#these are really fun to make!! takes forever to find fitting moments though

[okthisway]

Gale's intimidation check

[scuttling]

Flicker in the Dark - Jacob Black/Reader

Fandom: Twilight Saga Pairings: Jacob Black/Female Reader Word Count: 12,598 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Pining, Unprotected sex, Slightly aged up (Jacob is 20), Fix it fic Summary: My take on New Moon, if all of the characters were a bit more mature and Jacob got his girl. A/N: This is a third-person story that pairs Jacob with a girl who isn't Bella but who fills her role in the story; Bella doesn't exist in this universe because I find she's not as interesting to write as an original character, for me personally. The character has no name and no physical description, so treat her as an OC or a "reader," your choice there. :)

Keep reading below or link to AO3!

Bringing the idea of fixing the bikes to Jacob was the best thing she’s ever done: the best, and one of the dumbest, by far. 

They both have adult obligations now—she has class, and a part-time job, which are thankfully both online, and Jake works full time—so when the stars align and they’re free at the same time, they spend every moment in his garage like a couple of bored kids. They listen to music on his dad’s old radio, eat pizza and tacos standing up much more often than they should; Jacob isn’t twenty-one just yet, but they’re on the rez, so they sip beers sometimes, especially on the rare warm days where the sun shines into the garage and sweat prickles at their hairlines. 

He’s taller at twenty than he was when he was younger, broader and more filled out, like he’d said back on her birthday; she notices, sometimes, things like the tightness of his t-shirts stretched across his back, the way his jeans fit just, extraordinarily well. Those kinds of things you can’t help but notice, even if you’re emotionally, physically, and mentally unavailable, the way she is. 

He pokes fun at her age—forever a sore spot, especially when Edward is and will be twenty-two forever—but she catches him noticing her, too, sometimes, so she’s not a total embarrassment at least.

It doesn’t happen right away, like magic or anything, but hanging out in his garage does make her feel better; he makes her feel better, if she’s being honest with herself. He quiets the chatter in her brain, the anxiety, the self-doubt, and she smiles more when she’s with him, laughs more, gets out of her own head. She’s happier when she’s with him, too, bikes or no bikes—though the roar of the restored motorcycle engine certainly doesn’t hurt—and he’s good for her, there’s no denying that.

She remembers her dad’s advice, even more meaningful now that she’s moved out of his house and living on her own—sometimes, you gotta learn to love what’s good for you—and she even thinks she could, some days. 

That’s easy enough to say to herself, but so, so much harder in practice. She can tell Jacob is… interested, when they go to the movies, with the way he lays his hand on the armrest, palm up, in case she wants to hold it. Part of her wants to, really wants to; part just thinks about Edward and she clams up, can’t do it. She feels guilty, like she’s doing something wrong, even though he left her and not the other way around. 

She still loves him, will always love him, but Edward made his choice; she just wishes she felt free enough to make her own.

She feels guilty when they ride, too, because the one thing he’d asked of her was not to be reckless, and now she goes out of her way to find a rush wherever she can. Anything legal, be it motorcycles, rock climbing, running, skydiving, really, really big roller coasters—you name it, she’s done it, and though none of it ever worked as well as she’d hoped it would, she never stops trying. 

She knows better than to give herself over to things like drugs or binge drinking or meaningless one-night stands, but aside from that the limits to what she will try are almost non-existent. She loves the thrill of it all, loves feeling brave, feeling strong; In the end, she may wind up with a few cuts and bruises, but as long as she’s hurting no one but herself, she doesn’t feel too bad.

When she hurts Jacob, she feels awful, terrible, and she does hurt him—he’s so hurt for a while that he doesn’t want to see her, doesn’t even return her calls. She feels weak for the first time in a long time, like if she’d just been able to be what he wanted, to hold his hand, to kiss him, to get over herself, they both would have been happier. Now she just feels sad, and selfish, hurting the one person who has always been there for her, who’s always eased her pain.

She wants to respect his space, can’t bear the thought of hurting him more than she already has, but her anxiety gets the better of her; no amount of kickboxing or rock climbing has been able to take her mind off of him since that night at the movies, when he left in such a hurry. Even Edward has shifted to the back of her mind, though she has no idea when exactly that happened.

So she goes to him. Against his wishes. In the pouring rain. 

She’s so, so stupid.

He’s so, so shredded, even more so than usual; it’s the first thing she notices only because he’s soaking wet and shirtless and that makes it pretty obvious. The second thing she notices is his hair, no longer long and pulled back with a cord of leather, but cropped short, though inky black as always. The third thing she notices is the tattoo, a large, tribal design on his shoulder that looks well-healed even though she saw him less than a week ago.

She catalogs all of that, and then she remembers he’s avoiding her and that she’s here to ask for forgiveness (she’s willing to beg, but it’s sort of a last resort.)

She calls his name, but he doesn’t turn around at first, not until she’s right in front of him, fists balled angrily at her sides.  

“Jacob, I’m sorry… I’m sorry about the movie. Can we talk about it?” He huffs an unamused laugh, takes half a step closer; that kind of thing used to be playful, but now it seems almost menacing, between the muscles and the tattoo and the deepening frown on his face. 

“This isn’t about that. You–you need to leave. Now.” The tone of his voice leaves no room for argument… but then again, that’s never stopped her before. She steps closer too, more of a challenge than anything.

“Well if it’s not about that, what is it? What happened?” He turns away as if to leave and she reaches for him, fingers latching onto his wrist. She knows right away that when she tugs, and he turns, it’s because he let it happen; there’s no way anyone could force him to do anything now, not with how big he is, how strong, how solid beneath her hand. “Is it Sam? Did he get to you too?” 

“I was wrong about Sam. He’s helping me through it—just like he helped the others,” he says, but it sounds odd to her ears. If something was wrong, if he’d needed help, he would have come to her… right? “I can’t do this right now—you have to go. Please go.” 

Before, he was stern, but this time he’s pleading for her to leave, and that’s just not Jacob—they’d hash it out before he cut her off without so much as a word, instead of ghosting her and making his father lie for him and keeping secrets with Sam Uley.

“Jake,” she pleads too, but instead of tightening her grip on his wrist she brings her hand up to the nape of his neck, to brush through the short hair that lays there, drenched in rainwater. “Please don’t do this to me.” 

He closes his eyes like it pains him, and it very well might; she knows the similarities to the night Edward left are becoming almost too much for her to bear. 

Maybe that’s why she came here, after all, because she could, because at least she still knew where she could find him. Because even if he didn’t want to talk to her, at least she’d know he was okay. 

“I’m not doing this to you, I’m doing it for you. I’m not who you thought I was, I’m not good for you. You can’t be around me anymore.” 

Fuck that, she thinks immediately, because she is so absolutely tired of people telling her what she can and can’t do, what she’s strong enough for, what’s safe. 

She doesn’t want safe. All she wants is Jacob. 

“I decide what’s good for me; I decide,” she says, voice raised and rough, jabbing a finger in his direction, and he grabs both of her forearms and holds them between them. He looks like he wants to shake her, he’s so frustrated, but his grip isn’t tight. “You think you’re going to hurt me, or something? Because look at us, Jake.” Her gaze moves to his hands on her, holding her still but doing it gently, carefully. “It’s okay. You won’t hurt me, I know it.” 

He drops her arms like she’s burned him, like he didn’t even realize he was holding them, and takes two steps back, away from her.

“You’re right, I won’t—because you can’t ever come here again.” 

He turns and runs to Sam and the other guys, leaving her standing in the rain, soaked and alone, her stomach in knots. The chatter is back, the self-doubt, louder than ever now; if they could both do this, both leave her so easily, would she ever be enough for anyone?

She’s not sitting around her house moping about this, not again. She did that with Edward and it got her absolutely nowhere, so this time she resolves to just skip to the front of the line. She packs a bag for the trail and goes hiking, plans to take a long path deep into the woods, away from the bear attacks or whatever’s going on out there. Her dad would have her head if she walked headfirst into danger, and she knows better, anyway, isn’t going to actually risk her life just to get Rocky Mountain high. 

She hadn’t planned on risking her life, anyway, but how was she to know the formerly peaceful Laurent was back in Forks, red eyes and all, and that he was working with Victoria? That wasn’t on her supernatural drama bingo card, that’s for damn sure. 

She listens to him do the villain rambling for a moment, but irritation wins out over fear and she loses her temper, slips up and says that Edward is gone and he’s not coming back, and if he wants to kill her, well no one’s stopping him! 

He looks amused by her outburst, but the smile melts off of his face when an enormous black wolf steps out of the trees, followed by several others of all shades, shapes, sizes. She doesn’t get a chance to count them, just runs like hell in the other direction, but when she risks a look back they are going after Laurent with a precision she wouldn’t expect from wild animals just looking for dinner. 

She tells no one about the wolves—who would believe her anyway?—just runs back to her truck until she’s breathless, goes home and takes a steaming hot shower to rinse away the cold clamminess of his touch. She makes a cup of tea and changes into a t-shirt, a pair of shorts, then parks herself on the couch with her laptop for the rest of the night. 

Until the knock at the door that comes around 1 AM. 

It’s Jacob, and she’s so happy to see him that she forgets all about her day up until that point and wraps her arms around him, hugs him where he stands in the doorway. He hugs back, thank god, his embrace tight and warm and comforting, and then she ushers him in, offers to make more tea while they talk. 

“About the other day,” she begins, filling the electric kettle with water and plugging it in, but he cuts her off, panicked. 

“I wish I could explain,” he says, and he’s almost got those puppy dog eyes that always get him his way; he doesn’t even do it on purpose, just looks like that, and it’s incredibly hard to resist. “But I literally can’t.” 

“No, I know, I… I mean, I think I know.” She has a box of tea in her hand and she’s gesturing a bit wildly with it, so she sets it on the counter, walks closer to him, so there’s about a foot of space between them. “First rule of fight club is you can’t talk about fight club—wait, it’s not an actual fight club, right? Because you’d dominate.” 

He laughs, a real one, with his head thrown back, and she all but grins. There he is. Her Jacob. 

“No, it’s not a fight club, but you’re right. I can’t talk about it, I can’t tell you anything.” His tone of voice hurts her, because it’s clear this is something he wants, needs to share; she moves closer, eyes on his.

“And what if I guess? Is that against the rules?” He shakes his head fervently, rests his palm on the counter beside him.

“No, no—in fact, that’s exactly what I need you to do. Sam can’t stop you, and I know you, you’re smart, won’t stop until you figure it out.”  He reaches out with his other hand, tentatively, and links their fingers together like he did at the movies; when he brings their hands up to his chest, this time, she doesn’t pull away. “It would be so much easier if you knew.”

His face is so soft but so serious, his brow furrowed, and she squeezes his hand.

“I’m going to feel really silly if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am. I’ve been working on it all night.” With her free hand, she pulls her phone out of her pocket, shows him the same screen she has up on her laptop in the other room. It’s a list of all the facts she has, her own speculation, and finally, in size 42 font, one very important eight-letter word. “You said before that Sam was collecting disciples—a pack of them, Jacob, right?” 

“Yes. Fuck,” he breathes, and though she’s heard him say it in the garage many times, this one is special because it means she’s right. He slides down to a seat on the tile floor, looks so relieved it makes her chest feel tight, and she kneels in front of him, hands on his bare shoulders. 

“You’re a werewolf, Jake, just like the legend—your tribe is descended from wolves. Tell me I’m wrong.” 

He doesn’t say a word, and at first she’s afraid she is incorrect, but then he reaches out and pulls her close, crushes her to his body. He breathes hard into her hair, holds her tightly, and she can’t help it, she cries, hot tears leaving tracks down her cheeks.

He brings his hands there after a moment, wipes the tears away with his thumbs, then holds her face like she’s something precious, lips turning up into a half-smile.

“Thank you. I knew you could do it.” He tips forward, presses their foreheads together, moves his hands to her waist. “You don’t know how badly I wanted you to know.”

“Oh, Jake. I’m sorry—I should have caught on faster. It’s obvious, when you put everything together, when you… You know. When you’ve seen what I’ve seen.” He nods his head and swallows, presses his fingertips into her side. She shifts closer, or he does, maybe they both do, so their breath mixes between them, soft and warm.

“It’s okay, you’re here now. You’re here, it's okay,” he repeats, and she pushes fingers through his hair, softer now that it’s dry. 

“I’m here, and I don’t have to stay away.”

They don’t quite kiss, because she’s still nervous, maybe even more so now—they were so close to being separated, and now that he’s back in her life, in her house, she doesn’t want to risk breaking this delicate, fragile thing between them. His mouth just brushes over hers, more a swipe than a press of lips, and she turns her head so the rest of it catches her cheek instead. 

He sighs, but he’s not upset, and he lifts a hand to smooth through her hair before dropping it altogether. 

“I should go,” he says, but she can’t bear the thought of losing him again already. She stands when he does, takes his hand the way he did before. 

“Can you stay the night? Please?” She squeezes his fingers, tries her hand at her own version of those sad puppy eyes. “I understand if you can’t, but I’d feel… I want you to,” she’s clear to say, and eventually, he nods. 

She makes up a bed for him on the sofa, intends to head upstairs when he’s comfortable; she doesn’t know what stops her, but she stretches out on the other end of the couch instead and they put on a movie, something black and white, volume low. She couldn’t say for sure who’s the first to fall asleep.

She’s the first to wake up, so she takes a quick shower, does some work, brews some coffee. He’ll probably head out the moment his feet hit the floor, so she prepares herself for that—she just hopes that the rest of his pack knows he’s there, that they aren’t worried, or frantically searching the preserve for signs of him like she would be. 

She asks him that when he pads into the kitchen an hour later, eyes sleepy, bedhead evident, and he pours a cup of coffee and sits across from her at the table. 

“Nah, they knew I was coming,” he assures with a sip. “They know by now that if they can’t find me, I’m probably here with you.” That makes her smile, though she looks down into her mug and tries not to show it. He takes a few more quick gulps despite the temperature and sets down his empty cup with a smack of his lips. “Speaking of the pack, I think you should meet them. We gather at Emily’s—that’s Sam’s fiancee—sometimes, and they’ll be there today.”

“Will they be angry that I figured it out?” she asks, genuinely curious. She wants to meet them, wants to know more about the group of guys Jacob is now supernaturally entangled with, but she’s not so sure a house of angry werewolves is somewhere she’s ready to be so soon after her last brush with death. He breathes a laugh and shakes his head. 

“They won’t be angry. They’ll probably be irritated with me, because I couldn’t just let you go…” Their eyes meet, and she thinks of reaching out to touch his hand across the table, though she doesn’t in the end. “But as for you, they’ll probably just be impressed.”

The pack is both impressed by her and slightly irritated with Jacob, but stern glances and eye rolls quickly turn to laughter and playful shoving, as they pile into Emily’s small but cozy kitchen and make introductions around a batch of fresh muffins.

She gets official confirmation on things she’d only read about—like their ability to hear each other’s thoughts when shifted, the accelerated healing, their speed, their power—right from the wolves' mouths, and they learn from her too, everything she knows about vampires like Laurent and Victoria. She doesn’t talk much about the Cullens, mostly because their secrets are not hers to tell, but she can see Jacob’s brain working as she mentions Victoria’s vendetta, as she shows the group the pale, silvery bite mark on her arm. 

“If she’s here, she’s here for me,” she tells them, and Jake tenses, his jaw tight, veins visible, shoots Sam a look that conveys they have a lot to talk about when she’s not around. 

Later, she suggests to Jacob that he take a walk with her, because she can tell how all of those stories have put him on edge. Together they amble slowly toward the beach, close but not touching, and this time she does take his hand, leans in so their forearms brush. 

“It’ll be okay,” she murmurs, tilting her head to look up at him. “You guys are strong, fast. You took down Laurent—I have no doubts you’ll get her too.” 

“Before she hurts you?” he says, staring ahead, voice rough because he’s been mostly silent all day, listening closely to her and taking everything in. “Because if she does…” 

“She won’t. The others are watching her,” she says, hoping like hell that’s still true, “and even if she finds me… I trust you to protect me.” He stops there, on the wet sand, and she turns toward him so she can see his expression, to get a better idea of what’s on his mind. 

“If they come back, I’m not allowed to fight on their land—I’d be breaking the treaty,” he says with a pained look. She understands the words he’s not saying: if they come back, I wouldn’t be able to protect you in your own home.

“They’re not coming back,” she whispers, because she can’t say the words any louder than that, even though they’re true.  “He made his choice, and that’s—that’s okay.” 

“Is it?” Jacob asks, leaning in, and she gets it, gets why; she hasn’t exactly been positive about Edward’s departure, how his choice affected her, took his family away from her too, and now suddenly she’s okay with it?

It isn’t sudden, though, not really. It’s been a gradual acceptance, something she’s been coming to terms with since the day he left. She knows Edward’s decision wasn’t made easily; she knows he didn’t leave because he didn’t love her, but because he loved her so much he put aside his feelings for her and did what he thought was right. 

He went about it all the wrong way, removing every trace of himself from her life, banning his family from communicating with her, taking her choices away, but in the end his heart was in the right place, and she’s found a way to respect that, despite everything. 

Maybe it’s just Jacob. He brought her out of her post-breakup shell, made her smile again, laugh again, feel important and wanted and cared for. Maybe he filled in the cracks of her broken heart so she could use it again, without the need for exhilaration and adrenaline to cover up the pain of what she’s lost; maybe it’s just Jacob, bright like the sun they so seldom see, special and rare and wild. 

“It’s okay,” she assures him, voice steady with her conviction. She raises their conjoined hands and presses her lips to his knuckles, just briefly, before dropping them back to her side. 

Jake nods, accepts her answer, and they walk further along the beach until the sun goes down in a hazy blend of blue and orange and red.

He offers to drive her home, and even though it’s impractical, and she’d usually put up a fight, she wants that extra time with him. Wants to be that close to him. She sits in the middle of the bench seat, neither up against him nor really on the passenger’s side, but close enough for Jake to throw an arm across her shoulders, and they listen to the radio and talk about his pack while cruising down the road. 

“I better go,” he murmurs before she can even unlock her front door, and she tries not to let her face fall; she’d been hoping he’d stay over again, or come inside for a little bit, at least. 

She must fail at controlling her expression, because Jacob smiles softly, like he’s pleased with himself, and leans in, brushing his fingers over the line of her jaw. 

“We’re patrolling tonight—got a vampire to kill. But I’ll call you tomorrow?” 

She nods beneath his touch, and he pulls back and turns to leave, jogging down the street and toward the forest that’ll lead him back to La Push.

He does call the next day, but it’s brief; Victoria’s back, just as Sam expected, so they’re running all night, all day, trying to catch her off guard, taking breaks only to eat and sleep when they absolutely have to. Jacob promises to check in when he can, but after three days with no contact—and a voicemail from her father about locals spotting wolves in the woods—she’s on edge again, less concerned for her own safety, more worried about Jake’s. 

She’s an absolute idiot for doing it—going to the beach, to the tall cliffs that loom over it—but she needs the rush again, doesn’t feel right when it’s just her own troubled voice in her head. She needs to hear the purr of an engine, the hum of a plane, the crashing of pure, white water against rocks… or maybe Jacob’s heartbeat. But the cliffs are the simple option at the moment, and all she can think about until she’s actually there, looking out over the ocean, the gritty scents of sand and salt in her nose. 

She takes several deep, long breaths. That’s the key to these things that bring her so much excitement—using all of her senses, so she’s not just herself but everything around her too. She needs to see the sun on the horizon, taste the spray of seawater and clean, crisp air. She needs to smell the damp earth, touch the frothy bubbles that lap at the shore, hear…

She hears a wolf, actually, howling solemnly in the distance, but doesn’t register the sound until after she’s already jumped. 

The waves are choppier than they’d appeared when she was looking down at them, and it knocks the breath out of her lungs when they crash into her body, pulling her down into the dark vastness of the icy sea. Her arms and legs move instinctively, fighting to bring her back to the surface, but the water is deep and heavy and she’s already so tired of trying. 

She’s so cold all she can feel is cold, her teeth chattering, so even when she hits her head on a boulder and it starts to bleed, she doesn’t realize what’s happened until everything turns black.

She’s warmer, suddenly, that’s all she knows, though the ground beneath her back is rocky and wet, uncomfortable. She thinks maybe it’s a blanket that feels so warm, but quickly realizes it’s Jacob above her, soaked to his bones, a sigh of relief passing his lips. 

“Oh thank god. Can you hear me?” He cradles the back of her head in his palm and helps her sit up, then presses his fingers tenderly to the sore bump beneath her hair. “Your head’s not that bad, but I bet it hurts.” 

“Hmm. Hurts,” she mumbles, her throat raw, temples throbbing. She’s cold and tired and thirsty, but ashamed above all else; maybe she really does need someone making the decisions for her, if this is the kind of stupidity she gets up to when she’s alone. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” he answers quickly, and he runs his hands over her arms and legs, her neck, her face, checking for further injury. “I’m just glad you’re alright. The waves are bad today; you could have been swept away.” 

“I didn’t realize that until it was too late,” she admits sheepishly, and when he brings her closer she rests her cheek against his chest, feels tears stinging her already tired eyes. “I’m sorry, Jacob.” 

“It’s okay, I’m here. It’s okay.” His voice is as soft as his hands as they curve around her, holding her against him, and they sit like that for a couple minutes, until Sam runs over and tells him to get her home. 

He drives again, but this time she’s even more grateful, because there’s no way she could have done it herself. She feels so much at once—dumb and scared and childish, but also brave and calm, while somehow her mind races with thoughts of the wolves howling and Jacob’s hands in her hair. Her focus is shot, and even though she’s wrapped in one of Jake’s thick, fleece lined hoodies, she trembles, heavy and cold, as she peers out the passenger side window, watching the trees go by.

“Hundred and eight degrees over here,” Jacob says eventually, with a half smile, and she blinks for a moment before giving in; with a sigh, she scoots closer, wraps an arm around his waist. She can feel the heat of his body even through the layers they wear, and she shivers involuntarily at the pleasant but abrupt change in temperature.

“You still want me this close? Not afraid the bad decisions will rub off onto you?” It’s a joke, a self-deprecating one, and an apology all bundled together. “What I did was stupid, I know. I could have gotten really hurt, and you should have been out there with the pack, with Harry, not saving me.” 

He tilts his head, leans closer so his cheek rests against her hair.

“Well it wasn’t smart, but we all have our moments. And you couldn’t have known about Harry—don’t be too hard on yourself.” A long beat of silence passes, and she turns toward him, pressing her icy nose to his neck with another sigh.

“Mmm. You’re so warm. It must be nice, never getting cold.” 

“It’s a wolf thing,” he says with a shrug, but it’s not, not really, and she can’t let that stand. 

“Maybe, but trust me, it’s a Jacob thing too. You’ve always been warm.” She just sits there, breathes him in, lets him warm her hands and nose, so content she almost doesn’t notice when he pulls up in front of her house.

“This is better. Now that you know about me,” he says, tipping his face down, after he turns off the truck. She pulls back just enough to look into his eyes, to try to gauge his intent.

“But?” He swallows hard, looks away for a moment before returning to her face.

“You saw what happened to Emily. Sam got angry, lost it for a split second, and Em was standing too close. He’ll never be able to take that back.” He shakes his head, as if imagining the two of them in the same situation. What he could do to her. What she would think of him. “What if I get mad and I hurt you?” 

“You’re new to this—even if you are a natural,” she says, remembering a comment Embry had made when they’d last spoken. “You’ll learn how to control it, how to read the warning signs, and you’ll either stop yourself from turning or get somewhere safe. We’ll be okay,” she promises, resting her hand soothingly against his neck, and he sighs softly.

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m gonna disappear. Like one day it will be all wolf and no Jake.” He leans in, close enough that their noses just barely brush, and the way he looks down at her is something like… 

Yearning, she thinks to herself after a beat. It’s a powerful emotion, but she’s never seen it look quite so beautiful before. 

“You’re not going to lose yourself. I won’t let that happen.” 

“How?” he asks, bringing a hand up to cover hers, and she wets her lips, shakes her head to clear it; it’s swimming again, in this small space, so very close to him—especially when he’s looking at her like that.

“I’ll tell you all the time… how special you are to me.” She looks up, feels like she’s showing her soul to him, like this incident has stripped her down to bare bones and she’s letting him see her, once and for all. He stares into her eyes for a long moment, then leans in slowly, tentatively, and this time she doesn’t stop herself from meeting him in the middle, from pressing her mouth to his. 

She can actually feel the relief wash over him when she doesn’t reject his kiss, like he’s been tightly coiled and tense and can finally relax because she wants the same things, feels the same way.

She expects his lips to be warm, soft, but he is scorching against her skin, even more so when he moves his hand to her cheek in a gentle caress. With the palm against his hip, she pushes up his t-shirt, gets her fingers on his body, and they both gasp softly into the kiss, deepen it. 

“Jacob,” she sighs when they part for air; he seems okay, if a little shaky, but she feels flushed, eager, almost vibrating with the need to keep kissing him. She wants more, even though her throat burns like the last time his lips touched hers, when he forced the water out of her lungs and saved her life. 

That’s what he does best, her Jacob—like a flicker in the dark, he always pulls her away from the dangers of her own making and brings her back into the light.

“Is this real?” he asks, his breath a ghost on her lips; his other hand, on her lower back, pulls her closer to his body, and she turns her head and kisses the palm resting on her cheek. 

They kiss again, hands a bit less careful, hers sliding up his back, his weaving into her hair to control the tilt of her head. She gives in to it all, lets him set the pace, gripping him like a life preserver and letting his heat warm her from the inside out. She feels like she can’t get possibly close enough, wants to be pressed skin to skin, but she settles for sliding into his lap, ducking her head so she doesn’t hit it on the metal roof of the truck. 

He groans as she twists fingers into his hair, as she pulls him into her and feels the long, hard line of his body against hers. She kisses faster, harder, and he matches her fervor, wraps an arm around her waist and catches her chin with tight fingers. 

They kiss for a long time, and the cabin heats, windows fogging up as they share breath and saliva, as they murmur each other’s names like prayer. Her lips are red and raw when she finally needs to pause, and she rests her head against his chest and listens to the thunderous, wild beating of his heart. 

