#this is based on a larger fic im writing

[eggofthefish]

Just Like Him ficlet/comic (tw child neglect, mild self-harm(shaving with straight razor), dissociation , grief, alcohol)

He was fifteen now, the past year and a half made him shoot up in height, outgrowing his older brother much to his sibling’s chagrin. His voice grew deeper and awkward prickly hairs filled his chin, he was a bit gangly and didn't quite fit into his own body yet, but he was delighted by the change- to see a beard cut a more mature face. It was an added bonus that jobs got easier, and he became a more active part in their hunts. Though he was pleased his brother’s mood soured further, a pinched brow seemed to become a permanent fixture on his face and the impossibility of his brother drifting away from him further became a reality. Nights in the motels they’d stay in were lonelier, the cold crept in just that little more. 

The worst thing though, was Dickory’s drinking, he hadn’t done it in years.. Not since.. Not that he was an angry drunk, though one would think that was the case due to his short temper. No no, when his brother drank he became subdued. Quiet. Like everything has been lifted off of him and left him a doll of feeling. It made Hickory’s skin crawl to see his brother like that, to see him shed of everything that made him his brother and he just couldn’t make hooves or tails of why he was relapsing. Nothing was worse than feeling that helpless, than helping his brother to bed after he came to their room and slumped against a wall. Why? Why was he tearing himself apart? He wanted to help him, but he wouldn’t let him. Why. It was one night he understood. After being helped to bed for perhaps the fourth time that week, before he had pulled away to sleep in his own bed, Dickory grabbed his arm and pulled him close. He blinked, now leaned over to look face to face, eyes wide open when he felt a hand on his cheek. His brother brushed the facial hair, thumb against the prickly growth, a reminder of the premature beard he gained. 

His brother spoke, quiet words slurred together but it felt loud.

“You look just like him.”

Hickory’s stomach plummeted, words that would normally have made him so happy felt like a blow to the gut when on his brother’s face was unmasked grief. His brother didn’t see him, he saw Papa. He was why.

The younger reeled back, nausea rolled over him. Was this all his fault? Was this why his brother drank? His mind raced, his skin didn’t feel like his own. Hickory gripped at his face, nails picking at his scruff and scratching. He had to fix this. Breathes came short and tight, and he stumbled off into the small bathroom, leaving his slumbering brother to his dreams.

That expression, his brother’s pain felt seared in his mind. Before he knew it he was gripping on his brother’s straight razor and leaning over the sink, shaky fingers clumsily swiping on his chin- he’d never done this before. A few knicks and cuts interrupted the glide and he struggled to look himself in the eye until he finished, when he was clean shaven but sullied with blood.

Rinsed off, he grabbed tissue paper and blotted the spots, looking more like a paper mache project than a troll when he finally met his eyes and took in his face. He looked less like Papa, he thought, though the memory was hazy. In fact everything was at that moment, fuzzy hard to place, floating. He rubbed at his eyes a few times, trying to focus on himself but everything was far away. Was this even enough? Was anything he did enough? What a spit in his brother’s face, what a shame of his own to wear a dead man’s face, to remind his family of what he lost. Things had been better, he thought, but maybe they never were and the healing was skin deep. It was his fault, it had to be.

He'd ended up cleaning his mess, wiping up his hair and the droplets of red, finishing up with a polished blade tucked back in place. He didn't go to bed so much as the bed came to him, when without realizing it the flickering bathroom light was traded with his creaky bed and the cover thrown over his head. Tucked in, he closed his eyes, curled up and holding his pillow close. The desire to clutch it was strong, to hold onto something tight and not let the comfort go, but he was too tired to do anything but hold it loose limbed and gently cuddle his face into it. 

As if the pillow needed a gentle touch, as if the pillow was fragile. 

Sleep came blissfully fast.

[batfleshh]

I am currently sucking and fucking bull hybrid ghost. i love you

Bigger

BullHybrid!Ghost X M!Reader

Warnings: I just wanted to use this ask to get it out of my inbox w this fic so ignore that, FIRST TIME WRITING H!CHAR so ignore if it’s like bad, HE BIG, IM SO SORRY I HAVE LOST SO MUCH MOTIVATION GUYS pls don’t let this flop or i will SOB, anyway warnings for breeding, possessive Ghost, and rough sex :3, belly bulge yayayaya, back with the milk (it’s his cum), talks of getting u pregnant (he won’t the thought is just hot), this starts off quick, not proofread

★ Bull!Ghost who’s heavily set on keep your near him, always being two steps behind you when you’re around base. He can’t help it, his own instincts making him watch you like a hawk. That being said, this fucker is always seeking for an opportunity to be inside you. On a mission? Let him slide it in while you’re out hiding. On base? Go find a closet and let him bend you over a few boxes. He’ll find an opportunity eventually.

★ Bull!Ghost who will hold you down, force your face into a mattress and shove his cock into you, making you feel like you’re being split in half. You’ll hear him huff and grunt behind you, the stretch of his bigger than average cock making you lose your mind. He’ll probably never admit it, though he makes it kind of obvious, he loves watching you fall apart, your desperate noises making him just want to keep you that way forever, but he does have eventually end up being softer on you, taking care of you after treating you that way.

★ Bull!Ghost with larger EVERYTHING, his figure much more toned and built than what he would normally look like. He likes to hold you in his arms, the way you fit there making him want to keep you there. It doesn’t matter how tall or short you are really, he’ll make you fit in his arms any way, he could fit a lot of things actually. Sometimes you’ll be surprised at how large he is, forgetting what you had been through the last time. It always ends up with you asking him to slow his role, asking for him to ease up. But he doesn’t, why would he need to?

★

“Simon, God, p- please!”, you plead with him, the rough rocking of his hips making you see stars. You watch his tagged and scarred ears twitch on his head, his nose scrunched with how concentrated he seemed to be. He ends up trying to quiet you down, his hand moving to cover your mouth. Your back arches up off the bed, the feeling of his cock hitting that spot inside of you making you want to take him in way more than you physically can.

