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#they’re also the best most supportive parents- it may take them time to adjust to things but they always
best-underrated-anime · 6 months
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Best Underrated Anime Group I Round 3: #I5 vs #I6
#I5: Comfort-food anime, 4 guys managing a cafe
#I6: Highschoolers babysit kids—funny and sweet.
Details and poll under the cut!
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#I5: Rokuhou-dou Yotsuiro Biyori
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Summary:
Kyousui “Sui” Tougoku inherits a traditional Japanese-style cafe called Rokuhoudou from his grandfather, which he manages alongside Gregorio “Gure” Valentino, Tokitaka Nagae, and Tsubaki Nakao. Their hospitality par excellence undoubtedly turns any one-time visitor into a regular. Having gone through their own share of trials and tribulations, the staff at this modest cafe do their best to serve their customers—whether it be through tea, sweets, or even helping with the various troubles one may have.
Although most days pass pleasantly, the small world of Sui and his friends takes an unexpected path when their reputation as a cafe flourishes overnight.
Propaganda:
The overall calming atmosphere of the café and the peace good food can bring—this forms the basis of the human interaction happening at Rokuhoudou, the café. We see people finding comfort in the food they have while at the café, and it seriously so sweet. A lot of people might enjoy this.
Trigger Warnings: None.
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#I6: School Babysitters (Gakuen Babysitters)
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Summary:
After losing both parents in a fatal plane crash, teenager Ryuuichi Kashima must adjust to his new life as the guardian of his younger brother Kotarou. Although Ryuuichi is able to maintain a friendly and kindhearted demeanor, Kotarou is a reserved toddler still too young to understand the reality of the situation. At their parents' funeral, they are approached by Youko Morinomiya, the stern chairman of an elite academy, who decides to take them under her care.
However, there is one condition Ryuuichi must fulfill in exchange for a roof over their heads and enrolment in the school—he must become the school's babysitter. In an effort to support the female teachers at the academy, a babysitter's club was established to look after their infant children; unfortunately, the club is severely short-staffed, so now not only is Ryuuichi responsible for his little brother, but also a handful of toddlers who possess dynamic personalities.
Propaganda 1:
It is one of the cutest slice-of-life shows, with some really sweet moments. It’s a bit sad that not many people know about it, because it is a very lovely show. Some downright hilarious moments with almost all lovable characters, each with their own quirks, and some unexpected, yet awesome friendships.
Propaganda 2:
It’s definitely one of my comfort shows. Cute, little slice of life where you see the activities of the kids in the club. (They’re super adorable and the stuff they do is so funny.) The bond between Kashima and his little brother, Kotaro, is so sweet, and I love seeing him open up to his new-found family.
Trigger Warnings:
Deaths in MC’s family, which are mostly mentioned in reference to grief. Nothing explicit or graphic. Also, one side character gets overly excited and has nosebleeds around the kids. It’s played for laughs, but at least he’s called out for it being weird. Lastly, there is a pedophile side character, and the other characters think he’s gross and find him uncomfortable to be with.
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When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.
If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.
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Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.
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gender-haver · 2 years
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My parents are the most adorable couple I swear
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uncouth-the-fifth · 3 years
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imagine damian and the reader at the wayne gala. he gets jealous when he sees her flirting with someone else. he ends up pulling her into a bathroom and fucking her in front of a mirror while saying that other person can’t treat her like he does
and that’s how the reader finds out damian has feelings for her. all this time he acted like he hates her because he’s in denial
Title: More Than They Ever Said
Paring: Robin!Damian (18+) / Canary!Reader
Tags/Warnings: semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), vaginal sex, bathroom sex, slight underage drinking (reader is like 20 lol), mentions of golf.
Word Count: 7150
Notes: sooooo.... this def evolved beyond a drabble lol. the way gala sex kills me every time 😭 I was a little mushy w Dami here bc I miss his sweet side. This also sounded a lot like goldenspecs12's request from Wattpad, so I hope you don't mind that I meshed the two together 😚 I leaned toward Damian liking the reader more than being in denial, but that’s the only thing I sacrificed between the two requests. This one is my fluffiest and most romantic yet 💖
"can I request Damian w a Queen reader, like she's Oliver and Dinah's child? say the reader is a hero but not very active, like she comes in when her parents can't. so when she and Damian meet, they hit it off. The main request is that they sneak away at a gala held by Oliver and the reader and Damian have sex."
Ask to be added to my taglist for future posts!
The party was more fun than you thought it would be.
Benefits were usually chalk-full of old, wealthy people that thought they made good conversationalists. The board members of Queen Industries were tired of Oliver trying to escape their claws, so you’d been recruited in his place. While your dad got to play minigolf in the penthouse’s massive party floor, you were confined to the lounge, playing up what an intelligent, capable business partner you’d be when you were CEO. Fellow businessmen gruffed about their plans with you while their wives cooed and drank, pinching your cheeks.
You thought that you’d hate it, but the attention and the praise was nice. It made you feel like you were helping your dad and your family’s company, which was constantly criticized and judged for it’s choice in CEO. Everyone called your father a lazy silver-spooned idiot, but he was one of the only men in Star City who actually cared. By the time you had Q.I’s biggest donors laughing out of their seats, Dinah’s hands slipped over your shoulders and you were kissed on the side of the face. Thank you, she mouthed, and your position as family support-beam was covered.
Since most of the benefit-goers were at least forty years your senior, you gravitated to your dad. From the penthouse’s upper balcony, you could see his friends circling around the tiny green mats they were using as a makeshift golf course. Usually, Ollie made sure his public persona’s aim was as garbage as his taste in drink was. But tonight, he played as Green Arrow, who never missed. Not once. Especially when it came to Bruce Wayne, who’s golf game was abysmal at best.
But like Oliver, Bruce was a new man tonight. It looked like he was ready to break out the batarangs any minute now. The two men were barely civil about the viciousness of their competition, and if the view of the game from the balcony was interesting, then from below it must’ve been the greatest show of fragile masculinity ever displayed. You had to make fun of them.
The only opening in the circle of men, who all had their hands on their chins as Bruce lined up his next shot, was by the floor-to-ceiling windows to one side of the game. Just one man stood there, hands in his pockets. You slid next to him, unbothered, and squinted at the game.
Everyone in the crowd was dead silent. Bruce was lining up his golf ball so it would roll into a mug a couple of feet away, so you helpfully provided, “A little to the left, Mr. Wayne.”
Your words overlapped with someone else’s. Where you had said Mr. Wayne, they had said Father. Then the man next to you was his son, but...
You would have never guessed it would be him.
Reasonably, you knew that Robin was Damian Wayne. Oliver could be a little loose-lipped at times, and by his judgment you’d been a teenager just a year ago - what could a twenty year old do to Batman’s secret identity? Not much.
Until you saw Robin without his mask.
Damian was achingly beautiful. He was your age, but he stood and talked like he was much older. There was an angle to his shoulder that made him seem astute and sexy. His eyes fixed on you when you spoke at the same time, and they were a surprising mossy color that jumped out against his tan skin, like plants flourishing out of rich soil. There was just enough blue in them to make him seem haunting. Any moment, you felt like he was going to corner you and whisper your future throatily in your ear.
Looking into them, those piercing eyes, for longer than a second made you want to blurt, “You’re much prettier without your mask.”
But that would expose his secret to every golf-loving idiot in earshot, so Oliver had been wrong. A twenty-year-old like you could do fatal damage to Batman’s secret identity, but for Damian, the short-tempered, snappish leader of the Teen Titans, you would risk anything.
Damian stared, and you stared. He squinted, wet his lips, then turned back to the game. This was your only acknowledgment that he recognised you. His voice was deeper, smoother, than you remember it. “Queen.”
You shifted in your shoes, almost laughing in shock. “...Wayne.”
The game grew boring and Damian didn’t say anything else, so you said nothing too, sneaking glances at him. The last time you’d spoken to Robin had been in costume, when he’d thanked you for assisting with a mission. He’d really been thanking you for standing up for him. You didn’t team up often with the Titans, but when you did, you found that they were unusually snappy and mean with their leader. Not necessary on purpose, but you could tell that Damian couldn’t take as many bites as he pretended to. Standing up for him had been a simple thing. The good thing to do. Now, with that look in his eyes, it almost felt like he still thought about it.
He must have, because the kiss you shared at the end of that mission had glowed with heat. To be fair, you both may have believed you were going to die (before the team pulled through and saved you), so it could’ve been a heat-of-the-moment thing. But this was Robin - if he didn't want to kiss you, he wouldn't. And yet he did.
You’d kissed. And the energy of that kiss lingered between you now, drawing you closer together, putting tiny smiles on your faces. He was cute. Cuter without that mask on.
You stood in the stupid golf silence, feeling foolish. Flirting with boys was much easier in fishnets. It didn’t help how fine Damian’s profile was. He had soft, feathery lashes that occasionally touched down on beauty marked cheeks. His lips were even fuller from the side, forever drawn in a curious line. And those eyes, when they caught yours and danced away again, were much too nice to hide behind a mask. You couldn’t get that thought out of your mind.
When Bruce finally made his move, you leaned in to whisper something to each other at the same time, accidentally knocking shoulders.
“I - apologies,” Damian flushed.
“Oh, um, my bad,” you rubbed awkwardly at the spot where you’d collided. “...You were going to say something?”
Damian’s eyes flicked to your fathers, then to you, unimpressed. He lowered his voice so only you could hear. “They’re awfully hypocritical, don’t you think? Father snaps at me everytime I use my skills in public, and yet he’s putting with perfect aim like it’s not the very same.”
Chuckling, you rolled your eyes and scooted closer, ducking your voice into the bubble between your bodies. “My dad’s the same way. Don’t aim in the house, he says, unless it’s him trying to beat Bruce Wayne.”
Your company’s shoulders turned sideways, leaning into you. His breath ghosted the hair on your neck, standing it on end, and again that silky voice sent tingles down your spine. Damian must change his voice as Robin, because he never spoke like this then. So huskily, so low.
He shook his head. “Unbelievable.”
You watched him. He watched you. You ran your tongue over your teeth, and Damian subtly adjusted his slacks from his pockets.
At the same time, you asked each other, “Would you like to get a drink?”
_
Your hiding place was a loveseat in the lounge, between more businessmen and their ditzy heirs. The bartender was your family’s, so he smiled and turned down your request for a drink, courtesy of your dad’s strictness. Luckily, he didn’t recognise Damian. You watched him order it at the bar, his rings catching the light, the muscle in his arms peeking out from under his blazer.
“I think he suspected I wasn’t of age, so he only gave me one.” He took the place next to you, propping his ankle on one knee and lounging out like a panther. Damian offered the cocktail to you, once he’d decided the coast was clear. It was a cute gesture. “Is that acceptable?”
You fished a five dollar bill out of your purse. “Only if you take this for paying. Don’t think I didn’t see you try and sneakily get that past me.”
Damian scrutinized the bill, then you, somehow managing to be a smartass without opening his mouth. Instead of thinking about how nice it would feel to kiss the slight crease between his brows, you traded hands with him so the bill was in his and the drink was in yours. The gentle brush of you palm to his knuckles put way too many butterflies in your belly.
You talked about everything and anything. About home, family life, your cities. The best of it was when Damian dipped his head so only you could hear him, keeping your secrets close and your bodies closer. This was the only way he talked about Robin, so you circled back to any vigilante subject you could think of just so Damian would keep purring into your ear like that. Better yet, he was smart. Talking to him was engaging, and within minutes he'd entranced you, so you sat there talking for more than an hour. Around you, the party rotated and went on.
At one point, you took a drink of the cocktail and passed it to him to share. Damian placed his lips right where yours had been, licking up the cocktail salt and gulping it down slow, adam’s apple bobbing, like it wasn’t the taste of the vodka he was savoring.
Eventually, your bliss was broken. Damian was called over to his father, again, to discuss business, and he left you with your remaining cocktail and the memory of that mission. You couldn’t find a reason to move from your seat. When you’d realized that you and Robin had been led into a trap on that mission, it’d been too late, and your efforts to escape became more and more futile. All you could do was pray the Titans got to you on time. Robin had offered you his glove as the walls closed in, and you’d watched up-close as he assumed you were both about to die. The fear in his eyes was strange - like it was familiar to him. At the same time, you cupped his neck and he held your upper back, and you’d kissed fervently, sweetly.
Damian had put his forehead to yours, and promised even as the trap shrunk around you, “You were excellent. More excellent than they ever said.”
In the big picture, it was a strange last remark to make, and afterwards you’d been too happy about surviving to think about it. But in the moment, you understood. You were understood. Somehow, Damian had reached into your soul and gouged out the words you’d been dying to hear, from your parents, from anyone, and uttered them to you with burning conviction. Maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe he meant it. Damian found you excellent. Someone, somewhere, didn’t think you were a failure.
Odd, how you’d never seen the face of the man you thought you’d die with (until now), and yet he saw you so easily. You watched him follow his father into the party crowd now, wondering. The Titans had saved you before you could ask what he’d meant. More importantly, before you could tell him the same. He was excellent.
_
Once you’d finished off your drink, you left it at the bar and grinned evilly at your family bartender. He rolled his eyes and slyly delivered you another, which, on your superhero schedule, would not have you drunk yet. Another heir to some big company was seated at your right, ignored by his father enough to look for some small talk with you.
He was one of the cute, nerdy types that were usually in awe of you. Girls, available girls, were typically rare at these kinds of parties, so he took you not having a boyfriend as permission to flirt with you. Unfortunately for him, your seat gave a perfect angle on Damian across the party floor. He was impressing the wives of Wayne business partners, who flocked around him like they’d flocked around you, pinching his cheeks. You could almost read their lips enough to guess what they were saying. What a handsome young man you are! Oh, Bruce must be so proud.
“...and then my father flipped over his kayak! Would you believe it? Two thousand dollars, thrown right in our family’s lake.” Your company snickered, howling at his own story.
You circled the rim of your glass, watching how Damian tried to teach some of the women phrases in Arabic. Unknown to them, they were some pretty funny swear words. It threw you into a bout of giggles, and the man next to you kept talking, spurred on by the noise.
The flock of hens around Damian receded, and his shoulders slouched in relief. That was cute, too. It wasn’t often that people understood how draining these parties were, but for people like you and Damian, it was a racetrack of endless, boring circles. Everything was a formality. Few things were genuine. Damian turned, and you caught his eye to let him know you were going to meet him. He nodded toward a side hall, his mouth a curious line again. If you looked at it long enough, it felt like a smile when he mouthed, escape?
Your company was still talking. He stopped when you grabbed his tie and planted a pity-kiss on his cheek, waving to him as you bounced away. “Sorry, kid. Not my type.”
_
You planned to bring Damian to the secluded balcony on the second floor to unwind, but instead, you were taken by the wrist and maneuvered into an empty powder room. It was colder than the steaming party air and smelled like champagne, with couches to sit on and mirrors to powder at. For a bathroom, the lights were warm and low. The noise of the party went quiet the instant the door was shut, like you and Damian had entered your own little world. No more circles. No more back and forth.
“Here,” Damian said, noting the mirrors. He tilted his head as he asked, like he was nervous, “Is this acceptable?”
“It is the ladies powder room, but I’ll give you a pass, since you’re cute.” You joked. Damian didn’t make a move to relax on one of the couches yet, hanging in front of you like there was more he wanted to say. There was more you wanted to say, too, but no good words came to mind.
But the silence wasn’t awkward. Again, Damian stared, and you stared. The glass he brought with him was set down. He put one fist on the counter beside the door, and like honey had been poured on your nerves, you realized how easy it would be for him to push you up against it. Kiss you senseless. Heat drooled off of him this close, and you wondered if he’d still lean in to whisper to you even if you were alone.
The lack of words drew to a point where something had to be said, anything, but his eyes felt so good on your skin and it was interesting to see him nervous. Something strange told you that Damian liked the silence, too.
You wet your lips with your tongue. Damian cleared his throat, and took a sip from his glass. “Was I interrupting something?”
“Between me and that guy?” You smiled gently, like you were reassuring him, and laughed to yourself. “Oh, man, you should’ve seen it, Damian. Poor kid really thought I was flirting with him. He’d totally convinced himself, it was hilarious.”
His profile was tense in the mirror, which you stole glances at to watch how the amber light played on his handsome skin. When Damian swallowed his drink, his throat rolled in the sexiest way, and immediately your mind fed you with visions of suckling, kissing, tonguing his neck.
“Why’d you ask?” Your eyes sparkled. Damian drew a step closer, and you used the opportunity to swipe a drop of alcohol from the corner of his lip with your thumb. “You jealous?”
It was the touch or the suggestion that made Damian pause. He didn’t stutter, but lagged over what to say, eyes vast and wanting as they raked over your face. “I don’t get jealous,” he clarified, “but… I do intend to be the only man to kiss you tonight.”
Damian’s hand took your chin. Your belly exploded with instant arousal, hitting you like a bullet of liquid lust. “You’re the only man who’s kissed me like that,” you whispered, taking his tie in hand. “I hope that’s always true.”
His voice had gone throaty. “May I kiss you again?”
Again, he reminded you.The two of you had kissed before, and it had been spectacular, terrifying, and excellent.
“Please,” you said, and Damian rushed to your aid.
Not a moment more was wasted. Curling his tie into your fist, you drew him in, slow and deep and wonderfully. Damian’s cologne hit you before his lips did, and both made your core throb for friction. Two broad hands slammed your hips into the door. His fingertips smoothed up the fabric of your dress, pressing you back and squeezing you in until you could feel his belt buckle against your belly. Damian was a sweet, magnetic kisser, chasing your lips like he was on a crusade to save them. Each time they met, he swam deeper. The point of his nose bumped against your cheek. You hummed your laugh against his lips, and Damian groaned as he pulled away, readjusting, twisting, testing the limits of the kiss. And you followed him at every step or more, revelling in his taste.
You didn’t want him to think you wanted the kiss to end, so you drew the hands braced under his blazer around his neck. Soon, that didn’t feel close enough, so you cupped each side of his face and pecked Damian until you were breathless. He brought you in until your arms were flat to his chest, the kiss almost vertical in its intensity.
He groaned when you parted, gasping and blinking just inches from your face. Your mouths were still connected by a thick string of drool, which hung until it split and clung to Damian’s chin and fell, marking a wet strip down into his collar. You panted, watching it go.
Damian left your waist to hold your wrists, keeping your hands around his face. He settled warmly into your touch, basking in it, and the pure enjoyment on his face made you smile. You wondered if anyone else had cared for him like this. If Damian had ever felt someone hold his face and treasure it. The thought gave you a strange urge, so you followed it.
You brought Damian’s brow level with your mouth and sweetly kissed his forehead. Then his nose bridge, then his temples. His face was so quickly warm that you giggled. In the most unsubtle way possible, Damian drew back his hips so you couldn’t feel the heat there, and closed his eyes, begging you to continue.
“I want you,” you whispered against his jaw.
Damian shivered. “You have me.”
You shifted one hand to his shoulder, giving yourself more room to nuzzle and kiss his neck. The line of drool was still there, so you cupped his skin and tilted his jaw up, and in one stroke, licked all the way to his earlobe. Damian’s moan poured from his mouth like a growing flood. You even felt his thighs press together between you, and pleasure tingled in your throat when he choked at the glide of your tongue.
He released your wrists, reached beside you, and locked the door with an audible click.
Then, Damian devoured you. Both hands hooked around your back, arching your chest into his, and finally, bringing his bulge between your hips. You clung to him for dear life, helpless as his teeth pressed into your neck like a vampire. Damian fed like one, too, suckling the skin there like he was starved. Your panties were so wet that you were desperate to get out of them, grinding your core against his.
Damian retreated, gasping. He licked the spit off of his lips and glared into your eyes. Bluntly, he said, “I want to eat you out.”
Once more, you kissed him, delirious with excitement. Your lungs burned for air, but your core burned harder for him. “Take off that suit and you can do whatever you want to me.”
His eyes gleamed. “I plan to.”
Quickly, you shoved your hands into his sleeves and pushed them off his shoulders, giving you a crisp glimpse at his carved shoulders. Damian's fingers blurred from button to button, but he saved the last for you on purpose. You worked in tandem and with little thought. If he could, Damian would steal a kiss, and you would bite his lip and chase him into more. When that last button was popped, his white button-down parted for a gorgeous plane of hard-earned muscle. His abs, ribs and pecs were pockmarked with scars, shrapnel marks and in some places, bullet holes. You stopped.
At your staring, Damian pressed his lips together.
“It's.. not appealing, I know,” he monotoned.
“No,” you disagreed, palming his stomach, “it’s impressive. All these do is show how strong you are, how long you've survived. You're so… built...” you didn't hide your thorough examination of him, “...I mean, we have to be to do what we do, but still… It suits you. It's sexy.”
You worried you'd ruined the moment with your babbling, but he glimmered under your praise. Damian brightened in the way only Damian could, smirking devilishly and towering over you like a supervillain.
“Sexy?” He pressed his naked chest into yours, whispering hotly in your ear. You could feel his silk tie pinned between you. “Does that mean I'm your type?”
You rolled your eyes. “Eavesdropper.”
“Temptress,” Damian replied, just as easily.
To claim your title, you found Damian's belt and pulled on it until the clasp gave. It made a satisfying whipping noise as you ripped it off of him, shouldered into his space to grab his waist in one hand, and cupped his throbbing boxers in the other. Damian's sigh came hoarsely and wanton from his mouth.
“Fuck me,” you demanded, grinning with delight.
Instead of wasting time on a response, Damian fell to his knees, a faithful worshipper. He did the gentlemanly thing and helped you kick off your heels. The tile was icy on your bare feet, but it only mattered until Damian ran his hands up your thighs. Sliding his fingers underneath the fabric, he bunched it up your middle, peering up at you smugly through his lashes. You could feel the debauchery of it - Damian, on his knees, tie hanging still from his neck, pinning you to the door. You, your legs spread and wanting.
Damian sucked in a breath. Your panties had an obvious wet patch, put there by him. He thumbed it carefully, watching your brows tense and your eyes close, basking in your initial whine. All of it enchanted him. You were soaking because of him, trembling because of him, marked because of him. There was not one place he would rather be than here.
Damian collected your sweetness and sampled the taste on his thumb, trapping it behind his smug smile. He ran his tongue over his teeth, spreading the flavor around his mouth, savoring it. As Damian rolled your underwear down your legs, his cock twitched in his open fly. You were beautiful. Oh, he was going to enjoy this.
“Put your leg over my shoulder,” Damian ordered, smirking, “I want to taste you.”
Warmth exploded in your cheeks. “G-go ahead.”
Gradually, you situated your leg across his back, pussy tensing at the touch of the cooler air. This didn't matter for long. Damian's warm lips nuzzled and kissed the thigh closest to him, painting messy reflective circles on your skin with his kiss. Even that made your legs tense wildly, so Damian shoving his wet, blazing tongue into the folds of you cunt pumped moan after moan from your mouth.
“Damian!” You yelped.
Oh, he definitely liked that. Damian pinched your ass and used his mouth so passionately that his head shook back and forth. He darted right for your clit, sucking it until his cheeks were hollow and humming smugly between your legs with every squeal. Parting your folds with one hand, Damian kissed your core just as dirtily as he'd kissed you. The dangerous glint in his eye never faded. He plunges his tongue inside you in earnest, slurping obscenely, purposefully. There's no need for Damian to shoot you cute looks or put on a show - his skill was the performance, because that skill was unbeatable. Your pussy was already tender, fucked nerveless by Damian's filthy mouth. He vibrated your cunt with a deep groan before he drew away, face dripping with slick like a pornstar’s.
“You're suitably wet,” he said, matter-of-factly, “would you like me to use my fingers?”
All the strength you had went into a weak, pleading nod.
Damian was polite enough to grant you your bearings first, letting you grip his hair and squeeze the counter before he resumes. You give him the sweetest, most precious whine when Damian licks you open again. He wisely starts with one finger and builds from there, earning you with pumps and curls of his digits. Damian's talents quickly become a currency, one that you exchange with mewls and pants of praise.
“So good,” you whine, “oh, fuck - fuck, just like that…”
Damian smirks between your legs, jamming his fingers faster into your sore pussy. Lust sizzles low in your gut, ramped up again and again by his thrusting. It’s so powerful that you roll and buck off the door, your hips in his face. You want him - want him more than you want anything.
“You're ravaging,” Damian hums between licks. His eyes are closed, but that only gives the way he touches you more meaning.
It’s so surprising from his mouth that your hold on his hair slips, setting Damian free. He pants, catching his breath, and it’s easily the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. The effort has slouched him from his knees to his calves, further spreading his legs and opening up the fly of his pants. A solid bulge has formed and spilled out there, straining to escape his briefs like an arm in a sling that’s too small, way too small, for someone of his size. Three of Damian’s fingers are still twisting inside of you.
Slowly, Damian tipped back his head and hung down, arranging himself beneath your cunt. “So beautiful.” His free hand splayed where your leg met your hip. “May I touch you?”
“I-I get it’s the gentleman thing to do, to - to keep asking, but fuck, Damian,” you cursed, “you can do whatever you want to me.”
Damian’s intense jade eyes were so dilated that you could barely make out the color. He dragged his cheek against your thigh, fingers still circling inside you, and grinned like a shark. It was probably a bad idea to give the heir to the Demon’s Head that much power over you.
His other hand squeezed your skin, slow to passionate, from your belly to your breasts beneath your dress. It’s clear by the way Damian looks at you that he loves what he sees. The texture of his veiny, calloused hands feels good on your waist and ass, dragging you closer to him. He chuckles when your back arches, when your nails press into his hands, his back muscles, throwing himself into his task. Damian’s nose prods your folds as he licks you clean, tongue dipping and sliding against your sore clit. It’s like he’s done this for you before, in this exact way. Though he utilizes his tongue the most, his lips too are brutal, matched perfectly to fit your pussy lips.
But that tongue - how Damian’s jaw isn’t tired, you don’t know. He parts your folds and latches onto your clit, flicking his tongue at superspeed until drool and cum bubbles from your sensitive core. Your back winds tighter at every vibrating lick, paralyzing the muscles in your legs with glorious pleasure. It’s so exquisite you start to melt to the floor like warm clay, only to be bolstered back up by Damian, both hands viciously squeezing your ass. He keeps going not for you, but himself, sucking down every last drop of your juices.
Shattered, you twist hopelessly into his mouth, chasing the strained feeling like it’s the last you’ll ever glimpse. “Fuck, fuck - D-Damian, ah…”
“Did it feel good when I made you cum?” He teases, “It certainly tastes good. All those filthy little noises you make for me…” Damian shakes his head at himself, like it’s too fantastic to indulge again. He leaves your clit with a satisfied kiss. “Beautiful.”
Once more, the words are surprising to hear from him. You always considered Damian the prude type, but here he is, on his knees for you, mouth and chin glittering with your juices while he teases you in low, sexy tones. At your surprised look, Damian has the gall to blush.
With his ring finger in his mouth, he ponders, “If a man has never said that to you before...” pop, “consider me surprised.”
“Never while finger-fucking me, at least,” you admited, legs still trembelling. “It was sweet. You… you meant that?”
It was hard to imagine Damian Wayne finding anything beautiful. Even you, who was pretty enamored with him, figured he would judge by quality or skill, not beauty. The words tasted new on his tongue.
Slowly, Damian stood and stretched, his shoulders tight after staying in the strange position for so long. Lifting his arms coincidentally let his waistband sit lower on his hips, flashing his green boxers your way while showing off the huge, carved muscles of his arms. Truly, Damian’s subtlety was unmatched. You didn’t mind his miniature bragging fest - not when he had so much to brag about. Eating you out had put an excited shimmer in his skin, so the gold-toned lights of the room reflected sexily off his sweat, already accenting his kissable tan.
“I did,” he told you, moving on to his sucking middle finger. His other hand played on your thigh, stroking it. “I’ve always been… drawn to you. Every mission we’ve had together. I have a profound feeling that we are very similar.”
You laughed. Not at what he said, but the timing of it. “Would you believe me if I said I felt the same way?”
Damian made a face like his heart was doing jumping jacks. “A few hours ago? No. But now…” he barricaded you against the door, first with his hands and then his hips, closed in so tightly that you had to look past your nose to meet his eyes. “Your crush is adorably obvious. I’m annoyed that I didn’t see it before.”
Your rounded your hands against Damian’s shoulders, then his tie. It twisted nicely around your fingers, silky and cold in comparison to your flushed skin. You were tempted to fix your dress, but nothing, not even the world ending, could make you leave this room.
“My crush is obvious? Damian, all you’ve done for the last two hours is sneak me drinks and imply how much easier it is to be around me.” You grinned, “What’d you say earlier? There you are, Queen. Finally, someone intelligent enough to speak to me.”
Damian shrugged. “It’s true. Your knowledge of bioluminescent ocean life is fascinating.”
“I can’t believe you said that after giving me head for ten minutes.”
“It’s actually been closer to twelve,” Damian smirked.
Playfully, you pinched Damian’s cheek, then pulled him by the tie into a starved, energetic kiss. He must’ve been praying for your permission to continue, because the plan he’d been forming is quickly put into action. You’re hugged, arms scooped under your back as you kiss him. Damian surrenders his mouth to a bit of revenge tonguing while undoing your dress. No amount of kissing will pull him from his task, but your hand is a special case - it smooths down the front of his boxers and Damian melts.
“Y/N,” he groans.
Damian petulantly resists the temptation to close his eyes, but your touch is soft and sweet, demanding him to yield. Your lips suckle on his neck and Damian’s knees buckle. If getting his mouth between your legs didn’t turn him on, then this will finish him for sure.
“I missed you. Kissing you.” You purr into his throat. “One could never be enough for me.”
Is this what it’s like to be wanted? Damian asked himself. The only possible answer thrilled him, and he found himself pouring even more passion into the kiss, into you, wanting to share that rush of affection. You respond to his every touch with vigor. Damian’s heart stalls each time your thumb strokes his face, each time the other strokes him through his slacks.
“Me either,” he rasped, and helped you out of your dress. His tone was shy, but his words held too much depth to be meaningless. I want a wealth of them. I always want to kiss you, was what he wanted to say, but Damian was too embarrassed to raise the words. This moment was too special to ruin with his hopeless romanticism. He kissed you again and again, and to his amazement, you kissed him right back.
“Fuck me,” you begged him between breaths. “Right here. I don’t care if we’re caught.”
I don’t care if we’re seen together. I want to be seen with you, I’m not ashamed of you.
Damian cupped your face and almost knocked you both over with the strength of his kiss. Nose-to-nose, eyes closed, he commanded, “Bend over the fucking counter.”
In a blink, Damian turned and there you were, open and waiting for him. The sink was hip-level, so the bend was nothing but perfect - Damian could fuck you from behind and watch your lust-blown reflection without issue. Your perfect pussy drooled leftover cum down your legs, making your sex shine in the light.
In the mirror, you watched Damian’s eyes darken in delight. His pupils followed the line of your ass to your back, appreciating it like an artist would, like he intended to paint you later and needed to memorize the greatest shapes of your figure. The marble was icy against your hard nipples, which Damian had exposed when he’d impatiently shoved down your bra. Now, he cupped one of your breasts as he bent over you, kissing and suckling his way down your back.
“Perfect,” Damian hissed.
Shyly pressing your butt back against him, you buried your face in your arms and bit your lip, waiting for him to open you up. Damian’s shadow came to hover over you, and in the mirror his eyes were vicious, pools of circling sharks. “Are you ready?”
“Mhm,” you nodded. “Take your time.”
Though you weren’t being sarcastic, Damian took it that way and pinched one cheek of your ass. “With you? I will.” Then, with the same smoothness, Damian asked, “Condom?”
“Pill,” you replied, and Damian nodded his approval.
His pants rustled as they fell down his legs. Where you couldn’t see, Damian committed the sight to memory - his cock in hand, your pussy spread open, all for him. You squeaked when his hot tip touched your cooling clit, and squeaked again when it glided down your pussy and tested your opening. He knew he’d found the way when you winced.
In an unsurprising moment of compassion (for those who truly knew him), Damian kissed the top of your head and offered you his hand. “Would you like to hold it while I…?”
You took his hand and squeezed it to your chest, squeezing him closer in the process, too. “Thank you. Go slow, for this part…”
Damian complied. His sweat-sticky chest hovered warmly over your back. Even if Damian was big, you were wetter than you’d ever been in your entire life - any pain would quickly slide into pleasure. He braced himself with a deep inhale, and a hot, sharp sensation told you that he’d entered you. Where you choked in a needy gasp, Damian poured out his version of a whimper. You both held it. Then, breath by breath, you were struck with the realization that you’d been dying to feel this for weeks, for months, and only now was that heat being satisfied. Damian’s tongue and fingers had come close, but this is what would cure that aching emptiness - his big, girthy cock.
The deathgrip you had on Damian’s hand loosened. “You look perfect,” he murmured into your hair, instantly making your core flutter. “Oh,” he chuckled filthily, “you like that? Funny, how badly that idiot at the bar wanted to be in my place right now…but it’s me who gets to pound into—”
“Damian,” you warned.
He smiled smugly against your neck. “Nothing.”
Dutifully, Damian withdrew his hips, taking all of the heat with him. When he rolled back in, a hot, tingling sensation roared over all of your senses, and you let the moan at the top of that tsunami loose. It was clear that he couldn’t fuck you like he wanted to with one hand fished down at your side, so he glued both to the base of your back and started to thrust in earnest.
“So full...” You mewled, and Damian became a human pile-driver.
Your head seemed to roll off your shoulders with every crazed, rhythmic slam, so you grabbed the faucet and held on for dear life. Every slap was so loud, so powerful, that you prayed this one random bathroom in the penthouse was soundproofed. Anyone walking past would know you were getting railed out of your mind. You tried to compensate by moaning and squeaking quietly, but with force came volume. It didn’t matter how silent you were, Damian’s hips, your ass, the squelch of him inside you - each noise filled the bathroom, echoing off the tile.
The only way you could think to describe him was filling. First, there was the hot, cinching tension of his hands fused to your waist. Then there was his cock, which begged to be squeezed more and more with every pass. You responded to each throb with a mighty clench, which bent Damian over you like an animal, gasping for breath. His balls were painted with your slick. The closer you came to orgasm together, the closer Damian came to you. His hands migrated to higher on your sides, then up by your shoulders, then around you, where Damian kissed your back and rubbed your belly while he made love to you. He talked more than he moaned. Your ear was filled with sweet nothings, with vicious promises of what he would do with a whole night alone with you.
Damian’s reflection was wild with lust. He met your eyes as he fucked you, whispering how beautiful you are, how good you take his dick. His deep green eyes were so dark you couldn’t make out the brown in them anymore. The long muscles on his arms drew taut with each thrust, making his biceps bulge and pin your hips to the sink. Soon enough, a bruise would form from the pressure. One of many treasures from tonight - you would be thinking about Damian in his crisp suit for months to come, and the mess he’d become with you now even longer. Your pleasure built and built and built, like a nail struck further into the ground with a hammer. A very, very big hammer.
“M’ cumming,” Damian husked, slowing his plowing to a sloppy glide. Even his endurance was spent, and you were glad he’d spent it all on you. “Where d’ you…?”
You braced your hands on the counter, then on one of Damian’s. Together, you smoothed his digits down your stomach and between your soft, abused folds. “Inside me, please, please please—” you begged him, “fuck, a-as deep as you can go.”
As a test of your flexibility, Damian turned in and kissed you. Just as he parted your lips with his tongue, he parted your folds with his fingertips, overriding your clit as his cock throbbed inside you to the hilt. He took the invitation as a command. Damian pressed in until you could feel his abs mold to your ass, then stuttered his hips in quick, agonized dips to get himself there. With his fingers and his cock putting stars in your eyes, you finished first.
The white marble counter fizzed in your vision, until all you could see was that powerful, endless white, humming in your mind’s eye. Still, Damian wasn’t finished yet. You bumped your temple against his chin and hummed, “Cum for me, baby… fuck, a-ah!”
Your pussy’s throb raced and raced until it spilled over, pulling Damian right under the current. One clench and he was done for, so the velvety, periodic squeeze of your cunt emptied his store. You hung there, spasming in unison, until that overwhelming heat spurted in a ring around Damian’s cock and flooded out of you. Only then did his fingers stop on your clit, and you settled warmly in each other's arms and tried to remember your names and who you were.
Damian pulled out, then snuggled back in. He would’ve been nervous any other time, but he’d just put his dick inside you, so a little instinctive cuddling could be forgiven. On shaky legs, you turned around and sunk into him. You could tell by how he was eyeing the sink that he was desperate to get clean again, so with one kiss (on the cheek), you set Damian loose.
In companionable silence, Damian cleaned up and you collected the clothes abandoned on the floor. Staring at the corner where you’d just had the best sex of your life put an embarassingly pleasant warmth in your chest. Interesting, how one terrifying moment could become something as special as this. Fascinating, how you’d felt like you’d known him all your life.
“You know… I think you’re excellent, too.” You told him, finishing off the knot for his tie.
Damian dipped his head to hide his smile, but something so bright was impossible to hide.
3K notes · View notes
gukyi · 4 years
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love me or we both go down | kth
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summary: after going through with an arranged marriage to please his parents and secure his inheritance of the family business, kim taehyung thinks he’s got it all figured out. he doesn’t. apparently just being married to you isn’t enough, not when everybody and their mother can pick up on the fact that the two of you absolutely loathe each other. but taehyung wants his inheritance one way or another, so he decides that desperate times call for desperate measures: the two of you need to fall in love, and you need to fall in love fast.
{enemies to lovers!au, arranged marriage!au, rich kids!au}
pairing: kim taehyung x female reader genre: fluff, angst, smut (i know, crazy right?) word count: 32k warnings: oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, multiple unprotected sex scenes (they’re married y’all), fat cock tae, tae has a wife kink, lots of praise, alcohol consumption (but they’re safe), minor character death (not explicit), mentions of heart attack, slow burn like there is no tomorrow a/n: hello and welcome to the fic everyone, literally everyone, has been waiting for! i am so, so, so excited to share this with you all, especially because none other than rose @kinktae​ helped me write the smut, and i am literally forever indebted to her. you all better go spam rose with all the love and support you can because this fic would not be here without her and i love her so much. 
also, to all my readers who aren’t comfortable reading smut, please know that the smut in this fic is not imperative to the storyline, and you skipping past it will not affect your reading experience., enjoy!
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Never in your life have wedding bells felt so ominous.
The sound of them is akin to the sound of strings, of a single piano note in a horror movie, right when the film opens and someone random is about to die on screen for the sake of proving to the audience that this is, in fact, a horror movie. Make no mistake about it; these wedding bells spell doom for you, too. And the most horrific part about them is that just like that poor, helpless soul in the movie, there is no way for you to escape your fate either. 
With only seconds left to go before you have no choice but to promise yourself to the man waiting at the other end of the aisle, you desperately try to think of any last-ditch efforts to get out of this. Many, if not all of them, are utterly useless. 
Feigning sudden illness won’t work, because then your parents will just reschedule the wedding to a later date. Running away is fruitless. Where will you go? The parking lot?
If only you had a lover out there in the audience somewhere that could object to the marriage when the officiant says, “Speak now, or forever hold your peace.” A knight in shining armor that could whisk you out of the venue and off to a new life, far away from here. Too bad all of the people you’ve dated before hate you now. 
