#they're drama kids

[science-lings]

I think Tumblr ate my last one so here.

Tis your sign to ramble to thine hearts content

I've been saving these until I have thought about something in particular to ramble about so get ready,

I am obsessed with the vibe of the Wright's being born performers. Before choosing to pursue law, Phoenix was an art student, implied to either be pursuing illustration or Shakespearian theater. I like to think that part of the appeal of criminal law for him was how dramatized everything was. It's more about weaving a story that connects all the dots provided for the evidence and witness statements than about, you know, knowledge of the law. It's about plot twists and last-minute saves and becoming the sturdy pillar for your client. Phoenix only chooses cases that are so wacky and hopeless that make for excellent stories. What I'm saying is that Phoenix lives for the drama and how the courtroom turns into a stage where he has to convince everyone else of the story he's piecing together that very moment. There's just something so theatric about yelling 'objection' and slamming the desk and making some improvised quips to taunt the guy you're arguing against.

I'm also of the opinion that the whole Beanix persona was originally intended to be more of a character that Phoenix put up to get Kristoph to believe that he had given up. It's clear that it was all about hiding his true thoughts and his identity from anyone who would recognize his spikey hair and wiggly eyebrows. He deliberately stopped wearing his iconic blue and general business casual getup and you cannot tell me that there wasn't so much thought into how he started to present himself. He's known for being highly saturated and spikey and generally pretty emotionally open so this character he built is the exact opposite of all those things and it's totally on purpose.

And just like Trucy, this character performance is a coping mechanism to keep themselves safe and seemingly confident. They both smile so convincingly and refuse to let anyone know if something is wrong. They're both manipulative but not out of malice, out of need for survival. They've both been on the wrong side of public opinion and in some capacity are aware that they're in the crosshairs of someone incredibly dangerous. They can only try to keep each other safe by playing into the act that they've worked on for years.

So sure they have to hide their true feelings under a quirky guise, but also I think they would join a community theater and be so good at it. They're in musicals together, I think Phoenix can sing, and he can sing well. He was in all his school plays and got so good at projecting his voice that they didn't even need to give him a mic (me core). That's what made him so good at objecting. I think that the ace attorney stage plays should be canon in the aa universe and Phoenix should play himself and he gets Trucy to play Pearl. He accidentally has so much homoerotic tension with the guy who plays Edgeworth that the real Edgeworth gets jealous.

Phoenix should also know about a lot of technical stuff that comes with theater, so he does a lot of the setup for lights and audio for Trucy's magic shows, he helps her move props around and should be so involved because I think that would be fun.

I also think he should know enough magic that she sometimes incorporates him into the act around their friends, so she makes a card disappear and Phoenix pulls the same one out of Edgeworth's ear. I love it when they're concerningly in sync and they can basically read each other's minds. They stare at each other and have fully silent conversations.

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[thevoidstaredback]

Saturday's at Wayne Manor are family days. The whole weekend is reserved for the family to come and go as they please, but the biggest events are the Game Days on Saturday from 11:00 to 16:00 and Sunday Dinner at 18:00.

Every Saturday is a Game Day, but the third Saturday of each month is Competition Day. The kids all choose their favorite games, and everyone competes against each other. It's very rarely missed by anyone, but there have been times when someone has had to tap out for one reason or another. Alfred keeps track of who's missed how many days. Barbra keeps the tally of who's won what and how many times. At the end of the year, on December 31st, the scores are announced.

Sunday Dinners are sacred. No one ever misses a Sunday Dinner. The last person who did Jason is still getting subtle jabs and looks from everyone and that was a year ago and he had a very good reason, thank you very much! Everyone is always present for Sunday Dinner because everyone still has a room and the option to stay the night between the two days. Most usually take up the offer, but there have been extenuating circumstances that have pulled someone from the Manor.

No matter any of that because everyone is here and everyone is staying the night. That means everyone is patrolling Gotham tonight. Almost everyone. Batwoman has offered to take over Bludhaven for the night, so that's where she's gone.