He watches as your hand moves to grab at his wrist, drool seeping out onto his palm. The feeling doesn’t make him pull away, despite how gross the action seemed to be. He just waits to pull his hand away, wiping it on the bed. He doesn’t say anything to you, grabbing one of your hands and moving it down, placing it on the spot where you can feel his dick inside of you. He chuckles at how you whimper at the feeling, almost mind blown.

He watches his dick go in and out of you, his tail swishing back and forth. He leans down as he picks up his speed, moving close to your ear.

“Gonna fuck a calf into you, handsome. Would love to breed such a pretty boy,” he groans, feeling himself reach closer to the edge with every thrust. You make more pathetic noises, the very thought in the moment making you push your hips back into his. Ghost groans as he releases inside of you, the whines coming from you making him push his hips firmly against yours, holding them in place as he hushes you gently. You get a few deep breaths in and out before you feel him start to move again, a whine being drawn out from you. You look up at him with glossy eyes, his hand traveling up to cradle the side of your head. You feel his previous orgasm leak out of you as his cock starts to plunge into you, each thrust faster than the last. So much for getting a break.

★ ~

I got bored and lazy. This is short MB YALL but like hey im back

[licorice-tea]

And There You Are, An Ocean Away

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader (and a little Nami x Vivi if you squint)

Content: friends to lovers, fluff, anxious/hopeful crush feelings, confessions, long distance relationships, reader is a Straw Hat Pirate, and Law is a little awkward <3

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: this is one of the first fics i’ve finished and i’m not the best at grammar rules so there are probably a few mistakes! also i might have made Law a little ooc lol, but besides that im just trying to write more to improve! thanks for reading :)

Edited 1/17/23

be-beep. be-bee-

“Hello?” Law cuts off the ringing of his transponder snail. He can’t help but smile to himself upon hearing the voice on the other end of the line.

“Law? Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, y/n.” He leans back in his desk chair, twisting the cord of the transponder snail around finger “E” while holding the phone in the other hand.

“Sooo,” you drawl, “have you guys started opening presents yet?”

Law can practically hear you smiling, which makes him exhale in amusement before responding. “Yeah, the crew exchanged gifts and opened them earlier this morning. How about you?”

“Mhm, we were up as soon as the sun rose- Chopper and Luffy woke up the whole crew.” You pause, and he can imagine you biting back a laugh while shaking your head as you often do. “Anyway… Did you get everything you wanted?” You sound expectant, almost knowing.

In his usual deadpan tone, he answers simply. “Bepo got me a new coffee blend.”

“That’s nice of him… he’s always so considerate.”Based on your tone it’s not quite the answer you were looking for, but you provide commentary anyway.

“Ohh yeah,” He continues on the other end of the line, feigning the recollection of something important, “and there was this massive box on deck…”

“Oh good!” You exclaim as Law chuckles. “You scared me, I thought you hadn’t gotten it. Did everyone like their gifts?”

You’re referring, of course, to the comically large box that the Straw Hats had shipped to the Heart Pirates. It was packed to the brim with gifts for every crew member. After all, what was the point of having tons of berries from “stolen” treasure if not to use it on your friends? Or at least, that’s the reasoning you used to convince Nami to rearrange some funds for gifts to the Heart Pirates and other allies of the Straw Hats. Though, maybe it was just because you had mentioned sending a gift to Vivi back in Alabasta as well…

“They all really liked it, a lot. Was it your idea?”

“No,” you explain with a playful cadence, “it was a group effort.”

“Sure thing, but the bows and wrapping paper has you written all over it. And the handwritten card…”

“I have the best handwriting on our ship! Besides, we all signed it so, its from all of us.”

The only part that 100% was not from all of the Straw Hat Crew, was a box with Law’s name on it at the bottom of the much larger box. Inside the present addressed to the “Captain of the <3 Pirates” was a neat little coin display with places for 25 coins, as well as a card tucked in beside the display.

“Well, it was nice of all of you then.” He concedes with a snark in his voice. “And, uh… I like what you got for me, y/n.” Law’s voice comes out a little quieter, and maybe even a little deeper towards the end. He sounds hopeful, not 100% sure if it was you that had chosen his gift, yet knowing that only you could have selected something so sentimental and- ugh, perfect. His tone makes your stomach do flips.

“Yeah? Good, I’m glad.” Your voice, now a bit softer, replies. “I was worried you might have already had-“

“I-I didn’t. I’ve just been storing my collection in boxes...” He trails off, now tracing the edges of the coin display you’d gotten him. It was nothing exceedingly special or expensive, but it meant a lot knowing you had thought of him- just him- and went out of your way to send him a gift. The thought that you cared about him as much as he did you had his heart beating faster already.

You only knew Law was a coin collector because he chose to tell you. Thats how it usually was with him- he only shared the parts of himself he wanted to share. (Though you did also have a knack for “catching his vibe” as you liked to say.) Anyhow, you also knew his office was painfully tidy and there was little to no decoration, despite having ample bookshelf space. And so, a display for his not-so-secret hobby seemed like a perfect gift!

But, that wasn’t the only thing you’d added to his present. There was also a card, in which you’d written something along the lines of “I’m so glad I met you…. You deserve so many great things, but hopefully this coin display will suffice for now… I have feelings for you…. Merry Christmas! xxx, y/n” You had sort of just slipped in the confession between other clauses.

“And did you read the card…?” Your face suddenly feels a little warmer. Not that there was anything scandalous in the card, just some very honest words about your feelings for Law. Words you hadn’t ever been bold enough to say out loud and in person, and still hadn’t been brave enough to write without lots of other thoughts and well wishes surrounding them.

“Card?…” You hear some shuffling on his end, “I’ll read it now.”

“Mkay.” Your short response is a telltale sign of your own nerves, which makes him curious to find out what you could’ve written.

There’s a prolonged silence as he reads, and Law’s heart skips a beat as he nears the end. His eyes go back over and over 5 specific words: “…I have feelings for you.” He feels nearly giddy with excitement, but it comes out as pure anxious energy. He never thought this would actually happen; a scenario where you reciprocated his affections had only ever happened in his imagination up until now. Usually in these scenarios, he’d have worked up the courage and audacity to tell you how he felt in person, and not only would you accept his confession; you’d also return his feelings. But now that it was actually happening? He found himself at a loss for words, heart beating in his ears and probably blushing like some lovesick idiot.

