#the fact that they also literally completely dismiss me whenever i try and talk about sh (after ive asked if i could because we are close) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yesimwriting · 3 years

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Hi!!! I was wondering if you could do like a short story post or something I wonder how Our General Kirigan would react to a shy reader? Would he tease her? Be frustrated with her? And how would she react? Idk maybe just a thought 😅 I asked you because i really like your writing and I feel like you would really do a good job and I like the way you portray the General. 😊

a/n i have been crying/feeling shitty for the past two days for no reason!! so i thought it might make me feel better to try writing headcanons! i have SO MANY half done requests/fics but as of recently i hate everything that i write!! so i thought i'd work on this request that lends itself to headcanons

also im glad you like my writing :))

General Kirigan with a shy! reader headcanons:

- First things first, I think how he interacts with someone shy that he sees as a (potential) romantic interest varies per situation. Like generally, he finds the timidness kind of soft which is so different from what he's used to that he finds that aspect kind of endearing.

- He'd never admit that at the beginning, but the more time you spend with him the clearer it becomes to you because of how he acts when you're alone together

- At first, he'd hold onto his usual stoic disposition, but after realizing that at the end of the day your shyness is genuine and not an attempt to seem meek in order to trick people/him he'd begin to tease you about it when you two are alone.

- The first time he makes a comment that's just a little,, kinda-almost suggestive (a comment about how he wonders what it'd be like to be a Heartrender so that he could hear the change in your heartbeat every time you shied away from something) you're too confused to be embarrassed for like two seconds.

- You're basically that meme that's like did I hear that shit righttt??

- So you meet his gaze, and there's absolutely nothing but warm confidence there and you realize that he had in fact,,, said that.

- You hold his gaze for a moment out of protest (which is an incredible feat) and then you have to drop your eyes to the floor. You mumble some comment about how his ability to summon shadows isn't exactly a boring skill.

- Your reaction is so soft,, Kirigan can't help but be endeared even further. Something he wasn't exactly expecting and isn't too thrilled about. He doesn't think being shy makes you weak,, but he's extremely wary about how you're perceived and how people may treat you because of it.

- He doesn't doubt his ability to protect you, but he doesn't want to be distracted,, not with all he has to do.

- Still, he can't help mumble comments whenever there's a brief pause and you two are alone

- Meanwhile, you're starting to notice that now more situations keep coming up when you're left alone with Kirigan?? like he's always in the library when you are, he's always walking in to assess training when you're training and he just so happens to linger until you leave and then he just so happens needs to walk in the same hallway.

- It's a little strange at first,, but you're more horrified by the fact that you're not mad about it than the fact that it's happening. Especially since you know how much joy he gets from getting you flustered. You can see that in that slightly cocky uptilt to his lips whenever you're left gaping at him.

- Why doesn't it bother you?? You try to rationalize it and the only conclusion you can come to is the fact that he's attractive and powerful and even though your face gets hot whenever he talks to you,, there's appeal in those qualities. There's appeal in getting the infamous General to smile.

- Even if it costs you the bit of pride you have.

- You don't get why you're the one he seems to be going out of his way to speak to (maybe when your life is as stressful as his is,, at the end of the day you just want something easy and if he's in the mood to be flirty, you're easy) but you're not mad. You just have to constantly remind yourself to not be foolish enough to think you're the only one he goes out of his way to talk to.

- And as time progresses, you get a little more comfortable with his banter. You stop shying away completely,, which only encourages him to get bolder with his comments.

- Nothing insane,, not yet, just a little more direct.

- It kind of becomes a little game to him,, to see how flustered he can get you with the minimal amount of effort. Every once in awhile, you manage to act normally, but he's quick to shut that down by upping his game just slightly.

- After awhile, it starts to become a game for you too, to see how much of your instincts you can suppress just to take away some of his satisfaction. Only when he's getting a little too smug.

- But that's when y'all are alone...

- When you're surrounded by others, sometimes it feels like you don't even exist to each other. Sometimes that's a lonely feeling for both of you, but each of you is convinced that they're the only one that feels the absence.

- In your defense, you're much more entitled to those feelings because he can literally do whatever he wants. You can't just walk up to the General and do what?? ask him why he hasn't made any suggestive comment in the last couple of hours??

- please that embarrassing!! even if you weren't shy, that would be out of POCKET

- Meanwhile Kirigan is just like being angsty and debating the implications of seeking you out in an environment with so many important people. He could probably manage a minute or two by your side without making anyone suspicious, but the danger in that is that he won't be able to bring himself to leave after those minutes pass him.

- Worse,, he may even find an excuse for both of you to step out into the hall so that he can make his comments and take in your reactions in private.

- It's especially difficult when you have that one strand of hair just slightly out of place,, presenting the perfect excuse for him to just fix it and then drop his hand slowly so that his fingertips can brush the side of your cheek.

- And you're growing tired of the crowds of people you're not comfortable with and you're starting to feel more and more stupid for letting something that was so clearly just a playful distraction mean anything to you.

- But before either of you can succumb to your angsty pinning (cough, cough,, simps) his eyes will find yours from across the room and that's EVERYTHING

- At first, you want to be stiff and look away because it's probably not intentional, but then he gives you that little smirk. And then you feel stupid for ever doubting that you two at least have some kind of friendship. (maybe more,, but you're too scared to let yourself think that,, ;))

- And then you give him this shy smile,, and that's it. He's done--that one look undoes him entirely.

- So he starts shifting towards you as casually as possible, because if he can't be with you right now, surely being near you is good enough for now.

- You're unaware of this,, and when the moment ends you find yourself longing for more, but relatively satisfied. You don't expect anything from him, he's important and you're you.

- And being around people drains you because you genuinely want to stay out of any situation that would have too much attention on you at once. So once Kirigan moves and you can't find him in the crowd, you decide now is as good a time as any to step out and get some air, especially since no one currently needs you for anything.

- So you disappear into the corridor, planning to be gone only for a few minutes. But the second you're about two steps into the hallway, you hear another's footsteps.

- The hopeful part of you is like 'maybe it's him!!' but you don't really think that. There's something about the atmosphere that feels too tense,, too wrong for you to believe it's him.

- A moment later, your suspicions are confirmed. A grisha known for his impulsiveness is calling out to you, asking you where you're going.

- You explain that you just wanted to get some air and that you'd be returning in a minute. You try to sound dismissive, clearly establishing that you'd like your minute to yourself.

- It's clear that he understands the hint, but he doesn't move. He just keeps asking you questions.

- Your answers get shorter and shorter, the nerves your feeling tensing with each word as he begins to venture from falsely casual conversation to more flirtatious words. Being shy can leave you speaking too much, spluttering out words in hopes of saying the right thing to let you escape, but this is a different type of nervousness. Something feels wrong.

- And he just keeps saying things, things that even Kirigan wouldn't be able to get away with.

- All the while, you're desperate to escape, but they're persistent.

- And just when you're losing hope, and his advances get so bold he has you literally backed into a corner--a familiar voice comes to you like a lifeline.

- Kirigan, with all the authority of the general, questions what's going on. The guy that was so relentlessly hitting on you moves back like suddenly you're fire and begins to back away. He tries to explain himself but Kirigan is not having it.

- As soon as the stranger leaves, you feel like you can breathe again, but your nerves are still on edge. Kirigan's looking at you in a way you've never seen before. Sharp and almost--almost angry?

- You try to mumble a quick thanks, intending to disappear back to where you're supposed to be, but Kirigan's gaze keeps you planted against the wall.

- His gaze is so intense you ask him if he's alright.

- The question cracks something in him because of course you'd ask him if he's okay after something happened to you. His expression softens slightly, which you think is a good thing but then he speaks,, and his voice is not calm at all

- He's mad at the person that did that and the irrational part of him makes it seem like he's a little mad at you for letting that situation happen, but it's only because he's worried about what would have happened if he hadn't gotten there in time.

- And you're kind of confused because like?? what does he want from you? you made it clear you were uncomfortable and you were trying to get away?

- But after a quick snap and the fact that you're okay settles in,, he does feel a little bad. So he comes close to apologizing,, but that's basically just him saying he's glad that you're okay.

- You don't really ease, so he decides to make a partial joke about how maybe he needs to be around you more,, just to be safe,, you know

- And you smile slightly, and you're like 'y'know i'm not completely helpless.'

- and he's like 'pity,, i would've liked the excuse'

- your face instantly feels extremely warm and you're not sure what you could even, plausibly say to that. But you can't let him have the last word,, not like that. So you're overcompensating, rambling, but then at the end...you say something about how he doesn't really need an excuse to stay near you.

- When you realize what you've said, fight or flight kicks in,, but you can't move. And there's no casual way to escape, so you decide that maybe you'll cut your losses for today because that might have been your most significant reply to him ever, and you feel like an idiot because he was probably joking. And you just had to say that and make it weird.

- So you allow exactly one second of unfortunate silence, your eyes glued to the ground. And then you make some excuse about needing to get back to where you were.

- But Kirigan stops you, and you think about how you can't avoid looking him in the eyes forever, so you just kind of barely dare to glance upwards.

- And he's smiling broader than usual, the look is so warm it melts away all the bad feelings from earlier. You have absolutely no idea what it means, but you know it's not...bad.

- And then he shifts slightly, and that's when you realize he's never been this close before.

- He then asks if you're sure, voice much lower than earlier.

- You can't speak,, too trapped on a line you don't understand.

- But as he leans forward, the only answer he needs is the instinctual part of your lips as his warm breath reaches your cheek.

- And with that he turns his head just a fraction of an inch,, and his lips meet yours.

- It's just a quick brush of lips,, a soft test. And when you don't protest, he moves to let the contact be a little more assured, yet still teasing.

- Something in you grows impatient, and you move a little in hopes that he'll take the hint.

- But that's all it takes for him to pull away, expression bright and teasing before playfully chiding you for being so eager.

- He then turns, leaving you more flustered than ever.

#request #the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling x you #aleksander morovoza #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morovoza x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x you #netflix shadow and bone #sab #sab imagine

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shuahoonie · 4 years

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out of love [tom holland]

PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader

SUMMARY: being close friends with your ex is fine, right? even if your love for them was unparalleled among others. even if you were still in the process of moving on from them. even if you know they’re happy with someone else. even if you have no clue whether they loved you like you loved them.

WARNINGS: foul language, so much angst, it starts ok at first then goes downhill from there. i literally write things on the go so i don’t know if this will have fluff at some point

(if it does and i didn’t state it here, send me a cute photo of tom and a message of: ok wow she pulled thru 🤪; and if it doesn’t have fluff, send me a meme and a message of: miss girl i simply cannot today ✋😃)

WORD COUNT: 5.6k

A/N: hello! tonight, we are going to be sad!!! i know i usually like to write about all things fluff, but this?? this is just for me because i am having one of those episodes. i just need to feel something again aside from the stress of writing 3 academic papers per week lmao. i’m def not expecting people to like this type of vibe but yannoe. i apologize in advance.

this is inspired by that one episode from new girl (season 6 x ep 16)

gif credits: @thollandgifs

vanessa’s masterlist | taglist form | part two - pandemonium

“You know, you can still live with us right?” Your friend Maia commented as she placed the box, labelled “fine china that mom gave me but will i ever use them?”, on the kitchen island.

“I know,” You murmured dropping the heavy case of pots and pans on the floor. “But maybe living alone will be good for me.” You replied, forcing a smile. “Besides, I don’t want to int—“

“Hey, Y/N, where do you want this?” Harrison asked as he held out a box that’s labelled with “books that my grandpa passed on. HANDLE WITH CARE!”

“Oh, just set it down on the living room—“ before you could even finish, Harrison dropped the box on the floor as if it was nothing. “Harrison!” You hissed, as you quickly rushed to check on the box.

“Y/N, babe, they’re just books. Surely they can withstand any amount of pressure, yeah?” Haz tried to reassure you.

“Haz, those books are from my grandpa—which I’m sure he got from his grandpa.” You sighed. “They’re really old and fragile, so I just want them to be in a well enough condition to stand in my bookcase.”

“‘m sorry,” He murmured, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just, why do you have to move out?” Harrison asked, frustrated at the whole thing.

“Like I told Maia, maybe having my own place will be good for me.” You replied calmly, as you neatly put the box filled with your grandpa’s books in the corner room—the initial place where you want to build your bookcase. “It’s been a while since I’ve lived on my own.”

“Yeah,” Harrison acknowledged “But there’s absolutely no reason for you to move out. You can’t possibly leave me with her!” He pointed at Maia who let out an audible gasp. Harrison was being dramatic of course.

“Haz—“ You were trying to fight off a laugh. “You two are my constants and if I became dependant on having you two at my convenience, it’s going to be a huge problem.”

“In my opinion, I don’t see it as a problem.” Maia pointed out childishly. You shook your head in disbelief. You had to move out because you miss having a place to yourself— a place where you can be at your complete worst and you don’t have to think about your friends worrying about you.

Besides, moving out means you don’t have to see Tom that often and that was a bonus in your book. It wasn’t a sour breakup per se, it’s just really difficult to feel happy for your ex when he practically showcases how different he is now with his girlfriend.

You prided yourself as a mature and well-rounded person who could be complete friends with her ex as if that’s normal. You could only keep the façade for so long.

Four months. It’s been four months since you and Tom broke up. You lived with Maia soon after the breakup and that enough was a blessing. Maia couldn’t bear to handle the fact that you would be alone at a time like this. Harrison usually crashes at Maia’s so he was bound to move in with you two. In fact, he was always there more often than you.

That was the point where you were convinced that Harrison liked Maia and that Maia liked Harrison.

Conveniently, you and Tom never ‘officially’ moved in together so you could avoid him freely at all costs.

Of course, that was eventually going to end soon. You and Tom were in the same friend group so you were bound to see each other, much to your dismay. You couldn’t exactly make Harrison and Maia pick friends because it’s not fair for anyone.

You were all friends before you and Tom decided to date. Maybe that’s why people say to never date a friend—especially if they’re near and dear.

You were coming back from work when you found people in the living room, and as if the universe really wanted to test you, it was the least likely people you’d expect to see.

“Y/N!” Maia’s voice was pure panic. “I didn’t know you’d be home this early.”

Your eyes quickly flickered between the two people standing across you before you diverted your attention to Maia. “Uh—yeah. There wasn’t really much to do in the office so I came home early.”

Maia turned to Harrison who was equally lost on how to handle the situation. I mean, who wouldn’t?! What were you supposed to do when your friend drops in unannounced with their new girlfriend and to makes the matters worse, your other friend—whom your friend dated before— decides to come home early?

You didn’t know how what kind of spirit took over your body that prompted you to extend your hand to the girl sitting beside your ex and say: “Hello, I’m Y/N.”

The girl looked surprised but shook your hand in return. “Nadine,” Nadine smiled slyly “I—um, I’m Tom’s girlfriend.”

Tom looked mildly uncomfortable but you chose to ignore it. You were becoming good at that—ignoring Tom.

You returned the smile at Nadine. You could feel the burning stares from your friends, mostly Maia. You cleared your throat and said, “I’ll just be in my room to finish the papers I need to send to my editor if you’ll excuse me.”

Before you left completely, you gave Nadine another smile and said, “It’s nice to meet you again, Nadine.”

You don’t remember how you got to your room but that was the least of your concern. You were just undeniably overwhelmed with what just happened that you didn’t even notice that there was a knock on your door.

When you opened the door, it was the last person you expected to see standing in your doorframe.

“Can we talk?” Tom asked in almost a whisper.

You gave him a half shrug and opened the door slightly wider for him.

“We’re okay, right?” He asked, looking at you in the eye.

At this point, you convinced yourself that you were numb. You never talked about the breakup. You never overtly said anything about what you felt. You felt empty. You convinced yourself that you were empty.

You stared back at Tom and without missing a beat, you replied “Of course. Why shouldn’t we?”

“Just admit that you two will miss me,” You teased, grabbing another box from Maia.

“Only if you admit that you’re moving out for an entirely different reason,” Maia whispered carefully as her eyes flickered towards Tom who was also helping with your move out.

You pressed your lips together and acted like he wasn’t even there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said, you know, like a liar.

You weren’t a vocal person. The idea of talking about your feelings was really difficult for you so you try your best to avoid it. Actually, it’s worse than that. You’d go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation.

Obviously, it wasn’t healthy. You would always distance yourself whenever you feel emotionally exhausted, and you really meant that distance. It wasn’t bad at first—maybe a day or two was all you needed before you felt comfortable enough to be around people again.

Then it became worse when you were in university. You were beyond unreachable. Aside from being emotionally exhausted, you were mentally drained too. You were always buried with papers and readings which was unavoidable but it took a huge toll on you. So whenever you get a chance to get a break, you completely shut off from people.

Your friends definitely noticed it and they tried their best to help.

Tom was among the people who definitely went out of their way to help you. He would always drop by at your dorm with food or coffee—he would literally just drop them off, most of the time. He would leave small notes that up to this day, you still kept and tucked away in a box.

Both Maia and Harrison followed Tom’s approach. They would all alternate on who’s dropping what and when. Some days, Maia would drop off a new skincare product she’s been using or a lovely box of macarons from your favourite patisserie.

On other days, Harrison would drop off some of his home-cooked meals or maybe a book he saw from a local bookstore—a book that reminded him of you.

Tom was very persistent though. He would sometimes wait out on the hall, just so he could see you and reassure himself (and your friends) that you were okay.

You found it taxing at first—you would often try your best to match the energy from your friends, which only left you exhausted at the end of the day. You wanted space and you clearly weren’t getting that from Tom. You did acknowledge that he only did it out of pure concern.

You often wondered why he did that, staying, but you didn’t ask him. You never did.

Maybe you were afraid that you’d come off as rude or that you’d seem ungrateful for dismissing someone when they’ve clearly taken the time off their day just to check on you.

However, every time you’d open that door, it always seemed that Tom would breathe a huge sigh of relief when you lock eyes. Even if it was just for a quick second. You wondered about that too.

Tom wasn’t really being intrusive. Most of the time, he will leave a few minutes after you’d open the door to get the things your friends would drop off. You’d always ask him if he wants to stay inside for a bit, but he’d always decline.

Except for that one time, though. That one time that you knew you were going to fall in love.

It was the week of midterms and deadlines. You were knee-deep with papers from different classes that demanded to be finished that week, one of which was a research paper that practically tied you to your laptop and made you consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine.

It wasn’t until 2 am when you were about to go on a quick drive to a McDonald’s but saw Tom dozed off in the hallway, his back pressed against the wall.

“Tom,” You shook him gently, trying not to startle him. “Tom, wake up.”

His eyes slowly fluttered open, seemingly disoriented at first but would soon fall into the warm familiarity that your face always brings.

“Why are you sleeping in the hall?” You asked quietly, careful not to make a fuss. The walls in your dorm were very thin and you learned that the hard way. You’d think they’d put a disclaimer about that in the lease when you’re housing a bunch of university students with raging sex drives.

It took Tom a minute to fully comprehend the question, seeing that the bright fluorescent light was being harsh on him and that he’s generally like that when being jolted awake.

“Oh, erm, I—” Tom was finding the right words to use. He can’t exactly exclaim ‘I’ve been worried sick about you!’ out of nowhere. Instead he said, “I was waiting for you to open the door, just to see if you’re alright.”

“All night?”

Tom scratched the back of his neck. “It seemed that way, yeah.” He muttered sheepishly.

You were dumbfounded. Surely this was the first time someone actually fell asleep outside your door, waiting for you to come out. It was sweet but highly unnecessary.

“I was just about to head out and get some McDonald’s, do you wanna come with?” You asked, giving him a hand to hoist himself up.

“I should get going—“

“Have you eaten yet?” You asked cutting him off, taking Tom by surprise. He shook his head no. “Then you should really come.” You said, jingling your car keys in front of him.

Tom was debating whether or not to go with you. It’s been a while since you hung out, but that was the same case for everyone. None of your friends have properly hung out with you ever since the semester started.

Tom should say yes, right?

