeass adult with the knowledge of how to research and resources to do so and u choose to run a blog dedicated to spreading hateful ideology to minors or to attack people (especially minors) who use the internet as a safe space to express themselves unkindly kick yourself in the face.

now that my speil is over: yall can go block the-defiant-pupil cuz theyre an aphobe and think nb people are transphobic so just go fuckin block that shit please.

[fuckyeahasexual]

I saw a well respected leftist and trans activist refer to the ace community as 'pushing harmful tennants' and essentially being an an agenda and hiding people who need to confront their trauma or homophobia and i want to cry so bad. This has happens often. How can people so educated in lgbtq and leftist issues be SO aphobic? It makes me feel like what if im in the wrong, the "clueless bootlicking liberal" they accuse us of being, and inherently bad and dumb. It's RLY awful for my mental health.

God, I know. And honestly, I think it’s gotten worse until the past few years I’m been forced towards suicidal ideation by people who absolutely should know better and should absolutely be on my side and yet they are gleeful in it. In part, it’s an “I’m in pain and I’m going to cause pain back that will teach the world. And if someone gets hurt in that process oh well because my end goal is just”. That’s a bad tactic. 

You know what helps me not doubt myself on that deeply “but this is my label” way? Two things. First, anarchy. I always believe the number one authority of yourself is you. So when someone says “All aces are just abuse victims” I know it’s a lie. Because 1) that’s a provable lie they are not 2) even if it was true for someone, that person doesn’t need to heal in heteronormative way. By whose authority says they have to? Most bigotry comes from someone saying they have authority over others. And while some systems are in place for the collective good. (For example speed limits) When it comes to a personal label there is no governing board and there never will be.

Second, when I really cannot stand the lateral aggression but can’t really disengage from the world at large I’ll watch the news or spend my time in other communities that I share an identity in. Listening to other communities discuss seemingly unrelated things or the news recap something historical I rehear the same lies. And to see the same bullshit used against different minorities reminds me that they are all lies meant to control people.

Actually a bonus of three. Work in good faith, but don’t let people use that good faith against you. There are bad actors and someone who is right in one area and be a fucking bigot in another area.

[captainshyguy]

anyway nice to know mutuals i like think my identity is a fucking joke thanks 

[grungegoths]

Im not gonna reblog this from OP bc they run an entire discourse blog and im tired of arguing with discourse blogs coz im pretty sure they all have read many similar and amazing arguments against this think piece and yet choose to be aphobic but heres again why i think these arguments are COMPLETE BULLSHIT.This post is gonna be long, but it will be worth it coz im gonna put many many sources here so that we hopefully dont have to go through this bullshit again :

The chances of a person being a “cishet” ace in this world are very very veeerryy SMALL.Asexuality already constitutes only ONE PERCENT of the total WORLD POPULATION.And the chances of those ONE PERCENT of people being cisgender AS WELL AS straight AS WELL AS asexual simultaneously are FUCKING MICROSCOPIC.And even then not every single of those “cishet” aces would be kicked out of their house for being ace just like not every lgbt person is kicked out of their houses.

This whole rhetoric is based on “ace people dont feel oppression for being ace so they dont deserve lgbt resources” which is fucking false. aces are as likely to be suicidal as gay or bi people, and twice as likely as straight people because of their asexuality. A-spec trans people face significantly higher levels of homelessness, and eviction than any other demographic of trans people.There are more proofs but ive covered them in a different post and you can check it out if you like.If ace people are kicked out because of their orientation just like lgbt people are,why should we not let them have access to lgbtqa resources??who decides the hierarchy of orientations who get access to resources first and who last?? 

Also,how IS trans people not being able to afford transition therapies and HIV+ people being being unable to afford the resources related to “cishet” aces “stealing” resources????Like what do yall think, “cishet” aces are gonna get transition therapies when they dont need them or are gonna get themselves treatment for HIV+ when they don t even have it?????How the fuck is this argument even relevant to the discussion????? 

Not to mention,there is no proof of EVERY SINGLE lgbt+ shelter being overcrowded and if you believe that,you are intentionally being ridiculous.And everyone who actually works in these kind of organizations and shelters knows DAMN well that these organizations are usually bending over backwards trying to include anybody who might possibly ever need their resources even the tiniest bit bc when they have more people they help, they get more funding and visibility.Grants and donors give more money to organizations who help more people(x).More Ace people reaching out to those lgbt+ organizations and shelters will only increase their visibility and funding in the long run.

You know who ACTUALLY is NOT getting enough resources? bisexual people.They got $0 out of $97,189,139 for LGBT+ funding.And their funding keeps decreasing to increase funding for Gays  which is horrible bc  Bi people tend to fare worse than gay people in issues such as poverty, health, mental illness, violence, etc. These statistics are constantly used to get more funding for LGBT+ organizations but then barely any of it goes towards bisexuals. Which is y’know stealing resources.(x).YET these discourse bloggers never address this issue and keep making posts after posts about the microscopic hypothetical of “cishet” aces stealing resources which RARELY happens.If you are so much concerned about lgbt people not getting enough resources,then start addressing problems that are ACTUALLY occurring than blaming it on a strawman argument.

