#they belong to some very lovely people here on the internet with me

[transfaulkner]

the honorable crew of the research vessel eve, set out 17-- bound for the arctic circle.

(id in alt text!)

[candyskiez]

so, you've heard shows be recommended because they had gay characters. you don't really know what they're actually about though, and don't know if they'd be something you'd be into and are worried about spoilers. here's spoiler free plot summaries of em!

The Owl House

The Owl House starts out as a typical teenage girl goes into a fantasy realm story, but with a twist. Actions have consequences. The protagonist is a girl named Luz Noceda, who was being sent to a camp to make her behave normally by her mother after causing too much trouble at school. She ends up finding a place she's always dreamed of: a fantasy world. A world where everyone's so much weirder than she is. And she thinks, maybe if I don't belong out there, maybe people will like me here. Maybe I can be special here.

It's a story about found family, propaganda, erased history, living with disability, religious trauma, and neurodivergence. It's fundamentally a show about people who's brains work differently finding each other and making a family that treats them right. Definitely my favorite of the ones on this list. It's about people who've been oppressed being pissed about it and about finding yourself again after giving up on everyone around you for so long. It's basically a show about being a minority and trying to be understood and to understand yourself in the process. It's about growing up neurodivergent and how isolating it feels and figuring yourself out. It's about repairing broken relationships and parents who fuck up. And it's just. Such a love letter to anyone who was the weird kid in school. It's sad and heartbreaking and also so hopeful, and it's wonderful.

Content warnings: Abuse, Death, Grief, Animal Death, Suicidal thoughts, Vague suicide attempts, Depression, blink and you'll miss it s/h, body horror, religious trauma

She Ra and the Princesses Of Power

Adora was raised in the Horde since she was a baby, being fed propaganda about how cruel the princesses were. After learning how the horde actually was, though, she defects. But there's one problem. Her best friend, Catra, stays behind. Adora finds a sword that can transform her into She Ra, and might be the key to figuring out who she really is, while Catra takes her place as force captain.

It's a story about abuse, at the end of the day. Adora and Catra were stuck in a golden child and scapegoat dynamic, despite how much they care about each other. This leads to them knowing everything about each other but not understanding it. There's a fundamental disconnect between them, because both of their traumas are completely different. They have complete misconceptions about each other. Even in their initial split, they both have completely different perceptions of what's going on and why the other is upset. It's not a story about magic princesses, it's about the cycle of abuse and what makes it so complicated. Does it have flaws? Yeah. But ultimately I really really enjoy it, and when it does something right it does something RIGHT. Get through season one, it starts kids show-y but it gets very good during later s1.

Content warnings: Abuse (obviously), body horror, gaslighting (and I mean actual gaslighting, not what the Internet thinks gaslighting is), suicide, depression, flashing lights and eyestrain during the finale

Steven Universe

Steven Universe is a sins of the father story. Steven is the son of the leader of the rebel group The Crystal Gems, who's name was Rose Quartz. He navigates the confusion of being half gem and half human, as well as trying to figure out the mess of the rebellion and what his mother left behind. He's constantly in her shadow, for better or for worse.

It's a story about grief. How it impacts relationships, how it taints history, how it impacts family. It has some definite flaws, but ultimately it's about very flawed people who have lost so many people in their life trying to cope with it. Trying to handle what they lost and trying to adjust to life without them. It's about how expectations fuck a kid up and about agency and just a show about complicated relationships in general, at the end of the day. Also, it has some FANTASTIC music.

Content warnings: Grief, Abuse, body horror, very creepy people I don't know how to tag, heavy allegories for homophobia

Nimona

Nimona is a story about a guy who gets framed for murder. His name is Ballister Boldheart, a commoner who hoped to become a knight. It seemed everyone was waiting to watch him fail, so it was no surprise when he was the immediate target. Heavily injured and away from the man he loves, he's left alone trying to figure out a way to prove his innocence- until a strange kid comes into his life. This kids name is Nimona, and while he is intent on proving his innocence, she gave up on being anything but a villain a long time ago.

It's about deconstructing the model minority myth, trans rage, propaganda, and with a healthy dose of "FUCK the police".

Content warnings: Heavy injury, on screen suicide attempt, flashing lights

feel free to add more shows! just remember to keep the summaries as spoiler free as you can and add content warnings!

[headspace-hotel]

some times i see people talking about the Earth and climate change saying things like "now i know it is difficult to deal with utter hopelessness, terror, and visiting the thoughts of death"

and it's like wow I am so deeply sorry about the suffering. but...concern. Concern. Tell me, am I missing something important? Why do I feel a sense of hope for our planet? Am I a lonely fool? Have I been consumed by naïveté and misguided optimism?

That would be weird. It feels weird. It feels like I would be well suited to despair. My natural temperament is Mortal Terror making my body crushed for a thousand years at the bottom of the deepest trenches of the ocean. I've thought before "I can't live any more. This exceeds the tensile strength of the human spirit."

And then? After irreversible catastrophic failure of the soul, there is...what?

We try to imagine the future where we fight to save our home and it is very painful. The resistance feels so small and the machine of death feels so vast. But something's missing.

Everyone else is missing—the plants, trees, bugs, beasts, and creatures. Hello? Are the other humans seeing this? Nature wants you to know that she is not a princess in a tower. Look! Look at the chaos moving through every cell! Iterating! Adapting! Becoming! Thriving! Watch the pollinators tirelessly at work, observe the mycorrhizal network in the forest floor distributing the rich fruits of decay and photosynthesis for every inhabitant! Pay attention! We belong here too. They feed and shelter us, give us the very air we breathe, and in return we plant and propagate, cull, thin, and burn, shape, trample, till, shepherd and sprout seeds. Our species can look toward the future, to the world of our descendants. We can call every plant and animal by name and teach our children to use and care for them responsibly. We can feel this anger, pain, and grief on behalf of the family of Life, OUR family, and we can love the smallest beetle and the humblest moss.

Look at it! This thing is nothing like me, it does not benefit me, it has no use or purpose for me, but LOOK at it! Look at its intricate structure! Look at the marvelousness of its behaviors and biological functions! Look at its uniqueness throughout the whole universe! Look at it, and see its infinite value!

I saved a baby tree from the scorching hot gravel of a parking lot. I watched it grow and thrive in the hands of its caretaker. Many more followed, trees and herbs and flowers, rescued and carefully placed in cups and old tubs that once held yogurt and sour cream. This is so strange, I thought. They're everywhere, offering themselves for free, and no one thinks to take them. Everyone thinks transplanting a tree is hard and that nothing grows on the edge of the pavement but weeds. But it's so easy??? This is weird. Plant Nurseries Hate Her: Get Free Plants With This One Weird Trick.

I protected an old barren garden patch where nothing had thrived from being mowed and weed-whacked, and transplanted little plants that I found. I marveled at the bees that came. Chicory bloomed, then asters and goldenrod. I shed actual tears over a spicebush swallowtail. I ordered some milkweed from the internet, and the monarchs came for them. Less then twenty-five bucks for a divine experience like this. Wow, everyone else really needs to know!

I started volunteering at a nature center, and was allowed to transplant flowers where they sprouted in inopportune locations. I collected tons of seeds all fall and winter long.

There is much, much more, all of it bigger than I ever would have imagined. But this spring there were more birds, in number and in species, than I'd ever seen in my back yard before. Chickadees, swallows, finches, nuthatches, jays, cardinals, warblers, sparrows, woodpeckers of every kind...I remembered just a couple years prior when all I ever saw out there was a couple grackles or starlings or robins, with the occasional sparrow. Those birds come in flocks rather than couples now. And then the bumblebee arrived. An American bumblebee, endangered now, a queen. For a few days she was always out there, would fly out and buzz around me when I came out to tend to my now-innumerable plants. It's nesting time for them. She chose this place I was creating. She saw that this place would take care of her.

A week ago, I discovered wild strawberries growing in my Mamaw's driveway. I found lyreleaf sage growing beside a gravel road. I've become a master of transplanting; I took several of each home. Yesterday, I saw a tiny, metallic blue bee, an Osmia mason bee. Today, I saw an oriole and a strange, very fancy fly. I see something new almost every day. Every day I am being irreversibly changed as a person. How did I ever fail to see how much this matters?

I said I feel hope...do I feel it? I don't think it's a feeling, I think it's a practice. It's being part of our communities and our ecosystems. Nature's interconnectedness is both reality and example: to survive, we take care of one another. And when one member of the community helps another thrive, it creates a cascade that increases the thriving of all. Just by existing, you help us all survive.

You can only take care of so many plants before you have to give some away. You can only hold so much knowledge before you have to give it away. I gave seeds to a dozen different flowers to my next-door neighbor and she invited me inside and wouldn't let me leave without food, and we talked about plants and trees. A family friend lets me have goats' milk and heirloom vegetables in exchange for help around the farm, and I listen to him talk about trees, bugs, and soil and learn so much I feel like I'm about to explode from knowledge.

Being a caretaker is unavoidably a community-oriented, community-forming thing. You can't grow plants all by yourself. Your garden will make too many tomatoes. Share them. Your milkweed will make hundreds and hundreds of seeds. Spread them. Wild blackberries invite you to take and eat. Your lonely retired neighbor invites you to talk and keep her company. Once you grow delicious fruits or little oak trees, you always have a reason to greet someone and say, "Look, it is a gift!"

