#this is a support gay wrongs tumblr

[heretherebedork]

The thing for me is, Mew isn't holding a gun to Top's head (yet). And Mew represents just as many people as these other characters, if not more. He has every right to need trust and require proof of trustworthiness on his own terms, just as Top has the power to walk away if he objects. But he agreed. So a lot of the takes and impressions I see about Mew just feel a bit overthought and projected. If he's ever going to consciously be manipulative, it'll be to break bad on Top and Boston after he finds out. He yells at Top in the trailer "Why do I have to find out all this shit on the day I already love you and give you everything?!" - and then smirks(?) as his back is turned while Top hugs him, who looks like all his life choices are flashing before his eyes. So maybe that's meant to be his and Nick's arc, for us to see how the world of love sex and relationships is not idealistic, and how it inevitably changes those within it that are.

That's fine.

Look, I just want to enjoy the idea of a virgin who's also allowed to be manipulative and to use sex and to use his attractiveness and to use his body without having sex. I love the idea. I want it to be true. I want it to happen.

Mew is also absolutely using Ray and his love for him. And that's great!

I want Mew to already know what he's doing and to be looking fire in the eyes with Top and enjoying it nonetheless, to be enjoying because he wants this to go exactly how he wants.

Is it true? Pffft, like I know.

All I know is that I want it and I love that idea.

I don't want Mew to truly be the innocent one who learns through this and only discovers this side of himself because of Top.

I want Mew to know. I want him to know what he values and what that is worth to him and what he wants and to get what he thought he could get and what he was sure he wanted and then to use to keep twisting, to keep twisting Top around his finger tighter and tighter.

Will it happen? Probably not.

But I love that idea of Mew. I love that image of Mew. I love a Mew who can and would use his sexuality without having sex because he wants this. He wants Top like the prize everyone else sees him as and he wants him all to himself but he is still using him the same as everyone else.

Yes, Mew and Nick are likely to be the ones to blow the whole thing open but, in my own way, I want Top and Ray to be the most hurt by the whole thing exploding. I want everyone to be hurt and I want pain but I don't want this to just be Mew's innocence being used against him.

[slingbees]

I want to take the ears off, but I can't

Had this in the back of my head for about a week before I had to bite the bullet and finally make it, lazy as it is I'm just glad I did it

Obviously inspired by René Magritte's "The Son of Man." I really wanted to make something kind of rough with a lot of texture.

[lildoodlenoodle]

But you would never lie to me, would you Goncharov?

- Katya in Goncharov(1973)

She never deserved what happened to her

[maddy-ferguson]

byler tumblr in june: will doesn't have internalized homophobia, that's mike.

byler tumblr on july 1st: oh, will does have internalized homophobia after all. this is terrible.

byler tumblr in august: oh, will really does have internalized homophobia after all. this is terrible.

byler tumblr after scriptgate: will doesn't have internalized homophobia, that's mike.

[lesbienneanarchiste]

If you wanna know how my NaNoWriMo plot is going :)

[birdblogsstuff]

I just love my ocs so much ;-;

[umberandmochaagate]

This one blan queer peer: Sometimes I forget you're nonbinary/pan cuz you don't look or act like it lol 😆

Me, a black person with an island background raised in Catholicism in Amerikkka looking exactly how I look physically as the total opposite of the Standard of Acceptance in general settings let alone queer spaces:

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

“What should we do about people who are clearly not straight but insist they are?”

Well, nothing. We do nothing about that. 

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the frustration. No matter if this is a situation where they have a full-on fling with you and still insist that they are straight, or if it’s your friend who jokes so often that she wishes she could just be a lesbian that you don’t really think it’s a joke anymore, or even if it’s a celebrity who talks about how they had experiences with women and men and then goes on to call themselves a straight ally - sometimes you just wanna grab someone by the shoulders and tell them they are clearly lying to themselves and/or are not aware bisexuality exists. 

There’s nothing wrong with that feeling. Especially if you yourself had a difficult time coming to terms with your sexuality, you may want to save others those years of confusion. And there ARE people who lie to themselves or are not aware bisexuality exists. 

