#that’s where things got uncomfortable for me though

[reiderwriter]

💫 Starry-Eyed 💫

Pairing: Porn Star! Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge

Summary: For work experience, you take a job working the cameras on a porn shoot, but after becoming suddenly attracted to a new coworker, you shortly find yourself as a fluffer, the person whose job it is to keep the "talent" aroused between takes.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Porn AU, College AU kinda, exhibitionism, oral sex (f receiving), consensual voyeurism, masturbation (male), blow job, deep throating, messy orgasm.

A/N: Well, look at where we are. I think this actually counts as my first Alternate Universe fic, which is crazy all things considered. I'm really enjoying the Kink Bingo Challenge as it's leading me to so many new ideas for fics!! I hope you all enjoy this one 🥰

Masterlist || Bingo Board

Being a college student still at age 25 meant many things, but mostly, it meant you had friends at many different stages of their lives. Some were fresh out of high school halls, enjoying their first taste of freedom, some were enjoying their first drops of alcohol. Some were giving up alcohol for good and starting families. 

Some of them were successful porn stars who'd funded their own start-up porn production company. It certainly was one way to use a film degree. You knew a professor or two who would enjoy her work more than half your syllabus as well. 

Candi Rapper had become famous doing cam shows in her first year of college and had gone all-in after graduation. You'd shared a few classes in the early days, before you took a break from college for financial reasons, of course. By the time you'd gone back, she was a big time and now in the position to offer you a job. 

“One of my crews is down a cameraman this weekend. If you're open to it, I pay a fair wage?” she'd offed at your weekly brunch. 

“Will you be the star?” You joked back with her. 

“You wish.” 

You took the job, of course, along with a ride from Candi (her name was Kate, but you'd let her pretend) and pulled up on site bright and alert at 7am. 

The set was a large mansion - typical, Candi said - and you'd be mostly shooting in the living room - typical, Candi said. You'd had to tell her after her second typical that you were, in fact, an adult and had seen at least one porno before until she cut out pornsplaining everything to you. She introduced you to the key staff and the director, and they got you set up at your camera. 

“The shoot today is going to be around 5 hours. You'll be on camera three. The papers in front have your cues and directions. You can have some free time until we start. There's a breakfast spread in the kitchen, help yourself.”

Not one to turn down free food, you bee-lined there and stood awkwardly in line for the coffee with the dozen or so other crew members, eyeing up the take-out pancakes organised across the granite surface. 

“Your first time?” An older man asked from behind you, smiling in a friendly manner. 

“You can tell?” 

“You're thinking about eating the pancakes, and the rest of us are remembering the scene filmed there last weekend," as if on queue, a shiver ran down his spine. "Yeah, we can tell.” You laughed along with the man's joke and finally grabbed your coffee. 

Luck just wasn't on your side, though, as you turned and immediately ran into someone immediately sloshing the coffee onto your shirt. 

“Oh my god, I am so - I'm so sorry, I need to watch where I'm going.” 

You'd run into 6’3” of lanky, awkward male perfection. He looked young, your age or younger most likely, and was fidgeting as he stood, the most obviously uncomfortable person in the building.

Your first thought was “Is he lost?” closely followed by “Can I beg him to get lost in a linen closet somewhere with me?” 

He grabbed a handful of tissues from the counter nearby and began attempting to wipe away the coffee you'd spilt down yourself, completely unaware that he was fondling your breasts in his haste to do so. 

“Slow down there, tiger, shoot doesn't start for another half hour,” you said, winking at him as you took the tissues from his panicked hands and dried yourself as best you could. 

“I know, I memorised the call sheet. Who are you?” His question was blunt, but you weren't taken aback at all, your smile even deepening as you enjoyed his subtle attention. 

“I'm Y/N. It's my first time.” 

He spluttered, coming up with an answer to that, and you immediately cursed yourself for the slip. 

“My first time on set, not my- I'm 25. Not that age determines experience per say but-”

“I'm 22. And my name is Spencer,” he said, grasping your hand and shaking it. 

“So, it's your first time on set?” He asked, relaxing more into the conversation as he stepped closer to you, letting the other staff members come and go from the kitchen. 

“Yeah. My friend offered me the job, you know Candi?” 

He nodded but didn't speak, so you continued. 

“She thought the experience would be good for me. And the cash. Gotta put myself through college somehow, and it was this or stripping.” 

He laughed, and you felt a flash of warmth in your stomach, a familiar hunger spreading across your lower body. Maybe it was just the atmosphere of the set, but the air was charged with arousal. 

“Well, you're certainly attractive enough to do both jobs. I'm sure the camera is going to love you,” he said, sounding so genuine and enthusiastic that you almost felt bad you had to correct him.

“Oh! Oh, no, Spencer, I'm not - I'm, uh, I'm going to be behind the camera. Behind camera number two.” 

His face instantly flushed, and you thought you saw a pang of disappointment there for a second, too. The thought of him being disappointed made your skin heat, that he'd been looking forward somehow to watching you get fucked? Your cunt throbbed and suddenly, you found you did wish to display yourself, to let everyone see if it meant that he got to.

“I am so sorry. I didn't - I thought… No, I didn't think, I… I'll shut up now, please excuse me-” 

“No, Spencer, wait-” 

You tried to call after him, but he sent you an embarrassed smile and walked off in haste, leaving you behind as the director called people to their places. 

You were still flushed with arousal as you moved to your station, getting your camera ready for filming. You were distracted even as the scene started, and the female actress came on set, already stripped down to her underwear and touching herself, teasing the camera. 

Surprisingly, you found the work easy enough, too busy focusing on the settings and the gaze of the camera to even care about what was going on down the lens. She was moaning and writhing and gasping sure, to the benefit of the cameras, and although strangely intimate, nobody in the room seemed bothered, so neither did you. 

Or neither did you until the actual scenario started, and your actress got ‘caught’ doing the dirty by the needy boy next door. You hadn't looked at the call sheet closely enough as Spencer peeped through the door to the bedroom, entering the scene not by accident but as a scripted part of the show. 

Your eyes bulged out of your head as you immediately looked down to your prompt sheet to find his name there. 

LEAD ACTOR: SPENCER REID

His stage name was scribbled next to that, but you paid it no attention as you steadied your camera again and got to filming seriously again. 

The actress had pulled his glasses off and led him to the bed, letting him keep on his sweater vest and tie as she pulled his head between her legs, and he started doing his job. 

Even from your view to the side of him, you could tell this wasn't his first time doing that. His tongue spread across the expanse of her heat, first, letting her grind into his face, getting comfortable before he snaked a hand up to her stomach and held her in place for as long as he so desired.

