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TIMELESS : ̗̀➛양정원
XO tatted all over her body...
✧jungwon x f!reader
genre/warnings: 3.3k words, 17+, no minors 🔞, friends w benefits to lovers, hair pulling, slapping, smoking🍃, constricted breathing, biting, scratching, crying, annoying roommates, kinda filthy but um yeah, overstimulation, NOT proofread :(
a/n: umm the fact that this is my first work.. idk what happened tbh LMAOO i was listening to the song and jungwon came to mind so slay ?? i hope you guys like it but also PLEEASEE give me feedback because it’s my first time publishing anything but um yeah i’ll write more for enha because i literally love them and yeah (anton mentioned - RIIZE IS SEVEN 🧡🤗)
kisses, from laurie 😽
As soon as the words - ‘come over.. i haven’t seen you in a while. i miss you.’ came through your phone you already knew what was going to go down.
The two of you had met a good few years prior after being introduced by a mutual friend - Sunghoon - and toed over the line of friendship during a smoke session. Ever since then you decided to keep the friendship but have constantly messed around.
Jungwon was in a band and on tour constantly so when he did eventually call you didn’t waste time getting to him.
Now you were in his room breathing as one with the fog that clouded the room and also your judgment while his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 playlist played in the background.
Jungwon tapped on the XO tattoo that sat on your neck, signalling for you to open your mouth.
He blew the smoke from his mouth into yours and waited for you to hold it then exhale.
kiss me. kiss me. kiss me.
Were the words that ran through your mind on an endless track as you stared up at him with wide eyes and a small grin.
“Already?” he pouted. “You usually last longer than this.”
Your hands wrapped themselves around his neck allowing your fingers to weave their way into the hairs at the nape of his neck.
“Yeah well, given the circumstances…” you started.
It wasn’t common for you both to be alone together because his roommates were either always around or he wasn’t even there himself.
Jungwon had stated on the phone that Anton was out with some friends or whatever while Taesan wanted to see his girlfriend.
“I want you.” you finished.
“Did you ever do this to Jake?” he taunted.
Right. The ex situationship whose heart you broke which ended with awkward tension in the friend group because you didn’t wait long before running to Jungwon. It was known by all your friends that you and Jake were absolute freaks in bed.
And although the smoke had infiltrated your thoughts, you still knew that you were going to have Jungwon one way or another tonight.
“No. Only you. I just want you.”
He lifted his body off yours and sat back against the headboard of his bed.
“Yeah?” he smirked as he let out another cloud of smoke. “You want me?”
You nodded as you bit into the plush skin of your cheek.
“Show me how bad you want me.” he mockingly nodded back as he spread his legs invitingly.
You wasted no time in crawling over and planting yourself in between his legs.
Jungwon placed an arm behind his head as you unbuckled his belt and slowly pulled down his jeans and boxers.
He make a snarky comment about you taking your time.
“I’ve got time.” you joked.
You inhaled before slowly blowing cold air onto the head of his cock.
“Ugh.. fuck.” he groaned. “Suck on it baby.”
You wrapped your lips around the tip as you jerked the rest of him off to get him fully hard.
He took another drag as you lifted your head off him and began to tease him by licking a stripe along the protruding vein on his fat cock.
“Stop teasing me, ___.”
You laughed in response, “Be patient-”
The full sentence never left your mouth as your head whipped to the side. The stinging pain in the shape of a handprint coursed through your body all the way down to a throbbing sensation between your legs.
“Fuck..” Came out from your lips as a whine.
Jungwon wrapped his free hand through your hair and forced you onto his length.
“Open your throat, baby.” he asked. “I know you can take it.”
He bucked his hips relentlessly as he chased his own high without any regard for your breathing.
Tears formed in your eyes as you attempted to match his unruly pace without choking.
Being vocal about his pleasure wasn’t unusual when he was with you, but every time it turned you on even more.
“You’re taking me so well baby.”
You gagged over and over again as spit leaked out of your mouth and dripped all over his thighs.
He peeked open an eye to see you struggling to breathe and immediately pulled you off by your hair.
You coughed hysterically before attempting to suck him off again. He pushed you away once more.
“Sorry.. I got a bit carried away.” he inspected your face to see if anything was wrong.
You rested your face onto the palm on your cheek, “It’s fine, I like it.”
He chuckled, “Of course you do.”
You placed your mouth onto his length once more and jerked off whatever your mouth couldn’t reach, using your other hand to play with his balls.
Instead of resting in your hair like before, Jungwon snaked his hand around your throat, lightly testing the waters as he pushed on your pressure points.
The vibrations of you moaning sent chills all over his body.
“You like that?” he bit onto his bottom lip while pressing harder.
You hummed in response.
“You slut, I’m not surprised.” he degraded. “A freak like yourself would probably get off on me tying you up and making you watch me or some shit like that.”
Your thighs rubbed together as you moaned, feeling yourself get closer to your high without even being touched by him.
His words alone had you right where he wanted you.
“Fuck, babe i’m close.” he moaned. “I know you are, cum with me.”
Your eyes rolled back as he shot his load into the back of your throat causing you to come right after him as you struggled to swallow all he was giving you.
But you wanted to show him how good you could be.
So good that he wouldn’t need to keep fucking around with other people.
Jungwon felt himself get hard again as he watched you stick out your tongue to show that you’d swallowed everything.
“You’re so hot.” he whimpered before putting out the cig.
“Thanks, I know.” you smirked.
It wasn’t a secret that you’d been good looking your whole life. You even managed to pull the whole friend group at once, having all the boys wrapped around your finger.
But with Jungwon it was different, from the moment that he first laid eyes on you, he knew that he had to have you. He had to have you under his control.
Wasting no time, he pushed you onto your back then ripped his shirt off.
“You actually came?” he laughed menacingly. “I didn’t even touch you.”
Your hands covered your face in very little to no embarrassment as you nodded.
He pulled them away before opening your jaw and spitting into your mouth.
Giving you no time to swallow, he attacked your lips and began to messily lick, bite and tug them till they were swollen.
The two of you didn’t usually kiss, not wanting to cross the line. Like you hadn’t already done so longgg ago…
When he pulled away the two of you were connected by a single string of spit.
“Don’t cover your face pretty, look at me.”
As he stared into your own blown eyes he knew that he wouldn’t stop until he had you begging him to.
One second your mini skirt hugged your hips and the next it was ripped and tossed onto the floor.
“Jungwon!” you pouted. “That one’s my favourite.”
He ripped open your shirt and unclasped your bra before biefly sucking on each tit.
“I’ll just buy you another one.” he huffed as he shuffled down the bed to be face to face with your pussy.
He pulled down your panties awfully slowly before pushing your legs up to your chest and telling you to hold them.
Watching your hole gape and grasp around nothing led him to blow cold air onto your clit, trying to get a reaction out of you.
Your hips bucked up and you whined.
“Wonie, please.” you begged.
He laughed at you again.
“You see how you don’t like it when it’s your turn, huh?”
You huffed. “I’m sorry.”
You really weren’t. And you’d do it again just to see him react in the same way.
He licked at your slick with a long groan before replacing the hold on your thighs with his own hands and diving in.
Obscene noises came from your lower body as he fingered you open with two fingers and practically made out with your clit before switching to rub figure eights and curl his tongue against your sweet spot.
Your fingers wove their way into his hair as the moans leaving your mouth grew in volume.
Clit still sensitive from the first orgasm led you to tug at the locks on his scalp and pull him away.
He got the message for like two seconds before wrapping his lips onto it again.
“I know you can take it baby, come on.” he goaded while sticking a third finger into your heat. “Be good for me.”
“I can take it.” you moaned at the sight before you.
The lower half of his face was covered in your essence while his heavy lidded eyes intoxicatingly stared into your soul.
If you could etch this version of him into your brain to watch over and over, you would.
You threw your head back against the sheets as he plunged his thick fingers into you again, repeatedly hitting the spot that you needed him at.
“I’m so close… so close!” you cried. “Nngh.. Jungwon please!”
Your hips thrashed as you felt the coil teetering on the edge of a powerful orgasm.
Then he pulled away.
“Ugh!” you complained. “WHY would you do that?!”
“Fuck.” he moaned, ignoring you while he sucked on his fingers and closed his eyes due to the intense pleasure. “You taste so fucking good.”
“Jungwon?” you glared. “Hellooo, earth to Jungwon.”
He got up onto his knees and lined himself up against you.
“Figured you’d want to come on my dick instead.” he shrugged.
You couldn’t even roll your eyes in annoyance because he knew you so well.
He slowly eased himself in as you reached behind his shoulders to pull him into you.
“Fuck… you’re so warm. So tight.” he moaned out. “Can you take it?”
Your legs pushed at his lower back to indicate that you wanted allll of him.
The stretch was the best part. It had you feeling like every atom in your body had split and reverted as you felt a fullness inside you that only he could reach.
“You’re so big.” you babbled. “So big..”
“Already drunk on my cock… fuck baby.”
You nodded as you begged him to move, “Please, I can take it.”
He wasted no time in thrusting into you at a rapid pace, not even giving you a second to adjust.
“Fuckkk. Wonie, faster.”
Jungwon pounded into your heat as he moaned into your ear.
“Taking me so well.” he whimpered. “Like this pussy was made for me. Made for my cock.”
“Only you.” you moaned pathetically while your nails scratched down his back feeling overwhelmed from the sensation of his nipples rubbing against yours.
His dick was so good that you wanted to tell him you loved him then and there.
Already close from the orgasm that was ripped away from you, he rubbed your clit as your thighs began to shake.
“Hold on baby, let’s cum together.”
He lifted the upper half off his body and laced your fingers together.
“I’m so close.. fuck!” you sobbed. “Daddy, please let me cum.”
His hips faltered as you felt his tip twitch inside you.
“Daddy, huh?” he grinned. “Fuck, baby. Daddy’s gonna have you crying over this cock.”
He seemed to go at a pace that was impossibly faster than before not giving you time to process your words as he had you cumming all over him.
The feeling of your walls squeezing him and milking him for an orgasm sent him over the edge.
You both whimpered and moaned as the air began to feel heavy.
You whined at the feeling of his still hard dick pulling out, watching as Jungwon fixated on the cum leaking out of you.
“Fuck. You can give me another one right?” He pleaded. “Give Daddy another one, baby.”
You shook your head.
“‘s too much.”
You couldn’t even think straight as you stared into space.
“I know, I know.” he pouted. “One more for me, then we’ll stop.”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.” he whispered back as he flipped you onto your stomach.
He pulled your hips up and pushed your head down into the mattress as your spine automatically arched to the position that you knew he loved.
“Fuck.” he cried as he pushed back into you.
Once again he wasted no time in fucking into you at a rapid pace, crying out as you clenched around him.
“Faster! Please daddy.” your cried into the sheets as he slapped your ass.
You were wayyy past the point of being cock drunk but the same was for him. His brain fogged up as the only thoughts coming through were that he wanted no. needed to have you writhing under him again.
He circled your clit and lifted up your leg to hit the deepest spot possible.
The mix of your past releases ran down the back of your thighs and stuck to the front of his.
Your tears soaked the duvet while your mouth hung open, drool seeping down.
Jungwon felt himself get close again but with the way you were twitching under his hold he could feel that something was different.
“Can I cum? Please daddy.” you sobbed.
“Yeah, baby. You’ve done so well for me.” he praised.
A weird but familiar sensation built up inside you leaving you to attempt to pull off Jungwon.
He pulled you right back and continued abusing your hole.
“No, no, no!” you cried as you squirted so hard that his cock slipped out and your body slumped down feeling spent.
Jungwon came all over your lower back at the sight. He could confidently say that was the longest orgasm he’d had in a very long time.
A loud ringing subsided in your ear as you felt the loss of his body heat.
Too tired to say anything, you patiently waited for him to come back.
He scooped you up princess style and took you the bath that he’d started.
You hummed contentedly as he scrubbed all over your body.
“Can we just sit here for a while?” you asked, voice hoarse from all the shouting.
He nodded as he snuggled up to your back.
The two of you stayed there for however long until Jungwon got out so he could quickly change his sheets before coming back to fully dry you off and help you apply lotion.
You followed him to his room again with shaky legs, allowing him to dress you in one of his shirts and boxers.
“Let me get you some water.” he said, caressing your cheek.
You followed after him into the kitchen despite his warnings to stay put.
Your legs gave way after like 6 steps.
“Fuck daddy! You’re so big!” came a voice from the couch.
Anton cackled at you as Taesan mocked the obscene dialogue that went on between you and Jungwon.
“Nice to know he fucks you well.” the former taunted.
“Fuck off.” you rolled your eyes as you struggled to stand up.
“Why don’t you get up first?” Taesan chuckled.
“Ugh, I thought you two weren’t even in tonight?” you grumbled.
They looked confused. “Now who said- ”
“Okayyy! Let’s go.” Jungwon conveniently interrupted.
He placed the water on the counter so he could pick you up then grabbed the glass again as he walked to his room.
You flipped off his roommates who made kissing faces at you.
"What the fuck happened to your back?" Anton commented on the red scratches running down his back.
"Heard he likes his girls the way he likes his cats." Was the last thing you heard before Jungwon slammed the door shut with his foot.
With you placed on the bed, he began to flutter around the room arranging random things.
The only thing you found interesting were the french tip nails - that he paid for! - as you thought about everything that had just happened.
First he lied to you about his roommates being there considering he knew that you always held back whenever they were in the apartment, secondly he kissed you - you never kissed each other but he did it so casually and third, the urge to tell him that you loved him.
You knew that what you felt for Jungwon was different to what you were supposed to but but how could you not? Your relationship was anything but casual.
Half of his closet stored your clothes and your shower routine products were literally in his bathroom cabinet. He always acted possessively over you whenever you’d meet with his other friends and didn’t even correct people when they said you looked like a cute couple.
But then he’d go and fuck the other people on his roster and you’d be reminded that you weren’t the only one when he’d post a soft launch on instagram.
“Wonie.” you called out.
He hummed in response while folding some clothes into his suitcase.
“Can we talk?” you asked timidly.
He stopped what he was doing and sat next to you.
“What do you mean, __?” he asked back as he held your face.
Wow, not even a nickname.
“I mean that… I just…”
Jungwon assured you that you could speak to him about whatever you were thinking about.
Fuck him for being so understanding.
You couldn’t even stop the words from coming out of your mouth,
“I think I love you.” you blurted out before covering your mouth in shock. “… I’m gonna go-”
He pulled you back in by your waist and kissed you delicately as if you were fragile and he needed to protect you from harm.
Butterflies erupted in your stomach when he pulled back to rest his forehead against yours.
“You finally caught on.” he smiled.
“Finally?” you frowned. “What do you mean finally?”
“I’ve liked you ever since I laid eyes on you.” he grinned. “Had to wait for stupid Jake to get out of the way.”
“Let’s not talk about Jake right now.” you laughed.
“I’m being serious.”
“What about the other people that you keep seeing?”
Jungwon rolled onto his back in a fit of laughter.
“At one point or another, I called them your name.” he smiled.
You gasped.
“No you didn’t!”
He nodded.
“With all of them?!”
“Come on, you’re making me seem like a man whore. It was only 5 people.” he groaned. “Not my best choice but yeah I called them all off agess ago.”
The laughing died down as you lay next to him.
“__ __, I know i’ve been a bit of a prick- ”
“Major prick.” you giggled.
“Right, major prick.” he smiled. “But I was wondering.. If you wanted to be my girlfriend?”
You nodded with an uncontrollable smile.
“I’d love to.”
He pounced onto you as he squeezed the life out of you stating that he was the happiest man alive.
A selfie of the two of you was posted to his story with the caption ‘My gf😍, back off bitches 😒’ and he tossed his phone to the side as it began to blow up with ‘congratulations’ and ‘finally’.
The two of you cuddled under the sheets as he played your favourite movie (he claimed it was his fav too 🙄)
Exhaustion overwhelmed your senses as you let sleep carry you.
Jungwon studied your features as he always did before snuggling up to you.
“I love you too.” he whispered.
THE END.
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raising hell all over town
pairing: best friend's dad!joel x f!reader
summary: you've been a friend of sarah's since you were old enough to steal bottles of her dad's whiskey for parties. sarah was always the sensible one in your friendship, getting you out of the trouble you usually started. but now sarah has gone off to college, who else but joel could pick up the pieces?
content/warnings: 18+ mdni. alcohol. drugs. age gap. violence/fighting. smut: unprotected p in v, spanking
a/n: inspired by this gif set, and the wonderful @amanitacowboy & @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for introducing me to that yellowstone scene kind of nervous about this, my first proper smutty fic - i find smut really difficult to write for some reason (weird because i'm feral horny 24/7) so this was kinda out of my comfort zone but i hope you all enjoy! PSA: i no longer have a taglist! feel free to follow my updates blog @sempersirenswrites and turn the post notifs on to be notified when i post a new fic :)
Friday nights in Austin felt incomplete without Sarah by your side.
For years, she had been the epitome of your partner in crime; dragging you back to her place or putting you in a cab before the cops were called.
Had it not been for your fierce loyalty and protectiveness over Sarah, you're sure her dad would've barred you from the house years ago. Sarah was smarter than you in almost every way. Academically, emotionally, you name it.
Joel knew this, and he trusted the two of you together knowing you both balanced the other out. Watching the two of you reminded Joel of a younger version of himself and Tommy, always thankful that Sarah had followed in his footsteps as opposed to her uncle's.
Your relationship with your parents was rocky, to say the least, and the Miller's house had always been a safe haven for you. Joel had patched up your split lip or bloody nose more times than he wanted to admit for a girl your age. He swore he'd kill your old man one day for the states you'd turned up to their house in.
Still, he couldn't help but feel the urge to grab you by the shoulders and shake some sense into you from time to time. As much as his heart broke for you, it was also in your nature to be a damn brat. Joel had endured countless stifling days spent by the pool forcing himself to not let his eyes linger on the curves of your hips. He struggled to look you in the eye when he saw you sat on the kitchen counter waiting to leave for a party, your mini skirt riding dangerously high on your thighs.
There had been times when he had been reckless. Times that he'd had to pull himself away from your invisible grip on him and relieve his tension in the bathroom, fisting his cock onto the shower floor, biting down on the shape of your name on his tongue.
When he'd re-emerge into the living room, he knew that you knew. You'd look through your eyelashes at him and smile. His cheeks flushed, shame setting in at the speed at which he'd cum from the thought of your pussy clenching around his shaft.
He would never let it show, but something would rush through his body when he'd ask Sarah what the hell she do this time? He remembered one time in particular, as Sarah relayed the events of the night that had led to your bloody nose, he'd looked over at you perching on the counter. With blood leaking down your cupid's bow, you'd locked eyes with him and ran your tongue across your lip, revelling in the remnants of your victory.
Still, you had fine enough nights out with the girls from work. They just didn't get you the way Sarah did. They would shoot you judgemental glances from across the bar that lasted until the Monday back at work for whatever you had done this time that they disapproved of.
"They're just dull. You should see the way they look at me for literally just hooking up with guys." You had lamented to Sarah over the phone while you were both getting ready for your respective nights out on separate sides of the country.
"It's probably because they've seen you get through an entire friendship group before your second drink."
"Well, they should be taking notes. Tell me nobody at college is as fun as me." Jealousy tore through your chest at the thought of Sarah spending her time with new friends.
"Nobody here is as fun as you. They're very... reserved." You scoffed at her politeness.
"Babe, just say they're boring."
"I'm giving them a chance. Anyway, gotta go. Text me tomorrow and tell me the damage. Love ya!"
"Don't have too much fun without me. Love you too."
Despite their judging looks, you were always the first person they called upon to finish any mess they had gotten themselves into. Still, you were happy to oblige, even if it meant a few awkward minutes of silence at the coffee machine on Monday.
The group of you had poured out of an Uber into the busy bar around nine o'clock, buzzing with the confidence of your pre-drinks. Rounds of shots were ordered and consumed at a dizzying pace, and soon enough, bags of powder were discreetly distributed across the table.
"Bathroom?" Hannah, one of your closest and least judgmental co-workers nudged you.
"Thought you'd never ask." The two of you sauntered away from the table, hand-in-hand, quickly bundling into a tight cubicle.
The bathroom filled up as the two of you tried to be as silent as possible, scooping your pinky nails into the small bag.
"Hurry the fuck up!" Someone from outside the cubicle called, thudding her fists against the door.
"Get fucked." You called back, muttering this bitch under your breath to Hannah.
As the two of you packed your things back into your handbags, the cubicle door jolted half open, smacking Hannah in the shoulder.
"Are you fucking serious?" You shouted at the small brunette on the other side of the door, checking Hannah over for injury.
"You hit me, you bitch." She straightened herself up, rubbing her shoulder.
"I'll do worse if you don't fucking move." The brunette hissed in her face.
You screwed your face up and shoved her, making her stumble backwards into the sink. The other girls in the bathroom grabbed their bags and scurried to the exit, evidently not wanting to be caught in the crossfire.
"Apologise." You said, moving toward the girl who was now pulling herself up with the help of the basins on either side of her.
"Fuck you." She spat, saliva hitting your cheek before she lunged forward.
Your fist connected with her nose before she even had time to swing, and your right hand secured a tight grip on the back of her hair.
"I said, apologise to my friend."
"I'm sorry." She choked, pathetically. Her face shrivelled in fear and pain.
"Not so fuckin' big now, are you?" Hannah said, which was ironic, considering the girl who had bruised her was now quivering under your fist.
Content with her apology, you released your grip on her and re-entered the bar with Hannah trailing behind you. As you both rejoined your table, you felt a tap on your shoulder.
"Our friend said you just attacked her in the bathroom." Another petite girl looked up at you, one hand on her hip.
"She hit my friend, here. Was just trying to teach her some manners."
The entirety of your group was now turned to face you, exchanging harsh whispers of your name followed by just leave it.
"You broke her nose!" The girl shrilled. You looked over her shoulder to the girl doubled over, clutching her bloody nose with an ensemble of people crowding around her.
"No, I think it just looks like that."
You grinned at the rage growing behind her eyes, your smile unfaltering even as her fist collided with your cheek.
"Harder." You shouted, rolling your neck from side to side.
"What?!"
"Come on, hit me harder. I know you got it in you." She didn't take much convincing; her next punch knocked you backwards onto the table as everyone rushed to tear the two of you apart.
You stepped forward to finally let her have it when a pair of strong hands pulled you back.
"Get off!" You shouted, kicking against who you assumed to be security throwing you out. You just hoped they weren't calling the cops, too.
"C'mon, doll. You've had enough fun for one night." A familiar Southern drawl cooed, dragging you out into the warm night. "Now, that wasn't very ladylike of you, darlin'."
He let you go from his grip and you turned to face him. To your surprise, you were met with the smirk of the younger Miller brother.
"Tommy." You breathed, "I didn't see you in there."
"Well, lucky I noticed you ain't it." He grinned.
Spending so much time at the Miller's had you well acquainted with Sarah's uncle Tommy. He'd seen you in much worse states than this, and in turn, so had you.
"Didn't need you to swoop in and save me, Tommy."
"Wasn't saving you, sweetheart. Was savin' that poor girl." You both smiled at the tone of pride in his voice.
"You got somewhere to go, trouble? Don't think you should be hangin' round here for too long."
"Can't exactly go home bleeding from my face." You sighed, realising you probably hadn't thought this through. You missed Sarah.
Tommy fished around in his pocket for his phone before raising it to his ear.
"Hey, big brother." Your stomach flipped. "No, no- it's not me. Joel, listen." You could almost hear Joel on the other end of the phone, witnessing it in person more times than you could count. It's not even ten o'clock yet, don't tell me you're locked up already.
"Our favourite little troublemaker needs a place to crash tonight. I'd drive her over but I've already had my fair share of beers. Okay, great. I'll tell her."
Once he'd hung up, Tommy told you that Joel was on his way to come and pick you up. You could feel your heartbeat in your stomach. You'd never been alone with Joel for longer than a couple of hours at most, let alone spending the night at his while Sarah was out of town. Something inside of you twitched in excitement, a warm rush settling deep in your belly.
You told Tommy to go back into the bar, that Joel wouldn't be long and you'd walk down the street to meet him in case those girls came out looking for another round.
As you made your way underneath the streetlights toward the direction of the Miller's house, you pulled your compact from your bag and touched up your make-up, re-curling your lashes and dousing a thick layer of clear lipgloss onto your lips, not bothering to tend to any of the blood trickling down your skin. You spritzed yourself with perfume and ran a brush through your hair, smiling at the thought of Joel seeing you waiting on the curbside for him.
Right on cue, his truck pulled around the corner. You raised your hand and wiggled your fingers, a small smirk spreading across your cheeks.
You were grateful for your earlier decision to wear your knee-high boots with a denim mini-skirt, adding a little extra sway to your hips as you made your way to the passenger side of Joel's truck. You climbed in and turned to face him, flashing him a toothy grin, well aware of the blood staining your teeth.
"You're a damn mess, princess." Something deep inside of you came to life at his words, causing you to visibly clench your exposed thighs together. "S'there I was, thinking to myself how thankful I am for a peaceful night after workin' lates all week. When my phone rings, just as I'd sat down and made myself comfortable."
"Peace is overrated." You replied.
"So, what did you do this time? Steal another cop car? Break into a hotel pool? Make out with someone's husband?"
You played with the hem of your skirt as he spoke, blushing as he listed a few of your past activities he'd either bailed you out of or heard about from Sarah.
"I didn't start this one." You said, a slight whine in your voice. "Someone hit my friend, I was just looking out for her."
"Your friend can't fight her own battles?"
"You never have a problem when it's Sarah I'm throwing punches for."
He scoffed. "Now, you know I've always taught her to never start a fight but always to finish one. You on the other hand, I don't think nobody's taught you anythin' of the sort."
"And are you gonna be the one to do that, Mr Miller?" You mimicked his Texan accent, which was much thicker than yours, and parted your legs in your seat ever so slightly.
"If I didn't know you better, darlin', I'd think you were tryin' to get me in some sort of trouble."
He pulled into the driveway and switched the ignition off before jogging to your side of the truck and holding the door open for you, as well as offering you an outstretched hand.
"Always such a gentleman." You smiled, looking at him through your eyelashes as you stepped out, hand in his.
He exhaled out of his nose, shaking his head softly as he slammed the door shut behind you. His hand moved to the small of your back, guiding you into the house.
"Sarah's bed is all made up, I'm sure you know where her clothes are f'you wanna change into something more... comfortable." His eyes trailed down your figure, your clothes hugging all the right places.
"Do you not like my outfit?" You pouted, holding your hands behind your back and sticking your chest out, swaying from side to side.
"Course not, y'look real pretty. Just thought you'd wanna watch TV before going to sleep is all." Joel brought a hand to the back of his head, rubbing his neck nervously as his eyes shifted to the floor.
For such a handsome man, he was so damn insecure. Maybe it was the gentleman in him, thinking that it was wrong for someone his age to want someone the same age as his daughter. He knew you didn't think like that, Sarah had told him multiple stories about the older men you'd hooked with at the bar.
He'd even caught you making out with a kid from your school's dad a few years ago when he'd come to pick you and Sarah up from a party. Joel had seemingly known the man, and you remembered how he'd stalked out of his truck and toward you both, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and warning him that his wife wasn't going to like hearing about this.
So, you kicked off your boots and took yourself upstairs into Sarah's bedroom. Not bothering to close the blinds, you peeled your clothes off and looked at yourself in the full length mirror.
The warmth of your earlier drinks still coated your inhibitions. You knew you looked good in your black lace set, breasts sat perkily on your chest and your ass cheeks the perfect handfuls.
Fuck it. If he wasn't going to be ballsy enough to make the first move, maybe you should.
You kissed the tips of your fingers and pressed them against a framed photo of you and Sarah giggling at whatever was going on behind the camera.
"Sorry, Sarah." You whispered, before making your way down the stairs.
Joel heard you coming but was too preoccupied fighting with the TV remote control to turn around and face you just yet.
"If I can get this damn thing to work I think they're showin' Scarface at ten, I know you said you ain't seen it so thought we could watch it."
"Sounds good," you spoke, your voice more honeyed than usual. "Hey, Joel. Do you think this will be comfy enough?"
He whipped his head around quickly, ready to give you the same kind of answer he did whenever Sarah asked for his opinion in a changing room. It took a second for him to register what he was looking at, but when it clicked he dropped the remote to the floor and turned his whole body to face you.
"What the hell," his face turned bright red, unsure what to do with his hands. You could give him a few ideas.
"You not like it?" You asked, voice low as you walked slowly in his direction.
His trousers began to tighten around his hardening cock and you smiled, glad that you were indeed on the same page.
"Course I- I, what the hell are you playin' at?"
"Come on, Joel. I gotta make up for interrupting your peaceful night somehow."
You closed the gap between you both and placed a hand delicately on his chest, tracing circles with the tip of your long, manicured nails.
Joel swallowed hard.
"This ain't right." He said weakly, his eyes betraying his words as they devoured the sight of your body before him.
"Cut the shit, Joel. I know you want me, and I want you."
He didn't answer, but instead threw you over his shoulder and carried you up to his bedroom, placing a couple of firm smacks on your ass as you wriggle against his strong grip. Your stomach did backflips, exhilarated at the prospect of what was about to happen.
Upon entering his room, he threw you roughly onto the bed and worked at undoing his belt as you scrambled onto your back, resting on your elbows.
"Y'know what I really thought when Tommy called, tellin' me I needed to come pick you up?" He said, although it didn't sound much like a question. "I thought, this dumb slut needs some sense fucking into her."
You moaned at his words, basking in the side of him that you knew always existed.
“Thought t’myself, she needs teachin’ some fuckin' manners f’once.”
Joel stalked around the side of the bed and sat and patted his lap. Wordlessly, you shifted your weight next to him and dangled your legs over the side of the bed.
He brought his right hand in between your thighs, making you shiver at the feeling of his coarse fingers grazing your skin. He ran his fingers up and down the length of your thigh, each time stopping short of the hem of your skirt.
"This is what you want, ain't it sweetheart?" He spoke lowly, voice gravelly and as rough as his touch. Each night spent tangled and alone in your sheets, fingers grazing your soaked folds with his name on your lips felt redundant. Nothing could come close to the feel of his skin on yours.
Pulling you from your trance, he slapped your inner thigh hard when you didn't respond. "Need t'hear you say it."
"Yes,' you moan through gritted teeth, surprised you can even find your voice. "This is what I need."
Sick of his incessant teasing, you clamber onto his lap and hook your fingers around the back of his neck.
"But I think you need this just as much, Mr Miller. You must get so lonely in this house all by yourself. Sarah always tells me how you never have any lady friends hanging around."
You straddle his lap and grip his neck for support, softly grinding yourself on the hardness of his lap. He moves a hand from your waist to roughly seize your chin, tipping your face down to meet his gaze.
"Your old man must've forgot to teach you some manners, little girl." His low voice tore through your body.
Joel hoists your skirt up to your waist and flips you underneath him in one swift motion. His body looms over yours, fingers trailing a rough and jagged line down to where you need him most. He moved at an antagonising slow pace, but you can't bring yourself to give into his little game by begging for more.
"Here's what we're gonna do, darlin'. You're gonna be a good girl f'me and tell daddy exactly what happened tonight." The mouth on him.
The way your body writhed and squirmed at his words didn't go unnoticed. With no warning, he plunged two thick digits inside of you and held them deep in place, his face inches away from yours.
"N'if you stutter, or lie, or say anythin' I don't like for that matter, you'll be over my knee, red-raw," his fingers curl inside of you and you bite back a moan, desperate to not let him have the upper hand.
"No matter how much you cry those pretty little eyes out, I won't quit 'til you've learnt somethin'. Understood?"
You suck a breath in through your nose, a sharp sting reminding you of the open wound still decorating your face.
"Yes, sir."
part 2 coming soon
taglist: @cool-iguana @nostalxgic @chaotic-mystery @beardedjoel
#my fic#the last of us#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x reader#tlou fanfiction#joel tlou#joel miller x female reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfic#dee rambles#pedrohub#joel miller fanfic#joel miller#joel x reader#no use of y/n#the last of us hbo#the last of us fanfiction#tlou hbo#tlou#joel miller smut#the last of us series#tlou series#dee writes
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May i please request Billie x super girly/soft reader? They were friends for years and recently started dating and everyone has always questioned their relationship since they're polar opposites? Tysm!
pink bows- billie eilish
summary: you and billie are completely different, but thats what makes you great. unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way. when some of the hate gets too much, billie knows how to comfort you. word count: 1.4k warnings: none
billie eilish was indubitably the most gorgeous girl you’d ever seen. with the perfect balance of masculine and feminine energy, the perfect balance of cocky and humble, it was hard not to fall for her. you’d known since the moment the two of you became friends that you liked her in a more than just friends way. nothing had happened between the two of you until a couple months back, and when she publicly came out, she also revealed your relationship to the world.
people had known about your friendship, her posting you frequently on her story. people always replied, saying you guys were goals, your contrast being perfect. see, while billie opted for baggy clothes and a hat, you always leaned towards a tank top and a mini skirt, or a nice dress. you always stood out by her side, especially when you wore pink, which was usually. whether it was a pink purse or some detailing on your clothes, you always had it on. you loved the support you got from her fans. they were a light amongst all the hate you received as well.
so, when billie posted a photo of you two kissing, and then when she took you to the grammy’s as her date, you expected more support than what you’d got. besides the blatant homophobia, your dissimilarity had gone from something that made you “goals” to something that got in the way of dating. you received many messages saying things like “what do they even have to talk abt?” or “they literally have nothing in common, this has to be pr.”
you focused your energy on ignoring the comments, taking moments to appreciate the supportive fans who seemed overjoyed with the announcement. when the hate seemed to slow down, billie posted you again. this time, the two of you were matching, both of you in pink tshirts. billie’s shirt was baggy and paired well with her jeans, while yours was a tighter fitting tank paired with a jean skirt. despite all the positivity, new hate comments were coming in. people accused you of trying to turn her into you, saying you were taking away from her style. this was only on one end of the scale, your dms had become flooded with death threats too.
it started to become a lot. you started to pull away from billie a little, taking a little longer to answer her messages, making excuses to not see her, avoiding being in any photos she took. you couldn’t avoid her forever, though. billie wasn’t stupid. being new to the relationship meant you were both afraid to have serious discussions, worried about how it would turn out. on your side, you were scared that billie would think you were stupid or weak for letting the haters get to you. on her side, she was scared to ask what was wrong, worried that you’d either fallen out of love with her or that she’d push you too far.
the last straw was when you finally made plans with her to go get food. she stopped in your driveway, knowing you were probably strapping your heels or running back for your keys that were adorned with a pink bow, and pulled out her phone. she didn’t even realize when you’d walked out of the house until you pulled open the car door. she looked up at you, smiling, until she took in your outfit. you were in simple jeans with a black long sleeve, basic shoes, your hair down, and no makeup. there wasn’t a hint of pink, or girliness, in your outfit. her smile faltered and she tilted her head to the side in confusion. you planted a kiss on her lips in greeting.
