#the sun started changing position in the second gif i had to cut off so many frames </3

[ruvviks]

FALLOUT 4 ➤ scenery [5/?]

[usernameforaboredcat]

Hold Me Closer (Sanji X GN!Reader)

Request from @charliepoopyfart 💕

(I got this request and I had like a Thats So Raven vision of what I have to write! Also ngl I'm kinda proud of this, I love Sanji and I feel like I did his justice)

Sanji doesn’t know what happened, just seeing his partner curled up shaking and crying sent him into the most comforting auto pilot.

Warnings: Panic attack & crying

The sun had set hours ago, the Sunny slowly rocking itself and rocking those who where tired to sleep. The kitchen of the sunny was quiet, too quiet. Like every other night, the man who practically lived in the kitchen stood in silence as he finally finished cleaning the dishes. Everyone was fed with his delicious food and now his kitchen was clean, but it was clean with just him. His usual help wasn't there. The one who would insist in staying and helping him clean up. Multiple times a day, no matter what he says he'd always get a "No no its fine, I don't mind staying back with you to help".

The simple act of kindness always made his heart flutter, ah he could never not love (Y/n). Speaking of, where are they? They sped ate through dinner and left without a word, as if they weren't even there at all in the first place. Well, no matter, no one else seemed too phased by it. But something was...itching at Sanji. Like a little voice at the back of his mind saying "find them" like some sort of 6th sense.

Sanji folded the damp hand towel over the counter, turning off all the lights on his way out. The Sunny was dead quiet, a rare occurrence on the Sunny especially with such a loud crew. As Sanji made his way back this his room, his body stopped on its own. In front of (Y/n)s room. He didn't know how, but Sanji could sense a terrible feeling, aura even coming from that room. But he didn't let that get the better of him, he is a grown ass man and one of the strongest in the whole crew after all. He takes a step closer, reaching his hand up and knocking on the door. "Sweetheart, you okay?". The mood in the air had changed, he had cut through it with a knife.

The slight sound of a sniffle had made all the hairs on his body stand up, causing him to move without thinking and open the door. His blood runs cold, his soul leaving his body. There sits (Y/n), curled up in a sitting fetal position, eyes red, face wet and puffy, body shaking, hands clutching at their scalp ready to rip out with ease at any second. "(Y/n)!". Sanji bolts over, eyeing them with their own panic. Shit! They're clearly having a panic attack, looking as if they're going to pass out at any second from all they hyperventilating. "I'll go get Chopper". Before he can move, the edge of his sleeve is grabbed. He looks up at (Y/n), looking into their now dilated eyes.

"Please just...stay with me". They beg. All he can do is comply, nodding at them with a soft smile on his face. "Anything for you". He tells them. (Y/n)s hand slides to grab at his hand, Sanji giving a reassuring squeeze and rubbing his thumb over their knuckles. Their breathing has already slowly started to slow down, hand still shaking as they desperately cling to his. "Is there anything I can get you?". He asks. They just shake their head. "Right now...just you". They answer. Sanjis soft smile widens, nodding again.

Sanji doesn't know how long he sat there, holding their hand until (Y/n) finally clamed down. He could wait hours, hours sitting on his knees till his legs hurt just to be there and stay with them. He'd do that and so much more, just by simply asking. "Sanji". His ears perk up and the tiny call of his name, barely above a whisper. "Yes, love?". He responds. "I think...I'm okay now". (Y/n) tells him, bringing a bright smile to his face. "Okay enough for me to spoil you?". He asks. (Y/n) lets out a soft laugh, squeezing his hand slightly. "Yes". They answer with a laugh.

With that simple agreement, Sanji swiftly grabs a blanket and wraps it around their body. And with ease, he picks them up and carries them out the room. "I didn't know spoiling me meant babying me". (Y/n) jokes. Sanji chuckles. "Anything for you, baby". He flirts, getting another laugh from the lump in his arms. Oh how it was music to his ears, no matter how cliche that is to say it's how he honestly feels. Sanji uses his foot to push open the door to the kitchen, sitting (Y/n) down at the table and walking to the kitchen. "How does a nice warm [fav hot drink] sound? Or would you prefer a sweet [fav sweet] instead?". He asks, already getting ready to make whatever. "Just the drink thanks, I need to hydrate after crying so much". (Y/n) responds with a slight laugh, trying to pop a joke to help the mood. "Of course, anything for you". He answers.

The two sat in a comfortable silence as Sanji made the drink, the sound of the fridge opening and closing along with other clinks and clacks. Soon enough the sound gets replaced with shoes walking over. Sanji places down the drink in front of (Y/n), who turns to look up at him. "Thank you, Sanji. Really, I mean it a lot". They thank him. "Don't worry about it, if you need anything and if this happens again you always have me. I'll always be here for you, love". He tells them in a soft tone. (Y/n) lets out a little laugh, reaching out and grabbing the drink to finally take a sip of the drink. "Its delicious! Thank you again, Sanji". They thank again. He smiles softly down at them. "Anytime".

[somethingswift19]

Toxic - JJ Maybank x (f) reader

| JJ x Bartender (f) Reader

| Warnings : angst, swearing, cheating

| Summary: You are in a toxic situationship with JJ Maybank and no matter what you do, you can't seem to let him go.

| (a/n): Based off of a real conversation and very true events

This is my first ever imagine so please be nice :) hope you guys enjoy! P.S. feedback is greatly appreciated! Sorry if this is terrible!

Part 2

"No. That's unacceptable," JJ seethed. "How could you be going on a date? No. Who the fuck is this guy anyway?" This argument was becoming less and less playful by the second. The usual playfulness in his tone was sounding more like jealousy.

"Don't worry about it," you sigh in response. "And I'm going because he's cute and funny and sweet. Plus my dad is pissed that I'm still single at 22." At this point you were just trying to end this conversation seeing as there were people actively sitting at the bar. Not to mention the fact that if your boss saw any of this happening on the cameras, you would both be screwed.

"Your dad and I have that in common," he smirked. "But I still don't think you should go."

"Why shouldn't I go? I'm not seeing anyone! So why the hell n-?"

"Because you can't!" JJ cut you off. "You're mine, don't you get that? It's my turn." His usual arrogant demeanor was faltering as darkness started forming behind his usually playful eyes.

"YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" you yelled getting more irritated by the second.

He looked like a puppy that had just been kicked. He knew you were right. He knew the position he had put you in. That he had lied to you time and time again. But he loved you, not her. "You know our situations are completely different. You know mine is complicated."

"No it's really not that complicated actually," rolling your eyes and giving an aggravated shrug of your shoulders. "Do you or do you not have a girlfriend?"

JJ just stared at you, letting out a huff. His blue eyes now appeared completely black as a pink tinge came over his lightly freckled face.

"I said do you or do you not-"

"YES! Ok, yes I do! But-"

"Then that's it!" it was your turn to cut him off. "It's not fair to me. None of this is fair to me! When you're here you act as if we are together. You're physically all over me. You compliment me and know what to say to make me feel special. Always keeping me attached somehow. You're always telling me how I'm beautiful and gorgeous and amazing...but then you go home to her."

"You were supposed to wait for me!" heartbreak evident in his voice.

"I DID WAIT!" a tear slipped down your cheek. "I did fucking wait for you! And you went back to her."

"That's cold."

"But it's true," you bit back. "And the worst part is I had to find out from someone else."

You thanked the heavens you were the mid and so your shift was ending. Gathering your things you quickly clock out and head for the door. Tears now threatening to spill over.

"Just wait! I'll have my turn one day!" a smirk covered his sun kissed face. It was a complete 180, his cockiness returning. Almost like he was pretending this argument never happened. "You're mine and that will never change."

As soon as you reach the parking lot the sobs started. Not because of the argument but because of what he just said...because deep down you know he's not wrong. And the thought of that makes you sick. How could you let yourself fall so head over heels in love with someone who is already taken? But then the image of his smile flashes through your mind and you think of what it feels like to be wrapped in his embrace and you have your answer.

[prismuffin]

Toms Peter x black witch male reader ?,

maybe like a roof date where Peter conveniently forgets everything so reader saves the day? 🤭

A/n: Oooooo alright alright I'm down with this.

Best one yet

MCU!Peter Parker x black!male!witch!Reader

( summary: Peter was running late for your annual rooftop date causing him to forget everything he planned on bringing, but that's ok 'cause you've been meaning to spoil him more anyway )

warnings?: light swearing, mentions of magic and spells, witchcraft jokes,

f/c means favorite color

!-!more under the cut!-!

Peter cursed as he barely dodged a building, he was swinging rather quickly through the city. He'd gotten detention which held him back for about an hour after school which wasn't good because he has made plans to meet you afterwards. He stopped at home to change quickly before heading right back out to see you, hoping that his texts that he'd sent with his schools terrible internet had went through. With one final swing, he flipped onto the rooftop of a tall building, landing with a thud as he caught his breath. There you sat, your pretty dark skin looked stunning against the setting sun and he sighed, his eyes meeting yours. "I-I am so sorry I'm late! Mr. Harrington gave me detention and it completely threw my entire schedule off!" He rambled, taking off his mask as he neared your form, dropping to sit right beside you. "It's fine Peter I got your texts," You waved him off, scooting a bit closer to him to kiss his cheek in a greeting. He smiled at the affection, "where's the food?" You asked, and Peter's smile slipped off of his face. He groaned, shoving his face in his hands as he flopped onto his back. "I knew I was forgetting something." You heard him mumble from his hands before he lowered them to peek at you, who had moved so that you were now hovering over him. "Sorry Y/n...I was in such a rush to get here that I forgot everything.." You chuckled and shrugged, "It's alright Petey, I got this alright?" He quirked his brow, watching you as you stood up.

Shaking off your hypothetical nerves you shot Peter a wink before positioning your hands across each other. They glowed a dull f/c that brightened the longer your held their position. With a quick flip of your hand you'd conjured up a large blanket, pulling it from god knows where until the entire thing was set in your hands. "..woah..." Peter mumbled as you spread the blanket onto the concrete rooftop. "Your magic is so pretty Y/n," Peter scooted himself onto the newly placed blanket, spreading his fingers across the soft material that he assumed was cotton. Sitting across from him, you smiled, "Well you're gonna be seeing a lot more of it since you forgot everything~" You teased him and he sighed before apologizing again. "It's alright Pete, I'm just joking. At least this gives me an excuse to practice a few new spells." You dug through your bag, pulling out three crystals that Peter definitely didn't know the name of despite you ranting to him about the different types constantly. You placed them in a triangular formation before you began your second spell. Peter leaned in a bit closer, watching you with intent and curiosity as you started muttering what he could only assume is an incantation under your breath. Peter almost audibly laughed as he witnessed you pull out a wand from your bag, it's just so cliché that you'd have a wand though he knows better than to distract you while you're attempting a spell. Last time he did, you accidentally turned him into a talking frog. He shuddered at the memory, watching as your hands glowed that same f/c as before, the color making its way to the very tip of your wand. Your wand glowed especially bright as you aimed it down towards the crystals. Peter had to shut his eyes at the amount of light that had come from you.

Opening his eyes again, he stared in awe as full plates of fresh hot food, mostly pastas, were sat on the blanket along with what appeared to be sparkling cider. Glancing up he realized that f/c sparkles surrounded him, they were almost like floating stars. They twinkled, and when he touched one it only exploded into more little sparkles. His eyes snapped back to your form at the sound of pouring liquid, he blushed as you stared at him with sultry eyes, pouring the sparkling cider into the glass closest to him. " This took a lot out of me ya know, so please eat it all." He laughed, quickly covering his mouth to hide it as you switched to pouring a drink for yourself. "I will, it all looks really good! You didn't have to conjure all of this up I would've been fine with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." He grabbed his utensils and started to dig in, his eyes widening at the taste of the food. "It's fine, I've been meaning to spoil you a bit more." You shrugged and he hummed, "This is so good! Oh my god it's like, the best lasagna I've ever tasted!" "The best?" "The best!" He swallowed and smiled, leaning over the blanket to place a quick kiss to your lips. You hummed at the feeling before digging into your meal yourself.

You both talked about anything and everything as you ate. The dark sky mixed with the glow of the f/c sparkles that surrounded you both only added to the romantic atmosphere. Reaching over, Peter grabbed one of your hands in his, lacing your fingers together as he stared at you with half lidded eyes. "You sure you didn't slip a love potion into this cider?" You rolled your eyes with a smile, "Peter, if I slipped you a love potion you'd be doing a lot more than just holding my hand right now." You smirked as he blushed a bit, a smile gracing his face as he shrugged. "Guess I just love you then," Your eyes softened at his words. He leaned over, placing a couple of kisses to your lips causing you to smile. "Thanks for the food, this date was amazing." He kissed you again and you hummed.

"Best one yet?"

"Best one yet."

----!----

( Hope I wrote this right! I kinda hate it idkkkk )

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are OPEN so feel free to request anything! Just make sure you check out my Request Info first!

See my DIRECTORY for upcoming fics!

Masterlist

[antagonisticism]

Chapter One: Passing Notes

The morning was quiet. Temperate waves hit against the rocky beach in slow succession. Their meeting point only marked as they receded with slightly darker sand than what blanketed the drier areas of the beach. Cold air whipped and cut into the men in the dark suits as they stood, motionless despite its howling protests. 

Their suits were spotless and uniform. It was only at their shiny black leather loafers where the sand had kicked up around them and the cuffs of their pants that gave any indication they had actually walked to their positions rather than levitating onto the shoreline. Black sunglasses hid their eyes from view. Clear earbuds were in the right ear of each man on duty. They stood spaced out but in a semicircle around the reason they were there. 

One man stood farther inland and extended his hand in welcome to the other that just showed up.

“Glad you could make it on such short notice.” The man gripped the gentleman’s hand firmly. “Detective Esirpras, I presume?”

Detective James Esirpras  shook his hand with the same amount of force as he gave a curt nod. 

“Special Agent Barlowe, thanks for giving me a call.” He turned his head to the direction of the semi-circle. “That’s the body you spoke about?” 

The special agent nodded and they started to make their way down the beach toward the body in question.

“Yes, sir.” He said. “Found it at about o-five hundred by a couple walking their dog. They said it was their dog who alerted them he was even washing up on shore.” 

He squinted his eyes as the morning sun poked through the clouds to shed its light upon them. Still not enough to break off the winter wind’s chill. James crouched down for a further inspection of who laid before him. 

“Damn dog started whining and wouldn’t move from its spot next to him. Had to get a couple guys to pull it away when we got here.”

Waterlogged bodies were always the worst one could afford to handle as a new case. Destroyed evidence and bloating were the first two inconveniences that came to mind. The body here had minimal entry wounds from what the detective could see. 

It was a middle aged man. Salt and pepper hair clipped short. Navy blue polo and khakis. His shoes had either been taken by the assailant or washed away at sea. A gold watch on his wrist flaunted his wealth as it still ticked along even after a nasty ordeal. 

The Detective pulled out gloves from his pant’s front pocket. He put them on with a quick ease of experience. 

Slowly, he pulled back the right side of the corpse’s collar. A jagged open wound where he had bled out was situated between neck and shoulder about an inch deep. The first signature. James trailed his eyes up to the lips. There, they were sewn shut with black thread so tightly the skin had no no give. The second defining signature. He blew out a harsh breath. 

“Wallet had my card?” He asked, already knowing the answer. 

“Yes, sir. Wallet had no ID, credit cards, nothing. Just your laminated business card in one of the slots.”

James stared a little longer at the dead man.

“We usually would work this case ourselves. What, with multiple bodies with the same signature.” The agent began. “But seeing as how this is the work of someone already well acquainted with you. . .”

The detective glanced back at him as he stood. “I appreciate it. I’ve called in the crime scene techs and medical examiner. They’ll be here any minute. Do you and your boys want in on this?”

Special Agent Barlowe shook his head. “We’re already backlogged from the Palinski case. You can take head and just keep me informed of any changes.”

James nodded in agreement as he pulled off his gloves. 

A sharp honk sounded near the entrance of the beach and both men glanced up. A gunmetal gray van had pulled in. Outdated and boxy, with tinted windows discouraging anyone from looking inside. Detective James Esirpras knew that van all too well. 

“Cavalry has arrived.” He said. 

“Alright.” Barlowe looked around at the men who were still standing in their positions, unmoving. “We’ll head out, then. Like I said, keep me updated on any changes. I’ll leave the rest to you.”

He didn’t wait for a response from James. Instead, he lifted his hand and made a sharp motion to move forward. The suits followed the order and the group of them marched off the beach. James nearly rolled his eyes at the action. A jarring sight of what should normally be seen on a beach. He stopped when his eyes landed on the entrance of the beach and the woman they were walking towards. 

Madeline Juliet Sanaz. A short brunette with full lips always curved into a half-smile, as if she always knew something devious. The oversized waterproof muddy green overalls that were state issued for watery crime scenes she was wearing didn’t do her justice, but they did make for an entertaining look. They were clearly one of her coworker’s she had borrowed for the job. James watched as she tied her hair up into a messy bun before she reached into the back of the van to grab a camera and evidence markers. 

His view shifted back to the body when he spotted the Medical Examiner starting to walk his way. An older man with a hunched back and a black leather bag full of tools to obtain and preserve evidence. 

James could have sworn the man was like someone out of one of those Tim Burton films. What, with gray-white hair being tousled to and fro by the wind, deep bags under the man’s eyes, and a tight expression on wrinkled old lips. 

He hobbled through the sandy terrain. It was a slow pace that made James tap his finger against his crossed forearms impatiently.

“Great day for the job, huh?” The detective said jovially as soon as the examiner got to the body. He knew the answer before it came.

An unenthusiastic grunt. 

“He hasn’t gotten his morning cup of coffee.” A low, serene voice commented behind him.

James nearly lept and pulled out his weapon from surprise. He sharply turned to the voice’s owner and swore. Madeline had yet again snuck up on him with the ease of a panther. James had always been hyper-vigilant since childhood, aware of his surroundings at all times. Friends back home would regularly say he was impossible to scare because of it, and it was true. However, Madeline continually seemed to know how to make it impossible for him to spot her presence. 

Ever since her arrival to the department, she snuck up on him in more ways than he would like to admit. 

“You need to get a bell tied around your neck, Mads.” He snapped. 

“Kinky.” She whispered back with the same devilish tone she always took around him. 

He stared.

She winked, walking past him to get to the body and her boss who had crouched down to work on it with his bag of tricks. 

Their usual routine and almost now a ritual of sorts. 

“If you two are finished.” The medical examiner, Dr. Allard, quipped. “I would like to get these photos and evidence bagged quickly. It’s shitty enough he has been in the water as long as he has.”

“At least it’s low tide and we have time to survey the area.” James muttered. The other man glared up at him while Madeline turned her face to hide her expression. “Just trying to be positive, doc.”

“You are trying to “be positive” over the body of a murdered man?” He scoffed. “This is the body of a person, Detective. Maybe show a little respect. Some somber decorum.” 

James muttered something along the lines of “sir, yes, sir” while circling the examiner and body. 

The process was quiet and methodical as more and more crime scene techs swarmed the area. Each either taking notes, or pictures, or placing markers by possible evidence. They all worked as a unit, knowing the ins and outs without having to even look up. Efficiency was their first language as no stone was left unturned without someone documenting it. Seeing as this wasn’t the primary location where the murder occurred, it was quick. 

