#this is such a cuteness overload i simply cannot

[mistress-light]

Final Fantasy XVI - PC • Petting the pupper

[neeeooon]

Hiii!! Hope you're doing well! I wanted to make a BLLK HC request!

Can you do one where the characters suddenly get a lot of cuteness aggression for their s/o and then proceed to smother them with affection? SORRY THIS IS SO CRINGY BUT AT LEAST IM FREE 😔

For the characters, can you do Sae, Rin, Reo, Isagi and whatever other ones you like?

AGAIN SORRY FOR THE CRINGY REQUEST

NO DW ITS NOT CRINGY thank you for the request!! 🫶

when you’re affectionate toward them ;

bf bllk x cuteness overload reader

itoshi sae

-> sae has been doted on his entire life. becoming a famous soccer player didn’t chance that, the praise just heightened, especially from fans

-> your affection was different, because you didn’t use meaningless words to compliment your boyfriend on his talent or skill. you simply thought he was the most adorable thing on the planet

-> “i’m gonna get an indent in my cheek from how much you poke it.” “I WOULDNT POKE IT SO MUCH IF YOU WERENT SUCH A GRUMP.” “but when i smile you cry—“ “CAUSE YOURE SO CUTE OH MY GOD???”

itoshi rin

-> having someone as aggressive with their affection as you was a bit shocking, especially since rin isn’t the type to show much love

-> you sat across the couch, staring at him, when you felt a swell in your chest. a need to jump on him. who were you to ignore your impulse?

-> “y/n, why are you looking at me li—OOF.” “GOD YOURE SO ADORABLE I COULD THROW UP.” “i’m just sitting here..” “WELL STOP. ITS TOO CUTE.” “okay..”

mikage reo

-> you out-affection him and he doesn’t know how to feel about it

-> the first time he smothered you in kisses was like opening pandora’s box. now that you knew it was safe to be your weird, affection-crazy self around your boyfriend, there was no going back

-> you’re walking together when you slip your hand into his back pocket. “y/n, what if someone sees?” “sees what? i’m just walking with my boyfriend!” “your hand is in my pants.” “your back pocket!! that doesn’t count, couples do it all the time!” “i feel your hand on my skin!” “then you have a hole somewhere. not my fault!” “you’re so weird.” “you love it~”

isagi yoichi

-> it’s the hair, you conclude as you cradle isagi’s head to your chest. “y/n.. can’t… breathe..!” “IM SORRY I CANT HELP IT. YOURE TOO CUTE.” “goodbye.. world..”

-> no but you cannot keep your hands to yourself, and isagi doesn’t care. he’s gotten used to your mindless affection, your need to be close to him, and has adapted to involve you in his daily life

-> “y/n, are you okay?” “hm? why, what’s up?” “you’re not invading my personal space nearly as much as usual..” “AWW YOICHI ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ME??” “i mean—“ “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY CUTIEKINS! KISS ME.”

michael kaiser

-> it took him a looooong time to get comfortable enough around you to accept your affection, but you didn’t mind waiting

-> the only time you allowed yourself to smother him with affection was after he initiated it first. a simple hand on the knee meant he wanted your touch, a squeeze meant he wanted cuddles

-> you were sitting together when you felt his hand tentatively brush your leg. you waited for him to do it again, and when he gave your ankle a little squeeze, you flung yourself into him, smothering his face with enough kisses to make him laugh. “you’re gonna kill me one day by kissing me to death!” “then you’ll certainly die a happy man <3”

[alottiegoingon]

glinda has a crush.

glinda upland x fem!reader

summary: glinda upland is smitten, and she’s making sure the whole world (especially you) knows it, whether you catch on or not. warnings: fluff overload, afab reader, lesbian glinda, glinda being dramatic, harmless meddling, lots of pink, not proofread, nsfw at the very end, MDNI.

glinda is not subtle. when glinda has a crush, the whole of oz could probably figure it out before you do. she’s extra giggly around you, tossing her hair and flashing her most radiant smile whenever you’re in sight.

she has been fighting people that call her "glinda" for her whole life. "it's gah-linda. with a gah". but you could call her belinda and she'd be like "okay, guess that's my name now hehe :D".

lots of "toss toss". when you're around, she performs this move even more flamboyantly, ensuring you notice her. she even practice it in front of a mirror to perfect it all in hopes of impressing you.

her love language is... extravagant. expect surprise deliveries of glittery pink bouquets, handwritten notes sealed with her signature wax stamp, new clothes, and occasionally, enchanted trinkets she insists you “simply must have.”

“oh, wow, that outfit is so scandalocious! no one wears pink like you do!” glinda’s endless flattery toes the line between sweet and over-the-top.

despite her bubbly demeanor, glinda gets a little possessive... she might interrupt your conversations with others by swooping in, linking arms with you, and whisking you away under the guise of “urgent matters.”

elphaba is so done. she immediately catches on to glinda’s feelings and rolls her eyes at every lovestruck sigh or poorly veiled attempt to get your attention. “just tell her already,” she mutters, but glinda insists she’s being subtle.

not even fiyero can get away. he becomes glinda’s reluctant confidant. she quizzes him endlessly. “do you think she noticed my new hairpin? was it obvious when i accidentally brushed her hand?”

glinda occasionally ropes her more impressionable classmates into “spontaneous” group activities that just happen to involve you. picnic by the emerald city fountain? surprise study group? all glinda’s doing.

when you don’t pick up on her hints, glinda cranks up the theatrics. she might “accidentally” trip so you can catch her, dramatically swoon when you compliment her, or claim she needs your advice about “a dear friend who’s in love with someone amazing…”

subtlety? what subtlety? if all else fails, she starts making outrageous claims, like how the stars in the night sky don’t shine as brightly as your eyes. by this point, even munchkins are side-eyeing her obviousness.

very possessive. very jealous. careful, she bites. if she sees you talking to someone she doesn’t quite trust, glinda will immediately try to steal your attention. whether it’s showing up next to you with a loud “oh, darling, there you are!” or tugging you away by the waist with a soft, dramatic "i need you for just a second...", her jealousy is obvious, but she tries to play it off with a sweet, innocent demeanor. It's almost too cute to notice, but not quite.

when she finally confesses, you can expect a dramatic monologue.

glinda’s confession is a whirlwind of dramatic proclamations and heartfelt vulnerability. “dearest, i simply cannot go another day without telling you… you are the brightest star in my sky, the melody in my heart, and the only person who can make me feel like this!”

when you admit you feel the same, glinda’s jaw actually drops even if she had spent weeks trying to make you notice her. she recovers quickly, though, already planning millions of dates.

expect her to immediately start gushing to everyone who’ll listen. “attention, everyone! she said yes! isn’t she just perfect?” meanwhile, you’re trying to hide your face from the attention.

in a relationship, when you catch her being a little too clingy or dramatic after seeing someone else talk to you, glinda will act innocent, flashing you her most dazzling smile while saying, "me? jealous? oh, princess, no. i’m simply making sure you know you’re mine.” she’ll lean in for a kiss as if nothing's wrong, but you can tell she's putting on an act.

if she feels like she’s losing your attention for too long, she might retreat into a little meltdown, just to get you to reassure her. she’ll dramatically sigh and pout, plopping herself next to you on the couch or across the room. “ugh, why do they even talk to you like that? you’re too good for them!” her jealousy is always a bit over the top, but the underlying sentiment is clear: she wants all your love, and she wants it now.

expect your individuality to be gone when you become her girlfriend. you could be in a party and someone offered you pizza and glinda would wrap her arm around your waist, pull you close and say "oh, we would love it, don't we, my dear?"

personal space? there's no such a thing when glinda is your girlfriend, please! physical touch is a must. kissing, hugging, biting your cheeks or ears affectionately (or more), holding hands anywhere and any time, rubbing your back or your knee when sitting next to each other, you name it.

NSFW (MDNI)!!!

a very soft top!!!

glinda throws herself into everything with gusto, and intimacy is no exception. she treats every moment as though it’s a grand performance, designed to leave you utterly breathless.

glinda loves to talk during intimate moments. she’s shamelessly loud, peppering the air with compliments, exclamations of delight, and plenty of your name. it’s never quiet with her, not that you’d want it to be.

she talks you through it and she isn't shy about it. she likes giving orders and watching you fall apart when following religiously every word she says.

she’ll tease you mercilessly, grinning as she whispers things like, “oh, darling, you’ll have to beg if you want more. i couldn't quite hear you.”

while glinda radiates self-assurance, there’s also an adorable side of her that craves reassurance and exploration. “do you like it when i do this?” she’ll ask, watching your every reaction like her life depends on it.

if you wear glasses, she would love to keep it during sex. "let's put that back in," she says, while gracefully on top of you.

during your first time, she'd be so gentle and attentive to how you'd react to every touch of hers. you feel like passing out when she runs her fingers through your soaked folds so patiently just to see your face contorting in pleasure.

"oh, there it is," she says softly, with that adorable smile feigning innocence, when you trembled at the pad of her thumb touching your clit.

sometimes, when you are in your shared dorm after class, tired and sitting on your bed, you decide to read a book. it takes glinda nothing more than 5 seconds to get bored and impatient and climb onto the bed, crawling to you to spread your legs open and sit in between them. you'd complain and say you were reading and she'd go like "of course. keep doing that, darling, i'm not stopping you," before having her face buried in your pretty pussy.

glinda loves trailing her lips along your neck, often leaving faint marks she calls “little declarations of my adoration.” the hollow of your collarbone is her second favorite spot, especially if you’re wearing something that exposes it. you can't blame her, she likes showing you off!

she finds kissing your thighs endlessly fascinating, claiming it’s the “perfect way to worship you.” expect slow, lingering kisses here, especially when she’s feeling extra romantic (or very horny).

there’s something incredibly intimate about the way she kisses your fingertips and palms, sometimes intertwining your fingers with hers as she gazes at you like you’re the only person in existence.

tell her how beautiful she is, how good she’s making you feel, or how much you want her, and she’ll melt into a puddle of happiness. her confidence skyrockets when you’re vocal about your admiration.

glinda adores the little things. running her hands over every curve of your body, memorizing your favorite spots, and taking her time to make sure you feel completely adored.

post-intimacy, glinda becomes the clingiest cuddle bug ever. she insists on holding you close, peppering you with soft kisses, and telling you (loudly) just how much she adores you. if you let go of her to go get some water, she'll get very upset. do you even love her? do you hate her now? how dare you to abandon her for... 10 seconds?

[fallingrealms16]

CAITVI FIC REC LIST PART 3 (???) <3333

I love them *sighs*

OKAY !! Part 3??? So I said in my previous normal post that this was coming soon and that it was going to be short fics. Apparently I lied. Forgot I had this draft *cackles*

Reminder‼️ pretty please read all the tags on each fic before reading as I am not responsible for any emotional trauma you may experience ^3^ (more notes at the bottom ty, ily <3)

⤵️⤵️⤵️

Face The Noise by hesychia

54.7K Words // 19 Chapters //COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT// //this is part 1 of a trilogy//

Jayce, Viktor, and Caitlyn get invited to a house show. When a new band, the Firelights, takes the stage, Caitlyn finds herself drawn to the mysterious, pink-haired lead guitarist.

Part 2: Teen Idle (jinx one shot)

Part 3: Beat the Daylight (Caitlyn x Vi)

Ignore the author note in chapter one, they end up adding more spice to more chapters hahaha

Parabolic by Enchantable

69K Words // 22 Chapters // COMPLETED

//TEEN AND UP//

Missing scenes across Acts II and III and the aftermath.

Each chapter is a missing scene

Fixing for a Family by Bari_514

136.8K Words // 24 Chapters // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

While creating homes for other families, Caitlyn and Vi learn that building a family isn't always an easy endeavor. They’ll discover that some things simply cannot be fixed, but can be endured; together.

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

Knockout Chemistry by iheart_wheein

149K Words // ?/? Chapters // NOT COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT// being updated frequently

When Caitlyn Kiramman, a perfectionist law student from Piltover’s elite, and Violet "Vi" Lanes, a rebellious boxing star on scholarship, end up as dorm mates, their worlds collide in all the worst ways.

But when Caitlyn’s unwanted admirers start interfering with her studies, and Vi’s slipping grades threaten her spot on the team, they strike an unconventional deal: fake date each other to solve both problems.

The plan is simple—no drama, no feelings, no complications. But with their complementing personalities and undeniable chemistry, keeping things strictly business might just be their biggest challenge yet.

Cheeky bonus o/s fic recs🤪

Craving for you by YourSinfulScribe

4K Words // 1 Chapter // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

After severing ties with her younger sister Powder, Vi finds herself lost, with only her fists to keep her moving forward. She spends her days brawling in grimy underground pit fights, letting the pain and adrenaline numb the emptiness inside. But something feels wrong, she can sense someone watching her, a constant, unnerving presence lurking in the shadows.

When Vi finally confronts her mysterious stalker, she’s startled to find herself face-to-face with a stunning woman who is more than she appears. With a sly smile and a dangerous glint in her eye, this stranger lures Vi into a thrilling game from which escape might be harder than Vi ever anticipated.

Sorry about the small text^ it was realllllly long in larger font :( can make it normal if you guys prefer xx

Helping Hand by lettucehater007 @lettucehater007

4.7K Words // 1 Chapter // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Basically just Vi and Caitlyn being soft and taking care of each other on their periods. Because that's what good girlfriends do.

I needed this fic for my soul honestly.

This is what you asked for by Sexterp

4.8K Words // 1 Chapter // COMPLETED

//COMPLETED//

After their fallout, Vi and Cait were apart for months. Vi spent her time fighting in a pit and drinking. But what if Vi's vision of Caitlyn wasn't just a vision? What if they slept with each other too drunk and devastated to see through the greasy paint or a fuckass blonde wig?

Ngl this one’s a bit out there…

Posting the next one soon sooooon! Will be a drop with ones shots tehe (maybe a long one or two. Maybe)

[lollytea]

in regards to that text post you tagged as hunlow followed by "listen to me". i have a chair. i am sitting down. i'm listening if you want to explain.

Waaah I am all jumbled up so this is not gonna be very eloquent but lemme do a little word vomit here.

Anyway. The poem 'Yes & No' by Natalie Wee and the complete huntlow overload it gives me every time I read it.

It works from both their perspectives on how they view the other person. Those parallels do be paralleling. I might blabber about it from Hunter's POV....another day. But because the poem is written by a woman and refers to a 'Him' lets focus on Willow's side of things. It's the side that gives me the most brainrot anyway. I really do love a good subversion. A girl who thinks she is too monstrous for a boy whom she views as too gentle.

I think very often about Willow's relationship with her own powers. The show went somewhat into depth about how being 'Half a Witch' destroyed her confidence. The part of her that could not excel at anything that wasn't plant-centric. There's nothing particularly complex about her feelings of inferiority. It's very easy to understand. She's Mildred Hubble coded.

HOWEVER it's also shown in her debut episode that Willow losing control of her emotions can lead to big destructive outbursts. This is the part that was touched on as a conflict in For the Future, but was never really explored at length.

This ability of hers is extremely dangerous. She can severely hurt both herself and the people around her. Surely, that must be a frightening reality for a little girl to live with.

I wonder when these outbursts first started. I wonder if that incident in the detention pit was the first time her own magic nearly killed her. I wonder if something happened on the day of Amity's birthday party when little Willow felt like she had lost everything. I wonder a lot of things. But mostly I wonder how being like this since she was young has effected Willow's mindset, her behaviour and her complexes. What does she think of herself? Is she afraid of what she's capable of? Is she afraid of her own emotions?

Anyway, with that in mind. Here is the poem. Beat by beat.

reasons to not kiss him:

1. you weren’t raised to love tender.

Willow was born and raised to be a sweet gentle girl with a soft spot for plants. She's silly and lighthearted yet mature for her age and tries to remain rational in irrational situations. She allows hugs from Gus and she allows Luz's touchy affection and cooing over how cute she is.

But by "love tender", I interpret it as Willow not knowing how to love and be loved in a way that puts her in a vulnerable position. The bleeding open wound kind of love. She's already been thrown away once in her life like she's something disposable so she has decided that it will inevitably happen again. Willow has already braced herself for Luz and Gus finding other friends and leaving her behind. She's loved them so sweetly this whole time but she's always been keeping them at arm's length, scared to pour too much of her heart into their hands. She's simply savouring the time she has with them until they drift away.

But Hunter is a different story. There is something about him that demands she love tender. And it's terrifying that she feels the pressure to do so. And it's even more terrifying that she so badly wants to.

2. when he’s around all you do is tremble. when he’s around you want to get on your knees. look how much power he has over you. it’s dangerous.

Willow is a girl who has been carelessly discarded like her feelings meant nothing, made to feel like she was a waste of an existence and who is also deathly afraid of herself and the unstable magical battery pulsing inside of her. This results in having to lock up her more reckless emotions in order to keep everyone safe, but also to protect her own heart. She's gotten good at it. And she's also now perceived as an iron clad witch who cannot be weakened.

But the presence of Hunter reveals something very concerning. She can be weakened. His smile and his voice and his entire disposition is a breach of the barriers she has spent years building. He is capable of puncturing her clean through. And the part that makes her lips tighetn is that he's not even aware of it.

It doesn't sound so foreboding on the surface. So what if he can make her smile until she can't stop smiling? So what if he can make her laugh until she's breathless? But then she'd have to regain herself and realize that as harmless as that is, it's a result of her losing control of her emotions. Which she rarely does anymore. And it's all because of him with his soft eyes and his kind smile and his shy adoration for her.

And if he can do that, he can do far worse to her. That's the scary part.

3. he’s too good at forgiving and you’re too good at violence.

4. you know what they say about monsters. you know what happens to the boys who love them. are you going to do that to him?

5. your hands don’t know how to be gentle. think about the last beautiful thing that shattered in your palms. the fresh rosebuds crumbling between your fingers like a bruise. you wolf-boy, you war machine. you wouldn’t know how to hold something magic and not destroy it.