Law wants to say something perfect for you, something charming and witty, but all he can think of in the moment is, “… I read it.”

His throat feels dry, like he doesn’t know what else to say. Law likes you too of course- how could he not? Ever since you’d met back in Saobody Archipelago, though the interaction had been brief, he’d thought you were beautiful, strong, and somehow a little different from the other Straw Hat Pirates. Then he’d gotten to know you; really know you, beyond your fighting capabilities and the information on your bounty poster. You were kind, witty, selfless, hardworking, and so much more. And alas, absence only makes the heart grow fonder.

Sure, you’d started off as allies, but that quickly became friendship, and a close friendship at that. He liked you because of your acceptance for nearly anyone, so long as they seemed a good person. Even more so, your ability to understand his emotions despite his usually reserved nature (he secretly thinks it’s some sort of sign, but in reality you’re just emotionally intelligent.) And you like Law because of his obvious (though he tries to hide it) love and passion for so many things: his crew, his work, etc. This, along with his witty, albeit odd sense of humor, made you enjoy his company quite a lot. The two of you took most every chance you had to be in each others company, since they were few and far between. Sometimes you’d chat, with you doing most of the talking and Law being content to listen and only add comments where he thought them necessary. Other times you’d follow each other into battle to provide support for the other, though neither of you had ever really needed help in those situations.

You swallow the lump in your own throat and continue, “You don’t have to have an answer or anything right now, I just want you to know how I feel.” Law doesn’t say anything, and so you continue while trying not to sound disappointed. “Merry Christmas, Law.”

“…”

“Law?”

“I like you too.” his words come out sort in a rush, like he had been holding his breath.

“Y-you do?”

“Yeah.”

You can’t help but smile.

“Well, uh, I have to go now, but… Can I call you tonight?” He asks hesitantly, even though you’ve already confessed that you feel the same way he does.

“Yes, that’s fine! I… I was worried that you didn’t feel the same way for a second.” You laugh, light and airy.

He scoffs, but you know it’s not meant to sound mean when it comes from him. If anything, it’s endearing. “Of course I do.”

You giggle again, “Bye, Law.”

“Bye, y/n.”

As soon as you hang up, his nervous frown turns into a small smile, and it grows and spreads across his face until he’s grinning like a fool and hiding his face under the brim of his hat.

[md-confessions]

I love and hate the MD community. this goes for any fandom of a larger size since im used to being apart of smaller communities and circles but MD to me is a special case because I really love the show to death and I want to make fanart and I want to talk about theories and headcanons but the community is just so unapproachable to me at times. I love the fanart and there are so many amazing people in the community but it feels almost embarrassing being apart of a community that actively can't respect other's ships and that makes me scared to even talk to fans outside my close friend groups. I need people to understand that everyone has their own opinions and that's ok. I love nuzi but I also love envy and vuzi and vizzy and- hell basically any ship that I think makes sense and could be cute!! Some people think Nuzi can be/is platonic and that's ok!! Nuzi is for sure canon as a romantic duo but that won't stop people from forming their own opinions and headcanons about the relationship and i think thats beautiful.

Also, I've been reading fanfics lately and honestly the writing in this community is amazing. I usually only read the fluff or slice of life stuff since I don't think I can handle anymore angst. but the way people write interactions between the characters based off their interpretation of the characters' relationships is truly adorable. Also, another confession within this confession, I LOVEE VUziN (Uzi x N x V) as a throuple and I LOVEEE reading about them. I'm starving for more VUziN fics since I think I read them all at this point. I hope people write more of them. and I don't mean V and Uzi fighting over N or V and N fighting over Uzi!! I mean all three of them loving eachother equally.

.

[zooburrygon]

Writing Requests Open!

Hello! My name is Zooby. And Im new to tumblr!!- opening to requests for writing!

Free of charge,but it may take me a week or so to finish a request based on how long it is.

What I will be writing

Hannibal, Hazbin, BG3, Genshin, Helluva, South Park, HxH, Venom, Arcane, Dead Plate, Marauders, Chainsaw Man

Fandoms/Ships I am familiar with (Please Ask)

I will take x readers prompts and headcanons

Vampires, monsters, fantasy in general!!

OC prompts and requests

Angst, Whump, hurt/comfort, fluff, enemies to lovers, etc.

Alternate Universes

Crack fics

I can write NSFW but I will reject it if it makes me uncomfy!

What I will NOT be Writing

Incest, Underage Smut, pedophilia,

Romanticized abusive relationships (I can write abuse however I will NOT romanticize it)

Non-con

Age regression, age up, etc.

Real people

Beastiality

My ao3 user is Zoobers! Which I will use to post larger requests or personal projects!

[freebooter4ever]

does anyone else have tropes in their own writing that would only make sense to them? if you've ever read multiple fics of mine and come across any background character named 'janet' or any character whose name starts with a 'j' or is similar to that - those are all the same character. Its this weird obsession of mine - to put real life people into my fanfic. And each 'janet' is a new version of my great aunt janet who was, to put it kindly, a holy terror. She was mean to everyone, she hated children (though she tolerated me because i silently did everything she told me to and would help her shell peas on the farm when we visited), and she died old and alone. But her life was pretty sad too - she grew up when women weren't educated much, and she never married and instead of living her own life was left by her older brothers as the caretaker of their mother, basically until the day she died. So in my stories all my 'janet's lead beautifully full and happy lives with lots of friends. None of the main plots are about janet, obviously, but if i need a side character i just plop her in there and invent a better life for her than the one she was stuck with.