Before the two hour mark, they had completed all of their collective checklists and gotten a gurney to move the body.

Dr. Allard sharply told James that he would be giving the body a look over after lunch and to be there by dinner to go over any significant or insignificant findings. 

From there, the morning and afternoon went by quickly. Calls on other cases he had been assigned and a meeting with the Captain to debrief on what had happened. He compartmentalized the expectation of what would happen next. This man, this type of case, was nothing new. The victim’s wallet emptied out with nothing but James’ business card. He never knew who the victims were and had to wait for a way to identify them. Again and again, ever since the start of his career as a detective. Each one more hopeless than the last. Never a break in any of the cases like them.

Their files danced around his head in a taunting fashion. 

Never to be solved. 

After briefing the captain, he went to the bathroom to wash his face. The ghosts still hung around him as he pushed past the door to the sink. His right hand reached out to turn on the faucet, but he paused when he saw himself. 

Chocolate brown hair clipped close on the sides and slightly longer to comb back on the top. A strong jaw with stubble clenched in tension of thinking about the past and the present. His eyes met themselves in the mirror. They were the color of coal, dull and exhausted. 

He stared at himself for a minute longer, then turned on the water. 

He was trying to fight the disappointment welling up inside of him. A case like this would be hard on anyone on his team, but especially him. He had graduated from the police academy top of his class with unending praises. Every higher-up he met consistently told him of his bright future ahead of him. They promised the most adventurous journey of his life. 

And then, Julia Harford happened.

She had been a young college girl from out of town. Pretty blonde hair and a bright smile. At least, that was what her drivers license had shown when they finally found her in their system days later. 

Her body had been found in a motel off the interstate. It was laid on the bed ever so carefully with blood from the knife wound in her neck spreading slowly throughout the sheets, staining them crimson. Her lips had been sewn shut and her eyelids closed. She looked like an angel, he had thought. One not allowed to watch or speak of the horrors this life had put her through. 

He had spent months on that case going over video footage and eye witness statements. Interviewed countless friends, possible enemies, and yet no one gave him a single reason why they would kill her. None had the ability to harm a hair on that girl’s head when it really came down to it. 

It nearly broke him. A psychological warfare he had never been familiar with. The unknown killer taunted him with just enough evidence to let him grasp in vain for the right answer that never came.

“How long are you going to stand there sighing and groaning?” Madeline’s voice shot through his wandering thoughts and reeled him back into the present.

He caught her gaze in the mirror. “This is the men’s room.”

She was leaning back on the fully open door with arms nonchalantly crossed and shrugged. 

“You came in here ten minutes ago and Dr. Allard is cursing up a storm. I chose the safer option.”

They stared back at each other for a few minutes longer through the mirror before James sighed, shaking his head. 

He turned off the faucet and walked to the paper towel dispenser by the door. 

“I’m assuming the autopsy is not going well?” He asked, patting his hands dry. 

“There’s something he needs to show you.” She bit her lip, troubled. “I’m sorry in advance.”

James nodded and walked past her to the hallway outside. They walked together in silence. Each step closer to the dreaded show and tell he knew was coming. The final signature this killer did to keep the detective’s attention. One of the only constants in each case he worked involving this mystery monster. 

“He has a note in his mouth, doesn’t he?” James asked, already knowing the answer. 

Madeline was quiet for quite some time. They kept walking. He hit the elevator button and the doors slowly opened. Coworkers, attorneys, and the like all rushed out and skirted past them. They waited as the others walked out before stepping into the elevator. Mad's head was tilted down where James couldn't see her expression as the elevator doors closed and she whispered the dreaded answer.

“Yes.”

[eddieandbird]

Note In His Locker

Summary: Eddie finds a hurtful note from Chrissy and starts to pull away

Submitted by: @borhapgirlforlife19

Warnings/Tags: fluff|short blurb|edissy/hellcheer|jason carver|slight angst|hurt/comfort|cursing

A/N: Thank you so much for the wait on this! I promise there will be a sequel that’s going to get to the NSFW part of your request! -Bird

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Jason asked Patrick.

“Don’t worry, dude. My girl’s dad used to be in the mafia, he knows how to forge anyone’s writing,” Patrick chuckled, nudging Jason.

“Alright, well let’s shove it in the prick’s locker and wait for Chrissy to come crawling back to me,” Jason said with a triumphant smile.

Jason and Patrick snickered while they walked up to Eddie’s locker. Jason messily slipped the note into his locker.

~

The next morning Eddie arrived at his locker. He looked around for his girlfriend Chrissy, but she wasn’t around. He pouted, thinking about how much he loved getting a kiss and hug from her to cut through the boring routine of school. Dustin was beside him ranting about his girlfriend Suzie, but Eddie was hardly paying attention. He mindlessly put his locker combination in and opened the door. A slip of paper flew out, floating a bit in the air before dropping to the floor.

“What’s this?” Dustin asked, picking up the note.

“Probably just some shit-heads trying to fill my locker with garbage again,” Eddie shrugged.

Eddie’s nonchalant attitude fell as he watched his friend read the note. Dustin’s face wasn’t positive in the slightest.

“What does it say, dude?” Eddie asked, putting his hand on his shoulder and getting behind him so he could see the note.

“I am so sorry, Eddie…” Dustin looked up at him, distraught. Eddie forcefully grabbed it and crumpled it inside his jacket pocket.

“This is why she’s not here? This is total bullshit!” Eddie slammed his fist against the locker by his head.

“It’s okay, man… Maybe she’ll change her mind in a couple days,” Dustin pointed and said, sounding hopeful.

“No screw that! I don’t want her to date me out of pity. If that’s what she wants, then that’s fine,” Eddie violently threw his bag over his shoulder and slammed his locker shut. “Hellfire’s cancelled tonight. I gotta go,” He stomped off.

“Eddie! Where are you going?” He heard Dustin calling after him as he forcefully pushed the door to outside.

Eddie ran out to his infamous spot in the woods behind the school. He mumbled curses and insults to himself as he climbed up the table and laid there. He took his arm to shield his eyes from the sun, but that combined with the boiling feelings in his body made him cry. His body bounced with him sobbing and breathing through gritted teeth.

“Chris…” He whispered.

Eddie couldn’t believe what was happening. It had only been 2 months since he finally got the courage to ask out Chrissy. When she said yes, it had felt like all the clouds in Hawkins that were constantly above him had finally cleared. She was his pride and joy. He loved how she made her feel.

~

“Hey Dustin!” Chrissy spotted him in the hallway after first period.

“Uh… Hi?” He looked up and down at her slowly.

“Have you seen Eddie?” She chirped.

“Kinda?” He nervously scratched his neck. “I saw him for a second but…”

“But what? Where did he go?” Her face fell. Dustin gave a sad sigh.

“He saw the note, Chrissy, and I don’t think he’s taking it well, so I don’t recommend going to bother him,” He said with disappointment.

“What note?” Chrissy shook her head in confusion.

“The note where you brutally dumped him instead of telling him to his face,” Dustin's anger rose.

“Dustin, I didn’t dump him. What are you talking about?” She could feel tears building from frustration.

“Yes you did, Chrissy! I read it with my own two eyes,” He spat.

“I swear to god I didn’t write him a note, breaking up with him!” She stomped her foot before running off.

As Chrissy exited the hallway, she carefully wiped her falling tears on the sleeves of her white cheer cardigan. She started to hyperventilate as she scanned the parking lot. A few rows down, she spotted Eddie’s van, but upon a closer inspection, she saw it was empty. She knew Eddie was still at school and she knew exactly where he would be. She quickly made her way past the field to the table in the woods. Eddie was lying there on top of the table, his back away from her.

“Eddie?”

“Go away Chrissy,” He said in monotone.

“Eddie… please don’t do this to me,” She begged, already in tears.

“I said GO AWAY!” He screamed so loud that they could hear flocks of birds flying away in the distance.

“Eddie no… please. Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away?” She dropped to her knees, crushing the fall leaves underneath her.

“Oh I don’t know Chrissy,” He said sarcastically, getting up and sitting on the chair of the table, his back still facing Chrissy. “Maybe it’s because I don’t wanna scare you anymore,”

“What are you talking about? Eddie, that’s stupid, you know I’m not afraid of you!” She exclaimed. Eddie got up quickly, to turn around and slam the letter down on the table.

“‘Our worlds are too different and that scares me’… That’s what you wrote in this stupid fucking letter!” He yelled. Chrissy quickly got up and grabbed the note off the table.

“Eddie, Eddie… I didn’t write this I swear,” She pleaded with him.

“Don’t try to bullshit me now,” He leaned over the table and got in her face. “Own that shit,”

Chrissy desperately looked over the crumpled paper, in search of anything that could prove her innocence.

“Eddie, look I can prove it!” She yelped back, putting the paper down in front of him again. “See, it says ‘all my love’”

“Yeah, so?” He asked with his arms crossed.

“I never sign my letters to you like that,” She said, almost offended. “Look in your binder,”

Eddie quickly pulled his binder out from his bag and grabbed a handful of letters that he’s collected from Chrissy. He skimmed through them to read each ending.

“You say ‘always yours’…” He gasped, then shook his head. “But who would do this?”

“I think you and I both know who did this…” Chrissy bit her lip.

“Carver… That son of a bitch is going to pay for this,” Eddie said through gritted teeth. He picked up his jacket and bag and began making his way back to the school.

“Eddie, where are you going?”

[lofi-bunni]

SMT+!Yuu, From Start to End.

Last one:

(I’m not a writer, I have no experience. I just needed to write about Yuu as a character in this AU. ALSO! Kinda angsty and not completely light hearted so…mind that, though it’s nothing too bad)

Yuu took a starting position at the beginning of the track. Their expression changed quickly from bashfully playful to a serious focus, like water instantly hardening to ice. They looked ahead to the track in front of them, focused only on the unmarked finish line. Their eyes narrowed and scenes of broken buildings emerged from the track field, memories of a rusty red sky and the smell of smoke. The crunch of stone and broken concrete underneath their feet as their mind blared only one thought, RUN.

Deuce had invited the prefect to the track and field club. He had multiple reasons to do so: They were his friend, they’ve proven to be somewhat athletic, and the team was always willing to welcome a friend to help with the monotony when they weren’t running. Maybe,if Yuu proved to be more, than they would invite the club-less student into their ranks.

The students took to Yuu well. Yuu was funny and gave off a warm energy. The same way an adult sibling would act around their younger teenage sibling when coming back for the holidays. Cutting through the banter was a question that caught the attention of both Yuu and the rest of the track team. “By the way Yuu, are you good at running?” Yuu looked over at the student for a second before their eyes slid up to the side in thought. “Hm..I’d say so.” The track team started to tease the prefect for their quick confident answer laughing along with one another. Then another, more baritone voice, once again turned the attention of the team. “Wanna prove that, Prefect?” The voice was Jack’s, with his normal serious tone. Though the raised eyebrows on his face suggested a more joking intent or at least a friendly challenge. Yuu looked shocked for a few moments before a smile crept onto their face. “Why not.”

Lined up on the track was Jack and Yuu. Side by side ready to sprint to the end of the track. 100 meter dash, easy and clear. At the start of the “race” was Deuce looking a mix between nervous and exited. As well as Jackfrost, who had come back to Yuu after having an adventure who knows where. The end held another student, ready to gauge the winner if the end result was a close call. Deuce cleared his throat, held up his hand, and started to count down.

3

Jack had his ears pinned back and an expression of focus on his face. He respected Yuu and believe them to be fairly athletic. But the mix between his species and training would definitely leave Yuu in the dust. He wasn’t going to hold back though, and belived Yuu wouldn’t either.

2

Deuce looked on at the two. He knew Jack was gonna give it his all, it wasn’t like him to hold back against someone he respected. But Yuu was gonna have to give it their all to keep up with the beastman. When his voice hit two he saw the expression of the prefect harden into ice cold stone. The same one he saw when facing the overblotted Riddle, pure intense neutral.

1

As reality and memory shifted in their mind they couldn’t do much but steel themselves and breath through the fog that clouded their brain. The light cheering of the students anchored Yuu to one reality as the sweltering sun above cut through visions of a red clouded sky. Idun had materialized next to Jackfrost somewhere along the way. Yuu felt lighter and safe in her presence. Their breathing calmed, they looked ahead at the track that shifted to burning buildings and back like a mirage in a dessert.

Go!

Then they started to run.

Deuce watched in awe silence as the prefect dashed from the starting line at what seemed like mock speed. Jack’s eyes widened for a split second before turning serious and dashing not far behind. Amazingly, Yuu kept up the speed not slowing down for a second. The students started cheering as the awe wore off and was replaced with adrenaline watching the two race down the track in record time. The student at the end of the track held out his arms with his palms open, a minor look of fear on his face as the two students came closer every second. Deuce started cheering too with the sound of He-Ho accompanying him while a cheerful blonde girl in a red hood started bouncing up and down like a cheerleader yelling in a language he couldn’t understand. But he stopped when the blonde girl had let out a confused noise. He looked over to the girl to see a worried expression on her face. “What? What’s wrong?” Idun looked over at the boy and back to the racing pair closing in on the finish line. “Ummm..ugh. Yuu isn’t- ugh” Deuce looked intently at the nervous girl barley being able to form words and felt a sense of nervousness creep into his spine. He spun his head over to the racers to see them right at the finish line. Yuu had slapped the hand of the student at the end barely a second before Jack as the club members erupted into louder cheers.Both Jack and Yuu were hunched over panting for air. Jack got up a second later and was handed a water while being congratulated. Yuu on the other hand was still hunched over, there was dark look in their eyes. Their gaze looked panicked and not all there. Idun quickly started to float across the field in distress while Jackfrost tried to follow behind with its stubby legs. Deuce started to run across the field as well, picking Jackfrost up along the way as students started to crowd around the prefect in worry as they stay hunched over, breathing heavier and eyes going wider. Jack quickly told the students to move away from Yuu and leaned down with a hand on their back, gently asking if they were ok. Yuu tried to say yes, but it sounded more like a gasp of air. When Idun got to the scene Jack had taken a step back as the girl raced up to the prefect in worry, quickly cupping the prefects face in her hands and whispering to them quietly. Deuce got there not long thereafter with Jackfrost in his arms. It quickly jumped out of them and ran clumsily to Yuu, grabbing their clothes and yanking slightly the same way a child would when trying to gain their moms attention, Jackfrosts cartoonish face contorted in worry and fear.

Idun moved Yuu’s forehead to hers and both closed their eyes. A light glow emitted from the touch and the prefects face had started to calm back into neutrality. Yuu let out a sigh and slowly moved their face away from Idun’s. Yuu stared down at the floor for a second or two, before bending down and grabbing Jackfrost into their arms, squeezing tight. They then looked up at the silent crowd around them. “I’m sorry about that guys, I’m not feeling the best right now. Mind if I get some time to myself?” The students quickly started to nod and walk off, all saying their reassurances on their way out. Deuce and Jack lingered behind though. Gazing at the prefect as they hugged the snowman closer, the creature leaning into the hug as Idun walked over to further lean onto the prefect in reassurance. Yuu smiled at the two before their gaze shifted to their worrying friends. Yuu gave a weak smile to them, then mouthed ‘Don’t worry’. Deuce and Jacks expressions of worry didn’t falter as they rejoined the rest of the team.

Oof… here have a dancing Idun for reassurance. You got this bestie.

[rosie-chaeyoung]

☽ 𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲 [ 𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘁 ] ☽

title ; 3am - red velvet - irene

summary ; It’s late at night and the world was asleep. Well, except for Irene. When she wakes you up in the middle of the night for her personal needs things quickly take a turn.

word count ; 2288

pairing(s) / group ; irene of red velvet

warning(s) ; 18+, mommy kink, use of handcuffs, oral sex ( giving ), fingering, dom!reader, sub!irene

genre ; smut

༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧

Quiet crickets sang a song of slumber as the sun had set in for a soft slumber. It was a peaceful night to say the least. Y/n and her girlfriend, Irene, both lay in bed asleep. The world outside snored quietly as the couple slept peacefully. A cool breeze blew every now and then making Joohyun move closer to her taller girlfriend. The clock ticked by slowly, each minute taking it's time to show. Irene's eyes peeked opened, her long eyelashes batted as she turned looking to her lover.

She was still asleep, but she was gorgeous. Her (h/c) hair fell on her pillow and her breathing was steady. She looked so peaceful. The brunette on the other hand was now in distress. She was now wide awake. Tossing and turning on her back, she was having trouble going back to sleep. The last few memories she had weren’t helping. Small flashes of the wet dream went through her mind, they were much too vivid to let go. “Ah. Wait, go f-faster Y/n" Her breath hitched, this was becoming too much to bare alone.

It felt all too surreal. “Moan my name baby" She turned on her side, slightly gripping the bedsheets underneath her frail form. She had to stop thinking about this. "Y-Y/n.. please.." Irene could feel her face turning a dark shade of red, she was becoming hotter and hotter by the second. "Louder baby" With a breathy sigh she realized she couldn't take it any longer. Either she was going to get out of bed or do something rash. “Ah~! I'm about to cum, Y/n~!" She easily decided the ladder. Irene pushed herself up from the soft mattress, putting both her hands on her lover.

She shook her side to side whispering a soft, "Wake up" each time. This continued for about two more minutes before the (e/c) eyed girl started to grow conscious. She opened her eyes, sitting up to look at her lover. "What? I'm up.." Y/n rubbed her eyes and stretched. She had no clue what time it was, but it was way too late for this. "I, um need your help with something." the idol trailed on. Y/n looked at the clock, '03:24' it read. "What's so important for you to wake me up this late? Are you alright?"

Y/n, now fully awake, gave all of her attention to the brown haired female. She figured it must’ve been important if she got waken up for it. Hopefully nothing along the lines of being hurt. “I'm horny.." Joohyun mumbled. Was she ashamed? Slightly, but it was either tell her or deal with this for the rest of the night alone. Y/n groaned rolling her eyes. "Baby, you woke me up at three in the morning to tell me you're horny?" She sighed out. It was unnecessary, she could’ve easily waited a couple more hours.

Or, she could have fixed the issue herself. Anything would have been better than being woken up this late. Irene furrowed her eyebrows and gently pushed her lover to lay on her back. She climbed over from her part of the bed to Y/n's. Straddling her girlfriend’s waist, she sat on top with an annoyed look on her delicate features. Y/n, in return, put her hands on Joohyun’s small waist looking up at the pouting girl.

"What's wrong now?" She asked aloud. Irene ran her hands across the h/c haired girls toned body, she trailed her finger lightly up and down. "I'm being serious about this... And you won't help me! I’ve helped you whenever you need it!" Her pout seemed to sink in deeper at her statement. Y/n exhaled, this was somewhat her fault. The only time her girlfriend became whiny like was when she was needy. Usually every time she became needy she would take care of her. She was just so tired right now though. So reluctantly, she agreed. "Fine fine. Damn, you're lucky I love you.."

The dominant female changed around their positions so she was on top and Irene lay on her back. "But since you did wake me up, we’ll play by my rules. So tell me just how badly you need me.” She laid her hands on Irene's thighs, pushing her legs more and more apart. She slid her knee in between her lovers aching legs, and let out a stiff laugh when Irene bucked her hips forward. "Seriously Y/n, hurry up! This isn’t fair so stop teasing me!" Irene glared up at the dominant female who still hovered her.