Many big and important LGBTQA organizations like  the Trevor Project, GLMA, National LGBTQ Task Force, GLSEN and PFLAG , GLAAD etc recognize and accept Asexuals as part of the community. (x) . If you think you with your 2k followers discourse blog and half baked knowledge about lgbtqa history has hotter takes than people who actually WORK for the betterment of lgbtqa people, than you are a dumbass lol.

Therefore,considering the above arguments, the chance that some “cishet” ace will be kicked out of their house and will hog up a lgbtqa shelter which has space for only one(1) more person and will result in the death of another lgbt person in the street bc they too were somehow kicked out of their house at the same time as that “cishet” ace and couldnt find any other lgbtqa shelter is LITERALLY NEGLIGIBLE.This issue and argument is a strawman and is REALLY REALLY not worth dedicating ENTIRE BLOGS , 15 page thinkpieces and masterposts about.

Stop thinking that people who keep bringing up these arguments are just doing it “for the greater” good of the lgbtqa community.There are much much more pressing issues for lgbtqa people to deal with than some hypothetical which has very very very low chances of happening.These people are aphobes and are only using these arguments to forther their aphobic agenda

[purbleinactive]

new dni cause i fucking lost my old one

DON’T FUCKING INTERACT IF

▹ trumed/terf/gender critical/nonbinary skeptics/bullshit like that ▹ anti anti/pro ship/neutral (you support glorified abuse/incest/pedo shit, fiction or not) ▹ interact with/are -@/kiki/the/deceiver -@/kagerou/soda/project -@/kano/shin/kano/shin/kano/shin -people in general who are openly nasty ▹ pedophilies/maps/nomaps/lolicons/shotacons/etc ▹ you won’t tag q*eer (idc if you reclaim it and shit go wild pls just tag it) ▹ you ship/make fanfics of/etc real fucking people ▹ you say slurs you cant reclaim/try to reclaim slurs for other people ▹ use the terms trap/reverse trap ▹ you are anti kin ▹ youre a self proclaimed p*ycho/yandere/sociopath or you say you have “multiple personalities” ▹ you support -hetalia -attack on titan -boyfriend to death -sanders sides -camp camp -other generally bad shit ▹ anti polyamory ▹ pewdiepiss+people who interact with him supporter ▹ mineta/teruteru apologist/stan ▹ have/interact with nsfw/ddlg/etc accs ▹ over age 25 ▹ you believe in reverse oppression (reverse racism, heterophobia, cisphobia, etc) ▹ you think pronouns = gender ▹ aphobic ▹ you donate to ao3

NOTES

▹ im an inclusionist ▹ as a kano kin stop making me fuck my goddamn siblings i swear to GOD if you think me x any of my siblings makes for a good ship im PERSONALLY going to break into your FUCKING house and i’m going to fill it with fucking Superglue. the entire goddamn thing itll be like a goddamn aquarium except intead of water? its fucking superglue. ▹ i really do not give a shit what you identify as as long as youre not hurting anyone

PLEASE TAG

▹ mentions of suicide/self harm (tag with #suicide / #self harm or #sh) ▹  images of wasps (tag with #wasps) ▹ audio of upset/angry yelling (tag with #yelling, #nsft or #tdl) ▹ the phrase "l*ttle g*rl" (tag with #nsft or #tdl. not the actual term*) ▹ q*eer (tag as #q word, #q*eer, just not the actual term*) ▹ irl needles/syringes (tag with #needles or #syringes) ▹ irl injuries** (tag with #injuries)

*when a blacklisted post shows up on my dash it shows me what tag on it was blacklisted, so if you blacklist the term i need tagged as the term itself that sort of defeats the purpose of tagging it at all for me **minor shit's fine, i more mean just really nasty shit with lots of blood

▹ #nsft and #tdl are both catchalls. what you tag shit with isnt really important i just stuck examples there for clarity

[continue to abt]

[sheepgirlwizard]

No one really got upset at you for saying microlabels were good and fine. Zach got upset that you vague posted him instead of just responding to his post to have an actual convo about it, and dropped implications that he was transphobic and aphobic for talking about his experiences with the mogai thing on Tumblr during like 2011.

Yeah? A little bird told me he and someone else was going to block me nd someone else over believing that demigenders are a thing. also? there was no “actual conversation” to be had there. binary folks, cis or trans, have nothing of value to bring to the table about nonbinary discussions.

and also please tell me how this vague-posting is to the same degree that he fuckin vague-posted about me? i post something that says “hey, unfollow me if you don’t respect NB and ace people.” You know, a statement that can apply to literally anyone. but he posts “uwu im gonna unfollow a jerk uwu” and its clear who hes talking about, and somehow we’ve posted the same vaguepost? I mean, hey, if the dog whistles are silent enough and the person self-victimizes enough, the victims of that rhetoric are the ones at fault, yeah?and if he were ACTUALLY upset about me vagueposting then why block me instead of just DM me asking me to take it down and have a discussion in private? hmm i wonder if it’s bc he never cared about having a discussion in the first place. After all, why have a discussion when you can laugh at ~autigender~ (while not being autistic) and then in the background laugh at demisexual people (while not being asexual) and demiromantic people (without being aromantic) as well as demigender people (without being nonbinary)