Willow is not stupid. She's not unobservant. Hunter did not need to stay a word for her to realize that he is a boy who has been wronged by someone who he loved with his whole aching heart. He has been hurt in a way that will leave his heart aching forever and ever.

But it's a sharp sting to know that in spite of that, he continues to fall deeply in love with every person who shows him compassion. Nothing can burn out his warm glow. He loves and he loves until he's sick with the stuff. And Willow doesn't know how he does it, but his glow is so nice to graze in. Once you get too close to him, you don't want to leave.

When Willow hugs him, his fingers tentatively twist into the sleeves of her cardigan. She sees how he looks at her and she knows he'd like nothing more than to squeeze her tight and drown in her.

He's in love with Willow the way he's in love with everything and she desperately wants to give him everything.

She wants to place her hands on his cheeks and watch as she melts into her palms, finally satiated after all he had been starving for.

She wants to fall in love with him.

But she can't. Because she knows he'd fall in love with her too.

And then eventually, she would hurt him. Like he had been hurt before.

She can't trust herself to not hurt him.

And in the aftermath of the hurt, she would cry herself hoarse with ragged apologies.

And because she was kind and because he knows she didn't mean to hurt him, he would squeeze her tight and say "It's okay."

Then she'd hurt him again.

"It's okay."

And again.

"It's okay."

A painful cycle that spins until there's barely of him left.

And Willow is scared that by that point that she'll be too weak for his soft eyes to ever let him go.

She doesn't know what will become of her.

She doesn't want to find out.

So to stay on the safe side, they will never begin.

6. if you hurt him it might kill you

7. if you hurt him you might kill yourself.

8. you are very bad at rehabilitation. this is one addiction you’d fail to give up. he’s going to ruin you for all other kisses and all other boys and you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to forget his name.

Willow has analyzed the situation and she's come to the conclusion that if she allowed this sweet boy entry to her briar n' bramble guarded heart, they'd bend to his will, clearing a path to the delicate structure. And once he holds it in his hands, he'll leave his fingerprints all over it.

This is the damage she's talking about.

The damage he can do to her.

9. you still aren’t sure he isn’t a dream.

10. if you kiss him, you might wake up.

You would think, with all this lamenting Willow does over Hunter's existence, that he's making her miserable.

Far from it.

She's reluctant to admit it, even to herself, but she's already addicted to whatever it is that he's emanating. Like a flower stretching towards the sunlight.

Sometimes he doesn't feel feel.

Typical of an overthinker to not believe that could be as wonderful as it seems.

In an ideal world, they could both make each other happy.

If she doesn't ruin everything.

Mistletoe kisses. Parasitic in nature.

What if she leeches all the light left in him?

What if a kiss is her wakeup call?

reasons to kiss him:

1. because he’s beautiful.

He's so beautiful.

2. because he asked.

He's begging. He's begging every time he looks at her. He certainly doesn't mean to. Nor does he know that he's doing it. But somehow, without saying a word, he has crumbled to his knees begging for her to pour of a little of her heart into his lips to warm his blood.

He wants her to love tender and be loved raw. And he wants to do the same.

And if she said no, he would simply reply "that's okay."

But she doesn't want to say no.

She wants to give him everything.

That's the problem.

And even worse....she is pretty sure she is about to crack.

She will give him everything.

Because...

3. because he preceded please with, i’m not afraid of you.

[niobiumao3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much to @eclec-tech for the tag! Quite the trip down memory lane.

How many works do you have on AO3?

86

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

529k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars, Star Trek, MCU, various others here and there

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

All MCUs with one LotR piece--not super surprising, though, the MCU is such a MONSTER huge fandom.

Jane Foster's High School Reunion The Sky Cannot Ignore Us Maria Hill’s Bi-Annual Performance Review Nothing's Wrong When Nothing's True The Health Benefits of Knitting

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to repond to all of them with at a minimum a thank you. I've got a bit of social anxiety so it's hard for me to do it, but I try to make sure to get them all as a way to work past that.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So I don't typically do much with angst of my own; I use the angst of the setting, largely. I guess 'Stormchild' is the best option here given everything that comes after it in canon.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably The Obloquy of Newness, since it ends with Jane getting a Nobel Prize.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I never have that I can think of. Maybe I come across as a little too 'fuck around and find out'? Not sure why not.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do on rare occasions but I post very little of it. If 'what kind' is referring to kinks, I'm kink light in what I write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't know if I've written a proper crossover. I like the idea of them but have never actually come up with an idea I liked enough to fic. I've done a Daemon AU piece, but that's not properly a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I did have a number of my fics reposted on one of those reposting sites and have to DMCA them, which was a hilariously weird thing for anyone to do and I still boggle at it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not! That would be super cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not that I've posted; a friend and I have cowritten several things which will remain private.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

This is kind of a tough one. I love them all for so many different reasons, so I don't think anyone is an all-time fave over the rest. Nicky/Joe (gay immortal hubbies) from The Old Guard continue to be something I read so much of despite not writing for them; Jane/Thor (nerd socially inept woman and godlike warrior, whats not to love) are an old standby from the MCU alongside Sam/Bucky (bickering to lovers) and Sarah/Bucky (cute overload); I still have a soft spot for Dick/Babs from the DCU, my new faves are Tech/Phee and Miles/Gwen…

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Unshriven. I have a solid idea for it, I just can't get the energy to write for the MCU anymore. A shame, I liked my idea.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I would say dialogue and world-building.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Repetitiveness, being willing to cut out unneeded things or convert them from exposition to action scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I always write it in English and indicate the language if the POV character would know; otherwise, I indicate they don't know what's being said and suggest or state the language. This is simply because I don't know another language to write in; if I were multilingual I would no doubt approach this differently.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

TSR's Dragonlance. It will never see the light of day.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Hm. At the moment I still like how Obliquity turned out despite it being wholly unplanned from the word go. So that's probably my favorite just now; prior to that I'd have said Jane Foster's High School Reunion due to how nicely it all gelled together.

NPTs: anyone who sees these! Let us know~

[maverickbabes]

Winter Wonderland

Winter wonderland

Maverick x female!reader

Warnings: cuteness overload, Fluff fluff <3

Summary: You and your husband Pete decide to go on a stroll to look at all the lights and decorations, since he was home for the holidays and you guys even played in the snow.

Pete's gloved hand reaches for your smaller hand as he helps you out of the car. You saw your breath within the cold air as you let out a breath from the sudden change in temperature. "Ready baby?" He asks as he makes sure you guys have everything before locking the car. You give him a simple nod before looking up to see the Christmas lights sparkling and shining.

"Come on honey, It's a winter wonderland" You said cheerfully as you started to walk through the snow when an idea struck you as you looked down at the snow. Why not have some fun and have a small snowball fight? You looked behind you to see your husband was checking something on his phone.

You took this as the opportunity and bent down, grabbing some snow in your hands forming a ball. Hiding the ball behind your back, you walk back over to him smiling all innocently as he put his phone back into his pocket. "Who was that?" You asked as he pushed a strand of loose hair that escaped your braid behind your ear.

"Just checking my emails sweetie" He simply said as he smiled before leaning down to give you a kiss. You kissed him back and raised your hand above his head before plopping the snow ball onto his hair. He pulls away and shakes his head as he looks at you, snow falling off his hair and down his face. "Really?" He asked smirking before he bent down and grabbed a handful of snow.

Giggling you bent down and grabbed some snow, forming it into a ball. "Come here you" Pete says walking towards you and you started to run. You hid behind a tree and peaked around only to get hit in the face with snow. He laughs at his accomplishment before getting another handful of snow.

"Oh you are so going to get it" You say as you throw your snowball at him, hitting him in the chest. "You cannot beat the master of snowball fights" He jokes before throwing snow at you. You guys did this for what seemed like hours.

Playing in the snow,

Having a snowball fight,

Looking up at the lights that lit up the night.

"This is perfect. I love you Pete Mitchell" You tell him as you take a sip of your hot cocoa, leaving a little whipped cream on your nose. He reaches over and gently wipes your nose before letting his hand play with the loose strands of hair that escaped your braid. "And I love you, y/n Mitchell." He tells you as you got up from your side of the booth and went to sit next to him.

"I know it's not Christmas for another few days, but Merry Christmas baby" You said before leaning your head on his shoulder.

"Merry Christmas baby" He says holding you closer to him while you guys sat there, watching the snowflakes softly dance in the sky as you drank your hot cocoa.

[passionfruitbowls]

i know i haven’t written anything in a hot minute but i wanted to do something short and sweet for valentine’s day, so have this post-reveal ladynoir ficlet 💕

—————

“You okay? You’ve been awfully quiet since we got here.”

Slowly, Chat Noir opened one eye and glanced at Ladybug, who was looking down at him from her spot on top of the chimney.

“Of course, I’ve never been better.” He said as he stretched his arms above his head and yawned. 

Ladybug giggled, “It seems like that race we had earlier has tired you out.”

“Nonsense, m’lady, I’m simply making myself comfortable.” 

For a moment Ladybug said nothing, and Chat Noir lay back again, assuming that she was scanning the area for any stray akumas or amoks. Suddenly he heard a gentle thud followed by the sound of footsteps, and he realised that she had hopped down from the chimney and was making her way across the rooftop. 

“Mind if I join you?”

When Ladybug broke the silence her voice sounded a lot closer, and softer too; opening his eyes once more, Chat Noir saw that she was sitting next to him, resting her chin on her knee as she gazed down at him. There was a familiar glimmer in her eyes, and he instantly knew that his fate was sealed. 

“You are more than welcome.” Chat Noir said with a grin. After all, how could he say no to his girlfriend, and on Valentine’s Day, of all days? 

Satisfied with his answer, Ladybug shuffled forward and lay down beside him, deciding that his shoulder was a better place to rest her head. 

“So, did anything exciting happen to you today?” He asked, even though he could guess what her response would be, given that he had spent the majority of the day with her. 

She pursed her lips and hummed thoughtfully.

“Well…” She began, “my boyfriend gave me a really beautiful Valentine’s card this morning - he’d written a lovely message inside it for me, too! It was clear that he’d spent a lot of time on it. Oh, and he also got me this adorable teddy bear - seriously, I almost died from cuteness overload when I saw it - and some new needles for sewing since I keep losing the ones I already have.” 

“Wow!” Chat Noir exclaimed, raising a hand to his face to try and seem surprised. “That’s so sweet, your boyfriend sounds like a great guy.” 

“He really is.” Ladybug said with a smile, closing her eyes and pulling Chat Noir closer; he could feel his cheeks getting warmer as she did so. 

This was a habit that the two of them had gotten into over the past few months: asking innocuous questions that the other person could answer without jeopardising their identity, to make themselves seem happy and calm, and more importantly to put the public at ease. Right now, however, no one else was around; they were just doing this to please themselves. 

“So…” Ladybug piped up after a minute or two, “how about you? Did you get any interesting gifts that you’d like to tell me about?”

“Oh, I am so glad you asked!” Chat Noir beamed with pleasure. “My girlfriend brought me a box of pastries which she made herself - I’ve already tried one and words cannot describe just how delicious it was. It was like… everything that makes me happy combined into one food.” 

“I’m sure she would be delighted to hear that!” Ladybug said, playfully swatting her partner’s shoulder to hide the fact that she, too, was blushing furiously. 

“She definitely would be.” Chat Noir continued. “Anyways, she then gave me this super cute jumper because she knows that I can really struggle with the cold weather at this time of year. It’s this gorgeous shade of green and, get this, it has lots of little paw prints on it! Also, because she’s amazing, she made a black cat plush for me. It even came with a bell and a collar.”

“That’s very impressive! She must really care about you. Although…I can’t help but wonder if she knows that you’re Chat Noir.” Ladybug smirked. 

Chat Noir shrugged, then changed positions slightly so that he and Ladybug were face-to-face, their noses almost touching. 

“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she knows.” He admitted. Then, just for good measure, he winked at Ladybug and whispered, “She’s smart enough to figure it out on her own. Probably.” 

Ladybug rolled her eyes and laughed. “I wouldn’t be so sure, Chaton, perhaps you’re better at figuring out identities than she is.” 

“Oh, really?” He asked, raising one eyebrow. “Well in that case, do you think my girlfriend would like it if I decided to show her that she’s the most incredible person I know?”

“Yes,” Ladybug murmured as Chat Noir’s lips brushed against her own, “I think she’d like that very much.”

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1059: Group of Friends (Epithet Erased)

3:34 p.m. at Sweet Jazz City's Boardwalk........

Phoenicia: (Gasps Loudly and Eyes Sparkled at What is in Front of Her) S-S-Sh-Sh-S-Sh

Trixie: (Sighs While Rolling Their Eyes) And Cue the obnoxious cuteness overload in 3.......2-

Phoenicia: (Happily Picks Up the Golden Sheep From Sylvie's Lap and Hugs It) SHEEEEEEEP!~

Trixie: Huh. A second early. Should be a new record.

Phoenicia: You can summon these bundle of cuteness at will?~

Sylvie: (Simply Nodded While Sitting Next to Molly on a Bench) As many as I want. Sheeps were my favorite animals growing up, so it wasn't too surprising that summoning them happens to be one of the abilities my epithet allows me to use.

Trixie: (Takes a Closer Look at the Sheep While Rubbing Their Chin) Not a bad ability you got there, doc. (Turns to Sylvie) Can they do anything besides being fluffy and cute? Or get adopted by sheep girl over here?

Phoenicia: I'm gonna name him Chuck!~

Chuck the Sheep: ('Bahhhhhh')

Sylvie: (Smiles Sheepishly) They.....don't really do much in terms of offensive attacks. B-But they can form together a pretty solid defense wall if I can summoning twenty or more of them.

Molly: (Smiles Brightly) They can even form a fluffy pillow and bed to nap on.

Chuck: ('Bah')

Phoenicia: SUCH MAGNIFICENCE!!~ (Clasps her Hands Together and Closes her Eyes) This is it. (Opens her Eyes Again) I cannot keep hiding my inner feelings any longer. (Points Up at the Sky With Full Determination Written All Over Her Face) TODAY IS THE DAY I SHALL POP THE QUESTION!!

Sylvie: I'm sorry, what now?

Molly: Oh no.

Trixie: (Covers Their Face Up In Pure Annoyance and Embarrassment) Stoooooooooppppp!....

Phoenicia: (Gives Chuck to Molly) Hold my baby boy for me, will you, Molly?

Chuck: ('Bah')

Molly: (Gives her Best Friend a Deadpinned Look on her Face) Feenie, don't this.

Phoenicia: I shall and must! (Turns Away and Clears Her Throat Before Turning Back to Sylvie With a Lovely Dovey Look on her Face) Dr. Sylvester Ashling~

Sylvie: (Starts Getting Confused on What's Happening Right Now) Uhh...yes? Also, you can just call me Sylvie if you want.

Phoenicia: Lovely nickname, but that's beside the point. (Gently Grab Sylvie's Hand) Would you make me the happiest girl in the world and marry m-

Trixie: OKAY! I'm tired and grossed out by this! (Grabs Feenie by the Back of the Shirt and Pulls Her Away From Sylvie) Get over here!

Phoenicia: Flabbergasted by Trixie's Action) T-Trixie! What are you doing? Let go!!

Trixie: (Glares at Feenie) Not until you put your stupid, mushy love fantasies in a nearby tombstone!

Phoenicia: I will do no such thing!!!

The two girls starts bickering with one another while Sylvie and Molly watches in the mid distance.

Sylvie: Well.....that happened.

Molly: ('Sigh') Sorry you had to witness that, Sylvie. Feenie can get pretty dramatic when it comes to everything romance related.

Sylvie: (Turns to Molly With a Sheepish Smile) Oh no, it's fine, really. If anything, I'm just glad her and Trixie are taking a liking to me. (Grabs his Chin) At least, I hope they are.....

Molly: (Smiles Softly to Sylvie) They are. And you're doing great opening up and socializing with them so far.

Sylvie: Thanks. I'll try not to bore you guys too much on our time together.

Molly: (Pouts Lightly) Will you stop thinking bad about yourself? I don't find you boring at all.

Chuck: ('Bah')

Molly: See? Even Chuck agrees with me.

Sylvie: ('Sigh') Look, I know you don't, but, well-

????: GREEEEETINGS, ONE AND ALL! FOR I, RICK SHADES, HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED!

Molly/Trixie: (Smiles Brightly at a Very Familiar Face Before Coming Over to See Him) Rick!~

Phoenicia: Our DEAR!!~

Sylvie: (Raises an Eyebrow in Confusion) Rick Shades?

Chuck: ('Bah')

Molly: How have you been?

Phoenicia: (Happily Gives Rick a Hug) We missed you ever so!~

Trixie: Mr. Naven and that limo driver hasn't been boring you too much lately, haven't they?

Rick: (Happily Shakes his Head) Oh heavens no. I adored every moment I've spent with the both of them. Yoomy especially. She taught me how to drive a limo around the town a few days ago.

Phoenicia: Really?

Trixie: (Grins in a Gremlin Liks Fashion) Nice!

Molly: (Smiles Sheepishly) Sounds fun. But uh...you...didn't get into too much trouble on the wheel, did you?

Rick: Oh not completely. Just a few accidents here and there which got me a speeding ticket, banned from ever stepping inside the vehicle without Naven's presence, and enrolled to a driving lessons class! Which bored me to tears everyday!

Trixie: (Gently Pats Rick's Back) I feel your pain, man.

Phoenicia: Oh come now. I think it's wonderful you're taking classes on how to properly drive.

Molly: (Happily Nodded in Agreement) Yeah, maybe we can help you study when it's time for you to take the test. Ooh! Speaking of which.....

Molly turns back to see Sylvie lightly brushing Chuck's fur before calling out his name to come over to her and the others.

Sylvie: (Sighs While Getting Himself Up From the Bench While Holding Chuck in his Arms) Welp, time to go meet this Rick guy I guess. (Makes his Way to the Group)

Chuck: ('Bah')

Molly: Rick, I like to introduce to Slyvie. A friend of mines I made in the museum that night. (Turns Back to Sylvie) Sylvie, meet Rick Shades.

