#the parallels in this show are astounding

[halfahelix]

déjà vu

[cod-with-boobs]

WAIT SO

THING I NOTICED UPON (another) GOOD OMENS 2 REWATCH

I apologize if this is thought vomity, I will do my best

Okay so

It just clicked for me that the Gabriel predicament at the beginning of the season is a direct reflection of the heaven predicament at the very end of the season.

Gabriel(heaven), throughout the entire series, has been working for the destruction of humanity, and actively tried to have Aziraphale murdered for helping prevent said destruction. He is overall a Bad Guy, and Aziraphale and Crowley see him as a Bad Guy. When he shows up on Aziraphale’s doorstep however, he shows through his silly billy antics that he is alone, fallible, and above all, capable of being Not Bad. Aziraphale’s immediate reaction upon seeing this harmless, vulnerable version of Gabriel is to assist and protect him. Crowley, however, decides that helping a former archangel is insane, and leaves, feeling as though Aziraphale is doing something monumentally stupid and dangerous. He is furious, both out of a sense of, given his experiences, very justified indignation, and a very deep fear for his and Aziraphale’s own safety.

This reflects perfectly their attitudes in the last episode!! Down to a T!! Aziraphale, after speaking with Metatron, gains a new perspective on heaven. Where before, heaven was dangerous and to be avoided(like Gabriel), now, heaven is something broken, something in need of assistance and capable of change(LIKE GABRIEL). With Aziraphale and Crowley’s help, Gabriel was able to find his own happiness, so why couldn’t heaven?

Ok so the important distinction between the two scenarios, and the reason one ended well while the other ended with Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship falling to pieces, is that in the first scenario, Crowley, though disagreeing initially, eventually caved in and helped. Why? Because of his conversation with Beelzebub about the book of life. Crowley had no intention of changing his stance on the Gabriel issue! Until! He found out through Beelzebub that Aziraphale was putting himself in life threatening danger by choosing to do the naïve, foolishly altruistic thing and protecting Gabriel. Crowley decided to protect Gabriel not out of any ideological change of heart, but out of direct concern for Aziraphale’s wellbeing. He did it for that and only that, and crucially, he *never told Aziraphale.*

So when Crowley saunters back into the shop and does the apology dance, Aziraphale THINKS it’s because Crowley saw the error of his ways and decided that “yes, I must help Jim because he is all alone and needs some Good Guys to protect him”, when in actuality his change of heart is entirely motivated by Crowley’s own fear for Aziraphale’s life.

But since Aziraphale doesn’t know that, since he thinks Crowley came back because he too saw Gabriel as a being capable of change and worthy of belief, he is now under the misapprehension that Crowley’s investment in Gabriel, and by extension heaven, is guided by the same misplaced hope and optimism that motivates him.

So when he, all smiles and heart eyes, offers Crowley a place in heaven beside him, protecting, tending to, and changing it for the better like they did Gabriel, he has every reason to believe that Crowley will say yes. After all, he had done it before. He never knew the stakes of his involvement with Gabriel, never had a *clue* that the book of life was involved at all. From his perspective, Crowley chose to help Gabriel because it was Right and Good, so it made perfect sense that he would do it again. Crowley’s reaction is such a genuine shock to Aziraphale because it never occurred to him that Crowley acted the way he did during season 2 *just to protect Aziraphale.*

They were never capable of understanding each other because, as always, they never communicated. There was no way that final interaction was going to go well because their understandings of the other’s motivations were deeply, fundamental misinformed!

I hope any of that made sense! Like many, I am very unwell about this show </3

[clockworkcheetah]

dont get me wrong amanda was def taking dirks words into account upon leaving the house but i dont think she wouldve done it if the rowdies werent following her

[daftmooncretin]

I’m not sure if this is a hot take or not but oh my god in terms of character depth the show has completely eclipsed the original books. obviously lestat was always an insanely fleshed out character because anne rice was obsessed with him but tbh armand, daniel and louis have been given more depth in this 5 episode run then in what 14 books of the vampire chronicles? i mean armand was already a fascinating character to begin with and assad takes what he’s given from the source material and just creates a whole new being with his performance!! plus the additions to his backstory and relationship with louis add a lot i think. but daniel and louis in the source material? they had none of the original armand potential! louis was a white plantation owner.! plus he was incredibly whiney and i always found him flat and kind of two dimensional in the books. how the writers and jacob anderson managed to create the perfect horrific anomaly that is our louis from that…? fucking astounding to me. and daniel??? book daniel is a fine character, sure. but the layers the show added by letting daniel move on from his first encounter and grow into eric! daniel add so much to his charcter!! ITS THE WAY OLD AND YOUNG DANIEL CONTRAST EACHOTHER COMPLETELY AS INTERVIEWERS YET ARE STILL COMPLETE EMOTIONAL MIRRORS OF EACHOTHER. ITS THE WAY THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN THE VAMPIRES AND 70’s AND PRESENT DANIEL SEEM LIKE OPPOSITES AT FIRST BUT GRADUALLY WE SEE ITS BEEN THE SAME BETWEEN THEM THE WHOLE TIMS. DANIEL IS STILL TERRIFIED AND DANIEL IS STILL BRAVE DESPITE IT. HE’S STILL FUCKING SIMULTANEOUSLY PRISONER AND JUDGE. he’s the idealistic boy high off his mind and he’s the cynical dying old man and he’s both and he’s neither. (can you tell daniel molloy is the most fascinating and tragic character in this show) ITS SUCH A FUCKING FANTASTIC PARALLEL. anyway i love you amc iwtv. you are doing such a good fucking job. also thank you eric. i love you eric. your performance both haunts and captivates me eric.

[chemicalreal]

Ironic how much neglect these two endured not just in universe but from the show writers as well.

The Green mantra seems to be neglect, dehumanise, villify.

I'm starting to think this show is just too stupid, even for the average consumer. Typically, even the most black-and-white stories contain some level of nuance and complexity, allowing characters to evolve beyond their initial roles. Here, it’s the opposite. The characters, especially at the beginning of the second season, have been forced into rigid, stereotypical molds when they were supposed to be nuanced characters. This shift has made the plot feel derailed and shallow.

These two episodes, which were supposed to focus on a significant loss for the Greens, have been turned into an unfunny spectacle and the writers themselves admit that their intention was to reduce it to slapstick comedy. Meanwhile, the rest of the episode indulges in an excessive number of mourning scenes for the show's favored character.

Let's remember that Alicent is the same person who put herself in front of Aegon to protect him and always tried to establish a physical connection with Helaena. The sudden neglect of Aemond is one of the show's biggest mysteries, especially when the previous season indicated the opposite. The palpable coldness between Aemond and Alicent since Luke's death isn't actually addressed by Aemond, adding to the inconsistency in character development.

I won't waste my time analyzing why Alicent isn't comforting her son Aegon because it’s clear that scene exists solely for the sake of a visual parallel with another Targaryen "Mary Sue" character. Alicent’s actions seem driven by the writers' whims rather than any consistent character development or explanation.

It's unsurprising that any opportunity for the Greens to interact sympathetically is cut short or even used to further vilify them. Hearing that these two actors (Aegon and Helaena) apparently fought for even small scenes that barely conveyed what they intended is both disheartening and ironic.

Ryan Condall recently made a comment about letting the audience decide whether Alicent was already cheating on her husband with Cole based on... I don't even know. It’s astounding how George R.R. Martin has once again hired a team of fanboys and charlatans to adapt his work for television, only to lower the bar even further. Condall talks about "green propaganda," yet his own attempts are less subtle than an Orwellian narrative.

[leaderwonim]

꒰ 사랑𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆: 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧. 🫀

002: she fell in front of her sunbaenim 🤓

It wasn’t until a week later that you met the other actors and actresses in the film.

Your manager, Hongseok, had cleared pretty much your entire schedule so the rest of PRISM was out promoting while you were waiting awkwardly at the film studio, straightening out your white skirt and thinking of what to say to Sunghoon.