We're not alone. We are not separate. We take care of each other. Every species, every individual. A single action of caretaking creates a cascade effect of thriving. A single unapologetic love for a creature creates a blossom of curiosity and fascination in everyone surrounding. It's so powerful.

As my chemical romance says "I am not afraid to keep on living"

[milaisreading]

Isagi sister y/n x Sae? She was in love with y/n for a long time and he was planning to confess to her. While all this time y/n was thinking that Sae was gay for Shidou after she saw their matches together. When he confessed to her, y/n told him that isn't he is gay for Shidou.

🌱🩷: I was supposed to be studying this morning, but your idea was funny so I had to write it. Thanks for the request!

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

"Hmmm..." Sae muttered as he looked at the screen of his phone. Over the past few days that was how most people could find him, just sitting and looking at his phone. From time to time, his expressions would change, but that was only if you looked at him fast enough. A lot of people might say it was pre-final game jitters, but whoever knew Sae enough knew that wasn't true. Rin, Isagi, and Shidou would sometimes ask if je was ok, but all they would get is a short nod from him.

'I hope he won't be acting weird tonight. We really need to have his head in the game if we want to win the World cup.' Rin sighed as he received another short nod from Sae.

"What's up with Undereyelashes senior? Did you two have another fight?" Shidou snickered, earning an annoyed look from Rin. But, before the younger could yell back at him, Isagi stepped in between them. They didn't need all of this hours before their final game with Germany!

"Just calm down everyone. Let's leave Sae-san alone for now."

'Be honest when confessing, and also be smooth about it?' Sae frowned as he read through the guide.

'I hate these internet advice sites.' Sae groaned, putting the phone away and rubbing his eyes. He was tired, very tired from all the training, but also from keeping all these emotions under wrap for the past few months. Sae Itoshi wasn't someone who saw himself falling in love with anyone, heck, he never saw himself having a crush! But, here he was, hours before his final game at the World cup, he was busy figuring out a way to confess his feelings for (Y/n).

'This is ridiculous. I should have done this before the game. But, only if I win tonight will I see myself worthy of her.' Sae shook his head as a blush spread across his face.

"I will take a walk." The rehead muttered to himself as he walked out of the room Rin  Shidou, and he shared.

"Are you not nervous? The final game kept mom, dad, and I up all night." The older Itoshi froze in his footsteps as he heard the voice of the one person that's been haunting his thoughts for the past months.

'(Y/n)...' Sae gulped as he observed her and Yoichi's interaction.

"I was nervous days prior, now I am just numb to everything." Yoichi shrugged his shoulders as (Y/n) poked his cheek.

'Wish she would do that to me-Is that Yoichi's jersey she is wearing?!' Sae gulped as he noticed the familiar clothing item, which caused a weird wave of jealousy to hit him.

"Hm?" Feeling eyes on them, (Y/n) turned to look at Sae, and gave him a smile and wave.

"Sae-san! Ready for the game later?!"

Yoichi looked back as well, noticing the blush on the older's cheeks.

"You finally got out of your room?"

"Finally?" (Y/n) asked in confusion, but instead of getting an answer, the boy turned around and quickly walked away.

"Maybe he is nervous?" (Y/n) suggested, watching in sadness as Yoichi chuckled a little.

"Hard to imagine. He basically breaths football." He answered back, earning a nod from (Y/n).

'I think he might be panicking because him and Shidou are in the same team again. After all, I know all to well how it feels to be close to someone you love, but can't tell them that.' She thought as her expression fell a little.

'I wish he liked me like I like him. But, Shidou is the one he wants.'

"Let's go and get some food. I can't play on an empty stomach." Yoichi said as he pulled (Y/n) towards the exit.

"Sure..."

'Maybe,in another life he would like me back.'

Meanwhile, Sae was having a small breakdown in the bathroom.

'That smile... shit, it's so cute! She is so sweet and caring, how can one not fall for her.' Sae thought as he washed his face, hoping the cold water might help his blush.

"That smile, the voice, the eyes, everything is way too ethereal about her. I need to get this off of my chest as soon as possible." Sae took a few deep breaths.

"Shit, get your head into the game, Sae. You can't embarrass yourself in front of (Y/n) tonight."

A few hours later, the game was about to start. The stadium had a special euphoria haunting it, something neither the Japanese or German team felt before. Was it because it's the final game? Was it the loud cheers from the Japanese fans? They didn't know, but they definitely enjoyed it... some more than the others.

"Sae-chan! Ready for the game? You finally got off your high horse?!" Sae flinched as Shidou jumped on his back and yelled into his ear.

"Get off!" Sae yelled, shoving Shidou off of his back and looked back to where (Y/n) was sitting (he had to beg Yoichi to tell him where her seat was). Sending her a small wave, the girl returned it, then she looked back to where Yoichi was.

"YO-CHAN, DO YOUR BEST!!"

Sae sighed dreamily as he heard her yell, ignoring the small jealousy he felt for Yoichi at the moment.

'I wish she would cheer me on like that.'

"I WILL!!" Yoichi was heard yelling back, looking away from Kaiser for a moment.

"Hmm? Who is that? Your girlfriend?" Sae froze for a moment as he heard Kaiser's voice, then looked at the blonde, who had an amused smirk as he stared back at (Y/n).

'Don't look at her, you creep.' The redhead narrowed his eyes and walked over to where Kaiser and Yoichi were.

"Eww! That's my older sister, you dumbass." The blue-eyed boy cringed, which only amused Kaiser more.

"Even better, then. Hope the cutie will not faint from all the magnificent goals she is about to witness from me."

Hearing his words Yoichi recovered from his disgust and sent a warning glare in Kaiser's direction.

"Stay away from her."

"And if I don't?" Kaiser challenged as Sae arrived at Yoichi's side.

"Just shut up. The game is about to start."

Although his voice sounded monotone, that was far from what he felt inside.

It was a tiring 95 minutes of the game. With Sae, Rin, and Yoichi scoring on one side, and Kaiser and Ness on the other, but they made it. Neither the players or the fans could believe it. Japan actually won the Cup. The players of the Japanese team collapsed on the ground after Yoichi scored the final goal, too tired and excited to do much, while the fans were the ones erupting in screams of joy and crying.

"YOICHI!! YOU DID IT!!" The said boy laughed a little as (Y/n) ran up to give him a tight hug, tears streaming down her own face.

"I am so proud of you!" She cried out as Yoichi hugged her back.

"Thanks... without you and our parents' support I wouldn't be here." The boy said back as they separated.

"You are too humble." She pouted, but before she could say anything else, Sae interrupted the conversation.

"(Y/n), can I talk to you for a moment?" The boy asked, looking oddly nervous to the two siblings.

"Sure." She nodded her head as Sae led them to a more private area, or at least a spot where there were no cameras.

"What did you need? And congrats on winning! Your goal earlier was amazing!!" (Y/n) said, which boosted Sae's ego even more up.

"Thanks, glad that you liked it. But, I called you here to talk about something else."

"What is it?" (Y/n) wandered, part of her wanting to ask why he was with her, when he could be celebrating with Shidou.

'Maybe he needs dating advice?' She mused.

"I wanted to tell you this for a while now... I really like- I mean, love, I really love you."

(Y/n)'s eyes widened in shock and her face turned red as Sae continued.

"You are always so calm and kind to others, you were even kind to me after I acted like a jerk the first time we met. I am not really one to fall in love, I never imagined myself in this position, but I am glad that it is you who I fell for."

"Sae... wait, so... so you don't like Shidou-san?" She asked, trying to process everything. Sae stopped talking and looked at the girl in bewilderment.

"Why would I like him of all people?"

"It's just... you both look so close. And your interactions during the U-20 match, I thought that you like him..." (Y/n) admitted, nervously playing with her fingers. Sae was pretty much speechless for a good 2 minutes, ignoring everyone around himself as he sighed.

"I only love you. Shidou is a friend, I will admit that, but I don't see hin as anything more." Sae spoke as he took her hands into his. (Y/n) got more flustered as she avoided Sae's eyes for a moment, but eventually spoke up as well.

"I.... I love you as well. I have for a while now." She stuttered out while looking up at Sae. The boy felt a variety of emotions hit him, but the one that stood out the most was happiness. Pure, utter happiness.

"That makes you mine, from now on. And I will be yours." He said, kissing the embarrassed girl on the cheek.

"I am glad then." She laughed a little.

[robby-bobby-tommy]

It's once again a nighttime and I'm once again here with scene/character analysis.

As it's prominent from the last few post I'm a quite Ultra Magnus enjoyer, and I'm very upset at how people see him as heartless nerd. I see him as a person very damaged by the war. So here's some of my thoughts.

Ultra Magnus has a great problems with fitting in, because he forgot how to be in this kind of relationship and it's just depressing. For at least a century he has been in a war that took all his time for friends and especially family. And part of me thinks it is because Ultra Magnus is used to communication with orders. In "Evolution" we can see how he really tries to start a conversation, but all he knows now is orders and missions. And the next problem with him is he doesn't belong. He doesn't know what a family is, Wheeljack sends very clear messages that he is not welcomed to the Wreckers. Magnus felt completely isolated and this inability to make deeper connections than commander-soldier doesn't let him comprehend familial relationships. And I have some proofs.

The most important one is this line.

"The members of team prime are not cogs in a machine."

Why would Optimus use this particular line? It felt very meaningful and even as a non-english speaker, I felt it was very important for Ultra Magnus' character. So I went to Internet for the answer and I found this..