Maybe getting married isn’t such a bad thing after all. Instead of having relationships with multiple people who will eventually despise your existence, you only have to have a relationship with one. And the feeling, as has always been, is mutual. 
You bristle as your assistants do some last-minute prepping, fixing your sleeve and adjusting your necklace and making sure you don’t trip on your enormous train. They flutter around you like a swarm of well-meaning but ignorant butterflies complicit in the agenda of your family. None of them have said a word to you about the wedding ever since you arrived at the venue, choosing to talk more about things like the weather. Not that you were ever under the impression they had been hired to entertain you. Maybe they were told to not engage you, just in case you try to conspire with them.
As if they could be of any use in your wildly unrealistic escape plans. 
The truth is that, unless you were to drop dead on this marble flooring right now, you’re getting married. Whether you like it or not.
The doors open. 
You’ve attended red carpets, galas, award shows, and balls. You’ve had hundreds of cameras flashing in your face, the bright light capturing each and every centimeter of you. You’ve had paparazzi waiting outside the restaurants you eat at, the stores you shop at, desperate to catch a picture of you in sweatpants without a drop of makeup on. You’ve been on dates with ex-lovers that looked at you like you were a piece of meat with a credit card. And yet, for some goddamn reason, walking down the aisle in a white dress the size of Pluto, with the rest of your life waiting for you at the other end, makes you feel fucking transparent. 
Face resolute, you clutch onto your bouquet so tightly the flowers feel like they’re about to pop right out of your grasp. Determined not to look at anybody in the audience, you stare straight ahead, right into the eyes of your future husband.
Kim Taehyung, for someone you have seen multiple times drunk off his ass with hickies dotting his neck and jawline, cleans up pretty well. For someone getting married, at least. He dons a simple black tuxedo that still probably costs more than the average car, his caramel brown hair is pushed back off his forehead, and his expression is firm and still. He most certainly has had an equally expensive team prepping him, but they haven’t done too bad a job. The silver lining is that he doesn’t look any more thrilled than you are to be doing this, right here, right now. But to his credit, this is definitely the best he’s ever looked, as far as you’re concerned. 
When you reach him, he offers his hand out to you, a hand that you only accept for the sake of professionalism. The bouquet in your hands is handed off to one of your bridesmaids, and the two of you take your position at the front. Your train drags along the aisle, draping over the few stairs you had to climb to reach the altar, this satin trail behind you that cements you to the floor. It may as well be a ball-and-chain. It’s about as heavy as one, anyway. 
This is the longest you and Taehyung have ever held eye contact. Not that you’re really keeping track of how long the two of you have met each other’s gazes, but if you had to make an educated guess, this would definitely be the victor. Most of the time you end up sneering at each other ten seconds in, but to be fair, those other times you were also not getting married. To one another. In a ceremony attended by hundreds of people. And cameras.
There can be no sneering here. 
“Don’t you look nice?” Taehyung whispers, loud enough so only the two of you can hear. He has that drawling, sickly sweet tone to his voice, the one that you hate because it makes him sound like he thinks he’s so much better than everyone else. “Surprised they were able to makeup that scowl off your face.”
This, of course, brings on a hearty scowl only he can see, your backs both facing the rows of attendees. “How much concealer are you wearing to cover up all of the hickies on your neck?” You quip back easily. It’s not like the two of you are going to pretend he doesn’t waltz around at every club or bar or private venue he can find, looking for his next treat. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Taehyung grins, and if you weren’t standing in front of hundreds of people about to get married, there’s no telling what next you would do.
The two of you would probably go on like that for another ten minutes if it’s not for the officiant, who coughs once he’s ready and opens the book in his hands. Next to you, Taehyung straightens, hands clasped together at his front, and lips pressed into a neat line. You do the same. There will be no giggles, no laughter nor smiles, nor any genuine emotion at this wedding. This is a wedding for the sake of politics, for economics, for security, and anyone in attendance would be a fool to think otherwise. Especially you. 
“Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, loved ones, and esteemed guests,” the officiant bellows, listing off as many groups of people as he possibly can in an effort to both include and compliment every person in the audience, “We are gathered here to celebrate the wedding, and future life, of Taehyung and Y/N…”
Taehyung turns to you, grinning in that god-awful way, the way he does when he feels like he’s got something over you. And sure, you can’t think of any punishment quite as bad as this, but what’s Taehyung got to smile about? He’s marrying himself off to a woman he hates, kissing goodbye his days as a free-spirited, heartbreaking bachelor, and promising what may very well be the rest of his life to loving you. That is not cause for celebration. 
But perhaps, to him, your suffering is enough to bring a smile to his face. 
Your vows are, to put it simply, total bullshit. Your family hired someone to write yours and there’s not a doubt in your mind that his family did the same thing. This nonsense talk, this complete and utter garbage that spews from your perfectly-glossed lips, shit about how you promise to love each other until the end of your days, how you promise to take care of each other when you’re sick and accompany each other at every event, every gala, every ball. Shit about how you promise to look only at each other, promise to uphold your family traditions and become a dependable spouse. 
The words don’t belong to you. But the thing is that this marriage was never yours anyway. 
When the kiss comes, there’s a part of you that thinks maybe you should have psyched yourself up a little more for this. When Taehyung pulls you in, placing a stiff hand on your lower back as he brings you towards his chest, your stomach turns and shivers run down your spine. The feeling of his hand on your body, the breath from his lips brushing against your own, are enough to keep you frozen in place. 
He smiles at you, almost as if to ask, “Are you ready?”
And you squeeze your eyes shut, almost as if to respond, “Let’s do this.”
When his lips meet yours, there is almost nothing. Nothing runs through you, nothing explodes, nothing strikes. But when he pulls away and cheers and applause rings out throughout the room, there is something. A little heat, a remnant of a flame, left on your lips. A little sting, just to remind you it happened. 
The entire hall is cheering but nothing about this is worth celebrating. The fact of the matter is that you and Taehyung will never love each other the way that you are supposed to. 
“Ugh, finally.”
The elevator doors haven’t even properly opened by the time Taehyung is loosening his tie, tugging it off over his head as he stretches his head back and runs a hand through his perfectly-styled hair. As he rakes his fingers through his caramel locks, the hairspray and gel loosens, strands falling down by the side of his face, framing his temple.
“Don’t sound so relieved,” you huff out, deciding now is as good a time as any to start getting undressed yourself. Reaching down to lift up the hem of your reception dress, you tug off your heels, already feeling lighter on your feet. Who cares if Taehyung is watching you pull off your stilettos like a defeated movie heroine? You don’t think you can walk another step in those shoes. “We still have to live together, you know.”
“Don’t remind me,” Taehyung says gruffly, brushing by you roughly as he stomps out of the elevator. “I’m just glad the fucking night is over. I swear, seeing that fake-ass smile on your face made me want to gouge my eyes out.”
You storm after him, refusing to be the helpless damsel in this situation. “Oh, like you didn’t also have that exact same fake-ass smile on your face. It almost made me think you were actually enjoying yourself tonight.”
“I was only enjoying the fact that I know you hate this just as much as I do.” It’s perhaps the only thing you will ever be able to empathize with him on. Mutually relishing in the other’s destruction. Taehyung fumbles with the keypad to the door to the penthouse for a moment before you hear the lock click, the door sliding open as the entrance lights flicker on. 
The reason Taehyung’s penthouse is so clean is because he’s never lived here before. Neither of you have—Taehyung’s parents bought it just for the two of you. And as much as you absolutely despise the idea of having to live with him, at least it was not you who paid for your place of residence. 
You can tell Taehyung’s never lived here before because it’s actually quite nicely decorated inside. The ceilings are high and the sleek velvet curtains are pulled open, revealing a shimmering skyline. The furniture is modern and functional, and the whole damn place smells brand new. You’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of entering the place Taehyung lived in before now, and it looked nothing like this. The furniture was worn and stained despite the live-in maid, the house reeked of five hundred different spices that wafted from the kitchen to the living room, and the bookshelves were covered with comics, graphic novels, and old textbooks. 
If it weren’t for the fact that you and Taehyung are rich kids in their twenties that hate each other, you might have actually thought the place looked… homey. 
You don’t have time to be impressed by the interior design and architecture skills of whoever designed this place. Right now, all you can think about is tugging yourself out of your airtight reception dress and passing out on the nearest bed. Which, hopefully, will be as far away as possible from Taehyung’s bed of choice. 
“How many bedrooms does this place have?” You ask, shimmying along the floor so you don’t trip over the hem of your dress. From the looks of it, you can see one giant hallway to your right and a massive, double-sided staircase leading up. 
“Enough,” Taehyung grumbles in response. The hazy stupor from all of the fancy champagne is starting to wear off for the both of you, leaving behind two grouchy, begrudgingly-married individuals who want absolutely nothing to do with each other and have no problems making that known. Whatever golden light of the evening that was making Taehyung at least a little bit more attractive than usual has faded, and now you see him for what he really is: an unceremoniously tired man in a suit. “You want upstairs or down?”
You gaze up at the marble staircase in front of you, then back down at your too-long dress. “Down.” The last thing you want is to trip in front of the man you have to see, every day, for the rest of your life. 
“Fine by me.” Taehyung’s halfway up the stairs by the time he turns back around to say something else. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess?”
“Yeah.” There’s no point in being hostile now. The both of you are too exhausted to mean anything by it. Besides, what else can you say? Everything to complain about has already been complained about. At least the two of you managed to wrestle out from your parents the stipulation that you would not be going on a honeymoon together. Now that would have been your worst nightmare. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
It’s as good of a goodnight either of you are going to get. Taehyung heads up the stairs and disappears around a corner, and you start wandering down the hallway. All the bedrooms look the exact same other than different colors on the walls and bedsheets, but they all look serviceable to you. Clean. Empty. Far away from wherever Taehyung is. 
You pick the one at the very end of the hall just to be as much of a diva as possible, and don’t even bother drawing the curtains before tugging off your dress. It’s past one in the morning, and you’re so high up you don’t think anyone will be able to see you anyway. By the time you’ve stripped naked and are tugging up the too-tight sheets tucked into the mattress, your legs are about to give out beneath you. The bed could be made of rocks for all you care. Anything to lie down on is fine by you. 
Sleep comes fairly easily to you tonight. Once your head hits the pillow you can already feel yourself drifting off, eyelids fluttering shut, but you don’t sleep quite yet. Not before you can think about how this is your life now, sleeping in a foreign bed in a foreign place with a foreign husband upstairs. This is what you will be living in now. Now and forever. 
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Living with Taehyung is, in both the best and worst ways possible, like living with a roommate that doesn’t give a shit about the fact that they live with another person. It’s good, because you and Taehyung hardly see each other and speak even less, which was pretty much the only thing you were asking for when it came to living with him. But it also sucks, because whenever you do happen to cross paths, Taehyung acts like you don’t exist, barely sparing you a hello or even that tight-lipped smile you send to drivers on the road when they let you cross the street. 
Not that the two of you ever engaged in energetic conversation before you got married. But at least the two of you would acknowledge each other, even if only to shoot a glare and a scowl the other’s way from opposite sides of a hotel ballroom. Maybe it’s just because it’s him, but you did always find yourself actually relishing in those little interactions with Taehyung. In this strange, twisted way, it seemed to provide some sort of continuity to your ever-changing life. Like no matter what happened, at least you would know that the two of you would always despise each other. 
To be frank, right now you’re not sure if Taehyung even remembers he got married at all.
Nights have been a lot more sleepless since your wedding day. After two weeks, the reality of it has finally started to settle in. This is your life now. And ever since you realized that, your bed has felt much less comfortable. 
“But the place is nice, right?”
You look around the living room from where you’re sat on the sleek, white suede leather couch, eyes glossing over the bookshelves, the floor-to-ceiling windows, the draping velvet curtains. From here, you can see the entire city skyline, flecks of gold from the windows of skyscrapers against a navy blue background. Slowly, as the moon creeps over the sky and the clock gets later and later, those lights will soon begin to flicker off, one by one. 
“Yeah, it’s not bad.” Nothing to write home about. That is, if home were a place other than here. 
“That’s good. At least you don’t live in, like, a total dump or anything,” Victoria says on the other end of the line. “How’s Taehyung?”
His name alone elicits this deeply-exhausted sigh from your lips, like it’s been ten years since you married and every day has felt worse than the last. “Fine.” You can’t really complain about anything yet, considering that you hardly ever see the man. 
“Just ‘fine’?” Victoria sounds skeptical. 
“Yeah,” you draw out the word, as if trying to convince yourself of its truth. “I mean, it’s like he doesn’t even live here. I barely see him. And when I do, we don’t even speak to each other.”
“That’s good though, isn’t it? You hate him.” Victoria says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And in a sense, it kind of is. 
“I mean…”
“I know that your life hasn’t exactly… gone the way you had planned, but isn’t this your best case scenario when considering everything?” She asks. “If Taehyung is as distant as you say he is, isn’t it almost like you never married him in the first place?”
As if on cue, you hear footsteps coming down the stairs, heels clicking on the marble as they make their way to the entrance. You whip your head around to find Taehyung, all dressed up in loose, flowy slacks and a flowery silk button-down, strolling down the staircase as he scrolls through his phone, paying you zero attention whatsoever. 
He notices you briefly when he reaches the bottom, meeting your eyes with his own. He offers this measly, unenthused half-smile your way before he grabs his wallet and some house keys from the table by the entrance, opens the door, and vanishes off into the night. 
If you hadn’t been in the living room, you probably wouldn’t have even realized he left. Not that you being present as he’s planning on leaving would have stopped him anyway. This is the sixth night he’s done this in the past two weeks. You could stand by the door and stare him down as he emerges from his bedroom, all dressed up for something you’re definitely not invited to, and he would offer you that same goddamn smile and walk out the door without even blinking. Who he was before you got married and who he is now are no different. Not even a ring could change that. 
“I guess,” you tell Victoria. At least Taehyung hasn’t turned into a helicopter husband. “I don’t know. Maybe I just wish that I didn’t have to deal with him at all.”
Wish you could turn back time. Wish you could worm your way out of an arranged marriage before it was too late. Wish you could go back to the way things used to be. 
You and Victoria talk for another couple of minutes before she regretfully has to end the call, citing both her beauty sleep and an 8AM meeting tomorrow morning as her reasons for hanging up. The moment you put the phone down, you sink back into the couch cushions, staring out the windows at the world below you.
Here’s the deal. What Taehyung does in his free time is none of your business. But also, it’s totally your business, because you are his spouse. A spouse who is an equal amount in the public eye as he is. What he does and does not do has a direct impact on what you do and do not do. 
It’s no secret that when you catch Taehyung sauntering down the stairs looking like a Gucci runway model, it’s not because he’s planning on catching a movie with a college friend and then playing video games for four hours on a couch in a basement. He is going out. To clubs, to parties, to exclusive events that he’s been invited to by his equally-rich friends, all of whom are acting like he’s the same bachelor he’s always been. 
And maybe that’s the real problem with your whole marriage—other than the glaringly obvious issue that it’s a marriage wholly unwanted by the two parties involved in it. Despite the ring on his finger, Taehyung is going out and pretending that nothing in his life has changed while you’re trapped at home, desperate to save you and your family’s reputation by keeping as low a profile as possible. You would give anything to march around the city all day, flashing middle fingers at paparazzi as you shop at your favorite high-end stores and frequent your favorite clubs. But you can’t, because your family’s fortune and influence is on the line. 
And apparently, Taehyung’s isn’t. 
It sort of makes you wonder why it was even Taehyung you ended up marrying anyway. His family isn’t any richer or more powerful than yours. Your spheres have always been sufficiently separate. What was it about him, and perhaps more importantly, his family that drew your parent’s eye? And what was it about marrying you that prevented him from saying no? Money? Prestige? Influence?
You suppose you’ll never know. But whatever mystical force that convinced Taehyung to agree to this must not be as important to him as your reasoning is to you, because it’s become exceedingly apparent that Taehyung does not care that he’s married. He doesn’t care about the ring on his finger, he doesn’t care about his public image, and he most certainly doesn’t care about you.
Perhaps you were naive for thinking this, but you actually believed marriage might tone him down a little. Might age him into a real adult with real world obligations. Instead, it’s only given you a firsthand look into who Kim Taehyung has been and always will be: a selfish rich kid.
You don’t bother waiting around in the living room until he gets back, but you are still awake by the time you hear the door creak open. Taehyung makes no efforts to hide his return. You can hear him chattering loudly on the phone as he stumbles up the stairs, can tell from his gait alone that he is most certainly wasted. You don’t want to know what he did tonight. You’ll probably be able to figure it out anyway when you wake up tomorrow morning and check your social media. 
What were you thinking, marrying him? That he would change? That he would suddenly become someone that you could rely on? You had no choice when you said, “I do,” but you were at least hoping that maybe one day, one day in a long, long time, the two of you would finally see eye to eye. Maybe there would even come a time when you would genuinely love him. How foolish. 
You close your eyes and try to imagine a world where you have married someone you love, someone who loves you back.
Not unlike the many nights preceding it, tonight is sleepless. 
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Unlike your marital status and general disposition, one thing that hasn’t changed about you is your love for extravagant events. Call you conceited, but there is something so much fun about putting on a fancy, expensive dress that you love and getting your hair and makeup done before going to an exclusive gala and posing in front of five hundred cameras. 
Actually, now that you think about it, maybe your wedding could have actually been pretty good, considering it let you do all those things. It’s a real shame there happened to be a storm cloud in the form of Kim Taehyung there to ruin it. Otherwise, you think you would have rather enjoyed that day. 
Tonight is the first event since your marriage where you and Taehyung are both required to show up and act like a happy married couple. Which would probably be a lot easier if you and Taehyung had exchanged more than ten words over the past two weeks. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but there was a part of you that thought you could use your arranged marriage to actually cultivate some sort of meaningful relationship between the two of you. So events like these wouldn’t be such a drain on both of you. 
When Kim Taehyung comes down the stairs, he actually doesn’t look too bad. You don’t know why this sort of thing keeps catching you off guard—like you don’t expect him to look that good whenever you see him. The problem is that you can’t even chalk up the surprise to him wearing tailored clothes or having his hair done. He just looks… good. 
Well, you suppose you do have to look at him every day for the rest of your life. It’s a good thing he’s attractive. At least he’s not sore on the eyes. 
Taehyung and his unfortunate attractiveness aside, the two of you don’t say a word to each other as you join up at the entrance, grabbing any last-minute items like house keys, chapstick, and whatever dignity you have left to spare. You send forced smiles and tight nods each other’s way in the elevator, staring straight ahead in the lobby of your building as the car pulls up to the front door.
By the time the two of you sit down in the back of the limousine, the built-up tension between the two of you is so thick you’re almost positive that even the chauffeur can feel it through the closed partition. 
If you were any more idyllic, you’d probably spend the drive over to the gala staring out the window and imagining yourself in a different life, on a train to nowhere, flowers in your hair and a journal in your hands. Or perhaps you’d be the CEO of your family’s company instead of having that responsibility passed down to a husband you don’t even want, sitting in an office at the top of a skyscraper overlooking the city. Anything. Anything but this.
But the idyllic part of you died when you realized that fantasies like that are nothing but distractions and that daydreams are for romantics and optimists and losers. 
“What’s our plan for tonight?”
Taehyung scoffs. “What do you mean, ‘what’s our plan’?”
You frown. “Well, we’re married, so we at least have to act like it, don’t you think?”
“Isn’t standing there and smiling enough?” Taehyung asks, an unimpressed eyebrow raised. 
You bristle. Maybe that sufficed for your wedding, but there was so much going on it was easy to distract yourself from the gravity of it all. But this event is not about you. It’s not even about either of your families. It’s about someone the two of you are, at best, distantly connected to, through work, through fame, through power. Which means that though the focus will not be on you, there will still be eyes looking your way. Eyes watching your every move. 
“Do you think it will be?” You challenge. Doesn’t Taehyung realize that things are different now?
Taehyung’s lips curl downwards. “What do you expect us to do, shower each other in kisses? We don’t even sleep on the same fucking floor.”
“Maybe I just expected you to act less like a stranger and more like a husband!”
Taehyung sighs. “Don’t.” The word is clipped, short. “Don’t tell me you actually want to be married.”
“I don’t.” It’s a response that you hardly have to think twice about. “But we are, and nothing can change that.” Unfortunately. But it’s a fact that you and Taehyung have both had to grapple with over the past few weeks, and it’s becoming increasingly obvious that you are more aware of it than he is. If Taehyung could have his way, he would ignore you for the rest of his life and keep partying with the rest of his bachelor friends until he keeled over and died. 
He huffs next to you, eyes staring straight ahead. You don’t think the two of you have met each other’s eyes in a week. Maybe more. They’re starting to feel as soulless as your marriage itself. “Whatever. What do you want me to do?”
“What do you think?” You cross your arms over your chest. “Just act like you don’t hate me. Can you do that?” The way Taehyung’s behaving right now, you expect that will be a challenge for the both of you.
“Only if you can. I’ll even hold your hand to prove that we love each other.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
The idea of holding Taehyung’s hand makes you want to implode. The mere thought sends shivers down your spine. But it’s better than nothing, and that’s good enough for you. At least you won’t have to kiss. 
The rest of the ride there is silent. You drive to this gorgeous mansion just outside the city, bathed in lights hidden amongst the bushes, illuminating both the architecture and the enormous fountain that sits in front of it. In a house this size, you imagine you could probably go your whole life without ever having to come across Taehyung. It actually makes you consider investing in a home that big. 
Taehyung helps you out of the back of the limousine, a cold hand clasping your own as you rest your palm against his. You can feel the way his fingers hesitate as yours make to intertwine with his as you walk towards the entrance, smiling at whatever camera flashes you encounter on your way. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think you were holding hands with a ghost. 
The moment you step inside and are ushered out of the door’s view, Taehyung’s grip relaxes on yours. For a moment, you think he’ll actually spend the rest of the night like this, a gentle hand wrapped around yours, but then he pulls it away entirely and shoves it back into his pocket. Oh. You frown quietly to yourself. So that’s how tonight’s going to go. 
You don’t make an effort to reach out towards him again. 
For an event concerning people you don’t know a damn thing about, everyone sure seems to know things about you. Other than greetings, you don’t think anyone’s said anything to you about anything other than your recent marriage to Taehyung. Every conversation is punctuated by a Congratulations! you do not feel that you have at all earned, considering you and Taehyung could barely look at each other on the way here.
Maybe Taehyung was right. All you really can do is stand there and smile.
“Oh, don’t tell me… Y/N, is that you?”
The champagne swirls around in the flute between your fingers as you turn towards the sound of your name, looking up to see a familiar face headed your way. 
Kim Seokjin is nice enough. He’s terribly handsome and got a flawless smile, but you know better than to trust those pearly whites of his. The sight of him alone is enough to make your body tense up. There was a reason you had explicitly told your parents not to invite him to your wedding. 
“Seokjin, what a surprise to see you here,” you say, forcing a smile. “I thought you were supposed to be in Switzerland right now.”
“Change of plans,��� Seokjin grins back in that awful, awful way, the kind of grin that makes you feel like he’s looking right through you. “I came back early. It’s a shame, though, I missed your wedding.”
You shrug. “It was a humble affair.” It wasn’t. And you’re positive that Seokjin knows it wasn’t an accident that you didn’t extend an invitation to him or his family. 
“Ah, I see,” Seokjin says, nodding his head. He turns to Taehyung next to you, who is making no effort to hide how wholly uninterested in this conversation he is, and holds out a hand. “You must be Kim Taehyung, then. I’m Kim Seokjin. Congratulations on your wedding.”
Taehyung shakes his hand firmly, the air between the three of you growing unbearably palpable. 
“Seokjin’s father is the VP of News Daily,” You explain, eyebrows raised as you try to signal to Taehyung what exactly it means when Seokjin is speaking to the two of you. “And his mother is a popular journalist for the city’s post.”
Seokjin grew up in the world of media, and it seems he’s picked up his parent’s affinity for sticking their noses in places they don’t belong. You know he’s not talking to the both of you out of the goodness of his heart. 
Seokjin laughs, his hand waving away the mention of his parents. “Oh, please. That’s them. I’m just a bored socialite like the rest of you.”
You resist the urge to scoff. 
“Marriage treating the two of you well?” He changes the subject to what he really wants to talk about: you. 
“Of course,” you say quickly, preventing any hesitation on your end. Your empty hand reaches towards Taehyung’s, fingers searching for his between the two of you. But his refusal to join hands does not go unnoticed by you nor Seokjin, who is eyeing the space between your bodies with an eyebrow raised. “It’s just been—well, it’s just been difficult to adjust to a new life. That’s all.”
If you were to describe the face of a non-believer, it would be the exact expression on Seokjin’s face. “Perfectly understandable,” he says, that same toothy smile lacing his features. “But it must be nice, you know, to marry someone you love.”
“I couldn’t be happier,” you say, almost challenging Seokjin to say something even more inflammatory. He must know that all you’re trying to do at this point is save face. Love? Ha! As if. 
“And Taehyung?” Seokjin motions to your husband. 
You can feel the way Taehyung is stiffening beside you. “I suppose we are both lucky and unlucky in many ways when it comes to who we love.”
It’s enough of an answer to get Seokjin off your tail. For now. He bids the two of you a tense goodbye before sauntering off to go poke his nose in someone else’s business, fish for drama, a thread of a rumor he can pick apart with nimble fingers. You wonder if anybody actually likes him. 
The moment he disappears from earshot, you grab Taehyung’s wrist tightly and pull him close to you. “What the hell was that?” You hiss into his ear. 
“What?” You can’t tell if he’s playing dumb or if he really is that dense. 
“You!” You exclaim. “Kim Seokjin is the one person who could easily expose how fake this marriage is and you pull away from me? Right in front of him? You can’t even hold my hand for two seconds, that’s how much you hate me?”
“Who cares what he thinks?” Taehyung says. “He’s just another media rat. No one will even remember we were here tomorrow.”
“But if you keep acting like this, people will start to notice! Why can’t you just act like you don’t hate me, for one night? Is that so bad? Is it that torturous, to spend one night with me?”
“Do not turn this on me,” Taehyung orders harshly. “You’re making a scene. Come on.”
You don’t have time to shout at him for bossing you around like you’re a toddler throwing a tantrum before he drags you out of the venue, the two of you finding a back door to the building that leads outside. The cold air blows against your body, goosebumps popping up against your skin, but you find that the chilly night provides quite the respite after practically overheating indoors. Taehyung makes fire rush through your veins but at least the air can cool you back down. 
Nevertheless, your conversation is not over. It’s just been moved to a more private location.
“You do realize that our marriage isn’t going to suddenly go away, right? That we’re going to have to keep doing this for the rest of our lives?” You remind him, eyebrows raised. There’s a part of you that genuinely thinks he’s completely forgotten that your marriage is permanent.
“Oh, and not holding hands for five minutes for this one event is totally going to change the course of our lives, isn’t it?” Taehyung fights back.
“Don’t act like you did the right thing,” you spit out. “You don’t have to pretend in front of me. I know you don’t give a shit about our marriage.”
“What marriage is there to even give a shit about? Just because we had a wedding and signed some documents does not mean there is a real marriage between us. Look at us,” he motions between the two of you like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “We hate each other. Is this what you would call marriage?”
“But at least I’m trying to get past that!” You exclaim. “You make it seem like being as miserable as possible is some sort of badge of honor. Do you actually want to spend the rest of your life hating the person you married? Or do you want to grow up and try and move on?”
Taehyung frowns. “What I want is for the person I married to stop acting like they’re doing me such a huge favor by pretending to care about us. Especially when all they really care about is their family’s goddamn reputation.”
“No,” you tell him sternly. You are doing him a favor. He just can’t admit that he actually needs help from you. “You are putting zero effort into this. What am I supposed to do?”
“Let it go!” Taehyung shouts. “Maybe one day we’ll actually start getting along, but right now it’s obvious that neither one of us can stand the other. I don’t need you to do favors for me. I can handle it myself.”
You look away, rolling your eyes. “Doesn’t look like it to me,” you mutter to yourself. 
Taehyung cracks. “Fine. You want me to pretend that I actually care about us? I will.” Thank God. Maybe now the two of you will finally start seeing eye-to-eye. “But make no mistake about how I feel about you,” he spits. “Getting married to you ruined my life.”
You stare straight at him and his eyes are swirling, so obscured in the darkness of the night that you might even think he doesn’t have a soul at all. His pupils bore into yours and for once, for once in your goddamn life, after so many years of staring each other down at debutante balls, so many years of witty refrains and snarky insults hurled each other’s way, it feels like the two of you might actually snap. 
Then, a camera flashes.
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Trouble in Paradise! would be a suitable title for the front page of the city’s biggest tabloid… if anything about your life with Taehyung could be considered paradise. Unfortunately for the both of you, that is not the case. 
You don’t need to keep reading the rest of the trashy article on the front page of the daily tabloid to know how much trouble you’re in, nor do you even have time to scroll beneath the terrible photo of you and Taehyung literally shouting at each other before you hear your phone ring. 
You don’t even bother saying hello to whoever’s on the other end. You know it’ll go in one ear and out the other. 
“I assume you know why I’m calling,” your mother’s harsh tone spits from the other end of the phone. There’s no doubt in your mind that she’s standing in the middle of her office, snapping her fingers at her fifteen secretaries as they partake in the worst damage control your family’s had to deal with since your cousin two years ago was caught with a mistress outside a high-profile restaurant. 
“Can I take a wild guess?” You’re about to be scolded into the next century, so you might as well enjoy your last few moments. 
“Don’t get cheeky with me,” your mother warns. “Care to explain why you and your beloved husband made the front page of the Daily Post today?”
“I know,” you sigh, a hand coming up to rub at your temples. It’s eight in the morning, you’ve barely looked at your phone, and you haven’t even brushed your teeth yet. It feels like you’re still asleep, and most certainly lack the energy to deal with this right now. 
Your mother, on the other hand, thinks otherwise. “You know? You know, and you still go out and do this? For everyone to see?”
“We tried to take our argument outside,” you begin to explain, but your mother isn’t having a single word of it. 
“The fact that you thought it was even appropriate to have an argument in a public setting at all astounds me, Y/N. We raised you better than that.” There’s no need for you to even see her face. You’ve grown so used to that disappointed frown over the years that it’s burned into your brain. 
“Maybe you should have thought about that before marrying me off to a man I barely know so I could be someone else’s problem instead of yours,” you bite. 
“We did this for your own good,” she hisses back. “You are married because we love you, and we want you to succeed outside of this family.”
“Then why do you care what the tabloids print about me?”
“Because being married does not mean you are no longer a part of this family,” your mother informs you sternly, lips smacking together. “Your marriage reflects on all of us, and you know that. What will people think of us when they see how terribly behaved you are?”
“Everyone acts like that, and you know it.” How could your mother preach good behavior when everyone, everyone you know, is just as spoiled and entitled as you? There’s no such thing as being altruistic when it comes to people like you. Being genuine, and good, and pure—that will get you ruined. 
You can hear her breathing into the phone when your mother responds, “But not in public, and that is the point. We expect better from you.”
“If you were so worried about me behaving so badly, then why did you even marry me off anyway? You knew that I didn’t want to. What did you think would happen?” It’s a question you wouldn’t have dared ask three months ago. Hell, even a year ago, when it was first revealed you were to be engaged, you wouldn’t have dared open your lips. But things are different now. You’re married to a man that hates you just as much as you hate him. He is making no effort to improve your relationship and seems hellbent on despising you forever. There is no way to get out of it. And if your parents really foresaw all of that, then what was the point in the first place?
“Your grandmother.”
Your mouth shuts. 
“You know she wanted to see you married before she passed,” your mother says, words clipped and biting and harsh. “She cares about you. She wanted to make sure you’d be taken care of.”
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” you mutter to yourself like a petulant child. In a way, you sort of are.
“If you want to stay in her will, I suggest you change that mindset.”
You freeze in your tracks. The will?
“Is that a threat?” You ask, positively dumbfounded. Are you being coerced into staying in this marriage because of your grandmother’s will?
You can hear your mother laugh, that muted, knowing chuckle of hers. “It was the deal all along, remember?”
Vaguely, you do. You remember fighting your parents tooth and nail over getting married until your grandmother revealed it was her dream to see you wed. You remember the look on her old, wrinkled face, that soft, sad smile that said she knew she didn’t have much time left. You remember agreeing, because how could you deny her? You remember her promising to remember what you’re doing for her. 
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
“But—”
“That’s the end of this conversation, Y/N. You fix things with your husband or you’re out of her will. She’s made that clear. I expect you’ll make the right choice.”
She hangs up. 
Well. 
There are a lot of ways to describe how you’re currently feeling, and you most certainly had an expensive education that would provide you with plenty of the vocabulary, but you think the most appropriate words for the current situation would be: you’re fucked. 
At least the feeling is mutual. 
Hardly two minutes after your mother’s brutal phone call, Taehyung comes storming down the stairs, hair still mussed from the night prior, his own phone clenched tightly between is fingers. Even from where you stand in the middle of the living room, you can see the way his eyes are glinting with anger, the veins popping out from his skin. 
“I just got off the phone with my parents,” Taehyung begins, not even bothering to spare a ‘good morning’ your way, “and they are fucking furious about last night.”
You shrug. “Join the club,” you mutter, arms crossed in front of you. What, does Taehyung really think you got off scot-free?
“Don’t act like this means nothing to you,” Taehyung says as he approaches you, footsteps calm despite his demeanor being anything but. “You’re the one who’s so obsessed with keeping up their family’s perfect reputation. You’re the reason we’re even in this mess in the first place.”
“What do you mean, ‘I’m the reason’?” You ask, astounded. Like he’s totally absolved of all blame and just an innocent third party. “You are the reason we went outside. You are the reason we had that argument, because you refuse to accept the fact that we’re actually married and there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“Right, because holding hands is really gonna show all those people how in love we are. I bet your parents are so thrilled right now.” Taehyung drawls. 
“It’s a start!” You shriek. “God, you’re just so—so infuriating! You can’t accept that this was your fault, too. You just have to turn everything against me and you always, always have to get the last word. It’s like you think you’ll die if you don’t.”
“Like you’re any better,” Taehyung huffs back. “You think I’m the villain because I don’t want to pretend to be in love with someone I’m not in love with. You act like us not holding hands is going to ruin our lives. It was one event! One! It’s obvious we hate each other, so why even try?”
“What, do you expect me to just sit around and do nothing? To act like everything’s fine? Like I’m happy?” As if. This marriage is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. “While you prance around the city with your rich boy friends, going out to clubs and parties and pretending that I don’t exist? Is that what you expect from me?”
Taehyung laughs, this loud, disbelieving sort of noise, like he’s never heard such nonsense before. “Just because we’re married doesn’t mean the rest of my life has to change. Am I not allowed to enjoy myself with my friends? Or are you determined to keep me chained to your side for the rest of our lives?”
“What I want,” you punctuate every word, “is for you to stop acting like you haven’t got stakes in this, too. You think I don’t know how your family works? What being married to me means for you? Because I do. And I know that if we were to divorce, it would be you who would get the short end of the stick. Make no mistake.”
That’s enough to shut Taehyung up for a good few seconds. And it shuts him up, because he knows it’s true. Taehyung’s family may have a little more money, a little more power than yours, but you’ve got a family intimately more connected with the media. One phone call and Taehyung may have a rather messy, rather public breakup to deal with. 
“You wouldn’t,” he says, calling your bluff. 
“Are you sure about that?” You say, sticking your ground. You would never really divorce him, of course, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“I am,” Taehyung says firmly. “Don’t think I don’t know what being married to me is in it for you. What is it? Money? Power? Your father’s CEO position?”
“That’s none of your business,” you snap quickly. Maybe you’re more transparent than you thought. Bristling, you straighten your shoulders and turn back to meet his eyes. “Regardless, it seems we both have a reason to stay in this marriage.”
“It seems we do,” Taehyung agrees with a thin, contained smile. “Then I suppose we can reach some sort of agreement.”
“As in…?” Your interest in piqued. 
“I’ll stop going out with my friends if you stop picking fights with me all the time,” he says economically, like he’s killing two birds with one stone. 
“Only if you agree to also act more like my husband when we’re in public,” you tack on, because you just can’t settle for anything less. 
“Public only,” Taehyung specifies. 
You scoff. “Like I’d even want to pretend to be your wife when we’re in private.”
“Good. It seems we’ve come to a deal.”
“What’s in this for you, huh?” You prod, just to be annoying. Taehyung’s right. There’s a reason you’re not divorcing him the second you get the chance. But there must be a reason why he’s not doing the same thing. 
“Does it matter?” He challenges, a single eyebrow raised. “My life is just as awful as yours.”
Fair enough. 
“Do we have a deal?” Taehyung asks, holding out his hand, that sneaky, devilish grin lacing his features. 
Taking his hand in yours and grasping it firmly is the easiest decision in the world. His palm presses against your own, hot hand meeting your cold skin, and it feels like the two of you are finally finding some sort of balance. You look up into his eyes, burn your gaze into his pupils, watch them glint in the white ceiling light of the living room. 
“Deal.”
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For two people raised on the values of reading the fine print and making educated choices when it comes to business deals, you and Taehyung sure haven’t worked out any of the intricacies of the deal the two of you agreed to. Unlike those business deals your parents constantly agreed to, however, knowing all of the stipulations and provisions of your strange, strange agreement with Taehyung may prove more harmful than helpful. 
Like right now. 
“Wait, we don’t have to be by each other’s side the whole night, do we?” Taehyung asks you, eyebrows furrowed in a knot, as you sit in the back of a big, black van on your way to a mutual friend’s twenty-first birthday bash. 
“There are going to be a lot of cameras there,” you respond. 
“Yeah, outside the entrance to the damn club. You know they won’t be allowed in, so who cares?” Taehyung rebukes. 
You huff out a little sigh, not wanting to get into an argument when you’re literally minutes away from your first public appearance since the whole tabloid debacle from three weeks ago. You and Taehyung could both do with being a bit more relaxed than you normally are when you’re around each other. 
“Hasn’t Clarissa invited hundreds of people? They’ll all notice if we aren’t together,” you remind pointedly. The girl whose birthday party you are attending is an heiress who grew up on the money of two people with a monopoly over the current artificial intelligence market and has millions of followers on social media. There will be notable people there. And people will know the two of you, as well. 
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “That’s the point, Y/N. There’ll be so many people, no one will even care. It’s her twenty-first birthday. Do you think people are going to be sober?”
You purse your lips together. He’s got a point. “How about when we are together, we hold hands. But if you see a friend or something then feel free to say hi.” Taehyung can be afforded that luxury. Especially because the chances of him not bumping into someone he knows is exceedingly low anyway. 
Taehyung nods in agreement. “You too. But I won’t leave you unless I know you’re with someone you’re close with.”
“You don’t have to stay, I’ll be fine,” you say with a small chuckle. What, is Taehyung suddenly worried, or something?
“Yeah, but it would be in bad taste if I left you with someone you didn’t know well. Or alone. Just wanna make sure you’re taken care of.” He shrugs nonchalantly, turning back to look out of the window on his side of the car. 