But - and this is an important but - coming to a point where they are able and willing to come out to themselves? That’s a journey everyone needs to go on themselves. 

Maybe you look back and wish someone would’ve grabbed you by the shoulder and went “You are gay, accept it”. It’s a comforting fantasy but in real life you can’t force an epiphany of self-discovery like that. You can’t have their epiphany for them. You can offer an open ear and share some information with them if (and only if!) they ask you for advice - but that’s all you can do. 

Next to “You can’t force an internal coming-out on someone who isn’t ready to have one yet”, there’s also another important point we need to consider here: It’s not our place or business to do anything about it. 

Maybe you feel like you see “all the signs” in that person, but it’s not your call to make. You don’t live their life, you can’t decide how they feel or how they want to label it. 

You can’t force a label on someone, and that goes both ways. You can’t tell a gay person they are actually straight, but you also can’t tell a straight person they are actually gay. Experiences do not always equal attraction, sexuality is a complex spectrum and feelings are messy anyway. 

This is of course especially hard to accept if there are feelings involved on your part, for example in that “making out with you at parties and then going home to their heterosexual partner” scenario. You may tell yourself you just need to wait until they are ready to come out as gay and then they’ll want to be with you for real - but that journey we talked about, that may also just end in the realization that, yep, they are straight. Questioning your sexuality, or even experimenting with it, doesn’t always end in a coming-out as gay/bi. 

With all that said, it really boils down to this: 

You can generally(!) advocate for things that make the journey easier for people to go on (for example more accessible education on sexuality). But when it comes to any one specific person, you don’t do anything - unless they explicitly ask you to. 

You can listen if they want to talk about any confusion they may feel regarding their sexuality, you can offer information and support if they ask you for help in figuring it out. But if they are not asking for help, you just accept they are on their own journey and know themselves best. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[daydream-the-demon]

No more KOSA (Kids Online Safety Act)

I am a minor, and I'm speaking from experience.

Without the internet as it is, I would:

Have committed suicide

Be friendless

Not be able to start my career early

Not be able to share my artwork and writing

Get help

First, LGBTQIA+ concern:

I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community as a young minor. I identify as a genderless AroAce (which is uncommon, but part of the community). Without being able to explain who I was, I would have felt alone, an outcast among girls (as my original gender), and felt like something was wrong with me. And I would not have been able to explain my romantic and sexual attraction. I would have been pretty much forced into a relationship when I will be older, but identifying as AroAce helps me avoid those questions. I could have had the inconvenience of a boyfriend (because what would be gay? I would be forced into a straight relationship). I learned about sex and how to stay safe with it ON THE INTERNET. Along with orientations and genders. There are so many teen pregnancies that fuck up people's possible future careers, all because they didn't know how to practice safe sex or even the possibility of not being attracted to people in the first place!

Second, mental health:

I have Autistic friends, most of them are from the internet. I only know the symptoms and problems with Autism. Without the internet, I could have felt like an outcast between my peers without explanation. Knowing about Autism (and other disabilities and disorders) and its symptoms is a valuable tool, it could help you interact with people with those who have it, or find out if YOU might have it.

I would've committed suicide. I have many friends on the internet. And without them. I would be friendless. Without support. I would've felt lonely. My irl friends rarely text me, so one summer break I almost committed suicide. But at the time I almost committed it, I texted my online friend who lives on the other side of the Earth. And she was there for me when no one else was, when I was sad, and about to kill myself. Without the internet, I would have never met her. And without her, I would have literally died. I now have many wonderful friends on the internet, and they all help me be who I am, and stay here with you, so that I can now speak.

Third, my career:

The reason I have Tumblr, is so that I can show myself. I can post about art, interests, projects, and so on. I can reblog other peoples' art and learn from them. Without Tumblr (and other social media), I would have never been able to put myself out there. Right now I have 35 followers on my main blog, and some other followers on my smaller blogs. I can build a following, so finally when I get a job, I can say "Hey! Look at me: People know me, they like my art, they support me." And support helps. I can start a YouTuber channel and show myself and also get money from it. I can jumpstart my career here.