Then, he rolled her clit into his mouth and sucked. The fake moans and whimpers suddenly became real as you saw the sheer skill of his tongue ripple through the woman's body. 

You couldn't even be jealous at this point, despite how much you sorely wished that were you on the bed. Surely no girl had resorted to porn out of pure horny desire before, right? 

After a while of letting her gasp and moan under his tongue, Spencer's fingers curled inside the other woman as well. The director called cut, and he kept his fingers there, even as they walked him through the next few shots, and instructed him to unzip his pants in the next few clips. 

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself as the cameras started rolling again, and he did finally free himself from his tight khakis. 

You knew you'd probably sign up for whatever was on offer at this company next to see that gift again. Spencer wasn't an impressive size or girth, nothing so alien or out of the ordinary that it only belonged in porn. It was just that his cock looked so… pretty. 

He was an inch or two longer than any man you'd ever been with, you were sure, but his cock seemed to have an air of dignity about it. 

You had to stop yourself at that thought. Dignity? Really? You were working part-time on a porn set, and there was suddenly dignity involved? 

You rolled your shoulders back and tried to find your earlier unbothered attitude. But with his cock in his hands and his face slick with female arousal, you really couldn't bring yourself to think about anything less than his fingers roughly finger-fucking you. 

You tried to close your eyes to it, to be blind, but the wet, sticky sounds only distracted you  and you found yourself soon swaying, swaying, swaying until you had to catch yourself before the camera dropped. 

With a shout of “yes, baby, yes,” the female star came on his face, sending up a furret of fluids as he just kept diligently stroking his cock, only stopping at the director's final yell of “CUT.”

“Perfect guys, let's get her up and drinking water again. You need to stay hydrated after all that,” he joked, a PA walking over to pass the actress a robe and a bottle of water as she walked off set. 

You relaxed for a second, trying to find your quickest route out of the room so you wouldn't have to drool over the man's cock so obviously any more. 

“FLUFFER? Where's the fluffer?” The director yelled, looking around for someone who obviously wasn't there yet. 

“Well?”

Still, no one arrived to do whatever job they needed doing, and you felt desperate for escape. 

“New girl, would you mind?” Some crew member called out from the sidelines, nodding at you. 

“Oh, uh, sure,” you said, hoping that whatever job you agreed to would get you far enough from this room and the heat between your legs as possible. You were not a prude, and you would not bolt from your very first film shoot. 

“Great, get on the bed and keep the boy company,” the director said before exiting the room. 

You were absolutely on board with becoming a prude and bolting the scene as fast as your legs could carry you. Unfortunately, eight people still sat around, monitoring equipment and chatting on their breaks, and so you were forced to comply with the task. 

“We meet again,” you greeted the man stiffly as you found him on the bed, an apprehensive, tight smile on his own face.

“You don't have to do this if you're uncomfortable, I can keep myself… occupied.” 

You noticed then that his hand was still wrapped around his cock, giving it slow strokes, not enough to tip him over the edge, but just enough to maintain the erection. 

“So the fluffer….?” 

“Prepares the actors for the next scene? I need to stay- let say in shape.” 

His face flushed crimson as your gaze slipped down to his cock in his hand. 

“So you want me to-” 

“NO. No, I usually only talk to the Fluffers. Look at them, you know?” 

You nodded and found yourself suddenly going still, watching his face contort with pleasure as his eyes raked over your chest and legs. 

You couldn't help but let your eyes dart south again, and fuck did you wish you hadn't. His spare hand fisted the sheets as he stroked himself gently, practically taunting himself with the light touch. 

“You do this often?” you asked, trying to pretend you were open to having a normal conversation even while your brain begged you to climb into his lap and sink down as fast as you could. 

“You mean maaturbate or the porn thing?” 

“Porn.” 

“No. No, I come in for a shoot every few months. One of these shoots tends to fund another semester of my PhD, so-” 

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were impressed by that admission, but your predominate thought was still “shit, shit, shit, shit.” 

“That's impressive,” you said, only catching your words as they tripped out of your mouth. “THE PHD! The PhD, I mean not your… penis? Not that it isn’t appealing, or- or-.” 

You tried your hardest to use the most clinical word you could, distancing yourself from the honeyed words you so wanted to drop in his ear to get him to crawl further up the bed and entice him to make his own scene with you. 

“Thank you. It's my third,” he said, slightly more relaxed now that you were the flustered one. 

“PhD that is. Not cock. I only have one of these.” 

“One is enough,” you say, unable to stop the words tumbling out as your eyes again find themselves following each pump of his hand up and down his cock. Inwardly, you curse your friend for starting up her stupid business and paying you to simply exist in the same hemisphere as this man without being able to ride him. 

“Do you want to touch it?” He asked, blurting the words out suddenly. As if God had answered your prayers, your heart leapt up into your throat, your pussy clenching around nothing as you shifted your hips closer to him. 

You'd thought then that you'd quite enjoy bouncing on that thing yourself, but a handshake would have to do.

“So you have to stay hard, but-” 

“But it's best I don't cum, yeah.”

“Okay. Noted.”

Slowly, you reached out a hand and gently wrapped each finger around the tip of his cock. He released himself and wrapped his now free hand around yours, setting the pace for you quickly as he engaged you in conversation again. 

“So, where are you from?” He asked, as inept at small talk as you felt in that second. 

You answered him without a fuss and returned the question. Las Vegas. That seemed to check out with how easily he'd broken into porn. There was always something happening in that city. 

"How'd you get into the business?"

"Well, Vegas, you know. A producer saw a group of... street ladies offer me a freebie and gave me his card."

You went back and forth on questions like that for a few minutes before you noticed he was coughing every few seconds to mask moans and groans, evidently too into this to request you stop. 

“Is it okay to…Can I touch you?” He asked, sounding very afraid of rejection at that second. 

“Oh, um, yes. That'd only be fair, right?” 

He ran a hand up your waist to the curve of your breast and pressed his fingers into one, digging into the skin as though it were a pillow, and he was testing it before he fell head first into it. 

Maybe that was just wishful thinking, though. 

Temporarily, you let go of him, popping the front buttons of your blouse until he could freely see all of your black and red bra, and feast on the tops of your dusty nipples, peaking out just above each cup.

You heard him inhale sharply, even as he tried to hide it, but you didn't care, too transfixed on the precum decorating his tip. 

“Would you mind-” You started, but cut yourself off quickly, biting your lower lip. 

“Mind?” 

“Can I suck it?”

You didn't know where it came from because there were probably half a dozen other people still in the room, and mostly men. But dear god, he looked delicious, and you wanted just a little sample. 