“Okay.” 
You don’t really have anything else to say to that. You’re sure you can handle yourself if you’re left alone for a few minutes while Taehyung says hi, but you actually find yourself rather appreciative of his resolve to look after you. Or, at least, make sure someone else is looking after you. It’s quite… chivalrous. Strikingly out of character for the Taehyung you’ve become well-acquainted with over the past couple of months. 
By the time you arrive, it’s obvious that Taehyung was right about there being so many people you two practically don’t even exist. Other than the herds of camera crews waiting outside the joint, photographing everyone that steps out of a black car to see what they’re wearing and who they’ve come with, no one seems to be paying you any attention. And in a way, that sort of nonexistence, that anonymity, it’s refreshing. Your entire life you’ve felt like all eyes were on you, like there was constantly a spotlight above your head, but here, the party centers around someone else. 
Despite that fact, Taehyung keeps his promise. He keeps himself pressed closely against you when there’s not enough space for you two to stand side by side, and he makes sure to have a hand gently intertwined with your own as you weave your way through the dozens of bodies in the room. He doesn’t say anything, of course, always looking up and forward instead of beside him, where you stand, but you find that you’re actually quite relaxed with his presence. He spots a bit of a clearing near the back of the first floor of the club, where a whole bunch of leather couches are pressed up against the brick walls, where the two of you can take a breather. 
“Damn, Clarissa knows a lot of people,” you say when you finally settle down, happily plucking a martini from a tray held by one of the many caterers wandering through the venue. 
“I doubt she’s even spoken to half of them,” Taehyung comments. “She and I have maybe spoken once… three years ago.”
“It was enough to get you invited, wasn’t it?” You point out with an eyebrow raised. 
Taehyung nods, chuckling a little. “Touché,” he says, clinking his own cocktail glass against yours. 
You take a swig of the drink, letting it wash down your throat. You’re not exactly sure how else you’re supposed to survive the night. “You must enjoy this, huh?” You muse, looking up at Taehyung from where you’re seated on the couch. He’s standing next to you, looking around the room with a distant gaze in his eye. 
“Enjoy what? The drink? It’s nice,” Taehyung says, having another sip. 
“No, I mean this,” you say, motioning toward the crowd. “The clubbing, the dancing, the drinking. I’ll bet that if you could do this every day for the rest of your life, you would.”
“I’m honored that you think so highly of me,” he deadpans. 
“Just making an observation,” you say, holding your hand up in surrender. “I mean, isn’t this what you used to do every weekend before we got married? Get wasted and party? Wake up in someone else’s bed the next morning? Muscle your way through the week just so you could do it all over again?”
Taehyung shakes his head, a knowing grin on his face. “Looks like someone keeps up with her tabloids. Let me guess, you would scroll through all of those trashy articles on your phone whenever you woke up so you could see what your future husband was doing?”
“I could have never even met you and I would know that that’s exactly what you do,” you say, even though you definitely did do those things before your engagement was announced to the public. “You’re a heartbreaker, Kim Taehyung. I don’t need to read a tabloid to know that.”
“Well, you must be quite the lucky girl, then,” Taehyung comments. “You seem to be taking up so much of my energy that I don’t have the time for that anymore.”
You place a sarcastic hand on your heart. “I didn’t know you were always thinking about me. I’m touched.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Taehyung huffs out, making the two of you both shake your heads as you chuckle to yourselves. First civil conversation you’ve had with each other in a long while, even if there may have been a few blows exchanged. 
The privacy doesn’t last long. Soon after, a huge crowd of people that could honestly still pass for teenagers herds towards the back of the club, all of them wanting to take pictures with each other. You and Taehyung do your best to stay out of the way, but one of the girls recognizes him from the Elle photoshoot he did about a year ago and begins to strike up a conversation with the both of you about your recent marriage. If she was paying attention to anything the tabloids leaked three weeks ago, she doesn’t mention it. Taehyung smiles and happily answers all of her questions, and even offers to take a picture of the group for them. The conversation ends before the two of you even catch her name. 
You’re standing by the line of buffet tables laid out against the staircase leading up to the second floor, no doubt as crowded as this one, when the opportunity for you to speak to someone other than Taehyung finally presents itself. 
“Y/N!”
You’d recognize that voice anywhere. You turn around to see Victoria barreling towards the both of you, not even caring when she accidentally spills a bit of her piña colada on the floor as she does. 
“Hey!” You exclaim excitedly. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“Are you kidding? I’m pretty sure Clarissa invited everyone on her, her best friend’s, her best friend’s cousin, and her best friend’s cousin’s dog’s contact list,” Victoria says with a laugh. “It’s nice to see you. I feel like you’ve been holed up in that big ol’ penthouse for weeks.”
“Damage control,” you remind her succinctly. Victoria knows enough that that’s all the explanation she really needs. 
“I don’t know if the two of you have ever met formally,” you say, thinking back to your wedding, where Victoria spent most of her time schmoozing with your parents (who love her) and didn’t even engage with any of the people who Taehyung’s family had invited. “Taehyung, this is Victoria. Victoria, Taehyung.”
“Pleasure,” Victoria says in that loud, unabashedly forward way of hers, holding out a friendly hand. Taehyung smiles back curtly, taking her hand and shaking it gently, so as not to spill any more of her drink. 
“Mine as well. I remember you were at our wedding.” Oh? So he does know her?
“That I was. Oh, I miss that day. The food was excellent. Tonight’s isn’t too bad either. Hope you’re doing well, the two of you. It’s nice to see you getting along,” she says, always the observer. 
Taehyung’s eyes widen a little when he picks up what Victoria is not-so-subtly putting down, but you place a hand on his upper arm to calm him. “It’s okay,” you tell him. “She won’t say anything.”
“My lips are sealed,” Victoria adds. 
“If you wanna go spend time with some of your friends, you can,” you say, giving Taehyung a nudge. He looks positively helpless standing in between the two of you as Victoria out-extroverts him. 
“Alright,” he says hesitantly, even though you know he’s already spotted at least ten people you’re sure he’d want to spend time with over you. “I’ll come find you soon, okay? Don’t go too far.”
You nod, and Taehyung disappears off into the crowd. Not two seconds later, you hear someone else call his name in a familiar tone. 
“I thought you said you hated him,” Victoria points out as the two of you watch his caramel brown hair makes its way throughout the crowd. 
You take another sip of your drink. “I do,” you say. 
Victoria looks at you like you’ve just told her you’ve sworn off custard-filled doughnuts. 
“What?” You ask, feeling suddenly defensive. 
“Nothing,” Victoria singsongs. “It just doesn’t look like that to me.”
“We just need to keep up a good appearance in public, that’s all. You know how mad my parents got when the tabloids leaked all that shit a few weeks ago,” you explain. You’re not sure what all the fuss is about. Taehyung said he would do these things. And he did. That was him upholding his end of the deal. This is you upholding yours. 
“If you say so…” Victoria says, not looking at all convinced. “I guess I’m just surprised that—that you two seem to be getting along so well. Maybe you being married isn’t going to be the worst thing after all.”
You stare back out into the crowd, scanning the top of people’s heads for Taehyung’s familiar locks. In the dim light of the club, you have a difficult time finding his, squinting your eyes slightly as you look around, but eventually you spot him, dancing happily with some old friends of his you recognize. He looks like he’s having a good time. And that makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, this might end up alright. 
“Yeah,” you say, though with the pounding of the bass and the alcohol already rushing through your veins, it doesn’t really feel like your voice belongs to you. You look back at Taehyung, knowing exactly where he is now, and you smile. Just a little. “I guess he’s not so bad.”
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You never do get a chance to meet Taehyung’s friends that night. By the time he joins back up with you and Victoria he’s by himself, a little more drunk than when he left, and ready to go home. And for once, instead of fighting him, instead of insisting you stay an hour more just to make sure you’ve done all of your rounds, you let him take you home. 
Taehyung has been spending a lot more time at the penthouse lately. Perhaps his family’s business happenings are slow, or perhaps he’s actually starting to get more comfortable with inhabiting the same space as you, but he has definitely found himself quite the rhythm in that house of yours. He even comes down to the first floor rather regularly. 
When he’s home, Taehyung is a lot quieter than you thought he would be. Granted, you don’t exactly know what you were expecting in the first place, but it certainly wasn’t him ruminating in one of the home offices while the Beatles play softly on the stereo, nor was it him reading a book in French in one of those big old grandfather chairs in the living room. If you didn’t know any better, you’d probably think he was still absent in that old way of his, ghostlike and silent, like he was occupying the space instead of truly living in it. 
But you do know better, and even though Taehyung is just as noiseless as he used to be, the house already feels a little bit fuller. 
Perhaps the reason you’ve become so keenly aware of his presence over the past few days is because of the notable fact that Taehyung has indeed held up his end of the deal, and no longer goes out with his friends in the evening. Or at all, for that matter. Which strikes you as rather odd, because he’s the epitome of a social butterfly, a thousand contacts in his phone and a whole group of friends he regularly spends time with. Maybe his parents told him to tone down the public appearances, too. And that’s understandable, but don’t they know Taehyung? Can’t they see how much he thrives on social interaction? It almost makes you feel… bad for him. 
To remedy this, you suggest he invite over his friends. Just for a few hours, you swear you won’t mind. 
“Seriously?” Taehyung looks positively shocked when you tell him he can, standing in the doorway of the office he seems to have designated as his own. 
“Yeah, why not?” You say with a carefree shrug. Besides, you’ve never met his friends anyway, and now seems as good a chance as any to introduce yourself. You are his wife, after all. “Unless your parents say you can’t. But it’s not a problem for me.”
“You… don’t mind if I have my friends over for a bit? Honest to God, we’re probably just going to play FIFA for three hours straight,” Taehyung says like it’s some sort of warning. Like the idea of him and his buddies from college are going to sit in the living room screaming at the television, leaving you alone to do literally anything else, is somehow bad. 
You laugh. “It’s fine, really. Call them. I’d actually quite like to meet them.”
Taehyung picks up his phone almost instantly, as if you’ll change your mind in the next five minutes so he better get them over soon, and already you can see the way his face is lighting up, the way his eyes crinkle as he chats to his friends and the way his lips curl upwards when they crack a joke back. Isn’t it obvious? He feeds off of the energy of others. Who are you to deny him such a simple pleasure?
As it turns out, Taehyung’s friends actually end up being quite nice anyway. 
He invites over three, because four people is apparently the perfect number for a hardcore game of FIFA on his Playstation, and they are all very handsome men you have never met before. You suppose like attracts like, after all. 
“You must be Y/N,” says the first one you see when you open the door to let them in. He doesn’t look a day over twenty-one—in fact, he could probably still pass as a college student—and has rather long dark hair that drapes over the sides of his face, covering the edges of his big doe eyes. “I’m Jungkook. This is Jimin and Hoseok.”
“Nice to meet you all,” you say, stepping aside so they can enter.
The shortest one, Jimin, grins in response, and Hoseok, behind him, gives you a wave. It’s refreshing enough as is, not having to exchange formal greetings and shake each other’s hands like you do with everyone else. Hoseok even gives you a bit of a nod, too.“You, too,” he says. “We’ve heard so much about you.”
Oh, have they, now? Interesting. 
“All good things, I hope,” you say awkwardly, forcing a small smile as Taehyung comes bounding into the room, ears perked up at the sound of his friends’ voices. 
“Definitely. Thanks for having us over. We didn’t wanna intrude on the sanctity of your new place,” Jungkook says, gesturing vaguely to the house as a whole. He’s got this excellent, genuine grin on his face, the kind that people who are just happy to be alive always wear. 
Already he’s said enough to charm the shit out of you. Who knew Taehyung’s friends could be so… friendly? “Please, you’re welcome any time. I was just thinking Taehyung was getting a little lonely.”
“There he is!” Jimin shouts excitedly when he spots Taehyung behind the two of you, looking a lot more casual than he normally does when he’s alone with you, having abandoned his usual silky button-down and wide-leg slacks for a loose shirt and some sweatpants. You didn’t even know he had those things in his closet. 
“Hey, everyone’s here!” Taehyung exclaims, just as happy. He squeezes past you to give the three of them a big hug, and it almost makes you feel like you’re intruding on something you shouldn’t be in. Even though this is literally your house. 
“Nice place you got here,” Hoseok comments, eyes drifting around the living room. “Very minimalist, I like it.”
“Sure hope you don’t spill anything on those nice leather couches of yours,” Jungkook says. 
“Yeah, unlike Kook, who has spilled tomato soup on every shirt he’s ever owned,” Jimin jokes, earning laughs from Taehyung and Hoseok and a punch from Jungkook. 
“Moved after we married,” Taehyung says simply, shrugging his shoulders. It’s an easy enough explanation for why it doesn’t look at all lived in. Here’s hoping none of them realize you sleep in different bedrooms. 
“Yeah, congratulations on that, man,” Hoseok says, giving Taehyung a celebratory nudge in the shoulder. “Who’d have thought, out of the four of us, Kim Taehyung would be the first one to settle down.”
The way Taehyung’s body tenses up at that comment does not go unnoticed by you. 
“Seriously, I would have never guessed,” Jimin adds on. “You’re showing us a new side of yourself, Tae. But I’m happy for you.”
Normally, you’d probably take offense at such blatant insinuations that your husband was a former playboy, especially from his equally noncommittal friends. But truthfully, it’s not like you were blind to Taehyung’s transgressions either. And what matters most is the fact that since it was announced publicly, you are the only woman he’s been seen with since your engagement. 
“Me too. You seem to really like her. I’m glad,” Jungkook pipes up, sending a smile your way. You definitely feel like you don’t belong in this conversation. “I think the two of you will be good for each other.”
“Yeah, I hope so,” Taehyung says with a nervous chuckle. His eyes quickly shoot your way, the two of you meeting gazes, your hesitant expressions matching. At least the two of you are on the same page. “Alright, alright, enough,” Jungkook says. “Who’s ready to get their ass kicked in FIFA?”
“You’re on, Jeon. But when I win, you owe me a five-star dinner,” Hoseok challenges. 
“Deal.”
Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook immediately crowd towards the couch, and you take that as your cue to leave. But before you can disappear down the hallway, you and Taehyung look awkwardly at each other, hands tied. It’s not like you can say anything to them. 
The truth is that, sometimes, it’s easy to forget that not everyone else knows that your marriage is just for business. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that there are still people out there that believe you marry for love. 
Isn’t it crazy to think that you used to be one of those people, too?
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“Hey,” Taehyung says when you meet up at the bottom of the stairs again. 
“Hey,” you respond. 
“You look nice.”
You scoff a little to yourself. What, are you exchanging compliments now? “Thanks,” you say, looking him up and down. “You’re not so bad yourself.” Like he ever is. 
“I knew you had taste,” Taehyung teases, and it’s the sort of comment that would have earned him a melon ball to the face back when the two of you were teenagers at a debutante ball, but today only earns him a roll of your eyes as you join hands. You don’t have anything big tonight—just a small dinner to celebrate some sort of business accomplishment for your family, which means that all you have to manage is not ending up in some sort of food fight by the end of the night. 
“I didn’t have a choice, did I?” You retort easily as you get into the car. 
You don’t normally speak a lot on the way to events. Not that you ever did, but even as your relationship has slowly faded from pure hatred to attempts at compromise, you both seem to relish in being able to stare out of your respective backseat windows and into the city that surrounds you. Just out of curiosity, about halfway through the ride you look towards Taehyung to see what he’s up to, and find yourself genuinely surprised to see him leaning against the window with his eyes closed. Is he sleeping? A couple more minutes of gazing at him tells you he is, because his body has gone lax and his breathing has evened out, soft snores leaving his mouth. This ride can’t be longer than twenty minutes. Has he not been sleeping well? Up in that enormous second-floor bedroom of his?
He’s awake by the time the car parks outside the restaurant, this fancy name brand steak place that was chosen solely because the biggest beneficiaries of your family’s new business deal are two sixty-year-old men whose entire diet consists of beef and beer. No cameras tonight, just a small family affair. You and Taehyung hold hands as you enter the restaurant and are led to the private room in the back anyway. 
You and him are seated on the far end of the long, rectangular table, alongside all of the other adult children dragged along to celebrate something that has no effect on their lives. But it’s nice, because the space alone prevents your parents from actively speaking with you, and you and Taehyung can stay in your own little bubble, only chiming in for a toast when necessary. 
“What are you going to get?” He asks you, the two of you gazing at the menu. No matter how fancy this place is, all the options seem to boil down to steak, steak, steak, steak, and caesar salad. Classic. 
“Oh, so you actually care now?” You counter, an eyebrow raised in amusement. 
Taehyung laughs. “Aren’t I supposed to?”
You narrow your eyes at him suspiciously, wise to his usual shenanigans. It’s hard to tell if Taehyung really means what he says, or if it’s all for show. But perhaps he’s asking because he’s genuinely curious, since no one else seems to be paying you any attention. 
“The choices on this menu are simply overwhelming,” you say, motioning to the six options in front of you. 
“I know, I’m so torn,” Taehyung jokes, making you huff out a little giggle. At least he’s still got that same sense of humor. 
You both end up going for a pretty classic steak dinner, which neither of the two of you finish because the damn portions are the size of your head. Dinner is, in and of itself, absolutely mindless, all of your parents talking about things that don’t concern you whatsoever, leaving you and Taehyung to your own devices as you desperately try to make the night go by faster. 
At one point, you notice Taehyung’s foot brushing up against yours, the leather of his loafers brushing against the toe of your patent heel. Thinking someone of it, you push back, foot nudging his back to his own chair. It’s not a second later that Taehyung retaliates, the two of you dancing around each other underneath the table. 
If the two of you were any younger, or perhaps any less resigned to your fate, there’s no doubt in your mind you would be attempting to get Taehyung to fall off his chair in an effort to do the same to you. Footsie means war. But when the both of you know that, at the end of the day, you’ll still be going home to the same place, and waking up the next morning in the same house, it doesn’t feel like this is a battle.
It’s just life. 
Eventually, you meet Taehyung’s eyes with a hesitant smile, shoe pressed against his, stuck in ceasefire. And for once, he doesn’t have that devilish look in his eye, that smug little grin on his face that tells you that he’s going to make you regret whatever it is you just did. He’s just smiling back at you, all pink lips, having found real fun in the little things. 
And that makes you happy. 
The rest of the dinner is uneventful, which, in your book, is about as good as a dinner can go. You cheers to the future of your parents’ relationship with their newfound partners and say a quick goodbye to them both, hurrying out of there before they can ask you any questions on your relationship with your husband. But you don’t spend the car ride in silence on the way back. 
Instead, you say, “Have you been sleeping well?”
The question seems to catch Taehyung off guard. He was already getting in position to take a power nap on the ride home, head pressed up against the window of the car. 
“What?”
“Have you been sleeping well?” You repeat. “I noticed you fell asleep on the way here.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess,” he says, a hand scratching the nape of his neck. “I mean, it’s been hard adjusting, I suppose. But I’ll get over it.”
Hard adjusting? You’ve been together for nearly three months now. Three months worth of sleeping in the same penthouse bedroom, on the same soft-as-a-cloud mattress, underneath the same weighted blanket. And he’s still having trouble? 
“Oh. I mean, I just wanted to ask because you seem really tired lately.”
“I got a lot on my plate, what can I say,” Taehyung says with an empty smile, forcing a chuckle. “I’ll be fine, seriously. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Isn’t that my job?” You remind him. “I am your wife.”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything to that. He just lets out an audible breath, the kind you let out when you’re amused and have something snarky to say, but don’t have the energy to get the words off your tongue. 
The rest of the ride is pretty quiet. 
When you get home, you place your house keys in the bowl by the entrance and take off your shoes, just about ready to take a hot shower and collapse in bed, when Taehyung’s voice stops you. 
“Hey,” he begins, almost hesitantly. You look back at him inquisitively. “I was thinking, maybe, if you wanted, we could start sleeping in the same bed?”
You scrunch your nose up. Not in disgust, but in surprise. In bewilderment. What brought this on, all of a sudden?
“Really?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. “I thought we liked the separate bed thing. Gives us privacy.”
“Yeah,” Taehyung says with a shrug, “but—I don’t know, it’s stupid. I just thought, you know, since we’re married and all. And it’s been three months.” He looks about two seconds away from backtracking, from shaking his head and going upstairs before you can say anything else. 
“Alright,” you say quickly, nodding your assent. Taehyung’s eyes widen when he hears the word, like he had completely expected you to shut him down the moment he made the suggestion. “If that’s what you want. We can try it.”
“You sure?” He asks, that same hesitant smile from earlier lacing his features. It’s strange. He almost looks… sweet. Nervous. 
You grin back at him. “Yeah, I am.”
Taehyung lets you grab some of your toiletries and your pajamas from your designated bedroom before you head up the stairs together, towards the bedroom he’s claimed for himself. Funnily enough, this is the first time you’ve been in his room. Three months of living together and you haven’t dared step foot on the second floor. 
You don’t know what you were expecting when he opens the door to let you inside. Maybe a room that screamed ‘Taehyung’ a little more than this one does. One that looks like an actual human has been living here. But other than one of his classic silk button-downs draped over a chair, there’s not a shred of evidence someone has actually been sleeping here. You could honestly be fooled rather easily that the shirt, too, is just decoration. 
“You can pick a side,” Taehyung says casually. He grabs his own sleepwear—an old t-shirt and some sweats—and heads into the bathroom to change. 
You wonder why Taehyung has had such a difficult time adjusting. This room is about as lavish as a bedroom can get. And yet. 
Sitting down on the left side of the bed, you begin to remove your own clothes, unzipping tonight’s dress and stepping quickly into your pajamas, hurrying to make sure Taehyung doesn’t catch you half-naked. How funny is that, you think to yourself. You’ve been married for three months and you still can’t bear the thought of Taehyung seeing you without a shirt on. 
When Taehyung comes out of the bathroom, hair all messy and clothes all casual, he grins lazily to himself. “I sleep on the right anyway,” he comments mindlessly. 
Within twenty minutes the both of you are about as ready to pass out as you have ever been, the only lights still on the ones on your respective nightstands. 
“Goodnight,” Taehyung says, reaching an arm over to switch his off. 
“Goodnight,” you tell him, turning off yours as well. And all of a sudden, the room is shrouded in darkness. 
You fall asleep instantly. 
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When Taehyung wakes up the next morning, the first thing he says to you is that he hasn’t slept that well in ages. 
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“You slept together?” Victoria shrieks, so loud you actually have to move your phone away from your ear as you punch in the code inside the elevator for access to your floor. 
“We did not sleep together,” you emphasize. “Okay, well, we sleep together, as in, in the same bed. But we are fully clothed. And not the slightest bit interested in doing anything other than sleeping.”
“I thought you said you liked having your own space,” Victoria points out. “When was the first time you—uh…” she pauses to find the right words, “shared a bed?”
“A couple weeks ago. It’s really not so bad, I don’t know why you’re so hung up over it,” you say, lips pursed. You squeeze the phone between the side of your head and your shoulder, hands full of shopping bags, the string of the handles burning your skin. Maybe you should look into getting a personal shopper. 
“I’m hung up over it because, for the longest time, you have sworn off Kim Taehyung. Called him dead to you. Insulted him every chance you get.” 
You scoff. You don’t need reminding of how much you hated him, how much you can’t believe you have to spend the rest of your life with him. “It’s different now. We’re married. And he said he wasn’t sleeping well. I felt bad.”
“He wasn’t?”
“Enough about him,” you say, shutting her up. You don’t feel like talking about him with Victoria anymore. “Word through the grapevine says that your parents are actually thinking of letting you start your own company?”
It’s enough to distract Victoria. For the rest of the ride in the elevator, she talks animatedly about a new streaming service her parents are considering letting her launch, under their parent business, of course, but it’s her own company nonetheless. And you’re proud of her. Proud she could do something your parents would never dream of letting you do. Proud she could make that happen. 
You push open the front door with the side of your hip after entering in the security code, phone still snug between your ear and your shoulder, when you hear Taehyung call out your name. 
He comes into view from the kitchen, which surprises you because you have, on multiple occasions, made fun of how much of a disaster chef he is, especially because he’s admitted to you he’s not a very good cook. 
“I made brownies,” he says, holding out a plate of the chocolate treats in front of you. Instinct has you dropping your bags on the floor by your feet and reaching out, but you eye him first, suspicious. 
“I have to go,” you tell Victoria, hanging up before she even gets a chance to object to your sudden departure. “You made these?”
“Yes, I did,” Taehyung says, rather proud. 
“And the kitchen is… still standing?” You ask, skeptical. 
Taehyung frowns at you, clearly unimpressed. “How bad of a chef do you think I am?”
“Pretty bad,” you admit with a shrug. 
Taehyung pouts sadly to himself for a moment. “These are good, I swear. Nothing weird in them like vegetables or anything either. I used a box mix.”
“No wonder they look so nice,” you comment snidely, hesitant hand reaching out to grab one. They feel like brownies. So that’s good. 
“Hey, I was the one who had to crack the eggs and shit. Three eggs! And not one eggshell in the bowl!” Taehyung says, clearly very pleased with himself. 
You laugh at his enthusiasm, taking a bite. It’s good. And exactly what you needed after a long day of shopping. “I’m proud of you. They taste good.”
“I knew you wouldn’t doubt me.” Taehyung grins.
“They’re really good, actually,” You amend, genuinely surprised. And the best part is that you can count at least ten brownies left on that plate, which means that you get at least five more. Which, if you had any less self-restraint, you would probably eat all at once within the day. 
“I’m glad you like them. They’re all for us, you know. No one else to share them with,” he says.
“Honestly, I’m probably going to finish them by tonight. You’ll have to make more tomorrow,” you say sheepishly. 
“We can make some together,” Taehyung suggests. 
“I’m looking forward to it,” you respond. The words come off your mouth easily, tumbling from your lips without you having to think about it. You aren’t saying them because you have to. You’re saying them because you want to. Because baking with Taehyung doesn’t actually sound too bad. Especially if it means more brownies. 
“You’ve, uh, you’ve got something,” Taehyung says, gesturing vaguely to the side of his lip. 
“Oh, I do? Yikes,” you say, a little embarrassed. Your hand comes up to wipe at the left side of your mouth. “Is it gone?”
“Wait, here, let me do it,” Taehyung says, reaching out towards you. He presses his palm against the side of your face, cradling your cheek and jaw in his enormous hands, and all at once it feels like your skin is on fire. 
Your body freezes up at the touch, at the way his thumb swipes at the corner of your mouth, right against your lips, wiping away nothing but a goddamn brownie crumb. You look at him, look right at him, how can you look anywhere else when he’s right in front of you like this, and it feels like you are caught in his gaze, a rain droplet trapped on a web, a bee stuck in its own honey. His big, brown eyes sparkle from the ceiling lights, a chocolate sky that mirrors the food he just made for you. He looks at you and his eyes are so soft, so open, so happy to be looking right back at you. God. 
“There,” he says, a moment too late. 
“Thanks,” you stammer out, speechless otherwise. 
You both stand there, looking at each other, wordless expressions drawn all over your faces, no idea what to do next. 
After a while, Taehyung breaks the silence. “Do you wanna order takeout tonight?”
“Okay,” you nod, still a little breathless. Taehyung smiles before retreating back to the kitchen, leaving you standing in the entranceway, shopping bags abandoned by your side. 
You look over to where he’s vanished. There’s a part of you that wishes he hadn’t left. A part of you that makes you want to see him again. 
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Phone calls from your mother are never good. The last time she called… well, you know how that went. So when you see her contact information light up your home screen, it’s only instinct that you feel your heart rate spike. 
“Hello?” The voice that comes out doesn’t even sound like yours. 
There’s no good way to put what comes next. Your grandmother has died. Heart attack. The paramedics got there too late. It was over before it even started. 
For a moment, for a split second, it feels like everything is frozen. Like the world has come to standstill. Your mother’s voice echoes in your ears, suspended in time, the words turning into stone as they crash onto the floor. And when they do, it is as if everything comes back to life. 
Truth be told, you don’t know how long you stay there, sitting on the edge of the left side of the bed, your phone resting lifelessly in the palm of your hand. It feels at once like an eternity and only a second in time. You spoke to your grandmother two days ago. You had promised that you and Taehyung would visit her soon. How can this be happening?
Your phone buzzes relentlessly in your hands, condolences pouring in from every person in your contacts, sorry’s and heart emoticons and If you need anything, I’m always here’s filling up your screen. There’s a part of you that vaguely registers your mother, alongside some of the other members of your family, trying to call you. But nothing can seem to shake you. 
Until—
“Y/N? You still up here?”
You hear Taehyung before you see him. Hear his voice, hear his footsteps, hear the door creak open as he enters your bedroom. Slowly, almost sluggishly, you twist around to look at him, the mere act knocking the wind out of you. Or maybe you were already breathless. 
“Hey, you alright?” Taehyung knows instantly that something is wrong. 
“My grandmother died.” The words sit heavy on your tongue. There’s no point in not telling him. He’ll find out soon enough. He’s… he’s family, isn’t he?
“What?” Taehyung freezes in place. “I—I’m so sorry to hear that, Y/N. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you say, voice weak but steady. You blink up at him, once, twice, three times, and then suddenly you feel tears running down your cheeks. 
Taehyung doesn’t say anything else. He rushes to your side and sits himself down on the bed next to you, arms wrapping around your body. And you don’t think about the fact that it’s him, about the fact that this is the closest the two of you have ever been. You just let yourself be engulfed in his frame, let yourself be enveloped in his hold as the tears stream down your skin, little hiccups jolting your throat. You close your eyes and press yourself into his arms, head resting against his chest, and wish so desperately that so many things about your life were just a little bit different. 
It must be at least five minutes before either one of you dares to move. Your phone begins to rattle incessantly, that familiar and insistent buzz that the both of you are hard-pressed to ignore. 
“I think you should answer that,” Taehyung whispers into your skin, lips right by your forehead. 
“Yeah,” you sniffle, sitting up next to him and wiping the remnants of wetness by your eyes. Well, Taehyung’s seen you cry. There’s no going back now. “You’re probably right.” You look down at the phone. It’s your father. 
“I’ll be downstairs, okay? Unless you want me to stay,” he offers, looking hesitant. 
You shake your head. “No, it’s—it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”
“Call me if you need me,” he makes you give him a nod of understanding before he finally gets up, hands slowly removing themselves from your skin, leaving little sparks in their wake. Remnants of warmth. Suddenly, you feel much colder. Hardly a minute later he’s out of the room, and you can hear his distant footsteps as they make their way down the stairs. 
Sighing, blinking, and swallowing all at once, you pick up. 
The call passes by in a blur. Your father says the will will take at least half a year to be executed, but that the funeral is already being planned. Your grandmother had hoped you would eulogize her. You agree, but you have no idea what you will say. He says Taehyung is invited but does not need to come if he cannot make it. He says a lot of other things too, about your mother, about your cousins, about your aunts and uncles and your poor grandfather, who passed five years ago, but you can’t even remember them moments after he’s said them. 
When he hangs up, the tears on your cheeks have dried, patches of them left along your skin. You head to the bathroom, getting off your bed for the first time that day, and try to wash away everything that has stained the morning. A part of you doesn’t even want to bother, just wants to slug downstairs and eat as much sugary cereal as you can get your hands on, but you can’t go down there looking like this. Looking so helpless. 
By the time you reach the kitchen, Taehyung is already standing there, on the opposite side of the counter island, a big stack of pancakes in front of him. They look mouth-watering. 
“Hey,” he says softly. “Thought you might want something to cheer you up.”
“Did you make these?” You ask, a little endeared. That was thoughtful of him. 
“Yeah. They’re still warm,” Taehyung says. He holds out a fork. 
You grin. 
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The funeral is a week later. It sucks in every way that something can suck. But not in the same way your wedding sucked, or even the announcement of your engagement. It sucks because it’s a funeral, because you have to stare down your grandmother’s casket when a part of you still doesn’t even believe that she’s gone. Because everyone there is so sad, so melancholy, dressed in all black and looking down at their feet. Because everyone is so sorry for you, so sorry for your loss, everyone has nothing but condolences to offer you. What will those do? They won’t bring her back. They won’t change things. They won’t make you feel even the slightest bit better. 
Taehyung comes. He comes because he offers, and because you want him to. You want someone whose hand to hold. Want someone to smile at you when you’re speaking in front of your entire extended family and trying not to cry. You want someone who is familiar, and warm, and there for you. 
And most of all, you want someone who won’t keep the conversation going when you get home. 
“Do you wanna order Chinese?” He asks, coming into the living room, where you have been sulking on the couch ever since you stepped foot inside the door. 
“That sounds nice,” you force out. 
“Okay. Your usual?”
“Yes, please.” You don’t bother asking how Taehyung already remembers what you like to order when you’ve only gotten Chinese twice in the last three months. 
“I’ll call them.” He disappears off into the kitchen. 
What you do appreciate about Taehyung is how he has defaulted to food as a comfort measure, and how the thought alone genuinely brightens you up a little bit. You don’t know each other very well—still, after three months, you couldn’t even say his favorite color—but he is doing his best, and he is trying his hardest. In some ways, you were unlucky to marry him. To marry someone you didn’t love. To be forced into a union you had no say in, with someone you had so much antagonistic history with. 
But in some ways, your luck has changed. In some ways, marrying him was perhaps the best thing that could happen to you. Taehyung is snarky, a little devilish, and absolutely full of himself, but he is not thoughtless. He is not heartless. He has proven that he is willing to put in the work. That he can grow to care. To change. To compromise. And isn’t that the luckiest thing you could have gotten?
“I’m sure you’re probably sick of hearing people tell you they’re sorry for your loss.”
His voice breaks your reverie, carrying throughout the wide open space of your living room. He’s grinning honestly where he stands, slowly making his way over to you. 
“Kind of, yeah,” you admit. “It’s not going to bring her back. Most of those people probably don’t even mean it.”
“Don’t say that,” Taehyung says, sitting down next to you. “I’m sure they do.”
You look at him skeptically. 
“I mean, they’re sorry for your loss because that loss is causing you pain. And that sucks,” Taehyung explains, albeit a little less eloquently than you thought he would. “I know it sucks for me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t like seeing you sad,” Taehyung says honestly, shrugging to himself. 
You scoff a little to yourself. “I would have thought my downfall would be the exact thing the great Kim Taehyung would wish for himself.”
“Maybe a couple of years ago.”
You narrow your eyes. 
“Okay, maybe even a few months ago,” Taehyung admits with a laugh, making you smile, ever so slightly. “But it’s different now. I like it when you’re happy. When you’re snarky and funny and a little evil. Seeing you like this… I don’t like the way it makes me feel.”
“That’s called empathy,” you point out. 
“I’m trying to tell you that seeing you sad makes me sad, stop being a smartass,” Taehyung chides, and that really makes you grin. “There. There’s that smile I was looking for.”
“You’re so annoying,” you say, even though there’s no malice behind it. You give him a little push, palms of your hand pressing lightly against his shoulder as you roll your eyes. 
“Only for you,” he promises. He manages to grab a hold of your wrist as your hand meets his torso, pulling you into him as he wraps an arm around your torso. You gasp a little at the sensation, head falling against his body, fitting snugly in the crook of his neck. He gives your side a comforting rub. “I’m sorry today was so shitty.”
“It was,” you agree. “But Chinese food will make it a little bit better.”
Taehyung looks positively scandalized. “What? ‘Chinese food will make it better’? But not your loving, doting husband?” 
You pretend to think for a little bit, tilting your head up to the sky as you tap your chin with your finger. “Okay. Maybe that, too,” you cave after a bit of waiting, just to be extra bothersome. 
“That’s what I thought,” Taehyung says proudly, looking down at you, eyes sparkling. You can feel his grip tighten as he presses you against his body, letting you rest your head on his side. It feels like the longest hug ever, like you’re wrapped up in a weighted blanket. Only it’s not a blanket. It’s Taehyung. It’s your husband. 
He’s your husband.
“Tomorrow will be better,” he says, and it sounds a lot like a promise. 
You nod against him, letting your eyes drift shut. Things are pretty awful right now. Your grandmother’s dead. The funeral was the saddest family event you have ever attended. You have no idea what’s supposed to happen next. 
But he’s right. He seems to be right a lot these days, actually. 
Tomorrow will be better.
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Taehyung lets you sleep in for the next few days. Next several days, actually. Every time you wake up it’s close to noon and your husband is nowhere to be seen, the right side of the bed cold to the touch. It’s nothing to be worried about, though, because you can still see the noticeable dip in the bed from where he lies upon it, sinking his weight into the mattress. Taehyung’s an early bird and you’ve been having fitful nights ever since your grandmother passed. 
Today, you pull yourself out from underneath the covers around noon, sluggish and still tired, squinting as the near-afternoon light streams through the enormous windows of the bedroom. Taehyung must have thought to keep the curtains open today. 
You pull on the first casual clothes you see in your shared closet, some wide-leg sweatpants and a drapey t-shirt, and trudge downstairs like a raccoon to a trash can, hoping to fish through the kitchen cabinets to find something to eat. 
Taehyung is, as far as you can tell, nowhere to be seen. You can’t seem to hear him anywhere, and a part of you wonders where he’s at when you stumble upon the note left on the granite counter. 
Had a meeting downtown, be back around 1! There should be smoked salmon and some cream cheese and bagels in the fridge. 
Taehyung.
You chuckle to yourself as you read his flowy handwriting, amused that he thought to let you know of, of all things, the available breakfast foods in the kitchen. You check the clock. It’s nearly noon. Which means you have just over an hour of the house all to yourself. 
Having the house to yourself for five minutes is infrequent enough as it is, let alone for a whole hour. So often is Taehyung around, somewhere, holing himself up in one of the dozens of rooms or mindlessly wandering down the hallways. And for how much Taehyung is present, the funny part is that you still have no idea what he gets up to most of the time. Despite your voluntary abandoning of the separate bedroom rule, the two of you are still firm proponents of the sanctity of your personal spaces. There are rooms in the penthouse Taehyung has never been in, rooms filled with your clothes and makeup and accessories for when stylists come over before an event. A sewing room that you had specifically asked your parents for, because a part of you never let go of that childhood dream of being a fashion designer. 
And there are rooms in the penthouse that you have never been in. Rooms with dark wooden doors that have always been kept closed, that you have never stepped foot in. It’s not that you aren’t curious as to what Taehyung gets up to. He could have a goddamn evil lair in one of those rooms and you would be none the wiser. But you don’t go, because he doesn’t go into your rooms. Because you two, despite all the vows you have broken, promised each other you wouldn’t.
An hour to yourself is almost a good enough excuse for you to head back up to the bedroom and take a nap. Not that you don’t get enough sleep on a regular basis, or that you even had a fitful night last night—hell, you woke up near noon today and already you want to go back to sleep—but what else is there to do when he’s not around? What new freedoms have suddenly been given to you?
You head back upstairs, much less groggy after that delicious bagel of yours, when you catch a whiff of what smells like wet paint coming from down the hallway. It’s potent and immediately invades your senses, prompting you to wonder if that has always been there, or just magically appeared. Maybe you were so sleepy earlier, you didn’t notice it. 
