Tumgik
#the only way I could explain it was HELP
mumblesplash · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
part 2!!!! [read part one here]
transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:
“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn. we were told to point her at whoever we need gone
“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye she was specially selected for her hunting skill it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try
think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse? “given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.” [“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?] it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress
3K notes · View notes
violent138 · 24 days
Text
I was heavily inspired by this post, and I haven't stopped thinking of ghost Alfred running the Manor. I like the idea that Alfred died soon after Martha and Thomas (for dark reasons for me, but it could have been anything), but because someone needed to be there for Bruce (or some strange balancing act that a sentient Gotham played a role in), Alfred returned. However, while he tries to help Bruce, he's bound to the house as a ghost, rendering him incapable of personally going to find Bruce when he vanishes to train.
It's why Alfred's so tireless in helping the family, his last instruction from the Waynes was to protect their son. But he can never truly intercede, can't repair like a human might, he's just an echo trying to keep the family, the Manor, and the legacy together.
124 notes · View notes
tinybro · 9 months
Text
jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion
so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life
#i live for anything that drags out the pining/pre-relationship period as long as possible okay#give me the drama of jason frustrated about constantly being manipulated by gods#in love with nico but convinced it's just cupid fucking with him and not wanting nico to get dragged into it#maybe telling nico eventually because he's having trouble hiding his feelings and he doesn't wanna hurt nico by confusing him#which is of course an emotional rollercoaster for nico#hearing jason say he's in love with him only to then immediately hear that it's just godly fuckery#nico agreeing to help jason find cupid to get it reversed because he knows how much it sucks having feelings for someone unwillingly#and he doesn't want jason stuck mooning over someone like him just because he was unkucky enough to be with nico for the cupid incident#whole quest in which nico develops feelings in return and angsts because he's sure jason only feels that way because of the arrow#maybe a slip-up in the middle somewhere with nico accidentally revealing he likes jason back before backpedaling wildly#so now jason has hope despite himself because he'd never really thought it was possible anyway given nico's feelings for percy#and he doesn't like being manipulated by gods but he doesn't mind the idea of being in love with nico#and what if he just gave up on the hunt for cupid entirely and let it happen#while nico feels guilty since clearly it's just cupid arrow magic fucking with jason and he's enabling it#and then of course when they finally find cupid he explains how his arrows work and that he can't just FORCE someone to be in love#no more than hera could with jason and piper by fucking with their memories to push them together#cupid's methods are just way more effective#my tag babble ended up longer than the actual post oh my god#pjo#jasico#my dumb headcanons
213 notes · View notes
lokh · 26 days
Text
oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
44 notes · View notes
fleshdyke · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
#csa warning for tags#ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh#completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i#also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad#like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man#was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to#'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background#all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or#whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important#i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting#that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently#wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all.#and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head#like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have#to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it.#bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit#i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus#an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually#harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all#bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid.#and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is#but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core.#i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways#rambles#vent
17 notes · View notes
tumblingxelian · 8 days
Text
Chrysididae 
The Birth of the Hero Chrysididae!
A student film premiers, a lost heiress in enraged at the perceived betrayal of her sponsor, classmates, family and even oldest friend.
Why she wonders, why do these things keep happening to me?
It is a question she had wondered before but only rarely, too often it was too easy to find some enemy to blame, or her own lack of exceptional talent.
But on this day, when she reflects on Gabriel Agreste's souless stare from the tablet, something clicks.
He did this on purpose.
Like one domino hitting another, it sets off a chain of memories and with them a realization.
On what was to be Adrien's first day of school, the first Akuma appears, despite the fact that surely other teenagers were embarrassed or angered.
This should have scared Adrien and compelled him to stay home, but no.
So it is again with Stoneheart, but somehow, for some reason he chooses Chloe as a victim despite nearly every member of class being terrified and enraged, despite his intent to be to confess his love to Mylene.
He still takes the time to kidnap Chloe, who was the instigator of Adrien's rebellion.
This would be her first near death, but not the last.
Lady Wifi would come next, suitably aggrieved perhaps but to what purpose? Hawk Moth of all people should know Chloe could not have been Ladybug, so there needs to be another motive, one to target the girl and not a presumed hero.
Ah yes, punishing her for helping Adrien slip his grasp.