“hey,” you said.
“hi,” she said back, uncertainty still evident.
“whats wrong?” you asked, knowing full well what was up.
she started the car, beginning the drive before she spoke again.
“uhm, nothing,” she said, “its just… i’ve never seen you in an outfit like this.”
“do you not like it?” you asked, worried, “i-i just wasn’t feeling the pink.”
“no no, you look great baby,” billie objected, “but, you weren’t feeling the pink? i never thought i’d hear that from you.”
“does it matter?” you snapped, “we’re just going to get food. sorry i don’t wanna put on a dress and heels.”
you crossed your arms, looking out the window. you heard billie sigh and if you would’ve been looking, you would’ve seen the way she bit her lip in thought and glanced over at you, plotting her next words.
“y/n whats been up with you recently?” billie asked nervously.
“what do you mean?” you said.
“well, i don’t know, you just haven’t been yourself recently,” she took a breath, considering whether or not she’d say what had been on her mind.
“do you- do you not like me anymore or something?” she said, eyes flicking between you and the road.
“no, no, billie, thats not it. i promise,” you said, turning to face her while grabbing her hand off the console.
“okay,” she said, smiling a little out of relief, “then what is it? and don’t say nothing.”
“honestly,” you breathed out, “i was just trying to fit in with you more.”
“fit in with me more?” she asked, confused.
“i don’t know, it feels kind of stupid to say,” you confessed honestly.
“it’s not stupid, baby, i promise. just tell me,” she comforted, placing a kiss on the back of your hand.
“well, ever since we went public, i’ve been getting all these comments and dms about how i’m taking away from your style when we match, and how we don’t match, and how we look like a pr stunt because i dress in pink and girly and you don’t,” you said, looking down.
“i guess i just got tired of it. i want people to see us and know we’re together, for real,” you muttered.
“y/n,” billie said, squeezing your hand, “how could you call that stupid?”
“i just shouldn’t have let the hate get to me,” you said.
“its not your fault,” she said, finally arriving at the restaurant drive through.
you sat still for a moment as she ordered the food and picked it up. she parked in the parking lot, finally looking over to you for more than a second.
“y/n, i like your style. i don’t want you to change, for me or for anyone else. part of what makes us work is that we’re different. i know its annoying having people think it isn’t real, but we know the truth, that’s what matters,” she said, taking your hand in hers and placing a kiss on the back again.
you looked at her, biting your lip shyly. you smiled slightly, trying to fight it a little, but it was hard. your cheeks were burning as you looked at her.
“there’s that pretty smile,” she cooed, smiling back at you.
“i love you,” you said.
“i love you more,” she replied, leaning over the console to kiss you on the lips.
she snagged your house keys from the cup holders in the middle, untying the pink ribbon that adorned it.
“give me your hand,” she spoke.
you offered it to her and she gently picked up your left hand, carefully tying a bow on your ring finger, making you blush harder. you quickly rooted through your own bag, finding and untying the pink bow that was on your car keys.
“give me yours,” you said.
she gave it to you, and you tied the ribbon on her ring finger, just as she had done to you, before leaning over to kiss her lips briefly. you pulled away, holding her hand and admiring the two pink bows, knowing one day those bows would become rings.
“lets go,” you said.
she pulled out of the parking lot and as she drove, you snagged a picture of your hands, one that was sure to become a wallpaper, a constant reminder of your love and how it transcends what anyone thinks.
#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fluff#wlw
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Flight - CC
Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: You hate flying (based on THIS request)
Warnings: Soft CC, also kinda sorta cliche
Word Count: 2.9k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: Our girls smile is everything.
Since meeting Caitlin, she has gotten you to do a lot of things that were out of your comfort zone. Most of the time it was willing. It was only on a select few times that it was unwilling. This was one of them.
Your leg is going a mile a minute bouncing up and down, as you wait for what is going to be the last few hours of you on earth.
"Calm down," Caitlin says as she hits your leg. Your leg tapping doesn't waiver as you just stare at your best friend.
Leading up to this moment has been you trying everything in your power to get out of this trip. The only issue with that was there is only one person on this planet that was more persistent than you and that was Caitlin. That is how you ended up waiting to board a plane to Cancun.
In your mind, you were still trying to find a way out. It didn't matter than you were already at the airport or through TSA, you had not gotten on the plane therefore could still go home. Forget the fact that Caitlin paid for literally everything on this trip to get you to go, including first class seats. Forget the fact that half of her team was already there awaiting your arrival. Forget the fact that you would literally have to fight her to leave the airport any other way than on the plane heading to Cancun.
The wait was even longer as Caitlin is always one of the last to board to avoid slowing down the boarding process.
When one of the flight attendants comes in to the lounge to get the two of you, you don't move an inch. Caitlin stands and slings her backpack and begins walking out when she sees aren't by her. She turns around and sees you sitting still.
"I'm not going," you say, not looking at her in the eye.
"Come on," Caitlin says ignoring your statement.
"I can't," you say.
Caitlin circles back, trying with every fiber in her being to not be annoyed with you. She got you this far, she is getting you on this plane.
"You can and you will," Caitlin says while grabbing your bag and waiting for you to get up.
You look up at her and she sees the pure fear in your eyes - she immediately softens. She puts the bags down and crouches in front of you, almost as if you were a child.
"You can do this," she says softly.
Caitlin knew exactly how much to push you, she knew what you could and couldn't take. It came with the 10 year friendship that the two of you held. This though, she knew this would be borderline.
"I can't," you say as your leg finally stops tapping. "I'm sorry."
Your eyes fall to the floor and Caitlin pulls your arm to stand up. You feel defeated. There was no real reason you should be this afraid of flying considering nor you or anyone you know has ever gotten in a plane accident. You fear came from a stupid documentary of a plane crash that happened in the late 50's that wasn't found until decades later.
Caitlin pulls you into a hug and you sigh into her shoulder.
"I will be right next to you the whole time okay?" Caitlin says and you give a small nod. She quickly grabs the two of your bags and grabs your hand. Partly for comfort, partly to make sure you don't run away from her.
The two of you board the plane. You initially sitting next to the window but then have Caitlin sit next to the window so you could be in the aisle. You then remember that if you hit any turbulence and there are carts in the aisle, they could hit you so you have Caitlin sit in the aisle seat while you take the window. After switching 2 more times you finally settle in the window seat.
"Thank you for not getting annoyed with the switching," you say as you buckle your seatbelt and make sure you are securely strapped in. You tighten it more than you should and Caitlin notices. She leans over and unbuckles your seatbelt. You are about to say something but she shushes you and loosens your seatbelt to it is not cutting off your circulation but still tight.
"You made it on, I am proud of you," she says as she removes her hand from your lap and sits back to look at you.
The captain tells the flight attendants to take then seats for take off and your eyes shut. You grip the armrests and try to control your breathing. Your nails are digging into the leather of the seat when you feel a force trying to get you to release it.
Caitlin takes your hand in hers and you bring to grip the life out of it.
"Dang, you might break my hand," Caitlin jokes. She tries to get you out of your head but it doesn't work.
"Should have just let me gripped the armrest," you say. Your eyes are still tightly shut but you can feel Caitlin sigh.
Caitlin begins to use her free hand to rub up and down your forearm, hoping it will calm your nerves. You would do that for her whenever she was nervous and it always worked.
You finally begin to ease on Caitlin's hand but then the plane begins to speed up. Your grip tightens again as you mutter affirmations to yourself. You feel Caitlin's fingers run along your forearm and you have to tell yourself to not break her hand which takes your mind off the fact that you are about to go 10000 feet up in the air.
Once the plane comes to consistent speed and altitude, people start moving around. Your hand stays firmly planted in Caitlin's, not that it bothers her at all.
The thing is, yes, you and Caitlin have been friends for a decade at this point and Caitlin would be lying if she said that she wasn't in love with you. She would be lying if she were to say she hadn't been in love with you for the past 10 years but that didn't matter because she has never had the courage to say anything. She has been there with you through so many things that your friendship became more valuable than her feelings.
"C?" You ask, pulling Caitlin out from her thoughts.
"Hmmm," she hums as she looks at you.
"I need to pee," you say and Caitlin can see you are scared to get up.
She unbuckles her seatbelt, her hand never leaving yours as she does. She looks at you waiting for you to undo yours and you do extremely slowly. Caitlin stands and guides you to the restroom.
"You are going to have to let go of my hand," Cait says with a small smile. You nod but don't let it go immediately. You stand in the doorway as you take several deep breaths before finally releasing her hand.
"I will be right here," she says as you close the door. You are back out in record time and slam the door open causing Caitlin to laugh. Your hands were still wet and there was a slight panic on your face.
Caitlin laughs at you and you shoot her a glare. The two of you head back to your seats and you let Caitlin do your seatbelt again.
"Want to watch a movie?" Caitlin asks and you nod. She puts on a movie and you lean your head on her shoulder. She sighs and offers her hand for you to hold. You take it but instead of intertwining your fingers with hers, you take her hand in both of yours and begin to play with her fingers.
Caitlin can feel her heart flutter and butterflies soar in her stomach. She was wrapped completely around your finger and you had absolutely no idea.
A ding sounds in the cabin and the captain tells the cabin that they would be experiencing some turbulence and asks the flight attendants to sit down again.
Your heart rate picks up.
You try to keep your focus on the movie but it seems to be a challenge as the plane begins to shake. You sit straight up and and your hands grip the arm rests. Caitlin tries to pry your hand off the armrest again but you don't budge this time.
The turbulence picks up and the bumps and drops grow. Caitlin can tell you are in a full blown panic and she feels helpless. It is when the turbulence gets really bad that she realizes you might have a heart attack.
At this point, it is the worst turbulence that Caitlin has been in. There are others in the plane who are screaming when a drop comes and you can all hear the luggage move around.
"We are going to die," you say on repeat and Caitlin is saying your name, trying to get you out of your own mind. You don't hear her.
"We are going to die. We are going to die. We are going to die," you say.
Before you know it, you feel yourself being pulled out of your chant to Caitlin's hands on your face. You don't have enough time to think before you feel Caitlin's lips on yours.
The second you feel her lips, you relax into her. Your hands release the armrests as they come up to hold your wrists. Her lips move slowly against yours and you feel her smile into you. You move your lips and realize how perfectly the two of you move together. It is the first time since leaving the house that morning that you have felt peace.
She begins to part from you and you immediately pull her back in. The two of you get lost in each other that you don't realize the turbulence calm until the captain comes back onto the speaker letting everyone know they would be landing soon.
You finally let Caitlin part from you and her cheeks are flushed, lips swollen.
The two of you just look at each other and smile. Caitlin dips her head and hides it in your shoulder.
"You should have just done that from the start," you joke.
She groans into you. There are so many thoughts going through Caitlin's head she as she has just revealed the one secret she had been keeping from you for so long. It doesn't help that if you didn't feel the same way the two of you were stuck together for the next week as you are rooming together in Cancun.
Meanwhile, there is one thought going through your head and you make it know.
"About damn time," you say and Caitlin's head shoots up to look at you.
Her eyes meet yours and you smile at her. She squints at you.
"What do you mean, 'about damn time'?" Caitlin asks.
"Caitlin, I have known you for too long," you say and Caitlin starts to piece it together. "I know your are in love with me."
Caitlin looks at you with wide eyes as she feels a blush wash over her face. She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. There have only been a few times when you left Caitlin speechless.
"Caitlin, have you ever slowed down to think about if the feelings were reciprocated?" You ask with a little laugh. "Think back."
Caitlin sits there, thinking back on all the years of your friendship. You hand comes to play with one of hers again.
"High school graduation, we were invited to Maggie's graduation bash which was going to be the biggest party of the year but your parents made you stay home to hang out with family - who stayed with you?" You ask.
"Well you were by best friend," Caitlin says remembering the night. You laugh as Caitlin's eyebrows began to furrow.
"Ever wonder why in college I wouldn't go on more than 2 dates with someone?" You ask. You would go on a max of two dates before realizing they weren't Caitlin.
Caitlin remembers waiting up for you to come back and tell her all about the dates, waiting for you to say why you weren't interested in them. She would hold her breath until you would tell her it wasn't going to work out with whoever it was.
Caitlin smiles.
"Or what about when I helped you when you were dying of food poisoning and..." you begin but Caitlin stops you not wanting to relive that ungodly time.
"Okay okay, you don't need to bring that up," Caitlin says meeting your gaze.
"Not only have I known, but I have reciprocated your feelings for quite awhile now," you say.
"Why haven't you said anything?" She asks.
"I didn't want to rush you," you say shyly.
"Rush me? It's been ten years," Cait practically yells.
You laugh at her being too distracted in the conversation to realize the plane was landing. You only realize when the wheels of the plane hit the ground and you look out to see you were back on solid ground.
"So what does this mean?" Caitlin asks.
"Nothing," you say and Caitlin is confused.
"Nothing?" She says immediately feeling defeated.
"Well nothing since you haven't asked me out yet," you say and Caitlin's defeat is immediately washed away.
"So that is all I have to do? Is ask you out?" Cait asks. You shrug.
"Okay, will you go out with me?" Caitlin asks.
"No," you say as you stand to de-board the plane.
"No? You just said all I have to do is ask," Cait says as the two of you walk off.
"That was lame C, if I were to ask you like that would you have said yes?" You ask.
"Yes! I would have said yes because I have been waiting for this for so long," she says in shock. You laugh.
"It's not funny," she says with a little pout.
You look around and see a hallway, you grab her hand pull her to it. Once you are out of public eye, you capture her between you and the wall and she looks at you in surprise.
"See if I were to ask you, I would ask you like this," you say. Your hand comes to cup her face.
"Caitlin Elizabeth Clark," you say, swiping your thumb across her cheek. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Caitlin melts. She is a puddle in front of you. She has been dreaming of this moment for as long as she can remember.
You look at her expecting an answer. Caitlin clears her throat.
"Yes, Absolutely yes," she says with a smile.
"Too bad that was only an example," you say stepping away from her, leaving her speechless yet again.
Before you can get too from her, she grabs your hand pulling you back, now capturing you between her and the wall. You are now the speechless one.
"See if we were in high school or even college, I would ask like you just did. But since we are adults now, this is how it is going to go," Caitlin says looking in your eyes. You can't look away from her eyes.
"You are mine, end of story," Caitlin says as your eyebrow quirks. "You are mine and I am yours and I will be taking you out on our official first date while we are here in Cancun."
Caitlin has a sense of pride that creeps onto her face. You love confident Caitlin.
"Okay Clark, deal," you say and she rolls her eyes.
"You know I hate it when you call me that," she says and you laugh. The two of you leave the hallway hand in hand.
"I don't get why, everyone else calls you that," you say.
"You aren't everyone else," Caitlin mutters.
"Okay C, I won't call you Clark anymore," you say.
The two of you walk hand in hand out of the airport. When you get to the airbnb that everyone was staying at everyone can instantly see a change in the two of you. Caitlin takes your hand in hers and it causes a whole commotion.
"Aliyah you owe me $20!" Nalyssa yells running to find Aliyah.
Both you and Caitlin look after her confused. Katie Lou comes up.
"Nalyssa bet Aliyah that Caitlin getting you on the plane here would reveal her feelings for you," Katie Lou says and Caitlin blushes.
"You guys bet on us?" You say. "On if we would would hook up?"
"Not hook up, but finally admit feelings," Lexie says.
Lexie hands Katie Lou a $10 bill. and you raise your eyebrow at them.
"I thought it would happen on the trip but Katie Lou thought it would happen on the plane ride since you were so scared of flying." Lexie says.
"You are all unbelievable," Caitlin says hiding her face in your shoulder.
"That's cute" you said. "Should have brought me in on the action."
Caitlin's head shoots up as she slaps your shoulder.
"I can't believe you," she says to you.
The three of you laugh at Caitlin but you pull her in for a hug.
"I'm just messing with you," you say. "Let's go see out room."
Caitlin nods as she begins dragging you in a direction away from Lexie and Katie Lou. You wave to Caitlin's teammates as Caitlin is eager to have all of your attention back on her.
AN: I would really like to play with Caitlin's hands - as innocently as possible. Let me know what you think about this one! And as always, thank you for your love and support
#caitlin clark#caitlin clark concepts#caitlin clark imagine#caitlin clark masterlist#caitlin clark x reader
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sleepwalking ● 14 | jjk
pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.
genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers
warnings: explicit language, risky motorcycle ride? (idk nothing bad happens but always wear helmets, friends), some fun flirting & jokes, but mostly ANGST AND PAIN (including explicit descriptions of very intense anxiety at the very end)
words: 12.3k
read from the beginning ○ masterlist
chapter 14 ► this isn't over 'til we talk in the light, said i was sober, but you knew that i lied
In the lounge area outside the changing rooms of “013” in Tilburg, Jungkook was engaged in a very intense game of table tennis against Seokjin—and winning, even though Seokjin would have disagreed—when you entered to inform the band that they were going on stage in twenty minutes.
The game wrapped up as the members began to stretch while simultaneously accosting Jimin about their in-ears. There were never any serious issues – Jimin made sure he was the Sound Technician of the Year – but they enjoyed seeing him panic when everyone started moaning, “could you turn the backtrack up a bit?” or “I literally can’t hear myself.” This last one was Taehyung’s favourite, until Jimin started retorting with, “well, maybe you’re deaf,” and then continuing with his day.
The pre-show ritual was always chaotic, but it was endearing chaos, full of nervous laughter and sparkling eyes as the members of Rated Riot prepared for their performance.
Then, just as Jungkook left the dressing room, putting his own in-ears back in, he turned the corner and almost collided with Sid, who looked more than pleased when Jungkook took a surprised step back.
What an absolute eye-sore, Jungkook thought. As the tour went on, he began to understand your aversion to his friends better.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, and it sounded like he wasn’t just asking about Sid being in this room. He was questioning Sid’s constant presence on this tour. Surely, with Jungkook no longer participating in his little games, he had to get bored and go back home.
The past few weeks have taught Jungkook that some friendships had an expiration date, and sometimes stupid bets accelerated that process. He was okay with that now—he realised that holding onto Sid would be much worse than being left alone.
“Just came to wish you luck before the show,” said Sid, who had never genuinely wished anyone luck before. “We’re here if you want to talk.”
Jungkook frowned and glanced at Minjun—who stood further away from the rest of their friends, and rolled his eyes—then he looked back at Sid.
“I’m good,” he said slowly and cautiously as if Sid was a snake that attacked when it sensed defiance.
Just when Jungkook thought he was safe and tried to walk away, Sid’s saccharine voice—the venomous kind—called out, “don’t forget we’re going out racing tonight!”
Jungkook stopped and turned to him again. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Don’t be like that,” Sid taunted. “This could be your chance to practise riding a rental since it seems like you’re going to lose your bike in five—”
“You really don’t have anything better to do, do you?” Jungkook interrupted. Maybe it was the pre-show adrenaline or maybe he had finally grown tired of Sid’s bullshit, but he added, “I feel sorry for you.”
Sneering because people felt many things for him – mostly contempt – but pity wasn’t one of them, Sid leaned in closer. It was a tactic that Jungkook had already grown immune to, but Sid was a creature of habit.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he hissed, not bothered by the emptiness in Jungkook’s stare. “See you later.”
“You won’t,” Jungkook asserted. “I’m not going out with you. This is all over, including the bet.”
Sid raised his eyebrows. With a very specific sense of justice that no one else in this hallway—or in this world—possessed, he declared, “I get the Katana, then.”
There was something questioning about his tone, however. As if he needed Jungkook’s confirmation that he did indeed lose this bet to Sid.
But Jungkook was firm: “You don’t.”
Sid threw his head back and scoffed with an exasperation that could have put a two-year-old to shame. “Well, then neither do you!”
“That’s fine,” Jungkook said. “Minjun can keep it.”
As Sid huffed and growled in frustration, Jungkook looked at his friend again. Minjun seemed about ready to interject—he was the one person here who did not want the bike and, in fact, wished it did not exist at all—but Sid finally found his words.
“You think Minjun can—the bike is mine,” he insisted. “I won—”
“Sid, you don’t give two shits about the fucking bike,” Jungkook cut him off, very tired of the repetitive argument. “Get over it.”
The conversation with Taehyung at Hoseok’s party weighed heavily on Jungkook’s mind. He knew he had bigger things to worry about right now—forget losing the bike. He might lose you.
In his usual dignified manner—so, not dignified at all—Sid rolled his eyes and snarled, “I agreed to bet on it, didn’t I? Obviously, I do give a shit.”
“No,” Jungkook said. “You give a shit about winning. But it’s over. We’re not doing this anymore. Deal with it.”
There was a redness on Sid’s face that hadn’t been there before. A week ago, Jungkook would have been excited to see it—it would have certainly meant a point in his favour. Now, he didn’t want to see Sid’s face at all.
“It’s not over,” Sid argued, persistent like a fly that keeps hitting the glass of a window. “There’s still five days left.”
“Five days until what?”
Four heads whipped around to see you standing at the end of the hallway, confused by the snippet of conversation that you’d overheard. You had returned to find Jungkook because the rest of the band was already pacing – or, in Hoseok’s case, doing restless sit-ups – by the side of the stage.
Jungkook, Sid, Jude, and Minjun stared at you with eyes so bright and wide that they could have guided ships off the coast.
You’ve never met four boys who looked more stunned to see you. It was as if you had accidentally stumbled into the latest concert of the Masculine Ritual, Absolutely No Femininity Allowed, God Forbid Someone Who Identifies as Female Enters The Room tour, and they could not believe this was happening.
“Uh,” Jungkook was the first to react as he immediately approached you. “I’ll tell you later. They’re just excited about, uh, London.”
You did the mental calculations while Jungkook gently squeezed your shoulder to turn you around and steer you away from his friends and towards the stage.
The London show really was more or less in five days, so you decided not to question that part. But the quick pace at which Jungkook was pulling you away from the others still unsettled you.
As you turned a corner, you looked back and saw Sid frowning at you, while Minjun—as usual lately—looked like he regretted being born, and Jude—as usual always—was picking his fingernails.
“Is Sid in one of his chaotic moods again?” you asked as you walked—nearly ran, actually, with the way Jungkook was pulling you. “Should I be concerned?”
“No, no. Everything’s fine,” he assured with a dismissive wave of his hand. “He’s just… doing Sid things. You know. Nothing to worry about as long as—well, as long as you don’t get in his way. I have everything under control.”
Your primary goal on this tour was to stay out of Sid’s way as long as he stayed out of yours. But now was not the time to discuss it, because Rated Riot had three minutes until their performance.
“Alright, then,” you said. “Leave me out of it and we’re good.”
Jungkook coughed in response and stopped once you reached the other members of the band. You thought you saw Taehyung raise his eyebrows when Jungkook took his hand off your shoulders, but maybe you were just imagining it.
You turned to the rest of the band, all of whom looked pale and fidgety and unsure.
The speakers had malfunctioned during the soundcheck earlier, so Jimin and Seokjin had to cut it short to fix the problem. Naturally, the disruption of their usual routine made the band anxious. The table tennis match between Seokjin and Jungkook—arguably the most unhinged members of the team when it came to games—had distracted everyone, but now they returned to the unpleasant arms of anxiety.
“Come on,” you said, trying to sound more energetic than you were feeling. “Stop looking like you’re going to get hanged. You’ll do fantastic out there. Go and have fun. And don’t bother coming backstage until you’re drenched and the crowd won’t stop changing your names. I mean it.”
Finally, a small smile appeared on Yoongi’s face as he rolled up one of his pant legs—for no reason other than he thought it looked cool. Honestly, it worked for him.
“Why did that last part sound like a threat?” he quipped, standing up straight.
“Because it is,” you replied. When you turned to Jungkook, he had his eyebrows furrowed as if he was still worried about something, but he started to smile as soon as he felt your gaze. You added, “I’ll be out there watching you. Kick some ass.”
You high-fived all four of them and pulled back as the boys erupted battle cries and huddled together before taking the stage.
They were still nervous, but they had you and each other, and there was a room full of people excited to see them perform. This was supposed to be just another day at the office.
Smiling, you headed back to your usual spot by the stage where Luna was chatting with a few girls at the barricade, and Maggie was snapping pictures of the audience nearby.
It occurred to you while standing there, that you were thousands of kilometres away from your house, away from everything familiar. But with Rated Riot on stage, and Luna and Maggie by your side, you felt right at home.
There was nothing you wished more than to stay like this forever.
It was an unwritten law that touring with a rock band was fun, but quickly turned very hectic. Insomnia often became an unwelcome friend—especially for the members of the band who had fashionable bags under their eyes almost every day. But when they were on stage or meeting their fans after the show, they looked alive. They looked happy.
And the more drinks they had after the concert, the more that happiness seemed to grow.
“You know what I think?” Yoongi said on the couch in the dressing room where everyone had gathered after the show. He was tipsy as he swung the green Heineken bottle around, nearly splashing you and Namjoon as you sat on either side of him. “I think next time we’re in Europe, we’ll be performing at Wembley. Stade de France. The fucking Coliseum.”
“And Camp Nou?” you teased.
Yoongi and Namjoon—both avid Barcelona fans—nodded in eager agreement.
“And not as guests at festivals, either,” Yoongi continued. “Headliners.”
You smiled. “I can see that.”
“Yeah?” Yoongi’s own smile widened. “When we announced our tour, Kerrang! called us ‘The Next Reconnaissance’ on their Instagram.”
You felt an uncomfortable twinge in your stomach at the mention of the other band and turned away from the two boys. You remembered the alternative culture magazine running rampant with the moniker—always “The Next Reconnaissance,” never just Rated Riot.
“I… don’t think you’re the next anything,” you said. “I think you’re you. And being Rated Riot is already amazing.”
Yoongi needed a moment to process your words. For some reason, he had expected you to agree with the nickname. Part of him wanted to be “the next Reconnaissance,” considering how much they had achieved. But you were right.
“I like that,” he said. “That’s good. Yes. We’re Rated Riot. We’ll get Wembley. And Camp Nou.”
“I second that,” Namjoon said, pointing his beer bottle at the other boy. “But, oh, we saw Reconnaissance at Rose Bowl last year, remember? Might be the best concert I’ve ever been to. I know they were in town again before we left for Europe, but I didn’t get to go. It was at a smaller venue anyway, I think. Rose Bowl, though... Stadium shows are something else.”
You raised an eyebrow as you looked at Namjoon over Yoongi’s head. The producer didn’t normally say this much in one breath. He was clearly getting drunk.
Yoongi, on the other hand, didn’t notice anything wrong. He was likely equally as buzzed. He hummed as he threw his head back and took a large swig of his beer. Then he turned to face you.
“We’ve never opened for a band their size before,” he said. “Do you think we even could? I mean, they’re not The Rolling Stones, but they’re… well…”
He let the sentence falter because he couldn’t find a fitting word, but both you and Namjoon understood.
“Uh, well, who says you can never work with them in the future? I know their manager,” you said, trying to sound uplifting, but quickly catching yourself. You could have made your point without mentioning this. But because the two boys suddenly looked at you as if you’d just said you were Kurt Cobain in your past life, you had to explain, “he’s, uh—he’s Nick Zhou. I worked under him after university.”
“No shit?” Yoongi raised his eyebrows even higher. “Are you still in touch?”
“Not really,” you mumbled, finding yourself in a tough spot. Avoiding the subject now, when you were the one who mentioned Nick, would essentially mean lying to them. You didn’t want to do that. Awkwardly, you admitted, “although, he did, um—he called me a few days ago. Back in Oslo.”
“What?” Namjoon leaned forward to look at you over Yoongi, who stopped drinking his beer, distracted by the conversation. “Why didn’t you say anything? What did he want?”
Suddenly, you regretted finishing your beer before you joined them on the couch.
“Well, see, that’s the thing. He, uh—he wasn’t calling about the band. Or, well, he was, but it wasn’t—okay.” You closed your eyes and took a breath. This was a very long detour to get to the most important sentence. “He said he’s looking for an assistant manager.”
The two boys next to you exchanged a look.
“And… he wants you?” Namjoon asked.
“Yeah,” you said. “But only because he needs someone quickly and he’s already worked with me before, so—”
“Well, fuck,” Yoongi concluded, cutting off your humble explanation, while Namjoon offered an equally insightful, “wow, shit.”
You nodded – both observations accurate – and quickly added, “I didn’t—I’m not going to do it, though.”
“No?” Yoongi asked. “Why not?”
The hint of surprise in his voice made you uncomfortable. It sounded like the reasonable decision would have been to accept Nick’s offer and leave Rated Riot to work with this much bigger, much more intimidating band.
“I-I guess I don’t want to be anyone’s assistant anymore,” you stammered. “I like running the ship myself.”
The guitarist’s expression softened. But before he could speak, Namjoon slapped his palm on his thigh and cheered so uncharacteristically loudly that you and Yoongi both pulled back from him in surprise.
“I know that’s fucking right!” Namjoon cried out. “Steer us all right and Rated Riot will surpass them. You’ll be calling that guy to get him to be your assistant.”
You laughed at the unexpected proposition, and Yoongi gave your knee a friendly pat.
“We won’t let you down,” he said, much more collected than the boy next to him. “You know?”
“I know.” You were smiling with all the warmth in your chest. “I believe you, that’s why I don’t want to leave. But, uh—would you mind not telling anyone else about this? I don’t want it to, you know, blow out of proportion. It wasn’t even an official offer, really, he just mentioned that there was an opening. But I just… I thought it would be unfair if I didn’t eventually tell any of you.”
Yoongi nodded knowingly. Rated Riot didn’t have a designated leader, since Namjoon—as their main producer—and Seokjin—as their stage manager—called most of the shots, but as the oldest member of the band, Yoongi was typically the one to talk to you about the heavier topics.
“It’s cool,” he said. “As long as you’re staying with us, no one else really needs to know about this, right?”
What he’d just said—paired with the way he looked at you for a few seconds longer than necessary—seemed to imply something else. Your eyes automatically drifted to Jungkook, who was talking to Seokjin and Jimin on the other side of the room.
You lowered your eyes. “Yeah.”
Yoongi finished his beer in one swift gulp and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Then, he looked at you again.
“Thanks for that, by the way,” he said.
You met his gaze. “For what?”
“For believing in us enough to stay.”
Namjoon felt himself smile as he quietly finished his beer. He knew he was tipsy, but he wasn’t drunk enough to interrupt the moment between you two.
“You don’t have to thank me for that,” you said. “Just keep doing what you’re doing.” Here, you turned to Namjoon. “Right?”
Looking at you in surprise after you addressed him, the producer scrambled to nod.
“Oh, hell yeah!” he said, leaning forward to reach Yoongi’s completely empty bottle with his own. “Here’s to Wembley next year.”
You smiled as the older boy clinked his empty bottle against Namjoon’s, then tipped his head back to get the last stubborn drops.
“Oh, by the way,” Yoongi spoke as he swallowed and immediately coughed. “D-did you find out what was going on with Jungkook and his lyrics?”
It took you a minute to recall your last conversation with Yoongi—the one that had led you to Jungkook, where he had dodged your questions and later snuck into your bunk on the tour bus and kissed you.
“Uh, well.” You tugged at the sleeve of your leather jacket. “He said that the song he played you was just a demo. He’s still working on the melody. And he said that he just has someone who reviews his lyrics for him, nothing more.”
Yoongi nodded to the rhythm of an unusually slow Asking Alexandria song that played from the speakers of the dressing room.
“So, we shouldn’t worry?” he asked, clearly hopeful.
“Apparently, no,” you said with an uneasy smile.
“Alright,” he decided. “Then let’s not worry.”
He looked at Namjoon who nodded in support of this decision.
And so, not worrying was exactly what they did. Instead, Namjoon brought three more bottles of Heineken and you all decided to just feel happy tonight.
As you scanned the room with a new bottle in your hand—while the boys finished their beer in under a minute and Namjoon got up again to bring more—it seemed to you that everyone had made the exact same decision.
Except Taehyung for some reason.
For a good minute, you watched him walk in circles in the very centre of the room. Then, just when you thought he’d stopped, he started another lap around the carpet.
“Excuse me for a minute,” you said to the two boys on the couch—they both nodded—and stood up.
A brief, unexpected fight broke out over the bottle of beer that you’d handed them—Namjoon won—and you hesitated for a moment as you realised you had a new problem and weighed it against the previous one.
The new problem was that Yoongi and Namjoon were getting very drunk. It was almost ridiculous, but probably harmless. Taehyung, on the other hand, seemed to be waiting to perform at four more gigs as soon as he left this room. You had to go to him first.
He had noticed the commotion by the couch, but he did not acknowledge your approach.
“Is everything okay?” You had to stop right in front of him to ask as he continued his frenzied pacing. “You’re kind of walking in circles here.”
Taehyung stopped as if in a daze and looked at you. “Hm? Ah. Lots on my mind, I guess.”
You nodded slowly. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“Uh…” He looked around. The movement seemed thoughtful, but without a clear purpose—it seemed like he was just avoiding your eyes. Then you saw his gaze land on Jungkook. Taehyung looked at him for a moment, then turned back to you and scratched the back of his neck in a telltale sign of universal discomfort. He said, “honestly, maybe it’s not me that you should be talking to.”
You glanced at Jungkook, too—he was explaining something to Jimin with very wild hand gestures. He still appeared to be on a high from the concert.
“You mean Jungkook?” you asked, shifting your attention back to Taehyung. “Is he the reason why you’re pacing?”
“Sort of,” the bassist replied, blinking at the carpet.
You didn’t like the trepidation in your stomach. And you definitely didn’t like the unexpected memory of the alarm that you had seen on Jungkook’s face in your hotel room in Amsterdam.
“Why?” you asked because, despite the ominous dread that you were feeling, it was still your responsibility to know what was going on with the band.
“Just talk to him,” Taehyung advised. “But don’t tell him I said so.”
You hesitated, wanting a bit more information before you dived off this cliff headfirst. You asked, “at least tell me if something happened, so I can be prepared.”
He glanced at Jungkook again. This time, the younger member seemed to sense his gaze as he turned around. Taehyung looked away immediately.
He muttered quickly, “ask about his friends,” and then retreated to the very back of the room until he was fully concealed by Hoseok and Maggie.
A reluctant “oh,” passed your lips, but knowing that Jungkook’s friends were involved meant that there was nothing else that Taehyung could have said to you anyway.
You had to go straight to the source.
You couldn’t say this surprised you. You already got an odd feeling when you walked in on Sid and his Asshole Alliance before the concert tonight, but Jungkook had assured you that everything was fine.
However, if this was something that made Taehyung stomp around the room—which never happened unless the situation was extremely stressful, like the time Luna was getting surgery and he almost rubbed off the soles of his shoes, walking back and forth in the waiting room of the clinic—then it most certainly wasn’t fine.
Your original plan was to wait until everyone was back on the tour bus, since you’d be spending the night in Tilburg anyway. But then you remembered all the times you’d asked Jungkook if everything was okay—and all the times he said it was—and you decided that waiting would not cut it this time.