This one line opened a lot abt my boy. UM considers himself and team Prime through this war prism. "You are important,but we know how war is. Everyone can't survive. Sometimes you have to sacrifice something for a better outcome. Magnus doesn't think he's better than the rest of Team Prime, quite contrary, he holds himself by the same standards. I think Ultra Magnus sees himself as this metaphorical cog in a machine. He is important now, but if he isn't important in great scheme of things. This sounds like a very army type of mentality. He's prepared to die for a mission and sees little value in himself apart from weaponry and missions. So when Predaking had him and Wheeljack cornered he accepted it fairly quickly, yet was saddened with a thought of joining the allspark, especially with Wheeljack, whom he is to protect as his subordinate.

After Ultra Magnus wakes up, he's met with a lot of pleasant developments. Now he is fully accepted, Team Prime is by his side, and even Wheeljack drops this very meaningful line "Magnus fought like a wrecker"(=you're accepted in our group). And after finally asking OP about what was a Team Prime, he found out about a new concept, that basically breaks all his perceptions.

Family.

It isn't the army, or the elite guard where you are easily replaceable and aren't important. Now Ultra Magnus is family. And, forgive me for cliché, but you can't replace a family. They all are accepting each other and won't willingy leave someone behind for a brighter future.

I think if Ultra Magnus had more screen time his arc would be about relearning to care/connect in a deeper way and finding your own and others' importance, showcasing hardships of a soldier, trying to become more relaxed and closer to a people he knows and loves.

Or mb I just overanalyze one line¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Also UM and OP have this so sweet bond. Former is, being as socially awkward as he is, still being honest about his feelings and asking smt he doesn't understand. And Optimus completely trusts his lieutenant with the team family and is able to see when the other's uncomfortable/sad. I dunno, they're so brothers/friends. They're very close without having much interactions on screen.)

[jeremywhitley]

Here we are, six weeks later...

HEY!

So, in case you haven’t heard, our six week run on Love Unlimited following Gwenpool wrapped up today and...

and as much as I did write all of this and it is extremely important to me, I feel I really need to make sure you all know that this didn’t start with me.

To be completely accurate, it started with Chris Hastings and crew for creating such an amazing and nuanced character out of what could have only ever been a high concept and a cover gag. Not that the cover gag wasn’t good, but the statue that is revealed from that piece of marble over the course of The Unbelievable Gwenpool is truly astonishing.

Then, of course, there’s you. An audience of fans with an incredible love and passion for a character who also saw a lot of the quirks and experiences that we as people on the asexual spectrum experience and talked about it online.

Which is where the incredible @alannawrites, my editor, comes in. Alanna had been looking for an opportunity to tell a story about being ace in Marvel comics. We had kind of skimmed around the edges during Unstoppable Wasp, but ultimately being a character who owed so much to a movie franchise, there were a lot of nerves there. Gwen was not only a great opportunity to tell a story of a person hyper aware that they are in a story struggling with the tropes that affect their actual life, it was a chance to bring about this story for a character a lot of the fandom already saw as ace. Obviously, not everybody, but still a lot.

So when editorial game to okay to tell this story, Alanna reached out to me - somebody she’d worked with but also specifically had just had their own little coming out as demisexual a little while back. I was thrilled by the idea and before long we brought on @bailiesartblog and Kelly and had a full creative team of people on the ace spectrum. This is easily the first time that’s ever been a thought.

For me it was important that it not just be a story of coming out, but that it be a Gwenpool story. A story of knowing how stories work, what tropes you can play with, trying to direct the story where you think it should go, and ultimately finding that the story just won’t comply. And for people who have experienced being on the ace spectrum or a lot of other marginalized genders and sexualities - that’s a very familiar problem.

Ultimately, it’s different from a lot of other Gwenpool stories because it’s not the world around her. She has 2-3 real working possibilities for romantic relationships in this story and one that is about to become a fully adult sexual relationship with a woman whom she really loves before it skips the tracks. Ultimately, it’s not a thing from the 616 that’s holding her back, it’s a thing she brought with her from the real world - her sexuality - and no matter how worthy you are, you can’t beat that with a hammer.

There’ll be lots of time to talk about this later, but along with her actually saying the words and waving the flags above, one of the sequences that’s most important to me is the opening sequence of issue 6

This is the problem sometimes with being story tellers. When you think you know the story, realizing you’re not who you thought you are can feel like maybe you’re a villain. Maybe you’re a monster. Maybe you don’t belong here.

Some people on the internet seem to have decided to misinterpret this sequence as us comparing being asexual to being a monster, when very clearly that’s Gwen doing it. I’m just going to assume they’ve never had the experience of struggling to understand themselves and where they fit. Sounds fake, but whatever.

I love this FF story. I love Ben Grimm. I love this cover and that was why I gave my art team the truly unenviable task of recreating it. Like, I don’t know if you’ve been there, but I certainly have and I’d wager that most of us have at some point.

But perhaps the most important image in this scene is the next one:

Julie sees her friend, her girlfriend, the person that she cares about spiraling and literally yoinks her right out of the frame.

And sits her down and talks to her about it. And listens to her about it. And when she starts asking questions that Julie can’t answer, she finds Gwen somebody who can.

And that is an incredible gift to give to someone. And yeah, maybe we should all do that for each other, but man is it hard. Julie for one is in a multi-month relationship with this girl that just told her that not only was she lying about being ready to have sex with her, but that she didn’t actually like kissing her and has been faking enjoying some aspects of their relationship. You wanna think you would still be there for this person, but that’s a lot to handle and it takes a lot to be the person Julie is in this moment. But, personally, I love Julie Power and I think she’s the kinda person to stick with it.

And ultimately I think this scene is so important to me because I hope this book is our opportunity to be Julie Power to somebody reading this story. I hope someone who is going through a hard time or struggling with how to define themselves will find this story and it can be the hands that pull them out of the cover of Fantastic Four 51 when they need it. Maybe that’s a lot to hope for a comic, but it’s really the ambition I think the team went into this comic with. We want to tell a story about an aroace character coming to terms with who they are and learning to accept and be comfortable with it, but ultimately we hope this story gets to someone out there when they need it and makes the difference.

Well, this has gone really long and I’m sure there will be other things I wanna say about it later, but until then take care of yourselves and hopefully you’ll get the chance to be someone’s Julie Power.

P.S. - Julie, you’re amazing and I’m sure we will find a romance for you that works out eventually. Sorry that we’ve collectively now put you through three breakups.

[harrysfolklore]

backstage girlfriend

third day of blurbs and i hope you’re not bored yet because this is a collab with my babie @astranva we really hope you like this <<3

backstage girlfriend masterlist | my masterlist

ask me anything | send me a tip for my blog’s anniversary (if u want of course) <3

liked by uncle_jezzy, maya_hawke and 437 others

yourinstagram unbothered. moisturizing. happy. in my lane. focused. flourishing.

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uncle_jezzy Photo credits?

↳ yourinstagram 📸 Joe Keery 2022 ® all rights reserved

↳ uncle_jezzy That’s better 🥰

annetwist I miss you dear !! ❤️

↳ yourinstagram i miss you too, nonnie 🥺 let’s meet up when you’re free <3

maya_hawke Why does your man constantly steal you from me

↳ yourinstagram i’ll be all yours this weekend 💃

liked by harryfan1, fan1 and 109,736 others

enews Joe Keery out with new girlfriend and Harry Styles’s EX! Here’s everything we know about Y/N Y/L/N! Link in bio.

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harryfan1 PLOT TWIST

fan1 they look so cute

fan2 i love celebrity gossip so much

harryfan2 the fact that SHE broke HARRY STYLES’ heart is comical to me. how tf can a 2 break his heart 

↳ fan1 this is so unprovoked

↳ fan2 stfu

TEXTS BETWEEN JEFF AND HARRY

//

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celebrityleaks HARRY STYLES LEAKED SONG: GLIMPSE OF US. LINK IN OUR BIO

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harryfan1 come on respect his work

harryfan2 nauuurr not harry building her entire career only for her to fuck him up. she does belong to the streets lmfao

↳ fan1 these harry styles fans are disgusting omfg

harryfan3 they were so in love :(

fan2 maybe what they had was read but it’s over now and yn is clearly happier now

harryfan4 DONT SPREAD IT

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harryupdates Harry in NYC today, according to fans, he refused to take any pictures or sign anything :/

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harryfan1 baby :(

harryfan2 oh he is PISSED

harryfan3 fuck yn fr

↳ fan1 why are you so quick to attack her ???

harryfan4 stop spreading the song ffs

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 4,209 others

theharrytea okay but we NEED to talk about glimpse of us because WTF was that ?? OUR BOY GOT HIS HEART BROKEN

view all 1,002 comments

harryfan1 fuck yn for real

harryfan2 if miss girlie isn’t crawling on her knees to get back with him i’ll assume she’s a cold hearted snake

harryfan3 both her and joe keery can get lost 🤷‍♀️

↳ harryfan4 i call bullshit on that relationship, she’s probably just using him just as she used harry

harryfan5 i just want to hug him

liked by maya_hawke, zendaya and 5,937,026 others

uncle_jezzy Dear fans and followers, I wanted to make a wee community announcement. I couldn’t help but notice that there has been some social animosity of late. It’s becoming increasingly prevalent on my feed. There has been lots of, let’s call it speculation for now, about my private life and relationships.