Bruce plans to present his idea of messing with his coworkers when everyone gets back to the cave after patrol. All his kids know who they all are, having been trained by him, so there's no risk or accidental reveals on his part. In actuality, the kids thought of it like a game. They even had a folder for it on the Bat Computer and everything!

Yes, that night, after everyone returned to the Bat Cave, he would gather his Chaos Gremlins and invite them to mess with the Justice League with him. He'd also try and get Alfred in on it. Family bonding, and all that.

Though, making his kids sweat was its own form of amusement for him. It was 3:00 when everyone finally returned. They all ran their own routes, watched over by Oracle, and their own times, but everyone was always done no later than 3:00. It was a rule that the Gotham Rouges had yet to pick up on because Batman went back out until dawn more often than not.

Anyway, Bruce has been the first to get back and had put on an act of being upset. He usually kept his Batman persona with his suit, so he was rarely ever this stoic while he was Bruce Wayne. He hid his smirk as he sat at the head of the meeting table in the Cave, waiting for his children to change and sit with him. Duke normally was asleep by now, but he'd asked the boy to be there, letting him in on the harmless prank while they waited for his siblings and Stephanie to arrive.

Once everyone was seated, he waited a total of thirty seconds, meeting eyes with every one of his children, before he spoke. "I'm very disappointed."

Dick's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He'd known Bruce the longest - aside from Alfred - and had likely picked up on something the second he saw Bruce and Duke at the table. "At who?"

"The Justice League," It was amusing to watch the tension melt off of all of them when he shook his head, "We all know who all of them are, as well as everyone who trained under them, but they don't know who we are."

"Except Wonder Woman," Jason pointed out, "She figured me out when I came back."

Fair, Bruce supposed. Jason was always Diana's favorite. "I think they need some help," he said, "A push in the right direction, so to speak."

Stephanie had a smile on her face that promised mischief. "We're not telling them, right? 'Cause that'd be no fun."

"Course not!" Duke yawned, "B said we'd give them a hint."

"What did you have in mind, father?" Damian asked, stoic as always, but matching the gleam in Cass's eyes.

"We invite them to the Bat Cave," he said, "Show them around a bit. The only exits we tell them about, though, should be the Lane," How the ground vehicles get in and out. "-the Zeta Tubes," Obviously. "-and the elevator. But, we don't tell them what's upstairs."

Alfred seemed very amused from where he had taken his seat at the other end of the table.

"From there," Bruce continued, "We invite their civilian identities to the next Gala. Meet them. Hint about the Cave without actually saying anything. If I know Clark as well as I know I do, then he'll, at the very least, piece together that the Bat Cave is under Wayne Manor."

"And if we play it right?" Dick's grin was manic, "They won't connect who we are."

"Won't that be suspicious, though?" Tim spoke up for the first time, "They may not have put things together yet, but they aren't stupid. They're heroes. If we give them the pieces, they're gonna piece them together."

Damian was the one to answer him. "Batman and Bruce Wayne hate one another, though there is a grudging acknowledgement and respect."

"Give them the right pieces, with a few from the wrong puzzle, in the wrong order, we could totally have them fooled!" Jason explained.

The group shared looks between each other. Nothing needed to be said because the looks and movements said everything.

Alfred smiled and shook his head fondly. "You may plan this in the morning. For now, go to bed and get some sleep."

Part 1 Part 3

[jakeperalta]

cinemas used to show romcoms. we used to be a real country

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

Apologies

[sergle]

I love to hear what people say about Youtube Drama* but it's SO tacky when it gets so offbase that the posts people make start to be about completely off topic infighting within the Watcher fanbase

[reblorzelska]

Ok, so, in Germany, THE kids media to consume in my childhood was audio dramas about teen detectives who got up to mischief and case-solving, usually with a dog and one long suffering adult policeman in charge that had to swoop in to save them and arrest the perpetrators at the end. The most famous ones are The Three Investigators, closely followed by The Famous Five, and German Original TKKG.