“Let’s go, Tommy,” You said as you grabbed his hand and dragged him across the hall. “I’ve been staring at my laptop all day and I really need some unhealthy food to balance out the concerning amount of caffeine I’ve consumed.”

“Is that why you’re practically bouncing off the walls?” Tom asked amused, trying to keep up with your pace with your hand holding his.

“Totally,” You grinned at him. “I need to wear out the caffeine or else, I’d have to skip my morning class again.”

“French?”

You nodded. “They’re counting the amount of absences in that class and I really need to keep my shit together.”

“‘m not exactly sure why you took that as an elective,” Tom commented, properly wrapping his hand around yours with fingers interlacing each other.

You tried to ignore it, you really did, but the warm feeling that settled around your stomach drove you crazy.

“Why not? I think it’s cool to learn another language.” You nudged him playfully which he gladly returned.

“I know and trust me, I’m in awe that you’re learning another language! erm—I guess it’s just I feel like you’re overworking yourself too much.” Tom pointed out softly, hoping he didn’t come off as rude or intrusive.

“Eh, I don’t mind.” You replied “It’s what drives me to keep going and for me that’s more than enough. Even if it leaves me little to no sleep, even if it takes too much of my time—it’s enough reason for me to do it.”

Tom stared at you in admiration as soon as those words slipped out your mouth and you didn’t even notice it. You were walking towards the student parking lot, consumed by the twinkling lights from the neighbouring lanes near campus.

Maybe if you weren’t busy consuming the quiet campus grounds, you’d notice the very first time Tom fell in love with you.

“Besides, I know a phrase in french now.”

“Hm—and what’s that, then?”

“Je ne suis pas l’escargot”

“L’escargot? Isn’t that—“

“I am not a snail,” You giggled. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”

Tom laughed, “I supposed so.”

Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of confrontation, you’d have an idea of when Tom knew that you were his person.

See, the thing is— you needed to face reality sooner or later and both your friends could see right through it.

“Honestly, Y/N, how on earth can your box of art materials be this heavy—” Tom appeared in front of the door frame, heaving as he carried the box from two flights of stairs.

You quickly averted your gaze from Maia, who was staring at you expectantly, and cleared your throat. “You can just set them by the door, Tom. I don’t know where to put them yet.” You said as you tried your best to act normal.

“You sure? They’re a tad heavy and I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Tom asked with furrowed brows.

All you could do was nod. The last thing you wanted was Tom’s focused attention on you.

“If you say so,” Tom sighed in defeat “I’m going to grab more boxes—Baby, you don’t have to carry that!” Tom was quick to disappear as he urgently dashed towards his girlfriend, Nadine.

“Oh, but I want to help, Tommy.” You heard Nadine say sweetly, assuming she was also pouting.

You could see Maia roll her eyes, urging you to give her a nudge and a taunting look. “Maia,” you called her out, silently pleading her to stop.

Maia settled down but she wasn’t exactly calm about it either. “I’m still not sure why she’s here.” She murmured. You and Harrison were close enough that you can hear her rambles—which was expected from her anyway.

Maia and Nadine go way back—like toddlers and playgrounds kind of way. Though that sounds figuratively adorable in a way, Maia and Nadine never got along.

Nadine used to date Maia’s brother, which already caused Maia a great demise. As one could expect, the relationship didn’t end well. She left him out of nowhere, saying she needs to find herself—or something along those lines.

A week after the breakup, what Nadine found was herself in the arms of another man. Of course, Maia’s brother was devastated—He truly loved Nadine. Maia had to be the pillar that her brother leaned on. It took Maia a great amount of time to help her brother pick up the pieces that Nadine left.

So yeah—Maia wasn’t thrilled when she heard that Tom was Nadine’s new boyfriend.

“She offered to help, Mai,” You whispered “Who am I to deny help?”

Maia looked at you as if you managed to empty your head while you were moving in between flats. “She’s been after me ever since we were kids. She’s also the reason why it took my brother months to get out of bed,” Maia deadpanned “and She’s Tom’s new girlfriend. Remember Tom? Your ex?” She said rather loudly.

You gave her a tiny pinch on her arm, causing her to yelp. “Maia, are you nuts?!”

Harrison left the two of you so he could grab more boxes, while you and Maia bickered silently amongst each other.

“You are thicker than I thought—Seriously, Y/N. Quit pinching me!” Maia aggressively rubbed her arm.

“They’re going to hear you!” You hissed. “The last thing I want is for those two to get involved.”

“Babe, they’re already involved. Tom, especially.” Maia remarked. “I see the way you look at Tom. I also see the pain you feel whenever he’s with she who must not be named.”

“I’m not doing this Maia,” you mumbled as you walked past her. Your objective was now to help Harrison with the remaining boxes. Your objective was anything but to talk about you and Tom.

“You have to face it sooner or later, Y/N.” Maia called out “I’m not leaving you or this apartment until you tell me what really happened.”

“What’s going on?” Harrison asked as he entered the apartment, carrying three sets of boxes. You grabbed one from him and actively avoided his question.

Before Maia could reply, Tom and Nadine appeared on the doorframe, with Nadine practically glued to Tom.

“Harrison got the last remaining boxes so we’re heading off now,” Tom announced as Nadine’s face painted with clear desperation to get out of your place. “Are we still going bowling tonight?” Tom asked before Nadine whispered something in Tom’s ear and left.

“I’m actually exhausted so I’ll pass,” You answered, obviously avoiding spending time with your ex and his current girlfriend. You’re not that pathetic.

“Same might actually have to just drink the night away,” Maia responded with a grin.

“Well, there’s no way I’m third-wheeling so I’m good,” Harrison said as he threw himself towards the plush teal couch that you snagged from a flea market.

For the tiniest second, Tom seemed disappointed but gave a tight-lipped smile. “Oh, maybe we can reschedule our bowling night, then?” He asked. “It’s not as fun to go bowling with just the two people.”

You, Harrison, and Maia all shared a look. You weren’t on board with bowling-night, to begin with, but you didn’t want Tom to feel as if you were avoiding him—which you were but no one needs to know that.

Maia looked at you, waiting for an answer because god knows she will solely depend on her decision based on yours. You don’t even have an answer, to begin with.

“What are you two supposed to do then?” Harrison asked Tom. Thank god for Harrison.

“I might take Nadine to this poetry jam event that she’s been dying to go to” Tom replied with a soft voice.

“A poetry night?” Maia almost wanted to laugh “You don’t even have the slightest interest in literature, Tom.” Maia didn’t mean to offend him or maybe she did? She wasn’t completely fond of Tom ever since you and Tom broke up—well, she wasn’t fond of the idea that Tom was dating her ‘arch nemesis’, but Tom was her friend and so were you.

“I know that, Mai.” Tom rolled his eyes “but Nadine likes it and I’ll do everything to make her happy.” That left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“If you say so,” Maia murmured before she took a quick look at you. She looked like she wants to give you the biggest hug. But you held a stoic look on your face—something that you picked up because you were afraid of confrontation.

“I’m serious,” Tom defended, lost in his feelings, which only irked Maia even more.

“I know, I heard you— we heard you,” Maia replied, her face showing only one emotion: annoyed. “God, read the room,” Maia grumbled to herself. Harrison had to reach for her hand, urging her to calm down.

“I really love her,” Tom whispered. That left a slap in the face.

It was a cold Saturday afternoon and it has been raining almost all day. It was one of the rare weekends that you weren’t really occupied to do anything other than to lay on your couch and consume a copious amount of entertainment.

Despite the spitting rain, you actually want to head out this time. Being confined to your desk and the university was torture especially since you couldn’t do anything about it—the four of you were graduating this year, no one could afford to slack off.

You and Tom were cuddled against the sofa— Tom was busy watching something on TV while you were busy scrolling on your phone.

“Hey, Tom?”

“Yes, my sweet girl?”

“Do you want to go downtown?” You asked, looking at your phone as you read the details of an event happening this weekend.

“Right now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed. “There’s a book fair being held at the local theatre.” You rested your chin on top of his chest and gave him a pout. You were getting sick of being cooped up between your study table and the library. This book fair was a change of scenery and it’s definitely right up your alley.

“But it’s raining, darling” Tom tried to say in the softest way possible. It’s not exactly up in Tom’s interests though.

“I know,” You sighed “I guess I’m just getting sick of this place.”

“You’re getting sick of me?” Tom asked with a huge pout. He was kidding of course.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of you, Tom.” You chuckled softly.

“Okay,” He hummed, pulling you closer to him—if that was even possible. “Then can we stay like this for a while?”

“Anything for you, angel.” You whispered as you closed the details about the local book fair. Maybe next time.

Soon after Tom left, Maia pulled you to her side and asked, “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You feigned innocence. It was clear as day that you weren’t okay, your friends knew that.

Knowing that you weren’t going to budge, Maia walked towards the kitchen and brought out a bottle of wine from the fridge.

Harrison raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “When did you manage to put that in the fridge?” All of you had been occupied with grabbing boxes that there was no way that Maia had the time to put wine in the fridge, let alone obtain them from somewhere.

“It was supposed to be a celebratory drink for Y/N’s new place,” Maia replied as she set the wine and three various mugs on the coffee table. “Obviously, that’s not happening now.” Drinking wine using the oddly designed mugs you collected over the years was a cry for help.

“It’s 4 pm, Mai.” You pointed out as you stared at the white LED clock that you bought off Amazon—another impulse purchase enabled from scrolling on Pinterest for way too long. “We haven’t even had lunch yet.”

“Oh please,” Maia snorted “If there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s drinking with little to no food consumption.”

“And if there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s cancelling all of my plans for the entire day because I have to tend your hungover-self, Mai,” Harrison remarked as he grabbed the bottle and placed it back on the fridge. “I’m ordering food and no one’s drinking until everyone has finished a meal.”

You heard Maia mutter a string of curses but most especially the part that she said, “This is not the version of daddy that I envisioned Harrison to be.”

All of a sudden Maia’s idea of binge drinking doesn’t seem like a bad idea, you thought.

Turns out Harrison had no intention of letting any of you drink. He was pretty adamant about not having to babysit two drunk messes in one night.

“As if babysitting one isn’t enough,” You recalled Harrison say. He was obviously pertaining to Maia, in which she just huffed the entire time. You often wondered if Maia and Harrison noticed the obvious tension between them, because personally you found it endearing. It was no question that they were meant for each other.

“Y/N, you still haven’t told us whatever happened between you and Tom.” Maia suddenly pointed out. You, Maia, and Harrison were still in the living room, silently watching TV.

You were actively avoiding this conversation for the longest time as you haven’t told anyone about it, and based by the curious faces of your friends, you figured that Tom didn’t tell anyone about it either. You’re still not sure whether that’s a relief or not.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You mumbled. It’s not like you were lying, there really was barely anything to talk about. Heck—You and Tom never got to talk about it properly either.

“We see the way you look at him, Y/N.” Harrison replied softly. “I think there is something.”

“Look—” Maia sat up properly “I know you’re not really vocal about your feelings, but the fact that you’ve never talked nor showed any emotion about your breakup terrifies me, babe.” Maia’s tone was laced with concern.

“I remember the day you told us about it too,” Harrison couldn’t hide his concern too “We were having brunch together at our usual diner and half-way through our meal, you promptly said “We broke up” when Maia asked where Tom was,” Harrison recalled it like it was a fever dream. He and Maia had already expected that you weren’t going to tell them about the breakup when it just happened. However, it baffles them that it’s been over a year since you and Tom broke up, and not one word has been said about it.

It was silent for a while, except for Criminal Minds that was playing on the TV. You blankly stared at the screen, hoping that you’d catch whatever the agents were saying. It was impossible, especially when all your mind could focus on was the recollection of the day Tom knocked on your door at 1 am to breakup.

You were relatively busy that day from volunteer work, so you haven’t seen any of your friends the entire day—or Tom for that matter. Actually, you haven’t seen Tom in a few days. He would send texts periodically throughout the day but they were always short and most of the time, you always forget to reply.

You figured Tom was busy with his own thing and both of you established early on in your relationship that texting—or lack thereof— shouldn’t account to your relationship, especially since both of you are equally bad at it.

You didn’t think any of it since you were bound to see your boyfriend and your friends tomorrow for brunch anyway. He will have your undivided attention by then.

So imagine your surprise when you heard a soft knock from your door at 1 am, only to find Tom in disarray. His eyes were bloodshot red, tears falling down his face. His messy curls were masked under the hood from his jumper.

At first you were in panic, you thought that something terrible had happened to any of your friends—his family even.

But as soon as Tom dropped to his knees and whispered, “I’m sorry,” you had a clear idea what was bound to happen next.

It’s been silent for a while. The door was still open and Tom sat out in the hall with his back leaning against your wall. You did the same thing except you were on the other side of the wall that Tom was leaning on.

You two were close enough to the door frame that you could hear each other, actually facing each other was a whole other thing. Tears kept streaming down your face as you kept your eyes closed and rested your head against the wall.

At some point in your relationship, you prepared yourself in case this happened— that you would accept whatever happens between you and Tom. You didn’t exactly anticipate that it would happen so soon.

“Was there someone else?” You asked quietly. It was the first time you spoke after Tom dropped to his knees. You hoped there wasn’t. In fact, you silently begged to yourself that there wasn’t someone else, because you knew that you couldn’t handle that.

“No, no—of course not.” Tom immediately answers.”I could never do that to you.”

It was silent again. You were starting to feel numb—you tried your best to gather your thoughts and forced words out of your mouth, but you couldn’t.

“Are we not worth fighting anymore?” You practically whispered. It was a gamble— you weren’t exactly sure if Tom had heard it and you don’t have enough strength to ask it again.

“Y/N,” Tom sniffled. “You can’t say that.” He placed his hand on top of yours. You had your hand resting on the floor and you didn’t exactly notice that it served as an invitation for Tom hold it again.

You love Tom with all your heart. He kept dismissing it but Tom made you a better person. He made you feel like love can be expressed through different forms of things—not just words.

You loved him by exclusively making time for him. You went on museum dates where he would make cheesy remarks, saying that you’re the most remarkable piece of art in the entire place. You went on dates to watch football games—you never understood it but Tom was happy, so you were happy.

You loved him through your touch. You would often massage his back because he had been tirelessly working himself to the core. He didn’t ask for it but you knew it would make him feel better. Your touch didn’t have to be intimate—though you expressed it through that way too

You loved him through mindless actions. Almost every time you would stop by at the local cafe to grab yourself some coffee, you would always recite Tom’s favourite order on autopilot.

You loved him through silence. Study dates were gems for you. Even if you didn’t talk for the entirety of it and even if you were the only one who studied for the most part and Tom was just playing on his phone, having Tom beside you was enough.

You loved him so much that it pains you to think that maybe you weren’t enough for him.

“I don’t think I can fight for someone who doesn’t even want to,” You muttered bitterly. “Just answer the question, Tom.”

He didn’t answer. All you could hear were the silent sobs that you two were trying to hold back. At this point, you knew you wouldn’t look at Tom. Your heart wouldn’t take it—it will crush you.

“Are you not happy anymore?” Your voice cracked as you broke into a sob.

“Y/N—“ Tom squeezed your hand even more. You’re going to miss it, but you had to let go.

“Tom, if I’m standing in the way of your happiness then we should end this.” You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away. There’s a ghostly feeling that still lingered from Tom’s touch.

“Please, Y/N, let me explain—“

“It’s okay, Tom.” You whispered. “I understand.”

“You know I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Tom.”

“But—“

“But maybe it’s best if we end it, I know. I got it.” You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down from crying. “Maybe it’s better if we stayed as friends.” Maybe it’s better to realize that whatever you and Tom had were too good to be true—that your love will never compare to the love he deserves.

“Do you want the truth?” You asked your friends, with tears forming in your eyes. You can’t even decipher how they looked at you because of the tears clouding your vision.

Were they looking at you in pity? Empathy? Sadness?

“The truth is—I’m mad.” You gritted the words through your teeth. This was the first time your friends had seen you like this. All of the pent-up sadness, aggression, and hurt you felt was starting to get the best of you.

“I’m angry. I’m hurt.” You snarled, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I’m angry at the fact that I can’t seem to be genuinely happy for Tom. I’m hurt at the idea he seems to be a better boyfriend for Nadine, that he constantly makes an effort for her.”

“I don’t even know if he even loved me the way that I loved him,” Your voice became quiet “and it’s selfish for me to think that way because I never fought for it—for us. That’s enough reason to keep me up at night.”

That’s enough reason for you to wonder if you’ll be capable of loving someone so deeply again.

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@quaksonhehe @dark-infernal-instruments @trustfundparker @emsma11 @tomshufflepuff @spider-babe @goodgirlgonetom @tabi-toast

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland angst #tom holland x you #tom holland x fem #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland blurb #tom holland and reader #tom holland and you #tom holland imagines #tom holland x y/n #tom holland au #tom holland and y/n #the girl writes i guess #txmhoellandwrites

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ivyaugustetc · 3 years

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the dead poets on ice: another headcanon from hell

hey guys!! sooo @pretentious-strikes helped me come up with this idea so big big shoutout to faye ily bestie

uh yeah i had some trials and tribulations over this but it's here :)

also, when i say the poets, i'm including chet and ginny and chris in that. i need to give them a name though. i thought sapphic trio or sumn???

neil: i love this boy but he cannot skate </3 he's got so many talents and yet this is not one of them. he spends the entire time clinging to todd (who also isn't entirely sure he can skate well) and the other half quoting dramatic shakespeare scene and faking his death on the ice HAHAHAHA. can you imagine him pretending to stab himself with a dagger while quoting the end of romeo and juliet? and then he just. fake stabs himself and pretends to die on the ice while todd is like "GET UP I NEED HELP"

todd: the literal definition of "i think i'm doing it right???????" like he kinda knows what he's doing because he skated once two years ago but at the same time it's still a new feelings and he's disoriented?? the fact that neil is hanging onto him for dear life kinda makes him feel like he should know what he's doing, so he fakes it til he makes it because he doesn't have the heart to tell neil he is no safer in his hands than in the jaws of a shark. he leaves better than he was at the beginning, of course, but boy were those first ten minutes absolute hell for him (except for the neil holding onto him part. that was nice.)

meeks: not horrible, not fantastic, but secure in the knowledge that he can skate wherever he pleases without have to worry about falling over. he's just freaking zen the entire time, more of a spectator than a player in whatever chaos is occurring. he makes the occasional sarcastic comment, but spends the majority of the time focusing on his own craft (a.k.a. skating in circles around the edge of the lake). he'll help if anyone gets injured, but otherwise he's perfectly content with his own thoughts and we love it for him :)

cameron: who is a perfectionist? richard. who's good at everything on almost the first try? rich. who's fucking incredible at ice skating? CAM THE MAN RICHARDSON THAT'S WHO. when I say this man has the technique, the style, i mean he has it. he's told approximately no one and yet exactly everyone is in awe of this man's skills. and while he's not showing everyone up, he helps the others that can't seem to go two seconds without falling on their asses. moral of the story: get urself a man who can do both, aka richard cameron.

pitts: he is as tall as a tree and just as uncoordinated as one :) he's the type of person to laugh at how much he sucks rather than get frustrated about it? so every once in a while you'll hear a yell from pitts, followed by a thud, followed by the loudest, most infectious laughter you've ever heard. Like he makes everyone else nearly fall from laughing so hard. He just raises the morale like crazy but is probably also prepared with first aid training if anyone were to fall and break an ankle or something.

charlie: does not know what he's doing, but he's doing it very loudly and badly. he has a baseline skill set that includes standing upright and skating slowly on the ice, but it soon progresses into ZOOM ZOOM GOTTA KNOCK EVERYONE ON THEIR ASSES dalton. he's just zip zoppin through everyone, cackling his head off and trying to push a select few to the ground. he never once succeeds to push cameron down even though that's his main target because cameron has the balance of a flamingo and even though charlie's laughing he's internally thinking "WHY WON'T YOU JUST FALL AND VALIDATE MY CHAOS????" he leaves without having knocked over cameron, but it's fine. he knocked knox over more times than he can count.

knox: um...he's the worst out of all of them. like he is...abominable. he knocks himself and everyone around him off balance whenever he falls because he's the flailing, Not Going Down Without A Fight type of faller. he's definitely frustrated by his lack of skill, especially when Chris skates by and does a little twirl right in front of him. But he's determined to leave that place not totally helpless, but does he? no. charlie made sure he didn't. moral of the story: it could've been better if it weren't for charlie.

chris: I feel like Mrs. Noel would've been the kind of parent to put Chris in gymnastics or something when she was a kid and therefore Chris has great balance and would be a GOD at ice skating. Like, she probably do a few of the little twists and turns that lower-level figure skaters can do. She ends up getting really focused on trying to learn how to do a spin and goes off in her own little world for a bit before she realized she forgot where she was and goes back to hang out with Ginny.

chet: this man is a football player, okay? ice skating is not his thing. First of all it took a hot second to find ice skates that actually fit him, and then when he finally got on the ice he was caught completely off guard by how SLIPPERY IT IS????? so he hangs onto chris like she's a life preserver for a while until she gives him some motivational pep talk that convinces him to let go. he does the weird preschooler slide-walk thing for a while, you know where he's making the movements of walking but his feet are just sliding back and forth on the ice and he isn't getting anywhere because the coefficient of friction is basically in the negatives? but he ends up figuring it out and leaves with one-half of a new skill!!

ginny: queen has never done this before but she does NOT need anyone's help. She is so dead set on doing it all by herself and not allowing a single soul to give her help. When she falls, she dismisses all the hands held out to her and figures out how to get up by herself. Once she gets the hang of it, she allows herself to be dragged around by speed-demon Chris Noel for a bit and once or twice they fall down in a heap because Chris is skating backwards in order to hang onto ginny's hands and therefore cannot see where she's going and furthermore hits every poet like they're bowling pins. But they laugh every time they fall because it's lowkey hilarious and also they're in love <3

#dead poets society #dead poets society headcanon #neil perry #todd anderson #stephen meeks #steven meeks #gerard pitts #charlie dalton #nuwanda #richard cameron #chris noel #ginny danburry #chet danburry #knox overstreet

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wonlouvre · 4 years

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pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff and future angst word count: 2.1k WARNINGS: mentions of food, eating, hospitals, and brief mention of armed men

author’s note: finallyyy! been working on this for the past week and i’m relieved to be posting part 3 already! i’m not so confident about this and i am already warning you all that this could be dialogue heavy :((( please let me know your thoughts! i’d be really thankful to hear from you all!

three: subtle snuggles and light snores | masterlist

Wonwoo chose to work at the Royal Hospital of the neighboring kingdom at his own will. He and the rest of the people in his kingdom won’t deny how the other kingdom pioneered in the line of medicine.That’s why in spite of the many offers and opportunities at his homeland, he wanted to gain experience somewhere else first before going back home.