Now, while I do appreciate the passion and support by those very people who are ‘speculating,’ it has come to such a point that I needed to say something, which in itself is a bad thing. We are living in an age of social enlightenment. More and more, people are realizing that their views may have been blinkered and that they need to expand them to encompass others.

So to you out there who are expressing your disdain and showing your displeasure through a surprising variety of ways, it’s time to stop. I know it can be fun to speculate, to gossip, and to dive into our own personal echo chambers on the internet, but your ‘passion’ is misplaced, and it causes harm to the people I care about most, and I won’t stand for it.

view all 95,736 comments

fan1 OH EM GEE

maya_hawke I say those are my babies and I’m proud

annetwist ❤️

↳ harryfan1 anne ????

↳ harryfan2 is she aware that they broke her son’s heart?

florencepugh the love i have for the both of you it’s just so 🥺

mtv 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

harryfan3 there she goes.. playing the victim.. again

camimendes True love always wins ❤️

fan2 joe actually SPOKE about it oh yall pissed gim off

INSTAGRAM STORIES FROM YN AND JOE’S FRIENDS

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @sunflowervolume66 @vanteguccir r @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower r @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies s @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @leadmetogarden @abeanontoast t @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @ivegotparticulartaste @wobblymug @eviesaurusrex @olivialovesh @itsgabbysblog @theekyliepage @gumballavocadoharry @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas @rafeyyyyy @tinydeskwriter @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m @rach2602 @balletdancerry

[miss-madness67]

Cool Cosplay (Dean W.)

Prompt: You go to a Supernatural convention and -unknowingly- meet Dean.

The Supernatural convention is finally here. You’ve been waiting for months for the gathering, supposedly, Carver Edlund, the writer, was going to make an appearance late in the afternoon. The Supernatural books belong to a small niche because not everyone likes them. So when you started reading, you had trouble finding people involved in the fandom as much as you. Meeting new fans became a slow process of writing on the internet forum. That’s how you met one of your best friends, Celeste Middleton.

She seemed very into the books, just like you, although her fanaticism was different because she didn't partake in the discussion of the characters or the narrative, she was mostly interested in learning about the monsters and the ways to kill them. You, on the other hand, couldn't shut up about your love for Castiel, and how much of an underrated character he was. But because you were also interested in the monsters, you became quick friends and met up a couple of times. It was she that told you about the supernatural convention. You also agreed to go together and dress up as your favorite characters. You, obviously put on a trench coat, and she decided to be Charlie, the redheaded tech friend of the hunter brothers.

“Even if you’re a redhead, I still don’t think you quite fit as Charlie.” You tell her while walking through the stands.

One of the sellers has a collection of Castiel stickers that you stop to watch. The best thing about this type of convention is that everyone in the fandom can bring their own things to share and sell. If the fandom were bigger, that probably wouldn't be allowed.

“Really?” Celeste asks with incredulity. “I’m a hacker; she’s a hacker, I’m gay; she’s gay, I’m a badass; she’s a badass. What’s more to compare?”

“Celeste, there’s more to Charlie than being gay, you know?”

She chuckles, “oh, believe me, I know.” She murmurs.

You’re about to answer something when one of the nearby stands calls your attention. It’s one of the writers whose fanfic you’ve been reading. “C’mon, let’s go over here.” She follows without hesitation.

While you decide to buy one of the copies of your favorite fanfiction, your friend’s checking something on her phone. “So, you remember the friends I told you about?”

You think briefly, “the ones that were curious about the convention and wanted to come?”

“The same ones!” She announces, “they just got here, wait for me while I go get them?”

You're way too interested in your new acquisition, to really pay attention to her words. “Yeah, yeah, sure.”

Celeste told you about some friends that she had that weren't supernatural fans, but wanted to get to know the fandom and the surrounding fame. You're not sure whether there's anything interesting to learn considering they haven’t read the books, but you’ll be the best tour guide you can be. Your friend comes back shortly after, followed by two tall guys that are dressed up in a way that reminds you, probably too much, of certain characters in the books.

“I thought you said they weren’t fans?” You ask Celeste.

The one dressed up as Dean chuckles, “oh, we’re not, sweetheart, believe me.”

You look at him with incredulity, “well, then, why are you dressed up as Dean, and your friend here as Sam?”

The Sam cosplayer shifts uncomfortably under your scrutiny. The Dean cosplayer, though, is quick to answer, “because we are Sam and Dean.”

The encounter is proving to be way too funny. You look back at Celeste, “and they role-play too?” In spite of being dressed as Castiel, you’ve never been too much of a role player, so it amuses you that some non-fans are very into the characters. Even fake Dean’s voice is how you imagined real Dean’s voice would be like.

Sam throws an annoyed glance at Dean . “What my ah- friend here is trying to say is that our names are actually Sam and Dean, and Cha- Celeste convinced us to come as the characters in the books.” There’s something in his words that doesn’t quite persuade you.

“I see,” you murmur, “you did a great job!” Your wary demeanor instantly shifts to a friendly one. “You really do look like Sam and Dean.”

Celeste chooses that moment to finally speak, “and I don’t look like Charlie?!” There’s incredulity and exasperation in her tone.

Because you already had this discussion multiple times in the day, you decide to ignore her. Looking at Dean, you add, “though you need the Samulet, did you forget to put it on?” You pull something out of your trench coat pocket, “here, I’ll give you mine.” Technically, your costume didn’t need the jewelry, but you decided to keep it for some reason.

You extend your arm and give it to Dean, who takes it reluctantly. “Oh, thanks? But I’m good.” He tries to give it back.

“No, I insist. If you’re going to do cosplay, you’re going to do it good.” At your insistence, he takes it.

Celeste smiles mischievously. “Yes, my friend right here is a very good fan of Supernatural.” She looks up and down your outfit, “guess who her favorite character is.”

You don’t even let the boys speak, “obviously Castiel.” As if there’s any contest with the rest of the characters. “After all, he’s an Angel of the Lord .” Your imitation is too bad that Sam and Charlie can’t avoid laughing.

Dean chuckles, “so, you’re not a Dean girl?” You’re not sure, but there’s something in his voice akin to disappointment.

“Dean is ok, but there’s no one like Castiel.” You clear your throat, trying to contain the excitement when speaking of your favorite character. “I mean, he’s sweet, powerful, understanding…”

“Cas? Really?” Now he’s almost indignant, “and Dean is definitely more than ok.”

Now, normally, you’re a pacifist, but you’re not going to let this rando talk bad about your fictional love. “How would you know? Considering that you’ve never read the books before.”

There’s a hint of condescension in his voice, “oh, honey, I know, I-.”

But before he can say anything else, Sam interrupts. “So! Why don’t you girls show us around?”

Dean seems to be completely annoyed by being interrupted, but he doesn’t complain when his friend Sam tugs him forward. At this point, a lot more people have arrived at the convention. The fans of Supernatural are not enough to be a crowd, but not as small as to allow you to recognize everyone. Your group is not the only one dressed up as the characters. You mostly see Deans and Sams lingering around, but there are also some Bobbys, Johns, Castiels, and even famous monsters like the walling woman. Sam and Dean (the ones in your group) take everything in with open eyes, and, sometimes, uncomfortable gazes. You and Celeste show them to the different stands, there are merchandise, game tables, fanfiction tables, fanart artists, and discussion tables. There’s anything and everything to make the Supernatural experience enjoyable. You can even see a fake tattoo artist draw a devil’s trap, in, well, a fake Meg.

“Oh, and the author, Carver Edlund, is supposed to be giving a conference and signing,” you finish your tour.

This last bit is what interests the boys the most, “really? Do you know when?” 

“Uh, I don’t know. I suppose in a few hours,” you answer Sam’s question.

If he is disappointed by your lack of knowledge, you don't notice because you're too busy now looking at a stand full of drawing of different supernatural characters. It doesn't take you long to buy what you want, though, by the time you turn around, you see that all of your companions are chatting in whispers a few steps away. They seem to be in a heated discussion, so you don't dare to go near them. Whatever they're talking about must be private. Nevertheless, on some occasions, you catch them looking your way and then continue speaking. Are they talking about you? Out of the blue, Dean and Sam start a game of rock, paper, and scissors. Dean wins and cheers in place as if it’s something that doesn’t happen often. Before you can even try to make up your mind to approach them, Celeste and Sam walk away, while Dean returns to you.

“What happened? Where are Celeste and Sam going?”

Dean answers without hesitation, “they're taking care of something, don't worry. Why don’t you keep showing me around? They'll be back in a bit.”

Despite the fact that you are still worried about the sudden turn of events, you decide to listen to him and venture to some of the stands with Dean's company. He seems to be very on high alert because he keeps looking everywhere like something is about to jump from the crowd. He also looks at the “monsters” with a particularly nasty frown on his face that earns him some compliments for being very ‘Dean’. The demeanor, though, appears too real to be fake. You try and encourage him to buy a few things while he waits you wait for your friends to return, but he really is not interested. You even suggest playing a game, but he refuses. The only thing he seems to be remotely curious about is a particular stand on Supernatural creatures the brothers have defeated. You try to be a good guide by letting him in on your knowledge about the supernatural.

“And you learned all of this from the books?” He is really surprised by all the things that you've told him, even to the point of slightly forgetting about keeping his guard up.

“Some, other things I’ve researched on my own or Celeste told me.” Your hand caresses one of the books’ covers with a vampire. “I know it’s not real, but it’s fascinating to know.”