I do this with grandma too. If there's a random little old lady in my fic it's probably based on grandma. The most popular being Eleanor from DOA. I even wrote a short story about an old woman who knits and spins her own yarn, and pricks her finger on the spinning wheel to become a superhero and save her suburbs from aliens, but instead of fighting the aliens ends up befriending them and adopts them as a sort of alien cat breed. It was entirely based on grandma jojo, who -if you think my insecurities are bad - is even worse when it comes to believing she can do anything. She doesn't think she can do anything right, so she never wants to do anything because she knows she won't do it well. This baffled grandpa jojo, who used to try to teach her about airplanes and rockets and wanted her to go to college. And this equally baffled me my whole life - when i was really little i apparently wouldnt let her just sit beside me, i made her draw too. So all my stories feature larger than life superhero grandma characters.

And lavender - this is one people have caught me on, lol. Because I use it every chance I get. Grandma callyerdogsoff was a poet and an artist herself, but writing her into stories as a character feels impossible. So instead i use her signature scent. She died in 2010 but sometimes if i think about her i can still smell lavender.

People belittle fangirls, fanfic, and fanartists and say this stuff isn't worth anything compared to 'real' creative work but. I dunno. There's so much more to it than people imagine. I know none of my writing will last beyond my lifetime, and that none of these little tropes will be teased out of it like in english lit class. So whats the harm in writing within already built communities that share an established passion? My 'original' work always feels lonelier than the stuff written with an audience in mind. Why is writing my original work so much better when it just sits there and is never seen by anybody other than me. Compared to the fanfic where im writing my stories about other people's characters and using my words and my particular quirks...and usually interacting with a whole community of friends and fellow writers.

[sergeifyodorov]

I just reread strange trails and I'd love to know your inspirations for it! Your ideas behind the worldbuilding, the genesis of the plot, all that good stuff if you'd like to share!

the backstory

im a college student and was unemployed all summer. in order to pass the time while waiting for local jobs to reject me i started a crochet project. throughout pretty much the entire month of june. and possibly also may. i would make my squares and listen to the strange trails album. straight through. every day. i may have gone a little bit insane.

but it's okay. i'm already insane.

lord huron (the band who made the album) has like. lore. am i familiar with this lore? no i am not. am i aware nonetheless that there is lore? yes absolutely. if you listen to their discography there's definitely lore -- recurring themes (resurrection, adventuring, magical seductive women, etc), motifs (depends on the album but strange trails is big on flowers, trees, snow, although there is one song that's set in the desert), characters (they keep mentioning a guy called the world ender.) anyHway the point of all of this is that the music is [solid 7.5 out of 10 but it scratches my exact brain itches] and very evocative of the imagery and idea of a deeper world. my favourite off the album (and one of my favourites in the discography) is la belle fleur sauvage, which tells the listener about a long perilous quest for some mythical thing (a flower. also a woman. metaphor), although one of the ones whose imagery i enjoyed the most is frozen pines, which is a little less concrete but invokes images of cold, the side of a mountain, strange happenings, etc.

the idea

those songs are definitely the most direct inspiration for it but unfortunately my process for developing ideas is kind of terrible because it involves less "sitting down and coming up with stuff" and more "wait for a 60% formed idea to smack you upside the head like rapunzel in tangled and her cast-iron frying pan." which quinn and his sad little corpse did.

if you go back far enough in the quinnfic tag on my blog u can see the post right after it Happened. the idea was literally "quinn hughes carries a corpse up a mountain, and horror."

so i take this little piece of grit from which my pearl of questionable moral integrity will be built and i ask it questions. first off: quinn, why are you on that mountain? who is the corpse? is anyone else with you? soon enough petey decided to join him (although quinn is and was always the protagonist/pov character). the body was The Ghost Of Vancouver before it was brock over top of that.

another inspiration, which i realize i'm leaving out, is this

this is artist grayson perry's work "hold your beliefs lightly" from tomb of the unknown craftsman, and this image of a long perilous upward journey towards some sacred place really combined together with la belle fleur sauvage to form the base idea of the world for the work.

and of course why would you carry a corpse up a mountain to some sacred place if you couldn't resurrect it at the end?

quinn

im big on metaphor. if i'm writing something long it has to have a Point to it, some larger theme than romance and stuff (this is mostly because i'm bad at writing romance)(and also big on curses and the like.) and also because quinn hughes asexual barb i never fucked/i never fucked/all my life man, fucks sake. this was also being written right before the peak of Canucks Captaincy Debate, and in our hearts didn't we all know quinn was going to be the one to wear the c?

so it became pretty clear pretty quick that as well as my attempt at writing horror that this was going to be a quinn character study -- and this is where i should talk about my other fic scheherazade.

in scheherazade, auston actually doesn't make a lot of choices -- he tags along, arguing with the narrator/bill, and only starts to take an active role in the way the story is going near the end, when he finally gets sick of it all. quinn, however, is not at all the same kind of person as auston. he's less artistic and more practical; an older brother instead of a younger one; jewish; not nearly so squeamish. he takes an active role in the story from the very beginning, showing up to the base of the mountain with his pack full, both prepared and not for what lies ahead.

the mountain

vancouver is smack in the middle of the north shore mountains, so there's a million hiking trails about, but the one i can most easily think of (as someone who hasn't been to vancouver in several years) is the grouse grind trail, a popular and fairly short trail that the canucks prospects actually do every year, so i knew quinn and petey (both vancouver draftees) would be familiar. i've never actually done the grouse grind, which was part of the reason i decided to kind of. toy with reality. you can't call me out on inaccuracy when it's Not Real On Purpose (although the sign at the 1/4 mark is copied directly from photos i've seen.)

petey and the plot

once i added petey, i knew i'd have to get rid of him -- a lot of the scene ideas were quinn-only, and petey's way too sarcastic and useless (AFFECTIONATE) to engage seriously with the ideas presented to him like quinn would and did. so i needed to divide them up.

the original plot idea from the outline is actually pretty similar up until the end of chapter 6 (the conversation w the ghost), but it differs in a few crucial ways -- one, quinn breaks down again, crying and everything, and two, he actually does go through with the resurrection instead of using his wish to get petey down the mountain safely. i realized around then that this wouldn't work with the quinn i'd created, especially after his argument with the ghost: he's far less focused on glory than stability, less interested in the cup or his contract and more interested in the safe long bet than high rolling. in a cold, wet environment like the mountain it's a lot easier to get hypothermia without noticing than it is in a dry environment, even if the dry environment is several degrees colder than the wet one. and quinn would know that, having seen petey's thin little sweater and knowing his stubborn ass is going to freeze.

so after that it became about hypothermia. i actually had a bit of a writing pause after this because i knew i was going off-outline, so i had to kind of inch ahead until i knew where i was going. but i'm happy with how it turned out!