The marriage wasn’t served on the table before and when his parents broke the news to him, he was already hired and working for a few months. And now that a marriage is in talks, it seems unlikely that he’ll be going back anytime soon.

Wonwoo didn’t hesitate to agree. But someplace in his heart couldn’t help but wonder how it got to this. He’s not saying you’re terrible. You’re the exact opposite of being terrible. To him, you are amazing and awesome. A badass even.

There’s nothing really holding him back. Even his past relationship that you brought up previously.

It’s just that he wanted a purpose out of this union aside from the fact that this will bear the best outcome for his and your kingdom.

Wonwoo was once in love.

He knows, used to know rather, how his heart skipped a beat and how butterflies filled his stomach. But then came you and he is back to zero. He wants to like you. He wants to love you.

He doesn’t want to be a husband recognized by the public. Instead, he wants to be the lifetime companion that you can lean on and trust. He hopes that you see that he’s trying to be one.

It’s a challenge though, because he doesn’t know how or where to begin.

These thoughts have been running on his mind for the longest of days and even now as he gazes at your face, deep in slumber. What happened earlier was a shock. All he wanted was to invite you for a quick lunch before he goes to work and here you are now literally at his workplace, getting the right amount of rest you’ve been missing.

“Your Highness,” the Royal Family’s doctor calls to him politely while the two nurses accompanying him check on you. Wonwoo only gives a brief nod of acknowledgement. “I advise the Princess to stay overnight to recover from her dehydration and stress. A day away from work would be immensely helpful.”

Wonwoo’s eyes don't leave you as he continues to nod and agree with the doctor’s orders. It doesn’t look like it, but he is paying attention to every word the older one is saying. He bites his lip, beating himself up for not knowing what could be causing you stress.

“If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to page us,” the doctor assures and Wonwoo finally turns his attention to him.

“Thank you so much.” He extends his arm for a handshake before letting them leave.

Wonwoo sighs before taking the seat beside your bed again. As much as he wants to go closer and maybe opt to hold your hand, he doesn’t. He just keeps his eyes on you. Your face looks so peaceful while sleeping, a small smile can’t help but form on the Prince’s face. It’s a relief that it’s nothing bad. But still, he can’t feel at ease until he sees your eyes once again. He decided to take a leave from work and stay beside you until you wake up and get discharged.

He has already informed the King and Queen of what happened and they will be here shortly.

“Wonwoo, my dear,” the Queen greets while opening her arms to the young doctor for a quick embrace. “How are you?”

The King walked past the warm exchange, not wasting any time to be close to your bed. “How is she?”

“Your Majesty,” Wonwoo doesn’t fail to say his greetings first before going on full doctor mode. “The Princess is stable. She just needs to replenish her energy by having lots of rest and she’ll be discharged as early as tomorrow morning. Would you like me to call the doctor in charge?”

“No, no,” the Queen answers, now sitting with her husband who’s been gently cradling your cheek. “We’ll go to him ourselves. I’m just glad you are here for her Wonwoo.”

“Ever the hard worker, she is,” your father mutters a harmless complaint. “I will give her a scolding once she wakes up. Scratch that, I am going to have the Prince do that in my place. He’s the doctor after all.” Finally, the King looks at him, a glint of humor in his eyes.

Wonwoo blushes and keeps his head low. He scratches the back of his neck before firmly promising, “I will take care of her better next time, Your Majesty.”

“Nonsense,” the Queen dismisses his apologetic tone with a wave of her hand. “Everyone gets sick every day and it just so happened that it’s our Princess this time around.”

An hour after the King and Queen left, Wonwoo’s eyes grew heavy. Unbeknownst to him, his head gravitated to your bed and close to your arm. He tried to keep his eyes open, still determined on waiting until you wake up, but his determination was futile because it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep beside you.

His face was the first thing you saw the moment you regained consciousness. The top of his head was snuggled to your arm, surprising you. At first, you couldn’t figure out what was going on. But the remembrance of the three cups of coffee you had was enough to answer the questions running in your mind. Then, the embarrassment came too soon because you also remember the look on Wonwoo’s face when he saw your agony.

You’re still not feeling well. You should probably get more sleep instead of resenting your embarrassment. You release a low groan, momentarily forgetting the sleeping Prince beside you.

Wonwoo stirs a little before opening slowly his eyes and meeting yours. He sits up in a heartbeat and blinks his sleep away to make sure you are really awake.

After confirming, he releases the breath he had been holding. “Hey there.”

“Hi,” you whisper, completely bashful. “How long was I asleep?”

“It’s eight o’clock now,” he answers while looking at his watch. “You were asleep for the whole afternoon so approximately eight to nine hours.”

“Wow,” you mutter in sincere disbelief. “I haven’t slept that long since I started working.”

“That’s why you’re going to sleep more.” Wonwoo stands up and fixes the blanket that’s keeping your body warm.

You frown and weakly stop his actions. “What do you mean? Am I not allowed to go home tonight?”

“Nope,” he answers and pushes your hand back down. “You’re staying overnight and that’s your doctor’s advice.”

“I don’t want to lay on this bed for 24 hours,” you whine, lips in a pout. “Can’t you give me clearance instead?”

“I’m not the doctor in charge and I am more than sure that you know that,” the Prince reminds and gently pat your head. “Go back to sleep and once morning comes, you’ll be good to go.”

Seeing that he has made a point, you give up and let your body relax on the bed in spite of your reluctance. You are smart enough to know that you can’t outsmart a doctor like him.

Wonwoo grins in victory and makes himself comfortable on the chair. He then pulls his phone out to make a quick check on some emails and updates at the emergency room.

That got you confused. Why is he still here? You blink suddenly realizing how he had stayed with you ever since you got admitted. You were embarrassed earlier but now you are sorry.

“Are you not… leaving?” You ask. “I can manage alone. All I need to do is sleep this away, right?”

“Sleep Y/N,” Wonwoo commands while his eyes and hands remain focused on his phone, dodging your question.

At the sound of your name, you roll your eyes and turn to the other side of the bed with a huff. As the days go by, you have noticed that Wonwoo can be mischievous and whenever he becomes one, it makes your cheeks blush red and heat up like wildfire.

Wonwoo just snorts at your annoyance. He puts his phone back in his pocket and puts his attention at the back of your head as your breathing slowly even out, much needed sleep once again taking over your body.

Wonwoo didn’t want to leave you when morning came and Jeongyeon arrived with your new set of clothes and warm meal. But he knew he had to go back to work and fulfill his sworn duty in spite of the validity of his excuse that his fiancee is sick. Other than that, but most importantly, he just wanted to see your eyes again first thing in the morning and he’d be content.

You seemed to be exhausted still because he could hear your light snores even when the sunlight through your room was enough to indicate how late it is already in the morning. But time is ticking and he is needed at the emergency ward. So, disregarding his qualms, he took the paper bag of clothing from his friend and colleague, Soonyoung, and changed.

Afterwards, Wonwoo picks up a thermometer and checks your temperature one last time to make sure that you don’t have any fever. All the while, oblivious to the knowing grin of your assistant.

“Please call me when she wakes up. I’d like to see her before she gets discharged,” he requests, hands busy fixing your blanket for the ninth time.

Jeongyeon smiles, aware that there’s nothing left to fix on your bed anymore, before answering. “Will do, Your Highness.”

Finally, the Prince takes his leave but not after giving one last glance to the sleeping Princess.

Jeongyeon immediately fed you the moment you woke up. She didn’t take no for an answer, reminding you that it’s her responsibility to take care of you and that her failure to do so is equivalent to having her head beheaded (it’s not enacted anymore).

At this point she’s now nagging you and it just falls deaf to your ears because you are indeed starving after all the sleeping. You ate every food she brought from the warm soup to the last grain of rice so fast, you looked like you were inhaling them instead of chewing properly. That made Jeongyeon scold you again reminding you that you’re about to be discharged from the hospital and she can’t have you admitted again because of indigestion this time around.

“I am glad that you’re eating well, Your Highness,” the Royal Doctor gladly says. He’s now here to run one last check up before giving you the clearance you’ve been begging Wonwoo for last night.

Wonwoo, you suddenly remembered. Where is he?

“Your Highness?”

“Oh yes,” you reply, waking up from your daze. “Sorry, I think I ate way too much. Please go on.”

The Royal Doctor checked your chart, frequently updated by the nurses on duty all throughout your stay. He then sits on the chair once used by the Prince to ask a few questions to make sure he’s not missing on anything. Your head still feels heavy but it’s nothing you can’t handle. He assures you that you are fine and gives you the reminders that he usually does with cases like yours.

“That’s it.” He clasps his hands together and stands up. “You are more than free to go. Please come back next month for a check up.”

“Yes, I will,” you say and reach for his hand to shake it. “Thank you very mu-”

You couldn’t even thank your doctor properly when someone suddenly barges in through your door with a bang. You recognized him right away as head of your security detail.

“I apologize, Your Highness,” he says, eyes on the floor. Soon, more men follow behind him. “But we have to leave the hospital and move you somewhere safer right this instant.”

Jeongyeon already knows what to do, moving quickly to help you sit up. Meanwhile, the doctor grabs the wheelchair from the small storage room and helps keep your IV stay in place as you move from the bed.

Once you’re all secured, everyone dashed out of the room.

“What the hell is going on?” You demand answers from the men surrounding you and Jeongyeon, who’s pushing the chair to the private elevator.

“There has been a commotion caused by armed men at the Emergency Room,” the head reports and upon hearing where he is talking about, your heart drops to your stomach. “The hospital’s security has it under control but we won’t be taking any chances on letting you stay here any longer, Your Highness.”

“Stop.”

Wonwoo.

#seventeen scenarios #wonwoo scenarios #seventeen scenario #wonwoo scenario #seventeen #wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #seventeen fluff #wonwoo fluff #fic: ifliys

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

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What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 4)

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He’s calculating but impulsive. Gentle yet firm. Stubborn and adaptive. Just a real mess of contradictions that makes him all the more interesting.

He loves nature. He loves the forest.

Fond of luxuries and nice things. After growing up as he did, I think he deserves them.

Very socially awkward. Introvert just trying his best. Anything that isn’t manipulation and therefore something he’s planned in his head is just a social train wreck waiting to happen.

The way he pushes up Alina’s sleeve when they first meet. This man had zero compunctions about acting completely unprofessionally in front of his soldiers and I think that’s very sexy of him.

He’s constantly tired and exasperated with the people around him.

The way he says “quiet” with the softest voice imaginable and a room full of laughter instantly goes silent.

He had no interest in Elizaveta even though she was utterly obsessed with him and I think that’s hilarious.

Elizaveta: I have a plan to resurrect the Darkling Everybody Else: Oh the Darkling is so evil for trying to come back! The Darkling, who just wants a nap and is sick of this mortal bullshit: Why am I even here? This is such a pain in the ass. I should have killed Elizaveta when I had the chance.

How he asks if Alina “will have” his name like a man proposing.

Has his bedroom attached to the war room.

Constantly checking up on Alina just to know how she’s doing. Never pushing her beyond her limits as she’s training.

Very creative with his shadows and the extent of their abilities. So many of the ways he uses his powers are genius.

His ending in RoW is a tragedy and an injustice. He deserves better.

This old man pouting at Alina in episode seven as he says “please, I just want to talk to you 🥺”

There is a black kefta made for Alina after like two days in the Little Palace. He really was already planning their entire immortal futures together as Mr. and Mrs. Starkov wasn’t he?

His bed is covered in maps and notes when he’s plotting how to find Alina. Also before that, the way he’s poring over the notes at his desk and giving orders is 👌🥵

Him acting like a real General at all is simply amazing.

The fact that he trusts Luda with his life. That they have a whole intimidation routine set up around him purposefully getting himself fatally injured knowing she’ll heal him.

He looks like a vampire in the show and a fae in the books.

His favorite ABBA song is probably “Lay All Your Love On Me.”

Looks composed but that’s only a façade. Is actually an unhinged feral terror of pain and misery.

That scene where he tells the king she will remain in the Little Palace to train undisturbed and he puts his foot down. ON THE RED CARPET. the king’s carpet. and uses a commanding voice that’s just on the edge of an order…I’m surprised he didn’t get flogged for that. IMO nothing conveys the fine line he walks with those in power while wielding his own like this scene. Literally he should just be celebrated for this alone.

“‘Why won’t you leave me alone?’ I whispered one night as he hovered behind me while I tried to work at my desk. Long minutes passed. I didn’t think he would answer. I even had time to hope he might have gone, until I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Then I’d be alone, too,” he said, and he stayed the whole night through, till the lamps burned down to nothing.

Trapped a bunch of Saints in the Shadow Fold like a true amoral disaster villain. What an icon.

His barely concealed amusement and half hidden smile when Alina comes to put his kefta on. The way he finds Alina utterly hilarious and tries so hard to act like he doesn’t.

That small amused smile when Alina jokes about finding Volcra hilarious. Please he’s so adorable 😭

“‘I know what you feel when you’re with the tracker,’ he said. ‘I doubt that’ He gave a dismissive wave.” - My Malarklina obsessed self, vibrating at the edge of my seat: but what does it mean?!?

Mal and the Darkling’s entire fight in the Fold: dumbass on dumbass violence.

The way he stands with his back turned to Alina when she enters his tent the first time they meet and then does the slowest Godfather turn in history. 1999/10 - points removed for a criminal lack of cat petting.

“I may lead the second army, but the king is still the king.” - the delivery of that line. the implications, the history behind it and also the foreshadowing for his plans.

That slow turn face reveal in episode one though. Like okay we get it you’re pretty alkjsdflkj

Confused Old Man Face™ whenever Mal or Alina do anything remotely defiant in his presence.

How he tells Alina to come closer and she only takes the tiniest step and he doesn’t even react.

His little head cock whenever someone says or does something that just doesn’t vibe with him.

Darklina tumblr has now convinced me that the Darkling is a cat in human form.

“You’re an amplifier,” she said. He glanced at where Sylvi was pouncing on another helpless tree, oblivious, and gave a single, frightened nod. How could he have been so stupid? He would have to tell his mother now, and she would insist that they leave right away. If word got out, they’d both be in danger. Amplifiers were rare, hard to find, harder to hunt. Their lives would be forfeit. Even if they got away, word would spread. He could already hear his mother’s voice: Foolish, careless, callous. If you don’t value your own life, show some concern for mine. Annika touched his sleeve. “It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell.” Panic crowded in. He shook his head. She slid her hand into his. It was hard not to pull away. He should. He was breaking his mother’s fundamental rule for keeping them both alive. Never let them touch you, she’d warned him. - 😥 I just want to give him a hug all the time.

His strangled shout when Mal tackles him off of the skiff.

His smile when he’s summoning the sun. The expression on his face when he does so. Like I know I’ve mentioned this before but damn. If you ever needed a reason to celebrate him, this would be it.

“Shame, I’ll have to give that speech again now.”

The way he flips Mal over his shoulder in the Fold after Mal attempts to strangle him.

His little lecture on the Small Science to Alina when they’re going to meet the King. Info dump.

“You make it sound so easy.” “A bird makes flight look easy. But it was born to do so.”

When Alina looks at him for guidance on whether or not to remove her veil and he gives her a small nod.

The handhold in the throne room after Alina’s demonstration is absolutely precious, but it’s in a room full of people he should be keeping up a façade for and it’s so unwarranted and yet he does it anyway, I’m-

The way he says “welcome home, Ms. Starkov,” in the most tender voice I’ve ever heard and then goes “ok that’s enough emotions for one day” and then just straight up leaves without even a goodbye.

He has his symbol?? Sewn into Alina’s kefta??? bRo???!?!

Disaster Simp never gets tired of introducing Alina to other people or talking about how she’s the best thing that ever walked this earth.

The Darkling lying: honestly

“I have devoted my life to undoing the great sin of my forebearer, but I am never seen as the solution. Only as a reminder of the problem.” Sasha you were literally the problem. What a manipulative little shit. We love to see it.

The way he closes his eyes and kisses the coin before he makes a wish at the wishing well.

“I think the Grand Palace is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.” - I love him your honor.

This man has the most intense lines for Alina. Like straight up I would have booked it when he said “you and I are going to change the world”. But then the head grab?! “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” He’s so intense like sir can you tone it down a bit please I am begging you.

“I shall be right by your side.” / “We can do anything. Together.” / “For us.” / “You cannot do this on your own. And neither can I” / “I want you to know my name. The name I was given, not the title I took for myself. Will you have it, Alina?” - WEDDING VOWS

That scene in the war room when Alina comes to find him and he instantly drops his guard and lowers his arms and welcomes her with a soft voice.

“Am I bothering you?” “Not at all.” - girl you could be stabbing him in the chest and you still wouldn’t be bothering him.

This whipped disaster sounds like the proudest man on the planet when he talks about how much more his enemies fear Alina over him.

His shadows react to his emotions.

“YoUr’E nOt IvAn.” asjlkdfjs god he’s so embarrassing.

Local Dark Lord Sasha offering Alina the throne after she literally tries to kill him.

He gets so jealous of Mal.

Has a great relationship with his soldiers and his men. His men trust him implicitly and believe him to be an amazing general.

When he turns around after Alina puts the kefta on him and looks flustered/has to take a breath because she’s a lot closer than he expected. The way he’s breathless and literally can’t string a sentence together because he’s so distracted by her closeness.