Although Y/n smiled, her eyes quickly darkened once she heard the sentence slip from her lover. Reaching up she pulled her wrists together holding them in one place. Her tone started off condescending as she spoke, and slowly let it trail for a better effect. “Listen babe. You woke me up for this. I could be asleep. But you're horny, so tone it down. Okay?" Irene listened and shrunk back into the bed letting her pout return. "Yes..." She lowered her head leaving only a few inches between the two. "Yes what?" She urged on. Irene's cheeks grew hot again but responded. "Yes mommy."

Now pleased, she leaned down capturing the elder females lips in her own. Irene moaned into the soft kiss letting Y/n slide her tongue deep into her mouth. Turning her head to deepen their struggle for dominance, the pale skinned female happily gave in midway. Y/n leaned over to the side of her bed feeling around for a certain object, their lips still connected. Finding what she wanted, she sat up showing her toy to the submissive girl. This was personally one of her favorites. “What? No! You know I hate being handcuffed!"

Irene told her while looking at the silver play thing. "Exactly. That’s the point of this babe." Y/n leaned downward locking the handcuffs to Irene's wrists. She squirmed already hating the new feeling. Irene never did like these restraints, because when she's in them she can never touch her girlfriend. Leaving scratches on her back was a huge turn on for Irene, so to not be able to do that upset her greatly. She hated this. Y/n chuckled looking at Irene's vulnerable state.

"Don’t make that face. You and I both know this is what happens when you get all bratty." But this seemed like too much talking for her liking. Y/n once more leaned down and let her hands find themselves underneath Joohyun’s shirt. She tugged at it, before pulling it off leaving her in a black lace bra and panties. Fortunately enough, Irene never sleeps in pants. "It seems like you came prepared." She teased. The brunette shook her head disagreeing.

"It just sort of happened..." Y/n shrugged her shoulders while going to unclip and take off the lace bra. She didn't waste any time enveloping her significant other. Putting Irene's sensitive bud in her mouth and twirling the other in her hand, Y/n watched Irene let out soft moans. This was her joy of being in control, the trill that ran through her. The only thing she wanted to her was her name being moaned over and over, and as of now she was getting that. "Y/n, ah, please." She panted out.

Y/n loved the feeling of teasing the brown eyed female, this was pure torture. Trailing light and soft butterfly kisses down her toned body Irene was having trouble with the silver restraints on her wrists. Hating the feeling of being tied down she tugged at the cold cuffs, hoping they would come loose. But they didn't budge. Y/n finally tugged the hem of Irene's matching panties, already feeling how soaked they were.

She smirked, her lover always made teasing easy. She always so sensitive to her touch, just the slightest of moves and she could have her older lover turn into a hot moaning mess. The best example of this would be now. "Aww, did you really need my attention that badly?" Y/n began pulling the black lace material off Irene's slender legs. In return, Irene tugged her legs away. "Wait."

Y/n looked up to Irene's dark and lust filled eyes, she was so stunning. She made a humming like noise telling her to continue. She would never do anything without permission, so if she needed to wait then she would do that. "This isn't fair. You have to take off your clothes too. I can’t be the only one naked here." So that’s what she wanted ? She laughed at her submissive's order. She knew it wasn't fair, but she also knew that teasing was still fun.

So she did take her clothes off, just not as quickly as Irene wanted. She put her hand on her shirt hem pulling it off slowly, doing the same with her shorts. "Y/n! Please, I really need you right now!" Irene had been holding back her pleas, but this was her breaking point. She wasn’t even sure how she held onto them this long truly. Her lower regions were throbbing with anticipation and her body was so hot she could’ve swore she would set the bed on fire.

Her breathing was off, and she couldn't hold in anymore of her waiting. She wasn’t the only one having fun though. As mentioned, this is what really turned on Y/n. Being in charge wasn’t always easy, especially with someone with an attitude like Joohyun’s. Yet, times like this really proved she was where she belonged. "As you wish princess." In one big motion she took off the last bit of clothing clinging to her body. Irene, now feeling self conscious of her own body, closed her legs.

Y/n noticed this and almost immediately spread the brunettes legs. With one hand on her hip and the other on her thigh Y/n didn't waste much time going to work. All it took was a few small licks, a bit of sucking, and she was already a throbbing, moaning mess. Joohyun arched her back multiple times letting Y/n stick her tongue fully into her. Her moans were becoming louder by the second as she began tugging harshly at the handcuffs.

She hated not being able to touch her, it was one of the things that just drove her crazy. "Y/n, o-off. Take these off m-" Her 'sentence' cut itself short as another loud moan followed her words. Her climax was coming fast and it was coming hard at that. No, not yet she couldn’t let it happen yet. She wanted these off of her first, she hadn’t to get them off. She pulled harder at the restraints, at this point she was just trying to run away from the pleasure. It was becoming too overwhelming for her.

Y/n made room with her tongue by adding in two fingers. And once she was adjusted, a third to maximize her pleasure as much as possible. Irene's legs began to shake and she began to squirm in her place. "Ah! Y/n! J-Just move your hand, f-faster!" She wanted to ride out her climax and this was her way of doing it. Just to tease her a little more, Y/n slowed her pace slightly. “What’s the magic word?” Joohyun began to push herself toward her lovers hand as she was able to stutter out the word.

“P-Please..” The one little word was all Y/n needed to continue. She went back to her same actions but this time sped things up significantly. Using her thumb Y/n circled around the elder females most sensitive part making her throw her head back, and soon enough let the knot in her stomach break. Breathing heavily she laid her back on the cool bed. It was the only thing in the room that didn't seem hot.

Y/n didn’t consider herself an impatient person, but at the moment she could definitely see why she may be label that way. She pulled Irene's legs apart again and began to ease her into another climax. Irene was sensitive though, so any sort of stimulation down there would be torture. "S-Stop it..." She whined out weakly. There was little fight put up before her legs began to tremble from pleasure once more. The h/c-ette began all over again to give her girlfriend the satisfaction she deserved.

She started to squirm again and now bite down on her lip. "Fuck!" She let her swear slip from her mouth. Once more she arched her back off the bed letting her moans fall out simultaneously. The knot formed over, and soon broke again. Small sighs of pleasure floated from her as she gripped the sheeting beneath her. She had hit her climax for the second time. Joohyun yelled out in pleasure, moaning the (e/c) eyed girl's name.

She let out one last shaky moan until she let herself cum. She sighed in relief, the pleasure was over. "Good girl, you did so well." Y/n moved the wet, frizzled hair from her pale girlfriend's face. She was a panting, sticky, sweaty mess. And that's how she liked it. She reached up unlocking Irene's handcuffs and throwing them to a random corner of the room. Irene quickly clung to Y/n pulling her back down on the bed with herself. After a moment of breathing in her sweet scent, she flipped their positions.

She now straddled Y/n who laid under her satisfied with the past events. Irene showed off her pearly white smile looking into her lovers eyes.

"Round two?" ~

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[visd3stele]

Remus image - angst & fluff

*mostly angst with a tinsy bit of fluff

*forced marriage trope

summary: you're a Slytherin pure blood dating Remus Lupin, but your family has other plans

TW: none

A/N: any thoughts and opinions are welcomed. I'd love your reviews. Requests are open, too, if any of you are interested in that

masterlist

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

You're staring at the high ceiling, wide awake and way past the middle of the night. In your hands, an envelope is twitching with every move of your fingers, twisting its corners anxiously. You received it at dinner that night, the letter from your family. And wisely waited until the privacy of your room to open it. Around you, pure bloods Slytherins were sound asleep. You made sure not to let any emotion show, on your face or voice. Something everyone in between the walls of the Slytherin residence could most likely do.

You read it once. Then again and again until each word, each letter carved its mark in your brain. Carefully, you folded it back, wrapping it in the thick layer of the envelope. Despite having stopped reading it, the news your family dropped on you kept on repeat in your mind. Over and over and over. Marriage. They found you a perfect, pure blood spouse to marry. No matter that you were still in school. And only sixteen. And already having a boyfriend.

But of course, that last part might be exactly why your blood supremacist family decided to take your love life in their hands at last. For you were dating Remus Lupin, head boy of Griffindor. Involuntarily your lips moved upward at the mere thought of him. The way his soft brown hair feels under your palms when he lays his head in your lap in the afternoon – that is when you convince him to take a break from learning for a change. Your smiled deepened. The way his scarred hands stroke your face right before he leans in to kiss you. You blushed in the dark. The way his eyes sparkle after one of the Marauders notorious pranks. The way he rolls his eyes and leave a snarky comments to any Slytherin who mock your relationship and how it only masks his own fears and self doubts.

Now you were crying. You'll have to break up with him. You'll have to break up with him without bringing the marriage up. You didn't want him to think back on what could have been years after. It's better if he thinks there is no chance anymore to be with you. And you had to do it quick. News spread in the pure blood community and risking lying about your parents intention only to fool yourself a bit longer with stolen happy times was as self destructive as it can get at this point.

You slipped your body on one side. And tossed. The envelope fell off your bed. You didn't bother to pick it up. But someone did. You felt it rather than hear it, someone picking it up and placing it on your nightstand.

" 'Morning," that sweet voice you loved so much whispered. And you snapped your head towards it in shock. Only to find a very uncomfortable Remus Lupin, switching from leg to leg, smiling awkwardly at you.

"It's five in the morning." He stated before you could find your words through the foggy veil of your thoughts. "And the sunrise is about to start..." Remus went on, looking anywhere but at you.

More tears sting your eyes, threatening to slide down your cheeks and getting completely out of your control. Here he was, your perfect boyfriend, sneaking in your bedroom to take you to see the sunrise. For you, this boy defined romance and no amount of scars, secret disappearances on the full moon and mysteries surrounding it could change that. You were more than willing to give him time, let him open up to you when he feels like it. After all, he has great friends to share secrets with and you wouldn't get in between them.

Biting your lips, you closed the distance and hugged him tight. After less than a second of hesitation, Remus put his hands around you as well. You needed it, the proximity, the safety, the warmth and love. When you were sure your voice won't break, you breathed a question to him. "And how are you planning to sneak me out?"

Remus saw right through your attempt. He pulled back a little, enough to brush his fingers over your swollen face. "Have you been crying?" Worry clouded those beautiful brown eyes. You shook your head, snatching yourself from him and desperately wiping your tears. You should do it now. Tell him it's over. Spare him – and yourself – for the pain and torture of stretching it longer. It was time to face it: your relationship was doomed from the start.

But you couldn't. Not yet. Just a little more time, you bargained with yourself. Just that sunrise together. One last date. You promised to no one. So you made yourself swallow and said instead "My family," dismissing any further remarks.

Remus pulled you back into his lean body, long arms the only thing holding you together. He needed no other explanation. Thanks to that friend of his, Sirius, Remus knew exactly what those two words meant coming from a pure blood kid. He pressed a kiss on top of your head, caressing your back in soothing large circles. Voice dipped with concern, he asked "Do you want to talk about it or do you want me to distract you?"

"What about taking me to see that sunrise you mentioned and we'll figure it out from there?"

He nodded, led you to the now slightly opened window and motioned for his broom flying within reach.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

The sun beamed from between rare clouds, spread amongst a royal blue sky. Orange light crowned the ascending golden disc, fading into a soft purple and light pink at its edges. The curtain of morning mist broke the rays in matt bliss, wrapping around your entangled figures.

A wet coldness flew on with the tentative mist, but Remus planned everything ahead, it seemed. He had a wool blanket at ready, different bits and pieces of clothing, threads and patches sewed together.

"Don't tell me you picked up knotting, Moony." You didn't know when it happened, but you had taken on calling him by the silly nickname his friends did.

"No. My mother made it, actually." The scar on his lip pulled up as he patted the spot next to him. He had laid a blanket on the freshly cut grass near the Black Lake and held his mother's gift in a silent invitation.

You snuggled in, circling his waist with your arms and nuzzled your nose in the crook of his neck. "Y/n!" he exclaimed, a shiver running through him at the contact with your cold skin. You sent him a grin that had nothing to do with apologies and you both snickered before turning awe filled eyes to the sunrise.

Remus let his own head lean down on your own, brown hair slightly brushing your forehead. His hand found its way to yours and as your fingers laced together he rubbed his thumb on top of your palm.

Content silence settled in. Only birds dared sing a sharp note once in a while. Your boyfriend knew how to choose a date spot, you were more than happy to give him that. The marvelous sight the sky presented doubled in the lake's still waters. Calmness washed over you. Here and now, with Remus' hand in yours, your head resting on his shoulder, everything pieced into place.

You turned your face, meeting the warn off material of his shirt and placed a kiss there. Lifting your lips upward, you kissed his exposed neck as well. Then his cheek, lingering close to his lips before stopping to murmur "I love you, Remus Lupin! So, so much."

He met your lips with his own and you were thankful he said nothing about the pang in your voice. "And I you, my darling." His glittering eyes, filled with adoration and care, were too much for your heart to bear. It was all you could do to close your eyelids tight and press into his side even more.

"Is something wrong, y/n?" Remus asked, shifting his arm to welcome your new position.

"No. Nothing. Just overwhelmed by everything I feel for you." And in a way, it was true. Not the whole truth, but as you couldn't give him that...

An unsure smiled played on your lips. He brought your face to his again, laying a kiss on your nose. You scrunch it up and made a face at him. He tried to bit back his laugh, but failed as a bundle of it escaped in a soft breath, tingling your flushed cheeks.

Remus kissed you again, this time on the bridge of your nose. Which earned him a giggle and a wide smile. Bringing your hands to his face, you cupped his cheeks and touched your noses together.

"We're missing the sunrise. And you put so much effort in this."

"Hmmm," he mused, leaning in your touch. "The sun does much of the work, to be fair." You burst in laughing at that, shaking your forehead against his.

You two traded more kisses – and then some more, bathed in the dawn light of a new day.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

"Where have you been?" You heard James Potter asked your boyfriend when you bumped in him and the rest of the Marauders in the hall.

Peter waved at you, while Sirius gave you a knowing smirk at which you rolled your eyes. Truth be told, their demand wasn't misplaced. You and Remus didn't show up at breakfast, and run late for the first class.

"Down at the lake, Prongs. I should know better than to ask for notes, right?"

"Not to worry, Moony, you didn't miss much."

You left Remus to his friends, brushing your lips to his as a form of good-bye. You headed to your room. Thoughts swirled in your mind, flying by so fast you barely registered them. You passed Narcissa and Lucius on your way. They have been married since year four, something you found very unsettling. At that time, you belittled Narcissa for not fighting off her families wishes, like her sister and cousin. But now, that you found yourself in her place? You started to understand. To understand that courage is not so easy to haul up from whatever pit it lays dormant in one's being.

So lost in thoughts, you haven't noticed the guy sitting on your bed until he spoke, voice laced with disgust. "You better kick that sorry excuse of a wizard away before we make our engagement public, honey."

You startled. "Who...?"

"Why, your new husband, of course."

"Future husband. And Remus is a fine wizard, greater than you could ever hope to be."

The stranger only rolled his eyes and huffed. "Whatever you say, honey. Just make him gone by noon. I have plans for us before the ceremony."

A ceremony that would take place in a few months, once summer blooms, you realized, dread chilling your blood in your veins. The tight line of your lips followed your betrothed until he left and swiped the door close.

Noon. Break up with Remus by noon. Make it look like it's over because there is no love anymore. Let him think you choose this smug, full of himself, brainless, boorish brute over him. It's the right course of action. So you told yourself. And so you did. Any hope for standing up against your family gone.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Wind howling outside, rain pouring, you thought the weather mocked you. It just happened to turn gloomy and morbid all of a sudden, when you were about to break the heart of the most precious boy in the whole school. And yours too in the progress.

"Remus, can we talk for a second?"

"Sure, what is it?" He turned his whole focus on you, dropping mid conversation with his mates about whatever prank they were up to next.

"Moony!" three offended sighs followed you as you dragged Remus to a more private spot. The way he no more than waved at his friends, giving all up for you, knowing you had a bad day, strung a painful chord in your soul. You did not deserve this boy. Maybe the wedding was a good thing after all.

"Hey, y/n, talk to me," Remus whispered when you came to a halt. His fingers searched for yours, trying to turn you around to face him. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm here for you. We'll fix it."

"No." You said, and cursed your weak voice. You still didn't face him. "No we won't fix this." You spoke again, this time with more surety, allowing a sharp edge to it.

Bless his too kind soul, he didn't balk away. Instead, he took one stop forward, resting his head on your spine and bringing his long arms around you. "Everything's gonna be fine, y/n. I promise."

It took a superhuman effort to break free of his embrace. And you finally swirled to meet his soft brown eyes. Tears rolled down, dripping from your chin, but you didn't let him comfort you. Shacking your head, you took another step back, building distance between you, as if the following words would hurt less that way.

"Everything's not gonna be fine, Remus. Not with us. Not anymore."

For a couple seconds, he stared at you, confusion painting his beautiful features. Then, realization sunk in. And in that moment, you were sure nothing could ever hurt you as badly as his pain struck expression. His parted lips, moving in vain to form words that doesn't exist. His frenzy eyes, looking all over yourself, searching for any sign of a cruel joke. For a trace that you weren't being serious. Eyes that begin to water when he found none.

But he refuse to let the tears flow. Remus led his stare to a dark, far away corner of the empty hall. Heat colored his face, a light shade of pink that not even the cool from the open window couldn't beat down. "So that's why you were distant this morning?" Your boyfriend asked, bitterly even as his voice was small, lost. "That's why you avoided me all day and didn't look me in the eye once, more than a passing moment?"

You knew better than answer. You had nothing to say anyway. "I'm sorry, Remus. I've been meaning to tell you earlier..."

A razor sharp laugh bit your words off. "But you took pity on the poor half-blood."

No, no it wasn't like that, you wanted to say. Those remained only thoughts as you wiped your face and crossed your arms to keep them from reaching out. Reaching out to him, reassure him, hug him. Whatever he believed, you'd roll with it. If he thought you an evil pure blood, then fine! You'll be that.

An image of your mother's face, lips curled in disgust at the last Quidditch match when Slytherin lost again in favor of Gryffindor, served as model for the expression you forced your own face into.

"I didn't want it to be like this. Goodbye, Remus Lupin."

You turned. And left. Just left. You kept your back straight as you walked away from the boy who tickled your heart. Who placed feather light kissed on your cheeks, and nose and forehead for days into your relationship, too shy to initiate something more without your worded agreement. The wizard who helped you with assignments, not thinking anything less of you when you weren't perfect. Who let you fall asleep in his lap at Hogwarts' few parties that you couldn't stand due to your family. This guy who gave you everything you were too afraid to dream of. And you just walked away, as if couldn't be bothered to care.

His fist thrumming once on the hallway's wall filled your ears, a sound forever carved in your brain. The thud that followed, of him sliding down on the floor you guessed, printed an image in your mind you'll pray to forget. Remus' silent sobs, though, almost made you turn around and run towards him.

You didn't so much as cast a glance back, knowing what you'll see and too much of a coward to bear it. His body shaking with crying, knees cradled to up to his chest where his chin digged in, covered by lean arms with palms crossed over his head.