After all, you did kind of audition for Belift as a joke. You were really into Enhypen and Newjeans, so you sent in your singing and dancing tape thinking you weren’t going to get picked anyway. You did, though.

“Hi, sorry I’m late!” The all too familiar Australian accent pops out of nowhere, and your breathing is 10 times rapid knowing exactly who it belonged to. Pham Hanni from Newjeans.

“No worries!” You say, almost choking on the piece of bread you were taking a bite out of. “Greetings sunbaenim!”

You bow but Hanni shakes her head quickly, “ah.. no need. I read your profile, you’re a year older than me, so if anything, I should be the one saying the formalities.”

You don’t get to say anything else before the Park Sunghoon and Kim Gyuvin walk in.

Oh my God. You internally think. You almost have to hold back from fainting because how the hell are you in the presence of Hanni, Gyuvin, and Sunghoon at the same time?!

“This is our main cast,” the director says, who your manager has told you to refer to as Director Jung. “We have a few more idols but they’ll be in and out between episodes.”

The four of you nod, you suddenly feeling so small when in the same room as your talented sunbaenims.

“Today is just introduction and get to know each other day since I know this was probably brought up upon you guys suddenly and it can seem overwhelming and uncomfortable.” Director Jung smiles, showing off his bright white teeth.

“The drama is a romance one, kind of like an American coming to age except Korean, you know? It’s called Parallel Love. The main character, Baek Yunhee is played by Yoon Y/N as you all know.” He then points towards your direction, making the other 3 idols all turn their attention to you. “Yunhee’s love interest is Min Suho, played by Park Sunghoon. The reason I chose the two of you was because you were exactly how I pictured Yunhee and Suho visually and I feel like you would astound me and the viewers with your acting.”

Your eyes subtly peek at Sunghoon, who looks absolutely glorious despite his messy hair and tired eyes. The engene inside of you screamed, but you masked it by biting the inside of your cheek.

“Now, the main female antagonist is Choi Sanghee, which will be played by Pham Hanni. The main male antagonist is Park Wooseok, played by Kim Gyuvin. Sanghee and Wooseok are somewhat love interests, but they’re also Yunhee and Suho’s biggest rivals.”

The rest of Director Jung’s words went from one of your ear and out another as he kept speaking, your vision instead focused on Park Sunghoon.

“Alright, that’s all I have to say! Any questions?”

There’s a few murmurs but no one says anything, so Director Jung hands the four of you individual scripts that were so thick you could slap a person with it.

“It’s time to take the poster photos so let’s get to work guys. Don’t disappoint me.”

Way to not pressure an idol who’s life is already hectic, you think.

synopsis. you’re a newly debuted girl group under belift, and in order for your group to gain more popularity, your ceo offered you the lead role in a new romance kdrama. this all seems great, so what’s the problem? well, for starters, your co star is your senior, park sunghoon from enhypen, and he doesn’t seem too happy about being in a romance drama. especially when your fans have started to ship the two of you!

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[ficretus]

Some time during Vacuo, Jaune intercepts Cinder

Jaune: Not gonna let you have Summer Maiden power Cinder.

Cinder: So you have anticipated where I would be. Astounding, albeit natural. After all... we are not so different you and I.

Jaune: We are NOTHING alike!

Cinder: What do you mean, we both killed a Maiden and penetrated Nikos.

Jaune: I didn't want to kill Pe... Wait what, I never... ahem... I did no such thing with Pyrrha.

Cinder: Really?

Jaune: Why would you even think that?

Cinder: She was practically throwing herself at you. No matter, I will simply rephrase it. *clears throat* We both killed a Maiden and penetrated that Schnee girl, we are not so...

Jaune: Nope.

Cinder: Not even her? Then what was all that handholding at the bridge? Fine, but then I am running out of our mutual penetrations, and for your information I have never penetrated Little Re...

Jaune: Could you stop speculating about my love life?

Cinder: I cannot believe this Arc. I at least thought you were competent in that field. Well then, I am stuck. I prepared this whole monologue but it appears your incompetence will once again ruin everything, unless... Tell me about your childhood Arc!

Jaune: What? I'm not gonna talk about my life story so you can...

Cinder: *creates a glass swords* It is not really a request Arc.

Jaune: So what exactly are we doing here? I am gonna talk about my childhood and you are gonna try to find a parallels between us?

Cinder: Correct.

Jaune: I was raised in Vale...

Cinder: Does not work.

Jaune: As member of famous Arc family...

Cinder: No.

Jaune: I have seven sisters...

Cinder: Sigh... wrong number. But do tell more about them, I am sure we can find some parallels there.

Jaune: I guess we are making some progress. My youngest sister is...

*2 hours later*

Jaune: And Saphron then moved out to Argus, got married to Terra and has a kid named Adrian. Any parallels?

Cinder: *murmurs* Was she gay? I suppose that is entirely speculative. *clears throat* It appears there are no parallels. Tell me more about your relationship with your sisters? Was it cordial, neutral, antagonistic?

Jaune: They were fine. I guess they would pick on me from time to time, made me wear pigtails several times...

Cinder: Stop, what was that?

Jaune: Pigtails?

Cinder: Yes... pigtails... of course, now it all makes sense. *clears throat* We are not so different you and I, we both killed a Maiden and wore pigtails as kids.

Jaune: That has to be the most superficial parallel of all time.

Cinder: Shut up Arc. Now that I have established parallels between us, we can finally commence this duel. But I do warn you, it is gonna end up just like all of our previous encounters.

Jaune: Bring it on.

*reinforcements come in*

Ruby: Great work Jaune, you held her off for two hours. No idea how, but great work nonetheless.

Cinder: Two hours?! Oh... I see. So you lied about not having penetrated Nikos and Schnee to bait me into asking pointless trivia about your family while others fought off Grimm and Crown members.

Ruby: Ew, too much details.

Blake: Not enough details.

Nora: Jaune, you dog

Weiss: I wish...

Cinder: What a deception... I guess we truly are not so different you and I. *flies away*

Ruby: So Jaune... wanna explain what just happened?

Jaune: Cinder showed up spouting movie villain monologue insinuating things about my love life. Then we talked about my sisters and how they made me wear pigtails.

Emerald: As someone who worked for Cinder for years... that sounds completely made up.

Ruby: Fine, keep your secrets Jaune... *walks away*

Jaune: *thinks to himself* Why do I have a sudden urge to tell Emerald to shut up and then brood. Oh no...

Cinder: *voice in his head* We are not so different you and I.

[glorious-sunset]

LBFAD Closing Artwork – Hidden Meanings, Part 2

The amount of thought that went into the artwork of LBFAD (Love between Fairy and Devil) is astounding! Parallel to the opening artwork, the closing artwork has 12 images, with the last showing events after the close of the series :D The images are grouped into themes and have many hidden meanings. Images 5-12 are discussed here (see Closing Artwork Part 1 for my discussion of images 1-4).

Image 5: Oblivion River bordering Cangyan Sea (image above)

Images 5-8 as a group show important locations within the series.

The Oblivion River itself is very significant as the warfront between Shuiyuntian and Cangyan Sea, and the resting place of spirits. Xiao Lanhua’s (XLH) simple wish at the Lantern Festival is for Oblivion River to be free of war. Besides war, Ronghao’s (RH) actions have added to the tragedy here, as the tortured spirits of both Moon Tribe and Fairy Tribe members are unable to rest. The first step toward peace is achieved here as DongFang QingCang (DFQC) and Changheng (CH) work together to bring relief to these poor spirits.

The hunters’ camp that DFQC and XLH visit in ep. 15 is located not far from the banks of the Oblivion River. The people of Cangyan Sea work hard for their sustenance and rely on hunting and fishing. The hunting aspect of their culture is represented by the injured deer in image 5.