[gothwizardmagic]

thank you for the tag @lyrasringofstardust!!!

RULES: put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people.

This is a mess bc I listen to a L O T of music so I just went through my last.fm and picked a few from my recent listens that felt representative of larger trends

1. The Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit (I have listened to Midnight Organ Fight almost 50 times on loop this year i am Doing Fine) (ok part of this is me Doing Fine and part is me writing a series of disco elysium fics based on this album) (because im Doing Fine)

2. Hypnotized - Sophie Ellis-Bextor (this is SUCH AN EARWORM god im glad sophie ellis-bextor is back)

3. I Got - Fast Crew (the last couple years ive been digging back into the golden age of kiwi hip hop and man this was an UNDERRATED banger)

4. Goodbye Evergreen - Sufjan Stevens (sufjan's new album is a masterpiece in the most heartbreaking way - hes been going through the worst of the worst and you can HEAR it in his voice this whole album, its beautiful and horrifying all at once.)

5. Padam Padam - Kylie Minogue (ive also been very into kylie minogue's return, and its had me running through her discography a LOT lately)

Honourable mentions; Kim Petras, Hozier, Carly Rae Jepsen, the entire Barbie soundtrack, Montaigne, Bad Bunny, Florence + The Machine, Shania Twain

i taaaaaaag @teacupsandcyanide @goldenaltar @trombonechurchill @magicradishhead @do-you-have-a-flag @jaserp @lemonbubble @unsureprincess @toyourliking @anatahia and anyone else who wants to do this pls @ me i want to steal your taste in music

[angstics]

Thought about a line that i am certain every single grantaire x enjolras fic writer has thought of. And yet i will include it. Because it bangs. It even connects back to valjean’s “i am a man, no worse than any man” and javert’s YOU WILL STILL ANSWER TO JAVERT (THE LAW, GOD!!!!). the self-symbolism vs self-humanizing, all that buttery literal and meta goodness 🤌🤌🤌

heres what ive been thinking of. i want to write a post-canon, canon divergence fic (mostly based on the musical because ive only read a little of the book so far) with NO historical accuracy, i just want to put these two guys in a situation. ok so the au is, what if enjolras and grantaire are the only ones to survive the barricade massacre and theyre sentenced several years hard labor for treason. this is almost nonexistent on ao3 but maybe it’s somewhere on livejournal or wattpad or ff.net or something. so far it’s my personal little idea. in my head, it is so disrespectful of the victims of labor camps and prisons. im interested in the aesthetics of physical labor, the romanticization of the male form… the sweat and tire and exertion and torture… the total breakdown of a self when being used as a machine. putting such Stark Symbols in this setting is so FASCINATING to me. it forces e and g out of their heads into their bodies — that loss of autonomy itself a violation. i want to see them fight to be human beings rather than fighting to be symbols. i feel the barricade is marked by a freedom that allows them to be larger than life… they dont have that freedom here. their fight now is to be men, rather than machines. i want to know how that feels. I want to know how it feels to once be a symbol, i want to know what identity they have without it. I want to know how they chase after these past identities. And i want to know who they are when isolated together, the only people who know who the other is because they are the only people who knew the before. I have a faint idea who enjolras is now, but i have no clue who grantaire is. i wonder if they each get a taste of the other’s medicine — enjolras given up, grantaire enflamed. or if surviving fuelled their previous stances. if being beaten by the system firsthand changes things… is there hope, is there a future?

the romantic relationship kinda goes back to the romanticization of pain lol. i dont know if either of these men ever allowed themselves to be happy. living day by day as people, trying to survive, i think creates an intense need for release. i think the environment also necessitates allyship and company more than ever. i havent thought about this part much, at least compared to the thematic meaning and possibilities. BUT i did think about a hyperdramatic romantic moment this morning while thinking about The Themes. this is what i was talking about with every fic probably having something like this (wouldnt know, havent read any). the moment goes something like:

Enjolras had been picked muscle by muscle, tendon to joint. He had never felt such weariness. “A man on his own can’t be a revolution.”

Grantaire knew that was not true. You were mine.

the people too must rise. in her kiss i taste the revolution. 🙌

[neomedievalist]

hi aleph sorry for putting p5 in your inbox. im going to say shuake but Also I ask you (optionally) to consider it from the perspective of someone who merely played the game and didn't interact with the fan community

how do you even approach shuake in the year 2023. man. your point about the fan community is an extremely fair point to make bc like. like i was saying before SO MUCH of persona fanbase is so warped based on fan perceptions of characters and its like. distill it and wash that away what do you have left (a shit game) (sorry) but like.

okay this hardly needs to be said but obviously the way persona fandom approaches shuake is EXTREMELY yaoibrained. like, the things that the strongest most powerful fujoshi archmages on tumblr are concocting? What on earth. like. and this ties in to awful fan characterization of akechi, lol. i think there really is, to be honest, a particular inherent problem in fan characterization of shuake (aside from the standard) in which you sort of smooth out the edges of akechi and make him more palatable and acceptable to put him in a relationship. fanfic is wish fulfillmnt at its core and i think...its not unreasonable to say a lot of people are projecting onto him and the healing they wish they could have, but its at the expense of his own character. like, people datamined akechi in therapy and then fucking ran with it. im going to say it outright: shuake is a really interesting pairing that i dont see working in any way. but its the same, or similar way that i dont see jonwalt ever working in any way (yes i see your second ask :3) i think its fun to explore but if i see you writing about a domestic life with them im like, lol. Lol.