His friends would find him. They'd help him. Remus will move over and forget you. Each sentence was another step. Each step, another crack in your heart. By the time you reached your room, collapsed in your bed and twisted in a similar position to your boyfriend's – ex boyfriend. It made you understand, showed you far too clearly why he'd sit like that. The pure devastation and despair, the attempt to contain a hollowness within, to replace a part where a whole, happy heart used to beat.

You broke Remus Lupin's heart. And yours was just as shattered. And there was no going back from it now.

PART 2

[gothicwidowsworld]

Not your family A.A

Part 1

“I.. I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me?” the Thai Driver asked quietly, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Sighing Y/N rubbed her forehead slightly the hot Austin sun not helping the frequent headaches she’d been having during her second trimester “You're coming back next season Alex, you're going to be really busy.” the y/h/c woman said simply. Scoffing sadly the tall man couldn’t help but frown at the girl's declaration he couldn’t tell if Y/N had meant for it to hurt or whether she was unusually blunt by accident. “You know I always make time for my family.” Alex retaliated utterly heartbroken by the young Horner’s statement. “But I’m not your family.” Y/N mumbled, keeping her eyes glued to the other drivers gathered for the F1 NBA free throw challenge knowing if her y/e/c orbs caught Alex’s she’d crumble. 

“Look, this really isn’t the time or place for this conversation.” Y/N added swiftly bringing her sunglasses down from their perched position on top of  her y/h/c locks. “There’s never going to be a time or place suitable.” Alex replied awkwardly reaching for the girl’s y/s/c wrist in an attempt to stop her from leaving. Clearing his throat the driver ran his dark eyes over the small crowd envying how carefree they all seemed. “It’s not true by the way.” Alex started finally able to catch Y/N’s gaze even though her eyes where hidden by the dark lenses he reveled in the fact he had her undivided attention. “You are my family Y/N/N even if you don’t want to be.”

“God Alex just stop. Stop trying to force this role on me.” Y/N groaned in exasperation pulling her wrist out of the tan man’s faint grasp. “We are just two people connected by an event that meant fuck all.” Running a stressed hand through her soft waves of y/h/c locks the girl couldn’t help but release a shaky breath. “I’m sorry I can’t conform to this version you want. What did you expect to happen? For me to fall at your feet declaring my undying love?” Biting her lip anxiously Y/N cringed at the total word vomit pouring out from her but she couldn’t stop it. “Wake up Alex it was one night.”

“Are you ok Y/N?” Max questioned his friend concerned at her tense stance. The Dutchman had been watching the conversation unfolding between the pair and had become bothered by the y/h girls clearly distressed form, but the normally stern male had hesitated about involving himself. Max had been friends with Y/N since he’d signed his contract with Red Bull and they’d grown up together on the road. They’d survived the painful change from teenhood to young adults together but Max knew the Horner girl liked being independent. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? I can't breathe around you people!” Y/N murmured angrily, pushing Max’s outstretched arms away before storming off. “What did you do Albon?” Max asked, his stormy eyes cold. Raising his hands in defence Alex looked stunned “Why do you assume I did anything?” 

“She was fine before she saw you.” The Red Bull driver retaliated harshly. “Lay off it Verstappen I didn’t do anything.” Alex spat back trying not to rise to the bait, Max was picking for a fight but from experience his bark was a lot worse than his bite. “Sure that’s why she just shouted at me before taking off!” the Dutchman hissed. “Must be pregnancy hormones or something.” Alex stated plainly with a shrug of his shoulders a tight-lipped smile finding its home on his tanned face. “You listen to me and you listen good, got it? I’m not having you be the reason she cuts all contact again so you better fix it” Max retorted heatedly shooting his ex teammate a mocking smile. “You're not her Dad Max.” Alex said directly. Nodding sarcastically Max mulled over the Thai drivers statement. “You’re lucky I’m not Christian. And that you’ve got a seat at Williams next season mean’s we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other on the track.”

Part 2

[avengersassemble-fics]

Stark Legacy

part 01/?? "the only person"

master list

word count 4.3k

an: :3 welcome to a new fic bc idk how to control myself

WARNING: this part does depict alcohol usage, and mentions of other substances a character uses to cope (though nothing is explicitly mentioned).

“An unemployment and housing crisis skyrockets to higher levels as people still struggle to adjust and accommodate the population we had years ago. Streets are littered with people seeking hope-”

“According to world economists, the surge in loan denials is leading to an unprecedented end, leaving the experts scrambling for a way to get the economy back on track, also claiming that the Global Repatriation Council may be asking for too much-”

“Protests break out across Switzerland as support for the group known as the Flag Smashers rises, with the Global Repatriation Council denying any comment on the matter, as well as refusing to comment on the rumours that the newly titled Captain America is investigating the matter-”

“What can we expect from Stark Industries now that Tony Stark is no longer with us? Pepper Potts, while having led the company in a positive direction prior to the Blip, has had no new developments over the last six months. With these newfound challenges the world is facing we’re left to wonder.. Who is going to step up as the ingenious mind behind new innovation? Will the youngest Stark continue on in the steps of father and brother, or are we seeing the end of the Stark Legacy?”

Click.

Silence filled the blue colored cottage that was tucked away at the end of the street in Ransdorp. Though dim and lifeless inside the cottage, outside the sun shined while birds chirped away happily and the sound of children playing echoed through the air. But inside the cottage, all alone, someone stood and tossed a television remote back onto the couch that was once occupied. They shed the blanket that had been wrapped around their shoulders all night while listening to all the different news reports, and entering a small bedroom and dressed in the dark. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and after shuffling through the cottage to grab a few things, the back doors were pushed and locked open, and a breeze blew through the house.

You squinted as you put a sun hat on and oversized sunglasses, overlooking the green oasis you had worked on every day for the last six months. Pushing away the thoughts of what the news had been saying, you stepped down onto the wooden patio that lined the back door and carried a hefty packed bag with you to the garden you had planted. You set the bag down and kneeled into the soft grass, and got to work on picking on fresh vegetables to use for your dinner later. Lucky for you, the soil was perfect here.

So… How have the last six months been for you?

Well the garden was a distraction your neighbor had suggested after finally catching you one day while throwing out a bag full of alcohol bottles you had consumed. You could see her take a second glance over your disheveled appearance, but she ignored it for the most part (which thankfully she did, you were a little sick of people telling you how to feel at the time). Naturally, instead of working through your problems, you distracted yourself from them.

But in all honesty… It’s been hard. Maybe it was selfish of you to think so, but you felt like you had been dealt one of the shittiest hands from the universe. The pressure from the world after… After Tony’s death was suffocating. As more paparazzi followed you around, the worse that anxiety had gotten. With that newfound attention, you had also been summoned by the United States government to attest for your time as a HYDRA agent. Lucky for you, in some way, they dropped any serious charges due to your restraint under the program, but sentenced you to weekly therapy sessions (since SHIELD had denied to disclose your mental capabilities). To your knowledge, Bucky Barnes had been offered a similar deal. The therapy lasted all of a month before you… Negotiated your way out of it, and returned to this safe place.

You drowned yourself in drinks and other activities after leaving New York, which in turn made your black-out episodes reappear, which had become evident as the photographed wall in your second bedroom started to be crossed out fast. You couldn’t help but twitch at the thought, and steered clear of that subject. But as of five months ago, you were all but cut off from all things Avengers.

Everyone had gone their own separate ways for the most part. Wanda was off the radar, Sam had gone and gotten a contract with the Air Force, Clint got his family back, Rhodey was some top notch Air Force guy (you didn’t really know what he was up to nowadays), Thor was gone offworld, Scott was making up for lost time with his family, and Bucky… Well, you didn’t know much about that situation either. Sam had tried to reach out after everything, but in one of your drunken states you threw your phone in the Weersloot river. You didn’t need a reminder of that day, or those few weeks even.

You never played the message Happy had given you from Tony. You never had the courage to do so, and you had it tucked away in your room safe and sound. Honestly? You were starting to think you never would be ready to hear what Tony had to say to you before he died. You just couldn’t bear to hear it, never would… Because if he even mentioned someone’s name you didn’t know how you would react.

When you started to think about Steve, you picked up a drink to take your mind off it. You had yet to come to terms with him leaving, because it still hurt like the day it happened.

Losing Tony was the worst thing that could’ve happened in your eyes. He was your family, though Pepper and Morgan had become your family too, Tony was the last piece of your family you could hold onto. The last shred to the past you fought so hard to remember and cherish, and now him and that part of you was gone. He was your everything. He always would be.

But Steve? Losing Steve wasn’t something you had ever even considered. While Tony was your soul, Steve was your heart. Despite everything you two had been through, the feelings hurt and the years it took to make it back together, Steve always had your heart. He was the man you wanted to fall asleep with and wake up to. He was the man you talked about growing old with, what life would be like if he gave up the Captain America mantle, he was supposed to be your future...

And then he stayed in the past, and left you here confused. Hurt. Alone.

You lost the two people you had left in the world. Your heart and your soul. And it was the most devastating blow you had ever felt… Everyday you wondered how someone comes back from something like that, if it was even possible.

Your thoughts were interrupted when a hefty softball landed in a thud in your garden and smushed one of your little tomatoes. You blinked at the sight before grabbing the ball and looking up to see the familiar short boy next door pulling himself up on the fence that separated your yard from his, and you grabbed a rag from your bag and wiped the softball off.

“Je vernielt in zijn eentje mijn tuin, weet je,” (You’re single-handedly ruining my garden, you know) you said to the boy and looked up at him through your sunglasses.

“Vergeef mij,” (Forgive me) he said and rested his head on his hands to watch you finish wiping his ball off. “Mijn vader wilde niet met mij spelen” (My dad wouldn’t play with me).

You stopped wiping for a moment and could see the sad look in the kids face. You smiled softly and stood, making your way over to the fence and handing him his ball back, though his expression didn’t change.

“Vraag het me de volgende keer dat je wilt spelen, oké?” (Next time you want to play, come ask me, okay?) You told him, and the smile reappeared on his face and he gave you a nod. You ruffled his hair as he jumped back off the fence and played once again. You went back to your bag, now full with vegetables, and picked it up to head back inside. You had a sweet pasta recipe to try tonight, and you think what you selected should work great-

You stopped in your tracks right before the back door. You lowered your sunglasses and lowered your gaze to the ground as you tried to focus on the sound in the air, the shift in the environment. You may have been slightly hungover but the presence was not hard to miss. You straightened your stance and gripped your sunglasses in your fist.

“Sam?” You called out. At first there wasn’t any rustling, but after a few moments you heard your back gate unlock and creak open, and that’s when you could hear the extra set of footsteps. You slowly turned around to face who had finally tracked you down, and were met with Sam Wilson… And Bucky Barnes in tow.

“What are you doing here?” You more so asked Sam. The pair glanced at one another and Bucky nodded his head at his partner in crime (God, you could just tell they were up to something) and Sam shoved his hands into the jacket he had been wearing.

“We came to see you, check in on how you’re doing,” Sam said. You chuckled a bit, and shook your head.

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” you called him out. “What are you really doing here?”

“We need your help,” Bucky said. You bit your tongue and looked them over, maybe just a little curious as to what was going on. Just a little. “We stumbled onto something that I think you may have some information on.”

You hummed to yourself for a moment, thinking it over. Truthfully, the last thing you needed was whatever this was. So you shook your head and shrugged your shoulders. “I’m afraid I can’t help, but thanks for thinking of me.”

You turned your back on them and stepped up a couple steps into your house, and was all but ready to close the door to the world and close yourself off from Sam and Bucky, but Bucky took a step forward.

“There’s more super soldiers out there,” Bucky said in a serious tone. You stopped in your tracks, gripping onto your door for a few moments before looking back out to the pair. Bucky was watching you intently, in a stare you had only seen on him once before (which you didn’t want to recount at the moment). There was movement near the fence, and your eyes darted there to see the neighbor boy peeping his head over to see what was going on. When his gaze met yours, and you gave him “the look” he disappeared just as quickly as he appeared, and you looked back at the pair standing in your yard and against all better judgement, motioned your head behind you. Understanding your cue, Sam led the way inside, and you shut the door quickly behind Bucky.

You moved around the burly super soldier and brushed past Sam to set your bag of veggies in your kitchen. You had to take a moment to compose yourself before facing the duo who had been watching you intently. “Okay.. Go on. What do you mean there’s more super soldiers?”

Sam grabbed something from his pocket, a phone it looked like, and pulled something up before handing you the device. You hesitantly took it and looked down at the phone, where a video began playing of the recent Gasel Bank heist. You watched as someone got beaten to the ground, but what was astonishing was the sheer strength the masked person showed. Captivated, you carried the device into the living room and plopped down into the cushions of your sofa and watched more footage, this time up close from what you could guess were Dumb and Dumber who moved to hover over you.

“We were hoping you might know something,” Sam said. You handed his phone back to him which he graciously accepted, and you tapped your fingers together in thought before looking over at Bucky.

“What makes you think I know anything?” You asked. Bucky seemed to huff in annoyance at your questioning him, in all honesty you just wanted to hear him say it.

“You and I both know what went into the replication of that serum, your program especially,” Bucky said. You felt a lump form at the back of your throat and you casted your eyes downward. “You were still there after me… Did they perfect Stark’s serum?”

You looked back up at his question, and you held his gaze for a moment. You couldn’t believe this was how your day was turning, and you were pissed that he of all people were bringing up your past, like you volunteered for any of that shit.  You lightly bounced your leg as you fought to remember what you had known.

“HYDRA had been unsuccessful in using my father’s formula of the serum again, even after you managed to escape their hold,” you started. You swallowed the lump in the back of your throat and leaned back into the couch, averting your gaze from Bucky to the floor as you searched your memory. “They brought in a scientist, but it wasn’t my op, and it was on a need to know basis. The only reason we knew they started the research again was they started taking people from the Phantom program to test the serum on.”

“Phantom program?” Sam asked.

“That’s what they called us,” you mumbled. “All of us were deemed dead so… It was only fitting.”

“Did the scientist perfect the serum?” Bucky asked. You shrugged your shoulders and met his look again.

“Didn’t think so,” you answered honestly. “So if there’s serum still out there, he has to be your guy. Though I can say I didn’t see any kind of sign of that activity when working with SHIELD.”

“But it’s a start,” Sam nodded and Bucky looked his way. The two started sharing odd glances, and you watched in confusion. Sam suddenly looked your way and motioned around. “Think you could spare some time and do this mission with us?”

“Sam-” Bucky began to say as a warning, but you chuckled a bit which made him stop.

“I don’t do this anymore,” you told them as you motioned between them.

“Come on (Y/N),” Sam tried to reason as you stood up and walked your way back into the kitchen and opened up a cabinet in search of tonight’s bottle of wine to go with dinner. “I get that you’re going through it, I really do, but-”

Just as you managed to select the perfect medium-bodied red wine, Sam had come up beside you and took the bottle out of your hand. “This isn’t going to help you.”

“Yeah Sam and what is?” You asked while crossing your arms. “Because right now the only thing that would help me out is to see my brother again but guess what! It’s not going to fucking happen! It’s just me, here, and all by myself. All by myself…”

Your words trailed off as a heaviness grew in your chest. The atmosphere in the room was a lot more stuffy, and you would rather curl up and disappear then let Sam (and Bucky) see you cry. But here you fucking were, with Sam seeing the tears build up in your eyes and the look he gave you, you wanted to be mad but the only thing that you could seem to feel was just sad. You blinked back the feeling and took a glance back at Bucky, who stood in your living room and averted his gaze. You looked back at Sam, and put on the best front you could.

“You’re welcome to stay for the night, someone can take the bed in my room and someone can take the couch, but tomorrow? We go our separate ways again,” you said in a low tone. Sam’s look at you was… Disappointment. Before the sentiment could settle on your already guilty conscience you turned around and grabbed your keys and a peacoat and stopped at the front door. “Help yourselves to whatever you need.”

With that, you pulled the door open and just as swiftly shut behind you. The cottage walls shook for a moment before settling to a silence inside. Sam looked down at the bottle in his hand and set it back onto the counter before looking Bucky’s way, who still looked annoyed.

“What?” Bucky defensively asked when he noticed Sam’s stare. Sam shook his head at him and pushed the wine bottle to the back of the counter.

“You pushed that too hard,” Sam said, to which Bucky scoffed.

“Me? You’re the one who asked her to join us which, by the way, where did that come from?” Bucky questioned as Sam came back to the living room and sat down on the couch. Sam leaned forward with his arms on his legs and rubbed his hands together.

“Take a look around Robo-cop,” Sam emphasized and Bucky let out an annoyed sigh. “You’re seeing what I’m seeing, right?”

Bucky looked around at your surroundings. He wouldn’t peg it as chaotic, but he also couldn’t pin it as put together. There were personal touches here and there, but it didn’t feel like you belonged here. Bucky wasn’t blind to what was going on here, but he also didn’t see how that pertained to what Sam was suggesting.

“Sam, we came for some information, we got it, so why don’t you tell me what you’re trying to say,” Bucky replied. Sam rolled his eyes and leaned back into the cushions.

“We let her come here, by herself, even knowing how devastated she was after Tony died,” Sam explained. Bucky’s eyes darted to the floor at the memory of him following you out to that shed the day of Tony’s funeral, and the empty expression your eyes held. “Hell, we don’t even know how she felt about Steve. We should’ve been here for this. And that makes us shitty friends.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t say we’re friends-”

“Oh I’m sorry, who's the one that said she owed you a favor?” Sam asked and Bucky shrugged his shoulders.

“I did, but that doesn’t mean-”

“Nah ah,” Sam cut him off and Bucky rolled his eyes. “If you two owe one another favors, then your friends.”

“That’s sound logic, Sam,” Bucky sarcastically said.

You tossed your glass bottle of whatever the hell it was you drank earlier into a trash can on your way back home. You pulled your keys out of your jacket pocket and jingled them around until you found your house key and hipped quietly. Your cottage was just in view and all the lights were out. You grumbled to yourself as you neared, forced to remember what had happened earlier in the day (and boy did you work hard to forget that Sam and bucky were at your lace haha). You stumbled up the two steps to your door and used the wall to steady yourself, before quietly shoving your key into the door and pushed the door open.

It took a second to adjust to the environment, but the whole cottage was pitch black, besides whatever light from the moon managed to filter in. You carefully walked around the couch and glanced down at who occupied it, and when you saw Sam peacefully asleep you then looked at the door to your room and shuddered at the fact Bucky must’ve taken residence in there. You huffed a bit, and pulled a spare blanket out of a basket and moved to the back door. When you finally got outside and shut the door to not disturb your guest you tossed your blanket onto the patio sofa you had and kicked your shoes off.

After shedding yourself of your peacoat and plopping down on the hard cushions, you inwardly cursed the two men inside. You were doing just fine before their arrival, you had a schedule of self loathing and drinking then sleeping that they were interrupting. You just weren’t looking forward to the repercussions of tonight’s sleep. You laid back across the sofa and looked up at the sky, though nothing was there anymore. Or at least there wasn’t anything you could see.