Evilillustrator, would be next, neglecting the humiliation and abuse his teacher subjected him to in favor or murdering a girl for a snide comment regarding his crush.
Now you might say, what of Roger, Rose, Juleka and Kim?
But remember, even an Akuma will not go against the deep and abiding instincts of its source human. Their loved one's may be in endangered on accident or in a deranged bit to assist them.
But never would they be intentionally harmed.
In this same vain, a man who believes wholeheartedly in his duty to be of service to the community, a girl whose most malevolent self only wanted a dream wedding, a girl who wished to be seen and a boy who wished for love to disappear.
All Akuma that either would not or could not kill by their nature or that of their powers. They would be insufficient for breaking the girl who defied him.
Antibug is where things begin to change.
Convinced that her beloved idol hated her just as her mother always had, Chloe began to break. So much so she could not avoid his Akuma this time.
Able to defeat Chat Noir and a fair match for Ladybug she was one of the stronger Aluma. Not in the upper echelons like Style Queen or Sanboy, but worth stoking over the coals for an even greater reaction.
Speaking of Style Queen, you may question why Gabriel would allow his son, who has so far avoided all harm from any Akuma to be struck low.
I remind you that while his control is great it is not infinite. I would add that not only does Hawk Moth's ego outstrip his control but so too does his scheming.
Why snub the notoriously angry Style Queen? Why would Nathalie, an otherwise sensible woman go along with the insult. Only to see him retract it the next day? Why was Gabriel who has refused to leave his manor in all other attacks absent when the Style Queen invaded his home?
Why if not for the fact he sought to make Style Queen and with Mayura's help could do so. But she was not enough alone, but her presence would bring about inspiration for his newest scheme.
It would bring about Queen Wasp.
But first, you may question why Gabriel would allow his son, who has so far avoided all harm from any Akuma to be struck low. I remind you that while his control is great it is not infinite, and would go further and note how strange it is that Gabriel would be absent from his manor.
He would not leave during any other Akuma attack, yet the this one? How odd, lest
Murdered by her mother the day before, then rejected by her yet again, mind on the edge of snapping she orchestrated her own self destruction and from the wreckage crawled the first Akumatized Miraculous User.
For we cannot call her a hero.
Who was the next Akuma, but her own father. His intent with her just as it was with his wife, to keep her in Paris for his own pleasure at her expense. Conveniently ensuring Hawk Moth's new muse could not slip the leash she did not even know was fastening around her neck.
Just as hoped it would see, she was chosen this time to wield a Miraculous and she would be chosen again on Heroes' Day. Hawk Moth's only known effort to Akumatize others rather than letting the people of Paris do his work for him.
This was where we first saw sign of Mayura and to any who have been wondering. Yes, this is why The Collector & Simon Says mean so little. There was always a hidden second who could have commanded the Akuma, and if not, paint a target on his back from a target so far away that the here's would surely arrive in time.
With Mayura's arrival came a new wave of terror, not just for Paris but Chloe in particular.
Don't believe me, I do not blame you, but it is the truth.
Over the months following Heroes Day, battle after battle would be fought before the former Miraculous Holder. Always in front of her home where the Bee Signal shone, always to see her rejected by her idol.
From this came Miracular.
Close, but not close enough, Chloe resister the Akum, but Sabrina could not and within moments of Chat's arrival Mayura was upon them.
The villains had been waiting, a clear signal they had been observing her for sometimes, a clear signal of their continued interest.
Especially given, despite the months of absence, the moment it was necessary, Queen Bee flew again. Even as Ladybug swore this would be the last time as she doubtlessly had done for the last two months of battle.
Only to change her mind as needs demanded it.
But do not think her egotistical my witnesses. It was not merely Chloe who was targeted but another as well.
Marinette Dupain Cheng. A girl who has yet to be Akumatized, who holds a disdain for liars and seeks truth. Such an ideal recipe for an Akuma that could force Ladybug & Chat Noir into the light.
Thus it was, she'd be framed for cheating, theft and assault before her classmates by one Lila Rossi. Perhaps this would not convince you alone but I ask.
How did Hawk Moth know the class he has so often predated on, the class which contains Adrien Agrest, if he did not have a hand in this event?
This was not the first time Lila was used as such. Whispering sweet lies into Chloe's ears about how to summon Ladybug but leaving her humiliated instead.
Has she not done the same with others? Kagami for instances.