Now what I'm saying is: I need exactly that with the Junior Quartet and Jiang Cheng, who hasn't been on vacation in years and whose original job description never included babysitting duty for kids who almost get themselves shot every other week.

EDIT: I've written a snippet of this and put it in a reblog

[jessicas-pi]

hear me out on this ok. ROTS AU where Anakin still turns to the dark side but that's Palpatine's problem.

So, Palpatine decides last minute that ehhhh maybe dooku could come in handy later and he doesn't encourage Anakin to kill him, and Dooku gets arrested and imprisoned in the Jedi Temple awaiting trial. (Also he didn't get his hands cut off because of uhh plot reasons?)

Fast forward.

Palpatine is encouraging Anakin towards the Dark side, tells him about Plagueis the Wise, etc. etc. But see, the thing is, Anakin is at the end of his tether, probably hasn't slept more than three hours over the past week, and has no remaining impulse control or inhibitions, and upon hearing that the Dark Side can save people from death, his first thought is, "wait a sec, we've got a Sith Lord in-house at the moment!" and he sprints out of the space opera and books it back to the temple.

Now, Dooku has been calmly waiting in Temple custody, confident that Darth Sidious will arrange his escape. But THEN Anakin barges into the cell like OMG THE CHANCELLOR TOLD ME THE SITH KNOW HOW TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM DYING AND I'M HAVING DREAMS ABOUT SOMEONE DYING AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE THEM

At which point, Dooku realizes Palpatine's plan. He's going to tempt Skywalker to the Dark side and REPLACE DOOKU. this is totally uncool.

So he's like "...who are you dreaming about, exactly?"

Anakin freezes. He can't admit it's Padme because their relationship is top-secret and he can't admit how important she is to him so he tries to think of a good fib and goes "uhhhh OBI-WAN! Obi-Wan, it's Obi-Wan, I'm dreaming about Obi-Wan dying-" and he just throws himself into the drama because now he IS imagining obi-wan dying because Obi-Wan is fighting grievous at the moment and he MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE and that's in addition to Padme dying and he's totally spiraling at this point- "pleasepleaseplease you gotta help me he's like the only father i've ever known I don't know what i'll do without obi-wan I have to save him YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT TO DO I'LL DO ANYTHING--"

Dooku begins to smile.

(Would stealing Skywalker out from under his Master's nose be petty? Oh, yeah.)

(But it would also be very, very satisfying.)

---

Obi-Wan calls in to a council meeting to report his defeat of Grievous, but before he can say so, Mace announces that Dooku has escaped and the Sith Master has been killed.

Silence falls between the eleven councilmembers (eleven, not twelve, because their newest one is conspicuously absent. Obi-Wan wonders just what Anakin's up to now. Honestly, that boy will be the death of him.)

Obi-Wan clears his throat.

"...indeed," he says, trying to handle the shocking news with composure. "Well... at least we're down to one Sith, now."

Another awkward pause.

"Yeah, about that--" Mace begins.

[marshmellowtea]

giving into my baser instincts and impulsively creating an au where noah is chris's ten year old, chubby cheeked adopted son who follows him around during total drama and helps him torture their teenage contestants (much to chris's pride and joy <3)

[razzle-zazzle]

Wait sorry movie Cole’s identity reveal? Will there be repercussions about that?

OHOHO you bet! Garmadon's generals didn't recognize him at all, but there is some shaky civilian phone camera footage of Ghost-possessed-Cole fighting them all off, and the Ninjago City Internet pretty much just explodes from there with all sorts of weird theories. And the movie ninja aren't even in Movie Ninjago while all this goes down!

