#this made me think of that time in elementary school when I wrote a whole essay about da vinci but kept writing dicaprio

[ikeuverse]

SLOW DOWN — s.jaeyun

CHAPTERS: prologue | chapter one | chapter two [...]

PAIRING: illegal!jake x fem!reader  GENRES: angst, smut, fluff  WC: 2.8k+

WARNINGS: swearing, weapons, knives, blood, illegal things in general (drugs, racing, alcohol). smut will be added in the next chapters, physical and verbal fights.

SYNOPSIS: working for your father, a mafia boss, wasn't a bad thing for jake. the worst thing was losing you, and he would do anything to win you back.

NOTES: i was listening to the song by chase atlantic, which is the title of this fic, and this scenario with jake just popped into my head. i wrote this part as a taste of what's probably to come. i hope to continue writing it, but first, i want to know what you, my readers, think of it since it's something i like to write about (mafia and all) and with jake being my utt i honestly felt my mind expand. tell me if i should continue or just delete it, please. i hope you like it!

TAGLIST: i've never done this, but lmk if you want to be tagged — mentions in the first chapter (already in the link above)

masterlist

The smooth taste of the cherry liqueur you were drinking was enough to relax your whole body. Smiling slightly at your best friend Chloe, chatting about trivial things in life. She was the one person in your cycle who made everything seem a little more normal.

Chloe was responsible for making you forget that you were part of a mafia family and that everything around you was linked to guns, blood, illegal things, and dirty money. She disconnected you from that world where you were there out of obligation.

"We need to go out sometime" Chloe finished off the liquor in her glass, lifting her body to pick up the bottle and refill it "How about the new nightclub that opened in the next town?"

You thanked your friend when she also wanted to refill her glass, letting the liquor run halfway down and then drinking a little more.

"I guess we could do that" you replied, thinking of ways to try to convince your father not to send a bouncer for you and her. It was unnecessary, but it was also a wasted conversation knowing that he would only let the two of you go out on that condition.

Luckily, your best friend had already gotten used to it, not least because living with you since elementary school had brought her all this knowledge little by little. You were immensely grateful that she didn't abandon you once she knew the whole truth, which is why Chloe has remained your best friend to this day.

"Then we can go to a convenience store and get some ice cream to try while we're still drunk."

The genuine laughter you two shared was the fuel you needed whenever something was heavy in the house. You had to call Chloe if only to stay in your room, in the office assigned to you, or anywhere in the house after hearing men walking around, your father fighting with someone or running around which – unfortunately – you witnessed every time.

It was exhausting. You also knew that there was no point in trying to run away or asking your father to disown you. He wouldn't be able to do you any harm, but he would probably keep you isolated, trapped in some lake house he had as a hiding place, and get you out when you thought better of it. If you could think about living a normal life or continuing your family's mafia.

"Knock, knock" the sound of the door knocking combined with the voice that imitated it brought you out of your thoughts and straight to where you needed to be.

Heeseung's smile was infectious, you always smiled when you saw your best friend. But not when he walked in with his head down wherever you were, his clothes covered in blood and his hands behind his back.

"What the fuck happened now?" you sighed loudly enough, dropping your glass of liquor on the coffee table between you and Chloe.

"Hi to you too, y/n" he finally raised his head, smiling at you again after looking away to his best friend "Hi, babe."

"Heeseung" Chloe raised her glass as a silent toast, ignoring the fact that the nickname she knew was only meant to annoy her. You'd make fun of the two of them if it weren't for your best friend's current situation.

"Where does all this blood come from?" you stood up from your chair "What the fuck have you all done now?"

Hesseung wiped the remnants of blood from his hands on his T-shirt, sighing in the process as he thought about what to say to you.

He was nervous. Lee Heeseung was visibly nervous and you knew that was almost impossible to happen. Come on, the guy in front of you who you called your best friend was one of your father's best illegal racing drivers, he'd been through so much shit on the track, how could talking to you be so bad? That only happened when...

"We need your help" he said at last, biting his lower lip to stop himself from shaking in the process. The boy's eyes searched for yours and, as soon as they were found, he let out "Jake's hurt..."

You froze at that moment, completely shutting out Heeseung's voice as he passed on the information. Chloe noticed, so she listened carefully in case you asked her later what had happened.

Jake's name together with the hurt, adding the blood that was on Heeseung... It all came together in one way and made you follow him wherever your best friend was going.

It was these moments that pulled you back into the life you had, reminding you that your family was part of the mafia and that you, consequently, were part of it too. The most obvious condition your father found to keep you in the business was that you did something that could link you to the surname for the rest of your life. Not as a bastard, because he wouldn't let you walk away easily.

So the only way was to get a degree in nursing, study medicine, and anything else that involved taking care of the wounds of the men who worked for your father. If you were constantly injured, shot, stabbed, or anything too suspicious, the hospital would surely call the police, and a big interrogation would begin. Your father wanted to avoid all this, so getting you involved at least on the good side made you feel less bad about it.

"Finally" Sunoo almost shouted with happiness as you turned the corner of the corridor behind Heeseung, along with Chloe by your side who kept an eye out in case you fainted from being so nervous.

They all looked the same as Heeseung, which made you wonder if Jake had lost a lot of blood or if it had gotten really bad.

"What happened?" you asked again.

"We went to accompany some of your father's men" Jay was the only one sitting down, his elbows resting on his knees. Taking his head between his hands, which were the same as Heeseung's, he looked at you "They set up an ambush, we had to defend ourselves."

You hung up again while Jay continued talking, relaying events to Chloe, who seemed almost like your private secretary.

Your eyes searched for Heeseung and he just nodded at you, then nodded towards the door opposite where Jay was sitting. That's where Jake was. And that's where your father kept a private infirmary, which you affectionately called his workroom.

Opening the door, two of your father's men were standing next to the gurney where Jake's body lay. You didn't look too far in his direction and just approached the sink to tie up your hair and sanitize your hands. Without realizing how much you were shaking at the thought of the worst, especially with Jake.

Why did you feel that way just hearing his name?

Get over it. Forget it.

The voice screamed in your mind as you turned to walk to the stretcher and join the men.

"Jake, dude" Heeseung called "She's here."

A brief moment of silence before Jake's eyes opened, looking at each of the men until they stopped on you. A faint smile on his dry, opaque lips, his eyes squinted.

"My private doctor" he forced a laugh, groaning in pain and placing his hand on his abdomen.

That's when you realized, the blood was coming from there. A cut that tore through Jake's T-shirt, piercing the skin. You couldn't tell how serious the problem was because it all looked like a big mess.

"Let's leave you two alone" Heeseung rested one hand on the side of Jake's head "Don't scare us anymore, your motherfucker" he slapped his friend on the back, turning to you "We'll be at the end of the corridor if you need anything."

You couldn't answer, only nod as Heeseung took the other two with him, leaving you and Jake alone in your room.

"I..." you sighed, closing your eyes and pushing away any thoughts as you went back to looking at the wound in front of you "I need you to take off your shirt, I have to clean it."

Without looking Jake in the eye, you grabbed his hands to help him sit up enough to take off his shirt. Turning to get the products you needed to use and clean it, would give Jake time to remove the shirt that was getting in the way of the whole process.

He, for his part, felt every discomfort and pain coursing through his body as he moved his arm to take off the shirt that had already been lost the moment they tore the material with that knife. That damn knife that had left him like that.

Throwing the shirt anywhere on the floor, Jake sat waiting for you to turn towards him and, as soon as you did, he could see your shocked expression.

"What?" he looked at his own body, then looked in your direction "It's nothing you haven't already seen, touched, kissed..."

"Shut up, Jaeyun!" you wanted to convince yourself that all the burning in your face was from anger at the words you were hearing, and not because you felt embarrassed about it. Why did he have to talk such nonsense?

You didn't have to ask him to lie down, Jake got the message as soon as you got near the stretcher with the absorbent cotton and saline solution. He inhaled a good amount of air and held his breath while you cleaned his wound. It didn't sting like the other times, but he could feel his skin burning with the touch of your fingers on it.

Jake could have sworn he'd burn up if you continued with all that delicacy on him.

"It wasn't deep" your voice caused him to let out a breath, groaning in pain as a little pressure was applied to a spot on the wound "I'd venture to say you moved away quickly enough before plunged the knife into your abdomen."

"You know I'm fast, don't you?" Jake was a fucking idiot with his double entendres, you knew it was pure provocation "Why did I bleed so much?"

Thank God he changed the subject, or you'd have opened that cut yourself.

"Because it cut through the epidermis, it just missed the dermis. That would have been a bit worse and I don't think I'd have brought you here."

"I'm glad they did" for the first time since Jake and you were alone in that room, you could hear the sincerity in his voice. Something that rarely happened.

Your eyes went up from the cut to Jake's face, seeing that he was already staring at you. Without saying much, you concentrated on making the dressing as comfortable as possible so that he could feel more comfortable as he left the room.

As you wrapped the bandages around his torso, his voice echoed in your mind like a relentless demon. It wasn't anything you hadn't seen, touched, kissed... Enjoyed every time he found himself in your room. In your bed.

The thought of a time when you and Jake were together was the last thing you wanted to think about. It had been a long time and that couldn't be part of your thoughts, even if it was sabotage because every day, all the time you looked at him, your mind wandered to the exact moment you two kissed for the first time.

Or how he held you for the first time and every touch on your skin made you boil.

"Thinking of me?" his voice was so vivid that you had forgotten you were still in his presence, with your hands resting on Jake's chest and the bandage already finished.

Sniffling, you straightened up and turned away from him, gathering up the remnants of the things you'd used so you could throw them in the garbage can.

He said nothing, getting up from the stretcher with some difficulty while still looking at you.

It was a lose-lose situation to do that, but Jake simply couldn't let the opportunity he was having slip away. So he walked towards you slowly, as best he could because he could still feel the wound pulling at his abdomen. He got close enough as soon as you turned to face him, a thin scream bursting from your lips from the fright, but soon calming down when you found his eyes resting fixedly on yours.

"Y/n" he whispered.

"Jaeyun, don't..."

"Listen to me, please" the request sounded more like a plea, and you lost count of how many times Jake did it, but he could never finish because you always ran away.

And you wanted to run away again.

"What do you want?" you asked, almost regretting it when he answered, unashamedly.

"You back to me."

He had to be a talker. Jake needed to have that idiotic power over you with anything he said. It was extremely unfair that someone had been born and put into your life just to leave you speechless and steal your heart.

Your sigh was a silent answer that he could come a little closer, and with slow steps, Jake did. Just enough so that he could lean his body against yours only as far as his bruise didn't make contact.

Jake's hand quickly reached for your cheek, forming a shell between it and your face to hold close enough to his.

"Please, I need you back" Jake leaned his forehead against yours, his warm breath beating against your cheek.

Your hands were trembling as one of them touched his arm, while the other went carefully to the opposite side where Jake was hurt. The touches kept his balance and kept him close too.

"Then answer me" your voice was at the same pitch as his, avoiding any louder sounds that might scatter the two of you.

Jake knew what you meant, he was fully aware of it. He'd been asked that question so many times, that's why he knew he wasn't in your life as your boyfriend.

"Y/n, you know I can't..." he began.

"Me or these dangerously idiotic missions of my father's?"

Jake closed his eyes, pressing his forehead a little closer to yours.

"Y/n..."

"You can choose to race with Heeseung, stay in tech with Niki" your voice began to choke and Jake felt that it was hurting more than the cut on his abdomen. He knew it was all his fault.

"But it gives me a lot more money, and..." he sighed, looking straight into your eyes "You know what I'm putting any money towards. Please..."

"Is it money? For God's sake, Jaeyun, I can help you..."

"No!" Jake said sternly, but not rude enough to scare you. He'd never managed to be rude to you since he first met you "I can't accept it. That's my problem and—"

"I thought your problems were mine too."

That phrase was strangely familiar. Jake knew he'd heard it somewhere before, he just couldn't think where when you turned away from him at the same second as the knocks on the living room door were heard. Making you both step back.

"Mr. Jaeyun? Miss y/n?" one of your father's security guards had his head between the doors, looking in your direction. You waved so that he could enter "The rest of the guys are waiting for news, if you could…"

"Of course" you smiled at him, thanking him not only for the information but for the interruption because you knew that another argument was probably on the way "Come on, we need to go."

"Y/n, I—"

"The guys need an update from you" without going any further, you turned away from Jake and waited for him to get ready to leave the room.

You knew it was bad to do this anyway, but there was no escaping it. Being tied up with your family's affairs meant moments like this, but they weren't all bad. Taking care of the people who worked for your family was just a way of saying thank you for them – unfortunately – risking their lives.

But when it came to Sim Jaeyun, you knew that everything was intense. Even more so as the whole story of the two of you played through your mind like a movie on repeat.

All the times you and he had been together, all the moments the two of you had shared until the final fight.

Which Jake was trying, at all costs, to reverse. Because it was as he had told you a few minutes ago, he wanted you back. You just didn't know what Jake was capable of.

© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 11 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 12

Making the scrapbook was cathartic. Remembering the good times, the innocence of your childhood, was as much of a joy as it was painful. The pictures were all quite good quality since Abuela had had a film camera. Some photos had been taken with a digital camera, which had probably originally belonged to the Georges and ended up in your possession somewhere along the way.

Regina and yourself playing in the Georges' backyard and swimming in their pool, beaming smiles directed at the camera. You could almost hear the laughter. I miss when we used to be able to just have fun together like this. I guess it's a part of growing up.

Regina in a white frilly dress, carrying a small basket of flower petals, donning a crown of roses on her head. She was pouting, clearly unimpressed by the whole thing. You hadn't been at the wedding since it was a George event, but Regina's mom had been so elated her daughter had gotten to be the flower girl. I remember I was so jealous you got to go to a wedding and I couldn't. You hated it, though, which was funny. You used to leave the room whenever your mom insisted we watch the tape. I wonder if she still has it.

You sitting with Regina, hip to hip, on plastic chairs while a newlyborn Kylie slept in your laps. Regina, eyes stuck on her baby sister and a thoughtful look on her face, while you looked at the camera with a smile. She's growing up so fast. Don't think I don't know you care about her. There's gonna be a time you'll regret not spending time with her. I already feel it.

Mrs George, Abuela, Regina, Kylie in her mom's arms, and you grouped together at a parking lot. You and Regina had on little graduation gowns and had scrolls in your hands. Elementary school graduation. The summer before middle school. End of an era. I love your mom's clothes, they're so nineties. Does she still have those jeans? You should get ahold of them before somebody else does...

Remember when I sliced my hand open when we were peeling apples? That was a time for sure. I still have the scar!

You taped pictures onto the pages, wrote little things here and there, hoping the labour of your love wouldn't end up in the garbage. Or if it did, Regina would read skim through it first.

I think this album was the first time we agreed on music. Britney Spears really brought us together, huh? We even learned the choreography of Baby One More Time. Mrs George loved it. I bet there's a video of that somewhere.

Mostly the scrapbook was filled with anecdotes about your childhoods together. You did write a letter of sorts on the first page, regarding your intentions with the whole thing.

I made this for you to commemorate the good times we had. You know me regrettably well, so I think you know how I tend to hold onto things. I still have that gaudy pink Build-A-Bear you made me for Valentine's Day that one time. It's one of my most important possessions, only second to the memories we have together. You'll always be a friend to me, Reggie. If not forever, or from now on, then back then. I love you. Yours, Jorts.

You'd pretty much finished the whole thing by the end of the weekend. You spent Monday and Tuesday decorating the front cover, mostly because you purposefully put it off. You cut out letters from magazines and glued them there, painstakingly forming the words Reggie & Jorts. You'd tried to come up with something clever, but making a pun or a dumb joke felt like cheapening the whole album. A simple name made up for with fabulous decorations!

You weren't much of a painter, but you figured it'd be fitting if the album reflected its contents. It was fine if the roses you painted looked like a five-year-old did them. A good majority of the pictures featured you and Regina huddled around a crafts table, similar projects scattered all around you, young with clumsy hands but filled with artistic passion.

The album in itself was an earthy green colour, something Regina undoubtedly found ugly. The flowers brightened it up somewhat, but there was only so much ages-old acrylic paints could do. You outlined some with Sharpies. If you didn't know better, one could assume it looked like that on purpose.

You took it with you to school on Wednesday. You had it weighing your backpack down the whole day. You sweated under all your layers, and by the end of it, you were sure you were sporting some epic pit stains. Gross, but you were so nervous. You hadn't broken into anyone's locker in so long. And it was Regina George's locker.

You loitered around the hallways as they emptied out steadily, people heading home or off to extracurriculars. As you approached Regina's locker, you swallowed down your nervousness and got to work.

It wasn't hard. The combination locks were all old and weak, more of a formality than an actual barrier between one's stuff and a burglar. The lock clicked open easily and you wasted no time in stuffing your album inside.

"Hey!" Just as the resounding click of the lock going back into place came, a voice called out to you. "What are you doing with Regina's locker?"

"Uhh..." Gretchen Wieners stood at the intersection of hallways, hands on her hips and accusatory eyes burning holes in you. You made the swift decision that you did not have time for this. You booked it.

