#this is low key inspired by my own experiences as a kid

[fowlaroundtown]

Was thinking about them recently.

Bonus:

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Co-parenting Found Family

[Miu (has a baby), Rantaro, Tsumugi & Kokichi friend group, Saiouma]

Me: you ever read a crackfic one-shot and realize you'd want to read a serious longfic with the same premise? cause now I am thinking of this stupid.. pregnant Miu shows up to saiou's apartament, asking Kokichi for help but instead of going with the crap about her not realizing she's pregnant for this long, I would like it to be angst inspired by her lhs

Clown: Yessss!!! I read that one!!! Absolutely loved it, mostly because I'm a sucker for them navigating something like this so ridiculously

Me: I liked it too, the joke about her not being able to tell rubbed me the wrong way, but it was actually nice after that, I would read more of it if they write a continuation

Me: basically, Miu ghosts everyone for a few months, not that unusual, she can disappear in her projects, she pops back up to brag about the prize she got for it when she's done, but not this time, this time she shows up to saiou's apartment, severely pregnant and devastated turns out she jumped headfirst into a relationship with some guy, tried to go through with her baby-trapping idea from LHS, because, hello abandonment issues, and for a bit it looks like she's exactly where she wants to be, but then, only weeks before she's due the guy ditches, leaves some note about realizing he's too young to be a father, and he's gone also, I'd add https://archiveofourown.org/series/976308 friend group to the mix, so while Ouma is the first person she comes to, the whole gang unites to help her

Clown: The friend group coming together instead of another potential partner is clenches fist so good. Miu is someone who is pretty fixated on relationships, it's almost as though in her mind she won't really be completely until someone loves her that way. So to give her a chance to move past that in this situation is just so interesting AND ITS JUST SO GOOD! In my mind for her to come to ouma of all people. Because he provided some familiarity to her, some safe space where she can in her own way step back into her usual. And Ouma would low-key go "shit. I'd jump shit too" and shuichi sends him a look but doesn't dare say anything because he kinda agrees. And it's a complete wreck but it's good

Me: yeah, if it's platonic relationships being as important as romantic ones, if not put first (actually, love Kokichi kicking Shu out so he can focus on comforting Miu), I am an insane person unapologetically I just think. found family coming together to raise a child. like if you agree I've done it before with DICE adopting a kid and I'll do it again

Me: Kokichi would agree with being the father, he's going to use it to gaslit their other ex-classmates (I imagine this is a few years post-HPA) into thinking he's the one who ended up with a kid their friend group + Shuichi know the truth of the arrangement, but that's it she might have been in a state of shock when she suggested it to him, but he's embraced it he Will be "the ultimate dad", (she regrets coming to him instead of Rantaro or Tsumugi when she sees all the custom print tees he got) he's telling Kaito about His pregnancy and childbirth experience the next time he comes over, he's preparing stories when it's aliens that got him pregnant, but no it was actually one of those dinosaur foam pills he swallowed, unless… Kaito, who just wanted to eat lunch with Shuichi: Shuichi, who is a simp: [relieved emoji] he won't help you, Kaito

Aalliyah: He swallowed a watermelon seed

Clown: He's taking this so seriously jagdjdhs He laid an egg [pensive emoji] I love shuichi just going along with it. Everyone expects some sort of something from him and he's just "We planted him in our garden from a toe nail and-"

Ves: this is gonna be the most spoilt baby

Me: on some bigger (as in just about the whole class is there) reunion, (probably a regular event organized by Kaede, like a movie or boardgame night) they look to Rantaro, who's always been the most reasonable of their group, and he's just mentally in the hehe hoho I'm an uncle and doesn't have more to add, he's zeroed-in on the baby, will get back to you later, maybe. [replying to Ves] oh, absolutely Tsumugi is part of the problem, always making something but. there is always somebody who wants to carry the baby never left out of sight

Clown: How do the squad [sunglasses emoji] , eventually find out??

Me: I think after Miu cries herself to sleep Kokichi texts their group chat using their emergency code (sacred, extempt from lies) to get Rantaro & Mugi to come over the next morning so they can tackle it together because in reality, he's a little overwhelmed too, and in the moment doesn't know yet if Shuichi will adjust to this with him so they all eat breakfast together, reassure Miu that they'll be there for her no matter what, start making a plan, a shopping list, beginning of a schedule, then Kokichi has to take the first scary step of the plan - talk to Shuichi about it; but Shuichi is like: yeah, of course because how could he expect his boyfriend not to help out? this is literally why he loves him, of course he will go a little overboard when it's for his found family he knew he had to prepare himself for Something when he saw Miu crying on his couch, at least it doesn't involve committing crimes against whoever hurt her, for now.

Clown: It's a big step!! (And very sudden) Even if it'll be a shared responsibility It's an entire new person! One that ouma is already in his mind accepted he'll be there for. He wouldn't immeadiately expect Shuichi to agree to something like that on a whim, but to know Shuichi is willing to look for solutions, to stay and work through it with him without question because of course. Sobs. Yeah. They've GROWN!!! Planning would be hellish though. Oumas filling the table with hundreds of scribbled papers and everything. Yes absolutely we need to sign this bitch up for maternity classes. Fuck it, Rantaro you go too, check in with us later. Tsumugi!! Need 3 months of baby clothes STAT! SHUICHI!! you just sit there and look pretty…SIKE ERRAND BOY GET THIS FOR ME

Me: let's be real, he's the first to sign up for those parenting classes and buying books about it but yeah, he does make Miu go too, for sure

Clown: Yeah he would!! He wants to be prepared

Me: also not to take from egg's family au directly but https://eggs-can-draw.tumblr.com/post/711383943783579648/omg-i-just-thought-so-byakuya-would-be-like Togami's motherhenning = Kokichi here and, while this is all sweet, I think Miu also needs to get mental health help, get that girl some therapy, she needs to work out the flaw with her logic, because, while it was already proven wrong when the guy left her, she needs to be given alternatives and you know, I think she would struggle with her feelings about the kid, it was supposed to be her ticket to being loved, and the kid is certainly getting a lot of love, but… maybe she would want more attention for herself? how is she meant to score a relationship now? she's going to need help understanding that those people are her family and that she's already loved

Ves: yeah!!! i think kokichi would b pretty blunt abt it too he tells her to shape tf up

Clown: YEEEAHHH. Honestly having a lot of people helping her out, some who give out reassurance easier than others, is a good start. But she is in that place where she's looking for something else to latch on. Usually that's the kid. I feel like had she gone through this alone she'd be one of those mothers constantly flipping through "You ruined my life" and "your the only thing in my life that loves me unconditionally" towards her kid. Ouma definitely helps in the way that he doesn't sugarcoat a thing.

Ves: local cluster b morons try to make a child well-adjusted baby'll be ok tho i think

Clown: Yeah baby will be ok! Everyone gets therapy [gun emoji] by law

Ves: praying that includes whatever poor man miu fucked up RIP king the kid is gonna be FUNNY when it grows up tho

Clown: [2 sob emojis] they'll be the ultimate comedian

Ves: saihara please pretend to be normal they need a balancing influence

Apollo: That kid is gonna commit crimes and use the skills Shuichi teaches them to get away with it

Clown: Somehow they pick up only on saiharas ingrained need to find the answer to questions The question is what would happen if a fork goes into an outlet

Apollo: They manage to somehow get the baby proof thing off the outlet and Kokichi fucking dives to stop them

Clown: Miu is just "let it happen. This is how I learned!"

Apollo: Kokichi just looks at her, blood dripping from the cut in his forehead and mumbles about how 'That explains a lot' Kokichi acts like kids will be kids and thus they get injured so there's no need to panic but the kid trips and he freaks the fuck out Like the kid doesn't even fall over. They stumble slightly and Kokichi is instantly there

Clown: He's the doting one. He's sobbing going, "my god. Your going to hate me one day. I'll be cool!! You can do a drug!"

Apollo: Poor Shuichi wakes up to Kokichi sitting up in the middle of the night because he's stressing over if he's cool or not and Shuichi has to remind him that the kid isn't even a year old yet and thus, has no idea what cool even means

Beez: smh shuichi just lie to him and say he is

Clown: Shuichi for real he needs to know, is he the lamest guy at the daycare?

Apollo: He's too tired to lie right now. Kokichi bursts into tears because is this his way of saying he isn't cool?

Clown: The pure betrayal!! From the one he trusted most!!!

Apollo: It's 2 in the morning [sob emoji] Kokichi has to have his devices taken away because he's staying up searching up how to be the cool guardian Ves: miu and him fight over who's the cool one when the kid is older (it;s neither of them)

Me: I can see Miu and Kokichi arguing about which one of them is cooler, but it's definitely Miu who lets the kid get away with things (like not brushing teeth) to be cool, and would likely mean the letting them do drugs thing, Kokichi would scold her for that and then his version of cool is teaching them lockpicking and making the scary faces, which in turn, she tells him off for

Apollo: Kid says it's Rantaro and both of them decide that he must go /silly Rantaro is riding the high while running away from Miu and Kokichi

springbug: it [rising the baby] surprisingly goes well too sure the kid might pick up on swearing at the age of 5 BUT THAT'S OKAY

Apollo: I mean, kid's gotta learn at some point Okay but father's day at daycare and just Shuichi, Rantaro, Kiibo and Kokichi all show up [idek why Apollo added Kiibo to the mix, he wasn't mentioned before, I didn't skip anything like that]

springbug: "i'm the father" "no i am" "what are you guys talking about? i look just like them" "sorry ma'am, im actually the father"

Me: nah, daycare, kindergarten etc. people think Miu and Kokichi are divorced or something if they come together they probably have some of their barely censored banter; sometimes Kokichi comes in with Shuichi, or it's Shuichi who drops the kid off on his own while he's on the way to work, kid refers to him by his name and calls him "dad's boyfriend"; sometimes uncle Rantaro or aunt Tsumugi come to pick them up; both Miu and Kokichi love to act like they're a single mom, works three jobs when other kids' parents try to ask them about life, and sometimes complain about each other

springbug: imagine gonta taking them to the park and showing him all the cool bugs [smiling face with tear emoji]

Me: once the kid is a bit older they let Rantaro and Gonta organize a camping trip for them and their friends, Kokichi is crying when letting them go because he's a motherhen and his baby is growing up and not scared to sleep away from home and him because the bugs will kill them

Clown: Miu and Kokichi giving their all to be divorcecore so true Everyone has ideas of the outrageous affair that ended their marriage that never happened

Beez: u just know the tea is PIPING among the staff

Clown: They're picking sides for sure

Me: imagine someone on the staff is homophobic so one of those days when it's Shuichi's turn, he gets told that his gay agenda is the reason the kid has to live in a broken family he's so confused the asshole is dealt with, but the anecdote lives forever also, I think Kokichi is the parent that always takes the chance to help out at school when they ask for a volunteer to join the trip or some event at school idk, if it's an universal thing, but here it's common practice that when little kiddos go on trips around town one or two of the class moms are asked to join after the first time the teacher is like "does anyone other than mr. Ouma wants to join? [sweat smile emoji]" but he persists he's just a little to prepared for anything to happen and kids feed into that energy and it becomes entirely beyond the teacher's control

Clown: OUMA BECOMES A PTA MOM AKSHJDHD The children are the next in line to be a part of his criminal organization so he needs to see them regularly, duh

[writergirl3]

Vacationing w/ 4 Town

So, I'm tired of the cold and consumed by wanderlust rn, so I let my imagination go wild.

Enjoy! 🧡

Robaire;

He’s big on vacations and avidly activates for the two of you to have some time away from everyday stressors. To help with this, there are two places that he’ll likely take you- unless you have your own preference or idea.

The first is obviously Paris. Need I say any more? Not really, but I will anyway. Paris naturally lends itself to romance- always has, always will. Plus, your boyfriend is practically a fully-trained tour guide, and plans the most romantic outings for the two of you. Whether it’s having a professional photoshoot at the top of the Eiffel Tower or a moonlit boat ride along the Seine, Robaire makes your Parisian vacation truly magical. Yes, his plans are extravagant and lavish, but if you want something low key, he’ll happily set up a picnic in a secluded spot on the city’s outskirts, full of French delicacies.

Now, if you’re both in need of a bit of sun, he’ll definitely take you to Barbados. He used to go on vacation here with his family when growing up, and is on first-name terms with all of the staff in one particular beach resort. He’s been going there all his life, and wants you to experience the same joy there that he has.

He doesn’t mind what activities you do, but will add his signature stamp of romance onto anything you want to do.

Jesse;

Jesse is a pretty chill guy, and he also loves the heat. So, unless you strongly object, he’s gonna take you off to an island somewhere. His personal choice? Any of the Greek islands. Probably Spetses or Ikaria. He’s fascinated by all the old ceramics and ruins that can be explored, and he definitely takes loads of pictures for artistic inspiration. You can expect cheesy compliments that liken you to the statues of Gods/Goddesses scattered around. He’ll likely do a bunch of research before your trip so that you can check out the best ancient sites and travel back in time together.