Well, you notice it now. Unable to help yourself, you start to wander down the hallway, towards the source of the smell. God, it stinks. It takes you back to those days in middle school, when you would spray paint projects inside a tiny little classroom, have to step outside for fifteen minutes while you cracked the windows and aired it out. It gets stronger the further down the corridor you go, like a thick, smelly cloud stationed firmly within the walls of the penthouse. And then you realize where it’s coming from. 
It’s an art studio. 
A very messy art studio, you amend to yourself, as you peek inside. The door is wide open, and all of the windows are popped too, but the extra air circulation doesn’t seem to have made a dent in the scent. And all over the floor, the walls, and the tables are canvases covered in paint, denim jackets and pants and shirts with these wide, unafraid brushstrokes. Open cans of spray paint lie discarded on the hardwood floor stained with splotches of red, yellow, and green. 
Is this what Taehyung does in his free time? Is this where he goes, this bright, sunny room at the end of the second floor hallway? Is this what he is making?
You look down in awe at the clothes resting on the floor, splayed out to maximize dry time. Abstract faces, landscapes, and words are painted onto the backs of jackets, the fronts of old white t-shirts. What hasn’t made it onto the clothes has been put on canvases instead, blurs of color mixed together in this purposeful pattern, confidence emanating from every stroke, every dot. It’s not art in the way that the gorgeous landscapes of Monet, the picture-perfect portraits of Kahlo, the messy, unplanned splatters of Pollock are. It’s art in a different way. In a Taehyung way. 
Who knew he loved it so much? 
You almost feel like an invader encroaching on his territory when you lean down to start cleaning up some of the mess, throwing out empty spray-paint cans and tossing out grey paint water. You don’t dare touch any of the work, don’t dare try to move it. You do what you can, washing out the brushes resting in the water and cleaning up the wet splotches of paint on the hardwood. Over time, the thick scent of still-wet paint slowly fades, disappearing out the window as the fresh afternoon air seeps in. And you stand there, in a room full of art, in a room full of pieces that Taehyung has undoubtedly poured his heart into creating, and you smile to yourself. 
That’s how Taehyung finds you ten minutes later, peering into the room after declaring that his meeting had ended early. 
“Thought I’d find you in here,” Taehyung says with a grin as you jump at the sound of his voice, eyes widen when you turn around to see him standing by the door. 
“Oh, hey,” you say sheepishly. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Maybe because this is the farthest room in the house from the front door,” Taehyung teases lightly, coming up behind you. “I see you found my studio.”
“I know I’m not allowed in here,” you admit. 
Taehyung scoffs. “Who says?”
“Didn’t we both agree on that?”
He shrugs. “Sort of. I think we just reached an unspoken understanding we wouldn’t invade each other’s personal space. But it was not in the fine print, no.”
“The fine print of what?”
“That deal we made.”
Right. That deal you made, four months ago, That deal, where the two of you agreed to pretend to be in love with each other during public appearances so you wouldn’t get burned at the stake by your families. Where the two of you agreed not to interact with each other otherwise because you hated each other so much. 
“Oh, yeah,” you say distantly, feeling naive for already forgetting about it. It doesn’t seem to have slipped Taehyung’s mind whatsoever. 
“It’s okay, I don’t mind that you’re up here,” Taehyung says, interrupting that piercing little voice in the back of your head that is asking you why on earth you forgot about that deal in the first place.
“Yeah, I—” You scratch at the nape of your neck, trying to find the words to say. “It just smelled like paint, so I wanted to see what you get up too. And it’s this, apparently.” You motion vaguely to the entire room.
“You sound… surprised,” Taehyung muses correctly. 
“I guess I am,” you surmise. “I’m rather impressed, too, actually.”
“Really?” It’s Taehyung’s turn to sound surprised. 
“Yeah,” you tell him honestly, looking into his eyes. “I—you know, I just came in here because the entire hallway smelled like wet paint and I wanted to know why. But I didn’t know you loved art so much.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Taehyung points out. 
You suppose that’s true. You don’t know his favorite color. His favorite song. His favorite book. For a long time, you didn’t know what he got up to on his side of the penthouse. You don’t know how he met his friends. What he studied in university. Who he has loved in the past. Who he loves now. You don’t know why he does the things he does, and why he doesn’t do the things he doesn’t do. 
But you do know his Chinese takeout order. 
And you do know his hobbies. Well, one of them, at least. 
Who’s to say you can’t learn more?
“Well,” you start with a smile. “I’m your wife, aren’t I? Shouldn’t I begin to learn?”
Taehyung picks up what you’re putting down instantly, grinning in response. “Only if you’ll tell me things about you, too,” he requisitions. 
“I will,” you promise. It’s the easiest one you’ve ever had to make. 
His face is light, bright, bathed in the rays of the afternoon sun. His eyes shimmer as they meet yours, golden flecks more pronounced like this, in this gorgeous, open space, daylight streaming through the windows. Looking at him makes you feel like you are surrounded by warmth, makes you feel like the sun is opening its arms out to you. He has always been gorgeous. Beautiful. But looking at him like this, standing in the middle of a room filled with all the things he loves, a yellow halo surrounding him—he is ethereal. 
Taehyung smiles. “Then I will, too.”
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The hand-holding comes naturally tonight.
The funny thing is, actually, you don’t need to hold hands at this gathering. It’s not an event. Or a public appearance. It’s not even a business dinner. It’s your aunt’s sixtieth birthday party, reserved exclusively for family. Isn’t that strange? That Taehyung is, technically, family now?
For so long you had vowed to stay as far away from him as possible. Vowed to stick it to him whenever and wherever you could, do anything you could to get on his nerves, rile him up. Vowed that when you, one day, took over your family affairs, you would never, ever invite him. Make it known that he wasn’t to be a part of your life. And yet, here you are. Clinging to him despite being well-acquainted with—loved by, even—every other person in the room. Holding his hand like a goddamn lifeline. 
To be fair, Taehyung doesn’t look a hair out of place here. Dressed relatively casually, a smart sweater with a collared shirt underneath it, he smiles warmly at all of your relatives and presents your aunt with a beautiful and very expensive scarf the two of you had commissioned from a designer in Italy, which she absolutely loves. She pinches his cheek and proceeds to wear it for the rest of the night. 
“Damn,” you murmur to yourself as you wander around your aunt’s house, hand wrapped around his arm. “This place hasn’t changed a bit.”
“When was the last time you were here?” Taehyung asks. 
The question actually makes you think for a moment. “I don’t know, maybe five years ago? Last couple of birthdays I was overseas or in school. Had to send her a card.”
“Bet your parents were real pleased with that,” he jokes, making you both laugh. At least you two will always be able to share your experiences of domineering and influential parents with each other. 
“Oh, I’m sure. Just as pleased as they were when they realized how much we hated each other.” You expect that little jest to elicit a laugh out of Taehyung as well, but he just smiles tightly, huffing out a breath of acknowledgement. 
“Eh, it’s not like that now, is it?” He offers up. 
“I suppose not,” you muse, sitting down together on her ancient grandma couch in the living room. No matter how rich your family gets, she’ll never get rid of this thing, that’s for sure. 
One thing you’ve picked up over time is that, for every second Taehyung spends basking in the spotlight, he spends an equal amount of time lingering by the wall, watching the rest of the world turn without him. He’s an observer. He is one by nature, feeling an irresistible pull to understand humans in a way only artists could ever do. He sits down next to you and watches your family in an environment where they can relax, where they can feel comfortable and be casual with one another. 
Very seldom have you ever brought friends to events like these. Small family affairs. But Taehyung isn’t a friend, is he? No, he’s your husband. He belongs here just as much as you do. 
“My family seems to really like you,” you point out. Not that anybody has ever harbored as much disdain for him as you. Your parents called him respectable and polite when they told you you were to be wed. Your grandmother had said he was a dashing young man. He doesn’t exactly have to reach far to be loved around here. 
“That’s my job, isn’t it?” He replies snidely. 
“Oh, just take the compliment,” you say with a roll of your eyes. Taehyung always has to be so difficult. “I’m surprised you aren’t nervous as hell. Last boyfriend I brought to meet my parents was shaking in his Louis Vuitton shoes.”
“Last boyfriend, huh?” Taehyung’s interest has been sufficiently piqued. “And, uh, how many of those have you had?”
You narrow your eyes at him suspiciously, smile twitching on your lips. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Mr. Heartbreaker.” Pretty rich of Taehyung to be asking you such a question when he’s probably had more girlfriends than you can count on both hands. “Not as many as you’ve had girlfriends, that’s for sure.”
“Guess I’m a lot different than all those trashy guys you’ve dated, aren’t I?” He asks, an eyebrow raised as he looks at you. 
“You are?”
Taehyung nods assertively. “Well, yeah. First of all, I’m your husband. Second of all, your parents love me. Third of all, you love me, too.”
You scoff. “Don’t humble yourself. You don’t know me that well.”
“Speaking of which,” Taehyung says, eyes wide as he points to you knowingly, “how about you tell me a little fact about yourself? It’s my job to learn about you, isn’t it?”
“That is my line, watch it,” you sneer, pointing back at him. You wrack your brain for a fact that you can tell him, something more exciting than your favorite color but less weird than one of those terrible icebreaker exercises you had to do in college seminars. Something that has pertinence to who you are. Who you’ve become. “Alright. I used to want to be a fashion designer when I was little.”
Now that catches Taehyung off guard. “Really?” He says, genuinely intrigued. 
You shrug. “Yeah. I learned to sew when I was really little. Been tailoring and hemming clothes all my life. But I always wanted to design my own stuff.”
“Is that what’s in your room?” Taehyung asks. “A sewing machine?”
“Bingo.”
“Wow,” Taehyung says. “I didn’t know that.”
“Isn’t that the whole point of this exercise?” You say, just to be smart. 
Taehyung shakes his head, eyes rolling. 
“What about you?” You ask. You can’t imagine what he’ll say. Astronaut. Veterinarian. Or, if he really wants to surprise you, a business executive. 
“A museum curator.”
It is an answer that simultaneously surprises and doesn’t surprise you at all. 
“Fitting,” you muse. “You could have put your own art on display.”
“Pretty sure that’s, like, super unethical,” Taehyung reminds you. 
“So? You’re rich. Start your own museum. Put your own art on display. Live your dream,” you amend. “It shouldn’t be holed up in that studio of yours forever. It deserves to be seen.”
Taehyung smiles at you. “You think so?”
You nod. “Of course. You create beautiful things, Tae.” It’s the first time you’ve ever called him that. And that is not lost on Taehyung, either.
“Thank you,” he says softly, blinking as he looks at you. He doesn’t say anything else. He doesn’t need to.
Later that night, when everyone’s gotten a few drinks into their systems and Bruce Springsteen is playing low on the stereo, Taehyung disappears off towards the bathroom, no doubt because of the excellent soup that was served that night. All by your lonesome, you feel a little stranded, surrounded by your old relatives dancing on the hardwood floor of the dining room, your other cousins too young to actually spend time with. 
In the commotion, your mother comes up to you, swirling a rather large glass of red wine in her hand. 
“Where’s Taehyung?” She asks. 
“Bathroom.”
“No wonder you were alone,” she says with a hearty laugh. “The two of you have been glued to each other’s sides all evening.”
“He’s my husband,” you offer as an explanation. 
“I know, I know,” she says, shaking you off with a smile. Your mother is a lot more casual once she’s had her fill of wine, no doubt her favorite, Bordeaux. A lot more loving, too. “You really made your grandmother proud, you know? She loved you so much.”
“I know,” you say, trying not to get choked up at the mere mention of your grandmother. 
“She was so happy to see you with Taehyung. It made her feel safe that you would be taken care of,” she continues on, barely paying you and your swimming eyes any attention. “She would be so happy to see you with him now, too. How much you love her.”
“I miss her,” you hiccup out, trying to compose yourself. Nothing kills a birthday party like some sad sack crying over her deceased grandmother. 
“I know, darling,” your mother says, calling you by a nickname she has hardly used ever since you turned eighteen. She squeezes you tightly, a small hug of comfort. “I miss her, too.”
Someone calls your mother’s name, distracting her as she wanders off to your uncle, who is asking what the best way to cut the three-tiered cake on the dining room table is. She bids you a goodbye before disappearing towards the kitchen, no doubt ready to make the cutting of the cake an affair all on its own. 
Taehyung comes back soon after, spotting you instantly as you stand around in the living room. 
“Hey,” he says, noticing the wet shimmer of your eyes. “You alright?”
You nod, feeling better already now that he has returned. Now that he is by your side. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“I hope those tears aren’t because you missed me,” he says, wiping away a stray one that has escaped from your eyes. You close them as his thumb brushes against your upper cheek, your eyelashes, opening them only when you’ve felt his touch vanish from your skin, leaving little sparks in their wake. 
“No,” you say. But the night makes you honest, and a couple of drinks, even more so. “But I’m glad you’re here.”
Taehyung smiles. “Me, too.”
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For all those days you have spent together, never have you and Taehyung had a night in. Which isn’t necessarily completely surprising, considering how many evening events the two of you have had obligations to attend, considering your differing work schedules and meeting times. Considering that, for a very long time, the two of you had no desire to spend any time with each other at all. 
But tonight, there is nothing on your calendar. No galas, no dinners, no meetings, no schedules. There is only Taehyung, who has spent the entire afternoon up in his studio, inhaling spray paint fumes and doing what he loves. And there is only you, who has spent the entire afternoon wondering what the hell you’re going to do tonight when there is nothing else planned. 
You knock on the door to his studio, catching him right as he’s finishing up another piece. This one is a single flower, painted in broad, confident strokes, bright green and red and sunflower yellow decorating the canvas. 
“Hey, what’s up?” He asks, turning around to face you. 
“Wanna order takeout tonight?” You suggest. 
Taehyung grins. 
Thirty minutes and your favorite Chinese food later, you and Taehyung have settled onto the couch, trays of dumplings and noodles and rice in front of you, an unfunny movie playing in the background. 
You can’t remember the last time the two of you sat on this couch together. Maybe that night you had made the deal? Perhaps not even then. It wouldn’t at all surprise you if you found out that this was the very first time you and Taehyung have sat together on your couch, in your living room, in your house. So often is it occupied by others—Victoria, who sometimes comes over to ooh and ahh at your closet, Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok, who sit on this couch and play FIFA like it’s their job, your mother, when she wants to make herself at home in a place that doesn’t belong to her—but never you. Never you and him. 
“This is kinda nice, isn’t it?” You ask, swallowing a bite of dumpling. 
“Chinese food is always nice,” Taehyung responds over a mouthful of cold noodles. 
“Not that,” you say with a sigh, “this. Sitting together. Watching this shitty movie.”
“It’s not that shitty,” Taehyung tries to reason. On screen, the main character is getting pied in the face during some weird college fundraiser. “Okay, it’s a little shitty. But it’s good background noise, right?”
You nod halfheartedly. “I guess.” Silence. You take another bite of your dumpling, not really sure how to continue the conversation. “We don’t really get to do this a lot, you know? Sit and eat dinner and watch a movie together. Like a date.”
“We’re on a date now, are we?” Taehyung muses, eyeing you snarkily. 
“Isn’t that what this is?” You retort. 
He shrugs. “I suppose it is.”
“Tell me another fact about you,” you request, looking over to him where he sits on the opposite side of the couch. 
“About what?”
“Anything.”
Taehyung pauses, ponders for a moment. But he could never say anything wrong. Not when there is still so much you don’t know about him. Still so much you want to learn, so much you want to commit to memory. For so long you have stared at the planes of his face, the curve of his nose, the twinkle in those dark brown eyes. Those you will always remember. But what about who he is? What he loves? Those are things you still don’t know. 
“The very first time I met you,” Taehyung begins, “I asked Jimin what your name was.”
“When was that?” You ask. Despite you being someone who has spent the better part of the last several years vowing never to give Taehyung the time of day, you sure don’t remember when it all started. 
“That debutante ball,” Taehyung remembers fondly, “when we were fifteen. I asked Jimin what your name was because I wanted to ask you to dance.”
“Shut up, no you didn’t,” you say with a scoff. 
“It’s true. You were standing there in that poofy white dress and I wanted to ask you to dance,” Taehyung points out. The fact that he even remembers what you were wearing is shocking. 
Who knew. Who knew, back then, that you would one day grow up to marry him. 
“And what did I say?” You demand more. 
Taehyung laughs at the memory. “I came up to you, and I asked you if you wanted to dance, and you said, and I quote, ‘Who are you?’”
“No,” you say, aghast at your own behavior. Were those really the first words you ever said to KIm Taehyung?
“You did. Don’t you remember?”
You think back. Think back to every year you have ever known Taehyung, every year you have spent scowling at him from across ballroom floors, making some snide remark as you pass by each other in the hallway. Every year you have spent cursing his existence, willing him away from you so he could bother someone else. Every year you have listened to rumor after rumor of girlfriend after girlfriend. You think back and somewhere, somewhere in there, in those dusty corners of your brain and cobwebbed boxes of your heart, is that first memory of Taehyung, too. 
Of him standing there in some generic black suit, black hair swept over his forehead, shoes too big. Of him coming up to you, trying to be as suave as a fifteen year old could be. Of you saying to him, instead of a hello, or even a what’s your name, “who are you?” 
Of him saying—
“And you said, ‘your dream come true’.” Like a dam bursting open, the memories flood back to you all at once. “I remember that.”
Taehyung laughs out loud at the thought of him saying something so cheesy. “Unsurprisingly, you didn’t want to dance with me.”
“You were so—” you begin, but you don’t have the words. Don’t have the words to express how you felt about him that night. Don’t have the words to express how you feel about him now. Thinking about this, talking about it, it is a bridge. A bridge between what was then and what is now. A bridge between who Taehyung was and who you were and who Taehyung is and who you are. “—so unthinkable. I couldn’t believe you had come up to me and said that. I couldn’t believe you had the audacity. But something about that night made me remember you. Made me remember your name.”
“You thought about me after that?” Taehyung asks. “Is that what you’re telling me?”
“There is something about you that is unforgettable,” you say, honest and real and true. What else can you tell him? The truth is that you have always thought about him. Whether you liked him or not. 
You finish your dinner and place your trays on the end tables next to you, stacking your empty bowls and plates on top of one another as the movie rumbles on in the background. 
“It is kind of a shitty movie,” Taehyung admits after a while of being wholly unenthused. 
“Yeah,” you agree. “But it’s good background noise.”
Taehyung laughs at your little mockery, warm and deep and from his belly. You look at him. He feels so far away, on the other side of the couch. Feels like he’s miles apart from you. You have spent countless nights clinging to his harm, hand gripped tight in his. And sitting like this, a full couch cushion of space between the two of you—it isn’t enough anymore. So you inch closer. 
And closer. 
And a little closer. 
Until you’re pressed up against his side, legs touching as they rest neatly in front of you, backs stick straight as you stare at the television. 
Taehyung holds his arm up. An open invitation. 
Without asking, you lean into him, resting your head in the crook of his shoulder, in the space right underneath his jaw. You pull your feet up onto the couch and curl into his frame, pressing yourself against him. He is warm and firm and inescapable. He smells of coffee and paint and Chinese spices. He wraps his arm around you and pulls you in, as if there were any other place you’d rather be. 
You sit like that for a while. Wrapped up in each other. Lazing around on the couch as the stars twinkle above your head. The movie ends and the two of you don’t even bother skipping the credits, letting them and the cheesy 80’s pop song play on, a distant soundtrack. 
“I never thought any of this would happen,” you breathe out. 
Taehyung looks down at you curiously. “What? This?”
“All of it,” you admit. “Us. Getting married. That stupid tabloid picture. My grandmother. This. It’s all so new.”
“New things will happen all the time,” Taehyung muses aloud. “We can’t help when things change.”
“You don’t have any regrets?” You have plenty. Regrets that you’ll never become the CEO you wanted to be in college. Regrets that you’ll never become the fashion designer you wanted to be as a little girl. Regrets that you will come to resent this marriage, resent Taehyung more than you have in years past, all because you had no choice. Regrets that your grandmother couldn’t see you now. Regrets that there were so many things in your life you could have changed, but didn’t.
“I thought I did,” Taehyung tells you. “I wanted to spend more time with my friends. I wanted to major in art in college. I didn’t want to marry you. I know you didn’t want to marry me.” He looks down and you look up at the same time, eyes locking, inches apart. “But looking back on it, I’m happy where I am. With what I have.”
“I never thought it could ever be like this,” you say, words falling off your tongue before you even ask them to.
“What?”
“Us.”
There’s no need to elaborate. Taehyung understands. He understands that, half a year ago, you both would have thrown yourselves into a volcano before holding hands with each other. He understands that getting over your hatred for each other seemed like an absolutely insurmountable task. He understands that you had never wanted to marry each other, that you couldn’t believe you would have to spend the rest of your lives with each other. 
And he understands that now, things are different. 
“I’m glad things happened the way they did,” Taehyung begins. “I’m grateful for us.”
You press yourself impossibly closer to him, feel his grip tighten around you. Like this, you can hear his heartbeat. Hear it thump like a drum, steady and firm and unwavering. His heart beats against his chest and you wonder. 
You wonder if he can hear the way yours beats for him, too.
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There were lots of things that made your night in together special. But one of them is the glaring fact that you don’t get them very often. That their infrequency makes them all the more valuable. 
This has become blatantly obvious to you, because right now you are not spending a night in together. Right now you are stuck at a gala that you have to attend for the sake of business, drinking thin flutes of champagne and mingling with people you barely speak to. 
The one good thing about nights like these is that Taehyung looks positively gorgeous in suits. He sort of always has, but you’d never admit that to his face. At least not until now. And as his wife, you are lucky enough to have a front-row seat. 
“I can feel you staring at me all the way from over here,” Taehyung deadpans as he helps himself to a chocolate-covered strawberry from the buffet table. 
You’re too obvious to have any shame about it. “What can I say, I like the view.”
“Hard to believe I was the once the one being shouted at for being inappropriate in public,” Taehyung says with a shake of his head. He bites into the strawberry and eats it all in a single go, tossing the stems into a bin nearby as you join back up in the heart of the crowd. 
“It’s only inappropriate if other people hear,” you tease, letting him guide you, hand intertwined with yours, towards an empty corner where the two of you can snuggle up to one another in (relative) peace. 
“I don’t think the champagne was very good for your filter, Miss Y/N,” Taehyung hisses into your ear, warm breath tickling your skin. 
“Don’t you mean Mrs. Kim?” You pose, an eyebrow raised. 
That seems to do something to Taehyung. It’s not very bright in here, with it being nighttime and all, but even still you can see the way his eyes darken. See the way his lips curl upwards, feel the way his grip on you tightens. It sparks something within you. Something deep in the pit of your belly. 
Something that makes you want more. 
You test the waters. “Mrs. Kim has a nice ring to it, don’t you think, Tae?”
Taehyung looks about a moment away from losing control. But instead of slamming you against the wall in front of all of these people and giving you what you really want, he growls out, low and powerful, “Home. Now.”
He doesn’t need to tell you twice. 
You hail your car outside of the venue and it’s all the both of you can do to not jump on each other right then and there, in the backseat of this giant black van, overcome with want, with need, with everything in between. Taehyung’s leg bounces impatiently the entire ride back, and the feeling of your hand pressed against his doesn’t seem to be calming him down. He pulls you close to him in the backseat of the car, a hand resting on your thigh. You eye him carefully, as if challenging him to be any more daring. He grins. 
Home cannot come soon enough. The two of you tumble out of the backseat and into the elevators, where you mash the top floor button after entering in the security access code, desperate and shameless. The ride seems to take hours, and the heat that surrounds you practically smothers you, covers you, fills up your lungs and chokes you. 
There is nothing left by the time you reach your door. The moment it slams shut behind you Taehyung presses you up against the back of it, pins you against the wood as he hovers over you, eyes tracing your lips. 
“Tell me something,” he demands. 
“What?” 
“A fact. Something I don’t know.”
It doesn’t take much thinking. “I want you,” you breathe out, watch it hit his skin, watch the way his eyes glint in the light of the entranceway. “Please, Tae. I want you.”
It’s enough for him. 
This is not the first time you and Taehyung have kissed. The first time was nearly five months ago, in a chapel, at an altar, surrounded by hundreds of people. It was so unfun that you seem to have eradicated the mere thought from your memory. But you remember that feeling from that day. That feeling you got when you pressed your lips against his, cemented your marriage with a kiss. That heat. That sting. 
Kissing him now—that feeling has returned tenfold. When his lips meet yours, it feels like fire is rushing through your veins, setting alight every nerve it passes, unforgiving and relentless. His enormous hands come up to cup your jaw, fingers pressing against the skin of your cheeks as they pull you close to him, keep you trapped in his hold. This is not the first time you and Taehyung have kissed but it feels like it is—it feels like there is a lotus blooming on a lilypad in your heart, it feels like you have been struck by lightning, it feels like nothing else you have ever felt before. It feels brand new. 
Pressing back against him, he slowly releases you from the cage he has created against the door, spinning around so the two of you can tumble up the stairs and into your bedroom, unable to resist sneaking in pecks here and there as you make your way upstairs. Every step you take you stop, giggle as he presses you against the railing just so he can steal another kiss from you, put his hands all over your body. It’s a wonder the two of you even make it into your bedroom at all. 
When you do, however, all bets are off. Taehyung presses you against the still-made bedsheets with a glint in his eye and a growl on his lips, pupils blown wide as he stares down at you, at your body.
"Aren't you a sight? Laid out so pretty for me," he purrs, robbing a breath from you.
It's a tone you have yet to hear from him. You find yourself growing impossibly hot under his stare, burning with an uncharted desire.
You can hardly wrap your brain around it. Here you are, craving the man you had spent the better half of your young adult life loathing. Maybe it’s the champagne; maybe it’s the way his fingers are running slowly up the length of your clothed torso. Whatever it is, your stomach does flips, unfamiliar to the way your body preens under his touch.
"Don't let it go to your head," you tease, simply because you could.
Taehyung hums disapprovingly, pressing kisses into your neck as he grabs one of your thighs and wraps it around his waist, riding your dress up in the process.
You sigh, exposing your neck further for him as he paints bruises into your neck. It feels like just yesterday you had called him out at the altar for his habit of sporting the very same marks you were soon to wear.
Perhaps you should have thought twice about letting the man you had married purely under business pretenses press his hips against your clothed center, but as he rolls his into yours, your mind falls blank, silencing any and all reservations you should have.
Whimpering, you beckon his mouth back onto yours, tongue meeting his wantonly. 
You feel his fingers creep up the outside of your bare thigh, thrilling you in the most primal way. Reaching the band of your underwear after what felt like entirely too long, he runs the pad of his thumb against the lacy fabric.
 You could scream. He is doing this on purpose. He must be. Surely he knows how badly you were aching for him? For him to fill you– whatever the manner may be.
You let out a whine before you can help yourself, frowning as Taehyung looks pleased with himself, confirming his knowledge of your prolonged pleasure.
"What's that? Did you say something?" he mocks, looking cruel and yet strikingly gorgeous as he smirks above you.
"God, you're irritating,” you huff, hips jerking up against his as he pulls at the band of your underwear, the elastic snapping back into the flesh of your hip. "Just fuck me already."
He tuts, clearly unimpressed by your impatience, "Now, where is the fun in that?"
Your eyes flutter shut as his fingers suddenly snake their way between your thighs. Mouth falling ajar, you grip his shoulders as he runs his middle finger against your clothed slit, trailing up and down your warmth. To think he was still dressed while he was touching you like this...
"No... I think I'll take my time with you," he says.
You mew against his hand, arousal forming against his long digits' ministrations. You have to hand it to him. Taehyung knows what he’s doing. The life of a bachelor has seemingly served him well.
You aren’t usually vocal in bed, but the way he’s purring words of filth to you, breath hot against the shell of your ear as he tells you how hot and slick your pretty pussy felt against his hand, has you gasping and sputtering, your own fingers wrapping around his wrist.
The fabric of your panties provides a friction that toys the line of pleasure and pain, making you thrust up to meet his motions, your humility slipping from you.
Taehyung watches you intently, cock growing hard under the constraints of his dress pants. You look better than he could've imagined, eyes watering and body shivering under his touch, his fingers soaking with your arousal. He can only imagine what you'd feel like with his fingers fully buried into you, rocking them against your velvety walls.
He lets out a groan of his own, turned on by the idea of you fucking yourself onto his fingers, whimpering out his name in ecstasy.
There’s this part of you that faintly recognizes that Taehyung has done this plenty of times before. Plenty of times with plenty of other lovers. But there is a different part of you, that part that bursts with light and hope, that reminds you that he was never married to those other ones. That his allegiance lies with you. And that thought, knowing that deep within you, he is yours, makes your jaw fall slack, pretty noises tumbling from your lips and your thighs clamping around him.
You were close, closer than you care to admit. Every touch against you is careful yet deliberate as he reads the signs of your body, the way it keens and arches into him, offering you words of encouragement as your climax finally hits.
"That's right. Good girl. Let go for me," Taehyung coos, eyes dark and focused on your writhing form.
You cry out into the familiar space of your shared room, head thrown back as you ride out the high, letting it wrack your body, send jolts throughout your veins.
You barely have time to catch your breath when he presses his mouth back onto yours, kiss still as eager as it was when you both first entered your home. You are alight with satisfaction as he pulls away to press a trail of kisses against your jaw.
"I want—f-fuck," you stutter as he finds your already hypersensitive clit once more, rolling his thumb over your now soaked panties in tantalizing circles, "want to make you feel good, too."
Admittedly, this fantasy had crossed your mind once or twice, brought on by the way he carried himself in a suit and the way his large fingers wrapped around the champagne glass; confident, collected, and entirely charming. Who are you to shy away from a man like him? He certainly has always been rather good-looking. 
He pauses his motions, pulling his hand back to sit on your waist. Your dress is of the finest, most delicate satin, and after tonight's activities, completely wrinkled. You can almost hear your stylist's cries of dismay. Whatever. You have a steamer. And why focus on the dress when it’s obvious the two of you are focused on what lies underneath it?
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." You nod, skin still burning from your past climax.
Helping you back up, Taehyung stands. You lick your lips as you sit back up on the edge of the bed, watching intently as he unbuckles his belt, audibly hissing as his pants fall to his ankles, cock visibly straining against the fabric of his underwear. Thank God you don’t have to stand. With the way your thighs still felt weak and how your husband looks like a goddamn Adonis towering above you? Your legs surely would give out underneath you if you rose.
Brows furrowed, Taehyung palms over himself briefly before pulling down the waistband of his underwear, his painfully hard member slapping against his torso.
Your eyes widened on instinct. While the last thing you wanted to do was help inflate Taehyung's already large ego, you were certainly impressed at his size; thick and girthy, his tip red and shining with precum.
He couldn't help but smirk, thoroughly pleased by the way you stared at him unabashedly, chest rising and falling heavily.
"Open up for me," he orders.
And who are you to deny a request from your dear husband?
Your pretty lips wrap themselves around his engorged tip, all remnants of lipstick long gone by now. Taehyung hisses, a hand finding the side of your jaw as you run your tongue against the underside of his cock.
"Fuck, you're so pretty," he grunts, fighting off the urge to grip the back of your head and fuck your throat. As much as he'd love your have you choking and drooling all over his cock – and boy would he – he lets you set your own pace, not wanting to overwhelm you.
It doesn't take long for you to sink your mouth further down, however, clearly set on making Taehyung feel as good as you could.
A low moan erupts from his throat, digits pressing into your jaw in request to take more of him in, which you happily oblige.
You had your eyes trained on him, completely obsessed with the way he panted through pink lips, hissing slightly every time your tongue rolled over his sensitive tip.
Lolling his head to a side, his eyes meet yours, gaze primal and wolfish as he watches the way you worked his cock.
"Doing so good, love. Doing so fucking good for me,” he murmurs.
You hum against his skin at the sound of the sudden pet name, an unfamiliar feeling fluttering in your belly. You push aside the feeling, focusing instead on the way he grunts at the new sensation you had just given him.
Giggling, you pull off his cock, opting instead to press a kiss against his leaking tip, making sure to hold his eyes as you run kitten licks against it.
"God, you're such a tease." He shakes his head in disbelief. 
He looks so good above you, shivering and cursing out praises on how good your mouth feels, how well you take his cock. Running your tongue along the length of his shaft, you become certain that this is a display you can’t imagine yourself ever getting tired of. But you have all the time in the world, right?
"Y/N,” he gasps suddenly, hips jerking towards your face. "Love, I'm gonna-- gonna cum."
"Cum in my mouth, please." Your voice was pleading and desperate. Taehyung had never heard such words spoken more sweetly. 
"Fuck's sake."
You let out a yelp in surprise as his fingers work their way through your hair, bringing your head back down onto his cock. You relax, though, when you feel the hot ropes of his cum hit the back of your throat, your hands finding purchase on his thighs as you do your best to swallow it all down.
Pulling yourself off him, you let out a small cough, eyes watering slightly as you hadn’t managed to prepare yourself with a breath before his release. His large palm runs across the top of your head as you caught your breath, expression flickering with something unfamiliar. Could it be... fondness? 
Your heart stammers at the thought as you stand, slowly stepping out of your dress, letting it drape off of your figure. Taehyung looks absolutely gobsmacked, pupils dark as he gazes at you, eyes unabashedly raking your body. He’s shameless. 
You both are. 
Slowly, you step towards him, fingers reaching out towards his shirt, carefully undoing the buttons as you gaze at each other, expressions unreadable. 
"Tae?” You ask innocently, blinking up at him. “Fuck me?" 
Your polite request makes Taehyung chuckle. 
"Please?" You bring your bottom lip between your teeth, eyes blinking up at him adoringly for good measure. You reach the last button, let his dress shirt drape open. He brushes it off himself, stands there for a few seconds just to let the way you’re ogling his toned chest go to his head. At least he’s good-looking. 
He sighs, probably contemplating some clever rebuttal, but eventually decides against it as his cock is already twitching back to life.
"Alright, love. Turn around. On your knees for me," He orders, making your stomach flip.
To your surprise, you are hardly in place when the warmth of his large hands finds the soft of your tummy, pressing you back into his chest as he pressed a peck to the back of your neck.
You squirm in his hold, whining as that same hand of his grabs hold of your breast, long digit rolling your nipple between their tips. You can’t help but press your ass back into him. His cock feels hot and heavy, pressing against the back of your thigh, making your pussy clench in anticipation. 
You want him.
You want him so bad that you don't know what to do with yourself, shuddering as his free hand runs along the side of your ass, leaving scorching hot trails on your skin wherever he kneads into your flesh. He's touching you everywhere – everywhere but where you need him the most, and the arousal that drips down your thigh mocks you.
"Dammit, please!" You exclaim, running out of patience.
"Please what?" He says, an eyebrow arched.
You shiver, committing the way his middle finger traced your pelvic bone to memory forever.
You puff out a frustrated breath, nearly at your wit's end. "Please fuck me, Tae."
Taehyung pauses, grip on your breast and hip tightening as he lets out a moan. You let one out yourself as you feel him readjust, cock pressing against your slick entrance.
"Fuck, you sound so pretty when you say my name," He grunts. "Okay, baby. I'll fuck you. Begging so nicely for my cock."
You let out a squeak as you're suddenly pushed down onto your hands, back arching as he pushes his fat cock inside your heavenly cunt. He's thick, so thick, that you instinctively grip the sheet underneath you, fingers curled around them tightly as if it means to hold onto your sanity.
Taehyung lets out a shaky breath, angling your hips up so that you could take more of him.
"You feel—feel so good," he admits above you, and suddenly you wish you could see him. See the way his bangs stick to his damp forehead—see the way his tongue swipes over his bottom lip wickedly.
You let that thought go, however, as he thrust into you, making your jaw fall slack and eyes flutter shut. Profanities roll off your tongue unabashedly, helpless under the way his thick member pulls out of you, only to slam back into you.
You weren't expecting this. The way he stretches you out further than anyone had before. Your pussy clenches around him, reveling in the sweet, sweet burn.
He digs into the flesh of your hips, holding you steady as you mew and cry out, pushing your hips back in time to his, trying your best to meet his movements.
"Tae... fuck, fuck, fuck—"
He was filling you to the brim. Filling you tight and deep.
God, the way he was panting behind you was music to your ears. His cock pulses every time you call out his name, voice muffled and buried as you had your head pressed into the mattress, hair messy and bouncing with every hard thrust.
"S'good! Fuck... so, ah, big..." you cry out.
You feel drunk. Intoxicated off this beautiful man and the way he makes you feel a way only he can.
You nearly let out a sob as the rough pads of Taehyung's fingertips suddenly reach around you and find your neglected clit, rolling light circles on the soft and swollen bundle of nerves skillfully.
You are a mess, whimpering and drooling into your expensive sheets, and he filled every inch of you, leaving no place undiscovered. Your high nears, stewing on low heat somewhere near the pit of your belly, waiting for a chance to erupt and wash all over you. Taehyung must be close to, you realize, as his thrusts began to slow down, slamming into you roughly as if chasing after his high.
"Gonna take this load? Huh? Gonna let me cum inside your pretty little pussy?" His voice is straining, as if trying to breathe evenly but merely moments from falling apart.
If only you could formulate an intelligent response, but instead, you are a blubbering wreck, thighs shaking as they threatened to give out underneath you. But somehow, Taehyung knew. He had you. Quicking his motions against your delicate pearl, he could tell you were close too, and he was going to make sure you got there.
Suddenly, you're crying out and convulsing, tears brimming at the ends of your eyes as you feel Taehyung empty into you, collapsing onto his hands as well.
You feel his hot breath against the back of your neck as he pants, breath growing more and more even as the two of you regain control of your bodies and minds.
Pulling out of you, he plops down beside you, and for a moment, the two of you hold each other's gazes, eyes speaking in ways words never could.
Finally, after what feels both like an eternity and just a moment, you work up the courage to say something, moving closer to him as you place a hand on his chest, cushioning your chin as you rested on top of it.  
"Psst," you beckon, voice hushed.
"Yeah?" His voice is husky and tired.
"I’m grateful, too."
"Huh?"
"I’m grateful for us, too."
Taehyung's gaze is soft, and it lingers on you for a second before the sides of his mouth curl up tenderly. He grins down at you, eyes drifting shut. You feel him squeeze you closer, pressing you against his skin. And then, you hear his breathing steady, see his lips part slightly. 
You lean into his chest, eyelids fluttering. “Thank you, Tae.”
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Not unlike the many other mornings you have awoken in this bed, when you open your eyes as the morning sunlight streams through the windows, Taehyung is nowhere to be found. The sheets on his side of the bed are flipped aside, revealing that soft outline of his body from the night before left imprinted into the sheets, a dip in the mattress where he slept. You had fallen asleep all wrapped up in each other, tangled up like vines, but must have separated sometime during the night. Distantly, you register Taehyung’s voice outside, notice his phone missing from his bedside table. He must be on an early morning call. 
You check your phone for the time. Ten o’clock. 
A late morning call, then. 
Still basking in the afterglow of the night prior, you slowly inch your way out of bed, shivering as you pull the covers off you and scoot your legs around so they hang over the edge of the bed. You rub at your eyes until you faintly remember you did not take your makeup off last night, and when your hand comes away covered with black streaks and flecks of mascara, you wince to yourself. There goes five hundred dollars worth of a skincare routine. 