“Will you stay the night? Please?” she asks, voice a little broken—rough with need, and soreness from nearly drowning, and breathlessness caused by the most intense kiss of her entire life. 

Jacob nods, and he sets her carefully back on the seat, removes the keys from the ignition and climbs out of the truck. She slides out behind him, and he closes the door, takes her hand in his just like she did on the beach.

He locks the front door behind them when they’re finally inside—as if that will stop anyone we need to worry about, she teases with a soft laugh—and she takes the lead, walks up the stairs toward her bedroom with Jacob trailing behind. 

Despite his surreal body heat and the thick, warm sweatshirt he’d given her to wear, she’s still cold down to her bones, and wet like a drowned rat, so she pulls off her shoes and socks and sets them down by the radiator. Jacob watches her every move from a couple steps away, eyes lingering as she shrugs out of his hoodie, then pulls her damp sweater over her head. 

There’s nothing sexy or seductive about it, it’s not a striptease by any means, but he doesn’t look away when she’s down to her bra, and she doesn’t want him to. He bends down to take off his boots, to line them up next to hers, then bridges the distance between them and leans in for a deep, slow kiss. 

It’s not long before they both sink down onto the bed, and her fingers slip open the button of her jeans, then hesitate, wait at the button of his. She looks up at him, and the confirmation is all but written there, in the darkness of his eyes, the swipe of his tongue over his lips, but she needs to be sure. 

“I want you, all of you,” she murmurs, and then she brushes a hand through his hair, leans in to just rest her mouth against his. It’s delicate like the first time, but full of meaning, and he presses up into her kiss. “Do you want this?” 

“I want this. You. All—all of you.” He nods, licks his lips again, eyes softer but no less hungry, and she flicks open the button and kisses him like she did in the truck: hands on his body, in his hair, her breath all his. 

They don’t part, not really, just fall back against the pillows and tug at clothing, pressing kisses to throats and palms. His t-shirt drops to the bedroom floor, then her jeans and underwear, his, and the room is quiet except for the sounds of eager, wet kisses and soft, needy moans. 

She sits up, reaches back to unclasp her bra, and Jacob drags the strap down her shoulder, helps her take it off, leaving it somewhere in the bed; his mouth moves to hers, then down her neck, over her collarbone, and finally caresses each nipple with a gentle reverence that makes her ache all over.  

“You’re still sure?” he asks when she is shaking beneath his touch, strong arms wrapped around her back, and she nods and shifts up into his lap. 

When their lips meet, the kiss is hard, and she curls an arm around his shoulders, weaving a hand into his hair. They’re both panting when she leans up, guides him inside her, and when she sinks down it’s like a flash of tingling heat takes over her entire body. 

Jacob groans, holding her securely, thrusting up as she works her thighs above him. They kiss, deep and messy, graceless but passionate, her fingers tugging, his pressing hard into her skin. 

It’s not at all how she’d expected her first time to be; she’d imagined it would be with Edward, of course, and slow, but she can’t get enough of Jacob and it seems like he can’t get enough of her either. She’d imagined a cool, pale body above her, but it’s Jacob’s deep, rich, hot skin she presses her lips to, her fingernails against. She’d expected Edward’s hard, marble arms around her, and while Jacob is strong and firm he’s still soft, skin slick with sweat as they move together. 

“Jake,” she murmurs, the taste of him on her lips, his scent in her nose, woodsy, clean. “Jacob.” Her body trembles and he holds her tighter, presses his face into her neck. 

“I’ve got you.” She sighs happily at that, grabs his hair more roughly, rides him faster. 

“You’ve got me. You’ve always got me.” 

Jacob looks up at her, eyes fiery, liquid, then pulls her in with a hand on the back of her neck and kisses her like the first time—soft, nervous, sweet. The juxtaposition of that gentle kiss and his possessive grip makes her dizzy, and when he pulls back his face is all she can see, all she wants to see, all she needs.

“I’ve always got you,” he promises, his gaze tender, unflinching. “Always.”

He’s got her when he comes, holding her tightly with one thick forearm and dragging his free hand over her breasts, then lower, to rub her clit as she bounces herself to climax in his grasp. “Oh, god,” she breathes, voice like a shiver, and her fingernails dig half-moons into his biceps as they both slow, slow, slow, then stop altogether.

He eases them both down against the bed, arms around her, their legs entwined, and they catch their breath, just look at each other until the exhaustion of the day catches up to her. Her eyes flutter closed, and pressed so close to him, so warm, all she can do is sleep.

When she wakes, it’s still mostly dark, and she desperately needs to clean up in the bathroom and get a glass of water. Jacob’s t-shirt is the first piece of clothing she sees—or the first she wants to see—and she pulls it over her head and pads to the bathroom for a human moment—a very human moment indeed. 

She pauses, while washing her hands, to look over her reflection in the mirror. Rationally, she knows nothing has really changed, but at the same time everything has. 

The bathroom water is never cold enough to drink, so she treads down the stairs, across the kitchen, turns on the tap and lets it run until the water is icy and crisp. She fills a glass, takes a couple of sips, then almost drops it when a cool hand is suddenly pressed to her shoulder. 

It’s Alice, and she uses her other hand to catch the glass before it can hit the floor and shatter. 

“Relax. It’s just me.” Her eyes are soft, and it’s clear she is happy to see her, but there’s something else in her expression, something inquisitive. “You’re alright.”

“I’m fine. I’m… good, actually.” She shrugs, which bares her shoulder, in the large t-shirt she wears, that she’d forgotten she was wearing. She freezes—she knows how she must smell to Alice, like Jacob and like… Jacob—but her friend just shakes her head. 

“I couldn’t see you; well, I saw you jump off a cliff, and then you were gone. I thought you died.” 

“Alive and well,” she says with a tone that’s hoping for lighthearted, but… 

She has no regrets about being with Jacob, not one—she just hadn’t expected to be confronted with a vampire she once considered a sister almost immediately after. She doesn’t know what to say right now, how to act. Who to be.

“I was cliff jumping, recreationally. It was fun... for a minute.” Alice rolls her eyes, but it’s clear she’s happy she’s unharmed—though perhaps irritated by her tendency toward life-threatening idiocy.

“That doesn’t explain why I couldn’t see you, why your whole future went black.” Her golden eyes stare seriously, unblinking for a moment, and then she looks away. “Though maybe I owe that to the wolf in your bed.” 

Of all the nights for Alice to come back to Forks, she thinks, a suddenly uncomfortable pit in her stomach. Then she hears footsteps on the stairs.

“Not in her bed anymore,” Jacob says, voice low, from the doorway to the kitchen; he takes half a step forward, an aborted move, like he wants to put himself in between them. 

“This is Alice, Edward’s sister. Alice, this is Jacob,” she explains, trying not to focus on his shirtless torso, or the pained expression on his face. She blows out a deep breath. “It’s okay. She won’t hurt me.” 

“She’s hurt you before,” he counters, no doubt remembering every heartbroken, aching expression she’d worn in the months prior. He takes a step closer, so he is next to her, his forearm grazing hers, and Alice takes a step back. “I’d like to stick around, if it’s all the same to you.” 

He’s posturing, that much is clear, but she can't find it in herself to be irritated, because at least he’s giving her the option, letting her choose.

“I thought you couldn’t protect me here,” she says, turning her face up to look at him, and Jacob’s response makes heat pool low in her belly, just like the night before. 

“There is nowhere in this world I won’t protect you—treaty or no treaty.” 

She wants so badly to kiss him, but Alice is there, Alice, right in front of her after all this time, and she’s conflicted. Torn. He can tell, she knows, but he doesn’t take it personally, just reaches up to scratch his head, sighs. 

“So are more of you coming? Is–is he…?” 

“I came alone. And no,” Alice replies after a moment, but she’s looking at her instead, probably knows that he’s just saying what she’s too worried to ask. “He only calls in once every few months. Says he wants to be alone.” Jacob scoffs.

“Great. He wants to be alone, so you all leave her behind, unprotected? That red headed vampire is after her because of him.” 

That gets a reaction out of Alice, whose eyes darken protectively.

“Who, Victoria? I haven’t seen her.” She stares off into the distance, like she’s searching for memories, visions, sifting through what she’s seen and trying to piece together what she hasn’t. “Just like I didn’t see you get pulled out of the water. There’s a lot I haven’t seen, apparently,” she adds under her breath, and the other girl presses her lips together, sighs. 

Not the time or place for this discussion, and they both know it, but that doesn’t mean it’s avoidable for long. 

“So you can’t see around Jacob. The wolves,” she guesses. “I’ve been with them a lot lately.”

“With him a lot lately,” Alice corrects. Jacob huffs, but it’s not untrue, so she lets her think what she wants. Her silence must speak volumes, because Alice takes a deep, wholly unnecessary breath, and gestures toward the door. “Should I go?” 

“Please don’t,” she says quickly, nearly begging. It’s the first she’s seen of Alice in almost a year and she cannot let her leave as abruptly as she’d shown up. “If you could just give us a minute…” 

“Take two,” the vampire says, and it’s with a half-smile that turns into a smirk. “I’ll go Febreze the living room while I wait: it smells like wet dog.” She turns to leave, a bounce in her step that the other girl can’t help laughing at, shaking her head. 

She sobers up when Jacob turns toward her, takes a step that moves the both of them, so her back is pressed up against the kitchen counter. He looks so serious, and her heart beats for him everywhere. 

“Do you believe her? When she says she came alone?” he asks, and she tilts her head, nods softly. 

“Of course I believe her. She just had to make sure I was okay, that’s all. There’s… there’s nothing for them here.” 

Even as she says the words, she hopes they’re not true—hopes that, even if they really aren’t meant to be together, that she and Edward, she and the Cullens, can still be… Friends isn’t really a strong enough word, but she wants them in her life, potential bloody accidents be damned. 

“So if he came back,” Jacob says, leaning in closer, his lips hovering over hers, “you wouldn’t go to him?” His tone is light, but she understands the weight of his question, takes a moment to find the right words to answer it. 

“If he came back, I’d want to see him. Just like I want to see Alice.” She reaches out to touch him, his warm, bare skin, places her palm over his thumping heart. “But I wouldn’t go to him. Not like this.” 

It’s true, and she wants to say more, to promise him, reassure him, but just after she says it, the landline rings. Jacob sighs, his breath on her cheek, and reaches out a hand to answer it. “Hello?” The person on the other end speaks in a low tone she can’t make out, but she can see the tick in Jacob’s jaw, a hard set to his eyes. “He isn’t here right now, but that’s not who you really want, is it?” 

There’s another moment of conversation she can’t hear, and Alice walks into the room looking stunned; Jacob hands the other girl the receiver, and she looks from him to Alice and then speaks into the phone. “Hello?” 

“You’re alright.” 

It’s Edward, his voice cool and smooth but thick with emotion. It makes butterflies flutter around in her stomach, just like it used to. 

“I’m alright.” She doesn’t give him more than he asks for, doesn’t take more than he offers. She’s aware of two sets of eyes on her, feels more nervous than before, in her oversized t-shirt and sleep-mussed hair.

She’s glad he can’t see her and wonders exactly what that means.

“Good. Rosalie said Alice had a vision…” He trails off, but they both know what he’s not saying: everyone thought she’d given up and killed herself. She crosses her arms.

“The vision was incomplete. I’m fine. Stupid, but fine.” Edward huffs a laugh down the line, and she can imagine the exact cant of his mouth, the glimmer in his eye that always seemed to be reserved for her.

“You are many things, but stupid is not one of them.” There’s more he wants to say, she can tell; as a man of few words, many of their conversations were punctuated with heavy, meaningful silence. Part of her wishes she could see his face, at least. That always helped. “Who answered the phone? Jacob?”

She looks up at him involuntarily, notes the tightness of his mouth, his arms folded in front of his bare chest. 

“Yes, Jacob. He’s the one who pulled me out of the water, the one Alice didn’t see.” 

“Hmm. He still doesn’t seem to like me much.” Her lips turn up at that—understatement of the century—and she wonders if Jake can hear him too. Based on the stoic expression he wears, he either can’t, or he’s not paying attention. 

“No he does not.” A beat passes, then two. “You should call your family more often, go see them. They miss you.” 

“It’s difficult,” he says, swallowing, and she nods at no one. 

“I know, but don’t punish them. Please.” She knows how it feels, to be totally cut off from people she loves, to constantly wonder, always fear the worst; she doesn’t say it because she knows he knows.

“I’ll consider it, if you don’t go jumping off those cliffs any time soon.” She laughs softly, surprised at his humor; this was not how she would have ever anticipated a call like this to go, but she likes it. Likes them, like this. 

“Deal. Alice is looking at me like she’s going to steal the phone any moment,” she warns, which is putting it mildly. “So I’m going to put her on. You can call when it’s not life or death, you know,” she adds quietly. “It would be nice to hear from you. If you ever want to talk.” 

She doesn’t know if he responds, because Alice takes the receiver, winds the cord around her arm, and scolds her brother with love in the way only a sister can manage. 

While they talk, she walks toward Jacob, then past him, toward the staircase, but she takes hold of his hand as she goes, and he follows just like the night before. This time, he closes the bedroom door behind them. 

“I’m sorry this happened like this,” she says, sitting down on the bed, one leg beneath her and the other hanging over the edge. “I’m not sorry Alice is here, but I’m sorry that’s what you woke up to. If you were… worried.” Jacob takes the space next to her atop the rumpled duvet. 

“I was worried when I smelled a bloodsu- vampire,” he corrects quickly, “and you weren’t beside me.”

“I’m sorry,” she says again, this time leaning closer. “But thank you for giving me the phone, letting me talk to him. I’m sure that wasn’t easy.” He shrugs, like it was no big deal, even though she remembers how angry he’d looked at the sound of Edward’s voice. 

“I almost didn’t. I mean, technically, he didn’t ask for you.” She rolls her eyes—definitely guy logic—then stands up, scoops his jeans off the floor and hands them over to him. Her face heats at the memory of removing them in the first place, but she snaps out of that for her own sake and grabs fresh clothes, steps into the bathroom to make herself presentable.

When she’s done, she heads back to her bedroom, where Jacob is now clad in jeans and boots, sitting shirtless on her bed. She deposits the borrowed t-shirt onto his lap, and when he thinks she’s not looking he brings it to his nose, inhales long and slow, before pulling it over his head.

That action does things to her, and she wishes for a moment that she had his senses, so she could smell the two of them the same way he does, their scents deeply saturated and blended together.

They head downstairs when they’re both dressed, and while he rummages in the refrigerator for something to make them for breakfast, she treads into the living room and sits down next to Alice on the couch. 

“So,” Alice says, and then she gestures to a cup of tea. The other girl picks up the mug and thanks her, brings it to her lips. “How long has that been going on?” 

She feels her cheeks heat, and she hides behind another sip of tea. 

“Really? I haven’t seen you in almost a year and that’s what you want to talk about?” 

“Oh, forgive me for being curious about what it’s like to date a werewolf when last I saw you were grieving the loss of my brother.” Alice’s tone is more playful than it would seem, and her eyes smile even if her lips don’t. 

She always knew that Edward wasn’t telling the truth when he said he didn’t want her. He just couldn’t bear it, knowing that being with him put her in so much danger, caused her so much pain. She knew it was worth it, but if he didn’t… there’s nothing she could have done to change his mind, she knows that now. She can’t feel guilty for moving on when it’s exactly what he’d wanted her to do in the first place. 

“Okay, you’re right. Let’s talk about how I’m going to comb the woods, find Victoria, and rip her into confetti for threatening to hurt you.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” Jacob says, walking into the room with… a cup of tea. He looks over at the mug in her hand, then sets the one he brought her down on the table without a word. “The pack’s got it covered.” 

“All due respect, but if the pack had it covered, she wouldn’t be a threat anymore, would she?” Alice tosses over her shoulder. The other girl sets her tea down and sighs. 

“Alright, can we not do this? The age-old vampires versus werewolves thing? Especially if I’m in the middle of it. Maybe you guys could work together for a change; Alice can’t protect this part of the territory all by herself.” She picks up her drink—a drink, the one Jacob made, this time—and takes a long sip, looks up at them over the rim of the mug. 

“The pack could help, if you give us the authority to amend the treaty,” Jacob says to Alice, though he’s kind of looking at the ceiling, his arms crossed. “But wherever she is, I’ll be.” 

“You can’t be with her every second,” Alice counters, and her exasperation makes it  sound like an argument she’s had before. “It’s not good for either of you and could put her in danger; if Victoria picks up on it, she’ll be able to use your scent to track her anywhere. Trust me, yours is a lot stronger than hers is, and it’s all over her.” 

She thinks Jacob makes some kind of noise, like a low growl in the very back of his throat, but it’s hard to hear. Alice raises her eyebrows like she’s trying not to roll her eyes. 

The three of them discuss potential ways to coordinate with the pack, and Alice mentions calling in Emmett and Jasper to see if they could help with the search; the sooner Victoria is gone, the better, is the general consensus, and Jacob thinks he can get Sam on board with that as well, even if it means more Cullens coming back to town. 

She finishes both cups of tea, then a plate of eggs and toast Jacob put together from the bare-bones contents of her kitchen—she reminds herself to make a shopping list, then absently wonders if she’ll have a grand escort to Trader Joe’s. 

“I’ll make some calls while you’re gone,” Alice says as she is taking her last bite; she looks up from her plate, confused, and Alice waves a hand. “I saw a glimpse of you at the grocery store, but then it went dark; I assume that means he’s going with you.”

“I thought about it for a split second, as a joke,” she clarifies with a huff of laughter. “I don’t think I need a bodyguard in the produce aisle at eight AM.”

“Better safe than sorry,” Alice and Jacob say, at the same time, and her lips twitch in amusement. 

Looks like they’re not so different, in the end.

She gives in and allows Jacob to drive her to the supermarket, though not without a long look from Alice as he walks her to the truck with his hand on the small of her back. 

They breeze through the store thanks to the list in her head—she buys a little more than she usually would, because it seems like Jacob plans to be around. She likes the thought of that even more than she’d expected, likes choosing things solely because she knows he’ll enjoy them.

“I think we should talk about last night,” Jacob says, voice low, when they’re nearly back to her house. She cringes internally, because that’s never a sentence a girl wants to hear after a night like that, and he clears his throat. “I know cliff jumping ended up being kind of traumatic for you, and it didn’t feel like it last night, but if I took advantage…”

He looks over at her, his expression pained, and she shifts closer and wraps her hand around his forearm.

“God, no, Jake—that’s not what happened.” He brings the truck to a stop in her driveway, puts it in park, and she presses her palm to his cheek so he’ll focus on her instead of fixing his gaze out the window. “I wanted everything, every moment. I still want it,” she murmurs, and he looks over her face like he’s still not quite sure he believes it.

“You do? Even after… after you spoke to him, and everything?” It’s a fair question, and again, one she answers very carefully.

“I think we needed to talk, he and I, but it didn’t change anything. You’re the one who changed everything,” she admits softly, tentatively, wetting her lips. She hopes her eyes convey the certainty her voice can’t seem to. “Do you want to kiss me?” she breathes, leaning closer, her fingers winding a path through his hair, and he nods his head and presses his mouth to hers. 

She gets up on her knees so she can be closer to him, but she doesn’t climb into his lap like before—she does have some self-restraint, despite what it may seem. She curls one arm around the muscles of his back, pulls him in for more contact with the hand in his hair, and it’s a few minutes later when she remembers they’ve got bags of perishable groceries in the back and a vampire with excellent acoustic abilities just inside her home. 

She pulls back, smiles a little at the soft, unfocused look on his face, then runs her hand down his chest before lifting it away entirely.

“I know we’re kind of at DEFCON 1 right now, but more of that a little later would be nice.” 

“Hmm. Very nice,” he agrees with a nod, his voice slightly rough, and he turns off the ignition and carries all of her groceries into the kitchen with one strong arm. 

Emmett and Jasper do come back, with Rosalie and Esme, to her delight and Jacob’s discomfort. Between the pack, who comes to get the vampires’ scents so there’s no friendly fire, and the family, who split time between her house and the one they left behind, the place is a revolving door of the supernatural for the next few days. 

All of them take turns watching over her house at night, while the others patrol the woods. She catches up with everyone she’s been separated from—even Jasper gives her a crushing hug, so at least the time away was good for something—and it’s wonderful, but it means there’s not much time to be with Jacob aside from planning sessions and the occasional quick check in. The most time she spends with him is when they attend Harry’s funeral, something somber and intimate, with ethereal music and a glowing campfire and endless stories about the Clearwater line. 

She is introduced to Leah and Seth, Harry’s children, and while Seth seems welcoming and friendly his sister is cold, standoffish—though not without reason, she soon learns from the pack. 

“She’s not always like that… mostly just when she’s around Sam,” Embry says where they stand on the edge of the forest, away from the thick smoke that burns her very human eyes. She looks over at the pack leader at the mention of his name. “Now that she’s part of the pack, we have to live the Leah/Sam/Emily painfest all over again.” 

She turns back to him, to Quil, who’s standing beside him, and tilts her head, curious.

“I don’t think I follow—Sam left Leah for Emily?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s not what you think. He hates himself for hurting her, but he couldn’t help it. Emily was ‘the one.’” Quil says it almost sarcastically, with air quotes for emphasis, and she frowns.

“The one?” She doesn’t mean to sound skeptical, but these days she’s not as big a fan of providence and destiny as she used to be.

“Sam imprinted on Emily. It’s kind of like… soulmates, but bigger. Cosmic. They were literally meant to be together.”

“Like fate,” she says, filling in that blank, and then a large, warm hand is splayed across her back, fingertips pressing into the fabric of her dress. 

“We make our own fate around here,” Jacob says tightly, and she looks up, regards him curiously. He’s not just upset about Harry, or Victoria… there’s got to be something else making his jaw tense, his eyes hard. “And I think that’s more than enough of the pack soap opera for tonight. Are you ready to go home?” 

He turns his gaze to her, and it softens, for which she is grateful; he is her guardian on duty tonight, and despite the solemn evening—or maybe because of it—she wants to spend the night as close to him as she possibly can.

She nods, and after they say their goodbyes he walks her to the truck, opens the door for her, closing it carefully when she’s safely inside. He takes the spot behind the driver’s seat—his usual, now—but doesn’t drive straight to her house like she expects. 

“Ice cream?” she asks when he turns off the engine outside of a mom and pop shop selling sundaes, cones, and shakes. She exits the car at his indication, and the two of them walk hand in hand up to the illuminated window that says Order Here. An older couple is ahead of them, pointing at the chalk menu board, and Jacob leans in to speak in a hushed tone. 

“This place was Harry’s favorite. You like chocolate, right?” 

“Has anyone ever answered ‘no’ to that question?” she asks softly, playfully, and it works as intended, lightens the mood just enough to bring a brilliant smile to his painfully beautiful face. “I think this is a wonderful way to remember him, Jake.” She wraps a comforting arm around his, and Jacob nods, lips pressed together, eyes sad.

“Just kind of feels right.” 

He orders for them when it’s their turn, two waffle cones with two scoops of chocolate ice cream each, and they sit at a picnic table on the side of the building, eating their tributes with heavy hearts and looking up at the stars.

The ride home is quiet, contemplative, at least for her; by the time they arrive she has been running through thoughts of mortality, finality, how short life is and how very precious. 

These are all normal thoughts for a person to have, and certainly after a celebration of life like the one on the reservation tonight, but she thinks seriously for the first time about Jacob and his desperate need to protect her, the way he puts himself in danger—stupidly, recklessly, completely—every day to keep her safe.

When they’ve made it inside, she exhales deeply, looks up into earnest, curious eyes, and wraps her arms around him, presses close so she can bury her nose in his clothing.

She breathes him in long and slow, his usual scent of crisp air and rain and oak dulled by the smoke of the bonfire, and then his hands are in her hair, tipping her face up for a decadent, passionate kiss. 

God, how is he so good at this? she thinks as he sips at her lips, glides his own down the tender line of her throat. She sighs and grabs for his arms, something to ground her as her desire threatens to take over, to leave her a whimpering, begging mess beneath his hands. 

Jacob turns them so she’s got her back to the kitchen table, sets her on top of it, and she parts her knees for him, pulls him closer. Her fingers itch with the need to touch his skin, so she tugs at the hem of his shirt and gets her hands beneath it, skims them over the taut muscles of his bare back. 

“I can take it off,” he murmurs against her neck, and she nods breathlessly and helps him pull it over his head. His hands bracket her hips, palms flat on the table, and her arms curve up around his back, bringing him closer; she kisses him eagerly anywhere she can reach—his throat, shoulders, face, everywhere.

She whispers his name into his own skin, presses her lips to his biceps, scrapes her teeth over the lobe of his ear, and he shudders at her touch, tilts his head to look up at her, his eyes dark and almost… dangerous.

What does it say about her, that she finds that look so goddamn attractive?

“I’m sorry, I—I need a minute,” he says, panting through gritted teeth, and she lets her hands fall away, leaning back a little to give him space to breathe.

“Take all the time you need,” she assures him calmly, patiently. It’s the first time she’s ever seen his wolf so close to the surface, and she’s completely unafraid, would hold him and help him ride out the tension in his body if she thought he would let her. “It’s just us, Jake, just me and you.” 

“Just us,” he repeats, his fists clenching and unclenching, taking a long breath with his eyes closed. She breathes with him, has always found that helpful when she herself is overwhelmed, and after a few moments he presses closer and she runs a soothing hand over his chest. “I’m okay,” he says eventually, leaning in slowly for a kiss as though he’s afraid it will be rejected. She brings her hands to his face, deepens it, so it’s still soft and easy but with enough meaning behind it to convey her thoughts. 

“I know,” she murmurs, just to be certain he believes her. “You did so good; so good, Jake.” He nods, pulls back a little so he can look into her eyes. 

“It’s not that I can’t control it, I can, but…” He looks away for a moment, swipes his tongue over his lips. “The instincts are so strong and I don’t always want to fight them. Sometimes when I’m with you, I want to let the wolf win.” He says it like he’s ashamed, and she puts her arm around his shoulders and brings him down for another kiss, this one just a gentle press of mouths.