The deer is also a good metaphor for CH. From ep. 26 until the series end, he wears antler-like headgear. Where a finger of Cangyan Sea stretches into the Oblivion River, on two occasions he receives profound psychological hurts. In ep. 27, he first learns from DFQC and XLH that RH is not the man he thought he was. RH was his only friend, and someone that he had trusted completely! But he didn’t know RH’s true nature at all. This shock is followed by a heart-breaking conversation with XLH. They had just married each other in the mortal realm and he tells her that he meant every marriage vow they made to each other. He finally reveals his feelings. But she rejects him all the same. As he tells Yunzhong (YZ) later in this episode, she was the only colour in his grey world and he now has no reason to live. He practically forces YZ to sentence him to execution. Like the dying deer in the image, at this point he is on the cusp of death.

In ep. 30, CH returns to this area to confront Xunfeng prior to the war. He learns that XLH’s life will be sacrificed when the war begins. Against his strongest instincts, CH had entrusted XLH to DFQC, and now it seems that DFQC is throwing XLH’s life away! D: CH hadn’t wanted any part of this war, but he is forced to lead the army to protect his love.

Also in ep. 30, Jieli confronts Dieyi by the Oblivion River, tricks her with an illusion of XLH, and bluffs her way into getting the antidote for Shangque. A great final act for Jieli, as she now expects to die from her own poison. Her only thought had been of protecting her friends, knowing the price she would have to pay would be her life.

Image 6: Tree of Emotions

During their hunters’ camp visit, XLH and DFQC discover that his metaphysical Tree of Emotions has started to sprout leaves! XLH walking beneath the Tree is a reference to DFQC telling Taisui in ep. 36 that “she has left traces all over the sea of my emotions.” From the very beginning to the very end, XLH has been the focus of DFQC’s emotions. She has triggered all seven emotions in him to intense degrees: joy, worry, sadness, pity, love, hate, jealousy (hate towards her enemies and jealousy towards CH, all because of his love for her).

Image 7: Lucheng

What’s not to love about the charming city of Lucheng? :D 500 copies of XLH’s likeness are posted all over town! DFQC and XLH spend a lot of time being jealous of each other’s engagements :D They spend months living together in Mr DongFang’s compound. A flower is bought with one gold bar. And wishes are made during their beautiful Lantern Festival date.

The wishes that XLH made come true! She wishes that DFQC “will always be safe and happy, surrounded by friends, brothers, loyalty and love, and never lonely again.” The effect is seen as early as ep. 26 as DFQC bonds with Xunfeng (XLH says “I think my wish seems to have come true.”) Later, his three “brothers” Xunfeng, Shangque and Changheng, and the Kings of Northern and Southern Youxin counties band together to save him when he is comatose. Finally, they loyally follow his orders to aid Shuiyuntian in the last episode! XLH’s wish that the Oblivion River be free of war also comes true.

DFQC’s wish, “XLH, I want you to stay by my side forever,” is partially fulfilled when XLH proposes to him a few episodes later. And by the end of the series it has come true :D

Image 8: Haishi

Haishi, the seaport city hiding a big bad den of evil, doesn’t have a lot of screentime. It appears in eps. 2-15 but not after that. The image shows the terraces of Haishi next to the central bridge. This view is seen only once in the series very briefly in ep. 3. (I discuss Haishi in more detail here).

Image 9: XLH against Shuiyuntian

Images 9-12 as a group show important events that occur after Lucheng.

The scene in ep. 26 where XLH faces off against the Shuiyuntian army is a pivotal moment for her. She is given the option of returning home to Arbiter Hall or Fountain Palace, which is exactly what she has been dreaming of since ep. 1. All she has to do is sacrifice DFQC. Easy choice, right? And so it is; she doesn’t need to think twice to realise that her idea of home is now wherever DFQC is. As DFQC says in ep. 35, she made an enemy of the world just to follow him. (This is repeated in the OST song Amnesia, “I once made the world my enemy.”)

This is the second time she has faced the might of Shuiyuntian. In ep. 9, she is accused of being a Moon tribe spy and would have done anything (except endanger Da Qiang) to protect her right to be accepted in Shuiyuntian. Now, she will do anything to protect DFQC.

Image 10: War

War between Cangyan Sea and Shuiyuntian strikes again. Unlike the images of the war 30,000 years ago seen in the opening artwork, this war has key differences. DFQC and CH are unwilling adversaries of each other. The Moon Tribe have very few soldiers, and their women and children are on the battlefield. YZ fabricated a blatant lie in order to attack and annihilate the Moon Tribe :(

Image 11: Our hero returns

This is the very last scene of the series (this artwork is my favourite!) After a long, cruel, 500 years of absence, DFQC has finally found his way back! He emerges as the ultimate hero, after his long journey from the heartless villain who tried to kill an innocent fairy. This ‘fairy’ now means everything to him.

His lovable mannerisms are shown in the image. One hand is behind his back (regal) and one cradles XLH’s head as he pulls her in for a kiss (dominating). The robes he wears are the same as in the last scene. Both have their eyes closed to savour this long, long, long-awaited moment :D

Image 12: The Rest of Eternity

As in the opening artwork, the twelfth and final image of the closing art is of the OTP’s life after the series end! They might be sitting on a boat on the Oblivion River. Then again, it could be a location we haven’t seen in the series - travelling on their honeymoon! DFQC has removed his crown, and hence his responsibilities at least for the moment, which supports the idea that they are on holiday. The lavender dress that XLH wears is of very special significance (covered in my ep. 5 review). And finally, they can watch the sunrise together every day for the rest of eternity :D

Here is a link to my article: LBFAD Closing Artwork – Hidden Meanings, Part 1

All of my LBFAD articles can be viewed with the tag #lbfad reflections (hyperlinked) and the table of contents to these is here.

[vickyvicarious]

OKAY, SO. Today's episode is one I've been looking forward to, and it definitely lived up to expectations. I absolutely adored how you can hear Jonathan at the end of his rope, all restraint fraying away. The rage in his voice when he wishes for a weapon "that I might destroy him" - not even 'kill', but 'destroy'. Partially that may be that he realizes Dracula is already 'dead', but even so that is some evocative violent word choice!

Speaking of Dracula, what an incredible performance today. I absolutely loved so many line deliveries. Something about his voice a little softer as he says "my carriage shall come for you," even though it's obviously a lie. Jonathan absolutely cannot stand his lies any longer - the way he spits out "Phh, sincerity!" is amazing. His voice as he's asking to go is so intense, so sharp and insistent but also pleading all the while, you can hear the anger and the fear. But Dracula is return is just so smooth, really really gets across that charm Jonathan is so suspicious of today. Soft, smooth, diabolical. The way Dracula stops to laugh after saying, "speed the parting guest, eh?" SO EVIL OF HIM. And the way he fuckin' mocks everything Jonathan has been through for the past two months, mocks the game he has forced him to play all this time, when he says "sad am I at your going, and that you so suddenly desire it." The sarcasm in those two words is astounding. I WANNA PUNCH HIM IN HIS STUPID EVIL FACE. Incredible. Absolutely top-tier performance.

The SFX were so good too, I absolutely loved how long the chains and such at the door went on, really drawing home how securely it has been shut all this time. And it gets even better because the length of it repeating as Dracula shuts the door again feels so final. Not to mention the wolves: I was loving the snarl of a few of them as Jonathan says they got angrier. The way Jonathan lingered/emphasized just slightly on "their red jaws" - similar to, but not as much as he did for Dracula and the vampire ladies, just enough to really cement the parallel but also show their fear doesn't come with the same kind of fascination.

And Jonathan realizes he will die here. He is too afraid to willingly walk into it. He feels so utterly defeated by this realization; he'd thought he was ready. He'd thought he had nothing left to lose, has already risked death in his last exploration, knows he does not want to allow Dracula and the vampire ladies to kill him at any cost, but... when faced with this certain death (which he witnessed only a few days ago) he can't do it. And it feels like a moral defeat as much as, more than any disappointment at a failed escape. He is absolutely miserable and you can hear it so well in his voice. He literally has to hide his face. He cannot bear to speak to Dracula again, just accepts the escort back to his room in miserable silence. It's agonizing.