After washing yourself up and applying as many serums as you can to your skin, you wrap yourself up in one of his button-up shirts, the torso so wide that it drapes over you. The tips of your fingers peek out from the ends of the sleeves, and you cross your arms lightly over your chest as you make your way to the door, ready to entice your husband back to bed for round two. What? It’s Saturday. 
You peer around the door to find Taehyung standing a few feet away, facing away from you. He’s shirtless, and as his wife you have absolutely no problems ogling him, the toned curves of his back, the muscles in his arms. He’s always been a looker. You just finally have an excuse to look for yourself. 
You approach him quietly, not wanting to interrupt nor broadcast your sex life to anybody on the other side who may be listening. Already, the idea of crawling back in bed together sends goosebumps along your skin, makes you giddy with anticipation. You’re just about to tap him on the shoulder, lips curled upwards in suggestion, when he says—
“And my inheritance? That’s secured now, right? Because I said I would pretend to be in love with her in public—?”
And it is as if Medusa herself appeared in this room, turning you to stone as your heart thuds to the floor, a hollow, empty noise. 
You don’t hear the rest of Taehyung’s conversation. You don’t even hear the sound of your own heartbeat. This terrible, aching sound rings in your ears, silencing everything in its wake, drowning out even the sighs of your own breath. It is as if you have been frozen solid. As if you have been shot in the stomach. You stand there, feeling absolutely nothing, and all you can do is brace yourself for what is to come. Taehyung’s words were the knife but his next actions will be its removal, leaving in its wake an irreparable wound. 
He turns around, casual and cool, voice still hushed. As if you were still asleep. As if you hadn’t heard anything at all. But when he twists his body and sees you standing there, staring back up at him, lips parted in shock. 
“I’ll call you back,” he tells whoever was on the other side of the line, looking more panicked by the second. He opens his mouth so he can explain himself, but you don’t need him to. You’ve heard everything already. 
“I should have known,” you say, feeling angry and betrayed and sad all at once. “I should have known it was all an act.”
“Y/N, wait, let me explain—”
“What is there to tell me, Taehyung? What are you going to say? That you didn’t mean it? That you thought I wouldn’t find out? That last night was just a one-off?” You demand. The heat from your veins hasn’t left. Still, it simmers through your blood, burning you up from the inside out. “That you didn’t want to lie to me?”
“It’s not like that and you know it,” Taehyung says defensively, brows furrowed. “Just give me a chance to explain myself.”
“Explain yourself? How you pretended, every day and every night, just so you could get some more money in your bank account? So you could make sure you would get your father’s business when he died?”
Taehyung bites back easily. “Don’t act like you weren’t also faking it at some point. I know you were almost removed from your grandmother’s will.”
Your tongue is bitter at the mention of your grandmother. As if Taehyung ever even knew her. “My grandmother has nothing to do with this.”
“Really?” Taehyung challenges. “So you wanting to stay in her will was just a little bonus, right?”
“Don’t,” you say sharply. “It’s different.”
“Different how?” Taehyung spits. “Because right now, to me, it looks pretty similar to what I’ve done.”
“My grandmother died months ago,” you remind him. Her will is no longer the question. It has been written, settled, and executed. There was no reason for you to continue playing along once she took her last breath. No reason—unless you wanted to. “Meanwhile you’ve been keeping your inheritance a secret from me this entire time.”
“We made a deal,” Taehyung says. “A deal that said we would both act happy and pretend to be in love because we both had things we needed to worry about. Family things. Money things. You were a part of this, just like I was. You pretended, too.”
“Well, maybe I stopped pretending!” 
You can’t take it anymore. All this anger, all this emptiness, it’s been bubbling up inside you ever since you heard those first words come out of his mouth. It spills out of you all at once, an eruption from your lips, your heart’s doors bursting open. You have held his hand tightly in your own. You have pressed your lips to his. You have laid yourself bare in front of him. What is there left to protect? What part of you has not already been stained by him, by his touch, by the feeling of his fingers against your skin?
The hallway is silent, but you can hear your cry echo down the corridor. Hear the way it bounces along the walls before fading away. 
“Maybe I stopped pretending,” you repeat, softer this time. You blink and already can feel the streaks along your skin, the tears falling from your eyes. “Did you ever think about that?”
“Y/N, what are you talking about?” Taehyung looks like he’s in disbelief. Like he cannot believe the words you are saying to him. 
Well, that makes two of you. 
“Can’t you see, Tae? Can’t you tell?” You ask, the nickname falling from your lips before you can even help it. You must remind yourself to change that, later. “I’m in love with you.”
They are words you have never said to someone before. Not even your old boyfriends. Words that you always knew you would reserve for someone special. Someone who would touch your heart and make it their own, someone who would leave imprints of their fingers against your chest. Someone who would brighten you up from the inside out, leave you bursting with light. 
Ironic, that Taehyung has become that someone. When he is the one person you never thought could. 
When he has proven, time and time again, that you two just cannot mix. Oil and water. Pastel and acrylic. Satin and silk. 
“You don’t have to say anything,” you spit out quickly, before Taehyung has a chance to respond. “I know it doesn’t matter to you.”
“Y/N, yes it does,” Taehyung begins, desperate and pleading. “I know you heard what I said, but I swear, it stopped being an act for me, too. Things are different now, just like you said.”
“Don’t. Please.” You pull away as he reaches out towards you. Faintly, you remember that it is his shirt you are wearing. Remember that no matter what you do, he will always surround you. “Please, Tae.” You have nothing left. You can’t bear to look at him, but where else will you go? You cannot believe the things he’s said, the things he’s done, but where else would you go?
“I love you, too,” Taehyung says, and a part of you wants so badly to believe him. 
A part of you wants so badly to ingrain those words into your head, carve them into your heart, let him wrap his arms around you and promise that everything will be alright. But things are different now. Just like you said. You and Taehyung are not the same people you were six months ago. Or six weeks ago. Or even six minutes ago. You are helpless and he has proven that he does not care. 
“I have to go,” you say, looking away. You don’t think you could handle turning back to him again. “Please, Tae.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung says, and he reaches out once more but you are not there to meet him halfway. Were you ever?
“I know,” you whisper back.
You duck into your bedroom and pack a suitcase of everything you need. Being here is suffocating. Being with him is like setting yourself alight. 
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Victoria has no questions when you show up at her door later that day, suitcase by your side and this ridiculous bottle of Merlot in your hands. You had picked it up on the way over. You sort of figured you might need it. 
“You don’t wanna talk about it, do you?” Victoria asks. 
“Tell me about your streaming service,” you hiccup in response.
Victoria is happy to oblige. She even tells you that she still hasn’t picked a CFO, and that the position would be open for you if you ever wished to take it. 
Funnily enough, what will become of you once your father retires and passes along the company is the furthest away from your thoughts. 
You remember being so worried about that. Being so worried that, once they married you off like every good daughter should be, you would be absorbed into your husband’s life, cut out of your family’s. Your father would choose a cousin, an uncle, or even a friend to take after the business, bestowing upon you a thoughtful inheritance but nothing more than that. All of those years of schooling, finance in college, your MBA soon after, would be wasted, just so you could hang on the arm of your husband for the rest of your life. 
It’s thoughtful of Victoria to think of you for the position. She knows just as well as anyone else that you would be an excellent fit. And if things were just a little bit different, you would be jumping at the offer. 
But your future career plans are on the backburner, along with the rest of your life. 
All you can really do, right now, at this very moment, is wait for things to change. As they always do. 
“Don’t you have an event tonight?” Victoria asks about three days into your stay. She’s given you her favorite (her words, not yours) guest bedroom and an enormous closet to match, despite you only coming over with a carry-on’s worth of clothes. 
You scoff to yourself. “Like I’d want to go to anything with him.”
“Have you even called your parents?” 
“No,” you say, not even caring about the repercussions. There’s no doubt in your mind that they’ll be ringing you soon. And when they do, maybe then you’ll finally work up the courage to tell them what really happened. Tell them that you can’t go back there. Not yet, at least. 
“I’m sorry that this happened to you,” Victoria says as she hands you a bowl of vegetable soup, homemade from a couple of days ago. You nod to yourself, sniffling as you curl into the couch cushions and wish they would absorb you whole. 
There’s no need to ask her what she means by ‘this’. Everything. From your engagement to the marriage, from those tabloids to the deal, from your grandmother’s death to now. It has all been unfair. Life is unfair. And while you’ve always known that, it has been particularly cruel to you as of late. 
Still, when you wake up sometimes, you can still feel him tracing over your skin. Feel his lips hovering over yours, breath fanning out over your cheeks. You turn over and expect to see him lying there, on the right side of the bed, sheets mussed as they cover his figure. You wake up and for a brief moment, for that split, split second, there is peace. And happiness. And love. 
And then there is nothing. 
“Yeah,” you sigh. “Me, too.”
Maybe he really does love you. Maybe things really did change. But you have always been a pragmatic person, always let your head guide you rather than your heart. The secret’s out. Taehyung had an inheritance he needed to secure. You were his path to doing so. Those things haven’t changed. No matter if his feelings did. 
“Hey, look at this,” Victoria says, brows furrowed as she holds out her phone in front of you, revealing a livestreamed interview from the event tonight. 
You peer over. 
It’s Taehyung. 
Of course it’s Taehyung. Who else would she be showing you?
He stands in a clean-cut gray coat, draping over his figure, black dress shirt and slacks underneath, belt wrapped neatly around his hips. He holds his hand up in a wave and smiles politely to the cameras, to the reporters, letting the flashes wash over him like waves in the ocean. 
“Mr. Kim! Mr. Kim!” Someone calls. “Where’s your wife?”
Oh, God.
Taehyung grimaces a little, pursing his lips. “My wife won’t be joining me tonight.”
“Can you tell us why?” They shout. 
“Sorry, no more questions. Thank you for asking though. She’s well,” he says, quickly ushering himself along, entering the venue so no more reporters can bombard him. When he disappears, the livestream immediately moves on to the next guest, but you hardly pay them any attention. 
“Huh,” Victoria says aloud. 
Indeed. Taehyung’s response strikes you as rather odd. Why would he tell the public that? Why not make up a lie, say you’re sick, or you’re overseas, or you’re just late? Why simply tell them that you won’t be there? Surely, Taehyung is just as aware of the consequences of arriving at an event without you as you are. There’s no doubt that his parents will be in contact with him soon, too. No doubt that this will leave a stain on his family. His image. It might even threaten his inheritance after all.
So why not lie?
You frown to yourself, nose scrunching up in confusion. You don’t like where this train of thought leads.
“You okay?” Victoria asks when she sees the bewildered expression on your face.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” you say. Just completely befuddled. It escapes you, why Taehyung wouldn’t just make up some sort of excuse as to reasoning behind your absence. Why he would even show up at the event at all. Certainly, going to the event without you is worse than not going at all. It prompts questions. It spreads rumors. 
Later that night, you get a call from your parents, demanding to know why you weren’t there with him. You say you got sick. You plead with them not to question anything. 
You wonder what happens next. You and Taehyung still have two more events this week. A dinner and a ball. What will you do then?
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Taehyung goes solo for the dinner. You suppose you could have predicted that, considering his apparent willingness to arrive alone for the first event, too. He hasn’t made any efforts to contact you and for once, you’re glad for his silence. Not that you even know what he would say to you, anyway, but at least he isn’t begging you to come back to him. 
The sad truth is that if he did, if he got down on his knees right in front of you and willed you to come back home, you probably would. He has always been impossible to resist. Even when you first met him, when he sauntered up towards you and told you he was your dream come true. You didn’t know it then. But he was. He was everything you would ever want. 
Why would he lie? 
Why would he do that?
You can’t wrap your head around it. What is he getting out of it by telling the truth? By admitting to the paparazzi, to the reporters and the cameramen, that you won’t be there with him. That you will not be joining him. Nothing, certainly. His parents must be furious. His inheritance may be on the rocks. His image might tank. 
So then, why do it at all?
Could it… could it be?
Is it true?
You have loved Taehyung for a long time. Longer than you probably even care to admit. You have always held your head high at events, spoken loudly and without fear, but being with him made you feel safe. Secure. You would hold his hand and know, know that he was holding yours, too. It grounded you. It soothed your worries. 
Does he really love you back?
Taehyung smiles politely and laughs when he needs to at these events, but he doesn’t look the same. Even through the screen you can see those bags under his eyes, that spark that has faded. You hardly recognize him. He looks so lonely, without someone by his side. So distant. 
When you know the dinner has ended, you almost pick up the phone and call him. 
Almost. 
Instead, when the ball rolls around, you ask Victoria if she’s got a spare dress she can lend you.
 Kim Taehyung, for someone you have seen covered in paint splotches, wearing old college hoodies, and fresh out of a restless night’s sleep, cleans up pretty well. For a married man, at least. 
You wonder what the past few days must have been like for him. If they have been as empty as your own. Wonder what it was like, riding alone in a big black van to this hotel ballroom, no one to tease, no one to laugh with, no one to hold. No one to poke him awake if he accidentally fell asleep. No one to make sure he’s okay. 
Taehyung stands right outside of the entrance, waving politely to all of the paparazzi, smiling as the cameras flash, giving them the time of day for a moment before he heads inside and muscles his way through another event without you. 
Or so he thinks. 
You spot him just as he opens his mouth, ready to repeat those same lines all over again.
My wife won’t be joining me tonight. She’s well, though.
And maybe it’s just because you haven’t seen him in nearly a week. Maybe it’s just because he is about to lie to those reporters once more, ready to face whatever consequences come his way. 
Or maybe it’s just because you miss him. Miss him terribly, have been missing him terribly. Being away from him was necessary, but that didn’t make it any less unbearable. Not getting to hold his hand, see his smile, meet his eyes. You and Taehyung may not have always liked each other, but you saw him every day regardless. He became a constant in your life. Not an if, but a when. If everything went to shit, you always knew he would still be there. 
And there he is. 
“Wait! Taehyung!”
Taehyung’s eyes widen as he hears your voice, gaze darting around wildly, mouth parted in surprise. He looks around desperately, scanning the crowd, meeting the eyes of every single person in front of him until he finally looks to the left, sees you rushing up towards him, hiking up the skirt of your dress as your heels tap against the sidewalk. 
And when he spots you, sees you running up to him, his body relaxes, a weight lifted from his shoulders as he beams back at you, relieved and thankful and filled with joy, all at once. And you know, then. 
You know that everything will be okay. 
“Sorry I’m late,” you say sheepishly, cheeks burning as he looks at you, takes in every inch of you, breathes you in and lets you fill him up. 
Taehyung doesn’t respond. You reach out to hold his hand but he grabs your wrist and pulls you in, presses you against his body as he presses his hands against your cheeks, palms burning as they meet your skin, and he kisses you. In front of all these people, he kisses you. 
And goddamnit, you will kiss him back. 
It feels like lightning, like a thunderstorm, like the waves of the ocean are crashing against your heart. It feels like fire, like flames are licking at your veins, sending sparks through your blood. It feels like home. 
You and Taehyung ignore the shouts of reporters, the flashes of cameras, the honks of the cars on the other side of the road. When you part, he presses his forehead against yours and lets the tip of your nose meet his. And you smile. 
“Don’t be alone any longer, Mr. Kim,” you whisper, loud enough so only he can hear. 
“When I’m with you, I never am, Mrs. Kim,” he murmurs back. 
You wonder what those tabloids will be saying about you tomorrow. 
The rest of the night finds the two of you pretty much inseparable. You wrap yourself around his arm and for the first time in a long time, he presses his hand against the small of your back, keeping you close. Like he’d ever lose you again. 
One of your least favorite parts about attending balls used to be the dancing. As a young and eligible bachelorette, you would always have to lock hands with another, let him awkwardly guide you along to the music as you made the worst small talk imaginable, forcing laughter and smiles whenever he said something he thought was particularly funny. 
But, like so many others, things have changed. Things are different now. 
The waltz comes on and you and Taehyung are the first to reach the center of the ballroom floor, letting him rest his hand on your waist as you press yours on top of his shoulder. Let him twirl you around the room as the orchestra plays in the background, a soft, sweet, light little melody that carries you along. 
“I missed this,” you say softly. 
“I missed us,” Taehyung corrects. He pauses for a moment, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry for not telling you about my inheritance.”
“I’m sorry for storming out. I should have listened to you.” you respond easily. You both have plenty to apologize for. But night is darkest right before dawn. 
“I should have said something,” Taehyung says with a shake of his head. “But I was just so—so worried that something would go wrong. And I didn’t know how to explain how I felt about you. I acted in the beginning, too, but then things changed.”
“They always do,” you muse with a grin. 
“I couldn’t believe I had you,” Taehyung admits. “I mean, look at you. You’re gorgeous. And funny. And true.”
“Go on,” you tease, even though you do nothing to hide the smile inching its way across your face, the heating of your cheeks, the simmering of your skin. 
“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean.” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I just—I felt something for you I couldn’t explain. I still can’t.”
You don’t have to prod any further. You know. Deep within your heart, you know. There is love blossoming in his to match the garden that has bloomed in your own. The flowers that have sprouted in the ashes. He has them, too. And when those petals open and the light streams in, he will know. He will know, too. 
“You make me crazy,” you tell him, whispering gently into his skin. “But I’m a better person when I’m with you. I know I am.”
“I meant what I said, that night,” Taehyung says. Makes you wonder which night he’s actually talking about. “That I’m happy that things have changed. That things happened the way they did. I’m grateful for us.”
“I am, too,” you say. And you are. 
You rest your head against his chest as you dance together, swaying back and forth to the beat of the drums, to the strums of the violins, all wrapped up together like ivy, like vines. Those, too, sit in that garden of yours. Keep you tethered to his side, keep him close to yours. He holds you in his arms and he smiles, because he knows, too. Knows that that garden in your heart will soon have a matching one in his. A mirror image of who you are. Who you’ve become. 
Things change. They always will. But so long as he is by your side, and so long as you are by his, you know. Everything will be okay. 
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It's different, this time, when Taehyung presses you into the mattress. 
There is no rush. Because now you know for certain that all the time in the world is yours. He is yours forever. You are his.
The two of you are a mixture of tangled limbs and shared breaths, the feverish, irrepressible need to give yourself to each other nearly tangible. He breaks the kiss suddenly, and you’re about to break out in protest. That is, until you see him unbuttoning his shirt.
Inspired, you wiggle out of your own clothes, eyes locked on Taehyung's soft torso and the idea that you had married such a beautiful man, inside and out.
Looking back, you wonder if that was always inevitable. If you and Taehyung falling into each other had been written in the stars from day one, sealed as your fate from the moment he came up to you at that ball when you were teenagers. He was going to be a part of your life no matter what. Whether or not you ended up marrying him. But having him like this?
It makes it all worth it.
"Do you like what you see?" That old cocky smirk of his makes an appearance.
You raise a brow, choosing to omit a response as you unclasp your bra, letting it fall from your chest.
Taehyung swallows.
"Do you?" You tease.
His response comes in the form of bites down your necks and licks down your chest, stealing your breath from you. 
Your clothes are somewhere dispelled beside your passionate bodies, growing cold beside the way your two hot bodies warmed one another.
"You are so beautiful," Taehyung praises, fingers coming up to cup your breast, bringing it up to his mouth.
You mewl, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as his tongue toys with your pert bud, teeth grazing it ever so often just to hear the broken gasp that'd always follow. 
"And so sensitive too," he giggles, making you pout. His hands are gentle as if every touch means something. As if you mean something—no, everything—to him. And the most wonderful part is that he means everything to you, too. 
"Shut up." You roll your eyes playfully, gasping as his palm comes down the side of your thigh suddenly in warning. You bite down your swollen bottom lip at the gush of arousal that dampened your underwear in response.
"Watch your tone, love. Of both our positions, you are in the most compromising one." He reminds you. It isn't a threat, and while usually, that kind of tone would thrill you, you couldn't help but want his mouth back on yours already.
"You talk too much." You flop back onto the bed with a sigh. Taehyung watches with interest as your pretty tits bounce in consequence. Extending your hands out towards him, you give him a pouty look. "Just wanna kiss you."
"Is that all I am to you? Just a pair of lips for you to mack on? I've got news for you, sweetheart, there's a brain behind these ravishing good looks." He scoffs in feigned offense, sitting back on his heels.
You giggle.
It seems as though even during the most intimate of moments, Taehyung still found a way to be, well, Taehyung. At least that hasn’t changed. 
"Whatever, pretty boy. Why don't you come over here and put that mouth of yours to good use?" You purr, making his eyebrows raise in surprise.
"Oh? I don't remember you being this assertive when I was pounding you into the mattress last time."
“What, I can’t have a little fun as well?” You tease, grinning as you look up at him, raking your eyes over his figure. 
"Wanna have fun, love?," He murmurs into your ears, hands gripping either of your plush thighs. "Then spread those pretty legs for me, and I'll show you exactly how much fun you can have."
God, you love this man.
You oblige eagerly, breath quickening as he helped you press your knees by your chest, leaving the wet patch in your underwear on full display. 
"My pretty little wife." He sighs dreamily, making heat rush to your core.
Taehyung's cock stood loud and proud, a hot reminder of where the night would eventually lead to. Seriously, how did you get so lucky? You must've been a saint in a previous life, you decide right then. Or at least, the stars have chosen to be rather kind to you in this one.
"Gonna take these off," he mutters, mostly to himself, tugging the ruined fabric over your ass and down your legs, with your help, of course.
Despite your usual display of confidence, lying beneath your husband, spread out like this, has you feeling vulnerable and slightly insecure. But that insecurity vanishes, however, as he lets out a soft moan, fingers moving to spread your glossed lips apart.
"So fucking pretty, baby. Gonna make you feel so fucking good," he groans, leaning down to press his face near your most intimate part.
Pressing a tentatively lick against, his eyes flicker up to yourself, curious to see if you’re okay with him proceeding. And, well, it’s not like you’re going to say no, are you?
Embarrassingly, you rut against him, making him laugh as you drown in your own mortification.
"Need it that bad, huh?" He coos.
"Yes, please."
The rest of your plea is lost in a moan as Taehyung finds your clit, wrapping his pink lips around the sensitive muscle and giving it a generous suck. Your hands are in his hair before you can think to stop yourself, tugging at his scalp deliciously as his mouth makes its way with you.
Thank goodness for this apartment belonging to just the two of you as the noises that tumbled from your lips surely would've left a roommate blushing.
You're panting, begging for more even though you aren't sure how you'd even handle more. It comes as a delight and slight surprise as fingers suddenly slip inside, wasting no time to rub against your velvety smooth walls, curling themselves inside you.
"Fuck, Tae!" you cry out, eyes squeezing shut.
It was pure reflex. Up until now, you had been watching Taehyung intently, completely consumed by the way his mouth moves against you. How his tongue flicks against your needy clit cruelly. It just felt too fucking good.
You're so wet, positively dripping down his chin as he runs his hot muscle up and down the length of your pussy, devouring you like he hadn't eaten in months, and you were his first meal.
Taehyung’s nothing short of addicting, completely and utterly intoxicating, and you slip further and further to your demise with every lick he takes, every press of his tongue against your clit.
He has a hand pressed against the lower half of your torso, feeling the way you jerk and squirm as he makes a mess of you. You’re close and you know it, too, if not by the way you’re calling his name over and over again, then by the way your thighs tremble, hardly even strong enough to stay up.
"Let go for me, love. I've got you." He sounds so sweet, so angelic, despite how filthy what he was doing to you was.
His words are the push you need, and, like a rubber band that has been stretched past its limit, you finally snap, back arching off the bed as you come with a cry. White fills your vision, and your mind goes blank, only sounds of blissful static filling your ears.
His fingers hold up your quivering legs, mouth pressing kisses onto your pussy encouragingly until you simply can't bear it any longer, pushing his mouth away as you stutter out words of sensitivity and overstimulation.
“I’m going to have to request more of that throughout this marriage.” You manage to say once your vision and breath come back to you.
Grabbing one of your hands, Taehyung brings it to his mouth.
“All you need do is ask,” he replies, making you laugh as he presses a kiss to the back of your hand, always a gentleman
Not long after, you find yourself pressed against Taehyung, tongue running against his as he presses his hips into yours. He isn’t coy about his want for you, rolling his cock against your already sensitive center. Warm precum leaks onto your lower abdomen, and suddenly, all you can think about is having him inside you again.
“Taehyung?”
You don’t even need to ask. Hitching your leg around his thigh, he knows exactly what you’re seeking, lining up his leaking cock with your swollen entrance.
Pressing into you, he buries himself to the hilt, groaning out as your warmth envelopes him. You moan out so prettily for him, feeling tight and full with your first orgasm only minutes ago.
“You okay?” he hums, kissing your cheek.
You nod, ears warm at the intimacy of the moment. In many ways, this is nothing like your first time together. You are face to face, eye to eye, heart to heart. Between your bodies could be found more than just desire, but commitment. Devotion. Love. 
“I love you, Tae.” You gush, sighing out as he begins to rock into you.
He falters slightly at your confession but recovers quickly, intertwining his hand with yours and pressing it by your head.
Faintly, you realize. 
That was the first time you had ever told him that.
You look up at him, expecting some wide eyes or even a bit of a nervous tilt to his lips, but all you are met with is a glow. He beams down at you, and your heart swells. 
“I love you, too, Y/N,” he whispers, but you hear the words in your ears loud and clear.
Soft noises fill the room as the two of you become one—hearts synchronizing with one another in silent promise.
It was a promise unlike the one you had made to each other that day at the altar, for this one was real. This one was true.
You shutter with every thrust of his hips, your abused clit finding itself in the crossfire of Taehyung’s passionate motions.
Whimpering, you cling to him, overwhelmed and emotional, like your heart was about to burst. Taehyung lights a fire in you, sends lightning straight through your core. Every word, every smile, every kiss, every touch, they send shivers down your spine, tingles throughout your skin. It’s like you’re falling in love with him all over whenever you see him, whenever his deep brown eyes meet your own.
You remember being so afraid of love that you broke up with all your old boyfriends because of it. Because you couldn’t commit, because you were worried about your career, because they just didn’t give you that spark. But lying here pressed against him, against your husband, you aren’t afraid. Wrapped up around him, tangled up in him, you know. 
Between messy kisses and words of adoration, you find yourself growing closer and closer to your release. Brows furrowed and neck flushed, you come with a soft whimper of his name, coaxing his own orgasm out of him. He lets go inside you, painting you with his seed in a way that pleases you to no end.
Hand still in yours, he gives it a squeeze, pressing a kiss onto your damp chest, right over where your heart beats for him.
“I love you,” Taehyung says again when you meet his eyes, firmer this time, louder. Like he’s worried you didn’t believe him the first time. 
“I know,” you say with a giggle, the words going straight to your head—and your heart. 
Taehyung scowls. “What, no ‘I love you’ back? Is that what I’m hearing?”
“Well, only because you want one so badly,” you tease, pressing a quick kiss to his round button nose. “I love you, too, Tae. Always will.”
“I think I knew, then,” Taehyung says with a fond sigh, nostalgia overcoming his expression. “That first time we met. I knew you would be mine, one day.”
“You got lucky,” you scoff slightly. “But I’m glad things happened the way they did.”
“You’re my dream come true, Y/N,” he says. 
“And you are mine,” you murmur.
As the two of you drift off, all twisted up in each other, so mixed up you can’t figure out where you end and he begins, you think back to that night. That ball. 
“Who are you?” You ask, nose scrunched up in distaste. Before you stood a boy you had never met before, wearing shoes that were too big for him and a suit that was a touch too small. 
He grins at you, running a hand through his perfectly-styled hair fringe swiped neatly over his forehead, and he says, “your dream come true.”
And so it was. 
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don’t forget to message me! ~ and don’t forget to message rose!
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couldyouspeakmyname · 3 years
Note
Shishigumi and the reader who has adopted children
You know I'm a sucker for blended families
-Maeve
Ibuki
Already is kind of a dad to the rest of the Shishigumi and Louis
While Ibuki is initially really nervous about adopting a child, as soon as they hold them, all his fears melt away.
If they’re an older child, he’ll let them call him by his name if that’s more comfortable. He doesn’t have to be called “dad” to be a parental figure. 
Ibuki is very supportive of his child, and has a lot of patience. 
Ibuki may actually be prone to adopting a child out of the baby stage. He may even adopt an older child who just needs a home (even if they’re almost of legal age to live on their own).
Ibuki would be great with troubled kids. He has the patience of a saint, and has seen a lot of bad in the world, and been a lot of that bad.
Ibuki allows the child to adjust at their own pace, and never pushes them to fit or meet a standard,
Ibuki cooks for them, and listens when they talk. 
Ibuki wants them to be comfortable, always. 
He enrolls them in the best school he can, and goes to every major event. 
He allows them to style their own room, even if he doesn’t always understand what they like. 
He’s adamant that at least three nights a week you all have a family dinner. 
He tries his best to help with homework or any problems they may have. 
Free
Free is freaked out at the idea of adopting a kid. It probably takes a few years for him to be comfortable with the idea.
Honestly? He’s just worried he’s going to be a terrible father. He’s already kind of a menace, he’s not even sure why you’re still with him.
Then again, Louis turned out great and Free likes to think he had a hand in that. 
After some time he finally comes around to the idea. Why not? He can do this. 
When Free and you adopt a child, it’s probably going to be an infant or a younger child. 
It only takes a few hours before Free is a doting father figure, and labels your new child as ‘His’.
Free loves playing games with his kid. If they’re a toddler when you two adopt them, he’s probably going to go crazy at the toy store with them (who needs ten nerf guns?). Free had it rough growing up, he wants his kid to have the childhood he didn’t get to have.
Free isn’t great at homework, but he tries.
Free teaches them self defense early on, just to make sure they can protect themselves when he isn’t around
That dad that plays any game his kid comes up with, and makes forts out of blankets and pillows. 
Dolph
Dolph is actually on board with the idea of adoption
I could see Dolph adopting an older kid, maybe even a pre-teen or teenager. They’re more difficult than a younger child, but Dolph is okay with that. He’s patient, and knows how wild kids can be. He was in a gang, there’s not much trouble a kid could cause that would come anywhere near the trouble he dealt with in the gang
Dolph is big on education, keeping his child in school and having them graduate is important. 
Dolph is calm and collected, and he listens and gives advice where it’s needed.
If he did adopt an older kid, he’s okay with working with a phycologist. Sometimes you just have to talk without worrying about getting in trouble.
Dolph wants his kid to always feel safe and secure. They will always have a room and a place to come home to. 
If they’re worried about someone taking their stuff, Dolph will install a lock on their door. This way they can lock the door and have peace of mind. It is their room. Dolph isn’t going to take things from them.
Same thing with food. If they’re more comfortable keeping snacks and need a mini fridge so they know they wont go hungry, he’ll do what he has to to make them feel secure 
Helps with homework and attends school events. 
 Doesn’t hold his kid to unfairly high standards. If they get a ‘C’, he’s fine with that, as long as they gave it their all.
He’s strict, and has rules. Don’t be out late, don’t do drugs, have dinner with the parents at least twice a week, homework before video games. It’s basic rules, but he’s ridged about them. In a way, that gives his child structure. 
They don’t have to call him dad, but if they do it makes him all emotional
Makes them ask you before they do something
“Dad can I-” 
“Go ask Y/N”
Agata
Agata would probably do best adopting a small child or a baby
He has a lot of anxiety, and he’d do better parenting a kid from the beginning 
Agata raises his child with his whole heart. It doesn’t matter that they were adopted, there’s no question that Agata would die for his child. 
Agata puts the needs of his child above his own, without question. 
Agata is honest when his kid asks if he’s adopted. Agata isn’t going to hide that from them. He will answer any questions they have, and let them know that you don’t have to be blood related to love someone
Agata is that ‘cool’ dad that plays video games with his kid. Agata lets them win.
Agata also beats any levels they get stuck on. 
Agata doesn’t like the PTA, but will go to all school events, and is there for all milestones
Agata tries his best to make sure his child is confident in themselves, and knows that Agata will always be there to back them up
Agata is kind of a softie, you’re going to have to be the rule enforcer
Not to say Agata can’t get strict, he can, but he doesn’t want to
Agata will always make sure his child knows their home is a safe place to go to
If his child ever wants to know their biological parents, Agata will help them. 
Miguel
Age doesn’t matter for Miguel. He’s willing to take any kid that needs him, and is a good fit for you two
He quickly establishes a healthy lifestyle. He wants them to live a long time, and fuel their body properly 
Cooking may actually be how he bonds with them initially, if they’re older. If they’re really little, he’ll bake cookies with them
Miguel is at all school events, and may even be part of the PTA
Miguel may be pretty quiet, but he’s not one to hold back praise when a child does something good. He’s big on positive reinforcement
Rarely raises his voice. Instead, he talks everything out.
He’s very patient, and quickly learns his adopted child’s personality, and adjusts accordingly
That big beefy dad that’s having tea/playing pretend with his child
He can and will switch his child out of a class if a teacher is unfair. A lot of adopted children may have a hard time adjusting, and not all teachers know how to handle that. If they can’t, Miguel will find someone who does. 
Miguel is going to be overprotective of his child. He chose to adopt his child, and it’s his job as a father to make sure his child thrives. He’s not going to allow anyone to drag his kid down the path Miguel himself once walked.
Miguel is that dad that doesn’t talk a lot, but you can talk about anything with. It doesn’t matter what it is, he’s going to listen. 
Sabu
Sabu doesn’t care about age when he adopts a kid. He would be prone to adopting a child that’s mute or deaf, or a child with another disability. 
I have a headcanon that Sabu doesn’t talk much, but knows sign language.  
He’s also very quiet and patient,  and not much phases him. He’s also very flexible, and is willing to make big changes if that’s what his child needs
Sabu is also very involved with schooling, even if most of the staff find him unnerving. It doesn’t take long for them to warm up to him though. Sabu has a good heart, even if he makes a bad first impression. 
Sabu helps with homework, and is fine with taking breaks and coming back if his child becomes frustrated. 
He will totally get a side car for his motorcycle 
If the kid he adopts doesn’t know sign language, Sabu teaches them.
Sabu loves for his child to be passionate about their hobbies. 
Sabu likes it when his child expresses themselves, even if it’s not always traditionally.
If Sabu has a kid, and they want to do his mane, he’ll let them. He doesn’t even mind going out in public with it if his child is particularly proud of it.
Never is afraid of telling his child he loves them, or that he’s proud of them.
Jinma
Jinma would do better adopting a child that was a smidge older.
He does a lot of research before adoption, and tries to find information on what to do, what you two need, and problems that may come up
If they are older, Jinma is going to get them a psychologist if they need one. If they’ve been in the system for a while, they may need a third party to talk to
Jinma is also going to make sure his child has no siblings out there. If they do, he’s going to do his best to reunite them. If they’re not adopted yet, expect Jinma to try and adopt them as well.
Jinma is big on school, so he tries to learn what kind of schooling works best for his child. Are they a tactile learner? A reader? Once he knows, he works in that learning preference for homework. 
Jinma is great at communicating with his adopted child, even if they aren’t a great talker. 
Jinma doesn’t need his child to call him dad, but if they do, he’ll be thrilled.
Dope
Dope could adopt any age of child and be happy
Dope is great at reading body language, so it’s easy for him to understand what is child is saying, even if they don’t want to talk initially. 
Dope is also very big on schooling, but he tries to find a school his child is comfortable with.
If his child was close with their foster parents, Dope is fine keeping them in their lives if they’re also okay with it. 
Dope reads to his kid every night. He will also never say ‘no’ if they want books from a store (but they have to be paperback)
Dope is the dad who will le their kid crawl into bed if they have a bad dream. He also gets up so you can sleep. 
Dope finds the best way to communicate with his kid, and loves spending time with them. 
Dope is what teachers fear. Parent teach night involves Dope trying to figure out lesson plans, accuracies in education, and making sure his child is set up to succeed. He’s both a pain in the ass for the teacher, and a blessing, since he will always be there if they need chaperones or any other volunteers. 
Hino
Hino would rather adopt a child that’s younger, but they don’t have to be a baby (he’s fine if they are though)
Hino puts all his love into his child. It doesn’t matter that they’re adopted, they’re his
Hino loves styling his child, but is fine when they pick out their own outfits (even if it hurts his inner fashionista)
Loves doing family activities with all of you together
If they have a nightmare, and need dad to be there, he’s going to fall asleep in their room
That dad that has waaayyyy too many pictures of his child. He screensaver is you and your child.
Hino is always there for any event, but avoids the PTA. 
That being said, he will volunteer for events, and weaponize his good looks. 
Builds up his child’s self-esteem. No matter what species they are, they’re beautiful. Not only that, but they’re smart and capable. Hino wants them to know there’s so much more besides looks. 
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astaroth1357 · 4 years
Text
Demon Brothers being Soft for Their Daughters 
Might just be me but I think there's nothing cuter than a Dad who loves his daughter so I made a hc for our boys. Strap in, it’s a long one! 
IMPORTANT! Watch out for first half spoilers! Assumed that the child is a half human/half demon with the MC!
Lucifer
Tries to be really strict but ends up being kind of a pushover.
Oh there ARE rules that even his little girl can't break, but most of the time she can get away with almost anything if she's cute clever enough.
Pushes her to be the best at almost anything she tries, expectations be real high; gonna take the MC stepping in to remind him winning isn't everything and please cool it on the pressure.
Lowkey learned his lesson before and doesn't want to make another Satan situation so tries to take MC's advice to heart and not be quite so controlling.
Her favorite uncle is Mammon and he gets cold sweats about this every night.
Wasn't able to be there for a lot of her firsts due to work and gets real sulky when he misses out. Videos just don't offer the same experience...
Feels bad that work keeps him so busy so he tries to make up for it with toys, clothes, jewelry, pretty much whatever she likes at the time.
Would never admit it, but his black heart melts every time he comes home and sees she's excitedly waiting by the door.
One of those parents who will never stop bragging about how amazing their kid is to anyone who will listen, but never when she's in the same room.
100% that overprotective "I'm going to give you a brief tour of the torture chamber, then we’ll browse my whip collection. Oh, make sure she's home by 8" kind of dad if she were to ever bring home a date. They will know that his baby is not to be messed with (like anyone's crazy enough to try honestly).
Mammon
So over the goddamn moon that someone actually wanted to have a kid with him that he couldn't shut up about it for weeks.
Treasures his little girl more than anything he owns, even Goldie. When she's a baby the two of them are practically inseparable.
The biggest pushover to ever be pushed. She's about the only person he's ever unconditionally generous to and he really spoils her rotten.
She's just as materialistic as her father, honestly, but MC made sure their girl was raised with good morals. The first of which being no stealing. Ever. She works for every cent she spends.
On the one hand, he's actually pretty damn proud and relieved that she won't be called "scum" or anything like her father, but on the other hand like… Ew. Who raised you? (No one remind him it’s kind of his doing anyway).
For once in his greedy existence, he can tell a sob story about really needing that loan or those shoes for his beloved daughter and actually mean it… most of the time 😏
Even when she's young, though, she will ask him if a gift he's giving her was taken from someone else and, man, he cannot lie to her face. People shame him for stealing all the time but the little look of disappointment she gives him hurts WAY more than all of his brothers’ insults combined.