"Hey! Get back here!" Gretchen, surprisingly considering her heels, started after you. "What did you put in it? You cannot prank Regina, or- or, oh, was it a bomb?"

"It's not a bomb!" You shouted over your shoulder, sprinting towards the exit. The aggressive clacking of Gretchen's heels on the floors as she ran after you would surely haunt your nightmares. How could she even keep up with you?

"If it's not a bomb then what!" How was she closing in on you? It seemed like she was not even fazed by your little race, meanwhile, you were already winded. The exit was not that far away, but it felt like miles.

"It's Regina's business now! Ask her tomorrow at school or something!" The doors to freedom approached. "Stop chasing me!"

"Stop running!"

"No!"

You burst out and quickly hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Gretchen was still on your tail, but once she got to the top of the stairs shouted: "Karen! Tackle her!"

You hadn't even noticed Karen fucking Shetty. There was no not noticing her when the girl sprinted at you with perfect athletic form and squashed you like a linebacker.

You collided and flew into the snow. Better than the concrete of the footpath but it still hurt like a bitch.

"Get off of me!" You tried to get out from under her, but Karen was surprisingly dense. She was small but it was as if there were stones in her body instead of organs. "Fuck!"

"Keep her there, Karen, very good."

"Thanks!" Karen beamed, which was a much more common expression on her than the bloodlust she'd shown earlier.

"This has nothing to do with you." You snarled, still wriggling. "This is between Regina and me."

"Whatever's between Regina is between us," Gretchen said, all hoity-toity. "Now, tell me exactly what you put in her locker."

"A fucking photo album." You hissed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. What lie could you come up with? "Our families used to know each other. It's mostly pictures of her, so I just thought to... Return it."

"Oh, that's so nice!" Karen's hold loosened and you went to escape.

"Nuh-uh, not good enough." Just like that, Karen's weight slammed back down onto you. Your breath wooshed out of your lungs.

"What more do you want?" You wheezed out, getting sick and tired of this.

"Why was it in your possession?"

"I don't fucking know! It just was!"

"Hmm. And why couldn't you just give it to her?"

"You think that would've gone well, Gretchen? Seriously?" You turned your head with great effort, staring up at the girl. "Please, just let me go."

"I don't think I believe you." Gretchen squatted next to your head. "We're going back and checking it's what you say it is. And then you might be free to go."

"Fuck you." You hissed but made no move to book it when Karen hauled you up.

"That's not very nice." Karen pointed out.

"I don't want to be nice to Gretchen right now." You had no real issue with Karen, even if she had just tackled you.

"Oh, okay." You couldn't see her when she was holding your wrists behind your back, but you could imagine she was bobbing her head up and down like she was known to do.

You were walked back into the building, going mostly without a fight. Gretchen strutted along proudly as if capturing you was some great victory. Regina had trained her well. You weren't sure if that was impressive or just sad.

"Open it." Gretchen gestured once you were back at Regina's locker.

"I need my hands to do that." You helped out, smiling at Gretchen like she was stupid. Sputtering and offended, she instructed Karen to let go.

Instead of running like you should've, taking the chance you could get out if Karen didn't get a one-up on you, you obediently cracked the code again. Was it selfish that you kind of wanted others to know about you and Regina? Was it totally horrible of you to want to know it was real and have proof of that? Well, if it was, there was no helping it.

Gretchen snatched the album from the locker before you could even think to touch it. Karen sidled up to her, peering over her shoulder as she opened it.

You stood by, waiting for their judgement and looking at the ceiling. There'd been a water leak right there, based on the discolouration. Gross.

"You... You're J. J is for Jorts." Gretchen said. She sounded weird, like hollow or something. "J is for Jorts." She said again, breathy and disbelieving.

"What?" What the fuck was going on?

Karen spoke then. "She talks about J a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot." You nodded slowly as Karen went on. "J's like, her true love. It's so cute."

"J is not her true love, Karen! They are both girls." Gretchen pointed out. You had to agree. "Are they?" She looked you up and down judgementally.

"Yes. I am a girl." You said. It was true, you were female and around the age that it was acceptable to be referred to as a girl. Even so, it made you distinctly uncomfortable.

"Hmm." Gretchen didn't seem to believe you. Karen was busy cooing at the pictures of small Regina. It was sheer luck they hadn't bothered to read your writings.

"Look, can I go now? I know I'm busted, you're probably gonna confiscate the album, and Regina will never see it. Happy?"

"No. Karen, please put it back in the locker." Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off of you. Karen did as asked with a pout. "What is your relationship with Regina?" The album was back in the locker, but it hadn't been locked again.

"Nothing." And that was true. There was nothing there anymore.

"That's a lie and you know it. If you're J, then you've known each other at least since middle school. Based on the pictures, even longer."

"Who is J?" You asked in exasperation.

"Somebody who she has protected for years now. Somebody who is always better than we could ever be." Gretchen pointed between herself and Karen. "J is important to her."

"Okay, well, good for J, I guess."

"You're so infuriating." Gretchen sighed, pinching the skin between her eyes.

"You aren't the first to tell me that."

"Of course, because Regina has said that to you. Because you've known each other forever. Because you're J."

"Listen, I may look a bit butch, but I have a perfectly ordinary girl name."

"That is not the point!" She spoke fast and high-pitched. "You. It's you. You've been under our noses this entire time! Do you realize how much easier things could've been if you were around?"

"Excuse me?" Now, you were really lost.

"You're excused," Karen said cheerfully. You nodded to her in thanks.

"We could never be as good as you. It was like we were placeholders for the ultimate pretty girl she'd somehow let slip. And it's you. In a flannel and hoodie, ratty jeans, dirty shoes, no fashion sense to speak of. It's you." She said that last part with contempt.

You were reeling. Regina had talked about you to these two. Had compared them to you, cited that you were better. For years she'd done that. She'd never forgotten about you.

"Look, Gretchen, I'm sorry Regina's treated you badly." You'd lost the need to defend her, even still. Then again, even if you hadn't, there was little you could argue about with the two she'd tormented the most. "You can probably tell this is something Regina doesn't want coming out."

"What does that matter?" Gretchen asked, eyes far away and legs beginning to pace. "We could- could finally bring her down. Yes. We have J, we have everything she wants. She'll come grovelling."

You took a deep breath. You didn't feel angry, you were too tired to get angry at mean girls at this point. Besides, nobody could rile you up like Regina.

"You're wrong." You put it plainly. "What Regina's been doing to these people, to everyone around her, is wrong. But what I find despicable is how everybody is the same. I know her reasons, I can sympathise with her, but I can't say the same for you. So tell me." You paused to take a deep breath. "Why?"

"I'm not good at riddles, I'm sorry." Karen said, looking genuinely apologetic.

"It's okay, Karen, Gretchen can answer for you both."

"She deserves it." Gretchen said, steel in her tone.

"You sound just like Cady Heron and Janis 'Imi'ike. She hurt them too. What do you think ruining her life will achieve?"

"I'll be the new Regina George."

"Do you hear yourself? You still idolize her. If you're gonna be the new Regina George, it's always going to be a Regina George world. Don't you want to be Gretchen Wieners?"

"No!" She screeched. "Gretchen Wieners is lame, boring, too eager, a slut, desperate-" She took a deep breath.

"Okay." You said. "Why? Because Regina said so? Why would you believe her? She's just the same as you. Look," You pulled the album back out.

"Here we're in the Georges' pool. She would not go to the deep end. Y'know, she refused to even go in without those arm floaties for the longest time. Eventually, some boy made fun of her for them and that was the last time.

"And in this one we're driving back from summer camp. Regina was already tall enough to go without a booster seat, but I wasn't. She'd just thrown the biggest tantrum 'cause Mrs George didn't allow her to take off her seatbelt to sleep. She went out like a light, anyway.

"We're in Six Flags there. We'd just gotten those ice creams and you can see that Regina's isn't sticking to the cone all that well. Right after the shot, it just slid off. Regina was inconsolable. I offered her mine so we could share, and that seemed to be good enough for her but her dad was not having it. He threatened to take us home if she didn't stop crying right then, that it'd be all her fault that their whole family wasted money and time on this stupid trip. Eventually she calmed down and Mr George didn't have to drive us back."

You sighed. "I already tried this with Janis, in a way. I don't think Regina would appreciate me airing out her personal life like this, but... I don't know..." You closed your eyes for a moment. "I just want people to stop making things worse for her. She's been so wrong for so long, and I know I can't keep defending her, but I just don't think revenge will make her regret anything that she's done."

Karen hummed. "My auntie's been teaching me about karma. So, like, if she feels what she's made others feel, then won't that like... Fix her?"

"I don't want to hurt her." You said, resolute. "Maybe, it could be the most effective way to make her see her shortcomings. But I don't want to. I do not want to hurt her." You looked between the two. "And that's where we differ, I guess."

Gretchen didn't say anything, eyes glued to a picture from the Six Flags trip. Regina had mustard and ketchup smeared all over her face while she was holding a napkin to your lips, in the process of wiping your face.

With that, you snatched the album from her hands, deposited it back into the locker and slammed it shut. The lock clicked. Without a word, you began to talk towards the exit. Neither of them followed you or said anything to you.

You couldn't stop people from taking their revenge. You had done your best to be diplomatic. Evoking sympathy in hormonal teenagers wasn't something easily done, or maybe you were just shitty at it, but there was little else you could do. If you went ahead and retaliated, hurt them for hurting someone you cared about, the lines blurred.

You'd just be another mean girl.

Notes: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter will be the last one, unless I start rambling or something. After that, I'll do a less structured series of epilogues. Loosely related oneshots, that kinda vibe.

Also, my writing assistant stopped working in the middle of this, so if there's stupid typos I'll come fix them later.

I swear to fucking god if the taglist doesn't work I'll start breaking bones.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism , @9unknown0 , @sage-rose2000 , @massive-honkas , @nattys-swiftie , @likefirenrain , @luz-enjoyer , @dandelions4us , @natashamaximoff-69 , @alexkolax , @jareaul0ver , @here4theqts , @charleeeesworld , @natsbiggestfan1 , @brocoliisscared , @yellowwallflowers , @scarlettbitchx , @ayoungexwife , @cyberbonesworld , @syddie-reads , @screechcat , @theenglishswiftie , @gabby-duhh , @sweetmissnothing , @masterofpuppets-10 , @l1lass , @starved-mortal , @nothanksbye07 , @nenas19 , @jvuyii , @starry-night17 , @reneeswife24 , @glorioushamsterqueen , @krononan , @slug-on-bike , @rayisaknight , @chaseatlanticlover91 , @reginassweetheart , @mirage018

(this actually makes me angry. why. why doesnt it work. i type in the @ and then i type in the name and then it shows up in the lil' box and i click it but then it don't show up ;-;)

(this is cyber bullying. the cybers are bullying me.)

(anyway, if you want to be added to the taglist there is no gurantee if it'll work, but i'll add you if you want! just comment on this post :) if anybody has any ideas why it's like this, lmk!)

[fullofgutsndopamine]

Maybe I'll Feel Better (Give Me Forty-Five)

or: the one where you two are elementary school teachers "judging" a gingerbread house competition. hasan takes it very seriously.

listen: the bad news is all i'm watching now is hallmark movies. this was like, super briefly mentioned in a movie i watched tonight so here's: something?

anyways y'all seem to like my teacher AUs (or at least tolerate them) so

more hasan here

the email ping got you first.

my room. noon. sharp. sharpened pencil and other supplies provided -Piker

you snort. your fingers hover over the keyboard, considering what to say next. hasan’s emails usually seem like he wrote them in between passing periods, as kids tug on his shirt sleeves, begging for milk containers to be opened and for shoelaces to be tied.

you stare at the email, start typing something, realize it sounds dumb, backspace and delete it. there's not much time to think about it, before the bell rings and the students pile back into the room.

Noon comes quickly. If you weren't lying to yourself, you'd be honest about how your dragging your feet across the hallway to Hasan’s classroom, where the near constant cheering and songs he makes up makes your head ache and pound at the end of your day.

You feel as if you can feel your kids eyeballs on the back of your head as you finally go to Hasan’s room, but you push it down quickly.

Hasan is pacing around his room.

Correction: Hasan wears a crooked Santa hat on his head as he paces back and forth.

"Hey," You knock gently, "Am I interrupting something?"

You seem like you're interrupting something, and you fight the urge to take your phone out of your pocket to check the time, even though you know you're right on time.

"Finally!" He smiles, a lopsided grin on his face, "Time to get down to business."

You hesitate in the doorway.

"Come on," He laughs, "Have to show you everything, we have a whole procedure to go over."

You walk to his desk, where he stands, a clipboard in his hand before he nudges you a small wooden clipboard, a small stack of stapled papers under the clip, little boxes that were obviously handmade that say: rating, student, comments its obviously made in MS Paint, and was thrown together last night, but as you run your fingers over the lines, you think of hasan, in his pajamas after a long day, his laptop on his lap, glasses crooked on the tip of his nose as he stays up half the night, putting together this paper to try and make the day a little more magical for all his students.

"Here, my class made this for you too." He looks down as he passes it, but it's a homemade ribbon out of construction paper; blues and reds and yellows, is pinned to his chest, says: #1 judge in slanted writing.

He slides one across the table to you, matches his, and a little safety pin is fixed to the back of it.

"I guess you take this very seriously." You tease as you pick it up, your hands fumble with it as you try to pin it to your shirt with no success.

"May I?" Hasan is at your elbow, his voice is low and gentle as he takes it out of your hands gently, pinches your shirt as he carefully pins it, his fingers are long but work perfectly to pin it with practiced ease.

He talks as he does so.

"Class worked all period on this," He mumbles as he pins it, adjusts it carefully, "Said we should at least act like we care about the cold war, but I think they were a little pre occupied."

He takes a step back, tilts his head: "Beautiful, it's perfect."

And you speak so he doesn't see your bright pink face: "I think they spelled judge wrong." you tease gently.

He tsks, like he didn't see it, "Amateur hour, I'll get to the bottom of it. Here-"

He slides you a small collection of pre sharpened pencils, all that have Mr.Piker’s Favorite Student etched into the side of them, sparkle when you turn them around in the fluorescent lighting.

"Nice pencils." You tease, and he beams, lets it roll off his shoulders, only seems embarrassed for a second:

"Thanks! Made 'em myself. Follow me, I'll explain everything to you when we walk to the auditorium."

It's a short walk.

The school is small, the auditorium even smaller, his class load only in the twenties, but he holds the door for you into the small room, and ignores his students squealing when they see him, a wink and a nod to them, like they're all involved in some inside joke that you aren't a part of-

the rules are simple enough. follow him with the clipboard, rate the art, try and narrow it down to the winner. he explains everyone's a winner, doesn't have the heart for everyone to walk out without some sort of award, even if it's most creative, or most frosting on the side of a house or-

"Hell," He'll even say, throwing his hands in the air as you get to the first house, "Most creative use of a gum drop, it doesn't matter. Everyone's a winner when I'm judging."

and you realize how he's so loved among the students, as they run to his side and pull on his shirt for him to kneel on the filthy floor and listen to them, speaking through broken teeth as they tell him the random gossip happening-

"This is a good one." You say at the second one.

The roof is crooked. Half hanging on, except through a prayer and an approximate shit ton of frosting and red and green skittles, it's still cute, well coated with candy-you think of hasan in a little apron running around his room as he makes sure all the students have gingerbread, frosting, all the candy and fixings-

"Most creative use of frosting, l'd say." hasan nods, scribbles something onto his clipboard.

You snort.

"Most creative use of skittles, obviously." You scribble something as he does, suddenly feel like you should be doing it as well.

He snorts now. "come on. The frosting job."

"The council has spoken, Hasan. I'm so sorry."

"The council," He laughs, "And you're the council, I take it?"

"Obviously."

"And any way to object the council?" He pushes.

"Give me five minutes, I'll bring it to the council." you tuck the pencil behind your ear.

It feels good, finally laughing. Being a first year teacher and spending most periods holed up in your room, eating a peanut butter sandwich at your desk, craning your neck and face turning bright red every time you hear someone passing your room, always afraid that it's you, that you're the punchline.

"And?" hasan pushes after a few houses.

"Bad news, bud." You tease gently, "Council denied it."

He groans, "Fuck. Let me see your notes."

you glance at his; for the most part, he takes it seriously, little notes in the boxes on the placement of frosting and color patterns, enough for any child to feel appreciated-

but in the corners are little flower stems and hearts, litte scribbles you can barely make out-

"No way," You giggle as you hold the clipboard close to your chest, trying to not laugh too loudly, because this seems dangerously close to flirting, and you aren't here for that-

"Come on," He pulls at your sleeve gently, "We gotta announce winners."

You nibble your lip.

Even being a teacher, teaching in front of these kids it's different then talking to these peers that you're terrified of, terrified of being a punchline to a joke-

"Come on," His voice comes quieter, gentler, no edge to it, "I'll be right here, l'm not going anywhere."