“I understand that more than you think I do.” His breath on her lips makes her crave more of his heat, but she knows it has to be slow now, or he’ll get too in his head and never let himself enjoy their night together. “I may not be supernaturally inclined, but sometimes making decisions with my body is all I want to do. Especially with you,” she adds, just a sigh between them, then touches their foreheads together. 

They stay like that for a moment, embracing in their own way, until he initiates a kiss that is so thorough it makes her toes curl. She brings her hands to his waist, guides him closer, and he rests a broad palm at the base of her throat and kisses her, again, and again, and again. 

Her arms curl around his body the second they separate for air, and he lifts her from the table, carries her up the stairs with an ease that makes her long for more frequent displays of his strength. 

Getting his clothes off is quick enough, since he’s already shirtless, and his hands are tender and gentle as he sweeps her hair away from her neck, pulls down the zipper of her dress, slides it off her bare shoulders. 

Neither of them bother to pull back the covers, simply lay back on the bed, her knees apart again, Jacob hovering between them and letting his eyes move over her like he’s committing her body to memory. It makes a wave of heat rush through her, and since tonight is less hurried she does the same, lingers over every curve of muscle, every sharp line of bone. He leans in, lays an arm behind her head, glides his lips over her jaw, her cheek, her mouth.

“I was right, before,” she says after another satisfying kiss, letting her fingers press into the flesh of his hips. He looks into her eyes, tilts his head curiously, and she smiles a little, can’t help herself. “You really are beautiful.” 

Jake breathes a laugh, even blushes a little, then kisses her until they’re both panting; her fingertips press harder when he pushes inside, then glide up his back to keep him close while the two of them move together. 

Jacob feels so different this way, is so much deeper, filling her in a way that makes it so she really can’t tell where she ends and he begins. He is heavy on top of her, but not uncomfortably so, and when her body shifts up the bed with every thrust it’s thrilling, incredible—she’s never felt so much in her life.

His face is serious, eyes focused, and she weaves her fingers into his hair and catches his lips in a kiss, moans into the end of it when he finds a spot inside of her that takes her breath away. 

“Oh, god, Jake.” He leans in for another kiss, deep and wet, nods against her lips. 

“You’re perfect—so perfect,” he huffs, breathless; he moves his hand to her hip, runs it over her stomach, then presses his palms to the bed and repeats his previous motion, over and over, her body coiling tight with pleasure. “Can’t believe I get this.” 

“We get this,” she corrects in a whisper, won’t let him think for one second that she’s not as completely in awe of him as he seems to be of her. She skims her nails over his lower back, his ass, tightens her thighs on either side of him and tips her head back just as he makes her come. “Don’t stop, Jake, please,” she whines, shaking, holding him so tightly with her entire body—she never wants it to end, never wants to be separated from him again, and he agrees, if the way his body presses down on hers is any indication. 

“Can’t stop… need you,” he groans, pushing her leg up further, so he feels almost impossibly thick and deep. Her arms wrap around his back, pulling him closer, holding him there as he ruts into her, scorching flesh pressed against flesh. 

“Yes, oh—”

Before she knows it she’s quaking again, gasping when he brings his teeth to her throat, scrapes them over her throbbing pulse. He growls in her ear, a deep, low, animalistic rumble she can feel in her stomach, then comes inside, claiming her with a broken, raspy, “mine.”

He lays half on top of her, half on the bed, after, their skin soft and damp with cooling sweat. She can’t stop looking at his face, his dark eyes, sharp jaw, and he cups her cheek with a gentle palm and gazes just as intently at her. 

“Come here,” she murmurs, a soft smile on her lips, and he kisses her slowly, makes her sigh with a pleasure so complete—mentally, physically, spiritually—it feels like she’ll never be the same. 

He gets up after a moment, comes back with a glass of water and a towel, and helps her clean up well enough to hold her over until she’s ready to get out of bed. She pulls the covers back while he’s gone, slides in between the cool sheets, and he follows her lead, pressing close to her beneath them.

“Are you upset you didn’t imprint on me?” she asks carefully, propping herself up on her elbow and using the other hand to run fingers through his hair. “I noticed that when the guys were talking about it, you got kind of tense.” He shrugs slightly before shaking his head.

“No, not upset… I was just so sure you were meant for me; I really thought it would happen sooner or later.” She understands that, can picture him wishing and waiting for something that would never come to pass. So patient, her Jacob.

“Do you wish it had? Do you think it would make this more real?” Her hand moves from his hair to his collarbone, down his chest, over his stomach, so very low. “Because when I’m touching you like this… nothing has ever felt so real.” 

He presses her against the bed, hovers over her, kisses her breathless, and it goes without saying that he agrees with every word she says. She softens beneath him, tired and pleased, and he shifts into a more comfortable position, laying behind her, that she knows means sleep for the both of them. He drapes an arm over her, and she draws circles into his skin with her fingertips, feels his warm breath on her neck, closes her eyes and revels in the weight of him at her back.

“Anyway,” she whispers, one last thought on her mind before she succumbs to sleep, “I almost think it’s better like this, that we have to fight for each other. No help from fate—just your will and mine.”

A/N: I got my start in fandom spaces by writing Twilight fanfic fifteen years ago, but I never posted it because it was... bad. Last week was a crummy week for me, so I found comfort in watching New Moon, and I literally couldn't help myself from re-writing it in Jacob's favor. There's no Edward hate here, and he'll play a bigger role in the next part I have planned, but Jake took hold of me in this one and didn't let go.

[uselesssomebody]

tmr thomas x fem!reader smut where they're a couple, make it to the safe haven and they've been trying to have their first time together but they keep getting interupted until one day when they finally can.

and its just fluffy n stuff

𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕦𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 - thomas (t.m.r.) x reader

complete masterlist | the maze runner masterlist

words || 𝟛.𝟚𝕜

summary || in which the reader and thomas try to have their first time together - but keep getting interrupted

a/n || i have not read/watched the maze runner in forever

➵ i hope you like this @marmar-c it was a fun request and apologies for how long it took to come out

➵ 18+/MDNI content, individual warning below the cut

➵ not edited (yet)

➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff/smut

➵ unprotected p.i.v.

➵ orgasm denial (because of interruptions)

➵ oral (m receiving)

➵ handjob

➵ cum (tell me if i miss anything)

thomas was an early riser - whether it be to get an early head start on the maze in the past, or simply to enjoy the solitude that morning bought when he wasn't bombarded with the onslaught that were the other gladers - their fights, loud voices and boisterous actions.

now, though, he didn't enjoy them alone. instead, he would make the short trek out of his room to the adjacent one of his girlfriend, where he'd always find her sleeping soundly, curled up under her covers, even in warm weather.

he'd close the curtains for her if she'd forgotten, to shield her from the upcoming sunlight, and would choose whichever side she was less splayed across - a feat, as she really enjoyed stretching her body to its limit to fit each crevice of her bed - before slipping in beside her.

he'd take a moment to appreciate the soft, warm feel of her flesh against his own - usually bare or only lightly-clad - chest, wrapping a large hand over her midsection, and pushing her hair away from her pillow gently, greeted by a whiff of a distinctly sweet, almost floral scent.

he wouldn't sleep - he usually couldn't, once he'd already awoken - so, he'd allow his breaths to slow to match hers, he'd allow his muscles to relax against her, and allow his eyes to close, focusing on the effects on his other senses.

she could tell when he'd come, as the skin of her midsection would grow warmer, and she'd feel the back of her calves and feet entangle with another's. she wouldn't allow her eyes to open just yet, but would turn over to face him, wrapping her own arm around him. he felt so hot against her - a goddamn furnace - and she brings her head up so her nose grazes his own.

"hey." he mumbles, a whisper in the space between them

"g'd morning." she mumbles back, not moving her lips much and leaving her words a bit garbled. she brings a hand to her eyes to rub them, willing them open and hoping she didn't look too groggy.

she did, of course, making thomas exhale a laugh.

"you're so cute," she smiles, knowing that he's not being sarcastic.

"why, thank you." it's a jokingly dramatic response, and she finally pulls herself up a little, smoothing her hair and rubbing her eyes, "what time is it?"

"too early," he answers, pulling her back down. she laughs at the aggressive action, pulling away from him just slightly in order to look at him.

he always looked his best like this: still-there bed-hair and that morning calmness that came with no impending responsibilities. it was a good look on him, and she makes this clear, tilting up just slightly in order to bring her lips to his.

it's soft - but only for a moment - before a sense of desperation weaves through the both of them and, suddenly, she's gripping his biceps and he the flimsy material of her sleep-shirt bunched around her waist.

they didn't get many moments alone like this, but that worry that someone may walk in on them had stopped them from going much further than any above-the-clothes touching. besides, their lives had been so hectic until now that the simple pleasures of life were things they hadn't completely learned.

today, though, the throbbing between both of their thighs: her at his firm grip and him at her swallowed moans, had culminated in that lesson being necessary. her hand ventured down his torso, settling on the waistband of his trousers, not even bothering to take them off, and slowly reaching her fingers under them, feeling his warm cock jolt at her touch.

he detached from her, his head thrown back as he attempted to be quiet.

"fuck, baby-" he's got this apprehensive look in his eyes, but she needs this so much, letting her hands gently squeeze and release.

"please? please, lemme make you feel good - i just-" she doesn't finish, cut off by his vigorous agreement. smirking, she uses both her hands to grip his pants, pulling them down just enough to expose his cock to her. she traces her fingers up and down his length, feeling the telltale sign of his arousal on and over his tip. his shaky breaths right by her ears spur her hands to move just that bit faster. she's tempted to slip the covers off of them and go the whole way for the first time, and his lips on her neck to subdue his noises were definitely not deterring her from that plan.

what did deter her, however, was the sharp knock on the door, causing her to wrench her hand away and squeak in shock, as thomas attempts to not lose the friction of her hands, his hips bucking as he tried to chase the feeling.

"is thomas in there?" minho's voice is muffled, but obvious, through the door, as thomas's head tips backwards, his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath.

"yeah - yeah, minho. s'everything alright?" she says it back, her hand still suspended in the air, embarrassed at being interrupted.

"breakfast's ready - get it while it's hot!" another voice - a female voice - shouts through the door in a way where it's obvious she's walking away - going to eat, presumably. she finally lets her tense muscles relax in the knowledge that it's not an emergency. she's almost inclined to slip her hand back under and finish the job, and when she looks over at her boyfriend, he seems incredibly interested in the idea, but a better plan springs to her head.

"we should get going, baby. they'll get suspicious." it's a meek excuse, but it's solidified by her rising from bed, causing him to groan, and follow her lead, pulling his clothes over himself.

blue balls didn't even begin to describe the tension that coiled in his muscles as he meekly sat down across from minho. he felt as though every sense was heightened, like when he'd jumped at a quiet clatter from inside the kitchen. his friends all watched over his antsy behavior, unsure of the reason for it.

on the other hand, his girlfriend - sat next to him - knew exactly what was wrong, and she used it to her advantage, by being more touchy than usual. a hand on his arm, or around his shoulders, or on his chest as she rose to get some water. it's like she'd left hand-prints in his already warm skin. it came to a head when the hand she'd already precariously been resting on his knee started venturing higher, trailing along the inseam of his pants.

he tries, god, he tries to ignore it, but it's all too much when her finger finally rests over the head of his cock, her palm encompassing him.

he chokes on his sip of water, causing it to spill all over him, and minho's eyebrows immediately furrow.

"you alright, man?" her hand's out from under the table, and is resting on his bicep.

"yeah, babe, are you feeling okay?" he glares at her, jaw clenched and eyes narrow. she looks back up at him innocently, though he can see the ghost of a devilish smile dance on her lips.

"'m'fine. just gonna go change." his food is practically untouched as he raises from his seat, hoping his situation isn't particularly obvious, as he heads back in the direction of his place. minho turns to her, a bit confused by the abrupt nature of his actions.

"'s'he okay?" she shrugs.

"maybe he slept wrong?" she pauses, contemplative, before raising up as well, "i'll go check on him." minho watches as she walks off as well, still a bit confused, before turning to gally, sat a bit away from him, who had an almost sour expression on his face.

"what's wrong?" why was everyone acting so weird today? minho thought, as gally looks at him incredulously, shocked he doesn't realize what was happening between the couple.

"you-? you know what, it's nothing. don't worry about it." it's dismissive, but minho shrugs his shoulders, figuring it was, in face, nothing.

in that time, she's knocking on his door, and, as soon as he realizes who it is he pulls her in, pushing her until she's facing his bed.

"fuck, what're you doing?" she mumbles, and he sighs.

"finishing what you started, baby." she smiles, looking back at him, before turning around.

"well, if you wanna finish, let's start here-" she lowers to her knees in front of him, and his head rolls back at the sight of her in the position. her fingers greedily clutch at his waistband, pulling his pants and boxers down in one motion.

he's aching, she can see it in the way his cock's pulsing, as she takes him in her palm, slowly - tortuously - stroking him as his hands weave through her hair. she can feel the lightest push against her head - to the point where he probably didn't even realize the action - and succumbed to his untold request, moving her head forward to gently wrap her lips around his tip.

"just - shit, just like that, baby." her tongue traces his head, as low moans escape him. she hums around him - something akin to a 'thank you', but all it translates to is increased sensation on his cock. his head tips back at the feeling, and his hand grips her head a little tighter, pushing her down a little further. she lets him, stilling her movements to focus on his guidance. he moves her head up and down his length, her tongue poking out along its underside, languidly lavishing the area, "you're so good - fuck me, you feel really good-"

he doesn't hesitate to continue praising her, before gently tugging her down and holding her there. immediately, her fingers reach up to grip his thighs, feeling the light - and then more serious gag at the sensation. he takes another moment to appreciate the pretty sight in front of - or under - him, before releasing her, letting her off her cock and allowing her to take deep breaths to account for her lack of oxygen.

"get up here for me, baby." he practically orders, taking her by her arms and helping her up, lightly pushing her against the bed, "first time - i'm not finishing in your mouth." she smiles, whole-heartedly agreeing with his plan, as she felt her own core throb with a need for friction.

he pushes her so that she's sitting on the bed, and, just as he goes to lay her down - there's another knock at the door.

"thomas - you said you'd help with fixing that problem on the east side." it's minho - again - calling thomas for, admittedly, a project he had signed up for the previous week, fixing some construction issue or something on the east side of the haven. admittedly, it'd seemed important work - until now, "we needa fix it quick, man - apparently it's gotten worse." thomas is literally stopped in his tracks, until she taps on his thighs, about chest level with her, essentially reminding him to get ready instead of staying still.

"c'mon, baby - go on." she mumbles, as she also rises, pulling her hair back. she waits as he gets ready, leaving the room and greeting minho - with a tone of voice that is a little distraught - making her smile.

on the other side of the door, minho's a little exasperated.

"how long does it take to change?" thomas looks confused, before remembering his lackluster excuse, and coughing.

"i - just tell me what the issue is, yeah?"

over the day, she'd continued with her own work, as thomas had continued with his. of course, both of them had been a bit distracted the whole day - unable to exactly focus when remembering what was waiting for them back home. their states were obviously noticed by the people around them - with both their friends stepping around them with quirked eyebrows or concerned impressions.

finally - believing he might actually be feeling ill - minho simply shrugs, telling thomas that maybe it'd be best he go back to his and sleep the day off. thomas was a little hesitant, but finally agreed - he wasn't exactly the biggest help in this state.

as he headed back, he swung by where she was, muttering a quick greeting to the others also working. she'd been taking a small break to clear her head of - well, the person now standing in front of her. her face lights up at the sight of him, wrapping him in a hug - though he's a little sweaty from his work earlier. one of her friends, in a similar manner to minho, urges her to head on home, and to pick up again the next day - a offer that she almost meekly accepts.

finally, the both of them are walking back towards her place.

she's got a bit of a pep in her step, and it makes him smile, his muscles aching - from his work, or from this morning, he wasn't sure - yet he knows exactly where her energy's coming from. she steps into her place, and he's right on her heels, pushing against her back as she laughs, trying to slip her shoes off as his hands relentlessly wander her body. finally, as she rises, she grabs his loose shirt, pulling him into her, capturing his lips against hers. he smiles into her mouth, and she hums contently - having a distinct feeling that it was the day they'd actually go all the way. her hands trail under his shirt until she pushes off of him for a moment, grabbing the bottom of the shirt and pulling it up and off of him. he smirks at her eagerness, but before he can make a dumb comment, her hands are at his trousers, gently tugging them down his legs. his hands join hers without a second thought, helping her get them the rest of the way down.

she can see him, hard against his boxers, and, after pushing him so he's laying down on her bed, she appreciates the way he looks - a little desperate, a lot pretty. he reaches for her hips, but she steps back, and a strange - almost garbled - whisper of indignation leaves his lips. it makes her lips quirk into a smirk, as she slowly begins taking her clothes off - each with weighty effort and a teasing smile. it doesn't defer him - as his eyes follow her movements greedily - but it definitely piques his excitement much more effectively when she finally places her thighs on either side of him, straddling his own. his hands reach up to grip her hips, guiding them down to rub against him, enjoying the slight buck of her hips, and the small noises leaving her mouth.

finally, she pulls his last article of clothing off, procuring his cock - thick and heavy - in her hand, languidly stroking him, causing his grip to tighten. she smiles against him, contemplating teasing him further but, feeling her own need, she decides against it, choosing to sit up a little higher on her knees instead.

"ready?" she mumbles looking down at his length as she attempts to situate herself correctly. maintaining her balance as she does, he hums in response, nodding as much as he can while keeping his eyes glued to her face. he can see the slight stress occur to her when she feels his cock against her, and he rubs his fingers against her lightly.

"'re you - want me to help?" she thinks he's asking if she needs to be taken care of and - though it wouldn't hurt - she's too desperate to finally feel him inside her to wait much longer.

"n-no, i wanna feel you, now." the admission makes him exhale lowly, appreciating her appreciation, and he lifts her ass up to help her hover over his cock. she can feel his head at her entrance so, taking a deep breath, she sinks down.

she's watching his anticipatory face fall into one of pleasure, and he's watching the same occur on hers - but there's that hint of discomfort that she desperately trying to ignore, stilling as her ass reaches his hips and attempting to adjust.

"'re you okay, baby?" he's massaging the expanse of her thighs and hips, trying to focus on the fucking amazing feeling of her, but also on relieving as much of the pain as he can. she's got a light wince on her face as she nods through gritted teeth.

"yeah - fuck, yeah - just give me a minute." he reassures her with short mumbles and loving phrases, hoping it was doing something to help. after another couple of moments, she breathes deeply, nodding at him lightly, before gently placing her hands against his shoulders.

she pushes up using her thighs, not loving the feeling of emptiness, in that half moment, before she sunk back onto him, releasing a small, gasping moan at the sensation. he looks up at her as she slowly repeats the action, grunting at the feeling of her cunt around him. she looked good like this, situated over him, desperately trying to both make him feel good, as well as to chase the newly-realized sensation she was also experiencing. wanting to return the favor, he grabs the bottoms of her thighs, easing her effort and pulling and pushing her with just that bit of fervor that forced him deeper inside her. she could feel him brushing against something that was making her twitch, her head falling back at the sensation as she tries to muffle her moans with one of her hands. unable to comprehend the feeling alongside moving her thighs, she slows her pace, but he didn't.

he pulls her to be situated with her face over his, hands more tightly clutching his shoulders, before he begins thrusting up into her with the newfound space. he keenly watches her face fall into a shocked pleasure, a loud moan falling from her lips at the newfound intensity and speed.

"oh my god - baby - fuck -" she's mumbling into the small space between them, desperately trying to explain how good he was making her feel, but the words escaped her, as her mind blanked at the sensation. it's spurring his thrusts on - moving that much faster, that much harder to make her fucked out nature more pronounced. it worked, as evidenced by her loud noises - ones she couldn't even think about trying to keep contained when he was making her feel like this. she can feel the feeling in her core begin to yearn for some sort of release, and she attempts to communicate this to him. it's not a great explanation, but it's more than enough for him.

"please - god, please, cum for me, baby - i want-" he wants to feel her orgasm as much as she does - anticipating the way her body would still, her face would contort, and her cunt would feel around him. she nods desperately, feeling the knot snap as the sensation of her orgasm washes over her, making her cry out over him.

he watches her, and it's as pretty as he thought it'd be: her mouth falling open and brows furrowing, her muscles tensing, and her cunt fluttering around his cock.

the feeling prompts his own orgasm as, after a few thrusts, he's pulling out of her, his cum glazing her stomach as a low groan escapes him. she gently sits back against his thighs, taking a moment to collect herself and catch her breath, as he does the same.

finally, she pushes off of him, reaching the bathroom to take a shower. he follows her after a moment, gently placing a kiss to her head.

"that was - was good." she hums in agreement, letting the water run behind them.

they both failed to realize the acoustics of the area, not realizing that the noises of their coupling had reached some of the others - maybe most notably, minho.

he sits, red faced, eyes wide. when gally notices his expression, he laughs.

"see what i mean?"

[luvfy0dor]

Rhythm Is A Dancer !! ✩‧₊˚ Bsd x GN!Reader

╰┈➤ Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor ༉‧₊˚✧

Warnings/Disclaimers ; Alcohol (Chuuya), nothing toxic though

Description ; Various bsd characters dancing with their partner!

A/N; if this is well received I might do this prompt with other characters!! I have some ideas for other things though, school just makes it tough to actually put them into writing without getting easily distracted.

Dazai Osamu !! ✧⁠*⁠。

Dazai would like to dance with his partner every now and again. Sometimes he might pull you into his chest and start swaying with you to cheer you up, or he might do it to annoy you. I think anytime he cleans his Godforsaken apartment he would invite you over, one hand on your waist, the other holding your hand outwards. Dazai dances spontaneously. I don't think there is any specific dance the really likes, he just goes with the flow. Whatever dance seems most fitting for the moment is what he's gonna do.

He particularly enjoys dipping his partner like he did to Sigma. He would grin as he watches your face contort into one of playful annoyance, placing a soft kiss on your lips shortly after. He would pull you back up, placing one of his hands on your lower back.

Scenario ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

"Dear, I've just cleaned my apartment, would you like to come over? We can have a movie night at my place instead...I can even help pay for food this time!" Dazais voice enthusiastically played through the speaker of your phone as you wiped down your kitchen counters. "Like...right now?" You asked, your head tilting as you spoke.

"Mhm! C'mon, it'll be fun! I'm sure you were on your feet all day, why not come see your lovely boyfriend and relax, yeah?" He said. You could almost hear his grin through the phone as you sighed. "Alright, all be over in like...fifteen minutes." You say, smiling before hanging up. You gather your things and make your way to his apartment. You arrive fairly quickly, using the spare key he left at your house to let yourself in.

"I'm here!" You announce setting your bag down. Dazai quickly pokes his head out of his bedroom, a large smile on his face. "Ah, finally! You took forever." He teases. It only takes a second for the ambiance of "Careless Whispers" playing to fill your ears, making you roll your eyes and blush. "C'mon, dance with me, dear."

Dazais hands find themselves either on your lower back or interlocked with one of yours as he starts to sway with you to the intro of the song. You find yourself giggling quietly as you both dance around the open space of his living room. He spins you a couple times and you spin him, ending the song with him dipping you. His face hovers just above yours, his hair softly resting against your skin as he leans in and kisses you.

Chuuya Nakahara !! ✧⁠*⁠。

I think Chuuya knows how to dance. It's not his favorite thing in the world, but he'd dance with his lover if it made them happy and he wasn't tired. He would mostly come out of his shell when it comes to dancing if he's drunk, that man can do the salsa dance, he can tango, he can waltz - you name it, he can do it. He's definitely a smoother dancer when drunk, there are times when he has two left feet sober. He definetly gets that confidence boost. He doesn't like the whip and nae nae though, he probably thinks it's stupid. He's cool with the chacha slide, though.

Chuuya enjoys to romanticism and intimacy of dancing with his partner. He loves the laughter that erupts from your lips, giving him butterflies every time he hears it. It only makes him fall further for you.

Scenario ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

The bar was quite packed as you sat at one of the stools, sipping on some water. Your lover sits besides you, drunkenly conversing with some random guy as you listened in. They would occasionally say some silly things to each other, their loud laughs covering up the sound of your quieter ones. Apart from that, there was little entertainment in the bar, your phone being very close to dying. You observe the small things happening in the bar, the way other couples lovingly engage in conversation, or the way two people dance near the jukebox, one of them spinning the other as the song comes to an end.

You feel Chuuya's arm snake around your waist, instantly returning your attention to him. His head still turned towards the man as he continues talking. Their current conversation based around the prices of certain brands of wine - specifically Chuuyas favorite, Petrus.

"The fact that $3,900 USD is a low price for one bottle is insane! Doesn't stop me from buying it though." He laughs a little. The man laughs with him, nodding in agreement. Your attention returns to the people near the jukebox, now dancing to Por Una Cabeza. Your ears perk up when you recognize the song. "Chuuya likes this song..." You thought. "Maybe he'll wanna dance."

Upon the short silence between the two men, you took your chance to ask Chuuya. You gently tugged at his sleeve, grabbing his attention.

"Chuuya, wanna go dance?" You say, pointing over at the decently sized area. "They're playing Por Una Cabeza." You smiled at him, influencing the nod you receive. "Sure thing, doll. C'mon." He smiles with you, hopping off of the bar stool. You both make your way to the small but big-enough cleared area, starting to slowly dance with each other, incorporating parts of the tango dance as you go. Your body is hugged close to his, one of his hands on your lower back, the other extended and holding yours. The song ends after a couple of minutes, Chuuya leaning in close to your face, a bit out of breath.

"I really should let ya' drag me out to the dance floor more, that was fun." He chuckles softly, pecking your cheek. You smile, a soft blush on your face.

Fyodor Dostoevsky !! ✧⁠*⁠。

Fyodor loves ballroom dancing, he was taught as a child and it has always stuck with him. He finds it both intimate and elegant, the soft sound of classical music by Russian composers playing in the background as you both delicately move across the open space. He won't be up and dancing for long though with his anemia, so he would take a moment in between songs.

That doesn't stop him from pulling you into him and swaying to the instrumentals coming from his record player, though. He dances with you whenever provided the chance. His plans weren't going exactly as planned? Take a moment to clear his mind by dancing with his lover. His lover that stands beside him, offering as much support and love as possible. His lover that is there for him, no matter what.