“Fuck yes,” he said, finally giving in and letting out a whole gust of breath as he slumped down a bit further, no longer holding himself rigid. “No, no, actually, please do. I'm begging, I'll beg-” 

You cut him off by pushing yourself to your knees and crawling in between his, and seconds later, you were licking the length of his cock from the base of his balls all the way to that precious drop of precum. 

Hard, but no cumming. You could do that. You'd never done it before, preferring to fully pleasure sexual partners any chance you got, but there was no time like the present to start learning. 

Slowly, you wrapped your lips around his tip and sank down, taking one inch, then another, and then another. When you reached the base of his cock, you pushed that little bit further down, calming yourself and going slowly so you didn't gag, nose pushing into his neat public hair before pulling away just as slowly and doing it again. 

You took him as deep down your throat as you could manage, and suddenly, it was like everything that kept your conversation casual and civil earlier had flown out the door. He threw his head back, fisted his hand in your hair, and moaned deep. 

The sound shook you so much you almost pushed a hand into your own underwear and started fucking yourself, needing to prepare yourself for him like a good girl. 

Around you, you could hear signs of the shoot starting back up again, people finding their places, still all but ignoring you deep-throating a porn star. 

Spencer's breaths grew more rapid as you sucked him, hips becoming restless as he tried to lift up into your mouth, hand in your hair tightening as you realised your mistake. 

You pulled off his cock and grasped it again, stroking it slowly, but it was too late. With a sharp moan and a twitch of his hips, Spencer so prettily decorated your chin and chest. His cum dripped down your face, hitting your cleavage and pushing further down to stain your nice black laced underwear white.

“Fuck! Sorry, I wasn't meant to do that, let me get some - Can I get a towel please? A baby wipe? Some tissue, anything?” His voice was panicked, but his hand on your head relaxed, and he brushed your hair gently behind your ear, as if comforting you. 

He was panicked, for sure, but the crew calmly handed him everything he needed, as if they'd been in anticipation of just this thing happening. You supposed they probably were, this being a porn set. You were sure you were supposed to clean yourself up, but instead, he grabbed a wet tissue, leaving the pack just out of your reach.

He managed to clean your face off a bit before the director returned to the room with a laugh. Running a hand through his hair and messing it up slightly, the director turned back to you.

“We're five minutes out from shoot time,” he said, shaking his head. You started to apologise, but he stopped you with a hand. 

“New girl, work whatever magic you just did and get him hard again. Five minutes.” 

“W-What?” You spluttered, trying your best to rise from your knees, but ultimately failing. You were either stiff from the position or just weak with arousal. 

“He just came, I don't think I can-”

“10 pictures I've done with that kid, and I haven't seen him cum that quickly ever before in my life. And certainly not just for some kitten licks. Do it.”

You turned back to Spencer, his cum still trickling down your chest, creating an almost uncomfortable stiffness as it dried up. 

“Pleasure working with you?” You said, not-so-secretly ecstatic that you got to sample him once more. 

“I'll be in your care,” he replied, as you begin softly kissing the head of his cock again, tipping his head back again and losing himself in the pleasure or your tongue.

[k3n-dyll]

how about when things start to get spicy with sevika and she finds out it's readers first time

This got longer than I thought it would lol, but I wound up making her kinda soft in this one. The world needs more soft Sev content.

☆Men, minors and ageless DNI

Warnings... 18+, wlw, not proofread, established new relationship, fingering (r!receiving), oral (r!receiving), domtop!Sevika, virgin!reader, fem!reader, AFAB reader, praise, no specific physical descriptions but reader is implied to have plush hips for like a second Word Count: 1.5k | Masterlist. | Divider Creds | Links 4 Palestine

Notes ☆ This one's been in my drafts for months I'm so sorry. I kinda rushed the ending (it's past my bedtime) and I've been hating my writing recently so a reminder that (constructive) feedback is much appreciated

"Baby...you okay?"

Sevika's voice echoes through your mind, drawing you out of your thoughts, her hands now lightly trailing from where they'd once been underneath your shirt to rest on your hips. She looks a bit concerned, her head cocked to the side as she looks up at you from where you're perched on her lap. The rigidity of your spine hadn't gone unnoticed by her, her plump lips retracting from your neck, sharp, silver eyes narrowing at the sudden show of unease in your body.

You had kissed before, briefly. It wasn't like the contact was something new, it was simply elevated. A nice, home-cooked dinner and a few glasses of expensive red wine she'd smuggled from Piltover had wound up with you in her lap, straddling her thighs as your lips crashed together in an almost desperate make-out session, her hands gripping and fondling your body in a way you'd never felt before. You'd convinced yourself that you were fine, confident even. But as her kisses turned into licks and bites along your neck, her hands traveling upward into the thin cloth of your blouse something in you snapped. It's entirely irrational, and yet you can't control it asyour mind suddenly rushes with thoughts of every single way you could fuck up in the moment and do something that would make her want to stop. Something that would make her not want to be with you anymore.

"Baby" she repeats herself, her flesh hand giving a gentle squeeze to the plush of your hip, wanting you to speak to her.

Your eyes cast down in slight embarrassment at being detected so easily in your nervousness, giving her a small smile and dismissively waving your hand in an attempt to downplay your tension, you speak.

"Sorry, babe. I'm okay" You murmur, leaning in to kiss her again, which, for a moment, she allows, but if there's one thing about Sevika it's that she isn't going to let it go. Not when you're still so stiff in her arms.

"What is it?" she demands, once again breaking the kiss and moving her head back a bit in order to look you in the eye. You let out a sigh, not having expected this to make you as anxious as it did.

"I just...I haven't really...done this before" You admit after a bit of quiet.

That admission gives her pause, a flicker of surprise crossing her features before she lets out a soft hum in acknowledgment. Despite her urges, and the sticky pool of arousal that's already formed in her panties, the last thing she wants to do is have you uncomfortable.

"D'you want me to stop?" she questions, her hands already loosening their grip on you. Before she can fully move them away though, you wrap your hands around her forearms, still craving for her touch regardless of your internal conflict. You shake your head quickly in response.

"No, no, I don't want...I don't want you to stop, I'm just nervous is all"

"Nervous?" she asks, now admittedly more worried.

"I just don't wanna fuck up" The words come out quickly as you see Sevika's eyebrows knit together, not wanting her to think your reservations are her fault. To your shock, she just chuckles at your response, shaking her head before pressing a soft peck to your lips. "You aren't going to fuck up, baby." Her voice coming out as more of a calming purr rather than the concerned tone she'd had a moment ago, using her mech hand to pull you further up onto her lap. "Just let me take care of you, yeah?"

You nod, and without warning she stands up, arms hooked under your thighs.

"What're you doing?"