And you barely know him. Like, besides him popping his head into your classroom occasionally, gives you supplies when you need it, helped you hang decorations once in passing-

"Okay," you nods, "Yeah, okay."

and you follow as he leads to a makeshift stage.

Somehow, everything is less scary with hasan by your side now.

"Everyone," He clears his throat, "We have the winners. Now- you all are winners to us two-"

Load groans are heard around the room, boos from his students, but he puffs his chest out and smiles widely as he calls the students to the stage, little make shift awards he obviously spent lots of time creating out of different brightly colored construction paper as the two of you take turns pinning it to the children's shirts.

"We make a good team." hasan declares as he holds your hand to help you off the stage, the winners still get pats on the back and photos for the year book

You shrug, to downplay it all, "Yeah, I guess. You're pretty okay."

He lauahs "I'll take it. Come on I made the hot chocolate, and not to brag, but it's my best batch yet."

He doesn't let go of your hand as he leads you away from the stage, even with all eyes on you two

[mgarmagedon]

🫵You🫵

You made me ship Blurr x Sideswipe

(and i can't find any fics😭)

Glad to hear that i pushed you into a madness :)

But as a special treat for you my fellow anon, I wrote a very special Sideswipe x Blurr fanfiction :D

BUT first, I need to make shout out for my other BFF who helped me with correcting it: cats_and_robots_enjoyer on instagram

You are the best dude!!!! Let's give her some love guys :D

English:

Blurr sat behind the wheel, feeling unusually nervous. He couldn't believe he felt the urge to slow down, just to avoid entering that place. It was Crown city, where another team of Autobots resided. Normally, this wouldn't bother him; he believed he could handle any challenge solo. But this time was different.

He blushed with shame at the thought of the reason for all this stress: the red Autobot named Sideswipe. After their last encounter in Griffin Rock, he couldn't get him out of his mind. In his thoughts, he praised Sideswipe, seeing him as the best racing partner he'd ever had.

He only sighed, accelerating to enter the outskirts of the city.

At the same time, at the junkyard, which served as a hideout for the Autobots, Sideswipe emerged from Alchemor, dragging his younger companion, Russell, whom he had to take to school.

Russell yawned as he loaded his backpack into Sideswipe's car. He seemed rather displeased with the whole ordeal. Sideswipe felt much the same way, considering waking up at 6 in the morning as a punishment rather than a duty.

"Sideswipe... do we really have to go there...?" Russell groaned, feeling dejected.

"Unfortunately, yes," Sideswipe sighed. "Because last time when Bee found out I took you on what he called 'playing hooky' instead of an educational trip, he confiscated my hair gel! I looked like some dirty emo for a week, it was... traumatic." He shuddered slightly at the memory of the bad hairstyle.

Russell merely sighed and sat in the passenger seat, dreading his day at school with a defeated expression. Behind him, Sideswipe settled into the driver's seat after opening the gate. As the sports car headed towards the suburbs.

It took them less than 15 minutes to reach the school and its entire campus. Sideswipe got out of the car and opened the door for Russell. The boy hopped out of the car and hurried towards the building, with Sideswipe watching him go.

Meanwhile, as Sideswipe was at St. John Paul II Elementary School No. VII, Blurr was getting lost in the city. He couldn't activate either the locator or the communicator with the Rescue Bots' base, nor could he locate the nearest Cybertronians due to interference on all channels. Frustrated, he turned into a small street to check the cause of this malfunction. He pulled over on the side of the road, which only led to a large human school and its entire campus. When he stopped, he sighed and was about to check if the locator was broken or stuck.

He nearly had a heart attack when he noticed Sideswipe standing in front of the car, using a human device - a phone with earphones. He started to retreat gently and slowly, praying that the redhead wouldn't notice him.

"Rust!" he muttered under his breath, seeing the boy turning towards him.

"He...?" he turned to the car, which was reversing, taking off his headphones. He squinted due to his poor eyesight and easily recognized the car and his newly made friend - Blurr. "Blurr?" he shouted to his friend in the car.

Blurr knew he was too deep in it and couldn't escape the situation now. He took a deep breath and stepped out of the vehicle, exuding confidence.

"Dude, I can't believe you're here!" He smiled and called out to Sideswipe. "What are you even doing here? I thought they don't accept halfwits like you here!" he joked with Sideswipe as he approached.

Sideswipe laughed out loud and hugged him, then gently patted him on the back. Blurr blushed.

"Relax, I'd never even step foot in there! I get chills just thinking about human school!" He released him from his embrace. "I had to drop off my partner here - Russel, he is still going to school, and because 'if you want Russell to be your partner, you have to take him to and pick him up from school, because in my day I had to do it and I didn't complain when I had to wake up at 6 am'." He tried to mimic Bumblebee, which amused Blurr. "And what are you doing here, dude, so far from Griffin Rock? Something happened? Do I need to show off my cat moves to some Decepticons?" he began to wave his arms around, pretending to be a wild cat.

"Not yet, dude, but I promise you'll be the first I'll call when it's time to beat someone up or show who's the fastest racer in Europe!" He grabbed Sideswipe and started ruffling his hair. "It's something much more important, dude. I got a secret mission from Heatwave to check something in this area, but unfortunately, none of the detectors or anything are working! Like, why did they even give it to me if it doesn't even want to work, right?" He laughed at Sideswipe, who was trying to fix his own hair.

"Oh, that's because we have our signal tracking blocked here," he began to explain. "Ever since that stupid ship crashed in that lake, even the human internet barely works! Can you imagine? We have to communicate through human radios like some war-time retirees?! I know it's normal for Bee because he's old, but for me, it's weird! Lately, he even told me to read books and stop watching let's plays. Seriously, he's got a stick up his butt." He sighed. "Literally just problems with that geezer…” for a second he forgot what he was talking about.”What was I talking about?”

“My mission…?”

“Ah right! Getting back to more important things, maybe you'll tell me what you're looking for, and I'll help you? I know this place pretty well, so you'll find it sooner rather than later."

"Hmm... Well, I don't know, dude, I shouldn't..." he scratched his neck.

"Oh, come on, nothing will happen if I help you, dude! Last time was wonderful in action, and with my help, it'll go even faster! Oh, please, please, please! If you don't take me, Bee will force me to clean up the entire base because Grimlock can't control his own tail." He made puppy eyes.

"Alright, fine! The sooner we deal with this, the sooner we can finally get back to racing, right?" He nudged him in the arm. "I'm looking for this one crook who stole spare parts from our base."

"...And?"

"40 kilos of energon."

"What? So I have to eat energon mixed with human food because we're running low on it, and this guy just took off with 40 kilos of energon." He scoffed. "Do you have a picture of him or something?"

"Well, actually yeah” he gave him a photo of a thief. "We also found him here through an energon signal, and after he entered the city, I lost his signal."

"Hmm..." Sideswipe began to think aloud, scratching his chin.

"I mean, you know, if you can't handle it, I can look for him myself..." Blurr tried to wriggle out of the situation.

"Sha! I've got it!" Sides continued, as Blurr looked at him. "I know! Last time when humans found Steeljaw and his crew's energon stash, they took it to... the port! To sell it as some expensive... glowing stuff!"

"Well then, lead the way, compadre." He looked into his eyes, enchanted, and gave him a slight bow, letting him go ahead.

Sideswipe hopped into his car, poking his head out of the window.

"Come on, let's go!"

Blurr quickly jumped into his own car and followed Sideswipe, leaving only dust behind them.

Suddenly, his heart began to beat faster, and hundreds of thoughts raced through his head. 

He started to think about the conversation he just had with Sideswipe and how foolish he had sounded. He felt ashamed of himself and how he had conducted the conversation, questioning why he hadn't invited him for a hangout or a private race, or even something more. Nevertheless, Blurr was happy that Sides wanted to spend time with him.

The two cars sped through the city with screeching tires, heading straight for their destination. After not too long, they arrived at the entrance to the port and hid their cars in the bushes. They quickly looked around before Blurr approached the gates and examined the vehicles parked within the premises.

"That's that guy" Blurr pointed with his finger, and Sideswipe immediately looked in the direction he indicated. "The same trailer he had attached to his car in the surveillance footage! But how do we get there... we can't just break in here! I have an idea, maybe I can distract-"

"Listen to me man, I've got a plan," Sides said, pulling Blurr along until they reached a hole, which Strongarm had made by tossing Sideswipe through it.

"Whoa... you really know everything about this place," Blurr remarked.

"Literally, I've scouted this area too many times with my own wonderful face to not know it by heart," Sideswipe replied, ushering Blurr through the hole in the fence. "You wouldn't believe how often criminals operate in this port. With this many Decepticons and human crooks around, I'm surprised the military isn't stationed here," he said, sounding outraged as he slipped in behind Blurr.

There was no one there except for them in this area, so Sideswipe started treating it like a walk in the park. He slowly led Blurr through the maze of metal containers ready for export from Crown City, which was a technological giant in this part of Europe.

As they walked, Sideswipe continued to recount his adventures in this place, telling Blurr about Steeljaw, about the Alchemor, about the spirit of Optimus Prime, and Blurr couldn't believe how much was happening here.

" - And you know, recently Windblade flew in to see us! It's like winning a million shanix, literally-"

"Hey, Sideswipe," Blurr interrupted his monologue.

"Yeah, dude?"

"I know that..." Blurr chuckled nervously. "It might sound a bit strange in these circumstances, but maybe you could tell me a bit about yourself? After all, this is only our second meeting." He kept laughing nervously, following Sideswipe.

"About myself, I could talk for hours, depending on what exactly you want to know," Sideswipe replied, glancing between the metal containers upon hearing the creaks. He then pulled out his weapon from his leather jacket. At this signal, Blurr himself prepared for action.

"For example, what do you like to drink or do?" Blurr whispered, stepping ahead of Sideswipe before ducking behind a corner and noticing two guards stationed by the containers in front of a moderately sized ship.

"Hmm... Let me think, because that's actually a tough question..." Sideswipe whispered back, overtaking Blurr and sprinting ahead.

Before the crew member noticed him, he was already lying on the ground, with Sideswipe's boot on his face. Blurr then jumped onto the next one, hitting his head against the rusty metal wall of the container, immediately knocking out  the middle-aged man.

"I particularly enjoy drinking energon mixed with Mountain Dew..." he whispered, scratching his chin. "And as for what I like to do, racing, painting myself up, I enjoy messing around with others sometimes, but there's always someone yelling at me for it. Especially Strongarm!" He crossed his arms and leaned against the container as Blurr bound the men's hands and feet with foam, still listening attentively."She's a real demon underneath that pretty face, really, I don't know how I haven't 'dumped' her yet. I guess I've grown too attached to that hairy gorilla," Sideswipe remarked as he headed towards the ship upon hearing that they were about to start sailing.

"Wait, you mean you have a girlfriend?" Blurr immediately ran after Sideswipe.

Blurr and Sideswipe quickly launched into the attack, moving with grace and speed. Their movements were synchronized and harmonious, as if executing a choreography in the midst of battle. Blurr deftly dodged enemy attacks, leaping from one opponent to another, striking accurately and swiftly. Meanwhile, Sideswipe employed strength and energy, barging into enemies and delivering blows that sent them flying through the air. They worked together like a well-oiled machine, surpassing their opponents with their skill and coordination. Despite the enemies' attempts to defend themselves, Blurr and Sideswipe did not slow down. Their attacks were swift and precise, hitting the opponents' weak points accurately. The boys' unwavering determination eventually broke through the enemy's defense, incapacitating anyone who stood in their way. Despite being outnumbered, Blurr and Sideswipe defeated them all, emerging victorious from the fierce battle.

They immobilized them both and left them in front of the ship. While Sideswipe called the police to report the capture of the thieves, Blurr pulled up in his car. He loaded his stolen goods onto the trailer he took from the thieves. Then, both of them quickly drove away through the entrance that Blurr had opened earlier.

"I hope they don't have cameras here!" Blurr remarked.

"Don't worry, there's nothing here. If they had cameras, I wouldn't have to keep coming back here all the time," Sideswipe said with a sour expression.

Sides jumped out of Blurr's car and got into his own, and they drove away, hearing only police sirens behind them.

A few kilometers further, they both stopped. Sideswipe got out of the car and stretched, then hissed in pain from the sensation in his left arm. Blurr was right behind him.

"That was some action, am I right dude?" Sides chuckled. "Quick, no-strings-attached fight!"

"Are you okay, though?" Blurr asked, concerned. He could tell something was bothering Sideswipe after the fight.

"Nah, I'm fine, just need to patch myself up—" Blurr pushed Sideswipe into his car. "Ah! What the fu-"

"Relax, I'll just patch you up. You don't look your best."

"I don't look my best...? What do you mean by that? Is it really bad?" He said worried.

Blurr chuckled softly as he removed Sideswipe's upper clothing, revealing his athletic yet delicate body. He blushed at the sight of the barely visible blond hairs on the skin and the gentle cuts oozing blood.

"What's wrong? Dazzled by my Greek god-like body?" Sideswipe joked charmingly.

"W-what? No!" Blurr stammered, embarrassed, and began to cleanse his wounds.

For a moment, they found themselves in an awkward silence. Blurr focused on tending to Sideswipe's wounds, while Sideswipe glanced alternately at the sky and at Blurr's first aid kit, which had better supplies than what Fixit used to extract a from Bumblebee's intimate area.

"We should do this more often, Blurr, just you and me, no one else! Especially not Strongarm..." He sighed, smiling and closing his eyes.

"She's your girlfriend...?" he asked in desperation.

"Not exactly, for now I think we're in a ‘situation ship’, although Drift says that doesn't exist," Sideswipe replied, glancing at Blurr. "I'm doing what I can to get her interested in me, but for now, she's keeping her distance, maybe because of her issues with her parents. I wish she'd care about me, even for just a moment..."

"So you're not together?" Blurr asked, feeling a bit of hope in his spark.

"In theory, no, but I already refer to her that way, so I can say 'I told you so' in the end," Sideswipe smiled, confident that it will happen that way.

"Ah, great! Wonderful!" Blurr exclaimed happily, finishing applying the bandages. 

"I knew you'd get me, buddy. It's only our second meeting, and we're already on the same wavelength," he added, patting him on the back with delight.

"Of course, man..!" Blurr swallowed nervously. "Hey, maybe you'd like to hang out with me next week? We have a festival in Griffin Rock, and you know, it would be cool, you know."

"Oh man, are you inviting me to go clubbing? Yes, absolutely, count me in!" Sideswipe exclaimed excitedly. “Nobody ever invited me to go clubbing.”

"Looks like I'm the lucky one," he sent back, flashing his charming smile, then received a playful nudge from Sideswipe.

Upon hearing those words from the red-haired guy, Blurr felt a rush of euphoria. He couldn't believe he had actually achieved this. He couldn't believe he was here now, so close to Sideswipe, who wanted to be his closest buddy, and maybe even something more someday—at least that's what Blurr wanted to believe in this moment. Even now, he felt like he couldn't wait for the next week.

Polski:

Blurr siedział za kierownicą, poddenerwowany, co mu się nigdy nie zdarzyło. Nie sądził, że kiedykolwiek będzie mieć ochotę aby trochę zwolnić, byle by nie dojechać do tego przeklętego miejsca. Owym miejscem jest Królewiec, gdzie przebywała inna drużyną autobotów. Fakt iż poza nim rezydowały w pobliżu inne boty mu nie przeszkadzało ani trochę, bo w swoim mniemaniu dałby sobie radę z każdym wyzwaniem, które ośmieliłoby się stanąć mu na drodze, lecz nie w tym tkwił problem..

Rumienił się ze wstydu na samą myśl powodu tego całego stresu, był czerwony autobot o imieniu Sideswipe. Po ostatnim spotkaniu w Griffin Rock nie mógł go wyrzucić z umysłu. Myśl o byciu komplementowanym, podziwianym przez tego czerwono włosego przystojniaka sprawiała, że serce młodzieńca przyspieszyło swoją pracę. Natomiast idea o potencjalnym wyścigu między nimi, jako dwójce idealnych przeciwników, sprawiła że jego policzki przybrały odcień szkarłatu.

Jednak to wszystko to były tylko płonne nadzieje…Młody mężczyzna jedynie westchnął i niechętnie przyspieszył by wjechać na przedmieścia miasta.

W tym samym czasie na wysypisku, będące kryjówka dla autobotów, Sideswipe wyszedł z Alchemoru ciągnąć za sobą swego młodszego kompana- Russella, którego miał odwieźć do  szkoły.

Brązowowłosy chłopiec ziewał ospale od czasu a jego oczy były na wpół przymknięte a na wpół otwarte, jakby nadal próbował się oswoić z świadomością tego, że od ponad 30 minut jest na nogach. Nastolatek burknął niezrozumiale pod nosem wkładając plecak do auta Sideswipa, wyglądając na dość niezadowolonego z całego procederu. Podobne odczucia miał Sideswipe, który uważał, że to iż musi wstawać o 6:00 nad ranem jest dla niego karą, a nie obowiązkiem.

"Sideswipe... naprawdę musimy tam jechać...?" ziewnął załamany Russell.