Thank you. Any questions or clarifications would be appreciated. I am now done speaking from my experience so far, use this however you'd like.

[kkintsugi]

Tumblr: I support women's rights and women's wrongs!

Tumblr: unless that woman gets in the way of my gay ship that was never going to happen, then she's the worst and I hate her

[meanbossart]

I appreciate how you write Astarion so, SO much. I feel like way too many fic writers infantilize him to a point where I honestly start wondering if I'm the one who misinterpreted him so badly.

I'd love to know more about what you think of his character and his arc. Personally I saw him and immediately went "oh god this guy is gonna be the irritating tumblr sexyman of the year🙄" and it took me until Araj basically to warm up to him. What were your initial thoughts and did they change much while playing the game?

OH thank you so much!!! That's a shame if it's the case, and a little surprising to me, to be honest! While he's definitely written be an aloof jerk a lot of the time, I always found him to be surprisingly mature and introspective whenever he's not dishing out witty remarks. He comes off to me as the kind of person who learned to benefit from seeming dumber than he actually is, overall.

HAHA I had a VERY similar experience, not just towards Astarion but all the characters, really (I really disliked Shadowheart at the beginning, too). I had only seen pictures of him and pretty much expected a vapid character that was being carried to stardom because of a talented VA - and because people go nuts for anne rice style vampires lol.

While I was definitely enjoying his voice lines from the start (Again kudos to Neil) I definitely wasn't expecting much else. He piqued my interest after so devastatingly turning my character down at the tiefling party without me even having inquired, and that's when I, the gamer, was like "well, alright, I GOTTA fuck this guy now" (this is also where DU drow's personality began to come out as you can probably guess)

Obviously, if you have two neurons to rub together you can gather pretty quickly that he's not trying to woo you because you're so interesting and wonderful, so I started getting curious! With that dynamic being so different from what you usually expect of romances in these types of games, plus the charming way in which he is written, I started being won over.

I think what really did it was how gradually his attitude changed when responding to new, mostly trivial dialogue options and doing his greetings as you earned his trust, and ESPECIALLY with how he responds to your tav when you express any kind of fear or insecurity during his romance - which was with a lot of sincerity and confidence in his resolve to support you, and in you as a person, a complete 180 from his usual front - Which, again, makes me all the more surprised to hear that he's often painted with such an immature brush.

And obviously he has a DEEPLY ugly side to him (if you've read ANE, hopefully it's clear that I know this, and that I like to explore it just as much as anything else lmao) but it's very interesting to me how it seem to always come in the form of outbursts, rather than a constant evil-streak, usually followed by a glimpse of self-awareness. It feels very much in line with someone who's actually making a great deal of effort to manage their RAMPANT emotions and going through a lot of internal conflict in the process.

GAH. Yeah if you can't tell by this friggin' thesis I just wrote, I love the way they wrote this character a lot and I was definitely proven PROFOUNDLY wrong in my first impression of him - which, if that's not irony at it's finest I don't know what is.

And as an aside! I also very much appreciate that he's a "queer" coded character who's effeminate (in the Old Homo kind of way, but I digress) and flamboyant, but taken Dead Fucking Seriously. With as much progress as we've made in LGBT rep in media, I still often feel like gay men will only get that kind of treatment for as long as they "Aren't That Gay" (I know Astarion doesn't have a set sexuality - But lets not mince words: stereotypes exist, and he fits into most of them) and as a thin-wristed gay guy who's a little too found of linen shirts, I can honestly say that experiencing a character like that helped me with my own confidence.

[rjalker]

Dear teenagers on tumblr, and a whole bunch of adults, too:

You can be any identity under the sun, and that does not stop you from being bigoted or hateful towards other people of that identity or any other.

Being gay doesn't magically mean you can't be homomisic or anything else.

Being aspec does not mean you can't be amisic or anything else.

Being trans doesn't mean you can't be transmisic or anything else.

Your identity does not determine how harmful or hateful your actions and words are. There is no identity in the world that gives you a free pass from biotry and cancels out all the harm you do.