"Well, I don't want your first time to be on that banged-up old couch" she mutters, continuing to pepper kisses along your neck as she walks you to her bedroom.

Sevika's never really been one for tenderness. And the idea of taking things slow with a sexual partner, at least most of the time, wasn't really her thing but you would never know it from the way she handles your body in this moment. Gingerly lying you down on her bed, pressing soft butterfly kisses on your cheeks and mouth. Using her mech arm to hold herself in a hover above your body, her flesh hand rides up your shirt again, slowly caressing and massaging the soft skin underneath before slipping it off of your torso entirely.

"You sure you want more?" Sevika hums against your skin, nuzzling the tip of her nose against your throat, needing to confirm that you're absolutely sure before she lets loose. You nod, but of course, your girl's not having it.

"Speak. Tell me you want more."

The soft, commanding tone of her voice sends a shiver down your spine.

"Please Sev...I want more, I'm sure. I promise I'm sure." your cheeks hot as you stumble awkwardly with your words.

That's all the affirmation she needs, her hands now working around your back to unhook and discard your bra. You feel the calloused palm of her large hand grazing against your skin, groping at the fat of your breast as her lips latch around your nipple on the other, gently sucking and nipping at it with her teeth.

Her normal impatient attitude when it comes to most things has seemingly disappeared as she makes her way down your body. It takes every ounce of self-control to make it so, Sevika denying her urge to rip your clothes off to slowly strip you down instead, then herself, hungry eyes flickering up to you with each article of cloth shed to make sure you're still okay.

It's when you feel her hand beginning to slip underneath your panties that you tense again. The stiffness earns you a softly uttered "Relax baby" from Sevika before you feel the pads of her fingers begin tracing your puffy clit, the contact almost soothing now that there's some relief to the growing ache between your thighs.

Sevika is quick to replace her fingers with her mouth, eager to position herself snugly between your thighs, hoisting your legs over her broad shoulders and pressing her tongue flush against your cunt. The feeling sends a jolt of electricity through you, the expected but new feeling of her soft lips pressing kisses against your swollen pearl, her tongue dragging along your slit rendering your brain useless.

"Oh my god..." Your hands instinctively weave into her short, dark strands as you unconsciously press yourself into her closer.

Sevika can feel her own need growing by the second but she refuses to rush you, her own cunt gushing with every little move you make. The way you whimper when she finally pushes two of her thick fingers into you is driving her absolutely wild, moaning with you against your pussy as she finds herself humping mindlessly at the scrunched blanket between her own legs.

"There you go, pretty girl...so fuckin' tight" "Taste so fuckin' good, baby.."

Every word she speaks is caught between her own stifled grunts and heavy breathing, her impatience becoming clear in the way she begins pumping her fingers ruthlessly in and out of you, audible sloshing and sucking sounds only drowned out only by your increasingly loud, untamable moaning.

Every muscle in your body seems to tense as you near your peak, back arching up off of the bed as you try to warn her you're close

"Sev, Sev....I'm g'na - fuck, I'm so close"

Sevika just groans in response, her fingers curling upward inside of you with each pump, triggering a wave of all consuming pleasure to course through your body. You've touched yourself before, but not a single one of your solo sessions could compare to the blinding euphoric feeling that rips its way through your body. Your fingers curl harder into her hair, accidentally tugging off the elastic that usually keeps Sevika's hair in place as you grind yourself agsint her tongue.

Her hands keep a firm grip on your thighs as you ride out your orgasm, only detatching her lips from your body when you begin attempting to pull back from overstimulation. A dopey grin is spread across her wet lips when she looks up at you - a rare sight to most, the small gap in her front teeth on full display.

"You did so good...so fuckin' good for me" Sevika murmurs, not bothering to wipe her mouth when she leans down and crashes her lips into your own parted ones, your breathing still short and heavy.

With how she's repositioned herself on top of you, her core hovering just above you thigh, you can feel just how wet she's gotten without even having been touched yet, the dark hair of her bush grazing against your skin and leaving a cool, dewy trail on your leg.

"What....what about you?" You ask, to which Sevika snorts, this time, purposefully lowering herself a bit more to let you feel just how drenched she truly is, as if wanting you to know that it's your fault her body is reacting this way.

"I never said I was done with you, did I?"

Reblogs are appreciated <3 || Taglist: @archangeldyke-all, @delinthecut, @half-of-a-gay, @porcelainmystery, @glass-apothecary, @cobraisveryhorny

[strwberri-milk]

Hello!!! Hope you’re having a good day/night!

May I be so bold as to request a Diluc, Wanderer, and Neuvillette with a crush who is scared of marriage as a result of parental trauma. 🙃✨

How do you think they’d react?

you mean me - also dilucs is really long bc tbh i think hes the only one who might have a stronger opinion than the others lol

Diluc has never had an active model of what a happy marriage is but he knows his parents did have a happy marriage. His father spoke of his mother's memory fondly, his grief never weighing down the affection he had for his son. Diluc knows what love looks like from the love his father gave him, and the way his father honoured his mother's memory.

He definitely has always wanted to marry you since he fell in love with you, occasionally allowing himself to imagine what your wedding would look like. He talks to you about these ideas of his once in a while so you're aware that marriage is most definitely a goal of his. You try not to shoot his dreams down right away, nodding around and offering your opinions as well.

However, he does figure out that something's off and he asks you what's on your mind. You hesitate to tell him about your reservations, worried that you'd ruin his ideal future with you and that he'd leave you. It takes a lot of him reassuring you that things will be okay and he's just trying to understand you better.

When you tell him that you're not sure about marriage right now because of your family he apologises for making you uncomfortable. He reassures you that marriage doesn't need to happen right away - even if the two of you just entered a sort of common law relationship where you allowed him to call you his spouse without it being legal on paper that would make him just as happy. He offers that as a compromise - it allows you guys to do things as though you're married but you aren't legally bound to each other which allows you to leave easier than if the two of you are married.

He tells you you don't need to make a decision right away but it's something that could work out for the two of you. He really hopes that it's something you're okay with, willing not to be legally married to you if it means the two of you are socially married for the most part. He would never want to hold you hostage but if the two of you are going to spend the rest of your lives together it'd be nice to introduce you as his spouse when you're comfortable with it, regardless of your legal status.

Wanderer doesn't really care. He understands that marriage is a big deal to humans but as someone who's not really human and spends most of his time alone he doesn't fully understand the need for some people to be married. To him, as long as the two of you are devoted to each other and stay committed that's all that matters.

He'll listen to your concerns, brought about when you randomly asked him how he feels about marriage. You weren't sure what he'd say in response, knowing that he's got a pretty flippant attitude toward a lot of human experiences if he doesn't understand them. He just told you it's not something he cares much for but if you want to get married then he'd revisit it closer to when you actually want to have a wedding.