Trixie: A wizard we found half dead by the shores.

Sylvie: Nice to meet you- Wait. Wizard? (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) Half dead!?

Rick: (Happily Nodded) Yep! Been starved, dehydrated, and unresponsive for three and half days! On an unrelated note....(Looks Down at the Sheep Sylvie's Holding as his Eyes Begins to Sparkle) Who is this cute little fella?~

Chuck: ('Bah')

Phoenicia: (Smiles Brighty) Chuckson Fleecity XVI, my pride and joy!~

Rick: (Turns Back to Feenie) You became a mother, Phoenicia? Congratulations!~

Phoenicia: Thank you. (Wipes a Single Tear From her Eyes) I've only known him for a day, but if anyone were to ever try to harm him, I will not hesitate to burn this entire city down to ashes including myself!~

Rick: (Let's Out a Hardy Laugh, Much to Everyone Else's Grimamce) How morbid yet so sweet! That sheep won't have any problems with you by his side.

Phoenicia: (Simply Nodded) That's right. (Happily Hugs Sylvie's Arm) And his existence to this world alone was all thanks to this handsome fellow I fell in love with!~

Trixie: (Glares at Feenie in Annoyance While Pulling her Away From Sylvie) Quit it with the delusional love fantasy, Feenie.

Phoenicia: Never!

Rick: (Turns Back to Sylvie) Ah, so you're the one responsible for creating this ball of fluff and cuteness.

Sylvie: (Hesitant to Give this Rick Shades Fellow the Full Details of his Abilities) Uhhh....Yes? I can create as many sheeps as I want. Among....other things.....

Rick: (Smiles Brightly) Splendid! I believe this amazing discovery calls for a handshake in friendship! (Pulls his Hand Out Towards Sylvie With a Smirk on his Face) Don'tcha think?

Sylvie watches the small bits of black electricity flickering around Rick's hand as he moves it back and forth with his eyebrows bouncing up and down and saying "Eh? Ehhhhh?"

He did remember Trixie saying he's a wizard of some kind, which admittedly peaks his interest of him slightly, but it didn't stop the young psychologist to feel a bit weirded out by his presence completely. Not to say he doesn't like him or anything of the sorts, he seems nice enough as it is so far. He just couldn't help but think that there's a whole lot more to this guy than he's leading himself on.

Before Sylvie could try coming up with something say, something that would excuse him from shaking the wizard's hand effectively, a voice suddenly chimes in and saves him all the trouble.

Molly: (Crosses her Arms at Rick With a Soft Glare on her Face) Rick, we talked about this. You can't keep coming off strong to every new person you want to be friends with.

Rick: Even those with epithets?

Molly: Especially those with epithets. It takes times and effort to form a lasting bond. (Places her Hands on Both of her Hips) And it won't truly start if you keep pestering people to shake your hand, now would it?

Rick: (Stares at Molly For a Few Seconds Before Sighing in Defeat) Yes, I suppose you do have a point there. (Turns Back to Sylvie) Sorry about that, Sylvie, was it? I'm still working on how to make friends more properly. B-But I sincerely hope, from the bottom of my heart, that the both of us will be able get along as the day goes by.

Sylvie stares at the sincerely in Rick's eyes, under the shades he wearing before forming a small smile on face and nodded in agreement.

Sylvie: Thank you, Rick Shades. I hope we can get along too. I like your sunglasses. They looks good on you.

Rick: (Gasps Before Forming a Bright Smile) Why, thank you!~ I have this bad boy with me for the longest time now. I think the glasses you're wearing looks perfect on you.

Sylvie: (Blushes a Bit By the Compliment) Oh, thanks. I have these since I was younger, so-

Before he could finish his sentence, three water balloons thrown by three jocks riding bicycles, suddenly hits the back of Sylvie's head, making him drop Chuck from off his hands and his glasses from off his face, much of everyone's surprise.

Molly: Sylvie!

Jock: Hope you enjoy the refreshing splash, Sheep Boi! (Laughs Alongside his Pals as They Start Riding Off)

Phoenicia: (Fuming With Anger) Hey! (Shakes her Fist at the Laughing Jocks) Who gives you the right be rude jerks to him, you....JERKS!!!

Sylvie: (Groans in Annoyance as He Picks Up his Glasses) Of course....

Molly: (Picks Chuck Back Up in her Arms) Sylvie, who were they just now?

Sylvie: (Wipes his Glasses Off a Bit Before Putting it Back on his Face) Randell and his football team. He's my neighbor's son who's the same age as me. But he always have to find a way make my life more stressful than it already is! One time, when I was heading to my office to work, him and his friends cornered me, took my glasses out of my face, and started throwing it at one another for two minutes and a half straight before I trip and fell on a pile of mud. Then, a few days after that, I came home and found out that they SOMEHOW got into my apartment and made it a complete mess! And I can't tell his parents about all of this on the account that they never liked me from the very beginning for whatever reason, so now I have to suck it up and deal with the fact that their hell spawn is gonna mess with me every single chance that he gets! (Sighs Heavily While Pinching his Nose) It's infuriating.....

Trixie: I can get 'em back for you.

Sylvie: (Turns to Trixie) Wait, you can do that?

Trixie: Heck yeah. (Smirks Proudly) Well known fact about me, four-eyes, but I happen to be a champ at seeking vengeance on those who deserves it. Just give me a day or two for preparations and those meatheads won't know what hit 'em.

Rick: (Raises his Hand Impatiently) Ooh ooh! Can I help out with your potential master plan? I'm a huge fan of everything revenge related!

Molly: ('Sigh') I suppose I'll help out too. And make sure we don't get ourselves into too much trouble.....

Phoenicia: I normally do not condone the acts of harming others. (Gets Angry Again) I will RIP those scoundrels to pieces if they ever mess with Sylvie again!!

Everyone stares at Feenie in silence with surprise and fear written all over their faces.

Trixie: Calm down, girl. We're just pranking them.

Chuck: ('Bah')

Sylvie: I....really appericate all of this, you guys. But you don't have to go out of your way to get them back for me.

Trixie: True. But what kind of friends we would be if let 'em get away with it?

Sylvie: (Eyes Begins to Widened at the Word That Came Out if Trixie's Mouth) Friends? You......really like having me around?

Rick: (Smiles Brightly Along With Everyone Else) Of course we do, champ. You seem like a nice enough fellow to all of us at least.

Phoenicia: We want nothing more than to form an everlasting bond with you from tis day forward.

Molly: And I think now it's a good time to have ourselves some-

'Sniff'

Molly: Fun?

The gang turn to see tears beginning to form up on Sylvie's eyes much to their concern.

Rick: Are.... you alright there, Champ?

Sylvie: (Quickly Wipes the Tears Away) ('Sniff') Yeah, yeah, I'm alright. Just.... ('Sniff') getting some water out of my face. It's definitely not because of what you guys said or anything. (Let's Put a Wet Chuckle) That'll be ridiculous.

Molly: Oh Sylvie! (Gives Sylvie a Loving Hug) It's okay.

Phoenicia: (Joins in on the Hug Along With Trixie) There's no need for to hold it in any longer. Cry as much as you want, dear.

Trixie: Anyone who has a problem with that will have us to answer to. We got your back on this, four eyes.

Rick: (Happily Joins in on the Group Hug) What they say and then some!

Chuck: (Rubs his Cheek onto Sylvie's Leg) ('Baaah')

With little to nothing else to say, Sylvie finally begins to let out his pent up his emotions and cry his eyes out. His cry was loud enough to gain attention of folks walking by, giving him and the gang weird looks in process, but he didn't care.

As long as his new group of friends are there by his side to give him love and care he's been wanting for years on end, then the young psychologist can keep crying until his voice decides to give out on him. It is in his rights to do (not completely, but still).

@cyber-wildcat

@keyenuta

@epithet-erased-textposts

@aprilbrowines

[theweasleysredhair]

sO BLOODY CUTE

it was all yellow

request from nonnie!!! “hi love, wanted to throw out this request before camping ;u; only if you’re up for it, for either of the twins: i’d love something fluffy inspired by one of my favorite text posts on this site: she guessed my favorite color first try.. but between me and u.. i didnt even have a favorite color until she yelled out yellow! she was hella excited n smiling like a little kid, so i told her she was right and i havent seen yellow the same since, its in everything. i could probably live in it now. 🌻”

pairing: fred x hufflepuff!reader

word count: 3k

A/N: love me a good cheeky fred. also this prompt was FUCKING adorable and i did try to incorporate the actual quote into my writing but some of it didn’t flow.. so i hope it’s still as good as you’d imagined?? also def listened to coldplay’s “yellow” whilst writing this x

tag list: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @how-do-life-does @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @semmelsemi @cottageoflove @laneygthememequeen @snakesonaplane-7 @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @dreamer821 @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic | message me to be added, loves!

“Mr. Weasley!”

Umbridge’s voice is shrill, and it immediately pulls Fred out of his daydream-like state, but not quickly enough for him to turn his attention toward his professor and avoid making incredibly embarrassing eye contact with you. The entire class, much to his dismay, turns to glance at him – you included. It’s unlike him to feel so insecure, so embarrassed, but alas – here he is.

“Yes, Professor?”

“Is there a reason,” Umbridge hisses, the edges of her lips curling into a rather evil smirk, “that you’ve chosen to completely ignore me during the lesson?”

Fred considers this for a moment. He could take this opportunity to explain to his professor that yes, now that you mention is, there is a reason. A huge reason. He could then proceed to tell you about all of the overwhelming feelings that have seemed to take over him the last few weeks. It could be a grand gesture, couldn’t it? Scooping you up into his arms, sliding a hand around the back of your neck, telling you just exactly what keeps him up at night – that adorable smile of yours, and the pineapple scent in your hair. It’d be all the castle would be able to talk about, wouldn’t it? Plus, to be able to ignore Umbridge even more and do something so utterly abysmal in the middle of her lesson and have the rest of the students cheer him on, well – it’s something Fred’s always dreamt of.

Keep reading

[mammoneymelon]

How the brothers would react to finding out that MC is autistic

before anyone says anything, i’m autistic and just really want some representation

TW for ableism! the boys are doing their best but no NT immediately knows everything about autism

it’s a bit random, but i headcanon that lucifer has misophonia, so it’s only a matter of time before a noisy/verbal stim starts to drive him up a wall

“what in the devildom are you doing?” he’d ask, eyebrows scrunched in frustration

you have no idea what he’s talking about; after all, you’ve just been sitting on your DDD playing some rhythm game

“what do you mean?”

“you’ve been making that noise for hours; cut it out before i have to go find the packing tape.”

you know him well enough to know he isn’t joking, so you nod and do your best to stop, ignoring the feeling of dread beginning to well up in your chest

you go back to your game, and soon enough, you’re back to ‘making that noise’

you see lucifer stand up, bringing your action to your attention.

“oh, sorry! i didn’t realize i was doing it again, sorry!”

“oh?” he asked, looking down at you. 

“it’s stimming. autistic people do it a lot more than others, and sometimes we don’t even notice it.” there’s a moment of silence but you realize you just told him something you hadn’t even told your human friends

“ah, yes, i do remember reading about that in your file. i didn’t want to say anything so as not to offend you.”

you shake your head. “dude! that’s personal business! i don’t like telling people.”

lucifer’s gaze seems to soften. “don’t fret, MC. i won’t tell a soul.”

and he doesn’t.

he also totally buys you quiet stim toys

it’s not long before mammon realizes you are terrible at reading the room

you have a terrible habit of cracking a joke at the worst time or saying the first thing that comes to your mind, even if it was at the expense of others

at first, mammon, mammon thought you were really brave. now, however, he sees that you just have no idea what you’re doing

currently, your knack for trouble had landed you in detention, something you’d gotten fairly used to in the human world. mammon was sitting next to you - he was paying for trying to defend you

“lucifer’s going to kill us. again.”

“and whose fault is that?”

“sorry,” you mumble. “it’s not like i was trying to get us here.”

“really? because it’s startin’ to seem like you are. not that i blame ya, if i were you i’d do anything to spend more time with the great mammon.” he gives you a smile, and you really hope that means he isn’t mad

“i really don’t like upsetting people, i just don’t really get tone? i didn’t even realize the teacher was mad until you stepped in. “

“dude, she was on the verge of killing ya! what do ya mean you “didn’t even realize”?

you pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. “it’s part of a disorder i have. autism. i just don’t get some stuff that comes naturally to other people.”

“ohhh.” mammon slaps his head, feeling like an idiot. “sorry,” he murmurs, and you barely hear it

mammon, being, well, mammon, will probably forget.

it’s not that he doesn’t care! it’s just not something that comes up in conversation.

of course, when the two of you do talk about it, he picks up on the symptoms pretty quickly. he’s a pretty smart guy, and he’ll do anything and everything for his human

the two of you are working on a co-op dungeon while you talk about your current special interest

“wow, MC, you know a lot about this!”

“thanks,” you respond, and it hits you - you’ve been infodumping almost this whole time

“haha, yeah, blame it on the autism brain,” you joke absentmindedly, not really caring if he knew. you two were good friends, why would being neurodivergent make a difference?

levi, on the other hand, does a double take. being the gamer he is, he’d definitely heard the word used as an insult, but he’d never thought about anyone actually having autism - much less his best friend

“MC, you have autism?” he turns to you looking genuinely confused, his controller sitting, forgotten, in his lap

“um, yeah? it’s not really a big deal,” you say, shrugging

“yeah it is! i mean i knew you were pretty weird, since you hang out with me-” he stops mid-sentence, realizing his mistake. “NOT IN A BAD WAY, OF COURSE! ah sorry, i said something stupid, like always.”

you shake your head with a small smile. you can tell he’s trying. “trust me, i’ve heard much worse. you’re fine, levi.”

he glances up at you, face red from embarrassment, and your smile widens. “i mean, i don’t think like ‘normal’ people anyway, so yeah, i kinda am weird.”

once you leave his room, he’s at his pc, researching more vigorously that he’s ever done for a class

the more he learns, the more annoyed he gets at the complete misunderstanding of the disorder

ultimately, he just wants to make sure you feel supported and understood

you’re sitting in the library, doing your homework while satan looks over your essay, checking for errors

“oi, MC”

“what’s up?” you respond, still focused on your work

“are you scared of me?”

this prompts you to look up, focusing your eyes on his hands

“i was when i first came here, and i definitely would be scared if i really pissed you off, but no, i’m not scared of you. why do you ask?”

“you never look me in the eyes. or my brothers, actually.”

oh. you’d been hoping no one had noticed. “oh, i just don’t like eye contact. it makes me uncomfortable.” you return your eyes to your paper, hoping that was enough.

“how so?” 

so it wasn’t enough.

“i’m autistic, genius. i figured it was obvious by now.”

“oh. that makes sense.” that’s all he says, so you try to return your focus to your homework.

satan is probably the most comfortable talking to you about it. he’ll ask you questions about your personal experiences and make an effort to understand you better

one day you look over his shoulder to find him reading an article on masking on his DDD

he cares deeply for you, even if it’s hard for him to say so

asmo has wrangled you into yet another shopping trip

“MC, look at this!! you have to try it on!”

one look at the article of clothing and your face is already scrunching up

“absolutely not.”

“awe, why not?” he gives you the biggest puppy eyes and you sigh. he knows your weaknesses.

“the material. i hate it.”

“but it would look so good on you~”

clearly, he’s not going to give up unless you explain yourself to him

“sure, for a couple seconds, until i have a complete meltdown,” you remark. “i’m autistic, so some textures just make me feel really bad.”

his mouth makes an ‘o’ shape, and then he goes back to looking confused. “i hadn’t even thought about that as a possibility! you should’ve said something earlier!”

he feels really bad about all the times he’s touched you without warning. he thought your shock was cute (and he still does), but he knows that autistic people sometimes dislike touch - he’s definitely had at least a couple autistic ‘partners’ in the past

he’s quite the observant demon, quickly picking up on sensations you d and don’t like. if you’re bothered by smells, he does his best to lay off on the perfume - granted, it’s a necessary part of his routine that he absolutely cannot give up completely. he lets you play with the dimmer in his room so you can find the amount of light that works best.

occasionally, he’ll have to tell you that he’s trying his absolute best to flirt and you are giving him nothing. you’re just like “oh shit i didn’t realize”

asmo’s just a sweetheart who wants you to be comfortable

beel unfortunately has to learn about your autism because of a situation out of your control

you’re in the gym, keeping him company while he works out

you’re searching his bag and you realize you don’t have your headphones

oh fuck.

you always bring your headphones to the gym; the sounds of televisions, music, people talking, weights clinking, treadmills rumbling... it’s too much

not to mention the stench of sweat and the florescent lights - truly an autistic person’s nightmare

you squeeze you eyes shut, but that only makes the noise worse. you’re surrounded by noise and you can’t stop it. it occurs to you that you’re no longer breathing properly but it’s just too loud and you’re so small

“MC?” beel’s voice is soft and filled with obvious concern. you open your eyes, seeing him kneeling in front of you. your eyes sting, and you realize you’re tearing up. “MC, are you alright?” 

all you can do is shake your head

“do you want to go home?” you nod, biting your lip as he stands up, making you feel even smaller.

he quickly packs his things into his bag and offers you a hand, helping you get up

he quickly escorts you outside, where you practically gulp for air. 

he waits patiently with you while you slowly ground yourself. 

“okay, let’s go home.” you explain sensory overload as you walk, then tell him about your autism

beel, like asmo, is very observant and he learns surprisingly fast. 

he’s also very protective of you. if someone triggers you, he won’t hesitate to tell them off before doing a grounding exercise with you

he’s basically you’re giant therapy demon and you love him for it

it’s becoming way too much. you’ve been masking heavily for months, monitoring your every move while doing your absolute best to thrive in a (literally) completely different universe than what you’re used to

you’re laying facedown on the couch, practically unable to move. you want to go to your room, but your body won’t let you

“mc?” you hear belphegor’s voice. “are you trying to imitate me?” he teases

you simply groan in response, not wanting to bother

for a moment he goes silent. then, you feel a hand on your shoulder

you jolt up, swiping his hand away as you let out a small shout. belphie’s eyes are widened in surprise

“don’t touch me! ...please,” you add as an afterthought, feeling bad for scaring him

he sits with you on the couch, taking care to leave space between the two of you. “what’s wrong?” you don’t respond. “mc?”