“Hey,” you said right in the middle of his conversation with Jimin. You added an apologetic, “could you excuse us, please?” but Jimin could tell as soon as he looked at you that he’d better leave.
As quickly as it was humanly possible, he nodded and jogged to join Yoongi and Namjoon by the door of the room. The two of them were loudly discussing their plan to go out and find a bar, but they paused after noticing Jimin.
You watched them for a moment, wondering if you should have stopped them from leaving when they were already so drunk, but they noticed you, waved, and left before you could open your mouth.
Sighing, you turned to Jungkook just as he asked, “what’s up?”
He didn’t appear unusual when you looked at him. But he rarely ever did.
“Are you okay?” you asked in return.
You were both tired of the question, but Jungkook disliked the sound of it particularly much this time. He’d seen you—out of the corner of his eye—take six steps in his direction right after you finished talking to Taehyung.
What if he’d told you?
“Uh, of course,” Jungkook said, looking at you with just as much confusion—and a sprinkle of suspicion—as you were looking at him with. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know,” you said. Your heart rate increased as if you’d already heard the bad news you were expecting to hear. “How are, um—how’s Sid and everyone else?”
Jungkook disliked this question even more.
“Oh,” he said in a relaxed tone that sounded forced even to him. He cleared his throat and scanned the room for the older member, but didn’t find him. Even more nervous now, he turned to you and tried again. “You mean Sid and the others? They—they’re okay. Sid’s just being annoying, but what else is new? But I’m—we’re all okay. Thanks for, uh, for checking in.”
“Of course,” you said. You waited for him to elaborate so you could discover the reason for Taehyung’s anxiety which resulted in two more members of the band that you needed to worry about.
Honestly, Hoseok was the only one who wasn’t playing with your nerves tonight. You saw him peacefully tapping his foot to the music in the room as he chatted with Maggie and a few other staff members.
Jungkook did not pursue the topic further.
“What did you talk about with, uh—with Taehyung?” he asked instead with all the subtlety of a frightened elephant in a porcelain shop.
“Oh, this and that,” you lied. Then, feeling uncomfortable about lying, you scattered a bit of truth in there, “Luna’s face-timing her mum on the bus, so he was—he’s bored.”
“Ah.” Jungkook nodded. “Makes sense.”
He didn’t think—or didn’t want to think—that Taehyung would tell you about the bet after he asked him not to.
And, really, he tried to be reasonable. If Taehyung had told you, would you be here, peacefully asking him if he was okay?
No. You’d use fists, he presumed. Possibly knees.
“So, there’s nothing you want to tell me?” you asked suddenly, interrupting his masochistic fantasy.
Jungkook swallowed. Whatever it was that you talked about with Taehyung, it was clearly neither this, nor that.
“There is, uh, one thing,” he admitted slowly.
You inhaled. “What is it?”
“What are you plans for the rest of the night?”
This was not what you had braced yourself for. Annoyed by his stalling, you pulled your phone out of your back pocket.
“Well, depending on what you tell me, either I’m arguing with you or going to sleep,” you said. Glancing at the phone in your hand, you added, “it’s two in the morning.”
“We have tomorrow off,” he reminded you. “Well, today, I guess.”
“I know, but we’re going to Cologne—”
“That’s only in the evening.”
“Okay.” You looked around to see if anyone was close enough to hear the two of you. Not that you were doing anything forbidden—just merely bordering on it. “What are you getting at?”
“You’ve finished all your work for the night, right?” he asked and you nodded apprehensively. He said, “come do something with me.”
Once again, the dilemma that plagued your mind whenever you were with him returned.
The responsible thing to do here would be to, of course, gently suggest going to sleep. There was a long day of travel ahead of you, after all.
However, this could be your chance to determine if there was truly something alarming happening between him and his friends. Not to mention, he clearly still had something to tell you, despite appearing to have lost courage after the strange moment in your hotel room.
And, alright – the truth was, you wanted to do something with him.
“That’s very vague,” you finally said. “What do you have in mind?”
“Come with me,” Jungkook said, gesturing towards the door of the dressing room.
You agreed to follow him to the door but paused before leaving the room.
“I’d like more information,” you said, leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed over your chest.
You tried to convince yourself that there was no logical reason for the entire room to be watching you and Jungkook right now, but you still felt phantom eyes all over yourself.
This wasn’t Hoseok’s party. You were still at the concert venue where Jungkook was the performer, and you were the manager.
He noticed your unease. First, he sighed. Then, as if he was compromising, he extended his hand.
“Take my hand,” he said. “And come with me.”
“That’s not exactly what I meant—”
“Come on,” he cut in, waving his hand in front of you. “Less talking, more holding my hand.”
Because your back obstructed the view of his outstretched hand for everyone else in the room, you knew you didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing this. Still, you let out a slow, anxious breath.
“Fine,” you said with exaggerated irritation to emphasise your displeasure about being kept in the dark. Then you took his hand.
As the two of you exited the room, there were ulterior motives firmly set in both of your minds.
You had to find out what was going on.
He had to tell you what was going on.
And Jungkook had a plan here somewhere. He knew he needed to tell you about the bet tonight, especially since you almost found out about it accidentally right before the show. And also because Taehyung looked about ready to start climbing walls.
He had a rough idea of how he’d like to tell you: it had to happen in a beautiful spot that would make up for the awful revelation he was about to make. If not make up for it, then at least make it worth your while.
And he’d done his research—as always. This was the one lesson from your relationship that he hadn’t learned as he continued to strenuously plan everything in the hopes of making it memorable and unique.
“There’s this spot. The Wandelbos,” he said as the two of you walked hand-in-hand down the corridor of the venue.
He pronounced the word with relative ease, making you wonder how many times he’d heard it. Then he showed pictures on his phone.
“This looks like a forest,” you commented, stopping to scroll through several photographs of squirrels and autumn trees—which wasn’t easy because he refused to let go of your hand as you held his phone.
“It’s a baroque park,” he clarified. “It’s beautiful, supposedly.”
You handed his phone back to him. “I’m sure it is. But not at two in the morning.”
“The path is star-shaped,” he continued, ignoring your interjection as the two of you kept walking. “And there’s a clearing in the middle with a pond and a bridge and—oh, and it’s only about six kilometres away.”
He held the exit door open, allowing you to walk out into the brisk night air.
Crossing the threshold, you looked at him with your eyebrows raised. “You want to walk over there?”
Actually, he did. But your question made him pause. “Uh... no?”
You stopped and waited until he walked out into the parking lot, but his attention was suddenly drawn to something behind you.
You ignored that and said, “well, we can’t rent bicycles at this time and—”
“Sorry—hold on for one second,” he stopped you abruptly.
You turned around and followed his gaze until you spotted Minjun by the restaurant across the street. Your lips parted in involuntary surprise, but it wasn’t Minjun’s presence that really startled you. It was the fact that he was leaning against a motorcycle, of all things, and there were two more bikes parked right next to him.
When you looked back at Jungkook, he looked almost relieved.
How wonderful it was, he thought, that Sid was such an insufferable idiot that he would decide to have a drag race in the middle of the Netherlands.
From across the street, the bike Minjun had rented out appeared to be a Kawasaki. Despite Jungkook’s previous bad experiences with the brand—involving a mild concussion and a dented metal fence, which, in his defence, appeared out of nowhere—this gave him an idea immediately.
“Could we go over there? Or maybe you could wait here for a minute?” he asked you while already walking away—and pulling on your hand until you had to let go because you were absolutely not going over there. He promised, “one minute!”
You could tell right away that he’d just found a potential means of transportation.
“Jungkook, that’s probably not a good idea!” you called out as he neared the street.
“I’ll be right back!” he shouted, forming the shape of a heart with both of his hands as he went.
You cringed as he crossed the street without looking both ways, but fortunately, there weren’t a lot of cars around. Unfortunately, however, you couldn’t hear what he and Minjun talked about due to the distance and the heavy gusts of wind.
You waited alone, with only your confusion for company.
If Jungkook stayed with the band while his friends went out, and now he went over there to borrow some devil-sent motorcycle, then clearly, that had to mean that he finally started to make smart(er) decisions while still being on good terms with his friends.
So, what was it that worried Taehyung so much?
“Dude!” Jungkook exclaimed across the street from you when he finally reached Minjun and scared the hell out of him with his shout—he flinched so vehemently that he nearly knocked the bike over. “Whose is this?”
“Uh—mine. We rented bikes for the race,” Minjun explained and glanced at you standing by the exit of the venue. “Sid was about to call you and force you to come with us—”
“I need it,” Jungkook interrupted, choosing to ignore the fact that there wouldn’t have been enough bikes if he had come along.
Minjun turned to him with raised eyebrows. “Huh?”
“I need to borrow it.”
“Borrow—it’s a rental.” Minjun turned his head to look at the neon green motorcycle. He knew that riding down the city streets with Sid and Jude on rented bikes was already reckless. Subletting the motorcycle to someone else, however, might be equally as stupid. “It’s in my name.”
“It’s the least you can do for me,” Jungkook said right away as if he had planned this in advance instead of only noticing Minjun and the motorcycle a mere two minutes ago.
His words weren’t entirely true, considering that Minjun wasn’t the one who had manipulated him into this mess. But Jungkook was appealing to his conscience—and that thing was eating Minjun alive. You could see it from across the street, even without knowing the reason for it.
Minjun bit his lip, fighting a very unpleasant battle with his own self.
“Okay. Fine,” he conceded, even though he knew very well what Sid would say about his impartiality and about the fact that he’d now have to ride as someone’s passenger—likely Jude’s, because Sid would rather cut his own head off than allow someone else on his bike, even if it was a rental. Hurriedly, Minjun added, “you have to return the bike back by midday tomorrow.”
“Perfect,” Jungkook replied brightly. “That’s more than enough time.”
“I’ll text you the address of the rental place,” Minjun continued, getting his phone out.
Jungkook kept on nodding. “That’s great. You do that.”
His friend typed a text message and pulled out the keys to the bike from his jacket pocket. He tossed them to Jungkook just as his phone vibrated.
“Don’t wreck it,” Minjun warned. “Or yourself.”
Jungkook grinned, swinging his right leg over the motorcycle and putting the key in the ignition. “I won’t. Thanks again!”
His friend glanced back at the restaurant, suddenly grateful that the take-out was taking so long to prepare. This meant that Sid and Jude wouldn’t notice Minjun giving the bike away—even though they would notice it gone and would probably realise where it went.
Meanwhile, Jungkook revved the engine and turned towards the parking lot of the venue.
The Kawasaki felt unusual underneath him and it made him miss his Katana, but he swallowed the disconcert. Beggars couldn’t be choosers—this was better than nothing in any case.
He stopped right in front of you in the parking lot, switched the engine off, and leaned back from the handlebar to give you a smile.
“So?” He patted the side of the bike. “Ready for a ride?”
You shook your head, disapproving of the cheesy grin on his face, and sunk your teeth into your tongue to resist a smile.
There were numerous—numerous—reasons why you weren’t ready to climb on this bright green monstrosity that must have been visible from any space station above. If not visible, then certainly audible.
“There’s only one helmet,” was the one concern that you chose to voice.
Jungkook hadn’t considered that as he glanced at the helmet, attached to the tail of the bike. He leaned over to unhook it and offered it to you.
“No,” you said before he started to speak. “If anything, you should be the one wearing it. You’re the driver. And the vocalist of a band that’s literally on tour right now. You can’t perform if you get your head snapped off.”
“Can’t perform if I get yours snapped off, either,” he argued. “Put it on. I’ll go slow.”
This was still a safety hazard, and at first, you debated arguing. Then you tried to rationalise.
Jungkook hadn’t had any alcohol after the show—which was very unusual, now that you thought about it. He must have been planning something all along.
Additionally, the streets were mostly empty, except for one car whose driver gaped suspiciously at the many motorcycles on the street, narrowing his eyes at each and every one of them as he drove past.
There was also Minjun across the street, looking as though he was praying that you and Jungkook would drive off quickly.
“Come on,” Jungkook encouraged. You understood his impatience—if Minjun was here, the rest of the Insolent Idiots couldn’t be far behind.
You looked back at the helmet in his hands.
This wouldn’t be the first time you’d gotten on a motorcycle with Jungkook, but it had been a while.
He had always been a huge fan of anything that could reach over a hundred in under five seconds, so he’d been riding bikes since before he was legally allowed to. However, the two of you had already broken up when he purchased and restored the Katana that he never stopped talking about—so you’d never ridden with him when he actually owned the vehicle.
It occurred to you suddenly that Jungkook had probably never mentioned his motorcycle since the tour started. You made a mental note to ask him about that later.
Now, you finally took the helmet from him and pushed it over your head. Maybe the most important justification for your decision was this: you’d missed the excited twirling of your heart when he took you for a ride.
The joy that Jungkook felt as he watched you put the helmet on surprised him.
He remembered the first time you struggled to fasten the straps under your chin and managed to graze your skin. Now, listening to you sigh as you squeezed the helmet over your head and tightened the straps without his help, he realised that you hadn’t forgotten. That you were still used to this.
Excited shivers ran across his skin as you climbed on the bike behind him. But he could sense your apprehension—your initial instinct was to hold onto the back of the bike.
“Come on, now. This isn’t your first time,” he said, looking at you over his shoulder. “You know I won’t go unless I know you’re holding on tight.”
“I assure you,” you said. Your voice was muffled by the helmet. “I’m holding on tight.”
He clicked his tongue as he turned to face forward again. “I happen to not believe you.”
“Tough.”
“We’ll be here a while, it seems.” He released the handles and leaned back. “Maybe we should see if Sid wants to join us, I’m sure he would love to—”
“My God!” you groaned. “Fine.”
You wrapped your hands around his waist but kept your touch light, almost nervous. Grinning, Jungkook reached for your hands and pulled them closer to make sure you had a strong hold.
When he squeezed the clutch, he felt you tighten your arms around him even more. Satisfied that he could feel more of your weight against his back, he finally pressed the starter and pulled the bike off.
He raced down the street—much to Minjun’s relief—at a speed that definitely would have been dangerous for someone without a helmet if there had been other cars around. But the road was empty and there were hardly any turns to make.
And as he sped down these empty streets, you had to admit to yourself that this was, simply, thrilling.
The rapid pace seemed to elevate your insides, forcing you to hold onto Jungkook more tightly as you rested your head against his back and watched the streetlights blur together. The deafening sound of the engine, the dark visor of your helmet, the intoxicating speed, the rough metal underneath your thighs, and the soft leather of the jacket that he was wearing—all of it was absolutely exhilarating.
Jungkook knew—he’d always known—that you would have enjoyed the thrill of a late-night ride far more than a simple walk down the Tilburg streets.
And he was excited to see your silly grin and dilated pupils after you took off the helmet outside of the park. He was almost flustered by your glow—and by the fact that he was the reason why you looked so happy and so overwhelmingly full of life.
He nearly forgot to lock the bike as he looked at you.
But then the sudden memory of why he’d brought you here caught up to him like a painful crash.
“Uh, so,” he turned away, “should we go explore?”
“Might as well,” you joked weakly. Your legs were still a little shaky from the ride. “Since we’re already here anyway.”
“Right. Well, I wouldn’t mind taking another drive,” he said with a more confident smirk—that only grew in size and arrogance when he saw you smile at the suggestion. Then, he looked down and added, “but I also wouldn’t mind just walking and… talking.”
The two of you had done a lot of that—just walking and talking—since the tour started, so agreeing to this felt natural and harmless.
The park was beautiful indeed, just as the pictures on Jungkook’s phone had promised. Granted, walking through it at night when the streetlights were so sparse, provided a layer of eerie uncertainty—but even now, you were mesmerised.
In addition to the bold squirrels, peeking at you through the tree branches—their fur barely noticeable among the dark foliage, but their little beady eyes glistening—you could also see the sky above. You could see all of it, it seemed. And the patterns of the stars were so bright that you found yourself stopping several times, utterly captivated by them.
You regretted not learning the names of constellations—or how to differentiate them—but looking at the night sky was a breathtaking experience regardless.
The sky looked different here. And it felt closer, too. It was something you didn’t believe you could ever get used to, no matter how much you stayed here.
After a short while, you and Jungkook arrived at a pond, and he informed you that this was the very centre of the park.
It reminded you of home in an odd way, even though there weren’t many ponds back home—and none of them looked quite as charming as this one. Yet there was something familiar here, something homely. Even at night, in a park that resembled a forest more than a cosy picnic spot, there was something heartwarming here.
You could have been feeling this way, you supposed, because Jungkook was holding your hand as he guided you down a narrow plank over a dark creek. Without him, the eeriness of spending the night in an old park alone would have been much more noticeable. But with him here, it just felt comfortable. As if you both knew that you were destined to be safe from all harm here.
The stream ran deeper into the forest, and there were several benches scattered in the clearing on either side of the creek. The two of you sat down on one of them and listened to the silence of the trees and the gentle flow of the water.
Remembering suddenly, you spoke up—quietly, mindful not to disrupt the peace of all living things around you. “Did you know that my parents actually had their first date by a creek?”
Jungkook turned to you. He was more comfortable being loud, because he didn’t feel like a guest here. With you there, he sort of felt like the night—and everything that it touched—belonged to him.
“That’s a… very specific location,” he commented.
“Yeah.” You snickered. “There were no creeks in our town, dad took mum to the city where he grew up.”
“Oh, that’s actually nice,” he said, a little surprised. He’d never met your dad, but he knew that ‘nice’ wasn’t the adjective that was usually used in the same sentence as his name. “Was the creek special to him?”
“Not really,” you replied, shattering the romantic image that had already formed in his head. “It was the only pretty place that he could think of at the time. At least that’s what my mum thought.”
Careful, because this was a delicate topic and he didn’t want to come off like he was defending your dad, Jungkook asked, “she never found out if there was, maybe, more to it?”
“She never asked,” you said. “Either way, that date didn’t exactly end well. In the long-term, I mean.”
Jungkook looked down at the dark ground beneath his boots. A few blades of grass poked through the dirt on the shore of the creek.
“I know what you mean,” he said slowly. “But can you really say that with such certainty? She has two kids. And you’re both pretty great.”
You smiled at this, and it gave him the courage to smile, too.
“Thanks,” you said. “And yeah. I guess you’re right. Some good did come out of it.”
The two of you were quiet for a minute. It was a comfortable minute, too, but only as long as you managed to keep your mind empty.
You succeeded—the memories of the stories that your mum had told you were slowly fading, overtaken by the calming whispers of the trees around you—but he didn’t.
“I never asked—and I don’t want to intrude now, but, uh,” Jungkook started, “from what you’ve told me before, I assumed that your parents got back together at some point, right?”
You nodded with an exhale from somewhere deeper than just your chest.
“Several points, actually,” you said.
Happy that you seemed willing to share this, he encouraged, “yeah?”
“Yeah. She kept taking him back when I was young, and my brother was—well, a baby, essentially,” you said. “Everyone told her not to do it, not even for the kids. They told her to move on, maybe find someone better. My uncle—mum’s brother—protested against this especially much. He had been against their marriage from the very beginning. But my mum loved the guy.”
The smile on your face when you said that last part made Jungkook tense—it contradicted so much with the sadness in your eyes.
“Did he love her back?” he asked.
You were about to respond with a reflexive answer that had been ingrained in you by years and years of your mother screaming about how your father was a good-for-nothing loser, how he could never love anyone other than himself, and plenty of other colourful descriptions that you probably shouldn’t have known at your age at the time. And yet, despite the intensity of her emotions after every break-up, she still took him back. Until one day she didn’t.
And now you had to pause.
“That’s probably a million-dollar question,” you said with a sad chuckle. “I don’t know. Is that awful of me to say? She doesn’t think he did, but she still got back together with him so many times. So maybe he did love her in his own fucked up way. But I-I don’t think someone who loves you is supposed to hurt you like that.”
Jungkook had leaned back as he listened to you and he nearly toppled over backwards at your words.
You were right, of course.
Someone who loved you should have never hurt you.
He swallowed the lump in his throat before speaking. “That’s, uh—that’s not awful. That’s sad, I think. Your mum deserves better.”
“She does,” you agreed. “But I understand now that—well, in a way, she is who she is because of all that happened to her. She’s very strong and she cares so much. And the fact that her only flaw is loving people too much, it’s—I don’t know. Lately, that just makes me admire her more. Because she sees the best in people. No one does that these days, everyone’s always afraid to get hurt. But my mum, she’s like—she’s fearless. You know? I genuinely respect that.”
“Even if she really does end up getting hurt?” Jungkook asked.
“Yeah. Even then. And maybe that’s the thing,” you said, looking up at the sky again. “I mean, in general. The people we love are the only ones who can hurt us like that. Or, rather, it’s precisely because we love them that it hurts so much.”
“Hmm.”
He wasn’t sure if you were still talking about your parents by the time you reached the last few sentences, but he was too afraid to ask. He couldn’t even look at you as he stayed frozen in the same spot.
“I’m probably not making much sense,” you added with a small, uncertain laugh. “I just meant that it took me a while to understand my mum. Actually, I don’t know if I even fully understand her to this day, but um… I watched her give second chances to people who held the most against her and could hurt her the most. I thought they didn’t deserve it. But she... She knew the risk, she was familiar with heartbreak, and still, she stayed hopeful. For a long time, I resented that. I thought that was a—a weakness. It sounds cruel. But I thought I could never do that.”
You paused again. The memories—of more than just your parents—flashed in your mind a little too quickly for you to collect your thoughts. You looked down to compose yourself and felt Jungkook’s hesitant glance.
Finally, you finished, “all these years of watching the back-and-forth between my parents… It made me think that I could never give someone a second chance.”
Digging into the dirt with the heel of his boot, Jungkook asked, “you, uh… you don’t think so anymore?”
He glanced at you once more and then looked away again, even though you weren’t looking at him. Your gaze was fixed on the creek in front of you.
“I don’t know,” you said after a moment. “I think I’m less decided about it now. I admire my mum for having the courage for it, even though it rarely ever works out. And now I guess I think that it is more of a case-by-case kind of thing. It depends on the person.”
Feeling as if his chest had absorbed the water from the pond and everything inside of him was being flooded, Jungkook didn’t dare to inhale.
Breathlessly, he asked, “what about me?”
“You?” you echoed awkwardly. He gave the smallest of nods in response.
You realised quickly that you hadn’t said this to him in over four years, and it felt terrifying to admit it now with the solemn trees, a hurried creek, and curious squirrels for an audience.
“Well, fuck.” You swallowed. “I mean, I love you. You know?” You chuckled to hide your unease and leaned down to touch the blades of grass growing under the bench. “Too much for my own good, probably.”
Jungkook suddenly forgot how to breathe. He looked up instead, but only caught a glimpse of the stars in the sky before he closed his eyes. The view behind his eyelids felt more special to him than the shimmering sky above—it was all darkness and dim echoes of you saying you loved him.
He couldn’t tell you now. How could he? You loved him.
And a second chance with you was all he’d ever wanted.
When he opened his eyes again, you were watching him. There was a haziness in your eyes—from the starry night, from the motorcycle drive, from the long overdue confession—and a small smile on your lips.
The moment that his eyes drifted to your lips, he felt himself inhale—more than once and he would have floated away—before he leaned in, responding to everything you’d said with a kiss.
He’d tell you about the bet, he would—but not now. Not when he felt your breath hitch as his lips touched yours. Not when you kissed him back, replacing all air in his lungs with your taste.
Right now, neither of you needed to say any other word as the forest around you settled. The leaves were frozen as if the wind didn’t dare to rustle them for fear of interrupting you.
The thought made you smile into the kiss—what a self-centred way to interpret your surroundings—and Jungkook pulled you closer.
For a minute, he made it feel like the world really did stop turning for the two of you. Like the forces of the universe had interfered to—
He pulled away all of a sudden, breathing so heavily that he was nearly hyperventilating.
He couldn’t do this. He’d already done too much.
The time that he’d borrowed—that he’d stolen—to be with you in peace had run out. Not even the universe could give it back to him.
“I’m sorry. There’s just, um,” he began, looking down and bringing a hesitant finger over his lower lip. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
You felt your heart skip over a beat.
Immediately, you found yourself returning to the hotel room in Amsterdam. It felt vastly different now and the difference sobered you up—you had been in your hotel room then, but you were alone in an empty park tonight. And you realised that discussing it here would be a mistake.
Whatever he was about to tell you might make it difficult for you to stay here and you would have no way to leave.
“Wait,” you said. The word caught him off guard. “Tell me when we get back.”
He blinked. The very reason why he’d brought you here was to tell you the truth in a place that was yours for the night.
“W-why?” he asked.
“It’s not fair to me otherwise,” you said. Your heart had shifted from pleasant pounding to near-panicked banging, and you were starting to feel nauseous. “I’d be very inconvenienced if I was left here alone.”
Jungkook appeared even more perplexed. “Why would you be—I’m not leaving. I’m staying with you.”
“That’s assuming I don’t kill you after you tell me what you’re about to tell me,” you tried to joke. There was a small—almost desperate—smirk on the corner of your lips.
Jungkook looked away.
“Oh.” Nervously, he licked his lips. He hadn’t considered you being so uncomfortable after he told you that you wouldn’t want him around. And now that he thought about it, he felt a little dizzy. “Well, that’s, uh… that’s fair enough. Should we—do you want to go back?”
The dread in your stomach seemed to grow at this question.
You knew that you had to be aware of what was happening with him, but the ceremony of it—the trip to this beautiful spot and the kiss that unintentionally coaxed him into the truth—scared you.
You wanted to resist the rational parts of your mind and stay here, where you had just forbidden him from speaking about this.
“Not really,” you admitted.
Jungkook nodded, relieved by your honesty. “Me neither.”
So, you stayed still for another minute. Then another minute. And another one. Until all the additional time you’d given yourselves had run out, too.
You peeked at Jungkook out of the corner of your eye, afraid suddenly that he would look back at you and then you’d have to talk, after all.
He seemed very far away. Much further than that first night in Amsterdam, when he came to your hotel room to talk.
Now there were sirens blaring in his head and a relentless pounding in his chest. You could almost hear it when you looked at him.
At last, you said, “but we can’t stay here forever.”
Despite looking like he had drifted into another realm deep inside of his mind, Jungkook sighed. He’d been listening to you breathe, listening to the way the wind played with your hair. He was here.
But he really wished he wasn’t.
“I know,” he said.
Still, the two of you remained on the bench for another five minutes, surrounded by the quiet rustling of the weary trees. Even they seemed anxious for you.
This might be the last silence the two of you would share, Jungkook thought grimly.
He felt terrified.
Finally, he took a breath and turned to you. “Let’s—”
A faint buzzing from the back pocket of your jeans startled you both. The sound seemed so foreign here, like something that had travelled across time and space, and accidentally ended up here—in your universe, where it didn’t belong.
You pulled out your phone and saw, first of all, that it was four in the morning, and then that Namjoon was calling you.
“I should take this,” you whispered, overwhelmed by the tension that had left your hands very cold.
“Go ahead,” Jungkook mumbled.
This was fine, he tried to tell himself while you stepped away from him to answer the call. He would take you back to the truck stop where the tour buses should have been parked by now. And then he would tell you.
And whatever happened next would—
“So, that was Namjoon,” you said, returning to him with your phone in hand. The call had lasted for less than a minute. “Apparently, someone stole Yoongi’s laptop.”
Nearly thrown off balance at the news that sounded somehow disrespectful, considering the many things you already had to process, Jungkook frowned.
“Someone stole Yoongi’s laptop?” he repeated.
“Yeah,” you said, sliding the phone back into your pocket. You knew something like this would eventually happen. “Namjoon said that he and Yoongi went out for more drinks, and when they got back to the bus, the laptop was gone. They’re not sure when was the last time they saw it.”
Jungkook stood up from the bench. “Well, why do they think someone stole it? Maybe he just lost it.”
“Yoongi’s not the kind who loses things,” you pointed out.
“Well, Namjoon could have lent a hand with that.”
You shook your head to conceal your small, involuntary smile and shrugged, acknowledging that there was a chance that this really was a false alarm. Especially if Namjoon was involved. You all loved him very much, but he had a talent like no one else to consistently misplace his own—and others—belongings.
“They were already quite drunk when I talked to them backstage before leaving,” you said. “So it’s possible they got even more wasted and just lost track of it. Either way, I need to go back and find out what happened.”
You returned to being the band’s manager, and Jungkook wasn’t sure how to handle the sudden switch. He wasn’t sure how to handle anything that was happening. This whole park was spinning around him.
He felt a little bit like the creek behind him as he watched you—flowing somewhere on pure instinct, with no clear destination in sight.
“Yeah. Okay,” he said. Hesitantly, he extended his hand for you to take—to help you over the loose wooden plank again. And to ground himself with your touch. “Let’s go, then. We’ll talk later?”
You took his hand. “Yeah. We’ll talk later.”
The truth was, you did not want to talk later.
You had a terrible feeling about it, and however irresponsible it may have been, you wanted to delay it as much as possible.
When you and Jungkook returned to the truck stop, Yoongi and Namjoon had already figured out where the laptop was. They looked very pleased to have remembered the Locate My Device app, never mind that you were the one who had kindly reminded them about it over the phone.
The laptop was, as it turned out, at a McDonald’s across the city. Neither boy could recall ever going there, so they remained convinced the device had been stolen.
You listened to their hypothesis with a serious face. But, unlike them, you were sober—the few beers you’d had after the concert were long forgotten—and you knew that the “thief” would probably be smart enough not to stop for a McFlurry after stealing someone’s computer.
The logical explanation was that your usually lovable and dependable boys had gotten so drunk that they’d forgotten about the fast food trip and left the laptop there themselves.
Regardless, you had to investigate. Because Yoongi and Namjoon were both pale with terror—and still buzzing from the spontaneous beer-tasting adventure that they’d gone on—it was up to you to find the computer.
You didn’t mind. This was your job, anyway. And you were eager to do something that did not involve talking about whatever it was that Jungkook wanted to talk to you about.
Jungkook, on the other hand, did mind. And it was evident when you exited the bus and saw him standing by the doors, pouting.
“I have to pick up the laptop,” you said, “and maybe report it to the police if it was really stolen.”
“Should I come with you?” he offered, not meaning to give you the option to refuse—which you took, of course.
“No,” you said, “you need to rest.”
“And you don’t?” he countered. “You’re the one who’s so overworked that—”
“Don’t start with that again,” you said, raising a stern hand to cut him off before someone overheard. You caught the flash of surprise in his eyes and the expression on your face softened a little.
You hadn’t meant to sound harsh, but you’ve had an impossibly long day.
“Don't worry about me,” you said. “This is my job. I have things to do. Laptops to save.”
“If I come, then—”
“Stay here,” you interrupted. “You had a show tonight. Now you have to get some sleep. I’ll be back soon.”
Biting his lip as mixed feelings of guilt and regret bubbled in his stomach, he asked, “we’ll, uh—we’ll talk, though. Right?”
“We’ll talk,” you promised. “Tomorrow.”
He fought with himself for another moment and then ended up saying, “okay. You never take me with you anyway.”
You didn’t have time to argue, so you kissed him before you went—quickly, softly, and with a nervous smile as you pulled away—and his heart seemed to leave with you as empty echoes of his racing pulse reverberated through his chest.
Tomorrow was very far away.
That would have been good if Jungkook still felt the paralysing panic from a few days ago. But even though he still felt scared now, he had already braced himself for the emotional consequences of telling you about the bet. Delaying it—against his will, this time—felt excruciating.
He knew he was the one to blame – he kissed you in the park instead of telling you about it right away, and then he agreed to wait until tomorrow.
And maybe this was what he deserved. He should have told you. But he hesitated and tried to convince himself of all sorts of irrational thoughts—and now here he was.
Alone.
And he was so frightened of being alone that he climbed right back on the motorcycle and headed to the address of the rental shop that Minjun had given him. He needed to do something, because he couldn’t sleep and he couldn’t scream at the top of his lungs, either.
Easily enough, Jungkook found himself in the bar of a hotel across the street from the rental shop. The shop didn’t open until eight, so he had a little over two hours before he could return the bike. A little over two hours before the night ended and he had to figure out what to do next.
He finished his first glass before a single thought could occur to him. By the second one, he felt his body start to relax, but chaos continued to reign in his mind.
What will I do, what will I do, what will I do?
As Jungkook lost track of how many drinks he had, he pondered every which way to reveal this to you and all the questions that you might ask.
What was the trip to Paris for? And the persistent way he followed you around? The conversation on the bridge in Stockholm? On the rooftop in Oslo? The bicycles in Amsterdam? The nights in your hotel room?
None of that was truly for the bet. But would it matter?
You said you loved him tonight. But you’d hate him tomorrow.
Maybe he could wait for five days until he formally lost the bet. Maybe he should tell you then. Maybe the fact that he lost something important to him would make up for—no.
Jungkook shook his head, nearly spilling the bourbon in his glass. He paused then, not even sure if he was still drinking bourbon. It all just tasted wet to him at that point.
Regardless, he couldn’t tell you after losing the bike. Even losing it didn’t seem like such a tragedy right now, compared to losing you.
While he agonised over it, the bartender continued bringing him drinks—always on the rocks, even though he couldn’t feel the cold anymore. The bartender was a kind elderly man, who probably should have known better than to keep serving alcohol to someone at six in the morning, but his experience told him that Jungkook was someone who needed it tonight.
Soon, however, Jungkook’s pride—his high tolerance for alcohol—became his biggest foe. He didn’t even realise how intoxicated he had become.
For all intents and purposes, he believed he was still fairly sober, considering how easily he spilt everything that was bothering him to the bartender. He even understood the advice he received in return—not that there was much to it.
“You have to tell her, son.”
He did have to tell you. He knew that.
And he was going to, he decided. Right now.
Jungkook found his way out of the bar with relative ease. Sure, he forgot that he had driven Minjun’s bike there, but he was able to walk without stumbling much, and that surely had to be an achievement.
Swaying only slightly, he stopped in the lot where the bus was parked and found your contact in his phone. Of course, the many emojis he’d used ensured that your name was the first one on the list, but he still found it easily enough.
Now, he had to admit this: he wasn’t sure if you actually answered his call. But he asked you to please, come outside, and within three minutes, you were standing in front of him.
If he had been aware of how drunk he was, he would have realised that he was screaming, so it didn’t matter if you’d picked up his call or not. You would have heard him anyway.
“What’s going on?” you asked, too confused to feel worried. You’d just returned with Yoongi’s laptop about half an hour ago. You weren’t sure if you’d even fallen asleep before coming outside again. “Are you drunk?”
There was exhaustion in your posture that Jungkook was too drunk to identify. You were very tired of dealing with the problems of drunk people tonight.
When Jungkook spoke, words poured out before he could properly think them through.
“Listen,” he said. His tongue felt oversized in his mouth. “I have to tell you something. I can’t—I should’ve told you this a long time ago. Maybe on the same day. Actually,” he hiccupped, “I never should’ve done this at all, then there would be nothing to tell.”