His jokes are absolutely terrible.

GF: *jokes about throwing herself down the stairs to get out of an event* Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova: haha I’d just have my healers heal you right back up again.

How genuinely touched he is by Alina admitting to wanting to help Grisha and Ravkans.

That scene in Demon in the Woods when he notices the intricate details of the politics in the Grisha camp after one meeting with the Elders. He has the Ulle pegged almost instantly.

Born to be a leader. Born to take care of others. Born to protect. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s protecting people. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s leading them and caring for them.

The way he cups his hands around Alina’s face when they’re kissing.

This man gets so starstruck by Alina walking into the Fete that he doesn’t even excuse himself from the King’s side to go to her.

Long haired Aleksander rights!

Ok I know the wig was kind of ugly but he looks pretty with long hair and I think it would look very good on him naturally.

The way he slams his hands together in the Winter Fete scene and instantly turns the room pitch black.

Literally any times he summons shadows is a blessing and we should all celebrate him for it. They are so beautiful. On god if I ever saw his shadows in real life I would be awestruck.

He asks Mal if he’s okay when they first meet.

The pure, barely contained fury directed at the Conductor for daring to harm Alina and kidnap his Grisha.

He always has to make a grand entrance.

This man is like a bloodhound when it comes to Nina. He is very invested in finding her and I feel like that’s never really talked about.

“I know exactly how she felt. The King’s soldiers treated me the same way. Because they knew- they knew that I was more important than any of them.” - the way he says it, like it’s something he has to remind himself of in his head constantly. a justification for the way he’s been treated, the fear he evokes in others. a way to protect himself from the hurt of being ostracized and reviled. arrogance and conceit as a defense against emotional harm.

Also the way his face instantly changes after that, like he’s said too much. vulnerability. lowering his eyes. shifting his eyes. literally just everything about this scene makes me love him all the more.

Dark carriage rides up to the Crows’ hiding place. Grisha circle the area as Aleksander steps from the carriage slowly, dressed all in black, floofy cloak high on his shoulders. Villain Entrance™

Him slowly pulling a knife out of his chest like it shouldn’t have killed him is hot as fuck and also totally badass. Big dick energy.

“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-

This man is literally just an Alina Starkov compliments machine.

He cares so much about the Grisha and their protection. He loves Ravka and his people so much.

He had an entire cult dedicated to him.

“They would approach him. They always did. But he felt more anxious than usual. He’d stopped trying to make friends in the places he and his mother visited—there was no point when they moved on so quickly. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.”

Save a Villain. Murder the King.

Openly admits to staging a coup like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He speaks so slowly. He moves so slowly. Everything he does has to have Purpose and Gravitas.

Theater Nerd™

He knew Nikolai for years and yet couldn’t recognize him as Sturmhond. We do stan an oblivious icon 💕

The Darkling after he gets his ass whooped in Siege and Storm: Mom can you please come pick me up? I’m scared!

He’s here to manipulate sun summoners and murder cities. And unfortunately he’s all out of sun summoners.

Would absolutely get drunk on real alcohol. This man thinks kvas is strong liquor.

Has his wrists exposed exactly one time in the most skin he’s shown all season and it’s when Alina visits him at night in the war room. WHORE!

Was too emotionally slutty and fell for Alina. RIP.

He’s passionate and cold and beautiful and hurt and twisted up in ways nobody could ever hope to understand and he’s stunning.

I would literally kill for this man 🖤✨

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kasienda · 3 years

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The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir: Ch 6 - Miraculous Abuse

Chapter 1: I Want It To Be You

Chapter 2: Best Friends

Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans

Chapter 4: A Thank You

Chapter 5: Unwanted Revelations

Chapter 6: Miraculous Abuse

If Adrien had avoided using the snake before, he now was operating on the other extreme. Ladybug had told him to abuse it, and he’s not sure she would have meant it quite so literally, but well… he and Nino had come up with a list.

It had started with his homework. If he could finish his homework in far less time, he’d have more time to visit Nino and Marinette. Not that it took a lot of time to visit Marinette as it was usually a loop, so even if he spent hours with her, it never took longer than ten minutes as far as the rest of the world was concerned.

He unfortunately couldn’t do all of his homework in a time loop because that would leave whatever he had completed in the last five minutes erased. But he could do all the reading, researching, planning, and studying in a loop. Anything that didn’t require him to write anything down.

Nathalie had only walked on him transformed once.

“Yes, Nathalie?” he had asked, without looking up from his textbook. He hadn’t even thought about it.

She stood stock still and was dead silent. He glanced towards her with a frown - her eyes were comically wide, but that was the only sign that she was shocked. He glanced down, and remembered he was transformed at Aspik.

Read on Ao3

“Oh shit!”

But it had been easy enough to fix. He just reset, destranformed, waited for Nathalie to come in and deliver his schedule changes for the week and leave, and then he transformed again.

And then Nino had realized if he could pack all of his studying into the space of five minutes, Adrien could surely squeeze in some well deserved leisure time as well.

It only took 71 loops to read a hundred thousand words, and Adrien had long ago discovered the joys of fanfiction, but he had never really had time to read more than a bit here or there. Now? With unlimited time and an entire endless library of things to read based on his favorite games and anime? Let’s just say his current power set brought a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Just One More Chapter.”

And a season of anime was only 119 loops. Hell, he had gotten through all 981 episodes of One Piece in 4532 loops, which was still nothing compared to his time as Aspik, and honestly, far less traumatizing.

He had felt slightly guilty about it. He was literally using the powers of time travel to watch anime.

But when he mentioned it to Nino, his friend had just rolled his eyes. “Dude! You’re thinking about this all wrong. You’re a hero and we need you to be okay. This is about avoiding burnout as much as it is about having a good time. It’s so you get enough of a break and enough sleep to be a competent hero that we all need!”

But eventually the stories and shows hadn’t been enough to hold his attention. And he took another of Nino’s ideas and started paying visits to several of his friends.

He had gone to Kagami first. He had no expectations of healing things with her, but he had always wanted to be able to explain so that his apologies might mean something.

“Chat Noir? Is there an akuma?” she asked by way of greeting.

He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Ah, no. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I also have to erase your memory after the fact to protect identities. Are you okay with that?”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “You have piqued my curiosity. You may proceed.”

He nodded. He had already activated his power before he had landed in her bedroom that was definitely as lavish as his own if not quite as spacious.

“So… more than anything I wanted to apologize to you?”

She frowned. “I’m unaware of anything that you have done that would require an apology.”

“Kagami, I’m Adrien.”

Her eyes went wide for a second. “Ah, I see.” Then, she nodded.

“That’s it?”

“No, it makes a lot of sense.” And then she did something he never would have expected. She smiled. And most of his tension released.

“I just wanted to explain now that I had the ability to. That I wasn’t ever lying to you or running from our dates because I wanted to.”

“You had to sacrifice your own desires for a higher calling.”

“Yeah, that’s it exactly.”

She smiled at him again. “I appreciate you coming to explain and I understand completely why I can’t remember. May I ask you a question?”

“Of course!”

“Were you never in love with Marinette?”

“Well, I… uh… it was hard to see Marinette when I was completely enamored with Ladybug, but…”

She shook her head. “Are you in love with both of them now?”

“I mean, sortve?” He knew Kagami hated when he ended every sentence as if it was a question. “They’re the same person.”

Kagami sighed. “How disappointing.”

“Disappointing?! She’s amazing!”

“I know, but if she’s Ladybug and you’re Chat Noir, I have never had a chance with either of you.”

He felt like he had been thrown off a cliff. “What? You had feelings for Marinette?”

She grinned. “Well, she is amazing, as you always say. At least I know that I have really good taste.”

“Well, I’m sorry to have ruined all your prospects.”

“I will survive. Neither of you define me as a person.”

“You’re pretty amazing, too, you know,” he told her sincerely.

She nodded. “You honor me.”

He laughed. “Kagami, please don’t get all formal on me. I’m still just me.”

“Well, I hope you know that I appreciate all that you and Ladybug do for the city,” Kagami told him, ignoring his request.

“Thank you, Kagami. That means a lot coming from you.”

She nodded in acknowledgment and he knew he was being dismissed, and then he slid the switch on his bracelet and he was on the roof of her family’s manor once again his heart a little lighter.

He had gone to Alya after that. He had been nervous since she was the one who tended to push him aside as Chat Noir. But his fears proved to be completely unfounded as for the most part she could never stop laughing whenever he revealed himself.

“Wait! You’re Adrien?!”

She burst into cackles immediately.

“Why is that so funny?!” He has demanded the first time.

She had just grinned, shaking her head and still chuckling. “I wish I could explain it to you, sunshine.”

“I already know Marinette is Ladybug,” he said.

“Oh good! Then I don’t have to be panicked about accidentally slipping!” And she went back to rolling on the floor laughing.

“You wouldn’t happen to already know Marinette’s other secret would you?” she asked.

His eyebrows scrunched together under his mask. “Umm… that she’s in love with me as Adrien?”

Her face lit up. “Oh see!! You do get it!”

He shook his head. “I do not get it.”

“The two of you managed to get yourself in a love square. You’ve been chasing each other around like two cute little hamsters in hamster balls.”

He sighed, far less amused than Alya at the current state of his Marinette’s relationship. “I’m really glad someone is getting some joy out of this.”

“Hey!” she objected. “I’m only going to know this for another three minutes! Let me have my fun!”

He held up his hands in surrender, and he was smiling in spite of himself. Maybe some time in the future, after he and Marinette could be together, it would be funny to him, too.

“God! This is why it feels like I’m third-wheeling during akuma fights,” she exclaimed.

“You feel like a third wheel?!” he repeated in disbelief. “Have you seen the chaotic energy that is you and Marinette coming up with a plan together? I am definitely the third wheel in that situation.”

And then she was cackling again. “I’m sorry,” she wheezed. “Nino says I can be a bit of a bulldozer when I’m trying to find a solution to something.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” he said dryly.

All the mirth fled her face and she looked at him in concern. “Hey, you okay?”

He nodded. “It’s not like I’m allowed to be anything else.”

“No, don’t say that! You’re allowed to be upset with me! I deserve it sometimes.”

He shook his head. “I’m never going to hold your ability to defeat an akuma against you. I just… have felt a little unneeded lately,” he admitted.

She stared at him for a second and then she burst into laughter again.

And despite still not getting it, he found himself chuckling, too. Her laughter was just that infectious. “Why do you find this so funny?” he asked.

“Because you’re a literal superhero and a model with more money than god, and a heart of absolute gold. You work with her as Ladybug so well I have to deal with crazy conspiracy theorists on the Ladyblog who think the two of you must be telepathic aliens!”

“What? People don’t think that.”

“They do! And it’s annoying. But my point is you’re the real deal, Agreste, and she’s crazy about you, and you know it, and yet you still manage to doubt yourself.”

“I’m glad my struggles and hang ups are so amusing to you,” he said with a pout.

She sat up and fist bumped his shoulder. “Aww! Sunshine! I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, your insecurity makes you seem sweeter and cuter. And it makes you seem more human. I don’t mean to mock you in any way.”

He searched her face and only found open sincerity.

“Thanks, Alya.”

“So, does she know that you know?”

“I mean, she doesn’t right now. But I’ve told her. Many many times, but it was just like this and she doesn’t remember.”

She softened. “That sounds difficult.”

“It’s apparently better than the alternative,” he said, going for nonchalance, but he didn’t fool her if her scooching to sit right next to him was anything to go by.

“I wish we could all fix it for you, Adrien.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“How are you?”

He shrugged. “I’m okay at the moment. Some days are worse than others. Nino… Nino has been a godsend.”

She smiled. “He is pretty amazing. He knows outside of a loop?”

“He does.”

“I’m glad you have that, Adrien. Marinette was falling apart at the seams before she told me.”

“Does he know about Marinette?” Adrien asked. Sometimes, it seemed like Nino knew more than he was letting on. But maybe his friend was just really respectful of secrets and didn’t ask questions.

“Not from me! And he hasn’t told me about you being Chat Noir either.”

Adrien glanced toward the window.

“Does it bother you that there are secrets between the two of you?” he finally asked.

“No, not these ones. They’re not our secrets. They’re yours, and they’re Marinette’s, so they’re not ours to share.”

“I'm jealous,” he admitted.

She offered him a sympathetic smile. “Someday, you won’t have to be anymore.”

The Snake beeped it’s first warning. “Time’s just about up.”

She offered him a fist bump and then a hug. He reciprocated both. “I’m glad you stopped by, Sunshine. You’re always welcome any time you think my particular brand of company is something that would help you.”

He grinned. “Thank you, Alya.”

“I look forward to the day when all four of us can just be open about everything,” she said.

He snorted. “You and me both.”

His went to his bodyguard next.

“I just wanted to apologize to you for always running off. I don’t mean to make your job harder or get you into trouble. I am literally running away to save the city.”

His bodyguard didn’t say anything. He never said anything. He had just let out a resigned sigh and then patted Adrien’s shoulder.

Adrien took that as forgiveness and reset the loop. There was no sense in sitting there in awkward silence for another four and a half minutes.

When he had told Nathalie one afternoon at her desk outside her office, she looked horrified - frozen as still as a statue trapped in Medusa’s gaze.

“Nathalie?”

“I… all this time?” she whispered.

“Yeah. I know it’s a lot. I know it causes you a bit of grief when I disappear.”

She waved away his concern. “Right now, we’re in some kind of time loop and I won’t remember?”

“But you will,” she said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” he confirmed anyway.

“Adrien, I need you to listen to me.”

He nodded.

“I can never find out. Your father can’t either. If you need something because you’re hurt or cornered, or…” she trailed off.

Was she crying?

She cleared her throat.

“Go to your friends. Their parents. Just… not your father, okay? Or me, because I’d have to inform him.”

His brows furrowed together in confusion. “Okay?” It wasn’t hard to to agree despite how weird she was being. He knew Paris needed him and he also knew that his father would never let him continue. Especially if he was seeking help due to an injury or something.

That’s what Nathalie was referring to, right?

She patted him on the shoulder. It was even more awkward than when his bodyguard had done it.

“Adrien, you’re quite impressive as a hero.”

“Thank you,” he said with a smile.

And then there was Marinette. He had learned that it was impossible to tell her he was Adrien without making her cry, which was frustrating because she was also so much more open and affectionate once she knew.

“How do I get you to not breakdown when I tell you this?” he asked her seriously.

She laughed through her tears. “I’m sorry, kitty. I have no idea. It’s just… it’s not fair.”

He smiled. “That’s what Ladybug always says,” he told her casually. She didn’t know that he knew this go around.

“She’s right! You deserve so much, and life… it’s not fair!”

He turned to her seriously. “I don’t need life to be fair, Mari. I just… don’t want to have to wear a mask all the time.” And then he smiled. “I’m glad that you’re okay with me doing this.”

She nodded tearfully. “Anytime, Kitty. Anytime.”

Then during a regular patrol at one point. He had just realized he wanted to make her laugh. So he spent another few hundred loops figuring out which jokes made her laugh the hardest and which ones were absolute duds. Then, on a day when she was having a hard time, he showed up on her balcony and gave her the best one hour comedy of her life.

Her unrestrained laughter was so explosive she had literally fallen out of her chair. Totally worth it.

“Thank you, kitty,” she said wiping the tears induced by her laughter. “You have no idea how much I needed this.”

He hadn’t argued. “Of course, princess. I am always at your service!”

Then, he started working on the perfect confession. He was trying to see if he could get her to kiss him as Chat Noir without revealing his identity because, you know, that always made her cry.

“Can I use the snake to ask you a very important question?” He has asked Ladybug on patrol.

She nodded, and he activated it.

“What do you think it would take to get you to kiss me?”

She laughed. “Are you serious right now? That is your very important question?”

“It is,” he nodded, but offered her a huge grin so she could take it as a joke if she wanted.

“Why? You haven’t been able to be successful yet?” she teased.

“Oh no! I’ve been super successful. All I really have to do is tell you my name.”

She scoffed.

“No, I’m serious!” he boasted with a huge grin splitting his face knowing she only half believed him.

“So, why don’t you just do that?” she asked seriously.

“Because you always cry! And I don’t want to kiss away your tears. I want to make you smile.”

She got quiet. “You know, we can’t be together right?”

“Yeah Marinette,” he whispered. “I know that really well.”

It was silent.

“How long have you known?” she asked softly.

He had no idea how to answer that question. Because time was now very weird for him. In one sense he had only known for a few weeks, on the other he had literally spent so much time in loops that it had to have been at least twice that at this point. Maybe more.

“A while,” he said. “But we’ve already talked about that to death. I’d much rather figure out how to get you to fall desperately in love with this half of me.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You want me to fall desperately in love with you in five minutes?”

He shrugged. “We have a solid foundation of trust and friendship. I’m not starting from nothing. Plus, I’ve fallen in love in less than five minutes before.” With her. He didn’t think he needed to say that though.

She actually smiled. “Yeah, I’ve fallen in love pretty fast before, too.”

And it occurred to him that he had no idea what had made her fall in love with Adrien. He probably could ask her, but that was one more memory that he wanted her to remember having told him.

He could probably just show up on her balcony as regular old Chat Noir and just say something like, “So, Adrien Agreste, huh?” She’d probably tell him, and she’d even remember it. But she wouldn’t know that it was him she was telling.

How the hell had his life gotten so complicated?

“There’s no way I would start crying just from knowing your name though,” she said. “You have to be making that up.”

He just turned to her and raised his eyebrows.

The expression probably didn’t work as well with his transformation covering them.

But she still hesitated. “There’s no way!” she exclaimed, but then she got a thoughtful look in her eyes. “Unless…”

And then her eyes started welling with tears.

And he almost laughed. But he managed to hold it back.

“Oh, come here, bug,” he said instead, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to him. And he just held her as she shook silently.

“It’s not fair,” she whispered.

“I know,” he said, and then kissed the top of her head. “I know.”

“Do you see my problem now?” he said after another pause.

And she laughed through her tears, which had been his intention, and he smiled.

She pulled away. “I’ve thought about it before, you know.”

“Thought about what?”

“Letting myself fall for Chat Noir?”

He hugged her tighter. “Yeah?”

“It never seemed like it would be that hard. I think if it hadn’t been for Chat Blanc, it would have happened after New York.”

He laughed. “Really? New York was when I thought maybe I should ask out Marinette.”

She looked up at him in horror. “Oh my god! We’re just perpetually screwed, aren’t we? We’re just going to keep missing each other over and over!”

He kissed her hand. “No m’lady,” he assured. “That can’t happen because now I know, and I can’t forget.”

And then she was crying again, harder. “I don’t want to forget either.”

“I know,” he told her, kissing her hand again. “I promise it won’t be forever.”

“I love you, Adrien.”

“I love you, too.”

And that time, of the two of them, it was he who was stronger and able to slide his fingers across the reset.

And he might have stayed in that loop far longer than he should have trying to figure out the way to the heart he had apparently already won.

He learned that she did enjoy his flirting whatever she said to the contrary, but the moments where he was vulnerable and genuine were the ones that seemed to move her the most.

But none of it was quite enough. If he wanted a kiss, he always had to tell her his name.

But despite his failure, pulling himself out of that loop was the hardest thing he had ever done.

And that’s how he knew he was in trouble.

…

“Nino, you have to take this away from me,” Adrien said, holding out the snake miraculous. He had just arrived and released both his transformations.

Nino took it, his eyebrows pinched together. “What? Why?”

“Because I’m scared I’m going to go into a loop and I’m never going to come out of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look! Being here with you, with you knowing everything, is amazing. It’s the only time I feel like myself, unless,” he held up the bracelet, “I’m using this and… it’s getting harder to pull myself out of the loops.”

“Your visits to Ladybug?”

“Yeah,” Adrien admitted. “She told me to go every single day so I would remember what it was like to be loved,” he paused for a second, trying to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. “The problem is I really really like being loved.”

And then he couldn’t hold the tears back anymore.

Nino pulled him by the arm down to the ground and sat right next to him shoulder to shoulder.