And then Dracula smiles, and kisses his hand to Jonathan.

The defeat is so complete and so horrible. And then salt is ground into the wound with the conversation Jonathan overhears outside his doorway. The laughter. All four of them laughing at him. It's an almost childishly blatant type of cruelty for the vampire women to stick around until he sees them and then continue to laugh right in his face before running away - they can vanish into dust! They are choosing to scamper off like this because it feels more fun to them! It's awful and the voice acting is absolutely marvelous.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Leona Kingscholar - Gala Couture Vignette

"Through all of this..."

[Pomefiore Dorm – Ballroom]

Leona: Hips straight, feet forward… With every step, square the knees straight…

Leona: Put one foot in front of the other, as if walking on a thin line… However, take long strides with an open chest.

Leona: …So, how's that, then?

Leona: You can't have no gripes with my runway walk now, can ya?

Vil: …It's perfect.

Vil: It's like you've become a completely different person from how you were a few days prior. When did you suddenly decide to actually take this seriously?

Leona: I couldn't be bothered to care about this lame fashion show, but…

Leona: It's even more of a pain having you dogging me day in and day out.

Leona: Just thought it'd be easier to get it all over with.

Leona: How's that, honest enough for ya?

Vil: So, you'll take things seriously just to make it easier on yourself? …I can't help being astounded at the depths of your laziness.

Leona: Anyway, I'm done with the walking. Looks like I'm done with your "lessons."

Vil: How naïve. Did you truly believe that "walking" in my world is just putting one foot ahead of the other?

Leona: Hah? There's more!?

Vil: Naturally. You're missing the most important thing needed for a show. That is…

Vil: Posing!!!

Leona: Posing…?

Vil: You walk down the runway and strike a glamourous pose, while all eyes are upon you. That is what a fashion show truly is.

Vil: I'm sure even amateurs like yourself have seen examples on television or in magazines.

Vil: For example, you can place your hands on your hips at the end of the runway before turning back around…

Vil: …

Vil: And pose like this.

Leona: That's got nothin' to do with walking.

Vil: "Posing" is just another aspect of "walking."

Vil: If you cannot nail that down, then there's no way you'll pull the gaze of the audience.

Vil: In addition, a model's pose is a reflection of their own personality. It does not mean you can make it look exactly like mine does.

Leona: Ughh, what a pain. You just figure something out for me, then.

Vil: …Ugh. I thought you would say that.

Vil: That is exactly why I have arranged for these people to come help motivate even someone as uncooperative as you.

Leona: Somehow…

Leona: I have a bad feeling about this.

Rook: Why hello, Roi des Lions! Your mane is absolutely stupendous today, très bien!

Cater: So rare to see Leona actually putting some effort in～! I should snap a pic for Magicam to keep a record forever ♪

[snaps picture]

Leona: …

Leona: Rook and Cater, huh… Two more annoying people just showed up, now…

Leona: How're these guys gonna be of any help?

Vil: Rook has a keen eye for beauty. Cater has his finger on the pulse of the current trends.

Vil: They are the most suitable to provide advice on posing.

Rook: We just need to bring forth Leona-kun's beauty, is that right? Leave it to me.

Cater: We'll show you some poses that'll make you look awesome ♪

Leona: …

Leona: …Haah. Fine, whatever. Having all three of you nagging me just wears me out.

Leona: Let's just get this over with.

[Pomefiore Dorm – Ballroom]

Vil: In order for Leona to be the most dazzling thing at the fashion show, we need to develop a pose for him…

Vil: First, let's see what Rook and Cater have as suggestions.

Cater: Hmm, well～

Leona: …

Cater: How about a mysterious, upturned gaze that'll definitely be alluring? …So, pull your chin in like THIS! ☆

Leona: Urk!!!!!

Rook: I feel he still lacks a certain evanescence. Leona-kun, would you extend a hand towards me?

Rook: Gaze fervently into nothingness… Yes… As if you were in want of a prince to come rescue you…!

Leona: Hah? Stop saying weird sh―

Rook: Non! Face forward!! Square your shoulders and keep them parallel with the ground!!!

Leona: Urgh!!!!!

Rook: Oh yes, what if you held a flower? I wonder whether yellow or pink would suit you better?

Rook: This is too difficult to decide… How about we put both types on your shoulders to see!

Cater: Ooh, then what if we completely envelop his face in flowers, to give the effect of a more diminutive face…

Leona: …THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!!!

Rook/Cater: Ouch!!

Leona: Stop touching me. It's grossing me out.

Leona: I don't need you telling me every little detail, like pulling my chin in, or sticking out my hand, or whatever.

Leona: Cut the small talk, and just let me do it myself. It'll be much faster that way.

Vil: …Oh? Sounds like you're quite confident in yourself.

Leona: You want a pose that's "mysterious" and "evanescent," right?

Leona: I can give you that. Just shut up and watch.

Leona: …There you go. That should be good enough.

Rook/Vil/Cater: …

Rook: Roi des Lions…

Rook: …That was an absolutely beautiful pose!

Cater: And it looked totally natural～! You sure you're not used to doin stuff like this, Leona-kun!?

Leona: Back home, I'd have to pose properly for a buncha portraits and other commemorative photos and the like.

Leona: This is elementary.

Cater: P-Portraits, huh… Makes sense for a royal family.

Vil: …

Vil: …True, it's not bad.

Leona: Hahah! See!?

Leona: And with that, these lessons are finally…

Vil: However.

Rook/Leona/Cater: "However"?

Vil: …It's average.

Rook/Leona/Cater: !?

Leona: You make me go… through all of this…

Leona: And you have the gall to call me average…!?

Vil: I thought it was pretty, sure. Also, "mysterious and evanescent" isn't a terrible concept at all.

Vil: …However, that isn't enough.

Vil: For the sake of "Operation Steal the Tiara and the Audience," you need to have something more that's not just average.

Vil: Your posing just lacks that something.

Rook: …I see. Now that you mention it, I would definitely like to see just how far Leona-kun is able to go.

Rook: As always, Vil, your insights on beauty is dead on!

Vil: However, I'm having trouble determining what that "something" he lacks is.

Rook: This is rather perplexing. What do you think, Leona-kun?

Vil: ? Where did Leona go?

Cater: So, Leona-kun, uh…

Cater: He said "I'm done." and went back to Savanaclaw ♪

Rook/Vil: !?

Vil: What an irresponsible man…! We're going after him!

[Savanaclaw Dorm – Leona's Room]

[knock, knock, knock]

Vil: Leona!!! Unlock the door.

Leona: It's that annoying trio again…

Leona: Yaaawn. I think I'll just take a nap…

Ruggie: …Hm? Why're all of you hangin' outside Leona-san's room?

Cater: Ah, Ruggie-kun. We're just in a bit of a pickle, see…

Leona: …

Ruggie: …Oh, okay. So Leona-san's locked himself in his room.

Leona: …

Ruggie: Well, he always leaves his bay window open.

Leona: !?

Rook: Thank you, Monsieur Dandelion!

Rook: Excuse us, Leona-kun.

Vil: Must be so soothing… To be snuggled under your blankets and taking a nap like that.

Leona: Ruggie… You little…!

Ruggie: W-What else could I do!?

Ruggie: If the show goes up in flames 'cause of you, then I can't swap the tiara.

Vil: …I absolutely abhor doing things half-heartedly. Once you've decided to do something, you carry it out perfectly.

Vil: That spirit of tenacity held by the Fairest Queen is exactly what those of us in Pomefiore take pride in!!!

[throws off covers]

Leona: Hey, don't rip off my covers!!

Leona: I've been doin' all this, helping you out, but I get in return is complaint after complaint…

Leona: I even did exactly what you asked of me. But we're gettin' nowhere.