He hesitated for a moment, because in his mind—which was positively swimming in whiskey—he worried that his words may have caused a misunderstanding. He saw the frown on your face and cut in before you started to speak.
“Actually, no,” he said. “There would be things to tell. Because I like—I really—I like to talk to you. I want to tell you all kinds of things...” he paused here. Shook his head. “But not this. I don’t want to tell you this. But I must.”
He thought he came off very determined here, very confident. Really, he just sounded tired and drunk.
“Jungkook,” you said. “When I said we’ll talk tomorrow, I meant in the morning.”
“It’s—” He hiccupped again. “It’s morning.”
He wasn’t wrong, of course.
“After we got some sleep,” you clarified.
“Well, I can’t wait that long,” he insisted, stomping his foot and throwing himself off-balance. He had to lean against the side of the bus to stay upright.
You could tell that whatever he wanted to tell you was far worse than you expected. He was so drunk that he could barely stand, yet he was as determined as ever to get it all out right now.
You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest. The anxiety that you’d evaded was quick to resurface, and even you felt a little unsteady on your feet.
“Okay,” you said. “Well, what is it?”
Jungkook straightened as much as he could.
A deep inhale, followed by a sharp, rushed exhale.
“I made a bet with Sid that I’d get back together with you.”
Silence came next.
You felt a sinking sensation deep within you as if something—an invisible current—was pulling you under the surface of the water. The ground beneath you swirled in uncertain whirlpools.
“Sid said I couldn’t do it,” Jungkook continued after a moment, his eyes cast low. “And I was—I wanted to prove him wrong. He is wrong. He’s always wrong, he’s such a—anyday. I mean, anyway. T-that’s not—I didn’t—this isn’t making any sense.” He slapped himself on the forehead in newfound frustration and you flinched at the abrupt motion. The slap only made the truck stop start to spin around him. Pressing his hands to his hips, he tried to explain, “I didn’t win or anything. Which you obviously know, since we aren’t back together.”
He laughed sadly here. You narrowed your eyes and felt one of them twitch.
The night was cold, and you clutched your arms tighter around yourself. Your posture was not aggressive—you gazed somewhere past him and you appeared frightened. You looked as if the wind might snatch you and carry you off to a place that he could not reach.
But then your eyes met his and there was a frigid emptiness there that he didn’t recognise. He shrunk into himself when he noticed it.
“I-I bet my bike, so I lost that,” he continued. “Well, not yet, but I’m going to lose it soon. Not on purpose, but Sid won’t fucking let me end the bet—” he cut himself off by inhaling again.
It seemed like there was so much oxygen in his lungs—he kept breathing in as he spoke, but never breathing out.
“That’s not the point,” he finished his thought. “What I wanted to do—to say, I mean—is that I’m sorry. I wasn’t—I shouldn’t have done that. It was stupid. Sid got in my head.”
“Sid,” you repeated suddenly. The sharp sound of your voice startled him into looking up. “Got in your head.”
He looked at you for half a heartbeat. Somewhere in the whiskey haze, he could recall his conversation with Taehyung—or someone who resembled Taehyung. Jungkook remembered something about this being his own responsibility.
But then, he wasn’t sure if he remembered who Taehyung even was. Because, to be honest, he wasn’t sure if he remembered who he was.
“That’s an—that’s… that’s an excuse,” he managed to say. The letter S tasted wrong in his mouth. He clicked his tongue and continued, “he’s always in my head. I should’ve known better. I—I’m so sorry.”
You were breathing heavily, but you weren’t speaking.
He blinked his heavy eyes, each one of his eyelashes like lead.
“I just… I want you to know that everything that happened—it wasn’t because of the bet,” he said, swallowing after a great struggle. All these drinks tonight, and his throat still felt dry. “It was because I am—I really have been in love with you the whole time, and I—but I couldn’t—I can’t ask you to get back together while there’s this bet going on. Not that you’d agree—I just hope that you would—but I... i-it wouldn’t feel fair. It’s so—it’s all so fucking stupid.”
He groaned again and covered his face with his hands for a moment while he tried to collect his thoughts. There was so much he wanted to tell you and all of it was coming out so quickly that he wasn’t sure he told you anything at all.
“I had to—I should’ve told you sooner,” he said. Then, biting his lip harder than he’d meant to—the metal piercing dug into it painfully—he added, more softly, “I’m really sorry.”
You remained firm in your position and really started to resemble a statue. Contrary to what he expected, you didn’t ask him a single question. You just stared at him without any distinct emotion in your eyes.
He didn’t know what to do.
“Aren’t you,” he said shakily, “going to say anything?”
You finally moved—to inhale, then exhale. All through it, your chin was turned up as you looked at the line of trees in the distance.
“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” you finally said.
It was a sharp knife to his chest, this hollow voice that was supposed to belong to you.
He hung his head and took a deep breath.
None of this mattered.
It was over.
“You’re drunk,” you added then. “Go to sleep.”
He thought he caught a glimpse of sympathy in your words and he grasped at this flimsy straw and held onto it with all his might.
“Y-you heard me, though, right?” he tried, his voice desperate, eyes watery. “None of it was for the bet, I really—”
“Go to sleep, Jungkook.”
He couldn’t go to sleep, not if it meant he’d have no one to wake up to.
“Can I—” He coughed, the words catching on the sandpaper in his throat. “Can I talk to you in the morning?”
You stayed silent for a long, almost never-ending minute. Jungkook counted each second in his head, and he knew he might have messed up the numbers at least three times, but it still felt like you’d never speak again.
“I don’t think,” you finally said, “we have anything left to talk about.”
You turned around, but stopped for less than a moment, seemingly hesitating when you heard him call your name. Then you took another step and opened the door of the bus, climbing inside and leaving him here alone.
This wasn’t the first time you walked away from him, but this time, he knew it was his fault.
And there was another element to the suffocating grip around his neck—ever since you began to manage Rated Riot, you’d never left him alone when he was drunk.
But you left him tonight.
And even drunk, he knew what it meant.
He thought he’d prepared himself for this. But the sight of your back as you walked away from him, the sound of the bus door as it clicked shut behind you, and the feeling of complete silence around him at the truck stop—it all finally knocked all the oxygen out of his lungs. It made his heart beat faster, ridding his bloodstream of alcohol until all that he felt was pain.
He was not prepared for this. He doubted he ever could have prepared for it.
But he should have known this would happen.
He really fucked up. He ruined everything. It was over.
Hunching over as he tried to inhale but couldn’t, Jungkook pressed his hand to his chest. He felt something pulsating under his fingers, but he wasn’t sure what it was. Someone had emptied out the cavity inside of him where his organs had once been and filled it with rocks.
His vision was white and blurred. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, couldn’t stand.
He didn’t know what was happening to him.
He felt himself slide over the side of the bus until he hit the floor and smacked his head into the bus wall as violent tremors took over his body. He tried to breathe as he counted the beats of his heart until he couldn’t listen to his pulse whispering the same conclusion to him over and over again.
It was over.
It was over.
It was over.
It was—
His hand dug into the gravel on the ground, then grabbed the front of his shirt and held it in a tight fist. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Nothing worked to stop the relentless judgment from breaching his resistant mind.
He ruined everything. It was over.
Jungkook didn’t know how long he struggled to fill his lungs with something other than the heavy, opaque pain of losing you again.
He didn’t know why he struggled, nothing even mattered anymore.
When he eventually realised that he was still here and you still weren’t, there was an early morning redness in his eyes and on the edges of the sky above him.
Most unusually, the only clear thought in his head was about the bike that he’d told Minjun he would return. Another promise that he had failed to keep as he suddenly remembered abandoning the motorcycle by the bar.
Then he remembered the bar.
He had already drunk half of it.
He struggled to his feet, rubbed his eyes with the balls of his palms, and went back to finish the other half.
chapter title credits: bad omens, “what do you want from me?”
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#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#bts reactions#bts imagines#bts scenarios#jungkook fanfiction#bts x reader#jungkook fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts au#jungkook au#bts x you#jungkook x you#bts angst#bts fluff#bts rockstar au#jungkook rockstar au
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friday nights || byun baekhyun
1:34 AM 250424
word count: longer than i expected
pairing: byun baekhyun x reader (ft. im changkyun)
description: baekhyun ignores you for an entire week, and you don't know why.
genre: bestfriends to lovers!au, jealous!baekhyun, mutual pining, angst-ish, fluff after lmao
a/n: kinda rushed ending (?) lmk if you guys want a part 2 or a longer version!
You and Baekhyun have been best friends ever since you both got stood up by your dates on prom night. You vividly remember Baekhyun's reaction as your dates began making out in the middle of the dancefloor, leaving you both partnerless — and almost miserable. So, you invited him that exact moment to ditch the night and have some fun of your own, basically and invitation to sit on the gutter as you eat your melting ice cream.
But, that was a story for another time - now you’re in your third year of college. Your friendship’s been that long, and you swore, the last time you checked, the platonic energy between the both of you was almost tangible. Although you had a moments when romantic thoughts about him invaded your mind.
You swore it were mere milliseconds, though – and that you didn't think about how his hands could perfectly fit in yours and, how sweet his lips would've tasted like. Nothing of that sort, really. You knew that the both of you were awfully platonic, and nothing more. You didn't want to entertain thoughts of you and him together romantically, because it would never happen. Plus, you went out on a date last week.
You and Changkyun were totally hitting it off. And you would've told Baekhyun about him, but he's been ignoring you for the past 5 days. No calls, texts, nothing. Everytime you'd visit him on his breaks, he's always be out, or busy, or just not in the mood — which rarely happened.
So, you planned to corner him into telling you what's wrong. You really had no clue, but you've got a feeling that it had something to do with you. It was your break, and you checked your phone for Baekhyun's schedule. You both exchanged schedules the beginning of the semester, which is also probably why he'd been successful in avoiding you.
There was an overlap between your schedules. His class would end at around the same time as yours would start. But you were really determined to know what the hell's wrong you could just be late to class for a couple of minutes. And after a long, painful wait — catch him, you did.
He walked out with two of his friends, who you knew as Minseok and Jongdae. It was Minseok who spotted you first. He called Baekhyun and pointed at your direction.
"Hey, Y/N." Minseok waved at you, and so did Jongdae. You smiled and waved back as Baekhyun's eyes widened.
"Go on first, I'll catch up later." He told his friends, his eyes avoiding your gaze. The two walked off after saying goodbye.
"What are you doing here?" Baekhyun held your arm, gently pulling you to the side.
"You were avoiding me for a week, what's up?" You asked, eyeing him carefully. He reached to the nape of his neck. He removed his cap, fixed his hair, and put it back again.
"I... wasn't avoiding you," he said, still avoiding your eyes. You weren't convinced, so you pulled his face to meet yours.
"There, see!" you exclaimed, "you avoided my eyes again. What's wrong, Baek?"
"Nothing," he muttered. He glanced down his wristwatch, and urged you to move. "You're literally five minutes late to your class, get moving dumbass."
"No, I'm not leaving 'til you tell me what's wrong. Is it something I said? or did? Or, like, did something happen to your family? Come on, talk to me, don't shut me out like this."
You were honestly nervous, you feared that the friendship you had would be gone in a blink if you didn't do this.
Baekhyun sighed, and met your eyes. You heart dropped to your stomach. It felt different from his usual teasing glints, there were hints of longing. His eyes glossed a little, eyes bloodshot red. You immediately reached to his face, and his eyes closed and he leaned to your touch.
"Baek," you sighed softly, "have you not been sleeping?"
"Mmhm," Baekhyun hummed, hand on top of your hand on his cheek. "Let's...talk later." His eyes met yours this time.
You nodded with a soft, gentle smile. "Of course. Come over later? Let's watch a movie tonight." Your thumb ghosted over his cheek.
"But that's for Friday?"
You swore you saw Baekhyun frown a little from the loss of touch as you retreat your hand from his cheek, but you decided you were just crazy and that it wasn't like that.
You shrug, hands on your pocket. "We could do it like, two days earlier, it's fine."
"Why? So you could ditch on me and go on a date again?" He blurted out.
You audibly gasp, earning stares from passerbys. Your hand flew to your open mouth. "What do you mean? I didn't ditch you, I asked you if it was okay and you said yes!"
"I didn't!"
"You did! I even have the text messages here if you need refreshments, dude."
"Don't dude me, Y/N," Baekhyun groaned, rubbing his face roughly. It was an a look of frustration, and you felt it was directed to you.
"Is this why you're mad at me? Because you thought I ditched you?" Your voice slightly trembled. Now you were frustrated and confused.
"No!" he abruptly said, "No, I'm - I'm not mad at you, I just, Friday nights are for us," You internally winced, because you took that in way that isn't how friends should take it as.
"And you — "
"Baekhyun-ah!" You both looked at the direction of the voice. It was Junmyeon who called out with a smile as he approached you. "Oh hey, Y/N, what's up?"
You smiled and tried to push the argument you just had at the back of your mind. "Hi, oppa."
Baekhyun sighed, "What's wrong, hyung?"
"I couldn't find Chanyeol, he told me he'd be with you." Junmyeon's lips parted a lottle, "Did I interrupt you guys?"
"Yeah, we're kinda bu—" You interrupted Baekhyun.
"We just finished talking, oppa," you glance at your watch to avoid Baekhyun's intense gaze. "I have to get to class, I'm suuuper late. See you later!" You waved Junmyeon goodbye, and turned away quickly.
You hear Baekhyun call to you as the distance grew farther. You didn't want to lose Baekhyun over a fight like this, especially when you thought of him in a different light yet again.
~ • ~
Baekhyun's heart broke a little as he looked at you walk away. He let out a heavy sigh as he massaged his eyebrows.
Junmyeon noticed. "Are you good?"
Baekhyun looked up at him and nodded yes. Junmyeon was not convinced though, but he decided not to push it. "Come on, let's meet them."
Baekhyun stayed silent. He moved on autopilot, basically just following Junmyeon's footsteps — but not before looking back to the place you once stood at.
The guys laughed loudly in the middle of the restaurant. Baekhyun and Junmyeon settled down, "Did you get food already?" asked Junmyeon.
"We ordered pasta and pizza, you could order more if you want to, though," Minseok said. "It's Jongdae's treat for missing the last get together."
"Nice."
The guys continued to talk, and joke around. Food kept arriving at their table, and everyone dug in except Baekhyun. He was staring at nothing, just picking on his food with a fork.
"Hyung, are you okay?" Jongin nudged Baekhyun. He looked up, and forced a smile.
"Yeah, of course." There was a moment of silence before Chanyeol broke the ice.
"You guys remember Changkyun?” He asked. Baekhyun’s ears perked up, the name was familiar. Too familiar, in fact. His eyebrows knitted tightly, he couldn’t help it.
“What about him?” Sehun popped a fry in his mouth. Lay tilted his head slightly.
“He’s throwing a party tonight, he invited us.”
“What’s his business inviting us? We don’t even know him,” Baekhyun bitterly spat and did not go unnoticed by his friends.
Chanyeol and Junmyeon exchanged glances with Kyungsoo, who sighed and said, “We can just not go, it’s not a big deal.”
Baekhyun just drew a big sigh and ruffled his hair. To say he was pissed was an understatement. He’d been so bothered about you dating other guys, and he hated the fact that he couldn’t even tell it to you directly.
After all, you both agreed on staying strictly platonic after having witnessed your sister and her then bestfriend get married and divorced on the same year.
“What’s with you, Hyung? You rarely act this way,” Jongin asked, eyes full of concern.
Sehun snickered, “He always acts this way whenever a certain someone’s involved.”
Minseok hummed in agreement. Baekhyun groaned as Kyungsoo spoke, “You mean Y/N?”
“Precisely,” Sehun confirmed with a smirk.
“Aren’t you strictly platonic?” Jongdae asked.
“Yes.” Sadly.
“Huh, so why are you jealous?” Kyungsoo asked.
“I am not jealous.” Lie.
“You definitely are.”
“I’m not.” Yes, he was.
“You like her, don’t you?”
“What?” Yes.
“You do!”
“What are you even —“
“Someone’s got a crush —!”
“I—“
“Just admit it, Hyung!”
“N —“
“Baekhyun —“
“I love her, damn it!”
Silence filled the table. Everyone suddenly laughed out loud after his outburst — they knew you got Baekhyun fucked up in the head and they love to see it.
Now, Baekhyun’s admitted it and there was no going back. He had avoided saying it for the longest time for the fear of it “coming true” when he knew that he had no say in his feelings from the get-go.
“Just tell her, confess, do something,” Kyungsoo said.
“That’s easier said than done.”
“Would you rather lose her to Changkyun?” Lay suddenly spoke up. Baekhyun looked at him, and he knew his hyung made a point. He had to do something.
~ • ~
Time went by fast, and it's been two days since you last saw Baekhyun. Still, no calls nor texts from Baekhyun. You were beginning to doubt your decision of avoiding the conversation — you start to think that you should've let him finish talking before walking out like that.
Is he gonna drop by tonight? It's literally friday, its — its your movie night. Or is he never gonna talk to you, and you end up losing the love of your life?
Wait, no. He's your bestfriend, so you love him, right? Its that kind of love that's purely platonic, isn't it? Plus, you had a date! And you totally hit it off, you swore to god.
Okay, maybe you lied. You and Changkyun were bonding over relationship traumas instead of building up a new relationship. You both had a cup of sweet tea, but the conversations you had left a bitter taste in both your mouths.
Changkyun also mentioned someone he liked, and was in fact, asking for advice. That's why you both set another date for tomorrow, solely for the sake of advices. Besides, you also enjoyed complaining to him about Baekhyun's annoying habits that you secretly liked.
You then pace back and forth, probably hyperventilating and on the verge of another panic attack. You bite on your nails as you watched a late night game show, or atleast tried to watch.
You couldn't focus on it. You sat down, your knees bounced up and down. So you stood, but you kept pacing back and forth. And you'd look at the television, but would later find yourself starting at the clock. You were so immersed that you failed to notice the numerous missed phone calls.
Until the door bell rang. You sprinted towards the door, opened it in one motion.
And there he was, holding a bouquet of roses. He offered a sheepish smile, and offered up the bouquet.
You didn't even realize you've been holding your breath 'til you saw him on your doorstep. You immediately engulfed him with a hug, your tears threatening to spill.
He hugged you back as he buried his face at the crook of your neck. You missed his scent, so much.
You pulled away, "I - I thought you wouldn't — "
He cut you off, "Don't go."
You look at him, confused. You wipe your tear-stained cheeks, settling your hands on his biceps. "What? What do you mean?"
"On that date," he said, eyes intensely on yours. "Don't go on that date, please."
"Well, that's for tomorrow still, I —"
"No, you don't understand. I," Baekhyun took a deep breath. "I don't just mean tonight. I mean, don't ever go on a date with another man. Please."
You were speechless as you watched Baekhyun frown in thought, trying to compose what he wanted to say.
“I,” he paused. He looked his shoes, and licked his lips in anticipation. “I get livid when I think of another man touching you, or holding your hands, and the mere thought of you kissing someone else makes me go insane, you have no idea.
“My heart races when our fingers touch, and I can’t help but want to kiss you when you do something childish. Or when you cry because of a stupid movie — I want to grow old with you, sit under a tree and watch as our children run across the fields. I — I love you. For the longest time, I’ve loved you. I love you, Y/N.”
You were speechless and shaking. Here was the man you longed for, confessing his love to you — and you couldn’t believe it. Your jaw drops, and he looked at you with great intent.
“I love you, too,” you said, tears rolling down your cheeks. “You dumb idiot, what took you so long? I kept it all in, I waited for you for so long! I —“
He captured your lips with his in the softest way possible. A moment lingers as he pulled away,
“I’m sorry for making you wait, Y/N. I —“
You pull him back in, deepening the kiss as you hook your arms around his neck — bodies flushed against each other. He dropped the bouquet, and put his hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him.
“Shut up and kiss me, baby.” You said in between breaths and kisses.
#bbh net#byun baekhyun#exo baekhyun#exo fanfic#exo#exo junmyeon#exo chanyeol#exo jongdae#exo scenarios#exo imagines#baekhyun x you#baekhyun x reader#college au
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anywhere || eddie munson x plus size!reader
cw: angst, talking about drug usage, eddie's in the hospital post-vecna, your mom kinda fuckin sucks, best friend!eddie who likes you more than you realize
a/n: that one line in the muppet babies theme song fucks me up every time. literally every time I hear it I tear up. so thanks for that jim henson.
-----
"When your world looks kinda weird and you wish you weren't there," Eddie's terrible Kermit impression makes you laugh so hard you almost spill the bowl of cereal you're pouring. You hit him back with your equally terrible baby Miss Piggy voice.
"Just close your eyes and make believe that you could be anywhere!"
Eddie snorts at the way your voice cracks trying to hit notes your voice was not made to hit.
"Shut up, that was flawless and you know it," you hand Eddie his bowl with a grin and plop down on the couch next to him. Were you watching cartoons made for children? Yes, but who didn't love Kermit the Frog and his adorable little muppet friends?
You missed this, being here with Eddie. A lot had changed since you started going to college last year while Eddie stayed behind to be a senior for a third time, but not this. Your friendship never changed. It was something you treasured coming home to, when you could. School was starting to pile up and these visits were becoming few and far between, but Eddie would always be your Eddie. You were sure of it.
"So you're leading up Hellfire now, huh?," you asked Eddie as you finished your cereal. He took your bowl and put it on the coffee table with his, not meeting your eyes. Maybe you shouldn't have brought it up. The two of you didn't talk about it much, him still being in school. Like you didn't want to break the spell that everything was normal. The two of you hanging out like normal, like you did since you were kids. It was comfortable, you didn't want to ruin that.
"Yeah the, uh...yeah. It's up to me now I guess. The guys know they can't compete with my campaigns."
He's smiling, all cocky because it's true, they're always amazing. But his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.
Weren't your just saying nothing had changed? Maybe you a lot had changed and you just weren't paying attention.
"I miss adventuring with you," you sigh, snuggling into Eddie's side until he puts his arm over your shoulder. "And the guys."
"Yeah, they miss you too," Eddie's voice sounds strained. You try to move thinking you're laying on him in a weird way, but he just pulls you closer, tighter.
You spend the rest of the morning watching cartoons. Eventually you forget the weird tension, putting it aside to enjoy your day with your best friend before you have to leave again.
-----
It's a year before you see Eddie again.
School was tough, taking up so much of your free time you barely saw anyone besides the librarian and the two people you shared a dorm room with. You had tried to join a DnD club at school but your schedule didn't line up well with the rest of the group. And it wasn't the same. You missed Eddie's energy, his frantic dramatics. The guys were cool but sticklers for rules and, to put it nicely, boring.
You couldn't take being away from home any longer, you missed your friend.
So when your mom called one Friday afternoon and told you, in her own bizarre and nonchalant way, that Eddie had been in some trouble recently and, "I'm sure you saw the news about the earthquakes," you came straight home.
"You know, I always thought he was a nice boy. Did you know he was selling... grass," your mom whispered the last word like police officers would be knocking down her door if she spoke too loud.
"I didn't." You did. You also partook, but your mother didn't need to know that.
"Anyway, everyone got all upset when that little cheerleader died, but when they found him, like that, I guess they thought he was a victim too. Can't maul yourself like that, that's for sure."
"Oh my god, mom," you stand up, your chair harshly scraping against the linoleum. You can't sit here and listen to this any more.
"Where are you going? I have a pie in the oven."
Your mom follows you to the door, huffing like you're the one being ridiculous. She never liked Eddie much but the ease with which she talks about your childhood best friend being... mauled...
"I'll be back later."
You don't wait for her to respond, slamming the door as you go. You hop in the hand-me-down car your dad gave you before you left for school, peeling down the drive and heading straight for the hospital like you should've done when you got back. Tears cloud the edges of your vision until they spill over, you don't bother wiping them away.
-----
"Hey, you're Eddie's girl."
"Excuse me?"
A short, curly haired boy in a baseball cap appears next to you when you ask the receptionist where Eddie's room is located.
"It's okay, Brenda. She's with me." You snort out a laugh when the boy tips his hat to the woman behind the desk. Her smile and the wave of her hand tells you she is in fact used to this.
"I'm Dustin," the kid explains as you follow him through the maze of hallways and elevators. "Eddie's told me a lot about you. Recognized you from the picture he thinks I don't know about in his glove box. Not my fault he just shoves stuff in there. If he didn't want everything to spill out he should organize. Not that I'm great at organizing either-"
"I'm sorry," you stop Dustin's rambling, your head spinning from all that information, narrowing in on the one that stuck. "He keeps my picture in his van?"
"Yeah a few in his room too. He's just down here. You just missed the guys, Jeff had to go to work and he was their ride so they left. Wayne will be in later. He usually stops by after work."
Dustin kept talking and you tried to keep up but the closer you got to Eddie's room the more your ears rang and your chest felt tight. You knew it was bad, he'd been in for a few days and was still heavily sedated after a number of surgeries. Wayne told you the day before you came back on the phone that he might not be awake when you got here. The old man might've been trying to spare you the trip, but you were coming to see him no matter what. You should've come back a long time ago.
Standing outside his room now, the year you were away felt like an eternity now. How had your Eddie changed? Was he your Eddie anymore? Was he ever yours?
"Hey, you comin' in? He's still sleeping."
Steeling yourself with one deep breath, you enter Eddie's room. With one look at Eddie and you're asking Dustin for a minute alone, pulling up a chair by his side.
"Sorry I'm late, Eddie. Traffic coming out of the city is crazy." You laugh at your stupid joke because you'll cry if you do anything else. You don't think about the air tube in his nose or the beeping heart monitor, the bandages on his arms or how hollow, how fragile he looks.
"My mom said you've been selling 'grass'," you chuckle as you twist one of his curls around your finger. "Should I tell her how many times I snuck out to smoke with you? She's already mad at me for taking time off from school to be here."
Eddie lays there as you talk, sleeping softly as you compliment the cards and flowers on the window sill. You tell him how the past two semesters of school have been, how miserable you've been without him, how guilty you've felt for "missing" his calls, not reading his letters because you've been too exhausted to do anything that wasn't surviving and work.
You're holding his weirdly ring-less fingers, contemplating leaving instead of holding out hope that he'll wake up while you're here, when you hear a familiar theme song on the television.
"When your world looks kind of weird,"
Your gaze falls from the TV to your friend in his hospital bed.
"And you wish you weren't there,"
Your eyes close wishing you were back in Eddie's house, stoned out of your mind doing muppet impressions.
A tear falls down your cheek as you close your eyes and sing along with Miss Piggy, not caring how ridiculous you sound.
"Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere."
You choke on a sob, suddenly angry at this stupid kids show for making you lose it when you were holding yourself together so well.
"Still sounds awful."
You open your eyes, wiping your tears away with your hand not in Eddie's at the groggy sound of his voice. He's holding the other one tight, almost too tight, like you'll run if he lets go.
"That was a perfect impression," the words stutter on a heaving breath but you're smiling through it.
"I'm on so many drugs."
"I'll go get the nurse," you laugh, trying to pull yourself together.
"No," Eddie just barely tugs on your hand, not yet strong enough to pull you close. "Don't leave."
"I'm not, I won't. I'm here, Eddie. I'm sorry."
Eddie's eyes flutter shut, too tired yet for a full conversation, but he won't let your hand go. You find the call button next to the bed to call the nurse and wait.
"I'm not going anywhere."
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🖤
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x plus size!reader#eddie munson angst#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson drabble#eddie munson one shot#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fan fiction#my fics
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Hello :)
I have been literally obsessed with One Piece for quite some time and I unfortunatelly run out of new one shots to read. And I saw you are taking requests... If you have time or if you are willing to write it I will be more than happy if you could write anything smutty with Luffy x fem reader were they are in an established realtionship. (also if you could maybe add a little age gap where Luffy is around 19 and reader is slightly older). But since I know how life can be hectic I dont want to pressure you and it is completely fine if you wont write it.
Have a nice day/night :)
A Love as Strong as the Sea
Hello and hope have nice night or day as well!!
Warning: smut, slight age-gap
Summary : Luffy and Y/N, two members of the notorious pirate crew known as the Straw Hats, have a strong affection and friendship that are examined in this article. The couple declared their love for one another after surviving a terrifying ordeal on a desolate island, and they haven't been apart since. Luffy and Y/N have a love story that is both adventurous and deeply felt, fueled by intense intimacy and deep knowledge of one another. The unshakable tie between them is evident as the sun sets on the Thousand Sunny, with their love burning as brightly as the sky.
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Luffy and his sweetheart, Y/N, were lying in their cabin together as the sun was starting to set on the Thousand Sunny. Their love had only gotten deeper during the nearly a year they had been together. Luffy, who is currently 19 years old, has always had a deep romantic attachment to Y/N, a 23-year-old member of their pirate crew. But they didn't talk about their feelings until they were stuck together on a remote island and had to rely on one another to survive.
And they were never separated after that. Luffy enjoyed feeling every inch of Y/N's smooth skin as they lay in bed together, running his fingertips over her entire body. His touch made her shudder, her body reacting excitedly to his every motion. They could only speak to each other in a language they understood. Luffy would place his head on Y/N's chest and let her stroke his jet-black hair as he relaxed, listening to the steady beat of her heart.
However, the vibe between them was different tonight. Luffy knew that Y/N felt the same way since he could feel the need blazing within him. He leaned in closer and kissed her deeply and passionately without saying anything. Their bodies were pressed close to one another as their tongues moved in perfect accord. Y/N was compelled to run her hands over Luffy's thick chest, feeling each crease and rip in his physique. His strength and drive had always drawn her in, and this only served to increase her desire for him.
Luffy withdrew momentarily, his eyes brimming with need and affection. Above all, he wanted to demonstrate to Y/N how much she meant to him. He didn't say anything; he just reached to her waist and pulled her up so she was on top of him. Y/N straddled him, her legs coiled around his waist, her naughty smirk directed downward at him. Luffy drew her close, his hands holding her hips as his intense gaze blazed into hers.
Their bodies eventually found a rhythm as they moved in unison and explored each other in the most personal way imaginable. Each of their passionate, loving gestures was a proclamation of their feelings for one another. Luffy's hands were free to move over Y/N's body, caressing and teasing her in all the appropriate spots. He could feel her edge drawing nearer and nearer, and all he wanted was to push her over the brink and watch her fall fully into his arms.
And when she did, Luffy was unable to contain herself any longer as he let out a loud groan at his name. Their hearts pounded in unison as they reached their climax simultaneously, their bodies engulfed in pleasure with a last thrust. Luffy couldn't help but feel appreciative of this stunning woman who had captured his heart as they lay entwined in each other's arms as their breathing gradually returned to normal. And as they fell asleep, he realized that they would always and forever confront obstacles together, no matter what.
Despite their different ages, Luffy and Y/N's love was unwavering. And at that precise moment, their unshakable bond which was stronger than any age gap could be was all that mattered.From that night on, their passion for one another grew stronger with every day, and their love only grew from then on. As they sailed off on their next journey, they realized that the only thing that mattered was that they had each other, no matter what lay ahead.
#x reader#one piece#one piece fanfiction#smut#one piece luffy#luffy smut#one piece fluff#x female reader#x fem!reader#request are open#requested#luffy x y/n#monkey d luffy x reader#luffy fluff#monkey d. luffy#monkey d. luffy x reader#fluff#one piece imagine#smutty romance#oneshot#one piece scenario#one piece scenarios#one piece headcanons#one piece smut#one piece x reader#one piece x you
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Seven, give me one more chance!!
Hey how's it going? This is the first time I write a story, finish it and post it.
SUMMARY: Leona died in the Overblot, Crowley asks you to use his unique magic "Seven, give me one more chance" and go back in time to save him. However, after many attempts you decide to go back in time much further and cancel the inter-bedroom games, even though Leona hates you for it.
WARNING: Time travel, Death, Overblot, open ending (my heart couldn't bear to write until the end), reader insertion, I don't use Y/N, reader is not Yuu, Reader is in Scarabia, Google Tradutor, mental fatigue for the reader, the reader needs a hug, possible Leona X reader, but it can be read as platonic , like creating a friendship that will last a lifetime, nothing too heavy, just angst without comfort.
There were 58 attempts in a row and no breaks (ok, maybe you caught a few breaks, but you never took your goal out of your mind).
You approach Leona who is dead on the floor in a pool of dark paint.
No matter how many times you see this scene, it hurts worse than you remember the last time!
If you ask anyone, you've only known Leona for 3 days. And somehow you knew exactly everything that was necessary for him to let you stay by her side without stressing, but for you it wasn't like that...
You remember it like it was yesterday, you were excited because everyone on your team had recovered from the weird injuries that happened and would be able to play.
There were rumors among the students that the culprit of the recent "accidents" was Savanaclaw's vice-leader and that he followed his Housewarden's rules in doing so (you later discovered that Ruggie was not the vice-leader and that in fact, Savanaclaw there was no deputy leader).
Unfortunately, before the game started it was cancelled. You and everyone you knew were outraged by the idea.It didn't take long for you to discover that the leader of the King of Beasts' dormitory, the second prince of Sunset Savana, Leona Kingscholar had died.
And with all the companies that would share NRC's long-awaited dorm games all but talking about the death of Savanaclaw's housewarden, it didn't take long for Director Crowley to ask for his help again.
If there's anything you regret putting on your student resume, it was your unique magic, "Seven, give me one more chance!"
Your unique magic allowed you to go back in time a week, and be able to redo something that had happened.
At the beginning of the school year, Crowley asked you to save the housewarden Riddle Rosehearts from the same fate that Leona had suffered, you were rewarded for that and this time it would be no different.
So that Crowley could remember what he had promised, he engraved on a memory stone the promise of his reward and told him to engrave his failures on the stone every time he failed in his mission.
It wasn't because you could go back in time that you could get everything you wanted on the first try, when you saved Riddle, you had to use your unique magic twice before you managed to save him.
Riddle never knew you helped him, because for him. He had never even come close to overblotting.
Crowley promised you that every time you needed to use your unique magic he would pay you 10,000 madols.
Now, in the present you regretted making that deal. You approached Leona countless times until she literally learned exactly how to act around him, you became attached, you created bonds you thought you would never create.
Just to watch him die, over and over again. Attempt after attempt. And in each attempt, you see that he didn't remember anything you experienced.
You didn't care about the money anymore, all you wanted was for Leona to live or just turn into sand and die next to her.
No...You couldn't die, because when you died, Leona would no longer have any chance of living.
When did you start to care about him so much?You just wanted this all to end as you cried over Leona's dead body. Almost powerlessly, you took out the memory stone that Crowley had given you a long time ago.
And headmage who had arrived to see what the mess was about saw you holding her in tears.
"Fa...il 58"
Crowley approached, and saw that the memory stone was black when normally they are transparent.
Memory stones take on the color of the feelings of the memories they carry, and usually the colors are so faint that you need to look at them closely to see them.
It may not seem like it, but Crowley is a smart guy. He knows about his unique magic, he knows that he has already asked you to do several services for him, he knows that memory stones are difficult to get and he knows how many times he has given them to you for you to show him later.