Adrien buried his face in his hands.

“For the record, dude,” Nino whispered. “You are loved even outside a loop with Ladybug.”

Adrien threw his arms around Nino. “I honestly don’t know why you put up with me at this point. I feel like you have to put up with a lot.”

Nino grinned. “Hey! I happen to like hanging out with you! This shift has been awesome because I get to see you way more often.”

“And I’m not like messing up date night with Alya or anything, am I?”

“Nah!” Nino waves away his concern. “Alya and I hangout in the mornings and during lunch. Lately Marinette has monopolized her evenings.”

Adrien managed to keep a straight face at that. “If you and her ever do need a day away from the children, I’m sure Marinette and I can figure out a way to take care of ourselves for a day.”

Nino burst out laughing.

“What?! I’m a big boy and Marientte’s a big girl. We can take care of ourselves.”

Nino just shook his head, still snickering.

“Maybe all four of us could do something some time,” Nino suggested, his eyes sparkling.

Adrien narrowed his eyes. Did Nino know? He knew he couldn’t ask without giving it away, and he had just handed over the snake.

“That sounds really nice,” Adrien said, knowing he wouldn’t be able to handle going on a double date that he had to pretend wasn’t a double date. But someday.

He wanted to cry again, but his eyes remained dry.

“So, you just want me to keep it?” Nino asked, holding up the bracelet. “Should I hide it here in the room? Or wear it?”

“Wear it,” Adrien said. That was the only way Nino would know where it was at all times. “But don’t use it. Not even for an akuma.”

He didn’t want Nino to ever experience a loop on the battlefield. Not if he could help it.

“I reserve the right to come save your ass if necessary,” Nino said as he slipped the miraculous around his wrist.

Adrien laughed. “Okay, but please don’t unless you absolutely have to. I don’t need Ladybug pissed at me for giving away a miraculous.”

Nino frowned at him then. “Why are you giving this to me, instead of back to her?”

Adrien’s answer to that was complicated. Partly because he didn’t want Marinette to know that his loops with her were hurting him even as they gave him hope, and he definitely didn’t want her to know that he had fallen to the point of being borderline addicted.

But there was also a strategic element to his choice. He could approach Nino in either form, and Nino would know to trust him.

“You know who I am,” Adrien finally said.

“Will you be okay without it?” Nino asked.

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’m definitely not okay with it right now.” He paused, then looked at Nino. “I might be texting and calling you a lot over the next few days.”

Nino laughed. “I can’t promise to answer right away all the time, but you can always do that, man. Always.”

Adrien let his head fall onto Nino’s shoulder. “Have I ever told you that you’re the absolute best?”

“I could stand to hear it a few more times,” Nino said.

Adrien grinned. “Noted.”

…

Chapter 7: The Five Minute Adventures of Ananta

#miraculous ladybug fan fiction #marichat #platonic adrino #trigger warning: addiction #hurt comfort #coping #identity reveal #time loops #The five minute adventures of snake noir #a miraculous reveal #ml spoilers #ml s4 #my own content #this fic writes itself #I'm just the channel #happy reading

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choco-mark · 4 years

Text

One Hundred Times

pairing: soulmate!jeno x soulmate!oc

genre: fluff | smut | like the tiniest bit of angst but barely

warnings: language, oral (fem. + m.), handjob, body worship, mentions of sex, super fucking innocent y/n and jeno, explicit sex, y/n showing jeno where the clit is

summary: in a world where soulmates can read each other’s thoughts, you find yours much sooner than everyone else around you; some even said it was too early, but it seemed as if you had been waiting for yours all your life.

words: 8.8k

note: y/n and jeno’s thoughts are written in italics

part of the You Are Me series!!

23 April

The age of ten was known as the age that was both the beginning of a child’s introduction into adulthood, but also the ending of a childhood that wasn’t long to begin with. It was the age when your soulmate mark was activated, and it was also the year that children would be newly exposed to their eternal lover. And today, today was Jeno’s tenth birthday; the birthday that would change his life forever.

But all tenth birthdays changed all children’s lives, but in most cases, they would not be able to speak to their soulmate if their tenth birthday hadn’t passed. Jeno hadn’t known what he wanted, to hear his soulmate’s name in his head immediately or an empty screech that it was described as for those who had soulmates who weren’t of age yet. It didn’t matter, of course, since it had already been decided by the heavens when he woke up that morning, bolting out of his bed with sweat covering his entire body.

Jeno looked around his room cautiously, as if expecting someone to be sitting there waiting for him to wake up on the day of his tenth birthday. But there was nothing in his head, just a blank sound masking his own thoughts as he jumped off the sheets, scrambling to the calendar. It’s my birthday, right? There was an echo of his thoughts in his mind, making him dizzy for a second. Oh my god, I can literally hear myself.

You can hear me too. He froze at the sound of a sweet giggle taking up his head, his mouth popping open for a brief moment. I was wondering how long it would take for you to turn ten. It felt like I was waiting forever. So, this meant that his soulmate was...older than him? Yeah, I’m older than you, is that a problem?

No. I just thought, um, didn’t hear you when I woke up. His excuse didn’t make much sense, at least it probably didn’t because the voice in his head let out a small laugh again, warming his insides as it echoed through his head. Jeno felt a smile graze over his face, almost involuntarily. What’s your name?

Another giggle. We can’t tell each other our names! It doesn’t work like that, didn’t your parents tell you? He shook his head, and then realized, that you probably couldn’t see him. No? Okay, I’ll tell you! Basically, when you turn ten, you can talk to your soulmate through a little head space! So there’s like, kinda a room where we can talk together, but you can still talk to yourself in your own space. We can feel each others emotions, though! And, um, I think that’s it.

So, I can’t tell you my name? Why not? Jeno stood confusedly, staring at the date on his calendar with his eyebrows scrunched. If he just thought his name, wouldn’t you be able to hear it? There was a hum of disapproval from your side, making him perk up. But why? If I just tell you that my name is—

He tried to form the words in his head, but they never echoed the way everything else did, the thoughts only being bounced back to himself. “Lee Jeno,” he whispered, “My name is Lee Jeno.” You were right, it wasn’t working. But then...How are we supposed to find each other if we don’t know each other’s names?

Hmm, we will. That’s what my mom tells me, at least. The soulmate system doesn’t fail, you know, so...we’ll probably find each other before we turn sixteen.

And what if we don’t?

You let a long pause in your mind, elongating it for a brief moment before taking a breath. Did he just hear you breathe? No, we’ll definitely find each other. We have to, it’s foolproof. It always works.

Okay.

6 May

You took one last step as the music ended, your teacher giving your class a nice smile before telling you that it sadly was the end of your lesson. Holding your arms above your head to catch your breath, you nodded as she went around the class to comment of their strengths and weaknesses, allowing you to calm your heart down when she came to you in the front.

“As expected from our lead dancer, Y/N, perfect formation,” she clapped her hands together, inching backwards to get a good look at everyone else. From the corner of your eye, you spotted the familiar thirteen-year-old boy with soft colored hair looking at you from the end of the line, and it made you heat up in embarrassment. Not him, anyone but him. “You all are dismissed. I’ll see you in two day’s time.”

A breath you didn’t know was inside of you was let out, allowing you to calm down a little as you loosened your ponytail. A few of your fellow dancer friends gave you a small goodbye as they grabbed their bags and walked out of the studio, but you stayed, just like you always did for an extra hour of practice. Just as you went to to grab your phone for the music, you caught the stance of the same boy at the edge of the room, watching you with a his dark bag swung over his shoulder. You gulped. Why is he still here?

Huh? You felt like you got shot, your soulmate’s voice turning loud in your head as you blinked a few times. Who?

Erm, um, nothing. Sorry, didn’t mean for you to hear that. Don’t mind me. You were rambling in your shared mind at this point, feeling bad for the boy on the other side. I’m good. Just, um. Yeah, I’m fine.

Jeno was one of the boys in your dance class that you knew all the girls had their eye on. It was funny, you thought, because it sounded as if they were all so disloyal to their soulmate when they went on and on about Lee Jeno’s smile and Lee Jeno’s muscles. You had to admit that Jeno was indeed a very attractive boy, that was for sure, but you couldn’t get it out of your head, the way that he would look at you when you were praised by your dance teacher. Or from the way he would watch you when you were asked to dance alone. His eyes only ever seemed to train on the way you were moving, and it always made you so self conscious to the point that you would almost mess up, or not give it your all while dancing. Jeno was capable of making someone that nervous.

But Jeno was also quiet, coming and going to class without nearly a word to anyone else. Even the other boys mentioned that he would be the one to change the fastest in the locker room, and the one that would never even spare a glance to anyone else, unless it was a flash of his smile or a polite greeting. He was so quiet that you almost believed you didn’t recognize his voice whenever he responded to the teacher, the low sound that would startle you every time. Though, it sounded awfully familiar in a way, a way that you couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Y/N?” You whirled around at the sound of your name leaving the boy’s mouth, your eyes trailing on him as he walked closer. “Do you think you can,” he gestured around, “um, maybe help me with some of the choreo? I know you stay here for a while after class and I don’t want to intrude but if it’s not too much...” He trailed off, and his hand went through his hair as he looked down to the ground, and then back up at you.

“Uh, sure!” You could already sense him getting nervous from even saying those words, so you offered him a slight smile. “I don’t mind, it’s okay. What part do you want to go over?”

Your lesson ended up being much longer than usual, and something you had learned about Jeno that day was that he went hard on himself. He was so self destructive, in a way, always scolding himself for making mistakes even if it was a minor slip-up with his footwork. But he was also a hard-working dancer, as you had already noticed from your day-to-day classes, one that would always put his all into dancing in one way or another. He was passionate about it, more than you, that was for sure, and it was something you were sure that you could admire about him.

You went home with a soft smile on your face that evening, feeling accomplished in the fact that you had just helped someone advance on their dancing skills, and with the belief that you had just made a new friend. It was well needed, you thought, laying down on your bed and staring at the ceiling. I needed a new friend after all.

Oh? My girl made a friend today? You weren’t expecting your soulmate’s voice to come coursing through your head, knowing that he usually slept early on a school night. But you nodded to yourself, or rather, to him. Guess what? I made a friend too.

Really?

Yeah. You heard him chuckle in your mind, sending you a wave of warmth. That’s why I’m not asleep right now. I came home later than usual just—hanging out with them. I’m kinda tired now, though. Are you going to sleep yet?

You turned to the side, wrapping the comforter around your body a little tighter before reaching over and switching off the light. Hmm, yeah. It’s almost midnight. You should go to sleep to, you know. I didn’t think you’d still be awake. You heard him laugh again, his breathing slowing down as sleep heaved over him. Oh, you’re already falling asleep. Good night...

And the next day you were back in the same room, a loose shirt adorning your body as you guided Jeno’s steps and slowly advanced him through the choreography. He seemed completely out of it though, his head just shaking over and over again as he messed up repeatedly.

“Like this?” Jeno tilted his head, moving his arms up to try and imitate the same position that you were standing in. Yet, it didn’t quite work, the motion swinging him out of balance as he nearly tripped over his feet at the same time. You sighed, watching him stumble before looking over at the slight grimace on your face. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m doing something wrong, right? Ah, shit.”

You watched as he ran a hand through his hair, silencing his curses before trying again, and failing once more. He looked awfully distressed today, and he was going harder on himself than he usually did. Pursing your lips, you moved to stand in front of him. “Uh, why don’t we take a break? Ten minutes? How does that sound?”

Jeno shook his head, the sweat from his hair falling to the ground as he disregarded your words. “Can we take it from the top just once more? I think I got it this time.” He didn’t look at you, his eyes focusing on himself in the mirror with the personal judgement flowing through his mind over and over again. You could almost feel the way he was feeling, the sadness drowning you down just in the slight.

“Jeno, we’re taking a break, okay?” You said firmly, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m not teaching you anything until you sit down for at least a few minutes and drink some water. Come on, you can’t just keep forcing yourself to continue.”

“Yes, I can. I’m fine.” You hadn’t heard such a tone fall from his mouth like that before, the usual words being soft and kind. All you knew in that moment was that he most definitely was not fine, and he looked like he was about to pass out at any moment if he didn’t hydrate himself. “Can you just play the music?” His voice cracked near the end of the question, his face twisting into an unreadable expression. “Please?”

If Jeno was to say that he had a bad day, that would’ve been an understatement. Not only did his best friend completely shun him for the entirety of school today, but his parents had fought loudly that morning, just like it almost always happened. He tried to not let it get the best of him, but he couldn’t just ignore the fact that his parents were getting tired of each other, and the fights between them were getting more and more frequent. You watched with widened eyes as you saw his face turn from determination to desperation, his eyes glistening with tears.

“Can you just play the music?!” He repeated with a roar, his fists clenching involuntarily as you jumped from his sudden outburst, backing away from him a little. He was far from fine, in fact, you knew that there was something pricking at him from the way he was acting, but you didn’t say anything. Yet, you didn’t move, not wanting to let him go without at least calming down first.

Jeno knew how he looked right now, probably pathetic in the eyes of you. Fuck, I can’t cry in front of her. No, no, I can’t. Don’t do that, you’re gonna embarrass yourself. The tears came anyway, your jaw dropping from the thoughts you had just got conveyed to your brain. God...I’m such a disappointment.

This seemed like the wrong moment, but you couldn’t help but cover your mouth with your hand, your heart racing at the sight of him. There was no way that...it couldn’t be, right? No, it was definitely not the right moment, especially not when he was now on the ground, his hands planted to the wood floor with hot tears spilling down his cheeks as well. But, I have to try, right?

There was the rumor of the first touch, that the first touch between two soulmates would send a spark into both of their bodies, giving them a sign that they were—destined for one another. You knew that it wasn’t true for everyone, as some people had found their soulmate without ever having experienced such a spark. You had never felt it before, but it was obvious as you hadn’t found your lover yet, but you were about to find out whether it was true or not.

There was a chance that Jeno wasn’t your soulmate, of course, but you still let yourself crouch down to your knees, reaching out a hand to place on his shoulder. You were shaking, you realized, the nervousness taking over your body as you hesitated to put it down. Just do it, just do it. Hurry up.

Taking a deep breath, you heard a sob come from his mouth as your hand fell to the fabric of his shirt. Just at the feeling, he choked on his sob, his head snapping up to look at you when you felt the burn go through your body. You froze, your eyes falling on the hand that was touching him. Did you feel that? Did you just feel what I felt?

Silence filled your mind, but Jeno was still staring at you, almost making you uncomfortable as you pulled your hand away. You couldn’t tell what he was feeling, and you absolutely had no clue what was going through his mind. At least, that’s what you thought. Touch me again.

Your hand fell to his neck, the hotness of his skin cooling almost instantly to your touch. The skin to skin contact buzzed you more, a new surge going through you. Jeno let out a sigh, placing his own hand over yours. Did you feel that? Can you feel me? Am I touching you?

Y/N? You gasped at the sound of your name filling your mind for the first time in so long, the voice you had been hearing in your head for so long finally saying your name with such delicacy. Is your name Y/N?

Yes. You let yourself lean forward, wrapping your arms around him to feel him fully. It felt so right, after everything else in your life, this boy holding you against him in the same manner, now dropping tears to soak your shirt. Please don’t cry, Jeno. It hurts. But he couldn’t stop himself, his hands balling the fabric of your clothing in his hands, his grip tightening around you as he cried even harder than before. Jeno...

All the pent up emotions were being let go with the relief that Jeno had found his soulmate, but all the pain was still there. You felt yourself tense up to the same emotions being thrown over you, feeling tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as the grip around his neck tightened, the hug turning almost suffocating with it.

Please don’t cry, Lee Jeno. It makes me want to cry. Yet, your thoughts contradicted your action, tears soaking into his shirt as he tried apologizing. It didn’t come, however, the cries were almost never ending. You were crying, and it felt real for once, real tears from your true love. What a feeling.

17 December

“I could kiss you one hundred times and it would still feel like the first time,” Jeno whispered in your ear, his arms resting on your waist as you stood in front of the mirror. Today was the day of your night performance in front of the entire dance school, and you were in costume, stage makeup on your face, carefully done by yourself over the years of practice.

You still remember your first kiss, back in that dance studio two years ago, the one where you two met each other in as young teenagers. It was a day after class was over, the two of you sitting against the large mirrors, eating snacks that he had brought specifically for you. You had leaned in spontaneously to brush away a piece of his hair, but your lips met with his instead. They were soft, soft and plump, and that was one thing that never changed about him.

You smiled at his words, admiring how handsome he looked with his hair styled and his costume fitted to his body perfectly. He leaned sideways, sending a quick peck to the corner of your jaw. “Yeah, then why don’t you do it now?”

Jeno looked around the dressing room, seeing everyone scrambling to get ready and he focused back on you, holding your face gently in his hand to turn it his way. His lips met yours with a soft crash, molding his mouth against yours. It felt like bliss, to him, kissing you. You taste so sweet, princess.

You’re sweeter. You pressed a hand to his chest to prevent him from turning the innocent kiss into something much more heated, pulling away for a moment to shake your head. Not now. We have to go on stage in like—fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes. That was all he needed. His hand kept your face in place as he caught his lips in your again, devouring you completely without a warning. You grasped onto his arms, keeping yourself grounded when his tongue played at your lips, silently asking for entrance. Even knowing that everyone could be watching you, you let him in anyway, feeling the comfort of his touch make you crave for more.

There was a loud clearing of a throat, making you pull away from Jeno for a brief moment to see Jaemin giving the two of you the most disgusted look on the planet. Your eyes flitted next to him to see Jeno’s best friend, a girl who looked absolutely mortified at the scene as well. You flushed from the attention, turning your head away from your soulmate as he tried to attack your lips again. Jeno, come on. Your friends are here.

And? If I kiss you any longer, they’ll just leave. Jaemin isn’t Hyuck, you know, he can get embarrassed too. You raised your eyebrow at his thoughts. He wanted to embarrass his friends—with you? God, you couldn’t believe that this boy was yours sometimes. I’m offended, Y/N. You deserve another hundred kisses just for that, you traitor. You giggled, pressing a hand to his lips as he tried leaning in again. You will pay for this, princess.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” you said quietly, your eyes pouring into his. Jaemin had sighed, taking the girl alongside him as the two of you were left alone to the corner of the dressing room once again. A smile played at his lips and eyes, making him chuckle softly at your playful tone. “You just want to kiss me again, don’t you?”

Jeno shrugged, shamelessly nodding his head. “I’ll kiss you on stage if you want me to. I think that’d be more than the show that we’re putting on. What do you think?” You smacked his arm, and his chuckling grew in volume.

Lee Jeno!

13 August

“I’ll be inside with the boys, alright?” Jeno left a peck to your forehead, leaving you alone to the ginormous pool that belonged to Chenle. The rest of the boys’ girlfriends were inside, fooling around with each other and having fun, and it made a small smile grow over your face until you realized one of them was missing.

It was Jaemin’s eighteenth birthday today, and the rest of the boys decided to throw a party for him right at Chenle’s massive mansion. All the plannings went well, except for the fact that Mark almost messed it up when he called Jaemin’s girlfriend asking whether or not she was bringing him over already. Thankfully due to his obliviousness and the way he was absolutely in love with his soulmate, the surprise went smoothly.

Renjun’s girlfriend was sitting at the edge of the pool, her feet dangling inside of the water, and she looked—not the most enthusiastic as the rest of the girls. You took the chance to walk to her side, settling down beside her as she glanced over at you with shining eyes. “Hey,” you offered her a smile, and she threw one back, only to look back down at her feet again. “Something up?”

“Y/N?” You nodded. She looked like she was in deep thought, and with a brush of her hair to the side, she faced you again, her eyebrows slightly scrunched. “How do you and Jeno do it?”

“H-Huh?”

“I mean, how do you and Jeno make it seem like—I don’t know, like you guys seem so happy with each other all the time. And I mean—you two have a really, I guess, ideal kind of relationship in a way. Just, how do you guys do it?” She was serious with her question, a genuine wonder about the two of you.