Decaying day by day, and nightmare by nightmare, Miracle Queen approached and this is where it all comes together.
Her feuding parents presenting with a garment both ugly and enraging that binds them together by a man who proclaims himself a designer.
An Akuma on the scene in mere moments, to combine them into one. The parents turned against the child enough to harm her yet again, but kept from devouring her. Finally, the Bee Signal sabotaged.
Why this family, why this girl even before the Miraculous? Who would know her well enough to orchestrate such targeted strikes against her psyche? What man has the motive, resources and insight to break Chloe Bourgeois?
Why its the same man whose beloved assistant fell ill at the same time as Mayura vanished from the field of battle. Its the same man who had a hand in the transformation of Style Queen & Heart Hunter. It is the same man who promised a desperate girl a movie, only to rip it away with a subtle smile. Knowing his Akuma would find her soon.
But he was not ready for me, or in a way, for her.
Chloe Bourgeois, the girl you knew, no longer exists. She had no desire to anymore, more than Hawk Moth saw to that.
What she did desire was to prove she was more than a Super Disaster and means by which to free her from the role long since assigned to her.
For the latter, came a Sentimonster not long for this world. Its power exorcising that malevolent miasma of Hawk Moth. But even as it was destroyed the creatures magic did as it was bid.
For his voice had gone silent, the rage faded and the Akuma was taken into more than this mere suit but into the skin, to course through her blood and bury itself in her marrow.
Now I emerge from the girl that was once Chloe Bourgeois with three purposes.
To tell the world of Gabriel's crimes, to defeat Hawk Moth, and be an exceptional Hero.
I am Chrysididae and for what its worth, I am sorry.
13 notes · View notes
Text
Don't you guys think it's fucked up when Fiona starts dating and sleeping out of the house, leaving Debbie, Carl and Liam kind of for themselves?
Once she started dating Mike she would sleep at his place sometimes which I think it's okay, she was paying the bills and would leave dinner ready and communicate Debs and she was still looking out for them, they had health care and she took them to the clinic and all that. She needs to take care of her, live a life, sleep at her boyfriend sometimes, that's fine and healthy. But then she marry Gus and is often out of there, get together with Sean and doesn't even know what's going on with them anymore (aka "why there's nothing to eat in the fridge" "cause no one is doing the shopping" dialogue with Debbie, not knowing when it's their first day at school, letting Sammy move in and run things after her trailer got fucked by Frank), and then she gets her apartment and moves out completely and like, okay, Ian was a EMT, Lip is a mechanic already I think, she did said she wasn't going to support Debbie after her pregnancy (fucked me thinks), Carl's at military school, but Liam is still a kid! And Debs and Carl are still underage! And they are her responsibility.
It just doesn't sit right with me that Liam didn't at least moved with her.
Specifically Fiona defenders, I would love to hear more about it.
#i could he talking a lot of shit cause i only watched s6 and ahead once and it was some months ago but#i dont think im wrong. i dont there was any sort of explanation or reason or anything like that#she straight up left all behind to start fresh with her apartment her money her expensive chair didnt she#and i want fiona to grow! to do her stuff! to be only a sister to her siblings and not their mom! but she is their legal guardian#yes lip and ian definitely has to help family now. she didnt had to raise them the way she did until s3 but she did and they own her big#at least i think they do. she sacrificed herself out of love for them. made them go to school. gave them a life and some sort of stability#so now its their time to take up the responsibility with her. but thats it. with her. she dont get to abandon them.#mostly cause she is their legal guardian yk. and it was very strictly imposed and explained s3 its from here on until theyre ALL 18#and i somewhat think its okay for her to want liam to be in chicago when she left. she gave them money and he had there more stability#like she had no job yet no place to live he wouldnt have any family around to support him he would have to move to another school is a lot!#but to not make this move legally? to i dont know transfer him to lip or something? to not call and get to know how hes doing?#to not send liam $ once she gets a job or a share of her 50k every month? to not offer him to move with her once she gets her shit together#i dont like it. actually i hate it.#shameless#shameless us#fiona gallagher#og.#s9
16 notes · View notes
thisvisionofmyspirit · 6 months
Text
Maybe a controversial opinion that y'all are going to take the wrong way but. Metal is a music genre, not a honorific title. People who say Sleep Token isn't metal might think they're insulting ST but they actually aren't. People who say ST is metal might think they're defending ST but they actually aren't.