Knowing this, it doesn't take much to connect the dots.
You were in a cycle of endless repetitions to do something he ordered, but from the color of the stone, he understood that you were suffering from it.
As much as he knew that several consequences would fall on him, Crowley knew when to give up, even though he had just discovered that he was on a mission to avoid this disaster.
"Let's stop here!" He spoke, placing a hand on your shoulder, only for you to look incredulous as you understood the meaning of his words.
"No…it's not over yet! I can continue…le..leave it to me!!" You said, your voice breaking and looking at him as if asking for permission, you would do it anyway.
If there's something you learned from your time with Leona that only you can choose when to give up, no one can do it for you, ever!
So you asked Crowley for a power-enhancing potion.
If it was his last attempt, you would throw all your cards on the table! You'd cancel inter-dorm games before they even started.
LEONA FORGIVE YOU, BUT HE'S NOT DYING AGAIN ON HIS TURN!!
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The first thing you feel when you wake up is your bed, it doesn't take you even 5 seconds to get out of bed, soon being struck by dizziness.
You take out your cell phone and look at the date and time, apparently you managed to go back long enough to prevent future events.
And just in case you fail, you may have had time to rest and try again.
After getting ready, you run to the building where Crowley's office is, you can't help but feel a wave of hope over your chest.
You barely knock on the door and go in (read that as opening the door with so much force that it makes a tremendous bang).
"Headmage, I bring news!!" You say smiling, then you stop and notice that Crowley was in the middle of a meeting with the housewardens.
Silence
...
..
.
"Kalim, you should have more control over the students in your dorm!" Vil says it as advice you find too oppressive.
"Uh...well!?" Kalim ends up having no reaction.
Riddle stares at you, "If you allow me, I can give you a proper punishment!"
Kalim looked embarrassed, it wasn't his intention to do this to his housewarden. And that ruins his good mood.
"Maybe before you scold the students in other people's dorms, you should take care of your own!" You say, taking a few steps forward to be able to communicate better.
It's not that you don't want to get out of there as quickly as possible and hide your head under the ground like an ostrich. You just don't like being told off by your dorm leader.
Kalim may not be the best, but unlike all the other housewardens, he has empathy and this makes him the best when it comes to helping the students in his dorm.
"Pomefiore students don't barge into important meetings without being invited and I dare say those from Heartsbyul are on a similar level!" Vil narrows his eyes at you.
"If a similar level you mean by blowing up the science lab almost every week and burning statues around. Of course!! You guys are amazing! Believe what you want, as long as you don't bother me or my housewarden!" You can see Vil sending you an extremely nasty look which you gladly send back, though Kalim flinches slightly in surprise.
Everyone knows that Rook is always doing new experiments in the science club and almost every week there is a new mess in the laboratory, not to mention that the fact that the statue of the Queen of Hearts was burned at the beginning of the year by students from Heartstabyul and Ramshackle will be remembered for ever.
"If I may" Azul gets everyone's attention dispelling the discussion "As much as I don't agree with this student's actions, don't you think you're missing something?"
"Something?" Crowley tries to remember, but was cut off by Idia's voice on her tablet.
"The student said he had news!" Idia said in a tired, slurred voice.
"The right!" Crowley remembered your entrance! "So tell me young man, what trouble do you bring me this time?" The headmage asked
The 'This time' didn't go unnoticed by the people in the room.
You looked at the housewardens, your gaze stopping a little longer than it should on Leona, he would hate you for that. Then you fixate on the one crow you started to hate with all your might and smile.
"We have to cancel the inter-dorm tournament!" You say in a tone that is way too serious for someone Kalim remembers that the day before he was super excited about making the official dorm team and that scares him.
Apparently he wasn't the only one shocked by the information, you can see Azul's glasses fall a little, Vil's eyebrows twitch, Riddle and Idia's gasp. And the slight twitching of Leona's ears.
Leona gets stressed and gets up from her seat, with her eyebrows furrowed and her tail flicking to one side and then the other. "You seem like quite an audacious herbivore, to just assume you can come in and say whatever you want, as if everyone will accept what you say with their heads bowed!"
You know that expression, and as much as he's a hunter threatening his prey, you can only manage a sly smile.
"And who said I need you or anyone to accept anything, your highness? You can have your say, but Crowley has the final say!" You say sarcastically looking at him.
You know you shouldn't irritate him more than he already is, but something in you knows you can handle it.
If Leona is going to hate him, you want to do it in the same way you did when he still "tolerated" you, as he used to say.
Leona didn't seem happy with her answer. Of course, who in their right mind would be?
"ENOUGH!!" Crowley screams and this makes Leona lower her ears a little at Crowley's scream for a moment.
"Young man, I want you to know that I can't just cancel the games for any reason!" Crowley approaches.
"Apparently the final decision really came from Crowley!" Vil speaks with a smile.
"Therefore!" Headmage walks over and puts a hand on his shoulder, "Give me the stone and I'll be canceling everything related to the games this year!"
"What's/Ah?" Everyone in the room (except you and the director) is shocked by the news.
Crowley knows about your unique magic and knows that you wouldn't suggest this crazy idea without his permission in some future timeline.
"Wait headmage!" Riddle stands up from his seat, "You can't cancel just because an unruly student suggested it!"
"Exactly!" It was Blue's turn to stand up, "We would incur a huge loss due to several breaches of contracts, I would appreciate it if you thought a little more about the matter!"
"I disagree! Overthinking will only make us fail again and we don't have that option!" You tell the director.
"Fail again?" The lion beastman next to you whispers as if trying to record this information.
Crowley on the other hand stares at you for a few seconds before speaking:
"Won't we get another chance?... How much of your magic did you use to accomplish your last task?!" The director looks scared, he finally pays enough attention to notice you don't have your pen.
You furrow your eyebrows, the amount of magic you used to save the second prince of Sunset Savannah almost made you go into overblot and the negative feelings building up weren't helping at all.
You simply keep your pen in a compartment inside your uniform, because you don't like looking in the mirror and seeing that pen with a stone that is practically black and obscured by the stain, with a hint of bright red (Before you start storing it) There you tried to convince yourself that this little red piece was your hope for a better future).
You look at him for a moment and put your hand in your pocket, taking out a small cloth bag inside which there were two memory stones, one black, where you kept your failures and the other yellow, where you kept the good moments of your past. and coming in time.
As the last few times Crowley looks at the black stone in amazement, you also know that the other housewardens who managed to see the stone know that it doesn't bring back good memories.
"If I really need to show this to someone to explain the reason for canceling the games, make sure it's someone who won't bother me later!" You give the stone to the director.
The director becomes serious, as far as he remembered, you were someone quite soft and lively. He understands that he must have asked for something difficult, so he just agrees.
"Wait, wait! So we're really canceling the games?" Reality finally sinks in for Kalim, he looks at you "You were so excited about this yesterday..."
You look at your housewarden, he was always a great mayor for Scarabia and always cheered you up when you were down, you know how excited he was for the games, but he also understands that he has to make a choice.
The games or LeonaAnd you know you would always choose Leona!
"Sorry Kalim-Senpai! That choice was the best we could find!" You bowed your head slightly in a sign of respect. "If you'll excuse me, class will start soon!" You bow towards the housewardens and Crowley as if you had never offended them and leave.
The room is silent for a while, everyone with their own thoughts.
Leona returned to her seat irritated and the meeting continued a little later."Headmage..." Azul called out to Crowley who focused on the housewarden. "That student gave you a memory stone as an explanation for canceling the games, right?"
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During class, you didn't care about staying focused, because besides already knowing next month's material practically by heart, you couldn't get two faces out of your mind.
The first was that of his housewarden, Kalim Al-Asim. If you knew anyone who was excited for the games it was him.
Of course he may have forgotten about the games when Jamil, his deputy housewarden was injured just before the games started.
He had looked at you as if you had betrayed him. You kind of understand, since you remember that before all the mess started, you were one of the most excited people in Scarabia for the tournament.
And the second face was Leona's, his look was one of disgust, you had pulled the rug out from under her and all of Savanaclaw in less than five minutes.
Taking all your effort and planning down the drain You know you're going to get some angry looks over the next few months, and you know your mood is about to collapse.
You don't think isolating yourself is the best option, as it will make you anxious. But facing the stress of school and having multiple students on your tail would also be horrible.
Perhaps the best option is to go to Crewel-sensei and ask for help with your stain, he will probably give you a certificate and send you to the infirmary, which is a safe place to a certain extent.
I probably won't continue, but feel free to imagine what will happen.
Don't feed my work to AI.
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#leona twst#twisted wonderland leona#leona kingscholar#twst leona#kalim#idia#Twisted wonderland AU#twst au#twst riddle#crowley#vil twst#leona#vil twisted wonderland#vil schoenheit#riddle rosehearts#twst x mc#scarabia#savanaclaw#kalim al asim#overblot#twst wonderland#overblot leona#Leona overblot#twst housewardens#headmage crowley
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“What do you mean you’re not going?”
sirius black x insecure!fem!reader
TW: ED, panic attack, breakdown, body images, crying, emotional traumas happy ending tho!!
a/n: this isn’t proofread and this is literally my first fic be kind pls!!
Y/N had always been considered a marauder since she sat with them during their first ride of the Hogwarts Express in their first year however once she was sorted into Hufflepuff they obviously were not able to spend much time around one another
Y/N had also developed a crush on a certain Sirius Black during the course of their fifth year when he had run away from his parents and had openly shown his love for muggle traditions such as nail polish and eyeliner.
Sirius had never noticed her affection mostly because she spent most of her time avoiding him, however every year the 4 marauders including the Hufflepuff girl would meet in Hogsmead for their annual marauders day.
It was a tradition started in first year when they all had gotten their permission slips signed and decided that they knew nothing of Hogsmead and it would be safer for them to travel together in which they soon found themselves wanting to go to the same stores and thus a bond of everlasting love and friendship was born.
Y/N was now however considering cancelling her plans with her friends because her outfit that she had picked out to wear at the beginning of the week had somehow looked tighter than what she had remembered it looked like.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had used these clothes but that didn’t matter because her size had never changed before. Her mother had made sure of that whenever she visited home that she was to be placed on a strict diet because upon arriving her mother had noticed her stomach had looked chubbier than when she left.
Y/N had admitted she was not one to focus on portion control because the good at Hogwarts was amazing and she was used to eating a lot so that she had enough stamina to get through quidditch practice and none of the other boys ever commented on how much she ate because they all ate similar to her.
She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and decided that she would try and find another outfit. Y/N tried on countless clothes she had in her wardrobe only to try on a pair of jeans she hadn’t worn since she was 12 that obviously no longer fit her however that was her last straw as she collapsed into the pile of clothes and sobbed.
After cleaning herself up and pushing all her clothes back into the cupboard trying not to look too closely at herself in the mirror stuck inside her wardrobe doors she pulled on a pair of Sirius’ sweatpants and one of James’ old quidditch t-shirts.
She knew there was no way she would be able to make it to Hogsmead now considering she was already late from doing her hair and makeup which was inevitably ruined by her breakdown so she decided to walk to the Gryffindor common room to let the boys know she would have to skip out on todays adventures.
She softly muttered the password to the common room however upon arriving she noticed that Sirius was the only one sitting at the fireplace. She cocked her eyebrow wondering where all the boys were and walked over to him and as he looked up he gave her a confused body glance at her choice of attire.
“What are you wearing? We’re late and the boys are already on their way to the leaky cauldron!” Sirius exclaimed and she smiled forcefully before she looked him in the eyes as she hugged herself in comfort. “I- uh actually can’t make it to Hogsmead today…” she murmured embarrassed that she had made him wait for her only for her to turn him away.
“Are you sick? I mean none of us have missed a single Hogsmead trip together since first year, even when Remus had a full moon the night before we dragged him out of bed just so that we could get-“ Sirius was cut off by a frustrated and pained voice “I know Sirius, I just don’t want to go! Okay?” She exclaimed.
“What do you mean you’re not going?” He looked at her confused. “I just can’t go, you guys should have fun without me and bring me back some sweets from Honeydu-“ however it was her turn to be cut off by Sirius who shook his head “I’m not leaving without you Y/N, it’s a marauders day and if you can’t be there then there’s no point in the day is there?” He smiled and winked at her.
She was confused on why he was making such a big deal out of her going however she just rolled her eyes. “I just don’t think I look good in what I planned to wear and..I didn’t want you guys to be embarrassed…about me” she looked down as her eyes glossed over with unshed tears.
“Hey hey, don’t cry” Sirius cooed softly as he pulled her towards him and stroked her hair as her muttered comforting words into her hair. She felt her tears leave her eyes and she sobbed into his leather jacket. Sirius felt her body shake with each sob that tore through her and he felt his heart break a little with each painful sound leaving her.
“I can’t look at myself in the mirror anymore Sirius, I hate it i hate it i hate it. I hate how I l-look and how when I-I smile I have lines around my mouth, I hate that my t-thighs t-touch and that I c-can’t stop my eyes from getting dark circles and that my t-tummy isn’t flat” She cried hysterically into his shirt.
“I can’t do this anymore, i-it hurts. P-please make it stop P-please Siri make it s-stop” Sirius could feel the tears running down his face as all he could do was hug her tighter as he pulled them towards the marauders dorm and laid on his bed with his arms wrapped around Y/N.
“I know I can’t fight those thoughts for you but I need you to know that I will always find you beautiful, nothing is going to change that for me okay?” He squeezed her tighter as he heard her panicked breathing turn into shallow breaths.
“None of us will ever be embarrassed of you because of how you look okay? Do you remember in fourth year when James walked into the great hall with no eyebrows because he thought he could shave a slit into them?” When he felt her nod as a sign she was listening he continued the story.
“The rest of us were busy laughing but all you did was pull him outside the great hall and you gave him the hair growth potion Slughorn had taught us and hugged him before walking in like nothing had happened. That was when I knew that you were one of the kindest people I had ever met” He felt her snuggle into his chest and sniffle.
“I didn’t know that you saw me do that, I thought you guys were busy laughing. I just wanted James to feel better I would’ve done the same thing if it had been any of you, you know that right?” she spoke into his chest.
“I know love, are you sure you wanna stay behind, I will stay with you but I want you to know that even if you decide to go I know that the boys have been dying to talk to you about our new idea for a prank” he smiled down at her.
Her heart swelled at the idea of the three boys waiting for her with excitement. She nods slowly and gets off of his bed. “I-I think I’d like to go, w-would you mind giving me a minute to change and we can be on our way?” She smiled shyly.
He nods and smiles back and before he knows it Y/N leans forward and pecks his lips and scurries off not before saying “I guess that was your thank you for everything” Sirius stands in shock of what happened before grinning and touching his lips before running after her.
He picks her up with ease before carrying her to the marauders dorm. “Sirius!! Put me down! We have to go meet the boys!!” She shrieks and laughs. “Fuck them, you can’t just do that and think I’m not gonna make you mine” He kisses her neck with a smile before nuzzling her.
Safe to say they were over an hour late and walked into the leaky cauldron with their hands intertwined meeting the gazes of their shocked friends.
#remus lupin#james potter#sirius black x reader#sirius black angst#marauders#harry potter#marauders angst#juliwrites
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Gamer Etiquette
Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N
Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader
Genre: SMAU, Written Elements, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU
Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.
But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.
Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.
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Chapter 4 (b): Guilt
Word Count: 2659
To be honest, Kenma is doing this entirely out of guilt.
Sure it isn’t technically his fault that people have no self control and don’t know how to mind their own business, but his fans were probably the main root of the problem. So he felt some sort of responsibility towards her, regardless that they’d never met before today.
“Are you loaded in yet?” He waits a few seconds, almost impatiently so, his eyebrows slowly raising as he waits even longer. “Y/N?”
A soft sound of movement, a throat clearing, “Sorry, what?”
Kenma sighs, “Are you loaded into the game yet?”
“Oh- yeah. I mean almost, my wifi’s being weird.” She laughs then and it’s so painfully forced that Kenma physically feels himself cringe. He has to give the girl props though, she’s doing a lot better acting excited than he is despite the fact that she seems more nervous.
He’d only asked for her discord on complete impulse, not really considering what would happen if she agreed until it was too late. Don’t get him wrong though, he isn’t upset about it; finding new people to play his favorite games with is always enjoyable for Kenma.
But he also isn’t looking forward to this being any more awkward than it already is.
“Are you on the server already?”
Kenma shakes his head, “No, I’m waiting for you to be ready so I can start streaming.”
“Oh,” she says and Kenma only then realizes that he’s been treating her like he treats everyone else, even though they know essentially nothing about each other. “Sorry, I’ll be done as soon-.”
“Don’t worry about it.” And now he’s interrupting her; great first impression, Kenma. “I’m trying to finish eating right now anyways.”
She doesn’t say anything for a moment and then, almost out of nowhere, “What are you eating?”
Funny thing about that though is that he’s not.
“Ummmmm-,” he trails off, desperately searching his brain for some sort of response. “Apple pie,” he finally manages to say.
“Wait really?” Y/N suddenly sounds much more genuine than she had mere seconds ago.
Kenma hums in confirmation, head nodding even though he’s currently lying straight through his teeth.
Why? Who knows. Kenma definitely doesn’t.
“I had apple pie too,” she goes on to explain. “Literally like ten minutes before I turned on my PC.”
Kenma isn’t actually eating any apple pie right now, so it’s not as much of the insane coincidence that Y/N seems to think it is. But it is one of his favorite desserts, so he did have some fairly recently enough for it to be considered at least a bit strange.
“You’re kidding,” he tries to match her enthusiasm.
“Do I look like the type of girl to joke about something as serious as apple pie?” She’s teasing him now but his mind is slow to pick up on it, unintentionally leaving her in awkward silence as he processes her words.
“I don’t know,” he drags out the last syllable. “You sound like someone who would.” Kenma has never actually seen what Y/N looks like - and sure he might be comfortable lying to her about eating apple pie - but joking about her appearance without even properly seeing it first seems like a line he shouldn’t cross.
She scoffs then and Kenma can almost picture the exact face she pulls in the process, having frequently seen the same expression on his own roommate’s. “I have literally never been so offended in my entire life.”
Kenma subconsciously shrugs, “I have to keep everyone humble somehow, you know.”
~~~
“I got some stone,” Kenma tells Y/N as he runs over to drop a Stone Pickaxe in front of her. Although, this time he does it close enough to ensure that she doesn’t have to move to pick it up.
“Oh thanks,” Y/N herself is busy collecting wood, but she’s definitely mining more than she really needs at the moment.
“I know I explained this a bit earlier but we wanted to stream together just to clear some stuff up,” Kenma says when he notices how confused everyone still is in his chat. “Like how we actually don’t know each other. Right Y/N?”
Y/N’s character suddenly turns to him in game, mimicking a head nod. “Yeah, I have no idea who this guy is. What’s your name again? Kenny?” Kenma admits that he has to stifle a laugh as she starts running around him in circles. “Well I guess I wouldn’t know because I don’t know you.”
Kenma rolls his eyes, “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” she easily agrees. “Just like how we didn’t know each other during that game, I also totally didn’t mean to kill you either.”
“Oh yeah definitely not,” Kenma nods, looking over at his chat for a brief second as Y/N stops before a random oak tree to start collecting even more wood.
Why is y/n mining so much wood???? 😭 😭
y/n’s skin is so cutteeee
I love how Kenma’s just watching her run around lol
But Kenma’s attention is suddenly brought back to the game when he hears the sound of something being attacked, only to see his health two and a half hearts lower and Y/N standing suspiciously far away from him.
“What did you just do?”
“Huh? What?” She plays innocent almost too well. “What do you mean?”
“I’m beginning to think you killed me on purpose,” he teases as he starts making his way towards a cave he spots in the ground.
She gasps, as though she genuinely feels betrayed by his words. “Of course I didn’t mean to, I would never do something like that.”
He nods as he enters the cave, immediately running towards a vein of coal embedded into the wall. “Oh right of course. Because I totally didn’t see you aiming that fireball at me or anything the other day.” He shakes his head light heartedly as he begins collecting the coal with his own stone pickaxe.
“See I’m glad you agree with me, Kenma,” Y/N joins his side in the cave, mining the stone beside him before placing down a crafting table.
His head subconsciously tilts, “I thought you didn’t know my name.”
Kenma watches as she places a furnace next to the crafting table, “That was before.”
“Before what?” He opens the furnace when he sees it light up, his curiosity satisfied when he realizes that she’s cooking some Porkchops.
“Before I knew it. Obviously.”
“Oh duh,” Kenma makes a show of facepalming, adjusting his hand just enough to look into the lens of his camera. “Should’ve known. How could I be so dumb?”
“You tell me,” she says nonchalantly. “Isn’t that like your forte?”
Kenma pauses at her words, shifting his gaze back to his monitor as he uses his mouse to slowly turn and look at her. “What?”
“What?”
LMAOOOOO
y/n has no chill lol
STOP CUS I LOVE HER
“Did you just call me dumb?” He’s definitely hearing things, because there’s no way that the girl who was fake laughing twenty minutes ago is now teasing him like they’d been friends for years.
“What- no- I would never- I mean-,” she’s stuttering practically on purpose at this point. “Oh, iron!”
Kenma turns his character in the direction that Y/N is looking towards, eyes squinting as he leans forward in his seat to try and spot it.
And then he hears her giggle.
“Ha! Made you look!”
He sighs, rolling his eyes half-heartedly as he leans back against his chair. “You’re literally a child.”
Y/N manages to stop laughing for only a brief second, “I can’t believe you-,” her voice suddenly breaks off with a gasp as she tries to catch her breath. “Fell for it,” she’s barely even able to finish the rest of her sentence, too busy practically cackling.
Kenma finds himself chuckling along with her, even though she’s entirely making fun of him right now. But he doesn’t care, not even a little bit.
Because for the first time since they’ve met, the interaction feels real.
~~~
An hour later, Kenma’s stuck in a cave and Y/N is doing who even knows what on the surface, when his roommate walks into the room.
Y/N is in the middle of telling some elaborate story about the first time she ever played minecraft when Kenma hears his door open. He doesn’t really react at first, only glancing at his viewfinder to confirm that Kuroo’s walking into the room.
“And then-,” she abruptly stops. “Did I just hear a door open?”
Kenma would have thought that his microphone (or even discord for that matter) wouldn’t be able to pick up such a soft noise. He’s been proven wrong a lot today though.
“Yeah sorry,” he confirms as he turns to actually look at the person now entering the room. “It’s my roommate, just give me one second.” Kenma mutes himself in discord but keeps his stream’s audio on, trying not to censor Kuroo as much as he wants to. He then just decides to leave the world, knowing there’s really no way to pause an online game.
“You? Apologizing? Since when,” the older man snorts.
Kenma closes his eyes with a sigh, “Shut the fuck up.”
“That was unnecessarily harsh.”
The streamer adjusts in his seat, turning in his chair to face his roommate. “I’m still streaming, what do you want?”
His best friend frowns, “I’m bored and being swarmed by cats out there.”
“Did you get in the catnip again?” He briefly gets distracted by the sound of Y/N saying something in his headset, but isn’t able to understand anything she’s actually saying because Kuroo is speaking at the exact same time.
“It was only like this much!” He makes a small gesture with his fingers to further prove his point.
Kenma stares at the distance between his pointer finger and thumb for an unnervingly long amount of time. “Only that much huh?”
Kuroo suddenly hides his hand behind his back, “Hey don’t look at my fingers like that, you perv.”
“It’s not my fault you just happened to measure the exact length of your di-.”
“AHHH!”
Kenma flinches as he’s cut off by a blood curdling scream, his pulse skyrocketing as he frantically turns back to the game.
He somehow manages to unmute himself, his fingers clumsily controlling the mouse to log back into the world. “Holy shit are you okay?”
“Fuck- yeah sorry!” Y/N is still being loud but it’s nothing compared to the way she’d yelled only a second ago. “Jesus, I’m so sorry; that scared me so bad.”
Kenma feels himself relax against his chair, mentally sighing as he glances back at Kuroo with a clear expression of relief. “She’s good?”
“Yeah,” he nods, swallowing unsteadily. “Fuck, did you hear her?”
“Are you kidding? I think the whole street heard her,” he jokes and Kenma can’t help but smile. Leave it to his best friend to be able to relieve such a massive amount of tension with one simple sentence.
“Your roommate heard me?” Her voice practically exudes embarrassment.
He chuckles, “Yeah, I think you both gave us a heart attack.”
“Oh no,” she groans. “I’m seriously so sorry.”
“What even happened?” (Translation: what the fuck made you react like that?)
“I was just focused on building a house and then a bird or something - I don’t even know what it was - slammed against my window.” She pauses and Kenma can hear her release a deep breath. “It scared the absolute shit out of me.”
“Okay I guess that’s fair.” He feels something tap against his shoulder and turns to look at Kuroo’s questioning expression. “A bird hit her window,” Kenma elaborates for him.
His roommate suddenly laughs, “I think chat was more worried than we are.”
Oh noooooo
Poor Y/N 😥
She needs therapy after that 💀
“They like her more than both of us combined,” Kenma confirms.
Y/N makes a disapproving noise, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Here wait,” Kenma says to pretty much no one as he grabs his headphone splitter and the second headset he always has on hand. After plugging everything in, he adjusts his microphone and wheels in another chair so that both men will be able to talk to her. “Okay, my roommate can hear you now by the way, Y/N.”
“Oh. Hi there roommate!”
Kenma frowns as he turns back around in game to start heading for the surface, “Why didn’t you sound that chipper earlier?”
Y/N doesn’t get a chance to respond before Kuroo does for her. “Because I’m better than you.”
Complete silence.
“You’re not even going to try to deny it huh?” He shakes his head, still trying to find his way through the maze of a cave he’d somehow managed to trap himself in.
“I don’t know; I’d feel mean if I did,” she responds without an ounce of hesitation.
“Yeah why are you forcing her to do stuff, Kenma,” Kuroo suddenly chimes in with a teasing tone.
“Fuck you Kuro. No one asked you.”
Kuroo reels back in his chair, as though Kenma had physically slapped him in the face. “Um wow okay. I can really feel the lo-.”
“Finally,” Kenma (accidentally) interrupts as he sees sunlight shining down into the cave. “I’m coming up by the way.”
“Wait, already?” Y/N sounds strangely panicked.
Kenma nods slowly even though she can’t see him. “Why,” he can’t help but feel suspicious now after her reaction.
“I haven’t finished building yet.”
He begins towering his way out of the hole, “I’m sure it’s not that ba-.” He suddenly stops as he sees a building in the distance.
“I’m sorry, you said you aren’t done?” His roommate says beside him, basically voicing Kenma's exact thoughts as he sprints towards the house.
“What the actual fuck this is amazing.” Kenma marvels as he opens what he can only assume is the front door. “How did you do this in two hours?”
Her character suddenly runs over, crouching in front of him and dropping something on the ground. “I might not be super amazing at PVP, but I’ve been building since I was in elementary school.” Kenma scoots forward to pick up the item, his eyebrows furrowing when he realizes it’s a bed.
“What’s this for?”
“I wasn’t sure which room you’d want so I just decided I’d let you pick,” she explains.
Kuroo nudges Kenma's shoulder with his own, “That was really nice of her. Right kenma?”
But he's strangely at a loss for words because he just can’t get over the fact that, “She made it red.” His head tilts, “Why’d you make it red?”
“Oh,” she seems surprised by the question. “I don’t really know. I just thought it suited you, I guess.”
“Hm,” he hums in acknowledgement, making his way over to the first room he sees and placing it beside the purple bed already placed against the wall. “Why don’t we just have the same bedroom?”
“Ooohh,” Kuroo drags out. (Kenma had completely forgotten he was there.) “Putting your bed next to her’s huh?”
Apparently they both decide that it’s better to ignore him this time because all Y/N says is, “Why would we share a bedroom?”
Kenma blinks, he thought the reason was obvious. “So then we have more room for other stuff in the house instead of constantly needing to build for more space.”
“Oh. Okay yeah that makes sense.”
His best friend suddenly reaches over to press his mute key for discord, “Kenma’s got moves guys.”
“Shut up.”
~~~
Kenma enjoys streaming with her that night. He really, really does.
But again, he’s doing this out of guilt.
Or at least that’s what he tells himself when he ends up messaging her again that very next day.
Taglist: @crazy-people-are-here, @existential-traveller, @peachesncats, @royalz658, @musicluverr
Any names in bold are unable to be tagged.
#kenma x reader#kozume kenma#kenma x y/n#kenma smau#kenma kozume#kodzuken#haikyuu smau#smau#smau series#gaming#fanfiction#minecraft#kenma fanfic#haikyuu x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyū!!#haikyuu x female reader#kenma x female reader#fanfic#content creator#romance smau#streaming#youtuber au#haikyuu au#kodzuken x reader#hq kenma#kenma imagines#kozume x reader#social media#alternate universe
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THE WAY THINGS GO
pairing: jean kirstein x female reader
description: when your best friend jean finally got the girl of his dreams, your friendship soon faded into oblivion. as you reflect on what could’ve been, you figured it’s just the way things go.
word count: 2.1k
also available to read on my ao3 here
author’s note: fear not, people, i have returned to writing for my man. i believe the last thing i wrote for jean was my love mine all mine, and i’m sorry for neglecting him for so long! i didn’t want my account to just be a jean account and really wanted to be able to have people come to my blog for other characters, so i hyper focused on literally anyone else but him for AWHILE. but now i’m back for my man. also trying something i’ve seen other blogs do and have a couple songs that fit the one shot linked below, so if you enjoy that, please tell me because i would love to keep it going! and big thanks to @intorder for beta reading. love you twin 🫶
soundtrack: the way things go, promise
tags: @toorubobatea @intorder @femme-lune @jeanboyjean @cowgirlikets @okkoiktoru @todorokiskitten
taglist form here
all you ever wanted was for jean to be happy. even when it destroyed you inside as you aided him in his quest to woo mikasa ackerman, you figured that if it made him happy, then that’s all that should matter.
there was no point in dwelling about your pathetic feelings, he only ever saw you as a friend for all these years. you’d rather be friends than not be in his life at all, but when jean finally succeeded in his years long mission for the girl of his dreams, you didn’t think it would mean your friendship would fade with time. it hurt to simply just be friends, but it hurt even worse when it all turned into being nothing.
you found yourself pulling away from your mutual friends as a result, which hurt just as much as losing your best friend. you knew they would stick with him before they’d ever stick with you. they’d known him longer, after all. you felt as if you had to completely reinvent your life in the wake of jean’s absence. as much as you told yourself that change was okay and that you were happy with it, you continued to be haunted by the what if’s and what could’ve been.
there were always times where you thought about telling jean the truth before he finally landed a girlfriend, but the thought of rejection and losing him as a result plagued you to the very core. turns out there was no need to worry as he disappeared from your life anyway. sometimes you wondered if he ever thought about you. you knew you thought about jean plenty, but you had always placed him on the highest pedestal in the past.
his name felt foreign on your tongue now. whenever one of your friends brought jean up these days, you couldn’t find yourself able to say his name. you couldn’t even remember how to pronounce his last name. maybe it wouldn’t be this way had he thrown your friendship away, you liked to think.
you loved the scenario of jean showing up at your door one day and apologizing for everything, but that was merely a silly hope in your brain for a while. as the time spent without him in your life grew larger, you thought about such a preposterous idea less and less. with time, jean began to feel like a distant memory, and the pain hurt a little less.
your life became easier when you didn’t think about him. you found it funny how much lighter you felt when you didn’t feel the weight of unrequited love on your shoulders. you used to think of it as the size of a chip, but when you came to your senses, you realized you had been carrying a boulder. god knows how you managed to do it for so long.
it felt weird trying to pursue other men. you were thankful to have supportive friends who wanted the best for you, but didn’t want to push you too much if you weren’t ready for anything. regardless of that, you knew the only way you could be remotely ready is if you dove in head first. if you dipped your toes in the pool, you knew you’d shy away and run off. diving straight underwater felt easier.
even if you gave the dating scene a try, it wasn’t perfect, but at least you were living your life without the shackles of your feelings for jean chained to your ankles. besides, you had new stories to laugh about with your friends rather than you down in the dumps during your times with your girl friends. you were unrecognizable now, inside and out.
walking past certain places didn’t phase you like they used to. although, you find it funny now when you look back on how much strength it took for you to return to your favorite coffee shop. after depriving yourself of it for so long, you almost forgot how delicious it tasted, so at least there was that to be thankful for.
despite all the progress you’ve made, it turned out to be as easy as flicking a light switch to feel like your old self sometimes. from certain songs to inside jokes only you’d understand, it was quick for all those memories to come rushing back. but those reminders only helped you remember why you were in the position you were now.
however, one night on your way to the bus stop, you froze when you saw what looked like a familiar figure across the road. you stared at him for what felt like forever to figure out if it was exactly who you were thinking of, but when he walked across the crosswalk, it turned out to just be a random person. you were thankful it wasn’t actually jean. you wouldn’t know what to say to him after all this time anyway.
you quickly shook it off before continuing your walk. you wouldn’t let a stranger who happened to slightly resemble jean bother you that much. it would be silly after all this time. he shouldn’t matter to you anymore.
you sat down on the bench waiting for your bus to arrive. the wait felt like torture this time for some reason, and you couldn’t figure out why. it was the same bus stop you always waited at, around the same time each day you got off work, so why did this new feeling brew up inside of you?
“y/n?” oh. there’s why.
“jean.” you manage to speak, a lump you can’t seem to swallow forming in your throat.
there he stood. he looked just the same as when you last saw him. it wasn’t a surprise he kept up with the mullet look after all this time. it was your idea, actually. you told him girls liked it more when guys had hair that wasn’t too short or too long, just long enough to run their fingers through. it was a miracle he listened, really. you didn’t think the hairstyle change could make him look any more heavenly, but it did that times a million.
you find yourself unable to say anything else. do you ask how he is? is he still with mikasa? any wild changes in his life? there was so much you could say, but so much you couldn’t. there was no right way to go about it.
“it’s been a while, huh?” jean questioned, forcing a chuckle as he scratched the back of his neck. six months, three weeks, and five days, to be exact. you were so close to reaching that seven month mark. curse him for popping back up like this.
“indeed.” you reply as you look away. if you looked into his eyes for even a second, you swore you’d fold over. why did you still feel like this after all this time?
“how are you?” he asked. jean noticed you were avoiding his gaze. he knew it was his fault things were this way. “i won’t bite or anything, you know. horse bites hurt worse than stepping on a lego.”
you can’t help but laugh. curse him. that was funny, you have to give him that. you look up and see jean smiling, unbeknownst to you from the sound of your giggles. maybe it wouldn’t be that bad to have a quick catch up before your bus arrives.
“doing pretty good.” you say, shockingly not a total lie. past you would’ve said you were fine while screaming your head off on the inside. now, it was mostly calm and quiet in your mind.
“how’s mikasa?” you ask him. even if you felt good on the inside, you couldn’t help but address the elephant in the room. you had to know. otherwise, you’d still wonder from time to time.