“burnout. too much. feel bad.”

belphie has absolutely no clue what that means, but he figures he knows something that might help.

“want to take a nap with me?”

you have to think about it before responding with a “sure” and slowly crawling into his arms (if that’s something you’re okay with)

it’s night when the two of you wake up. you still feel awful, but you can at least cope better.

once belphie’s more awake, he asks you what the hell happened

“two words: autistic shutdown”

“that doesn’t explain anything” - belphie really doesn’t know anything about humans

you do your best to explain - you were born with a brain that works a bit differently than most humans. some of the symptoms are an aversion to change and ‘odd’ behavior that’s difficult to hide. when you get too stressed, you just kinda ‘shut down’

he takes a bit to really understand, but once he does, he does his best to support you.

he falls asleep to your infodumping and you find it endearing

he gets good at recognizing when you’re starting to shut down and he always convinces you to take a break via a cuddly nap

[putschki1969]

「Yuki Kajiura LIVE vol.#16 〜Sing a Song Tour〜」 Report

Performance title: “Yuki Kajiura LIVE vol.# 16 ~ Sing a Song Tour ~” July 28 Broadcast date: October 8; Open: 19:30 Start: 20:00 [Participating artists] Yuki Kajiura (Piano / Chorus) KAORI (Vocal), KEIKO (Vocal), YURIKO KAIDA (Vocal), Joelle (Vocal), Guest Vocal: Aimer

Once again, I come bearing gifts. ^_^ As mentioned earlier, e+ makes it almost impossible for foreign fans to register and purchase tickets, it’s a huge shame. Therefore, I have decided  to share this with you. Please enjoy!  〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

»»—— CLICK ME 🎁 CLICK ME ——««

❗FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗If you use PARTS of it, CREDIT me❗

Random Thoughts

Note: Finally got to watch the YKL. Since this wasn’t a live broadcast, it wasn’t too high on my priority list but of course I couldn’t resist buying a ticket. My report/review will focus mostly on Keiko and whatever else strikes my fancy. I apologise in advance to all Joelle/Kaori/Aimer fans, while I would never bash anyone I typically don’t have a lot of nice things to say about them.

Outfits: YK’s “gown” is simply the best, hands down her most gorgeous outfit up to date. The utahime dresses are meh, nothing to write home about. Keiko in thigh-high boots is always a win though. 

Beginning: This Saeko Chiba cover is totally new to me, it’s my first time hearing the song. The overture is adorable and so mesmerising. YK mentioned a while back that she wanted this to be a sort of musical/theatrical introduction to all the participating artists and she certainly achieved her goal. Love how everyone gets their turn to shine. Having the spotlight on Keiko right from the start is such a treat. She is using her cutesy voice but it fits the vibe of the song so I am not mad. Cuteness overload. And you know me, I am so weak when it comes to “lalala”s. Immediate fave!!  Not a fan of Joelle’s singing here, Kaori is Kaori. OMG, Yuriko blew me away. Perfection. Surprisingly one of my favourite performances from this live. Did not expect that. 

記憶の森: Also new to me. I don’t know any of Yuuka’s songs if I am being honest :P A solid song, not an instant favourite but it might just take a few more listens to grow on me. Very happy about the focus on Keiko :-) She sounds amazing! Love it when she gets lots of solo lines. Once again, Yuriko delivers some epic parts towards the end,  － MC －

Distance: Have always enjoyed this song, I am not missing Wakana too much here but I can’t say I love the version without her. For some reason Joelle’s singing is rubbing me the wrong way during this live. 

Fields of hope: Not my cup of tea. Doesn’t do anything for me for some reason. Maybe too much Kaori. Sorry to all Kaori-fans! I don’t wanna bash her or anything, I have just never liked her voice too much. 

宝石: Will never get tired of this. 💕 Beautiful performance by Keiko. However, I don’t think this is as good as some previous versions of the song. 

凱歌: Damn, one of my all-time faves but without Wakana it really isn’t the same. *sobs* She is sorely missed here. These cool WaKei harmonies just cannot be recreated. Also, I swear, I typically don’t mind Joelle’s singing but so far during this live she just sounds ughhh to me, I am having a really hard time appreciating her parts. Has she always sounded this squeaky?  － MC －

moonlight melody: Cute! More “lalala”s for me!

ひとりごと: Okay but I have never been a big fan. 

約束: Next

花の唄 (Aimer): No thoughts. Not familiar enough with the song to appreciate it. Sorry T_T 

I beg you (Aimer): Ohhh, I can get behind this, a REALLY cool song. Loved the performance (and Keiko wasn’t even on stage XD). Still can’t find it within myself to love Aimer’s voice though. Of course it’s all up to personal preference. － MC －

wonderland (Aimer): Uhmmm...Next

春はゆく (Aimer): Wanna get into it because it’s a ballad and it has lots of Keiko harmonies but for the life of me, I can’t bring myself to like it.  － MC －

eternal blue: Usually skip this song. Not because it’s bad or anything. It’s okay but nothing special. I really only like the short Keiko solo :P

stone cold: Just like “Gaika” this is one of my all-time faves but I miss Wakana in the chorus. I can still enjoy the performance without her though. Keiko is having a blast. Love her interaction with Kaori, On a side note, I actually kinda liked Kaori covering Wakana’s parts this time around － MC －

ユメノツバサ: LOVE 💕 － EN －

目覚め: Epic. Yuriko slays. Joelle also sounds great here. Not missing Wakana too much. Solid performance. 10/10. 

zodiacal sign: The Ongaku of YK Lives. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. Guess I have to be in the mood for it. LOL at Yuriko waving into the camera, so adorable. Keiko was totally flustered XD － MC －

maybe tomorrow: Still not over the fact that Joelle was given all of Keiko’s solo parts T_T I don’t like it

*sighs* I kinda regret buying a ticket for this. Definitely NOT my favourite YKL setlist. This once again reminded me how picky I can be sometimes, I am surprised by how many songs I disliked. I wonder if I got a little overstimulated today so my reactions to this were overly negative...? Will have to rewatch it tomorrow. At least my “lalala” needs were fulfilled XD And it’s nice to see Keiko recruiting a new member to her harem. She cannot help herself and almost tackle-hugs Aimer from behind, typical Keiko-attack :P   

[wolf-and-bard]

The Geraskier (and Lambden) H2O: Just Add Water AU of my dreams (bc Mermay is almost over and I haven’t done a thing for it and putting Geraskier into my favourite teenage shows is too much fun; this got long and messy):

-Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert grew up on the coast of Australia on an estate that is very big and private with its own sectioned-off part of the beach; among all their surfer kid school friends they are definitely the outcasts; they keep to themselves a lot and everyone thinks it’s because of their overprotective father who keeps them from throwing the best parties and also doesn't want them to go out into the ocean or have swimming lessons

-Vesemir is overprotective, but not for the reason everyone thinks; whenever he and/or his boys come into contact with water, they turn into mer-boys, complete with shimmering golden tails; he hoped this genetic oddity would pass them by, but it didn’t and so he taught them to be very careful for fear of them getting hurt

-they all cope with this in different manners: Geralt and Eskel mostly use their ability to do good; they protect little turtles from falling prey to predators, they collect trash from the bottom of the ocean; they also wrestle in the water a lot; Lambert tries to forget this is a thing and stays as far away form any body of water as he can; he spends most of his time secluded in his room, listening to edgy grunge music; sometimes his brothers can lure him out for a round of waterball in their private pool

-Jaskier is one of the popular kids one grade below Geralt (together with Lambert). He always gets the lead role in theatre, he has dozens of friends and a cool band and his outfits are outrageously fashionable; he vlogs a lot, he vlogs so much that anyone who has half a mind to get invested in his life will know everything from his morning routine to the night cream he uses; his favourite cafeteria lunch, the name of his teddy bear and his least favourite cousin

-Jaskier is also determined to befriend Geralt and his bros; he grew up in the same street as them and ever since he discovered Instagram, he’s been dying to take some shots in that house; he’s been over once, when Vesemir made the mistake of inviting a few kids Lambert’s age to his birthday party which ended up in a cake-throwing disaster; little Jaskier thought it was a great idea to tow the garden hose in and clean everything which ruined Vesemir’s favourite rug and had Geralt turn into a mer-boy on the spot; needless to say, Jaskier attributes this memory to a fever dream

-So, Jaskier starts following Geralt and Eskel around (he knows he’ll have no luck with Lambert) and they brush him off every opportunity they get

-What Jaskier doesn’t realize is that Geralt is hardcore in love with him, like so much so that his poor teenage mind cannot stop producing hormones on overload; he spends a lot of time out in the depths to distract himself from this

-What Jaskier also doesn’t realize is that he is falling for Geralt; it’s only for the sake of the 'gram, he tells himself, and because his followers seem to love the chunky mysterious senior with his strangely white hair

-Jaskier’s followers figure it out, the whole school figures it out, Lambert and Eskel figure it out (Geralt lets the guy sit at their lunch table, of course they’re in love) and eventually, even Geralt figures it out. Only Jaskier doesn’t and Geralt has a big-ass secret to keep anyway

-and so, to get rid of his pent-up frustration, he dives deeper and deeper; Eskel starts to worry, Vesemir says it’s just a phase, Lambert plainly doesn’t care

-Speaking of: Aiden is the snarky rich kid / bully that spends way too much time obsessing over uncovering their secret (bc he thinks he’s smart and always thought something about Vesemir was weird and he doesn’t like how they make such a fuss over their privacy). when he invities the three to one of his pool parties, he tries everything to make them reveal what they have going on, but Geralt doesn’t even show and Eskel keeps disappearing to play with Aiden’s dog and so Aiden is stuck with Lambert whom he definitely has a crush on, but won’t ever admit it. they’re enemies, okay? there’s a lot of tension and they end up drunkenly making out behind garden shed, something they both regret in the morning; Lambert doesn’t leave his room for a week straight and feigns a flu so he doesn’t have to meet Aiden at school; Aiden and Jaskier are friends ofc

-one day at school Geralt and Jaskier hang out on the lunch break alone because Eskel’s on a zoo trip with his class and Lambert is avoiding Aiden so he spends all his time holed up beneath the seats of the football field writing angry poems; Jaskier’s forgotten to charge his camera battery so it’s just them, stealing fries off each other’s plates, actually talking for once and Geralt’s sweating because Jaskier sits so close their knees bump and he looks ridiculously cute in his pastel dungarees and there’s this spot of ketchup on his nose that Geralt’s just itching to reach out and wipe away

-Jaskier isn’t all that hungry and he watches Geralt devour a third slice of pizza when he remembers his stupid childhood fever dream; he tells Geralt all about it, the cake fight, the ensuing mess and how he distinctly remembers Geralt growing a fish-tail and flopping around on the living room floor while Vesemir was screaming at them all to get out. “Funny, isn’t it? What your brain can make up?”; Geralt turns chalk-white and splutters a fake laugh

-he isn’t at school the next day and neither are Eskel or Lambert

-nor the next

-they are all a bit afraid, cautious and they just need to spend a few days, just the four of them, throwing themselves into the waves and being free of the shackles of their secrets; they chase each other around, they play some water ball and Vesemir makes them hot cocoa and rubs them dry the way he used to when they were younger and still unable to handle their transformation well

-as he does this, Vesemir thinks about moving somewhere more secure where there are less people, but he can’t take the boys’ life away; Geralt is clearly happy with Jaskier, Lambert’s coming around to opening up to someone, even if that someone is a giant asshole, and Eskel’s too easily unsettled to move elsewhere

-by the third day the boys don’t appear at school - and answer none of his texts - Jaskier gets unsettled; his followers urge him to just go and visit Geralt (they also finally enlighten Jaskier about his own feelings) and Jaskier does. thankfully, his camera is still uncharged and he forgot his phone at home or he would have filmed what he saw as he climbed their garden fence very ungracefully (no one opened the door)

-Geralt went too far out, too deep and got caught in the undertow of some massive waves, then was pulled under and cut himself on some rocks; Jaskier just about catches Eskel and Lambert dragging their brother ashore, his tail flopping helplessly; there’s blood washing away in the waves; Geralt’s eyes are closed and Jaskier understands with rare clarity that somehow this is his fault

-he hurtles towards Geralt, kicking up mud, so afraid that Geralt is going to die and as he does so he calls for Geralt, ignores Lambert’s curses and Eskel’s glower. They gently lower Geralt to the sand where the other two are out of reach of the hungry waves and Lambert runs for Vesemir, Eskel crouches down by Geralt’s tail, inspecting his wounds; meanwhile Jaskier is completely unfazed by the mer-boy thing, he simply drags Geralt’s head onto his lap and strokes his hair, apologizing over and over

-once Geralt is transformed back into human form, his wounds are patched up and Vesemir has given him a thorough lecture, he and Jaskier cuddle on the back porch couch and Jaskier keeps altering between laughing and crying; it’s ridiculous, Geralt is a mer-boy, but also he looked so fragile being hauled out of the water and Jaskier just loves him so fucking much

-and Geralt loves him back. and that’s how a spot of angst orchestrates their happily ever after

-meanwhile Aiden finds out when he has Lambert over for some making out one day and thinks it’s a funny idea to deposit his not-boyfriend in the pool mid-kiss; Lambert just floats in the pool, arms crossed, tail beating, waiting for Aiden to call the cops on him, but Aiden is super turned on and jumps in the pool with him and there’s more making out

THE END

[stanknotstark]

Easy Aim (Is Only Exciting Once or Twice) Pt. 7 (Loki x Reader)

I can’t believe we’re on the second to last part....Also this entire chapter is totally because of @addicted-to-loki​ who helped me come up with ideas of things to do while sick and not be dull!! The cuteness overload? All them! Thank you for helping me out, you da best!!!! Enjoy!

Luckily the whole Frost Giant thing passes within 24 hours and you’re back to  walking the tower with Loki. However, Loki has the case of the sniffles.

You’re both sitting at the bar in one of Tony’s many common areas reading. It’s 8 A.M. in the morning, you check the time so you may keep track on how many hours it takes Loki to become truly sick. Because that’s exactly what’s happening, he’s catching a cold or flu, you just have this feeling in your gut. 

Loki sniffs beside you, loudly, sniffs again, sniffs once more before he slams his book on the counter, making you jump. You look at him with wide eyes and he is shaking his head, pinching the bridge of his nose with closed eyes. 

“I apologize, that was uncalled for.” Loki says in a nasally voice, dropping his hand and looking at you miserably.

You smile apologetically and lay your own book down, softer than Loki of course. 

“You’re getting sick.” 

“An astute observation.” Loki says, rolling his eyes. 

Your smile widens. Loki is obviously frustrated. You know how annoying a cold or flu can be so you let him slide by with his quip. 

“I’ve never seen you get sick.” You remark sympathetically.

Loki huffs. “I am resistant to minor sicknesses. If I ever get sick it is usually something that will most likely kill me if not treated immediately.” 

That makes you panic a bit on the inside but he’s in your body, you rationalize, so it’s probably nothing bad.

“Perhaps you should go lay down?” You suggest to Loki with a questionable tilt at the end of your sentence. 

Loki debates, sniffs, and nods getting up with his book and making his way from the room. 

You stay reading for another two hours but Jarvis calls for your attention. 

“Miss. Loki is requesting your attention in his rooms.” Jarvis voices into the open room.

You smile at your book but mentally start making a list of movies to watch with Loki. 

You make your way to Loki’s room and when you get there you knock. Behind the door you hear a pitiful, “Come in!” 

You open the door and look at Loki amused. He sits in the middle of his bed surrounded by hundreds of tissues. His nose is bright red from being rubbed raw and his eyes dance with irritation as he looks at you. 

“I cannot sleep. My nose is congested, my throat feels as if it’s been rubbed raw with sandpaper, and my body feels as if I have been hit by a bilgenipe.” Loki says in a clipped, nasally tone.

You smile at him softly. “Let me grab some medicine, be back in a sec.” You tell Loki who nods at you. 

You grab some NyQuil Cold and Flu and make your way back to Loki’s room. 

Once back you note Loki has thrown all his tissues that had littered his bed away and now sits up at the headboard with enough room for you to cuddle with him. 

You come to his side and give him some of the medicine before you climb into bed with him. 

As you settle Loki latches onto you like an octopus. He shoves his way into a side hug, wraps his arms around your chest, and settles his head where your neck meets your shoulder with a few sniffles. 

When you settle your arms around Loki he pulls away a bit, you don’t let him pull away completely though, confused. First he’s cuddling into you, now he pulls away?

“I might get you sick.” He states simply, not seeing your confused look as he looks down.

“You said you don’t catch minor sicknesses, didn’t you?” You point out, even more confused.

Loki looks up at you with confused eyes as well, flickering over your face, then you see recognition. 

“My fault, I had believed we were in the correct bodies.” Loki says, grabbing a tissue and dabbing at his running nose. 

You chuckle. Seeing Loki like this is...new, to say the least. You have a convoluted wish pass through your mind that Loki should catch more minor sicknesses because he opens up, becomes clingy, and oblivious. It’s cute. 

“Would you like to watch a movie, read, or....” You trail off thinking of what else you can do while sick. 

“Would you be opposed to watching a movie and braiding my hair?” Loki asks in a small voice. 

When you don’t answer right away Loki lets more words tumble out. “Mother used to braid my hair when I was sick, it calms me.” 

You nod at Loki who softly smiles. 

You ask Jarvis to put on a comedy movie as Loki shifts in between your legs, his back to you. Loki settles with his hands on your legs, covered by the bedsheets and sighs when you begin running your hands through....your? Hair. 

You scratch at his scalp lightly, making Loki let out a delicate moan. You smile and glance at the TV. 

Jarvis chose 50 First Dates. You shake your head, your smile widening, a classic rom com. You almost think Jarvis is trying to cultivate your relationship with Loki. 