Then you dive into a full-on explanation about the different, fictional, possible ways one can get rid of certain monsters that you come up with. Things that supernatural books and your research don’t quite show that you think could work as an alternative to certain methods. You jokingly tell him that sometimes your mind wanders into the possibility of the supernatural being real, and you cannot help to think about it. Dean seems deeply impressed, and then something else.

“You know? You’d make one hell of a hunter,” he nods approvingly.

“IF hunters were real,” you respond instantly.

He chuckles, “sure, sure, if they were.”

You continue through the convention for half an hour, this time he seems to be more taken by you than before, because, despite that he’s still on guard, he makes conversation about yourself and your interest in The Supernatural books. He even tries to convince you that the best character is not Cas, but Dean. You believe that he is biased, considering that his name is the same one as the one from the character. Sometimes you notice the way his eyes look at your figure, and you cannot find it in yourself to feel angry. More like there's a small part of you that cannot help to gloat at the feeling of a handsome man finding you attractive. Though, you believe it must have to do also with the fact that, for some reason, besides his name, your mind cannot seem to stop pairing him up with Dean from the books. You’ve never been a Dean girl, but you’re starting to think you could maybe make an exception. He has something that draws you in. Whatever it is, you’re a goner because, by the time Celeste and Sam come back, they find you entangled in each other’s arms, kissing near the restroom’s door.

A/N: For plot’s sake, let’s imagine Charlie is in the Supernatural books. Also, if reader is dressed up as Castiel, does this count as Destiel?

[aziraphales-library]

Hi aziraphaels-library!

I have several fics i am mildly obsessed about and they are "What we make of it" and "Or be nice" by charlotte_madison, "Tabula Rasa" and "Clementine" by mussimm, "Demonology and the Tri-phasic model of trauma" by nnm, "Long haul" and "Search and Rescue" by snae-b. Better than many books I read, including award winning ones! Maybe you coluld recommend something as good as these? I love an anxious and off-beat Crowley, and his honesty issues, but do not limit myself to such stories. Thanks a lot!

Hello! The fics you've listed are very well known and popular within the fandom. You should check out the fics on our #fandom favourites tag for more you may enjoy. Here are some more great fics for you...

Summer's End by FeralTuxedo (E)

2095. Britain is a post-apocalyptic wasteland ravaged by droughts, the collapse of civilisation, and hordes of the undead. Despite that, Aziraphale’s life is actually pretty good. He has his caravan, his books, and his work, offering his services to the men who stop by Tadfield on their arduous journey north. One day, a mysterious stranger knocks on his door. Crowley is charming and handsome and he appears to know his way around a vegetable garden. He comes with the tempting offer of a mutually beneficial arrangement. But it’s in Aziraphale’s best interest not to get too attached.

A dystopian cottagecore sex worker AU.

Readings From the Books of Ashtoreth by Quefish (E)

Vicar Aziraphale Bookman has a comfortable life. He lives in and serves the small village community of Tadfield. He enjoys contributing to local businesses, taking walks, and of course reading. His 'guilty pleasure', which gives him no guilt and all pleasure, is a series of novels by one AJ Ashtoreth. But what happens when he reaches out with an innocent bit of fanmail?

It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine by elf_on_the_shelf (E)

After Adam's parents die in a car crash, Aziraphale is forced to start taking care of him as more than just an uncle. Don't get him wrong, he loves the little devil, it's just that he is completely clueless and could rather use some help. In comes Crowley, Adam's new nursery school teacher with his amazing skills in dealing with kids. Could he be the answer to all of Aziraphale's prayers - Adam-related and otherwise? Well, it looks like he might be just that, judging by the weird things Aziraphale's heart seems to be doing whenever he sets eyes on the man. Now, if only the tall ginger returned his feelings...

I Knew I Loved You by AppleSeeds (E)

In September 1999, when his family gets connected to the internet, prospective Marine Biology student Crowley discovers an online forum where he can actually talk to people who share his passion for saving the whales. He begins corresponding with a kind stranger he knows only as Ocean_Angel, and is incredibly excited when the opportunity arises to meet this mysterious person in real life.

As their friendship develops, Crowley shares things with Angel that he can't talk about with anyone else, and Angel's insights help him to explore and embrace his own identity. As Crowley works towards finding a place in this world where he feels like he really belongs, he realises that a big part of the answer to that question might actually be right in front of him. What if where he belongs is with Angel?

secondhand smoke by PaintedVanilla (T)

you're second hand smoke, second hand smoke i breathe you in, but, honey, i don't know what you're doing to me mon chéri

the year is 1990, and anthony crowley is looking for a church in london that might be tolerable. the one he winds up attending isn't exactly such, but he decides to stick around for one reason. said reason happens to own a bookshop that crowley begins to frequent, much to the surprise and delight of anathema device and newton pulsifer, who seem quite convinced that crowley could use something else to focus on besides gardening, their campaigns, and visits to tadfield.

Siren's Song by Kedreeva (T)

Crowley, a lone siren, calls a ship to wreck upon his reef, but finds when he meets pirate captain Aziraphale that sirens are not the only ones able to lure another creature to their heart's desire.

- Mod D

[plentyoffandoms]

Nick Wayne x Female Reader??? Semi-Angst and Fluff? The reader sees some bad comments people are making against Nick and she defends him over social media which leads to Bick thanking her with a kiss and them confessing their feelings to each other.

Hypocrisy

Nick Wayne x f/Reader

Main Masterlist ♡ Wrestlers Masterlist ♡ Miscellaneous Wrestler Masterlist

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Warnings: some swearing.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me. 1st gif @junglehooks 2nd gif @elitehanitje

WC: 970

Requested by @hooks-martin hope you like it.

I couldn't take it anymore.

All these toxic wrestling fans are coming after Nick. Saying how he isn't a good wrestler. That he is only signed with AEW because of who his dad was.

That it was all because of Darby Allin that got him here. Yes, Samuel did help, but Nick would have eventually gotten here.

None of them have any idea how long he worked towards this. They have no idea that he was going to be here no matter what.

But, the comments from the haters kept coming. From wrestling fans who have never once stepped foot into a ring, and have no idea what it actually takes to do everything all wrestlers have to learn and do that they do not fully cause harm to others and themselves.

Nick tells me not to pay attention to what they say. He says this every single time I bring it up, as since it is bothering me, it must be bothering him.

"I post, and then I don't look at my phone. They can say what they want as they hide behind their keyboards, but I don't look at the hate." Was all he said to me.

Well, it bothered me, one of his oldest friends.

I met Nick in the third grade when I transferred schools, and even then, all he could talk about was wrestling.

I didn't know it then, but that is when I fell in love with him as he talked about going to watch his father wrestle that weekend.

Speaking of his dad, who we all still very much miss, people would compare him to his dad, and they should never be compared with one another.

I heard the notification go off on my phone, bringing me out of the thoughts of the last holiday I spent with Nick, his mom, and dad.

I grabbed my phone and instantly regretted it.

Nick posted a photo, not even five minutes ago on Instagram, and the haters are already there, I was going to ignore it, just like how Nick does, but then, one comment seemed to stick out more than one.

I have never seen this user comment on any of his stuff before, but damn, they aren't going at Nick about his wrestling, but by his looks.

It didn't take me long to start an argument with a stranger on the Internet, defending my friend, well secret crush.

Tag list: @lghockey @nicoleveno14 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @hooks-martin @wwenhlimagines @melissahausen @faerieofthenightcourt @tahiri-veyla @crowleysqueenofhell

NICK WAYNE'S POV:

I was showing Tyler something that I wanted to buy when I saw notification after notification of an argument going on the latest photo I posted on Instagram.

I usually don't bother with it, but I noticed one particular username, and I had to check it out.

I saw the comment about my appearance, but also how my best friend was sticking up for me and isn't backing down.

I know she always does, but this time, she was going off.

"I gotta go and see what she is up to." I said to Tyler. "You mean save her before she goes completely mad, and the two of you get called in to HR?"

"Wouldn't be the first time we got into trouble." I said while laughing at the memories of all the shit we used to get up to.

◆

I found her exactly where I knew she would be. In her hotel room, muttering to herself. Most likely trying to figure out what she was going to say next.

"Just let yourself in." She said without looking up.

"You are making yourself crazy over this person." She slammed her phone on the bed and looked angrily up at me, which I found adorable.

"Look, I ignored them after you asked me too about your wrestling, but when it comes to your looks and appearance, nope, I can not stand by and allow that." She said to me as she moved positions. I sat down next to her on the edge of the bed.

She was about to grab her phone as the other person had responded, but I grabbed both her hands and turned my body to face her.

"Thank you." I leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek, just like I have always done, but she turned her head at the last moment, and our lips connected for the first time.

We both pulled back in shock, but she smashed her lips against mine as we shared our first heated kiss.

I needed air, so I pulled back, and I rested my forehead against hers.

"Maybe now isn't the right time, maybe it is. Maybe there isn't a right time." I started to yammer.

"Just spit it out, Nick." She quietly said.

"I like you, and I love the fact that you stand up for me whenever you get a chance. You always have, and that is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you," At this point, how I was feeling just seemed to spill from my lips.

"Well, Nicholas, I am also in love with you."

"Wait, really?" I was stunned.

"Of course. Why do you think I defend you so much."

"I should have known." I could help but laugh as I said that.

"Yes, now about you, and I go out to dinner."

"You asking me out?"

"Yes, I am Nick."

I stood up and grabbed and held my hand out for her take. She placed her hand in mine, and I helped her off the bed.