"But I can't be an exclusionist, I'm literally aspec!" is a completely meaningless statement. I know not everyone remembers, or was even online during the aspec harassment campaign, but a ton of alloaces and alloaros were onboard with the whole thing and throwing the "non-Queer aces and aros who make us look bad" under the bus.

Their asexuality or aromanticism did not magically make their actions not violently and horrifically amisic.

Being part of an oppressed minority does not make all of your actions harmless and innocent, and it does not mean that anyone who criticizes you for bigotry against other people from that minority group is just "stupid" and needs to "touch grass".

You being [insert identity] does not mean that it's impossible for you to hurt, or be hateful towards other people of that identity.

If someone tells you that something you are saying is harmful and bigoted, and that there are better ways to phrase what you're actually trying to say, you cannot respond with "I'm literally X identity you stupid idiot, do you think I hate myself??" or pretend that the people telling you it's harmful are just "making up problems to get mad about" and "need to touch grass" and "looking for things to be offended by"

You cannot repeat the exact same words any random conservative would be saying and call yourself progressive and say you're acting in good faith and have good intentions.

If you actually want you make yourself and your blog a supportive place for your community, then you need to learn that it is not okay to respond to people telling you something is hurtful by just repeatedly insulting them and saying they're just looking for problems to cause and you've done nothing wrong because "I'm literally X identity I can't spread hate about my own identity".

Because yes you can. And you are.

If multiple people are telling you you're acting like an exclusionist, that is your cue to stop, take time to calm down your immediate negative reaction, and listen properly.

Do not just immediately leap to repeating exact conservative talking points by accusing people of "looking for things to get offended by".

Do not immediately leap to insulting people's intelligence and other ableist things.

If you are actually acting in good faith, and you are actually trying to be a supportive member of your community, then you have a personal responsability to listen to other people in your community when you are told that something you've done or said is hurtful and is perpetuating harmful, exclusionary beliefs.

You are not immune to being a bigot just because you're also a minority.

You have a personal responsibility to listen to people when they tell you you are doing something harmful.

You have a personal responsibility to unlearn bigoted thought patterns and behaviors like immediately dismissing any criticism as "special snowflakes getting offended by everything".

You have a personal responsibility not to harm your own community.

Everyone needs to learn this lesson at some point. You will either learn it now, when you're young, or you'll learn it when you're older and you've already driven people away from you.

Either way, you gotta learn it.

You cannot repeat conservative bigoted talking points and keep insisting your intentions are good.

If you actually want to be a good person who supports other minorities, you have to learn to act like it. You have to learn to listen when people tell you you've done something harmful. You have to learn to listen when it is explained that you are repeating exclusionary talking points that harm the community.

[ID: A screenshot of a post by dulce de calabaza / zapatistarising, that reads, "There's actually no political label or identity that absolves you of doing harm". End ID.]

I suggest you try learning it now while you're still young, before you've driven your community away from you with your hateful behavior. No one likes a bigot.

And no one wants to hang out with someone who immediately starts insulting people and all but calling them special snowflakes when they're told they've said something bigoted.

[thesunsethour]

Tumblr in Westeros (S2E4)

🔗 maesterofsex follow

daemon targaryen summer

🔆 duskendalerebels follow

what does this mean

🔗 maesterofsex follow

rotting in my room and forgetting to brush my hair. perhaps being haunted by ghosts

467 notes

🐍 divinerightofkingaegon follow

May the Seven bless the soul of King Aegon II Targaryen! Slain in battle protecting his kingdom! Slain by the forces of Rhaenyra the Cruel!