on that note, im gonna be completely honest, as much as i love marigolds, i think the actual shipping parts of it are boring as hell unnecessary and i do not care about them, and this is a fic that ive repeatedly said has the best p5 characterization and writing ive ever seen and singlehandedly fixes p5 writing lol. the marigolds author expertly crafted a situation in which shuake would work and would be healthy (not perfect, but a lot better) and it genuinely is just like.. i am not invested in this? i am invested in this because of akechi's healing but part of akechis healing is like, talking to people who aren't akira? Lmao? sorry bit of a tangent.

honestly, its kind of impossible for me to think about what it would be like without the p5 fandom. can you imagine playing through the entire game while never seeing a shitty persona 5 meme? well i can honestly say it probably would have occured to me and i'd like it as a ship but it wouldn't be really that significant to me honestly. at the same time my experiences are clouding it! so i really cannot say.

lots of text here. anyway. p5 fandomwise, theres never been a more yaoibrained ship in existance EXCEPT FOR SOUYO. however, in terms of actual p5 canon, just slightly to the side of yaoibrained, as its not unreasonable to see it by any means but you do have to be a specific type of person to build that up in your head to something larger

[n7punk]

oh my god I hate to think you thought people weren't LOVING lmr chapter 4! seems like there really was a universal lag in people not seeing the update, myself included. maybe more of your followers like football than u thought...

i didn't know there was any football stuff going on lol. i know there Are A Lot Of Sports Fans in the world in general but my vibe of the catradora fandom is that our football-viewer percentage is lower than average, unless you're talking about women's soccer 😂 i also think it was influenced by the archive having issues that day (partially down) since i had at least two people tell me they never got an email. I also didn't really mention i posted it on here - which i don't always do for fics, but i had been doing for the previous the chapters. i usually only mention it if im posting something or answering an ask anyway and can tack it on without like, having to make a Whole Post dedicated to it (this is a theme that will return later in this post)

normally when i do fic notes, i include a "what's next" section, but i left it off this time because im not sure, actually! i was initially planning (like, back a month ago when i first started writing) to do an au next but it would be a Lot and my interest is swaying towards canon rn so i thiiiiink it will be some OotW fics since i have a few wips for that and one In Particular that i need to figure out if its a one shot, or multichapter fic, or like two or three fics in a miniseries. i have like a dozen wips rn so its really hard to say.

i actually only realized i was posting on valentines day like two hours ago when i was given someone's milk chocolate haul since they only like dark chocolate lol. honestly im a bad person to ask this because im not one for dates or gifts or any of the stuff valentines is based on. i dont like Special things i just like the little everyday stuff, so valentines seems like a chore to me and its hard to come up with stuff for it. it also depends if you're talking like, in a modern au or for the etherian equivalent of valentines day. my vague answer is just they take it as an excuse to spend an entire day together since they love being around each other, or they go on a fun little adventure they havent found the time for yet. i can see them doing stuff with glimbow "double date" style too.

the answer is both! i go days without messages sometimes (which works for me because i like talking to yall but it also takes energy) and then other times i get a bunch at once. messages naturally gather around talking points (specific posts, fic uploads) so like, ive checked my asks twice tonight and had a decent number of asks both times, but when i posted chapter three i waited a few hours to gather some asks before replying since i knew they would be trickling in for the evening as people read the update.

it's also taken me two hours just to type out the replies in this post (which might give context to my "asks take energy" thing) so during that time more messages can come in and be answered in the same post as long as i remember to check right before i go to post it.

i like putting them all in one post just because it makes my blog and the dashboard experience Neater so i do it when reasonable, but i dont usually wait more than a few hours for the purpose of collection, if i do at all. it also lets me reply to and acknowledge some messages even when i dont have anything to say to them directly (like, i didnt have a reply to that ahhhh anon on its own, but it made me laugh so i wanted to post it, and by putting it in a larger group i can do that).

oh thank you! i feel like its something im actually terrible at since i do have a tendency to ignore/delete messages when im not up to talking (in general, or just dont have anything to say on the topic/in response). i do really love my comments and message tho so thank you to everyone who leaves them! i hope the blanket thank-yous are enough because usually they're the best ive got lol

idk i feel like never figured out the social interaction of thanking people (even/especially irl), so it makes me not reply to comments much because i feel like the best i can do is a canned, one-sentence "thank you!" response (and, of course, that still takes energy as mentioned with spoons, which doesn't feel worth what it "gives back" you know).

actually, ive talked about this for so long, so let me just take a temperature and i can gather responses (or post replies, those are great too!) for a bit: 1) are comments sections usually just [thoughtful comment]["thanks!"] and im otherthinking this because i havent read other author's comment sections, 2) do you Care if an author replies to your comment or not, at least when it's not a question (like, does it influence your decision to leave one if you think they won't reply. i personally don't care at all which is probably where part of my whole thing comes from), and 3) if it does influence you, does a simple "thanks!" really add anything to your decision. im almost certainly not going to change my approach because it's what im comfortable with, but i would like to know if im expending an unwarranted amount of mental effort on this XD

i have before! it's called Let's Get Physical. frankly its just harder to write lol

(also going back to the gathering asks thing, this ask came in while i was writing this post and thus got tacked on right after i posted it)

i have more lmr asks but im waiting until morning because spoilers and i want to put the reply to one in the fic tag so i think that should be in a smaller, more focused post.

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

5 Favorite Fics I’ve Written

For Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day

Thanks for the tags, @mostlyinthemorning and @lizzie-bennetdarcy.

Well, here goes nothing 😂.

1. The More You Know-I used to play competitive bar trivia twice a week and this fic was born out of that. Except no one in my league ever quite had the connection David and Patrick did. Patrick is a musician with a secret; David wants to win $50,000 dollars in a trivia competition. Of course, they fall in love along the way. I managed to work in as many fun tropes as I could, a break up scene that breaks my own heart, and a sex scene based on the memory palace, so I am proud of how this turned out.

David Rose needs a sixth person for ultimate (trivia) game play. Enter Patrick Brewer.

It's two smart idiots falling in love.