"Is ST metal?" is a purely neutral debate. The answer, whatever it is, should only matter to you when you're looking for their discography at the store and you want to know what category they might be in because you have a bus to catch and you don't want to wander around the aisles for half an hour. It says nothing about the band's merits.
I think if we could all agree on that, we wouldn't get mad at each other.
27 notes · View notes
symbioticsimplicity · 2 months
Text
Y’all what if Lilith didn't choose to take a vaycay in Heaven? What if she got redeemed?
#if she got redeemed and it got hidden by Adam and Lute#then having Sir Pentious pop up in front of Sera and Emily would have been also to keep that possibility from being hidden again#not sure what deal she would have made with Adam in that case#other than maybe to keep the exterminators from cleaning house altogether once they learned it was possible??#maybe give a double meaning to Adam's line about no one learning the truth???#and it would make sense Lilith seemed by all accounts a good wife and mother as well as a good queen who wanted the best for her people#so it stands to reason she could have been redeemed especially considering her sin wasn't like...huge#maybe she got taken out during an exorcism since she wasn't technically hellborn she would have been fair game#and it would make sense that she'd want to spare Lucifer the pain of finding her dead so she slunk off somewhere???#only to then find herself alive in heaven with no means of telling her family#it would also explain why she's just sitting alone on a beach instead of interacting with people when she's clearly a people person#she doesn't wanna be there so she'd rather be left alone#and if her deal was to help spare the rest of hell it would make sense as a perspective for having her go talk to Charlie#plus it gives a chance for her to be a rebellious little shit and tell Charlie her idea works and not to abandon it#if viv wants her and Luci to still be a thing and a healthy thing this would be a hell of an angle to hit it at#as well as giving Lucifer more motivation to take an active role in things#and maybe earn redemption for himself too??#idk but i think that would be really interesting especially with the fans expectations leaning so far the other way rn#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel theory#hazbin hotel lilith
9 notes · View notes
imflyingfish · 2 months
Text
.
#i have no idea how to respond to the whole qsmp situation right now#i mean. i dont watch it or interact with qsmp ITSELF#only the fans around it#I have made fanart for it but not really because i have any particular attachment to specific characters but just because#its a very good springboard for character design and inspiration#Im very involved with the fanbase though as the QSMPnews discord is one of my main discords#and I mainly use the fandom space as a way of practicing/getting into foreign languages#although i dont watch qsmp it still has impacted my life massively in the last year#this clusterfuck of project management is difficult to unravel and know what to do with#and its difficult to know exactly where to turn your attention#or who to blame#since theres so many levels of miscommunication that hasnt been helped by the sharing of it online#i think. even if QSMP doesn't survive#it would be ludicrous to state it as an inherently harmful server#since there has been an evident change in the minecraft gaming space because of it in multiculturalism.#heck IM direct proof of that as someone who does not reguarly engage with the server itself via streams#the fact that as a result of a 21 year old kid deciding to start a sever I can end up with a group of spanish speakers trying to explain#various concepts to me in my language while i respond in theirs is. insane#so do i think that the qsmp will survive?#um. look i dont see how it can.#I've never thought that it could#but i dont think that im going to demonise fans or avoid content relating to it#considering how integral the fanspaces around it are to me and my personal quest for language proficiency#however I will attempt to keep qsmp posts on my french/spanish blogs#well that was. long-winded#idk this is a very self-centred look into the qsmp and this whole situation#obviously I hope that the staff get paid but. I really have no idea where Quackity Studios might get that money from or how the#server should either end or continue
5 notes · View notes
raeofgayshine · 30 days
Text
I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person I’m not. And I still have that space even though I’m aroace.
For the first time ever, I see a future where I’m not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. It’s possible to not be constantly lonely.