If the history stuff isn’t your scene? No worries! Jesse will have splashed out on an intimately luxurious hotel. He’ll try and find a place with a pool and private beach, so you can laze around in the sun as much as you want. He wants you to recharge on the trip, and the slower pace of Greek life is the perfect way to do that.

He probably won’t bring his kids for the first couple of vacations, but if they accompany you on one of your trips, there’ll be enough to keep them happy while you chill out.

Aaron T;

I head canon T as being a Brazilian/Sicilian mix, so those are his two preferred spots for your vacation!

Whichever one you opt for really depends on you and your preferences. If you’re an adventurous, curious sort of person, he’ll probably recommend Brazil. Expect a personal tour of the city, lots of street food, and a trip home to his mother’s family. They’ll definitely smother you with love and affection- you’ll probably need another vacation  after being worn out spending a day with them (in the best possible way). Unless you strongly object, he  probably won’t book a hotel and will instead choose to pitch up with his relatives.

If cities aren’t really your thing, though, you’ll definitely be going somewhere quieter in Sicily. This is where his Dad’s side of the family are from, but T probably will go down the hotel/resort route for this choice. He’s a beach lover, so finding a nice spot with a private beach will be on his agenda. Again, he’ll be introducing you to all sorts of local delicacies and having fun, adventurous days in the sand. 

In either location, T really doesn’t mind what you choose to do. He’s happy so long as he’s at your side, relaxing and sharing his cultures with you.

Aaron Z;

Z is kind of a workaholic, so you’ll probably have to introduce the idea of a vacation. He’s definitely up for it, though, because he treasures time with you.

Now, he’s not so into warmer weather. If you flat out just need a beach vacation, he’ll of course be happy to go with you. But his preferred choice? Somewhere with a mild climate and plenty of activities to do.

For that reason, he’ll probably choose somewhere like Austria. There are all kinds of hiking possibilities, and skiing too. If you’re not as athletic as Z, though, and want something a little more chill, he’ll happily stroll round the cute towns with you and maybe suggest a light bike ride to take in the scenery. 

The quiet Austrian culture compliments Z’s personality well, and, like the other guys, he’ll insist that you stay in a nice hotel. To round off each day, whether active or chilled, he’ll plan a private dinner for you both in your suite. On the balcony overlooking the neighbouring town and rolling mountains, he’ll chatter away to you in the peace of your vacation surroundings.

Tae Young;

Tae lives for vacations and definitely has a growing collection of brochures on his bedside table. He wants to see the whole world with you, so narrowing the selection down is tough for him.

Like T, though, Tae wants to introduce you to his family’s culture, so he’ll take you to South Korea! He’ll show you his hometown and, if you’re comfortable with it, introduce you to his extended family. He’ll definitely spoil you, too, taking you around cute boutiques and cafes that he likes. You’ll definitely be returning with a whole new wardrobe and plenty of other gifts, so you better have accommodated for extra baggage allowance!

If you’re already familiar with South Korea, though, Tae will definitely suggests a safari vacation in Africa. You’ll probably venture out to Kenya and get a private guide who keeps you safe. After a day of animal-spotting from the safe confines of the Jeep, you’ll both camp out in a safe spot on the trail and marvel at the clear, star-filled sky. 

---

Musing Meaninglessly Masterlist

[thecoffeelorian]

Overwatch, Chapter 4

Inspired by ASMR

SFW

Word Count: 1.3k

4 of 5 Chapters

Created for TBBAW 2023 @tbb-appreciation-week

DAY 5: CROSSHAIR

Characters: Crosshair and Omega, aka You are Omega because the usual ‘x reader’ tag will not work here.

Tag List: @groguandthebadbatch

AO3: Click Here

He’s gone now.

You repeat this sentence over a few times in your mind, if only to keep your heart from racing any faster.

He’s gone now. He’s gone now. Crosshair helped him see just a little bit of reason, and he’s gone now...

“I think you can relax now, kid. They won’t be back again for another hour.”

“You’re sure…?”

Your voice comes out as a frightened little mumble, yet to his credit, Cross keeps his retorts to himself. At least, at this moment in time.

“Positive. Now, back to work...what happens after you have your bow and your, ah, borrowed key-card?”

You remind yourself to breathe as Echo taught you to do long ago, back when your nightmares dragged you away to Bora Vio and made you believe the Kaminoans had abandoned you as one more experiment in their tanks. In through the nose, count to five, out through your mouth while counting backwards to one. Repeat as needed.

“I would...I would have to wait until the guards’ next shift change. They’ll be too busy trading weapons and swapping stories to notice that I’ve wandered off.”

“And then?”

“And then...I take the elevator to the hangar. It’s got to be close by here, otherwise all these doctors would take a lot longer to get from there to here.”

“Good call. Now, since you’re armed, cleared, and on standby...how do you plan to get past all those pilots by yourself?”

“By myself?!”

The fear returns as you struggle to make some sense of this, of him, without making that Commando change his mind and come back for another intimidating encounter. He’s joking, right…? Yeah, that has to be it. He’s just playing a joke on you to make sure you’re serious about leaving.

“What do you mean, ‘by myself’? Why do I have to go alone? Aren’t you coming with me?”

He can’t be making you leave without him. Not when the way out of here could literally be within reaching distance for you both. He can’t want to be the next person to vanish behind those doors. This is no place for anyone, let alone an already-suffering Trooper.

“Why should I? I don’t belong in that squad any more. You made that quite clear the first time you left Kamino.”

“What—no. No! That’s not true! Of course you still belong!”

You hadn’t wanted this to happen. Whatever went on back there while you created that new routine of odd jobs with high risk, low pay, and moments of fun in between, none of it had a single thing to do with you. After all, you weren’t the one planning to take over the galaxy, and neither had you planned to drag down a long list of native populations the moment that takeover occurred.

“Really? Then how come you were the one trying to do my job when I last saw you?”

“It’s called being the scout!”

The sound of his voice has gone cold, though. Too cold for your own comfort, your understanding, and everything else that has shaped your growth and development up until now. What in the galaxy is he getting at?

“Will you keep your voice down?”

“I said, it’s called being the scout…”

You can’t let him get the best of you. Breathe. In through your nose, count to five, out through your mouth…

“...And anyways, I can only do that sort of stuff about a third of the same distance you normally have. There’s still room for—”

“—Wrong. I’m too severe, unyielding, and incurably evil to ever be around you, let alone live with you. That was what Tech suggested the last time we spoke, was it not? Besides, I’ll just mess up your perfect life of begging for scraps and spouting Republic slogans...won’t I?”

“He only said that because you mocked Wrecker first. And anyways, it’s already messed up. Cid called the Empire on us right before Hemlock stole me away. I don’t think you’d make anything worse, even if you wanted to--”

“—Are you sure about that?”

He’s angry now. Angry with you, the Empire, the Kaminoans, and everyone else who had some kind of influence in bringing him to this point. Angry at life itself, if there’s no other way to phrase it. And when his true feelings finally come out, that’s when you know something important about it all.

This is no longer some one-and-done encounter like you’ve had before, after which you can brush it all off and move on with your life.

This is what real anger looks like.

“Your squad was pretty quick to blame me for getting trapped in that cursed city. I had nothing to do with them wanting to bomb it, of course, but you thought it was my fault anyway. What’s stopping you from pinning Tech’s death on me as well?”

“Crosshair—”

“—Or, for that matter, what’s keeping you from blaming me, along with all the other Troopers whose chips activated, for that order the so-called ‘Emperor’ put into practice? I suppose we’ll just have to pay for Order 66 instead of him?”

“That’s a lie!”

Your voice has gone up a few degrees of intensity. Kriff. They’re going to catch you any second now. You want to convince him that any negative thoughts he thinks you have of him are wrong, that they have always been wrong, but at the same time, you don’t want to deal with any more guards.

“That’s a lie. Nobody’s blaming you for what happened to the Jedi, or anything else that’s gone on since then. I was at the Senate itself before. I heard them trying to help make you official citizens. People out there care about what happens to you.”

“Oh, I wasn’t talking about the Senate.”

It’s here that you look long and hard at his face, taking in every single bruise, scratch, and unexplained head injury...and, perhaps for the very first time in your life, you see him. Maybe it wasn’t just the Empire’s lies that brought him here, or the Republic’s long list of secrets, or even the Kaminoans’ disregard for giving any of their ‘creations’ something else besides an empty existence. Maybe it also wasn’t entirely because of the journeys he must have taken in the meantime, or else the abuse from his ‘superiors’ making his life a lot harder than ever before.

Maybe, in the midst of all of your own struggles to survive...you alienated him.

“I meant your oh-so-perfect family, if not also yourself, turning their weapons on me all over again once they realized I’ve helped you a second time. Oh, they weren’t too happy with me for saving you from drowning, now, were they? What do you think is going to hold them back from punishing me if they knew I helped you escape?

Or, dare I ask, what’s stopping them from getting jealous of me, or possessive over you, or furious at the both of us for daring to bond without their permission…?”

He passes a hand over the left side of his head, a telltale gesture for you if not also a nervous tic for him. His eyes are frozen upon you, daring you to respond...and yet, he’s wordlessly suggesting that the headaches haven’t exactly stopped.

Moreover, you’ve seen that strange lump there ever since he first set that lamp alight. That’s one thing you haven’t forgotten, even if he’s drawn zero attention to it.

And third, you’ve heard him mention one more headache at the start of this conversation, along with keeping it locked tight in your memory ever since. What if, even if the chip is truly gone and there’s nothing holding him back from showing you other parts of himself besides disgust or disappointment...something else got put in?

“...Maybe I will.”

[shiro-hatzuki]

so this might be me projecting a little (okay maybe a lot), but i have a thought on haruka's s2 mv that i need to scream into the void.

spoilers for "all-knowing and all-agony" below the cut. also i will be talking a lot about strict/bad parenting and referencing my own experiences a lot to explain my thoughts. also also content warning for violence and animal death among others that i can't think of as i will be using screenshots from the mv.

---------------

first off, i'm going to be explaining something before getting to haruka proper to make sure we all have context. please bear with me, or just skip down to the bolded text where i get to haruka fr.

so asian parents, right? i have them, other people have them, you who is reading this might have them idk your family, and haruka - being japanese - probably has them. you know that stereotype where the asian parent(s) are all "study hard and harder! also do extra curriculars like studying music because it'll help your grey matter!" well as humorous as it is to me personally, it's also very much based in reality if my experience growing up as well as how my friends' relatives are like (those friends thankfully have more chill parents raising them, but the same cannot be said of their aunts and uncles) are anything to go by. as well as the plethora of media and online posts you'll see made by asians about that type of parent. not every asian parents are like that if that wasn't made clear by my earlier statement regarding my friends, and of course there are non-asian parents who are very much like that (hi american soccer moms), but it is definitely a trope that many a child can attest to.

now these parents have a tendency to show off their children's accomplishments. look at my child! they got top prize at their piano competition! my child got a perfect score on all their tests and is the top of their class! my child is so accomplished, they bought a whole house, two cars, and is the bread winner of their family of four at their young age! it's a metaphorical dick measuring competition as if to show off how ""right"" the parents raised their kids. but what of the kids who can't be the best of the best? who are just average or, worse (in the parents' eyes) below average?

they're treated like failures. one form of this can be that of pressure and comparison to others more accomplished than the child - the form that i personally experienced. your parents might show you the accomplishments of other people your age through telling you stories of their friends' and coworkers' ""more successful"" kids to try to ""inspire you,"" and though maybe they doing it with good intentions, you can't help but hear the words "look at how successful this person is. they are the same age as you with the same or even less opportunities than you, yet why can't you be this?"

and yet another form - one that i witnessed happening to one of my brothers - is the form of being an outcast from the family. treated like the "black sheep," the parents low key (or very obviously) give up on the child as if they're a lost cause, a waste of time, money, and effort. perhaps the parents still love the child in a way and aren't completely negligent, yet for the success-hungry parents, their efforts that they frame as love are turned away from their "lost" child and are either focused onto the child's siblings or other people's kids such as cousins and other relatives, family friends, and students (not necessarily in a creepy way, to clarify, just in a way that prioritizes those kids' success over the "failed" child).

now onto haruka.

so when you're a little kid who has yet to be disenfranchised and, in your parent's eyes, are full with potential, you might have liked to do things that your parents thought made your successful, though it wasn't because you too wanted to be successful. it was because it made your parents happy and gave you positive attention. perhaps haruka may have done this when he was younger based on these lines

however, what happens when you grow up yet your development plateaus? all the crayon drawings that you're good at hardly matter anymore because now they want to to get good grades and talents that you simply don't have and are out of your reach. now you've become the failure that was described above. and with failure comes:

comparisons to other people

admonishment, subtle or not, for being the way you are

attention once meant for you being given to others

and abandonment, metaphorical or literal.

all that? that really grates on a person's psyche.

whether or not haruka was previously seen as one of those gifted children, it hardly matters right now. because right now, all he is considered is a failure by his parents. (his mother's lack of attention towards him is apparent by her disappearing in the s1 mv and a lot throughout s2 mv, though for his father, haruka's fifth interrogation question makes the father's disappointment obvious).

well, this is only part of my current theory for haruka anyways. there are of course other factors that should be considered, such as haruka having a mental disorder such as autism, which could be a double whammy for people with these success-hungry parents since there are still many other there that see mental disorders purely as a negative.