Let’s be honest here. The reason you had turned to drinking was because of the fuzzy feeling you got after awhile. Your mind got to drift to something else besides the memories of your past, like… what to drink next, or in this case, is that a star or an airplane? It made the moment more simple, it made you forget who you were until you woke up again. That didn’t mean you didn’t resent yourself for your actions, but you just added that to the list of reasons why your endgame was the best resolution. You just weren’t ready to tell anyone what that endgame was.

Your gate creaked and you tilted your head to look in that direction. You could barely make out the figure as they neared, Bucky’s face became more clear. You looked back up to the sky and shook your head a bit to yourself. Bucky came to a stop close to you, and sighed a bit.

“You should go inside,” He said quietly.

“You should just leave me alone,” you quipped back to him. Though you couldn’t see it, Bucky rolled his eyes at your drunken response. You suddenly felt a lot more sober, and you turned your head to face him. “You had no right, you know.”

“What are you talking about?” Bucky asked and you huffed.

“You had no right to bring up the Phantom program. I didn’t tell anyone about that, not even Tony,” you admitted to him. Bucky bit his tongue and looked up at the sky for a moment to collect himself. “I didn’t want anyone to go digging into the extent of that.”

“I didn’t know,” Bucky admitted. You blinked at him as he caught your gaze again. “Look… I’m sorry.”

You fell silent before letting out a small sigh and adjusting yourself to be a little more comfortable, your head finally starting to feel dizzy again. But Bucky wasn’t ready to settle this, he shifted his weight and turned to face you.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” Bucky asked. Your eyes fluttered back open and you looked over at him. He had taken a step closer, and hovered over you, and you raised a brow.

“What are you talking about?” You asked him this time.

“The drinking,” Bucky pointed out. You huffed and turned your head in the opposite direction into the cushions, and Bucky rolled his eyes. “It’s not going to help you know.”

“Yeah and how would you know?” You asked and looked back at him. Bucky leaned down to get in your face, and you tried to move back from him.

“Because I’m probably the only person who really knows what’s going on in your head.”

You bit your tongue, and Bucky backed off. In a bit of a daze, you plopped back down onto the cushions and pulled the blanket you brought out up to your chin. Bucky rolled his eyes at you shutting him down, and he moved to the door to go inside. The sooner the morning came and Sam and he could leave, the better for him.

“I never blamed you, you know,” you said in a light voice. Bucky stopped in his tracks and looked over at you. Your eyes were closed, and you were breathing evenly. Bucky retracted his hand from the door knob and took a couple steps closer. He needed to hear that again.

“What did you say?” He asked. You stirred a bit, but didn’t answer him. Carefully, Bucky used his gloved hand to touch your shoulder, and give you a small shake. When you still didn’t say anything, Bucky sighed and looked between the door and you and cursed in his head.

Bucky carefully slid an arm under your shoulders, and then hooked his other under your legs. He hoisted you up into his arms and into his chest, and your head rolled into his arm. Bucky shook his head at it and carefully brought you back inside, and past the couch, and pushed your room door open with his foot. Bucky sat himself on the edge of your bed and balanced you in his lap with one arm, and pulled your blankets open with a free hand. When he finally got you into your own bed, he took the blanket you had outside from you and tossed it onto his shoulder, and pulled the blankets on the bed onto you. Bucky stood from your bed, and before leaving the room he took a final glance at you as you stirred just slightly.

Bucky closed your door, and walked back towards the couch and settled himself onto the floor. As his back met the floor, he couldn’t help but wonder if you meant what you said, about not blaming him for what happened. One thing he did know was he meant what he said. Bucky stared at the door to the second room in the house, and he shook his head.

If there was one person he truly wanted to make amends with, it was you. After all, you were on his list of names.

- - - - - - - - - -

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[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART FIVE

:Masterlist:

Warnings: Swearing and angst, baby!

A/N: I just realized that the tags on Part Four got messed up so i'm sorry for everyone that didn't get tagged! <3

---

June 1994

“I can do this.”

You mumbled to yourself as you paced in the sand, rubbing your sweaty palms against the leg of your jeans.

From your spot ‘backstage’ area, you could see the crowd as they waited for the next band, and it was huge. Huge enough to where any other day, you would’ve been buzzing with excitement, unable to sit still until you got behind your microphone. You would’ve been nauseous for a whole different reason.

But today was different.

Today you were singing a new song that you had spent weeks writing. The boys helped with the melody here and there, but it was the first whole song you had written in years, and at the end of it was the highest note you’ve ever hit.

And you had gotten through it perfectly every time you practiced it and you knew there was no way for you to be prepared, but there was still a nagging voice in the back of your head that you couldn’t shake.

“Hey.” Alex appeared at your side with a sympathetic smile on his face, instantly recognizing your pacing as a cry for help; considering it was a habit he picked up from you. “You need anything? Water? Aspirin?”

“A puppy?” Reggie chimed in.

“To punch Luke?” Bobby asked. 

“Dude!” Luke protested, shoving Bobby’s arm before stepping in front of you and resting his hands on your shoulders, his thumbs tracing slow circles on your collarbones in a way that was supposed to be soothing but only added to the mosh pit in your stomach. “(Y/n), you know this song inside and out. I’ve seen you kill it dozens of times with my own eyes.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but Luke cut you off with an insistent look and a shake of his head. “No. No more doubting yourself, okay?”

“You kids are up next.” A gruff voice announced from backstage, and you took a deep breath as you nodded, looking up at Luke with a weak smile.

“You’ll be there to take over if I hurl everywhere, right?” You joked.

“You’re not gonna hurl.” Luke laughed, dropping his hands from your shoulders and wrapping one around your wrist. “But, of course I will. Now, ‘c’mon!”

He started walking towards the stage, dragging you with him. When you passed Alex’s drum set, his eyes drifted down to Luke’s grip on your wrist and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You barely had time to flip him off before you arrived at Luke’s microphone. 

He smiled as he dropped his hand to tug his guitar strap over his head. “I’m serious. You got this.”

“Thanks, Luke.” You mouthed to him as you walked to the center of the stage, positioning yourself behind your mic.

“How are we doing tonight?” The announcer asked over the speakers and the crowd cheered. “Hey everybody! Welcome to our annual ‘Sunshine Showcase’ where we hit you with the hottest new music in L.A. Everybody give it up for our next band: ‘Sunset Curve’!”

The bright lights at the edge of the stage switched from a dim white to bright red and yellow, casting a faint orange glow across the stage, mixing with the color of the disappearing sun. Alex started a steady rhythm, catching the crowd’s attention. Luke and Bobby joined in, then Reggie.

Then it was time for you to sing. 

Your voice started out a little shaky as you sang the first few lines, but it slowly got steadier as you approached the chorus and by the second verse, you got completely lost in the music, bouncing and bobbing your head.

As the second chorus came around, you felt yourself getting nervous again. So you whipped around and met Alex’s eyes. He smiled reassuringly and twirled his drumsticks around his fingers. Then faster than you could blink, Reggie was at your side, giving you his signature goofy smile as he played along.

You threw your arm over his shoulder and bump him with your hip, sending him back to his spot and making a few people in the front row laugh. 

Then Alex’s drumming quieted as the bridge came up. You willed yourself not to throw up as you pull your microphone off its stand and crouched down to sing to the crowd. 

1...

You kept your voice as steady as you could, giving them your best confident smile as you slowly picked yourself back up.

2...

The music got louder as it neared the end of the bridge and you took a deep breath to prepare for the high note, but it disappeared from your lungs when you realized that Luke had started walking towards you.

3...

Just as he stopped in front of you, the buildup stopped and you could feel everyone’s eyes on you as you closed yours and poured all your energy into the music.

You hit the note perfectly, even surprising yourself a little when you held it longer than you ever had in practice. The crowd erupted in cheers after the note ended, but you kept your eyes closed as you soaked up the moment.

When you finally opened them again, Luke was right next to you, an amazed look on his face. Suddenly, you were grateful for the bright lights covering your face because you were definitely blushing.

The backup for the chorus started up again, but everyone else stopped singing, leaving it up to you and Luke. You held your microphone out so you could both be heard over the cheering. Usually, you all tried to interact with the crowd as much as possible, especially Luke. But his eyes never left yours, not even to look down as he played.

They were so bright and filled with so much intensity that it was hard not to get caught up in moments like this. It wasn’t unusual for you and Luke to sing together and pretend to flirt. The crowd always ate it up and it was pretty fun in the moment. But it always crushed you when the music stopped and you were reminded that it was all for show.

The last note rang out and you let out something between a shaky breath and a relieved laugh. While the boys grabbed their instruments, you walked through the backstage curtain and jumped onto the ground, the adrenaline still racing through you.

“That was awesome!” Reggie said enthusiastically as he tackled you in a hug.

“Yeah, you killed it, (Y/n)!” Alex raised his hand to give you a high five, but his eyes were focused on something behind you. You turned to see what he was looking at, but all you saw was a blur of shaggy brown hair and a grin before a pair of hands lifted you into the air.

“You did it, Squeaks!” Luke cheered as he spun you around, making your head spin. “I told you that you weren’t gonna hurl.”

“I still might if you don’t put me down!” You managed to say through a fit of laughter, holding on to his shoulders to secure yourself as he gently set you down.

You had expected him to pull away once you were back on the ground, but his hands stayed firmly on your waist and he tilted his head forward slightly so his forehead rested against yours.

The world around you slowed down, and you had to put effort into catching your breath again.

“Get a room, guys.” Bobby called as he put his guitar back in it’s case, making Alex and Reggie laugh. You chuckled awkwardly as you pulled away, glaring at Bobby. Luke just smirked and leaned over to stick his finger in Bobby’s ear. “Gross! Dude, stop doing that.”

“Well, I’m starving.” Alex said suddenly, sending you a quick look over his shoulder and you knew he was trying to give you some time to freak out in peace. “Anyone want some pizza?”

The boys all nodded in agreement and started walking towards the parking lot towards Bobby’s car with their instruments in hand, but your feet stayed frozen in place. Your heart was racing as you stared down at the sand between your feet, one question filling up every corner of your mind.

Was it possible that Luke liked you back?

-

2020

If there was one thing you’ve learned from being a ghost: it’s that everything is unpredictable.

You had just started to accept that this was your ‘life’. That you would never tour the world, and perform in front of a crowd ever again. But then you sang with Julie in that gym, and everything in your world changed.

Again.

Your mind was overloaded with questions. Why can people see us now? And why do we only show up while playing with Julie? Why is the afterlife so confusing?

And one more question, that was less serious but equally as important.

Does Luke like Julie?

It had been plaguing you since last night, when Luke had disappeared into the Molina house and didn’t come out for an hour. He had taken his songbook with him, which you didn’t think anything of at the time. But now you know that he gave her ‘Bright’, one of the first songs you and Luke had ever written together.

And then again today, when she sang, Luke looked just as excited as he was when the two of you wrote it. You scolded yourself for thinking about this now when there were bigger things happening. But you couldn’t help but feel like the universe was hanging a giant sign in your face telling you to give up on Luke.

Across the room, Alex started pacing and you shook those thoughts from your head. You knew that if you were freaking out, then Alex was probably on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“I think he’s practicing his model strut.” Reggie whispered.

“He’s so nervous that it's making me nervous.” Luke agreed.

“Al?” You asked softly. “Are you okay?”

Alex sighed. “Okay. You guys know I don’t handle change well. Death? That was a change. Okay, then we became ghosts. Another change. And now we can be seen whenever we play with Julie. Big freaking change!”

“Yeah, but it was a good change.” Luke said. “With Julie, we can play on stage again and be the band we never got to be.”

Luke’s words felt like a punch to the stomach. Sure, maybe you guys never got famous when you were alive, but you were still a band. You still poured all your time, energy and ability into every song you made together. You knew that Luke was just excited and not thinking about his words. But it felt like another sign hitting you in the face.

“I just-” Alex let out a defeated sigh. “I just want to know why.”

“Forget why.” Luke shot up from the couch. “I think we should ask Julie to join Sunset Curve.”

“Yeah!” Reggie agreed. “I mean, with a new lead singer, this band would be legendary.”

And there was another punch.

“Dude.” You said, trying not to show how much that comment stung. You loved Reggie like a brother but sometimes you wished he thought things through a little more before he spoke.

“Hey! We’re the lead singers.” Luke crossed his arms petulantly.

Reggie raised his hands in surrender. “I’m just saying. She can make us visible! Without her, we’d just be like elevator music.”

Luke pouted. “Well, you don’t gotta be so mean about it.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Alex starting to pace again.

“Al.” You said, walking up to him and stopping him in his tracks. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” Alex pushed his hair out of his face. his breathing was a little heavy. “I just…”

There was a moment of careful silence, like everyone was holding their breath, too scared of saying the wrong thing. You all knew how bad Alex’s anxiety could be, and while this wasn’t the most freaked out you had ever seen him, it was getting close.

“Hey,” You intertwined Alex’s arm in yours. “Let’s go for a walk, yeah? Clear our heads?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

You sent one last look over your shoulder to Reggie and Luke before you closed your eyes and concentrated on one of your favorite spots in the city. It was one of the first places you went to on your first night back.

Back in the 90's, it was one of your go-to spots when you just needed a place to breathe and sort through your thoughts.

The Walk of Fame.

The noise of the street filled your ears and opened your eyes, finding yourself in the middle of the sidewalk. Alex was right beside you, staring down at all the stars.

"Here? Really?"

You rolled your eyes. "Duh. It's where you and I had our first heart to heart, remember?"

Alex smiled as the memory played through your heads. It was a week after he came out to his parents and the tension in his house had slowly been building up until it was too much for him to handle. So you dragged him here.

"And I think it's time we had another one." You nudged him. "So, come on."

As the two of you walked through the streets of Hollywood arm in arm, it was like an invisible dam burst open and all the questions came pouring out.

After an hour, your head felt like it was going to explode if you kept thinking about all the crazy things that had happened since you got back. But there was still one question you needed to ask.

"Hey, Al?" You asked, making Alex hum in response. "Do you think that Luke likes Julie?"

"Yeah, I mean, I thought he was going to propose when he realized she can make us visible.” Alex said, his face dropping when he felt your arm tense in his. “No! Not like that. Shit, sorry. I-”

“It’s okay, Alex.” You said. You could see him cringing out of the corner of your eye and you knew he was probably beating himself up. “Maybe it’s a good thing, you know? Maybe it’ll be the push I need to finally move on.”

“But you can’t move on until you know how he feels.” Alex stopped abruptly, making you stop too.

“I think he’s been pretty clear."

“Has he?” Alex asked. “In case I missed it, you and Luke haven’t been talking much lately.”

You started to argue but then suddenly, a guy on a skateboard came barreling around the corner and ran right into Alex, making his arm fall out of yours as they both went crashing to the ground.

Alex slowly got back on his feet, groaning painfully. The other guy followed, sighing as he inspected his skateboard.

“Aw, man. You dinged my board.”

“I dinged your board? You almost ran me over! You’re lucky I didn’t-” The realization flashed in his eyes. “You ran me over.”

The skater looked just as confused as both of you when you asked, “You’re a ghost?”

“Yeah.” He took off his helmet, showing off his long hair. “Ever since I learned that skating in traffic was bad.”

Alex took in a sharp breath next to you and you smiled, knowing from the way his jaw dropped and he tripped over his words when the other guy tried to apologize that he was having a ‘gay panic’ moment.

“You guys are new to this whole ghost thing, huh?”

Alex was still a blushing mess but he seemed to find his voice. “Is it that obvious?”

“Totally.” The skater extended his hand out to Alex. “I’m Willie.”

“Alex.”

You introduced yourself quickly, then turned to Alex with a grin. Of course, you wanted to keep hanging with Alex, but it was time to be a good wing-woman. “Hey, I think I’m gonna go back to Cece’s for a while, but you should stay and get some information.”

Alex blushed again, clearly picking up on your intentions but he nodded.

“It was nice meeting you, Willie.” You said, waving goodbye but not before you raised your eyebrows at Alex to let him know that you were definitely going to be grilling him about his afternoon later.

 -

Just like every other time you walked into the diner, you were hit with a wave of painful nostalgia.

On a day like this, you would’ve walked right through the kitchen door and straight into Cece’s arms, rambling on while she made you her special hot chocolate and talked it all out with you until it made sense.

But now, you’re stuck trying to figure everything out alone.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite waitress.” Teddy called out from behind the counter, dog-earing his book and setting it aside to give you his full attention.

“Dude, we just met.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Isn’t it a little too early for shameless flirting?”

Teddy scoffed playfully. “It’s never too early for shameless flirting.”

You weren’t super inexperienced when it came to flirting, but it felt like you were in this moment. Sure, you and Luke flirted on stage all the time, but it wasn’t real. At least not for him. But you had gotten so used to it that someone being open about their feelings with you short-circuited your brain a little.

“So.” You said, looking down at this book on the counter. “The Great Gatsby?”

Teddy laughed. “Yeah, it’s kinda on my bucket list.”

“But you’re already dead.”

“Touché, Gorgeous.”

You sat there, talking about your lives, and deaths. Reluctantly, you told him that you died from a hotdog, which led to him declaring it to be the funniest death in history. The more you talked to Teddy, the better you felt. And before you knew it, it had been hours.

By the time you finally decided to leave, there was still a gaping, Luke-shaped hole in your heart. But you decided that maybe it was time to listen to the signs the universe- that Luke- was giving you and try to move on with your life.

Even if it meant letting go of your best friend.

-

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull​ @wanniiieeee​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @nieauou​ @merceret​ @itismeasmolpotato @lilostif16 @dangerouslyclose @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @givemebooksorgivemedeath​ @sunsetcurvedotmp3​ @askgeoff​

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13​

(The strikethough means I can’t tag you)

Let me know if you want to be added!

[shotofire]

A Life Saver

•LEVI ACKERMAN x READER

•Overview: Levi saves you, someone he barely knew, from certain death

•Warnings: mentions of death, gore description, cursing, near death experience, bit of angst, very brief mention of sex

•Season: season one range with a few altercations

-

At first, you didn’t want to become a scout. The thought of putting your life on the line wasn’t appealing, and it really just scared the hell out of you. Serving in the military police was a path you chose to go down. It was what you wanted for awhile then things started to not feel right.

The scouts were putting other lives before their own and you began to admire their bravery. Even when things looked like there was no light on the other side they pushed through. They proved that even mass death can result in a small victory that gave the people hope, something to help the nation push forward.

After serving in the military police for many years you decided it was time to step down. You wanted to become a scout, you wanted to help make a change. Your comrades thought you were absolutely insane, and they begged you to not make the choice. You refused, and soon you joined the scouts.

Mission after mission you survived and killed titans. You lost friends way too often, and the hurt and loneliness that came with the job would make anyone break. You’d been broken from the inside out in ways you’d never imagined. At the end of the day, you knew it was for the greater good.

The hope for a change only became greater when a boy showed up with the abilities of a titan. You knew to have such strength on your side was promising, and you saw light at the end of the extremely dark tunnel.

You’d served many long heart wrenching years by the time hope like that had shown up, and it only pushed you to keep going. You longed to live in a world without titans. All you wanted was to run free in field and see new things.

Today was a normal day, but that’s how any bad day starts. You’d woke up early to watch the sunrise with your close, and pretty much last friend, Molly. She was the best person you’d ever met and had been by your side for years. You had never admired anyone more than her.

“You know that titan kid is only fifteen, isn’t that insane?” She says before taking a sip of the coffee you had made her.