"Niestety tak." Westchnął niebieskooki. "Ponieważ jak ostatnio Bee się dowiedział, że wziąłem cię na jak to nazwał 'wagary', a nie edukacyjną wycieczkę, to zabrał mi żel do włosów! Wyglądałem jak jakiś brudny emos przez tydzień! To było... traumatyczne." Złapał się za ramiona i lekko zatrząsł przez powracające wspomnienia o złej fryzurze. 

Russell jedynie westchnął i usiadł na miejscu pasażera, z fatalną wizją swojego dnia w szkole i załamanym wyrazem twarzy. Zaraz po nim usiadł Sideswipe na miejscu kierowcy, silnik zamruczał głęboko rozgrzewając ciężkie mechanizmy. W momencie gdy brama od ich kryjówki ustąpiła im z drogi, samochód sportowy wyjechał z podjazdu wzburzając za sobą tony kurzu.

Dojechanie na miejsce docelowe zajęło im niecałe 15 minut zajęło. Sides wyszedł z pojazdu, chwycił w dłoń plecach Russella, otworzył mu drzwi, a następnie podał torbę z szkolnym ekwipunkiem. Chłopak wyskoczył z auta i ruszył do budynku machając mu na pożegnanie. Mimowolnie na ustach młodego mężczyzny zagościł delikatny uśmiech i obdarował chłopca identycznym gestem.

Kiedy Sides był pod podstawówką imienia Jarosława Pawła II nr. VII, Blurr błąkał się po mieście jak jakieś dziecko we mgle. Nie był w stanie włączyć ani lokalizatora ani komunikatora z bazą Rescue Botów, nawet nie był w stanie namierzyć najbliższych cybertrończyków. Wkurzony wjechał w małą uliczkę, aby sprawdzić przyczynę usterki. Stanął na poboczu drogi która jedynie prowadziła do dużej ludzkiej szkoły i jej całego kampusu. Kiedy się zatrzymał wyłączył silnik westchnął a poirytowaniem zastanawiając się czy lokalizator się zepsuł albo zaciął.

Prawie dostał zawału gdy zauważył Sideswipa stojące przy swoim mechanicznym wierzchowcu, używającego ludzkiego urządzenia- telefonu ze słuchawkami na uszach. Zaczął się stopniowo i powoli się wycofywać, modląc się do Primusa by czerwono włosy chłopak go nie zauważył.

"W rdzę!" Klnął pod nosem widząc jak niebieskooki młodzian odwraca się w jego stronę, zaintrygowany nagłym ruchem w bocznej alejce.

"He...?" Skierował głowę stronę auta, które się wycofywało, tym samym zdejmując słuchawki. Sides przymrużył oczy, przez swój słaby wzrok, rozpoznał z łatwością to auto i jego świeżo poznanego właściciela- Blurra. "Blurr?" Krzyknął do swojego przyjaciela w aucie.

Blurr już wiedział, że tkwi w tym za głęboko i nie może już uciec z zaistniałej sytuacji, wziął głęboki wdech po czym wyszedł z pojazdu, z pełną pewnością siebie.

"Stary, nie wierzę, że tutaj jesteś!" Uśmiechnął się i odkrzyknął do niego." Co ty tutaj w ogóle robisz, myślałem, że nie przyjmują takich półgłówków jak ty tutaj!" zażartował sobie z Sidesa, podchodząc do niego.

Sideswipe głośno się zaśmiał i przytulił do niego, po czym delikatnie poklepał go po plecach. Blurr się zarumienił.

"Spokojnie, nigdy bym tam nawet nie wszedł! Dostaje dreszczy na samą myśl o ludzkiej szkole!" Puścił go ze swoich objęć. "Musiałem odwieźć tutaj mojego partnera- Russella, nadal chodzi do podstawówki, a bo 'skoro chcesz by Russell był twoim partnerem musisz go odwodzić i odbierać ze szkoły, bo za moich czasów ja musiałem to robić i nie marudziłem kiedy wstawałem o 6 rano'." Starał się parodiować Bumblebee, co rozśmieszyło Blurra. "A co ty tutaj robisz, tak daleko od Griffin Rock? Coś się stało? Czy mam pokazać moje kocie ruchy jakimś decepticonom?" zaczął wymachiwać rękoma prezentując swe odruchy dzikiego, zaprawionego w bojach kota.

"Jeszcze nie, stary, ale obiecuję Ci, że będziesz pierwszym do którego zapukam, jak będzie trzeba kogoś pobić lub pokazać kto jest najszybszym rajdowcem w Europie!" Chwycił Sideswipa w zagłębienie swego ramienia i zaczął go czochrać."To coś znacznie ważniejszego, ziomuś, dostałem tajną misję od Heatwava, by sprawdzić coś na tym terenie, ale niestety żadne wykrywacze lub inne śmierci nie działają! Jakby po co mi to w ogóle dali, skoro to non-stop odmawia mi posłuszeństwa, co nie?" Zaśmiał się do Sideswipa, który starał się naprawić rozczochraną fryzurę.

“A no tak, wracając do rzeczy ważniejszych, może powiesz mi czego szukasz. Z chęcią Ci pomogę, znam to miejsce jak własną kieszeń, więc znajdziesz to szybciej niż myślisz."

"Oh, to dlatego, że mamy tutaj zablokowane namierzanie naszych sygnałów" zaczął mu tłumaczyć. “Od kiedy ten dupny statek się rozbił w tym jeziorze, nawet ludzki internet ledwo działa! I ty to sobie wyobrażasz, że musimy się komunikować przez ludzkie radio, jak jacyś emeryci podczas wojny?! Wiem, że to normalne dla Bee, bo jest stary ale dla mnie to dziwne! Ostatnio nawet kazał mi czytać książki i przestać oglądać let's playe, no serio on ma kija w dupie." Westchnął." Dosłownie same problemy z tym grzybem…”przez sekundę Sideswipe się zawiesił i zapomniał.” O czym ja w ogóle mówiłem?"

“O mojej misji…?”

Blurr mruknął cicho pod nosem, zastanawiając się nad propozycje pobratymca.

"Hmm... No nie wiem, stary, nie powinienem..." podrapał się po karku.

"No dawaj, przecież nic się nie stanie jak ci pomogę! Ostatnim razem byłeś cudowny w akcji, a z moją pomocą pójdzie to jeszcze szybciej! Oj proszę, proszę, proszę! Jak mnie nie weźmiesz, to Bee zmusi mnie do posprzątania całej bazy, bo Grimlock nie panuje nad własnym ogonem." zrobił maślane oczy w stronę Blurra, atakując go swą słodkością niczym kot w butach.

Słysząc solidne argumenty ‘za’, Blurr poczuł, że musi się ugiąć pod naporem Sideswipa.

"Niech ci będzie! Im szybciej się tym zajmiemy tym szybciej będziemy mogli się pościgach, co nie?" Dał mu kuksa w ramię."Szukam takiego jednego przestępcy, który ukradł z naszej bazy części zamienne."

"...I?"

"40 kilo energonu."

"Co? To ja muszę jeść energon wymieszany z ludzkim jedzeniem, bo nam go nie starcza, a ten człowiek sobie po prostu zabrał 40 kilo energonu." Oburzył się.

"Masz jakieś jego zdjęcie czy coś?"

"Właściwie to tak!” podał mu jego zdjęcie z monitoringu.

”Znaleźliśmy go tutaj przez sygnał energonu, a po tym jak wjechał do miasta, straciłem jego sygnał."

"Hm..." Sideswipe zaczął głośno myśleć drapiąc się po brodzie.

"Znaczy wiesz, jak nie dasz rady sam mogę go poszukać..." Blurr próbował się wywinąć z tej sytuacji.

"Sza! Ja myślę!" Sides kontynuował, kiedy Blurr patrzył na niego. "Już wiem! Ostatnim razem jak ludzie znaleźli zapas energonu Steeljawa i jego ekipy, wzięli to do… portu! Żeby sprzedać to jako jakieś drogie... świecące coś!"

"W takim razie prowadź compadre." Spojrzał mu w oczy zauroczony i lekko się ukłonił puszczając go przodem.

Sideswipe wskoczył do swojego pojazdu I wysunął głowę za okno.

"Dawaj, chodź!"

Blurr szybko wskoczył do swojego auta, i ruszył za Sideswipem zostawiając za sobą jedynie kusz. 

Serce Blurra zaczęło szybciej bić, a setki myśli napływały mu do głowy. Zaczął myśleć o rozmowie, którą właśnie przeprowadził z Sideswipem i na jakiego głupka on wyszedł. Czuł wstyd za siebie i jak przeprowadził ową wymianę zdań, pytał się samego siebie czemu go po prostu nie zaprosił na spotkanie lub prywatny wyścig albo nawet coś więcej. Aczkolwiek Blurr był szczęśliwy, że Sides sam chciał z nim spędzać czas.

Dwa auta jechały z piskiem opon po mieście w kierunku prostym. Po niezbyt długim czasie dotarli pod wjazd do portu, ukryli auta w buszu a następnie ruszyli żwawo przed siebie. Rozejrzeli się dookoła, po czym Blurr podszedł do bramy, patrząc na obraz przed nim zza krat.

“To ten koleś” Pokazał palcem Blurr, Sideswipe natychmiast spojrzał w pokazaną mu stronę.

Nikogo tam nie było oprócz nich, przez co Sideswipe traktował to jak spacer po łące. Powoli prowadził Blurra po labiryncie zrobionych z metalowych kontenerów gotowych do eksportu z Królewca, który jest gigantem technologicznym w tej części Europy.

”Tą samą przyczepę miał przy aucie na zdjęciach z monitoringu! Tylko jakby się tam dostać… nie możemy się tak po prostu tutaj włamać! Mam pomysł, może ja cię podstadzę-”

“Posłuchaj mnie stary, ja mam plan” Sides pociągnął za sobą Blurra, aż nie napotkali dziurę, która zrobiła Strongarm rzucając w nią Sideswipa.

“Wo… ty naprawdę wszystko wiesz o tym miejscu”

“Dosłownie, szorowałem ten teren własną cudowną twarzą zbyt wiele razy, żebym go teraz nie znał…” przepuścił Blurra przez dziurę w płocie.”Nawet się nie spodziewasz jak często przestępcy coś robią w tym porcie??? Z taką ilością decepticonów i ludzkich przestępców tutaj, ja się dziwie, że wojsko tutaj nie stacjonuje.”powiedział oburzony, wślizgując się za Blurrem.

Sideswipe opowiadał mu przy tym cały czas jego przygody w tym miejscu, mówił mu o Steeljaw, o Alchemorze, o duchu Optimusa, a Blurr nie mógł uwierzyć w to ile rzeczy tutaj się dzieje.

“Tak stary?”

“-I no jakby też ostatnio do nas przyleciała Windblade! Jakby stary to jak wygrać milion shanixów, dosłownie-"

“Ej Sideswipe.”przerwał mu jego monolog.

"Wiem, że…” zaśmiał się nerwowo.” Że to może brzmieć trochę dziwnie w takich okolicznościach, ale może opowiesz mi o sobie trochę? W końcu do tej pory to nasze 2 spotkanie dopiero." Zaśmiał się nerwowo, idąc za Sideswpiem.

"O sobie to ja mogę opowiadać godzinami, zależy co konkretnie chcesz wiedzieć." Rozejrzał się między metalowymi kontenerami po usłyszeniu trzasków, po czym wyciągnął swoją broń ze skórzanej kurtki. Na ten sygnał sam Blurr się przygotował.

"Na przykład co lubisz pić lub robić?" szepnął, wyprzedzając Sideswipa, po czym schował się za rogiem i zauważył, dwójka ludzi na straży przy kontenerach, stojących przed niezbyt dużym statkiem.

“Hm… Daj mi pomyśleć, bo to trudne pytanie w sumie…” wyprzedził Blurra i pobiegł do przodu. 

Zanim członek załogi go zauważył, już leżał na ziemi , z butem Sideswipa na jego twarzy. Na następnego wskoczył Blurr, po czym uderzył jego głową o metalową ścianę rdzewiejącego kontenera, co od razu z knock outowało mężczyznę w średnim wieku.

"Najbardziej to ja lubię pić energon wymieszany z Mountain Dew..." wyszeptał, po czym podrapał się po brodzie." A robić to się ścigać, malować się, lubię czasami sobie pożartować z innymi, ale zawsze ktoś musi się na mnie za to wydrzeć. Zwłaszcza Strongarm!” skrzyżował ręce i oparł się o kontener, kiedy Blurr sklejał ręce i nogi mężczyzn pianką, mimo wszystko uważnie go słuchał.” Ona jest prawdziwym demonem pod tą piękną twarzą, naprawdę, nie wiem jak ja jej jeszcze nie ‘rzuciłem’, widocznie zbyt się przywiązałem do tego włochatego goryla." Sideswipa ruszył w stronę statku kiedy usłyszał, że powoli będą odpływać.

"Czekaj, masz na myśli, że masz dziewczynę?" natychmiast pobiegł za Sidesem.

Blurr i Sideswipe szybko ruszyli do ataku, poruszając się z gracją i szybkością. Ich ruchy były zgrane i harmonijne, jakby wykonując choreografię w środku bitwy. Blurr unikał ataków przeciwników, skacząc z jednego do drugiego, atakując celnie i szybko. Sideswipe natomiast posługiwał się siłą i energią, wdzierając się we wrogów i zadając ciosy, które wyrzucały ich w powietrze. Współpracowali ze sobą jak dobrze naoliwiona maszyna, przewyższając przeciwników swoją umiejętnością i zgraniem. Mimo że przeciwnicy próbowali się bronić, Blurr i Sideswipe nie zwalniali tempa. Ich ataki były szybkie i celne, trafiając dokładnie w słabe punkty przeciwników. Niezłomna determinacja chłopców sprawiła, że w końcu przełamali obronę wroga, obezwładniając każdego, kto stanął im na drodze. Pomimo przewagi liczebnej przeciwników, oboje pokonali ich wszystkich, pozostając na końcu jako zwycięzcy tej zaciętej walki

Oboje ich unieruchomili  i zostawili przed statkiem. Kiedy Sideswipe dzwonił, aby zawiadomić policję o złapaniu złodziei, Blurr podjechał autem. Załadował na przyczepę, którą zabrał od złodzieje swoje skradzione dobra. Po czym szybko oboje obaj odjechali, przez wejście które Blurr wcześniej otworzył.

Sides wyskoczył z auta Blurra i przesiadł się na swoje, po czym ruszyli dalej słysząc za sobą jedynie syreny policyjne.

“Mam nadzieję, że tutaj nie mają kamer!” powiedział Blurr.

“Spokojnie nic tu nie ma, jakby mieli kamery, nie musiał bym tutaj notorycznie przyjeżdżać.” powiedział Sideswipe ze skwaszoną miną.

Około kilka kilometrów dalej oboje się zatrzymali. Wtedy Sideswipe wyszedł z auta i się przeciągnął, po czym syknął przez ból który poczuł w swoim lewym ramieniu. Blurr był zaraz za nim.

"To była akcja co nie stary?" Zaśmiał się Sides "Szybką niezobowiązująca walka!"

"Nic ci nie jest stary?" Zapytał zmartwiony Blurr. Widział, że boli coś Sideswipa po walce.

"Nah nic mi nie jest, opatrzę się-" Blurr wepchnął Sideswipa do swojego auta." Czy ciebie do końca po-"

"Spokojnie, tylko cię opatrzę. Nie wyglądasz najlepiej."

"Nie wyglądam najlepiej...? Co masz przez to na myśli? Jest bardzo źle?" Zmartwił się.

Blurr jedynie zachichotał, po czym ściągnął górną część odzieży Sideswipa. Zarumienił się na widok wysportowanego acz nadal bardzo delikatnego ciała chłopaka. Miał wręcz niewidoczne blond włoski na skórze. Delikatne rozcięcia na jego ciele sączyły krwią.

"No co? Onieśmielam cię swoim ciałem greckiego boga?" Zaśmiał się szarmancko.

"C-co? Nie!" Zawstydził się i zaczął oczyszczać jego rany.

Przez chwili utknęli w niezręcznej ciszy, Blurr skupił się na opatrywaniu Sideswipa, sam chłopak rzucał wzrok raz na niebo, a raz na apteczkę Blurra, która miała lepsza zawartość niż to czego używał Fixit by wyciągnąć kolec z okolic intymnych Bumblebee.

"Musimy tak częściej robić stary, tylko ty i ja, nikogo więcej! Tym bardziej nie Strongarm..." Westchnął uśmiechając się i przymykając oczy.

"Ona jest tą twoją dziewczyną...?" zapytał w desperacji.

"Nie do końca, póki co uważam, że jesteśmy w ‘situation ship’, chociaż Drift mówi że taki coś nie istnieje." Spojrzał na Blurra." Staram się jak mogę, żeby w końcu się mną zainteresowała, ale póki co warzywa się na mnie bo tatusiowie jej nie kochali. Chciał bym, żeby chociaż przez sekundę zależało jej na mnie..."

"Czyli nie jesteście razem?" Poczuł znowu nadzieję w jego sercu.