🗺️ 420blazewaterbay follow

🦀🦀🦀

18,589 notes

⚓️ lordlannisterpleasepaymydebts follow

king viserys is dead prince lucerys is dead and me l feel also not so good

⚓️ lordlannisterpleasepaymydebts follow

prince jaehaerys is dead erryk and arryk cargyll are dead and me i feel also not so good

⚓️ lordlannisterpleasepaymydebts follow

princess rhaenys is dead king aegon is dead and me i feel also not so good

🌼 tyrellrosetintedglasses follow

Just Another Day On Normal Island

12,774 notes

🏰 thebutchandthemaidenfemme follow

Aegon: The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly great call from the haters

56,563 notes

🪝winteriscummingwhosaysno follow

yooooooo FINALLY a proper DRAGON BATTLE 🐉🐦‍🔥 EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

🏵️ vivathesmallfolk follow

yeah epic. three of my brothers died and my family are now refugees

🍺 tavernwench follow

how about we don’t trauma dump on other people’s posts

47 notes

🥮 mothermaidencrone follow

what if your dad DIED and you were PREGNANT and your husband was GAY and then you GOT YOUR RIGHTFUL CROWN STOLEN

🥮 mothermaidencrone follow

this happened to my good friend queen rhaenyra targaryen

89,312 notes

🌽 sweetestsummerchild follow

(most normal voice ever) oh the other death of a royal on dragonback? yeah that was also an accident

🔰 cristoncolebabygirl follow

hashtag i support prince aemond’s wrongs

339 notes

🟢 alerieflowers13653729 follow

Pray tell does any man have history book recommendations? I would prefer some books centring around the glory days of King Aegon the Conquerer. Should any man have any knowledge on the subject, do not hesitate to seek contact.

♟️anothericebrickinthewall follow

does op firstnamebunchofnumbers know that this site is for the SMALLFOLK. take your highborn ass elsewhere, your (dis)grace

57,579 notes

[respectthepetty]

10 Anticipated BLs for 2024

Since I'm excited for ALL the GLs (Pluto, 23.5, Sunshine in the Wind, Chaser Game, Be Mine, y todo!), I'm making my list of the 10 BLs I'm excited for this year with brief reasons why I'm looking forward to them. In my normal fashion, I cheat my way into having more. All except one is Thai because Thailand loves to tease series three years in advance, then never make them, but I strongly believe these are coming:

The Next Prince

Zee continues to never play a poor person, and a trailer is supposed to drop in the first quarter of this year. I never knew there was so many fencers on BL Tumblr, so I'm looking forward to everyone's commentary on how well the characters poke with their sticks or whatever fencers do.

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart

It's a heist BL. It has YinWar. It has Prom x Mark. It has Bonz. It's Dee Hup House (we got beef). It's Director Tee and probably Cinematographer Jim. It might have color coding. There is not one thing I can find wrong with this series. It's perfect on paper, and I'm praying that translates well to the screen.

Spare Me Your Mercy

Like that lady in Titanic, I've been waiting 80 years for this series (give me a minute to cry about MaxTul), and it's finally near! I'm getting JJ & Tor in a Dr. Sammon piece, who I feel writes "Be Gay, Do Crime" very well, so I'll be forgiving any of these two gays' wrongs including murder, attempted murder, contemplating murder, and murdering each other in the bedroom (ahhhh!).

Wandee Goodday

Golf from The Eclipse is directing. It's about Muay Thai. It has an older doctor and a younger boxer who start off as bed friends (and I think one is actually a virgin). It has color coding. It has me already seated and waiting with popcorn, and I think it might be the first offering that will be delivered from GMMTV's 2024 lineup.

Sequels: Choco Milk Shake 2, Unintentional Love Story 2, My Doctor

Is Choco Milk Shake 2 gonna finally give me poly? Probably not, but I hope My Doctor brings the same heat the side couple did in Be Mine, Superstar, and the side couple getting the spotlight in Unintentional Love Story 2 will also make my side-couple-supremacy heart very happy this year.

Live in Love

It looks color coded. That's it. That's the reason. Keeping my expectations low because it might not get made since this is Thailand's favorite game.

Red Peafowl

The character reveals were absolute chaos, so I'm hoping that chaos transfers over to the actual series because it can either be a mess or a masterpiece, but it cannot be mediocre with Max, Cooheart, Boun, Mek, and Yacht as supports. Plus, it has color coding and a bird that is quickly becoming a Tumblr god.