2. I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole- I love this fic with my whole heart, and I love David and Patrick in it. It’s hard subject matter (Patrick experiences a true medical emergency in the form of a stroke and loses his ability to speak) but it is truly a love story. It has multiple POVs, including an outside original character, and it all weaves together to show that David and Patrick don’t need words as much as they need each other. It means a lot to me for lots of reasons, but not the least of which is how many people shared their own stories and gratitude in the comments, and how several people told me they used the information about stroke awareness to help someone they loved. It will always make me cry.

3. people like that are the only people here-I call this “the Thanksgiving fic” but it’s really about Patrick’s queer journey and how his family communicates. It was the first fic of mine that Distractivate beta’d and began our epic friendship, so it will always be super special to me. I loved writing the Brewers, and I regretted deeply involving the Roses at the same time (I’m kidding) but it taught me how to juggle multiple larger-than-life characters in a pivotal scene and for that, I’m grateful. And I think the ending fucking rocks.

4. Some Days Are Diamonds-A trend is definitely developing for me in that I love hurt/comfort fics. I love reading them, I love writing them, and this fic encompasses that love, I think. It’s David living with chronic pain, and how he and Patrick navigate that, together. Like with the stroke fic, I was once again blown away by how many people shared their experiences with me in the comments, and felt represented and heard and seen. I promise you’ll laugh as much as you might tear up while reading it, and David and Patrick’s love shines through.

5. Hook, Line, and Sinker-I wrote this for a fest and it was not widely read lol, but it’s a fishing date that Patrick takes David on early in their relationship (inspired by Noah in waders). I recently re-read this and I have to say, some of my favorite jokes are in this thing. Fishing is a filthy, filthy sport. But beyond that, I like how David just wants to get to know Patrick better, even if it means terrible rubber pants and live animals, and Patrick, in turn, wants to be known. Also I wrote one of my favorite kissing lines ever—David kissed him then, more in self-defense than anything, but as Patrick deepened the kiss, it turned into something new. David was always fascinated by the differences in their styles; how David always kissed Patrick like it might be the last time, and Patrick always kissed him like it was the first. Not to say that he was fumbling or tentative, but that it was exciting and thrilling and fresh, every time.

Tagging @im-televisions-moira-rose @rmd-writes @doublel27 @vivianblakesunrisebay @sullymygoodname and anyone else who wants to!

[trickstarbrave]

Hey there, I hope you're having a nice day! This is for the Fanfic Writer's Directors Cut thing. I would like to request anything you have for Alduin's Bane. It's one of the best fics I've ever read (and is by far my favorite AlduinxDragonborn fic.) and I would love to know more about anything you'd like to share/commentate on from it!

If you'd like something more specific, maybe the first few paragraphs of chapter 35? Where they discuss Alduin's ability to eat souls and such.

Thank you!

thank you for the ask i was hoping to get some because i like to talk about my fics so much my roommates are sick of it

i have Much in the way of director's cut commentary on the fic to the point i could fill like several essays with real life mythological inspiration and other plans i had to scrap but this one i can talk a normal amount about (i hope)

a lot in the way of elder scrolls mythology isn't explained in full or is directly contradictory or unexplained, but unlike in real world mythology where you can simply say its only a reflection of the culture if you wanted to analyze it, the gods are real life sentient beings who at times have a very proactive role in people currently alive. so stories about random stuff alduin does or how he is just supposed to sit and wait for the end of the world didn't make sense in the larger plan of the gods to me, especially as an aedric being. in canon it's implied all dragons can eat souls (at least based on what odahviing says when he explains alduin's hunting grounds he 'selfishly guards' implying he doesn't let the others eat souls), but i think it was supposed to be a core function of alduin and the other dragons as gods and aedric beings. if you go the war hypothesis it could have been used in combat, but really the idea i was going for was:

people die and want to go to sovngarde, a particular realm of aetherius. if they are deemed unworthy, which seems like it could happen fairly often, i see many not wanting to take the consolation prize of wandering around some other afterlife. so what probably happened was alduin was tasked with devouring the souls of those who were unworthy but refused to stop bumming around sovngarde crowding up the fields. however, as his appetite and rebellious nature grew, he started to eat any souls he wanted, including those who are worthy and simply battling for eternity in the fields. which is a problem.

i also imagine it would also not be that hard to simply kill someone and eat their soul on the spot. they would be dead dead after that. super dead in fact. and given this is kind of an op power (so long as alduin is hungry) it probably has pissed off more than a few daedra who have to see their loyal followers get killed and eaten immediately by the aedric twilight god. i do whoever think a daedra would be far too big for him to eat so that is at least off the table.

i am planning on elaborating on this further in the fic with some of the daedra stuff to come in the form of molag bal and hermaeus mora stuff, but i dont think this is a spoiler to talk about or anything. i've hinted at it enough times and implied it i think the commentary

also im really glad you like it it means a lot to me. this started as a fun little idea (the first like 3 chapters were just gonna be a little one shot) and has blown up into a very complex story i never intended to tell but im really loving. to know other people also rly love and appreciate it makes me

anyways let me know if you have any other questions or things you want me to talk about. writing has been hard atm with everything in my life being nonsense but i am constantly thinking about this story and the world building and lore ideas i have for it i think i could talk about it for like 5 hours

[single-malt-scotch]

i have repeated this thought to some degree in the past but now i have 130 followers so hopefully i dont get sniped for my perspective lol. but as an old school mindcrack vet i just dont get the "c!" stuff. and i dont mean this in a "please explain this to me". i know what it means-- c! means character, cc! means content creator. so i know that and i know what they imply. people seperate the creator into a "character" and people tend to use that to make it clear theyre talking about a "character" mainly when making headcanons, ships, etc.