[sarasa-cat]

20

20. where do you begin a WIP? ex: a mood, a scene, a certain character dynamic, etc. does this differ per project?

I really needed to think for a bit before I could begin to answer this.

My initial thought was "this differs so much per project" but then I felt a need to ask myself, "really? does it?"

Every WIP I can think of -- original or fanfic; a fic in response to a prompt or an idea that just happened on its own -- all of started with a somewhat annoying tension between my own hunger to write something while simultaneously having no idea of what I wanted to write.

This is a very annoying state of mind! Suddenly I want to work on a new WIP but my brain offers no further clues. It's like suddenly realizing you are hungry (stomach growling) but having no idea what you want to eat.

Food?

Yes, food.

But WHAT KIND OF FOOD? CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC????

My dumbass brain just pops the message "you want a new WIP that generically fits into Category X" into my consciousness but with no other details.

"New WIP that generically fits into Category X" has included (completely real examples here):

Brain: Write an FFXII wip! Write an FFXII wip! All the cool kids are writing FFXII wips!

Brain: Ya know how Dragon Age has this big sprawling canon? Well, have fun!

Brain: You want a new WIP -- make it anything in the sprawling FFVII canon and make it novel-length.

Brain: Write a series of stories for Cyberpunk! Write a series of stories for Cyberpunk! :D

Brain: Make a story that takes place in a world that is plagued by the following ________ (very big sweeping feature).

Brain: Hey! You want to write a WIP that science-fantasy and something that is vaguely inspired by the style/themes of Le Guin, except not.

Brain: Guess what, you need a new WIP! Make it a contemporary fiction novel that is low key social commentary vaguely related to _______ (a very vague idea from real life).

Brain: You want to write a novel. Um. About a fictional clash between two societies. Um. Like, here: this anthropological theory. Kthxbye.

These annoying messages from my brain -- messages that bubble up from who-knows-where -- put me in a state of insatiable hunger. Suddenly I need to actively HUNT for a more defined and constrained idea that will feed my hungry brain.

I am realizing that there is a special case with prompts that is slightly different but I'll put that on hold until the end of this post.

So, back to the examples above. Let's take that example of "Brain: you want a new WIP -- make it anything in the sprawling FFVII canon and make it novel length."

That LITERALLY HAPPENED sometime around the second week of February 2017. If I rummaged around, I could probably pinpoint the exact date.

Given the state of the world in Feb 2017 I was ready to accept my brain's latest stupidity without challenging it. Why? Well, the events of 2016 (eyeroll) led me to decide in late Dec of 2016 that I needed to deep-six an original novel I had been working on. That created a void because I wasn't prepared to go back to a completely different original idea nor was I in the mood to deal with Dragon Age fandom but I needed to have something to chew on and, one day during the evening sometime in the second week of Feb 2017, the brain just popped FFVII into my consciousness. I can literally remember exactly where I was sitting when this happened.

But, I didn't have a single clue of an idea of what to write. In fact, I hadn't touched FFVII canon in a decade at that time. So I decided to replay the original FFVII and then, after that, I powered through Dirge while just waiting for my brain to latch onto an idea.

I knew that I needed to actively seed my brain with experiences and just ...wait...

And then, on Sunday March 5th of 2017 while taking a shower AN IDEA ARRIVED that was full of MOOD + CHARACTER DYNAMIC and contained three fully-formed-in-my-head SCENES.

I made a point of quick-drafting outlines of those three scenes as soon as I could.

Btw, these were the seeds of the scenes:

Lucrecia going to a job interview at Shinra and, just before the interview begins, she unbuttons the top of her blouse to show off some extra flesh.

Lucrecia is having an affair with Grimoire Valentine and while they are away (staying together at an inn) during field research, Grimoire makes an obligatory phone call home and talks to (college-aged) Vincent briefly before ending the call. Lu asks some questions about Grim's son. He eventually comments on how he feels that Vincent is "troubled" and "directionless."

Lucrecia (years later) is married to Hojo but having an on-again off-again affair with Vincent. She is sitting in the audience at a conference (or large corporate scientific meeting). She knows Vincent is sitting diagonally behind her. She starts toying with her wedding ring while keeping it on her finger, slowly spinning it by pushing it with her thumb while lazily holding her hand and forearm upright, elbow touching the armrest of her chair, certain that Vincent is watching her do this.

There was actually so much more MOOD and CHARACTER DYNAMICS in my head -- because all three scenes played out in my mind like a movie I could watch and I could see/feel the characters acting as if actors on the screen. Immediately, my brain started connecting lots of dots that identified the kind of Lucrecia I wanted to write, the things that motivated her, the way she navigated an unfair system, but also the emotional stability inside her and the trainwreck of lives left in her wake.

.

As for that case of prompts being a little bit different. In a sense, they aren't. Prompts are just the second step.

Real example: My brain, in 2013 told me that I didn't have enough WIPs on my plate already, and that I also wanted to write something short story length and something novella-length in the Dragon Age universe. And, perhaps focus on a handful of characters from DA2 but ... my brain gave me nothing else to work with. Crickets.

So, back then (2013), the dragonagekinkmeme was an EXCELLENT place to find all sorts of anonymous prompts of all kinds, and not just kink-centric prompts. I took an evening to just read through the dakmeme and look for ideas. Eventually TWO prompts -- both were paragraph length scenarios that were character-centric -- struck me as YES THIS! THIS IS THE FOOD MY BRAIN WANTS. And I started writing.

One of the scenarios had the plot conflict and a strong suggestion for a character dynamic. My brain saw that one paragraph and immediately (I really mean immediately) turned it into a 25k novella. I wrote a 500 word test scene and then outlined that novella (about 8000 words of outlining) IN ONE AFTERNOON. I literally started posting that story almost immediately.

The other prompt, again, had a strong suggestion for a character dynamic and a conflict. My brain IMMEDIATELY felt a sizable short-story coming on. I sat down and drafted it. Played around with it for a few days, posted it, done.

--

Wow. That was long.

In summary:

My brain suddenly TELLS ME that it hungers for a story of category X and leaves things really generic. Idiotically generic.

If I have the time (not always possible), I start FEEDING MY BRAIN with anything that might help it figure out what it wants. Sometimes I will feed it prompts (as in that dragon age example).

After some annoyingly unknown length of time, my dumbass brain will suddenly have a conscious realization! Huge portions of the story will just APPEAR as if seemingly out of NOWHERE, FULLY FORMED: Character dynamics, worldbuilding, conflicts, etc.

Obviously, I can sort of speed this process up by consciously FEEDING MY BRAIN and working through potential ideas until something finally clicks.

Also, even when the idea appear with that clicking sound -- this set of character dynamics, this world, these conflicts, this MOOOOOOD, omg this moooooood -- there is usually a lot of puzzling out that still needs to be done if the story is any longer than a middle-length short story. That said, I have had a few novellas appear fully formed. But novels? Lolsnort whatever. Nope. Those involve lots of puzzling out because there are so many moving parts.

-_-

[sylvia-lydia-morelos-baby-2023]

do the math.please see the song 19, VERBATIM. the children were hit by "HOSTILE FIRE" almost every day is an understatement; i don't drive. I lived in hollywood, so i took the bus to that cvs in westwood off of wellworth. THOMPSON set it up: to hurt the children. We bonded. WE ABHOR RICHARD CLAYTON THOMPSON.!!!!i'm glad i decided to work there. he didn't like it. My brothers and daddy are also suffering PTSD and then some. I want a 5150 hold (mental health) on ALL OF THEM...indefinite. AND anything they need. All in the same locale together. their support system. with me, mommy in mind. We bonded, the children and us, is an understatement. ONLY US together. la vecindad (as in LA ISLA BONITA by MADONNA, you can see them singing a love song to me, wow! i'm always praying and worried about them (like EVITA peron who was CANNONIZED, catholic; she is NOT a socialist!cool.) REAGAN let us know. the vids were made during his administrations, see my blogs, etc for more info. MY DADDY AND BROTHERS need to know: i adore them. I told the kids they wouldn't abandon them. They believe it wholeheartedly: MAMA DOES NOT LIE! so they are comfortable with them. All my daddy and brothers have to do is be their ADORABLE selves too, their GORGEOUS selves: si ME GUSTA! yaY. THEY NEED TO HEAL. NO MORE WORK. mama. mama will take care of all of them! YES! i love it! and i am a real FBI, IA, paid. yes? cool. anything they need, anything. they are not USED to stability, their own home, wow! wonderful! i want to keep them there. WOW! low key, private, no media, NO HOLLYWOOD, no parades, no charades, etc. all of them. I NEVER COMPROMISED THE. EVER. "Let the record show, that i took the blows, and did it MY WAY"-FRANK SINATRA. Please help me. Take care of my children; perps keep getting in the way."I can help; i'll do it mama!" "i have more experience than you." said my infant of 19 months."I can handle this, and this and this. you're not a baby, you don't have the experience. TOUGH." i SAID NO! thank you though, for your loving service [hint; I WOULD NEVER PUT THEM IN HARM'S WAY; they did it on their own to save MY LIFE, NOT THEIRS. IT IS ON!!!!!' RAGE!!!i worry about them, AND about my brothers and daddy. THEY HAVE LOOK ALIKES! ARGH! garcia is around. SHE"S RESPONSIBLE come to find out! argh! goodie. i hate her.tough. I'm objective. THE PERPS MADE IT PERSONAL.so...anything they need, low key, not a lot of movement, no publicity, he has AUTISM, my son, Princess Diana's grandson: I ADORE YOU TOO! GORGEOUS you are! Yes, I am MAMA: i also have ADHD. Aren't we GORGEOUS! ADORABLE! BEAUTIFUL! like DADDY & BOBBY & ROBERT TOO. they need to be together; be yourselves. you go TOWARDS FAMILY, not away. TOWARDS family. the bad guys are EVIl they want the opposite, always. Okie dokey KAROAKE? i love you; MY FAMILY. I am the CAT IN THE HAT: OH, the places we'll go! OH!i am WONDERWOMAN! daddy wonderful too, hint. and bobby and robert are too. I'm in charge; you all can trust me; the children KNOW It. if they are acting out, they are worried about me. I love them too; i'll be back. They are the movie ET, honey.what they did. All i did was INSPIRE THEM, my online social media accounts over the years, about children's rights. Boy do i ROCK! just like them! i love you. too.anything they need. I am of sound body and mind. Signed. Sylvia Lydia Morelos, S.L.M., for my children and my brothers and daddy. MORELOS (xoxo 9 Children).5150. I, Sylvia Lydia Morelos, am designating myself their formal CONSERVATOR. they need anything, money,etc. Please take it from my pay: IA, etc. -CASH- or equivalent. please note; it is legal; perps made ME homeless. So...i am legally an UNDERCOVER, agent, on homeless beat. a real FED. AGENT, IA.  I also request back pay, so i can FEED myself. YUM. STEAK IS GOOD. they beat up a female, looks like, for feeding me STEAK. wow. great steak. AWFUL consequence. They threaten anyone else with the same.

AND they too my EBT Cash so that i don't take care of my face, i.e. buy moisturizer, etc. They don't like me looking pretty esp. at MY AGE, almost 50 in two months; i don't look like them, i.e. i'm TOO ATTRACTIVE and i therefore need to show some "HUMILITY" etc. and degrade myself, etc. they're full of shit...and VERY UGLY women and men.  ugh. they keep stealing my property. you know the drill; they've done it to children too... i'm at the library...i will be at orange and sta monica, 90028 in w hollywood for dinner by salvation army "volunteers" they all raped my daughter. cops raped my son also, in full uniform in public out on the street in hollywood, ASIDE from the church rapes; same perps took my EBT cash. for the aforementioned reasons.

Sylvia Lydia Morelos

this is page 2.,..perps getting in the way (hackers, REMOTE IT, online, my guest pass is: 94084415, PIN: 8074.) I'm on Desktop computer BRPUB06, at 4:31 p.m.

/S./

[hongkongartman-mlee]

A Lot OF People In Hong Kong Have The Opportunity To Continue To Higher Education But Why Are Many Still Culturally Unmotivated?—The Respected School Headmaster & Writer Mr Terence Chang Gave An Answer

We get impatient and short-sighted when we compare and compete with other people. Hong Kong is always the winner of the most populous city in the world. The average living space per capita in Hong Kong is less than 1.3 meter for a staggering population of 7 million. Everywhere is jammed with heads. We are forced to compare and compete. An overnight success is the dream of most people here. Immediate monetary results give us instant gratification. For most people, art and culture area are only a remote goal of self-actualization, especially in terms of spiritual enrichment. They will not produce quick material pleasure.