Your eyebrows raise at her words, “Wait really?”

The women laughs a bit at your shocked reaction then nods her head. She sets her coffee on the blanket you two are sitting on then leans back onto her hands, staring up at the sky that swirls with colors of orange and pink.

“To have this kind of hope is the best feeling i’ve had in years,” she says, “this is going to unlock so many closed doors we don’t know about. I think that finally we’re going to get some answers about how the hell the world turned into this mess.”

The smile on her face was full of such joy. She truly was excited for the future, you’d never seen someone actually look forward to what is lying ahead. A few days ago everyone thought titans would rein for hundreds of more years. Then all of the sudden that perspective has changed and no one knows what is going to come next.

“Yeah, I hope the future is bright,” you whispered.

You lay down to stare up at the sky, and Molly follows your movements. The two of you lay there in silence, thinking of a peaceful world where so much fear and death does not exist. You turn your head to look at your bestfriend to find her eyes are already on you.

“Our futures are bright, (y/n),” she says with a smile, “We’re going to live in cute little houses by the ocean!”

You can’t help but smile and roll your eyes at her. She always brought up this big body of water she’d read about in an illegal book when she was a teenager. The women could go on an on about it, as if she’d seen it before herself.

“If the ocean is even real,” you say with a smirk.

She scoffs at you before rolling her eyes harder than you just had, “Of course it’s real!”

You two spend the next hour talking about what you’d do or who you’d be doing if life were different. Molly wished for a family, to fall in love. She’d talked about it many times before but she refused to bring children into a world like this. You felt similar, expect children weren’t really on your radar. You longed to fall in love and grow old with someone.

But everyday brought death and destruction. You didn’t want to fall madly in love and then watch your whole world crumble as a titan took them away from you. The pain you had from your friends screaming your name as monsters had them in their grip was already too much to bare.

Heavy footsteps came in your direction at high speed, and soon you could hear heavy breathing along with it. You and Molly sat up quickly and saw one of your comrades running at you with pure fear in their eyes.

“Wall rose has been compromised!” They scream, voice laced with panic.

Molly’s eyes widen right as yours do. The feeling of uncertainty course through your veins almost instantly. You’ll never get used to the way your stomach drops when you hear things like that. Who could ever get used to that? Knowing you’re about to watch more people die would make anyone feel this way.

Before you know it you’re running to get your uniform on and strap on your gear. No one saw this coming. Then again, how the hell would they see this coming? You scramble to find you gear and you panic as it’s no where to be found.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You yell as the panic begins to set in.

Hands grab each of your shoulders to hold you still, and that’s when you see Molly’s worried eyes. She looks at you with concern. The last mission had both of you on edge more than ever before. Both of you lost someone dear, someone who was close to you as you were to each other. Knowing that today you could lose Molly was making your mind and body think like a mad man.

“You gear is with my stuff, remember? You didn’t want to lose it so you asked me to hold onto it,” she reminds you.

The sweet women pulls you into a tight hug, and you can feel her body trembling. The two of you had no time for this, people were probably already being slaughtered. Right as you begin to think this a scream rips through the air, one that makes you two grip one another tighter.

“We’re going to fight and we’re going to survive,” she says sternly, “do you hear me? Don’t you dare die on me (y/n).”

You nod into her chest as tears begin to form in your eyes. So much could change in an instant and you wished time could freeze so you could hug your bestfriend forever. But reality was sinking in and you knew you had titans to kill and lives to save.

The hug was short lived, and soon you were faced with the destruction held within wall rose. Titans stomped around mindlessly, some with those creepy smiles that you absolutely hated.

Your blades cut through nape after nape and your head was starting to spin. Somewhere along the way you lost Molly, which had never happened before. You hated not having her around. The constant fear of not knowing what position she could possibly be in made you sick to your stomach.

You flew through the air at a high speed, trying to get leverage on the abnormal that was chasing after you. It’s mouth hung open as it’s disgusting blood drenched touched dripped into the buildings below. You’d never faced an abnormal and didn’t expect it to dodge your attack minutes ago.

Sure you were extremely skilled but it’s hard to work your way around a fast moving titan. It’s arms flew in the air behind it, the beast was an odd sight. You’d never witnessed a titan act so strangely before.

You’d been observing the monster too closely, but only for a few seconds. But as any soldier knows, a few moments can cost you your entire life. You turned your attention back infront of you but you didn’t have time to react before you slammed into a chimney. Out of all things that could’ve contributed to your death it just had to be a damn chimney.

The impact made your vision blur and you couldn’t even really feel the pain. The sun beamed down on you as your body layed limp on the rooftop. The sky was a beautiful shade of blue, and you wished you could fly up there with the birds and be free.

The abnormals hand picked you off the home as if you were nothing, only a small ant compared to it. It’s eyes were completely lifeless as it stared at you with hunger.

“Don’t you dare die on me (y/n)!”

Molly’s words rang through your mind but you couldn’t move. The injury to your head made you feel as if you were in a dream. There was no sense of reality right now, you couldn’t even comprehend that you were about to reach your end.

In a way you knew, reality wasn’t too far off. But you couldn’t find the energy to fight back. It had all been drained from you as the battle continued, and the final blow left you motionless.

You closed your eyes hoping somehow that’d stop you from feeling the coming pain. Every part of you didn’t want to die. Molly’s dreams about living by the ocean had become yours as well even if you wouldn’t admit it. The thought of leaving her with no body brought tears to your eyes.

That’s when you tried to move with the little energy left in your body, but it was no use. The tears began to stream down your face and the fear began to set in. Fear like this had never been within you, it was a brand new feeling. You guess certain death does that to you.

“No!” You say as loud as you can, “Someone please help me!”

Knowing this is what so many of the people you loved had to experience broke your heart. It was already bad enough to know they were gone and you couldn’t have saved them. But this was so much worse, they died with such fear. Fear that almost paralyzed you.

The sound of blades ripping through skin filled your ears. The titans grip on you loosened, then let go completely. You felt yourself falling, but you kept your eyes closed. Fear had already made its way to every inch of your body and you couldn’t move even more than before.

Right before you slammed to the ground below strong arms caught you. A grunt slipped past the unknown persons lips at the impact of your body. They carried you into a near by tavern that was deserted of people, then set you on one of the tables.

“Hey,” the deep voice said, “c’mon now I know you aren’t dead, don’t go out like this.”

Your eyes fluttered open to see the dangerously handsome man in your face. He was awfully close, you could feel his breath on your nose. His eyes were wide with concern.

“Captain Levi?” You asked followed by a gut wrenching cough. Blood splattered onto your lips and you groaned.

He couldn’t have been the one who saved you, right? You’d only talked to Levi a handful of times, and all were him giving you orders. You’d never had a desire to talk to him even if you found him incredibly attractive.

You’d admired the man for years as well. He has lost as many people as you, maybe more. He had already been on the scouts for many years before you joined. The man had watched the passion you held as you killed titans at alarming speed. He knew exactly who you were and what you had to offer, that’s why he saved you.

He smiled softly at you, not even enough for you to notice. For a second he thought you wouldn’t wake up and he’d be carrying a lifeless body back to medical. You cough a bit more before sitting up. A gasp slips past your lips and pain shoots through your body.

“Holy shit that fucking hurts,” you curse.

You see the fresh blood on your hands and wonder if it’s yours. The pounding in your head only increases as you move. The room felt like it was spinning and you may vomit any second.

“Do I need to take you to medical?” He asks with concern in his voice.

Your vision looks at the raven haired man and your memory starts to come back. One second you were flying through the air and then stupidly slammed into a chimney. And that damned titan was about to feast on you, what a bitch. Then you realized Levi was the one who stopped you from your near death.

“Why did you save me?” You ask without answering him first.

He sighs at your question. He had only moved that fast to save someone a handful of times. It just felt right to save you. He was there, you were there, he couldn’t just let you die. It wasn’t too far out of reach, he had already been headed in your direction.

“Because you’re strong and the scouts need you,” he answers, “now tell me if I need to take you to medical.”

His features were stern and it made your stomach flip a bit. If there weren’t titans outside and pain wasn’t consuming your body you may have thrown out a stupid flirtatious remark due to your bubbly personality. But this wasn’t the time and place no matter how good the captain looked right now.

“I just need a minute,” you said softly as you pushed your weight off the table.

You hissed in pain before stretching your body. The bones in your body crack loudly and you let out a low grunt at the feeling. The pounding in your head began to simmer and you took deep breaths.

“Thank you captain Levi,” you said, “my friend would’ve personally brought me back to just kill me herself.”

He chuckled a bit at your remark and you couldn’t even recall captain Levi smiling let alone chuckling. This whole situation was weird and unrealistic to you. Maybe you were already dead and this was your afterlife. A hot guy saves you and later you two will go to bone town, sounds pretty fun.

“I literally ran into a chimney,” you grumbled.

Levi’s eyes squinted at your words in confusion, “You what?”

“I didn’t get caught by a titan while trying to kill it heroically. I wasn’t paying attention for like three seconds and slammed into a damn chimney, not too sure the scouts really need me,” you say.

He shakes his head at your words and was becoming annoyed by your self doubt.

“I know, I saw,” he says and your cheek almost immediately turn red, “and I still saved you cause I thought you were worth it.”

You couldn’t get words out after what he said. You only stared at him in shock. He saw you make a foul out of yourself but yet still risked his life to save you. Levi truly was an interesting man.

“Well then, thank you again,” you say, “maybe I should thank you in a different way.” You wiggle your eyebrows then let out a laugh into your palm as his face falls at your words.

“Holy shit i’m kidding, please don’t make me do laps for that. Jokes make me feel better,” you still were holding back laughter at the face Levi made. You never thought you’d make the captain flustered like that.

“Uh,” his cheeks redden, “We need to get back out there. It’s starting to get worse, are you sure you’re okay (y/n).”

You take a deep breath before nodding your head. The two of you immediately begin to speed walk towards the open door of the tavern.

“I’m going to need you to follow me. The titans are huddled in the west and help is needed there,” he orders you and you respond with a yes captain, which always makes you cringe.

“Oh and by the way,” he says with a smirk, “that other way of thanking me is always welcome.”

This time he leaves you flustered. He heads west and you stand there for a few seconds before you remember you’re supposed to be following him. His remark might have you slamming into another chimney.

After fighting for hours many people had been successfully moved to wall sina. Some titans still mindlessly walked around within the walls of rose, but atleast many people were saved. There was still a great heartfelt loss that day.

When you got back to base your heart was pounding in your ears. All you could think about was Molly and if she was okay. You hadn’t seen her since you two got separated during the hell bent events. Your eyes scanned frantically through the base, searching for her everywhere.

Your mind went to the worst place possible and you begin to panic. She had to be okay, she was all you had. You needed her more than anyone else. If she’s gone you might as well let a titan eat you during your next mission. Molly kept you alive, and kept you fighting.

“(y/n)?” You hear a familiar deep voice ask.

You spin on your heals and are met with the same deep brown eyes that saved you earlier today. Levi looked upset, face a bit fallen. That’s when your heart sank to your stomach. Did he know where Molly was? Or if she had even made it back?

“Follow me,” he says without any other detail.

He starts walking and you immediately follow as your heart races. At this point you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. Your eyes scan to a sign that says medical as Levi opens the door below it.

You’re led to a the back of the room and you gasp at the sight. On the bed layed Molly with bandages covering many parts of her body. Your eyes fill with tears at the safe shes in, this was too much.

“She’s going to be okay, and the nurse told me she should be up soon,” he says.

You nod your head at his words before reaching to hold Molly’s hand, it was cold as ice.

“Can you please get her a blanket,” you state, it wasn’t even a question. It was more like you weren’t letting go of her hand, more like you couldn’t.

Levi nods and fetches her a couple blankets. He covers her for you and you thank him. The tears still run down your face, but you had already stopped wiping them away. It was no use because they just kept coming harder and harder as you looked at your bestfriend.

“Thank you Levi, I would’ve gone crazy looking for her back there,” you smile through the hurt.

He only hums in response to your words, letting silence fill the air. His hand comes to rest on your shoulder and his fingers move slightly to give you some comfort. It truly was a nice feeling to have someone with you right now, you might think too hard if he wasn’t here.

“I’ll give you some space-“ “no,” You cut him off, “please don’t go.”

Levi sees the hurt in your eyes. He could tell you needed someone right now even if he wasn’t much of a comforting person.

“okay,” he whispers.

He then pulls up a chair next to yours and sits with you for the next few hours in silence. It was somewhat nice, for both of you. Molly begins to stir in her sleep and your perk up. Her eyes flutter open and the first thing she sees is you and she smiles.

“We’ll look at that,” she smiles, “you’re just obsessed with me aren’t you (y/n).”

You laugh through happy tears forming in your eyes. She takes a deep breath and tries to stretch her body but the pain to still too much. She feels your grip on her hand and she squeezes at yours.

“You didn’t think i’d go out that easily did you,” she asks with a smirk on her chapped lips.

“Not for a second,” you said back almost immediately.

She lets out a small laugh at your words. For a second she did think she was going to die as a titan smacked her body mid-air, but that’s all she can remember. It was that, and then she wakes up in medical confused as hell. But seeing you made her know she definitely was okay. Her eyes scan to the figure next to you to see captain Levi. You’d told her before that you’d totally jump his bones if he let you.

“Did you screw the captain while I was out?” she asks playfully.

You and Levi’s breath hitch at her words and she can’t help but let out a laugh. It hurt her chest to laugh that hard but it also in a way made her feel better.

“Really Molly? You were just half dead a few minutes ago and that’s what you wanted to say?” You couldn’t help but laugh along with her. You’d rather her make you and the captain flustered than her be dead.

Levi couldn’t help but smile widely, but he put his head down to hide it. That day you and Levi developed a liking for each other, and both of you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this way.

The lives you each led was going to make it hard, but feelings are strong.

After an hour or so of talking to Molly she fell back asleep for some well needed rest. Levi walked with you down the hall back to your room, making small talk that was hard to even keep going.

“Thank you again Levi,” you look at him with sparkling eyes, “I’m pretty sure anyone else besides Molly would’ve let me be titan desert.”

“Of course, I would never let you be titan desert,” he mumbles the last part. He’d never heard someone refer to themselves as titan desert before, it almost made him laugh.

You stop at your door and look at his with an adoring gaze. He truly was nice looking, and incredibly brave. You wanted to be just like him, you wanted to be even stronger than him one day.

Before you could think you were leaning in to kiss his cheek. His eyes widen and his face heats up. The action rendered him speechess and he watched as your reached for the handle and opened the door before slipping in your room without another word.

He stayed in the hallway for a few seconds staring at where you just stood.

“Shit,” he whispered.

That only sparked his feelings for you further, and he knew this was the beginning of something he’d been avoiding his whole life.

Love.

[adam-banks2024]

Deja Vu

Part 1

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Kind of angst for now, backstory, arguments, and extremely slow burn. Also future poly

He’s insufferable

He’s arrogant. He’s rude. He’s annoying.

He is insufferable.

And I have to deal with him.

Of all the people Mrs. Moore could have partnered me with, she just had to choose him. It’s not like we even put a show on in public, and it’s sad but, everybody knows about the feud between us that started four years ago. 

I had just moved to town from three states over, and I didn’t know anyone my age. After a few weeks of summer went by of not knowing anyone, my dad convinced me to join the district’s hockey team. He told me that it was because he wanted me to make some friends, but I knew that he really just couldn’t afford to pay a babysitter. And my mother, well, she wasn’t in the picture. So I ended up having to go through the lost and found at six different ice rinks in Minnesota in order to get all of my equipment. At first, I was wary of the idea, but my dad said that it was kind of like shopping, so I agreed to go with him. Originally, we would have only had to search five rinks, but I couldn’t find any skates that were my size. After almost twelve hours of rummaging through sweaty pads and broken sticks, I had myself a full set of hockey gear.

Now I was on to the next challenge: How To Skate. I had been ice skating a couple of times before for birthday parties, but I’ve never been able to skate at the level that I had to in order to survive during an entire hockey game. I thought maybe it would just come to me naturally after attending a few practices. Until I did some research at the school library. Apparently, it takes a person at least two months to learn how to ice skate. But ignoring the negative, I decided to focus on the positive. ‘I could at least balance myself...and besides, I probably would be on the bench for every game...and just remember, you’re doing this for friends.’ These were the only three things that ran through my mind on the way to the ice rink. I was honestly terrified. I was scared that the other kids would make fun of me, or worse, ignore me. Well, maybe being made fun of is worse, but at least then they’d acknowledge me. I had to stop myself from thinking about that kinda stuff. I haven’t even attended a single hockey practice yet, and now I’ve added at least four more stressors into my life.

When my dad pulled up to the building, my stomach was tingling. My hands were clammy, and my eyebags had definitely seen better days. I wanted to run so fast away from this place, and not move at all at the same time.

“Nerves,” my dad said. He must’ve noticed from my frozen state in the backseat of his minivan. “You’ll do great! Just don’t break any bones.” He chuckled at the end in hopes that it would come off as a joke, but that is definitely not how it sounded.

To my surprise, I was the first kid that had arrived. I didn’t know much about the team, but I did know that most of the other kids had been on it since they were five or six years old. I was almost the exact opposite, thirteen and just starting. I wasn’t really sure why I was the first person to arrive, and it only added to my nervousness. 

I tried to brush it off as I saw someone outside in the parking lot leave a car holding a bag like you had. I could hear his muffled voice. “I’ll see you at six.” Whoever he was talking to must have responded because the boy spoke again, “yup, love you too.” A parent maybe. A mom? I could faintly make out a silhouette in the driver’s seat, but the glare from the sun blocked most of the car window.

Thank god someone else was here because at least now I knew that I was in the right place. But another problem arose. Now, different things were rushing through my head about what to say to the other boy. Should I make a joke, ask a question? Simply say ‘hello’? I didn’t know. So, I decided to settle on the most stupid thing anyone could ever say. 

“Are you on the hockey team?” What kind of question is that? He has a bag, this time is cut out specifically for hickey practice, and he has a hockey stick with him. Why else would he be here?

He looked up from where he was walking and stared at me awkwardly. It was likely that he wouldn’t have even noticed me if I hadn’t said anything to him. But I did. Which I regretted.

“Oh, um, yeah.” He went to keep on walking but he stopped himself quickly. “Are you?”

I had to keep a laugh in because the boy looked genuinely confused. Or maybe I misjudged that for concern. Still, though, it sounded a bit hopeful. This kid was really hard to read. Either way, I was pretty sure that he thought I couldn’t play hockey.

“Yeah. My dad made me join to make some friends.” 

Suddenly the boy’s demeanor changed. He seemed almost excited that there was a new kid on the team. “Well, I’ll be your first friend. My name’s Adam. Adam Banks. Walk and talk.” And then he started towards two big double doors.

My eyebrows rose at the sudden confidence, taken off guard, but at least he was being friendly. I adjusted your bags and followed right behind him. “So what’s it like here.”

He answered after struggling to open one of the doors, “Well it’s not so bad. It’s super cutthroat during the regular season but in the offseason, it’s pretty relaxed.” As I made myself around the outside of the rink, he kept rambling. “Especially during summer league. The kids who only play during that league have it nice. You’ll definitely survive.”