As the movie starts Loki watches it with rapt attention. You trail your fingers through his hair and begin braiding it. You decide on a fishtail braid, something you haven’t been able to do to yourself but would like to see it on your body. You have to stop a few times as Loki needs to sneeze, wipe his nose and all that fun stuff that comes with the flu. 

Halfway through the movie, long after you’ve braided his hair and let him relax into your body, his back to your chest, Loki asks you a question.

“Is this-” Loki sneezes, groans into his hand then continues, “Are we exclusive?” He asks with a slight slur, the NyQuil probably working on his body, which tenses at his question.

You let one of your hands come up and lightly let your fingers play on his neck. “Is that what you want?” You ask, taking advantage of his openness. 

“Yes. I do not do well with sharing but if you truly want that I can work on learning how to play nice with others....I suppose.” 

You hum, your fingers trailing up Loki’s neck, over his jaw and ear, smiling when he leans his head to the side so your touch may better trace over his skin. 

“I do not want a polyamorous relationship.” You say with care. “I want you to be mine and only mine.” At your admission Loki’s hand squeeze at your leg in appreciation. 

“Then that is what you shall receive, darling.” Loki says, his body relaxing again. You feel your cheeks burn at his nickname. While Loki has used nicknames for you this is the first time he has used them while you both were...dating?

“I assume this means we are officially a couple?” You ask the man in your body.

“Yes.” Loki says, his attention waning as you feel him succumbing to sleep.

You laugh a little as Loki tries to fight the sleep. You’re sure his eyes have closed when he jerks in your hold, multiple times. 

“Speak to me.” Loki requests of you, finally.

“No, you need to rest, rest is vital for getting better.” You tell Loki, noticing his sneezing has resided as well as his sniffles. 

Loki lets out a light huff, shaking his head that rests on your chest. “Don’ want to.” He slurs out.

You bring your hand to his hair and begin scratching at his scalp again. 

Loki brings a hand up to grab yours with a groan, not having the strength to pull it away so he lets his hand fall back on the bed. “No, stop.” He pleads.

“Why?” You whisper to him, amused. 

“Like bein’ with you. Like time with you.” Loki breathes out, his body turning to jelly under your hand as you continue scratching his scalp.

You let out a breathy chuckle. 

“I’m sure a few hours of sleep won’t hurt.” You say, Loki sighing. “Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up and we can spend more time together, ok?” You tell, more than ask, Loki. 

Loki’s body completely relaxes on top of you. 

“...N’k.” He says before falling asleep on you. 

In the middle of Loki’s slumber Thor comes in to check up on him. 

“Hey, Thor.” You smile at the god who gives a warm smile back. 

He sits on the edge of the bed, at the foot, giving Loki a loving look. 

“It has been years since Loki has been sick. He absolutely abhors sickness, claims that it takes away precious time when he must rest up and be kind to his body.” Thor explains. 

You smile. “Yes, I realized this when he tried fighting sleep to spend more time with me.”

Thor chuckles deeply then becomes serious, causing your smile to drop and become a frown.

“Now is the only time I can ask without being scorned,” Thor takes his eyes off Loki and looks at you, “What are your intentions with my brother?” 

You purse your lips as you think about your answer. 

“I can’t read the future...” You start, “But I want something long-term. I don’t want this to be a fling, and I can’t tell you I want to marry him right now but I would like to see if we could maybe...have that, some day.” You say with a frown as you examine your emotions internally. 

Your eyes, that had trailed during your explanation, snap to Thor when he speaks again.

“All I ask of you is to be patient with Loki. While things are fine right now, while he seems open right now, does not mean he will always be like this. He has trouble expressing his feelings, of dealing with them in a healthy manner.” Thor says, his eyes becoming sad as he looks at Loki again. 

You nod, your hand coming up to rub over Loki’s forehead, running through his hair. As your hand runs over his head Loki shifts a little and whispers your name. 

You smile down at him. 

“Thank you for giving my brother something to be happy about. It has been decades since I’ve seen him be so unguarded around someone.” Thor says with fondness in his voice. 

Thor stands with a cough to clear his throat. Looking at you he smiles and nods. “Take care.” Then Thor leaves you alone with Loki again with much to think about. 

It’s another hour before Loki wakes up. He wakes up violently by coughing hard. It’s enough to make you jerk under his body from fright at the calm, quietness being broken so loudly.

Loki sits up as he coughs some more. You rub his back until he stops. He takes in deep breaths. 

“It’s time for more medicine and food.” You state, Loki moving from between your legs so you may get up and out of the bed. 

He sits on the edge of the bed, his face in his hands. When you pour out some more NyQuil and go to hand it to him he looks up at you with groggy eyes. 

“I feel like death.” Loki says roughly, sounding like his voice is grinding in his throat. 

“You look like it too.” You say with a small smile, deciding to throw in some humor to see how bad Loki truly feels. If he responds to your humor he is fine, if not you’d have reason for concern. 

Loki glares at you as he drinks the NyQuil. When he finishes and swallows he says, “You stated I was bad at cheering others up, however you are also awful at it.” 

You laugh. Loki is fine. 

“I’ve got to keep you on your toes, can’t have you losing your wits, if you did you’d be boring.” You fake pout at Loki who rolls his eyes at you.

“You are not awful at cheering people up, you are dreadful. Are you not supposed to say nice things to the sick?” 

“To anyone else, sure, to you? No.” You say with a shrug and smile. 

“I feel so special.” Loki deadpans causing you to laugh again.  

“Alright, I’m going to make you some broth and crackers, don’t leave your floor because you can get someone else sick.” You say making your way to the door.

Right before you leave the room Loki says, “I am sick, not stupid!” To which you smile.

When you come back you find Loki sitting in the living room with a book, the same book he had this morning to be exact. 

You set Loki’s tray of chicken broth and saltines on the coffee table and sit next to him on the couch. 

“What are you reading?” You ask him, seeing as he hasn’t taken his eyes off his book. 

“Trying to find ways to revert us back to our own bodies.” He says in a curious tone. 

“You don’t have magic though.” You point out to which Loki looks at you with a raised brow, very unimpressed.

“You are quite adept at pointing out the obvious,” He says, looking back at his book as you roll your eyes, “I would have to teach you how to do it.” He explains, flipping a page. 

“Eat. You’re getting grouchy, I’m assuming it’s because you’re hungry.”

“Or maybe it is the fact that I feel like shit.” Loki says almost thoughtlessly.

You let out a surprised laugh. That’s the first time you’ve heard him curse, at least in english. Loki glances at you with a smirk but sets his book down and grabs the tray of food. 

When Loki finishes his dinner over light conversation, you both head back to the bedroom, cuddling, of course, because Loki is starting to get tired again from the medicine. 

You lay with your back flat on the bed, Loki practically laying on you instead of the bed. You have your arms wrapped around him, holding onto your phone that you play with above Loki’s body. 

“Thank you...for carin’ for me.” Loki says softly, slurring again. His fingers draw random shapes into your upper arm. 

“Any time, my highness.” You say, the nickname slipping out involuntarily.

Loki makes a happy noise but falls into sleep quickly. You not far behind after you set your phone down. 

Tag list: @a-laufeyson​ @addicted-to-loki​ 

[byunbaekby]

Home (l.jn)

Pairing: Reader x Jeno Warnings: Language, loss of virginity, safe sex, alcohol use Summary: The story of your first love, which never truly ends for anyone. Luckily for you, Lee Jeno was the perfect first boyfriend. The struggle for you is trying to be perfect for him. Words: 11.6k

-

You had a thing for perfection. 

It was something that had been ingrained into you from the moment you were born, to an entrepreneur mother and a father who was a cardiac surgeon. As soon as you could walk, you were placed in dance classes and trained from that moment on. You had practically tried every playable club sport in Korea. In addition to these demanding extracurriculars, your parents also expected school to remain your top priority. 

It was a tiring life, trying to be perfect. But even so, even you yourself had learned to never settle for anything less than. 

The way you meet Lee Jeno is perfect. 

It was a rare weekend off for you, without swim practice or dance rehearsal to attend or an upcoming test to study for. You wanted to do something, free from the restraints and stresses of your overworked life—rarely were you ever able to simply let loose and enjoy the short vacation from school allotted by the weekend.

That is how you find yourself walking arm in arm with your best friend Heejin down the trails of the town’s harvest festival, an annual weekend-long celebration to welcome the oncoming Halloween holiday. There were booths manned by the local businesses, contests with sizable prizes, and games for the children to partake in. 

As you tread down the pathway with your best friend in tow, you close your eyes and take a slight whiff, relishing in the smell of nature and the breeze against your shoulders. One could never appreciate the idyllic simplicity of life until they were too busy to even breathe. “You really should get out more, babe. I feel like we haven’t hung out in forever,” you hear your best friend saying, her attention turned to the nearby booth selling churros. 

“You say that like it’s a choice, Heej.” You retort quickly, a simpering smile at your lips despite the fact that you know it actually is: it is simply you who overloads yourself with work. 

“No, it’s not, not with you and your busybody ways,” she replies with a laugh, tugging you along. “I just.. miss my best friend sometimes.” 

You sigh, a sharp juxtaposition to the festive mood of your surrounding environment. “I know. I miss you too, Heej. But.. we’re here, right? Let’s enjoy our time together!” Your response brings a grin over your best friend’s lips and immediately she nods, glad to have you back. 

The two of you spend the next hour filling your stomachs with sugary treats and playing games intended for children age ten and below. The hour is filled with laughs and grateful glances at your best friend, having been too long since the first time in a long time that you had experienced such carefree joy. 

You’re once again sauntering through the pathways of the festival when you hear Heejin’s whispered voice in your ear: “Dude, hottie at three’o’clock in the pumpkin patch. Look at him!”

Your best friend had always been a bit boy-crazy. So, you laugh and turn your attention in that direction, your grin dissipating as your gaze falls upon likely the most attractive male you’ve ever seen. 

You catch him mid-laugh, so his smile is the first blessing you witness. Teeth bared in a wide smile, his eyesmile is enough to make you melt, and you feel an overwhelming desire to match his smile. Once you get over your initial shock at the beauty of his smile, you’re able to take in the remainder of his appearance. His hair is dark, shaggy as it falls over his eyes slightly. He has a lanky build, though you can see the slight outline of muscled arms beneath the sleeves of his t-shirt. Said t-shirt is bright orange, a typically unsightly color, and from your distance you can make out the words. 

Oh, you realize. He’s a part of your town’s youth committee, dedicated to community service and other activities. This makes sense now, as you observe the way he smiles brightly while he helps a little girl pick out a pumpkin. He’s volunteering, you realize.

Your heart swells a bit, and you curse inwardly; it’s already happening. 

Before you can register it, Heejin is already tugging you by the arm to the enclosed area, where families can buy pumpkins to make their own homemade jack-o-lanterns. “What are you doing?” You whisper to her in surprise as she pulls you to look at one of the many piles of pumpkins.

“Nothing,” she responds with a knowing smile, feigning interest in the pile of orange squash. “Just getting a closer look.” Not so discreetly, she lifts her head and looks over her shoulder to where Pumpkin Boy is helping the little girl and her family check out, a hefty pumpkin on the father’s shoulders. 

“This is a bit too close… too obvious,” you tell her cautiously as she turns back to stare at the pumpkins of animated interest. It wasn’t that you weren’t interested in boys; you rarely had time for them, so much that your past flings were barely significant at all before you were forced to break up with them for the sake of your schedule. Now, having just turned seventeen, you had never had a serious boyfriend. If anything, you were wary of boys. Especially handsome ones like him, with a smile to melt a heart. 

“Okay, but would you look at him? Why can’t the guys at our school look like that?” She whines, already turning back to steal another look. “Oh- he’s gone.” Her voice is confused, and dejected. With curious eyes betraying you, you follow her line of sight to find that he has, indeed, disappeared from the table he previously occupied. 

“Can I help you ladies?”

The sudden deep voice takes you by surprise, and the two of you yelp as you jump in surprise, turning back to find none other than Pumpkin Boy himself, a friendly smile on his face. “Sorry,” he says, a deep chuckle leaving his throat next. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Were you girls looking for pumpkins?” 

For a moment neither of you say anything, until Heejin clears her throat and nods while trying to hide the unsettlement in her voice. “Uh, yeah, we were.. Recommendations?”

“Depends what you’re looking for,” he leans down to roll over a pumpkin, moving it into place from where it had fallen out from its display. “Small or big?”

“Small,” is her immediate reply. A small pumpkin would definitely be cheaper, and as he leans down to search for a fitting pumpkin you slap your best friend’s arm, confusion in your eyes. Was she seriously going to put down actual money just to talk to a cute boy? She was unbelievable, but that was why you loved her: where you were quiet and studious, Heejin was always upbeat and bold, something you wished more of for yourself. 

Pumpkin Boy soon stands straight again, and hands a small hand-sized pumpkin over to your friend with a thoughtful gaze, as though he truly cared about the state of the pumpkins he was selling. “What do you think about this one?” Without any disagreement she takes the pumpkin from his hands, already nodding. 

“Exactly what I was looking for!” She responds, causing you to roll your eyes in amusement. 

Though you thought he hadn’t noticed you, Pumpkin Boy turns to you. “And for you, beautiful? A small one too?”

His direct statement catches you off guard, and you swear your eyes widen as the air leaves your lungs. Did he just.. call you beautiful? You can almost feel Heejin’s excitement from beside you. Clearing your throat to mask your shock, you nod before replying with a small voice. “S-Sure.”

Immediately he is down again, searching for another small, hand-sized pumpkin to suit you. When he crouches to do his job, Heejin turns to you with her mouth open and her eyes full of elation, as though to say “He just called you beautiful!” You can practically hear it in her voice. 

He stands again, hands sporting yet another pumpkin, similar to the one Heejin currently nests in her hands. “What do you think?”

The sincerity with which he gazes at you causes you to nod. “Perfect.”

“Great!” He responds, starting to walk to the tables where you can pay for your items, your pumpkin still resting in his large hands. Though it cannot weigh more than five pounds alone, your best friend looks to you with an overjoyed look at the fact that he is carrying your pumpkin for you. “I’ll help you two ladies out at checkout then.”

You follow him to the checkout area, where he places your pumpkin on the table that he stands behind. He reads out your prices to you, and Heejin pulls out her wallet to pay first while you observe his side profile. From all angles, he is undeniably handsome. 

Then he looks to you, pulling you from your nervous stupor. With quick hands you pull out a paper bill from your wallet and hand it to him, which he accepts with a polite smile. 

“You’re all settled,” he tells the two of you, though he hands each of you a business card over the table, one in each hand. “I’m a part of the youth committee,” he explains as you each take the business cards from him. “We’re all in high school, and we’d love to have more members.”

With another heart-stopping smile, he thanks you for your purchase and bids you two goodbye. As the two of you exit the area with your pumpkins in hand (easily handled in only one hand), you bid a silent farewell to him, the handsome boy who you’ll likely never see again. If only, you wish, you were a bit more bold and unafraid. 

Goodbye Pumpkin Boy, you think to yourself as you look over the business card in hand. Your eyes bulge at the sight as you flip over the card to the blank side: Lee Jeno :) XXX-XXX-XXXX

You can barely keep the grin off your face as Heejin nearly drops her pumpkin, screaming in joy for you. 

-

Once you arrive home, you text him with Heejin’s encouragement. 

She complains half-heartedly that you don’t seem to be nearly as excited as she is, though she congrats you with an amused smile. In fact, your excitement is greatly hidden: you had never been the friend, between the two of you, to get boys’ numbers. Now that you have, a strange feeling of happiness makes its way into your chest. 

After Heejin leaves, you text him. New pet pumpkin tucked on the windowsill of your bedroom, you type his number into your phone meticulously, and send the first nervous text.

To: XXX-XXX-XXXX Hi, is this.. Jeno? I’m the girl from the festival.

You frown at the message. It is so bland, so uninteresting. Why had he been interested in you? You’re surprised, however, when your phone beeps only a minute later. 

From: XXX-XXX-XXXX Hey. Yeah, it’s Jeno :)

From: XXX-XXX-XXXX Did you make it home safe?

A smile bites at your lips as you quickly type a response. 

To: XXX-XXX-XXXX I did. Did you finish volunteering?

His reply is just as fast as yours, if not faster.

From: XXX-XXX-XXX Yup, we just finished putting all the pumpkins away. Heavy, those things.

You chuckle, sparing a glance to the pumpkin on your windowsill. 

To: XXX-XXX-XXXX Well thank you for your hard work. I’ll appreciate my pumpkin very much. 

From: XXX-XXX-XXXX I hope you do. 

From: XXX-XXX-XXX Listen, I’ve got to go but I’d love to talk to you some more. I’m glad you came to the patch today. 

Your mind runs over to earlier this morning, when you had greatly battled Heejin’s decision to take you to the harvest festival on your day off. Surely, you should learn to trust your best friend’s intuition more often. 

To: XXX-XXX-XXX Me too. I’ll talk to you later.

From: XXX-XXX-XXX Bye :)

You lean back in your bed to suppress the shy, overjoyed shrieks that threaten to leave your mouth and despite knowing full and well that his name is Jeno, you save his number under the name Pumpkin Boy. 

-

Over the next few weeks, you indeed learn that Lee Jeno is just as kind as his first impression.

You learn that his birthday is in late April, a few months preceding yours. Somehow he lets it slip that he too, has never been in a serious relationship. Through a thorough game of twenty questions over the phone you learn that he plays volleyball at his high school as the libero, drives a car older than him, and dislikes mint chocolate chip ice cream.

The ice cream part is enough to cause your mint-loving self to make a face, but not enough to stop your feelings from growing rapidly. 

It is the first time that you have freely conversed with someone besides Heejin without inhibitions or worries. Talking to Jeno comes so easily, no second thoughts. 

Though he attends a different high school than you, this doesn’t seem to hinder your conversations, and you find yourself always wanting to talk to him. He texts you good morning, and you respond. You text throughout the day between classes, and he sends you one last smile-inducing message before going into volleyball practice. You take this time to study, so that you can be free when he comes out. On days that you have rehearsal, you’re lucky that these after school practices for your dance team occur at virtually the same time as his volleyball practices. 