Probably one of the most supportive and involved dads in existence. He will be at every game, every recital, every meet. Even if he's complaining the whole time, if anyone so much as suggests that he just shouldn't go he'd be appalled.
…. He's perhaps a little too involved because he's also totally the kind of father who will lowkey stalk his daughter's dates to be sure nothing bad happens. MC, please step in. She needs privacy too.
Leviathan
Was incredibly worried about having a kid, he's not even had the best track record when it comes to pets and parenting is some high-level normie stuff. But his little girl's first smile absolutely melted his doubts away.
That being said… he's still not the greatest with little kids. For a long time if the baby so much as sneezed unexpectedly he'd start shouting for the MC and checking every website he can like??? My half demon baby won't stop sneezing, is it pneumonia???
Gets a lot less panicky as the child gets older, but in those early years he'd practically want to stick them in a bubble wrap suit.
He passed on his love of the ocean and underwater creatures pretty early on. The running joke is that his girl knew how to swim before she knew how to crawl.
Family aquarium trips are an absolute must.
The second they're old enough to understand plot he's introducing them to his favorite shows, but only the best (and most child-friendly) ones of course. He wants his daughter to grow into a woman of culture, damnit! Pop culture that is.
Sooo much text/chat lingo between these two. It's not her fault really. She was bound to pick it up but man can it sound like they're speaking tongues at times.
With practice she can and will beat her old man at most video games and, yes, it makes his cry tears of equal parts pride and aggravation.
Has a mini-panic attack every time she hits a new milestone, like, yes he's so fucking proud but also don't you think she's growing up too fast??? MY BABY GIRL!!! 😭😭😭
Cries like a baby to the MC when she goes out on her first date because he realized she's really, truly, growing up and he's afraid his little girl isn't going to want to spend time with her lame old dad anymore.
Satan
Tries to be strict and IS strict but mostly on schoolwork.
Her grades best not be slippin' or this Book Papa will take all her stuff away. End of discussion.
Otherwise, he's surprisingly chill being the Avatar of Wrath and all. He of all people understands the desire to just have your own life and do your own thing.
She'll inherit his temper though, that's a given, and if they both get going then watch out. Fights between them can get verbally explosive, but never physical. Even at his angriest Satan would never once lay a hand on his daughter.
Read to her every night when she was young: storybooks, novels, mythologies, didn't matter to him. Whatever she wanted to hear. Still, he was so proud the day she told him that she wanted to read on her own.
100% makes nearly everything in life a teachable lesson but also helps her when she needs it. He wants her to forge her own path but is still very supportive when the situation calls for it.
Would never EVER admit it, but he does just as many dad jokes as Lucifer.
Of all the brothers, he's probably the most typical father to have, there for his kid just enough while also making sure they're not getting away with murder.
Is totally chill with her dating because he knows he doesn’t have to be super protective of her. She can more than handle herself if something goes wrong, in fact, if he were to step in it would probably add insult to their already grievance injury.
That being said, he IS the Avatar of Wrath. If someone hurts his girl he’s going to have a turn one way or another.
Asmodeus
Oh YEEESSS, he's not normally the commitment kind of guy but he and MC raising a child? They'd be the most gorgeous thing in the universe!!! (Not counting himself of course)
Beautifying his baby since day one, but the MC keeps him from doing anything too extreme. A lot of baths, good moisturizer, hairstyling (when she grows enough of it), etc.
Soooo many outfits. She'll practically never wear the same thing twice and Asmo coordinates his own clothes to match hers all the time.
He actually goes out and parties LESS if you can believe it, especially when she's young and needs a lot of supervision. But he'll get pent up real quick so learning how to do a quiet quickie during naptime is a must.
His girl is all over his Devilgram, nearly every milestone is snapped up and recorded. He loves her more than anything and would just scream about his pride and joy from the rooftops if social media didn't provide him that outlet.
Makes sure his daughter knows that she is gorgeous, she is loved, and passes on every bit of self-confidence he has. Doesn't matter if she grows up a girly-girl, tomboy, or anything else under the sun. When you're feeling good just being you, heads will turn on their own accord!
Not the best at discipline and would only really step in if he thinks she's being a real jerk about something. Day to day attitude adjustments are totally up to the MC.
He is, however, the best sex-ed teacher one could ever ask for and makes sure his daughter knows there's no shame in what comes natural, just be sure you're respectful and responsible!
Completely unfazed when the suitors began lining up, I mean she is HIS daughter. It was inevitable. Offers tips and advice when he can but lets her go off and experiment naturally. Young love is a beautiful thing! (Just don't break his girl's heart though because he may lowkey curse your whole bloodline)
Beelzebub 
….. MC, you're going to be eaten out of house and home.
Though his daughter's appetite isn't AS bad as his, Beel could tell it's going to be an issue from day one but he's ready for it.
Dedicates his freaking life to being sure she never goes one night hungry. He'll cook, he'll shop, he'll even share from his own plate if he has to. The thought of her going through anywhere near the level of starvation he feels on a daily basis is enough to crush his soul (if he has one)
You better bet there will be eating competitions. She never wins, but the fact she can even get close will have him grinning anyway.
That being said, he will push for a healthy and active lifestyle for her too. 
Highkey wants her playing sports and doing team activities because he genuinely thinks it will help her stay healthy and make friends.
Just the right amount of discipline. Tries to be understanding but also knows when to call a spade, a spade and express his disapproval.
Very in-tune to her emotions and her needs even if he can’t quite grasp WHY she's feeling the way she is. Keeping up with teen drama is going to be the bane of his existence...
Uncle Belphie=That one cool uncle who lets you get away with anything and probably gives out sugar after bedtime.
One of the only brothers who makes a point of his daughter also seeing and exploring her human heritage too and not just treating her like a pseudo-demon… And it's totally not just for the added excuse of sampling human world cuisine, like, come on who do you take him for? 🤫
Somewhat cautious about her dating, but ultimately just wants her to be happy. He'll usually trust her judgment but he's pretty good at reading someone's character and if he gets real bad vibes from anyone he's not above telling her, "No. Not that one." Whether or not he's listened to depends on the situation.
Belphegor
Lol MC, you could have picked a much better choice. Borderline Deadbeat/Cool Dad here!
Kids… not his thing. He doesn't dislike them exactly, they're just a lot of work and he's sort of allergic to that. He's more of a semi-irresponsible babysitter type.
Case in point, "Belphie, watch the baby" becomes "Belphie, if you're going to take a nap at least hold onto her leg so she doesn't go anywhere."
Only saving grace is she takes after him so most days she's pretty dang sleepy too. Naptime is a good third of the daily routine (not that anyone is complaining).
Shit at discipline because, like, what leg does he have to stand on? If she wants to ditch class, why not let her? Once or twice ain't that bad.
Takes her on a lot of "field trips" to the human world like he would with Lilith. Genuinely wants her to experience both sides of her identity and encourages her to explore her human side just as much as her demon.
The kind of chill dad that you feel comfortable going to when you've got to talk out a problem or need life advice. He might not be able to offer many answers, but he tries in his own way.
Will prank his kid and will not feel sorry, but is never cruel about it. In fact, this will only spur on a mutual prank war between the two.
Uncle Beel=that genuinely nice uncle who tries to teach you life lessons and how to take care of yourself… while also eating a ton of food.
Would be super confused at first if she started dating like?? How? He kind of sees her like a mini-him at times and his human came to him. Since when did she stay awake long enough to leave the house?? But otherwise he goes with the flow. Whatever she wants, her life.
He might get a bit more agitated if she starts to date a human, like, lowkey bad flashbacks to the whole Lilith situation and the MC would probably have to cool his jets about it. Different circumstances after all.
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Text
Being Adopted by the Order
~ Growing up in the Order was interesting. You were a new Polymorph Changeling discovered later in life after an accident happened with the paperwork and placement. You slipped through the cracks and sadly you had no idea what you were until recently.
~ Joining the Order as a teen, Strickler was your designated mentor since you lived in Arcadia and went to his highschool. He was to catch you up on everything you'd missed and help with any of your issues. Nomura and Otto part of Stricklers teams were higher ups you were to report too if Stricklander was busy. You weren't supposed too work yet and they were just there to answer your questions and prepare you for life later on.
~ Changelings by nature are protective of their young and you being younger than them it took a lot of self control not to baby you. That self control was gone by your first week in the Order. It seemed you'd been adopted by the group.
~ Father or Dad Strickler, Papa/Uncle Otto, and Wine Aunt Nomura. It was strange at first but it quickly became normal and you enjoyed being spoiled by the three.
~ When you began "working" at the Order your jobs were kept small and controlled. The Changelings want to keep your information filtered and protected. It's mostly just mild paperwork and learning how all the machines work.
~ They were quiet about the darker parts of the Order doing their best to slowly ease you into it. You may be older but you aren't old enough to know the full truth yet or anything about Gunmars coming. As much as Otto wants to tell you hoping you'll become a Gunmar enthusiast like him Nomura and Strickler persuade him to keep it a secret a little longer.
~ Strickler is in charge of your indoctrination into the Order and adjusting you to living a double life. He also handles a lot of your emotional needs and is a therapist as well as a mentor. Nomura is responsible for your more physical needs. She handles training and controlling your troll side. As a changeling you must know how to fight, people out there will try and hurt you, she wants you prepared for when they can't help you. Otto handles a lot of the paperwork and contacts for the Order but he helps you with your polymorph abilities as they're rare and he's one of the most successful ploymorphs. He teaches you to shift and how much you can shift before it hurts you.
~ The museum, the school, and the Orders office become like second homes. Your parents are informed you have an internship for school, a small job at a travel agency, and volunteer work at the museum. Slowly your distanced from your human family but you dont even notice as you feel so comfortable with your changeling one.
~ Otto is the most affectionate with you. He gives you hugs whenever he sees you and praises you. He brags about you whenever he can and keeps a picture of you in his wallet. Him and Strickler are constantly fighting over the best dad slot in your life. Strickler is the second most affectionate, giving you small displays of affection to show he cares. A shoulder squeeze, saying he's proud. Small but meaningful actions. Meanwhile Nomura really only touches you when your fighting. She cares deeply about you but being a changeling she's dealt with a lot of loss. Her affection is through advice and actions. She doenst often speak her emotions but when she does it's very genuine and you are assured she loves you.
~ Strickler spends a lot of time with you in his office. He rearranged your schedule so you have a free peroid and he uses this time to tell you about your heritage. He takes artifacts off his shelves and tells you ancient stories about changelings and trolls. You learn changeling and trollish from him and he enjoys telling you about your history.
~ He's traveled the world and seen a little of everything. There's always a little more to learn but he chooses to teach what he knows instead. Strickler informs you about everything involving history and cultures and tribes. He tells you stories of his adventures and he hopes someday he'll be able to take you on one. Missions aren't always fun but he must admit traveling was always a plus.
~ Otto isn't allowed to talk about Gunmar but there are other things to discuss. You mostly bond over being polymorphs and get closer as you work together. He helps with paperwork and shows you the less dangerous side of the Order. He hopes one day you can join him and be a spy but for now your doing fine at work and he couldn't be more proud.
~ Ottos constantly buying you sweets and cakes. Feeding you and making sure you know your cared for. In Germany everyone offers food to their loved ones and your not aloud to say no, so for Otto you not eating the food he brings is the greatest offense. You learn very quickly not to fight him and just let him love you.
~ You spend long hours at the museum with Nomura or by yourself. Your either learning about your Changeling side or Changeling culture or wandering around looking at the exhibits. Nomura explains many artifacts show that changelings have existed forever simply hiding in plain sight. She enjoys giving you the tour and telling you all about the secret side of history. Often her and Strickler will bicker about it but she swears she knows better than him.
~ She's very strict about her job but every now and then she'll let you touch something that your not supposed too. She's also let you design exhibits to showcase work and has shared her love of pottery with you. She has a little studio so if you ever feel stressed or upset it's there for you. Sometimes when your angry Nomura will sit and pound clay with you helping you get your emotions out. She warns you while sculpting you are safe but there are others who would take your moments of weakness and use them against you. She doesn't elaborate but the Order is starting to show it's true colors the longer your there.
~ They each have something they like doing with you. Nomura does pottery or art projects, occasionally taking you to new art galleries or shows. Strickler enjoys reading with you or going on short trips. He shows you secret places or overlooked stores that have hidden treasures. And Otto loves taking you to restaurants or the movies. They all spoil you with affection and enjoy doing activities with you.
~ Bular becomes a problem a couple months into your shift to changeling life. With you spending time in the museum and Killahead being formed it is not a surprise when you finally meet him. He's going to eat you but you get so scared you change into your troll form and attack him. Bular has never seen you before and is so surprised you get a couple hits in like Nomura taught you.
~ Strickler and Nomura thankfully come to your defense before too much damage can be done. However, with Bular now knowing of your existence things get more compliacted. More of the Order is revealed to you and continuing to hide what they've lied about is hard.
~ The group does whatever it takes to keep you away from Bular but it seems the troll has gained a crush. Otto sees this as amazing. Imagine their baby courting and marrying the Prince of Darkness. A changeling as consort of the GumGums. You'd be a ruler. Strickler considers it but Nomura does not like the idea.
~ As Bular begins to try and court you, you begin to discover more about the Order. The Changelings begin giving you space and more freedoms allowing you too see what the Order truly is. It's up to you to decide on what to do next. But the changelings do assure you they love you and whatever you decide they'll support.
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reinerispretty · 4 years
Text
little moments. zuko x f!reader rotations bonus
HI UM!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 2K!!!!! i love each and every one of u with my WHOLE HEART!!!! 
i was trying to think of something special to do that everyone would enjoy, so why not a good callback to the reason why most of us are here hehehe
when i wrote rotations, there were lots of avenues that i thought of taking after the fall of ba sing se! in the fic, (y/n) is arrested, and i posted a bonus already of how it would have ended if she had escaped with sokka and the rest of the gaang. HOWEVER, i did think of her taking azula up on her offer of going back to the fire nation and being there with zuko (insert side eye emoji) 
so that’s what this is! a little rotations bonus to say thank you so much for sticking with me!!
She had contemplated it as she was in her room on the ship. Of running away and finding Sokka, Katara, and Toph. She would tell them that she couldn’t do it. She wasn’t strong enough.
But as she lie awake that night, she thought of everything Aang had sacrificed in order to ensure that they would have a better life. If he was truly gone, it would a disservice to their entire cause if she couldn’t risk something the way her beloved friend had.
The weight of what she had done settled into her stomach as soon as (Y/N) opened her eyes. She stared up at the ceiling of one of the guest bedrooms in the Earth King’s palace, needles dancing behind her eyes. For the first time in months, she was completely alone. 
Azula had offered her immunity if she chose to join her. All would be forgiven if (Y/N) would just join them and return to her home, her real home. The mainland of the Fire Nation and the inner workings of palace life. It would be like nothing had changed. And (Y/N) had said yes. 
It wasn’t as if she wanted to betray her friends. It was something that Sokka had discussed with her, in the event that she was captured. 
A knock sounded against the heavy green door. (Y/N) sat up against the fluffy green pillows and called whoever it was in. Servants filtered in, carrying bundles of clothing, brushes, soaps, and dishes of water. One stopped at the foot of her bed. “The Princess has asked that you ready yourself to see her in the throne room.” 
(Y/N) nodded silently and slipped out of the bed. The servants guided her to a chair in front of a vanity where they worked at her appearance.
Looking in the mirror was difficult. (Y/N) couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead, as she was dressed in the traditional clothing of her nation, she kept her eyes cast downward and remained silent as the servants scrubbed the dirt from her nails and face and brushed the knots from her hair. It was as if, little by little, evidence of her time with Aang, Katara, Toph, and Sokka was being erased. 
Sokka. She thought back to their conversation on the floor of their house in Ba Sing Se, shrouded in darkness as they whispered to each other. “Do what you can to keep yourself safe,” He had said quietly. “Pretend that you like them or something. When you can, meet back up with us and tell us about the Fire Lord’s plan.”
“I’m not leaving you guys,” She had scoffed, hoping that Sokka’s request of her was fake. Did he really expect her to leave her friends? The people who had become her family?
Sokka had turned over on his stomach to look at her. “You’re our best chance at gathering intel about the Fire Nation. They know you there, they trust you.” 
“Not anymore,” She pointed out. Sokka shrugged. 
“They have a soft spot for you. You’re one of our advantages, (Y/N). If given the opportunity, I need you to take it.” 
She had turned over, staring straight into his sky blue eyes. She rested her chin on her palm. She wasn’t taking Sokka seriously, so she had humored him. “Fine,” She agreed. “If Azula wanders up to me and asks me to go back, I’ll play spy.” 
Sokka’s face remained serious despite her joking tone. “I don’t want you to do this either,” He had told her. “If you get into any serious danger, just come back to m--us.” 
(Y/N) had laughed. “Danger? In the Fire Nation? No way.” 
In the present, (Y/N) dared to look at herself in the mirror. Her hair was done in the traditional Fire Nation topknot, flowing freely down her back. She looked as she had over a year ago. Beloved daughter of the Fire Nation with a miserable glint in her eye. Was this who she had always been? She swallowed thickly to press down the tears. 
She had learned to trust Sokka’s judgment overtime. It was a good plan. She was the only one that could do it. But it hadn’t been a day and she already couldn’t wait to be reunited with her friends. In the meantime, she would have to do her best to pretend that this was the life she wanted. One of cruelty and submission. 
She had sat in the palace the night before, as Zuko and Azula fought Katara and Aang in the caverns below the city. She had watched Appa fly away, with no knowledge of how her friends had fared during the fight. 
Once she was done getting ready, (Y/N) dismissed the servants. She walked quietly to the throne room, her head down. When she entered, Azula was sat in the Earth King’s throne, still wearing her Earth Kingdom disguise. Mai and Ty Lee were seated at the steps beneath her. The one person she was expecting to see was absent. 
Ty Lee’s face lit up when she saw (Y/N), and as soon as she finished her bow, the young acrobat cartwheeled over to her and gave her a hug. (Y/N’s) first instinct was to stiffen, but she fought it and squeezed Ty Lee as hard as she could. 
“It’s so good to have you back!” Ty Lee exclaimed, clasping (Y/N’s) cheeks between her hands. “I’ve never seen your aura look better!” 
“That’s...great?” (Y/N) questioned, furrowing her brows. Her eyes drifted over to Mai, who picked her nails with the blades of her darts. 
“Hey.” Was all she said. Well, that was alright. Mai and (Y/N) had never been very close. 
“Good morning,” Azula drawled, a smile curling on her lips. (Y/N) was unsure if it was genuine or menacing. Both were to be expected when dealing with Azula. “I’ve talked to Father. He’s willing to fully pardon you for your crimes.” 
“That’s--” (Y/N) swallowed. “That’s very generous of the Fire Lord.” 
“Yes. I told him all about the poison the Avatar and his friends put into your head. Without guidance from me, you were easily influenced.” Azula adjusted her position in the throne, tucking her legs beneath herself. She looked like she belonged there. “Father and I both agreed that it would be best if I kept you close. You need support from your real friends.” 
(Y/N) knew what this was, and Azula did too. It was not something from the kindness of the young princess’s heart. It was a way to control (Y/N), to make sure that she wouldn’t stray. A single misstep and it was likely that she would be six feet under. It was even more likely that Azula would put her there herself. 
(Y/N) tried as hard as she could to smile gratefully. “Thank you, Azula. Please give your father my thanks.” The doors to the throne room opened then, revealing Zuko. He was dressed in a royal Fire Nation robe, but his green Earth Kingdom clothes still poked out from beneath the red fabric. (Y/N) liked to think that she had become very vigilant in her time running from the Fire Nation, so she noticed the way Mai’s face lit up just slightly at his appearance. 
He looked over at (Y/N), his eyes widening in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, then immediately shut it. She stared back at him, her eyes boring into his. While it may appear that she and Zuko were on the same side, she had no intention of forgiving him for turning on Iroh. For throwing away all the progress he had made in his time away from the Fire Nation. He was so close to becoming the version of himself that she always believed he could be and he had thrown it all away for trivial acceptance. 
Zuko was the first to turn away and (Y/N) looked back to Ty Lee. 
“Can you tell me about the boy you were traveling with?” Ty Lee questioned. “The one with the ponytail?” 
“Yes, (Y/N),” Azula said. “Do tell us all about your time with the Avatar and his friends. I’d like to know what they’re planning.” 
“His name is Sokka,” (Y/N) told Ty Lee, trying her hardest to not show any amount of affection in her voice. “And I don’t know what they’re planning. They never trusted me enough to share.” She stared straight into Azula’s golden eyes. Azula was a skilled liar, but (Y/N) had grown up with her. She had a lot more tricks up her sleeve than the princess would anticipate. 
Azula narrowed her fine eyebrows. “That’s quite alright. I suppose we don’t have much to worry about, considering Zuko killed the Avatar.” 
(Y/N) had to hold in her gasp or else she would be jeopardizing everything she was here for. There was no way Aang could be gone. He was the connection between the Spirit World and the Human World. Wouldn’t they be able to feel it? 
She curled her hands into fists, her nails pressing crescent shaped marks into her skin. “You should be thanking him,” Said Azula. (Y/N’s) eyes slid across the room to Zuko. He stared at his sister, his own brow furrowed in confusion. “Go on. Say thank you.” 
“Thank you,” (Y/N) said quietly to Zuko. She hated how silent he was being. If Aang was gone, then Zuko would now be dead to her. He had done something unforgivable. If he didn’t understand the weight of his actions now, then he never would. 
“Our ship leaves tonight,” Azula announced, standing up and stretching her body. “We should be back home by morning. (Y/N), you’ll be staying in the palace with Zuzu and I, since your parents failed to protect you from the Avatar.” 
“Thank you,” (Y/N) repeated, perhaps because her brain couldn’t think of anything else. 
“Father also wants to have an audience with you,” Azula said as she skipped down the steps. She strode over to (Y/N), the same mischievous glint in her eye. “Something about loyalty.” Azula’s smile was menacing. 
(Y/N) swallowed. She was in way over her head. 
---
Their ship docked in the royal port, just below the palace. Guards escorted (Y/N) off of the ship, which was horribly embarrassing. Truly they couldn’t think of her as that big of a threat to require guards? Perhaps they had thought she might try to escape. She had contemplated it as she was in her room on the ship. Of running away and finding Sokka, Katara, and Toph. She would tell them that she couldn’t do it. She wasn’t strong enough. 
But as she lie awake that night, she thought of everything Aang had sacrificed in order to ensure that they would have a better life. If he was truly gone, it would a disservice to their entire cause if she couldn’t risk something the way her beloved friend had. It was intimidating, being surrounded by those she had fought for so long, but (Y/N) was different now. She wasn’t the girl that they thought they knew. Her time with her friends had changed her for the better. 
So, (Y/N) stepped off the ship and back onto the Fire Nation mainland with her chin held high, a smirk playing at the corners of her lips. If she were to be believable, she had to exude confidence, even if she was scared out of her mind. Her confidence began to falter as the guards walked her past Zuko and Azula, past Mai and Ty Lee, and to the room that she remembered to be the Fire Lord’s throne room. 
She had not set foot into this room since she was nine, when she had exhibited her firebending skills for Fire Lord Azulon. So much had changed since then. If she had thought Azulon was intimidating then, Ozai was something to be feared. 
He sat on his throne, red flames shooting up in columns on either side. As soon as she was before him, the guards left, and (Y/N) fell into a bow. She absolutely despised groveling, but she knew it was what needed to be done in order to survive beneath the Fire Lord’s nose. 
She tried her best to bring back all the information of Fire Nation etiquette that had gathered dust at the back of her mind. After a few moments of silence, she rose and sat on her knees, hands folded in her lap as she stared forward at Ozai. Her eyes were downcast, avoiding her gaze. (Y/N) tried her best to come across as shameful. 
“You have grown since the last time you were in these halls,” The Fire Lord spoke. His voice was calm, too calm for someone who was talking to a traitor. (Y/N) inhaled a deep breath. 
“My lord,” She said, her voice shaky from nerves. “I am so, so sorry for betraying our nation. I deserve to be thrown into prison and never let out.” 
“Is that what you want?” Ozai questioned. “To be rotting in a cell?” (Y/N) curled her fingers into her dress and made a rash decision. She looked at the Fire Lord and stared directly into his amber eyes. 
“I want to prove myself to the nation. And to you. I was a foolish girl. After Zuko’s banishment, I was heartbroken. I let my feelings get the better of me.” There was some truth to her lies. She wasn’t foolish, nor did she want to prove herself, but Zuko’s banishment had only been a catalyst for how she felt about the Fire Nation. 
“I don’t give second chances.” (Y/N) felt a tugging at her heart. She couldn’t report to her friends from jail. Or if she was dead. “But perhaps you can redeem yourself after your punishment.” (Y/N’s) eyebrow quirked up curiously. 
Ozai plucked a metal rod from his side and stood, walking down to meet her. (Y/N) knew what it was. Their words for ‘traitor’ were cast into iron at the end of the rod, which was already heating up from Ozai’s touch. The brand was given to those who had betrayed the nation, so that all would know of their treachery. They considered it to be a better option that rotting in jail or being executed. 
(Y/N) gulped. She had never seen a branding performed, but she had heard the screams as Ursa had ushered her, Azula, and Zuko away from the palace when they were young. It was a practice that not even Azulon had instituted. It was purely of Ozai’s crafting. 
“Your arm,” Ozai said, gesturing to her right arm. (Y/N) pulled up her sleeve. She could feel her body getting hot, the fight or flight instincts kicking in and begging her to run. As a native to the Fire Nation and a firebender, she was able to withstand a great amount of heat. Which meant that the poker needed to be thousands of degrees hotter than the average in order to brand her skin. “This is a punishment for your own actions,” Ozai sneered. “You brought this upon yourself.” 
The hot poker pressed into the skin of her forearm and (Y/N) had to bite down as hard as she possibly could on her bottom lip to keep herself from shouting, but it was no use. The pain was unbearable, shooting up her arm and reverberating on every nerve within her body. She couldn’t control her shrill screams as they echoed in the massive hall. Hot tears streamed down her face as she watched what Ozai was doing to her. She should have escaped when she had the chance, should have told Sokka no, she couldn’t return to the Fire Nation. She had been a child then, she wouldn’t be safe from the horrors that Ozai inflicted on others. 
He removed the iron from her skin and (Y/N) collapsed in on herself, her body shaking with sobs. She knew that showing weakness was even more dangerous now than ever before, but this was a treatment that was reserved for seasoned war criminals, not fifteen year old girls. She looked up at Ozai through cloudy eyes, barely able to see through her tears. “Thank you, my lord,” She said, her voice shaky and small because her throat was clouded with sobs. 
“You are dismissed,” He said as he returned to his position on his throne, not bothering to look back at her. (Y/N) stood on wobbly legs and bowed once more before walking slowly out of the throne room. As soon as she was beyond its doors, she started running. She couldn’t even see where she was going, but her feet carried her to the only place she knew would help. 
She sobbed heavily as she reached the turtle duck pond, dropping to her knees and shoving her arm into the cool water. The turtle ducks quacked and flapped away from her, but (Y/N) couldn’t care. She wanted Katara, whose healing powers would ease the burning pain shooting up and down her arm. She wanted to be held, to be reassured that everything would be alright. She cried, her tears dripping into the pond water. It probably wasn’t the most sanitary situation, but the coolness of the water helped ease her pain just slightly. 
“(Y/N)?” Zuko’s voice sounded far away in her ears. “What happened?” 
(Y/N) couldn’t bring herself to look any farther up than his boots. She felt so tired, but she couldn’t afford to pass out. She couldn’t let her guard down once while in this place. “Just go away,” She said meekly, the fingers on her other hand clawing into the soft grass. 
“Father gave her her punishment,” Azula said from the other side of (Y/N). Having the both of them here was the absolute last thing she wanted. Azula pulled her arm from the pond and wrapped cool towels around her burn. (Y/N) hissed in pain, but she had to admit that it was better than the pond water. “If it makes you feel any better,” continued Azula nonchalantly. “You passed his test.” 
“You knew about this?” Zuko demanded, his eyes wild with anger. Azula scoffed. 
“Relax, Zuzu. It’s just a little burn.” Delirious, (Y/N) laughed bitterly. Her ragged breathing was starting to even out. 
Zuko bent down at her side, placing a hand on her shoulder. (Y/N) shrugged it off and stood, refusing to look at him. She wiped the tears from her eyes and removed the towels from her arm. ‘Traitor’ was beginning to blister on her skin. It would be something that remained with her for the rest of her life. 
She looked up at Azula. “Can you take me to my room?” 
“You should probably go to the infirmary,” Zuko suggested. 
“Zuko, I heard that Mai was looking for you,” Azula’s voice was laced with spite that stung both Zuko and (Y/N). Azula linked her arm with (Y/N’s) good one and led her back into the palace. 
“Father said it was necessary for you to understand the damage you’ve done,” Azula said lowly to (Y/N). “You weren’t only a nuisance to me, you know. The whole Fire Nation was ashamed of you.” Azula giggled. She had a way of making jokes out of insults, but once she saw (Y/N’s) face, her own softened. “It will heal.” 
“Will there be more tests to prove my willingness?” (Y/N) questioned. “If they’re worse than this, I don’t know if I’ll survive.” 
“That’s all Father had planned for you.” (Y/N) noticed how Azula failed to mention if she had any tests for her. With a deep sigh, (Y/N) hoped that her friends were better off than she was. 
---
A nurse had visited (Y/N’s) room to tend to her wound. The expression on her face had been a mixture of disgust and pity. (Y/N) hadn’t had the energy to leave her bed for a few days, which she recognized was putting her mission in jeopardy. She was supposed to be gathering information, not wallowing beneath the blankets. 
After the nurse had dressed her bandages, (Y/N) decided it was best to finally roam about the palace. There was still a stinging sensation on her skin whenever it rubbed against the fabric of her dress, but she tried her best to ignore it as she walked through the halls of the Royal Palace, as well as memory lane. The place had become considerably more focused on Ozai rather than the greatness of the Fire Nation. Servants scampered about in fear, careful not to cross her path. She didn’t recognize anyone that she saw. (Y/N) used to know everyone by name. She guessed that they had either fled the palace or had been fired. Or worse. 
Being there felt like being out of place in your own home. Thinking back on her past felt like looking into someone else’s life. 
She paused at the tapestries of the Fire Lords, staring up at Ozai’s looming figure. He looked the most menacing, and perhaps that was because he was the most dangerous. There was only a month until the Day of the Black Sun, but that seemed like such a short amount of time to figure out how to defeat Ozai. 
“It’s different,” Zuko said at her side, and (Y/N) jumped in surprise, clutching a hand to her heart. “Being back here after so long,” He elaborated. 
(Y/N) hummed. If she were being honest, she avoided Zuko as much as she could. She felt as though she couldn’t stand to be around him. If she were alone with him for too long, she might end up beating him senseless. 
“Why did you come back?” Zuko questioned. “I thought you were happy with them.” 
“I guess we both don’t know each other as well as we thought,” (Y/N) said, keeping her voice as level as possible. She looked at Zuko, her face devoid of emotion. “I’m not here for you.” 
Zuko frowned. “I didn’t think you were.” 
“Good.” She turned to walk away, but Zuko grabbed her by the sleeve of her robes. 
“If you’re here, why are you mad at me? You’ve forgiven everyone else.” 
“You killed my friend,” She said quietly. “How could I ever forgive you for doing that?” 
“That wasn’t--” Zuko huffed, lowering his voice. “I didn’t kill Aang. Azula used her lightning on him.” 
(Y/N) narrowed her eyes. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?” 
“You would trust Azula over me?” 
“You of all people should know that you can’t trust anyone here.” She crossed her arms over one another, wincing at the contact of her wound. “Why would Azula lie?” 
“Azula always lies,” Zuko said, repeating the mantra they had created when they were kids. “Why would it matter to you what happened in the underground city? You left them. You betrayed them.” (Y/N) flinched. 
“And you feel so confident after abandoning your uncle?” Zuko’s eyes sparked with anger. After all this time, at least she knew exactly what buttons to push. “I cared about them,” She said, choosing her words very carefully. “I spent months with them, it was impossible not to. If they had killed you, I would be feeling the same way.” (Y/N) swallowed. “But they wouldn’t have. They’re different from you and me.” 
She left him then, her heart pounding against her chest. Part of her wished that she could reach out to Zuko, to make him see all the wrong that their nation was causing the world, but she knew it would be too dangerous. Zuko’s loyalties lay with his family and Mai now. He might have been (Y/N’s) once, but he was no longer. 
---
“Are you really going to stay under that umbrella the whole time?” Ty Lee pouted, grabbing (Y/N) by the arm. “The whole point of going to the beach is to get some sun!” 
(Y/N) poked her feet from beneath the umbrella, wiggling her toes in the warm sand. She pointed at them. “They’re getting sun.” Ty Lee sighed, retreating back to her towel on the beach, where dozens of boys were already waiting for her. (Y/N) adjusted on her own beach chair, wrapping her shawl tightly around her shoulders. The words etched into her arm would be a dead giveaway to the children of Fire Nation aristocracy that littered Ember Island. It would cause more trouble than it was worth. 
“I’m surprised you’re not running into the water,” Mai said in her monotonous voice. “I thought you loved to swim.” 
“Yeah, I’d just rather not draw attention to the ugly branding on my arm,” (Y/N) said offhandedly, digging into her beach bag for a pack of fire flakes. She offered some to Mai, who took a few and shook them into her palm. The girls ate together quietly. 
“It’s better than getting sent to Boiling Rock,” Mai said and (Y/N) snorted. 
“That’s what I keep telling myself, but it didn’t feel like it in the moment.” Mai’s dark eyes glanced at (Y/N’s) arm, ‘traitor’ slightly visible beneath the sheerness of her shawl. 
“I didn’t think they were actually going to do it,” Mai admitted. “Azula begged her dad not to execute you.” 
(Y/N) coughed from surprise and also from the heat of the fire flakes. “Well, I’m glad to hear I was saved from a worse fate.” Zuko returned then, taking a seat between Mai and (Y/N). He handed his girlfriend ice cream, which promptly fell on her lap. 
She hadn’t been on Ember Island for many summers, but things rarely changed on the tourist destination. Her family used to have a house on the opposite side of the island. She wondered who occupied it now. 
Azula squatted at (Y/N’s) other side. “We’ve been invited to a party,” She announced, a triumphant smile on her face. (Y/N) sighed. 
“I don’t really think I’m up for a party,” She said, and Azula’s fingers wrapped around her arm, pressing into the healing skin. 
“Please? You have to come!” Azula demanded, but her smile seemed genuine. (Y/N) coughed. 
“Azula? My arm.” Azula lifted her hands immediately, giving her a look that was almost apologetic. 
“You have to come,” Azula repeated. “I already told them to expect the five of us.” 
So (Y/N) was forced to attend a Fire Nation party. If the children of these diplomats had annoyed her as kids, she couldn’t stand them as teenagers. (Y/N) kept to the wall, preferring to people watch and nibble on the stacked plate she had snagged from the food table. She had traded her shawl for a long-sleeved shirt that had been buried in the back of Lo and Li’s closet. It was definitely old fashioned, but (Y/N) didn’t really care. 
As she watched, (Y/N) thought of how she had never actually been to a party. Growing up, there were certain obligations and expectations that she needed to uphold. Being betrothed to Zuko meant taking lessons and maintaining appearances. She had gone to an all girl’s school for a short amount of time before being pulled out of her lessons to be tutored at the palace. Really, her entire childhood had consisted of Zuko, Azula, and other adults. 
“Hey, how’s it going?” One boy asked, walking up to her and leaning against the wall. (Y/N) jumped in surprise, nearly spilling her food. When did she get so jumpy? Perhaps it was a side effect of constantly being on edge. 
“Uh, hi,” She said, unsure why this boy was talking to her. Is this what happened at parties? People just walked up to other people without formal introductions? She felt so lame. 
“I’m Lee,” He said, and (Y/N) snorted, because the Fire Nation had a million Lee’s and Zuko had been one of them. Her eyes cut over to the prince, who stood brooding in a corner as he watched his girlfriend. 
“Sorry,” (Y/N) apologized, turning back to the boy. “I have so many friends named Lee. I’m (Y/N).” She took a bite of a carrot to punctuate her sentence. 
“Is this your first time on the island?” Lee asked, resting his back against the wall as she had. His eyes were a nice light brown, his hair black and shoulder-length and tied half up in the back. He was likely a whole foot taller than (Y/N). 
She shook her head. “I used to come here all the time when I was a kid. But y’know, life gets in the way so I haven’t been back in a few years.” 
“So where are you from?” He had a lot of questions. 
“The mainland,” (Y/N) answered. She wanted to be honest, as keeping up lies tended to be difficult, but she didn’t want to tell him that she was currently living at the palace. “And you?” 
“I’m from a smaller island off the coast of the mainland. My dad’s the mayor there.” 
“Oh, that’s nice.” (Y/N) realized she had a hard time talking to boys that she didn’t know almost everything about. She set her empty plate in the trash can and extended her hand to him, watching carefully so that her sleeves would not roll up. “Do you want to dance?” 
“Dance?” He questioned. (Y/N) smiled. 
“There’s music and an empty floor. That implies dancing.” 
“I don’t think--” She grabbed him by the hand anyway, leading him to the middle of the floor. 
“My grandfather taught me this one,” She told him, and she started dancing. It was another lie. Aang had taught her the traditional Fire Nation dances from his childhood, one night while their group was camped by a river bank and feeling incredibly bored. She had had no idea that her culture had once had a history of anything other than war, but learning the dance moves had excited her. 
“Like this?” Lee asked, repeating her movements. (Y/N) nodded her head excitedly. 
“Exactly!” She looked around the room and locked eyes with Ty Lee, who was always willing to have a fun time. She gestured for her to join her and once Ty Lee ran to the middle, other boys started flocking to the center to dance with them. 
For a while, (Y/N) forgot about her mission and the friends she had left behind. Later, this would make her sad. But for right now, she felt like a regular girl in the Fire Nation. 
Lee had pulled her close and spun her around so fast that she had been practically thrown from the crowd of dancers, spinning around the room until she eventually bumped into someone. (Y/N) laughed out an apology as the person gripped her forearms to steady her balance. When she looked up, she stared straight at Zuko. 
She had allowed herself to stare, for a few seconds. The last time they had been this close, he had been preparing for his Agni Kai. The pink and red skin of his scar might have been off-putting to some, but (Y/N) thought he looked as lovely as the first day she had met him. She wanted to reach her hand up and touch him, to feel the contrast between soft cheek and rough scar tissue, but as soon as she had that thought, she pushed it away. 
“Sorry,” She repeated as she separated herself from Zuko. The mood was ruined. She remembered everything that he had done, everything that she had left behind, and soon she went back to her spot on the wall, watching as the others danced happily. 
---
They had left the party, but really they had been thrown out. Zuko had been jealous of boys talking to Mai, so they had broken up, but then Zuko had started a fight? (Y/N) wasn’t necessarily sure what had happened. One moment she was moving back toward the snack table, the next Azula was pulling her out of the house by her collar. 
They sat on the beach now, surrounding the fire that (Y/N) had started. She remained quiet as they listed their qualms with each other, and with the universe. Her eyes remained focused on the flames as she processed the information and thought of any way that Sokka might be able to use it against them. But then a pit settled in her stomach. These were personal things that they were sharing, and it didn’t seem right to expose them so viciously. 