“Um, so what happens during the regular season?” The thought of angry yelling coaches wasn’t appealing to me, but I could make it work

Adam shrugged his bag up so it wouldn’t fall from his shoulder, “Well. Usually, coach yells at us, tells us that if we don’t win we’re failures, and everyone is constantly fighting to be a starter.” There was silence. “So that’s fun.” I just nodded my head, trying to take this all in. Adam didn’t say anything until he reached the locker room doors. Then he turned to me. “Yeah, but coach is a lot less lenient during summer because it doesn’t really matter for playoffs.”

I scoffed, “yeah, but I’ll eventually have to deal with him. Right?”

Adam’s expression flattened, “Wait, you’re doing winter league too?” He looked genuinely concerned, and now I was second-guessing joining hockey. If this boy didn’t think I could survive, then how could I? Even if I was just gonna sit on the bench, the way this kid was making it out to be was not sounding like the greatest way to make friends.

“Well, yeah. Is that bad?” I needed to hear him say it. Say that I should quit, or join dance, or something. Just so I could have an excuse to tell my dad in case the first day of practice goes awry.

He spoke fast, “Oh no, no. It’s just that--” 

“That I’m not good enough…”

He didn’t say anything. Harsh. I was just trying to make a joke but, I guess that’s what he was really thinking. We stood in silence for a few more seconds, and then he finally thought of something to respond with.

“No. I just feel like you’ll get hurt… and, um.”

I started to laugh. I applaud Adam for trying to make it seem like he didn’t think I was bad, but he just couldn’t do it. “Don’t sweat it, I know I’m gonna be bad.” He started to laugh with me. “Hey, at least I’ll get abs out of it.” 

He and I were actually pretty good friends for the most part. He was my first friend here in Minnesota. He taught me how to skate, and in turn, I offered him some sub-par jokes. He always used to laugh at my jokes even if they were awful. He was what I considered my best friend. He definitely wasn’t a best friend, I couldn’t confide in all of my secrets, and he couldn’t do the same to me, but Adam was the only kid I was friends with. We laughed hard, we fell on the ice together. He even told his mom that practices started to end later just so he could wait with me until my dad got off work and picked me up. 

Not long after we bonded, I hato the ducks. At the time, I didn’t know exactly what happened. All my dad said to me was something about how the coach wasn’t that nice, and that he didn’t want me on his team. I didn’t really care since hockey wasn’t something that I cared about too much. So I said goodbye to Adam and explained that I had to go. I didn’t say anything about the coach-not-liking-me part because then I thought he’d feel bad for me.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to switch teams too, but I think my dads’ gonna see if I can stay on the team.” He spoke almost as if he was trying to convince himself. I thought it was a great idea to tell him why he had to go to the ducks.

“They don’t want you, Adam. Maybe if you go to the ducks, you’ll get a coach who appreciates you.” I didn’t know what was wrong with what I said to him until about a year later, but by the time I finished my sentence, he was fuming.

The situation afterward was a blur, and I can’t remember what all was said. I just remember Adam touching on the fact how I’m an awful hockey player, and that he only talked to me because he felt sorry for me. Now, if my old coach had told me that I was awful at hockey, I’d be completely fine. I already knew that, and coach is just...coach. But hearing it come from Adam? It wasn’t like he was just telling me how it is, he wanted to hurt me.

It took me two weeks to stop thinking about the situation constantly, and then it started to fade away. I never even told him the real reason why I told him what I did, but now I have to work on a history project with him. How am I gonna do that if I can’t even tell him the reason for our quarrel that we had three years ago? Let alone complete a whole project?

“The syllabus will be given tomorrow, and the deadline for this project will be written under the ‘AP History’ bulletin. You may get to work.”

I slumped out of my desk and started putting away my things that were on the table attachment. During this, I tried to think of what I was going to say when I went over to him. I almost decided on either trying to make a truce or just acting like he didn’t exist.

He was slouched in his desk, pencil in hand, avoiding eye contact with me. As I sat down my stuff on an empty desk near him, his words startled me. “So, 50/50?”

I just stared at him. For some reason, my brain could not process what Adam had just said. It took a solid four seconds for me to respond. “I don’t understand.”

Adam’s eyebrows rose while his eyes rolled, “Of course you don’t.”

I scoffed, “What, you’re just gonna say some numbers and you think I’m gonna understand what you’re trying to say?”

He was leaning forward in his desk now, “Well you seemed to be doing well in calculus, so, yes.” A small, mocking smile was now gracing his face. 

I took in a deep breath to try and refrain from spewing whatever profanities came to mind. “Look, can we just set aside whatever this is so we can do this project?” He crossed his arms in response. “C’mon, I can’t afford to get a bad grade.” Still no response. If his goal was to ruin my life, he sure was on the right path. 

“What do I get out of it?”

The audacity.

“I’m just saying. I’ll be fine with one bad grade, so what exactly is the payoff for tolerating...you?”

So there was a shiny glimmer of hope, but it would definitely come at a cost. “Anything. Anything you want. Just please, tolerate me.”

He brought a hand to his chin, acting like he was pondering his choice, “but will it really be anything?”

“Oh my god, you are so annoying.”

“Watch it.” His voice was stern.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. But yes, anything. You name it.”

Did he even know what he wanted? Or was he just trying to play this out? Either way, I’m about to have a conniption if we don’t start working on this project soon.

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. Of course, Adam had to change his thinking position almost every second, until he decided on what he wanted. “Okay, here’s the deal. I help you get your precious little A, and you have to get me a date with Charlie.”

[moonbeambucky]

I Promise (Part 2/2)

Pairing: Chris Beck x Reader Word Count: 4722 Warnings: fluff, light angst, pregnancy

Summary: Before heading to Mars Chris Beck reconnects with his best friend, unaware of the outcome of their night together. With the burden of his mission will Chris make a promise he can’t keep?

A/N: A big thank you to my love Allie @all1e23​​​​​ for beta reading 🍕❤️ gif source (x)

PART 1

In the months that passed Chris had been able to keep up on email with a bit more regularity though it still took some time in between messages. Video calls were less frequent but you still had them. You stood back from your laptop and faced sideways, lifting your shirt to reveal the protrusion of your growing belly. 

His smile was bittersweet, wishing he could be there in person to watch you grow, to feel when the baby starts kicking. You were having a boy and decided to name him Oliver. After you first spoke Chris waited for you to tell your family first before he told his over email, and you followed up with a visit to see them.

His parents, Michael and Lori, were so happy to see you again. They always knew you and Chris were close but now with a grandchild on the way they were thrilled. Along with your parents they offered help immediately, everyone overwhelming you with to-do lists and essential shopping you hadn’t thought about at that point.

“My dad’s going to help make the storage room a nursery.”

Your apartment was technically a one bedroom but there was a small room adjacent to yours you’ve been using as extra space to hold anything random you couldn’t find a spot for anywhere else. It was on the narrow side and currently overcrowded with junk, not the most picturesque nursery but it would have to do for now, as soon as you get rid of things to make space. 

“I wish I was there to help you,” he sighed, not speaking solely about helping you clean. “We’ll be descending for Mars soon so I won’t be able to keep in touch until we get back on the Hermes.” 

You understood. Chris would be there for about a month and you assumed it would take a little longer to hear back from him once they got back on board to begin their journey back. 

It was an unassuming morning at home. You were trying to find a comfortable position on your couch, adjusting the cushion you bought for extra support. You’re tired, finding it harder to fall asleep comfortably with a bigger belly. At 24 weeks your baby was apparently practicing to be a soccer player, his kicks growing stronger every day. You loved this part of pregnancy but you also couldn’t deny how terrible you felt. Your feet started swelling, your skin was itchy and you thought you were going crazy every time you tried to read but the words were blurring. Changes were expected but not in the way you always thought. 

A news report breaks on TV, a red banner that flashes words that have your heart beating rapidly – ARES III ASTRONAUTS COMING HOME. Tears flood your eyes as you hear the news, Mark Watney is dead. Nausea washes over your body in waves and you clutch your stomach, forgetting to breathe until you hear that Chris was safe. You exhale with relief though your heart aches for the crew and Mark’s family. You rubbed your belly in gentle circles, speaking softly to let Oliver know that Daddy was alright and he was coming home. 

It was late December when Chris finally had a chance to call you. Tears glisten in his eyes as he sees you, thanking you for the picture you emailed him from your latest sonogram. The 3D technology showed a clear picture of Oliver’s sweet face and Chris longed to meet him. Your belly had grown as well, with less than three months to go before your due date. 

The nursery was complete and you really owed a lot to your family and Chris’ for helping it come together. Chloe arranged a baby shower which helped fill the nursery with everything you needed, from drawers full of diapers to a wardrobe of clothes, a lot of space themed outfits you couldn’t wait to send Chris pictures of. 

Though you were overjoyed at everyone being there it was hard to keep up a smile. Everyone knew the situation and there was no way getting around the fact that he wouldn’t be home for another year. Still you pushed on and tried not to dwell on what you couldn’t change.

“Wow,” Chris marveled as you showed him your bump. “You’re so much bigger since I last saw you.” The flat, unamused expression you shot Chris made him quickly stutter on his words. “I meant your bump, it’s… you look beautiful, I promise.” You smiled a little, trusting him even if you didn’t quite believe it all the time. 

Catching up came to a halt when Chris began to open up about what happened. You knew it was coming. It was ubiquitous in the news cycle but hearing it from Chris directly made your stomach churn. You wished you could be there, to wipe away his tears and hold him close as he mourned for his friend. You wished even more that you could tell him the truth… Mark was alive. 

You received communication from NASA just before the public learned about it though you were specifically instructed not to tell Chris about the information. According to them the crew needed to focus on their mission home and honestly you thought it was a bunch of bullshit. You felt nauseous the whole time speaking to Chris, trying to hide the truth you so desperately wanted to tell him. Lying was not something you and Chris ever did to each other and every second you held your tongue felt like you were betraying all the years of your friendship. 

When the call ended you shut your laptop, hanging your head low and breaking down into tears. It was a deep, messy faced cry with guttural sobs. You were crying for everything. For Mark, mistakenly left to die on a planet of isolation, for Chris and lying to his face, for Oliver who can’t have his father around like you wanted him to be.

As time went on you felt better, emailing and speaking to Chris whenever he could. It’s February and your heart feels lighter as you await the video connection. You try not to get sentimental with Valentine’s Day having just passed. You and Chris are not anything officially, just two adults who have known each other their whole lives having a baby… but the idea doesn’t scare you. 

You think back to your thirtieth birthday and what would have happened if you were single. Would Chris have mentioned the promise? It’s a silly thought. He was so busy with his career he probably wouldn’t have gone through with it but you can’t help thinking about the “what if.” And now you were single, single and pregnant with his child, so what if…

Your thoughts are cut off immediately when you actually see Chris. His eyes were rimmed red, eyes glistening with tears that made the tiny red veins scattered across the whites of his eyes look like they were bleeding.

“Mark is alive,” his voice shuddered through a heaving sob. 

Your mouth dropped open as you listened in shock. How does he know? 

Chris rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, eyes squeezing tight as he exhaled another heavy sigh. “I’m the one that called it, did you know that? I told Commander Lewis he was dead and they knew…” 

His words dropped, his voice failing to speak but Chris’ grief turned to anger just as quickly. “They knew… they knew for two goddamn months that he was alive! Do you know how that feels?”

Your heart was breaking for him even more and there was nothing you could do but offer words of comfort as he vented. “Chris I’m so sorry. Who told you?”

“Mitch Henderson, our flight director, he– wait.” Chris’ body stiffened, eyes narrowing at the screen. “What do you mean who? Did… did you know?”

You dropped your head in shame, unable to answer him in words.

“You knew? Y/N look at me!” he shouted. 

Your head snapped up to see Chris’ nostrils flaring, jaw clenched tight. “You knew my friend was alive and you didn’t tell me?” he grit through his teeth, anger burning hotter than the sun. 

“I’m sorry Chris, I couldn’t.” 

He scoffed, cutting off your explanation. His tone raised to a level he’s never taken with you before. “You couldn’t what, Y/N? You looked me in the eye and lied to me about everything!”

Though Chris may have been justified in his anger it shouldn't have been directed at you. Just as quickly you retorted, “I’m not the only one Chris! Everyone knows, your parents, Chloe; this isn’t on me. NASA told us not to say anything to distract you.”

“Oh but telling me you’re pregnant wasn’t a distraction?” he snapped.

Chris knew he made a mistake but it was too late, the words came out and he couldn’t take them back. He watched you sink in your chair, your lips beginning to quiver. You dropped your head down to hide the tears but he could see them leaving wet puddles on the fabric of your shirt. 

He was upset, feeling guilty about leaving Mark stranded even though he knows there was nothing he could have done. His biometer was damaged, he thought… they all thought he was dead and if they didn’t leave they’d all have died too. There was nothing he could do to change the past but this isn’t what he wanted. 

Chris was angry and frustrated with everything. He wanted his friend to be safe on the Hermes, he wanted this mission to be over, he wanted… to be with you. You were due in three weeks and the closer the date got the more he hated being up in space when all he wanted was to be by your side. 

“Y/N… Y/N please… I’m sorry,” he sniffled, wiping away fresh tears that began to fall. “I didn’t mean to take this out on you… please…”

Tears still fell as you lifted your head slowly towards the screen to find Chris looking just as upset as you were. You cleared your throat, wiping the wetness away from your cheek as you spoke, “If you don’t want to do this–”

“No!” he cut you off immediately, “Y/N please, I was wrong. I was upset and I didn’t mean that. I want this more than anything. I’m sorry.”

The sincerity was clear in the depths of his eyes, staring at you as if he was unworthy of your gaze. You took a moment to think of what he’s going through; the world had time to process everything that was happening with Mark but for Chris this was new and upsetting and you understood.

“I’m sorry too. I never wanted to lie to you.”

“Stop, you don’t have to apologize, I was an asshole.” Chris immediately stops your protests and you let him, feeling yourself smile again the longer you continue to speak. “I miss you a lot, do you know that?” His smile returned as he spoke, asking how you were feeling with your upcoming due date.

Your smile stretches wider across your face. “I miss you too. I’m…” The smile curbs a bit as you let out a sigh. “I’m nervous honestly, excited but scared I guess, I don’t know. I know it’s unrealistic and maybe even a bit selfish to say but I feel like if you were here I’d be a lot better.”

He apologizes again though you find yourself doing the same, not meaning to add to the guilt he already lives with. “I wish I could be there but I know you’re going to get through it, and Oliver already has the best mom in the world.” 

Your mouth gasped open and you placed your hand on your bump. “He just kicked when you said that, I’m not even kidding!” 

“See, it’s true,” he grinned widely. 

There was a faint noise in the background and you saw Chris looking off to the side. When he turned back to face the screen you could tell by the tension in his face that he was needed for something. 

“I have to go now, but… I love you Y/N.”

Though you’ve heard those words so many times before and have spoken them yourself, this time they felt different. You wondered if he meant to put that new emotion behind it and if you felt the same.

There wasn’t much time to ponder these thoughts as two weeks later you were in the hospital, with your mom and Chloe by your side getting you through labor. It was an excruciating ordeal with contractions that were so intense you were in tears. They helped you breathe through them, letting you squeeze their hands as you received an epidural and finally a few hours later it was time to push. Chloe recorded the birth over your shoulder for Chris and with a strangled cry Oliver came into the world. 

Tears of joy ran down your cheeks as you held him against you. He was beautiful and you could see so much of Chris in him already. A bittersweet sob wracked through you, wishing he was there. 

Chris called the whole crew in to see photos of Oliver as he opened his email. There were a ton, his family making sure they took pictures from every angle. There were close ups of his little toes, pictures of him sleeping and Chris’ favorites of you holding him.

“Congratulations Beck!” “Welcome to fatherhood.” “He’s beautiful.” 

Chris saved some things for himself like Oliver’s birth and a special message you sent him. The phone was held out in front of you, the unforgiving hospital lights showing off how tired you looked but to Chris you were beautiful and shining as bright as the stars.

“We did it.” Your voice was soft and strained, but you still pushed on to speak to him. The camera flipped towards the bassinet beside your bed with Oliver sleeping peacefully. “Say hi to Daddy,” you whispered softly. There were a few moments of silence watching him sleep, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle as Oliver’s mouth twitched. “I can’t wait for you to meet him Chris,” the camera flipped around again, “I know you’re going to be an amazing father. I love you so much.” 

When the video ended Chris couldn’t help but kiss the screen, wishing it was your lips that his were pressed against. He’s eagerly counting the days and soon enough he would be.

Chris sat uncomfortably in his chair, elbow resting on the glossy white table as his hand covers his mouth, hiding the worry and tension of his lips. He feels like he swallowed a bag of rocks, his stomach is tense and tight, cramping in all the worst ways. He tried to hide it, shifting in his chair as he listens to his Commander lay out a plan to save Mark.

It goes directly against NASA’s orders and he’s not sure what the consequences would be for mutiny but he doesn’t care about that, not if it means they can rescue their friend.

“...If we do everything perfectly we add 533 days to our mission, 533 more days before we see our families again, 533 days of unplanned space travel where anything could go wrong.. If it’s mission critical, we die.”

He shifts again, his stomach twisting in all directions as he ponders what to do. He missed your pregnancy, Oliver’s birth. He could be home in six months and his heart swells at the thought. He is ready to happily spend his nights changing diapers and preparing bottles, bonding with his son and allowing you the sleep you need. 

Chris’ shoulders slump. He doesn’t know much about fatherhood but he does know he wants to be someone Oliver could look up to and he wouldn’t be that person if he didn’t stay true to his heart and make a tough decision. 

“Well, it has to be unanimous,” Commander Lewis said, scanning her head to lock eyes with each member of the crew. 

It would be another year and a half before Chris saw you and Oliver and the thought hurts him deeply but he knows it’s for the best. “Let’s go get him,” he said, his voice wavering between excitement and trepidation. He knew this was right and he hoped you would believe him. 

Once the Hermes corrected their course it was official and NASA knew they would have to send them the resupply probe for their extended mission. Now all Chris had to do was tell you.

It was hard to watch the tears stream down your face as you broke down, you weren’t even able to wipe them with Oliver sleeping in your arms. Chris is crying too, looking at the sweet face of the son he has to wait even longer to meet. You know why he’s doing this and you can’t exactly be mad at him. Even growing up Chris was always the person to do the right thing no matter the consequence. 

“Y/N… if anything happens…”

“No!” you cut him off, letting out your anguish as softly as you could so you didn’t disturb Oliver. “Chris, don’t say that.” Your eyes pleaded with him, hating that he made you even consider the worst.

“Please, if anything happens I want you to know that you and Oliver…” His voice gives out, even Chris has a hard time accepting a very possible reality. “I made sure you’ll be taken care of.” 

He stared straight through you and you understood what he meant. Adjusting your grip on Oliver, you quickly wiped the wetness from your cheek and rubbed at your nose. “You have to come back to us, promise me.”

“I promise,” he replied with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He wants to keep his promise but it’s not something he can guarantee. Oliver stirs in your arms, his face twisting as he lets out a piercing cry as if he also knew the stakes at hand.

You soothe your son as best as you could, feeling he needed a diaper change. Before saying goodbye you looked into Chris’ eyes through the screen, wishing you could reach out and cup his cheek as you proclaimed, “I love you, Chris.” You meant every word, more than ever before. 