what i do mean is. i dont understand how to see these guys as characters unless we are talking like Empires, or even as i see WCsmp (or any cc who states they are playing a character in some way)- those servers are when they have very defined characters often with new names (to be clear i havent watched much of wcsmp, but they got that whole witch thing with loads of lore? so?). hermitcraft isnt often that at all... i know s8 was very unique in the way that a few people did that, and some ppl take on a base aesthetic i can see why people would want to seperate things like that to some degree, making an idea/design/etc out of it or coming up with stuff about the bases- but what they do in videos is 90% of the time meta. its normal cc talk, cc talking about their base/work/game stuff etc etc. putting aside s8 entirely there are no 'characters' to take from most seasons outside of bits maybe-- which means that i see people are just like. making a character out of them, despite there being none. i just never get into the larger fandom, lore, etc because in my head i just dont get why it exists. this isnt a jab at the creative fanworks, its lovely, but i see no point to it because it doesnt stop me from creating like everyone else.

it wasnt like this with mindcrack, there was no "c!' stuff. it was just. the guy. the cc. and that didnt stop us from fan art, shipping, headcanons, and fan fics. im not gonna tell anyone to not seperate ppl into c! and cc! its fine you can do whatever. but in my head i genuinely cant imagine processing it this way unless its actually a server defined as a roleplay server or the cc stating this themself in a whatever context. the ppl i watch (esp people like etho or bdubs (yes even way back when bdubs did the b team mafia bit! it was still The Guy doing a bit)) are just themselves to me, the content creator, but that doesnt mean i think its weird to ship them or write them or whatever. it wasnt weird with mindcrack, so my mindset on this just hasnt shifted at all. (but on a personal note- its why i dont like the idea of making specific gender or sexuality headcanons cuz i feel its wrong to overwrite some real person's identity regardless of c! or cc!). when i first jumped in this fandom i was sooooo confused by this idea. i thought some of these people were playing pretty obvious characters with how much fandom built them up. so the fact i discovered this really wasnt the case confused me more and made it really hard for me to understand this perspective, esp with my oldschool views.

[laximpulsion]

Director's Cut Commentary: Ch. 3 i buried my ballast, i made my peace

Actually don't have a ton of notes for this one. We're getting into the part of the fic that just turns into a shit ton of metaphors which was fun to write but i did also go to great pains to check them over and try to make sure they stayed consistent. i might not have managed it completely, so please forgive me if some of them end up being inconsistent (i tried so hard but im bound to miss something) but for reference, here was my line of thinking:

everything fire related is basically leah's scattered erratic thoughts and little things she obsesses over. sometimes they turn into something bigger, sometimes she can let them go.

the labyrinth is her larger obsessions and/or conspiracy theories, like, the shit that ends up consuming her completely.

so jeff's burning house is on fire because she often has obsessive thougths about him, but it's not a labyrinth, because there's no overarching conspiracy theory.

the red thread is basically anything that helps leah see more clearly or make sense of things.

an exit to the labyrinth would, the way i see it, be something that either conclusively confirms or denies leah's theories, or gives her a good reason to genuinely not care about them anymore. thus: shelby being the spy would be an exit because it proves her correct; the plane coming to rescue them would be an exit because it would render the entire question irrelevant since they wouldn't be on the island anymore.

ok enough of that!

this is actually one of the stories that are LOOSELY based on my life. but not in any of the juicy aspects lol. and it was actually my friend not me. anyway basically she thought she lost her wallet and ran around town looking for it, like got back on the same bus she'd taken earlier, went to all the shops she'd been in, and then came home and found it in the fridge (we think she put it there while putting her groceries away). no party crawl or false accusations involved lol

favorite line: leah totally whiffing on her pickup line

[cherrysoulth]

Your thoughts about people that read REALLY twisted, taboo and depraved fiction? Like stuff I’d never engage in IRL but it’s kind of freeing to know I can let go of my trauma in these fucked up stories.

But I feel so immor after every story I finish, yet I always go back to reading more. God I feel so fucked up.

Hii dear Anon! Here goes my extense response because I can't do it in any other way.

Let me say really quickly based on your words alone that if you know you would not engage in them IRL you are probably not as fucked up as you feel.

If reading them is helping you go through a trauma, reading them has its purpose. Even if they are not so morally acceptable (probably basing yourself im social moral, not your own. Otherwise, I doubt you would be reading them or even less going back to them). But if it's solving something yet creating a guilty conscience that later can have negative consequences on your peace of mind, I would consider reading other stuff.

When it comes to my opinion, I'll start by pointing out, it all depends on what you are referring to. Those are very wide subjects and my range for REALLY might not be the same as yours.

Now, I don't think I read anything extreme (compared to the things I'm aware are out there) based on the fact that I have vivid imagination, a really good awareness of everything forming a body, high-empathy and so I know some subjects might come to a cost to my mental health. Still, I read dark fics and sometimes even empathise with the bad/dark/evil character... (Trauma reaction, we suppose.)

I'm aware some things I write myself can be creepy/dark/f-up for others, which brings us to the conclusion that this is a really subjective matter and has a lot to do with personal comfort.

I must also add that in order to know what I wouldn't want to even look at I had to see some things I wasn't nearly comfortable with. But that's helped me know where I draw the lines and what I know I'll just discard. In your case, you must already know your range is larger than average and that's why you worded your question this way.

To my point of view, anything that cheers or encourages the harm of others will always have a rather violent response on my side. Since it goes against my moral compass, I won't engage with and I'll report without hesitation if I don’t take other mesures...

Romantissism and gloryfication of twisted, taboo or depraved actions and psychology are also a big NO. I think it's wrong and harmful. Mainly, because this scenarios can influence someone with a more vulnerable mind.

I'll mention the difference between thoughts and actions: thoughts can be left as that, while actions will ALWAYS have consequences. While we have that clear, I think there's some safety to whatever you read.

There's a few subjects that would make me worry about a person and recommend them to seek professional help. If you are aware in any case that anything you read could lead to others giving this recommendation, it's totally your choice, but sometimes one might need that help.

To end, that one specific subject we all know involves minors, p________, it's unforgivable for me. I won't even say what I would do if I found out anyone around me with that content.

So, I could summarise it as: "I don’t judge often what others read, unless it's swaying to harm others. At the end of the day, it's a matter of preferences and if there is writers for it there will be those who read it." So I'm pretty... Neutral? Unless it's harmful.

I hope this answers your question. 🤔