"Teoretycznie nie, ale mimo wszystko już tak o niej mówię, żebym mógł powiedzieć 'a nie mówiłem?' na koniec."Uśmiechnął się, będąc pewny, że tak na pewno będzie.

"Ah! Świetnie! Cudownie!"powiedział ucieszony kończąc nakładać plastry.

"Wiedziałem, że mnie poprzez stary. To nasze drugie spotkanie, a już na takich samych falach nadajemy." poklepał go po plecach ucieszony.

"Oczywiście, że tak stary!" przełknął ślinę w niepewności." A może stary chciałbyś się spotkać, ze mną tak za tydzień u mnie? Mamy festyn w Griffin Rock i wiesz, fajnie by było no wiesz."

"O Boże czy ty mnie zapraszasz na clubbing? Tak, oczywiście, że tak!” stwierdził ucieszony.” Nikt mnie jeszcze w życiu nie zaprosił na clubbing”

“Czyli jestem pierwszym szczęśliwcem.” wysłał mu swój szarmancki uśmiech, po czym dostał kuksa od Sideswipa w ramię.

Na te słowa czerwonowłosego chłopaka, Blurr poczuł przypływ euforii. Nie wierzył, że naprawdę udało mu się to dokonać. Nie mógł uwierzyć w sam fakt, że jest tutaj teraz tak blisko Sideswipa, który chce być jego najbliższym kumplem, a jak nawet może kiedyś kimś więcej, w to przynajmniej chciał wierzyć Blurr w tym momencie. Nawet teraz czuł, że nie może doczekać przyszłego tygodnia.

[raes-writing-space]

Matthew Anderson x Reader *Healing Inner Child Comfort*

Warnings: Childhood trauma, however kept rather vague and generalized. Not beta read.

Summary: After having to take care and deal with so many traumatic things at a young age, it's made you feel like an adult, even when you weren't. Now that you are an adult, looking back and realizing you couldn't just be a kid and have a normal childhood really upsets you. Matthew comforts the character and shows them that while it might not be the same, it's still possible to just act like a kid and heal your inner child.

Word Count: 2,620

A/N: Reader isn't exactly Mika, and I spaced out the time from the first game between Malix and Diana it took a little over a month, because having the events happening within a week is wild to me.

Can you tell I'm a bit biased based on the word count? Also, I was just rereading my other drabble I wrote for him and didn't realize how similar these are (in which tag is involved). So maybe one day I might come back to this and do it a bit differently, but who knows. Expect the next prompt with Matthew to either be really short or really long, because again, it is kind of based off of my own experiences. So I might get way into it, or keep it short to avoid myself from getting triggered. I guess we'll see!

Story under the cut to save space/scroll time!

Things had already started settling into a new normal in the mansion that your grandfather left you in his will. While things were a bit chaotic at first, finding bloodied incubi men on the floor wasn't ideal, nor did it make sense to you at first. But now? You can't imagine anything different, the five brothers really opened up your eyes to a whole new world besides the one you were used to. They had made you breakfast this morning, like they typically did to show you gratitude for letting them stay there after the events with both Malix and Diana.

However, as everyone was starting to clean up Sam and Matthew had seemed to start bickering with each other, over what exactly? You didn't exactly catch it, but it did lead to Matthew starting an unspoken game of tag between him and his brothers. While James seemed to stay out of it, but had a small smile on his features showing his true feelings. Eric and Damien had joined in, laughing for a moment before James seemed to put an end to it so that they could all finish cleaning up.

As you watched, for some reason it made you feel a bit envious. At first, you didn't quite understand why you felt that way. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you couldn't remember the last time you had played tag. You were sure you had played tag at some point, but as you tried to recall the memory, only the memories of your childhood that you could remember were of things you wished you could forget.

This only lead you to think about it more, surely there had to have been a happy childhood memory in there somewhere. You had some friends in your elementary school days, and you remember being outside at recess. But what did you do during recess? You remember being on the swings quite often, and watching the other kids around you playing, and you remember being on the monkey bars, but those were all things that you remembered doing alone. The envy within you started to turn into bitter sadness, you remembered how hard it was to get birthday party invites, and if it was a sleepover, you usually couldn't go, or stay for the whole night.

The traumas you experienced as a kids started to bubble up more and more as you thought about it, and you could remember having to hold yourself differently. You always had to take care of someone, or fix something that shouldn't have been your problem at such a young age. You started to realize just how fast you had to grow up, how you started to see the world different even as a child, and how you had to learn how to survive at such a young age. That eventually, it seemed like birthday parties and whether or not you were invited to play soccer with the other kids all became secondary to your other list of priorities. Getting good grades in school, doing your chores at home, making sure to watch your tone around your parents, and how to determine what set of footsteps approached your bedroom door became the new set of priorities for you.

"Mx? Are you okay?" James seemed to question, snapping you back into your reality.

You didn't even know that you had started crying, suddenly feeling so angry that you started shaking. Now that you were an adult and away from your parents, your childhood home, your past, it finally hit you all at once just how much you missed out on. You couldn't even seem to answer James, simply shaking your head, before suddenly taking your leave to get some fresh air before it somehow got worse. You weren't mad at the boys for playing around, you were mad at the fact that you didn't seem to know how to ask to join in, how to be child again, instead of the paranoid adult you grew up to be. You were mad that you missed out on a whole childhood that you couldn't get back, and now it's too late to do anything about it.

It felt like grief to you, similar to the grief you felt when your grandfather passed. But this time, it felt as if you grieving over a potential life you could have had. Grieving the child version of yourself that deserved better, and never was able to get it by the time that childhood was over.

It was Matthew who came out first to try and comfort you, they all seemed to want to, but you had grown close to Matthew in a way you didn't quite realize until that moment. You enjoyed his company because of how "childish" he seemed to be, despite being able to hold his own fair share of responsibility and wisdom. You wished you could be more like him in that way, being able to just let go and have fun, instead of holding yourself back all because of how you were raised. Maybe Damien told them what you had been thinking about at the time, and they decided that maybe it was best for Matthew to be the one to come out to you. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure you were alright on his own accord.

"Hey, (Y/N)." Matthew greeted at first, "Do you mind if I stay out here with you?"

You simply shrugged at first, unsure of how to feel. You knew there would have to be a conversation about how you were feeling at some point. Being vulnerable was always a bit tough for you, having to always keep it together for the sake of your family.

"Take your time, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Matthew added, not trying to pressure you into a conversation you were ready to have yet.

"It's hard to explain." You simply shook your head at first, not knowing where to begin, and not exactly wanting to spill your whole life story to him in order to explain.

"Then don't explain, not yet any way… Do you want to play tag with me?" Matthew suddenly questioned, catching you a bit off guard.

"What?" You asked, but it was pointless to ask, as Matthew suddenly approached you and touched you, yelling "Tag! You're it!" before running away from you.

It took you a moment to process what had happened, before you started to walk towards him at first. He smiled, walking backwards away from you, waiting to see if you would suddenly stop, or decide to chase after him. After a moment, you picked up your pace, feeling unsure about what was happening but still trying to go after him anyway. Soon, Matthew took off running again, and you couldn't help but feel the need to stop. It felt a bit silly to you to be playing a game of tag. A couple of minutes had passed, before you felt a voice suddenly come from behind you.

"Are you going to tag me?" Matthew questioned, as you quickly turned around, a bit surprised, and yet, still reaching out for him to attempt to tag him anyway.

He laughed, dodging out of the way, before you squinted your eyes at him dodging out of the way and attempting to tag him again. He was so close to you, how could you not tag him? Yes, it felt silly, but if he was going to tease you about it, at least you could make an attempt to try. It seemed like mere inches were keeping the two of you separated, before you finally decided to chase after him and finally tagging him.

"Tag! Finally!" You shouted, sounding a bit exasperated, making Matthew laugh at your reaction.

However, it took half a second for him to tag you again, as you forgot that it was now your turn to run.

"Tag! New rule, no tag backs." Matthew smirked.

"What? That's not fair, you just tagged me back!" You defended, tagging him back.

"Fine, I'll give you one freebie, but now there's no tag backs!" Matthew stated, as he seemed to run back inside the house.

Within a second you saw Eric coming outside chasing Matthew, who only stopped when he saw you and started to run towards you. You assumed it was out of pure instinct more than a cooperation to playing that you ran away from him. Eric did seem a lot more threatening when he was suddenly chasing after you suddenly, when you had just been standing mindlessly a second ago. It took a second, before Eric tagged you, you thought maybe it was unfair, unsure if it was simply his long legs giving him the advantage, or the fact that they were a completely different species with different advantages than you. As soon as you were tagged, you looked around, Matthew couldn't have possibly known that you were it now, right? Would he even trust you if you approached him anyway? Then you smirked, heading inside calmly. You tried to clear your mind of your little plan, just in case Damien wanted to rat you out, as you found Sam first. Sam didn't think much of anything, before you tagged him, as you announced the "No tag backs!" rule quickly, which gave you a head start.

"Aw, what!?" Sam groaned, before he ran towards Damien, who did happen to hear his thoughts and already had a head start before Sam could even process where his brother could be.

This game of tag seemed to last for at least thirty minutes, but it felt more like two hours. You were out of breath, and at times you had even given up on running all together, opting for a casual stroll instead and accepting your fate. At some point you had to call "times" to get a drink of water, and encouraged the others to get their water break too, and that they'd all have at least ten seconds to run before the game started up again.

As much as James had tried to avoid the inevitable, even telling his brothers that he wasn't interested in playing, when it came to you, he eventually gave in and finally let you tag him. You felt even more excited, running outside and yelling to everyone else that James was it. This only seemed to make the brothers up the stakes when it came to each other, but always made sure to at least slow themselves down when it came to you.

When your feet finally started to hurt, you collapsed onto the soft grass with a laugh. You couldn't help but start crying again in the midst of your laughter, suddenly overcome with a sense of nostalgia and happiness. Matthew collapsed next to you not too long after.

"I'm not it, I swear! We should team up and go hide from them and see how long it takes for them to notice and find us." Matthew suggested, as you simply nodded at first, wiping your tears away for a moment.

You followed him, telling him how you had found out that the mansion had a small secret side room in the library. Immediately the two of you snuck around to try and make it to the library without getting noticed by the others. Matthew was your lookout when you entered the library and opened up the secret room, motioning for him to follow in quickly. An automatic light seemed to flick on in the room, as you had closed the door behind the two of you. It was nice to get a bit of a breather from running, you never had really thought about hiding during a game of tag before.

"Thank you." You simply told him at first, as it was just the first thing on your side.

"Yeah, I just wanted you to feel included." He simply replied, and you couldn't help but think that he wasn't completely being truthful about his intentions about his game of tag.

"I didn't really get this a lot growing up." You started, hoping to ease into why you had been upset earlier.

"We didn't either…" Matthew sympathized, and you couldn't help but forget that they didn't have the best life back in the Abyssal Plains.

"Do you ever get angry that you didn't get a childhood?"

"Things are a bit different in the Abyssal Plains… Growing up, we didn't really think about it much. We did get to play with each other sometimes, but I imagine it wasn't like how you guys played as children here."

"That makes sense… When I saw you guys playing tag earlier, I just couldn't help but wonder when the last time I had played tag was, and my memories just continued to disappoint me." You confessed, "I didn't realize just how fast I had to grow up as a child…"

"I'm sorry to hear that… I really am."

You simply nodded as a response at first, "I just can't help but grieve a childhood I never had, I'm sure I'll get over it eventually…" you shrugged.

"You might have missed out of your childhood, but that doesn't mean you can't make your adulthood something your child self could be proud of and have fun with." Matthew stated, as he was fidgeting with some of the random dusty stuff in the room.

"Where would I even start?" You couldn't help but ask, it was supposed to be rhetorical, but he turned and smiled at you anyway.

"Well, I think you already started."

You smiled, feeling a sense of comfort at his words. You did feel that earlier, that happiness and nostalgia. Maybe it wasn't impossible to get those feelings back, to feel comfortable about feeling like a little kid, and making the child version of you proud. There was a moment of comfortable silence while you processed his words.

"Hey, isn't this the book that James was reading yesterday?" Matthew asked, lifting up the book, as you walked over and gently examined the book with him.

It was in fact, not dusty at all, at least compared to the other things in the room. It was just then that they had noticed that one of the leather chairs in the room seemed to not have a spec of dust on it either. Just as they had noticed it, the two of you looked at each other.

"We should leave, just in case." You mentioned "nonchalantly" as you pointed towards the door.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." He agreed, and just as the two of you had began to leave the secret room, James had come into the room.

The two of you froze, "Are you it, James?" Matthew couldn't help but ask him.

"Well, I suppose there's only one way to find out." James seemed to smirk, teasing them both.

"You wouldn't play tag in the library, would you? There's quite a lot of important things in here…" You added, trying to reason with him as you inched closer to the door that lead out to the hallway.

"I wouldn't, you are right about that." James nodded, making you let out a breath.

Before you could process it, Matthew had already taken off running. But just as he had left out to the hallway, Eric had been waiting for him and tagged him making Matthew let out a groan of frustration. This made you, and the two eldest brothers laugh. Just as Matthew had started to come back, you were quick to come up with a new rule.

"The library is off limits!"

[bl4cktourmaline]

(´｡･v･｡｀) — day 1 featuring otori emu

knock knock!

heres some mail!

ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊ 💌

⌨️ᶻᶻᶻ...anon is typing... ♡

↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ !

❝Hii! Can I request a Christmas prompt "let's write letters to Santa!" With emu? Please and thank youuu^_^❞

━━❝Let's write letters to Santa❞

It's almost Christmas day.

It was the middle of December. Christmas was just around the corner. The time of year where on the streets of whole nation is filled with Christmas specials and everyone is on good spirits.

You were watching TV after having dinner, you were starting to get into the winter spirit too when Emu made an unexpected suggestion.

"(name), let's write letters to Santa!" Pink eyes sparkle, holding up two papers with its decorations being Christmas theme "It's be fun!"

"Oh? What brought this up?" You asked, curiously scanning the papers in front of you. The paper was covered with a cute little red and green Christmas tree pattern, little snowman and snowflakes one the other.

"It's just that I saw a lot of kids are writing letters to Santa and they were having so much fun so I want us to try writing our own letters too!"

"This does sound like fun! Okay, let's do it"

Taking the paper from her, you starts writing but then something about the situation was giving you a strong sense of deja vu "Ah, that's right! I remember, didn't we used to do this back in elementary school?"

"Yeah! You remember?" Her smile brightens "I still remember what you wrote back then, I think it was "Dear Santa, I want to eat a chocolate cake?"

"Yeah, I was craving for some cakes while I was writing that" You laughs, brushing your bangs away from your face as you continue to write.

"Done!" She exclaimed, holding her letter up high in front of her.

You look at her in surprised "Woah, that was fast?"

"Hehe, I already know what I want before we start writing!" Emu stood there proudly as if she just won a prize which you couldn't help but smile at her child-like spirit.

"(name), can I use the bathroom?"

"Oh sure, it's on your left"

"Okay~"

And so, Emu walked towards the bathroom.

Leaving you all alone...well, alone with her and your letters that's it.

"..."

Sorry, Emu....! Just a quick peek!

You honestly felt kind of bad as you took a peek at her letter to Santa. Hoping to get some kind of hint as to what she wants for Christmas "Dear Santa, I want to spend more time with (name)...they are always seem really tired, so I want to make they smile every day if I can"

...

You put the letter back down.

"I'm back!" She stopped in her track when she saw the look of your face "Uhh, what's wrong?"

"Emu, do you want to go somewhere with me for Christmas?"

"...!" She gasps, standing there in disbelief before a huge grin begin to bloom "Yes!"

(っ'-')╮=͟͟͞͞💌 You receive a letter from Santa Yue!

↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ !

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

yahoo~! It's a first for me to write a fic for our beloved emu so I hope you enjoy day 1 of christmas! Wrote this when I'm still sick and still am as you are reading this haha, just glad I make it on time!!

Page 1↬Next Page

[skyward-floored]

I’ll be real I’m intimidated, not cuz I think of you as a “big blog”, but because my whole style of making friends never changed much from elementary school when it was “hold out [idea for game/cool rock/treat/thing I wrote] and hope the person keeps talking to you” and that’s way harder to do on the internet. Tone doesn’t translate well to text and what might be friendly irl sometimes looks creepery online.

Plus I think in the earlier days of Tumblr a lot of content creators got burned by people trying to pester them for free art/writing and those of us who saw the fallout developed a “don’t bother unless you can contribute” attitude towards people who regularly create content. “Will suggesting this idea be seen as an attempt to mooch?” “Will commenting bother this person and make them not want to participate in the fandom anymore?” “Will this person think I’m trying to use their fame to build my own popularity?” etc.

Just my thoughts. I could be misreading it, as I rarely interact directly with fandom. But I hope you know you are valued and the problem is not you.

Nah I think you’re right, and it’s definitely a hard situation to work through. Internet interactions are tricky, and stuff that would be normal irl can be weird on here, and vice-versa, no matter how much experience you’ve got with it.