#ravenpuff rambles#I’ve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times#several of whom are still in my life now#but it’s only been recently that I’ve felt like I truly found my place#I don’t know how to explain it#I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit#and this is the first time I don’t feel like I have to run because I don’t feel like these people are going to leave me#maybe it’s just because one of them is also aroace and we’ve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind#never had someone quite get that before#and maybe it’s just I feel more willing to open my heart#admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and that’s how the friendships really started forming#and so maybe that helps#but it’s like#Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ‘#‘can I copy your homework?’ ‘yeah just be sure to change it so no one knows’#It’s a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word#anyways#I’m really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me#and also tell xem that no it doesn’t look like a fanfic dream#no im not their person but yeah they’re kind of mine but that’s okay#its nothing and everything like I always thought of#and for the first time in my life I don’t feel a crush sense of loneliness#yes I wish I could see them in person#but I can be okay with everything I do get
4 notes · View notes
birdmitosis · 6 months
Text
Ship fanmix for Voice of the Cold/Voice of the Paranoid from Slay the Princess. If you can tolerate pain, can you tolerate joy? (Art credit to @phospolipid-bilayer, right here!)
Acceptance - So Contagious Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected And I can tell you I've been moving in so slow Don't let it throw you off too far Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?) To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
aeseaes - Mahogany String his neck, would you, would you? Steer this wreck, would you, would you? Tease me, torturous, bend to your death I give in easy, hold me now I'll be reckless, not yet
Andy Grammer - Fine By Me And it seems that every time we're eye to eye I can find another piece of you that I don't wanna lose I'm just saying it's fine by me if you never leave And we can live like this forever, it's fine by me
Angus & Julia Stone - Just a Boy Girl, you make me want to feel Things I've never felt before Girl, you make me want to feel Did I say I'm just a boy? You can hold me to that
Cash Cash - Surrender I was running on an empty heart Not a trace of gasoline Trying to dim every single spark That could hurt, that could burn all of me
Charlotte Martin - Four Walls Here is the part you reach for me Say that you have no need of this Say it again, again, again, again Head up straight, I know what I'm doing Head up straight, I know what I'm doing (I don't)
girl in red - i wanna be your girlfriend Oh Hannah, I will follow you home Although my lips are blue and I'm cold I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath Oh Hannah, oh Hannah, oh Hannah, oh Hannah
Holly Conlan - OK I build up walls no one can climb And I tear them down, this process takes up all my time And now I'm confused on top of it all I was ready to lose and ready to fall But then something about the way you look at me It makes it feel okay, you make it feel okay
Jaymay - Sycamore Down I'm just a cloud, I'm not proud Of how I've been dealing with things No one's allowed into my world To see how I'm feeling If this isn't love What is love if this isn't love?
Keaton Henson - Limb And I will shed my skin Oh, to let you in So lay down your guns for me I'm only temporary
Maria Mena - Just Hold Me But if I wanted silence I would whisper And if I wanted loneliness I'd choose to go And if I liked rejection I'd audition And if I didn't love you, you would know And why can't you just hold me?
Motion City Soundtrack - L.G. FUAD Yeah, so I'm already dead On the inside, but I have learned to pretend It's the only way I have learned to express myself, through other people's descriptions of life I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless (In this department)
Of Monsters and Men - Love Love Love Yeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad person Well baby, I know Oh, cause you love, love, love When you know I can't love So I think it's best we both forget before we dwell on it...
Ricky Montgomery - This December Well, this December, I'll remember Want you to see it when I do It's this state in this state I'm living in It's just a little bit, it's just a little bit lonely in this home It's always colder on your own My darling I, I let the season change my mind
Sharon Van Etten - It's Not Like Take both my hands, tie them behind my back To keep me from holding, from holding, from holding But that's so unlike myself And it's not like I have anyone to hold, or do I want to? These eyes, this heart, these arms have held almost everything But not you, but not you, but I want to
Bonus: DECO*27 - The Vampire (Rachie English cover) Back and forth from good to bad in every heartbeat Let's turn that fear of yours into something sweet Acting like I just don't care and yet I'm feeling everything The distance tears me open, holding back all emotion But if I keep tempting fate then it'll crush me 'till I finally break
(All fanmixes are a perpetual WIP.)