Love Upon a Time

Even though it is a historical queer series, which means it could be sad, I think Domundi will keep the sass, so James' character won't be crying in the 1600s club but instead eating fruit seductively to encourage Net's character to put his homosexual skills into practice instead of simply theorizing about them, which is something I need more of. Plus, it has color coding.

Love Puzzle

This is one that might not get made because . . . Thailand. It's connected to Chains of Heart, but I don't care because the cast looks good and Poppy is gonna finally get to kiss a homie. If this doesn't get made, I will cry thug tears. It's 2024. Poppy deserves to kiss a man already.

My Stand-In

I don't understand the plot, but it doesn't matter because Pepzi and Khom are directing, and in case that means nothing, those were KinnPorsche's directors! Then, it has Up and Poom as the leads, plus a stacked supporting cast. I'm here. I'm queer. And I'm ready to be served.

Honorable Mention: Peaceful Property

It's about los espookys and features Tay and New. Will it be a QL? The streets are saying no, but all the characters are color coded, and all's I'm saying is what would be the point of color coding them if I ain't getting a BL main couple and a GL side couple? It's already canon to me.

Bonus: MosBank & JoongDunk

MosBank had like eighty projects announced for 2023, and I got NONE! Big Dragon 2, Big Dragon: The Movie, SunsetxVibes, where you at?! Y Journey: Stay Like a Local and Club Friday do not count. I don't want to watch their horror movie, but gosh darnit, if that comes out before everything else, I just might.

And I am a JoongDunk fan first, and a human second. Give my boys a gym BL already, GMMTV!

[joblrcensus]

it’s time for the JOblr census results 🧡🙌

before we start i want to thank everyone who took their time to answer this silly little project, gathering responses from 203 baby boos!! it’s my first time doing this so hopefully i can bring some excitement with the results <3

so buckle up and let’s get into it

general questions

Which continent are you from?

Unsurprisingly, the majority is European with a total of 80.8% but it’s amazing to see that they’ve crossed the continent’s border and we also have 9.9% people from North America, 3.9% from Australia & Oceania, 3.4% from Asia and 2% from South America. No person chose the Africa option.

Which country are you from? (optional)

With this being an optional question, 162 respondents out of 203 opted to answer it. Let’s take a look at the top countries by number of people in JOblr (small note: I counted the few people who wrote England or Scotland as part of the UK answer)

Drumrolls 🥁…..

Finland - 29

UK & USA - 15

Germany - 11

Poland - 9

Italy - 8

Australia - 7

Sweden - 6

Austria, Spain, The Netherlands - 5

Croatia, Slovenia - 4

Czechia, France, Romania - 3

Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Hungary, Lithuania, Norway, Philippines, Portugal, Ukraine - 2

Bolivia, Brazil, China, Estonia, Greece, Iceland, India, Luxembourg, Malta, Mexico, Russia, Switzerland - 1

How old are you?

45.8% of us are between 18-25, following by 23.6% between 26-30, 18.2% between 31-45, 10.8% under 18 and two people who are over 45 years old.

Are you part of the LGBTQ+ community?

Remember when they said Joker Out are for the girls and gays? 🏳️‍🌈

Well that was absolutely not wrong since 77.3% baby boos answered that yes they are part of the community, while 11.8% are questioning and 10.8% have answered no

tumblr activity questions

How do you participate on JOblr?

a majority of 98 people are mostly reblogging posts in the fandom but sometimes making posts of their own, 38 are only reblogging while 36 lurkers have stepped out of the shadow and made themselves known. The least amount of people (31) said to be active posters

Do you post any of the following?

It’s already known this fandom is mad talented and entertaining!! It’s always a joy seeing everyone’s creations and posts no matter the type. And the people who are only enjoying and supporting the content are just as important 🫶

Do you also post about Käärijä?

Since these two fandoms are basically overlapping, sometimes even seen as one fandom, I was curious just how much

50.7% also post about Käärijä outside of Joker Out, while 35% don’t post about him at all (or perhaps very rarely). 14.3% are mainly coming from Käärijä’s fandom

joker out questions

How did you find out about Joker Out?