You hadn’t known her for long, only having known that she was Renjun’s soulmate when Jeno introduced you to her. But in a way, something you had always noticed about her was the way she was—self conscious about herself and her relationship with him. Almost as if she didn’t believe she was the one for him, even though it was literally a match made in heaven.

You let your feet submerge in the cool water as well, wincing at the way it contrasted from the hot weather. “Um, well, I don’t really know.” You laughed nervously, looking from her and then up at the sky. “I mean, you know how there’s that myth, the one that says if two soulmates find each other before the age of fourteen, they’re ‘bound to a doomed relationship.’ We found each other when we were thirteen.”

The girl seemed shocked, clearly not having known this before. “Wait, really? You guys met each other before—so, before you even entered freshman year?” You nodded, giving her a sheepish smile. Everyone always gave that same surprised look whenever you told them you found your soulmate before the normal age of discovery, and you were used to it at this point. “Sorry, uh, I didn’t know that.”

“So Jeno and I have been together for the past four years, and I obviously don’t regret anything. I love him—with my whole soul, everything. We don’t really get in fights, um, unless it’s the petty ones about choreography or music or something. But, nothing serious. Oh, and we tell each other almost everything.”

Renjun’s girlfriend pursed her lips, nodding in agreement. “Er—have you guys like, tried anything? You know, I mean I don’t think everyone’s actually done it. Renjun and I haven’t even tried yet...” she trailed off, looking down at her feet again before looking back up at you. “But, uh, apparently it’s supposed to feel good. Have you guys ever tried?”

“Um, what do you mean?” You struggled to catch onto what she was talking about, your mind going blank as you tried to think about the things that soulmates could do with each other. “Tried what?”

“You don’t know?” You looked over to your right, where Mark’s girlfriend was slipping out of the water to plop beside you on the tile. “Wait—don’t tell me that you and Jeno haven’t done it yet! You guys have been dating since forever!”

“Done what?!”

“She really doesn’t know,” Renjun’s girlfriend said from your left, her jaw dropping. “Sex, Y/N! You two haven’t had sex yet?” You felt yourself becoming hot from the accusation, the thought of doing something that intimate with the boy you loved so much, sending you out of the universe. “Oh my god, you haven’t even touched yourself, have you?”

You shook your head, looking from her to the girl on your right, who seemed equally as surprised. “N-No? Not like that...”

Mark’s girlfriend scooted closer to you, taking your hands into her as she stared deep into your eyes. “Listen to me now, you, my friend, are missing out on a lot. Considering you and Jeno both seem to innocent to even have, like I don’t know, opened a book about the subject, I’m gonna tell you right now. Soulmates can feel each other’s emotions, right? And physical things as well, like pain, for example if Jeno was to break his arm, you’d feel it too. You know that, right?”

You nodded slowly, remembering the time Jeno had sprained his leg during a dance class and you had fell to the ground in pain as well. “Yeah well, just like that, you guys can feel each other’s pleasure. Do you know what I mean? If he was jerking it off, you would feel it too and vice versa. And even better, sex is ten times that feeling.” Your eyes widened. That’s not something I’ve ever thought of.

Mark’s girlfriend sighed, letting go of your hands and leaning back on her own. “I think you guys should have a talk, at least by now. And if he’s not gonna be the one initiating it, then you should! Don’t you want to go to the next level with that relationship of yours?!”

What are you thinking about, princess? You felt like your thoughts were just intruded, the words being conveyed to him because they were about him. Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to.

No! It’s okay! I was just thinking about you, that’s all. The two girls seemed to understand why you went completely mute, sharing a glance with each other as you continued talking to him. You don’t have to apologize...

What’s on my girl’s mind? You almost responded with a giggle to his little nickname for you, the one he had used before the two of you had found each other. What? You like that, don’t you? My pretty girl...tell me, what’s on your mind?

You hummed, contemplating for a moment. I’ll tell you later. Now, can you get me some ice cream or something. I’m melting out here.

Of course. Anything for my girl.

15 August

You were literally pacing back and forth in your room, your mind nearly bursting as you tried to keep your thoughts in your sacred little bubble. If Jeno was to hear anything you were thinking of while he was showering, you were sure that he would go into cardiac arrest right then and there. Jeno had come over for the night as he often did, taking his time to shower before the two of you would drift off into a slumber. But today, you were going to try something different.

After secretly driving yourself to the library and actually finding a book explaining soulmates, you were curious to see how you would feel if you and Jeno were to...do anything. Your only concern was that you didn’t think he’d want to, or that he wouldn’t see you in that way. It was driving you mad knowing that he was going to come out at any moment and you were planning on talking to him, though you weren’t sure if he was going to take it very well.

Jeno came in shortly after, ruffling his hair with a towel before handing it to you, silently asking you to dry it. You knew how much he liked it when you did, so you quietly did so, your mouth not forming any words no matter how much you wanted to ask him about it. He noticed your discomfort, pulling on your wrist softly to gain your attention. “What’s wrong, princess?”

You pulled the towel away from his head, sighing deeply as you tried to gain control over your overly racing heart. “Um, so,” you didn’t like the way you sounded, already cringing at the sound of your voice. He was looking up at you from the bed as if you were the most gorgeous creature on earth, but you didn’t quite feel that way. “So, I was wondering if—uh, okay, so I heard that, um...” You trailed off, already feeling yourself turn embarrassed from not even being able to form a sentence properly. “Just,” you looked back into his eyes, that were waiting hugely and you sighed. “N-Never mind.”

Jeno was already confused, knowing that you were the kind of person to share everything and anything with him, and those words almost rarely never came out of your mouth. “It’s only me. What’s on your mind? Tell me.”

You avoided his gaze, preparing yourself mentally before finally speaking again. “So, I read in, um, a book that—soulmates can, you know, feel each other. Like, um, not just emotions and feelings or whatever, but like physical things and I was wondering if you wanted to try that.” The words came out all mushed and they almost wouldn’t have been understandable, but Jeno knew what you were saying, his expression softening as he moved a hand up to cup at your cheek.

“Hey, look at me,” you turned back to him slowly, seeing his familiar smile grazing his face beautifully. His thumb caressed your skin carefully, eyes searching yours as you could no longer look away. “Don’t be so nervous around me, okay? I love you.” You felt your heart swell from his confession, one that didn’t come often from him, and you tried to give a smile in return but couldn’t. “So what, hmm? Does my pretty girl want me to make her feel good?”

Your breath hitched as his hands went to your waist, tugging you closer to him. “Yeah? Tell me what you want me to do.” He pulled you down to attach his lips to your neck, but it was nothing soft, they sucked on the skin until you were sure it was going to bruise and you leaned your head back, your eyes fluttering shut from the feeling. “Do you want me to make you feel good?”

Jeno pulled back to look at you deeply. Are you sure you want this? Are you really, really sure? You bit your lip, nodding slowly. One hundred percent sure? I want you to say it, please.

“I want you, Jeno,” you answered quietly, watching as he closed his eyes for a brief moment, almost as if he was trying to control himself from the way you were already making him feel. It was the bare minimum, not even, but he really thought you were going to make him a mad man before anything even happened. “I’m sure.”

He hummed, pulling you down onto the bed until your back was flat against the mattress, his body hovering over yours. “Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” He asked sweetly, waiting for your nod of approval as he kissed you deeply again. A hand tugged at the end of your shirt, and he pulled away once again to ask with his eyes.

Bunching up the fabric, he pushed it higher until it was off past your head, laying forgotten on the floor. His hands smoothed over your skin, admiring it before stopping at your breasts, which were still carefully covered by your bra. With another look, he slid his hands underneath you, unclipping the garment and slipping it off past your arms. You were almost sure that he was drooling over your body from the way he was looking at you, and his lips started at your collarbone, peppering kisses all the way until your breasts, where he planted a kiss between them.

You let out a gasp when he gave a lick to one your nipples, his eyes focusing on you before taking it into his mouth. Just as he sucked on the skin, you already felt an unfamiliar heat growing between your legs as you let out a soft moan to his actions. After he was satisfied, he moved to the next one, wetting the skin with his mouth before lapping at your nipple. You didn’t know what to do with your hands at that moment, and he heard your thoughts, pulling them up to rest on his head.

Jeno mouthed down your torso, leaving wet kisses until he met the waistband on your shorts. Can I? You nodded almost immediately, hearing him chuckle in your mind for a bit. You’re so beautiful, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re mine. His hands tugged your shorts down, and your eyes squeezed shut from his movements. “I want you to look at me,” his hands rubbed your thighs slowly, the heat growing nearly unbearable when he moved them closer. “Look at me, princess.”

You opened your eyes again to see your soulmate’s head between your legs, prying your legs apart. There was only one piece of clothing on you now, the cotton of your panties covering your most intimate portion of your body that no one had touched like that before, not even you. He inched closer, bringing his hand to cup at your core with almost barely a touch, but you let out a strangled sound to it, satisfying him deeply.

He applied the slightest pressure to your clit, just to see your reaction and you involuntarily bucked your hips up, never having felt such a sensation before. Your body squirmed as he rubbed slowly circles over the fabric, your mouth threatening to cry out before he stopped, making you whine softly. Wait, princess, I’m taking it off. Will you let me?

Yes. Hurry, please. He didn’t waste time lowering your panties until they were gone and you were bare to him. You couldn’t even feel self conscious anymore due to his pleasure in just seeing you like this, and he spread out your legs even further, drinking in the sight of your dripping core. A finger pressed at the same bundle of nerves once again, circling around experimentally until you were moaning out so nicely for him, and he licked his lips.

You were already so sensitive to just his touch, but when he put his mouth where his finger once was, you swore you saw stars. He didn’t even move his lips, yet your head was still thrown back, the hands that were resting on his neck now grasping onto his hair. Jeno was already feeling out of it just seeing you completely wrecked all ready, but the heat you were under was a feeling for him as well, and god, did he want to see you more. Without knowing what he was doing even a little bit, he enclosed on the same bundle of nerves, sucking slightly and then harder, so hard that you pushed him away with a cry.

“Too much, it’s too much,” you babbled, looking at his concerned face. He shook his head, lowering himself back down to your core, opting to lick a stripe down your folds instead, watching your face. The earlier sensation was too stimulating, and you were sure that you would black out if he did it again; yet deep down you wanted him to do it, to make you feel so unbearably good to the point that you were sobbing. He used his tongue instead this time, mashing his lips against your skin in a way where he was basically making out with your clit.

The faster he kissed, the faster you felt a pressure growing low in your stomach as he continued. You wanted him to keep going, but you couldn’t seem to find the words, but he didn’t need to be told. Jeno’s hands were grasping onto your thighs to keep them planted on the bed, but you were still writhing. Even now it felt like too much, but you didn’t stop him, only tugging on his hair to let him know that you were so close. So close to what, you couldn’t even dare say in your mind, but Jeno was about to give you the first orgasm in your lifetime, and you weren’t even ready for it.

It came crashing down on you slowly, and then it was fast, your mouth letting out such a loud cry of his name that you were sure you hadn’t ever screamed like that in your life before. He slowed down just to lap up the rest of your juices, moaning at the taste and your orgasm, humming as he moved back up your body, hovering over you once again. How did that feel?

G-Good. You tried calming your breaths but it was harder than it ever had been when you practiced all those dances, the thought making you internally laugh. Really good. Like, I thought I was gonna die, good. I mean, not that I was gonna die but that felt good, yes, I liked it. God...

He smiled down at you and that was when you realized that he was still wearing all of his clothes, completely unexposed to you but when you looked down, there was a nice tent that had formed in his shorts. He read your thoughts. Princess, it’s okay, you don’t have to.

“But I want to,” you ran your fingers through his hair, looking at his with huge eyes that you knew he couldn’t refuse. “Please, I want to make you feel like that.” Your voice was almost a whine, and he sighed, laying down next to you before pulling you over his body. Well this, was not what you were expecting.

You don’t have to. You shook your head, gulping before you tugged his shirt off his body, running your hands over his abs. His breath hitched when you leaned down, pressing a kiss to his lower abdomen before pulling down the fabric of his shorts. He was hard through his boxers, and you felt him groan deeply when you let your hand palm him. Fuck. Even in your mind, his voice was so hot when he cursed, making you want to hear him do it again.

Jeno had always seen you as his pretty princess: the girl of his dreams, of his past, present, and future, but never did he imagine seeing you like this before. You were completely naked, hovering over him with your breasts dangling in perfect view as you let him grind against your hand. The sight was making it so hard to control himself, feeling himself build up already.

His cock sprung out as you lowered his boxers, leaving him bare under you. You gasped at his size, looking up at him without a filter to your thoughts. “You’re so big,” you whispered, his dick looking awfully inviting. You touched the tip with your thumb, teasing the slit just for a moment to see your boyfriend let out a muffled noise. He had already gotten so hard from your past pleasure, but your comment had only increased his arousal to the point where he thought it would be unbearable.

His eyes trained on you, watching how you gave his dick the utmost attention to the point that he thought he would cum. It was so hot, and you were barely doing anything but drawing small circles to his tip, and he threw his head back at the feeling, trying not to look away from the breathtaking view. You watched his chest rise and fall, looking down at him through your eyelashes to see his already fucked out expression.

You grasped him tightly, a little too tightly maybe because he hissed, and you loosened your grip with a mumbled apology. Remembering what you had read in that book not very long ago, you let your hand pump him once, keeping the same pressure until you lowered yourself to his cock. You let your mouth suck on the tip, watching as he threw his head back in the same fashion as you did and let out a moan of your name.

Jeno was already so close to his release, even though he was desperately trying to hold it back just for the need to feel you for a little longer, but he was already far gone when you pumped him at a faster pace. You already felt yourself getting wet once again, being straddled across his thighs, and your mouth let him go as you felt him tense up underneath you. Oh fuck, princess, you feel so good. You’re so good, god. Fuck—

He came in three huge spurts, the milky consistency making a mess all over your hand and even spilling onto his abs. You let out a loud whimper, feeling a wave of pleasure being thrown over you as you grasped onto his thighs, crying out your soulmate’s name softly as it happened. You leaned back on his legs after you calmed down, taking in how hot he looked at that moment all because of you. His hands were still grasping the sheets tightly until he let them go with a breath, his sweat-filled hair splaying out over his eyes as he finally opened them. You hadn’t even missed the way there was a soft chant of your name through your head when he came, and his voice was a deep sound of a groan when he finally focused back on you sitting atop his thighs, looking innocent as if you hadn’t just used your mouth to make him cum.

Looking back at your stained hand, you gave him a look while you let yourself lick at your fingers, cleaning up your skin. His taste was sweet, surprising you as you popped your fingers into your mouth, sucking it clean with your eyes still locked on his. He yanked you down beside him after you finished, the image of you licking up his cum painted into his mind for perhaps the rest of eternity.

“That was bold of you,” he muttered, scanning your eyes with his own as he saw a smile graze across your lips. “Yeah? You liked that? How’d I do?”

You moved closer, pressing a short kiss to his mouth to see his usual smile light up his face again, eyes scrunching cutely. Yeah, I liked it. You did good, like, hmm, really good. I guess a little too good since it, uh, kinda hurt a little before. His eyebrows furrowed in concern, the hand resting on your waist holding you a little tighter. “No! Not like it was bad, it felt good but like—really good. Like too good.”

Now you’re just trying to make me feel better, aren’t you? You know, the way you were looking at me sorta scared me—you looked like you were about to cry... Jeno’s hand moved to your face, brushing out a strand of hair that had fallen over your eyes. I don’t want to hurt you, ever, okay? If it hurts again, just tell me like you did earlier and I’ll stop.

Jeno...I promise, it didn’t hurt. You let out a sigh, feeling slightly frustrated that he wasn’t getting what you were trying to say. Wasn’t this supposed to be a little easier, considering the two of you were soulmates? The whole message conveying thing didn’t seemed to be working right now. Um, okay. I’ll explain. So you literally, uh, sucked on my—well, apparently that place is supposed to be really sensitive but I didn’t really know what it was all about so when I did my...research, I found out that it’s called the clitoris. Or like, the clit, I guess, that’s the shortened word for it.

Jeno seemed interested, but also confused. “Wait, can you show me?”

You stuttered on your thoughts at his words, humming softly before nodding. He sat up, leaning against the headboard watching as you shuffled in front of him. Erm—this is kinda weird. He shook his head, telling you that you didn’t have to feel self conscious and the thought made you calm down, your legs spreading out in front of him. Now, he couldn’t help but already feel a little aroused at the sight of your core but he also seemed pretty interested in what you were getting at.

The two of you had taken sex ed the year earlier at your respective schools, that was for sure, but it was mostly consisted of coincidentally, both of you, not even paying attention during the class that it just ended up with memorizing facts and spitting them out on paper for a grade. It wasn’t helpful, at least not very interesting to you at the time, but now that you were completely exposed in front of your boyfriend right now, you remembered back to what you learned. Needless to say, that soulmate book had taught you loads more.

You tried spreading yourself as best as you could, feeling a little more comfortable when you realized he was literally sitting in front of you completely bare as well. With simple touches, you explained the anatomy of your vagina, with Jeno listening promptly. Deep inside of him, he made a mental promise to himself to research the proper ways to pleasure you with this knowledge.

“—so, sometimes when it comes to oral stimulation,” you continued, resting your position for a moment. “It’s like, uh, really strong. Like the feeling is really high to the point where it makes us both feel good...but basically, I can feel it when you cum and vice versa. It’s pretty cool, actually.” Jeno let out a gasp of realization, pointing a finger at you as he tried to search for a memory.

I remember! Donghyuck told me once that he made his girlfriend cry and everyone else was laughing while I thought it was horrible...don’t tell me he was talking about that? He moved his finger down experimentally, touching you softly, however still making you hiss. Oh my god, I probably looked like an idiot.

You let out a little giggle at his words, seeing him pout while still staring at your pussy almost in a zoned out daze. Pulling his finger away, you gave it a little tug, gaining his attention. “It’s okay, baby. At least you know now...”

Grabbing you by the arm, he tucked the two of you back under the sheets again, leaning over quickly to switch off the lamp before cuddling you against his chest. Thanks for the little lesson there, princess. I kinda needed that. Now I can go to the library too and search for ancient books on how to make my girl cry during sex, because you seemed to be so interested about it. How does that sound? A library date for sex ed?

Shut up.

19 September

Jeno liked driving, it was almost a personality trait of his. He was good at it too, driving you around whenever you liked it, taking you here and there and everywhere. That was a knack of his, driving, since not everyone could do it so well. But he did so effortlessly, almost like it was a hobby or habit, in perfection.

It was late at night, and you were leaning in the passenger seat of your boyfriend’s car once again, taking in the air as you let you hit your face with every gust. You didn’t know where he was taking you at this time, but when he pulled into the parking lot of the once-familiar dance building, you knew it.

You were a bit confused on why he took you to the old one, the one that the two of you used to dance in all that time earlier, and just seeing the outline of the room made you nostalgic now. Jeno’s hand slipped into yours as he opened the old sliding door, dust filling your view as the lights flickered on.

After five years, the room looked exactly the same, except now sitting unused and forgotten in the building that was now using a few rooms for karate. The mirrors were still up, sending you and Jeno the reflection that had always been there for the two of you. In the outline of your body, you could still see the thirteen year old girl who had swiped up her hair into a ponytail every day just to let her passion out for dance. You glanced at where your hands were meeting, clasped for comfort as you focused on Jeno.

There was somewhere deep in your soul that remembered the dusty brown-haired boy that had watched you in awe as you took the lead, the same one that had fallen to his knees in front of you and sobbed his heart out on the very familiar day of finding he was your lover. He heard your thoughts, his lip quirking up as he gestured to the area of the room where you had first touched him, the place where you had taken a leap of faith and put your hand down on his heavy shoulder.

Silence followed throughout the room, but at the same time, it wasn’t silent. It was so loud. Yet it was loud in the most beautiful way, the only sweet sound being the constant conversation between you and your love, never ending and never tiring the either of you. Can you believe it’s been five years?