Since your meeting you’ve met only a handful of times. You went out once, to get ice cream (which was how you came to learn of his abominable opinions about your favorite flavor). The next, he invited you to watch him play a match at his school. You had been amazed then, at how this soft kind boy turned into a focused monster on the volleyball court. Then, you had met him for lunch, while telling your parents that you were meeting up with Heejin to study. 

You share your first kiss when he comes to play a volleyball game at your school. 

It is after the game has finished with your school facing an embarrassing defeat, and Jeno is walking with you down the open breezeways, that he kisses you. 

He presses his lips to yours softly, but not without asking for permission, at which your heart warms. Dropping his volleyball bag to the floor without second thoughts, he tilts your face slightly upward by the chin, meets your lips, and you swear your world stops. 

You’ve been kissed before, but never like this. It’s overwhelmingly, in every sense of the word, perfect.

Though he pulls away after a moment, you smile with only an inch between your lips, and pull him back to you. In that moment you feel an overwhelming joy down to your bones, and a strange power at your ability to initiate your second kiss. You feel weightless, yet there is an undeniable force tethering you down. It is Jeno, himself.

You realize then, this is what first kisses are supposed to feel like. 

When you finally pull away to gasp for air, you register his laughing and a quiet “Wow.”

When he walks you off campus and out to your campus, he intertwines your fingers together. Your hands slip effortlessly into each other, curling naturally as though they were made for each other. 

-

Three months have passed since you met when you’re laying in bed with only your bedside lamp on, hands hidden in your sweater as you FaceTime Jeno. 

On the other end, he is wearing a hoodie and grey sweatpants, placing you on his nightstand as he gazes at you from his bed.  He props his head up with his elbow, and smiles at you as you go on and on about your day. He peers at you with full interest from over his glasses, which you’ve seen him wear only a number of times. 

It’s a Sunday night, nearing 11PM, but you don’t tell Jeno that you have a calculus test you’re supposed to be studying for. For all your parents know, that’s precisely what you’re doing in your room right now. But it’s not. Rather, you’re enjoying yourself with a bright laugh as you listen to Jeno retell a joke that his friend Jaemin had made earlier in the day. 

“It was a lame joke,” you tell him once he finishes, leaving you in residual giggles. 

“Why are you laughing then?” He raises an eyebrow, though an amused smile makes home across his face. 

“Because you’re funny.” is your quick reply, covering your mouth with your sweater-covered hands. You simply cannot help the giggles that escape your mouth, a bright sound in the dull space of your room. Jeno simply has this effect on you; with only a smile or a lame joke, he is able to turn your dreary world into a place of carefree conversation and uncontrollable laughter. 

Unable to control himself at how you simply fall apart at his joke, Jeno mirrors your laughter, though the sound is much different than yours. His laugh is deep, and after months of hearing it you start to think that you could listen to him laugh forever. 

“You’re so cute,” he tells you once your mutual laughter has died down. At his sudden confession, you have the decency to smile, a warm feeling of espousement spreading through your chest. 

“You’re cuter,” you manage with a shy smile.

“Impossible.” If you were being honest, you were surprised at how smoothly Jeno delivered his sweet lines to you, considering his truth that he had never had a real girlfriend. It makes you smile now, thinking that perhaps like you were experiencing all these newfound emotions for the first time, he was too.

A moment of silence passes over you, though you don’t argue. You simply stare at each other, throwing strange ugly faces back and forth as you both attempt not to laugh. 

You lose when he makes an irresistible face, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Exploding into giggles, you lean back in your bed and let the laughter overcome you, though you keep it quiet so as to not alert your parents of your lack of studying. 

This was what you loved about Jeno. Never once did he make you feel that you were betraying your parents, for he always managed to make you smile in response. 

When you finally quiet down after a fit of laughs, Jeno’s voice is sudden: “Be my girlfriend.”

Immediately your eyes widen, and you look at him surprised. The look on his face is just as shellshocked, as though he didn’t know the words that came out of his mouth. He quickly recovers, smooth as always. 

“I really like you, Y/N. I like talking to you, and making you laugh, and hearing you laugh. I like seeing you all shy in your huge sweater, and I like the way you giggle when I kiss you. I like your mind, and the way you think, and even the way you think mint chocolate chip is the best flavor when it is far from the truth.”

His mention of ice cream makes you laugh again, pulling you from your shocked state. Only Lee Jeno himself would mention ice cream in a confession. 

“I really wanted to wait, until we were in person. But you’re so busy, and I know you try to make time for me but you still are. And you’re laying there, looking so cute in your sweater and laughing so adorably, and I just-” He stops himself, taking a breath. “I couldn’t stop myself.”

“Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?”

A warm smile makes its way across your face as you hug your blanket to your chest, as though you were hugging Jeno instead. “Yes.” You say finally, watching him break out into a bright smile at your response, sporting the famous eye smile that caught your eye in the first place. 

Some people desire large grand-scale confessions of love, public and outrageous. On the other hand, some people prefer such moments to be small and intimate. Most people just want their confessions to be in person, actually. 

But no, you decide that Jeno’s rushed and shy FaceTime confession is the best form, and the only one you want. It was perfect, and you could not imagine anything better. 

Later when you yawn too loudly and Jeno wishes you goodnight with a “goodnight my adorable girlfriend,” you change his name from Pumpkin Boy to My Boy.

-

Your first date after becoming official is not even a date, really. 

Jeno picks you up in his car, bids a nervous hello to your parents, and drives the two of you to the local library, where the two of you plan to study for your upcoming winter finals. 

With final exams breathing down your back, the only way your parents will let you out is if you promise to study. Jeno finds no problem with this, so a week after that heart-fluttering FaceTime call, you find yourself pouring over your books alongside your boyfriend.

You were still trying to get used to calling him that. 

What you didn’t need to get comfortable with was Jeno’s presence. Despite the majority of your conversations happening over the phone, you felt yourself slip into a comfortable silence with him as you both opened your textbooks. 

His hand rests comfortably in yours, fingers curled together as the two of you look over your study materials. The library is quiet, though filled with students. 

Though you try your best to focus, it is hard to stay so whenever you think about him next to you. He is wearing another casual t-shirt from the youth committee that you never ended up joining, and dark jeans with his glasses perched on his face. Without even trying, he looks effortlessly handsome. He constantly occupies your thoughts. 

“Stop staring,” he says, not looking up from his notes. You pout.

“How did you know?”

“You started rubbing your thumb over my hand and you only do that when you stop reading.” Your pout grows deeper as you continue staring at his side profile, shamelessly now. 

“I didn’t realize you were paying such close attention to me,” you respond while returning to your work with a sigh. There was surely no way you were going to be able to focus on physics and calculus with him right next to you. 

“Of course I was. Just not as obvious as you,” he laughs lowly, careful not to disturb the silence of the library. 

“Hmph,” is your response, as you begrudgingly turn the next page of your physics textbook. Oh, how boring simple harmonic motion is in comparison to the boy sitting next to you, who you’d much rather like to put your attention on. 

“You wanted to study, now focus,” he says next, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, leaving you warm with shyness. You simply don’t reply, just tightening your lips to prevent the proud smile threatening to spread across and returning your focus to your pages. 

“Ah, so cute,” Jeno coos as he turns back to his textbooks. 

Later when he returns you to your home he kisses you on the forehead and wishes you a quiet good luck on your exams. As he turns away and jogs back to his car, old indeed, you smile to yourself and think that this was the epitome of a great first date. 

-

Finally summer comes, and you and Jeno are able to spend more time together. 

Graduation has passed, both of you attending the other’s, and university awaits you. Though you and Jeno are attending the same university in Seoul, you know that this is the calm that awaits the storm. So, you take advantage of all the time this summer with the boy who has made his way into your heart. 

Sometimes you found it difficult to comprehend that you had made it through six months in a relationship with him, given your schedules and both your lack of experience. Yes, your relationship was a ride, but you would do it all for him. 

Especially now, as the two of you are connected in a liplock in his bedroom, you consider giving it all to him. Atop his bed, with him hovering over you with a kiss that makes your head spin, you feel for the first time a strong overwhelming desire. 

His tongue slides over your lips and you let him in easily, these lines blurred as your tongue meets his. You’re not unaware of his hands that grip your hips, and the fervor with which he presses his body to yours. Within seconds his warmth is gone, and you pop your eyes open to find that he has pulled away to rid himself of his shirt. A smile makes its way across your face, and the shirt is long forgotten on the floor somewhere when he meets your lips once again. 

Though the room is hot, you grow even warmer in the coming minutes as he presses his body to yours, your clothed cores meeting in a burning manner. Moaning into his mouth, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, begging for more friction. 

He moans your name in response and groans, about to pull away. It is not the first time, after all, that the two of your have cut your makeout sessions off short. 

You had discussed your virginities before, and had agreed that when the time came, it would be right. And to you, it felt right just about now.

“No,” you call out to him as he peels himself off of you and makes a move to get off the bed. Reaching to him, you grip him by the belt hook of his jeans, and pull him back atop of you. 

Gaining newfound courage, you bury your face into the crook of his neck, kissing the skin. “I want you,” you moan into him before beginning to suckle on an area of skin. 

You feel him tense in your hold, as though contemplating it, and he moans aloud. “Fuck, babe,” he curses as you pull away to reveal a pink spot at his neck, which will surely darken in the coming hours. 

“Are you sure?” He asks, breath hot against your skin as he returns the favor, lips and teeth playing over the sensitive pallor of your neck. Yes, yes, yes. A hundred times yes. 

You are sure there is nothing you’ve ever wanted more. 

“Yes, Jeno,” you respond as you tilt your head back in pleasure, though it leaves your mouth as more of a moan than a reply. Not needing any further confirmation, he pulls away (getting a whine out of you) and reaches over to his nightstand, producing a condom from the drawer.

“I wanted to be prepared,” he explains sheepishly at your look. 

“Whatever,” you respond, only reaching up to him to pull him back to you. 

And your first time is indeed, with Jeno, all you imagined it to be. 

-

The summer is a blessing. 

Over the next few months, you are able to learn about Jeno in an entirely new way. It is almost intimate, the secrets and quirks you discover about this boy of yours. 

You learn how to rile him up in a way that will surely end with him pinning you to the bed. You discover the spot on his neck that he loves you sucking on, and as he becomes increasingly daring in the progression of your sexual escapades, you come to find that no matter how rough he is in the act, he becomes the softest lover afterward. 

But you also come to learn about what makes Jeno, Jeno. 

You come to easily recognize the face that he makes when gaming, brows furrowed in concentration. Though he argues with you that he will watch whatever movie you want, you learn that he will almost always fall asleep in your arms whenever you turn on a chick flick rom com movie. You can’t even be mad at him, because you know he tried. As much as you told him it was okay to watch one of those action movies that he loved, he insisted on watching your movies, and that warmed your heart. 

During your first sleepover, you find that Jeno likes to cuddle in his sleep. Though the victim is most often his pillow at home, it soon becomes you which he clings to in his sleep. 

And when you’re not falling asleep in his arms, you do it to the careful sound of his steady breathing over the phone. It has become a routine now for the two of you, calling before bed and ultimately submitting to sleep together. 

These are things that you have come to love, as much as you love Jeno. 

It is what you have always desired in a relationship: the easygoing love, that didn’t ask for much. Comfortable, so much that he can tease you about how you snore and that you can smack him on the chest whenever he makes a dirty joke. So much that him in his pajamas becomes a familiar sight for you, and you learn to stop worrying over and controlling how you look around him. His love, in some ways, is like a blanket, enveloping you in all the warmth you need. 

Jeno makes you comfortable, and that’s all you can ask for.

One night, in early August, you are on the phone when he says to you, “It’s 11:11, make a wish.” Instead of listening to him, you make a face which he catches over FaceTime. 

“What’s with the face, missy?”

“11:11 is so.. ugly.” You respond, and he laughs, throwing his head back in that typical Jeno-style of his. Though you cannot explain any further, you get the idea that he knows what you mean. 

Jeno has, of course, come to understand your affinity for perfection, and your obsession with being the best, as instilled by your parents. Therefore he understands what you mean without asking for a further explanation. 

“It rubs you the wrong way, doesn’t it?” You nod. Though everyone claims it to be a magical time, you cannot help but feel that it looks off putting. Why 11:11, and not 10:10? It made more sense after all—ten was considered to be a perfect number, that’s why people say ten stars out of ten. The logic between 11:11 simply did not make sense to you. 

Jeno seems to know you better than you know yourself, for he says just this. “I’m sure something like 10:10 appeals a lot more to you, huh?” 

“How’d you know?” You ask, genuinely shocked as you tilt your head at him. Had you perhaps said your thoughts aloud?

“I’m your boyfriend. I know how you think,” he laughs matter-of-factly. At his laugh you pout a bit unknowingly, not sure how to feel at the revelation that he knew you just as well as you knew yourself. “Alright how about this. Let’s let the rest of the world be inferiors who make wishes at 11:11, but you and me will have our own special time. 10:10. Yeah?” 

The idea is stupid, but you find yourself nodding and smiling at the same time. Warmth envelopes you once again, and you come to realize that this is love you feel for him, strong, potent, overwhelming love. 

His idea was definitely stupid, but you were stupid in love with him. 

The next morning you trudge your way down the stairs after staying up all night on the phone, looking for breakfast. In the midst of your preparations you hear your phone ring, so you look to it. 

From: My Boy 10:10. I wish you’ll have a good day today, love. 

You look up to the clock displayed on the stove and find that it is indeed that time. You’re surprised, honestly, that Jeno has managed to remember, though you shouldn’t be. 

Yes, summer was a blessing and Lee Jeno was your’s. 

-

Fall approaches quickly, signaling your impending departure from your home and toward adulthood. You are more than excited for your new university life, something you have worked toward your entire life. 

And you’re more than thrilled to be doing it with Jeno beside you. 

While you’re a business major and Jeno is studying kinesiology, you will be in two completely different buildings but that’s okay. The fact that you get to attend college with your boyfriend, something that you had worried about in the early stages of your relationship, is more than enough. 

He helps you move into your dorm, and greets your roommate, Yerim. With his help you manage to unload the majority of your belongings, including many pictures of the two of you. Your roommate doesn’t miss the chance to point out your necklace, to which you smile. Jeno had gifted you a promise ring before the two of you left, and because you did not like the sensation of a ring on your finger, you had slid it onto a chain. It is with an admiring smile that Yerim comments, “You two must be serious.”

Yes, you are becoming an adult, and your love with Jeno has begun to mature. 

What you don’t realize, is that it could mature for the worse. 

-

College is busy, and you come to realize this. 

Jeno is still playing volleyball for the school team, and his practice schedule is much more demanding than in high school. Likewise, you have joined the school’s dance team, because you simply cannot give up your first love of dancing. 

You both have full school schedules atop extracurricular activities and part time jobs. So, it becomes increasingly difficult to plan dates, even study dates which had been your easy escape in high school. 

Now, the two of you lay in your bed at the dorm, relishing in the rare presence of each other. 

“How about Thursday, after your lecture?” He asks as he inhales your familiar scent that he had begun to miss. 

“I work on Thursday from 3 to 7.” 

He sighs, warm against your scalp. “Okay, how about after work?”

You make a face, though it’s hidden to him. “I have rehearsal from 8 until 11. How about Saturday?”

“I have a game.”

“Oh, right.”

“Won’t you come? You can come watch,” he says as he pulls his face neck, instead looking down at you. “It’ll be like high school again, remember?” This is said with a smile and a nudge, for he is no doubt reminiscing about your first kiss. 

You have to fight to keep the displeased expression from making a home across your features. Sure, you loved watching Jeno play, for he exerted a different energy on the court. However, you had a test on Monday and could surely use all the time you had to study for it. You had been willing to give up time to spend with your boyfriend, but if you attended the game you would only be watching him. If you were only going to be watching him and unable to interact with him until after the three hour match, then you’d rather take a raincheck until you are able to be with him in person. So you tell this to him, hoping that he will understand. 

He is Jeno, so of course he does. Simply offering a nod in response, he presses a kiss to your forehead. “Makes sense. You should study, anyways,” he says this though he wears a disappointed smile.

“Is something wrong?” You ask as you look up to him with worry in your eyes. 

“No,” he replies immediately with a shake of his head. “Nothing’s wrong, I promise. Don’t worry about me. I understand, babe.”

You know he does, because that’s what he’s best at: understanding you. He always has. And so you are not surprised that when Saturday morning comes, and you’re about to turn off your phone to enter the library, you see his text.

From: My Boy 10:10. I wish you good luck on your studying and your exam, my love. 

You smile at your boyfriend, ever so thoughtful, and quickly type a response back before tucking your phone away. 

To: My Boy Same here. I wish you good luck on your game ♡

-

The first time you do think something is wrong, is when you return to your dorm a little past 10PM after studying for your upcoming finals.

It is December now, and with your first ever college finals beginning to stress you out, you had invested in a little study group. Your boyfriend had texted earlier, asking when you’d be done; you had told him seven, but it had run a couple hours over. 

You are just about ready to jump in bed and text him, only to find him already sitting on your bed when you open the door. 

“Jeno,” you call, surprise clearly showing across your face. His eyes are not directed at you, but rather the bag of food that sits on your desk. You can read the label perfectly; it is from your favorite restaurant, about a thirty minute drive off campus. 

Had he gotten it for you, because he knew you were stressed and overwhelmed with finals? That was so sweet of him, not that you expected any less. “Did you get dinner?” You ask as you shut the door behind you, already slipping off your jacket to prepare to be in his embrace. 

“You said you'd be back at seven.” His voice is tired, but still remains an edge.

It occurs now to you that he’s angry. You two have had your fair share of arguments, considering Jeno was expressive with his thoughts and you had a tendency to ignore things that upset you. He’s angry because you’re late, and you sigh. 

“I know, but we got caught up studying. You know much this course has been stressing me out,” you reason with him as you open the bag, pulling out plates of your favorite meals. Though your stomach growls in pleasurable hunger at the sight, Jeno remains seated on your bed with a stern expression. 