"Time for this very long, overdue date, and I have the perfect spot." I ignored her questions as we left her hotel room.

I ignored the comments after posting a photo of the two of us that night, her kissing my cheek, and me declaring my love for her for the world to see.

[lurkingshan]

SHIPPER TAG GAME

Tagged by @negrowhat to give away all my fandom secrets. I came up in the US, so most of these will be Western shows. Also be aware that I'm old and been around in fandoms for decades, some of you youths might not even recognize these ships.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Felicity and Noel. I was very into them (and very anti-Ben) when I was first watching this show at the tender age of 14, but then I rewatched it as an adult, realized Noel was a classic Nice Guy with some clear warning flags, and settled into Team Ben.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Hmm maybe Elizabeth Wakefield and Todd Wilkins? I think I started reading Sweet Valley High at, like, age 8. For TV, I was a sitcom kid and I was obsessed with Dwayne Wayne and his flip-up glasses as a child. I loved him and Whitley. Damn now I want to rewatch.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

The first I read? I am pretty sure the honor goes to Buffy and Spike.

They were the first ship I remember having that classic fanfic brainrot combo of 1) captivating me entirely with their dynamic and 2) canon leaving me unsatisfied. I lost months of my life over at Elysian Fields.

In terms of the first fanfic I wrote, the honor goes to Ian and Mickey.

I was big into Shameless for its first four seasons. But then the show went way off the rails, the fandom went with it, and I quit watching and scrubbed all my fandom activity off the internet.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

I honestly have no idea. Probably something Buffy, I was doing a lot of internet dwelling for that show.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Getting into discourse is my whole entire thing LOL. I have survived many, many ship wars and let me tell ya you haven't seen unhinged until you've been knee deep in the tags in a long-term fandom with multiple ships for the protagonist. One of the things I love about BL and nearly all Asian dramas is that we go into every show knowing who the main pairing is, so we don't have to fight about ships.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Hmm I was a big Buffy/Angel anti and that was before Spuffy was even a twinkle in my eye. I never liked that man in a romance until he got hooked up with Cordelia in his own show (but then they ruined it ugh). I was also very anti-Harry/Hermione back in the OG HP days (let characters have meaningful platonic relationships!).

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

I've been on a Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian kick of late.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

OTPs are eternal! Like I said above, since I mostly watch Asian drama now, they're baked in. My fav of my current watches is Ten and Prem.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

YES I AM STILL MAD ABOUT ROBIN AND BARNEY.

You show me two characters who are clearly uniquely compatible, you give me a brief taste of their extremely fun and non-traditional relationship, and then you break them up and stick her with the milquetoast Nice Guy protagonist in a total betrayal of your entire narrative premise? Fuck off forever, HIMYM, I will see you in hell.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Hmm nothing comes to mind. If I decided to hate a pair in the past I am pretty likely to still be hating.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I would like to see you try to cancel me!! I'll echo Eboni here and say Brian and Justin, though of course there were people who hated them because of the age gap back in ye olden times, too. Fandom spaces are mostly women and women in queer fandom spaces often struggle to account for the totally different culture and power dynamics between m/m pairings.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I don't really do crack ships, I am a canon pairing girlie.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

I don't know who the ultimate winner is, but I think it's probably a neck and neck competition between Spuffy and Wangxian as my most read pairing.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

There's actually a lot of variety in them in terms of personalities, appearance, and tropes. I think what makes me really click into a ship is the feeling that the two people are uniquely suited to each other and well matched to go through life together.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

When I don't believe they can actually make it.

Tagging @my-rose-tinted-glasses @twig-tea @imminentinertia @shortpplfedup @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @littleragondin.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @wolfpants.

Dear readers, dreamers, and purveyors of the glittering, gilded aisles of the Drarry Library,

Fandom life began for me at age fifteen. We just got our first family computer, taking pride of place in the utility room between the boiler and my dad’s boxes of tools. I had recently come out as bisexual to my friends at school, who, props to them, had all taken it quite well despite the small town we grew up in (I was very lucky, they were great - everyone else though? Not so much). Still, even with supportive friends offline, I never felt like I could talk to them about what I really enjoyed: watching Buffy, reading Harry Potter and looking for queer subtext (I could never have convinced any of them that Harry’s story screams gay allegory–no matter what JKR has to say on the topic back then or now), scouring bookshops and libraries for any sort of queer content I could get my hands on, desperate as I was to read something that spoke to me, to read about love outside of the heteronormative landscape of the popular media. I wasn’t just tired of boy-meets-girl; I had never identified with it in the first place.

The year we got dial-up internet was the year I discovered Livejournal. The absolute joy I felt, stumbling upon an LJ community specifically dedicated to roleplaying Harry Potter characters in queer pairings. Discovering, beyond that, that people wrote stories about Harry and my other favourite queer-coded character of the series: Draco Malfoy. And then it was Wolfstar (specifically Sirius), then Drarry again, and somewhere along the way my lurking fell off and I stopped reading fic for a while when I moved to London and settled into my first job, my first real relationship, and sitting uncomfortably atop my bisexual identity and not really knowing where that shift happened and why. All the while, I was pursuing a writing career on the more journalistic side: writing for music and film outlets, doing a little bit of secret creative writing on the side, dipping in and out of HP RPGs but never really—connecting. In “real life”, my relationship with my ex was falling apart, and I felt very disconnected from the LGBTQIA+ community because, even though I knew I belonged, I never felt like I could be truly me with anyone—perhaps because I was, unknowingly, still discovering who I really was.

When the pandemic happened, it gave me the breathing space I needed to get to that point. It brought me back to fandom.

It started with reading The Popular Wolfstar Fic Everyone Was Reading, and reopening my ao3 account to re-read some old favourites from over the years. It then unrolled to, hey, I have some free time, why don’t I try writing my own Wolfstar fic for my oldest, dearest friend (who I met RPing on LJ at 15!), which then turned into: you should publish this, and see what happens.

So, I did. And I made a tumblr account, and I lurked for a while, shyly reblogging things and scrolling through author accounts I’d admired from a very young age, astonished and really fucking impressed that they were still in the game. I read their new fics, I was drawn back into Drarry, and from there I discovered what a wonderful community this is, not only for its immensely talented creatives, but for its values as a inclusive, equitable, supportive, uplifting, and joyful group of individuals who genuinely welcome everyone with open arms and love. That, in itself, has made it easy to reach out to like-minded folks here, to make life-long friends, to chat to people who have been through similar experiences in questioning their identities (it is truly thanks to this fandom and the many discussions I’ve had with people here that I’ve been able to realise my identity as a NB lesbian). To write! To share! To not be ashamed of my kinks and to discover fun, delicious rare pairs! To look at breathtaking art and read some of the best goddamn writing I’ve ever set eyes on!

I have spent thirty-seven years on this planet. A good chunk of that time has been spent questioning many parts, pieces, and niggly jiggly bits of my identity. Who am I? What am I? Is there anyone out there who is just like me?

After many years of searching in the dark, of asking these questions over and over, I can joyously say that the answer is: yes. And oh, how thankful I am for that, for all of you, because fandom has really been the community I can categorically point to and say: they did that for me, we did that for we, and I will do anything for you.

Happy pride.

Thank you, Wolf, for joining me in the Library. Your love and joy for fandom have left me feeling quite tender-hearted, in the best way. It's so so good to ask the question "Is there anyone out there who is just like me?" and find over and over that the answer chorusing back is "yes." Thank you for adding your yes to our chorus, and joining me for Pride in the Library.

If you want more @wolfpants be sure to check out their work on AO3! I can't help but recommend the fic that made me fall in love with her writing in the first place, Pages of You, which I've featured previously for Happy Hour. It's got Drarry and Wolfstar, and is one of my favorite comfort rereads.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

[arizonapoppy]

A Tangled Web Book Club: Jan 7th

I have not read A Tangled Web in quite some time. My copy is very yellowed, and I’m worried about the glue of the binding, so I held it very carefully as I read today. But I love it very much. It is one of my favorite stories. My internet search says it was published in 1931 but it doesn’t feel like 1931. Maybe the setting is a few years earlier? LMM’s books have a very timeless quality. It is hard to pin down dates exactly unless there is a definite reference such as World War 1 or the Klondike Gold Rush. Uncle Pippin has a horse and “gig.” How long were horses and buggies still used in PEI? 

This timeless quality is interesting because you can right off see a place where either LMM re-used some old material, or has continuity with another book. Just today I was chatting with @minisugakoobies about the fun of character cameos in stories. We previously heard about the Penhallows in The Chronicles of Avonlea (published in 1912) in “The Winning of Lucinda.” This dates to almost a full generation or a generation and a half earlier, because Anne Shirley makes a cameo. There is no mention of the Darks at this point in time. There is a passage, though, about Old Uncle Julius Penhallow who is the only one able to keep the family genealogy in his head.

Uncle Julius is a fore-runner of Uncle Pippin, who seems to be the point-of-view character for this opening passage. He is the one to whom Aunt Becky makes her pronouncement of her coming levee, despite the fact that the community doubts his parentage. [Side note: this says entirely too much and not enough about his backstory. Now I want to know more about his mom’s story. There’s at least one fanfic in here.] Does Uncle Pippin memorize the genealogy as a way to prove to himself that he does, in fact, belong to the family? Is it self-reassurance that he couldn’t learn it if he wasn’t genetically related? A way to earn family acceptance if he is not? (The stigma of adoption runs throughout her books.) 