No. I can’t. He squeezed your hand, looking at you through the mirror he had watched you through for years before. I can’t believe I’ve had you for so long, princess. It’s kind of strange, right? Seeing ourselves in this mirror again?

Yeah. Jeno looked the same now, the same handsome boy with moves that he always underestimated, the same boy that had given you your first everything. It feels weird. Like...we were never gone.

He hummed, rubbing his thumb over the skin of your hand before pulling you alongside him as he walked to the front of the room, planting his feet in the same position he was all that time ago. Looking over at you, you knew what to do when you stood in front of him, seeing his eyes glowing from the bright lighting that hadn’t faded even after so long.

Because it hadn’t, the light could never fade from your vision, because Jeno was always there: now and forever. He was like the light of your soul, the one piece of you that made up who you were with every single breath you took each day. And you could never see it fade, not for as long as the two of you had each other.

You remembered what Jeno said to you, not that long ago on a dark winter night when the two of you were wondering about the future, the thoughts filling your shared mind again.

It’s a soulmate thing. There’s never a ‘till death do us part.’ Because we don’t, we don’t ever part. We’ll be together in this life, and the next, and the next one after that. It’ll go on forever, just like it’s supposed to. Got it?

Jeno smiled.

Got it.

There are only so many of us born at a time and we are thrown into the world to find each other, to find the other ones who don't think you're strange, who understand your jokes, your smile, the way you talk.

There are only so many of us born at a time and we only have so long to find each other before we die.

But we have to try.

#you are me #yam #jeno smut #jeno fics #jeno fluff #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct dream fluff #minas smut work

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pinkhairedlily · 3 years

Text

Every Glance A Step Closer

Prompt: Glances | AO3 link here. Connect with me on Twitter. Happy SS Month everyone! 🌸🍅🥗 @ssskmonth

“This one barely goes out of her laboratory. I swear to god she smells like formaline.”

“He smells like the dust and cobwebs in the library. I cannot even pronounce what he’s doing – archi…something. I just know he handles lots of old papers and books. B-o-r-i-n-g.”

“So anyway, Haruno Sakura meet Uchiha Sasuke.”

This was her one free day in her experiment period week, but she needed to steam off for a night and so she allowed her friend to tug her along for a chill night drink. What Sakura didn’t expect was to socialize with a small group of people in their year and to suffer the cold indifference of the guy in front of her.

To her another surprise, he held out a hand to her. “Hello there.” She took it, slightly conscious whether she used her formaline-cancelling hand lotion. A brief and firm shake and he quicky turned away.

“Sasuke finally speaks.”

“That hello sounded a little spicier.”

“Oh my, that hand holding definitely had some electricity.”

The cajoling and teasing finally stopped when the first round of beers came in. Local university gossip was the go-to conversation opener, from the open secret student-teacher relationships to recent couple break-ups. It eventually led to Sasuke and his list of confessions.

“I heard you turned down Mio from fashion design department.”

“No way. I heard she was approached by Celine for a gig.”

“Really Sasuke? That makes her the fifth girl you dumped for this week alone.”

“You never actually had a girlfriend, did you?”

Sakura stared at him doe-eyed, genuinely curious of his answer. He returned her gaze and raised one brow. “I have high standards.”

Oh wow, what a douche, Sakura thought. Hoots erupted in their table but only for a few seconds. While the drinking and the exchanges went on, Sakura found herself wanting to go home early. She was bored and her neck was tired from not looking at him. Under the guise of stretching her already strained neck, she stole a glance, hoping to have a brief moment to take in all of his features and remember his face.

But he was already looking at her. His eyes went to the door of the restaurant then back to her. Bored? He mouthed.

Sakura looked at the door, knowing perfectly what he meant. She chugged her supposedly last bottle of beer and made a small gap with her thumb and index finger. He caught her signal and started to stand up. Their group was tipsy enough not to notice their sudden movements as they shuffled out of the door.

She halted after a few steps, Sasuke’s figure already paces in front of her, wondering whether she should say goodbye or just walk towards the opposite direction back to her apartment. She didn’t think too much of it and quickly chose the latter.

She had to get ice cream first though, a sugar rush to help jolt her senses awake. She was choosing between chocolate and strawberry when a large figure stood beside her.

“A vanilla one, please,” Sasuke said, looking smug with his hands both in his pockets. “Your treat.”

Sakura felt weirded out by the fact that he actively kept on engaging her. His reputation preceded him, but she decided to humor him for tonight. “So library science and you’re an archivist.”

“Intern archivist actually. So you actually know me.” There was arrogance in his voice that made Sakura almost choke on her ice cream.

“Process of elimination. There is no male major in our year in the History department.” She glanced at him and saw that smug look slowly transition into a slight flush of embarrassment. Cute.

“And what if it was a hobby?” Sasuke fiddled with his still unopened vanilla ice cream.

“There was a job posting in the bulletin specifically calling for Library Science students.” Their feet led them to the park still bustling with university night life and settled on a bench under the canopy of a fully bloomed dogwood tree. “See, I’m not your admirer.”

“Well, that’s a downer,” he smirked.

They talked like that for a while, fleetingly exploring related topics to their degree programs, the usual prominent teachers, the busy schedules, until Sakura finished her chocolate and strawberry popsicles. It was on her way home, finally this time, that she realized he never ate his ice cream.

--------------------------

She next saw him on their building’s rooftop with a group of friends, a piece of unsmoked cigarette in between his fingers. He quickly met her eyes, did a brief nod, and looked away. She inadvertently expected more than that but she wasn’t here for a smoke break, and it wasn’t her intention to take it further. She was here for a quick getaway from her microscope and to appreciate the city view dotted with the flowers of spring.

He kept glancing her way, however. He would be in the middle of a conversation and his eyes would stray to her, and she would catch it in her periphery, trying not to notice it. She got tired after a few repetitions of this, and the next time he glanced, she caught his gaze.

Stop it, she mouthed.

I’m bored, he mouthed back. Walk with me. His fingers mimicked the gesture, his fingers walking in the air.

She put her hands together and slightly bowed in apology. Next time, she winked at him before running back to her laboratory, a small smile painted on her lips.

--------------------------

It became like this for the next few weeks; they conversed through glances and awkward gestures whenever they were in public with their friends. When it was time to come home, they would walk in separate ways and meet again in the park under the same dogwood tree and they would converse for hours. It was mostly Sakura word-vomiting about her experiments while Sasuke would look at her with abandoned fascination.

“Stop doing that,” Sakura called him out one time.

“Stop doing what?” Sasuke asked, his ember eyes never leaving her face.

“You stare too much I feel like I’m melting.”

Sasuke made a small grunt and wore his hoodie over his head to mess with her more. He waved his hands on both sides of his face, and she immediately understood the reference of a horse having its blinders on. “Good because usually I’m the one being stared at.”

Sakura reached out to his hoodie and tightened the strings around his neck. “You’re hopeless.”

He leaned forward, almost touching her lips, his face still between her palms. “Hmm, maybe I am.”

Sakura moved away just as quickly as he moved into her personal space, a hot flush creeping to her cheeks. She hated this particular situation since blushing always made her look like a cherry tomato.

“Cute.” Sasuke apparently said his thoughts aloud because he was taken aback the moment she glanced back at him. “Cool, I said cool.”

She laughed this off just as he completely covered his face inside his hoodie.

--------------------------

She visited the basement section of the library for reference materials. Her writeup was due tomorrow and she was missing a section on historical evolution of vaccines and dosages for the viral DNA she uncovered. The small library slip in her hand, she made her way to the dimly lit rows on Biology. The shelves were twice taller than her, but there were spaces in between stacked books.

Would make it very easy to spot a ghost, Sakura chided to herself. A shadow moved along the row adjacent to the Biology section, but she dismissed this as the library staff. Her fingers traced the spines of ragged books and examined the list of recommended titles in her hand. When she raised her head, ember eyes stared back at her between the spaces of the opposite row.

Hi, Sasuke mouthed. He glanced around and seeing no one, he whispered, “Can I come over to your side?”

She found it hard to stop her grin from rising. “More eyes, the better.”

It took only a few minutes for Sasuke to find all the titles in her list, but they littered around, walking in between shelves, taking one random book and flipping its pages, stopping when they find something interesting. When heavy footfalls were heard on the stairs, Sakura inclined her head, gesturing she needed to go.

Sasuke seemed to misunderstand as he pulled her through the sleeve of her cardigan to the area further behind the room, and as the shadows grew darker, and the noise became more muted, she heard the racing beat of her heart.

Finally reaching the wall, Sasuke slumped to the floor and patted the space beside him. Sakura followed suit, consciously leaving a space between them as she was slowly becoming hyper-aware of their proximity.

“How are you faring so far? Done with the requirements?” Sasuke asked, his voice low but audible enough for her.

Sakura nodded, and after beat, rolled her eyes at him. “Shouldn’t you be out there assisting others?”

“I believe you need more immediate help.” Sasuke pulled his knees in to rest his chin on and trained his eyes on her. “Sakura.”

“Sasuke.”

The longest minute of silence hung between them, tension strung by the stare, until Sakura broke it off with her eyes shifting to the floor. “What are you doing?”

“Flirting,” he said like it’s a matter-of-fact. “This is what they usually do to me.”

“And what should I do?” She let the words roll out of her mouth, unsure why she asked, uncertain also of what he felt. She met his gaze again.

And in that moment, he just sincerely looked at her. “Flirt back.”

--------------------------

Sakura was done for the school year. She will be officially graduating in a month, and to celebrate, she went out with their group for a sem-ender discotheque clubbing. She was gonna shoot her shot for a one-night stand with literally anyone who had chemistry with her – haha she was just kidding. As this seemed to be the final cap-off to her university life, she went all out with her clothes Sakura-style – basically a boxy cropped tea, high waisted jeans, and old heels her best friend gave to her in pity.

This was actually her first club experience, but she was glad to be with veteran friends. The first few minutes inside a closed space with bass boosted, unfamiliar crowds, and lots of skinship made her very uncomfortable. Her only reprieve was the free-flowing drinks – ironically she can handle alcohol well. The disco lights would have made it difficult to spot faces, but she found him in the dark, on the corner directly across her group, his eyes already glued on her.

She wondered if he ever forgave her for scrambling out of his presence in the reference section last time, explicitly avoiding his request to flirt back. It seemed like she worried for nothing since Sasuke raised his glass to her and mouthed congratulations. She raised her glass back, resolving to mind her own business tonight. But he kept looking, a smirk etched on his beautiful face, urging her to meet him halfway.

She didn’t need to look for an excuse as her friends suddenly pulled her into the harmless mosh pit of friendly grinding. Sakura allowed herself to move to the beat, enjoying the bubble offered by the club to lose herself for a few seconds. But she kept glancing towards his direction, his eyes looking for her in the mass of bodies. At first, the glances were mischievous, like playing hide-and-seek, then they held gravity, heavy lidded and palpable.

Sasuke was impatient, and soon enough, at her next spin on her heels, he was right behind her, his hands hovering over her arms, seeking consent to touch. Sakura turned to face him, one part shy, other parts unnerved, and she slowly encircled her arms around his neck, her eyes a definite yes. His hands went to her waist, and he brought her closer to his embrace.

“You don’t have your hoodie though,” Sakura said, a little louder over the crooning of Carly Rae Jepsen to Gimmie Love. “Someone will definitely see you.”

Sasuke closed whatever distance was between them and brought his lips to her ears. “That’s a relief then. I want to be seen with you.”

“Simp,” Sakura teased. “You’re probably expecting a confession out of me, aren’t you?” This was a long time coming and she wanted to get it over with tonight especially when she had alcohol buzzing on her side.

“I am actually,” Sasuke said. “I was hoping to beat you to it in the library last time, but you ran away. Coward.”

“What?”

“What? Didn’t you hear me?”

“You like me.” Sakura said in realization. She edged her face away from his hold to take a good look at his embarrassed face. “Oh, you really do.”

“You could be dense sometimes, Sakura.” Sasuke poked her forehead playfully, and he was rewarded with a bubbly laughter from her.

Their friends finally noticed them and the intense skinship happening. The yells and woots started to drown out the speakers.

“That took you two long enough, huh?”

“They really waited for the end of the school year to do their big reveal.”

“As if the whole school doesn’t know already.”

“What?” Sasuke and Sakura asked in unison.

“It was the constant eyesmex.”

“Really, they do it every time with no shame. It gives me secondhand embarrassment.”

“Right? Sometimes I think I need to yell get a room.”

“Maybe they’ll get a room tonight.”

“Oh my god, shut up."

🌸 It's my first time participating actively for SS Month so please go easy on me haha. Work is loosely inspired by Nevertheless webtoon (which now has a Netflix adaptation). Hope you enjoyed reading!

#ssm21 #sasusaku month #sasusaku #ssm21d1 #uchiha sasuke #haruno sakura #sasuke #sakura #fanfic #anime fanfiction

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heavensenthearty · 4 years

Note

It's not that I hate Aang or anything, I just think it's really crappy that the is so dead set on following the monks' teachings when it comes to killing Ozai but when it comes to following the monks' teachings about relationships and attatchment, he's like "never mind that shit. I wanna bang Katara! My girl! She belongs to me!"

Oh, hi!! 👋🏽😃

No, no, I completely agree with you. 100%. In fact, I'm glad that you brought up the issue about Aang's physical attraction to Katara because, the more you look at it, the more it seems that was everything his own one-sided crush had going for it.

Katara is a very beautiful young girl, so much that Aang becomes infatuated by her at first sight. He stares at her for insanely long amounts of time, he blushes whenever she's trying on new outfits. All of that is pretty blatant, he is very attracted to her. But there's little effort put into adding a romantic subtext to their other interactions, which are the ones that count. What I mean is, the trick of the "friends to lovers" trope is that a platonic relationship grows into a romantic one gradually, their interactions don't become explicitly romantic but it is clear both of them are putting their feelings out in the line. It's them talking about their respective feelings and struggles and being supported in return. That's not what happens with Kataang.

Whenever Aang and Katara get to talk, it is only Katara consoling him over the hardships of being the Avatar or awakening in a world 100 years into the future. Her own feelings are never even mentioned. Katara is quite literally pushed to the side while Aang gets out of everything smelling like roses, The Fortune-teller portrays this quite well: Aunt Wu was a phony, so it's almost positive none of her predictions were ever true, but Katara is the only one on Team Avatar who is left behind believing they were and that she is unchangeably destined to marry a powerful bender; meanwhile, even tho Aang learns the prediction about his love life was fake, he also learns that he has the power to shape his destiny into whatever he wants. What he wants is to get together with the girl he likes.

There's not one scene were Aang is truly paying attention to Katara's feelings. He dismissed her as "being jealous" when she was trying for them to continue their quest to save the world just because he liked the attention of the Kyoshi Island girls, he would rather play with butterflies than focusing on helping Katara get Haru out of prison, he didn't lift a finger after seeing Katara heartbroken by Jet, he hid a letter from her father whom she hadn't seen in years, he didn't listen to her when she told him to stop practicing firebending without Jeong Jeong's supervision, he downplayed her challenge and rightful anger to Pakku, he lashed out at her and straight up yelled she wasn't doing anything after Appa was lost; and I know many people could argue that he did all of this just on Book One and then during a moment when he was emotionally compromised, but I would like for those people to tell me a single moment after Book One where Aang gets a little hindsight on Katara's mind.

...

I thought so.

And sure, I remember The Painted Lady. I also remember how he didn't lift a finger either to support Katara when she was arguing with Sokka about helping the village, and then how he threw Katara under the bus because "[he] didn't find out she was the Painted Lady until [that] morning."

None of this is Aang's fault, tho. The story was too plot-driven to focus much on the characters.

And since I'm on full rant now and last night I was so focused on sacrifice and expressions of love, there's not even a single moment were Aang performs an act of true love for Katara.

Katara is constantly proving she loves him and the rest of the GAang by being their resident caregiver, cooking for them, doing chores, giving advices, being as selfless as possible. Aang never does anything like this for her. The only moment when he had the chance to make a real sacrifice and act of love for her was during The Guru.

Let's look at the consequences of him letting go of his attachment to Katara from both of their perspectives:

For Katara, it would have been great! Because she wanted him to achieve the Avatar State! That's literally what she has always wanted and dreamed of, for the Avatar to come ready to save the world.

For Aang, let's divide it.

From a conscious level, it wouldn't have been so great because letting go of his attachment is scary. I don't think he was being necessarily selfish, I think he was being a 12-yo child being told to let go of what he thinks is the only thing he has on this world. From a subconscious and spiritual level, it would have been great, too, because it would give him the chance to grow in more ways than one. The show didn't portray this very well, you know, because letting go of earthly attachment doesn't mean things or people lose significance to you. It's exactly what it says it is, letting go. Setting them free.

And at the end he chose to not let Katara be free.

I know the common argument that he "sacrificed" the Avatar State for Katara, but I repeat, Katara wanted him to get to the Avatar State. And that argument doesn't even take Aang into account because he didn't even want to get to the Avatar State if it meant letting go of Katara. For the way he later lies and talks about it to Iroh, the immediate threat posed over Katara was both a reason of concern and an escape for not having to make a real sacrifice.

Yes, let's compare it to Zuko jumping in front of lightning for Katara.

Zuko wanted and needed to win the throne, or else everything for what he has been working for and everything he has lost would be in vain. Furthermore, it was his life what was at risk here! There was a really, really, really big chance that if he jumped like that in front of Azula's lightning bolt it would be over for him! Whatever happened to the Fire Nation and the rest of the world, he wouldn't be there to see it! He threw all that away for Katara in — as it was shown onscreen — less than a blink!

And for showing sacrifices don't even have to be a sign of romantic love: maybe he's not up to Katara's level, but Sokka has pushed his own beliefs aside for his sister's sake. In fact, he was the one that came to shield her from the angry villagers in The Painted Lady while Aang just stared, and reminded them all how she was the one that saved them even when he hadn't approved of her actions before that.

Hakoda went to fight in the war to protect his family.

Heck, even Toph has let her walls down and asked Katara for help to write a letter to her parents!

Point is that all the people that love Katara for who she is repay the effort she puts on them by taking her safety, her opinions, her ideas, and her feelings into account.

The only person who hasn't ever repay her for her hard work is...

...

(wait for it)...

...

Aang.

He wasn't even being hypocrite in The Southern Raiders, he was being plain cruel because when he snapped at Katara in The Dessert, she just stood there and quietly took it for allowing him to let out some of the anger. Now when she's the one to snap at him, his answer is painting himself as the most knowledgeable person on loss and grief, and reminding her of the exact same episode when he used her as a verbal punching bag for doing so.

And now that you mention it, Aang not only ignores the monks teachings about relationships alone. I've said it before, he's a "monk" that lies and steals.

I've also explained it saying he's not a bad person, he's just a child, and he these things seem unimportant for him at this point of his life. That's why I think he shouldn't be preaching anyone any time soon.

#whoa! that was long!#anti kataang #anti bryke #anti aang #zutara #atla #katara #zuko #sokka #water tribe sibling #zuko x katara #avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of aang

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Note

Could u write a headcanon for being tony starks niece and dating steve rogers while being shy and really cute?💕

A/N: I am so so so so sorry I'm just now getting around to these. Life has been really, really busy lately on my end and I swear, I wasn't trying to avoid you. Thank you so much for sending me this it was really cute idea and I had a blast imagining this. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

CHARACTER;

Steve Rogers | Captain America (with hints of Tony Stark as your/readers uncle)

WARNINGS;

None, nada, nein. This one is squeaky clean.

TAGGING MY MARVEL BABES;

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@kyleoreillysknee

@micolegg

@mrsstevenbuchananstark

OTHER FUN THINGS;

[ faq | tag list | nsfw masterlist | sfw masterlist | request info ]

Your apartment was having emergency repairs done to it, thanks to a pipe freezing and bursting. You only just moved to town to work as a secretary for Stark Industries, you really only knew your uncle Tony, so naturally, that’s where you went to stay. Tony was throwing another one of his parties, surprise.. The rest of his ‘team’ were there and while you enjoyed meeting them, you just kind of clicked with Steve the best. You’re both quiet.. Reserved. Not a fan of huge gatherings at all. He actually found you at one point during said party, sitting out on the balcony of the tower and stargazing. He’d wandered out to get some fresh air and you struck up a conversation. You’ve always been into astronomy and the like, so you were telling him the stories behind the constellations and pointing them out and whether you knew it or not, he was hanging on your every word.