8 notes · View notes
ff2-soda-pop · 3 months
Text
I'm starting to question if I should even bother with the stupid paper.... I'm probably just gonna fail anyways lmao
#ive been running around stuck on Babysitter Duty for the past three days and the teacher only gave us any instructions on thursday yet#somehow expected a full paper done and edited by sunday. even if i wasnt stuck on babysitter duty she'd get a shitty paper just due to how#little TIME that is to get things done. but because i am on babysitter duty uhhh..... well so far there's no paper#ive been spending practically full days having to take care of my sister and i cant just Ignore Her so i havent done my paper while watchin#her because again: my focus needs to be on Her. and shes incredibly loud which makes it super hard to focus. fun combo /s#so i was like 'i'll just stay up Really Late and do it then' but that hasn't worked because my sister WONT GO TO BED if im awake. i was up#until 4am last night hoping she'd fall asleep and shut up and i could work but Nope!#and then i got too tired to even care anymore#i've tried explaining this to others and they're just like 'ok well you just need to find a way to make it work :/' which is very much#easier said than done! and im scared about this paper because this teacher doesnt accept late work at all for pretty much any reason#and im sure she wont understand my situation. because shes also the teacher that didnt understand that i didnt have the textbook on time#because it was still being shipped and i dont control the rate at which book ships and she was like#'..........okay well you still need to have the book by tomorrow at least <3' when i told her the book had Just shipped and idk when i'd ge#the dumb thing. so yknow i dont have high hopes about this#also just as extra 'make stuff more difficult' i have zero accommodations because my mom cant keep track of my fucking IEPs and they wont#let me have accommodations unless i have that and idk how to get a copy anymore. so i've also been running around with no help in that area#and it's not great </3#idk im just stressed out and frustrated and i Want To Cry :)#vent
6 notes · View notes
donnatroyyyy · 1 year
Text
Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.
#him and Dick have miscommunication about how they see each other. Bruce sees Dick as a son and Dick sees Bruce as a father#but they didn’t think the other saw them that way so they never told each other. that’s what led to their fights in Dick’s later teenage#years and dick quitting and becoming nightwing. he thought Bruce only saw him as a ward/robin so he thought that as long as he couldn’t be#robin Bruce wouldn’t want him#and if didn’t help when Bruce stopped talking to him when he left. though to Bruce it was because he thought Dick didn’t want to talk to him#and also Dick really needs to tell Bruce like ‘hey you put me on a higher pedestal then you put even yourself which is saying something and#and I don’t like that cuz that’s too much pressure for me. and also since you did it everyone else does it and has done it since I was Robin#and it’s literally just a matter of time before I break from the pressure cuz I’m not fucking Superman and I can’t take it’#and Jason with the whole UTRH thing. you know all Bruce had to say was that he had tried killing the joker over Jason multiple times and#maybe just explain to Jason WHY he doesn’t kill. a simple ‘you’re better than me because if I killed one person I’d kill everyone’#or it could even just be a simple ‘I do love you Jason youre the kid that I felt most comfortable loving’#and also maybe a ‘I don’t think anything changed after my death and that makes my death meaningless which I think goes against your no kill#rule because I hat is the rule of not a reminder taht death means something. and by that logic my death already went against the rule so why#can’t you do it again for the man that murdered me.’ and Bruce needs to make a presentation: ‘all the ways Jason’s death meant something’#and Tim just needs a simple ‘I don’t see you as work I see you as family.’ maybe even a ‘you don’t have to be the grown up in this relati#anymore I’m sorry you were one to begin with. you should’ve always been the child’#now his miscommunication with Damian goes much deeper but I’m one hundred percent sure if they sit down and air out all of their feelings it#would help a lot but I have a feeling that won’t happen#a ‘I have trouble understanding you because both your trauma and compassion run deeper than mine and I also never had to grow up to be a#weapon’ from Bruce and a ‘I don’t understand your optimism and moral stubbornness and easness why is it so easy to be good for u?’#his miscommunication with Cass stems from two things a simple ‘why are you so afraid to show how deeply you love?’ from Cass maybe a#‘I’m jealous of you because you’re better than me not only in fighting but morally and emotionally’ from Bruce should fix it#and Steph— look I’m not even going to TRY to get into that that goes SO much deeer and wider than any one else’s miscommunication#but maybe a ‘you reminded me of Jason at a time where that wasn’t a good thing’ from Bruce should start things up#for Duke a ‘I can never truly understand what you’re going/have gone through and for that I’m sorry’ from Bruce should suffice#maybe also Bruce telling him that just because he sees Duke as a son doesn’t mean he’s trying any less to get Duke his parents back#oh and babs just needs to go up to him and say ‘I don’t like that what happened to me happened for your story and not mine and I don’t like#that you don’t let me make it into my story’ and then Bruce can follow up and say ‘I see so much of myself in you and it makes me worry and#also I can never look at you without feeling guilty cuz you’re right what happened to you happened for MY story so I’m at fault’#then the two can go back to being too much like each other and sitting at their respective computers
27 notes · View notes
pepprs · 7 months
Text
my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.