Scenario ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

You barely heard your boyfriend walk up behind you, jumping a bit when he rested his hands on your shoulders, peering over you to look at what you were doing. "Ah, my dear seems to be a bit jumpy today." A small laugh comes from his parted lips.

"A little,i I guess. You scared me. You're very quiet, like a mouse." You say, slipping your book mark between the pages of the novel you had started reading a few nights ago. Fyodors hand reaches for yours, interlocking your fingers together gently. You take his hand and stand up from your desk, leaning into his chest.

"My dear, it's been quite a while since we've danced together, no?" He softly asks, a small smile on his face as he leads you over to the record player, only letting go of your hand to carefully start the machine. He rests his head softly on your shoulder, inhaling the scent of your cologne or perfume. His hands resting either on the small of your back or in your own. "You always smell so lovely." You laugh a bit at his compliment.

"You must feel awfully affectionate this evening." You say. Your fingers softly scratch at Fyodors scalp, massaging his head as you two move together to the soft song. "Do you not like it?" You're quick to shake your head. "No, I love it. Forget I ever said anything." You softly giggle. Fyodor smiles and his eyes meet yours. You can hear the song coming to an end, and he pulls you in, his lips meeting yours in a passionate and loving kiss.

[manias-wordcount]

Just followed hope your year is going awesomely!

I was just wondering if ur requests are open that could write something about either Touya Todoroki (dabi) , Katsuki Bakugo, or Spike Spiegel finding out their girlfriend has never even had a boyfriend or even held hands before?

If you don’t feel up to it then whats your favorite dessert? Haha

First Boyfriend HCs (Touya Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugou, Spike Spiegel)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆!

𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: @dogsandrocketsocks @pittbull-enthusiast @asuperconfusedgirl @rendartgrimson

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

Dabi/Touya Todorok

Dabi is gonna make it weird 1000%

Not weird weird but he’s gonna poke fun at you and make a bunch of jokes and tease you about how you’ve never had a boyfriend before

Might even brag to some of his friends that you were probably saving yourself for him so you know what it’s like to have a real boyfriend or something cringe like that

But deep down he’s a messy mix of feeling both terrified he gonna mess up your dating life forever and amazed that he truly has a chance at being Touya again

On one hand, he knows he’s not the type of guy who can show you what a good relationship is like- something very important for your first

He can’t take you on dates as you deserve, you can never be seen with him out in public, and sometimes he’s gotta go no contact with you for days at a time

On the other hand, he gets to be someone else around you because you’re a clean slate for him

He grew up trying to fit the mold his father created for him so to have the chance to really start new with someone who doesn’t have preset expectations of him? He’s gonna take advantage of that

Given his lifestyle now, you’re not the type of girl Dabi would usually go for. But you’d be everything Touya wants if Touya could be as free as Dabi is

So he’ll be weird about it at first

But that’s because in his own weird messy dabi way, he’s gonna try his best for you

And he absolutely will not be the perfect first boyfriend

He won’t even be the perfect boyfriend (especially considering he’s like wanted for terrorism and stuff)

But in his own fucked up way, with many many many mistakes, he’s gonna try to give you the relationship you deserve

And the relationship Touya would have always wanted if he didn’t grow up to be to be Dabi

Katsuki Bakugo

Chances are he has held hands with a girl before

But he because of his personality?

Yeah this boy has been single as mf except for a couple of kindergarten girlfriends

So he’ll probably act like it’s a big deal that he’s your first boyfriend because you’re with the best of the best and he’s gonna be this hotshot hero one day that will protect you

But on the inside, he’s freaking out a bit and googling shit on what girls like and how to keep a girlfriend happy

Though despite his less-than-stellar personality, he does a really good job at being your first boyfriend

But you’re both young so does it really matter that much?? Not really WHAHAH

Of course, he has his moments where is ego gets in the way and he’s too brash

But he listens to you and he takes it as slow and as gentle as you both want it to be

He still has his moments where he’s way too blunt but with enough Wiki-How-To’s (and advice from his parents) he becomes way better at knowing when he’s being too much

And knowing that he actually has to dial back his personality sometimes

Eventually, he admits to you (with much difficulty) that you’re his first girlfriend 

But that only pushes you to try to do your own research and learn how to be a good girlfriend for his sake since you both lack experience!

All in all, you both make a good couple

And you make a good Bakugou handler

Spike Spiegel

Spike is way way way more used to women with experience so you’re a change of pace

In fact, he was still having the occasional one-night stand when he met you

So you’re aware of the experience gap between the two of you

But he wasn’t until you said something  WHAHAHAH

Though that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to playing doting, enamored boyfriend for

Seriously

Being “with” Julia taught him that if he loves a woman enough, he’ll keep his sights on her and her alone

But being with you taught him that if he loves a woman enough, he will do anything for her. 

Literally anything (get ready to be spoiled rotten by the broken boy in the galaxy)

So he won’t really care that you aren’t as experienced as he is

But he’ll keep it in mind

He’ll make sure he takes everything at your pace and he won’t ever treat you the same way he ever treated his one-night stands

And even though it’s hard, he gets a bit better at being transparent and communicating with you

And he becomes way, way, way softer with you than Jet thought he was ever capable of

But you make him happy so first boyfriend or not, he’s just glad he has you <3

[dragongirltongue]

working on a story/game/thing set in the 1990s, it's about the world changing and and the age of magic beginning. time is going to progress narratively only and I want the ending to take place on New Years to fit into the things are changing vibe.

The story is going to be playful but take itself seriously enough, think like Adventure Time or SLARPG in terms of tone, at least at this point in concept and development.

I'm thinking it'll either take place in '99 for the big heavy theming of entering the new millennium as the world changes forever.

Or

Somewhere earlier where the actual year turnover won't ultimately matter beyond the imagery of a new year beginning by the end of the story.

No show results option or suggest your own, though if you choose the second option and have a specific year in mind I'm very willing to listen, do give reasons if you suggest a specific year. Hell feel free to give reasons if you chose '99 too.

If you want more deets hit the read more.

So you wanna know more about this idea huh?

Well I was playing Tunic not long after Lenna's Inception and the Anodyne games and thought, hey I'd really love to make my own Zelda game too.

The idea is that 12,000ish years ago magic was discovered to be a thing by humanity, around this time a dragon appeared and warned that magic would doom the world. The magic users refused to listen and so a fight broke out, the dragon killed them all.

With the magic users all dead the dragon sealed earth in an anti-magic bubble and requested that their followers kill them to truly end all magic on earth, in their final moments they cast a spell with what magic is left inside the bubble to ensure they reincarnate if magic ever returns and can influence their new incarnation to destroy magic once again.

skip forward to the 1990s, after the industrial revolution caused untold amounts of ecological damage the anti-magic bubble is damaged along with all the horrors we know to have happened in reality.

At some point a corporation happens to find the truth, that magic exists and that a dragon is central to how it will alter our world. So they use it in several projects and build dragons to guard the locations these projects are taking place in. These locations then transform into dungeons.

Our hero finally enters the picture, Connie, a young woman who's just been doing whatever with her life, after investigating a rumor about monsters at a construction site she finds herself guided by a voice to take up a sword and fight the immitation dragons so she can achieve her true power, take on the form of a dragon herself, and save the world from the threat of magic.

Connie decides however after an accident at the first dungeon that maybe the world will be better off with magic as long as it's not solely in the hands of greedy rich bastards.

There's a lot more I have figured out but I think this is enough to get an idea for the poll. I am happy to blather more about the setting and Connie herself, her friends eventually too once I have them figured out. Feel free to send me asks about this. I'm prolly gonna make a sideblog for this at some point. Ideally once I have an idea if I can reasonably make a videos game or not lol.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

I really love you're writing💞

I would really like to ask a request(if you don't mind,I hope you don't,everyone's been ignoring me😭)Obey me brothers reacting to a Mileena Mc from Mortal Kombat.If you don't know Mileena than It's ok.

Obey me brothers reacting to a maneater or femme fatale Mc with her playful,blood thirsty and powerhungry personality.

I hope I didn't bother you.Have a nice day,Ty🥰

Mileena Reader | Yandere Obey Me!

To say you're eccentric is an understatement. You brandish your sai(s) with ease, when you're not wearing the uniform your wearing your typical tight-fitting assassin attire. You often keep a mask on your face only ever revealing it when you feel your getting too attached:

“You scared of me, boys?”

Lucifer

“I’m sure you’d like it if I was.”

He’s genuinely worried 

Not about his brothers about you

He sees you often put up this act of confidence gained by scaring others or tricking them

In the rare moments he sees you, the real you, he wants the moment to last forever

“(Y/n) I love you for you.”

“Even with a face like this?”

“Especially with a face like this.”

“You’re a fool, then I could eat you alive if I willed it.”

“I’d let you.”

“Pftt whatever.”

He knows you put up a front and he doesn’t mind

But he wants the real you

So he kind of backs you up even when your crossing lines left and right

“Ahhhh Lucifer that human transfer actually tried to cut me!”

“I see.”

“Are you going to do something!” 

“It means she likes you…don’t get too cozy though.”

“Oh, Maaaammmoooonn?”

“Ahhhhhh.”

Mammon

“I-I am not!”

He’s certainly not lying

But he is the first to go from running from you to shyly turning on his back for you

Scary and loving are closer than you’d think for the avatar of greed

He knows you play him like a fiddle

Changing your playful voice to something warmer when you cuddle into him

Before switching back to your playful side again

“Now come on Mammon don’t you want this amulet? It's worth what again?”

“I-its priceless! A-a fashion time-piece that is going to sell for thousands no millions.”

“Then. Come. And. Get. It.”

“B-but you p-put it in your–next to your–”

“Are you rejecting my offer?”

“No! I’m coming!”

He’s the puppy you love to chase around and pulling on his leash is a part of the fun

Even when you reveal your face he’s not as phased as you’d hope

“Eh, I’ve seen worse.”

Take that as you will but he’s fighting anyone with something to say

“Oi. Don’t you dare talk about my human! If you do it’ll cost you.”

Leviathan

“Y-yes b-but will you do that voice of that character I like?”

Similar to Mammon you scare him and make him feel amazing

Somehow you show up in his room when he’s locked the door

Laying in his tub/bed when he goes to end the day

But he loves it more than he’d like to admit when you do step on him

Or tease him

You remind of a character from a battle game he plays

A Scarleena from Immortal Combat

“I’ve never heard of such a thing…are you enamored by her?”

“Well duh, I wouldn’t have bought her limited edition figurine model if I wasn’t.”

“Then do you like her more than me?”

“Uh-uh n-n-no. Y-your hands–ack–t-touching me!”

“Good. I was starting to think you would have hated me. Won’t you show me how much you care?”

“O-okay! Y-yes!”

He’s not as reliant on you as Mammon but he still relays how he feels about you when you play

“You look just like that character!”

“Levi.”

“Sorry, b-but I still think you are pretty…for a real-life, anyway.”

“Ara ara and I thought you were only into 2-D?”

*blushing fiercely* “W-well I can make an exception…only cause it's you.”

Satan

“Hardly.”

He’s intrigued by you

He’s not on the run from you but he certainly doesn’t understand you at first

You are his newest investigation

“So you're interested in knowing about me?”

“Yes. Any siblings?”

“Ugh yes, but I’d sooner kill her than see her again.”

“Well, we might have more in common than I originally thought.”

He’s right your help in his pranks against his brother is greatly appreciated

And he finds himself smitten when he sees you past your playful power-hungry actions

“(Y/n)...did you truly think I’d no longer be interested in you after seeing your face?”

“It’s not a bizarre thought, for you.”

“Then you must not know me well enough, dear.”

“Oh? Are you doubting that I know who I’m speaking to?”

“No. I’m doubting how thoroughly you investigated. Especially with a subject as willing as I.”

“Then don’t mind if I do.”

“Go ahead. I promise to be gentle.”

Asmodeus

“Oya? I’ll be really scared if you pin me now!” 

So dramatic it almost throws you off 

But on the best of days you both keep each other on your toes

“Promiscuous as always, Asmodeus?”

“You know it, darling! Now about showing me what’s under that mask…”

“Didn’t I tell you? I’d eat you if you saw.”

“But that’s exactly what I want!”

“I think there's been a misunderstanding.”

Now unlike the others who either don’t care or don’t mind Asmodeus does

“Oh…oh…my that is awfully….gnarly.”

“See. Now that you’ve seen I will–”

“Now hold on, don’t misunderstand you will always be pretty because it's you….but we need to figure out how kissing is going to work…hmm.”

“I see no reason to discuss something so pointless.”

“Nonsense, it should probably be fine if we stole the pair from that one model…it’d be convenient for the upcoming make-up launch.”

“Violence?”

“Yup!”

Beelzebub

*Munch Munch* “Huh? Did you say something?’

The answer is no

You can threaten him all you like or try to seduce him but he’s not budging 

“You’d do best not to hold me if you don’t want to have a chunk eaten off of you!”

“If that's what it takes to make you eat then so be it.”

“Stubborn, I’ll tolerate it if you can defeat me.”

“You want to fight? Fine but you have to eat first it's not healthy to do lots of exerting yourself without eating.”

“Grrrrr I’ll gut you for your incompetence!”

*Shifts to demon form* “If you're going to refuse me I will use force.”

You two don’t really get on the same level on your own 

Someone (Belphegor) has to mediate so you can clear up the misunderstanding

Its a wonder how you two still end up clashing at least on your end anyway

No one knows if he’s really seeing you or just putting his own thoughts on you

“So that's why you weren’t eating around me. Don’t do that again, I was worried.”

“Worried? For me? Best be careful your sentimentality may lead to your doom.”

“If it's really embarrassing for you we can eat away from everyone, I’m sure Lucifer won’t mind.”

“Are you deaf?”

“Nope but if you do have a taste for demons we can take a trip to the slums.”

Belphegor

“Only as scared as you are of me.”

“That would be none.”

“Good.”

You so easily affirm his dislike for humans

But more than he likes to admit he enjoys it every time

And so he fights with himself about what it is he likes about fighting you

The actual fighting or you

It turns out to be the latter as he finds himself waking with anger when you're antagonizing some other demon

“Don’t do that again.”

“What? Leave your side when you slumber? What am I? Your teddy bear?”

“Heh might as well be with how much I think about you.”

“What’s that? Are you admitting a surrender to your teddy bear?”

“Hah never!” 

To the naked eye, your relationship makes no sense 

but it doesn’t matter 

not to him at least

All that matters is that when he sleeps that your in arms-length

“From this point on, you're my human. *Yawn* So no picking fights without me.”

“And who are you to demand this of me?”

“Your demon Belphegor.”

[stickycreatorunknown]

Together - Dabi x f!reader x Hawks

Pairing: – Dabi x f!reader x Hawks

Summary: You were close with them both, in more ways than one

Warnings: (Proofread) No spoilers, 18+ Content, Minors DNI, all characters 21+, foreplay, fingering, cunnilingus, fellatio, rough sex, marking, penetration, unsafe sex, some degradation (slut), multiple orgasms, overstim just a bit, slight BL, aftercare mentioned

Word Count: 5.5k

/Masterlist for more

There was something about the two of them together. At first, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. They were so different, but when together they seemed to mesh so well. Thinking on it further, they were quite similar, at least sometimes. Both men always seemed to exude confidence, though it seemed that behind that were wildly different examples of what they felt confidence was. Keigo often put on a calm face, an easy-going demeanor even, but you knew he was always cautious and alert, constantly thinking and taking steps toward all of his goals. He showed a jovial spirit with a kind smile but could be quick to judge and tended to trust his instincts over anything else. Dabi, on the other hand, was abrasive and disrespectful, seemingly chaotic but really quite calculated. Everything he did had a purpose, but what that purpose was for him to know and no one else to worry about. He loved confrontation, seemingly choosing to be argumentative just for the fun of it, completely aware of his blatant disrespect towards others but continuing to choose those actions anyway. He found some sense of joy in knowing he could stir others so easily, was highly self-aware, and was able to use everything to his advantage. Keigo was similarly intelligent, though never cruel. 

As different as they seemed, those things seemed to fade when they were together. Keigo’s quick wit was a perfect match for Dabi’s argumentativeness. Dabi’s chaotic personality seemed to fit so neatly beside Keigo’s laid-back attitude. They could banter for hours. Your first experience with this surprised you, expecting Dabi (someone you considered a friend, though you knew he would never utter any kind of agreement on that) to be quick to anger with Keigo’s demeanor. Instead, you found they seemed to complement each other’s nature. Dabi was a bit calmer around Keigo, and Keigo was a bit freer around Dabi. You didn’t know Keigo as well as Dabi, but you knew people sometimes found him blunt, Dabi however seemed to enjoy this. You also knew Dabi to be prone to destruction, whether it be of physical things or even his relationships, but with Keigo he was so much gentler, seeming to value him more than most others. 

You had always been drawn to Dabi, his personality embodying a lot of what you wish you could be, bolder, more assertive, more aggressive maybe. You were instantly attracted to him upon meeting, finding yourself interested in more than just his mind. The first time you touched him was something that can still give you chills when you remember it. You reached to his face, thumb gentle as it brushed across the meeting of his scarred skin and natural skin, the staples cold against your soft hands. He had grabbed you to push your hand away, fingers firm on your wrist, eyes glaring into your own. But something stopped him, and you’ll forever remember the feeling of rough skin beside soft skin, the staples' coolness a contrast to the heat of his skin. His eyes even seemed to change at that moment, softening as they looked into your own, his grip relaxing on your arm as you touched more of him. Since that first time, you found yourself craving the feeling of his skin, wanting to run your hands over him constantly, count his staples, and kiss his scars. He seemed surprised at the way you had planted delicate kisses over every line of his body, trailing along each scar and treating it so sweetly, never once flinching away or making the face many did when they saw him. 

It reminded him of the first time Keigo had touched him, something you weren’t aware of. The way Keigo’s hand held onto his wrist, not retreating when he felt the roughness of his scarred skin, instead holding tighter. The first time Keigo touched him it wasn’t sexual, but it turned into something more after each time. You had never realized the men were so close until all three of you were together and shared a moment. You paid close attention to the way they looked at each other, Keigo’s golden eyes staying on Dabi’s cool blue ones for most of the night. They never needed to look away to know where to touch or what to do, and thankfully you fit in perfectly. Dabi had been attracted to you for a while, though Keigo hadn’t given you much thought until that night. He was always more concerned with Dabi than anyone else in the room. But that night he saw you a bit differently, realizing how attractive you really were. He found himself almost just as drawn to your eyes as Dabi’s, whispering your name under his breath the first time you kissed. It sounded so serene coming from his lips. 

You had all made it a habit of being together quite often now, craving each other so desperately that even when the moment was slow, you had to be touching. You quickly picked up on the men’s sexual nuances. Keigo was a bit slower, much more gentle, but found himself losing control at times, something you often edged him towards, loving the way his voice got so deep and his breaths so heavy when he felt that way. Dabi was a bit rougher, liking to leave marks and hear you whine in both pain and pleasure, smirking to himself and calling you dirty things to see your reaction, loving the way your eyes light up when he calls you his slut. Keigo could never, even when he was feeling intense and moving quickly he would always call you by your name, maybe call you baby or little one if he was really losing himself. 

Tonight you were with Dabi, limbs tangled together on the bed as you ran sloppy kisses over each other’s bodies. Clothes were mostly discarded on the floor beside the bed, the light low and flickering as the fire had been lit for a while but was dimming over time. All that was left to cover you were a pair of socks, one slightly wrinkled and scrunched around your ankle as it got tugged down when your pants were torn off. Dabi wore only boxers, the waistline askew as you had been trying to tug them from his body for a minute but he kept trying to tease, tossing your hands away with a laugh after every attempt. Keigo was coming over, neither of you knew when, but you hoped soon. Dabi’s breaths were heavy and his hands were getting rougher, the way they drug over your skin, keeping your body close on top of his. He was so warm against you, chests pressed close together as your lips found his again, following his lead and biting down on his bottom lip. He loved when it went you got a bit rough, laughing to himself before flipping you over suddenly, pinning your body to the bed with his own. He scanned your face slowly, lips curved into a smirk and eyes hooded and dangerous as they trailed you. 

You squirmed beneath him, hands trying to pull him back down into a kiss, fingers wound tightly into his thick hair. His smirk was devious and his hands so easily took hold of your own, fingers winding around your wrists as he pinned them above you. His hands were so big, palms almost soft against your skin as his fingers wound around and overlapped each other, keeping your arms steady against the bed. You leaned up into him, body arching up into his, chests pressed together tightly. If the room around you wasn’t a bit cool you would be sweating, skin hot and nearly sticky as you tried to keep your body as close to his as possible. He grinned, face leaning down towards yours, lip barely brushing the surface of your skin, trailing from your chin to your temple. 

“So needy,” He whispered, his breath hot against your ear before he bit down on it, tugging just a bit as he shifted to hold both your wrists in one hand, trailing the other down your body. He took hold of your hip, nails digging into your skin as he ground his hips down against you, letting you feel his erection, a few beads of precum dribbling into his tight boxers. You shuddered, keeping yourself close to him as you rolled your hips up against him, happy to know he was as excited as you were right now. 

“What if I made you wait?” He asked, teasing as his tongue roamed down your neck, teeth sinking into the skin of your collarbone, making you whimper. He meant to wait for Keigo, leave you here like this with nothing more. 

“You wouldn’t do that,” You said back, tilting your head to the side to let him leave his mark on you, sucking on the slowly bruising skin of your collar. He laughed, the rumble deep in his chest and his eyes lit up as he looked back into yours. 

“Try me,” He whispered in a tone that could be mistaken for cruel but it made you smile, a blush dotting across your cheeks as you felt him wedge between your legs suddenly, pushing your thigh to the side for him to teasingly rub his cock between your legs, putting pressure over your clit. You gasped, jutting your hips up into him, silently begging him to do it again. His boxers were getting wetter now, his clothed cock trailing through your slick as you spread your legs wider for him. 

“You want it too,” You nearly moaned the words, his grip on your thigh firm, big hand rough as he dug his fingers into your skin, keeping your legs open for him. He trailed his tongue back up your throat, stopping at your chin and hovering his lips above your own. You whined and tried to connect your lips to his when his hand let go of your wrists suddenly and he took hold of your hair, tilting your head back harshly as he kissed beneath your jaw. Your hands grabbed hold of his shoulders as you squirmed beneath him, his body pushing harder into yours now as he rolled his hips onto you. 

“Hn!” You whimpered, pain shooting across your scalp as he chuckled quietly, his kisses softer as they came back up your face, his tongue grazing over the shell of your ear. 

“So fucking needy,” He practically growled, the hand holding your thigh moving over suddenly to let him slide his fingers between your lips, surprising you. You gasped loudly, pushing your hips into his hand as he pulled his body back just enough to leave room for him to run his fingers through your messy folds, thumb toying with your clit as his fingers were suddenly sinking into your pussy. He pulled your hair a bit harder, getting you to whimper for him again, your eyes closed tightly and your legs tensed as you held them open, feeling how deeply his fingers reached into your sex. He pushed onto your plush walls, scissoring his fingers slowly to let you feel yourself stretch out, the sound wet and messy as he fingered you quickly. You dug your nails into his shoulders, whining rhythmically with the movement of his fingers, his thumb pressing hard circles around your clit as it throbbed for him. 

He stopped suddenly, pulling his hand from you, a heavy string of your juices attached between his fingers as he held it up for you to see. He licked his lips before shoving his fingers into your already open mouth, letting you taste yourself and lick his fingers clean. He watched your expression as he pushed his fingers onto your tongue, getting you to open your mouth just a bit, letting your hair loose as he cradled your head gently in his hand instead. 

“What a good fucking slut,” He whispered, sending chills up your spine as you nodded slowly. You both peered over to the door when you heard the footsteps, boots hitting the hardwood and coming down the hall towards the open door. He pulled his fingers from your mouth slowly, resting his hand on the bed beside you now, holding himself up a bit to see who was coming through the door. It was Keigo, obviously, no one else was around today. Keigo held his jacket in one hand, the other trailing through his hair to brush it back and out of his face. It was very windblown and a mess, his tight shirt partially untucked and his belt already undone. 

He scoffed when he saw the two of you, not to offend but more so out of humor, nearly laughing at the sight. Your legs wide and Dabi’s hips between them, your chests both heaving as you breathed out, your neck covered in hickeys and his hair a mess from your hands. 

“Welcome in,” Dabi said coyly, his cool blue eyes scanning Keigo slowly, already drinking him in. Keigo grinned, knowing the look well before he looked at you. You started to sit up but Dabi quickly pinned you once more, keeping you in place as he “tsked” at you, not wanting you to get up. You pouted, wriggling your wrists just a bit as his fingers tightened and his body sank a bit heavier into yours, his cock pressing heavily against your folds. Keigo kicked his boots off, tossed his jacket atop them, and fanned out his wings for a moment before tucking them in neatly to his back, keeping them close to his body so they wouldn’t get in the way. He reached for Dabi first, leaning over the bed to take hold of his chin and bring him into a kiss, both their eyes fluttering closed as they kissed slowly. You could only watch, body held down helplessly by Dabi as the men greeted each other. Keigo’s hand trailed through Dabi’s hair slowly as Dabi sat up just enough to keep their lips connected, shifting just enough for you to feel his cock move across your body, making you whine. 

“Hello to you too,” Keigo said, pulling his lips from Dabi’s to look down at you, grinning at your compromised position. You smiled sweetly, his golden eyes making his expression soft as he glanced over your body, noting the marks on your neck and the sunken skin from Dabi’s nails in your hip and thigh. You tugged on your wrists and the men eyed each other for a moment, seeming to share some kind of communication before Dabi smirked and quickly shifted both of your bodies. He was easily able to sit up and pull you with him, tugging your arms instead to be behind your back as he moved to sit behind you as well, pulling you back against his chest as he forced your body to face Keigo’s at the side of the bed. One of his hands held both of yours together behind you, and the other pushed one of your legs to the side, giving Keigo a full view of dripping pussy before he ran his hand up your stomach and chest, holding onto one of your breasts as he rested his chin on your shoulder. 