Neuvillete was under the assumption that you would want to get married. It's seen as the min goal for human relationships after all and he wants to give you the world. He'll ask you about it one day if you don't mention it after a while, other people around him asking when the two of you are going to get married.

You skirt around the topic for a bit, not sure how to tell him that you don't want to be married. You don't want him to think that it's anything he's done, elaborating to him as he listens to you paitiently. He understands that if that's how you feel then that's okay - he wants to be with you and human marriage not being on your horizon isn't going to be a deal breaker to him.

He might ask if you want to partake in any mating rituals that dragons have instead. They're not going to weigh as much on him since he hasn't exactly been spending too much time with other dragons as of late. It's just something that he thinks could be nice to do, and another way for the two of you to show commitment to each other.

[the-badger-mole]

Destined

Zuko hated the idea of destiny. It seemed that nothing he actually chose for himself really mattered. Did anyone ask if he wanted to be the Fire Lord to lead the country out of war? Did anyone care? No, it seemed they did not. When he tried to talk to his uncle, he got nowhere. Iroh empathized with his nephew-of course he did- but it was not his destiny to lead the Fire Nation. No, his destiny was a tea shop where he could make small talk with his regulars.

Bitterness got him nowhere, though. Zuko realized that on one level. On another level, he wasn't even twenty yet, and he was already finding grey hairs from the stress. He loved his country. He loved it enough to shudder at the idea of the power vacuum that would form if he should ever abdicate. The throne, he'd realized long ago, was his destiny. Sometimes, destiny felt like a shackle.

Katara felt like a prisoner. She loved Aang. Of course she loved him. She wouldn't be here if she didn't. He'd chosen the Southern Air Temple as their home, and she'd loved being introduced to his culture. Truly she had. But Katara also wished that Aang would be more open to incorporating more of her culture, too. It wasn't like everything the in the Southern Water Tribe had to do with bringing animal products into the home. Katara had given up her warm furs and hearty stews. For the most part. She still partook whenever she was home, which was oftener than Aang liked, but not enough for Katara. She felt like a foreigner in the wide halls of the air temple. Especially since the Acolytes had taken residence.

The Acolytes were a particularly sore point for Katara. The way they fawned over Aang hit the back of her mouth like a bitter melon and made her jaw clench. Aang swore up and down that she didn't need to feel intimidated by them. That once she'd gotten used to the way things worked around the air temple, she would feel much better. And she would get used to it. She had to. It was her destiny to be with Aang forever. He was the the powerful bender she was supposed to end up with. That's what Aang kept reminding her when she brought up how uncomfortable his relationship with some of the Acolytes made her. That's what he said when he failed to stop them from making comments about her being the Avatar's First Girlfriend, or from sticking their noses into her business about the few Southern Tribe artifacts she kept in her own room. So what if they happened to be made of bits of animals? She wasn't going to get rid of the ram seal horn her father and brother painstakingly carved for her, or the fur parka her Gran Gran sewed for her no matter how many disapproving looks she got over them.

"We'll figure it out," Aang often told her. "You and me are destined, so it has to work out."

Destiny felt like a weight. Duty more than inclination steered the ship, but maybe the ship would be better dashed against the rocks and sunk to the ocean floor.

It was completely by accident that they discovered they felt the same way about destiny. Zuko had been looking for a place to hide from the foreign diplomats attempting to corner him into discussions he was far too overwhelmed, and they far too many drinks in to discuss at the opening banquet of the sixth annual Summit. He found Katara had not only discovered his favorite hiding place, but had set up camp with an assortment of grilled meats on a stick- a Fire Nation specialty that had until Zuko's reign been more popular among the populace than the upper class.

"Sorry," Zuko said, already backing out of the secluded balcony.

"For what?" Katara asked. "This is your home. You have more a right to be here than I do." She had a point, Zuko had to admit. Not out loud, but still.

"I didn't mean to disturb you," he told Katara.

"You haven't," she assured him. She gestured to her meal with a rueful smile. "I just didn't want Aang shaking his head at me while I ate. I don't mind having company... Or would you rather not have company?"

"I didn't really want company," Zuko admitted. "Not of most people here. But I wouldn't mind yours." Katara smiled and slid her plate towards him.

"I'm not going to be able to finish all of this on my own," she told him. "My eyes were bigger than my stomach this time." Zuko took a skewer awkwardly and sat beside Katara.

"Is Aang really that bad that you have to eat meat in secret?" he asked half-joking. Katara rolled her eyes.

"Killing animals just to eat is wrong!" she mimicked his preaching tone. "How would you feel if it was Appa or Momo you were being served?"

"Sorry I asked," Zuko chuckled. "I won't tell about your secret meal if you don't tell that I'm hiding from King Kuei."

"Well, he is very intimidating," Katara chuckled.

"You laugh," Zuko said dryly. "Have you ever been cornered by him? The guy can never just get to the point. He has to talk around the issue in circles until I want to scream at him to just spit it out. But I can't do that because I'm the Fire Lord." Zuko scowled off into the distance and took an aggressive bite out of his skewer.

"If it helps," Katara said hesitantly. She cleared her throat. "If it helps, I think you're doing an amazing job."

"Yeah?" Zuko smirked at her. "Glad someone thinks so."

"I'm sure a lot of people think so," Katara insisted. She turned towards him and held his gaze. "Zuko, you're doing an amazing job as Fire Lord. I'm glad it's you who ended up on the throne."

"I know, I know," Zuko scoffed. "It's my destiny."

"No," Katara said slowly. "I think...I think it's more than destiny. I think you were the right person for the job because you chose to be."

"Is that what you think?" Zuko asked, raising his brow at her. Katara nodded firmly.

"What is destiny, anyway?" she asked. She sounded strangely emotional. Zuko eyed her worriedly. Katara held a skewer in a grip so tight, Zuko was worried the stick would snap. But she took a breath and found a wavery smile.

"I think what makes you such a great Fire Lord is the fact that you care," she said. "Maybe it was your destiny to lead the Fire Nation, but it's who you are that makes you so good at it."

"You think so?" Zuko asked. Katara nodded firmly.

"Just because you're destined for something doesn't necessarily mean it's supposed to be something good. I think..." Katara frowned and thought for a moment. "I think maybe someone's destiny isn't supposed to be good. After all, it seems like Ozai was destined to be Fire Lord. At least for a little while. Even the war must have been destined. So if destiny can be good or bad, then maybe it's up to us to decide which it's going to be."

Zuko had the distinct feeling that Katara wasn't just talking about his destiny as Fire Lord. This felt more personal. This felt like a moment for him to say something profound. He had nothing.