#purrs#longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing#and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how#deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is#to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is#being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten#alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can#one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the#most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably#i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this#delete later#i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting#people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself#and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i#feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental#illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt#feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant#i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that#and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending
17 notes · View notes
caterpillarinacave · 2 months
Note
So you choose not to step through the door, after all why mess with nonsense when you're already in nonsense? You check the items in your pockets, your phone you shut off to conserve power, the dog tag, key and top clink together but offer no help, and when you fiddle with the walkie-talkie you manage to get it to turn on, excitedly you call out to the void but only static responds, which is disappointing but predictable, so you put the items away and hunker down for the night, looking at the sky you can see that the stars seem strange, though you're no expert, and the moon seems to have a second smaller moon near it which looks pretty cool but is a stark reminder of how not on your own world your predicament has landed you.
In the morning you begin looking through the nearby bushes and plant life taking note of anything strange, you notice the berries you had been picking before you stepped through the door are also growing around here, they look and taste the same, and some other plants seem pretty similar to the forest from before as well, although the further away from the door you go the more unfamiliar plants you come across (of course that may just be your lack of familiarity with plants) and the few animals you have noticed are bizarre in a way that you can't explain, like the people from town, they seem almost perfectly familiar, just a little off and the noises they make have you thinking they wouldn't be able to communicate with their counterparts either, brushing aside another branch you come across a strange funnel made of metal which you pocket and what looks to be a regular whistle, you wipe it down and blow but hear nothing aside from the air going through, you consider it is either broken or maybe a dog whistle, as you go to put it away you hear something big running in your direction, before you can decide how to react a large creature storms out of the bushes and stops in the clearing before you, it's huge as a horse with paws and sharp teeth it licks as it looks around and spots you, it shakes its head again reminding you of a horse, then steps closer before turning and staring expectantly, you get the feeling it's waiting on you, impatiently, and you realize it seems to expect you to get on its back. Do you get on?
Yes.
#I am a terrible terrible Irish child#Clearly all those folk tales whose only moral was “don’t climb on the strange horse” were lost on me. Technically not a horse though. So. H#Uh please don’t run into the bog with my on your back strange horse thing.#…This may be one of my worse ideas#On one hand moving away from what appears to be the only connection my world doesn’t sound like a great idea#Back through the door is logically the the best bet. However I’ve already explored the area#The only thing to do would be to just sit there for hours and that will get me nowhere. The things that do have leads like the walkie-#Sputtering are things to pay attention to but not things that are likely to change if I don’t move. The whistle is the newest thing-#And let’s be real I’ve been in the bramble for like 14 hours without the neurospicy meds I am teetering on dangerously antsy#Probably better to get on the horse before I come up with something more stupid#It’s interesting my world flora seems to surround the door. I wish I’d payed more attention before I stepped through#If the nearby flora on the other side seemed like it would come from this world it would suggest that the door just leaks between universes#In two ways. If it’s earths flora then it’s either only leaking one way which we could no from one step through#Or - which we will not know but should pay attention for if we step into some other world - if the earths flora shows up around EVERY porta#Which would suggest earth is the base in some way#It might be beneficial to climb a tree to try and see farther out#Though I don’t exactly get many opurtunited to haul myself up a tree so I would put to much stock in a)my upper body strength#And b) my ability to chose a tree that won’t kill me#It’s defintley worth taking in as much info as possible. I’ll try and notice things like different winds gravity tempature ect#What should i tag this all. Help I got lost in a blackberry bush? Anon who takes me to alternate planes of reality?#I know#Guys I got lost in a bush#That’s a good one. Nothing weird there at all.#FINE I’ll rage it “guys I got lost in a blackberry bush”#I wonder what makes things so familiar. Perhaps this world exists very closely to the other. Perhaps they’ve crossed paths before.#Perhaps they’ve shown up in our dreams. Perhaps I have bad memory and my brain gaslights itself into thinking everything’s familiar#I wonder maybe the horse is a horse/dog thing- that would explain the likeness to the dog whistle (?)#This can’t get any worse I say doing something that could very much make it worse#Eh what’s the worst that can happen. At least I don’t have to pay taxes in this world#Guys I got lost in a black berry bush
3 notes · View notes