“oh, um…” jean stumbled over his words. you raise an eyebrow. “we broke up. she kinda… dumped me.”
oh. dare you say victory? no, no. that was wrong. you can’t find the slightest bit of joy in this. you did want jean to be happy, even when it used to turn you inside out over and over. but back then you always had that borderline sinister part of you that wished he’d fumble. now it seemed like he did, but you had to know why.
“why’s that?” you question. “i thought it would’ve finally worked out.”
“i was pretty much just a placeholder.” he shrugged. “she didn’t really like, like me.”
you knew exactly what he meant. “eren?”
“yeah.” jean let out a sigh.
it was no secret mikasa was practically obsessed with eren since they were kids. everyone that knew her long enough thought she had grown out of it, especially since she got with jean, but now you know that wasn’t the case. she was simply waiting for eren to come to his senses.
you always waited for jean to come to his senses, but is that wait even worth it? is it worth finally getting what you want in the end despite all that turmoil? you wonder if mikasa finally felt that satisfaction you used to crave, or did she end up feeling a little dead inside after all that waiting? you realize now it’s not worth waiting for someone to realize you’re worth loving despite being there right in front of them for so long. you knew better now.
“well, i guess that’s just the way things go.” you look away. life had its way of being a comedian, you thought, but that’s okay. everything seems to happen for a reason.
“yeah, guess so.” jean frowned. seeing you now, he had finally come to his senses, but he was far too late. now jean would be willing to just be your friend again if it meant you were simply there. funny how things change.
“well.” you shrug, looking away as you spotted your bus down the road at a stoplight. just one more minute, you hoped. “my bus is about to show up.”
as the engine of your bus roared towards your stop, jean desperately tried to get one last word out of you while you were collecting your things. “wait!”
“hm?” you sling your bag over your shoulder. you weren’t sure what he could possibly say, but you hoped it was a goodbye. who knows if you’ll ever see jean again? as harsh as it seemed, you didn’t know if you wanted this to reoccur, if you were being completely honest.
“i just…” he paused. “maybe we could grab some coffee—”
“no.” you interrupt him. past you would have never cut him off like this, but you were that girl anymore. you felt pretty satisfied now, no more what if’s haunting you. this felt like good closure to your former self, a person you never ever wanted to revisit. you hated who you were back then.
“it’s a really bad idea if we do that.” you say as jean couldn’t seem to find any words to say right away after you shut him down with a no so quickly.
“yeah, i get it.” jean sighed. he knew he had countless chances, all run dry a long time ago.
finally, your bus was here. there was nothing else to say other than goodbye now. you didn’t feel any regrets anymore. if this were the last time you ever saw jean, you didn’t think you’d be all to upset about it. even if you never truly confessed to jean how you used to feel, there was no point now. you didn’t need to. besides, you assumed someone had to have told him anyway. you guessed that’s the only reason why he tried asking you out for coffee, knowing how much you liked him. it was a good thing you didn’t feel the same anymore.
“bye, jean.” you say before stepping onto the bus. “it was nice catching up.”
“ditto.” he forced a smile. jean waved you goodbye, you waving through the window by your seat.
as much as it would be nice to try a friendship with jean again, you didn’t want to risk falling back into your old habits. you liked who you were now, and you don’t think jean fit that picture. if there were ever room for him, maybe you could try, but for now you were saying no.
you realize now that your world didn’t end the day jean faded out of your life, just like your world didn’t end the day you got an f on a test, or even the day your favorite band member left the group. it all seemed like the end-all, be-all back then, but now you know it was just the ways things go.
© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3
#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot#snk#attack on titan x reader#shingeki no kyojin x reader#aot x reader#snk x reader#attack on titan x female reader#shingeki no kyojin x female reader#aot x female reader#snk x female reader#jean kirstein x reader#jean x reader#jean kirstein x female reader#jean x female reader#jean kirstein#pluto writes 📝#gif divider by cafekitsune
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Heyy it's me again, lol. Ur criminal minds hcs for Reid were so good!! Thank u for blessing me. 🙌🏻 I was wondering if ud be down to write maybe a one-shot or a drabble of Reid comforting a reader (I almost wrote reider bc I spaced out and like akjsldj) who just had friends leave them when they thought they were really close? I hope that's not too specific!! Thank you sm for blessing the world with ur writing. It literally makes my day so much brighter whenever you post. 🥰
A/N: CUTE!! Reider would be a really cute fandom name for him ngl. Also I’ve fallen out of contact with friends that I thought were gonna be in it for the long run with me but unfortunately it just didn’t work out that way even if we didn’t fall out. ALSO specifics are great with me because then it’s clear what I need to write and what you want me to write so don’t apologize!! Can you tell I don’t know how to comfort anyone?
Tw: some cursing, some abandonment issues, mentions of bullying within the friend group. Isolation, ghosting. Lmk if there’s something I should tag!
Genre: angst, one shot, some fluff
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (can be read platonically or romantically in think. Also can be read as gender neutral maybe?) if I added pronouns or descriptors let me know!!
Wc:1.3k
Criminal Minds Masterlist
It’s strange when you break up with a friend, even more so when the reason that you breakup is something stupid, something avoidable. It hurts even more when you get abandoned, ghosted by someone you thought would be in your life for the rest of it. No one ever prepares you for friendships ending. You get prepared for romantic relationships, death, and maybe sometimes you drift apart from friends but even then you’re prepared.
You stare at the group chat that had defined your childhood and teenage years. Stare at the names followed by “has left the chat” with a feeling in your heart that is only rivaled by death of a loved one if you remembered correctly. It had been a while.
It was a petty argument that only lasted a day, something about how everyone treated you. You regretted bringing it up on the first day that you had been ignored after sending a message. That day turned into a week which turned into them all leaving the group chat without telling you which hurt more than being kicked out of it. Did you really mean that little that they would ghost you that easily?
You never started arguments usually. You never even participated in them, trying to stay neutral in order to keep everyone happy. Always passive and agreeable and everyone liked you that way. The one time you have something to get off your chest…maybe you shouldn’t have said anything.
You tried to message one of your friends first, you hadn’t known her as long as some of the others in the group, but she was always sweet and didn’t seem like the type to ghost.
You 5:43 pm: Irene what happened? I saw you all left the group chat. Is something wrong?
You don’t get an answer back for an hour. And it makes your heart squeeze in your chest. It isn’t really an answer, but at the same time it answered both of your questions. To her you didn’t really matter all that much and something was really wrong.
Irene 7:01 pm: just leave me alone. You said what you needed to say, if you message me again I’ll block you.
You try again with a different friend. One you have known a little longer. One who had complained to you and confided in you and one that you thought you were close to than this.
He doesn’t answer at all, and neither do the other two that you message. Eventually you figure out that your messages never sent because you had been blocked. Going to their instagrams and twitters, everything is gone as soon as you click on them. Even their TikTok’s have nothing for you to look at.
Soon enough you’re fighting off tears, your chest tight and your stomach swirling. Was speaking up for yourself really worth this? Your head spins and your vision becomes blurry as you click on the last contact that’s available to you.
Your best friend. Having known her for the longest time out of all of them, you’d think she’d say something before doing something like this. You two met in elementary school, and were friends before the group got together. If you think about it more your friendship reminded you of the one in Jennifer’s Body. Except instead of saving everyone, you were being ignored and abandoned by the person you thought was going to be there even if everyone else wouldn’t. The person that you thought you could rely on.
But before you could message her, one came straight to you. The bubbles popping up as she’s typing something else. You can’t really understand the first paragraph, your mind to overwhelmed by the weeks events to be able to read.
Emilie 7:42 pm: I just wanted to message you before you tried anything with me. I’m honestly not interested in talking to you anymore after how you talked to me and my friends. None of us want you in the group anymore, and honestly it’s fucking pathetic that you’re reaching out and asking if anything is wrong when you’re the reason everyone was upset in the first place. Like you said we were shit friends, and now you wanna act like everything confuses you? If we were so shitty to you, why do you want us to still talk to you? I told Jacob, Josh, Irene, and Paisley to block you if you message them because honestly they don’t need you to try to beg and plead with them. You’re toxic and we’re done with you. Honestly, you look pathetic and desperate for attention messaging all of us like this. I’m not even gonna bother blocking you because it doesn’t really matter that much to me and maybe in the future I could be open to being friends again but for right now, I’m over it. Bye. You should do better.
Now the tears fall down your face, hot and burning as they trail down your cheeks and onto the screen of your phone. Going onto instagram to doom scroll your feelings away, you are immediately met with a photo of your friend group hanging out without you. Taken aback, you try to bring yourself to unfollow Emilie, to block her and effectively cut her out of your life while your wounds are fresh and your friendship is newly ended so you don’t have to torture yourself. But that’s exactly what you do, torture yourself. Instead of unfollowing her, deleting all of the pictures of her and your friend group from your feed, you scroll through them, the tears falling faster the longer you sit there and reminisce. You don’t even hear the front door open and close, and the only reason you know it did is because of the weight that causes you to lean towards the new person in the bed. Warmth blankets around you, the feeling of arms wrapped around your body brings you out of your mind.
Turning to look at the man next to you, you see that Spencer is looking at you as if you’re a wounded animal and it makes you burst out into tears. Maybe you really did look pathetic. “Oh no…what happened?”
You tried to explain, but couldn’t properly while you were blubbering. Instead you just throw your phone to him and let your head fall into your hands. He takes a literal second to read, then lets out a gust of air that usually meant he was surprised and didn’t know what to say.
He moves to hug you again, resting his head on top of yours. “You know…they say that it takes 200 hours to form a close friendship with someone. And when that friendship ends unexpectedly, it can cause a multitude of issues in the future with how you trust and open up to people…”
His ramblings weren’t all that comforting, but just hearing him speak made you start to feel better. Of course he would attempt to make things better by spouting facts that one hundred percent would make anyone else annoyed at him. You snuggle into his arms, nodding your head to show that you’re listening in between sobs. “S-so how long until I s-stop feeling like my h-heart is broken?” You ask. It did somehow feel like being broken up with, or having someone die.
“Well, most grief experts think that a year is a good estimate on how long it takes to get used to the loss of someone major in your life…”
“A year?” You whine, letting your head tilt backwards dramatically. “That’s too long!” It’s kind of a joke, the way you say it. But the way he looks at you lets you know that he knows you’re being somewhat serious.
“She was your best friend…of course it’s going to take some time to get used to not talking to her…however long you take to grieve is how long it’s going to take. It’s not a complete science.”
You nod, and hide your face in his chest. While you still felt like the Earth was ending, maybe it’s not ending right this second anymore.
#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds oneshot#criminal minds headcanons#cm x reader#cm spencer reid#cm#cm headcanon#cm Oneshots#criminal minds angst#cm angst#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid angst
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Constant Repeat | Part 5
Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 20.2k
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.
A/N: Currently not able to stay still because this is one of my favorite chapters and it's been one I have been excited to share ever since I finished writing it. So since imagine-that-100 and I are posting part 4 of Chicken Shop Date next week, I thought I would bring this chapter forward a week hehe, though this means you'll have to wait a week longer for the next one since I'll stick to posting it on the original date it was supposed to which is April 7th. But right now, I truly cannot wait to see your reactions to this one. I have a feeling you might yell at me lolll. Enjoy!!! xx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |
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(17/09/11 10:28) Congrats on the suck it and see video, compliments the song brilliantly.
(17/09/11 10:31) Thank you for that and for helping us with it x
(17/09/11 10:39) Nothing to thank, that's my literal job Al hahaha
(17/09/11 10:40) Hahaha that's true. Well then thanks for making it such a great time for us.
(17/09/11 10:44) My pleasure :) Send my love to everyone over there, I hope tour is going smoothly x
(17/09/11 10:44) Will do x And it is! Kinda wish you were here to see the madness x
(17/09/11 10:45) We better hope America treats you just as well next time you come, I'll definitely be there :) x
•••
(27/10/11 13:16) I'm so glad Helders had the idea of going to Vegas and filming it.
(27/10/11 13:18) It was quite a lovely time, congrats on the music video Al!
(27/10/11 13:18) Even though most of it is just Bre and Matt, I'm happy to see that day after all this time x
(27/10/11 13:20) C'mon Turner, it's only been a couple months x
(27/10/11 13:21) Fair enough but, don't tell this to anyone, I miss America quite a bit.
(27/10/11 13:27) Any particular reasons?
(27/10/11 13:29) A couple come to mind...
(27/10/11 13:33) Any with first and last names?
(27/10/11 13:33) Are you trying to trick me into saying something?
(27/10/11 13:34) Maybe...
(27/10/11 13:48) I do miss you Ellie xx
(27/10/11 13:49) Well, that's good to hear xx
(27/10/11 13:49) I miss you following me around with your camera on my face x
(27/10/11 13:50) Anyone would think I'm a crazy pap from that sentence alone.
(27/10/11 13:50) Aren't you? x
(27/10/11 13:52) Alright Turner, I'm not saying i miss you too then.
(27/10/11 13:56) I joke, I joke x
(27/10/11 13:57) Hahaha I know, I do miss you xx
(27/10/11 14:02) Well, that's good to hear xx
•••
(05/11/11 02:22) Helders got a new film camera!
(05/11/11 02:22) No way?! Show me!!!
(05/11/11 02:24) *picture of Matt holding a Leica M6 to his face squinting his left eye*
(05/11/11 02:25) I'm so jealous! A Leica M6?! She's stunning!!!
(05/11/11 02:26) He's also been pestering me for your phone number, he might've stolen it from my contact book already.
(05/11/11 02:28) He did and texted me last night. Remind me again why you don't have a password? He's going to be the death of me.
(05/11/11 02:29) You said you missed the lads the other day, and I delivered the message. You didn't expect it to be that easy to escape him, did you?
(05/11/11 02:30) This is what I get for being a caring friend.
(05/11/11 02:31) It has its cons x
(05/11/11 02:46) It wasn't only Helders breaking into your phone, by the way.
(05/11/11 02:49) What do you mean?
(05/11/11 02:49) Nick and Jamie texted me earlier too hahaha
(05/11/11 02:49) Sorry? x
(05/11/11 02:50) Don't! I suppose you're gonna have a little rest from me now that I have more people to annoy x
(05/11/11 02:51) You're never annoying Ellie x
(05/11/11 02:51) I find that hard to believe x
(05/11/11 02:53) You really aren't x I actually think if you stop sending me your weekly film reviews and song recommendations I might go in a weird type of withdrawal xx
(05/11/11 02:53) I'll keep them coming for you then ;)
(05/11/11 02:54) I really hope you do xx
•••
(24/12/11 16:12) Just double checked and since it's already the 25th where you are, Merry Christmas Alex!!!
(24/12/11 16:17) Thank you Ellie, merry christmas to you too xx
(24/12/11 16:18) I hope Sinatra is playing on repeat all day today x
(24/12/11 16:21) You know he is. It's snowing later today as well, will send you pictures xx
(24/12/11 16:23) You're gonna make me miss home, I haven't had a white christmas in a while now :((
(24/12/11 16:24) We should do a video call then, make some hot chocolate and pretend you're here x
(24/12/11 16:25) Sounds lovely to me x See you later then, Al :)
(24/12/11 16:26) See ya Ellie xx
•••
(31/12/11 15:09) It feels weird having Bre here but not you, the group feels incomplete xx
(31/12/11 15:09) So sorry I said no, I had already planned on spending this one in Tennessee. And I would rather eat a cup of dirt than have you pay for my whole holiday in the uk!
(31/12/11 15:10) You don't have to be sorry, I know you missed your family x And you stubborn woman! Will you ever let me pay for anything for you without having to physically distract you when it comes to it?
(31/12/11 15:12) Never ;))) But you'll be pleased to know I have started saving up for my own trip, just give me some months and I'll be on your side of the pond x
(31/12/11 15:13) Can't wait to see how poorly you do in the cold once again, I'll have my coats ready for you to steal xx
(31/12/11 15:15) You're mean!
(31/12/11 15:16) I'm actually very kind, i'll be letting you take them all xx
(31/12/11 15:17) I think whatever you're having is getting to you already, go enjoy the party for me Turner! (I'm there in spirit x).
(31/12/11 15:17) I'm the most sober in here right now. Nick's pissed already and Matt is following very closely behind. (I can weirdly feel your presence in the room xx).
(31/12/11 15:18) Oh I would pay to see that!!
(31/12/11 15:18) Well lucky for you I won't charge you for the following videos x *video of Nick and Matt messily racing to chug down a pint of beer, video of Nick and Matt singing karaoke*
(31/12/11 15:19) You've just made my entire year with that HAHAHA
(31/12/11 15:22) Glad to hear it x
(31/12/11 16:00) Happy New Year from my side of the pond, Ellie xxxx
(31/12/11 16:03) Happy New Year Al xxxx Feels weird saying that at four in the afternoon haha
(31/12/11 16:04) Haha, time zones are mental, aren't they? Let me know when it's 2012 for you too xx
(01/01/2012 00:00) Happy New Year!!!! We just caught up to you hahah xx
(01/01/2012 00:00) Thank you, darling x How's it going with your family? xx
(01/01/2012 00:01) Absolutely insane but I had missed the madness that it was to spend the holidays with them :') Thinking about how crazy it would be if y'all were here to celebrate with us xx
(01/01/2012 00:04) Let's hope for 2013 xx
(01/01/2012 00:05) Yeah let's hope for that xx What about you? Starting the year with a hangover?
(01/01/2012 00:09) Thankfully no, but with a headache from inspiration and too much to write x
(01/01/2012 00:10) Don't stress yourself too much, it's always a perfect record x
(01/01/2012 00:11) Now you're just being nice x
(01/01/2012 00:12) Stop it, you know how good you are! I also have a feeling this one is gonna make history all around the world xx
(01/01/2012 00:15) We shall see about that xx
•••
(05/01/2012 12:21) I love how you regretted flipping the camera off and tried to cover it up with a peace sign.
(05/01/2012 12:34) I'm confused...
(05/01/2012 12:35) Black treacle just came out! Fill me in on Bre and Matt's fight after it.
(05/01/2012 12:36) You're still after Bre, I see x
(05/01/2012 12:38) Well if Matt fucks up then I need to be a good friend, don't I? x
(05/01/2012 12:39) Oh you think you're slick x
(05/01/2012 12:39) I'm smoother than you, that's for sure x
(05/01/2012 12:39) Hey what's that meant to mean?!
(05/01/2012 12:40) Hahaha nothing Turner, it means nothing.
(05/01/2012 12:41) How about I give you something? xx
(05/01/2012 12:41) And what would that be? xx
(05/01/2012 12:42) Remember how I promised you another music video? xx
Her jaw dropped at the same time her phone hit the kitchen counter, and in a delayed reaction she went to check if she'd cracked it but was relieved to see it intact. What the fuck?! was all that she could hear inside her brain, chanting to herself as she frantically opened her contact book to call Alex but, of course, the singer beat her to it. The room echoed with the ringing of his incoming call and she was quick to answer.
A loud "Are you serious?!" came out of her mouth like an instinct, not even giving him time to say hello.
His breathy laugh came through the speaker, "Do you think I'd be joking about that?"
She was screaming on the inside, her tummy fluttering as she thought about how the countdown to see him again would start right at that moment. "I don't– I just– When? Do Aaron and Ben know?"
He was lying on his settee, with his phone pressed to his ear and his ceiling was witnessing one of the brightest smiles he'd ever wore in his life. "I reckon our manager is getting in contact with them next monday, and possibly for the beginning of February. You know, we're doing a brief US west coast tour before we go back into the shadows to record the next one."
"Oh my god, really?! That's so soon!" Ella hadn't felt this much excitement since she got accepted in her first job in LA, everything felt light suddenly and she just couldn't wipe the smile off her face.
She's adorable, he thought with his cheeks aching. He could feel her happiness through the phone and she had this way of calming him down by just talking to him, that's why they had called each other so many times throughout the past months they hadn't seen each other.
"It is! And you're coming with..." Alex bit his lip trying especially hard to catch her reaction and when he got a tiny gasp, he freed his lip from his teeth and smirked, "Well, at least I was hoping you will– We, we were hoping you will." He cleared his throat, hoping the correction wasn't too noticeable.
Of course she noticed, her heart skipped a beat at that and her cheeks had warmed. Keep it cool, keep it cool, she reminded herself. "I would need to ask Ben and Aaron but I'd love to." She was giddy but then she realized what touring meant and her questions just came out in full force, "Wait... How many days would it be? Are we staying in hotels or just on the bus? We're not flying anywhere, are we? Who can I speak with from your team to pay for it?"
His chuckle was out before he could think of containing it, "It would just be a week of tour. No flying anywhere, no—we're moving on the tour bus like we did for Vegas. And as for the expenses you really don't have to worry, everything is paid for."
"But–"
He tutted, "No, Ella. I'll just let you pay for whatever you want to buy wherever we go but you're not paying for anything else if it's already covered."
She sighed feeling defeated but her excitement bubbled up again when she remembered what she had just accepted, "Oh I'm so excited!"
Alex decided to tease her and test the waters, "That eager to see me?"
She laughed at his advances, "Nope, just excited for the gigs and the free alcohol."
He laughed with her, "Glad to see where your loyalty lies."
Ella hummed and nodded, instantly feeling dumb when she saw her reaction reflected on the microwave realizing Alex was not seeing it. "And I'm glad you're understanding of my priorities."
"Talking about priorities, how come you're not at work? What have you been up to?" The thought of her casually picking up the phone at this time, when she'd normally pick up to whisper that she was at the office and that she'd have to keep whispering throughout the call, had been swirling around the back of his head and he was curious to know what had happened to change the situation.
She sighed, turning to rest her hips on the side of her kitchen counter and watching her guest bedroom door behind which her sister had been getting ready for almost twenty minutes. "Not much, just took the day off to pick my sister up from the airport."
He smiled at the news, thinking back to the many times Ella had mentioned her sister, the memories she shared with her and how many 'i miss her's he had heard after each anecdote. "Is she visiting?"
Her smile could be felt through the phone from the tone of her voice, and Alex couldn't help but count how many days it had been since he had witnessed that sight. "Yeah, she's staying for the week so I'm gonna show her every corner I love in LA."
A deep hum came from his side, "So she's getting a VIP Ella – Los Angeles tour..."
She let out a little chuckle, "Exactly that."
"Sort of jealous she gets one and I haven't gotten one yet."
With a smirk on her face Ella was quick to reply, "Well Mr. Rockstar, you haven't been here in a while and every time we've seen each other has been for filming."
He let out a breathy laugh that made her insides coat with warmth, "Fair enough. I'll be sure to get enough time in February to get a tour."
Her stomach flipped hearing him say he'd make time for her, even if it was just a joke she couldn't help the way it made her giddy and her cheeks light up. "Alright then...I'll give you a good discount, don't worry."
"You'll probably get a date before we even know of one, so I hope you have flexibility when it comes to changing reservation dates for those tours of yours." Alex kept the banter going, loving how most of the time her replies would surprise him and keep him thinking if she had really just said that.
"Of course I do! Mates rates, didn't you say it was?" She was about to continue when her guest bedroom door opened to reveal her sister all ready and putting her earrings on. "Speak of the devil... my lovely sister just finished getting ready so I'm gonna have to leave you Al, sorry." She sighed, sad that she had to cut the conversation short once again despite not being at work.
"Don't apologize Ellie, s'alright." His voice was soft and she hoped she could continue to listen to it for as long as life would allow her. "Hope you enjoy yourselves, send my regards to your sister."
She melted inside, her rational side yelling at her emotional counterpart that it was a simple thing to say and not something to swoon over but she was blind. Maybe that was his effect, pure blindness to everything else and only being able to see him. "Thanks Al, will tell her you said hi. Hope to hear from you soon."
"You definitely will," he promised, "Goodnight Ella."
Ella's eyes were on the ten in the morning sun coming through her windows and smiled to herself, "Goodnight Alex."
The room was filled with silence as she pressed the red button to end the call. A bright grin was set on her face with no intention to disappear, her cheeks were slightly pink but it was the tiny squeal that she accidentally let out that caused her older sister, Lily, to speak up.
"So you do have a crush!" Lily's index finger was pointing accusingly at Ella.
She turned her head so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash, "What?" She asked too defensive to make the situation seem casual.
Lily smirked at her, reading her face easily, "I was right, you do like him."
"Oh shut up, I do not." Ella's voice sounded annoyed but her sister knew that tone of hers, it was pure denial.
The older sister just sighed and rolled her eyes, "When are you ever gonna stop being so stubborn?"
"The day I die." Ella replied quickly and proceeded to grab her car keys from the counter and put her phone in the pocket of her jeans. "Let's go."
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Wednesday, the 8th of February had been the day Ben and Aaron had been informed the lads would touch down on American soil again and the day had rolled around fairly quickly.
It felt as if the countdown to the day of the band's arrival had been fast forwarded and for that she was grateful. She wasn't a fan of having to wake up early but she had woken up to a picture of the lads at the airport and several texts from all of them, and it made her grin like a mad woman as she got ready.
(08/02/2012 06:12) *picture of Matt flipping the camera off at the baggage claim area* Fair to say he's excited to see you.
(08/02/2012 06:26) Tell him I'm just as enthusiastic to see him, Cookie.
•••
(08/02/2012 06:20) My darling Ella, hope you're up and ready to see us. Alex said something about getting a tour from you...
(08/02/2012 06:27) Definitely up, and slowly getting ready. If there's one thing you should know, is that I need a good cup of coffee to properly function this early in the morning. And yes, I'm driving y'all and giving you a tour around LA.
(08/02/2012 06:28) Noted, gonna get you loads of coffee for the tour. Can't wait to see how poorly you drive xx
(08/02/2012 06:28) Alright O'Malley, rude.
•••
(08/02/2012 06:34) I bet you're celebrating I'm back in your land already.
(08/02/2012 06:35) You have the biggest head, has anyone told you that?
(08/02/2012 06:35) Been told something similar, if you know what I mean ;)
(08/02/2012 06:35) You're actually disgusting, Helders.
(08/02/2012 06:36) Yeah, yeah, you love me.
(08/02/2012 06:36) You certainly wish.
(08/02/2012 06:37) You're just in denial. We're about an hour away from the hotel by the way, you better be on your way missy x
(08/02/2012 06:38) I'm about to leave. Dreading seeing you though x
(08/02/2012 06:39) You keep telling yourself that x
•••
(08/02/2012 06:40) Can't wait to see you! We're an hour away xx
(08/02/2012 06:41) Give your friends a smack in the back of their heads for me please, haven't even seen you yet and I'm getting bullied already x
(08/02/2012 06:42) Will do. I'm guessing Helders gets double? x
(08/02/2012 06:43) Atta boy, you're so smart x I'm on my way, see you soon Al! x
To say she was giddy on the drive to their hotel was an understatement. Ella had been bouncing on her seat, not even minding having to sit in the traffic for longer than she would've liked to, singing her favorite songs a little bit louder than usual, with a bright grin permanently on her face throughout the whole drive.
She found a spot in the parking lot of the hotel quite easily and with a skip in her step, she made her way through the big window doors and into the lobby. The guys were all distracted on their phones, so many people were walking around the hotel lobby that the echo of her steps was lost in between the pattern.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Arctic Monkeys." Ella's voice was playful, a smirk on her face as she saw them turn their heads in her direction.
The four of them pocketed their phones and yelled her name, a little bit too loud for the hotel staff's liking. Ella was enveloped in a group hug and she swore she could cry when it hit her then just how much she'd missed them the past six months.
"Missed you guys." She said once the group hug was done and she went around giving them all hugs.
Alex was the last one, kissing the top of her head before he let go, "Missed you too."
She was melting, having missed the singer more than she would ever admit but the moment was cut short when Matt said, "Couldn't live without us huh?" A big smirk on his face, his eyes as playful as ever.
"Matthew, I will leave you here." She looked at the drummer with a serious expression, that was broken when she saw his film camera hanging from his neck.
Matt threw his arms up in defeat, "Alright, alright. But you couldn't though." He added the last bit quickly and quietly.
She chuckled and rolled her eyes, "If that helps you sleep at night."
After asking them if they were ready to go, and all of them nodding, she guided them to her car. It was big enough for all of them to fit comfortably so it didn't take them much time to get inside the vehicle and start driving. Alex was sitting on the passenger seat, while the rest took the backseats.
The little mirrorball was hanging from her rearview mirror with a tiny cowboy hat on top and it caught their attention. They all pointed at it with giggles whilst Alex could only think about how long it had been since the first time he saw it and how that day had been. Soon enough she turned on the car and started driving out of the parking lot.
Nick, who was in the middle, rested his arms on the front seats and looked around them all before saying, "Anyone want to share their last words before we get on the motorway?"
They all laughed hard, Ella looked through the rearview mirror at them and shook her head. She took her right hand and swatted at Nick's leg, leaving the steering wheel alone for a second which made Matt dramatically yell.
"Jesus Christ, I hate y'all." She sighed, placing her hand back where it was and focusing back on the road.
Jamie, who was sitting behind her, patted her arm. "Except you don't."
She opted to put her music on, letting the speakers drown the car with Ozzy Osbourne's voice. No one complained, which she was thankful for, they were just chatting over the music from time to time until they made it to Venice beach.
She took them walking through the Venice canals, the little suburb which was an American version of the Italian city. She had found it once while looking for a parking place when she was going to the beach with her friends, loving how quiet the place was and how pretty the scenery was. She had gone back multiple times to take pictures there, some of her favorite pictures were from the canals under the colors casted by the rising sun.
They had used the neighborhood as a backdrop to them walking around and catching up, them telling her tour anecdotes and how Nick's wedding plans were going, her telling them about the things they had been filming at Focus Creeps—which were now steering away from adverts and onto short films and artists trying to work with them after the Arctic Monkeys videos had been posted—and the shoots she'd been doing with Breana, which she promised Matt to show.
It was early, so the streets were rather empty, and it was February so it wasn't unbearably hot either.
Ella had her camera with her, constantly stopping to take pictures and it sent Alex back to Vegas. The way she would shiver despite having her jean jacket on sent him back to the day they had met. This time though, she would share her frames and exchange tips with Matt—he had her take pictures of certain places, she was helping him get the perfect shot—and Alex was melting inside. She was beyond adorable when her face lit up while sharing her passions.
After they gave the neighborhood a full walk-around, they went back to the car and she drove them over to the Old Los Angeles Zoo. The drive was long, over an hour, which was filled with her music and lots of chatter. She turned the volume down, the Talking Heads song fading to the background, so that she could give them a small preface of where it was that they were going.
"Okay so before you say anything about the LA Zoo signs, I'm actually taking you to the old abandoned one. It's very apocalyptic looking, but it has character."
Soon enough they were parking on the side of the road, and they could see an old rusty sign that read 'Picnic Area'. She guided them into the place, agile while scurrying and crouching down and through the stone ruins.
They were walking around and seeing every one of the forgotten cages, the lads getting inside of them and getting their pictures taken by Ella while they made weird faces or they tried to act like the animals they'd guess had lived in those cages.
Matt had trapped Ella into one of the cages, making her curse him through the metal bars as the band waved at her and faked leaving her behind. Alex taking a quick picture of her with his phone, she flipped him off and he smiled even harder.
Ella had gotten her payback when they were in a particularly claustrophobic cage that had a very steep staircase. Matt had been resting his palms against the graffitied walls at the top, as he slowly leaned his body forward to look down but he screeched when Ella had purposely nudged his hip and made his balance waver.
"You little–" The drummer had mumbled sternly before setting off to chase behind her, not hard to know where she went since she had run away giggling and they could still hear her.
Another thirty minutes of them messing about went by, before they were back in her car. She sighed as she settled in the driver's seat. Everyone shuffled into their seats but before she could start the engine, she had to make her mind up about where to take them next.
Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel as she looked through the rearview mirror at them. "Alright, so do you wanna go to the Hollywood sign or am I good to take you to the next place?"
They had already gone to the iconic landmark multiple times before so it wasn't hard for them to shrug and agree on moving onto the next place, which ended up being Los Feliz and they drove through the Shakespeare bridge on their way there, which she had pointed out enthusiastically.
Ella loved this part of the city of Los Angeles, she would visit it at least once a week to have some food at La Pergoletta and then go to the Los Feliz Theater which was just a couple blocks away. And that's exactly what they did. They sat at the Italian restaurant to have some early lunch—Ella giving them all recommendations of what they should get and fighting them to pay for the meal when the check arrived—, and then they went over to walk by the theater and the rest of Los Feliz Boulevard.
With their stomachs full and yet another roll of film gone, they went back to the car. Jamie walked ahead of the group as he claimed to remember exactly where they had parked, Nick and Matt talking as they followed closely behind, Alex and Ella on the very back of the group smoking.
"Are you excited to go on tour with us?" Alex inquired after he took a drag of his cigarette.
A puff of smoke left her lips, "I certainly am, though I can feel my back hurting already."
"Bunk beds are lovely, aren't they?" He looked at her with a playful smirk that made her chuckle.
"I bet you love going to the chiropractor." She sighed, exhaling the smoke and flicking some of the ashes to the floor.
"I've never been to one actually." the singer admitted after thinking for a second, trying to recount any visit to a chiropractor.
"Are you serious?" Ella asked with a gasp, and when he shook his head, she shrugged. "Well you should, it's the weirdest relief."
Alex thought about it but then frowned, "Doesn't the cracking noise freak you out?"
"Kind of? The first time he cracked my neck I fully thought I had died and was seeing the other side." She recalled, shuddering at the memory and the wind that had hit her.
He snorted, "That's exactly why I'll stick to massages, thanks very much."
"Are you gonna share your masseuse's number then?" She jokingly replied, but actually thinking of ways to alleviate her upcoming backache during the tour in the back of her mind.
Alex looked straight ahead towards his friends and pointed to the one in the front. "That would be Jamie actually, he knows his shit when it comes to a good back massage."
She hummed, looking at the man walking confidently ahead of the group. "Good to know." A few seconds of silence passed as they kept smoking and she thought of taking a picture of them, like that, in a mundane LA setting so she turned to the singer. "Alright Alex, c'mon go walk with them I wanna take a picture of y'all."
He nodded, smoking the last of his cigarette before tossing it to the pavement and stepping on it. "Tired of me, are you? The tour hasn't even started yet." He teased with a raised eyebrow.
She rolled her eyes, smiling at his behavior. "Shut up, idiot."
He smirked back, before starting to walk faster ahead of her. "How do you want me then?"
"Just keep walking and turn around when I call you." Ella instructed with a point of her finger.
Alex nodded and complied, walking right behind Nick and Matt who nodded at him in acknowledgement but kept talking between themselves. He was waiting for her voice to call out to him, watching his feet move, the sound of every step he took hitting his ears as the city noise became more background noise than anything.
When he heard a soft "Al" being called, he turned around with a soft smile—a smile that she captured, with the perfect focus and he looked stunning so the thought just escaped her.