And for me at least, there’ve been so many controversies (all stupid) in this particular fandom that it’s just hard for me to reach out to people I’m not familiar with, unless they come to me first. I’ve just been burned too many times. The effort doesn’t seem to be worth it.

That being said though, sometimes you gotta take that leap. I’ve fallen out of it lately due to stuff that’s happened, but I’ve made a lot of friends on here just by saying “I really like what you made here” and just striking up a conversation. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

[sophiiwrites]

sunflower

word count: 3.3k

genre/archetypes: romance, fluff, childhood friends to lovers, childhood, teenagedom (?), high school romance, angst :(

synopsis: the winding path of childhood, friendship, and romance, told through a story that should have lasted longer than it did

notes: i actually wrote this two years ago to post to wattpad (yes, i’ve been trying to post my stories since forever, don’t mind me) but i never did. no, i don’t have a wattpad anymore. yes, i definitely deleted it. but i really liked this work and revamped it to post it to tumblr! it’s really sappy and honestly pretty unrealistic but i like it, it’s cute, it’s whatever haha

and yes, i haven’t posted misadventures of a flower shop yet. shhhhhhh

warnings/potential triggers: death by car accident

hope you enjoy!

“Look!”

Kai ran over to see what Wendy was holding. In her hands were two big, perfect sunflowers. All their petals were intact, and not a leaf was out of place or torn.

“Wow!” Kai exclaimed. “These are really special!” 

“I know, right?” Wendy handed one to him. “Here, this one’s for you!” 

Kai took the sunflower in his hands, looking at the petals and center, marveling at how all the petals were whole. 

“These are super special. You’d better not lose it, Kai!” commanded Wendy. “I don’t think I can find any more perfect sunflowers like this one.”

“I won’t lose it, I promise,” Kai replied. He gently held the sunflower in his hands, like it was made of delicate glass.

Just then, Kai’s gaze fell on a patch of dandelions. He ran over to them, Wendy following him. Together, they each picked one dandelion.

“Let's blow on them together!” Kai exclaimed. Together, he and Wendy blew on them simultaneously, unleashing the dandelion seeds. They watched the seeds float in the air, blown about by the wind.

“Wait, I have an idea! Let’s pick a bunch of dandelions, then blow on them together. Then there’ll be lots of seeds in the air,” Wendy said. They gathered bunches of dandelions in their fists. Simultaneously, they each blew a gust of air onto the dandelions, making the seeds float up towards the sky.

“Let’s dance!” laughed Wendy, as she pulled Kai into the circle of dandelion seeds. Together, they danced in the flurry of dandelion seeds. 

It was a warm afternoon. All around them, dandelions twirled, flowers waved in the breeze, and birds chirped. As they danced, laughed, talked, rolled around, and picked flowers, the soft wind blew and for a glorious hour, it was like nothing else mattered in the world.

They were only 7, but their friendship was blossoming like the sunflowers in the field: sweet, beautiful, and almost perfect.

Wendy and Kai spent most of their elementary school days in the field, chatting, doing homework together, playing, and picking flowers. Sometimes, if it was especially hot, they would go to the town pool to swim for a bit or go to the nearest ice cream parlor for a snack. 

It’s safe to say both of them spent the majority of their days outside when the weather permitted them to. But as they both grew older and their homework load became greater, they stopped spending so much time at the field. Instead, they relocated to Kai or Wendy’s house.

One time at Wendy’s house, Wendy asked a question. 

“Hey, Kai? Do you know what love feels like?” 

Mrs. Simmons, Wendy’s 7th grade English teacher, had asked the question in class. That question was now present on Wendy’s homework, and Wendy needed an answer.

“Hmmm… Do you mean romantic love? Because I don’t know what that feels like,” Kai replied.

“I guess it could be any kind of love,” Wendy mused.

Kai thought for a bit, then smiled. “I know! I think love feels like a sweater.”

Wendy groaned. “Why would love feel like a sweater? A sweater is so normal and boring, and it gets linty and run-down at the end.”

“But that’s the whole point,” Kai replied. “It feels like a sweater because love wraps around you and makes you feel safe, warm, and cozy. It protects you from the cold and it also protects you from harm. A sweater gets linty and run-down towards the end of its life because it’s been used so much, but you don’t throw a sweater away because it’s linty. You pick off the lint and keep wearing it. You keep working on love, too. My parents always say that love isn’t something you should give up on.” 

Wendy stared at him. “Actually, that’s a good analogy.”

“Exactly!” Kai responded, now focused on his math homework.

“I think love feels more like a cup of cocoa. It warms you up from the inside, but it’s also gone quickly unless you keep refilling it. And the sugar to chocolate to milk ratio is super important. You need to find the right balance. How much chocolate, how much sugar, how much milk do you need? You need to keep working on it till you find the perfect balance of everything, like love. Does that make sense?”

“Mmmm.” Kai murmured, completely absorbed in his math homework.

“Thanks. Makes me feel so confident about submitting that answer.” Wendy rolled her eyes. 

Soon, the room was silent again as each worked on their own homework.

But Wendy didn’t forget about their analogies. Kai didn’t either. 

Secretly, both wanted to know what it felt like to be in love. And not the platonic, friendship, family kind of love. They didn’t want to compare love to objects. They wanted real romantic love.

They were both thirteen, and had lost the childlike innocence they once had. Once upon a time, they were frolicking in the fields, lost in fun and delight; now they were growing up, becoming more responsible, and wondering. Wondering about many things.

“Hurry up, Kai!” Wendy said. “It’s the first snowfall of the season! Come on, slowpoke!”

Kai hurried out the front door, wearing his thickest dark winter coat, a black scarf, and a matching black hat. 

“I heard black keeps you warm,” he said as they started off down the street to the field. 

“Really? What about white?” Wendy asked. Kai laughed. 

“White keeps you cold. You’re going to be freezing by the time we come back.” 

“That’s totally fake. I’ll show you!” Wendy exclaimed. She ran ahead of Kai, and Kai started running too. They ran all the way to the field, laughter ringing through the air as they jostled each other to get first place.

Wendy beamed. “Ha! I won! And I’m not cold anymore, am I?” 

At that moment, she was hit by a snowball from Kai. 

“Hey!” Wendy shook off the snow. With her white jacket, white mittens, white snow boots, and white hat, she looked like a polar bear. 

“Hey, you look like a polar bear!” Kai taunted. 

“That’s not even a good insult!” Wendy yelled back, throwing a snowball to Kai’s chest. 

Kai started scooping up snow, faster and faster. They took turns throwing snowballs at each other until they were both wet and covered with snow. Wendy and Kai flopped down to the ground, tired and out of breath.

Kai turned to Wendy. Her face was red, covered with water and a sheen layer of sweat. But Kai didn’t mind. In fact, Kai felt a little bit nervous, although he couldn’t explain why.

Lying next to Wendy was nothing new: after all, they’d been friends since kindergarten. But now, it sparked something new inside. He looked at Wendy and felt warm and cozy all over, even though he was laying in the snow with pants that were soaked through.

“Did you know that the first snow is the snow of love?” Wendy asked. “If you confess your love to someone, you’ll stay together eternally.” 

Kai looked at Wendy. “What, are you going to confess to someone special?”

Wendy shook her head. “There’s no one I want to confess to.” 

As she said that, she frowned a bit. There was something with that sentence that annoyed her. Something that didn’t feel right.

“Hmmm… well, maybe there is someone. Don’t know who it is though.”

“Really?” Kai smiled at Wendy. She didn’t know why, but she felt warm flutterings in her stomach as she looked at Kai. His eyelashes and hair were flecked with snowflakes, accentuating Kai’s eyes and making Wendy think of touching his hair. Wendy furrowed her eyebrows.

“Kai.” Wendy sat up, frowning slightly at him. 

Kai looked at Wendy. As he did, he felt something stirring inside of him. 

Once upon a time, he and Wendy would have held hands and danced and played in the snow. Now, the thought of holding Wendy’s hand sparked an unusual feeling in him. Like they were going to be something more than friends.

“What would it be like to kiss someone? Do you know?” Wendy asked.

“I think… well, I think a kiss is warm,” Kai said, surprising himself. “It’s like… kissing a cup of cocoa. Or something warm in general.” 

“How do you know?” Wendy asked.

“Well, I like warming my hands right? So once I tried warming my lips instead of my hands on a cup of cocoa. And it felt nice. Except the cup was hard, so it wasn’t really like kissing. I mean, lips are soft, right?” Kai laughed nervously.

Wendy stared at him. Her eyes went slightly wide at a certain thought that popped into her brain. To cover, she quickly asked a question. 

“What if you kissed a hand?” Wendy asked nervously. “I mean, that would be soft and warm, right?” She fumbled around for a hand. In her confused and nervous state, she accidentally took Kai’s hand and kissed it. 

Both faces turned red. Wendy’s eyes went wide, and Kai looked away. 

“I- I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking!” Wendy apologized.

“It’s… fine?” Kai responded, as though he was asking a question.

“Um, well, I think we should, um, go,” Wendy stammered. 

Both stood up abruptly, and started walking home, looking at the ground with flushed red cheeks and thoughts they didn’t want to say out loud. 

Being fourteen was confusing to both Wendy and Kai, to say the least. 

“Kai? Wendy’s here!” Kai’s mom yelled up to Kai. Kai flinched, sitting up straight. He could hear footsteps and knew he couldn’t avoid the awkward situation that was about to come.

Ever since the awkward day in the snow fields, Wendy and Kai hadn’t really talked to each other, even though almost a year had passed. Neither of them had been acting the same. Their comfortable silences turned into more awkward silences. They didn’t know what to do or what to say. Because of that, they had slightly drifted apart in their first year of high school. As they joined separate social circles, Wendy and Kai didn’t see each other much anymore. They waved to each other in the hallways and knew they had the same English teacher from short discussions in the lunch line, but they were so busy that they didn’t have much time to talk. And, secretly, they didn’t know what to say.

But also secretly, both wanted to go back to the friendship they had before. As Wendy walked up the stairs, she reiterated to herself this mission, even though she was a bit anxious of seeing Kai. 

Wendy opened the door cautiously, and Kai pulled up a chair, motioning for Wendy to sit. They both stared at each other before talking.

“I-” Wendy started.

“So-” Kai started.

Suddenly, they both laughed, and the tension was broken. 

“Do you want to go first?” Kai asked.

“What did Ms. Jeffords assign for homework? I was out sick,” Wendy asked. 

Kai showed her the assignment, and suddenly, everything seemed to fall into place as they worked together. It was as if nothing had changed. After they finished, a certain bulletin board of Kai’s caught her eye.

One of the photos depicted Wendy and Kai together, making silly faces. Another showed Wendy making the victory sign as she posed after winning her soccer match. The final one showed Kai looking down at a book, twiddling with his pencil.

“Whoa, those photos are good!” Wendy complimented Kai as she stared at them. “Can I take the one of me?” 

“Sure.” Kai said. “Thanks for the compliment.”

Both stood up, and Wendy was about to turn and open the door when she paused. She didn’t want to go yet. She wanted to talk to Kai more. She wanted to work on homework with him and walk through the high school hallways together.

Wendy took a small step towards Kai. Kai furrowed his brows, but just as he was about to ask a question, Wendy took another small step and tripped over a pencil on the ground.

The fall sent her flying towards Kai. Kai put his hands out, trying to stop her from falling. Instead, they were both knocked back onto Kai’s bed, with Wendy landing squarely on him and their lips touching. 

Kai’s lips were soft. Wendy felt his mouth make a slight O of surprise. She blinked, dazed. Thoughts were racing through her head a mile a minute. Had Kai always felt so comforting? Had he always smelled that good? Why was she here again? What was she doing here? Her mom was absolutely going to kill her.

Meanwhile, Kai was going through the exact same thing. Had Wendy always looked so pretty? Had she always had such nice lips? Why was her hair so soft? What was going on? He prayed his mom wouldn’t walk in. He closed his eyes, not wanting to cut the moment short.

Wendy rolled to the side, and Kai’s eyes opened wide. They stared at the ceiling in silence, both faces red as tomatoes.

After a while, Kai opened his mouth to speak.

“Well. You know how kissing feels now, right?”

Wendy laughed. “Yeah- I guess.” 

“How- how was it?” Kai murmured. 

“Wel- Well, it was… fine? Good? Okay?” Wendy’s thoughts failed to form as she regained her composure. 

Kai smiled wanly. 

They stayed like that for a long time, figuring themselves out and sorting their thoughts into neat piles that were ruined every time one of them moved slightly. Their hearts beat almost simultaneously as they tried to regain control.

Kai’s face turned to Wendy’s, and he found Wendy staring at him. 

They were fifteen, yet they felt something new. Something that could blossom into a new, different feeling.

“We’ve returned!” Wendy announced as she and Kai walked to the field where they used to spend all of their time together. 

Kai beamed at her, and she felt the same fluttering she had always felt. They settled down under a willow tree, hiding them from the other people in the field. 

“How do you feel about turning seventeen?” Wendy asked him.

Kai frowned. “It’s kind of scary, I guess. One more year until we turn eighteen.”

As Wendy stared out, she felt two arms snaking around her waist. She turned around to find Kai nesting his head on her neck. 

“This feels nice,” he murmured. 

“Mmm.” Wendy responded. 

Kai pulled her closer. They leaned against each other, watching the sun slowly set.

“Come on,” Wendy said, gently untangling Kai’s arms. “We have to go home now. It’s already 8:30.”

Both stood up, dusting grass off of their legs. Holding hands, they walked slowly across the field to the entrance, and parted ways at the crosswalk. 

“Wait.” Kai said as Wendy was about to walk off. He hugged her quickly and lightly kissed her on the tip of her nose. Wendy’s eyes slightly widened in surprise, and she smiled.

“Bye, Wendy.” Kai said, and the two walked off in opposite directions. Wendy felt like she was walking on air. 

“Hey!”

Kai turned around.

“Meet here? Tomorrow?”

Kai nodded. Wendy smiled.

“Okay, bye! Love you!” 

Kai’s eyes brightened at what he had just heard. Wendy winced as she turned around, realizing the impact of what she had just said. Hoping Kai didn’t hear her, she tried to walk a little faster.

“Wendy!”

Wendy turned around, squirming. She really hoped Kai hadn’t heard what she had just said. It was incredibly embarrassing.

“I love you too!” Kai beamed.

Wendy’s eyes widened, and she smiled back in delight.

“Me too!”

They walked off, for real this time.

Kai walked to a crosswalk, taking out his phone and scrolling to Wendy’s number. That way, he’d remember to text her, to let her know he had gotten home safely. 

He looked up at the fading colors of the sky, the muted yellow and orange fading into purple and blue. He thought he detected the small image of a sunflower formed by the colors. 

“Blue and purple sunflowers. I must be going crazy,” he said out loud. 

He hummed a melody as he walked across the crosswalk. Still a little lovestruck from the exchange of love confessions, Kai didn’t hear the sounds around him change from crickets to the humming of engines. He couldn’t feel the rush of wind gusting towards him by the speed of the tires.

The air around him suddenly lit up, surprising Kai. He turned his head, not comprehending how it was light and not dark. The panic and shock on his face was nothing compared to the panic on the driver’s face. Time seemed to slow down for both. 

Kai saw the truck. A part of his mind realized that he was about to die. Another part told him to run. But he was frozen in the midst of the bright glowing headlights.

The driver tried to swerve to avoid Kai, but it was too late. The front of the car slammed directly into Kai, pushing him onto his back. He blinked, dazed. He could hear a car door opening, and turned his head. He could smell blood and he could feel it. His head felt woozy and dazed. He couldn’t understand anything except for the blinding pain.

The last thing he saw was a sunflower, growing on the side of the road.

Goodbye, Kai thought.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The truck driver was still alive. 

Wendy rushed into the room after Kai’s parents left. Gulping down a sob, she rushed to the chair.

They had cleaned him up, but his wound was clearly still there. 

Wendy knew he was dead. Did she accept that?

No. 

Her logical, reasoning, rational part of her brain said he was dead. He wouldn’t be coming back. Why would he?

But her emotional, empathetic, heart-broken part of her brain said no. No, he wasn’t dead. Tomorrow morning he’d wake up, and he’d be injured, but he’d be fine. Right? Wasn’t that what happened in the books? 

She was so hopeless she had actually considered trying the “true love’s kiss” she always saw in movies. 

They were burying him tomorrow. The ambulance had arrived about 10 minutes after it had happened. They had rushed him to the hospital, and tried to revive him- but they had failed. 

Wendy gulped back another sob, but this time the tears came back, flowing down her face.

“I’m sorry.” she whispered. “I should have been there. I- I thought you knew how to walk home alone, it wasn’t my fault!” Wendy lightly punched Kai in the shoulder before dissolving. Her tears fell like raindrops on the pristine white blanket covering Kai. 

“You can’t be dead.” she sobbed out. “Kai, you can’t be dead. You’re sixteen. You aren’t even old enough to drink yet.” 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Wendy finally said. “You weren’t supposed to die. We were supposed to go to college together!” Her tears flowed down her cheeks and dripped onto her jeans. 