The famous cultural writer Mr Terence CC Chang(張灼祥), former headmaster of the distinguished Diocesan Boys’ School, gave a low moan, “Aww, a man in Hong Kong is often guided more by money considerations than by ideals, emotions and mental well-being. He compares, competes and fancies being as rich as a tycoon. The common situation is that people have no heart or they don’t follow their hearts. Art and culture are not valued because they are intangible. They are usually not treated as part of life and regarded as a non-essential feature of life, reserved for the few, and worst of all, the most time-wasting activity.”  

Mr Chang is a very respected writer, radio culture program host and school headmaster in Hong Kong. I would love to learn how he could do many things at the same time. He smiled, “Well, mission and passion! But those were the decomposed days and right now, I am enjoying my easy retirement.” Mr Chang had been the principle of 4 schools including Po Leung Kuk Tang Yuk Tien College, Jockey Club Ti-I College and Diocesan Boys' School.

Born in the Chinese Mainland, Mr Chang later migrated to Hong Kong as his father, also a school headmaster, wanted to establish new ties here. Mr Chang studied well and went to The University of Hong Kong in the 60s and after that, abroad to the USA. He recollected, “I have fond memories from my childhood in a small village of Sheung Shui where many film shoots were taken. I watched actors acting and storytelling by directors. That was the best of culture in the countryside.”

I asked Mr Chang, “As a culturist, how did you promote culture in school?” He gently explained, “2 key words: ‘cultural opportunities’, apart from the usual ways of just disseminating knowledge included in a syllabus. The extracurricular activities must provide opportunities for a young boy or girl to experience and build connections with the spiritual beauties such as music, drama, painting, design and literary art. Such exposure is important as kids will be inspired and therefore aspire. They will gradually emulate who they are surrounded by and what they ultimately decide to become!”

Mr Chang paused for a while, “But it is not good enough to ‘know’. After seeing and listening, kids must learn to appreciate! Art appreciation is an important process. It helps us bring our own knowledge, experience and taste to the ability of feeling things which are invisible between the art works and us.”

I was eager to know, “Education, even at university level, is common in Hong Kong but why are many people still culturally unmotivated?” He pondered, “Hong Kong is a material and speculative city. Confidence often comes from money. Many people here want to grab money and go. There is nothing deep down inside them. I think when more and more people realize the satisfaction from a nice concert or a book is greater than a Rolex watch or a Hermès handbag, things can be different. I am positive! More and more young ones today care about work- life balance and I think the next trend should be a money-and-soul balance! Not making a lot of money should never be a shame or disgrace. Knowing nothing about history, literature, philosophy, film, music or art in future should be!”

I asked, “Hong Kong now has a government bureau to promote culture.  Any advice for them?” Mr Chang crossed his fingers, “Our government used to and is still very practical and material. All must be counted by numbers and for them a number simply means success.  For example, we want to tell others how many events, activities, venues and audience seats will increase per year. This can be a red herring or the wrong tree. It may show that the government does not fully understand what culture is all about and what it is meant for. The real embarkment should be the formulation and promotion of a set of social norms and human values that can be promoted to transform people here into civilised and appreciative beings. The real success must be that we can feel, on an everyday basis, that a lot of people in the city will change their coarse behaviour, and not the cosmetic phenomenon that Hong Kong is a place of cultural happenings.  The latter is often money-driven and will not be sustainable. The real cultural person need not go out to attend events and yet, say, by being alone or staying at home, he can be very cultural. Culture in Hong Kong must be social education.”

I slurred, “Obviously, you are not a great fan of the new ambitions like Hong Kong being a cultural economy or art business centre?” Mr Chang grinned, “I am not against it. The side benefits will surely help a community become a better place. I am simply worried that such means will become an end. A real cultural society will not in any event be born if art and culture are used as tradable goods.”

I insisted on digging out more, “Master, for you, what is an ideal cultural society?” He looked at me wittily, “Ha ha, by good education at home, at school and in the community, our people will enjoy, apart from making and spending money, reading a book, going to an arthouse cinema, listening to some quiet music, talking with friends about the true meaning of life. In other words, they will always have a heart which is seeking the spiritual emancipation of happiness!”

After the interview, I could not forget what Mr Chang told me, “Maurice, you don't have to let me check what you will write because for me, writers are to be respected and trusted.” A gentleman of real culture is so different.

Culture is not a bed of artificial roses. It is a beautifully craggy mountain where the wild river runs.

MLee

Chinese Version 中文版: https://www.patreon.com/posts/ba-cui-nan-shu-75619332?utm_medium=sharesheet&utm_source=sharesheet&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Book Fair 2019: Terence Chang and Chu Wan Pin  https://youtu.be/S1i5tTs4ldQ  Acknowledgement-HKTDC

Terence Chang – How to make Children enjoy reading  https://youtu.be/QYRvoYSuhpA  Acknowledgement – Sun Channel

Movie “Kung Fu” Trailer  https://youtu.be/PRbPXbgsKyE  Acknowledgement-KungFuTrailers

Diocesan Boys’ School Open Day  https://youtu.be/1XVmOhoTiB4  Acknowledgement-少少肥多多趣

[levinletlive]

Posts & Comments That Provoked Me: Babies Can Learn to Swim, But Also Watch Your Kids

Yes, babies can learn to swim. Children can learn to swim quite young.

Some people seem to be upset at this fact, and while their outrage might be misplaced, the fear that inspires it is not. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say the angry reacts are coming from folks who love kids, maybe even have children of their own, and are terrified of the idea of a baby drowning. That's perfectly reasonable. After all, it's a pretty common parenting horror story.

There is also likely an element of fear that is based on the fact that we don't really trust parents to look out for their children. Given the fact that the last forever of humanity featured almost exclusively abusive child-rearing techniques (with the exception of some small and/or indigenous communities not influenced by western principles), and many of us have been victims of child abuse/neglect ourselves, that is also understandable.

That being said, I don't believe that's what's going on here. I honestly panicked when I saw that kid just drop into the water and float around, barely lifting her head, and when she got to the steps and stood up I sighed audibly with relief that I hadn't just stumbled upon some deep web snuff video. That child is swimming like a champ. I love swimming so much I sometimes want to go jump in the ocean, and I don't swim half as well. Look at her go! She doesn't even need to plug her nose. I was still doing that when I was 25. I still occasionally forget to breathe out a little when I dive or flip. But this baby is closer to a mermaid than any of us will ever be. She's basically a fish.

Yes, I am jealous of this child, why do you ask?

The key here is obviously that this kid is being watched and was taught to swim. Her parents didn't just yeet her into the pool one day and say, "Swimming's like life, Eliza! You sink or swim!"

There is a right way to teach your babies to swim, and while it is possible to teach them much earlier than you'd expect, you should have the facts before you attempt that. You could go follow Elizabeth's account, or if you want to know more right now, you could read this article from the AAP Healthy Children website.

You can also check out the Reddit group BeyondtheBump and read other folks' experiences with teaching their babies to swim.

Honestly, this was a cool thing to learn about. It's unlikely I'll get to teach any kids to swim in my lifetime, but if I was a parent I'd want to get right on it. Swimming is a really underappreciated life skill. It's great low-impact exercise, and it can also be very therapeutic. It sucks that it's basically paywalled by fees and gym memberships, but that's capitalism for you.

So yeah, if you have the privilege of access to a safe body of water, teach your kids. Teach other folks' kids, if you have the privilege of time. I hope anybody reading this can take something useful away from it.

[shina913]

BTS Fic Masterlist

© shina913, 2024

These are all of my original works unless I indicate in my A/Ns that a song, movie, TV show, or certain dialogue, or prompt inspired me. I will never claim another content creator's work as my own so please do not copy, claim my works as your own, or translate and post elsewhere.

Thank you!

Updated, Oct 2023

⋰Key: Fluff (F); Angst (A); Smut (S); Crack (C)

⋰Warnings: Click on each published fic to view.

█ Ristretto (2-shot); F - A - S

A random café work day leads to something more

█ Intersect (completed series); F - A - S

You hate him, he hates you. You were both fine staying in your own lanes--until you're forced to work together on a make-or-break project for your company.

➞Splish (Drabble); F - S You and Namjoon find a way to reconnect after a busy summer at work.

➞Bag of You (Drabble); F You come across an email that wasn't meant for you and it sends your afternoon into a tailspin.

➞The Thrill (Drabble); F - S “Nooo…stop it.”

█ Art Murmur (one-shot); F - S

You and Namjoon have worked together for years. You've harbored secret crushes on each other for a long time but neither of you have had the courage to take the plunge. One summer, you decided that you've circled each other long enough.

█ Stubble (one-shot); S

So Namjoon forgot to shave…

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Namjoon; S

💬 ❝ It felt very similar to an actual date, as if we’d come back to my place after a dating app meet-up – except the part about me slipping him cash in an envelope, of course. The intimacy happened naturally. He didn’t ask me for directions on how to turn me on, I just let him do his thing. ❞

█ Flowerworks; F - A

The love you had in your past...unfinished, untested, lost love...seems so easy, so childish to those who chose to settle down. But it’s actually the purest, most concentrated stuff.

█ Cortado; F

"There must be something about trains. You never know what to expect."

█ Fire to the Low; S

Namjoon gets a new haircut but you have to wait until you’re alone to let him know just how much you love it.

█ Nothing; S

If there was anything that made you feel un-sexy, it was heat and humidity.

█ Dandelion; A - S

You and Namjoon reunite for a special evening.

█ Scions, Kim Line+JHS (ongoing series); F - A -S

Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

█ On Tilt (ongoing series); F - A - S

You’ve said time and time again that you wouldn’t lose yourself to him. You were in control now. You were going to make better choices. For a minute there, you were able to keep up with it. It wasn’t ‘til Namjoon’s extended break that you found yourself falling into old habits. Will you ever learn to quit Kim Namjoon?

█ Scale (completed series); F - A - S - C

Kim Seokjin lives in a world where money is no object as he is the heir to his family's lucrative company; OC is a scrappy go-getter who has to work hard at multiple jobs to meet her financial obligations. When their paths cross, they'll have to figure out whether they can find a balance point between themselves and their lives.

█ Scions, Kim Line+JHS (ongoing series); F - A -S

Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

█ Nothing; F - S

You can’t get laid while on vacation with your kids…or can you?

█ Swing (ON HOLD); F - A

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Seokjin (coming soon)

💬 ❝ Sex is complicated. Desire is usually involved…feelings can end up being involved, even love and commitment may become part of the equation. ❞

█ Revenant (one-shot); F - A

You wake up from a dream and tell Yoongi about it.

█ Churned (one-shot); S

A long weekend away with your friends turns out to be more interesting when they invite an unexpected guest.

█ Whirr (one-shot); F

A morning commute with Yoongi.

█ Stalemate (completed miniseries); F; A; S

"The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over."

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Yoongi

💬 ❝ When I saw my gynecologist recently after not having sex for a year, she told me, ‘You need to be having sex.’ She told me that my vagina was 'drying up.’ Sex, in and of itself and for its own sake, is also important for a woman’s physical health. ❞

█ Glorified Memories; A

Another late-night phone call with Yoongi

█ Nothing; F

Based on @novelbear 's writing prompt: "brushing their hair for them and smiling fondly as they just ramble about their day"

█ Percussions; A

Min Yoongi, a former CIA explosives expert, now works as a hired hitman. You contact him to enlist his help in exacting revenge on a family of mobsters who murdered your family years ago. Complications arise when Yoongi finds a personal connection to your case.

█ Scions, Kim Line+JHS (ongoing series); F - A -S

Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

█ Sunshine: A Scions Story; F - A -S

A look back at how things between you and Hoseok came to be.

█ Nothing; F

You and Hobi try to make dinner until you start bickering.

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Hoseok (coming soon)

💬 ❝ The majority of women are after some company or someone to listen. It’s often easier to speak to someone anonymous than it is to share details with people close to us, for fear of judgment. Also, people who pay for sex aren’t just losers who can’t get fuck in real life. It’s usually about the thrill. ❞

█ Waves; S

It's Valentine's Day and your boyfriend decides to spice things up with a little surprise for you.

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Jimin; F - S

💬 ❝ By the time he knocked at the door, I was a bottle of wine deep. I answered sheepishly, gripping onto a nearly empty wine glass. He let me know that it’s everyone’s first time once and that there was no need to be nervous. I didn’t need to do anything I didn’t want to. ❞

█ Nothing; F

You surprise Jimin for his birthday.

█ Spin (mini series); F - S

You and your BFF are on the prowl--but mostly you. You find a prospect sitting alone at the bar and shoot your shot.