"Stunning." Her voice was soft as she rolled the film with the lever, sticking it back into its place right after. Turning the device off since she wasn't taking any more pictures, she let it hit her upper stomach and when she looked up, she was met with his gaze.
"Is that so?" Alex nudged her hip with his and Ella blushed.
"Yes but don't let it get to your head," her cheeks stayed warm as she tried to play it cool, "Or else I'll have to take it upon myself to keep you humble."
He hummed as he pursed his lips trying not to grin, "I'm sure you'd enjoy that."
"You're right, I truly would." She nudged him this time and he tripped on his feet making her laugh out loud, the lads turned around to see him stumble and joined in her laughter. "Told you I would." She added smugly.
Alex looked at her mesmerized, Ella was just so hypnotizing to him. With everything she did, what she said and how she looked, he couldn't help but stare. She flushed under his gaze and was saved by the bell when Jamie indeed found her car and she had to speed her walk to unlock it for them.
Once inside, she ignited the engine and clapped her hands, "The next place I'm taking you is probably one of my favorite places in the whole world, I spend hours here every time I go and it's beautiful so..." she ranted before turning her music on, Stevie Nicks' voice now drowning the vehicle as they moved through the streets and back onto the highway.
It took them less than thirty minutes to get to the place, which had felt way faster after Matt decided to tease her about being born in the wrong generation as her playlist was filled with 70s and early 80s songs rather than more modern music; she hadn't gotten a chance to even fight their argument because when Alex started skipping through the songs, their point was backed. Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Talking Heads, The Cure, Pink Floyd, Bowie, Dolly Parton, Fleetwood Mac. Ella blushed as she slapped Alex's hand away from her phone, Bowie's voice lost in the background as everyone laughed.
When they stepped through the threshold of the bookstore, Ella's breath was taken from her by the views, as if she didn't frequent the place and she wasn't acquainted with the people who worked there.
Even Matt, who couldn't be arsed to be in a bookstore, was taken aback by the way the place looked. The way the books were arranged and the eccentric decor of each room was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was like a Disneyland themed room, but it was just a bookstore.
"Just wait until you see the book tunnel." Ella's voice was giddy, her smile growing as she stepped further inside, with them following closely behind.
And soon enough, while she gave them a tour of the place—saying "Hi!" to people working there who greeted her back and knew her name—, they were met with a room which had a tunnel against a wall, entirely made with books. Further ahead a wall with what had been arranged to look like flying books, that reminded them of Harry Potter.
After agreeing to spend half an hour there, since they had to be at the hotel in about two hours and she had to pick her stuff up and Breana to meet them back again, they separated to look through the endless selection of books the store offered.
Of course they had left Alex and Ella by themselves, but she was too entranced by the worn out spines on the shelves to see Matt winking at his best mate before leaving with Jamie and Nick.
"You know, I found an annotated original copy of Pride and Prejudice here the first time I came. It was titled 'Elizabeth Bennet' rather than Pride and Prejudice and I found out that that was the title of some copies when they first got here in 1832. Have been coming here since then." Her smile was soft at the memory, her eyes glimmering under the dull yellow lights.
He hummed, mirroring her gentle grin, "That must be worth a fortune."
"Oh definitely, but that book is not leaving me ever. If I don't get buried with it, then I will pass it down to my kids." She laughed at herself by the end, shaking her head at her thoughts and started walking to turn into another aisle.
He giggled with her, eyes wondering from her figure to the books. Some old, some new but all equally hypnotizing to her as she picked them out and inspected them.
"I'm sure they'll appreciate it."
"They better," Ella said absentmindedly as she put the book back in its place, "Or else I will haunt them."
Alex let out a breathy laugh as he reached for a book on the top shelf that had caught his eye. "You'd be the worst ghost, if they even exist."
She clicked her tongue, turning to look at him, book left forgotten in his hands as he met her gaze. "C'mon Turner, you need to have some faith or else I won't be able to haunt Helders for the rest of his life."
His smirk grew playful, "You'll make him miserable?"
She winked, "You know it."
Time flew by like it always did, purposely forcing the needles on the clock to spin faster when it knew Alex was with her, wind blowing the sand from the hourglass so they ran out of minutes when they were together. And as if they had been the embodiment of an alarm clock, the other three members of the group appeared, precisely on the dot of the time they had agreed on.
Back in the car, she sighed as she saw them all take in their assigned seats. "So how was it class? Did you like your road trip?"
Nick shrugged in the middle, his lips pressed to avoid smiling. "Eh. Could've been better."
And before Ella could retaliate, Matt added, "I'm pretty sure the driver tried to kill us a fair few times." to which Alex and Jamie agreed with "'Yeah, yeah."
She just rolled her eyes through the rear view mirror, and took advantage of having the singer next to her so she could smack the back of his head. "I can't stand any of you." She muttered as the engine hummed alive, making them all erupt in laughter at the way Alex had jumped in his seat.
The drive back to their hotel had grown amusing when 'Still Take You Home' came on, and she turned the volume up after saying with a massive smirk "See? How's that for modern music boys?"
She started singing along, copying Alex's accent and exaggerating it to an obnoxious extent but they were loving it. She made a full show, playing an imaginary guitar, getting cheered on by the lads and when the song was over she did a little curtsy with her eyes on the road.
Jamie patted Alex's shoulder, making him turn around and see a smirk on his friend's face. "Sorry Al, you're being replaced."
The singer only sighed, keeping up with the charade, "Just like that, huh?"
"Sorry mate." added Matt, a faux-comforting grasp of his shoulder as he apologized.
Ella grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "Sorry Al, but it's clear who's better if the decision was that easy." A frown on her face as she acted on putting a face that exuded fake pity.
He only shook his head, grabbing the phone. Unlocking it easily with a swipe on the screen and he searched through her music. "But do you know..." He trailed off as he pressed on the track. The quick drum pattern of 'Pretty Visitors' coming through the speakers and her pout faltered.
"Won't even try because I can barely understand what you say in it." Her cheeks tinted pink as the other three hollered in the back of the car.
"Looks like you're back mate." said Nick, backtracking their previous statement.
Alex smirked at Ella, who caught the sight of him for a quick second before turning back around to look at the road. "That's what I thought."
In an hour, she had dropped them off at the hotel so they could get ready before the tour bus got there later and picked them all up. She rushed home to pick up her suitcase—which she had forced herself to keep light and small—and then went over Breana's to get her.
The sun was setting as they talked, laughed and sang, driving down the highway and on their way back to the hotel. The closer the hotel's exit got, the more nervous she felt. Bre noticed, but she kept making jokes that made her loosen up. After all, nothing bad would happen; the worst could be that however she felt about Alex got nowhere and she'd stay silently crushing over a man out of her reach. And she somehow was okay with that, as long as she still could have him as a friend.
It was muscle memory that made her find a parking spot and turn off the engine of her car at the hotel. With a blink, she realized just how dangerous that had been, because she couldn't recall those last five minutes of the drive. The thought of him was dangerous.
The tiny wheels on their suitcases scratched down the pavement as they met the band at the hotel's main entrance. She had to quickly reach for Bre's suitcase when she let go of it to run into Matt's arms, catching it right before it hit the ground.
Jamie sighed, "Thanks Bre, we missed you too." Sarcasm so clear in his words, Matt chuckled and only held his girlfriend tighter.
Eventually, the lovebirds let go of each other and Breana could properly greet everyone. They all lit cigarettes up as they waited for the bus, which according to the text Alex had gotten, would be there in about fifteen minutes.
It was all laughter and chatter, a taste of what the upcoming week was going to be like, and Ella found it refreshing. Yes she loved her job, but there was something about driving down the west coast along with her friends, who happened to be musicians, enjoying their art and whatever the cities had to offer.
She wished she could go on tour more often already but since she knew this was gonna be the first and last time she'd get to go on one, she'd make the best out of the experience and enjoy every second of it.
A few minutes earlier than anticipated, the bus arrived. Tall black coach with dark windows that made her wonder if you could even look through them at all. She found that she could, after they all left their luggage where they had been instructed to place it and they walked up the steps and into the vehicle.
"Holy shit," Ella could barely keep her jaw from falling at the size of it, "It's bigger than the last one."
Matt walked up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder and his other arm hugged Breana tighter to his side. "Had to upgrade since we're taking on two very special guests."
"Awh, I knew I was special to you." Ella cooed playfully before jabbing the drummer in his ribs.
He flinched and tried to get her back but she moved faster, "Don't go pushing your luck now, Ellie."
She giggled before she was swept away by Breana, who grabbed her hand and took her to the next few steps that led into the rest of the bus. There were far too many bunks for just the six of them but they looked bigger and more comfortable than the ones in the tour bus they had taken to Las Vegas so she wouldn't go complaining about anything. She was sure she could go without a hotel throughout the week, seeing that they had a perfectly sized bathroom inside as well, with a small shower and all.
Nick walked into the hallway, standing by the door that separated the bunks from the rest of the bus. "Yous can choose your beds first."
Bre turned to her with a playful smirk, shrugging her shoulders mischievously. "Chivalry is not dead I see..." the model trailed off, getting a hold of Ella's hand again to bring her back down the hallway.
And after leaving their coats on top of the beds they had chosen, which were facing each other, they went back down to the lounge area. The driver was at the bottom of the stairs telling them they'd be setting off in five minutes and made sure there was nothing else they were missing.
Five minutes after the confirmation that they were good to go, the bus started moving. They felt the change of rhythm as they got off onto the highway whilst they chatted, scattered around the settees in the lounge area.
"So Ella, are you ready for the groupie lifestyle?" Matt's voice was teasing, a slight pitch higher as the anticipation of her reaction bubbled inside of him. Breana giggled against her boyfriend's side which she was pressed against.
As per usual, Ella was starting to blush. Her cheeks tinted a faint pink as her lips pursed, "Groupie? That's a big commitment."
"Well I know a few people that would love to come to an agreement with you." The drummer let his eyes wander to his best friend who was about to break his jaw with how hard he was clenching it.
Ella knew exactly who Matt was staring at so her cheeks turned a very obvious red now, even the tips of her ears matching the color on her face.
She sighed, letting her head drop just a little bit for a few seconds before looking to her left and staring at the other three musicians. "How long is this tour again?"
Matt snorted, Breana laughing just as hard as Nick was. "Eight days." Jamie ended up replying, holding back laughter.
Her eyes were still on the rest of the band and she gave them a pitiful shake of her head, "Can't believe you can stand months of this one on the road. I'd pull all of my hair out."
Alex agreed with her then, "I'm fairly close to that point every tour."
"Sure mate, I'd pay to see you bald." Dared the drummer to which he only received an eye roll and a lovely middle finger from the singer.
Ella could only think how unforgettable those eight days were going to be.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Ella had been right.
She had it all imprinted in her mind.
Every kiss to her cheek followed by a 'good morning', an arm snaking around her waist giving it a firm squeeze before letting go and leaving her breathless.
Every time an arm came around her shoulders and rubbed her arm up and down when she was shivering because of the strong winds outside the venues as the sky turned from lilac and orange to a velvety blue.
Every whiskey glass turned into a slurred 'you look stunning, darling', that somehow always led to shared cigarettes outside bars and his giggles in her ear as he leaned into her every time she'd make him laugh.
Every picture she had taken of their views and their surroundings, that turned into a plea to take a picture of her with whatever it was in her previous shot as a background.
Every late night chat they had as they were always the last ones to go to bed. It be on the tour bus' lounge or a hotel bar, the walls of these places being confidants to everything they'd shared: stories from their childhoods, a movie they never really got over, a hobby they always wanted to get into but never could, their already gone dreams that would forever stay as that, the intricacies of existence they'd come to terms with never really understanding.
She was sure she had never blushed more in her life compared to how she had been in the past five days. Her cheeks were sore from grinning after everything Alex did, whatever little things he'd say to her.
They had grown closer, always next to each other. Their behavior had earned them plenty of eye rolls from the rest of the band, but they didn't truly care anymore.
That Tuesday she had woken up with a groan. They had been in Vegas the day before and, whilst their stay had been shorter and tamer than the last time they had been in the city, they still had had plenty to drink. A headache was all she felt, softer than she would've expected and she found a bit of hope in the fact that she could nurse it with a couple of painkillers.
Her phone screen flashed in front of her, a notification from the weather app telling her it would be a sunny but windy day in San Diego. Eyes going up to the time, nine in the morning and she took a deep breath but it got stuck in her throat when she realized the date. Fucking Valentine's Day.
Ella had grown to have good memories of the holiday, but they had all been tarnished by people's decisions and time. She didn't care much for it anymore, or she forced herself not to. Now all she could think was how she would hate the decision of having Breana sleep just across from her, she'd have to sleep blasting music in order not to hear anything. It had already worked for her the days before, so she would hold on tight to her earphones and her playlists to drown out whatever the lovebirds would get up to that night.
She shivered just thinking about it.
Slowly pushing the curtain aside, Ella slid out of the bunk. Landing with a thud on the floor, before she walked out to the lounge to make herself a cup of coffee on the fancy Keurig the tour bus had.
Nick had kept his promise of asking for loads of it. It had been an exaggerated amount but it was of a really really nice kind so she wouldn't complain.
Surprisingly everyone rose up not long after her, she thought it was probably the coffee's smell that had guided them out of bed and into the lounge. First came Jamie, who stood beside her, leaning against the makeshift kitchen counter as they sipped on their coffees.
Nick and Breana followed, the girl claiming Matt was still asleep but they'd be going out when he woke up, which meant the other four of the group were gonna be left alone without the lovers.
She had been teasing Breana along with Nick and Jamie—laughing as they managed to make the model blush and hide behind her hands—when Alex came out looking freshly changed, wearing a plain white shirt with a leather jacket, dark jeans and his usual chelsea boots. Gold chain around his neck and she had to pinch herself to stop her mind going places.
He took her breath away and it was shown in the way her exhale pushed the steam of her second coffee cup forwards.
"Morning everyone." The singer greeted in a low voice, morning's effect still over it as it sounded husky and slightly raspy.
They all said morning back, Ella turning around to pour him a mug of coffee. A spoonful and a half of sugar, the way she now knew he liked his coffee.
When she held it up for him to take he got closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek and whispering "Thank you, Ellie."
He took a long sip of the beverage before he cleared his throat, "You should get ready, we're going out in a little bit."
She frowned, cup slowly leaving her lips. "But–" she turned to Jamie then, who was still standing beside her, "Didn't we not have plans?"
Jamie smirked, looking from Ella to Alex, "We didn't."
"Just us, you deserve a break from these two idiots." He tried to downplay it, not wanting to say he was taking her on a date but he was.
Her hand was still frozen, the cup of coffee midair as she slowly broke out of her shocked state. "Alright..." she trailed off, her voice barely a whisper.
Nick got up, taking the mug from her hand. "Go on, I'll wash this for you."
Breathlessly she replied, "Thank you," before she, in panic, looked at Breana who had the biggest grin on her face.
The model jumped up onto her feet and ran away into the bunk beds with Ella's hand tightly clutched. They moved onto the empty bunk area, and closed the door behind them to not wake Matt up.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Breana whisper-yelled and it only made her more nervous.
Ella waved her hands to calm her down, "Stop! Stop!" She shouted back in a whisper.
Bre sighed, "He's totally asked you on a date."
"No he hasn't, it's just– We're just going out." Ella fought back, stuttering as she made her point.
"Going out. On a date." The model stated in a tone that said it was obvious.
"Fuck." She swore under her breath and Breana shrieked. "Shush! I don't want to get my hopes up."
The admission made Bre stop in her place, she grabbed Ella's arms and squeezed affectionately, "Everything will be okay, alright? Whatever happens, it will be a good day and you'll remember it as such."
She inhaled and exhaled, twice, long deep breaths to calm her down but they did nothing really. She needed a cigarette, desperately, but she needed to get ready first. "What do I even wear?! I have nothing date-appropriate to wear."
"Lucky you have me, babe." Breana wasted no time before she crouched down to pull her case towards herself, unzipping it and showing a mess of fabrics.
Ten minutes later, after she had been pushed into the bathroom to get ready and then change into the clothes Breana and her had chosen, she was putting some mascara on. Breana pushed one of her lip glosses into the pocket of the cheetah print coat she had lent Ella.
The coat had been decided into the outfit after Ella claimed she'd get too cold without one as she was just wearing a satin top, that looked like the top half of a slip-on dress, and her high waisted blue jeans. She fished her packet of Marlboro reds and her lighter after spraying some perfume on the way out, her camera already hanging on her shoulder and her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.
Her boots clicked as she walked down the few steps that led into the lounge. And Alex swallowed hard when she fully came in view. He didn't have it in him to feel shy or embarrassed to be heard by his mates when he went over to her, clutched her hand and told her, "You look beautiful, Ellie." followed by a kiss on her cheek.
His lips burned on the already heated skin of her cheeks. She just had it in her to say back a quiet, "Thank you, Al. So do you."
He quickly said goodbye to everyone before they could say anything, and he thanked his lucky stars that Matt wasn't there or else she would've shied away from it all with his teasing. She said bye too, quietly as the nerves bit away at her slowly with every step they took in direction to the bus door.
Once outside he decided to tease her, joke around to have her loosen up because he could feel just how stiff and nervous she was. "Beautiful am I then?"
She chuckled, blushing again. "Shut up." she replied with her head down, her voice directed at the floor. "Where are we going anyway?" She put a strand of hair behind her ear as she inquired.
Alex smiled softly at her, "We're renting a car and I'm taking you to this place I've always wanted to go but never had the chance to."
"Mysterious." She let her words hang in the air as they walked, she had no idea where they were going and that made her more nervous yet she was growing giddy too. The bus had stopped at the venue, so they took an exit through a door all the way around, where the fans weren't queuing up for later.
Just like he had been saying, there was a car rental place a few blocks away and it wasn't long before they were driving down San Diego's coast. About twenty minutes later, when she had asked many times where they were going and he was not telling her, Ella was able to see the outline of a rollercoaster beside the sea and it made her gasp.
"Are we going to Belmont Park?!" Her pitch was high as she couldn't contain her excitement, and Alex grinned hard when he took a quick glance at her and saw her practically beaming.
He hummed like he didn't want to let a pathetic happy squeal, "We are."
She couldn't stay still and she was aware that she probably looked like a child but she had always wanted to come to this place, and she was fairly sure she had mentioned it to him when they found themselves chatting over a few drinks at the bar of the hotel they had stayed in when they were in San Francisco.
It came back faintly to her mind then. Alex had mentioned that San Diego was the last place before they would drive back up to Los Angeles and Ella had gone on an alcohol-induced rant about how she'd been dying to go to Belmont Park but the few times she had gone down to San Diego, no one had wanted to go with her or something happened that kept her from going.
Her insides filled with a feeling she had been trying to ignore for the past few days, just thinking about how he had remembered all that when she had almost forgotten even mentioning it in between the cocktails.
Alex rolled the windows down, wind blowing their hair around. Not even her hair on her face could hide her grin and it only got bigger as they parked and got to the ticket booth.
The place was less crowded than she expected it to be, with kids back in school and it being winter, so they were walking freely and enjoying the controlled noise from the people already there.
The orange wristbands they had gotten allowed them to go on any ride they wanted so they went walking around the place, drinking in everything they could do throughout the day and seeing what caught their eyes first.
"We're definitely saving the roller coaster for last." She pointed out, her ears filling with the yells of people on the ride's trains as they came down the big slope.
He nodded, "Yep, but we're going in the first row." He was wearing dark sunglasses but she could see his teasing gaze behind them.
She smirked at him, "Okay, deal." putting her hand out for him to shake and that he did, firmly and matching her smirk.
A few minutes later they had found a mini golf course, safari themed that they deemed the best way to start the day. They picked up their score card, a pencil, their balls and putters and off they went into the course.
Ella turned to him as they approached the first hole, "Don't laugh at me," her finger threatening as it pointed straight at her face. "My dad tried to get me into golfing but I've always been shit at it."
His lips pressed hard against each other, trying to hide his smile. "Sure. Promise I won't laugh."
But when she hit the ball first and it awkwardly landed in the furthest spot from the hole, completely missing it by a foot, he snorted and she huffed as she turned around. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"
Her pout tugged at his heart strings, "Sorry darling," he pressed a kiss to her temple before placing his ball on the tee, "But you really are bad."
"I know." She whined, a soft chuckle leaving her lips seeing how far her ball was and how funny she found her own lack of golfing skills. Jesus, that's fucking embarrassing, she thought.
Ella didn't mind keeping the score, she was just a little embarrassed by the end when Alex won by having half her points. She blushed when he asked who had won, only wanting to tease her because he knew it was him.
Alex had compensated it by getting her ice cream, which they were eating away blissfully as they walked around.
The wind kept blowing her hair around, making her curse as she tried to keep it away from the ice cream. He stopped and handed her his cup, she was confused until he stood behind her and brushed her hair back to then start braiding it.
Her face was heating up, as she stared ahead of her, feeling his fingers on her hair. "What are you doing?" The words were so soft they almost sounded weak.
"A plait, so your hair doesn't blow on your face." Alex responded just as softly, his breath hitting the back of her neck. He could see the goosebumps erupting on her skin so he smirked, purposely brushing his finger against her neck soothingly.
He didn't take long to finish it, tying it with an elastic she had on her wrist. He squeezed her shoulders to indicate he was done and she turned around on her heels, "Thanks, Al."
"No worries." He smiled, getting his ice cream back from her.
"Where did you learn how to braid? I'm curious now."
Alex chuckled at her eyes clearly showing her curiosity. "I used to have long hair y'know."
She paused, "Wait– like long long? Longer than when we met?"
He nodded, "Way longer."
"Oh I'm gonna have a good time on google later." Ella elbowed him softly to tease him, cheeky smile breaking out despite the spoon between her teeth.
He rolled his eyes in faux annoyance, "Sure you will. Will have a good time chatting shit with Matt too, I bet."
She beamed and joked, "You know me so well."
Ella kept on walking then to taunt him some more, leaving him to keep up with her as her strides got faster. She got a playful shove when he caught up beside her which ended in her laughing.
Teenagers were running around with their friends, laughter came from all around the place, the sun was shining bright behind the clouds that stubbornly chased the star around. It was all perfect and it only got better as the day went by.
They had gone on the bumper cars twice, the drop tower, the beach blaster—which had gotten them so dizzy they ended up riding the carrousel afterwards, earning frowns from certain parents who were holding their toddlers up on the horses—, the go karts, the fun house and even a laser maze.
It was around lunch time when they were walking past a line of stands filled with food you could only find at a fair. Sweetness bold in the air, making their mouths water.
"What's that? Smells very nice." asked Alex when they passed a funnel cake kiosk.
Ella stopped in her tracks, grabbing his wrist to drag him to the back of the short line. "Funnel cake and we're getting some," she fished for her card to keep it in hand and pay before he could, like he had done all day. "Have you ever tried it?"
He hadn't even heard of the term before, "No, is it good?"
She sighed in delight just thinking about it, "It tastes like heaven."
Ten minutes later they were sitting on a little wooden table with two funnel cakes—that she proudly and quickly paid for—sitting on top of it. One had whipped cream and caramel drizzled all over, while the other had a scoop of vanilla ice cream, chopped strawberries and chocolate fudge.
"This is like asking for a diabetic coma." The singer joked, watching the dessert filling the plates.
She smiled at that, "Welcome to America baby," she quipped back with a playful tone on her voice.
The phrase came out of her mouth without her even having time to realize the pet name, but she played off her flushing cheeks as excitement as she moved one of the plates towards him and pulled the other in front of her.
Plastic forks dug into the fried batter and, just as Ella had described, it tasted amazing. She made him take bites out of hers, claiming he had to try it or else he'd regret it, so he did and she watched him take it in as she wiped some caramel from the corner of her mouth.
Alex savored the bite, thinking about how if he kissed her, she'd taste just as sweet and just that thought made his mouth water even more.
She had been taking pictures, and he thought about how he'd never grow tired of seeing her like that: so adamant on catching the perfect shot, sometimes slightly crouching down or standing on her tippy toes, nose scrunching as she closed one of her eyes to focus the frame, finger so delicate yet precise when pressing the shutter and that beaming grin after capturing it.
The same grin she was giving him now after she had taken a picture of him and the funnel cakes, the rest of the attendees so oblivious to her heart swelling up at his soft smile and the way his eyes crinkled.
Once they finished their food, they stood up and kept on walking until they stumbled on a photobooth on the left side of the boardwalk. He paid before she could notice, and when they were sitting on the flat red leather seat, she awkwardly smiled at the screen.
There was a five second countdown that made her internally freak out until she settled on just smiling, eyes closed from how big it was and he copied it as he also faced the camera.
Once the shutter sound went off she sighed, "I have no idea what to do, I'm usually the photographer!"
He chuckled and threw his arm around her shoulder to hug her into him, cheek pressed against her temple making her giggle. The sound of her bubbly laughter was interrupted by the shutter and she couldn't wait to see how that one had turned out.
She let out a small shriek, desperately trying to think of something to do. "Okay Mr. Rockstar, rock on." Ella said quickly before doing the rock 'n' roll sign with her right hand, tongue sticking out to the camera. He mirrored her actions, both of them bursting out with laughter right after. "Sorry I panicked, didn't know what to do."
Alex just shook his head and she scrunched up her nose looking at his blissed expression. "You're something else." He said almost breathlessly, getting lost in her pretty eyes.
"Is that a compliment?" Her voice was shy as her cheeks tinted pink for the hundredth time in the day.
He smirked, "Definitely."
And with that the shutter went off capturing the last picture. When they came out of the booth and saw the freshly printed pictures, they laughed. They laughed to hide how the strip of photos actually made them feel, her skin erupted in goosebumps at the sight of the last one: both of them just smiling wide at each other, eyes staring into the other's like nothing else mattered.
He held the little sleeve in which the two strips were now saved, and delicately placed it on the pocket inside of his jacket, so ironically over his heart.
Not long after, they were on the line for the roller coaster which they had agreed would be their last ride before they went out to eat at this Mexican restaurant she loved that wasn't too far away.
She had always hated the long queues at amusement parks, the wait making her body catch onto just how sore her feet were or how her back begged for a resting place but it was easy with Alex. They would get caught in conversations so quickly, effortlessly flowing through topics and stories, making the forty minutes of wait seem shorter.
He had asked for them to be seated in the front row, having to wait for five more minutes before they got the instruction to sit and when they did she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.
"Are you nervous?" Alex asked, half teasing and half worried.
Ella cleared her throat to begin explaining, "I love roller coasters but hate heights. Just a walking contradiction I am."
He squeezed her thigh to then pull on the black bar set firmly atop of their hips, "Don't worry, this won't budge."
And before she could nod the trains started moving and her eyes widened, a chesty laugh falling from his lips at her reaction. A few seconds later they were in complete darkness and then the light of day could be seen at the end of the tunnel.
Once the light hit them again, the trains started going up and she turned to him in warning. "Just so you know, I tend to laugh like a maniac when I'm scared on a ride."
"Very excited to see that." Alex was teasing her but not quite, he actually wanted to hear every version of her laugh.
Ella could see the drop coming up and suddenly she remembered the lack of protection her top provided, words spilling out of her mouth with no filter as the anticipation built up. "My fucking tits are gonna fall off this top!" She shouted through her teeth, just loud enough for only them both to hear.
In comparison, his laugh was loud, "Well I wouldn't mind seeing that either."
She scoffed, one hand on the bar on top of them and the other holding the fabric of her strappy top to her exposed chest. "Of course you wouldn't you cheeky– Fuck!"
The car dipped faster than she expected and she closed her eyes for a second after her curse flew out into the wind. He was laughing beside her, making her laugh with him and as the trains went up and down, a funny feeling on her stomach made her giggle away uncontrollably.
The ride ended after a brief minute of ups, downs and tilts to the sides, and as they came to a stop at the loading bay of the attraction, Alex turned to ask her, "You wanna go again?"
In all honesty, he didn't want to make another almost-hour-long line but the whole time he had been looking at her and hearing her in the ride, and he selfishly wanted to experience it all again.
"If the line wasn't as long, then I'd say yes. But maybe next time yeah?" Ella replied, patting his cheek before the worker lifted the security bar and they got out.
They had laughed at her reaction on the way back to the car, the sunset creeping on behind them. She gasped at the colors in the sky as she opened the car door so she stopped to take a picture before getting inside.
"Got it?" The singer asked softly with a small smile on his face.
"Mhm." She nodded, shy smile reciprocating his.
And then they drove as she sang to the songs from her phone. Smirking when 'Suck It And See' came on shuffle, "Oh what a lovely coincidence, isn't it Turner?" she had said before singing along to his voice booming through the speakers.
He had only shook his head as he looked at the road but whenever he turned to see her singing to her heart's content, with the pink and lilac casted behind her as the sun fell slowly to kiss the horizon, he took a mental picture of it all. Not because of nature's wonders but of her, in all her glory, she was far more captivating than any of the most stunning skies he had ever seen.
"A picture would last you longer, Turner." Ella played, feeling his burning gaze as she scrolled through her music on her phone.
His cheeks heated slightly from being caught, "It would. Quite gutted I'm driving right now."
She blushed but leaned into the console to get closer to him and kissed his cheek, "Your memory better do then."
When they stopped at the restaurant, she came out of the car with a bounce on her step. "Oh thank god! I was starving." she admitted, holding his hand as she rushed them into the place. When the tune of the bell greeted them inside, two heads turned and were quick to say 'hello' and sit them down.
"Alright so," she started, clasping her hands in front of her on top of the table, "My guilty pleasure is Mexican coke and I'm just so lucky that we always have it here in the south so we're getting some first. It's so much better than the American one, far sweeter."
He hummed at her, thinking back to remember if he'd ever had Mexican coke but barely even remembering the last instance he'd had a can of regular coke. So when someone came back to take their orders, the first thing she asked for was two bottles of Mexican coke along with carne asada tacos and chips with guacamole.
They ended up ordering another pair of Cokes to wash down the food. She desperately wanted one to nurse the numbness the hot chili sauce had left on her mouth and when the two new bottles were left on the table, she thanked the waitress and quickly enclosed her fingers around one of them.
Condensation dripped down her palm and wrist, as her swollen red lips found purchase around the tip of the bottle. She took a long sip, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed the carbonated liquid. Alex suddenly wanted to be the bottle, to feel her lips on his in any way he could, to feel them around him. There was nothing he wouldn't do to be in the place of that damn bottle.
It was about an hour, the time they had spent at the restaurant. They paid—he did, despite her arguing with him about it—, and they were on their way back to the venue shortly after. When they got to the theater, they parked by the back entrance and ran inside seeing they only had fifteen minutes left before Alex had to be on stage.
He got waved over by one of the sound guys, telling him they needed him to check his in-ears before it was show time and he promised he'd be over soon, the man leaving after telling him where they were gonna be waiting for him.
She blushed at the tension in the air, she felt it so thick over her like the humidity after a hot summer rainfall. So shyly she held his hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of it. "Thank you for today." her tone was so timid, it made his need to kiss her shyness away even bigger.
He gave her a soft smile, so genuine that it melted her. "I should be the one thanking you, darling. Had the best day."
Someone in the distance shouted his name, and she could've bet money on it being none other than Matt 'Cockblocker' Helders. But before the drummer could've come to completely ruin the moment, she took it in her own hands to seal the day with a golden ribbon.
With a tinge of courage she started, "Well, happy Valentine's day Al." and before he could say it back, she was standing on her tippy toes and pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.
For merely a few seconds he felt her plush pink lips on his, they were soft and hot, still a bit swollen from the hot sauce. They were seconds that felt like an eternity but way too short for his own liking. Just that moment felt like it had caused a domino effect that somehow provoked a new universe to be created in space, a new black hole to be born and suck everything around it.
She practically ran off before he could do anything else, following the signs that guided her towards the crowd where she knew Breana would be, like every other gig in the past days.
Matt yelled out his name once again but Alex was just standing in the middle of the hallway staring at the wall with the sensation of her lips still pressed against his.
"What the fuck are you doing just standing there like an absolute melt?" The drummer asked with a frown on his face, watching the clock ticking on the wall in front of him.
Alex sighed, wishing time would stop just so he could sit on the feeling and replay the moment over and over until it was permanently engraved in his mind, frame by frame. "Matt, would you just shut up?"
"What? Was the date bad or–?" Matt inquired, teasingly and ready to annoy his best mate.
The singer sighed and cut him off before he could continue with his taunting, "Shut up Matthew." To which the drummer frowned when he saw the big smile breaking out on Alex's face as he turned around.
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After the band got off stage, they all got back in the tour bus and when the lads had finished taking turns to shower, they suddenly decided it was a night worthy of some wine.
Four bottles of red wine later, Ella found herself giggling away as she rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Their cheeks were flushed due to the alcohol and she felt like she was about to start sweating but she couldn't find it in herself to peel away from his side.
Not that Alex wanted her to, that's why his arm was firmly stuck around her waist as he kept her cuddled into his side. He would pinch her side when she made a dig at him, and rub soothing circles on her stomach over the satin of her top when she would laugh or snuggle further into him.
It was nearly three in the morning when they all started to quiet down and he noticed how Ella seemed to have fallen asleep on his shoulder, face hidden on the crook of his neck.
He couldn't find it in himself to wake her up, that's why he stayed until the latest he could, watching everyone wave him goodnight before disappearing up the steps. Eventually, his eyes started closing as he felt the exhaustion catching up to him. He rubbed her arm, up and down until she started squirming under his touch.
"Darling, shall we go to bed now?"
She mumbled something, her lips brushing against the base of his throat, making him almost shiver.
"Should I carry you to bed?" He suggested, his fingers pinching her side softly as he continued, "Huh? Lazy."
She groaned, "I can walk Al. Just–" she paused to yawn behind her hand, "Gonna keep my eyes closed though, so just guide me yeah?"
He nodded, "Alright." So he did what she had asked, saying "Step, another step, last step." his hands around her waist as he walked behind her and guided her back into the bunk beds. When he slowly opened the door, he noticed Jamie and Nick inside their bunks, snoring away peacefully. Bre and Matt were nowhere to be found but he could bet they were on any of the other beds from the room that followed the one they all slept at. At least they are considerate today, he thought.
When they were in front of her bed, he brushed her hair back and away from her face. "We have arrived at your destination, darling."
She hummed slightly in annoyance as she now had to open her eyes to slide into her resting space. "Thank you," her eyes opened just a tiny bit, hissing at the light hitting her corneas. "Fuck, that's bright."
His chuckle made her smile, a loopy grin before she slid into her bunk. "You comfortable?" Alex asked as she slithered further inside the bunk.
She sighed content to finally be in bed, "Very much so," she poked her head out, squinting to see him and decided she was sleepy enough to not care about what she did anymore so she leaned into him to give him another kiss. A peck that ended up being delivered to the corner of his mouth but he wouldn't complain, not when her voice sounded so mellow when she said "Sweet dreams, Al."
And they were sweet dreams, the ones he had, as he fell asleep with the whole day playing on his mind in a never ending loop that he wasn't getting tired of, and the feeling of her lips on his haunting him.