“I’ve been here for hours. Couldn’t you have left early?”

“For dinner? I was studying, and my phone was turned off. I said I’m sorry, Jeno.” You reply sharply, getting quite annoyed with his behavior. Of course it was thoughtful of him to bring you dinner when you would have just settled on ramen, but he knew how you were when you were studying. Considering that you were taking nearly twice the amount of units as him, you thought he’d understand your workload. “If you wanted to have dinner together you could have just come find me at the library.” 

“No, not for dinner. For our anniversary,” he spits out bitterly, turning his gaze away from you. 

That’s when it hits you.

Your mouth falls open as your gaze at him; had you… forgotten your anniversary in the midst of your school-induced craze? There was no way. You would never. 

Immediately you pull out the calendar from your desk, and search for today’s date.

No fucking way. 

You had… forgotten your anniversary. A year ago today, around this same time, Jeno had shyly asked you to be his girlfriend over FaceTime. You had skipped studying to talk to him, and now, you had used studying as your excuse to forget such a monumental date. 

Guilt washes over you within milliseconds, and you’re grasping for him. As soon as your fingers touch his arm he stands from your bed, frustration and disappointment on his face. 

“Babe-” You call him, but he cuts you off. 

“No. All this time I was giving you the benefit of the doubt, thinking you’d come back with some surprise to make up for being late. But no, not only were you late, you forgot. Is your studying that important?”

You are at a loss for an answer, because you know that the immediate answer in your head will only upset him: Yes. Yes, of course your studying is your priority, as your parents made it so. But the question you had to ask yourself was, was it more important than your boyfriend?

The fact that you cannot find an answer upsets both you and Jeno. 

In a moment he’s already grabbed his hoodie and turned to leave. “Eat your dinner. Happy anniversary,” he calls bitterly behind him. Within seconds, he is gone. 

And you immediately scramble for your phone, looking to call him, text him, anything. You know Jeno, that he gets upset and simply needs time to cool down, so you cannot go after him. But when he calms, you know that he will look at his phone, and so you want to give him something to see. 

Your eyes fall upon the clock as you type your message, and though your anniversary is less than perfect, you hope that he will come back to you. 

To: My Boy I’m sorry. It’s 10:10. My wish is that you’ll forgive me.

And so he does.

-

Your freshman year of college is coming to a close, and you have yet to attend a party.

Everyone tells you that it is a rite of passage in university, but you have not been able to pull yourself away from your books long enough to even consider a party. All of your time is divided between school, dance, and Jeno. 

Jeno, on the other hand, being a part of the school’s official volleyball team, attends many parties. It is not so much that it is irritating or worrying, but he surely goes to enough parties that he begins asking you to come. 

You are packing up your dorm, tucking your decorations into a box when you receive a text. 

From: My Boy Hyuck is throwing a party tonight. End of the year stuff. Will you come? 

Lee Donghyuck is someone that you don’t particularly like. Though your boyfriend has befriended him through their mutual membership on the team, you dislike the fact that he is throwing parties nearly every weekend, urging your boyfriend to attend. You wish that Jeno would stop being so nice for once, and just say no. 

Much like you do. 

From: My Boy Please? It’s the end of the year. 

Glancing at the message on your lit up screen as you tape a box closed, you sigh. You had just finished your final exam hours earlier, and you wanted nothing more than to cuddle in bed with your boyfriend before you both headed home for the summer tomorrow. In fact, the last thing you wanted was to have to fight a hangover on the drive home. 

To: My Boy Not feeling it. I still have to finish packing. 

His reply comes immediately.

From: My Boy I’ll help you pack tomorrow. Come on, it’ll be fun.

To: My Boy Jeno, I said no. I’m exhausted and I want to finish packing now so I can rest. 

To: My Boy I’m not in the mood to party. 

You toss your phone onto the bed, and though it beeps quickly with his response, you don’t glance at it until you’ve packed away another box. 

From: My Boy Can’t you have fun for once? 

At his message your brows immediately furrow in displeasure and your fingers are quick in typing a response, growing increasingly annoyed by his badgering. 

To: My Boy Did you come to university to study or to have fun and fail your classes? 

It’s a low blow, for you know Jeno only failed his Intro to Psychology class because it was early in the mornings on the days after his volleyball practices past midnight. But it doesn’t mean you feel any less upset with him. 

From: My Boy Wow. Did you come to university to study until your eyes bleed and you forget your anniversary?

Another low blow. 

Your fingers move faster than your brain, and you send your response before you can even comprehend what you have written. 

To: My Boy Yes, I did. Go to your party. But don’t bother picking me up tomorrow. I’d rather crash than drive with your hungover ass. 

Once the weight of your words begin to sit on your shoulders, he responds, and you can almost feel his frustration. 

From: My Boy Fine. 

You don’t sleep that night.

-

You had asked your mom to pick you up from your school, and you were glad that she had not asked any questions regarding your original plans to return with Jeno. 

Rather, she shows up early in the morning and helps you load your belongings into the car. So early in fact, that when Jeno knocks on your door around noon, all he meets is Yerim who tells him you had already left. 

As much as you hate to admit it, there is a bit of satisfaction in your chest when Yerim texts you to tell you this. You had planned to leave at 10AM with him anyways, yet he hadn’t even woken up from his hungover stupor until near noon. It only goes to show that you had been right after all. 

Jeno was too much about fun, and you knew that was detrimental to him.

In fact, the two of you spend the first week of summer vacation ignoring each other. He texts you a few times, to which you give short responses. You do not pick up his calls, though you find trouble sleeping without the sound of his breath over the receiver. 

This is the longest you’ve gone angry at each other, and this fact does not escape you nor Jeno. 

You are already missing him so much, feeling that you’re missing an essential part of yourself, that when he shows up at your doorstep at 9PM one night, you immediately envelope him in your embrace. 

Your argument is long forgotten, until Jeno mentions it while you’re cuddling in your now mostly barren bedroom. Somehow, your nostalgic mind throws you back to last summer, to the nights you had simply enjoyed Jeno’s presence in your life and in your bed.

Though only a year has passed, you feel like a new person. 

“You know I love you,” his deep voice resonates in your ears, and you nod, your head on his chest. 

“And I’d never want to hurt you.” You nod again. 

“And you know I’m sorry.” You hum in response. 

“And it’s 10:10, so I love you more. And I wish that we can leave this behind us,” he says, referring to your week-long argument. In response, you nod and look up to him with bright eyes filled to the brim of pure love. 

“Consider it granted.” This is your reply as you press your lips to his, to the lips you have grown to love so much. On reflex, his hands come up to press at your hips, the body that he has admired in so many ways. 

And that night for the first time in what feels to be a long time, you make love. It is perfect, though your love isn’t always. It is a love you have both come to take for granted. 

-

The summer proves to be very different from the last. Something has changed, though you don’t know what. 

Though you and Jeno have made up, this doesn’t mean you see each other as much as you’d like, or that your schedules clear up for each other, or that you become more understanding of each other. You take a summer job at your mother’s business, which fills your entire weekly schedule from nine to five. Meanwhile, Jeno busies himself as the assistant coach for a boy’s youth volleyball team which practices every other day. 

The days belong to the world, but your nights belong to each other. Because your parents no longer care about the seriousness of your relationship with Jeno, they pay no mind to him spending the night, or you at his. 

Tonight it is his bed that you lay in, his chest pressed against your back as he holds you by the waist. As much as you have been arguing lately, finding excuses to avoid him whenever your words hurt each other, you cannot deny that in his arms, you feel safe.

You feel, no, you know, that whatever the world throws at you, you will be okay as long as you have Jeno. 

As soon as this thought occurs to you, you feel a strange emotion spreading across your chest, though it is not unfamiliar. There, his arm slung over your waist and his steady breath in your ears, you feel love seep through your veins and consume you. 

Jeno is your home. You know that. 

He is your person. The one person in the world who knows you for you. He accepts you for your flaws, like your overstudying, your habit of stressing yourself out, your desire for perfection. Jeno knows all these things, and accepts them. 

Whenever you make mistakes (and you have made a lot of them), he forgives you. He accepts you with open arms, though you had never even left his heart. And through this he has taught you to do the same for him. 

He laughs without hearing your punchline. He smiles for you without needing a reason to. He loves you, cherishing you as though you are perfect when you are far from it.

You know people all over the world spend their lives hoping for a love like this. 

“Jeno,” you call to him, your voice breaking the silence though you know he was nowhere close to sleeping. 

“Hm,” he hums in response, embrace tightening. 

“Why did you pick me that day? In the pumpkin patch. Did you… come to me because you liked me? Or… was it fate?”

Not that you had ever believed in fate. You believed that fate could only work so many miracles: as much as destiny lends a helping hand, one will get nowhere without hard work. Hard work was your relationship. 

He is quiet for minutes, but you know he is not asleep. 

Finally, he answers. “I came to you.”

“Why?”

“Because. I knew you were special.” You? Special was surely the last word you would use to describe yourself. As though sensing your confusion, he continues. “You stood out to me. In the crowd of hundreds of people, I found you. I felt that you were special, and in the end, I was right. You are special. You are so determined… so smart. Forgiving, loving, strong-headed.”

You turn and bury your head into his chest as he continues to shower you with compliments. Even after almost two years together, he could still fluster you this way. 

“I love you,” he finally says, a closing statement. He is good. He is too good to you, you think as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head. “Goodnight.”

You could never let him go. He is your perfect. 

-

Four months later, two weeks short of your second anniversary, you nearly do. 

You and Jeno are sitting in your shared apartment, the two of you having decided that you were ready to move in together. It had been a big milestone for the both of you, but you knew you were both ready. In actuality, you only saw each other so often in the apartment. 

He’d wake up first and go to the gym after leaving a kiss on your forehead, and by the time he came back, you'd already left for your 8AM lecture. The next time you would meet would be briefly for a shared dinner, between your two discussions and before his volleyball practice. 

Then you would slip into bed with him a little before midnight, having just returned from dance rehearsal. 

Tonight though, you had decided to skip on rehearsal. It has been a couple weeks since your last quiet night with Jeno, so you made a sacrifice, one he had been begging you to make for a while now. 

You know that Jeno misses you, just as much as you miss him. But the weeks are busy, and on the weekends Jeno almost always has games and events to attend. On occasions you join him, but you soon find them to be exhausting.

You much prefer these quiet nights with him, with his arms around you on the couch and a shared bowl of popcorn balanced between the two of you. 

Tonight, you are uncharacteristically tired. With finals coming up, you have been overworking your mind to the max, and with the additional stress of dance on your shoulders, you have been getting less than enough sleep.

This is why you find yourself dozing off in Jeno’s arms, your head on his shoulder as your eyes begin to droop. 

You love this. It is this comfort that you have long mentioned and adored. 

You love that you can fall asleep in his arms, and know that you will wake up safe. You love that he loves you enough to carry you back to bed when you doze off, and you love that he loves you.

You love him.

Just as you’re about to slip into the abyss of sleep, you hear Jeno sigh. 

“Seriously? You’re falling asleep?”

His annoyed tone makes you open your eyes, and you do so to find yourself facing his frustrated eyes. “Hm..?” You ask, voice still clouded with fatigue. 

His response only reflects his growth in vexation. “We haven’t had a night to ourselves like this in weeks. We’re only thirty minutes into the movie and you’re already falling asleep. Are you that desperate to be rid of me?”

His words trigger a response in you, and you feel a huff of disdain leave your lips. “I’m tired, Jeno. I’m exhausted.”

“And you think I’m not? I have more units than even you this semester, and I have volleyball to deal with. You think I’m not tired, but I suck it up to spend this time with you?” He unhooks his arm from around you and you frown, knowing he is both physically and emotionally retracting from you. 

“No one asked you to,” you reply angrily, feeling your annoyance grow by the second.

This seems to upset him the most, because he stands to his feet and begins to pace. You hate when Jeno paces. 

“Of course no one asked me to. You shouldn’t have to in a relationship. But lately it’s always, ‘Oh Y/N, won’t you please have dinner with me tonight?’ ‘Babe, can’t you stop studying for two minutes to cuddle me?’ ‘Can’t you skip rehearsal?’ I’m tired of always asking you to put effort in.”

His answer infuriates you and you stand to your feet as well, volume of your voice rising. “I did skip rehearsal for you. And I’m trying my best, didn’t I promise you once that I’d always give my best for you?”

He scoffs, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, because this is your best.”

“This is my best!” You retort, feeling angry tears well in your eyes.

This was not your Jeno. Your Jeno was understanding, accepting. He loved you for all your bullshit, everything that you gave to him. Now your indignation is valid; you don’t recall ever yelling at him, or even getting personally upset, whenever he had knocked out during your movie nights. The nights were he would argue and insist on watching a movie of your choice, only to fall asleep before the end.

You could have made a scene then. Could have yelled at him for being insensitive, and that you would’ve much rather watched a stupid action movie with him than watch a rom-com alone. 

But you didn’t. So it infuriates you that he has the audacity to complain, the first time you do what he does so often. 

“Well maybe your best isn’t good enough.” 

His answer stings, and hangs in the air, for you cannot formulate a response. 

Not good enough. 

Those were familiar words to you. 

You had heard it from none other than your parents for the majority of your life. As much as you loved them, they were to blame for your insecurities, for your inconsolable need to be the best. You would only be the best by working your ass off for it. 

You never would have thought you’d hear it from your boyfriend, who was supposed to love and accept you in all forms.

With sad, betrayed eyes you nod and scream back. “I know I’m not enough. I’ve never been enough. Is that what you want to hear?”

“No, it’s not. I want you to argue. I want you to fight back. You never do! You just let things happen, you just ignore them and think they’ll go away. You forgot our anniversary, and didn’t even chase after me. We got into a disagreement, one little disagreement, and you ran home without me.”

“Well fuck, Jeno, you’re saying you want me to be a mess?”

“No, I want you to fucking try for this relationship once. For once, I want you to pick me. Pick me over your stupid study groups, or your nights out with your friends when you barely even have enough nights for me. Pick me over your dance team, or studying, or any other stupid thing you have going on in your life.”

You glare at him, crossing your arms across your chest as he lists off the aspects of your life. “And you think I don’t try?”

He stares, and stares, and stares. You can practically see the deliberation in his eyes, hear his thoughts in your mind. This you can do because you know him, you have learned him from the inside out. 

But perhaps you have not learned everything.

“No. I don’t.”

Finally, your tears fall. Hot and angry, they leave wet trails down your cheeks which leave you feeling weak and hopeless. Crying is not weak, you know this. But crying means to you that you have run out of things to exert your frustration into, and this can only mean one thing. 

It is the end.

So you turn away, shuffling with quick feet into your shared bedroom, and slam the door shut, ignoring when he comes after you and knocks rapidly on the locked door. 

-

To: Heejin (◕‿◕) Hey Heej. I need you.

It has been weeks since you last spoke to your best friend. Because she decided to study abroad in Japan, you have since become somewhat distant. But she is the only person besides Jeno whom you can run to, though perhaps you are tired of running. 

A best friend indeed, she replies within seconds. 

From: Heejin (◕‿◕) What’s up babe? It’s so late, what happened?

With shaking fingers you write your response. 

To: Heejin (◕‿◕) I think

To: Heejin (◕‿◕) I need to break up with Jeno. 

It isn’t until you press ‘send’ that it hits you. Perhaps because you had written it into existence, but your anger becomes replaced with sadness.

Your Jeno.

Your first love, your first. You could not imagine ever letting him go, yet you had just admitted to it. When your phone vibrates, you can tell that your best friend is just as shocked. 

From: Heejin (◕‿◕) Oh honey. Call me.

-

An hour later you have gotten off the phone, and your tears have dried. 

You clasp at your bedsheets, though you find that for the first time in your relationship, Jeno has slept on the couch. This is the worst it has ever been, and you can’t decide what hurts more: the fact that you had come to this decision, or the fact that he had let you.

Heejin had spoken calmly in comparison to you. 

You had cried, you had argued with her, and you had denied the things she said. Because she was your best friend, she was not afraid to say things that would hurt you. Because unlike Jeno, she knew that you would love her forever.

She had helped you see the truth, and it had become much clearer now.

You and Jeno were no longer compatible. 

He had taken you for granted. He only saw you for your shortcomings, for the dates that you had skipped out on or forgotten. He did not choose to see the things you did for him.

Things like making breakfast for him before you left for your class, knowing he’d see it when he returned from the gym. Things like replacing his shampoos, because you knew he was too busy to notice it with the stress of volleyball running in his head. The little things, which required little thought to perform but a lot of thought to recognize.

You had agreed with her here. 

Then she told you the ways in which you had wronged him.

You had misunderstood him. No, she had told you, you had never even taken the chance to understand him. Rather than see that he simply enjoyed parties for the sake of freeing himself from stress, you saw him as irresponsible. You wanted to believe that him asking for your time was him being greedy. 

You had always expected him to understand you without saying anything, yet you could not even attempt to understand him even when he was saying it, asking you. 

What she had told you at the very end, as you were nearly crying into your pillow, was that you had mistaken comfort for distance. 

Because you had assumed that he would always be by your side understanding you, it was easy for you to stand him up for unimportant things like study groups and nights out with friends. Because he had understood. 

But being pushed to the side had become too much for him, when you began to abandon the great things, like seeing his team win the championship because you had rehearsal, or missing your first anniversary because you were studying. 

That was what had shook you to your very core. 

You had been pining, hoping for a comfortable, understanding love that you did not realize when this comfort that he had provided you turned into laziness on your part. 

And though you were angry at him, you knew that you should be just as angry at yourself. 

That night you fell asleep, and dreamt of a handsome young teenage boy in an ugly orange t-shirt, offering you a mini pumpkin and a lifetime of love. 

-

Your breakup went, as you would say, perfect.

You had both seen it coming, and so when Jeno mentioned it two days later, you were not shocked. Just because you had expected it though, doesn’t mean it hurt any less.

Because the house was in your name, he had left it, along with his key on the counter.