"Not everything is destiny," he tried, hoping that he could help her with whatever it was that had made her so morose.

"How do you know which is which, then?" Katara asked. Zuko shrugged. He leaned back against the wall and looked up at the stars.

"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe...maybe trying to identify destiny is a mistake. Maybe...it's more important to try to do what's right. Even when it's hard."

"But how do I know what's right?" Katara huffed, and leaned back against the wall beside Zuko.

"i don't really know." Zuko chewed his lip pensively. "When Uncle told me he wouldn't take the throne, I thought it was a huge mistake. I thought he was the best fit for it. After all, of the two of us, he was actually groomed for the part. But after I took the throne....? I don't know...It didn't feel right immediately. It still doesn't feel right to me sometimes, but I did it. At the time, I resented uncle for not at least taking the throne until I was of age, but now that I've been Fire Lord for a few years, I get it. Uncle...he is a good man, but he did some terrible things. He's tried to make up for it, but it was never going to be enough. Not enough to expect everyone to be comfortable with him on the throne. I get it now. I think me taking the throne was the right thing to do. It has been hard. It's been lonely, too. But it was the best call either of us could make.

"But you didn't know it was right when you did it," Katara pointed out.

"No," Zuko tapped his finger thoughtfully on the flagstone. "I don't think I was completely sure that I was the best fit for Fire Lord. I still think Uncle would've been the better choice, history aside. I think there are a lot of much smarter people who probably deserve to be here instead of me. But I also know that there wasn't anyone who had a shot at taking the throne who would care about reparations to the other countries, or about rebuilding for the lower classes. I love my people, Katara, and I think...I think that helped me figure out what I needed to do, even if I don't always like it. I almost never like it."

Katara blinked hard against the tears that had suddenly sprang up in her eyes. She reached out for his and squeezed it tight. She knew how hard leading was for Zuko at times. He did it gracefully, though. He did it fairly, and she could see the progress the Fire Nation had made under him. It wasn't perfect by any means, but it was substantial. If only she could feel that, at least. If only her destiny could make her feel half so accomplished.

"I wish I didn't know what my destiny was," she sighed. "Maybe if I felt like I had even as much choice as you have, I'd feel better." Zuko shot her a strange look. He had so many questions, but none of them felt appropriate. Instead he sighed and scooted closer to Katara.

"Maybe you need to focus less on what you think your destiny is and focus more on what you feel is right," he said. "I know you. Your sense of right and wrong is...well, it's unshakeable. I trust your judgement, even if you don't. If you were making the right choices, you wouldn't feel this conflicted. Even if your choice made you uncomfortable, if you thought it was the right one...well, you wouldn't be on a balcony alone eating secret yakitori." Zuko held up a skewer and waved it at Katara. She laughed and pushed his hand away.

"What if I make a choice and it's the wrong one?" Katara asked.

"I don't see that happening," Zuko said, grinning at her. "But even if you do make a mistake, I think you're smart enough to fix it. I'd help you, if you wanted. And so would Sokka and the Chief. So would all of us." Katara flinched at that. Zuko pretended not to notice.

"What would you do if you didn't know your destiny?" he asked. Katara sat quietly for a long while, looking thoughtfully across the garden below. She absently ran her thumb over Zuko's fingers.

"I think ...I think I'd like to go back to the Northern Tribe," she said. "To finish learning healing from Yugoda. Then I'd like to go the Foggy Swamp and learn swampbending. Then I'd like to find every copy of Southern style bending scrolls I could get my hands on and learn that, too."

"Then you should!" Zuko insisted. "Do that. I'll help when I can. My grandfather kept things from every nation he could. I'm having everything organized and sent back to where they came from. I'm working on the Earth Kingdom now, but I don't have anyone to help sort through all the Water Tribe artifacts. The job is yours, if you want it.

"Are you serious?" Katara gasped. Zuko nodded with a grin.

"I was planning to ask your father to recommend someone soon," he told Katara. "Maybe it's your destiny to do that, for whatever it's worth. I mean, it's an important job, but it's not a long one. Maybe six months to a year. But maybe it'll give you a chance to think about what you want. What you think it the right thing for you to do."

Katara considered his offer for a moment. Her initial reaction was to insist that she couldn't do that. That Aang needed her. But she bit her tongue and thought. What did Aang need her for? She cooked his meals, kept the Air Temple tidy, and kept his diary for him. It was important to keep the Avatar on task, but was it right? Was it right for her?

Soon, all the points in favor of it presented themselves. Sure keeping the Avatar on track was important, but reclaiming all of the Southern style bending she could? Learning everything she could about waterbending? The thought made her heart ache with a longing she'd almost forgotten how to feel. If Aang really was her destiny, he'd understand why she wanted to do this. After all, he was also working to reclaim Air Nomad culture.

It was tempting.

It was tempting.

It was...

"I think..." Katara said slowly. She cleared her throat again and turned to Zuko. "I think I'll do that."

"Really?" Zuko's face lit up.

"Really," Katara said, nodding once sharply. Then she smirked at Zuko. "You're going to get sick of having me around."

"Never that," he swore. "Never, ever that."

[cheri-2047]

I have a request for, Zhongli Neuvillette and Ayato so they are forced to marry a reader, who looks a mess like their appearance and they aren't really into them. I hope I explained it properly it's hard for me at times and I got the idea when I saw some mobile game ad.

i think I know this ad LMAO, sure !! I’ll make it headcanons though cause those have been easier for me to write lately. thank you for the request!

Arranged Marriage (Zhongli , Neuvillette, Ayato)

SCENARIO: Your parents somehow got to get you an arranged marriage with these men. You grew up in a rich family, but due to a bad decision, your father’s company ended up going bankrupt. Suddenly, your mom just told you to get into the car and drove off, not knowing where you were going.

MENTIONS OF: Furina, Thoma, Ayaka

NEUVILLETTE:

When you enter the court (please tell me where he works guys in the comments, I forgot what it’s called), that’s when you realized.

“shit.”

This is the first time you’ve actually SEEN him. You felt embarrassed because your mother didn’t even let you change out of a decent pair of clothing or even fix your hair.

you quickly tried to change your appearance as much as you could. But when the Melisune opened the door, that’s when you panicked.

Neuvillette was…shocked. He was shocked to see you in a state but he didn’t show it. “Ah..I suppose you’re y/n?”

“yes… I apologize for my appearance, My mother pulled me out of my room and just forced me to leave without a word haha…” you were nervous as hell.

”I see. Nice to meet you.” He stands up and walks over to you, shaking your hand.

”I’d like to go over the terms of our marriage, nothing official just what we both are comfortable with.” Even with your messy appearance, he still treated you with grace and kindness

he asked the melusine to give you some tea, and now you Two were left alone.