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Ella woke up the next day with another headache and a long list of questions. The memories of the previous day helped lull the ache in her skull but it only added to every single one of her inquiries and worries. She had no idea if things would change or if it would stay all the same.
That was answered sooner than she expected when she went out to meet everyone after brushing her teeth. It seemed like it all was the same but different at the same time, because he still told her good morning followed by a kiss on her cheek but whatever she felt about the things he did before had grown exponentially, and it was like her stomach was flipping on its own over and over.
It happened throughout the whole day, her insides melting at every single embrace, the kisses on her cheek or her temple, the laughs in her ear. And Alex wasn't too far behind, feeling his insides coat with warmth when she would hug his waist every time he came beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders, the way she'd play with his fingers as she chatted with the guys, how she would brush his hair out of his face when the strands got in his eyes.
They had driven back to Los Angeles that morning, meaning they had arrived at the venue just in time for lunch and they weren't planning on doing anything else other than stay in the greenroom until showtime.
After their meal, the band had done a quick soundcheck before the show. Bre and Ella, cheering for them, playfully telling them they could do better and doing silly little dances that didn't match the songs at all.
Back in the greenroom, they had started drinking and playing truth or dare. Ella had rolled her eyes but agreed to participating, despite being nervous about what she'd be dared to do or say.
It was Nick's turn to choose someone and that person ended up being Ella. Her sigh was heard by the whole group, making them laugh.
"Ella, truth or dare?" The bassist's eyes indicated nothing but trouble.
She sipped on her margarita before choosing, "Truth."
Nick paused for a few seconds before he straightened up and smirked, "What was your worst sexual encounter?"
She blew the air out of her mouth dramatically, "You wanna know the worst worst one?"
Everyone nodded along with Nick, all curious to know.
"Okay, erm– Fuck, alright. Just be ready 'cause it's really bad." She started, putting her drink down on the closest table. "A little preface though, this was back when I was confused and seeing if I actually did like men or if I was just a lesbian so bear with me."
She cleared her throat before she could start and took a deep breath, "It was sophomore year in university, we were all in Florida for spring break and I took the chance to just... Y'know," her cheeks reddened at the thought of saying her motives to her friends, "Fuck around." she finished quietly and they all laughed making her face heat up even more.
"Anyway, so I found this guy at the beach who was really hot and he ended up buying me a drink and whatever. Long story short, he told me he had a room in this hotel across the street and we had both been pretty obvious about our intentions so we went up to his room." They all saw how she grew impossibly redder as she reminisced, "So we got down to it..."
Breana interrupted with a gasp, "He went down on you?"
Ella just shook her head, "I wish." The words left her lips before she could think about them and everyone chuckled at her bluntness. "We were just getting off for a while, you know, dry humping and whatnot until we got to bed." She sighed, grimacing at what was coming next. "We took our clothes off and all, he put a condom on after I asked him to and then he started going at it. Only that he never went inside me..." She trailed off, her voice rising in pitch as she got more embarrassed.
"He was on top and we were basically in missionary, but when he went to, erm– put it in, he just put it between my ass and the bed and started thrusting. Mind you, I wasn't making a single noise because I was genuinely confused while he was moaning like a mad man." She turned to grab her glass back up and take a swig of it, the tequila pushing her to finish the story. "He finished so quick and had the nerve to ask if I had finished, I just stood up, said 'no but probably the duvet did', put my shit back on and left him."
Jamie whistled, "Mental."
Matt had the deepest frown on his face, "How do you not notice it's not in?"
"He said something about that being the reason he doesn't wear condoms as I walked away." Ella shrugged, before taking another sip of her drink. "Thanks to him I almost entirely gave up on men."
Breana snickered then, "Oh, but do tell who gave you back hope."
"That's for you to find out if I choose truth in another turn." Ella winked at the model with rosy cheeks, bluffing as she definitely wasn't choosing truth then because one sex story was enough for the day.
Nick interrupted then, "Alright Ella, who are you choosing now?"
"Jamie." She decided after a few seconds of internal debate. "Truth or dare?"
"Dare." The guitarist uttered, taking a sip of his own drink.
"I dare you to reenact for us your favorite position." She had a smirk on her face, wanting to tease the man just for the laugh.
"Can't do it alone though." Jamie argued just to see if that would get him out of the dare.
But to Jamie's dismay, she pointed at the man standing right beside him, "Well you've got Alex right there don't you?"
When Jamie dragged Alex to the settee and pulled him on top of him as he laid on it, the rest of the group started hollering, Matt wolf whistling as Alex hovered above Jamie's lap in a cowgirl position, swinging an imaginary laso above his head.
"I see the vision, Ella." Bre approved playfully between giggles which got her giggling too as she went to retrieve her polaroid camera.
She pointed at the two guys on the sofa and ordered them, "Stay there, I'm taking a picture of this." as she turned the device on, and ten seconds later the shutter had gone off and the picture was getting printed out.
Matt took the opportunity, seeing as Jamie got off the sofa leaving Alex sat there alone, to dare Ella to do the same using Alex as her partner. "Go on then Ella, it's your turn to show us yours."
"Says who? It's Jamie's turn to choose." She chatted back knowing exactly what Matt was trying to do.
But before she could continue, Jamie clocked onto what the drummer was doing and egged her on. "I choose you and you're doing that same dare."
She rolled her eyes, cheeks growing more flushed despite them being already pink from the alcohol. Her legs hit the sofa and she laid on it just like Jamie had done, only she pressed her feet on the settee but before she lifted her hips up, she grabbed Alex's hand and guided him on top of her.
He was about to tease her, about to say 'Oh so you like being on the bottom?' when she knocked the breath out of his lungs by saying, "Hop on, you be me." loud enough for everyone to hear and gasp in shock.
Once Alex was on top of her, she pushed his hands to be just above her shoulders so his chest was almost pressed against her and his collarbone was straight on top of her face. She lifted her hips up and pressed them on his ass for a quick second, winking at him before dropping back down.
Matt was quick to comment, with a heavy smirk on his face. "Oh she is dirty."
Nick followed, "Naughty!"
And Jamie topped it all off by asking, "How long have you been thinking about that one? You worked that out with Alex really quick."
She hid behind her hands, her palms feeling the growing heat on her whole face. "I'm never drinking with y'all ever again."
Everyone laughed away, even Alex but he did it in her ear as he dropped further into her fully sitting on her lap.
"Uncover your face for me darling." He ordered with such a raspy voice she wanted to squeeze her thighs together but she couldn't so she just did as he said. He smirked, pulling back a few inches to see her from that angle, all flustered and with her hair disheveled over the settee. What a stunning view.
"That's it." His eyes looked at her adoringly and she felt like she was melting onto the settee under his gaze, but Ella completely froze and burnt over at the same time when Alex whispered to her, "Good girl."
As if he hadn't just said that, he got up and walked over to get another cup of whiskey. She was left gathering her thoughts on the sofa, head all scrambled and her very human needs screaming at her to do something about the man.
She got up eventually, Breana winking at her as she walked past her and to the table which had the bottle of tequila. She needed a shot, or two. So she poured them and downed them instantly, needing herself to calm down.
After that moment, it felt like everything had gotten even more intense. Maybe it was the sexual tension suffocating them whilst they were in the same room and she wondered if their friends around them could feel it too.
Alex would come up behind her and hug her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he rubbed circles on the skin that showed in between her black dress pants and her shirt. Ella would relax in his arms, drowning in his scent as she indulged in the sweetness of his touch.
He would press kisses to her face before he went anywhere, brushing his fingers on her arm or her waist as he walked past. She would turn over her shoulder to see him and scrunch her nose at him before leaving a peck on his cheek that made a toothy grin break out on his face.
She was drinking it all in, knowing that the next day, when her coworkers from the crew came over to the venue for the gig and later on they moved to the place they'd film at, she would force herself to distance herself from Alex just to appear professional and not have everyone talking and asking questions.
That's why that night, she was in front of the barricade beside Breana recording every single bit of the gig that her phone allowed her. He had noticed, of course he had, since he spent most of the time on stage looking at her so he decided to tease her for a bit.
"You ready? You recording?" Alex asked into the mic with his eyes on her and everyone in the crowd looked to their left to see her.
Her eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights so she just lowered her phone down with her signature pink cheeks.
He wanted to coo at her, "No, no. Record this one, it's your favorite." The singer added before he put the mic back on its stand and started playing 'Teddy Picker'.
She had recorded it all and when she went back to see the videos before falling asleep, she found every glance he took at her forever captured, every point of his finger as he sang, every little dance of his that she knew where the one's she had made fun of him for. She had it all.
And just as she had predicted, the next and last day of the little tour had arrived, making her wake up melancholic. She savored every hug, every feel of his lips against her skin, every graze of his fingers on her body, before her bosses and coworkers got to the venue.
When the Focus Creep crew arrived, a few hours before the show, Alex instantly noticed the change in her behavior and he knew why that was, so he would respect it. He kept to stolen glances and fleeting touches, no constant kisses on her cheek or her temple, no hugging her every chance he got but definitely some embraces here and there.
The limited affection had already sparked questions and talks from her coworkers so he understood her position, which he had heard in echoes and passing comments, and on top of that was Ben who attentively was watching them and then smirking at Alex like he knew exactly what was happening.
Ella had decided to be a part of the crowd that night, standing almost in the middle of the crowd, about five rows from the barricade but she had a perfect view of the stage so she wasn't complaining. Some of her friends from work stood beside her and Breana did too, they all had a drink in hand, sipping absentmindedly as they waited for the show to start.
When they had all finished their drinks is when the band had gone on stage, causing the sea of people to push forward and make her stumble. He had found her in between all the faces fairly quickly, winking at her before greeting the audience and starting the gig.
She knew by then that the sixth song was always one he would sing looking at her since she loved it, so before they were due to start it she puckered up and blew a cheeky kiss to him when his eyes had landed on her.
He smiled before puckering up himself and blowing her multiple kisses. Bre shook her by her shoulders and shrieked in her ear very not subtly, making her wince inside but her smile couldn't be brighter and she couldn't care less if her work friends had seen, because she was incredibly happy.
She was sure by the end of the night she'd grow the courage to properly kiss him. Finally.
So with that goal set in her mind, she kept going about her night with a smile and a skip in her step. She had a beaming smile on her face even as she picked her blue clipboard and saw the massive list of things she had to make sure were in order for the shoot.
The location in which they were filming had only been ten minutes away, and they had come to it almost ready. There was a car which looked the exact same as the one on the Black Treacle music video and about twenty feet in front of it, by the end of a dirt trail, was a circular spinning platform that was homing a drum kit made to look exactly like Matt's on stage.
Around the place were tents in which Matt and Alex were being touched up to be ready for filming, and two tents down the row from the lads were the models getting their makeup done and changed into costume. Caroline and Arielle were the lovely models and Ella had just introduced herself to them before she got called away by one of the camera men.
When Ella went back to the tents to check up on the models, she walked past Alex and Arielle chatting away a few feet away from the tents and beside the big lights that were up around the site, soft smiles on both their faces as they dove into conversation. She felt a small pinch in her chest, one that she decided to ignore the best she could because Alex was a nice person, he was kind and welcoming and she had no reason to feel and react that way at the fact that he was only talking to someone else who she had heard was his friend.
Her feet took her to check up on Caroline who was almost ready, and Matt who was getting his hair fixed. She instructed both of them to go back into the filming area as soon as they were done so the filming could be started.
After that she left to go stand beside Nick, talking to him about random stuff like how long it usually took the crew to set up shoots like that or how Nick had been doing with the wedding planning as she'd heard him on the phone in the morning with Kelly.
When the four people who were gonna appear in the video were ready, Ella told them to follow her up to the directors. Ben and Aaron told them they would rehearse a few goes before properly filming the whole thing, since it was a single-shot video and it would be filmed by Alex and Matt at the start.
First went Alex and Matt, to get instructed exactly what they should do when they got in the car and how they got out, the musicians brainstorming the things they could do whilst they filmed themselves in the car.
As they went over and over again, for about six or seven times, Ella had been standing next to Arielle. They had been talking about lots of things: Arielle's modeling career, Ella's photography hobby, how Arielle had been auditioning for a few commercials and small acting gigs, how Ella had moved to LA and a year later landed a job with Ben and Aaron. The girls had gotten on fairly well, following each other on Instagram and laughing about the things Alex and Matt were doing in front of the camera.
After that, Ella got called over as the two brits got let off after almost half an hour. Matt had gotten off the car and gave her a smile, Alex side hugged her quickly before walking off with the drummer. She had smiled back at him when he let go but he missed it as his eyes were set on the model standing a few feet behind the PA, his smile being directed towards Arielle rather than her.
She had had to act cool, as if that minimal detail wasn't begging to claim her every thought, nodding as her bosses told her to stay close and annotate as they gave instructions to the crew on set.
Someone drove the car back down the dirt trail, Ben guiding the two cameramen on the angles he wanted to be captured and the setting on the light. Ella had helped move some of the lights, her eyes focused on Aaron as he moved his hands from side to side and sometimes rotating them.
Her eyes had slipped in Alex's direction a fair few times and she had noticed just how much closer Arielle and him looked, as they didn't leave each other's side even if she got called over by the makeup department or he was called over by Ben to ask if he was alright with that angle and the timing.
By the time she was done with the lights, Ella had gotten sent to check if the platform was spinning correctly, she pressed the button and as she heard it turn she also heard Alex's voice a tad louder than the creaks of the spinning object.
"So have you got a map?" He asked Arielle, his shoulder brushing the model's.
Arielle frowned with a smile on her face, "Of LA?" The singer nodded quickly, "No I don't, why?" she had asked back just as quickly.
"Just wanted one 'cause I keep getting lost in your eyes." Hiss tone was cheeky, and Arielle let out a bubbly laugh. Her perfect smile on full display as she nudged Alex's shoulder with hers.
"That was a nice one." Arielle had replied back, still smiling hard at him.
Ella had spun the platform back around by the time she had heard the end of the interaction and she rolled her eyes before walking back to the directors. She couldn't be annoyed though, she had no right to be, he was probably just being funny like he always was.
Breathe in, breathe out, she told herself.
As the directors went over to Nick to tell him exactly how he'd be sitting in the back between the two models, Matt came to stand beside Ella. Her eyes were glued to the scene in front of her as Arielle was still very much stuck beside the singer and he was leaning into her more and more making her laugh.
"Seems like you make a great matchmaker." lightheartedly joked the drummer, looking at the same thing she was.
She frowned, confused as she turned to Matt, "What do you mean?" Matt pointed at Alex and Arielle with a tilt of his chin and she frowned even deeper before adding, "It wasn't my decision to choose her."
It was Matt's turn to frown then, "Whose was it then?"
"Well I was told by your team she was selected by you because you already knew her."
Matt sighed, "We've seen her a couple times in artists sections in festivals, yes, but the only one who was a slight bit more of an acquaintance with her is Alex."
Ella hummed, "That answers the question then, doesn't it?" She finished up, a tight lip smile that was way too forced and Matt started to feel bad. It got worse when Arielle broke out in a very loud laugh that had Alex covering her mouth with his hand, fully hugging her as they swayed from her weak attempts to break from his hold.
Ella's heart was sinking, but she had to remind herself she had no leg to stand on to go and complain about his behavior, to be openly jealous about it because nothing serious had happened between her and Alex. At least not serious enough for him, if he was going around acting this way with Arielle after being so close with her the week before.
Ben called everyone to their places, meaning Ella saw Arielle and Alex separate for the first time in thirty minutes. She had no idea what to think anymore, the way he was acting with the model reminded her how he was with her and she hated it.
She tried to push it in her mind that he and Arielle were friends already, so maybe there was a trust to act that way with each other. She tried, but it did nothing to the way her guts twisted at the image of those two together like that.
They did one take but something had seemed off from the cameras, the settings seemed too different from the car to the outside shot so the directors got to fixing it up the quickest they could after they yelled cut.
Out of the corner of her eye she had caught Alex and Arielle leaving for the furthest tent and getting behind it, her giggles could be heard as they walked away from everyone and she slowly felt like she was going to be sick.
It took about ten minutes to get it all sorted out, Ben's voice called everyone up again to start filming again and everyone listened. Aaron called the models in first, giving them a second rundown of their duties and how they should get in frame. As the director talked, Alex had walked over to Ella and hugged her from behind like he had gotten used to throughout the tour.
Ella hadn't want anything more than that, as she had been deprived of his touch for a fair while since they had gotten to the set, but when she tried to relax into his chest and rest her head on his shoulder, she had smelt the model's perfume and it had make her freeze in her spot. Alex had felt her tense up but brushed it off, his mind too aware that he had the attention of two stunning women and it had gotten his ego boosted up a little too high.
She didn't reciprocate the embrace like before: only one of her hands on top of his, her back inches apart from his chest, her head not weighing down on his shoulder, no kisses on his cheek, no cheeky glances or nose scrunches. But he didn't really wonder about it since he was too busy staring at the other American girl that was dressed in costume right in front of him. A few seconds later, he got called over and he easily let go of Ella, leaving her with a faint squeeze of her waist.
She had noticed how enthusiastic he got every time he was able to get back beside the model, always a smirk on his face as he kept brushing shoulders with her or whispering things in her ear before he got in the car for each take.
Alex was looking amazing for the shoot as well, meaning Ella could see Arielle so painfully obvious checking Alex out and him doing the same to the model when she turned around.
It was probably the twelfth official take they had done, almost running off of the flares the models walked with to the drum kit as they kept repeating the video over and over. The new song that she had already learned the lyrics to, now completely engraved in her mind since they had it playing on loop with almost no breaks in between each play.
The question now replayed in her mind, bringing back memories. Are you mine? His gaze stuck on hers while singing the chorus. Are you mine? Her wink after she sang 'are you mine tomorrow? Or just mine tonight' that night at the very last gig, making his smirk grow and a tinge of blush show on his face. Are you mine? His eyes no longer on her now, but stuck on Arielle even when he had her in his arms. Are you mine? Ella just wanted to turn the song off to stop it all coming to the forefront of her mind.
They were about to start the thirteenth take, after the directors went over the last bit of footage the last take had given them, when she walked past the quiet place Arielle and Alex were cooped up in. It was near a corner, behind a line of four big lights and away enough from everyone from the crew. Ella had been walking around the site, the edges of it taking her straight behind them, and that's why she had heard them.
"I've got another question..." Alex had started with that tone that meant he was gonna say one of his cheesy flirt lines and Ella just had to stay and listen to what he'd say, she thought her head was cooler by then and she might find it funny but she had no idea what she was about to get. "How does it feel like being the most gorgeous girl in the room?"
Ella's blood ran cold then, the familiar words coming back to her like a bucket of ice cold water and as Arielle giggled and leaned into him touching his arm, she felt herself feeling faint.
She didn't even think about her following actions, as she scoffed much louder than she anticipated but still quiet enough for it to only be heard by her and the other two. Her feet took her faster than she was thinking, accidentally barging into Alex's shoulder as she made a beeline towards her bosses.
He whipped his head around so fast, forgetting about the model beside him and catching a glimpse of Ella's pale complexion. But his worry was brief as he turned back around to the model, who was now fully leaning into him to continue flirting with him. A smile broke out on his face, seeing Arielle's reaction.
Ella felt like those fifteen feet of walk had actually been a whole mile, her heart hammering in her chest as if trying to keep her up until she could finally break down. As soon as she got beside Ben, she tapped his shoulder. The man saw her worried face, the lack of color on it and he got preoccupied.
"Are you alright Ella?" Ben asked softly, his inquiry making Aaron pause what he was doing to check on their PA.
She sighed, feeling everything coming up her throat and wanting to leave her body. "I'm not feeling well guys, I– I, uhm, I think it would be better if I just go home."
Aaron nodded, they didn't have much left anyways and Ella was so dedicated to her job, they knew that if she was asking to leave, it was because of something serious. "Of course, you have a way to get home?"
She thought about her car, being parked at the hotel an hour away from home but she'd take a taxi. She didn't care anymore, she just didn't want to be there. "Yes, someone is coming to get me, don't worry."
And just like that they let her go. She practically ran to the Monkeys' tour bus to retrieve everything she had there, and she thanked the fact that Bre had to leave right after the show for having encouraged her to have her suitcase ready well before the gig.
Ella called a cab company and told them to pick her up at a McDonald's that was a block away. As she walked, she felt like she wanted to cry and it infuriated her even more. Because why would she cry? They weren't anything at all, a date didn't mean shit apparently and much less would the touches they shared.
She cursed herself for getting attached when she knew she shouldn't have. It all came back to who they were, even if he hadn't done what he had that night, by the end of it she'd be getting dropped off at her house and he'd be leaving to travel around the world. It would've never worked out.
When she remembered how she had strived to properly kiss him goodbye that night, before they parted ways once again, she allowed herself to let the tears fall. And she cried on the way back home, when she saw their photo booth pictures sticking out of the inside pocket of her purse.
She wanted to throw it away but she couldn't, that's what she did when somebody hurt her: cling onto every last beautiful thing they gave her even if the memory stung like a wound being sprayed with salt. She was half tempted to burn it as she lit the cigarette she had just placed between her lips before finding the pictures but when she flipped it, she found something written down.
'only the sweetest of dreams for you, miss tennessee xxxx'
It came over her how every sweet memory of him would taste bitter now, and how it would up until the moment she'd finally decide she was over it. And that's when it all started tasting more bitter, and then it turned sour and her sadness turned into anger.
The audacity he had had, to just drop her like a toy he had gotten bored of, and maybe he had had other intentions but seeing how shy she was and how he wasn't getting anywhere, he decided to change her the first chance he got.
And there it was, that feeling of being so easily replaceable dawning over her head like the darkest cloud in the sky that swore to bring the heaviest precipitation of the year. The heartache she had felt when she got cheated over by the one person she swore was the one, and it was insane to her how she could feel a similar way about someone she knew for so little doing her wrong too. But she couldn't downplay it either, not when it opened a wound back up that had taken so long to close.
In her head she was asking herself repeatedly, 'am I that easy to replace?' until each word lost its meaning but the feeling was still the same, if not worse.
She cried a little more when she got home, feeling the familiar walls like an embrace that she longed for. The tears were falling as she showered, slowly and without permission, making her wipe them with more force than necessary, leaving her cheeks red raw. But it had been slightly relieving to cry under the shower for she confused her tears with the water falling over her and it made her feel less pathetic.
By the time she was out of the shower and she slowly finished getting ready to sleep, the filming had been wrapped up. The crew were quick to pick everything up and load it into the production company's coach.
Matt walked over to Alex, who was too busy staring at Arielle's ass as she walked away to get out of costume that he didn't notice his presence until he cleared his throat.
"Y'Alright?" asked Matt, still confused about his friend's antics throughout the day.
Alex nodded with a tight lip smile, "You?"
"Wonderful." The drummer answered, a slight hint of irony in his voice that the singer decided to ignore.
The both of them had stayed quiet, watching the organized chaos going around. And it wasn't until Alex saw Ben with Ella's blue clipboard as he waved goodbye to them that he realized she was nowhere to be seen.
"Where's Ella?" The singer seemed worried, it dawning on him then how he hadn't seen her since she barged into him.
Matt shrugged, "Dunno. She left running earlier and the driver said she got her case from the bus."
Alex's heart dropped, thinking about all the endless possibilities of something happening to her, "I'm gonna text her and see if she's okay."
"Well, she probably isn't after she's played cupid against herself." Matt sassily replied.
Alex frowned, "What do you mean?"
Matt sighed, almost annoyed at his best mate's lack of common sense, "Mate, there was something there between you two after Valentine's day, and tonight you've just gone and switched her for Arielle."
"No I haven't. Me and Arielle, that's just banter." He explained back like it was obvious.
The drummer didn't want to get deeper into the situation, he had already said what he had seen and all that was left was for his friend to realize so, "Whatever you say Al." was all he mustered before leaving him, going straight back to their tour bus.
Ten minutes Alex was left thinking, taking the first few minutes to text Ella and the rest to thoroughly think about what Matt had just said. He knew she must've heard him talking to Arielle and maybe it wasn't the best of things to listen to after everything that had happened during the past week but it was just lighthearted banter to him, a joke to keep them entertained during the filming process.
It was all a misunderstanding and he would tell her if that's what she had gotten upset over. Surely it has to be something else though, he thought.
(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x
(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx
(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx
(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx
(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx
Their drive to LAX had been going fine. They were relatively quiet in comparison to how they usually were but it was because they were tired: the days of tour, driving and walking around plus the late night filming had caught up to them. Alex was mixing his concern about Ella with his exhaustion making it even worse, the sways of the tour bus not helping with the headache he could feel brewing in the back of his skull.
Alex's thoughts were interrupted then by Matt laughing at his phone, the light of his device reflecting on his eyes.
(16/02/2012 23:32) Is everything good Ella? Saw you running to leave the set.
(16/02/2012 23:48) Everything is good Matt! Sorry for leaving like that and not saying bye, I was feeling kinda sick and I couldn't keep it together any longer. (Feel like a bitch for not saying goodbye knowing I'm not going to see you for god knows how long :()
(16/02/2012 23:48) Yeah probably not the best to have you projectile vomiting in the middle of our music video!! (You don't have to feel like one, you're one already xxxx)
(16/02/2012 23:49) You're the absolute worst...
(16/02/2012 23:49) HAHA love you Ellie!! Hope to see you very soon xx
(16/02/2012 23:49) Love you too dickhead. See you soon xx
Before Alex could complain about the unnecessary noise coming from Matt, he informed them all, "Ella's fine, she was just feeling ill." which made Alex snap his eyes open to look at him.
Jamie snorted then, cheekily suggesting, "Ask her if she's sure she isn't pregnant."
Leaning over Matt's shoulders, Nick and Jamie started laughing as the drummer's fingers started typing what the guitarist had said.
Alex frowned, not only at his friends acting like kids but at the fact that Ella had replied to Matt and not him. There wasn't a day she didn't reply to him within minutes if she was awake. He thought for a second then that he might've gotten a reply but hadn't noticed it, so to make sure he unlocked his phone.
But he hadn't expected what he saw, and he thought back to what Matt had said and just how bad of a confusion the end of the night had been when he was met with the proof that she had just plainly ignored him.
(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x
(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx
(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx
(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx
(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx
read at 23:41
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A/N: Uh oh... Well now I don't even know if I should ask if you liked it hahaha, but I really hope you did. Shit only gets more interesting from here so I hope you lot are just as eager as me to see how it unfolds. Thanks a million for reading, I appreciate it so much!! I hope you have the best weekend and I'll see you April 7th for the next one xx
Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @red---moon @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc
#alex turner#alex turner x reader#alex#turner#arctic monkeys#alex turner arctic monkeys#alex turner fanfiction#alex turner fanfic#alex turner fluff#alex turner one shot#alex turner blurb#alex turner drabble#alex turner imagine#alex turner x you#alex turner x y/n#matt helders#nick omalley#jamie cook
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Hit pieces
so like you know they guys who were 'NOOO Magneto can't be zionist😭"
One of them is Calina who used to reblog tikkunolamresistance claimed to go to every protest that she helped and Gazan family and they all happily celebrated Hannukah together even though many Gazans have religious trauma and would ABSOLUTELY NOT (Juju has a whole post about this)
Listen I've talked to palestineans, I'm more scared of white people but many Palestineans do not feel safe around Jews
I call bullshit on your saviourism and orientalism and you all celebrating hannukah (Hannukah too the most culturally christian holiday) happily when most Gazans can't even look at a Magen David. It's all too neat all too Norman Rockwell "can't we all get along". How did they fit in your house with your roomate? how did you feed them? Do they all smoke weed?
I mean he HAS (in X-men 2). So has Charles in the comics. So has Jean, she was even executed for it. That said this is a microaggression to make someone not enjoy the thing they like
Cope and seethe that others interpret him differently
Calina ignores basic comic history to suit her needs
seems blind to the irony of this statement when you do the same with literally all other Jews
Oh nOOO him wagging his finger at the ambassodor and telling her to do better means he wants Israel to be destroyed and stop it's wars. He was former Mossad he's telling her tactics are bad and the country is shit at keeping peace
"He's atheist so he sees through the lies of Israel and how they mistreated him" How anti theist of you. that's NOT what he says on panel. you're trotting out the "Israel mistreats holocaust survivors". In claremont's comics survivors are treated really well, sometimes comics don't match up with real life such as a boy has lazer beams or friendship can undo brainwashing.
"he lived their briefly" ah yes a few years is brief. He lived in Israel longer than he lived in Vinnistsya and his toddler daugther had time to be born and raised there before dying in a pogrom. Which WHY he moved to Israel
"he only lived there to track down nazis" NO CALINA, he lived because HE HAD NO WHERE ELSE TO GO. YOU REBLOGGED MY ESSAY ON THAT back when we were friends? don't you remember my talking points, old friend?
"Zionism isn't Judiasm" yes but his Judiasm is only ever spoken of in forms of his allegorical zionist
"I only blorbofy fictional war criminals" Honey you support TOR who suppurted ALL the terror orgs. You very much DO support real life war criminals
you even admit it.
while cannibal mostly writes porn so I thought it was "NOOO you put politics in my smut and actions comics" but Get this
he has a story about a Jewish character leaving to seek freedom in a town that's safe for Jews and Mutants alike in the wild west sounds like a "Put Israel in Alaska" story to me. Sir you 20K words of "zionism is fine if it displaces native americans instead of palestineans"
proof I didn't make this up:
last tag
you made this goy a Jew and had him go on an exodus but bitch about real life Jews? fuck off, hypocrite
nothing these two grifters can say should be taken at face value
#leftist antisemitism#media antisemtism#tankie punks fuck off#fandomization#fetishization#grifters gonna grift
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Addicted to You
Pairing: Mob Boss! Sam Wilson x Reader
Word Count: 932
Warnings: 18+ As always, MINORS DNI, Not Beta’d. All mistakes my own. Angst, Allusions to danger, talk of addiction, but not really. Substance use, partying, fake friendships, toxic parents, a sad, famous life, pining, peeing while on the phone, request for rough sex, Sam has a big soft spot for reader despite who she is, Rumlow! reader.
A/N: No one asked for this, but this is in the same AU as Try a Little Tenderness and The Representative. The AU is called This Thing of Ours.
I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post.
I Do NOT consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
——-
You were bored beyond measure.
There was also an indeterminate itch under your skin that you needed to scratch.
It happened every time you were in New York.
Like an addict, proximity to your drug of choice had you quietly feening, even though you’d found some safer, more life affirming substitutes.
The paparazzi swarmed you and your girls, and you gave them face although you were behind your designer sunglasses.
You knew that your body, clad in a skintight exclusive dress, the faux fur dripping off your arms, and the 24 inch weave flowing down your shoulders was what they were paid for.
The photogs called your name, ignoring the beauty of the crew around you as you entered the club.
Despite that, your girls bubbled up at the sight of the exclusive club and the other famous faces that turned to stare at you. The owner came over to greet you and lead you up to the VIP. Once settled, the popping of bottles commenced.
You knew why the girls around you stayed close, but you played the bestie game so as not to be alone.
Because that would mean you’d have to think.
“Damnnn… Y/N! That one guy from TMZ sure was sweating where D was tonight. You’d think he was dating him.”
The way Starr cut her eyes at you confirmed that she was the one sweating your latest beau.
You pulled out the phone that had your face plastered all over Times Square with ads and threw it on the table.
“Well maybe I should have let him answer my phone, because D has been blowing me up all night.”
Starr picked up the phone and scrolled through your notifications as Eve looked over her shoulder.
“Dammmm Son!” Eve shouted. “You got this man quadruple texting and shit, and calling too? Yo! Teach me the ways of that golden pussy.”
You laughed, flipped her off and took another drink of champagne.
You didn’t tell them any of what your other taught you. Ways to get a man and keep him, things to say and what not to say, how to eat, keep fit, but still make it all look natural. And yes, pointers on what to do in bed. Your mother was a piece of work, but she was sitting in a life of ease now. Even if her husband was a grade A asshole.
Your mother worked her way from being a drug runner’s girl to being the famous wife of a celebrated television personality, whom everyone (who didn’t know him personally) loved. He was everyone's uncle, and a multimillionaire.
Once the bag was secured, your mother made him adopt you, even though you were already 19, stating that because your father was dead, it was only right. But you knew it was only to have his powerful last name.
You carried the name around with you like the Hope diamond, and it allowed you access to handsome and talented musicians and rappers and actors for the last 8 years.
You were your mother’s dream, and your stepfather's prize. But you would always be a Rumlow at heart.
You were a gangsta.
Kiki’ing with the girls only fostered your boredom so you got wasted, literally dancing on the tables as the wee hours approached.
Around 2 am, you stumbled to the bathroom by yourself, your girls all wasted or having been picked up by the club’s clientele.
Once safe in a stall, and while you were peeing, you pulled your real phone out of your purse.
You closed your eyes and prayed as it rang. His sleepy voice answered.
“‘Lo.”
He sounded unsurprised at your call.
“Come get me baby. I’m at Knack. In SoHo.”
There were a few seconds of silence.
“What would your man have to say about that?”
You sucked your teeth.
“Now I know you’re not worried about him. Did you mean my brother? Brock?”
“You mean your half brother? Rumlow? Fuck him.”
You wiped and flushed the toilet.
“Why do you always call me when you’re in the bathroom?”
You heard rustling as he asked the question and your heart leapt that he might be getting dressed.
“Because what you and I have is so intimate, baby.”
You used your sexiest, sluttiest voice in him as you checked your makeup in the mirror. Of course it didn’t work. He laughed.
“Or maybe it’s because you’re full of shit. Meet me out behind the kitchen in 20 minutes.”
——
20 minutes later, a black R8 pulled up outside the kitchen entrance. All of the kitchen crew bid you goodnight as you climbed into the passenger seat. You’d spent the time waiting learning how to make risotto.
The car pulled out and headed toward Brooklyn. You greeted your man. Well, your man in your head.
“Damn, Baby. You smell so good.”
Sam’s gap-toothed grin did you in, as well as the side eye he gave you. He looked over at you and shook his head.
“You’re gonna be the death of me.”
You watched the muscles in his arm as he shifted gears.
“Literally.”
“Don’t be like that Sammy. Just take me to your place and fuck me real good. Hard. All night long. Make me forget my name.”
Your hand was on his muscular thigh and moving north. You told yourself that you craved his control, his hand on the column of your throat while he filled you to the brim.
Sam cleared his throat, clearly tempted. Then he moved your hand back to your lap, and again shook his head. He knew what you said you wanted, but he also knew what you needed.
“No. You’re wasted. What you can do is sleep in my bed tonight.”
He glanced over as you pouted and pretended to be mad.
But a night in Sam Wilson’s arms was the fix you’d been needing.
#sam wilson x black!reader#sam wilson#sam wilson imagine#sam wilson x reader#sam wilson x you#sam wilson x y/n#mob boss! sam wilson#mon boss! sam wilson x Rumlow! reader#this thing of ours au
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