“Hm,” Keigo made a small noise, showing approval as he sat down on his knees beside the bed, arms hooking beneath your legs to tug your hips in his direction just a bit further. Your body leaned back into Dabi’s, your arms folded neatly behind you as you felt his cock press into your lower back. Keigo’s eyes stayed on Dabi’s for a moment, the two sharing a long look before he leaned in between your legs, his breath soft against your lips as gently kissed the mound of your vulva. You whined, shifting to spread your legs further, trying to tilt your hips to guide his lips down but he only smirked, eyes on yours now. Dabi’s hand kneaded your breast, his lips kissing across your shoulder as your eyes were locked on Keigo’s, a shudder running through you as you felt Dabi pinch your nipple and Keigo stick his tongue out to slowly lick down your folds. 

“Oh!” You whimpered, tilting your head back against Dabi’s shoulder as Keigo’s tongue pressed flat between your lips, spreading them as he trailed down over your sensitive clit and towards your pussy. 

“My god,” He muttered, tongue dipping into you to drink you in before he trailed it back up to your clit, flicking over it slowly to make you moan. You could feel Dabi grin against your skin as he toyed with your nipple, biting down on your shoulder now to make you wince, your body arching as you felt the mix of pain from his teeth and pleasure from Keigo’s tongue. Keigo was delicate but not slow, his tongue fluttering perfectly over your clit as he held your hips close to his face, hands grabbing hold of your hips as he closed his eyes. You bit your lip as you watched him, pleasure written across his expression as his eyebrows relaxed and he leaned into your taste. His thumbs rubbed delicate circles over your hip bones as he alternated between your clit and your pussy, tongue moving quickly to dip into you between licks on your throbbing clit. You were a mess, moaning and gasping at the feeling of him between your legs and Dabi trailing kisses and bites over your shoulder and neck, his hand working at both of your breasts, teasing your nipples. 

Both men knew when you were about to cum as you gasped loudly and your legs twitched, Keigo holding onto you a bit tighter as you felt your back arch and Dabi’s hand grip your arms to keep them back as you whined. Your legs were shaking as Keigo’s eyes opened again and stared up at you, watching your face twist in pleasure as his tongue moved quickly over your clit, drawing your orgasm from you. You were loud, whimpering and moaning into Dabi’s ear as Keigo sucked on your clit and lapped up everything you spilled for him. Your body shook and Dabi kept you against him, his lips trailing to your ear now to bite down and whisper to you. 

“What a good slut,” His voice was quiet and deep as you shivered from the sound, hips jutting involuntarily against Keigo’s tongue. Your movements slowed and Keigo’s tongue followed your lead, licking up and down you once more, sucking on your dripping sex for another moment before pulling away and sitting up taller. You bit your lip as you let out shaky breaths, watching Keigo lean in towards Dabi, their lips connecting again, tongues meeting in the middle as they shared a deep kiss. Dabi released your arms, letting you pull them out from behind yourself as his hand trailed down between your legs, his fingers spreading and toying with your lips for a moment before he gave a soft smack on your clit, making your body jerk up and a loud whine came from you. He grinned against Keigo’s mouth, rubbing his fingers over your aching clit for another moment before the two men parted and Keigo climbed onto the bed. He pushed Dabi onto his back and ran his hands slowly over his chest and stomach, eyeing him before looking at you. 

He nodded his head to the side, directing you to move closer, glancing at Dabi’s cock before looking back at you. You nodded, tugging Dabi’s boxers off quickly as Keigo leaned down to kiss him again, Dabi’s hands trailing over his sides as their tongues wound together again. You took hold of Dabi’s cock, sitting beside his now naked body at his hip, his legs twitching for just a moment as your hands moved delicately over his length. Your palms were soft against his skin, hands wrapping around his cock to rub up and down it as he took hold of Keigo’s hair, their kiss heavier as their lips moved harder against each other. You bit your lip, shifting a bit to lean down and take the tip of his cock in your mouth, eliciting a gasp from him out of surprise. You glanced up at him, lips wrapped around his tip as you flicked your tongue across it, licking up the precum that came leaking out suddenly. Keigo’s lips trailed down his neck, careful over his scars as he kissed and sucked on his skin, hands still firm on his chest as he kept him in place. 

You shifted on the bed just enough to give Keigo the room to lay his own body beside Dabi’s, trailing one hand down his chest and across the muscles of his stomach and hips. You took more of Dabi’s cock in your mouth, letting it fill your throat as you could feel the way it twitched with pleasure. One of his hands suddenly wound into your hair, gripping it tightly as you bobbed your head, letting his tip hit the back of your throat each time. Your tongue followed up and down his length with your movements, flat and pushing against the thick vein that ran down the bottom of his shaft. His hand guided you, his movements were a bit sloppy as he was focused on both your lips and Keigo’s at the same time. He held your head down onto him, filling your throat with his length and almost eliciting a gag but you tightened your lips and closed your eyes, letting him move you as he wished. 

“Ah-!” You gasped softly when he pulled you from his cock, taking in a deep breath as you watched him sit up a bit, pushing Keigo down to his length now. You grinned, scooting up his body to lean into his lips, catching him off guard. He let out a soft sigh and wound an arm around your waist, tugging you closer, chests pressing together as you kissed. Your eyes fell closed and your hands held his shoulders, tongues dancing together as he let out small groans from the way Keigo was teasing him. Keigo’s hands teased his inner thighs and his tongue trailed around his shaft, kissing and licking his balls before running his tongue up his length and taking him in his mouth finally. 

The second blowjob was short-lived, Keigo taking control suddenly as he moved from Dabi’s cock and quickly lifted you to sit atop Dabi’s lap instead. He trailed gentle hands over your body, fingers delicate as they ran down your back and over your hips, positioning you over Dabi’s cock. Dabi’s hands went between your legs, his fingers sliding between your lips to toy with your sensitive clit. You gasped, biting your lip as he grinned up at you, relaxing back into the bed as your body leaned over his own. His hand took hold of his cock, standing it up for you as Keigo’s hands guided your hips to sit. Your pussy swallowed it slowly, pulsing already as the girth filled you, stretching your walls as you whimpered at the sensation. Keigo was behind you suddenly, hard chest against your back as his lips trailed across your ear, making you shiver. 

“I’m next, love,” He said sweetly, planting a soft kiss beneath your ear as his thumbs stroked your hips. You blushed, Dabi seeing it and a smirk flashing across his face for a moment, his fingers still teasing your clit as you sat onto him, his length filling you completely now. Your hips jutted as Dabi lifted his own, pushing himself into you harder as Keigo held your body atop him, keeping you down as your legs shook just a bit. 

“Hn!” You whined, tilting your head back onto Keigo’s shoulder as his lips trailed your neck, kissing softly over your skin as Dabi started to fuck himself up into you. Your knees held you up, your legs shaking as you felt him move beneath you, jutting up into your body as his fingers so skillfully circled your clit. You whimpered and moaned with his every move, his hand coming away suddenly and giving another soft smack to your clit, your eyes flashing open for a moment before rolling back as he did it again, grinning to himself. Keigo held you up, kissing across your shoulder as his hands kept hold of your hips. Your own hands were on Dabi’s chest, trying to keep yourself steady as he fucked you. 

“Where do you want it, slut?” Dabi asked suddenly and Keigo pulled himself from your back, standing beside the bed now and stripping himself, letting Dabi do as he pleased again. You whimpered, feeling weak as you fell into his body, not being held up anymore as you could feel his cock twitch inside you. He was going to cum. His fingers moved fast on your clit, your body shaking as you felt close to another orgasm. His other hand wound into your hair, tugging you down to him, tilting your head back roughly as he licked along your ear. 

“I asked you a question,” He warned, and you nodded, searching for your words as you felt your pussy suddenly pulse, tightening around him, practically swallowing him suddenly. He gasped, letting out a soft moan against your ear before a soft chuckle came from his lips. He slowed his movements just a bit, eyes between you now as he watched his cock sink into your dripping pussy, feeling it clench around his length as your body shook with your orgasm. 

“What a good slut,” He whispered, biting your ear suddenly as you felt him fill you, gasping softly at the heat you felt inside you suddenly, his own body tensing for a moment as he came deep inside you. You lay atop him for another few moments, his hands slow as they stroked your hair and your hip, his lips trailing down your neck. He rolled you over carefully and you realized Keigo had laid a towel out across the bed exactly where it needed to be as you rolled onto your back and stretched a bit. Dabi got up, slow as he pulled his length from you, little whimpers leaving your lips as he cleaned himself up. You started to sit up a bit, reaching for a corner of the towel to clean yourself up but Keigo was quicker, climbing onto the bed and sitting between your legs, resting on his own folded legs as he cleaned you up carefully. You blushed, not yet opening your eyes as you felt his thumb trail slowly between your lips after dropping the towel. 

“My turn,” He said softly, partly a question and partly a statement. You peeked up at him, naked now as his eyes trailed your body slowly. Your legs still twitched and your body was covered in purple and red marks from Dabi’s fingers and teeth. The bed dipped a bit as Dabi sat back down, leaning onto his side beside you, watching your expression as Keigo moved in closer between your legs. Your thighs wrapped around his hips as he leaned down to brush his lips against your own. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders instinctively, a few of his feathers fluttering across your forearms as you adjusted them making sure not to lean against them. You could feel his cock resting against you, heavy on your stomach as he ran a hand across your cheek and through your hair slowly. 

“I’ll be gentle baby,” He whispered into your lips, the kiss soft as you felt his other hand run down your waist, palm gentle against your skin as he held your hip. Dabi reached out and stroked his back slowly, teasing the edges of his feathers and making him shiver. Dabi smirked, watching the two of you as Keigo trailed his tongue across your bottom lip before your tongue found his. He shifted his hips a bit, lifting up from you enough to let his cock fall between your legs, making you whine as you felt its heaviness against your folds. His hand guided it slowly, trailing his tip between your folds, precum wetting you again before he prodded your entrance carefully. You whimpered, head tilting back as your lips pulled from his, feeling the familiar stretch again already. 

Your arms tightened around him, feeling his solid body above you as he slowly slid into your entrance. Even being fucked mere moments ago your walls squeezed him, practically sucking him in as he burried himself inside you. Your head tilted further back, lips parting and little whimpers were all that could leave your lips as Keigo ran the hand that was holding his cock back up your folds and teased your clit. Your body shook, your hips pushing into his own as you tried to adjust to the feeling of his cock inside of you while his fingers circled your aching clit. You were close to numb from the way you came before, and his lips leaning to your ear made you almost lose your breath. 

“Feels so good,” Keigo whispered, his voice having an edge to it as you could tell how badly he wanted to fuck the shit out of you. He was being patient though, waiting for you to relax beneath him. You did slowly, your thighs loose around his hips now, his body sitting up enough to let him see you, strong hand holding your belly down as his thumb delicately fluttered across your clit. Your hands held onto his waist now, fingers digging into his skin as you let yourself relax, eyes falling closed as you felt his free hand run through your hair sweetly, his thumb brushing gingerly over your cheek as he watched your face. Dabi smirked beside him, leaning in beside you and taking hold of your jaw in his hand, his lips trailing your ear as he whispered. 

“Look at him while he fucks you, slut,” Your eyes shot open to obey him, eyes looking up into the golden iris’s of Keigo who was more than ready to start moving his hips and feel your pussy pull him back in. You gasped when you felt him pull out, not completely but enough to let you only feel his tip once more. He was still more gentle than Dabi, but the way he thrust his hips you could tell how badly he needed this. Dabi’s hand held your face and his voice was a growl in your ear, warning you to keep your eyes open as Keigo fucked you. His hand came to your hip, holding you down as he drilled into you, his own soft moans covered by your loud whines and gasps as your legs shook and your nails dug into his hips. Your back arched high and you could hear Dabi chuckle softly beside you, his other hand now toying with your breasts, squeezing them roughly as Keigo kept his eyes on you. 

“Hm,” Keigo leaned down suddenly, shifting your hips to tilt them up for him, his body pressed close to yours as he brought you into a passionate kiss. “Can you cum again for me?” He asked and your words were incoherent but you nodded fast to tell him yes. You wanted to so badly, just for him. He smiled, eyes falling closed again as he kissed you, your arms wrapping around his shoulders to keep him close as you rolled your hips up against him, making him moan against your lips. Dabi grinned, sitting back a bit as he watched, your bodies tangled together and Keigo’s grip now on the bed as he held himself up just enough to keep thrusting into you, his breath suddenly harsh as he felt himself about ready. You bit onto his lip softly, not wanting him to pull from the kiss as you felt your pussy pulsing, your body shaking with your orgasm, sending him over the edge with you. He gasped, hips stopping as he pushed himself as deeply into you as possible, letting you roll your hips against him, creating friction on your aching clit as you came, pulsing around him and milking his own orgasm. 

“Ah-!” You whined, feeling his hips twitch slightly, his cock prodding against your cervix as you felt your body coming down once again. He kissed you again, his lips slow as he cupped your face gently, your bodies pulling from each other slowly. 

“Shh,” Dabi whispered into your ear as Keigo cleaned himself up, his cock dripping from a mix of your fluids as Dabi grabbed a towel to help. One of his hands rubbed your inner thigh slowly, and the other cleaned you up carefully. You twitched with every movement of the soft towel and Dabi cooed at you sweetly. Keigo put his underwear back on and laid beside you, kissing your temple softly and you could feel a bit of the sweat on your own forehead as well as his lip. You hadn’t realized until now how hot you all were. Dabi kissed across your body, reaching every mark he left behind while Keigo brushed your hair back with his fingers. Your hands reached out and you took hold of both of theirs, grinning with closed eyes as you lay with them.

[cowboybeepboop]

Hawaiian hangout

“Mm this is my favorite song, what about you Darling? Do you like it?” “It’s nice, but I don’t like slow rides, I like going fast,”

Pairing: Hangman x fem! Reader

Genre: plot with some porn

Word count: 2928

Summary: Hangman has a thing for you but your relationship with Rooster makes him jealous. You’re a badass who is the best of the best and this shows when you and Mav get into a “fight”.

A/N: I don’t usually give the reader a callsign cause I think it’s fun to make up your own but for this oneshot I made the readers callsign Darling because her superior (the guy from the academy) who gave it to her thought it was fitting because she’s innocent and sweet looking on the outside but in the sky she’ll out fight anyone in a dog fight. Basically he’d call her Daring Darling, or DD, since no one saw her as a threat at first and also because she loved the DareDevil comics. Anyways this is just some random ass info I made up, it gives nothing to this so like yeah idk I was just bored. Also I fr based the friendship on my friends and I’s relationship because I think we’re absolutely hilarious no questions asked and for some reason everyone thinks we’re dating. ALSO I WROTE THIS ENTIRE THING WHILE MY MOM WAS NEXT TO ME ON A ROAD TRIP SOS I CAN’T STAND MYSELF. Anyways saw Top Gun: Maverick for the 5th time and met some really cool older women today.

Bradley has been your best friend forever, since kindergarten when he “accidently” pulled your pigtails and you started crying. His only excuse was that they were uneven and he was trying to help, fucking idiot. He does that a lot though, he’ll try to help and end up making a bigger issue out of it, for instance this exact moment when he spilt red wine on your white dress and poured white wine on top to “even it out”. Now you’re fresh out of the shower, smelling like Bradshaw’s coconut shampoo and wine.

“Hey, Brad. Got anything I can wear? I mean after all you did wreck my dress, twice,” you giggle with a teasing smile, he scratches the back of his neck and hands you a pair of your old shorts and one of his Hawaiian shirts.

“That's all I could find, I must have left your wardrobe at my mom’s storage place.” shrugging you take the clothes from him, smiling sweetly.

“Don’t worry about it duckie,” he rolls his eyes and puts his best mom face on, standing with his hands on his hips.

“It’s Rooster, not duck,” he puts on a dramatic performance, throwing his head back, hand over his heart, “I can’t believe you don’t even know my callsign, after all of these years.” one last exaggerated sigh before he falls back on the couch.

“Damn, did the shock kill you?” your eyes light up with mischiv, as long as he’s pretending to be dead I mean you might as well, you tickle his sides watching him fight back a fit of laughter.

“Come on Y/N you should get changed, we’re supposed to go meet Phoenix soon,” he sits up grabbing your arms and pinning them to your sides with a sweet smile.

“Shit, I almost forgot about that,” you quickly grab the clothes, throwing on the shorts and his white Hawaiian shirt, leaving it unbuttoned showing off your white cropped tank top. “I think we’re actually a little late,” he grabs his keys and puts his hand on your waist pulling you out the door with him.

“Well, I intend on surprising her anyway,” he locks the door and hops in his jeep. You follow suit, getting into the passenger side sighing at the heat that hits your thighs as they touch the dark leather seats.

“This is torture, I’m burning alive,” Bradley shakes his head while starting the engine, you buckle up pulling the seatbelt under your left arm so it doesn’t sufocate you.

“That defeats the purpose of the seatbelt, you’re supposed to have it over your chest,” he teases as you glare into the side of his face.

“It’s uncomfortable, it’s suffocating my chest,” he puts his free hand on your thigh, squeezing lightly.

“I know, I just wanted to piss you off,” Bradly smiles innocently as he keeps his eyes on the road, you flip him off secretly. “I saw that, Darling” he glances over to you raising his eyebrows slightly, “You’re gonna have to be more careful next time,”.

“Ouch, you’re being real serious Bradley. You even used my callsign,” you fegin shock covering your mouth theatrically. That’s the thing about your relationship with Bradley, the majority of the time you guys are being dramatic, which really confuses people because they don’t understand your guy’s comedic geniusness.

Bradley pulls into a parking spot, he gets out of the jeep and walks over to your side of the car, opening the door and offering you his hand. You roll your eyes “You go first Brad, I’ll go in, in like a minute,” he nods his head and salutes you.

“I’ll see you in a minute then,” you wave him off pulling a thing of chapstick out and applying it, you check your phone and reply to a couple texts. Mentally preparing yourself for the loudness of the bar, sticking your phone into your pocket before climbing out of the vehicle. You run a hand through your hair while walking through the bar entrance, “Hey, Y/N over here,” Bradley calls you over while holding his stomach softly.

You go up to the bar to order two beers, you end up standing right next to Maverick, “Can I please get two beers Penny?” she nods with a sweet smile, “Oh shit, Mav I didn’t notice you earlier,”.

“Hey, Y/N, how’s it going?” He smiles while sticking his phone into his pocket.

“I’m good, how about you,” you sit down on the empty stool next to him, keeping your attention directly on him.

“I could be better,” he runs a hand through his hair, “you should head over to Bradley, he’s waiting for you.” you nod, standing up to get the beers and thank Penny, “One more thing though,”

“What is it?” you search his serious eyes looking for any hints about what he might ask of you.

“Could you maybe not tell Bradley that I’m back in town just yet?” Maverick scratches the back of his neck while his eyes go softer pleading with yours.

“Of course, Mav,” you smile and lean in for a hug, he wraps his arms around your waist gently while using his thumb to rub up and down your back. You pull back from the hug, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

You weave in between a few groups while making your way over to Rooster and Phoenix, once you get to the pool table you pull your sunglasses up leaving them on top of your head. “Here Bradley,” you hand him a beer, taking the other as you sit next to Bob, “Hey, Bobby boy. How’s the man, the myth, the legend?” he smiles as he pushes his glasses up his nose bridge. The familiar blond man turns his attention on you, looking you up and down with a small smirk.

“I’m good now that you’re here,” you smile, showing your slightly pointy canines.

“Fuck, Bob you know just how to get my heart racing,” you stare into his eyes before he looks away, a soft blush creeping up his neck.

“You know him?” Hangman questions as Bradley pops up behind you taking your glasses from your head, folding them up and hanging them on the collar of your shirt.

“Yeah, he’s my favorite weapons systems officer,” you smile while placing your hand on his shoulder. “He’s always focused and has never made a mistake, it’s too bad they don’t let me fly with an RIO anymore,” you sigh dramatically while he admires you from the side, Rooster rolls his eyes.

“You know, the higher ups would let you fly with an RIO if you weren’t such a maniac,” you pretend to be offended as you shove his arm away from your side.

“Ugh, you’re so mean to me all the time,” Hangman is not so subtly checking you out while you and Bradshaw bicker. Phoenix interrupts you two trying to stop your random argument.

“So, Y/N I’ve been wondering something for a while,” she pulls Bradley by his shirt softly, you nod at her motioning for her to continue, “why is your callsign Darling? Isn’t that kind of misogynistic?” Phoenix’s comment draws everyone’s attention to you.

You laugh softly, “It does seem like that doesn’t it? It’s just something my parents nicknamed me when I was younger and my commander thought it was fitting for me. But,” you smile softly, “People usually call me DD,”.

“Before you ask the meaning of that,” Rooster laughs, “you’ll have to wait until you see her fly to fully understand.” He sounds like a proud dad while talking about you.

“I also have a question,” Coyote raises his eyebrows, “Why are you wearing Roosters shirt?”.

“He ruined the dress I was wearing earlier,” you shrug and Coyote’s eyes slightly widen as he coughs. Hangman’s jaw clenches while he narrows his eyes on Bradley.

Slow ride starts playing, “Mm this is my favorite song, what about you Darling? Do you like it?” Hangman smirks flashing his perfect white teeth.

“It’s nice, but I don’t like slow rides, I like going fast,” you swipe your tongue over your bottom lip keeping an intense stare on Hangman.

Penny rings the bell again, Hangman, Coyote, Payback, and Fanboy take Mav out. You chew on your cheek while going over to the bar, “Hey, Pen, I’ll pay Mav’s tab,” she hands you the check.

“It’s a pretty big bill,” she warns you but you already had your wallet pulled out, you hand her your card.

“It’s fine, I have a lot saved up,” you smile sweetly, Bradley pulls the cord on the jukebox, taking his beer over to the piano.

“Are you sure, love?” you nod, she swipes the card and then hands it back to you with the receipt. Rooster motions for you to come over.

You go over to him and he sings to you “You broke my will, but what a thrill,” Bradley pulls you onto his lap and you start singing with him.

“Kiss me baby,” you hold his cheeks, kissing him on the forehead, “Ooh, that feels good, baby”, he smirks looking you up and down. You giggle as you continue to sing in sync with him, nodding your head with the beat of the song. Hangman clenches his fists, sucking his teeth, shifting his jaw in anger.

_________

Things between you and Maverick have been a little tense since he found out about how you paid his tab, not to mention the tension between him and Rooster putting even more strain on your friendship with Maverick. The funny thing is Maverick told you not to fly like you usually do, you’re way more skilled in dog fighting than the rest of the pilots from your previous training and missions, your goal is to train for the mission with the rest of the team rather than gain more skills; however, Maverick went ahead and pushed your buttons. You’re the first pilot up which means you’re supposed to lose like everyone else and do the 200 push ups, but with Maverick’s intensity and Bob’s encouragement you’ve found yourself flying like your life depends on it.

Maverick’s plane is right on your ass, both hands grab your centre stick, pulling toward your midsection. Your plane shoots up, “Holy shit,” Hangman's voice rings through your ears as you switch directions heading straight for Mav. He pulls up trying to level with you, you flip upside down, narrowly missing his “shot”, you push the centre stick opposite of your body swooping low.

Maverick locates you once again, he creeps closer to your tail, before you hastily pull up. You’re upside down (again) hovering over Mavericks plane, “Fuck she’s on his fucking tail,” Hangman is sat back watching you two fight.

Your engine stalls and you direct your plane away from Maverick’s, you’re headed straught for the ground, “Fucking hell, my engine stopped,” you keep hitting the buttons grabbing your centre stick, still none of your efforts make a difference.

“Eject, Y/N eject right now,” Maverick yells as he follows your tail, at this point you’re hitting the hard deck.

You’re finally able to gain control of the engine again, you pull up as fast as you can. Your plane zooms past Maverick, your hands shake as you put your aim on Maverick and the beeping starts to ring out, “I gotcha Mav,”.

“Y/N get out of the sky, now.” you can hear the anger in his strong tone, your planes all touch the ground. You get out of the vehicle, hands shaking as your feet touch the ground, Mav runs over to you.

“Why the fuck did you not eject? What if you couldn’t gain control of your F-18?” you fall back on the ground, laying against the boiling pavement.

“I don’t know, can you stop yelling though. My head hurts,” you close your eyes, chest rising and falling quickly, your arms and legs feeling like jello. The rest of the team rushes down over to you and Maverick, he stays stood over you staring down at you.

“You’re reckless,” he says in a silvery tone, “you could have been seriously injured, or even killed,” Maverick nearly yells at the end of his sentence.

“In my defense I’m tired of doing push ups, I’m an amazing dog fighter I don’t even need any more training. I've already got two confirmed kills. That’s half of what you’ve got Mav, I’m good and I’m not cocky.” you sigh out, lifting your head to look at him as you sit up, “I’m fine with not winning against you or being the best but shit you’re getting on my nerves,” Rooster comes over and helps you stand up.

“Hangman, take Y/N inside and get her some water,” Mav pinches the bridge of his nose while using his other hand to wave you and Hangman off.

You unzip your uniform while walking towards the locker room, Hangman is a couple steps behind you keeping a close eye on you to make sure you don’t fall.

“Hey Darling, why doesn’t Maverick use your callsign?” Jake’s hand rests on your back as he opens the door for you, his body getting impossibly close to yours. “I mean he uses Roosters, it doesn’t make much sense that he doesn’t use yours,” he says voice barely over a whisper.

“I was his right hand man in a mission once and because he named me, my mom couldn’t think of a good name so she asked him,” you shrug, walking into the locker room peeling off your uniform that’s drenched in sweat.

“You were really good up there,” Hangman presses up against your back, arms wrapping around your waist as he breathes against your neck softly.

“Hangman, what are you doing?” his hand moves down to your thighs, spreading them a little. You instinctively lean back against him, throwing your head back on his shoulder.

“Darling, you can stop me whenever you want,” he kisses your neck softly, “and please, call me Jake,” he whispers into your ear sending shivers down your body. He moves to sit down on the bench pulling you onto his lap.

“Are you okay with this?” you nod enthusiastically, biting down on your lip roughly, “No love, I need to hear you say it,” he pulls his hands back from your body.