Within a weekend he had rid the apartment of his belongings, though he left your shared things behind. Your pictures, the hoodies that he had ultimately given you. Your promise rings.

It scared you almost, how calm the two of you were in the process. 

When he left, he gave you a tight hug, and whispered to you for the last time: “I love you.” Except this time, “I’m sorry” followed suit. Then a gust of wind and he was gone. 

It was amicable. There was little screaming, there was a polite goodbye. He was kind enough to leave his gifts to you, and to take the gifts you had given him, though you were sure they would soon be discarded. He had even had sense to make the bed before he left, and clear the bathroom of his toothbrush. 

Only Lee Jeno would be so thoughtful in a breakup.

And so as you fall to the floor with tears in your eyes and sob on your lips, you hate yourself for falling in love with such a kind, perfect man. 

-

A year passes. 

You are in your third year of university now, though you have moved out of your previously shared apartment and into a new, smaller one which occupies less space. You don’t need the excessive room anymore, with only one person.

Perhaps you have moved on.

Originally you had allotted yourself two years of time to let Lee Jeno leave your mind and your heart, that having been the amount of time you spent together. But sometimes, you truly feel that you have gotten over him. 

Because you had rarely seen him on campus even during your relationship, you do not run into him on your large campus. You avoid going to volleyball games, or any sports games for that matter. 

You even go on a few dates. 

First there is Huang Renjun, an art major who you meet when he accidentally spills paint on you. But no, he is too harsh with his words, you learn when he gives you the hell for cancelling last minute.

Then there is Kim Jungwoo, who you meet at the coffee shop off campus. He is a barista, but you cannot find more than attraction for him in your soul because he is not ambitious, he has no more dreams besides making coffee. 

You even find yourself sleeping with Lee Donghyuck once, but you quickly find that he is annoying and too brash, not like Jeno. 

Like Jeno. None of them are like Jeno, and that is why none of them stay. 

And so even though you tell yourself that you are over Lee Jeno, because you can give your number to strangers in the coffee shop and you can sleep with overzealous frat boys, you know deep in your heart, that you have never been close to moving on.

It hits you most when you are alone, especially late in night when you cannot fall asleep. And you remember what it was like to fall asleep in his arms, with his warmth and his breathing which brought a feeling of sturdiness. 

Especially tonight, you are in bed early when you think about the fact that today marks one year since he has left you. 

As poorly as your relationship progressed, Jeno has changed you for the better.

After your breakup, you came to realize your shortcomings. 

It was true that you never made time for anything in your life, especially not for him. You no longer wanted your significant other to have to beg for your time, and so you began to take more time for yourself.

Study less, not that you needed to study as much as you did. Breathe more. Take walks. Sit for an hour or two in the coffee shop without a goal. 

It slowed your life down. Jeno taught you this. 

And despite the tears that you spilled for him, he taught you how to love. 

He taught you that love was not perfect, as much as you strived for it to be. There would be bumps, there would be fights. There would be the pumpkin patch moments; those are the ones that make you feel on top of the world, as though your love could trump all. Then there are the moments of longing, where you haven’t felt the comfort of the other’s presence in what feels like millenia. There also exist times of peril, where you scream at each other and slam the doors in each other’s faces over who falls asleep in a movie. 

What Jeno has taught you, however, is that you have to make the pumpkin patch moments outnumber all the other negatives. 

He has taught you that like you have to work in life for a degree or a job promotion, you have to work for love. You have to chase after that person when they storm out. You have to calm down, and listen to the other’s words in a moment of anger. Sometimes, you have to forgive them, you have to acquiesce, as Jeno had often done for you.

And most of all he has taught you that you never forget your first love. 

Lee Jeno was the perfect first love. He had loved you carefully, with your best efforts in mind. You could not have asked for anything more.

Even if you can have other loves, you don’t want them. You want your first love, and you want him to be your last. You would start over with him in every single way if you could, except you would be better this time.

Even if this is not possible.

You would never be able to return to the way you were, to a bright-eyed boy with pumpkins in his hand and a shy quiet girl with too much ambition for her own good. You cannot ask for him to be the boy you first met, because you cannot fulfill that role for him either. 

But you don’t want to return to those days, as good as they were. You want to continue on your journey of growth with him by your side. You will never have the chance to now. 

Your phone rings from beneath your pillow. You pull it out, gaze at the message on the screen, and smile.

You had never been able to change his name after all this time. 

From: My Boy 10:10. My wish is for another chance to make you happy.

[macbetha]

below the cut, you'll find an interest check chapter for quatervois, a nancy drew pc fic. it's francy and also my idea of my absolute dream game. please let me know what you think and enjoy!

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After Ned breaks up with her and she loses her father, Nancy struggles to find her old vigor for detective work. While on vacation in London with Bess and George, Nancy accepts the urgent invitation to return Blackmoor Manor. Her English getaway quickly turns into an investigation once Nancy realizes the true reason Nigel Mookergee asked her back to the moors. Finding Deirdre Shannon at the manor under the same pretense only sets Nancy’s nerves further on edge. It isn’t until the Hardy Boys show up in Blackmoor that Nancy gets a glimpse of who she once was. With a manor full of suspects and a glass heart cracked open, Nancy is determined to find the truth.

Dear Ned,

How are you? It’s been a while. I’ve always started off my letters telling you about my latest case, but I’m not on one right now. I’m sure that’s hard to believe. Bess and George have whisked me away to London. I’m sure you would love it here. This is the first time I’ve seen Bess and George since I sold the house in River Heights. I stayed with Kyler and Matt in Ireland for a while. I needed a change of scenery. Their daughter just turned two. I’m somewhat jealous I’m happy for them. Anyways, I miss you I hope you’re doing well. I’m sure New York is lovely at Christmas time. I hope Stephanie is I wish Stephanie well How is Stephanie? I hope Stephanie is doing all right. I appreciated the card Stephanie sent when dad passed away. Warm regards, Merry Christmas, Love Nancy

She stares down at the letter as if the red ink were her own blood. It feels just as wounding, seeing her emotions made physical in the words on the paper. Only when a tear splatters on the page does she break free from her trance to the past. Nancy is the only person in her hotel suite, yet she works to rid the evidence like one of her own suspects. She pulls her feet up in the desk chair and crosses her ankles, holding the arch of her right foot – it recently became the victim of her latest culprit. Nancy’s foot got caught under the getaway car’s tire, and she is lucky to even be able to walk after the event. Months later, it’s stiff as hell with the most intense cramps she’s ever endured. Heart racing to forget the night it happened, she focuses on the snowfall out the window – counting little sparkles of snowflakes, though the world blurs when she squints. The doctor thought her failing sight as well as the daily headaches were on account of being hit in the head so many times.

She busies herself with choosing a postcard to send Hannah and Nancy selects one with a cat dressed up as a royal guard. The cuteness puts a smile on her face, however small – she hopes it’ll do the same for Hannah, but there is no telling. Nancy had the gut-feeling Hannah was lying about recognizing her the last time Nancy visited the nursing home. Torment swirls like wind to fallen leaves. She doesn’t have Hannah or Togo to come home to. Togo passed just before Nancy’s thirty-second birthday, and Carson fell ill soon after that. Nancy looks to her hotel bed where Mr. Woogle Woggle sits tucked between two pillows. It seems he is the only one that hasn’t left her. A knock on her hotel door reminds her that is simply not true. Nancy rights herself, fixing her posture to the stance of someone passionate, and she opens the door. Bess and George greet her with blazing smiles; Nancy gives silent thanks for their presence in her life. She would still be in Scotland with Kyler and Matt, had Bess and George not insisted to take her on a vacation. Nancy imagines that their insistence was due to them wanting to keep Nancy from spending Christmas alone on the road again like last year. “Nancy,” Bess stresses. “You’re never going to guess who we ran into in the lobby!” Horror strikes dull and loud in her ears. Surely, it’s not Ned. Please, don’t let it be Ned. George says, “Give you a hint: they were involved in one of your cases.” Nancy’s despair leaves her throat tight. She glances down the hallway, preparing to yank Bess and George into her room and dial her Cathedral contact to get them set up in witness protection.

“That didn’t narrow it down at all, George,” Bess says with a roll of her eyes. “Nancy’s been on hundreds of cases.” Nancy’s strain creeps into her one word: “Who?” Bess and George beam. “Maya Nguyn!” ++

Nancy follows Bess and George to the elevator in a hurried stupor. No thoughts can she conjure as she steps free from the elevator walls which seem to close in on her; Nancy marches into the lobby and notices a woman in the crowd of tourists. She stands with her back to Nancy, her hair drawn up in a bun, and her chin is lifted high with no time for games. Maya turns around and her bright red mouth stretches into a smile. “Nancy!” “Maya,” Nancy huffs in disbelief. She tenses in Maya’s sudden embrace before all but falling into it. This is something good I did; Nancy cherishes with shut eyes. This is someone I helped. When Maya pulls back, Nancy says, “What are you doing all the way out here? You said in your last letter, you were still in Washington.” “My house is technically there,” Maya nods. “But I get to work on the road more these days.” Her brows crease over a sympathetic smile. “Bess and George tell me you’re kind of in the same boat.” Nancy shrugs, struggling to hold Maya’s concerned gaze. “It’s just easier,” Nancy lies. Maya seems to see right through it, but she doesn’t speak on it. Nancy will have to thank her later. George says, “Maya offered us free tickets to a play she’s reviewing tonight and get this – it’s at the Globe Theater!” “Remind me what’s so special about a globe theater,” Bess sighs, checking her nails. “Not ‘a’, Bess, the.” George shakes her head. “The Globe Theater – well, technically it’s a reconstruction of the first one, but it’s where Shakespeare wrote his plays.” “It’s the opening night of a new play,” Maya explains. “And Nancy, you’ll never guess who the star is.” Nancy cannot take anymore guessing games. “Brady Armstrong.” Maya blinks. “Well – yes, actually.” Nancy frowns. “Wait, really?” “Yes,” Maya laughs. “I’ll be conducting an interview with him after the show if you want to go backstage and chew him out for all the stunts he pulled back in the day.” A spark of vigor heightens Nancy’s senses. That doesn’t sound bad at all. Still – “Are you sure we won’t be a distraction or –” “Nancy.” Maya’s hand falls on her shoulder. “You saved my life. You’re the furthest thing from a distraction.” Gratitude floods her before Nancy nods. “All right, then.” +++ The walk to the Globe would be depressive what with the sky being the color of a soaked napkin, but the Christmas decorations lift everyone’s spirits. Nancy limps by a shop playing Christmas oldies through the open door and she is borne back to her father listening to records over cocoa on Christmas morning. She tries to push the memory from her mind, then she thinks of building snowmen with Ned and having snowball fights that turned into the sweetest kisses she’s ever received. The music won’t stop. There are three Christmas trees in the display window and their flashing lights strike pain behind Nancy’s eyes. She pants through a sensory overload before someone squeezes her hand. Maya smiles in understanding as Bess and George walk obliviously in front of them. “It’s hard,” Maya says. “This life on the road. You pick up a few habits.” Nancy squeezes her hand in thanks before tucking her own in her peacoat’s pocket. “I want to enjoy this,” she admits quietly. “But I think the holidays are always hard.” Maya nods. “It won’t be this way forever, Nancy,” she promises. “I’ve got my fingers crossed for you.” Cross your fingers, there’s a story behind this door! Nancy swallows around the lump of panic in her throat. She plasters on a smile. +++ The theater is packed with noise and touching and all-around boisterous patrons. They find their seats in the crowd and Nancy doesn’t watch where she’s going – she must keep her eyes on the open ceiling to remember how to breathe. She sits down at the end of the group and Maya passes out programs. Quatervois, the title reads. Bess says, “What does that mean?” “It means you’re at a crossroads,” Maya says. “A turning point.” “Sounds a little dramatic,” George grumbles. Nancy traces the swooping lines of the title with

her thumb, repeating the process until the lights go down. The masked chorus emerges from the shadows and gives a synopsis: Down from Olympus a great hero emerges, Mighty in his strength and courage! A choice he must make Shall he ignore fate? Will he choose love, Or follow his destiny there-of? When Brady saunters on stage in an impossibly short silk chiton, it’s an out-of-body experience for Nancy. He still hasn’t grown his ponytail back, so Simone could very well be in the audience right now. Nancy rubs her aching temple at the thought. Brady begins his journey as the character Diogenes, a demigod that was supposedly – according to the play’s plot – written out of ancient Greek mythos. Diogenes must defeat those who want to leave him forgotten in history, lest he admit that he can’t win this fight and live his life like everyone else. Nancy assumes the play’s ending too soon. She imagines this will be a droll experience written only to paint Brady as a glorious hero that can conquer anything – but she is quickly surprised. Brady is stabbed in the final act and addresses the audience in a wail: And so my story ends a breath too early, No time to even be weary! The moon shall pass over my corpse, And the sun will beat down on my ashes with no remorse. Today, I have failed my quartervois Alone, forgotten, and lost. When the curtain falls, Nancy’s mouth is parted in disbelief as a tear burns down her cheek. They don’t receive a proper goodbye with Maya since the rest of the crowd is bustling toward the exit. She does have time to say that Brady is producing a new television series and will be scouting some locations further into Essex; Maya will be following the film crew there for test shoots. She embraces each girl individually and holds Nancy for a beat longer, whispering, “You’ll call if you need to talk?” “Of course,” Nancy says by impulse. “Same to you.” +++ Nancy is proud of herself for going out, but when she closes the door to her hotel suite, her back thunks against the wall and she must take deep breaths for several minutes. She decides to treat herself to a bubble bath even though it’s nearly midnight. She rolls her hair up into a bun and looks at it in the mirror, how haphazard and messy hers is in comparison to Maya. Nancy isn’t jealous – but she can’t help but notice when people are thriving. She wants to figure out how to do it herself and hasn’t found the cure yet. The bath is claw-footed and deep. Nancy sinks into the steaming water before goosebumps rise on her arms, and her freckled skin blushes in the heat. The water does wonders for her foot. She eases her head back on the lip of the tub and nears a light doze when her cell phone rings. It rests atop a stack of towels by the tub. Nancy wipes her damp hand off before looking to the screen. Frank Hardy. Nancy answers and taps the speaker button to relax back in the tub. “Hey.” “Hi, Nance,” Frank says, his voice a familiar balm after such a stressful time. “What’s going on?” “Things aren’t too different from last week’s call,” Nancy smiles. “But I’m on vacation with Bess and George.” “Oh wow! That’s awesome. I hope it’s been fun.” Nancy’s glazed eyes blink. “Yeah,” she rasps. “It’s nice.” She clears her throat, searching for her old enthusiasm. “But what about you? How’s Joe?” “Same as usual, a pain in my ass.” Nancy chuckles before a distinctive lift raises Frank’s voice. “We’re actually getting ready to get on a plane for a case – but I wanted to make sure everything’s good with you.” Nancy’s hand closes in a fist on her raised knee. “Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve been on a case.” “Not really. You just took a few months off to stay with Kyler, right?” “Yeah, but that’s the longest I’ve ever gone without a case since I started.” “I’d give you ours if I could,” Frank says. “Really not looking forward to such a long plane ride. Oh, they’re calling for our gate – but do you want me call you when I land?” Gratefulness is a warm glow in her heart. “No, that’s okay – but

thank you. Be safe on your trip and tell Joe I said hi.” “Can do.” Frank pauses. “I – tell Bess and George I said hi.” “Can do,” Nancy repeats. She chews her lip. “See you soon?” She feels foolish for saying something when Frank is headed to a case. While the weekly phone calls have kept Nancy sane, it would be even better to see the Hardy Boys. “I’ll make it happen,” Frank promises. “See you, Nance.” After they hang up, Nancy struggles to get out of the tub with her swollen foot. She gets into a pair of sweats and wraps up some ice in a washcloth, then holds it against her foot. Nancy mulls over her conversation with Frank, wondering how much of her poor mood could be due to not solving a mystery. With a deep yawn, she tosses the soaked washcloth in the wastebasket, not able to walk to the bathroom to put it in the sink. She cuddles up to her teddy bear and flicks the lamp off when her phone rocks to life on the nightstand. Bewildered, Nancy turns the lamp back on to look at the screen. The number is unknown; she sees her hand tremble around the phone. She lets the call go to voicemail before the phone vibrates to life once again. Bracing herself, Nancy answers. “Hello?” “Yes, hello – I’m trying to reach a one Nancy Drew?” The voice is British and eerily familiar, like Nancy heard it in a dream. “This is she.” “Splendid! Oh, you wouldn’t believe the trouble I’ve gone to in order to find your number.” “Sorry? Who is this?” “Why, Nigel Mookergee. We met at –” “Blackmoor,” Nancy whispers. “Nigel, hi. What’s going on?” “I’m afraid the manner of my call is not a jovial one,” he says. “How should I explain this? Well, I suppose from the start. You see –” He sighs. “Don’t tell anyone I’m speaking of this, but the Penvellyns have fallen into a bit of… financial trouble.” Nancy says, “’Financial trouble’?” “It’s certainly not my business to spread, but yes. It’s not that they are a poor family by any means, but one diplomat’s salary is not enough to keep up a castle.” Nancy sits up, grabbing a pen and notepad from her bedside table. She jots as Nigel continues. “The Penvellyns began to host historical tours at the manor – much to Mrs. Drake’s dismay, I might add. Jane wishes to expand the business to the paranormal side of things, and I don’t quite agree with the idea myself, but she insists it’s just what the manor needs.” Nancy finishes scrawling and says, “So, you’re working for the Penvellyns now?” “Yes. I’m afraid there’s been some situations – inconsequential events, if you will – that need a glance over.” Nancy arches a brow. “You mean an investigation.” “Ah, such a serious word. I simply want to make sure we are fully prepared to expand the business.” Nancy’s eyes narrow. “Right. When would you need me there?” “As soon as possible -” Nigel catches himself. “I mean, at your earliest convenience.” Nancy glances over her notes, running her hand over the page filled by red ink. She closes her eyes against the sight and says, “I’ll be there tomorrow.”

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