Rook/Cater: Well, that's…

Leona: I got no interest in wastin' any more effort on you all.

Leona: I'm takin' my nap now.

[pulls covers up]

Vil: …!!

Ruggie: Oh, man. He's just completely curled up under his blankets now. Don't think we'll be getting him up for a while now.

Cater: What should we do? With Leona-kun like this, I don't think we'll be able to work on his posing…

Vil: Fufu…

Rook/Ruggie/Cater: Hm?

Vil: Fufu…Fufufu! There it is! My inspiration!

[Classroom]

Cater: It's almost time for Leona-kun's fashion show.

Cater: Leona's posing'll have to wow the Queen of Faeland.

Cater: Sounded like Vil-kun had some stroke of inspiration, but he didn't give me any hints…

Cater: Makes me worry a bit～☆

Idia: Uh…

Idia: A-A-Actually… Cater-shi… W-Well…

Idia: C-C-Can you not… uh, j-j-just look at my, uh… d-d-d-drone feed without… a-asking…?

Cater: Hm, what'd you say～? I couldn't really hear you there.

Idia: Eh, uh, oh. Um, nothing.

Idia: Uggh～ This is why I can't stand extroverts who can't be bothered to listen. Maybe their personal space function is broken?

Fairy Emcee: Please give our next group a round of applause as they take the stage!

Cater: Oh! Looks like their show is starting now.

[Botanical Garden – Runway]

Cater: Kalim-kun and Jamil-kun are dancing so cool～ Wish I coulda streamed it to Magicam directly.

Idia: Good job, Jamil-dono…!

Fairy Emcee: The fairy in the center seems to be just as majestic.

Leona: …

Cater: It's Leona-kun!

Fairy Emcee: He's got eyes as bright as the sun, and a beautiful tanned glow! And look at that pure white robe that envelops his powerful frame!

Fairy Emcee: So gorgeous! He truly embodies this year's Fairy Gala theme of "fabulous."

Fairy A: Each perfect step he takes feels so somber. I wonder what kind of fairy he is.

Fairy B: With how he exudes grace and carries that splendid attire… He must be some kind of celebrity!

Leona: They're all already in an uproar…

Leona: …They should clutch their pearls while they still can.

Fairy Emcee: They're finally at the end of the runway. What kind of poses do they have in store for us?

Leona: As much as it pains me… I'll show them that special pose that Vil lauded.

Leona: I'll be the one to bring success to "Operation Steal the Tiara and the Audience"!

Fairy Emcee: WH-WHAT'S THIS!!!???

Fairy Emcee: …...

Fairy Emcee: …How astounding.

Fairy Emcee: Up until a moment ago, this fairy was exuding a mysterious and evanescent air…

Fairy Emcee: But with a flip of that majestic cape, he's swept his legs around and made a  graceful turn!

Fairy Emcee: He still has the original ennui he started with… with a dynamic twist!!!!!!

Fairy Emcee: I've never seen a fairy demonstrate such a bold and powerful pose!!

Fairy Emcee: The entire audience has been completely captivated by what they're seeing on the runway!

Cater: Th-That movement!

Cater: That…move…

Cater: That's how he cocooned under his blanket!!

Idia: Oho! Makes sense, cocooned…

Idia: …Eh? His blanket? Huh? Why?

Vil: That's right!

Idia: Eek! More people!

Cater: Ah, Vil-kun, and Crewel-sensei.

Vil: When Leona yanked his covers over his head to sulk in bed…

Vil: This pose idea was born.

Vil: Leona may be slovenly, but he has one merit of note. …And that's his level of intensity.

Vil: What all of his previous poses lacked was his own brand of "wildness"!

Leona: …

Fairy A: Look at all his ruggedly beautiful movements… I want to be one of those stray strands of hair that frame his face.

Fairy B: He looks difficult to approach, but I could watch him forever… What an amazing aura…

Leona: Hey, you lot. Stop whispering amongst yourselves…

Leona: And heap on more praise, why don'tcha?

Fairies: Kyaaaa!!!

Fairy A: Please! Sprinkle some of your dust on me!!

Fairy B: Toss some my way!

Leona: Here ya go!

[tosses fairy dust]

Fairies: KYAAAA～～～!!!

Crewel: Good boy, Kingscholar. See how you can actually do it when you apply yourself?

Crewel: His gallant movements puts a radiant luster in his attire, as well. That assures me that it was worth my effort to make them.

Idia: Everyone's eyes are glued on Leona-shi… To the point where just thinking about it is making me sick.

Cater: He was totally against it, but he's somehow managed to captivate all the fairies in the Fairy Gala…

Cater: That's Leona-kun for you ♪

Fairy Emcee: Everyone… Please give them a rousing ovation!!!!

Jamil: Leona-senpai, that was well done.

Leona: All the cheering's gratin' on my ears… I'm gonna grab some air.

Kalim: Eh? But we have to wait for Ruggie and the others at the entrance to the greenhouse!

Leona: …I'll go after I'm done.

Leona: The show's done already. I'm gonna do what I want now.

Requested by Anonymous.

[salmoncakepls]

A meal to remember. @iwtvfanevents

During the past year I have read and interacted with some of the most creative and talented writers. It astounds me the amount of skill that is in this fanspace and for this meal to remember I wanted to highlight some of my favorite writers and give them their well deserved flowers

Overview: With this fanspace I have traveled through many different universes, explored characters through an analytical lens that parallels the show itself, enjoyed these stories in fun, wholesome*, and interesting ways ! I have seen such beautiful creativity and I wanted to highlight some of my favorite fic writers and really delve into what I enjoy so so much about their writings in no particular order xoxo 

@nakiaslilhoodoo | SnakesandRabbits

Your fics are truly like comfort food to me like I love sitting down after a long day and reading like truly sweet stuff. A lift truly did give me that christmassy feeling during the holidays. It’s stuff like that that makes you say aw this is sweet you know, like matched with Then Leave like yess innovative trans lou / Lily I love that so so much. And we also have comedic aspects in em’ too which I love how your fics never fail to make me smile-- I remember getting giddy at the Chess series (I was like oo what’s coming next like I loved the lil beef its just very fun). Ohh and I cannot forget to mention The Time We Have which is quite beautiful. I like the calm of it, yes I can feel the fresh morning itself--it's just like the little things you know, those little moments are oh so lovely. 

@blacclotusss | BlaccLotuss

I love how you explore Jonah and Louis’ relationship like ion see much of it but you’re my go to in these especially alternate realities. Like the sweetness is off the charts in your fics and I love the fluffiness and how you branch out into that mix-medianess in Come Home to Me and your exploration of that sweet parts of Claudia and Louis together through Letters* .  Also woahh just god the sweetness in Sexual Immorality I love how you write Louis and Armand together, dialogue is just so so nice.  And the roleplay in the ending like oop you never fail to like get me with endings like reminding me of how shocked I was of Charred’s  ending, just so good and so insane. I loved the gothic fluff of that one itself, woah. 

@blueiight | southernhummingbird

Poeticism in unimaginable ways, you really have it.  I remember first reading rhododendron and like just the feeling was of an instrument the way your words just literally string me along. And then it’s like you pull out bangers after bangers in the delta breeze [dare to breathe] it’s nostalgic, beautiful, lush and heart wrenching all at once, again the words strung me along so perfectly. Lipstick traces is so so vivid and I love the story being told here, you pack so much in small sections it’s so astounding and inspiring to me < 3

@dictee | boltcutters 

I remember first reading dirges and oh my god not only are you somewhat of a prophet but you enraptured me into the beauty of your writing. It had lead me to the first taste  just quite beautiful it feel like a page ripped out of season two... and l just love how evocative it is. I also feel like I’ve gone on and on to you personally about how astounded I am by i am amazed by peace just dyke loumand is presented so so gorgeously--you’re writing in this reminds me of a past memory. It is so absolutely insane how you display your writing chops just so wonderfully. 