Some more details vaguely in order:

Cole gets doxxed approximately three hours after the footage goes up. The news straight up says this minor's full legal name and everything—Lou is on the phone yelling at them for that for about an hour (he is going to sue and he is going to WIN)

Chen and the other cheerleaders all chilling together trying to process one of Garmadork's Garmalosers being a member of the Secret Ninja Force. They get so close to realizing that the rest of Lloyd's group is the SNF—one of the cheerleaders even suggests the idea before they all turn it down. They were SO CLOSE

The theory that the cheerleaders/other kids at school come up with? Cole's only friends with Lloyd's group because it's the perfect cover, and to spy on Garmadon through Lloyd. Yeah, that's right, the answer is right there in front of them but the hateboner for Lloyd is so strong that nobody can see the forest for the trees here. The theory goes up online and most of the city accepts it wholesale.

Well, most of the city. Koko and the other parents realize pretty quickly that if Cole is the Earth Ninja, then their kids fit perfectly as the others. And remember, all six of those kids are currently missing due to being stuck in showverse! Garmadon's volcano may not survive Lady IronDragon's wrath

Speaking of Garmadon! He was not expecting the ninja to be high school students! He is about to have the worst week of his life, starting with the news going on about how this high schooler is his son's friend (but his son is bald and has no teeth, he's pretty sure... does he need to call Koko? no wait she's already here—WAIT SHE'S ALREADY HERE????). Between no ninjnerds showing up to fight him when he invades the city again and Koko giving him hell until she realize he ALSO has no clue where Lloyd and the others are (and Wu fending off his attack), Garm is NOT having a good time.

Koko, in full Lady IronDragon regalia: WHERE IS OUR SON Garmadon, clutching his bowl of cereal:

When Koko realizes Garm genuinely has no clue where their son is, she turns to Wu. And how does Wu explain that he a) trained his nephew and his nephew's friends in ninjitsu so that they could act as the city's heroes and b) they all disappeared into what might have been a portal and he's not entirely sure where they are? By playing his flute, of course. Koko punches him.

Between all of this there are still tons of theories about what the fuck Ghost was/is and why there was a glowing green ghostly guy hovering by and then jumping into m!Cole in that shaky civilian phone camera footage. And plenty more speculation as to how and why the Earth Ninja was suddenly able to tear chunks out of the pavement and make the earth shake a little. Yes it should be obvious but. Well. The internet's gonna internet.

And again, the movie ninja are not there when all of this is going down. Their parents are looking for them, Wu is looking for them, Koko tears up Garm's volcano and then joins Wu in tearing up all his research on portals looking for them—to seemingly no avail. The whole city being weird and invasive about Cole following the identity reveal doesn't help.

When the movie ninja finally do return we get this interaction:

M!Cole, head in his hands: my life is ruined S!Cole, patting his back: don't worry, it's not the end of the world! S!Cole: there's not enough nindroids or pythor for that

tl;dr cole got outed bc footage of him fighting off garm's generals while possessed was uploaded online and then picked up by the news, but bc the city hates lloyd garmadon so much pretty much everyone but the parents fail to realize who the other ninja are. bc it's funny

[raypakorn]

peak cousin sibling behavior

BONUS - who allowed them to run a company?

[imminent-danger-came]

You know, a good thing about LMK is that there literally can't be therapy talk because no one in that show communicates with each other

[figarotrilogy]

autobiographical post

[sagaduwyrm]

In my heart I know that (outside of Tim's stalker records and the bat computer) the only pictures of the bats are all blurry, Sasquatch-is-real-look-I-have-proof shadow-in-the-dark quality shit except for one perfect, beautiful face shot that broke the Gotham Internet when it was posted. Every digital copy was corrupted beyond recovery within three hours and the physical copies vanished in the night. Gotham has never recovered.

[weneedatdcharacterwho]

Conversely we also need a "mean" character who is shown to be unpleasant and rude but everyone loves. they are later revealed to actually generally be nice but got a bad edit from production for something minor on day 1

.

[athina-blaine]

so many labru fic ideas ... so little time ...