Wendy knelt down on the floor, sobbing. She stayed there for a long time, tears rolling down her face and soaking the bed sheets. 

At last, the tears stopped flowing and Wendy stopped gasping for air. She looked at Kai, his face serene. His eyes were closed, but Wendy knew behind his eyelids laid dark brown eyes which used to be full of emotions. His hands laid beside him, cold and still, but Wendy knew that they used to be warm and comforting.

As the nurses tapped on the door, Wendy got up. She took a deep breath, then walked to the door. As she turned the handle, she looked back at Kai for a second. He looked otherworldly, lying there with the monitor silent and the white sheets all around him. 

The tears dripped on the floor as Wendy raced out. Her heart had been shattered into pieces, never to be repaired fully. A piece had been taken by the boy who laid there.

Once upon a time, there had been a boy, full of life and positivity. Now there was only a boy lying in a stark white room surrounded by pristine sheets, dead to the world. Once upon a time, there had been a girl, full of happiness and mischief. Now there was only a girl racing out of the hospital, tears flowing and heart broken.

[ruvinic]

😇 , 😺 , 🧸 !!

I… wrote so many words I’m sorry

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

Another where I have too many!!

I think she and Kipperlilly were childhood friends, they’ve just known each other so long they don’t know how not to be friends- the murder of Lucy and later the death of Kipperlilly are the first time in ages each of them had to live without the other. She became besties with Ruben in middle school but never really hung out with Ruben and Kipperlilly at the same time until freshman year (also when she met the rest of the party)

Big sitting on the playground picking grass energy, liked to build little houses out of rocks and dirt

Just as her frost genasi traits were starting to show themselves, she started to have a problem where she’d just… cry, a lot, without even realising tears were running down her face until someone pointed out they were freezing into crystals. It went on for like a week and to this day it’s told as a weird little “yeah we went to the doctor and they said it was fine so who knows” story by her parents.

When she was small she had a really bad bout of some illness (glandular fever later resulting in chronic fatigue maybe? Little kids are slobbery it could spread easy) and it stressed her parents out a ton, now she doesn’t like telling people when she’s not feeling well because she doesn’t want to make them upset

In elementary school she was a wolf girl and she still has a very old tattered plush of one. It lives on her desk

She was a little late on a lot of developmental milestones and still has poor coordination, things like tying her shoes and learning to write were big struggles

😺 An animal related headcanon

Over time she became a strong defender of weird/gross/scary animals (and monsters!). Loves a spider or a bug or a slime, thinks basking sharks are cool, has never understood why people find rats creepy.

Initially she went along with the rat grinding, of course, but it started to really weigh on her and part of the reason she never wanted to go for bigger adventures is because she knew they’d just be killing some other animal and it was really hard to think about, she’s someone who has a hard time reconciling her different ideas about whether or not violence is necessary and her time training under Porter exacerbated this. Now the rats are her buddies and her parents have definitely had a bit of a scare walking into her room and seeing her hanging out with the little guys

Bonus: the reason she’s able to revive a bunch of rats without spending slots and diamonds on revivify is because she unintentionally created a special spell when trying to use life transference (it’s called “protect the small” and allows the caster to expend their own hp to revive creatures that only have one hit point. I made it up just now, dms don’t bully me)

She’s a figure in the folklore of rat world, this kind and wonderful giant who spares the lives of tiny creatures, and this would partly be played for comedy if the bad kids found out

😇 A headcanon about their religion/lack thereof

Hoo I’ve thought a lot about what ruvina worship looks like and how Lucy personally relates to it but not come to a lot of solid conclusion,,,

I sort of like to think of it as a non-proselytising religion, maybe not with a strict conversion process but just not actively seeking new followers, and it’s sort of a thing where the slaughtering of so many worshippers throughout history means the remainder have focused on serving their god through powerful devotion rather than raw numbers-

I also imagine that a lot is passed through oral history, contributing to why it was even possible to destroy written record of Ankarna’s name. The whole pantheon is so ancient that it’s not even certain what worship might have looked like thousands of years ago, and there are scholars of Ruvina dedicated to the modern reconstruction of her divine domain- the erasure of Ankarna has to have had a massive ripple effect on Ruvina and the spring and autumn deities, I think in destroying her the entire pantheon crumbled and the deities are far more separate than they would’ve been in ancient times.

I think Ruvina is a sort of “it’s always darkest before the dawn” goddess, a positive connotation around death because it’s the start of rebirth or one link in a cycle of the earth- winter calls you to be still and reflect, to slow down and huddle together and keep what you love close to your heart. Basically an inversion of winter as harsh and cruel and summer as bright and warm, Ankarna’s burning heat creates conviction and Ruvina calls her to ponder, even before Cassandra was introduced and the interplay of doubt and conviction came into focus. I see the autumn and spring deities treated as sort of twins or a chimera, two halves of the idea of transitory periods between the extremes.

For Lucy specifically… I hc her as trans, first of all, and I like to think that a painting or statue of Ruvina lowkey cracked her egg and she’s embarrassed about it. She (non-literally) holds a piece of Ruvina within herself, and her frost genasi attributes started manifesting after she showed strong connection to the goddess from a young age. Her family are devotees but she’s the first gifted cleric in a long time. She talks to Ruvina constantly and finds the divine in every mundane thing, she visits a small temple but to her the most holy places live at home by the fire, or under snowdrifts, or in the space between people’s hearts when they hold each other.

[theslowhipster]

I think I'm a Pretty Good:tm: Liar?(Inspired by The People's Joker, kinda (not really)) // Queer Trans Ramblings

I want to write something long and beautiful about my thoughts, but I don't know how it's going to come across. (its definitely long though)

Ever since I started living as myself (and for myself), I've been thinking a lot about art that I've created in the past. How I was a happy kid, but underneath all of that I was angry and upset. Content to be the person everyone expected me to be, but never myself. For example, in 5th grade I wrote a short fantasy story using deadname as my self insert. I never felt any closeness to that name, no one ever really called me by it so I thought that was why it felt wrong. But even for the end of the story I couldn't find any happiness for him.

It wasn't a violent end, and it wasn't even his fault. The carelessness of the dragon he trusted with his life flew too high and he could no longer breathe. I remember my teacher at the time showed concern that something was wrong. Most 9 year olds don't write a story where they are the main character, horrible things happen to them, everything is described as awkward and nonsensical, and then they die. But my parents saw their "son" trying really hard to be happy for them and the consensus was "Garnet's just like that."

There feels like there were so many of those moments, too. "Oh no, Garnet's struggling in school, and she thinks it's because she might have ADHD. Let's get her tested," (slightly paraphrased and with different pronouns, obv.) But, once the only people asked were my parents and teachers who I was told later all said some variant on "yeah she could have it, but she's happy and well adjusted." And obviously I don't blame any of them, I was lying about who I was to make the people I cared about most love me.

I was so desperate to be the person they thought I was when I started to come out about my sexual preferences I did it out of anger to hurt my parents. We never really talked about it after the fact, but I know from talking to one of my sisters that they never really believed it. (Jokes on them, I'm a happily married pansexual in a lesbian relationship now). And this anger stayed with me, this frustration that I couldn't put my finger on. I think its what really soured our whole relationship in my teenage years.

When I left for college I was so happy and excited, I could redefine who I was, for myself this time. But after about 6 months, I started feeling trapped all over again and stopped going to classes. I was still trying to be "Garnet" the son that my parents loved and it was destroying me. Eventually, my behavior got me kicked out of school because I had failed literally every single class I was in for two quarters in a row. Because I missed the freedom that being myself gave me, I was determined to earn that back. So I moved back home, and started going to community college with the goal of being myself. That was the first time since probably Elementary school that I had gotten perfect grades.

Eventually I was able to transfer back to university, and reconnected with my at-the-time girlfriend (now wife <3) and started taking classes for an entirely different degree than the one I had originally intended, thinking this would be what fixed me. The following academic year I got an apartment off campus and got serious about my education. I had done it, I'd become the right version of me. Or at least I thought I had.

I ended up making (what I thought was) a friend during my studies; we were in the same major, liked all the same things, and they felt punk and queer as could be. Exactly the kind of community I had tried to build in high school. We'd talk for hours about nerd culture, the darker sides of the internet, and they introduced me to a deeper queer community and furry shit in a way that made all of it way more approachable than in the past. Like the dragon in the story I'd written almost a decade earlier, because of them I was able to see everything from a new perspective that felt more authentic.

But like any dragon, being around them is harmful to your health. While they were (knowingly or not) pushing me to be my most authentic self, they were also trying to separate me from my girlfriend. Verbally abusing them in what I now assume was a desperate attempt to have me all to themselves (something I saw them do to others and thought nothing of it because we were friends and I thought there was no way they'd do that to me). Eventually, they brought me "high" enough that I started to see some of the cracks in myself. How I was still not happy, even though I had everything I thought I'd ever want. Eventually I came out to them as questioning my gender, and they were very supportive; but before I could figure out exactly what it was we stopped being friends and I found out everything that they had been doing behind my back.

We had finally reached the end of [REDACTED]'s story, he was blacking out due to lack of oxygen. The same end I had predicted 14 years prior, lifted up by someone he trusted to the point where he was so changed he was dead. And you would think that it is would be a sad ending, but he was never a happy person and honestly? I think this was the best ending he could've gotten.

Thankfully I still had other friends around me who could act as a pseudo parachute in this metaphor. [REDACTED] had died, and Jemma came back in his place. But also, she was there the whole time. When I was writing the story, I always knew that this wasn't the end of that character. I had always lied to myself and said that he survived it, that he only blacked out and eventually came to. But I think that deep down, I knew that this was a metaphor for becoming who I was always meant to be. That sometimes we have to destroy the parts of us that aren't really ourselves in order to be happy.

My story still isn't over, but at least now I feel like myself, and I know why everything felt wrong. I still have some things I need to work out, but at least I know why social settings are so hard and I know why I hated looking at myself in the mirror (before a few days ago, the last time I remember seeing someone I recognized as myself in the mirror was when I was six years old). I also now know why I fall so hard and so fast with so many people all at once, and have a loving wife who supports me in exploring that. I don't think I would have any of this though, unless [REDACTED] had died and I took his place.

[salty-professor]

You should know this already

So, I have several degrees. This isn't a humble brag. It is what is required to teach in Higher Ed. I did the work. I earned the degrees. I was a student over and over and I learned and I learned so that I could, one day, like say, today, impart my knowledge to a student who wishes to learn from me. Maybe not me per se but someone like me. Someone who is an expert in a particular field who can help people become better at something.

This is the job I do. This is the job I just did ten minutes before I sat down to write this. I have a student who is riding the struggle bus at the moment with this unit's concepts. To help out, I've spoken to her, met with her virtually, chatted with her on the phone, and today, replied with a detailed email.

I have the privilege to do my job, but I worked my ass off and made huge mistakes along the way and now, here I am, in the Ivory Tower, trying to take it apart bit by bit so that it can be built again, stronger than before.

I teach. That is what I do. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I am a professor who doesn't profess. I teach. I like to actually find out what my students need and I work with them to crack the code. Does it take more time? Yeah. It does. Is it the right thing to do? I mean, I guess it depends on each person who sits on my side of the desk, but I think this is the job.

A few things drive me crazy about my colleagues. OK. Way more than a few. I wrote a whole book about it because my list is so long. I should say ONE of the things that drives me crazy is when one of them says to a student "You should know this already."

For those who have never been insulted with this bullshit line, here is what it sounds like.

Student: Um...Professor Fuckhead, I am really struggling with subject/verb agreement. You keep telling me that I am doing it wrong, but I just don't really get what you are saying. Professor Fuckhead: That was something you should have learned in elementary school at best or middle school at worst. I don't have time for that. I'm not teaching you English, I'm teaching you how to write effectively.

Yeah, so, Professor Fuckhead isn't wrong about a lot of that, BUT, he should take a few minutes to help out. He totally has the time. The class only meets 2.5 hours per week. All kinds of fucking time. Beside, the fact remains the student doesn't know it and s/he/y is asking for help. So, it is Fuckhead's fucking job to help. I'm not suggesting that Fuckhead needs to set up private tutoring sessions for this struggling student, but the internet is vast and the resources are free.

If it were me, I would say something like:

Page 22 in the free handbook I send you all on day one of the class should give you a lot of insight. Also, Grammar Girl has some excellent videos and resources that can help you refresh your skills. Let's look at a few instances in your writing where you are doing it wrong and then you can look at the resources and you can try to find the others in your paper. I'm not going to fix them for you, but I will show you how you can fix them.

I didn't shame the student. I didn't put up a wall. I didn't do the work for h/er/m either. I gave some help. I showed the student how to fix the problem and shared some resources because, yes, the student should know this already. This is college BUT s/he/y is struggling.

I know I can pass the course I am teaching. That is sort of the point of getting all the degrees. At some point, someone with more degrees than me took a moment to explain things to me that I didn't know even if I "should" have known it.

The world is big and our brains are stuffed with a lot of shit. I know that Brian May is both a rock god AND an astrophysicist. Is that helpful? No. Could I have used that mental space to remember something someone taught me when I was 9? Maybe.

Instead, I listened to Queen and then I asked a question of someone who knew more than me and while I was told on many occasions by Professor Fuckhead that I should know that already, thankfully, I had plenty of teachers who decided to take five minutes to help me out. Seems only right that I pay that forward.

#educationisaright

[tiptapricot]

Happy 1000 followers! That's definitely a number worth celebrating :D. Here are some asks for your Ask Game; don't worry about answering them all, these are just some questions I thought of, free free to answer whichever ones you want to. :3

What got you into writing?

Is there any books or piece of media that inspired your style of writing, or did it develop in some other way?

What character(s) do you enjoy writing the most and why?

Are there any character(s) or fandom(s) you love that you'd love to write for but never have?

Are there any hobbies or interests you have that you find leak into and/or influence your stories?

When did you embrace the ways of the apricot? (That is to say, when and why did you commit to the bit and start creating your marvellous collection of apricot icons?).

Hope you're doing well :). Enjoy your fame, my friend! 🧡🧡🧡

I will answer 🔥 ☠️ ALL OF THEM 🎸🔥 *sick riff*

What got you into writing?

I don’t really remember a specific point of Getting Into It, because (and this def plays a part) my dad is a writer! He’s written for some video games and has some short stories published, so I grew up with him reading me books and writing his own manuscripts/engaging us in that way. He never like Guided me into writing but it was always a natural presence and I was exposed to a lot of stories early on.

We did nanowrimo in elementary school, and I also made comics when I was younger that were my own narratives and things, and I did a few small stories for other classes along the way, but when I started Really doing it more intentionally was when I got into fic writing. Which… what got me into that was I think like… danganronpa self insert things? That’s my ultimate lost fic. I wrote it in the notes app in middle school and it was super long and then I hated it and deleted it all and I’m SO MAD ABOUT IT because IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY TO LOOK BACK ON NOW! It was kind of just a natural progression though I guess? When I started reading fic more and being online more and getting into more media, I wanted to create for it since I’d already been doing that sort of thing (most comics I did were inspired by superhero shows I watched or DND games I played) so I stated posting. And then I did more original stories for school and started making ocs and it just sorta settled into being part of what I do.

Is there any books or piece of media that inspired your style of writing, or did it develop in some other way?

None consciously? And I can’t really trace my style to anything in specific, but there’s def got to be some input from the books I grew up on. Stuff like series of unfortunate events, larklight, the leviathan trilogy, the keys to the kingdom series, the Roman mysteries series, the Lockwood and co series, Harry Potter to an extent, etc. all were things that I was exposed to growing up. I don’t think I’ve really picked up the quippy narration a lot of those have, but I know they shaped some ideas of description and imagery I do now, at least in inspo. But I guess on a whole it just sort of developed naturally? I really don’t have a very conscious writing process half the time 😭

What character(s) do you enjoy writing the most and why?

At the moment and also in general I like characters that have strong voices. They make the prose pop for me, make it easy to find fun descriptions and forms of speech. Bill and Ted and Steven Grant definitely come to mind immediately as like. When I get to write them stuff just goes fast because I know how they’d talk and narrate and react and it feels like something very solid to shape and work with. So accents? I guess? But on a larger sense of just characters I Like Writing… MK system are all very fun and I really enjoy getting to explore their dynamics and reactions. If I ever get my hands on Din Djarin for a fic (finally) I think I’ll have a good time with him, but idk. I think it’s very dependent on the interests I’m into at the time, as those will be the characters I’m the most excited to engage with and create for, so it varies!

Are there any character(s) or fandom(s) you love that you'd love to write for but never have?

THE ZETA PROJECTTTT!!! AND ALSO MORE OF LEGION 2006 ANDDD THE DCAU ANDDDD MORE LUKE N DIN N ORIGINAL TRILOGY CAST AND THE DAREDEVIL NETFLIX CAST AND MISS FISHERS MURDER MYSTERIES AND TIGER AND BUNNY AND— Ahem. Yes there are and they torment me every day wanting to get to create for them but having finite brain space and time space makes writing everything all the time… a bit hard. I kind of want to do a like niche interest power hour week or somth where I take fandoms I haven’t written for and make a small piece for them—WOLF 359 ALSO GOOD GOD!!!!!!!! But I don’t know when that will be.