”Well…I understand if you don’t want to do this at all, so during our relationship, I will not require you to be affectionate towards me.”

He sat in a chair nearby and he held your hand. “If there’s anything I am doing, or will do that makes you uncomfortable, please do not hesitate to tell me.”

“If you need anything, just say the word and I’ll have to for you.”

“if you would have…other affairs, since were not actually in love…I’m okay with it. Just be careful to not show it in public.” He understands that this is a forced marriage for you, so he tries to still let you have a normal life.

“ah no it’s okay, I’m not interested in anyone at the moment, but I…I would like to try to get this- us to work.” You smiled, and Neuvillette was touched by that.

During your marriage, you lived with him. He wasn’t extremely close to you but you could tell he was trying. On the first night you two slept beside each other but on the next one if you were uncomfy, he arranged another room for you in his mansion.

He lets you do anything really, if you want to work go ahead but if you just want to stay home that’s okay too.

Overall, he grew to like you. And the marriage was like a real thing.

Since he wouldn’t be home often, he apologizes by sending you gifts. When he notices you’re lonely, furina actually lets him have a day off.

as for affection, at most he would kiss you on the forehead or cuddle you close. He won’t force you to kiss him on the lips (since he doesn’t want to intrude on anything) so you’d have to initiate those <3

AYATO:

When you saw your car drop in front of the kamisato, that’s when you realized.

You tried to fix your appearance, tying your hair up with a desperate attempt to look more elegant.

thoma welcomed you, not gonna lie he noticed how you shuffled your clothes a lot and before taking you to ayato, he let you in a separate room.

”I don’t mean to be rude, but I noticed the way you shuffled with your clothes” he chuckled, handing you an old dress that ayaka owned, (since it didn’t fit her)

he let you changed and once you did, he brought you to ayato.

Ayato welcomed you and thoma left the room. He motioned for you to sit in front of him.

”nice to meet you” he smiled and bowed (iirc in japan they bow as a sign of respect/greeting? Please correct me if I’m wrong!)

you did the same. It was awkward for awhile until he spoke.

”I am sure you’re aware of what’s about to happen correct?” You nod. “I want to try to make this work” he said, looking straight at you.

”if… if we don’t work out that’s alright, but I’d like to know you more.” He smiled as you nodded.

”me too, I’m glad we’re on the same page” you smiled.

you two talked about your own interests, but now you had a problem.

its not that he hated you or judged you, but there are times it’s dead silent. for now he passes it off since you both are new to each other.

”well, I will have thoma show you your room and ah- no more need for formalities it’s okay”

After the marriage you move in together and though it’s still awkward, you two actually end up becoming close.

At some point, during the night when he’s working late, he actually started seeking comfort from you.

sometimes he would visit your room, if you were asleep he would sit beside you on the bed and tuck you in nicely after

or if you’re awake, you (aside from ayaka sometimes) are one of the only few who actually gets him to go to bed.

you sleep in separate rooms but one day he offers for you to sleep with him.

overall, this marriage was a success. Sometimes he’s busy but you take note of it and if he notices you’re lonely, he would invite you over to his room while he works/signs papers and he talks to you.

as for affection, he appreciates if you give him hugs but there are times (mostly when you’re away for a long period of time) when he tilts your chin up and goes “may I?” Before pressing a kiss to your lips

Sorry if I mischaracterized this, I haven’t done the inazuma quest and idk much about him !

ZHONGLI:

to your surprise, when you almost stopped in a mansion, you saw him standing outside waiting for you.

and that’s when you started to realize.

the moment you got out of the car, you fixed your dress. He was quite welcoming actually.

he welcomed you to his home and set you on the couch. He actually didn’t mind much your appearance.

he sat in front of you and smiled. “Nice to meet you” he handed you a cup of tea before you two got started.

he saw you uncomfortable shuffling around your clothes. “Are you alright? Is something wrong?”

”no no! Just fixing myself a bit, sorry” he wondered why you seemed so tense about your appearance.

”I do not care about such matters if that’s what you’re thinking” he reassured you.

”now..as for this marriage, I do not want you to feel forced. I will allow anything you’d like, if you’d have other affairs, I am okay with that.” He really just wants you to be comfy is all, especially since this was forced.

”however… I would like to get to know you more” and just like that a few months after the marriage, you two actually clicked.

often at night he’d sleep beside you, in the mornings he makes you both tea.

He’d be very respectful with boundaries and he appreciates when you respect his as well.

for dates he loves bringing you to gardens for a picnic or relaxing lakes, somewhere with nature. he hugs you a lot and kisses on your forehead. If you want a kiss on his lips, he will gladly say yes anytime of the day

A/N: OKAY. I loved writing this, I enjoyed Neuvillette and Ayato’s part, I kinda lost ideas for zhongli but THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT. Anyways thank you for requesting, I only have… 2-3 requests left until I can open them again ! I love how thoma would also be a gentleman to you idk I think he’s pretty cool this wasn’t proofread and comments are appreciated !! (Drop by for a tip, or if I mischaracyerized them or just say hi!)

[pockybeagle]

I've got this in my head, and I just want to get it out because if I keep going over it, it'll turn into a fic, and I don't want it to. It's just a phone dialogue, based more or less in the present time, where Alex calls Miles to ask him something:

‘Do you know Ao3?’

‘Conversations start with a hello, Alex,’ Miles replies, with an amused snort. ‘But- yeah, it's kind of like fanfiction and wattpad, isn't it?’

‘What the fuck is wattpad?’ was Alex's reply, which made Miles click his tongue.

"It's like fanfiction and ao3- it's- fuck- it's like- remember that time we found a story where a fan had written that you and her met and fucked? Well, they're all used for the same thing. I mean, not to write things about you fucking fans, but people use them to write their own versions of stories they like, or series, or actors or-"

‘They wrote that we fuck!’ exclaimed Alex, shocked, and all he got in response was a consensual silence, almost as if Miles had stopped breathing. ‘Did you know about this?’

‘Um, yeah, something-something I knew,’ Miles replied, slightly uncomfortable.

‘And why didn't you ever mention it?’ practically shrieked Alex into the phone's microphone, making Miles' eardrums ache. "There's a lot of people who are convinced that we fucked and-!

"Well, Alex, I think we encouraged that rumour quite a bit, don't you? Do a little mea culpa,’ Miles said, with a snort. Alex, again, shrieked.

'It was a fucking publicity stunt, Miles, and yes, the idea was to create that buzz but - but not this, Miles. There are hundreds of stories where- have you read any of this?’ he asked suddenly, in a slightly accusatory tone. Miles felt his cheeks burn.