@knifeeater | serpentskirts

You have the type of writing style that makes everything so so beautiful. I think the romantic-eroticism in each of your stories are just shown in such a beautiful rhythmic way like in  perpetuum mobile and also in glass--which when I read it I feel like I got so caught up in your words it’s like your descriptions are consuming me. 

@enterprisery| flowerplots

Your writing feels like calm, the way your words are given to me. Like even in your erotic gore ( your heart inside my chest ) it feels like I’m just taking a breath-- and speaking of which breath, held  just displays that your creativity knows no bounds, in every fic you write it just fits so perfectly for these characters and it’s so wonderful how you write them in their descriptors (like in push too far --which btw I love the way it is formatted, so so unique) and in their dialogue (like in hunger )--it’s all so beautiful. 

@meastyeyes | meastyeyes

I really love Keep me Humming the fluffiness is really nice and I love how the vividness in it can match what we could see in the show. I enjoy how you show that love through Louis very very gorg the tension of it all amazing. 

@weather-mood | weathermood

All your stories have an air of magic in them like of course with your incredible list of fairytales The Princess and the Pea (aa louis princess moments I love) ,  Once Upon a Wine Dark Sea ( Which just fits so well--siren-vampirism yeah I love just seeing how you display these characters as different mythos, your universes are so out of this world it is amazing.),  and  rumplestiltskin (which  I remember when I first read you had that beautiful air of mystery in that beginning and to come to find out it was simply armanlou roleplaying antics--it kind of unlocked something in me) but also seeing that freshness and dreaminess that is featured in fairy tales also in your stories that are not necessarily based off of that (such as Train Tracks , Glass Coffins and Golden Roses, and mental topology experiments to the tune of bubblegum bitch ). Just an amazing selection of works--in your long fics they always keep me guessing where it’s gonna go and I love that. 

@nlbv | nlbv

Your writing is just so so amazing, descriptors off the charts I must start  with baby father in which you start off with me already visualizing everything. The mood is set in such a nostalgic way it’s vividness takes me into the scene. Exploration of Louis and Claudia is always so gorg and you do it so so wonderfully. And I remember, oh, I remember reading the different stories in Scenes From A Marriage how you can take moments from the canon out and expand upon it, keep the scene running all with gorgeous prose. 

@shewhomustbecalledking | dirtygoldensoul

a holy love is so so atmospheric I feel as if I am in the universe itself when I  read it. And I feel like that’s a common thread within your stories. Because whenever I always feel like I’m falling into the world whether it’s more grounded in the rivalry induced beautiful liars or being put into the true blood inspired Under the Blood Moon you just know how to create these worlds and quite wonderfully so. 

@devotiondroid | themasterletters

Your ability to put these characters in the show in different situations so eloquently is so so astounding to me. I remember when I’d first started reading your writings and seeing how the plot literally kept me guessing and it had done the same in cord of communion and especially in quizas (which, I am obsessed with to this day it has an amazing grasp on me). And the way your genres can shift and morph from wolfsbane to in a lonely place like it feels like you can do it all and still enrapture me--such beautiful prose and such an engaging writing style just fantastic. 

@diasdelfuego | gaypiratedivorce

Little Kidnaps was one of the first (if not the first) IWTV fic I have ever read so your writing instantly implemented a special place in my heart. And  this fic--and nox itself-- is something that I always kept going back to and rereading every other time it’d update or come to my mind. You have such a beautiful vision of the IWTV story itself (and the VC as a whole) and how you balance these characters is just so wonderful--it kept me reading in times I was deprived from the show. But your lovely writing does not stop there of course--I’ll let you win really is so so gorgeous wow like you got me with the noir setting and it astounds me how vivid you write it and also try to swallow the wave is so amazing as well from start to finish and your writings just do that certain amount of re-readability that I will always keep coming back to you.  

@iwtvdramacd18 | The_Lame_Goat

Your descriptions in stories are out of this world the tiptoeing between romance and horror and romance inside that very horror is very gorgeous--Lunacy is a great example of this, and the way it is set up in little fragments ( non- linear) it is just wonderful what you’re doing and continue to do. Prey Drive I feel like is also in this category and oh I do love me some prey drive (it’s one of those goat classics™ ) and I come back to it because it does pull me in with that chase with that hunt--just all of it is gorgeously written. I think what also just drives me to your writing is your characterization and I think in  Wolfkiller it is especially on display. I love how you write Claudia and the horror of Lestat --Wolfkiller never fails to make me say ‘You get it’ because you really do and it drives me insane. And of course special mention to To Pluck Gently At Strings it goes so hard I became a Armand/Nicki understander because of such vividness in the descriptors just great !

@kittyldpdl | kittyldpdl

I’m not sure if it was the night island  or bass in my body that I had first read but regardless I had been coerced by your writing. Like it is banger after banger with your fics, your prose so beautiful and it hypnotizes me into reading more and more. cleave/tie left me wondering what was next, left me thinking about it for days in and out and rereading it the effect just leaves me going back to it again.  And I know I’ve talked to you at length about your fics (lol when I was reading the bloody chamber I was like was that an #kittyldpdl reference ) but I feel as though I could go on and on about how amazing your prose is. Footfall had me again feeling that same way, falling in love with your writing again, making me curious about it all--mixture of the gore eroticism. Fantastic and inspiring all around ! 

Collaborations:

dirtygoldensoul x gaypiratedivorce Collab: 

And it’s quite amazing how both of yall can beautifully mesh their writings--this is displayed wonderfully in overlords I spent a whole day reading it and catching up on it, y’all writing combined truly encapsulates that air of mystery and a feeling of nostalgia (but in an ominous deja vu type of way). That just very thing entrances me immensely. 

MasterMood Universe:

It was a holiday season gift, it was a valentine's day gift--and it keeps on giving. Like it was insane from the start and you both, as I mentioned, have a feature in your writings where you cannot tell where its gonna go and it leaves you anticipating and excited to see what happens next. And of course bonus points because of how wholesome* the whole teachers’ pet series is. I  can tell y’all had so so much fun writing these stories because I can see it directly through the writing and it only added to my own enjoyment. 

weathermood x nlbv Collab: 

 Pirouette is an amazing look into Lily and like I love how yall take this little bit we have of her in the show and expound on her in such a complex way. I love in general just taking off little parts of the show and making more of it but this is next level--and y’all did it so wonderfully woah. 

The_Lame_Goat & kittyldpdl Collaboration:

Y’all writing together stuns me to the point of extreme amazement. The wrath  of the lamb has some of the most beautiful and addicting prose ever, and it is such a wonderful blend of y’all two it scares me !! The story and the words itself just absolutely wonderful--it’s the type of thing you have to read over again and slow to just get that feeling of when you’d first read it. So excited but apprehensive for the second chapter (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me a warning before yall post it I need to mentally prepare and I dont wanna die !!!!! )

I want to specially mention ‘House’ which just shows the talent on full display at full force. Like in general I have never seen anything like it before--for starters just the immense collaboration between 7 people who are so dedicated to not only the show but their craft as well--and to do that and for it to flow so beautifully is absolutely both insane and amazing to me. The whole concept of the story being akin to like a game--trying to essentially escape the house, being forced back in and in turn being plunged into little scenes of the house itself--excerpts of the past through the overall horror element of the house itself. Going through hallways to try to complete it and find every bit of the house--it is so vivid in the way that the chapters are set up. When you get stuck you really feel stuck and the high emotive chapters really get you and then you’re pushed into a calm moment and everything feels okay or not quite right--I love the many many combinations of the ways you can go (how the house gets bigger so it feel like the possibilities truly are endless !).  I remember when I first read it and I was absolutely astounded. I felt every level of emotion, the happy, the sad, the nostalgia--just everything that makes the show the show is put into ‘House’ gracefully. Such a masterful collaboration, I wanna hang it up on my fridge. House inspired me to make D;I the way it is-- the interactiveness grabbed me and the story itself made me play along til’ the end (& again) and I will keep rereading until it consumes me whole. Mwah Everyone who wrote in it did such a lovely job even when I tried to look at a single chapter it entrances me and pushes me into reading the whole thing <3