“You’re just going to be quiet?” Zuko demanded, his voice rough and laced with annoyance. Her eyes snapped toward him, a frown placing itself upon her features. 
“We’re all sharing,” Ty Lee said gently from her right. “Even Azula shared something.” (Y/N’s) eyes cut to Azula, who looked at her expectantly. 
“I think I’m alright.” She didn’t want to risk exposing herself. She wasn’t even sure what was safe to say. These were her childhood friends, but who knew what would happen if she revealed even a fraction of how she really felt. 
“Do you think you’re too good for us?” Zuko questioned, staring down at her. His voice was hard, laced with attitude as it normally was, but he seemed curious. “You spend time with the Avatar and his buddies and now you’re stuck with second rate friends?” 
“I chose to come back,” (Y/N) narrowed her eyes at Zuko. 
“It feels like you picked second best,” Azula said. (Y/N) locked eyes with her from across the fire. “We’re not idiots, we know you enjoyed your time with them. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have abandoned the life you had.” 
“You all seem to forget that the life I had wasn’t the life that I wanted,” (Y/N) said, staring at each of the people that surrounded her. “I was sent away from the only home I had ever known, from the only people that I had ever known, to live in an Earth Kingdom colony. My father thought I was a disappointment and my mother hated everything I did, and the people that I thought cared about me left me behind without a second thought.” She paused, turning to Zuko. “Did any of you even think about me? Even bother to consider how I might have felt? You’re all so concerned with your own lives, you always have been. I was alone. I might have made mistakes, but that’s what happens when you’re desperate for someone to care about you.” 
She firebended into the dying flames, causing them to shoot toward the sky. 
“Why come back then?” Mai asked. 
(Y/N) hesitated for a split second, but it was just long enough for Zuko to notice. “People fighting against the Fire Nation aren’t always eager to have someone from the Fire Nation with them.” She shrugged. “I just wanted to belong somewhere.” 
Ty Lee scrambled over to her, wrapping her arms around (Y/N). “You belong with us!” (Y/N) insisted. “We never wanted to fight you. We would always feel so horrible about it after.” 
(Y/N) gave her a light smile. “I would, too.” She risked casting a glance over at Azula, who refused to meet her eyes. (Y/N) couldn’t tell if she had messed everything up or if she was still in the clear. 
They let the fire die eventually, and one by one, each of the teenagers began returning to the house, until (Y/N) was the last one left. She had moved further down the beach where the tide splashed against the sand. It was a warm summer night on Ember Island, and the water was just right. The only light surrounding her was the light of the full moon, which cast a lovely silver glow on everything. 
“Hi, Yue,” She sighed, splashing her fingers into the water. “I wish there was a way that you could tell me they were okay.” 
She heard shuffling from behind her and turned around, surprised to see Zuko walking toward her. She turned back, facing the water once more. “I’ll be back to the house in a few minutes, I just wanted to sit for a while.” 
He sat in the sand, just a foot away from her. (Y/N) held in her sigh. Zuko was the last person she wanted sitting with her right now. She wanted to hate him for everything that he had done, but then she looked at him and all she wanted to do was talk to him. The inner conflict that he gave her was enough to put her in a sour mood for hours. 
“I didn’t know where you were,” Zuko said quietly. (Y/N) turned to him and furrowed her brows. “No one would tell me.” His eyes met hers. “Or else I would have written.” 
“Oh,” (Y/N) said, feeling her cheeks become hot. “It was years ago. It doesn’t really matter anymore.” 
“If it didn’t matter to you, you wouldn’t have said it.” Sometimes it hit (Y/N) that just as she knew the inner workings of Zuko, her knew her as well. “I meant it, when I said that I thought of you every day.” 
“I meant what I said too,” (Y/N) said quietly. “But things are different now. You’re Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, not Lee from the tea shop.” 
“I’m still who I was in Ba Sing Se.” She shook her head. 
“You think that, but we both know what being back here really means.” Being back in the Fire Nation meant Zuko had reverted back to who he once was, someone eager to please his father, no matter the cost. 
Zuko was quiet, as if he didn’t know what to say. She was surprised with how calm he was being. Perhaps the full moon had an odd effect on everyone. 
“Can I ask you something?” (Y/N) questioned, and Zuko nodded. “Was Azula really the one to kill Aang?” 
He hesitated, but then he nodded. “He was in his Avatar State and she struck him with lightning.” 
(Y/N) pushed back the tears that threatened to spill over. Even with Zuko, she couldn’t truly show herself. “Why’d she tell everyone it was you?” 
“To get me in my father’s good graces.” He scoffed. “To save herself in case it didn’t work.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“When Katara and I were trapped in the caves, she told me that she had water from the Spirit World pool in the Northern Water Tribe.” Zuko shook his head. “I-I don’t know what could have happened, but there’s something telling me that no one really knows what happened to Aang.” 
That gave (Y/N) all the hope that she needed. Aang was safe. He was alright.
“So, if Aang is alive and your father thinks you failed...” She did not want to finish her sentence. She met Zuko’s golden eyes once more. “After everything he’s done, why did you come back?” 
“Same reason as you, I guess. I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere.” 
She had never considered that Zuko had been feeling alone during his time with Iroh. She had been conflicted over her loyalties, but it had only lasted a few moments until she made the choice to join Team Avatar. She was confident that she was doing the right thing, but there was more at stake for Zuko. 
“You didn’t swim today,” he said suddenly. 
(Y/N) shrugged. “I didn’t want anyone to see my arm,” She said simply, but Zuko winced. 
“I...I didn’t know he was going to do that. If I had, I would’ve--” (Y/N) shook her head to stop him. 
“We both know firsthand what he’s capable of. I wouldn’t have wanted you to put yourself in a position like that.” She touched her arm, where beneath the fabric of her sleeve lay the raised marks of the brand that was still healing. “Who knows, maybe I’ll be laughing about it in a few years.” 
Zuko glanced at the water, then back to (Y/N). “Do you want to go swimming?”
(Y/N) opened her mouth to protest, but Zuko didn’t seem to be having it. “You love swimming.” And it was true, she did love to swim. She had spent hours in the water during their trips to this island as children. Her mother had had to practically drag her from the beach. 
(Y/N) stood and removed her top layer of clothes, revealing the bathing suit beneath. Without hesitating, she ran into the warm water, diving beneath the calm waves. When she resurfaced, Zuko was only a few paces away from her, the robe that he had been wearing left in a pile beside her own clothes on the beach. 
“The water’s colder than I remember,” Zuko called out to her, just as she dove beneath the waves once more. 
“It was definitely like this when we were young, we were just stubborn,” (Y/N) laughed. Zuko swam over to her. She stood on her toes as the water came to her shoulders, but it only reached Zuko’s chest. “Your hair is still dry,” She pointed out and Zuko rolled his eyes, plugging his nose and dipping beneath the surface for a few seconds. When he came back up, he was significantly closer to (Y/N) than he had been before. 
“Is that better?” He asked, shaking out his hair so water droplets splashed on her face. She laughed and shoved him backward to get him to stop. 
He staggered backwards and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her under with him. (Y/N) opened her eyes beneath the waves, feeling the familiar stinging sensation that had been a staple of her childhood. Zuko’s eyes were closed as he held his breath. He had never gotten used to opening his eyes underwater, it had seemed. 
(Y/N) pulled them up toward the surface, both inhaling a sharp breath of air. As she went to settle on her feet, she bobbed beneath the waves. They had traveled much farther from the shore than she had expected. 
Zuko reached out for her, wrapping his arm around her middle to keep her above the water. He could still stand, which (Y/N) hated. “The last time we swam here, I was taller than you,” (Y/N) said, staring up at him. He smiled down at her, the corner of his eyes crinkling. The skin of his scar tried to repeat the action of its counterpart, but it couldn’t quite do it. 
(Y/N) couldn’t keep her eyes off of his scar. She knew it wasn’t entirely polite, but she was curious. He had left the Fire Nation before it had healed. When they encountered each other, she was never very close to him. Even at the party, she had only seen it up close for a few seconds. 
“I’ve never seen it this close,” She told him, her voice as soft as the moonlight that surrounded them. Zuko’s cheeks flushed. 
“It’s pretty bad, huh?” His eyes were trained on her, but she wasn’t noticing. She furrowed her brows and shook her head.
“I like it,” She said simply. It was Zuko’s turn to furrow his brows. 
“You can’t be serious.” (Y/N) shrugged, lifting her right hand to touch his cheek like she had wanted to at the party. Zuko stiffened and nearly dropped her into the ocean. Her thumb, light as a feather, traced over the pink and red skin. Some areas felt smooth and silky, while others were rougher. She traced over the brow bone where his eyebrow had once been. 
His eyes fell to her forearm, where his father’s punishment was still healing on her skin. He wrapped his fingers around her arm, lightly tracing the word with his own thumb. 
“For the record,” He said, eyes still focused on her arm. “I don’t think you’re a traitor.” 
A few moments passed before he looked up at her again. Her eyes were soft, sparkling in the reflection of the moonlight that bounced off of the water. The corners of her lips were turned upward in a soft smile. Her hand remained cupping the side of the face and Zuko sighed, leaning into her touch. 
“You’re really beautiful,” She told him, stroking his scar once more. “I don’t think I ever told you that.” Her heart was beating so hard against her chest. This was the stupid power that Zuko had over her. She had been so mad at him just a few hours ago, but if she allowed it, he wormed his way back into her heart. 
Zuko’s eyes widened in surprise at her statement. He parted his lips to say something, but no words would come to mind. She dizzied him, jumbled his thoughts until he was a mess of unspoken words and dumbfounded faces. 
It was slow as it happened, thoughtful. He rested his forehead against hers, their noses just barely touching as he stared at her through half-lidded eyes. He would give her time. If she wanted to pull away, she would. 
She didn’t. Her other hand took its place on his bicep, fingers curling gently into his skin. Her lips parted, her lashes batting upward as she stared into his amber eyes. Zuko was all that she could see and feel. Her heart continued to pound against her chest. If he wanted to do something, he would. 
Zuko’s eyes fluttered shut as he closed the distance between them, capturing her lips in a kiss. They were softer than he had ever imagined. The little gasp she let out made him pull her closer. He didn’t want any space between them. His hand left its place at her arm and traveled up to where she caressed his cheek, wrapping his fingers around her palm. 
(Y/N’s) eyes had remained open for a split second before she closed them, pressing into Zuko as she kissed back. She was completely thoughtless. Everything else in the world was absent as she melted into him, the hand at his arm moving to the back of his neck to pull him toward her even more. She had thought of this moment many times, but nothing could compare to the warmth that encompassed her heart as she kissed Zuko. 
When they pulled apart for air, it was as if (Y/N) had been pulled back into the real world. She stared at Zuko, her eyes wide as she realized what they had just done. 
“Mai,” They said at the same time, horrified looks reaching both of their faces. (Y/N) hated herself. She had gotten caught up in the moment and taken something that didn’t belong to her. (Y/N) scrambled out of Zuko’s arms. 
“We don’t speak of this ever again,” She told him, her voice stern. Zuko nodded silently. “This was a mistake. That’s all it was.” With that, she dove into the waves, swimming as fast as she could back to the shore. 
---
She avoided Zuko during the rest of their time at Ember Island, and once they had returned to the palace as well. If they ended up in the same corridor, one of them would turn around and walk back from where they had come from. It made (Y/N’s) heart ache, but she knew it was for the best. She felt horrible for doing something like that to Mai. She didn’t know what had become of her, and now she didn’t trust herself to be around Zuko at all. 
So, she focused on her mission. Every little snippet that she heard walking through the hallways would be recorded on a scroll, which would then be kept on her person at all times. She had witnessed on more than one occassion Azula leaving her room and looking particularly pleased with herself. (Y/N) would never leave anything incriminating lying around.
Still, she needed to figure out how to get a message to Sokka. The palace had messenger hawks, but she needed to know where to send one and she had absolutely no idea where her friends were. The Day of the Black Sun was the next day. To (Y/N), it seemed as though her best bet would be to leave the mainland quickly and rendezvous with one of the groups they had recruited for the invasion. If she could steal one of the palace’s boats, she could row herself to one of the islands off the coast and either find someone she knew or find someone who knew how to get a message out. 
Guards were not posted outside of her doors during the day, so (Y/N) made a hasty knapsack from one of her robes and began shoving a few belongings in it. Bread she had sneaked from the kitchens, a piece of parchment and a pen, and a map all fit securely inside. She was packing it once more when her door opened suddenly and she yelped, scrambling to cover her belongings with her bedsheets. 
“I need to tell you something,” Zuko said as he shut the door behind her. (Y/N) felt her face heat up. 
“You can’t be in here!” She hissed, reaching forward to shove Zuko out of her room. The last thing she needed was Azula seeing them alone together. She would undoubtedly tell Mai, which would cause more problems than (Y/N) needed on her last day in the Fire Nation. 
“Just wait a second!” Zuko demanded, keeping his voice low. “I just got out of one of my father’s war meetings. They’re planning to burn down the towns of those who haven’t surrendered yet.” 
(Y/N) halted her movements of trying to get him out of her room. She eyed him warily. “What does that have to do with me?” 
“I know you’ve been working with the Avatar.” (Y/N’s) body stiffened, but she rolled her eyes. 
“This again. Zuko, I already told you--” 
“You don’t have to lie to me anymore. I know that’s the real reason you’re here is to get information for your friends. I can’t let my father or Azula do this. I want to help you.” 
(Y/N) narrowed her eyes. “How do you know?”
“I know you wouldn’t come back unless you had a really good reason. As soon as I heard you say that they were suspicious of you, I knew that was a lie. I saw how you guys were with each other. They care about you.” 
(Y/N) swallowed. In a whisper, she said, “I’m leaving tonight. I can tell them about this before--” 
“The invasion,” Zuko finished. “My father and Azula know about that, too.” 
(Y/N) felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Everything that they had been working so hard for would be for nothing. She had to get to her friends and let them know they had been exposed. “I need to leave now.” She moved to go back to her knapsack, but Zuko grabbed her by the arm. 
“They’re suspicious of you, too. If they catch you, it’ll be much worse than a burn.” 
“I can’t just stay here and watch my friends fail!” 
“I have a plan,” Zuko assured her. “You just have to trust me.” 
(Y/N) eyed him. His hand still held her arm. Zuko stared up at her. She had never seen him look so sincere. With a deep breath, she nodded. 
---
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starseed-twenty · 4 years
Text
Sun Sign culture
(Based on typical and underlying traits each sign has)
Aries Sun - very self-reliant and don't like to depend on people - thinks/cares for themselves first, then another person - voices their opinion after sensing the vibe - high belief in their opinions - patient but gets irritated/annoyed rather quick - quick to fall in love if you look 'perfect' - confident & assertive at conversing - can be irrational (won't think things through), especially if faced with an annoying or uncomfortable situation - charming, but would rather chase you/lure you in than get chased - extreeemely loving & will do almost anything for you if they are deeply in love with you
Taurus Sun - likes to keep a small circle of trusted people - number one sign to love anything beautiful to do with the senses (nice smells, delicious tastes, amazing views, beautiful sounds, soft touches) - reserved and more often than not, will do things because it's allowed/supposed to be done that way - very skeptical of taking risks or making things that could mess up - dislike doing things that are out of order / disrespectful - very patient, but will come at you like a bull if you hit their last nerve - very lowkey about their emotions but they feel them - extreeemely supportive if they love you and care about you - feel very good about making their loved ones / parents proud - can be pretty lazy but since they love relaxing, if it's something they're supposed to be doing they'll get it done in order not to be stressed Gemini Sun - full of ideas / stories / random thoughts - likes to share their opinions around the right people - sometimes shy, but most times not too scared to share some of the weirdest or craziest thoughts that go on in their head - tends to relate or be relatable to many situations - pretty humourous and intellectual/wise - not to be confused with smart tho, because they can make dumb decisions sometimes lmao - the type to laugh at their terrible situations then look for a way forward, unless it is deep then they pour it out alone - many may say they're two-faced when actually it's just that they easily adjust/adapt to new environments and say the latest thing that comes to their mind - pretty generous and accommodating (making them great hosts) - actually really caring and loyal if they love you, but you'll have to be able to keep up with their crazy minds and have fun with them Cancer Sun - not as emotional as you think, but quite sensitive - they loove honest and genuine people (people who are real with themselves) - as much as they love their home, they also love to have fun! - they just want to be treated like kings / queens (highly respected and loved) - dislike flaky/not too serious/hard to pin down people - can be shy but surprisingly can also say blunt things about themselves - they truly respect themselves more than anything - randomly super goofy sometimes - very tender, loyal and caring once you really get to know them and they love you (not off the bat, but once you seriously get to know them) - MOODY AS HELL - super smart! Leo Sun - the most generous people you'll ever meet - only really selfish if they really want what you're asking for - caring but have a loott of pride - always do things by how they feel in the moment - have a really chilled, cool vibe to them - like to showcase their best assets, you'll barely know their insecurities (unless they joke about them) - one of their major goals is just living the luxurious life and having the finer things - like to get touchy when they like you - they fall pretty hard when they're deeply in love - very confident internally but also have a sensitive ego so don't diss them too much unless you're lightly joking around Virgo Sun - some of the most smart/intellectual people - always want things to be done and said right - really dislike people having control over them, they appreciate helpful people but not bossy ones - they are also very helpful people who like doing things for others - will most likely cater to you and be your little servant if they're super in love with you (not a literal servant, but just devoted to you and pleasing you) - really dislike aggressive loudmouths and ignorant/arrogant people - actually happen to find sarcastic and witty people interesting - some are pretty boring and some are super hilarious, it honestly varies lol - clean, well-prepared spaces / things that are not too cluttered make them impressed - have a thing for criticizing certain things, they can't help it sometimes - pretty shy and goofy when they like you, then open up bit by bit Libra Sun - they are all about positivity and fun vibes - really smart thinkers but you won't tell cause they're good actors - really talkative and funny once you get to know them - hate tension/awkwardness/bad vibes and will most likely step away from it - good at putting things together and have an eye for beauty so they are the best at fashion - a sucker for romantic things (if they're in love with you they'll be extremely romantic and try to please all your senses) - as much as they love people they also looove their time alone so they'll be social and then also anti-social after a minute - super wise at making decisions, but take their time because they're making sure it's the right one (therefore called 'indecisive') - quite selfless in the sense that they think of what's best for you before thinking of what's best for them - slow to get angry, but once they are, they're blunt and will cut you off! Scorpio Sun - surprise surprise, they are very friendly and lovable people - super humorous and goofy when they're happy - when they are not in the mood you will feel it - they live for honesty and genuine things/people, so they can be cautious people - once they trust you, DO NOT take it for granted (they're sensitive to betrayal and don't trust easily) - one or two very close friends - important to know your boundaries with them. they dislike people who forcefully try to worm their way into their lives - STUBBORN AS HELL - secretive, but love opening up to people who've earned their trust - most of the time don't actually care what you think, unless you mean something to them Sagittarius Sun - highkey lowkey the most opinionated people you'll ever meet - super hilarious and sarcastic individuals - also stubborn as hell - lowkey have that 'I got it' vibe - if they don't like you, you'll know it - loud and bitchy when they're angry, won't stop talking and will be petty as hell - a little bit selfish about the people (and things) they love - want to experience the best memories with you when they're in love with you - pretty optimistic and positive so they don't dwell on bad vibes for too long - not afraid to take risks if something looks enticing or fun Capricorn Sun - super nonchalant people who overlook annoying vibes or address them with full power, depending on their mood - can be pretty moody - very dark/dry/mean sense of humour, will tease you or laugh at ‘teasable’ people - really good at taking control over their emotions - if they cry, it is something serious because they hate letting their emotions get the best of them - they like working on something or having some sort of plan/little scheme to work on (even in love lol. they can work for love too) - they HATE disrespect. chances are they’ll never forget it if you’ve ever disrespected them - will open up to you (which can be really hard for them) and treat you like a king/queen if they're deeply in love with you - gifted with a sense of knowing what's morally right and morally wrong - not the type to fall quick, hard and deep in love. take a while to be invested Aquarius Sun - the one sign that doesn't care about almost anything (in both a bad and good way) - if they do care, it is lowkey but it is real because they're fixed - have a weird sense of humour, and may sometimes be blunt - may have a thing of feeling entitled or that somehow they’re unique than most - but pretty humble in treating everyone the same - loves entertaining people and people who are funny - does not like talking about feelings and emotions regularly, but when the mood calls for it, sure - has no problem ignoring people, things, thoughts and signs . they’re just really nonchalant - can be very random and just do things for the fun of it - when they are in love, you'll never really know but most likely they’ll want to spend a lot of time with you and hear your thoughts a lot Pisces Sun - have the tendency to like to act cute and sweet and beautiful - this is not always the case. in fact, 70% of the time they are pretty manipulative - as much as they may feel a lot, they barely talk about their feelings and just sweep most things under the carpet or brush them away - like thinking or 'dreaming' about the craziest scenarios that can make them smile or laugh - their favourite hobby is mentally escaping - hate bad vibes and tension, but aren't afraid of arguing! - like to think they're smart (most times they are though, other times they're pretty dumb (esp if they're led by love)) - when they are in love, they are almost everything you've ever wanted (super caring, pretty forgiving, and will do a looottt for you) - if they don't like you they don't even bother breathing in your direction - somehow they can pretty cynical and witty, making them seem mean, but they’re not really.
Side-note: I actually wrote this about two years ago lol and just found it yesterday in my old notes. So if I may sound like I’m repeating things from other posts or asks , I’m not actually trying to repeat anything more than I’m posting it for a ‘sun sign culture’ post and think this one is interesting to share.
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conscious-love · 3 years
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Hey I am the anon who asked for the advice when someone yells at you.. Your advice is really priceless!!
Could you also elaborate on responding to that yelling in a healthier manner..? Cause I definitely don't know how, which is why I just usually become quite.
Hope you have a lovely day.. You're a pure soul ✨
Hello! 🥰 I’m happy to hear from you, and I’m glad I was able to offer you some clarity. Sure, I can elaborate on that. I would like to reiterate, though, that you don’t have to stand there and take it when someone yells at you. That isn’t to say I’m advocating for avoiding conflict or giving up on people, but I believe that in a healthy relationship, yelling shouldn’t be a thing. That said, we all start somewhere, and there are perfectly valid reasons for why people yell, and those are most often rooted in childhood. If you (speaking generally, not specifically you) have a partner who yells, and you believe there’s a chance you can get them to understand that they don’t need to yell, and that yelling doesn’t help — in fact, it hurts you and the relationship — you can stay if that’s what you want, but I would caution you to set a time limit, and set firm boundaries, because this waiting can be a slippery slope.
How to respond when someone is yelling at us
This will vary from one relationship to another, so you might need to make adjustments. Also, I’m writing this with monogamous relationships in mind, but all of this applies to polyamorous couples as well. It also applies to friendships, families, coworkers and so on (basically, any human-human interaction).
Assess the risk of physical danger. Is this person likely to go beyond yelling by assaulting me, trapping me, or threatening me? If so, it may be best to faun, honestly (this is my opinion, not explicit advice). Meaning, make little or no eye contact, agree with them or at least don’t disagree, and don’t engage them. Once they’ve calmed down, we can make an excuse to get away, or find a time to sneak away. Then we can seek support from family, friends, and/or the authorities if our safety has been threatened. And we should probably leave them (because they probably will become abusive). More often than not, though, we will not be in physical danger. If you are not in physical danger, do not faun. Once we’ve assessed and realized we’re not in danger, we can move on to engaging with the person.
Elaborating on “if you’re not in physical danger, do not faun.” If we faun, we’re contributing to the power imbalance in the relationship. We’re teaching them that yelling works, that it’s an effective way to get what they want (us agreeing with them, us not talking anymore, us dropping the subject, them deciding what we talk about, us doing what they say, and so on). Examples of not fauning: make eye contact, stand/sit up straight with dignity, don’t agree with things you don’t actually agree with, don’t say yes when you want to say no and vice versa, don’t apologize for things you didn’t do or things that are not your fault, speak as clearly as you can (and not too quietly), don’t lie to appease them or in an effort to end the argument (stand in your truth).
Don’t yell back. This just adds fuel to the fire, and it certainly does nothing to diffuse the situation. If we want to have a discussion without yelling, we cannot yell — it’s that simple.
Ask them kindly and respectfully to stop yelling or to lower their voice. It’s important here that we don’t say this in a condescending tone, like we’re their parent or something. No one likes to be spoken to this way. It’s demeaning; when we “correct” people, it implies to them that we believe we are above them. A relationship is a partnership. Our partner needs to know that we’re on their team, that the reason we want them not to yell is so that the two of us can resolve this as best as we can for us both, and grow closer as a result. Not that we think they’re bad for yelling; shame is not a good motivator for change. One partner may have more knowledge and experience with emotional regulation, but that doesn’t mean they’re better. Our relationships (partners, friends, family, etc.) are our greatest catalysts for growth — we are reflected in them; they show us what we lack and what our strengths are. We learn from one another. In relationships, the best way to get our points across and to connect with one another is to speak kindly to each other, with love.
If they don’t stop yelling, maintain your calm and loving voice as much as you can. Sometimes just being calm helps the other person calm down. If we create a space for them where they feel safe, they might be able to calm down themselves. If nothing else, speaking this way will probably not make them angrier, which will get us back (faster) to actually talking. If they still don’t stop yelling, we can ask for a time out, or just take one if they say they want to continue. “This isn’t a discussion. We’re not connecting, we’re not working toward a solution. I want to hear your side, I want to figure this out together. But we can only do that when we’ve calmed down.”
If they eventually stop yelling, I suggest you don’t bring up the yelling at that time, but you can definitely thank them, “thank you for lowering your voice, I feel a lot closer to you like this. Now we can get to the heart of what’s bothering you.” Or something along those lines. Another day or later that day, perhaps we can bring up the yelling, letting them know that when they yell, we feel disconnected, we feel like they aren’t on our team, that it makes us anxious and then we can’t concentrate on the subject at hand (or however their yelling affects us).
If once you have that discussion about yelling, and they outright refuse to work on it, it’s my opinion that you should seriously consider ending the relationship.
If they are receptive and agree to work on it, discuss your plan for measuring progress. “If in 6 months you’re still yelling this way, I’m going to have to make a difficult decision and leave. I love you and I really want us to work, but I just can’t be in a relationship with someone who yells at me. I believe you can do this, you just need to practice, and I’ll help you. When you start to yell, I can remind you that we’re trying to avoid that. Realistically, what do you think we can keep an eye on to let us know you’re making progress? In one month, two months, three months of working on it, how will we be able to see your progress?” Progress can look like: yelling less frequently, not yelling as loud, calming down quicker, etc. Create a plan together, and talk about it every now and then. Reward any progress you see. And remember not to treat them like they’re your “project,” this is a journey you’re on together. And remember — set a time limit; this type of thing can easily turn into an endless cycle of trying and feeling defeated. People often spend years in this tug of war. We can’t change people, we can only guide them — and only if they are willing.
Thanks for the question! And I hope that helps. I know my responses are a little long-winded; I swear I try to cut out what’s unnecessary 😄 I’m just so extra lol. I hope you have a lovely day as well, take care 🥰
~ Bella 💙
Ps. For anyone who wants to read the original question & answer this person is referring to, here it is. I talk about regulating our emotions while someone is yelling at us.
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disneygirl626 · 4 years
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Peter Parker x Reader :Journey: (2/2)
(Y/n) stood sideways in front of the mirror, a frown etched deep in her features.
“If you keep frowning like that your face is going to get stuck.”
She jumped and turned, watching her husband walk over to her. “Haha, very funny.”
“What’re you doing anyway?” Peter asked with a chuckle.
“Pete, look, the baby bump is already showing! They’re going to see right through me!” (Y/n) said, looking back at the mirror and placing her hands on her stomach.
While she was right, there was a bump, that’s also all it was. A bump. Barely even that, to be honest.
“Honey, I don’t think they’ll notice it,” Peter said, wrapping his arms around his wife from behind. His hands landed on her stomach and she smiled.
“What time is dinner again?” (Y/n) asked.
“Pepper said to be there at 6, but Tony said 7 so I have no idea,” Peter said, earning a laugh from (Y/n).
“May and Happy are coming too, right?” (Y/n) asked.
“Yep. How do you think we should tell everyone about the baby?” Peter asked.
“I don’t know. There’s so many options!” (Y/n) had been watching YouTube videos all day in preparation. She figured this is something they should’ve planned beforehand, but time had gotten away from her and before she knew it it was the day of the dinner and they still had no plan.
“We could do the picture thing,” Peter suggested.
“But who would take it?” (Y/n) asked as she went back to getting ready.
Peter plopped down on their bed with a bounce. “Oh yeah… Why don’t we do the onesie thing? Where it says ‘coming soon’ or something like that.”
“I think you have to have those custom made,” (Y/n) said.
The couple sat in silence, each racking their brains to think of something.
“What do you think of the ultrasound idea?” (Y/n) asked.
“Nah, it needs to be more creative,” Peter said, making his wife smirk.
“What’s that look for?” Peter asked, grinning.
“You’re just adorable,” (Y/n) said.
Peter’s grin widened before it slowly started to fade. “Have you.. have you thought anymore about telling your parents?”
His wife’s smile faded as well. After (Y/n) had gotten engaged to Peter, she and her family had gotten into a huge argument with her family. Her parents highly disapproved of Peter and wanted (Y/n) to go back to school instead of settling down so quickly.
They’d been invited to the wedding but no one had shown up. When Tony found out about that, he had offered to walk (Y/n) down the aisle and give her away. To say that she had started crying was an understatement.
Anyway, she hadn’t heard from her family since before the wedding so she hadn’t planned on telling them about the baby.
“I’ve thought about it. I just don’t know, Peter. There’s only two ways this could go and neither of them are good.”
“It’s completely up to you, (N/n). I’ll support whatever you choose,” Peter said. (Y/n) gave him a small smile.
She finished getting ready, but couldn’t shake that thought out of her head. If she did try to call them they could either ignore her or answer and give her a lecture about how she’s too young to be a mom and yada yada yada.
Her and Peter discussed how to surprise the rest of the family during the whole ride to the compound and came up with the perfect plan.
(Y/n) began shaking with nervous excitement as they pulled up to the compound.
“You ok?” Peter asked, frowning a little bit.
“Mhm,” she replied, climbing out of the car as May came to greet them.
“Hi guys!” she said happily. She ran over to (Y/n) and squeezed her in a hug. “I’ve missed you both!”
(Y/n) laughed as she hugged May. “We’ve missed you too!”
“Are you ok? You look… different. Not bad different, just different. Like you’re… glowing almost.”
(Y/n) froze for a split second. Peter saved her from having to answer as he walked over and squeezed his aunt in a hug.
May eyed (Y/n) suspiciously as the trio headed inside, but she didn’t say anything else about it.
“Hey, lovebirds,” Tony said with a grin.
Peter rolled his eyes but (Y/n) just smirked. The night continued on with (Y/n) on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She was sure they saw right through her. What if they weren’t happy about it? What if they thought they were too young to be parents? Her mom had been in her life, but she wasn’t exactly the best mom in the world. What if she wasn’t a good mom? What if-
“Hey.”
(Y/n) pulled herself out of her spiral of worry and looked up to find her husband watching her with a frown. “You ok?” he whispered, giving her hand a squeeze.
She forced a smile and nodded. “I’m ok. Just… tired I guess.”
Peter didn’t look like he believed her, but they didn’t have the chance to talk about it before FRIDAY announced the takeout they ordered had arrived.
As they sat around the living room and munched on the food, (Y/n) caught her husband’s eye and nodded, biting her lip in a smile. Her hands trembled as she handed May and Happy and Tony and Pepper a small gift as the conversation died down.
“What’s this?” May asked suspiciously, eyeing the small rectangle box with a little smile.
“A present,” (Y/n) replied, sitting next to Peter and taking his hand.
The couple’s opened their respective boxes, pulling out a sandwich baggie with ‘Spider-baby coming soon!’ written on it and a positive pregnancy stick in it.
Pepper was the first to catch on. She let out a happy little scream and jumped up, throwing the baggie at Tony in the process.
(Y/n) stood as Pepper practically bounced over and threw her arms around her and Peter. (Y/n) laughed as May caught on next, having about the same reaction as Pepper. Happy and Tony caught on shortly after that. They were excited but their reaction was a bit calmer than the women.
The months seemed to fly by after that. The first trimester had been rough. Morning sickness had hit (Y/n) like a brick wall. Most of the time she could only eat a couple saltines and drink some chicken broth.
There had been one point where they’d almost had to go see Helen, but thankfully everything worked itself out. They did call Dr. Cho a couple times, but without being able to actually see (Y/n), she had to guess it was from the radiation that changed Peter’s DNA.
“But-but he or she isn’t going to be an actual spider-baby, right?” (Y/n) had asked, having gone pale.
“No, I don't think so, (Y/n). He or she might have some powers, but I highly doubt it,” Helen had replied.
During the second trimester, the morning sickness gradually left and (Y/n) was hit with a whole bunch of cravings. The second trimester became (Y/n)’s favorite part of the pregnancy. She was able to actually eat normal food without puking her guts out ten minutes later and she felt great!
“(Y/n), are you sure you should be up there?”
“Ned, relax, it’s just a ladder.”
“Exactly, it’s a ladder! It could topple over at any second!”
“It won’t if you’re holding it.”
Ned tightened his grip on the metal ladder as he watched one of his best friends attempt to paint the wall in front of her. They were keeping the baby’s gender a surprise until he or she was born, so they had been a pretty sage green for the walls.
Peter was returning tomorrow night from a  business trip with Stark Industries, so (Y/n) had called Ned and MJ to come help her decorate the nursery to surprise Peter.
The puking from the first trimester had taken its toll on (Y/n). She was a lot thinner now, except for the growing bump, and got dizzy pretty easily.
(Y/n) inched closer to the wall, much to Ned’s dismay. “(Y/n), do I need to call MJ?”
“No, I’m perfectly capable of doing this,” (Y/n) said, tongue poking out the side of her mouth as she concentrated on not hitting the ceiling.
“Capable of doing what?” MJ asked as she walked in. She carried bags from various baby stores, which she set in a pile in the middle of the room.
“(Y/n)’s trying to give me a heart attack,” Ned replied.
Said woman glared at him. “Am not.”
“(Y/n), do you really think you should be up there? What if you have a dizzy spell?” MJ asked, crossing her arms.
“I’ll be fine. Just let me get this last part then I’ll - oh!”
MJ and Ned raced over, but (Y/n) didn’t fall. Instead, she dropped the roller as her hand flew to her bump.
“What? What’s wrong?” Ned asked.
“He or she kicked!” (Y/n) said, grinning. She got down from the ladder and grabbed her friend’s hands, placing them on her belly. The baby kicked again, making grins pull at Ned and MJ’s lips.
“I wish Peter was here!” (Y/n) said, smiling bigger than she had  in a while.
“(Y/n)?” someone called, making all three heads turn to the living room.
“Peter!” (Y/n) said happily, running to the doorway. She planted a kiss on his lips before grabbing his hand and putting it on her belly.
“(Y/n), what-?”
“Shh! Just watch!”
Sure enough, the baby kicked Peter’s hand. “Whoa!”
He grinned and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.
The third trimester brought cramps, swollen feet, and weekly checkups. As the baby grew bigger, (Y/n)’s body began having a hard time adjusting. She became iron deficient and was confined to bed rest within the last couple weeks of her pregnancy due to other complications.
“Peter, I swear, I’ll be ok. Go be Spider-man for a little bit. I’ll call you if anything happens,” (Y/n) said, giving her husband’s hand a squeeze.
“But-”
“No buts. Baby and I will be ok, I promise.”
“What if you have to go to the bathroom? Or what if you get hungry?” Peter asked.
“I called MJ. We’re going to have a girls night,” (Y/n) said, one hand rubbing her large stomach while the other held her husband’s hand tightly.
Peter hesitated. “You swear you’ll call me if anything happens?”
“Yes,” (Y/n) said with a loving smile.
“Fine. I’ll only be gone for a few hours though, ok?”
“Ok. Stay safe, love,” (Y/n) said, pecking his lips before he got up.
“You too,” Peter said. He gave her belly a kiss before suiting up and jumping out the window.
“I will never get used to that,” (Y/n) sighed.
MJ showed up half an hour later and the girls filled up with junk food and cheesy rom-coms.
“So when are you due?” MJ asked as she left to refill the popcorn bucket.
“Two more weeks. But we don’t even know if it’ll actually happen on that day,” (Y/n) said, resting her head on the pillow behind her as she scrolled through Instagram.
A sharp pain shot through her body, making her wince. She didn’t think much of it, it’s been happening a lot lately. Then water began pooling under her thighs. She paled and muttered a curse.
“Uh.. Michelle?”
“I’m coming! Don’t play the movie yet!” MJ called back.
“MJ, my water broke!”
A crash came from the kitchen as MJ ran back into the bedroom. “Are you ok? Does anything hurt?”
“No-no, I’m ok. What-what should I do?” (Y/n) said as the situation began to set in.
“Call Peter. I’ll get your bag and your shoes,” MJ said.
(Y/n) had never been more thankful for her friend’s calmness before now. She tried her husband five times before giving up and leaving a message. She then tried Tony, who answered on the third ring.
“Hey, (Y/n), what’s up?”
“Tony, my water just broke and I can’t get a hold of my husband. I sent him out to be Spider-man for a little bit, but now he’s not answering!”
“OK, stay calm, (N/n). I’ll go look for him and make sure everything’s ok. Are you by yourself?”
“No, MJ is here with me. Call me when you find him!” (Y/n) said as MJ ran back in with (Y/n)’s sandals and hospital bag.
“Will do, kid.”
They hung up and called the hospital. Due to all of her complications so far, they told her to come in right away.
So MJ hailed a cab and helped her very pregnant friend down the stairs and into said cab. ON the way, they call Ned who met them at the hospital.
(Y/n) was called back into a room almost immediately with her friends by her side.
“Anything from Tony?” (Y/n) asked MJ.
As if on cue, her phone began ringing. MJ put it on speaker and said, “Tony? Did you find him?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. We’re on our way now. How’s she doing?”
“I’m fine, just get here quickly please!” (Y/n) said.
“We’re almost there!” Tony said before they hung up.
Well, after that phone call things rapidly went downhill. They gave her an epidural, and shortly after that (Y/n)’s blood pressure began dropping drastically, resulting in some panicked nurses and doctors.
(Y/n) began having trouble staying awake and the epidural wasn’t even working, which meant she was still in pain.
“MJ!”
MJ and Ned looked up from the seat they’d claimed as Peter and Tony ran in. Peter had a black eye and a cut on his cheek, but other than that he looked ok.
“Where is she? Is she ok?” Peter asked.
“Her blood pressure is dropping. They kicked us out,” Ned said.
“She’s in that room,” MJ said, pointing discreetly to the room across from them.
Peter raced in to find his pregnant wife pale and asleep while a doctor and nurse talked next to her. They both looked up when Peter walked in.
“I’m Peter, I’m her husband. What’s going on?” he said quickly.
