#the great wizard

[devious-buffoon]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[warthogreporter]

And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr

🐙 WetterThanYou Follow

It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?

🐙WetterThanYou Follow

Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

They're not? 😭😭😭

(10,053 Notes)

🐺HereWolf Follow

Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.

🏏Batass Follow

Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.

🐺HereWolf Follow

You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.

🐺HereWolf Follow

Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.

(8,000 Notes)

💚CraftedLove Follow

In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.

(42,069 Notes)

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.

(48,835 Notes)

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me 😍

♣️HeraclesOfficial✅ Follow

Hey.

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!

(33,333 Notes)

This now has a sequel, and a third act

[katsinspats]

Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!

I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished

[wackarat]

Tf2 X Monty python guys. We see the vision

[del-stars]

so pandora is a seer but i love to imagine evan having whack ass night terrors. like he sits up in the middle of the night eyes glazed over talking about the end of the world and bartys just like yeah okay cool, man and then forgets to tell him it happened in the morning

[ultravioletbrit]

“sunflowers” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 264 words

 

“Snapdragons.”

“Sunflowers.”

“Snapdragons.” James repeats.

“Sunflowers.” Regulus is getting increasingly louder.

“Snapdragons.” James crosses his arms over his chest.

“Sunflowers.” Regulus puts both hands on the table to lean closer to James.

“They should be your favorite flower.” James tells him.

“That’s ridiculous! They should obviously be your favorite flower!” Regulus throws his hands in the air.

“Ugh, what are you two fighting over now?” Sirius asks as he walks into the kitchen.

“Nothing!” James and Regulus say at the same time and Sirius just gives them a look.

“What flowers Regulus should carry when he walks down the aisle.” James says with a longwinded sigh.

“It should be sunflowers because those are James’ favorites and he’s just being an idiot.” Regulus says frustratedly.

“No, they should be snapdragons because those are Reg’s favorites.” James tells Sirius.

“Wait, your favorite flowers are called snapdragons?” Sirius asks Regulus with a bit of a laugh.

“Yes! Why?” Regulus snaps at Sirius.

“No reason.” Sirius holds his hands up in surrender. “Why can’t you just do some sort of combination of them both?” Sirius asks like it’s obvious.

James and Regulus are both silent for a moment before they share a side glance with each other.

“Did you honestly not think of that?” Sirius asks with a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why did I agree to be your wedding planner?” He mumbles under his breath.

“Snapdragons and sunflowers sounds like it could be nice.” James tells Regulus softly.

“I guess.” Regulus says a bit petulantly but he’s sharing a sweet smile with James.   

[messiahzzz]

it’s been almost a year now… is the bg3 fandom finally ready to talk about how gale’s “hubris” is the sole product of actively feeding his insecurities further and straight up denying him help & guidance when he was at his lowest and needed it most. it’s not one of his core traits and never was. he isn’t some closeted power hungry monster that is just waiting to be enabled. what he wants is admiration, recognition and acceptance. which is also what he sought from mystra before the orb disaster happened. he had no desire whatsoever to become a god himself or challenge her rule, he simply wanted to be seen as sufficient in her eyes (“to serve her better”). to be as equal as he could possibly be in a relationship with a literal deity. he has a deep passion for magic and knowledge that affects almost all areas of his life and enjoys the display thereof. he wants to be the smartest person in the room and enjoys when his work is recognized. he may be perceived as arrogant when it comes to his skill, but he IS NOT hubristic. it truly takes so little for him to be wholly content.

[justaz]

im not a fan of modern merthur but the idea of them meeting in modern times and introducing themselves to each other and them laughing and bonding over their names being connected to the myth of king arthur and camelot is just so cute

[saturdaysky]

you lose sight of it, somehow, when you consort with gods: how fragile mortals are, and how precious.

[gale of waterdeep & my pc, mayhew of nowhere in particular]

[nomouthtospeakof]

hey gale. gale.

halaster? the halaster? halaster fucking blackcloak?

you not only personally know halaster blackcloak --

you chose HIM --

-- as your CAT SITTER??

[lastoneout]

Alright everyone, it's time we settle this once and for all...

[wizardsisananimal]

dont know if this question was asked yet but what type of animal is a wizard? (carnivore/vegetarian, prey/predator etc)

wizards are omnivorous caniforms and are opportunistic predators and foragers. while they can kill and eat other animals, utilizing electric shocks to stun prey, they often wander around scavenging and foraging things like bears and raccoons do. they can be found grazing at most anything in a field but when opportunity arises they will zap some small animal if they’re hungry and it gets close enough.

they have a robust digestive system so grazing, to wizards, in the modern age does include non food objects like branches, car tires, sidewalk furniture, whatever

[zei-ord-art]

finally remembering to post this Suvi piece in time for international women’s day

drew this while listening to ep 22

[digi-lov]

Tsukaimon EX6-045 by Ryodan, Witchmon EX6-048 and Bastemon EX6-052 by banira, and Lilithmon EX6-057 by poroze from EX-06 Theme Booster Infernal Ascension

[aiuredsworld]

HBD HARRY JAMES POTTER

[shuttershocky]

One funny consequence of the Tactical Breach Wizards team actually being made up of regular guys and not soldiers is that they're all criminals after stopping World War V, on account of all the breaking and entering and throwing police through windows