The fact that Aunt Becky revealed her important news to a person in the family who held lesser status makes me wonder about her motivations. Did she want to build him up in some sick way with a tidbit of gossip at the same time that she was insulting his family connection? (Since we’re close to Christmas, and LMM was a minister’s wife, was it a reference to the angels appearing to lowly shepherds to be messengers of the big news?) 

Aunt Becky’s put-downs to Uncle Pippin are indicative of a really unhealthy family dynamic. We hear that the Penhallow-Dark clan endure digs and slams in order to take joy in seeing others getting squashed like bugs themselves. In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Bennet says “For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?” The dynamic in Meryton seems a lot more congenial than the meanness going on right off the bat here in Indian Spring-Bay Silver. People will come to the levee to see other people put down. In addition, no food will be served, so that to use an anachronistic term: they’ll all be hangry to boot. “Everybody would be resentful, but everyone will be there.” 

The theme of the pile of puppies clawing and climbing over each other for the book reminds me of the opening line of the Iliad: “Rage, Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus’s son Achilles.” Right off the bat we know that the Dark jug is going to be the macguffin in a nasty fight. Just like the Iliad is only one moment in the larger history of the Trojan War, and there have been so many stories and retellings to come out of it, this book is only one moment and one narrative in the history of the clan and the Dark jug. “A dozen stories have been told about the old Dark jug. This is the true one,” LMM says. What are some of the other stories? And how reliable a narrator is Uncle Pippin? He’s an outsider after all. Delilah Dawson says that all the different continuities in the Star Wars Disney canon and Extended Universe and Legends canons are like stories told around the campfire. They all have some nugget of truth and they all have the ability to inspire us. What are the other versions of the stories of the Dark jug?   

[pazpatas]

Remember this is only my opinion you can disagree;]

I don’t know if anyone will agree but, I hate the yaoi fanart of Hannigram and Lacho. As a guy who is actively involved in the Hannibal and Better Call Saul / Breaking Bad fandoms, I am really not comfortable with these types of art. The characters aren’t ruined but it seems as if people miss completely the point of the shows.

Lacho is just… meh and shouldn’t be a ship. Like BRO THEY HAVE NO CHEMISTRY (in my opinion) and I know it’s hard to say, but Nacho Varga and Lalo Salamanca are straight men… who deal drugs and are just cool criminals. I get that there’s not a lot of people you can ship in this fandom, but these are just cool characters and y’all are ruining them with your horny bullshit.

Edit: I removed the lacho tag, you can stop commenting about me being rude. Damn y’all like to attack people who don’t have the same opinion as you.

Hannigram is a ship and it’s a very cool one! I like it, but when it’s done correctly:

There’s 3 whole seasons cooking this delicious soup of nuanced interest between Hannibal and Will. I love this series, especially as an asexual, because it shows sexual intimacy in a much more complex way and from a completely different perspective. At least, it is different from how we usually see it in media.

This intimacy is here to make us observe, these people; them and only them, in the rawest selves, between each other. That’s why it is so important. NBC Hannibal shows different characters in these moments, adding music and interesting visuals; they play with colours and sounds of fungus. Every scene is just so cool to watch and not as awkward as it usually is. I like how it looks like, people are merging in one. Sex scenes, like Alana with Hannibal and Margo with Will’s intimate shots, can also portray something that is happening subconsciously outside the very scene, disassociated from the moment.

(Hannibal spoilers season 3, 13 episode!!!)

Now, the coolest thing is that the relationship between the murder husbands doesn’t need sex. In my opinion, it’s purely intellectual! When it get’s physical its because they’re both killing the dragon. That was their intimate connection, the first time truly being with each other, not divided by two sides. They are one, together versus the dragon. After that, Will sees Hannibal; by that I mean that he sees his whole nature, and he can’t go back. His family is an illusion of something normal, but Will has reached something greater. After feeling Hannibal’s way of viewing the world he feels that he belongs. Of course, after realising that he is now with Lecter; that they are not understood by the world they exist in, both of them need to become even greater than their actual form. They had to die because their love is spiritual. By transcending into a bodyless form.

Hannibal, for me is the sanest character, he is always fine. The only moment when he’s not alright, is when Will “betrays him”. In Florence, Dr. Lecter is reckless, he kills a lot more than he needs to. He sees people, who he consumes, as pigs. It doesn’t feel bad killing them, because they’re just little animals walking around. He of course enjoys their company, humans can be befriended and he spends time with them with pleasure. It is still possible to eat them, except Will. Lecter, after Grahams betrayal, doesn’t trust him anymore. He does not want to show his true self to him anymore. Hannibal regrets opening up after he truly thought that he could be understood. So, Dr. Lecter convinces himself that Will is also just some meat. Yet again, seeing Will, after Florence, being on the same side, when they’re both confronted by Mason, Hannibal sees Will as a partner. A partner in a love crime.

SO NOW PLEASE FUCK OFF WITH YOUR PENCIL DRAWING OF NBC CHARACTERS FUCKING EACH OTHER /ref (welcome to the internet by Bo Burnham)

P.S. I realy like cute mini comics those are cool and funny keep doing them 💪

Again only my opinion, you can disagree, I literally don’t care. I would like to know your opinion actually!

[jankandjonch]

Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton played through the speakers in the bedroom, you and Jake swaying sweetly together as the water of the shower beaded over the two of you. Wrapped up so tightly in his arms, his body flush against yours, your song playing in the back. This is heaven, you’re sure of it. 

You let your hands roam. First to his chest, then to the sides of his neck as you pull him into a sweet, sweet kiss. Having him thoroughly occupied with your mouth, you let your hands travel south. 

Grabbing his ass, giving him a tug tighter against your body he giggled into your mouth and his teeth clashed into yours.

“Grabby, calm it down a bit, will you?,” he was trying to put space between your bodies and that was quite the opposite of what you wanted.

“Hmmmm, no,” you smiled into his kiss again, letting your hands skate up over his hips and around his love handles to rest on his front.

His abdomen tensed, you felt it under your hands. You kissed him harder.

People on the internet are cruel, this is nothing new to you. But Jake, he’s had a difficult time with scrutiny and people putting their noses in his business where they did not belong. All it took was one post that he saw on Instagram and he’s kept his hands to himself for six days. So unlike him, being quite the clingy person behind closed doors.

“Let me, baby. Let me touch my sweet boy,” you breathed out against his mouth. Whiny, desperate, fingers digging into his supple flesh.

“Please, honey, I- I can’t. Not right now,” he grabbed your hands then to stop your motions.

“Jacob, I just want to love on you. You haven’t touched me in a week, c’mon baby. Just come to bed with me, okay?” Perhaps the sweetness dripping from your plea, perhaps he knew he had to give in at some point. Whatever the case, he nodded his head, jaw still slack and he kept his hands on your hips as you lead him out of the bathroom.

“I didn’t mean to neglect my honey,” he mumbled, shy. Ashamed.

“You haven’t my love, you’ve taken time for yourself. I’m not upset about that. I am upset that you let someone who doesn’t know you from Adam misguide your self worth. You know how many people on this planet want to throw themselves at your feet, Mister Kiszka?,” you finally got another giggle out of him.

“I just- I feel down. Like… I don’t- like maybe you don’t...” his hands are waving about, he’s really struggling to get his words.

“I know baby boy, I know. You think I don’t feel unwanted and unworthy sometimes when I read the shit people say about me online? But then guess what, here you come through the front door and whisk me away and throw me in this bed. You don’t even have to know that I’m feeling that way, not with words. You keep me here in this bed until I remember exactly who the fuck I am.”

“My honey,” he stated very matter-of-factly, hands getting grabbier as you spoke.

“Your honey. Yours. Just like you are mine. I know you’re upset, and if nothing else that just makes me wanna be sweeter on you, Jake. So let me. Can I?,” your hands had landed back on his hips again, just above the soft, slightly dimpled area that you so desperately wanted to bury your face in.

“I’m not…” his eyes cast down to watch your hands, with a glance back up you knew exactly what he was trying to say.

“Jacob, no. You are not fat. You are not unappealing. I want to nibble the skin right off your tummy. You make me fucking crazy.”

He giggled at that, too.

“You’ll show me?,” he sounds so small, it really breaks your heart.

“Until I die,” you kissed him once more. Sweet, soft.

He was jelly in your hands, then. Allowing you to push his chest and he collapsed back into the white sheets. A grunt leaving him as he looks back at you to find you kneeled between his legs looking at him - hungry.

“Fuck.”

[dancing-with-the-madmen]

The Art of Buggery

Strap in, my very dears. We’re getting cheeky today. All of this has been a mere preamble to what I really want to talk about: the “you wear fine things well” almost-kiss and what follows after. I know it’s Word of God that Stede is unwittingly and unintentionally seducing Ed, and I've seen others talking about how confused Ed must be about all of Stede's mixed signals. I’m not convinced Stede is so guileless as all that. In fact, I think he’s thirsty af, and I have receipts.