“Fuck, please Jake. I want this, I want you,” you put his hands back on your thighs, spreading your legs for him.

“Good girl,” he smiles, biting your earlobe softly, receiving a soft moan from you. Jake pulls your soaked panties to the side, sliding his index finger between your pussy lips before landing it on your clit. He rubs slow circles around your bundle of nerves, changing the amount of pressure from time to time. You grip onto his upper arm roughly, squeezing your eyes shut tightly as your body presses into his. Pleasure shoots down your spine causing your body to shake softly, biting down on your lip you snake your other hand up to his hair pulling at the roots.

Hangman uses his free hand to grab something from his pocket, “You know Darlin’, you dropped something yesterday,” he whispers into your ear. “I didn’t think much of it, so I picked it up. But there’s something curious about this lipstick container,” fucking hell, there’s no way I dropped it here. You think to yourself while trying to stay focused on his words.

“You can imagine my shock when I opened it and..” he takes the cap off, sliding the base to the side, the dreaded quiet vibration filling your ears. He smirks against your neck as he begins peppering kisses against the warm sensitive skin.

“Fuck,” Jakes movements were overwhelming, giving you zero opportunity to come up with an excuse, “I can totally explain why I have that,” your hole pulses around air, grasping for some sort of friction.

He presses the tip of the vibrator against the spot he's been massaging, swirling it around in steady circles while keeping a consistent rough pressure. “Jake,” you pant out his name, moaning into his ear.

“Is my pretty girl close?” he uses his free hand to knead one of your breasts through your shirt, you nod against his shoulder, “You’re so naughty, do you like that Rooster could walk in at any minute and see how good I make you feel?” he tightens his jaw at his mention of your chaotic friend.

You squeeze your legs tight around his hand, feeling close to your climax. He spreads your legs with one hand and his knee, “You’re being so good for me Darling, don’t disappoint me now,” he bites down on your neck softly. Jake increases the amount of pressure he’s using, causing waves of euphoria from your head to your toes.

Soft moans spill from your lips, your toes curling as the knot in your stomach snaps, Jake pulls your chin to move your lips against his. Your lips mesh passionately as he keeps pushing your orgasm, eyebrows scrunching together as overwhelming pleasure fills your body, like a warm cup of hot cocoa after a long time in the snow.

“Good girl, Darling you’re so good for me,” he whispers against your ear, he begins wiping up the warm liquid with a handkerchief from his pocket. “We need to get you cleaned up before anyone notices how long we’ve been gone for.” Jake kisses down your neck before pushing you up off his lap.

[starfishlikestoread]

@mouseinamushroomhouse you asked me for a Simon Illyan playlist nearly a year ago, and I'm proud to report it is finally done! I hope you and anyone else who listens to it enjoys!! :)

(shoutout to @cookie-nom-nom for suggesting the song Time Machine and @trelldraws for the McCartney and National recs, as well as putting up with me randomly sending various songs and helping figure out which ones fit and didn't. More musings about the process & specifics under the cut!)

With this playlist I really focused on keeping the length down, since I wanted every song to count and ideally keep the whole thing around an hour in length. This resulted in a lot of songs that kind-of-but-not-really fit Simon having to get cut, which was painful but made the fanmix better in the end, and part of the reason why this whole thing took so long, hah. I did however save them all in a separate playlist, so if after listening to the main one y'all want to see what didn't make the cut, feel free to listen here (do know it's not in anything resembling order, though).

With that said, it was a conscious decision to devote 3 whole songs to the chip breakdown, because I feel like while objectively it didn't take up 18% of his life, subjectively in the moment I think it probably felt that way for him.

The first and last songs really serve as bookends to the playlist for me. With the first not even fully a song, rather a spoken word 3rd POV narrative about a robot and last one literally named 'Simon', it felt right thematically about how he sees himself. I'm not sure if we get any explicit musings about the chip from him in that light in canon, but Tej's line about his "super-humanity ... or super-inhumanity" stood out to me in that regard. Especially since it's all but said that he didn't have much of a say in getting it installed in the first place, did he ever feel like the robot people considered him to be? And how did that change?

At the same time, there's so much more to Simon than just his chip, and I hope that shows through the songs I picked as well (if you look at the dates added, you can see I only found 'Until It Kills' yesterday, and that finally completed the playlist for me). I wish I'd found a song that managed to convey him & Miles as a team specifically, but that proved surprisingly difficult as so many songs of that nature seem to be written with a direct parent-child relationship in mind. Still, I'll add it if I ever find it.

ALSO, so damn hard to find songs with spy-related lyrics, I've used so many different search terms and engines and still nearly every result is instrumental music or about a specific incident. I think I have enough in here that it works, and I'm sure those songs exist somewhere, but the internet in all its glory did not choose to reveal them to me (if you know any I'd love to have a listen, I probably won't be adding them to this playlist however as I really just want to be done with this mini-project asdfghjkl).

Edit: aa I forgot to say the one specific thing I wanted to, which is how the line "play dirty" in the song with the same name for me really links back to Galeni's line in Memory: "Damn but Illyan fights dirty when he fights" <3 that's my guy,,

And as said in the description of the playlist, first few songs are very much inspired by the fic Aral Vorkosigan's Dog by Philomytha (since it might as well be canon for me).

And finally, for fun, my top 5 favourite lines that just feel so Simon Illyan to me out of every song in the playlist:

"But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home / Sitting all alone inside your head" - Through Glass by Stone Sour "With the hands of time around my neck" - Hourglass by Motionless In White "Nano-electrodes pulse the thrum / One note to beat my heart, beat my heart, like a drum" - Yes I Know by The Pack a.d. "I testify if I die in my sleep" - Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea by Fall Out Boy "Keep them safe inside your home / If it kills you" - Until It Kills by Midtown

If you've read this far, thank you, and do let me know what you think of the playlist and if there are any songs/lines that stood out to you, I'd love to know <3

[crimsonedquill]

Lost Love Pt. 2 (Ominis Gaunt x f!reader)

Tags: some angst, hurt/comfort

By popular demand, I'm back to deliver maximum emotional damage!

So yes, this is a fic to wrap up my previous Sebastian x jealous f!reader angst post (which I didn't expect to return to tbf!). Like I mentioned previously, making my foray into writing sebby content has been fun, but I'm going to try to focus on other characters for a bit now. (Will still do HCs and drabbles for him, though)

Thanks for all the love and positive feedback 🖤

The funeral of Solomon Sallow was attended by just three – Anne, Ominis, and you. Anne had first insisted on doing it all by herself, though you were glad Ominis had been able to convince her otherwise, seeing as she was in no fit state to bear this alone.

You held her as she paid her last respects. She placed a black rose on the freshly dug soil before turning her tear-streaked face to Ominis. “Ominis, would you…”

“Of course,” Ominis said, inclining his head. He stepped forward and drew a deep breath, taking a moment to find the right words before he proceeded. “Solomon Sallow was… flawed, like any one of us. He was a man of great passion and conviction, and his ways could often be brash and fiery. But let us not mistake his gruffness for malice, for his love for his kin knew no bounds. His every action was driven by a deep and abiding desire to protect and care for those he held dear. Let us find comfort in the knowledge that he died as he lived, standing between his family and adversity.”

He stepped back and the three of you stood in silence, the only sound coming from the wind blowing over the small hill. As Anne leaned her head on your shoulder to cry, you felt the familiar onset of doubt consume you. Part of you wished Sebastian was there with you, though you couldn’t say why – was it because you felt he had a right to, or because you wanted him to suffer, to feel the consequences of his deeds? You couldn’t say for certain. These past few days, you’d been experiencing so many emotions that it was often like you weren’t feeling anything at all. You’d give everything for a good cry right now.

After a few minutes, Anne said she was ready to leave and you led her back to the house, Ominis wandering beside you. Once you were inside, the frail girl sank into a chair, clutching her side as she winced. “Thank… thank you both, for everything. I’ll be forever in your debt.”

“Nonsense,” Ominis said. “It’s the least I could have done to repay you for your kindness over the years. I’m sure Y/N feels the same way.”

You nodded. “It’s no trouble at all, Anne. And I just want to say, if you change your mind about leaving –”

The Sallow girl shook her head resolutely. “I know you worry, but I need to do this. There’s nothing left for me here, and… I don’t know if I’ll ever find it in my heart to forgive my brother for what he’s done. I just need to get away and think for a very long time.”

“Know that you can always write us if you’re ever in need of counsel, or anything at all really,” Ominis said. “Please take good care of yourself, Anne.”

Anne nodded softly, and the two of you said your goodbyes. You were grateful for the breeze of fresh air once you stepped outside, though it did little to loosen the iron glove tightly closed around your heart.

“You did well back there,” you said to Ominis. “Those were beautiful words.”

“I hope it gave her some comfort, at the very least. Though if I were to be fully honest, nothing about this feels right.”

“I’ll say. You think she’ll be all right?”

“I do,” he answered, his voice lacking scepticism to your relief. “She’s stronger than she appears. Now, tell me, how are you feeling?”

You shuffled your feet, not even daring to meet his empty gaze. “I’m not certain it matters how I’m feeling at the moment.”

“It matters to me. Just because Anne chooses to bear this on her own does not mean that you have to as well. We only have each other to rely on now, it would be foolish to squander that –”

It happened within a matter of seconds. You hadn’t meant to kiss him; the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. Yet before you could even process what was happening, you could feel Ominis’ lips touching yours, a maelstrom of thoughts and feelings scrambling your mind. Both of your breaths were heavy when you pulled apart.

You were the first to speak up: “I… I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have done that –”

“We shouldn’t have,” he agreed. “But I… I think I understand. You must feel confused about a lot of things right now.”

“I do, but that shouldn’t be an excuse. Let’s just… forget about this and head back to the castle, all right?”

He agreed. You didn’t bring up the subject again on your way back, though you noticed how your eyes kept drifting off to look at his profile. You wondered if he was thinking the same thing you were thinking; that somehow, it had felt right.

— — —

You had not seen Sebastian ever since Professor Weasley had excused him from his regular schedule to give him time to mourn his uncle, though this didn’t mean his presence wasn’t hanging over you, like a dark spectre. In fact, the longer the hollow feeling in your chest persisted, the more you became convinced it was stemming from your inability to confront him. You briefly considered asking Ominis to accompany you to see him, but eventually you gathered all of your courage and went to his dorm alone, your heart rapidly beating in your chest when you knocked on the door.

“What do you want?” a bitter voice sounded from inside. You felt something sting, like a needle – he sounded almost like a completely different person. You pushed the door open and stepped inside, finding yourself face to face with Sebastian Sallow – or what was left of him. His hair was unkempt, he had bags under his eyes and his once rosy cheeks had paled to the point where you could almost see through him. It occurred to you that you only now realised what a human shell looked like.

“Y/N!” He stood up from his bed so fast that he knocked over the pile of books sitting next to it. You were thankful for the interruption, if only so you didn’t have to look him in the eye. You picked up one of the books and handed it over to him. “I see you’ve taken up reading again.”

“I never stopped. Anne’s situation hasn’t changed. I can’t give up on her, not now she needs me the most.”

“After everything that happened?” you asked, trying not to sound too scornful. “You do realise that your unbridled pursuit of any means to cure your sister was what led to all this trouble in the first place, right?”

“Of course I do!” he snapped back, his face contorting with anger. “But you honestly can’t expect me to –”

You don’t know what it was that snapped him back to reality, but the gaze in his eyes suddenly softened, and he sank onto the bed as he scratched his head. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to shout at you.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “You need to give yourself time to grieve. All of this, the guilt you’re bearing – you might not want to admit it, but it’s consuming you.”

“No,” he said, beginning to ramble again. “No, I can’t. Anne is depending on me. I must –”

“Sebastian.” You were surprised at the power in your own voice, as was he. “Listen to me. Your sister is leaving.”

“Leaving?” He looked at you in confusion. “To where?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere far away from Feldcroft.”

“But… I don’t understand.” The sudden panic in his voice made you swallow, though you tried to keep a straight face. “How can – why hasn’t she told me anything?”

“Do you need me to spell it out for you?” you said icily. “She can’t bear the thought of her own brother being a murderer, Sebastian. That’s why. She doesn’t want to face you because she isn’t sure she will ever be able to forgive you for what happened.”

The rising tension in the air was palpable as you stood there, waiting for his response. You watched him, trying to read his face for any signs that reality was dawning on him, but what had once been second nature to you now seemed like an impossible task. Your heart sank as you saw his features hardening, darkness returning to his eyes.

“This was Ominis, wasn’t it?” he asked. “He put her up to this.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “After all this, your only response is to blame your friend?” you asked, not knowing whether to be mad or shocked.

“Some ‘friend’,” Sebastian seethed. “He’s been against me right from the beginning. Pretending to care, just to stab me in the back in the end.”

“He lied just so you wouldn’t have to go to Azkaban for what you did!” you yelled.

“And I suppose I ought to be grateful? Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t need his sympathies – and the same goes for you.”

At last, you felt something inside you giving away, perhaps the last piece of the wall between your lingering feelings and the rising tide of anger that had been consuming you for weeks. When you spoke, your voice was steady, but chillingly cold. “You should know that I dreaded facing you today. I was terrified of seeing my friend hurting like this – the boy who’d always been watching over me since I was little, who never once hesitated to stand up for me even if it got him into trouble. The boy who I knew I cared much more for than a friend, even though I never dared confess that to him, because our companionship was dearer to me than my personal feelings. But I think I’ll rest a whole lot easier now that I know that person is gone. Goodbye, Sebastian.”

You left without giving him an opportunity to respond. Tears were burning in the corners of your eyes, and by the time you had reached your own dorm they were flowing freely, spilling memories of a dead past.

— — —

It was practically a miracle that you managed to pass most of your O.W.L.s after everything that had transpired in the last couple of weeks, though you mostly credited it to Sebastian slowly disappearing from your mind. Ominis and you had helped each other through it, studying together until late in the evening and questioning each other at breakfast, and at last your letters arrived, informing you both that you had cleared all of your required classes. Now, you found yourself in the Slytherin common room, chuckling to yourself as you watched a mildly intoxicated Imelda standing on a table with a mug of Butterbeer in her hand, leading the crowd in chanting house songs. You quietly left for some fresh air, spotting a familiar face out on the viaduct.

“Good evening,” you smiled as you approached Ominis. “The choice of music tonight wasn’t to your liking?”

“That was supposed to be music?” he retorted.

You chuckled as you stood next to him, leaning against the short wall. It was a beautiful night out, the light of a bright moon dancing on the ripples of the quiet lake. You were content to just stand there without saying anything, but then he spoke up: “I heard you spoke to Sebastian. I chose not to bring it up because I didn’t want you to be distracted, but –”

“Please, can we just not –” You sighed before recollecting yourself. “I just… I want to stop thinking about him. He’s made his choices and I’ve made my peace with that.”

He turned his head slightly in your direction. “Have you?”

“I thought I could save him, that there was something I could say to get him to change, to see the error of his ways… but then I realised that I was just feeding into my own delusion. I care about him, and I still think that I would give him my forgiveness if he sincerely asked for it, but his burden isn’t mine to carry. He needs to find his way out of this on his own. And I need to think about my own future as well.”

He was silent for a moment, as if to weigh your words. You noticed you were slightly nervous to hear his judgement, but he simply nodded. “I feel the same way. The best course of action for us to take right now is to focus on our own healing, lest we’re doomed to repeat the mistakes that led us here.”

You looked at your feet. “I’ve been giving all of it a great deal of thought lately. Some things more than others.”

“Such as?”

“What a potential future could look like, for you, and me.” You felt a familiar warmth in your stomach. You’d never paid much attention to it, but you had to admit Ominis was quite handsome, his almost noble features illuminated by the pale moonlight. “I was hesitant to bring it up because I feared I was simply looking for consolation after Sebastian… but then I realised there is more to it than that. You’ve always cared for me, Ominis. I wouldn’t blame you for desiring to stay friends after everything that happened, but I want to be candid about my feelings… this time.”

You took a deep, shivering breath. “I think I’m in love with you.”

He didn’t reply at first, clearly taken slightly aback by your confession. Then he leaned forward and easily found your lips, as if his blindness wasn’t a hindrance at all. He gently cupped your cheek as you kissed, his other hand reaching down to hold yours, squeezing it to put you at ease, to offer you the comfort of his warmth.

Eventually, he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours.

“I don’t know where this will lead us,” he said. “But I would very much like to find out.”

“I’d like that too,” you smiled.

— — —

“Will you write to me?”

You had to slightly raise your voice to avoid being drowned out by the noise coming from the locomotive and the excited chatter of the students around you. Ominis smiled, reaching out his hand as an invitation for you to grab it. You took it, rubbing his palm with your thumb.

“Of course I will,” he assured you. “Every day, if need be.”

You stood on your toes to press a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you,” you replied, thankfulness sounding through in your voice, “for being patient with me. I’ll admit I was afraid, but –”

“You owe me no explanation,” he replied. “I simply wish the best for you. We can take as long as you need.”

You chuckled. “Where did you learn to be such a gentleman?”

“There are some secrets I cannot divulge, even to you, my dearest. Now, you should probably be on your way.”

“Yeah, probably…” You took his other hand, the thought of letting him go paining your heart. You looked into his pale eyes. “I’ll miss you, Ominis.”“We will be seeing each other again before you know it,” he said. And as you once again closed your eyes and felt his lips against yours, you felt safe, knowing that somehow, everything would be all right.

— — —

“We’re here,” the coachman announced. Sebastian muttered a quick thanks before stepping off, pulling up his hood to shield himself from the rain. After the coach departed, he turned around and began to walk toward the lone house in the distance.

He had meant to say goodbye to them. He’d been practising it in his head for days – what to say, how to best put his thoughts on everything that happened. How to convey his sincerity when he apologised for everything he’d put them through. He wouldn’t have expected them to forgive him right away, but he had at least hoped it could be their first step on their long way to healing.

He’d changed his mind and left as soon as he had seen them share a kiss.

It wasn’t that he was upset, or mad at them. If any, he would say he had been more or less expecting her to turn to Ominis after what he’d done to her. Still, he regretted that it had taken the sight of his best friends finding comfort in each other for him to finally get a sense of the damage he had inflicted. They were all gone now – his uncle, Anne, his friends. Driven away, all by his own fault.

Had it been worth it? Had it been worth chasing after false hope, burning everything he had held dear?

He opened the door. His feet crossed the threshold, leaving muddy puddles on the floor. His footsteps echoed through the silence, the sole sound in a space devoid of life.

He was alone.

[monako-jinn-stories]

Crosshair X Fem!Reader FanFic

It Started with a Vacation

Main Master List

Story Master List

Chapter Thirty Three

Chapter Thirty Five

Chapter Thirty Four

You wake up early and throw on some casual clothes before meeting up with Sans in the courtyard. He’d asked the day before to join you in picking up Cyar’ika from Mrs. Dure since Codo had to take Tayah off somewhere, and you of course agreed. He’s wearing comfortable clothes that accentuate his physique, and his skin glows beautifully in the early morning light. He turns to you when he hears your approach, and his smile is warm as he takes you in. “Good morning, Queen Monako,” he says, “are you ready to be escorted to pick up your daughter?”

You huff and roll your eyes at his formality, a smile breaking across your lips. “Of course, Commander Sans. Thank you for waking up so early to ensure my safe travels.”

He takes your hand into his and pulls you slightly closer by it. “I’d wake up any time to ensure your safety,” he replies with a kiss to the top of your hand, “and I’d do anything for you.” You can’t help but fluster at his words, his flirting giving you a new feeling since Crosshair left you broken hearted. His hands brushing against your cheek doesn’t help, either. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine,” you reply, “a bit fitful because I’m nervous about today. I realized half of these games, if not all of them, aren’t really fit for someone Cyar’ika’s age,” you admit. 

“I’m sure she’ll still enjoy being there,” he replies, “all her uncles will be spoiling her, so it can’t get much better than that.”

“Well, not all of them,” you correct with a laugh, “there’s about two million more of you that don’t even know of her existence.”

“Alright then, her favorite uncles,” he clarifies teasingly, “since you want to be so accurate.”

“Hey now, I was just correcting you,” you defend with a giggle.

He huffs and folds his arms sassily, saying “whatever,” like a teenager would. You nudge his side playfully before deciding to take off, surprising him before he runs after you. “I can’t protect you if you run from me!” he calls after you, and you just laugh loudly as you enjoy the feeling of the early morning breeze whipping around you. 

When you finally stop, you're breathing hard, but your body feels like it’s buzzing. You haven’t had that much fun in a while, even if it’s just playfully running from Sans. When he catches up to you, you’re surprised that he wraps his arms around you and picks you up. You let out a yelp before laughing some more as he twirls you around, holding you up in the air and watching you with his own laughs falling out endlessly. 

In the moment, the entire galaxy falls away from you. You forget about the war. You forget about Dohbar. You forget about Crosshair and Cyar’ika. In that moment, it’s just you and Sans, and you feel whole. Your heart swells with love and you want to stay in this moment forever, just you and Sans.

Before you know what’s happening, Sans’s lips meet yours, and your eyes subconsciously flutter closed at the contact. Your lips move in tandem with his, and your hand tangles into his curls. A sigh leaves you as his hands rest on your waist, pulling you gently closer to press into his chest. When he pulls away, his eyes sparkle with so much love, and you can’t help but melt into his hand that is now resting on your cheek.

“Y/n…I love you…so much.”

You blush, the words making a smile paint your face. “I…I know, Sans,” you reply before looking down and swallowing hard. “And…I love y-”

Suddenly, it seems as though time has skipped and you’ve just woken up again to find yourself at Mrs. Dure’s place. The smell of fresh bread baking fills the air as Sans opens the door for you, and when you walk in, giggles meet your ears. “Mama!” Cyar’ika calls out in her small voice, a toothy grin lighting up her face. 

“How is my little Cyar’ika?” you ask while walking over and going to pick her up. She notices Sans, however, and bolts away from you to run to him.

“Up!” she commands, and Sans chuckles before reaching down and picking her up, setting her onto his shoulders. “Woo!” she cheers, and Sans begins jogging around the inside, making her giggle even more. Your heart swells again as you watch the two of them, hearing their laughs and the absolute joy on their faces. When he comes to a stop, Cyar’ika’s face is glowing from her laughs, and you can’t help but wish she could laugh like that every day.

“Mama?” she says, turning to face you while holding onto Sans’s head, “can Sans be my papa?”

You gasp slightly, eyes darting to the man who is now staring at you. His eyes are wide and he blinks at you a few times before chuckling and turning to gaze at Cyar’ika. “Cyare, you already have a papa,” he says with a chuckle.

She pouts, her bottom lip sticking out before she shakes her head. “I don’t want that papa, I want you!”

Your heart breaks and you can’t decide how to feel. You love Sans, you truly do, but you can’t take Cyar’ika away from Crosshair more than you already have. She hasn’t even met him yet. 

Sans looks to you, his eyes gently asking for help. “Cyar’ika,” you say, “Sans is your uncle, but he can be the best uncle there is. You can view him as a father figure, like how I view Codo as one. Would you be happy with that?”

“I guess,” she huffs, dropping her chin onto Sans’s head. 

“Cheer up, Cyare,” Sans says, “I’ll buy you a treat. It is your birthday, after all, and you’re my little birthday princess!”

She giggles again and points over to the counter where the tasty treats are sitting behind glass. Sans kneels down to let her get a better look, and you smile softly as you watch them.

“You really should consider this one,” Mrs. Dure says as she sweeps the floor behind you, “he’s a good man, and a good soldier. He could provide well for the two of you,” she adds while glancing at Cyar’ika giggling in his arms. You look at them as well, and watch as their noses boop together, bright smiles covering both of their faces. The sun gleams in, making them almost glow as they dance around the place, their laughter the most beautiful song to you-

BEEP! Wake up! BEEP! Wake up!

You jump awake, heart pounding as your alarm scares you. You stare up at the ceiling for a moment before you groan into your hands, reaching over and shutting the alarm off. Sighing, you shiver out of bed and immediately change into warm clothes before going to get ready for the day. You don’t notice the flash of lightning outside of your room, but you definitely hear the sound of the thunder as it shakes the palace. 

“Oh, for karks sake,” you grumble, knowing that no one will be wanting to have an entire birthday party in the pouring rain. Your troopers deal with the elements enough as it is, plus you don’t need anyone getting sick. And Cyar’ika doesn’t need to track mud through the palace again, you received an angry transmission from Kwol about it the last time.

A knock at your door startles you and you head to answer it as your toothbrush hangs from your mouth. “Morning, sleeping beauty,” Sans says as he grins cheekily at you, “ready to go get Cyar’ika?”

“Does it look like I’m ready?” you mumble around the toothbrush, and he shrugs while chuckling softly.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you brushed your teeth on the way. Though, we might want to make it quick, the rain was sudden and it doesn’t look like it’ll let up any time soon.”

“Perfect,” you reply before going to the bathroom to spit. You rinse your mouth briefly before leaving the bathroom to put on a pair of boots. “I have no idea what to do now. Everything’s pretty much ruined.”

“We’ll come up with something, don’t worry,” Sans says, “the boys are already on it.”

“Thanks,” you sigh in relief, knowing that they’ll come up with something perfect. You huff, remembering a bit of the dream you’d had. You look at Sans as you walk together, and you wish you could see what dream you saw. Or maybe you do, maybe it’s just too soon after Crosshair.

“Y/n?” Sans asks, waving his hand in front of your face. “Hello?”

“Huh?” you say, shaking your head and turning away as your face heats up with embarrassment. 

“You were staring at me as if I was the sun,” he chuckles, “did you finally have a moment of realization that I am your true love?”

“Something like that,” you mumble, “I had a dream where you were. We were in love, it was kinda nice.”

“Wanna try it out sometime?” he says, slinking his arm around your waist.

You huff, pushing his arm off of you and smirking at him. “Yeah, just give me about sixty more years.”

Sans lets out a dramatic sigh and flails his arms up. “You’re killing me, y/n,” he says. You just giggle to yourself as he continues to joke around, and when you reach the doors you sigh as the rain pours outside. “Do you have anything to cover up with?” Sans asks, and you nod before heading to a closet to grab a couple umbrellas, making sure to bring the small one for Cyar’ika as well as a pair of rubber boots for her. 