That’s about it--I do feel like I missed a few fic writers ( but ofc if we ever have something like this again I’ll make a bigger list so I have more time~~)  I always try to comment on stuff I enjoy so just know I see ur talenttt & I see you. I just love the creativity in general and woah everyone is so so amazing 

[presumeddeaddie]

it’s incredible that the show postures buck and eddie as integral to one another in a way that exceeds pure, platonic best friendship. i compare them a lot to hen and chimney who are best friends and partners, clearly integral to each other, but never quite as intense as eddie and buck. i also compare them a lot to the staple couples that the show has established, and the parallels are astounding. buck and eddie are best friends, but it is always taken a step further than any of the other best friend pairings the show has given us.

if buddie is the fault of anyone, it’s absolutely the show’s fault. they are romantic coded in so many ways that it feels almost ignorant to stick to a narrative that they’re just best friends. it narratively would not make any sense to avoid exploring that further when it’s been building up to that for seasons. it genuinely feels like an inevitability that there is going to have to be conversations around the intimacy of their relationship that is clearly coming from both sides of the equation.

i know i really hate when people try to shape it as fanfare when it’s incredibly obvious that buddie’s relationship isn’t a typical, close-knit best friendship like you would see not only on the show itself, but from other shows as well. it’s like putting a photo in front of someone and asking them to describe what they’re seeing and what emotions it’s invoking, and then being told “nah, that’s not there. that’s not what you’re seeing.” that’s baffling, especially if other participants are echoing the same findings.

obviously, we won’t know what direction the show is going to take until it plays out on the screen, but it’s not a stretch of the imagination to come to some educated guesses that the nature of their relationship will evolve into something more than the label it currently has.

[gyudons]

i’m sorry but this is the FUNNIEST THING i’ve ever read… a bunch of academics peering at this wooden dildo and having Intense Discussions about it

GUARDIAN - Archaeologists believe they may have found the only known lifesize Roman dildo, discovered in a ditch in what were the farthest northern fringes of the empire.

If it was not used as a sexual implement then the 2,000-year-old object may have been an erect penis-shaped pestle, or it could have been a feature from a statue that people touched for good luck.

What it definitely is not is what it was catalogued as after its discovery at the Roman fort of Vindolanda in Northumberland in 1992: a darning tool.

“I have to confess,” said Newcastle University archaeology senior lecturer Rob Collins, “part of me thinks it’s kind of self-evident that it is a penis. I don’t know who entered it into the catalogue. Maybe it was somebody uncomfortable with it or didn’t think the Romans would do such silly things.”

If they did think that, they could not be more wrong given that two- and three-dimensional representations of phalli were ubiquitous in the Roman world, whether in mosaics, frescoes, pot decoration or pendants worn around the neck.

The Vindolanda phallus is 16cm long but, researchers say, was probably larger because archaeological wood is prone to shrinkage and warping.

It has been examined by researchers at Newcastle University and University College Dublin. The analysis has revealed it to be, at the very least, the first known example of a disembodied phallus made of wood recovered anywhere in the Roman world.

The phallus was found in a ditch along with dozens of shoes and dress accessories as well as craft waste products such as leather off-cuts and worked antler – perhaps one reason for it being seen as a darning tool.

“What makes this a first is that it is not a small, miniature phallus,” said Collins. “It’s lifesize. It’s also important because wood just doesn’t normally survive … we couldn’t find any parallels.”

The size and uncertainty of function was fascinating, he said. “Often in archaeology when we find an object we can tell what it was used for or deduce what it was used for. That wasn’t the case for this object. We have had to cast our nets wide in thinking what would a six-and-a-half-inch wooden carving of a phallus be used for.

“We had some very interesting discussions.”

Ancient phallic objects were often used for warding off evil. The analysis showed the Vindolanda phallus had notably smoother ends, indicating it was used for something over a period of time.

The team has alighted on three possible theories, all of which are outlined in a detailed discussion paper published in the journal Antiquity.

One theory is that it was used for sexual reasons. That could mean it was a sex toy although some caution is needed, said Collins.

“Sometimes they [dildos] weren’t always used for pleasure … they can be implements of torture so I’m very conscious of using the term sex toy. Hopefully that is what it was used for. That is the most exciting and intriguing possibility.

“If that is the case it would be, to our knowledge, the first Roman dildo that’s been encountered from archaeology. We know from Greek and Roman poetry and Greek and Roman art that they used dildos. But we haven’t had any archaeological examples found which is intriguing in itself.

“If it is that and it is found up here on the northern fringe of the empire and not down in the rich heartland of Roman Italy … it is kind of astounding.”

Theory two is that the object was used as a pestle, either for culinary purposes or to grind cosmetic or medicinal ingredients. Its size would have made it easy to use and the shape would have imbued the food or ingredients with perceived magical properties.

The third option is that it was meant to slot into a statue which passersby would touch for good luck or to absorb or activate protection from misfortune – which was common throughout the Roman empire.

If that was the case, the statue would probably have been located near the entrance to an important building but the evidence indicates that the phallus was either indoors or at least not in an exposed position outside for any length of time.

Researchers hope the Vindolanda phallus will prompt a search for similar objects in other collections. In the meantime it has gone on display at the Vindolanda museum.

[regulusrules]

New to your blog, I was wondering if you have a Merlin fic rec list that's just your favorites. I unfortunately missed the Merlin fandom back when the show was airing so I always feel like I'm just missing the greatest stuff from other people

Hello friend! Welcome to my humble abode of a blog (which resembles more of a Merlin waste disposal). Like you, I missed the show when it was airing, but honestly when you stay as long in this fandom as I have, you will constantly be exposed to wonderful creative energies that give their all. It's a timeless fandom, one of the very few, and no matter when you enter it you will always feel fulfilled. :)

So, favourite fics! Gosh, how can I fit 2K+ bookmarks in one ask. When it comes to this fandom, I admit: I have no life. I've read a real huge number of fics throughout the years, but sometimes it's inevitable for fics to get lost in a sea of bookmarks. So to make things easier, I'll write you some canon fics that immediately come to my mind for how unforgettable they were.

No order; each one has its own chamber in my heart.

Short fic recs (1K-50K)

1. Our broken pieces by @aramblingjay. 10K, T, Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort.

Am I purposefully putting this one on top this time so that everyone who stumbles across this ask could check it out? Yes. Yes I am. Is it my personal mission for the fandom to give this fic the love and kudos it deserves? You bet it's a big overbearing yes. And yes I want you to cry and feel your heart twist with agony because of how beautiful it is. My eyes never shed tears for a fic before this one, and never will after it. There is something in the way the author broke Arthur that just resonated in my innards. And the way Merlin was there for him, not a placebo "I'm here" but there, in all actuality, doing so with every fiber of his love, made it something else. I like to believe that this fic was crafted so perfectly in a parallel universe, and sent to us as a blessing we never knew we needed.

2. Beauty in the Ashes of Our Lives by Fulgance. 21K, T, Canon AU, Magic Reveal.

This is probably the umpteenth time for me to recommend this fic, but I won't stop. I can't stop. This fic ruined me so slowly, and healed me even slower. All my Merlin friends do not believe why this would be one of my favourite fics of all time with what Arthur did, but honestly, it's the fact that the writer wrote it so convincingly that makes me crumble internally. It isn't easy to write angry Arthur, and it's even harder to write him grief-stricken, but here, the author blended both elements so perfectly. It's impossible to forget this fic. It's worth your every second.