So let's set the stage prior to the Moment. We’ve had a very full day for the boys, and watch them making good on their bargain to show one another their respective worlds. Ed takes Stede on a proper raid, and while they’re there, Stede avails himself of the captain’s dining service to teach Ed about the pageantry of dining. Then the French captain has to open his vile mouth and spit poison into Ed’s heart. Even after Ed’s initial fight-response reaction, the sting stays with him, sending him into an emotional flashback, 

His mother shows him the scrap of silk she stole - tells him that it’s God’s will that some people should have fine things like this, and some (them) shouldn’t. But is it not by the grace of God that she didn’t get caught taking it? So she could bring it home and give it to Ed? Doesn’t that mean that God WANTS Ed to have nice things like this? Doesn’t that mean he’s just as good as those fancy people on the estate? Then Frenchie shows up. He’s got an invitation! To a fancy party for hoity-toity people! And Ed immediately lights up. He’s anxious to put all of Stede’s posh lessons to the test, but even more, he’s emotionally raw from the French captain’s insult and desperate to prove him wrong and fulfill the promise of his mother’s scrap of silk. This is Ed’s Cinderella moment. They pull the big guns out of Stede’s closet and dress Ed in purple velvet and satin like a Phoenician prince with enough thread-of-gold embroidery and sequins to ransom a small island nation, the frothiest of impeccable white Mechlin lace, flowers in his hair and bows in his beard.

And then it all goes to shit. Cinderfella’s metaphorical gown turns back to rags right in front of all of those fine people and they laugh him out of the party. Turns out he never belonged after all, doesn’t it? But wait! Here’s Abshir and Frenchie to unveil all the shameful secrets the hoi-polloi conceal beneath their finery and painted faces. And here’s Stede to work with them and hold his fellow fancy folk to account. Embezzlement and piracy are just two fancy words for stealing. Doesn’t that mean these hoity-toity people are no better than Ed? Maybe he’s even better in some ways? At least Ed isn’t fucking his sister.

But still the poison is under his skin, and he toys with his silk when back on the deck of the Revenge. Does he not belong with “those kind of people”? Does he not deserve fine things? And then there’s Stede. Telling him “I think you’re very sophisticated.” Telling him his tatty old scrap of silk is lovely, and “sometimes old things are the best,” gently pulling the silk from between his fingers, the tactile sensation as it slides across his fingertips soft and sweet as a lover's sigh. Closing the distance between them to tuck the silk over his strangely pounding heart. Telling him “You wear fine things well,” and giving him a smile so warm and sincere Ed feels himself melting into it. Maybe Stede is the fulfillment of the promise of his mother’s silk. Maybe Stede is the nice thing that he can have. He leans in.

Allow me a small digression as I unlock personal backstory for strangers on the internet. When I was a freshman in college, I went with some friends to a winter dance. As the music was truly awful, we spent most the night chatting amongst ourselves in a corner of the vestibule, but at one point, I broke away from the group to go get myself some punch at the table across the room. It was at this point that an unknown person grabbed my arm and dragged me beneath one of the arches that led to the dance floor. Reader, my brain froze. He stood before me and pointed up, which I robotically followed with my eyes. I noted that there was something hanging above our heads, but my frozen brain refused to decipher what it was. I looked back down, and he walked away. All of this took maybe 5 seconds, but it wasn’t until he was gone that my brain unfroze and I realized, “Oh. That was mistletoe.” Reader, I submit that this?

Is “Someone wants. To kiss? Me??? Does not compute. Unrealistic. Computer, end simulation” brain-freeze face. Raised eyebrows, and jaw slack in surprise, not leaning in, but more importantly, NOT leaning away. In the stress of an unfamiliar situation (someone expressing desire for him, when everyone, his whole life through, has made it clear that nothing could possibly compensate for his many and storied deficiencies), Stede’s traitor brain opts for the Freeze coping mechanism that it turns to so frequently and RUINS EVERYTHING.

And this?

5 seconds later, lips pressed together but not turned down, eyes soft and averted from where he’s going as though focused inward? That’s introspection face. This is his “Oh. That was mistletoe” moment.

And then he turns back! If he really was an “unwitting seducer,” oblivious to the vibe, why would he turn back? If it was the writer’s intention to convey that dynamic, it would more likely go something like: Stede blithely bumbles off to his cabin with a smile on his face, secure in the knowledge that, in spite of a rough patch, the night has turned out just fine, and he made his best bro Ed happy; focus shifts over his shoulder to Ed looking back at him from across the deck, longing painted plainly on his face. The fact that he looks back TOO implicitly signals that the pining is MUTUAL. This is Stede going “”Wait - that was a Moment! Maybe I can still…? No.  It’s over. Fuuuuuuuu….”

Which leads us directly into the Art of F**kery. Arguably? The horniest episode, with its surfeit of blades and masts and tentacles and insert your metaphor for penises here (no, a little to the left). A few quick tableaus overlaid with Izzy’s aggrieved narration and then we get to the first extended scene: swordplay between Stede and Ed. And, yes, “Advanced trick of the trade,” and “Stab me” and “How does one get it out?” and Izzy’s gay panic freak out about what he assumes he overhears, and all that ripe, delicious innuendo, but I want to focus on one very small moment that comes before all that. Ed’s parry throws Stede off his balance, finding Stede bent over a cannon, and Ed swiftly pivots before swatting Stede on his ass with the flat of his blade to which Stede exclaims:

It’s a very deliberate choice of curse word in a show replete with fucks and shits, and liberally peppered with all manner of other invectives. Bugger is, by comparison, to a modern viewer's ears, a bit of a silly, old-fashioned kind of swear, which has lost much of its original weight of meaning, to the point where it would not be out of place in a children’s movie, out of the mouths of children (e.g. - “Bludgers. Nasty little buggers.” says Oliver Wood in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, 2002). And, interestingly, it’s only employed three times in the whole of the first season of the show, twice in this episode, both times by Stede.

The first time, obviously, is during the sword fight as described above. I don’t think it’s a mistake that Ed swats Stede across the ass with his metaphorical penis and Stede’s mind jumps to “Bugger!” He missed his moment in the moonlight, dammit, and in the meantime, he and Ed have only been spending more time together and growing closer, and yet, still not as close as he so very desperately wants. Later, Frenchie is sent to collect Ed in advance of the fuckery. “So Captain figures that this will be the best view for you when they come aboard,” he says. And where is “this”? The nook where Stede’s bed is built into the wall. Stede thinks the best place for Ed to experience the fuckery is in his bed with the opaque draperies drawn. I mean to say, really. Abandon all subtlety ye who enter here.

Stede joins him after the preliminary scene on the deck, and this is where we get the second instance of “Bugger.”

He’s referring to Lucius who has just cut off his engorged member finger and spurted across the faces of the unsuspecting Dutch. And yes, Lucius is the most unapologetic and (bravely) openly gay member of the crew, so the terminology is apt, but still. Stede has sectioned himself off from the rest of the crew with Ed mere inches from his bed, and what term springs to his thirsty, thirsty lips? Bugger.

But what clinches the intentionality of the use of the word bugger for me is this asshole:

Stede’s word out of this scoundrel’s mouth, but now it has teeth. Now it’s unavoidably, unquestionably given the weight of its original meaning. And in doing so, it recontextualizes the times when Stede was using it earlier.

Just before Jack drops this bugger bomb into Stede’s psyche, he asks Stede what’s going on between him and Ed. Stede’s face is solemn, almost sullen; his brows are drawn, eyes downcast. Then Jack asks if they’re buggering one another, and Stede’s eyes FLY open. Remember, he’s not a delicate flower who fusses about cursing, and this is a word he’s used himself, so it’s not the shock of hearing naughty language. He knows and loves his crew, so doubtless he has at least some idea what goes on below decks, so I doubt this is shock about the implications of male relations. No, I think this is the surprised face of a man who has had his secrets laid bare. And by this guy? THIS guy? This loud, vulgar lout has somehow READ his MIND and just put his deepest desire out there so casually? HOW did he KNOW? Stede has been SO. CHILL!

And, tellingly, Stede doesn’t say no. He doesn’t get nervous or insist that “it’s not like that” or “we’re just friends” or any of the no homo safewords we’ve come to expect from countless queerbaiting shows in the past. What he says is “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” in a light, offhanded way, which is rich, white dude for “I am not going to talk about this with YOU.” And when Jack tries to bait him with implications about his sexual history with Ed, Stede says “Ed’s past is Ed’s business, and I respect that.” He clearly has no problem with Ed being intimate with other men.

His problem is believing Ed could ever want that with HIM.

Yes, they had that Moment in the moonlight, but Ed had quite a lot of champagne at the party, and was emotionally vulnerable, and Stede was just being SO SLUTTY and OBVIOUS, wasn’t he, and Ed pulled himself back anyway, didn’t he? And Ed has credibly threatened to kill Stede TWICE since then (pulling a gun on him when Stede was reluctant to run him through, and then the whole confession in the bathtub). And so what if he’s flirty with Stede? He’s just a flirty guy. I mean, the others didn’t see him at the party, so full of esprit, so charming, that even brother-fucker Antoinette said he could finger her dents any time like an absolute TROLLOP.

Consider the scary story Stede tells the crew the night before Ed shows them how to stage a fuckery. What does he find scary? What’s his greatest fear? A weird, old guy who no one likes, and no one wants to kiss.

(my sweet baby boy. Please stop telling on yourself. Also, can we please take a moment to appreciate the HARD side-eye Lucius is giving Ed here? Epic.)

So it’s not that Stede is an unwitting seducer, or even that he’s the king of mixed signals. It’s devastatingly low self esteem come to ruin the day once more. He wants Ed SO BADLY, that it’s spurting out of him in ways he can’t control, and is apparently obvious even to the most casual observer, But a gentleman doesn’t press his suit unwanted. And who could possibly want a weak, soft-bellied, yellow, craven, weak-hearted, soft-handed, lily-livered little rich boy like him?