The city is empty as you walk to Mrs. Dures and lightning strikes in the distance. Water splashes onto your shoes and you hurry through the rain to make it to the desert part of the city. You can feel the air getting more dry as you get closer, and soon enough sand is mixing in with the grass. 

“I’ve always wondered how your planet changes biomes so quickly,” Sans thinks aloud, “it just doesn’t feel natural to me.”

“Dohbar has a lot of secrets that many people will never know or understand,” you reply, “I can’t say I truly understand it either.”

“Really? Not even the queen knows all of her planet's secrets?” Sans teases while nudging your side. 

“Nope,” you respond casually, shaking off your umbrella when you’re finally clear of the rain. “Science isn’t really my thing anyway. I’m stuck with boring politics.”

“Would you be into science if you had a choice?” 

You think for a moment, considering all the things you had learned in school as a child. You never paid too much attention to anything other than politics and Dohbars history, since you had grown up with your parents pounding into your head that you were the future of the kingdom. “I don’t really know,” you finally respond, “I’d have to go back to school and learn about everything again to know what I’d truly want to do. That is, given I wasn't a queen or Jedi.”

“I think you’d be a lovely model,” Sans says cheekily.

“I know you do,” you reply with an amused huff. “No flirting with me in front of my daughter, she might think that you’re going to become her stepdad.”

“Aww, would that really be so terrible?” Sans questions while throwing his arm around your shoulder.

You jokingly shove his arm off and grin at him. “Yes, yes it would be,” you tease before sticking your tongue out and sprinting off toward Mrs. Dure’s. Sans doesn’t take long to catch up, and soon it’s a race to the destination.

When you reach Mrs. Dure’s, sweat is trickling down you and Sans’ faces. You laugh breathlessly as you both try to catch your breath. “Y’know, you’re the only woman who has ever run from me,” Sans chuckles when he can make words again.

“I’m pretty sure I’m the only woman you’ve ever tried to catch,” you snicker back.

“I suppose you’re not wrong there,” Sans agrees before holding the door open for you, “after you, my Queen.”

You walk in with a playful eye roll, the delicious smells floating to your nose. Cyar’ika’s giggles come from the kitchen, and you walk over to the counter and ring the bell to get her and Mrs. Dure’s attention. Cyar’ika waddles out with a tiny apron and chef's hat on, and you giggle sweetly at the adorable sight as she climbs onto a stool. “What do you want?” she asks in a friendly tone, and you put a finger to your lip, pretending to look at the menu. 

“I think I’ll have a birthday cake for a special birthday girl,” you reply with a grin. She jumps down, racing to the back, her hat bouncing in her head as she goes. 

“She really is adorable,” Sans says with a chuckle, “she definitely gets her cuteness from you.”

“Really? I’m so surprised that you would think that,” you laugh. You hear some movement and look around the corner as Mrs. Dure comes out carrying Cyar’ika’s birthday cake.

“The little princess helped me design it,” she says sweetly while presenting it to you. “I think you have a little artist on your hands.”

You and Sans both look at it in wonder, amazed at how well she had done for such a young age. “Have you been practicing art, ‘Rika?”

“Mhmm,” she nods quickly, “uncle Kwol teach me.”

“Well then, I suppose we’ll have to show him how well you’ve done,” you reply with a smile before looking at Sans. “I wonder if his art lessons are why I’ve always got so much paperwork to do.”

“Maybe,” he says, “I would say it does look like it. I never knew he was an artist, though.”

“All the paintings in the palace were done by him,” you explain, “even original portraits of long dead royals were done by him. Granted, he did copy them with the originals as his subject.”

“Well, I guess there’s more secrets to Dohbar than I realized,” Sans comments before looking down at Cyar’ika. She’s standing at his feet, arms up while doing grabby-hands. “Does my little angel want up?” he chuckles before bending over to hold her on his hip. 

“No! Up more!” Cyar’ika says. 

Sans chuckles again before setting her down and turning her back to him. “Ready?” he asks, and she nods before he lifts her up and places her on his shoulders. 

She cheers and claps before grabbing his ears. “Home!” she says while pulling slightly. Sans winces quietly and nods his head. 

“You alright with the cake?” he asks you, and you nod while taking it from Mrs. Dure. 

“Thank you for making her cake, and watching over her,” you say to her. “Are you sure you don’t want to come to the party? We can cover for the profit you miss out on.”

“I would love to, my queen, but you know me,” Mrs. Dure chuckles, “besides, I can’t let my customers miss me. Unless that one handsome clone will be there.”

“Of course I will,” Sans replies with a wink, and Mrs. Dure playfully whacks him with a towel.

“She’s talking about Hunter,” you giggle, “and no. Unfortunately he won’t be there.”

“Ah, well, next time they come to visit, let me know,” she says with a wink, “I’d like to see that fine piece of man again before it’s my time.”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Dure,” you say, “you’ll see him plenty more times. We should get going, now, but thank you again!”

“It was my pleasure,” she smiles before waving as the three of you head out. 

On the way back to the palace, Sans sings and jokes around with Cyar’ika, making her giggle almost every second of the way. When you reach the rainy area, he slips her rain boots on, even though he’s still carrying her, and holds the umbrella up over them both, with her help, of course. 

You can’t help but catch glimpses of them from the corner of your eye and feel a deep sadness. Deep in your heart, you wish you could have fallen for Sans and had a family with him. You know he would be a great father, and a great lover as well. But you’d fallen for another man, and now Sans can only be an uncle to your daughter. 

When you get inside, you hurry up and take the cake to the dining area for Ahnimaka to set up with everything else. “Wow! That is amazing!” she says as she admires it, “she really did that herself?”

“Well, at least part of it,” you say while sneaking a roll while she’s distracted. “She told us that Kwol has been giving her art lessons. I didn’t know that.”

“Well, it was supposed to be a surprise for you, eventually,” Ahni says while counting over the rolls and giving you a quick glare. “We wanted her to be able to do something quite amazing for you when she was older and have it be a big surprise.”

“You still could, I mean it’s not like I’ll know what it’s of,” you say while stuffing a cookie in your pocket. “I’ll go tell all the boys to come look at the cake, in turns so that you’re not overwhelmed with all of them,” you laugh.

“It’s too bad that there’s not enough for everyone,” she says before a helper comes in.

“Queen Monako, Senator Caree,” she says, “Mrs. Dure has arrived with a…cart full of cake.” You and Ahni exchange a look before rushing outside to see what she meant. It was exactly as she said, there was Mrs. Dure, a bright and happy smile on her face, with plenty more cakes for all of your troopers to enjoy.

“Mrs. Dure,” you say in shock, “when did-how?? Who paid for this?”

“It was a little surprise present for my favorite little niece,” Kwol says while stepping from around the cart. “And of course, I had to make sure all the guests were provided for.”

You look at the amount of cakes in wonder, slowly shaking your head as you do. “Well, let’s get them inside before the rain ruins them,” you say after a few moments. Kwol nods and continues to push the cart inside, and Mrs. Dure walks with you and Ahni to the kitchen. “You two need to stop spoiling Cyar’ika so much,” you tsk at Ahni, “I don’t want her getting used to not working for her earning.”

“That’s a bit bold coming from a queen,” Ahni giggles, “especially when you can give her pretty much anything she wants.”

“Well you know how I grew up,” you reply smoothly, “the king and queen always made me work for everything. Sure, they were not good parents to me, but it did teach me to work for my rewards. I don’t want Cyar’ika to grow up and think that she can just be handed everything. Especially as queen, she’ll have to actually put some work in to rule this kingdom.”

“Y/n,” Ahni says softly while placing her hand on your shoulder, “she’s only one. She can be spoiled at this young age. She can grow out of it, with reduction of the spoils. Let her have a good childhood.”

“I’m not saying she can’t have a good childhood,” you reply, “I’m just saying that she doesn’t need to be handed everything, especially things that she probably doesn’t need. I don’t even remember you doing this for the twins.”

Ahni sighs, moving to grab a plate and start to put some pastries on it. “You’re right. Maybe I’m trying to justify it because we didn’t get to spoil them enough before Ringo was taken to train as a Jedi. And maybe we do it because we don’t want Cyar’ika to miss out on having parents that love her and want to give her the world.”

You pause, letting the words settle and process in your mind. You tighten your fist at your side briefly before releasing it. “Are you saying I’m not doing good enough? That I don’t love her enough? I want to give her more than the world. I want to give her more than this galaxy. It’s not my fault that I am a Jedi and a general, and that I have many different duties on top of being a mother.”

“Being a mother should come first,” Ahni bites back, a rare hint of anger in her tone. “You can leave the Jedi. You can leave the war. You can come back here and be only a mother and queen, but you choose day after day to put Cyar’ika and your kingdom second, behind fighting a petty war.”

“This war is far from petty!” you say harshly, “I didn’t lose Bomber to stand here and listen to you say it’s just petty. I’ve lost so many soldiers and Jedi friends. I’ve seen Masters have to watch their Padawans get slain by the Separatists. I’ve seen clones looking in horror as they realize they’re the only survivor of the squad they had been a part of since Kamino. It’s only petty because it hasn’t reached Dohbar yet. You, Senator Caree, should know the true reach and importance of this war. I hope the day never comes that it reaches us, but if it does, maybe you and Kwol will finally understand what I have to live through every day.” When you finish, you turn and walk from the room, not giving Ahni a second to reply. 

You head out to find Jawa squad, wanting to know the plans that they’ve come up with to save the party. When you try to go into the room, however, Uma stops you and shakes his head. “Not allowed in there yet,” he says with a grin, “it’s a surprise for you and for Cyar’ika. Don’t worry, we cleared it with Hex.”

“Well, if Hex approves, then I’m sure I will,” you say with a smile. “Can I get a hint at least?”

Uma opens his mouth to respond, but a hand reaches out of the door and pulls him close. You see Lightweight whisper something into his ear, to which Uma nods in response. “Steele is on his way with Cyar’ika! Just wait here for them, I have to go get into position. No peeking!” Uma says before slipping inside. 

You huff and roll your eyes, letting a small smirk cover your lips as you wait for Steele and Cyar’ika. Soon enough, you see them coming down the hall. Cyar’ika has a small look of boredom on her face that causes you to giggle when you look at how tired Steele seems to be. “Did someone wear you out?” you laugh as Steele and Cyar’ika stand in front of you.

“Yeah, she took off her socks and shoes and wouldn’t let me put them back on without a game of catch me if you can,” Steele sighs, and you can see his exhaustion more clearly. “She definitely likes to run away like her mother.”

“I don’t run away, I run towards the danger,” you correct.

“Yeah, away from us.”

“That’s just because I know you’ll be following along right behind me,” you laugh, nudging him in the side before taking Cyar’ika’s hand. “Are you ready for your birthday surprise from your uncles?” you ask, and she grins while nodding excitedly. You head over to the door and Steele holds it open for the both of you. Your mouth drops and Cyar’ika lets out a small surprised gasp of her own. “How did you all get this done in so little time?” you question quietly.

“Kwol let us know last night after you went to bed that the weather wasn’t going to be nice today. Other squads had been taking turns with setting up, and so we got up and took over.” He brings up a hand to stifle a yawn, and you look at him with a bit of concern.

“Did you get enough sleep?” you ask, furrowing your brows slightly. “You can go rest if you need to.”

“I was fine until the little squirt here wore me out,” he chuckles, “I’ll be alright, I promise, y/n.” You nod and head in proper, looking at the massive ball pit that practically filled the entire room. There was a little slide, and then a bigger one that you had to crawl through some weird playhouse or child's rope course type thing to get to. “Oh, this is also just the first of many rooms,” Steele says with a grin, “I can show you the others and then let you play around if you want,” he says while squatting to be closer to Cyar’ika’s height. 

She looks up at you and grabs your hand, pulling on it and pointing to the ball pit. “You wanna go play there first?” you ask, and she nods with a grin. “Alright, I’ll be over here keeping an eye out, but you should go play with your uncles,” you say with a slight giggle, looking up to see all the troopers already having their fun.

“Steele!” she says, and he looks at her with a gentle smile, “I wanna do a slide with you!” 

“Which one would you like?” he questions while reaching down and taking her hand. She points to the big one, and he chuckles as she tries to run off and pull him along with her. You smile warmly at them, and you can’t help but feel your heart swell as all the other troopers seem to pause and greet her as she runs by.

“She really is something special to all of us,” Sans says, startling you for a moment. “Sorry,” he chuckles, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay,” you reply with a smile, “and yeah, I can tell. I just hope that everyone she meets will see how special she is.”

“I’m sure they will,” Sans says assuringly, “especially Crosshair,” he adds with a soft smile. “I know everything will work out for the best between the two of you. And she’ll meet her father one day, and he’ll love her more than anything.”

“I hope so,” you sigh, and Sans slips an arm around your waist and pulls you closer.

“I promise you, it will,” he says gently, reaching up and brushing your cheek lightly. His smile is warm, and his eyes are soft. Everything about him radiates love, happiness, comfort, and care. You can’t help but lean into him, letting these feelings completely surround you. Looking up to see his expression again, you’re met with slight surprise at your reciprocation of affection. You give Sans a reassuring smile, and he smiles back happily. You move your head to look away, but his hand stops you from turning fully. “You don’t have to turn away from me every time,” Sans says softly as his thumb brushes against your cheek. “It hurts, you know.”

“I know,” you reply, “it hurts me too.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“Because,” you sigh, “I…my heart…”

“Is for someone else,” he sighs, and he starts to pull his hand away, but you stop it with your own. You look at him for a moment, scanning his eyes to figure out all the emotions swirling in them. 

You don’t even realize you’re kissing him until your mind starts wondering if it’s right to do. You don’t even know why you did it, but you can’t stop it now. Your lips move in sync with his as you debate if you do love him somewhere deep down. You press a bit harder against his lips, trying to dig down to that love and free it.

But you know it won’t work. You don’t love him that way, you never have. And you have just been dumped by your actual love, leaving an empty space that you’re desperately trying to fill. You want to feel something like that love again, but you want it to be real. This feeling isn’t real, it’s forced, fake, a shadow of what you do want. A shadow of what you had.

You pull away from Sans and meet his eye for a second before diverting your own gaze. You take a breath, steadying yourself and holding the tears back. “I-I’m sorry-”

“Don’t say that,” he begs quietly, “please, y/n. Let me believe you meant this. That…even just for a moment, you loved me back the way I love you.”

“I can’t,” you say while shaking your head, “I…don’t want you to look back and think that I was just using you to get over my own grief.”

“Is that what you did?”

“I don’t know,” you reply honestly, “all I know is that…I’m desperately heartbroken and lonely without Crosshair. I still love him, and I want to feel that love again.”

“But you didn’t feel it with me.” Sans’s voice is hollow, and you wish you could give him some sort of comfort.

“I wish I had,” you mumble as tears fall down your cheeks. In an instant, his arms are around you, holding you gently as he always has when you’re like this around him. He lets you nuzzle your face into his neck, crying quietly as you do.

“It’s okay,” he promises, “I will still always love you, y/n. You are the only person in the universe for me.”

“I’m sorry, so sorry, Sans,” you whisper as you pull back to look up at him. He smiles gently and wipes your tears away.

“Don’t be. The heart wants who the heart wants. I know you can’t help it.”

“I wish I could,” you sigh while giving him a small smile. You notice his eyes divert from yours to look at something behind you, and he smiles at you again before nodding.

“Queen Monako,” one of the helpers says as they approach, “there is another ship that has just landed in the palace hangar. I believe it is your special guest.”

“Thank you, Nex,” you say while giving them a warm smile, “I will go greet him now.” Nex nods and gives a slight bow before walking away. 

You take a deep breath and Sans moves to stand next to you, nudging you slightly with his elbow. “It’ll all be okay,” he says with a tone of reassurance, “Tech will love her. And I know the rest of that marauding bunch will love her as well when they get the chance to meet her.”

“I just hope that will be sometime soon,” you reply before looking at him again. “I really am sorry, Sans. I had this wonderful dream last night where we-”

“Y/n, my love,” he says, grabbing your hand softly while giving you a loving smile, “I would rather not know. I would prefer to keep my yearning to myself, and not have it fueled by your dreams. It is enough to know that you love me the same in your dreams as I wish you loved me here. Now, go get Tech so little Cyar’ika can meet her geeky uncle,” he says with a chuckle before bringing your hand up to kiss, “I’ll be joining the rest of Jawa squad.”

You nod and head towards the hangar, opening the door just as Tech reaches the top of the steps. “Oh, you did not forget me as I had supposed,” he says as he looks up from his datapad. “Is everything alright?”

“For the most part,” you say while giving him a smile. You look at his arms and notice a present tucked under one while the other holds his datapad. “I’d give you a hug, but…”

“Shall I leave my datapad somewhere else? I would prefer to know it is not in danger of being misplaced among the other guests.”

“Sure, on your ship would be best,” you suggest. He nods and quickly takes it back before heading right back over to you. He sets the gift down and wraps his arms around you, surprising you at the fact that he was the one to pull you in for a hug.

“I…am sorry for, well, my brother’s actions,” he says before pulling back, “I know this won’t mean much, but he did not truly mean what he said. He was simply-”

“I don’t need to hear this from you, Tech,” you say to cut him off, “and I’m not quite ready to forgive him. I still need some time.”

He’s quiet for a moment before he nods, picking up the gift again and giving you a smile before you turn to open the door. “I don’t quite understand your emotions,” he says casually, “I understand them on the chemical level and how they are created by your brain and the chemistry of it, and I understand how they work, but I don’t think I quite know what they feel like. I am mostly aware of them from the descriptions I get from others.”

“That’s okay,” you reply, “some of us are different in that way.”

“You don’t think I am somehow…less than?” he asks, and you pause to look at him, confused by his genuine tone.

“Why would I view you as less than?” you question back, “you’re sentient, are you not? You’re a living and thinking creature. Just because your mind is different, it doesn’t make you less than. Being neurodivergent is not something that is wrong, it is just a certain difference that you have. You’re still amazing, smart, and incredibly knowledgeable. But in your case, you simply don’t feel or understand emotions in the same way as others, and that’s perfectly okay. If anyone tells you differently, send them my way, and I’ll teach them a lesson with the deadly end of my lightsaber.”

“Thank you, y/n,” he says after a few moments of silence, “I am glad that I am still viewed as an equal to you.”

“Everyone should view you as an equal, because we’re all really the same when it comes down to our core. Well, maybe not exactly, but we’re all sentient beings just trying to make our way in the galaxy. Our paths may be different, but I think we all have the same goal–to be happy and content with ourselves.”

“I believe you may be correct in your thinking,” he says as you stop in front of a room. 

You open the door and lead him inside. Piles of gifts line the floor, and you do a classic Obi-wan thinking pose as you look for a spot to put the one he brought for her. “I think you can put that over there,” you say, pointing to a somewhat sturdy looking spot.

“I would rather hold onto this so that I can give it to her myself,” he replies, “it is a customized gift.”

“Oh?” you question, “well would you like me to go get her or have Steele bring her here for us?”

“I would like to wait here for Steele to bring her. If the others of Jawa squad would like to join as well, they are welcome.”

“Alright, I’ll have them meet us here and then afterwards I’ll let her tear into all her other gifts,” you say before comming the squad.

Within a few minutes, Jawa squad, Quin, and Trix are in the room with you and Tech. Cyar’ika immediately runs to your side and you pick her up, smiling before turning to let her get a look at Tech. “Cyar’ika,” you say gently, “this is your uncle, Tech. He is your father’s brother.”

“Father?” she questions while looking at him, and he shakes his head while giving her a soft smile.

“Uncle,” he replies while placing a hand on his chest. “Uncle Tech.”

“Uncle Steele!” she says happily as she points at Steele, “uncle Hex! Uncle Aid! Uncle Sans! Uncle Pie!”

Steele snickers and nudges Hex when he hears Cyar’ika yet again mess up Tie’s name. “And to think it’s one of the easier ones.”

“I can hear ya, ya moron,” Tie harshly whispers back. Quin sets a calming hand on his husband’s knee, and Trix just raises a questioning brow at her dad.

“Uncle Tech,” Cyar’ika says somewhat uncertainly after she finishes going around the room. 

“Yes, that is correct,” he replies with a smile.

Cyar’ika grins before wiggling around in your arms, signaling that she would like to be put down. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she quickly walks over to Tech and makes a pouty face up at him before sticking her arms up at him. “Up!” she demands, and Tech looks at you briefly, a slight look of fear on his face. “I uh…I have never picked up a child before,” he admits while looking back down at her. “I am worried that-”

“Oh, don’t be afraid of hurting that little rascal,” Steele says with a dismissive wave of his hand, “she’ll scrape up her knees and run it off as if it’s just a little bit of dirt on her pants.”

Tech looks at you again for reassurance and you nod with a soft smile. He gulps before reaching down and awkwardly picking her up. He holds her out in front of him, looking at her from eye level. She giggles as his fingers seem to tickle her, and her feet kick out into the air.

“Do ship fly!” she demands, and Tech looks at you in confusion.

“She wants you to make her ‘fly like a ship’,” you explain with a small giggle. Tech thinks for a second before nodding, adjusting his grip slightly before taking off to run around the room with her held out in front of him. Cyar’ika’s shrieks and giggles of joy fill the room, and soon everyone is laughing along with her as she enjoys her fun with her uncle Tech.

“Alright, put’er down b’fore she gets sick,” Tie says when he catches his breath, “y/n will be awfully angry with ya if she has to take care of a sick daughter on that daughter’s birthday.”

“That’s right,” you laugh in agreement. Tech stops and lets her down, immediately catching her as she loses her balance. “We’ll give her a minute to calm down before we let her open her other gifts,” you tell the others, and they nod in agreement while Hex gives out the comm to all the others. 

The rest of the night and celebrations went by quickly from there. After you all had watched Cyar’ika open her gifts, it had been time to eat. After Cyar’ika, you, Kwol, Ahni, Quin, and Trix had gotten your food, Jawa squad and the rest of the 17th dug into the rest. There were no leftovers, and everyone had eaten to satisfaction. The cakes attracted everyone’s appraisal and compliments as they studied the amazing designs that Cyar’ika had done for her age. 

Even Tech seemed to be completely enamored with his niece. He could not stop mentioning her silver hair that was exactly like her fathers. He said he even noticed a bit of his snark in her attitude, which elicited a humored snort from you. “Yeah, it’s a lot worse when she doesn’t want to do something,” you had replied after he pointed it out.

“I am sure she is only ever an angel,” he replied back while bouncing her on his knee. To your surprise, he knew how to braid hair, and after she calmed down and was able to sit still for more than 30 seconds, he managed to loosely braid her hair.

“That looks amazin’,” Quin commented when he’d seen it, “I’d like to do somethin’ like that for my lil girl Trix, but she says it’s a part of her Mirialan culture to not let others see her hair.”

“That is correct,” Tech stated before going on a ramble about Mirialan culture, which was intriguing for everyone except Cyar’ika, who ended up hopping off of his knee and wandering over to another group of uncles eager to get their time to talk to and giggle with their little niece.

By the end of the night, the palace was a mess, but no one seemed to mind as they all filed into rooms to rest in. Tech slept in the same room he and the rest of the batch had stayed in on their visits, with Cyar’ika begging to stay and spend the night in the room with him. You allowed her to, since the other night she’d been stuck with Mrs. Dure. Of course, Jawa squad, as well as the rest of the 17th, was jealous of her seemingly new favorite uncle.

When you wake up, Tech is eating breakfast with the 17th and Cyar’ika. Ahni and Kwol are helping the helpers with cleaning, and you decide to join them in hopes that the extra hands, with force sensitivity, would help clean up faster.

“Shouldn’t you be eating with your daughter?” Kwol asks while trying to toss a ball of trash into the trash can. He frowns when it misses.

“I thought you guys might like some help,” you reply while using the force to pick it up and throw it away properly.

“Well, we do,” he starts, “but you do have a limited amount of time with her.”

“I know,” you sigh, “I feel bad and all as well, but…I don’t know. I want to put her first, but with all my obligations…”

“It’s hard,” Ahni offers with a smile. “I understand now, a bit. When the twins were born, I had the hardest time balancing taking care of them and being around them with my senatorial work, but I took every second that was given to me. It’s the best that you can do, besides making it possible to take care of your obligations while being around her.”

“I don’t know how well I could focus on paperwork or official monarchy or government things if I have her in the room distracting me,” you admit with a smile.

“But you can go eat breakfast with her,” Ahni replies with an encouraging grin. “Now go, we can take care of this. Besides, if we need help, we’ll get the cleanup crew on it. There’s two specific squads of troopers who are responsible for most of this.”

“Let me guess, Sans, Hex, Steele, Aid, Tie, and then Uma, Bullseye, Ripple, Skipper, and Lightweight?”

“Precisely,” she confirms with a small giggle, and you roll your eyes while letting your own small giggle slip out.

“I’ll go tell them when I get there,” you say before turning to leave the room. Once you get there, you tell the boys their orders and watch as they groan and complain, well, that is Sans, Steele, and Tie do, before they drag themselves out and go help to clean up the mess. Everyone else slowly ends up leaving once they have their share, and soon it’s just you, Tech, and Cyar’ika left.

“Are you liking your uncle Tech,” you ask her with a smile. She nods vigorously, clinging onto him tightly.

“Stay,” she says, and Tech chuckles softly while running a hand over her hair.

“I am afraid I cannot fulfill your request at the moment,” he tells her, and she looks at him as if he’s speaking another language.

“He said he can’t stay,” you explain in simpler terms for her. She immediately frowns and starts kicking her feet aggressively, and you tell her off gently to get her to stop. 

“I will come visit you again soon,” he offers to her, and she immediately lights up and becomes happy again.

“Tomorrow?” she asks, and Tech chuckles again while shaking his head.

“I am afraid I do not exactly know when, but it will be soon,” he promises her. She pouts for a second before he offers her his pinky finger. “I promise,” he says, and she grins while wrapping her tiny pinky around his. You relish in their smiles and giggles, feeling as though a part of your heart that you hadn’t known was empty has suddenly been filled.