█ Scions, Kim Line+JHS (ongoing series); F - A -S

Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Taehyung; F - A - S

💬 ❝ If I can hire a massage therapist to help relieve my back pain, a hairdresser to cut my hair, a mechanic to service my car and a handyman to replace a broken door, I should be able to legally hire a man to have sex with me. ❞

█ Nothing; F

You wake Taehyung up at the crack of dawn to get some pastries.

█ Gradation (completed series); F - A - S

On your wedding day, your fiancé leaves you at the altar. While reeling from the embarrassment and heartbreak, your best friend, Jungkook, wants to do everything that he can to help you heal.

█ Coquet (completed series); F - A- S

On your brother's wedding, you dread traveling to see your family–whom you have successfully avoided for over a year after moving across the country for work. In an effort to save face, you hire an escort to get them off your back and perhaps even make your ex–who happens to be the best man–a little jealous.

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Jungkook; F

💬 ❝ He’s a confident man who takes pride in his appearance, but also in how he treats other people. He loves to have a good time, but still holds strong values on being respectful and well-mannered. Chivalry is not dead! ❞

█ Satiated; S

A week without Jungkook has you anxious to get him naked...but things don't work out quite as planned. Your body betrays you and you fall short. Will you finish the job yourself or let him help?

█ Permission; F - S

You get more than what you bargained for during your friend’s bachelorette party weekend.

█ Nothing; F

“I was thinking maybe we could take a quick nap?”

█ Self-Care Sunday; F

You arrive at your mani-pedi appointment to find out that your usual technician is unexpectedly out. Instead, the salon owner’s son offers to do your nails instead.

█ The Boyfriend Experience; F - A- S

The Boyfriend Experience. Always discreet. Satisfaction guaranteed.

█ Nothing (masterlist); F - A - S

A collection of drabbles featuring established relationships in domestic and (mostly) fluffy settings inspired by Bruno Major's song of the same title.

[sk-lumen]

Hi Lumen, first off I apologize if this type of question has already been answered or if I am long-winded. How exactly does one go about changing and improving their life when starting from zero? I have had depression and ADHD since I was a kid and it (and, of course, myself) has kept me behind in life. Now that my symptoms are being treated…I’m unsure of how to go forward. I don’t really have any hobbies, skills, or goals. My apartment is a mess, I spend a lot of time on social media, and I have no structure in my day. I do want to change my life and level up if you will, but a lot of tips I see online are for people who already have a general structure or foundation in their life. I was hoping for some tips for those of us with none. How do you go about developing a routine, skills, hobbies, etc from zero? Thank you. 🤍

Hi darling,

First off, let me say how brave you are for being honest with yourself and making the conscious choice to turn things around!

I was in your shoes 2-3 years ago, before I started my glow up journey, so I can completely relate to the feeling of being lost, finding my life a chaos... and the only certainty I had was that I was absolutely determined to create a better life for myself.

For this reason, I curated a masterlist below for all the posts, articles and guides I've written either on tumblr or on my blog. My advice is right now start with tidying up your home, because a clean, organized home will inspire a clean, organized mental & emotional landscape. It starts there.

Then it's time for reading and research! You should focus on leveling up your mindset, for it will always be your foundation for everything else.

I've ordered each list in chronological order for one's glow up process, building in complexity and experience; and also highlighted the ones that will be most useful for someone starting from zero.

Mindset:

My 30-day mindset glow up challenge (tag)

How to develop a growth mindset

11 Keys to a successful mindset

Traits of successful entrepreneurs and CEOs

Prioritize your mental health in your 9-to-5 job with these strategies

Why you keep failing your yearly goals (and how to fix it)

Why you should stop associating productivity with self worth

Truths that have changed my life

Glowing up:

How to get (and keep) Your Life Together 101

Tips to get started on your journey of self development

Things I wish I knew at 21 (a letter to my past self)

What I wish I knew before starting my glow up journey

The healing power of morning rituals

How to be happy (you deserve the gift of happiness)

How to cultivate inner peace: daily practices

How to be a high value woman

Cheatcodes that will elevate your life

Selflove / Selfcare:

Things that encourage self-love in your journey of healing

The stages of living authentically

The art of being your authentic self

What happens when you embody your authentic self...

A manifesto of selflove

What happens when you practice self love daily...

Ways we self-sabotage & how to stop It

My journey of healing: how selflove & selfcare changed my life

It’s time for you to heal: a guided meditation

Essential selfcare habits for entrepreneurs

Finances:

5 secrets to stay on top of your finances

Tips for smart shopping

Fashion:

How to be classy

My guide for classy nails

Tips to always look polished

Relationships:

Toxic vs. healing relationships

Things every woman should know about love

How to get over a break up: a guide for healing

Why the “ride or die” mentality Is self-sabotage

8 dating commandments of the high value woman

Red flags of low value men (LVM)

Green flags of the high value man (HVM)

High value: misconceptions, what it is and what it's not

High value dating: do’s and don’ts

5 things stopping you from high-value dating & how to overcome them

How to know you’ve found the one

As someone who had to learn these things the hard way, I hope sharing my experiences and advice proves as useful to others as it was for me. 💞✨

You can bookmark this list and go over it at your own pace, by your own rules. The point is to just start. Much luck darling! 🥂

-Lumen

[moonbeamastrology]

Guidance From Spirit -Pick A Card Reading-

Hello, this pick a card is about some guidance you can get from spirit. If you’re confused about where you are, where you are going, or are just looking for some guidance in general, this is the reading for you. Center & ground yourself how you choose, take a few deep breaths and let yourself be drawn to one of the four cats shown above. I have them labeled as follows: Small round cat, Chipped ear cat, Witch cat, Wax black cat

Enjoy your reading my love <3

Pile 1- Small Round Cat

Current Energy: 9 of Pentacles R, 9 of Wands

Guidance from Spirit: Devil R

How is Spirit Helping: Wheel of Fortune R

Sea Melodies Oracle: Dance: “Take inspiration from the moonlight dancing on the surface of the sea.”, Wild: “Believe in your otherworldly beauty; dance with the waves and drink in the sunshine.”

Literary Witches Oracle: Sylvia Plath (The Dark) ,Wall, Forugh Farrokhzad (Rebellion), Doll

Hello Group 1! Have you been working through or experiencing blockages in regards to your own abundance? Perhaps you’ve been lethargic lately or have little energy. I feel like telling you to honor the cycles of your life no matter how challenging they can be. If you get knocked down, don’t be afraid to stand back up (and keep getting back up. Everytime you return you will be stronger and wiser than before, my love). Maybe there is some inner child healing that either is taking place or needs to. Maybe accepting some aspects of your shadow as well. Letting your wild side out and rebelling. Rebel against what you know. I felt/heard a need to tap into the aquarius energy of “I’m not afraid to stand out, I don't care if I fit in.” Maybe you have been eccentric or out there in the past but it was not met positively (definitely could be from childhood, being the crazy or wild kid but having to repress that because of family or friends). Like you’ve built this wall around your true self because you’re afraid to get hurt again. There is something final for you to release, most likely that childhood wound or shadow aspect (around money?). You’re so close to finally letting this go and moving forward! Don’t doubt yourself! Dance! Move your body! Exercise! Be free! You’ve been stagnant for far too long and now is the time to physically move that energy out and transmute it. Speaking from experience I know that when you feel low energy or tired the last thing you want to do is exercise or even move at all sometimes, but even having a dance party in your room alone for one song you really love and enjoy is good enough (YOU are good enough). Even doing some light stretching for a few minutes can drastically improve your mood (again, experience). The key is to also do these consistently. I don’t mean every single day but a couple times a week or even once a week is a solid start, go at your own pace and uplift yourself for taking these steps toward healing. I’m feeling that right now you’re in a sort of transitionary period where things feel stagnant. If that’s the case, it’s the universe asking you to heal inner child wounds (or accept your shadow). These wounds have probably penetrated your subconscious which may contribute to feeling burnt out or frustrated because you can’t exactly pinpoint the source. Like spirit is giving you the time and space to heal so that you can move toward this new beginning clear of baggage and with more clarity and stability. If you feel frustrated by this energy don’t put yourself down, instead allow the feeling to flow through you (be seaweed, the roots keep it stable and grounded but it flows with the oceans currents). Give yourself some slack and space to feel through whatever comes up, in a space of love and non-judgment. I feel like telling you to embrace the unknown or to “not be afraid of what you don’t know”. So! Your guidance is to move your body to release some trapped energy through dance or exercise and to continue healing and releasing what needs to be released so you can move forward into this new chapter of your life <3. I love you pile one, have a blessed day, I wish you so so much healing. <3

Pile 2- Chipped Ears Cat

Current Energy: 3 of Swords

Guidance from Spirit: Devil R, The Star R (Clarified by The Sun)

How is Spirit Helping: Judgment R, (Clarified by the 6 of Pentacles

Sea Melodies Oracle: Explore: “Maps show what has already been discovered, go another way.”, Determination: “Don’t be afraid of the rising tide, it will soon recede.”

Literary Witches Oracle: Doll, Volcano, Chicken, Angela Carter (Identity), Emily Brontë (Fantasy)

Hello Group 2! (Maybe you were drawn to group one as well? There’s a slightly similar message so maybe checking that group out could hold a message for you as well.) I see that you’ve been dealing with a lot of pain or heartbreak “harboring a lot of emotions”. Work on releasing/processing this negativity and disappointment. Allowing the emotions to flow through you without judgment. Actively invite in energies of love and positivity. It almost feels like you need to make space for it and the only way to do that is to let go of some of these burdens. Choosing what thoughts you give energy to creating new neural pathways for positive thought. I’m getting that Spirit will help to make this go ‘further’. Explore some new hobbies or create new habits, if there’s something that has interested you for a while and you haven’t put in the effort to pursue it, there’s a reason you are interested in it. Go towards it, please. I’m also getting the sense that Spirit is helping you to silence your inner critic with your help (They won’t do the heavy lifting for you, there needs to be some effort on your part). Some inner child healing needs to take place or indulging in your inner child. This is a specific message for someone, but if you did a lot of daydreaming as a kid but you stopped for whatever reason, you should tap back into that imaginative side. And I don’t mean just daydreaming about your desires but also fantastical stuff that uplifts you or “childish” things like imagining being a mermaid or growing wings could be really healing and enrich your life. Don’t judge yourself for it, let yourself be free to daydream and concoct anything that comes to mind (so long as it’s in your highest alignment). For some of you I heard “bound to erupt” like you’ve repressed some emotions for so long that they’re going to come out one way or another. Tapping into this energy and expressing through art or dance could be especially beneficial to you. The same goes for if you feel that your mind has been especially loud and unruly lately. Either you have or should put some energy towards “finding” yourself, just trying out new things or listening to different music or watching new shows are all simple ways of putting your energy towards finding your identity. This is coming from someone who had an extremely disconnected sense of self. This is what I did that really helped me along my journey of self-discovery. They may seem simple or silly but they helped me out a lot. From this energy I feel some of you may be experiencing something similar. Start small, expose yourself to new things and you’ll be able to navigate your feelings easier as time goes on. It may be hard at first but it truly gets easier with time as long as you remain dedicated/consistent to your goal. All in all I feel that you should be patient with yourself and cut yourself a little slack. You’re doing the best that you can and your best is enough. I love you group 2, have a blessed day. Wishing you all the love and healing that you deserve. <3

Pile 3- Witch Cat

Current Energy: King of Pentacles, 10 of Swords

Guidance from Spirit: 6 of Swords R (I saw The Chariot while shuffling)

How is Spirit Helping: 8 of Pentacles

Sea Melodies Oracle: Dive: “You don’t find pearls on the seashore.” Journey: “Half the treasure is the journey on the path to finding it.”

Literary Witches Oracle: Praying Mantis, Agatha Christie (Trickery), Zora Neale Hurston (Stories), Sappho (Love), Emily Brontë (Fantasy)

Hello Group 3! I’m getting the sense that you put up a very stable, strong, grounded front but you’re actually dying inside. Almost like you want to do it all alone? It’s ok to ask for help and if you have been considering going to therapy or counseling then this is your sign to go towards that. It will definitely be beneficial to you at this time. Like you’re overwhelmed or burdened by something in your life at this time. “Take a holiday” like seriously please. I also heard “sabbatical” so maybe some of you need to take a leave from work (or work is the issue and is causing all of this stress). I feel like you are very much in your masculine energy right now because of all of this stress (like one thing after another has to be dealt with). Maybe you’re waiting for a project to be finished? Or a certain goal to be reached before you feel like you can deserve to take a break? Or if you’re in school you’re waiting for spring break (if you don’t have one planned, maybe consider going on a trip? Even a day trip or being away for a couple of days could be really good for your mental health). “Oh my God there’s so many.” For some reason I want to tell you to look into Plato’s cave? Lol or maybe you have recently and it has become really important to you/really rocked your shit. Whether you have a trip planned or not you should give yourself some sort of break (if it’s feasible). You’re being guided to return to Source energy/higher self. The blocks or stagnation you feel are self-imposed. Spirit is giving you resilience “hard work builds character” even if it fucking sucks you should still give yourself a break but we experience the most growth under pressure (if you can get through whatever you’re going through, you can get through anything). It’s also possible that Spirit will help out in some way with your finances so that you can take a trip. If you’ve been suspicious of someone around you, it’s the mental exhaustion. Because you’re so drained it’s hard to see or think clearly so you’re reverting back to old pathways that no longer serve you. I feel like right now, you should be indulging in what you love (in moderation) or in some Taurean lifestyle (good food, smells, and comfortability. Treat yourself). “Allow yourself to feel again” maybe all of this exhaustion is making you numb to the good in your life, showing gratitude for what you have will definitely uplift you. I feel like telling you to honor your own path and others. Everyone has their own perception of the world. No two people see things exactly the same way. Cut yourself some slack my love, you’re doing the best that you can. I love you group 3, have a blessed day. Sending you so much love and healing. I believe in you! <3

Pile 4- Black Wax Cat

Current Energy: 7 of Swords R, 4 of Pentacles

Guidance from Spirit: Empress

How is Spirit Helping: World R

Sea Melodies Oracle: Turbulence: “The mind is murky in rough waters.”, Move: “Barnacles only grow on a docked ship.”