His cheeks pulled into a warm smile as he said it back. The screen goes dark and he sits quietly starting his countdown over for the day he can say it to you again in person.

A year has passed and you’re sitting on the floor with Oliver in your lap, holding a book out in front of you. This was your nightly routine before bed, letting him pick out a story from his little shelf against the wall and reading it together. He was very interested at this age, helping you turn the pages or pointing at the pictures that you would describe and try to get him to repeat.

He’s grown so much and every day you find more ways he looks like Chris, especially when he scrunches his nose, putting up a fuss when eating bananas. 

Oliver’s first birthday was two months ago, it was a small party at Chris’ parents house filled with cake and presents but the best gift was that Chris was able to call in. You cried immediately, holding Oliver up to the screen and pointing at Chris. “Dada! Look Oliver it’s Dada!”

There were pictures of Chris in your house and every time you passed them you would show Oliver, hoping the connection would eventually sink in. Oliver grinned at the screen showing off four tiny teeth in the center of his smile. “Oliver it’s Daddy!” Chris said, waving his hands. “Hey buddy. I love you Oliver. I’ll see you soon.” 

It didn’t feel real that Chris was actually coming home this year since he’s been gone for so long. You’ve been keeping in touch, emailing him as many pictures and videos of Oliver as you could. Everyone loved the professional shots taken when he was six months old, dressed in pajamas printed with planets on them, holding a bottle shaped like a spaceship. In others he was dressed as an astronaut tethered to a bright and colorful rocketship laying against a starry background made to look like he was floating in space, just like his Dad.

With Oliver in bed you went to the kitchen to make yourself something to eat though you could barely focus. You were on edge, watching the live stream of Mark Watney’s rescue on your phone. 

Your head lifted to the TV as you waited like the rest of the world, watching the rescue in real time. It took an hour before there was confirmation that Mark was safely on board and the relief brought tears to your eyes. The whole world was celebrating and you couldn’t imagine how happy Chris and his crew were to get him back and soon enough Chris would be home too.

While some people were opening up presents on Christmas morning you were opening suitcases and getting ready to pack things for yourself and Oliver to fly to Houston to see Chris. The crew landed two days ago and seeing footage of him being pulled from the capsule brought tears to your eyes. You pointed to the screen for Oliver, “Who’s that? That’s…” 

His face lit up, his little hand slapping at the screen as his squeaky voice said, “It’s Daddy!”

“That’s right. Good job!” you beamed, planting a kiss to his soft cheek.

Oliver did a lot of growing up in the last year. He was a few months shy of two, a little ball of energy that brought smiles everywhere he went. He was playful and kind, he loved to splash bubbles during bathtime, and wiggle his body to music. 

Chris was able to see his emerging personality whenever you spoke to each other. Oliver was shy at first and a little confused, looking back at you instead of the screen as Chris was trying to talk to him. It took a lot of patience but you got there, pointing at Chris and saying “It’s Daddy!” enough times for Oliver to finally recognize him. Chris would smile and wave, calling him his little buddy and Oliver waved back. He was hesitant at first but regular video calls normalized their relationship and soon Oliver would press his lips to your laptop, leaving a big wet kiss on the screen meant for his Dad. 

It was hard knowing Chris was back on Earth but you couldn't see him yet. He was undergoing physical evaluations and you were certain more testing would be necessary in the future considering he and the Ares III crew have set a record, spending nearly three times the amount in space than ever before. You chuckled to yourself, knowing Chris would probably want to take on the study himself although part of you knew he was more anxious to spend time with you and Oliver, a thought that made your heart swell.

A week later and you were at the Johnson Space Center, in a waiting room meant for the family of returning astronauts. Oliver is playing with Aunt “Coey” as he called her, holding his spacecraft toy and making it fly above armrests of the row of blue chairs you’re so tired of staring at. Whenever you heard noise in the hallway you quickly rushed towards Oliver, brushing his hair in place with your hands and adjusting the bottom of his striped blue shirt. 

This time you were right to be prepared as a man opened the door. You all scrambled to stand up, holding Oliver in front of you with your hands on his shoulders. The man nodded, giving a quick smile and suddenly you felt overcome with nerves. After two and a half years you were finally about to see Chris again and your heart was beating wildly. You tried to steady your breaths, holding a nervous smile as you waited for him to walk through the door.

The moment he did you were overcome with emotion, bursting out with tears of joy, a smile stretching from ear to ear. He was here, he was actually here. Chris had a smile that beamed as bright as the stars, his eyes glistening with tears as he looked at you and Oliver who had grown restless of standing and made his way into his grandpa’s arms. 

Chris walked unsteadily towards you, thinking Oliver could probably walk better than he can at the moment as he was still adjusting to gravity. You ran forward meeting him more than halfway, throwing your arms around him for a crushing hug. As you cried against his chest your own legs nearly gave out when you felt his arms around you. 

“I missed you so much,” you muffled against his shirt, pulling yourself back to stare into his eyes once more. 

“I love you,” he said, a clear admission of the feelings in his heart, no longer meant with platonic innocence. 

You were always close and while the two of you never saw each other as anything but friends it certainly surprised everyone around you when you didn’t end up together. Things were different now and you both felt the shift in your relationship since he’s been away. It was more than the bond you had by having a child together; Chris always had a place in your heart and you wondered why it took this long to see it. 

“I love you too,” you cried again, feeling the relief of his lips against yours as they pressed together for a sweet and long overdue kiss. 

Lori kissed her son, hugging him quickly as did Chloe who was eager to record Chris and Oliver’s first official introduction on her phone. Michael placed him down and you kneeled beside Oliver. Chris eased himself down, feeling his heart pounding like a drum in his ears. In the last few years he’s been through countless stressful situations, none of which were more nerve wracking than meeting his son for the first time. 

There’s a nervous look on Oliver’s face as a room full of people are all watching him and he turns to look at you, his eyes pleading for help. You reassured him that everything was okay and like the many times you’ve done in the past you pointed towards Chris. Your voice wavered as the words you spoke bubbled out of your throat, “Oliver, this is your Daddy.”

Chris smiled softly, keeping a short distance between himself and Oliver because he didn’t want to overwhelm him. It was clear Oliver was unsure of what to do, looking back and forth between you and Chris. 

“Hey buddy, it’s me. I’m your Daddy,” Chris said and finally Oliver’s face lit up with recognition. 

He grinned, waving to Chris in front of him as they had done through the screen so many times before. With a proud smile Oliver picked up the hem of his shirt, exposing his tummy and strung together a sentence of mostly recognizable words that meant, “I have a belly button!”

A tear squeezed out from the corner of Chris’ eyes as he laughed, “Yeah you do buddy!”

The ice was broken between them and Chris looked over his shoulder at someone who discreetly handed him something behind his back.

“I’m so happy to meet you Oliver. This is for you,” Chris said, handing over a teddy bear dressed as an astronaut. 

He jumped as he took the bear, squeezing it in his arms with the happiest smile. With some encouragement you had him thank Chris and Oliver pursed his lips forward to kiss Chris’ cheek. Oliver let Chris hug him and he smiled through his tears, finally experiencing what he’s been imagining for years, holding his son in his arms. 

Chris thought his days among the stars were over but together with you and Oliver he’s surrounded by a whole galaxy of love. Each day shines brighter than the last and Chris has no doubt that one day soon he will finally keep his promise.

[throwawayfish]

𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐱 𝐊𝐨𝐨𝐤!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐀𝐔)

summary: being born a kook has it’s benefits, the line that’s separates the island, preventing you from seeing beyond it isn’t one of them. especially when someone starts sending you letters and you have no idea who they are.

warnings: fluff, language, angst, mentions of cheating, typos, slight pov change but not too noticeable, kinda long

a/n: this is a story in my drafts that i’ve had for a long time, so i decided to publish it as i’m trying to finish the last bit of the series i’m working on. gifs used are mine unless otherwise noted.

comment on my main masterlist if you want to be added to my taglist! ♡

there it is again, the pretend service road that you always stare blankly at. an upset feeling slowly spreading across your insides every time you wander around the area.

it wasn’t because you didn’t want to be at that place, but because you knew that once you step past that line, there is a whole other world than what you’re used to, and you can’t help but want nothing more than to see it for yourself. because you know that the people from the other side can see your world.

ever since you were a kid, along with the others your age whose parents rule the upper class side of the island, you were always told that monsters live on the cut. that the reason why only a long service road was visible was because fairies were protecting you from seeing the monsters trying to break the barrier to your side, the “good” side.

as time went by those beliefs faded, realizing that you weren’t exactly living a disney life, that your happiness was limited despite it being shown off to the people you once had no idea existed.

it all started when your best friend sarah crossed, leaving you behind without any explanation besides being sick of being a kook. you were left to handle the expectations both your families had, including the responsibility of maintaining the name of your family, the camerons and thorntons.

you wished for her to come back, hoping that there was a chance for her return to figure eight though you were well aware that when one crosses, they can never go back. waiting every day at the exact time and place ever since she crossed, not caring if people from the other side are watching you sit there and look lost.

and that’s the thing you never knew, before rafe cameron decided to mock you when he saw you sitting down on the gravel, telling you that the people from the cut can see everything from their perspective.

it was a friday night, meaning that you once again ventured to the barrier to wait for your friend to make an appearance, even though you know it was not possible. the warm hues of the sun deeply tainting the horizon as the area farthest from it were the first to be as dark as the depths of the ocean.

after a few minutes of waiting, you decided that you were no longer going to wait for sarah. though hesitant, you slowly tried to accept that it was impossible for her to come back. you just settled at the thought that she’s happy where she is now, enjoying her life all day with salt water in her hair and the warmth of the sun in her cheeks.

sarah knew you always waited at the place that prompted her new life. so when she knew you were there, she goes, just to see you again. even though what she always sees is a sulking girl waiting for her best friend to come back.

people from the cut who passes by the border always asks her questions about who you were. overtime getting used to watching you blankly stare at them because they knew you could never get a glimpse behind the line.

sarah’s decision to cross was impulsive and rushed as she didn’t bid any goodbyes. knowing that once she did, she would change her mind once she realizes that she’s leaving you. so without another word, she stepped over.

she initially felt unwelcomed, to say the least. not having anyone to talk to and a place to stay, she ended up at the wreck from her long journey to get through the night.

the cut was not what she expected. to be frankly honest, it was better than what the older people from the eight described. it wasn’t gloomy, eerie or sinister. it was normal. sure it is daunting to be in a whole other world alone as a teenager, but seeing people go in and out of the restaurant, teens her age laugh as they walk the humid streets with their friends, she came to a conclusion that this is something she can get used to. because there was life on the cut, more life than the comfortable one that was handed to them on the eight.

the bell rang as a group of boys around her age entered. the blonde one shouting throughout the place, causing a beautiful brunette girl to come out from the back room to scold the boy.

she laughed at their antics, the tallest boy in the group making her heart skip a beat as they made eye contact.

that was the start of her being a part of the ‘pogues’. somewhat immediately being accepted into their friendship if it weren’t for the unwelcoming energy of the blonde boy.

it was a day after a hurricane when they all decided to go out to the marsh. the five of them spending their day under the sun, stomachs filled with chips and beer in courtesy of kie.

that was until they found a sunken boat which caused them to be their usual curious selves and end up in a motel. putting on their detective masks and ventured the island trying to gather any information they can get.

night time came and they were hanging out by the dock at the chateau, sharing their second batch of canned beers while discussing their futures.

when time came for sarah’s turn, she stood up, hastily bidding her goodbye and apology saying she needs to hurry. the rest watched her figure disappear in the distance. still surprised at the usual agenda of the girl, which they should’ve gotten used to by now.

it was silent for awhile when the blonde decided to break it, knowing that none of them have the courage to address the elephant in the room.

“she’s cheating on you. i hate to say it, she is.” kie widened her eyes at him, passing on the message that he needed to stop, it didn’t faze him though.

“it’s been ongoing since we met her. i don’t even understand why she’s part of this group. i get it you’re dating her but-” “jj!” kie yelled at him this time, pope shaking his head making it known that he was siding with kiara on this one.

“every friday night she leaves us no matter what we’re doing. same time as always. this is not some essay comprehension shit we do in school. even three year olds can get an idea of what’s going on here” he said as he played with his lighter

“why does it matter? she might have stuff to do that she doesn’t want us to know. let’s just respect her privacy.” pope commented, john b nodding in agreement

“kooks bro. they just don’t sit right with me.” he muttered as he chugged down the last bit of beer. “as far as i know sarah left figure eight to have a new life. just by that you can tell she’s different.” john b once again defended his girlfriend

“if she’s not meeting some other guy i think she’s just rebelling. sooner or later she’ll get sick of us and go crawling back to the border til she realizes she cannot cross back.”

kiara sighed, over the petty argument her friend started “i think that’s enough, jj”

one by one they all started to gather their stuff and go back to the chateau, but jj had different plans as he lied saying he was going to go for a walk, to wind down from their busy day. him being him, the pogues let him go

jj looked at the places where the blonde lass might be, growing up on the cut and having no choice but to stay there, he practically has the south side memorized like the back of his hand.

kooks in general made his stomach churn, the term itself pissing him off just by hearing it. the main reason though was because he was mad.

he was mad that they were the ones to receive all blows and brags of the rich. when people from there get sick of their cookie cutter life, they cross. having another chance to change their routine. but when it came to them, there was no other way. no matter how rich you get on the cut, you stay on the cut. be the richest of the poor.

the cold yet sultry late summer weather accompanied him on his walk on kildare’s dark streets. turning every corner he thought sarah might be. after a few disappointments, he heard rattling from a bike’s chain. and there was his target, seemingly cautious as to whom was around her.

jj didn’t want to snoop around. he knew it wasn’t his business to know every decision the girl makes. but he wanted to protect his best friend whether his suspicions were true or not.

“go home!” she heard the girl shout. he decided to hide behind the tree, not knowing why sarah was crying. when he decided to peek, she found her sitting on the cold stone ground, matching the position of the girl from the other side of the bright line. who, for a moment, made him forget she was a kook as the girl sent butterflies to his stomach.

“i know you can’t hear me, but i’m sorry for leaving. but you also can’t let me be guilty for choosing my happiness.”

she stood up, getting on her bike and leaving the unknowing girl who remained in her place.

now he had an idea as to why the new member of their group was always leaving. when he was sure that she was gone, he slowly approached the girl. looking down at her and watched her expressions.

he knew it was a creepy thing to do, especially since she cannot see him. but he admired her, at first sight, much to his surprise.

soon he noticed the girl standing up, not wanting to lose the chance of communicating with her, he shuffled between his multiple pockets to search for anything to connect to her.

finding a crumpled grocery list that john b once gave him and a pen from he knows where, he wrote a quick message, and threw the paper across, which surprisingly went through being that no one from the cut could ever cross or send something over. it landed just in time, enough to catch her attention before she was far enough.

you stood up from the cold land to get back to your car, the misty wind enveloped your figure. it was rather silent in the area, making it easy for you to turn around to see a crumpled piece of paper drop from thin air.

𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢 𝚖𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜.

you picked it up and looked straight to the vast road, expecting the feeling of emptiness, instead you felt comfort. it wasn’t sarah, because you know her presence by heart, but it’s as if you were tied to the person from the other side. it’s as if you were looking directly in their eyes.

the note contained a lame pickup line that still made you smile. soon enough a pen dropped out of nowhere, and you got the message that they wanted to talk.

not minding his messy writing, you decided to stay and communicate with the person on the other side, you passed the pen and paper back and forth across the border. sitting down once again as you wrote to someone you didn’t know, better yet, cannot see.

jj was the name you got, saying that he can see you. your beautiful face. blood crept up to your cheeks as you read it, smiling at him though the only thing in front of you are rocks and fallen leaves on a long winding road.

the moment you realized that what you’re doing is kinda intense, you’ve been closed off. standing off and passing him the paper containing your farewell.

𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚞𝚗 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚓𝚓. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎. 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚢 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚐𝚎.

he didn’t know what to do for a moment, not wanting to lose the chance of not seeing you again, so he took the last chance he could get to stop you from leaving.

he scrambled as he tried to quickly write in the crumpled sheet, throwing it across as he keenly watched your expression. and with that he knew he did something that could either make or break you being comfortable in talking to him.

𝚒’𝚖 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑

the note made your heart drop and at the same time jump with gaiety. you knew that through him, you could reconnect with your best friend again. but jealousy was creeping behind your mind as you realized that he gets to see her while you can’t.

𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞

it took a minute for the paper to come back that you thought he just left you hanging, but quite a long message came back.

𝚜𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚓𝚘𝚑𝚗 𝚋. 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚒 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚎𝚛. 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞.

you smiled, colliding the paper with the tip of the pen once again.

𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠.

you looked down at your lap while fiddling with your fingertips. for a moment, crossing slipped through your mind as you stared at the letter. however images of your family and so called friends replaced it immediately. the expectations that you need to fulfill and the reputation you need to maintain.

𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍?

you looked up as you heard the materials once again land in front of you. a promising message that comforted you. you stood up as you passed the note back, running away as you hastily went back to your house.

𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝.

you grabbed a duffel bag as you fit in as much clothes as you can. putting in the glass jar that you filled with spare change and extra allowance over the years.

it was a life changing decision, you knew that. it will never be the same again once you enter a whole different life. these were your thoughts yet you still continued packing, hurrying and trying to be as quiet as possible.

as you finished, you gave one last look into your still fully furnished room that nonetheless felt empty. you shook off your hesitation as you turned around and went through the back door of your quiet estate.

jj was ten minutes early, not wanting to let you be alone in your arrival, he wasn’t even sure if you’re planning to cross, but he wanted to see you, it doesn’t matter what you’re plotting.

you neared the line, standing in front of it as you looked blankly in front of you. second guessing whether you wanted to continue what you we’re planning to.

it was silent in the area, only cicadas being heard as the moon shined bright, illuminating the streets, it rained a bit on your way back, now the the gravel was soaking up every last bit of raindrop that touched it.

you weren’t sure if the boy was there waiting for you, but a shark tooth necklace dropped at the bottom of your feet, giving you the assurance that he was in fact there, ready to be a witness of your breakthrough.

the life you were leaving behind entered your headspace once again, but the welcoming presence of the boy kept you grounded as your mind clouded with thoughts, and at that moment you knew you’re in good hands.

so you crossed.

and there wasn’t even an ounce of regret as you were met with solace, caused by a pair of cerulean eyes that studied your features, and you couldn’t help but do the same. his crooked teeth complimented his perfect smile. mirroring his stance and facial expressions, you dropped your bag and gave him a smile that radiated appreciation.

“hi.” he whispered, his voice raspy as nervousness enveloped him.

you giggled, putting your hand out “i believe this belong to you.” electricity flowing through both your fingertips as it slightly brushed. he grabbed your duffel bag as he motioned his head towards the new place you’re gonna soon call home.

“i would love to get to know you, the pogues would think that as well, but i know you’re dying to see sarah. let’s get you to your best friend.”

hope you guys liked this one! wishing this compensates for the wait of my series ‘The Definitely’s Maybe’’s final chapter. stay tuned for that.

tell me if you wanna be tagged/removed in future posts or have it be updated as i cannot tag some of you! have a great day! ♡

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