***

“Thank you again for coming to meet her,” you say as you walk out to the hangar with Tech. The 17th is loading up onto the Venator, and once you and Tech say goodbye, you’ll be boarding your respective ships and flying out for missions. “It meant a lot to her, and me.”

“Anything for the two of you,” he says with a gentle smile. “Take care, y/n. I hope I will see you soon.”

“Probably sooner than we know it,” you laugh before heading in for a hug. You both take a moment to bask in one another’s warmth before you step away.

“Good luck, y/n, and stay safe out there. Your daughter needs a good mother like you to come back to her, alive.”

“I will do my best,” you reply, “and you as well. She needs all of you guys. May the force be with you,” you say before pulling the hood of your Jedi robe up. You walk over to the Venator, glancing back to watch as Tech flies out, before you continue your ascent up the boarding ramp. Within minutes, you and the 17th are off back to Coruscant, awaiting and preparing for your next mission.

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[x-liv25-jamieswife]

tig characters/couples as ts songs - sparks fly and averyjameson

literally every single lyric fits them, but i'm obviously not going to do all of them so here are the ones i love the most. also i really need to start rereading the books cause i sort of forgot some important details about them, and so some of this might not be accurate (i apologize for that but i find these really fun to make). this might also get repetitive cause i love them so much and can't stop talking about them @reminiscentreader made a comment about this under one of my posts which inspired this. this song has been my #1 aj song forever, but seeing her comment made me want to make this post even more. i apologize for any spelling mistakes (or if anything doesn't make sense or if its repetitive), this was made at 3am, and i don't feel like going over it.

"you're the kind of reckless that should send me running but i kinda know that i won't get far"

although avery knows that jameson will probably end up hurting her because of how careless and reckless he is, she still can't help but be drawn to him. she convinces herself (in the first book) that its because of the mystery they have to solve, but i think subconsciously she knows that she loves being around him and that's why she can't seem to stay away. she waits for him when it comes to looking for more clues, and goes looking for him when she finds something. no matter what, she always goes back to him.

"drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain, cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile"

there are many layers to this. this one is also a little less accurate than the other, but the idea remains the same. in the first book, jameson takes the pain away after avery got shot at by kissing her, but he also ends up hurting her by telling her she doesn't really mean anything to him. throughout the book, we see him hurt her unintentionally over and over again. the reason why she's scared of getting together with jameson at first is because of the pain he causes her. she wants him to drop all the bullshit, and say that he wants to be with her and love her. to kiss her on sidewalks and dance with her in the pouring rain instead of hurting her and pretending she means nothing to him. while she's scared of getting together with him and denies her feelings for him, she also can't help but be attracted him. her heart lights up whenever she sees him (a feeling she doesn't get around grayson in my opinion). although we don't have jamie's pov, i also think he feels somewhat the same (not the being hurt by her part though). he's always seeking her out and talking to her. we also know that he's hurting cause of emily, and i think being around avery lessens that pain.

"get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down, give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around"

jameson, throughout the first and second book, gives her just enough for her to feel something for him and to forget the pain he causes her. although she knows getting together with him might hurt her, these little moments haunt her at night. she can't help but the think of the what-ifs, and overtime, starts finding it harder to convince herself why she shouldn't be with him. she doesn't want to feel this way, but she can't stop thinking about him, and it's messing with her head. (jameson also has green eyes). this also sort of applies from jamie's perspective. avery will do things that make him realize how amazing she truly is, and that he underestimated her and his attraction to her. these little things stay with him at night, and slowly he started to fall for her.

"my mind forgets to remind me, you're a bad idea, you touch me once and it's really something, you find i'm even better than you imagined i would be"

this kind of goes with what i've already said so far, but avery knows he's a bad idea. she isn't stupid, and she's very protective of her heart. she doesn't like to get hurt, but being around jamie makes her forget all of these thoughts and makes her ignore these warnings her mind gives her. jamie kissing her and touching her cheek always manages to make all reason leave her and wonder why giving in would be such a bad idea. overtime, jameson realizes that avery isn't just a game to him, and she's so much more (so much better). the more he gets to know her, the more he realizes how smart and talented she is, and he can't help but fall in love with her.

"i'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but, for you, i know its no good"

no one knows them as well as they know each other. they both know how their minds work individually and together. they know about their feelings and insecurities, and they only really open up to each other. i mean, they literally have a codeword for being honest with each other. avery has never liked being vulnerable and thinks with her head and not her heart, and jamie is always acting as if nothing is wrong when in reality he's hurting. these are their shields that protect them from the rest of world. they only allow themselves to break down in front of one another (and their siblings but anyways). i also made another post about how i think the codeword was created as a result of past communication and trust issues. they know how much keeping secrets hurts each other. they know it's no good.

"just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right"

this is also really similar to other lyrics i've talked about, but avery forgets all reason when she's around jamie. he manages to sneak his way into her heart and make her feel things she's never felt before. him looking at her or brushing his fingers against her cheek make her feel so attracted to him that she starts to wonder, for a second, if he's really as bad as her mind makes him out to be.

i hope this is good. i haven't read the books in over a year, and so i've forgotten some details. some of this might not be accurate, and i wished i had more examples. i might make an updated post after i reread the main trilogy.

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: June 21

Here’s what I loved the last couple of weeks!

🪐 = Year of Themed Creations work!

JAVIER PEÑA

Voulez-Vous by @simpingcowboy 🪐 Year of ABBA indeed. The two things I love about this fic are the way it takes the song and puts it into fic form seamlessly...and the sensory details that put me right there in that sweaty, loud Medellin club. Oh. And the way I can almost feeeeeeel Javier’s packed jeans under my fingers. nnnnnnng

.

JOEL MILLER

Year of Small Joys 4 - Breathtaking Sunrise by @keldabe-kriff 🪐 A simple and lovely drabble. What Ellie sees is a real sunrise. What Joel sees is an opportunity to muse on the moment, that in another life, it would be a moment of everyday peace...

.

OBERYN MARTELL

Yes You May by @grogusmum 🪐 Imagine it. Maybe you just go about your Beltane way, all flowers and ribbons and branches and such. Then you get yourself all ready for the Maypole and find yourself dancing with a handsome stranger with a sly smile and a golden robe. A stranger that wants to jump fires for you...or with you.... Yes plz.

.

DIN DJARIN

Return the Favor by @ghostofskywalker 🪐 Just on the friendlier side of enemies to ... allies for now, I love the little things that give the reader some trust in Din. From running a mission for him to being given a place to crash and an offer to tag along on some more adventures, this couple’s off to a rough start, but seem to be fitting together more and more as the story goes on. I bet the adventure’s not gonna stop with these two.

Tidal Force by @the-blind-assassin-12  A mermaid AU, but the reader is the mermaid. Specifically one on Mandalore beneath the glassed-in Sea of Sundari and forever pining for the Concordian moon. There’s a reason for that though, and it all has to do with a fairytale...and I do so love a good fairytale.

.

EZRA

untitled (Bangathon Ezra / Spooning) by @prolix-yuy​  Really, isn’t it every girl’s dream to be yearned for by Ezra? To be lusted after by Ezra? To be woken from sleep in the hot tent you share and taken in a sweet and feral fit of need by Ezra? Kevva’s balls, this gave me the wants and the thots and the hots. Color me glad for asking...

.

MAX PHILLIPS AND DIETER BRAVO

D is for Double Penetration by @butchmandalorian 🪐 You know who’s getting the double D? It’s not you. and it’s not Dieter. There’s so much kink happening here, so much play and trust and Dieter being a flirty bi king and Max being cute because he doesn’t know how to deal with all these new wants and feels... Again. @butchmandalorian‘s dom fics always push my buttons because her characters are always loving and good to each other and the trust is real. I really don’t know who to be jealous of in this fic...I want to be all of them....

.

SPECIAL GUEST CORNER

BENEDICT BRIDGERTON

More Than Just a Pretty Face by @captainsophiestark 🪐 I don’t know much about the Bridgerton world, but I do love the regency period and I thoroughly enjoyed this meet cute with surprise revelation. These two are so cute together and it seems like they really do deserve some fun. What good is courting if you have to be stuffy and proper all the time? What good is being a sassy, talented woman without someone who can really appreciate it? Nice.

.

PIPPIN TOOK

Free Food by @ironmandeficiency  It’s a love story and ahhhhhh you’re seeing Pip + Food and making assumptions. You would only be half right. Because when @ironmandeficiency says Year of Idiots they really chose a perfect one here. Full disclosure: There was a time I would have very much loved to have been Pip’s object of affection....and maybe this fanned a little flame for him....

.

[tarithenurse]

The Bathhouse - 2

Fandom: MCU AU Pairing/starring: Jotunn!Loki x Fem!Jotunn!reader Content: Morning after, hints at smut, hint of the ongoing heat, mostly some “angst” and pining, sad goodbyes (just temporary, don’t worry). A/N: Continuation of the smut fic The Bathhouse which I posted about a week ago and people seem to like. There’ll be a final and third part which will be seriously smutty as opposed to this second part. Betaed as usual by my wonderful TanteFrutsel-CreativeNurse <3

Departure

Returning to the inn, you undress and finally fall onto the bed, exhausted and head spinning with what has transpired at the bathhouse. Tugging yourself under the covers, a hand drifts to your clothed core without really touching, just covering an area of the body which is forever changed for you. And in spite of that, in spite of the myriad of thoughts, you fall into a deep sleep

...

There’s a sharp knock at the door, rousing you from your slumber, fog headed. The knocking persists more urgently so you wrap the covers around your body and go to open, finding your comrades outside.

“Don’t you want breakfast?” Morella begins unceremoniously. “Why’re you still in bed?”

You shrug, trying to hide how abashed you feel with nonchalance. “Was up most of the night.”

“Doing what?” Then something seems to dawn on her face and she gasps, “or doing who?”

“Morella!” Anvindr berates, the blue of his skin deepening considerably.

You shake your head vehemently, not ready to admit to what had transpired in the bathhouse just yet. It feels like a delicious secret, a sweet little morsel to nibble from as long as the others don’t know.

“Let me get dressed and I’ll be right down,” you change the subject.

...

The trip to the library had not been completely in vain because Anvindr had found some tomes on dwarven metallurgy and Morella managed to find a few scrolls befitting her whimsical interests too. You on the other hand had been sat staring at the same page about the founding of Utgarde without being able to take in the words.

Now you’re passing by the palace on the way back to the main road.

“Ah, hello,” a slightly familiar voice calls out.

Looking around, you spot the captain that had attempted to apprehend you with his group outside of Utgarde. He appears to be coming from within the building, fully armed and fitted with a delegation of Jötunn in his wake.

“Captain Evios,” Anvindr greets him clipped.

“You remember my name! How nice!” the captain smiles broadly as though there could be no bad blood between them, “I see you’re roaming around as you please again...guess your story checked up, huh, pretty one?” The last part is aimed at you and you instinctively recoil. “Maybe you can roam past me when I come back from assignment, if you get my drift.”

There’s a faint snicker in his ranks that’s quelled when another voice speaks up, icy cold: “Evios,” is all that’s said but the expression on the captain’s face clearly states that he knows he’s fucked up.

“Sorry, prince Loki. Heading out now,” and with that the group scurry away revealing the god that had appeared behind them.

“My apologies...no guest of Utgarde should be spoken to in that manner,” the ruby-eyed Jotunn complains, “I’ll make sure he’s dealt with once he returns.”

Morella speaks up before you have a chance to say anything. “Good! He was out of line.” It’s almost a miracle that she didn’t take matters into her own hands a moment before and even Anvindr seems to side with your feisty friend, murmuring his own opinion.

Stepping a bit closer, the prince turns his attention fully to the others in the party. “I was hoping I could borrow [Y/N] for the rest of the day?”

“Of course!” Morella approves immediately, grabbing Anvindr by his arm and dragging him along and ignoring the confused look on his face, “See you later! Have fun!”

“But -?” You abandon the idea of calling your friends back. You don’t really want to anyways, not now that Loki turns to you with a sly smile and offers an arm. “Hi,” you mumble instead, accepting the gesture.

“Hey.” You walk a moment side by side in silence but eventually he speaks up, “How are you?”

To an outsider it could seem innocent enough but you get the feeling that he’s trying to gauge how you’re dealing with the night’s activities...and how are you dealing with that? Squirming a bit, you try to formulate a sentence: “I...I feel...different but then also not? And apprehensive because...what now? What are we?”

“Hmm...I was going to ask you the same after I’d made sure that there were no regrets from your side.”

“No! No regrets! It was...it was good and...and...and...” you trail off, unable to properly express yourself. Unable to voice that you’re craving more.

It’s as though he can read your mind because Loki stops and turns you to face him. Towering over you, he leans down to plant a slow kiss that deepens when you open the mouth in a sigh. Strong hands hold you flush against him, fingers digging into flesh. It only lasts a brief moment but when you part, you’re both breathing heavily.

“I don’t know what the future will bring us,” Loki sighs with his forehead against your, his breath fanning warmly, “but I know what I want and that is to be with you.”

“What if...you said that my scent...what if...” your voice threatens to break.

Pulling back a bit, the god regards you. “It doesn’t work like that,” he assures, “you will see once the heat is over that my feelings will remain the same. That I love you.”

Satisfied with the answer for now, you take Loki’s arm and walk with him, exchanging stories about your pasts and your homes. Many of the things you both already know but at least you each can offer new perspectives.

Walking through the grounds and the palace proper, you make it to his abode where you take up seats on the balcony. Coranzen, Loki’s personal servant, serves a delicious, fizzy drink before retreating once more so you can get some privacy.

“[Y/N]...how long do we have together before you must leave?” Loki asks during a lull in the conversation about the distant regions of his realm.

You hesitate, unsure what to expect yourself. “It depends on Anvindr, I think. He begins work on a shield tomorrow. I suspect the other two want to go when that’s done.”

“So...days?”

“Probably, yeah.”

This time he’s the one to weigh his words carefully before: “I could come with you.”

“What? But...leave all of this behind?”

“If it meant knowing you’re safe or being at your side should you need help. Yes.”

You want it. Here or there, that doesn’t matter as long as you don’t have to part from him but you know it’s impossible. Setting the glass aside, you turn to him and take his hands. “I want that very much...” his face lights up until you continue, “but we can’t, Loki.”

It is clear in his eyes that he understands the reasoning even if you haven’t explained it. Rather than argue, he pulls you onto his lap and holds you in a tight embrace, rocking slightly as though his frustrations could roll off of him that way.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“Me too.” His lips are ghosting your neck, sending shivers through you. “But you’re speaking reason. I’m too...too blinded to see clearly.”

“I love you.”

The words slip past your lips of their own accord but you don’t wish to take them back. They make him tense up, holding you a smidgen tighter as he repeats them back in a barely audible whisper.

...

“You’re looking happy,” Morella comments cheekily by the time you have reunited with your friends the next morning.

Anvindr suddenly explaims a small “oh” which is rapidly accompanied by a deep purplish blush before groaning something incomprehensible but he still gets the message across because your shared friend grins shamelessly back before promptly ignoring him. She doesn’t gain anything by it, though, because you know how to keep silent.

...

Two days pass but they are not two days wasted and eventually you accept his offer that you might as well just stay in his quarters at the palace for the time being which Morella seems to be very happy about while Anvindr doesn’t comment on it...but that might just be because he’s preoccupied with the creation of his shield.

Every day, the tinkerer goes to the blacksmith and works hard. Sometimes Morella tags along, however mostly the group is rather divided though still content.

For you, however, every day the group draws closer to departing, your heart aches more. You have no doubt that you’ll be going with them but you’re also loath to part with Loki with whom you’re spending most of the time when he’s not attending to his duties.

...

Loki walks you to where you’re meeting up with your friends and the escorting ranger party. It’s a silent walk where the two of you hold hands as if that could prevent you from parting. You’ve spent all the words lauding each other and wishing for a different fate. Now all you have is the looming goodbye.

The moment the waiting group comes into view, Loki’s hand closes tighter around yours and you feel him hesitate.

“We can still change our minds...you could stay...” he says just for you to hear.

Rather than answering (because you don’t think you can get anything out of your tight throat) you squeeze his hand, rubbing the knuckles with your thumb. You both know that this is how it has to be for now.

And then you’re there and the group greets you and the prince as though nothing’s wrong. The captain of the company smiles broadly for a moment before he notices the joined hands and he sends his superior a questioning glance that goes by ignored for now.

“Let’s get going, we have a ways to cover,” the captain decrees and the dozen of people start moving.

Not you. You turn to your lover and embrace him, rocking slightly in his arms as he returns the gesture. You both nuzzle the faces into the crooks of the other’ neck, inhaling deeply in the hope of memorizing the scent of one another.

“I love you,” you manage to croak out.

“And I you...and you promise to stay safe...”

You both know that that might be a futile promise, but you nod nonetheless before kissing him deeply. Then you extricate yourself from the embrace and hurry after the others who are disappearing down the road, spurred on by a light pat to your butt.

You look back by the first bend and sees a lone figure standing there with the silhouette of Utgarde behind him.

When you catch up with the rest, everyone has the tact to remain quiet rather than question you about it. Only Morella reaches over and pats you on the shoulder.

[waltwhitmansbeard]

a my fair lady playlist

a year ago today i posted the first chapter of my fair lady, which was supposed to be a little thing that i just needed to get out of my head after reading @romeoandjulietyouwish's for the love of a princess. 144 chapters and one year of obsession later, what i got is my biggest writing project to date. it was also my first real foray into the cr fandom, which has since become, frankly, the biggest part of my life, and i'm just endlessly grateful to each of you who read and interacted with mfl in any way. i'm so lucky to have gotten to share this with all of you.

so to celebrate, i have assembled a way-too-long playlist inspired by the events of mfl. the songs represent the moments and feelings that most stood out to me (or that i could find an appropriate song for, lol). it was fun trying to remember everything that happened (as of rn the entire fic is 450 pages in google docs so...there's a lot) and piece together the story through song. i've written a little blurb to justify each choice in the cut below, but you can listen to the playlist on spotify here! thanks again for sticking around!

1. "My Fair Lady" - KALEO as the song from which i took all the titles for the series, i couldn't not start off with this one. i can't even hear this song now without thinking of mfl.

2. "Security" - Joss Stone since this is a song about being there for a friend in a time of crisis, i thought it was the perfect choice for the beginning of keyleth and percy's lifelong friendship. percy showed up in zephrah traumatized and barely holding it together, and keyleth was the rock that kept him from collapsing.

3. "Best of Friends" - Pearl Bailey marisha put this one on one of her keyleth playlists to represent keyleth and percy, and she was right! is there any better song for those two growing up as best friends?

4. "Fountain" - Sara Lov keyleth grew up under the shadow of her mother's loss and the pressure of a nation's expectations. someone give this child a BREAK!

5. "Uptown Girl" - Billy Joel oh, you think this is about vax and keyleth? WRONG. percy is an uptown girl and vex is his downtown man coming to shake his world.

6. "Stay Awake" - London Grammar how many nights did keyleth and vax stay up with the moon, learning to love each other? who did they become with no one but the shadows and each other to watch them grow?

7. "goodnight n go" - Ariana Grande this song just gives me such intense vex vibes. she wants so bad to get percy out from under her skin but no dice, he's there to stay.

8. "Foolish Thing" - Darren Criss vax knows that he absolutely cannot be catching feelings for the princess for any number of reasons. but that doesn't stop him from being a dumbfuck in love!

9. "Sacrilege" - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs keyleth knows that she absolutely cannot be catching feelings for her guard for any number of reasons. but that doesn't stop her from being a dumbfuck in love!

10. "You Get Me" - Michelle Branch even though she grew up royalty, keyleth never felt like she fit in in her own world. she was always different, out of place. but vax sees her strange edges and knows the shape they make.

11. "Dreams" - Caroline Glaser keyleth is down bad! she can't sleep without vax there, and vax is more than happy to reassure her that she's it for him.

12. "Take Me to Church" - Hozier this is my pick for some night just seem forever lasting, because if there's one thing vax is gonna do it's worship on his knees at keyleth's altar.

13. "Holy" - King Princess keyleth is busy with a nation and a war but she has time at the end of the day to fuck her man, and that's what really matters.

14. "Into You" - Ariana Grande this one is for the true sluts of the castle, vex and percy. stay horny, you absolute lovesick fools.

15. "River of Tears" - Alessia Cara just absolute depression and forlorn longing from vax and keyleth both when they're forced to be apart. drama queens, the both of them.

16. "The Lightning Strike (Part I: What If This Storm Ends?)" - Snow Patrol remember that time keyleth summoned lightning and used it to strike a bunch of attackers dead? so do i, and so does vax. it was his first time being confronted with the possibilities of the wild power she wields, and it definitely isn't something he was ever going to forget.

17. "Rich Youth" - Hayley Kiyoko keyleth and tiberius were both raised in the shadow of powerful fathers, and they came together to advocate for a future that represents the nations they want to lead.

18. "My Immortal" - Evanescence thank you to @ravendruid for the suggestion! does anything say vaxleth more than melodramatic longing? this song is for all the lingering heartbreak as they tried (and ultimately failed) to stay apart for so long.

19. "I Don't Mind" - Darren Criss one of my favorite pieces of writing from mfl was keyleth's proposal to vax. he's so convinced that she'd be better off without him, and all she wants to do is convince him that he's worth all the trouble waiting them.

20. "Love Story" - Taylor Swift forgive me for adding taylor swift to this list but you gotta admit, it's very appropriate for the vaxleth wedding.

21. "Dancing in the Rain" - Johannes Bornlöf let me be indulgent! this is the song i picked to play while reading the wedding chapter, so ofc it makes the list.

22. "The Deal" - Mitski thank you to @crispysnake for the suggestion! i mean, this is absolutely vax carrying his dead wife's body beneath the castle and striking a deal with the raven queen to bring her back. it's like it's what the song was written for.

23. "Castle" - Halsey just big keyleth charging to the throne room to demand her father release vax energy with this one.

24. "Growing, Growing, Gone" - Theo Katzman korrin was confronted very suddenly with the reality that his little girl wasn't a little girl anymore. she has a whole life ahead of her that is outside of him, and that's hard for a dad to come to terms with.

25. "Kiki (feat. Iron and Wine)" - Rett Madison y'all, the way i SCREAMED when i first heard this song on rett's new album!!! i just imagine vilya trying to reach out to keyleth, to let her know that she's been watching and of course, of course she's proud of her, of course she approves of vax, of course she wants nothing more than for her baby girl to happy.

26. "Wildflowers (Tom Petty Cover)" - Miley Cyrus this song makes me thing of the little cottage on the hill, and of korrin's wish for his daughter to have a place where she feels free. he knows that the castle has never really felt like her home, and so he gives her and her new husband a place they can build a home for themselves.

27. "Bubbly" - Colbie Caillat this song is just the pinnacle of happy love. it's vax and keyleth waking up in their bed, in their house, in their love's arms. it's happiness.

28. "Sunday Morning" - Maroon 5 remember that time vex was like "this was fun but i gotta go home" and percy was like "but what if i was home?" and fluttered his lashes like a harlot? me too.

29. "Family Tree" - Matthew West pending fatherhood is terrifying, especially when your own father is a sack of shit. of course vax would doubt his own ability to be for his child what syldor couldn't be for him and vex.

30. "A Woman's Work" - Kate Bush the definitive anthem for women creating life. keyleth is a goddess for so many reason but especially for making a literal person.

31. "Dear Theodosia" - Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton just DAD feelings up in this bitch! vax is a dad and korrin is a dad and percy (eventually) is a dad! also there's a new nation coming just around the corner! the perfect song!

32. "Brother Run Fast" - KALEO to me, this song represents vax and percy's understanding that the horrors of percy's past are coming for vax's present, and the two of them will stop at nothing to fix what was broken. they are both desperate for forgiveness they do not need, and they are both determined to keep the other on course.

33. "Yours & Mine" - Lucy Dacus imagine telling keyleth of the air ashari to sit at home while her family and friends venture out to save her daughter's life. IMAGINE!

34. "Trials - Demo" - London Grammar what is keyleth and vax's relationship if not an endless gauntlet of trials from which they must continually find their way back to each other?

35. "Delilah" - Florence + the Machine this song is just...everything. it's delilah and sylas. it's cass and the ghosts of the castle she's caged in. it's vilya, crying out for her mother. it's keyleth, coming to kick ass with a daylight spell. it's percy, reclaiming what was his all along.

36. "Show Me the Way" - Styx vax went THRU IT during gocmh, and his turning to the raven queen was a move of absolute desperation. he needed his matron's guidance not only to get his daughter back, but to put the pieces of his life back together.

37. "Glory and Gore" - Lorde what can i say? vox machina fucks shit up.

38. "Work Song" - Hozier percy may die twice but that ain't gonna stop him from simping for vex.

39. "Happiness" - The Fray this song is about happiness, but it has such a melancholic sound to it, which really works for baby vilya's return to zephrah. yes she's home, which is an immense relief, but she's brought home to a tragedy. nothing is simple.

40. "Kingdom of One" - Maren Morris hey vallen: get fucked.

41. "Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)" - Billy Joel this is, to me, the ultimate father-daughter song, and in the context of mfl it makes me think of the unfinished letter keyleth found in her father's room after his death. just a reminder that even after someone dies, their love for those they leave behind never will.

42. "Starts With Goodbye" - Carrie Underwood i don't know what it's like to fundamentally reshape the structure of an entire nation in order to secure a more stable future for your child, but i imagine it feels like this!

43. "Matchstick" - American Royalty thank you to @ravendruid for the suggestion! sometimes self-care is setting the man who murdered your parents and helped kidnap your daughter on fire.

44. "Chords" - The Amazing Devil parents play such a big part in the story of mfl. the absence of keyleth's mother, the fact that her father is also a king, korrin being a father to percy, the twins confronting the father they fled, and of course, vaxleth and perc'ahlia becoming parents themselves. if there's anything they can take away from all of the heartbreak, it's wanting the best for their children, at the cost of everything else.

45. "Everywhere, Everything" - Noah Kahan had to end on some noah kahan in order to keep @crispysnake from gnawing at the bars of their enclosure. again, just the absolute vaxleth melodrama of "wanna love you til we're food for the worms to eat, til our fingers decompose." disgusting. i love them so much.