Literary Witches Oracle: Wolf, Noose, Cauldron, Eel, Sylvia Plath (The Dark)

Hello group 4! I’m getting a closed off energy from you, or at least being very protective of your own energy right now. Keeping certain things secret like projects or ideas (keep doing this). Continue to be selective of what you share with others. Right now, you should relax. Connect with that beautiful creative feminine energy inside of you (no matter your gender) so you can get into a receiving frequency. Indulge in your senses. Create art, dance, play, nurture and reparent yourself. Some of you may need some stillness right now. I personally recommend looking out a window for a while. No matter the season or weather conditions, look out a window and give yourself permission to admire and love what you see (even if you don’t love where you’re at). It’s important that you find beauty in the small things. Just because you have goals and things you want to accomplish doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take time to “stop and smell the roses”!! You can have fun! I’m feeling an energy of falling in love with life again. Spirit is removing blockages from your life. You could be overthinking a lot or feeling indecisive because there’s a lot you want to do and accomplish. Take your time, life isn’t going anywhere, just do things one step at a time (but don’t take on too much, it’s time for you to receive right now). “Walking the night path.” so some of you could be going through a dark night of the soul (stay strong!) or at this time the path you are currently on is being light by spirit (but everything else feels uncertain or you feel uncertain you’re even going in the right direction. You are). Could be working through some heavy shadow energy and you’re focused on yourself and filling up your own cup. You’re unsure of a lot right now, but I’m seeing that something will make itself known to you. It’s possible something new will enter your life and you’re going to feel passionate/very intense about it. Surprise yourself by Not sabotaging it lol <3. Allow it to electrify you. It would be beneficial to connect to water at this time, go swimming if you can, take baths, look at some water, or meditate with a glass of water/while showering if the rest aren’t options for you (no more excuses). And finally, I really just feel like telling you it’s all going to be ok “even better than ok” <3. I love you group 4. Keep doing whatever you’re doing, just remember to take breaks and focus on self love. Wishing you so so much happiness and fulfillment. Until next time, my love. <3

[hauntdoesthings]

Hiii could I request Shinso crushing on the reader that has a "villanious" quirk and people normally think they are scary.