3. Linger On Your Pale Blue Eyes by supercalvin. 18K, T, Canon Era, Touch-Starved.

Will this fic linger in your heart? It sure as hell never leaves mine. Every once in a while, I have to go back to this fic and read it like a morning paper. Some fics sustain you.. this is definitely one of them. Most of @supercalvin's fics are of sustaining material. They are made with such depth and broad understanding to the characters that you should take notes. There's this one line that everytime I cross this fic I instantly remember and I go to the nearest pillow to just AAA a little bit. When you reach it, I'm sure you'll recognise it, and I'll be waiting for you to come AAA with me.

4. Dower the Stars by RurouniHime. 40K, E, Golden Age, Pining Arthur, BAMF Merlin.

I don't think anything levels the levels of intimacy in this fic. It is one of the best Arthur characterizations I've ever read. His boundless love and pining for Merlin— oh my heart. Also, the world building and amount of research that must have been done for this fic is astounding. I was this close from following the author's footsteps and, idk, writing an entire research paper about Arthurian lore or something. The moment I read it I immediately wanted to contact the author and just tell them WHY ARE YOU BLESSING US WITH ALL THIS INSTEAD OF PUBLISHING IT?? It was amazing. I reread it a month ago for the third (fourth?) time and found myself gasping and aweing as if I never read it before. It keeps being an experience every time, one so worthwhile.

5. from hearth and ashes, we’re reborn by @remuscariad. 5K, G, Canon AU, Magic Reveal, Hurt/Comfort.

Earthshatteringly-poetic isn't a made-up word powerful enough to describe the beauty of prose here. There are fics that you open and immediately know that you're sold: this was one of them. Its summary alone dropped my jaw down to my neighbour's floor. The dialogue is so meticulously crafted it feels like reading a piece from a past era. Genuinely beautiful.

6. Half of my soul by marvelxpendragon. 2K, G, Post-Canon AU, King Arthur/Court Sorcerer Merlin.

This fic is half of my soul, as the poets say. So what if I reject the canonic ending and resort to pain myself with fics like this instead? I sometimes feel we, as a fandom, try to up the angst of the finale so that we forget how painful it was by bringing even MORE pain. But it's pain that I delight in, because it's pain that MAKES SENSE. Yes give me MCD but with a freaking beautiful life like the one this author gave us. Make me believe it was all worth something. Make me believe they lived.

7. whisper to the flame by @missfaber. 16K, E, Canon AU, Wounded Arthur, Hurt/Comfort.

*clears throat* *prepares for a mental scream*TELL ME HOW YOU LIGHT YOUR FIRESSSSS *clears throat once more and pretends I'm okay*

So, as the author wrote, this is indeed a love letter to the two characters we love more than anything. More than anything, I loved the fact that the author gave Arthur agency to think and act and be a king, even when he was still a prince. Even in most fics where Arthur already knows, this isn't common. So whenever I find a fic that has Smart!Arthur and a lovesick one at that, I would vouch my life and soul for it. Also Protective!Knights is the best thing in the world, ok? I would die for this discourse for real.

8. As a Sea Shell by bathilda bagshot (wellthengameover). 12K, T, Canon AU, Slow Burn.

Okay, so this fic is only bookmarked "Agony until 7 AM", and with that, a rush of drowning memories always come crushing my soul. I lost sleep and SANITY over this fic. I was thrown from a cliff and kept hanging in the air without a respite until the very END. I read it a couple weeks after the finale and it broke me even FURTHER. I was promised growing old together, and it was a big LIE. And yet I love it so, so dearly.

Honourary biased mention:

9. My heart is readily yours by yours truly. 11K, T, Canon AU, Protective Arthur, Hurt/Comfort.

Sometimes I don't believe I had it in me to write this. Like.. what, dearest self, the hell were you thinking. With tyismso, I somehow balanced fluff and angst— a solid magic reveal fic. But this one? I only knew ✨pain✨

.. and I don't regret a thing.

[Long fic recs]

[loisfreakinglane]

what are your top five stories (books, movies, tv shows, etc) from the first half of 2024 and why! gush about it ❤️

omg that is SO HARD to narrow down!!!!!! THERE'S BEEN SO MUCH EXCITING CONTENT THIS YEAR! i'm gonna go with anything i've watched for the first time this year, whether it was a 2024 release or not

interview with the vampire season 2~ such a perfect, beautiful, incredible, amazing story. i had very limited faith that season 2 would rise to the heights of season 1 but BY GOD IT DID. and delainey brought so fucking much to the part, assad was genuinely astounding as armand, jacob continued to enthrall with even MORE sides to louis, sam did sooooooo much with such a limited role- we had such an embarrassment of riches with every fucking step. praying season 3 keeps up this level of quality but even if it doesn't, the story told here was so complete.

CHALLENGERS!!!!!!!!!! MOVIE OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!! tackling multiple eras at once, three distinct characters with three distinct dynamics between them, laying out plainly how these people function and why they need each other so deeply. SUCH A LESSON IN STORYTELLING JFC. enthralling cinema. soundtrack of all time.

suits............. LMAO. in searching for television that my father would like to watch that wasn't just another goddamn procedural, i stumbled facefirst into suits and my brain melted for 2 months. something about this show gripped me by the throat and didn't let go til i dragged @tchallaas into watching the whole goddamn nine seasons too. i don't know! i was just so invested and GRIPPED WHOLLY for 9 seasons straight. and then i turned around and watched all nine seasons again. FUCKIN LAWYERS AM I RIGHT.

the book of clarence~ i laughed, i cried, i yelled. this movie! this story told parallel to the biblical one smacked me right in the face. lakeith is fucking amazing. this covered so many genres? and yet it always flowed so well to me? it's funny to watch this movie dismissed either for being sacrilegious or preachy, but i guess i don't have a dog in that fight. i just felt touched, i felt moved. and i also laughed a fuckton.

the acolyte ~~~ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! IS WHAT I'VE NEEDED FROM WAR STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i haven't felt so engaged in this universe since i watched the last jedi. and that was kind of the first time i felt THAT ENGAGED in this universe since i was a child with all my padme barbies. kind of a big deal for me!!!!!!! my baby twin sisters, that dichotomy of dark and light twins (i see u og star wars novels), whose roles aren't nearly so set in stone, some complex depictions of jedi masters, seeing a lot more of the world outside jedi shenanigans, REVENGE QUEST, fully canon dark side seduction, MANNY JACINTOS ARMS

so so so many honorable mentions, but i'll limit it to: shogun, lisa frankenstein, pokemon concierge, argylle, maxton hall, thelma, mary and george....... AND BAD BOYS RIDE OR DIE I SAID WHAT I SAID GOODBYE

[elles-home]

anyway something i’ve recently been thinking a lot about is one piece’s message of “children should not bear the sins of their fathers”. and you might think i’m about to talk about ace but i’m actually gonna talk about orochi

he was the person ace could have become if people knew ace was the son of the pirate king, and hunted and attacked and tortured for merely existing. luckily, ace’s identity was kept a secret and he found people that loved him at a young age, before he became radicalized. he just felt unwanted and so damn angry all the time, then he met his brothers and found a reason to live and keep going (sorry i said i won’t but i’m talking about ace anyway)

and then we see orochi. taking away all his sins aside, when he didn’t commit atrocities one after the other in his ambition to be shogun (and destroy wano), he was Just Some Guy. his clan had fallen from grace, he didn’t even have influence, and as far as we can tell, he was really just trying to live a normal life.

but the people, en masse, took it upon themselves to hunt this guy since he was a child, hunt his entire family line too, for the crimes committed by a power hungry man two generations ago. he bore the sins of his (grand)father. he didn’t have to. he was born innocent, just like ace was.

and i think that’s cool, that one piece shows us we really, really shouldn’t hold babies accountable for things that happened before they were even born. and then show us what could happen when they do (in such subtle ways too, you would never think this was a parallel to ace — at least i haven’t seen people talk about it).

of course i am not saying he should be forgiven or anything. but he’s such an interesting character. and the parallels are quite astounding.