Are there any hobbies or interests you have that you find leak into and/or influence your stories?

Not generally, but whenever I’m writing a character as having an interest in something or really liking something in depth it often has to be something I’m also into for me to be able to do research on it. This can mean I sometimes have to find middle grounds between what a character might find fascinating and what I find fascinating, so sometimes my interests are directly or indirectly in stories. Lost media I know has made it in a few times, and so has sci fi and superheroes and action figures. I don’t really have a whole ton of hobbies that are easy to slot in or draw from on a large scale otherwise, as niche toy collecting, a love for stickers and earrings and clown paraphernalia, and performing arts are only applicable under certain circumstances.

INTERESTS is a whole diff thing. My monster/inhuman character love, my love for certain genres or aesthetics, etc. influences ALLLLL of my OCs and a lot of my fics. Stuff that focuses on loving the strange, or the inanimate, or the weird crossover between the two is in a lot of my work (and will be in more haha) but definitely colors the types of stories I want to do, and the original content I end up making outside of fic.

When did you embrace the ways of the apricot? (That is to say, when and why did you commit to the bit and start creating your marvellous collection of apricot icons?).

THIS ACTUALLY HAS DOCUMENTABLE HISTORY!! Ok so.

The username Tiptapricot was what I came up with when I made my Minecraft account in elementary school. I liked apricots and peaches and plums and stuff (still do) so that was part of it, but I was also into semi-tap dancing (AKA being a young kid with some cheap tap shoes from somewhere and doing performances) so tip-tap and apricot combined and… there we were. It became my standard name on sites when I had to make accounts (bar like animal jam I think because it was maybe made earlier), since it was never taken and it was unique enough to slot in.

I guess as I was maybe making an Instagram account or going into highschool or just… for some reason, my sister @dimidarling wanted to make me a cute icon and, based off my username, drew me a little apricot with a face for one! This created what I now call… Prototip on July 14th, 2019

This icon was very cute and I loved it a lot, but it wasn’t quite the vibe I was wanting for myself, so I ended up getting a PNG of an apricot, slapping it on a blue background from looking up “light blue” on Google, and drawing a little face on it. That became the Default Base Tip as is seen in my icon most places, in December of 2019

FUN FACT you will never unsee after I say it: I think at some point I resized or re-edited the image or something, and I wanted to carry over the original face I had drawn on it, so I ended up cutting it out and pasting it over a face I didn’t like as much, and on the left side of Tip’s face (our right) u can see this tinyyy little black mark showing the edge of the main face cut out because I didn’t get it perfectly covered or aligned. I’m sorry in advance.

ANYWAY! So base Tip was made. I don’t remember the following order of events, but still being in my kpop phase in late 2019 I got Twitter briefly and made a Tiptapricot account there. And having an apricot with a face I thought: wouldn’t it be so funny if I was a gimmick account that pretended to be a real life apricot tweeting? So I did that for like a little bit. And then I went: wouldn’t it make the bit even better if this apricot was appropriately apricot aged? And long story short I changed my age to be a year old, then realized that would probably be bad legally, but when changing it back to my actual birthday, Twitter freaked out and banned me for messing around with my age and not being old enough when I made an account (even though I was at the time) so I got booted off Twitter. (And I’m glad about that can you imagine if I had settled in there instead oh lord) But the seed for apricot jokes was planted!

From there it happened somewhat naturally as a way to either make reaction images for friends online without sending my face, or to change my icon to play along with a funny joke. I made edits for friends in the DC fandom and for jokes we had running about each other going to jail or like “I’m gonna beat you up” or whatever, and joined along with a growing bit of giving me Tip related names, it became something I Did.

Now my Tip folder is 200 images strong and my mascot/sona/little guy is somth I actually care a lot about and have a lot of fondness for as a way to express goofy stuff and emotions in a way that’s simple to draw and feels rly truly me.

And there you have it :-D The Ti(nfodum)p

Ty for the questions Charlie, they were super fun to answer!!

(IDs in ALT)

1000 follower celebration

[tansyuduri]

How old were you when you started to write?

Hi nonny thanks for the ask I love em! Ok, this is a complicated question! So I made my first fantasy word at 2. I named it goo-goo land because I was aware I should have been saying good goo gaga at that age and I was full on talking instead.

My mom tells a story from preschool where they had all the kids write a story and draw a picture. Every kid had one or two sentences, I had an entire story and lost it when they would not write it down, Mom had to do it for me when I got home I wrote stories in elementary school! Short things mostly or Incomplete. This continued through jr high, Then in high school, I discovered fandom and fanfiction and roleplay. I never finished a fanfic but I wrote lots of bits and pieces and some original stuff in this era too! (I had an Alphasmart I would take everywhere) So I guess you could call that my true start? My first finished long fic was in my mid 20s. (It was my only one until recently) I was having a whole slew of mental illnesses affecting me at the time. (I mean I still do but it was worse then) Then I had a mental health crisis that required a treatment that created brain fog and when that was finally over I had some strange (we think) genetic condition with high ammonia strike that basically took away a third of my creativity. I stopped fic writing and focused on rp.

But I swore then to myself that if I could ever write again sometime I would not let the anxiety and insecurites that stoped me in the past stop me again.

Last November I realized I could write again. And so I kept my promise. Writing is different from before. But I've also wrote more than I ever had. I have an 88k fanfic I'm publishing chapters of, a 49K one in beta and yet another I'm working on the rough write of right now! I didn't know exactly what you meant by start writing so I decided to share my many starts?

[hoshi-y]

When they cheat on you

Genre : Angst

Characters : Yugi Amane, Minamoto Kou, Aoi Akane

TW : None

A/N : None

Yugi Amane

You were like any other he would admire.

He acted a bit more distant

cold even.

You couldn't understand this new behavior of his

maybe men do have periods?!?

kidding, maybe he was in a bad mood or had a bad day !

So you decided to make your boyfriend homemade donuts to cheer him up ❤️

Went out of your way to buy ingredients to make his favorite homemade donuts, and even made paper stars all day and wrote a wish in each strip and but it in a small jar

After you were done, you set off to his house !

It was a lovely afternoon, elementary students walking home, the elderly chatting outside, and kids playing outside

heh..

You wanted to surprise him ! so you didn't tell him you were coming to his house

you began to walk faster to his house, wanting to see his reaction with your gift in hand

But a much bigger surprise was yet to come

His parents already knew of your relationship, and is really fond of you, so they let you come in and out of their house

And thats what you did

You noticed another pair of shoes outside his house

Womens, school shoes to be exact.

Anxious, you quickly took off your shoes and went inside

"Amane?" You called, as you put down the cutely decorated box that had the homemade donuts in, and the jar of stars on the table

No answer.

Weird, he doesnt have soccer practice, nor has any due projects

But you can hear the tv in his room playing

You quickly went up the stairs, and opened the door so wide—

"Ammaannee!! surprise! i have something—"

Your smile quickly dropped when you see him cuddling with your own best friend, not to mention they looked so comfy in each others arms.

He finally noticed you and pushed your best friend off and stood up

"[F/N] i can explai—"

you cut him off with a slap on the face.

You didn't know what to do

you we're feeling so many emotions

Anger, Sadness, Confusion, most of all, the feeling of Betrayal

He tried to reach for you but you yanked your hand away

Tears filled your eyes, you ran out of there

Never wanting to see them ever again, you locked yourself in your bedroom

The image of your best friend, and your boyfriend, being in each others arms will forever burn in your mind

He was your light, your moon, your everything yet he didn't feel the same, He looked at you as if you were any other star he would admire

you don't know how to face him now.

Minamoto Kou

How could you do this to me.

Honestly, You couldn't think of any possible way on how he would cheat on you, he was a ball of sunshine !

But of course, not everything about him is all sunshine and rainbows

He started to pay less and less time with you, always giving out excuses

"Sorry [F/N], I'm busy at the moment, i promise ill make it up!" excuses. "Ahh i forgot, im sorry.." Excuses. "Im busy sorry, maybe next time"

Excuses, just a whole bunch of excuses.

you don't know how long you can keep eating on his excuses

so today was the day your gonna force him to have time with you !

You went on to find yokoo, satou, and mitsuba ! Your three best buddies and also your boyfriends !

as you were about to enter the classroom and ask them where he was you overheard them talking

"this is just a load of BS !! [F/N] Has to know!" Mitsuba says as he slams his fist on the desk

Making yokoo and satou flinch, "We know but, we don't know how to tell them.. and i most definitely know they wont take this news too well.." Satou says

"Won't tell me about what?"

You scared the three

they looked, Sad?

"What's going on?"

"[F/N]! Uhh,, i-it's nothing dont wo—"

"I want to know, Yokoo" You cut him off as you sit down infront of the three

They gave you a look of pity, and sadness

But before they can say anything, Kou entered the classroom, before you could even stand up to go to him you saw your senior, Yashiro clinging onto him

They look so happy.

"Kou, are we gonna go to that cafe down the street?"

"Yup, I'll just grab my bag and we'll be on our way"

You look at the three who had their heads down

He hadn't even noticed you, cause they were covering you from his field of vision

"Hey guys ! Me and Nene are gonna go—"

He stopped when he saw you, Your hands clenched so tight on the table and the sounds of sobbing

"Why, Kou?.." You looked at him with teary eyes "To think you would cheat on me, with our senior?" Looking at Yashiro who had a look of guilt

"[F/N] Its not what it lo—"

"Save it. you don't have to worry anymore, cause this relationship is over" You stand up and leave the classroom, But Yashiro grabs your hand and had tears in her eyes

"[L/N] I-im"

"You're sorry?" You look at her, no emotions whatsoever "You knew about me and kous relationship, yet you still got in the way of it, I knew you still had feelings for him, but wow. To think i ever thought so highly of you, You don't deserve my respect nor my friendship."

You yanked your hand from her and ran

He tried to call you

Text you

Even went to your house, But your parents would always kick him out, and even went as far as to call the police for trespassing

The damage was done, there was nothing he can do to fix this

His sorrys, and gifts won't fix this damaged relationship

Whenever he sees you in the corridor, he would try and fix the mess he made

he played you for a fool

You started to distance yourself from him, Just seeing his face makes you wanna break down

How could he do this to you.

Aoi Akane

You were never my first option.

It was a miracle and a huge shock that you were his s/o

You confessed to him a few weeks ago about yoir feelings towards him, and he returned your feelings !

Officially together~

surprisingly

Started off with going on dates, walks home, cuddling at home, you know the usual any couple would do

But after a month he started to give you the cold shoulder

and you just can't find him anywhere

went to the student council where he always is, but teru said he hasn't seen him come in

Went to his class, But not even Nene or Yamabuki has seen him

Where is he?

The one person you haven't asked is his childhood friend

Aoi was taken by the student council President so you doubt she would do anything funny

right?

The last place you haven't checked is the rooftop, He would go up there to let out some steam

You didn't see aoi but you heard commotion out there, so you peaked a little, eavesdropping

"Akane?" You call out, but you hear, Fuji? how odd, he would most likely charm yashiro into doing his work and he'll skip off with his friends, its surprising that he's still here

"You can't tell me what to do. Fuji."

'Akane !'

you peeked from the wall, It looked like those two were arguing

"Dude! Lay off! Akane-san has already turned you down multiple times, plus you're in a serious relationship!!" He says as he grabs his shoulders

"Serious? More like clowning, i still have feelings for Aoi. I thought that if tried to put my feelings onto another person that is not her it would worl, but it didn't, my heart still beats for her."

What?

You walked in on those two and they stopped arguing

"Really Akane?" You ask in disbelief, You were on the verge of crying yet he hasn't shown any sign of guilt nor sadness

Haha.. just plain ol cruel Akane..

"Did you really think I'd like you THAT much?, I only dated you cause you act and talk as Aoi. my heart still beats for her, but that damn president got to her first."

Now that you realized it, He would constantly mention Aoi's name.

Even from the start of your, what do you even call this thing you have between you two

He just used you as a rebound.

"You really are a cruel person huh?" You say as you look up at him with tears in your eyes

You really thought he would like you

Loved you back even.

You did everything just for him to notice you.

Studied hard.

Joined the gardening club.

"Look what you did Ao—"

"Stay out of this Fuji. Why don't you run along and play with Yashiros feelings. What im doing is the same as yours, right?" He looks him dead in the eye and Fuji walks out

He's so cruel

He even put down every mistake you did during this 'relationship' you had with him

"Tsk. Did you really think I'd love you as much as i loved her?" He says as he walks towards the rooftop doors

"Might i add" Stopping beside you, he looks down at you

"You were never my first option, and never will be, consider this.. Clown of a relationship over."

Hitting your shoulder as he goes back inside

probably off to find Aoi and confess his love.

You broke down

But why?

You really did love him, Everything about him. He was the one that inspired you to become better, to study harder..

In your eyes, He was your Number 1

but you weren't his.

Aha, see what i did there, with the number 1— ill shut up

[alice-the-demon]

So huh, I wrote a "fan-script" about one of the sketches I made here about when both Dynamite Anton and Annie got expelled from high school (19-20 y/o).

I came up with the story while drawing, I'm not a master at writing fanfics so uh, if you have any criticism or general comment(s) about it tell me lol

(TW: Alcoholism, Depression)

•

•

•

(They both got kicked out from high school at their last year, they didn't receive their diploma. To cheer up Anton and Annie decided to go out and drink something. They sit on a bench in a park and they start drinking beer.)

Anton: ... Man.

Annie: Eh, at this point it's like a routine. *She talks while gesturing with the beer bottle in one hand* We go to school, the teachers talk about boring stuff, Danton and Nina annoy us, we get scolded by the principal, we go home with a note and repeat the whole thing until we get to next year.

Anton: Annie. We blew up a classroom. With the principal in it. We got expelled for that. Now we can never go back and get our diploma!

Annie: *While shrugging* Meh, it's just a stupid piece of paper anyway. *She drinks more beer.*

Anton: *Stays silent for a moment, looking at the ground* ... Do you still remember our days in elementary school? I do a little. In fact... I remember that one time we were playing in the playground, and in a corner I saw you being tugged by a bigger kid to take away the doll you were playing with, you tried to defend yourself but they were stronger. The moment they punched you I ran towards them and I bited them. Heh... The teachers had to drag me back in the classroom to lecture me on what I did... I yelled and cried like a wild animal, hahaha... Hah... *He pauses as his face gets darker, he leanes back on the bench and looks up. The sun is setting and the sky is starting to get darker.* Y'know... In my whole life the others always said that I'm incorrigible. That I can't behave no matter how many times I get in trouble. That I can't learn from my mistakes. That I'm... Hopeless. That I'll have a miserable life... And... that I'll die without accomplishing anything.

...

I'm starting to think they're right. *He starts to sob while laughing* Haha...! That's how life is gonna be, isn't it? Being hated by everyone... No dignity... Nothing of value coming out of me... Just a stupid, immature, pathetic... *His voice shakes as rivers of tears starts forming on his cheeks* ... Useless man broken beyond repair since the very start! HAHAHAHAHAHA! *His laughing slowly transforms into a desperate cry as he covers his face with his left hand as he clutch the beer bottle with the right one. After a while he stops sobbing and sniffs his nose up.* ... Hell. This is Hell. Like... The one that we read in school during literature. Da... Danche? Dan... Te... Somthin'...? *He turns his head towards Annie* You get what I mean, right?

Annie: *She's sleeping while snoring loudly, leaned all the way on the bench*

(Annie fell asleep halfway through Anton's flashback. He stays silent as he looks at Annie with discouragement. He then sighed. It's not like Annie would have understood what Anton feels anyway. He thinks. He's not sure. They have never talked about nor understood feelings, they'd just humour away the pain together. But this time everything feels... Too heavy. He looks at the beer bottle he's holding, it's half full. He leans back on the bench and drinks all of it, trying to numb away the pain.)

[qloof]

do you happen ship MasaKing by any chance? (lol)

wtf is a masaking 🙄🙄🙄

Ship It

1.) What made you ship it?

when i was younger i had never seen Metal Fury. i think i saw clips of it but i never really knew what went on, i just knew Fusion and Masters. when i watched the Destroyer Dome arc for the first time back in (i think) 2021 i was like "what the fuck just happened between those two" and then at the end of the Beyster Island arc i was like "why is there romantic subtext in here who wrote this😭😭😭" and it was just really funny witnessing it. i didnt think of them too much after bcus i was busy finishing the rest of the season, until i finished and drew them together ONCE. then i was immediately stuck to them. like drawing them once changed my entire brain chemistry (they r also technically my first beyblade ship i think, other than me in elementary school shipping myself with tsubasa adjjdj) 2.) What are your favorite things about the ship?

ouee they r just so silly and stupid. they're very endearing and comforting. they have their whole rivalry going on and it's all very light-hearted and fun and they love each other <33

3.) Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i dont think so..? idk im like the guy who talks abt them the most..im the masaking guy. im always open to interpretations and other headcanons of them tho !!