I hope you have a nice day/night💕

A/N: I am always a sucker for this idea with my main man Shinsou, so thank you for this request! Hope you like it!

~~~~~

This could go very differently depending on what course you’re in

If you’re in the hero course, he probably sees you first as a weird mix of a rival and inspiration

Like, you also have a “villain’s quirk,” but you still made it into the hero course on your first try? He’s going to be watching you closely in hopes of learning from and besting you

That’s actually how he figures out you don’t have it much easier than him

If he wasn’t already hearing both your names lumped together, he’s certainly noticing it now that he knows he’s not the only so-called villain at UA

Spending so much time watching you and relating your experiences, it’s no wonder he starts crushing wanting to spend more time with you. You know, just because you two could learn a lot from each other, nothing else

If you’re not in the hero course for whatever reason, he’ll probably be a lot less stand-offish towards you

As soon as he sees or hears about your quirk, he’ll start hanging around you more

You know how you might sort of hang out in someone’s general vicinity when you want to talk to them but don’t want to make the first move? Yeah, this boy is not willing to talk to people most of the time so you’re probably gonna have to reach out to him first

I say most of the time, the exception is mainly when someone annoys him or full on pisses him off. That’s how you meet if you are also unsocial

Just imagine Shinsou walking in on some kids picking on you for your quirk and not being able to make it into the hero course(whether or not you actually wanted to) and he just walks right up to you, calls the bullies pathetic assholes with nothing better to do, and drags you out of their sight

Afterwards, you’re unofficially his only friend. Neither of you really say it, but he only really goes out of his way to talk to you

Once he has a crush, he likes to think he’s subtle about it

He kind of is for the most part, but if you pay close enough attention, he’s not doing much to hide his blush whenever you touch him or how he actively seeks you out and makes excuses to spend time with you(“We need to study for this test and I wanted to compare notes,” or “I’m heading the same way as you anyway, might as well walk with you”)

With you also being seen as a villain or scary by many of your peers, he’s extra protective of you

He knows he probably shouldn’t start fights if he wants to transfer into the hero course, but he’s sure Aizawa and the other teachers will be forgiving if he explains that he heard them talking about you behind your back and they threw the first punch anyway because he provoked them

He’s also super supportive of you, especially if you have less confidence because of your quirk

You want to be a hero? He’s bringing you along to his sessions with Aizawa and sparring with you to point out all your strengths when you feel weak. You’re afraid you’ll actually become a villain? He’s already listing off all the times you’ve helped him and how you couldn’t be a villain if you care so much. Your quirk gives you weird, scary features? He’s there whenever you need, reassuring you that how you look doesn’t make you any less deserving of care or acceptance.

He is just so gentle and caring with you because he knows how it feels to be be judged solely for your quirk and not even given a chance. Honestly though, I don’t feel like he’d confess without some sort of push

It’s just a general hc of mine, but in this case especially. He probably figures that dating him would only make the villain thing worse for both of you, so he either needs a confidence boost or to think he’s seriously going to lose you

Maybe he’s getting the feeling you like him too or maybe Kaminari is getting a little too flirty with you for his liking (I’m always using Kami as a scapegoat😅)

Either way, he probably goes for a more low-key, private confession, somewhere he knows you’ll be alone, both to take some of the pressure off and because he’s a sap even if he won’t admit it

"So, we've been hanging out for a while now, and I was wondering how you'd feel about going out with me? Like on a date. I've actually liked you for a long time now, and I hope you maybe feel the same?"

It’s a bit awkward and kind of comes across like he doesn’t expect you to say yes, but if you do, he is over the moon

Like, we know he doesn’t emote too much, but he’s left beaming for the rest of the day

Rest assured though, whether he’s confessed or not, if he cares about you, Shinsou is there for whatever you need, be it dealing with bullies or your own doubts

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here!

A/N: Shout out to @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​ for inspiring/writing a lot of the headcanons used for the “Bella Suspicion” part of this chapter!

I’m posting this a day early, because, well I’m flakey like that

* You spear another piece of pineapple, your teeth grinding together

* “I think that sounds perfect!” Lauren squeals lightly grasping Bella’s shoulder, Bella gives a small smile in return.

* You know what isn’t perfect?

* The fact that nothing is going according to plan.

* It’s already a month in and NOTHING has happened. You stab another piece of pineapple, sticking it into your mouth

* You’ve hung back in the school parking lot everyday for a MONTH, you were even late to cheer practice once, just to see if the “Tyler Van Accident”  happened.

* Only it never did, and you didn’t know why until Lauren confided that she and Tyler had been hooking up lately.

* As in hooking up at her house after school before her parents came home.

* Of course it’s not going to happen when Tyler’s ditching his last period to drive to her house

* What a mess

* You chew the pineapple carefully, just like a human would. Because even though Bella knows LITERALLY NOTHING. She somehow suspects everything.

* You watch her from the corner of your eye, making polite conversation with Angela about biology next period.

* The amount of questions she has about you is ridiculous

* How did you meet Edward? How does your family know the Cullen’s? Where are you adoptive parents now? If they’re back in the states why haven’t you gone to live with them?

* It’s literally never ending. And that’s just her trying to poke holes in your story.

* You’re not even going to start with all the stuff she’s commented on your physical appearance

* “Hey don’t you think it’s weird they all have gold eyes?” You had heard Bella quietly ask Jessica when she thought you couldn’t hear

* “Not really, they’ve got like six kids, so when one kid needs something more of them do too. (Y/N) told me Alice wanted color contacts so Dr. Cullen just bought some for all of them.”

* And then the week before that, while you were doing a stunt at a basketball game Bella said:

* “Aren’t they like, too strong?” You were lifting up a girl all on your own.

* “Oh yeah- I guess you never saw the video, apparently they’re jacked.” Conner says, with a shrug.

* “Yeah they heard working out helps with stress when they were like 12 and just never stopped.” Mike adds absentmindedly

* And if that wasn’t enough she’s even said this a few weeks before that:

* “Don’t you think it’s weird how beautiful they all are?” Lauren wrinkles her nose, at the time she had gotten used to Bella but she still doesn’t seem to like her very much

* “Not really, I remember (Y/N) wasn’t all that pretty freshman year, they used to wear these really dorky glasses.”

* You had almost started to forget how good you had it, after you did all the leg work in the last two years to establish that you were normal -just kinda quirky- you had just started to enjoy the pay off. A little more lax with your appearance, wearing clothes you liked, doing more solo routines in cheer.

* Only for little Miss.Curious to show up

* Now you have to try extra hard to look human again. And not just you, the entire coven does, because when one of you falls under suspicion you all do.

* Rosalie’s been making her hair look messy every so often to give the illusion that she’s having a bad hair day, Alice wears a retainer every so often, even Emmett pretends to need the bathroom more than he usually does.

* This morning you even had Rosalie do a fake pimple on your jaw.

* If Bella wasn’t going to be your best friends’ future wife, you think you might just hate her.

* You kind of sympathize with Rosalie in the book now.

* “Hey (Y/N) are you in?” Conner asks nudging his elbow against yours.

* “In for what?” You mumble, spearing another piece of pineapple. Another downside is now you have to eat at lunch. Otherwise Bella starts asking why you never eat and everyone gets really concerned and starts force feeding you

* God, all those years of establish you have low blood sugar and acid reflux induced nausea for nothing

* “La Push beach, we’re all going this weekend.” You perk up at the mention

* Finally, something’s getting back on track

* “Can’t, cheer stuff.” You mumble, shoving your food around your plate with your fork.

* You don’t miss Bella’s meaningful glance on your mostly full plate.

* Oh great, you can practically see the question “don’t you think it’s weird how they never eat anything?” Forming in the inner corners of her mind

* “What about you Edward?” Lauren flutters her eyelashes and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

* Lauren’s still annoyed that even though they’re hooking up, Tyler hasn’t made anything official yet

* Alice told her flirting with another guy might help.

* “He’s not going either.” You say before Edward can even open his mouth. He doesn’t say anything just gives you a questioning look and a smile.

* Looks like he’s finding everyone else’s thoughts more interesting

* “Are you guys going on a date?” Jessica waggles her eyebrows and on the other side of the table Bella sputters.

* You roll your eyes

* “No Jessica, but if I can’t go have fun neither can he.” Technically you both are forbidden to go on tribal land but whatever. “Best friend code.”

* Also you’re pretty sure Edward and Emmett are going to Yellowstone to eat bears or something, like a couple of heathens

* The thought of eating straight out of bear, no idea what they’ve eaten or where they’ve been doing their business, makes you shudder. 

* You did mention to them both that if they happen to find an orphaned bear cub somewhere to bring it back. You’ve been wanting to experiment with bear blood. 

* “Best friend code.” Edward repeats slowly, and the look he gives you makes your stomach flutter. And it’s not because you just ate half a salad.

* You’re knocked out of the look when Conner bumps his knee against yours

* “Well that’s a shame, I was looking forward to seeing you in a swimsuit.”

* So Conner’s been flirting a lot with you lately. Kind of weird, your best guess is that he was hoping to date Lauren, but now that she’s kinda seeing Tyler, you’re starting to look good.

* “Maybe you should have a pool party at that fancy house of yours then.” The group laughs but Conner just smirks

* “Whatever you want babe but-“ the bell cuts him off and you give him a consolatory pat on the arm.

* You move to throw away the leftover food on your plate, walking with Edward

* “We’re ditching right?” You ask him as you toss the plate into the trash.

* “Yeah Mr. Barnes is doing his blood type experiment today.” Like he even needs an excuse to skip school. “Do you want to go to the bookstore or something?”

* You shake your head, that won’t do, when Bella faints Edward needs to be there so they can fall in love

* “Wanna just hang out in my car? We can listen to that new Debussy CD I got.”

* Edward gives you a small smile, like he’s not really happy

* “Whatever you want.”

* Wait what’s up with that.

* “Hey, (Y/N)!” Bella calls out for you and Edward grimaces.

* “I’ll meet you at your car” wait he’s not going to stay here? If this was a dating video game he’d be the kind of player that wasted all the capture flags and then complains when they end up all alone.

* He leaves just as Bella gets to you. She spares a fleeting glance in Edward’s direction, almost looking sad as she watches him walk away before she looks to you

* “Are you heading over to biology?” She really is cute, like a puppy. She must have been hoping to get a little closer to Edward. 

* You almost feel bad for not warning her what with her issues on blood.

* “Nah I’ve got to finish my trig homework so I’m going to skip.” You fake a yawn.

* Oh, before you forget

* “I actually got you something.”

* You hand her a carefully wrapped gift bag, compliments of Rosalie of course

* “Vitamins?” Bella asks, her eyebrows threading together

* “Yeah, it’s like a vitamin powder, you just add it to water. We bought a big family pack so I thought I would share some with you.”

* Also because you’re 100% sure she’s anemic.

* Part of the reason you like the way she smells so much is because of her anemia, if it’s just the peach scent you can probably contain yourself. 

* You wave goodbye and Bella looks down at the package in her hands with a goofy expression. She hugs it to her chest before her expression pinches.

* “I should have offered to let them copy my notes” Bella murmurs to herself. Smacking her forehead and walking to biology.

* When you manage to sneak out to the parking lot through the gym doors, you see Edward leaning against your car, looking bored as he looks to the tree line

* “Why didn’t you sit inside? You look like a douchebag.”

* “I would have if someone had given me the keys”

* Like that’s stopped him before

* You unlock the car, letting it start with a hum before you pull out your trig homework

* You weren’t entirely lying to Bella, you really hadn’t finished you homework

* Edward pulls out a book from his bag, you’re not ashamed to say you’ve gotten him super into “The City of Ember” series

* “Hey why did you walk away when Bella came over?” you’re only half curious, mostly just trying to make conversation. “You don’t hate her do you?” You add with a laugh.

* The mere thought of Edward Cullen hating Bella Swan is laughable.

* “Yeah I do.” 

* You find yourself coughing from the sheer shock. 

* “You mean she frustrates you because you can’t read her mind.” Edward has spared you a concerned glance when you started coughing, but has turned his attention back to his book

*” No I mean I don’t like her, and I don’t like being around her.” He doesn’t look up from his book as he says it. 

* “But why?” Yeah she’s a little plain, and she’s still pretty shy even though you’ve been hanging out for a month and all those damn questions

* But she’s got good taste in books, and she’s pretty straightforward.

* She’s not the type of person to go behind your back, if you did something to upset her she’ll tell you straight to your face.

* Honestly she’s a lot like Angela, minus the hidden cunning nature.

* Edward eyes narrow and a heavy sigh escapes him. His head tilts back to rest against the passenger seat headrest.

* His neck is so long and white. The color of freshly fallen snow. You can’t help but think of how pretty it would look covered in hickeys.

* Like poppy’s blossoming in the snow. 

* Can vampires get hickeys? Would it just be like black instead of red since none of you really have blood anymore. 

* “I just don’t like-” He cuts himself off when his eyes meet yours, they seem to shine brighter for a moment, and you tilt your head. This feels like a meaningful look. 

* Edward sighs and looks away.

* “I just don’t like her vibe.” 

*”Vibe? Are you an Edward shaped imposter?” you see him mouth ‘Edward Shaped Imposter’ as you both laugh. 

* “Where did you learn to say these things?” He asks between laughs. You mock gasp.

* “The real Edward would never ask me that because he’s too afraid to know! Who are you really? What planet are you from?” Your hands move to his face, his face is as smooth as marble, lingering warmth. You leaned in without thinking about it, only a few inches away from him. 

* You’re so close you can smell him. He always smells good, like something ancient and profound. Rosemary and argon oil. 

* Your hands are still on his face and he’s grinning. 

* You gulp

* You’re trying to think of another ridiculous imposter joke you can make wen you catch a familiar head of blond hair through the window.

* “Is that Mike and ... Bella?”  

* This is a lot sooner than you thought, it hasn’t even been ten minutes yet.

* Edward looks almost bored as he follows your gaze. 

* “Yeah, looks like she made herself sick, she’s - what’s that word for when people are afraid of blood?” 

* “Hemophobia?”

* “Yeah, that’s what she has.”

* You wait for a second, releasing his face from your hands, but instead of moving to open the door he slumps back into his seat, eyes focused on his book. 

* “Don’t you think we should go help them?” He shrugs. 

* The f*cking criminal just shrugs. 

* WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?!?!

* Human or not, there’s no world Edward wouldn’t at least think about helping someone who’s in trouble. 

* You’re starting to think this really is an Edward imposter. 

* You watch Bella lean on Mike, stumbling down the crosswalk to the nurse’s office in the next building. 

* You can’t watch anymore 

* ‘You know you-” You words finally get Edward’s attention as he looks up from his book. “You are wasting all the capture flags!” You shout before sliding out of your car and jogging over to Mike and Bella

* “Mike! What happened?” He’s so surprised to see you his grip on Bella goes slack and she falls out of his side hold.

* “Oh crap!” 

* You rush to catch her, swinging her into a princess hold.

* What was Mike struggling with so much? She’s not very hea - oh right you’re a vampire.

* “Are you alright, I know she’s kinda heavy.” Well that’s not very nice to say about a girl, besides she’s pretty skinny. Can’t be more than 120 pounds. 

* “It’s no problem, I do it for cheer are all the time.” You do a fake grunt as you pretend to get a better hold on her. 

* The movement jostle her awake, her eyes fluttering open. She’s still in a dreamy state, her eyes are unfocused. 

* “(Y/N)?” 

* “Hey buddy, looks like ya fainted, squeamish around blood huh?”

* “How do you know we were doing the blood type experiment?” Mike asks.

* Oh crap. You were skipping, you weren’t supposed to know that. Even worse you brain can’t seem to come up with a valid excuse.

* “Alice told us about it, (Y/N) used to be squeamish around blood when we were kids, didn’t want to take any chances” You let out a sigh of relief when you see Edward walking towards you. At least he’s not completely heartless. 

*”Then why were you skipping?” Mike asks scratching his head. Edward shrugs

* “They can’t go to class, then I won’t go either.” And then the criminal looks you straight in the eye and says with the cheekiest smile imaginable:

*“It’s the best friend code”

* Oh f*ck off Edward. 

* You almost want to scoff when he takes Bella from your arms and into his.

* SO now he wants to care about the capture flag. 

* You let him take her though, You swear you see her stiffen and frown when he holds her.

* That can’t be right, she seemed super relaxed when you were carrying her.

* “I-I’m fine I can walk.”

* “No you can’t.” Edward bluntly says.

* Even when he gets to capture event, he says all the wrong things. You sigh as you walk behind him. Only to notice another set of footsteps by you. 

* “You can go back if you want Mike, Edward won’t kidnap her or anything.” He might throw her into the lake though.

* Mike shakes his head. “No it just seems wrong to not make sure she at least gets to the nurses office.” 

*You smile, he really is a kind boy. 

* “Also I’ll be damned if Bella gives Edward all the credit.” Well mostly kind.

* You get to the nurses office, who seems incredibly flustered with both you and Edward in such a small space.

* She seems so preoccupied keeping her wits about her as she checks out Bella and deals with your presence that she never asks why three people had to escort one person to the nurses office.

* “Well your blood pressure is a little low, since you fainted I would suggest you go home. If you want you can take a nap in here until school’s out.” Wow, where was a nurse this generous when you were in school.

* Bella, the beautiful moron, shakes her head.

* “No it’s okay I’ll go back to class, I don’t want to take a zero for the assignment” Well that’s noble and responsible and all. But what does she think is going to happen when she goes back to class?