Another unsurprising result, with 89.7% of us finding out about them through Eurovision. But it was really cool to see that there are people who discovered them differently. Ten people found out about them through Tumblr or other social media, to four they were recommended by someone and one through a music platform. The “other” option was chosen as well and included:

finding out about JO through Käärijä

through a music blog review

on slovenian radio

Who from the current members is your favorite?

One of the hardest questions but it had to be done

So Tumblr’s top favorite members areee:

Bojan - 69 votes

Jan - 42 votes

Kris - 40 votes

Nace - 35 votes

Jure - 17 votes

Have you been to a Joker Out concert?

I did not expect this one to be so balanced but I am pleasantly surprised! 104 people have been to a JO concert, while 99 haven’t. It often feels like you’re the only person who hasn’t seen them live yet but it’s nice to see that you’re not alone, so if anyone feels the same don’t worry our time will come too 🥹

If you answered yes, have you seen them multiple times?

Out of the 104 people who previously answered yes, there’s still a balance between those who have been to only one concert and those who have been to multiple

If you’re into RPF, which one of the most popular ships (according to AO3) is your favorite?

Another optional question where 181 out of 203 opted to respond to.

Oh boy, ooooh boy this was a tough battle. It felt like I was watching a horse race. I can tell you that all three ships have been at some point in the first place, or even equal. Are you ready to see the most interesting result yet?

Drumrolls again 🥁…….

BoJere - 58 votes

BoKris - 57 votes

Jance - 56 votes

The “other” option was also chosen and the following ships were included:

BoMartin

Jan/Jure

Kris/Jure

Nace/Kris

Nace/Jere

poly!JO

aaaand that’s it, you made it to the end 🫶 hope you enjoyed and why not see you on the next census!!

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

A lot of supportive statements use love-centered language: 

Gay love is love. 

It’s so weird to be homophobic, how can you hate people for being in love? 

Love can’t be wrong. 

Love can’t be a sin. 

The gay agenda is just loving your partner. 

If you hate someone for who they love, you are the one who needs to work on yourself.

These are just a few examples, you can probably think of some more at the top of your head. Love-centered rhetoric is omnipresent and for good reasons: it’s often the simplest approach that is the most effective. 

For people who are not part of the community, and especially those in circles where lgbt+ rights are not intuitively seen as something worth fighting for, love-centered language offers an easy connection point. Homosexuality may feel “other” but love does not. We can take this picture that feels familiar and good, and we can say “look, we can change the genders of the people in the picture but nothing else changes. It’s still a loving relationship.” 

And this isn’t some manipulative strategy, it’s just a kickstarter for connection. That’s why it can also work for people within the community! If you struggle with internalized homophobia, with shame or guilt, you too can look at that picture and remind yourself “I am not gross/sick/sinful (or whatever you struggle with), it’s just love and love can’t be wrong”. Love-centered language can be especially comforting and affirming if you feel a bit lost in the more political/technical discussions in lgbt+ spaces. It just takes you back to the basics, to “this is who I am and it’s okay and good to be who I am”. 

But with all that being said: as helpful as it can be, some people in the community just don’t feel that personal connection to love-centered language. This can be for a lot of reasons, for example because they feel like it only covers sexual orientation and not gender identity, or simply because they are not, and perhaps do not wish to ever be, in a romantic relationship. 

In this case, we can say, well, love also includes loving yourself, so we can still say that being lgbt is all about love: love who you love and love who you are! 

But for some people that’ll still feel clunky - and that’s okay. Love-centered language is a lovely tool but it’s also just that: a tool. You can use it or leave it in the toolbox. 

Maybe a joy-centered approach feels more intuitively right for you: life should feel good. Everyone has a right to strive for happiness and live the way that brings them joy. Or an authenticity-centered approach: people are at their best when they live authentically and can express themselves in the ways that feel natural to them. 

If you need that little kickstarter for connection, either to help someone else or to help yourself, that kickstarter can be love - but it doesn’t have to be. 

With all my love (and joy), 

Your Tumblr Dad