‘Some things, just out of curiosity,’ he replied, and went ahead to clarify before Alex shrieked again. "I wanted to know if people wrote things about me, yeah? But no, there's a lot of fics about you fucking fans but of me- there's only fics of me fucking with you,’ he said, with a snort that was a mixture of indignation and amusement. ‘I should be the more annoyed of the two of us, at least some of my fans should be fantasizing about fucking me,’ he protested, though he let out a laugh at the same time. Alex must not have found any of it funny.

‘Your fucking fans fantasise about you busting my ass!’ he protested, scandalised, and his almost sanctimonious tone (Miles knew Alex wasn't exactly a prude), made him let out a laugh. ‘Don't laugh you fucking pervert! Why the fuck are them writing this? And why are you always the one who-?’

‘Not always,’ Miles interrupted him, with a playful tone that was meant to relax him, but he must have guessed that Alex was in no mood for laughter.

‘You seem to know too much about this!’ he accused him again.

‘I did my research,’ he replied, guilelessly, even if his cheeks still burned slightly. Alex, on the other end of the line, stood for a long moment in silence.

The silence became too long, so long that Miles began to feel slightly worried.

‘Are you really as good at fucking as they imply in these stories?’ asked Alex finally, always acting completely unexpected, even to Miles who had known him for so many years.

‘I'm indognated by that question, Alex,’ he replied, falsely indignant. ‘Obviously, those stories don't do me justice,’ he had expected a witty or mocking comment in response, instead, all he heard was Alex passing his saliva heavily, he could almost visualise in his eyes his Adam's apple lowering. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘Curiosity,’ Alex said, in an all-too-innocent thread of a voice. Alex only sounded innocent when he was guilty.

‘Would you like to-know if it's true?’ asked Miles, taking a too-risky leap he'd been avoiding taking for many, many years but-why the fuck had Alex called him? That fucker never did anything if he didn't have a plan behind it.

‘I know, you just told me,’ was the terse reply. ‘I just wanted to know if you were aware of this, and I see that you are and I'm outraged that you're not outraged,’ he added, resuming his annoyance. Miles clicked his tongue.

‘Oh, Alex, it's almost a compliment,’ Alex's response was a snort that surely summed up several insults. ‘In any case, the proposal still stands,’ Miles repeated, not knowing where the courage to insist came from. Maybe it was the beer he was drinking.

'Proposal?'

‘Yes, if you ever want to know if those stories are similar to reality or not - I could show you,’ Miles replied, also using the tactic of sounding too innocent and casual.

‘Those stories have filled your head with absurd ideas,’ Alex said, snorting. ‘It wouldn't be like that,’ he added, pointing out the absurdity. "They're fantasies, reality is always different. It's like porn and-"

‘It would be fucking better,’ again, silence. ‘I'm sure it would,’ he added, incredulous at his own audacity.

‘You're cocky,’ Alex said with a nervous chuckle, Miles clicked his tongue.

‘Confidence isn't being cocky,’ he replied. ‘We could-’

‘I gotta go, Miles, I'm busy,’ Miles must have expected that, maybe that's why Alex's escape wasn't a surprise.

‘Yeah, sure - keep enjoying your - reading,’ he said, and it was he who hung up the phone, not waiting for an answer.

Alex was going to call back, Miles had known him for twenty years, and he didn't know how he'd gotten into his best friend's head - but once Alex had something on his mind he was unable to get it out of his head until he got it.

And at that moment, that something was Miles. It was a sudden surprise but - fuck, that was his lucky day, wasn't it?

At midnight, Miles was sitting on the couch at home, drinking a beer and watching an unwatched TV show. It was just as the clock struck 00 that his phone rang and he smiled, knowing he had just won a fight he never fought.

‘Hi Alex,’ and just like that, that's how it all started.

[dearweirdme]

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[sonknuxadow]

why is literally everyone on my sonic tomodachi life island in love with shadow as if theres not other people to choose from and hes not gonna reject them every time . stop creating a love spiderweb with some guy whos not even interested in you

[sharp-tooths]

Me watching the og Trigun anime after starting trigun stampede 2 moths ago: oh gee those fucking cries sound so realistic and full of pain and hurt. You just dont get that kind of genuine quality very much in newer animes. I hope Stampede delivers the same quality

Me now, having just watched episode 11 and then rewatched it just to propperly process everything: SCREAMING AND CRYING THROWING UP KICKING MY LEGS SOBBING FUCKING BAWLING MY EYES OUT DYING VIOLENTLY SHAKING-

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i have classes again! (i do not know if this is good or not yet) so i will not be able to draw as often. that or i will be drawing extra as a way to procrastinate working on assignments

[tunnels-end]

sorry. guess I'm blogging trans drama now. But I still don't know what a baeddel is and at this point I really just don't super care

[july-19th-club]

one thing about getting sick for me is that before covid (the first time) my colds and flus and whatnot all went in a very specific pattern: i would get a sore throat for a day or two, then violently congested for three or four days, then a runny nose/drainage for three or four days after that, and finally a cough, which was my favorite part of the cold (if a person can be said to have a favorite part of a cold) because it meant it was almost over AND that the problem was largely not in my face and neck anymore. but any illness i've had since that first covid has been all over the map - either i don't get the sore throat at all, just straight into the congestion, or the sore throat happens at a different time, or longer, or worse, or i have to spit a lot because otherwise i get so nauseous from sinus drainage that i throw up, or the congestion and the runny nose happen concurrently with not just each other but ALSO the sore throat (which is what's happening right now and i hate it) and like. because it doesn't follow the pattern i spent twenty-six years of my life getting used to, i'm always freaked out. which i would be anyway because ever since i had the first covid getting sick freaks me out. and it should freak more people out if im being honest. but this is a weird one bc like. i dont know how it did that but it disrupted MY trusty sick pattern

[neverendingford]

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[eri-blogs-life]

Been a bit since i posted a selfie. Have girls & curls

Til there's a limit to how many tags you can have on a single post. I guess that makes sense but how am i to ramble in the tags now with only 30 tags???

[tardis--dreams]

I think it says nothing about me that 98% of my favorite characters are the ones who absolutely do not trust anyone, always consider how bad people can be, rather than how good they can be. The ones who cannot read social cues well, and for whom intimacy, trust, and being comfortable around people is a foreign concept. The ones with childhood trauma who learned to adapt to a world where nothing could be considered to be save and no one could be considered to be trustworthy. The ones who never show their true emotions but if they do they do so violently breaking down. The ones who get treated as outcasts and have accepted this role.

But like i said. That says nothing about me as a person

[earlgreybocchan]

Animating this season like you can't have the slightest bit of jest and god forbid jesting about yaoi