* She’s going to see some blood again and faint. Not that you can be mad, you would probably have to go the the nurse too if Bella ever managed to prick her own finger

* “Bella you really shouldn’t,” You settle your hand on her shoulder pushing her back onto the chair. “You just fainted you should lie down, or go home or something.”

* Her eyebrows thread together, mouth pulled in protest. 

* “I don’t want to impose on any-”

* “It’s not an imposition, I want to!” Her mouth parts, then closes, stretching into a fine line. You look to Edward who’s avoiding your gaze and seems very irritated.

* Enemies to lovers trope it is.(Though you’re not sure if this counts as enemies if only one person dislikes the other)

* “I’m going to drop you off home, come on.” You pull Bella up by her hand, leading her to the parking lot. 

* “Wait what about my car?” 

* Oh you hadn’t thought about that. 

*Hmmm in the original book Alice drove her home. But Alice doesn’t really do anything unless there’s something in it for her, or if she wants to.

* Also you’re pretty sure when she ditched today when she found out that people were pricking there finger on campus. She claimed it was for Jasper, but you’re pretty sure there’s a sale in the Nordstrom in Seattle.

* Edward would rather get the flu than drive Bella’s ancient truck.

* Which leaves only one option.

* You toss your keys to Edward who catches them with one hand.

* “Edward will drive you home in my car, and I’ll drive your car behind him.” 

* “What about Rosalie?” He grumbles.

*“What about Rosalie?” Why is he being so difficult right now? Doesn’t he realize you’re doing this all for him!

* “You’re driving her home since Emmett and I are leaving for Yellow Stone as soon as school lets out.” Oh right the bears. Cr*p.

* “It’s not a big deal, I’ll drive back to school after we’re done and you can go your way and I’ll go mine.”

* You can tell Edward doesn’t like it, but he just sigh’s climbing into your car and then promptly getting out of the passenger side and sitting in the driver’s side.

* The dork forgot he had to drive the car.

* You’re dying laughing as Bella leads you to her car.

* “It’s the blue one.”

* Her truck isn’t all that bad. It’s old, but in a kind of retro way. It’s powder blue, with only two doors and no backseat. 

* You climb in, turning the engine and hearing it purr. Well it’s more of a roar, but it’s not terrible.

* You’re surprised when Bella climbs through the passenger side door. 

* “Um, you’re not going to drive with Edward?” She looks at you like you just asked her to recite the Fibonacci sequence. 

* “Why would I go with him when you’re the one driving my car?” Okay, that’s fair.

* You sigh, why does nothing ever go according to plan.

* Maybe it’s for the best, Edward doesn’t seem to be in the best mood. Not that this is good either, she’s sitting so close to you, her peachy scent fills the small space of the truck and you feel lightheaded.

* It’s less than a ten minute trip, no need to get dramatic. You’re pretty sure you won’t kill her just because she smells nice.

* “Soooooo... what do you want to talk about?” You ask as you turn out of the school, this car is super slow compared to yours, you’re pretty sure it won’t go over 50 mph.

* Bella fidgets beside you, playing with the ends of her hair. 

* “So are you and Edward...dating?”

* You laugh so loud you actually start coughing. And then you laugh again. 

* “No-pfff- no We’re uh- we’re not dating.” You finally manage. 

* “Why is that so funny to you?” She asks, genuinely confused.

* “Well it’s just outrageous you know?” How would that even work? You can’t even picture it. Edward getting all hot and bothered because you’re wearing an oversized sweater and glasses. You flirting with him all over the house in front of Carlisle and Esme. Edward signing up for a sport just so he can see you in his letterman.

* It’s all...impossible.

* And yet, there is one thing you can picture. 

* Edward by your side, he’s almost golden brown, his eyes bright green. He points to the living room, and in there are Alec and Jane, both of their eyes blue as they argue over who’s turn it is to watch TV. 

* Maybe if you were human, if you had met in a different world or a different time, that would be something you could have. 

* But it is what it is

* “Edward and I have been friends for a really long time, we’ve just seen too much of each other to find each other attractive like that.” 

* Bella looks like she doesn’t believe you but she doesn’t say anything.

* Wait what are you doing? This is the perfect chance to talk Edward up!

* “But you know Edward is a real stand up guy!” It leaves a little too forcefully, a little inauthentic.

* “Oh is he?” She doesn’t sound too excited to be talking about this.

* “I know he’s got one of those face-”

* “Obnoxiously handsome?” She spats 

* “Like he thinks existence is a curse, and the world is evil and everything is terrible -” Wait you’re getting off track. “B-but he really is a good guy!”

* You bite your lip, as Bella tells you to turn into a subdivision. 

* “You know after- after I was adopted,” After your parents died. “I was really lonely, I had a family that loved me and anything I asked for but I didn’t really have anyone to talk to” Oh god, why did you choose this story to pick? “Edward was probably the only friend my age I had for years.”

* She straightens up a little bit, a curious glint in her eyes.

* “Really?” You nod.

* “Yeah he would come by every Monday and Wednesday,” You still remember the crunch of the snow under your feet as you both walked to the barn. He always asked why you didn’t just run, and you always told him because you liked the way you could see your breath hang in the air,

* “He could have been out that time, hanging out with other people,” More well adjusted vampires, who hunted instead of harvesting small amounts from animals they raised. “or chasing girls and playing sports, but he stayed with me.”

* “He always made me feel safe, and I’m sure whoever is lucky enough to end up with him will feel that way too.” 

* “I think you’re giving him too much credit” Bella finally says, you smile at her

* “what do you mean?” 

* “Well, who wouldn’t drop everything to hang out with you?” You can’t tell if she’s being genuine or if she’s bitter. Your eyes meet hers and there’s a twinkle in them. ”My house is the one on the left, the one with the magnolia tree.”

* You come to a stop in front of the house she mentioned, shifting it into park, and handing her the keys. 

* You don’t say anything as you climb out of her car. You see Edward stopped a few dozen feet behind her truck, your jeep still on. 

* “Thanks for driving me home” She smiles at you, a real smile that reaches her eyes. It’s nice.

* “No problem, it gave me an excuse to ditch school too haha.” You both stand in awkward silence. Neither of you moving. 

* Well damn what are you supposed to do now?

* “Oh, hey do you want me to bring you your homework or anything?” 

* She perks up at that, reaching into her pocket

*  “If you don’t mind, could you text me what page he homework is on for trig today?” 

* “ Oh for sure! No problem at all” You take her cell phone in your hand. It’s a white sidekick, with a picture of a cactus on the back. She must have gotten it when she moved.

* You can’t help but wonder if she has any friends she misses. She spent her entire life in one community, sure Phoenix is a pretty big place, but she must have had friends, people she sat with at lunch everyday, girls she had known since childhood, sleepovers where they whispered about boys they had crushes on.

* As you hand her phone back, your contact information saved in it, you can’t help but wonder who this person in front of you is. You know her, but at the same time, you know absolutely nothing about her. 

* “See you Monday!” You wave goodbye as you get into the passenger side of your car, and Bella waits on the porch until you and Edward leave.

* Edward’s got that look on his face.

* “Edward why are you mad?” 

* “I’m not mad.” He grumbles and you raise an eyebrow. He sighs.

* “You’re going out of your way an awful lot for that human.” He says as he turns back onto the highway.

* “It’s just the right thing to do Eddie.” 

* He shakes his head, his mouth pinched into a frown

* “Just be careful, I don’t know what that one’s thinking, she could be planning to burn our entire coven for all I know.”

* You roll your eyes, yeah you bet Bella who weights exactly 115 pounds, and has anemia is single handedly planning to bring down the entire vampire race. 

* “How about we make a deal, I’ll promise not to rock the boat while you and Emmett are gone-”

* “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret not covering my ears?”

*” If you promise to bring me back a bear cub - an orphaned one.” He gives you a look you don’t quite care for.

* “You want me to kill a mother bear so you can have a bear cub?” 

* “No of course not! I’m just saying- Emmett doesn’t really look before he kills  so if he kills a mother bear, just make sure you bring me the cubs.” 

* “Why do you even want a bear? How are you planning to take care of it with all those deer around, they need a lot-”

* “Yes Dad I know it’s a big responsibility, don’t worry I won’t make you take it on walks or anything.” 

* Edward gulps hard, one hand detaching from the steering wheel to cover his mouth. 

* Wouldn’t it be positively sinful for you to be underneath him, whining ‘daddy, please’ in that breathy voice of yours and-

* Edward.exe is broken. 

* “Dude you really need to get your shit together before you go on your trip, we’ve been parked for fifteen minutes and your foot is still on the brake.” You say as you get out of the car

* He hits his head against the steering wheel.

* “Yeah, I really do need to get my shit together.” 

Tags:  @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @ xxxmuxxx  @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​ @hotmessgoodness​

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[massivedrickhead]

Bechloe Week 2021 - Day 4

July 29th: Near death experience

Read on AO3

“Beca, I’m not done talking about this,” Chloe huffed, following Beca out of their bedroom and down the stairs. One hand was held against her heavily pregnant stomach, while the other was gripping the bannister as she struggled to keep pace with her much quicker wife.

“I’m gonna be late for work, Chlo’,” was Beca’s response as she grabbed her jacket from the hook in the hall.

“It’s Saturday,” Chloe said, finally making it down in one piece. “You’re not supposed to work on Saturdays anymore. You promised.”

“I know,” Beca said as she began searching for her keys. “But the studio needs me to come in,” she lowered her voice a fraction, “and we need the money.”

Chloe sighed. “I need you here more than we need the money,” she said. “We have savings, and I’ll be going back to work once my maternity leave is up. And if things get really desperate, we could always ask-.”

“No,” Beca said, cutting her off.

“Beca.”

“We are not asking your parents for money. They already have a low enough opinion of me, we aren’t going to make it worse by letting them know I can’t even provide for my family,” Beca said, dropping her bag on an armchair when she realised her keys weren’t in there. “And our savings are for our kids’ futures, not for right now.”

She walked through the living room, where her six-year-old daughter was watching cartoons, and into the kitchen.

“Blake, have you seen mommy’s keys?” Beca asked as she walked.

“No.”

Chloe followed Beca into the kitchen.

“So I have to suffer because you want to save face in front of my parents?” She said, trying to keep her voice low so Blake wouldn’t hear.

“Oh, I didn’t realise you were suffering,” Beca replied. Chloe spotted Beca’s keys on the bench and picked them up. “Can I have my keys please?”

“Beca I can’t keep doing this on my own. I need your help,” Chloe said, her hand resting on her stomach again.

“This is me helping,” Beca said. “Going to work and putting money in our account is how I help.”

Chloe had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from snapping.

She didn’t know how many more times she needed to tell Beca that providing for the family wasn’t all on her shoulders.

“Beca. Please. I know you think it’s all on you because the latest single didn’t sell as well as you’d hoped-”

“- it bombed, but thanks for bringing it up-”

“-but we’re a team,” Chloe said, as if there’d been no interruption. “That means we share the load. And it also means you can’t run off to work every Saturday and leave your very pregnant wife looking after a six-year-old.”

Beca sighed as guilt prickled the back of her neck. “I’m gonna be late,” she said, holding out her hands for her keys.

Chloe dropped the keys into her hand before pushing past her in order to start making breakfast.

“I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

“Fine,” Chloe said, keeping her back to her as dropped bread into the toaster. “Don’t wake me if you’re home too late.”

“Okay,” Beca said, before she turned and left.

Chloe swallowed the lump in her throat as she heard Beca say goodbye to their daughter before she left the house.

Beca was running very late by the time she made it out to her car.

Guilt, worry, and frustration were all fighting each other inside to see which could make her feel worse.

Couldn’t Chloe see that she didn’t want to have to go into the studio on a Saturday?

She would much rather spend her weekend with her wife and daughter than deal with the aftermath of the dud she’d just released.

A chunk of the money she’d made from the first album was in a trust fund for their kids, enough to cover college (if they wanted to go) or to help set them up in their first home.

Some of it was in a bank account for a break-in-case-of-emergency situation.

But the rest… it had surprised Beca how quick it had gone down.

There was the wedding, the honeymoon, buying them this house, paying off the remainder of Chloe’s college debt, paying off her Mom’s debt, and then the cost of living in L.A… it all added up.

It didn’t help that after she’d given birth to Blake she took some time out of the spotlight and the income of money began to slow down.

After a gap of almost two years, Beca had been ready to start making music again but her first single off her new album just… fell flat.

Theo warned her she’d have to do a lot of work on the album to recover from that, and that meant a lot of late nights and weekends.

“Chloe, just a few more weeks and the album will be out and then things can go back to normal again.”

“No, Beca. A few more weeks and then you start promoting. A few weeks and you start touring. A few weeks and our baby will be born!”

A car cut her off as they were approaching the highway, and Beca had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting it.

“Asshole!” She said, laying on the horn.

She saw the sticker in the back window, and had to laugh.

‘You’re right where you’re meant to be.’

Beca wondered if it was meant to be inspirational, or if it was meant to be a joke.

“Yeah, right where I’m meant to be,” she muttered. “Which is right behind you.”

They reached the traffic lights and the car ahead drove off while Beca was stuck at a red light.

Great.

If she’d left even one minute earlier-

She didn’t have time to finish her thought as a truck came barrelling out of nowhere and t-boned the car that had cut her off.

“Oh my god!”

Beca got out of the car and dialled 911 as she surveyed the carnage in front of her.

She could hear screaming and yelling as other people got out of their cars to look.

She could smell smoke and burnt rubber, and heard the long unbroken sound of a horn.

Some people ran forward to help, others were calling for help.

Others took videos. Holding their phones up to record the chaos.

Will they watch the footage later? Beca wondered. Or just sell it to a news station.

Beca requested an ambulance and had just told them the location as the car that had been hit burst into a fireball.

She could feel the heat from where she was standing.

That would have been me, she thought, her blood running cold with horror. A second earlier and it would have been me.

In her mind, she saw that sticker again.

You’re right where you’re meant to be.

She threw up. Last night’s dinner splattered the road.

Ambulances, fire trucks, police, they all showed up in the next ten minutes as Beca watched the nightmarish scene in front of her. She couldn’t take her eyes off it.

She would learn on the news that night that there were no survivors.

An officer came to ask her if she saw anything, and she told him what happened.

“Sounds like you got lucky,” he said, writing it down. He took her details in case they needed any more information, and told her to drive carefully on her way home because “you look a little pale ma’am.”

Beca got in her car, turned around, and drove straight home.

She didn’t even register the journey, and was parked in her drive and walking through the front door before she even realised she’d made it home.

“Bec? Is that you?”

Chloe was in the living room with Blake when Beca walked in, looking very pale with unshed tears in her eyes.

“Baby? Are you okay?”

Chloe stood up with difficulty and made her way over to Beca.

“Beca?”

Beca didn’t answer, she just wrapped her arms around Chloe as tightly as she could, and started crying.

She buried her face in Chloe’s neck and breathed her in as she tried to control her tears.

“Okay,” Chloe said, softly. “You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry,” Beca choked out. “Please, never stop arguing with me.”

“What?”

“Never stop giving me a hard time about working too much. Please don’t give up on me, Chlo’.”

“Bec, honey, take a breath and tell me what happened,” Chloe said, ending their hug and resting her hands on Beca’s shoulders. Beca still looked scarily pale. “Sit down.”

She led Beca to the sofa and sat down beside her.

Blake, who had been watching with apprehension ran off to the bathroom before returning with what looked like half a roll of toilet paper.

“Here you go mommy,” she said, handing it to Beca.

Beca laughed and used it to wipe her eyes. “Thank you baby,” she said. She lifted Blake into her lap and kissed her cheek and hugged her so hard that Blake started to giggle.

“Mommy you’re gonna squish me!”

“Sorry,” Beca said, relaxing her grip, allowing Blake to slide off her lap and return to her toys.

“What happened?” Chloe prompted.

Beca sniffed and wiped her eyes again. “There was an accident,” she said. “It was bad, and… and I would have been in it. If I’d left here a minute earlier I would have been in it. I… I almost…” She swallowed, not wanting to voice it in front of Blake.

Chloe didn’t need her to say it, she understood.

“Oh my god,” she said, her voice catching. She swallowed hard and blinked back tears. “Okay,” she said, pulling Beca into a hug. “You’re okay.”

“I love you, Chloe. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Chloe said, squeezing her as hard as she could.

Their hug ended when Beca’s phone began ringing.

“It’s Theo,” she said, pulling the phone out of her pocket. She wiped her eyes. “Do I sound normal?”

“No, not even a little bit,” Chloe said. “Let me speak to him?”

Beca nodded and handed over the phone. She knew Theo was a little bit scared of Chloe, so would be much less likely to insist Beca come into work if she spoke to him.

“Hey Theo, it’s Chloe,” Chloe said. “Yeah, she won’t be making it in today.“

She took her free hand and started running it through Beca’s hair in a soothing motion, and she could almost feel the tension leaving Beca’s body. Sometimes she liked to tease Beca on how much she acted like a cat, but she wouldn’t do that today. Today she just needed to calm her down and make her feel safe and loved.

“No, she was almost in a car accident,” Chloe said, adjusting her position as best as she could so Beca could lean into her. Beca’s had came to rest on Chloe’s stomach, and she pressed a soft kiss against it. Their baby responded with a few kicks.

“Yeah, that’s the one. No, she's fine, but I don’t think she’s in any state to drive or work, I think she’s probably in shock. Okay. I’ll let her know. Thanks.” Beca looked up as Chloe ended the call. “He said not to worry about it. He heard about the accident which is why he called. He knows you take that road to work.”

“Thank you for doing that,” Beca said.

“Of course. We’re a team, remember?”

“I won’t ever forget it.”

Blake joined her mothers on the sofa, and cuddled into Beca’s other side.

Beca closed her eyes, surrounded by her family, and let out a slow breath.

She was right where she was meant to be.