“We’re going to have to do an emergency c-section, it’s not healthy for your wife or your baby if we try to wait,” the doctor said.
So that’s what happened. Almost three hours later, the Spider-baby was brought into the world and (Y/n)’s blood pressure started rising back to normal. She woke up almost thirty minutes after the baby was born to find Peter sitting next to her bed and holding her hand.
“Is the baby ok? Where-what happened?” she asked weakly.
“The baby is great. They have her in the NICU just to be safe for a couple days, but they said as soon as you feel like it we can go visit  her,” Peter said, a soft smile on his face.
“Her? It’s a girl?” (Y/n) asked, smiling.
“We have a daughter, (N/n),” Peter said.
They found (Y/n) a wheelchair then went straight to the NICU.
“You must be Baby Parker’s parents. She’s doing great, she should be able to leave in a few days,” a nurse said with a kind smile.
“Thank you,” Peter said.
“Pete, she’s so beautiful,” (Y/n) said with tears in her eyes.
“What should we name her?” Peter asked.
“You pick the first name and I’ll pick the middle name,” (Y/n) said.
“Clara,” Peter said almost instantly.
“May,” (Y/n) said, just as quickly.
They smiled. “Clara May Parker.”
——
A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for reading! I know I brought up the parent thing, then never did anything with it so I was thinking of doing a little spinoff oneshot of this later on. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed these twoshots!
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lilydalexf · 3 years
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with Tabula Rasa
Tabula Rasa has 8 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files fics at AO3 and her website. She writes Mulder and Scully in a very lovely way. I've recced 3 of my favorites of her fics here before: Bird in Snow, Fall: East on M St, and Skuamorph. Big thanks to Tabula Rasa for doing this interview.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
I'm always extremely pleasantly surprised to get kudos (or, very rarely, a comment) on my old fic, but I'm always happy to see it! I did post them all (I think) to AO3. I'm not surprised people are still reading fic, though. It's an iconic show and now with streaming, it's really easy to watch older shows and natural to want fic about them!
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
XF was my first fandom, definitely my first online fandom, and so it will always have a special place in my heart. Also... I had a great time! I stumbled upon and joined the Scullyfic email list by accident, but it was the best thing I could have done. I learned a lot about how to be a writer and how to be in fandom, and those lessons are still important to me. Foundational. Also, in terms of modern fandom drama, XF was more low-key on the drama (although it didn't seem like it at the time!). But I learned something that's always served me well: find like-minded people, and hang out with them. Don't worry about the rest.
Also... you can't control the show, but you kind of can control the canon.
Because of Scully, I ended up taking a forensic anthropology class in university-- and now I have a Master's in a forensic science! Part of the Scully Effect, and proud of it!
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
Definitely mostly email list! I never really got the hang of message boards. Posting fic was exhausting, and tbh I never figured out how to work Ephemeral. I checked it every day, though! I loved, after a new episode, everyone sending in their thoughts and reading everyone's experiences together. Fandom was a lot more work back then, tbh!
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
That fic can be just as good, or better, than traditionally published works. There are works of XF fic that have stuck with me for years now, far more than some books I've read. That fan writers can know the characters better than the show writers. The fandom in general was really smart, and mostly more adult than me (I joined fandom when I went away to college, so I always felt at the younger end of the scale. That was good though!).
Also, my first time reading and writing porn. Not gonna lie, I was shocked the first time I accidentally read smut. But I adjusted fast. lol
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
I was still a kid (now we would say preteen) when the show premiered- I think in middle school. But I was already into ghosts, aliens, monsters, solving mysteries, and I'd already imprinted on the dynamic thanks to Square One (really)! I was also just old enough to start developing celebrity crushes. Hilariously, I did not twig to the fact that I'm bisexual the entire time I was in XF fandom, despite having enormous crushes on BOTH Mulder and Scully. Ahhhh!
Also, my whole family was into the show, but I was definitely the one with the hyperfixation. I used to take notes and record the episodes as I watched. It just had the right stuff and hit at the right time. And I've always been obsessive.
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
As a kid I also really liked Star Trek, and someone had given my dad a book about the history of Star Trek, which I read. This included mentions of fandom and fanfic. As soon as I had a private-- and perhaps more importantly fast-- internet connection (in college), I went looking for XF fanfic, and that was that. Hooked immediately. Also I shipped them A LOT so that's what I went looking for.
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
I tend to not go back to a fandom once I have a new fandom, so I wouldn't say I'm in it. I did hang around the edges for the revival, of course, because I wanted to experience that with the same people, but since the revival was mostly not that great (with a few exceptions), I didn't get pulled back into it. But I still think of the people I knew in the fandom a lot, and always hope they're doing well.
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
I've never left fandom, and I've been in a BUNCH: Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Bandom, Supernatural, now CQL/The Untamed and other Chinese-media fandoms, with many smaller ones in between or on the side. I feel like at their core fandoms tend to be similar, although where you host the fandom makes a big difference: Livejournal, tumblr, twitter. I think that because fandoms now tend to be bigger and more diverse (which is good) there tends to be more wank (which is bad). In some of them I was close to a group of people, some of them not. Honestly the best thing is when someone you know from an old fandom is in your new fandom. It's so much fun. I have really good friends thanks to fandom, and I've had them for YEARS. Like. 15 years.
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
I tend to focus more on ships than characters, but some of my all-time favs: Scully, Hermione, Sirius Black, Castiel, Lan Wangji, Xie Lian. That's just fandom-oriented ones, otherwise we'd be here all day. :D
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
I don't often rewatch episodes any more, although if I come across an ep on tv I might. I definitely still think about them though! For example, I'm a teacher now, and just a couple weeks ago one of my colleagues mentioned he'd heard the students saying they shipped two of their classmates, and he was like "Ship? I don't get it" and I was like "HOO BOY, do I have a story for you!" And I explained how shipping came from XF fandom, and why. That was fun. I definitely still think about Mulder and Scully too-- I mean, they're cultural touchstones, so they do come up sometimes in greater pop culture. Also, I was in Hannibal fandom for a while, and Gillian Anderson is still The Best.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
I haven't read XF fic in years, even the ones I remember as being really significant/important to me. I still have my all-time favs saved on an external HD though! Fic in another fandom- every day lol.
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
Blinded by White Light by DashaK has stuck with me. Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Ruby-Throated Warbler by I forget I'm so sorry -- that's lasted as my ideal post-canon MSR and as an interesting and different way to tell a story.  [Lilydale note: It’s by rah.] I was always thrilled to see fic by Brandon, JET, MaybeAmanda, Syntax6... and, frankly, everyone on the Scullyfic/ Emuse list. So many talented people in that fandom!
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
Things Outside, which is the only thing I've ever written based on a dream, and I'm really satisfied with it. It was hard to write but so much fun to revel in the weirdness. I always kind of wanted to write more because I know a lot more about the situation, but otoh, I like the open, ambiguous ending (usually I am very HEA).
In other fandoms, King & Country in bandom (MCR) and in Supernatural I'm very proud of Hope and Clay. I struggle to write casefics even though I love to read them, but that one really worked out.
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
I don't think I'll ever write something new. There is an old fic that may be done but it was smut so I was too shy to post it at the time. In theory if I find it and it's decent, I could post it!
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
I do! I write fic very slowly, but I do write still! I have a million ideas for stories, but I'm so slow at the actual writing part.
Where do you get ideas for stories?
I usually take a jumping-off point from canon, or of course, something I need to fix or expand on. Or sometimes I start telling myself a story as I fall asleep and the idea grabs me long enough I can manage to write it.
What's the story behind your pen name?
I was getting into fandom and realized people didn't use their real names. I flipped through my history book looking for inspiration, and decided tabula rasa was a great name for a writer. I tend to add an X because it's rare to get "tabularasa" as a username, and the X is indeed for X-Files (so I'm something like tabulaxrasa most places). I usually go by Tabula Rasa or Tab, though. And I still use it because 1) it IS a great name for a writer; and 2) it's not fandom-specific so I can keep it in every fandom.
I identify with it so much I have answered to this name in class (oops). I have a "Tab" t-shirt (as in the soda, but I have worn it to Comic-Con for ease of ID-- better than a nametag!). And my mom got me a necklace with a "tab" typewriter key as a charm, which I adore. Yes, I have accidental merch of myself.
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
As you can tell from the above, my family knows (my family being my parents and sister). They are supportive! I think my mom read a couple stories? But obviously she has to know the fandom to get it... I got my sister into fic, and we even wrote a couple fics together (in Gundam Wing). She's a lot more selective about fandoms, but she's joined fandoms on her own, too. She's just not in one constantly, like me. :p
I tend not to tell not-online friends unless I have felt them out and know they're super fannish, or they bring it up first.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
Most of my old fic is now on AO3 and I hang out on twitter a lot, @tabula_x_rasa
Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?
I'm really glad people are still in this fandom! It will always be so important to me. Thank you Lilydale, for this nostalgia trip!
(Posted by Lilydale on March 30, 2021)
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ellivia · 3 years
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If your daughter were to come out to you, how would you like her to do so? Like, what would be the easiest way for you to hear that? What would you like her to do? I’m trying so hard to get the courage to come out to my mom, who is pretty open-minded but who I know also has envisioned a very specific life in plan for me (stereotypical wedding, grandkids, son in law whom she adores etc). So she’s accepting, but it’s kind of the whole “never thought it would happen to me” scenario. I know they say you have to give parents time to adjust to a new idea of the future - and I know you’d be like the most accepting parent in the world so she’s not 100% the same as you in that regard but like....from a mom’s perspective, any tips?
Let me preface this by saying that I can only speak for myself here. I’m also gonna put it under a cut so I don’t clog up feeds.
Your mom loves you. I’m sure that above all else, she wants nothing more than for you to be happy, no matter what that looks like. If she’s as set on the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, blah blah blah as you say she is, it could take her a minute to wrap her mind around the fact that it might not happen that way, but that doesn’t mean she loves you any less.
If one of my kids was going to come out to me, I’ve kind of envisioned it this way: they tell me they’re dating someone, I start asking mom questions, and then they say “it’s another boy/girl/enby” and I say, “sweet, when do I get to meet them?”
If you think your mom may not have the reaction you’re hoping for, maybe you could start by talking about a gay friend of yours first (if you have one). Kind of get the idea in her head and make it closer to home, you know? It might be a good way to judge how she feels about things. Then, after a while, when you feel more comfortable, you can sit her down to tell her. I don’t know your mom, so I can’t tell you exactly how to do it, but assuming you feel safe enough (not afraid to be kicked out if you still live at home, etc.) being direct is probably the best way to go about it. Sit her down, tell her there’s something important you need to talk to her about, and say your piece.
Like I said, if she’s worth her salt as a mom, she will love and accept you for who you are. I hope that if and when you do tell her, you’ll come back and let me know how it went. And just know that even if it goes badly, I’ve got your back, and there is a whole community of people here who are very supportive and loving. I wish you nothing but peace and happiness, anon. ❤️❤️❤️
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makaias-trash-heap · 3 years
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Soooooo lately ya girl here has been running into a lot of writing issues so I gave something a try...BACK TO BASICS FOR WHAT I ORIGINALLY MADE THIS BLOG FOR!!! First time I’ve written anything for my favorite Tsundere in a while. Enjoy!! Just more of my own self indulgent writing while I have no requests.
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“Sooooo, guess who I just heard from.” 
Shin glanced up from his book with his usual blank expression, “Why not just tell me?”
Mira smiled and rolled her eyes slightly, “My parents. They called and asked me to come over for dinner for my sister's birthday this weekend.” She stated, plopping on the couch next to him.
Mirdorima raised an eyebrow giving her an intrigued look, “This is the first time they've wanted you over since we've been together nanodayo.” 
Mira hummed in agreement leaning into his side, naturally causing him to blush like always. 
“Are you going?” 
Mira shook her head, “Probably not.”
“Why not?”
“Shin, my family and I haven't gotten along in years. I've tried going over a few times and it always ends in a fight.”
She ignored the look he gave her in favor of playing with his fingers, a habit she picked up on when he still tapped them.
“Mira, they're still your family nanodayo. We've been together for nearly 3 years and I don't recall you seeing them at all.”
“Not true, I've seen my brother.”
“Mira.”
“Look, I don't want to go because I don't want to fight and that's exactly what will happen. Especially going now.”
He gave Mira a slight confused look, “What does that mean?”
She sighs turning to face him, “We've been together for about 3 years and aren’t engaged, I'm perfectly with how things have been going but my parents are incredibly judgmental and will nag and question why. There's also the fact that I’m 2 years older than you. And even though it’s incredibly stupid, my parents will not agree with the fact that I'm with someone younger than me. And to top all of that off I'm pregnant out of wedlock, big no no to my parents. We also fight about my brother everytime I'm there. I guess they invited him too so this is going to be twice the chaos.” 
Midorima adjusted his glasses looking down at her, “I understand these situations can be uncomfortable, but they're still your family and you haven't seen them in years. For all you know they may have changed from the last time you saw them.” 
Mira halfheartedly glared at him and sighed realizing this wasn't going anywhere, “You aren't letting this go until I agree to go are you?”
“I don't intend to.”
“Fine. But if I have to deal with them you're coming with me.”
He turned his full attention to her, “What! Why am I involved in this?”
“You got involved when you bugged me into going. And besides, as you've said, we've been together for 3 years, and you've yet to meet my family.”
If looks could kill Mira would be dead right now, multiple times over. 
“You'll see why I don't get along with them and I promise you'll never end up going with them again and you won't bug me into it.”
Midorima lets out a sigh leaning back into his seat, “I suppose. When are we supposed to be there?”
“Saturday at 5.” 
(Skip to weekend)
“Remind me again why we're here?” Mira groaned as they pulled up in front of her parents house. She ignored the slightly surprised look that snuck his way to his face. She’d given him warning that her family was pretty well off. 
He recovered quickly enough, “Because they're your family nanodayo.”
Mira rolled her eyes trying to mentally prepare herself for the interaction tonight. They climbed out of the car and started making their way up to the house. Mira spotted her brother coming up the sidewalk and waved.
“So you decided to come too huh.” Kenjuro said, returning the gesture.
“Not really, Shin forced me into it. I'm kinda surprised you came though.” 
He shrugged, “Boyfriend forced me to. He offered to come for moral support but you and I both know that that would have been a really bad idea.”
“How’s Reo-chan doing?” Mira asked as they started walking up the sidewalk to the house.
“Good. I watched him play basketball with his old team from high school. So that was kinda exciting .”
They finally reached the door and stood awkwardly glancing at each other until Midorima gently nudged her forward.
“Ok ok sheesh.”
Mira knocked on the door secretly hoping that her parents would ignore them and not answer….sadly that did not happen. Much to her dismay her sister Aika answered the door. 
“Hey Kenjuro, Mira.” Aika greeted them with a fake sweet smile.
“Hey Aika, happy birthday.”
Mira slipped past her with Kenjuro and toed her my shoes off pulling Midorima in behind her. 
“Hello Mira, Kenjuro. We're glad you could make it.” Her parents appeared at the door to greet them
“Hey mom, hey dad.” Mira forced a smile. 
“Who is your guest Mira?”
“Oh, right, Um, mom dad, this is Midorima Shintarou, my boyfriend. Shin, these are my parents.” 
“It's nice to meet you Hashigawa-San.” Midorima politely greeted her parents. 
“The pleasure is ours. Please right this way. Dinner is almost ready.”
Everyone started filing into the dining room, Mira and Midorima following behind last. 
“I don't understand your concern. Your parents seem rather pleasant.” He mumbled quietly so only Mira could hear it. 
“Oh, just wait for dinner. That's usually when the show starts.”
They all took a seat at the table, Kenjuro sitting as far as possible from their parents. Which left Mira and her sister to sit by them. Midorima sat next to Mira starting to notice the awkward atmosphere.
“So Mira. It's been a while since we've last spoken. What have you been up to?” Her father asked after a few moments of silence.
Mira hesitated a second before preparing to answer, this most likely this wasn’t going to go well.
“Working mostly, I just finished up art school not that long ago so I've been working freelance for a while. Making films for tourist companies, helping design Billboards, things like that.” 
Her parents stayed quiet before turning their attention to Midorima.
“Midorima-San, may I ask what you do for a living?”
“I am going into the medical field. I'm currently working on my internship at the hospital.” Midorima straightened up answering.
Mira’s father nodded, “Then a man as logical as you, you can't support this crazy dream of hers.”
Midorima froze and glanced at Mira before answering, “It's her decision to make and if it's something that she feels strongly about then naturally she has my support.” 
Her father was about to say something when he was cut off, “Now now dear, we're trying to have a nice civilized dinner tonight. Ok, this is a discussion we can have another time.”
Mira quickly turned her attention back to her food to avoid more questions. It worked for a while. Although this point Midorima was very uncomfortable. Kenjuro followed Mira’s lead but he's usually safe from questions. Their parents hate the fact that he's gay so they usually don't even acknowledge that part of his life. 
“Mira.” 
Mira looked up from her plate to see her mom holding the wine bottle out to her.
“Oh no thank you mom. I'm good.”
Aika snorted across the table, “wow, you of all people are turning down alcohol?”
Mira rolled her eyes, “do you really want to go there Aika?”
She shrugged, “I'm just saying for a while here sobriety was not your strong suit,” Mira shot a glare at her across the table, “oops sorry, did your boyfriend not know about that?”
“Do mom and dad know you've been sneaking into the liquor cabinet since you were like 14?” Mira shot right back at her.
Of course he knows, he helped her get her act cleaned up. Still a rather sensitive topic right now.
“Ok that's enough you two.” 
Mira rolled her eyes at her dads warning, ready to leave. On top of the unpleasant conversation, the constant nausea from the morning sickness was rough on her today.
“Mira, you ok?” Kenjuro asked, starting to notice her discomfort.
She just nodded waiting for the nausea to subside, “Yeah, stomach is just a little upset.”
Naturally Aika didn't seem to miss a thing.
“Oh my god you're pregnant aren't you?”
Mira immediately tensed up, hoping to completely avoid this topic, “What are you talking about?”
“You aren’t drinking which is pretty out of the ordinary for you, you’re randomly sick and I’ve noticed the weight gain.” Aika quickly insinuated.
Mira didn't answer, deciding instead just to get up and get ready to leave. Midorima grabbed her hand to stop her, it seems like he has other plans.
“They were going to eventually find out Mira.” He said, looking up at her.
“Is that a confirmation?” Her father looked back and forth between them waiting for an answer.
Mira sighs, “Yeah dad, it is. I'm pregnant.” 
Neither of the parents said anything right away. The tension gathering in the air was enough to show that this news was about to be either very well accepted or very poorly.
“We had the perfect life laid out for you. All you had to do was do as you were told and follow it.” Her father started to lecture, “First you turn down one of the best universities in Japan, and then rather than going to any university at all for a real career, you start to follow this ridiculous idea at some art school, and now you're 23 and pregnant. You couldn't have at least been decent enough to get married before spreading your legs for the first guy to take interest in you?!” 
For the first time in an argument with them, Mira was speechless. Her father certainly had a tendency to be cruel, but that was low even for him. He continued yelling, Kenjuro and Aika eventually getting involved in the argument. Mira started to tune out the yelling. This whole night has done nothing but stress her out, and stress is not good for her right now. She felt a sharp pain rip through her abdomen and lower back which snapped her back to reality and the current argument at hand.
“I don't understand where I went wrong with the two of you. My son is a faggot and my daughter is a who-”
“That's enough,” Mirodrima said sternly, “I understand you don't agree with Mira’s life choices. But you cannot control her. She is an adult and it's still her decision to make. As for her being pregnant. No it's not ideal timing right now. My parents were rather disappointed as well. 
We’re not married, and I’m only 21 years old and in medical school while starting this family, but we’re doing it. And my parents have never once referred to myself or Mira in such a derogatory manner.”
“Shintarou.” Mira grabbed his hand and squeezed to get his attention. 
He crouched by her side, “What's wrong?”
“Can we go? I'm starting to cramp badly and I'm just ready to go home.” She whined starting to stand up.
“Yeah let's go, but I'm going to call your doctor to make sure that things are ok before we go home.” 
He helped her stand up and started walking with her to the front door. He occasionally glared back behind them to make sure their family got the hint to leave them alone. Kenjro followed behind them to the car. Midorima helped her into the passenger seat taking her keys to drive.
“Feel better sis, call me later so I know things are ok.” 
Kenjuro closed the door and then went around to talk to Midorima who was on the phone. Once he hung up he turned his attention to Kenjuro to talk to him before climbing into the car.
“How are you feeling? Are you still in pain?” 
She shook her head, “No, it stopped for now. I just feel really sick now.”
He nodded and started the car. The ride home was fairly silent as he focused on the road and Mira focused on not throwing up. He pulled up to their apartment and he quickly came around to her side in case she needed help getting inside. 
“Your doctor said that as long as you aren't bleeding and you don't continue to be in pain that you should be ok. Sometimes some cramping isn’t uncommon, especially in stressful situations. But if they start again she wants us to come immediately,” He explained while they were settling in the bedroom, “so if you're in pain like that again I don't care what time it is wake me up and we’ll go ok.” 
Mira nodded changing into one of his shirts to sleep.
“Why do you insist on stealing my clothes all the time, you have your own dresser full of them.” He grumbled and changed as well.
“Oh stop whining,” She teased looking back at him, “I only steal your shirts and it's only for bed. Besides you never wear these.” 
He grumbled under his breath again while he settled in bed. Mira crawled in next to him and curled up into his side. He's finally used to cuddling with her...it only took him forever to do so. He turned on the lamp on his side of the bed signaling that he planned on reading for a bit before bed.
“Don't fall asleep with your glasses on again.” Mira said rolling over to turn off the light.
He scoffed, “that was once.”
She chuckled, situating herself into a comfortable position to drift off. Mira was nearly asleep when Midorima poked her in her back to get her attention.
“Hmm? What's up?” She rolled over and looked at him. 
“What your parents said earlier, it's bothering me.”
She sighed and sat up, “Just ignore it. Don't ever let anything they say bother you. Like you saw they're a bunch of judgmental assholes.”
He shook his head, “Nothing like that. They aren't bothering me. It just has me thinking. Are you really ok with how things are going?”
She cocked an eyebrow at his question, “I told you earlier I was. I mean, so long as you aren't planning on taking off on me anytime soon I'm perfectly fine with how we're doing ok.” 
He nodded, setting his book aside, “we should go to sleep.”
Mira leaned over and kissed Midorima before laying back down, “Goodnight Shin.”
Midorima returned the kiss and put his book away before laying down and wrapping his arm around her, “Goodnight Mira.”
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Meeting and Dating Tom Hagen
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-  Everyone in town knew about the Corleone's, you yourself had heard the occasional rumor or story from friends and coworkers but never in your life would you have imagined you’d meet one of them. 
- When your parents told you they were going to meet with the Godfather you didn’t believe them, or at least you didn’t believe that they were serious. You would soon come to realize that they were when you arrived home from running errands, only to find the families Consigliere sitting at your kitchen table. 
- Your parents enthusiastically introduced the two of you as the man stood to greet you. You had the overwhelming urge to pinch yourself as you shook his hand but instead you excused yourself, trying your best not to look as stunned as you felt. 
- It took him about a month or so to work things out with your parents. In that time, the two of you began to make occasional small talk, mainly when you walked him to the door or while your parents did something in the other room. You were also able to have a few conversations over dinner as your parents would invite him to stay and eat with you. 
- You were more than grateful for his help, finding him to be quite sweet and easy on the eyes; if you did say so yourself. He himself grew to be quite infatuated with you but out of respect for your parents and his usual favor towards not mixing personal life with business, he waited until he was finished with helping your parents before he finally asked you out on a date. 
- For your first date, he took you to a restaurant you’d never been before, some upscale, beautiful place that you could only assume was the usual for him and his family. He, of course, paid for everything, telling you to get anything you desired. 
- All delicious food aside, you really fell for him that night. Without your parents around, you could get a real good look at his true personality and boy did you like what you saw. He was intellectual, poised, polite; refined in a way you weren’t quite used to but particularly enjoyed. You felt like the luckiest girl alive when your night ended and he asked to schedule another date. Unbeknownst to you, he felt like the luckiest guy in the world when you immediately agreed. 
- The two of you shared your first kiss on your fourth date. It was the middle of October and the two of you were taking a long walk through the park together. He stopped to fix your scarf for you but instead of doing so right away, he paused for a moment, looking into your eyes before pulling you closer and pressing his lips to yours. 
- There was no way you could turn back now, and your certainly didn't want to.  
- Tom tries his best to be professional whenever he’s out in public so he tends to limit how much he kisses or touches you. He prefers to save his affection for when you’re behind closed doors. 
- Kisses on the cheek. 
- Candlelit dinners. 
- Occasionally being walked out on when important business comes up. You don’t hold it against him, you knew what you were getting into when you started dating him, but you do wish business could pick a more convenient time to show it’s face.
- Growing close with his sister and sister in laws. You ladies have to stick together, especially when your husbands/boyfriends ditch you to do whatever it is they do when they’re with one another. 
- He loves going clothes shopping with you. He likes to sit back and watch you try things on or get fitted, it gives him the chance to admire you and wonder how he got so lucky. 
- Having a hand on the small of your back whenever you're standing beside him. He does it so much that you feel a little uncomfortable without the familiar warmth there. 
- Trips to the cinema. He’s quite fond of movies, they let him analyze things just for fun which is much less high-stakes than what he usually uses his skills for. 
- Museum dates. 
- Theater dates. You always get the most amazing seats.
- Deep discussions. He likes intellectual conversations, subjects that make him think, not just mindless small talk. He gets talked at most of the time or is busy dealing with things he can do blindfolded so being able to come home and have a genuine conversation is borderline therapeutic. 
- Fixing his hair and adjusting his clothes for him. He thinks its sweet when you fuss over him. 
- He’s an absolute gentleman, if there’s a chivalrous thing he can do then he’s going to do it; its just in his nature. 
- You’ll have whatever you want, whenever you want. Pretty much anything you ask for can be yours, within reason, of course. 
- He calls you things like “darling” and “honey”. He prefers more old school, sort of matrimonial pet names. 
- Waking up to soft kisses. 
- Tom is shrewd; he notices everything. He sees the way you look at certain things, what’s important to you, etc. He takes whatever he sees and stores it away for when he needs it; you may forget about it but he never does. 
- Having little notes left for you when he has to go off on business in the middle of the night or when you're out of the house. Even though you hate not being able to say goodbye, you do think it’s cute that he takes the time to let you know where he is. 
- Forming little routines and holiday traditions with one another. His particular favorite tradition is your yearly carriage ride through central park during the winter season. 
- He prefers quiet nights in over anything else. He’s never been one for thrills or adventure; a cup of tea, good book, and you snuggled into his side is more than enough for him. 
- A very nervous first meeting with his parents. Despite the fact that you’re scared shitless, they seem very fond of you. Vito in particular has a soft spot for you, he’s very happy that you’ll be joining the family one day. 
- Big family affairs; you certainly have to grow accustomed to Corleone parties, they’re a bit more extravagant than you’re used to.
- Family dinners. You find it touching that they want to include you in their more intimate get-togethers.
- He’s basically your shadow whenever you’re together, always sticking close and keeping an eye out for you.
- Pretty much all of the Corleone boys; which, at least to me, includes Tom, are very protective of their girls. No ones going to touch, threaten or even look at you the the wrong way if they have any say in it. And who would dare to cross a Corleone in the first place?
- He’s usually the silent kind of jealous, watching the scene with growing irritation but, for the most part, allowing you to do whatever you please. He doesn’t feel the need to be jealous all that often though. He knows that pretty much anyone in your general vicinity would intervene if the person was trying something with you. 
- He’s good at keeping his polite composure so you often don’t have any idea how he was/is feelings. All you know is his warm smile as he greets you, winding an arm around your waist. 
- Like previously stated: he’s good at keeping his composure which either helps to calm you down when you’re going through something or only makes things worse. Either way, his unfazed nature does, at some point, reassure you that things are alright even if it initially didn’t. 
- He always wants you to come to him when you have a problem or want to make a decision. He wants to be able to support you and help you through things; he hates the idea of you mulling over something stressful all by yourself. 
- You’re definitely treated a lot nicer by people; strangers watch out for you, shop owners become friendly with you, etc. It’s like the whole world’s suddenly accepted you. 
- Your parents are very happy with your choice of boyfriend/potential (well, almost guaranteed) husband. Your mother probably brags to her friends about how her daughters involved with the Corleone's Consigliere. 
- He loves coming home, pulling you close, and being enveloped by your familiar perfume. Its the perfect way for him to wind down after a long day. 
- Occasionally accompanying him on his trips. You obviously stay at the hotel while he goes off and negotiates but you don’t mind having a little bit of alone time in a lavish room. 
- You cuddle in the sweethearts cradle: your face on his chest and his arm wrapped around your shoulders.
- He seems like the type of guy who would enjoy being in the company of dogs so the two of you probably adopt one together. He takes great pleasure in calling you their mother. 
- Getting to hear all the stories from his childhood. He always gets this adorably fond look on his face whenever he’s speaking. 
- Comforting him after deaths in the family and other awful news. 
- He tries to keep you away from his business as much as possible, not wanting to upset you or potentially get you in the crossfire of something. 
- He uses a lot of flattery. Oftentimes he’ll say something sweet when he knows he’s upset or disappointed you, it slightly lessens the blow but never fixes things completely. 
- Toms a lawyer, he’s a good arguer and he’s particularly good at getting what he wants so when you're arguing its almost a sure thing that he’ll win. Not that arguments happen often. 
- He's surprisingly sensitive; certain things cut him deep, especially when they come from the people he cares about. Be kind to him; he deserves it. 
- He says “I love you” sparingly but he shows his love through his actions more than his words. 
- Obviously there’s a marriage in store for you. He’s hoping for a couple kids as well so be prepared for that. 
- You may have a bit of a chaotic life in store for you but I’m sure you wouldn’t change it for the world and neither would he. 
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irondadfics · 4 years
Note
Do you have any long irondad fics you'd recommend? I really want to settle down with a good muti-chapter fic, I'd love to know your favourites!
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LONG FIC REC LIST PART 2
I know some of you are stuck inside due to be quarantined right now, and I really hope each and every one of you are doing alright. Please stay inside if you can and be safe! 
To help pass the time, here’s a continuation of one of our older lists (be sure to also check out part 1 for more recs). During hard times such as this, we often turn to different forms of art for entertainment and to help us cope. BE SURE TO LET THESE WONDERFUL AUTHORS KNOW THEY ARE APPRECIATED! 
This list is organized by word count. Most of the fics listed below are complete but some are not. For example if the word count is encompassed by two asterisks it means the fic is not complete and is subject to change, but the word count is correct as of the day this list was posted. 
ENJOY LOVELIES!!
The Guardian by Emily_F6 @justme–emily (234k+)
Guardian: a person who guards, protects, or preserves. When a terrible accident claims the life of May Parker, Tony Stark steps up as Peter’s guaridan. But it’s not just a traumatized super-teen he’ll have to worry about when he recieves a transmission from Thor.
If They Knew All About You by MsHermia (*224k+*)
Tony Stark had lost his son when he was only 2 years old, stolen away in broad daylight with nobody the wiser of what exactly happened. Years later, Tony has just made it through the disaster with Ultron. He is trying to keep himself and the team together but relationships are strained and tempers are running high.Then a random turn of events leads to his path crossing with that of a particular vigilante. They are strangers to each other, or so they think.Peter Parker is on top of the world. After a few shitty years, losing his parents and then losing his Uncle, things are finally looking up. Sure he lives in a crappy little apartment with his Aunt but he might have just found his mission in life.——This is an AU story obvious by some of the tags. I’m starting out a few weeks after Age of Ultron took place. Civil War will be a thing. Other than that I’m not too concerned about sticking to every canon detail and storyline.
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle (220k+)
Homecoming A/U. Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.So he leaves.Simple.Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on.And that’s when things get complicated.
 Lights To Guide You Home (series) by JolinarJackson @jolinarjackson  (185k+)
Tony becomes Peter’s guardian after May dies unexpectedly and over the course of a year, they learn to become a family.
 hydra’s not a home (series) by tempestaurora @tempestaurora (139k+)
At 6 years old, the son of Tony and Pepper Stark, Peter, is kidnapped, never to be seen again. Or, so they thought. Ten years later, while raiding a HYDRA base, the Avengers come across a new, enhanced individual, working for the enemy: in black spandex, with a tendency to stick to walls and shoot webs from his wrists, the Black Spider is a pain in the ass in more ways than one.
 built from scraps by peterstank @peter-stank (138k+)
“Everybody needs someone. That’s what you said, right?” Pepper meets his eyes and he’s struck by the way she’s almost pleading. “We both lost. We can help each other.”Her hand, palm up and open, stretches into the space between them.Peter hesitates.Then he takes it.or: the one where tony was dusted instead of peter, so he and pepper try to figure out the whole ‘family’ thing together.(oh, and it turns out that the man who died in peter’s arms on an alien planet is his biological father. who knew, right?)
rescue me from the waves (series) by homebuilding @marveal (*125k+*)
“Richard Parker was studying Cross-Species Genetics, but struggled with the ethics of it, because it required he use human DNA, which no ethics board would agree with. So he used his own. His work was successful based off of his own DNA, and every human has a unique DNA,” Bruce explains. “So, naturally, when HYDRA wanted his research, they knew they would never get his support, so they took the next best thing they could to his own DNA. His son.“Or, Tony finds a tortured and experimented-on Peter Parker in a HYDRA base and decides to help him because who else will?
more peril in thine eye by iron_spider @iron–spider (119k+)
Tony sits in relative darkness, the TV on mute, Friday running searches like she has been every day for the past month. A month, since Quentin Beck’s grand plan crumpled underneath him on that bridge. A month, since a flash of light was able to distract Peter just as he was about to bring Beck down. A month, since Beck snatched him, since both of them disappeared. An entire. Month.I’ll keep you updated. I promise.I love you, kid. Rhodey’s on his way, alright? He’s coming. He’s gonna go as fast as he can.I love you too. I’ll be okay. I promise. I can do this.The last thing Tony heard Peter say. Rhodey, Happy and Fury traversed the London landscape immediately afterwards. They found the glasses, but not Spider-Man. There was footage enough to incriminate Beck for what he was, but somehow, nobody was able to get a shot of when he grabbed Peter. Peter was knocking him around, looked like he was getting the upper hand, and then that flash of light. Gone. Gone.
 I Never Knew I Was Broken by GotMyInkPen @gotmyinkpen (*111k+*)
Peter Parker has been living in HYDRA ever since his parents died at age four. All he can remember are the lesson’s HYDRA taught him and a series of words that strike fear into his heart. The only thing driving him forward are the memories of meeting his hero The Winter Soldier when he was seven and the goal to one day be as great an assassin as him.At age sixteen Peter finds himself tangled in the lives of the Avengers and can’t help but wonder if there’s more to life than what he’s been told.Tony wants to help him, no matter what.
 Reviving Peter Parker by YellowDistress @yellowdistress (100k+)
Spider-Man was murdered five years ago, on a beach, at the hands of Adrian Toomes. Peter Parker never came home.Spider-Man was murdered five years ago. Today Peter Parker took his first breath.
 It’s a Secret to Everybody by StarPrince_Punk @starprincepunk (97k+)
“I have kids,“ Clint said. “I know dad behavior when I see it.”Tony blinked multiple consecutive times, processing the statement. “Excuse me?”“Tony,” Steve said now, “how long have you had a son? And how come we’ve never known about him?”“Yeah,” Clint spoke again, “I thought I was the only one with a secret family. Turns out you’ve had one longer than me!”——-Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they’re confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony’s secret son.Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.
 Peter and the Jailbirds by beautifullights @beautifullights1 (86k+)
NOW COMPLETE “If you did play chess,” Ross said, “you’d remember that a pawn can become a queen. The most powerful piece on the board, Parker, remember that? But—” Ross smiled— “only if it obeys.”He adjusted his tie, stood, and looked down at Peter. “I’ll ask you again,” he said. “Eventually. You may feel differently after you’ve been living in a six-by-six cube without sunlight or fresh air for a few years.” “What pawns do,” Peter said, voice shaking slightly, “is sacrifice themselves for the greater good. I have no regrets.”He had a lot of regrets.Like, a lot. A crapton. A shitload. An overloaded dumpsterful.“When I visit you on the Raft,” Ross said, “you’ll be old enough to grow a beard.” The cell door clicked shut behind him. [Rated mature for graphic violence.]
 Hardest Lessons (Softest Results) (series) by mainstreamelectricalparade @riseuplikeglitterandgold (*76k+*)
The MCU if Peter was Tony’s biological child.
 In the Home by aloneintherain (68k+)
The Avengers have been infected, turned violent and aggressive against their will. And Peter, the only one unaffected, is trapped inside the Tower with six feral teammates.“Natasha,” Peter says cautiously, “what happened here? Steve attacked me, and if there was ever a sign that something was wrong, it’s having the embodiment of Truth, Justice, and the American Way throw you across the room—”Natasha comes closer, her stride controlled. Nothing necessarily out of the ordinary, but there’s something in her face, in her eyes—Natasha lunges across the space, and slams into Peter, hard.
 From Fraud to Father by TonyStarkissist @tonystarkissist (67k+)
“Tony,” she placated, “all you have to do is read a couple children’s books to them and answer a few of their questions. You’ll be fine.” “Will you come with me? You’re so good with kids,” he pleaded as she finished up with his collar and awkwardly patted the lapels of his suit down, forcing a smile onto her face when she looked up at him.“No. I’ve got a lot of work to do. Phil’s going with you, though, and so is Happy. You shouldn’t have a problem. They’ll make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”Theres a long pause before Tony finally voices his true concern.“But what if one of them sneezes on me?”
Archetype by Bean_reads_fanfic @the-reverse-mermaid (57k+)
Tony knows something is up when the research of ex-Hydra agents gets recycled in an underground Oscorp lab… what he doesn’t expect is the boy in a hospital gown sticking to the ceiling; or, how said boy proceeds to imprint on him like a baby duckling (a poor decision on his part, really). Did he mention he wasn’t intending on bringing home a kid that day?
 Taking Leaps (and the falls that come with them) by Kamomile_Tea (*45k+*)
All across New York City the boroughs are crying out with one voice, asking a question everyone wants the answer to.Where is Spiderman?But no one is asking about Peter Parker.So, he sits alone. Contemplating how his life could have gone so downhill. Grief and nausea well up in his chest and the boy quickly shoves it back down. A shiver courses through him as the cold November air seeps into the building and through his thin clothing. And on the back of his navy blue overshirt, in blocky, white letters, reads the words:CROSSROADS JUVENILE CENTERBROOKLYN NYINMATE 3042 ========== The world seems content with ignoring this young teen. That is, until Tony Stark shows up and asks him if he wants to go to Germany.
Runaway by Spectra @iridescent-spectra  (42k+)
Tony and his adopted son Peter get into a huge spat over his late night spiderman escapades, in which case Peter takes the term ‘Not while you’re under my roof’ way too seriously. After all, how hard could it be to run away from a multi billion dollar genius?Chaos ensues as the whole city becomes a metaphorical chessboard for the two equally stubborn masterminds.
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