Over the next few days, the two of you always just seemed to find each other. If you were in a room together, you always caught yourself looking up just in time to meet his gaze. While he may be reserved and a bit old fashioned, Steve just isn’t the kind of man who is going to bother hiding the fact that he’s staring at you. And he’s too blunt to hide the fact that he’s flirting with you, although you don’t really pick up on that at first…

You’re grabbing coffee before work and you happen to run into him coming back from his morning run with Sam. When Sam kind of laughs and mentions that Steve talks about you a lot and it’s nice to finally meet you, it does kind of make you all weak in the knees and you actually feel yourself blushing. But you also have enough sense to dismiss it as Steve just telling one friend about another. Steve’s kind of grumpy about Sam’s teasing, but he kind of shrugs it off. You wind up getting talked into breakfast with Steve and Sam because Steve realizes that you haven’t eaten yet and he insists that you eat before you go to work. Then he winds up walking you to the office, too. He gets hit on by one of the other secretaries but he kind of like… Laughs her off? But it’s because he’s made his mind up, he wants to pursue you. You’re surprised when you walk out of the building after you’re off work for the day and you find him waiting. Leaned against that old motorcycle of his and grinning as you approach. He talks you into grabbing a bite at a diner near the Tower, and then insists on escorting you back to your own place since you were finally able to go home.

You two spend so much time together that Natasha finally corners you up and asks if there’s something going on. Which your uncle hears and says “There better not be! I told the guy to leave you alone.” which prompts you to kind of tease him and laugh it off before answering Natasha when he’s left the room. “There isn’t… but lately I feel like I wouldn’t mind at all if there was.” Natasha kind of teases you about your ‘crush’ but she tells you that she thinks Steve feels the same way and she points out that it’s a ‘new world’.. Meaning maybe you should make the first move. Just the thought has you flustered and perplexed. So you put the idea out of your head for a while and things continue at a sweet and slow pace between you and Steve.

He asks you on your first actual date around July. He takes you to a fireworks show at a little park nearby and there’s music playing and he asks you to dance despite nobody else around you two dancing. When he helps you off the blanket on the ground, he pulls you completely against him and there’s this.. Look in his eyes. “What?” you’re giggling when you ask, but then Steve mutters something about not caring what your uncle thinks and he crashes his mouth against yours.

If you spent a lot of time together before, you’re spending practically every second together after that date. And Tony, bless his heart, he’s a big baby about it. A huuuge baby. He practically raised you, so you’re the closest he has to a child until he finally has his own and even though you’re an adult, he still feels really protective.

He corners Steve up and they have a ‘serious discussion’ (™) about everything. Steve is honest. He tells your uncle that he has nothing but good intentions and this seems to ease Tony. He’s still mildly annoyed whenever you two are snuggled up together watching some old movie or one of your newer television shows at night in the common space everyone uses in the tower, but he can look at you and tell you’re really, really happy.

“MY EYES. ARGH. GET A ROOM.” - this comes from Tony’s mouth a lot.

A lot of via Facetime PDA and flirting when they’re off on a mission to save the world. Steve keeps a picture of you two with his things and it goes everywhere with him.

He calls most women doll, but there’s this certain tone he gets when he’s talking to you.. It makes your knees weak every single time. Natasha admits at one point that she knew Steve really liked you a lot because she noticed a distinct difference in the way he says doll to other women and when he says it to you.

He likes to carry you around. He also likes to gently tease you about the fact that you’re as short as you are and fluff your hair. He loves the way you have to stand on your tiptoes and pull him down by the collar of his jacket or his tie if he’s wearing one to kiss him.

You two literally cannot fight, it ends in laughter. Tony remarks at one point that it’s ‘so sweet’ how you two are with each other that he needs to go to the dentist to get checked for cavities.

If you’re working from home, he’s really good about not letting you overwork yourself, distracting you when he thinks you need a break. Rubbing your shoulders while he’s standing behind you.

The man can absolutely cook. And it’s amazing, holy shit. You don’t know where he learned a lot of the stuff he’s made you, but it’s really,really good.

Breakfast in bed whenever you sleep over at his apartment.

Lots of star-gazing and long motorcycle rides.

Also, lots of you worrying whenever he leaves for a mission because you know he won’t back down from anything, no matter how dangerous it may seem. Lots of Steve being a bit overprotective at times, but it being totally adorable.

He’s just such a gentleman.

#captain america #mcu #mcu fanfiction #mcu headcanons #mcu fics #captain america fanfiction #captain america headcanons #my writing;captain america #my headcanons;captain america #my fics;captain america #// sorry this took so long. life has been busy af lately.#// im going to try to answer all the asks in my inbox asap now that i'm back though #// thank you guys sooo much for sending them in and being patient!#// hope this is what you asked for anon!#// also apologies in advance bc I am... so rusty #// so so rusty

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paperbodiesamongthestars · 4 years

Text

Promises

He didn't have a lot of friends. That required trust, and trust just wasn’t something Billy Hargrove did. Except with Steve Harrington, apparently. Steve was his friend, which was fine. Billy would have preferred a lot more, but that did not seem particularly likely. Not for lack of trying on Billy's part, honestly. At this point, Billy was so overtly flirty with Steve that he was worried he had overshot genuine interest and was fast approaching the realm of parody. He had spilled his beer on Steve no fewer than four times in the past several months in the hopes that Steve would go to change out of his wet clothes and realize halfway through that just...hanging out in his underwear would be totally fine. Instead, Steve always disappeared into Billy's bedroom, completely at home in Billy's space, and came back wearing Billy's clothes. And that was somehow worse?

And the thing was—the thing was!—Steve clearly wasn’t uninterested. He blushed when Billy teased him. His breath hitched when Billy touched him sometimes. His pupils went wide when Billy stretched or flexed or did that one thing with his tongue. And he didn’t avoid touching Billy, like just about everybody else did, or touch him like he was something fragile or broken. He touched Billy casually all the fucking time. He hugged him when he arrived, and fell asleep against his shoulder, and tucked his feet under Billy’s thigh on the couch, and kissed him on the cheek before he left. He even kissed him on the fucking forehead sometimes, which made Billy feel small and blushy and unbearably cared for.

Billy wondered sometimes if he should just be honest with Steve, but that was tricky, wasn’t it? Because in this particular case, he couldn’t be honest with Steve without betraying a little too much about himself. And it’s not like he had all that many secrets left. Neil was gone and his treatment of Billy was common knowledge, at least among the people who knew what had actually happened at the mall. So, the vast majority of the people Billy actually talked to anymore. It turned out that competent doctors could tell the difference between recent monster trauma and years of physical abuse, and Steve's little group of nerds and their various hangers-on were around enough and had overheard enough to put it together. The fact that Billy was not actually into girls was also common knowledge among that same subset of people, but only because Billy had been in a coma, so he hadn't been able to mention to Eleven that she might not want to share that little tidbit with her friends. Billy wasn’t mad—couldn’t be, not at her—and with Neil gone, he supposed he had a little less to fear on that front. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to do anything about it, aside from continuing to flirt shamelessly with Steve. So he only really had the one big secret left.

Here's how it was: Billy Hargrove, at the time that he was impaled by a massive interdimensional flesh monster, did not have a whole lot to live for. He had a shitty father and a mother who had fucked off quite a while back and a stepsister who had not yet given up on him for some reason, but who was also probably better off without him. He had a hopeless crush on a gorgeous, oblivious straight boy; several delightful mental images of that same straight boy in a frankly pornographic sailor outfit that he somehow had to wear for work; and treasured memories of California, but not quite enough money or guts to fuck off back to the beach where he came from, with or without Steve Harrington. All of that stuff was good, and it got Billy through the day sometimes, but none of it was actually something to live for. Steve Harrington in that sailor outfit came the closest, but Billy was never going to get to take it off of him, so what was the fucking point?

And Billy knew, even though he didn't exactly remember it, that it had gotten pretty bad for him a few times as he was recovering. Like, 'they were sure they were going to lose him' bad. And people had said a lot of fucking stupid things to him, both while he was in the hospital and after he got out, about fate and love and redemption. About holding on for the sake of the people you cared about. About not knowing what you had until you lost it. About how he must feel so lucky to be alive. And Billy hated all of it so fucking much. He wasn't alive because he had had some big epiphany about how precious life was, or because fate had spared him, or because he thought anyone on the planet would spend more than about thirty seconds being sad if he died. What he did have, what had actually kept him going when it got bad, were these...well, they weren’t anywhere close to clear enough to be called memories.

They came from that long, hazy period when his body was gradually knitting itself back together. When the boundary between being asleep and being awake hadn't seemed real at all. When he had almost no visual memories, aside from brief flashes of fluorescent lights or the shadows of people moving around above him. He had a handful of half-remembered phrases in various voices: Max whispering sorry, El whispering I won't tell. And these...other sentences. These promises, in Steve Harrington’s low, husky voice.

Billy was in no way certain that they were real. He didn't know how much of anything from that time was real. What they were was meaningful, which made it fucking impossible to talk about them. Unlike all the bullshit about fate and family and redemption, they had helped him. Had helped a lot, actually. Had given him something tangible to live for when it would have been so much easier to just let it all slip away. But that was the other thing--they weren't exactly things that Steve Harrington would actually, conceivably say to him. They were things he would have killed to hear from Steve, would still kill to hear from Steve, but Steve was sweet. Goofy, affectionate, kind. Unfailingly supportive. An invaluable friend throughout Billy's recovery. An invaluable friend who consistently, gracefully deflected Billy’s obvious flirting. It hardly seemed possible that he had said those things, and Billy really didn’t want to find out that he hadn’t. It was too awful to contemplate. Because, shit, they still kept him going sometimes, a year and a half later.

The first one came to him from far away, like he was hearing it from the bottom of a well. “I swear to God, Billy, if you make it through this I’ll let you choke on my dick whenever you feel like it.” So, like, there was a fair amount to unpack there. First of all, Steve almost never actually called him Billy, even now. And secondly, literally everything else about that sentence. It wasn't possible that it was real. Billy had to have made it up, given himself a fucking reason not to move toward the light or whatever. And if that had been the only one, he would have dismissed it as an obvious fabrication of his own mind without a second thought. But it wasn’t.

The second one was a little clearer, though all of them were maddeningly hazy. Had he actually felt Steve’s breath against the shell of his ear while he'd said it? It was impossible to say. “Hey gorgeous, hang in there, ok? Wouldn’t want you to die before I get the chance to fuck you so hard you forget your own goddamn name.” It was true—he absolutely did not want to die before that happened. That one had gotten him through some bleak nights, even after he woke up. He still got half hard every time he thought about it.

The next one was maybe Billy’s favorite. Although, honestly they were all his favorite. He wasn't sure he had ever treasured anything more. The third time, he was almost sure he could feel the warmth radiating off of Steve’s body as Steve leaned in next to his ear. “Come on, tiger, you gotta get through this so you can show me absolutely everything you can do with that tongue.” A little less filthy, maybe, but no less motivating. He did want to do that, very much. He had thought about it quite a bit while he was in the hospital. He still thought about it just about every time Steve came over to his apartment, which was often.

The fourth one changed it up a bit. “We’re going to sit there on the sand and watch the sun set over the ocean, and I’m going to make you cream your swim trunks right there on the beach.” And goddamn, that was quite the mental image. Fuck a bunch of holding on for the people you cared about; that was worth living for.

The fifth one was ragged, a little desperate. “You can’t die, baby. I’ve never let anybody put their dick in me before, and you have to live so you can do it.” That one came with the gentle sensation of a hand in his, the phantom press of lips to his temple. He was pretty sure he woke up just a few days after that one. And rightfully fucking so, honestly.

So yeah. He still had the one secret. And there was no fucking way to talk about it without revealing way too much about himself. So he didn't talk about it, and he was never going to talk about it, and he was going to go to his grave not knowing if any of it was real, and he was going to be fine with that because there weren't any other options. Until Steve slipped up.

It was far too early on a Saturday morning. Steve had arrived at an even more ungodly hour and had dragged Billy out of bed for some weekend trip. He wouldn't say where they were going, but he promised it was going to be great, and Billy could sleep in the car, and they were going to have the time of their lives. So Billy was slouched grumpily in the passenger seat, nursing an enormous coffee and periodically glaring at everything out the window for having the audacity to exist at this hour. He didn't glare at Steve. All of this was Steve's fault, but Billy couldn't be mad at him when he looked all sleepy and his hair was a mess and he was wearing his fucking glasses instead of his usual contacts. Billy couldn't be mad at him under any other circumstances either, but he deliberately didn't think too much about that, so it was fine.

Billy watched out of the corner of his eye as Steve sipped his own coffee and stifled a yawn. Steve had spent the first half hour of the drive not talking at all, but the coffee was apparently kicking in, so now he was trying to get Billy excited about his mystery plan.

“Come on, tiger, you’re going to love it,” he finally said. Billy wasn’t fully awake, so it took a second for it to land. Come on, tiger. When it did, Billy’s head snapped up, eyes wide. It could easily have been a coincidence; Steve would have been fine if he had just played it off, but that's not what happened. When Billy looked up, Steve was staring intently out the windshield, resolutely not looking at him. But his shoulders were creeping up around his ears and his face had gone scarlet. Billy felt a grin spreading across his face. Suddenly, he was on top of the goddamn world; this was shaping up to be the best day of his life. He stared at Steve’s profile for a long moment as the flush from his face spread down his neck. The atmosphere in the car was electric. Billy took a deep breath and tried to get himself under control. Steve's entire demeanor had hope beating wildly in his chest, but there was still room for this to end in disappointment.

“Absolutely everything, huh?” Billy said it quietly, carefully, deliberately, and then he held his breath. Steve made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, and Billy felt giddy. Steve had been right--they had only been on the road for forty minutes, but Billy was already having the time of his life on this trip. Steve didn't say anything, but after a few long moments of silence, he pulled the car over onto the shoulder. After he carefully put the car in park and turned it off, he dropped his forehead to the steering wheel. He didn't lift his head when he spoke.

“I didn't think you remembered," he said slowly. Billy didn't say anything and after a moment, Steve gave a little sigh and continued, still talking mostly to the floor. "The first time, it was a fucking Hail Mary. You were declining fast and nothing was working, and I just...I had a hunch. So I waited until everyone else had left the room and I tried it." Billy was absolutely delighted picturing it, Steve flushed bright red, leaning down to whisper stuff about his dick into Billy's ear. "They kicked me out right after that, at about four am. They told me to go home and get some rest, and to be prepared for bad news. But when I got back to the hospital a few hours later, you were doing better.” Steve cleared his throat. “Apparently you started improving shortly after I left. I told myself it was probably a fucking coincidence, but part of me thought that maybe it had actually worked." He huffed out a laugh. "I could barely fucking believe that you weren’t dead; it was bad. And then a couple of weeks later, it got bad again. So I tried it again. And you started doing better again. And then it was like this secret that we had. That I had,” Steve corrected himself. He sat up and dropped his head back against the headrest, but he still wouldn't look at Billy. He stared out the windshield instead. His face was still bright red. “And then you actually woke up. I didn’t know if you remembered any of it, and I didn’t want to be the kind of person who would come onto you while you were in a fucking coma and then act like you owed me something afterwards, so I kept my mouth shut.”

"Steve," Billy said softly. Steve rubbed his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry," he said, and Billy stopped breathing for a second.

"Don't," he said quietly. They sat in silence for a long moment, and then Billy decided that he had to know what exactly Steve was apologizing for. “Did you...” he started to ask, but he found that he couldn’t finish the sentence. Steve glanced at him and his face softened before his eyes shied away again.

“Mean it? Yes. Fuck yes. Every word.”

“Then what the fuck, Steve?” Billy had been beyond obvious for months. Steve sighed. His hands came back up to his face, and then he sat up straighter and squared his shoulders.

“You just...you went through something so awful, and it was like...your world got so small. You were trapped in the hospital, and now you're trapped in Hawkins until they clear you to leave." Steve glanced over again, and his voice got smaller. "I just...I really wanted you, but I didn't want you to do something you'd regret just because I was there, you know? And I still don't want you to feel trapped into something just because you can't leave this goddamn town. I would never want you to be with me just because you don't have any other choices."

Ok, so there was plenty to unpack there, and all of it was wrong. Except the part where Steve said he wanted Billy--that part was the best thing he had ever heard. Well, the sixth best thing he'd ever heard. There was a silence while Billy thought about what he wanted to say. He took a breath to psych himself up.

"The first thing you should probably know is that I was into you well before any of the Mindflayer stuff even happened. So there's that." Billy cleared his throat, watching Steve out of the corner of his eye. "And the second thing you should know is that I got cleared to leave Hawkins over a month ago." Steve's head whipped around, wide eyes on Billy's face.

"Then why..." Steve trailed off. Billy had considered leaving, but only briefly. He wanted to go back to the beach, he did, but not by himself. Not anymore.

"Steve," Billy said again, giving Steve a look. "You know why." After all, Billy had been the opposite of subtle about it. Steve just stared at him, eyes going impossibly wider as Billy deliberately took off his seatbelt and moved into Steve's space. "But fine, if you need me to spell it out, I'm definitely not in this car with you right now because I don't have any other options."

He leaned in and pressed his lips to Steve's. Steve responded immediately and enthusiastically, and something that had still been wound tight in Billy's chest eased. By the time they broke apart to breathe, Billy was practically in Steve's lap, both of his hands up under Steve's shirt. Steve had one hand at Billy's lower back and the other buried in his curls. They sat panting a little, their foreheads pressed together. Billy smiled wickedly.

"I would just like to point out that you made a lot of promises about what was going to happen if I didn't die, Harrington, and I held up my end of the bargain." Steve's answering smile was bright and just a little cocky.

"I'm looking forward to keeping every single one of those promises, Hargrove. We can start as soon as we get where we're going." Billy frowned at him.

"I survived being impaled by a giant flesh monster because you promised me--"

"My giant flesh monster?" Steve cut in, cracking up halfway through. Billy snorted, but did not further dignify that with a response.

"As I was saying," he said instead, "I am alive today because you have a really nice dick and a filthy mouth, and I have been waiting on both of them for months, and I am definitely not waiting three more hours to get started." He punctuated this declaration by reaching for the top button of Steve's pants. He had it and the next two buttons open before Steve reached out to stop him.

"Billy," he hissed, "we are parked on the side of the highway! We are not doing this here. Literally anyone could look over at any time and get a fantastic view of exactly what we're doing." Steve had a point, but Billy didn't have to like it.

He sighed and kissed Steve one more time, hard, before he reluctantly clambered back over to the passenger seat.

"Fine," he said. "We can compromise." He leaned over and grabbed Steve's wrist to look at his watch. Then he smiled at Steve, sharp and a little predatory. "I'm going to start sucking your dick in twenty minutes, if not before. We're still in fucking Indiana, so that should give you plenty of time to find some deserted back road somewhere." Steve was already starting the car.

He grinned over at Billy as he pulled back into traffic and made his way to the next exit.

"So you're going to start at the top and work your way through them, huh?"

"Maybe. We'll just have to see," Billy said. He paused. "I gotta say, pretty boy, I'm legitimately fuckin' impressed. I didn't know you had it in you." Steve smirked at him.

“Hey, give me some credit. I knew you well enough to know that if I had mentioned feelings, or called it making love, you would have immediately chosen the sweet embrace of death.” Billy laughed along with Steve because Steve was right: at one point, Billy absolutely would have done that.

Not anymore, though. Not if it was Steve. But he wasn't about to just blurt that out, so. He could still have one secret. For now, anyway.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #my writing #I don't know man #I wrote this at three am a couple weeks ago #I'm done staring at it so now you get to look at it #I'm sorry #or you're welcome!#one of those

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